#again too repressed to give directly

[mistninja]

Robin Hobb is crazy she makes me want to scream over an earring

[detectiveneve]

sorry I'm gonna cringepost again.

there's something I need to expel from my brain in terms of how astarion grapples and feels resentment/disgust/derision toward the concepts of heroics and ""good"" people and the way that emrys craves deeply to be good but will ultimately always fall short of the mark (in her own mind, at least) because she's too angry + too violent + too impulsive + too outraged (toward injustice, cruelty, in the world), the paladin ideal will never be met. and how when they're put together in the same room they line up to smack each other RIGHT in the thing theyre sensitive about. astarion lays out clearly the failures of the very foundations of her belief systems, makes her grapple with the things that are too extreme, whats long since become burdens to her, and she forces him to endure the fact that there are at least a few people in the world that are willing to fight with him and for others. and they're both? scrappy people, really. and go hard in the opposite directions but on the same wavelength of... interaction; both snarky, stubborn, toe to toe on everything, admirable of resilience. sort of forced together by circumstance, but completely filling in the gaps the other's got going on. it's just where he's got the lying and the charades and the bullshit and she is so Brusque and bludgeoning through at all times that the charade is moot. completely antithetical to everything he's been doing for the last 200 yrs, which is as irritating as it can maybe be refreshing. and he makes her laugh. WHICH IS NICE.

[charcubed]

I saw Challengers earlier today and I decided to start a running doc of some of my feral thoughts in an effort to not forget what's currently marinating in my brain after my first watch

I want this movie to get a long theatrical release/run because it deserves it, but that's unfortunate because I also NEED to have it accessible to me in my home ASAP so I can pull on all its threads and take screencaps. Alas.

EXTENSIVE SPOILERS BELOW

might add to this later as I remember things, idk

-The parallel of Art spitting his gum in Tashi’s hand and in Patrick’s hand… My jaw dropped soooo early on. Anyway they obviously both act as Art’s “coach” at different times in his life in different ways. (The jerking off teaching?? Scream???) Art craves their guidance and approval as a form of love (which is also directly responsible for his confidence issues) and initially likes to follow their leads in every situation

-The parallel of Tashi making out with both Art and Patrick up against cars… delicious

-Patrick’s car is his “bed” and it’s where he and Tashi fuck. Nice

-Wait now I’m sad because… lowkey Patrick is homeless because Art and Tashi are his home…………….

-The storm = Patrick and Tashi having sex = the reason why Art’s half of the giant poster/ad on the side of the building falls down so only Tashi’s side is left up. Iconic, loooove a good visual metaphor, especially shown nonlinearly

-The parallel of the forehead kisses??? Art and Patrick on the court at the start when they won the doubles, and Art and Tashi in the sad almost-sex scene towards the end??? I will throw up

-Disclaimer and reminder I’ve only seen this movie once and might reform any of these thoughts later BUT…

One of Art’s main things is, as he tells Patrick towards the start, not wanting to be “left out.” He loves and he wants both Patrick and Tashi (but he doesn’t fully want to acknowledge the extent of his want for Patrick for years, and that repression is part of his problems…). He gets “lit up” about the thought of them together not because he’s jealous of one of them but because he’s jealous of BOTH of them; he wants to know it all, he wants to be in the room, he wants to be with them both, he despairs at the thought of losing either of them (but, at the start, especially at the thought of losing or being of lesser importance to Patrick. Obviously he’s a fucking idiot as evidenced by how Patrick goes to see him FIRST at Stanford. Ugh). We see all of this at the start when Art wants to know if Tashi and Patrick fucked. We see this in Atlanta when he witnesses Tashi cheating on him with Patrick but doesn’t directly confront either of them about it; he only skates the edge of confronting it with Patrick in the sauna while also lashing out at him. Patrick tells Art at Stanford “it’s nice to see you so lit up about something, even if it’s my girlfriend” during the homoerotic churros scene because Patrick’s clocked all of this about Art, too. He clocks it further in Atlanta when he shows up to Art’s practice with Tashi and his mere presence makes Art hit the ball harder. It obviously all comes full circle; the cocktail of emotions that Patrick and Tashi being together gives Art coalesces again for him on the court in the Challengers match: Tashi’s threatened to leave him if he loses… and she’s maybe got one foot out the door with Patrick of all people, who Art already “lost” in the past as the love he’s been mourning for 13 years. But what’s important is that THIS time, unlike Atlanta, Art learns about Tashi cheating on him with Patrick not by accident but rather because Patrick actually tells him. Patrick understands the significance of how this will get Art lit up again and make him play the way he needs to for all of their sakes, and it’s fucked up, but… what this means is Patrick doesn’t leave Art out. He TELLS Art – and he tells him in a way only they understand while they’re on the court together again. Of course Art goes through several stages of emotions in response to that fucked up information… but ultimately that moment of honesty and realization between the boys is what Art needed and puts where all 3 of them stand into sharp relief, shedding a light on who they’ve all always been and what their individual needs are.

Art’s always wanted to play tennis, but that desire is framed around his relationships. Tennis is only something he truly enjoys or that fully makes him happy when he’s experiencing it through his connections to other people: he wants to impress, earn the approval of, or celebrate with those he loves who are watching (like his grandmother or Tashi) – which is partially why he wants Tashi to be his coach in the first place. And of course, tennis all began as something Art found joy in because he was always doing it with Patrick. It’s clear Patrick feels the same. At the start, neither of them cared much about winning for the sake of winning unless it was doubles because they competed as a team and that was “really fun” for them. With the singles competition, they kind of cared less about the wins at the start; Art assumed Patrick would win and didn’t care back then, and then Patrick was willing to let Art win so he could impress his family, and they were both fine with all of those sentiments. Tennis was first and foremost something they did with and for each other. As Patrick later tells Art in the sauna, “I miss playing with you” – and, of course, at that point he’s definitely not only talking about tennis. But in that final match, after so many years, Patrick and Art finally understand each other completely again. It’s like they’re in love (because they are and always have been), they go somewhere really beautiful together… etc. They finally reconnect on the court and feel that thrill as they become synchronized again, which is what tennis was always about for them.

And Tashi, who’s irrevocably connected to them both and whose primary love is and always has been the sport itself, gets what SHE’S always wanted: to “watch some good fucking tennis.” It’s why she pitted the boys against each other vying for her number at the start. Though she needs/wants both boys in different ways on an individual level, she doesn’t particularly need or want anyone to ~be in love with her~; she wants the men who are in love with her to entertain her and challenge her and give her a show. So that’s what she tries to accomplish again in the end by telling Art she’d leave him if he lost the Challengers match… but the missing piece in her making that threat – the element that would get Art truly fired up – was that she’d potentially leave Art for Patrick. That final piece of info, when Art finds out about the cheating, is what reconnects them in all of the above ways. Because it’s about all 3 of them and their triangular codependency. They’ve all been broken for 13 years because they all need each other and tennis to be fully functional. Split any of it apart and they just don’t work.

-Literally this is a film where from the moment of the injury they’re all constantly mourning. They all lose their greatest loves that day… Tashi essentially loses tennis, Art loses Patrick, and Patrick loses the two of them. Everything after that is just them being affected by how they’re all mired in various grief and feeling incomplete… until that synchronization at the match when they finally become whole again. Going from that bed scene that was breaking my heart to the final match was HEALING. Things are still fucked up and in progress, but they’re fucked up in a way they all understand, which gives them a path forward. This movie has a fiercely happy ending in that regard… and what I’m saying is that… after the match, once they communicate further, and much later down the line… Art and Patrick should go back to playing doubles and Tashi should coach them as as doubles team. God they’d eventually all be so happy I wanna CRY just thinking about them doing that. It would take them awhile to get there — because yeah, Tashi is living vicariously through Art’s career as an individual player and maybe if Art retired she’d then want to live through PATRICK’S career for awhile — but I think if they worked out their relationship then their tennis could come to reflect the needs of that relationship too, and doubles can still be “good fucking tennis” in its own satisfying right, y’know? I think they could get there and it would be a beautiful collective restart.

-I gotta say, I can't imagine Tashi pregnant. Wild to me. Sorry to their daughter. Oooo also... I think Patrick would be great with kids... when he gets to meet Lily and become "Uncle Patrick" they're gonna hit it off so fast. Help me

-*holds up Tashi watching them kiss after she orchestrated it* *holds up the Challengers match* It’s the same picture. Except the kisses were kisses whereas the match was actual sex. The moaning and grunting… I’m insane. Also Tashi’s “COME ON!!!!” is arguably the sole orgasm/climax we witness in the whole movie perhaps? Though you could argue the hug is too. In this essay I will, etc.

-Art begging for Tashi’s love/validation saying “Tell me it doesn’t matter if I win tomorrow” vs Art telling Patrick in the sauna “this is a game about winning the points that matter” / Patrick saying “I don’t matter?” AAAA oh my fucking Goddddddd I’m gonna die

-Thank you Luca Guadignino for your dedication to having Art and Patrick hold phallic drinks and food in each others’ presence. Specific shout out to Patrick at the beach party holding the beer bottle on his crotch

-Patrick = comfortable with who he is and secure in his bisexuality; honest and open Art = repressing his queerness and his overall desires Tashi = hiding who she is aka her dissatisfactions with life and the lengths she’ll go to because tennis is her true greatest love and always has been

COMPRESS, REPRESS... REPRESS, COMPRESS... AND THEN JUST SURRENDER, ONE TWO THREEEEE

-I need to rewatch to catch the dialogue because it was difficult for me to hear it over the music, but I think in the 3am Atlanta scene Tashi tells Patrick that Art’s grandmother had a stroke. IF that’s what she said (and if there’s no reason to believe it’s a lie Art told; like I said, I need to rewatch)… my immediate impression was that it’s a nod to Patrick being the voice of accuracy and prediction in this movie. Towards the beginning he tells Art (jokingly) that he hopes Art’s grandmother dies of a stroke, and that’s seemingly what literally comes to pass. He repeatedly clocks both Tashi and Art’s behaviors, describing them brashly to their faces (and to us as the audience), and he was right about his predictions. He’s the one who’s not repressed or unaware of who he is out of the 3 of them: when Tashi first asks if there’s something between him and Art, he looks away because he knows the answer is yes; he’s openly bi on dating apps; he tells Tashi he won’t be her lapdog unlike Art which we see later ends up becoming literal; he clocks how Tashi is hiding some of her true motivations when she seeks him out in the storm; and even from afar he predicts Art’s mindset about wanting to retire. For the most part, what Patrick does / says either seems to be or becomes truth. Hmmm, wait, as I’m typing this… something to look out for: the “I TOLD YA” shirt. Working theory: Tashi briefly wears it, she’s the voice of accuracy; then it blatantly switches over to Patrick and he wears it throughout the film and [waves to all of the above]

-Head in my hands thinking of how the word “love” is used in these tennis matches. Also something I need to make detailed note of when I rewatch

-Patrick grabbing Art’s thigh when they first watched Tashi play… oh my GOD

-Patrick pulling Art’s stool close and Art just smoothly sitting on it with no reaction… the way they kept looking at each others' lips... oh my G O D

-I just remembered Tashi referred to the boys being known as as “fire and ice.” What the fuck even.

-Tashi going to Patrick asking him to lose the match for Art… she’s literally like, "do this because I love tennis and if I lose Art then I lose the way I live tennis through him. Do this because if he loses this match he'll lose himself." And she's really like, "Do this because I know you’re in love with both of us." And Patrick is like, "A) fuck you because you know I’ll say yes precisely because I'm in love with both of you so how dare you ask this of me, and B) you’re kidding yourself if you think you don’t miss the challenge I give YOU simply by being myself because I don’t take your shit." Something something they're peers, you know

-Tbh for 13 years when Patrick gets his rare opportunities he’s @ both Art and Tashi like “you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.” And the thing is that he’s RIGHT. He’s right! Art in particular doesn't want to admit it because he's trying to convince himself he outgrew being bisexual / outgrew Patrick but it's obviously bullshit

-Realizing some of the sounds in the soundtrack intentionally emulate the sounds of tennis balls and rackets???? MADNESS

[fanfic-writer-and-rambler]

Lady Vampire (with a brooklyn accent): I gotta tell ya, bein' immortal and a vampire has it's perks, but the one issue is that sex with the opposite gender gets borin'. You can only have so many men inside ya before they feel the same. I've lived a long time too. The amounts of guys who've been like 'I'm the one that can make you feel like a natural woman' and then don't have left me more hungry than me on a blood lust. Then I met up with this woman in the 60s who was a repressed lesbian because 1860s. Took her home, next thing I know we're sweaty and layin' in the bed-

Spoiler: Why are you telling us this?

Vampire: I'm gettin' there. I'm into many genders, but women's is what I enjoy. They soft, they listen, we both like cuddlin', but they're still a challenge.

The vampire looks directly at Spoiler as Red Robin and Red Hood step away a few inches.

Vampire: It is actually hard givin' them an orgasm. I thought it was me. My point is, I don't want any of the mens you're with. I want you blondie. You got the look I like, reminds me of this old pirate back in 1865 and your body is bangin'. What do you say, one night of passion?

Spoiler remains silent as her entire face turns pink unsure of what to say.

Vampire: I'll release your friends from my thrall if you do.

Red Hood: Spoiler, go on over to her. Have that night of passion.

Vampire: I've got vanilla scented candles.

Hood: That's your favorite.

Spoiler let's out an angry growl directed to Hood. Red Robin, standing next to the two, chuckles slowly which grows more and more until he falls on the floor in hysterics.

Vampire: What- What did I say?

Spoiler: I- Y- I need a moment- you said a lot things that I'm trying to process. Is anyone warm? I am gonna just walk for a second.

Spoiler walks away.

Red Hood (chuckling): Are you thinking about it?

Spoiler: Ignoring you!

Red Robin, on the ground laughing, starts snorting as well.

Red Robin: Oh God, oh God, that was the- Oddly enough I agree with your thinking, but with men.

Vampire: Oh you're pan or bi?

Red Robin: Bi.

Vampire: Wow, good for you. Blondie, do it for your friend, he understands.

Hood: I'm on board with this as well. Spoiler, you can cross it off your bucket list.

Spoiler: I am not banging a vampire- Would you just let our friends go for a different reason! Have sex with one of them!

Vampire: Come on, I'm gentle. Won't even bite ya.

Spoiler: I am not banging a vampire! Man or woman, not happening!

Vampire: I swear, some of them are hard to win over.

Hood: Preaching to the choir. Give me a second.

Hood walks over to Spoiler and carries her back to the group.

Spoiler crosses her arms angrily.

Vampire: All right, all right, no sex. I respect the boundary. How about a kiss, no tongue, just lips.

Spoiler: I-

Hood: Nightwing is a vampire, do it for him.

Spoiler: Frick it, fine. Pucker up!

Vampire: Yes!

Five days later:

Dick: How were you able to defeat her again?

Stephanie: I stuck a dagger in her heart and nothing else!

Dick: Um okay.

[solivagantingrebel]

Soap who falls in love hard and fast.

Soap who believes in love wholeheartedly to the point that he does everything he can to make any relationship he's in work even at his own expense. Soap who has to face disappointment at the end each time knowing he gave it his everything and it still didn't work out.

Soap who grapples with the reality that just because he does everything he can doesn't mean things were meant to be that way. Soap who slowly gets disillusioned by the notion of love. Soap who thinks that maybe they were right, maybe he did get hurt more because he wore his heart on his sleeve and dove into relationships with his bare chest like a lovesick eejit. Soap who decides that he needs to stop acting like one.

Soap who shoves his feelings aside to focus on other things in his life. Soap who focuses on building things that are tangible and long lasting. Soap who cherishes that his career, finance and family don't make his efforts look wasted. Soap who convinces himself that it's enough. Soap who tries to convince himself that he's changed.

Soap who catches himself spiralling down that hard and fast pit again around a certain Lieutenant. Soap who panics and tries to ignore his feelings. Soap who deeply represses. Soap who keeps his distance. Soap who backs off when he's told to, gives space when Ghost needs it, doesn't flinch when he puts up walls thicker than steel between them.

Soap who digs through what's given to him anyway because he hasn't truly changed, his feelings have never disappeared. Soap who is terrified of finding himself at the start of the cycle he knows the end all too well of.

Soap who prays again after years of not doing so, to a God he hasn't spoken to in a while. Soap who is hoping and begging for things to be different this time. Soap who wants Ghost to be the exception to every experience he's had in his life so far.

Soap who tries to convince himself that if he can do things differently, things will end differently. Soap who can't help but be himself.

Soap who falls in love hard and fast.

Soap who gets addicted to his smile whenever he gets to see it. Soap who discreetly stifles his laughs at his dumb little jokes. Soap who sees how much he cares despite his reluctance to directly admit it. Soap who starts loving and trusting him regardless.

Soap who decides that, if he is meant to crash and burn from the start, loving Ghost wholeheartedly is a damn good reason to be a martyr anyway.

[anxious-witch]

Part three of height/stance analysis of DBDA character. This part is about the Cat King, mainly in regard to catwin, but I will briefly touch upon his few scenes with other characters too.

Charles's version, Edwin's version

So, the Cat King another character that take a dominant position in most of his scenes. Immediately, when we meet him, he is sitting on a throne, above Charles, Edwin and Crystal, which is meant to intimidate them and to show off his power over the situation. Focusing on that specifically, now we can notice a pattern-Charles gets lowered when he is feeling helpless, Edwin when he feels out of control and the Cat King when he actually loses the dominant role of the scene, aka the events aren't unfolding as he planned. Which are similar, but not exactly the same, which tells us a lot about each of them.

The Cat King is a magical being of unknow origin, so it makes sense his sense of self is tied into power. From what I noticed, that power comes from either intimidation or desire, or sometimes both.

So let's go back to the first scene where he appears. Crystal and the boys are naturally, intimidated by him, which is further exemplified by the fact that the Cat King doesn't even rise from his chair, and yet keeps his high ground.

When does he rise? When he is about to offer Edwin a private conversation, taking control more directly that way.

But notice the camera angle in this scene. Not only does it not show the Cat King and our trio(because we know very well both Charles and Edwin are physically taller, but it also shows him from a slightly lowered angle of the camera, so he appears bigger. Almost as if he is looming over them. Then, once he and Edwin are alone, we get to this.

The first time where the Cat King looks smaller than Edwin. BUT, take a look at Edwin, who is usually standing oerfectly poised and straight, looming over everyone and everything. Here, he looks almost slightly hunched down instead. But why is the Cat King smaller here, you may ask? Because he is trying to find Edwin's weak spot. He even says here "What should you punishment be?" Only when Edwin counters with "I don't see the harm in one little spell" does the Cat King resume his dominant position.

Looking at this two shots, Edwin looks almost timid, his usual height deemed irrelevant when he is alone in the shot, almost bledning in with the dark background. In contrast, the Cat King is illuminated, appearing bigger and more threatening, further highlighted by his satisfied expression.

This is followed by a scene where CT slaps the bracelet on Edwin.

When the Cat King leans in, die to the angle it looks like he is taller than Edwin. Because he figured Edwin's weak spot-his repressed sexuality. And here, Edwin is giving in to it, giving the Cat King the power to put the caging spell on him.

What I found interesting is that immediately after, the Cat King willingly sits down in his chair, leaving Edwin standing. He seems to work under a careful set of rules so once he brands Edwin with his bracelet, he briefly gives the power back to Edwin, in giving him a choice to give in to his desire. I talked about this in another post here, but the gist of it is that the Cat King forces him to choose between giving in to his desires(accepting his homosexuality) or face his flaw(his dismissivness of creatures and ppl he finds irrelevant to him).

Only when Edwin refuses to reclaim him power in accepting his inital offer does the Cat King rise again and assumes his dominant stance.

Now, let's analyze their second meeting. When Edwin arrives, the Cat King is lounging on the wall, lying down. He is still on a higher ground, but I find it interesting that he again, gives Edwin a chance to reclaim his freedom first. And he does so twice. Firstly, by giving Edwin a chance to tell him how many cats there are, and when he is wrong, to go along with his flirting. And when he doesn't, then the Cat King rises once again.

When he gets close to Edwin, we have, again another shot where CT looks taller. Because Edwin feels out of control when he is around, because he feels small in the face of his own desires. And the Cat King is aware of it.

Now, the firest scene is when things TRULY get interesting. By this point, we see Edwin gain much more confidence in himself and his feelings, partially due to accepting he has feelings for Charles and partially bc of his friendship/situationship with Monty. So when they meet each other in the woods, we get this shot.

Not only is there a very noticable height difference we weren't show before, but the Cat King is actively leaning down, leaning towards Edwin as he reveals Monty's betrayl to him.

Why? Because he realized Edwin was well on his way in winning his game. So here, he is trying to find his footing again, trying to appease Edwin. And I'd say he almost suceeds, because for a brief moment, when he is talking about Edwin owning him a thanks, they are on equal ground, height wise. But then, CT brings up a second kiss and that balance shatters. We get this shot:

Of Edwin cockying his head up and making himself appear taller, despite the camera angle not working in his favor. And of course, we then have Edwin walking away, with the camera showing how small the Cat King is in that moment as he makes his threat. Edwin turns back and then he is the one lowering himself on the Cat King's level to show off the bracelet and remind him that's all that he is to Edwin.

Reminding him that while Edwin can stoop to his level, they are not equal, and that Edwin understands his game now and that he is done with it. He took his power back.

I find the fact that their power dynamics are shifting sm throughout these soo fascinating, honestly. Their rs is so dynamic and it's shown so plainly through who is appearing bigger in that moment. But! Let's shift from catwin for a bit and take a look at another character that manages to be more dominant in a scene with the Cat King. Which is, of course, Esther.

Cat King tries his usual approach with her, with him sitting on his throne and not paying attention to her entering, but Esther clearly doesn't fall for that intimidation tactic, instead grabbing him by the throat and forcing him in a position where she is in control. It's not only violent, it feels almost degrading, given the way she does it and given what we know of the Cat King thus far.

And the thing is, even when he escapes her grip, he relinquishes the power to her, leaving her up on his throne while he is left standing down next to it, as people who usually visit him do.

I don't think I need to get into her literally killing him with her cane, and how he is literally at his lowest when he is lying on the floor. And even when he is resurrected, from then on, he seems noticably smaller in every other instance he appears in. Like he lost a fraction of his power. And even when he snarls at Esther and tell her to keep her hands off Edwin, the shot he is in purposefully makes the warehouse seem much bigger around him, while the shot of Esther is much closer up. Because she is a more threatening figure here now.

When Crystal and Niko come looking for his help, at first he appears behind them, as if he had to sneak in to his own warehouse. He gets back on his uplifted position later, when he does decide to help them and when he realizes he holds the power of having the information they want. But notice how he orders them to sit, so he can loom over them more. I'd guess that he has been made aware of his own vulnerability and powerlessness by Esther and he tries desperately to reclaim it in that moment.

Which is why his last scene with Edwin is so impactful! They have both been irreparably changed by circumstances. Where Edwin now stands taller, his confidence and power regained, Cat King looks almost comically tiny in comparison!

Look at that wide shot of the alley! Edwin's height is not only shown fully, it's amplified, and the Cat King's tight fitting clothes are making him seem even smaller and more vulnerable here.

Because in that moment, the illusion is fully shattered. Edwin calls CT out on his own loneliness and they are both aware he lost the game, because he is the one that fell for Edwin and he has nothing to keep him with anymore. But Edwin has grown too. He doesn't gloat in his power and in fact, when he kisses Cat King's cheek, he lowers himself on his eye level, so they are equals once more, in that brief moment. This time not doing it to hurt the Cat King, but rather to show affection and forgivness. He understands him now and he holds all the power.

Honestly, if we get a Cat King reappearance in S2, I'd love to see how their relationship would change. They are the ones whose relationship is the most dynamic and it's constantly about who will gain the upper hand.

As always, if anyone has anything to add/think I forgot something, olease feel free to add it

[slutforitoshi]

sae itoshi - ring *:･ﾟ✧

ft. sae x f!reader, 18+ minors dni 

cw: cheating/infidelity, fingering, unprotected sex, sae is mean, you will feel bad for rin but horny for sae

synopsis: you finally meet your future brother-in-law, and he is more than pleased to see you

wc: 2.04k

A/N: i wrote this right before my physio midterm hopefully there’s no typos oops 

“sae that’s amazing!” his mother exclaimed in response to his news of him moving back to japan. a family dinner was called with some promise of a big announcement and this must have been it. you guessed sae wanted to tell his family before the media announced his relocation.

“what happened to mr. ‘I’m too good for japan,’” rin, your fiancee, sneered albeit jokingly. although you weren’t technically part of the family (yet), the itoshis insisted on having you over. this was the first time you’ve seen sae though. he was always abroad.

“well someone’s gotta humble you here,” sae rolled his eyes, reflecting the same energy back to his brother. you could see the resemblance. teal eyes, fair skin. all similar right down to their serious, deadpanned demeanor. the biggest difference was his hair, a light maroon color, swept up to reveal his forehead. you wondered if rin would ever style his similarly if you asked him…shit. he caught you looking for a little too long.

and he smirks. the heat rising to your cheeks does not make it any better and you quickly look away fiegning innocence. you try to make up excuses in your head, moreso to convince yourself than anyone else though. yeah, you were just looking because this was the first time you met him. it’s normal to be curious about someone new.

rin’s hands stir you from your thoughts, now settled on your own. the glimmering ring on your left hand, that you were prideful of, suddenly burned on your finger. like it was punishing you for your thoughts just minutes ago. 

“so how long you guys been together?” sae asks pointedly at rin, although his eyes were fixed on you. you couldn’t look back directly, out of fear of the blush that might rise again.

“3 years? we’ve been engaged for about half a year though.”

“she’s pretty, i’d always known you had a good eye”, sae responds, still staring. it felt like a hole was being bored into your skull. and there was the blush you tried so hard to repress. he thinks you’re pretty. you suddenly felt like a schoolgirl, hearing that her crush might like her, too.

the conversation shifts away from you thankfully, giving you a second to finally breathe. calm down. that is his brother. you should not be feeling like this. your eyes betray you though, sneaking glances at sae. what was it about him that captivated you so much? 

“hey, are you ok?” rin’s question jolts you back again, him noticing you haven’t really been present in current conversation. your surprise causes you to drop your spoonful of soup…right into your lap. 

“oh my gosh,” you stumble over your words, embarrassed. 

“it’s alright, do you want me to lend you a pair of pants?” his mom asks, so unaware of the sinful thoughts that were circling your head about her son (and not the one you’re engaged to).

“it’s okay!” you interject, “it’s only a small stain. it should come off with a bit of scrubbing”

you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom to clean up the mess. both on your pants and in your mind.

the faucet running quickly washes the stain and the thoughts away. you look down at your ring again. it’s beautiful, like your relationship. too beautiful to throw away over some silly thoughts. reassuring yourself, you focus back onto the spilled soup.

you hear the bathroom door handle turn, and you continue to scrub at the stain without looking up, assuming it’s just rin checking on you.

“hey,” a voice says. it’s not rin. his voice was more sultry, mature. 

you look up and all the thoughts you’d work so hard to scrub away are crawling back. 

“um hi…i was just about to go back out so you don’t have to-” your meek voice is cut off.

“does rin satisfy you?” he says bluntly. wow, right to the point huh.

“why is that any of your business?” you try to sound strong, but shift your gaze to the ground, scared that your composure might crumble if you look into those teal eyes.

“that’s not what it looks like to me,” sae says simply, stepping closer to you. your eyes stay fixed on the ground.

“you were practically begging me to fuck you through your pretty lashes. rin’s not the only one who has a good eye. who do you think trained him to read intentions?” he continues, seeing right through you. 

“look, it doesn’t matter what I think. rin and I are engaged. i’m not throwing all that away for some stupid thoughts.” you stood firm, but the ring began to burn on your finger again. 

“who said you had to throw it away? as long as you know how to keep secrets that is” he’s even closer to you now. one more step and he’d be able to touch you, and why did you not hate that?

you pursed your lips, unable to deny your attraction now. the ring was scalding against you, and a pit in your stomach began to grow. he took yet another step closer and now you can smell him. cologne. a deep scent, not too musky though…just how you liked it. your resolve was tearing at the seams.

“you better make your decision soon. not much longer until rin gets suspicious” sae half-cages you in, putting one arm past your waist to lean against the bathroom counter. you could easily go around the other side to exit, but as his cologne invades your surroundings, your thoughts surround you. and you lean in.

his hands move quickly to your sides, holding you tight now that you’ve made your decision. his strong arms hoist you up onto the counter where his hand once rested. 

his lips were soft, but he kissed with such aggression which you happily reciprocated. your movements were driven by pure lust. desperation. when was the last time you felt like this? rin was a gentle lover most of the time, unless you pleaded with him to be a little rough. 

“you better not be thinking of him right now. focus on me,” sae spat, as if reading your mind once again. 

your pants were quickly pulled off, now damp in two places. his right hand was immediately in between, pulling the thin cloth to the side.

“you’re soaked,” he exasperates, and it was the first hint of a smile you’d seen all night. his lips were on you again, although you found it increasingly difficult to kiss back. not when his fingers were circling your clit at a fervent speed. then, they entered, earning a gasp from you.

“s-so full” you stutter at the sudden entry. 

“you’re so fucking tight. How are you going to take my cock,” he mutters, mostly to himself. you could only respond in moans, not even caring if they could reach the dining table where the rest of the family sat. sae seemed to care though, clamping his free hand over your mouth so that only muted vibrations could escape. 

two fingers became three, and you welcomed the stretch. sae had clearly done this before, being able to curl them to hit just the right gummy spot that took rin months to even find. 

you could feel the coil in your stomach tighten. if he continued, you would surely reach your first orgasm of the night. he doesn’t give you that luxury though. you’re on a time crunch, remember?

he takes his palm off your mouth, and reaches down to fumble his belt buckle open. and then you’re met with his cock. you could understand why he was concerned about you being able to take it now. 

you let out a small whine as his fingers left you, but it was quickly replaced with his thick girth. at least he was gentle with the entry. but he barely gives you a second to take it in before he started moving. 

his hands now gripped your waist tightly on both sides, fucking you with such conviction. you felt like your were being used, and you relished in it. 

“fuck. it’s not fair; rin keeping this perfect fuck toy to himself,” he muttered to himself again. he wasn’t as vocal as rin you noted, limiting himself to the occasional grunt or deep, breathy moan. 

“s-sae”, it was difficult to get much words out.

“slow down you’re going to break me,” you utter, even though you knew he had no intention of doing so. 

“break then. let everyone know what a fucking slut you are throwing yourself onto your fiancee’s brother,” he challenges you. his cruel words sent a chill down your spine, right into the heat where he currently thrusted in and out of.

the sounds of his rough pounding filled the room, complimented by your higher pitched moans. his right hand moved from your waist and placed itself at your clit, rubbing fast circles, earning even louder sounds from you. 

“do I need to shut you up again,” he growled, but not stopping his ministrations. his thrusts became sporadic and irregular, a sign you knew as being close. you started clamping harder onto his cock, attempting to milk out every last drop.

“f-fuck, don’t stop doing that,” he recognizes your attempts, and any guilt that he could have about betraying his brother left his mind (not that he had much in the first place). 

he quickly pulls out, spilling his seed all over your thighs and stomach. after catching his breath, he stands back and gives you another smirk, rather proud of the mess he made you into. as if on cue, your session is cut by a familiar voice.

“you good in there?” rin calls from outside. your eyes widen, panicked. 

“i’m fine! just uh fixing up some makeup!” you called back, coming up with an excuse. you quickly take toilet paper, wiping up your body, frantically hiding any evidence. looking around, your eyes settle onto the bathtub.

“hide in there quick!” you whisper-shout, practically pushing sae behind the curtains. 

you pull up your discarded pants, trying to ignore the pool that was still in between your legs you forgot to wipe up. you manage to button them right before rin turns the handle.

“what took you so long?” he comes up behind you, pressing a kiss onto your temple. you give a meek smile in return, hoping he couldn’t hear your hammering heart.

“oh the stain was harder to get out than I thought, and I wanted to touch up my makeup since it smeared a little” you lied. 

“really? I didn’t notice.” he guides you out of the bathroom, and you let out a breath of relief thankful that he didn’t suspect anything. 

“oh by the way have you seen sae? he said he was going to bring you some stain remover he had on him,” rin asks, and your breath hitches.

“o-oh yeah he stopped by. i got the stain out mostly by then so I told him I didn’t need it,” you hoped that sounded natural enough, “maybe he’s taking a call or something,” adding an alibi.

“yeah he must be busy with the new move,” rin concluded. 

“let’s head back soon I’m a little tired”, you suggested, knowing dinner was about over anyways. it technically wasn’t a lie, you were tired (from being fucked like a whore). 

“good thinking, the drive’s a bit long anyways.” he clasps his right hand around your left, and your attention is brought back to the ring which started to grow uncomfortably warm against your finger again.

~~~

“you coming to bed?” rin asks, already brushed up and ready for sleep. 

“yeah just wanted to hang up some clothes”, you call back from the closet. as you put the hanger around the coat you wore for the night, you noticed a corner poke out of its pocket. you pulled the sheet out.

we’re not finished yet, i still need to make you cum XXX-XXX-XXXX

you rip up the paper until the text was no longer legible, discarding it in the nearest trashbin. 

but not before the digits were seared into your head, just like the ring that has been searing your finger all night.

[morgan-the-lonely-brick]

I have thoughts about the clip and especially about Fang and generally all of the scene so yeah, an analysis-like tangent full of spoilers below cut

Out of the entire crew, I think Fang and Frenchie (especially Fang) are literally the best people to recieve comfort from. It's double true for Izzy.

Not only do they have like. The least invasive and violent trauma out of the crew, but they're both very empathetic and want to help others in distress. Even when that person isn't a particular ray of sunshine... like Izzy.

It also makes sense for Fang to be the main comforter. He knows Izzy. He's known him for a long while. And he's known Blackbeard for a long while too.

Watching him from the beginning of the clip, he seems to be the first one to notice Izzy's not feeling great. Far before the others do!

This is the first we directly see Fang in the clip and yeah he looks surprised that they're throwing loot overboard - as you should be but... even more than that he looks ALARMED. He knows something's up.

After listening to Izzy for a few seconds he is completely sure something's up. He checks in with Frenchie to know if he's seeing it too. We don't know where Frenchie is looking, but I'd assume he reciprocates the look.

Izzy stops mid-sentence. That's not like him. The others will have noticed it too now. Sure enough, here's Jim, thoroughly confused and/or taken aback at least.

Fang protection mode ACTIVATE! His first thought is to ask how Izzy's doing (i am so soft for them oh my god-) and to touch him - reassure him. Ground him.

we then get a "I'm fine, unhand me" which Fang does, to give Izzy some space and checks in again with a "you really don't seem fine". He waits for Izzy's response. He wants to make SURE Izzy's okay, or rather, is patiently waiting for him to admit that he's not.

The others join in saying that they've noticed. They've noticed how destructive his relationship with Ed is. I can't even imagine what's running through Izzy's mind at this moment. Probably like a waterfall of emotion - shame and anger and sadness and everything is too much - he's soon to break. He's trying so hard to hold it back, but he can't. He can't, when the truth is being thrown directly at his face by his own crewmates.

Frenchie comments "he's cut off at least two more of your toes hasn't he?" and Izzy almost flinches at that sentence. He quivers. That's his breaking point. And I. have to stop a bit to look at the implications of this. Form this scene at least, I understood taht when Izzy fails to make the crew follow orders, he gets physically punished. As we heard earlier: "It is your job to f-" *he stops, he shakes slightly* he's thinking about the consequences of them not following his orders - more of his toes cut off. That's horrifying. I'd start crying too, jesus...

Fang knows it's his breaking point and goes back to comfort him - even forcing it a bit on him, because he knows Izzy will struggle, but needs it. God, does he need it. He's always pushing people away, but Fang won't let him this time. He won't let himself be pushed away, because he cares. And he wants to show Izzy that he cares. So he persists.

And after only a few seconds of a very feeble struggle, Izzy accepts it. He's been strong for so long. He's been brave and hurting and isolated and repressed for so. So long. And he needs to let go. And he does. He whimpers. He sounds like a puppy who's been kicked. And he is. He is a puppy. A puppy that's been severely hurt and doesn't WANT to be hurt anymore. (god, i am weak at the knees, someone call the ambulace, i think i'm dying)

Frenchie steps in as secondary comfort to show that Izzy's really not alone in this and that none of them actually hate him. Even if he thinks he deserves it. Not even Stede's former crew hate him. That's what Frenchie represents here - to me. Fang and frenchie together show him that love isn't meant to hurt so much. It's not meant to be like this. And they also ground him in that moment. Izzy looks at Frenchie several times as he whimpers, perhaps checking in - seeing if Frenchie leaves after seeing him weak. But he doesn't. He stayes and he waits for Izzy to be okay and I think that means the world to Izzy. It means the world to me too. Izzy deserves all the comfort by this point.

Also I want to throw Edward overboard.

11/10 i need Izzy to have more hugs

[scarletteye]

More crazy/obsessed Scaramouche

Like I've said last post, ya'll really like it when these genshin men go feral. So here is another one of my fave crazy Scaramouche moments from my fic Blossom of the Divine on ao3.

Blossom of the Divine, Chapter 9

“Get your hands off me,” you hissed.

He withdrew his hand for a moment, visibly taken aback by your hostility. The gentleness in his eyes slowly died out, becoming replaced by dissatisfaction. It wasn’t long before his entire expression turned grim. That sudden change in his demeanor struck you with fear.

His gaze slowly slid to the side. He looked at Cyno from the corner of his eyes. The darkness in Scaramouche’s expression warned you to be very careful with how you treat this situation. “Oh? You’re awake as well.”

You gaze snapped onto Cyno. Your heartbeat was in your throat; manic and forceful. He was awake. He looked disoriented. Dizzy. There was a certain blankness to his glare that assured you that he wasn’t quite here yet.

“It’s almost funny,” Scaramouche said, now glancing at the Fatui agents that bowed down to him. His tone was full of repressed fury. “I don’t remember ordering you to bring him. I thought I made myself clear.”

His fingers slid onto your neck; gently and carefully as if to not startle you. You shivered under his touch. His hands were cold, yet soft. His fingers gently brushed against your bruised skin, tracing the darkened patterns that painted your neck - evidence of your struggle against a Fatui agent.

“I ordered them to bring you here unharmed. Only you,” his voice turned lower. “Yet it seems that my followers are too stupid to follow simple instructions. Not only did they bring this rat…” He glanced at Cyno. “But they also brought you to me bruised.”

Completely covered in cold sweat and with your heart maniacally beating in your throat, you were unable to come up with anything. No smart remark. No plan. Even if you held a thought, it got lost in your mind as soon as your gaze met Scaramouche’s.

“Who did this to you?” he asked calmly.

“Huh?” you breathed out.

“I asked: who did this to you?” he tried again, this time sounding more commanding.

You felt that the atmosphere was heavy; it was dense enough to be cut by a knife. You knew that every agent around you felt fear as he asked you that question, and you felt fear for them. Despite you not giving him an answer, he noticed you glance at the agents.

“Oh?”

You gulped. His fingers gently grazed your bruised neck, setting fire to your ears and turning them bright red.  “There’s no reason for you to be so wary,” he dragged out his words. “You’re not in trouble.”

“The person who did this, however,” he continued, pressing his fingers against the bruise on your neck. You winced, holding your breath as he put pressure on your agitated skin. “I don’t exactly have an excuse for them.”

“I told you,” you squeezed the words out through your teeth, “to get your hands off me.”

You glared right back at him. Even though you were kneeling directly in his mercy, and even though your face was burning red from his touch, your eyes reflected a fire deep within you. Resentment.

Scaramouche tilted his head; his dark strands fell to one side. The corners of his lips twisted upwards. He stared down at you with amusement. He withdrew the hand from your neck, letting out a tch before taking a few steps forth. He faced his agents, leaving your side just long enough to give you space to breathe.

You quietly shivered. Strands of your hair got stuck to your face, and your panicked eyes searched for comfort in Cyno. He looked more awake with each passing minute. He carefully analyzed your surroundings, constantly keeping an eye on Scaramouche as if he feared being caught.

His scarlet eyes met your gaze, narrowing at you as he shook his head.

You raised your brows. You couldn’t understand what he was trying to tell you.

“Stand up,” Scaramouche ordered. The agents followed his instructions, keeping a brave face as they faced their superior. “All of you were there when she was captured. Surely one of you got to witness the moment that she was harmed.”

The agents were silent. Your heartbeat climbed to your ears, nearly deafening you as you recognized static on your skin.

“Need I repeat myself?” Scaramouche hissed. “You.” He called at a random agent. “Tell me what happened when you tried to retrieve her.”

“A battle broke out. Lord,” they quickly added. “But she… she was bruised before that. I think.”

“And who were the first agents to arrive on scene?” his cold gaze scoured the mass.

You tuned your head to look at Cyno again. He was trying to free his arms; his face contorted with pain. He grit his teeth, letting out a low breath before falling motionless. He couldn’t do anything. Not that you expected him to be able to escape in that state, but you still felt immeasurably cold as you watched him lower his head in shame.

You flinched as three agents stepped in front of you. They wore masks like everybody else, and their outfits were disfigured with bandages. Their skin glistened with sweat, and they kept their heads low, visibly scared of Scaramouche.

“Well?” Scaramouche appeared behind you, leaning down so that his lips reach your ear. His whisper filled your stomach with butterflies and sent your skin on fire. You turned tense. It was impossible to breathe with him so close to you. “Which one of them was it?”

Your eyes widened in horror. He was asking you to rat out the girl who gave you that bruise. You could almost feel him glaring at them from over your shoulder. You were unable to voice anything. What were you supposed to do? You didn’t want blood on your hands. He didn’t have to punish them. In fact, if he sent them after you, it was kind of his fault for putting you in harm’s way. For putting Cyno in harm’s way.

There was a constant chill in your spine and a constant storm in your stomach. You were unable to think. Unable to speak. Even if you wanted to tell him, you would never be able to recognize the agent. Even if you wanted to point out his hypocrisy, your voice would only tremble.

He grabbed your chin and slowly turned your head upwards, until your neck strained and until you stared directly at the ceiling. Scaramouche popped into your vision. His eyes were dim. You couldn’t miss the hurt in his voice, or the slight shift of his brows as he frowned at your silence. “You aren’t afraid to call them out, are you?”

“No. I… I just don’t know,” you whispered out.

His eyes turned wider; the tremble in your voice seemingly made him give up on pressuring you. “Don’t sound so worried,” he said. “They are just Dottore’s rats. He has plenty of them left.”

“I don’t know how they looked like,” you admitted. Your heart was manic. You didn’t want them to die. Even if they were Fatui. Even if they worked for Dottore. You didn’t want that kind of blood on your hands. “I’m telling you I don’t know,” you tried again. “She had a mask.”

“She,” Scaramouche repeated. He lowered your head, still keeping a firm grip on your chin as he let you look at the three agents. One of them was a male, the other two female. You couldn’t tell them apart. You knew one of them was Petrushka – the one that attacked you – and that one of them wielded Cryo.

To make matters worse, his hold on you hurt.

You glanced at Cyno, wishing to find some form of comfort in his presence. He glared at you, warning you to keep quiet.

Unfortunately, Scaramouche noticed the slight tilt of your head as your eyes searched for Cyno.

“Does your friend have a better idea?”

You gulped. Cyno glared right back at Scaramouche, unafraid of the fury in his tone.

“Maybe we can address the elephant in the room first, then,” Scaramouche said.

In return, Cyno’s scarlet eyes narrowed, as if he were threatening Scaramouche to stay away from him. It didn’t help in deescalating the situation. It only made Scaramouche’s anger more evident. His glare turned stone cold as he looked down at Cyno, as if he were speaking to a pile of garbage. “And who may you be?”

“Somebody who will end you if you don’t get your hands off her.”

Your eyes widened at Cyno’s words. You felt Scaramouche’s grip on your face tighten.  “Really?” he whispered.

“Wait,” you blurted out. You trembled as you slowly raised your head. By the time you were able to see him, your neck hurt. His image was upside down to you, but you still saw his eyes glisten with fury. “We don’t have to do this. Really- I don’t care that I have a bruise-”

“I care,” Scaramouche coldly said. You were taken aback by his tone. “I gave them simple orders. I told them not to harm you. I just don’t understand why they couldn’t simply listen. And now they have to die.”

“You don’t have to do that,” you tried to reason with him.

“And what kind of an example would that set to the others, hm?” he leaned his face closer to yours, challenging you to speak back to him again. His eyes reflected the full force of his anger. The full force of his madness. “I mean. They were already trying to catch you before I gave them orders. They should know where their loyalties lie.”

Cyno interjected. “I told you to get your hands off her.”

Scaramouche’s eyes slowly shifted to Cyno. Your heart sunk as you saw the madness in his glare. The thirst for violence. “Fine. If you don’t want to point fingers at the useless agent who hurt you, then I suppose I’m left with no choice.” He let go of your chin, letting your head sink along with your heart. “I’ll just have to eradicate all of them.”

To your horror, he pointed at Cyno. “Put him with the rest.”

His minions immediately began acting out his orders.

“Wait!” you yelled out. Your heartbeat climbed up to your throat. “It’s not his fault. Please don’t-”

Scaramouche’s agents grabbed Cyno, hoisting him up by his arms; a yelp left his mouth as they dragged him closer to the other three hostages. They were holding him cruelly, holding his wounds as they threw him at the floor as if he were an animal.

“Stop!” you screamed.

Cyno hissed in pain, shutting his eyes tightly as he sunk lower to the ground. Scaramouche stepped forth, wiggling his fingers as he summoned Electro to his palm. A ball of purple energy sparked alive in his hold; its loud crackled made you gasp. It illuminated his purple hair, and painting his eyes with hatred as he looked down at Cyno’s wounded body.

“Stop, stop, stop!” you screamed. You bowed down; your forehead hit the floor. You did not care how desperate you looked. You didn’t even care that you were bowing to him. You didn’t want Cyno to die. “Please stop. Stop this,” you begged. “He has nothing to do with this. P-Petrushka! That was the name of the agent who choked me! I remember now. See? Please don’t harm Cyno. Please.”

The room fell strangely quiet. Even the crackles of Scaramouche’s powers ceased. All you could hear were your shallow breaths. You dared to look up from the floor; you dared to search for Scaramouche’s face.

His expression was stoic. Though, the moment he found your teary gaze, a quiet breath rolled from his lips. “Good girl.”

He reached his arm out towards one of the female agents, seemingly already knowing which one of them was named Petrushka. You caught Cyno’s expression as he stared at you; full of shock and disbelief.

Petrushka dropped to his knees, trembling as if she were standing in an icy storm. Sweat doused her skin. Even with the mask on her face, you could tell that she was terrified.

Electricity crackled around Scaramouche. You held your breath, as you watched him glow with purple. Lighting circled him, erupting from his arms, suffocating the air with static.

Electro flashed around him. Cyno ducked, falling as close to the floor as possible before thunder struck.

A loud boom shook the room. You gasped; electricity surged through the room, nearly taking you off your knees and blinding you as it exploded throughout.  Sparks glimmered in the air, showering the floor like snow. A horrid silence enveloped you.

You dared to look at the female agent, finding only char and ashes in her spot. Scaramouche stretched his arm, clenching and unclenching his fingers as if he were just getting warmed up.

Your eyes frantically searched Cyno’s body. He breathed shallowly, full of panic much like yourself, but he was alive. Unharmed by the lighting like you begged of Scaramouche. He listened to you after all.

“Throw the rest of them behind bars,” Scaramouche ordered. “I don’t care what happens to them.”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Bro casually kidnaps someone and then proceeds to kill anybody who put a scratch on that someone even though he told them to kidnap them for him.... Okay crazy guy <3 Whatever you want

As always you can read the fic on ao3 here.

Even with all of this tho i still feel as if Childe is crazier.

[vole-mon-amour]

and they shouldn't have 😠.

I never hoped for this. this is a mess.

x

if you recruit both, give me back the datamined dialogue of Halsin asking the player to choose between him and Minthara. the way she kidnaps and tortures him in every timeline, and the way she kills him in one of the outcomes. is he supposed to just forgive her that? she slaughters his Grove and he's supposed to just forgive that?

man, I wish Larian would have stayed true to what they originally planned. again, it's great that they support the game, lots of things were improved (that should've been done in the first place before the release but alas), but we're getting an entirely new game from what it's been when 'fully' released. at least stay true to your ideas, since it directly affects the plot and its conflict.

give me the ability to play as Halsin before the ship crashes, then. make him the original companion and let me be captured as him and tortured before our party arrives and saves Halsin (us) (or, you know, betrays us). let people learn about his very similar to Astarion trauma that is being treated like a joke and hidden behind a very optional dialogue that is very easy to miss, even if you try hard to see as much of the game as possible on your first run.

we know Minthara is in a cult and is being manipulated (which is its own topic because of the damage that she still does) and she verbalizes it. we learn about it from her and it's not a joke. we know about everyone else's trauma. why the hell is Halsin's being portrayed like this?

(and yes, I know that his comments about his slavery and abuse are victim blaming and that's he's repressing those memories, trying to convince himself it was all fun and mutual. but it wasn't!

Astarion went through a similar experience, but he knows it wasn't his fault. he knows the horrible things that he's done and that he was (still is sometimes) an asshole, but he's done those things to survive.

Karlach went through slavery, but she knows it wasn't her fault.

Wyll became a demon due to Mizora's trickery, yet it is very clearly treated like it's not Wyll's fault, it's Mizora's, his abuser.

Gale is not 100% innocent, but Mystra is clearly his abuser, too, due to the chronic pain that the orb is causing him and how it's a danger to him and everyone around him. Mystra tells him to blow himself up and treats him like he's her puppet. live or die, he's nothing to her.

like, what! the! hell! why is Halsin the only one who gets this kind of treatment of his trauma? why doesn't he get a chance to heal, the same way Astarion does? where did all the plot for Halsin's arc go, too?

Halsin deserves fucking better.)

upd: thought I made myself clear, but apparently not: this post is about Halsin. his personality, and trauma, and how they are portrayed compared to other characters. if you want to talk about Minthara, make your own post. also might block me/the anti tag while you're at it.

[charlotteharlatan]

A list (non-exhaustive) of why the 1941 flashback scenes are haunting both me and The Narrative, Part 2:

(link to Part 1)

6. There are additional scenes that point to 1941. The Ritz scene from S1ep6 where they toast “to the world” also echoes the S2ep4 1941 scene, because these are the only two instances where we see Crowley and Aziraphale “cheers” to something with their drinks and then take a sip at the same time - they are also the only two instances where they both consume the same substance at the same time.

(To contrast, look at the Rome flashback from S1ep3, in which they also “cheers” but only Crowley takes a sip of his drink afterwards. In fact, if you watch the entire Rome flashback, there’s never a time when their sips synch up.

I could go off on a whole other tangent about the peculiar significance of “ingesting substances” within Good Omens and how it serves as a direct metaphor for acquiring knowledge/losing innocence, vis a vis Eve and the apple, and Aziraphale with the ox rib, but that would be adding at least a few more paragraphs.)

There’s another element that famously features in the S1ep6 Ritz scene, a piano cover of “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square.” If we operate on the assumption that we’re meant to link these two events as well, then an inference that the song also played a role that night in 1941 now seems less like a leap, and more like a logical step.

7. We also can’t leave out the context clues within the S2 1941 scene itself. I’ve already mentioned the gramophone and the wine, but there’s another element in the scene’s background that seems to be hinting at something:

The lamps. Despite the candles on the table, there are lit lamps in the background. Again, the background is out of focus, but the lamps seem to be human figures, and they appear as though they might be dancing couples. Why have these lights turned on if you have candles lit? Our attention is meant to be drawn to these light fixtures in this moment; it’s possibly more foreshadowing.

(Of course, you could also turn it the opposite way and say the audience is meant to ask: why light candles when the lamps work just fine, for which there is very little explanation other than Aziraphale was actively trying to create romantic ambiance. Which would only add to the suspicion that something more may have happened between them in 1941 that the first two seasons left out.)

8. Chronologically speaking, the next time we see Crowley and Aziraphale together after 1941 is in 1967, when Aziraphale pops in on Crowley in the Bentley. One of the most striking things about the 1967 scene is that the emotional tone has shifted rather dramatically from what it was like at the end of the S2 1941 scene.

There’s awkward tension between them; every line of dialogue carries heavy hidden meaning. The repressed longing is palpable. Crowley is subdued and cautious, and Aziraphale is avoiding Crowley’s eyes and speaking in a stilted voice.

It could just be the subject matter that’s making things awkward - the holy water had been a matter of major contention between them - but there seems to be much more to this tension. We pay a lot of attention to “you go too fast for me, Crowley,” and we should (especially given that when Aziraphale is actually able to look directly at Crowley in this scene, he keeps glancing at his mouth), but there are other bits of dialogue that are important there too.

Crowley offers to drive Aziraphale “anywhere he wants to go” and Aziraphale turns him down. But from information we received in S2, we now know that the bookshop was literally across the street. We are being implicitly told that Crowley is offering a whole lot more than just a drive home, but we are also being primed to recall the last time Crowley actually did give Aziraphale a ride home, the last time they were in the bookshop together. Every context clue is contributing to the sense that we are missing something. The 1941 scene still feels incomplete, like there’s one last installment of it, which sets the stage to revisit it in S3.

9. Returning to the 1967 scene, after Aziraphale hands over the thermos of holy water, Crowley asks whether he should say thank you. Aziraphale responds with a grimace disguised as a polite smile and a rather curt “better not.”

This contrasts to 1941, when Aziraphale attempts multiple times to express gratitude to Crowley for saving him and his books, and for coming through for him at the magic show, including that rather suggestive moment in the Bentley where he insists “there must be something I can do for you…in return.” Why is the idea of expressing gratitude so loaded and weighty, when only twenty years ago (not that long, for them) Aziraphale insisted upon it? Gratitude has always been complicated for the two of them, but now that complexity feels compounded.

It gives extra interest to the moment Aziraphale thanks Crowley for removing the paint stain from his coat in S1ep2. And of course, we know what happens just a bit later in that same episode.

The Wall Slam, which echoes The Kiss, in that Crowley is the one to close the distance between them in both cases, taking Aziraphale by the collar.

It’s interesting to note that there have also been other times when Crowley gets into Aziraphale’s personal space. In the first two minisodes in S2, there are two separate instances of Crowley getting into Aziraphale’s face after the angel accuses him of goodness.

It happens in Job’s courtyard in S2ep2…

…and in the graveyard in S2ep3 after they (well, Crowley mostly) save Elspeth.

This is another of their patterns - Aziraphale acknowledging the good in Crowley, casting doubt on his evilness in a way that gets a rise out of the demon. At first it was unintentional, but Aziraphale tries to bait Crowley in this way multiple times throughout the series, possibly as a way to get physical closeness with him that he doesn’t get otherwise. The time in Job’s courtyard wasn’t intentional, but the time in the graveyard definitely was. Just look at Aziraphale’s pleased, indulgent expression when Crowley is telling him off.

Sometimes this tactic is successful, sometimes it’s not. One could argue that the Wall Slam was an instance in which he was very successful, even more so than he bargained for.

And: he attempts the same thing multiple times in 1941. He does it immediately after the church gets bombed, in the Bentley afterwards, and during their candlelit date. Crowley doesn’t really rise to the bait though. He gets a bit snappish, he dismisses and denies, but he doesn’t get into Aziraphale’s face - and my read of this scene is that you can see Aziraphale’s frustration that it isn’t working.

Aziraphale can be very stubborn when he’s decided to do something, and if he keeps pushing this particular button of Crowley’s to get the response he’s seeking, well. It wouldn’t be the first time. I could definitely see him trying this tactic one more time if we do get a continuation of 1941 in S3, and it potentially working.

There may be a part three to this, as I have a few more related items to discuss. (Shocker, I know.)

[redcr9ssnine]

i do think kankris definition of "trigger" is pretty deeply distorted, i don't think he realizes it's a PTSD/mental health term. considering how anti-negativity beforus is, and also that highbloods are expected to constantly coddle anyone below them both in a systematic sense and in a social coddling silly sense while also being forced to repress any actual anger they may be feeling, i can see "trigger" meaning two different things on beforus (that parallel how they're seen in real life, which is the purpose of beforus in the first place)

Something that deeply deeply upsets a lowerblood troll and sends them into a tantrum that needs to be coddled, typically used in a sense of "oh don't trigger him, i don't want to deal with it." and seen as a sort of ridiculous oversensitivity towards something in lowbloods.

Something that sends a highblood into an improper explosion or negative mindset that can make them more probable to lash out or less likely to coddle those below them and do something violent instead. This is typically seen with more importance because the highbloods can actually do something about it beyond having a "Fit" but it also drastically effects their social credit; it is embarrassing and taboo to have a tantrum as a highblood.

I believe this is why Kankri brings up the slur discourse in regards to Mituna calling Meenah a wader despite it being a class based insult specifically punching upwards. In my interpretation at least, Kankri isn't so much telling Mituna off for hurting the feelings of Meenah, but is telling him off for not being MINDFUL of Meenahs feelings, which could have lead to an undesirable situation if she were triggered. It's his way of warning Mituna to watch his tongue around someone of power, and also why he gets so frustrated when Mituna absolutely refuses to listen.

I think he puts stake into both definitions. He cares for lowbloods who have triggers because he is constantly constantly being categorized as overly sensitive, whiney, and unpleasant for trying to communicate his needs. But due to the fact that he's a red blood and EVERYONES higher than him, he still sees them that way, and has a hard time relating to any of them or wanting to give them his sympathies. Again, Mituna for example, he cares a lot less about triggering Mituna because... Mituna is Mituna. He literally has no power to do anything about it TOWARDS Kankri, but also, Kankri still views him as higher and more privileged than he is, and gets deeply frustrated at Mitunas lack of social graces to keep himself safe, as well as Mitunas refusal to HIDE how disabled he is. He thinks it's pretty insulting that Mituna is implying that anyone cullable or disabled should be THAT incapable of taking care of themselves. (masked autism vs unmasked autism)

But I also think he cares a LOT about triggering highbloods specifically because it can directly impact his safety, and even if he himself has never experienced intense violence due to this (or at least if he has, it was very infrequent) he has constant visions of it through the signless and it fucking terrifies him. He cares a lot about not triggering anyone he thinks could drastically hurt him or impact his life in any way because he thinks if they're triggered they have the full right to do anything to him back in their emotional state. Which I believe is also a mindset encouraged on Beforus.

this is all just high edible ramblings. my point is i think beforus believes that highbloods should have their asses pat so they don't explode and kill everyone, and lowbloods should be placid and have everything done for them because theyre sooooo cute and sooooo helpless and soooooooo stupid. and while kankri doesnt agree with these mindsets he definitely interacts with the world through the lense of beforan politics, assuming everybody else does too. he thinks everybody has the same context that he does, and he doesn't understand that he actaully lacks a signifigant amount of knowledge and perspective

[yujeong]

Pete and the act of crying: Part 1

So, a wonderful discussion yesterday with @wretchedamaranth made me have Pete thoughts (as if I needed an excuse to have Pete thoughts in the first place) and I would like to express them. This time, it's about Pete and how he cries in the show. One incredibly dumb argument against Build's acting by haters was that he wasn't good at crying, that his crying wasn't *believable*. I truly pity these people, because it shows they never understood the intricacies of Pete's character and it's a shame, because Build did such a phenomenal job portraying them. I would like to talk about them. My main point is that Pete cries like a person who hasn't cried in literal years.

Pete's first instance of crying is seen in episode 13, during his breakdown with Vegas, who lashes out at him and holds a knife to his throat, as seen above. Do you see that face? Do you see the pure pain and agony Pete is feeling? And because a picture isn't doing it justice at ALL, he it is in gif form:

DO YOU SEE THIS? DO YOU SEE THE QUIVERING OF HIS LIPS, HIS EYES SQUINTING, HIS BREATH BARELY BEING THERE? DO YOU SEE HIM FIXING HIS JAW, TRYING TO GULP, TRYING TO KEEP IT TOGETHER?

He's looking at Vegas dead in the eye while he's doing it, too. Like he should have known, he should have known this would happen, but why Vegas, why did you give me hope, why did you do this to me? It's so raw and the scene has barely started, I'll be here all day, okay. And then the scene keeps going, and Pete's face is pain personified and then we get his monologue about not being a person, about being nothing, and his face smooths out. That doesn't mean he's back in control, because it's the calm before the storm, before he grabs the knife out of Vegas hand and places it in his throat again.

I'm here staring in awe, because he's still not shed a tear, but he sniffs at some point before grabbing the knife as he's talking, as if there's snot to pull back up, as if he's actually managed to express his grief fully. But he can't do that, his body won't allow that, it doesn't know how, it's been too long. It's fucking perfect. Also, I love how the camera shakes as Pete is giving his monologue, thus subconsciously giving the message that Pete's pretty shaken up right now, if everything else wasn't making it obvious. And then he grabs the knife and the pain multiplies and his face breaks again, way more than before, but the CAMERA IS BLURRED, IT'S NOT SHOWN CLEARLY, not until they show Vegas crying actual tears and apologizing, not until showing Pete's bloody palm.

This is the face we see, after Vegas apologizes:

Now Pete is getting there, the tears are almost spilled, but he's still repressed in his expression of grief and it's glorious because Pete has never experienced these emotions before. Pete has always been passive in his suicidal ideation, he has always let things happen to him that may result in death (a.k.a. his mission for the sake of Porsche) but now he's in such agony that he takes action. And then the scene continues and oh? Are those tears my eyes are seeing?

We got them everybody. After Vegas says, "Don't leave me, I'm begging you," Pete sheds his first tear, and they continue to be shown when Vegas tells him to start over again and Pete is downright offended by the suggestion, as if Vegas means it in a way Pete would want, as if that's even fucking possible for them at all. It's such a spectacular choice editing wise, because I'm pretty confident in my belief that this is from a different take than the other ones before it, due to how suddenly they appear on Pete's face. It fits the scene and the character so well.

Pete is downright sobbing at this point and I'm obsessed with the fact that no more tears are spilled. You can see that throughout the rest of the scene, as well as this moment in which he's breaking down in Vegas' arms after he says he'll remove the handcuff indirectly, while directly asking Pete to promise him he won't leave him.

HOW DO PEOPLE SEE THIS AND THINK BUILD DOESN'T CRY WELL? LOOK AT HIM!!! LOOK AT HOW DEVASTATED HE IS, LOOK AT HOW CONFLICTED HE FEELS ABOUT WHAT HE'S ABOUT TO DO, LOOK AT THE PAIN!!! He doesn't NEED to sob and cry ugly, snotty tears for it to work because that's not who Pete IS. He's not Vegas, he doesn't even allow himself to grieve what he's losing here properly. Have you ever had an instance in which you feel like crying, and you want to cry, but you're so numb that the tears just aren't coming? You're trying to push it out, you're trying super hard to get to the point when you'll be able to break down and seek relief from this crashing feeling in your chest, but your eyes are as dry as the Sahara desert? Well, I feel that this is happening to Pete here, except he doesn't even know it's happening to him. I'm fucking obsessed with this scene, it's my second favorite VP moment after the pill kiss, and one of the main reasons is the one that made me make this post. It's so tragic and beautifully relatable and I love it so, so much. I wanted to analyze all of Pete's crying scenes, but it'll make the post larger than a fucking book at this point, so I'll touch upon the other ones in a different one.

[cyberdragoninfinity]

Hello, I've been enjoying your Arc-V reactions so much. I had a question since you called Yuya your favorite protagonist, do you have some like deeper character analysis thoughts on him? I feel like I had a strong grasp of his character in season 1, but in seasons 2 and 3 I don't think I understood well what the writers were going for with him, other than he's extremely repressed because both parents told him he's never allowed to get angry or cry and express any negative emotions.

WAH THANK YOU apologies this took ten thousand years to get to..late june/july is always busy for my art fightin' ass

ANYWAY IVE BEEN HMMING AND PONDERING OVER THIS FOR A WHILE and like. i think the tricky thing with yuya is that, well, i don't think the WRITERS even fully had a grasp on what they wanted to go for with him in the later seasons (and/or what they wanted to do with arc-v's themes. and the plot. and the all of it lmao) so it really is a bit of a 'there's multiple reads you can have on this character and while not all of 'em are right, not all of 'em are probably wrong either'; the narrative frankly doesn't have a strong enough backbone for like the entire second half to put full conviction into one definite read. Great news for guys who like to think way too much about yugioh characters!! Less great news for "trying to actually grasp wtf the actual honest to god true intent of the writing was" 🥴

All that on the table and now aside, let's talk about the little unwell tomato of the hour. First I do think it's a bit misleading to say Yuya's especially repressed, per say--there's an element of unconscious ignoring/avoidance to repression, and let's be real this kid is certainly not ignoring his negative emotions. The negative emotions are beating his ass. He is spending half the series having catastrophic emotional meltdowns and veering directly into sobs and explosive rage outbursts and feeling Bad almost constantly. I think with him it's more an instance of him having just an absolute pisspoor handling on his emotional regulation... because yeah his parents have been giving him terrible self-help advice for years </3

I don't think theyve necessarily told him he's not allowed to be sad/get angry/express negative emotions--instead it's more of a case where (with Yusho especially) Yuya's being told if he DOES feel sad or upset, then that needs to be met with a smile in order to truly push past it and to feel better, i.e. if you fake the laughter then it will become genuine laughter and youll be a-ok and HAPPY!! YAY HAPPY ^_^ (yusho you cant fucking say that to your coughing baby who's also a hydrogen bomb!!!! oh god!!!!)

arc-v is Very into this idea of illustration emotions as through the metaphor of a pendulum (huh wonder why) especially like.... 'when you're crying, laugh instead, and that will swing your emotions back around again into positive ones' and 'if you're courageous and confident and push through feeling upset, that courage will swing back and turn into happiness.' which is like... IT'S ALMOST SOMETHING. THEYRE ALMOST SAYING SOMETHING MEANINGFUL. BUT YUYA IS SUCH A BAD MAIN CHARACTER TO EMBODY THIS THEMATIC CONCEPT. he's neurotic and kind of not particularly brave and wretchedly insecure and again his emotional regulation is complete dogwater and he's not a very good, confident duelist (or showman even) and so on and so forth. And the problem I think is as you get into season 2 and 3 the stakes keep getting higher and urgent but Yuya doesn't really like.... Grow very much in those aforementioned areas. They just start piling more and more insane shit on him and then it's not just his dad telling him to smile more but also like half the rest of the cast and the narrative itself BUT THERE NEVER GETS TO BE A MOMENT WHERE LIKE. THAT MANTRA FEELS EARNED, FOR YUYA. The writers reeeeally really want him to be this embodiment of laughter and always swinging back around to smile in the face of adversity but most of the moments we see them trying to make Yuya out to be this in the show, where his dueling brings smiles to everyone and ends classism and makes the bad guys nice immediately, they just feel kind of....fake. ive mentioned before how the end of arc-v feels like a fake tumblr post but alongside that a lot of season 2/3's writing for yuya feels like the exaggerated parody of steven universe that su critical blogs in 2015 were convincing themselves existed. and don't get me wrong it's fucking hysterical, I think it's hilarious yuya fixed arc-v aster in like two duels and now he's not an authoritarian child soldier anymore, but we do have to also Be So Serious.

sorry i just needed to post CHILL OUT ON THE GLOOM AND DOOM :/ again. this aster definitely has killed people but it's fine yuya fixed him. he's fine.

IMO It's hard to get a grasp on/understand Yuya's character in the later half of the series cuz yuya's character is so weighed down with these big idealistic themes the show didn't actually put any work towards getting him on a narratively satisfying track to fulfill them. He spends like 2/3s of season two literally locked in rooms astral projecting every so often like COME ON. and season 3 much like a lot of arc-v ALMOST GETS THERE. ALMOST SAYS SOMETHING, WITH YURI AND WITH ZARC. What happens when someone's happiness comes about from pain and violence? What happens when a smile is full of malice? That could be such a cool opportunity to explore the pitfalls of the pendulum emotion metaphor the show sets up, how that can be twisted into something harmful, but. well. that's not what we got huh :,)

anyway all that to say i think yuya's a sweet kid who has such a genuinely big heart and is a really interesting character, but it's almost this sort of key feature of his that he's really not a terribly happy person despite the smiley emoji-shaped hole the show's plot tries to jam him into (and cuz of that there's just so much dissonance in that that makes his whole deal kind of murky when all is said and done.) he's really a character that just has nonstop shit Happening to him whether he wants it to or not and it's kind of insane how little agency he has for like... So Much of the Show. He's made into a mouthpiece for Smile Away Da Pain and like.... for what? [arc-v spoilers if it matters] at the end of the series the other three yuboys are effectively dead and soul-absorbed and don't come back and it's like. you cant Smile World that loss away, arc-v. yknow?

i have no idea what my point was anymore, it is very late haha. LOVE YUYA. THEY COULD HAVE SAID SOME REALLY THOUGHT PROVOKING SHIT WITH HIM. AND YET !

[dreamsofminnie]

“Ethereal Paintings”

21~ Stage one denial☔️

Scaramouche x Reader Smau | Word Count: 1.2k

Pounding thumps on the front door were surprisingly nonstop for the past half an hour. Each 15 knocks were different paced every 5 minutes, as if there has been switching the knocker five times. You were glad the door didn’t allow voices to be heard from the other side, only vibrations directly placed on the door itself.

Many “No ones hommee..e…” and “No knocking plea..see.” were mumbled softly from your mouth.

Dinnertime might’ve been over by now. You couldn't tell with how you’ve been practically living on the floor in the main studio area right between the stairs towards your bedroom, and the front door, none which you had energy to get up and go to.

Luckily the kitchen counter was just several scoots away, set with a mini fridge, water boiler and a microwave.

“Refuse contact…don’t want it.”

You didn’t know when the knocks soon dispersed. But you knew they would be back the next day at the same hour.

illumi already gave up on boosting your mood and rather play with the paint brushes that dried up in your spiritless state.

Your large window wall was half covered by the thin blinds, forbidding the blinding and healthy rays of sunshine from entering anywhere near your already damaged and baggy eyes.

To be completely honest; you have only ever showered every two days or even further till you really needed it. Only because it was way too much work to take care of your needs…And all the way upstairs.

Denial was your resistance, the only way you wanted to live at the moment. And the powerlessness in your body is what the effect was.

Even forgetting those online classes you promised to attend, your mind, body and soul were in disarray.

The only routine you held was the mindless paintings you mass-produced over these weeks, as a non-functioning coping mechanism.

And the routine you did when the sky outside the glass walls were dimming, reach for your blanket and pillow, lay on the sofa bed and stare at the paintings for hours till your eyes shut on its own.

That was only day 2 of being exposed to Scaramouche’s crime against you.

The other days weren’t as end-of-the-world-health-threatening.

☔️☔️☔️☔️

Sharp taps on the black table were the only thing heard in the lonely room. The shaking of a leg bouncing up and down began soon after.

Impatient as he is, the impulsive actions he exhibits weren’t half his show of anxiety.

Four grown men sat on the bed behind him in a row on the edge of his bed. Two sat on the floor, well.., one sat and the other was sprawled across the ground.

For the man Scaramouche, aka. Kabukimono, aka. the man who is curling himself into a ball of nerves, was sitting at his computer screen discarding every single A.I.-produced image he ever held—correcting a mistake he should’ve repressed a whole long ago.

A string of curses leaves his soured lips, his eyebrows furrowing even more than possible. “When did I fucking download these onto google drive?!? You bitch!! Prime fucking ass.”

“PFTT!!”

“When was the last time we ever saw i-give-no-fucks-Scara?”

“Just last year. What are you on Venti..” Albedo kicks the one spread across the floor with his criss-cross legs.

“Green tea crepe—cakes!~” Tighnari wanted to step on Venti’s head rolling across the floor, if only he was closer…

“I made that cake for Ayato but you just HAD to get your grubby hands on it.” Tighnari motioned Albedo to kick him again, or to use Venti as a seat instead of the hard floor.

“Mercy–!!!”

Sounds of constant clicking and idle chatter was keeping the room occupied as the only one working hard was deadly silent. Minus the vulgar curses at the poor computer.

Ayato flipped through pages of the stack of documents he fingered through. He was indeed busy but wouldn’t miss this rare one-in-a-lifetime redemption arc in his favorite drama show.

“Kazuha. What do you think about the health department?” He didn’t look up from the papers as Kazuha answered.

“Hm? I think they can do much better.” Kazuha has been assisting Ayato with some of his work since Ayato thought his ideals and views were quite insightful.

“Very good. But I meant health inspectors. There are ones who come to the boba shop and stay long for the knowledge of our traditional japanese cleaning facilities. And now I have 27 health check placks…”

Kazuha laughed at the ridiculousness at the entirety of it. “Maybe just hang them all up to drive away any other incoming health inspector.”

Ayato hummed at that suggestion in agreeance and scribbled onto the documents to save for later. Kazuha points out more points to add.

Kaveh, the one closest to Scara and helping him, leans back on one hand behind him as he scrolls though his phone mindlessly. “Remember to delete those off your twitter. Hmn now the account has no such purpose…best to get rid of it!”

“I know that!!! Shut up!”

“Hey, I'm trying to help!!”

“What help do you provide if you tell me things I am actively conscious of.” He swivels in his chair and violet eyes burn in unbridled anger and pain at Kaveh directly sitting behind him.

A beat of awkward and tense silence fills the dimly lit room.

“Scaramouche. We know you are panicking in trying to scrape up the pieces of your torn relationship—”

Ayato looks up from his papers and tries to catch his glare that only burned straight through Kaveh who avoided his gaze sweating profusely.

“—but that's why we have all managed time here to help you recuperate. And not once have you asked for help. What else would you rather us do here than try and reach to help you.”

Scaramouche darts his eyes to Ayato at the head of his bed. His teeth clenched together. They all knew Scaramouche had too much pride and ego for him to ask for help. Others have to actively put help in front of him for Scara to take it.

The chair swivels back to the desk, stiff and unmoving like the walls Scaramouche has once again built over and over.

His friends behind him internally sigh, they lost Scara to his obstinate personality once again.

“Then help me in another area.”

As unyielding defines his personality Scara doesn’t like his personal affairs meddled in the hands of others– “WHAT!?”

Those words shook everyone who stared at his back with mouths agape and eyes widened.

“Were the crepe cake poisonous??!? Did Scara-dookie ask for help?!?!” Venti jumped up from the floor in a scramble.

“Say that again. I dare you.”

Despite the usual venom, Scaramouche’s hands rested on either side of his drooped head, hiding any peeping views of his expressions.

“I dare you second.” Tighnari knocked Venti’s head at the thought of him thinking his cake could ever be poison, then turned to Scaramouche.

“You mean what to do with Y/n right? Since you got figured out.” They could see the tiniest of nods from his posture.

“Weelll, since she basically exposed your ass with a 5-foot diagram of every opposing thing you’ve ever done to offend her…..you have the slimmest chance of recovery.”

Scaramouche slammed his chair into the desk with how fast he turned around. The desperation and anguish in his face conquered any trace of fear or hesitance in confronting you.

Albedo smirked in attracting his full attention and determination. “But of course, you have much more chances when you have this much support from your friends.”

With everyone’s smiles on him, Scaramouche has never felt this much supportive feelings of warmth.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Synopsis{3}-> Scara decided to stop his a.i art creations when he realized that you are really his fav artist—as long as you were the one to teach him how to paint and draw. Facing multitudes of slip of the tongue from your friends; you figured out that he was your mortal nemesis; hatred brewed and twisted your view on him.

• give it up for Season 3 woooo

• sobssogb the smau is halfway done omngh😱

• proud but sad

//Taglist//

@akagism2 @pokidot @feiherp @kyouzki @rmiyuki @infe-risk0 @sakurapeach @bluebelony @kichiyoshi @mikctp @kur44pika @cupids-chamber @crucnhice @neigesprincess @scaramoo @gojoandelsalovechilde @childeslegstrap @sakiimeo @d4y-dr3am3r @m3gitsune @scarletttcroww @sashiette @beriiov @rizakari @xiaossocksniffer @lxry-chxn @bryai003 @eunchaeluvr @goj0h @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @sketcheeee @ozzierenato @ohmyfinggod @kiyomi-hoku @hutaosbootao @ynverse @featuredtofu @reinoodle @angeilix @yxcade

[pip-n-chips]

aa hello this is info about my DoL PC, currently unnamed but their nickname rn is pipsqueak!

it's all going under the cut because it's a lot, may add more to this in the future

nonbinary (they/them) and androgynous, has a vag, flat chest

cute small thing :) 5'0 tall. is often underestimated due to their looks (people think they're an easy target. sometimes the people are right, but that doesn't mean they won't try to put up a fight) not quite scrawny but not visibly strong either

often overestimates how strong they are but they eventually learn pack a mean punch! doesn't use weapons, but would consider brass knuckles if they ever got their hands on one. (note: they're not a skilled fighter by any means. they just do whatever it takes. a lot of the time they don't know when to quit)

very vocal with emotions like anger, but when talking about other genuine emotions, they find difficulty wording and understanding them. more expressive when it comes to people they really like or really hate

usually kind to strangers! you have to get on their bad side

hates hates HATES being seen as weak, often picks fights or tries to be in a position of control, but usually has it taken away anyway. they don't know how to act when control is taken away from them, sometimes they freeze, sometimes they lash out, etc...

tends to do drastic and impulsive things as a result, puts themself in harms way (physical/mentally/emotionally) a lot but wouldn't like... Injure themself directly? but they make a lot of stupid decisions

that being said, they ARE a sadist + masochist,,, so sometimes it's intentional. gives them a thrill

oh also. they bite! they love biting :) good defense, but mainly it's the oral fixation. they like to gnaw on things, they have a nail biting habit. would enjoy sucking stuff too, but most things people put in their mouth will be bitten if they're sober (likes lollipops :D)

sexually repressed, confused, the doctor is working on it though <3

seduction level is so low it's embarrassing LMAO they just Hope it works. doesn't flirt often though due to little interest or loss of words. gets excitable about certain topics though (example: violence)

inexperienced with sex. or er- consensual sex. if they're bested or unable to fight, they usually refuse to cooperate, or if they have to they're very very unhappy. oftentimes, if they're getting fucked, they hide their face because they don't want to be seen like that, also tries to suppress their moans. depends how well it works, but if they end up unable to hide it they make these cute gasps and whimpers <3 squeezes their eyes shut if they're being vocal like that, but tries to keep their eyes open to glare or look away

if they were to have consensual sex they'd have no idea what to fucking do. they don't do oral much because they're always biting, so they'd have no idea how to start and would be super awkward and unsure about it (same goes with other things) (someone would have to teach them hehe)

when they lose their virginity, it hits them HARD. they feel ruined. partially because they're (usually) an initiate at the temple and they feel impure (vague religious guilt eats away at them in the very back of their mind), but it also comes back to their whole thing about control. it's like they lost the one sign that they were doing well at surviving in this fucking town, and now they don't know what to do

has trouble with intimacy, but is an absolute sweetheart if they're broken out of their shell enough (or broken in general dskjfn)! sometimes they get shy,,,

SO FUCKING TOUCH STARVED. GOD. they like headpats/strokes (it makes them weak in the knees. do it when they're vulnerable and they'll lean into it). they also like getting gifts, it's one of their love languages (bribery DOES work on them- works the best if it's not outright stated though)

does... fine in school grades-wise. skips a lot during certain months due to work (or crime) (or they got kidnapped. again.) (etc) they do really wish they were better at it. they catch up a lot in the asylum

despite wanting to be their own person, they still bend to Bailey's will. they work hard for rent and exhaust themself and seethe in silence until they try to take Bailey on (and lose) they have complicated feelings about Bailey

jobs change a lot, but their main one atm is being an office temp! it exhausts them. pulls the fight out of them and they just seethe silently throughout the day. also they keep getting fucking stuck in things and people keep molesting them. they restrain themself

when they get more desperate and tired of it all, they start to do crime. it's what they enjoy the most, money-making wise lol

they try to stick to a schedule, they really do. they need consistent money, and they need education, but it all gets too much and too stale so, again, they get impulsive. the worse their mental health is the more spontaneous they are

ignores their feelings and trauma to power through most of the time, until they reach a breaking point

lies to look better ("i won that fight" "i'm doing well in this class" etc lol)

at school people think they're weird but most stay away due to their combat fame. people love to gang up on them or take advantage when they're trapped though, it's a rare treat :) god forbid they want a blowjob, though...

doesn't have many friends, can count them on one hand. doesn't mind being on their own, though (they do) (they won't admit it)

needs glasses but doesn't wear them (doesn't like 'em. insists they're fine without it), bad enough to give them headaches, but that's probably combined with the side effect from harper's meds. they take separate medication for their headaches

also i dont have an official reference sheet but here's a compilation of what they look like

the tank top and shorts is their default outfit but I'm working on making them wear cuter clothes hehe,,

edit: OH ALSO they have an in-character RP blog but I'm still getting a hang of how they talk, it's @frooty-punch