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#another thing off the to do checklist
salamispots · 4 months
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gift/commission for a relative, 15"x20"
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ominous-feychild · 3 months
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Guys I literally JUST realized a thing about my autism/masking/alexithymia. I noticed there was an alexithymia tag here on tumblr and when I investigated, there was this one post listing these symptoms:
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and I just--
I've had these exact, MAJOR struggles through my whole life for one.
But for two, and what's really interesting in my opinion...
Yesterday, I was having a video call with my mom. I've been off of some medications that I'm supposed to be taking because of financial issues, so my mental is NOT in a great place and I've had NO spoons for the past month. But while on call with her, she seriously, unironically, asked me if I thought I really needed the meds. Because, apparently, I "wasn't acting like I needed them" or something like that. And I'm sure I don't need to explain why that pissed me tf off.
But, like... at the time, the closest thing I could come up with for an answer was that "I have no spoons and no energy to do anything"; "I lived 17 years without meds, I kind-of know how to fake it"; and "I haven't had much socializing lately, so I have enough Social Energy™ to fake being okay right now."
Now that I'm not being put on the spot and after reading that post, I'm slowly figuring out that I've always done this. I mean, I've obviously always struggled to describe my own emotions and need to analyze my physical reactions to figure them out, but like. I'm just now starting to realize that I've really struggled to describe exactly how I'm "feeling bad" or, in fact, that I am feeling bad at all.
I mean, again, considering the alexithymia, that last part is a given. But it's kinda putting into perspective exactly how I've always had to understand "I don't have the energy to do anything" or "it's incredibly difficult to do anything" or "something deep inside of me feels Wrong™ and I can neither address nor identify it". I'd just passively have those "feelings" and struggle to continue life despite them.
It brings back thoughts of my struggles with masking, and how I was never diagnosed with autism as a child. Looking back, it should've been incredibly obvious. I had SO many of the tell-tale signs. But I guess it wasn't today, and there wasn't anywhere near as much awareness of what those signs were... but really. Textbook.
I'm sure my masking made it more difficult to recognize the signs as I got older. Hell, I even read over different "autism diagnosis checklist"s countless times, thinking to myself "oh wow it's a lot like me!... exceeeeeptttt--" and moved on from there.
I keep digressing. My point is, since discovering my autism and how it was hidden by masking, I've always wondered where my mask ends and where I begin. Most of the time, I feel like I feel nothing, even when I'm not depressed. I've been told I don't show my emotions, like when I'm happy (aka my chest is light and I feel free). That, or people can't tell when I like/dislike them (though that's partially a trauma thing). Other times, I've been told I'm smiling when I didn't even realize I was happy, much less that I was actually smiling. Some people have told me I'm incredibly easy to read, that my emotions show very clearly. But how can they when I feel like I feel nothing?
Which leads me back to what I said earlier, my conversation with my mother. How she asked if I actually need my meds because "I don't seem like I do". I guess I kind-of understand now, why she might've seen it that way. Do most people always show signs of how they actually feel? And how does the fact that I "don't feel" effect what I show?
I've wondered about that for a while. How much of how I act is because I was trained to, one way or another? How much of the emotion I show is because I learned to? Do I even show the emotions I feel? I really can't know because the people I know irl, who would better be able to tell me how I act, aren't understanding of any of these things. My older sister is lowkey ableist and thinks she sees the grand plan of the universe, my mother is too "pull yourself up by the bootstraps!!!" to accept Spoon Theory or mental health struggles, and just about everyone else in my life comes and goes as quickly as the wind.
Anyhow, this was a long rant that I've kinda had half-formed thoughts about for a while. Thanks for reading, hopefully this can help or entertain whoever stumbles upon this?
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simple-sheep · 3 months
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I genuinely think people would have a better time with stuff of they just stopped holding everything to super high and impossible expectations and then get disappointed when this very-specific-thing-they-wanted didn't happen.
Like just enjoy the ride. Go in with "imma have a good time" and amazingly you'll probably have a good time and if not it'll be a better time than if you didn't.
Be here now.
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robinsroom · 1 year
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i love the feeling of looking at code and realizing i was overlooking something really...really....reallly..........really....simple.
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eccentricwritingbaby · 3 months
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baby finn series, preparations
lando norris x mom!wife!reader
series masterlist
summary - lando and y/n begin their quest to prepare for their baby on the way, while their first baby is just happy to be included. 
masterlist
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-
“baby? do you have everything?” you called out to your three year old, attempting to teach him some independence with his attire, yet regretting it instantly. finn walked into your view wearing a bright red ferrari t shirt, purple shorts, mismatched socks, and a papaya mclaren baseball cap to top off the look. 
“well don’t you look dashing?” your husband laughs out from behind you towards his son. 
“tank you, dada!” finn happily screeches back, “i pick it by myself!”
“you did?!” lando fakes his surprise to the young boy, holding his chest and raising his eyebrows for the emphasis, “you’re such a big boy, finn!”
“i am! i big like you dada!” finn jumps at the praise and begins to clap, excited by the attention and thrill of being compared to his father. you couldn’t help but join in on the laughs and allow finn to go out as he was dressed, even though you really wanted him to be a bit more coordinated - you couldn’t be bothered with the day ahead of you. 
you and lando were preparing the nursery today, and the first stop was shopping. although you had the large items such as the crib and changing station from finn, you wanted this baby to also have newer items and ones that were their own. especially since after finn grew out of most of his things, lando had just donated them in order to clear up space in the home. 
there was also another reason - the sex of the baby. you and lando had found out yesterday, and wanted a fresh nursery. 
-
yesterday - doctor’s office
you were lying back in the chair, gown on and ready for your ultrasound. lando’s hand had not left yours since getting out of the car on the way in. his grip was tight, as was your own. you were both riddled with nerves to find out the gender today. 
“i’m so excited,” you squeak out in a whisper to your husband, giggles filling your voice due to the butterflies filling your stomach. 
“me too, y/n. i hope it’s a girl,” he breathes out, joining in your quiet laughter, attempting to tame the nerves. 
“i think it will be, i had a dream two nights ago with a pink nursery in it,” you relay back to him, lando just stares back at you with a wide smile, a hand coming up slowly to stroke your stomach. 
-
and it was a girl. a strong, healthy girl the doctor said would be the size of a bell pepper at five months along. you and lando were absolutely giddy for the shopping trip and so was finn. to welcome little baby girl norris into this world in a few months was all the buzz in the home. finn was absolutely raving about having a little sister as you and your husband were so happy he was taking it well. 
“alright norris family, time to go!” lando calls out from the front door, “let’s go!” 
“i coming! i coming!” finn yells out, wobbling out of his room and towards lando’s legs. he stops an inch before the crash into them, but not without losing his balance and tumbling into your husband’s sturdy hold. not trusted by his own two feet anymore, he’s now perched on lando’s hip as you walk towards the door. 
“i think i’ve got everything,” you sigh out, looking into your bag one last time. 
“snacks?” lando asks, to begin your routine of a verbal checklist ever since your baby brain had kicked in. 
“goldfish and pretzels,” you reply, hearing a quiet ‘yay’ with a clap from your first-born. 
“wallet?”
“yes,”
“keys,”
“you have those,”
“right, wipes?”
“yes, i think it’s all here,”
“okay, we can always stop back if we need anything,” lando assures you as he pulls you closer for a quick kiss to the lips, “now let’s go if we want to get back a bit early,”
“right, right,” you move to kiss your son’s head and give him a quick tickle, “we’ve gotta go before dada’s in a mood, right baby?” finn giggles at your antics as lando rolls his eyes with a laugh, pushing his family out of the door. 
-
“momma! this one!” finn yells out into the store, leading you to turn around and see what he was presenting you with. 
“oh, honey,” you chuckle in amusement, “lan, look what our lovely son wants to purchase for our daughter,” you grab lando’s attention and he just groans beside you.
“really, finn? ferrari merch for my daughter too?” lando playfully scolds his son as finn just pushes the little red onesie closer to your filled up cart, “nuh uh, back it up mister,” lando grabs the onesie from finn and places it back on the rack, instead trading it for a certain papaya one. 
“is that better for you and your ego, lan?” you ask with a laugh, poking his stomach to tease him further.
“i can handle finn being a fan, but this baby? she’s gonna be full on papaya,” he swats your hand away with a chuckle and scoops his son into his arms, “no more ferrari for baby girl, got it?” lando waves a warning finger in front of finn’s face, but his son just gurgles in happiness at his dad’s attention, continuously trying to grab hold of his hand. 
“alright norris boys,” you announce to the two, “i think we have enough clothes and toys for baby girl until she’s four so let’s get going,” happy cheers erupt from the duo as you head to pay for your items. 
-
your little growing family arrived home close to dinner time, you carrying two babies and a diaper bag as your husband dragged the multiple large bags of purchased items into your home. 
“do you want to just throw those all into the nursery and we can sort it all tomorrow, lan?” you ask in his direction as you gently drop your son to his feet. with finn’s newfound freedom, he immediately runs over to his playmat in the living room, beginning the fairytale escapades of a three year old and a large amount of toy cars. 
“yes, love,” lando answers your question and heads towards the nursery, but not without placing a kiss to your awaiting lips. 
“i’m gonna get started on dinner,” you call back towards your husband as he starts towards the nursery.
“spaghetti?” your husband suggests with his signature puppy dog eyes.
“‘pageti!” his young twin cries out from the opposite direction, clapping his hands together for strong emphasis on his dinner choice.
“alright, spaghetti it is,” you giggle in amusement, “easier for me anyways,” you whisper the last part to yourself as you head into the kitchen and begin preparations. 
-
shit. you think to yourself as you turn uncomfortably in bed. who forgot to close the curtains last night? as you think, the culprit himself opens them further and you groan at the blinding light cascading throughout your bedroom. 
“lannnn,”
“i know, baby,” he laughs at you, proceeding to walk over towards you in bed, “but we have so much to do today in the nursery,”
“love, i know you’re excited to get this done,” as you look at him through squinted eyes, he takes a seat next to your horizontal frame, “but we do have four more months,”
“i know that,” lando begins, reaching his hand towards you to move your bed head out of your face, “but love, i’ve wanted to do all of this since you were seven weeks pregnant,”
“okay, fine,” you groan as he silently cheers, “help me up though,” he laughs, reaching both his hands around your body and lifting with ease. once stood on your own two feet after a few goodmorning kisses from lando, you head to the bathroom in order to wash up.
“our other baby will be up soon, so let’s knock out as much as we can before interruptions, yeah?” lando suggests as you start to brush your teeth. you simply nod in his direction and he happily runs over to give you a kiss on the forehead, “i’ll be in the nursery, come join me once  you’re done,” with a light tap on the bum and one more kiss to the top of your head, your giddy husband races out of the room. 
“it’s just you and me baby girl,” you caress your bump as you whisper to her, “we live in a house of crazy boys,” you laugh quietly to yourself at the memories, “but we all cannot wait to meet you,”
-
a/n - pls pls comment some baby girl names you'd enjoy to see! next couple chapters and she's hereee
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deadsetobsessions · 5 months
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Woo! I’ve finally got time to write! Had to go to a wedding, suffered through eight whole hours of pure disorganized mess, and got mad about it. Emphasis on the disorganized part. So, I bring you: party planner!Danny Phantom.
——
If anyone was to see him now, they’d definitely think that it was odd that Danny was the one in the party planning field. They wouldn’t be surprised if it was Jazz, but Danny ‘wing it’ Fenton planning things? Never.
But here he was, clipboard in hand and checking off hors d’œuvres from the list.
“Anton, could you do a check of the sound system? Make sure everything’s working?”
“Got it.”
Danny lifted the buffet table, laden with heavy food, and used a bit of his ghostly strength to move it over.
“Perfect.”
He double checked the seating chart, and readjusted the miniature ice sculpture centerpieces he made for the party.
Wayne Manor was all lit up and perfectly dusted. Danny ran through his mental checklist. Tabled? Check. Dance floor clean and scuff free? Check. DJ booth and open bar running without issues? Check. Live band setting up with back up instruments and strings? Check. Decorations on point? Oh, he’ll have to get the team to readjust those.
Time to check-
“Danny! How’s it going?” Bruce Wayne beamed and slung an arm around his shoulder.
Danny smiled politely. “Mr. Wayne. Everything is going smoothly. Would you like to check the food the chefs have made?”
“Sure, sure! I definitely need to eat before I drink, haha!”
“That’s a good idea! Good thing you’re about to try a bunch of food.” Danny matched the billionaire’s energy. He’s going to get paid so good.
“So, Danny, are you going to college?”
Danny passed him a small sampler. “Ah, I can’t. Some stuff happened in high school and I don’t really have the grades or the money to.”
Plus, his credentials were in another plane of existence and he hadn’t figured out how to transfer those records yet.
“You could still attend college, I’m sure! Your parents might be able to help pay?” Bruce nommed on the food. He gave a thumbs up.
Danny sighed. “It’s not always an option. Plus, my parents are dead.”
In this universe. His own? Alive and kicking GIW ass.
“Oh, I see-”
“Father.”
“Woah!” Danny blinked, looking down at the baby Wayne the popped up next to his father’s elbow.
“Damian! What’s wrong, kiddo?”
Damian shot his father a flat glare and dragged the laughing billionaire away.
Danny snorted and returned to his tasks. He has to check the speeches and the lighting. Hm… he doesn’t have time to adjust everything how he wants it.
Good thing he knew a guy that could stop time.
“Hey, Clockwork?”
——
“Father, I understand your inclination towards adopting poor black haired and blue eyed orphans, but I would like to remind you that I have far too many siblings to be adding yet another bumbling buffoon.”
“I was not considering that, Damian.”
Damian let go of his wrist with a grimace. “Denial is not becoming of a Wayne, Father.”
“Yeah, B. I could see you grab the adoption papers from all the way over here.” Tim adjusted his tie. “Anyways, Dick is on his way. He’s running a little late because of some stuff in Blüdhaven.”
“Thank you, Tim.”
——
“Batman.”
“Oracle.”
“Look at the footage of Wayne manor.” Oracle pulled up the video surveillance scattered through out the manor. Specifically, the ones of the west ballroom. Daniel Fenton stood in his spot, looking down at his clipboard but a second later, he's moved three inches to the left and the decorations had subtly been moved more aesthetic spots. "I think Danny might be a meta. We'll have to look into him."
Batman stood up, allowing the fondness he had for Danny as Bruce Wayne drain away. This is a potential threat, and Batman will treat him like one. (Danny will remember this.)
"Contact Flash. I need him to scan for any temporal disturbance."
"Understood."
——
"Brucie!" A socialite squealed as she came to bestow hugs upon a long suffering Bruce. "My god, this place is gorgeous! You must give me your planner's number. I could absolutely use some fresh eyes for the Annual Spring Party."
"Awe, Janine! I gotta keep some of the good things to myself!" Bruce whined, inwardly smirking as he saw his kids mock-gagging behind the lady's back. "What if your party's cooler than mine? What should I do then? You're already so gorgeous! Why, is that a Birkin?"
Janine lit up and all but forgot about getting Danny's contact information. Bruce patted his own back for a job well done, even if he had to listen to Janine's itemized list of random luxury goods she had to buy before being offered a bag.
He's a Wayne. The Gotham Hermes wished they could partner with the Waynes. Plus, he's pretty sure he's got at least three of those bags somewhere in the manor to bait out Selina.
Catching Danny sliding in between the servers and going towards the kitchen, Bruce quickly excused himself with a disarming himbo grin.
Time to subtly grill the kid.
——
"Hey, Timmy?"
"Hello, Dick," Tim smiled elegantly at the couple who's companies he was about to bring six feet underground and excused himself. "What's up?"
"Have you noticed that the ice sculptures haven't melted at all?"
Tim blinked, eyes sliding over to a harried Danny being followed by Bruce on a mission. Oof.
"Freeze?" He asked mildly, face innocent of any nefarious thoughts.
"That's what I'm thinking." Dick smiled sunnily, throwing an arm around Tim's shoulders.
"Heard the guy's living out near Crime Alley. We should get Jay to check it out." Tim pretended to laugh, grinning as his brains made plans for a stakeout.
"Heard, my ass. You totally stalked him, didn't you?"
"Got proof?"
Dick snorted, removing his arm. "Nope. I'll let Jay know. You should probably help Danny out, though, he looks like he's about to lose his temper."
"Bruce is at it again." Tim sighed. "Yeah, okay."
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pinkcharmette · 17 days
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𝜗𝜚 my extensive morning routine - for the girlies who need their alone time ,, especially before a hectic day ++ free printable !!
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drink water
this is an absolute game-changer ! bonus if its warm or room temperature, really gets the metabolism going as well as soothes your throat !!
make your bed
this makes my room look MUCH neater, and gives me peace of mind + incentive not to get back under the covers and doze off again TT
meditation
another thing that calms me down greatly and gets me focused and set for the day, i really recommend lavendaire, her meditations are top-tier and she has several lengths to pick from
morning yoga
debloat yoga or stretching is a must for me, it helps aid my digestion as well as reduce bloating in the morning.
exercise
i like to do either shirlyn kim, april han, chloe ting or momomi workouts in the morning ending with a hinafit's full body stretch that's twenty minutes long. i use chloe ting's workouts as cardio mostly and then a set of targeted hiit from momomi and relaxing pilates from shirlyn kim and april han.
i am also trying to go on walks in the morning as well TT
skincare + dental care
my skincare routine in the morning is cleanser + toner + hydrogel + sunscreen + matte sunstick + lip balm and my dental care routine is herbal toothpaste + fluoride toothpaste + mouthwash. i wash my hands between and before/after steps.
shower routine
i use a pumice stone and sugar scrub in the shower to exfoliate along w baby soap and shower gel to clean up. i apply three layers of moisturizer + coconut oil on getting out !!
reading
in the mornings, i like to either annotate classics or read my weekly self-help book or just read educational nonfiction and take notes in my commonplace journal about them.
journalling
i fill out five affirmations, five things i'm grateful for as well as my intentions for the day. i also write down what would make my day great, as well as habits to focus on (at least three)
planning
i plan w/ my planners, notebook and wall calendar spread as well as notion and a habit app, as well as google sheets.
that wraps up this post, and here is the printable checklist spanning four days
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jjongswannabebae · 3 months
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Marriage of convenience (18+) < rich!jay x rich!fem!reader, hurt/comfort fic, lots of making out, kissing, arguments, angst, smut 18+, a lot of tears. note: first time writing smut- not proofread!! MDNI, please reblog >
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Not that you minded, being set up with on a date on a mundane Wednesday wasn't on your checklist. Considering skipping it, you drawled the process of making small talk with some random geek who had cash.
Ugh. Being the only daughter of a rich man had its own plight.
"Jude, Can't I skip today's appointment with Mr. P?" You complain to your manager, Jude shirt for Judith. She keeps her eyes in the road, save for a glance, only opening her mouth,
"Do you even know who you're meeting?"
You nod profusely, "another rich kid with attitude," you finish, staring bored out the car window, watching the way birds fly, free of restraint. How you wished to live to like that.
Money can go far but you couldn't get freedom with said money.
"Well, hate to break it to you, this guy, "Mr. Park" is different,"
"You always say that," you drawl a whine puffing up your cheeks with air. "I'll stake some money if makes you happy"
Money? You had plenty but jude wasn't someone who'd set losing bets. Curious, you beam to accept her bet, having a spike in your mood.
Jude dropped you off at the posh cafe your date had scheduled to meet. Wondering who exactly this man was, convincing enough to get the stingy jude to bet bills.
Surely, he would be anything but disappointing.
Oh and how right you were.
He stood leaning back on the counter, decked in a neatly ironed silk shirt stretched across his defined shoulders, shirt buttoned down with his chest slightly exposed, sleek formal pants running down his legs loosely hung off his waist.
Okay, you admit he had great fashion sense but what about his face?
Sunglasses decked his perfect slicked jet hair, gaunt face with a killer jawline, brown eyes sharp and lips small yet kissable, ears pierced, vieny arms folded to his chest.
Jude won the bet the moment you locked eyes with him.
He was absolutely beautiful and you'd experienced what you thought was love at first sight.
He drew a smile and walked closer animatedly. Shit. Your feet were frozen to the ground as your lips parted with surprise. He stuck his hand out, "nice to meet you, I'm park jay" he offered, politely. Yet your mind and actions faltered and were a heartbeat late on grabbing onto his hand.
The rest was history. Married a year and a half later, nobody could predict the marriage would be this loveless and stagnant. Not that the public knew.
Jay Park. Hier to the one and only park estate, leading hotel series bringing wads of cash. Along with your own established wealth from your dad's company, which you assumed you'd be taking over soon.
But those dreams were crushed when jay came home with the news that a merger would take place, a year after your marriage.
Now all that you had to do was stay at home and look after him and the kids. But wait.
What kids? A loveless marriage was one thing but a sexless one was unheard of.
Yet intercourse was the only intimacy you shared with him. Hes perfect in every aspect yet incapable of affection, you'd deemed a year into the relationship.
Any show of affection like cuddling or spending time you'd initiate would fall flat or would be denied, or worst yet he'd never be there for you to initiate it. Work, home, sleep, eat. That's all he did and that's why it was all the worse.
He acted like you were invisible except the days he came home drunk and fucked you senseless. You'd consent to that but it felt meaningless, like a repeated one night stand yet you lived with the guy and were married to him.
So when your parents haunted you with the pressure of having children, you'd burst into tears upon your arrival home. You hated the fact you were so shallow and unlovable to the one man you swore to.
You ignored the pressure from your parents to have a child yet the tension mounted.
You and jay were to eat lunch with his parents and then came the infamous line, "I would love to see my grandchildren anytime soon," said Mrs. Park nonchalantly and you swear you saw jays left brow twitch. It hurt.
There was nothing wrong with you, or him for any matter. Just that your marriage never even felt like one to begin with.
"So soon?" Jay questioned, setting down his fork to the plate. You could his temple crease ever so slightly. You'd observed the man sitting next to you for a long time when he'd be with you was when he would sleep. You'd spend countless hours staring at his beautiful face, yearning for his attention, and even more far fetched, his love.
"it'll be two years soon, son" replied Mr. Park giving a stern glare towards his son, eyes flickering over you momentarily before they returned to his plate yet again.
Worthless. That was the look in mr parks eyes. He'd probably thought how hard it'd be to seduce his son, or rather get him into bed.
You sat wordless in the car, watching out the window as you did the time Jude dropped you off him to meet him for the first time. Jay sat beside you, facing the window as well. Rain poured heavy, matching your gloomy vibe from the happenings at lunch with the parks. Right, you were a Park.
Love at first sight was real when you met jay for the first time. Yet he never reciprocated anything you felt.
Tears welled in your eyes, threatening to spill yet you held them back with all your might. Not here, not infront of jay. Never had you cried when he was present. It was unnerving to see his expressionless face watch you cry.
Yet your thoughts only grew worse and before you knew it, a tear fled from your eye and a sob broke from your mouth. It was hard, feeling unwanted and isolated all the time. Those emotions flew out like a river, gaining the attention of your husband.
"you okay?" He spoke softly, like you'd shatter if he spoke any louder, and at that you sobbed harder till you broke down weeping in the car as the driver flicked his eyes to the back seat repeatedly, wondering what commotion was taking place.
Jay asked the driver to drop you two off at their hotel, and the tyres swerved to the right, soon infront the entrance. Jay urged you to calm down and get down the vehicle. You complied and wiped your tears away, standing there as the cold wind hit your face. Yet again you felt like crying.
Jay grabbed you by the hand and tried to haul you inside as fast as possible, but you slapped his hand away, "I'll take myself there," His eyebrow twitched and raised, leaning closer to your ear to whisper, "there're eyes on us, the paparazzi is right here so just get inside," he seethed through his teeth.
At his words you panned your head around, merely for jay to put his arms to your knees and neck and pick you up and head for the roundabout back entrance. Absolutely stunned that he lifted you up with no struggle, you watched him maneuver with your mouth slightly parted.
On the elevator to the largest suite, accessible by family, you asked to let down. "No," he replied, keeping his eyes on the doors of the elevator. You didn't protest further and cozied up to his chest. He took three strides to the door and whipped it open and peered inside.
He let you down and trapped you to the door, his forehead pressing against yours. His breathing was erratic, his eyes showed emotion. *What's wrong," he let out in between exasperated breaths.
And the tears came again.
"Everything," you quip and wiping away you erratic tears with the back of your hand, leveraging your weight in the door to stand up straighter and look him dead set in his eyes.
"Do you even know anything about me? What I like to do, what I like to eat, what's my favourite color... Do you even love the person you're married too?"
He opens his mouth devoid of swords, eyes guilty shoulders heavy of burden. "You like to dance, you like spicy food, and your favourite color is," he starts small, working his mind through all the things he knew about you, "purple?"
"blue,"
"oh."
"what was the name of the dog I had when I was younger?"
Silence.
"Bruno," you answer, disappointment filling your being as you stare the guilt stricken man facing you. "At this rate you probably never felt anything for me, let alone love." He leaned his head to the door behind you, keeping his hand to your shoulder and whispering to your ear, "do you know why I've been distant with you?"
"if what you mean by distant is ignoring my every attempt and instant of me trying to express my emotions to you in the past two years, then, no. Probably except the fact you don't like me but needed someone to fill in the position of your wife." You huff, letting your true feelings show, the pack of interaction between you two hurt you a lot more than you thought.
"Perhaps your criteria was to find someone smart but quiet, pretty but not attention seeking and lastly a nice body would be a plus point, I suppose," you finish, one hand settling on his nape and the other his back. You keep your eyes trained on his, batting them ever so often so you wouldn't cry with word you uttered.
At first, jay showed no signs of response except guilt, then his face contorted to confusion and lastly to anger. The crease on his forehead from burying his eyebrows downward as he almost glared at you with a fire lit in his eyes.
"So you think I'm using you," he says, and you nod, solely for him to sneer and pull back from your hold, stepping closer and claiming you up the door as he swung his arm round your waist and one hand to your face, tilting it upto him, and dipping his head down to your eye level. Your lips were mere centimetres apart from collision. Eyeing your lips he grazed his thumb past your lips.
"You talk like you know the whole story, darling. It's not a good habit to make assumptions," he said drawing a line down your lips, his finger slipping past making a small smacking sound
"well then what's your reasoning to leaving me devoid of affection? Before you say you sent gifts, I know your assistant picked them, the clothes he sent were chosen with little to no fashion sense, whereas you have an exceptional dressing style so don't say you bought me those items, darling." You muse replicate his fiery response with sass.
He watches you with contemplating whether to tell or not. "We were only supposed to be married for a year." He starts slow, taking in your facials, watching as your eyes widened and practically urged him to continue. "The merger wasn't going to happen, you were supposed to take over," he said calmly, knowing how much of a touchy subject this was to you, having prepared your whole life to head the company and ultimately not being able too.
"But the results shown over the one year we were meant tobe together showed immensely worthy and the merger took place, therefore nullifying our one year marriage,"
Like rains drops now fell from the sky, the sunny days his behind the clouds like your tears behind your eyelids. Jay couldn't bare to see you look so vulnerable. He felt as though he was the cause for these misunderstandings, which he was not completely but partly.
"I, I never signed any contract,"
"It wasn't meant to be signed by us, it was unanimous decision,"
"So now they want us to act like a couple? Do they even know how hurt I felt to be ignored for a year, how it felt to feel unwanted and unlovable?" A stray tear strolled down your cheeks as anger creeped up your voice. It was unfathomable to you, to be lied to by your own parents, and possibly jay too.
"Had you known we'd last for only a year?"
"...yes" he paused, waiting for the information to sink into you, hoping it wouldn't shatter you more. Your head spun in circles as you struggled to get away from him, pushing as his chest as tears streamed down your face, brushing past him to sit on the couch to relieve your dizziness.
You sat there and cried while jay watched you unwind into a tears, unsure of what to do. 'I didn't want to fall for you, because I'd have to leave eventually but I couldn't stop myself from catching feelings when I was around you. I decided it would be best for me not to be there for you and I'm aware of my mistake here... But apologizing won't make the hurt and damage you faced go away. You're free to take your call, whether it may be divorce or not, and don't worry about our parents, I'll handle them."
You panned your head up at the word divorce, shifting to your feet and striding over to jay, where he stood previously, stuck in place. You faced and a loud smacked echoed across the room, his head turned 180 degrees, his cheek red with the strike of your palm.
"Atleast tell me you'll love me now, asshole,"
He put a palm to his cheek, running the area you struck him, watching your tear dried somber face, more threatening to brim out the ledge. "I'm sorry." He apologized, hanging his head low with shame and guilt.
"One thing you've never done to me," eyes conveying different sorts of emotions, "is kiss me."
He looked rather surprised at the observation, "I knew if I kissed you, there'd be no going back, both mentally and physically."
"Jay weve fucked before for hours yet you never kissed me once, didn't you think I'd find it strange? And when were you going to tell me about this whole one year marriage clause being nullified, meaning we'd spend the rest of our lives together part? Not that I didn't think we'd spend our whole lives together but I guess we thought different."
"I was planning to, but the time was never right, so..."
You turned your back to him and walked to the suites bedroom and to the bathroom, jay following behind slowly. Splashing water to your face and drying it off, seeing an awkward jay hanging around in the tension of the air. "Sit," you ordered, pointing to the ledge of the bed. Confused, he still complied, comfying himself on the edge of the bed.
"Good,"you commented, hiking up on the bed and onto jays lap to his surprise, situating yourself atop of him, staring back down to his glasses over pupils, red and swollen from the lack of sleep and fatigue. "Are you tired, darling" this time saying the nickname endearingly. "Not really,"
"then kiss me,"
Flustered by your demand, he began stuttering, "Are you sure? Like really?" You nodded along, "yes,"
"then I guess I could," he became nervous, but built up the the courage to put his hand to the back of head and slowly press down in it till your lips met his. The motion started out awkward, then jay relaxed after a few seconds or so and found a rhythm you could match.
The dynamic of the intensified as jay began settling into reality that he was kissing his wife. Swiveling his tongue around yours he began tasting every corner of your mouth, exploring every inch. You attempted to pull away due to lack of air but he held you back your hair aggressively tugging to his lapping tongue.
You moaned his mouth, hand squeezing his shoulder for stability, swiping over your bottom lip, and softly biting your lip, he let go of the insane grip he had on you. You heaved your chest up and down, messing your hair. You pushed down to the bed, sitting on top of him.
He tugged your arm towards him and you were face to face with jay. He brushed past hair intruding your picturesque visual. He lifted up your shirt enough to expose your stomach and rubbed past the expanse soothingly. He picked you and flipped you over and onto your back and made you scoot to the headrest.
The two of your made out for another few minutes or so only pulling back when in dire need of oxygen. Your lips were swollen but you were addicted. Even though the two if you had got intimate before, it was nothing compared to the emotions you felt through this. You sat up on the bed to catch your breath and ruffled through his hair endearingly.
With your approval he yanked your shirt off, then he stripped off his shirt, trapping you in between his legs. "You kiss me," he breathed out and situated his hands behind back to suport both his and your weight. You lunged at him and connected your lips to his, grinding down where your body met as he let out the soft noises from his mouth as he moved to kiss at his jaw, your hands running the expanse of his well built chest and back.
You obsessed over marking his jaw and neck for a good few minutes before travelling down to his nape, marking and sucked the area. You peppered kisses back up to his lips, taking his bottom lip between your teeth,feeling the vibrations of his groans down to your wet spot and grinded harder but free tired and settled on top of his clothes hardness.
He returned the favour by making you mean with every touch, electrifying you body. You but as his ear when his began to touch you through your remaining clothes, still keeping his lips fixated on yours. Approaching closer to your high you became hypersensitive of his every action he performed on you.
He set you on him and forced you down onto his hard-on till you cried of pleasure, riding off the whiteness by laying you down on the bed and dropping up on his elbows to kiss you. You felt immense pleasure and relief, showing your gratitude by jerking him off.
Tired, you laid on the bed in his arms, still thinking about the events that took place. "At this rate, we could just expect a kid," you say, laughing it off as a joke, "then we'll have to get to work.* He replied with a giggle and you buried yourself in his chest with a smile.
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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 3 months
Text
My dear lgbt+ kids, 
I had a panic attack in my kitchen the other day. 
It was a really warm evening, I was making dinner in the kitchen and I noticed I felt a bit weird. At first I didn’t pay it much mind, I was probably just annoyed at having to stand at the hot stove in this weather, but then the thought crossed my mind “What if I falsely believe this is some harmless discomfort and I’m actually having a heart attack?” - and those of you who struggle with health anxiety as well can surely imagine it was all downhill from there. Suddenly I got dizzy and my chest hurt and I felt like I couldn’t breathe… 
And I said to myself “These are all the symptoms of my usual panic attacks, these aren’t new or unusual symptoms that require me to get medical attention right now”, so I turned off the stove and did the first aid I learned works for my panic attacks:
I went to the fridge and got an ice cube and held it in my hand, until that sensory stimulation snapped me back to reality. And when I could think clearly again, I felt safe enough to do a deep breathing exercise and go through my “Why do I feel so shitty” checklist (checking for unmet physical needs I may not be consciously aware of), and I realized I was dressed way too warmly for the weather, so I changed into something lighter - and then I went back to making dinner. My “heart attack” was just me overheating and then my anxiety attaching a wrong interpretation to that. 
That’s a pretty boring story, right? Nothing dramatic happened. But that’s exactly why I share it with you. 
When you’re young and mentally ill (or if you have been freshly diagnosed with it, at any age), a common fear is that it’ll stay. You’ll be like this forever now, you’ll never go back to normal. And so positivity often focus on recovery, on “it’ll go away one day, you just gotta be strong until then”. And maybe it will! Mental illness is a pretty vast umbrella term, some conditions under it can be cured completely. 
But I wanted to share another perspective here: even if it won’t go away, even if it indeed stays forever because it’s a chronic condition or a treatment-resistant one (or because you learn, after years of wondering why your depression and anxiety won’t go away with traditional therapy, that you’re actually autistic and need a completely different approach than a neurotypical patient (hi, it’s me)) .. it won’t feel like it did at the beginning forever, simply because it’s no longer so new. When it’s new, you have no blueprint on how to deal with it. It’s a situation you’re thrown into with no prior training - of course you feel completely lost and hopeless! 
Mental illness is a real illness and as any illness, it’ll affect your daily life - but over all those days, you learn more about it. You try things to cope with the symptoms and realize that some techniques work better for you than others. Even if you can only learn to manage it rather than cure it: you figure out how to deal with it better. You draw your blueprint. 
It’s still part of your life but it’s no longer the showstopper. It becomes just a boring story of stopping dinner to take care of your symptoms first. And that’s something to hope for, to fight for. 
With all my love, 
Your Tumblr Dad 
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dcxdpdabbles · 4 months
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Hi!
If you’re still doing these asks, do you mind maybe adding a part 5 to Passion for Fashion?
I would love to see how Danny and Red Robin’s impromptu date goes and Constantine’s reaction to all this.
And poor Killer Croc is so confused and uncomfortable around the twins, oh and not to forget Dan’s inner turmoil over losing a love interest because his body no longer matches his mental and spiritual age😂
I’d also love to see the reactions of the rest of the Batfam to Tim going on a date and their reaction to Dan’s flirting with Croc.
Your request came in after I had already written most of Part 5, but I hope I can include most of what you asked for in it and make it up with another Part of the Au for you.
Danny strutted down the runway, fighting to keep his gaze straight ahead as various flashes from cameras went off.
He mentally went through his checklist of proper catwalk tips that he watched the other day—or, more accurately, Dan forced him to watch from some free video website—ensuring his hands were relaxed, long strides were made, and his shoulders were firm but not stiff.
This was the contest's second round, with Tim Drake proposing the "Gotham Aesthetic" as the theme and challenge. Apparently, the teenage CEO spent most of his childhood taking photos of the city and wanted others to appreciate the architecture of the aged town.
There was no kidnapping attempt this time, and the contest was back on schedule. However, there was a delay because some of the models had dropped out after they were nearly sold (Dan called them cowards, but Danny personally thought they were wise to do so). Hence, fashion designers had to scramble for someone new or forfeit their position in the contest, allowing some eliminated to take their place.
It took nearly four weeks to confirm that the same designers were staying but would need to remake or adjust their outfits. Thankfully, Wayne Amature Fashion Show was more than willing to offer them time.
Dan had already made Danny's outfit but figured he would remake it anyway. Once completed, new designs were crafted, adjusted, and flung into an idea box. He created so many it was as if Dan were a man possessed (Pun intended).
Danny needed to figure out how much fabric he was going through, but sometimes, he had to remind the other to sleep, eat, and shower. It seemed the other kept forgetting he was human now and needed to do these things for his health and Danny's poor nose.
Dan also seemed obsessed with exploring new parts of Gotham just to take pictures of buildings to get "inspiration." Danny went with him as he had nothing better to do, and the pair made an unlikely duo.
Both got stares in the streets—Danny for strutting around Gotham wearing some of Dan's regretted challenge outfits in an effort to learn to catwalk in them and Dan for dressing as close to the homeless as he could. For all that Dan could make amazing pieces of fashion, the man only filled his own closet with mismatched joggers and pajamas.
Danny had to force him back to change at one point since Dan had intended to walk around in a bathrobe- with shorts and stained short sleeves underneath it. He drew the line on bathrobes.
It was so embarrassing to be gawked at all the time that Danny could not help but wish Dan would try just a little. This was somewhat worse than when he was alone because at least then he knew it was just how stupid and awkward he looked in the outfits.
Now, he just felt subconscious about trying too hard compared to Dan.
"Relax, kid," The other scoffed, snapping a picture of the Brown Bridge. "By the time you're my age, you honestly stop caring about what other people think, so long as you like how you look."
"Can't you at least comb your hair?"
"I forgot how to do that."
Danny snaps his head in his direction, blinking owlishly "What?"
Dan shrugs. "My hair was fire for a literal decade, brat. How was I supposed to comb it?"
"Oh," Danny supposes, that makes sense. After all, Dan was more ghost than human at that point, driven mad by his grief and a colossal monster. He sort of forgot that. "Do you want me to show you how?"
"Ew. No. Too much work. Humans are so high maintenance." Dan rolled his eyes and shifted his tone into a mocking one. Comb your hair, change your clothes, take a bath."
"You smell like shit, Dan."
"You look like shit!"
"We have the same face!"
"It's better on me!"
Their public arguments also attract lots of stares. Danny would feel embarrassed by them if he wasn't so busy bickering with Dan as they moved about.
Ultimately, Dan had made his outfits formal steampunk during the break. Danny wished he had stayed with the Dark Academia idea because he felt he was walking around in a costume instead of clothes.
Dan told him that it felt too basic to go with Dark Academia since, now that he saw more of Gotham, he thought it better represent the city as a whole instead of the elites of Gotham. Danny debated with him until he agreed to make two of the four outfits- meant to represent all four seasons of Gotham's beauty or something stupid like that- to be dark academia.
Danny nears the end of the runway, stopping right before the judges to strike his pose. His eyes never leave the center decorative flower in the far back, but he makes sure to slowly turn his head as if he is gazing at the crowd.
There are gasps as he pulls off his tophat in a twirl to hide the way he presses the button on his hip. At once, his pants and sleeves light up in the gentle glow of the Brown Bridge's famous historic lampost show. It's no brighter than his ghost glow, but it makes him look like a vision, especially when he puts the hat back on with a mysterious curl of his lips.
Danny practiced that move for weeks—even when it made him cringe—and he is happy to have pulled it off successfully as he twists around and struts away. The Brown Bridge only lights its lanterns in the winter, so this hits a true Gotham native here for the seasonal challenge portion.
With his superhearing, he manages to catch Tim Drake-Wayne's dreamy sigh. Danny fights the urge to fist bump. If they impressed the special judge so much, then they just guaranteed their spot in the next round.
Each round meant they were closer to completing the mission. Since it's been practically impossible to find Batman—even when the man was running around dressed like a giant bat—this was their best bet.
Once he's backstage, he rushes to Dan's area, already ripping off most of his outfit for the last piece. Spring dark academia vaguely reminded him of rich school uniforms, but at least they didn't have ridiculous amounts of belts and metal on them.
Dan already has the outfit set out and quickly helps him change. He adjusts the vest and collar for Danny, glancing angrily at the model walking up the line. "Come on, we only have a few minutes before the last two models finish their walk for the Winter portion."
Danny nods, throwing on the gargoyle ear cuffs, only to pause when he sees a strange card on Dan's station. He pushes aside the black rings to grab a tiny green card with a giant question mark. "What's this?"
"Some guy saw my work and wanted to commission him a suit. Apparently, he was tired of how no one could style the question marks." Dan answered, distracted while reapplying some powder to Danny's face.
"A question mark? Why?"
"It's his gimmick or something. I didn't bother to ask for too many details. He will be going to our house soon to get his measurements done," Dan says, twisting Danny's face with his chin to make sure everything looks good. Danny lets him, blindly slipping on his rings and bracelets. "Thought it be a fun little side project."
"How did he hear about you?"
"You remember how you took those boxes of clothes to the job search office to give to people? Apparently, one of his employees' younger brothers borrowed a suit for his prom, and he thought the photos were nice." Dan shrugs. Then he glances in alarm at the stage hand who signals for them. "Never mind that. It's almost our turn again. Get out there!"
Danny scurries away, but not before he sees a beautiful redhead woman in green- was that leaves and vines???- stride over to Dan as the clone puts away his makeup.
She gestures with a business card, and Dan blinks as she talks once before he eagerly takes out his design journal. She must be a performer asking Dan for a new forest design or something.
Danny wonders why Gotham has so many people with oddly specific gimmicks.
He turns his head away to stride back into the catwalk, head held high as he does so. Danny makes the mistake of locking eyes with one of the judges- Tim Drake-Wayne is gawking at him like the people of the street do- and he snaps his gaze away, fighting to keep his composure.
He thinks he does well since Team Fenton snatches first place in this round. Drake-Wayne catches him at the after-party, praising his final outfit so much that Danny offers to give it to him, knowing Dan wouldn't mind.
Drake-Wayne goes red, early agreeing, but since they are so different in size—the CEO's waist is slightly leaner but with far more muscular forearms—Danny tells him to come by his house that weekend to have Dan resize it for him.
It should be fine since the Question Mark man and Leaf Lady will also be there that day for their own measurements.
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brotherly-lov3 · 2 months
Text
A deep thorough look into Huey and Louie's sibling bond
It's to no one's surprise that these two share a sweet and close connection as they're one of DT 17 show's main duos, but there are some details that add more prespective to their bond that could go unnoticed and overlooked.
And as a fan of their bond I'd gladly point out some of those details, so bear with me...
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Let's start with the thing that defines their bond most. It's the comfort they get from one another. As we've seen when Louie got attacked, the first thing he did was to go to Huey for comfort, and When Louie was feeling bad, in Timephoon ep, and apologized for accidentally making them disappear, Huey's first thought was to comfort him and bring him in for a hug.
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Louie also provides an equally important emotional support for Huey. He cares about his brother's emotional state and uses careful words to lessen his anxiety; like when he comforted Huey and cheered him up when he was nervous about going to the contest without the JWG.
He also jumped in to protect him when he started to get anxious from Dewey's continous protests and reassured him, even though Louie himself wasn't a fan of his new legs either.
The one time when Louie triggered Huey intentionally because he was tired of adventuring, he immediately looked guilty, feeling bad for doing so.
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They feel safe around each other. Louie said it before, and it was obvious in the way they jump in each other's arms —literally— when they're scared. During the final credits, Huey and Louie looked terrified falling off the plane, but that look was wiped away once they found and held onto one another <3
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We can see that Huey does his best to prevent any harm near his brothers by taking safety measures. He's protective of them, which made him Louie's choice for shielding, knowing his brother will rescue him.
Accordingly, protecting Huey is also a priority to Louie. He'd just grab Huey's hand when he runs away from danger. When Huey was being tugged by the money shark, Louie rushed to save him, not letting him go, and both ended up inside the shark.
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Huey and Louie share a close connection, and the way they act like bffs is so precious. Putting a casual arm around the other's shoulder, vibing and going silly together, teasing and annoying each other all the time.
Huey even wanted to practice a secret handshake with Louie when he saw the three Caballeros perform theirs.
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They go to one another for help. Like when Huey made Louie dress as him and lie to Fenton's mum and Gyro, and when Louie kept persuading Huey to help him with Louie Inc. even though Webby was more than willing to do the checklists job for him.
Another thing is so important about their dynamic is that they cherish the bond they have. They like their closeness to one another, and they showed that off in 'the spear of Selene ep' when they literally built a statue of themselves high-fiving, looking proud. 
And as the oldest brother, Huey cares for Louie. In the video of Huey's 30 things, 'making sure Louie also was having fun' was one of them. You can see that clearly in 'Glomtales ep' when Huey left his iPad for Louie before leaving, aware that his brother gets bored easily. Not only that, but also he was the only one who called Louie later, trying to include him in their journey and excited to share the fun with him. Huey only hung up when he saw no point if his mum wouldn't let him show stuff to Louie.
It's also so cute that Huey always tries to win Louie over on his side whenever he argued with other characters.
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Louie cares about Huey as well that he gets sad when Huey's mad at him and happy when he receives praise from him. In the Halloween ep, Louie was so determined to gain the candy fortune, but upon seeing how upset Huey was about it, he gave it all up.
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Louie was probably the one who really understood what did the woodchuck mean for Huey more than anyone else; while everyone looked shocked when Huey lost the challenge against Violet, Louie was the only one who looked sad for him.
It's also telling how Louie would feign reading from a book when he pretends to know about something, imitating his oldest brother (Louie always uses the internet as a source of information) and would disguise as him a lot.
It proves that Louie looks up to Huey and that made it a good conclusion when Louie was the one to keep the JWG after Huey was kidnapped and use a book for the first time to find their brother.
That arc got closed when Huey's brothers finally acknowledged the book's importance, which led to one of the sweetest hugs in the show.
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Huey and Louie make such an integrated team as they have complementary types of intelligence. Huey was the one who usually knew what they should do, and Louie was the one who better knew how to do it.
When they team up they work in sync and fall into an easy rhythm. And I think they would be as good of a team as Scrooge and Donald in 'the most dangerous game night ep' if they actually had a chance to play with everyone else.
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Last thing I want to talk about is their opposite personalities. Huey's the responsible, honest and active oldest triplet. And Louie's the careless, tactful and lazy youngest triplet. This contrast was the main focus on throughout their arc as they showed in many episodes how Louie just acted irresponsibly all while Huey judged and reprimanded him for being lazy and getting them into so much trouble. It made Louie annoyed sometimes, thinking his brother was overreacting or trying to ruin his plans, until he discovered Huey was right later.
However, that arc ended with a sign of love. When Huey explained, in 'the fight for castle McDuck ep', that he learned to take the hard way to protect them from falling into trouble like Louie always got them to when he used the easy way. This time though, he didn't say it with an accusing tone, he said it affectionately as he hugged his brother close. Louie was even distracted for a bit before realizing what he said wasn't all flattery.
The message was that at the end of the day, Huey just appreciated his brother, trouble and all, lazy and all, 'pulling a Louie' and all. It was just beautiful.
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This took so long so I'm going to stop here. Thank you everyone who reached this far. If you have anything to add, feel free to do so. REALLY I'D LIKE TO READ YOUR THOUGHTS.
I wanted to write about them since I came here, and I finally got inspired to do so thanks to @writebackatya 's poll.
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yerimbrit · 5 months
Text
10 hour flight : p. hanni
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synopsis: you bump into a girl more than once at the airport. you learn that she's on the same flight as you, and to top it off, sits right next to you on the plane.
# pairing ! trainee!hanni pham x art student!reader
# tags ! fem!reader, slowburn...?, strangers to lovers, fluff, hanni's debuting soon, reader did some... insane shit in her past, but tbh she's not all that insane herself i swear, she's just reckless, hanni's afraid of flying, reader is '04, reader is a loser unfortunately
# wordcount ! 16k
# warnings ! lots of mentions of injuries/scars
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today was probably one of the biggest days of your life.
you had just graduated from high school in australia in may about 2 months ago, getting into SNU's college of fine arts. you intended to pursue your passion in painting. ever since you were a baby, you've loved to have a hand in art — always scribbling colorful images on everything you could touch, from big pieces of scrap paper to the walls of the living room.
from a young age, you have won a significant amount of trophies and medals for your paintings entered in art competitions. your parents were highly supportive of your hobby, pouring months worth of paychecks into your art lessons and academy tuition fees.
although you were quite grateful, you thought they could be overbearing sometimes. that's why you chose to attend a school far away; to have a breath of fresh air, away from your overprotective mother and father. you could never relax and let loose like you wanted if they were worrying over every little move you made.
for example, the time your parents had left you alone in the house for the first time because they were going to a friend's wedding. they made an extensive list of things to do and not do, and of course, you used the 'not do' side as a checklist.
in your defense, you hadn't planned to have so many people over, just your friend group. but your friend chaeyoung knew a girl that knew another girl that knew a guy, and suddenly your house was hosting a massive party for the entire student-body. it was an honest mistake on your part, vowing to never host a party like that ever again, and sticking to stunts that you could do yourself for some healthy adrenaline.
obviously your parents weren't pleased when they returned, seeing the aftermath of the events taken place the day prior. you were given a big scolding, but you didn't let that stop you from attempting to wreak havoc the next time they were out.
now, family gatherings weren't your favorite. you couldn't get away with anything so long as someone older was watching you. they thought you were a demon. an artistic prodigy demon. they didn't understand how someone like you could be so good at something that was supposed to be so peaceful. you think you've matured enough though; it's been years since you've actually done something bad.
a few of your relatives stayed in seoul after your parents left for melbourne, including your idiot cousin hyein and her parents. it was decided that you were going to live with them, since you've already stayed there on previous visits.
speaking of hyein, it had been a while since you've seen her, last being christmas, which was a disaster. did you say it's been years since your last incident? well, you lied.
all the adults were out for something that you don't remember anything about, and you, being the troublemaker that you were, had convinced the younger girl to help you hang yourself from the ceiling right above the tree. your reasoning was that you'd "wanted to be the star for the night," and sweet little hyein agreed because why wouldn't she agree to her cool older cousin?
(you don't know where hyein got the harness and rope, or how hyein managed to wrap the rope around the beam on the ceiling that extended past the second floor, but the younger lee's eyes practically sparkled at the thought of accompanying you in one of your schemes, so you decided to ignore it.
hyein buckled the harness, tightening it as you squirmed against the restraints. she flashed a mischievous grin at you.
"ready?"
"i was born ready.")
both of you failed to realize that the rope you were using was extremely frayed at the ends and had definitely gone through years of wear-and-tear. it ended up snapping, and in the process, dropped you onto the christmas tree that had just been decorated that morning.
your relatives came home to you and hyein on the floor, wide-eyed, with wounds littering your face and arms from falling onto the tree.
needless to say, you and your little cousin were never allowed alone without supervision again.
on another note, you finally arrived at the airport!
your dad went around the car to open the trunk and started taking your luggage out. shortly after, you and your mom got out of the car and went to join your dad in getting your things.
"so, SNU huh? you're going too far, kid!" your dad chuckled, extending his hand for a handshake.
you gripped his hand firmly, feeling the roughness of his palm, and moving your hands up and down once.
you grinned. "i'll be back before you know it, dad."
you were about to let go until your dad brought you into a tight hug, leaving a kiss on top of your head.
"i know... it's just, we'll miss our star girl, you know?" he patted your back. "it'll be hard for this old man without his little girl around all the time."
you stared amusedly. "even though i always cause trouble when you're not looking?"
your dad let out a hearty laugh and ruffled your hair, much to your chagrin. you took this moment in, absorbing as much of it as you can so you could remember every detail. there were more wrinkles in his skin, and there were visible bags under his eyes. even though he's aged physically, you could tell in his laugh that he was still the same old dad that you've adored since you were little. (he was always the more spoiling parent between him and your mom.)
he stepped back, allowing your mother to rush in for a passionate embrace. you slowly felt your sweater getting damp as your mom sniffled into your shoulder.
"be sure to call when you land, okay? and eat on the flight, it's a long way there. also, the plane is cold so use that blanket i put in your backpack, and-"
you gave your mom a squeeze and briefly pulled away.
"i got it, mom. you told me all of this last night, remember? i even checked everything you said off before we left this morning so i wouldn't forget, so don't worry about me."
she managed a small smile and brought you back into the hug.
"let us know when you've arrived at hyein and her parent's house. and tell them we said hi and to take care of you."
you gleamed. "of course."
after making sure you had everything you needed, you gestured to your parents for a big group hug.
"i love you guys."
"ditto." your mom slapped your dad's shoulder, and you all laughed.
once you made it to the security checkpoint, you waved your parents one final goodbye, before the start of a long journey ahead.
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"excuse me," you mumbled, narrowly avoiding bumping into others in the bustling crowd of the airport. there was a lot of people going back home after vacation, or going back to school or work after visiting home.
heaving a sigh of relief after making through the crowd, you took a moment to look around the area, a plethora of shops and restaurants standing before you. in doing so, you failed to realize you were still in public with thousands of people walking around you, and bumping shoulders with a girl.
"ah!" "ow!"
you widened your eyes as you turned to look at the person you just walked into, swiftly picking her bag up from the ground and handing it to her.
"oh my god, i'm so sorry. i wasn't paying attention," you said, bowing out of habit. the girl giggled. 'oh my god. she has the cutest laugh ever,' you thought to yourself, before looking up to see her face. 'oh my god. she's the cutest girl i've ever seen.'
"it's okay. at least we didn't fall over, right? are you hurt?"
snapping out of your daze (you were staring, and she definitely noticed, you think), you shook your head.
"no, i- i'm okay. are you?"
"mhm, i'm fine! don't worry about me."
you tried to muster out any words relating to asking the girl out, but when you opened your mouth she was already waving to you and turning around.
you cursed to yourself, frowning. "damn it, y/n. you can do all sorts of stupid stuff but you still can't even talk to a girl?"
for as long as you could remember, you've always been unlucky with the girls you talked to. for example, the girl you met at a music festival, who you went on a few dates with. she stopped talking to you after hearing about all the risky things you've done. or the girl who you were paired up with in your advanced painting class, who you almost dated. she cut things off with you because you were too much of a "genius" in art. you still thought that was an asshole move, because what does that even mean?
shaking your head, you forced yourself to stop thinking about your love life in ruins and instead started strolling around the spacious corridors of the airport. you made a mental note to buy something for hyein upon seeing the variety of gift shops lined up next to each other.
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you sipped on your steaming cup of coffee, mindlessly scrolling on your phone to pass the time. your croissant laid half-eaten on the plate. the chatters of the people around you became white noise as you fell into the cycle of liking a post and scrolling down to the next one. if you zoned out enough, you could make out some of the conversations around you. you sighed.
'i miss mom and dad already...'
a bag being placed on the table interrupted your inner monologue before it could even start. startled, you looked up to see a girl. 'oh, a very pretty girl. wait, isn't this the girl from earlier?' you blink. 'shit! it's the girl from earlier!'
"excuse me, but could i take this seat?" she glanced around, then met your eyes. "there's, well. not exactly anywhere else to sit, ahaha..."
opening and closing your mouth, you wordlessly moved some of your things so she could set her cup down. she smiled at you, eyes crinkling up into slight crescents, and you think you've met the love of your life, judging by the way your heart thudded in your chest after seeing the human embodiment of an angel.
she took a sip of her drink. "thanks."
the atmosphere became suffocatingly awkward, and you nervously tried to redirect your gaze to anything but the pretty girl sitting in front of you. your attempts failed, unfortunately, because apparently trying not to look at someone is a lost cause, and your mind automatically filled with the brief memory of the stranger's laugh, smile, and face. giving up, you let your eyes find their way back to her face, surprised to see that she was already looking at you. you coughed.
"so," you started, "whEre-" 'what the hell. leave it up to me to have a voice crack while starting a conversation.' she giggled, and you bit your lip trying not to scream.
fiddling with the hem of your shirt, you cleared your throat and started again. "ahem. i um, meant to say... where, where are you headed to?"
she hummed, taking another sip of her drink. "korea. i'm... hoping to make music there. where are you going?"
you nodded. "music, huh... that sounds really cool," a look of realization dawned on your face, and your eyes widened. "wait, did you say korea?"
a questioning look appears on the girl's face, and she nodded. "yeah, korea. why?"
"i'm going to korea too! i got accepted to SNU's college of fine arts. i paint and stuff."
her mouth formed an "o" shape and she gave you an impressed look.
"that's impressive! it must've been stressful for you."
you grinned, taking a small bite of your almost-forgotten croissant. "it was. i almost lost hope, refreshing my email page over and over at night," you said, shaking your head. "by the way, what's your name?"
the girl looked startled, clearly not expecting the sudden question. the flash of surprise only lasted briefly, however, and she hastily cleared her throat to reply.
"hanni," she smiles, "hanni pham. what's yours?"
"y/n. lee y/n."
"well, y/n... it was really nice meeting you. maybe i'll see you in korea. you could design one of my album covers, haha."
you gulped, trying to ignore the burning heat rushing to your cheeks at the way your name rolled off her tongue. "oh! yeah. it was great talking with you, hanni. and if we do meet again... i'll do my best with the design."
she took her finished cup of whatever she ordered, and her bag, and waved to you with that angelic smile of hers as she walked away with her suitcase.
"nævis, calling-" as if right on cue, your phone's ringtone went off, the beat drop of aespa's next level playing at an extremely loud and embarrassing volume. you sheepishly mouthed sorry to the people around you, who were staring because of the noise, and picked up the call.
you cleared your throat, lowering your voice. "hello?"
the excited voice of hyein rang out into your ear, "unnie! y/n unnie!"
you winced and moved the phone speaker slightly further away from your ear.
"hi, hyein. what's up?"
you heard some shuffling around, and what seemed to be like your aunt's voice scolding hyein for yelling.
"hello y/n, sorry about hyein, she's really excited to have you here soon."
you subconsciously smiled at the thought of your little cousin counting down the days until your arrival. "don't worry about it, auntie. did you need something?"
there was some whining from hyein in the background, and your aunt sternly called her name, effectively shutting her up. "nothing, nothing. just wanted to check in with you. you're at the airport now, yes?"
you nodded, even though she couldn't see you. "yeah, i am. i got some coffee at a cafe and i'm about to head to the gate. by the way, did you guys want anything for the last time in a while? the chocolates at the gift shops are always good, i know you and uncle like them."
there's a thud, and you blinked at the silence that followed. you waited, checking your phone to see if the call was still connected, and raising an eyebrow when hyein's voice finally crackled out into the microphone.
"haah... haaaah... finally..."
"hyein?"
"i want a kangaroo keychain! the cute plush ones!" you once again pulled the phone speaker away from your ear when she yelled again.
'aren't those really expensive?' you thought, slightly grimacing at the thought of your soon-to-be empty wallet. 'oh well.'
you laughed as you pressed the phone to your ear to speak again. "okay, okay. anything else?"
"get two. i wanna match with you, unnie!" by now your wallet was really crying. 'the things i do for you, hyein.'
"alright... well, i have to get to the gate now. i'll see you later? say bye to auntie for me," you told hyein, finishing your pastry and cleaning up your table before getting up from your seat.
"okay! bye unnie!" and the call dropped. you sighed, shaking your head while smiling, and started making your way towards your gate.
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(you held the small keychains in your hand. they were the size of your palm, and you turned it around to check the price tag.
"holy shit, 15 dollars for this tiny thing?!"
"it's for hyein, she wants to match. it's for hyein, it's for hyein, it's for hyein...")
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"hanni?"
"y/n?"
well, that was sooner than you thought. as soon as you made it to the seating area, you spotted a familiar face: the pretty girl named hanni that you bumped into earlier. before, you couldn't start a conversation with her without stuttering and stammering, but the feeling of your lighter wallet must've left you more easygoing after mourning your diminished funds on the way to the gate. (you were at least glad you could make hyein happy.)
she gestured to the seat next to her, her bag occupying it moments prior. grateful, you thanked her, and moved to sit, setting your suitcase in front of you. just as you started to relax, hanni gently tapped your shoulder, nearly making you jump.
"fancy seeing you here?" she said, her grin accompanied by a lighthearted tone.
you breathed a sigh of relief. her lopsided smile sent waves of comfort through you, allowing you to ease into the moment.
"yeah, what are the chances? we're on the same flight," you remarked, a small grin settling on your face as well—hanni's smile was very contagious when you weren't distracted by her beauty, you noted.
hanni nodded, grin widening. "seems like the universe has its plans. maybe it's fate?" she quipped.
"haha, maybe."
a moment of silence passed, and you both burst into a fit of giggles.
you never believed in fate, despite your friends talking your ear off about it. whenever they asked for your input, you brushed it off as a silly superstition. comes with messing around doing stunts all the time, you supposed. after all, you were unpredictable, and so was the world. the thought of your future being predetermined made you shudder.
wanting to continue the conversation, you racked your brain for anything she told you earlier. what was it she was doing... ah, music!
you cleared your throat, bringing hanni out of a daze. she turned her attention to you, eyebrows raised.
"you're doing music, right?" she nodded, "yeah, i've already signed with a company and all."
"really? which company?"
she hummed thoughtfully, and pursed her lips. "sorry, i'm not allowed to tell."
"ah, that's okay," you said, scratching your neck. "do you play an instrument? or do you sing?"
"i do both, actually!" she said with a smile, her voice warming. "but i'm focusing on singing. what about you? you do art, right?"
you perked up at the mention of art. "yes, i do, i love painting," you said, eyes brightening.
"actually, there was this time where i tried to smash my head through the canvas for a project- hey, don't laugh, let me finish! i tried to make it so that the end product would be my face, with action lines outside the rip marks, but the canvas broke in half, and i ended up with a ton of scratches on my face..."
the two of you continued to chatter away, the conversation flowing effortlessly between you. your surroundings became a blur as you lost yourselves in the moment, unaware of anything happening outside of your bubble of conversation.
you suddenly remembered that you were waiting for a flight, and frowned. "hey, don't you think it's been a while since they've said anything? it's close to boarding ti-"
the calm voice of a flight attendant interrupted your question.
"attention all passengers going from melbourne to incheon: there's been some technical difficulties, and we are disappointed to inform you that your flight will be delayed. departure time will be pushed back by approximately one hour. thank you."
as murmurs spread through the gate and disappointed voices filled the air, you felt a sense of frustration wash over you. fishing your phone out of your pocket, you quickly sent a text to your aunt about the delay, your irritation evident in your furrowed brow.
hanni puffed out her cheeks in frustration. "ugh, unlucky."
you nodded in agreement, a sigh escaping your lips. "yeah, it's frustrating. now we're gonna be there even later in the night," you replied, your gaze shifting from your phone to meet hanni's disappointed eyes.
"i guess there's nothing we can do about it now."
"yeah, i guess so."
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hanni always thought she led an honest life, steering out of trouble and focusing on her passion for music. she made sure to feed the dogs, keep up with her studies, help her mom cook, and get along with her younger sister. she had a lot of friends, and she was in a dance cover group with some of them too. she played the ukulele, guitar, and piano, and she sang as well.
then she auditioned for hybe, and passed. her family was proud of her, and she left to korea for training shortly after. she missed home a lot. like waking up to milly and mia's excited barks for breakfast, or bickering with her sister in the car on the way home from shopping, or having family bonding time during dinner.
love was the last thing on her mind when she started training. sure, she's had some crushes here and there, but she's never pursued any of them. that was all there was to it; just a silly crush. when she became a trainee, any thoughts of crushes in hanni's mind were pushed aside for dancing and singing lessons, as well as korean classes.
but after your fateful encounter (or, well, encounters) at the airport, hanni thought she could forget about coming back to training for at least one day.
from the moment she saw you, hanni pham was dazzled. when you bumped into her, you immediately apologized, and even picked up her bag for her. when you finally looked at her, and she could see your face, hanni almost screamed. you were so, so, beautiful. and she had to make her leave before she actually screamed.
then hanni saw you again at a random airport cafe, and everything clicked. lady luck must've finally looked on her side this time, because there were clearly open tables all around you, but you still let her sit with you. with that, she let the conversation flow between the two of you.
by the end of your second encounter, hanni must've thought her luck ran out by now and left with an open offer, knowing you would never see her again after she left.
and then you finally reunited at the gate. well, if hanni thought her luck ran out at the cafe, then it had definitely run out now. there was absolutely no way she could get any luckier than being on the same flight as you.
was it bad she's started to develop a crush on you?
there was a thump next to her, and hanni felt an added weight fall on her shoulder. she turned to see if you dropped something, but it seemed that your head dropped on her shoulder, having fallen asleep. your head. on her shoulder. you fell asleep on her shoulder.
hanni's face was bright red at the realization. you fell asleep! on her shoulder! her body immediately tensed, instinctively trying to get you off, but gave up after you only shifted closer to her. and well, she didn't want to interrupt your sleep, since you seemed exhausted just moments ago.
she couldn't help but think your sleeping face was beautiful too.
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"attention all passengers going from melbourne to incheon: apologies for the wait. boarding will begin in 15 minutes. thank you."
the announcement jolted you awake, and you sleepily rubbed your eyes and lifted your head from where you were leaning it on, stretching your neck to hear a few satisfying cracks.
"did you sleep well? you just suddenly passed out; i was worried," a soft voice asked.
you tried to blink out more of the sleep out of your eyes and focus on the voice next to you, finally seeing hanni's concerned expression.
clearing your throat, which was hoarse from your nap, you offered her a sheepish smile. "yeah, i slept well. i was so anxious last night that i went to sleep really late, that's probably why. sorry about that."
hanni nodded. "no worries! going away from home is scary, i agree."
you tried to reach for your phone, only to look down and see hanni's jacket draped over you. 'huh?' you thought. 'wait, come to think of it, what was i sleeping on?'
you shot a glance over to hanni, who tilted her head. you squinted your eyes, trying to connect the dots. then, it hit you like a pile of bricks: you fell asleep on hanni's shoulder. your cheeks dusted pink in embarrassment, and you cringed at even the thought of it.
'god, that's embarrassing!' you thought, feeling a sense of mortification burning in your chest. 'she even used her jacket as a blanket for me, and she asked if i was okay when i woke up...'
"oh my god, i'm so sorry!" you blurted out, the words tumbling out of you in a rush. "i really didn't mean to fall asleep on you, i mean i didn't even realize i was falling asleep, but-"
hanni giggled, the pleasant sound resounding through your ears.
"it's okay, y/n. i don't mind."
'ah... it's almost like an angel got sent down from earth.'
despite you intruding on her personal space, hanni was still so kind and considerate to you, even though you only met each other a couple hours ago. a heavy blush overtook your face.
"here's your jacket back, at least," you offered, a mixture of gratitude and embarrassment showing in your tone.
she shook her head, waving her hands. "oh no, you can keep it on. you must be cold in only that sweater."
you opened your mouth to protest, but ended up just smiling.
was it too soon to say you liked her?
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the flight attendant walked up and down the aisle, checking for everyone's seatbelts. you and hanni sat comfortably towards the front of the plane, flashing friendly smiles at each other.
you and hanni sitting next to each other? what? wait, let's rewind. how did you find yourself sitting next to hanni, the girl of your dreams who you were talking to at the gate, and at the cafe, and outside of the security checkpoint?
well, the two of you were in the same boarding group. and taking a look at your tickets, you were actually seated right next to each other.
funny how fate plays out, huh.
it seemed like hanni was thinking the same thing, because she started giggling, nudging your shoulder.
"it's funny how fate plays out, huh?"
"absolutely," you replied with a grin, matching hanni's playful tone. "seems like fate has quite the sense of humor, doesn't it?"
hanni giggled again, her laughter echoing softly in the aisle.
"definitely," she agreed, a hint of amusement sparkling in her eyes. "who knew our paths would cross like this? and especially so many times in a day?"
as the flight attendants made their final rounds, you relaxed in your seat and turned to observe hanni, who was looking out the window. her gaze wandered, from the people on the ground crew to other planes preparing for takeoff. you noticed her shiver, and quickly took her jacket off from your shoulders and draped it over both of your laps.
surprised, she looked over to you with raised eyebrows, then smiling at you, mouthing a 'thanks'. she turned her attention back to the window.
you directed your gaze to your lap, leaning back in your seat. your seatbelt kept you from slouching back. you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, and you unlocked it to see a text from hyein.
from: mom's favorite child (🐣) UNNIE!!!!!! 😚😚 what do u want for dinner moms asking also did u get the keychains 😈
you laughed to yourself, typing in your response. you purposely waited between each message sent, to tease her; hyein always hated when you did that.
to: mom's favorite child (🐣) hi hyein 🤓 i want kimchi jjigae!! also [attachment: 1 image] yes i did
you almost drooled at the thought of your aunt's kimchi-jjigae. the first time you had it, you were hooked. no matter how many times your mom tried to recreate her sister's cooking, it never hit the same as when you'd stay at hyein's house for the holidays and wake up to the smell of your favorite dish in the morning.
from: mom's favorite child (🐣) got it o7 (replied to [attachment: 1 image]) ↪ AHH THEYRE SO CUTE OMGOMG (replied to "hi hyein 🤓") ↪ who are you calling a nerd.
giggling to yourself, you decided to leave hyein on read, swiping out of her contact after reacting to her text confirming your request with a heart.
the jets of the plane fired up, starting to taxi down the runway, and you pocketed your phone and joined hanni in looking out the window.
"have you flown here before?" she asked, keeping her gaze outside.
you hummed, thinking back to your very eventful past visits to your aunt's place for vacation.
"yeah. i have family here, that's where i'm staying for college." you said. "i've gone over a bunch of times for the holidays."
the girl next to you stayed quiet, still staring outside. the plane started to tilt up, and you could see hanni bite her lip. as the aircraft gained elevation, going higher and higher, her eyes grew shut and her face scrunched up.
then her hand flew to yours, clasping yours with an almost crushing grip, eliciting a slight wince from you.
"hanni...?"
her eyes remained tightly shut as she stuttered out a response. "so-sorry! i'm a bit... afraid. of- of planes."
you felt the plane make a sharp tilt to the right, and the left, and hanni's grip only intensified.
"no matter how many times, i- i fly... it doesn't seem to get any better... i'm sorry," she mumbled. if you weren't craning your head to listen, you wouldn't have caught half of what she was saying, considering she was trying to focus on containing her fear.
her hold on you loosened, almost as if she was ashamed, but you only responded by firmly squeezing her hand back. if she's scared, then you should comfort her, right? it's only the right thing to do.
the action caused her to whip her head towards you, her gaze darting between your hand tightly grasping hers and your face. this went on for a few seconds, your concern for the girl growing as the moment stretched on. you watched her closely, noticing the furrow in her brow and the tension in her soft features.
when she finally stopped at your face, you offered her a comforting smile. she blinked a few times, widening her eyes, and reciprocating the gesture.
the plane started to stabilize in the air, letting hanni's anxiety simmer down while you rubbed soothing circles into her palm. it seemed to help, since her shoulders visibly relaxed as she took deep breaths, flashing a grateful smile to you. despite the plane now flying steadily, you never let go of her hand, continuing to offer a sense of solace in case the girl's anxiety spiked.
after around 10 minutes (you didn't really know, your watch was in your bag and you still hadn't let go of hanni's hand) a flight attendant started making her first round down the aisle for drinks and biscuits. as she reached your row, her cheeks raised up in a cooing smile, her gaze clearly lingering on you and hanni's now-intertwined hands.
"aren't you two just the cutest couple," she remarked, her smile widening.
hanni's cheeks flushed, and she quickly shook her head, stammering, "oh, no, i'm, we're not-"
before she could deny the attendant's assumptions, though, you swiftly interjected, flashing a grateful smile to the attendant. "thank you. we'll have a cup of water," you glanced at hanni, thinking for a moment, "and some hot tea."
the attendant gladly poured your refreshments, sending you a "hwaiting!" gesture before moving on to the next row.
"i'm so sorry," you turned to hanni, releasing her hand. a wave of disappointment hit you at the loss of hanni's warmth. she seemed to share the feeling, although you didn't notice.
"it's fine. it would've been embarrassing for all three of us, anyway."
"yeah..."
the two of you turned away from each other, blushes overtaking your features.
'the thought of dating her doesn't seem so bad.'
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it had been about an hour and a half since takeoff. you texted some of your friends, who checked in on you frequently, asking things like 'are you dead' or 'did the plane crash yet', to which you replied 'not yet sadly' or something similar. you were doodling random cats in your notes app in between texts.
to your left, hanni had pulled out a book, seeming invested in the pages filled with words of plot. she was almost at the end, you noticed—there were only a few pages left.
a few more minutes passed, and the girl closed the book with a content sigh. after tucking the book safely into her carry-on bag, she peeked around her, her eyes landing on you, scanning your features.
"hey, how'd you get this scar on your cheek?"
you felt a poke on your upper cheekbone, hanni's finger pressing lightly on the tender patch of skin. you brought your hand up to your face to touch the already fading scar, and tried to remember which incident it was from.
"i think it's from when i jumped out one of the school windows," you answered, turning to look at hanni.
"oh," she replied, then raised her eyebrow. "wait, what? you jumped out the window?"
you scratched your neck, feeling embarrassed. 'she's definitely gonna be scared away after i tell her,' you thought ruefully. glancing over to hanni, you quickly realized you weren't going to get away with not telling her the backstory of the scar.
you sighed. "it's not that interesting, i mean..."
the girl beside you watched with expectant eyes, eagerly awaiting your next words. you pondered, wondering if you should really tell her.
"i set off some firecrackers on the school roof, and they found out it was me not even five minutes later," you explained, "i sped down the stairs and hid in some cleaning closet. but they somehow knew i was in there, so i had to jump out the window and run home before they caught me."
a few beats of silence followed, your self consciousness catching up to you as the tip of your ears flushed bright red. when you sneaked a glance to your left, you saw hanni's mouth agape.
"wow," she blinked. "that's insane."
"i know."
you rubbed your elbow, fidgeting with the fabric of your sleeve. 'she's definitely weirded out. see, y/n, this is why girls never-'
"but you're okay, right?"
'huh?' you thought to yourself, then facing hanni. she had a worried smile on her face, head tilted to the side. your cheeks burned. you couldn't win against pretty girls.
"oh. yeah, i am. i just landed in a bush, and a branch scratched me."
she nodded, scanning your features. aside from the one on your cheek, there were a few other minor scars on your face, from similar events, although those were more hidden. there were a lot of them around your body too, from burn marks to scratches and cuts.
"what's this one from, then?" she pointed under your ear, where a small scar from a healed cut laid.
"this one? it's kind of recent. i was trying to make an outline of myself with throwing darts, but my friend had terrible aim. it grazed my neck."
hanni winced, cringing as she imagined how that felt for you. "yikes."
she thought for a moment, a memory resurfacing at the mention of darts.
"that reminds me, there was a time me and my friends were playing darts, but we all kept missing the board," she smiled, reminiscing on the past moment. "we hit everything in the house but the dartboard."
you smiled as well, finding humor in the similarities between you and hanni's experiences. well, except for the fact that your friend was supposed to miss you, the target.
"what did your parents say?" you asked, genuinely curious. your parents usually restricted your actions, like not letting you go out after school or supervising your purchases, but ultimately let you off the hook in the end. you thanked them for that mentally, albeit feeling a tad guilty for being spoiled.
she tapped her chin. "they just scolded us and told us not to do it again. and we had to clean up our mess—there were a bunch of darts on the ground, and things that fell because of the darts."
you laughed, finding her memory relatable. there were countless times you were made to clean up your messes, although you didn't exactly learn from your "mistakes." (you considered them "happy accidents," as bob ross said. alas, your peers, relatives, and teachers alike, disagreed.)
"how did your parents react to your injuries?" hanni questioned, her expression softening.
"well..."
you and hanni started getting to know each other better, warm and lively conversation filling the air. you learned that she was raised in melbourne, and that both of her parents were vietnamese. she had two dogs and a younger sister, and she played a variety of instruments.
you told her about some other incidents, to which she was amused by, and touched lightly on the awards you've received for your paintings.
topics shifted constantly, the two of you seeming not to run out of things to talk about. with debates on something as trivial as which juice flavor was better, more memories from your childhood came flooding back, the two of you sharing your experiences and bonding over them.
'this is nice,' you thought, a glimmer of hope rising. 'maybe, things will go well this time.'
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from: 🆕👖 (soon) meanjee 🐻 hanni are you on the plane? kitty kang 😾 did you bring the tim tams dani ☀ omg did you get tim tams for us 🥺🥺 you yes dw i also made a friend meanjee 🐻 who dont lie 🤣😂 you excuse me her names y/n shes an artist guys shes so cute 😭 we kept bumping into each other and guess what kitty kang 😾 you tripped over yourself? dani ☀ you asked her out!? you (replied to kitty kang 😾: you tripped...) ↪ do you want the tim tams or not kitty kang. (replied to dani ☀: you asked her...) ↪ NO we just met but i was TRYING to say that we bumped into each other accidentally like 3 times and we're on the same flight and sit next to each other dani ☀ it's destiny!! meanjee 🐻 i never thought i'd see the day hanni having luck in girls 💀 you WOW im js gna ignore that. remember my fear of flying? she held my hand the whole time bc she saw i was scared :(( shes js so AUGH :] i think she likes me too kitty kang 😾 she has more game than you im glad she could comfort you though dani ☀ AWW that's so cute you two are so cute i wanna meet her! you maybe if things go well with her hyeinie THE BEST MAKN😎E hiii whats going on (replied to you: excuse me her names...) ↪ wait did u say y/n?? you yeah why? hyeinie THE BEST MAKN😎E um actually its nothing i have to help mom with cooking bye unnies!! you ???
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hanni stared at your hand, which was holding out an earbud, in confusion. she tilted her head.
"ah, sorry. do you want to listen to something with me? you can choose the song," you smiled, showing your phone screen which displayed the spotify search menu. (you made sure that it stayed on the search bar and not showing one of your many embarrassing playlist names.)
her eyebrows raised, a flicker of curiosity in her eyes as she processed your words. you swallowed nervously, about to retract your hand until she took the earbud from your hold, her hands brushing against yours briefly.
"sure," she agreed, then reaching for the device from your other, outstretched palm. "do you like daniel caesar?"
your bangs fell over your face as you nodded eagerly, blocking your vision. you moved to tuck your hair behind your ear, though hanni beat you to it, her cold hands contrasting with your now-burning-red ears.
hanni cleared her throat with a quiet cough, breaking into a smile shortly after. the two of you listened to the melody of the song that was being played into your shared earbuds, hanni occasionally humming along.
"and i'd love to make you mine," she softly sang, her gentle voice filling your ears. she sounded like cotton candy, so sweet, like honey drizzled over warm toast on a sunny afternoon. each word that she sang sent you into bliss, arrows of cupid piercing your heart. 'maybe,' you thought, 'just maybe. i'll ask her out on a date by the end of this flight.'
the last few seconds of the song faded out and started playing whatever was recommended by your spotify (which was a wave to earth song) but you couldn't pay attention as you found yourself replaying hanni's singing in your head.
noticing your furrowed eyebrows and your dazed look, hanni nudged your shoulder. "sorry, was i too loud? i tend to sing along sometimes; it's always been a habit of mine."
you widened your eyes, shaking your head no. "no, you're fine! i think your singing is quite nice, actually. you have," you blushed, "a very pretty voice."
her cheeks lifted into a closed smile, sending a flutter through your chest. you took a few deep breaths, trying to calm your thumping heart. at least you didn't panic at everything she did, unlike the past 10? 20? times she did so much as smile.
"thank you," she giggled, leaning her head on yours. deep breaths were not going to help in your situation, since it seemed to get even worse for your heart every time. instead, you focused on the song playing in your ear, and the rise and fall of hanni's chest. it wasn't too long after the next song started when you started hearing small snores next to you.
'ah,' you thought. 'she must've been tired.'
moving her head to sit more comfortably on your shoulder, you brushed her bangs out of her face, unconsciously smiling at how peaceful she looked asleep. you adjusted the jacket that was laid over both of your laps to cover more of her legs instead of yours, slightly shivering as you instantly felt the cold from the cabin aircon replacing the warmth from hanni’s fleece jacket.
‘oh, well.’
you rested your head on top of hers, sarah kang’s once in a moon quietly playing into your shared earbuds, and you let yourself slowly drift off to join hanni in dreamland.
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"mmph..."
you groaned as you rubbed your eyes sleepily. your neck was stiff, your shoulder was sore, and you had 12 different cramps in your legs from your uncomfortable position in the airplane seat.
hanni shifted on your shoulder, and you panicked, thinking you might've woken her up from your stretching. thankfully, her soft snores continued after a few moments.
you sighed in relief. you would've felt insanely guilty if you ended up waking her.
stretching your shoulders back, (though still careful not to wake the sleeping girl leaning on you) you reached into your backpack under the seat in front of you, and pulled out your sketchbook.
the thing itself was around a year old. over that year, you'd nearly filled it to the brim with dozens of drawings, including ones you drew on buses, trains, at parks, in history class, on your bed, everywhere. similarly, you kept a sketchbook for each year prior to the one currently in your hand. it was almost time to retire this one; you only had about 3 pages left.
taking a small pen out from your wallet, you pressed the fine tip to the smooth beige paper, soon letting your arm move freely across the page, sketching things you could see around you—the overhead aircon, someone's paper cup of water from the recent beverage round sitting on their tray table, and...
you looked to hanni, then back to your sketchbook. you'd subconsciously started drawing hanni while looking around your surroundings (or, lack thereof). although it was quite difficult to get a decent look of her features as a whole, you managed to sketch out the way her bangs framed her face, the curve of her eyelashes, and her mouth slightly ajar.
the people around you must've thought you were crazy watching you try to lean forward to look at hanni, while also trying to keep your movements minimal as to not wake her. but that was okay. people back home already saw you as crazy when you did anything, especially after the wheelie incident, which you didn't want to think about.
after finishing the initial sketch, your hand appeared to have a mind of its own, because it moved to the next page over and started doodling more of hanni. you squinted your eyes, trying to remember what she looked like when she bumped into you, when she sat across from you at the cafe, and when she was sipping from the cup of tea you called for her a few hours ago.
the page was filled with hanni's face in the blink of an eye. you didn't know how it happened, but it would be really embarrassing if said girl woke up and saw this right now.
"mmm..."
...why didn't anything go your way?
you flipped back to the page full of doodles of the cabin before she could see anything, covering the page with your sleeve. you tensed your shoulders in nervousness, quietly clearing your throat.
"sleep well, hanni?"
hanni's lips upturned into a sleepy smile (you screamed a little mentally at her cuteness) and she nodded, giving you a thumbs up.
"thanks for letting me use you as a pillow," she said, rubbing your numb shoulder.
you laughed to yourself, mostly because you couldn't feel your shoulder as hanni touched it. "it's no problem. i wasn't going to let you have neck cramps from leaning on the wall."
she nodded again, stretching out her muscles and letting out a big yawn. her eyes shifted back towards you and down at your lap, where you placed your sketchbook.
"what's that?"
a bead of cold sweat rolled down your forehead, and you gulped. what if she was creeped out at your drawings of her? then, your mind wandered to the moments you shared just earlier, and you thought, 'there's no way hanni would act like that.'
you shyly uncovered the page, passing the book to the girl, watching intently as she pored over the details that you'd meticulously drawn. her mouth gaped in astonishment, in awe of your ability to capture the scene around you.
she turned her head towards you, eyes sparkling. "this is amazing, y/n!"
you bashfully scratched your neck, giving her a sheepish smile.
"it's nothing, really," you tried to say, but her attention was already on the next page.
"this is... me?"
crap.
"um, yeah. it is. there's not much to see from our seats, so i ended up drawing mostly you," you tried to defend, hoping she wouldn't take your actions badly. "you're also, very," you cleared your throat, blushing, "pretty. very... pretty, yeah."
she grinned, cheeks dusted pink, and trailed her hand down the page, tracing over the soft features—her features—that you'd effortlessly drawn as she slept.
"can i keep it?" she asked, looking into your eyes for approval.
shrinking back from the unexpected eye contact, you gulped and nodded. you were thinking about giving it to her anyway.
"yes. i'd love to give it to you, as something to remember me by, haha."
after you finished your sentence, you gently grabbed the sketchbook from hanni's already offering hands, and left your signature on it. the ripping sound of the book hummed as you removed the page from the confines of the spiral spine, handing it to your seatmate.
her grin grew wider as she accepted the paper. "thank you so much, seriously. this is so cool!"
"it's no problem," you laughed, tipping your invisible hat to her.
the flight intercom beeped.
"hello, this is your pilot speaking. we have arrived in incheon, local time is 10:42 pm. please make sure your seatbelt is secured and your seat trays and window blinds are up, and also unplug any devices you may have. enjoy your stay in korea and have a good night."
hanni, who just tucked your drawing into her bag, looked over to you with surprised eyes. "it's the end already? i swear we've just been here for like, 3 hours."
you were shocked too, your eyebrows raised. "i know, right? but i guess we did spend a lot of it sleeping."
"yeah, you're right," she giggled.
you took a deep breath, not knowing what to say. "it was, um... really nice getting to know you. i know it was weird seeing each other so much in a day by chance," you said, "and uh, if you'd like, we could, um, go out on a date sometime?"
a scarlet blush overtook your face, and you think the people behind and in front of you must've heard you say that because you heard a gasp or two from your surroundings.
hanni's face was terribly red as well, and it made you feel a little better knowing you weren't having one-sided feelings.
"o-okay. deal."
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the rest of the time spent after that was a blur to you, and it took you until you sat down on hyein's living room couch that you forgot to give hanni your number.
holy shit, y/n. you asked a girl out on a date. and after spending basically the whole day together, you forgot to exchange contact info with her? this was on a whole new level of sick and twisted, even for you.
"we're home!" a gruff voice called, followed by the sound of the heavy door closing, and the sound of excited footsteps followed, rushing in your direction.
a minute later, you got tackled by a very hyper hyein.
"unnie! unnie, you're here!"
her hold on you was incredibly tight. you don't think you could squeeze out even if you wanted to. nonetheless, you returned the embrace, patting her on the back and nuzzling your nose into her messy hair.
"hey, hyeinie. i missed you," you murmured, moving your hand up to card through her dark brown locks.
your younger cousin's eyes sparkled, and she broke out into a huge grin. you felt yourself being squeezed even tighter, before you coughed and wheezed out, "can't- breathe."
your uncle gently separated hyein from you, and you stood up so you could bow and give him a hug.
"welcome back, y/n!" he laughed, giving you a rough slap on the back which made you stumble a little.
your uncle was a warmhearted man, much like your father, even though they weren't blood-related. you didn't exactly know what he worked as, but he was always dressed to the nines whenever he went out, regardless of the occasion.
"i'm glad to be back. i'll be staying for a while, too," you added.
turning and smiling at hyein, you ruffled her hair, making her stand up and do it back to you. thankfully, you dodged in time. wait, did you shrink? or...
"hyein, you got taller again!" you exclaimed. last christmas, she was at about your height; a little above average, a solid 5'6. but looking at her now, she was probably around 5'7, almost as tall as her dad.
the younger girl blinked, staring wide-eyed at you. she slid her hand from the top of her head to the empty space above yours. being honest, the difference wasn't all that much, but your brow twitched at having to even slightly flicker your eyes up to make eye contact.
"did i?"
this was starting to irk you. you knew that hyein just realized this was something she could hold against you, and that was the last thing you wanted to happen.
defeatedly, you sighed.
"dinner is ready!" your aunt called from the kitchen. your eyes lit up as the scent of your favorite kimchi-jjigae wafted through the air. bless your aunt's soul.
you slowly turned to your cousin, a glint in your eye.
"last one there is a rotten egg."
and then, chaos.
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"y/n, you haven't been here in a while. now that you're here to stay, would you like to do anything in korea?"
you adjusted the bandaid on your knee, and hissed as hyein pressed on the bruise just below it. of course, you hurt yourself while trying to race the younger lee to the dining room.
snapping your eyes to your aunt, who was setting the pot of stew in the middle of the dining table, you tried to think of something you've never had a chance to do. but you've been to korea countless times before, and you'd always gotten to do something new. it'd been around a year since you last came, since your relatives came to you for christmas 7 months ago.
"i guess... just walking around like a local? going to a café, walking around the city. and..." you bit your lip, struggling to remember the name of the theme park that was so famous.
"oh!" you snapped your fingers, "lotte world!"
hyein's hand twitched. one glance at her, and you could see that she was practically buzzing with excitement. she looked as if she was about to bounce off the walls like a pinball. you pinched her arm, causing her to yelp.
"lotte world! that sounds fun," your uncle commented, "i wish i could join. work's been busy lately."
your aunt laughed, "me too! but y/n," she shot you a stern look, "don't go causing trouble for people. i don't want to see you on the news for the wrong reasons."
'that's very encouraging and totally non-threatening!' you shivered. still, her words only tempted you. knowing you, it wouldn't be long into the school year before you were a known figure on campus.
portions of the stew were distributed to everyone's bowl, and you licked your lips. you didn't have anything on the plane, since you'd slept through most of it and missed the in-flight meal.
"thank you for the food," you said, before bringing a spoonful of the stew to your lips.
with that single bite, you think you've ascended to heaven and above. you wolfed down the rest of the food, eating like you hadn't eaten in a week (which you felt like you didn't) and before you knew it, you'd finished your dinner. seeing this, hyein also tried to finish her food quickly, but was stopped by your aunt.
taking a few swigs of water, you looked to your aunt, who watched you in bewilderment. "auntie, that was so good. seriously, that was soooo good. can i have seconds?"
everyone at the table broke out into a fit of laughter.
"of course, y/n."
as dinner went on, and you caught up with hyein and her parents, everyone had finished their serving, and you, your third serving. you tried to help your aunt with the dishes, but she just shooed you away to you and hyein's shared room.
despite already having been in the bedroom to drop off your luggage, you let your cousin lead you to it. it was very spacious, having enough room to hold a sizable tv that you could watch netflix on from the bed, and enough room to walk around comfortably. hyein's desk was messy, as always. it was filled with school papers, colored pencils and highlighters, and a book you got her the last time you visited.
speaking of the bed, it had been replaced by a very charming bunk bed, complete with fluffy white comforters and a surprisingly stable ladder. you already claimed the bottom bunk as yours, your phone laying on the plush pillow.
"tada!" hyein presented to you, doing jazz hands towards the bed. "i know you've already seen it, but try laying in it! it's pretty comfy for a bunk bed."
following her suggestion, you went ahead and sat yourself on the bed, immediately sighing in content. moving your phone so you could lay down, you swung your legs over the bedframe so you could soak in the comforting feeling of the bed. the mattress was fairly soft, perfect for your strange sleeping positions. you flashed an upraised thumb to hyein, who grinned triumphantly.
she puffed up her cheeks. "see?"
"i do see, hyeinie," you said, reaching for your backpack, "before i forget..."
the younger lee gasped at the sight of the matching kangeroo plush keychains, even though she'd already seen them over text. one was purple, her favorite color, and the other, blue. attached to their hands were small magnets, which would allow them to connect together.
she squealed, holding the purple one to her chest. "they're so cute! i love it, thank you y/n-unnie."
you were, once again, brought into a soul-crushing hug. 'at least hyein is happy.'
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10 minutes later and you and hyein were now wrapped up in a fiery race of mario kart. you had successfully hooked up your switch to the tv just a bit ago, and of course you had to compete with her in your shared favorite game. it was a tradition for the two of you to play through at least two rounds of the grand prix mode, usually playing for the special cup for one of the rounds.
a hand covered your field of vision, and you batted it away, groaning at your little cousin. "stop, i was winning!"
she cheekily stuck out her tongue, swiftly overtaking you in the race. you cursed whoever picked the mushroom cup (you did) because the piranha plants in sweet sweet canyon were beating your ass, and your rank just kept dropping after hyein rudely interrupted your groove with her hand.
"ahhh..." you sighed as a bot passed you on the second lap. setting the cpu level at the maximum was a mistake. hastily, you collected the power up block, your eyes lighting up seeing the formidable blue shell on the dice roll. spotting the shortcut, you performed a sharp-angled drift that you were only able to do after years of perfecting the technique, and expertly boosted yourself to catch yourself up to 4th place.
it appeared that hyein was too focused on smoothly driving through the track, so she didn't notice your newly-acquired trump card. you smirked. 'she won't see it coming,' you mischievously thought.
it was now the third lap. you were saving the shell for right before the finish line, and you were currently in a solid 3rd place, with hyein in 1st and a bot in front of you.
the younger lee glanced at your side of the screen and widened her eyes. 'did she just now notice i had the blue shell?'
"unnie! you can't! i'm so close to winning!" she shouted. the finish line was nearly in sight. the bot slipped on a banana peel and your smile only widened as you watched the flailing animation while passing by. hyein tried kicking you to distract you, but it was no use. you had already thrown the power up that would help you win the race.
"checkmate," you smugly said as you patted hyein's back. the girl was watching the finish screen in despair, gripping her controller tightly in annoyance.
she slowly turned to you, a menacingly determined look on her face. "i'll win the next one. it's thwomp ruins, you suck at thwomp ruins."
damn it. she was right.
hyein ended up winning the next race, as she declared. you always had trouble avoiding the obstacles on the track, much to your dismay. with that win, she also won the cup, because she also won the first two races. you blamed it on the jetlag.
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(when you awoke, you felt a heavy weight on your chest. you blinked, barely making out the image of hyein laying on you, softly snoring. you checked your phone. 5:12 am. well, whatever. it was too early to think about anything. gently combing your fingers through her hair, you fell back asleep.)
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“y/n?”
the door to your shared bedroom creaked open, and you shoved the covers over your face. 
“y/n, it’s 11:30, wake up,” the voice called.
slowly, you peeked from under the comforter that was very much doing its job at keeping you comfortable, to see your aunt standing in the doorway with a ladle. reluctantly, you climbed out of bed.
"morning, auntie," you mumbled as you rubbed your eyes, making your way to the bedroom door.
she stepped aside to let you exit the room. "good morning, sleepyhead."
you spent a few minutes to brush your teeth and wash your face in the bathroom before coming out to the living room. the house was eerily quiet without the presence of your uncle and hyein.
...wait, where's hyein?
looking around suspiciously, you still found no trace of the younger girl in the house. she was gone when you woke up, too. where could she have gone? it was summer break, and hyein was barely entering high school.
coughing, you asked your aunt, "um, where's hyein gone?"
"oh, she's at the company. she has practice today, didn't she tell you?"
"what practice?"
"...dance practice? vocal lessons? she's debuting this month, remember?"
debut... dance... vocal... that rings a bell...
'wait, what the fuck? is hyein a kpop idol?'
your heart beat faster at the revelation. hyein? your cute little cousin who you swore had just graduated from elementary school two years ago? you knew she took dance lessons, and her other activities that came to a halt last year, but... debut? she was still a kid! and it sounded like this debut was serious, the real next step in her career.
your emotions were all jumbled up upon thinking more on the matter. why didn't she tell you?
"y/n? hey, how about you eat now," she placed a bowl in front of you, "and maybe later you can talk to hyein about it. don't worry until then."
"easier said than done," you replied, digging into the rice with your spoon. but she was right. you could talk to hyein later; you still had to unpack your bags.
breakfast tasted dry and bland, even though you were sure your aunt cooked it with perfection and love in mind. there were just too many thoughts in your mind.
putting your finished bowl in the sink and washing it, you shuffled back into you and hyein's room, intending to tidy up the space and also set your things down. this was where you'd be living for the next four or more years, after all.
this bedroom brought back memories. what used to be a guest room that five-year-old you would sleep in during the holidays, was now turned into your dear little cousin's haven of comfort. from the moment she was born, you've adored her—it was like having a little sibling, since you were an only child. the guest room was more lively, more full of energy with hyein there.
as she grew up, there were times where she, of course, kicked you out of the room, because it was 'too embarrassing' to have her older cousin sleep in the same room with her. although you always woke up in the middle of that night to see a hyein-shaped lump on top of you. it was endearing, really, to see, to know that the girl loved you as much as you did her.
you traced your finger along the edges of the old closet in the corner of the room. there was a barely noticeable dent on the side, from when you were playing a game of operation and accidentally threw the tweezers too hard in a fit of rage.
a piece of duct tape you'd painted white that was stuck onto it for a good week, because that was the best that a 14-year-old and a 9-year-old could think of. your mom and auntie still got mad, though.
you got to cleaning and unpacking, patiently waiting for time to pass so hyein could come home and you could talk.
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dinner came and went, and you were now sitting on the bed, waiting for your cousin who was washing up in the bathroom.
"hey unnie... why are you just sitting there?"
you wordlessly patted the space next to you, your silence being an indicator that what you wanted to talk about was serious.
"why didn't you tell me you were a trainee?"
"..."
"hyein?"
she stared at her lap, guilty. "i..." she choked out, "every time you came, i was just having so much fun. and i didn't know when to tell you because i thought you would make fun of me, or something. i don't know."
hyein sniffled, and looked at you with tears streaming down her cheeks. you sighed and wiped them away with your thumb. she continued.
"and this training, i know you think it's a lot for me and it is, but my members, they make it so much fun. and i'm so close to achieving my dreams, y/n-unnie! july 22nd. that's in 20 days, i'm gonna be a real idol. topping the charts, i just, urgh-"
you brought her into a hug, rubbing her back as she sobbed into your shoulder.
"...i support you. i'm not judging you, i was just worried about you," you planted a kiss on her forehead.
"you're my baby cousin, of course i wanna protect you from the nasty entertainment industry. but... if this is what you want to do, then i'll cheer you on from debut to retirement."
she sniffled. "that's in like, a gazillion years, you're gonna be dead by then."
"shush," you pulled her back into your embrace, "let's just go to sleep."
at 6 am, you woke up with hyein sleeping soundly on your chest, again. this time, you carefully slid out of bed, brushing your teeth in the bathroom, and then sauntering over to the kitchen where your aunt was already awake and cooking breakfast.
"up so early?"
you groaned. mornings were never for you, especially since you always stayed up to paint during your spurts of inspiration.
"i talked to hyein." a pause. your aunt took a minute to wash her hands, and turned around to face you.
"and?"
"i told her i support her. and we fell asleep talking about which member of bts was the best. and now my eyes are super swollen 'cause we had a crying session right before that."
in the background, you could faintly hear the sound of rushing water. hyein must be awake.
"morning..." the younger girl walked in, rubbing her eyes.
you smiled. "good morning, hyeinie."
"woah, you're awake... you're usually passed out at this time."
"are you disappointed?"
"settle down, kids. breakfast's ready."
you ate in silence, occasionally asking for a napkin, or asking how each other's sleep went, and hyein went in to go get dressed for the day.
the sound of the garage door opening resounded throughout the house; uncle must be back from running errands.
"that's me," your cousin said. you adjusted the cap on her head.
"you're sleeping on the bottom bunk tonight, just so you know. i don't want you falling off in the morning, while i'm 'passed out'."
she slipped on her shoes, grinning widely at you. then, she set off with a skip in her step. you shook your head at the sight, giggling.
a few hours later, around noon, your aunt came into your room holding a wrapped... lunch? it looked like the ones you would get from your own mother for field trips, a boxed lunch wrapped with a cloth with a cute design on it. you paused in the middle of your painting of the view from your window. it was time to take a break, anyway.
"what's this?" you took it from her. the cloth concealed the smell pretty well, so you couldn't tell what was in it.
your aunt crossed her arms. "hyein's lunch."
okay... that's weird. why would she come in and give you hyein's lunch? wasn't she supposed to- oh. "you want me to bring it to her, don't you."
she only nodded, leaving the room right after.
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hybe entertainment was a big building. like, a seriously big building. it was also weirdly pleasing to look at, but you thought that way with how the city looked in general with all those big buildings with their fully windowed walls.
hyein's manager was supposed to come get you at the lobby. it felt awkward waiting there, since it was so prim and proper compared to any other place you'd been to. you felt out of place. you were just a trainee's cousin, not some important figure in the industry. hell, you weren't even in the industry!
from: mom's favorite child (🐣) why'd mom tell me to send my manager down? are you here? to: mom's favorite child (🐣) yeah from: mom's favorite child (🐣) why???
you chose not to answer that. 'did she really forget her lunch?'
after around five minutes (and after receiving some curious looks from staff members) the manager led you to a dance(?) practice room, nodding and opening the door for you.
"unnie!" you were immediately crushed by the tall girl. you think the cramp in your spine was fixed by her intense embrace.
she gave you an excited look. "why're you here?"
you held up the box, dangling it in front of her eyes. "you forgot your lunch."
she took it from you with a straight face, but then changed the topic without saying anything else. what the...
"meet my members!" hyein stepped aside, revealing four girls who looked almost as confused as you were.
but they were all very pretty, you noted. especially that girl on the right, with the bangs. and those pretty eyes. and ah...
'oh my fucking god.'
"y/n!?"
"h-hanni!?"
you stood there in shock. out of all the places you could meet again, it was at your cousin's workplace? and, it turned out that they even worked together?
you were pulled into the practice room, and now you were sitting on a metal folding chair, in an icebreaker circle that took you back to middle school. it all happened in a blur, one second you were staring at hanni and the other you were forced into a chair by hyein. everyone else looked slightly uncomfortable as well.
"this is y/n, my older cousin!" she introduced you to the other girls. then, she pointed to them one by one.
"this is haerin-unnie." the cat-eyed girl nodded at you.
"minji-unnie." she waved, offering you a tight lipped smile.
"dani... danielle-unnie." she also waved, though with much more energy and a wider smile. cute.
"and this is hanni-unnie, but i suppose you two are acquainted already."
you ignored how hyein's posture became stiffer and how she suddenly started talking in a formal tone, like what she did when she was starting to plot something.
nonetheless, you bowed in your seat and waved. "i'm lee y/n... incoming first year at seoul national university. i'm looking to major in painting."
there was a brief period of silence, and you awkwardly traced the bruise you got two days ago through the hole in your jeans.
danielle(?) started clapping, the other members (including hyein) following suit.
"can we see some of your works?" she excitedly asked. you, once again, found it hard to resist a pretty girl.
"yeah, for sure!" fishing your phone out of your pocket, you pulled up the album titled 'finished paintings' and chose a landscape painting of the blue mountains which you did on a short vacation to newcastle in march. you used the pictures your dad took on his professional camera as reference, and it ended up being one of your best projects in your portfolio.
you tilted your phone horizontally so they could see the full piece, chest swelling with pride when their faces lit up with wonder.
"it's beautiful," minji commented, her eyes trailing from your phone screen to you. you blushed at the sudden eye contact.
danielle loudly gasped, shaking hanni back and forth. "oh my gosh, it's the blue mountains!"
another aussie?
"yeah, went there during a trip to newcastle," you replied in english. the girl's eyes seemed to light up even more, if that was possible. her smile became so blinding that you felt you had to shield your eyes.
"newcastle!" she pointed to herself, "that's where i'm from!"
"really? it's so pretty there, especially by the beaches," you said. "i wish i could go back and paint the views."
your stomach growled. right... you hadn't eaten since way earlier in the morning. you scratched your neck in embarrassment when haerin and hyein started giggling.
"have you girls had lunch yet?"
at seeing their heads shake 'no', you stood up and stretched your arms back. "wanna go eat something? it's my treat," you suggested. "i think i saw a tonkatsu restaurant on the way here."
the cat eyed girl, haerin, made a sound akin to the squeak of a cat (ironically) and tugged on minji's sleeve. she whispered in the girl's ear, and minji turned to look at danielle and hanni for approval.
"fine with us," she affirmed, sending you a gummy smile. "i'll tell our manager."
hyein poked your shoulder. "what about my lunch?"
"uh... we can watch something tonight and you can eat it then, i guess. i won't tell your mom?"
"deal!"
[hybe -> new area unlocked: tonkatsu restaurant]
the seating arrangement went as follows: haerin, hyein, and danielle on one side of the booth, and minji, you, and hanni on the other side. you mentally braced yourself for kicks from hyein, but your heart also sped up at being next to hanni again.
the group made their orders, you prepared to empty your wallet, and were now engaging in conversation with danielle and hanni. next to you, hyein, minji, and haerin were having a separate conversation—something about sparklers and filming.
"so, danielle," you started, folding a napkin into an unlimited amount of halves. she interrupted you before you could continue, smiling, "you can just call me dani! i find being called my full name a bit... you know."
you nodded in understanding. "dani, so you're australian too? must be nice to have a fellow aussie in your group," you nudged the girl sitting on your right. she nudged you back, but her hand made its way to yours under the table. you tried your best not to freak out.
"yep! speaking of which," danielle pointed between you and the 'fellow aussie'. "how do you two know each other? there was that whole thing when we first saw you and everything."
by now, the other three girls have tuned into your conversation. it seemed that they too, were curious.
the vietnamese was the first to explain. "we met at the airport, after i visited my family. we bumped into each other like, three times before finding out we also sat next to each other on the same flight."
minji raised an eyebrow, "wait, this is the y/n you were talking about?"
hanni looked to the side and tucked her hand behind her ear. she was talking about you?
you gave her hand a squeeze, causing her to look down at your now-intertwined fingers. when did that happen?
across the table, hyein eyed you suspiciously.
thankfully, the food came and you enjoyed your lunch, which sufficiently tamed your prior hunger that led up to this situation. you recounted more of you and hanni's first meeting, but the more you talked the more it felt like you were introducing yourself as her girlfriend.
"wow, is that why you left me on read?"
you snorted. "no, i just wanted to annoy you."
hyein kicked you under the table. you made a mental note to check your foot for another bruise later.
"to be honest," you said to the group after you finished your last bite, directing everyone's attention to yourself. "i didn't think i'd end up spending the afternoon with soon-to-be idols."
next to you, minji laughed. it tickled your brain, the way her deep voice was so sooth and calming.
"i don't think anyone here expected to spend the afternoon dining with our youngest's relative."
you laughed along with her, dabbing at your mouth with a napkin. "but i mean, we'll probably be seeing each other often. i'd love to get to know all of you."
the girls made noises of agreement, either nodding or approving verbally, and soon everyone was done eating. you paid the bill (rest in peace, wallet) and when you came back from the counter, hanni, danielle, and haerin are gone.
"they went to use the restroom," minji informed. you made an 'ahh' expression and gave an 'ok' gesture, and made to sit down to wait for the three. hyein stared at you and minji.
"i think you're really cool, y/n."
you almost did a spit-take with your glass of water. that caught you way off guard. what are you supposed to that?
"...and i was just wondering, could i get your number?"
you blinked. minji blinked. and out of the corner of your eye, you could see that hyein also blinked.
but... who would turn down an offer from a(nother) pretty girl? not you.
so obviously you punched in your digits onto the girl's phone, saving yourself as 'y/n 🎨' and by the time you were done, the rest of the group had returned to the table.
when you and the girls arrived at the company, minji left with a wink toward your direction, danielle and hyein hugged you goodbye, and haerin waved at you. only hanni was left, but both of you were reluctant to go.
"i hung the sketches up in my dorm room."
your eyes slightly widened. "really? i'm glad you like them. it's embarrassing, but you're sort of turning into my muse."
you coughed as to hide your scorching blush. hanni giggled, her cheeks also tinted red.
danielle called for her from the entrance, and you both looked to the building.
"i should go."
"yeah... oh, here." you handed her a torn piece of napkin paper with your number written on it. "my number, 'cause my dumb ass forgot to give it to you earlier."
she pocketed it and sent you an eye smile, before waving and turning around to catch up with her group members.
score!
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one week later and you and minji became quick friends. she was funny, very dry but very funny. and you were too shy to text hanni much despite your show of confidence when you gave her your number.
you also hung out with the oldest member a lot. just the other day, you went to the mall with her and got frozen yogurt, and since the day you met her you've been texting every night. though not as much as you did with minji, of course you hung out with the other girls too, like when you visited the company a second and third time. (coincidentally, it was because hyein had forgotten her lunch, again)
you actually just got back from visiting minji at the dorm. it was your first time there, and you mostly just stayed in her room after being given a tour. (you ignored the disappointment in your heart after finding out hanni had a schedule, and wasn't at home)
hyein already had some of her things moved to her dorm room, but she was allowed a few more days at home until she had to stay there long-term. but lately, you've been noticing her staring at you. it often happened when you were texting or hanging out with minji. you would just see the younger girl stand in the corner of the room, 'distracted' with her phone as soon as you turned to look at her.
you were resting on your bed when the door burst open. startled, you sat bolt upright and turned your attention to whoever rudely interrupted your peaceful hour of doom-scrolling.
"unnie, do you like minji-unnie?"
"what the fu-" you stopped yourself. auntie would scold you if you slipped up in front of her kid. "no! what!?"
"oh." she sat herself next to you on the bed. "but you talk to her all the time. it's like you don't even like hanni-unnie anymore!"
it took you a second to process the younger girl's words until you exploded into a blushing mess. "how- how did you know i like hanni?"
"it's way too obvious," she shrugged.
hyein left the room, leaving you confused, until she came back in with a rolling whiteboard. where did she even get that?
you watched as she wrote on the board with a pink marker. 'operation... confess... to...' wow. you didn't like where this was going. at all. why should you confess? shouldn't she be focused on debuting? you wouldn't want to be a distraction to her. and you're pretty sure she didn't like you like that.
hyein put a bullet point under the heading, the marker squeaking as the ink dried within a second.
you frowned. "i don't think i should confess, hyein. you can put the board away."
she looked disheartened for a moment, but shook it off and faced you. "i'm like, 95% sure she likes you back. she doesn't shut up about you when she's alone in her room. i don't think she knows that we can hear her talking to herself."
choosing to keep quiet, you laid back into bed and covered your face with a pillow. that was a matter to think about later, and it was hard to stop hyein once she'd started.
"let's see... hey, pay attention; this is for everyone's sake!" the pillow was snatched from your hands. you groaned and sat up. guess it wouldn't hurt to at least hear her out. "you should do something to catch her attention."
you scoffed. "like what?"
she finished drawing two stickfigures (you and hanni, presumably) holding hands with an obnoxious amount of hearts surrounding them, and rested her hand on her hip. "you could... mysteriously take her away after one of her schedules?"
"absolutely not! that's kidnapping."
she crossed the prompt off the list. "take her on a romantic tour around the city with a rented double decker bus?"
"i don't have money for that..."
"you don't have to pay for a driver, can't you drive?" hyein pouted.
you sighed. "what's the point of renting it for her then? also, hasn't she been here long enough to know the city? plus, i don't have a korean driver's license yet."
another prompt was crossed off the list, and you waited patiently as hyein thought of another idea.
"you know, the other day..." you blinked, and now she was in front of you. 'oh god.'
a wide grin spread on her face, and you paled. "i saw some window cleaners the other day. they looked like spiderman."
"hyein..."
"and like, that's so cool! you could do that. we could get a harness from that store down the street..."
"hyein, please."
"and a rope from there, too."
"but-"
"don't you want to catch her eye?"
it was tempting. it'd been so long (christmas) since you've done something fun (insane) and hyein knew just how to push your buttons.
...damn this kid.
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from: hany/n supporters mom's favorite child (🐣) added you, haerin, and mj to the group. mom's favorite child (🐣) heyy 😍 you what is this 🙁 mj ^ haerin ^ mom's favorite child (🐣) planning for hany/n to succeed also dani unnie isnt here bc she cant keep a secret mj oh finally mom's favorite child (🐣) updates will be here 😈
over the next few days, you'd been spending more time at the newjeans dorm, discussing the "plan" in depth with minji, haerin, and hyein. whenever danielle and, you smiled, hanni, dropped by, you always just changed the topic and let them join the circle, leaving the discussion to be finished in the groupchat or the next day.
but hanni's schedules had slowed down, and she was at home more often. on the other hand, it was haerin and hyein's turn to be busy, leading to you and minji hanging out on your own.
it was clear that you and the taller girl had grown way closer since your first encounter, to the point that you could joke around with her with no repercussions or shame. this year's sketchbook was a gift from minji, and the first few pages were drawings of her as a show of courtesy from you.
minji was slowly becoming your best friend since moving to korea long-term. back in australia, you didn't have a best friend, just some people that would tolerate and get along with you. but you could really connect with the stupidly tall girl that reminded you of a bear.
naturally, neither you nor minji didn't think that hanni would pay any mind to your blooming friendship.
according to minji three days later, you were wrong.
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"this is giving me deja vu," you grinned at hyein, who was currently fastening the straps of your climbing harness bought from the sports shop close to hyein's home.
she rolled her eyes, tapping your helmet. this time, there would (hopefully) be no injuries. or splinters... you hated splinters.
"i'm gonna go back to them, i'll let you know where we are so you can drop down with your," she gestured to the piece of cardstock which you decorated last night, "poster."
the ropes were checked for secureness for a seventh time, and you were assisted with being lowered down the side of the building before hyein descended the stairs and to the elevator which would take her to the second floor.
[||] hanni
"what's up with you and y/n?" hanni questioned minji. it's not like she was jealous, or anything. not of how minji got close to you faster than she did, and hanni was the one to spend a whole day with you, alone, with no interruptions before they even found out you were connected. not of how she could hear the two of you laughing away at night, sometimes even including hyein and haerin in your little hanging out sessions. not of how you flashed minji, not her, minji, your signature smile which made her heart go ten times faster, because she had gifted you with a new sketchbook to replace last year's.
okay, maybe she was jealous. just a little bit.
but it didn't help how you called her 'mj' so naturally, like you'd known her for years before. or how you always snuck off or changed the topic whenever hanni appeared, acting like you were talking about something else even though she knew you weren't.
"huh?" the taller girl stopped in front of the window at the end of one of the second floor corridors. hanni tutted, "it's like you're... you're dating! or something."
minji froze, mouth agape. that wasn't a good sign. but then she started laughing like a crazy woman, making hanni even more frustrated.
"we're not dating. i don't like anyone," she paused, a shit-eating grin slowly overtaking her face. hanni scowled. "what, were you jealous i'd steal away your c-r-u-s-h?"
she dodged hanni's punch to the shoulder, still laughing at the absurdity that was her friend's thoughts.
"but you guys are so close. and hang out all the time," hanni emphasized, making wild gestures in the air with her hands.
that would be a fair point. but to minji, letting her win would be the end of the world.
"that's because-"
"hey guys!" the sounds of three sets of footsteps became louder upon approaching the pair.
"hey, hyein. hey, haerin, danielle." minji greeted, turning to the window as if she were looking for something. haerin and hyein joined her from behind. 'what the fuck?'
"what are you guys doing?" danielle asked, trying to tiptoe to see over their shoulders. unfortunately, she couldn't get past the obstacles that were freakishly tall giants named lee hyein and kim minji.
sighing, she stepped back to face the vietnamese girl, with a pout. "oh yeah, what were you talking about? we watched you try to punch minji earlier."
"it wouldn't hurt to ask for a third opinion," she mused. "do you think there's something between y/n and minji?"
danielle's eyes nearly bulged out of her head. "y/n and minji?"
"i mean... they do spend a lot of time together. but i don't think... she—minji i mean—likes y/n like that. actually, it also seems like y/n's got a different vibe to her when she's with minji, but it's not a romantic feeling-y one, you know?"
drats.
"there she is!" hyein shouted, pointing at something that hanni couldn't see from where she was.
haerin quietly dragged her by the hand to join them in looking at the thing hyein was pointing at and- was that you!?
hanging from a rope that did not look like it supported your weight, there you were, in all your glory, outside of the window holding a sign that hanni had to squint to read.
"what the heck," she pressed her hands into the glass. "why is she outside of the window? also, is that rope even secure? and," she was nudged by minji.
"read the sign, bro."
she grumbled but squinted more to make out the words on the paper. there were flowers painted onto it, with two stickfigures holding hands, and the letters written in bold...
"han, let me take U on a d8 <3" with two comically large exclamation marks following after. han? as in, her? hanni? hanni pham who you met two weeks ago? on a date? a date!
hanni was about to shout her answer until she realized you literally couldn't hear her, because there was a window separating you two, and the rope snapped.
the rope snapped! you just fell down the side of the building! what the hell!
next thing she knew she was running out the lobby and on her way to the hospital while the ambulance carried hyein and your unconscious body.
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white walls. blinding lights. faint smell of disinfectant. it had been a while since the last time you landed in the hospital.
except you don't recall the absence of a cartoonish hygiene poster that was always visible immediately when you woke up. or the presence of another girl resting her head on the side of your bed topped with plain white sheets.
on the other side of the door, you could just barely hear two people conversing in korean.
that's right, you were in korea, not melbourne. and you'd fallen from the building after the rope holding you up had snapped.
you knew you were the definition of "fucked around and found out" but... holy shit, your body hurts like hell. looking down, you could see that your right leg was in a cast, and you were unable to move your upper body, feeling immense pain whenever you tried. to add on, there were many, many, bruises along your arms and from what you could see, your other, non-broken leg.
normally, your mother would barge in at this time, scolding you for doing something stupid again. but it wasn't "normally" today. a warm, wet sensation, a tear, rolled down your cheek. maybe it was the pain that finally triggered it, but it was the first time you cried since leaving your home for college.
"fuck," you murmured, lifting up your arm that wasn't occupied to wipe away the waterfall of tears that threatened to burst. in doing so, the girl holding onto your hand shifted. she scrunched her nose, wiping the sleep away from her eyes, and you could finally see her face. hanni. why was she here?
she stopped and stared at you for a moment before her eyes widened. "you're awake! you're- hold on, i'm- here's some water."
hanni helped you sit up, your upper body burning in pain, and you gulped the liquid down in seconds, gratefully handing the glass back to her.
"are you feeling okay?"
that was a good question. "i feel like shit."
she burst out in laughter, and you tried to as well, but ended up groaning in pain. damned body. you felt soothing rubs on your back from hanni, and you shot her an endearing smile. her actions made you feel all warm inside. like a cozy campfire on a cold, dark night.
"be careful," hanni chided, "you broke two of your ribs. and if you didn't know already, your leg too." that explained the extreme pain when you laughed.
you fell into a silence, getting lost in the girl's eyes before she coughed, blushing. "careful, can't have you falling before the first date."
breaking out into a dopey grin, you squeezed her hand. "i'm afraid i've already fallen."
"well then you better hurry up and get better so you can take me out on that date you promised, before you ended up here."
date? promised? the... the... what was it... you searched the depths of your sluggish mind, which was really hard considering you woke up five minutes ago.
sign. the... sign? oh, she saw it! the sign that you and hyein had stayed up making yesterday, to ask hanni out. it was a last minute thing, since you kept putting it off and forgot about it before last night.
a pair of lips pressed onto your cheek, but left as fast as they came. you snapped your head to hanni, touching the affected area with your palm.
without thinking, you surged forward and crashed your lips together, melting into a (not so) perfect kiss, but it sure felt perfect to you. hanni kissed back with even more fervor, hands tangled in your hair and leg moving in a slight crawl in an attempt to get closer to you without hurting you.
you pulled away, stupid smiles on both of your faces.
"you have no idea how long i've been wanting to do that," you said, sneaking in another peck on her lips.
"you have no idea how long i've been wanting to kiss you." she said, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
an idea popped up in your head after spotting your sketchbook on the table next to your hospital bed. you'd been wanting to paint her properly since the first time you drew her on the plane. "han, let me paint you. please? after i get discharged, whenever that is."
she blushed, blinking at you without saying a word. then, she pulled you into a short, but sweet kiss, and pulled away to plant a small kiss on top of your intertwined hands. you recalled minji saying something about hanni's strong distaste for kisses, but her behavior at the moment was contradicting minji's words.
"you'll have much more time to paint me, wherever, whenever you want."
you giggled, giving a squeeze to her hand. "does this mean i get sneak peeks of songs?"
"no."
"aw..."
"...maybe a little. just a little bit, because i like you so much."
you pumped your fist, whispering a "yes!" before she captured your lips in another passionate kiss.
"i like you a lot, too. more than painting. wait..."
"y/n!"
you, lee y/n, were a girl who could not get a girlfriend no matter what you tried. but on that fateful day, the day you met hanni, you only had the stars and fate to thank for letting you meet the love of your life.
10 hours, in the sky, let hanni pham wiggle her way into your life. and you had to say, it was a change for the better.
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a/n : i'm finally done... THIS was hell to write let me tell you omg it's been in my drafts since early january GOODBYEE but now i can focus on all my other stuff so....... chaewon next! LOL (and also lovergirl pt. 2 i didn't forget i swear) thank you so much for reading 10 hour flight, sorry it's so long it wasn't supposed to be 😭 ily guys
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navybrat817 · 2 years
Text
And Everything Nice
Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Bucky Barnes x Baker!Female Reader Summary: You visit the tattoo parlor when an uninvited guest shows up at the bakery. Word Count: Over 2.8k Warnings: Bad ex, mild (h)arassment, protectiveness, brief moments of insecurity, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). Graphics talent and thanks: Banner by @sgt-seabass. Divider by @firefly-graphics . Bucky edit by Nix. Moodboard by yours truly. A/N: More Hottie and Sugar from our Sin on Skin AU. ❤️ Thank you to @rookthorne for listening to me ramble about this part! Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby (thank you for spitballing), but any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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I am going to ask Bucky Barnes out.
After going through the closing checklist, Tess gave you another quick pep talk and said the only thing that would hurt if he turned you down was your pride. Deep down you knew it would hurt more than your pride if he said no, but you didn't say it out loud. She must have sensed it since she added she was certain he'd jump at the chance to date you.
"You got this," she said, giving you a quick hug. "Sorry to run, but-"
"Like I said, I got this," you said, waving her on. Normally you walked out together when you both closed the bakery, but she had somewhere to be. "Have fun!" you added as she rushed out.
Once you finished up a few minutes later, you strode to the door with your keys in hand and a smile on your face. Tomorrow was going to be a good day. You could feel it. And you would look Bucky in the eye with a smile as you asked him-
"Closing all by yourself?"
You weren't sure how you managed to not drop your keys, or not throw a punch, when you spun around and saw your ex in your personal space. You wanted to wipe the smirk off his face when you took a deep breath. "Thanks for sneaking up on me, Richard. Mind backing up a little?"
"Aww, did I scare you?" he asked as you quickly locked the door. "Not even a 'hello'?"
"We haven't talked since we broke up," you reminded him. "But hi and bye."
Richard charmed you in the beginning when you met him, like he did with so many others. Beyond his good looks, he was a confident man. It didn't take long to see that beneath the surface was a spoiled man child who was used to getting what he wanted, or thought he could buy everything. You included.
Breaking up with him was one of the best decisions you made, even if your mom disagreed.
"Where are you going in such a hurry? You should get a drink with me."
"I have plans," you lied, wondering what the hell he was even doing there.
"So? Break them. I want to talk."
The suggestion sounded more like an order and you weren't in the mood.
"I said I have plans. I'm sorry."
"Then why are you still in your work clothes?" he asked, gesturing to your outfit. "And who do you have plans with? Some new guy?"
"Because I'm changing later," you said, staring across the street as a smile spread on your face. "And not that it's any of your business, but yes. He's a tattoo artist."
You weren't sure why you said that. Maybe because you hoped Bucky really would be your guy. And because the thought of him also made you feel safe.
You half expected Richard to laugh as you walked around him, but he put his hand on your arm instead as his face twisted into a scowl. "You're not hanging out with him. You're getting a drink with me."
You wrenched your arm away before he could tighten his grip. "We aren't together anymore. So you don't get to show up out of nowhere and order me around," you said as you went to the curb.
"Don't act like a fucking brat when I'm trying to give you another chance."
I'm the brat?
"Not interested. Have a good night!" you said before you looked both ways and dashed across the street to Bucky's shop.
The entrance was cozier and more open than you expected, the sound of the needles bringing you a strange sense of comfort as you adjusted your bag on your arm. Pictures of various tattoos in different styles lined the red walls above the front desk and leather couches. You wished you had the time to pick out which works belonged to Bucky.
Another day.
"Hi! Welcome to Sin on Skin!" the man behind the desk cheerfully greeted you as he typed on the keyboard. Even sitting down, you could tell the man was built, his muscular arms covered in a variety of tattoos. He may have been intimidating if not for the glasses and warm smile. "Do you have an appointment?"
You glanced over your shoulder and saw your ex making his way across the street. "Sorry, I don't. Is Bucky here? I really need to talk to him."
"Oh, yeah. Just over there. If you want to take a seat, I can-"
"Thank you. I'll be quick," you smiled, hoping Bucky wasn't in the middle of an appointment.
You glanced around at some of the other artists as you walked over to the chairs and noted how exceedingly gorgeous they were. There was one with short dark hair and a beard that looked like he could kill someone with his tattoo gun if they stared for too long. The girl sitting at his station and the man behind him with shocking pink hair and bright smile both brought a ray of warmth to his almost dark aura.
Is it a prerequisite to work in the shop that you have to be good looking? And either look intimidating as hell or incredibly alluring?
You gripped your bag to keep your hand from shaking as you saw Bucky engaged in a quiet conversation with Steve, recognizing him from earlier. You were almost afraid to interrupt. "Hi?"
Both men turned toward you with smiles on their faces as Bucky pushed himself up from his stool. “Hey, Sugar. Couldn’t wait until tomorrow to see me?”
"Something like that," you said.
"Wait. That's Sugar?" the man with the pink hair asked. "No wonder you keep going to the bakery."
"Don't hit on her, Hal," Bucky warned, earning a chuckle from the other man. "Go bother Andy."
"He already is," a deep voice replied.
You would ask later just how much he spoke about you to the other artists. "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting. My ex was waiting for me outside of my shop and I kind of panicked and said I was meeting you and I rushed over here."
"Your ex?" Bucky asked, immediately moving forward to rub your arms in a soothing gesture. "Are you okay?"
"Hi! Welcome to Sin on Skin!" you heard the guy at the desk call out before you could answer.
Instead, you burrowed yourself against Bucky when you heard Richard shout your name. Rock solid and sturdy, his hold kept your nerves from bubbling to the surface. You had nothing to be afraid of.
So why am I shaking?
“You’re kidding me, right? This fucking asshole?” Richard scoffed as you looked over your shoulder at him. He didn't walk any closer, but his voice carried throughout the entire shop. "Like putting a bumper sticker on a piece of shit car, isn't it?"
“Richard, just leave.”
"Does your mom know you're spreading your legs for some tatted up lowlife? Still a disappointment, aren’t you?”
The jab cut deep as much as you wanted to ignore it. He knew that your mom judged every part of you. No matter what you did, it was never good enough.
You wouldn’t focus on that for the time being. "
You do not come into his shop and insult him. Bucky, I'm so sorry."
"Don't apologize for this asshole, Sugar. His opinion of me means less than nothing, trust me," he assured you before he faced your ex. "You, however, are banned from my shop. You can get out now or Jake will call the cops for trespassing. After you apologize to my girl for upsetting her. Your choice, Dick."
Your heart fluttered as you leaned into Bucky more.
His girl. It sounds right.
"Please. I can buy the shop tomorrow just to bulldoze it to the ground," he sneered before he jabbed a finger at you. "And you know what? Keep her. I tried to give her another chance, but she's not worth it. She's a lousy lay anyway."
The insult washed away the momentary good feeling and was the tipping point that brought tears to your eyes. It was humiliating enough that you were the root cause of a scene in Bucky's shop, but the jab in front of his employees and customers brought it to another level. Why did you think hiding in there was a good idea?
Does Bucky think I'm a total loser now?
It was only when you sniffled did you notice the entire shop had gone silent, a dangerous tension in the air when Bucky tightened his arms around you as Steve and Andy slowly got to their feet.
"Hey, why don't you and I go in the back?" the friendly girl at Andy's station suggested. "I think there's some snacks back there, right?"
Andy nodded and gave her the go ahead.
"Bucky," you whispered as you dared to look at him. A tear slid from your eye when you saw the murderous gaze on his handsome face. "I'm-"
Before you could register what was happening, he pulled your face toward his and kissed you. Fierce, yet gentle as he brushed the tear away with his thumb, you let him take the lead. A slow simmer of warmth crept into your cheeks as he parted your lips with his tongue and coaxed yours into his mouth. Your fingers twisted in his shirt as he deepened the kiss and shifted so you were pressed almost completely against him.
If this is how he kisses, he might actually kill me if we ever go further than that.
He breathed into your mouth as he stole the very oxygen from your lungs when he pulled away.
"Go in the back," he told you, his gaze dropping to your lips. Did he want to kiss you again or was it wishful thinking on your part? "I just need to take out the trash, finish up here, and I'll take you home, okay? I won't be long."
It was a feat that you didn't shed more years with how gently he spoke to you.
"Thank you," you whispered, unable to say much more.
"Let's check out that snack collection back there," you heard before you were pulled from Bucky's grasp.
You didn't look back at Richard when the girl tugged you away, but you heard a slight waver in his voice as yelled after you.
That's right. You should be afraid.
"Thank you," you said, wiping your eyes with your hand.
"No need to thank me. One of my good friends just got out of a bad relationship and I'm still a bit in my protective streak," she explained. "Are you okay?"
"I think so."
You tried to remember how Richard acted around other guys when the two of you dated. Had he been the jealous type and you just ignored it? Or did he only cause a scene because you showed him you wanted to move on?
Tess is going to flip when she hears about this.
"Well, whether they just throw him out on his ass or worse, he deserves it for what he said to you," she added before she told you her name. "Everyone calls me Sunny."
"He does," you agreed, introducing yourself as she handed you some water. "Bucky calls me Sugar."
"And you work in the bakery across the street?" she guessed.
"Co-owner," you said, the small talk calming you. "Do you work here or are you a client?" you asked, noticing that she didn't have any tattoos.
"New client. I work in an animal shelter," she smiled. "Grumpy out there is going to give me a sun tattoo."
"That's nice," you smiled back. It seemed fitting with her warm and bright presence. "I really do appreciate you bringing me back here."
It was somehow just as warm and inviting as the entrance, the couch worn and comfortable. You wondered how often Bucky came back here to relax and hang out in-between his appointments. Would he ever bring you back here if you stopped in to see him?
"I figured the amount of testosterone out there could be a bit overwhelming, but are you sure you're okay?"
"Other than being incredibly embarrassed, yeah."
Even though Richard was no longer your boyfriend, he just had to barrel back into your life and leave a mess in his wake.
"He's the one who should be embarrassed," Sunny said, wiggling her eyebrows. "Especially after seeing that kiss."
Your face warmed as you replayed it in your mind. The silver lining for showing up tonight was receiving such a passionate kiss from Bucky. It was difficult not to get swept up in the moment though and you told yourself it was likely just for show. A way for him to stick it to a guy who upset you.
Right?
"It was a really good kiss," you smiled.
"Oh, we all felt the heat. Trust me."
Both of you giggled until there was a soft knock on the door frame.
"Hey, Sugar. Trash is out on the curb," Bucky winked. "You ready to go home?"
Your heart fluttered as you smiled back. "Yeah, I'm ready."
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You didn't live far away, but Bucky still insisted on taking you home. He even took you out the back way so you didn't have to see anyone. While he didn't specify exactly what happened with Richard, he assured you he wouldn't poke around either of your shops again. It made the drive home more pleasant knowing he looked out for you.
So much that you almost took his hand when he stopped outside of your place.
Almost.
"Thank you for everything," you said. "I'm really sorry about tonight."
"You have nothing to be sorry for. Not the first time we've dealt with assholes in the shop. Steve and I don't like bullies."
"I still feel bad," you said, wishing the feeling would go away.
"Please, don't," he whispered.
Your fingers twisted in your lap before you took a deep breath. "When you came into the bakery earlier today, I was going to ask you out," you told him, but refused to look at him. "But after that, it's probably a dumb idea. You shouldn't have to deal with that kind of trouble."
Maybe there's a better girl out there for you.
"You think one asshole ex is trouble?" he asked, leaning over to grasp your chin so you'd face him, goosebumps rising on your arms from his touch. "I can handle that."
"But what he said in your shop-"
"He did that to bring you down because he's an asshole. Guys like that don't want to see girls thrive without them."
You scoffed and mumbled, "I wonder what you'd think of my mom.
"I'm not afraid to stand up to anyone who tries to hurt you," he said, keeping a hold of your chin with a tender grip as your chest tightened. "You said you were gonna me ask out. Don't change your mind because of them."
"So, you really want to go on a date with me?" you asked.
"If I say 'yes', do I get to kiss you again?" he replied, running his thumb along your lower lip.
You were torn between sucking his thumb into your mouth or sinking into your seat. "Maybe we should get an actual date under our belts first. You only kissed me to prove a point or something."
Even if it felt like heaven.
"Or maybe I've been wanting to kiss you since I walked into your bakery and I want to kiss you again," he said, sliding his hand around to the back of your neck with ease. "Proving a point was an added bonus."
You looked at him wide eyed and subconsciously touched your lips. "Wait, you want to kiss me just because I asked you on a date?"
"I can give you a whole list of reasons," he said, his gaze flickering between your lips and your eyes. "And I'd love to go out with you. Friday night, Sugar?"
"It's a date, Hottie," you smiled when he leaned in.
But he didn't kiss your lips.
He brushed a kiss to your forehead, which somehow seemed more intimate.
"You had a rough evening. The next time I kiss you, I want it to because it's the right moment, just for the two of us," he explained when you furrowed your brows. "My girl deserves that."
A soft smile played at your lips as something warm welled up in your chest. He could have easily taken advantage of how vulnerable you felt by stealing another kiss, but he didn't. Even though you were into each other.
Going to see Bucky tonight was the right choice.
And you couldn't wait for your date.
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Love them. Love the whole gang. Except Richard. Fuck that guy. And where are they going on that date? Check out What Dreams Are Made Of to see how Bucky is feeling. Love and thanks for reading! 💙
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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hypewinter · 1 year
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Bruce carefully approached the child playing by himself in the park. The child giggled as they played with chalk, the sidewalk illuminated by a single street lamp.
"What are you drawing?" he said softly, not wanting to alarm them.
The child turned, revealing themself to be a little boy, no older than 5. He had raven black hair and icy blue eyes. Bruce could practically already hear Oracle snickering on the other end of the comms. She had probably already taken a snapshot of the boy through his visor and posted to the batkids group chat which contrary to popular belief, he did know about. Bruce sighed internally. He'd never hear the end of it when he got home. Especially if he had the kid in tow. Let's hope that didn't happen.
"Hello Batman!" a cheery voice broke him out of his thoughts. "I'm drawing a gargaggle!"
Bruce refocused on the boy who showed no signs of fear. He didn't even look surprised which was strange to say the least. "A gargaggle? Do you mean gargoyle?"
The boy furrowed his brows for a bit before piping up again. "I do! It's such a funny word. I can never get it right."
"I know the feeling," Bruce said, crouching down next to the boy. "Sometimes I struggle with words too."
The boy's eyes went wide as if he couldn't believe the Batman struggled with words. "Say-" Bruce started, "-it's pretty late out are your parents nearby?"
The boy shook his head. "No, I don't have parents," he said as he went back to doodling.
Ok Bruce don't freak out just yet. "Oh, then do you have a guardian of sorts? Like an older sibling, or another family member? Like an aunt or grandparent?"
The boy shook his head again. "Nope. Oh! But I do have a friend. She's very nice and gives me lots of gifts and special things."
Alright, he could work with that. Maybe this 'friend' was the kid's guardian and he just didn't realize it yet. That could happen if he was put in their care recently. Bruce cleared his throat to get the boy to look up at him again. "Do you know where your friend is right now?" he asked.
The boy smiled wide. " 'course I do! She's right over there!" As he spoke, he pointed to a clutter of trees, just to his left. "She really loves you and your family," he said. "She's shy though, so she hid when she saw you coming."
"I see," Bruce replied as he got up. "Well maybe I can convince her to come out." He walked over to where the boy had pointed and pulled apart the bushes, hoping to find a woman who he could talk to about the dangers of wandering around at night. Instead he found nothing.
Bruce heard a giggle from behind him. "That's not where she is silly," he said.
"But that's what you-"
"She's not in the bushes, she's in the shadows. She's really good at hide and seek you know. Once we were playing and she hid in the shadows. Then she snuck up behind me from another shadow. It was really unfair! I never win hide and seek or tag against her," the boy said, starting to pout.
She's in the shadows? A meta? And one with a similar power set to Signal no less. Hmmmm.
Bruce began making his way back to the boy. "Then where is she right now?" he asked.
The boy shrugged, as he returned to his drawing once again. "I don't know. Sometimes she leaves and doesn't return for days. Since you're around, I don't think she's coming back for a while."
Great, just great. He had managed to scare off a little boy's only guardian in the middle of the night. Good going Bruce. he chided himself. He crouched down next to the boy again. "Do you know how to get home? Maybe we can wait for your friend there."
The boy turned to Bruce again. "Sure do!" he said, puffing out his chest. " 'cause I'm a big boy and big boys know how to get home on their own." he recited.
That was another point for the growing concerning information checklist. "Okay let's go wait for her then."
The boy's face dropped as he looked longingly at his gargoyle drawing. For a moment, Bruce thought he would have to bribe the kid with a lollipop but instead he held up his arms to be carried. "Okay," he said solemnly.
Bruce exhaled in relief as he picked up the boy. After pulling out his grappling gun he turned to the boy. "Where to...." Shit. Had he really forgotten to ask for the kid's name?
The boy in question didn't seem all too bothered by that fact. "Danny," he answered seamlessly. "And it's that way." Bruce aimed his grappling gun and off they went.
----
It took Danny all of two directions before he was out like a light. Bruce sighed, switching directions. Yep, he would truly never hear the end of it.
Next
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salemoleander · 9 months
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I am growing increasingly tired of the way certain sections of the MCYT fandom treats QPRs and non-romantic relationships as if they're inherently within Creator Boundaries. This is both ignorant of what QPRs are, and willfully avoids considering boundaries as anything beyond a useful checklist to bludgeon other fans with.
QPRs can look like friendships, friends with benefits, kink relationships, life partners, and a million other things. They can appear identical to romantic relationships from the outside. They can include sex. It's frustrating seeing QPRs morphed into Schrodinger's Platonic Relationship in fandom, where people write what is functionally just traditional romantic ship fic but still get to yell at other people for Breaking Creator Boundaries.
It feels like the assumption is "Romance might upset creators, but as long as it's platonic it's fine." As if a QPR fic where characters spend the whole time cuddling, or even a fic where they're assigned as family and are written to have a non-existent sibling relationship, wouldn't also be deeply weird & off-putting to creators. (I know many people don't approach creating fan content with creators in mind, but for those who evidently do it seems deeply odd to pretend that romance is taboo but cuddling/whump/etc are inherently unobjectionable.)
A fic where someone gets Overcome By Instincts and kidnaps another character to (platonically!!1!1!) force them to cuddle is way weirder than just having them kiss. Which is fine! It's fine to be weird! The problem is assuming that an ABO fic w/ the serial numbers filed off is inherently More Pure and palatable to creators just because it uses an & instead of a /, and in incorrectly redefining an entire complex relationship category to 'sexless off-brand romance that won't get me cancelled on Twitter'.
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after-witch · 7 months
Text
Yandere Overhaul first time having sex headcanons
Title: Yandere Overhaul first time having sex headcanons [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]
Synopsis: Headcanons for yandere Overhaul's first time having sex with reader.
Word count: 1000ish
Notes: Kidnapped reader, dubcon, descriptions of sex, reader is afab
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Preparing For Your First Time
Your first-ever kiss was impulsive. It was the first truly intimate skin-to-skin (well, lip-to-lip) contact and it took you both by surprise.
But this? This is not impulsive. This has been put onto his schedule, both the flat calendar he keeps on his desk and on his phone. He has, he says, cleared out the afternoon through tomorrow morning. You’re not sure if that’s flattering or not.
The schedule is not the only thing that’s been pre-planned. 
Overhaul gave you a checklist. Brush your hair. Brush your teeth. Shower–three times. Once to rinse yourself off, another to scrub with soap and rinse. And another scrub and rinse, for good measure. 
He’ll be doing the same, he told you, as if that lessened the feeling of shame. When he saw how your hands trembled holding the list he tilted your chin up with a gloved finger. “You’re not… dirty, darling. But one can never be too careful.  You understand, don’t you?” And you do, of course. So you head into the shower and force away nagging thoughts.
There’s a silky white nightgown waiting for you when you step out of the shower. That doesn’t surprise you: it’s how he prefers you dress at night. What does give you pause is the small vial sitting on top of it… a perfume. A scent you used to like from before. He stopped letting you wear scents when you came here. It’s a gift–one that makes you smile from ear to ear. You put a little behind your ear and relish the scent of it.
Continued:
Your First Time Together
He leads you into the most sacred of places: his bedroom. His bed is just as you imagined it. Black sheets, freshly pressed. Standard pillows in cases that you’re sure are antimicrobial. It would kill the mood, so you don’t ask. 
Your stomach starts to do awful flips as soon as he gently directs you to sit on the bed. Is this the right step forward? What if he hates it? What if you hate it? Are you even supposed to want to do this with him? But to answer that last question would undo the protective web you’ve built up around yourself over so long, and you force it away
Overhaul gently pushes your shoulders down so that you’re propped up on his pillows.
“Stop thinking so much.” Gentle, firm. An order, all the same. “You’ll worry yourself into hysterics.” 
Yes, you will. So you smooth over all the worry and guilt and remind yourself that Overhaul, that Kai knows best. Always. 
Yet that knowledge doesn’t stop the oppressive flutter of your stomach when he crawls on the bed and lifts up the hem of your nightgown. He leaves it on you, bunched up around your hips; the soft fabric tickles your thighs.
He takes off his own clothing, however. You watch as he neatly folds them and places them in a laundry bin against the wall marked DIRTY. A bin next to it is marked CLEAN.
When he returns to the bed, you finally get your first sight of his erection, pressed up against his stomach, covered in the thin clear material of a condom. Your heart hammers. It’s happening, isn’t it? 
It’s then that you notice–he hasn’t removed his gloves. “What about…”  You ask, looking at his hands. 
“I need them,” is what he says, with a tone that means it’s not to be questioned. 
Still, you squeak out a “But–” before he crawls onto the bed and gently pushes your legs open wider.
He ignores your utterance.. A smile is on his face. “You’re so sweet, aren’t you? My angel. Now try to relax, it will make this easier. I know it must be… anxiety-inducing.”
There is some small part of you that wants to snap back. To tell him that you’re not all sweetness and nightgowns,, that you’ve had sex, for fuck’s sake, just not like this. Not with him. Not under these circumstances. 
But that isn’t what Overhaul, what Kai wants, and you don’t want to ruin everything. Really, he’s right, isn’t he? You do think too much. It makes things too complicated.
So you lean your head back and go quiet and he takes that as a sign to begin. His gloved finger goes inside you too quickly, and your breath hitches. 
“Relax,” he says. It makes you think, abruptly, of when he takes you into the clinic. The tone he uses when he’s about to stick you with a needle. Relax, relax, relax.
Another finger begins to rub your clit. It’s meticulous and practiced and feels almost clinical. Your breath begins to stutter on cue, you feel yourself getting warm and wet, but it’s like your mind is blank even as the pleasure builds and builds.
You can feel yourself starting to lose control. Your thighs tremble so much you’re worried he might stop, your breath comes out heavy, and sweat begins to bead at the back of your neck.
You orgasm on his gloved fingers and he lets you ride it out, clenching his digit, before he removes it. He pulls off both gloves (he hides his distaste, at least you think so, and it makes your heart flutter) then tosses them into the DIRTY bin, and leans over to retrieve a clean pair from his nightstand.
Then he’s leaning over you and you finally feel the warm, firm press of his cock lining up against your entrance. 
It hurts at first. Uncomfortable with a dash of pain–you feel  too full, too tight. Enough to make tears prick at your eyes. But not for long. He did prepare you, after all, and it’s not long before the uncomfortable tightness gives way to a more pleasurable friction.
You want him to come undone. To look vulnerable. But he doesn’t, despite his thrusts getting faster, despite him pressing his palms against your wrists to keep you in place as he begins to grunt softly above you. 
“Relax,” he tells you, when he catches you staring. “You’re doing so well for your first time, aren’t you, angel?”
You want to correct him, but you know of the few options you have in a moment like this, it would be the worst one. So you nod and bite down a whimper when he thrusts particularly hard.
He’s in control, even now. Like always. It was silly to think you’d see him come undone above you, even like this. 
He finishes inside and kisses you for the first time during the whole evening during his afterglow. He coos at you, gloved fingers holding your chin, praising you for how well you did. 
After he pulls out, he quickly disposes of the condom in the DIRTY bin, along with his gloves. New ones get snapped on. 
He goes to the bathroom and returns with a clean rag and a bin of water, so that he can clean you up. He tells you to roll over on your side, explaining in calm detail what will happen now. “You’ll be sore,” he says, “and it might feel a little funny. Don’t worry about that. It will pass. It won’t be as strange the next time.” 
All you can do is pretend he’s right and listen to your breath hitch as he wipes you clean. 
You stare at the bins pushed up against his wall.  DIRTY, CLEAN. Which one would he put you into, if he tossed you over?
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