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gold-rhine · 1 year

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Afab! Scaramouche x GN! Dom reader first time

A\N: I guess technically it’s hurt\comfort. sigh. I don’t like to center my writing of trans characters on negative emotions, if you’ve read my previous stuff, you know when I write afab! male characters it’s like. Just guys, who happen to have pussies, having sex. And that’s how I initially started to write Scara’s afab first time prompt, but his canon storyline is so overtly about struggle of dysphoria, anxiety and self-hatred that it felt wrong to not incorporate it into my explicitly trans fic. So I had to rewrite it completely and I’m taking his part out of the compilation so ppl who want to avoid heavy topics and just have a good time reading smut can skip it. Otherwise, give it a try if you like complicated brats, I think it’s one of my good pieces and it has a happy ending.

Warnings: not sfw. graphic descriptions of dysphoria, anxiety attack, dissociation, angst, self-hatred, allusion to self-harm. Fingering, edging, overstim, spanking, oral (character receiving), vaginal sex. Cock stands for strap too, as usual.

Wordcount: 2k

You try to start slow and gentle with him, but he huffs mockingly.

“How long are you going to be wasting my time?”

“This is literally your first time, you little git.”

“Maybe you mortals need to be coddled, but I’m not a weakling.”

But despite his bravado, he’s tense when you kiss him, he doesn’t know how to properly kiss you back and what to do with his hands, so they just limply hang down. When you start opening his clothes to reveal his chest, he’s becoming more and more wooden. You try kissing him, his cheek, his neck, but it doesn’t relax him and he refuses to meet your eyes, still painfully clenched up, jaw locked tightly, like he’s preparing for something bad that he needs to just get through. He is not out publicly yet, still clinging to the belief that if he conforms to her expectations well enough, his mother will accept him. He’s so critical of himself all the time, especially of his body, which is just horrible and wrong, he hates seeing it himself and hates even more the thought of someone else seeing him naked.

“Hey, are you okay?” you ask quietly. “We can stop.”

“No!” he snaps. “I’m great. I don’t need to stop, are you stupid?!”

He wants you, is the thing. He wanted you for some time, got butterflies in his stomach, fantasized about you at nights. He wanted you more than anyone else in his life. So if he can’t bear even for you to see him, to have sex with him, then obviously something is deeply, fundamentally broken in him, no hope for him at all.

So desperately, he tries to find a roundabout solution. He’s still wearing a skirt, which he normally hates, but now it’s convenient, you could fuck him without taking it off.

“We don’t have to take off my clothes. There’s nothing good to see anyway. ”

He sounds frantic and frustrated, eyes alight with anger, and this does not look like a good situation to continue to you.

“It’s not a big deal, we can do it some other time when…”

“It’s just a cunt, you don’t need to see it!” He finally meets your eyes and you realize the brightness in them is not from anger, it’s from held back tears, because he believes you are rejecting him no matter what you say, “Why wouldn’t you just fuck it?!”

He hates his body and he doesn’t even want to have a pussy, but somehow subconsciously he feels like the one he has is also wrong, not even good enough for fucking, that whoever sees it will also recoil in disgust, as he does when he sees himself in the mirror. It’s ridiculous and he knows it, but he can’t help feeling like this, and he hates himself even more for this idiotic, nonsensical weakness, so this spirals into this vicious, unending cycle of self-disgust that he can’t see a way out of. What the fuck is so wrong with him that he can have a person he wants so much touching him and still be petrified, when it’s so easy for everyone else, and when…

You scoop him into your arms, turn him around so he doesn’t have to face you and hug him close to your chest. When he gasps and tries to protest, you clasp your hand over his mouth, kiss his ear.

“Don’t worry baby, I won’t look. But you need to calm the fuck down.”

He wants to struggle, but he’s so touch starved that when you embrace him, your warm breath on his skin makes him melt, especially combined with the wave of relief from your promise. He stops fighting you, curls up into a little ball in your arms, hiding his blushing face in a pillow, humiliated by how good it feels to be held, how little it takes.

“You don’t want me,” he says, miserable, but stubbornly proud, when you let go of his mouth. “You just pity me. I don’t want you to be here just because you feel bad for me.”

“I want you. I just wouldn’t want to fuck someone while they’re having a nervous breakdown. You or anyone else, for that matter.”

“It’s fine,” he says firmly. “I’m fine. I will be fine. Just do what you want to me, ignore my reactions, and soon I won’t even feel anything. It’s okay. I’m a puppet.”

It’s the conviction in his voice, the absolute certainty that there’s no better option that breaks your heart a little.

“Fucking hell, do you even hear yourself?”

“Why?” he says, face pressed against pillow, but calm, limp in your arms, a puppet with cut strings, and you hate it. ”It’s true, I am not like normal humans. You don’t have to treat me as one. It’ll be easier for the both of us, in the end.”

Maybe I just want you to feel good, baby.”

“Pffft,” he snorts like it’s ridiculous, like you’re naive and this option is not even on the agenda, and also so stupid he doesn’t even want to argue about it. “Even for humans, first time is supposed to be painful.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“No, everyone knows it, and…”

You clasp your hand over his mouth again and he starts squirming, noises muffled by your palm, but his protests die down as soon as your other hand starts siding down his body.

“You’re so bossy for a little brat, aren’t you?”

You flip up his skirt and slap his ass, and he jolts up in your arms, gasps against your skin. You stroke the affected skin first gently, then with more and more pressure, until groping it, fingers digging into his tender flesh. “Maybe be a good doll and let me handle this for you.”

He didn’t know it could feel like this, not even when he came thinking of you before, so good, like he’s safe, being taken care of, but also so sweetly helpless, unable to resist. His head is light and dizzy with desire when you caress his thighs, nervously and instinctively clenched up, and he can’t remember his millions of concerns when you whisper “Open up for me, baby.”

He lets your hand between his legs, you slide into his panties and find him already wet, but when you stroke his clit and quietly tell him “Good boy,” it runs through him like lightning, eyes opening wide, moan escaping from his lips, his entire body arching up against you.

“Yeah, that’s right, baby,” you keep caressing his clit, and he writhes more and more against you. “Doesn’t it feel good?”

His hand grips abruptly at your wrist, his slender fingers digging deep, and for a moment you think he’ll try to tear you off him, but then you realize that instead, he presses you closer to himself. You smile against his neck, the hand that kept at his mouth slides down, stroking his throat and down to his chest. At the same time, you slide your other hand deeper in between his legs, find his wet, pulsing entrance. You push two fingers into him, and he shudders against you, his fingers clenching at your wrist, but his cunt is wet and ready for you, stretching sweetly and leaking, his hips bucking against you. His breath is quick and frantic, heart beating rapidly, and then his fingers find your hand that isn’t buried inside of his pussy, leads it down his chest and then under the clothes, under the bra, to find and caress his small tits, and he whines sweetly, arches up, hard nipples poking at your palm. But when you take your fingers out of his pussy and press the head of your cock against his entrance, he tenses up again, his muscles spasming.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! Just do it! It’s supposed to feel good for you when it's tight, isn’t it? So just fuck it, I can take it!”

He shuts up with a tiny gasp when you press your teeth into the side of his neck, which lets you keep groping his tits.

“I’ve never met someone, for whom a ballgag is so obviously needed for survival before. It’s going to be okay, baby, relax.”

You stroke his clit and massage his breasts, cutting his protests short, his hands clutching helplessly at yours, not trying to stop you, but just trying to be grounded.

“What if it’s not going to be okay?” he asks quietly, his face buried in a pillow. “What if I’m just built wrong, if it’s just always going to hurt when you try to fuck me?”

��Then we’ll figure out something to do that doesn’t involve penetrating your pussy. It’s not that hard, baby.”

“You would do that for me?”

“Of course, don’t be ridiculous. I’m not going to leave you just because I can’t fuck your cunt.”

“Really?” he asks, choked, trying for sarcasm, but failing badly, a raw edge in his voice.

you would just switch to eating him out, but he seems pretty hung up on the inability to take you in, but from how easy it was to fit your fingers into him, how he seemed to enjoy it, you’re pretty sure the issue is psychological. So you stroke his clit, squeeze his breasts and kiss at the side of his jaw. You can feel his entrance involuntarily pulsing open and you push the head of your cock into him, feeling him stretching wider. He turns his head to you in alarm, but you catch his mouth in a kiss, keep caressing his body and slowly moving deeper into him. His fingers move from your wrists to intertwine with your hands, and when you squeeze back, he comes so quickly in your arms, before your cock is even fully sheathed inside of him.

You hold him through the orgasm, then slide out of him, but then he turns in your arms, until he’s under you, he’s looking up at you, instead of being held.

“I want more,” he breathes out, hot and heavy, and before you can think of the answer, he pulls his clothes open, opening his bra and revealing his chest, and then tugs his skirt and soaked panties down. He lies under you, both trembling and determined, his breath fast and nervous for exposing himself to you after trusting you won’t be disgusted with him, that you’’ll *want him*.

“You’re so beautiful,” you run your eyes over him and kiss him, hard, and he presses himself against you, kisses you back with desperate abandon, but still when you break away from each other, he asks, his voice small. “Really?”

In response, you pepper him with hungry kisses, from the neck down the chest, ribs, stomach until you cover his swollen pink pussy with your mouth, while he’s leaking sweetly under your lips. When he comes, and he comes quickly, moaning loudly, you pull him close and kiss his lips with the taste of his own arousal.

“Really,” you tell him softly, while he’s blushing, soft and squirming against you. He shoots you a wry little look that you already came to associate with trouble coming, and says, trying to sound superior, but failing because of mischievous little smiles breaking his act

“So you like this body? That’s so degenerate of you, who would even like something so ugly and…”

He yelps and shuts up when you forcefully turn him over to lay on his stomach and slap his ass, but he looks pleased afterwards.

“There are much better ways to get spanked, you little brat.”

He arches his back, popping up his ass and spreading his thighs to show off his wet flushed pussy, entrance pulsing up open for you. Then he looks at you over the shoulder, eyes glinting in excitement, and sticks out his pink little tongue at you.

“Oh really?”

#rhine writes #rhine writes filth #sub genshin #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #sub scaramouche #sub wanderer #scaramouche

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chrisredfield73 · 5 months

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Could you do a reader who accidentally tells the tf2 mercs they're gay/queer in sexuality? With some angst from the reader because they're worried it'll affect how the mercs see them. And depending on the merc, some comfort?

This is a bit self-indulgent as I am a girl who likes girls, but it can be written for anyone

The reader is meant to be a teen so it's strictly platonic!

A/N: As a gay trans guy, I understand the angst and fear! Thank you for requesting!!

For Spy's part-

Mon chou means 'my cabbage' (weird term of endearment for kids but it's really sweet)

--------------------------------------------------------------

You let it slip, accidentally, but it immediately made you panic. You mentioned liking the same gender as you. The fear of not being accepted hit you like a tidal wave, as you stare wide eyed at the merc in front of you..

Scout:

He's surprised, to say the least.

He definitely makes a snarky and sarcastic joke, but he quickly shuts up when he notices your fear.

"Hey now.. Don't get all nervous on me."

He's pretty supportive overall, giving you some reassuring comments and a pat on the back.

"Listen.. I don't know how all the other guys would react, but I'm okay with it. Don't worry, I won't say anything."

He may make some hints about it to the others, but he doesn't go too far.

He also definitely would help you find a s/o and he would beg to hear who you like.

Soldier:

Now for this big himbo, it's a 50/50.

He either doesn't hear or get what you've said, or he heard it and he's judging you.

"What was that, maggot?"

If he didn't hear you or understand you, you could definitely play it off as a joke. He'd probably laugh it off with you, not even noticing how nervous you are.

If he heard you and is now judging you, he's staring at you through narrowed eyes. "You're queer?"

He's definitely not supportive... At first. You could probably, eventually, get him to come around and be supportive.

He has that mentality of, "I was raised thinking it was wrong so it's wrong."

Pyro:

When he heard you say that, it's completely obvious he supports you.

He gives you a thumbs up and a hug for reassurance.

"Mff mff mm mmff."

You're not sure what he just said, but you can tell it was something supportive by how he just acted.

He helps make sure you're comfortable, even giving you gifts that are discreet pride flag colors.

If any of the other guys catch wind about it, you can bet that Pyro will be there to stand up for you.

Demoman:

Another one of the guys that's 50/50 about it.

If he's drunk, he's either not going to act supportive, when he actually is, or he's not going to be paying attention to anything you just said. "What..?"

In the rare occasion that he's not drunk, he's very supportive and will give you a hug.

"Ey there, lass/lad, no need to worry. It's alright with me."

He is one of the supportive ones, despite being an idiot when he's drunk. He's proud of you for being yourself, even if you're not out to everyone.

Heavy:

He's shocked, looking over at you with wide eyes.

He doesn't say anything for a moment, before noticing your anxiousness.

He's not super supportive, but he's not going to judge you about your preferences.

"Heavy is not mad. Heavy is happy you're happy."

He gives you a pat and maybe even rubs your back, trying to help you feel better.

He won't tell anyone about it, he's the second best secret keeper on the team.

"Heavy won't tell anyone, Heavy pretends he never heard it."

Engineer:

He's caught off-guard, but he's supportive 100%.

"Oh? I never would've thought..."

He gives you a reassuring smile and hugs you gently.

"Don't worry, kid. I won't tell nobody. You have my word."

He's the first best secret keeper, and he's basically the supportive dad of the team.

He'll, much like Pyro, also get you discreet pride gifts to show he supports you and to make you feel better.

All in all, Engineer is the best to share things with, he's a calm and gentle soul who just wants to see you happy.

Medic:

He had his suspicions, he suspects a lot of things about a lot of people.

"Oh? You like women/men?"

He's pretty supportive, but he's not a very touchy person. He'd prefer to not have a ton of physical contact.

He gives you a quick rub on the back before pulling away.

"I'm not going to judge you, there are things far worse than not being straight."

He's not the best for comfort but he is, at least, mostly supportive.

Sniper:

He stops what he's doing and turns to look at you, his expression and emotion unreadable.

"You... You're what now?"

He notices you panicking and steps over to you, offering you a small smile.

He gently ruffles your hair and chuckles, "Easy now, roo. Calm down. I'm not judgin' ya, I'm just confused."

He's okay with you elaborating on your sexuality, and he's okay with you not talking about it anymore.

He's also good at not telling anyone about your sexuality, he prefers to keep to himself anyway.

Spy:

He let's out a low hum, raising a brow. He definitely didn't expect that.

"...Hmm?"

He's polite, not teasing you or making fun of you.

He doesn't really understand but he's not going to go out of his way to judge you or make fun of you.

"Don't worry, mon chou. I'm not going to judge you."

He sets down his cigarette in his ashtray and pulls you in for a hug.

He's one that doesn't like physical affection very much, but seeing you in slight distress makes him want to comfort you.

He almost thinks of you like his child, and he just wants to see you happy.

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grave-z-boy · 8 months

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Right so I love your writing and just need more mx m cause fuck I'm tired of imaging dead me .

I'm a Trans man..I think ( female to male ??) So I was hoping for a fic somewhat like that . Arthur and reader meet when they're female but 2 years later or so they meet again and arthur doesnt recognize y/n (because they transitioned) I just want some fluff and acceptance of that . I know back then homosexuality was a big no no and being trans is unheard of so it'll be fun to see where you take it.

Arthur Morgan x Trans!Male!Reader

Summary: You’ve felt stuck and unhappy for years, so, in pursuit of your own happiness you leave everyone and everything you’ve even known behind. Including your currently out of state lover, Arthur Morgan.

Word count: 6,011

Warnings: reader is a bartender, reader steals, readers sister and mother are mentioned, implied past sex between Arthur and reader, drinking and alcoholism mentioned (not reader or Arthur), y/n and his guns, guns mentioned, shooting mentioned, abandonment, hurt comfort, reader being One Of The Guys™️, sleep deprived Arthur, Tilly being helpful, reader get misgendered and deadnamed a lot but it’s before they knew he was trans, reader cries really fucking hard at one point Arthur being sleep deprived, sleep deprive Arthur being really gay for Reader, not mentioned in the story but the reason Arthur is so tired is because about half way though his second trip to town his horse bucked him off for pushing her too hard and he had to walk the rest of the way, worlds longest warning list damn

Sept. 15, 18XX

My Dear Arthur Morgan

It’s been thirteen months since I saw you last. The time has passed slowly for me- sometimes it felt as though I was standing still for days at a time. Like everyone and everything around me was moving forward- but for me, and only me, time stood still. In the months since you’ve left it seems my joy, as well as a my love for my home town, has dwindled to nothing. Staying here, the way I am, it pains my heart. I know I said I would be here, that I would wait for you to return. But I need to change and the change that I need cannot be achieved here. The people here know me, they’ve known me my whole life, and no matter what I do I will always be that same little girl to them.

I’m heading up to a little town in Nevada, maybe I can start over there.

Always yours, D/n.

Arthur received your final letter months ago. In the time since he’s read it hundreds of times, mulling over every little detail. The crumbles in the paper, the unevenness of your writing, the all too familiar tear stains that permanently warped small circles on the page, the way your name ripped through the paper, as though you’d traced it dozens of times before sending it off.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever understand what happened, why after all this time of waiting, all this time of writing him dozens of love letters, why you decided to say goodbye, he understood change. Arthur has seen people change, he’s changed, and if it was change you needed he’d do it again. But you left. If he really wanted to, he could find you, ride day and night, ask everyone he saw if they’d seen the beautiful woman that he loved more than anything. But…

You didn’t want that. You didn’t want to be hunted down, you didn’t need to be convinced. You needed change, not a reason to stay the same. So he let you go and even when the following days were filled with the nothing but pain and confusion and the complete desolation your decision brought, he still let you go.

The gang knew he was hurting, he was withdrawn, went off on his own for a couple of days. They figured he went to find you, but when he returned, without you and in a severely worse state, they knew not to press him on it.

You weren’t much better.

This was your decision and you were going to live with it. You yearned for Arthur, every day and every night, it was different from waiting for him in your hometown, he was the one who’d left then, but you knew he’d come back to you one day. Now you were the one leaving, and you could never go back to him.

You needed to move on, you sold every piece of clothing you had to a local tailor, it was almost funny to see some of your nicer dresses displayed in the window the next morning, early on, your new wardrobe came from various drunk men. You’d be surprised just how much you could find in an alley next to a bar. After you had an outfit, a proper male outfit, you were able to assimilate.

You lived above a tavern. The owner was far too old and far too tired to run it anymore, and he wanted to live in his own house for the first time in decades, so he offered you the place for a little over a hundred bucks. You worked at the bar at night, while you handled various chores and other responsibilities during the day. The pay wasn’t great, but you had a permanent place to stay and spare food from the bar to eat, and it was more than enough.

You’d taken up a new name, y/n, you thought about it for a long time before you left. A good name, the name of a proud man with no connection to who you were before. No one ever questioned you. You were just a man to them. They teased you, in the earlier days, called you feminine, pointed out your hand, your cheeks, and your hips among other things, but in the end it was just teasing, they didn’t know why you were like that, and they didn’t question when you put in an effort to change or hide your more feminine aspects. Maybe they were just too drunk to care.

You loved this life, you were just the friendly bartender.

But even with this new life, you found yourself missing aspects of you’re old one.

Your old friends, your old family, your old lover. They wouldn’t take you back, not like this, they’d think something was wrong, they’d try to change you, try force you back into the box you clawed yourself out of.

But still you dreamed of them, your sisters cooking, the way she was effortlessly graceful even when she was teasing you, your friends, the girls you’ve know since you were in diapers, singing, making flower crowns, getting into trouble. Arthur…

You dreamed of Arthur the most. Your days and nights were filled with thoughts of him. You think back to your last night together, the way he held you so tightly, you swore you could still feel his hands there. The praises he muttered, the love he confessed through out the night, every move he made, the way he left and the hole that was left in your chest after.

You dreamed of him, like one day you’d wake up and he’d be beside you. And he tell you that he loved you, not d/n, not the girl from before, but you, y/n, as your truest self.

But just like yesterday, and the days before that, he wasn’t there when you opened your eyes.

The sun was just coming up. But the sliver of light that did shine through the window seemed to magically be angled at your eyes. Making the rest you so desperately wanted impossible.

You pushed yourself up with a groan, your elbow popping the moment you were upright, your eyes were just barely open, you scratched your chest and let out a long yawn.

Your room was still dark for the most part, but you were still able to pull on some pants and fasten a belt so you could head downstairs. The tavern was empty, you cleaned up good last night and you wouldn’t have to worry about really opening until later. Still, you unlocked the front door and flipped the wooden sign in the window to say open, the people here knew you weren’t really open to serve, you were just open to the chatty people that passed through in the morning, locals coming to say hi, or travelers in need of direction, others came to sit with their friends and get out of the violent Nevada sun. Either way, you’d be polite enough to them, but they weren’t welcome for a drink for another couple of hours.

Stepping into the backyard you picked the laundry off the line and into a basket. You heard the bell up on top of the front door ring a couple of times. As you got closer to the back door you could hear the faint chatter of two people inside, Doctor Mayer, one of three doctors in town, and Anita, a house wife. She was in here more often than her husband was, but you always figured that she just needed something to do while he worked considering you’ve only ever seen her drink a handful of times in the past year.

When you came through the back door she let out an excited yelp,

“Y/n!” She shouted, like she hadn’t seen you the night before.

“Mrs. Matthews.” You said with a respectful nod. “How’s you’re husband?”

She groaned, “paranoid.”

Setting the basket down on the bar, in between the upturned stools, you turned back to her.

“He used to be a farmer, farmers are always paranoid.”

“He was not a damn farmer, don’t let that man fool you, he was a farm hand, it’s different,”

Dr. Mayer piped in, his voice low and tired, though that just how he always sounded, “the bastard smells like one…”

“It’s getting warmer out there.” You responded, leaning against the bar.

“Doesn’t mean he has to walk around smelling like a damn animal!”

You laughed, turning back to Anita, “what does your husband do anyway?”

“He’s a banker, which is why he’s so damn paranoid in the first place.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well..” she stated, adjusting herself in her chair, “one of his colleague’s brother-in-law told his colleague that he saw a gang ‘a outlaws heading up this way, but here’s the kicker, Johnny, the colleague, is a notorious liar. Lies left and right like his life depends on it.”

“Johnny Flores?” You asked.

She smacked the table, “That’s the bastard!”

“Yeah, he comes in here every Wednesday like clockwork, telling the boys his stories. It’s a surprise the whole town hasn’t heard about this..”

“Well, it isn’t Wednesday yet, is it? It’ll make it’s way into you’re bar, don’t worry”

You laughed again, grabbing the basket off the table you said, “Alright, I’ll be back in a minute, got a few more thing to settle.”

You weren’t too worried about the rumors, there wasn’t much in the town anyways, no sheriff either so if they did come and make noise, it’d be a free for all and they’d leave with less than they came with. Everybody had a gun, hell- you had two, a shotgun the last owner had given you, and a pistol Arthur had given you a few weeks before he left, one was under the bar on a shelf, the other was under your bed, you’ve never really had a need for either, but if Johnny was being truthful for once in his life, which you doubted, you figured it was good to have them.

That night, when the bar did open, a few unfamiliar faces strode in, though none were to shady. A couple of working girls took to them quick and they were gone after being chatted up by for a bit. Outside of that, it was a normal night.

You closed late, shooing out the last drunk nearly two hours later than usual. Wiping down the tables, flipping the chairs and stools on them, washing the glasses, sweeping, mopping and making sure the front and back door was locked before heading upstairs. You scrubbed yourself down at your washstand. Of all things you missed from your old home, your bathtub was one of the bigger ones. Your mother had invested in it early on, and now you were saving to have one installed here too. What you wouldn’t do for a hot bath after a long day. You were almost there, another fifty dollars and you’d have all the money you needed. That’s were a good portion of your money went, you didn’t mind, after all you’ve sacrificed you deserve something nice.

——-

A couple of weeks later, Wednesday afternoon, Johnny Flores and a couple of his friend decided to take over the seats directly in front of the bar. Again, he told stories of bandits headed your way, but he was “serious” this time.

“I swear, I know what I saw, Dutch’s boys, just like the damn posters! I saw them coming from the east, clear as day.”

Before one of his friend could respond you asked, “and what the hell were you doing in the east, huh?”

“Well-“ he straightened himself out, “I was out with my lady friend-“

“The prostitute-“ his friend, Oscar, interrupted.

“-Not a prostitute, she's a-”

“-escort-” both Johnny and his three friends said together, they've heard that one before.

“Isnt that the same thing?” you asked.

“He doesn't think so!” Oscar said.

“They almost knocked our carriage over!” Johnny shouted, getting the conversation on track.

“Sure they did..” you said, drying the glass in your hand before setting it back down. “Bet they stuck you up too, only let you live cuz you're so pretty.”

“Go to hell, y/n.”

“I'll go where ever your lying, drunk ass ain't.”

“Im not lying, and I’m not drunk either, so get me another whiskey, asshole!”

“Hey now,” Daniel, who was also a regular, piped up, “careful how you talk to him, he might shoot ya’”

You set the glass down in front of him, he snatched it quickly, gulping it down.

“Or I might just piss in your whiskey.”

He choked hard, luckily the drink went down his throat instead of all over your counter, then you would have shot him. His face morphed to one of irritation, but his friend's laughter was infectious and he found himself laughing along with them.

The night ended with you carrying a passed out Johnny to the alley, you cleaned up, scrubbed yourself down, and went to bed just as you always did.

The next morning a delivery was made to the bar, food and alcohol, you kept your meats and some of your more expensive liquor in the ice box and things like bread and supplies were kept on the shelf. Food wasn't ordered commonly in the tavern, but there were those who ate here nearly every night because they had no skill for cooking and no one else to do it for them. You enjoyed those people, and you think they enjoyed you too, especially since the last owner would drive them out if they tried to come in for more than three days in a row. He thought that they were stealing food from other customers, but you didn't, You knew they were just hungry and needed to eat, and they couldn't be stealing because they always paid.

After that, your day was pretty normal- other than what you consider to be one the best things to happen to you in a long time- your bathtub, your beautiful porcelain bathtub with golden feet and faucet, was done. Fully installed and in perfect working order. You weren't going to pretend to understand how the man you paid did it, but he did. And finally, after what felt like years, you were able to take a hot bath.

It was weird, staring down at your distorted body as you soaked. Usually, when you scrubbed yourself down at the washstand all you could think of was how desperately you wanted this to be over. Your mind was clear, but that clarity only lasted so long though, as it did most nights, your mind wander to Arthur.

Saying you missed him was redundant, it was meaningless, it was stupid. You know, but you did. Letting out a long sigh, the last time you saw Arthur was like a dream, you spent an entire day together, you woke up together, ate together, bathed together, dressed together- everything you did, every little move you made reminded you of that day. And with Johnny spreading rumors about the Dutch’s gang, you heard his name more and more. You let yourself sink into the water, your eyes clenched shut as warm water covered your face. You stayed there longer that you should have, when you finally sat up, you were nearly gasping for air.

You got out few minutes later, you were tired, dressing yourself halfway before collapsing into bed.

You didn’t dream that night, your mind either too tired or too pained to show you your usual fantasies.

——-

Arthur swore he wouldn’t look for you, he swore it to you and to himself that he’d let you be free. But it seemed unavoidable now. Dutch had settled the gang in a large clearing in Nevada, the gang was mostly hidden by a small chain of mountains, and there was a streak of towns and settlements all within a couple dozen miles from each other.

There weren’t many cities in Nevada, it was dry and damn near impossible to farm out here if you didn’t know what you were doing, and if that wasn’t enough, the heat would be.

You were out there somewhere.

Dealing with the heat, with the drought, and with the shitty crops. And you still didn’t go back home. He’s been to your home. He's gone back dozens of times, you were never there, whatever you wanted to do, whatever changes you made, you succeded. He was happy for you, you were happy, God he hoped you were happy- he doesn't know what he'd do if he found out you weren't. If you were somewhere miserable and sulking, all this time, when you could have been with him.

He pushed those thoughts back- you were happy, you had to be.

When Arthur mentioned he was riding into the nearest town, he got a few odd looks. It wasn't a secret that you'd run off to Nevada, not even close. Most didn't say much, maybe a quick good luck, or a request for something from town. Some didn't say anything, but Dutch did. Dutch warned him, warned him about you and how some changes weren't good, and if Arthur did see you that he needed to be careful.

Arthur wasn't one to ignore advice, and he didn't ignore it, he thought about it as he road through the desert lands of Nevada, but whatever changes you made, he could handle it. He wasn't a child, he didn't need have his hand held. There wasn't even a guarantee that you'd been in this town, or the next one. So for all he knew he'd never have to face you're changes.

The town was bustling with life. The people went about their business. The town was…normal. Small, busy, and normal. He road in unbothered, no one here seemed to care enough to even look when the man when he trotted by.

Hitching his horse to a sturdy pole he set off to one of the small shops nearby, after picking up some extra oat cakes and apples for the horse, he tried to find the sheriff’s office, only to find that this town didn't have one after asking a mildly disheveled yet nicely dressed man for directions, no government either. The town was its own unit outside of the occasional trading.

“Danny Hikman used to be the law here, well, not really, but he kept people on the right track. Encouraged them to do right- and get guns, he used to run a bar a little down the way, gave it to his nephew or something-” the man said, laughing slightly.

“‘ bar any good?” he asked, only half listening to the man.

“The best, fresh food, cold whiskey- bartenders a good guy too, won't hesitate to throw your ass out though.”

“I’ll bet- which way’s that bar, again?”

———

You started serving earlier than usual today, mostly so you could close earlier without complaint. The familiar chime of the bell above the door called your attention for a less than a second, you recognized Johnny, then looked back down at the glasses you were cleaning.

“Changing your schedule on me, Johnny? I thought you were a Wednesday man?”

He let out a short laugh, sitting in the spot directly in front of you, “just showing a friend around.”

“You’re friends are all alcoholics, I doubt they need help finding a bar.”

“Hey now, I’ve got a new friend. Mr. Uhh-“

“Arthur.”

You felt like you’d just jumped out of your skin, the glass in your hand clattered against the floor, ever so sturdy. Landing thankful one piece. Staring at the man in front of you, standing just behind Johnny, Arthur Morgan, right there, looking just the way he did when he left, just the way you remember him.

He glanced at Johnny, then back at you- it felt like he looked right through you. Looking at you with none of the love or adoration from before. Because he loved d/n, not y/n. Y/n was just a bartender to him, an awful one who apparently couldn’t even hold a damn glass.

Your heart felt like it was collapsing in on itself, your chest was tight and you could feel your throat start to close as tears weld in your eyes. Quickly, you broke eye contact with Arthur, ducking down under the bar to grab the glass, using the sleeves of your shirt to wipe the forming tears in your eyes before standing up.

“Sorry boys,” you muttered, “you’re, uh, friend startled me is all.”

Taking off his hat and setting down on the counter, Arthur took a seat on one of the stools.

“Sorry, your friend here talked you up quite a bit, had to see for myself if what he said was true.”

You let out a laugh, forced and almost nervous, setting the glass down with the rest of the dirty glasses, you said, “Trust me, it’s true, what you looking for Mr. Arthur?”

“Just Arthur, and whiskey, thanks.”

You nodded to the man before heading to the storage room, you’d hate to admit it, but you wanted to run, straight passed the storage room and out the back door. But that would make Arthur think something was wrong, and yes, something was wrong, but he didn’t need to know that. He didn’t recognize you, and that was okay, it was supposed to be okay, you left so you wouldn’t be recognized, you left to start over. But he’s out there, and you were hiding in the storage room so you wouldn’t have to face him. You gave yourself a moment, for your throat to release and for your heart to stop pounding and aching. Only the pounding stopped. You needed to work, you couldn’t let them know anything was wrong.

Grabbing a bit of higher quality whiskey out of the icebox, feeling the frosty glass sting your hand as you carried it out of the storage room. Without looking up at the man you grabbed one of the clean glasses and poured him about half a glass. You remember Arthur complaining about it once, only getting serviced the tiniest amount of alcohol, no matter the price. Capping the bottle you gave a short wordless nod before setting it under the counter. Arthur grabbed the glass, before he could speak you were on the other side of the bar, serving somebody else.

Johnny didn’t stay long, he had other things to do on a Thursday afternoon, but Arthur stayed, you poured him a couple more glasses before cutting him off, at least from your expensive whiskey.

“How much do I owe you?” He ask, his speech a bit slurred as he sat unsteadily in his seat.

“Nothing, I’ll put it on Johnny’s tab, come Wednesday he won’t notice it.”

“Thank you kindly-“

“Y/n-“

“Thank you, y/n.”

“You have a good night Mr. Morgan.”

You crawled into bed that night, still in your day clothes, feeling like your heart had been torn out of your chest. And you cried, you cried until the sun came up, until your body couldn't cry anymore and every sound you made was a rough heaving sob. And when you had no more energy left to sob, you stared at your open window, watching the sunrise, listening to the people.

You were supposed to open today, unlocking the door and flipping the sign, staring out the window, at the people, at Mrs. Matthews waiting across the street for you to open your doors.

You flipped the sign back, you stated at the word “OPEN” facing you, then at Mrs. Matthews's face fell as the word “CLOSED” faced her.

————

Sitting on his cot, journal on his lap, Arthur stared at the picture he drew. It wasn't perfect, considering he was half drunk when he drew it, but it was something. The bartender from last night. He was…something. A nervous something. Arthur felt bad for him when he dropped the glass, then he just…stared at him, long enough for Arthur to get a spark of familiarity when he saw his face. Arthur tried to get his attention as the night went on, ordering drinks, asking questions, trying to get the man to stay close, be he'd walk away the moment he'd answered or served him.

He wasn't like that with other patrons, he laughed, he joked- then he kicked everyone out.

He heard him say he was closing early, but let him stay until he finished his last drink. Arthur thought about the name he'd given. Y/n.

“I see you're drawing d/n again, did you catch her in town?”

Looking up he saw Tilly standing next to him with a kind smile on her face.

“No, it's not d/n, some bartender in town, he looks so familiar.”

Tilly hummed, sitting on the cot with Arthur and taking the book out of his lap. She flipped through the pages quickly before finding a drawing of d/n, with your final letter stuck right next to it.

“Needs a change, huh? Maybe she skipped town and became a bartender, you never know.”

“A bartender and a man?”

“You never know Arthur. Maybe that's why she left, couldn't make a change like that where people know you. They would've hunted her down.”

“Tilly..”

“Maybe you should talk to the bartender, if it's not her then it's not her, but if it is, are you really going to miss seeing her again because you won't take a chance?”

Handing the journal back to him she said, “Just think about it, at least.” Then she walked away.

————

You heard the slam of the front door behind you as you sat the freshly cleaned glasses on the rack. If you were going to sulk and lock yourself in the bar then you were going to clean while you did it.

“We’re closed..” you said, your tone not exactly customer friendly.

You had a list of things you needed to do, you've already mopped the floor, scrubbed the tables and walls, washed every glass, plate, and utensil, did your laundry, scrubbed your tub, cleaned your room-

“D/n..?”

You paused, then glanced over your shoulder. You knew it was him, you already knew, you knew his voice too well to ever mistake it. Taking a breath, you hands shaking and heart pounding, you turned around.

“Arthur, I-” you breathed out, but you didn't know what to say. “How did you-”

“Lucky guess..”

Taking slow steps towards the bar, you heard him sigh.

“Are you…okay?” he asked, unsure.

You nodded, “Yeah, yeah I'm okay.”

“We should talk-”

“Yes, we should-”

You stepped from behind the counter, still unsure as to what could happen next. Then, without warning, you were pulled into a tight hug, Arthurs's body practically enveloping yours. You stood there, holding him as tightly as you could until your arms started to burn from the strain.

You didn't know what to say, or how to explain what happened, the realization you went through while he was gone, why you left.

When you pulled away you still didn’t know what to say, you opened your mouth to talk but no words came out. You kept your face glued to the ground for a long moment.

“You look different, I didn’t recognize you yesterday..”

You pulled out one of the stools.

“I told you I needed change.”

He pulled another out beside you.

“I know, I just don’t know what I was expecting.”

“This must be so confusing.”

“It is, but I’m betting it was more confusing for you that it could be for anybody else.”

Leaning on the counter, you looked up at him.

“I guess so. In my home town I figured that they’d be a little more angry than confused so I left..” you stopped, taking a breath, “I didn’t want to leave you, Arthur.”

Arthur sat there silently, his eyes turned towards the counter.

You couldn’t help but stare, you haven’t seen him in so long, his eyebrows were slightly scrunched downward, his pretty blue eyes focused on nothing as his mind raced. His fingers tapped against the counter every few seconds. You tried not to let that anxious feeling in your chest build, but the longer he was silent, the harder it got to push down.

“You said you aren't happy anymore..”

You blinked.

“I wasn't.”

“How about now? Are you happy now?”

“I'm.. I have more good days than I did before, so…yeah, I'm happy.”

He stayed silent for another moment. You figured he was just trying to find his words.

Then, when he did speak,

“I still love you.”

You sighed, “I still love you, too, Arthur.”

Another long silence passed. It was odd, you've dreamed of seeing him again, all the damn time. And now that he's here you didn't know what to say. Your relationship, how ever strong it was before, was dying. Even though you loved him and he loved you.

Arthur was having similar thoughts, he didn't care how much you changed, he wanted you to be happy. That's all he wanted for you. But he wants to be with you, he doesn't care that your a man, it doesn't matter to him, he doesn't think it's ever mattered. He's never thought too hard about it. But now, with you sitting there looking the way you did. Looking so different, so muchlike yourself, so much more at peace even though you were being confronted, he thought, ‘yeah, I could be with a man.’

Before he could, you took a chance.

“How long you thinking of staying in town for, Arthur?”

———-

You laughed, he missed your laugh.

“You can't just go around taking people's clothes off!”

“I needed clothes and they were so drunk they wouldn't miss them!” you argued.

“How have you not been caught yet?”

“I bought new clothes!”

“Why couldn't you do that first?”

“I needed to avoid suspicion.”

“Avoid suspicious by stealing clothes..”

You laughed again.

You and Arthur had found your way upstairs, both of you sat on the floor, leaning back against the wall. He asked you how you ended up here, it was funny, explaining to Arthur, a known outlaw, the various ways you broke the law, and having him lecture you.

“I will not take this from an outlaw!”

“You're an outlaw too, now, Clothes Bandit.”

“Oh that's awful, why couldn't I get something good?”

“‘Good’ like what?”

“I don't know, you're better at naming things than I am.”

He looked over at you a small smile on his face.

“Really now, Mr. Y/n, how’d you come up with that anyways?”

“Well I found a baby naming book.”

He sat up, giving you a look.

“Are you serious?”

You looked at him for a second, a stren expression on your face, then slowly a smile broke out on your face.

“You're an ass.”

“You really think I got Y/n for a baby naming book?”

“You could have!”

“But I didn't-”

Eventually, after showing him your room and the various aspects of your new life that you adored (yes, the tub too), you headed back down to the bar, only to see Daniel, one of Johnny’s friends, behind the bar serving himself.

“Daniel, I'm going to kill you, how many drinks have you had?” you said, rushing over to him, snatching both the glass and bottle from his hand.

“One-” you gave him a look, he caved quickly with a sigh, “five.”

“Goddamnit.”

“‘M sorry, you are closed, your never closed!”

“I wouldn't be serving drinks this early anyways!”

He laughed, walking around to the other side of the bar, “I'm special though right? Won't get shot or banned or nothing?” he practically pleaded, but formed it like a question.

“No, you're not banned, but you still need to leave.”

He sighed, dragging himself out the door.

Sighing yourself, you turned to Arthur, “See what I have to deal with?”

“‘Seems like a handful.”

“Daniel is harmless, he's just an alcoholic.”

“Never met a harmless alcoholic.”

“He's harmless now, he doesn't want to risk almost getting shot again.”

Arthur laughed, sitting at the bar, just like had yesterday, “Who shot at him?”

You stared at him for a moment.

“You?”

“I gave him plenty of warning, see that hole in the wall that there—” you pointed to the very back wall of the tavern, between two tables was a loosely patched hole, “- warning shot, missed him by an inch.”

“Who the hell taught you how to shoot?”

“I taught myself, maybe I could teach you sometime.”

“Very funny, y/n, I wouldn't mind seeing you shoot sometime though.”

“There's a range in the next town, I could take you there sometime.”

The two of you talked until the sun had fully set and the town had gone quiet. The bar made you feel more open somehow, it always did. Arthur helped too, you guess. You missed him, you missed being like this, so normal with him. You were surprised his quickly things settled back in place, like neither of you had ever left. It was clear that you were different, but Arthur seemed to accept this change flawlessly. He never messed up, seemingly having ingrained every aspect of your new life into his mind.

Y/n, Mr.Y/n, Sir, he even called you handsome, you swear you nearly fell over when he did.

By midnight, you both were tired, and despite what he planned before, which was bringing you- if it was you, back to camp with him. But that plan never fell through, you ended up pulling him into the bathroom with you. You thought you'd be uncomfortable at first, but you figured if he was going to be back in your life you should get used to him seeing you naked again. But it wasn't, it was calm, comforting. You were thankful for your massive bath, the both of you fit well, you sat behind him, his hat tossed in on top of the heap of clothes you two had left, you ran your fingers through his hair, water from your hands running down his face. He hummed in contempt. He didn't speak much at first, simply enjoying you and your presence. It wasn't until the water had begun to cool and the cold air of the Nevada night started to seep in did he pressed himself closer to you, muttering something quietly.

It wasn't until you got out, long after the water cooled, we're you able to figure out what he was saying. You had some clothes you figured might fit Arthur, something you'd bought impulsively without actually checking to see if you could fit it.

“You have…nice arms-” he muttered.

You were pulling your pants up over your waist when he spoke, you turned to look at him, one hand holding your unbuttoned pants up, you asked, “Arthur, are you drunk?”

“No, no I'm just…real tired.”

“Didn't get much sleep?”

“I didn't sleep, I kept thinking of you.”

“When was the last time you slept?”

He groaned, “Tuesday, I was on watch Wednesday, I was pre occupied by your ass on Thursday, and now here we are.”

“Fucking Christ, go to sleep.”

“I want to look at you, I missed you-”

“I'll be here in the morning Arthur.”

He didn't respond for a long moment, you figured he dozed off finally, until you decided to switch shirts, shoving the one you had on into your drawer and pulling out another.

“You have a nice back too-”

“Good night, Arthur.”

Your night ended with you curling up around Arthur, your arms nearly wrapped completely around him. You didn't dream again tonight, your usual fantasies of seeing Arthur were deemed useless now and we're thrown out with the rest of today's mental trash.

#arthur morgan x male reader #arthur morgan x male!reader #red dead redemption 2 x male reader #red dead redemption 2 x male!reader #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 x male reader #rdr2 x male!reader #rdr2x male!reader #male!reader #male reader #x male reader #x male!reader #male y/n #x male y/n #arthur Morgan x male #✮ — z-boy

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wof-reworked · 3 months

Text

ok I can't stop thinking about the jade winglet, here's my gender hcs for all of them

Moonwatcher - she/they (nonbinary)

I feel like this is fun bc rn (in canon) her gender is just "anxiety" but like,,, one day in the future she gets to actually play around with it

like she captures a very specific type of person I've met who you go "oh I mean I know she's gay but she's probably cis..." and then you have like one real convo and find out they're like not only nonbinary but better at it then you

I think she should get to be butch when she's older. I think she deserves being a) massive compared to her two twink boyfriends and b) gnc as shit

Kinkajou- any/all (genderfluid +transfem)

Kinkajou strikes me as being like. totally ambivalent to gender. Kinkajou changes her pronouns based on how the fruit he ate for breakfast makes him feel. Kinkajou is better than you

I think she was like staunchly using she/her for a while bc it just felt right and like changes pronouns situationally- Rainwing village is she/her, Jade Academy is any/all, close friends it varies, etc etc

Qibli- he/they (transmasc)

Qibli's just always kind of known who he is, and has been like. pretty contentedly in his corner for a while. I think it's like- a pillar of stability for him of like "at least I know I'm (x)"

Proximity to Moonwatcher puts the they/them in there bc I think it's nice when ppl get more comfortable so they start branching out a lil bit :> Qibli has like. guy who says "he/they" because he doesn't mind they/them and wants his friends to feel supported y'know

Winter- he/him (cis + gnc)

Look I feel bad making him one of like. two cis ppl at JMA but like I think it's funny if he's cis but inflicts a status effect of gender envy on every trans person in his proximity

guy who does makeup flawlessly because "it's fun" and decimates your sense of identity as you wonder why the fuck god gave these gifts to a man

extra funny for the fact that as a dragonet he gets offended by the implication he's pretty. he gets over it eventually I think

Turtle- she/her or he/she/they (transwoman/trans)

See here. Otherwise I think she's like trans and this could go in like. any fucking direction ngl

transmasc turtle??? hell yeah !!! transfem turtle??? hell yeah !!! gender is whatever Turtle has going on and god knows if she knows it

last egg to crack bc Turtle is immune to self reflection that isn't anxiety and self loathing

"Haha everyone hates how other people refer to them and their gender what do you mean? :)" (entire jade winglet: cringing with worry)

Umber- he/him (cis)

cis and a lil insecure about it but like. he's just nice :)

he's like experimented with pronouns and gender and found none of them really stuck so like. cis+. cis (extended dlc). you know what I mean I hope

gonna be honest I'm lost for him bc I genuinely forget he was there bc he peaced out so fast. justice for my boy I want to know more !!!!!

I could be persuaded for transman Umber ngl,,, it tempts me,,,,,,

Peril- she/her (trans woman)

On one hand I'm torn bc I think it almost doesn't make sense for her backstory BUT ON THE OTHER HAND the idea of Scarlet being supportive of Peril's identity and LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE is hysterical to me

though actually if we wanna get sad,,,, that 100% could be a manipulation tactic of Scarlet. "see I love you I even accept you" etc etc. now I just feel bad man

Peril's also in the same camp of Qibli of knowing this abt herself since she could think and being happy in it. She knows what she's about

BONUS:

Carnelian- she/they/he (transmasc)

Look butch can be a gender and sometimes you're a mean butch skywing idk what to tell you

wish she stayed alive bc her and Moon could've been legendary together. girl who will kill for you vs girl who desperately wants you to do anything else please we talked about this you can't solve your problems with murder

I think Carnelian's true gender is Skywing Patriot and idk how to put that in hc form but this is as best I've got

#wings of fire #wof headcanons #wof reworked #this is canon 2 me so it goes in the tag ok #qibli wof #winter wof #moonwatcher wof #turtle wof #kinkajou wof #peril wof #carnelian wof #umber wof

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oldmannapping · 7 months

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HC Batfam sexualities. NSFW.

Note: I’m aging everyone up for this. Damian’s 17. Not gonna put a label on a 9 year old.

Bruce: Considers himself straight.

Considers any non-straight feelings or experiences he’s ever had as “interesting” and adds them to his personal file on himself.

Ardent believer in the Kinsey scale as a literal measurement tool and takes the test every 18 months to monitor any sexuality fluctuations so they aren’t an unknown variable that might impact his Batmanning.

Dick: Apologetically straight.

Aware of his huge LGBTQIA+ following as Nightwing (and to a lesser extent, as socialite Dick Grayson). Passionate supporter of LGBT+ rights and vocal patron of many charities and organisations.

Experimented thoroughly during his teen years and regrets some unfortunate paparazzi pictures taken during that time, as he worries that he was inadvertently queer-baiting with his public persona.

Loves love, loves to see it, accepts everyone. Oldest-child guilt for not being queer because he doesn’t want to disappoint anyone.

Told Bruce to stop making them all do the Kinsey scale because it’s creepy and invasive.

Jason: Doesn’t think about it.

Is pretty sure he’s straight, but has definitely had at least mild crushes on a few male figures in his life and in the media over the years. Has jerked off thinking about guys but never analysed it.

Sex isn’t his priority but he meets his needs when he has to, same as eating and sleeping.

Feels anger more than lust. Sees people as threats or targets more than sexual beings. Gets in his own head about the injustices of the world and doesn’t realise he has an unrelated boner.

Duke: Identifies as straight.

Has dated a trans girl, would be open to dating non-binary people, considers himself straight because he’s not into labels and considers trans women real women with no asterisks.

Romantic to his own detriment. Can come on too hard and fall too easily.

Can’t jerk off to someone he has a crush on in real life because he thinks it’s creepy.

Tim: Memorised every single sexuality definition and read seven books before settling on bisexual.

Thinks the Kinsey scale is outdated and irrelevant. Drafting a 350-question sexuality spectrum test for Bruce to use instead. Will recommend its implementation twice a year.

Forgets to think about sex until something minor triggers it and then he can’t focus on anything else. Obsessive.

Overthinks sexual encounters and is highly likely to read - and take the advice of - Cosmo sex tips. Bernard got him listening to Savage Love which was much more helpful for their relationship.

Steph: Has privately identified as queer for years but never bothered coming out.

Had some revelatory experiences with other women. Generally prefers men but her best orgasm was with a woman.

Owns an impressive and practical range of vibrators. Always packs one in her go-bag for missions, next to mace and her spare lockpick.

Is deeply glad she never slept with Tim because she thinks he’d overthink it and it would have been awkward, and made their friendship weird.

Damian: Thinks of himself as “currently straight”.

Likes to stand out for his skills and superior bloodline, not for his position outside mainstream social norms.

Doesn’t care about fitting in but doesn’t want to announce his sexuality in a crass way like Drake.

Is giving himself until he’s 21 to discover if he’s not straight. Refuses to engage with Dick or Bruce on “birds and the bees” talks. Put a sword through his tablet when Bruce sent him the Kinsey scale when he turned 16.

Cass: Lesbiconic. Steph coined the term and Cass loves it.

Lesbian. Never questioned it. It never mattered because her body was a weapon, not designed for pleasure.

Has three vibrators, two from Steph and one from Harper, that she hasn’t used yet but has inspected thoroughly.

Not interested in dating but will hook up with people so discretely that you won’t even realise she’s left the room.

Efficient at sex. Learning to not be overwhelmed by body language cues. Meditation is helping.

Alfred: Goes buck wild on cruises twice a year. Usually tells Bruce he’s visiting family in England.

Has seduced many married women away from their husbands, and charmed the husbands into shaking his hand afterwards.

Too powerful.

The world is lucky he prefers to remain in the shadows.

Considers labels a curious thing. Has primarily slept with women but would do what he had to for the mission.

Thinks Bruce and his Kinsey scale are adorably naive.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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AITA for sort of wanting to break up with my boyfriend

okay so I [18M] met this guy [18M] back in january through an accepted college students group chat. We got to talking and found out we had a lot of similar interests, plus we live in the same city so we were able to hang out occasionally. We were even each other's prom dates (though both times were "as friends") However, after my prom he drove me home and ended up asking me out, saying he'd had a crush on me for a while and just had to tell me. I told him that I would love to date him, but that I had to tell him something first. I'm a stealth trans man, which means everyone I'd met and hung out with around him had assumed I was cis. So had this guy. I asked if that would be a problem, as he identified as gay and some gay men just aren't into trans men. He responded and said he didn't think it would be. Well, flash forward a month and I was on an out of town trip with him and several of his friends. As the only couple on the trip we were also sharing a room. And for context we'd made out but nothing more. The night before we left, he asked "hey, can we talk about something real quick?" I said sure, and he went "so, you know how I'm gay, right?" to which I thought oh no. I know where this is going. And basically he ended up saying that he didn't think he'd be comfortable doing anything sexual with me because he's "only into cock" but also that he'd be okay 'receiving' sexual acts, just not 'giving.' I was pretty stunned because I hadn't been thinking of that stuff really at all (it was literally the day after our one month anniversary. it was all still pretty new) and I said as much, but that I thought it would definitely be a problem in the future. He then freaked out and said that because he has OCD vague statements like that mess up his brain and basically send it into overdrive, so would I please say that it wouldn't ever be a problem (which I did.) I didn't see him for almost a month after that because he went out of the country, but I was definitely more reserved with the way I talked to him, prompting him to ask many times if he was annoying me and sort of catastrophize about our relationship (sent me a text asking if our LOVE was FADING.) I eventually ended up talking to him about it all over the phone and he immediately apologized saying that he knew as soon as he had said it that it was an asshole thing to say. Then he went into a tangent about how he actually views sex and romance as two different things and thinks sex is super degrading and dehumanizing, and how he thinks our love is this "pure and wholesome" thing (actual words.) He did say that he would be willing to try things with me but I don't want him to force anything on his end regarding sexual stuff, because it is totally okay if he doesn't want to have sex with me, it just means I don't want to stay in a relationship with him. But he keeps going on and on about how much he loves me and how I've changed him into a better person (and also how SCARED he is that I'll break up with him????) and so I feel guilty wanting to break up, especially because I did like him a lot before all this but now it's just so stressful and I don't know what to do. And that's where the "am *I* the asshole" bit comes in because I have been really sort of neglecting him, responding to messages late, not being super enthusiastic about talking to him, just being a bad boyfriend tbh. And of course the cherry on top is that we're going to college together in a month. Okay tumblr please help me what do you think

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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notjennyfromtheblocked · 9 months

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okay so since Anne found the post and is making posts on a sideblog you're gonna find out anyway and I'd rather you find out from me than her because I know it's going to be worse if I don't so

Yes, I lied. Okay? I lied. As far as I know she's never done anything abusive and as far as I know she's never cheated. I really, really wanted her to be abusive and to cheat and I was hoping she was because maybe if she were then I'd be able to have a chance. Yes he never said he was T4T it was just something I liked to believe because it was easier for me to accept when he said I wasn't his type then came out as trans that he was wink nudging me like "hey this is why you're not my type" because its easier to think he wasn't interested in cis people than just not interested in me. Even though he was flirting with Anne before she came out as bigender. And tbh I was really devastated when he would push me away when I would grab his thigh but not push her away when she would wrap her arm around his. Even when he gave me this speech about how overstepping boundaries is how you find out other's boundaries sometimes, so when someone tells you don't touch my thigh you're not a bad person unless you KEEP touching their thigh I knew, I knew exactly what he was talking about but I just. Convinced myself he wasn't talking about me, just saying something theoretical.

And yes I absolutely on purpose wrote the AITA so that it said to check the TLDR because I was hoping people would just kinda. Either skip or scroll. Through the AITA and vote NTA or JAH or maybe even ESH and then I'd see that and could convince myself that people genuinely believed that and I'd get some sort of satisfaction out of it. And yes I know I know that I've been digging myself deeper and I know I've come off transphobic and it's because I was being transphobic. But it was just such a nice idea to have, that she/he was faking and the villain and I could catch her/him at it and then he'd thank me and decide to be with me after all. It was nice to think that the only reason he was with her is because they were both trans together and that it was impossible for an introvert to ever be with an extrovert and it was based solely on the trans thing because then if she WAS faking then I could be the hero, right? I don't even know if that makes sense. But when everyone ditched me I knew, I'm sorry I lied and I'm sorry I've pretended I didn't know that's what I was doing.

And then I thought if I could get this online somewhere and get people uninvolved and objective to agree that Anne was the bad guy then it woild be Out In the World as "official" that sje was abusive and bad for him. It's like when you hit someone's car in a parking lot and so you post on Facebook about how people need to look at their blind spots before backing put of a parking spot even though nobody was actually in the car, because if it's on Facebook that someone backed into you then people will see the post. So even if i had a restraining order and they didn't talk to me then online it wpuld be stated that she was in the wrong and that I could go through my life saying "see, they all know she's bad for him and thst I would've been good for him" and then maybe someone close to Anne wpuld see the post and see how everyone voted NTA (thst I wasn't the asshole) and tell them to break up, and that if they saw people online unequivocally vote her as the asshole they'd reconsider.

And yes I know there's nothing wrong wirh being an extrovert or an introvert. Honestly I don't even know why I brought thst up. It's just thst Mike and I often liked a lot of the same past times and I guess I put more importance on that than I should've. And I shouldn't have blasted thr fact shebwas a virgin all over the internet or the fact she made out wirh people years ago. Thst was private business and I shouldn't have said thst. And I shouldn't have forced her hand into telling strangers she likes topping or thst shebhas a packer in order to prove her transness.

It shouldn't have taken loterally hundreds maybe even a thousand asks ans people reblogging my posts for me to do this. Honestly I think I knew i was wrong before I even made this blog. I think I kind of hoped that AITA had deleted thr ask because it took so long to get answered. I thought writing terfs dni on my posts woild prevent them from messaging me because I knew that they would see me as a possible recruit based on what I was saying. I didn't want them to contact me but they have. I just thought if I could never ever see a terf agree with me that I could continue pretending that I wasn't being transphobic.

And since she's making posts I worry that she might tell everyone a couple things about me that honestly I do deserve but I just want to get it out there now: before I met her I got a crush on one of my teachers in high school. When he quit to move to another city I was devastated. I was 15 and I thought i was in love. So a month or so after he left o told my friends that he ans I had been having an affair. I didn't think it wpuld go anywhere else but one of them told the principal. The teacher nearly got fired for this, and even though I admitted the truth to the cops because the last thing I wanted was him to get in actual trouble, he ended up having to start over at a whole new school after only teaching at that other school on the new city for a month. At my school rumors spread that he and I actually did have an affair and I just backtracked because he threatened me or something but honestly that wasn't the case. I told her about this a few months before she came out as trans and she was obviously disappointed and disgusted in me and didn't speak to me for awhile and even told me to wait until she contacted me fordt befire tslking again. Another thing is that one time Mike pushed me really hard when we were all at his house because I put my hands in his hoody pocket and said "hey handsome" when we were in his kitchen alone even though he told me two times before not to do that. I did run out saying that a man should never hit a woman to all his friends in the living room and Anne immediately stood between me and him to protect me but he explained what happened and when Anne asked me if it was true, if i really had put my hands in his pockets again and said hey handsome, I shook my head at first then started crying and nodded and said it was true. They didn't speak to me for a VERY long time, honestly they told me several times after that i was on thin ice. I told them I had been drinking and maybe they still believe me but I am going to tell the truth now: I was sober.

I don't know how else to explain this and honestly just writing this out has made me realize what this looks like and that this is wrong and I need help, which Anne and Mike both have told me multiple times over and over very politely and I just never listened but I've never written anything out like this before so I've ever had to actually see it before, bur I genuinely thought that everything I did was like romantic. That if it were a movie or a book it wpuld be artistic and romantic. That Anne would be the bitchy narcissistic girlfriend that I discover is a horrible cheating abusive person and once I showed everyone the evidence Mike would leave her for me, and that if I got enough people to believe that's what really happened and that Mike was duped and tricked by her into cutting me out then even if I knew that it isn't what happened deep down I could convince myself that's what happened. Just like I've convinced myself we were still friends even though everyone had been slowly cutting me out little by little and the only reason we ever were friends is because I kept finding reasons to invite myself into things.

If she's reading this, I really, really am sorry, and I'm going to try and get some help. I dont know how else to tell you and especially Mike how sorry I am without breaching the restraining order. I've known for awhile I've fucked up, I think I even knew as I was doing this it was wrong, and I don't know why I kept digging my heels in even more. I'm just so sorry.

#i'm sorry #terfs dni

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weaver-z · 2 years

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Ranking famous slashers (based on how likely they are to be cool with trans people)

(Disclaimer: this is a very silly ironic post for pride month).

Chucky (Child's Play)

In what can only be described as an "absolute hum-dinger" of an opening entry, we have Chucky, the only slasher who has (and explicitly supports) a transgender child. Sure. You know what? Good for him.

2. Ash Williams (The Evil Dead franchise)

"Uhh this guy isn't a slasher!" He has a chainsaw for a hand. He's killed 65+ deadites over the course of four movies and a goofy tv show with said grisly chainsaw hand. I will die on the hill that Ash is a good-aligned slasher. Anyway, Ash would also be happy to learn that trans women being more widely-accepted means there are More Women. He wouldn't even have to have being trans explained to him, he'd get it. He's dealt with so much weird shit, someone wanting to transition is nothing. Hail to the king, baby.

3. Herbert West (Re-Animator)

Herbert West looks so much like one of my trans guy friends in real life that I'm just going to decide that he's trans. My guy was synthesizing HRT in his wacky little lab long before he was filling vials with glowing green goo to raise the dead. He's still ranked lower than Ash, though, because he's kind of cringe in general. Sorry, Herbie baby

4. Bubba Sawyer (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre)

Bubba definitely doesn't care about anyone's gender. He's killing them with chainsaws. That being said, the exceptions to this would occur within his own family. If one of Bubba's brothers came out as trans and you decided to be transphobic, Bubba would definitely cut you into even grislier, gorier little pieces than usual, because he's a bro like that.

5. Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th)

Jason is a conceptually hilarious character at this point, and between all of the deaths and resurrections and visits to Hell and more deaths and resurrections, he's probably had time enough to come to terms with trans people. He just wants to kill everyone at Crystal Lake, for god's sakes. Let him be. (Also, he fought a transphobe--I will explain this remark later in this post.)

6. Daniel Robitaille (Candyman)

Daniel's been dead for quite a while, so that might be a minor roadblock to his understanding of trans people. That being said, he seemed to navigate the modern world pretty deftly in the original Candyman. You might have to explain transitioning to him a bit, but he'd get the concept pretty quickly. He might still kill you with his hook, though. Sorry.

7. Carrie White (Carrie)

Carrie is in a complicated place, because yes, she was raised in a very sheltered, evangelical environment, but we must consider that she is a girlboss and a girlbeast. My verdict? After an initial period of "not getting it," Carrie would throw herself whole hog into being a trans ally. If you are trans, Carrie will be there to light transphobic people on fire. This is not an offer, it is a statement of intent. Be ready for her arrival.

8. Michael Myers (Halloween)

I think that Michael forgot what gender is a while back.

9. Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs + other movies)

Uuugh... see, I think that Hannibal would absolutely use the right pronouns and name for a trans person, but he'd definitely ask those really annoying "tell me, Will" style questions about your gender over a plate of definitely-not-human liver and fava beans. "Do you feel as though you are step in step with God Himself when you take your estrogen pills, as though your are joining in the act of divine creation?" No, Hannibal, she is just transitioning. Please chill.

11. Billy Lenz (Black Christmas)

Diversity win and loss: Billy Lenz is the world's first trans-inclusive radical misogynist! :/

12. Billy Loomis and Stu Macher (Scream)

Ghostface fans, I am so sorry, but these are two misogynistic teenage boys from the 90's. I do not have high hopes for them.

13. Freddy Krueger (Nightmare on Elm Street)

This guy is the transphobe Jason fought. Booooo. Tomatoes. I'm throwing tomatoes!

#slashers #horror #movies

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intimacyequalsdeath · 2 years

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You're My Girl (Patrick Hockstetter x Reader)

My IT obsession has been reignited. Specifically my obsession with the Bowers gang. This is an idea I have been sitting on for awhile and I hope you guys enjoy! (This is also the first fic trying out a new format in the top section here so lemme know what you think)

Trigger Warnings: None

Notes: Somewhat out of character Patrick Hockstetter.

"Patrick what the fuck?" I asked him as I opened my window.

I had gotten woken up by him throwing pebbles at my window at 2am on a school night and was absolutely not happy with him.

"What?" He shrugged "How else was I supposed to wake you up?" He asked nonchalantly, I groaned and rolled my eyes.

"Maybe you could have waited until tomorrow after school and not at 2 in the morning" I seethed through gritted teeth, Patrick laughed at this.

"Get dressed" he demanded

"Excuse me?"

"I said get dressed, the boys and I are going to the quarry and I told them you would come with" He said. I sighed, knowing full well I would rather go to the quarry with my boyfriend and his idiot friends then have to listen to my parents argue when my dad finally gets home from his graveyard shift with Butch Bowers.

I peered down at the lanky boy standing in my backyard and nodded

"Give me five" I said before turning back into the room to get dressed.

Once dressed I climbed down the lattice my dad had put up last summer for my moms plants, and hopped down in front of Patrick himself. The kids at school couldn't believe I had began dating Patrick Hockstetter, especially that I had chosen to date him voluntarily.

We have been together 2 years and still get strange looks, especially from the "Losers club", I don't mind though, it may sound cliché as all hell but Patrick is different with me then he is with everyone else, According to him it's because I'm "Real" though I am never 100 percent sure what he means when he says that.

Patrick wrapped his lanky arms around my waste and pulled me in for a kiss, and Patrick being Patrick he shoved his tongue into my mouth, at this point I had accepted that Patrick Hockstetter does not kiss "Normally".

"Yeah, because we came all this way to watch you guys suck face" Said a very peeved Henry Bowers from his place leaning on the Trans am.

Patrick pulled away and flipped him the bird.

"Don't be jealous Bowers" He snickered, throwing an arm around me and leading me to join the rest of the boys at Belch's car.

Henry scoffed and rolled his eyes as he got into his usual shotgun seat in the front. Vic and Belch snickered as they joined henry in the car, Patrick opened his side door and stepped out of the way so I could slide in between him and Vic.

"Malady" He said dramatically bowing and putting his hand out to help me into the car, I giggled and slid in next to Vic. Patrick got in and immediately gathered me in his arms to place me in my usual spot of his lap. Not that he doesn't trust Vic, he just likes to show what's his to any possible passing members of the Losers club as it is well known that quite a few might have a crush on me.

Belch follow the all too familiar roads of Derry until we reached the quarry. The boys one by one piled out of Amy, I went to get out but Patrick grabbed my arm halting me in place until he climbed out of the car.

"What are we even doing here at 2am?" I asked him, The loosers club would all be at home in bed by now along with most of the rest of the town so I didn't see much of a point. Patrick shrugged while closing the car door.

"It was the only time Henry could escape his old man, and all of us were awake anyway so we figured why not" I was almost shocked.

"Wow, the big bad Bowers' gang finally isn't fueled by the thought of bullying little kids" I teased him, He rolled his eyes as we followed the rest of the gang to the edge of the cliff.

We had all been at the quarry for maybe an hour when I heard another car pull up, I turned my focus away from Patrick and the gang and noticed what appeared to be a police car in the darkness.

"Hey hen?" I asked getting nervous.

"Yeah Y/n?" Henry answered, not noticing what I was seeing yet.

"Isn't that your old man?" I asked as I watched a figure get out of the car and make his way over to us, as the figure got closer it was obvious that it was Butch Bowers.

All the boys attention snapped to where I was looking as Butch approached us.

"Well, Well" He started when he was close enough "Look what we have here, It's 3 am on a school night, you kids should be at home" He said looking at Henry "Especially you" I heard him say under his breath when he got close enough to Henry.

Patrick had moved me slightly behind him silently hoping Butch wouldn't notice me, My dad worked with him on the force and surely he would go blabbing off about me hanging around his son and his friends. Patrick also knew what kind of man Butch was and didn't want me anywhere near him.

Butch continued to walk towards us to get closer when I heard his footsteps stop.

"Y/LN?" I heard him question, Shit. I stepped out from behind Patrick so he could see me but I still had the barrier.

"Yes sir?" I asked him, Through the darkness I could see a sick smile stretch across his face.

"Wait until your old man hears about you being out here with four boys at night" He snickered

"She's my girlfriend sir" Patrick spoke up "Not some whore" I nudged Patrick to get him to shut up, Butch Bowers was not one to be talked back too and I didn't want the already bad situation to worsen.

"What was that boy?" Butch asked, getting in Patrick's face, Patrick squared his shoulders and made direct eye contact with Butch.

"Patrick lets just go" I pleaded with him, really not wanting him to get into a fight with Butch Bowers of all people.

"You should listen to her, All you kids should take your asses home and don't let me catch any of you out here this late again" Butch commanded stepping back from Patrick and glancing to Henry.

"Except you boy, You're riding home with me" He said to him before turning back to his Cruiser, I sent Henry a sad glance as he followed behind his father.

Patrick, Belch, Vic and me all briskly walked back to the trans am and piled in. On the way back to our respective houses we were silent, Henry's empty seat being loud enough for all of us, even Patrick was quiet. When we pulled up to my house I got out and then motioned for Patrick to follow, he looked surprised at this.

"My dad won't be back until later this morning, Please pats" I begged, He smiled and nodded following me out of the car and into the house. After what happened with Butch I didn't want to be alone, Belch pulled off as we entered the dark house, He followed me upstairs and right into my bed after getting comfortable, he wrapped his arms around me and I laid my head on his chest.

"You don't have to worry about Butch Bowers baby" He whispered as my eyes were slowly shutting as I drifted off, "I won't let anyone touch you ever, You're my girl"

#patrick hockstetter #slasher x reader #patrick hocksetter x reader #patrick hockstetter x reader #it chapter one #bowers gang #henry bowers #victor criss #belch huggins

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pixeljade · 7 months

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Imagine being a huge fucking paranormal nerd trans girl studying it at obscure universities and being a huge fan of a trans guy who writes about ancient artifacts that have unbelievable power. And then you just happen to run into him at a library and you fall in love, and discover ancient artifacts together, but then he puts on a magical crown and starts shooting ice bolts at you, and so you run away from him. But while you're hiding a portal opens to the distant future and you see your regular boyfriend just chilling there so you hop through, and it turns out the world ends not long after that incident in your time and your boyfriend also goes utterly insane and extra misogynistic, and this moment you happened to see him was just a rare moment away from that, and if he doesnt become insane again he'll fucking die. So you tell him to go insane again and you'll be the one to save him and then you go and try a dozen different ways, eventually becoming exactly as insane as he is but in a different way, and then in one last ditch effort to save him you summon the deadliest chaos god in all of everything, an entity whos mere presence in your reality spells absolute doom for everyone and everything. A mishap happens, you lose your insanity but you're swallowed up by the chaos god along with your insane boyfriend and the teenage boy whose apparent job is kicking his ass. So then the chaos god starts digesting you all, and you think youre gonna die but the silver lining is that your boyfriend has been turned back to normal by the chaos god's magic. And so you kinda start to accept it, but then at the same time that a bunch of people singing outside somehow creates a way to escape, you notice that the thing that made your boyfriend crazy in the first place is now a magic wish machine. So you wish for the power to keep your boyfriend safe, which the wishing machine decides can only be done by fusing you with the chaos god, and you slip out of existence changed forever but with the peace of knowing that your boyfriend is not fucking insane.

But then he fucking goes and TRIES TO BECOME INSANE AGAIN

#simon petrikov #betty grof

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umbreoncomplex · 22 days

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can i be honest? im really happy about buck being bisexual. yada yada oh but he didnt kiss eddie. whatever. okay? ive been with this show since that fateful night in january 2018. id seen the previews and ads for the show for a while and so i awaited the night eagerly and watched the premiere episode with my mom. this was 6 years ago, and i was young, and still new to being queer, and to me that was something you kept secret in online chatrooms and fanfiction read in the dead of night. i was young, and maybe trans maybe lesbian. and you weren't supposed to be those things in the "real world". and this is a truth i keep in my mind for a while. and then, i dont remember when, but we are introduced to karen. hens wife. these two become the first queer people ive seen on screen outside of online circles. away from fanfiction and cartoons. and they feel so real. so tangible. and i feel seen. because maybe ive met queer people before. but we were always tucked away into the digital world. this was cable tv. this is what everyone could see. and this meant there were dozens and dozens of people behind the scenes letting this be real. and in that moment i felt everything could be okay. and i found lonestar, i found paul, and by now i was familiar with queer people in media and in real life but paul was a trans man on tv and this was so new to me and once again i felt comforted. felt seen. i smiled when owen helped paul with skincare in that one bathroom scene and it was normal and okay. but heres the thing. these were queer people established from the beginning. and they have always been queer. and i love them for that. i love hen and i love paul and i love carlos and i love tk and i love nancy. but we have never gotten to see discovery yet. and ive been with this franchise 6 years. ive had all these queer headcanons in my head, some big ones i knew could never be true, but that's okay, because i could still imagine them and discuss them with friends and make them real to myself. and while buck being bi was plausible, maybe far more likely to happen than any other headcanon i had, i was familiar with this show. queer identities had been established from the beginning. you knew from the get go if a character would be queer or not. and so i expected this status quo to stay. and yet it didnt. because on the 100th episode of this show thats carried me through these psst few years, buck kissed a man. or more accurately, was kissed by a man. and he wasnt disgusted. wasnt appalled. didnt pull away. he reciprocated. and this wasnt like with tk. this isnt oh haha some guy thinks buck has a crush on him and buck is bewildered because oh! he's obviously straight. this is a kiss. and he kissed back. and when he lets go hes shocked. surprised. but not bothered. this is bucks "oh" moment, even described as such by oliver stark. this is a beginning. this isnt a scene they're going to throw away, but a story theyre starting. and it's going to be something entirely brand new for 911. because now we can see someone grow into their identity. accept it. learn to be themselves proudly. ive loved buck since day 1 of this series, and i cant help but feel proud. and i know he's just a fictional character yada yada who cares. but i care. because ive watched his story for 6 years. his struggle to love himself. to accept he can be desired and cared for. and hes been getting better. but now hes been introduced to something new. and now he must love himself in a new light, learn to love himself through change, and not just as a static personality. and im happy. and i wont stop being happy. and oliver stark said "you were right". and i was. and i cant believe i am. that this story can exist outside of my head. outside of online chatrooms. outside of fanfic. and it feels poetic, to watch buck come into himself in real time like this

#911 spoilers #911 abc #911 season 7 #evan buckley #evan buck buckely #bi buck #<- ive noticed thats become a tag lol #911 100th episode #eep i think those cover all my bases

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ad0rebrial · 1 month

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Sal Fisher x ftm reader who low-key looks like a man so nobody knew they were trans until they randomly brought it up out of nowhere with zero context.

Ya that's kinda all :3

(Tysm 🫶)

Okay, so here’s what i’m going to do…I will take these transgender requests because first of all, I know that you guys will tell me if I did anything wrong or depicted something wrong just so that I can change it. Secondly, I want you guys to feel included if this is you in real life because that’s what my blog is for. I want all of you to be able to relate and see yourself in these readers. So if I make a mistake just tell me what I need to change and I’ll gladly do so! Thank you for requesting!

Sal Fisher With An FTM! S/O Who Randomly Came Out

Everyone was shocked at what you said, they couldn’t believe their ears about what they heard.

Sal on the other hand was also shocked with your comment being your significant other.

They are your friends and Todd is literally 💅 so why wouldn’t they also accept you too? Did they end up accepting you? Of course they did!

Larry, was actually in denial because you LITERALLY look like a full blown man. Like you done fooled everyone at that point. He just patted you on the back and just said that you’re still his bro because why wouldn’t you?

Todd, he was surprised but claimed that he felt some sort of “aura” coming from you. Obviously he accepted you for who you were because you also accepting him for who he was and that’s what friends do, right?

Ashley is LITERALLY 💅 too. It would be very hypocritical of her if she didn’t accept you for who you are. She was stunned and said that you did phenomenal with your transition because you quite literally did! Not even quite, you DID.

Sal was slightly in shock. The way you just randomly blurted that out without no context at all just caught him off guard but not in a bad way. He didn’t have no negative feelings about it because he loves you to death. I mean, when he finally revealed his face to you, you accepted him so it’s only fair and the right thing to do in your favor;accepting you for who you are.

All of your friends were very supportive of you and you all tend laugh about it time to time because to be honest way, you just blurred that all out and one breath really stuck with them and it was actually really hilarious for them! like it was just so out of the blue and so random that it’s funny to think about.

Sal still adores you no matter what. He respects you just like how you respect him and it’s basically just bringing you guys even closer. He’s still shocked at how good you did your transition because he would’ve never known if you never did blurt it out or tell him. Like it still shocks him til this day at how good you did your goddamn transition! You look even more man than he did…

Thank you so much for requesting Anon! Please remember to inform me if I did anything wrong with this Transgender reader, I will gladly take any advice!

#sally face oneshots #sally face #sally face fluff #sally face imagine #sally face drabbles #sal fisher #sal fisher x reader #sal fisher x you #sally face x reader #sally face x you

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zappedbyzabka · 4 months

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Ftm/transmasc Johnny thoughts...

(tw for everything on that topic)

His white-knuckled grasp on masculinity and the way he thinks he should perform it—all these arbitrary things he and others have applied manliness to, like how much meat is in his food, sucking up his feelings, and how attractive women find him: It all just feels like a person who thinks that if they don’t keep up a strict image of masculinity then everyone will take away that ‘Man’ title.

Just like any boy worries—especially trans boys.

Johnny wants to be perceived as and live as who he is. It’s hard when if you’re a nonconforming guy, you’ll be seen as just a girly boy, but when you’re someone who has to take more steps than that, who has to put in way more effort to even receive that “boy” title, anything could end up with you thrown back in the box of “girl”.

He had the privilege of having a rich stepdaddy who just wanted him to be quiet and behave however he could get that to happen—which happened to be testosterone, cutting his hair even shorter than it was, and being called “He”

Plus, a white lie that he was just an effeminate little kid who grew out of it to anyone who was confused as to where Laura’s pretty daughter went. He just had to avoid anyone who really knew him before.

Because people accept that more than the truth, which is that he was a girl who was always a boy.

Kreese was the only man besides Sid whom he had as a male role model—and of course, Kreese was the only one he loved. The one he thought he should be like—and we all know what a wonderful impact Kreese has.

He wasn’t allowed to care like his mother. He wasn’t allowed to cry. He wasn’t allowed to be a pussy. He wasn’t allowed to be anything but what he saw in front of him, what he saw in movies—stereotypical and obvious.

If he said he enjoyed the dresses his mother used to buy him, he's a faker.

If he mentions that he always loved little soldier toys and monster truck jammies, then he’s not faking. When he’s in the locker room talking about girls and football, isn’t faking. If his towel slips, he’s faking.

That’s how it is. It doesn’t matter who he is inside if people can’t see it.

It’s tiring. He didn’t really enjoy playing a whole new act.

But he clung to every shred of “proof” he had, even when he started to pass. Even when all the “Mis—I mean, Sir”s stopped, even when there was no trace of Joanie.

When she was dead to him and everyone that knew her.

Bobby was there the whole time, he watched Johnny’s progression, was the first to call him Johnny, and was the first Johnny felt comfortable changing in front of. Bobby had some difficulty with his parents over it, and it made Johnny feel terrible. It felt like he was a burden, and his freakiness would always get in the way. That’s why he took so long to be open with any of the the other Cobras about it, besides the fear of getting thrown in a lake for what he is.

Just his existence caused ripples.

He could always tell when his mother missed her daughter—some days he felt like a murderer.

He didn’t like the pressure he felt with the girls he pursued to be this overly masculine meathead. Ali never pushed him into anything—she actually seemed to hate his macho act—but there are rules to being a boyfriend, like there are rules to being a girlfriend, right? You gotta be dominating and tough, and you can’t let her touch your ass even if you want her to, and you can’t talk about other boys you find cute because only girls can like boys, and he’s not a girl just like he’s not a fag. That’s what it is to be the man of a woman.

He didn’t want to be questioned. He didn’t want to see doubt in anyone’s face.

Maybe it was one reason he was so fucking angry about Daniel.

It felt like Ali went off to find herself a real boy. One who couldn’t fight, had no muscles, and probably didn’t even know who Rocky was- did none of the things Johnny had to do.

He wasn’t even taller than Ali like Johnny!

He got to just got…relax into the role of being male.

But maybe it was his view of women that he learned from Kreese that drove her away. Maybe it’s how he forced himself to act. Maybe it’s because his strive had him stepping on women by accident.

Johnny found himself wanting to be more like Daniel. Unquestioned in his shortcomings. Effortlessly masculine yet not always doing what’s expected of him. He could do things like...keep his own hair silky without feeling like a gender traitor.

It was infuriating. It was unfair. It was embarrassing. It made him wonder if he slipped up with Ali and she lost attraction to him. He wondered If he wasn’t enough.

Kreese “had no issue with such a strong appreciation for the male lifestyle.” Saw that unique pain in Johnny as another way to mold him. Told Johnny that if his parents failed him, he’d be there to provide his hormones. You really can’t fuck up with a kid that desperate to be accepted, can you? Desperate, glowing potential Kreese needed to keep hidden under his wing. Doesn’t matter what he calls himself, as long as he does what Kreese tells him to.

He could drip alcohol into the cut when Johnny misbehaved with a simple pronoun slip up.

When Johnny got choked by Kreese and completely lost a pillar in his life, he fell completely into his persona, even when he was with the Cobras who always had a way of making him forget he wasn’t born like them.

Beer and chicks and cars and meat—hell yeah, right? Yeah. Yeah. Those are his favorite things. That’s all he wants. Men are supposed to want to fuck things and they’re supposed to look at porn, so he tries to want it. He’s a man’s man, and he never wants to do any of the feminine shit he used to.

He was near-frantic when he kept having rough patches and couldn’t afford his hormones without Sid’s allowance. His life was in that old man’s hands, and when Daniel raised the rent, he felt sickeningly afraid that he’d have to choose between giving up his dojo or giving up the shots that made him feel just okay enough to keep going.

It feels like the comfort of being the man came with a whole new torture caused by the weight of what it really means to be that man—The feeling or the performance? Is he still man enough if he misses a shot?

He never had any surgery. He honestly never really thought about it–he was the only trans person he knew growing up, and he didn’t really…want it? Whenever he told people his condition, that was always the question. “So...did you get surgery yet?”

Yet.

Like he had to do it. As if it were required of him, like all the countless other things, if he wanted to be who he was on the inside.

His chest was the same size as a man with pecs on the plumper side, so who cares? He liked the way he looked there. No one ever commented on his chest, because it’d be rude to say anything about that that to a man.

He didn’t want doctors touching him, or observing him. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to think about it.

He still wears binders like he used to and stuffs his pants every now and then—on hard days when he’s worried someone will look into his eyes and just...know.

I imagine Daniel having zero idea until he happened to find Johnny with his binder halfway on. Ending up ruddy and panicked and slamming the door closed to give Johnny privacy.

And Daniel’s old and not all that well-versed in such things, but he tries to be gentle with delicate topics and delicate people.

The talk he and Johnny would have would be awkward. Snappy and defensive on Johnny’s end.

He would somehow be more knowledgeable on the topic than Johnny and it wouldn’t go to far the first time, but slowly and surely Johnny would open up for him. Tell him more and more. Reveal what the big driver for his anger with him was.

There’s something sweetly validating about the man you considered an enemy for so long accepting you as you are and validating you—even with all the details.

Maybe Johnny starts to cry again. starts grooming himself again. Gaining his “I don’t care what you think because I could kick your ass” attitude.

Maybe all the joy of having people that care about him in his life—reconciling with his kid perhaps—has him relaxing his shoulders for once.

Maybe he lets himself try a queer bar. Lets his eyes wander over to other men, easy and guiltless unlike the other times, because truly what’s manlier than liking other men? Maybe he lets himself go home with one, lets himself ask for what he wants because the guy seemed to already understand everything, like he’d been with people like Johnny before. He had no expectations.

(There’s also a world where Sam confides in him about her feeling like she has to be hyper-feminine and palatable to be liked when maybe she wants to shave her head and still wear skirts—)

#These are just thoughts and I am not smart okay #tw f slur #I’m sure I’ll come back twelve times to fix typos #tw transfobia #Mtf Johnny thoughts are for a different time #johnny lawrence #cobra kai

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