#Queerplatonic Relationships

[just-trying-my-best-everyday]

I love Pacific Rim because they really said "you can defeat giant monsters with the power of queerplatonic relationships and unspeakable mecha violence".

[daybringersol]

begging people to remember that queer-platonic relationships are not one specific type of relationship, it’s any relationship between people who choose to queer expectations around what platonic means. queer-platonic relationships don’t need long-term commitment, queer-platonic relationships don’t need to be prioritized over other types of relationships, queer-platonic relationships don’t need to be “pure” (aka sexless, we know what yall mean by that /neg), queer-platonic relationships don’t need to be anything in particular, that’s the fucking point.

that’s why, i’m gonna be honest with you, i’m very confused at what queer-platonic attraction as a concept could possibly be cuz every queer-platonic relationship is going to be different, including in types of attractions involved (or lack thereof). the only way i could make sense of it is like as a type of attraction that makes you want to diverge from social normal around platonic attraction, but that is just not the definition it has at the moment.

that’s also why i’m confused with any posts that talks about queer-platonic relationships as if they’re like.. one thing. one universal experience for anyone who has them. they are not.

i could fuck nasty with a friend for two weeks, never do it again and it’d be a queer-platonic relationship. i could (hypothetically, i actually could never) spend the rest of my life raising a child with a friend, completely sexlessly and romancelessly, and it’d also be a queer-platonic relationship. hell, i could choose to schedule completely silent cuddling sessions with people i barely know once a month like it’s a business meeting and it could still be a queer-platonic relationships.

anyways, please read up on relationship anarchy if you haven’t already 🙏

[professor-beaker]

If a happy relationship is so important in society, why are queerplatonic relationships so looked down upon? Legitimate question

[cosmicredcadet]

I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."

it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.

I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.

[inky-squid-art]

im still alive. hi

[goddammiteverythingstaken]

does anybody have any, and I mean ANY, recommendations for media where there is a cannon QPR? I love a hc as much as the next fella, but I would really love to see how things like labels and the communication necessary in that kind of relationship plays out in media

[teapot-of-tyrahn]

scott and cleo on choice and soulmates.

marsadist // mhairi mcfarlane // elytrians // yescking // galacticidiots // eduardosaverin7 // spectralsuggestions // slytherverse // 0xeyedaisy // mrspider // kiersten white

[honeyspotpie]

Normalize more queerplatonic relationships in media. Normalize more best friends who kiss. They don't kiss because the other person's lips make the butterflies in their stomach flutter or make their cheeks turn rosey. They kiss because each other's lips are enough to keep each other warm. Their touch is enough to melt off all the years of winter on their skin. Their embrace is enough of a reason to cherish their moments together, because they won't last forever. And they take the world on, smiling, knowing they have each other. And that is all they ever needed.

[platonic-qpr-selfshipping]

"I will wait for you," your f/o reassures you. "No matter what you could have heard before, no matter what it is you're dealing with; I will wait for you. Know that you got me waiting for whatever you need. I'm not going anywhere."

[gemsandjunk]

I desperately want more queerplatonic representation in media. I want qprs that are married with children, qprs with sexual elements, qprs where not everyone involved is aro, young and old qprs, toxic qprs with messy breakups. Queerplatonic relationships can look like literally anything and it seems like even indie creators don't want to tap into that market. they deserve so much more recognition than just "it's not romance-lite."

[inezrable]

Once again yearning to be in a queerplatonic polycule with Aziraphale and Crowley

[zarasu]

Romantic bingqiu with queerplatonic liushen and eventual queerplatonic bingliushen, pretend relationship

---

When Binghe is in the abyss, Lqg gets into a bit of a conundrum.

Political peak lord reasons make him have to find a partner, as quickly as possible. Seeing his friend strangely upset about him, Sqq goes to reassure him that he could get any girl he wants and gets an awkward confession instead that Lqg, in fact, isn’t interested in anyone either romantically or sexually and probably never will be. Sqq, bro that he is, makes a suggestion. They’re going to pretend to be a couple so Lqg doesn’t have to get together with anyone that would have expectations. 

This goes surprisingly well. Lqg visits Sqq so often that he might as well live in the bamboo house too and no one doubts that they’re a couple. They get along well after a few initial hiccups and quickly grow very fond of each other until they’re inseparable. 

After almost two years of all that, Binghe returns from the abyss and, through the power of communication and Lqg’s bluntness, makes up with Sqq and returns to Qing Jing Peak as a disciple, miraculously recovered from death.

At this point, Binghe doesn’t feel entitled to his Shizun’s love, so when he finds out that Liushen are “together”, he quietly accepts it even though his heart breaks a little.

Several months pass that look somewhat like this: 

Lqg goes on hunts, brings Sqq back interesting things and is overall very content with his life. He also expects Sqq to eventually get together with the disciple he acted like a grieving widow about for so long. He’s secure enough in his relationship with Sqq to know that it won’t change that much, even when Bingqiu happens.

Sqq is ecstatic that Binghe is back and that he has somewhat forgiven him. He can’t stop touching him and making him spend time with Sqq and squeezing as much time and attention out of Binghe as he can while wondering why he still wants more. He’s also very confused as to why he keeps getting upset when Binghe talks too much to any girl or is out of his sight for more than two hours. Lastly, Binghe seems strangely down, but Sqq is sure it’s just the lingering trauma from the abyss. He also keeps the fact that his relationship with Lqg is purely queerplatonic a secret, partly because he barely even remembers these days that they’re pretending to be romantic and partly because he doesn’t want to betray Lqg’s trust.

Meanwhile, Binghe is devastated every time he sees Liushen being tender or comfortable with each other and more or less depressed the rest of the time. He looks at Sqq yearningly 16 hours a day and cries into his pillow every night. He hates Lqg with all of his soul, but can’t even find that much fault with him except that he doesn’t cook or clean for Sqq and that he doesn’t flatter and admire Sqq enough and that he isn’t jealous enough and does Sqq even feel loved??? 

He goes through a whole arc of cooking and cleaning for Sqq before he realises that it makes him too sad to do that when Sqq will never return his love. He also decimates three entire demon clans and the demon realm is weeping and desperately trying to find Binghe a bride so he’ll calm down.

It all comes to a head when Binghe decides he can’t take it anymore and packs his little rucksack to leave Qing Jing Peak. He only gets halfway down the mountain before Lqg catches him in the act and confronts him because: Is he going to abandon Sqq? Does he not love him after all??

Binghe tensely tells him that he doesn’t need to worry, Binghe isn’t going to try and steal him from Lqg. He was just about to leave.

Lqg replies that he better get his butt back up there and explains the situation to him.

Having his worldview rearranged, Binghe quietly goes back to the dorms and takes a few days to process the information. Lqg and Sqq are together but not romantically? Not even sexually? Binghe isn’t quite sure how someone can be with Sqq in a purely platonic way but he’s prepared to accept it. It takes him a while, but eventually, he reaches the conclusion that: if he has the chance to be with Sqq as long as he accepts that Lqg is going to be a part of their life too, he’s gonna take it.

Meanwhile, Lqg has told Sqq all of his confrontation with Binghe and Sqq is highkey panicking. What if Binghe hates him now for being gay for him? Probably gay. Admittedly, likely gay. What if he’s disgusted with him?? He wavers between going to talk to Binghe about it and avoiding him at all costs. 

In the end, it’s Binghe who confronts him and they have a long talk that ends with them snogging on the floor, Binghe crying, and two emotionally constipated love confessions.

It takes some time, but the three find a way to fit together. Bingqiu are unbearable the first while and Lqg goes on many, many hunts to not hear anything he doesn’t want to hear. But, eventually, Lqg returns to being a frequent visitor and even spends the night there now and then. Binghe grows… fond… of Lqg. He supposes. At least somewhat. Lqg thinks Binghe is a little strange, but he’s Lqg’s now, so that’s alright. Sqq can be a bit strange too. Bingqiu are still unbearable, but what can you do? In the end, they’re happy in their own way, all three of them.

[cosmicredcadet]

I think there's a genuine conversation to be had about how aro spaces have begun pushing QPRs in a similar way that amatonormativity pushes romantic relationships onto people but a majority of aros just refuse to engage in the discussion because they see it as an attack on QPRs or people saying QPRs are romantic relationships lite instead of actually looking at the fact it's critiquing how some Aros have begun pushing it almost like an alternative to romance and something all Aro's want.

No one is saying QPRs are bad but rather that there is too much push that the idea of a QPR will fix people's problems. "oh you're lonely? just find a QPR!" "You dont have to be in a romantic relationship you can be in a QPR!" "QPR is MORE than friendship" etc etc.

There's a genuine critique here of QPRs being used to continue to push amatonormativity by again assuming that every aro wants a partner - even if not romantic - and I think we can have a genuine conversation about this rather than going at each other throats over a fake argument of "QPRs bad"

[yourlocalgaymafia]

One thing that’s been bugging me lately is society’s definition of queerplatonic attraction. Why is it that queerplatonic relationships are described as being the “in between” area of platonic and romantic attraction?

All this does is establish a hierarchy with romantic attraction on one end and platonic attraction on the other, where it seems as if the general view is that platonic attraction holds less value than romantic attraction. No, a QPR is not “less than a relationship and more than a friendship.”

Let’s not bring this line of black and white thinking into the aro community, because it’s already setting society up, to thinking that the difference between queerplatonic and romantic relationships is that romantic relationships hold more value.

The actual definition of queerplatonic attraction is far far more complex in my opinion. Although difficult to define, it’s the desire for an intimate relationship with someone, that is not based on romantic attraction at all. So stop comparing it to romantic attraction when it has absolutely nothing to do with it.

[somethingintheforest]

I just finished Buddy Daddies and booooooooyyyyyy I am a mess. I am so so so SO happy to see what is essentially a canon queerplatonic relationship. I love you queerplatonic relationships.