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squiggledrop · 4 years

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Of Lace and Love - Spencer Reid x Reader

Masterlist

Summary: It is Valentine’s Day, and Spencer has a romantic night planned for Reader, but she has other plans in mind.

Word Count: 6.3k

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Category: Smut, Fluff (NSFW, 18+)

Warnings: Oral sex, penetrative sex (unprotected), fingering

You woke up to Spencer pressing gentle kisses to your face. You opened your eyes, smiling and meeting his warm gaze. You brought your hand up to his face, running your thumb over his cheek. He leaned into your touch, placing a chaste kiss on your palm.

“Happy Valentine’s Day (Y/n),” he whispers.

“Happy Valentine’s Day Spence,” you smile.

He kept staring at you through his glazed over eyes, and you could feel your cheeks flush under his gaze.

“What?” you laughed, searching his eyes.

“You’re beautiful.” He said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Feeling your heart swell with all the love you held for the man next to you, you slid your hand to the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. His warm lips met yours, his hands coming to rest at your waist. Your tongue grazed his lip and was immediately met with him opening his mouth, deepening the kiss.

Soft whimpers filled the room, and Spencer shifted so that he was laying on top of you. His knee slotted between your thighs, and you could feel him growing against you. He leaned down, desperate for more, and you both moaned at the added pressure. He smiled into your mouth, feeling how wet you were against his thigh. With the added encouragement, he griped your hips, pulling you against him, providing you both with the relief you so desperately craved.

Leaning down, he attached his mouth to your jaw, trailing soft, warm kisses down the length of your neck. Your hands ran through his hair, your body pushing into his. He nipped at your pulse point, eliciting a desperate moan from your swollen lips.

“Spence,” you breathed, placing a hand on his chest. He stopped his actions, his pleading eyes peering up at you. “We’re gonna be late,” you say with a sympathetic sigh. You run your finger over his plump lips, wanting nothing more than to spend the entire day in bed with Spencer.

“I know,” he groans, rolling off of you. He turns his head, brown curls shifting against the pillowcase, as he took one last look at you before leaving the comfort of your shared bed. “Just wait until tonight”, he smirks, “after what I have planned, you’ll never be leaving this bed again.” “I’ll be holding you to that,” you mumble against his lips as he leans down for one last kiss before getting ready for the day.

You watched as he entered the bathroom, smiling to yourself. You knew Spencer had something special planned for tonight, but what he didn’t know was that you had a plan of your own.

After hearing the water from the shower start, you got yourself up, excited to initiate phase one.

Spencer spat out his toothpaste, finishing brushing his teeth. “Hey, (Y/n),” he calls, walking back into the bedroom, “I was thinking, for tonight would you rather-”

You looked up, feigning confusion as to why he stopped mid-sentence. You were met with his mouth hung open, and his eyes glued to your body. You cocked your head and raised your eyebrows, questioning his sessile state. “Would I rather what?” you asked innocently, leaning down to grab a skirt out of your dresser.

“W-would um-,” Spencer stuttered, trying to form a coherent thought, which posed itself as quite difficult when face to face with his practically nude girlfriend. “Sorry,” he said, shaking his head, “wha-what are you wearing?”

“Underwear”, you said, biting back a smirk at what might be the understatement of the year.

You had gone shopping with the girls the week prior, and when you saw this in the lingerie store, you knew you had to have it for tonight. It was red, lacey, and barely covered anything: it was perfect. You watched as Spencer raked over your form, noticing the way his eyes traced your ass that was on full display. You slipped your short black skirt over it, making sure to give it a good shake in the process. Reaching for your blouse, you saw Spencer gulp, the redness spreading across his cheeks almost matching the fabric that rested against your skin.

He watched with bated breath, wanting nothing more than to rip the delicate piece of fabric that barely covered your chest off of you. He bit his lip, holding back a groan as you fumbled with the buttons of your white blouse, pushing your tits together in the process. Spencer begged for the tiny fabric to give, but he also knew you had to get to work, and right now, you were making that a bit difficult for him.

“Spence,” you giggled, pulling him from his trance. His eyes darted up to meet yours, and he gave you a weak smile, pretending you didn’t just catch him ogling you. “I said, can you help me with these buttons?”

He slowly nodded his head, watching as you made your way towards him.

When you were face to face, he hesitated, his gaze shifting between your face and tits. You chuckled, loving how easily you could make him a flustered mess. “Here,” you smiled, bringing his hands to your open blouse. Spencer’s breath hitched as his fingers grazed the supple skin of your stomach and over your breasts.

He tried to get his fingers to stop shaking, but between how soft your skin was, how hot your breath was, and how tight his pants were, he couldn’t help but fumble with the buttons.

Noticing him shift uncomfortably, you looked down, smirking at the bulge growing in his pants. You felt the wetness pooling in your panties, and you sighed, desperately wanting his trembling fingers to touch you a bit lower. But, you couldn’t give in just yet.

“You seem a bit distracted, baby,” you cooed, dragging your fingers up his chest before placing them over his hands. Spencer looked up at you and blushed, giving you a shy smile. You leaned forwards, your tits pressing against him, and placed a light kiss on his cheek before pulling away.

He let out a small whimper at the loss of contact, but you just gave him a sweet smile before shaking your head and turning to leave the room. He groaned, watching the way your hips swayed as you finished buttoning your blouse.

“Come on Spence, don’t want to be late for work,” you call after him with an innocent grin. He trailed behind, eyes glued to your now clothed body.

“I hate you,” he said, trying to hide his smile as he grabbed his keys.

“I love you too,” you giggled, giving him a chaste kiss before grabbing his hand and making your way out the door. He sighed, giving your hand a quick squeeze, while simultaneously willing his painfully hard cock to go away. But, despite his best efforts, he couldn’t get the thought of what you were wearing under your seemingly innocent work clothes out of his head. This was going to be a long day, he thought to himself.

While riding the subway to work, you took note of how he gripped your hand a little tighter and pulled you a bit closer. The way his eyes scanned for anyone daring to look at you wrong was also not lost on you.

“Spence,” you said in a calming voice, “it’s okay, baby. You are the only one who knows okay?”

“No I- I know. I just,” he trailed off, his gaze switching between your lips and chest. You noticed, of course, and brushed his hair behind his ear. Leaning in, you whispered, “It’s our little secret. Just for you.”

He nodded, trying to ignore how your warm breath sent shivers down his spine. He closed his eyes, reminding himself he only had two more stops to get himself together before having to get through an entire workday beside you. A long day indeed, he huffed, a very long day.

When you got to the office, Spencer told you to go ahead, claiming he just needed a minute to compose himself. You gave him an understanding smile and told him that if he really wanted, you guys could just go home and tell Hotch one of you was sick. Spencer refused, however, determined to not let your surprise ruin his, because regardless of how much he didn’t want to have a boner in front of all his coworkers, he loved that you were doing this for him, and just for him.

Walking to your desk, a bright smile found its way to your face. A giant bouquet of red roses was on your desk, along with a cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin. You gleefully picked up the small card placed between two of the flowers and read it to yourself.

(Y/n),

My love for you stems deep.

Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.

-Spencer

Picking up the cup of coffee, you heard the elevator ding, and you turned around to meet Spencer’s bashful smile.

“How did you do this?” you asked, humming as you took a sip of the coffee.

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” he teased. You smiled, noticing a giddy Penelope out of the corner of your eye.

“Well, thank you, Spencer. They are beautiful.” You leaned into his chest, closing your eyes as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“Not as beautiful as you.” Looking up at him, you placed a loving kiss on his lips. Spencer melted into your touch, bringing his hands to rest on your waist. This, however, was a grave mistake, because now he could feel the thin straps that held the even thinner piece of lace in place, and he was once again reminded of what was behind the silky blouse that was currently between his fingers.

Clearing his throat, Spencer gave you a quick peck before sitting down at his desk. As long as he didn’t have to get up, he should be fine, he convinced himself. Spencer, however, was not aware that phase two had not yet begun.

It had been a few hours, and thankfully, Hotch needed you to go through some files for him, which kept you busy and out of Spencer’s line of sight, meaning he could actually focus and get some work done. He would be lying if he said he was relieved though because a part of him longed for you to be near him, even if it would be impossible to get his work done.

Soon enough, lunch rolled around, and he felt two arms wrap around him from behind. Smelling your perfume, he smiled and turned his head to meet you. You pressed a kiss to the side of his neck, reveling in how he hummed in content.

“You ready to get some lunch?” you asked, lightly rubbing your hands over his shoulders. Spencer tried to answer, but the feeling of you pressed against him made his mind go blank. He gripped his thighs, forcing out a nod. “Okay, are you in the mood for anything in particular?” you asked sweetly, unaware of what you were doing to him.

“You,” he replied nonchalantly. You let out an amused gasp at his words and felt the same arousal return from that morning.

You leaned down, your lips pressing against the shell of his ear. Your hands gripped onto his shoulders and you whispered into his ear. “Soon enough baby.”

Spencer’s eyes screwed shut at your actions, and he resisted the urge to just take you into one of the file closets and do what he’s wanted to do since you both woke up. But, then as if nothing had happened, you stood up straight and went to grab your bag.

“I’m in the mood for thai,” you stated, “What if we go to that place down the street?”

“Yeah, that um- that sounds good.” Spencer stood up, making sure to position his satchel so it covered his crotch. You bit back a smile and took his hand, heading for the elevators.

“Not a word,” he tried to say seriously through a giggle.

“I didn’t say anything,” you amused, giving his hand a tender squeeze.

“No, but you want to,” he smiled, giving you a knowing look.

You stepped into the elevator, waiting for the doors to close before you responded.

“I want to do a lot more than that,” you smirked. Spencer let out an involuntary whimper at your words. Without thinking, he pressed the emergency stop on the elevator.

“There,” he said, looking at you desperately, “now you can.”

“Spencer,” you laughed in amusement at how rash he was being. You loved this side of him, but you would never let him know that.

“Please,” he begged. “I- I know it’s not what either of us had planned, but we can still have a romantic night, and it’s either this or I’m going to get myself off in the bathroom because I’ve been thinking about that little lacey thing that you call undergarments all day a-and I’m pretty sure Derek noticed because I went to get some coffee and when I sat back down he kept smirking at me and-”

“Spence, baby, okay,” you said, running your hands over him, trying to calm his breathing. “I’ll help you take care of that.” He smiled and gave a thankful sigh of relief. You cupped his cheek and brought him in for a tender kiss. His hands found their way back to your chest, but you smirked, pulling them off. Spencer let out a disgruntled sigh, just wanting to see his beautiful girlfriend. “But that,” you placed a kiss to the back of each of his hands, “is for tonight.”

“Okay,” he conceded, desperate to get off and get to lunch.

“Okay,” you smiled, looking into his loving eyes. “How do you want me to do this?” you asked, running your hands along the collar of his shirt.

“Can you suck me off?” He looked at you with wide eyes filled with nothing but love and desire. “Love how you feel around me.”

“Anything for you baby.” He gave you a tender smile, and you pressed a kiss to his lips, trailing your hands down to his waist. He helped you unbuckle his pants as you sunk to the ground. You placed a gentle peck to his clothed cock and felt him twitch beneath you. Feeling your hands take him out of his boxers, he flung his head back, whimpering in anticipation. You placed a few kisses on the tip of his cock before licking up the precum leaking out of it. His moans filled the walls of the elevator when you took him into your mouth, bobbing your head back and forth.

“Fuck, (Y/n)- thank you-” he huffed, “feels so good baby.” You moaned around his dick at the praise, feeling your own arousal gathering at your core. You took him all the way in, and Spencer laced his fingers through your hair when you choked around him. “That’s it baby… ughh… just like that- fuck.”

“Use me Spence”, you moaned, coming up for air. Spencer groaned, his grip tightening on your hair. He began to thrust into your mouth, moaning as you gagged around him.

“Shit, I’m- I’m gonna”, he heaved through moans. He felt you nod your head and moan around him, and then he was coming down your throat. His grip on you eased up as you worked him through his orgasm.

After his breathing steadied, he cupped your cheeks and pulled you up into a kiss. His mouth enveloped yours, his tongue caressing yours. He pulled away slightly, placing another peck to your lips before resting against your forehead.

“Thanks,” he smiled, looking into your eyes. “I love you.”

“Anything for you,” you repeated, meaning every word. “And I love you too.” Spencer pulled you into his chest, slotting his head into your neck and peppering your skin with kisses. You giggled, helping him tuck himself back into his pants.

Once you were both situated, you pressed the emergency button again, and the elevator began to move.

“Wait, you didn’t- do you want me to… I mean I’d love to-”

“Spence, it's okay. I’m good just taking care of you.” He gave you a hesitant look, wanting to make sure you felt good too. “Plus,” you said, leaning into him, “I want to wait for tonight. Don’t want to spoil my dinner,” you teased.

“Alright,” Spencer smirked, wrapping his arms around you.

After getting back from lunch, Spencer felt much better. He had filled his stomach and released his previous issue. All he had to do was get through a few more hours and then it was just you and him all night.

Spencer returned to his desk with two coffees in hand. He placed yours down on your desk with a kiss on your cheek before sitting back down across from you at his desk.

“Thanks, babe,” you smiled.

“No problem, love.” You shared a tender look as you both took a sip of your drinks before getting back to your work. Spencer sighed, flipping through his paperwork, wanting to finish as soon as possible.

That was until he heard your hushed voice.

“Spence,” you whispered with a mischievous glint in your eye, “guess what?”

“What?” he giggled, matching your secretive tone.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” he smiled. You gave him a wink before returning your attention back to the stack of paper in front of you. Spencer admired you for a moment longer before getting back to the stack that inhabited his desk.

A few minutes later, he was so focused on his work that he almost forgot about the fact that you were right across from him. That was, until he felt your foot trail up his ankle, pushing up his pant leg. He immediately dropped the file and his eyes shot up to look at you. You, however, were engrossed in your work, completely unphased by what you were doing to Spencer.

“(Y/n),” he whispered.

“What?” you asked, peering up from your desk.

“We are at work,” he pleaded, looking around to make sure no one had noticed her wandering foot.

“I know,” she said, pretending to have no idea what he was talking about. He stifled a grin and got back to work, counting down the minutes until you could be alone.

You waited a minute, making sure Spencer had focused on his work again, before bringing your foot up his leg again. You watched as Spencer brought his mug up to his lips, taking this as your opportunity. You lifted your leg, drawing it up his leg and thigh, stopping when you saw him choke on his coffee and set his mug down.

“(Y/n),” he said with wide eyes. You tried to hold back your smirk, but it was no use.

“Sorry, it’s just, well, you know how tiny my panties are?” Spencer didn’t know what to do. He always knew what to say, but right now, in the middle of the office, surrounded by his friends and co-workers, he didn’t know what to say. So, he just nodded, hoping no one could tell how much he was loving every second of this. “Well,” you drew out, “they are rubbing against me, and I’m just trying to fix it.”

“Oh.” Spencer didn’t know what to do. All he could think about was how wet you were and how he wished he could just rip those panties off of you and take care of you. “I can- I mean… the elevator?” he said, not entirely sure what he was saying.

“No,” you smiled, “I’ll be okay.” Spencer’s mouth was still agape, and he tried to just get back to work, but it was no use, as his eyes were stuck on you. “I just need to,” you brought your foot back up his leg, watching as he squirmed in his seat, “there,” you smiled, dropping your foot. “All better,” you smiled. Spencer stared at you, cheeks and neck flushed.

He stared as you looked back down at your paperwork. He stared as you were filling out a form as if nothing had happened. He stared at the clock, praying that the last hour of the day would hurry up because he loved you and wanted to kiss you and hold you and make love to you. Because you were sat across from him, in the middle of the office, wearing the most beautiful piece of lingerie he had ever seen, and he was the only one who knew because it was all just for him, and it was driving him crazy, and he loved every second of it.

The workday was finally done, and Spencer practically jumped out of his seat, grabbing your bags and ushering you out of the office. You giggled as he pulled you along, speed walking towards the elevator.

When the doors closed, Spencer’s lips found yours, and he began to release every ounce of pent up arousal from the day.

You smiled into the kiss, letting Spencer’s hands roam your body and squeeze and grab wherever he wanted. His mouth latched onto your neck, not caring how many marks he was leaving in his wake because now it was time for his surprise.

When the elevator doors dinged open, Spencer pressed a kiss to your temple and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest.

“So,” you said, bumping your shoulder into his as you walked to the metro station, “what’s the plan for dinner, besides me,” you joked. Spencer smiled, pulling you closer into him.

“You’ll see,” he smiled. “Wouldn’t want to spoil your dinner,” he teased with raised eyebrows. You playfully rolled your eyes and chuckled, holding his hand as you walked down the stairs at the metro station.

The entire ride to dinner, Spencer’s hand rested on your thigh and your head on his shoulder. Moments like these were always your favorite. You always swore you could live a complete and content life just sitting with Spencer. And you knew he felt the same, so long as he had a book he could read to you.

“We’re here,” Spencer whispered, waking you from your relaxed state. You nodded, getting your bearing as you took his hand and stood up.

“Guess what?” he asked as he led you down the road to the restaurant.

“What?” you smiled.

“I love you,” he gleamed, looking into your eyes

“I love you too.” You kissed underneath his jaw, letting out a giggle.

“What?” he inquired, wishing he could listen to the sound of your laugh for the rest of his life.

“You still love me? Even though I teased you all day?” Spencer laughed and nodded his head.

“Especially because of that,” he said, bringing your joined hand up to his mouth and pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles. You smiled, relaxing into his touch.

“Where are we going?” you asked, noticing you could see the water in the distance.

“Right,” he drew out, pulling you towards a restaurant that sat on the water, “here.”

“Spence, this place is beautiful.” You admired the nautical decor and string lights that hung above your head as Spencer held the door open for you.

“Reid for two,” he said to the hostess.

“Right this way Dr. Reid,” she replied, leading you both through the restaurant. You followed behind Spencer, holding his hand as you walked towards a door at the back of the restaurant. The hostess led you outside and onto a small pier that appeared to be their outdoor seating. However, there was only one table set up, with rose petals covering the ground and a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket on the table. Your eyes lit up, watching how the calm water reflected the setting sun.

Spencer pulled your chair out for you, and you sat down, completely in awe. The hostess left you, and Spencer sat down, reaching for the bottle of champagne. You watched him, completely enamored by the amber glow that filtered through his amber curls.

“Spence,” you said, taking a full glass from him, “this is amazing.” You looked at your beautiful boyfriend and didn’t know how you got so lucky. “Thank you, for everything.”

“Anything for you,” he smiled. You clanked your glasses and took a sip, reveling in the feeling of Spencer running his thumb across the back of your hand.

The two of you enjoyed a lovely dinner over the sunset and into the starry night sky. You talked and laughed, a smile never leaving either of your faces.

When the dessert came out, you thanked the waiter, waiting for him to leave before you gave Spencer a slight pout.

“What's wrong?” he asked, setting down his spoonful of ice cream.

“I thought I was your dessert,” you teased. Spencer let out a small laugh and bit his lip.

“You are, baby, don’t worry,” he brought your hand to his lips and left a chaste kiss in their place. “Good,” you smiled, placing a spoonful of vanilla ice cream in your mouth. You purposefully let a little dribble down your chin and let out a moan that was normally only saved for Spencer’s ears when you were in the comfort of your bed at home.

“Now that’s not nice,” Spencer groaned, watching as you licked the melting ice cream from your mouth.

“Well then come get your dessert.” Spencer looked you in the eyes for a moment, debating his options. Abruptly, he stood up, walking towards the door.

“Where are you going?” you asked.

“To pay the bill,” he said, rushing through the door. You chuckled to yourself, excited to get home.

Spencer raced you up the stairs of your apartment building, both of you desperate to finally be back in bed together. He fumbled with his keys, trying to unlock the door without detaching his lips from yours. He groaned into the kiss, becoming frustrated with the lock.

“Here,” you mumbled against his mouth. You took the keys from his hand and turned away so you could see the lock. Spencer whined from the loss of your lips but remedied it by kissing behind your ear. You gripped his bicep, wishing he could just take you then and there.

Finally, the door was opened. You walked inside together, Spencer's mouth still latched to your neck. He turned you around, leaning you against the door, causing it to slam shut. You ran your hands through his hair, tugging on the roots. He moaned against your skin, and you felt it in your core. As much as you wanted Spencer to kiss every inch of you, which you knew he would, you needed him.

“Spencer,” you moaned, grabbing at his shoulders. He nodded, understanding what you wanted. He pulled away, but only slightly.

“I got you,” he huskily whispered into your ear. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and nodded. He brought his mouth back to your lips, and walked you into the bedroom, guiding you along the way.

He backed you up into the bed and followed your lips down as you laid back. Coming up for air, he raked his eyes over your disheveled hair and blouse and thought you had never looked more beautiful.

“I’m ready for my dessert,” he pleaded. You smiled and nodded, bringing his hands to your breasts. Spencer smiled and began massaging your tits through your blouse. You leaned your head back, desperate for more. Spencer knew that, so he began unbuttoning your shirt, thankful that his hands were no longer shaking. He sucked on your now exposed skin, leaving marks down your chest as he went. He helped you shrug your shirt off, and his breath caught in his throat.

“Fuck (Y/n).” He traced his fingers along the delicate red lace that covered your nipples, his light touch igniting a fire within you. “Been thinking about this all day.” He brought his mouth back down, running his tongue over your clothed nipples.

“Shit Spence,” you moaned, “need more. Need you.” You felt his smirk on your skin, and then he was unclasping the back, exposing your breasts to him. He took one into his mouth, swirling his tongue around your nipple, while his hand came up to your other one, switching between flicking and massaging.

He switched positions, making sure to pay the other one equal love. Your moans filled the room, as you rubbed your thighs together, desperate for some relief. You wrapped your legs around Spencer’s waist, begging him to come closer.

“Is my dessert nice and wet for me?” His mouth kissed down your stomach, his fingers trailing behind.

“Yes,” you whimpered. His fingers gripped your waist, holding you in place as he kissed along the waistband of your panties. He placed a kiss on your clothed clit and you bucked your hips up, wanting more. He ran his finger over your partly covered pussy moaning at how wet it was. “Is this what was bothering you earlier?” he asked, rubbing the soaked lace against you even more.

“Yes,” you panted, shaking your head.

“You want me to help? Want me to take them off, baby?” he asked, his cheek leaning against your thigh as he pressed gentle kisses to your inner thigh.

“Please,” you nodded. He slipped his fingers under your panties, pulling them down at an antagonizing slow pace. When they were finally off, you clenched, loving the feeling of the cool air and his hot breath mixing on your sensitive skin.

“Baby you are so pretty,” he praised. He ran his fingers through your folds, collecting your arousal on his fingers. He put his fingers in his mouth, moaning around them as he cleaned them off. “You taste so good, baby. All for me.”

“Please, Spence.” You bucked into the air, craving his mouth on you. He happily obliged, licking a stripe up your folds and sucking on your clit. You writhed beneath him, grasping at the bedsheets. He ran his tongue around your clit, the vibrations from his groans only adding to your pleasure. He brought his fingers back to your center, slipping one inside of you, and pumping it in and out slowly.

“Faster... Unghh- please. Need more.” Spencer sped up his finger, adding a second. He curled them, hitting your spot perfectly. You screamed out in pleasure, only causing him to go harder. He continued his thrusts, grazing his teeth over your clit in the process.

“Fuck, Spence. Don’t- don’t stop… yeah, just like that.” You grabbed onto his hair, pushing him further into you. Feeling the knot build, you wrapped your legs around his head, grinding onto his face. With a final graze of your clit, you were coming, and Spencer worked you through it, lapping up your release on his mouth, not wanting to waste a drop of his dessert.

When you came down, Spencer removed his fingers from your center, causing you to groan from the sensitivity. He came and sat next to you on the bed, bringing his fingers to his lips once again. You watched him above you, and you swore it was the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. His lips were shiny with your release, and they looked so pretty, all plump and wet, and you wanted them on you. Reaching for him, you brought his lips to yours and tasted yourself on him. His tongue explored your mouth, coating every inch in yourself.

Without breaking the kiss, Spencer helped you sit up and placed you in his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling at the hair at the nape of his neck.

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” you complained, pulling at the collar of his shirt. Spencer nodded and you began unbuttoning his shirt. Yearning to occupy his mouth, while he waited for you to finish, Spencer brought your tit into his mouth, sucking on the soft skin. You felt your arousal come flooding back, and you ground your hips into his lap.

Pushing off his shirt, you placed a string of kisses along Spencer’s collar bone, making your way back up his neck and stopping when you reached his forehead. Spencer then brought your other breast into his mouth and you flung your head back, pulling him further into you, burying his head in your chest. You felt his fingers run along your back, tracing every curve of your body. You shifted on top of him, placing your drenched pussy on top of his clothed crotch. The feeling of his dress pants on your exposed clit felt amazing and you couldn’t help but grind down hard on him, chasing your impending release.

Noticing you were close based on your shallow breaths, Spencer brought his hands to your waist, pushing you against him, helping you finish. With a few more thrusts, you were coming undone on top of him, soaking his pants in the process.

“That was so hot baby,” Spencer groaned, kissing your neck. Your head rested on his shoulder and you smiled, trying to regain your strength.

“You feel so good,” you praised, “but, I need you. Need your pants off,” you panted. Spencer obliged peppering your face with kisses as he unbuckled his pants and slid them off with his boxers. You sat up, allowing him to shimmy out of them. His cock sprang free, resting against his stomach. You groaned, loving the way he would always get so hard because of you.

You began to bend down, wanting to take him in your mouth, but before you could, his arms were around you pulling you back up. You gave him a confused look, but he gave you a sheepish smile and shook his head.

“I won’t last if you do that,” he admitted. You smiled, giving him an understanding nod.

“Can I ride you then?” you asked, looking up at him with wide, lust-filled eyes.

“Please,” he smiled, shifting back against the headboard. You followed him, taking your place in his lap again. He grabbed onto your waist, guiding you up and onto his dick. You ran your wet folds over his tip, watching as he moaned, leaning his head back. Desperate to have him inside you, you sank down, loving the feeling of him filling you up.

Spencer watched as his dick disappeared inside. “So pretty baby.” He kissed your shoulder, waiting for you to move. You began circling your hips, both of your moans filling the room. Once you were ready, you lifted your hips setting a steady pace, bouncing up and down on him.

“Feels so good Spence,” you groaned, resting your hands on his shoulders for support. His head was buried into your shoulder, completely lost in the feeling of you around him. You leaned back a bit, getting a better angle, and felt him go deeper than ever. Screams left your lips, and Spencer took the opportunity to tighten his grip on your hips and began thrusting up into you. The added force only increased your pleasure and you closed your eyes, completely lost in the bliss that was Spencer Reid.

He watched as he pounded into you, loving the way your tits bounced and your mouth was open in pleasure because of him. He brought you closer to him, wanting to feel your skin against his, and the new angle made it so he was hitting your spot every time. You clenched around him, feeling your orgasm growing.

“Shit (Y/n),” he groaned, “do that again.” You smiled, clenching around him again, wanting him to feel as good as he was making you feel. “Fuck- I’m close.”

“Me too.” Spencer brought his hand down and rubbed your clit. “Yes, yes, don’t stop Spence- ughh… don’t stop.” He would never stop, he loved you too much to ever stop. He would do this for the rest of his life. He would never stop.

With another thrust, Spencer felt you clenching around him and felt your thighs shake. He continued to rub your clit helping you down from your high as he chased his own. All it took was a few more thrusts and you moaning his name in his ear, and he was coming. You felt hot ropes of his come inside of you and you moaned, loving the feeling of your juices mixing together.

Spencer’s arms wrapped around your back and you snuggled into his neck, not daring to leave your position on his lap.

Spencer grabbed the blankets, pulling them around your still connected bodies. You snuggled into him, relishing in the feeling of him inside you and keeping you full.

“Thank you,” Spencer said, kissing your lips. “I love you so much,” he mumbled into your mouth.

“I love you too.” You rested your head on his forehead, the two of you lost in each other's eyes. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Spencer.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, (Y/n).” He pressed a gentle peck to your lips before snuggling into you. “You’re going to have to wear that more often,” he murmured while succumbing to sleep.

“That can be arranged,” you smiled, closing your eyes. Spencer grinned, falling asleep in your arms, because he knew you loved him and he loved you, and it was all for him.

tag list: @muffin-cup @drreidsboyband @boxofsparklingmuses @deetle625 @vladsgirlxx @you-sunshine

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invisibleanonymousmonsters · 3 years

Text

Absentee

Character: Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Summary: When Y/N fell in love with Jason Todd, she didn’t realize the normalcy she lost would become such a problem in their relationship. And she didn’t know how much pain it would cause to hide her boyfriend’s secrets.

Word Count: 4,600 – One Shot

A/N: This is probably a really personal story. And you all might hate it or not relate to it. But oh well...

Y/N had her music playing in her headphones just quietly enough so she could hear them announce when her plane was boarding.

Between corporate holidays and what was left of her vacation days for the year, she was able to go home for a week and a half.

Only, she was hoping that this year she wouldn’t be going home alone.

But when Jason got sucked into a case two weeks before their flight back to her hometown, she knew there was no way he’d be accompanying her.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I just–“ Jason had tried to tell her when she realized they weren’t going to be spending the holidays together.

“You don’t have to apologize. There are more important things right now than meeting my crazy family,” Y/N laughed lightly. “But they’ll be bummed.”

Jason still looked so down guiltily. He knew that Y/N had been downplaying how excited she was for her family to meet him.

Yeah, Y/N was upset, but her family was even more upset. Being in a different part of the country and them never putting in the effort to visit her, they had yet to meet Jason. Even when the two of them had been dating for 10 months.

Y/N had met all of Jason’s brothers, along with Bruce and Alfred. It had all been against his will, his family strategically running into them or invading his apartment when they knew Y/N would be there. Jason acted annoyed by it, but Y/N knew he was happy for her to meet them and without him having to act like he cared.

But Jason had only ever waved on FaceTime to her family or sometimes answered calls from them when Y/N left her phone next to him and went to another room.

It wasn’t like Y/N needed her family’s approval. She knew what she wanted and what was best for her. Their opinions didn’t hold as much weight with her as they thought.

But Y/N also had never introduced her family to a boyfriend before. Things either fizzled out before then or the relationship was so casual that the thought of even mentioning a boy-toy’s name in passing to her family made her want to jump out a window.

———

“So Jason couldn’t get out of work last minute?” Y/N’s older sister, Kate, asked as they drove to her house after picking her up from arrivals.

And so it began.

“No,” Y/N answered. “His boss is sort of an asshole. He’s a workaholic and can’t fathom why anyone else would ever be anything different.”

The truth was that Jason didn’t really have a job. When it came to income, Jason was resourceful. He was still a hitman for hire. But once the killing part of that job stopped – which was long before Y/N ever met him – it didn’t rake in as much money. Most of his money was either stolen from criminals or he would work odd jobs here and there.

However, the lie Jason and Y/N had agreed on was that he was a mechanic. And Jason did know absolutely everything there was to know about cars and motorcycles. He’d even promised Y/N that if she ever decided she wanted him to drop the vigilante life, he would do just that and start his own mechanic shop. But Y/N knew better than to ever ask that of him.

“Cars don’t stop breaking – even around the holidays,” Y/N joked darkly.

“Mhmm,” her sister answered.

Y/N already knew what her family thought of her boyfriend’s “job”: it wasn’t good enough for them.

The only reason they let it slide was because they knew Bruce Wayne was his adoptive father. Therefore they interpreted Jason’s ‘lack of ambition’ as his personal rebellion against his privilege and upbringing.

“Mom said he sent flowers and a bottle of wine to the house today and apologized for not being able to make it,” Kate added.

Y/N quickly looked at her in surprise.

“So I’m guessing from your reaction that it wasn’t your idea,” Kate teased.

“No,” Y/N shook her head. “He didn’t even tell me he did that.”

That was a Bruce Wayne move for sure. It didn’t matter that Jason had a rocky relationship with him, the Wayne charm and manners were deceivingly contagious.

————

Later that night, when everyone was in bed and Y/N decided to finally unpack. And she was surprised to find two of Jason’s t-shirts hidden in her bag. They were her favorites of his, always stealing them. Mostly she wore them to lounge around the apartment or to wear to bed. But her favoritism was in no way hidden.

Jason must’ve snuck them in her bag while she wasn’t looking.

Y/N smiled as she grabbed one of the shirts and raised it to her nose. It still smelled like him.

It was enough to make her feel guilty for not having called him yet. She’d texted him that she landed, but other than that, she’d been pretty silent.

She grabbed her cell and dialed.

“Hey, you.”

He always answered her calls as if they made his day, even if she’d called him multiple times that day already. His reaction to her calls never failed to make Y/N smile.

“I didn’t really expect you to pick up,” Y/N admitted.

“Always got time for you,” he answered lightly.

But then she heard background noise: wind blowing, distant sirens, people shouting at each other nearby.

Jason was on patrol. Or maybe he was doing some recon.

But Y/N knew not to ask.

“I see some of your clothes made the trip,” Y/N commented through a smile. Jason could hear the smile in her voice. “Those t-shirts have a mind of their own…”

“And my mom thought the flowers and card were sweet,” she added.

“I might not have met her yet, but I know that’s not gonna be enough to win her over,” Jason answered darkly.

Y/N didn’t say anything, because they both knew he was right.

“Flight was fine?” Jason asked, changing the subject.

“Mhmm.”

“I miss you.”

Y/N shook her head and laughed. “No, you don’t. I’ve been gone for like 12 hours.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

She rolled her eyes. “Always the romantic.”

More sirens could be heard. They sounded closer this time. “Are you being careful?” All playfulness had disappeared from her voice.

“Of course.”

Y/N sighed. “Jason, I’m serious. Please, be safe.”

“I know. I know. Don’t worry about me.”

“You know that’s not gonna happen, J.”

He ignored her comment. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

————————

To say Y/N’s time at home was rough…was an understatement.

If Y/N wasn’t being asked a million questions about Jason, she was being interrogated for why he wasn’t there. And if Jason wasn’t the subject of the conversation, people acted like she was single – some even talking about setting her up.

Y/N realized she preferred the former.

Every year, her family threw a giant party.

And for the past five years, Y/N had always been the only one that was single. All of her siblings, all of her cousins, all of their family friends, all of their neighbors…every single one of them had a significant other during those years.

Everyone...except her. Now, this year, all of them had kids or were expecting.

It was exhausting.

Sometimes Y/N felt like they were all robots programmed to do the exact same things at the exact same time – no original thought to be had.

Y/N would be lying if she didn’t spend most of the party wishing Jason was at her side. He would make fun of awkward situations with her. And he would stick up for her when her family teased her a little too much.

The other thing Y/N wasn’t prepared for was unintentionally studying her family’s boyfriends or husbands. She felt like she was watching everyone’s relationships through a different lens now that she herself had her own. And to put it as kindly as possible…she was not impressed.

Y/N noticed how none of the men offered to help in the kitchen, instead deciding to sit on the couch and watch football and scream at the television. Or how when her cousin handed her son to her husband, and he acted like he didn’t even know how to hold the one year old. And later, when his diaper needed to be changed, he handed him back to his wife as if he had no idea how to do it himself.

Yet her family was stuck on Jason not being able to visit or that he was a mechanic.

What did someone’s job matter if they treated her like she was their world and he the best thing to ever happen to her?

If Jason were here, he would be in the kitchen cooking. And if they had a kid, it would be a 50/50 job – not a burden only Y/N had to bare. He would try to get to know everyone because he would want to know the people who raised the woman he loved. He’d make sure to check in on Y/N every once in awhile, making sure she didn’t need anything.

Thinking about it all made Y/N miss Jason even more.

Needing to get some air, she decided to go outside and let the winter chill refresh her. It had been getting too hot in the house.

Y/N pulled her phone out of her back pocket and tapped Jason’s name.

“Hey, you.”

“Hi,” she sighed.

Just hearing his voice made her feel a bit better and tension left her body.

“What’s wrong?” Jason quickly asked.

“Nothing. Just…wanted to check in.”

For a second, she was going to explain that she had the sudden realization that all the men connected to her family were trash. And witnessing it was making her miss him more. But she didn’t really want to waste her breath and she figured she’d just come off dramatic more than sincere.

“Are you at your apartment?” She asked quickly.

“Yeah, I’m gonna leave for patrol in a bit…”

Then Y/N’s mind suddenly thought, ‘Fuck it.’

“Jason?”

“Yeah, kid?”

“If you were here…” She began softly.

“Mhmm,” he encouraged.

“What would you be doing?”

Jason was a bit confused by the question for a second. But he slowly got what she was asking.

“Well,” he took in a shallow breath. “I would’ve stolen Alfred’s famous chocolate chip cookie recipe and whipped up those bad boys to bring over. And I’d pretend to care about football with your dad.”

That made Y/N laugh.

“I’d help your mom in the kitchen, even when she pretended not to want it.”

“Really laying it on thick, huh?”

But Y/N knew he was right. Jason was the cook between the two of them – and a good one, too. He also was a helper. He couldn’t sit back and watch someone do something while he did nothing. No matter how big or small.

“Shhh,” Jason reprimanded and then continued. “But most importantly, I’d try to get as many embarrassing stories about you as I possibly could.”

“Well, thank goodness you’re not here then,” she teased with a roll of her eyes.

Jason was quiet a second before he asked, “Wanna tell me what’s wrong now?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Just miss you.”

“I miss you, too.”

“All my family’s boyfriends and husbands are losers. And I guess I’m just now realizing it.”

“Ahh,” Jason noted.

Now he really knew why she’d asked her question.

“It’s snowing here,” he told her as he looked out the window. “It’s almost making Gotham look pretty.”

“Are you going to the manor for Christmas?”

“Probably not,” Jason answered.

“Jason,” she grumbled. “What are you going to do instead? Sit in your apartment alone?”

“I’m gonna patrol. Crime doesn’t take holidays, Y/N.”

“Cheesy,” she pointed out. “Please be with your family, Jason. I don’t want you to be alone. OK?”

“I’ll think about it.”

Y/N knew that was as good as it was going to get.

Then she felt something on her cheek and she looked up. “Hey, it just started snowing here, too…” She told him with her head tilted back.

“I love you,” he sighed.

“I love you, too. Be careful tonight, Jason.”

Y/N gave herself a few more moments outside before returning to the party.

When she walked back inside, she immediately heard her name. But no one was calling to her.

She was being talked about.

She recognized her mom and sister’s voices, and then a couple of her aunts. They were talking around the corner, completely unaware that Y/N was in hearing distance.

So Y/N couldn’t help but linger.

“She says he works a lot. Every time I facetime her, he’s never there,” her sister Kate told the women. “I wouldn’t even really know what he looked like if it weren’t for her photos that she’s sent me. He doesn’t have any social media.”

“I just can’t believe he couldn’t get work off. Around the holidays?” Her mom added in utter disbelief. “Sounds like it won’t be surprising when she finds out he’s been unfaithful,” one her aunts commented.

The group hummed in agreement, but also disappointment.

“He doesn’t even live in Metropolis. He lives in Gotham,” her mother supplied, only further backing the idea that Jason wasn’t committed. “God knows why. But I hate that Y/N is constantly going there. No good news comes from that city.”

Y/N clenched her teeth in anger.

If only they knew the truth about Jason.

He was a hero and risked his life every night for an entire city – a city that had done nothing but hurt him. And he was 20 times the man than any of the men in their family.

She just wanted to scream at them for being so judgmental about a person they’d never even met.

But she couldn’t.

So Y/N stormed up to her childhood bedroom and decided she had enough of the party.

She shouldn’t have come home for the holidays. She would’ve rather waited for Jason to get back from his Red Hood work than listen to her family misjudge the first man she ever truly loved and wanted to share with them.

————————

Y/N was so tired when she got off the plane.

She felt like a zombie as she walked to baggage claim to grab her duffle.

What she wasn’t expecting was to find her boyfriend waiting for her in arrivals.

Y/N had told him she would just get a car.

But Jason seemed to have other ideas.

Y/N’s entire face brightened at the sight of him.

She practically ran to him and jumped into his arms.

Jason chuckled at her enthusiasm.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, her words muffled by his body.

“I thought I’d surprise you,” Jason said through a smile before he kissed her head.

Y/N didn’t respond, just held him tightly.

“Come on. Let’s get your bag and head home,” he finally told her.

—

“So, how was it?” Jason asked once they got into his car. Y/N shrugged, “It was fine.”

Her lack of details and curt response was enough warning for Jason to realize things were not totally fine between them.

He didn’t bother asking for more details during the car ride home. Instead, he answered all her questions about what he had been up to, how the case was going, if his family was alright.

Once they got back to Y/N’s apartment in Metropolis, the grace period seemed to be over.

Y/N had grown quiet as she moved around her apartment, unpacking and putting all her things away.

Jason walked into her bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed as she folded clean clothes. “This might be a shot in the dark. But I can’t help but feel that you’re not happy with me,” he finally pointed out.

She didn’t answer or look at him, just kept folding.

“Did something happen while you were at home?” Jason pushed.

She still didn’t answer. So Jason reached for her hands, holding them gently.

“Hey, talk to me. What’s going on?”

“I just didn’t expect how hard it was going to be…” she finally whispered with a bowed head.

“What would be?”

“Just going home without you,” she explained.

“Did something happening?”

“I mean, kinda? Not really. They just…” she hesitated. Did she really want to confess all of this to him? She knew it would only hurt him. "They think you’re a bad boyfriend.”

Jason just nodded slowly.

He should’ve seen this coming. Of course her family didn’t think he was good enough. How could they think anything different?

“I’m just…fucking frustrated,” Y/n groaned. “I knew what I was getting into when you told me about your other life and who you really were. I was willing to keep your secret and protect it. I just never thought about how hard it would be keeping it from my family.”

She shook her head. “They think you’re not committed or something. And that…that you’re probably cheating on me.”

The idea of him ever doing that her made Jason sick to his stomach.

“I’m sorry,” Jason mumbled.

“What?” Y/N gasped. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“But I have,” he argued. “I put you in this position.”

“No, I did. I did when I fell in love with you,” she clarified.

“But I don’t want you lying to the people you love.”

“I’m not telling you this because I’m mad at you or blame you, Jason. I’m trying to tell you why I’m frustrated.”

She rubbed her face. “I just want them to know what an amazing person you are...and how brave and selfless. How you take care of me and love me and…and protect me.” Her eyes began to water. “They’re never gonna know the real you…even when they do meet you. And I fucking hate it.”

“So what if you told them?” Jason offered.

Her eyes widened at that. “Jason…”

“I’m serious. What if you told them?”

She thought about it. But she already knew the answer.

“It wouldn’t do any good. If I told them, then they’d be worried about me. Worried that your other life was putting me in danger. Worried that I would get pulled into it.”

Jason knew she was right.

Her family probably preferred an absentee boyfriend over a vigilante.

“But I see how the shitty men that have joined my family are. And you’re nothing like them. You’re so much better. And they’ll never even know.”

“Come here,” Jason muttered before he pulled her to him.

He let her body sink into his as he held her.

“I’ll do anything you want,” he whispered as he rubbed her back. “I just want you to be happy.”

“I always wondered what it would be like to finally been in a relationship – to just have someone on my team no matter what. I went to all those family gatherings thinking I’d never have it. And once I did, once I found you…” Her thoughts died out. “I just never expected it to be this way.”

“Do you regret it?” Jason asked as he pulled away to look in her eyes.

Her brow furrowed. “Regret what?”

“Being with me. Falling in love with me.”

Her heart broke at the question. “Oh, Jason. Of course not. Never.”

“What if I stopped?” He asked.

“No. I would never ask that of you,” she quickly shot down.

“I’d do it for you,” he tried to argue.

“I know you would. But I’m not asking. Because I know what it would do to you. Every time you’d see something in the news, you’d hate yourself. Because you would convince yourself that you could’ve stopped it. And maybe you would be right.” She took in a deep breath. “Red Hood isn’t just something you do. He’s a part of you. And even though I worry about you constantly, I’m never gonna tell you to stop.”

Jason took his time in reading her face.

“OK?” She pushed.

He nodded.

Then he embraced her once again.

“I’m sorry you have to keep my secrets,” he breathed into her hair.

————————————

Y/N walked into Jason’s apartment.

It was a Friday night and they agreed to have her come to his place this weekend.

Jason was always weary of her coming to Gotham, preferring her to stay in the safety of Metropolis.

He knew they couldn’t do the distance forever, and eventually they’d move into together. But he wasn’t ready to leave Gotham yet. And he didn’t want Y/N to lowering herself to such a city.

“J!” Y/N called when she walked in.

He had given her keys to his apartment quite early in their relationship, and told her she was welcome at his place any time. However, he wasn’t a fan of her getting there after dark. Gotham was Gotham, and he didn’t like her wandering around the city by herself just in order to give him a surprise visit.

An envelope on Jason’s kitchen counter caught her attention.

She nosily looked at it and saw that they were plane tickets to her hometown with both of their names on each of them.

She heard Jason walk up behind her. “What’s this?”

“A surprise,” he shrugged.

“What do you mean?” She laughed.

“We’re gonna visit your family,” he explained casually. “I called your mom and sister to find a weekend that worked.”

Y/N was shocked to silence.

“I know I fucked up when I couldn’t go with you during the holidays. I know this isn’t gonna solve everything. But I figured…it’s start.” Before he could say more, Y/N threw her arms around him.

————

Jason Todd knew how to throw on the charm. And no matter how thick he laid it on, it always felt sincere.

Y/N smiled as she watched her boyfriend interacting with her family.

He knew so much about each of them already, that he knew exactly what to talk about with every one of them.

For their long-weekend visit, they had decided to stay with her sister.

Jason knew she would be the hardest to win over and was the most protective over Y/N. He made it his personal mission to befriend her and show her how much he loved her little sister.

Y/N never said so, but Jason knew how important it was to her that Kate approved of him.

However, Jason hadn’t been able to have a conversation alone with her all weekend.

Until their last morning there.

Y/N was still sleeping when Jason had made his way to the kitchen.

He figured he could make Kate and her husband breakfast after housing them for a long weekend. And he made sure to start a pot of coffee while he was at it.

Halfway through making his specialty waffles, Kate walked into the kitchen rubbing her eyes.

“Oh, hi,” she greeted, clearly surprised to find Jason cooking in her kitchen.

“Morning,” Jason greeted.

“This is a surprise,” she said as she looked around the kitchen.

“There’s coffee if you want some.”

“T-Thanks…” she managed to mutter. “Do you need some help?”

“Nope. I got it. You just relax.”

Kate seemed to be unsure of how to behave when she was alone with her little sister’s boyfriend, and eventually sat on the kitchen stool with her coffee.

“Do you cook a lot?” She finally broke the silence with her question.

“I enjoy it,” he answered with a shrug. “I figured it’s the least I can do for you guys putting us up.”

“That’s very sweet of you, Jason.”

He continued cooking.

Kate figured this was her opportunity to get to know Jason – and not just through Y/N’s eyes. So, she started asking him question after question, and he seemed happy to answer them. Kate was surprised to find out about Jason’s traumatic childhood, making him realize that Y/N must’ve only shared his relation to Bruce Wayne and nothing more about his life before becoming an adopted Wayne.

Jason wasn’t surprised Y/N kept that part of his life to herself. She was protective of him that way. She always felt like his past was his story to tell, not hers.

“I know missing the holidays didn’t leave the best impression,” Jason told her after they’d been talking for awhile.

“You really mean a lot to Y/N. And your opinion matters more to her than you might think,” he added as he crossed his arms.

Kate seemed a little taken aback by how unafraid he was of confrontation.

He seemed more mature for his age – maybe for hers, even.

“I know I’m not going to win any of you over from just a single trip,” Jason continued. “But I’m going to work my ass off to make sure I get there.”

Kate smiled at that.

“I love her,” he told her quietly, but with determination. “She’s…Well, she’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Then he smirked. “And I’m not dumb enough to do anything to fuck things up with her.”

He took in a shallow breath. “I just…I just needed you to know that.”

Kate’s heart swelled from hearing her little sister’s boyfriend confessing his love for Y/N.

“Thank you for telling me that,” she whispered, trying to stop herself from crying. “I worry about her. And I hate that she’s so far away sometimes. I miss her.”

“She misses you, too,” Jason assured her.

“Thank you for taking care of her. I’m suddenly realizing you’re the only reason she’s eating anything that’s not out of a takeout container.”

Jason laughed. “I plead the fifth.”

Before any more could be said, Y/N walked into the kitchen as if she was sleep walking.

“Well, look who it is…” Jason teased.

Y/N walked to him silently, clearly wanting cuddles.

Jason chuckled at her, but gave her what she wanted. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. He had kept the PDA at an absolute minimum while he had been around Y/N’s family. But he couldn’t help it when Y/N was her sleepy and adorable self.

“You sleep OK?” He tried to whisper to her.

But Kate still heard it and pretended to look down at her phone.

Y/N nodded into his neck, making him chuckle at her more.

This was new for Kate, seeing her sister being loved and loving someone. Her instinct was to say it made her uncomfortable. But it was just something she wasn’t used to.

Soon Kate’s husband woke up and they all ate breakfast together.

And a few hours later, Y/N and Jason were packed and their was a Lyft was waiting outside to take them to the airport.

Jason hugged Kate and her husband and thanked them for hosting them. Then he grabbed Y/N’s bags and gave her a moment alone with her sister as he took their stuff to the car.

“I think I owe the two of you an apology…” Kate told her little sister.

“You do?”

“I think I judged him a bit too much before really giving him a chance.”

Y/N winced, but nodded. “Yeah, you did, actually.”

“He really loves you.”

Y/N smiled. “He does.”

“I just want you to be happy, you know that right?”

“I know. But sometimes you think that what makes you happy is what would make me happy. Our lives are different. And we want different things. Just because my relationship looks different than yours doesn’t mean it’s worse in some way.”

Kate nodded sadly, knowing her sister was right. “I get that now.”

-----------

A/N: I was inspired to write this when I thought about how my own family would react to me having a boyfriend like Jason Todd: a man who was secretly a vigilante and had a past too hard for anyone to ever imagine. Hopefully, other people can relate to this and it wasn’t too personal. 😬

Let me know what you thought!!!

#jason todd x reader #jason todd reader insert #red hood x reader #red hood reader insert #batfam #batboys #jason todd angst #jason todd fluff #jason todd fic #jason todd one shot #batman universe #jason todd #red hood #batman fandom #dc universe

833 notes · View notes

mrs-march-ahs · 3 years

Text

Fashion Show for Kai

🎶I hit 600 and I’m at my peak Let’s all get excited for my Kai Week🎶 sorry that there’s so much author’s note today

Summary- Kai is sick of you loitering and bothering him, so he gives you a one time offer to go shopping and buy anything you want. The type of clothing you chose makes him realise giving you his credit card was a good choice, for both of you.

Warnings- Soft Daddy! Kai, knife & blood kink, nerd alert (Words- 2.5k) (Tag list- @tatestripedsweater)

Requests- “ Can u do a kai x fem!reader smut where kai is actually a soft daddy?? I know it sounds kinda impossible for kai but it really makes me feel nice to imagine him as a soft daddy so yeah. And reader's not a virgin but it's her first time with kai. Maybe like after a cult meeting.” Yes miss girl <3

“#52 & a lil bit of knife play with divine ruler?😇 you’re so talented ily <3 - @daddyevanpeters” I didn’t use the number prompt which I hope is okay, I think you’ll like this<3 no i love you

“CONGRATULATIONS ON 300 FOLLOWERS!!!! You are so inspiring and talented. I just joined the fandom recently, and you have been such an amazing person to look up to! I heard that you were taking requests, sooooooo do you think you could do a head cannon for James, Kai, or the Evans (if you want) on how the would react to seeing reader in lingerie for the first time!! THANK YOU!” I hope you’re still here! This request is clearly from a while ago, but this was the perfect opportunity! I love it, thank you you’re sooo sweet<3

you’ll need this picture for later, enjoy ;)

----

You slowly walk downstairs, and try to take a quick glance to see whether Kai’s cult meeting is coming to an end. Although you were almost always welcome, when it came to an upcoming murder, for some reason, Kai didn’t want you involved. And to keep you as safe and indifferent as possible, he didn’t tell you anything about it. But now that you were having a few days off work, you found yourself wandering around the house aimlessly, wanting to be with Kai even more than usual. You were usually welcome at the meetings, and it felt unnatural to you to have to avoid them. When you peaked your head around the corner of the bookshelf, Kai instantly notices you and hedges in his sentence, looking to the floor and sighing. He rubs his eyes before looking back up at you.

“I thought I was clear, can’t you keep yourself busy?”, he snaps at you. You walk over a little closer to him and sigh in exasperation.

“Can’t I just sit with you? I won’t even listen I swear-”, you don’t bother saying anything else when Kai stands up and burns you with his eyes.

“Go away”. You sulk at his words but continue to stand there, your eyes flicking around the floor, searching for something else to say and as you open your mouth to beg to stay yet again, another loud sigh interrupts you. He shakes his head and reaches into his pocket, before taking out his wallet and then credit card. He holds it in front of you and speaks with his regular authoritative tone of voice. He had to make sure that everybody at the meeting knew that he was completely in charge of you.

“Here. Don’t go crazy, but go somewhere and keep yourself busy”. You hesitantly take his credit card from his hand and nod at him, but when you pick your arms up to give him a grateful hug, he pushes them back down to deny it and snaps at you once last time.

“Do not come back here until I’m done with my meeting”

You nod and promptly leave, knowing that Kai doesn’t expect an answer, and just expects you to understand and follow every order he gives you. You quickly get dressed and leave the house, knowing Kai will get more mad if you sit around and don’t take advantage of what he gave you. Though he never particularly showered you with money, he always made sure he spoiled you some way or another so you would stay close to him.

You cautiously but happily spend Kai’s money, unsure how much you have or how much he is willing for you to spend, but in order to make sure that he wont regret giving you this gift, you decide to treat him too.

Within a little more than an hour, the very complicated plan of murder is clear to everybody in the cult and the meeting comes to an end. At that very second when most people begin to scatter, your phone in your pocket dings loudly, making sure you hear it. You’re in huge trouble if you don’t reply to Kai’s messages and calls, so to avoid having your phone taken away you never put it on silent or vibrate, and immediately read his messages. He asks when you’re planning to return home, and even though you were on your way for a coffee, mostly done with shopping, you don’t want to make him wait for you. Your thumbs dance around the keypad as you plan a message when your phone buzzes in your hand with another message from Kai.

‘Come home now’

Although his anger and fierce dominance strikes fear in others, and sometimes in you too, you go home with an innocent smirk on your face, already excited for angry Kai.

When you walk through the door Kai shuts it instantly after you, making you flinch, not having noticed him behind it. You attempt to hide your bags behind your back, but to no avail.

“I got a scam alert”, he says calmly, turning the key in the door to lock it.

“Uncharacteristic purchase from Victoria’s Secret”, he says quietly. Kai inches closer to you and puts his hands on your waist with a tight possessive grip, before looking over your shoulder at the bags behind your back. Most of them pink, one of them black. He exhales deeply in satisfaction at the sight of tissue paper, already excited for the show you’re going to put on for him.

Without a single word, he goes upstairs, and you follow him like a little lost puppy following its owner. He walks into a bedroom and sits on the end of the bed, facing the door. As you walk in behind him, he leans back on his arms and looks you up and down, examining your fully dressed body. When his eyes once again reach yours, he shakes his head to the side once, and you quickly nod.

“Yes, Divine Ruler, I’ll be right back”. You leave the room and go to the bathroom and weigh your options on which lingerie to show him first, but wanting to look as innocent as possible for him, you quickly rip your clothes off and jump into the shower for a minute, gently caressing your skin with body wash before dressing up for him.

As soon as Kai hears the water running, he sighs, and starts to look around the room, needy and already thinking of ways to punish you for wasting his time.

But soon enough, you gently step towards the bedroom Kai’s in and open the door, making Kai sit up when he hears the creak. You stand before him in your baby pink lacy underwear and bra and slowly walk over to him, making your steps as light as possible.

“I showered and oiled up for you, Divine Ruler”, you say seductively making Kai moan breathily at the sight of you glistening. When you get close enough, he puts his hands on your waist and slides them down to your thighs, one of his favorite places on your body, before putting his face to them. He runs his lips along your thighs and moans at how soft you feel under him. The soft sounds coming out of him turn you on immensely, and how his rough and dry lips slide along your thighs makes them tingle.

Kai’s hands rubbing over your ass makes your mind wander to the filthiest thoughts you have, ones you’d only share if Kai made you. A recent scenario that often came to your mind in the shower was one from a week ago, where Kai bent you over his desk as per usual, but instead of fucking you right away, he spread your cheeks and used his heavenly mouth on you, something he doesn’t do often. His hands on your thighs brought back every memory you have of him between them, making you cum over and over again until you grip his hair in the excitement, which always results in him putting you in handcuffs. Unexpectedly, Kai bites your thigh, making you gasp and break out of your trance of dirty thoughts.

“You’ve picked the perfect day to be sensitive, my love”. Kai’s new nickname for you instantly heals the temporary pain caused by his teeth, and you look at him, completely smitten and in love.

He stands up and kisses your lips once, very softly, before turning the two of you around and pushing you on the bed. But today, he does so gently, and you fall onto the mattress and feel the soft covers hug your skin and make you feel a way you never feel. Loved. It was obvious that Kai loved you, and even though he never said it, he showed it by prioritizing you over any other member of the cult, and trying to protect you from certain cruel things the world has to offer. He knew you were the strongest and most dedicated member and he always felt the devotion you gave him when you volunteered to do things for him that the other pussies were scared to do. Your heartless dedication to commit murder and crimes for him was what made gentle and innocent moments like this so special to him. Your naivety and trust for him made him hard.

He straddles you and looks at you beneath him. His eyes were as dark and lustful as always, so you put your hands up to the bed frame, all ready to be tied to up at his mercy. He smiles at your obedient actions ever so lovingly, before cupping your cheek and leaning down to you.

“Not today, little lamb”. You slowly put your hands back down confused by his words, almost worried by him not being as dominant as always, but all worries melt away when he kisses you once again, not forcing his tongue in and not making you feel like you must please him. Instead, kissing you so passionately that you are left breathless and occasionally forget to kiss back, enjoying your master taking care of you and kissing your gentle lips. He moves his attention to your neck, sucking on it gently leaving the tiniest bruises that will fade away within hours.

“Do you trust me?”, he whispers against your skin, giving you goosebumps.

“Of course, Divine Ruler”. Your instant response makes Kai smile against your neck and sit back up on you. He reaches into his pocket, and slowly takes out his pocketknife, flicking it open.

“I’m not going to tie you down, Y/N, so you need to stay still, you understand?”, he asks deeply. You look at the blade in his hand with pleading eyes and gulp at the idea of him hurting you.

“You want to… cut me?”. You ask, trying to sound as sure of yourself as possible. Divine Ruler hates weak girls.

“Of course not, I won’t cut you. If you don’t move”, he says as if it’s all so obvious. No matter how unsure you were about this, his confidence made you rely on him even more and you nod your head, willing to do whatever it is he wanted from you. His warm smile at your willingness to take whatever he does to you melts your heart and you take a deep breath before relaxing your body completely. You close your eyes and Kai shuffles down to sit over your legs, looking at your boobs and thighs in the gorgeous underwear you wore for him. Just for him.

He lays his blade against your boob, and slides it down your chest, making you open your eyes nervously but stay completely still. He hums as he slides it down your stomach, before getting to your panties and unexpectedly puts the blade under them.

“I like these”, he simply states, before in one quick motion slicing them off at one side.

“We’ll have to get some more”

He slices them off at the other side, and peels them away from you, making you bite your lip. No matter how many times Kai does a multitude of dirty things to you, your stomach fills with butterflies whenever you feel his eyes on your naked body.

He puts his knife against your lower abdomen and pushes it down slightly, making it dig into your skin without breaking it. He carefully inspects the dent in your skin as he moves it down your thigh, pushing the blade at an angle that won’t cut you. Kai is intoxicated at the incredible sight of you with your panties cut off, and staying still for him with fear behind your eyes. The vulnerability of you under his knife makes his cock harden, and he puts his other hand on your thigh with a tight grip. He gives it a harsh squeeze which not only sends a pool of arousal to your pussy, but also makes you gasp and move unintentionally, his blade digging into your skin making serious contact this time. But Kai continues to move it down, creating a slice in your thigh that begins to drool blood. You wince at the feeling but say nothing, willing to take it to see Kai pleased.

“Doing such a good job baby”, Kai mumbles under his breath, his eyes glued to the sight of you bleeding. The soft praise sticks in your mind, standing separate to the usual degrading you receive from Kai during sex. He puts the blade in front of his face and licks the blood off it, keeping strong eye contact with you, making you wet.

Just when you think you can’t get any more turned on by Kai’s sudden nurturing, as you feel your blood drip down almost to the bed sheet, he leans down and licks the blood up, then sucking the blood out of your scar. The stinging only adds to the pleasure, as you are far from new at pain and pleasure combined.

He continues sucking and kissing your thighs, getting dangerously close to where you yearn to feel his face, and starts mumbling sweet nothings against them.

“Took it like such a good girl, you know”

You lean your head back not being able to handle the praise, and bite your lip in excitement knowing you make Kai this happy.

“You’re gonna get a treat for this”. Kai sits up and puts his hands under your knees and picks up your thighs, taking a longing glance between your legs as he spreads them.

Although it takes everything from you to not sit and take the treat like a good girl, you hope the happier you make him the more he’ll do for you, and you use all the strength in your body to interrupt him.

“Kai, wait”, you say softly. “I have another outfit I think you might like”. He looks at you and considers your suggestion, before putting down your thighs. You quickly sit up and practically run to the bathroom, not only desperate to get your treat, but also knowing that the outfit will take a second to put on.

When you come back out to see Kai, his eyes widen and he resists the temptation to throw his mouth open, and clenches his jaw instead. He carefully examines you from top to bottom and back, soaking in your costume. You have a black sports bra with ropes on it, khaki shorts with a gun belt and a pistol, and your hair in a braid. Divine Ruler liked sweet obedient girls, but it was obvious the inner nerd in Kai would lose his mind at your outfit.

You walk over to him as confidently as possible, the hunger in his eyes giving you a huge ego boost, and he stands up to look down at you.

“Looks like you’re ready to be my naughty girl again, correct?”, he growls, and you nod at him. He smirks and walks over to the bed stand, taking out your handcuffs. But instead of following, you stay stood and look at him with a raised eyebrow, trying to look intimidating. He looks over at you and throws the handcuffs on the bed.

“Hurry up Lara, I have some digging and exploring to do”.

#american horror story #ahs #american horror story cult #american horror story smut #ahs cult #ahs smut #kai anderson #kai anderson x #kai anderson x reader #evan peters characters #evan peters character #evan peters smut #kai anderson smut #ahs kai

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anothertimdrakestan · 4 years

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Batfam On A Road Trip HC

req: “Batfam on a road trip? It’s been on my mind for like a week-”

oh god it’s probably so chaotic... and like distinctly dangerous???

also this is my car AU where there’s infinite rows of seats in the car until I’m done.

we’ve got Bruce driving - even though Damian, Dick, Tim, Jason, AND Steph all tried to get behind the wheel but after last years incident the only people allowed to drive are Bruce and Duke but Duke doesn’t like driving with his siblings bouncing off the damn walls.

Speaking of Duke, mans snagged himself a window seat SO FAST it would make your head spin. He likes to sit next to Damian (who got put in the middle because he’s the smallest) and they share earbuds and Duke’s phone which is loaded with like 128 hours of songs. Against popular belief, Damian is actually good at sharing when it’s not with one of his more “obnoxious” siblings and he and Duke get along really well - they also have the same music taste. Duke changes between queue-ing songs, staring out the window making little stories in his head, and watching Damian draw. He occasionally is tasked with holding the sharp objects smuggled into the car after they’re discovered by Bruce as he’s the second most responsible (after Cass).

Speaking of the most responsible sibling, Cass somehow got shotgun next to Bruce. This is because she’s the only who makes him not want to throw himself out of the car and she’s a pretty good navigator. So, as she tries to moderate the back of the car she also is in charge of agreeing on pit stops and coffee breaks which works well because Cass is fair and no one can be an asshole to her. On the first road trip Cass discovered a Wendy’s Frosty and now she will usually write at least one Wendy’s stop into the trip - no one complains except Tim who is forbidden from ordering the spicy nuggets after last years incident.

Tim, the one notorious for threatening to throw himself out of the car most often, is sat in the far back. He someone gets a row to himself under the guise of “sleeping” when in reality he spends the trip typing away on his laptop, chugging monster energy drinks, and occasionally trying to make Dick bark like a dog through some kind of sleep-manipulation he read about one night at 2am. It involves him whispering in his ear and usually ends up making the whole car uncomfortable, except Jason who thinks it’s the funniest shit ever. However, after the incident his back seat gets thoroughly checked by Bruce for stowaways every pitstop, but he’d never store a secret in the same place twice...

We move to Jason! Who sits next to Steph. They’re the snack distributors. Known for throwing popcorn in the other’s mouths but it usually ends up being thrown at Bruce, Damian, or both. Jason is a champ at fruit roll up eating competitions. He claims it’s because his tongue is so strong from eating... nevermind. Jason is surprisingly organized about the snacks, and frequently restocks (with Bruce’s credit card of course) on pit stops. Jason likes to complain early into the trip but by the end he’s telling the most fun stories, singing the loudest, and causing the most trouble. His and Steph’s row is definitely the most fun. But he’s still on the list with Bruce after helping Tim become a world class smuggler during the trip that shall not be named.

Steph is the family interpreter. She shares messages from the back to the front and vice versa. She’s known for saying the back row is hungry when it was in fact her but everyone loves her for her honesty. She’s the first to ask for a leg stretch break, and the one who puts on good songs after Dick has had the aux for too long. She’s basically the lorax of the batfam road trip. She usually makes the snack packs that are distributed throughout the car and is known for memorizing everyone’s favorites to optimize the best snacks. Steph actually wasn’t in the car for the great incident, she often questions what happened but only knows what Dick quietly whispered to her, something about feeding nuggets to a foreign passenger...

Dick, the storyteller, the terrible-music-meister, the road trip organizer himself, sits on the other side of Damian. He was the one who purposefully cleared everyone’s schedule for the weekend and who roughly planned the route. Dick works closely with Cass to make sure they’re going the right way and he also mediates all fights that occur during the trip, and trust that there are a lot. Dick is known for being restless and often throws his head out the window on the freeway “just to feel something” his quote not mine. Dick is incharge of taking all dangerous items off Damian (and sometimes Tim’s) person before the trip and he was in the most trouble when the intruders were found during last years incident. But he took it with stride and promised Bruce this year would be better!

Damian, the deeply unhappy middle seater, can be found drawing and pretending he can’t hear Grayson blabbing on about “this crazy adventure he had as Robin so sooo long ago”. Damian is known for pouting through the first stop but after he’s had some quiet time he can actually be seen with the corners of his mouth upturned- especially if they drive past farms during the trip (Cass tries extra hard to make sure they do). Damian also had been known to try to run away during stops so he’s kind of heavily watched by Bruce and Dick. Luckily, his place in the middle seat means he’s far enough away from Tim to be “bothered by his mere presence” which is a significant win and close enough to Duke and Cass to keep him sane.

We are in fact missing two main people: Babs and Alfred. These two opt to stay home, getting the much deserved break they need. They like to have tea parties, cleaning extravaganzas, and (though they won’t admit it) the occasional dance break in the batcave when no one’s looking. They like to take the batmobile to get food and their guilty pleasure is watching rom-coms on the giant screen in the batcave while eating “trashy takeaways” as Alfred so eloquently calls them. These two have the best time, but if anyone asks they were simple awaiting the rest of their families return.

That’s how I think it’d go down! Overall I think it would be chaotic but not as bad as one might think, they are family after all : )

Oh wait, I forget, there are two more stowaways...

Bart and Kon are silent, Kon mostly flies above but occasionally slips into the trunk to rest with Bart. Bart easily slips into the trunk and is quite literally gone in a flash if Bruce ever suspects anything. Just because Tim can’t hand feed him nuggets doesn’t mean the boy isn’t read for road trip part two! He just hopes Kon made a flying stop at tacobell because he’s getting kinda hungry...

“Timmmm are we there yet?”

“DID I JUST HEAR WHAT I THINK I DID TIM”

“oh my god I finally experienced the great incident but now part two!”

“hi Steph! Yeah I’m here! Sorry Brucie, but yeah, can you pass me a twizzler?”

“HOW DID YOU DO THIS AGAIN TIM I SWEAR TO-”

yup, now that’s a batfam road trip : )

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stanknotstark · 3 years

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Serinakakers As Proof

Serinakakers are actually called Norwegian butter cookies in english and I don’t think i’ve ever had one but they look good to me lol i didn’t feel like making a whole new otherworldly dessert sorry I’m lazy sometimes 😂

Summary: You’re dating Loki but keeping it a secret as per Loki’s request. The team starts to question if you’re lying about your ‘lover’ and Loki has to save you because Thor has really bad timing.

It all started two weeks into dating Loki. Loki was a little unsure what the team’s reaction to you two dating would be so he told you to keep it a secret for now. You respected his wishes but that didn’t stop you from flaunting about how you had the best ‘lover’ (Loki refused to be called boyfriend) in the world.

Two weeks in Valentines came up and Loki had a vase of beautiful flowers sent to you with a little card that said, “For the fairest of them all - your love” In reference to Snow White, which you had both watched very recently.

You had taken them around the whole tower, telling people it had come from your lover when they asked.

“At least give us his name, I promise to not, like, totally have a background check on him!” Tony says with a pout.

You laugh and shake your head. “No can do Tin Man. He doesn’t want you all to know who he is just yet.”

“See, that makes me a little skittish, if he doesn’t want us to know he has something to hide.”

“I agree with him and think he should remain nameless.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better.” Tony points out.

You shrug at Tony and do the motions for zipping your lips closed and throwing out the key.

Loki ends up picking a random day, a month later, to send you a big basket of chocolate, your favorite hard candies, and really small plushies of all the Avengers (It’s totally not his way of giving you sweets because you’re on your period). Your favorite plushy isn’t one of the Avengers, it’s a small plushy of Loki. Because you’re given the basket in front of everyone you make sure not to freak out over the Loki plushy but you keep stealing glances at the god who sits apart from everyone else, reading.

“He even got you Loki?” Steve asks bewildered.

“Like it or not, Loki is part of the group. Seems he has built a group of fans now.” You say, stealing a glance at Loki who smirks at his book. You know he’s pleased you’ve defended his honor.

“You do realize I’m right here, do you not?” Loki says, still not looking up from his book.

Steve at least has the decency to look ashamed and his cheeks flare up.

“There’s not a card with a name!” Tony says making everyone look at the basket again.

“Of course not, you dumbass.” You say, slapping the back of Tony’s head, Tony proceeds to throw his hands and slap away at your receding hand. Thor and Bruce chuckle with you at his childish antics.

“Can you at least give us a letter in his name?” Clint asks from your side.

You sigh and look to the ceiling in thought.

“K.”

“Kevin!” Clint immediately yells. “Wait, we don’t know a Kevin.”

“Who said you know who it is?” You ask as you gather your basket to put in your room.

Clint completely disregards what you said and yells, “Kate!”

Natasha hits Clint’s arm, “She’s straight, stupid.”

Tony then pipes in as you walk away rolling your eyes, “Kyle! Kaden! Kayden but with a y!”

“His name doesn’t start with a k guys!” You yell as the elevator closes, exasperated.

Next, a week and a half has passed when they start questioning your relationship. Thor figures it out but only because he grew up with the thing you’re gifted.

You had been the last one to enter the kitchen for dinner and right as you entered Thor came up to you with puppy dog eyes and was holding a tin of sweets. You take a long look at the delicacies, they’re some type of cookies, in a swirl pattern, and decorated with powdered sugar. Thor answers your questions right after you think that.

“They’re butter cookies, can I please have one, your boyfriend sent them.” Thor says making sure to enunciate the word boyfriend. Your eyes snap to Thor’s and the god smiles down at you. On one hand it looks innocent but you see past his facade.

He knows.

You clear your throat and grab the tin from him, making sure to pull one of the cookies out and give it to him.

“Since you’re nice, sure, big guy.” You say giving Thor a look that said ‘Say nothing’. Thor bounces from foot to foot, shoving his cookie in the face of the other Avengers.

“She likes me!” Thor roars then demolishes the cookie in a single bite.

You laugh, glance at Loki from under your lashes as you look at the cookies and pick one out to try.

When the cookie touches your tongue you can’t help closing your eyes and moaning. You chew and the cookie just melts in your mouth. You moan as your take another bite and you think you could practically orgasm this cookie is so damn good but remember the entire team is there.

When you finish the cookie you open you eyes and look at everyone. Tony is looking at you like he wants to eat you, Natasha is eating her food like she doesn’t fucking care, Steve is blushing so hard you think his head might explode. Clint is shocked, and Bruce is looking at you with a raised brow. The last person you look at is Loki who sits there staring at you with flushed cheeks and a glint in his eye that says he’s going to tear those noises from your lips again, this time without the cookies.

You cough and look at Thor who is smiling like he is satisfied. You understand why he wanted one so bad now.

“I’m sorry but what the fuck just happened.” Tony says shaking his head.

You laugh. “I had an orgasm while eating a cookie, get with the program.”

“Honestly, if his cookies are that good you need to marry the man, just saying.” Tony waves his had at you then goes on to start eating his dinner.

You go to eat another cookie but Loki finally says something.

“No dessert before dinner, put the cookies down.”

“Or what?” You challenge the god.

Loki raises a brow at you and levels you with a glare.

“Put them down.”

You suck on your gums and squint at the god as you put the cookies on the table.

“You’re lucky I like you.”

“Ok, first of all, you like everyone so I don’t see the point in saying that. Second, how have you told Loki you like him before me? We all know I’m the favorite around here.” Tony scoffs while aggressively stabbing a broccoli floret.

You take your seat next to Loki and that’s when it’s asked.

“Is your boyfriend even real? Or are you gifting yourself all these things so you’ll make one of us jealous?” Clint asks in a normal voice, he really doesn’t mean it to be mean.

You stop smiling at Tony and frown at Clint.

“He’s real.” You say a little hurt.

“I mean it just seems a little fishy.”

You pout at Clint.

“I could look into her purchases and see if she bought it herself.” Tony rouses from the other side of the table. He’t totally joking but Steve doesn’t take it that way.

“Tony! That’s private, you can’t just do that!” Steve tries protecting you.

You start to get a little angry.

“He’s real. If you don’t think he’s real then that’s on you. I know he is and that’s all that matters.” You reason, more for yourself than anything else.

Under the table you feel Loki’s hand squeeze at your thigh.

“Just give us something to let us know he’s real.” Tony pushes.

You slam your hands on the table and stand up so fast the chair you were in topples over.

“Stop!” Loki yells, in a quick move he stands and puts an arm in front of you, not to protect Tony but to stop you before you did something you regret.

The room is silent save for your rough breathing.

“It’s me.” Loki harshly says, glaring at Tony and Clint.

“You don’t have to cover for her, it’s embarrassing but-”

“Shut up!” You scream at Clint.

“I’m not trying to cover for her. I’ve been dating her for the past month and a half. I did not want her to tell you because I wasn’t sure how all of you would react.” Loki gets out then turns and brings you to him so he may kiss you.

Loki makes it a show for the team, relaxes as you lean into him, your hands wrapping around his neck and tugging at the nape of his neck. He pulls away before you can lose yourself in his kiss and looks at the team with a raised eyebrow as if asking ‘Is that enough for you?’.

Finally Thor peeps in between a big bite of his food. “Ay, Loki is telling the truth, those are Serinakakers, an Asgardian delicacy my mother used to make us.”

Loki rolls his eyes at his brother’s really bad timing and then looks back down at you, you’re still wrapped around him, now with a tiny smile on your lips as you look at him.

“Ok, darling?” Loki asks anyways.

“I’ll be happy if you let me take those cookies and eat those for dinner in my bedroom.”

Loki brings a hand up and trails a finger from the back of your jaw to your chin, going up to touch your bottom lip. “Only if you promise to make those sweet sounds every bite you take.” Loki whispers.

“Ok this is seriously gross, I’m literally gonna throw up.” Tony says with a fake gag.

You laugh and pull from Loki who glares at Tony. You point at Tony, then at Clint. “Don’t think you two are off the hook, I’m still royally pissed, you’re just lucky when I’m around Loki I can’t stay mad.”

You make your way around the table, Loki following, dinner forgotten, and pick up your cookies. Then, you head towards your room.

Halfway to the elevator Loki grabs your hand and doesn’t let go until you’re both laying on your bed enjoying your cookies. Talking about everything and nothing.

#loki x reader #loki #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #reader insert #my writing #i had this idea a few days ago and didn't have any time to really write it out #i feel i could have done more but my mind is working at like ADD mode right now #my adderall is wearing off cuz i took it early #so idk if ill get to write more or not #but hopefully i can ^^#also my transitions could use a little work i apologize about that i try not to make them so generic and like next #this happens #or like then he #and on this day #i just have trouble of thinking of good ways to transition sorry

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austarus · 3 years

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Harrison Wells (Eobard Thawne) x Reader Ballistic Confrontations (2/3)

**A/N: The picture/edit/gif does not belong to me. It belongs to its rightful owner.

Word Count: 4578

Part 1 Part 3

Oliver’s eyes narrowed at the doppelganger he had struck down. What a fool. Oliver-X nudged the body with his foot before giving the unconscious Thawne doppelganger a rough kick to the chest. The impact of the sound was drowned out by the alarm. The body had lurched to the side and the man’s glasses flew off his face, yet still no response. A cruel smirk crossed the Dark Arrow’s features, secretly feeling satisfied on taking out his pent-up rage towards Thawne against a weak mirror image. A damned fool to not be prepared for a secondary attack. He should have known better. Oliver hummed to his thoughts, his eyes showing nothing but utter coldness. Ruthlessness. This was his path after all. Weak, just like the rest of this world. It’s so-called ‘heroes’. Pathetic. Oliver looked on with no remorse as he walked through the halls, boots.

“Such a shame.”

This is what needs to be done. An image of his Kara drifted to his mind, the way her body convulsed. The blood that lingered. Her smile fading. But Oliver-X shook it away. She would be fine with their forces at the warehouse, there was enough action going on in order to legitimize the scope of their distraction while he infiltrated his doppelgangers base of operation. Thawne’s labs- or as Oliver thought of it, Thawne’s Castle of Cards. He is the only one among them that knows it tech and secrets inside-out. The Queen doppelganger cracked his neck, readjusting the bow in his hand as he braced himself to face-off with the lackeys that were left over in this forsaken excuse for a laboratory. Everything is going according to plan.

***

Mick and Frost had already left, planning to intercept the Earth-Xers in the Speed Lab. Meanwhile you were to stay with the ladies as backup. Electricity hummed through your veins as adrenaline pumped. Multiple camera feeds showed your friends either fighting or getting dragged to the Pipeline. Still radio silence from the others. You gritted your teeth as your eyes focused on the screen where the fiends threw Harry into a cell like ragdoll. Their first victim. One thing was for sure, Oliver-X was here directing the grunts while his cohorts were distracting the dispatched heroes. Felicity had her tablet handy in case she needed to work her tech magic, shutting down the Cortex mainframe from being accessed by Oliver-X and his cronies. Iris had quickly suggested the vents were the best place to hide until they can determine what necessary steps you three would need to take to get to the others. The three of you would not succumb to the position of sitting ducks. Unfortunately, Iris didn’t have enough time to grab a laser rifle from the closet.

You climbed into the vents first with quiet movements, Felicity following and Iris behind her to seal the vent. Closing your eyes for a moment, you focused- tuning out Iris and Felicity’s hushed words of worry for their men and your friends. You tuned out the dull thrum of electricity that emitted from the labs’ computer system, focusing on one type. Cellular electricity. Human generated electricity. Snapping your eyes open, you lead them down a few routes. The two women chalked it up to your knowledge of the ventilation system as you’d hid here multiple times to escape the tension in the Cortex, but really it had been the intensity of electricity that steered you. The multiple electrical signals that spiked made you keen on navigating away from those corridors and rooms. More Nazi’s would be on guard there. One little scuffle with the wrong group could alert Oliver-X. You breathed a sigh of relief as the neural electricity passed by, unaware of what lies just above.

Iris didn’t know, neither did Felicity. No, they would never know. No one would. No one would ever know that you could shatter a person’s nervous system with a flick of the wrist. Never know that you can put the one of the most vital organs into cardiac arrest. Cardiac arrest usually resulted from an electrical disturbance in the heart. It's not the same as a heart attack. Shutting down cells, yet overstimulating neurons. How would the human body fare? They were… morbid curiosities that haunted you. But rather giving into those conjectures you settled for a milder solution, immersing yourself into the field of electrical neurophysiology rather than contemplating how a person can expire by your will. Eobard had been intrigued with your desire to understand the physiological field that your powers can be derived from. He helped you, of course, entertaining the electricity that sparked in your eyes with understanding. You breezed through medical articles and journals, understanding the neural circuitry and it’s outlets. Yet, your intent wasn’t to kill (not to his surprise), just to render an adversary unconscious for a period of time. Or in a speedster’s case, the ability to jumpstart their heart and motor functions. Stimulating a failing organ, should the situation arise. Even in a way to hypothetically understand how a speedster’s body can siphon off your generated electricity without harming their natural laws of the Speedforce.

But like any meta, there were hypothetical limits and lines drawn, even to a possible conclusion of short-circuiting your own body without careful proctoring. You’d be lying to yourself if you hadn’t wanted to push your abilities further than that, but you hesitated. The desire was strong, but the darkness was too powerful. Could you afford the hypothetical blood on your hands? Would you be able to sleep at night, knowing that you’d be just another monster? Questions like that swirled in your head, but it’s the remembrance of your friends that you didn’t give into that… dark instinct.

You’d done it before. Once. On accident of course, but you were overwhelmed with anger and terror and fear that night. Trudging on, that moment resurfaced to the front of your mind. Your skin prickled as you remembered the sensation. Feeling the meta’s heart stop and mind short-circuit with neural electricity. The body shut down. The electricity out as if you’d turn off the lights inside the intruder’s body. You didn’t mean to. You were just scared. There was just… so much blood. Blood on the ground. Blood on Harry. Harry’s blood. Your breath hitched for a moment, but the two ladies behind you were none-the-wiser. Swallowing harshly, you pushed the image of the dead meta and Harry’s half-terrified/half-surprised face. You both never talked about that incident, nor did he ever bring it up to the others. It wasn’t his right to, after all. Two years had past, but that incident remained with you. You’d sworn that a moment like that wouldn’t occur. The guilt was too great on your conscious even if it was for self-defense. But…

Looking down from the vent opening, you realized your electrical instincts had brought you close to the entrance of the Time Vault. It was the one place Felicity and Iris can at least hold off in. You just needed to buy them some time. Felicity is more than capable of utilizing Gideon into locking the Time Vault, especially without Eobard around. After a few minutes had passed, you deemed that it was safe enough to drop down. You found the panel entrance, unlocking the pebbled room with your handprint to the side of the panel. Felicity and Iris jumped down, your plan dawning on them. You eased them in with a push. The fake panel wall reintegrated shut. You didn’t have much time.

“Find a way to get in contact with the Legends,” You spoke as the door had shut. “Smalls and Tinman should be aboard with Amaya.”

“What are you going to do?” Iris frowned as Felicity got to work.

“Buy you some time,” you breathed, pulling out your gloves. “It’s all that we can work with at the moment before the Dark Archer decides to play Cat and Mouse with us. If anything goes south, don’t look for me.” You needed to make sure.

“But-”

“Iris, please.” Your eyes trained on her, reluctance present in her demeanor. “Trust me.” She nodded. You left.

Now, who would be the cat and who would be the mouse, I wonder? You mused, climbing into the nearest low vent.

***

“Excellent, I will rendezvous at the warehouse,” Oliver-X nodded, his hand on his comm system. The heroes have been detained, her doppelganger seized. His own doppelganger caught. No more tricks. The labs were secure, remnants of the Earth-1 fighters detained. All is going according to plan. His lips twitched up.

“Did you know that the human body can only generate between 10 and 100 millivolts?”

You jumped down from the vent, landing perfectly on stable footing. The Dark Archer had his arrow and bow drawn in an instant, readily aimed at you. He watched you with careful, stormy eyes. You both stood in silence. One move and he could off me, but so could I. Your gloved fingers fidgeted; a subtle flicker of electricity honed there. “Such a fickle thing, really, when there’s an electrical imbalance within the body. Various things can go wrong.”

The Dark Archer’s eyes narrowed, noting the underlying threat in your words. “You’d be smarter to run. Wouldn’t want to end up like the others.”

“I don’t run from danger.” You smiled wickedly.

“Such naïve words from a hero.”

The dead meta flashed through you mind again. The blood on your hands. Would you do it again? For your friends? Your family? “I’m no hero.” Yes.

You two had circled each other in the dimly light room, tension thick in the air. Dust collected here and there, white sheets covered table and monitors. Oliver-X was amused, to say the least, his eyes locked on you with every intent to-

“-To my knowledge you have a speedster in your arsenal.”

He didn’t blink. “What of it?”

You rolled your eyes. Really, such a man with little words. “Take me to him.” Your hand balled into a fist The bulb behind Oliver-X shattered instantly, yet he did not flinch or look back.

As fun as this could be, I’m not here to play games.

“You are in no place to make such demands.”

Neither is he.

“It’s not a demand, just an innocent request. Indulge me, breacher.” You held your head higher, “You’re not the only one with a love.” You sensed his hesitation as he understood. So, you pushed. “The radiation is killing her, isn’t it? Flew too close to the sun, like poor Icarus.” You couldn’t help but taunt him. Oh, it felt good. Felicity had given you the run down, reiterating Alex’s hypothesis in regarding what she found in Kara-X’s blood cells. It didn’t take a genius to understand why they came here. Why they’d come now. With Eobard in tow. “Too much is too much, in the end. But… that’s why you’re here, right? To fix your love before- well, before the radiation eats at her.” You huffed a laugh and paused. Another lightbulb burst. Each out releasing electrical energy. “Right?”

An arrow whizzed past your head, hitting the wall behind you. The Dark Archer’s patience was running thin. You swallowed thickly but didn’t cower. Fear tickled the back of your mind, but you pushed it away. You needed emotions to overwhelm him into slipping. It clouded rational thinking in even the most skilled assailants. Eobard had drilled that into you.

Breep, breep, breep.

The SS alarm rang against his person. You tilted your head at him, curiously watching what he’d do next. If he chose to fight, then so would you with every ounce of energy in your system and that surrounding you. That comm, you could use that. That’s assuming it didn’t self-destruct when out of his reach.

Oliver-X grunted. His time was running, he needed to get to the rendezvous point. “Fortunately for you, I’m in a good mood. However, one foot out of line and you’ll be joining your friends on this earth’s makeshift cells.” He grabbed you by the upper arm and dragged you to walk with him. “That or an arrow to the heart.” Blunt just like Ollie. Well, this is better than being dead. Yay for progress.

***

Yawning, you shifted a bit in your seat. Your hands were bound behind you and there were two Nazi soldier guards to each side. In a sense, you were absolutely bored. Neither soldier paid you any mind and your hands were getting kind of numb from how long it’s been held back there. Basically Oliver-X dumped you onto them and gave them permission to kill should you escape your babysitters. Great. How long has it been? An hour? Two hours? Where were the others?

“So,” You broke the set silence. “Does this job give you guys any benefits, or do you guys have to like… find your own medical insurer? Does your Earth even do that?”

“Silence, we do not acknowledge such petty talk from someone of your caliber.” Soldier 1 had his finger on the trigger as he turned to you.

Someone’s crabby today. “Well, that was rude. I was just asking a question. Are you guys always this ill-mannered?”

“No, Ian just didn’t have his coffee today and he’s pulling some overtime.” Soldier 2 spoke up from polishing his weapon. Interesting, meaning that it’d be easier to take him out since he’s running on lack of sleep and is exhausted. This guy, though, seems more alert so I’ll maybe have to take his buddy hostage before whacking him.

“Devon! You’re not supposed to be fraternizing with the enemy?”

“How is it fraternizing if it has nothing to do with the General’s heart?”

I think he’s talking about Kara-X. “Devon does have a point,” you piped up. “Honestly, just-”

You blinked and Eobard had sped into the room, wind blowing as he had entered. Negative electricity deliciously licked in the air. Your heart skipped a bit as his red eyes met yours, but your mind anchored you. “Get out,” his distorted voice had hissed at the guards, both who had which shuffled out like ants. You weren’t going to miss them, though their bickering did entertain you. In an instant you were free from the power dampening cuffs and Eobard had drawn his cowl down from over his head along with his techy face shield-mask thing. Just seemed excessive. He took a step towards you with a hand outstretched, but you leaped from your chair and stepped back with a hardened look.

“Don’t touch me.”

A flicker of pain resonated in his eyes, something hollow hit your own heart, but this needed to be done. You needed answers from him, so you kept your distance. “This… isn’t the welcome back reunion I was expecting.”

“Screw whatever it was you were expecting,” You spat, eyeing the SS on his chest in lightning bolt form with disgust. It replaced his Reverse Flash insignia. “Nazi’s, Eobard? Really? What the hell are you doing?”

“You’re angry. Understandable.”

“Of course, I’m angry! You were gone. All of a sudden, three years ago. Erased from existence. And now you’re just… here. With Nazi’s no less. You hate them!”

He licked his lips, frustration present in his tone. He did hate them, every last one of them. “I was just trying to survive.”

“Really? Really? Like this?”

“I had no choice. I just needed some time. Time that-”

You shook your head at him, anger sparking within you. “-No, do not give me the whole ‘time’ bullshit. You can save that for Barry. You owe me an explanation before I decide to over-write every one of your friends’ brains here.”

“They are not my friends,” Eobard retaliated fiercely, he took a breath to calm down. “Did Barry not tell you?”

“Tell me what?” You questioned through gritted teeth.

“You want an explanation,” Eobard had spoken before he whisked you away to the top of one of the Central City towers. The air was crisp, drizzle cascading onto the city. You regained your footing; Eobard gripped your upper arms to steady you before letting go. Message received that you didn’t want him to touch you. “Fine, I’ll give you an explanation. When Barry saved his mother and changed the timeline, he had pulled me from that night and caged me. Like an animal. But,” The yellow speedster started chuckling to himself, doing the little pace he did when he did his monologues. Yes, he does it frequently. “He needed me. He needed me to fix his mistakes. He was losing his speed, his memories of the previous life he had. And oh, did I relish in making him say what he needed me to do the most.” You just rolled your eyes, arms crossing.

“Get to the point, Thawne.”

“One thing led to another and certain… things happened with the Legends and I ended up in the Speedforce after the Black Flash got me, after being erased again. Or so I thought. I… The Speedforce works in mysterious ways, you see. It punished me in for my deeds by sending me to the most miserable place in the multiverse.”

“Earth-X.”

“Precisely. You’ve seen just how ruthless they are, anyone with powers that had opposed them were decimated. I couldn’t die. Not again. I wouldn’t allow it to happen again. Not like that and certainly not at their hands.”

“But others can?”

That stung him. Eobard paused for a moment before his eyes reconnected with yours. “No matter what I could do, they would have found me out. To the expense of those lives, they were already targeted for death regardless of how they can plea or be helped. There’s a resistance group, it’s only a gamble of fate if they’re snuffed out or snuff out the Reich. I was confined to their labs because of my intellect and speed. My task was simple. Find a solution to Overgirl. Fast.”

“And that was to come here. To cut open Kara for her.”

“Here’s the tricky part that they don’t know,” Eobard grinned wickedly, giving you that little look that says he’s got a wildcard up his sleeve, “a heart that they’re so desperately chasing after won’t save Kara-X.”

Enlightenment flared up in your mind. Eobard took a step towards you, this time you didn’t back away. He recognized that look. “A heart won’t stop the cells in her body from replicating and contaminating the heart cells once more. You threw them a bone to get here.”

Eobard nodded, “I studied her anatomy, I’ve made the calculations. Even with a new heart she’d just revert back to her previous radioactive state. The heart would be a temporary fix, but her internal organs are all infected. Festering.” The man in the yellow suit rubbed his lips with two fingers, a move he does when his nerves were getting out of his control. When things were going south, and he needed to recalculate and try a different approach. “I manipulated the calculations in order to seem like the heart would be a reasonable solution along with pumping Kara-X with new blood. Didn’t take long, of course. But I made sure I was the only scientist working on this project. I couldn’t have a liability if others were involved, else they would have made sure I would never run again.” The speedster had marked those words grimly.

Your throat went dry. Death had been haunting Eobard since he had gotten stuck in your time, it even followed him to Earth-X, the place of his punishment. You could have lost him without knowing. You did. Back when he get involved with the Legends, apparently. The speedster stepped closer, the back of his gloved hand brushing against your cheek. You flinched back to reality at the situation, back to the reality of him. Eobard’s heart tugged at the idea that you were seeing him as the rest of those monsters. While he was one, he wasn’t like the ones from Earth-X.

“And Oliver-X is too blinded by his love for her that he’d go to any extent to get her back to 100%.” You summed up. Like how Eobard had done anything to come back here. You gingerly took his hand. What a mess.

“There wasn’t a moment when I hadn’t thought of you while there. But I needed a way back, I needed to get back here. Back to you. I wanted to come back, needed to or else I was going to go insane without you. I was going to lose my sanity and myself there. But the thought of you kept me together. And I would do anything. Even if it did mean ‘allying’ myself with them,” he had done air quotes around that word, “in order to get back here. To my Earth. To you.”

His words echoed in your mind. Anything could be anything. “That won’t excuse what you’ve done. What… what you’d been doing.” I can’t fathom the thought of him… carrying out those heinous crimes and missions. Yes, Eobard is no stranger to committing a felony or five. But to the degree of these Earth-Xers?

“No, it doesn’t.” He wanted to ask. Eobard so desperately wanted to ask for forgiveness, but he stopped himself. “But I hadn’t participated in anything regarding their goals. Just the Overgirl project. Oliver-X wouldn’t have allowed me to anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“You already understand the type of radioactive issue Kara-X is experiencing, provided by Oliver’s Kryptonite arrow.”

“Yeah, Felicity gave me the run down. Her cells have too much solar radiation. Cells subjected to such energy can be fatal to her system. The cells are essentially overwhelmed and overworked that they’re misfunctioning. There’s no regulation in her system or that regulation is waning.”

“The project was the cause… of her imminent downfall. She wanted to be stronger, fly higher, hit harder, so she ordered I subject her to solar rays.”

“Eo, did you-”

“Yes, I did.” He had said it without hesitation. The most logical thing he could have done. Oliver-X, he could handle in a fight. Only a bow and arrow with some fists being thrown, no problem. But Overgirl… “Solar radiation exposure in concentrated time increments were implicated to avoid suspicion on my part. And like I had predicted she demanded a higher dosage when given smaller amounts. Kara-X isn’t a patient person, when she demanded results, she demanded them now. I delivered. She is her own double-edged sword.”

“She was your death sentence,” You deadpanned, you squeezed his hand and he winced. She had broken his wrist earlier when he and Oliver-X were at it. She was not pleased with her threat. “Should you have slipped up.”

“When things don’t go her way she’d take it out on me,” Eobard mused, pulling his hand back to take off his gloves. Recovering bruises and dark spots were on his wrist. Your heart sunk further. “Blamed me for her sickness when even Queen understands it was her lust for power that drove her to this extent.” The genius saw hate flash in your eyes as he felt the electricity spark in the air. “It was either I take her out or the Flash and his friends given her remaining time.”

“Either one would have driven her to her death.”

“Quite frankly, it’d be better for the latter, but since Barry and his entourage were sent away.”

“What do you mean they were sent away?”

“…”

“I think it’s best if I don’t tell you, or else they’ll think something’s up if your reaction isn’t sincere.”

You pursed your lips and deeply frowned. You had gotten your answers, more than that, but then that led to ‘Where the hell did they get taken to?’ And then it hit you like how Weather Wizard hit Barry with an ice ball. Eobard raised an eyebrow at you, knowing you’d figure it out on your own.

“No.”

“I’m afraid so, t-” Breep, breep, breep. Eobard cursed, shutting off the alarm on his person. “We need to go back. Now.” Eobard swooped you up, your arms interlocked around his neck before he sped you back to the labs. Chit-chat over. Back to facing the real problem. Overgirl.

***

What awaited you was a scene you were not prepared for. Kara strapped down to a gurney under red light, one you can assume is dampening her Kryptonian strength to a mere human. She squirmed and grunted, but to no avail. She could not break free. Overgirl was smirking over her, such cruelty and intense demeanor a strange contrast to the kind and soft-hearted Kara you knew. Oliver-X watched with indifferent eyes as guards were stationed outside the med bay.

“I would stop squirming if I were you,” Kara-X mused. “Wouldn’t want your heart to give out already?”

“At least I have a heart.” Kara retorted.

Upon your entrance with Eobard, Oliver-X’s eyes narrowed slightly while Kara-X crinkled her nose. Kara’s eyes went wide but blinked her surprise away as she glared at the speedster beside you. She hadn’t forgotten how he said he’d carve her open from earlier.

“Kara,” you whispered, her eyes were brought back to you and you shook your head subtly.

“Well, well. I didn’t know you liked to play with the rats, Eobard.” Overgirl sneered at you and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes at her. Eobard gritted his teeth but remained silent. You’ve had worse scathing comments thrown your way since being with Eobard before the accelerator explosion. Being called a rat wasn’t anything. Kara-X frowned at your lack of response. “Now, who’s this little… rodent?”

“That’s none of your-“

“-His love.” Oliver-X cut Eobard off. Kara’s eyebrows went up from where she laid.

Kara-X drawled in morbid amusement with a clap of her hands, “How touching.” A twisted smile ran across her lips as her eyes scanned you and Eobard carefully. Eobard had placed restraints on you once more but had whispered to you that they were loose enough for you to slip out should hostilities arise. “Who knew that the bastard speedster had a heart. Such emotions. A person that actually ate up his lies and loved him. Just another monster. Interesting, interesting. Makes this all the easier to-”

“You lay one hand on her, and I’ll personally see to it that you never get your new heart and he dies an excruciating painful and slow death.” Eobard didn’t smirk at the Kryptonian-X. His words were slow and they were lethal. Rather his signature smirk appeared, “After all, I’m the only one fully equipped and to successfully perform your surgery before your time runs out.” He glanced at the wall clock, the second hand moving along with each tick. “Tick tock, time is ticking. For you.” Kara glanced between you and Eobard then to Oliver-X and her doppelganger.

“You insolent-”

“Kara,” The Dark Archer stopped her, a hand gripping her upper arm harshly. She looked him dead in the eye, so much hate, so much anger. Clouded emotions. Oliver-X’s own eyes challenged her in a silent match, “Enough. Let’s go.”

The pair left you and Eobard with Kara, but not before throwing disgusted looks your way. You turned back to Eobard, who had changed back into his normal choice of all-black clothing. You gave him a pointed look, which he understood perfectly.

Now what do we do?

76 notes · View notes

turning-dreams-into-chaos · 4 years

Text

Congratulations

Fred Weasley x Reader

~Master~

Word Count: 1.7K

A/N: Hope you like! Please like, reblog, comment, whatever! I need validation! 😂 I wrote this on a whim and okay, if anyone knows that like interview or whatever that Selena Gomez did where she was asked a song that reminded her of being in love, that’s what got me writing this at midnight because I caught inspiration.

***

“Y/N will play with us! Won’t you, Y/N?” Ginny yelled out as she entered the common room, ruining the world you distracted yourself in with your book. Behind her was a group of people, a couple of them having the Weasley red hair, but all of them your friends. Ginny smiled at you, approaching the table you sat at and sliding into the seat.

You sighed deeply, putting a fake smile on your own face as you closed your book. “What are we playing?” A few people celebrated as you agreed, but right away your eyes flickered to a certain nervous face. It wasn’t that Fred didn’t want you to play, it was that since you both broke up 3 weeks ago, you’ve barely said a word to him. If you play this game, you’d be close, not walking out of rooms the moment the other walks in. You gulped, feeling Ginny pull you over to the couches where everyone began taking seats. You fell in between Hermione and Harry, both of them quickly noticing Fred taking the seat farthest from you.

There were 7 people playing with you. Ginny, Harry, Hermione and Ron, the twins, and Angelina. George pulled out a box from behind him as you quirked a brow. “What are we playing?” you asked again, letting a laugh as George made a big debacle of opening it.

“It’s a game Fred and George made.” Hermione said as leaned over to you, amused to see how this would turn out. “We’re the test subjects.”

Your eyes went wide. “What pranks weren’t enough, they moved onto games?” you laughed as Hermione smiled and shrugged, knocking her shoulder with yours.

“Tell us the rules.” Ginny told her brother causing George to roll his eyes as he removed the last two things from the box.

“It’s a simple game.” He began, sharing a smirk with Fred.

“Like Truth or Dare.”

“Only different.” They said together, having planned their pitch beforehand. You kept your eyes on George as they spoke, too afraid of sparing a glance to Fred as he carried on.

“We’re spilt into two teams and each team gets a vial and a card.” He held up each object to demonstrate, the vial was quite large, barely able to fit his hand as he placed it on the table and the card looked blank. Fred’s eyes met yours briefly as you looked at the objects, a hitch in his breathing letting you know he hadn’t seen it coming. George waited for his brother to say the next line before realizing he was looking at you, too busy staring at your now down casted face as George took over.

“The card will ask whoever’s holding it a question, and you have to answer truthfully, otherwise you have to do the dare that’s written on the back.” Fred seemed to snap out of his trance in the middle of George’s instructions, shifting in his seat as he kept his eyes off you for the time being. “Whenever you answer a question truthfully, part of the vial fills up. If you choose the dare instead, the vial doesn’t fill. The first team to answer enough questions to fill the vial completely, wins.”

Small sounds of intrigue went around the group and it seemed like everyone wanted to play the game. “How are we splitting us up?” Ron asked, glancing around the group. “Older versus younger?” He offered and you swallowed thickly. That would put you on a team with Fred, and you weren’t sure that’s what you wanted. Hermione, having seen your reaction to Ron’s suggestion, was the first to step in.

“How about girls versus boys, instead?” She offered. There were a few sounds of agreement, but when Hermione shot Ron and Harry a glare and flickered her eyes between you and Fred, Harry and Ron were suddenly more enthusiastic about the idea. Everyone moved, putting the girls together on one side of the table and the boys on the other.

“Thank you.” You whispered to Hermione and she squeezed your hand under the table. She might be 2 years younger than you, but Hermione has always been easy to talk to, especially in the last few weeks.

The twins got the game started, using Harry as the first person to answer a question. The question he had to answer was simple: What’s your favorite dessert?

“Treacle tarts.” Harry answered immediately and you had to hold back a chuckle, remembering all the times you’ve seen him stuff his face with them. The boy’s vial started to fill slowly from the bottom, a blue liquid inside that you all furrowed your brows at.

“What is that?” Angelina asked from next to you.

Fred and George shared a look and a smile as the they answered her together. “Magic.” Everyone chuckled at them, including you. You knew they wouldn’t say, gotta have their secrets. What you weren’t aware of, was Fred watching as you laughed, the slight tug of his heart when he heard the sound he’d grown to miss.

The questions kept coming, each group taking turns answering them as the vials slowly filled up. A few people had opted for taking dares as the questions became harder to answer. George, for one, was dared to change into girl clothes for the rest of the game and you took him upstairs, throwing him a few of your clothes to wear. Needless to say, it was quite entertaining for everyone as he came downstairs with you in tow and the whole group laughed, including the boy himself. Harry was dared to sprint down to the Slytherin Common room and back 3 times, and Angelina was dared to perform a song for the group, which George immediately complained about the unfairness of the dares in his own product. You had answered quite a few questions yourself, ones like: Your favorite place in the world or what’s the most illegal thing you’ve ever done. The girls’ vial was almost full as Hermione answered her most likely final question, leaving enough room for one last person, which much to your luck, was you. You sat with a smile, everyone laughing as Ron opted out of answering his question, deciding spilling who his crush was wasn’t something he was going to do, despite the fact that everyone knew it was Hermione, who blushed as you poked her leg.

“Alright Y/N, you just need one more question to win it for the girls.” George said with a smirk as Hermione passed you the card. You stuck your tongue out at him, earning a laugh from everyone as George put his hands up. “Or you could take the dare like a chicken and let us prove once and for all that we’re better.” The boys cheered in a friendly fashion as the girls booed, everyone sitting with a smile on their faces.

“Haven’t taken a dare yet, Weasley. Don’t plan on it now.” You shrugged with a cocky look before putting your hand to your chest. “Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask, how’s my jeans, chicken?” you asked, hearing Ginny clap as she laughed at her brother’s fallen face. Fred pulled your attention as he laughed at your question, seeing George shift awkwardly next to him. You quickly let your head drop again, wearing a fake smile as you tried not to look back up at him. It was harder to do than you thought.

“Read the card!” Ron laughed out, seeing the card had already scribbled a question on it.

“Okay!” Your grin turned real again as you started reading. “What is a song...” Everyone knew something was wrong the moment you stopped in the middle of the sentence and gulped, letting your smile fall off your face immediately. They all got quiet as they waited. “… that reminds you of being in love?”

Fred wasn’t sure he was breathing as you finished reading. You couldn’t spare him a glance, instead staring at the paper in front of you. Everyone was watching you, sharing looks with each other without any clue of what to do.

“You can do the dare, on the back.” Harry spoke up, pointing to the under side of the car. His words reminded you that you weren’t alone as you sucked in a breath, looking up to him and shook your head.

“No, it’s fine.” You didn’t know what fine meant, but you knew you were far from it. You tried to think, any song in the world that reminded you of being in love. The only problem was had only been in love with one person, and it ended with your heart broken. The only song you could think of was the one playing at the yule ball when Fred and you went together, the first time he ever told he loved you.

Does it remind of being in love if all it makes you feel is heartbroken?

“I don’t know.” You whispered, gently placing the card down on the table. Your eyes moved around everyone in the room before landing on Fred and neither of you looked away. “I don’t think I have one.”

Fred felt the sting behind his eyes as they met yours and he tried not to cry, not in front of everyone here during a game. A game that was supposed to be fun, a project he started 3 weeks ago to get his mind busy and off the breakup and here it was hurting him more.

The vial on the table slowly filled up as you turned to look, watching it change a light shade of purple as well, meaning your team won. No one celebrated. Instead you all sat there, frowns on your faces and you weren’t sure how long you could last before breaking down.

“Congratulations.” Fred said, keeping his voice low. “You guys win.” You knew he was speaking to your group, but if you had willed yourself to look at him one last time, you would’ve seen he was looking directly at you. He was gone the moment the words left his lips, running upstairs to his room. When you couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore, you felt Hermione putting an arm around you and pulling you into her arms. You allowed her to console you, letting the tears fall freely as Angelina grabbed your hand and Ginny moved behind you to rub your back.

You didn’t feel like you won anything.

***

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576 notes · View notes

tbzhours · 3 years

Text

love notes

sunwoo x you, fluff

[summary] sunwoo realizes he loves you [warning] mention of sex [words] 1.7k [a/n] happy birthday to sunwoo♡! who’s still crying over berry? :’)

You just got home after a long day with Sunwoo, going on a hike for a picnic on the hills and spending time at his place afterwards. Your heart was full, thinking back at how he let you know you were his first during the walk, despite sleeping together a few times already. He wasn’t used to touching you all the time but whenever he touched your shoulder or held your waist, he confessed about how it was turning him on. So he stopped touching you and just followed along the trail with you until you both found a good spot for the picnic.

You weren’t much of a person who feeds others but when Sunwoo reached his fork over to you, you couldn’t help to do the same back at him. Everything he did made your heart flutter and you really love how open he was. He was understanding of your time because he knew you had things to do outside of your dates. He adored that you’re a considerate person as well, being mindful of his study time since he was graduating this year. It was just a matter of weeks before he graduates from college.

Sunwoo was already accepted into law school, a dream of his since young. You could tell because his eyes shined whenever he randomly referenced laws in your conversations. Not that you mind. Passion always flows in the way he is, like the cooking book he brought to the picnic. It was about cooking for two (aka you and him). You found it cute, considering that he was into cooking and that he recently moved out of his friends’ shared apartment to live by himself.

He was excited not only because he could finally have some quiet time to study, but also because you could spend time with him without making too much arrangement around his friends’ time. Despite only dating for two months, this just meant he could explore more things with you, especially your shared interests and of course, in the bedroom.

You knew him from a year ago when you both were working at the same recreation center, monitoring workout rooms together but after you graduated, you hadn’t seen him since. Meeting him again almost a year later at a different building and finally exchanging phone numbers, you didn’t expect him to be interested in you too.

sunwoo: hey i dropped something in your bag before you left 😗

You tilted your head and remembered seeing something unfamiliar in your bag when you left Sunwoo’s place. You set your phone down, haven’t cleaned out the bento boxes from the picnic and pulled out the folded paper from your bag. You sat down on your couch and opened the paper. A card, seeming from a game, slipped out between the folds.

What do you love about your partner?

You looked at the written paper, noticing Sunwoo’s handwriting as your face flushed.

I love their smile, the way they listen to me as I talk. I love how considerate they are, giving me time to do other things that I need to do. I love how open they are when we have sex. I love it when they hold my hand. I love it when they share their world with me, though I might not understand it entirely. I love their good night texts knowing I sleep early. I also love their random 2am texts because it makes me smile when I read them in the morning. I love the pet names they use to call me as. I love many things about them, and their random kisses.

You couldn’t sleep all night, wondering if you had to write one back to him. He was such an old-fashioned type of person. You wondered where he got it from because he likes calling you through the phone, asking permission for things, writing poem-like texts, and just being upfront about what he likes and doesn't like. Again, everything he does made your heart race.

You closed your eyes to calm it. But wait, you hadn’t replied back to him since you read the letter and showered. You rambled off your bed to find your phone. As you checked the time after picking it up from the couch, it wasn’t too late yet. You sighed and finally wrote back.

you: i didn’t even see you put it in my bag! how did you do that? sunwoo: it’s a secret 😚 you: sneaky 😒 you: but ngl it made me smile… i just have a lot of thoughts running through me even though i was blushing too much over your cute handwriting and message sunwoo: thank you, i’m glad i did. that means you’re probably thinking about me you: i am sunwoo: i think about you too you: you sweet thing you: you sleeping soon? sunwoo: yes, as i’m thinking about our next date ❤️ you: i’m excited too~ you: good night, my love ❤️ sunwoo: good night ❤️

“Hey, you’re here.” Sunwoo greeted you when you knocked on his apartment door.

You rushed to his place right after work since your shifts didn’t overlap today. You smiled and greeted him with a hug. You hummed along, smelling his scent. “You changed your cologne.”

“You noticed?” He was surprised, chuckling when you pulled away. You really like his smell and seeing the smile on your face, he figured you might like this one too.

“Yeah.” Your nose crunched close to his in a tease. “I like it.”

“Good.” His smile stayed. “And I missed you.”

You gave Sunwoo a peck before he shut the door and led you into his house. You looked around, as if you hadn’t been here before then you set your things down beside the couch. You followed him into the kitchen and found the cooking book opened with ingredients around it. He was standing in front of you between the counter with his arms angling down to hold the edges of it. His black tee showed his body line, matching along with his curly hair. You couldn’t help to look at those pretty arms. Maybe you should have written that in your letter too.

“So, what’s the chosen menu for tonight?” You asked.

Sunwoo hummed, thinking even though you both had chosen it together through text. He sent pictures of some pages until you both picked a menu. He got all of the ingredients and your request for wine, and when he smiled with those thick lips, he answered, “A menu for two.”

So dinner was made with much laughter from following the steps. The kitchen was a bit messy from your little dances since he had music on. He turned it down when you both settled down to eat and chat about whatever came to mind. He suddenly thought of the time you mentioned about working at a ski resort for the season and suggested that you both go when it gets cold again. You wouldn’t mind teaching him how to ski too, even though you’re still a beginner since being a staff for rentals. He himself was getting into playing the guitar from a friend that he wouldn’t mind teaching you the basics he knew of too. That was something you both had in common: you both love learning.

As your laughs calm through the wine, you remembered keeping his written letter in your bag with yours and wanted to return one back to him. So you stood up after taking too many sips of wine.

“So Sunwoo, you know how you left your letter in my bag last time?” You started. He looked up and hummed, You shyly smiled, “Well, I wrote one back.”

“You did?” Sunwoo was surprised, watching you get up and came back to sit. You slipped the paper to him over the table. He opened it and started to read it. You could see how his eyes shined as they moved from word to word. His breath was calm and his smile was softly formed below those flowery cheeks of his. Once he was done, his breath was heard through his nose. It was hard to look at you when he finished reading your love notes. “Wow, this is so sweet. Thank you for writing back.”

“Do you feel the way I was feeling? Nervous? Blushing like crazy?” You chuckled, your face burning up from his big smile.

“Totally.” He set your paper down, eyes still lingering there as he thought back to his.

“There's one that stayed in my mind since I read it.” You confessed, still smiling as you could see written in your head.

“What is it?” He asked with anticipation.

You didn’t keep him waiting. “Sharing my world with you.”

He smiled, grinning actually. “When I wrote mine, I thought about how much--we haven’t said this to each other before but--how much I love you, and I really do. I love you, a lot.”

Sunwoo said your name after as your fingers fiddled over your thigh.

“I love you too, Sunwoo.” You confessed, then you sighed softly. “And I’ve been thinking about us- you know, like going to the next level from where we’re at.”

“Like being in a serious relationship?”

“Yeah.” You chuckled.

“It’s alright. I want that too.” He shyly smiled down, a soft chuckle following.

You were surprised because you both had only been dating for 2 months and you didn’t expect him to want the same. You both have had conversations about it before but as each day went by, his feelings for you grew and he wanted to love you more. You bloomed a touching smile. “Oh, Sunwoo.”

“We know a lot of things about each other and we know what we want.” He paused. “I would love to be more serious with you.”

“Me too.” You locked your fingers together and held them at your chest in excitement. “I can finally call you my boyfriend, wow.”

“You’re funny.” Sunwoo giggled then he smiled after a deep breath. “So day one, officially?”

“You bet.” You grinned from over the table.

“Bet on who’s going to clean these up?” He tilted his head, face pretending a confused look.

You shook your head with a laugh. “No, we’re doing it together.”

Sunwoo hummed and winked after. “Yep, later. Together.”

#the boyz #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #tbznetwork #deobiwritersnet #sunwoo #tbz imagines #tbz scenarios #fluff #kpop imagines #miss me? yeah me too :(#still working on the love-tri fic!#hope you like this ♡

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smoochkooks · 4 years

Text

—lost stars, part 2 (m.)

⟶ pairing: jeon jungkook/reader

⟶ genre: smut, angst, bits of fluff, (troubled) idol au, childhood friends to lovers

⟶ word count: 20k

⟶ summary: in dead hours of the night he stumbles upon the bars, reaching, searching, trying to feel something, for once forget about consequences and taste the bittersweet freedom. between sips of addiction and faint touches of nameless lovers he finds you again: his own long-lost star on a blackboard sky.

⟶ warnings: explicit sexual content, soft dom!jk but also bit possessive!jk, sub!reader, oral (f receiving), praise kink, jk calling oc his pretty girl, unprotected sex (stay safe kiddos!), creampie, implicit car sex, mentions of infidelity, smoking, both oc and jk are emotional mess sometimes.

✔ read part one here!

a/n: i’m sorry i keep you waiting for so long but it’s finally here. as i promised, by the end of october. this story has a really special place in my heart, i’ve had it in my drafts for over a year now. i hope you’ll enjoy it!

Twenty-two. No, twenty-three. Or maybe it was actually twenty-two? Jungkook starts counting again.

Various, different certificates are aligned on the wall in front of him, every single one dedicated to the same man, sitting across the table with crossed arms and stern expression. It’s rather obvious his ego reaches far beyond the printed sheets of paper with his name written in swirly fonts. They are here just to make an impression, to fool people into believing that the pastel blue shirt he’s wearing and expensive watch on his wrist are the outcome of his hard work.

He opens his mouth to say something, but it doesn’t reach Jungkook’s ears. He starts counting again; this time the number of letters on the first certificate.

“What do you suggest we should do then?”

The man whose achievements in marketing and public relations Jungkook currently attentively analyzes, is Lee Ilsug, or at least that’s what those diplomas indicate. To be honest, Jungkook couldn’t care less about his name or the list of accomplishments that made him be employed here.

He’s new in the company, that’s certain. Jungkook didn’t have to deal with him before but Yoongi had the unpleasantness though, when he needed to deny the rumours going all around the Twitter about his slightly too close friendship with a female singer he had collaborated with.

Quoting Yoongi, Ilsung was pain in the ass.

“The photo is blurry. It’s debatable whether it’s Jungkook-ssi or not.” Another voice, this time female, cuts in. Jungkook remembers her face fleetingly from some PR meeting he had attended before. It looks like she’s now Ilsung’s assistant. “I checked SNS. Fans are on Jungkook’s side, they don’t believe what that girl had written, which is a good situation for us to interfere and release a statement.”

“What do you think, Jungkook?”

It’s Sejin. He was the one who contacted Jungkook about the ruckus in the company that has been going on since morning. The case is simple: on the day he did his walk of shame out of your apartment, he stopped to light up a cigarette that happened to be another one of his cardinal mistakes he’s made in span of 24 hours. What started with getting the temptation and alcohol got better of him and sleeping with you, ended with someone taking a picture of him while smoking.

It’s truly a miracle the photo’s quality is moderately vague. His mom always tells him he was born under the lucky star but for Jungkook it’s more like fate was playing hide and seek with him. This time, he managed to blend into the shadows in time.

Ilsung clicks his tongue. It’s not a secret he hates his job yet cherishes the money he earns. He pushes his thick-rimmed glasses up his nose and leans over the table. He’s close enough for Jungkook to notice the fresh cut from shaving on his cheek and a small, golden cross hanging on his neck.

He raises his brow, eyes trained on Jungkook. Cold, emotionless. Clearly, his ambitions don’t end on dealing with some idol’s reckless shenanigans. “Well? What’s on your mind, Jungkook-ssi? We are ready to release the statement denying rumours about the incident in an hour.”

Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek. “But that will be a lie then. I did smoke, it’s me on that picture.”

Next to him, he hears Sejin clearing his throat uncomfortably. “Jungkook, I know it’s unfair but we can’t let it affect yours or boys’ reputations right now. We are a month before the comeback.” he says and no matter how much he tries to make it sound neutral, pulling the ‘what about the rest of the members?’ card is usually the last straw to bend Jungkook.

Jungkook releases a long sigh at that. He feels unworthy. He let down his brothers again, made them worry about him countless times before and that’s what he offeres in return: disappointment. He cannot risk his bandmates’ good name because of his incautious behavior. They sacrificed too much to be where they are now to lose it over a silly scandal.

“Do what’s best for the team.” he decides after a while.

Once he’s out of the office, his thoughts drift instinctively to you. Do you already know about the mess he created? Do you even search through social media, looking for the updates about him? No, you wouldn’t go there, he tells himself. He’s almost sure. He hopes those revelations won’t ever reach you.

Sejin breaks his chain of thoughts, stepping into the elevator after him. “What were you even doing in that part of the city so early?” he asks, staring at Jungkook’s reflection in the mirror.

“Does it really matter?”

Sejin’s features soften a little. He’s been with them practically since the beginning. Seen their best and worst, always by their side even when the whole world seemed to be against them. Piggybacking Jungkook out of the practice room because he complained about his feet being sore, joking behind the stage about trivial things when no cameras where around. They trusted him. And he’s never stopped believing in them.

“I told you that million times before. You are allowed to lead your life the way you want, Jungkook. I know how you feel, but as a public figure you have to be extremely careful, first and foremost. People don’t forget, nothing ever disappears from the Internet,” he says, or rather repeats the same mantra he’s been telling them since they broke into the mainstream and started being overly recognizable. “I am here to protect you but I won’t be able to do that if you don’t take care of yourself first.”

He places a strong hold on Jungkook’s shoulder and squeezes reassuringly. Jungkook releases a sigh and the door slides open behind them. “Thank you, hyung.”

“Always, Jungkook-ah. I’m feeling like a father of rebel teenager now.” Sejin laughs lightly to clear the heavy atmosphere, making Jungkook snort.

“Hey, I’m twenty-two!”

Sejin ruffles Jungkook’s hair, ignoring younger’s grumbling protests. The walk into the spacious parking lot of the company and Jungkook suddenly stops in his tracks.

“Does Bang already know about this?“ he asks matter-of-factly, although he’s sure what the answer will be. The confirmation he needs comes with a nod from Sejin. “Is he pissed?” he adds then.

Sejin raises his brows, looking down at him. “His golden boy let him down, what do you think? He might not be mad but he’s sure as hell disappointed.” He gestures to his car and Jungkook follows him without a word, imagining his boss’ sour expression next time he sees him. In Bang’s self-made ranking he’s sitting at last place right now probably.

“Want to grab a proper breakfast with me? I’ve been called into the company while I was in bed. I didn’t even have time to finish my coffee.” Sejin offers, pulling Jungkook out of his thoughts.

“Okay.” Jungkook says, hopping in Sejin’s car. “You’re buying?” he asks, mustering a snickering smile even though he’s definitely not in the mood for joking.

Sejin rolls his eyes, fastening his seatbelt. “Don’t you think you own it to me for saving your ass once again?”

“But I’m your rebel teenager kid, remember?” Jungkook pouts. When he sees Sejin hesitating, he opts for another strategy. The one that never fails. “Rock-paper-scissors?”

“Deal.”

Tonight, Jungkook pulls up in front of the club you’re working in with his car. It’s Friday night and he recalls you saying you work here every two weeks. He counted the days three times. There’s no way he made a mistake. He’s sober. And he has no intentions of getting drunk.

You’re surprised when you see him. You haven’t spoken a word for a whole week since he walked out of your apartment. He seems happier when he approaches you, flashing a bunny-toothed smile like nothing ever happened. Maybe he’s good at pretending. That’s exactly what you told him to do - act like the night he stripped you bare and fucked you silly was merely a mirage.

In a way, you’re relieved he makes everything seem ordinary, even though it’s anything but normal.

He waits for you to finish your shift. Tells you he drove here with his car and your eyes involuntarily widen. When you’re standing in front of his black Mercedes Benz, you can’t help but gawk.

“I don’t even want to know how much money this cost.” You take in the all-polished, black glory of his car, muttering “Holy shit” under your breath.

Jungkook chuckles to himself, gesturing for you to get in. You do it without a word, making yourself comfortable on the leather seat. If he manages not to make things awkward, you can do it to, acting as though he isn’t a well-known persona in your country with an addiction for unhealthy lifestyle.

He starts the engine and drives in the direction of your neighborhood, humming to himself the tune playing in radio. It’s awfully domestic, the way he navigates through the streets like he knows them like the back of his hand although you’re aware he’s glancing at his phone once in a while to check the directions. You catch yourself watching him from the corner of your eye with curiosity, biting your lip to suppress the urge to ask him million questions at a minute. Instead, you let him do whatever he has in mind. You can’t ruin this, you remind yourself.

Later that night, you’re sitting in his car in the darkness, parked on the rundown parking lot where no one’s standing expect for you. The only source of light is coming from the single street lamp nearby, illuminating delicately Jungkook’s features in dim, yellowish lighting.

He doesn’t say much. He fumbles with the hem of his jacket almost absentmindedly and you know him well enough to sense there’s something plugging his thoughts. You call his name and he turns his head to the side. It’s too dark for you to spot the tiredness on his beautiful face, too dark to read from his eyes and find all the needed answers in them.

“Is everything alright?” you ask and it sounds awfully loud in a small space of his car. Despite the silent promise you made to yourself about keeping things between you civil, you can’t help but interfere.

Jungkook then whirls on his seat so he can face you fully, flashing you a smile meant to throw all your former worries away. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just wanted to sit with you for a while like that, if you don’t mind.”

If anything, it doesn’t cure your concerns but you shove it to the back of your head for now. Nodding at his words, you fall into the distressing silence. The street lamp nearby goes out and if it wasn’t for the digital dashboard in Jungkook’s car, you would have been surrounded by darkness completely.

Jungkook chuckles under his breath and you follow suit. The sudden change in the atmosphere should be taken as a sign to abandon this damned parking lot and go somewhere else, but he looks like he has other plans in mind. Hearing the soft whisper of your name, you start feeling like it all was meant to happen. Him appearing in front of the club, the lights going out and enabling you to read the true emotions from your faces – it’s all like fate is again playing tricks with you.

You don’t know who moves first, crossing the invisible oceans between you and reaching homeland, but the next thing you feel is his lips on yours.

He tastes like the non-alcoholic beverage he drunk earlier, mixed with faint bitterness of his beloved cigarettes and something akin to mint, yet you’re drowning in it, in him, in the warmth of his breath on your wet lips.

You feel the world spiraling in front of your eyes, despite your soberity. You’re moving automatically; leaning into his touch and accepting the kiss with raw passion, welcoming his tongue in your mouth willingly. It should be alarming how good it feels to have him like this, in your arms, teeth scrapping your neck until you’re writhing in your seat. Breathless, he takes the hint, maneuvering your body until you’re straddling his lap.

It feels dangerously familiar. You know what’s going to happen next, when he unzips your jacket and places his hands underneath your sweater, relishing in the way you shiver at the coldness of his touch. When he sinks his teeth in your neck and withdraws seconds before leaving a blossoming mark. Yet you make no vow to stop him.

From this exact moment, it’s just a blur of hushed whispers, broken moans and quick caresses that leave you yearning for more. Jungkook acts like he knows your body inside and out, thrusting his fingers knuckle-deep into your heat until you’re keening and begging him for more. And he gives it to you with earnest, coaxing you into an orgasm with one last, final flick of his thumb on your sensitive bud.

Jungkook groans when you palm his bulge through the material of his pants, but he’s too desperate to feel your wetness around him to let you tease him any longer. When you sink down onto him, all of your rational thoughts fly away with the breathy moan you let out in unison with his choked gasp.

It’s fast and ragged, chasing the high that it’s both forbidden yet so craved. And it hurts, when tears well in your eyes, when you’re at the brick of pleasure and you know there’s no way in the world you’re going to experience a desire so raw and overwhelming with anyone, ever again. It hurts when Jungkook picks up the pace and fucks into you with ferocity and anger, because the world is unfair and he’s a slave in the system in which freedom means fucking you dirty in his car when it’s dark out.

And he hates it, hates it so much when you unveil in front of him, whimpering his name hoarsely and tightening around his cock deliciously. He swallows every sound you make with his mouth, clenching his teeth because the pleasure is right there, but he needs an extra push to throw himself over the edge. It’s his name on your lips and the whimper of “Inside, please” that finally makes him snap.

Then, there’s only guilt and laboured breaths. In his self-made list of mistakes, you’re aiming for the top.

Grocery shopping has never been your favourite thing to do.

You would never quite enjoy doing it, not due to the constant anxiety of forgetting about buying something even if you make a list of products beforehand, not when you don’t have enough money to buy a little extra than needed (thanks to the dear capitalistic world we live in).

Right now, you’re standing in the middle of an aisle with cereal, trying to look as much casual as possible so people passing by wouldn’t suspect you to be a wanna-be thief. The cause of your distress sits at the very top shelf and there’s no way in hell you’ll manage to snatch that Reese’s Puffs without knocking everything over.

Defeated, you raise your hand to take your second option (good, old Corn Flakes), but a familiar voice coming from the right stops you in tracks.

“Need some help?”

Twirling on your feet, you’re now standing face to face with Kihyun – Minho’s friend from work. Smiling sheepishly, you nod. “I do, actually. Can you pass me these ones, please?”

You feel stupid asking that but fortunately, Kihyun doesn’t seem to mind your awkwardness. You talked to him briefly a few times before thanks to Minho, who took his friendship with him as far as to go on a double date together.

“So, how are you?” Kihyun asks, placing the cereal box in your cart.

“I’m good, thanks. I assume you’ve been also doing well,” He raises his eyebrows at that and you clarify, “Minho told me you got promoted lately. Congrats, chief Yoo.”

“Ah, yeah, thank you,” There’s a tiny bit of pink covering the apples of his cheeks when he waves his hand dismissively at your comment. “But it’s not that big of a deal.”

“I’m sure working in a homicide department is a big deal,” you say. “And I heard it requires some extra shooting training as well.” you add, alluding to what Minho has told you the day you read the message on his phone from someone named Soyeon.

To your surprise, Kihyun furrows his brows in a manner that could only mean he’s confused. “I don’t know what you mean by that.”

Hiding your astonishment with a light laugh, you explain, “Don’t you go to the shooting range with Minho after work? He told me so a while ago.”

Something akin to realization crosses Kihyun’s face. He shakes his head. “Yeah, we went there together once or twice but recently he’s training there our new recruit, Soyeon.”

His words punch you right in the guts. Minho lied to you. He wouldn’t come up with that shitty excuse if he didn’t have something dirtier to hide, right? Maybe you’re exaggerating, but he certainly hasn’t been truly honest with you for a while now. It must be a reason behind his strange behavior.

“Are you okay?”

For a moment you’ve forgotten you’re in the middle of the grocery store with your boyfriend’s friend. Shaking yourself off your unpleasant thoughts, you send Kihyun an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry. I just remembered I need to go to the pharmacist’s and they’re closing soon so I gotta hurry now.” you lie. He doesn’t look like he entirely bought your story but nevertheless, he bids you goodbye.

You leave the store with half-empty shopping bag, raging headache and a torn heart.

They say silence can speak more than any exchanged words.

It hovers in the air, heavy and overwhelming, a tension primed to snap at any moment yet it has never happened before. There’s always quiet, no hushed sentences, half-lies or stuttered confessions leaving quivering lips.

Sometimes you wonder when will you have enough. When will you be able to resist, to say you’re hurting so bad it aches right in your heart, like there are tons of bricks lying on your chest, suppressing your breathing. And maybe this is the night.

A few unread messages on your phone, next one popping up and the screen lights up.

[1:23pm] jungkook:

i need you

It pains, a dull ache and suddenly there isn’t enough air in the room. [1:24pm] jungkook:

please

He never begs. It doesn’t suit him. There is too much pride and power inside him to crawl in front of you, to fall to his knees and plead. Yet, you falter, shaking fingertips typing a quick response. When brain screams fuck you, you don’t deserve me, a sight of him makes all the rational thoughts go to hell.

He stands in your door, slender body leaning against the frame. You haven’t seen him for a while, a week or maybe two. His skin is pale, sheer and delicate you worry it might break if you trail your fingers over it. There are bangs under his bloodshot eyes and you know he had trouble sleeping again. It hurts seeing him like this, beautiful and broken but you’ve always loved picking up the damaged pieces.

He smiles, a lopsided smirk you know oh so well, a dark amusement because here you are, pliant under his gaze, vulnerable under his every command.

“Hello, doll.”

It’s the ‘doll’ that makes you grimace. Nickname he uses only when you’re stripped bare for his liking, bend to his will. It means he’s been drinking. Probably the expensive whiskey you hate the taste of so much when it lingers bitterly on your tongue after each swipe of his mouth against yours. “Will you let me in?” he then asks although he already knows the answer.

It’s cruel of him how he uses your weakness. You hate seeing him like this, hate when he’s thrown apart and you’re the only one who knows how to fix him. That’s why you move away from the door in a silent invitation, biting your lip when you see his slouching posture and unsteady walk.

It hurts when you help him sit on your bed and he smiles at you lazily, in all his beautiful yet broken glory. You almost don’t recognize him. It’s not your Jungkook. Your Jungkook would never drown his misery in alcohol, he would never sit in your room barely conscious, smelling of cheap bars and cigarettes.

But you accept your fate the way it is.

“I need to sober you up a little. I’ll go get you a glass of water, okay?” He hums in response, although you’re worried it might have not reach his ears at all.

Jungkook looks up when your back, accepting the water and drinking it with eagerness. “You’re too good to me, you know that right?” he slurs a little once he’s done. “I don’t deserve you.” he adds after a moment, cupping your cheek with his unoccupied palm.

You squeeze your eyes shut because you fear you might break down in front of him if you look him in the eyes. He strokes your skin, murming “I’m so sorry” all over again.

You stay like that for a few beats of silence, breathing in each other’s presences until you hear Jungkook’s phone buzzing in the pocket of his jacket. Taking it out, you see ‘Jimin-hyung’ written on the screen. “Your friends are worried about you.” you murmur, nudging his side.

“Tell them to go to hell.” You hear him muttering under his breath. Sighing, you decide to exit the room and answer the call.

“Jungkook? Where the fuck are you?!” Jimin’s angered, thick with Busan dialect voice rings in your ears, making you flinch. “You should’ve at least answer my text once so I would know you’re okay!”

Mustering the courage, you take a deep breath and say, “Hi, it’s Y/N speaking. Jungkook’s friend.”

There’s a pause on the other side, until your hear Jimin clearing his throat. “Oh, hi. Is Jungkook maybe with you?” he asks and you smile to yourself involuntarily noticing how his voice has changed once he realised he’s not speaking to his friend.

“He is. Drunk, but in one piece.” you reply, sparing a glance at aforementioned Jungkook who’s now slumped down on your bed, probably fast asleep.

Jimin sighs with relief. “That’s good then. You know, we got into a little fight today and he suddenly disappeared without a trace, and we are right before the comeback so–”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything to me,” you interrupt his rushed rambling. “I’ll take care of him.”

“Thank you, Y/N-ssi. It means a lot.”

‘’I’ve been taking care of his ass practically since we were kids, so it’s not a big deal for me,” you chuckle lightly, even though you’re definetely not in the mood for jokes. “Well, maybe not in that way but still.”

“I know. He told me about you.”

Your eyes widen. “He did?” you ask, failing to hide the surprised tone of your voice.

“Yeah, he did. When he first told us he met his childhood friend accidentally in the club he got drunk in, we didn’t believe him at first. But then he slowly started opening up more about you and even showed me some picture of you and him when you were kids.” Jimin says. “You know, Jungkook hasn’t been himself for quite a while. He kept pushing us away but ever since he met you, he’s started smiling again. Please, promise me you’ll never hurt him.”

You release a shaky breath. “I promise.”

It’s easy to promise such thing. Because you’re for sure going to end up being hurt first.

It’s your alarm that wakes you up the next morning.

The sight of Jungkook is long gone, the only proof he’s been here in your bed last night is an empty glass on your bedside table and a small note written on the napkin.

Thank you for everything. I really don’t deserve you.

Jungkook.

Sheets have gone already cold underneath your fingertips where he laid beside you just hours ago. You didn’t get much sleep the night, watching his beautiful, pale features illuminated by the moonlight slipping through your window. He looked so peaceful with his chapped lips slightly parted and in that moment, you couldn’t think of any reason to hate him and what he’s doing to you.

Later, when you’re finally out of uni, you come home and take a quick shower. It’s Wednesday and Wednesdays are reserved for your small dates with Minho. The guilt you’re feeling while getting dressed and fixing your makeup is eating you from the inside. Staring at yourself in the mirror, you almost don’t recognize the shallow of a girl you’re seeing.

You are not a bad person, you keep reminding yourself, then why did you sleep with him that night? Let him crawl into your bed again and again after?

Minho waits for you outside in his car. He’s taking you to a new Thai restaurant and you manage to hide the frown on your face, because your dear boyfriend forgot you don’t like this type of food.

“You look pretty tonight, babe,” he says once you’re inside, waiting for your orders. You smile at him briefly. “It’s really been a while since we went out together, hasn’t it?”

At that, you nod curtly. It’s true, you haven’t seen each other last week at all. Minho ditched your usual Wednesday date in favor of staying at work for something important. It happened second or third time this month. You feel like you don’t have right to be mad at him. If anything, that’s what you deserve for lying to him behind his back.

The rest of the evening goes smoothly. Your food arrives, you act like you don’t feel nauseous chewing on your pad thai and trying to break out the taste with red wine. Minho babbles about the new Netflix series he’s started watching and you’re pretending to be intrested. Wednesday date at its finest.

Then, when you’re about to pour yourself another glass of wine, Minho stops you with his hand on yours. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something,” You fight an urge to roll your eyes. He wants to discuss serious matters? What a change. “We’ve been together for eight months. My parents keep asking about you.”

“Oh,” you blurt out. To hide your anxiety, you force out a breathy laugh. “So, what about them?” you ask, however you already know what the answer is going to be.

“I thought we could visit them soon in Daegu over some weekend when you don’t have work,” he proposes, squeezing your hand as if to calm your nerves. It’s not doing much to put you at ease. “My mom has already started making plans what food she should make. They’re really excited to meet you.”

You feign a smile. It should be a natural progression for couples to take things at a time, step by step but you can’t help but feel uneasy. Minho wants his parents to meet you, the girl who lets a certain raven-haired boy play with her heart and mess with her head. In a sick game where both parties are out of reach, you’re terribly losing.

“I’d love to meet your parents.” you say finally, almost breathless.

“You don’t look very excited.” Minho comments with a smirk and you know he’s joking but the lump in your throat only grows.

You smile meekly. “I’m just nervous, that’s all. What if they won’t like me?”

“I’m sure they’re gonna love you. You don’t have anything to worry about.” he dismisses your concerns, reaching for the wine bottle to pour himself a glass. “I’ve got one more thing to tell you. I know it’s a lot for one evening but I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it for weeks now so since we have this opportunity now, I’m gonna use it.”

Color drains from your face. What else is there to converse about all of a sudden? Biting the inside of your cheek, you give him a sign to continue.

“I’ll go straight to the point. I want you to move in with me,” The bomb explodes and you nearly drop your wine glass to the floor. “I know it might be a lot for your but I really, really want to see you every day in my bed. My apartment is big enough for both of us but once I get the promotion my boss talked to me about last week, we can look for something fancier.”

You stare at him blankly. First his parents, now this? Minho from the beginning of your relationship was the one who liked to take things slowly. He didn’t kiss you until your third date, he waited unnecessary amount of time to have sex even though you told him over and over again you were more than ready to do it with him.

The sudden rush feels weird. As if sensing your discomfort, Minho clears his throat and asks, “Don’t you want to move in with me?”

You notice the subtle change in his voice, the way he’s not as enthusiastic as he was a minute ago but you shove it to the back of your head. “I’m surprised,” you respond neutraly. “And of course I don’t mind living with you. I just thought you wanted to take things slow.”

Minho clicks his tongue. “This has nothing to do with that. I’m not asking you to marry me, Y/N,” he chuckles but you don’t mirror the sentiment. “I think it would be more comfortable for you to live with me than your current cubby-hole.”

He’s already irritated by your reaction and you know it’s better not to poke the bear but those three glasses of wine down your throat give you enough courage to disagree. “Your place is further from my university and work. Not to mention I have a five minutes long walk to the underground now and it would take longer for me to get there in your area.” you point out.

“You can get a driving license then finally.”

You frown. “What do you mean ‘finally’? You know damn well I can’t afford it now with the job I have and student loan. We talked about it before.”

Minho is aware that with your current financial situation you’re barely making ends meet and you can’t let yourself have another, bigger expenses. But you’re fine on your own, you don’t mind living where you do because that’s the result of your independence. You showed your parents you are able to study and work without their extra help. You’re proud of yourself for that.

“Now you’re literally making excuses. Just say you don’t want to move in.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” you try to reason. “I’m not ready for such a big step yet. I need more time to think about it.”

Minho snorts, rolling his eyes. “What else is there to think about? Either you say yes or no!” His raised tone catches attention from the family sitting nearby and they send curious glances in your direction.

“Stop being so loud, please. We are in a restaurant for God’s sake.” you whisper-shout.

“Do I look like I give a fuck?” he snorts, obnoxious and annoyingly snarky.

You stay quiet for a moment, debating whether you should give up entirely and hang a white flag or wait for the atmosphere to clear on its own. But you’re so, so tired. Tired of being lied to. Tired of always having to choose your words carefully and bending to his will.

“You know, I met Kihyun the other day at grocery store,” Minho doesn’t seem much interested in your inquiry, still deeply frustrated with your tantrum. He simply hums, unfazed. “I congratulated him on his promotion. He for sure needs to visist shooting range more now, doesn’t he?”

Minho arches his brow. “Yeah, I told you he goes there with me and that new recruit.”

It’s ironic, how easily he can lie to you straight in the eye. But you’re strong enough now to fight back. “That’s interesting actually, because Kihyun said something totally different.” you say languidly, watching your boyfriend narrowing his eyes.

“And what is that?”

“He said you’re going there only with your new recruit, Soyeon. The one sending you messages on your private phone.”

Minho gapes at you for a few short seconds and then, bursts into laughter. “What are you trying to insinuate here, honey?” he asks.

The petname sounds mocking this time. Ignoring his lighthearted approach to the situation, you dodge a bullet. “I’m not insinuating anything yet. I just pointed out that you lied to me.”

“Lied? That’s bullishit. I would never lie to you.”

“But you did, Minho. The day I asked you who Soyeon was after reading the message on your phone. You said you’re visiting shooting range with her and Kihyun after work sometimes. Turns out it’s just you and her after all. Isn’t that a lie?” you press.

Minho doesn’t like being backed into the corner. When you confronted him first, he thought he had everything under control. Now, he’s losing it and he isn’t used to being that helpless.

“So what? Maybe I told you that so you wouldn’t freak out and think I’m cheating on you. Because that’s all it is about, right? You think I’m fucking someone behind your back.” he snaps, making you wince.

“I didn’t say that.” you counter but there’s no use for that. You stepped into the lion’s den.

He aprubtly stands up from his chair and the cutlery on your table clutters. “You know what? I’m done. I’m not in the mood for your bullshit anymore.” He withdraws his wallet from the pocket of his jacket and throws a few bills onto the table.

A bitter chuckle escapes your lips. “Your’e leaving? Just like that?”

“Yeah. Are you going with me or not?”

You shrug your shoulders. “I guess someone has to finish this bottle. It would be a shame to waste such expensive wine.” you say, mustering a sarcastic smile.

Minho doesn’t utter anything more to you. He nods and exits the restaurant, leaving you sitting by the table alone. Despite the stares, hushed whispers and an urge to run away and hide from the audience, you stay a little longer and drink up that damned bottle of wine until there’s no droplets left inside.

Once you’re outside, you inhale greedily the fresh air. Your head spins a little and you’re debating whether to take an Uber home or just walk thirty minutes on your own to sober up a little. You choose the latter.

You don’t know what makes you dial his number. You’ve never done that before. He was the one calling you in the middle of the name and begging without words to tend his wounds. Tables have turned, and here you are.

You call once, twice. After the fifth attempt you give up, showing your phone into the pocket of your coat. As the first tear rolls down your cheek, you realise he would never be there to pick up your pieces.

Three missed calls from: Jungkook

[11:11pm] jungkook:

I’m so sorry y/n. I couldn’t pick up the phone cause we had late practice

Please call me back. I’m worried

Two missed calls from: Jungkook

[11:36pm] jungkook:

At least text me if you’re okay

Please

[11:39pm] me:

I’m fine

[11:39pm] jungkook:

Thank God

You sure you don’t wanna talk?

[11:41pm] me:

Maybe next time

[11:41pm] jungkook:

Okay

Night, miss grumpy

You’re sitting in your favourite cafeteria, typing furiously on your laptop the last paragraph in your assignment. Your philosophy proffesor has been a bitch lately, telling you to write essays about the most uninteresting stuff she could possibly think of. And here you are, writing about Hegel’s triads, reminding yourself the semester soon will be over and so will be your mandatory philosophy classes.

Taking a moment to sip on a caramel macchiato you ordered, you notice a message popping up on your lockscreen.

[10:45am] jungkook:

Do you have time now?

I need to tell you sth

It’s been two days since your date with Minho. You’re still mentally flogging yourself for calling Jungkook that night repulsively because of your tipsiness. In that exact moment, he was the only person on your mind you could talk to. Once the fresh air cooled down your emotions, you realised how stupid your idea was.

With slight resistance (and raced heartbeat), you type a response.

[10:46am] me:

I guess

[10:46am] jungkook:

Great. I’m gonna call you now

Eyes widening, you stare at your phone. What is so important that he cannot just text you instead? Not even a minute later, you hear buzzing. Exhaling shakily, you answer it.

“Hi, Miss Grumpy,” Jungkook says and you could tell by the tone of his voice he’s in a good mood. He sounds like the old Jungkook you know well. It’s a pleasant surprise. “What’s up?”

“You called me to ask how am I doing?”

Jungkook chuckles and something inside you flutters hearing that. “And what if I did?”

Rolling your eyes, you respond, “Let’s just say it’s unusual of you. Shouldn’t you be at some dance practice right now?” you ask.

“We just ended a company meeting. And this is exactly the reason why I’m calling you.”

“Should I be scared?”

”Not at all. I’m gonna move straight to the point,” he says and your pulse involuntarily quickens. “Are you free next weekend?”

You bite your lip. There’s a part of you that wants so bad to counter with “What? Do you need a booty call?” but you don’t let your facade break that easily. Instead, you tell the truth. “Yeah, I am.”

“Would you like to go with me to Busan then?”

You nearly spill the coffee onto your laptop. “Oh.” You can’t quite hide the surprise in your voice. You would never expect him to propose you such thing, yet here you are.

It’s been a while since you were home. Not like you don’t want to see your parents, it’s actually the opposite. The reason you haven’t been in Busan for months is simple: you don’t have extra cash on the side to afford a two-way train ticket.

Sensing your bewilderment, Jungkook takes your silence as a sign to explain further his sudden proposition. “Our company gave us few days off to relax before final comeback preparations so I decided I could go home,” It’s what he says and unsure of what to answer with, you only hum in response. “You told me some time ago you haven’t seen your parents since Christmas so I thought you might accompany me.”

Something squeezes in your chest hearing that. You fail to hide the smile creeping on your features and despite the many obstacles that should be a warning sign for you to say no, you find yourself reminiscing in the idea of spending a weekend at home with Jungkook. Just like old times.

“Okay. I agree.”

Upon hearing your response, Jungkook breathes out a sigh of relief to the phone. “I thought you would ditch me.”

“Excuse me? Who do you think I am? I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to eat my mum’s bulgogi.”

You can’t ignore how you’re feeling, cheeks flushed and a silly smile stretching on your lips. But there’s still that bugging thought present at the back of your head, reminding you of your illicit affair and every mistake you’ve made so far. Maybe agreeing to a small trip down childhood memory lane is one of them.

Right now, sitting in a cafeteria and talking on the phone with Jungkook about the details and your mum’s cooking skills, you pretend like you’ve turned back the time and everything else is a mere drawback to deal with later.

“I can’t believe I agreed to do that.”

That, is a blatant lie. You know damn well why you’re standing on the pavement in front of the building you live in as Jungkook pulls up with his high-priced, straight-from-the-salon black Mercedes. Something ignites in your lower stomach at the mere memory of what you’ve done there inside last time.

When he exits the car, you disregard as best as you can the aloof feeling in your chest, seeing him adjusting his bucket hat further down. This is the life he’s living, you remind yourself. If he wants to minimize the risk of people with preying eyes recognizing him.

Dressed in all black, he comes up to you and lifts his head up. That’s when you see him fully for the first time since he stumbled through your drunk and barely conscious. He smiles widely approaching you, not an ounce of uncertainty in his movements when he wraps his arms around you in a bear hug.

“What’s that for?” you mumble.

“Just missed you.”

He smells like the flowery fabric softener you know he likes. It almost lulls you into paying no mind to the thumping of your heart against your ribcage and redness blossoming on your cheeks.

It almost makes you forget he’s not yours, and you will never be his.

You’re the first one to withdraw, stepping away. “You’re such a sap.” It’s the first thing that comes to your mind to say after such intimate moment – twist it into something without depth and meaning you’re so afraid of facing.

He shrugs, still smiling. “I’m just happy we’re going to spend some time together with our families.”

You know he is. Jungkook has always been a family person. Moving out at a ripe age of fourteen paradoxically strengthened the bond he has with his parents and brother.

He picks up your bag from the ground and throws it into the trunk next to his. Getting into the car, you mutter, “You know, I tweet ‘eat the rich’ every two days but you are safe from my hatred for high class as long as you drive my ass with this expensive car to Busan.”

Jungkook chuckles, starting the engine. “Thanks for your kindness, love. Good to know I’m pardoned.”

“Jokes aside, I mean it though. I might want Jeff Bezos to rot in hell but at the same time I think you deserve that money because I know you worked hard to achieve it.” you say, buckling your seatbelt.

He spares you a quick glance and arches his eyebrow. “I didn’t know you are actually a fellow comrade Y/N, Miss Grumpy.”

“Oh, boy. Follow me on my private account. You’ll see then how radical I can get.”

You earn another laugh from him and you find yourself getting more and more comfortable in the situation, sitting in his car and venturing onto a weekend trip to your hometown. The perspective of spending a couple of hours with Jungkook in the same car doesn’t seem to bother you as much as it did the whole week before.

Tapping the unknown rhythm on your thighs, you reach to press what you think might be the radio button. Your aren’t good with modern technology, so you smile triumphantly to yourself, hearing the first tunes blasting from the speakers.

The slow pop-ballad ends and radio host announces next song as ‘fan favorite’. You look out of the window for a short while just to be brought back to the reality by the sound playing in the background. You know this song more than well.

“No. We are not listening to this.” Jungkook reaches to change the radio station with a speed of light, but you swat his hand away.

“Jesus christ, stop being so dramatic. I love Blood Sweat and Tears! It’s a masterpiece.” you protest.

“I thought you don’t listen to our songs.”

You gasp, placing a hand on your chest. “Excuse me? I’ve been to your concert twice, dumbass. And I’m saving up money for another.”

That, is true. You like listening to BTS not because of Jungkook (though he might one of the reasons you fancy them) but it’s their music and message in general. Now, since they’re over their badboy phases and objectifying women in every ‘love song’, you’re fond of them even more.

You start humming Namjoon’s part when Jungkook cuts in. “Okay, then. Who’s your bias?” he asks.

You don’t miss the way he seems to grip the steering wheel tighter. Of course he would be that petty to ask you this. To entertain yourself a little, you quip, “Take a wild guess.”

“It has to be Jimin-hyung.” he says right away.

You shake your head. “Boo. Try again.”

“Namjoon-hyung. You bit your lip when he started rapping his part.”

“That’s bullshit. Namjoon’s hot but not my type. And you should keep your eyes on the road, buddy.” Placing your fingers on his chin, you turn his head away.

Jungkook sighs. “Who is it then?”

“Taehyung.”

Hearing your response, he snorts. “I should’ve known that.”

“And why is that?” you ask, trying to hide your amusement.

“Because he’s the most good looking from us all. He dresses stylishly,” You could tell by the tongue in his cheek you’re irking him right now. Adding to the irony, Taehyung’s part in the song comes blasting from the speakers. “He has a nice, deep voice.” Jungkook adds and before he can name another positive trait of his friend, you chime in.

“Is somebody jealous?”

Though you’re clearly making fun of him, he decides to chuckle like he doesn’t give a fuck anyway. “Jealous? Of Tae? Please. I have no reason to be.”

Smirking to yourself, you find his demeanor too entertaining. “That’s good then. Because I think you’re handsome too. And I love your voice when you sing.” you say, turning your head to the side to observe his reaction.

No matter how much he tries to hide it, clenching his jaw and giving you an eye roll, there’s no use for that. The blush covering his cheeks gives him anyway. His agony ends with one last beat of the song.

Hiding a yawn behind your palm, you lean back onto your seat. Last night you didn’t get as much as you’d like to and your four hours long drive to Busan seems like a great opportunity for a compensatory nap.

Drifting off to sleep, the last thing you remember is Jungkook’s hands on the steering wheel and his soft voice humming the song playing in the radio.

“Hey, sleeping beauty, wake up. We’re almost there.”

Slowly opening your eyes, you’re met with familiar-looking streets of your hometown, Busan. You jerk abruptly, straightening your posture. “Why didn’t you wake me sooner?” you ask, looking to your left at Jungkook.

He shrugs in response. “You looked like you didn’t want to be waken. And trust me, I know what it feels like to be brought back to reality from a good nap too early.”

You don’t dwell on that more. Instead, you look out of the window, greedily drinking in the city. You’re now driving through downtown, passing by shining skyscrapers. Both yours and Jungkook’s houses are situated in a more peaceful area of Busan, closer to the sea. That’s why you spent most of your childhood and teenage days there as long as the weather was merciful.

Spring has always been your favourite time of the year but spring in Busan hits different. You don’t have an occasion to sit by the sea and watch the sky burning in orange and red in Seoul. Here, where you used to grow up, spring is the cherry tree blossoming, your mum planting vegetable seeds in her small garden behind your house, you and Jungkook smoking cigarettes underneath the pier while the sun hides behind the horizon.

“Did you tell your parents you’re coming?” Jungkook’s voice pulls you from your thoughts.

“No, I didn’t. I want it to be a surprise for them.”

“Oh, that’s cute.” he comments curtly and turns right. You’re approximately thirty minutes until you reach your destination. “I need to talk with you about one more thing before we get there.”

You focus your sight on him, however he seems to avoid your eyes. You give him a sign to continue. “Go on.”

Jungkook rubs his forehead with his hand and then sighs. It’s a nervous habit of his, you recognize. “I just want to apologize for causing you so much trouble. Not only last time but in general,” He stops at the red light and cocks his head to the side to look at you. “I acted like a complete dick and you don’t deserve to be treated like that. I’m sorry for everything. I thought this small trip here would be some sort of redemption for me, I don’t know.” The lights turns to orange, then to green and he focuses his eyes on the road again.

Reaching over the gearshift, you place a hand on his thigh to get his attention. When he peeks at you with the same, round, sparkly eyes you’ve grown to adore, all you can do is smile softly. “I’m okay, Kook. If that’s what you need, I don’t mind helping you. If only it means you’ll be okay too.”

Perhaps he notices the sadness in your eyes when you say it. Perhaps he can tell your smile is not the happiest he’s ever seen. If he does, he chooses to stay silent. Instead, he nods. Taking his action as a sight to withdraw, you straighten on your seat.

“There’s one more anything, actually,” Jungkook adds after a while.

“What is it?”

“You’re invited to a party.”

“What party?” you ask, brows furrowed.

‘’We are celebrating Junghyun’s engagement.” he says casually.

Eyes widening, you let out a shocked gasp. “What?! Your brother got engaged?”

Jungkook sends you a look. “Jealous, buttercup?”

You roll your eyes. “I told you I had a crush on your brother when I was ten. It’s been twelve years since then. Twelve!” you exclaim, but he only smirks in response.

The reason you liked Junghyun as a kid was simple: he was your best friend’s older brother. He was just there yet unreachable at the same time.

(And he didn’t have as many pimples as Jungkook.)

But Junghyun getting married? That is a news to you. You clearly remember him telling you one day he would never form a serious relationship before he reaches thirty. Looks like he made up his mind.

“I’m just pleasantly surprised he decided to settle down. Junghyun has always been more of a free soul when it comes to dating. I even remember your mum throwing him a tantrum during barbecue because of this.” you say.

“Honestly, I’m not that shocked. You should’ve seen him looking at Hyerin during our Christmas dinner. This boy is whipped.” Jungkook chuckles.

“Your parents must be happy.” you comment absentmindedly.

He nods, the corners of his mouth stretching in a small smile. “Yeah, they are. They really like Hyerin. And considering they won’t be getting grandchildren anytime soon thanks to my line of work–” he trails off, “–they are even happier that hyung is settling down.”

The air seems heavy now inside Jungkook’s car. He said an obvious thing you were aware of but something aches in your chest at the thought.

You will never understand why there’s so much stigmatization surrounding idols dating other people. Wanting to be loved by someone is a natural, human need. Prohibition won’t magically stop them from catching feelings.

But there’s also another side of the story – the one Jungkook referred to. In his line of work even if there are no obstacles, it’s hard to maintain a long-lasting relationship. And he knows that.

You still remember vividly his first girlfriend. Her name was Eunbi and she was one of their manager’s daughter. Her dad used to take her to the MV sets, introduced her to the boys because she was a fan of them. And that’s how she met Jungkook.

Jungkook, age seventeen, was too shy to hold a proper conversation and keep eye contact with a girl at the same time but somehow, him and Eunbi got along pretty quickly. They shared a sympathy for the same video games and for Jungkook back then it was enough to fall head over heels for her. She was his first kiss as he told you (”First real one, because I don’t count that peck Jisoo gave me in fifth grade as a kiss.”)

After that moment you decided you’d never like Eunbi. Not because you were furiously in love with him, no.

You just didn’t want to see him form such a close bond with anyone else but you.

Their fairytale love story ended when Eunbi’s father found out about their secret randez-vous. Jungkook sulked for a week and then eventually got over Eunbi.

(And he was again texting you about that video game you had no interest in but you pretended to be a good substitute for Eunbi and her nerdiness you lacked.)

“What are you thinking about?”

You’re standing on the red light again. Glancing at Jungkook, you find him staring right back at you. “I’m wondering whether I’m invited to the wedding.” you lie.

“Of course you are. I’m sure hyung is going to do it officially tomorrow,” he answers with a grin. “I think Taehyung is coming too. He loves weddings.”

Narrowing your eyes, you reply with a saccharine sweet voice, “It’s about time you introduce me to your bandmates. Especially Taehyung-oppa.”

“Oppa?”

You bite your lip. There’s no doubt you did that on purpose. You find it rather amusing to see Jungkook so worked up over such a silly thing. You wonder how far you can go before he finally snaps.

Smirking to yourself, shrug your shoulders. “The light’s green. Watch the road, Kookie.”

Jungkook huffs, shaking his head. It’s approximately fifteen minutes until you reach your destination. “I’m sure you will be delighted to meet him.” he says with enough amount of sarcasm for you to know he’s irritated.

“Oh, I will be over the moon.”

“Good.”

“Amazing, even.”

You hope he doesn’t notice you failing to maintain a serious expression.

You moved with your parents to your new house in Busan at the age of eight, two ponytails, overalls and sparkly sneakers every kid wanted to have adoring your small frame, a look of pure concern worrying your childish, chubby features.

It was a quiet neighborhood, on the suburbs of the town, a row of similarly looking terraced buildings and small gardens in front of them, every single one akin to the other. There was nothing distinctive about the area, it screamed dullness and tedium but for years you have grown to call this place home.

You know every corner here inside out. A local grocery store owned by a lovable, elder woman known as Miss Kim, who always has spare candies underneath the counter for children who come to buy something for their parents. Next to the store, there is a florist’s. Your first, high school part-time job. The intense smell of roses makes you nauseous to these days.

There is also your primary school, huge backyard behind it with a run-down playground. You never minded it though, spending there probably too much time for your parents liking. Many memories were made there. First, innocent childish peck placed on your cheek from a 6th grader named Jinyoung. Twisted ankle, tears, pain and regret because you decided to jump off the highest step of the climbing frame one Friday afternoon after classes. A punch to the face of school’s bully Dongin, who called your new pair of Converse trainers ugly.

It was exactly fourteen days before the end of August when you met Jungkook.

You had been living in the new house for almost a month but still felt too insecure to explore the neighborhood. Most of your time you were spending inside, missing your old friends and reading books to distract your attention from the approaching start of the second semester in school.

It was probably one of the last scorching-hot days of the year and you were sitting in your garden alone, family’s cat named Leo purring on your lap, when all of a sudden a ball bounced on the grass right in front of you, landing perfectly at your feet and almost scarring Leo to death.

And then, you looked up and saw him.

A pair of big, black doe-like eyes hidden behind a fringe of onyx hair staring at you through the fence curiously. The boy was not much older than you, probably around your age. He was wearing a striped football t-shirt with some popular team name.

You fidgeted slightly on the pavement where you were sitting, glancing at the boy shyly like you didn’t know why he was looking at you so intensely. You noticed a small scar on his left cheek, his knees were bruised, splashed with dirt just like his sneakers.

“Can you give me my ball?” he asked suddenly, startling you.

Your eyes widened. Of course he would talk to you, you scolded yourself, he wants his ball back.

When you didn’t answer immediately, he continued, “I kicked my ball here by an accident. Can you give it to me?” He pointed at the object lying at your feet.

You nodded and picked up the ball from the ground. You threw it over the fence, so it landed directly on the other side.

“Thanks.” the black-haired boy said. “I’m Jungkook, by the way. What’s your name?”

“___.” you responded and the boy, Jungkook, grinned at you friendly, showing his bunny-like smile. He looked cute.

“Bye, ___! See you tomorrow!” he beamed and headed back to his house.

Tomorrow. He wanted to meet up with you and what? Play football? You were petrified, as the eight-years-old girl should be after hearing such thing from a boy.

And just like he promised, Jungkook visited you the next day. He took you to that playground behind your new primary school. You came home with bruised legs and splotches of dirt on your skirt, to your mother’s dismay.

You also came home with a content grin plastered on your face and a new friend.

Unexpectedly, Jungkook appeared to be a pleasant company and you found yourself enjoying his boyish bickering while fulfilling the rest of the summer break doing things your old friends would consider inappropriate for a girl.

You never thought you could be friends with someone like Jungkook. He was a boy, for God’s sake, and your eight-years-old-barbie-phase-self absolutely despised boys. But months passed quickly and you both found yourselves stuck to each other sides. Something in your relationship simply clicked.

The neighborhood you grew up in isn’t a suburban area but it definitely seems more peaceful than busy streets of downtown. You pass by local church, miss Kim’s store and the big, luxurious house owned my Gwon family you dreamt of living in when you were a kid.

And then, approximately two hundred meters further, there is your house.

“Here we are.” Jungkook says, pulling up at his parent’s driveway. They left the gate open, anticipating their son’s arrival.

Jungkook hands you your belongings, offering you sheepish smile. “I thought that once you unpack and eat dinner, we could go to the beach together,” he says, scratching the back of his head. “Of course, only if you want to.”

You don’t give his proposition a second thought. “I’d love to.”

He grins in response and you take it as a sign to leave and finally meet your parents. From the distance you see your mother in the garden, dressed in her usual clothing – black and red checked shirt and cropped denim pants she wears while gardening.

She doesn’t notice you yet, too busy pulling weeds from her precious tulips. You know her better not to creep behind her like that, so you take a deep breath and shout, “Eomma! It’s me!”

She stands up and twirls around to face you. Her eyes visibly widen, like she actually thought her mind is playing tricks on her and she might have misheard you.

“Good Lord, Y/N, sweetie, is that really you?” She throws away her gloves and jogs up to you, enveloping you immadietly in a bear hug. “I missed you so much. Why didn’t you say anything you’re coming?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” you mumble. “Jungkook took me with him.”

At that, your mother pulls away. She arches her brows. “Jungkookie is home as well?” she asks, earning a nod from you in response. “You’re talking with him again?” Her voice is laced with apparent bewilderment but that’s exactly what you expected her reaction to be like.

Your mother is aware you and Jungkook haven’t been keeping in touch for three long years. She was basically your only source of information about him (besides Twitter) thanks to her close friendship with his parents.

“That’s quite a long story. I will tell you everything later.” you say. Well, maybe not entirely everything. You’re for sure going to miss out the parts you’re not proud of.

Your mother doesn’t press you more about it. Instead, she puts her arm around your shoulders and pulls you to her side. “It’s your lucky day sweetie, because we have your favorite bulgogi for dinner. Honey, come here quick!” she shouts and you chuckle, hearing your father responding with: “What is it again?”.

The door to your house creak open, revealing your flustered dad. His expression morphs into a genuine smile when he spots you. “Is it really my daughter or are my eyes deceiving me?” he asks.

‘’Your eyesight is fine, appa. It’s really me.” You come up and give him a small hug. He was never the affectionate type of parent but once you moved out, he let his facade break a little.

From where you’re standing now, you have a clear view of Jeons’ house. Here, fourteen years ago, sitting on your porch, you met Jungkook for the first time. You see his window upstairs, alligned perfectly with yours. You wonder if he’s already there, inside, unpacking in his blue-painted childhood room.

(What if it isn’t painted blue anymore?)

“Come on, let’s go. You’re probably starving.” your mother says, pulling your mind back to the present.

Walking into your house, all you can think about are his tears-filled eyes when you were bidding him goodbye almost ten years ago in his blue bedroom.

It takes you more or less thirty minutes to reach the bay.

When you were younger, you used to ride there by bikes practically every single day during summer. You loved sitting on the beach and observing people enjoying their time; swimming in the sea, kids building sand castles and their mums trying to relax among childlike chatter and the smell coming from nearby fishmonger’s store.

It was Jungkook who discovered the spot underneath pier. His curiosity only a twelve-year-old can posses led him there one day after school. At first, you were rather reluctant to go and didn’t mirror his excitement but once he actually showed you it, you changed your mind completely.

It was a perfect place to hide from the world. You called it a ‘temple’ because it really felt like no one beside you knew about its existence, and that’s what made it sacred to you. When Jungkook moved away you were left to go there by yourself. Without him, it always felt like it was something missing.

Right now, sitting here feels like you’ve you’ve turned back the time.

It’s like you’re eighteen again, running away from the whole world, starting your own rebellion with a cigarette caught between your lips and sun disappearing behind the horizon. Listening to the songs Jungkooks had saved on his old iPod and catching up with everything that happened during the last few months when he was absent in your life.

When you were eighteen you didn’t even know how to smoke properly, blowing out the fume too quickly and stiffing a cough so Jungkook wouldn’t laugh at you. Now it’s a different story.

Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you notice how much he’s changed physically over these five years that have passed. Gone is the baby fat on his cheeks, replaced with sculpted jawline and prominent nose. His hair is longer, falling on his forehead. There’s more piercings on his ears, an expensive watch wrapped around his wrist.

He looks breathtaking. It never occurred to you before just how beautiful Jungkook really is up close, when there’s no flashing cameras around and make-up covering every imperfection on his face with concealer.

This is your Jungkook. The same one whose competitive nature never let you win any of his computer games, who called you after their debut showcase with quivering voice, who always treated you as his equal even when other boys were making fun of him for being friends with a girl. Your Jungkook, who’s too good for this world to be treated so unfairly.

“I think Minho is cheating on me.” you blurt out.

It’s been sitting on your tongue for weeks and now you finally let the words slip. You don’t see his reaction but from the sharp intake of breath you assume it’s not something he’s expected to hear from you.

“Few weeks ago I read a message on his phone from some girl asking when he will be free next time,” you continue before you could stop yourself. “He’s been meeting with her alone behind my back this whole time and I didn’t notice anything until now.” A pair of arms wrap around your frame. Jungkook presses a fleeting kiss to the crown of your head. “I don’t even know if that’s true or I’m overreacting but I just can’t understand how he can lie to me one day and the next propose to move in with him.”

You don’t realise you’re crying until you feel Jungkook hugging you closer to him. You burry you face into his chest as sob after sob shakes your body. “Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” he whispers, stroking your hair. “I’m here.”

Few minutes pass until you calm down, wiping your tear-stained cheeks with your hand. Jungkook offers you a tissue and you thank him with a small smile. You can only imagine how ridiculous you look right now, with smudges of mascara underneath your eyes and red nose. Not a sight for sore eyes.

“I’m sorry. I just needed to get it off my chest.” you say after a moment.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, Y/N. If you need to talk about it, I’m here for you. I’m still your friend, right?” Jungkook asks, meeting your eyes.

You nod, although he’s anything but friend for you. “Right.”

Because friends don’t console each other with burning touches on bare skin. They don’t give into carnality and submit to pleasure, putting it before everything else.

From the corner of your eye, you see Jungkook’s jaw clenching. “I’m gonna kick his ass when I meet him.”

Before you could stop yourself, you mumble, “He should probably kick yours, too.”

Jungkook visibly stiffens, hearing your words. He avoids your eyes, staring down at his lap instead. You wonder what he’s thinking about now. Does he regret his actions? Do you regret letting it happen? No matter how much you know you did wrong, there’s a part of you longing for more. Because with Jungkook, you felt alive. Minho could never compare.

Reuniting with Jungkook after three years made you realize just how much you needed him back in your life. You actually stopped being mad at him the moment he stood in your room for the first time that night, disheveled and sleepy.

You could love him. Perhaps you’ve always did. But he cannot give you more. Nothing besides bitter-sweet pleasure between the sheets.

It’s Jungkook who speaks first.

“I might not be the best man in the world but I would never, ever hurt you like Minho does,” he says and you know he means it. He stares at you intensely. “You do believe me, right?”

“I do.” you whisper truthfully.

He then leans closer and when you think he might actually kiss you, he places a small peck on your forehead. ‘’Good,” he murmurs, still inches from your lips. “Come on, let’s go. It’s getting late and I can practically hear my mum already complaining she doesn’t have enough time to spend with her son.”

You nod aabsentmindedly at his words.

There’s a tough conversation for you to have once you’ll be back in Seoul again. Finding out about Minho’s lies was a point of no return for you. It made you realise you’ve been on this path with your relationship for a while now, missing signs or not paying enough attention to the details.

But what is even more disturbing to you, is that you didn’t let Jungkook warm your bed out of simple frustration or heartache. You did it because you wanted him. And that thought scares you the most.

The first thing Jungkook hears in the morning when he wakes up is the high-pitched chatter and the clutter of pots coming from the kitchen.

He sighs to himself, staring at his blue ceiling. The clock on his bedside table reads 10am and at this rate, it looks like he won’t be getting any more sleep, not when his mum and soon-to-be sister-in-law are making a fuss downstairs preparing for the party.

The strong smell of homemade food invades his senses as soon as he enters the kitchen. He spots his mum putting something in the oven, her usual red and white polka-dot apron adoring her form. Hyerin is right next to her, busy cutting some vegetables and listening tentatively to her mother-in-law’s babbling.

“Good morning.” Jungkook says in a groggy voice followed by a yawn.

“Morning.” Hyerin quips, flashing him a smile.

Jungkook’s mother barely acknowledges his presence, too busy moving around the kitchen and making sure nothing is burning or overcooking. Feeling the first rumble of his stomach, Jungkook opens the fridge and stares blankly at its contents.

Miss Jeon runs her house by the rule the more, the better when it comes to preparing food for special family occasions. Hence why there’s so many different type of products lined up in front of him, just begging to become a remedy for his empty stomach.

“Nu-uh, don’t even think about it!” she chimes in, closing the fridge in front of Jungkook’s face and crushing his dreams about having egg toasts for breakfast. He stares at her with confused expression. “Order yourself something for breakfast, please. We need kitchen to ourselves right now.”

Knowing better not to argue with his mother, Jungkook sighs in defeat and opens the food delivery app on his phone. He chooses the first option that comes to his mind that won’t take too long to make and slumps down onto the couch.

“Eomma, where’s dad and hyung?” he asks, debating whether to turn on the TV or not. He decides on leaving it silent.

“I sent them to the grocery store. They should be back in two hours,” she responds. “Hyerin-ssi, please make sure to keep an eye on the soup. I’ll be right back!” The door to bathroom slams behind her and Jungkook chuckles under his breath.

“Is she giving you hard time?” he asks Hyerin once he knows his mother cannot hear them.

Hyerin looks up to peek a glance in his direction. “Your mum is a lovely person, really, but she can be… a lot sometimes. Especially when she’s stressed.” she says, smiling coyly.

“Tell me about it.”

She lets out a laugh that quickly dies down when aforementioned woman emerges from the bathroom. Instead of heading straight to the kitchen, she makes her way to Jungkook. “What are you planning to do after breakfast, Jungkookie?”

Jungkook shrugs because honestly, he hasn’t given a thought it yet. “I don’t know. Maybe I can help you with something here.” he proposes, although cutting onions and cabbage is the last thing he would like to do.

Fortunately, the grimace on his mother’s face tells her she’s not quite fond of his proposition. “Oh, no, no, no. We’re perfectly fine on our own with Hyerin-ssi. We don’t need extra pair of hands. Why do you think I told Junghyun to go with dad?” she asks rhetorically with raised eyebrows.

Of course Jungkook knows why. Kitchen is his mother’s kingdom. No one steps a foot there while she prepares food unless she permits it herself. Today she’s even more uncompromising about it because it’s the first time Hyerin parents are meeting Junghyun’s. It’s the matter of making a good impression as the host.

“Maybe you could call Y/N and ask her what her plans are? I’m sure she won’t be very busy.” Jungkook’s mother prompts and he feels like he’s ten again, bored on Saturday and wondering what to do with himself. Then, an idea pops in his mind.

“Yeah. You’re right,” he agrees. “I’ll call her.”

Maybe a literal trip down memory lane is everything he needs to feel like himself again.

As predicted, at first you welcomed his idea with a little bit of qualm, yet you said yes nonetheless.

And now here you are, hanging out together at the playground behind your old primary school. Getting there wasn’t an easy task, it required some parkour abilities and jumping over the fence because the place is apparently being locked on weekends now. Ten years ago it used to be your life estate on Saturdays.

You’re currently sat on a swing, watching Jungkook doing pull ups. You have a nagging suspicion that he chose to go on with his daily workout routine right now on purpose but you’re not better yourself, doing rather poor job at ignoring the way his hoodie rides upwards with every move he makes, revealing his toned abdomen.

“Okay, I’m done.” he grunts, letting go of the bar. He plops down on the other swing next you with a heavy exhale. “How many was it?” he then asks, referring to the number of pull ups you were supposed to keep a track off.

For a moment you forget you’re supposed to answer, eyes focused on Jungkook’s throat as he chugs down the whole water bottle.

“Hmm?” he repeats and you quickly snap out of your trance.

“I lost count.” Truthfully, you didn’t even make an attempt to do so. You were too distracted by the act itself to pay attention to anything else, let alone do basic math. Now you do understand all these girls going crazy when they get a glimpse of his sculpted body.

Jungkook rolls his eyes in response and starts swinging himself back and forth. It you recall correctly, he lost one of his front baby teeth here, jumping off the swing.

“I thought a lot of would change here after so many years. But it looks exactly like I remembered it.” he says, slowing down to a halt.

You nod at his words. Apart from a little painting and renovations done here and there, it’s like it all got stuck in time. You’re about to add that your mother told you the infamous principal Choi is still consistently running the school, but Jungkook doesn’t let you vocalize it.

“Wait,” He stands up suddenly and walks to the seesaw swing. You furrow your brows as he crouches on the ground and attentively observes the object, presumably searching for something. “A-ha! Here it is! I knew it still would be there.” he exclaims excitedly after a few seconds.

Confused, you come up to him. “What are you doing?”

“Look,” he says, pointing at the wooden base of the seesaw. At first glance you don’t notice anything but as you get closer, you see what he meant.

Jinyoung + Y/N = ♡ engraved on the swing.

“Oh my god.” you groan, covering your face in embarrassment.

Jungkook ignores your whining and actually snaps a picture of his finding. “You know what’s actually funny? It was me who did this because you didn’t have enough strength.” He giggles, making your cheeks heat up in bright shade of red. “I stole my dad’s pocket knife for it. Such a shame your love story lasted only a week.”

“I’m not listening to you!” you announce and quickly come back to your previous spot on the swing.

Jungkook doesn’t give up easily though, enjoying tormenting you with your pre-teen love life. He follows you, asking, “Wasn’t he your first kiss as well?” You keep your mouth shut, avoiding his eyes. He then clasps his hands. “Yeah, I remember now. Sixth grade. He kissed you here, am I right?”

You wish you could wipe off that smirk from his face.

“I never liked Jinyoung,” he continues, sitting down next to you on the second swing. “But I always wanted to have that black range rover his dad drove.”

Your face heats up even more at the mere mention of Jinyoung and his dad’s car in one sentence. Jungkook can make fun of your silly crush as much he wants, but he doesn’t know one thing.

That your little infatuation had a sequel.

Taking a deep breath, you lean closer to him and ask, “Wanna know a secret?” He sends you a curious look and nods. You brace yourself for what is about to come. “I lost my virginity at the back of that range rover.”

Jungkook chokes on air. His eyes widen in pure shock and you have to fight an urge to laugh at how ridiculous he looks right now, gaping at you with mouth wide open. “What the fuck, Y/N?! Tell me you’re joking, please.”

You sigh, shaking your head. “I wish but unfortunately, that’s true. We went to the same high school and somehow… our paths crossed together again.” you explain.

“And you decided to fuck him in his dad’s car?”

“No, dumbass. We were dating. For whole six months.”

Jungkook sends you a look. “And you didn’t tell me?”

“It’s not like we were talking back then,” you reply sheepishly, toying with the edge of your sweater. Suddenly it’s hard for you to meet his scrutinizing stare. “You stopped responding to my messages a little before I started dating him.”

The atmosphere between you tenses. Jungkook’s expression morphs from astonishment into guilt and you curse yourself for ruining the mood.

Jinyoung is just a mere memory, one of many mistakes you made during your teen years. He wasn’t anyone special to you anymore, he never had been. Not even when he deflowered you on the backseat of his dad’s car one night after some party. You were too drunk to care and too inexperienced to do more than just lie there and take it. With your skirt hiked up and blouse mid-open, wondering if Jinyoung was just as clueless as you when it came to sex or he simply didn’t know how to pleasure women.

What Jungkook doesn’t have to know, is that you jumped into the relationship with Jinyoung to fill the void your best friend created three years ago with unanswered messages and never returned calls. You were lonely in high school, you couldn’t manage to form a close bond with anyone after Jungkook. You hoped Jinyoung was good enough for a replacement.

“What about you then?” you ask to clear the atmosphere. “I told you my secret, now you reveal me yours.”

To loosen up the tension a bit, you decide to play the quid pro quo card. Partially out of curiosity, but mostly because you feel like you’ve exposed yourself too much in a short period of time. It will only be fair if he gives you the same in return.

Jungkook smiles bashfully. For the person who had done many dirty things to you before, he sure looks shy now. “I was nineteen as well. She was a friend of a friend, four years older than me. We met a party, flirted a little and one thing led to another,” he says, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ve never seen here after that. She tried to contact me but I just… I didn’t want to commit to something more.”

Is he ready for more now? you wonder silently. The question stays at the tip of your tongue though. You can’t wish for more when everything he’s able to provide is a few, quick moments of blissful relief between the sheets when sun goes down.

But what if you want more? What if you’ve always, subconsciously, felt like you belonged together but universe decided to split you apart? What if you’ve always been in love with your best friend?

The realization hits you like a tsunami. All these years, you spent denying your feelings for him. And when there’s a chance for you act on them, you back away.

Because even if he’s now inches from you, he seems out of your reach.

By the time you gulp down your third glass of champagne, Jungkook’s brother’s engagement party is in full swing.

Junghyun and Hyerin didn’t invite many people to celebrate. It’s a small, family gathering. Your parents were invited thanks to the almost twenty-years-long friendship with Jeons, which started when you moved into the new house next to theirs.

Jungkook looks painfully handsome dressed in black suit pants and emerald green button-up shirt. His raven hair is styled the way you like the most, parted in the middle and revealing his forhead. You, on the other hand, are wearing a simple, long-sleeved navy blue dress you’ve had on multiple occasions before but it’s still your top go-to garment when you have nothing else to put on.

“Have I told you look great tonight, buttercup?”

Turning around, you’re met with Junghyun’s smiling face. Of course he would approach you with his childhood nickname for you that used to make your heart flutter.

Besides his hair color, there’s little resemblance between him and Jungkook when it comes to appearance. While Jungkook took a lot after their father, Junghyun is almost a cardboard copy of their mum. Even their characters are two polar opposites. Junghyun is the more outgoing, boisterous type but Jungkook still tends to act introverted towards strangers.

And paradoxically, it’s the younger brother who’s making a career in entertainment industry.

“Shouldn’t you be complementing your fiancée instead?” you ask, accepting another glass of Martini Junghyun hands you.

“As you can see, she’s busy being interrogated by my mother.”

From the corner of your eye, you see Hyerin nodding along to whatever miss Jeon is telling her right now, expressively gesturing. It’s her brand to do so. Your father says that she talks with her mouth and hands simultaneously.

“I’m sure Hyerin-ssi went through it already when they were preparing food together earlier today.” you joke.

Junghyun chuckles, having a seat next to you. He sends quick, supportive thumbs-up to to his girlfriend when she glances at him from the spot she occupies on the couch. You can’t help but coo at the sight.

“So,” you quip, “when’s the wedding?”

“Next year in August,” Junghyun answers. “You’re obviously invited as well.”

You smirk around the champagne glass. “I wouldn’t miss seeing my childhood crush getting married.”

Junghyun laughs at that, throwing his head back. After a moment he adds, “It’s funny though, how you were gushing over me when the boy who had heart eyes for you was right under your nose.”

You arch a brow. “You mean Jungkook? He had a crush on me?”

“If course he did. You were the only girl who talked to him and moreover, you always helped him with his homework and you know how bad he was at algebra,” Junghyun says, sending you a knowing look. That much is true. Jungkook did suck at Math and could not, for crying out loud, interact with girls. “If he could, he would’ve taken you with him to Seoul all those years ago.”

Your eyes involuntarily drift to aforementioned boy, standing with his father in the kitchen. They are looking at something your dad is showing them on his phone, probably pictures of the car he recently renovated.

(A classic Chevrolet Camaro 1969. For all you know it looked like Damon’s car in Vampire Diaries.)

You can see Jungkook’s eyes growing big as he stares down at the screen. Obviously, he’s genuinely amazed with what he sees. You can only hope your dad won’t try persuading him to sell his luxurious Mercedes and buy something vintage instead.

“Why didn’t ever tell me that?” you ask, your voice quivery. You take another gulp of your drink to soothe the emotions bubbling in your chest and you barely succeed.

Junghyun shrugs his shoulders in response. “Would it change anything? You were thirteen-year-old kids back then and he was moving out to another city to make his big dream come true.”

Pursing your lips, you nod. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

You don’t know exactly what Jungkook feels for you right now. Back when you were teenagers, it was just a fleeting attraction. Perhaps he thought about you this way because you were a girl who liked spending time with him.

“I know him giving up your friendship was a dick move but you have to believe me that this boy has been really lost these past three years. Now he’s trying to find himself again, to become a better version of himself,” Junghyun remarks. “He needs his best friend to help him do so.”

Turning once again to look at Jungkook, you catch him staring right back at you. He flashes a cheeky grin and completely fails winking at you. You’re lips automatically stretch into a smile seeing his goofiness. You like that side of him. It suits him.

“I think I need to go save my fiancee from my mother.” Junghyun whispers, catching you off guard. He follows your line of sight and smirks to himself. “Go talk to him. I’m sure your dad wouldn’t mind snatching Jungkook for a bit.” Unlike his younger brother, he lands a perfect wink.

Like beckoned, Jungkook approaches you when Junghyun leaves the table. “Aren’t you a little sad he’s getting married, buttercup?” It’s the first thing that night he says to you.

Fighting an urge to snort, you ask, “Aren’t you tired of being jealous I chose Junghyun-oppa as the object of my affection and not you when we were kids?”

Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek, manifesting his irritation. You relish in it even more now, having the knowledge he used to pin after you. He ignores your witty retort though completely.

“Want to get out of here for a while?”

Your heart skips a beat. “Where?” you blurt out, looking around the room for any place comfortable for you to stay in for a while.

“Isn’t it obvious?” When you raise your brows in question he adds, “To your house, of course.”

“But–”

He shooshes you with a finger on his lips. “No buts, Miss Grumpy. It’s been ages since I’ve been in your room. Do you still have that Edward Cullen’s poster above your bed?” he asks and this time, you actually land a punch to his arm.

Downing the rest of your champagne, you get up from the chair. “Shall we?”

“Ladies first.”

“I still can’t understand why did you really hang a poster of some pale dude above your bed.”

You’re climbing up the stairs to your room, and Jungkook is in the middle of his rant about Why Twilight Has Ever Been A Thing. You’re ten seconds from pointing out his teenage female crushes one by one, starting with IU just to rile him up.

“It’s just weird for me,” he huffs upon taking one last step to the top.

You whip your head to send him a glare. “Do you really want me to say the same thing about your fans worshipping your posters?” you ask, eyes narrowed. “You’re out of their reach just like Edward Cullen was out of mine when I was fourteen.”

He points his finger at you. “But he’s a fictional vampire and I’m real.”

“Exactly!”

You leave him with that, eyebrows scrunched in confusion, and open the door to your room.

“So you did get rid of him after all.”

Nothing really much changed in your childhood room since you moved out four years ago. Your walls are still painted in lavender but the posters are long gone, much to Jungkook’s dismay. There is a bookshelf with all your favorite positions (Twilight included) standing directly next to the desk which is now pearl white, just like the rest of your furniture.

Before you can say anything, Jungkook plops down onto your bed. “You still got them though,” he murmurs and you glance in his direction, waiting for him to elaborate on what he means. He raises his finger to the ceiling. “Those yellow stars that shine when it’s dark. You have the same in your apartment in Seoul.”

“Oh, yeah,” you awkwardly reply, looking up. “I put them there so I can have something reminding me of home.”

Truth to be told, you are a sentimental person. The very best evidence of your heart’s weakness is the corkboard with old photos in your apartment. As cheesy as it might sound, it gives you a sense of comfort.

Jungkook hums at that and pats the spot next to him with his hand. “Come lay with me.” he proposes.

“Why?” you ask, although you sit down on the bed anyway.

“Because I want you to,” he grumbles and places his palm on your stomach, pushing you to lay flat. “There you go.”

It reminds you of old days, how you used to lay down with him like that on your bed and just do nothing, simply staring at the constellations on your ceiling in silence or speaking about trivial things.

Life was much easier back then, when there was no cameras flashing around and capturing every move your best friend makes. When you were just two kids with head full of dreams and dragging on forever doing your Chemistry homework. When you were each other’s beginning and end, yin and yang, sun and moon and the starry sky above you.

It slips off your tongue eventually, what have you been meaning to ask him since the beginning of your illicit affair. And now it seems like you’ve finally reached the point of no return. “What are we, Jungkook?”

You turn your head to the side, staring at his right profile. His chiseled jawline, black lashes ghosting the skin of your cheeks. He opens his eyes slowly, focusing his sight on you but you quickly look away.

“You know damn well that we aren’t just friends anymore. Maybe we’ve never been,” You sit up straight from your position, finally gaining enough courage to face the matter. “You can’t play with my emotions like that and expect me not to catch any feelings for you. You’re confusing me so much, Jungkook. I don’t think I can go on like that any more.”

You feel his palm on the small of your back, comforting and bringing you a brief wave of solace. He follows suit, getting up from his position as well. “Look at me,” he murmurs and you jerk your head to the side. You don’t want him to see you like this again - vulnerable and exposed. “Please, ___.”

It’s his pleading voice that makes you succumb to his request. Hesitantly, you accept his touch on your cheek and meet his doe eyes, two black charcoals shining in the dim lighting of your childhood room. He has the same look in them as you saw the first time he kissed you. If the teeth worrying his bottom lip are anything to go by, you could mistake it for nervousness.

“I shouldn’t feel that way about you,” Jungkook finally says. “I shouldn’t wake up with an urge to text you because if I didn’t, my day would be incomplete. I shouldn’t picture us doing mundane things like cooking ramen in your apartment or picking you up from work,” he recites, voice laced with an emotion you can’t quite put the name on. Or maybe you do.

It’s longing.

“I shouldn’t imagine us being together because I can’t give you all of these things, ___.” Lone tear slides down your cheek and he catches it with his thumb. “I’m so, so sorry.”

You’re shaking your head, because no, he shouldn’t apologize for the world’s unfairness, for wanting to have more of you, of freedom. “Jungkook–” you start but he’s quick to interrupt you.

“I told you this before and I’m repeating it now: you deserve so much better than what I can give you, ___.”

He tries to distance himself, to back away and leave because that’s what he’s a master of but you beat him to it, extending your index finger and poking him right in the middle of his chest. “Now you listen to me, Jeon Jungkook,” you urge, not caring about your tear-strained cheeks and shaky voice. “I’m a very stubborn person, and you know that. If I wanted to leave you, I would’ve kicked you out of my apartment the day your drunk ass stormed back into my life.”

He smiles sheepishly, putting a strand of hair behind your ear. “And why didn’t you do that?” he asks, his palm not leaving your cheek.

“Because more than anything, I’ve never stopped caring about you,” It’s almost a whisper. “No matter how hurt I was, I couldn’t let you slip away from my reach again.”

And then he’s leaning even closer, lips almost touching yours yet it feels like it’s not enough. It’ll never be. “___,” he murmurs your name softly, breath smelling of champagne hot on your skin. You feel dizzy, drunk on him. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

You both know it’s a white lie, that as soon as you’re back in Seoul the reality will brutally kick you in but you let yourself for a moment indulge in this fantasy – that you’re his and he’s yours. You’re on the opposite sides of the spectrum, yet you cannot be separated.

And you need to hear him say it.

“Promise?”

Jungkook seals it with a kiss, the one that leaves you breathless and pliant in his arms, blindly reaching for him and pulling him closer with your hands on his neck. “Promise.” he whispers, eyes trained on yours.

For now, it has to be enough.

Then, as if he can’t hold himself back any longer, he dives in for more, hands finding purchase on your hips. He’s tugging you closer until you’re perched on top of his thighs, feeling the hard flesh flexing underneath your weight. It feels familiar; that funny, pulsing sensation building up in your core when he swipes his tongue over your bottom lip to meet yours. It makes you tangle your fingers in his black locks and pull, just to hear him groan into your mouth.

But there’s another pressing matter on your mind and before you can go any further, you’re pulling away from his lips with a light smack. Jungkook doesn’t take the hint though, anchoring your hips over his crotch.

“Wait,” you mumble in between kisses, biting down the moan that almost tears from your throat when he uses the grip on your body to grind down on him. “What about the party? What if parents will come home and–”

“Shhh,” He silents you with a peck on your quivery lips. “They won’t. The party has barely started. And even if they do come home, you’ll just have to be quiet, right?” Something about his tone makes you nibble on your bottom lip to suppress a whimper. He sees it, and leans down to kiss your throat. “Can you do that for me, baby?”

“Mhm,” you mewl, angling your neck to give him more access. He sucks a mark right above your sternum and it almost distracts you from asking him one more thing. “Jungkook,”

He licks a stripe up the column of your throat and looks at you, lips shining with saliva. “What is this?”

Despite the urge to kiss him stupid right here and there, you cup his cheeks and repeat the same question that led you to this very moment. “What are we?”

Jungkook looks like a living sin with his blown out pupils and disheveled hair yet his gaze is nothing less than affectionate. He brings one of your hands to his lips and places a kiss on your knuckles. “Whatever you want us to be,” he responds, sincere. “You know I never give up without trying.”

You nod, a small smile dancing on your features. “I know.”

He captures your mouth in another kiss, like he’s trying to prove his statement with actions; sucking, biting, kneading your supple flesh just right. Suddenly there’s too many clothes separating you and your fingers grip his silk shirt in faint attempt to satisfy your yearning to feel him fully.

As if reading your mind, Jungkook stops mid-decorating your neck with yet another red mark. “Get up and take off your dress for me, baby.” he says, all soft but still demanding enough to make your knees wobble. As much as you love the dominant side of him, you’re enjoying this new-found softness of his.

You comply to his request in an instant, raising from his lap to a standing position. Your fingers travel to your backside and pull the zipper down. Your dress falls on the floor with light thud, leaving you in your underwear. It’s matching but not your best pick nonetheless; simple black lace bra and cotton panties. Jungkook doesn’t seem to mind though, two antsy hands gently pulling you closer to him until you’re in between his thighs.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, leaning down to press a feathery kiss on your belly. You let out a shaky sigh, trying to avert your gaze away from his burning stare but he destroys your attempt. “Don’t shy away from me now.” A squeeze to your hip is a warning. You give in, looking down just to see him smirking right back at you.

“I won’t if you take off your clothes as well.” you challenge despite your trembling voice.

He gets up, towering over your figure. “Undress me then.” Your shaky fingers reach for the buttons, opening one by one. He watches your movements attentively, lets you run your palms over his broad chest. His silky shirt joins your dress on the floor as you fumble with his belt buckle.

There’s something intimate about this moment. It’s not the first time you’re seeing each other naked yet everything feels new, unchartered. You’re exploring each other again, mapping your bodies with subtle touches and observant eyes.

Jungkook strips off his slacks, steps off his shoes along with socks. He sends you a cheeky grin. “Now we’re even.” He swallows your giggle with his mouth, not wasting any more time and pressing you against his body.

You moan when you feel his erection touching your hip. He uses it as an opportunity to slither his tongue inside, each experienced lick making it hard for you to follow his tempo. You go lax in his hold, letting him snap your bra open. He maneuvers your body until you’re laying on your back and he’s straddling your waist.

“So pretty,” he marvels, palms caressing your breasts. Your nipples harden under his ministrations, breathy moan escaping your lips when he pinches them. “Such a pretty baby.” he repeats, lost in touching every part of you he can reach.

Jungkook peppers kisses on your belly, hands travelling to your thighs. He leans to kiss you on your panty-clad mound. You mewl at the sensation, unconsciously sliding your legs wide open and giving him more access to your center. “Can I eat you out?” he asks, continuing mouthing over your pussy. When you don’t answer him in time, he slaps your thigh in reprimand. ‘’Hmm?”

“Please,” you whimper, mind send into overdrive. Minho rarely went down on you and you almost forgot how good it feels to have someone’s mouth on you.

Jungkook grasps your underwear and pulls it down your legs, revealing your dripping pussy to his hungry eyes. His breath tickles your folds, sheets grasped tightly between your fingers. Jungkook kitten-licks your pulsing clit, eyes trained on your face to see every small reaction he emits from you.

“Jungkook,” you keen, hips rising to chase after his mouth.

He nibbles on your thigh playfully, flashing you a sly smile. “What do you want, doll?”

It’s the ‘doll’ that makes you whine pitifully at him. He relishes in it, sucking your clit into his mouth as an apology for his teasing. You whimper, “Please, I want more. Give me more.”

‘’Demanding, are we?” he snorts but complies anyway. No matter how much he loves hearing you beg, he enjoys eating you out more. He covers you your pussy with his mouth, tongue swiping over your sensitive numb. He licks up clean your soaking slit, not missing a single drop of your pearly arousal.

He groans at the taste and throws your legs over his shoulders. He pulls you even closer to him until his face is burried between thighs. Your fingers wander to his hair on their own accord, threading into his silky strands. After a harsh suck he abuses your clit with, you pull. It spurs him on even more, a groan mouthed against your pussy causing even more slick to drip down your opening.

“Tell me how good it feels.” he mumbles, glancing up at your face. You focus your sight on him, his chin is shining with translucent substance, hair tangled and sweaty against his forehead.

“So good,” you mewl.

“Yeah? That good?” Jungkook asks, tone almost mocking. You’re now only nodding in response, your cunt pulsing with a need to release. “Can you cum for me like this, baby?” he mouths along your folds.

“Please, please,” You’re nearly crying, tears pricking in the corners because the pleasure is too much to bear. Your clit throbs, eyes rolling to the back of your head. “Oh my god–Kook!”

“Good girl,” He rewards you with two slender fingers pushing inside your pussy, searching for that one stop that makes your insides flutter. “My pretty baby, tastes so sweet for me.” he rasps before licking a stripe up your cunt.

His digits slide even deeper into you. It sounds sinfully wet but you don’t care, accepting whatever he gives you. And give does he, plunging his fingers repeatedly inside and flicking his tongue against your bud – a perfect symphony to finally send you over the edge.

“There you go,” he murmurs, feeling your walls tightening around his fingers. More juices leak out of your hole and he drinks them up eagerly. “My pretty girl doing so good for me.”

He prolongs your orgasm until you stop him with a breathy whimper of, “’m sensitive.”

Jungkook gets up to hover over your shaking body. He opens your mouth with a deep, wet kiss. You taste your arousal on his tongue, feeling no longer foreign and eliciting a moan out of you. His length presses against your hip, hard and straining his briefs. With a surge of boldness you reach down, rolling his underwear off his body. His cock slaps against his abdomen, curved tip leaking precum.

Nibbling on your bottom lip you watch as his hand encloses around his member, giving it a few pumps. He groans, head thrown back. Your eyes focus on the sweat dripping down his sculpted body all the way from his neck down his chest. Jungkook is a sight for sore eyes– slim waist, toned thighs. Everything about him is mesmerizing.

He settles between your legs, cock prodding at your folds. “You sure?” he asks, searching for your eyes.

You don’t answer him verbally this time and he doesn’t press about it. Instead you open your legs even wider, a small smile dancing on your features as you nod. You’re welcoming the stretch with a drawn out moan. He pushes himself inside slowly, until he’s flushed against your pelvis, his neatly trimmed pubic hair tickling your skin.

“Fuck,” he curses, hands coming up to grip your sides so tightly you’re sure they’ll leave fingertip bruises. “You’re so perfect, baby. Made for me.” He leans to press a kiss on your mouth, tongue lazily lacing with yours. It’s messy, saliva trickling down your chin but you don’t care, reciprocating with vigor.

Jungkook pulls away and places one last peck on your cheek. “Ready?” he murmurs.

You couldn’t be more than. “Ready.”

He picks up the pace, blindly reaching for your legs to make you encircle his waist. You’ve never fucked in this position before, with him so close to your face you could practically taste the sweat dripping off his body on your lips. He relishes in having you like this, palms caressing every square inch of your flesh.

‘’God, I missed having you like this, doll,” he grunts. He props his hand next to your head and it gives him leverage to hammer himself faster into your cunt. “Do you like how I’m fucking you?” he asks and you keen in response. He doesn’t seem to be satisfy with your reaction. “Too fucked out to speak?” You hear him chuckling evily into your ear.

“Shit, Jungkook,” you whimper, throwing your hands over his neck. His skin his hot and slippery under your touch. He rams himself even harder into you, hips never losing the rhythm. You feel the pressure building up in your abdomen already, reducing you to mewling mess underneath him. “I-I love it. So, so much.” you stammer out.

“Yeah?” he prompts, fingers slipping down your belly to toy with your clit. “Love how my cock is fucking you?”

“Yes, yes–fuck,” you chant. “So good.”

He loses himself in you, in the way how tight you feel around his cock. He tells you this, spits filthy obscenities into your ear and punctuates it with deep strokes inside you. He wants to have you like this forever, keep you to himself and hide from the whole world.

It’s selfish of him to think that way but he can’t help it, not when you’re moaning so pretty when he tightens his grip on your waist and rails you harder into the mattress. Not when you’re there when he needs you, when you’re his lifeboat bringing him back to the land (sanity).

He wants to see you smile for him, because of him. Wants to call you his. And that’s what he asks you to, begs in stranded voice. “Say you’re mine,” You’re shaking your head, tears threatening to spill from your eyes but he needs to hear you say it even if it’ll be just this once. “Please, tell me you’re mine, ___.”

Your whole body shudders from pleasure. You open your quivery lips but nothing comes out of it except for a broken whimper of his name. “J-jungkook–”

“Please,” he pleads once again, entangling your hands from around his neck and pinning them over your head instead. “Say nobody will ever make you feel this way. Fuck you until you cry,” he continues, fingers circling your nub with ferocity. “Fucking say it!”

You sob, pleasure rippling through your body and throwing you off the edge. “I’m yours,” you whisper hoarsly, staring into his dark orbs. “Yours, yours, yours!” you repeat, creaming his cock with your release.

“Fuck,” Jungkook groans and you don’t know it’s because of your confession or your walls constracting around his member. Maybe it’s the mixture of both. “You’re mine just like I’m yours.” he spits as the orgasm approaches him, shuddering through his whole body. He comes with a call of your name, spilling himself inside.

You whimper at the sensation, your arousal mixing with his and dripping from your hole. Jungkook lets go of your wrists, pressing a peck on each of them. His palm cups your cheek and he leans down to kiss you. It’s lazy, your mouths barely moving but it feels good anyway.

He’s in the middle of pulling his softening cock out of your core when you hear your mum’s voice.

“___, honey, are you here?” She’s downstairs, approximately forty-five seconds from reaching your room.

Jungkook sends you a panicked look. “Go lock my door!” you hiss.

He obliges quickly, naked butt jogging across the room to twist the key. You can’t help but giggle as he tiptoes to the bed again. He puts a hand over your mouth and murmurs, “Shhh, be quiet.”

Your mum’s heels clink on the stairs. Few seconds later she’s knocking on your door. “___, are you there?” she asks. You’re praying she won’t twist the handle because in that case you’ll have a lot of awkward explaining to do. Fortunately, she gives up. “I guess they went for a walk.”

By ‘they’ she means you and Jungkook who’s currently stifling a laugh against your shoulder. “Well, maybe not for a walk but something equally energy-draining.” he whispers. You elbow him in the stomach, making him chuckle even harder.

When you hear the door to your house closing, you let out a breath of relief. “I knew fucking in my childhood bedroom wasn’t a good idea.”

Jungkook smirks. “You sure about that?” he teases, squeezing your hip. It makes you roll your eyes but you don’t hide the smile on your face afterwards anyway.

Jungkook reaches for your panties and rolls you onto your back, carefully cleaning you up and then himself. He tucks you beneath the covers, encircling your body with his arm. You relish in the heat radiating of him, pressing your cheek right where his heart beats.

“You’ve never told me what would be my biography’s title.” Jungkook says after a moment.

You smile to yourself, fingertips drawing patterns on his skin absentmindedly. “I’d call it ‘Lost Star’.” you answer.

“Because I’m a troublesome celebrity?” he chuckles and you shake your head.

“Well, of course you can interpret it like that but for me it has more of a metaphorical sense,” you explain. “You’re a star, like those on the sky, which got lost and came to Earth instead. That’s why you’re so special. Because you’re out of this world.”

“I’m no special,” Jungkook grumbles, pouting.

You sit up from your position to look him in the eyes. “You’re wrong, Jeon Jungkook. And I think I’m not the only person who thinks the same,” you urge. He meets your gaze and you realise how young he looks right now. Young and boyish. “You make thousands of people smile because of your music. That’s a special ability to me.”

He flashes you a small smile. “I’ve never thanked you for believing in me from the very beginning.” he says, cupping your cheek in his palm.

“Always.”

You drift off to sleep with his voice humming softly in your ears.

[4 months later]

“Bangtan Sonyeondan are currently at the Incheon International Airport, leaving for their upcoming world tour. Their first show will be held this Saturday in Los Angeles and–”

You walk into the living room and sit on the sofa, staring at the pictures Korean press took of Jungkook and his bandmates while they were departing to US. They are dressed in their casual clothing and you know the fans are going to freak out seeing Jungkook’s hair has gotten long enough to tie it in a man bun. You’re almost sure the news have already spread on Twitter.

The TV is too big for your liking but Jungkook insisted on buying it anyway. You can almost see the pimple on his cheek he woke up with this morning. It makes you smile involuntarily.

Rest of the design in his–now yours as well– apartment was mainly your idea. He bought it without telling you because he knew you would freak out. And you did, obviously, call him crazy. But he didn’t mind. Told you he needed a space for himself for a very long time and now he has someone to share it with.

The house feels empty without him. It’s too spacious for one person and when he’s not around, you feel like intruder. But you’ve put on your big girl shoes this morning after a passionate round of love making and teary-eyed goodbyes. You won’t slip them off until he will come home to you in two months.

He promised he would show you Paris and London. You know he will keep that promise, although you aren’t sure you’ll be able to make it with your new job. After breaking up with Minho, Jungkook encouraged you to try sending your drafts to different publishing companies. And one of them responded positively.

You check your phone–your smiling face meeting you on the lockscreen. Jungkook’s smooching your cheek, but prying eyes wouldn’t be able to tell it’s him from that angle. His last text message is from fifteen minutes ago.

[5:55pm] jungkook:

We’re departing in 20 minutes

I’m missing you already so much:(

You reply, although he’s probably fast asleep like he always does during flying.

[6:01pm] me:

Miss u too!!

And you mean it. You’re missing him when he’s at his dance practice, when he’s in the studio. But it has to be enough for now.

The dates he takes you for have to be in the confines of your apartment. You can’t go for a walk and hold his hand or kiss him in public. He said you needed to wait for the tour to end to discuss publicly announcing your relationship. You’re wondering what’s better: forever hiding or being judged for every step you take.

You’re a strong girl, he once told you. And you’ll continue being one. For the two teenagres on the beach smiling to the camera in the framed photo next to your TV.

However long it takes.

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