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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 6 months ago

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Hello, I came to say that dragons are mythical creatures often depicted to be possessive in mythology and literature, sometimes known for their immense power, territorial instincts, and the symbolic association with hoarding wealth and treasures...

Twisted Wonderland in context, Malleus Draconia was confirmed to be a dragon fairy (essentially a dragon who can take a shape of a man), and I was curious if Malleus may have exhibited possessive traits in canon, whether through main story or vignette...?

The reason I ask that is because mischaracterizing characters or making them OOC is the last thing I want to do when it comes to writing or analyzing...

**Sorry if I was not able to word it in a way that you can understand what I'm trying to convey because sometimes I feel inferior that my wording may come off as blunt or insensitive. I just want to leave a brief note that I don't mean to come off as rude or dismissive. I appreciate your understanding!**

In my opinion, Malleus in canon is protective but not possessive. What do I mean by that? Glad you asked. Let's start by laying down some definitions.

In this situation, when I say “protective”, it implies good intentions. It means actively looking out for others' safety and wellbeing. To be possessive, on the other hand, implies a more controlling desire to own or to restrict another's actions. It’s commanding and demanding all of a person’s attention and love. It means having a disrespect for others' autonomy and instead trying to displace it with your will. (Yes, I know that you're probably automatically thinking of The Big Exception of book 7, but I will address that later in this post so hang on for a moment!)

This gets long, so buckle up! We’ve got a lot to talk about.

First thing's first, a lot of the "possessive Malleus" interpretations originate from fandom, especially when it comes to yandere, yume, or generally romantic fan works. (And to be clear: This is NOT to shame the folks who enjoy these kinds of works; I am only listing them here as examples.) Oftentimes this occurs due to individual fans bringing in ideas from media outside the bounds of Twisted Wonderland. This is totally expected and normal; there is no such thing as someone who has an interest in ONLY a singular thing. We will naturally apply our previous knowledge to help us understand and interpret new information.

For example, in irl mythology, fae are hurt by iron--and even in Disney's own films, such as Maleficent, iron is depicted as harming fae and sapping them of their power. This led to many Twst fans headcanoning that iron does the same thing to fae in Twisted Wonderland. However, we learn in book 7 that this is NOT true. Fae, particularly nobles, do find the smell of iron nauseating, but the metal does not appear to impede their powers or hinder them in any way. Lilia and his men are still able to dispatch several Silver Owls (who are dressed in iron arm and battle with iron tanks and other machinery) without issue.

Another example that’s pretty popular is fans believing that whole “if you tell a fairy your name, it grants them power over you” thing. Some have claimed this will come into play in book 7’s final battle. Others claim this is the deeper or secondary reason as to why Malleus doesn’t reveal his own name to Yuu until book 5, as giving his name would grant Yuu power over him. However, there’s nothing in-universe to suggest that names have cultural significance to fae or that any sort of power or status is granted by relinquishing one’s name. Yuu (or Malleus’s hundreds of other classmates) have also demonstrated no such control over him.

Remember: what is true outside of Twst, including in Disney's own works, is NOT necessarily true inside of Twst.

Going back to the initial question, I believe that "Malleus is possessive" is also a headcanon of a similar vein; fans are coming into Twst familiar with other mythos which state that dragons are possessive, territorial, and greedy on top of being powerful. Because Malleus is a dragon fae and is known to possess great power, it's very easy for fans to see the parallels between him and the dragons they already know of. This then leads to them filling in the gaps of his personality and projecting other stereotypical draconic traits onto him. In Malleus's case, this was extremely easy to do because it took a few years for him to see any significant spotlight in both event stories (Glorious Masquerade) and in the main story (book 7).

I think the easiest way for us to analyze whether Malleus is protective or possessive is to examine his closest relationships in the narrative of Twst. I will not be counting Sebek and Silver individually here, as they are both his bodyguards and Malleus maintains a mostly professional relationship with them. Instead, we shall look at Malleus's attitude by looking at his relationships with Lilia and Yuu, then proceed into discussing related behaviors.

I believe it's indisputable that Lilia is one of the most important people to Malleus. Lilia trained him, taught him, and trained him. He is basically Malleus's father figure. The fear of losing Lilia is what causes Malleus to emotionally spiral and take drastic measures in a desperate attempt to avoid that unhappy ending. His entire motivation for unleashing his UM is "not losing [Lilia]!" You would think that if Malleus was going to be possessive of anyone, it would be with Lilia. But the truth of the matter is... he's mostly just... not? Lilia is a very sociable person in the student body. He's frequently gaming with Idia, taking care of or lending wisdom to others (Silver, Sebek, etc.), hanging out with Cater and Kalim in their club, interacting with dorm leaders and freshmen when Malleus is absent for ceremonies, and more--yet Malleus doesn't seem to express any jealousy over sharing Lilia. I'd also like to add that although Malleus lacks parents, he doesn't really show envy over Lilia treating and calling Silver his own son instead of himself. Oh, Malleus certainly does express jealousy to some extent. Who would forget the time in his Dorm Uniform vignettes when he crushed Lilia's phone? The thing is though, the times when Malleus is upset are not fueled by not wanting to share Lilia or wanting to monopolize his time. In the previous example I cited, Malleus broke Lilia's phone because Lilia had received a picture Kalim and the other dorm leaders took after a meeting. Even the dialogue exchanged implies this; Malleus did not automatically get mad when he noticed that Lilia had a notification, he only got mad after realizing he was excluded from something the other dorm leaders were all involved in. Malleus was upset that he was not invited, not that Kalim was texting Lilia. Additionally, it is stated that the dorm leader must grant permission for others to use the lounge. If he wanted to, he could withhold the permission for Lilia, who wants the lounge for his farewell party (which everyone is invited to), or stipulate that he wants a more formal affair with just Diasomnia members present. Malleus doesn’t act in this possessive way though. He grants Lilia what he desires without issue.

Next up for scrutiny is Yuu! Now, there's some gray area here because part of Yuu's relationship with Malleus is defined by how much the player projects onto the self-insert/blank slate character. Please note that, when I discuss Yuu, I am leaving out individual interpretations and going STRICTLY by the information presenting in canon.

It can be said that Malleus slowly develops a fondness for Yuu's company over the course of the main story. At first, he is surprised and maybe even a little disappointed that someone has taken residence in Ramshackle--it used to be desolate, which makes it a perfect spot to visit on his nightly strolls. However, Malleus soon finds amusement in the fact that Yuu, not being of this world, has no clue who he is or what his status is. This grants him the freedom to speak at ease with this human and to "be himself" in a way that he cannot be with others, who typically cower at his name. You could also argue that Yuu telling Malleus they may have found a way home expedited the despair he felt in book 7, as he learned so quickly that two of his friends would be exiting his life soon. This, however, is not possessiveness. It's normal to have fear and anxiety about losing the people you love.

Malleus's voice lines also do not indicate possessiveness. Yes, there's the usual and expected fanservice-y lines where he invites Yuu to come and engage in various activities with him, but nothing in those suggests he would exclude others or become upset if they also wanted to join. (Are you telling me that Malleus wouldn't want to talk for hours on end about the glory of gargoyles to TWO people instead of just one?????) Additionally, all the characters get similar fanservice-y lines, so it's not something exclusive to Malleus. There was one line that gave me pause: "You always seem to attract a crowd... More so than I'd like, really." Buuut I think this could be read a number of ways, not solely in an ‘I want you all to myself’ way. Malleus actually does like to be alone, hence his nightly strolls. The line can therefore also be read as Malleus enjoying solitude or one-on-one conversations as opposed to addressing a group. In that case, it's a personal preference and not necessarily a sign of possessiveness. He’s definitely not completely averse to group activities though; there are lines where Malleus invites Yuu to do things with him and other characters. For example, from his PE Uniform: “Sebek has been badgering me to help train him. I'll permit you to join us. ... You're coming, I trust?”

The guy generally doesn't get angry or annoyed if Yuu mentions having other friends or managing the 7 member VDC/SDC group. In fact, he sometimes encourages Yuu to interact with others. One of his birthday lines is, "You needn't linger and focus on me to the exclusion of others. I want everyone to enjoy the party, yourself included." Malleus doesn’t so much as flinch or react when a complete stranger kisses the back of Yuu’s hand either. If he was truly possessive, wouldn’t he have gotten angry or—at the very least—have frowned or tried to put some distance between Yuu and said stranger? Yet Malleus doesn’t really react or comment on it despite being present.

Malleus seems to understand that it's not very polite to demand all of someone's time or attention--and this makes perfect sense of his character. He is a royal, and that means he was taught proper manners. Malleus has even indicated before that his grandmother stressed the importance of observing etiquette, particularly around invitations. You don't just invite yourself to functions or insert yourself into others' lives if not extended said invites... and Malleus, for the most part, adheres to those rules. In various voice lines, he even frets over committing social faux pas, wondering if he has offended his peers with certain behaviors. For example, from his Masquerade Dress: "Flamme shoots me stern looks on occasion. Have I behaved improperly in some way...?"

Malleus is also not generally possessive when it comes to his items or territory. He wants to share cake with others; eating a whole one gave him heartburn and now whole cakes are his least favorite food. Additionally, he tends to welcome people to Diasomnia rather than chase them out or expel them. (After all, they so rarely get visitors in the first place.) Malleus will at least hear out the reasoning for seeking him out. As an example, Leona (someone who has had a rocky history with Malleus) goes to Diasomnia in his Ceremonial Robes vignettes to exchange robes after a laundry mix-up. This is a stark contrast to the highly territorial Leona, who attacks a magicless human in thd Botanical Garden and also allows his own students to wail on Yuu and co. for simply walking being in Savanaclaw. Leona joins in on this bullying too. I think it's pretty clear that Malleus handles guests with far more tact, grace, and patience than his fellow prince.

I want to point out that though Malleus is usually amicable with guests, there are exceptions. Ramshackle, as I mentioned earlier, is a place he enjoys a lot. He indicates in his Halloween Dress card that “If anyone dares to damage [this] dorm, I will be as a lóng and reduce them to cinders. I have become rather fond of that place, after all.” Indeed, he does act on this promise in Terror is Trending and comes close to striking down Magicam Monsters for disrespecting a place he holds so dear. Is this possessive though? Yes, it’s a place he loves—but it’s also a place where his friend Yuu lives.

There are many other examples of Malleus going to extreme lengths to protect the things he loves. He vows to destroy Rollo Flamme, who poses a threat to his people, the fae (who depend on magic as their way of life, and the sentient gargoyles, whom he has recently befriended. He unleashes his mighty magic to attack those who wound his pride. He stops time and kidnaps the entire student body all for the sake of including ghosts in a Halloween celebration. And, of course, he sends Sage’s Island to sleep in a desperate bid to stop losing everyone. The majority of these behaviors involve him lashing out at those who pose legitimate threats to things he cares about. It’s not as though be is acting for no discernible reason or because he is doesn’t want his loved ones being with people other than him. Does that make these actions right? No, absolutely not. But I would say they are definitely more protective than possessive.

Very rarely is Malleus actively preventing his peers from spending time away from him. Sure, he gets upset that he’s not invited to join them and sure, he wishes people would invite him too—but there’s a difference between longing and being mopey about this and acting so domineering he’s breathing down the necks of others to only be with him. He is not stopping people from being with their friends and family. He is not stopping people from using his things or entering his territory. Even when he makes everyone sleep, he grants them the space to craft their own dreams and doesn’t even make the dreams center around him and his own involvement on their lives. Oftentimes the dreams involve several other characters that are important to the individual dreamer and Malleus does not appear at all. (Again, this doesn’t mean using his UM was the best move to resolve his issues; I’m just saying his actions were not necessarily possessive.)

So, in conclusion, I stand by the thesis at I proposed at the start of this post: Malleus is largely protective, not possessive, despite what many fandom interpretations would have you believe.

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tokoyamisstuff · 8 months ago

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In your opinion who is the worst yandere to be stuck with and why Alucard, Captain, Enrico, Alexander and Walter, jan.

A/N: Keep asking, my child is sick and I'm nap-trapped for hours a day. 😂 Written on my phone so pls bear with me. Also, I don't feel comfortable writing about Jan. Sorry. 🫶

Sorted from best to worst.

⚠️ Dead Dove - Do Not Eat. ⚠️

5. Alexander Anderson

"Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." (Genesis 3:16)

As long as you play along, you have nothing to fear.

Just like with the orphans, Anderson is very gentle to those he is fond of. So he'll provide you with a domestic life, even though prisoned and heavily supervised.

Either himself or his trusted members of Iscariot always have an eye on you, making it basically impossible to even think of getting away.

The priest has some very strict demands about how you as his partner should act. Would never touch you against his will, though. He'd be fine with keeping his celibate as long as you're with him.

While controlling his bloodlust exceptionally well, he'll definetly let it out on others shall you misbehave. Preferably people close to you, claiming they're bad influence.

Better never mention you miss anyone from your old life, since he gets jealous very easily and with his kind of power he can make them disappear at a whim.

Other than that, Anderson really just wants you to be at his side and, in his wicked perception, protect you from this dangerous world.

4. Enrico Maxwell

"Don't be so fucking ungrateful. You were a nobody, and yet I treated you like a goddess!"

With Maxwell you'll feel like a bird in a golden cage.

He has a constant need to prove his worth, and overcompensates his lack at understanding true human connection with what he mistakes for care. So he'll shower you in gifts and other pleasantries, and takes it very personally when you don't properly appreciate his efforts in his eyes.

Also gets easily offended when you don't reciprocate his advances, especially when you deny him physically. But even smaller, more insignificant gestures he will over-analyze in his fear of rejection.

On the other hand I can see him being very subsceptible for flattery and the likes, so you can use his insecurities against him. Inflate his ego with sweettalk or whatever's necessary to keep him pleased.

The worst part is that he literally thinks you owe him affection.

3. Alucard

"Shh...it's over now. You endured so well, my love. As always."

Alucard is very confident to keep you at his side due to the sheer amount of might he possesses. So with him you get a lot of freedom, at least metaphorically. You can roam around a lot, talk to other people, almost act like you have a normal life.

He would never force himself on you due to his own experience with SA, but he won't be able to keep himself from taking your blood on the regulary. It's simply addicting to the vampire, and sometimes he goes overboard and leaves you anemic. A few times he almost killed you while indulging in the taste of your essence.

Being the abomination he is, he craves being accepted nonetheless, no matter what side of himself he presents you. He'll entertain himself by unleashing undescribable horrors just to cradle you in his arms shortly after, never actually physically but rather emotionally scarring you. After a while, sleep seems like an impossible task.

He is very well aware of the absurdity of his actions, but cannot seem to stop himself.

2. The Captain

This man is clouded in mystery, so I can see this go two very different ways: Either you're his sole sweet sanctuary from this cruel existence, or a moral support for the last remnant of his humanity.

While he is calm on the outside, still waters run deep. His love is a two-edged sword that will eventually end in your demise. The curse of immortality made him insane and nihilistic, and most of the time it's a walk on eggshells with him really.

In general the Captain is rather soft, but he doesn't see you as a person. You're like a doll, a toy to do however he pleases with, until he gets bored and throws you away...or you break. Whatever happens first.

Also, the man is part of Millenium. Most probably wouldn't dare messing with you, but the possibility of getting abused by the organization isn't completely off limits, for example if it's an order from the higher-ups.

Especially full moons are terrifying, making him even more violent and unpredictable.

1. Walter C Dornez

"If I can't have you, I'll make sure no one ever will."

The weakest yet most violent and unhinged of them all.

Stops at nothing to make you obedient, can rob you of your free will with little to no effort. It will start harmless with ruining your reputation, but ends up at extreme kinds of torture, like withdrawal of food or mutiliation to make you less appealing to others.

His paranoia is dangerous for you even when you did nothing wrong, there is no way you won't be punished one way or another. Being with him is merely a mixture of dread and immeasurable pain.

Nothing you ever do is good enough for him, because it's not genuine. That contradiction is driving him crazy, and will hopefully end your misery at some point.

#no one creates faster than a neurodivergent person with a hyperfixation #no hellsing content? imma do it myself then #hellsing #hellsing ultimate #alexander anderson #alucard #the captain #enrico maxwell #walter c dornez #reader insert #yandere #writing #headcanons #alexander anderson x reader #alucard x reader #the captain x reader #enrico maxwell x reader #walter c dornez x reader #hellsing x reader

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pjmmania · 7 months ago

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If Snow Decides to Fall

5. "No more simple."

Chapter Warnings: Heavy angst, pregnancy, explicit language, profanity, misogynistic language

Taglist (open): @marihoneywk

Back to Chapter Index

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He looked at himself in the mirror, listening to the water running in the bathroom. He had put his robe back on and tied it more securely around his waist than normal. With a numbed expression, he studied his features, analyzing his own character.

You had dropped a bomb, and he reacted poorly. The two of you were in the middle of a break in what had evolved into an argument. Things got overheated, unexpectedly so. You decided it would be best to pause for a little bit, take a shower, and come back in a calmer state - but this had to be discussed tonight.

Jimin's own face confused him. He hadn't done so much as utter Seoyeon's name in a long time. He was befuddled by how much hurt was apparently still inside him, as he was upset that somehow she'd come back to haunt him, driving a wrench between himself and the woman he adored more. In flashes, he saw all the signs she left while they were together, everything that should have told him what she was all about. The insatiable desire of hers to be known as his, more than happy to suck his wallet dry.

He saw their dates at those expensive restaurants, remembering how he snuck payment to the owners to keep them quiet. He remembered having to pay a nosy photographer off handsomely so that he wouldn't sell photos of them together, and her furious face when she learned he'd done so.

He had already agreed to take your relationship public someday when it became necessary, but so much of that had to do with the baby. Now, to hear you sound so jealous of the things he'd done with Seoyeon, a red alarm was blaring.

When your shower was complete, he was in the living room, sitting on the couch with some mindless television on. Your hair was wet and brushed out of your face, and you were in a hoodie and shorts.

You sat down next to him, playing with the hem of your ankle socks. Neither of you knew what to say at this point.

"So..." you said, "I'm sorry about how that went."

He let out a sigh, scratching his cheek gently, "Yeah, me too. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Seoyeon sooner. She's not really a topic I engage."

"So I can gather." your voice was hushed as you hugged your knees to your chest.

Jimin dug for more words, "I'm also sorry that I haven't shown the side to you that I did to her. You know, the dating side. I understand now that it's probably strange for us to move in together when we haven't even been on a real date. You aren't crazy for wanting that."

You nodded, "And you aren't crazy for wanting to avoid past hurt. I can see why you're hesitant. I'm not mad that you have an ex, but she was serious and you broke up right before we met. That's a lot to digest, Jimin. Either way, I shouldn't have made you feel like you're a bad boyfriend for it. And regarding the dating stuff, I know I shouldn't expect typical boyfriend treatment from you, especially if you've been burned before for trying. It's just, my parents said something to me when they were at my apartment. They pointed out that there has been no real action for us going public. We've said we will, but haven't really moved forward with any plan. Pile you asking me to move in, and then all of this new information on top of it, and I felt the doubt creep in."

"I understand," he said, "I just want you to know it's not because I don't love you. It's because I love you. It's because I love this."

You felt the hurt and anger rise again. A spiteful, petty woman inside you reared her head.

"You love keeping me confined in your apartment?"

You regretted it the second you said it, but it was too late. Now the man next to you had to try to compress his irritation. He looked down, features tight with displeasure, "I told you, I don't relish hiding you."

"You just said you loved this."

Jimin sprung off the couch, making you jolt a little. He put his hands behind his head. Here you both went again.

"I mean our relationship, Y/N. Jesus Christ..."

"Well sorry, but you're sending mixed messages," your tone was sharper now, "You say you don't want to keep us a secret, but you love our relationship as it is. Both can't be true."

He groaned, turning his back to you, "They can, actually."

Your eyes rolled, "How, Jimin?"

"Because I love the relationship that doesn't subject you to scorn and hate. Because I love the relationship where we have privacy and freedom."

You were nearly speechless until you let out a mocking laugh, "Freedom?! This is freedom to you?! Every waking moment of our lives when we are outside this apartment is an act of theater! Did you know that I don't let myself laugh at your jokes at work? I don't even let myself look at you most of the time out of fear that someone will notice and-"

"And what?!" Jimin turned back to face you, eyes daring you to continue down that road, "Catch us? Because you'll get fired if they do? What an excellent point! God, do you have amnesia or something? How have you forgotten about that?!"

"I haven't."

"Well it sure seems like you have," he seethed, "It seems like you've disregarded every good reason to have conducted ourselves the way we have, Y/N. I won't be the bad guy for taking actions we both agreed on when this whole thing started! Actions that protect you!"

Both of you had shreds of self-awareness remaining, and knew deep down that this argument was becoming asinine. Neither of your points was without contradiction. Unfortunately, grown adults could still behave like children, and you dug yourself deeper into the hole.

You were steaming, "What happened to being sorry that you haven't shown me your 'dating side'?!"

"What happened to not expecting me to be able to treat you like a normal girlfriend?!"

You were both quiet for a moment. Your heads were swirling. Everything was muddled and you didn't know if you'd be able to resolve this tonight. Once more, the conversation had taken an ugly turn.

You fought back tears, whispering, "I don't, because I'm more than your girlfriend. I-I'm the mother of your child. That's my point. And if that's not enough for you to let go of this...this reflexive fear you have because of someone else's wrongdoing, then I don't know what else to do."

"But I am going to let go of it someday," his tone also softened, "You're acting like I've gone back on my word."

"No, I know we are still going to go public. We don't have a choice in all of that, as we have said many times before. I guess...I just wish you'd want it a little," you allowed a couple of tears to roll, "I know you didn't want it with Seoyeon either, but at least you were willing to take a risk for her. I'm already going to lose my job and who knows what else. I would feel better if I knew you weren't just doing it for the baby's sake. Do you ever want people to know about me?"

You ached for him to tell you that he loved you and wanted the world to know. That he wasn't embarrassed by you, that he would be glad for everyone to know he was with you. If only words like that would fall from his lips.

Jimin sighed, muscles loosening, "It's not that simple, Y/N."

It felt like a punch to your gut. You licked your lips to cope and prevent the shedding of more tears, drawing a deep breath into your chest, "No more simple. That's been the story of my life lately."

You then turned around, grabbed your purse, and left.

*3 weeks later*

You walked into your office to find a small bunch of pink and blue balloons tied on the back of your chair. On your desk was a card. After putting your things down, you went to read it. A sweet congratulatory message was on the inside and a gift card to a baby store, with signatures from everyone in the office. You told all of your other co-workers recently, and it appeared they got you something to celebrate. It made you smile, putting your hand on your belly, which had just begun to expand past your hips. Your smiles had been few and far between ever since that strange and troubling night, as had communication between the two of you.

His words were barreling through your mind. You and Jimin had never fought before, and clearly, neither of you knew where to begin the patch-up. The notion of moving in together was on hold, and it seemed like everything else was too. He was checking in with you once or twice a week, but you hadn't seen him since. The relationship was shaken, and it felt dreary. You'd grown to realize how big of a gap was left in your week without seeing him, laughing with him, loving with him.

Chaeyoung ducked her head into your office, "Hey! Do you like your surprise?"

You nodded, forcing a wider grin, "It's so sweet, thank you."

"Well, come on," she said, opening your door wider, "I know you're pregnant and all, so you've been getting here a little later than normal, but the guys have an in-house shoot today. And by today, I mean right now."

Your stomach dropped, "Oh, that's today?! Shit, give me a second."

You grabbed your water bottle and took your prenatal vitamin. Your colleague found it amusing, recalling what it was like to be at the stage you were. Pregnancy brain was real.

The two of you wheeled up the garment racks, pushing them into the elevator, as usual. You felt horrible for not only forgetting about the photo shoot but also what looks had been planned for it. You were essentially going in blind.

When you entered the right studio, the guys were already in there. Even Jimin was on-time. The program of events was the same as always. They needed to come to grab their garment bags once out of hair and makeup, and then you and Chaeyoung would take care of the rest.

The camera crew greeted you both, but seemed especially upbeat when they saw you. One of them, a man named Jongsu, came up to you with a bouquet of flowers and a small gift bag.

"Congratulations, Y/N!" he beamed at you. The other members of the crew either applauded or gave some cheers. You looked around at their beaming faces.

Wanting you to enjoy this moment, Chaeyoung took hold of the rack you were pushing and pulled it along behind her, freeing up your hands to receive these gifts.

You smiled and shook your head as both object were placed in your hands, "Thank you all so much. You didn't have to do this, really."

"Open it!" one of them said.

You set the flowers down gently on a folding table behind you. Navigating your hand through the white tissue paper in the bag, you located the object and pulled it, or them, out.

It was a pair of white knitted baby boots, so tiny that it made you gush, "Oh my gosh, these are so cute!"

They were so little. It gave your heart respite, a moment to let go of all stress and simply imagine the feet that would someday fill these shoes. Your winter baby.

The crew laughed at your response, glad that you liked them. Jongsu gestured to the little shoes, "We heard you're due in January. The little guy or girl needs some warm boots."

"Thank you," you giggled, "These are just precious. I love them."

Meanwhile, Chaeyoung approached the members. It appeared like all of them were finished with hair and makeup already, and were good to go and change. She nodded at the group, "Hey guys."

"Morning." they all greeted her back.

Jimin was focused on you, chatting with Jongsu near the door from which you came. He had watched you open the gift. Chaeyoung caught notice of his seemingly puzzled stare, looking back at you as well.

She then turned her head back to the members and smiled. She figured that he was confused by the sight, unaware of your circumstance, "Haven't you all heard? Y/N's pregnant."

For a split second, they looked at each other. Jimin couldn't pull his eyes off you. Once his friends all began to act happily surprised at the news, he followed suit. It felt mind-blowingly stupid to him. That was his child, and now he was having to blatantly pretend it wasn't.

"T-That's wonderful!" Hoseok chuckled, "We should get her a little something too, right guys?"

For once in the past couple of weeks, Namjoon and Jimin were united in something - they both shot him stern looks.

"Uh, yeah!" Jungkook replied enthusiastically, "We should. Maybe a baby-sized Army bomb or something."

Chaeyoung laughed, "Do we even make those?"

"Do we make what?" your voice quickly approached behind her. You couldn't help but lock eyes with Jimin instantly, but you made every effort not to look too long. If you were both being honest, you were the one who had been more standoffish over the past couple of weeks. You were too hurt by the disregard he showed you that night.

If it was up to him, the two of you would have talked it through and hopefully made up by now.

Even though he assumed you didn't feel this way, your appearance was glowy. Your skin was radiant, your hair looked soft and lush, and your eyes were bright.

He'd been reeling since the argument, just as you were, but he had missed you. The words you spoke that night echoed, pricking him like needles. While the comments still upset him, the stint of time without you had taken its toll. He contemplated your points and started to come around to understanding them. Slowly, the fire he felt was disappearing, replacing itself with guilt and a longing to fix this.

Chaeyoung answered your question, snapping him out of his own thoughts, “Oh nothing. I hope you don’t mind, but I was just telling them about your happy news.”

“Yes,” Taehyung gave you a knowing look, persuading you to play along, “Congratulations, Y/N.”

Jin added, “Yeah, congrats. We’re very excited for you.”

The others joined in, including the father of your child.

He looked at you with sullen, troubled eyes. The makeup around them made his expression even more exaggerated, making something inside you begin to hurt, "Congratulations, Y/N..."

You could tell that the guys felt it too. Some of them glanced at their fellow member with concern, while others looked down at the floor. It had always felt bizarre to pretend in front of people at work, but this was on another level.

You feigned a flattered expression, “Thank you all.”

“Oh!” you colleague squealed towards you, eyes fixed on your abdomen, “You’re starting to show!”

Now was not the time for this.

You looked down at your slightly distended belly and put your hand over it. Part of you wished you were wearing something looser or a cardigan so that you could conceal it from their view. You felt Jimin’s eyes burning through you, and this time you couldn’t bear the awkwardness of looking at him. Suddenly you felt a spasm of remorse for not coming around sooner. If only you had, this special moment of seeing your bump for the first time wouldn't have been tainted.

“Y-Yeah," you said, "Just recently."

He felt like he could have thrown up. There it was - the thing he’d been looking forward to seeing for weeks. Your belly had finally popped, and he couldn’t even celebrate it with you.

Chaeyoung clapped her hands once, “Right, well, you boys go get dressed.”

They all went along with it, Jungkook having to nudge Jimin to get him to move. He couldn’t pull his eyes off your belly, as if he was in a trance. The youngest member touched his lower back to urge him forward. Reluctantly, he grabbed his bag off one of the racks and went with the rest of them.

All of the guys wound up in the same private dressing room to strip down. Jimin removed his shirt, while the others cautiously watched him. He looked totally zoned out.

They knew that the two of you had an argument and what it was about. To say the least, it only cemented Namjoon's low opinion of you and the situation. In the minds of the others, they could empathize with both sides. They knew damn well why Jimin was hesitant to make the same mistakes he made with Seoyeon, but they could also understand how it must have felt for you to discover that. Still, they had no idea that he had asked you to move in with him - Jimin wasn't ready to accept even more backlash from the group leader.

"That was weird." Yoongi said, hoping it would get him to talk.

"Yeah," Jimin muttered, "It was."

Most of them had no idea what they could do. They didn't know if this was the time to support their friend or encourage a resolution to this conflict. Namjoon was biting his tongue. He wanted to let his thoughts loose again. What he had thought about you before was only emboldened now that this argument had occurred.

Always one to try to concentrate on the bright side of things, Hoseok offered Jimin a soft grin, "Hey, at least she looks healthy, right? She's popped exactly on schedule."

The others gave him perplexed expressions. Jimin's was the most pronounced, "How in the world would you know that?"

"My sister's been through this," he shrugged, "Plus I have a girlfriend who is childbearing age. Women love to talk about this stuff and I'm a good listener. Sue me."

"And those little boots they gave her," Taehyung put his hands over his chest, "They're so cute."

Jimin scoffed, "How is making comments like that helpful right now?"

The room was quiet now, minus the sound of zippers and fabrics brushing against skin. They knew he had more to say.

Eventually, he went on, "I feel so fucking useless. What kind of a man am I? She's out there having everyone think that she got knocked up by some other guy that no one's ever heard of."

"I mean...No one is treating her poorly because of it." Jungkook said.

"That's not the point," he sighed, "The point is that's my kid. And she's my girlfriend."

"I'm sorry, I can't take this anymore," Jin rolled his eyes as he pulled on his chosen shirt, "The fact that you've gone this long without making up is ridiculous and it's unlike you. If your masculine pride is hurt, then take charge and go fucking talk to her."

The group was surprised by the slight outburst of their oldest brother, but most agreed with the sentiment behind his words. Their patience with this was getting thready, if they were all honest. This cohort of men never enjoyed drama, and lately, nearly all of it was centered around this one relationship.

"She doesn't seem to want to talk to me," Jimin argued back, "She barely gives any response to the texts I've sent her. I won't force her to talk if she doesn't want to."

"Fine." Jin briskly walked up to the younger man and snatched his garment bag right out of his grasp, “Then I will.”

He pulled out Jimin's black button-up, which was supposed to be worn under a burgundy jacket. Holding it up in front of him by the hanger, Jin pinched one of the top buttons between his fingers and snapped it off. The button fell to the floor with a soft tap, the threads hanging.

Jimin was aggravated but lacked the energy to show it in full force. He inhaled and exhaled deeply through his nose, pursing his lips together, “And please tell me what the fuck that was for?”

The oldest member chuckled, bending over to retrieve the button and placing it in his hand, "You'll thank me later. Now hurry up. You have to get that fixed now if we want to start on time."

In a gust of irritation, he took the shirt from his hand. He got the rest of his outfit on and retrieved his burgundy jacket before making his way back into the studio.

Once he was out of the changing room, the rest of the boys shared a laugh.

"Jeez, that was unusually direct of you, hyung." Yoongi smirked, zipping up his black boots.

Jin shrugged, "Needed to be done. They have to get their shit together."

"I feel horrible for the tough circumstances they are facing, but I agree," Jungkook added, zipping up his pants, "She's already in the second trimester. They need to figure out the next steps."

"Maybe it's time for us to step in too," Hoseok mentioned, "I said a while ago that it would be nice for Y/N to get better acquainted with us and the other girlfriends. I think it would help her a lot. Both of them, actually. They need to feel like they have a circle of friends to lean on. As a couple."

The photographer was adjusting the lighting and taking test shots, and the makeup crew was cleaning up their space.

Namjoon was getting his jacket lint rolled by Chaeyoung to ensure everything looked perfect. The man had a knot inside him. He was glancing at you every once in a while. If he didn't think it would ruin his friendship with Jimin and throw their lives into turmoil, he could have outed you there and then.

The stylist took note of his warring expression, "What is it?"

The leader realized he had to compose himself, "Nothing, just surprised about Y/N's news. It's wonderful, though."

"Isn't it?" Chaeyoung giggled, "If I'm being honest, I was slightly concerned at first. As her friend, I want to make sure she's taken care of. I trust that you'll keep this to yourself, but the father isn't necessarily a serious partner as of now. That worried me at first, but then she told me that the father is very affluent. She'll be able to manage, with a nice supply of child support."

The world went red for Namjoon, "Oh she told you that, did she?"

The woman was perplexed, ceasing the lint rolling for a moment, "Yes...is it such a wrong thing?"

"Not at all," he seethed internally, "That's comforting, actually. Y/N shouldn't have to deal with the strain of raising a child on a single income."

Not that he had any doubt before this revelation, but now he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't inform Jimin about this. Now, you were speaking of your relationship to others, behind his back. it didn't matter if you were telling people the truth about this baby's parentage - you were disclosing about wealth. As far as he knew, you would soon let the secret out yourself. Namjoon had to put an end to this.

You were a safe distance away from the two of them. As soon as you heard the door of the changing room open and close, your gaze naturally trained in that direction. Much to your dismay, Jimin was shirtless. Both his shirt and jacket were draped over his forearm as she approached you with a certain diffidence on his face. You were the only one who could fix what Jin had done fast enough.

He stood before you, averting eye contact, "It appears I have a wardrobe malfunction for you to deal with."

Trying to be cordial, you nodded, "What is it?"

"A shirt button."

You hummed in understanding and took his black shirt from him. Jimin could have stayed behind while you walked away to perform your work. He could have simply struck up a conversation with another staff member, but he followed you anyway. Perhaps a small piece of him was grateful for the excuse provided by Jin to speak with you.

You walked to the other end of the spacious room and sat down at one of the folding tables, getting your supplies out from your waist pouch. As you examined the problem area, Jimin stood next to you.

"This was ripped off," you observed, "The thread is broken right here in the middle. Did you...?"

You glanced at him, but then you were given a stark reminder that he was shirtless and looked away. You'd seem all of them shirtless during times like this, but it was different.

Jimin cautiously confirmed your assumption, answering you with a quiet voice, "Yeah, it was done on purpose. But it was Jin, not me."

You casually checked your surroundings. No one was within earshot. You weren't oblivious - you knew why Jin would do that.

"This feels familiar, doesn't it?" you sighed, threading your needle.

He seemed clueless, saying nothing.

You smirked a little with a shake of your head, keeping your eyes on the sewing task, "This is how you and I met. Me re-attaching a button to your shirt. It was in this same studio, at this same table."

Jimin remembered. He was taken back to that day when you'd managed to turn his life anew, after such devastation. Then the past year played in his mind, so many moments with you. All the sneaking around at work, the relentless fucking, the blooming feelings of love, the coffee in the mornings after.

And now, that same woman was here, with a growing belly full of his child. Two people that he couldn't acknowledge in front of the world. It felt criminal now.

He pulled up a chair so he could sit next to you. Careful to use a low volume once more, he offered you his sincerest eyes, "Y/N, I-"

"Hey, Y/N, hurry up with that! We're about ready over here!" Chaeyoung called to you.

You looked back at her, "Okay, one minute!"

Your eyes landed on him before returning to sewing. You weren’t entirely keen on having this conversation here.

“Jimin, not right now.” you mumbled.

His spirits were let down, but he could understand. He cleared his throat and offered you a soft grin, “That’s okay. I just wanted to tell you that…”

You looped your thread through for the last time, fastening the button back in its place, waiting for him to finish his sentence. But he didn’t. He just trailed off. When you looked at him hesitantly, you saw his gaze fixed on your belly again. It was a pained, longing gleam in his eyes.

Before you could ask him to finish, he appeared to snap out of it, “That those little boots you got from the crew are really cute.”

You gave a tiny smile, and his got bigger. At last, an ounce of unity. Then both of you broke into a mutual, subdued laugh. Despite everything, you couldn’t help it. His expression was adorable and, well, he was absolutely right.

“I agree,” you said, lowering your voice even more, “Our baby’s first present.”

Then you handed him his shirt back, good as new. He put it on while you held the jacket. When he was ready for the outer layer, you positioned it behind him, holding it up so all he had to do was slip his arms through.

“Thank you,” he said, giving the lapels a good tug, “Good?”

You gently giggled at how he was extending his arms outward, showcasing the outfit, “I’m satisfied.”

Jimin could have made a dirty joke there, but decided against it. As the two of you began to walk back to the group in the middle of the room, he realized he needed to say something, and fast. Otherwise, he didn’t know the next time he’d see you in person.

He muttered in your ear, “I want to talk.”

You sighed, giving in. You were still offended, but it couldn’t go on like this. Things were progressing inside your belly. It was time to suck it up and come back to the discussion.

“I do too…your place I assume?”

He could have easily agreed to that. It was the only practical option either of you had known thus far, but this conflict proved that things had to change. Not in the months ahead, but now.

“No,” he said, “Give me the rest of the day to make arrangements. I’ll text you the time and come pick you up.”

“What?”

He smirked, walking ahead of you. This conversation had to end now that you were almost back in the circle. Briefly, Jimin turned around and whispered, “Just trust me.”

The shoot was over, and the members were changing back into their everyday clothes. Namjoon was watching Jimin, pacing himself so that he was getting dressed at the same time. He knew that the younger man would be one of the last to leave the room, and he wanted to time it precisely.

Sure enough, things unraveled how he predicted. When Taehyung exited the dressing room, it was just the two of them. Jimin became exponentially less easy. They'd hardly spoken since the leader's harsh reaction to the unexpected.

Namjoon let out a breath and spoke calmly, "I think you and I need to talk."

"I don't want to right now," Jimin spat, "I need to settle things with my girlfriend first. My relationship with her matters a whole lot more than this."

The older of the two closed his eyes. Remaining rational had to be the priority, "I understand and I agree. Your relationship with the mother of your child has to come first...I just want you to have a full view of what that relationship is."

Jimin chuckled out of astoundment. He could only shake his head as he laced up his sneakers, "You're unbelievable."

"I care about you," he pleaded, "That's what this is. I never want to see you hurt."

Jimin's Adam's apple was exposed as he tilted his head up, face directed at the ceiling as he groaned. As ticked off as he was, he k knew Namjoon was well-intended. It didn't amend the words that were exchanged, though. His head then fell frontward to the floor for a moment as he struggled to find the right words.

"I know you care, Joonie," he sighed, "But this isn't the right way to care. You insulted me, and you were way over the line about her. Your words were so hurtful that I haven't dared to even share them with Y/N. It would devastate her."

Namjoon wiped his palms down his face in aggravation, "After this fight you've had with her, you still don't see it? Surely you must."

He was losing the little patience he had, "I might have been more upset with her weeks ago, but I don't feel the same anymore. Her reasons are completely different from Seoyeon's. This whole thing confuses me, Namjoon. You're an empathetic, smart guy. How can you possibly judge this situation to be the same?"

He would regret saying these next words, but Jimin had a right to know everything. As an older brother and a leader, he needed to bite the bullet.

"Y/N has disclosed that the baby's father is rich."

Again, the younger could only chuckle, "What are you talking about?"

Namjoon lowered his voice, approaching the door so he could lock it, "Chaeyoung told me. She said Y/N described the father as a very affluent man, which will help her financially."

"That's...unfortunate."

The lock clicked into place.

"Unfortunate? That's all? It doesn't worry you that she's out there exposing some of the truth? A truth which, lest we all forget, benefits her massively?"

"You know her well enough to know that she wouldn't mean it like that!" Jimin snapped. He couldn't tolerate this narrative of you having nefarious intentions any longer.

"I know you well enough to know that you didn't catch things like this last time!" Namjoon growled, "You might love her, but the record shows that you don't always love what's good for you, Jimin."

He paused. This conversation was over. He had more important matters to attend to, and he wasn't going to commit any more energy to this.

"That may be true," Jimin's tone became much more docile, "And I believe I have learned from my past misjudgments, but you're right. I should be wary of people who bring negativity into my life, under the false guise of love. So now I have no choice but to be wary of you."

Namjoon felt his chest tighten, "No, you need to listen to-"

"Until you come to your senses, our friendship is on hiatus...I guess it's been that way for weeks, but I'm officially drawing a line. I'm done trying to make you see it my way and I can't spend any more energy on it." he started towards the door.

"Jimin, you're going to get hurt again."

Hand on the doorknob, he didn't even look back, "I hope you change your mind."

You stepped out of your apartment complex wearing the attire Jimin suggested you wear. Your stomach in a mixed recipe of thrill and anxiety, you smoothed your hands over the silky printed fabric of your dress. It had a cream and pink floral pattern on it, with thin straps and a cowl neckline. It came down to your knees, cut upward at one side by a slit. This was one of the only dresses in your wardrobe that still fit you comfortably, the material nice and stretchy.

Your feet were a bit swollen, but you had still managed to get yourself into your trusty nude heels. They clicked on the pavement below as a warm August breeze swept the streets.

The sun was setting, creating orange and pink hues on the shiny cars that were driving by. You had been told to look for a large black SUV with blacked-out windows. Indeed, one was parked on the curb. You were almost positive that this was the right one. Then, you received a text from Jimin confirming it.

He was waiting for you in the back seat, as you assumed. Jimin didn't own a car this large, so you predicted that he'd asked one of their drivers to take you. Typically, the driver would exit the car to open the door for you, but tonight obviously called for more discretion.

Your boyfriend was in a white linen button-up, appropriate for the summer heat. In his usual fashion, he left a couple of buttons undone at the top. His pants were navy blue with an athletic cut. You had no idea if it was what he was going for, but he looked like any other boyfriend, taking his woman to dinner. It brought a smile to your face.

"Hi." you said.

"Hey, beautiful." Jimin greeted you.

Once you were situated in the seat, you closed the door.

"This is Wonshik. He drives us frequently," he said, reaching forward to pat the driver on the back playfully, "Wonshik, this is my girlfriend, Y/N."

You were pleasantly shocked and somewhat petrified at his nonchalant recognition of you. He said the words as if he’d said them a million times before.

Wonshik looked back at you and flashed you a warm grin, "I'm delighted to meet you, Y/N."

"You too." you nodded.

Jimin detected your nerves and took your hand as the car pulled away from the curb. He gave it a reassuring squeeze. His toothless smile resting beneath a pair of twinkling brown eyes was so gorgeous that it made some of your apprehension dissipate. Expressions like this were part of Jimin’s language repertoire. He could say such beautiful things nonverbally.

There was still a conversation to be had, but he had already won back a piece of your forgiveness.

You smiled back at him, “Are you going to tell me where we are going all dressed up?”

“Just a quaint little place I know.”

It wasn’t a quaint little place. It turned out to be a one of the most reputable and exclusive restaurants in Seoul, called Cherry Tree. This establishment only took reservations, and was booked months in advance.

When you pulled up to it, you were dumbfounded, “Here?”

He grinned and handed you a face mask, “Put this on. I know it’s not ideal, and I promise you won’t always have to wear one when we do things like this. Just until we get to our room to take it off.”

“Our room?”

Jimin chuckled, “You’ll see. Just put it on, baby.”

You looped the elastic strings around your ears and spread the mask over your face, as wide as it could go.

Jimin put on a beige fedora with a wide brim that shaded over his eyes. With his own mask on, his entire face was nearly concealed.

You laughed, “I’ve never seen you wear a hat like that.”

You couldn’t see his mouth, but his eyes squinted as a sign of his good humor, “It’s Taehyung’s. Being unrecognizable is the whole point, so I couldn’t wear one of my bucket hats.”

You giggled again. It totally looked like something Taehyung would wear.

Then Jimin spoke to Wonshik, “Do they know we’re here?”

“Just texted their private line,” he responded, “The manager should be waiting to escort you.”

“Thanks, I will text you when we are finished,” he then turned to you once more, “Ready?”

You nodded.

He unbuckled himself, “It might sound silly, but walk behind me to the doors. When we get inside, the manager will take us up and we will be free from any prying eyes. Just don’t look around and people will mind their own business.”

You were timid for a moment, “O-Okay…”

You felt so ridiculous. This is what you’d wanted, yet now you were scared.

Jimin pulled down his mask, letting it rest scrunched up on his chin. He brought your hand to his lips and kissed it, “It’s fine. I know Hobi has taken his girlfriend here before and no one batted an eye. I’ll explain more in a bit, but this place is used to idols dining here.”

You put your full trust in him, following shortly behind him out of the car after thanking the driver. It was fully hitting you as you approached the doors - you were on a date with Park Jimin.

Once inside, the bustle of the street was totally drowned out. You were in an illustrious foyer. What appeared to be the main dining room was off to the right, but you were careful not to look too long, as Jimin recommended. The staff walking in and out of the area were all finely dressed, cordial and proper. In the background, lovely live piano music was being performed.

A man in a classic black suit stood slightly to the left of the front desk, approaching as he saw both of you enter.

The men shook hands and graciously bowed to one another. He introduced himself to you before turning and leading you to the left, where a set of marble stairs existed. The railing was trimmed with gold and cool to the touch as you ascended to the next floor.

Jimin heard your heels clicking against the shiny, potentially slippery stairs. To ensure your safety, he positioned himself slightly behind you, hand on the small of your back. It was the first time he had ever touched you like this in a public setting, filling you with a buzz you'd never felt before. You felt like a real girlfriend, simply feeling his hand on you.

"Careful, sweetheart." he muttered ever so gently in your ear.

You felt like a fool, blushing at the most basic gestures and words, when you should have been holding a grudge against him for the things he had yet to apologize for. At least no one could see how flushed you were.

Once at the top of the stairs, the manager led you through a hallway unlike anything you'd ever seen at a restaurant. There was no common dining floor filled with people - only doors with numbers on them. They were all private dining rooms.

The manager came upon the number eight, "Your reserved space. Please enjoy."

You both smiled and thanked him as he opened the door for you both. He let you know that your dinner would be served in a little while, before closing the door behind you.

The room was intimate, perfectly sized for a party of two yet not cramped. The lighting was dim over a square table, the surface of which was overlayed with a white cloth. A couple of tealights were aglow on the table.

Jimin removed his hat and mask, so you did the same. You were smiling back and forth between him and the setting. The emblem of a romantic dinner.

He kissed your cheek and chuckled, "Did I do well?"

"It's beautiful," you said, "I have no idea how you pulled it off. This place gets booked out months ahead, doesn't it?"

"It does, but there are strings that can be pulled. Like I said, they are used to hosting idols here."

You continued to walk about the room, running your fingers on the back of one of the chairs, "Then how come there aren't photographers? If I was a member of the press, I'd probably stake out front, waiting to catch someone."

He smirked, making his way over to you with a sauntering gait. That look in his eye was all too familiar, all too melting. You set both hands on the back of the chair now, haphazardly gliding them over the smooth wood side to side, gaze fixed downward. You didn't want to become putty in his hands right now. You were here to have an adult discussion.

Jimin was behind you now, resting his chin on your shoulder, "There aren't photographers because the owners of the restaurant take care of people like me. Like us. They go above and beyond to make sure it's all private, for a certain price of course. And they never sell us out to the media."

"Because they know they can keep making a ton of money if they continue hosting idols discreetly." you said.

He hummed and kissed your cheek again, "Exactly."

You turned your head to one side, dodging any further pecks. Though you were grateful for this huge gesture, you still needed to talk.

"Aren't you going to be a gentleman and pull my chair out for me?"

Jimin chuckled, "Only if you do me one quick favor."

"What's that?"

"Let me feel my baby."

You halted. As much as you wanted to keep some pragmatism, you recalled being in the studio earlier, and how badly he looked like he wanted to feel your tiny bump. He had told you multiple times how much he was anticipating it, eager to see the physical signs of his child growing. You weren't about to deny this innocent and wholesome request.

With a soft smile, you turned around. Your faces were inches apart, both of you looking down at your abdomen. Jimin adored this dress on you. The cut of it was straight, accentuating your assets without suffocating your frame. The sheeny fabric showed off the swell beautifully.

His grin was endearing, "Look at that."

You giggled, "I thought you wanted to feel it."

"I do," he chuckled softly, "But now for some reason I'm nervous."

"Why? You’ve felt it before.”

"Yeah, but now it’s…there.”

Your lips pursed for a moment as you sighed through your nose. Then, they formed a gentle smile again. Your hand wrapped around his wrist below, slowly guiding it towards its destination. He had no idea why, but his heart was thumping. It was a bigger deal to him than he could have foreseen.

First his knuckle brushed against your tummy, then his veiny hand fanned out. His palm cupped the area. You were warm, your belly soft and pliable.

Jimin’s smile broke out all at once. He laughed a little bit, coming up with no words to say. You soaked in the moment.

"It's so strange but so amazing," he said, voice hushed in an awestruck state, "A person is being made in there."

Then there was a series of two knocks on the door, startling you both into immediate separation. Although the point of being here was so that you wouldn’t have to pretend, neither of you were willing to risk anyone suspecting anything about this pregnancy.

In came a waiter, carting two dishes. It was then that Jimin pulled out your chair for you, saying, “A deal’s a deal.”

A lovely dinner was placed in front of you. You had no idea that the food was ordered ahead of time, but you didn’t mind in the least. Your boyfriend knew your appetite very well, and you had no complaints. He ordered galbijjim for both of you, and it was the best you’d ever tasted.

Shortly, it was just the two of you again, eating contently.

“This is all so nice, Jimin,” you said in between bites, “Thank you…But when we fought, you seemed against the notion of something like this. What changed your mind?”

He refreshed himself with a swig of water, “Honestly, I was slowly coming around to it over the past few weeks. And then this morning when we had to put on the show for everyone, it killed me. For the first time, it was actually unbearable."

"I agree," your tone was downtrodden, "I know we will likely need to keep doing that for a while, but it was so strange. And I'm so sorry you had to find out about my bump the way you did. I could tell it pained you."

Jimin's face fell, "That wasn't your fault, but it did. Not as much as having to congratulate you, though. It felt like a betrayal of you and the baby, like I was disowning you or something. I'm sorry."

You offered him a weak, sad smile, "That wasn't your fault. It was both of ours. All of it. That's why we need to figure this out, for real this time."

He took his napkin and dabbed his lips a few times, "Right. If it's okay, I want to start by explaining something I said during our fight."

You nodded.

"When you asked if I ever want people to know about you, I said it isn't that simple," he began, "Let me tell you why."

Again, you gave him a feeble grin, "In my reflection, I know what you meant by that. You love me and don't want me to get hurt. I get it."

"No," Jimin's expression was frank, "No, I don't think you do, Y/N. I don't want to scare you, but it will be beyond your imagination. There will be many who accept you, but we as people can't help but focus on the ones who don't. It will feel like the entire world is against you. Millions of people you don't know will suddenly have an opinion of you. Rumors of all kinds will fly around and you won't be able to control them. It's unfathomable to anyone who hasn't been through it. I have, and I don't want to put you through that, let alone our child."

He paused for a moment after mentioning the baby. You let the sentiment absorb. It was heavy.

"That's not to say we shouldn't because ultimately it's best for all of us," he continued, "But that's the reasoning. I can't handle the idea of you suffering what I've suffered over the years."

“Thank you for saying that. I know you want to protect me…us. I know that’s what underlies all of the points you were making during our argument, but please don’t deny that there’s another reason, Jimin.” you sighed, rehashing the topic that started it all.

Much to your pleasant surprise, he addressed it right away, “I don’t deny it. Seoyeon hurt me badly and when you brought her up so suddenly I was alarmed. You were echoing some of the same things she’d say.”

“I know I was,” you admitted, “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize. You don’t have the same bad intentions she did and I was wrong to draw that parallel. I think I was just shocked we were even talking about her.”

“Well…you could have told me yourself.”

He nodded, “I know. I should have, because I can see how my lack of transparency left a bad taste in your mouth. I don’t have an excuse for that. And in the spirit of transparency, there’s something I think you ought to know.”

Your heart dipped low. You assumed it had something to do with his ex, and goodness knows another revelation in that regard wouldn’t be pleasant.

“Oh no, what is it?”

“It’s nothing I want you to be concerned with, but at the same time, this conversation has made me feel like you deserve to know,” he said, clearing this throat, “Well, it’s about Namjoon. He’s, um, not particularly keen on all of this.”

You put your utensils down. The look on your face took a piece of his resolve away.

“I see…” you muttered, looking anywhere but his eyes, “And would his opposition have anything to do with the things we just talked about?”

You weren’t clueless. You could put the pieces together. He thought you were just another version of her.

Reluctantly, Jimin nodded, “I think it’s a part of the reason why I reacted so strongly to you bringing up Seoyeon. His words were in my head in a moment of weakness. But he doesn’t know anything, and I’ve distanced myself from him for the time being.”

“Wow…okay...” you drifted, “Does he think I’m after money and fame?”

He recalled his skirmish with him earlier, and scowled, “He doesn’t know anything.”

His non-answer was all the confirmation you needed. You were bothered, to say the least. To know that one of his closest friends had such a low view of you was a tough pill to swallow.

“Well then,” you took a sip of water, attempting to spackle on a brave face, “I hope you guys are able to patch things up. Maybe I can talk to him.”

Jimin shook his head, crossing his arms, “Like I said, it’s nothing you need to concern yourself with. Just focus on your own wellbeing. That matters more to me than anything he has to say or think.”

You laid the issue to rest for the time being, accepting it quietly. It was clearly going to put your boyfriend in a tizzy and it wasn’t the topic meant to be discussed thus evening.

“Then I won’t worry about it.”

He seemed satisfied, “Good. Now onto the main issue, the announcement. I know it’s taken a while to get to this point, but I’ve had some ideas.”

#angst #jimin x reader #bts #fanfic #jimin #park jimin #romance #bts fanfic #bts fic #jimin fluff #jimin bts #jimin fanfic #bangtan

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linkspooky · 3 months ago

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Hello! I wanted to ask for your take on Ryoken in YGO Vrains. I haven't been able to find any detailed reviews on him overall (mostly scattered meta focusing on specific moments/seasons). Even the few "Revolver is the worst chara ever" criticism posts I spotted were too generic/vague or straight up deleted, so I haven't been able to figure out what actual issues people have with him beyond "tried to kill people" - which is something that, like, every YGO antag (& sometimes the protag) has done. I really liked your Vrains posts & your posts about hero & victim arcs & was curious about your thoughts on Ryoken's characterization/narrative purpose, if that's okay. Personally I like Ryoken, but I don't really understand his character & I've been trying to make sense of it (with difficulties as the meta about him is either disconnected or too polarizing what with "he's a technophobic terrorist!!!" or "he's the best cuz gun dragons"). (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡

A comprehensive character analysis of revolver, not just an analysis of any one specific duel - sure anon let's do it! Vrains is probably my second favorite Yu-Gi-Oh to analyze because it takes it doubles as a piece of cyberpunk fiction, which is a key element a lot of people miss when discussing Ryoken's character.

In my opinion, one of the major reasons people don't give Ryoken a fair shake, or are harsher on him than the other Kaiba-alikes is that he doesn't change his opinion once he's defeated in a duel. Daring to disagree with the main character is a cardinal sin for a lot of fans, because most series have protagonist centered morality.

However, the fact Revolver never quite joins the heroes side and sticks to his guns (pun intended) is what makes him so unique a character. More underneath the cut.

Vrains averts this the simplified black and white protagonist centered morality, because once again it's Cyberpunk which makes it speculative fiction. The point of speculative fiction is to speculate (obviously), which is why good speculative fiction has a tendency to represent multiple viewpoints as to avoid directly telling the reader what to think. Ryoken represents the viewpoint that AI technology's rapid development is too risky, because eventually they may get smarter and decide they don't need their human creators. Yusaku represents the view that it's possible for AI and humans to cohabitate, and it's also unethical to wipe out the six AI who are living sentient beings to avert a future that MIGHT happen. Through their opposing opinions a dialogue is created, which allows VRAINS to have a more in-depth discussion on the topic of Artificial Intelligence.

If Revolver easily changed his viewpoint to allign with Yusaku's, then Vrains would just be telling us what to think instead of presenting different viewpoints and allowing us to come to our own conclusions. Revolver's entire character also revolves around the concept of his unbending principles, which is key to understanding him.

HERO OF ANOTHER STORY

Ryoken more than any other Kaiba-alike embodies the trope of an antagonist with heroic qualities. The closest is probably to Ryoken is Reiji, but he's an ally to the protagonist, albeit one of scrupulous means. Characters like shark, Kaito and Kaiba have the goal of trying to save their loved ones, but unlike Ryoken they don't really care about the bigger picture or how their actions impact all of society.

In fact Ryoken and Yusaku flip the traditional protag and antag relationship on its head in the first season, because it's Yusaku who is laser focused on revenge while saving people is a secondary concern at best. The fact that the Knights of Hanoi are a threat to the link Vrains is completely incidental to his revenge quest.

While it's Ryoken who is thinking about the bigger picture and making his decisions based on what he feels will save the most people possible in the long term. Yusaku's goals are selfish wanting revenge for his personal satisfaction as a coping mechanism for his trauma, while Ryoken's are selfless in the sense that he is forcing himself to bloody his hands and do something unsavory and against his personal morals because he believes sacrificing people in the short term will save people in the long term.

Yusaku: Those horrible memories were burned into my eyes, feasting in my heart. It became my flesh and blood that I couldn't dig out. When I realized that, I decided to face my own destiny. If you think revenge is worthless that's fine, but there are things I am destined to do to move forward.

It makes sense Yusaku can't think of others besides himself, starving people only think of filling their own stomaches, people in pain can't afford to think of others. Yusaku doesn't react to trauma like a perfect victim years of processed grief can't be resolved by therapy or friendship, he's possessed by the need to do something because he doesn't feel in control of his own life. Another thing which connects him to, ding ding ding you guessed it - Ryoken.

The best way to understand Ryoken's character is to understand his relationship with his major character foils, Yusaku and Takeru. All three of them are shaped by the lost incident, though Ryoken is influenced in much subtler ways because the way Ryoken himself frames the incident he's not a victim but a perpetrator.

The entirety of season one builds up the voice that rescued Yusaku, someone Yusaku never learned the identity of but believes that they might be another child who was kidnapped during the lost incident.

Yusaku: Whoever kept encouraging me wasn't among the rescuees. If he's still captured I have to rescue him.

Only for the truth to turn out to be more complicated. Revolver is revealed to be simultaneously the child who helped kidnap Yusaku in the first place, and his rescuer, as well as the son of the man responsible for the entire incident.

Revolver: I was eight years old. I couldn't fully comprehend what was happening. I thought something scary might be going on. But I couldn't ask my father. I wanted to believe that my father was doing valuable research. But the children's screams tore at my chest. Crushed by feelings of guilt I reported the incident. Yusaku: An anonymous report uncovered the lost incident. So that was you, revolver? Ai: So he saved you? Revolver: I quickly regretted saving you. You were saved, but... when SOL technologies covered up the incident my father was imprisoned. I was alone for three years, waiting for my father to come home.

Revolver was not being simultaneously starved and electrocuted while being forced to duel over and over again for six months straight, but his life was also destroyed by the incident. Being subjected to the screams of other children, the realization that your father is the one tormenting them, then being orphaned all at eight years old is a different flavor of trauma but it's still you know... traumatic.

Revolver was also forced to face a complicated reality at eight years old, good actions sometimes lead to bad results. Reporting the lost incident was the right thing to do, but Revolver's father was made comatose and he personally suffered - he was punished for doing the right thing.

Revolver is a case of simultaneously taking too much responsibility for things that are not his fault, and too little. He holds himself responsible for both his father's actions and complicit in helping kidnap people, while also believing he needs to inherit his father's cause of fighting the Ignis to eliminate the potential threat to humanity. Ryoken has an incredibly negative self-image for most of the series, and cannot accept that he was a victim of the lost incident too likely because he wasn't being shocked and starved.

Yusaku: I kept wanting to save you. That the knights of Hanoi still had you. These thoughts still clung to my soul. When I battled you, your words encouraged me. Ryoken: How ironic. Ryoken: I'm your enemy but I gave you strength. Yusaku: Stop the tower of Hanoi, Revolver! Ryoken: You have the wrong idea about me. I'm not a good person!

Revolver has internalized he is at fault for the lost incident and complicit in his father's actions, therefore he is not a good person and unworthy of salvation. This also becomes his excuse for harming people en masse, to achieve his greater goal of saving humanity from the threat of the Ignis. He takes too much responsibility for what happened to him as a child, but takes too little responsibility in the innocent bystanders he is hurting now in his crusade against the Ignis, excusing himself by saying it's serving a greater good.

He blatantly ignores Playmaker's pleas to just stop, because he can't stop himself. Episode 44 is called Prisoner of Destiny, referring to Ryoken himself because Ryoken willingly chooses to cage himself. Not because he's selfish or cruel, but because of his overwhelming sense of responsibility that forces him to take on his father's burdens when really he owes the man nothing. If Revolver were on the heroes side, his willingness to shoulder the burden of other people would be a heroic quality on par with playmaker's, but as an antagonist it's his fatal flaw.

Which is what makes him the mirror to Playmaker, both trapped in the past unable to move on from the incident but Playmaker doesn't realize how much holding onto the past is hurting him until he meets Ryoken and empathizes with him as another child who's life was destroyed. Ryoken, similiar to Playmaker, doesn't realize how much he's suffering too because of those same unprocessed feeling in the past though for Ryoken he sets them all aside because he's too busy being crushed under the weight of his father's sins that he feels peronsally responsible for.

Responsibility, responsibility, responsibility, it's his best and worst quality. If he were the protagonist, once again his unbending nature would be a heroic quality but instead it's what damns him and it's something Ryoken has to unlearn over the course of the narrative. The fact that he does slowly unlearn it and change his opinion is what makes Ryoken different from Bohman and Ai, both of which can't accept the fact that they might be mistaken.

Unlike Ai, Revolver accepts Yusaku's pleas to save him.

Yusaku: You live in the same world as me! Back then, you said... You couldn't just stand by so you crossed the abyss. You're able to save me. And I'm able to save you!

Revolver laughs at this and insists that they'll never be friends, but his actions accepting his loss at the end of the duel and abandoning the tower of Hanoi plan contradict his words.

Which brings me to another reason Revolver is often misinterpreted, his tendency to play the villain means his words often contradict his actions.

One of Revolver's defining characteristics is how his bombastic personality in the VRAINS as revolver is the exact opposite of his more brooding and quiet personality in the real world. Revolver's two avatars also signify the discordance between his online and real world personality. His first avatar he wears a full mask, and his second a visor.

The first avatar he is wearing a mask, a symbol that he's putting on a persona, his face is fully obscured and both the people around him and we the audience aren't privvy to his real self. Even in the second season when Revolver changes his avatar and he's more of an ally with his own agenda than a direct antagonist his face is still partially obscured by his visor. The persona he adopts as a shield is to play the villain, I am a bad person Revolver says and even in the second season when he is helping others he clings to his villain facade until very nearly the end.

His avatar perfectly encapsulates his complicated nature, a villain with heroic traits, a villain who in a different narrative could have been the hero fighting to save the world from the threat of the ignis.

Revolver's deck also symbolizes these qualities of his, the overpowering willpower, and determination that could in another story make him a hero. I'm going to quote @talaofthevalley here because they already covered this subject wonderfully.

That Rokkets destroys themselves is relevant as well. Revolver is perfectly fine making himself the target of people's ire and hatred, even if it's not warranted or justified. He was willing to die for his mission in the S1 finale. And ofc famously no one hates Kogami Ryoken as much as Kogami Ryoken. But it's a self-destruction for the sake of something, not just self-destruction fueled by self-hatred. It fits with Revolver's knight theming, to fight and act for something greater than oneself. Which is also what the Rokket monsters do; they destroy themselves when targeted in order to fulfill a objective. Then we come around to Rokkets other noteworthy effect; at the end of your turn, they can special summon other Rokkets from the deck if they are in the graveyard because their beforementioned effect was activated. Revolver is as tenacious as they come, and equally resourceful. Even after losing to Playmaker, what he's hung up on is not that he was defeated, but Playmaker's identity. He swears he will win next time, and that's that.

Revolver like his favorite monsters destroys himself in pursuit of his goals, and also is a character with the determination to get back up no matter how many times he loses or the knights of Hanoi are destroyed, he just recreates himself, re-gathers his allies and tries again. His sense of responsibility being what both damns him and redeems him, because, I repeat for emphasis, Revolver self-destructs.

He takes on too much responsibility and always views himself as the bad guy, which is why his relationship with Takeru and his final duel with him is so crucial for the final step in his development. In season 2 Ryoken abandons his plans of destroying the Link Vrains, but still acts like an untrustworthy ally with his own agenda. In spite of his act, there are moments in season 2 where he is framed just like any other hero.

It's Revolver who shows up like a prince to rescue Yusaku when he's trapped by Windy and Lightning and does a superhero landing, only to immediately iterate that he's not on their side only following his father's will. It's Revolver who doesn't win the duel against Lightning when he has the chance, because Lightning takes an innocent person as a hostage.

Revolver: I must finish the work he left undone. Lightning: But we're the ones following Dr. Kogami's will as humanity's successor. Revolver: Silence! I'll crush those arrogant thoughts. I'll annihilate you! Get ready! Windy: Annihilate? How extreme. Yusaku: If you fight them there's no turning back now. Revolver: I never planned on turning back.

Season one revolver likely would have sacrificed an innocent to win a duel, and yet he still insists that he hasn't changed. Understanding Revolver requires reading beyond the surface, because characters are liars sometimes.

This is why Takeru is important, because like Revolver Takeru sees the world in terms of heroes and villains. While Yusaku pleads with Revolver to reconsider his way of thinking and is accepting of Revolver's cooperation, Takeru only meets him with derision and suspicion happy to lump him in with the rest of Hanoi.

This isn't just because of the kidnapping, but his unresolved feelings over his dead parents. The guilt he carries for never being able to make up with his parents over the last fight they had, because he was kidnapped for six months and his parents died in an accident during that time. Revolver and Takeru are both characters controlled by unresolved feelings of grief over their dead parents, and a misplaced feeling of survivor's guilt, a guilt that they somehow had a role in thier parent's demise.

Revolver on his end is all too willing to accept Takeru's scapegoating of him, he doesn't feel the need to explain himself or even reveal the fact that he was the one who called the police during the lost incident because in his eyes that would be avoiding responsibility in a way.

It's not until his final duel with Takeru where Revolver eases up on himself, by helping Takeru process his own feelings of grief over his parents. The same way that Yusaku once dueled not to stop a villain, but to save a friend from being trapped in the past.

Revolver: Your soul is still trapped here. And you don't know how to find the path to escape. You won't find the path. Soulburner: Then tell me. You know that when I went missing during the lost incident, my parents searched for me. The morning I went missing I had a fight with my parents. I said something horrible. Revolver: What did you say? Soulburner: I don't remember. Probably about not wanting to eat what's on my plate, or stop telling me to study. But pathetically, I was caught in fear so I don't remember. No matter how many times, I can't remember. I said something horrible to my dead parents. I've been living with that fact. Tell me what did I say? How am I supposed to apologize to those who are gone, who I'll never see again? Revolver: It's not pathetic. And there's no need to apologize. Those who are gone haven't completely vanished from your life. They just went ahead earlier. That's what I believe.

Revolver didn't have to bear the brunt of Soulburner's feelings, or let him beat him up in a duel, but that's what Yusaku did for him so you know pay it forward. Revolver's kind of harsh about it, because he can't entirely let go of the facade in the midst of this duel but he's still speaking from the heart and relating to him.

Revolver: But I live my life in a way that won't shame them when I see them again. Soulburner: You're saying I'm living a shameful life. Revolver: Currently, you are. Soulburner: What? Revolver: If you have time to complain, then defeat me. With your duel where you burn your soul! To overcome the hardships in your heart you have to become stronger. Yusaku: Revolver, are you trying to become soulburner's greatest test?

This right here, this is a protagonist speech. Revolver has more in common with Soulburner than shared survivor's guilts, they are both more subdued and quiet in the real world, while having overly bombastic online personas. Revolver is defined by his overwhelming sense of responsibility, Takeru got involved in the main plot because he felt like he was wasting his life away while people like Playmaker were dueling to save the entirety of the link vrains. Even their decks mirror one another, Revolver's dragons destroy themselves and constantly come back, and the entire central mechanic of Salamagreats is that they go to the graveyard then cycle back onto the field in stronger and stronger links.

Takeru is so important to Revolver's character that the mask he's been hiding behind the entire series doesn't shatter until his final loss to Soulburner. It's only through the conclusion of the duel with his second character foil that Takeru and Revolver are able to find a bit of liberation from each other. Revolver can abandon the villain persona and leave on a journey of atonement, and Soulburner can abandon his hero persona and return to his normal life and eventually forget and move on from the incident.

#ygo meta #yu gi oh vrains #yugioh vrains #ryoken kogami #revolver #varis #takeru homura #theodore hamilton #soulburner #yugioh vrains meta #vrains meta #playmaker #yusaku fujiki

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misteria247 · 10 months ago

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So I'm going to ramble a bit cuz I've been noticing that there's a lot of split opinions on Timmy Turner that rage from people adoring him flaws and all to people thinking that he's a little shit. So I decided to throw in my thoughts cuz it's been awhile since I've analyzed a character and I've got some thoughts fam lol. Please don't take this personally cuz this is just my opinion.

I think one of the main reasons why Timmy gets such a mixed reaction from fans is because a lot of his actual story is played like a sitcom. It's not placed in a more serious way, though there are moments where it is, it's quickly glossed over. If you take away the sitcom setting and the attempts of comedy and whatnot you actually get a rather horrible reality for this 10 year old boy. And with it suddenly a lot of his actions and attitude makes a lot more sense.

Timmy when introduced is a 10 year old. He's a child but he's also old enough to know the basics of right and wrong. Much like any kid. He gets his fairy godparents, Cosmo and Wanda because he was deemed to be a child in need of help. This whole scenario is played for laughs and whatnot but like, Timmy's life is actually horrid. He's abused by his babysitter, is tormented by school bullies, is essentially harassed by his teacher and is neglected by his own parents. This is his every day life, from the moment he was old enough to understand this was what he was exposed to and forced to accept. In a way Timmy was forced to grow up a bit faster because of it but not to a point where he completely lost the magic of childhood. When you think about this in a more serious way, things start to click together more.

Timmy's behavior when he gets snappy or creates mischief is a way to get attention from his parents. It's not a good kind but it's something. Or when he acts cold and selfishly, while it could be chalked up to being a kid, I could also argue that he might have actually learned it. Cause who else in his life puts their wants and desires before others? Who else doesn't think about the consequences of their actions and how it'd effect others? Who else ignores other people's thoughts and feelings when it comes to things?

His parents.

Timmy's parents do this shit constantly. From leaving him with abusive babysitters, to not really interacting with him, to making jabs about how their dreams died when he was born to a bunch of other shitty things. They forget to feed him and always criticize him, they're always jumping at the chance to essentially get away from him. All these things are things Timmy's witnessed and has been on the receiving end of for a decade. And never once does his parents really suffer any consequences. It's a known fact that children watch their parents and absorb information from it. Timmy's behaviors can very well be behaviors he unintentionally learned from them. Which is so sad because whenever Timmy's not acting like this, it's quite clear that he's actually incredibly different.

It becomes clear that Timmy's actually incredibly kind.

There's so many moments where he shows his kindness. From lending Cosmo and Wanda to Tootie, to helping fairies in Fairy World to literally giving his fairies the baby they always wanted to saving the whole world several times with little hesitation. Timmy at his core is a kind boy, but due to his home life and its constant reminders of the people in his life not wanting him. (Hell there was a whole ass episode about the world being better if he hadn't been born, like can you imagine that, it's fucking awful-). So in a way Timmy hides that kindness and rarely shows it because of these things.

Which is why Cosmo and Wanda and eventually Peri are so fucking important.

Cosmo and Wanda from the very beginning where different from everyone else. These fairies while granting some reckless and dangerous wishes, have always had Timmy's best interests in mind. Cosmo and Wanda are the positive influences that Timmy desperately needs, the adults that he actually needs to help encourage and push him towards the right direction. Cosmo and Wanda are always in Timmy's corner, even when he's made a mistake, and are always there to catch him and remind him that he's loved and wanted. In one episode where Timmy sneaks into his godparents castle, at the end when they're putting the picture of Maryann back into the hall of infamy, Timmy's first reaction is to apologize and believe that because he'd made this one mistake that he'd end up there with the other bad kids. Only to immediately be told no, baffling Wanda and Cosmo with the very idea of it.

It's things like this that help Timmy grow and feel comfortable with making mistakes. Cuz what he thought isn't exactly a normal thing. They help Timmy in so many ways and grow to love him as their very own cuz when Timmy allows himself to be well himself he's a rather endearing kid. It's no surprise they get so attached.

There's a lot of other things that I've got in my noggin but I just wanted to say these things for the time being. Maybe I'll update on this later lol.

#oli talks #ooc #muns ramblings #mindless ramblings of a madman #fairly oddparents #the fairly oddparents #fairly oddparents a new wish #fop #fop a new wish #wanda fairywinkle cosma #wanda cosma #cosmo cosma #cosmo and wanda #timmy turner #peri fairywinkle cosma #poof fairywinkle cosma #mr and mrs turner #a bit of a messy study lol

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cosmicatta · 1 year ago

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One Piece Novel: Law — a short analysis

So, after a long time trying to get my hands on the Law light novel, I was finally able to read it recently! And, because I'm an obnoxiously intense person who can't just be normal about things, I found myself taking notes about everything I judged interesting.

And I thought I could share! So here's a mostly improvised essay about the Law novel, how it portrays Law and what it reveals about him as a character.

Some notes before I start:

The edition I've read of this novel is the official Spanish translation by Planeta. When quoting and mentioning numbered pages, I'm referencing that edition.

I originally posted this on Twitter as a thread! If it sounds familiar, that might be why.

For those who haven't read the novel and might want to: be mindful of some trigger warnings, including gruesome medical descriptions, suicidal thoughts, mentions of abuse, and violence in general (I won't be touching on these subjects here though).

These are just my personal impressions, I'm not trying to tell anyone how they should interpret the novel or Law's character. I'm just doing this for fun!

The story takes place right after Cora dies, following young Law's journey as he makes it to Swallow Island and desperately tries to survive. There, he will meet Bepo, Penguin and Shachi, as well as Wolf, a novel-exclusive character that welcomes Law and the boys into his home as a family.

Overall, it's a very short read, agile and straightforward. The style is very juvenile, but that was to be expected, and I'd say it does a pretty good job at capturing the feeling of watching a One Piece episode. The novel does kinda feel like a mini arc.

I'm unsure if light novels can be considered 100% canon in general, but since the contents don't contradict anything from what we've already seen in the manga/anime, I'm going to assume we can at least take the events described in this one as canon.

But I'll leave the plot aside a little bit to focus more on Law's psyche, analyzing everything in the novel as material that helps us further understand him.

The entire book (save from a few specific passages) is written from Law's point of view and in first person, so it offers a more in-depth look at his way of thinking, motivations and ideals.

What I find most interesting in this sense is that the whole story is very centered around Law's kindness. Though he does admit several times that he had wanted to see the world burn when he was under Doflamingo's care (as we already know from the source material), the novel makes it very obvious that Law's true nature is compassionate. His inner voice even explicitly states that he enjoys helping and making others happy. (Quotes roughly translated from Spanish):

P. 27: "And I felt very comfortable collaborating with the task of helping others."

P. 92: "Knowing that I was going to free a person from their pain [...] gave me a joy I had never experienced before."

P. 136: "Just imagining the surprised faces of the Old Man, Bepo and the others brought a smile to my face" [when planning on getting fresh fish for dinner as a surprise].

And, despite living under Wolf's motto of "give to take," Law never expects anything in return for any of his good actions. In fact, he gets furious at Wolf himself when, after saving his life, the old man insists on giving Law anything he demands as compensation.

P. 120: "I didn't save you because I wanted a reward!" [...] They [Bepo, Shachi and Penguin] burst into tears of happiness when they realized that you had survived. That's more than enough for me! [...]" I won't let you belittle their tears!"

But even then, Law keeps arguing that he only saved Wolf "on a whim," much like he would say years later when asked why he chose to save Luffy's life. This is a common theme throughout the whole book (which is also pretty obvious in the manga)—Law doesn't recognize his own kindness.

It's not modesty or shyness, his inner monologue makes it very clear that he doesn't see himself as good-natured, and is often confused at his own motivations.

In their first meeting, when Bepo asks him why he is so nice to him, Law doesn't know what to answer; and after that, when Law finds himself wondering why he's trying so hard to save Shachi and Penguin despite their past history, he blames it all on "doctor's pride."

P. 48: "I wasn't even a good person."

Still, regardless of what Law might think of himself, living in Swallow Island seems to be making him progressively gentler. He was wary and hostile towards Wolf at first, but eventually lets himself trust people again, trying to honor Cora's memory and what he taught Law.

In Swallow Island he builds his new found family little by little, though never letting go of Cora and what he meant to Law.

P. 39: "Cora and I were family, that's what I felt at heart, I had no doubts. We had loved each other without saying it out loud [...] Would I feel the same for the Old Man and Bepo eventually?"

Slowly, he starts finding comfort and joy in community. He lets himself be carefree around his new friends, treating them with open affection, laughing and being surprisingly enthusiastic (although he quickly starts taking his role as a leader very seriously, and sometimes avoids showing weakness around them so as not to worry them.)

Law even gets to become an active part of life in Pleasure Town, where he and the other boys are cherished after 3 years living and working there. He's comfortable with his role in the community and appreciates the people in town. His sense of duty towards them shines especially when the pirates arrive to attack the town.

Again, this contrasts with how Law sees himself even in the manga/anime, where he insists that he acts mostly out of selfishness and only seeking his own benefit (or, in the best of cases "on a whim.")

But the truth is that Law's decisions are almost always related to other people's desires.

In this sense, the concept of guilt is also key to understand Law's motivations and his relationship with the world as a whole. This is especially obvious when it comes to Cora—Law even briefly wishes that they had never met, so that Cora would still be alive (p. 128-129.)

In a way, guilt is what moves Law forward, and what slowly starts transforming into a thirst for revenge, into rage and hatred towards Doflamingo and possibly towards himself too. It's a kind of tragic guilt born out of love.

His love for Cora still haunts him, his last wish for Law is the big enigma that he tries to solve during his 3 years in Swallow Island: be free. What is freedom to Law? How can he fulfill Cora's request? This is the question that gives meaning to the novel.

We know that Law wouldn't feel free until finally taking down Doflamingo and avenging Cora's death many years later, but he hasn't reached that point of determination in the novel yet. Maybe that's what gives the narration that hopeful and optimistic tone, with a young Law that's still finding himself, experiencing wonder in loving again, and learning what it means for him to be true to his values. It's the start of an adventure, and its core theme is love.

The ending illustrates this very well; I especially like the moment where Law names the crew as they're setting sail:

P. 243: "Cora's love that he showed me, Wolf's affection, the trust I had in my companions. One word embodied it all: Heart."

It is love that gives Law a reason to keep going. And I'm so glad that the novel doesn't shy away from this fact and isn't afraid of sounding "sappy" or "corny," because I do believe emotion is a very important part of Law's character.

The epilogue closes with a very interesting quote in the last page:

"You hear that, Cora? This is my... This is our pirate crew."

It is unclear if by "our" he is referring to himself and Cora, as if dedicating this new beginning to him, or if he means him and his crew. I'd personally like to think he means it both ways. But in any case, it's interesting that he openly shares the honor of "owning" his crew with someone else. He is the captain, but not the owner. It's another little way in which his generosity is evidenced.

Overall, it was a very enjoyable read, and it left me wanting more. Obviously, it's not a literature masterpiece, but it gives a lot of interesting material for character analysis, which is super fun.

Finally, here’s a few fun facts for those who can’t/don’t want to read the novel but enjoy the little trivia:

The Polar Tang was built and designed by Wolf.

Law’s first tattoo was "DEATH," and he got it at a local tattoo shop in Pleasure Town at around 15 years old.

Shachi and Penguin are childhood friends and likely met through their parents.

Shachi had always wanted to be a hair stylist.

Law is bad at cooking.

Both Shachi and Penguin are good at cooking, especially Penguin, who worked as a waiter in Pleasure Town.

The Hearts’ jolly roger was collectively designed by Law, Bepo, Shachi and Penguin days before leaving Swallow Island.

Law decided the name of their crew upon setting sail for the first time.

And I think that's all! ♥ I hope my rambling was enjoyable at least!

Edit: I've now posted an analysis of the Ace novels too!

#trafalgar law #trafalgar d water law #one piece #one piece light novel #one piece novel law #one piece meta #irene.ppt

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glowettee · 6 months ago

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analyzing what went wrong (like actually wrong) - part 2/5 🎀

1st post

posted by: glowettee

hey study besties! ♡ mindy here!!!!!

welcome back to my little grade recovery series! now that we've processed our feelings and dried our tears, it's time to put on our detective hats (make it pink, obviously) and figure out exactly what happened. this is where we get super real but super helpful!

♡ the pre-test investigation

let's look at everything that happened before the test/assignment:

study method audit:

were you just reading and highlighting? (spoiler: that's not actually studying)

did you try to memorize instead of understand? (guilty of this in my first year)

were you doing practice problems or just looking at them?

did you create your own study materials or just rely on reading?

i learned this the hard way - highlighting things in pretty colors isn't the same as actually learning them. what helped me was creating my own practice questions and pretending i was teaching the material to my stuffed animals (don't judge, it works!).

♡ the time management tea (sorry for these weird titles, lol <3)

be brutally honest about your study timeline:

last-minute cramming or consistent studying?

how many actual focused study hours? (scrolling through #studytok doesn't count)

did you have a study schedule?

were you taking proper breaks?

i started tracking my actual study time using a cute timer app and realized i was only doing about 20 minutes of real studying in what i thought was a "2-hour study session." yikes!

♡ the environment check

your study space matters so much:

where were you studying? (your bed doesn't count, bestie)

how was the lighting? (dim lighting = sleepy brain)

what distractions were around?

did you have all your materials organized?

i created a dedicated study space with good lighting, my favorite scented candle, and zero phone access. it literally changed everything.

♡ the content breakdown

this is where we get super specific:

which topics gave you trouble?

what patterns do you see in wrong answers?

were there specific types of questions you missed?

did you understand the basics before moving to complex stuff?

(IMPORTANT) make a chart (make it cute but functional) listing every topic and rate your understanding from 1-5. this becomes your study guide!

♡ the test-taking trauma

let's analyze the actual test experience:

did you read all instructions carefully?

how was your time management?

did anxiety take over?

were you physically prepared? (proper sleep, food, etc.)

i started doing mock tests under real conditions and found out i was spending way too much time on early questions and rushing through the rest.

♡ the resource reality check

what help did you actually use?:

did you go to office hours? (they're literally free tutoring)

did you use study groups effectively?

were you using all available resources?

did you ask for help when needed?

confession: i used to skip office hours because they scared me. now they're my literal secret weapon for acing classes.

♡ creating your analysis document

grab your favorite notebook or digital doc and create these sections:

concept confusion list

study technique evaluation

time management analysis

resource gaps

test-taking troubles

improvement ideas

♡ the action plan prep

based on your analysis, start thinking about:

which study methods you'll keep/change

what new resources you'll use

how you'll manage time differently

what help you need to seek out

how you'll prepare differently next time

this analysis isn't about beating yourself up - it's about creating the perfect strategy for your comeback. think of it like analyzing why your skincare routine isn't working - once you know what's wrong, you can fix it!

xoxo, mindy 🎀

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writer-logbook · 2 months ago

Note

favorite things to write about?

Hello 👋

I hope things are going well for you. Thanks for getting in touch ! 💖 (Take care, sweetling, in case you decide not to read the post, at least you hear it now lol. And don't hesitate to share what you like to write as well !)

I am a fan of writing descriptions. So… how about we make a blog entry about it ?

HOW TO... MAKE A GOOD DESCRIPTION

A good description of a space gets all five senses going. For example, if I'm describing a bedroom, I might talk about the furniture placement or the curtains (what I see), the sound the floorboards or tiles might make (what I hear), if the floor is cold (what I touch), or if the room smells musty or has a specific odor (what I smell). In this example, I don't have to worry about taste, lol. It's just like real life: when we walk into a room, our whole body is involved. However, if it serves the plot to emphasize one particular sense, just do it.

If we use metaphors or comparisons, they have to represent the character they follow. That means sticking to their level of world knowledge, vocabulary, and language use. If someone lives in the city and has never been to the countryside, they probably won't use comparisons specific to it. They might do so using phrases like "He thought that must be what wheat looked like." Using the verb "thought," which expresses an opinion, makes the uncertain comparison seem valid because it's presented as perceived rather than factual. Also, descriptions are rarely just factual. They got a lot of emotional depth. This appreciation can be explicit or implied (e.g., pathetic fallacy). And often, this comes through in the use of figures of speech, like comparisons, metaphors, and personifications.

Stick to what's essential. It's not so much about saving time, but more about being practical. Everything in your text has a purpose. Descriptions should do more than just let readers imagine what you're showing them; they should also explain why what they see is important. For example: If your main character (MC) walks down a hallway with photos but doesn't stop and look at them, don't go into detail about the photos. No one will care. BUT, if MC spends a lot of time in their bedroom, it might be interesting to show their "living space" to help the reader understand who MC is and why they stay in their room. This can help the reader connect with the character and understand the plot better. Gentle reminder: keep your story flowing. That doesn't mean it has to be a bunch of actions, but the general rhythm should stay the same. A descriptive moment, which is basically a "pause in the action" because of its reflective nature, has to serve a purpose and shouldn't be gratuitous.

Showing vs. Telling. I have mixed feelings about this approach to writing. It's personal and reflects MY own style, so I'm speaking from MY perspective. I like it when things have a name. I use "telling" a lot, but I use "showing" a lot too, as a process. For example, when I write about fear, I'll describe the states my character goes through and end with "he was afraid." Yeah, okay girl, we get it. If I've given a clear enough description beforehand, this shouldn't be an issue. But I've noticed that ending a passage with its name makes it more emphatic and cuts out any doubt. It's not anxiety, and it's not terror. It's fear—nothing else. This helps me create the effect I'm going for. My character basically goes through phases, analyzes them, and draws conclusions (but that's just because I write sci-fi lol).

CONCLUSION: All these tips should help you write descriptions that give an ATMOSPHERE to your text. The choice of words and narrative voice ensure that your prose is SOMETHING OTHER THAN a biology textbook (but no offense, i love biology ).

BONUS: Here's an example of one of the last descriptions I wrote (which I unfortunately had to translate...):

Auxanne complies. Her steps make the staircase boards creak. She no longer remembers which step to avoid to prevent making noise, so she presses a bit harder than necessary on each one to try to compose a new score of silence. She ignores the photos covering the walls, closes her eyes to the portraits of Julien embracing her in some of them. When she closes her bedroom door, the young girl can't tell if the sad squeak she hears is coming from the rusty hinges or from her single sob that was almost immediately stifled.

It hurts to be here. It's hard to return. But she says nothing, she cannot. So her eyes embrace the room in its entirety, taking in the patchwork on the bed, the stains on the curtains, the beanbag in the upper left corner. There's even still the jacket (too small now) that she left during her last visit five years ago. The only real change she notices is the bath towel placed on the bed and the dust that seems to have frozen on the window frame. Auxanne timidly advances into the room then drops her bags on the floor. Then she lets herself fall flat on the mattress, which gently sags under her weight.

Eyes fixed on the peeling paint on the ceiling, she can't help thinking about her brother and the unfathomable void he left in her young heart. She still doesn't grasp what happened, didn't see it coming. And in the middle of this child's bedroom drowned in memories, sheltered from the bustle of the hallway where footsteps scrape against the floorboards, Auxanne remembers how alone she has felt since Julien's suicide.

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kaeyaswifefromsnezhnaya · 7 months ago

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We don't need Yugi's flashback because their story has been told for a long time. (an analysis) Part 1.

We don't know much about the twins, but I think that's enough because their personal story parallels all the characters in this manga. And we already know it. In this analysis, I will analyze the relationships of Kou with Mitsuba, the fourth secret, Hakubo with Sumire, and Aoi with Akane, because their arcs interpret one big arc of the twins.

1. Kou and Mitsuba. That boy was still that boy.

The main problem for Kou is the "real" Mitsuba. His entire arc is reduced to trying to bring back "that" boy, while Mitsuba's problem is wanting to live as a living person. Kou feels responsible for Mitsuba and wants to help him with his own hands, not someone else's.

He believes that he can make everyone happy, alone. It's really important to him, he's really dedicated to saving Mitsuba. So much so that he won't listen to anyone, even Mitsuba himself - he's so stubborn.

Just like Amane.

The problem is that Kou separates the two Mitsubas, he's completely confused about "who's the real one" and spends his time trying to figure it out instead of cherishing the time he spends with Mitsuba more often.

"You wanted to be my friend, right?" "You wanted to bring back the me you lost, please stay by my side..."

Mitsuba wants that understanding from Kou. "Admit it already, it's impossible, I can't become a _normal_ person, because no one can do that."

Mitsuba knows he's not the same anymore, but he still wants understanding. No one can turn back time, so why not just accept it? Kou is adamant.

And the famous "do you want me to die so we can understand each other better" page.

And then Mitsuba calls Kou an idiot because you can't say things like that. You have to value your life.

So how does this relate to Yugi?

Amane has trouble deciding whether the "new" Tsukasa who came back is the real one, while Tsukasa just wanted some simple human warmth.

Amane thinks he's responsible, thinks he can fix everything on his own, he never listens to anyone, and is very stubborn. It's believed that he tried to fix the big clock to turn back time and bring back the "real" Tsukasa. That's why he doesn't value the time he spends with his brother, because it's not the same. He's fixated on the idea of two Tsukases and a real brother.

"You wanted to bring back the me you lost back then (that birthday), please stay by my side..."

Tsukasa just wanted to spend time with his brother. Deep down, he was waiting for the joy of meeting and understanding from Amane. No one can return Amane to a real living brother, it's all too complicated and even the machinations over time did not solve the problem. And perhaps Amane could have thought that if they both died, it would somehow bring them closer together. Tsukasa is very angry with Amane's actions, because he gave his life in exchange for his brother's health, and he destroyed it so easily, without appreciating it.

2. The Fourth mystery and Mei Shijima.

I won't say much here, and maybe not very deep things, but nevertheless.

"Killing Shijima Mei is all I want." Yes, we have an obvious parallel with killing her twin with a knife, but the reasons for the fourth secret... "I wanted to protect the real you."

Shijima believes that this will bring Mei good. And despite the fact that she tried to kill Mei from the dream world, she still asks her not to leave, even though she is not "real" in the full sense, because it is too painful.

Also, the Fourth hates this fake world. It is too perfect in it, in a way that does not exist in reality.

How does this relate to Yugi?

Amane in the pp arc is parallel to Shijima, Nene just catches their similarity.

Radical problem solving, believing that they alone know what's best, doing horrible things "for your own good." Amane probably killed Tsukasa for similar reasons, believing that somehow it would be better this way. Amane also accepts the current Tsukasa as a fake, but even so, he doesn't want all the yorishiro to be destroyed, he doesn't want his brother to disappear, because losing him again is too painful.

Hanako hates the world of the perfect picture, everything is too easy and wonderful in it, as it was not in his real life, where he had to endure a lot.

3. Hakubo and Sumire. Mystery and yorishiro.

Sumire first appeared before us as proof that yorishiro can be in human form and her story is very parallel to Tsukasa. She had to spend many years locked away in the boundary of the mystery, in the form of the same place where she met her death.

She has not met Hakubo since that day. She hoped that he would come to her, but this did not happen, although Sumire strongly maintained some hope for her own importance to him - "after all, yorishiro becomes what the school mystery cherishes most."

She is tired of her existence, she has no particular purpose and she does not mind disappearing if it will help someone, if she will be useful at least in this way.

Nene asks Sumire what is so good about Hakubo? After all, he is unbearable, and Sumire probably fell in love with him because there was simply no one else. No one was as close to her. It is funny to hear this from Nene, but more on that later.

Sumire was also sacrificed to the hole demon in exchange for a wish, and later became a yorishiro, which is mechanically very reminiscent of Tsukasa. She also has a control complex due to the fact that she could not influence anything in her life.

She would also really like to be mourned and remembered - that is, at least some sympathy in her direction.

Hakubo, on the other hand, had problems expressing his will, and this is the main point of his personal history.

He suffers from the fact that he could have acted differently towards Sumire, these thoughts have haunted him since that day. He understands that he did not value the time spent with her during her life, he was cold in everyday life and he did not save her from death. The guilt for her death lies heavily on him.

"If I lived another life, I would have done things differently." He only grinds this thought in his head, and Sumire sits alone in the boundary, without the support of a loved one nearby.

How does this relate to Yugi?

I will continue this thought in the next post, since the image limit has ended 🙌🏻

Parts 2 and 3

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traumasurvivors · 2 years ago

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Here's a link to a blog post on my personal website on a topic that I think is very important.

I've also put it below the read more for people that don't like external links.

When it comes to healing from trauma, there are a lot of emotions an individual may feel. One of these emotions is anger. Anger is one of the emotions I see invalidated the most. For example, I’ve been told that being angry is “letting the person who hurt me win.” I’ve been told that I’m only hurting myself with my anger and that it’s holding me back from healing. All of these assumptions were wrong.

Anger is often viewed as a bad thing because it can drive a lot of unpleasant behaviours but it can be used for good. While anger can hurt you and others, it doesn’t have to. There is a difference between destructive anger and constructive anger. Destructive anger is often expressed in a way that causes harm to yourself or others whereas constructive anger can be used to better understand your situation and figure out your needs. Constructive anger can be a way to show respect for yourself.

For example, if you’re in a situation with a friend where they do something that makes you angry (for example: cancelling plans, forgetting an important date, etc), constructive anger may involve you stepping away from the situation to figure out the cause of your anger (for example: you feel their actions imply you’re not important to them) so that you can then sit down with your friend and communicate in a calm manner. This may allow your relationship to grow and build with a better understanding of each other. Destructive anger in this situation may involve you yelling at your friend and insulting them, which will likely damage or destroy the relationship. If the hurt your friend has caused makes you want to re-evaluate your friendship, this is valid and there are still constructive ways to end a friendship that will cause the least amount of hurt for all involved. It is also important to note that ignoring the anger and bottling up is likely to cause a bigger blow up down the line or cause “overreactions” to other circumstances.

If anger is bottled up, it can end up coming out unintentionally. You might find you’re getting much angrier at everyday annoyances and disagreements than you might think reasonable. People might push you away or respond badly to your anger, because they feel they do not deserve it - and looking back later, you might feel they don’t deserve it, either. However, because of the anger you’re holding back, you can’t see that in the moment. This is why it is important to think and consider your anger, and listen to what it’s trying to tell you. I have found asking questions of myself to analyze my anger can help, such as in an anger inventory like this one.

While many people see anger as an emotion that causes people to lash out and destroy things, anger can also help to motivate people to create new things. Marches to “Take back the night”, or for “gay pride” have much of their motivation based in anger at injustice and oppression. New laws to better protect survivors of domestic abuse or otherwise help society are often driven by people feeling a huge amount of anger. Properly harnessed, anger can help to take action to change things for the better.

On a more personal level, anger can also be a motivator to improve one’s own life. Many people have used the anger they felt at those who put them down as a motivation toward success. That success might be completing schooling, winning an international athletic competition or publishing a novel. One thing all of those have in common is that they are rarely possible to do with only a little time or a little effort. They are time-consuming tasks which usually require months if not years of work. They can be easy to give up on without motivation - and for many, anger is a big help to keeping that motivation.

It took me years to feel anger. For the first while, I felt ashamed, guilty and like I deserved the abuse I’d endured. Feeling angry at the people responsible for this was a step in my healing. I began putting the blame on those responsible and not myself. I was realizing that I did not deserve to be treated in the harmful ways that I was. This was huge to me as someone that had spent years thinking I deserved my trauma and as a result, future trauma and abuse as well.

There were instances where my anger was destructive, mostly to myself. I engaged in self-harm as a way to vent my anger and it also caused problems in my relationship at the time because I held my anger in and would get really frustrated and project my anger onto my relationship which was not fair to my partner.

Over the years, I’ve learned to cope with my anger more efficiently. What works for someone is largely dependent on them and their needs. For me, it was a literal punching bag to vent out frustrations and journaling. It was sitting down with my anger and treating it like a friend trying to protect me (because it was in a way). It was listening to it and finding the cause. My true anger came from those who hurt me, and in a way, took a part of me. My anger largely came from grief and betrayal. Understanding where it came from did not make it disappear, but it did offer me perspective and allow me to better manage it.

For some, anger is a cover up for other emotions. It becomes a defense mechanism against feeling the sadness, hurt and other emotions that a person does not want to feel. The anger is just the first layer and understanding where that anger comes from, and that the anger is a cover up is a great step in moving beyond it. Feeling the emotions beneath it will play a big part in moving beyond the anger.

Anger is a valid and understandable emotion when it comes to healing from trauma, even if your trauma does not have a specific person to blame (natural disasters and death of a loved one are examples). If the person who hurt you did not mean to or did not know better (like another child), anger is still a valid emotion. You’ve been hurt and you should not have been and it is reasonable to feel angry at this.

For a lot of us, anger plays a part in our healing. And that’s okay! You’re allowed to feel angry. Anger becomes an issue when you allow it to consume you and hurt you or others. The feeling itself is not inherently bad, and it can actually be a good thing. Your anger can be used to help you. It’s what you do with your anger that decides whether it’s helpful to you or not. When I was first told that my anger was “letting the other person win,” I believed that and felt invalidated. I have since realized that my anger has been an important part in understanding my pain and my needs. My anger is not letting someone else win, but letting me win, by helping me to heal.

#my blog posts #i am going to be gradually re-posting my posts #with text under a read more #to make them more accessible to people that don't like external links #anger

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theredch3rry · 8 months ago

Note

Sigh *sits down while looking at her own ten month old notes* (srry im just a girl who spent too much time analyzing sl!shinyduo) the reason why gem is holding a grudge against pearl isnt because pearl killed her. in fact, gem never refers or implies that pearl killed her, but that she played a part on her death (wording is important here, because what she says is "she 2v1'd me!" nothing more, nothing else). which she did, both directly and indirectly: directly in the "yes she started the attack and swung two times at her, and before that hit her with bow shots" way and indirectly in the "pearl attacking gem send her dogs to target her, dogs that made considerate damage and restricted her movement"

gem doesnt care about who killed her; she doesnt hold anything against scar. she cares that pearl choose his side at the end, and this is were the "gem is actually emotion-driven" little thing that some people are realizing takes part: yes, gem killed pearl two times, the first one was a complete accident because the trap was meant for scar, and the second one is special for multiple reasons. despite them arguing in front of the secret keeper about it, gem doesnt try to hide that she feels guilty about killing pearl, and i believe this is the sign that makes pearl trust her enough to get on the camel.

the experience they had together with the camel made them closer in lengths it shouldnt have. by the end of session 8, pearl stopped caring about her death, she had fully forgiven gem. gem, on the other hand, probably felt closer to pearl than with her own alliance.

and in session 9 it's made clear the lengths that gem was willing to go for whatever-tf they had together. gem doesnt resent pearl for choosing the mounders, gem chose scott and impulse. gem, just like pearl did for her, avoided hitting or attacking pearl for as long as she could; pearl knew that, of course she knew that.

at the end it’s all about perspectives: gem thought that pearl would choose her because of their special bond, after the mounders were gone. ofc that doesn happen, and all gem heard as she was dying was pearl cheering for scar after pearl had swung against her (she doesn’t hear pearl asking in the middle of the battle for more time to think, or her request for a sword fight), after she had asked pearl directly "what are you doing?!" in regards of going against her and all pearl answered with was "i don't know". in her pov pearl betrays her because gem didnt attack until pearl did it, it’s a betrayal in her pov because she thought their bond was one that they could return after trying their best with their alliance. she never gets a better understanding of pearl in the finale because, well, pearl didnt provide her of answers. gem dies and she never knew of pearl's side, so now she harbors a grudge born from the actions and missing words.

(pearl isnt bad for doing what she did, just like how gem is in her rights for feeling hurt over what happened. they were just trying to do what they thought was right)

I love this

#pearlescentmoon #geminitay #life series #secret life #shiny duo

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jagiyamoonjo · 4 months ago

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Seo Moonjo's MBTI type (INTJ), an analysis.

I keep seeing people asking for an explanation of Moonjo's Te and claiming that he's an INFJ. Personally, his Te is quite clear to me, so I'll break it down in this post. I'll also explain why he's an INTJ rather than an INFJ or an Fe user. For this purpose, Johan Liebert from Monster will be mentioned and analyzed as well, as I've seen both characters being compared.

I'll start by saying that yes, INFJs can be evil too, but the way they approach things differs from how an INTJ would, even if the ultimate goal is the same. To explain it better, let's take Johan Liebert (INFJ) as an example. Johan's manipulation is Fe-driven, he controls others by tapping into their emotions, fears, and desires, making them feel like their actions are their own choices. He can turn someone into a monster just by planting an idea in their mind, making them believe they wanted it. Moonjo, on the other hand, doesn't manipulate by tapping into people's emotions. Instead of subtly guiding people to self-destruct (like Johan), Moonjo psychologically coerces them directly and puts them in situations that will force them to act a certain way (even going to extremes like drugging them). He also enforces his control with rules, authority, and structure (the rules in the residence, Te). He sees people as variables in his system, and he expects them to follow his personal Fi framework.

Johan's Fe allows him to perfectly understand and mirror emotions to make people feel seen and heard, he's a chameleon. Moonjo has his own deeply personal values (Fi) but doesn't naturally adjust to others' emotions. His kindness is an act and while he's a good actor in the beginning, he can only withhold the show for a bit in passing and shallow interactions. And then when the characters spend more time with him, THEY NOTICE! Some characters, like the policewoman, were initially fooled by his mask but later sensed that something was off. And this is because even if INTJs can mask when it's necessary or strategic, it's tiring and quite cognitively demanding for them, so it makes sense that they can't keep it up forever. INTJs understand that warmth and charm are useful tools and strategic assets, but they don't naturally access them like an Fe user. They can fake it well in short bursts (especially if they're intelligent and observant like Moonjo), but over time, their Te-Fi cracks start showing and they become impatient, blunt, or their real values start slipping through.

Now to illustrate better how Te and Fe play out in action, let's compare both characters' manipulation methods.

Moonjo tries to psychologically manipulate Jongwoo by saying "You really wanted to kill him earlier, didn't you? Think about it. He's a loser, human garbage who watches nothing but weird videos with his door wide open, and he came into your room to touch your things with his dirty hands. I'm sure it gave you the creeps. You don't think you fit in here, do you? 'I'm different from these people'. But you're also kind of anxious. 'What if I end up like them?' No, you think: 'Did I already become one of them by living in a place like this?'". This is Te-Fi dictating Jongwoo's thoughts and feelings. Te is framing reality as cold, harsh facts. "He's a loser, human garbage.", "You think this, you think that", he's not appealing to emotions (Fe), he's presenting them as an objective, irrefutable fact (Te), dictating reality in a way that pushes a logical conclusion: "Since he's garbage, it makes sense that you want to kill him." His Ni also gives him strategic vision, he sees exactly how to break Jongwoo. Te gives him cold rationality, he states things as "logical" facts. And Fi delivers personal attacks on Jongwoo's sense of identity, he makes Jongwoo question who he really is. An Fe user would manipulate based on collective emotion (guilt, obligation, belonging) like we'll see next with Johan.

On the other hand, Johan uses emotional tools like guilt tripping to make people destroy themselves. Here we can see an example of Johan manipulating a detective into unaliving himself. We can see that Johan doesn't force a conclusion outright. Instead, he lays out pieces of information like a trap, leading the man to destroy himself. "It's true that you were seen drinking after you shot him… but something's strange… not one person saw you drinking before you killed him." He's not dictating reality like a Te-user would ("Since he's garbage, it makes sense that you want to kill him.", "You feel/think this, you feel/think that"), he's subtly planting doubts so the man arrives at the horrifying realization himself. And also playing the Fe collectivity with the "Not one person saw you doing what you claim." Johan also says "Can you really meet your daughter and say you've changed?" This is Fe weaponizing shame, guilt, and external perception. "Why are you trying to forget? Or are you just lying? Are you lying to others or are you lying to yourself? (Ti) Did you confirm the boy's crimes? Did you have the right to execute him? (Fe, Fi critic) Do you think that by lying your sin will go away? (Ti)". His questioning is designed to evoke guilt, shame, and internal conflict using the target's own emotions and Ti logical self-examination. Johan isn't just blurting out a conclusion, he's laying a mental trap. This contrasts with the Te-Fi approach, which forcefully dictates how Jongwoo feels or thinks: "You don't think you fit in here, do you? 'I'm different from these people'. But you're also kind of anxious. (Te-Fi) 'What if I end up like them?' No, you think: 'Did I already become one of them by living in a place like this?' (Te-Fi)" Moonjo is literally telling Jongwoo what he thinks or feels. He's literally answering his own questions instead of letting Jongwoo arrive to the conclusion on his own. His tone is also more direct, pushing for a reaction. Meanwhile, Johan makes people feel like it's their own idea by subtly shifting their emotional reality, he creates a social and emotional atmosphere that leads them there without them realizing it. Moonjo doesn't try to make it seem like Jongwoo came to this conclusion on his own. He's directly telling him who he is and what to do.

Here's another example: Moonjo said, "You wanted to kill him when you saw him with your girlfriend, didn't you? (Te pushiness). If you want to kill him, do it (Te command). That's who you really are (again Te-Fi dictating his identity)." While it may seem similar to what Johan does, there's a key difference in approach. Moonjo is not guiding Jongwoo's emotions or planting seeds to make him reach the conclusion on his own like Johan would do. "You wanted to kill him, then kill him." That's Te cutting through hesitation and pushing for results. There's no emotional cushioning, just cause - effect. It's almost like a command rather than a persuasion. He's pushing him toward action, treating emotions like facts "You want to kill him, so act on it."

Johan, on the other hand, doesn't push for direct action like this. Instead, he subtly weaves a narrative to make the person think it was their own decision, creating an illusion of free will. For example, here's a scene of Johan manipulating an orphan into unaliving himself. Johan doesn't just state facts like an INTJ would. He frames everything in a way that emotionally crushes the orphan. "What if your mother pretends that she doesn't recognize you?" This immediately plants a devastating doubt, making the orphan question something he was absolutely certain of. "Who wanted you?" Instead of saying outright "No one wanted you," he forces the orphan to answer that question himself. An INTJ might manipulate someone into acting a certain way but wouldn't frame it in such an emotionally devastating way. Johan is making the orphan feel unworthy of existence itself. That's Fe. Then Johan said this "You'll be able to recognize your mother and she'll be able to recognize you when she sees you. But if no one calls out to you... that means nobody wanted you (Ti)... What will you do then?" Johan doesn't tell the orphan outright that he's unwanted, he makes him realize it himself. He plants the idea in a way that will fester and consume the orphan from the inside. Moonjo on the other hand actually tells Jongwoo he's a killer and that he wants to kill Jaeho: "You wanted to kill him when you saw him with your girlfriend, didn't you? If you want to kill him, do it. That's who you really are." Te is about making things happen, not sitting around processing emotions. If Moonjo was an Fe user, he would try to guilt-trip, emotionally appeal, or manipulate subtly. Instead, he states it as a fact, as if it's already set in stone.

More examples of his Te: Moonjo is also quite bosy with his subordinates from the residence: He keeps treating them in authoritative ways, telling them "Do this, I always have to be repeating myself!", his kindness with others is just an act and it doesn't extend to the people from the residence. He sets rules and structures (Te) for how he operates, making his "art" systematic. When he killed Gi-hyeok, he said "Why did you do that without my permission? There are rules here!" He enforces strict guidelines to ensure things happen according to his plan. Te wants things to be organized, efficient, and executed properly, even if it's within a twisted Fi moral framework. It's obvious that Moonjo cares about rules a lot, but not general rules, HIS rules, and he establishes them, creating a system (Te) to support his Ni-Fi vision ("murder = art", "do what you want when you want to, don't let society dictate what you do"). Te is about structure, efficiency, enforcing order, hierarchy, authority, and following HIS Te-Fi rules. Moonjo cares about control, delegation, and making sure things run according to his system. An Fe user would enforce rules based on social and collective cohesion, or shared values, and if evil, they would use guilt-tripping or emotional manipulation to rule. But Moonjo rules instilling fear, with forceful dominance, with authority and control over others, imposing his Ni-Fi goals over the people from the residence with his Te.

He has also repeatedly told the people from the residence something like "You must follow MY rules, or there will be consequences." For example, once Moonjo told one of the twins "I clearly remember telling you to clean up. This is the problem. You aren't enjoying this situation at all. You're scared, aren't you? Just do as I say. That's the only way you can live here." He's direct, blunt, and instead of emotionally guiding the twin (like an Fe user), he imposes structure and commands. Johan, on the other hand, makes his subordinates want to work for him. Meanwhile Moonjo commands obedience in the moment. Johan would have slowly led the twin to believe on his own that compliance was the only way. Instead Moonjo uses: Ni to read the overall situation, Te to issue a clear, structured command ("Do as I say. That's the only way you can live here.") and Fi to make an internal judgement of the twin ("You're supposed to enjoy this, but you're not. That's wrong").

There's also that scene where Moonjo tells Jongwoo: "Don't ever hide anything from me, do you understand?" that line shows again his Te bluntness. Moonjo uses a commanding tone, he expects obedience and transparency. This is not Fe persuasion, but Te enforcement. He imposes control and demands things to be straightforward and clear, without the emotional and persuasive nuances that Fe might bring. Fe would use a softer approach or an emotional manipulative method to get Jongwoo to open up. That line also contains a bit of Fi because of the personal attachment and possessiveness.

Yet another example of this: Moonjo tells Jongwoo "Kill him with this knife. Then I'll let your girlfriend live. You have no other choice. Why are you hesitating?" That line is dripping with Te dominance because he's ruthlessly forcing a controlled outcome. Instead of "You have no other choice", an INFJ would guide them into believing it's their own choice.

More examples: In the scene where Jongwoo was taken to the police station for beating up the teenagers, Moonjo went to the police station and told this to the mothers "Are you sure you don't want to make a settlement?", the mothers said "No, he (Jongwoo) has to apologise, we'll never make a settlement!" and then Moonjo said "If you make a settlement now, I'll pay you as much as you want, are you sure you don't want to make a settlement?". This is Te, not Fe because Moonjo went straight for a concrete, pragmatic and transactional solution: offering money. There was no attempt to smooth things over emotionally like an Fe user would do. Te is about efficiency, problem-solving, and getting things done in a straightforward manner. Moonjo here directly offers a practical, results-oriented solution (money) to resolve the conflict. An Fe user would likely have approached the situation with emotional negotiation and persuasion. Could an Fe user have offered money too? Yes, but the way they would have approached it would be different. Instead of being so straightforward, they would probably apologize to the mothers on behalf of Jongwoo and try to soothe and persuade the situation smoothly only to then offer the money.

Moonjo also made a scene at the restaurant when he saw Jongwoo fighting with Jaeho. He went and introduced himself and then started to say very blunt things to Jaeho like "You're disgusting", "You're a CEO, that's why you're so full of yourself", "Don't pretend to care about Jongwoo", "You just want his cheap labor and his girlfriend". This is Te bluntness all the way, Te doesn't sugarcoat things. When they speak, it's straight to the point, and often cuttingly direct, especially when they don't see a need to "play nice" and Moonjo saw no need to play nice here. Another thing pointing at Te rather than Fe in this scene is taking control of the situation. Instead of subtly diffusing (or escalating) the tension with charm or persuasion (like an Fe would), Moonjo immediately stepped in, inserted himself into the conflict, and asserted dominance. There was no hesitation, no diplomacy, just bluntness, confrontation, and control.

That's his Te but I also want to expand on his Ni now: "Once I pick my target, I never lose them." This is classic Ni tunnel vision. Ni is about a grand, overarching vision, he's already decided Jongwoo's role in his story, and that will not change. "I don't usually do impulsive things like these, but Jongwoo is very special to me". This is Ni-Fi all the way, Ni Doms are not impulsive at all (except when they're in Se grips), they tend to overthink everything before acting, but in this case it was necessary and deliberate for him to be impulsive because Jongwoo (his artwork, his Fi) was touched. Also the way Moonjo interprets his own actions ("It's not just murder, it's art", Ni-Fi) shows a deep, abstract, and visionary way of thinking. Instead of seeing his actions as simple murder, he constructs a unique, almost philosophical meaning behind them. Ni is all about having a personal vision and seeing patterns that others don't.

Why Fi over Fe? Because Moonjo cares a lot about his own way of seeing the world, his rules are based on his individual twisted moral framework aka "murder = art" or "do what you want to do" (which is why I said, he cares about HIS rules, not general rules). His rules are deeply personal and value-driven, not based on external social norms (Fe) or internal logical frameworks (Ti). Murder isn't just random or practical for him, it has subjective meaning tied to his identity (Fi). He also has a subjective sense of right and wrong, even if it's completely different from society's norms and an internalized sense of purpose (Ni) that doesn't need external validation. These rules are his own internally constructed moral code (Fi). And he enforces them rigidly with Te, which is why he gets mad when his subordinates break them. His attachment to his work feels deeply personal and internal, it's his vision, his rules, and his sense of meaning, regardless of what others think. That's classic Fi rather than Fe.

He also says things like "It's better to say what you want to say, to hate who you want to hate, to do what you want to do, to kill who you want to kill, that's more human". He's saying people should act authentically, based on their own desires, regardless of how that affects others. That's Fi, not Fe. Fi is about authenticity and staying true to one's inner compass, even if it conflicts with societal norms. His Ni is also noticeable there because of the way he frames this as a hidden universal truth ("that's more human"). He's not just saying "I individually feel this way" (pure Fi), he's presenting a grand, abstract perspective on what it means to be human, which is an Ni trait, as in "I see a deep truth about human nature." (Ni), "That truth is about acting on personal wants without restrictions." (Fi).

When Jongwoo asked him "Why do you do this?" His answer was: "Does there have to be a reason? It's human instinct to chew on the weak and enjoy while they suffer." This is a personal moral framework that doesn't rely on external justification. It rejects Fe-style rationalization and it suggests internal authenticity: "I do what I do because I feel like it, not because I need to explain it. I do what I do because I enjoy it." Ni is noticeable too: "It's human instinct to chew on the weak." because it's a deep, abstract insight into human nature and it sounds like a universal truth he has "realized" (deep, deterministic view of human nature, Ni sees patterns and believes in an inevitable truth).

So combining his functions, Ni gives him a grand vision, his Te enforces structure and rules to bring that vision to life (the rules he sets in the residence) and his Fi attachment makes it personal, meaning he doesn't see his work as just a task, it's meaningful to him on a deep, almost sacred level. When he said "You're the best masterpiece I've ever created." his deep personal attachment to his "creation" can be beheld. This is Ni-Te-Fi at work. To compare it with Johan's goal and vision, Johan has a nihilistic philosophy where his Ni and Ti have rationalized that human life is meaningless and he works towards that goal because that's how the universe works and that's how things are supposed to be. It's not because he feels like to, it's not because he enjoys it. His Fe-Ti axis gives him a detached, logical perspective, his Fe understands people and society at a deep level, but instead of forming personal attachments to his goals (Fi), he manipulates social dynamics (Fe) to reinforce his nihilistic vision (Ni-Ti). His Ti further supports this by analyzing and rationalizing his beliefs, making them seem like objective truths rather than personally meaningful missions (Fi). That's Ni-Fe-Ti at work. In contrast, Moonjo feels emotionally invested in his "creations." That's why he sees Jongwoo as his "masterpiece" rather than just another project. Johan wouldn't say something like that because, for him, there is no inherent meaning, only the inevitability of how things function.

So to put it simply, an Fe user like Johan, instead of just enforcing a system to execute his plans efficiently (Te), manipulates people emotionally, getting them to accept his vision through psychological influence (influence NOT coercion). Instead of ordering people around with strict rules or offering transactional solutions (Te), Johan whispers just the right words to make people destroy themselves or do what he wants, manipulating their emotions and letting them make their own choices, choices he has already calculated. On the other hand, Moonjo isn't emotionally guiding Jongwoo like an Fe user would. Instead, he's shaping him like a piece of art, forcing him to act a certain way until he becomes what Moonjo envisions. This is Ni-Te-Fi, not Ni-Fe-Ti. Moonjo puts Jongwoo under extreme conditions until he "breaks" into the person Moonjo wants him to be. Johan would psychologically manipulate Jongwoo into wanting to kill on his own, making him believe it's his natural conclusion. Moonjo just forces him into situations where he has no choice but to evolve. That's more Te-Fi pressure than Fe-Ti persuasion. He forces Jongwoo to conform to his artistic vision. In this sense, Moonjo is more similar to Hannibal (who's also an INTJ).

Finally, what about Moonjo's demeanor? INTJs don't always have to be rude, fun-hating, grumpy, or even constantly serious. Moonjo's kind, attentive, and polite "role model" persona might make people mistake him for an INFJ, but that façade is only active when he's around people who don't know him well, like those who have only spoken to him a few times, such as in his dentist's office or during his Saturday volunteering. However, as soon as people get to know him better, the mask slips, revealing glimpses of his true nature.

This "perfect" persona doesn't necessarily point to Fe either, it can just as easily stem from Ni-driven perfectionism. Politeness and kindness function as tools, and both Ni-dominant types tend to strive for perfection. Contrary to popular belief, INTJs can play the social game too, they just prefer not to unless it benefits them. In Moonjo's case, this entire persona is pure strategy. If an INTJ is intelligent enough and sees masking as useful, they can absolutely fake a warm persona when it serves a purpose. Their Ni allows them to understand systemic structures and play the part of a "model citizen" when necessary, but it remains a controlled persona that's hard to maintain for long. This is evident in the fact that Moonjo's kindness is only used in certain situations, not always, since it's a calculated strategy designed to efficiently achieve his Ni-driven goals.

INTJs chase an idealized version of their vision, and everything (rules, people, and systems) must align with it. INFJs do this as well, but their methods differ. INTJs rely on Te, enforcing rules and creating systems to bring their vision to life, a vision they're personally attached to (Fi). And INFJs use Fe, persuading people and shaping social environments through emotional influence to bring their vision to life, a vision that makes logical sense to them (Ti).

#strangers from hell #hell is other people #seo moonjo #johan liebert #intj #naoki urasawa's monster #seo moon jo #mbti #mbti personality types #monster anime #intj mbti #mbti personalities

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dhruvkumaar · 6 months ago

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How to read like a writer

If you’ve ever followed any Writergram accounts on Instagram or Twitter, I guess you’d have heard this advice—read like a writer.

People can’t stop glazing about how it’s one of the best pieces of advice any beginning writer could get, how it’s one of the most important skills to study prose and create your own, and all that. But, as you could’ve guessed, there’s a lot of unpacking to be done here.

What does it even mean to read like a writer? How’s it different from reading like a reader, or just for fun? And, how the frick do you even read like a writer?

I had to rant about something, and that’s the topic I’ve chosen today. So, here’s my two-cents on it.

***

#01 - The Basics

So, what does it mean to read like a writer?

I believe that reading like a writer is a form of reading prose where you’re conscious of the artistic decisions the author makes throughout the piece. For example, if there’s a high-stakes action scene, probably a fight scene or something, and you notice that the average length of sentences has suddenly become shorter and punchier.

Firstly, you need to understand that there’s a lot of such artistic decisions that writers take while writing a piece. And, every writer does that. These decisions are primarily related to writing-style, but are also focused on the story-structure, character-development, themes, and more.

For clarity, let’s divide them into two types of decisions—micro-level decisions and macro-level decisions. Micro-level decisions would include the writing-style, scene-descriptions, and all that stuff. Primarily, stuff that you can notice on the very page itself. It’d relate to the sentences instead of the plot. Refer to the example above again—that’s a form of micro-level decision.

Macro-level decision would be an artistic decision where you need to complete the whole, or a big chunk, of the piece to point them out. Such macro-level decisions would relate to the plot instead of individual sentences. For example, the decisions they’ve made regarding the plot, characters, and the underlying themes of the prose.

I tried my best to make the distinction as clear as possible. I hope you guys understand them clearly.

Anyway, each type of artistic decision would need to be checked in a different manner, y’know. To analyze macro-level artistic decisions, you’d need to probably finish the whole novel and do some research and brainstorming related to the themes of the story and the way the author discussed those said themes in their work.

It takes some time to get into the head-space to analyze the story and its themes. And, you might need to recap the story in some form or the other, y’know. At least, I need a little recap. Because generally, it takes me months to complete a novel or TV series. Or manga series. Or anime. Or anything else I need to analyze.

… And that’s because I start a lot of stuff before I finish the previous ones. Not gonna lie, I’m reading around four-five novels at the moment, a couple of which are web-novels on RR, along with three manga series. Please don't ask me why I do that, I hate it myself.

Anyway, now onto the second type: the micro-level artistic decisions. This is where you need to be really conscious while reading the work. In fact, I believe that these forms of decisions are what people generally mean when they talk about reading like a writer.

Micro-level artistic decisions, like I said earlier, include sentence-structures and writing-style of the author. And yeah, it’s really easy to slip out.

I’d like to refer to my favorite lit-fic The Road, by Cormac McCarthy, as an example. Reading the work, you’d see that the style feels… barren. The scene-descriptions are a pain to read; the vocabulary is just too hard. But, vocabulary becomes a lot easier during dialogues. That’s because the scenes are a pain to see, while the characters are losing their power to communicate effectively. I talk about it in detail in a previous blog:

But, man, maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be. Maybe that’s why McCarthy wrote the descriptions in this way—to symbolize the mental stress that the characters go through as they experience this world, this form of reality that they were not meant to be in.

And maybe the novel is so lacking in narrations because the characters’ minds have gone numb. They’re forgetting language. With almost zero human interaction most of the time, they are forgetting how to think and interact in words. You lose the skills you don’t really use anymore, y’know. And these guys are so obviously depressed, so they don’t think about the world. They are used to the sad reality they live in. No point in complaining how bad the food is if that’s all you’re gonna eat all your life.

So, a scarcity of narrations tell you a lot about the story and its characters. It reflects something, it symbolizes something.

Also, if you read about Kafka’s The Metamorphosis, you’d observe how the author’s writing-style is often bland and indifferent. That says something about the characters and the plot too—it keeps the readers detached from the story, forcing them to adopt a third-person POV where they can constantly judge the plot and the characters.

Understanding the micro-level artistic decisions also include understanding the different nuances in different authors’ style. For example, sometimes you’d see that authors write scene-transitions like this,

We talked it through, and decided that it’d be the best to continue the conversation once we’re in the safe vicinity of this house. School was dangerous for such serious conversations—what if somebody hears us out and report us to the police?

So, we shut up as we boarded the bus, and twenty minutes later, we were pulling through his house’s driveway. We both stepped outside and…

Personally, I’m not a big fan of such transitions. I’d rather use three asterisks instead, like I do with my blogs here.

***

When to read like a writer and when not?

Yeah, that can be a mess. You don't need to have the writer's eye open every single time you’re reading something.

Personally, I use a trick. I only read like a writer when I feel that the piece is really different from the type of prose I generally consume, y’know. For example, I’m reading Markus Zusak’s The Book Thief. The blurb says that the novel is narrated by Death, which is something quite interesting. Apparently, Death appears in the story as a character, acting as a third-person narrator.

However, the story is not third-person omniscient POV. Quite the opposite, actually, for we see the narration alternating between the thoughts of the protagonist and the all-knowing omniscient narrator Death, which makes the writing-style of the novel quite interesting.

So I read the book as a writer—all the way, I’m figuring out how the author masterfully blended both third-person limited and third-person omniscient narrative styles and used the best of both worlds to fully utilize both of them and paint such an amazing writing-style. I don't think I could ever pull that off, to be brutally honest. It’s just awesome what Zusak has pulled off in the prose.

Anyway, I derailed too much. The main point I was tryna make is that The Book Thief is different from what I usually consume—third-person limited POV web-novels. So, I do have to read like a writer. I probably won’t be reading like a writer if I was reading yet another RR web-novel or fantasy light-novel, y’know.

Another factor you might want to consider is if you like the prose or not. If you believe that you really love the novel and want to write something like it, you better study it a little. After all, you’d be writing what’s interesting to you.

A third factor: classics. If the prose is a classic, you might learn something from it. I mean, there must be some reason it’s stood the test of time, y’know, and people are still reading it. Yeah, sometimes, the style just seems outdated, and you likely won't be adapting it. But there are some gems in it too. The Great Gatsby is a really good novel to learn first-person POV.

… And that reminds me, I still haven’t finished The Great Gatsby either. Even though I’ve been reading it for more than a year.

***

#03 - Conclusion

All of this might feel a little overwhelming for you guys. I can understand that.

I mean, that’s just too much information to think about, y’know. And you might not be able to catch up on most of them. Heck, you might not be able to understand any nuances between different authors’ styles at all!

But, just don't give up, pal. It’s kinda tough out here, yeah, but that’s alright. Keep reading, keep practicing it out. You’d get there.

Keep reading and keep writing. That’s all it takes to become a great writer. But, doing both your reading and writing mindfully is what matters the most.

Subscribe to the FictionStudent newsletter to get latest blogs like this straight into your inbox. Also check out the website, as well as my Instagram and Twitter—where I might start posting soon. To be honest, I still don't know how to use social media as a writer, but I’d be trying.

Meet you in the next blog. Till then, bye-byeee!

#writers and poets #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writeblr #writing advice #creative writing #writing #writing resources #writing stuff #on writing #writing help #writing life #writers #writing tools #writers life #writer stuff

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