#also it's 5 am and i just can't sleep because i listened to the first 2 episodes and i'm so fucking excited

[69hertz]

Jumping straight into the burning dumpster of my TMAGP era, yay!

[flcwermimi]

❛ TAP INTO THE VOID STATE / SHIFT INTO YOUR DR THROUGH LUCID DREAMING ❜

Okay I believe this is one the easiest method if we stay consistent to the routine ( well the routine isn't that long y'all are just lazy to do it and later you will cry about saying ' I will never have my dream life , void is fake , vlogger are lying and blah blah ' I know u are all frustrated overwhelmed defeated by your failures but persist isn't living the life you've dream is worth?

— okay no more motivational speaking I guess you all know what is best for you

What is lucid dreaming?

‣ Lucid dreaming is when you’re conscious during a dream. This typically happens during rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, the dream-stage of sleep ( though my thoughts on this are you can do it anytime you don't need to be in REM STAGE )

‣ During a lucid dream, you’re aware of your consciousness. It’s a form of metacognition, or awareness of your awareness. Often, lucid dreaming also lets you control what happens in your dream.Some people report that lucid dreams feel very vivid and real, while others say they feel a bit hazier. Others say their lucid dreams feel different every time.

Why lucid dreaming?

‣ So I know most of y'all in this community find it too hard believe in the void/reality shifting and no matter how hard you try to believe the vlogger and anon you can't because of failures and other outer forces which has rooted in your subconscious conscious and unconscious mind since your childhood.But you all are very familiar with lucid dreaming you all have experienced it and even studied it thorough diffrent phase of your life so you know it's not fake

— remember every method you try is right you don't need perfect void concept , a perfect method, a perfect subliminals or perfect space to enter the void or shift it's all within you - believe that you're doing right trust yourself and everything is on your command

' let's start with the steps '

🤍 : first keep a dream journal and jot down your previous dream and if you don't remember your previous dream script a dream which is alike your everynight dream

🗒️ : Listen to this subliminal at least two hours a day ( you can do 1 hour in morning when you wake up and one hour in the night when are about to fall asleep & also when you're listening to subliminals you can just affirm that 'you all aware when you're dreaming/ you can lucid dream on your command/ you can lucid dream easily and effortlessly every night)

🌬️ : Do reality checks every 1-2 hours day ( counting your finger, pinching nose , bitting tounge)

What to do at night first?

→ Lay down in star fish position

→ Start counting & affirm [ I will be lucid dreaming tonight ] till you fall asleep

What to do when u are lucid dreaming ' actually '?

→ Many people when they are aware of dreaming get's excited and start creating a portal which cause the dream to collapse or slip away and the end either they wake up or fall asleep so if you want to not end up here follow the steps written below:

Now u are aware that you're finally lucid dreaming so don't excited or get scared every individual have different dream's so what u will doing first is the reality check ' count your fingers & remember u never have 10 fingers in your dream' - touch the grass or even bite your tongue

After doing reality check affirm 4-5 times ' stabilize dream & increase lucidity ' this will help you remain balanced

Now it's time to create Portal in your dream' there must be some kind door or windows ( it can also look like a cave or something werid) so u will enter the door/ window/ portal slowly and u will affrim either what u want [ if u want to enter the Void - I am in the void/ and if u want to shift - I am in my DR ] That's it congrats u did it

Okay so some people don't have doors/windows they also have people together them u will just gonna say to them take me to to void or to your DR and pls😭 don't try to control your dream too much your intrusive thought might win & u can create a portal itself like can make a door with anything!!

That's all you all got this luv y'all 🤍

[luna-the-moth]

i am begging for riddle with reader who makes audio porn 🙇🙇 does he accidentally stumbles by it? did cater introduced the concept to him? would his treatment of reader change after he sees them the next day? does he avoids them? he definitely can't listen to the entire recording no matter who is it for the first time LMAO he needs a 5 minute break

asidfsdf ask and ye shall receive, anon <3 riddle has so much potential on this subject tbh im <3

18+ / gn! reader / sub! riddle implied / reader does audio porn/asmr!

genuinely i think cater would consider showing it to him as a joke to see his reaction. on the other hand . he knows trey will kill him . BUT. i do think he toes the line by making enough subtle jokes about boyfriend/girlfriend/partner asmr that ace (disgusted, cringed out like the loser his is) asks him why he's talking about "lame shit like that," leading riddle to ask what it is...(he googles it later because no one will tell him, mostly out of fear, mischief, protectiveness, or some mixture of the sort).

Riddle stumbles upon one of your tamer audios at first: it's nothing saucy, just an audio where you're soothing your "partner" post-exam season. (he looked up "asmr, soothing" since that's one of the benefits to asmr trey had listed). nevertheless, his face burns red enough to rival trey's freshest strawberry tart once he realizes who the voice belongs to.

He doesn't allow himself to listen any further- how could he? to allow himself to fantasize about you so openly , , , yes you were kind, intelligent, and enjoyable to be around, but it's not as if he's harboring any romantic intent towards you!

and you...why would you post this publicly? do you not know how much power your words hold? how the timbre of your voice could send a man to his knees? to upload such intimate moments of yourself, scripted they may be...

Riddle's chest heaves as the realization of the situation fully sinks in, but he can't restrain himself from clicking the hyperlink promising "an exclusive sneak peek into [your] heart <3." yet unlike the romantic ideas riddle had come up with, the titles that appeared made him nearly faint.

"Teaching You How to Properly Obey My Orders."

"Caught You Slacking Off."

"A Reward <3"

All of them were so...intense.

Eyes razing through the posts upon posts of similarly titled audios, Riddle feels a shudder go through his body. He's never even heard of most of the acts you placed in the tags under each post but...the thought of you leaning forward into a microphone, murmuring all of your wishes to your paying listeners...he can't help but wish to know the experience, too.

His sleep that night is fitful. He cannot sleep properly . Cannot think properly . Cannot allow peace to overtake him for a moment lest his thoughts stray back to what he had found-

He's in a huffy mood the next day; far more likely to scold a slacking student or mischievous cat. But you...he doesn't approach you at all, avoiding your gaze with every accidental meeting. You wonder if perhaps this is part of him trying to spare you from his ill temper; the adeuce duo had told you of his moodiness from that morning.

But as time drags on, Riddle still can't quite look at you the same way as he once did. He's more passionate. Earnest in wanting to spend time with you, and perhaps a tad possessive as well...You sum it up as him making up for his previous mood, but any explanation you come up with never seems quite right...

<3 lemme know if you'd like to hear more thoughts about the twst charas, nonnie! im also down to talk about sub! twst boys outside of audio porn lol

[flowerandblood]

The Prince and The Fox (5)

[ modern! • Aemond x friend! • female ]

[ warnings: angst, violence, swearing ]

[ description: After the events of her childhood, despite her best efforts, her neighbor and the younger brother of her friend Helaena, Aemond, does not want to know her. This state lasts until a house party organized by his older brother, Aegon, during which an incident occurs that will change their relationship forever. Slow burn, angst, toxic ex-Alys, rough Aemond. This is several anon requests combined into one fic. ]

WARNING: The main plot between the characters takes place in high school. Yes, in high school. The belief that teenagers wait with an intimacy when they are in love in high school is ridiculous to me. Aemond and the character here are the same age. Don't ask me how old they are, in my country you are of the age of consent in your first year of high school and an adult in the last year of high school, so if it is more convenient for you, think about it that way and decide for yourself. In this story, I am not following the trail that they are magically friends right away, but how they become friends and what that even means. I'm writing this fic to give the perspective of young, lost people, not adult women who want to see exactly themselves in everything they read. If that's all you expect, this isn't the fic for you.

I don't want whining about this in my comments or asks. I will delete these and block you. You have been warned.

Aemond + Evans Series Moodboard

This is my first story that has its own playlist, but yes! Get in the mood! Story Music Playlist Song used in this chapter: Ooh to be ah (Kajagoogoo)

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

In the morning, she was woken from a deep sleep by Helaena saying that breakfast was ready and that if she felt like it, she could take a shower afterwards. She rubbed her eyes, not knowing for a moment where she was or what had happened.

She thanked her and swallowed loudly, remembering the scenes from the night before, wondering for a moment if it was real or if she had just dreamt it. She quickly unlocked her phone to see her message history and froze.

Oh fuck.

She pressed her lips together thinking only of how embarrassingly pleasurable what she had experienced with him was, a closeness that probably surprised both her and him.

He enjoyed it.

He wouldn't have done it if it had been any other way.

She thought she couldn't screw it up.

She felt something for him.

She was surprised to see that in the kitchen, besides their mother, was also their father, whom she saw extremely rarely, from what Helaena told her he was often away on long business trips.

"Good morning." She said softly, and he nodded with a smile, swallowing loudly a piece of bread roll he had just taken a bite of.

"Good morning."

She decided to eat something light and settled for cornflakes with milk. She almost choked on them when Aemond appeared out of the blue, apparently he had just taken a shower because his hair was still damp.

He sat down opposite her and gave her a meaningful glance that made her hot, then reached his hand for the pancakes, involuntarily running his tongue over his lower lip.

She remembered the touch of his lips on hers, how soft and firm they were, how well he kissed, and lowered her gaze, swallowing loudly as she continued eating, listening to the exchange between Aegon and his mother.

"Your tutor says you can't concentrate and you're constantly looking through your phone instead of listening to what the teachers are saying." She said lowly, apparently hoping her husband would pick up on the subject as well. Mr Targaryen looked at her surprised and grunted, glancing at his son.

"Is that true, Aegon?"

Aegon rolled his eyes, combing through his hair with an impatient hand gesture, and snorted.

"It's Sunday for goodness sake, can I have at least one day of peace?"

After breakfast she thanked their parents for their hospitality, grabbed her things and decided she would go home, not wanting to take up any more of their time, she had to study for a test on Monday anyway.

Helaena hugged her and thanked her again for the lovely time, she glanced out of the corner of her eye at her brother who was sitting at the table looking at her with an impenetrable gaze.

They had not written to each other.

She wanted to, was even dying over not having contact with him, but on the other hand she thought that she couldn't keep nagging him now, that she had promised herself that she would let it all go at a leisurely pace, that hurrying might only discourage him.

She wondered if he was also thinking about her and what had happened between them.

The next day she got up very early and ran to take a shower, excited to see him again at the bus stop, to talk again. She was afraid that it would be awkward and weird, but at the same time she couldn't get the smile off her face. She decided to wear her favourite black short-sleeved dress with a collar, fastened with big white buttons and topped it off with black trainers.

She showed up well ahead of schedule, however, she couldn't stand to be home anymore out of excitement. She could feel her legs bouncing with excitement as she sat on the bench.

She swallowed loudly when she saw him walking with his backpack thrown over his shoulder from across the street, earphones in his ears as usual. Not knowing why, she got up from her seat as he walked closer, looking at him with big eyes.

For a moment they stared at each other, not knowing how to act, she could feel her heart pounding hard.

He pressed his lips together and looked away, swallowing loudly, without even taking his earphones out of his ears.

Something was wrong.

She didn't know why she felt such a tight squeeze of disappointment when he didn't sit next to her on the bus, but somewhere in the back, sitting with his hood pulled over his head, his forehead pressed against the glass.

He took a few steps back for some reason.

She swallowed loudly, feeling tears under her eyelids, turning the other way, wondering what she had done wrong.

She wiped her cheek with a trembling hand, ashamed that he had broken her heart with such ease.

She didn't seek his gaze or his attention, subconsciously sensing that he didn't want it, trying to focus on the class but feeling only a tightness in her throat and discomfort in her stomach. She thought she wanted to maintain her dignity, that she wouldn't run after him and beg on her knees for an explanation.

If he wanted to move away and changed his mind, so be it.

She tried not to look at him while he and a few other people stood at the bus stop waiting for their bus to arrive. She shuddered, however, when she heard someone say his name, a low, feminine voice.

She turned over her shoulder and noticed how a college-looking girl, much older than them threw her arms around him, she had long, beautiful raven-black hair, she was dressed in a smart, light-coloured coat and long, black heeled boots.

She looked so mature.

"Why aren't you answering my messages? Are you angry with me?" She asked, touching his arm in a way that suggested she knew him very well.

She saw him give her a quick, frightened look, as if he was uncomfortable that she was watching the scene, and then swallowed loudly, tense.

"Not here, Alys." He replied so quietly that she barely heard it.

"Are you ashamed of me?" She giggled, a genuine smile on her lips, her eyes bright, intense green, beautiful.

She felt tears under her eyelids again and turned her back to them, quickly putting her earphones in her ears, not wanting to hear this discussion, turning on 'Ooh to Be Ah' by Kajagoogoo on her phone, feeling the tears run down her face.

She stared dully ahead, wondering if they were together, if she had miscalculated in thinking that he was inexperienced and lost just like her.

She imagined him the way she wanted to see him.

She boarded the bus first, not caring if he was still talking to her or not. She sat down in the first better available seat, and when she saw that he immediately sat next to her she pressed her lips together and stood up, wanting to change.

She felt him grab her arm, felt him say something to her, but she pulled away from him.

"Now do you want to talk?" She growled, not even taking her earphones out of her ears, not even caring what he had to say, walking to the other end of the bus, tired and frustrated by his behaviour, by the fact that he didn't know what he wanted, by deciding for himself when they were supposed to talk and when they weren't.

She wasn't a toy but a human being who felt.

She figured real friends didn't behave like that.

She waited until everyone had left before heading for the exit and saw through the window that he hadn't gone home but was waiting, his earphones hanging by his neck from under his sweatshirt. She squeezed her eyes shut, sighing heavily.

Fuck.

She stepped off the bus, pretending not to see him, but he immediately followed her, grabbing her by her arm, turning her violently in his direction, ripping her earphones from her ears.

"− what −"

"− can you fucking wait? − I'm talking to you −" He growled, and she pulled away from him, frowning her eyebrows, furious.

"Just an hour ago you were pretending you didn't know me, my friend." She said with a sneer, turning away from him again, his hand again on her arm, this time clenched much tighter.

"That hurts." She muttered as he turned her again violently, holding her wrist, his jaw clenched, fury in his eyes.

"− just − just stop for fucking second and listen − okay? −" He asked, and she sighed heavily, looking away, standing still, feeling like her heart was in her throat.

She didn't know if she wanted to hear what he had to say.

"My ex-girlfriend texted me last night saying she wanted to meet me. That she misses me. I couldn't recover from her for a long time. I didn't know anymore what or if I felt for her after everything that happened between us… you know. Fuck. I just wanted to think it all through. Alone. And instead of giving me time, like you did, she came to our school nagging me. Okay?" He asked lowly, leaning over her, and she looked at him with a pained expression.

"Whenever you have to think about something are you going to pretend you don't know me? Don't worry, from me you will never experience nagging. I don't want a friend who cares only about his comfort. I will not be your secondary solace. I regret everything that has happened between us." She said with pain and disappointment, pulling away from him and moving towards her house without looking at him.

It took me a long time to recover from her.

I didn't know how I felt.

He still loved her.

He still loved her, and yet he himself proposed that she stay with him, that she kiss him.

He wanted to see if it would feel good with another girl?

To feel better?

She threw herself down on her bed as soon as she got back into her room and burst into loud sobs.

She felt used.

She believed him.

She believed him to have pure, sincere intentions.

She pressed her lips together as she saw her display light up in the evening, the screen showing that she had received a new message from him.

She shook her head and went back to reading her textbook, not wanting to talk to him, not wanting to listen to his explanations, not wanting to be his friend or anyone else.

After half an hour, however, she got another message and then another and sighed heavily, heartbroken, wondering why he suddenly cared. She figured he wanted her now because she didn't need him, but if she just got his interest back then he would pretend not to know her again.

She reached for her phone and unlocked it, going into her messages with a pounding heart.

She pressed her lips together reading his last two messages and swallowed loudly, feeling hot in her stomach.

I told Alys I'm sorry, but for now I want to focus on a relationship with someone else and by that someone I mean you.

Oh shit.

What was she going to say to that?

She sat and looked at the display, panicked.

She herself no longer knew what she felt, what she wanted.

She shuddered when suddenly a new message appeared below previous ones.

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back.

She decided she would do just that.

That she wouldn't answer him, she would just think about it.

Let him know what it was like.

The next day it was he who was already waiting at the bus stop when she left the house, as soon as he saw her he immediately pulled his earphones out of his ears, looking at her with wide eyes. She walked up to him and they stood like that for a while in silence.

"…did you get my messages?" He asked lowly, uncertainly, and she nodded. He swallowed loudly and hummed, as if he was thinking about something.

"Shall we go truant?"

____

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @randomdragonfires @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes

[tihgnari]

ꕤ 44. a love stolen away (ღ)

tw: angst / wc: 743

the sky was colored cerulean, with minimal puffy white clouds floating about in a snail-like pace. it's a beautiful day today — perfect for picnics in the park with family, perfect for walking around the sidewalk with no particular goal but to feel the fresh breeze kiss your skin…

perfect for a wedding. 

"say, ayaka, how long do you think their vows was for each other?"

ayaka, who had started her day banging her fist against the varnished wooden doors, stops to look at you incredulously. "dude, i'm literally trying to get us out of here. don't be so pessimistic at least!" the banging resumes, with two fists this time. "i'll get you out of here, okay? just wait, and you'll get your speak now moment!"

you didn't laugh. much less reacted, really. your eyes hold no light, and it's jarring seeing the contrast against the sunny day, almost as if the universe is making fun of your miserable state.

"i wonder what color his suit was. i think he looks rather dashing in white, then again i also think he can pull-off any color."

ayaka sighs, walking towards you with heavy steps. she crouches before you but you don't spare her a glance. "don't worry, yn, okay? we can—"

"if you do get us out, i want to fly back home. maybe all of this is sign that me and ayato were just never meant to happen. we're from two different worlds. after he graduates he'll be the president of a company, but when i graduate i'll just be some clumsy intern who works 9 to 5 and doesn't get paid half as much as the hours i put in."

ayaka feels a spark of irritation in her nerves and she's never want to slap some sense into you as much as she does now. 

"yn, listen to me. what are you saying? don't give up yet—"

"coming here even made you fight with your grandfather. i don't want you to fight with your family."

"no," ayaka retaliates, stubborn. "first of all, you are more than what you think, yn. i genuinely don't think i would've survived college nor would i even be as mentally strong enough to even run as president! i am where i am now, because some god or deity above gave me an amazing friend. grandpa… needed to get that reality check that times are changing and he can't dictate what his grandchildren should do anymore."

you're silent, and ayaka would've thought you weren't listening if not for the glint of tears building in yours eyes. 

"this is just so fucked up," you whispered. "i didn't even get the chance to explain. he got married thinking i never returned his feelings, and that's what hurts me the most."

"hey, hey, the ceremony won't start in…" ayaka looks over her shoulder on the small digital clock by the bedside table. "no less than three hours! we can still make it so don't speak like all hope's gone. just help me bust down this door and we can hail a cab, the venue isn't far from here so—"

"earlier this morning, while you were still sleeping, do you wanna know what your grandfather said to me before he left?"

truthfully, ayaka doesn't. "what?"

"the ceremony started this morning, at 9AM. they changed the time and had informed all the guests three days ago — except for you. he said he knew his grandchildren, and honestly? i think he really does…"

ayaka wants to pass out. 

"…considering he knew ayato wouldn't spend a night in a room with the girl he's forced to marry and that you'd fly here with me to soil his plan. he knew everything. he caught ayato, and ordered him to text aoki that he was staying here when really, he was at another hotel. ayato's will is already broken down. your grandfather knew your brother won't run away, that he had no other option but to accept the marriage. while you, on the other hand…"

so that's why you looked lifeless, like you want to raise your white flag and fly back home tail in between your legs. 

the first tear rolls down your cheeks. ayaka didn't want to imagine what you felt, of a love stolen away before it began.

"timecheck: its 12PM, and i've given my context. so answer my question, how long do you think their vows was for each other?"

LOWKEY » previous : masterlist : next

a kamisato ayato social media au

summary — it was only recently you found out kamisato ayaka was, in fact, not an only child after all! seeing ayato for the first time gave you the severest case of the butterflies but according to ayaka, he’s off limits, especially to you as her most treasured friend. well, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt, right?

notes — a wild rosie appears... and dips again for the next 5 mos /j

🏷 i. @rinrinchin @nejibot @viiolettee @katsumikumo @starryeyedkoko @xingqiusliegee @boxdisappeared @lovelyycherries @love6cks @kiyowoir @luvvmeilin @blackberri-jelli @moonlightbqe @kazooms @tricethecharm @lynnforever @kaedear @xiaoisahawtie @crowbird @apotatouwu @xinii @euryrue @aequha​@nuttytani @plinkuro @aixaingela @milesluvrrad @windasteriaa @cherrytomato2 @zannivrs @eishtar @wccycc @ceylestia @sweet-almonds @queenaveryrules @veyu002 @ukinya @adeptusx @x-xxiaos @loveyoutothestars @ssalamanderr

[our-destiny]

Day 6 of @creativepromptsforwriting's 30 Days Writing Challenge - Write about a blackout

A/N: These past 5 days I have been going outside my comfort zone, well today I decided to jump back in and write more Soft Dark Bucky :]

Content / Trigger Warnings: Stalking, Murder, implied noncon touching

I am not responsible for the media you consume, read the warnings, minors DNI

30 Days Writing Challenge Masterlist

Word Count: 1228

. ☪︎* ☁︎. . * ✰ .· ☁︎ . *  ✯. ☪︎* ☁︎. . * ✰ .· ☁︎ .

He was always watching. Everywhere you go he was always there keeping an eye on you. Or keeping you safe, as he described it. He left notes sometimes, though they were getting more and more frequent. That's also how you knew you weren't just paranoid; he really was everywhere. It seemed like as long as there were shadows for him to hide in, he would be watching. At first, they weren't as creepy. The first one you found on your desk when you walked into work. By now you had been feeling watched for about a month, but chalked it up to a lack of sleep because of work, but this quickly made you change your mind. The piece of lined paper was folded in half, blank save for some messy handwriting at the top.

I don't trust Michael. You should stop talking to him.

- James

Michael was your co-worker, he seemed pretty nice, you wouldn't call him a close friend but you talked to him occasionally. But you didn't know anybody named James, especially nobody that would leave a note like this. It was probably a prank, some of your co-workers were tricksters they probably saw how tired you were recently and thought you needed some fun in your life. You ignored it, kept speaking to Michael during lunch breaks and kept brushing off that feeling of being watched. That was until a week later you found another note on your desk, the same lined paper, folded in half with the same messy handwriting.

I didn't want to do this but you left me no choice. You should have listened.

- James

That day Michael didn't come to work. Or the next. Or the next. And a few days later they found his body. So maybe that wasn't a prank. And maybe you weren't just being paranoid.

The notes continued sporadically, a few of them were warning you not to get too close to that new friend you made and despite how bad you felt suddenly ghosting people you were too afraid to find out what would happen if you didn't. But most of them were harmless, maybe you would even say they were sweet if they weren't from your stalker. Stuff like, "Remember to drink water, you can't live off of caffeine." or, "That shirt looks nice on you." All from James.

But then they started showing up in your house. And 'James' started referencing things no one should know about you. How your shampoo smells nice, or reminding you to buy more bread before going home because you're running low. Or how that one annoying ex "won't be bothering you anymore." You assume they never found the body since you didn't hear anything about it. He also starting signing off differently, before it was just his name but now he says all sorts of things. "Yours Forever", "Love, James", "You own my heart,". He was talking as if he were your lover, not a deranged stalker with an unhealthy obsession. But that was how it stayed for a while. You'd never be apart from James, he would manifest in the shadows and you could feel his gaze scanning every inch of your body. You didn't know what he wanted but for now he seemed content with just looking, dealing with anyone who got too close for his liking, and leaving you weird notes around your house, lined paper, folded in half with messy handwriting.

As embarrassing as it is to admit, you were becoming slightly scared of the dark. Whenever you looked into shadows you swear you could see something moving in them, James haunting your mind, making you feel like the shadows are watching you. Your new found fear of the dark started becoming a hindrance on your life, making you jump at nothing, scared to walk down a dark hallway.

Which really didn't help when the power went out one night.

The storm was pushing against your windows, the occasional crack of thunder lighting up the sky. He was here, as he always was, watching you from the shadows. You had every light on, but even then he was still just out of sight. That was, until the room was swallowed up by darkness. And your phone was dead. How convenient. You should have charged it in advance, of course the power would go out on a night like this, but you were frozen on the couch the past half hour, waiting in suspense for the moment the power goes out, as opposed to preparing for it. You knew that he would make his move now when the room was pitch black. So you have to make your move first.

You stood up from the couch, ready to make a dash for the door at a moments notice. The wind was still screaming outside, making it hard for you to listen for him, but you heard him anyway. Footsteps. To your left. You turned to face the direction he was, and slowly tried to walk towards the door despite how little you could see. Then the footsteps stopped. Silence. You should have kept going, it was obvious he was in the room but instinctively you stopped, trying to listen for him again. That was a mistake.

He was behind you. You didn't hear him move at all, but that quickly faded to the back of your mind when he put his hands on your hips. When it comes to dangerous situations you always thought you'd fight or run away, you didn't expect to freeze. But you did. James rest his head on your left shoulder, nuzzling into your neck, and when he spoke you could feel his breath just below your ear.

"You scared of the dark sweetheart?" His tone was soft, caring, a bit gravelly, like he hadn't used it in a while, but it sounded warm. Not at all like you expected your stalker to sound.

"Shh, shh, don't worry, m'gonna protect you. No need to be scared, I'm sure it'll come back on in a minute." He started gently swaying the both of you, you guess the action was supposed to be comforting.

"James?" The combined fear of the dark room and your stalker made your voice shaky. God, you felt pathetic, the door is right there, he's not even holding onto you that tight.

"That's right, sweetheart. It's nice to finally touch you, when you're awake at least." James gave a small chuckle at the end, as if it was funny that he was touching you in your sleep.

"But, why?" What did he want with you? Why was he killing off random people for you? Why was he treating you like his lover when he's been stalking you?

"Mmm? Why?" He waited a breath while he thought of an answer. "Because you feel like coming home. After Hydra I didn't know what to do. But you feel like home and I'm not willing to lose that again."

He wraps his arms around your waist, the left one felt colder, pressing against you uncomfortably. He gave you a small squeeze, still rocking side to side with you.

"I'm not gonna lose you. Not gonna let anybody take you from me. You're all mine."

You don't think you're ever going to get over your fear of the dark. Not after this.

. ☪︎* ☁︎. . * ✰ .· ☁︎ . *  ✯. ☪︎* ☁︎. . * ✰ .· ☁︎ .

Support content creators by reblogging, I'd really appreciate it <33

[ughgoaway]

your lil sick matty blurb makes me think of the first time baby annie is sick and just fussy and restless and matty being a new dad absolutely does not know what to do (throwback to annie chest wrap blurb where absolutely everyone gets involved eventually) i think he calls adam late at night slightly panicked because she won’t stop crying and she feels warm and he doesn’t know if he should take her to the hospital (it’s literally a cold and a slight fever) anywayyyyy, i have many many thoughts on this goodbye

VVVVVVVVV yes I adore this. I just know he is freaking tf out the whole time. He hears her cough once and is just staring at her constantly.

He's standing over the crib watching her, listening out for a cough or sniffle, but she seems to be alright… For now, anyway.

Eventually, he sleeps in Annie's room, sitting on a chair in the corner. He's not quite ready to leave her alone yet.

It's then that he finally understands the concept of a mother's intuition.

But 20 minutes later, a scream wakes him right up, and baby Annie is just crying endlessly. She clearly feels poorly, and Matty just doesn't know what to do :((

He rocks her in his arms, then on a rocking chair, he changes her, feeds her, gets her new clothes, and bathes her. He truly tries EVERYTHING.

But Annie won't stop crying and seeing her wet eyes with rosy red cheeks and a snotty nose is breaking him.

He ditches Dr. Google and goes to the thousand parenting books he bought before she was born to see if they have anything useful. He assumed the books would make him less scared, but somehow, they made it worse.

It's 3 am when Matty starts to really panic, she's been crying for 4 hours and refusing to eat. She’s also a tiny bit hot, or at least Matty convinces himself that she is.

He's googling furiously to see if he can give her any medication, but the more he reads, the more he freaks out.

He gets his shirt off and tries skin-to-skin with the baby wrap. He's hoping it will soothe her a tiny bit. Thank god annie eventually settles, only for 5 minutes, but it's enough time for a panicked call to Adam.

He's now convinced himself that Annie has scarlet fever, pneumonia, or smallpox. Or maybe all three at the same time.

(impossible, and Annie only has a slight cold. but he is a new dad - give him a break, okay?)

Needless to say, Adam isn't over the moon with the 4 am phone call. But once he answers the phone to Matty in a panic, he realises his friend needs him. So he's slightly less pissed, but when Annie is better Matty fucking owes him.

“She's got a fever. And her cheeks are all red. She won't eat. She won't sleep. I just don't know what to do, Adam??”

“MATTHEW. You do not get to call me at 4 a.m., freak out down the phone, and then ignore me.”

The whole time Adam is trying to cut in, but Matty is ignoring him completely.

“does she need to go to the hospital? How do I get a newborn to the hospital? She hasn't even really been in the car yet. Is there a baby part of the hospital? What if she needs surgery?? All the tools will be too big for her tiny body-”

For the first time all night, Matty takes a deep breath. 

“Right. Yes. sorry. I just had no idea what to do. I can't cope when im ill. But it turns out that when your child is ill, it is 1000x worse. this whole parent thing is hard”

Adam begrudgingly wakes Carly up, and they both calm Matty down. They explain that she doesn't have any diseases, but she probably has a slight cold. They tell him how much Calpol to give her and how to get her temperature down.

On the other side of the phone, Matty is slightly bouncing on the spot to soothe the grumbly baby on his chest as he's taking notes on what they're saying. 

“Good okay…Yes. Okay, im gonna go do all that”

“That sounds good Matty, let us know how she is tomorrow, okay?” Carly says softly, leaning on Adam's shoulder half asleep.

“I will. Thank you guys. I love you both”

“We love you too” and “gay” come from the phone at the same time, which oddly was exactly what Matty needed. 

By 6 a.m., Annie is cooler and is sleepy soundly in her cot. The same cannot be said for Matty. 

He is watching like a hawk and trying not to fall asleep standing up. His eyes keep on dropping, but every time Annie wiggles or makes a noise, his heart jumps, and he wakes right back up.

At some point, he goes to make a coffee and sits down as the kettle boilsm just 5 minutes of rest he assures himself. But Matty falls asleep at the table with his mouth open and heavy snores leaving him. 

Furious knocking at 10 am scares him half to death, and he trudges to the front door, eyes still heavy with sleep. He catches a quick look at himself in the hallway mirror and can't hide his disgust. 

His hair is insane, curls going in every direction and sticking on end from his stressed hands running through them. He has heavy bags under his eyes and bone-dry lips. He has some dried sick on his shoulder and an empty baby wrap loosely on his chest. 

But if he's honest, he couldn't give less of a fuck right now.

“What.” is how he answers the door, clearly not exactly thrilled with any visitors, but his face scrunched in confusion when all the boys are on the other side of the door.

“Why are you all here?” he asks as he rubs his eyes and walks back into his house, leaving the door open for them to follow.

“Hann told us Annie was sick, is she okay?” George asks worriedly, looking around the room for any sign of the infant. 

“Yeah, he said you called him at like 4 am, and she had a fever. We were worried about her” says Ross as he goes to boil the kettle to make coffee for a clearly sleep-deprived and groggy matty. 

“I tried to tell them she'd be okay, but they demanded to come over here and see her.” Adam rolls his eyes as he speaks, but still quietly adds, “ and I kinda wanted to see her too.”

That's the first thing in the past 24 hours that puts a smile on Matty's face. 

“You're all such saps.”

The three men scoff but don't make any real effort to deny it.

Matty grabs Annie from her cot, and she couldn't be happier this morning, same gummy smile and grabby hands as usual. She still has a snotty nose and pink cheeks, but it's clear she's feeling better.

The next 40 minutes are basically a game of pass the Annie as each man gets an opportunity to hold her and double-check she is okay. 

George scans her carefully, tracing every inch of her to make sure she's really okay. He holds her close to his chest and doesn't take his eyes off her the whole time she's on him.

Ross just holds her to his chest and sits on the sofa softly rocking her. He says soft things to her that no one can quite make out to and smiles down at her.

Adam has a rattle that she loves and does everything he can to make her happy again. resting her on his lap, showing her toys, shaking her rattle, and just smiling at her with a big grin. 

Annie settles in a small bassinet in the front room, and the 4 men sit on Matty’s sofas with tea and coffee in silence. All secretly listening for any signs of discomfort.

[ash-says]

How to tackle Fragmented Sleep/ Sleep disruptions :

This post is inspired and geared to help @thisisneededfmr .

Also to every one of those who are going through similar issues. It becomes extremely taxing when you can't sleep peacefully at night. You keep on waking up in between after some hours if not then suddenly you are half asleep which according to me is even more annoying. Being an insomniac or nightmares can make this condition even worse.

Sleep fragmentation can be described as frequent interruption or disruption in the normal sleep cycle. It can cause various chronic health issues as well as have repercussions on mental health.

Ways to tackle Fragmented Sleep:

1) Develop a sleep schedule:

Instead of being a night owl jump into your bed and try to sleep. It will be difficult at first but slowly and steadily you might fall asleep. Count numbers?? Try to sleep at the same time everyday. Because once it becomes a habit you will automatically feel sleepy.

2) Avoid Caffeine or any foods that result in hyperactivity:

Coffee is infamous for making you feel nervous and jittery. So avoid it before bedtime hours. Any kind of foods that result in a hyperactive nervous system cancel them out.

3) Practice relaxation techniques:

Listen to calming music, do breath work, meditate, read a nice book before you fall asleep. This might help in calming your nerves.

4) Exercise regularly and do yoga before sleeping:

The benefits of exercise are well known to us. I don't want to waste my time in convincing you about it. There are some specific yoga asanas you can do before sleeping and trust me it works like wonders. One of my friends when I used to live in a dorm made us do it and the sleep after that was just a chef's kiss.

5) Limit screen time before bed:

The radiations emitted by the phone or electronic devices disturb your sleep cycle. So try not to use your phone before you fall asleep. In fact at my home this is a rule we never sleep with the phones near us. They are kept at a great distance so that the quality of sleep is not disturbed.

6) Try not to do work or other activities in bed:

I read it somewhere on Tumblr long back please if anyone knows the blog kindly tag them in comments so I can give the reference here. It stated that you should only use your bed for sleeping as it will automatically signal your brain to sleep once you are in there.

7) Address your mental issues:

Most of the time sleep fragmentation is caused by psychological problems. Is there something you are trying to escape from? Or are you in a stressful environment? Depression? Anxiety? Adhd?etc you get my point right. Try to fix those issues. Your problem might be arising from there. Who knows.

8) Check your medicines if you are on any:

Literally!!! I am not kidding. It's really serious. Some medicines put your nervous system in hyperactive mode resulting in fragmented sleep. Check with your doctor and share these things with them. If the problem has started after you started the dosage maybe it's responsible for it.

From here the suggestions are based on personal experience with no scientific data to back it up. Use your own discernment.

9) Hug someone or something and sleep:

This works for me sometimes. If there's someone you are close to then try asking them if they would be okay to sleep while hugging you or holding you close. It's therapeutic. Plus it helps in relaxing the adrenaline in your body and brings you out of the survival mode.

10) Sleep in an open space:

Sometimes our bodies are not able to relax in a confined place. It's part of a phase especially if you have trauma related to closed areas. It can be triggering for your body and your brain might wake you up in between to look for danger. So sleeping in an open space like a balcony or something might work.

11) Keep a knife under your pillow:

I know this sounds ridiculous but it's a belief in our culture that doing it solves sleep related issues. Especially if you are having nightmares. And even if it doesn't work you have a knife to swing if someone attacks you in case. It's cool.

12) See a doctor:

When nothing of the above helps and even your own techniques that you might know it's high time you take professional help. It's not something you should ignore.

Being stated all that I really wish you a GOOD NIGHT SLEEP and pray that you overcome these issues. There are a lot of underlying causes that result in sleep fragmentation but the main one being Stress, Trauma, Emotional distress,etc.

So find a friend and vent it out if you are going through any negative state of mind. If you don't have anyone my ask box is always open. Drop a message and I will try to reach out to you as soon as I can.

Reminder: You are doing great given the circumstances. So keep fighting on and don't let anything have power over you.

[thisnightissparkling089]

Update on my lungs under the cut. People should only have to be subjected to this health update if they want to, mainly because it's a lot😅

I had a second opinion appointment 2 weeks ago in the (what feels like) never ending quest to figure out what the hell is happening with my lungs and if this can be fixed.

My first pulmonologist wanted to do a lung biopsy. Which is a major surgery and a lengthy recovery, not to mention incredibly expensive.

I just heard back from my new dr, and he has finally reviewed the scans and feels the next steps should be a bronchoscopy and a bronchoalveolar lavage.

The bronchoscopy is a procedure where a thin lighted tube is placed down my throat and into my lungs to get a better view of my lungs and what is happening with them.

The lavage procedure releases saline into my lungs, suctions it back out, and that sample is then sent out to be tested.

Both should be able to done in the same procedure, under light anesthesia.

I continue to hope that whatever this is is something that can be reversed or at the very least better controlled.

The main issues I have is that it's hard to properly take a deep breath without pain. Like you just sucked down a slurpee, and your chest feels ice cold. That and the fact that my oxygen levels will drop doing basic things. I could take a bath and between getting out of the tub and getting dressed, my oxygen levels could drop into the 80's, sometimes even into the 70's.

The procedures will be scheduled for sometime in the coming weeks, hopefully early to mid May.

He asked if I had any questions, and the one I do have that no one can seem to give me a straight answer on is if I will die. Because any time I google something, it's like, you have 3-5 years to live, congratulations! 🙄

He of course couldn't give a definitive answer, but did his best to try and reassure me that he doesnt really think death is iminate from this within the next 5 years and he's hopeful we can either fix or better control this. But until we get a full view of the lungs, it's hard to know exactly what's happening.

It occurred to me on Saturday that I've actually been depressed for weeks now and just couldn't see it because it's presenting a lot differently now than it previously has.

Typically when I'm depressed I can't even get out of bed. I can't eat, I sleep all the time, I feel empty, I cry.

This time around it's so different. I feel like I'm overeating, I can get up, go out with friends, work fine. But I'm also struggling to fall asleep and stay asleep and such little tasks such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, washing my hair, etc. Feel so overwhelming I can't even think about them.

I was able to get an appointment this morning with my primary doctor and got back on my medication. I'd previously been off it for 2 years and was doing well, but this whole lung issue has thrown me for a loop, especially since it's lasted as long as it has.

I know there is no shame in seeking help and getting back on my meds. I also know that it doesn't mean I'll have to be on them for the rest of my life.

Right now I'm just taking everything day by day and am so grateful to be surrounded by such supportive people and have a space where I can vent.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading and listening💜

[13as07]

Ours #5

(Shikamaru Nara Smut)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to PEIEN516]

Requested by: Anonymous

Word Count: 4,481 (I'm sorry it's so long, I didn't think it was gonna be this long)

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Name Calling: Un/Pretty Girl, Sir, Spoiled, Brat

DD/LG Themes: Daily Routine Control,

Hair Pulling

Praising

Spanking

Creampie

Talk about weight (nothing terrible, I just know it can be a sensitive topic)

Oral (Fe/male receiving)

Breeding Kink

Vibrator

Overstimulation

Pantie Gag

Begging

———————————————————————

     "Pretty Girl. Pretty Girl, it's time for you to wake up," Shikamaru's voice soothes me out of sleep, kisses brushed to my neck and his hands sliding over my stomach under my shirt. "You need to get up so I can get you ready before my first meeting, do you understand?"

     "Yes, Sir," I grumble, my voice dry from the night and still groggy with sleep. I wrap my arms around Shika's shoulders, tugging myself closer to him before digging my nose into his neck.

     He laughs softly, lifting me out of the bed. I shiver from the loss of the bedding heat, clinging to him more, trying to collect warmth from his body. "What should I make you for breakfast? Rice and peaches or rice and bananas with honey?"

     "Bananas and honey," I whisper against him, softly digging my teeth into his clothed shoulder. "Please?"

     "Anything for my Pretty Girl," he coos, the sound of a kitchen chair being moved following Shika's softness. His movements are slow and gentle as he settles me into the chair, pecking my lips before leaving me shivering in the cold room.

     "Good morning," he continues to coo when he returns, wrapping a throw blanket across my lap, and helping me cuddle into it before kissing me again. "Who's a sleep girl? Are you sleepy? Yes, you are," he gently mocks, cupping my face as his thumbs slide under my eyes. "My sleepy girl." Another peck to my lips until I'm left alone again, Shika sliding away to finish making my breakfast.

     I rest my head on the table, tugging the blanket further up my body as I wait for my food. I don't have to wait long, courtesy of Shikamaru starting my breakfast before he wakes me. When he returns he's balancing two bowls - one of rice and one with my fruit - and two cups - one filled with water and my cup of coffee to follow the water.

     "Lift your head," he orders, setting down the dishes before using my hair to tug my head up. "Pretty Girl," he praises, settling into the chair next to me. Shikamaru continues to coo at me, telling me how pretty I am, how lucky he is to have me, and how he can't wait to marry me, as I eat. "Pretty, pretty girl," he compliments once more, pecking my lips before starting to clean up my dishes. "Go wait for me in the bathroom, okay?"

     I nod my head slowly, waiting for my coffee to kick in. "Spoiled," he says, losing his soft morning voice because of my lack of obedience.

     "I'll wait in the bathroom for you, Sir."

     My quick fix is rewarded by a string of kisses littered across my face. "That's my Pretty Girl. What a good girl I have. Good girl." I nod along to my compliments tilting my head toward him as I half listen.

     Shikamaru is always gentle with me in the morning, softly cooing and coddling me as he directs me through my routine. This is usually the only time he truly gets to be the soft dom he is at heart, courtesy of me being a brat throughout the day. It gives our dynamic a nice balance, an hour or two in the morning of me obeying so Shika can coddle to counteract all my antics throughout the day.

     I know he enjoys me misbehaving and getting to punish me throughout the day, but I also know he enjoys the moments I simply behave and blindly obey him. It reminds Shikamaru how much I trust him to lead me and make decisions for me. It reminds me how much he loves me and cares for me.

     I sulk away, heading towards the bathroom. I snap the light of the room on before climbing onto the counter, resting my back against the mirror, and letting my legs dangle over the countertop. Slowly my caffeine starts working, sweeping away the reminder of sleep trapped behind my eyes. "Shika!" I whine, my impatience for his attention building.

     "One second. Let me finish making your lunch."

     "One second!" I mock, a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth when he lets out a sigh.

Shika isn't wrong - mostly because it's rare for him to be wrong in the first place. His footsteps fill the house as he heads my way, stopping to lean in the doorway as he looks at me. "You're beautiful."

"You're handsome," I echo, letting my eyes tumble around his frame.

He moves forward, pressing another kiss against my lips before pulling away. My eyes follow his movements, watching him prep my toothbrush before giving it to me. I do what is expected of me, brushing my teeth under Shikamaru's watchful eyes.

"Are they clean?" He mumbles, his hand cupping my cheeks, forcing my mouth open so he can double-check. "Do it again," he mutters, slightly pushing his dominance. Again, I fall into compliance, brushing my teeth for the second time, my mouth falling open when I'm done. Shika nods in approval, letting me know I can rinse my mouth out. What a cocky little thing he can be sometimes.

Once my mouth is rinsed, I sit up straight again, face turned up as I wait for the next step of my morning routine. Shikamaru wets a cloth before using a hand to hold my chin in once. His free hand rubs the cloth over my face, his touch gentle and soft, and his eyes locked on me. "I love you," he whispers, bopping my nose before focusing on my forehead.

"I love you," I echo again, my hands moving up to cling to the wrist holding my head still.

I get another kiss before he pulls away from me, dousing his hands in the water before coating them with my face wash. He falls back in place before his fingers again are gentle and nimble, rubbing the soap across my skin. "I have left you a list of chores to do while I'm at work today."

"I wanted to go to the office with you," I whine, squeezing his wrists I've wrapped my hands around again.

"I know but the house needs attention. If all the chores get done before I come home for my lunch you can spend the other half of the day at the office with me, okay?" Shika promises, pulling away to wash his hands and grab the cloth again.

"Yes, Sir," I mutter, clinging to the same part of him as he carefully wipes the soap from my face.

"There's my Pretty Girl," he coos, another string of pecks peppered to my lips. I'm lifted off the counter and settled on my feet as Shikamaru's hands rub up and down my sides. "Go wait as I clean up, okay?"

"Yes, Sir," I repeat, scurrying away to wait for him to put away the few items used in the bathroom. I settle on the edge of the bed, eagerly waiting for Shika to join me in the bedroom.

My stomach is already churning by the time he joins in the room. "Pretty Girl," he coos, slowly walking towards me. "Strip." I obey instantly, tugging my pj top off before wiggling out of my shorts and panties. "You've been so good this morning," Shika coos, falling to his knees on the ground. "My Pretty Girl deserves a reward. What do you want your reward to be?"

"Fuck me, please," I mumble, rubbing my thighs together.

"Is that the only thing you want?" He asks, peeling my thighs apart, his eyes locked on my cunt.

"No," I mutter, wiggling around because of his intense stare. "Could you... I want... please?"

"Use your words," Shikamaru orders, blowing a soft breath over my arousal. "I can't give you what you want if I don't know what you want."

"I... I want you to... to eat me out. Please?"

"Anything my Pretty Girl wants, she gets," he mutters, arms wrapping around my legs before tugging me forward, making me lay flat on the mattress. Shikamaru's tongue instantly starts lapping at me, trailing up and down my cunt.

     I squirm from the stimulation, making him tighten his hold on my legs to keep me still. "Stop acting unpretty and sit still," he mutters against me, twirling his tongue around my clit again.

     "Shika," I whine, tugging on the hands clinging to my thighs.

     He chuckles, the vibrations from the noise being pressed against me as his eyes are cast up. "Are you already tapping out? What a drag," he teases, letting me pull his hands off my legs. Shikamaru crawls up my body slowly, decorating my skin with his lips during his short trip.

     "What are you?" He mutters when his trip ends, his lips brushing against mine as he talks.

     "Your pretty girl," I whisper, tightening my thighs around his hips as he grinds himself against me.

     "Louder," he orders, his hands falling to work himself out of his pants.

     "Your pretty girl," I repeat louder this time, my hands shooting up to grip Shikamaru's shirt when he thrusts into me.

     "Again."

     "Your pretty girl," the answer tumbles out again, my of pitched from Shika's thrusts.

"Again."

"Your pretty girl."

The cycle continues, Shikamaru ordering me to repeat myself with every thrust, and me giving into his want. I know where his sudden need to remind me of our relationship is coming from. He's worried - even possibly terrified - that he's not around enough now that he's the chief, now that there's more people than just me relying on him.

It doesn't take long for his thrusts and my voice to unravel Shikamaru. His hands cling to me as his thrusts get sloppy, the usual warmth of his sperm soon filling me. "Just... one more," he mutters, his thrusts slow but still active, pushing his cum deeper into me.

"I'm your pretty girl, Shikamaru," I whisper cupping his face in my hands before pecking his nose. "Ever since I knocked into you at the academy," I tease, giving him another kiss, this time to his lips.

Shika hums in approval, covering my neck in kisses to help calm himself down. Slowly he pulls away from me, his dick being tugged out as he moves.

Once he's out, I'm flipped over, ass in the air, and head pressed into the blankets. "You are so pretty. So, so pretty," he tells me, the heat of his eyes on my pussy again. "I should get you dressed though. I have to get going soon," he mutters, shoving his fingers into me a couple of times before leaving his mess to drain into me.

The sound of Shikamaru opening the closet and shuffling our clothes around fills the room. When the sound settles down, I'm shifted around, tugged to my feet standing in front of him. Shika hums softly to me as he dresses me, hooking my bra on, followed by my shirt, and helping me wiggle into my panties.

     "I'm not wearing that," I mutter, turning my nose up to the skintight skirt he chose for me to wear.

     "Why not?"

     "It makes my thighs look fat."

     Tap, tap, tap.

     Three quick and hard swats are slapped into my ass. "Sorry, I don't think I heard you right. Please repeat yourself Pretty Girl," he hisses, glaring down at me as he waits for an answer.

     "I said," I start, my voice louder as I glare back at him. "That skirt makes my thighs look fat."

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

     The skirt tumbles to the ground as Shika spanks me again, his now free hand balling my hair up so I can slither away. Once my spanks are done, he uses his hold on me to force our faces closer, eyes locked and nose bumping against each other. "What have I told you about using that word in a negative light? So what if you're 'fat'? That's a word used for someone at an unhealthy weight. Do you feel unhealthy? Is it difficult for you to do things? To breathe because of your weight?"

     "Well, no but - "

     "But nothing. So what you're not a stick like some other girls? I like you with a little bit of meat on your bones. It makes you look healthier. You're being a very unpretty girl right now. Your health is what matters, not your weight. Our future children won't have confidence if they see their mother lacking it. You are beautiful, no matter your size."

     Shikamaru lets out a soft sigh, his fingers going gentle and sliding against the roots of my hair to massage it. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked to you like that. That's not how I discipline you, I was out of line."

     His apology is closed off with twenty or so kisses peppered across my face. "Alright, here's what we're going to do, okay? Since I broke one of your rules for me, I'll take off some of your chores and I'll do them when I get home for the night. Now, is there a reason aside from your weight that you don't want to wear the skirt?"

     "I don't like how it squeezes my legs. It's too tight and leaves imprints," I mutter, letting my eyes flutter closed as I enjoy Shika's soft touches.

     "Alright. You don't have to wear it then," he tells me, another layer of kisses being pressed into my cheeks. "I'm going to go set your reminder alarm for your meds and pick something different for you to wear. You sit here and look pretty for me."

     "Yes, Sir."

                     ————————————

     I eagerly wait on my knees by the front door, the sound of Shikamaru's footsteps climbing the porch exciting me even more. I can hear his key entering the keyhole, turning the lock before he opens the door. "Welcome home, Shika!" I cheer, bouncing in my spot on the floor.

     "Hey," he whispers, his hand catching hold of my jaw, shifting my head further back before he bends down to kiss me. "So far, today has been a drag," he mutters, releasing my jaw and leaning against the door, head tilted back and eyes closed.

"I'm sorry," I mutter, eyes locked on Shikamaru as I work his shoes off his feet. "Why has today been a drag?"

I half listen to his explanation, the moral of the story being that Ino is an idiot and won't agree with something Choza and he thinks would be best for our allied clans. My focus is on wrapping myself around his legs, pressing my chest against the imprint of his dick, and wiggling around.

"And... and um..." Shika mutters, his hands quickly finding my hair. "And you're not just a Pretty Girl but a smart one too," he mumbles, one hand tugging me off him and the other one being shoved down his pants.

     Once Shikamaru's dick is free from his pants, he shifts me back in place. I eagerly take him into my mouth, resting my hands on his legs as I suck in his tip. Curses fall from him as he twirls my hair around his fingers, a few praises mixing with the swears.

     Slowly I sink further down his dick, keeping my eyes on him as I take more and more of him into my mouth. When my nose bumps against his torso, I rest for a second, struggling with Shika buried deep down my throat. Tears prickle my eyes as my lungs struggle with the lack of hair, forcing me to shift back down. 

     I repeat the cycle, sliding myself down, waiting until I'm gagging and gasping for air before I pull back again. When he gets close to finishing, I can feel Shikamaru twitch down my throat and his breath gets pitchier. "Fuck, Pretty Girl," he groans, another hissed breath released.

     I'm beaming as I slide back down, resting my nose against his stomach again. My gags mix with his curses, my vision getting blurry from the water in the corner of my eyes and the lack of oxygen circulating in my body. Shikamaru keeps me pressed against his stomach as he finishes down my throat, clinging to the back of my head as his cum spills down my throat.

     When he's finished emptying his balls, I'm tugged backward, head tipped back so Shika can enjoy how I look. My tongue hangs out as I pant, eyesight still blurry as the two of us watch each other catch our breaths.

"You're so good to me," he mutters, raking his fingertips through my hair, letting his hold go gentle. I soak in his praises as I start lapping up the last of his mess. "Such a Pretty Girl for me. So pretty."

I tug my mouth off of him, Shika's dick twitching from the last suck I give his tip. "I hope that makes your day less of a drag."

"It does," he tells me, letting out a few deep breaths. As Shikamaru calms himself down, I toy with him a bit, his sensitive dick twitching every time I run my fingers over it. "That's unpretty of you," he grumbles, snatching my wrist as he sends me a warning look. "Be a Pretty Girl."

"Yes, Sir," I mutter, leaning forward to slide my tongue over his slit.

That gets me a hissed breath and tugged to my feet. "You are on one today, aren't you?" He asks, eyes filled with fake hardness.

"Nope, just missed you. The house is empty without you around."

"Ya, well, the second our wedding is over, your pretty little ass is going to be locked in there," he mutters, pointing toward our bedroom. "Where we'll spend the next week doing nothing but trying to get you pregnant. Then the house won't seem so empty."

Shikamaru's promise sends shivers down my spine, followed by the soft stroke of his fingertips. "But, for now, let me go check on how your chores are going," he mutters, using a finger to tip my chin up, a soft kiss pressed to me before he pulls away. "Be a Pretty Girl and wait on the couch."

I do as I'm told, walking toward the couch and plopping down on it as Shika leaves me to find the list I've left on the counter. He mutters softly to himself, going down the list and checking to make sure I got everything done. "Look at you," he coos from next to the dinner table. "You got your list done."

"You said I could go to the office with you if I got it done," I remind him, waiting intensely for his reaction. "I even made you lunch. It's on a plate in the fridge."

"Did you?" He asks, leaving me again to go check the fridge. The door opens and closes, followed by the sound of him heating his food. "You even ate all your lunch, what a Pretty Girl," Shika praises from the kitchen, his voice a little louder than usual so his voice will carry.

Shikamaru makes his way back to the living room, shoving my knees apart so he can stand between my legs. "So can? Can I go to the office with you?"

He hums a yes, hand clenching my jaw again to force eye contact. "Yes, you can. I do have one question for you though."

"Oh?"

"Did you take your meds and vitamins today?"

Realization quickly rises alongside panic. I did not take my medication today. My alarm went off, like it does every day, but I was in the middle of mopping the floors so I turned it off, and set on taking my meds once I was done. Spoiler, I forgot. "Yes," I say slowly, drawing out the end of the word.

"Oh ya? Is that the answer you're going with?" He asks eyes slit as he looks down at me.

"Yes," I repeat softer, shifting my eyes away from him.

"I'm going to give you one more chance. Then we're going to go check together, and if your meds are still in their little cup, I'm going to beat your ass, and then you can sit under the table, squirming around and making a mess as I eat like unpretty girls get to do. You'll sit there and cum again and again until you're screaming for forgiveness." My legs squeeze around him at the thought of my punishment. "Did you take your medicine today?" Shika repeats the question, saying each word as if it's a sentence of its own.

     "Yes sir," I answer, staring into his eyes, fully prepared for my punishment, that's not really going to be a punishment. I didn't get to finish earlier, so an orgasm or two is owed anyway.

     Shikamaru lets out an airy chuckle, shaking his head at me. "Alright, Spoiled Brat. I'll play along," he mutters, using my hair to tug me to my feet and lead me toward the kitchen.

     I'm settled against the countertop, Shika using his body to push me against it. "This is your medicine cup," he spells out for me, tugging the little cup into the middle of the counter. "Those small circles inside the cup are your meds. If your meds are in the cup, how'd you take them?"

     I squirm around, my movements being difficult from the position I'm in. "So... maybe I lied," I whisper, pussy tingling and heat rising on my face.

     "Ya? You think so?" Shikamaru mocks, lying my head on the counter before letting go of my hair.

Tap, tap. Tap, tap.

     "Pretty girls don't lie, and what did you do?"

     "I lied," I mutter, squirming around as he rubs the aching skin he caused.

Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap.

     "You lied. What an unpretty girl you're being. Behave for once, leave your panties on the counter, and settle under the table."

Tap, tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap, tap.

     Another string of spankings lands on my butt before Shikamaru pulls away from me, clinging to my hair to straighten me up again. My thighs are sticky, panties are already soaked from my punishment. "Spoiled fucking brat," he grumbles, letting me go and walking away.

     I eagerly tug my panties off, leaving them on the counter like I was ordered to before strolling towards the table. I hum in excitement as I settle under it, sitting on my knees as I wait for Shikamaru to return. My pussy tingles when the sound of Shikamaru moving around the house picks up.

"Oh, look at that," he grumbles, poking his head under the table. "You can behave on occasion." Shikamaru sinks to his knees, flipping my skirt up and pushing out a half-assed hum of approval.

I'm almost shaking with accident as he positions my vibrator against my clit. "What a dumb spoiled brat I have," he taunts, turning the vibrator to its highest level from the get-go. "You think this is going to be fun, don't you?"

"Yes, Sir," I answer, my tone chirpy as I enjoy my stimulation.

"Hmm... we'll see about that in a little bit," he mutters, getting up and leaving me alone at - well - under the table.

By the time Shikamaru settles into his chair, me caged between his legs, I'm whining and moaning with the climbing of my orgasm. "Shika," I whimper, clinging to his pants as my climax peaks.

His hand slithers under the table, shoving my soaked panties into my mouth. "Be quiet. I don't feel like listening to a spoiled brat whine and whimper while I eat," he grumbles, his fingers shoving the cloth further into my mouth before he focuses on his lunch again.

     My nails dig into Shikamaru's thighs as my second orgasm quickly grows, the lack of a cool down making it easier to amp up again. When the bend in my stomach breaks again, it's enough to cause my juices to drip onto the floor, the sound echoing in the silent room.

     I crawl up Shikamaru's lap, resting my chin on his chest as I squirm around, trying to get a break from the vibrations being rubbed into my clit. I try whining for him, nails digging into his sides and my noises getting muffled by the cloth in my mouth.

     Shika looks down at me, amusement in his eyes as he watches me wither around. My nails slide down his sides as another orgasm is pulled for me. Instantly, orgasm number four is started, working its way up, prickling my eyes with tears again as my voice rises. More muffled whines for him, a few inaudible sorries spilling from me.

     His hand settles under my chin, a cocky smile crossing his face as I sob and squirm. "Not so excited now, are we? Has your pussy started to tingle with aches? Does it feel like your nerves are on fire?"

     I quickly nod my head yes, clinging to his wrist as my eyes go blurry. Muffled tear filled moans fall from me as I cum again, my juices pulling underneath me more, now soaking my knees in my mess. "Are you done being an unpretty girl?" Again I nod my head, nails digging into Shika's wrist. "There's my Pretty Girl," he coos, tugging my panties out of my mouth.

     A desperate soft yell rips from my throat as my legs shake like crazy. “Please Sir,” I whine, my hands jumping to cling to his shirt. “I’m sorry I lied. I’m so sorry. Please… just make it stop. Sir, please. I’m sorry, Sir. I won’t lie again. Never ever.”

Shikamaru’s eyes light up at my pleas, approving hums falling from his lips as I squirm and beg. “Are you going to take your meds?”

“Yes!” I shriek, my chest pumping in an attempt to stop or at least delay my fifth orgasm. “Sir, please. I can’t.”

“Alright,” he mutters, lifting me to my feet. My knees buckle, legs still shaking as I fall against Shikamaru. He chuckles again, a hand falling to tug my vibrator away and turn it off. “Calm down, Pretty Girl,” Shika coos, his hands gently massaging my thighs. “We’ll get you calmed down and cleaned up, okay? Then I have to go back to the office.”

“I can go too, right? Because… cause I got… I got my chores done,” I babble, now clinging to his shirt collar. “Please?”

“Yes, you can. You can come to the office with me,” he mutters, fingers sliding through my folds, scooping up my mess and making my legs shake more. “I can’t wait until our honeymoon, Pretty Girl. I’m going to make you a complete mess,” Shikamaru mutters, rubbing his cum soaked fingers across my lips before shoving them into my mouth. “A squirming, soaked, pretty mess.”

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[erial-c]

my top ten redacted boys (because i am but a bandwagoner of trends)

1. sam - took me a bit to like him ( haven't even finished his playlist yet) but god his character hurts me, he and darlin have gone through so much shit . the video talking about the future with your vampire mate basically sealed the deal on him being my favorite character, and after reading one of the bright eyes series transcripts, it makes me even more interested in his character . (and his southern accent may or may not have awakened something in me)

2. avior - is it obvious i like tragic characters yet . his series is one of the first ones i've listened to fully, and the chokehold that the plot twist had on me was insane . the realization that he had loved starlight so much that he deus ex machina'd them out of the hellscape, and then was silently YEARNING when they were pulled back . i was sobbing you don't understand officer. also love his early sarcastic personality (despite it being a facade) and his constant need to wax poetic, i wish we still saw a little bit of that in his newer audios though

3. guy - ohh the love of my life . the only comfort character ever . babygirl . he does exude millennial cringe sometimes but i can gloss over all that because i love him  🫶🫶🫶 also love his dynamic with honey they r so cute together . his flashback audio is so good AUGGHH the tension . personal favorite audio of him though is his first sick video , because i am THE guy angst enthusiast and it's the closest i'll ever get to it . he is sooo silly idc i always binge his playlist when i can't sleep (ironically i always listen to the one where he attempts to help honey sleep and it works 🫶)

4. lasko - babygirl #2 🤞🤞🤞 love him he is just an overall sweet character . i've also said this before but, him being labelled early on as submissive irked me because i usually found those character tropes annoying and they tended to be infantilized . but the thing is with lasko its not his entire characterization , he's still a very good professor at the academy and ughhhqhh i know how 2explain it i jst love him (also. his slip up in the hot boi summer audio. he is freaky .)

5. geordi - his and cutie's story is so interesting . i love their storyline so much even if it hurts to listen to the audios . they're both flawed characters in a relationship but they're still taking the necessary steps to be better. additionally, while i definitely don't stand for the shit cutie did, i can relate to them in the sense of needing to know what people are thinking to function properly, which is probably another reason why geordi and his storyline hits so close to my heart . (is that corny. maybe)

6. asher - one of the reasons im in the fandom tbh !! he's one of the first characters i got into, specifically his valenweek flashback audio i ate that shit up . . i don't listen to him that much now but still !!! i owe me being here to his character lol

7. hush - creature/babygirl . i was kinda intimidated to listen to his playlist (for god's sake his title is "mysterious stranger") but ohhhh i love him he is so strange. tying doc up in one video and then asking them to hold his hand a few videos later??? love that . him showing up in carpe deus and fucking wrecking vega kinda sealed it for me . love theorizing about him too, if that's not obvious 🫶

8. porter - when i heard the voice that this character had. i can't even explain to you what my reaction was . he's such a fucking diva i love it so much , this guy is like 80% snark, and he just fucks with vincent for no reason .(when he said he was gonna bring treasure to the summit but didn't 😭) he's also so interesting . while ya he was sent to go to the summit and assassinate a clan king (which he succeeded in) he told sweetheart about the bennets discussing their partnership with closeknit so they could get necessary info, he provided an alibi for vincent, he also stopped grilling sam when darlin told him to . (also his 2nd video with treasure . killed me tbh)

9. marcus - not proud to admit that marcus is the first character i came across on erik's channel . marcus is weirdo number 1 (derogatory) and i just find his storyline so interesting. yeah its sad why he did what he did, but overall he knew what he was doing , he fucked everyone else over, and compromised a project, of which the failure could mean life and death, just because he wanted to get freaky with the robot . his obsession and little impulse control being overrun by the asset's obsession with him. GOD . . the satisfaction i felt when he was taken away 🫶

10. caller - weirdo (compliment) . again as a horror enthusiast i love this guy . he's like ghostface but if ghostface could phase through walls/was already in your house (and also weird and obsessive) . his audio made me have the same reaction when watching horror content : "holy shit i love this but also i hate this" 10/10 . he's only last because he has one (1) video . 💔

honorable mention:

gavin - GAVIN LOVE OF MY LIFFEEEE . i really did wanna put him on my list but i haven't listened to the freelancer series properly yet!!!! this is not a matter of him being my least favorite but rather not knowing much about him in depth yet !!!!

[quailxcrossing]

7, 11, 19, 38- Etcetera! (B, D, or A!)

38, 4, 21, 12- Auï!

6, 1, 13, 28- Ruse!

HIIII PIXEL i am finally sitting to answer these I'M SO EXCITED thank you for the queestions :3

ETCETERA (i'll be doing Before as D/A are under comic revisions!)

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling? For his childhood nostalgia; rubber staircases, the smell of Lysol, floor-length mirrors. he was a theatre/choir kid and even the slightest thing that can remind him of that is nostalgic

11.How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)? Absolutely pretend to understand, or just rolling with it and failing spectacularly. Etcetera misunderstands things a lot; either because he just straight-up wasn't focusing/listening, or something too fancy flew over his head. He'll sometimes ask them to come again with a "what huh?" but if the words are just jibberish again, so he'll try to manage with context clues! (icon by @/krembearry!)

19. What is their favorite number? 22! It's his birthday, he likes how the repetition of an even number feels, and he has a connection with his daughter that has made him like 22 even more

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?  Hard to say! He's got plenty! I wouldn't say Etcetera sits on one thing too much, he rotates through a lot of jumbled thoughts at any given time, he's got a memory that can't remember what he said 5 minutes ago but it will randomly pull up a scene he hasn't thought about in years and he'll be vividly replaying a day from 13 years ago. but he not much of a ruminator!

AUÏ

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?  Auï IS a ruminator. and i know for certain that the memory that he rolls around the most is the one of him leaving home- the one that I made a comic of the second half with Aria! its a much larger scene, with that comic being the tail end of it.

this is the memory that his mind likes to bring up when he is quiet, or whenever he feels so comfortable, or has a moment of clarity that needs to be dampened. he uses this memory to justify his abuse to himself, although he hasn't yet realized this exact moment was a direct infliction of his abuse. i mean to say, like, Auï believes this moment is what started his downward spiral and he deserved it because of that moment - instead of the truth, which is that his spiral and abuse started long before this day, and the reason he acted the way he did was because of it. AUGH

4. How easy is it to earn their trust? its not super easy! it took a while for him to trust Cian and Vega when he first met them, and he's still getting more comfortable with them day-by-day. The only reason he does trust them at all is because Turrie and Goat do, and he completely trusts those two. When they said Cian and Vega were okay, Auï was inclined to believe them. As for outsiders, he doesn't trust most's good intentions, although he would like to be able to, someday.

21. Why do they get up in the morning?  In a literal sense, Auï gets up and out of his room in the morning so Goat can sleep. He'd often want to do nothing more than lay there and rot, but if he sees his roommate is finally sleeping, he will move out of there so he doesn't wake him. the little guy is lucky to get 4 hours a night, he's extremely restless and a very light sleeper. goat desperately needs to take melatonin but he is even more sensitive to taking anything that will change his behavior. augh. ok hold on let me see if i can find an sketch in goat's gallery

goat has no idea lol

12. How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach? also speaking of goat, Auï probably just goes and whines at him. there's soooo many places Auï can't reach, he's the least flexible person on the planet. if goat isn't there, he just suffers- he's too embarrassed to ask anyone else

RUSE yayyyy

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable? Immovable! and she is regularly miserable about that. she is very pessimistic about social change, although she is immensely passionate about it.

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do? not very long!! for her tired disposition, Ruse is quite active, and she likes new adventures and going out to do fun things. she's a party girl!! genuinely!! she likes exciting and social activities, even if she is pretty quiet and shy herself, and she doesn't like being in DANGER- but she doesn't want to just be sitting around! At least, she would like something to look forward to!!!

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color? Ruse believes she looks best in the same colors as herself- black first, and then white, and orange. She is very particular about fashion, and really deeply loves putting together outfits from a variety of hues and styles- so I would be inclined to say she's correct. I do think she looks best in black, white, and orange! i think she looks great in anything though - I also think she looks very nice in navy, to bring out her eyes.

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?  Ruse will always prefer the truth. She thinks lies are ridiculous- they're just a waste of time. What are you supposed to do with a lie? She used to be very strict about this, but is learning that a white lie can be used to placate situations, although she still thinks the truth would be more honorable and useful.

[i-am-cesear]

Listen! You know I am a big Natsuhiko simp. It was normal for me to wonder about his necklace.

I think his necklace is REALLY important. What we know about Natsuhiko's necklace? It is a present from Sakura and it is germanium. He is just so casually says it in here.

I needed to check what is germanium and

1) Why did Sakura gave Natsu a germanium necklace?

Let's start with germanium itself. If I pass the more scientific stuff about germanium, this is what I get so far:

• It is a metalloid in the carbon group that is chemically similar to its group neighbors silicon and tin.

• Germanium is not thought to be an essential element for any living organism. Similar to silicon and aluminium, naturally-occurring germanium compounds tend to be insoluble in water and thus have little oral toxicity. However, synthetic soluble germanium salts are nephrotoxic, and synthetic chemically reactive germanium compounds with halogens and hydrogen are irritants and toxins.

•The major end uses for germanium in 2007, worldwide, were estimated to be: 35% for fiber-optics, 30% infrared optics, 15% polymerization catalysts, and 15% electronics and solar electric applications. The remaining 5% went into such uses as phosphors, metallurgy, and chemotherapy.

•Germanium supplements, made from both organic and inorganic germanium, have been marketed as an alternative medicine capable of treating leukemia and lung cancer.  There is, however, no medical evidence of benefit; some evidence suggests that such supplements are actively harmful.

So. We use germanium more in technology and it is not usually harmfull for people. Wanna know what I decided to search? Germanium necklaces. Just to see if it has any meaning.

I checked the first web-site and I know, I should've search more but I was curious. I searched "germanium necklace benefits" and wanna know what I found out? Apparently, germanium jewelry;

• Increases blood circulation

• Increases metabolism of body cells

• Removes harmful toxins

•Alleviates physical stress, stiffness, cramps or discomfort

• Controls swelling

• Reduces water retention

• Relieves fatigue and tiredness

• Promotes quality sleep

• Slows down aging

• Increases and maintains body warmth

But Cesear, why are they important??

It's because, I am almost sure that Natsuhiko is not wearing his necklace in this panel.

He is not wearing it. He can't. That necklace looks more like a collar than a necklace. For exemple, look here:

And here, now look at his germanium necklace:

That thing is not loose. I don't think he can wear that thing under a shirt that buttoned all the way up and a necktie. Look again. Do you see what I mean?

And in these panels, it is the first time Natsu talks about something that hurts him. He experienced some wild things before with Nene.

He looks scared but totally ok in here.

He looks scared, not in pain.

And he just comes back like nothing happened. These panels was one of the reasons why I thought he was immortal in the first place. He is wearing his necklace in all of them. He looks fine, he looks like his usual self. But in the raws, he looks tired. My friend pointed it out for me that in whole manga, this is the only time Natsu look genuinly tired and also, he mentions himself as a "human."

Maybe it's because he is losing blood but I don't think that much of blood and that much of a time is long enough for him to feel tired. I think he is not wearing his necklace and that necklace is healing him.

But Cesear, what does the necklace healing Natsu from?

Good question.

Before these raws, I thought that Natsu was sick and he was dying. Remember where people use germanium? Don't bother scroll back up, I'll show you again.

• Germanium supplements, made from both organic and inorganic germanium, have been marketed as an alternative medicine capable of treating leukemia and lung cancer.

But now that we have the raws, I know what the necklace heal Natsu from.

I think it is healing him from his own blood.

We now know that Natsuhiko is immortal (like I was saying for months now) because of a rumour that Sakura released but Natsu is not entirely supernatural. His blood causes the supernatural things to break down, it is toxic for them.

And if Natsu is at least somewhat immortal, that means that his blood might be toxic for him as well. He is also immortal. Which might put Natsu in a circle; his own blood keep hurting and killing him inside while his immortality forces him to live. It must be painful, he feels pain. He says that either cutting his palm or his blood hurts so he feels it. He can't be useful like that. So, how are we going to fix it?

By giving him a healing necklace which is also believed that helps with aging process.

So. Now you know why I found that necklace really important.

[voidscape-o]

I met a new cookie few weeks ago. They are but a child, but I uderstand now how cookies are made.

They were brought by a bird, so I conclude every dough baby is brought by a bird to their parent, that's also why there are so many single parents.

Cookies grow up way faster that any other kind I saw, Starlight Cookie (I got to name them :]) is only a year old and they are already the size and mind of a 5 year-old.

Cookies also take upon appearance of a cookie they spend the most time with, so it is important for their caretaker or parent to spend as much time with them as possible. They are not a clone, of course, they do have slight differences in their appearance, like Dark Cacao and Dark Choco fot example.

Starlight Cookie started taking interest in space and stars.

Even though I named them "Starlight", their taste must be lemon and not actual starlight. They had light lemon hair when I first saw them, but when we were introduced to each other, their hair was already white, similar to Cream Ferret Cookie. If they spend more time with me or any space cookie, will their hair change again? When do they stop changing and keep their appearance?

Cookies of the kingdom were kind enough to let us stay in one of the empty houses. We are lucky that I could manifest furniture or else we'd be sleeping on the floor.

Both Stars (Dust and Light) and Cream Ferret helped swipe the floor and clean windows, while I put the furniture around the house.

It's fun to be around Starlight, I get to talk about Universe to them and they listen with stars in their eyes. Stardust likes listening to my stories too. Sometimes, he shares his own. But if it wasn't for Cream Ferret... I am not made to be a parent or caretaker.

I can't wait to see what Starlight grows up to be, who they grow up to be, and it probably will take only 3 more years.

And if I can't wait for that long, I will just peek into the planet's story.

Do you like my little observation? ( ￣ ▽ ￣)

I have one more drawing

Star and his shadow

Now there are two of them because there is never too much Stardust ( •̀ ω •́ )

I also have a speedpaint (. ~ ᴗ ~.)

[autisticempathydaemon]

hello everynyan :3 /ref

4 the redacted match-ups ! not sure if you're still doing these or not bc i'll be damned i'd give up after the first 3 🙌🙌🙌 power 2 ya ! (if you ARE, in fact, not doing these anymore pls ignore this. this never happened. kay.)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

this was the hardest question bc i LOVEEMUSIC so bad i can never really pick ONE fav bc it changes every 2 seconds but !!! gun to my head as of rn i'd say -- "but not kiss" - faye webster

'i want to see you in my dreams,

but then forget.

we're meant to be,

but not yet.

you're all that i have,

but can't get.'

i chose this song primarily because of the aesthetics & instrumental,, + the feels - i love how the piano carries and portrays every feeling (dread? maybe?) alongside the vocalist ugh sick to my stomach /pos

as for the verses i've chosen i just. really like the way she sings them HA i guess depending on my current mood i might relate to the lyrics for .5 seconds due to a past relationship of mine that had me fuckedd anyway.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

i WISH i could enjoy these as much as others but i have the attention spam of a fucking goldfish i need to be stimulated 24/7. i cannot stare at the same face and occasional photo/clip for over 10 mins.

i might watch more of em if they had like a satisfying slime video in the corner or smth. i find i only watch ones that have a topic/interest of mine that i am actively curious about/into????if that makes sense??

for instance, the only one that comes to mind rn is "in defense of chat noir" by toon ruins UGH ITS SO GOOD i used to be a huge fan of miraculous so that defffinitely takes part in why i rewatch it every few months.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

on my stomach. arms under pillows. one leg up. yo i bought these headphones made specifically for sleeping while listening to relaxing noises or smth & i kid you not i use them shits to listen to asmr/rp audios. sometimes it puts me to sleep other times i'm up all night tryna figure out what position the listener and 'character' are in. anyway!!!

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

first thing that comes 2 mindd for whatever reason is 'may' ?? possibly bc i really like my birth name already and 'may' is somewhat close to it already? also because i'd love writing it over and over in my handwriting . probably just an excuse to write the letter 'y' actually.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

fav character changes ALLL THE TIMEE for no reason my fav is all of them rlly i just wanna love and be loved BUT when i reaaaally think about it ?? hudson. even though he's like. an easter egg. i cant have anything. wanna "D D D D DDDJJJ ANXIETY" into his pants. what. who said that. just got hacked wtff

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

a know a LOTT of ppl love david but i am sorry i just cannot. angel better than me idk how they do it. srry. my momma raised a bitch. i've never ever gotten to finishing any of his videos so maybe im the problem but from the get-go THIS BITCH IS SCARY BRO he's so damn intimidating . the fact that his voice is rlly deep doesn't help either :C ..& don't even get me started on early david.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

this is such a good question rlly makin me think . hmm . OK I FEEL LIKE A BASIC BlTCH BC PPL HAVE BEEN SAYIN THIS ALREADY BUT . hux. we like this 🤞 . as for why?? i feel like i need and would . honestly really appreciate more,, warmth and positivity in my life - and i def get that sorta 'aura' from him. & i know damn well he'd give the best hugs. and we could go to the gym together. it'd be so fun. so precious.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

ok first of all #relationshipgoals that is so sweet awe :((

i wouldn't say i really 'ramble' per say -- i just talk. to myself. like a normal person. mhm. i struggle with sleep in general, so i'm usually up till like 5am. typically endlessly scrolling through my phone, or talking to the abyss about something personal that's been on my mind for a while. if it's really bad, i cry in my voice memos. if i just need to - refresh? get smth off my mind so i can sleep? i write songs.

...and then i record them on my $15 wireless headphones. onto that very same voice memos app.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

if im being honest,, depends on my mood . but god could i fuck up some strawberry milk and mini oreos right about now. . mind you i've had strawberry milk like once but it changed my life u dont understand

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

i mean i don't listen to it 24/7 but man i outdid myself w this one. it's called "insanity" and every single song matches the vibe of . just straight up 'otherworldly' ?? if u catching what im throwin?? all songs r pretty 'out-there' - in terms of the vibes - at least i like to think so. for reference it has songs like "goth - sidewalks and skeletons" and "eternal youth - růde" . IDK i guess it makes me happy when songs from a playlist actually match up with one other

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

i listen to this japanese-kawaii-metal-based group called BABYMETAL and i loveee them soso much. a few "metal enthusiasts" go out and call their work 'not real metal' , which is why i guess you can technically call their music a pleasure media -- as well as the fact that whenever i put on one of their songs mfs r like ... what is this - cause its three young japanese girls talking abt bubblegum with the the most insane guitar riff in the back. their newer stuff is incredible. womanhood at it's finest. give them a shot plspls /nf

ALL DONE !! ty 4 reading & have a lovely day/night, wherever you may be <3

Oh, this one is perfect and required, like, no thought. Vibes-wise? Given your energy? It’s just gotta be Guy.

Building on that, I love that you write songs and he writes screenplays(?). I think it’s so cute to pair writers together so that you might inspire one another and be each other's biggest fans. I also like Guy for you because he strikes me as one of those people who calls themselves “polyjamorous”, listening to basically anything and everything. He loves all your songs and all your playlists, vibing along to all of it even if there’s no words or words in another language. He doesn’t care: he’s with you, so he’s having a good time.

I would predict a fun, artistic life for the two of you like parallel-playing co-writing sessions with the two of you having individual headphones on, making funny faces at one another when you catch the other staring. You take turns showing each what you’ve created and hyping each other up, offering critique. When the writer's clock keeps y’all up till 3 AM, he’s got leftover pizza and any snacks you could possibly want. (He strikes me as the sort of guy who always has junk food caches.)

Song:

It was just two lovers/ Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde/ Fallin' for each other/ Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish/ No Donald Glover/ Missed call from my mother/ Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi/ I was all alone with the love of my life

Given your passion for music, I tried to pick a love song for y’all that was emotionally evocative to the mind and the ear. I chose this one because I thought the piano instrumental and how it evokes that mental imagery of sitting with someone during the golden hour might resonate with you. I also like it for y’all because this song got really popular on tiktok, and Guy would probably know it from there.

Runner-ups:

Obviously, we have to have Hudson as a runner-up. As a DJ, he’d be so loving and so supportive of your craft, hyping you up on air all the time and playing your work whenever he can. He’d also make you really bomb-ass playlists. A less obvious runner-up would be Anton, but I really like this one. You’d be more of an opposites attract sort of pair, but I think it’d be cute, and listening to music would remind Anton of you while he’s away~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[majortomwaits]

hi petra! genuine question. what's so great about the american friend (1977) and why do you love that post so much? you're great btw

Oh my god, listen, I could talk about it for days and I am working on a whole thinkpiece on it paired with Mikey And Nicky (1976) because those two are the two sides of the same coin to me. But The American Friend in particular is just ahhhhhh, so I first watched it in 2020 and I didn't think about it that much, I found it neat, well made, well acted, but I've watched it like 5 times since then and it is honestly mindblowing to me at this point.

Like the post itself? It fucks, Nick @csny said it all in so few words that it's insane. That's really the dynamic of the scene. Just two guys on the train with a specific energy when it comes to their connection killing a guy together. Sex.

As per the movie as a whole, I'll go into some details under the cut

It's everything. Like yeah, it's an adaptation of a novel that was adapted once more, in 2002 and I watched it and it simply didn't compare. It was just a perfect moment in time for The American Friend to be created. And I can't settle on my favourite scene, to be honest, it comes down to the scene in Paris metro, aka just the perfect, long, tense since with absolutely no dialogue, the train scene and the scene towards the end when Jonathan and Tom giggle in the darkness aka 'I'm thinking about you all the time' scene which is the perfect encapsulation of what friendship really is. Sometimes it is just giggling innthe dark together. Wim Wenders himself did say that he introduced changes due to the friendship between Bruno Ganz and Dennis Hopper that developed after their initial dislike for each other.

And listen, I've read the novel mere days ago, there are some reasonable changes that work greatly. In the case of the film, Wenders made it work as a standalone film rather than an adaptation of the third novel in the series. And not just that, he incorporated some elements from the second book as well! And he did it seamlessly. It's a good, strong thriller that also serves as a study of one friendship. And it's gorgeous, it's even fun and it just hits that spot for me, you know?

Like I could go into whole character studies and how Jonathan is literally a man sentenced to death due to his illness and how Tom might as well be dead due to how miserably lonely he is all the time, and yet, at this perfect moment in time, their connection ends up bringing both of them back to life in order to take someone else's life so that Jonathan's family could have something after he inevitably dies.

I did lose a lot of sleep because of this movie, not only because a couple months ago I stayed up until 6 AM making that I Pity The Poor Immigrant edit, but also just thinking about it and how it all lines up and I still feel like I have a lot of thinking to do, but this is all I have for now.