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discount-shades · 1 year

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Contract Spouse Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Realizations

A/N: This is a sad one. I've written Chapter 9 and only one chapter left to write!

Pairing: Jake Seresin/Reader (nicknamed Pip)

Warning: Angst, death of civilians, war, PTSD

Length: 3000ish

Summary: Jake does some thinking and we find out why he is like that.

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“What we need are those veterinary gloves that come up to your shoulder.” You have a roll of tape out and combined with elastics and a small garbage bag you are trying to waterproof Jake’s cast. After finally being released from the hospital after 4 days, Jake is in desperate need of a shower. “Then you could use your hand. I’m going to order some from Amazon.”

“Why do vets need gloves that come up to their shoulder?” Jake watches you struggle to carefully tape the edges of the bag to the skin of his arm, fighting with the extra plastic.

“You know the long gloves Ellie wears when she digs in the dino poop looking for West Indian Lilac in Jurassic Park?” Jake blinks at you in confusion, trying to remember. “Vets wear them for a similar reason.”

“Eww.” Jake checks the seal around the tape job you did. “How do you even know that?”

“Remember when I dated a farm boy in university?” Jake nods. He remembers thinking the kid wasn’t good enough for you. “Well in those two months we were together I went and helped them when they preg checked their cows.” You give him a little half grin, “I learned I am not cut out for farm life.”

You start the shower for him before carefully helping him remove his shirt. You wince when you see the bruises crossing his torso from the seatbelt harness of his jet. The brush of your fingers, featherlight over the bruises, burns before you abruptly leave the bathroom, telling him to call if he needs help.

Jake sighs and finishes stripping before getting under the spray. Everything hurts and the concussion makes him feel like he is in a fog. His head is a constant dull throb and what he really wants to do is lie down and sleep some more. He holds his left arm hand up at a right angle and does his best to shower mostly one handed.

Pulling a shirt on seems too difficult so he walks into the bedroom half dressed. You've pulled the curtains, so it is dark and he collapses into the clean sheets. A water bottle and his painkillers lined up neatly on his end table, as well as a few protein bars.

You’ve thought of everything, you always do, but you seem different since the accident and he can’t figure it out. Every time he tries to think his head begins to ache. You are more clinical, less warm. Maybe it is because he is injured, maybe he is imagining it.

He thinks back to the morning of the crash. Remembers waking up with you in his arms, how good it felt to hold you and talk to you. The hospital had been so lonely when they wouldn’t let you stay overnight.

He wanted you to stay in California. He wanted to come home and have you there to talk to, he could always call you before, but living with you was better. He loved watching movies together, cooking together, cleaning, and grocery shopping. Every mundane task was better with you.

He couldn’t ask you to stay. He was too much of a mess. He couldn’t sleep and the guilt of what happened was always there. You didn’t deserve to be pulled into that. He was sure that you would stay if he asked. You and your misguided sense of duty and the belief that you owed him something. But if he asked then he would have to tell you and if he told you you would never look at him the same way.

He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he notices is your voice calling to him gently. His eyes flitter open and he can see you sitting on the edge of the bed. You are beautiful in the light filtering from the hall, and in that moment you take his breath away. “Doctor says you should be up and moving, so come have dinner.”

When you go to leave he curls his good hand around your arm and revels in the feel of your soft skin sliding through his fingers. When he thinks you are about to slip your hand through his fingers you catch his palm and give a gentle tug and he feels himself following you automatically.

“This can’t be what you are used to.” You say with a grin as you grab a shirt and help him into it. “Women are probably more keen to take your shirt off.”

“I’ll do anything if it's with you, pretty girl.” The words leave his lips before he can comprehend what he has said. Your sharp inhale makes him want to kick himself. Why did he say that? He never flirted with you. It was a line he refused to cross.

He can see the flustered look on your face as you stand to go. “Come on flyboy, you must be hard up if you are flirting with me.” He follows you down the hall to the table. That wasn’t completely fair. Why wouldn't he flirt with you? If you weren't his wife he definitely would have tried to pick you up in a bar.

That evening as you lie down beside him in bed you turn to him. “We have our first meeting with the couples therapist tomorrow, he wants to meet us separately first.” Jake had forgotten about the marriage counseling. “I think we should just say we want to keep our relationship strong, and I don't know, talk about how adjusting to living together is a challenge or something.” He just mumbles an agreement.

Jake has no idea how the two of you are going to sell being married to a professional. He thinks of all the ways this might go as you slowly drift off to sleep beside him. Once he can hear your steady breathing his mind starts to slow and as he falls asleep he rolls over so he is curled around you.

When he wakes the next morning he slides his arm across the bed feeling for your warmth but the sheets are cool. You are already gone. When he gets up he finds you making omelets in the kitchen.

“The contractor is going to be finishing up the repairs in the ceiling of my room today,” you tell him as you add the cheese. “You will have your bed back, free of my cold toes tonight.”

“Oh, ok.” Jake doesn't know what to think and it takes him a moment to realize he is disappointed. Last night was the last time he would sleep with you in his arms. He thinks about all the times he left you in the mornings. He shouldn't have run away. He could have just rolled back to his side of the bed and talked to you on those mornings, now he would never get the option.

You drive to the counselor’s and he spends his time in the passenger seat fighting his motion sickness. It's your turn first and you give him a worried look as you go, as he sits in the waiting room trying to get his head to stop spinning. If he says something wrong in the counselor's office he will just blame it on the concussion.

When it is his turn you squeeze his hand as you trade spots. He can't help himself as he pulls you into a hug. Jake presses his lips to your hairline. He should hug you more, he thinks.

You rarely initiate physical affection more than holding hands, and hug only on special occasions. He likes the feel of you in his arms, the scent of your shampoo, and the warmth of your skin. The way you melt into him is overwhelming before you pull away.

The session went well. A mixture of the truth and agreed upon lies slip easily off his tongue. At the end of the session Jake is given the same homework that you received.

“I want you to come up with a list of all the reasons you are in love with your wife.”

The homework is a fixture in his mind over the next few days. Jake can’t figure out why he keeps repeating the counselor's words in his head. He lists the reasons he loves you. You are smart, funny, tough as hell, your kindness, you are supportive, you are so easy to talk to and you always know what to say, you call him on his bullshit. You are capable.

He stares at the words he has written and feels they are not personal enough to sell it. You are beautiful, your smile makes his stomach clench, your laughter, you feel so good in his arms, how you being in his life made everything better. He stares at his list as the words play over in his head, ‘reasons you are in love with your wife.’

Jake drops the pen and buries his face in his hands as the realization hits him. “Fuck.” He is in love with you. When did that happen? Was it before you moved in or is it a recent thing? Sometime during the first or second year of the marriage he noticed he loved you. But it had always felt so platonic, a love of friendship, of convenience, and connection.

You have always been beautiful, and, if he was honest with himself, he had always been attracted to you, but with the nature of your relationship he had always locked those thoughts and feelings away. You were untouchable. But in the last month with you sleeping in his bed everything blurred. It didn’t matter when he fell in love, the only thing that mattered was that he is completely and irrevocably in love with you now.

It is weird to feel terrible about an emotion considered so positive. Jake stares at the closed door to the office where you are working from home. He can never tell you. You had only stayed married due to his inability to process his trauma.

He felt tainted, like you being with him would somehow mark you too. He didn't deserve you, he didn’t deserve anything good. And he loved you too much to let you be ruined by him. He wouldn't let you give up your life and the love you deserve. Because you need someone who is in love with you unconditionally, someone good.

The day he had agreed to marry you had told him that you would always be there for him and he had taken advantage of that over the years. Taken advantage of your kindness and good heart. Someone as good and kind as you would never stay married to him. He could never tell you he loved you. He wouldn’t be that guy, the man who thought he was owed something just because he had feelings for a woman. He would let you go even if it killed him.

– – –

Sleeping next to you didn’t stop the nightmares. They always came at the same frequency, mild ones a few times a week and the bad ones every week or so. What sleeping next to you did was calm him when he woke. Your breaths and the warmth of your skin would ground his mind and bring him back to the present like nothing else could.

Before you he would never get back to sleep after a nightmare. He would go for a run or go to the 24h gym. He sometimes would mindlessly watch tv or stare at his phone until it was an acceptable hour to get up. In the weeks after the concussion he couldn’t do that. Strenuous activity and screen time were two of the things the doctor told him to avoid.

Most nights he would just lay in bed. He had tried audio books but he could not focus on them. So he would lie there in the dark thinking about you, and everything that he loved about you, and torturing himself.

His post concussion nightmares were more intense than any he had before but he still hadn't had a bad one yet. He could feel it coming. Lack of sleep and anxiety tended to trigger the nightmares. Stress also played a role and the night before the second marriage counseling session it hit him.

Jake’s heart is pounding as he sits up in bed struggling to breath. The nightmares are rarely the same and his mind alway finds ways for his dreams to be somehow worse than what had happened, combining events and reimagining others.

You died tonight. The person he had killed was you, and even though he logically knew you were fine he needed to check on you. Stumbling, eyes bleary, he walks to your room and pushes open the door. The smell of new paint and construction is almost gone. Leaning on the door frame Jake can see you sleeping and he takes in the sight.

If he holds his breath and listens he can faintly hear you breathing from the doorway and he can’t help the muffled sob that slips past his lips. You stir and he bites his lips to keep from waking you but it is too late.

“Jake?” You lean up and look at him. “You ok?” he gives a jerky nod, unable to open his mouth. Afraid he would begin sobbing if he did. “Another nightmare?” He doesn’t know how you can tell. Maybe it is written on his face.

“Come here,” your voice is soft and you open your arms and beckon to him and he is moving his feet before he can think about it. Jake collapses on top of the covers and into your arms, head pillowed on your chest listening to your heartbeat. His eyes flutter closed as you rake your fingers through his hair and down his back. Your gentle movements calm him and steady his mind but soon it is not enough. There are too many layers between you.

He sits up and motions to the covers. “Can I?” he asks hesitantly, wanting to be able to hold you without the blanket between you. You nod and he slips beneath the covers and returns to his position with his head on your chest. Your hands resume their motions carding through his hair and stroking his back.

It’s still not enough. He sits abruptly and takes his shirt off before lying back down, slotting his body between your thighs and his head on your stomach this time. He needs to feel your skin pressed against his. He eases your shirt up so he can rest his cheek against your stomach. He can hear your sharp inhale but you don't say anything and for that he is grateful. You just go back to smoothing your hands over his bare skin. He doesn’t know how long he lays there with you beneath him, his hands curl around your rib cage as his thumbs smooth over your soft skin.

After a while of your hands moving over him he feels you pause. “If you want to talk about it, I’ll listen.” He shakes his head in denial, not wanting you to know. But when he feels your nails scratch his scalp and drag down his neck he starts talking.

“You know the military severely under-reports civilian deaths, right?” There is no change in you. Your hands keep moving in the same rhythm and your breathing is steady. “Every time we drop bombs we kill people and there is a chance we kill civilians. Mostly we don’t think about it. It is easier to drink the kool-aid. Accept the Navy’s narrative. But if you watch the news from other countries they will report it; show videos of civilians killed by American bombs.”

Jake stops talking, wanting you to respond, hoping you don’t. Looking for a clue to stop talking. You don’t give him one so he continues. “I shot another plane down, the first air-to-air kill in three decades. The Navy pinned a medal on me.'' Now that he was talking he couldn’t stop. The words he had never spoken to anyone pouring out. “No one mentioned that after I shot the jet it crashed into this community building. There were families inside. Sixteen people were killed, nine of them were children.

“They gave me a fucking medal for killing children. I saw the footage, the crashed jet and the injured people. There was this man carrying his dead son and I can’t get that out of my head.” Jake feels you shift and he raises his head to look at you but all you do is place a gentle kiss on his forehead before lying back down and resuming your motions.

“Please hate me.” He doesn't know why he says it; why he needs you to condemn him. As if your condemnation will justify everything he feels.

“No,” you say simply.

“Why not?” he can feel a sob building in his chest. “I fucking deserve it. How can you just learn all that about me and not care?”

“Javy told me years ago,” you confess, “actually I suspected. It was on the news that an American Navy pilot shot down a plane and what happened, I knew you were stationed in the area and you changed whenever we talked after, so I figured it was you and Javy confirmed it when I asked.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Jake had been keeping his knowledge and shame bottled up away from you for so long; not wanting to change the way you saw him and to find out you had always known was gutting.

“I knew you would tell me when you were ready.”

“You should hate me,” Jake hates the way he sounds. Small, meek, hesitant. “I hate me.”

“I hate that it happened. It breaks my heart for those families, but I can’t hate you for it. You are responsible, but not culpable.” You say simply.

“Then who is to blame if not me?” You don’t have an answer for him, he knows there isn’t one, at least not an answer that will make him feel better. Some things you just have to live with. The tears start to flow down Jake's cheeks in ugly sobs as you pull him closer. He clings to you and finally lets himself grieve.

#jake hangman seresin #jake hangman x reader #jake seresin/reader #jake seresin x reader #hangman #hangman/reader #top gun hangman #top gun fanfiction #top gun x reader #topgun maverick #jake seresin

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thetravelingtyper · 6 months

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Our Shattered Heart Interlude (Part 2.75) JM (GN! 'Heart' Reader x Taskforce 141)

Loading Track 3 - Electric Feel by MGMT (Johnny Soap MacTavish One Shot) - After returning from base you and Soap decide to take the night to go out...

Warning: Possible OOC, Suggestive Content, fluff, Possessive Soap

Part 2.50, Part 3.00 Masterlist

Our Shattered Heart 2.75 Interlude John MacTavish (...Loading Track 3…)- Electric Feel by MGMT

The bar was bustling under the star-lit sky. You pulled a tipsy Johnny along with you as you basked in the chill. You pulled further into Simon’s jacket, catching the smell of his cologne. You were perfectly sober while Johnny had a few beers. You had returned later in the day from base with the Sergeants giving you smirks.

“You finally got the Captain.” Kyle smiles at you brightly. He’s radiant as you bring the bouquet in.

“These are from a Corporal-” The flowers are taken from you by a scoffing Johnny, you give him a look and he grumbles, setting the flowers down a little heavily. He then proceeds to wrap himself around you, pressing a kiss to your temple, then peppering kisses all over your face while you giggle and push against him. He doesn't budge.

“Let us get you flowers hen.”

You laugh lightly, running a hand up and down Soap’s firm arm as he spins you around,

“She’s married Johnny, Down boy,” he muttered something Scottish before kissing you firmly. You return the energy, parting when you're out of breath. Soap keeps you bundled in his arms.

“Let's go out hen.” He murmurs it in your ear. You return with a ‘sure’ and a smile. You look to Kyle in question but he just waves you guys off.

“You two go have fun, I’ll get my turn.”

And with that and preparation you both set off into the late afternoon.

All along the Western front

People line up to receive

She got the power in her hand

To shock you like you won't believe

Saw her in the Amazon

With the voltage running through her skin

Standing there with nothing on

She gonna teach me how to swim

You grab Johnny's hand and tug him into the bar, eyes searching and to your pleasure finding the singer. He notices you during a verse and shoots you a smile that widens when he sees Johnny’s hand in yours.

He continues singing while you pull Soap to the bar and sit down. He settles on a barstool and instead of letting you sit, he pulls you to his lap, chin settling on your shoulder. You sigh but the bartender just smiles and laughs.

“He’s like a puppy. I saw the other night.” You look to them, finding a younger red-headed woman in her mid to late 20s. You just nod to her and order a drink. You get something a little fruity and sweet and settle into Johnny’s lap as his arms wrap around you. You chat with the bartender in the meantime, before your name is called and the singer approaches.

I said, "ooh, girl

Shock me like an electric eel

Baby girl

Turn me on with your electric feel"

I said, "ooh girl

Shock me like an electric eel

Baby girl

Turn me on with your electric feel"

Your eyes light up at the man and you go to stand and greet him but Johnny’s arms tighten. You murmur to him but he just shakes his head stubbornly.

“Johnny.” You say it more sternly and he turns to you with stormy eyes, pupils dilated from the alcohol and feelings. The bartender turns to the singer then Johnny, then laughs.

“Don’t worry lad,” she says good-naturedly as the singer approaches and pecks her on the lips. Your eyes widen before you turn to her.

“Good for you two! Happy now, Johnny?”

The man grumbles again but lets you up. You give the singer a swift hug before you take the stool next to Soap and begin to chat. During conversations on the local area and their relationship Johnny’s hand seeks you in constant contact that makes your heart feel like putty. He was always an affectionate drunk but after the kiss, he practically glued himself to you and the others. If he wasn't next to Simon or bickering with Kyle, the Scot usually had a hand on your arm or shoulder and a smoldering look to anyone other than the 141 that approached you. The hour passed quickly, nearing 10 o'clock when the singer needed to return to the stage. There was a clamor at the entrance and a call of your name again as the girls entered. Your face lit up and you look at Johnny with an eager smile. His eyes are clear as he sips some of your drink, seeming to have sobered up some. He lets you go and you look at the girls with a few cheers.

They look at you and Soap and one whistles with a laugh and you blush while Soap gives them a cocky grin, pressing a kiss to your cheek and then lightly pushing you towards them. They accept you with open arms and you all go to dance.

All along the Eastern shore

Put your circuits in the sea

This is what the world is for

Making electricity

You can feel it in your mind

Oh, you can do it all the time

Plug it in, change the world

You are my electric girl

If anyone liked watching you dance the most it was Johnny. He was an energetic person, and unlike Price and Simon, he thrived in a club environment. Seeing your eyes light up and moving with the crowd was a treat. You swirled and bobbed, moving amongst the waves. A period passed as the bar got more busy when someone took the seat beside him. He doesn’t notice until there is a hand on his arm. He turns in his stool to find an attractive person, green eyes burn into his.

“Hey handsome.” their voice is smooth as they ask Johnny his name. He shuffles back out of their touch and replies with a simple John before he looks back to you. Green eyes follow this but they question your sergeant who replies politely to each. He wants to go and join you but you seem to be having fun. Time passes as he and the stranger make a sort of conversation as you dance, all the while Johnny sends you looks but he doesn’t want to leave your spot or your drink unattended.

About 20 minutes in his patience is tested when, while laughing the stranger sets their hand on his knee. He jerks away with sharp eyes.

“I am here with someone.” He says it politely but firmly. It's said during a break of songs and one of your girlfriends at the edge of the crowd catches it and Soap’s discomfort. She gets you as things suddenly escalate.

Driven either by alcohol or pure whim the stranger pulls Soap in for a kiss just as you break from the crowd. Seeing it you freeze, a chill running through you before a hot-headed anger and possessive feeling coils in your gut. Johnny immediately pushes against the stranger and stands. You practically materialize at his side. The stranger is not expecting this and hikes it out of the bar at the glowering look you shoot them. You turn to Johnny riled up. He wipes his lips and downs the rest of your drink in disgust. But seeing your darkened eyes he smirks.

“I'm all yours hen.” He cheekily adds,

“Though they were fine.”

You hiss at this and tug the man away from the bar, a smile growing on his face as you pull him out of the bar and into a side alley. Johnny smiles at you but his eyes are dark with arousal as you pull him in for a possessive kiss, chasing away the taste of the stranger. He does you one better spinning and pinning you against the wall as your lips dance together. His heart pounds in his chest, never thinking he’d see you crack but the role reversal was doing things to him. You pull away only for Johnny to latch his lips to your ear, nipping then stringing kisses down your neck like starbursts.

“That was so hot hen.” it was breaths as the scent of both you and Simon drove him insane. He pulls the neckline of your shirt down and neck to the chain of your dog tags he sucks and bites leaving a mark. You arch against him but he just rolls his hip against you. You try to move for some friction but his thigh comes between your legs. He coos as you whine,

“Sweet, I want te ravish ye.” His accent is thick as he pulls you back to him and about drags you along. When you reach the flat, he tears the door open and about flings you inside, closing and locking the door behind him. He then turns to you with maelstrom eyes igniting a fire in the pit of your stomach. Having heard the noise Simon and Kyle pop out of Kyle's room, having been finishing work. They both freeze seeing your heaving form littered with marks.

I said, "ooh, girl

Shock me like an electric eel

Baby girl

Turn me on with your electric feel"

I said, "ooh girl

Shock me like an electric eel

Baby girl

Turn me on with your electric feel"

Simon sees his jacket skewed on you and curses with a groan. You and Johnny are in a standoff, looking that if you even move he’ll pounce. You look between Simon and Kyle, both sets of dark eyes on you, watching, waiting. You're feeling hot as Johnny begins to slack forward, shoulders set and confident. His hair has grown out giving him a wild look and the few buttons of his shirt are open showing a smooth collarbone next to his dog tags. You almost want to run, to give into the chase but you stand your ground as he starts backing you towards the table. Kyle and Simon just watch as Johnny then corners you against the table.

He stares at you, hands reaching to touch your thigh and trace up your body. They soon fist into Simon's jacket and yank you forward to him in another kiss.

Plush lips mix with your own before you find his tongue delving into your mouth and you moan into the kiss. Johnny growls parting before hiking your legs up and setting you on the table.

“You are mine.” he hisses into your ear, something triggered in his mind, your hands shoot to his hair and you pull it in a way that has him hissing and breaking up the kiss.

“Fucking Hell you two, away where but there.” Simon finally steps in and Johnny quirks at the older man's eyes, pupils dilated and breathing coming out a little staggered. Johnny takes the chance and pulls you up, holding you against him easily as you yelp in surprise.

“Johnny!” Your voice is breathless before he nips your lips.

“That's my name sweetheart, don’ wear it out, Unless you're screaming it.” Your eyes shoot open and he gives you a sultry smile before chuckling into your neck. You narrow your eyes and then dipping your head bite a mark to match the one he gave you. He hisses, hands clenching you harder. Kyle laughs, something breathless as he approaches you.

“Good to know you bite back baby, showing Johnny what for. The filthy mouth of his.”

Johnny laughs then, the moment catching his heart racing and he lets you down but not before a final cheeky kiss. You part with half-lidded eyes and set your forehead against Johnny, you whisper to him.

“I love you.”

His heart stutters, warmth gripping his chest as he stares into your eyes,

“Aye, I love too, hen.”

Do what you feel now

Electric feel now

Do what you feel now

Electric feel now

Do what you feel now

Electric feel now

Do what you feel now

Electric feel now

Do what you feel now

Electric feel now

End Track - Taglist:

@ghostlythots, @00ops1e, @rafaelacallinybbay, @iloveslasher, @character---obsessed

, @ashy-kit, @fruitymoonbeams-blog, @my-amazing-nerdyness, @star-struck-universe, @br0ken-rec0rds,

@buckysjuicyplums, @cod-z

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angel-gidget · 3 months

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Gidge's Guide to Amethyst

I did one of these a while back, but with reeaallly low-quality images. These days, there’s more Amethyst stuff out there, and that’s worth an update in its own right.

Amy’s first appearance was technically in Legion of Super-Heroes #298 which featured a “pull-out preview comic” to entice people into picking up the maxi-series. I’ve yet to get my mitts on it to confirm if it’s just sample art from the maxi-series, or has dialogue/art never seen anywhere else. Regardless, your best starting point is probably gonna be…

I. 1980’s 12-issue Maxi-Series (+ follow-up Annual)

High jump-through-portal fantasy. Fantastic creatures, creepy villains, magical royalty, intricate world building that explains some things and lets your brain fill in the gaps for others, and consistently gorgeous art. Can’t recommend enough.

The annual shown takes place after the maxi-series and sets the stage for the ongoing series that follows.

Get it by Patron methods: Dc Universe Series Page DC’s Showcase via Amazon or Abe Books (Note: no color art for showcase, only black & white)

Get it by Peasant methods: Over here. 💎

II. 1980’s 16-issue Ongoing Series (+ follow-up Annual)

While there is a lot of fantastic stuff going on with the ongoing series, it is more of a mixed bag.

While I am forever in love with cover of issue #11, I remember turning to page 1 and wondering what the heck happened to the inside art. It’s not bad, really. It just doesn’t meet the high bar of the covers (or earlier interiors). Looking back, I realized the art was getting less detailed well before that, but my reading was all over the place as a kid bc I’d just read whatever issues I could find.

This here, at issue #12, is actually a good place to stop. By which I mean, the next 4 issues + special reek of grimdark edge-lord bs that doesn’t even make sense without reading Crisis on Infinite Earths. However, if you wish to proceed…

The final issue of the ongoing is technically a cliffhanger, and the Special grants the writers the extra pages they need to finish wrapping up their whole Lords of Order & Chaos/Dr. Fate tie-in.

After this, someone in DC editorial raised their pencil and went “Hey! What if we made the Gemworld the origin for one of our Legion of Super-Heroes villains?” And thus…

Get it by Patron methods: Dc Universe Series Page DC’s Showcase via Amazon or Abe Books (Note: no color art for showcase, only black & white) (Also note: Showcase contains both Maxi and Ongoing series)

Get it by Peasant methods: Over here. ⚔️

III. 1980’s 4-issue Mini-Series

This thing is all kinds of whack, but it is gorgeous. I get the impression that when Kieth Giffen and Mindy Newell were assigned this sucker, they just read a summary of the OG series and winged it.

Probably not, since they technically wrote those final issues of the ongoing, but that’s how it feels. Despite this, it’s grown on me like a fungus, and the mind-blowing art by Esteban Moroto is, like, 98% of the reason why.

Amethyst is always at her weirdest when Dc is trying to tie her in with the rest of the DCU. In this case, the mini is supposed to explain how a Legion of Super-Heroes villain has origins that go back to the Gemworld. Why? Idk. But if I remember correctly, it was even part of the advertising for this series.

Get it by Patron methods: … you can’t. There are no re-prints of any kind and it’s tough to track down. If ye crave this treasure, best ye look to piracy, matey.

Get it by Peasant methods: Over here. 🔮

IV. 2012’s DC Nation Amethyst Cartoon Shorts

In hindsight, these may have been made as the advent of the Sword of Sorcery series, but they really were a charming sip of water after two decades of nothin’. A cute lil’ standalone series that turns the Gemworld into a video game. Amy is then, of course, sucked into it.

Fun fact: the producer, @briannedrouhard is on tumblr, and often posts art and further ideas she had for the series.

Watch it: Full Series is officially free on Youtube. 👸🏼

IV. 2013’s Sword of Sorcery: Amethyst

This New 52 eight-issue (9 included the ‘0’ issue, oy) series got my hopes up after all those years, but I gotta admit I was a bit disappointed by the completely new supporting cast. Apart from Amy herself, none of the original characters made it into the series.

It feels likely a completely different fantasy series with an “Amethyst” label slapped on it. That said, Aaron Lopresti’s art is beautiful, and this version of Amy—Amaya—eventually joined the New 52’s Justice League Dark and picked up a bit of a cult appreciation over there.

That said, I’ve had some spoilers for her time on JLDark, and the storyline is just a bit… too… dark for my tastes. So I’m quite content to see her nu52 series retconed, even though I did nearly collect all 9 issues.

Get it by Patron methods: Dc Universe Series Page TPB via Amazon or B&N

Get it by Peasant methods: Over here. 💜

V. 2019’s Wonder Comics - Young Justice: Gemworld

Remember how I said Amethyst always gets weird when she collides with the greater DCU? Yeah, forget I said that. Never mind. Most brilliant combo idea since peanut butter and jelly.

No, I’m not biased not at all bc I’m a big Young Justice fan. Nope. Ok. Maybe a lil’ bit. While the continuity here is it’s own thing, there are a lot of nods to the original Gemworld in the world-building.

Does this series fully explore the potential of all the ideas in it? Frankly, no. YJ fans complained a lot about the lack of breathing space in this series for a reason. But I’m still happy with it and happily re-reading it for the fun ideas it slaps together.

If you are reading this for the Amethyst, however, there isn’t much point in reading past issue 6, aka volume 1 of the trade. After that point, Amy stops getting much spotlight, though she remains on the team’s roster until the series’ end.

Get it by Patron methods: Dc Universe Series Page TPB via Amazon or B&N

Get it by Peasant methods: Over here. ✨

VI. 2020’s Wonder Comics - Amethyst Miniseries

The fact that both this series and the YJ one appear under the “Wonder Comics” label is a bit misleading. They do not share any continuity at all. However, the opening splash page of the first issue references multiple events from original Amethyst continuity!

Later world-building details make it clear that this is a different version of Amy and the Gemworld, but Amy Reeder’s affection for the original series remains apparent.

Get it by Patron methods: Dc Universe Series Page TPB via Amazon or B&N

Get it by Peasant methods: Over here. 👑

VII. 2021’s Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld by Shannon & Dean Hale

This one is actually a kid-oriented graphic novel. Again, with its own continuity and world-building. I think the thing that stands out to me the most about this take is that the Hales give Amy a kid brother and make him quite relevant to the plot.

It’s pretty stand-alone and not really marketed as a comic book per se, but it is charming and the art is quite cute.

Get it by Patron methods: Graphic novel via Amazon or B&N Get it by Peasant methods: Over here.

🏰

In Summary:

“Original” Amethyst Continuity (by Dan Mishkin & Gary Cohn and later Kieth Giffen & Mindy Newell ) is contained in Volumes 1-3. This is made of up the Maxi-series, Ongoing, and Mini-series from the 80's.

New52 Sword of Sorcery Continuity (by Christy Marx) is completely separate and self-contained.

Wonder Comics: Young Justice continuity (by Brian Michael-Bendis) is separate and self-contained, but has many nods to original continuity in it.

Wonder Comics: Amethyst mini-series continuity (by Amy Reeder) is mostly separate and self-contained, but implies that it shares events with the Volume 1 maxi-series.

Kid-friendly properties like Brianne Drouhard’s DC Nation shorts or Shannon and Dean Hale’s graphic novel make for fun additions, though they were not marketed as though they might tie in with any comics.

#dc comics #amethyst princess of gemworld #amy winston #princess amethyst #amethyst #comics #comic book art #gidgeblog #gidgegraphic #gidgeguide

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dangerpronebuddie · 23 days

Text

Tease Tidbit Tuesday!!

Haven't been tagged today, but I'm doing it anyway because I really like what I've written 😊. Taking a break from Make Me Write (I have maybe... 12 left to answer and I'll probably be doing it again tomorrow, we'll see) to share a little bit of the time loop fic!:

Buck strides into the gym, glancing into the locker room. Eddie laughs at whatever Tommy says over the phone, his nose scrunching. Buck picks up some extra weight as he scowls in Eddie's direction. He hasn't seen Eddie laugh like that in ages. He shoves the weight onto the bar as Eddie's grin somehow widens. Look over here. Stop talking to Tommy and look over here. If he can just get Eddie away from Tommy, Buck might actually have a chance. The reminder that Tommy seemed more excited to hang out with Eddie still stings. But it's only because Tommy knows Eddie better. Buck sits down with a grunt, still watching Eddie. Something's gotta give! He's got at least thirty pounds more than usual on the bar, and Eddie never lets him work out without a spot. Even if Eddie can't do it himself, he keeps an eye on Buck while Chim or Ravi or Hen help him out. But he still keeps talking to Tommy! What could they possibly have to say at this point? They've been joined at the hip for weeks, surely the novelty is wearing off. Buck lies back and starts his set with a loud grunt. He takes another peek into the locker room. Eddie's blushing. Fuck. “Hey, Buck, you need a spot?” Ravi asks, stepping in front of Buck’s view. “Nope,” Buck grits out. “I'm good.” Truth be told, if he adds another five pounds, he's liable to pull something. Eddie knows his usual weight. Eddie reminds him not to push too far. Buck sets the bar back on the rest and sits up, frowning at Eddie. Not like he notices. “Got a package here for Evan Buckley?” Buck hops to his feet at the sight of the Amazon prime guy and takes his package. Finally! Eddie leaves the locker room just as Buck tears the box open. This'll do the trick.

(tags under the cut! As always please let me know if you want to be added/ removed):

@lover-of-mine @tizniz @loveyouanyway @daffi-990 @kitteneddiediaz

@ronordmann @steadfastsaturnsrings @inell @exhuastedpigeon @hippolotamus

@thekristen999 @monsterrae1 @diazheartsbuckley @wildlife4life @misshiss727

@rainbow-nerdss @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @lunarspark-cos @idealuk @shipperqueen6 @slowlyfoggydestiny @eddiesfagstache

@lin27 @jshadow01 @orangeboxfox92 @thegeekcompanion @emilybahu @lemotmo @awolfnamed-nyx

@kaseysgirl86-blog @darkrose6578 @totallynotagoraphobic @dandelioncasey @bibuckbuckgoose @whatsgoodinthehood22

@lady-elaine @buckley-diaz-rules @buddiedaydreamer911 @monroemary @pirate-hunter @snowviolettwhite @hermoineindisguise @tidesreach

@nonspeakingkiku @eddiedisasterdiaz @drunkandsupportiveeddie @epicbuddieficrecs @disasterbuck

@gnoeltop @keynb @cassi-brooks @-syrup-sue @punkrock00 @shannonhutchins @aroqueerfandoms @unlifeira @marissaleec @kissyboytroye

@lyricfulloflight @charlzie-ghost @hypersensitivitywitch @kindlingtotheflames @wallywise @zerokrox-blog and anyone else who wants to share!! 🥰🩷

#911 #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 abc #fanfic #9-1-1 #buddie wip #maggie writes #time loop fic #fic: everything comes out teenage petulance #tease tidbit tuesday

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chloessleepystories · 1 year

Text

Chocolate Fog

Mind control, Drugged, Male/Female, Male Dominant

This was sparked by a patron's three-word prompt: Airplane. Eyes. Chocolate.

***

The setting sun was glaring through the little airplane window, so Amber, squinting, lowered the shade halfway. She was a pretty white girl in her early 20s, blonde, with a thin sweater stretched over generous breasts. Her seatmate had noticed them – noticed her beauty – but hadn't been creepy about it, and she appreciated that. They were only an hour into their 4-hour flight, and she didn't want to feel creeped out the whole time.

He seemed like a gentleman. Older man, with dusky skin and a trim white beard. Dr Suresh or something like that, he'd said, with just a hint of an accent, as he'd smiled and exchanged pleasantries before takeoff. She got a warm feeling from him – partly from his nice smile, partly from his rich, deep, soothing voice, but mostly from his eyes – they sparkled with warmth and mischief, and there seemed to be golden flecks in those kindly, chocolate-brown eyes.

The snacks and drinks trolley was coming down the aisle. She found she was really looking forward to that little packet of peanuts. She pulled down the little tray, moving her paperback to the empty seat beside her. How fun air travel was! And how cool that the flight wasn't fully booked, so she had room to spread out. Dr Suresh had spread out too – he'd laid a small case on the seat between them when he first sat down. So that was nice – a shared space, but also a buffer.

She ordered her peanuts and a Diet Coke from the nice stewardess.

"There you go. And for you, sir?"

"A scotch and soda, please. Neat."

"That's all?"

"That is all. Thank you. Oh – a blanket, perhaps, when you have the chance."

Amber leaned over, once the stewardess had moved on. "No peanuts? I think the peanuts are my favorite part. For some reason, peanuts on a plane just taste better than peanuts anywhere else!"

He chuckled in his throat, as she giggled. "This is true. Perhaps someone should do a study as to why. Me, I do not need them, for I bring my own snacks." He patted the small sample case between them. "The finest chocolate bars no one has heard of – yet. New, from my company."

"Wait – you make chocolate?? That's awesome! What are you, Willy Wonka?" He laughed again at her little joke. She liked his laugh. "Wait a second, I thought you said earlier you were a scientist?"

"This is indeed true. I am a scientist," he said, and his eyes twinkled. "There is a lot of science that goes into making good candy. Did you know this?"

He was already opening the case, so she decided he didn't mind talking about it. "So what's special about it?"

The bars were packaged more like an extra thick Hershey bar than a Snickers or 3 Musketeers – a dark-brown sleeve around a foil wrapper. The sleeve said "Chocolate Fog."

"Our chocolate is made from a very special bean just recently discovered deep in the Amazon rainforest," he said in his rich, melodic voice. "Its flavor is unlike any other kind of chocolate previously tasted outside of Peru. In our labs, it goes through a special process designed to enhance its unique properties, until we arrive at what I believe is the best chocolate bar ever created."

He peeled open one end of one bar to show it was segmented. He broke off a chunk and held it out. "You will have a taste, and you will agree, yes?"

Well, how could she refuse free chocolate? She popped the thick square in her mouth, and her eyes lit up at the explosion of taste on her tongue. "Mmmm! It's so rich, and ... nutty? But also there's a softness, like ... almost a little nougat in there?"

"That is what gives it its ‘fog,' I believe," he murmured. "That airy quality."

"It's amazing!" she said, and drooled a little speaking around a mouthful of chocolate. "Could I ... Could I have a little more?"

"You may have the whole bar, dear lady," he said, and the golden flecks in his eyes sparkled as he smiled. "I have plenty more ..."

Half an hour later, the plane interior was much darker. The sun had finished setting, and people were dozing, or watching movies with their headphones. Only a few overhead pinpoint lights lit up the interior gloom.

Amber had a tummy full of chocolate. She'd finished the bar in a surprisingly short time, and had been allowed to devour a second too. Now, she leaned back in her seat, feeling the gentle rocking of the plane and hearing its dull roar, and feeling ... lulled. Lulled into a repose.

Lull, lull, lull. What a funny word, she thought. Lol. Lull. Lulllllled ...

She looked over at Dr Suresh, with a dopey smile and lidded, glazed eyes. "Thasss so good ..." she whispered. "Bess chocklit ever ... It makes me, like, happy ..."

The chocolate taste coated the inside of her mouth. It felt like was coating her brain, too, which was sluggish. Thoughts were moving slowly through the rich, chocolatey fog in her head.

"I am very glad to hear that," said her seatmate. "You look like you are enjoying it thoroughly."

He raised his armrest and, moving his sample case and the blanket he'd gotten from the stewardess, slid into the seat beside her.

"I am always interested in learning more about the special properties of these special beans. So I do enjoy finding more test subjects. Tell me – and please be honest, this is for posterity – how do you feel?"

She giggled, quietly. "I feel ssoooo goooood ..." she whispered. "Like, rosy! Like no worries, no stress, all the tension I was feeling in my body that I didn't even know I was carrying, has melted away! Like every cell in my body has gone on a happy lil vacation!!!"

"Well, that does sound delightful," he said, making a few notes on a small pad.

"Whadid you ssay was in there?"

"A mild sedative to slow the limbs, dopamines and opioids that produce a gentle euphoria, similar to being pleasantly intoxicated. Some components of the bean that inhibit activity in the prefrontal cortex and make you highly suggestible, that we have ... enhanced. And of course some pretty damn good chocolate."

He smiled, and his teeth seemed to shine in the dim light of the plane interior. She could see his eyes glittering, almost like a cat's.

"... Huhh?" she slurred. There was a bit of chocolate-brown drool at one corner of her mouth. She seemed to be having trouble focusing on him.

"Now," he went on. "Here's my question. I know the chocolate makes you happy. Makes you dopey. And it sometimes can be addictive. What I don't know is ..." And he leaned closer. "Does the chocolate make you horny?"

She blinked, and focused a little bit, looking deeply into his eyes. "H-horny?"

"Yes. You can feel it now, can't you? You can feel the rich, melting pleasure coursing through you, from your tongue up to your brain, and down through your whole body ... Melting away your inhibitions, covering your objections with flavor and pleasure." She was captivated by his eyes, dancing and sparkling. She hardly had to listen to his words. "The chocolate fog fills your whole body, making your nipples erect, yes? Your tummy tingle. Your arms and legs are like lead, heavy with the weight of their happiness, and your pussy ... oh, your pussy is singing, and buzzing, drinking in the rich, chocolatey heat. It's getting so aroused, so needy. Why, if you think about it – and it is hard to think, isn't it? – but if you think about it, you can feel your whole body, and all your mind, melting into your needy, foggy pussy. If only you could lift your arms, you would be desperate to pinch your nipples. Desperate to rub your clit. As it is, you can't help but squeeze your thighs together, around that heat, that aching need ... Isn't that right? You're squeezing right now, aren't you?"

She couldn't look away from his eyes. She could barely blink. Her eyes were watering. She nodded. Her whole body was consumed with hunger – no longer for chocolate, but for sex. For carnal pleasure. For cock. Yes! She needed to be filled with cock! That's what she craved now!!

She whimpered, quietly, in that dozing, dark plane filled with unknowing passengers, staring into the eyes of her kindly seatmate.

He moved the blanket over her lap without breaking eye contact, and pressed his hand into her crotch under its cover. He raised her skirt and stroked a finger along the moist heat of her panties-covered mound. She moaned and twitched, her mouth falling open, staring into his eyes.

"Please ..." she whispered. "Please, I'm so horny ..."

"My only question," he said, smiling directly into her eyes, "is whether you would have gotten so horny if I hadn't suggested it. Did I implant that thought into your suggestible brain? Or does the chocolate actually make you horny by itself?"

He moved her panties aside, and stuck a finger deep into her wetness. Her eyes filled silently with gratitude, already dreaming how she wanted to spend the whole weekend with him, letting his fingers and his cock and his chocolate do everything he wanted to with her.

"Every time, I tell myself I'm going to just wait and see," he went on, stroking her sex, already bringing her close to her first mind-breaking orgasm. "I won't say a word, just observe. But every time ... well ... I can't help it. I tell you how good your body feels. And it does."

She grasped his strong arm in both her little hands, and gasped in ecstasy, trying to be as quiet as possible and mostly succeeding.

"Six times now, and every time, I ruin the experiment. I just can't stop talking! It is a failing. I am a bad scientist."

He grinned.

"But you forgive me ... Don't you?"

And his eyes sparkled.

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laylasmoonchild · 1 year

Text

“Are You Okay?”

Sam Kiszka × Reader NSFW 18+

Author's Note:

I have no idea what l'm doing or what possessed me to write this... That's partially a lie- There's no Sam Fics out there, and this is compiled of some requests l've had/Requests l've seen on other blogs. This is loosely inspired by Daisy Jones & The Six (The Amazon series, not the book, the book was better though hehe), Basically when Camilla was seeking out attention during a rough patch with Billy. I'm Layla, let me know what ya think, or don't. Just be nice! Sorry if there's typos, this took me hours to write on 2 separate nights, l'm not an amazing writer, just out here trying new things!

Summary:

Sammy's girlfriend (Y/N) is under the impression he is cheating on her and not only gets drunk to mask her feelings, but seeks comfort in Jake... Yup, it's messy, folks. Also, there's sex, read the warnings!

WARNINGS:

Angst, Topics of Cheating, Arguing W/ a S.O., NSFW, Sex, Spit Kink (this is a common request on Sammy blogs, if you're not into it, close your eyes or keep it pushing! my page is a no judge zone!), Unprotected Sex (Wrap it up, or don't, it’s not my business… prob wrap it up though.)

Word Count: 7,149

——————————————————————————

I was looking out the window of the plane that was taking me to God knows where. All I knew was that I was on my way to the love of my life.

Sam’s been on tour for a few months, and honestly, I’ve been starting to feel a distance. I’m assuming it’s more on my end, I’m working a high stress job while trying to make my art my main one. Sam’s understanding of it and I think it’s time I show him just how much I appreciate that of him.

As the plane is landing, I start to write out a text to Jake, who’s going through a major rough patch with his girlfriend. Sam mentioned they were on a break, but I won’t pry, I just want to tell him to let Sam know that I’ll be at the hotel in about an hour…

“Hey! Could you let Sam know I decided on taking an uber? I think his phone’s dead, I’ll be at the hotel in an hour!”

“I haven’t seen him since last night, but I’m sure I’ll run into him, be careful, sweet girl…♥️”

Sweet girl… Jake’s nickname for me since we first met… He always said I was too sweet for Sam.

As I gathered my bags from baggage claim and made my way outside to my Uber, I started thinking about how Jake mentioned he hasn’t seen Sam since last night… I never think about Sam’s whereabouts, I know most girls would be itching to know what their traveling, rockstar boyfriend was up to, but he’s never given me an inkling of a feeling that the rumors about guys on the road and his past were true. And I was far too busy career wise to think into those thoughts.

But I’d be lying if I said the reason I was tapping my foot in the backseat of this Uber wasn’t because I was starting to believe it.

————————————————————————

I got the keycard from concierge and made my way to Sam’s room. For some reason, I couldn’t stop thinking that the distance I’ve noticed wasn’t just me, and maybe he wasn’t as trustworthy as I thought…

I shook away my thoughts while the elevator chimed it’s arrival on his floor. I walked out, luggage trailing behind me, and anxiously speed walking to his door. Suddenly I was picturing the scene behind that door. A Penny Lane wannabe enthralled with him between the sheets, while he tells her I’m the last thing on his mind. What was wrong with me? I knocked on it, holding my breath.

I heard rustling behind the door, and feet lazily lugging themselves across the floor. It swung open, and there he was.

“Hey,” He pulled me in for a half hug, out of breath, hair a mess. He smelled like the floor of a dive bar.

“Hi, baby” I entered the room, it was in decent condition considering he’s been here for at least two nights.

“Room looks clean…” I huffed as I released my bag from my hand in the small walkway.

Sam looked around, yawning a bit while running his hand through his tendrils.

“Yeah, I guess- Haven’t really slept in here.”

I tried to ignore the pit in my stomach, telling myself not to read into it as I kicked my shoes off.

“Crashed at Danny’s or something?” I asked, trying to remind myself that he has 3 other rooms to end up in if he pleases…

I tried to look for his eyes as he sat on the foot of the bed. He looked guilty. This wasn’t in my head anymore. Suddenly my extremities went cold.

“Sam?” I said, firmer than usual. My chest was rising and falling at this point.

“What?” He practically spat at me. He looked at me like he’d been found out. His eyes blinking with a dullness behind them that felt inhuman.

“Sam… Where were you last night?”

“Y/N…” He held his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes.

“Sam. Answer me.” I felt tears beginning to sting my eyes.

“Y/N, I was at Danny’s, okay?” He stood up now with his arms open in defense.

“Look, I’m hung over, I really don’t want to be questioned by my girlfriend right now.” He walked past me to make it to the bathroom. As I turned to watch him slam the door.

Sam was the most attentive man in my life. Never leaving me when I’m upset, always letting me cry it out to him and absorbing every word I had to say.

Instead, he started the shower.

A few tears made their way out as I unpacked my outfit for tonight, feeling stupid as I pulled out each piece that I was so excited to wear for him. A cream colored, see through, lace dress with a slit up the leg, dark brown cowboy boots and a dark brown slip to wear underneath it.

I continued laying everything out when I saw something peeking out from underneath the duvet. Assuming it was one of Sam’s shirts, I pulled it, with the intention of folding it and placing it to the side. Except it wasn’t his shirt. It was distinctively a woman’s blouse. Orange chiffon, staring back at me. I stared back at it in my hands for a second. Hoping it would disappear from my hands and maybe I would wake up from a dream. Suddenly, I had no tears, my throat was too dry to speak.

He stepped out of the bathroom in a towel and I shoved the damned piece of fabric into my luggage. His eyes were softer now.

“Love,” he called out softly.

I nodded, eye’s fixated on his. He walked towards me, he took my waist into his hands and pulled me close to him.

He brought one hand to the valley between my jaw and neck, resting his thumb on my cheek.

“Y/N, I love you, I just had a rough night. I’m so happy you’re here, I’m sorry okay?” He looked me dead in my eyes, and something about that made my stomach turn. He’s lying to me, while looking into my eyes.

“Okay.” Was all I could manage. I felt a sense of serenity, or extreme numbness. He looked puzzled, looking for the rest of what I could say on my face.

“You love me, right?” Sam said, matching the hand that was on my waist to the one on my face.

“Of course,” I smiled, insincerely. “I have to shower now.” I motioned my head towards the bathroom door.

He leaned into kiss me, I moved my head slightly to where he could only kiss the corner of my mouth.

“I feel gross from the plane, sorry.” I said acting like everything was fine. He nodded and let me go.

————————————————————————

After my shower, I immediately started getting ready. It was all so robotic.

Sam knocked on the door to let me know he’d be going to the venue for soundcheck, which he’d been late for. I put my hairdryer on to drown him out mid speech. I heard the hotel door shut, and my phone lit up on the counter.

“Baby doll I left for soundcheck, I don’t know if you heard me♥️ See me before the show like you do?”

I “thumbs’d up” his text and continued my hair and makeup.

While doing my makeup, I suddenly felt thirsty. I opted for every alcoholic nip in the mini fridge.

————————————————————————

I finished getting ready and Ubered to the venue. I drunkenly vowed to myself that Sam will not make a fool out of me. If he was going to realize what I was being short about, it will be on MY terms. Not his, and most certainly not on my emotion’s terms. The alcohol has numbed every emotion, and I was thanking the heavens for that.

While I got into the building and was escorted backstage, all I could think about was another drink.

Entering the green room, I made a beeline for the bar cart while everyone mingled and were making the last touches to their outfits. Danny, Sam and Josh were gathered around the tour manager while Jake was off to the side, looking rather uninterested.

I poured myself a drink and sent my happy-fake smiles to the tour crew as they passed by, cheerful to see me. As I sipped my concoction of liquor, I began to feel disgusted with them too, knowing they could smile at me while they probably know of Sam’s girl on the side and smiled the same way at her.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, as I turned around, I was met with the soulful eyes I so dearly loved. It was Jake. Who reeked of rum. It broke my heart that we were drinking for similar reasons.

“Hey, my sweet girl!” He pulled me in for a hug, squeezing me extra tight and letting his hand linger on the small of my back as he positioned himself to the side of me. A classic Kiszka hug. The kind of hug that makes girls wonder if it’s flirtatious but it’s really just their loving nature.

I beamed for the first time all day. Jake and I were the kind of close where we didn’t need to speak all the time to keep the friendship alive. We often found ourselves on late nights after shows talking about everything while everyone was off to sleep. As I look into his eyes, I’m realizing he might know me more than Sam does.

In my drunken state, I didn’t realize my smile faded till his eyebrow became crooked.

“Are you okay?” Was all he said, my extremities went cold once more like they did earlier.

“I-“ I felt an arm snake around my waist and someone kiss my cheek from behind. I knew who it was.

“Baby doll, come with me before I go on, talk to Jake later” Sam said, all too normal.

I smiled weakly at Jake and he gave me a concerned look. He must’ve made eye contact with Sam because his concerned look quickly became a forced, tight lipped smile. And with that, he caught up with the rest of everyone, who waved at me, unaware of the situation at hand.

Sam led me down a dark walk way, the route that takes them to the stage. The opening act was on and I could feel the bass in my chest.

We stopped walking and Sam pulled me in for a kiss. I barely kissed back, uninterested in his lips on mine… Knowing they were on God knows who’s the night earlier.

“Y/N, kiss me,” He said running his hands up my sides then to my neck, pulling me in again.

“Sam, I’m not in the mood.” I slurred.

“Y/N, I told you I’m sorry for before. I still am.”

His eyes were looking through me at this point.

“Sam, this isn’t about you, okay? Really, it’s okay!” I amazed myself with how natural it was to pretend that I didn’t find another woman’s article of clothing in his hotel room. I grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him. He began to melt into me, pushing his tongue into my mouth.

I faintly heard the opener end their set, they would be getting off on the opposite side of the stage so I wasn’t worried about stopping him. Even if I didn’t want to kiss him right now, a part of me wanted to make him think I was okay before his show.

“I love you so much-“ He said in between kisses. I kept thinking of him talking like this to another woman. It made me sick. I pulled away. Staring at him plainly. His eyes were dull with lust and confusion.

The boys started walking towards us, getting ready to go on stage. I turn to them and smile.

“Good luck tonight,” I blew them a kiss and smiled while they said their thanks and blew kisses back. Jake watched me intently as I started to walk backstage, not daring to turn around and look at Sam.

“Hey,” Jake grabbed my hand.

I turn back to him and look for his eyes, that are fixated on my hand, and work up to my face.

“Sweet girl’s on my side tonight, yeah?” He winked with a grin. His thumb rubbed my hand, all of this making me blush. This gesture was more comforting than flirting.

“Of course.” I said, bashfully.

Jake smiled once more, and I looked back towards Sam. His face was stone cold at the interaction.

————————————————————————

The concert was amazing as always. Jake made it a point to wink in my direction and blow me a few kisses during their set, all of which Sam saw.

I was still, naturally, upset. Drinking as much as I could, stumbling in the crowd a bit. I was trying to blend in with the stands but of course some of the fans recognized me, I’m embarrassed to admit I was probably too incoherent to hold any sort of conversation with them.

We were now at an after party backstage, celebrating the tour or something, I could barely tell in my inebriated state.

Sam was on his phone, frantically typing and trying to stay focused on the conversations around him. I assumed that was her on the other end of the text screen. He put his arm around me while Danny and their roadie went on about an equipment mishap. Before Sam could reply to the phone vibrating in his pocket, I turned to glance at the tour crew & opening band dancing in the middle of the room. Jake was on the other side of the dancing bunch and caught eyes with me.

“I’m gonna dance-“ I said while breaking free of Sam, who said something in return but I couldn’t hear him over the music. I walked through the moving bodies and put my hand out to Jake, who took a good swig of his drink and slammed the glass on the table beside him. He took my hand and pulled me into what felt like the music itself engulfing me. We danced, innocently. Singing the lyrics to each other as we swapped dancing partners and laughing gleefully like little kids. I felt someone grab my wrist.

“Gonna save a dance for me, right, little girl?” Sam husked into my ear.

Feeling incredibly prideful and cocky, I danced with him, and as he leaned into me, I moved my mouth to his ear.

“Tell that little slut to get her cheap shirt before tour’s over.” I said in a tone only he could hear. Sam’s grip on me loosened.

“Y/N,” His face was pale, and his feet were suddenly glued to the floor. I kept dancing.

He reached his arms out for me when I started dancing too far from him and he pulled himself into me.

“You’re not going to make a fool out of me, Sam. I’ll play stupid for everyone around us right now, but trust that I won’t let you continue this. I’m not going to be the other woman in my own relationship.” I said still quietly but snidely.

“Listen to me, Y/N,” Sam said as he tried to pull me out of all the dancing, swiftly and without causing suspicion.

“Good idea, I need air.” I said, walking towards the tunnel that lead to the parking lot.

“Even better, I’ll come with.” He said following behind.

“No, stay! Please, enjoy yourself!” I said in a tone where he knew I was sarcastic but people around us would assume I was genuine if they overheard us.

Jake came up between us and put an arm out to distance Sam.

“I’ll go with her, don’t worry!” I couldn’t tell if Jake realized what was happening or if he really thought he was just helping ease Sam by following his drunk girlfriend who needed to get air in a sketchy parking lot.

Either way, I locked arms with him and smiled.

“Thaaaank you! Enjoy yourself, Sam.”

Sam’s eyes started to get glassy. Those around us would probably assume it was from weed or the alcohol, but he was on the verge of tears. His face was hard, stoic as he watched his brother whisk me away.

————————————————————————

We made it outside. Surprisingly no one was around, just the empty trailers, cars, and tour buses.

I started running to the middle of the lot & began spinning with my arms stretched out, basking in the cool air. I heard footsteps coming towards me, increasing speed.

Jake ran up to bear hug me, I yelped.

“You’re too drunk to go exploring, let’s go closer to the building, Y/N!” he laughed as he pulled me towards the brick wall. I tried to protest but I was too weak and he was too strong.

We reached the wall and I turned to him. There was that concerned expression again. It made me shiver.

Jake started to take off his jacket, he laid it gently on my shoulders.

“Better?” He asked. I’m assuming he thought my slight shiver was from being cold, considering my outfit choice, but the truth is that my blood is boiling from anger and alcohol, I can’t feel a thing.

I nodded and gave him a tight lipped smile.

“Are you okay? And answer me this time. You drank like a sailor, and you don’t do that.” He waited for me to respond. Suddenly I was too scared to speak again, like my voice wasn’t going to be strong enough to carry these feelings into solid words.

“Are you okay?” He repeated.

I teared up, flicking away the single tear that dropped on my cheek. I ran my fingers through my hair, pulling it out of my face, taking a deep breath.

“I’m fine.” I said, knowing he wouldn’t believe me.

“You know I know that isn’t true.” He said, leaning closer to my face. I smelled the dark rum on his breath.

“How do you know that?” I said sarcastically as a few more tears left my eyes. He got closer.

“You know things are pretty much over in my relationship… I know the signs.” Jake’s lips stayed parted and his eyes focused on my mouth.

I steadied my back against the wall, backing away. He moved closer again.

“How long has it been going on?” I asked him, scared to hear the answer.

“Hm?” He seemed genuinely confused.

“Sam and some girl…” I said quietly.

“What gir-… Wait, he’s sleeping with her?” With that, the tears flowed more. He pulled me into him and left he sob.

“Let it out, Y/N, I’m so sorry, I had no idea. I can’t believe he did this to you. None of us wanted her around but he said he was just trying to help.”

He was rubbing my back, and suddenly, I was not only devastated, but curious. Who was this girl and why was he trying to help her?

I brought my head up to ask these circling questions and Jake looked at me with his tender eyes.

In this moment I felt like Jake was looking at me in a way that only women he’s been to bed with have experienced. I felt frozen, I was nervous that I was so low I’d dig myself deeper, even when I wouldn’t want to stoop to Sam’s level. I looked down, avoiding Jake’s eyes.

“I’d never do that- to you,” Jake said, letting out an awkward and breathy laugh, an attempt to lighten the meaning of his words.

I nodded, still looking down. This can’t be happening right now. I started thinking about how Jake would taste on my lips… His rum mixed with my liquor… I physically shook my head to attempt to metaphorically shake these thoughts in my head.

Jake’s single finger lifted my chin to look into his eyes. His other arm lifted, planting his hand on the wall.

“Wanna get out of here?” Was all he said.

Like clockwork, my phone started vibrating. Text after text, and the night was too quiet to ignore it. Jake waited for an answer, trying not to look down where my phone was located, inside the calf of my boot.

My face was plain, not able to answer him. Saved by the bell, his phone in his jacket pocket started ringing, I reached for it and saw Sam’s contact photo. I handed it to Jake, an attempt to make him get his finger off my chin.

He sighed, then muted it and put it into his back pocket. My phone continued to vibrate. Jake looked into my eyes once more. It felt like he was trying to subconsciously communicate that he could take me away from it all, and take care of me, even if it was for the night.

“Jake,” was all I could let out before he leaned his face, inches from mine.

“You’re my sweet girl, you know that?” He said looking at my lips. I’m not sure why, but I nodded, looking up at him.

“I love him though. No matter what.” My eyes watery.

“I know, I’d never ask you to change what’s in your nature,” He paused. Taking my hand into his. He brought it to his mouth, giving my knuckles a light kiss, staring into my eyes as he did this. “It just breaks my heart that you’re so loyal to someone who was entertaining someone else, even if it’s my baby brother.”

Suddenly, the curiosity was getting the best of me. Who was this girl?

“Jake, just tell me who she is.” I took my hand out of his and rested both hands on his chest. Practically pleading and trying to change the subject away from his earlier question. Surprisingly, he let me.

“You know that ex girl of Sam’s? James’ girlfriend’s best friend?” He adjusted his jacket that was falling off my shoulder.

James was one of the openers who has opened for the guys every couple of legs of their tour. His girlfriend introduced Sam to his ex girlfriend, they dated for awhile. I was told through the grapevine that she would get into Sam’s head, make him choose between her and his tasks for the band… When he finally left her, he knew he would see her again on tour, but always made it a point to let me know that it wouldn’t be by his choice. She’d be there with James’ girlfriend and he didn’t really have much to say to her, so he would just avoid her.

My stomach was in knots. Thinking of him with her again. Someone he was so badly hurt by is who he chose to break my trust with. It’d hurt less if it were someone new. I lightly sobbed, moving my hands from Jake’s chest to around his neck. Hugging him tightly, he held me.

“Jake, how could he?” I looked up, trying to find the answers for Sam’s infidelity on his older brother’s face. He gave me the kind of look that told me he didn’t know what to say.

I sniffled, trying to collect myself. I thought about Jake’s previous offer. Getting out of here… with him. As we looked at each other, I knew that he knew what was going through my head. Us, going wherever he had in mind, and losing ourselves in each other.

If anyone saw us, they would think they were interrupting, and maybe they would be, but I wouldn’t dare move till he did.

“Let me take care of you.” He said, each word laced with lust, his hands were underneath the jacket he leant me, and on my waist.

I let out air through my nose, furrowing my eyebrows and frowning my lips. In a way that said “We can’t do this, I still love him.” without saying it.

We must’ve been lost in this moment because I didn’t hear the footsteps coming from the entrance of the tunnel that led to the parking lot. Until I did.

Jake and I both turned our heads to see one of the tour bus drivers. He awkwardly smiled at us and went to start the bus.

We let out a sigh of relief, knowing that if anyone else saw us, or God forbid Sam, we would be dead.

“Now or never.” He said, pulling my face to look at his. I quickly nodded in response.

————————————————————————

We made it back to the hotel after a silent ride. As we walked through the lobby and made it into the elevator, I couldn’t believe I was doing this. Jake held my hand and gave it a light squeeze. I felt him looking at me watch the floor numbers ding on the monitor. I turned to him and smiled lazily. He smiled back, and kissed me on the cheek. He lingered there for a bit before moving to my ear.

“I’m going to make it better.” He whispered.

I felt a pool begin between my legs. It felt so wrong. My boyfriend’s brother, making me feel like this. But Sam was wrong too. I hated him as much as I hated myself in this moment. But I was so detached from reality. So drunk, so lost, and so hurt. The doors opened.

We walked out, walking past Sam’s room. My eyes followed it as if he was going to come running out of it. Jake opened his hotel door, the one conveniently next to Sam’s, softly saying my name, and pulling me into the room. He closed the door behind me.

I felt him behind me as I entered more of the room, knowing I was entering the biggest mistake of my life and my body couldn’t turn off autopilot. He came up behind me, holding me. He kissed my shoulder and rubbed my stomach. I let out a sigh, I hate to admit it, but I was turned on at the thought of what he was going to do to me.

Even though my body was vibrating, my chest was aching, and a few tears escaped. He spun me around, anticipating what would be our first kiss, but he was met with my eyes, full of tears. His face was surprisingly comforting. He pulled me in for a hug. The kind of hug he always gave me.

“We won’t.” He said, as I fell apart beneath him. He kissed my forehead and held me close. I let out wailing cries, mourning what was once Sam and I, and what I almost allowed to happen. I was sick with myself as much as I was with him. I was trembling, and my throat felt raw from the noises escaping it.

A string of words kept flowing from me, “Jake what did I do? I’m horrible! I lost my best friend, I love him, how could he do this to me? I love him, Jake, I love him!”

He lead me to the bed since I began falling to the floor in his arms. He shushed me, rubbing my back.

“You didn’t do anything, I did this. Sam’s at fault, I’m at fault. Not you.” He said firmly.

I weeped. Picturing what almost happened and what transpired with Sam and his ex in the next room the night before.

“Y/N, I am miserable right now. I almost took advantage of your vulnerability because I lost the love of my life. I betrayed my brother, don’t blame yourself right now. Please. I will make this better.” The last sentence was said in a new tone than it was in the elevator.

———————-————————————————

I woke up to knocking on the door. The room was pitch black, my face was damp, and my throat was sore.

The knocking turned into banging.

“JAKE, LET ME THE FUCK IN. YOU PIECE OF SHIT, OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR.” The banging persisted, and the voice was familiar. It was Sam.

My body was frozen, I felt Jake rustle beside me.

“Stay here.” He said, making his way through the dark, turning on a lamp on his way to the banging door.

I sat up, and looked at my phone on the nightstand, I tapped it to see any notifications. My phone was completely blown up from Sam and even a few texts and calls from Danny.

“Please answer Y/N”

“Y/N”

“Hey”

“Y/N, Sam is trying to call you, he’s going crazy right now, he’s not telling anyone anything. What happened? Are you with Jake? He’s trying his phone too. Just let me know if you’re okay.”

Jake opened the door, and Sam busted through, immediately attacking Jake.

“YOU THINK I WOULDN’T FIND OUT?” Sam yelled as he threw a punch at Jake, who was dodging his fists, telling him to calm down.

“YOU LET YOUR RELATIONSHIP FALL APART SO YOU TAKE MY GIRLFRIEND? DID YOU FUCK HER? THE FUCKING TOUR BUS DRIVER TOLD ME HE SAW YOU WITH HER.” He pushed Jake up against the wall. Sam hasn’t even looked towards the bed, where I was.

Sam had Jake by the collar of his shirt, I was frozen.

“Sam.” His name escaped my lips, raspy.

He turned around. Eyes blood shot, hair a mess. He let out a breathy, sarcastic laugh. He turned to Jake and raised his fist, aiming for his face. Jake, again, dodged his brothers fist, and finally used his strength to throw Sam to the floor.

“JAKE!” I screamed, finally being able to jump up. Jake looked at me while Sam struggled beneath him, cursing at him. Jake gave Sam a firm gaze, holding him down.

“YOU FUCKED HER? YOU FUCKING TOUCHED HER?” Sam yelled.

“I could’ve but I didn’t. Because I fucking love you, and I love her. And YEAH, I am miserable right now, I wanted to take her from you because of it, but what the fuck is your excuse?” He spat through his teeth. Sam writhed underneath him.

“I DIDN’T CHEAT ON Y/N, I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO HER,” Sam yelled “Y/N, PLEASE LISTEN TO ME.” Jake let Sam go. He stood up in front of me.

“I didn’t sleep with her, I didn’t kiss her, I didn’t even hug (her name), PLEASE believe me, listen to me, LOOK AT ME.” He said, tearfully, shaking me by my sides as I struggled to keep eye contact.

I finally caved. I nodded in return. Waiting for him to continue. Jake gave me a kind smile, and patted Sam’s shoulder. He told us he’d be in Josh’s room if he needed us, and left.

Sam led me to sit on the foot of the bed. He held my hands and continued to speak.

“She was on tour, like I said she would be. She told me that one of our roadies and her had a fling after her and I split two years ago. She said she wasn’t expecting to see him again and it was hard to avoid him because he was working close with James’ team.” He looked into my eyes, waiting for me to let him continue. I nodded.

“She said she was scared of what he would do if they were alone because he threatened her, I told her she could hang around us. I have no say in who’s fired, I tried to relay it to our tour manager but he said that the roadie was one of his best employees and wasn’t dropping him this far into tour because of something that can’t be proven. I was stupid. It was a way in. Last night she said he said something about knowing which room she was staying in…”

Again, I nodded. He hasn’t broke eye contact, or tried to retrace his story… He was telling the truth, and I let him continue just that.

“I didn’t want to deal with her, believe this. But our tour manager was being a dick, I know she’s not the talent and doesn’t have needs in their eyes, but I felt obligated to help. I told her to come to my room, stay there the night, and I’d go to Dannys… She came to my room, and immediately, I knew something was up, Y/N. She started asking about you, and how serious we were. I asked her what her intentions were. She joked to get me back. I told her to get out, but she wouldn’t. She insisted that the story about her and this roadie was still true, and she wanted me to protect her. I left her in my room, and I slept in our photographers room. I knew that if I slept in Danny’s, she wouldn’t end this till she got in. And as for her shirt, one of mine was missing from my suitcase, I assumed she took one of mine to sleep in and left hers for me to find. And baby, I’m so sorry that you found it. That’s awful.” He put his hand on my cheek, forcing me to look at him.

“You don’t have to believe me, I know this sounds like a load of bullshit. But please, ask anyone. Anyone you want. They’ll tell you what impression I fell under.” His eyes pleaded with mine. Even though it was hard to give into him after this entire day, my gut was telling me that he was telling the truth.

“Sam,” I tried to find what I was going to say next. That I believe him and that I love him of course, but I couldn’t say that without being honest about what almost transpired between Jake and myself. He waited patiently.

“I almost did something unforgivable tonight, to spite you.” I continued. His chest physically sunk, and his eyes welled up.

“Almost? Not just Jake?” He spoke, loosening his tight grip on my hands.

“I’m not proud.” I teared up. My voice was still raspy.

He cleared his throat, letting out a sigh, opening his mouth to ask “How far?”

“He asked me to come here and I did-“ I started, but Sam put his hand on my thigh, trying to get me back on track.

“Baby, how far?” He said firmly, but still sadly, nonetheless.

“He kissed my cheek in the elevator… when he got to the room, he kissed me here from behind.” I ran my fingers along my shoulder, showing him where. His face was stoic. He looked at my cheek and then my shoulder.

“He stopped when he realized it’s not what I wanted. I promise he did, Jake is not at fault. He feels like he is, he says he is. He’s just lost right now. He doesn’t want me like that, nor do I want him. I never did. It’s always and only been you, Sam. I was in such a bad place. My life felt like it was over.” I began to weep again.

He pulled me into his lap, let me cry, and held me… Like he always did. He kissed the top of my head while I soaked his shirt in my tears.

“It’s okay. Him and I will talk, but you and I are okay, baby.” Sam let out. I was relieved, but still felt like it wasn’t.

“I’m so so-“ I tried to reply, but he stopped me with a kiss. He let me go and looked deeply into my eyes.

“Don’t you say sorry. I’m sorry. I could’ve told you from the jump. But I was so in my own head about that night and I took it out on you.” He kissed away what tears were on my face and stroked my hair.

He always knew how to make me feel at ease, and right now I did… For the first time all day.

“And by the way, I was texting her earlier to never show her face around me again. You’re more than welcome to look-“ He said, reaching for his phone, but I shook my head in protest.

“Not now…” I said softly, looking into his eyes. He placed his hands back where they were, supporting me in almost a cradling like position.

“Sammy.” I spoke out. Knowing he knows I only call him ‘Sammy’ when I’m feeling soft.

“Yes, Baby doll?” He tucked my hair behind my ear.

“Take me to bed?” I rasped. He smiled and leaned forward to me, into a passionate kiss. His tongue dipped between my lips, searching for mine. I let out a small whimper, and he let out a deep moan in return.

He kicked off his shoes, while I transitioned from his arms to straddling his hips, wrapping my arms around his neck. I started to grind my throbbing, clothed pussy onto the denim covering his hardening bulge. His hands made their way onto my ass, guiding me on top of him. We let out moans and soft laughs in between our passionate kisses.

I took his bottom lip between my teeth, earning a low groan from my beautiful boy. He lightly tapped my ass.

“Lay down, baby.” He instructed, and I did as I was told. Resting my head onto the pillow, I looked up at him… He was undoing the buttons on his shirt. I leaned forward, helping him. Once the buttons were undone, I worked it down his shoulders. I went to undo the buckle on his belt, but he moved my hands away, and had me lean back by gently pushing me.

“I’m taking care of you.” He said firmly. I thought of how Jake said this earlier, but the truth is, only Sam could.

I blushed under his gaze while he removed his pants, leaving him in his briefs. His cock was rock hard, Sam caught me looking at it pulse for me. I bit my lip lightly and went to cover my face, squirming my legs beneath him.

“Don’t be shy, now” He let out a little laugh and so did I. He began undressing me, removing my dress, then my slip. He looked down at me in my bra and panties. Completely flushed and exposed, just for him. I opened my legs while he got between them.

“Sammy,” I began. His eyes traveled up my body and landed on my bashful gaze.

“Hmm?” He hummed, running his hands up and down my thighs.

“I love you too. I didn’t really answer you before…” I said, still trying to make things right.

He smiled lightly and pushed air through his nose.

“I know you do, my girl. Don’t worry.” He replied looking up at me. He began to slowly remove my black lace panties. Once they were discarded, I let out a shakey breath… Sam laid down next to me and gave me a tender kiss. He spread my legs wider for him. He took some of the wetness from my core and dragged it to my clit.

He began rubbing it just the way I like it. Immediately, I’m saying his name over again. He dips his skillful fingers into my pussy, toying at my g spot. He alternates between my clit and pussy while kissing my mouth, and slowly moving open mouthed kisses down my neck.

I pulled the lace of my thin bra down, exposing my hardened nipple. I start squeezing the sensitive bud, suddenly it’s replaced with Sammy’s wet mouth. His hand is solely focused on my clit while his tongue works my nipple. I reach my hand down to his throbbing cock. I cant think of anything more intoxicating than the thought of him deep inside me.

He moans onto my nipple, creating vibrations that intensify the sensation.

“Sammy, I need you, please.” I let out, desperately.

He releases my nipple and doesn’t let go of my clit while now, starting to lean over me.

“Aw, look at you.” He says, looking down at me, grinding into his hand, squeezing the nipple he just had in his mouth between my fingers.

“My girl wants it rough, huh? My pretty girl wants me to cum inside her perfect little pussy, right?” It doesn’t matter how sweet Sammy can be, he loves to see me fall apart for him. He wants to see me cry for him, beg for him. Always loving a show put on for him.

“Yes, Sammy, baby please, I need it, give it to me.” I moaned out, feeling like I could cum just watching him drool at the sight of me. He removed his hand from my clit and removed his briefs. His cock sprung up for me. He positioned himself between my legs.

He kissed my forehead, lining himself up with me, before sinking into my aching pussy. The sounds alone from my wetness were enough to prove how much I needed him. He fucked into me, bringing his hand to my clit once more.

He kissed me deeply, pulled away, and looked into my eyes.

“I love you,” He groaned while pumping in and out of me.

“I love you too.” I moaned, unintentionally tightening my walls around him. My arms were around his neck, while his chains danced from his chest onto my neck.

We both moaned into each other’s mouths, he brought up his other hand to relax my jaw into a more opened position.

He let a slow, string of spit into my mouth, earning a pornographic moan from me as I swallowed it. He mouth hung open while watching me do so as he continued to fuck deeper into my pussy.

His fingers sped up on my clit and he sped up his pace while hitting my g spot. I felt a familiar knot in my stomach, and he could tell I was close by my walls clenching and face alone.

“Cum for me, baby, cum on my dick, let it out, little girl, let it go for me.” He cooed as I came. I wrapped my legs around his torso, tightening them with each second of my release.

I felt his cock twitch inside of me.

“Cum inside me, Sammy, give it to me, please, please-“ I panted. And with that, he came deep inside of me. Moaning and panting, sweat beads on his forehead, pressing his to mine. He found my lips and kissed me hungrily, like he was starving for my mouth.

Our eyes were still teary eyed from earlier but extra teary for the passionate love making we just shared. He collapsed on top of me. Pulling himself out of me, he rolled onto the side of my body, now pulling me into him.

“I love you, so so much, Y/N.” He said softly.

“I love you so much more, Sammy.”

#sam kiszka #sammy kiszka #sam kiszka smut #sammy kiszka smut #greta van fleet #greta van fleet smut #fanfic #greta van fleet fic #sam kiszka x reader #sam kiszka x y/n #smut #jake kiszka #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka x y/n

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callsign-magnolia · 9 months

Text

Last Christmas

MATURE CONTENT (18+)

Warnings: Illusions to cheating, mentions of alcohol, crying.

Summary: Your relationship with Rhett is great, until it's not. But was it truly ruined, or did everyone else's opinions influence you.

This was for @lewmagoo's Christmas celebration! I'm still trying to stay offline but I just had to post this!

Word Count: 5.3k

Masterlist

“I love you, darlin’.” Rhett whispered as he rested his forehead on mine. “I love you too, Rhett. With all of my heart.” I whispered back as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He held me close as he swayed us between the trailers. The town's annual Christmas party was a hit. It was held at the rodeo grounds, and of course, with it being Amelia County, we have an annual Christmas rodeo. Rhett had an amazing ride, taking first place for the second year in a row. As soon as he came out he scooped me up into his arms, kissing me in front of the entire crowd. It's been almost a whole two years since we started dating, and I couldn't be happier. In high school, I never could've imagined myself with Rhett. We knew of each other but I never thought he'd be interested in me. So I was very shocked when we bumped into each other when I moved back home from college and he asked me to dance at the Pit Bar.

“You still haven't told me what you want for Christmas.” He said, leaning me against his trailer. “I told you. Same thing as last year. Just you.” I said, pulling him into another kiss. “Oh come on!” He said, squeezing my sides and making me giggle. “You forced me into telling you what I wanted, and I know you got it.” It was true, I held him by the crotch in the Abbott Family barn and threatened to not sleep with him unless he told me, and I did buy it. “So I think it's only fair if you tell me.” He said. “Rhett.” I whined and he pressed me into the trailer a little harder. “C'mon darlin. I think I know what you want.” He said and I raised a brow at him. “And what do you think that is?” I asked. “I saw you looking at that book collection on Amazon.” My eyes widened. “Well, I did love the first book.” I listened to it on my phone and I've been dying for the series since. “And I think you'd love a gift card to that lingerie store up in Casper.” I quickly nodded at him in excitement. “I knew you would.” He said, pulling me into another kiss.

Christmas came and I talked Rhett into staying the night with me on Christmas eve. We woke up bright and early to open our gifts and of course I got the book collection and the gift card. But the look on Rhett's face when he opened his gift was the best thing I could've gotten on Christmas morning. “I only asked for the bridle darlin’. You got me a saddle too? How did you hide this?” He asked. “You never set foot in the basement.” I said, giggling. “Because it's creepy.” He retorted. “But I got it because the one you have is so old and worn, and you constantly complain that it hurts your back.” He had been complaining for the last year and a half that the saddle killed his back. So I made sure that I got him a saddle to match his bridle. “I think Honey will appreciate it too.” I said and he chuckled. “You're right.” After we opened our gifts we grabbed everything we needed and made our way to his parents. Amy begged for us to be there when she woke up, so we negotiated that we'd show up before she got up. Rhett was practically vibrating in his seat, so excited to see Amy open her gifts. He loved that little girl more than anything. I think he loves her more than me someday, but I couldn't complain.

We quietly came in the door when we got there. Royal was standing in the living room sipping his coffee when we walked in and it took everything in me to not giggle at the man. Just like the rest of us he was in a red shirt and reindeer pajama pants. Amy begged us to wear matching pajamas and we all agreed, Royal a little reluctantly. “Well, you look comfy.” I told him and he grunted. I just laughed at him before walking over and pulling him into a hug, which he begrudgingly returned. Cecilia smiled at us, coming over. “Merry Christmas." She hugged us both. "Merry Christmas, Ma." Rhett responded. "Quick!" Perry said, rushing down the stairs. "She's waking up!" Royal, Cecilia, and Perry quickly sat on the couch while Rhett and I sat on the rug in front of the roaring fireplace. Soon we heard soft footsteps coming down the stairs. Amy's hair was wild and she was rubbing her eyes when she saw us. "Uncle Rhett!" She yelled before sprinting to him. As soon as she got close enough she launched herself into his arms. He squeezed her tight and she giggled. "You knew we'd be here." He said and she buried her face in his shoulder. "I was worried you wouldn't come." She said and Rhett's face fell. "Why?" He asked and she shrugged. "I told you we'd be here, and we're here aren't we?" He asked and she nodded. "Right. Now, let's open all these presents. Looks like Santa brought ya a lot." Her attention immediately shifted to all of the gifts under the tree. Soon gifts were handed out and Amy ripped into hers. She was happy with everything she got and could hardly sit still for the rest of us to open ours. Once that was done we ate breakfast before going out for a Christmas ride.

"You can use your new saddle." I said. Rhett just chuckled and shook his head. "Didn't bring it," he said. I told him to put it in the truck, but I knew he didn't. He wants to keep it pristine, but I bought it to be used. "Check the bed." I said and he sighed. "When did you sneak it in there?" He asked and I smiled at him. "When you went to the bathroom." He groaned and turned towards the truck, going to grab the new saddle and bridle. I just chuckled and got my horse ready. Soon we were ready and headed out to the South pasture. It was bitterly cold and I was in as many layers as I could move in. "You cold?" Perry asked as I walked my horse out of the barn. "Very." I muttered. But I squealed as a snowball hit my chest and exploded. "Perry!" I yelled. He just laughed as I gathered my own snowball, launching it at him. He stopped laughing as my snowball nailed him in the chin. It was my turn to laugh as he stood there with his eyes closed, wiping snow off his face. "Right. Fastpitch champion." He said and I nodded.

“Three years in a row, Per." Rhett said, leading Honey over in her new bridle. I smiled at him as he wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me in close. "That just made me love you even more." He said, giving me a soft kiss. The ride was long but I eventually warmed up. Soon everyone else went back to the house, leaving Rhett and I alone. The snow started again so we decided to go back. "We've almost been together a whole two years." He spoke up, I smiled at him and nodded. "We have.” I responded. "January 19th." I lightly bit my lip and looked at him. “You remembered?” I asked and he nodded. “How could I forget the best day of my life?" He said and I giggled. "Ma's even been asking me when I'm going to marry you." He said and I sat up a little straighter in my saddle. "Is that… Is that something you want?" I asked and we were quiet for a minute. "I do. Do you?" He straight up asked me "Yeah. Yeah, I do.” He gave me a wide smile and turned to face forwards again. “So… are you gonna ask?” I asked him and he laughed loudly. “Oh no. You’ll never see it coming.” He said with a sly grin. “Okay, just don’t try to scare me with it.” I said. “I ain’t makin’ no promises.” He replied.

The next day it was after work and I was putting some of Rhett’s laundry away in his lone drawer he has at my house when I saw a navy blue felt box. I stared at it for a moment before setting the laundry basket down and reaching for it. I held it in my hands, debating on if I should open it or not, but eventually I did. I gasped when I saw the gold ring, sitting on the plush navy cushion. It was a pear shaped diamond on a yellow gold band. “I guess he did listen when I talked about rings.” I said to myself. My finger twitched as I considered putting it on. But my thoughts were halted by a voice. “Honey? I’m home.” Rhett’s voice echoed up the stairs and I all but tossed the ring box in the air. I juggled it before slamming it into the drawer. “Just a minute!” I called down to him before stuffing the clothes in the drawer as well before rushing downstairs.

A week later there was the New Year’s rodeo. Amelia county has a rodeo for everything and it sure shows around the holidays. Rhett showed up a few hours before me as usual, but I always slipped back behind the trailers to see him one more time before he rides. But this time, I wish I hadn’t. I gasped as Rhett pushed the black haired girl away from him, her lips making a smacking noise as they left his. I gaped at him as his eyes met mine and a look of horror crossed his face. “Honey-” He started but I cut him off. “No-just… No.” I turned and started walking away from him. He called my name, rushing up behind me and grabbing my arm. “Do not touch me!” I said, swinging around, my hand connecting with his face. He looked at me in surprise. “Honey, please it’s not what it looks like.” I shook my head at him as the tears started falling. “No! It was!” I yelled at him. “When we first started dating, everyone told me what kind of man you are. But did I listen? No! Because I thought I knew you. I thought you would never do this to me.” I said as tears of his own fell down his cheeks. “Dammit Rhett! We were talking about getting married exactly a week ago! I can’t believe you would do this to me!” I said. “But I didn’t-” “I saw you Rhett! You can’t gaslight me!” “I’m not trying to gaslight you!” He took one step closer and I took two steps back. “We’re done, Rhett.” His shoulders shook as a sob racked his body. “Honey, please. Don’t do this. Let me explain.” He said and I shook my head. “All the explaining was done when I caught you kissing someone who isn’t me.”

“Mom, please.” I said as she squeezed me to her. “Your daddy and I are just so glad you decided to move back home.” She said. “But I do hate that Washington didn’t work out for you.” When Rhett and I broke up, I struggled. I entered a dark place in my life and I knew I needed a change. So by Valentine’s day I had gotten myself a new job and moved to Washington State. Life was good there, but it wasn’t Amelia County so come Halloween I had made plans to move back. I got my old job at the county tag office back and my parents are letting me live with them until I find my own place again. “It’s okay, it means I don’t have to spend money to come home for Christmas in two weeks!” I said and mom nodded. “I really do appreciate you and daddy letting me sleep in my old room until I get my own place again.” I said. “Well you know, the old Wilson farm is up for sale.” My dad said. “Daddy, I don’t have the time to take care of a whole farm. Nor do I really want to.” I said as I followed him into the kitchen. “You did when you were with-” “Daddy. Please don’t say his name.” I said, taking a deep breath, fighting back tears. My heart still hasn’t healed from last year. I’ve tried focusing on myself, but it didn’t work. I couldn’t bring myself to date anyone else, or even sleep with anyone. I so badly wanted the distraction but just the thought of being with someone else had me in tears.

“Besides, he’s probably forgotten about me anyway.” “Oh no, he has not!” Mom said, walking into the kitchen to join us. “Mama-” “Every time that boy sees your father and I he makes it a point to ask about you. How you’re doing, are you enjoying life in Washington? That boy is still smitten with you, sweetie.” I shook my head. “He wouldn’t have done what he did, if he really did love me.” My dad scoffed. “That boy is in love with you, and he will always be in love with you.” I huffed and turned to my dad. “I’m your daughter. Aren’t you supposed to hate any boy that cheats on me or hurts me in any way?” I asked. “Well yes. I did corner him right after you moved, I blamed him for it but he explained everything and I can’t be mad at the boy.” I furrowed my brows at him in confusion. “What did he say?” I asked and my dad shook his head, lifting his coffee mug to his lips. “Not my place to say.” I raised my brows at him. “Not your place to say?” I scoffed. “No, it’s not my place. When you see him, he can tell you.” I shook my head. “I’m hoping I don’t see him for a long time.”

The next week at work it was almost dead. But at least once a day we get a busy spurt. I heard the bell above the door go off as I was helping someone and I froze as I looked up. Those crystal blue eyes met mine and I wanted to crawl under my desk and hide. I totally jinxed myself by saying ‘I hope I don’t see him for a long time.’ How could I forget that Rhett has a December birthday? I thought as I finished with the person in front of me. I was hoping someone else would get him but as my client stepped away, I realized I was the only person available. Our eyes met and I so badly wanted to get up and walk over and kiss him, but I didn’t. “I can take whoever’s next.” I said, turning to face my computer. “Hi.” He said quietly as he stepped up. “Hello Rhett.” I could be petty and ask for all of his information, but that would have him standing in front of me longer. “Just renewing your tags?” I asked and he nodded. “It’s a two- thou-” “Two-thousand six GMC Sierra.” I said, cutting him off. “You remembered?” He asked and I fought back a small smile. “I remember when you got that thing sophomore year.” I said as I put in all of the information. “I wound up taking you to school the morning after I got it because your shitty little car broke down.” I bit my lip, remembering everything. I was four miles away from home but eight miles from school and I got very lucky that Rhett had to drive down the same road as me to get to school.

“Yeah.” I muttered as I printed off his tag renewal. “Can-can we talk?” He asked as I slid the papers to him. “No, Rhett. I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I said and his mouth hung open for a second. “O-oh. Okay. Well, have a good day, darlin’.” Before I could correct him he walked out. “I’ll be back.” I said to my coworker before walking back into the break room. I grabbed my makeup bag and keys before rushing out to my car outback. I was breathing heavy as I got in and soon the tears kicked in. I cried and cried in my car, mascara running down my face as I leaned my head on the steering wheel. But I sat up quickly when I heard an engine revving and a dark blue GMC Sierra blew behind my car and out of the parking lot. I cried more before I managed to stop. I cleaned my face off and redid my makeup before going back inside. As soon as I sat down my coworker Amanda turned to me. “Are you okay?” She asked and I took a deep breath. “I’m fine.” I said. “Okay, well that gentleman you helped came back in looking for you, but I told him you went out to your car.” She said and I nodded. “Thank you.” I responded.

I didn’t hear from Rhett. He didn’t try to call me, come see me or anything which I was grateful for. I don’t know if I could handle it. But then came the town's annual Christmas party and rodeo. I tried to get out of it, but mama called me out on all my bullshit and practically dragged me out of the house. I pouted the entire ride to the rodeo and my parents just made fun of me the entire time. “You realize I’m not going near that gate, right?” I said as we got out of my dad’s truck. “Sure you won’t.” My dad said. “But just so you know, Rhett has had a rough season and everyone is convinced that Luke Tillerson is going to beat him out this year.” Rhett would never let Luke beat him out. But if he’s had a rough season, then could he really stop Luke? Luke has always only been just a few spots behind Rhett and Luke could never stand it. Maybe I could walk over for Rhett’s ride? He would be too focused to look for me once he’s on that bull. I followed my parents around, greeting everyone but I stopped when I heard a voice call out my name. I turned to find Amy sprinting for me. I smiled, opening my arms and squeezing her tightly when she almost knocked me over. “Wow! You got big in the last year!” I said as she looked up at me. “I was so excited when Uncle Rhett said you’re back! Will you be at house on Christmas morning again?” She asked just as Perry, Cecilia and Royal walked over. I squatted down so I was more on her level, even though she still stood over me at this point. “Not this year, sweetie.” I said and tears welled up in her eyes. “Why not? Uncle Rhett said you were home.” I nodded. “I am, but your Uncle Rhett and I, we’re not together anymore. So we won’t be spending any holidays together anymore.” I told her. “Amy, it’s okay. We can still go and see her if you want.” Perry said, resting a hand on her shoulder. “Can we?” She asked and I nodded. “Whatever you want, sweetie.” I said, hugging her again. “C’mon, let’s go get some hot chocolate.” Perry said and she excitedly agreed. “Good to see you.” He said and I waved at him.

“We’re glad you’re back.” Cecilia said, pulling me into a hug. “I’m surprised so many people are happy I’m home.” I said and she raised a brow at me. “Why wouldn’t we be?” She asked. “Well with everything that happened between Rhett and I…” I trailed off and she chuckled. “That boy still loves you, but I think that’s a conversation you wanna have with Royal. Rhett has told him more about what happened than me.” She said before someone caught her attention and she wandered off. Then my attention turned to Royal. “Hi Royal.” I said and he held an arm out, pulling me into a side hug. “Hey.” He grunted. “Daddy told me Rhett’s had a rough season.” I said and he nodded, leaning on the gate as a rider was let loose. “He has. He’s been doing good, but not as good as he has in the past.” He said and I nodded. “Do you think it’s because of me?” I asked. If Rhett’s not focused like he needs to be, he could really get hurt. “He’s been so focused on what he could do to get you back, he’s been distracted from everything in the last year.” He said. “If he wanted me back, why did he stop calling after two days?” I asked, huffing. “Because he realized you’d never take him back if he wasn’t the man you deserved.” I raised a brow at him. “He can explain it better, but I’ve never seen Rhett cry so much. He came to me two days after y’all broke up, and he asked me what I thought he needed to do to win you back.” He said, watching the riders intensely. “You know, I was in the same situation with his Ma about a year after we got together. I told him he could tell you he loved you all day long, but until he proved it to you with his actions.” He said and I nodded in agreement. “Maybe talk to him, hear him out and make your decision from there.” He suggested and I nodded. “I’ll think on it Royal.” I replied and he nodded, clapping a hand on my shoulder before starting in the direction Cecilia went.

The next rider up was Luke Tillerson. I wanted to see the next few riders so I watched. Luke held on for a total of four seconds before he flew off, barely getting his feet under him. I watched a few more riders before it was Rhett’s turn. I fought the urge to stand up on the gate and yell as loudly as I could. But as soon as he was turned loose I couldn’t help it. “GO RHETT!” I screamed, standing on the gate. He was holding on tightly and he was laser focused and as soon as the eight second buzzer went off he let go, flying off the bull and rushing for the gate. But he skidded to a stop as the bull cut him off. “RHETT!” I yelled, catching his attention and he made a quick left turn. The bull was on his tail until someone else caught his attention and Rhett launched himself over the gate, landing on his back next to me. “Oh, shit! Rhett?” I asked, bending down next to him. “Rhett? Can you hear me?” I asked as he gasped for air. “Okay.” I said, grabbing his hand and helping him sit up. I took his hat off his head, fanning his face with it as he caught his breath. “Thanks.” He said as he could finally breathe normally. “You’re welcome.” I said as I helped him stand. I brushed some dust off of his arm and he smiled at me. “Good ride.” I said and he nodded. “Better than Tillerson’s.” I said, giggling lightly. “So you’ve heard.” He said and I nodded. “My daddy told me, but I knew you’d never let it happen.” I said as I met his eyes.

“Yeah.” He muttered. “Listen, I know the other day you said we shouldn’t talk… but I really need to talk to you. I don’t expect you to take me back, but I can’t go on without you at least knowing the truth.” He said and I stared up at him. He held my gaze, almost searching my face for an answer. “O-okay. But after your last ride.” I said and he gave me a soft smile. “Thank you.” He said and kissing my cheek. “Gotta run.” He said before taking off for the other riders. I was a little stunned by the kiss and stood there with my mouth gaping for a moment before I came to my senses. I cleared my throat before going to take a seat for the next two rides. I watched as everyone made their second and third rides. Rhett’s second ride was another perfect one, with the exception of the bull not cutting him off. But he was in first place and Luke was in second, the scores were close and I was nervous for his last ride. Luke went and had a perfect third ride, but come Rhett’s third I could see how tired yet determined he was. I watched him climb into the chute, the bull he was on starting to throw itself around. Time slowed until the buzzer went off and the chute opened. Rhett was hanging on for dear life, but I gasped as his hand came loose and he went flying off the bull, landing on his shoulder. He had injured it once already and I knew this new injury would be worse.

“Rhett!” I yelled as I ran over, worried about him. Two of his buddies were helping him over to a bench when I got there. “How bad is it?” I asked. His breath was shaky and his skin was clammy. “I think I knocked it out of place again.” He said and I grabbed his hand, slowly lifting it until he cried out. “Okay, want me to help you put it back in place?” I asked and he nodded, fighting back tears. I grabbed his wrist, slowly lifting it until he couldn’t handle it anymore. “Ready?” I asked and he nodded. “Okay.” With that I quickly lifted his arm and rolled the ball of his shoulder back into socket. “AH!” He yelled out. “Okay. Okay, it’s over.” I said as one of his friends handed me a sling. “Let’s get this on.” I said, guiding his arm into the sling as his breathing started evening out. “Do you need a pain pill?” I asked and he shook his head. “No, I stopped taking them.” He said and I looked at him in surprise. “Oh, really?” I asked and he nodded. “I stopped drinking so much too.” He said and I smiled at him. “And how do you feel?” I asked. “I just popped my shoulder out of place. I don’t feel like I’m layin’ in a field of daisies.” He said and I laughed. “Well after they announce the scores, why don’t we get something hot to drink and have a seat somewhere so we can talk.” I said and he nodded. “I’d like that.” We sat there in silence for a minute. It wasn’t awkward like I expected, it was comfortable, but I could tell he was nervous.

“Hey,” I said, resting my hand on his. “You’ll come out in first place.” I told him and he chuckled, squeezing my hand. “You’re usually right about this stuff.” He said and we continued to wait. “And in first place…” The announcer said. It was between him and Luke and I knew he was nervous. “Local boy and winner for the third year in a row, Rhett Abbott!” The cheers were deafening as I squealed, pulling Rhett into a hug. “I’m proud of you!” I said out of habit and my face turned red. Many people came up to congratulate Rhett but finally we managed to grab some warm apple cider and Rhett led us back to the trailers. “You okay?” He asked, looking back at me as I trailed behind him. “Yeah, just thinking about the last time I was back here.” I said truthfully and he nodded. “C’mon.” He said, taking my hand and leading me over to his GMC. He set the tailgate down before getting into the back and pulling out a blanket. “Here, I know you get cold.” He said. I took the blanket from him, thinking about all the times we were wrapped up together in this blanket. “So, what did you want to tell me?” I asked as I climbed onto the tailgate. He sat next to me, taking a deep breath before letting it out. “What you saw last New year’s, it really wasn’t what you thought it was.” He said and sighed. “She originally asked me where Luke was and I told her I didn’t know. Then she started asking me things like how long I had been riding for. I didn’t want to be rude so I just answered her questions.” I nodded, showing him I was listening. “She asked me if I would go out with her, and I told her no because I wasn’t single. I turned to face her to tell her we were dating and she grabbed my face, and kissed me.” He said.

“I couldn’t just shove her away, she was tiny, she would’ve gotten hurt and then there would’ve been more problems and Joy would’ve gotten involved. I was trying not to panic but then you caught us and my entire world just fell apart at that moment.” I took a deep breath, looking down at my cup. “You had every right not to believe me, and to dump me. But I really needed you to at least know the truth.” He told me. “This has been the worst year of my life.” He said and I nodded. “Mine too.” I said and he raised a brow at me. “I’m sorry I ran you out of town.” He said and I chuckled. “You didn’t run me out of town Rhett. That was all me. I thought it would do me some good, but apparently it didn’t.” I said and he nodded. We sat in silence until he lifted his head and looked at me. “Dance with me?” He asked, holding out his free hand for me and I stared for a moment before nodding. “Okay.” I said, taking his hand. His free hand fell to my waist as his hand in the sling took mine as my own free hand rested around his neck. “Your dad told me you’ve been focusing on how to get me back.” I said and he sighed. “I realized I had to prove it to you.” He said and I nodded. “Even just tonight I can see how much work you’ve put in.” I said and he smiled at me. “I still really love you, darlin’.” His forehead fell to mine, just like it did last year and I smiled at him just as ‘Last Christmas’ by Wham! came on. “This song really sums up this last year.” I said and he nodded. “I still love you.” He said. “So much. And I was wondering, would… would you give me another chance? You don’t have to, but I have to at least ask.” I still really love him. So much so that it hurts. “Okay.” I said and his face lit up. “But we’re really gonna have to take this slow.” I said and he nodded. “Whatever you want, honey.” He said. His face slowly inched closer to mine as a few snowflakes fell around us. “Are you gonna kiss me or just breathe in my face?” I asked and he chuckled. “Can I kiss you?” He asked and I just rolled my eyes before pulling him into a soft kiss. He pulled me against him, crushing my body to his. “Fuck I missed doing that.” He said, pulling away and I grinned at him. “I did too.” I said, kissing him again. “I love you, Rhett.” I couldn’t resist saying it. “I love you too, darlin’.”

#a lew magoo christmas #rhett abbott #rhett abbott x reader #rhett abbot x reader #outer range fic #outer range fanfiction #outer range #lewis pullman

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