#adhd survival

[bigfatbreak]

Hello I love your art!!! I was reading through your changeling au and Felix mentions that fae are creatures of mirth. They literally need attention to survive. But what kind of attention? I guess I'm wondering because Adrien has been in the public eye for a while now, but has been personally neglected for even longer. What does that mean for him? Is he starving? Is he in danger of dying? Does he even know it? (I assume not given he doesn't even know he's Fae).

If he is starving / in danger of starving who is the first to realize this?

it depends on the mirth, on the attention, on what it is they seek. Without making things too complicated - I don't like to define everything into neat little boxes after all, there's fun in nuance - Felix is just explaining from his experience, the Fae he was with tended to be "entertained" by certain aspects of their playing, which was the mirth that kept them relevant. Relevancy more than anything is really what keeps their wheels greased.

In Adrien's case though, the reason he's cloying for so many names and to have so many thralls and attendants is because he SHOULD be a more social creature and has been kept woefully alone. He is kinda starving in the way a fae starves - he's relevant, but only in an image his father constructs OF him, which means it isn't REALLY him - and he has no one to play with. No friends, no lovers, and no rivals, makes a very sad fae

[tadc-survival-isles]

I need to keep Survival Isles on this blog but I keep forgetting because they are so silly--

Anyway the recent posts about the Wet Cat Trio™ on my main reminded me I had this stupid idea yesterday that I wanted to draw.

( Cryptid Jax belongs to @sunifixation and Remains Jax belongs to @rorydrawsandwrites )

The thing I'm referencing:

[theotherwesley]

Here is what I am learning: Sometimes, one finds oneself in the unenviable position of being, say, in one's 30's, looking back at work you did when you were 19, or at work from current talented 19 year olds, and thinking "wow, why is this better than the stuff I've been struggling to do during a long dry spell?" There is nothing particularly unique about being a young adult (except maybe energy/time) that makes a person good at doing stuff they're working hard at. At 19 many people, probably including yourself, were in college, amongst peers, being exposed to new things, making cross-disciplinary connections, thinking critically, practicing with the intent of improving, actively using your brain and building synapses, and ideally being encouraged to do so while in a stable environment. The missing ingredient is not Youth or Talent-- it's regular brain exercise and not trying to be creative in a vacuum. Your brain can start working out at any time, it's not stuck where it is. Read long stuff, research something that interests you, engage with a topic outside of your current level expertise that you have to work to understand, watch something older than you are, talk to someone on a regular basis, practice something without the intent to share it. Don't try to do it all overnight. Sleep on it. The flexibility comes back, I promise. It's a recovery process and works the same as any other recovery process.

[worlds-end-discotheque]

I can't get over the interaction between Harry and Kim when Harry first brings up hearing the "voices" that make up his thoughts. Kim doesn't understand, so Harry elaborates that the voices talk to him and having those conversations is how he thinks, right? And Kim's damn response is that if he needs to think he uses his notebook.

So, what I'm hearing... is that if you take away Kim's notebook, he can't think. Head empty. No thoughts. Simply not a concept to his brain. Unable to function. I want to see it happen. I want it. I want Kim suddenly just staring at his hands, wondering where the think-paper went. Where did it go? Did it vanish? If it vanished, where would it vanish to? Is there a place for it to go? How would it go? What were we talking about again?

Where is Harry? Does he have a think-paper? No, he doesn't think. He has voices, and he dances. So how... ;--; help

[kutsante]

I salute the troops (undiagnosed ND kids in highschool)

[taboo-delusion]

So, I just discovered something interesting.

This is a bit of a long one, so bear with me. It's important. Seriously.

I just woke up a few hours ago. My meds are starting to kick in. I was having a very serious and genuine, deep conversation (in-head) and it was... beautiful. It wasn't happy, but it was beautiful. Not the point.

Point is:

I had not had a single fucking intrusive thought today until someone made a noise in the other room.

I am so fucking PISSED OFF

Why my brain refuses to realize that intrusive thoughts CAUSED the good feeling to go away, I have no fucking idea. I've known that for almost a year now, yet my stupid fucking subconscious refuses to change anything it's doing

Before I snap my fucking android phone in half and yeet somebody's face into neptune, I thought I'd share the discovery!!!!

Basically:

MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS DID NOT START UNTIL SOMETHING STARTLED ME OUT OF FOCUS

AS I TYPE THIS, I REALIZE THAT INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS -AT LEAST FOR ADHDERS- ARE A SURVIVAL TACTIC.

Elaborating:

When you fall asleep and your heart slows too much, your body does the falling thing to make sure you're still alive.

It's not that intrusive thoughts are *Just* because your brain gets too quiet, It's because your life has never been completely quite before, or -like me- the few times it is quiet, something interrupts. And even if it doesn't piss you off, even if you don't jump like I do, your brain still registers it as not safe.

--

Falling asleep, heart slows a lot-

Body: *Sends adrenaline just to make sure it still actually works.*

Drowning, even mostly unconscious-

Body and brain: *Hold onto that last half-breath even if it feels like you're head is going to explode.*

Going grocery shopping or talking to someone you think is cool-

Brain: *Remembers what it felt like the first time your guardian was indifferent or mean about something that made you happy or calm.*

Things around you actually get quiet-

Brain *Sends a thought you hate just to make sure you're prepared for a sudden problem.*

TDLR 1: Your brain isn't mean on purpose, It's just paranoid and still has a will to live.

Listen. I know I'm just some random dude from a weird blog. But I'm trying to translate, to assist. Maybe somebody else needs this realization as much as I do. I apologize for the yelling earlier. I'm still just as upset, but only at my dumbass subconscious. Now some time has passed, and I have regained self-control.

(I also apologize for the above paragraph, my brain nags for me to do this, but I can't remember why. So:)

I am no psychologist. Here are my qualifications (why you should listen to me):

As my friends call it- "Disturbingly self-aware at all times."

Paranoid Schizophrenic with actual (unrelated) OCD, with years of experience dealing with it- more healthily in recent years.

Philosophy and deep thinking is simply my default. I use metaphors, but everything in this post is entirely literal, ...except the angry threat. (*begrudgingly accepts disappointment*)

I am a fiction writer. I don't know about healing people/first aid, but I know a LOT about how anatomy works, with many deep-dives on the psychology/evolution side.

People irl generally consider me a genius? Idk how to gauge that, IQ tests are irrelevant with this type of... smart?. I've been compared to both Da Vinci and Einstein. So, ...actually that's pretty fuckin' cool- (I AM NOT TRYING TO BRAG! I APOLOGIZE IF IT COMES OFF THAT WAY! I've never put it all down like this, and I'm just surprised and questioning my reputation.)

(Also, I love playing detective, so naturally I call myself Batman XD.)

Autistic; I experience the world, and every situation, from a view without any context.

ADHD: My brain automatically -As a guardian I hate describes- "Can watch three different movies at the same time, all in fast forward, and can keep up with all of them." ... Well, yes, but technically no. Idk if other ADHD people do this, but my brain "connects the dots" so quickly, I end up laughing at jokes I've never heard before the 'punchline', because I've already figured out what you're going to say next.

Now combine all that. I am kicking depression's ass and now I want to help you do the same.

I have only mentioned the relevant things. Please keep in mind that ALL of these have both advantages and disasters. Thank you for your patience and understanding. I am running on four hours of sleep. For the love of whatever, I hope this actually helps someone other than me.

Qualifications are noted because: This is all stuff (and stuff like this) that I am just always casually aware of.

TLDR2: Even if I wasn't trying to help people feel better, Apparently I was born with a nat 20 perception/insight check, so please don't argue that I truly understand what I'm talking about here.

[pa-pa-plasma]

i believe Danny is ADHD enough to not realize he doesn't actually have super-durability but has just subconsciously learned to minimize damage as much as possible

[enbycrip]

It’s my 40th birthday today.

I am queer, neurodivergent and disabled. I am genuinely really fucking proud of myself for making it here. I genuinely never imagined seeing 40 as the undiagnosed autistic kid or the closeted-bi and nonbinary-but-don’t-even-have-words-for-that-yet teen.

Or when I was becoming seriously chronically ill and disabled due to what has turned out to be several genetic conditions a decade ago, when both my workplace and the DWP everything they could to make it as bad as those times again and threw me back into years of suicidal ideation again.

Happy birthday, me. I’m really fucking proud of you for surviving this and achieving the stuff you have. The odds are you won’t make old bones, and I’m okay with that, but let’s be around for a good while longer yet, okay?

[brainrotcharacters]

I think I finally know why this shot was a religious awakening for me

more in tags because you fuckers seem to enjoy that

[emry-stars-art]

heya, I noticed for your fic 'Stay Where I Can Reach' you tagged dissociative personality disorder and was wondering if you mean dissociative identity disorder (DID) or depersonalization/derealization disorder (DPDR)? dissociative personality disorder is not a term I'm familiar with

thanks!!

Hiiii sorry I'm late!!

Short answer: I did purposefully tag it as personality disorder rather than identity disorder! For "as per my research" reasons mainly.

Long answer: I gave Andrew a more general dissociative disorder, bc DID is its own thing that would require me to do even more research than I already have 😅 The aim wasn't to give Andrew separate parts/alters with total amnesia between them - he's still a singlet, with one identity/part in his head. It's just that the one part has dissociative symptoms like other trauma disorders, even if it's more 'intense' than in some other cases.

When I was doing this initial research I found somewhere that dissociative personality disorder is a separate disgnosis from DID/OSDD? And it described what I was going for for that Andrew? I'm not gonna say that's 100% the end all be all, because hell if I know lol you may be right! Depersonalization or derealization disorder could in fact be the real term and just I found an outdated source/misread things. I might've accidentally used an umbrella term rather than a specific diagnosis or something. I could go back and refigure out the whole thing but I gotta be honest. I don't have a lot of extra energy or space or put toward it atm, but maybe if anyone thinks its worth a re-look I might put it on my list

[baliisarda]

Cherubino's the type of child to nag you non-stop at the pool "Are you watching? Are you wa— Are you— Are you watching? I'm going to do something REALLY COOL! 🙂" just for him to do a sort of pathetic handstand

[mobblespsycho100]

kabru as a pwnpd headcanon is genuinely so iconic that man rlly is odysseus' hubristic tendencies made manifest tbh . . .

[milkflavouredpoptart]

being fixated on a show or piece of media is crazy because what do you mean I want to do something but I can't because if I don't devote all of my free time to this one fandom then I'll violently combust?

[its-isabela]

Been thinking about this for a while, but I think one of the greatest improvements you can make while having ADHD is to let go of your stigma and pride into fitting the neurotypical world. And I first noticed how important this is when I was searching stuff that can help me with my ADHD. I was taught all my life that gadgets and items like dishwashers, electric toothbrushes, etc. were for "lazy people". It took me a long time to unlearn and realize that these sayings are actually coming from a neurotypical and ableist point of view. I think you guys get it, but the point is: some of these items are actually helpful. Many of us suffer with executive dysfunction and other symptoms. Buy that roomba. Buy that salad cutter so it can help prepare your meals. Search "ADHD Friendly houses" so you can view methods and items that can help organize your lifestyle. Of course personal preference/income comes along into organizing/buying things, but there's a lot of useful stuff. Your wellbeing is more important than fitting in the neurotypical standards.

[youdontlookautistic]

Is this what it's like to trust yourself?

Since going no contact with my fam (most recently my mother), I'm suddenly in a place where I'm allowed to listen to myself. Respect myself. Trust myself.

This is a first for me. A real first.

Now when I check in with myself, it alarms me to see that I am quite probably much more disabled than I ever knew.

If I look at my entire life, my history, my day to day routine, it's obvious. But I've never ever been allowed to believe it, show it, be it. I had to be typical and independent.

It's making me see just how hard I've fought for survival. Every day. Every moment. Every decision. It even lead to homelessness. Always trying to be better but knowing deep down I can't do it.

I'd spent a decade telling my therapist "Knowing and doing are two completely different things." I thought everyone was like that.

Holy shit guys. What if I really am like, highly disabled and I've never been allowed to be it?

[why-bother-with-life]

sooo... I'm getting my adhd assessment today

I'm excited and terrified at the same time