#Roy would be on a roller coaster trying to deal with him

[goodmorninglovelies42]

What if I added some magical realism and de-aged Jamie for a fic and Roy has to be soft with him, because he’s a child, and when whatever magic wears off, and he’s an adult again, Roy doesn’t know what to do with all those soft feelings? What then?

[oreganosbaby]

okay your turn, please share your thoughts about each character's view of what waystar does. i agree with what you said about logan vs roman and this whole thing is like. so revealing about the characters and their motivations and desires lmao

Idk how corherent this is but here we go:

Well Roman called it "roller coasters and hate speech." It's flippant and even slightly irreverant. It's detachment from the way Waystar is percieved: shitty cruises, shitty amusement parks, shitty movies and shitty news. He knows it all kind of sucks. His dad's power is something to be proud of but, the source of it is... It leaves something to be desired. The only way to not feel too bad about it is through this detachment, by assuming you're better than the rubes who inject ATN into their veins via IV and then are convinced that genderfluid illegals are entering the country "twice." Tom, Shiv, Kendall and even Connor all kind of have this view as well. They've also all called Logan a bigot in some way or another at least one time. I think Gerri views it quite similarly to them as she doesn't even watch ATN (and in all fairness I can't picture her watching it either). For these characters it only differs in how they deal with this fact.

For Shiv, she has the "What if Waystar were run by a Good Person" fantasy. She thinks she can clean the company (maybe not publically), but doesn't realise it's dirtier than she anticipated and that she has less power than she thought. Part of cleaning it is making it respectable, though. It's not just some kind of ethical/moral shit. It's also about image and ego. The lowbrow hogshit they put out is embarrassing and shameful. It's not the kind of thing an intelligent West Wing-watching Liberal like herself can feel good about having her name attached to.

Kendall deals with it somewhat similarly, but because he wasn't as concerned with the content of their news outlets when he was temporary CEO, I don't really know how he'd wanna change it. He does, however, recognize it as old-fashioned, lame and dying which is why he tries to bring it up to speed by getting it closer to tech since that's both the present and future of mass-media. It's an inverse of Shiv's in how the image and ego motive is at the forefront and his more moral/ethical motive, which is to dutifully carry on his father's legacy before he embarasses himself by ruining it beyond repair, is in the back.

Roman views himself as absolutely helpless, so he's just indifferent toward it with his cynical post-ironic detachment. Of course, his nihilism is projected onto everyone so, he views both those who rail against ATN and those who come to its defense as equally stupid. Him seeing himself as better than them because of his nihilistic detachment and his ability to view the bars of the cage is probably the most egotistical he gets. He's willing to go along with what his dad wants because he's passive, doesn't believe in change and most importantly, desperate to please.

Connor knows their dads a bigot, so I would just assume he thinks it's like half bullshit, but also he's out here talking abt usury and onanism, so he might just be watching some worse shit.

Tom, Greg and Gerri are all similar in how they view it in that for them, it's part of the job. Tom shames Greg for his hipocracy when he's getting cheered on by fascists, but defends Ravenhead in front of Shiv. He's surprised when Cyd tells him that ATN is intelligent news or whatever because he assumed everyone would have the same kind of detachment that he and the Roy children have. Tom wants to be liked by others. He wants to stay out of trouble, but gets himself into it. He feels like he can't change Waystar's party line because he's not Logan, but he could at least try to make himself look Less Bad to people. I wonder if Cyd is like Tom and felt the need to defend ATN the way he did with Shiv. Greg is just surviving, but he likes feeling important and included. He's malleable because he's like a soggy person. Gerri "I avoid mess" Kellman is surprisingly similar to Roman in their "it can't be helped" attitude. For her, however, it's not that she feels totally powerless, but she still feels like she's tethered by the job. She's worked too hard to fuck off just because of petty morality. I think Tom is kind of at that point now too.

Logan... well, he views himself as synonymous with the company, so he refuses to see what he does as bad. Neutral at worst, but never bad. He thinks he's the ubermensch: beyond good and evil, motivated by pure self-fulfillment via financial success, but like you said, Catholicism lives in his head rent free. He is not immune to feeling guilt. While I do think he does genuinely have views that align with the political right, the things he tries to feel less guilty about are the horrific shit like the cruises or replicating the physical abuse that his uncle subjected him to. The cruises thing has two major components: death and sexual violence. Those seem to be two things Logan wants to avoid in his life even though he's always complicit in it by being at the top of the chain of command at home and at work (though there's like nearly a complete overlap in the two). Shiv is a girl, not a woman to him. She's his only daughter and he delays her involvement in the cruises case because he doesn't want her to be near that dirty shit. He doesn't wanna ruin Shiv and even worse, he doesn't want Shiv to hate him and leave. Shiv is the most protected in this regard, but he barely tells his sons anything either. You can see anxiety on Hugo's face when he tells the kids that Logan wasn't directly involved in anything. If anything should be seperate it's sex (the body), death (also the body) and his children who are the physical (though he Pretends Not to See It) and spiritual extensions of him. The language of sex, death and violence is fine because it's metaphorical and abstract. Those things in their physical reality are wrong. The body is dirty and he doesn't have one because he's not dirty. He never hit Roman because neither of them have bodies. They don't eat because they don't bave bodies. He saw Roman's dick and now he sees he has a body. What a sicko for wanting someone to see him that way, the way a whore presents herself.

[ecoamerica]

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[hintofelation99]

Hi! I love your posts and want to ask your opinion on something. Who do you think in the batfam has the most and the least common sense of a normal person? If you can, can you also list how they are arranged? Thank you!

Ooohhh, this is a fun one! In my mind all bats lack common sense. Like obviously they're hella smart, after all they are a family of detectives, they just aren't very bright.

Here's a quick rundown (least to most): Tim and Dick tie for first place, both lack common sense in just in completely different ways. Then Damian (mostly cause of the whole 'being raised by league of assassins' thing), Bruce, Cass (controversial ik), Steph, Jason, Duke, Babs, and last on the list is obvs Alfred. (Kate is probs between Cass and Steph, but I've only really seen her in the DCAMU and need to get to know her better).

And Ima add a 'keep reading' cause this is gonna get long.

Tim:

Tim is one of the smartest in the family. He deduced Batman's identity as a child, majorly fucked up the League of Assassins, and has been honored (I say this v sarcastically just btw) with Ra's creepy obsession. He's smart, plain and simple. However, when it comes to just day to day survival and being loved, goddamn that boy is dumb.

He regularly mixes energy drinks and coffee. Sometimes he even mixes energy drinks, alcohol, and coffee.

In his mind warnings are optional. "Tim, did you just sniff that drano?" "Yeah, why?" "IT LITERALLY SAYS DO NOT SMELL" "Oops"

He regularly tests shit on himself. "Why is Tim on the floor?" "He mixed joker venom and fear gas to see what would happen" "HE WHAT"

Also if you try to compliment him or tell him you love him he will find a way to misunderstand. "Tim, I love you and you are an amazing son." "I don't know who this Tim is but he sounds great" "It- it's you, literally you. Timothy Jackson Drake." "I'm a bit confused, I didn't know you knew two Timothy Jackson Drakes. You should really introduce us."

Dick:

Dick in many ways is a total himbo. He's a complete sweetheart, super supportive, and very ditzy. His ditzy-ness directly correlates to how relaxed he is. Chilling in the manor? Peak himbo. A mission in space? Absolute genius and amazing leader. Just took down a bunch of thugs? Slowly reverting into dopey boi. He always has the ability to be super analytical, smart, and big brain, but he likes being whimsical and even airheaded. And that's not a bad thing, it's just him taking mental breaks, being lighthearted.

"YOU PUT DIESEL IN YOUR CAR?" "...Yeah, in my defense the nozzles look basically the same" "They're different colors?! Also the diesel nozzle doesn't even fit into your gas tank, how did you get it in?" "I'm a good pourer."

He always responds to the word dick and it always confuses him. "God Ra's is such a dick!" "What?" "Ra's is a dick" "I'm not Ra's!" "Wha- no! I mean penis dick!" "Ohhhh, yeah he is a penis dick"

Once Dick is safe he reverts into himbo pretty quickly, even after stressful situations. "Hey Wally?" "Yes babe?" "I forgot how to change my lock screen again" "Dick, you just hacked into an alien spaceship not even an hour ago??" "What's that have to do with anything?"

Damian:

Damian lacks common sense from growing up with the League of Assassins. He's an amazing warrior and super analytical but casual human interaction alludes him. He is getting better though, so eventually he'll be lower on the list than Steph. But for now he's a senseless bby.

The first time someone tried to give him high five he assumed it was an attack and flipped them. Same with a fist bump.

This is complete canon but his original treatment of Alfred, his brothers, and, well, everyone. Like bby boy please read the room.

His ego can easily override common sense. Like he wouldn't jump off a bridge if everyone else was doing it, but if someone said he couldn't he'd immediately swan dive off that bridge.

Bruce:

For the world's greatest detective he can be a major dumb bitch sometimes. Some of it's growing up rich and some is being so wrapped up in his 'crusade for justice' that he just misses basic shit.

One time he walked in on Roy and Jason making out, the next day he saw them cuddling, then they mentioned moving in together. It took him three months to realize that they're dating.

He doesn't understand coupons, like at all. Jason has tried to explain them but Bruce just gets even more confused.

Bruce tried to make coffee once. He literally just poured coffee beans in water and microwaved it. He was surprised when it didn't taste good.

Cass:

Cass is similar to Damian in she lacks common sense from an unconventional upbringing. However she's learning way faster than Damian and depending on where in the timeline you're looking she might have more common sense than Babs.

Basic things like lines, turn taking, and speaking when spoken to aren't innate to her. Like, she knows and understands them, but often forgets about them.

There are many times that she blurs the line between civilian and vigilante because she'll do something that looks v stupid and dangerous for a civilian. The thing is she never notices when she does this.

One time she was in a restaurant and there was a cockroach on the wall across the room (cause Gotham) and instead of getting up and killing it like a normal person she threw her steak knife and impaled it.

Steph:

Steph is probably lacks common sense the most conventional yet slightly concerning way. She lacks common sense in the same way a cartoon character or sitcom character would. Like it's sorta realistic but at the same time damn bby girl why are you such a disaster??

She will do anything on a dare. Anything. There is a rule against daring Steph to do things while in the manor or on patrol.

Every time she hears someone say Red Robin she yells yum. This has gotten both her and RR shot.

Steph is v lucky that 1) she's a badass and 2) the batfam loves her because she annoys absolutely everyone just for shits and giggles and the only reason she hasn't been murdered is that Cass scares everyone.

Jason:

All common sense is lost when dramas at stake. Say what you will but Jason is the (second) biggest drama queen in the family. Also he, like most bats, lacks a sense of self preservation which leads to shit common sense.

He tried to steal Batman's tires.

Sometimes he listens to music during patrol and tries to hit people/shoot on beat. This has lead to stab wounds.

Jason loves to loudly quote classic literature while on stake outs. This is a problem for obvious reasons.

Duke:

Ok this is around the time you get to average common sense levels. But he still runs around Gotham beating people up in tights (or kevlar) so he doesn't get full points. Also he's still not Babs level common sense. One area Duke lacks common sense in is how to deal with the Batfam (which is v understandable tbh)

One time Duke was joking around with Jason and decided to steal a roll off of Damian's plate. This ended in blood.

Other than lacking Batfam common sense, most of his poor judgement moments are less notable but still concerning.

For example the time he challenged Dick to a hot dog eating contest then went on a roller coaster.

Babs:

Other than being a vigilante Babs almost has normal human common sense. However being a vigilante has negative side effects on ones common sense.

While Babs' sleep schedule isn't as bad as Tim's it's not a whole lot better. She's stayed up 72 consecutive hours multiple times.

She has accidentally poured coffee onto her computer instead of into a coffee mug.

One time she drank an entire gallon of milk before realizing it was a month expired.

Alfred:

Most assume that working for Bruce Wayne is a sign of him lacking common sense. But nah, it's him knowing, understanding, and challenging his own limits. Also it's him being a charitable human being. Like he has enough common sense to go around and tbh it's the only thing keeping the family alive.

"Master Bruce, you may not use Elmer's Glue All to close a wound."

"Master Dick I would encourage you not to teach Master Duke acrobatics on the glass coffee table."

"Miss Stephanie I would not advise trying to consume an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting, and no, I do not care if Master Jason dared you to."

Tada, there's the list! Sorry that was probably a lot longer than anyone wanted, but I enjoy talking about how ditzy the batfam is. Like they're all geniuses but at the same time they're just sooooo dumb.

[friggsdc]

Title: little delinquent pt iii

part ii | part iii | part iv

Warnings: Female!reader (bat!sis), mostly family fluff, AU, hurt/comfort, Jason’s language

Word Count: 4700~

Synop: It had Bruce and Dick sharing a look for a moment before the latter spoke up, “It’s not like I’m against continuing to expand the family, but…” he eyed the child you held nervously, “please don’t start bringing home every child you find…” he tilted his head, “he’s bad enough.” Bruce settled a light glare at his first son (that definitely wasn’t what Bruce was thinking), though Dick was stilled by the way your eyes narrowed at him instead.

“His name is Terrence,” that was all you said, brushing past as they were suddenly on guard at the inherited Wayne-scowl on your face.

-

A/N:  tbh I cut the last chapter in two, this is the second half ee;;;; but I rewrote it to be it’s own chapter tho haha. Hum… this doesn’t pick up exactly where the last chapter ended, but it’s still all here. c’: Also, if you wear glasses, just know grumpy ol’ Bruce would probably force contacts on you in public (he’d see them as more ‘professional,’ and glasses as a danger/hazard in the field). Glasses are for home only sighs.

Ngl I see lexcorp similar to westworld’s delos, lotsa fancy designs ee;;;; Cadmus like nasa test rooms, clinical as heck with little to no windows, and wayne ent with Alien franchise’s archaic but advanced spaceship tech, or dracula’s castle with cubicles lmao

-

             “Hey, Jaybird…”

Normally he knew what to expect, normally he’d open the door braced for a tackle, so when the rush of wind never came, he was at a bit of a loss. There you were, dressed like Bruce for some irritating reason. A size-too-big of a jacket, zipped up over a uselessly thin black turtleneck, a pair of black gloves, pants covering everything, and a pair of black lace-less… boots… with red… soles…?, and a suspiciously familiar-looking kid in your arms…

There was a slight guilty look on your face as you gauged his reaction, he could tell, you were nervous.

Wait.

He eyed the kid something scary, his voice grounding out, “so, who do I have to murder?”

“You weren’t gone that long, you know.” Snorting, you pushed past him into the small safe house, frowning at the bareness of it all before situating Terrence on the floor mattress. “How you sleep on this thing is beyond me…” he just shrugged, “too used to it? Answer the question,” he pointed at the kid while closing the door, “who?”

Agitated.

“Terrence,” said child was looking around, but there was only so much that would grab his attention, as empty as the room was.

“His name is Terrence, and he’s no one else’s, he’s… mine.”

“You just said it hasn’t been that damned long—” his frustration was building; he wasn’t liking where this was going, not that you were aware which direction his head was headed at the moment, you’d just gotten here.

You shook your head, “don’t tell me you…” his anger settled into a dark scowl, but you refused to look at him, “you can’t seriously bring more kids into that fucking prison.” He was so conflicted, it was you, but you were still a Wayne. It scared him to think of more children stuck in that lonely mansion, becoming bitter like he had.

You remembered what Dick had said days earlier when he first saw the child,

“Jason—” you began, a slight warning to your tone.

He didn’t care,

“Don’t be like Bruce.”

His voice was so cold.

Terrence had crawled his way over to the legs of the table in the makeshift kitchen, eyes on a prize as he began trying to figure out how a chair worked.

“You know, that actually hurt.”

You didn’t hate your father like Jason projected, but you knew the way he spoke about him, the way he expressed his feelings, that he ‘hated’ him. It was a half-truth, you knew. Jason preferred not hurting you, next to Alfred, you were more tolerable than the other family members. 

Somedays Tim and Dick made that list. Somedays. 

But that didn’t mean he was actively trying to be kind, he wanted it to stab.

Petty. Resentful. Haunted.

He went to say more, but stopped, fists shaking slightly from anger.

You were staring him down, that same look of disappointment Bruce would give him when he made an obviously stupid decision, as if he were still a Robin in training. Like your father, you could read him like an open book when you tried, it made him feel vulnerable, guilty, small.

Fucking frustrated.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he was at a loss for words, “…shit.” He turned away from you, coming back to the moment as he tried to reign in his temper, “it’s just…”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not.”

Instead of continuing to argue the point, too used to his outbursts (Alfred and your family primed you too well for dealing with the unstable emotions of others), you walked over and wrapped your arms around him, head resting on his clothed chest, “missed you, Jay.”

Almost hesitantly, his arms returned the hug, his head burying itself in your hair, “sorry…” he breathed out, almost too quiet. He was tense as you pulled back a bit, reaching up to grab his face in your gloved hands as you leaned up on your toes, pulling his head down to yours. You touched your forehead to his, making certain to be gentle, “Honestly, it’s okay Jay. I forgive you, okay?”

“Cold,” his hands cupped your (oddly chilled) gloved ones, eyes searching your face before he shifted, head nodding slightly, rubbing yours. A heavy sigh escaped him, an awkward smile forming, “so, how’s my cutest little sister been?”

Glad that he was trying to get past his guilt, you shook your head, “a roller coaster. Dad’s upset at me.”

He just snorted in amusement, relaxing a little as you continued, “And how was California? The Titans? I miss Kory…” you blinked at his flat expression, “what? You were at the Tower, right? With Kory and Roy, and the others?”

Wow you ruined the moment fast.

“Aaaand that’s where you stop being cute. I swear this family is full of creepers. I think Dick’s the only normal one,” you tilted your head as he kept his hands firmly on your shoulders. “Honestly, you and Tim are terrifying, your brother is a demon, and I don’t even want to describe Bruce.”

“Glad you didn’t include yourself in that, zomboy,” he groaned, “that’s hurtful,” then he pouted, finally getting a good look at you.

Terrence was old enough to stand on his two legs as he held onto the chair, but he kept stumbling as he moved uncertainly. His eyes were focused on his mission as he started trying to climb further up.

Something clicked in the back of Jason’s brain, sudden realization dawning, “what…” you sighed, his hand moving from your shoulder, “is this…?” You refused to meet his stare as his fingers hooked on the zipper of your jacket, “uhm…” you flushed as he pulled it down, a bright red bat in his face.

There was a sudden sparkle in his eyes.

“Huh, didn’t expect you to be that much of a fan.” You were burning from head to toe now, refusing to look at him at all, rubbing the back of your neck with a thick swallow. “That… that’s kind of the problem…”

“What, that you’re walking around with my colors?” His grin seemed disappointed, but turned a bit more concerned at the frown you leveled at him, “it… let me explain… I think I need help…”

“Definitely gonna need explanations. A lot of them.” The kid was one thing, this outfit was another. He made to sit down, and you followed, leaving Terrence to his own devices for the moment. 

It’s not like there was much trouble to get into, everything of worth or danger was out of his reach.

“…yeah.”

“…”

“…”

“What is it?”

“…Why’d you think I slept with someone? When you first saw Terrence in my arms?”

He leaned away from you, chin resting on his palm, propped up on the arm of the couch with his elbow, “I’m your brother, and he looks like… it’s… I’m supposed to get upset about that… just… answer…” he did his best to keep a straight face, but eventually he had to turn away, looking at the wall, ears burning.

“Hm…?” you leaned towards him and he didn’t have to look at you to know you had a less than innocent smile on right now.

“Creep.”

You just laughed as you leaned into his side, causing him to crack a small smile, still not looking at you.

-

[“So… How to start this…”]

[“The suit, first, Terry after.”]

[“Terry?”]

[“The kid. Just explaaaaain already, uuugh I have patrol in a few hours…”]

[A heavy sigh, “Okay, then... So, you know how Lex helps fund the Society’s shenanigans?”]

[“…oh.”]

[“Yeah.”]

-

When it came to most places, breaking and entering was always easier at night, but for the LexCorp building? Nighttime came with problems, it came with heightened security, rigorous control, and the easy ability to spot something that was out of place. There was also your youngest brother who had filled you in on his adventures with Jon once, not a single detail of the LexCorp building having been left out; he was a thorough kid.

It was far easier to infiltrate during the day, the number of staff on the security team, the cliques of scientists and researchers, and the average workers meandering about made it easy to blend. You had donned a pair of (older prototype) smart glasses, normal from the viewer’s perspective, an integrative matrix mapping AI system from the wearer’s. Well, it could do more, but this was what you needed, the constant reconstruction of old building plans for more accuracy as you walked around.

Tim’d made some amazing things over the years, such as his matrix encryption to keep your work phone quiet, scrambling any noticeable connections that could be traceable. But this one was probably the coolest in your opinion, and he had yet to see the return of said glasses since you wouldn’t give them up, and he could never find where you’d put them. The glasses were a useful subtle change from the norm, a quick disguise, the security barely giving you a glance-over as you entered the passcode for the ID tag you wore, walking into the building.

With a slight wave from you, and a “Good Afternoon!” from them, getting in the backdoor was always the easy part. There were two more women next to you chatting in excitement and you made to stick close to them, parting only when you came upon the women’s locker rooms. The badge number Tim’d tracked down for you was useful until it wasn’t, Lex’s problem was needing levels three and above extensive background checks on anyone hired, and Tim knew exactly where to look.

-

[“Like I said, terrifying.”]

[“You do the same thing.”]

[“That’s a bit above my paygrade, usually I ask Tim for help when I need information from behind top-of-the-line security walls.”]

[“Oh.”]

[“Yeah.”]

-

Next was invasion of personal privacy and property, and a lot of it. You’d have felt worse if it weren’t for having been raised this way, “you’ll find out that people are just that, some sick and twisted, some happy and kind-hearted, but in the end, we’re all the same. Eventually, nothing will surprise you,” your father would say.

It didn’t take long, going through a few lockers and purses, letting your glasses do most of the work. They were able to see in a three-dimensional matrix, constantly being constructed behind most any material or metal. There were plenty of lab coats in varying sizes to choose from, and you spotted one badge and wondered who the dumdum was. You had plenty of electromagnetic strips for your ID if you needed a switch, but it seemed unnecessary. Some people left their everything when they clocked out, too.

You’d secured your purse around your stomach and under your shirt, the bulge flattened at your side, tying the ends in place. It would uncomfortably dig into you, but you couldn’t leave it behind and it would only be for a short time.

No one had paid you any mind, too busy rushing to get in and out of the locker rooms, and you made to escape with a group of women in the same coats as yourself. The group and yourself came to an elevator, and you let them do all the work. One of them scanning their ID for the group, the rest blurting out the number of the floor they needed to get to, and yourself joining in. A strange calm settling as you got more into the coworker attitude.

Seventh level Research and Development wing.

-

[“Not his office?”]

[“Why?”]

[“I dunno, there’s probably some terrible top-secret info in there.”]

[“I mean, I was on the main R&D floor, how much more top secret can you get?”]

[“Touché.”]

-

The entire R&D area was made up of floor to ceiling glass window dividers, a white and chromatic color scheme, and a lot of tightly sealed doors. You honestly didn’t even need the glasses to find the head researcher’s office, it was written in huge bold letters next to the dumb door on a plaque.

Weaving through a few people with their eyes busy reading clipboards and cellphones, you eyed each inch of the floor, and wondered if the other stock standard R&D floors at LexCorp were similar. No one paid you any mind as you stood in front of the group of office doors, all packed neatly in a little corner, and each leading to a different R&D office. They were mostly empty, only one occupied, most of the techbros and techgals were out and about doing work.

Again, the glasses did the decoding work for you, getting you the set of numbers you needed to enter the room. Unlike the rest of the lab, this office had less windows, though the few it did have were still large. Though they faced out rather than in, and it also wasn’t as large and as roomy as you’d have imagined. The Wayne R&D offices being waaay bigger in comparison.

Taking out two small flash drives, you shoved the sticks into the lone computer on the desk, booted it up, and just let them do their thing. Having the computer start with the flash drive, it acted as an executable program, letting it bypass any needed passcodes or security clearance for now.

One for unlocking the system, the other for information storage.

No doubt someone will notice that.

You wondered briefly if this was how the Cyborg felt, only ever having gotten to see him briefly before he utterly devastated an entire operating system. He then rebuilt it to his preferences, all in the matter of seconds. Tim had always lamented not getting to watch when you described it.

Notably, it was quite lovely how LexCorp’s researchers had everything organized in a folder subsystem so well. You were able to track down the needed information in less than a few minutes through the root directory.

Gotta be faster.

However, as you stared at the processing bar on your information download, there wasn’t a whole lot to do. Clicking the monitor’s sleep button to dim any light, you stood up and strode over to the door.

Being the lookout for a computer program was a new one.

-

[“Pfff.”]

[He snickered behind his palm as you smacked him on the shoulder.]

[“At least you got in without needing to hack anything yourself. Get dunked on, Dick, Damian.”]

[Light laughter echoed.]

-

Nothing had happened by the time the computer let out a small ding, indicating the download had finished. With both flash drives now pocketed, you turned to the next problem: getting out.

It really shouldn’t have been that hard, it was so stupidly easy to get in, thank you new temporary coworkers, but as you eyed the group of security detail by the elevator, you made a hard turn to the side.

Had you gone through the front doors instead of the employee entrance, you would have seen a ton of security. Through the back however, they really were only at certain check points, it’s not like just anyone could get in. So of course, there was no way they would have been able to get so far as the head office of any department.

How long had you been gone from the others? How long did you still have on Tim’s encryptions?

Oh heck.

The options were now trying to squeeze by the security, which was doubtful, they were checking everyone, or figure out a way to base jump without any gear. Neither option sounded appealing, you had no wings or grappling hooks with you, and it was still midday.

The corridor you turned into went from full on glass to a partition supporting windows, half and half, split horizontally to allow for more privacy, probably.

This was also exactly where you didn’t want to be.

Frick.

Most of the rooms looked like chemistry labs, charts everywhere, huge gravity convection and forced-air ovens, and thermo-freezers that looked like they belonged in meat markets. It was almost overwhelming at how cool some of these things looked as you searched for an exit. So filled with anxiety and adrenaline as you were, you almost missed it out of the corner of your eye. It was the red shimmering of a glass bowl on your face that made you notice it, the barely-there stream of sun that caught it just right.

You wasted no time getting to work, the door just as easy as the others, passcodes, they were all passcodes. Where were the fingerprint and retina scanners? Hell, where was the facial recognition scanners? You’d come prepared for so much, so you were incredibly confused at the lax security features. But again, this wasn’t the ground floor and security clearance was stricter this far in, your badge did most of the infiltration for you.

Was your dad that paranoid that now, so were you?

-

[“The civi world is full of sub-par idiots.”]

[“You sound like Dami.]

[“Gross.”]

[“…it’s uncanny, really, he said the same thing.”]

[“Shit.”]

-

The room looked similar to the others, less windows, more wall, plenty of graphs and charts, but there were a few different things as well. A few of which you pocketed; the only expensive looking laptop was also grabbed straight off a table to the side of your quarry.

The most notable thing however was glaring you boldly in the face, all black and a giant red bat on the chest.

A batsuit.

-

[“Yeah, I’m gonna want to know why baldy even had this thing.”]

[“Tim’s going through the drives right now, Dami dropped them off…”]

[“Damn.”]

-

Why did Lex have a batsuit? Where did he get it from, or did he help develop it? Terrence was part of all this, and what about your fa… the Batman? Why was Cadmus part of all this? Why was Lex? Were there more suits? More clo— children?

Shit shit shitshitshitshi—

To say you were freaking out a bit was an understatement.

Hearing heavy footsteps, you panicked and grabbed the garment from behind it’s glass case and took a dive behind the nearest desk. They hadn’t come in yet, they hadn’t gotten to this room, there was still time, but… still time to what?

You eyed the suit in your hands, it’s size horribly different from your own body type (but you could probably still fit it) and you decided to make a really dumb decision then and there.

You were gonna get caught regardless, might as well suit up and try to fight your way out. If you were lucky, you could get out of this without ruining your father’s reputation (or Batman’s identity.)

You began stripping behind the desk, fully intent on donning the batsuit. If nothing else, these things usually came with masks, even though you hadn’t seen a single one near it.

The moment you pulled the fabric over your legs, heels sliding effortlessly into the red soles, you watched almost in amazement as the fabric melted to your skin, reshaping to fit you. There was going to be a lot of bagginess in the suit when you wore it, a lot of tightness in weird places, too, and it had looked fitted to a larger male. So you hadn’t expected the suit to fit perfectly on purpose. It even had a built-in utility belt. Suddenly you were a bit giddy.

Again, what the hell was Lex Luthor doing?

“So freaking cool.”

The material felt almost like a second skin, there was also no sensory loss from wearing it, you could feel the floor as if you were barehanded.

You’d never thought about it before, but now you couldn’t take your mind off Dick and his skintight suit. You felt almost nude in this suit, not used to something showing everything off like it was.

Did Dick enjoy this?

Your ears burned brightly as you finished suiting up, no longer able to think about a large portion of superheroes and villains.

How could you ever face some of them again?

How could you ever look Dick in the eyes again?

“Oh no…”

Perverts. All of them.

-

[Loud laughter.]

[A very red face.]

-

You had to admit though, it was so much cooler than your heavier and bulkier recon gear. It didn’t weigh you down and the sensory adaptation was something you’d never come across before. Speaking of, reaching up, you took the glasses off to get a clear view of your surroundings and immediately regretted it.

The suit seemed to come to life on it’s own as something came out of nowhere, engulfing your head in complete darkness.

A silent scream, too terrified to let out any sound.

You about died then and there.

The suit wasn’t that cool anymore.

Without missing a beat and calming your fears of being bagged or worse, the darkness faded, and you could see your surroundings. Blinking for a moment to adjust, you tried to get your bearings on what the hell just happened, your hand gingerly coming up to feel your face.

[Booting...]

Were you hearing things or did the suit just...?

Unfortunately, that was the exact moment the door to the room you were in opened, and you panicked. It was a dead-end room, you weren’t as good at fighting as your brothers, and the security here could be scary when hunting down an intruder.

Stupid Lex.

Without thinking, you grabbed your things now bundled up in the labcoat like a bag, slung it over your shoulder, and bolted towards one of the windows looking out.

You were so used to recon jobs that you hadn’t taken into consideration that you had none of your gear (but your brothers did this kind of stupid thing constantly, so you’d be okay, right?).

You were too caught up in the moment.

You hadn’t heard the sound, mind too blank, but the glass falling around you was enough indication of just what you had done.

Base jumping it was.

You were in a batsuit, after all. 

Falling seven stories was terrifying, but definitely brought you back to reality. Securing the makeshift bag on your back, tied around your neck, you began thinking as fast as you could. Claws? The suit had them, you had noticed, but you were too far from the building, having jumped a distance, then... The suit had a built-in utility belt, right? Maybe there was something useful in one of the —

[Servo-Motors engage…]

[Checking system function…]

[Loading protocol…]

…huh?

[84 feet till impact.]

…wait—

[75 feet till impact.]

“Yeah I see that.”

[71 feet till impact.]

“Thanks.” Sarcasm, “What else can you tell me other than my unfortunate demise at the hands of gravity?”

[Thrusters not online.]

[68 feet till impact.]

[Grappling gun unavailable.]

[Batarang lines unavailable.]

[67 feet till impact.]

[Retractable wings availa—]

“Yes, that one, wings, please! Wait… thrusters?” you had little time as your whole body suddenly started tumbling, a set of red wings expanding between your arms and the sides of your torso. “Shitshitsh—” and then you were gliding, your arms having spread on their own from the force of the fall. “Oh… Oh my…”

The suit was cool again, “Dang this is… nice… Like a bird or… him.” You reeeaaallllly didn’t want to chance him hearing you say his name.

You wanted to try this higher up now, in a sea of clouds… It was like floating, an almost weightless feeling taking over. The wind currents were a bit to get used to, but it wasn’t terrible, having imagined it would be worse higher up, in them dang fluffy clouds... sigh.

[23 feet till landing.]

The suit helped guide you to an area with less people, something akin to your own Gotham alleyways (to a point, Metropolis’ worst streets were like Gotham’s safest ones). The small alley that led to several businesses’ back doors was rather clean, and there weren’t many places to hide. The best you could do was a growing shadow next to an empty dumpster.

“Alright then…” you sighed aloud, hands doing their best to find any seam in the suit, and after a few minutes, your—

[Heart rate at 142bpm.]

[Heart rate rising.]

[Blood pressure at—]

“—No kidding,” you thought, mind racing, and unfortunately, there wasn’t a single seam on the suit.

Anxiety was building in your chest,

“Frick.”

-

[“Wait, the suit talks?”]

[“I think it has an OS on it? I haven’t tried the cowl since…”]

[“You should.”]

[“…Nnnn”]

-

“Why do you look like Nightwing?” All you did was take the clothes from Damian and began to dress yourself over the suit, not certain at all on what you could say to this situation. You’d called Damian the moment you lucked out and made the cowl… come off?, and in his eagerness to leave Jon behind, he showed up quickly.

“You will tell me,” he was sounding just like dad.

“Dami, I uhm…”

“…I won’t tell father.” he could deduce a few things this pertained to, including but not limited to the child you had brought home, and how you avoided Bruce.

You could only sigh and nod at him, resigned. You really hope this didn’t come back to bite you in the bottom.

“What are you two doing?”

The clothes you had couldn’t cover most of the suit, the clothes Damian had brought you were able to do just that. Strangely, you weren’t feeling overheated, even though you looked like you were ready for cold weather.

“Ah, Jon.”

“You look silly.”

“…thanks.”

[“…”]

[”...”]

-

“Nightwing? Screw that brat.”

“Please don’t speak like that…” you sighed, your head in your hands.

He just huffed in annoyance, “I wear the colors better,” he muttered, “it sounds like a lot, what's your next plan of action?”

You let yourself slump forwards as he pulled you into a side-hug, arm slung over your shoulders, “it’s this suit. I can’t get it off, and—"

BAM

You and Jason about had twin heart attacks.

Without missing another fraction of a second, the larger male was on his feet, flipping over the back of the couch ready to attack before he swore at the sight in front of him. Striding over to the table in two long steps, “What the hell, Terry.” He haphazardly picked the kid up, a red helmet falling on the table with a clang, and turned to you, “your kid just tried to kill us, you realize.”

Having slid to the ground out of need to instantly roll to the side, you stopped, staring at the smoking gun that’d been pushed off the table, lying on the floor near you. Your eyes then shifting to the hole in the safehouse’s wall, “Uhm… The safety…”

He just snorted, “I don’t always have it on.” He wasn’t great at taking care of himself, sadly. You did your best with your busy schedule and budgeted time constraints, but when he wasn’t here, he easily fell into old habits.

“Please don’t let the demon spawn near him.”

“Please keep the damned safety on your guns.”

-

Batman was straining so hard that it looked like he was in the middle of a fight, an obvious aura of unrest around him.

“Whoa, you gonna punch yourself in the face? Wait, wait a minute, I gotta…” Batman groaned, irritated as a red blur came into the room, jabbered on too quickly, then took his phone out and pointed it at the big bat.

“Okay, I’m recording now, do it!”

It took a moment as Batman thought, rubbing his temples.

“I trained my kids too well,” at that, Flash put his phone down, tilting his head in confusion, “and that’s… bad?” He looked up at the League’s computers in front of him, noting the blinking [[ALERT ALERT ALERT]] off to the side.

“Because,” Batman reasoned, “I have to deal with them,” he ground out, glaring at the sign of intrusion.

“Ooooh, your kids hacked into the system again, huh?” Flash let out a low whistle, clearly amused by Batman’s misfortunes. Batman did his best to ignore the red nerd, calling on Cyborg to assist him, even though he had already been on his way, noticing it moments prior.

“Family, amirite?”

Batman said nothing in response,

Tim almost got away with it.

Almost.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

What’s Downey’s perspective of the events of Feet of Clay and Jingo?

I’m assuming we’re talking Downey from Thus Always/Mask etc.

Maybe one day I’ll write some stuff from those books from Downey’s POV which is mostly “shitshitshit gotta keep the Guild going and my students safe” in Jingo. 

For Feet of Clay he’s like “wow it’s arsenic poisoning how has no one figured this out yet? Let me chuck arsenic at Vimes face, literally, and hope he makes the connection to the candle. Oh my god i wrote a paper about this form of poisoning once. Gods people are dumb.” Also more “I can be chill with kings so long as I have power on the council and the Guild remains safe.” 

Slightly more serious thoughts (for a given value of serious). 

Feet of Clay: 

So Guild!Hat Downey is doing his balancing act where he is trying to make sure the Assassins’ Guild lands on its feet no matter which way things go. Does Vetinari die and they get a king? Better make sure I’ve said Vive le Roi at least once in the presence of someone else. Does Vetinari live and we continue on as before? Better make sure alcohol was involved in that Vive le Roi moment for plausible deniability. 

William A. Downey, Assassin is dealing with a lot of Emotions. Sort of like how he felt about Mericet in that fic i wrote recently. Where it’s like “I don’t necessarily like you but I’ve known you my entire life and now you might die” and it’s very much a person Downey never really considered capable of dying. So he’s on a roller coaster there. 

I have a headcanon that he, being sneaky sneaky, managed to get past the Watch to visit Vetinari early on into the poisoning. He poked him, inspected his eye balls, temperature, nervous response to stimuli (poked the bottom of his feet etc.) and was like “Yup, Arsenic.” And the only cure for arsenic poisoning is to stop taking it. 

Anyway, he was despairing of everything because the whole nobby as king thing appalled him on a personal level of “that man has No Class or Grace” which is Downey’s Thing. So he was like, Well Vimes is fucking stupid as shit, gotta give him a wake up call. So when the others came to him with that scheme to frame Vimes Downey was like “good, an opportunity to fling a Clue at his dumb mug” which he did and then was punched. 

Jingo: 

Guild!Hat Downey is a bit in panic mode because this is a real Threat and he has several hundred students whose lives are in his hands and he has a duty to keep them safe. He also has a duty to protect the members of the guild. I’m sure he was fucking Pissed when Vetinari ducked out with no word to go on his undersea adventure with Leonard. 

It would have been reminiscent of Snapcase’s time when Downey had to stay and work and survive and Vetinari scooted off on his tour and got shagged by some 600 year old vampire. And while I’m sure there’s an underlying part of him that figured Vetinari was up to something, there is no guarantee in life, so again - hedging the bets.

Had AM lost the war/non-war I don’t know if Downey would have put up a fight or capitulated in the hopes that it would save more lives at the Guild. Assassins might trade in death, but unlike soldiers and generals, they understand and value the worth of the human life. 

Also this is the headmaster who wrote in the yearbook that his door is always open to his students. He clearly cares. 

William A. Downey, Assassin is just like ‘Fucking Dog-Botherer what the Fuck are you up to I am going to REAM YOU OUT when you get back leaving me here again when everyone COULD DIE ANY MINUTE gods. Useless man.’ 

I do think the Handcuff scene made him “.....huh…..didn’t expect that to interest me but here we are.” So you’re welcome for that. 

In the end, Downey likes stability. He likes things to trundle along with minimal disruption or havoc. He grew up under Winder and Snapcase, incredible political and social instability, no real functioning legal system, limited law and order, very Every Man For Himself. And I think that does influence his belief in the importance of Social Rules and Mores because that is what held things together more than a legal or justice system. It was people doing The Done Thing that kept daily life going. 

Of the city councillors Downey isn’t the most disruptive or rebellious, he has his moments but it’s usually in the middle of a Situation and he feels there needs to be an action of some kind in order to bring back stability. In the end, I think he is content with Vetinari as Patrician and just wants life to be relatively gentle and calm.

[pixierobinwrites]

Some Day [Jason Todd x Reader]

Being with Jason Peter Todd was a roller coaster. It was full of excitement, terror and some times more pain than you thought you could take (but god it was worth it). You got used to keeping up with him, leaping from roof to roof, hiding in the shadows, sensing when something was about to get bad. Being a vigilante with The Red Hood was a whole different ordeal than having been the small time vigilante you'd started out as. You hadn't been sure if it was really worth it at first, the first time he had a breakdown, when his PTSD hit and you didn't know what to do- you had found yourself wondering what you'd gotten into.

When the Pit Madness flared up and Jason's pretty jade eyes turned poison green, his plans and actions frantic and erratic. It was terrifying, scary, and taking him down off the high could be a full time job. There were times when you needed to ask Roy for help, because calling in anyone from the Bat Clan was sure to lead to a worse flare.  

It was when it came down from it that you got reminded why you were there with him. Why you'd left your city to join Jason on his increasingly dangerous missions, to support him in his goals and plans. Why you were so drawn to the black sheep of the Bat Clan. When he was soft and sweet, too tired from the rush of panic or rage, and he'd lay on the couch or bed, and let you card your fingers through his hair. When he'd only allow careful touches and contact, afraid of the threat that could be so easily posed by anyone who might be close to him, but still let you in.

And now, in moments like this. Nights like this were the most amazing ones, and pressed how deeply you loved him.

After a horrible couple of nights dealing with his mental issues, trying to get him back on his meds and helping him calm down, Jason had come back to the Narrows. The Bat Clan hadn't yet said a thing over the comms, though Jason assured you they knew you were both there. He made no attempt to contact them, instead focusing on the task he'd chosen.

A group of kids, all dressed in tattered, worn clothes, dirty from life on the streets or in homes that only offered neglect, tentatively letting the famous Red Hood get close. There were only a few, no more than five, you thought from your spot on a fire escape. A few feet away a big, burly man, lay on the ground. He wasn't dead, you could see him breathing. But he likely wouldn't be for too long. Jason had found him trying to drag a struggling child into the back of a van.

Now, Jason cradled that child in his arms, while others came slowly from their hiding spot. Jason, big, burly, I'll shoot you as soon as I look at you, Todd crouched in the alley way, holding a child, and offering him a protein bar. Spoke in soft words, and coaxed other kids out. He'd be there a while too, you could tell, already planning on where to take the kids. Somewhere safe that wouldn't try to trap them like most orphanages would in Gotham.

No one wants poor kids, unless they can do somethin' for 'em. He'd told you once, and it broke you to hear it from him. Knowing why he believed so deeply in something so horrible.

Eventually, Jason managed to coax the kids into following him. He took them to an orphanage that he'd looked into a lot ages ago. You'd caught him doing some pretty in depth research on it, checking all the credentials, staking out to watch it every time you were in Gotham for longer than a week. They'd be taken in, given warm food and beds to sleep in, and hopefully would stay long enough to get help.

It left you with the asshole on the ground, but you couldn't begrudge Jason that. Not with how soft he looked with a group of children around him. One holding the edge of his jacket as if Red Hood was a savior- something he likely was to kids like these, another pressed in close to his side, feeding off his warmth. You left them go, watching from your hidden place in the shadows and only dropping down to the dirty ground when they were out of sight.

“I'll take care of the jackass. Meet you back at base after.”

No response came from the comms, but you knew he'd heard you. The line was good, and you trusted him to show up before dawn. A swift kick to the asshole on the ground's side, getting a rough groan in response but nothing else. Humming, you pulled a few zip ties from your pocket and got to work stringing him up. If Jason came back to deal with him later, it was no skin off your back, though you knew the Bats would have a problem with it. Still, you took a quick snap shot of him and sent the image, as well as the location and quick details to Spoiler. Let her deal with it. Hopefully before Jason got back.

Leaving the brute to whoever found him first, you headed back to the safe house Jason had chosen this time. It was on the outskirts of the city, on the opposite side of Gotham from the direction of Wayne Manor. Away from the places tourists might spend their time, from the rich people who liked to pretend everything was relatively perfect in their city.

It took two hours for Jason to join you. By then, you had gotten out of your uniform, showered and changed for bed. Jason had blood on his gloves, whether from where he'd first punched the bastard out, or from going back and finishing the job, you didn't ask. It was better not to know sometimes. Either way, he looked tired when he pulled off his helmet, and set it on the table, and barely remembered to shrug out of his gloves and jacket before he was on you.

Large warm arms around you middle, his face to your stomach, Jason settled over your legs on the bed, burying his face, and hiding from from the world. His hair was a mess and the domino mask he wore under his helmet was askew. Brushing your fingers through his hair, and tracing soft, careful touches along the back of his neck caused him to melt into you.

“You know...” You started, voice soft so as not to startle him, “I had a really odd thought earlier tonight.”

You didn't really expect him to do or say anything to respond, usually like this he was fairly nonverbal for an hour or so, just enough time for him unwind. Jason was always full of surprises though, and your shock must have shown on your face, because when he tilted his head to look up at you through his lashes, and gave a soft, “Hm?” his lips pulled into an amused smirk at the way you blinked down at him owlishly.  When you were quiet for too long, he coaxed you on, 

“What were you thinking earlier?”

Carefully, you reached down to pull the domino mask from his face, gentle as it peeled free, leaving bit of residue from the special glue he used to keep it on. His eyes were so impossibly green, not the dangerous neon green from the pit, but a soft watery green that made you think lakes in summer. Tracing your fingers from his temple down to his jaw, it was easy to smile and almost get lost in his gaze.

The soft sound of your name on his lips brought your train of thought back from his eyes.

“I was thinking... not now, I know things are not good for it now... but some day, if you wanted to... You'd be a great father.”

The tension in the air was suddenly palpable, Jason went stock still, tense. You felt your heart sink into your stomach, worry welling up. Had it been the wrong thing to say? Would it set him off? You wanted to take the words back, no matter how true you believed in them. When you opened your lips to apologize, he moved. It was easy to forget how quick Jason could be, with his size and bulk, but from one second to the next, he pushed up, his lips suddenly against yours.

It was softer than the kisses you usually shared after rough nights, something warm immediately washing away the anxiety that had set on so quickly. Rough fingers brushed against your arm and pulled you to lay with him, rolling your bodies until your legs were tangled, and he hold you close. His suit was not comfortable, kevlar against your skin rubbed wrong, and his pants were full of dangerous weapons, but still, it was nice to be held.

“Some day, maybe.” He told you, voice low and tinged with uncertainty, but enough warmth that you relaxed fully into him.

Some day might be nice.

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[tabloidtoc]

Globe, September 7

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Tucker Carlson -- TV’s most hated host -- misogynistic and racist spawn of Satan

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Kylie Jenner, Brandi Glanville washes a car, Tekashi 6ix9ine goes shopping in L.A. 

Page 3: Matt LeBlanc wears a mask, Halle Berry, Shia LaBeouf points his fingers together 

Page 4: Love-hungry Christie Brinkley is on the prowl for a new man and the younger the better, Madonna threw a wild week-long 62nd birthday for herself in Jamaica and brought along a boatload of weed 

Page 5: Miley Cyrus has confessed why she’s been a wrecking ball to her male loves is because she prefers women in the sack and always has 

Page 6: Self-proclaimed crusaders for female empowerment Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are being slammed for making a deal with the devil by buying a sprawling $14.6 million mansion from a Russian moneybags who’s accused of wifebeating 

Page 7: Demanding Meghan Markle is trying to secretly worm her way back into Tinseltown as a producer and wants to bring henpecked husband Prince Harry along for the ride -- the two have been quietly pitching a project in closed-door meetings with top Hollywood executives including some of former actress Meghan’s connections from her stint on Suits 

Page 8: Newly discovered photos reveal murdered pedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s $22 million private jet the Lolita Express was a flying pleasure palace -- the luxury Boeing 727 carried up to 29 passengers and was specially outfitted so guests could have sex with gorgeous stewardesses and masseuses who were often underage teens 

Page 10: Steamed Sharon Stone had harsh words for folks who don’t wear masks during the pandemic blaming them for her sister getting COVID who’s hospitalized and fighting for her life, Angelina Jolie’s surprise move to get the judge booted from her divorce battle with Brad Pitt was triggered by her desire to pack up their six kids and split to a snooty suburb in England -- she wants to move to the wealthy Richmond area in southwest London which she believes in a perfect environment for the kids from an educational standpoint and culturally 

Page 11: Star Wars hunk Ewan McGregor’s angry ex-wife Eve Mavrakis has struck back and captured a big chunk of his estimated $45 million fortune and half the royalties from several of his hit flicks and TV shows -- Ewan was taken to the cleaners in California divorce court after trading in Eve for a younger hottie his Fargo co-star Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Wendy Williams has finally dumped the New Jersey home she shared with ex-husband Kevin Hunter but she took a bath on the sale unloading the home for $1.4 million after the couple had paid $2.1 million for it in 2008 

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- Jay Leno takes his 1957 Chevrolet Corvette for a spin (picture), Sharon Osbourne and husband Ozzy Osbourne will be spilling decades’ worth of titillating tales in a tell-all flick about their roller-coaster marriage, Busy Philipps is blabbing personal details about her young daughter Birdie’s first bra but it could have something to do with her new deal to plug bras for a well-known national brand, Britney Spears popped up on social media to answer quickie fan queries like what’s your favorite fragrance and she answered Tom Ford apparently forgetting that she’s actually put her name on a signature line of 28 fragrances in conjunction with Elizabeth Arden, Drew Barrymore turned a walk-in closet into a culinary library and reads three cookbooks a week cover to cover 

Page 13: Giada De Laurentiis running errands in L.A. (picture), Blac Chyna in a Hollywood sex toy shop (picture), Fred Dryer wears a mask (picture), Cheryl Tiegs lived right next door to the mansion pictures in the Beverly Hillbillies 

Page 14: Weeks after undergoing an operation to remove her breast implants Chrissy Teigen complained her natural boobs were still too huge and was considering making them smaller and then came a surprise pregnancy announcement, it doesn’t sound like Sharon Stone will throw rocks in her upcoming memoir The Beauty of Living Twice because she says she has learned to forgive the unforgivable, Fashion Verdict -- Olivia Munn 8/10, Melissa Gorga 9/10, Kelly Clarkson 3/10, Regina Hall 2/10 

Page 16: Elvis Presley didn’t have to die -- autopsy proves surgery on his clogged colon could have saved the King 

Page 19: 10 Things You Don’t Know About Gayle King, Hilary Swank turned her back on Hollywood for three years to care for her ailing father after his lung transplant and she has no regrets, Lady Gaga admits she wrestles with her mental issues by taking anti-psychotic medication 

Page 20: True Crime 

Page 23: Frenzied talk queen Ellen DeGeneres has ousted three top producers from her gabfest in a last-ditch bid to keep her job after being rattled to the bone by backstage scandals 

Page 24: Cover Story -- Tucker Carlson of Fox News 

Page 26: Health Report 

Page 29: Head-over-heels Ben Affleck got a great 48th-birthday present from his girlfriend Ana de Armas -- a custom BMW motorcycle built from scratch just for him and he immediately took Ana for a spin with both of them wearing color-coordinated green helmets with white trim to match the new bike, Dennis Quaid found the purr-fect pet -- a Virginia shelter cat named Dennis Quaid, former talk host Tavis Smiley is learning that if you play you have to pay as a court has ordered him to shell out a whopping $2.6 million to the PBS network for sexually preying on women workers, golf legend Tiger Woods carried his son Charlie’s golf clubs at a junior tournament where the 11-year-old blew away the competition 

Page 30: Music icon Jimi Hendrix was rock’s greatest guitarist and lover bedding countless gals before his early death at age 27 a shocking new book claims -- some of Jimi’s lovers named in the book include Brigitte Bardot, Janis Joplin and the blond photographer who would later become Linda McCartney, horndog Harry Hamlin knocked up Bond girl Ursula Andress during their very first hookup claims his wife Lisa Rinna 

Page 38: Real Life

Page 44: Mike Tyson and Roy Jones Jr. slug-fest hits below the belt 

Page 45: Former daytime TV dynamo Sally Jessy Raphael is devastated by the death of her husband of 57 years Karl Soderlund

Page 47: Hollywood Flashback -- Michael Keaton in 1988′s Beetlejuice, Bizarre But True 

[gothamcitylazarus]

use somebody ;

Jason was going to tell Roy about the baby, but he decided not to after talking on the phone with him. He wasn’t ready to tell Roy about it, and he was sure that Roy wasn’t ready to hear about it. Besides, he had only told Bruce, and he had no plans to tell anyone else—it wasn’t a reality he was quite ready to face yet, and he didn’t want to make Roy face it with him when they were already on shaky ground.

It was stupid of Jason to have run away the way that he did. It was cowardly, and it was what Jason always did—he was always running away and he was always pushing his problems outside, and now, it was coming to bite him in the ass. He knew that it was only going to get messier from here, with things with Meg and a baby and having to deal with his own issues before the baby got here so he could at least try to not fuck the kid up—

It was a lot to think about.

He already knew that he was going to be going back to therapy, but the rest of it, he wasn’t so sure about. Jason had quit taking the meds that had managed to keep him level before everything with the Joker happened, and since then, he had been on a roller coaster—he hadn’t been able to even think straight for longer than a few days before the mood swings came back, before the depression hit, before the numbness washed over his body. He didn’t know how to explain that to Roy.

That was why he was writing it all down, so, worse comes to worse, he’d just read off the paper in his hands, and that would be that. He had a bottle of wine next to him, half drunk—he had wasted no time in getting some alcohol in his system after hearing the sound of Roy’s voice—and on his lap, sitting on top of a book of photography that Jason had been thumbing through earlier, was two or three pages of handwritten notes that he was scribbling out and making adjustments to so that he could say wha the wanted to say without it coming out a jumbled mess.

Still, Jason wasn’t ready when the door opened, and sitting on the floor behind the couch, he considered bolting again. He didn’t think he was ready for this. He didn’t think he ever would be. He took another swig straight from the bottle next to him. 

“I’m back here, Roy.”

@arsxnalroy

[closseyc-blog]

Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue

DRUGS ARE BAD MMMK!

Now I remember a time when every kids hero in the late 80's and early 90's was telling them not to do drugs. I from time to time will watch these and laugh, they are corny for the most part, but because they really don't educate you about why pot is bad. They tell you that pot can ruin your life, you'll lose your family, you won't do good in school etc. But for me personally, pot isn't the worse drug on the planet, not by a long shot. Yet people fear it could lead to other drugs. Though I personally never had the need to do hardcore drugs because I've seen it in my life to know better, people have this fear that pot is the gateway drug. While some studies believe this isn't the case, others have seen this happen. Me, I'll just drink wine (the drink that can cause liver damage, totally legal!)

I know I'm suppose to be reviewing something here. I just wanted to make a point of how anti-pot messages were ingrained in us ever since we were a kid. Yet the message I feel as we have grown really isn't as well thought out or as clear as it could of been. There are a ton of drugs out there, yet we don't know what to do if we see a drug. We need a team of cartoons from my childhood and Alf in drawing form to teach children about the evil of pot! You know what for fun let's just throw former president George H.W Bush and first lady Barbara in the mix (because kids love old people talking about their favorite cartoon characters, trying to be hip). With that we have the classic fail of the anti drug message, Cartoon All Stars To The Rescue. I remember the first time hearing about this I seriously thought it was fake. I never heard of this before, all of my favorite cartoons from my childhood getting to together in one epic special. Damn this is every kids dream. Then you start the movie and oh boy it's not a special I wanted at all.

It starts with a message from the Bush's basically giving a spoiler as to what you're about to see (geez George way to ruin the show). You know it's a bad sign when an old man is telling you that you're favorite cartoons are about to give you a life lesson. The cartoon starts with the Smurfing Smurfs. I'm not going to lie I'm not a big Smurfs fan, so who cares about Papa Smurfs smurfing up coke . Papa Smurf notices a little girl's( Corey) piggy bank and alerts all the town. Then a picture frame of Alf (who the fuck has a picture of Alf framed is beyond me) comes to life and tells a lamp of Garfield to help or he'll eat him (Oh the eating oh domestic house pets such a child memory). Soon  Alvin and the Chipmunks,  Winnie The Pooh and Muppet Babies Kermit the Frog all wake up Corey to show her that her piggy bank is missing. She finds it in her brother Michael's room who is classic drug addict stereotype, stealing money from her little sister's piggy bank.  This is where I never thought I would hear my favorite cartoon characters say the words, Marijuana and Drugs. I don't want to live in a world where my cartoons have drugs in their universe (though I have a feeling most of the writers of these shows were on drugs when writing this special).

Michael has a sick kick in the form of a smoke (voiced by George C. Scott, which is the most shocking thing about this special) basically being the bad guy getting him to do all these drugs. His character is basically devil on your shoulder saying keep doing drugs, DO IT! Bug Bunny takes him back to the past to show him how he started, which is the basic story of kid asks Michael you want to get high, sure! This was a classic tactic used to how drugs addict start their addiction. Not from a doctor prescribing them pills that they shouldn't be, not seeing their parents do this when they were younger, or dealing with a problem and seeing how the affects made them feel better without truly solving anything. Though yes most people do start smoking pot because they see others do it and they want to be included but is not the only way that drug use starts, and it's sad how they never really address this.

They look into Michael's brain as if it were a fun roller coaster (because everyone hates roller coaster especially  kids) While you can make the argument that they make the ride scary, who hasn't left a ride that was scary saying wow that ride made me look at my life a different way. There isn't a clear message as to what drugs can do to your brain, as far as brain damage or nerve damage. It's just scary clouds and ghost looking figures. Yes dealing with drugs to deal with problems is not good, but you can't just say that by saying you go up like a fun roller coaster, without showing what it can do to your body.

Then the most annoying part of this special, they sing. They sing about saying no to drugs. Yes my favorite slogan just say NO! Instead of giving Michael advice on how to get off drugs like talk to an adult, go to a teacher or seek help from a professional, nope saying no is the magical way to stop drugs from coming. I've been to parties and offered things, I do say no and they don't harass you like they do in most shows or commercials. So I guess it is magically!

The rest of the special shows Micheal his future if he continues to do drugs. Though they aren't specific about what drugs  he would be on in the future, he looks like a zombie (which I'm sure is the disease from the Walking Dead, so there the disease turns him into a walker). This is my problem, drugs work different and the side effects are different. If you're going to generalize all drugs having the same effects, you're dumbing down your message. They just show him looks terrible, you don't see if he possibly becoming homeless, getting a disease from sharing needles, show him losing his family and friends leaving him alone, losing job after job from his addicting, showing him going to jail. There are so many ways to show the real horrors of drug abuse.

The end shows Micheal stopping his sister Corey from using his drugs and he goes to talk to his parents about what he's been doing. And instead of the show ending show a number (it was the early 90's so they didn't have a website yet) they show Executive  Producers Roy Disney! I'm not going to lie this upset me the most. Most shows that had a serious message, they would at the end of the episode show you a number you can call if you need help with that specific problem they dealt with in that episode. Full House did it when they addressed Child Abuse, Disney's Doug (even that shitty of a show) did it when they addressed Eating Disorders. This show which has a lot of children's favorite cartoon character talking about a serious issue and they end it with a stupid song and credits. They do show a number, but not until the end of the credits.

You can see why this show is flawed. I get it the message they were trying to give, but it fell into the so lame and not well researched. I wish they would of showed kids a more serious tone with this. Yes I know cartoons aren't the best way to show this, but you know what is, showing real life people dealing with this. It something you can't take lightly. I mean I see people smoke pot all around me, you think these messages got through to kids back then, hell no. But you know why I don't do drugs, because I try to educate myself on what drugs can really do to you. I watch shows like Invention, read articles on the pain killers effecting communities, hell I even read Facebook posts by people saying how another person that went to my high school died of a drug overdose. This is why messages like these fail, we don't show the reality of what drugs can do to a person. They just say drugs are bad, they ruin your life... ok yes but how? I see anti- cigarette ads that show what smoking does to your body and I see that and I say no way I want that. No matter how gruesome, how horrible, how sad drugs can be, we need to show this to kids.

I'm going to end this blog like this show should of ended by giving a couple of websites you can visit if you or someone you know has a problem. Don't be afraid to help a loved one.

https://www.drugabuse.gov/related-topics/treatment/what-to-do-if-you-have-problem-drugs-adults

http://drugabuse.com/library/how-to-help-a-drug-addict/

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/addictions/drug-abuse-and-addiction.htm

https://addictiontosobriety.com/addiction-treatment-options/?utm_source=g&utm_campaign=g38&utm_medium=c&utm_content=01494A00001&gclid=Cj0KEQjwnPLKBRC-j7nt1b7OlZwBEiQAv8lMLNWKLlWnYVwas06czDv_jX1Xjq-DBAMaWN-Ju9PyZsEaAvuT8P8HAQ