#also again. why is the concept of manners so hard

[bioswear]

LOL what if someone comes in and calls me performative for reblogging that last post because it has an image description in it 😂😂😂😂COULD YOU IMAGINE

[darkclouds-rainsounds]

More of this

The first image was moreso supposed to depict a slightly pissed off Volo whose only tell that he's angry is the minute waver of his illusion, hence the ends of his hair being faded and the part that sticks out of his bun is wispy. Alas, I effectively failed in portraying that both in terms of expression and because I have little skill in drawing side-profiles. Also the first image is him topless because I don't really know how to draw clothing on a side profile and have barely enough knowledge of anatomy to go 'fuck it ┐( ˘_˘)┌'.

Second Image I tried to do what I failed in the first and I guess??? it turned out okay??

H.Zoroark!Volo aside, the first image is also just how I headcanon him to look in terms of body type and being more scarred.

[solarmorrigan]

Underrated flavor of queer Steve: Steve who worries that he's faking it

After Robin's confession to him, he starts to view the way he looks at other guys--the way he's always looked at them--in a different light. The way he can see a guy and think 'yeah, he's hot' or even, 'yeah, I wouldn't mind getting with him.' He starts to think maybe that's kinda queer

But then he shakes the thought away, because everyone is able to pick out whether another person is attractive or not. His thoughts aren't different or special. Everyone must think that way, and Steve is only starting to view it as queer because Robin is queer and he wants to have more in common with her

He's always had a habit of doing that: chameleoning himself into a group, adopting enough of their mannerisms or interests to fit in. He'd almost lost himself to in high school, turning into an asshole for the sake of having friends who, in retrospect, hadn't even been very good to him

But now he has Robin - brilliant, funny, awkward, brave Robin, who is good to him and who also happens to be a lesbian, and Steve is doing it again, isn't he? Shifting himself just so he can fit in. Faking it to make it. But he's pretty sure pretending to be queer is kind of offensive, so he sits on the thought for months and months, sometimes pushing it down so hard that he feels sick with it, until it comes bubbling out around the cracks

Steve doesn't even mean to say it; he and Robin are hanging out, Star Wars playing on the TV more as background noise than anything, and Robin sighs over Carrie Fisher, and Steve sighs with her, and then mentions that he'd let Harrison Ford hit it, too, if he had the chance. And then it takes him a minute to understand why Robin is now staring at him, wide-eyed and almost startled

Neither of them really know much about the concept of bisexuality at that point, but they stumble through the conversation anyway, and Robin insists that, no, she's pretty sure not everyone looks at both men and women with equal appreciation and, "I don't think you can fake it, Steve. You can't do being queer wrong."

And for Steve - suddenly it clicks into place. A new piece of himself he'd been struggling to shove away, now acknowledged and welcomed. Something real and true and his, and something he happens to share with his best friend

And it feels good

[yanderambling]

concept: Masochist Puppyboy!Yandere(m) x Bully!Reader(gn)

words: ~1k

CW: 18+, yandere behavior, bullying, physical/verbal abuse, reader smoking

in case this looks familiar: this is my best recreation of a story i posted on my deleted account- i loved it too much to let it die, hopefully you'll like it too!

Adrian tries in vain to still his wagging tail, but it only propels faster as he gets closer to you.

This happens every morning: he passes by your "spot" where you hang out with your delinquent friends before school, and you always make sure to give him trouble- and it never gets easier for him to handle.

Sure, he could take a different route to school. Hell, he could even just cross the street. But then how would you catch his eye as he passes and send his heart racing? How would you snatch his tail between your fingers and give it a harsh tug that has him stumbling to a stop and biting back a moan?

"What's got you so excited this morning, freak?"

Adrian chokes on his words, causing your friends to mutter and laugh amongst themselves. He clears his dry throat before trying again, but it's so hard to focus on words with your fingers gripped in his fur.

"N-nn-Nothing."

You scoff. "That's what you say every morning, though." You gesture at him with his own tail, your voice dripping with bored condescension. "I'm starting to think this thing is broken."

The uncomfortable pressure makes Adrian's stomach flip in the most delicious way. "'m-'m sorry..." He murmurs, his heavy tongue struggling to form the words he wasn’t really sure why he was saying.

Another scoff from you, this one distinctly amused (god you’re beautiful when you laugh, even your mockery is breathtaking). "Yeah, you're sorry alright."

Adrian sees one of your friends start to step forward in his periphery, but you halt them with a simple wave of your hand.

Adrian's heart soars.

That's right! You're the only one that gets to touch him like this! You're the only one that gets to pull his tail and pinch his ears, that gets to yank his shirt and steal the breath from his lungs, that gets to grab his arm so hard he’s left pushing on the bruise for a week. Wow, you don't even want your friends getting close to him- you must really care for him!

"The hell are you smiling for?"

Adrian jumps at your blunt words, blinking at you with wide eyes as he struggles to bite down on his grin. "I- I'm not- sure- I-" He can't just say it, he knows how flustered you get about him around your friends, but he also can't very well ignore you. He gulps. “I'm- I don't- I'm not, um-"

You cut him off with a breathy, sardonic laugh (he can all but hear the angelic choir underscoring it). "Oh, jesus, whatever. Where's my damn lunch?"

Adrian perks up at this, a direction. “Oh!” He quickly turns to retrieve it from his bag, the motion causing your grip to tighten and his tail to be jerked in a downright sinful manner.

“H-hhnn-h-here…” He digs out an expensive-looking bento box, quickly holding it out to you with both hands.

Adrian has been bringing you a homemade lunch every morning for the better part of the school year (made by himself with lots of love and only a little spit, but you seem to like it so much!), content with eating from the convenience store so the butler doesn’t get suspicious about him packing two lunchboxes. He's happy to do it, to know he's serving you every day, that his dedication and affection are regularly being consumed by you- it's an honor that thrills him to no end. (You just think you're taking his lunch, and that his mom is a killer cook.)

You snatch the box from him, giving his tail a final (mouthwatering) tug before you open the container. Adrian subconsciously holds his breath as your mouth curls into a tantalizing smirk.

"Sushi, huh? Trying to get on my good side, mutt?" You flick his ear as you snap the bento closed.

Adrian is surprised his legs haven’t given out. "Y-yea-ea- I- I know it's- your favorite..."

You snort, even managing to make that sound like music to his ears. “Yeah, I'll bet."

You swing your bag around and stuff the lunch away, drawing your hand back with a cigarette and lighter.

Adrian watches in awe as you hold it to your mouth; he’s completely enraptured by the way your sweet lips purse around the filter, the way your fingers flex as they ignite it, the way the flame reflects in your entrancing eyes, the way your cheeks hollow the slightest bit as you puff. He’s practically drooling as he watches the smoke crawl from your parted lips.

"What are you waiting for, a tip? Get lost."

Adrian startles out of his reverie, blinking slowly as he comes back to himself. Oh, right. He's given you what you needed from him, he can leave now.

Damn.

He obediently ducks his head and hurries on his way, only throwing about a dozen or so glances back your way before he rounds a corner.

Leaving you is a physical pain, and it hurts more each time he has to do it. Every step away from you is like a knife to his chest, every inhale of air you haven't breathed is suffocating- but it's a pain he's more than happy to feel. Because to feel the pain of leaving means he got to be around you at all, a sacred privilege he still isn't sure how he earned.

It's not because he's a hybrid, they make up over half the school and you've never payed any of them the same attention- no, you chose him. For one reason or another- love, destiny, (he's an easy target; solitary, never fights back, eager to follow your demands, and he doesn't tell anything to anyone no matter what you do to him. he’s pathetic, really, but a nice little puppy to have around), whatever it may be- you chose him.

And you just keep choosing him.

With this reassurance in mind (and one of his many treasured photo albums of you open on his phone), Adrian continues his trek to school with a skip in his step.

He's already looking forward to watching you eat his lunch from across the cafeteria.

thanks so much for reading! feel free to send a request <3

check my pinned post~

[moonshynecybin]

who do you think would deal better with being isekai'd into omegaverse, marc or vale? alternatively which is more compelling

most beautiful ask. in the world. so funny. ummmm i think. vale is maybe more compelling because his issues with it would be. perhaps unsolvable and endlessly complex. guy who is a lil weird about gender, not terribly into the concept of marriage, and is pretty fundamentally adverse to being. shall we say emotionally legible/vulnerable. exposed. and omegaverse as a genre is all about exposure. its all. giving into the base instincts of your body and those same instincts giving you away to the object of your affections. its going into heat and the person youre in love with is the only one available to help you through it. its scenting someone and that being a crystal ball of their emotions and bodily state ESPECIALLY ie how much they want you specifically. its needing someone so bad you are literally insensate. its getting bonded 5ever and ever irrevocably, OFTEN in the heat of an instinctual moment without the relationship negotiation that happens irl. a genre centered around a betrayal of the body/heart to the mind, in many ways

now imagine you didnt actually grow UP in an omegaverse so you have no toolbox to DEAL with all that. sensory input off the SHITS. and. like suddenly and without WARNING now vale can feel in his CHEST exactly how distressed marc marquez is about every one of their interactions. and how much he wants his ass. like truly every part of his hind brain is like jesus christtttttt i should be inside him right tf now im a terrible alpha. and then the higher part of his brain is like what the fuck. what the fuck. i am not responsible for marc, what the fuck. and oh hey theres a bump on my penis i need to ask people about this right the hell now. thats vale. so i see this as a somewhat fraught comedy of sex errors where his ADHD ass is treading horny water trying to learn alpha manners and also. much more complexly. not fall into all of the traditional alpha expectations/roles. that little trap of gender. because at heart vale is a little trickster who loves to buck expectations!!! and maybe his journey here is realizing that he can just be himself comma sex freak. and that leaning into those "alpha" traits doesnt mean he is conforming lmao he can still have his own unique version of his family. learning the norms of a society and what makes sense to him and what still doesnt. sorting through the weeds of it. and that being vulnerable rules sometimes. and that marc loves him. because that last one is kind of hard to ignore now... again because of that emotional and physical vulnerability that comes with the genre... honestly him knowing all of that about marc without having to actually TALK about it may solve some of their problems tbh. like why work through all that verbally when you can sniff them and then fuck them. kind of the omegaverse fantasy in quite a few ways

marc. jeez louise. i think would HATE it more. at first. control freak 9000. maybe has to miss races for heats. suppressants arent legal. experiencing weird omega sexism if we want to go that route OR. my favorite. has been lying to the press about his status since he presented. tiniest 15 yr old youve ever seen: im an alpha ! :3 uh sure bud. sure. i bet. SO actually maybe he falls into a world where hes just been white-knuckling it for the last billion years during race weekends and most of the paddock kind of KNOW (scent blockers only go so far...) but are lowkey afraid to call him on it dlkjdfljldsfd... similar to vale in this scenario, he sort of has to learn how to omega— and when his heat hits during summer break and his ass start leaking in the middle of the spanish equivalent of walmart, he finds a psycho little ziploc bag of sweaty vale shirts under his bed and he genuinely is like girl what the hellllllllllll.... wiggin out. and his next heat he turns up to race with truly NO practice managing it all, so its way more obvious than normal and the farce is growing thinner and vale literally pulls him aside to be like hey are you GOOD ? but in that valentino not that i care about your ass kind of unspeakably divorced way and marc is like woag. bc a pheromone truck just ran him over. eyes glassy face flushed sweaty as hell mouth a little open.... and he opens his mouth to make an excuse and nothing comes... and then obviously they fuck like its the end of the WORLD

and like i DO think marc pulls out of it more cleanly than vale overall, bc something in HIS lizard brain would be deeply soothed by like. excelling at being an omega. getting an A + in being a bottom. doing that for vale, specifically in the context of pushing his body to the absolute LIMIT to do it.... hes locked in. its go time. and then theres the insane possibility of vale putting his mouth on his neck and them getting basically soulbonded forever where they have to have crazy sex every few months ? hes like ummmm okay. i could get used to this for a while lmao

[zero-ek]

As soon as Yuu was released the first thing i did was to listen to her voice lines, not only because of who is voicing her (the Sailor Moon!!) but because i was very curious as to what sort of dimension her voice would add to her character.

And it's particularly interesting the way that her voice sells how... empty she is, like not only in that losing her memories destroyed her sense of self and her morality (like i had initially expected), but in that she doesn't seem to have a firm grasp of anything beyond the ideas of "Yuu", Shii, the list, Magical Girls and Witches. Like, it's like she doesn't even know what being a human even is.

That much is obvious just in the way she speaks, like she keeps switching back and forth between multiple voices and running over her own words, like she speaks out of muscle memory and can't control the sounds that her mouth makes. But also, some of the stuff she says is... concerning, here's a few lines:

(I got these from her F*ndom quotes page i didn't know where else to find them)

"We're together today too... is that the same as yesterday? Does that mean tomorrow's gonna be the same!? And two days ago too? I guess after tomorrow too... wait so even today too!?"

From her first login, notice how by the end of the sentence she forgot about whay she said at the start completely. Also it's hard to convey through written text but, not only her sense of object and spacial permanence is nonexistent, she seems to genuinely have a hard time undertanding the concept of time:

"Did you just say good morning? Oh that must mean it's morning nowiseewaitdid i... did i sleep? I'm bummed... no i'm not, aha! Morning!"

Her morning login.

"Did you just tell me good night...? 'Good night' is what you say when you're done for the day!? So if we keep repeating 'good night' forever, can we stop tomorrow from coming...?"

Her night login

A couple of her lines showing her extremely short memory, and how it affects her fundamental understanding of things:

"Man, i'm so hungry... WAIT! I think i was just full...! Which was it! Doesn't it really suck how you can never tell what's inside of your tummy?"

Noon login.

"Sorry! I...! What was i thinking about? Do you know? Can you tell me? What a bummer, what a bummer... Wait, what was i bummed about?"

Her standard login (honestly same).

"I gotta get goinghmm...? Where was i going again?"

Story end 3

"If your arms or your legs get really old, then why not just rip 'em off? It's gonna grow new ones so it's okay, here, lemme help you!"

Tap 4.

"Nagisa-chan loves cheese, meanwhile i have 'someone'... 'someone' is me! So don't forget about cheese and 'someone' even when tomorrow comes, alright?"

Magical release 1

"Y'see, ghosts only come from the past, they don't be coming from the future! So why... can i only go to tomorrow?"

Magical release 2

Also this one is just, man...

"No matter how many times time turns back, i'll keep doing the same thing! 'Cause i don't wanna pretend that all the times i messed up and all the times i was sad weren't real!"

Tap 8

It's also extremely unnerving how genuinely childlike and innocent her "main", higher pitched voice is, like i can't explain why but it really sells that she does what she does all because she genuinely doesn't know any other way to live, not least because it seems she wholeheartedly doesn't seem to be able to think beyond the current moment, like she just goes with the flow of time without having anything to ground herself on.

I think that, while having a fully fledged design added to her "inhuman" factor in a creepy manner, like, compounding to the idea of this beastly Magical Girl that rips people's organs off, her voice made her "inhuman" in a much crueler and sad way, in that it served to illustrate that she is the way she is because it's quite literally the only way of living that she knows.

[strong-with-the-sarcasm]

Spillways of your soul

[Revenant!Jazz content to celebrate 300 followers!]

protect. danny. protect. danny.

around and around the same words spun in the cesspool of their brain, rotted, decayed as it was- they weren't alive-alive...not the same as the humans that they avoided, a itch at their skull- grey matter. (scratch scratch scratch) (too much and they'll lose their skull!) (who was they?) (words were hard.) bone teeth, sharp (bite and tear flesh) fangs, eye sockets brusied (should be empty) where human had hit. too slow to move. maybe had not enough to care. They did not care.

(who was they?) They were of former human skin and bone- ash and fire and green the colors left in death and shambles of corpse-hood. too many words in throat, pain in chest when speak. try not to with leftover language in grey matter.

They shambled along street after street, sun high and sun low- sun gone too. Moon was picky about light shed, but they could see well in shadow and murky ick. Got-ham, pricky, icky on their tongue, parted its shadows for them. Like friend.

(friend.) (they knew that word) (but that word hurt)

protect danny. danny was...danny? They had no other words for DANNY. no words they would use- not the ones they used the most.

(kill. dodge. aim. fire.) (BAT. hood. bird.) (threat. not-threat.) (dead. alive.)

shamble-shamble was what they did, fire metal into skin of threats to DaNNy, again. again kill threats as DANny human-shambled in a not-human skin.

(danny was dead. not-dead?) (scratch scratch scratch) dANny never human-shambled too close to them. they kept away. humans kept away from DANNY right?

they were not human-human though. only human shaped. did it count?

(scratch)

humans called them KILLER-MURDERER-hero. they could hear the words but did not understand- they were to protect DANNY.

KILLER-MURDERER stayed but they did notice the hero word fade away. they did not focus on it too much.

KIlleR-mUrDErER became ROGUE-VILLIAN-reaper.

loud, loud the words were- not too loud the firing metal did not drown them out. BAT called them reaper, no REAPER with anger and- they did not understand.

(not their name) (who were they to have a name?) (scratch scratch) decayed cesspool of a brain- REAPER was a word they did not understand but would answer to regardless. it was something that was theirs that was ALIVE and not rotten. or half-dead.

(scratch scratch scratch)

BAT was too shadow, too murk, too Got-ham for they to understand either. did that make them same? no. BAT was human-human. not just human-shaped. protect. danny. (scratch scratch goes the grey matter.)

====================

A/N: This is very much a drabble. A practice concept for a character with limited mental capacity in a paranormal setting with no way of defining themselves in a clear or concise manner. This is Jazz post-reanimation and pre-rogue massacre. She's just begun to place emphasis on certain "words" (people, places, things) and that's what I want to reflect in The Revenant AU. All capitalized words like "BAT" are meant to be Jazz placing emphasis on the word as important, but she doesn't know/understand why its important.

Danny's name being mixed up is also supposed to be important too. Jazz doesn't understand why danny is important, but down in her bones she knows, so her brain keeps trying to put importance on his name. Yes, this is full of mistakes for REASONS. (And also, its a drabble, not a full-fledged fic. I can cringe about it later, as in after its been read later.)

Thanks for reading!

[streets-in-paradise]

Secret Presents

Relationships: (platonic) Faramir x Sister!Reader, (platonic) Boromir x Sister!Reader.

Genre: family fic, sibling bonds, fluff, birthday fic.

Warnings: Denthor's terrible parenting, use of she/her pronoums. I am not sure if birthdays are culturally accurate for gondorians, but since in lotr we saw at least one hobbit birthday let's pretend they also could have birthday customs for the sake of this.

Summary: Boromir and Faramir surprise their sister on the morning of her birthday filling her with affection while furtively bringing her different sorts of gifts their father wouldn't approve.

Note: (Late) birthday gift for my bestie @beautifultypewriter, also inspired in her gondor girl concept. I hope the fluff will be good enough to compensate the delay <3

She didn't expected anyone to remember, there were allways more important things going on in such convoluted times.

Completely absent from her father's thoughts, only her brothers could possibly think about it. During the occassions in which Denethor do cared to celebrate her, he was always actually celebrating himself. Birthday parties that were generic social events for the nobiity, occassions for him to show off his might in decline and pretend for the public that he could resemble a father.

If he could possibly be thinking on doing something, she would rather hide far away from it for as long as possible. The only good reason the Steward of Gondor could have to remember that he had a daughter were the men arround him making the recall. He would only use it as an excuse to push yet even more insufferable nobles in her direction.

Feeling the call of the servant announcing her waking time that morning made her groan of frustration, wanting it to be over before it ever began. She emerged from the covers only caring to make sure to be in a visible state before opening the door, trying hard to remember not to share her mood with the servantfolk through terrible manners.

What she found instead were her two brothers hidding their presence on the usual call, ready to join forces as soon as they will find her. Their happy faces said it all, and she almost regretted her grumpyness.

" What are you doing here? "

To a gestural sign of Faramir, Boromir went ahead to lift her up from the ground. Almost like a father would do for his child, only with tons of chuckling in between.

" HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR SISTER!!"

In a matter of instants she was smiling again while being carried back inside her bedroom.

" Are you insane? What is this? "

Faramir calmed his own laughter to explain.

" Your birthday surprise! I bet you thought we would forget. "

She was perfectly aware of how strongly they loved her, but war kept them always bussy and she was perfectly ready to forgive them if that was the case.

" Orcs are constantly pushing the limits of our borders, of course you could forget! "

" But we would never. " Boromir cheerfully insisted, releasing her on her bed. " Have we ever failed you? "

She giggled and nodded negatively.

" ... Then why did you seem so upset looking at us from you doorframe ? " Faramir inquired. " It think somone really needs to get their spirits lifted. "

With a mischievous look he approached for a strong hug ending only when he sneaked one hand to her already known ticklish point. Her loud laughing comforted them all, so Boromir encouraged Faramir to keep going untill she started fighting back and the situation could escalate into an actual tickle fight unleashed right in front of the servants.

She was red from laughing and playfully smacked them in return, when her eldest brother gave premission for the maidservant to enter. She was carrying a curiously long chest with the help of one lad and presented it to the lady by command before retiring.

" See, if we would have waited untill you would come down for breakfast, we wouldn't be able to bring your presents. " Faramir continued. " These are of the kind our father will not wish to see. "

A sparkle of excitement lighted her eyes.

" Certainly not fitting for a lady, by his expressed opinion. " Boromir added. " He would be very dissapointed of me if he would find out I'm letting Faramir present you with this."

" Not as much as when he will see what you got her. " He commented in response. " ... And yours can't be hidden easily, as one can do with mine. "

Curiosity was growing with each of their teasing recalls and she rushed to open the mysterious casket used to hide such secret present from the world untill reaching her.

It revealed a bow, perfectly new and with its matching quiver following the style of the one that was her brother's favorite.

" Nurturing your passions is important to me, and being honest i'm slightly jealous you have gained more practice with Boromir's weapon of choice. "

He was joking and she could perfectly tell. Her brothers never had to compete for her love the way their father intended them to.

Here eyes were roaming the weapon with increasing surprise, then inmediately directed to look at her brother with the happiest adoration.

" It's perfect!! Just, ... perfect!! Beloved brother, I would love to practice with you. " She thanked, hugging him from up front and practically jumping from the joy. " I can't wait to try it!! "

" We will tell father is an harp." Faramir joked, sharing her excitement. " I doubt he would ever ask you to play music for him, so he will never discover it."

You chuckled together seeing that Boromir was allowing you the mean spirited commentary.

" My gift will also work as a distractive strategy: he will never get a moment to wonder about anything else. "

She questioned Faramir with her glance, but he provided no clues.

" Boromir ... what have you exactly done?? "

Their eldest brother began to chuckle, assuming the mysterious guilt for some possibly memorable mischief.

" Come down with us and you will find out. "

She smiled and quickly followed the instruction, begging them to leave her proper space to at least dress decently before being publicly perceived for the first time in the day. Neither of her brothers wanted to miss what was about to come, so they awaited outside only to find themselves going after her later because excitement made her run her way down.

Hardly catching his breath, Boromir indicated her to go outside. Her cluelessness made her even more desperate for finding the surprise, but she inmediately stumbled with it once the final instruction was correctly followed.

A magnificent horse, one that she never recalled to have seen before.

" It was almost impossible to import, but your dear brother planned things with time and sent clever merchants on the quest for it. " Boromir recalled, pridefully. " They wouldn't have sold this easily for a mighty lord of the city, but couldn't refuse when told it would dissapoint a young lady. "

She looked at him in disbelief, unsure of the guess she was about to make.

" No,no, no ... There is no way. You couldn't ... "

" Send men to Rohan despite the uncertain danger it implies just to get you a horse? " Faramir followed, finishing her sentence in a wondering tone. " Don't worry, your present also worked as harmless excuse to obtain trustable testimonies about the state of our old allies. Something we have been wanting to find out for a long time, but father kept refusing to investigate. "

The clarification amused her more than the explanation itself.

" You are unbelievable!! How are we going to hide this? "

Boromir wasn't troubled by her very logical reasoning.

" We won't, and I will assume all guilt. Wait to see how fast he will find a reason to excuse me. "

He made her laugh through that lighthearted mock of his unwanted privilege, aspect he manipulated in contructive ways when it could bring a side benefict to his siblings.

Looking at her smiling brothers awaiting her final verdict made her feel the luckiest girl in Middle Earth.

" I have the best brothers in the world. "

[system-of-a-feather]

Literature Reading and Discussion

(These are informal readings, take aways and just thoughts I have on interesting articles that I think were worth sharing. My comments are developed AS I read them, cause I always talk to myself and the article while I read them. This is just literally how I annotate literature papers, so read it like a live blog of sorts; people are welcome to read and discuss and comment)

Article: Dissociative identity disorder as a wide range of defense mechanisms in children with a history of early childhood trauma

First things first, I'm actually surprised on how antiquated the description of DID's "general characteristics" is in this article even if it is from 2019. The sources that the section connects to is, however, another Polish article and the opening states that DID is not really talked about, diagnosed, or researched much in Poland so I think the antiquated information might be reflective of that and the locality.

"A case of a patient has been reported, who menstruated for the whole month because her alters had different period dates"

Call me a skeptic, but while I do believe that the patient genuinely believes that, I almost feel more like that's a menstrual issue unrelated to DID but is being attributed to DID.

"Another example is the movie The Three Faces of Eve based on a real story of a woman switching between three different personalities"

I could have sworn that it was found that it was not a real story. I'm starting to side eye the general nature of this article (which the class I was taking did NOT talk explicitly on DID here) but I am interested in the talk on etiology so I'm sticking through.

Petty thing, I dislike how much DID is called a "disease". Again this is originally a Polish literature review and thus translated so maybe its that, its not explicitly BAD per se but I dislike it.

The Psycho-analytic Model

"[..] This theory assumes that alters develop not as a result of a traumatic event as such, but due to defense mechanisms that are designed to protect the individual from dangerous content[1]. This model refers to Freud's views presented in his Studies on Hysteria[10]. [..]"

I'm sorry its hard for me to take this model suggestion seriously when its based on / refers to Freud's weirdness and "Hysteria".

"Splitting is a natural psychological process, occurring mainly in infants, which allows them to separate good from evil."

God, I'm barfing in white western dualism.

"When a child is constantly subjected to traumatic experiences, they begin to overuse this mechanism even in non-threatening situations, which allows them to create two disparate worlds. This leads to the formation of new alter personalities which protect the child against the trauma[1,9]."

See, now that I can get behind. I don't like the "good vs evil" and how that inherently relates to shit (probably a translation issue or more likely Freud being weird and white) but this checks out.

"According to Freud, the primary process, unlike the secondary process, has no cause-and-effect relations, opposites, and time, and is characterized by coexisting contradictions. Its task is to relieve the tension as quickly as possible by creating images of an object that satisfies the need. There is also no distinction between fantasy and reality, which seems to explain why alters do not find it contradictory to have a different sex, race or age than the original personality"

Okay so I think Freud lost me because I don't understand the mechanism outside of a symbolic manner and I might be trying to find more of an understanding of the "process" in terms of an actual neurobiological framework than a philosophical / hypothetical / symbolic framework when it doesn't exist. If someone thinks they get the proposed concept, feel free to inform me cause this part lost me.

However I do find the proposition that "no distinction between fantasy and reality" is kind of an interesting point to think about. I've heard some stuff about a relationship between dissociation and psychosis so, kind of interesting.

"The psychoanalytical model, therefore, suggests that the development of DID requires two components: trauma and fantasy. This theory, however, is not perfect, because it does not explain all clinical symptoms"

Ah the brother to "fantasy prone" debate. I honestly need to go over the article at some point that debunks fantasy proneness in people with DID cause while I don't believe in the iatrogenic model (or at least that it is the cause of MOST cases; I can see it being the cause of SOME cases) I do know a lot of people with DID who are REALLY fantasy prone; obviously thats my peer / personal experience and I have a biased sample size so it could just be me, but its something I've always been meaning to go over and look back on.

The Auto-Hypnotic Model

"Bliss even goes as far as to say that multiple personality is a form of autohypnosis and that other symptoms of the disease, such as changes in breathing rate, irregular menstruation, and palpitations are manifestations of anxiety"

Ehhh first things first, STILL doubting the "irregular menstruation" as a relevant or related symptom to DID. Beyond that, I feel like the differences and changes between alters is WAY too much to just account for it as "manifestations of anxiety".

"Overused, it interferes more and more with the individual's memory, sense of the Self, and normal ability to cope in the real world. The changes can range from short episodes of amnesia to the emergence of alter personalities which can take control of the patient's body."

Honestly I don't know enough about the neurobiology / neuropsychology of actual hypnosis and how to sparse it from the sensationalized understanding of hypnosis to actually have any real comment on it. I feel a bit skeptical, but I also do think there is some value in it? Skeptical none the less though.

"Criticism of this theory rests in the fact that it equates hypnotizability with susceptibility to dissociation. Some studies indicate that these processes are not synonymous, because although some people who are highly susceptible to dissociation are also susceptible to hypnosis, not all hypnotizable persons are able to dissociate"

Yeah that was going to be my critique thanks article for putting words to my ambiguous sense of "ehh somethings off".

The Developmental Model

"Research shows that people with DID have a period of special sensitivity during which traumatic events can lead to the formation of a multiple personality. This period falls between the ages of a few months to 9/10 years. Processes that occur in normally developing children, which, when disrupted, may lead to the formation of alter personalities"

I do like the sound of this thus far. I'm pretty sure this was a foundational perspective in the ToSD

"Imagination and fantasy allow children to project their own personality onto objects and situations[1]. It has been suggested that this may contribute to the blurring of the boundaries between reality and fantasy and the emergence of alter personalities in DID[1,7,10]."

"Yeah of the three so far this is my favorite" I say as the person deeply interested in developmental psychopathology and the general idea that everything goes back to childhood and critical periods /hj

"Another factor promoting the formation of alters may be the fact that children endow their plush toys or dolls with life and personality traits."

Hahaha me fr fr.

"Many adult patients claim that imaginary companions were models for their alter personalities. What is more, alters themselves often admit that they had been created as imaginary friends and later acquired their own lives as a result of trauma[1]."

COUGHS LOUDLY AT CREATED ALTERS / HEADMATES / PARTS COUGH COUGHS LOUDLY

"The construct of behavioral states of consciousness assumes that people are born as potential multiple personalities, and it is only in the course of normal development that these personalities consolidate and integrate into a single Self. Research shows that the behavior of newborns is composed of separate behavioral states, manifesting themselves, among others, through different motor activities, eye movements, facial expressions or skin color. This assumption shows that some of children's most important developmental tasks are to consolidate the Self, work out a sense of one's identity, and learn to smoothly transition from one behavioral state to the next."

OK this section I really do like and have thoughts on. FIRSTLY the word "assumes" is just what I mean with the fact that "everyone fuses into one" is an ASSUMPTION not a fact and even in that assumption, that the task is consolidation of Self. I DO agree with that, however the last sentence of this section I feel best leaves space for the fact that the consolidation of Self doesn't necessarily mean to a single version of Self. If the purpose of the consolidation of Self is to 1) work out ones identity and 2) smoothly transition from one behavioral state to the next; assuming both are met in healthy ways without full integration / consolidation (as is promoted and supported by cultural and social systems in non white non western cultures), there is no reason to assume that an individual would HAVE to fuse into one to meet the important developmental milestones.

Honestly I'd highlight and copy most of this model's discussion down because I just simply like it. I'm NOT gonna do it cause thats too much work and the link is accessible to everyone.

The Attachment Model

I'm not copying all this down unless something particularly stands out. I'm super biased in terms of Bowlby's attachment theory cause I just really *like it*. So just like, use your imagination to see me probably overlooking critiques and holding up a sign in a stadium like a super fan of "I LOVE U BOWLBYS ATTACHMENT THEORY" or something like that ok? /lh /j

Results and Discussion

There is a really neat diagram in the article about factors and combining the models to understand a lot of things about DID that I like. I don't want to deal with screenshotting it and crediting it properly so just go check it out.

"Formerly, it was believed that DID affected only adults; now, it is claimed that the disorder can be diagnosed in children as young as three or four years old. Most commonly, however, the diagnosis is made between the ages of 25 and 35, although the first symptoms probably appear five to ten years before the disease is recognized[1]."

Side eyeing people who say DID doesn't occur in children.

My Thoughts

Interesting read overall. I think the introduction section was really sketchy, but I think it did a nice job going over and integrating a lot of the other models and hypothesises on DID in a way other than the ToSD. I was kind of hoping for something *more* cause most of that I've heard of already, but it was a fun read overall.

I feel someone asked me recently about alternative models to the ToSD but I can't recall who so I hope they see this

[cali]

HOW do you have the patience to make these details... how do you decide where each line goes when there are so many? Is it channeling something? Or do you have to think and reason, okay, this line goes here, and then the next line goes here...

when i was younger i used to think spending more time on art made it better and i would kind of try to prove my mettle in art by use of heavy detailing instead of via technical skill. also i generally care moreso about the details in things rather than bigger picture so im more inclined to have my drawings reflect that... now i dont think that time makes it better anymore but thru years of working like this ive just developed a general affinity for extensive detail. i am trying to be more content with making simpler stuff too but i have to consciously learn that though, keeping it simple and staying confident about it.

do i channel something:

mmmm...maybe? sometimes a picture makes me a little crazy and i feel like i have to represent some type of perfect divinity in a "correct" manner.

heres 3 pics where that happened. the first two are trying to be more representational of concepts whereas the latter is more general level ornamental. like how a church would be decorated.

im a little more lax now on dedicating pictures to spirituality, but a lot of my pictures still have some type of divinity meets earth topic and in those i always think of the divine as something that in its truest form couldnt be understood but because the creature has divine power it can present itself or modify the world in any way it wanted to. and so it would choose ways that are easily understood as beautiful and good. why angels are pretty...

thats whats happening in these. the comet makes its body be beautiful while the seal eel serpent is showing its power thru perfect control of the water and making a really pretty splash

to ur question of how i decide on each line: its a mix between keeping every line imbued with intent but also not concentrating on the picture so hard that i have to enact force on it. i still redo most of my lines multiple times but i also dont feel fully conscious for the detail part of these bigger pictures. i have to be in a good mental state and those happen rarely. my workflow isnt ideal. a lot of days i do nothing and then on one day of the week i dont do anything but draw on one picture for 14+ hrs. i did that a couple days ago again and its euphoric in the moment, but the day after i feel drained dry as fuck. theres also an aspect to it where i draw virtue from patience and dedication to a task. i try to steel my patience a lot and drawing like this is part of that. i look up to nuns and eunuchs or that spaniard who built a church solo. id like to have that type of mindset with a Will that strong. but i dont want to do it via god based faith but instead my own thing. sorry for babble- thank you for the ask.

[hoshinoyozora]

The Immortal’s Feelings

🖤 Pairing: Yandere! Malleus Draconia x Female! Reader feat. Silver

💛 Word Count: 0,7k+

❤ Warnings: -

[Edited]

Do not re-upload my writing to another website or use it without my permission. Also, don’t ask for a sequel unless I like the story enough to write one. Please reblog so other people can see my stories!***

I’m not a psychology student, but I think it’s interesting how (forced) transformation can affect human psyche. Then again, my depiction won’t be perfect considering I’m someone with neutral feelings nearly all the time (at least enough until some people close to me call me emotionless lmao).

“Why did you become a knight, Silver?”

You sipped the tea calmly and gracefully; an act that was enough to make the majority of people here acknowledged you as their queen, but never enough to make them accept you. At least, all those tedious lessons about table manners paid off somewhat.

“Because I want to repay my father and His Majesty’s kindness.”

“I see.” you mused, putting down the cup on the saucer with a soft clink. “So, I guess no matter what I do, you’ll always be loyal to him, huh…”

Silver gripped his knees.

“You are the queen, so I’ll still obey your orders.”

“Anyone can obey me, but not everyone can be loyal to me. That’s probably the first thing I’ve learned since my… coronation.”

You hated that word. It sounded too noble, too posh, too heavy. As if it was something you should be honored with, rejoiced over. It might be better to rule over the people who hated you rather than live among them, but it didn’t make the experience any less unpleasant.

“I won’t lie and say that what he did was right, but fairies tend to love intensely.”

“And humans love freedom. They need it, even. But, at the end of the day, I’m just an artificial fae, aren’t I?” you sneered. “Even humanity feels alien to me now, like a concept too abstract for me to understand.”

The last part came out more as a heartfelt confession than a bitter remark. Sometimes you woke up and felt a deep hollowness inside your chest, as if someone had ripped your heart out and left you as a husk. Or a robot, because you were still functional. Yes, you did your duty as a queen and a wife; a routine that was as normal as sleeping and eating now. There were times when you experienced any kind of emotion too, and you quickly forgot the reason behind it. Why were you happy? Why were you sad? It didn’t make any sense. Your brain had overpowered your body at this point, and what was left of your heart was used to accommodate the petty offense over an insult, perceived or not.

Back then, you would’ve called it embarrassing. Nobody should be sensitive enough to attack someone just because they forgot to greet you. But now, you’d made great use of Malleus by ordering him to publicly humiliate the offender. Something still caught you from committing a worst act, though, and you weren’t sure whether you should be relieved or not. Whether it was your lingering humanity or the warnings you’d gotten from people who deemed themselves important enough to not embarrass yourself.

And yet, Malleus was happy. Proud, even. Although you’d learned it was much better to use him than defy him, anger would resurface and remind you that asking for his help was similar to needing him. Then, memories of him forcing you to marry him and transforming you into a pathetic, subpar version of himself would spark all the forgotten feelings, only for them to disappear when you tried so hard to remember why you hated Malleus in the first place.

It was a confusing event all around, and your husband, with his limited knowledge of human psyche and the effect of your transformation, chalked it up to ‘mood swing’. Still, it did change your attitude to everyone else and led them to look at you the same way they looked at Malleus; with fear, and probably less respect.

After all, you were nothing without him.

But then, you spotted Silver helping his sparring partner from the ground and remembered that humanity was about helping each other. At least, that was what you thought, until you heard his explanation.

“… I have nothing to say, Your Majesty.” Silver admitted shamefully.

You closed your eyes and sighed.

“Of course, you don’t. You’re just a human raised by faes. You know about humanity as much as I do.” You waved your hand dismissively. “Now, leave. I want to be alone right now.”

You heard the chair scrape against the stone masonry, but you didn’t bother to acknowledge his respectful bow. It was only after he went inside the castle, did you open your eyes and peer down through the balcony.

A few mortal servants and knights scattered here and there, and you wondered whether you could sway this minority group to join your side with your experiences as a former human.

[blogfullofemos]

Nasallang? Like a Nordic Metal Band?

Hiya guys, did you miss me? I figure to thank you guys every time I post another fic. I truly appreciate the support, commentary, and reblogs every damn time. Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️. You guys can send me asks as well, if you feel like I can bring a concept of yours to life. Enjoy and continue to let me know how you feel 😊. This has also been proofread.

E FOR EVERYONE

Synopsis: Eddie Munson is taking matters into his own hands... Well. Into your hands, but nobody is there to see it. (This is a favorite I've written so far. This idea is so cute to me ☺️)

Word Count: 995

Warning: Amateur piercing session (PLEASE DO NOT DO WITHOUT THOROUGH RESEARCH OR PROFESSIONAL SUPERVISION), and please don't hide things like these from your parents unless you know you can handle the repercussions. Mentions of drugs.

Pairing: Bestie! Eddie Munson + bestie! reader

    “Okay.” you sigh, assessing the makeshift tools before you. A box full of alcohol pads, a few pin needles, and opened cases of piercings awaiting your procedure. Eddie smiles crookedly, biting the side of his bottom lip, elated for his new statement pieces to proclaim him. Well, more like an obtuse declaration. With an apprehensive side eye, you couldn’t help but smirk at Eddie’s overt excitement. His skinny jeaned legs bouncing rapidly as he consistently rubbed his hands on his knees, were they sweaty? Yeah he’s smiling, but his dimples are barely indenting. And he keeps biting his lip. Maybe it’s the hard plastic toilet seat lid he’s sitting on, it just made you uncomfortable watching him sit on the unforgiving cover. Picking up a pin needle, you twist the thin metal between your index finger and thumb. Your nerves prickling the ends of those fingers while you gauge the depths of its puncture. “Okay but like…” you give another apprehensive side eye “Why feed into it?” you finally ask. Even as Eddie given you a soliloquy for his urgency on the matter a few nights ago. 

“I play DND, electric guitar, smoke weed and maybe… Just maybe dabbled with other hallucinogenic substances… But TOWN FREAK!! Cuz’ MUMMY DEARESTS can’t bear their children poking at a little bit of Hellfire!! WELL LETS GIVE’M MORE.!!”

     God you just thought it was another intrusive rant that tend to be filled with false promises. But here you were with impending nasallang and snake bites. “Because why not?” Eddie retorts, pinching your arm. He giggles as you quickly drop the needle to swat his hand off, followed with a quiet but dramatic “Ouch!!” Not wanting to disturb Uncle Wayne’s quiet beer reading session at the small living room, or rather pique his curiosity. “What about Uncle Wayne?” you wince, rubbing away the lingering pain. Eddie rolls his eyes, diverting his attention from you, he turns his body towards the tools. Taking an alcohol pad out of the box and ripping its wrapping open with his teeth. He makes a disgusted face as he spits the ripped seal out of his mouth, pulling the wipe out. “This would be his final straw. He’ll definitely think you’ve lost it.” you say, crossing your arms.

“I’m 19 going on 20; and to ease your worried little head while also reminding you. I’ve gotten my first tattoo at 15 and all Uncle Waynee did was burp and pat my shoulder.” Eddie answers your incessant doubts, wiping the alcohol wipe under his bottom lip. He theatrically points at you and winces his eyes, burping on que “That’s a reaaally cooool tattoo Eddie… Who did it?” he acts out his Uncle’s drunken mannerisms. You smack your hand on your head as Eddie burps again, smacking his lips and daintily tossing the wipe into the basin. You slide your hand down to your mouth, hiding your smile while trying your best to give Eddie a disapproving gaze. Failing to dissuade his stubbornness, you sigh out as you rip open an alcohol pad. Sterilizing a pin needle, you try your best to recall every word Eddie read to you from an amateur self-piercing guide. Beautifully written by a goth chick Eddie ‘talked to’ ages ago. 

     “But why me?” you pout, nervously getting yourself into place. Eddie helps you by widening his legs, letting you get close to his sat frame. Breathing out, he shakes his head back, the movement helping his hair naturally slip away from his face without his hands. His brown eyes connecting with yours, his crinkles forming with his reassuring smile. You give a smile back, taking a gentle hold of his chin and guiding his head to move about. Aesthetically measuring the placements with whatever experience you can tie this to. “Why me Munson?” you repeat, needing him to say anything to distract you from ending this before even beginning. Eddie knees hug onto your thighs as his anticipation locks you in, licking his lips “Robin is squeamish as we all know. Steve has better things to do, and well…” Eddie drifts off but stops as his breath hitches. His eyes widen as he feels the slight poke of the needle at the bottom of his lip; his hands naturally grabbing onto your hips.

You freeze as your muscles lock from the unsuspected action, your eyes widening as you snap your hands away from him. “Shit sorry.” he quickly says, dropping his head to shake his hair out with his hands. Your cheeks searing with unabashed disclosure, be it the first time he’s ever touched you there. Be it the first-time you guys gotten this close in an…. Intimate position. But this is what comes with the territory of a growing friendship, and not wanting to make it any more than what it is. You quickly recollect yourself as you take hold of Eddie’s chin once more, guiding him to look up at you again. “S’okay.” you reassure dryly, clearing your throat you continue “But I’m pretty sure with enough bartering Erica would gladly do this for you.”

“Yeah but she’s like 15, I don’t trust her with sharp objects around anybody, especially around me… And you’re the only one I can depend on, being best friends and all.” he says, finally giving you his award-winning dimpled smile. 

       “Okay. Okay. Take a deep breath for me and whatever you do. Keep. Your. Mouth. Open.” you take hold of his bottom lip with your index and thumb, pulling it out as much as you could “And try your best to stay quiet.” you add. Eddie nods slightly while incoherently accepting your requests.

“In 3… 2…… 1. Breathe in.” 

Eddie grunts LOUDLY as you pierce through his lip; iron gripping your hips like a baby latching on to its first sweet. Yeah, you had your hands full with this one. But it’s going to make for a great story time throughout the many years to come.

[loversj0y]

hey its me glonk

so

talking about siren/clinic!wilbur.

Imagine Sire having a love/hate relationship with a low-ranking hero.

(Now I say "low-ranking", but it doesn't mean they're weak. They're just... really bad at their job. They can fight, but they're a little too brutal for the public eye. Breaking bones, etc..

So the hero committee says they are too violent to move up the ranks. Ironic, considering that they are the only hero that doesn't kill villains. The other heroes do much worse all the time-- they just keep it under wraps.)

Anyway, maybe the hero has some nullification power. Siren's voice doesn't work on them, so they end up duking it out in a good old fashioned fistfight.

Unless its the hero's lunch break. they only work when they have to.

eventually, when one gets a call about the other and an order to go deal with them, neither knows whether its going to be a snog-in-the-alleyway kind of day or a beat-each-other-to-a-pulp kind of day until they lock eyes.

fuck Enemies to lovers, this is enemies AND lovers.

lonemies. lovemies. enevers. Enemivers? Who knows.

(also. imagine the hero getting fired one day because they incapacitated someone in a rather brutal manner-- on live television. Does the Hero Committee care that it allows its other heroes to do far worse, just out of the public eye? No! Boom, they are fired)

you bet that siren goes asking them ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶p̶h̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶n̶u̶m̶b̶e̶r̶ to join the syndicate.

glonk. you get me. oh my god.

okay i kind of went crazy down below but i love this concept SO much

enemies AND lovers is SOOO powerful. i feel like siren would have a complex about anyone who cant be affected by his power naturally bc on one hand, it pisses him off, but on the other hand, he LOVES it because it allows him to feel secure in knowing they will never think he’s manipulated them and he’ll never have the option to (id imagine growing up, he found it hard to make connections because people who knew his power and didn’t understand it would find it hard to trust him)

i love the idea too of their very first meeting. hero reader is brand new, spiffy, ready to tackle any challenges! and who do they get? literally one of the three top ranking heros. and yeah they’re terrified but they agreed to this so they get ready to fight and siren just is not having it and simply tries to command them and reader is like *oh fuck…wait.* and they both have this mutual realization that he cant use his power and immediately in siren’s eyes. they are rivals. siren manages to get away without any fight due to the shock and processing they both have, but the hero committee quickly hears about it and is PISSED because, from the media’s view, hero reader didnt even try. which is why next time the hero just gets aggressive and physical and the hero committee ALSO gets pissed again and reader is just like ????? already so done with this shit but they’re on a contract fuck.

but oh thats when siren catches them. they’re not really paying attention to patrolling, still pissed off and reeling from the meeting with the hero committee, so it isnt hard for siren to come up behind them and get them pinned down. and he’s all cocky and talking shit, and reader is too tired to actually fight him or be angry, so siren is like. something is wrong here, i want a reaction. so he switches to flirting. and oh boy does that do the trick. and reader is so tired theyre just like. fuck the hero committee. fuck everything. im going to have fun. and they end up making out in the dark alleyway until siren gets called away by the syndicate.

and the song and dance continues, either fighting or making out (though siren does note that the fighting tends to happen more when the media is involved) hero learns more abt the syndicate and is like honestly i cant even hate them bc the hero committee IS bullshit and the committee is up their ass about needing to be better, constantly needing to be better and fight more and help more people, and they let out some stress with thanatos, but it’s more of a “beat each other up until we’re exhausted and can relax” type of fight until hero accidentally knocks him completely cold because his head hit a brick wall. and they look up and the camera definitely caught that. a text about being fired comes quickly, but honestly they dont even care, they’re more just worried that this person is okay, and so they grab his ear piece and tell nemesis what happened and nemesis is like “okay, im going to trust you only because you just got fired. here’s the cafe’s address, ill tell our healer and have someone meet you there” and so hero brings him to the cafe for tommy to heal, and siren is there because of course he’d be there, but it’s for two main reasons: making sure the hero keeps this place a secret, and extending the offer to potentially become a villain (which he notes that they’d need to have a chat about it over dinner specifically, and it definitely is not an excuse to go on a date)

[master-sass-blast]

Ppsssppsss...

Hey!

...

Grayson's morning voice

...

AT LAST!!! I HAVE THE SPOONS TO ANSWER THIS ASK!!! (also ty honey for sending it my way so i wouldn't forget about the concept ily)

Look, we ALL know it. Shohreh Aghdashloo has the voice of a goddess, and ergo Grayson does too. I hope whoever cast Shohreh in the role of Grayson only has the finest of orgasms for the rest of their life.

Grayson's voice is already perfect. Just like the rest of her. However -just hear me out. We've all talked about Sevika's morning voice -and, yes it would be wonderful and orgasmic, but what I don't understand is why no one's mentioned how exquisite Grayson's morning voice would be.

You're slow to wake up.

You're not a morning person, to begin with. Sunrises go unmet so you can lavish in the safe embrace of slumber. The world is hard and cold, and your bed is soft and warm. If it weren't for your job, there wouldn't be enough coffee in the world to drag you out of bed before noon.

It's the weekend, however; being off the clock means you can luxuriate in bed for as long as you want. You can even take your coffee back to bed, just for the hell of it.

You make it until about ten before the sunlight becomes too bright to ignore. There's a crack in the curtains that cover your bedroom windows, and it's placed just right to let a slim beam of summer sunshine hit you right across the eyes.

You crack one eye open, with machinations to flip off the window in a very mature and adult manner -but that's as far as you get before you do a mental double-take.

There's slow, gentle breathing against your neck. There's warmth at your back and weight in the bed next to you. And, most importantly, there's a pair of arms still wrapped around you.

Grayson's still in bed, you realize. You blink, dumbfounded -then squint and hiss when the sun blasts your retinas with a full dose of morning. You lift one hand to shield your eyes, then puzzle out the unexpected presence in bed with you.

Simply put, your partner is never in bed when you wake up. Even with your job demanding you get up every morning, hers starts hours before yours (and, as much as you love her, you're not about to wake up every unholy morning and keep Grayson company while she gets ready for the day). Even though she's not a "morning person," per se, she rarely sleeps in -some sort of bullshit about her "body clock" waking her up early anyway.

Is she sick? You really can't fathom any other reason she'd be in bed so late in the day (well, relatively late).

Behind you, Grayson stirs. She inhales slowly through her nose, then nuzzles into your neck. She hums sleepily, then dips her head and kisses your shoulder. "Good morning."

Your jaw drops. Your eyelids flutter as your eyes roll back in your head.

You've always had a thing for your partner's voice -it's part of what drew you to her to begin with. She sounds so singular, so utterly entrancing. She could read the damn phone book, and you'd be hanging off her every word.

But eternals have mercy, her morning voice.

Fuck me. You swallow, then manage to scrape your brain into some semblance of order. "Morning," you manage, ever so eloquently. You clear your throat, try to put out the fire in your pants, then ask "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Y-you sure?" you ask, voice failing as the throb between your legs ratchets up a notch. "You never sleep in."

"It felt good to rest this morning." Grayson goes quiet when you arch against her -and when she speaks again, there's a certain coyness in her rich, gravely voice. "Are you feeling alright, darling? You're quite tense."

You sigh and squirm against her as her hand smooths down your side. "If I'd know how hot your morning voice is, I would've made a point to wake up when you get up for work."

Grayson chuckles and kisses the side of your neck. "Oh, really?"

You consider for a moment, then turn over and sling one leg over her hip. "No," you murmur as you press your lips against hers.

Grayson laughs. She meets your kiss with equal eagerness, then rolls you onto your back and slides her hands beneath your shirt. "That's what I thought."

[practically-an-x-man]

anything in particular you want to talk about with Jimmy and Lars?

Ooooh sure!! Thank you!!

Talk Shop Tuesday

So I just got into writing the next HIYH chapter, and I'm realizing how much fun it is to play with Jimmy's physicality as a ghost. Obviously he's very close to human, and his mannerisms reflect that, but there are still some ghostly attributes that play into that expression: namely, his chest wound, and the way he disappears.

Let's talk about both, why not?

First thing: the chest wound. It's established early on that the wound reflects his emotions: it's more intense when he's troubled or conflicted, and barely a trickle of blood when he's content or fulfilled. We also see that the blood is, as a whole, calmer when he's interacting with Lars.

In any ghost media, you'll find the concept of "unfinished business" as a key to helping the ghost pass on. That's integral to ghost lore, pretty much. Jimmy's chest wound is a physical reflection of that. The closer he gets to being fulfilled, the more that chest wound slows, and since Lars is the one who's... well, destined is the wrong word since this story isn't really about fate in any way, but projected to be the one who will fulfill his unfinished business for good, he's the one with the most "control" over the wound.

There's a lot more I could say about the significance of Jimmy's chest wound and how it ties into his unfinished business, but that leads to some spoilery things about future chapters, so I'm going to leave it where it is.

So, the second thing. Disappearing. We can see that Jimmy has a penchant for vanishing, and this too is a reflection of his character and personality. In the first chapter, Lars and Lucky are given the information that Jimmy disappears when he's looked at, but that isn't exactly true. Jimmy isn't good with conflict. He doesn't like anger, and he doesn't like fear. He doesn't usually disappear when people look at him - they get frightened when they see his bullet wound, or hostile upon realizing he's a ghost, and that's when he disappears, but that's such a close margin that the story got twisted into "disappears when viewed directly" instead.

It's also a reflection of his life, in a way. He came from a time period where he was forced to remain closeted for his own safety, and it even played into his death. In a way, he knew how to disappear his whole life: he knew how to be friendly and amicable to everyone around him, how to get people to like him, and how to diffuse conflict before it escalated. In his life, he disappeared from conflict by being someone hard to dislike. As a ghost, with the physical trigger of his bullet wound marking him as something nonhuman, he disappears from conflict in a much more literal way.

All of this structure of Jimmy as a ghost is like... yeah, I could just have given him these traits Because He's A Ghost and all, but I think it's more interesting this way. As we see from Francesca, his ghostly form began effectively as a shapeless bubble of emotion, no physical form, so there needs to be something that plays into his physical form once he finds it again. He claims to hate the bullet wound and has tried willing it to disappear, but subconsciously it's a part of him that he maintained as a reflection of his emotions. He can't get rid of it until he resolves the emotional turmoil attached to it.

Thank you again for the ask!! This was really fun!

[merakiui]

8) There’s so much to love about your writings!!! My gosh, I the characterization, the setting, the way you weave in details that utterly change with the ending once you recontextualize clues…

I also love how, depending on the context, the reader’s personality fits the situation and your readers are so relatable!!! They are all sympathetic to a degree and there is a reason why they are the way they are.

Plus, your ramblings are bite sized and easy to digest, which makes it all the more compelling and fun once you give us entire meals!

Also the themes? Symbolism? Pretty much everything you write has a purpose and I aspire to write like you!!!

9) Anything octatrio related! I’m not ready for TMDG, but I know it’s gonna be a blast!!! And your Azul thoughts (both planned sequels and future original thoughts) are always a treat!!! And let’s not forget about our cute, fluffy boy!!! (Give him more spotlight, I feel like he’s being neglect sometimes >.<)

3) Octatrio again, but with a special mention to Jade. I’ve taken inspiration from the way you’ve written him and have received positive feedback! Your Jade is so conniving and devious, but catch him at the right moment and he’ll be soft as his mushrooms he likes to forage! (It’s all an act, he’s acting cute just for you 0.0)

(ask game)

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WAAAAAAAAA OMG OMG...... you're too nice. T_T I read your messages with such a happy smile omg omg omg... >w< thank you so much!!!!

I'm so glad you can enjoy all of those facets of my writing! I am a sucker for symbolism. It will have to be pried out of my hands before I ever stop putting lots of symbolism in my writing hehe. >:D and relatable readers!!! :o thank you for saying so! I always hope the reader's personality can be enjoyed in my fics. Their interactions with certain characters are so different depending on the type of reader, and I try to write a different sort of reader for each fic just to add more flavor to the plot. Like a reader who greatly dislikes the yandere (in the context of DRU or Love me Not) or a reader who is head over heels for the yandere (like in Azul thought 4). It's also just really fun to write a variety of varying personalities for each reader and to see which would clash/connect with the character's personality!

Hehehe I fear no one will be ready for the monster that is TMDG. ^^;;;; like Azul thought 4, it's a concept that plagued my brain so much that it compelled me to create a playlist for it and it has me looking up all manner of moray eel courtship to slyly add into the scenes. I'm very excited to share it with everyone! ^0^ it's quite a lengthy read, but I hope such a thing can be acceptable. orz

And my Azul thoughts omg!!! Thank you for liking them! Azul is my beloved muse. He's just so fun to write for. I put him in so many concepts and he never fails to entertain! And then there's our beloved Floyd... admittedly, he has been a little neglected as of late. Rightfully so! >:( he was too troublesome during his basketball card rate-up!! But he is always properly loved on the blog hehe. <3

AAAAAAA thank you for liking the way I write Jade!!!!! He is very devious and conniving; that is a good way to describe him! I love him a lot because he's an eerie menace and a danger to all, but beyond that he can be so incredibly soft at certain moments. Just like the mushrooms he loves so much as you wrote!!! Maybe it's an act, or maybe it's the truth. It's so hard to tell with him, but when he's being so soft and sweet how can you not feel so fluffy? Not to share yet another excerpt from TMDG, but he's so soft!!!!!!! This is an eel who is so unabashedly in love with you and he's just barely treading the line between friend and lover. I love writing him in this way. In my mind, you hold the leash and he is happily, pleasantly collared (for now hehehe).