ace-and-the-rpg-horrors · 2 months ago
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any teacher that has "banned words" and the words are like harmless, non-offensive slang, is a red flag (not as in you can't use them in writing or whatever, but full on telling you off for SAYING them in their classroom)
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monstermoviedean · 2 months ago
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at the end of my fucking rope with "conversations" about k12 chronic absenteeism.
#sorry. work rant#next time you read a headline about it think to yourself. why is it schools' job to get kids to come to school.#why do schools have to bend over backward to cater to kids#kids not wanting to go to school is an extremely common occurrence#the difference now is that the responsibility is being shifted off kids and parents and onto schools#i get that schools can do better i really do#i think there is a shared responsibility#but there is a profound belief across society that school is not important and does not matter#and that needs to be addressed too#i'd say 99% of the examples i hear of systemic school problems are actually just examples of individual bad actors#again. schools have issued that need to be addressed! the public school system has profound inequities!#but when the only problems you point out are 'a kid was mean to my kid' or 'a teacher wasn't as nice as they could be'#you're not interested in changing the system#you're interested in changing your kid's experience#and guess what. demonizing school staff sure isn't going to fix anything#at this point I don't see myself ever going back to teaching#you know who will go into teaching? people who don't give a shit.#and that's not going to help anything either.#you can't attract people who care when people who care are punished and chased out#imagine if instead of constantly bringing up the worst possible examples and insisting they are representative of everyone#the good examples were celebrated and rewarded#same thing happens with the medical profession btw#and again. lots of legitimate examples of harm#(i'm fat ffs i know this)#and also I think it's dangerous to have people delegitimizing medicine to the point that crystals are seen as just as valid as a doctor#sorry. separate rant.#but still. delegitimizing professions that require knowledge skill and training is how we get thousands of unqualified people#homeschooling their kids and treating them with herbs they got from their local Etsy witch
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bqstqnbruin · 1 year ago
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ah I love seeing the "teachers are monsters for not letting students use the bathrooms whenever they want all the time" discourse starting again babes please
#tl;dr please stop getting mad at teachers for things you really do not understand#i teach in a building where 17 classes are going on at once that have anywhere between 11-22 students in it#if in my classroom alone there are three students that all ask to go to the bathroom at the same time#then thats five stalls for the remaining 16 classes#its not that we dont want to let your kids use the bathroom they have that right#its also that physcially there is not enough space for them to do so#plus like ???we live in america ??#if there's a lock down and the students are 'in the bathroom' but are actually somewhere else that's a problem#and this isn't an issue at my school but a lot of teachers are saying when they do let kids go to the bathroom#the bathrooms end up vanidalized#or that kids are planning to fight each other in the bathroom where teachers cannot intervene#and its not all kids at all in any way shape or form but some kids do that#there are also kids who miss an entire class period because they say they are in the bathroom and they end up off course with another teach#and half the time they tell the teacher that its ok that they're with them#or they just hop from teacher to teacher#which is fine if they need to do that for a little bit#like i get people needing a break and its easier to ask to go to the bathroom#but when they end up missing an entire class period#then i am responsible for reteaching them the material#which i already have little time for#as do many other if not all other teachers
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letters-to-rosie · 25 days ago
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random Ekko thoughts
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so I'm trying to get a little fic writing in, and I was thinking of some timebomb takes I've seen recently. I realized that a lot of opinions people have on their relationship and how it's depicted center around Jinx, and I was wondering what care people give towards writing Ekko, so here are some things I like to include when writing him:
perfectionist. Ekko, at least in League canon, goes back and forth over and over to craft a perfect moment. I think he'd be observant, detail-oriented, probably a little neurotic, definitely the type to replay an awkward interaction over and over in his head in the shower or before falling asleep
emotionally guarded. first, I gotta say I don't think Ekko would want to be this way. but he's been through so much he finds it useful to have walls up. it's not like all the toughness is a defense mechanism—he fights for what he believes in and is clearly very brave (who else makes hoverboards ffs). he does miss, though, the times and people that allowed him to be more vulnerable, and he treasures it when he has it. his childhood ended way too soon
chronic overthinker. this goes back to the perfectionism, but I think he'd constantly be questioning everything. he's good on his feet, but he likes to have a plan, and he'd tends to think about those for a long time
charismatic as hell. this one I think is proven by the show, lol. Ekko seems very personable, likes to haggle (at least as a kid), and is liked enough to lead a resistance movement. I think he'd make good speeches and be good at convincing people. this would, of course, cause drama with Jinx, because he'd be like "all these people believe in me and my former best friend doesn't," ow
drama. I like to give him a pretty dramatic inner monologue, lol. I also like to think he's self-aware enough to realize he's being dramatic in the moment and to then continue the drama anyway
enjoyer of thrills. hoverboard. need I say more?
childish and playful side. didn't get to have a full childhood and cherishes getting to let that side out. cue fluff
fidgeter. it preceded the tinkering
player of mind games. this is mostly based on how he treats Caitlyn and Vi after kidnapping them, putting them through what essentially amounts to tests (for, imo, understandable reasons). he also goads Jinx into a game he knows he'll be able to win. I think he'd apply this thinking to other scenarios, be they big or small
too-big sense of responsibility. would feed into the drama for sure. he feels the weight of his community on his shoulders, and because he wants things to go well, and because they're counting on him, he takes on a lot that he maybe should not
self-righteous. he strikes me as filled with righteous anger. he's right, most of the time. on the occasion he isn't, this causes problems
proud. wouldn't be a real issue in most situations, but it's there
irreverent. he flips off cops as a kid. we love him for this
smart. this is obvious, but sometimes can be forgotten in the fandom. I'd see Ekko as book-smart and having street-smarts (or at least a lot more than Jayce, but that's a low bar). I think his verbal skills would also be a bit more polished than some of the other science-inclined characters (cough cough Jinx). I think it's also notable that among the others (Jayce, Viktor, Heimerdinger, Jinx), Ekko is the main science character who has no access to proper schooling at any point. sure, he has his job with Benzo, but it's unclear how much that would have taught him. Silco probably got at least books for Jinx, and the others had real teachers. there's an element of resourcefulness in Ekko's smarts which is laudable, imo
very dorky. we love a man with range. I feel like he would be able to operate on multiple levels, one in which he's this cool charismatic leader and another when you get to know him better, who makes science puns and has a lot of insecurities, which naturally leave him replaying awkward conversations in the shower. layers!
idealistic. you have to give people what they need to live
heart of gold. one thing that always strikes me is that Ekko is really the only member of the main cast concerned enough with the plight of the average person in Zaun to make it his whole business. he's tending to the crisis in a way that is simultaneously very grounded and (again) idealistic, where substance use recovery is very much needed in the setting but he's also (perhaps in contrast to Vander) throwing himself into battles that are unsustainable because he believes in his cause, even if the persecution is so bad he has to hide over it
disaster bi (this one is for me)
Ekko's a really layered and interesting character. I wanted to bring up some things I think about when writing him because of posts I've seen recently about him being reduced to "Jinx's boyfriend" (due to anti-black racism, of course) and posts just kinda about timebomb in general? I think because it's been canon that Ekko has a crush of Jinx for so long, it's easy to take that for granted and not give much thought to his side of the ship. we also spend a lot more time in Jinx's head than his in the show, even though the brief moment we do spend in his head introduces a whole new art style and the best song on the soundtrack (fight me)
obviously, I'm a shameless Ekko and Firelights stan. he's my favorite character in Arcane and one of my favorites in anything ever, so it was fun to flesh out my headcanons, things I think are extrapolatable from canon, and just some of the traits that go into writing him. if people have others (or just traits and things they think are interesting) I'd love to hear them! I love my brilliant and contradictory boy!
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nerdygaymormon · 1 month ago
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Sometimes you mention that you've lived long enough to see changes in the church on LGBTQ topics. What are some of the major changes you've experienced in church?
I feel like I've lived in 3 eras of the LDS Church.
When I was a child, it was an era that now seems very far away. Black people weren't allowed to go to the temple or have the priesthood (which also limited which callings they could have in church). Church met twice on Sundays, once for Sunday School (children attended Jr Sunday School) and I think priesthood quorums met prior to Sunday School, and then we came again later that day for Sacrament meeting. This part is fuzzy to me, but I think youth activities were on Tuesday, and Primary was on Wednesday (and I think Relief Society was also on Wednesday). In addition to paying tithing, my parents were asked to contribute to the local ward budget, and we raised money to build the local church building. I remember my family working on the local church farm (I'm not sure if it was part of the welfare system or was a fundraiser for the local stake/ward budgets, perhaps both). There was a BIG emphasis on food storage. Social life revolved around church as there were many activities such as the annual Gold & Green Ball (dinner and a dance for the married folks, it was a big deal, they'd dress fancy for it). The church members were socially and politically conservative.
My teens and young adult years were spent in a different era. The church had undone the restrictions on Black members. Church was now consolidated to a 3-hour block on Sundays (except for youth activities on Wednesdays). Temples started getting built in big cities outside of Utah but still were a far drive for many members, instead of going on a temple trip once a year, as a youth we could go twice a year when a temple was built a few hours away. There were still a lot of activities, especially for the teenagers, such as big stake/regional dances, sports competitions, road shows, and a big youth trip in the summer. The ward budgets came from the church (from the tithing) and not from individual members of the ward giving more, and we no longer had to contribute (either money or labor) for local church buildings to get constructed. We didn't work on farms anymore, but worked in the cannery (I remember hearing adults talk about operating machines that bottled ketchup). While the membership was still very conservative, a more moderate approach was being taken by top leadership, and President Hinckley made big steps towards being more open with the world.
I'd say that President Nelson has ushered in another era. Two-hour church on Sundays. Wednesday youth programs being less rigorous or programmed. Temples within a relatively short drive of members and encouragement to go often. Teenagers can have their own temple recommends. No home or visiting teachers and instead a conversation and informal friendship counts as ministering. Few church activities outside of those for youth and our regular church meetings. More accommodation for differences in beliefs of what were considered core doctrines & principles (this started before the Nelson era). The internet has caused the church to be more open about its past, including some issues which are hard like racism and polygamy (again, this predates the Nelson era). There's also been steps to undo some of the patriarchy in the church structure (like women can serve as witnesses and changes to the temple ceremony).
I definitely would not want to go back to the era of the 1970's when I was a child. While there are things I miss from the era of Hinckley & Monson, I don't think I'd like to revert back. The one effect I worry about from the recent changes is people have weaker social ties to their church community. I've heard leaders say that church isn't a social club, but for a long time it was and I think the church underestimates the importance of social connections.
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As for LGBTQ history in the LDS Church, Nathan Kitchen, the former president of Affirmation, did an excellent job in describing the changes in the church on these topics. I have lived through 5 eras of the church on LGBTQ issues.
The era from when I was a child was brutal. Even saying you're gay was seen as sinful. You were expected to fight with everything you had to completely erase these feelings. Attempts to remove these “tendencies” included electro-shock therapy at BYU. Most families would reject the queer family member.
The death of President Spencer W. Kimball in 1985 led to the next era for LGBTQ members. Rather than insist on complete erasure of homosexual feelings, gay members were to behave like straight people--get married and have kids and DON'T TELL ANYONE. This is the invisible generation who felt isolated and alone, hidden from other members and each other. Every so often we still hear about a former mission president or stake president who finally comes out after decades of living as a straight person. Most of the mixed-orientation marriages failed, the queer person eventually spoke their truth, picked up the pieces of their shattered dreams, and moved on and out of the church.
In 1998, President Gordon B. Hinckley did a widely-viewed interview with Larry King in which he said said we love "so-called gays and lesbians" and put forward the idea that gay thoughts aren’t a problem, but gay actions are. The church's view was that some of us are struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions, much like people who have other addictions. Even as the church led a major effort to defeat marriage equality, queer members no longer had to remain hidden, so they found each other and attended conferences together and encouraged each other. Members would admire queer members for their wrestle against their attractions. Because they were trying to make this path work and were admired for it, these queer members mostly didn’t share their struggles & mental health challenges with their family, friends, or other members. They were visible, but largely were silent. A generation seen but not heard.
Beginning in the early 2010's, a growing number of gay members receive media attention, and groups like Mama Dragons and North Star are formed. By the mid-2010's the church shifts its approach and starts highlighting and celebrating gay and bisexual members who are single & celibate, and also a few who are in mixed-orientation marriages. The church starts softening its former positions as it officially rejects conversion therapy, advocates for no violence and doesn't require members to deny their queer identities. As long as you are single & celibate, you are welcome. This is also when trans members start entering the consciousness of the church as in 2015 Emmett Claren (now Emmett Presciado) starts a YouTube channel where he documents his transition and in 2017 Kris Irvin makes national news for having a bishop threaten to withhold a BYU ecclesiastical endorsement if Kris receives top surgery. LDS families no longer automatically reject their queer children, but tend to leave the church together if their queer child doesn't feel welcome or safe at church. One last effort to pull membership back occurred in 2015 with a policy against gay couples and their children, and it received a LOT of pushback and generated a wave of members leaving the LDS church.
I think we entered a new era in 2019 as the Handbook policy of 2015 is reversed. In 2020 the now-publicly available Church Handbook softens the approach to gay and bi members but puts in more rules and restrictions of trans members. It's the beginning of a dichotomy where we see progress for people who aren't heterosexual and regression for people who aren't cisgender. In 2024, there are now married gay couples quietly attending church and not being excommunicated (which wasn't a thing even just 2 or 3 years ago), and trans members are facing severe restrictions due to more changes in the Handbook. It's hard not to believe more positive changes for gay and bi members will be coming, even as the church ratchets up its fight against trans members.
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thebaronsilver · 3 months ago
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First of the bat, let me say this as a disclaimer. I love the og Percy Jackson series. Secondly, my fav character is Nico and then the Percy from the og series.
Do you know why I make this distinction? Because, Heroes of Olympus ruined Percy's basic characteristics.
Just think, this is the percy who was bullied in almost every school he attended (except, maybe, Goode). Even, camp half blood,till he came back from the first quest. This is the guy with so strong a sense of loyalty that he was willing to get into trouble with the teachers for Grover when they studied together, was willingly an outcast because he would rather be friends with the one guy everyone picked on and thus be bullied himself. He was pretty excited to have a brother once he got over the whole Cyclops thing, too. This is the same guy who spent all his free time looking for a runaway kid who said he hated him. Maybe it was out of misplaced guilt. Maybe it was due to the fact this guy big brothered everyone he could get away with. (Atleast, I felt like that.)
While we're on that issue. Was Nico right to blame Percy for Bianca's death? Absolutely, not. But he was also a grieving ten year old who just lost his only family (even though she had, in a way, already left him behind. But that's an entirely different rant on the Hunters as an institutions. Bianca was also a child, remember.). And considering that Nico changed his tune once he found the truth out and even helped Percy and the camp willingly afterwards, I like to think he more than made up for that mistake.
There's even a part where Percy refuses to burden Nico with the prophesy and claims it for himself. Considering that till then he was trying not to even think about it, I believe we can easily claim that Nico was in some ways important to Percy. Maybe not in the same way his Mom, Annabeth Or Grover was to him, but still an important person.
Then we have in the last Olympian, Percy using Nico as an example why Children of Hades shouldn't be treated as Pariahs. Because if not for him and the reinforcements his powers brought (not even counting the three whole deities he brought along) the casualties would have been higher. (It was Hades who locked Percy up. He even confirms that Nico hadn't had a clue. Nico in turn broke him out and got himself in trouble. Then in a turn of events, Percy starts to blame Nico for something that wasn't in his control. A reversal of roles so to speak. I had thought that it had been momentary anger on Percy's part, but apparently considering all the references to how Nico betrayed him in the HoO, it wasn't. He'd pushed it aside momentarily, it seems.)
Percy was not to blame for what happened to Nico in the original series. Life isn't fair and it just happened to be extra unfair to Nico. Even then Percy went out of his way to look after the kid, to make sure he had a safe space.
This is the Percy who I liked. The Son of Neptune only emphasised this. Even without his memories, he took Hazel and to a lesser extent Frank under his wings. He actually recognised Nico in a vague way. Not just Annabeth (which is something else I have beef with. What about his mother? Why didn't he remember Sally till a lot later and even then he didn't let her know he was safe till a lot later?)
Then comes the Mark of Athena. He apparently told so many horror stories to the 7 that there was a debate on whether or not they should save a 13 year old demigod, the brother to one of them, from a preventable death. This wasn't like the Titan war were demigods could be the enemy. Then why was there even a debate? It's like all that loyalty disappeared. This is the guy that was once bullied at every school he's attended. Doesn't he know the impact of telling tales when people aren't there to defend themselves? To tell the whole story? Then House of Hades. Every single person in that ship thought that Nico was spooky, creepy whatever and all that poor kid was doing was exist. He made himself scarce, barely spoke unless necessary and even then they were like ew, creepy. It's like Percy's personal loyalty became loyalty to just Annabeth. Fuck whatever happens to anyone else. It upsets me.
The later books ruined Percy as a character. And I will stand by this.
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wandussyfantasy · 1 year ago
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request for a natasha x gp reader fic
where they’re high school sweethearts and natasha has always babied reader or whatever (it’s be cool to have some moments from high school)
cut to powerbottom/mommy natasha having soft sex w reader, lot of caressing, sweet talk, forehead touches, and praising from both sides
idk i have mommy issues and i wanna be babied by a girl in the future 😍
This Love is Ours
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Summary: A glimpse of the life that high school sweethearts Natasha Romanoff and Reader have lived together.
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Word Count: 5.5k
WARNINGS:
18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT READ & DO NOT INTERACT!!!
insecurity, smut, g!preader, powerbottom!Natasha, oral, praising, creampie, and fluff
𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓. 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.
(Present)
“Babe,” Natasha whispers sweetly into your cheek as she rocks your shoulder. “Baby,” she calls again and you groan. “Come on, it's time to get up. You can't be late for work,” she says. Your eyes open and you flash her a tired smile. 
“Five more minutes,” you negotiate. 
Natasha shakes her head, “No, I'm sorry sweetie. When school is out, you can sleep in all you want. But for now, you need to set a good example for those kids.” 
You sigh deeply because she is right. If the teacher isn't ready for class then how are the students supposed to be? “Okay, okay,” you say, sitting up. “I’m awake,” Natasha rewards you with a soft kiss. 
“Go shower and brush your teeth. I'll go get your breakfast ready. I'm not sending you with lunch today, by the way,” she says as she gets out of the bed herself and pulls on a black silk robe. 
“Oh? Why not?” You frown. You love the lunches that she packs for you. 
“Well, I thought I'd come have lunch with you,” she smiles and you can't help but feel so lucky to have her in your life.
“That sounds fantastic,” you say as you undress. “Some of the teachers will be happy to see you. They're always asking how you are and when they'll get to see you again,” you tell her. 
“That sounds like a plan, love.” Natasha blows you a kiss before rushing off to make breakfast. You hop in the shower and take care of your morning routine so that you are dressed and ready at the kitchen table when Natasha is serving the both of you. 
(Past)
You look across the classroom at the girl with dyed hair and dark clothing. She was possibly the most beautiful girl you've ever laid eyes on. Definitely the most beautiful in the entire school. Guys and girls were always tripping over themselves to get her attention. You are somewhere in-between. A freak. You doubted that she'd ever look your way. That she could ever want someone like you. 
“Y/n Y/l/n and Natasha Romanoff, the two of you will be working together,” the English teacher states. You had completely zoned out, forgetting where you were. You look down at the information sheet that had been passed out about the project. It was comparing movies and the books they're based on. When you look back up, the most beautiful girl in school is staring at you. She waves with a confident smile. You wave back with a nervous one and anxiously wait for the teacher to dismiss the class to discuss with their partners. 
Natasha meets you halfway and the two of you stare at the sheet that had the list of approved books to choose from. Looking for anything that jumps out at you. “How about The Boy In The Striped Pajamas?” She asks. 
You look at the title you had just underlined and smile at her. “I was just about to suggest that,” you shyly reply.
“Good, that's settled then,” she says as she underlines it as well. “Now we just need to plan how we're going to meet up to work on the project.”
“I work at the video store after school,” you say. “We can watch the movie there for free and take notes. It's pretty empty most days.”
“Okay, that's good. I'll check out the book at the library and we can read it together too,” Natasha says. “Except on game days,” she says a little disheartened as you ask why. “My boyfriend, Bucky. He's on the basketball team and even though I quit cheer, he still wants me there to support him.”
“You quit cheer?” you hadn't heard that news from the grapevine. That's something that everyone would be talking about. 
“Yeah, it was too time consuming. And stressful. It was causing my grades to slip and I want to get into a good school,” she explains. 
“Good for you for knowing your limits,” you commend her. 
“Thank you,” she says gratefully. “Not many people see it my way. Especially not Bucky.”
“I’m sorry,” you give a sympathetic frown. Natasha shakes her head and moves on from the subject.
(Present)
The bell goes off as you are finishing your review of what will be on Friday's exam. “Alright, class dismissed. I don't want anyone to be late for lunch,” you shoo them out the door. They file out as Natasha squeezes by them with lunch bags in her hands. “Oh it's so crazy to see you in this classroom again.”
“Me? I'm still not used to seeing you as a teacher. Especially not here,” she says as she picks the lab table that the two of you sat at together in your senior year that the two of you were partners for. 
“Yeah, I'm not sure I'm ever going to be used to it either. But, it's what I have until I get a better job opportunity,” you say as you sit across from her. “Did you ever think you'd be back here?”
Natasha shakes her head as she sets out the spread of food. “Nope, I thought if I ever came back here, it was either for a ten year class reunion. Or it was years away when we had to come in for parent teacher conferences for our kid.” 
You smile at the thought, “So we have a kid now?” 
“Maybe one day,” she takes a bite of a chip with a grin. “I mean, we haven't exactly been careful after our wedding.” 
You shake your head, “Not here. Students come in here a lot for extra studying time.”
Natasha laughs, “Still such a good girl in school I see.” 
You roll your eyes, “Well, unlike you, people can see the effects you have on me.” You allude to the extra body part between your legs. “The last thing I need is for the whole school to find out I'm a freak of nature.” 
Natasha sighs, “I understand what you're afraid of. But I really wish you'd stop thinking that way. You're not a freak of nature, please stop saying that about yourself.”
You nod as you chew your food. “Okay,” you swallow, “I’ll try to stop saying it.” 
“Thank you,” she leans over the table and kisses your cheek, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you grin. 
(Past)
You are sitting with your friends, Peter, Ned, and MJ discussing the next out of town decathlon location when someone else joins the lunch table, scooting in next to you. “Do you guys mind if I sit here?” Natasha asks after she's invaded the space. 
Ned loses his words as he tries to answer. Peter and MJ are wide eyed as they look at you, who isn't as nervous as they thought you would be. “Uh, sure. It's no problem,” you smile. While working on the project, Natasha had confided in you about changes she is making for herself. That she hadn't liked the path she was on. It didn't feel like her anymore. Which hurt her friends and made it hard on them and her. They were all focused on things she now loathed. It didn't mean she loved being their friend any less. It just made it harder to spend time with any of them because they were all doing the same things together that she couldn't be part of anymore. 
Earlier this week, she ended things with Bucky for good which made things awkward at the lunch table. Her friends are his friends too. They weren't sure how to act around her because she seemed fine with the break up whereas he was a complete mess. He broke down in tears at any reminder of Natasha. And they found it to be cold of her that she didn't shed a single one when they were telling her a funny story that involved her ex. They panicked when they mentioned his name, she didn't bat an eye and waited for them to finish. 
It led to a confrontational conversation that made her realize, as she was going through her self discovery journey, she was hurting them in the process. So she decided to distance herself from them until they could understand what she was going through. 
The separation made her realize how out of touch she was with the world outside of her friend group. She had virtually no one. Until she realized that she had you. “How has your day been so far,” she asks you, sincerely. 
“Not too good,” you frown as you recall the start of your day was soured by Bucky Barnes slapping your books out of your hands. “But I think things are going to start looking up from here,” you boldly wink at Natasha and she blushes. “How about your day?”
“It’s getting better,” she fills her utensil with food from her tray and smiles. 
“So what brings you down to our level, Nat?” MJ asks, ignoring the glare you give her. 
“I don't believe you guys are lesser than anyone else,” she corrects the self-deprecating jab. “But what brings me to the table today is that I finally started living my own life and Y/n seems to be the only person in this world willing to support me,” Natasha elaborates. 
You shrug, “You deserve to march to the beat of your own drum.”
“You’re too kind, Y/n,” she says. 
“I’m only stating the truth,” the nonchalant act humors your friends who try to hide their laughter behind their hands but don't do a very good job. You choose to ignore them. 
(Present)
You walk through the door to the aroma of one of Natasha's best dishes. When she got laid off from her dream job, she hadn't a clue what to do with herself. Until the two of you started cooking together and eventually she began to try out new recipes on her own. Now she is running a successful social media platform on being a housewife. She was taking the best care of you possible and although she works from home, she is the breadwinner of the two of you. 
“Something smells amazing,” you say as you walk into the dining area where she is putting the finishing touches on her setup. You stand in the walkway and lean against the wall as you admire her. She dusts her hands off on the skirt of her dress and smiles up at you with a question as to why you're staring. “I’m just trying to figure out how I got so lucky,” you answer, a little lost in a haze. 
Her cheeks brighten to a rosy pink as she gestures to the chair in front of you. “Well, come on, we don't want the food to get cold.” She slides into her seat. 
“Okay,” you join her at the table and the two of you dig in. She asks how the rest of your day went and you ask her the same. “Oh! A few of the students that saw you on your way out recognized you from your videos! They couldn't believe that you're my wife,” you say with a laugh. 
Natasha is amused as well, “Oh yeah? What’d you say to them?”
You reach across the table to hold her hand and rub your thumb along her knuckles. “That most days I don't believe it either,”  you wink at her and she blushes again. 
“I swear, you make me feel like a giddy teenager trying to hide her crush on you every time,” Natasha raises your joined hands to her lips. “I’m just as lucky to have found you, you know?” You shake your head and put your utensil down to hold her hand in both of your hands. 
“It’s funny that you mention hiding a crush. Did you ever know that I was crushing hard on you back then?” You ask. 
This makes your wife burst out in laughter for a moment while you ask what's so funny with a growing laugh. “Nothing, nothing, it's just,” Natasha catches her breath. “We’ve been together for almost ten years and you've never asked me this before. But yes, baby, I knew. Well before we worked on that project together actually.” 
Now you're blushing, “Oh gosh,” you groan as you drop her hand to cover your face. “And to think I'd feel less embarrassed if I waited ten years to ask you.” Natasha scoots out of her chair to join your side. 
“Aw baby, don't be embarrassed. I was very flattered by it back then,” she tries to comfort you. 
You cringe at the memories and feel a little guilty. Natasha’s delicate touch gets you to stop hiding your face and you frown. “Did you ever think I was only supporting you during your tough time because I might have a chance with you? Because I swear, that was not the case.” 
She combs her fingers through your hair to comfort you as she shakes her head. “No, of course not. In fact, you being a friend to me without making a move is what made me fall for you.” You listen to her with the same intent you always have and her heart swells. People often stopped paying attention to her words because they would get lost in a fantasy about her. She only knew because they would lick or bite their lips as she rattled on about something. Some guys even pitched a tent in their jeans. “See, Y/n, other people tried to reach me during that time in my life. But all I ever was to them was an object. They wanted to sleep with me for bragging rights or be able to flaunt a relationship with me around. You just wanted me to be happy and feel comfortable in my own skin.” She kisses your cheek, “That made me fall for you then and every time you stand by me during some crazy life transition, I fall for you all over again.”
You kiss her on the lips now, she reciprocates it with a deeper intention. “I think I'm ready for my dessert now,” you say as you catch her lips again in another kiss. 
“I didn't make any,” she says. 
“Good, because I'm not talking about food,” you say as you stand up and sweep her in your arms. You take her to the bedroom and gently lay her in the bed as you fall on top of her. “I love you so much,” you say as you caress her cheek and gaze lovingly into her eyes. 
Natasha pushes on your shoulders and you move off of her. “Undress,” she tells you as she works to get out of her dress and you do as she says. Once the two of you are lying on the bed naked, you gravitate towards each other as you always have. You lay on top of her again and take a moment to appreciate her soft, smooth skin against hers. She dances her fingers along your back and you glide yours down her arm. “You’re so beautiful,” she whispers. You accept her words and swallow the rebuttal you want to say. You don't need to guard against her compliments. She means them wholeheartedly. 
You kiss her slowly this time and her hands flatten against your back. She spreads and closes her fingers around your skin in soothing circles as she deepens the kiss, keeping the slow pace. As you move the tips of your fingers down her torso, you leave a trail of goosebumps. She shudders under your touch. “I miss your lips when they're not on mine,” you whisper. “I love the sounds you make,” your pointer finger dips between her vulva and her thigh, “When I make you feel good.” She lets out a soft noise as you touch her there. 
“You know just what I like,” she says as she presses her lips to your cheek. “I love how patient you are,” she says as she kisses behind your ear. Her hands make their way to your bottom, she squeezes. “I also love your ass,” this comment makes the two of you laugh a little. “What? It’s a good ass,” she squeezes you again. 
“I love how silly you are,” you grin at her as you enter her with two fingers. Her breath hitches at the sudden intrusion. “I love how you keep me on my toes.” You slowly pump your fingers in and out of her and she squirms from your movements. “You’re constantly changing and growing and you continue to let me be a part of it. I appreciate that so much, my love.” You kiss her collarbone. Then trail kisses up her neck and back down to her collarbone. Her body reacts to every little movement. Encouraging you to do more. 
When your trail of kisses reaches her collarbone again, you don't kiss back up. This time you continue down. You take her supple breast into your mouth and curl your fingers inside of Natasha just the way she likes. Her hands shoot up your back and find their way into your hair. She combs her fingers through your hair as you pay attention to each breast. Licking circles around her nipples. Sucking on as much of her breast as you can fit in your mouth. All while playing with her sensitive clitoris and slowly using your fingers inside of her. 
Your cock hardens against her thigh and she wants so desperately to have some of the attention on you. “Baby,” she calls as softly as she had in the morning. Her breast falls out of your mouth with a pop as you look up. “It's your turn now,” she says and you nod, pulling your fingers out of her. You were a little disappointed that you didn't get to make it all of the way down her body, but you knew that you would get your chance with your mouth between her legs eventually. 
Natasha sits up and gently guides you so that you're laying down on the bed. She lays on top of you and starts by placing two sweet kisses on your chest. One on each breast. She then kisses down your torso until she reaches your penis. “You’re so beautiful,” she says as she makes eye contact with you. Knowing how insecure this body part makes you. Natasha takes you into her hand and kisses the head of your penis. Then she kisses down the base of your cock. With the tip of her tongue, she makes her way back up to the top and has you enter her mouth. Her warm, wet, soft lips have you moaning at the contact. Nothing compares to the way she sucks you off. 
Over the years, the two of you have been asked if things ever get boring between the two of you in bed. It's been asked by short-lived couples that aren't sexually or emotionally compatible with their partners. The two of you weren't ever offended by the extremely personal question, you always had the option not to answer. And as the two of you have only ever been sexual with each other it was a natural curiosity. It was an easy no, neither of you get bored in bed with each other. It's not everything to the relationship that the two of you have. Which is what has made the relationship as strong as it is. And whenever either of you have a sexual curiosity, the both of you are open to exploring it together. But for the most part, neither of you needed any of those. 
Simple nights like these, where you take time to love each other are the best nights. Natasha takes her time with sucking your cock and you enjoy spending as much time as possible with your tongue in her pussy. Then, when the two of you are connected, it's not about rushing to the finish line. It is all about listening to each other's bodies and acting on what they are telling you. Not being selfish and only taking, but giving so much back that you both end the night overly satisfied. 
When Natasha is done licking and sucking on your cock, she kisses her way back up your body. Once she reaches your lips, she traps you in a deep kiss that has both of you humming in delight. “Sit up,” she says and you do. You lean your back against the headboard and wait for what she's going to do. Natasha climbs onto your lap and puts both of your hands on her bottom. 
You grin as you give the cheeks a firm squeeze. “Talk about a nice ass,” you compliment, making her blush. “You have an amazing one too, my love.” Your playful mood quickly leaves as she rolls her hips against you. The soaking warm lips of her pussy cover your penis causing you to groan. Oh how you love feeling her against you. 
“I love how easily I can make you fall apart,” she says as she continues to roll her hips. You respond by kissing her cheek. Natasha dances her fingers lightly up your arms. Across your shoulders and down your back as she moves her body against yours. Matching her rhythm, you roll your hips with hers. You keep your hands on her ass because that's where she wants them as you wait for the go ahead to enter her. The two of you kiss again, your tongues sliding against each other. Natasha pulls away and holds your face with one hand. You lean into her touch as you maintain eye contact. “Enter me,” she whispers. Not breaking eye contact, you lift her up and aim your cock at her hole with your hands. 
Slowly, you lower her onto your cock. Her tight walls grip at you as you enter her, inch by inch. She breaks the contact as she moves her gaze to your thick cock stretching her. “I love you,” you whisper as you kiss her forehead. “You are so amazing,” you guide her further on. “You are the most wonderful woman I know,” you state once you're all the way inside.
Natasha sits for a moment, enjoying the full feeling she gets when you're inside of her. “I love you too,” she says as she adjusts her grip on your shoulders. “You and I were made for each other,” she starts to move on your cock and you drop your head back, allowing her full access to your neck. 
(Past)
You and Natasha have been dating for well over two years. She has met your parents and they love her. You have met her family and they welcomed you with open arms. Everything fell into place smoothly. Although the first time you met them, her father made a rather crude joke about liking that his daughter is with a girl because now he doesn't have to worry about her getting pregnant. It had hit you that you had been lying to your girlfriend. You laughed awkwardly, feeling a bit guilty because you still haven't revealed your penis to your girlfriend. However, without even knowing, she didn't find the joke very funny and she shut her father down for the “gross” comment. 
It has been an easy couple of years hiding this piece of you. The two of you were more focused on connecting on a deep emotional level than you were on the sexual side. She liked talking to you and how you listened. She liked being there to support you as much as you support her. She really loved being held by you more than anything when watching movies and shows together. There was something special about the relationship she had with you, the sweet kisses every now and then, the flirty comments that made her blush, the romantic dates that you and she arranged for each other. The way the two of you were able to hang out with friends either separate or together without feeling anxious. She trusted you more than anything and you felt the same way about her. 
That being said, the two of you, though eighteen, are hormonal teenagers. As the two of you have grown closer, tension has begun to build. Natasha’s friends have all bragged about losing their virginities and even told the truth about how it was quite disappointing and not at all what they expected. She even had to console a couple of them after they were dumped because that’s all the other person wanted from them. If she were with anyone else, she might have been afraid to take that extra step. But she wasn’t with just anyone in her eyes. She was with the best person ever. She was with you. Natasha had no doubt in her mind that this step would only bring the two of you closer and she wanted to feel that closeness with you. 
You were terrified that she would hate you when she found out. At the start of your relationship you thought that maybe you should disclose this information before things went too far. But every time you tried to start the conversation a voice in your head would convince you that maybe the two of you wouldn’t be together forever. So, what was the harm in having as much time with her as you could? Now, as she gets a little more aggressive in make-out sessions you begin to fear that you can’t hide your secret anymore. And you aren’t sure what will happen when she finds out. As much as you know she loves you. 
Then Natasha brought up the subject one night. It was during your graduation vacation that the two of you had saved up for. Both your parents and her’s helped you cover any extra costs and your parents even allowed you private access to their lake house for the two weeks the two of you wanted to use it. She was thinking about this subject for months as every little thing you did turned her on. She thought about approaching the subject before prom but then she thought about how cliche it would be to lose her virginity on prom night and it lost its appeal. 
She was going to push the subject away until some time in college. To see how long the two of you could last without that element in the relationship. Besides, if this was something that was relationship ending, she didn’t want it to happen before the two of you had to be roommates for a year. The two of you tried to listen to everyone and not plan a future around each other so you applied to schools separately. Not letting the other know where. 
It just happened to be fate when the pair of you were offered full scholarships to the same school. Then came the dorming issue. Should you two live together? Are you ready for that step? Then with further research it was a requirement that freshmen spent the first year in a suite of four. You and Natasha applied to share the suite with two friends that were also going to be attending the school. They weren’t sure at first if they wanted to share the suite with the couple but Wanda and Carol thought they were better off with them. 
Natasha couldn’t be more ecstatic about living together. And after spending the past couple of nights with you, she could see this life being forever with you. 
“How do you feel about that?” Natasha asks again, snapping you back to reality. 
“I am scared,” you say with vulnerability causing a waiver in your voice. 
Natasha scoots closer to you on the couch with worry in her eyes as tears fill yours. “Why are you scared, baby? You know that I love you with all of my heart.” She tries to comfort you. 
You take a breath as you avoid looking at her, “Because, I’m a freak.” 
“No, baby, you’re not a freak. Why would you say that?” She tries to get you to look in her direction but you refuse. 
“I’ve been keeping something from you,” your voice cracks as you finally face her. “I haven’t been completely honest with you about me.” 
She pulls away from you. Now Natasha is fearful of what you might say. She wasn’t ready to lose you and this wasn’t the way she wanted it to go. Especially not on such a great trip. “What have you been hiding?” She carefully asks. Not certain if she wants her world to come crashing around her just yet, but is hopeful that whatever it is won’t be as negative as you’re making it out to be. 
You take a breath and clench your jaw as you muster up the courage to say, “I have a penis.” 
“I’m sorry?” Natasha wasn’t sure if she heard you correctly. She thought you were going to say that you have cheated on her or worse, that you fell out of love with her. 
“I have a penis,” you repeat with shame. 
Natasha is confused now, “But you’re a girl? Or are you transgender?” The two of you have been in the same classes since elementary school. It would have been big news if someone was transgender in their school. Hell, the two of you have had periods at the same time. 
You shake your head and swallow thickly, “No, I have a penis and I have a vagina. I was born this way.” 
As Natasha processes she begins to relax. “Oh,” she says, “Okay.” 
Your face contorts in confusion now. “That’s all you have to say?”
Natasha shakes her head and takes your hand in hers, “No, that’s not all. I’m sorry.” She clears her throat as she thinks of what to say. “My love for you isn’t lost because of this. I’m sorry that I haven’t made you feel comfortable enough to tell me about this sooner but I don’t see this as being a problem for us. I love you for you, Y/n. That includes your heart, mind, and body in all its unique beauty.” 
Tears fall from your eyes freely, “You are the most amazing person in the world. What did I do to deserve you?” The two of you share a sweet kiss and after a romantic meal, that night, the two of you learn what it means to unite as one. 
(Present)
Natasha is riding you as you lose all thought that isn’t just her and the way her body feels connected to you. “Oh baby,” she pants out as your thrusts get a little hurried as you get closer to your climax. “Are you ready?” She asks and you nod mindlessly. “Okay,” she says as she picks up her pace a little bit. She wasn’t as close but she didn’t mind helping you reach your orgasm. Natasha knew you wouldn’t let her end the night without helping her with hers. She pulls your head to her chest and she tangles her fingers in your hair as she coaxes you to finish. “Cum inside me, baby,” she whispers. “It’s okay,” she kisses your temple, “let go, let go.” 
You let out a few soft moans against her neck as your thrusts come to a stop as you empty inside of your wife. Filling her with your cum. Natasha strokes your hair as she kisses your forehead and cheek, telling you how good you have done. Once you have caught your breath and can feel your body again. You pull her off of your softening cock. Your cum slowly slips its way out of her entrance and falls onto you. “Lay down my love, let me take care of you.” 
Natasha nods and you make room for her to lay next to you. Once she is comfortable you kiss a path down her body until your head is between her legs. You clean up the mess your semen had made until all that’s left on her skin is streaks of your saliva. “Right there,” she says as your nose presses into her clitoris and your tongue is in her folds. “Ohh, that’s it,” she says as you press further into her. Moving your tongue in her the way that you have learned makes her react the most. Her thighs tighten around your head as you work harder on her mound. She begins rocking her hips which moves your head along with her. When your lungs begin to beg for air, you lift your head and substitute your fingers for your mouth. You kiss the skin surrounding you as you rub her clitoris and when you return your mouth to her pussy you are rewarded with her orgasm. 
You keep your mouth on her until she relaxes and loses her grip on your head completely. You make your way back up to her body with lazy kisses as you are as spent as she is. You fall beside her, placing one final kiss on her shoulder. “I love you, forever,” you tell her as your arm drapes across her. 
She gives a tired smile as her tired eyes droop shut. “I love you too,” she kisses your nose, “forever.” 
The End.
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mayisgoingnuts · 14 days ago
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MT!ROY
I decided to accept that he's not that deep (/hj) and made my own version of him, mostly because of lore reasons.
TW for mentions of CSA and parent issues
Tagging the crew @merwynsartblog @clownazon @sunny6677 @bulldog-geckorahhhhh @catsockpuppet @royphobia @luzxii @articus-icecream
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Leaving the info under the cut because it's long
PERSONALITY/HIMSELF
— His "toughness" changes depending who he's talking to. He'll easily be an ass to people who he can clearly beat up, but it changes if it's someone his age for example. The only thing that makes him truly chicken out is if he notices that he has ZERO, NO chance or if the other person is clearly nuts. Other factors can creep him out aswell but then it's specific.
— Gray-ace, experiences sexual attraction very rarely. However he doesn't care enough about labels to search more about, and simply thinks that he's bisexual.
— Roy is more of a cat person but also really likes dogs. He just finds both of them dumb and funny./pos
— His vision isn't THAT bad right now, but it'll get worse with time. He does forget, but when he notices it he pretends not to.
— Resting pissed face.
— Tends to stim whenever he's too happy, either verbally or physically. He'll either start to stutter a bunch of gibberish or move his hands, normally pulling his sweater.
— 97% of the things he says with his friends would get him hated on the internet. Most of them are fucked up jokes. (<- don't feel bad for his friends they're just as fucked up they laugh their asses off)
FAMILY
— Vanido comes from Carmen, while Richelieu comes from Richard. His uncle is named Charles Richelieu, and is Richard's brother.
— Talks more easily to his dad than to his mom. Although it's mostly either short talks or awkward.
— Roy does loves them but still wish they were nicer and "less annoying". It mostly goes to his mom.
— Charles was a "disappointment" to his type of family and consequently Carmen disliked him, but Richard still has an attachment since they were quite close. That's also why he trusted Roy to go visit him by himself sometimes.
— Carmen almost ended up being more strict than she already is, but harsher demands caused Roy to actually express sadness, discomfort or panic, which made her feel bad and give up.
— They don't like him wearing eyeliner because they think it doesn't fit him at all.
— The only reason Roy won't stay up late (since he gets to be alone) it's because his parents won't let him. If he's caught awake after 00:00 he's scolded, and depending on how many times consecutive, grounded.
SCHOOL
— Studies in a private school and can't tolerate half of his colleagues. There's some cool ones there, but meh.
— Roy already participated in a LOT of school activities, or just activities in general, because his parents wanted him to. It includes violin, golf, advanced classes, swimming, badminton and ice skating. He hates most of these, but has a 'special spot' for badminton.
— Cheats a lot. He has the potential to be smart, but prefers to not take the effort to not explode./hj
— Most teachers don't like him and he's fully aware of that, but every year there's atleast ONE who'll hold a grudge after a single misbehaviour and then proceed to annoy him for no reason.
— Hates the uniform. It has short sleeves and he doesn't like short sleeves. Plus he just finds it ugly.
MENTAL HEALTH (?)
— Neither Roy or his family knows about his BPD or autism, in a diagnosis sense. They just think he's stubborn and going through puberty at maximum, while Roy himself just doesn't know nothing about it. He knows a little about autism because Robert's family is autistic, but assumed he has nothing to do with it for being the complete opposite of them.
— Has a horrible habit of pulling his own hair when too angry and/or stressed. Ross and Robert try to make him stop doing that, and to not have them to worry, Roy decided to try something else, such as biting his cap. It works, but only does it sometimes because he feels like an animal (/vneg) and because he's afraid he might ruin his hat.
— Roy nowadays feels really shitty in the dark thanks to the mansion. It's not exactly scared, more like uncomfortable. Feels worse if it's a big space.
— Roy already fought with Ross and Robert once, and it ended up making him see them as the wrong ones and just bad people because of a single fail. He hated staying by himself, and had thanked God that they decided to approach and apologize, because Roy didn't had the guts to.
— Bullying other kids without being stopped makes him better as he finally feels like being in charge of something.
— As much as Roy finally "knowledged" his own SA, he didn't fully did. Since his struggles with his family are more obvious and constant, that part ended up being "pushed aside" and he still finds it not a big deal; specially because Roy didn't even know what was happening at the time. He'll only face it in the future.
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lycheedr3ams · 10 months ago
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König Character Analysis (Part 1)
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*image reposted with permission
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Part 1: His Past | Part 2: König's MBTI
the first installment of a multi-part character analysis for our beloved König
to convince you guys i know what I'm talking about, just look through my blog at my könig posts. I am confident that I have grasped most parts of his personality and backstory, but I will acknowledge that some of it may be projecting. obviously we do not know much about him, which is the point of this series. i also relate a lot to him
discussion of my interpretation is welcome in the comments, and if you disagree, there's no need to be hateful. he is, at the end of the day, not real
TW: bullying, social anxiety, other mental health disorders
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We have very little information on könig's life before the military. his bio includes one sentence, just one, about his past:
König suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life, often being bullied during his childhood.
while this information alone isn't striking, when put into more context of other parts of his bio, it says:
While he hoped to join as a recon sniper, his physical size and his inability to stay still made him an unsuitable candidate.
focus on those words: his inability to stay still. this crucial bit of information, tied to the fact that he was often bullied, leads me to conclude that könig has ADHD. not being able to sit still is not a stereotype, it is a real fact of life for those with ADHD, me included. people with ADHD are bullied much more than neurotypicals (people without ADHD, autism, etc). while each source is different, it is estimated that children with ADHD are 4-10x more likely to be bullied.
it is no wonder why bullying would cause social anxiety, since most of könig's interactions with his peers were negative. as someone with social anxiety, it is horrible. not knowing what to say or how to act, you end up either completely misreading the social context or not saying anything. either way, you can never win.
additionally, children with ADHD receive up to 20,000 more negative messages from parents and peers in their childhood than neurotypical children. because of this, it is common for people with ADHD to also be extra sensitive to rejection, and it can be so strong in some that a new term has been coined called "rejection sensitive dysphoria." research on this issue has revealed that 99% of people with ADHD also have and experience rejection sensitive dysphoria. therefore, it makes sense to conclude that König also experiences rejection sensitive dysphoria (rsd)
an aside on rsd: this isn't just feeling hurt when you're rejected by a crush or feeling sheepish or embarrassed you're scolded at work or school. rsd episodes make you question your entire life, your personality, your worth, and for many can even lead to suicidal thoughts just from a small incident of rejection. it can also lead to the person having low self-esteem, and they are also more likely to perceive rejection even when it is not there. it is an intense and overwhelming experience that no one should have to go through, yet people with ADHD experience it often
so, we've established, based on the evidence i've provided, that König has ADHD, social anxiety, and experiences rsd. i would say that i can't even imagine what König's childhood was like, but sadly I can since i too have adhd and was bullied. being mean is never okay, and bullying is not cute or quirky or sassy. bullying is when someone kicks your books across the floor, steals and destroys your belongings, when they spread false rumors, make fun of you, laugh at you, when they give you mean faces when you ask questions in class, when your only friend is the other "weird" kid who also has ADHD. it's when your teachers constantly criticize you and you get in trouble for every little thing. it's when you just wanted a friend and everyone else knew how to socialize, but somehow, you didn't. being bullied while also having ADHD is an experience i wish on no one. yet könig went through this. just sit with that for a minute. the big scary military man we love was also a child once, and went through this.
sorry to depress you guys, but this is the reality of his character. i firmly believe that könig has ADHD and experiences rsd despite his untouchable and stoic demeanor, and you're not gonna change my mind.
so, that's the end of the first installment. keep your eyes out for more, cuz trust me, there's gonna be more. (also don't forget to sign up for my taglist if you want! link is on my masterpost)
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taglist: @osteawb, @sleepystaarr, @vvampir3s, @simpxinnie, @majocookie, @sharkyyyyyyyyyyyy, @marysdelrey, @kybeth5, @chaos-on-stand-bi, @shannonswizzies, @arcadia509, @bloodstoneruby, @cumikering, @skystreamchan, @junkratssheila-09, @kit-williams, @tangerynsbaby, @dreamdiaries777, @royalbxstxrd, @non-satanic-panic, @theweirdchick, @kiyomisan, @maylif, @mortimoshi, @eneiss
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lumine-no-hikari · 8 months ago
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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #76
You know. After a day or so to process this version of events, I think I can finally put into words why so many people cry out for your blood, but not Rufus's or his father's, even though they've done things that are arguably far worse than anything you've ever done. Goodness, but isn't it the same age-old story of people villainizing abuse victims for striking back while excusing the abuser that broke the survivor to that point? And we see it all the time in my world; nobody does anything about bullying at school until the bullied person finally punches their bully in the face, and then the bully gets off scot-free while the victim gets suspended. I think of spouses who, backed into a corner and trying to defend themselves, strike back at the spouse who has been abusing them, and the spouse defending themselves gets charges pressed while the other one who had been abusing them gets pitied. I think about trafficked humans (many of them are snatched up as CHILDREN) who, in an effort to get free or to defend themselves, strike back at the person trafficking them and escape, only to then face a world who hates them for having been trafficked. And all of these things have one thing in common: the price for escaping from being "owned" is often another form of punishment or imprisonment.
Of course, I am not saying that people should call for Rufus's or his father's blood, either. Or even for Hojo's. They are not different from you - either they have congenital defects in the parts of their brain that are responsible for empathy (and pretending like this is a moral issue instead of a brain wiring issue is ableism), or they've lived lives that have beaten their psyches into a shape that makes them think that hurting other people and treating them like objects is the only way to survive. This is ALSO a brain wiring issue - though this kind of brain wiring issue is better classified as a psychological injury (due to attachment disruption or childhood trauma) than as an illness or congenital defect.
Yeah, you read all of that right. I said what I said and I meant it, and I know that people aren't gonna like it, but today I am tired and bitter from all the shit I'm seeing, and out of fucks to give as a result. I don't demonize Rufus or his father. I don't demonize Hojo, either. They have done horrific and inexcusable things and I feel very angry in response to that, but they need HELP. They, too, are capable of making a different choice and turning around. Imagine that. It's almost as though calling for mercy for you (or in other words, "being a Sephiroth fan" or a "Sephiroth apologist", as people like to call folks like me for the purpose of degrading us) has absolutely nothing to do with your looks or with trying to "fix" you so I can date you (I'm sorry, but the idea of "fixing" a person to get with them is absolutely fucking barftastic🤢🤮), or whatever other bullshit nonsense that people who have never been through severe and ongoing grooming or abuse without any kind of support (support can be from a teacher, friend, other family member, etc.) like to accuse us of. Hoodathunkit?
I think, too, that lots of people see that potentially destructive side of you in themselves, and I think they would rather see people who lapse in reining it in die than acknowledge that it's within them, too. Or perhaps living a life that is painful enough to break them into such a horrific shape is unfathomable to them. Either way, one fact remains: people don't want to own up to the fact that literally every single one of us has the capacity to do something similar to what you did, if their life circumstances break them in the way that leads to that kind of terrible, tragic, infuriating, and wholly inexcusable outcome. You're not some especially monstrous thing. You're not a lone goddamn wolf or a rare exception to some general rule or an isolated fucking edge case. And I know it because people in my world make choices similar to yours EVERY SINGLE DAY, even if their means of enacting those choices differ from yours.
The capacity to inflict horror upon other living things is part of the human condition. It is in ALL OF US, whether we want to fucking acknowledge it or not. And all it takes to bring it out is a long enough string of psychologically damaging events in the absence of appropriate support. Cases like yours are NOT random events caused by "inherently bad people"; there's no such fucking thing as "inherently bad people". There are conditions and events that lead to people doing horrific things, and these conditions and events can be found and prevented before they get to that point, if only everyone keeps their eyes open and pays attention! I spend as much time as I can trying to reach those that conventional wisdom says are "unreachable" PRECISELY in service to trying to keep my eyes open and pay attention!
Because horrific events and bad choices are like bacteria - they DO NOT spontaneously generate ("spontaneous generation theory" used to be a thing that people believed about microorganisms a long time ago)! Conditions LEAD TO THEIR GROWTH. And the solution to a person afflicted with bacteria is NOT to kill or demonize them (though this is how they used to be treated; check out most of human history!)! You're supposed to give them antibiotics to REMOVE THE CONDITIONS THAT ALLOW FOR BACTERIAL GROWTH. And the same rules apply to people who make violent choices - you remove the conditions that produce the choices, NOT the person who made them. But goddammit, I am only one person, and… fuck, there are just SO. MANY. STARFISH… stranded on the beach sand…
Also, you know… even as far back as the original game, anyone with half a brain understood that you must have been crying, weeping, sobbing openly during your time at the library. In this version of events, we saw you do that for just a moment before it was choked back and replaced with… something else (I know what this is like; I still have the capacity to cease crying immediately via dissociation; this skill was literally beaten into me, and I imagine it's the same for you). And in my world, it's popular to believe that men should never cry or be vulnerable in any way, shape, or form (this bit of socio-cultural bullshit is actually generational trauma, and it's literally fucking killing people, in the form of internalized or externalized violence), so lots of people here are going to have less empathy for you at least in part because you defied the "cultural norms" of what it means to be a man and a leader (again, this is generational trauma mistaken for culture, and it needs to fucking stop because people are dying over it). And it's so… it's so…
Ugh… Sephiroth, all of the things I know, all the suffering in the world, all the causes of it… it's all swirling around in my head today, and it's heavy. It's so fucking heavy. Watching all the people, every single one of them beautiful and good, doing what they do to themselves and each another, hurting themselves and each other, psychologically or physically maiming themselves and each other, even torturing and killing themselves or each other, all because somehow doing these things feels easier than trying to repair and restore everything… they don't know what they're doing. And there's not… there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I look at the state of things on a large scale. Our dying planet. The endless wars. The marginalized groups of people. The violence and the hate crimes. The genocides. I want to cry and to scream and to throw up all at once.
…But I suppose much of that is neither here nor there. Suppose anyone with "conventional wisdom" would tell me I'm "reading too goddamn much" into a "silly video game", but… given that the media in our world LITERALLY PERPETUATES STEREOTYPES THAT KILL PEOPLE, I gotta say I'm more than a little fucking bitter about that today.
In any case… you - an abused, exploited, and bullied person most of your life - escaped being owned by Shinra (in the clumsiest and most ridiculous and horrible fucking way possible, but still), only to find yet another goddamn chain around your neck. If it's not Jenova controlling you, then it's your trauma and conditioning pulling the strings. Either way you're acting like a goddamn puppet. There, I said it. And as much as I love you, if you don't like that I said it, then too fucking bad; maybe try actually DOING something about it.
Sephiroth. As much as I love you, I am always going to be more than a little pissed about the fact that you squandered your voice so recklessly back then. I'm always going to be more than a little pissed about the fact that you fucking! abused! yourself! for a week! until you broke! WHAT THE FUCK.
If you had simply! Told people! What you had been put through! If you had told them what Shinra was doing! If you had simply opened your freaking mouth to talk about your experiences to a bunch of people who practically worshipped you, you would have eventually had millions of people rallied with you to put an end to Shinra! Sephiroth, for fuck's sake, YOU WERE A GODDAMN GENERAL!! You know how to lead people! And you know how to protect them! Get a goddamn grip!
And I know that the mayor guy acted all entitled to your time while you were exhausted and still grieving for your friends, and it was shitty of him to pass judgment on you when he had no idea what you were going through. But ultimately, it is up to YOU to communicate your needs and feelings, not up to the people around you to anticipate what they are! And I know that the guy took your picture without your permission, and I know they didn't heed when you said "not today". But there is a difference between "having no respect for your word" and "being so excited and happy about your presence that they are unable to contain themselves". It is still up to YOU to maintain your boundaries even if other people don't like it!
Sephiroth! I know that you were struggling! And I know that you spent your whole life being bullied and abused to the point that you felt as though your voice had no power. I know that. I understand that. I am still dragging myself up out of that hole. I know that you were trying to punish evil, and that you saw these people as being complicit in the system that hurt you, your friends, your mother (who I assume you now know is Lucrecia, NOT Jenova), and your planet. I get that you were trying to punch your bullies back in their faces, but you punched the WRONG PEOPLE. And even then: why punch people when you can instead wield your voice!
Sephiroth, despite the harshness of your upbringing and all the other things that make you stand out, you still have privilege! You have status! You have fame! You have power! You have a remarkably able male body! YOU ARE THE KIND OF PERSON THAT PEOPLE LISTEN TO! You have a face that people are willing to see! You have a voice that people are willing to hear! And there is a difference between holding people accountable for being complicit in a system that benefits them, and punishing people for existing in a system (even if that system benefits them) that they did not consent to being born into!
You can't even begin to imagine what I would be willing to give up in order to have a voice like yours, so that I could call for compassion and mercy in ways that would get people to open their eyes and take action in service to putting a stop to all the suffering that exists in this place that I live in.
But no. Instead of being brave and coming out of your shell to use your voice and social power in response to injustice and exploitation, you simply defaulted to your instinctual behaviors. You did the thing you've been trained to do. Like Pavlov's dog, the bell was rung and you drooled everyfuckingwhere. You used your power to cut everything down, instead of using your voice to rally people together for a cause that they ABSOLUTELY would have followed because YOUR face and YOUR voice would have been the one leading it.
Sephiroth. This fucking sucks. What you did to yourself in that library - starving, dehydrating, and sleep depriving yourself and pushing yourself past your limits while you were already strained - fucking sucks. And what you did in the throes of your agony also sucks. Punishing the people around you because your brain was addled and you didn't fucking fact-check what you were reading fucking sucks! And I do understand very well why you did all this; I was abused similarly to you, albeit in a far less extreme way, and thus a long time ago I used to think similarly to the way you did after your fall (I don't think that way anymore because I had help, thank freaking goodness). But IT STILL FUCKING SUCKS. And it was STILL unacceptable. You can't change what you did. But you can make a different choice, moving forward!
Conventional wisdom says that there is no coming back from having fallen, but I am living proof that in this case, "conventional wisdom" is GARBAGE. I would not be sitting here, imploring you to turn your eyes towards a kinder, more compassionate worldview - one that exists in stark defiance of everything I used to believe because of what I was taught as a child - if "conventional wisdom" were true. In addition, I have met other people in the course of my derping around on this broken fucken planet who also serve as proof that anyone, no matter what has happened to them or what they've done in the past, can rise up into making a different choice. And these cases, too, are not "edge" cases. They are not exceptions to a rule. The capacity to heal and grow and change - just like the capacity to hurt and regress and stagnate - is part of the human condition. And this means that anyone can turn around! No! Matter! How! Far! They've! Walked! In! The! Wrong! Direction!!
Goddammit, Sephiroth! Turn yourself around!! Because although I understand what you're trying to do, what you're doing is NOT the way to get it done! What you're doing is BULLSHIT! Maybe you think you're demonstrating your "phenomenal power" or whatever by breaking everything around you, but what you're REALLY doing is yielding to your conditioning like it's got a chain around your neck and a cattle prod in its hand! It's weaksauce! You ALREADY KNOW HOW TO BREAK THINGS. You've spent your whole life being forced to do that even when you didn't want to!
So you gonna, you gonna what? Sit here and claim that you're "the chosen one" or some fucking horseshit, as though you've taken your power back? When really you just took the easy route of doing the same old shit you've always done - bending over and making yourself a slave to someone else's fucked-up agenda, and becoming the very thing you reviled against SO HARD that you burned down an entire fucking village in disgust, despair, and rage? I ain't buyin' it, and neither should you! All you've done is exchanged one codependent relationship for another! And it's getting fucking old! You can do better than blind, subservient obedience to some random fucking space parasite that don't give even two shits about you as much as it cares about your capacity to allow it to resume its life cycle! You've gotta know that even if you really did manage to break everything (you won't, because I fucking promise you that you'll be stopped), as soon as you've served its purpose, it's gonna toss ya like yesterday's trash, if not outright consume you like a female mantis after it's done using its mate like a fucktoy!
The developers said that we've only seen 1% of your power or some shit, but you fucking know what? You could wipe the whole goddamn universe clean. You could extinguish every last star. And STILL some random fucking autistic chick from some random fucking planet in a random fucking solar system in a random fucking galaxy has your ass beat in ALL the ways that count! And that's NOT ACCEPTABLE. I am nothing! I am NO ONE. Sephiroth!! COME ON ALREADY!!
You want strength? Do the work to defy your conditioning. Do the work to love the broken things. Do the work to become someone who does no harm yet takes no shit. Do the work to become someone who can remain soft even in this sharp and unforgiving world. Do the work to get out of your own damn way. Do the work to become someone who can treat yourself like you actually fucking matter. Do the work to get up off your knees and live. DO! THE! WORK! Don't just do the same thing you've always done and claim you've won! Don't act like a pigeon playing chess - shitting all over the board and then struttin' and swaggerin' around like you're some kind of grandmaster! That's NOT how this shit works! You haven't broken free of the pattern! All you've done is changed the hand holding your leash!
You have to stop blindly giving away your power to anyone who claims to love you! You have to stop using your power in service to the conditioning that tried to snatch away who you really are on the inside! They tried to steal away your gentleness! They tried to steal away your emotions! They tried to steal away your ability to cry, your ability to be vulnerable, your ability to be compassionate and loving! Are you just gonna sit here and let them? Are you going to keep pretending like you're cruel and hard-hearted just because a bunch of people who cared nothing for you told you that's how a proper warrior is supposed to be? Are you going to keep on like this, doing the same thing you've always done, just because taking the time to grieve and to make choices that are actually in alignment with your nature are things that feel too difficult for you to do?
…Fucking hell, but some days, clamoring for you to get your shit together feels A LOT like Atreyu trying to pull Artax up out of the swamp:
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Come on!!! Turn around!!! You have to, NOW! You have to try!! You have to care!! You can't let the darkness overtake you! You gotta move or you'll die!! Please!! There's still life on the other side of mistakes. There's still life on the other side of despair. There's still life on the other side of rage, of loss, of shattering. It doesn't have to be permanent!
…I won't give up. Even if you leave those of us who care for you sitting and weeping in the middle of the swamp, staring forlornly, or in shock and in disbelief at the place where you sank, I'm not going to quit. I will keep calling out your name in hopes that you'll follow the sound back to the light. Because you're worth the effort. You're worth the pain. You're worth the grief.
I'll leave you with these:
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Take the hands outstretched to you and get your ass out of the goddamn swamp. Having a swamp ass is not a good time for ANYONE involved. So please. I…
…I'll write to you tomorrow. Because I love you. In the same way that any person loves their friends. Do everything in your power to keep yourself and your planet and your friends safe. I'm begging you. Please.
Your friend, Lumine
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nanabansama · 3 months ago
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JSHK 117
I wasn't going to comment on this chapter yet but just bolted up with a start because of this anon i got the other day combined with the fact we are back in the Red House HAHA
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Considering the cast thinks Tsukasa-kun is different from the Tsukasa from the previous world...
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...the idea that Tsukasa-kun isn't Tsukasa is very much on the table. So what if the real Tsukasa is trapped with the other kannagi right now, below the Red House? And what if he is in danger of being corrupted like them?!
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And ironically, I nearly completely dismissed this idea in my response to the ask!
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But honestly, I do still kinda doubt Tsukasa would rot away. The idea of him ACTUALLY being stuck with the other kannagi for once is such an idea though!!!
I realize this is all total crack theory territory but the Red House being back on the table is sooo exciting! I'm definitely thinking we'll see Katakuri again, at least, which could imply us tackling the kannagi degradation issue again anyway.
Personally, I'm kind of hoping we will see the Yugi Parents too but I'm not holding my breath too much. I just miss 'em yknow! We don't even know their names yet...
I think there are a lot of juicy mysteries in this chapter I'm totally ignoring rn but currently what I most want to know is:
1. Was the teacher that asked Kou to go the Red House Yugi-sensei? And was that like how Nene met Yugi-sensei--a time slip during the school festival--or simply old man Amane?
2. Who is the voice in Kou's head? It has watery bubbly speech bubbles like the Pit God, and clearly it's some side effect of being possessed by it, but what if there's another answer...?
3. WHY THE HELL WOULD THEY BOTH(?) SEND HIM THERE?!?!
So needless to say I am incredibly excited for the next one. Unexpectedly really enjoying Mitsukou's new paranormal investigation stint too. I can't believe AidaIro is having them walk straight into imminent danger twice. 😭 (Preferable to Nene being a damsel again at least!)
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quirkwizard · 3 months ago
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Do you think there would be any way in which UA's entrance exam could be fairer? For example, together with the test in which the robots are defeated, there could be points for rescuing victims who could also be robots created just for the simulation.
I've already gone over why I don't think the Entrance Exam isn't as bad as everyone says it is, but I can still try to write about changing it.
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The ultimate issue with trying to fix the Entrance Exam is a matter of numbers and people. There are a lot of students who try to get into UA. Considering that hordes of kids at the exams, there must be hundreds, if not thousands of students who may be taking these exams. How do you make something "fair" for Sero and Kirishima? Two kids with a lot of promise but very different skills? It's going to be difficult to make something that can accommodate everything to make it as fair as possible without limiting the number of people that are coming in. You also have to deal with people who may or not have been training their Quirks as much, so you can't introduce them to any real danger or have them fight each other. Imagine the harm Denki could do by complete accident. The only way you could begin to make a fairer Entrance Exam is by limiting the amount of people who are able to get in. That way, you could make exams that have that are more suited for more advanced Quirk users and have a more personal touch on the part of the teachers. Like, you need certain grades or recommendations in order to have a chance to get into the school, but that just seems like you are trading out one kind of unfairness for another.
That being said, there are a few ways you could try to improve it. My initial inclination is just having more tests for the students to go through and have the robot test be the first one, but that could simply make situations where other promising students aren't given a chance. The others would be more band aid, like expanding the general studies course to make a bigger pool of candidates that may have slipped through the cracks. I ultimately think that the best idea is that you change up the kind of robots the students are fighting and the objects they have. Instead of simply having robots where you smash them, you give the students various objects across the area. This could be anything from protecting a position being attacked by robots for Kirishima and Denki, trying to get an item guarded by robots for Hagakure and Ojiro, reach a certain point while being attacked by robots for Iida and Sero, finding certain information for Jiro and Shoji and so on and so forth. Different kinds of points can then be used to grade what the student is good at. Or at least, make it more clear that they can be graded on that. That way, you could keep the general set up that can fit all of these kids while giving them greater chances at getting into the school.
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foxwitchaine · 5 months ago
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Which is your most hated character in Miraculous Ladybug?
I wouldn't say hate so much as strongly dislike, as it takes a lot for me to outright loathe a fictional character. More often than not, I have better things to spend my energy on than hating a fictional character.
But if I were to answer that, five take the top spot:
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1.) Lila Rossi
I know. Surprising, isn't it. Well, it's all fun and games until you actually meet one in real life. And it's frustrating as hell getting those with the wool over their eyes to listen until it's too late. I have to emphasize that it wasn't originally part of the plan to redeem her in the early drafts. It was thanks to Rafe that I even considered doing a Lila redemption.
Lila had a lot of potential in the early seasons. Of course, that was before she was turned into a one-dimensional villain with little in the way of making her interesting. It says something that I got the feeling the showrunners were trying to make her hateable without actually putting in the effort while reading the Chameleon transcripts. (I had to stop reading to settle my blood pressure)
All in all, Lila is just a symptom of a bigger underlying issue regarding the show's writing. I personally think she has a very nice design, but it looks better in 2D than 3D.
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2.) Gabriel Agreste
He's a severely underwhelming main villain. At the start, he had potential. But as the series drags on, it's become painfully clear that the showrunners don't actually know how to make a compelling main villain. He was surprisingly much more intimidating and better-designed in the pilot PV.
Gabriel also lacks the charisma you would find with iconic main villains such as Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII, the rogues gallery in the first Powerpuff Girls, Batman's rogues gallery, and so on. I could make a whole post about how to write Gabriel better, but I don't feel like resurrecting a dead horse.
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3.) Adrien Agreste
The poster boy for wasted potential. When Rafe and I first started watching Miraculous Ladybug, Season 2 hadn't been released yet. He was nice, if a bit bland. Could have used some flavorblasting in both design and personality (he's a fashion model, for crying out loud. Where's his fabulous wardrobe?)
And then all the red flags in Seasons 3-5 started popping up.
As it stands, he's nothing more than a plot device to humiliate poor Marinette. And a mouthpiece for the writers' very skewed morality. We weren't going to redeem him at first, but then it occurred to me a fantastic way to strike a devastating blow against Gabriel. I won't say anything more since they're spoilers.
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4.) Alya Césaire
Ohhhh boy. Where do I even begin with this one? Disregarding the racism allegations towards the writers regarding her character, Alya is just an awful best friend, plain and simple. While it's true that she's a go-getter who isn't afraid to go for what she wants, that same trait has pretty much been solidified into a toxic trait courtesy of her refusal to question Lila later in the show. Even after Marinette broke down in front of her and confessed her secret identity in Gang of Secrets.
I will forever hate that episode just for how entitled everyone was about Marinette's secrets.
When Rafe and I were brainstorming who to use as our civilian antagonist to fill in for Lila, it was rather telling that Alya was among our first choices. It wasn't our intention for her to fall as hard as she did in The Wolves in the Woods, but honestly? It was inevitable.
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5.) Caline Bustier
She's a non-authority figure who coddles the troublemakers in her class. I'm restraining myself at the moment because I've had teachers just like her in real life. Who look good on paper and are the sweetest people on the outside. But their inability to discipline a class regardless of behavior does a lot more damage in the long run than many would care to admit.
Bustier is a character who I could have grown to understand if the writers handled her better. The biggest brat of the school is the daughter of the city mayor. That right there is a beautiful setup for interesting conflict. We could have gotten a plot where we had a good, caring teacher trapped in a terrible situation by her superiors. Which is unfortunately something that can and does happen in real life. Instead, we got an airhead who can't for the life of her understand this simple thing called nuance.
I find it very telling the fandom prefers Mendeleiev over her.
Honorable Mentions:
Principal Damocles: Too much of a spineless noncharacter to really care about
Tom and Sabine: I try to understand the parents' side of things given parenting is far from an easy task
Bustier's class: A mixed bag here, since I don't think they're necessarily bad kids
Mayor Bourgeois: Again, another mixed bag here since he's another spineless "parent"
Zoé Lee: Too much of a blank slate to have an opinion on
Félix Fathom: What kind of a name is that?
Master Fu: He was done so dirty in his backstory
Chloé Bourgeois: Another with wasted potential
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melanieph321 · 10 months ago
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Ruben Dias x Reader - Fake Love Part 4/8
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
18+
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Reader is a kindergarten teacher. Nothing more nothing less. But following an accident whistle vacation in Dubai she somehow makes her boyfriend believe that she does somthing else for a living, something that earns her way more money than she has. Her boyfriend, Ruben, is just happy to have found someone who understands him so well, someone who doesn't want him for his money since money isn't an issue for neither reader or himself. Or so thinks. Would finding out the truth ruin their newfound relationship? Readers thinks so, and does everything to keep up the lie, although it has some bad people from the middle east looking for her.
Enjoy!
"Taxi!"
You called for one outside of the airport in London. You were tired from the journey and longed for a hot shower back at your apartment.
"Taxi!" You shouted, quite desperate for one to pull up.
"Y/N, chill." Alicia said. "Our ride will be here in a minute."
"Our ride?" You frowned.
Alicia nodded, phone still pressed to her ear. "I'm consulting the Siddiq family right now, see if they can send us a...."
Alicia's eyes widened with terror as you lunged for her phone, forcing her to hang up.
"Whatta fuck Y/N!"
"Are you crazy?" You hissed
"Am I crazy, are you crazy Y/N? Give me back my phone for fuck sakes."
You held her phone behind your back, refusing to return it. "Alicia we are not doing this. We can not continue spending somone elses money. It has to end. Right now."
"Why? They owe us don't they?"
"No Alicia, they owe us nothing, especially not you." It was not her leg that grilled in the fire. "The Siddiq family has shown us enough kindness then we deserve, this will not go on any longer, agreed?"
She didn't agree. However, she could tell how serious you were about this. "Fine." She said, stretching out a hand, demanding her phone back.
"Who are you gonna call?"
"Well, it's not Ghostbusters, is it? I'm calling a taxi."
You handed her back the phone, a sly smile on your face.
The days passed quickly there on, like your time in Portugal never happened. The burn on your leg healed but roughly, the skin not as smooth on that part of your leg. The only times it bothered you was when you got out of the shower, standing naked in front of the bathroom mirror. However, no one was gonna see you naked, at least not for some time. Yes, you felt guilty for giving Ruben a fake number, but you held your ground when it came to not live off of some rich business man in Dubai. It was the only reason Ruben was interested in you in the first place, because he thought you were rich like him. But no more lies. Meeting Ruben was a lie and even though falling for him felt real it was built on a lie and no relationship could ever flourish from somthing like that, right?"
"Miss?"
"Miss?"
"Yes, Simon?"
You snapped out of your daydreams, peering over your desk to see one of your kindergarten students with a pen up their nose."
"It's stuck." He said.
You sighed, rising from behind your desk. "Let's go to the nurses office shall we?"
"Okay."
You had one of your colleagues come in and cover for you whilst you escorted Simon to the school nurse. Yes, your life was really back to it's glamorous self.
"Hey, Y/N? Need a lift?"
It was Byron, seen crossing the school parking lot to get to you. You were really not in the mood, still adjusting being back to work. All you wanted to do was go home and lay in your bath.
"Sure Byron, why not."
He was considered a friend, although you know he never really got over your brief hook up in university.
"The kids are glad to have you back."
"Oh, thanks Byron. That's nice of you to say."
He drove you home the long way, avoiding the highway that would only take you ten minutes to arrive.
"Not only the kids." He added. "I missed you too."
Your smile was stiff, but at least it was something.
"When Nina told me what happened to you in Dubai I got so worried that I had to take a day off just to calm myself down, not to worry the kids that their teacher wasn't coming back to work."
"That sweet of you Byron. But it wasn't a serious thrid degree burn, my skin heald pretty quickly." Your boss Nina made it seemed like you lost a limb or something. Mainly because Alicia's dramatic Tik Tok's had people assuming the worst. Even your parents called you in concern after your brothers came across one of Alicia's vlogs from the hospital in Dubai.
"Well, I'm just glad you're back."
"Thanks Byron."
He was a sweet guy, not relationship sweet, but a descent human being sweet. You appreciate how much he cared for you as a friend.
"I have no problems giving you a ride to and from work, I mean we're basically on the same schedule."
"Thanks Byron, but I don't think that will be necessary."
Alot of people had offered to help you out,  even your boss suggested you'd cut back on your hours a work, however, it wasn't necessary. You needed something to take your mind off things. With things you meat, your agonizing thoughts of what could have been between you and Ruben.
Arriving home, you grabbed yourself a light snack from the fridge whilst waiting for your hot tub to fill with water. Once it did you, stripped yourself of your clothes, slipping I to the scolding water, allowing the heat to relax your muscles. You did not stay relaxed for long though, seeing as there was an incoming facetime call from your phone. "What?" You grunted, since now was not the time to hear about the latest gossip at Alicia's workplace.
"Hey, gorgeous,"
You stiffened at the sound of his voice.
"Ruben?"
You were looking into the screen of your phone, in disbelief of who was staring back at you. It was Ruben, with his hair sprouting in every direction as he looked to lay back in a bed, one arm draped behind his neck. "Um...hi." You stuttered, not really sure how any of this was possible.
Ruben smiled "I just wanted to see how you're doing and see if you're missing me as much as I'm missing you."
"Um, how...?"
"Did I get your real number?" He chuckled.
Heat rose to your face.
"Well, after calling "your number" over a hundred times, Fabio let me get in touch with your friend who told me what was going on."
"Alicia gave you this number?"
"Mhm." He nodded, tossing what looked to be a grape, into his mouth. "She told me that you thought that I wasn't that into you, that perhaps I was only out to screw you over or something."
"She did what?"
"It's ridiculous, I agree. How do you even come up with something like that? I mean you're the one who screwed me over by letting me call a fake number like an idiot."
There was a jab in your stomach as his tone was serious, laced with sincere hurt. "Ruben I'm so sorry. I didn't..."
"Let's not play the blame game." He waved. "Your friend made it clear that you haven't been dating for a while and that your game might be a bit stiff."
"Pardon?"
Ruben laughed.
"I am not stiff."
"I believe you." He said, although he had trouble talking between laughs. "I mean you look pretty relaxed in that bathtub back there."
You gasped when you realized. "Oh my god. Ruben I'm...." Embarrassed. You were terrible embaresssed, sinking deeper into the water to cover yourself. You and Ruben hadn't talked for days and the first thing he sees is you slipping him a nipple.
"It's okay, Y/N, really. The view is great from here."
"Oh shut up."
You put the phone away, letting Ruben have a good view of your bathroom ceiling. The tub needed more water, and bubbles, lots of of bubbles.
"There you are." He exclaimed, once you returned to the screen, now neck deep in in the water. "Thought I lost you for a sec."
"Ruben, maybe now is not the time." You said, tormentented by how stupid you must come across to him.
"Y/N." He said, his voice now restrained.
"What?" You muttered, trying to stare at anything but the screen.
"Look at me."
Your eyes looked up, meeting Ruben's kind gaze.
"You're good, okay. Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable by calling unexpectedly. I just...." He sighed, a hand running through his already messy hair. "I can't seem to get you out of my mind."
You sunk deeper into the water,  biting down on your lip. "Me too. I can't stop thinking about you either."
"Well, when can we meet?" He seemed excited that your feelings were mutual.
"Ruben, I'm not sure I'll be going back to Portugal anytime soon. I mean I have a job to do and..."
"Y/N." He said. No. Chuckled.
"What's so funny?" You frowned
"You really don't watch football do you?"
"What do you mean?"
Ruben sat up in bed, showing off the tracksuit he was wearing. "You said you've heard of Manchester United, no?"
"Yes, the English team that you told me played in the Premier League."
"Right. Well I play for their arche rivals Manchester City, meaning I live in Manchester, England."
"Wait what?"
"Yeah."
"So, you're not from Portugal?"
He chuckled. "I'm from Portugal Y/N, I was born and raise there. But just like you I was just on vacation. I got back to Manchester yesterday."
"So what you're saying is that we're both in England as we speak?"
"Yes. And my team has fixtures in London all the time, meaning I'll be able to come see you between games."
"Right."
The problem was that you had once again lied to Ruben when he asked you were in England you lived. You figured London sounded more suitable abode for a business woman, not Chells Way, Stevenage.
"Y/N, you alright?"
The downside about facetime was that your emotions were all on display. Ruben clearly caught your reaction to his offer and it was not what he had expected.
"Of course, there is no pressure for us to meet." He said, clearing his throat. "I just thought, that it was something that we both wanted."
"I want to meet." You nodded, although your voice betrayed you. "I just...my job, you know?" It was another lie. You were piling lie upon lie on this fake love of yours. Nevertheless, Ruben ate it all up, nodding understandingly. "I get it."
He was so kind. He didn't deserve this from you, from anyone.
"Ruben?" You whispered, following a moment spent in silence.
"Yes."
"I really missed you."
A muscle jerked in the corner of his lips. "I missed you too."
"Tell me." You sighed, leaning back against the tub, splashing water around yourself. "Tell me how much you've missed me."
Ruben froze for a brief moment, seeing you redirect the camera angle in a way that revealed more of your body.
"Alot." He gulped, watching you dip a hand between your legs.
"Yeah? Tell me more."
He couldn't see all of you through the murky water. But as the layers of bubbles disappeared with your slow shifts, the swell of your breast resurfacing.
"Oh, baby don't do this to me." Ruben's head fell back against his pillows as he too adjusted his camera angles. You watched him slip a hand down his sweatpants and stroke whatever he was hiding in there. "I missed you so much, wishing you were here, with me." He moaned, chest heaving up and down with his heavy breathing.
"Ruben, please. Tell me what you want to do to me." You up the pace of the movement between you legs. You we drawing small circles against your clit, the sensation sending chocks of lightning to your body's nerve endings.
"I want to fuck you, hard." He groaned.
"Yeah, and?"
"Fuck you hard and watch your tittes bounce when you ride me."
"Yes, and?" You were squinting your eyes, primitive moans leaving your mouth, echoing throughout your bathroom.
"And..." He grunted on the edge of something. His movements down his pants were faster than yours, unable to contain himself.
"And, Ruben? Please tell me."
"Baby, I can't. I'm close." Ruben's camera shook with the bouncing of his bed. You watch him please himself, please himself to the image of you.
"Me too baby, me too." You arched your back in the tub, one of your legs going over the edge, opening yourself up wider. "Look at me baby, watch me come for you."
He seemed unable to multitask, having to slow down as not to make himself come before you. He watched you please yourself to the point of screaming his name, you're fingers buried deep inside of you.
"Fuck." He groaned, staining his bedsheets with the erruption of his cock.
"That felt good." You smiled, regaining your breath, coming down from the high. "I can't believe I just did that."
"Me neither." Ruben said, no longer in his bed. He looked to be in a small bathroom, washing his hands. "Sametime tomorrow?"
You shook your head, unable to hide your smile. "Goodbye Ruben."
He smiled, a cheeky smile. "Goodbye Y/N."
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tako-cafe · 2 months ago
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thought about this a lot but the NRC staff really don't make as much money as what I see said. Now taken it is very few posts that exist but I love a chance to be a little nerd and research random topics. I won't be adding Sam into this as running the store he would have a different measurement of how much income he gets. I'll also only be using Ivy/private UNIs as my baseline not public ones as NRC seems to be seen as somewhat prestigious. And ofc this is my own HC so don't take it seriously!
Starting with Crowley as his job as headmaster. Now we know he was offered this job so he does not own the school so there is a mystery higher up somewhere. Now he does seem to do the budget too which means he more likely decided salaries out of it and how I see him isn't particularly...kind. I'm going in the middle of the salary lists and saying he gives himself $908,642. Not low at all, but it isn't the highest one b/c he is just so so kind.
Mozus being the one there the longest would have the highest pay naturally of the teachers. Raises, bonuses, and just being a long running teacher I am placing him at $226,000 a year. It isn't anything to scoff, but I also believe he's one to put most of it away and stay humble with a family home and basic care while putting it all away for his girls. He doesn't have high end assets to add more to this worth.
Crewel being a younger science professor but still having a few years under his belt I would place at $170,000. He is one to not see tons of that at first because of his car with upkeep, insurance for what it is, and he feels like he drops a lot into it. Along with his love of fashion. He drops so much on sewing supplies and high end clothing. Thankfully his pay can make him think he can keep up this lifestyle.
Vargas is actually the youngest but I had issues finding one for him due to him teaching pe + flight. The smallest salary is $150,000 so that is where I placed him. Does fully drop tons of it on his workout and food supplies lets be for real.
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aibidil · 1 year ago
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we gotta stop telling moms* to learn to ask for and accept help
this is a pseudo-mental-health bullshit way of subtly individualizing a multilayered structural and societal (often classist) problem wherein people in general, parents especially, mothers specifically, and neurodivergent mothers to the extreme, are left to fend for ourselves in ways that are frankly unprecedented in the history of human beings
I'm sure there are people who struggle to ask for help. (I've never been one of them.) What I'm saying is, even if they could learn to, it wouldn't solve anything!
Let's look at the assumptions behind "you need to learn to ask for help!"
That there's someone to ask. Who tf are we meant to be asking? If you live in a culture where families have scattered, you might not have any family nearby. Maybe you're lucky enough to have a partner, but if so, I feel like we can already assume you're asking for help from them, and them from you. (If you're not, that's a whole separate issue.) But often the overwhelm isn't such that an equitable division of labor between two parents can solve the problem. I have one non-partner family member nearby whom I can ask for help, and that actually feels pretty lucky.
That people you ask will agree to help. I recently messaged the entire school community list begging someone to drive one of my kids home on Wednesdays, figuring that many people must be going in that direction anyway and surely someone would be willing to stop the car and let my kid out at the end of my street. When I didn't get any responses from the wider community, I sent a smaller plea to the parents in my kids' classes. Nothing! Nada!
That our problems are such that others can (easily) help. There's a tragic het script that's like "I don't bother to ask him for help because I end up doing more work to get him to help than it would've been to do myself" (and yes that's fucked), but that's not even what I'm pointing to here. There are so many ways that the structures of our society make it so that people can't get help from others. School pickup, for example: most schools have policies that only parent/guardians or someone given prior permission can pick up students. If a parent is unexpectedly in a jam, this makes finding help a lot trickier and probably involves calling the school and trying to grant last-minute permission. Helping a kid with homework, for example: No matter what I do, teachers email/call me. This means that if I assign this task to my partner or some other person, I have to constantly be an in-between who is like, the arbiter of information. Going to the pharmacy: once I went to the pharmacy to help a neighbor with a kid who had been vomiting for 12 hours straight, and it was so difficult. First I had to pick up their insurance card, write down the kid's name, dob, etc. I still didn't know half the answers to things they asked me as I painstakingly eventually managed to pick up this kid's prescription.
That you have money to pay for outsourcing. Often, when it comes down to it, the only way our society seamlessly allows for help is through monetizing the tasks. It's possible to hire housecleaners or a nanny, for example. You can pay for grocery delivery. But (even if you're totally fine with becoming an employer, which I've never been) is that financially within reach for most people? No!!!
That the tasks that are hardest for you are tasks that can be outsourced. With adhd, my biggest chore struggles are getting myself to water the plants and getting myself to fill the pill organizers. These are not the easiest chores to get help with! I mean, even laundry would be easier, as you could chuck it all into a giant bag and hand it over to a service to be washed. But plants? They're all over my house and on different watering schedules. The pill organizers? That's controlled substances (Adderall, baby) and it's confusing with multiple times of day, etc -- who is going to take that on? Even my partner is too worried to get it wrong.
That, even if you have money, the service you need exists. I really want help with food preparation, but I have MCAS and specific dietary needs. Also, I don't want help with dinners (my partner does that) so much as I want help with snacks/lunch. I know what I would make if I had the energy to. There are no services in my area that could help me. I guess I could hire a personal chef, but I can't even begin to afford that and even then, many wouldn't work bc they're not all willing to work with different dietary needs. I tried finding something I could order by mail, but there's nothing that's a great fit and it's all too expensive for me.
The problem is not that moms don't know how to ask for and accept help. Every time we say that, we reinforce the idea that the problem is an individual one, that the fault lies with moms. It's a structural one, and it doesn't. Many of us are well aware of how to ask for help. If we aren't asking, it's because we know it's futile.
*The choice to gender this as "moms" is a conscious one, even though it also applies to some men and nb people. In my view, it really is a gendered problem that overwhelmingly affects women who are mothers. Because of that, generalizing to "people" or "parents" seems to me like it would be watering down the problem, at best, or erasing the gendered component of the problem, at worst. We also shouldn't say "you need to learn to ask for help" to dads, nonbinary parents, and non-parents—but we generally don't say that to those groups anyway! The vast majority of the time, I see this being said specifically to mothers. Moreover, the response that dads get to asking for help is often different. A dad asking for help strikes people as going above and beyond and is therefore more likely to trigger people to actually help him. Think about dads whose wife goes out of town and all these people bring him casseroles. Our society is often really good at giving some help—but only in extreme cases (emergencies like acute sickness or hospital stays, grief, ….a dad alone with kids for some reason, etc), and moms asking for help with mundane things simply does not count as a justification for help in most people's minds.
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