#and their weird kid

[cherryflavored]

You and him are the last. You’re both special-made units, built to fight alongside each other as much as you fight against each other.

You two roam the wastes, as the last. Finding barest hints of life in soil long dead. Collecting bones is a habit for you, by now. Your adversary scolds you for gathering extra weight. You two shelter in the refuse of your manufacturing plants. The corpses of your comrades are here, bits and pieces of those who share your face, but are not you. It reminds you of the corpses gathered in your bags, shards of beings long forgotten. You endeavor to remember your comrades. You tell your adversary this, and wait for him to laugh. He never does.

***

You two come across your eventuality. It bears down on you in the form of a mechanical monstrosity Unsurprising, as it was what you and your companion were built to kill. It’s a spindly creature, a patchwork beast made to cannibalize other machines. The thing resembles a scorpion, you think, though you’ve never seen one in person. It strikes at your companion first. His black armor is too strong for the monstrosity’s stinger.

You aren’t so lucky. Models like you are designed for speed over staying power. So as you float with your levmag, it’s little work for the beast to smash you to the ground. The impact echoes in your sensors. It’s soon replaced with the piercing scream of the monstrosity.

You feel your companion’s hands lift you up, heave your body on his back. He carries you back to the tiny repair plant you holed up in for the last few days.

***

There’s no way to fix your legs. You’re unsurprised. Your partner is crushed.

He curls around you, mournful and apologetic. He cries the only way you two can: shuddering and rocking. He pets your hair and stares at you, like he’s trying to memorize your face. You can accept your mortality, but you can’t stand the desperation on your partners face.

So instead, you make plans with him. Optimistic blueprints full of potential heredity. Your advanced sensors, his lock-on tracking. Your levmag and cooling systems, his suspension and repair systems. Your slim frame, his bulky armor. Your circuitry, his motherboard. Your face, his eyes. You compromise on the hair, settling for a lavender shade neither you nor him possess.

***

He starts to go first. You’re surprised: it’s a slow decline, rather a sudden drop. He won’t tell you what’s killing him, what might kill you. He busies himself with other work: tidying the space, fixing the repair machines, doting on you. But you can see it in his body, the way he falls apart.

Entwined in the night, he finally brings it up. A systematic failure, where his battery corrodes and spills acid through his skeleton. You both joke about a leaky heart. You both know that once he is gone, you will be too.

Early in the morning, you finally ask him. You ask him if he’d be willing to merge with you. Take your broken body and combine it with his dissolving one. You each have the flesh to fix one another, but not enough for both.

***

It takes weeks to repurpose the repair equipment. It takes a toll on both of you.

***

One more night together before you’re both ready. That morning, you take his hand. He straps you in to the bay, tenderly maneuvering your legs. He straps himself in, as you blow him kisses from your tomb The lids slide shut. You bask in your last moments. It’s warm, you think. It feels like the night, wrapped around each other in your bed.

The last step is this: you both lay down in the repair bays and sacrifice your cortex chips, your personality and cognition. The overseeing computer takes your personality values, pairs them, and combines them. Like water and oil, like shuffling cards. Like meiosis. You hope your ill-fated child gets your optimism. Their other father hopes they gain his “realistic outlook.” You both wish the child retains the other’s compassion and care.

***

You are you, when you wake, but you are also the not-yous. You are you, a boy (?) with lilac hair and no memories. You are also the not-yous, from which your body came piecemeal off their carcasses. You wake up alone, sleep-warm and bleary. You aren’t sure where came from, or where to go. All you know is the bed, and a faint feeling of being hugged from either side.

You stumble upon the unrecognizable corpses of (what you think are) your fathers. You don’t know why, but you start crying, laughing, coughing. It feels like your first breath.

(In the recesses of your mind, you think you can hear cheering. The not-yous explode in celebration.)

[acorviart]

not to sound like a boomer, but I need some people to learn how to write emails in a semi-professional (at the very least) format so you're not cold emailing a business/potential employer/any other stranger about formal matters in the exact same way you'd DM a close friend on instagram

the formality/language can loosen up in the email chain once you've established a rapport and you match the other person if they're being less formal, but please don't have the very first email you send a stranger be written in all lowercase ultra-casual sms slang with no greeting or signature and a billion emojis

[mamaangiwine]

"Somebody needs to do something about Sephora 10-year-olds...these i-pad babies are so rude and don't do what they're told....oh my God, these kids can't read and have no social skills...Ugh, look at these little consumers and their Stanley Cups."

I am, in fact, actively worried for these children and I refuse to hate them for the ways that society, as a whole, has failed them.

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

no capes au dick and jason referring to tim as gala kid, before he’s adopted because he was the only other kid at the galas and they forgot his name.

jason post coma: what the heck bruce you adopted gala kid??

dick: his name is tim

jason: oh fr?

bruce: jason please be more sensitive his parents died

jason: omg welcome to the club

dick laughing: that’s what i told him!

[ryuuna]

can persephone please catch a break cuz that’s twice now she hasn’t been able to raise her kids due to divine fuckery 🫠

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

[ineffectualdemon]

[franeridart]

more dragon

[murderballadeer]

people are so weird about babies like calling them crotch goblins, reducing being a parent "letting someone cum in you" etc etc etc like those are tiny little humans you don't have to want to have any of your own but they are literally just small people & it's weird to constantly describe them in crude sexual terms and/or as subhuman

[marxistgnome]

Memes shared by kids who grew up on starships I think they should have sea scout/land scout beef with kids that grew up on Starbases

[coffee-cait]

To you, my dear audience, I dedicate my performance... I wonder,

гРł ฿Ɽł₦₲ ₳ Ⱡł₮₮ⱠɆ ₥ØⱤɆ JØɎ ł₦₮Ø ɎØɄⱤ ⱠłVɆ₴?

[bet-on-me-13]

Danny commits to the Bit a bit too hard...

So! For the first few weeks after his accident, whenever Danny would try to help the people of Amity Park, he would be treated as a Villain.

No matter if he had just defeated the Big Bad of the Week or saved a Cat from a tree, everybody in town only saw him as a Monster or Villain to he feared and hunted down. Danny was really getting sick of trying to get them on his side, until Sam made a suggestion.

"Why not just...play into it?" She said, barely looking up from painting her nails.

It was just an offhand suggestion, but it stuck with Danny. Why shouldn't he lean into it? The people of Amity Park already saw Ghosts as Evil, and they already assumed he was in cahoots with the Ghosts attacking the town. Why shouldn't he just...play into it?

So he does just that.

From that day on, whenever Phantom was spotted he would dramatically monologue about his Evil Plans, or claim that another Rogues attack on the City was his own act of terror.

Box Ghost destroys the towns Warehouses? It was on his orders.

Ember mind controls masses of Teenagers? All part of his Plans somehow.

Every Adult in Town is kidnapped by Young Blood? Danny gave them over to a friend as a Gift.

He crafts an identity for himself as the most Vile and Horrible Ghost that has ever attacked the City, using his own infamy to cement his legend even more firmly. The town only sees a Monsterous Villain, who has eveded capture near effortlessly for months on end, who constantly attacks their City and gets away with it.

Of course he still needs an excuse for how his plans keep getting stopped, and he gets it when his girlfriend Valerie becomes the Red Huntress. Before that, he just claimed infighting or the Fentons getting lucky, but Valerie becoming the Town's Hero meant he had a plausible excuse for how he kept getting "Foiled".

Val was suspicious, because she was not as involved as Phantom painted her to be, but in the end she had no proof of him faking his defeats. And she couldn't come up with any explanations for why he would do that in the first place. I mean, who would fake being a Supervillain? It had to he something else.

This did come back to bite him a while later, when the Justice League decided that enough was enough, and dispatched Justice League Dark to recruit Red Huntress and help Deal with him.

Coincidentally, that was the same day Pariah Dark attacked the Mortal Realm and sucked Amity Park into the Ghost Zone.

And honestly? Danny had spent over a Year proclaiming himself as a Villain who commanded Ghosts to attack the Human Realm, and he had heard about the Right of Conquest being Absolute in the Ghost Zone, so why not make it official? Why not overthrow the Ghost King, become the Ghost King, and cement his identity as a Villain while also forbidding Ghosts from entering the Human Realm without his permission?

He may have gotten a bit carried away and forgotten that the Villain thing was a disguise...but hey! He was still preventing Ghost Attacks! ...mostly. That's got to count for something right?

He may have let the Bit run a bit too far...

...

Check the tags for more context!

[newttxt]

no matter what kind of pirate you are, luffy /will/ get you

[frownyalfred]

“people in the JL hate Batman because he’s so strict” nah. people in the JL hate Batman because all of their sidekicks wanna hang out and train with the batfamily and come home asking questions like “so when are you going to get a plane?” and “why don’t you know how to do [complex judo move]?”

[inkiedraws]

"LOL this flip-flop wearing loser thinks he's gonna kick my ass and destroy my whole kingdom in the span of an afternoon. What an idiot"

I didn't intend for this to be a full comic, which is why it just kinda ends. Sowwy

[haleyusesherwords]

Gilear Faeth is doomed by the narrative in that he was supposed to be just Some Guy, but his daughter was so determined for him to be part of the narrative that he ended up with an ancestral curse