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serenefify · 1 month

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Synopsis: Years had passed since you successfully nullified all contracts and left Hell behind. Now, living a decent of a normal life once more, you found yourself returning to your cozy abode after another long day of work.

{{What in 'hell' is bad?}} Pair: Kings/You

{{Potential}} Trigger Warning: Religious/Biblical reference, Vague mention of obsession/possessiveness, OOC

🎗️Author's note: Sorry for the lack of post lately.

Entering your room, you carelessly tossed your belongings to the side before slumping down onto your bed. With a heavy sigh, you felt an exhaustion wash over you as your eyelids growing heavy with fatigue. Just as you were about to succumb to sleep, a strange scent tickled your nostrils, jolting you awake.

Your gaze landed on a card—no, a letter, sitting on your table but, who could it be from?

Would you dare to read it?

Satan:

A crimson card, adorned with a delicate white ribbon wrapped around it, secured by small horn-shaped stickers attached to the front. It wasn't overly extravagant, yet it certainly wasn't ordinary either; it sit somewhere in between. Nestled beside the card was a photo.

Hey [[Name]],

So, I figured I'd drop you a letter. Not sure what I'm gonna ramble about, but hey, why not, right?

Anyway, let's cut the crap. Since your bailed on Hell, things have been kinda messy around here. Not like "oh no, angels are attacking us again" messy, but more like... weird, you know?

I swung by Avisos the other day, and on the surface, everything seemed chill. People still living it up, having a blast. But there's this underlying gloominess, you know? Like something's off. Haven't heard anything from their kings, either. Same deal with Tartaros. Usually, those devils are all about flaunting their stuff, strutting around Gehenna like they own the place. But lately, they've been keeping to themselves, especially Mammon. That bastard practically isolated himself these days.

And speaking of isolation, that wet blanket is even more distant than usual. Him and his people are getting pretty hostile towards outsiders. Rumor has it they've even closed off their gate to visitors. Paradise Lost is living up to its name, with Lucifer being more of a hardass than ever. Heard him muttering under his breath a lot, the past meeting with him..

Anyway, not much else to report. I don't exactly have a habit of letter-writing, y'know?

So, how's life treating you up there on Earth? I know your time in Hell wasn't exactly a walk in the park, but I hope you're finding something to kill your time. If not with us, then at least enjoy the grub and swag they're hooking you up with.

Alright, that's all I got. Hope you haven't chucked this letter in the trash yet.

Catch you later,

Satan

Mammon:

A golden card, lavishly adorned with shimmering ornaments adorning its edges. Crafted from crisp, molten gold-hued paper. A delicate ribbon, flush with golden dust, cascades from its side, leaving a trail of particles with each brush against your skin. Nestled beside the card lies an open box of jewels.

My Esteemed Master,

Since your departure from Hell, I have found myself rather... what is the word I am searching for? Ah, yes, lonely. These past days, or perhaps decades. It almost felt like mere moments since you left for the human world.

I pen this letter because I find myself truly missing your presence, Master. Though you made your intentions clear from the start, and I fully understood them, your absence has left a void within me. Is the wealth not sufficient? Does the structure of my domain not meet your expectations? Or perhaps I have failed to fully satisfy you? At times, a thought plagued at the back of my mind—to carve your name into my flesh, to signify that I'm truly yours.

But- Forgive me for indulging in such thoughts, Master. I fear I may have become too forward. I simply cannot help but express the depth of my longing for you.

The time you spent here in Tartaros, though brief, was among the most enjoyable moments of my existence. I must confess, I have never felt such attachment to another being. Not even Solomon grow such sentiments from me. There is something about you that captivates me unlike any other. I vividly recall your first arrival in Tartaros; it was then that I knew you were a being worthy of becoming the master of the Monarch of Tartaros.

My apologies for my ramblings, Master. I found myself yearning to write more, but I restrained myself, knowing your preference for brevity. Nevertheless, I implore you to consider my words and understand that you are sorely missed here in Tartaros.

Yours faithfully,

Mammon

#🎗️.admin writing #what in “hell” is bad?#whb x reader

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l1tw1ck · 2 years

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Whore of an Adeptus

Xiao would do anything to prevent Morax from seeing those pictures, even if it meant letting you fuck him silly

FTM!Xiao x Top!Male Reader

Blackmailing the Pretty Boys Series

Warnings: Xiao Consents But Doesn't Want To Do It, Objectification, Orgasm Denial, Corruption, Daddy Kink, Voyeurism, Sexual Coercion, Manipulation, Mating Press

Words: 1,111

"Xiao. I've got almond tofu!" You call out to him on the balcony of Wangshu Inn.

Xiao appears next to you and takes the almond tofu. "State your purpose." He demands.

"Look familiar?" You show him a picture of him masturbating. From the picture, it looked like it was his first time.

Xiao's eyes widen and he quickly snatches the picture out of your hand. He destroys it instantly.

"Oh no worries." You smile. "I've got copies." You pull out a copy of the picture.

"What do you want?" He asks, voice shaking.

"Let's talk in your room, yeah?"

Xiao grumbles and allows you to enter his room.

"So what do you want?" He asks again.

"I want your body." You reply. Xiao sighs in relief, if it was just something like that he could do it easily.

"What should I do? Fight? Lift?"

You laugh, making Xiao tense up again. "No, I mean I want to have sex with you."

His heart drops and his blood runs cold. "I...Re- refuse."

"Okay. Then I could just show Morax, or Zhongli, the picture. I bet he'd be pretty shocked to see that." You shrug.

Xiao's face flushes red, just the thought of it had him embarrassed. He could never let Morax see that picture.

"You don't want him to see it, do you?" You tilt your head.

"No! Please don't show him!" He shakes his head. He didn't even question how you knew his identity, he was mortified by the idea of being exposed to his master.

"Then strip and bend over." You command. Xiao immediately removes his clothes and crawls onto the bed and bends over for you, it's like he was made to take orders.

He'd do anything to prevent Morax from finding out, even if it meant stripping naked and letting you have your way with him. He values his approval and love over anything else.

His breath becomes uneven when he hears your belt drop to the floor. He knew he had to be strong though. He couldn't kill you so he had no other choice.

"You don't seem like you touch yourself often, am I right?" You rub two of your fingers against Xiao's pussy.

He shook his head, legs about to give in. "That...was my first time."

"Looked like it. But you enjoyed yourself anyway, huh? I also have footage of you coming on your fingers." Without warning, you shoved your fingers into his cunt.

"Ah!" Xiao yelps in surprise. You had pretty big fingers and he was scared to find out the thickness of your cock.

"Your first orgasm must've felt good." You angle your fingers in a way where you hit his g-spot.

"N-not the~ there~!" He moans.

"Feels good?" You smirk, hitting his sweet spot over and over.

"Mm~" He buries his head into his pillow, not wanting to answer. You move your other hand to his dicklit, teasing it.

"No~!" He arches his back, he was going crazy from the stimulation.

"Gonna cum?" You coo.

"Aah~!" His legs shake as squirts on your fingers. He struggles to regain his breath as you pull your fingers out of him. You were unbelievably hard after seeing that.

"Get ready." You warn, prodding your dick against his hole.

Xiao buries his head into the pillow once again, preparing for the pain. You hiss as you bottom out in him.

"I feel lucky. I'm the first one to fuck this pussy." You rub his ass, staying still and allowing him to get used to your size. "Maybe even the last."

Xiao whimpers, he wanted anything but to have you as his first time let alone last. He prayed you would get bored of him and get rid of the evidence.

You start moving at a fast pace, forcing Xiao to grip the sheets for some sort of stability.

He didn't want to admit it but Archons, it felt good. All his worries were slipping away, he was going dumb from your dick pounding into him like he's nothing but a sex doll. And maybe all he wanted to be was a sex doll, a dumb doll used only for your pleasure.

"I- I- Ooh~!" Xiao cries out as he feels his orgasm coming.

"Gonna cum again? I don't know if you deserve to, I haven't even cum yet." You slow your thrusts.

"No! No! (Name) Please!" Xiao begs.

"Call me daddy sweetheart." You pet his head.

"Daddy! Please let me cum!"

"You like being fucked by me?" You ask.

"Yes! I love it! Please keep fucking me!" Xiao nods desperately. You grin, going at a harder pace than before.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Xiao's eyes roll to the back of his head as he feels his orgasm come back. "Aah~!" He squirts again and his body becomes limp. That doesn't stop you from fucking him though.

"Fuck–" You groan, enjoying the way Xiao tightened around your dick. "Close-"

"Yes!" Xiao exclaims. "Cum in- inside me, daddy~! Turn m- me in- into yo- your fuck- fucking seh- sex doll~!"

You come instantly after hearing his words.

"You're just a little whore huh?"

"I'm a whore!" Xiao agrees.

"Want daddy to give you more?" You ask.

"Please!" Xiao nods. Forget what he said before, he definitely wanted you to be his last.

You smirk as you flip him over. You grab his legs and position him into a mating press. "I'll make you into a goddamn sex doll alright." You say before sliding into him again. You didn't even give him a second to adjust, you just started pounding into him with no remorse or concern for him. Just how he wanted it to be.

Xiao's fucked out face was a sight to behold, it only gave you more reason to destroy his cunt.

"More~! More~!" He starts drooling. "Aah~! Daddy~!"

Who knew Xiao would turn out to be such a slut. You were expecting him to fight back in some way but now he's just a bitch in heat. Your bitch in heat.

"So good~!" He bites his lip. "Ooh~ co- coming~!" He squirts over your shirt.

"Goddamn slut–" You grunt.

Xiao becomes unable to say a coherent word, just endless 'ah's and 'ooh's slip from his mouth as you fuck him to your release.

He was definitely overwhelmed from orgasming 3 times and being fucked through his second and third. Despite that he still wanted you to keep fucking him.

"About to– nngh-" You groan, unable to say anything else before you cum.

You try to pull out but Xiao traps you with his legs. He wanted more and hey, who were you to deny him?

#top male reader #male reader #xiao smut #genshin impact #genshin impact smut #genshin smut #xiao x male reader #genshin xiao #wicks🕯works #dark content #genshin x reader #🕯xiao #🕯️xiao #🕯️Genshin

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worldserasingandcreatinginmymind · 7 months

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Bloody Beetle | Part Five

Summary: you journey into the tomb with Steven and Layla, but will you get to Ammit before Harrow gets to you...

Pairing: Steven/Marc x Reader, Layla x Reader, Harrow x Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Heka priests, deaths (I’m sorry 😭), Harrow being Harrow

A/N: as always spelling and grammar are not my strongest skills so please be kind :)

Part Four | Series Masterlist

- - - - -

“Y/N!” the British voice you didn’t realise you’d missed so much. “Y/N, oh thank God!”

You crawl out from under the bed and you just about have time to get to your feet before he’s pulling you in for the tightest hug you’ve ever received. You let yourself sink into his embrace for just a second before pulling away.

“Are you alright?” He starts to anxiously ramble “I thought you were dead-”

“You can drop the act. I know who you really are, Marc Spector. Harrow explained it all to me. He told me you were a mercenary and that everything the police said in the car that night, about how you killed people… It’s all true. And that’s why you pretended to be Steven. Pretended to be my friend-

"I AM your friend..."

"A friend wouldn't have just given Harrow the scarab and left me behind."

“No no no, Y/N, that’s not what happened at all. I lost the scarab while being chased out of there by a jackal that he summoned! I tried to get to you, so did Layla. I would never just leave you." He reaches out for you but you back away. “Please, you have to believe me!”

“I don't know what to believe anymore.” You say sadly.

“Y/N…” he stops talking, his eyes rolling back and when he looks at you again he’s completely different. “Y/N, I don't have time right now but I promise I will tell you the truth.”

“Marc..? What just happened?”

“We need to stop Harrow first and then I will explain everything. I promise.” Marc is interrupted by Maya running back into the tent, her gun aimed at him.

“You need to leave!” She says, trying to sound threatening but you can see pure panic in her eyes.

"Maya, its okay." You try to calm her. "Just put the gun away."

"I can't. Harrow- he'll be so mad at me. This isn't supposed to be happening-" Maya rambles, but when Marc moves slightly she refocuses on him. "You have to leave!"

“No, I think you should leave.” Layla says as she sneaks in behind Maya and yanks the gun straight out her hand. Maya runs and Layla sees you. She looks just as surprised as Steven had. “Y/N! You look good for someone who's supposed to be dead.”

“What are you talking about? Why would you think I was dead?"

"Because that's what Harrow is telling people." Marc says.

"Bu why would lie about that?"

“Because that's just what he does. He lies and manipulates people. which is one of the reasons we have to get to Ammit’s ushabti before he does.”

— — — —

The three of you make your way outside just in time to see Maya disappear down into the tomb.

“Shit, she’ll warn Harrow that we’re here.” Layla says as you run to the dig site. “Ah.” She says once you get to there.

“What's the problem?” Marc asks.

“I wasn’t expecting Y/N to be with us, I only have two harnesses. I can go find another?”

“No, it’s alright. That will take too long. Harness me up and I’ll carry her down with me.”

“Are you sure?” You say, anxiety rippling through you.

“Yeah, it’s not that far down. We’ll be fine.”

Layla gets her harness on then helps Marc get into his. As she's tightening his straps you see his eyes roll like they did before and notice his whole posture change again.

“I have to say, I feel like I’ve been waiting for this my whole life.” Steven's voice says as Layla helps him tighten the straps on his harness, completely unfazed by his changed accent. “The adventure, I mean.”

“We want what we’ve never had.” She finishes preparing his harness and gets ready. “I’m gonna go down first. Before I belay.”

“Right, yeah… what’s belay?” Steven asks, and Layla laughs.

“I still can’t tell when you're joking or not.” She says before clipping rope to the front of her harness and disappearing down the shaft. Steven looks at you.

“Belay?” He says, and you shrug.

“I have no idea.” You half laugh. “Are you sure you can do this?”

“It’ll be fine.” He says, not at all convincingly. He copies Layla, attaching the rope to the front of his harness then gestures for you to come over. You awkwardly put your arms around his neck and he lifts you. Its surprises you how strong he is. He cradles you to him and takes a breath before taking a step. But as he reaches the edge, his foot slips and you both tumble down into the darkness. Steven’s body acts as an air bag as he hits the ground, still holding you tightly. You land with a thud in a cloud of dust and sand. It takes you a moment to realise your lying on top of Steven, your face less than an inch away from his.

“Are you okay?” Layla asks, rushing over and helping you up.

“Yeah, I think so.” You reply, turning to give Steven a hand. “Steven?”

“I’m aces.” He says, grunting as he gets to his feet. “I wish you hadn’t seen that… oh wow, look at you.”

You look at him and realise he’s looking past you. You turn to see the huge ancient sculptures behind you, similar to the ones you used to see every day in the museum. Only these ones weren’t made out of polystyrene just to decorate an exhibition. This is the real deal.

“Oh yeah, they’re gorgeous.” Layla agrees. “Just standing guard for centuries!”

“Right! Look I can’t even…” Steven looks like all his Christmas came at once, he’s so excited. You can’t help but feel happy for him, and wonder if what Harrow said could be true. Could he really fake being this excited. “If they just sprang to life right now and asked me a riddle for passage I’d be thrilled! I’d shit myself, but id be thrilled.”

You and Layla exchange a look, silently laughing at the adorable dork in the room.

Once Steven finished fangirling over the reality of where you were right now, the three of you started to make your way further into the tomb.

“Strange.” Steven says quietly as you follow the winding corridors.

“It’s a maze.” Layla says.

“It’s a-maze-ing.” Steven jokes and you roll your eyes, but secretly want to laugh at his little pun. He is fully loving life right now.

“No, like there are six paths.” Layla explains. She bends down, picking up bullets left on the ground. “What would they be shooting at?”

“Six points.” Steven mumbles to himself, ignoring Layla's question about the bullets as he starts to draw something in the sand. “This whole structure is a symbol.”

You and Layla join Steven and look at what he’s drawn. You recognise it from one of the books in the museum.

“That’s the eye of Horus, right?” You ask.

“The royal symbol of protection in the afterlife.” Steven agrees.

“I mean, the resources needed to build this thing!” Layla realises, “Her final avatar was a pharaoh.”

“Woah!” Steven breathes “A bloody pharaoh!”

“You think it’s a map?” You ask.

“Yeah well… the eye of Horus is also the eye of mind yeah? Representing the six senses, six points. So you got the eyebrow that denotes thoughts. Pupil, sight, obviously. This point here is hearing. Smell. Touch. And this long line ending in a spiral is the tongue.”

“The avatar would be Ammit’s voice.” Layla suggests, and Steven nods.

“That’s right.”

You follow them further into the tomb, to a dark room with a sort of stone table in the middle. Layla shines her torch around the walls, revealing ancient drawings on them.

“Heka priests! Judging by their masks and ceremonial stance. They would have been entombed in here to protect the pharaoh. Sorcerers of their time. They’ve been down here for centuries.” She moves her torch to shine on mummified figures in the wall. “These must be some of the unlucky souls who crossed their path.”

You shine your torch at the stone table.

“Oh my God.” Steven gags. “Oh God, is that fresh blood? Little chunks of meaty bits?”

Layla crouches down to examine blood covered jars and tools before saying “Let’s keep moving.”

You start walking towards the exit but when Steven puts his arm out to stop you, you notice the blood trail leading to a pile of bones.

“Just a minute.” Steven says, any excitement he previously had now replaced by fear. “Im just stating what I see, and I see lots of bones and blood going that way. So I’m just thinking like, what if there’s another…” he shines his torch around the room, stopping and pointing up. “There’s an opening up there. You see that? Should we check it out?”

“Alright, you go.” Layla says and Steven starts climbing up to the platform. “Go with him? So he doesn’t fall again.” She asks you with a smirk and you nod. The floorboards creak as you pull yourself up, following Steven.

“So according to ancient text, Ammit should be bound to an ushabti, those statue thingies.” He says as you look around. Steven starts rambling again about all the amazing ancient things he’s seeing, but Layla reminds him he’s supposed to be looking for an exit. “Oh yeah, yeah we can go this way.”

The sound of guns firing makes you all jump.

“Harrow.” You whisper.

“What are they shooting at?” Steven asks.

“I don't know.” Layla starts, but stops when she hears a clicking sound.

“Hide, hide!” Steven frantically whispers as he helps you find somewhere to shelter. You peer over the side and see Layla duck down behind the stone table as a figure enters the room, dragging a body behind it. The thing lifts the body up onto the table and you realise it’s one of Harrow’s people, the male police officer. He’s half awake and groaning as the thing that dragged him in reaches over and picks up one of the sharp tools from the side. It lifts it in the air and plunges it down into the mans body with a squelch. You cover your mouth and look away, over at Steven who looks just as horrified. You look down at Layla, who is still crouched hiding by the table. Right by the jars that the creature has started putting the man’s organs into. She slowly starts to move around to the other side, away from them but she knocks into a jar, alerting the creature to her presence. Steven leans forward, closer to the edge to get a better look but the floorboard creaks under him. He freezes as the thing jumps up onto the table and then up to cling to the underside of the platform you are on. Steven starts to full panic as you look around for a way out, just as Layla launches a jar at the wall. It smashes, grabbing the creatures attention.

“Run! I’ll find you!” Steven yells down to Layla, who makes an escape out the room. “Help me.” He calls over to you and you help him push a table off the platform. It lands on the creature. “We squished it. We squished it!” He gasps, turning and hugging you in relief.

“Yeah we squished it, what exactly was it?” You say breathlessly.

“Heka priest. We should go before any more of them turn up.”

“There’s more of them?!”

Steven grabs your hand and pulls you through the exit. He leads you through more corridors, occasionally stopping to admire a sculpture or ancient drawing. Eventually you find yourselves in a large, magnificent room.

“Oh my days!” Steven gasps. “First ones here. Tomb fit for a pharoah. Its gotta be one of the bigguns.”

You just smile at him as he continues rambling in amazement at everything in the room. You have to admit, it is pretty impressive. But Steven is the real expert on all this stuff. You cross the stepping stones through the water to the middle of the room where the sarcophagus lies.

“Oh wow, look at that! Look at all these relics. Macedonian? No, what?” He crouches down to look at the inscriptions on the side of the sarcophagus. “No way. That can’t be right.”

“What is it?”

“That's Macedonian. But the only pharaoh…but he insisted on calling him self Egyptian.”

“Steven you're not making any sense. What are you saying?”

“I think were looking at the long lost tomb of Alexander the Great.”

“You're kidding?” You ask and he looks at you in amazement. You don't know why but you both start laughing. “Let's get it open.”

You both place your hands on the top, getting ready to push. Steven takes a few breaths then stops.

“Everything inside me is screaming not to open this thing.” He says.

“I know, but Harrow-”

“Alright, alright, alright.” He places his hands back on the top and takes a deep breath. You count to three then push with all your strength. The lid slides open to reveal a mummified corpse lying inside. Even though thats exactly what you expected to see, it still startled you that that is an actual dead person. The actual Alexander the Great.

“Right so, what are we looking for?” you ask.

“If you're gonna hide it for all eternity, you’d probably put it in a place where the average looter wouldn’t think to look.” He thinks. “Alexander was the voice of Ammit...”

You both look at the head, completely wrapped in cloth.

“You don't think…” you start, really hoping Steven isn’t about to suggest what you think he’s going to suggest. You really don't want to see what the body looks like underneath that cloth.

“I'm gonna try something.” He starts to remove the cloth from the head. “Sorry. Oh God, so sorry. Sorry Mr Great.”

The fabric rips revealing the Alexander’s skull, which Steven apologises to again before prying open its mouth and reaching inside. He searches deep inside the skull, gagging a few times before slowly pulling out the a small statue that looks like Ammit.

“Is that it? You got it?” You ask, hope rising that Harrow might not succeed.

“Yeah, yeah we got it.” Steven says with a smile. You smile back before you pull each other in for a hug. You pull apart when you hear footsteps and look to see Layla enter. “Layla look. We won!” He holds the ushabti in the air, a hug grin on his face. But Layla doesn’t smile. She looks likes she’s been crying.

“Are you okay?” You ask.

“Can he hear me?” She asks Steven, ignoring you completely. Now that she’s closer you can see she looks angry.

“Alexander? I don't think so.” Steven chuckles. “God, I hope not.”

“What happened to my father?” She says, getting closer to him. He looks baffled. “I’m talking to you... I’m talking to Marc!” She shoves him and he pauses, his eyes rolling back.

“Come on.” He says, his deep American voice is serious and he tries to pull Layla with him. “We need to go right now.”

“No!” Layla shakes him off. “What happened to my father?”

“Listen to me. We have to leave right now. I will explain everything, I swear. But we have to go!”

“Did you kill Abdullah El Faouly?” Layla asks and Marc pauses. A tense silence fills the air.

“I’m just gonna- I’ll give you a minute.” You say awkwardly as you back away towards the entrance Layla came in through.

“Stay close!” Marc calls to you and you nod before stepping just outside into the corridor. You can still hear their raised voices but at least you don't feel like a spectator to their private conversation now.

As you stand in the dark corridor, trying not to listen to the argument happening just a few feet away, you're suddenly aware that you're not alone. You spin around to see Harrow stood looking at you. He doesn’t look shocked to see you, but he does look disappointed. Like a parent that has just caught their child doing something wrong. You freeze, like a deer caught in headlights as his disciples start charging past you into the tomb, leaving you and Harrow alone. He doesn’t take his eyes off you.

“As disappointed as I am that you disobeyed my order, I am glad you are here to see me take my victory.”

He starts to move towards you and you bolt, trying to run past him to warn Layla and Marc. But he catches you, grabbing you by the arm and pulling you into the room himself. You’re surprised to find Marc left stood on his own, holding an axe, ready to fight. He falters slightly when he realises Harrow has hold of you. Harrow looks at Marc and smiles, before handing you over to Bobbi.

“Just you. The rest is silence.” He says as he takes a few slow steps towards Marc. “I remember the first morning I woke up knowing that Khonshu was gone. The quiet was liberating. You're a free man.” He walks closer to Marc. “And of course with that freedom comes choice. And right now you have a very important decision to make.”

“Okay.” Marc responds.

“No Marc, don’t!” You shout, causing Bobbi to tighten her grip on you and put her hand over your mouth.

Harrow glances at the disciples to the side of him, who start advancing on Marc, guns aimed at him. Marc just stands completely still until they get close enough then he starts his attack, easily taking out three of them. Harrow steps forward, raising a gun that you didn’t even see him holding and points it at Marc.

Before you have a chance to even try to fight, Harrow pulls the trigger. A bullet hits Marc straight in the chest. He stumbles backwards, pain on his face as his white shirt starts to stain red. You scream in Bobbi’s grasp and Harrow locks eyes with you for a moment before turning back and firing a second, fatal bullet at Marc. It hits, sending him falling backwards into the water.

“I can’t save anyone who won’t save themselves.” Harrow says as he watches Marc’s life’s body float in the water.

You manage to swing your arm around to hit Bobbi in the stomach, causing her to release her grip on you and you rush forward, past Harrow and straight into the water, pulling Marc's body up to cradle him.

“Steven?” You cry, not caring that the mix of water and bloody is soaking into your clothes. “Steven please. Wake up, please.”

Harrow comes up behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder but you instantly push him away.

“Get off me!” You shout, Harrow looks completely unfazed. “Stay away from me! You're a murderer!”

“We must move on.” he holds his hand out to you.

“No! I’m not leaving him.” You argue. “I would rather die than go anywhere with you!”

For the briefest moment you think Harrow almost looks hurt by your statement. But then his face changes again.

“I can see you’re upset, you're not in your right mind.”

“Oh my mind is perfectly right.” You say as you stand up, face to face with Harrow. “I never want to see you again.” You say through gritted teeth before turning your back on him and returning to Marc’s side.

“This is your last chance Y/N.” He warns, and you ignore him. “Very well.”

Suddenly two pairs of hands grasp yours arm, yanking you up to your feet as two disciples drag you away kicking and screaming out of the water and hold you as Harrow and two disciples go to Steven’s body.

“Don't you dare touch him!” Your shout falling on deaf ears as the disciples drag Steven out of the water. Harrow crouches down beside him as the disciple hands him Ammit’s ushabti. He smiles before looking at Steven.

“I’m sorry it had to be this way, Marc Spector, Steven Grant…” he pauses as he places the scarab beetle on Steven’s chest “whoever else might be in there.” He uses his cane to help him stand back up and turns to face the crowd of disciples, but his focus is on you. “Sometimes we need the cold light of death before we can see reality.”

You struggle against the hands that have you restrained but they just hold you tighter, forcing you down to your knees to bow as Arthur holds the ushabti high for everyone to see.

You hear the sound of footsteps as someone runs into the room. For a moment you feel hope as you think it could be Layla with a plan to stop him, but when you see Maya run up to Harrow the hope quickly dies.

“Harrow, sir, I am so so sorry.” She rambles breathlessly. “I was trying to find you, to warn you, but I got lost in these tunnels.” She pauses, looking at him with sad eyes. “I’ve failed you.”

“Yes, you have.” He says, completely emotionless as he turns his attention away from her. From the look on her face you can tell her heart has just broken. She backs away from him and stands alone near the wall.

“Who wants to heal the world?”

The disciples around you get up and start making their way back out of the tomb. Harrow starts walking over towards you but suddenly stops when he hears Maya following.

“Not you.” He says, not even turning to face her.

“S-sir..?” She says, confusion on her face.

“This is the end for you.” He reaches into his pocket and before Maya has a chance to register whats happening he turns and shoots her in the chest with the same gun he killed Steven with. You gasp and try to get to her slump as she slumps painfully to the ground, but the disciples holding you keep you firmly in place, still kneeling on the floor.

“Why- why did you do that?!” A sob escaping your throat as Harrow comes to stand by you. “She was just a young girl!!”

“She let him get to you. She put you in danger… I can’t have that.”

“The only reason I’m in danger is because of you!” You say shakily and Harrow looks down at you. He doesn’t say anything, he just reaches his hand down to wipe the tears from under your eyes. Then he walks past you, gesturing for the disciples to follow. As they harshly pull you up to your feet, you can’t take your eyes off of Maya’s lifeless body. Her glossy eyes staring at you as they drag you away, leaving her forever resting in the tomb of Alexander the Great.

Part Six

Taglist : @sleepylunarwolf / @ahookedheroespureheart / @sleepyamaya / @spicydonut25 / @kult6 / @uncle-eggy / @malaanii/ @toracainz / @pinkiestwinkie / @galacticstxrdust / @mateihavenoidea / @xmariakx / @oscarissac2099 / @whycantwebefriendz / @parkeepingparker

(If you want to be added/removed on the tag list please let me know, but note that I can’t reply to comments from this blog)

#moon knight #marvel fanfic #moon knight fic #moon knight fanfic #moon knight x reader #steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #arthur harrow x reader #layla el faouly x reader #layla el faouly #arthur harrow #Steven grant #Marc spector #Oscar isaac #Oscar Isaac x reader #Ethan hawke #Ethan Hawke x reader

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giggly-squiggily · 11 months

Text

Play Dead! (Bungo Stray Dogs)

The way I legit forgot I wrote this akjerkjarjkaekjrkjaerkjaer

Hello everyone! I'm spoiling y'all this week- two fics in one day! :D And Lee!Dazai no less- who am I? (Forgetful. :D) Anywho- I wrote this with a friend awhile back and legit forgot about it cause life happened, but now it's been brought back to my attention and I realized I never did post it l;earkjeakjrkj I hope y'all like it! :D

CW: Mentions of Suicide

Cloud 9 (Taglist peeps)

@thatbigbisexual29 @dirtpie39 @duckymcdoorknob @cupcake-spice13 @t-wordiiish

Summary: Dazai plays dead, much to Kunikida and Atsushi's frustration. After he unintentionally scares the hell out of Atsushi, Kunikida decides to teach the weretiger the best way to handle such a fussy man.

“DAZAI YOU MORON-” Atsushi sighed as he heard a loud thump, Dazai’s soft groans following shortly after. Since joining the agency, he’d grown used to the daily chaos his mentor seemed to get himself into. It wouldn’t be a normal day if Kunikida didn’t try to strangle or thump Dazai with his notebook.

“What did he do this time?” Atsushi asked as he watched the blonde poet return to his desk, brushing off invisible dust on his most current notebook.

“Take a wild guess.” Kunikida growled, sharp eyes turning to the weretiger. “He claimed he had a “new method of relaxation” I’d enjoy- then he tried to tickle me!” Kunikida growled, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t know what goes on through that thick skull of his, but one day he’s gonna get himself killed! And not through whatever attempt of suicide he has planned.”

Atsushi hummed, nodding along softly. He was all too familiar with Dazai’s “relaxation techniques”. Then he blinked. “Wait- Mr. Kunikida. Are you ticklish?”

The glare the Doppo poet sent him cut deeply, chilling his veins and leaving him frozen in his seat. “I’d advise you to forget that idea, Weretiger. You won’t like what comes of it.”

“U-Understood!” Atsushi looked anywhere else- desperate to escape that harsh stare. His gaze fell to Dazai, still on the floor. Had he even moved? “Is Dazai okay?”

“In the head? Not at all.” Kunikida followed his stare, narrowing his eyes. “Ey, Dazai. Get up.”

Nothing. Not a twitch.

“Dazai, get up.” Kunikida called out again. Atsushi felt his stomach drop.

“How hard did you hit him?” He asked as he ran over to the prone detective.

“Barely! Not more than I usually do.” Kunikida was there faster, shaking Dazai’s body. Still no response.

“Is he breathing?” Atsushi asked, feeling himself start to panic.

Kunikida leaned closer, a hand coming up to feel a pulse along Dazai’s neck. One press-

“Ah! Ahehehehehe!” Dazai yelped with a giggle, shooting upward as he scrunched his shoulders. Kunikida and Atsushi breathe out a sigh of relief, the former’s expression growing into one of rage seconds later.

“Dazai! What the hell is wrong with you?” He snapped, livid once more.

“Oh, Kunikida! Good morning!” Dazai grinned over his shoulder at him, eyes dancing with mischief. “See, I had this thought not too long after you smacked me with your notebook. What if I passed out on my airway? I’d pass away through asphyxiation!” Then he made a face of dread. “And then I remembered how long and terrible of a death that would be- so I changed my mind.”

“That doesn’t explain why you laid here not breathing!” Atsushi cut in, glaring even more fiercely than Kunikida. Turns out some things were possible in the right circumstances.

“Oh that! Just an old trick I picked up at my old job.” Dazai spoke so casually, as if learning to lower your breathing to undetectable levels was a normal thing to have on your resume. His smile faded, some seeing the hurt on his young apprentice’s expression. “Did I scare you? I’m sorry, truly.”

“You-” Atsushi looked close to tears. He was about- what? Cry, scream, pull a Kuni and smack Dazai with a chair- when said Poet spoke up.

“Atsushi. Dazai’s a complete idiot. Seems his stupidity isn’t limited to me.” The blonde cracked his knuckles, something unreadable in his voice. “I believe it’s about time I teach you how to deal with such morons.”

“Mr. Kunikida?” The pale man blinked, unsure of what was about to happen. Dazai on the other hand and rather flush faced- seemed to know exactly where this was going.

“W-Wait! Kuni, I’m sorry!” Dazai yelped, squirming beneath the other in an attempt to escape. “D-Don’t! Not in front of Atsushi!”

“Not in front of…?” Should he be here for this?

“Why not? You made him cry, you jerk. I think he should see you in such a state.” Kunikida reminded, getting comfortable on Dazai’s back, effectively pinning him down. “Don’t act like you don’t want this- you could easily get away from me if you try.” He leaned down some, making his voice low and dangerous. “Let’s be honest with one another- you want me to tickle you, don’t you?”

Dazai choked on a squeak, flushing even more. Any resistance he showed suddenly seemed to melt away as he averted his eyes, focusing on invisible dust within the carpet. If Atsushi were to lay his head on the ground ear down, he was sure he’d hear Dazai’s heartbeat pounding against it. “M-Maybe…?”

“Thought so.” Was Kunikida’s only response. Seconds later his fingers were drilling into Dazai’s ribs, gently pressing into the spaces between each bone. The brunette barely had any time to react, arching up with a cackle.

“Ah! Ahehahhahahhahaha! Kuhuhuhuhunikiihihihihda! Whahahahhaiit!” He squawked, squirming to and from as loud, handsome laughter pushed out his lips. “Pleheahhahahahse I’m sohohohohohohorry!”

“Are you? I’m not convinced.” The poet responded, dropping his hands lower towards his waist, worming his fingers between his belly and the floor. This made the suicidal detective flop like a fish, nearly smashing his nose into the floor with how fast he dropped down. “You really made us worry, you idiot. Like we’d accept those petty apologies!”

“Ahehahhahahahhaa! Pffft gehahahhahahaha! Aahahhaatsuuhuuhshi, hahahhahahalp!” Dazai wheezed, one arm trying in vain to grab Kunikida’s hands while the other reached out helplessly towards the weretiger. “Sahhahahhahahhve mehehhehehhehe!”

“No, help me Weretiger. Get his legs!” Kunikida offered instead- though it came out more a command really.

Atsushi shook himself free from his stunned silence, weighing his options. He highly doubted he’d win a fight with Kunikida, tickles or not. And Dazai was his mentor.

Still, Dazai did scare them pretty bad just now…

“Okay. I’ll help.” Decision made, Atsushi shuffled over.

“Nohohoho, wahhahait AtsuhuhuhuuhshIHIIHIHIHIHIHI!” Dazai all but shrieked when his thighs were grabbed, Atsushi’s fluffy claws coming out to gently drag up the offending limb. Meanwhile, Kunikida brought a hand back up to Dazai’s neck, worming beneath his ears and the back of his neck with fresh vigor. “GUUHUHUUHUHUHUYS PLEHHAHAHHAHAHAHSE STAHHAHAHAHAP!”

“Are you really sorry?” Atsushi asked, giving his thigh a squeeze- earning a squeal.

“YEHAHHAHAHAHHS!”

“Truly? Genuinely?” Kunikida asked, going for the spot on Dazai’s lower back that made his laugh silent. The other could only whimper out a yes as he nodded profusely. “Well, alright.” Together, he and Atsushi pulled their hands away, leaving the brunette to gasp for air. “What do you think, Atsushi? Is he forgiven?”

“Yeah…Yeah I think so.” He smiled, giggling softly as Dazai gave a weak thumbs up. “Now he knows not to do that.”

At least…for the rest of the day.

They’ll cross that bridge when they get there. At least Atsushi knew what to do when it came up.

Thanks for reading!

#bsd #tickle #tickle fic #fluff #dazai osamu #kunikida doppo #atsushi nakajima #dazai's being stupid again #we love him though :3 #tw: suicide mention

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nerdyvocals · 10 months

Text

Final round of episode quotes as @look-at-those-niceass-rocks and I finished our final watch party. Once again, the cast and crew are in the house, so @saveourpinks, please enjoy. (You can find previous posts with more unhinged quotes here and here)

Honorable mention from before we actually started, them waking their husband up with: wake up, it's time for me to see gay shit

Second honorable mention, a conversation had while I struggled with my audio: Them: I tried to show [Husband] Merely Players last night but he was too tired Me: I can't believe your husband is homophobic Them: I AGREE Husband, distantly: I don't deserve this!

(about Buddy) God his shoulders, he's built like a Dorito

(this is specifically in reference to episode 8 but honestly, this was said multiple times throughout our watching) Me: WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH COMMUNISM??? Them: It's the 50s! If it ain't American, it's communist!

Me: I love that Buddy's dad's name is Dick Them: It was a choice

(In reference to Blandiels) He makes me SO uncomfortable. Like I know that that's the point but he's so slimy-NO NO STOP, STOP KISSING HER, FUCK-!

(roughly three minutes of us screaming over Lydia's Woman Scorned (tm) dress, followed by another three minutes of us laughing at the faces everyone was making when I pause the video)

(about Susan's mom) Me: Heinous fucking bitch Them: What. A raging. CUNT.

(after we both spent a Hot Minute thirsting over Cynthia dancing on the car) Them: I talk a big game but if I was within five feet of this person, I would be just staring and stammering Husband, distantly: We know honey Them: SHUT UP

(both of us wheezing over CGI!Richie)

Cops: *show up* Us: *John Mulaney voice* SCATTER

Them: NOT THE LINE I'VE LOST THE ONE I LOVE THE MOST AS SHE PICKS UP OLIVIA'S JACKET Me: They are simply In Love

Them: He's gonna do something stupid, I can feel it. Me: You don't know the half of it! Them: He's gonna propose to a teenager! (okay maybe they do know the half of it, fuckin' prophet)

Me: *reading off episode titles as it starts storming where I am* And this one is called You're Dropping Out of Rydell- thank you dramatic thunder???

(honorable mention, me being unable to tell what was real thunder and what was from the episode)

Them: I'm not emotionally ready for this Me: Me neither and I've seen it like eight times already

Nancy: *dramatic exit* Them: She's so dramatic and I respect her and only her

Me: I love you singing along to a theme song with no lyrics Them: Sometimes I just gotta make funky little noises!

(About Nicholson) I am going to break that man's ball sack with a driver.

Them: It's giving pouty little bitch Me: Which one? (referring to Buddy and his dad) Them: Yes

Cynthia: *walks in in Richie's Jacket* Me: Hello my name is Single and Gay Them: I am not single but I am gay and I think... I don't think, I have no thoughts, head empty

(About McGee, then the scene transitions to Daniels) Them: The only adult in this school I respect- I AM GOING TO KILL HIM WITH MY BARE HANDS! Me, wheezing: What about your human hands? Them: THOSE TOO

(said in the most disgusted voice I've ever heard) Of course he likes Walt Whitman

Them: [Husband], I'm killing the pedophile, wanna help? Husband: Let's be honest, do you really need my help? Them: Someone's gotta drive the car.

Them: "Feelings central?" I bet you were feeling sensual when you were making out with Olivia-LYDIA on your couch earlier Me: ...You good there? Them: The names are too close

(Face to Face begins) Ah, dramatic acapella is my gender

Me: Once again, love how much you hate Buddy Them: He's had so many chances to earn my respect and he has done nothing!

Guardian Demon: *appears* Them: What. The fuck. Is happening? Me: BEAUTY SCHOOL DROPOUT BABEY

(@ Buddy) Them: He's not a total ding-dong. Just like 80% Me: He did just thank her (Susan) for having sex with him Them: ...85%

(About the Red Sox analogy) Cynthia giving me Gender Euphoria with one sentence

Nancy: *talking about love stories, mentions Shy Guy* Both of us: *Cackling at the full-body never mind Cynthia does*

Nancy: Tell anyone of my vulnerable nature and I will deny it until the day I die! Them: FUCKING MOOD like I know I was literally also just crying but we're gonna move past that, I'm a bad bitch again

Me: Finale time! Any thought or predictions before we get started? Them: Leonard gets arrested and as he's being taken away, he gets hit by a semi truck- Me: What is this, Mean Girls??? Them: Yes! McGee punches the principal in the face and defeats him in blood combat and cements her place as principal- Me: *slowly dissolving into horrified laughter* Them: Cynthia gets to kiss Lydia again, which is all I really need to be happy, and terrifying CGI Richie comes back and does the Macarena! Me: *can't start the episode for five minutes because I'm laughing too hard*

(Ten seconds in) PAUSE THIS I HAVE BEEF THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY OF GETTING MARRIED THAT QUICKLY IN A CATHOLIC CHURCH

(after rant) Me: Yeah but the tensions wouldn't be as high if they had six months to stop the wedding! Them: ...there are two wolves inside of me, one says valid, and one is formerly Catholic and Upsetti

Me: I want a shirt that says "I have two wolves inside of me, one of them is Catholic" and nothing else Them: *WHEEZE*

Cynthia: He's just. Some guy. Both of us, in sync: HIT HIM WITH YOUR CAR

"Old Soul" is groomer for "Fuckable"

(@ Gil climbing in through the window) Me: On the one hand, I'd fold, on the other? Terrifying! Them: YES! Me: Although I guess if I had the rapport with someone that they have?? Maybe?? Like good in media, bad in real life. Them: Gil? Yes, absolutely. Edward Cullen? Fuck no! The two genres of climbing through my window

(after the drag race) YET ANOTHER THING BUDDY DID NOT EARN

Me: Hey, do you have tissues? Them (afraid): ...should I get some??? Me: Maybe Them: I don't think I have any in the house??? Me: Ah! You're fucked!

*ten minute interlude of us crying over the Coming Out Scene, discussing what it means to both of us, and how furious we are of future generations not getting to see the best queer rep of our lifetimes if this show doesn't get saved. On that note, sign the petition if you haven't already.*

THEY STARTED BY STEALING A CAR THEY WILL SAVE THE FRIENDSHIP BY STEALING A CAR

Oh someone please hit hi- YESSSSS!!!

(at the start of All In) Me: She (Cynthia) is going to cry Them: I'm going to cry Me: I'm already crying

Me: Lydia is stronger than I am I would already be on my knees. (note I use a cane and sometimes a wheelchair, if I am on my knees I Will Not be Getting Up)

Me: Hopelessly Devoted walked so this song could fucking run Them: I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THE SAME THING

Pink Ladies: *Offer Hazel a jacket* Them: *aggressively close to the mic* That sounds very gay I'm in

Them: I cannot take my eyes off Jane. Like they are all very beautiful right now but there's something about her- Me: It's the bisexual energy Them: ...Dammit, you're right

Rizzo: We'll start our own gang! Them: With blackjack and hookers!

(Introduction of Frankie Zuko) Them: I'm sorry, HUH???

(As credits roll) Me: So, how we feelin'? Them: Normal, I am so normal, I am feeling so fucking normal about this. Me: Thoughts? Them: *incoherent screaming*

We had some much fun doing these, we decided to keep a quotes list for more movie nights. Next up, Julie and the Phantoms!

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messenger-of-stupidity · 1 year

Conversation

Redacted Incorrect Quotes

I have more redacted stuff on my profile in case you're interested, but I can't link the masterlist on this. It's in the pinned post though.

---

Honey: I can't think when he's around!

Sunshine: Ah, young love.

Honey: No! He's as loud as fuck and I can't form a thought when someone is screaming fucking Bohemian Rhapsody in my ears!

---

David: Tell me. Do you plan out all the dumb stuff you do? Or does it just come naturally?

Asher, staring at the flaming toaster: I plan, but it never goes how I want.

---

Brachium: You don't know me?

Elliot: No. Should we?

Brachium: Probably? I mean, I know you.

---

Darlin: I have a man I think we should kill.

David: We don't kill on personal matters.

Darlin: I know. That's why I'm telling you, because if you agree with me it's a green light.

---

David: Are you seriously arguing with me about this?

Angel: Yeah. What are you gonna do? Cry?

---

Darlin: You haven't seen my at my worst, cowboy. And you haven't had a chance to see me at my best yet.

Sam: And I never will if you don't get off the fucking counter with a rubber duck!

---

Warden: Please tell me you didn't just shove someone off a bridge.

Vega: Listen, they were threatening me. It was self defense!

Warden: You laughed when they hit the water! It was a 50 foot drop!

---

Cutie: Wow. You're being really stupid.

Sweetheart, trying to see if they can summon Cam with a squishmallow: You're one to talk!

Cutie: Well yeah! I'm the stupidest one here! If I can tell you're being stupid, what does that say about you?

---

Damien: Tell me you aren't going to cause problems...

Freelancer: I'm afraid I can't do that.

---

After the Kody incident:

Damien: You got a free ride to the best magic school on the continent and you've decided to put all your energy into being sent away?? Why!?

Freelancer: Look, I don't know what to tell you. I hate it here and everyone sucks.

---

When they first met:

Angel: Do you like me?

David: I'm going to be totally honest with you. I have no idea who you are.

---

Asher: You have a mate! That's awesome!

Darlin: Yeah... It was an accident, trust me.

---

Cutie: Tell me something you haven't told anyone else.

Geordie: ... No?

---

Asset: You okay?

Marcus: Gonna cry actually! Thanks for asking!

---

David: What makes you think this animal is sapient?

Asher: He watches me work!

Milo: And my cat watches TV. It's not a sign of sapience.

---

Honey: Who are you?

Guy: Hell if I know. I just work here.

---

Sam: Why do you have so many kids?

David, sighing: I made the mistake of feeding them once and now they won't leave.

---

Milo: I'm telling you right now, Sweetheart, if I see a ghost, I'm not sticking around to see if you live.

Sweetheart: Love you too asshole.

---

Baabe: So what are your thoughts on David?

Angel: He's a bitch and I like him.

---

Sam: Be sure you've thought this through. Once you go through with this, there's no turning back.

Darlin: I am aware and have made my decision. Get fucked!

---

Sam: Why are you here?!

Darlin: Revenge.

Sweetheart: Same.

Baabe: Hanging out with friends.

Angel: I was promised chaos.

---

Darlin: You'd think that all I want to do is cry. You would be incorrect. All I actually want to do is commit heinous acts of violence on the general populous.

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justheretop0st · 8 months

Note

Hi! I was reading your work and i thought you were a excellent writter.

💓💓

So im gonna shoot my shot and ask you for a Cicero x Fem!reader drabble/headcannon who is also a jester? Nsfw and sfw would be appreciated alot!

XOXO -anon💓💓💓

Wow Anon, I am so sorry about this late response. I was never notified of this ask. I hope this will make up for how long you had to wait. Much love and blessings to you.

She skipped merrily along a path. she knew not where she was going, but she knew that it was beautiful. In her hands she held flowers of lavender and tundra cotton. On her face she smiled with such glee. The sun was out. The wind was blowing and-

"I told you to quit asking you freakish Jester! Get out of here before I do something you'll regret!" Such anger in this voice. Rushing a little forward to come over a small hill, she noticed a man walking back to a cart that was loose of its wheel. He looked quite annoyed, but his outfit really explained it all. She decided then she would help him as best she could. Anger, annoyance, or sadness she would turn this strangers frown upside down.

Upon speaking with him, she found out that this man was transporting his dear mother to a new home. How sweet of him to honor his deceased mother. "Thank you so much Cicero for telling me about this!" She smiled up at him and grabbed his hand, placing in it a small bouquet of lilac and white. "I'll go speak with Loreius and we can get that wheel fixed!"

Despite offering her coin, she denied it. She waited until Loreius came down with some tools and even helped as best she could. Once the wagon was finished, she offered Cicero her name. He did smile and danced as she repeated her name. "Ah! (Y/N), (Y/N), (Y/N)! Such a pretty name for a shining lady! Thank you! Offering lucky Cicero flowers to make Cicero smile again! Oh Mother would be so lucky to have you in her family!"

The oddity of this statement made her confused but still she smiled and gripped his hands and began to spine him around. "I love to make people feel better! I'm so glad I could help you. May our paths meet again!"

---

Indeed their paths met again. She joined the dark brotherhood by accident and by the leader no less. Coming back to the lair, she heard Astrid and a familiar voice.

"Ugh, we have one Jester, but Cicero WILL be afforded the respect deserving his position as Keeper."

When she rounded the corner, she saw a familiar face and a familiar set of lilac and white. "Cicero? Oh Cicero! I knew I might see you again!"

---

The two spent so long catching up. She watched him as he tended to the Mothers body. He watched as she was easily able to speak with the other members. He learned from her and she learned from him.

She was preparing to leave out for a mission. She was going to kill some person, oh well she would have to go back for this persons name. But behind her she could hear footsteps. "Hmm?"

Upon turning around, she met the gaze of her dear friend. "Oh! Hello Cicero! Come by to say good luck?" She had a smile on her face, but his face held not happiness or any type of joy. She couldn't place it, but her smile faded. "What's wrong Cicero?"

He met her eyes and weakly chuckled. "Oh (Y/N) poor Cicero came to say goodbye." She couldn't place it, but she could feel its double meaning.

"You mean, Cicero will see you later, right?" A solemn smile came across his lips as he reached out to cup her face.

"Oh my sweet sweet Listener. My sweet sweet (Y/N)." His voice dropped its normal facade that made her eyes widen in shock. "Only for you will I say, I will see you later." He leaned forward to place a kiss on her forehead.

She didn't know what to do with herself. It appeared to be a declaration, but he did not stay to listen. He merrily skipped away chattering about the night mother. Despite her being able to bounce back from anything, this left her curious during her days of travel. She had a mission to complete and she would complete it.

---

She came back to find out about the attack. Perhaps Cicero knew he might stand a chance of dying. She was sent to finish Cicero's life and find Astrids husband. He was always so serious. It left a bad taste in her mouth, but she knew the real reason she was going. If ever there was a chance to see Cicero again, surely she would. Perhaps she was being foolish in her cheery demeanor of that stupid wolf slain. But she still pressed forward to find Cicero. That wolf could wait. That would would surely die another day.

Perhaps Cicero truly feared for his life. The ghosts who were protecting him put up a good fight. Despite being the Listener, they still fought to protect him. She pushed forward regretting that she wasn’t there to protect Cicero. After all, Cicero was right about the family. He didn’t deserve to die and she wasn’t going to give Cicero what he didn’t deserve.

In a pool of his own blood is how she found him. Though he rambled on, she still pursued him.

———-

After the fall of Astrid and the reconstruction of the new base, she brought back Cicero. Despite what Nazeem may have felt or thought, he didn’t say much about the two of them.

Cicero serenaded her with twisted love songs.

She encouraged and praised him with his work and love.

Cicero strived to be pleasing to her and mother.

She understood his commitment to mother.

In the same stride, she would repeat what mother told her. Cicero had waited so long to hear mothers words. As mundane and job heavy as mother words were, he would dance excitedly every time she repeated mothers words.

Despite what others might think, Cicero has another side to him that only she was allowed to see.

Cicero has spent years serving mother and the dark brotherhood. Cicero would surely serve for years more. But Cicero has needs that he never got to explore. Until he met her.

——

I hope this was something you liked. I tried to add a hint of what nsfw head cannons I have for him. I am still trying to figure out if I want to post nsfw on this page. But if I do, I will make one specifically for Cicero.

Thank you for your patience.

#Skyrim #cicero x reader #Cicero #skyrim headcanon #Skyrim Drabble #jester #fem!jester!reader #Skyrim ask

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itsyagurlchip · 20 days

Note

can I get a goofy reader insert w/ gregory as the older sibling

٠ ˚ ※ ๋࣭ ᯓ⚝ ⋆ .˚✰Radically Chaotic!٠ ˚ ※ ๋࣭ ᯓ⚝ ⋆.˚✰

✰⋆⁺warning: Gregory(!) crack(!) a lil older sibling angst(!)

✰⋆⁺ i know who you are *insert gay dog*naw but fr- I apologize that it took so long for this to come out :(( and ur not online as much, BUT I LOVE U SM ❤️🫵🏾I know it was supposed to be goofy- but i had to get some tears in(I knew it was u bc ur the only one who uses goofy like that @thealphagirl)

✰⋆⁺ You are a 14 year old older sibling. Life just couldn't get harder for you!!!-? Wait- WHY DOES HIS TRACKER SAY THE PIZZA PLEX?

"DUDE! WHY THE HELL DID YOU THINK IT WAS OK TO BE HERE???" I harshly whispered, my breath heaving in the tight hiding spot we were in.

"I DONT KNOW!? I JUST WANTED TO SEE SOME COOL STUFF" Gregory responded, trying to use that damn Journey Kidz ass watch. I don't even know where that came from, Mom hasn't bought anything like that in months.

"AH YES, BECAUSE THE COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD IS GETTING CHASED BY A GROWN AS WOMAN WHO LOOKS LIKE SHE NEEDS 3 YEARS OF SLEEP!" I sarcastically retorted as my voice raised a pitch. We were so in trouble, it's bad enough that I got my tablet away. Now the door is up for grabs.

"THAT 'WOMAN' WILL GET US IF YOU DONT SHUT UP"

"MAKE ME, YOU LIL-" His hand slapped against my mouth just as aggressive stomping flooded both of our ears. My heart dropped to my ass. Forget the door! I won't even have a bedroom to myself if we go to jail!

This is a big ass place, no telling how much it costs. Trespassing gets sued for, and knowing Gregory, he probably broke some expensive-!

oh no...

"Gregory?..." I slowly turned to him, "How much have you broken?"

I'm pretty sure I could hear that loudass daycare music (despite us being closer to the front) from how quiet it became.

*sigh* "We need to get out of here so no one can recognize our faces- I am NOT gonna do community service for your dumbass decisions." I hissed out as I slightly gripped my hair. I had to take another long exhale at the absurdity of the situation, my eyes couldn't even stay open as I did so. The buffoonery, the stress, the-

I hear sniffling from my right and I quickly spun around just in time to see my little brother put on a tough face, not before he angrily wiped away some tears with the bittest of snot from his nose.

I sigh once more, with my eyes tearing up as well. I pull him close into a hug, his head leaning close to my chest. I wonder if he can hear how hard my hard is beating...

"Look buddy... Sorry if I sounded so harsh- or if I worded something wrong". A tear fell from my eye. "I just wish you had told me where you were- or, or...I just wanted you to be okay. I'm older than you, I have to protect you." I looked into Gregory's eyes as I wiped some of the tear tracks away.

"Not only that, and I had to admit it but- you're my number one best friend. I don't want to know what it's like to lose you." My voice cracked a I continued on. I held Gg tight, hoping that we weren't crying too loud.

...

Well that was a shit show! You know, crying isn't as bad as it seems to be. Because I would rather be ANYWHERE ELSE than here right now!

You know, at home, in a nice warmish bed. A non hostile environment. No Self aware machines. Especially ones that chase you, AROUND A FUCKING MALL!!

Me and Gregory were booking it- A raccoon-looking animatronic was chasing us.

'What she needed to chase was a color scheme' I thought to myself. 'And maybe a whole new maw- that shit looks like those furry masks on yt shorts.

Turns out, the only robot that wasn't trying to maul our faces off is good ole Freddicson Fazbearington. But, as if the universe is our 3rd grade enemy, Freddy runs like a goddamn iphone battery.

I could only hope that we made it our here, no fees, no community service, or even trouble on our hands. I couldn't even hop for that- the damn things were trying to kill us!

If wishing wasnt doing anything, me and my little brother will. We'll make it home safe, no scratches, no suspicion. Nothing will be damaged, no one will be harmed.

But the security was breached, leaving a radically chaotic fire in its wake by the start of the morning.

(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و tags: @kittykittyanon @radicallxser @oleander-nin @towomatos @thealphagirl @ziipzeepzop-eez @amorvincitomnia-14 @spongejuice . if you would like to be added, check my blog.

#yagurlchip❤️#yagurl writes #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf sb #five nights at freddy's security breach #security breach #gregory x reader #sibling reader #everything is strictly familial #angst #crack #older sibling #older sibling syndrome

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illarian-rambling · 20 days

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Thanks for the tag @elsie-writes and @kaylinalexanderbooks!

OC in 15

Let's do this one for Elsind :)

"I— I knew you’d find out. I didn’t want to but— but Thibault said I had to and— and— I told him I didn’t have enough. He— And now— And— And now I'm crying! On a mission!”

“I’m a failure! This one thing? I couldn’t just get this one thing right? Gods beyond, I’m going to die here and it won’t even mean anything.”

“You weren’t supposed to be smart!"

“She— She’s alive. She’s…. Are you going to kill me? Make it quick if you are, please. Leave my body somewhere heroic. Don’t kill me if you don’t have to, but I don’t know anything more. I— I promise.”

“That’s weird, why don’t you know that? We’re fair folk who can replicate faces.”

“Well, what did I do wrong the first time? Too many teeth? Too few? I always mess those up. What’s your honest review before I have to go in front of the Duchon?”

“Mellow-like accent…. Great for tellin’ stories…. I reckon I’ve got it!"

“I thought you were gonna ask me a riddle and I got real scared ’cause riddles make me itchy. Fae allergies can get strange, if’n ya didn’t know.”

“I told you, we were going to send someone else in! I’m only the one doing this because we couldn’t get Maeline hired for the position. She can sew, I can’t! Ah fuamel, we’re going to die, aren’t we? They’ll chop our heads off and leave our bodies to rot.”

“I’m… I’m not really me when I’m wearing another face. Or, it helps to think of it that way, at least. Your friend seemed competent, so if I’m her, I can be too.”

“Fancy clothes are just so romantic. I read this chip-piece novel once, about a princess and her guard who switched places for a ball. The guard wore this beautiful dress and the princess was so enraptured by it that she dropped her spear and then it was this whole big commotion. I just…. I know I’m here to, you know, kill the Archduke, but I’ve always wanted to wear something pretty like that too.”

“I’m really sorry I kidnapped your friend. I really, really am."

“Faking a digestive system always makes me nauseous. I think I should go throw up.”

“Ok, two things, Mashal. One, since when can Avymere fight? Are they like, good good? Like break my neck in some crazy flip good? Second, you were a soldier?”

“Sunflight? I shouldn’t have told you about him, about any of it. I have to do this. If I don’t, I’m nothing. Just another broken toy, like you said. I need to prove that I’m more!"

I'd say it's a 50/50 as to whether their dialog is sobbed or giggled. He really is a twenty something teenage girl who loves smut and starbucks at heart, he just got stuck in the wrong genre.

I'll tag @somethingclevermahogony @corinneglass @patrickrennie @halfbakedspuds and open tag :)

#writing #writerscommunity #writblr #my ocs #oc in 15 tag

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cryptidfagswag · 11 months

Text

Band is over for the year and I'm sad, here are all of the quotes I've gathered from it (long) (very long) (contains sex jokes)

I've got myelin on my jeez-o-pete

Ohp- that's not how you put pants on

Great sound! but the battery died :(

Low brass, can you count to six?

Who won the race? not the band

Let's go swimming, no I might die

You're just eating flour now. Mmmm delicious, I'm choking

Why are you thinking about his cock? Thats not very "I like women'' of you

You do everything he says, he's got this big ass knife

Shit me, fuck me, stick me in a can

You're good with that?

I mean, yeah, I know how to use an elevator-

*carrying chimes up the stairs,*

Don't mind me, just a fairy

Festive, super festive, like Santa threw up

They will not be held responsible unless they stab you directly with a sea urchin

What kind of pie?

Pie!!!

Put your bongos away Noah, you delinquent

Nah I like my men with nice tits

Can you feel it, the rays of sunshine, joy, fear

Hey, it's kinda hot up here. It's not really, I just want you to take off your clothes

Anyone want…plugs

If you can suck a mouthpiece, you can suck a dick

That shits gonna kill you

That's the point

Chicken pot?

Pie!!!

Causes microwave issues

C'mon, fuck me in the ass. With a condom, don't forget that part

How are you today

Pretty fucking horny

See, now I know you're gonna hide

But you don't know where

I'm sticking my penis places it shouldn't be. Like the meat grinder. I'm making sauce, making it saucy

Let's play happy!

Oh, I am not happy anymore

Industry baby!

Everybody just started sobbing, you cannot think this is a good idea

He took, no, he took his skin and fed it to his family, he's a good luck charm

When I die, I wanna get cremated and put into a blunt

Ah, fuck me

Was that an invitation?

Was that an offer?

Contrary to popular belief, I am in fact a bottom

Murder hornets all over those clarinets

Sweet Caroline, fuck my ass

There's nothing inspiring about your digga-digga-dahts

Oboe- gods gift to the woodwind section

It's not a gift, it's a a hazard

Oboe, more like oh no

I just burped on the snare

What the fuck-

Just thought I’d let you boys know

Look, a Lowe's! We're gonna build a wall!

Poom poom

Beacon no, we promised we'd stop

I'm the recessive trait hiding in your phenotypes

I'd make out with you in a Denny's parking lot, and I'd suck your dick outside and IHOP

Do you have a shitty pancake restaurant kink?

Ok no, if you got a worm, and fried it in cheese, it would be exactly like a cheeto

Honestly I would eat a worm raw

Ohp you're too tall, I decapitated you

Friends, colleagues, fucking rat bastards

He dropped his euphonium on my tuba once. Well, not my tuba, if it was my tuba I would've murdered him.

We need an instrument. Aha! So, a clarinetist walks into a bar- no-

Where did you even get that?

Theft? I don't know

Babies aren't supposed to be that cute, they're like, all mushy. There's too much skin and not enough surface area

The guy with the bottle of rocks looked like he was having fun

Silas is in the shit container

Honestly I'm just really tired and really horny

A balloon fetish, like, do you stick your penis in a balloon

Dude if a worm looks at me, I will cry for like, two hours

Dad, where do babies come from? Mmm storks

I could fight someone with my cheeks and win

Do you need lungs to play the trumpet? No

Sorry I can't come to band today, my pigs are giving birth

I'm straight but I too would offer my hole to him

Wyatt put your trumpet mouthpiece in this

Do not put your trumpet mouthpiece in this

Vape? Nah, half a clarinet

Have you seen gus?

Oh he's over there getting molested by his mustard yellow friends

I can't wait to get to Hawaii and say 'bonjour, mexico'

It burns my mouth like a hot pocket from hell

I am shiny, fabulous, and full of syrup

I had to manhandle my English muffin

Stop crying, start smoking

I like the humidity. Makes me feel moisturized. Like I'm being licked by the atmosphere, everywhere on my body

No I would like to sex him with considerable vigor

Don't you wanna climb up those mountains, it looks so appetizing. Gonna slurp up those clouds

Oh is that nice on your cute little patoots

Anyone got weed up there?

Yeah! Do you want me to just, like, toss it down?

I remember you, you were useless

Penguins, cause they have toes. That's gonna go well

Let loose and defenestrate

I like it, you look like a stripper

I want to vomit with gusto, with enthusiasm

I am actually a trained exorcist

I like that in a man

That did considerable hurt upon me. I did not like that

They went spearfishing together, that's the gayest shit I've heard all week

Who would win, Scheels or an orca

As in, dressing up in a dinosaur costume and fighting Elvis

We say 'here's the tune,' and then we all just scream for six minutes

Damn girl, what those knees do

Hold on a minute, im sacrificing a freshman to the old gods

No, no, come back, i'm getting sacrificed

I've heard you play, you sound scrumptious, you sound slaylicious

Isn't today a special day to be a third trumpet

No, part of my personality is I'm just having an existential crisis, all the time

That's not smoke on the water, that's I smoked too much

I want to be the justice, wrath, and love of God all at once

He has his masters in going hee honk

Do you like country? Well you're about to find out

He drives like a maniac with his colossal biceps

How do you do the alphabet? It's complicated

Why did you touch your toes like that?

Because we're thermostats

I don't want to know your name, I like our relationship the way it is

You have no business wanting my skin

I will feed your sun dried bones to the old gods

Mack, what time do we get out?

Like, 10:40

What time is it?

10:22

Jesus balls

Violence is not the answer

But cannibalism is

Our churches are all, like, old Walmarts

Shake that bagpipe? Yes please

Everyone's days are numbered

Your number is significantly lower than the average american

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countrymusiclover · 11 months

Text

9 - Haunting Vengeance

Part 10

Gemini Runaway

@dragonixfrye

Klaus vamped us upstairs where I went into the bedroom I had changing into the green tea shirt and some sleep shorts that I had on before we went on our date. Walking around the house I finally found him standing in front of a large fireplace. Stepping around the couch I plopped down on the floor. “Alright so I’m gonna need a knife and some candles. Then you sit across from me.”

He vamped through the house coming back with what I needed crossing his legs when he sat down across from me. “What exactly should I be prepared for, Raelyn?”

“Basically it will be like when you showed me your memories with your sister. Except it will take a lot of my strength to do something like this. I’ve only ever heard of witches doing something like this so I will be very rusty at this…give me your hands please.” Holding my hands out flat he placed his larger ones in mine. “Inteo….Merabas hic libatal….Insertia."

Klaus’s eyes shifted to focus onto mine then dropped down to the knife near my feet. The candles around us light up for a brief moment then returned to their normal flame control. "What exactly is the knife for then if this is a mind spell?"

“I have to link my body with yours since you’re immortal and can’t die. You don’t have to worry about it. I am just doing this as a precaution.” Picking up the knife I drew the blade lightly across my palm doing the same to Klaus’s where I quickly began chanting since he would heal at a faster rate then I would. “Phasmatos tribum, melan veras raddiam, onu pavadus ponemus.” Insertia.." Klaus sniffed trying to control the urge when he smelt the siphons blood. The candle flames grew bigger once more before there was a slight wind and Raelyn closed her eyes so he did too entering the witches mind.

“Uncle Joshua, how can we help? We don’t have magic of our own.” Jacob asked, holding my hand in his while he led us outside into the middle of nowhere in the woods of Portland.

I began to feel nervous in the pit of my stomach. He had shown up at our house saying that we needed to come with him immediately and since he was our Uncle we listened. "You said there was an emergency. What kind?”

"The problem is our Coven of witches will die unless you two Merge." He stopped in his tracks drawing a knife from his back pocket.

Jacob looked back at me. "Merge, what does that mean?"

"It's a tradition that our witch Coven must do. Twins in our family are in line to be leaders. That's what you two will be. You must contain your magic together and the stronger of the two will become the leader." He explained handing the blade outward to me.

Reaching my hand forward I heard someone breaking through the treeline seeing our mother and father. "Joshua stop! I told you that I don’t want to help you. I will not let you kill my children!”

“I don’t care, Eliza. Incendia Bulla.” Joshua raised his hand trapping my brother in a ring of fire before he grabbed his head making Jacob drop to his knees screaming. “Ah Sha Lana.”

I screamed trying to move forwards but I smacked an invisible wall. “Jacob!”

“Let my boy go, Joshua!” Our father yelled but he got thrown backwards into the dirt.

My mother ran forward shoving her hands on the fire wall, burning her fingers until the magic in the ring died down letting her inside the circle. She ran forward grabbing her brother by her shoulder with her hands turning red siphoning his magic. “You can go to hell, Joshua. You aren’t my brother anymore.”

“Eliza you still don’t realize do you…” Her brother grabbed her by her throat, choking her making her claw at his wrist. “If the twins don’t merge before I die then the entire coven dies along with me. That means you and your children will die even if they don’t merge!”

Raising my hand I broke the barrier spell chanting the words in a panic. “Solvet…Now let my mother go and we will merge.” Stomping up to my brother grasping his hand in mine.

“Raelyn. Jacob, no!” She cried when he released her trying to catch her breath.

Uncle Joshua walked around our parents placing his hands on top of our intertwined hands. “Let the Merge begin then my niece and nephew.”

Sniffing through tears I watched the image of my brother dead at my feet. Clutching my hands around Klaus’s I gasped drawing my body back wrapping my arms around myself shaking. “After that moment my twin brother was dead because of me….because I wanted to save my mother from her own brother.”

“I’m sorry, Raelyn. I would have killed that man for doing that to anyone in my family.” Klaus told me where I could see his jaw clutching at the thought of seeing someone else hurting the witch in front of him.

Hugging my knees to my chest I turned my hands into fists with my knuckles almost turning white at how hard I was pressing them closed together. “I feel like a monster when I wake up in my bed from plotting a nightmare where I got my revenge on my uncle Joshua. I shouldn’t want to hurt him or the rest of my supposed family but - he took my best friend and twin from me - he tricked us into becoming a killer just like he is.”

“That’s normal in my world, Raelyn. And if you wish it I could go compel some of my hybrids to go and kill him.” He reached over, placing his hand on mine.

“No!” I snapped my head up seeing him raise a brow at my forwardness. “If anyone gets to hurt him someday it will be me and only me ... .god I should like a horrible person don’t I?”

“I’m a thousand year hybrid vampire, Rae.” He sent me a smirk raising to his feet tugging me up to stand alongside him.

“But Klaus-“

He cut me off, tucking some hair behind my ear resting his hand on my cheek where I leaned into his palm. “Rae, stop talking for a second and think. You didn’t know that the Merge meant to kill one of you because he lied. Yes you may have been stronger than your brother and that is sad. But you have to stop having a pity party and enjoy it otherwise your brother may have died for nothing.”

Flinging my arms around his neck I sniffed happily into his shirt. He wrapped his arms around my waist kissing the crown of my hair. Breaking the hug he squeezed my hand in his right. “Thank you, Nik. I’m sorry that I am an emotional mess.”

“I’m sorry" are two words you never have to say to me ever again, Raelyn Lane. Now will you join me for a family reunion?” He smiled and I sent him back the same look when we traveled to a storage place where he got a phone call and it apparently was Stefan. “Stefan. Miss me already?”

Stefan responded when he put the phone on speaker so I could hear him. “I'm just calling to thank you for my freedom.”

Klaus responded by sending me a cheeky smile coming up on the storage locker. “I like to believe I'm a man of my word. More or less.”

Stefan spoke back. “The thing is, it came at too high of a price. You took everything from me, Klaus.”

“Let bygones be bygones. Trust me, resentment gets old.” The hybrid warned him.

“You know what never gets old?” Klaus opens the truck listening to his former friend. The coffins have disappeared. “Revenge.”,

Klaus growled. “No!”

“Stefan what are you trying to do? You shouldn’t take someone else’s family” I snapped at the vampire not liking that he seems to not care. If Jacob was still alive and he did this I might want revenge too.

Klaus snarled into the cell where he just might break the whole thing in his tight grip. “What are you doing?”

Stefan responded. “I'm just enjoying my freedom.”

Klaus threatened the vampire flashing me his golden werewolf eyes. “I will kill you and everyone you've ever met!”

Stefan clicked his tongue hanging up the phone “You do that and you'll never see your family again. I wonder, Klaus. As someone who's been one step ahead for 1,000 years. Were you prepared for this?” Lifting my head up to the original hybrid I didn’t know him well but I knew he would make him pay for stealing his family.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

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dynamic-k · 4 months

Text

Second's Tale MAJOR Spoiler

La la la~

Don't mind me~

Casually dropping a lil' spoiler again because it's funny~

Also somehow chapter 12 of Super Sticks is halfway done, soooo...

Unknown Chapter

"Ah!" Vic choked out, voice strained. He chuckled nervously. "Jade! Long... time no see?"

The grip tightened and Vic gasped in pain as his chest was locked up in the bright, virus red entity's grasp.

"YOU," Jade's voice thundered in a glitchy tone through the hard light creation he was remotely controlling. His emotions were clearly sarcastic in their tone despite the filtered audio of his speech. "My former boss. I hope you've been enjoying yourself."

"Not as much as you'd assume," Vic answered honestly, wiggling slightly in a futile attempt at escaping the glowing entity's secure grasp. "In fact, I don't plan on holding my position much longer."

"Oh, I know that~" Jade huffed out a laugh. "And that's why I'm here now, to intercept you before you scamper off without facing the consequences of your actions."

"Look, I'm sorry I fired you," Vic started. "It wasn't fair and I shouldn't-"

"Shut up!" Jade yelled. His voice grew angrier and more violent as he went on. "I don't want to hear your stupid excuses! You're not sorry. You're only saying that to save your own skin because I'm in the position of power now."

Vic couldn't say anything, too terrified by the huge creature that held him.

"I poured everything into this company!" Jade continued. "But it wasn't enough. No matter how many missions I completed, nor how flawlessly they were done, you never once thanked me, nor showed me any sort of appreciation. And the ONE time I failed a mission --which, by the way, was only due to my MISINFORMATION on the Dark Lord's supposed death-- YOU FIRED ME!! And now... Heh... Now I'm here. And your tyrannical rule is about to end, for good."

"Are you gonna kill me?" Vic muttered, taking another slow and increasingly desperate intake of air as it was getting harder to breathe normally.

Jade's laugh was a loud, booming noise that echoed throughout the whole room.

"No. I won't..." Jade said with a slight sigh, before his voice shifted into a more sing-song, taunting sort of tone. "But~"

"Really don't like that tone of voice you're using," Vic mumbled with another strained gasp.

"Buuut~" Jade was clearly smiling, Vic could hear it in his tone. "I am going to take my revenge."

"Sounds like a classic villain thing to s-" Vic started to quip before the grip tightened and he yelped.

"YOU'RE THE VILLAIN, HERE!" Jade's voice roared. "Maybe that should have been your name. They both start with V, don't they?"

Vic gasped as the hold loosened just enough for him to get air again, though it was still very near to strangling him.

"But then again, your real name is rather fitting...." Jade's voice dropped several decibels, unnervingly calm. "Victim."

Vic's eyes widened and his face paled. How did-

"I bet you're wondering how I know that," Jade told him while letting out a laugh.

Vic stared silently --shaking involuntarily all the while-- at the slightly transparent creature that Jade was controlling. He couldn't speak. His throat was dry and words eluded him.

victim. victim. victim. victim. victim.

"I was a victim of your oppression, you hockey-stick," Jade growled. "Now you're about to be the victim of me as I tear apart everything you love and worked hard for."

#ao3 fanfic #animator vs. animation #Second's Tale AU #Spoilers #ava victim #ava Jade (OC)#>:3 #Super Sticks AU

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strawberriescherrieskiwi · 1 year

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Blood of Mine

Part Four of Moment of Impact

Series Description: Ah young love? Everyone wants an epic love story and to be in love forever. You luckily had a story for the ages… sadly it involves murder, drugs, and possibly prison sentences, though it would all be worth it for him. Meeting Timmy was unplanned, but you wouldn’t change a thing.

DarkTimmy fic featuring a murderous Y/n.

Chapter Description: After days of being separated, Y/n and Timmy are together once more and are ready to make up for lost time and hitting the bar is the first stop.

Wordcount: 3.6K+

Warning for chapter: 18+ (please no minors!!!), murder, smut, stabbing, oral next to dead body, drug use, abusive language, slut shaming, slight bloodplay, slight mention of suicidal thoughts, physical and verbally fighting, pushing, shoving

Timmy slowly walked out of the darker part of the alleyway and closer to you, smirking. “Why am I not surprised to find you murdering someone?” He teased as he leaned down to examine the body of the detective.

You pouted at the lack of attention he was giving you. It’s only been a few days since you parted ways, but it felt like a lifetime apart. Since running away together, you two have barely spent any time out of each other presence.

“Stop pouting. You are the one killing people without me… again,” he said laughing, pulling your knife out of the detective’s body. He wiped it off on his ripped jeans before turning to face you.

“My pretty girl, what happened?” He asked, cupping your face.

“He killed his wife, he was going to frame you and he didn’t keep his hands to himself. He needed to be killed, I was doing a service,” you said with a shrug, grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling him down for a heated kiss.

Timmy moaned pulling you roughly closer to him making your bodies flush against each other. He was already hard and you couldn’t help but moaned into his mouth, pushing him against the wall next to the dead body that was all but ignored by you two as you got lost in each other.

“Words can not describe how much I’ve missed you,” He panted as you dragged your lips over his neck, sucking and biting at the skin there.

“Fuck I missed you too, Timmy,” you moaned as he squeezed your breast.

“I’m never letting you make a plan again.”

“It worked,” You argued dropping to your knees, and pulling his cock out of his pants, wrapping your lips around his cock.

Timmy groaned, resting his head against the wall as he watched you suck his cock. He loved just about everything about you, but nothing compared to the way you looked on your knee with his cock in your mouth.

“Seems like it wasn’t just me you missed,” he commented, grabbing your chin and guiding his cock further into your mouth. Relaxing your jaw and allowing him to force more of his cock down your throat.

“Fuck I love when you let me take control and fuck your mouth. You just killed a man, still have his blood on you and now you are letting me fuck that pretty throat. You are unreal,” he said, picking up speed.

You both knew it was risky, you were outside of the police station with a dead cop, but it only worked to turn you both on more. Timmy moaned loudly as he fucked your throat, tightening his hands in your hair.

“Fuck this throat gonna fucking end me, I swear,” he said as your throat tightened around his cock. He slipped deeper causing you to choke and your eyes to water, which was too much for Timmy, and came down your throat, filling your mouth.

You moaned as you felt his cum slide down your throat. You eagerly swallowed, catching the amount that ran down your face, licking your fingers before leaning forward to clean his cock.

He hissed always so sensitive after cumming, but you ignored him as you made sure to get your lips and tongue on every single part of him. You looked up at him when you were done, leaning on your calves. “As much as I love your cock, I missed you more,” you said.

He grinned lazily down at you, grabbing your forearm and pulling you to your face, kissing you hungrily. “Fuck I want to fuck you right now, but we need to go,” He groaned, biting your lower lip.

“Later, I am all yours,” you said, grabbing his hand. He nodded, slapping his cheek, needing to clear his mind of the lustful spell you put him under. He was also really high and just wanted to fuck you silly but getting away needed to be more important.

“Okay, okay, the car is nearby, we should get as far away from here as possible,” he said, squeezing your hand and running towards the car. It was the same one that the cops know about and you two would have to get rid of it soon.

Getting in the driver's seat you turned and press your lips gently to his, kissing him with everything in you. “I’m so happy you are okay, I thought they would find you,” you mumbled against his lips.

“Thanks to your plan I was able to get away. You weren’t treated badly, were you? I’ll go back there and kill anyone that dared to treat my girl badly,” he said, gripping your neck, his eyes begging you to tell him the truth and letting you see just how serious he was about his threat.

Chuckling you leaned forward, biting his lip until he hissed and it bled. You pulled away, kissing his neck, biting roughly as well. “You are so hot when you are like this, Timmy, but besides that dead asshole, no one was dumb enough. They all knew how crazy my husband is,” you said, pulling away to look at your handy work.

Timmy wiped his bloody lip and smeared it all over your face roughly. “Fucking hell when you bite me, I want to fuck you to hell and back,” he said, roughly kissing you, returning the bloody lip.

He pulled away breathing heavily, blood was all over his face now, but neither of you cared as you stared at each other. His grip on your neck tightened before he let go and gently cupped your face.

“I’m so happy to be with you again. I worried so much, I had to drink myself into a coma to stop from coming to get you back. My girl, my bloody queen,” he said, softly. His eyes were softer than before, more vulnerable than earlier.

“Was afraid you’ll turn me in and leave me,” he confessed. Thumb rubbing against your chin. You whined moving to his lap, both hurt and sad that he thought you would do that, but you knew it was his insecurity to be lied to and left.

You thought about his wife and wish you could go back in time and murder her all over again, but you knew it wasn’t just her who hurt your husband, one day you’ll make everyone that ever dared to hurt him pay.

“Baby, baby baby, You’re mine. I told you that the night we might and I mean it more and more each day I mean it. You are mind. Look at you right now, covered in my blood and I’m covered in yours. There is no one else for me but you, You’re it for me,” you said, locking your hands behind his neck and pulling him closer.

Timmy looked up at you through his lashes, a slight hint of doubt still clouding his eyes, but you just hugging him to you. “Your blood is mine, your soul is mine. My life, my love, my being is all yours. We belong to no one but each other in this world, remember that baby,” you said, letting your lips ghost over his forehead a few times as you both held each other. The car was silent besides your breathing and as much as you knew that you needed to leave there was nowhere you rather be than right here with him.

“I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t doubt your love. I know you love me, I know we are forever, but sometimes my mind fucking plays games,” He said after a few minutes. “You love me and you wouldn’t dare leave me,” he said. It was a threat, a promise, and a turn-on.

If Grant said something like that you would have been terrified, but there was never fear when it came to Timmy even when you watched him beat a person to death, you knew he would never raise a hand to hurt you. Your love and your obsession with each other wouldn’t allow it.

You both would rather kill yourselves than hurt the other. There was nothing you two wouldn’t do for each other, which is why you allowed yourself to be caught by the police so Timmy would get away, telling him to meet you at the station in two days.

“I would never leave you, Timmy. Once you’re mine, you’re mine for life. No, takebacks,” you said kissing him frantically, needing him to not just hear your words, but to feel them as well. Your hands tangled in his hair and you rolled your hips down on him.

Timmy moaned into your mouth, cupping your breasts and burrowing his face into them, biting harshly on your flesh. “Love you so much, if you leave me I’ll just die,” he mumbled.

“I’ll never dare. And if you try to leave me, I’ll kill you,” you promised tenderly. Your words reassured him and he bit your nipples before pulling your shirt and bra off and tossing them in the backseat.

“I need to be inside of you now baby,” he said, shoving his pants down his thighs, before working on your own, lifting your hips you helped him take them off before tossing them in the back with the rest of your clothes.

“We are going to get arrested fucking,” you warned him but spat in your hand regardless. You grabbed his cock stroking him a few times before guiding him into you. You sunk all the way down on his cock, biting your lip to keep your moans to yourself.

His breath hitched as he was engulfed in his favorite place in the world. He grabbed your hips holding you down on his cock, savoring the feeling of connecting with you once more. “Got so fucking tight. How the fuck did that happen? Two days without my cock and you are fucking sucking me in,” He breathed into your skin.

“I missed this cock, so much. Missed you being inside of me. You always stretch me so well, Timmy. Fuck your cock is big. I’m going to ride you so hard baby,” you purred, clenching his shoulders as you picked up your hips and down them back down causing you both to groan out.

“Fuck go ahead fucking ride me baby.” He said his hips snapping upwards into you.

“Like I need your permission,” you teased, chuckled, riding his cock faster setting a fast tempo, as much as you wanted to ride him all night, you had no plans to actually get arrested.

The car rocked and grow hot. His skin glowed and turned a lovely shade of pink and you couldn’t help but roll your hips faster. “Fuck you look like a fucking god right now, Timmy,” you whimpered.

“Fucking hell, baby do you not know you are a fucking goddess right now, fucking all the time, the shit you do to me is unreal,” he said meeting you thrust for thrust until your walls spasmed around him and his cock pulse wildly

Your lips found his in an aggressive kiss, you could taste your blood on his lips and you moaned into his mouth as you lost control and climaxed. “Timmy, Timmy, Timmy,” you chanted urging him to finish. “Need your come, Timmy,”

“Shit, okay. Gonna fucking fill you so good, Y/n” He said grabbing your neck and biting your next hard as he spilled inside of you. Your eyes rolled in the back of your head as you lazily moved on his cock, until it was too much and you went slack against his chest.

Your eyes closed as you listened to his heartbeat and heavy panting as he held you in his arms. Every few seconds his hips twitched making you cry out. “Shush, I got you, I’m here,” he soothed, kissing your shoulders, breasts, neck, and cheeks.

“Yeah, I know. You always got me,” you replied, completely spent. “I’m sleepy,” You added, not realizing that you hadn’t slept since you last saw him and it was all fitting you now.

At the police station, you were wired, you didn’t trust anyone and had to stay alert, but you were safe and with Timmy, you could shut down for a bit. “Sleep, mon amour,” he whispered.

When you woke up, it was dark outside, but you could tell you’d slept a full day. You were in the backseat, dressed in shorts and one of Timmy’s flannel. All the windows were down in the car as Timmy hummed along to a song on the radio.

Yawning, you sit up, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “Hey, why did you let me sleep for so long,” You said, pressing a kiss to his cheek before climbing across the seat.

Timmy smiled, giving your thigh an affectionate pinch as it almost hit him in the face. “I didn’t want to wake you, you looked like you could use the rest,” He said, slipping his hand into yours.

“Where are we?” You questioned looking out the window before grabbing the drink in the cupholder, moaning when it was a Baja blast and Vodka.

Timmy grinned over at you, digging in his pocket for something, taking his hands off the wheel, causing the car to swerve. You quickly grabbed the wheel, swerving back into the right lane. “Sorry baby I just got something for you,” he said, pulling out his little familiar tin case. “I got this when you were asleep, thought you would want a hit,” he grinned goofily.

“Aren’t you the most considered,” you said, planting another kiss on his cheek, taking the tin, opening it and putting some of the white powder on your fingers before tilting your head back and snorting it into your nose. You moaned, relaxing into the seat.

“Hey hey, don’t forget back me,” Timmy said, slapping your thigh.

Laughing you sat up, putting more on your finger, holding it up to his nose. “I wouldn’t dare think about leaving you out. Now after you got this for me.”

“Damn right. But that did take up the rest of the money we have right now. And we need to ditch the car, get some clothes if we want to make it.”

You nodded, tapping your fingers along the dashboard as you thought. “Where are we again?”

“Georgia.”

“Hmm,” you snort more into your nose, offering him some more as you thought. You glanced over at him. “Are you okay? After last night?” You asked.

Timmy smiled, looking over at you, taking your hand. “Never better. I got you by my side again. I’m on cloud nine baby,” he said, adding a wet kiss to your hand.

“I’m glad. And I’m yours,” you said, moving across the seat to be closer to him. You ghosted your fingers along his exposed collarbone due to his open shirt.

“I guess we should go karaoking,” you said sweetly. “Give Georgia a run for its money.”

Timmy smirked, wrapping his arm around you, kissing you not caring about the road as he got lost in your lips. “What a perfect idea baby.”

Timmy sat in the back of the bar, nursing a drink as his eyes scan the room. It was packed wall to wall, but you paid no mind as you finished off your fourth drink, grabbed a fifth and made your way towards the stage.

“Hi, Hi. I have a song I’ve always wanted to sing, I hope you all enjoy it,” You said, only slurring your words slightly. The crowd cheered, most of them just as drunk as you. You grinned, selecting your pick.

The guitar started and your hips rocked along to the music. “Let’s go girls” You screamed grinning widely. You loved this song, it was always your got-to song and you always got a good reaction, who didn’t love this song.

By the time the second chorus the whole room was engaged singing along. “Men’s shirt, Short skirt,” You sang as you moved around the bar, jumping into some man’s lap and singing to him as you moved around going from person to person.

It was one of the only times you didn’t mind other people’s hands on your body. You were in your element, singing, drinking, and having a good time. All your worries were gone as you moved, teasingly tugging on your shorts as if you were going to tug them off, making the room lose their minds.

You were standing on the bar by the time climax of the song hit, performing as if you were at a concert. Some man’s hands were sliding up your legs, you giggled playfully shoving them off, before your arm were roughly grabbing and you were pulled off the bar into familiar arms

“Are you doing being a slut for everyone in the bar?” Timmy growled in your face, tightening his hold on your arm.

“Timmy, I’m having fun. Calm down,” you laughed, pulling your arm out of his hold. “I’m just warming up,” you said rising your voice, causing the people nearby you to cheer.

You grinned turning to blow them a kiss, when Timmy grabbed you again, shaking you slightly. “You are fucking down for the night.”

“You aren’t the boss of me,” you said, glaring at him. “If you want to go, then go. I’m having fun, you should fucking try it.”

Timmy clenched his jaw, tugging you against his body. “Don’t fucking play games with me right now, Y/n.”

“Whose playing games,” you smirked, shoving him off walking away from him. He followed after you, pushing people out of the way as he grabbed the back of your neck, slamming you against a table.

You gasped, your eyes darkening for a moment before shoving him off. “You’ve lost your fucking mind, Timothee,” you said.

“And you had enough to drink and snort and whatever else you’ve put in your body. I can’t take you anywhere, with you trying to whore yourself out to everyone.”

You frowned. “I am not,”

“Don’t fucking insult me as if you were up there begging some sleazy bastards to fuck you. It’s trashy and disgusting.”

Your eyes filled with tears. “Fuck you. I was having fun, isn’t that what we came here for?” You asked, voice full of hurt.

Timmy’s eyes soften for a moment, his hand twitched to touch you, but he reframed, closing his eyes before scoffing. “If I wanted a wife that was slutty I would have stayed with my first one.” He said turning to walk away.

You gasped, eyes filling with rage. You shoved him again. “You fucking dick. And if I wanted a controlling, psychopath I would have stayed with Grant.”

He froze, turning around to face you. “You want to stay here and get fucked by someone here, fucking do it, I don’t give a shit. He grabbed your forearm, dragging you back towards the bar.

By now half the room was watching the two of you. Timmy shoved you against the bar and you quickly grabbed the edge to keep yourself from falling. “Do whatever and whoever you want, but don’t expect me to stay around for that shit,” he spat.

You whipped around to stare at him. You both just stared at each other for a moment before you looked away. “Fine, I will. Find someone to take me to a hotel and fuck me all over the place. You think I care if you are waiting around for me.” You scoffed. “Blood of mine,” you spat at him as if it was a curse word.

Timmy grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you to him and forcing you to meet his eyes. He said nothing as he stared down at you, taking in your misty eyes that held more than tears. You stared back silently before he nodded, releasing you. “Have fun,” he said, though it sound more like an order, but also a slight warning.

You still didn’t speak as he walked out away, holding to the exit. Your heartbeat wildly threatening to jump out of your chest as you watched him go. Taking a seat at the bar, you order a shot, slamming your hands weakly on the bar.

The seat next to you were filled the next moment and some man was rubbing your back. “That seemed shitty,” he said.

You chuckled, but it was more of a sob. “Yeah, he’s… god he gets like that. I hate it, he’s so controlling and I hate it, but I can’t leave him,” You said, looking at the man sadly.

He smirked, moving his hand to your thigh, giving you a squeeze. “You deserve better than him. Such a pretty girl needs a better man, yeah, not one that treats you like that.”

You sniffled. “I just have the worse luck with men.”

“Not tonight, why don’t we get out of here, hmm?” He said.

“I think I had too much to drink and just need to sleep it off,” you said standing up from your seat, slipping slightly.

He caught you, wrapping an arm around your waist. “You can sleep it off at mine,” He said and began ushering you out of the bar. You didn’t fight him letting him pulling you outside.

The cold air hit your arms and legs making you shiver and move closer to the man, causing him to grin. “My car isn’t far,” he said as he guided you.

You nodded, not listening as your eyes scanned the lot. Leaning against a pole smoking stood Timmy. His eyes glued to your form. He stared at the hands on your waist before meeting your eyes.

You slyly smiled at him as his stare burned into yours, he smirked shaking his head as he took a drag of his cigarette.

Yes, you were definitely going to have fun today. You thought as you were ushered into the car.

Taglist.

@gatoenlaciudad

@blackqueenstarseed1

#timothée chalamet #timothee chalamet imagine #timothée chalamet x reader #timothee chalamet fanfic #dark timothee #timothee chamalet #timothee chalamet x reader #timmy x reader #moment of impact

56 notes · View notes

weirdcat1213 · 8 months

Text

volume 9 you say....hmm

i fear for my life to be completely honest

anyway HERE WE GO HERE ARE THE THOUGHTS

chap 1:

-geesus no pls no i dont wanna read anymore

-FLASHBACK TIME :D WIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

-3 days of crying is nothing when youre a trigun fan, am i right people :'D

-no im not fucking suffering cuz while all of that is happening the only thing on his mind is young livio NO IM FINE I SWEAR-

-lmao yeah wolfwood call him out >:D

-"you cant understand how i feel" my brother in christ YOURE SURROUNDED BY ORPHANS

-hmmmmmmmmm i mean im not sure if that applies here but who am i to tell him how he feels, sure buddy. happy for you

-geesus man not the dog, like....WHY THE DOG (i think ik why but still)

-tbh i would also go and ask for an explanation

-nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo :c

-ah shit so we're here now oh fuck oh shit okokok cool

-ah yes, sweet bait actually, makes me cry every time

-"once this ark scare is over we'll be living the high life" yeaaaahhhh....about that.....

-YO LEAVE THE ORPHAN ALONE DAMN

-thanks livio :3

chap 2:

-about his age i think hes on his 20s mentally but he looks like hes on his 30s, so hes still an adult but yknow...younger

-oh his eye :0 i love that tiny window between his glasses and his face where you can see his eyes, makes me sad every time

-the coolest mf

-"worse" you say...i wonder who did that to him...

-fuck off, take those fucking tears somewhere else old man

-OOOOOOHHHHH THAT PANEL!!! SO GOOD SO GOOD

-THANKS AGAIN LIVIO (livio's good actions counter: 2 so far) BUT FUCK THAT OLD MAN

chap 3:

-:c

-HES THERE AND HES COMING I PROMISE

-STFU I SWEAR SHUT UP WOLFWOOD PLS JUST ENJOY YOUR STUPID CIGARRETE

-oh ok yeah here we go

-GEESUS MAN, i hope someone kick you ass later

-aw livio noooooo :c

-NAH NO PLS NO BROTHER FIGHT NO NO

-damn

chap 4:

-no that fucking title while theyre bleeding holy crap no stop it nightow stop it

-leave my man alone plsssssssssssssssss

-OH I FUCKING FELT THAT. WOLFWOOD REACHING FOR ANOTHER MAGAZINE AND LIVIO SHOOTING AT THE SAME MOMENT. I FELT THAT

-oh thats...thats kinda hot actually (i say while wolfwood fights for his little life)

-i love nightow taking his fucking time. yes sir i will enjoy a page of the vial dropping from his mouth without any dialogue, thank you sir

-PAIN :D

-SHUT UP OLD MAN

-"please survive"................................im gonna need a million years

chap 5:

-VASH BABY WHERE ARE YOU I NEED YOU

-demon....while hes killing his bro.....i have a limit thats all im saying

-ITS CALLED LOVE BITCH

-HE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE HONOR HE JUST WANTED TO PROTECT HIS HOME WTF

-STOP TALKING AND KILL HIM MAN CMONNNN

-oh....he looks so pretty tho. likes he came back to life and is surrounded by his servants....damn that goes hard...

-oh yeah, that arm that had no explanation whatsoever. its ok tho, nightow gets a pass

-ah fuck.....hes here...

-yeap, you could say thats a demon ig

chap 6:

-AH YES SAD FLASHBACK IN MENTAL PALACE MAKES ME GO BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. ONE OF THE BEST THINGS EVER IM TELLING YA :D

-im sorry

-im jumping through the window idc anymore. poor livio man

-"fortitude".........yeah.....

-yeap that is scary as hell RUN WOLFWOOD GET TF OUTTA THERE

-DONT SMILE LIKE THAT YOU FREAK

-NONONONONONON SHUT UP WOLFWOOD SHUT UP

-STOPPPPPPPPPPPP

-STOPL PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE

-DIOS IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH

-orange if you animate this i will punch you but also kiss you in the lips

-i wonder what he means with that bell thats supposed to be tolling. hmmm. maybe its like a "hey come back to reality" kind of alarm thats not sounding

nightow you amazing bastard

#trigun #trimax #trigunbookclub #i cant #fuck #fuckkk #FUCK #el woowoo :c

18 notes · View notes

hannahhook7744 · 1 year

Text

Badun Detective Agency Incorrect Quotes (Part 1);

Trigger warnings; death threats, faking a disability, swearing, crime, etc. Let me know if I should add to the trigger warnings.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Hermie: Eddie, quick, reel it in! Can't you hear the music? That's a 4/4 string ostinato in D minor! Every sailor knows that means death! Reel it in before it's too late!

Eddie *wishing he hadn't gone fishing with Hermie* I know, I know I'm trying!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Harry: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.

Jace: Go the fuck to sleep Harry

Harry: Rude!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Yzla: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Eddie: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Jace: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.

Reza: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Harry: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Hermie: I have emotional scars.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Jace: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE A SPLEEN?

Harry: Oh, I thought I told you about that.

Eddie *sipping on a slurpee* no, no. You told me about that after I told you about my kidney.

Jace: YOU'RE MISSING A KIDNEY?!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Jace, rubbing their temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarette

Yzla: But Jace, we don't smoke.

Jace: Cut the crap, Yzla. I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.

Jace *points at Eddie* One! *points at Harry* Two! *points at Reza* Three! *points at Hermie* Four! *points at Yzla* Five!

Jace: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarette between these two fingers!

Harry *puts a cigarette in Jace's hand*

Jace: Thank you....Light?

The Squad: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Hermie: I’m in love with you.

Eddie: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Hermie: I know.

Eddie: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Reza: Did it hurt when you fell-

Yzla: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt—

Reza: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Yzla:

Reza: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Eddie: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Hermie: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Eddie:

Eddie: You mean ring bearER, right?

Hermie:

Eddie: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Yzla: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate—like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Reza: This is a lie.

Reza: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Reza: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Yzla: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Reza: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Yzla: Stop.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

~~~Bonus: The Protégés~~~

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Hadie *sighing* a fate worse than death.

Yzla *embarrassed and annoyed* They're burnt cupcakes! They aren't gonna kill you!

Hadie: that's what they all say.

Yzla: Who's they?!

Hadie *shrugs* They.

Yzla *turning purple with frustration as she throws her hands up* That explains nothing!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Jace: WHY IS THERE A MAGIC PORTAL IN THE TOILET?!

Hadie and Edith: I DIDN’T DO IT!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Red to Danny and Glauco: If we get caught.. You're deaf, he’s blind, and I don’t speak English. Got it?

Danny: Alright. Sounds good to me.

Glauco: How am I supposed to fake being blind?

Red: I don’t know! Do I have to figure everything out myself?

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Hadie: OW! BAD MYSTERY, BAD! MY FINGER IS NOT A CHEW TOY!

Mystery *still biting his finger*

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Hadie, in the underworld with his crush: Would anyone like some refreshments? I have pomegranates!

Danny: Oooo, don’t mind if I do—

Chloe *Quickly smacks Danny’s hand before he can grab one* NO NO NO! NO POMEGRANATES!

Danny: ow! What is up with you?

Chloe *exasperated* Just do not eat anything given to you down here. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.

Hadie *pouts* It wasn’t even grown down here.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Maddox, seeing a banana sitting in a car seat: What the FUCK??!

Maddox, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW!

Edith:

Maddox:

Edith: This is exactly why I have no interest in dating.

Maddox: Do you wanna get an A in Family Studies or not?

Edith: To be perfectly honest, I think this is stupid. How is taking care of a stupid banana with googly eyes glued on supposed to prepare us for parenthood? I don’t even want kids! We’re still kids!

Maddox *gasps dramatically and covers the Banana’s nonexistent ears* Don’t talk about Hattie like that!

Edith: You name—WE ARE NOT NAMING IT THAT!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Deja to Maddox: Why? Why do you do this! *gestures to the stolen antique photos covering Maddox’s side room*

Maddox: Because it’s the one thing you can’t replace.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Lada, playing McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McFuck here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Zuri: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.

Lada: Spear.

Zuri: BLOCKED.

Lada: You can’t block me! We’re in real life!

Zuri *growls* Watch me! *slams door in her face*

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Paro: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.

Panos:

Paro:

Panos: ...Please, go back to bed.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Khalil: Hey, let’s mess with Miriam, guys!

Avalon: Hey,Miriam, your momma so fat-

Miriam: My mom committed multiple war crimes and is now locked in solitary confinement in a Bolivian prison.

Everlee: Well, uh- your dad-

Miriam: My father left when I was two to be captured and consequentially sacrificed by a group of feral ferrets.

Avalon: The fuck-

Lazarus: Well then...

Khalil: Stop, Lazarus!

Lazarus: Your grandparents so-

Miriam: My grandmother floated into the sky like a balloon with too much helium when my grandfather spontaneously combusted.

Miriam: You cannot best me, mortals.

Lazarus: Your brother so—

Everyone else: LAZARUS!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Avalon: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!

Khalil: Please, just say fuck.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Lazarus *out cold on the ground*

Everlee: Oh my god, do you think they’re okay?!

Miriam, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! *dumps all of the water on Lazarus’s face*

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

~~~Bonus: Elle (Jace's civilian partner)~~~

Jace: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Elle: AS ENEMIES?!

Jace:

Jace: No.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵

Jace, sweating: Elle, there’s something I need to ask you-

Elle: Finally! You’re proposing!

Jace: How’d you know?

Elle: Jace, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Elle: I even picked it up once.

15 notes · View notes