#apologies for badness of words
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
akanemnon · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I hope they also have a plan B.
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
3K notes · View notes
lordofryoshimacoast · 9 months ago
Text
Lmfaooo the amount of nonhumans and alterhumans who immediately cry that you need to be put into a mental hospital the moment you have a 'scary' symptom of mental illness is fucking insane.
I love you nonhumans and alterhumans with delusions
I love you nonhumans and alterhumans with intrusive thoughts
I love you nonhumans and alterhumans who are mean and aggressive when faced with what some may see as mild inconveniences
I love you nonhumans and alterhumans who need praise and validation to smile just once in their damn day
I love you traumatized nonhumans and alterhumans who react with rage
I love you nonhumans and alterhumans who experience 'gross' shifts
I love you nonhumans and alterhumans who have poor hygiene because of mental health
You guys deserve the fucking world and people who don't tell you to head to a mental hospital or to seek a doctor whenever you talk about yourselves.
Keep fighting, keep struggling, keep on moving. Make the world pay if it's given you a shit hand, don't ever lie on your back for anyone but yourself. Kill those who try and change you when you don't need the change.
1K notes · View notes
inkskinned · 2 years ago
Text
so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
10K notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
different POV of this comic
x
2K notes · View notes
itspileofgoodthings · 17 days ago
Text
one of many (many) reasons I love Austen so much is she makes goodness and virtue seem as sexy as they actually are.
304 notes · View notes
rageflippedtables · 17 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Part 1 / Part 2
359 notes · View notes
hey-hey-j · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
(sort of a companion piece to this)
older brother instinct
(★ my Kofi)
530 notes · View notes
idontcaboose · 5 months ago
Text
Luthor's Cricket part 5
Previous. Masterpost
Lex was able to distract the teen with a different documentary in the living room of his Penthouse. Said teen, however, made it loudly known that some of the information they were using was false, stupid, and downright biased. Granted, Lex was not paying attention when selecting the first documentary on the list. Apparently, it was a supernatural one called ‘All but Paranormal’ or something of the like. From the shouting, Lex could gather that they were able to interview Zatanna and Dr. Fate, Phantom took great exception to whatever Dr. Fate had to say about Ghost, Demons, and other supernatural creatures. Lex did bark a laugh at Phantom's remark of “Fate's biased view is just as blatant as that glaring beacon of a head!” and “If Fate is a Doctor, then I fear for the intellectual competency of the rest of the world! This means you too, Mr. Luthor!” Lex simply ignored the last part.
Oddly enough, even with the obnoxious commentary from Phantom and the absolute frustration of his magically inclined contacts ignoring him, it was not as tiring as he thought it would be.
“Phantom.” Lex called as he left his office. 
 “Yes, Boss?” Phantom paused the TV and turned to him with a small lopsided smile.
“Do you eat?” Lex asked. 
Phantom clearly did not expect the question with how his face displayed shock and confusion. “Uh, ya. I can eat human food. It's not needed, but it's nice to have. Why?”
“It is about time for dinner, I am thinking Foie Gras-” 
“Do all rich people eat such pretentious sounding food? Seriously, what is wrong with just burgers, burritos, and mac n’ cheese?” Phantom said with derision.
“Some people like to experience the finer things in life-” 
“When was the last time you enjoyed a “finer” thing that wasn't the direct cause of flaunting your power?” Phantom asked seriously. “Just one time.”
Lex…. He found himself at a loss. When Was the last time he actually enjoyed food for its taste alone. Most food prepared at the Galas were pretty cardboard at best. The high-end restaurants were better quality, but Lex only went to those as a power display, and even then, it was for a business deal or a ‘relaxed’ meeting of sorts. Even when he is home alone, he would order high value items so the staff wouldn't spread gossip about his ‘actual’ tates to the papers. The cooks he employed were fantastic at their jobs, the food was always flavorful and filling. 
But….
Probably the last time he actually enjoyed a meal was when his younger sister visited. She brought with her some greasy, cheesy mess of a burger wrapped in foil from a truck from the park across the street. She had laughed at his disgusted face and said “If it was good enough for Bruce Wayne and his kid to stand in line for, it's good enough for us!” 
That was about eight years ago.
After that meal, they had fought, and she stormed out. She has only contacted him through email for Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas. 
Lex ordered pizza from his cooks that night.
Next
311 notes · View notes
rainybraindays · 8 months ago
Text
Not to be that bitch, but if you're out here still saying Colin never apologized for the whole "I would never court Penelope Featherington" i think you need to maybe actually rewatch episode 1.
He very much does, as soon as he can once hes aware he hurt her. He addresses literally everything Penelope said hurt her about it. He says what he said was cruel and hurtful, he says that hes not embarrassed by her, he tells her hes changed and regrets doing something that hurt her. Its the most genuine apology anyone in this show has given.
How any of you have walked away from that seeing it as a fake apology makes me genuinely question what you think an apology is. Is he meant to fall on his knees crying and begging her to move on? Thats not an apology. Is he supposed to go "I'm sorry I fucked up, you're actually soso cool and so much better than me and everyone else" because thats love bombing.
Colin did it right, he came to her privately, apologized, addressed how he hurt her, reassured her he's not embarrassed of her and views her as his best friend, and said that he'd changed. Thats the correct way to apologize, thats how adults communicate. Everything that happened after that was in response to Penelopes frustration at her inability to be someone viewed as desirable in their society, and Colins want to prove how much he cares about her.
If we want to talk about non-apologies in this show, Colin is far from the first character in that line.
166 notes · View notes
sixteenthtry · 11 months ago
Text
THIS PICTURE ooh I need to be lobotomized with an electric screwdriver
Tumblr media
197 notes · View notes
feelingtheaster19 · 5 months ago
Text
Stop. Cause imagine even after Jason is back, dick still hallucinates baby Jason. It gets really worse after the reveal that Jason was the red hood.
Dick gets hit with some weird great value fear toxin dealers have been passing around through shipment yards and he gets stuck in the cross fire. It doesn’t pick up on his toxin scans so he thinks he’s fine till he falls asleep and all hell breaks loose.
TW: Bugs, Gore, Fear Toxin, Vomiting/Gagging
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
They were eating breakfast. Alfred had made French toast. Did it all fancy too with the strawberry, and fruit drizzle with some whipped cream. They were talking and laughing, Tim and Jason telling each other jokes. Both of the robins smiling brightly. Almost too bright. Bruce was smiling too..it felt weird. Almost like their mouths were being stretched to painfully far. Dick shook it off laughing softly at one of Jason’s puns. The younger boy munching away at his breakfast. Dick took another bite of his food, freezing mid chew. It..didn’t taste right. It was almost coppery. His own smile fell just slightly as he set his fork down finishing the bite. Glancing down at his plate, he felt weirdly nauseous. The usual fruit drizzle that had a few clear tint to it was solid red. Sticky..thick red. He spit his bite into his napkin, his stomach jumping causing a small retch to leave him. The bite of food in the napkin was old, nearly molded. A maggot wiggling its way out. Blood soaked into the napkin. He quickly dropped it scrambling up.
“What’s the matter N?”, A cheery voice chirped. Dick looked up eyes widening. Tim was in his chair head back, tears falling his mouth stretched into an impossibly wide smile, laughing over and over again. Bruce was not much different, except his own eyes were sunken. Almost empty. He turned to look at Jason, the child’s face morphed into something out of a horror movie. His head bleeding, eyes completely gone. Just a wide smile before he jumped for dick. He screamed scrambling back. He b-lined it for the door, struggling against hands grabbing for his legs. He kicked at them to get free, until they let him go. He toppled out the door and onto solid concrete. When did he get here? He looked quickly around the alley way, ducking his head when it started to rain. “Dickie?” The same small voice. His head darted up, eyes wide. He expected that same face that had lunged for him before. He was greeted instead with Jason.
The child was crying, bleeding. You could see where his head was struck, his leg twisted wrongly, bone sticking out. He reached for him with a sob. His baby brother..if he’d been faster- he could be faster now. He staggered up taking a step forward. Jason moved back. Dick took another step forward, the alley way elongated. He smelt smoke..why did he smell smoke? “Jason-“ He turned to see the young boy dancing with the flames. “Nono..not again no..” He walked faster, and faster, and faster till the walking turned into a jog, the jog turning into a run. The walls kept getting longer the more he ran. He tried to go faster, tried to get to him in time.** “JASON!!” He shout for him. Dick reached out, lunging forward. He hit the pavement with a grunt. Pushing himself up he saw the little Robin uniform laying there, in the blood. It was always blood..raining down..staining what were supposed to be colors. His families colors. What once was hope felt like an inescapable curse. He sat up on his knees a sob wrenching out of him. “This is your fault..all your fault.” The words echoed around him in a mantra. Words he couldn’t escape. “Stop..stop stop..shut up..shutupshutupshutup..SHUT UP!!” He screamed fingers tugging at his hair. He scrambled back against the wall, rocking back and forth. “Please..stop..please..” He sobbed, pressing his forehead into his knees, fingers yanking at his hair. Moving back and forth in the rocking motion. Only the pitter patter of the rain dropping around him.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
56 notes · View notes
that-fish-who-writes · 2 months ago
Note
hello.
.
.
.
*deep inhale*
KEEFITZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
...uhhhmm.
.
what's a keefitz...?
I don't think I've ever heard of such a thing :( sorrryyyy /j
anyways wanna see this cool drawing I made of a certain two characters? :3 !!
Tumblr media
#help why is the image quality so bad tumblr stop mess stuff up it looks fine in ibis paint#ignore my keefe design I don't usually draw him like that i've been drawing too many girls#anyways sorry fitz you don't get a face because I'm lazy :((#i don't feel like writing....#...IN THE TEXT THAT IS#I will now proceed to do this in the tags because I'm silly like that :3#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc#keefe sencen#fitz vacker#keefitz#my art#anyways I apologize for the formatting andQualityTumblr has a 30 tag 140 character limit (around 20 words) and hates commas so this was pai#“Keefe… wake up— love. We have to go to foxfire.” Fitz nudges Keefe. He yawns—before continuing to nest himself like an annoying puppy.#They’re sitting— or rather in Keefe’s case laying on Fitz’s floor in his room. Keefe bites his lip— rolling his eyes. “I’m sleepy.”HeMumble#running fingers in Fitz’s hair— messing it up.Fitz's heart skips a beat— freezing.“Let me rest…”Keefe continues.oh..They’re going to be lat#Fitz shoots him a dirty look and Keefe finally relents— sitting up and propping his back against Fitz’s. “Fine. fine.” he huffs. “I’m up.”#He looks up at Fitz glaringly. “Keefe love— don’t look at me like that.” Fitz mutters— pursing his lips together. “You’re such a mess.”#Keefe stiffens–Fitz looks in concern. “...I am—aren’t I?” “Keefe— I didn’t mean it like—”“No.It's true.” Keefe stands up softly asking“Why?#“Why what?” Fitz looks at the boy confused. “Why did you say yes?” Keefe whispers. “When I asked you to be my boyfriend?”#there were a hundred thousand signs—fifty thousand in one direction—fifty thousand the going the other. A hundred thousand signs...#..each telling him to say no... ...and Fitz still chose yes. There's a pause now before Fitz breathes. He holds Keefe close. Fitz is warm.#“Because I love you.” Fitz says softly sadly when Keefe doesn't know it. “...how?” “You're not unlovable Keefe.” beat. “Fitz..?” “...yeah?”#Fitz holds his breath. “Kiss me.” Keefe tells him and Fitz exhales. The boy turns bright red- leaning in and catching Keefe's mouth in his#And oh. Keefe is so-so beautiful.The way he loves. But isn't everything is?The way he hurts-laughs-lives.Keefe smiles. Fitz smiles. HELL YE#I HATE BEING CONCISE AUGH THE GRAMMAR IM DYING IM OUT OF TAAGS FORMATING WAS PAIN AND I WANNA WRITE MORE SOBS IM AN IDIOT WHYYYYY
27 notes · View notes
theunkn0wn-0 · 6 months ago
Text
The Gift of Immortality DRAGON BALL STORY: Insert Reader
GENDER-NEUTRAL READER ✕ DRAGON BALL CHARACTERS
Tumblr media
╰➤ ⌈ 𝑰𝑵𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑴𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵… ⌋ ╰┈┈➤ This is a FIRST PERSON POV story for the reader, Y/N, M/C. ╰┈┈➤ Instead of (Y/N), I use [First Name] for your name. ╰┈┈➤ Enjoy the story, have fun.
Tumblr media
PREVIOUS CHAPTER: 008 | 𝑪𝑨𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑺𝑰𝑺 FIRST CHAPTER: 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒖𝒆 — 𝑩𝑰𝑹𝑻𝑯 | 1
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
TRIGGER | CONTENT WARNINGS: COMPREHENSIVE & GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION WRITING OF VIOLENCE, GORE, and HEAVY ANGST!! Mentions of DEATH, MURDER, and PROFANITY!!!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
009 | The Weight of Conviction
❝All the bright, precious things fade so fast, and they don't come back.❞
•◉◓☆◓◉•
Goku drove my spine into the jagged earth, his weight pinning me as shards of rubble bit into my abdomen. Each movement sent bolts of pain through my body, my breath hitching with every jolt. His voice broke through the fog of my overwhelming emotions.
"You can't let this anger control you," he said, his words an anchor pulling me back to reality. "Don't you see? Look around you!"
My chest heaved as I froze, my gaze shifting to the barren wasteland surrounding us. The moon's cold, silver light bathed the wreckage in an eerie glow. Dirt and rubble stretched as far as the eye could see, scattered with the splintered remains of trees and the shattered fragments of the tournament stage.
The acrid stench of charred wood and scorched vegetation overwhelmed the faint memory of food, blending with the pervasive scent of death. The stench was unbearable, a nauseating blend that made my stomach churn.
An oppressive stillness superseded the cheers of spectators, amplifying the desolation. Smoke curled lazily from the blackened ground like a mourning shroud; each detail reminded me of the destruction Piccolo and I had unleashed, and something inside shifted. For a brief moment, the rage burning in my chest dimmed, leaving a hollow ache in its place.
"I..." My voice faltered, the words strangled in my throat; I swallowed hard, my mouth dry. The memory of terrified cries echoed in my mind, a haunting reminder of the lives I had extinguished. The reason for those lives was my insatiable need to exterminate Piccolo.
All because I wanted to survive.
The pain through my mangled arm was a brutal, throbbing ache; however, it was the anguish inside that cut deeper. The guilt was unbearable, gnawing at me like a living thing. The desire to break free, to finish what I had started, still clawed at me; now, it felt like an ember—persistent yet weaker. I arched my neck to scowl at Goku.
"Why are you stopping me?" I rasped, my words barely above a whisper.
Goku's grip loosened slightly. His dark eyes bore into mine, filled not with judgment but with something else: compassion. It infuriated me that I could feel the weight of his pity, provoking me to lash out and rip that look off his face.
        Was it really 'pity' he was showing?
"Because killin' him won't fix this," he said steadily, practically gently. His gaze flickered at our surroundings, then back to me. "Look at what's been lost. Do you really think more death is the answer?"
"You don't understand," I responded in frustration; my voice quivered, and I pulled away from his grasp, wincing as the broken bones in my arm ground together.
"I do understand," Goku firmly interrupted, yet his tone remained calm. "I understand more than you think. Revenge... it won't give you what you're looking for. It'll only take more from you."
I scoffed, shaking my head. The fury that once consumed me began to fracture, tinged with something I did not want to name—doubt. The warmth of his body against my back and the steady beat of his heart were a stark contrast to the coldness of the night and death around us.
"You're stronger than this," he continued. "I've seen it in our fight. There's a fire inside you, and it's not meant for mindless destruction."
"Let me go," I spat, yanking at my injured arm. The movement sent a fresh wave of pain lancing through me, and I barely registered it. "You have nothing to do with this!" My voice cracked under the weight of my irritation and distress. Regardless, something about the manner he spoke—the conviction in his tone, his eyes gazing into mine—made me hesitate, unsure if it was a ploy.
"Yes, I do have somethin' to do with this," Goku countered. "This isn't about you or Piccolo. This is about everyone. I have a friend, Kami; he's the guardian of this world. If Piccolo dies, Kami dies too. And without Kami..." He let the implication dangle in the atmosphere, heavy and unspoken.
Guardian of this world?
"You have a choice," Goku stated, his voice quieter now. His grip on my arm remained tight, though there was no malice in his touch, only a steely resolve.
"Is more bloodshed really what you want? Or is there another way to find peace?"
A hollow ache settled in my chest heavily. The question struck me, slicing through the brume of my wrath and the clamor of my jumbled thoughts. For a long moment, I said nothing. My mind raced, torn between the primal hunger to fight and the faint glimmer of reason Goku had ignited. I stared at him as his words pressed down on me, solemn and undeniable.
        Is there?
My heart thundered against my ribs, the sound deafening in the stillness. The ground beneath me remained hot from the battle, its scorched surface mirroring the turmoil roiling within. I wanted to scream, to unleash the storm of emotions at my throat.
Pain radiated from my broken arm, the bone grinding against torn muscle with every twitch as my shoulders tensed. Yet, even this agony paled against the torment that Goku's words had unearthed—my eternal existence. The constant nights spent evading capture, along with the maddening solitariness and the whispered taunts of my sanity.
Memories overflowed in, haunted by the faces of those I couldn't save and those who saw me as nothing more than a creature. I could almost hear their voices, a cacophony of misery, joy, and anger that lingered like ghosts in my head.
        I don't know.
The answer eluded me, lost in the storm of doubt and anguish as I averted my gaze from Goku. A sharp jolt of pain brought me back to the present, the scream I longed to release dying in my throat. It was swallowed by a suffocating blend of despair and outrage.
"You can't bring back what's been lost, and you don't have to destroy what's left," he said, his tone maddeningly calm. "There's always another way."
His sincerity pierced through my defenses, laying bare the vulnerabilities I had fought to conceal. I wanted to reject it, to shove him away and dismiss his words as a trick. But I couldn't move. My legs felt like lead, and my breath was shallow and strained.
"I know it's not easy," he continued, as his breath closed in. "Believe me, I've been there. I've fought battles that made me question everythin' I thought I knew. In the end, it's the choices we make that shape who we are." Goku's words stirred something inside me, a bitter ache I couldn't suppress. The lump in my throat grew unbearable.
"You're not alone," he said softer than I'd ever heard. It wasn't a command or pity. It was... human. "Not in this. But the choice... it has to be yours."
His words chipped away at my resentment, leaving me raw. For the first time in what felt like forever, I allowed myself to breathe, shaky and uneven. Everything came crashing down, a torrent of emotions I could no longer ignore. I finally looked at Goku, his gaze gentle and devoid of judgment.
It held an understanding. The kind that only came from facing your problems and choosing to rise above them. His hands pressed me against the fractured ground, rooting me in place. Under the dim moonlight, Goku's face stood out—a mixture of determination and kindness that unsettled me. Kindness I wasn't worthy of, not after everything I'd done. Not after the lives I'd taken, each one staining my soul.
Somewhere in the distance, faint energy signatures approached, pulling my attention—no doubt it was his friends; somehow, they survived. Their energies were faint but growing closer. I did not feel relief—not exactly. My paranoia rose to the surface, thoughts of warnings, scenarios, and contingencies they might see my identity. And then, just beyond the fog of my overthinking, I felt it: Piccolo's ki.
Weak, distant, but undeniably alive.
When I finally spoke, my voice was hoarse, barely carrying over the heavy silence. "Okay," I whispered, each word scraping against my pride as I forced myself to relent. "I won't attack. You can let me go now."
His grip loosened, yet his hands remained poised, ready to act at the slightest provocation. He studied me, his dark eyes boring into mine as though searching for any hint of deception; I met his gaze without flinching, masking my true intentions. After a pause, he nodded, a small, weary smile breaking across his face. Relief—perhaps even hope—flickered in his expression.
"Thank you," he said, his words laden with sincerity. "I know this wasn't easy."
Easy? He had no idea what I'd endured.
I didn't respond, staggering to my feet with slow, pained movements. Every fiber of my being screamed at me to retaliate, to reclaim the control I'd lost. Instead, I gritted my teeth and clutched my injured arm, tugging the shredded sleeve of my hoodie down to conceal the gruesome sight. My regenerative ability had already begun its work, stitching torn muscle and splintered bone back together with an unnatural efficiency that felt more invasive than natural.
Footsteps crunched against the rubble, followed by Krillin's voice cutting through the quiet. "Goku! Are you alright?"
Snippets of conversation from Yamcha and Tenshinhan reached my ears, mingling with the faint sensations of other approaching energies. I looked away to hide my face and my other hand tugged my hood to conceal me further, as my gaze was locked on Piccolo's unconscious form yards away. Seeing him vulnerable, so close to death, stoked the embers of my fury into a blaze.
I glanced at Goku, urgently speaking to his friends, likely explaining the situation. Their words blurred into meaningless noise; nothing they said mattered. My arm had fully healed, and with it, my resolve solidified. This wasn't over. A surge of energy erupted within me, my ki blazing like an unrestrained inferno.
The wind roared in my ears as I launched forward, my vision narrowing to Piccolo's prone figure—power burned in my palm, ready for the final, decisive blow. A wicked smile curved my lips, my target clear.
Before I could strike—
"No!" Goku's voice tore through the tension like thunder, jolting me from focus.
I barely registered his movement before his fist slammed into my face, sending me sprawling. Agony radiated through my skull as I tumbled across the ground, landing with a force that rattled my teeth. The air left my lungs in a rush, and the world spun as I came to rest on the jagged earth, my body a crumpled heap.
Momentarily, I lay there, dazed and disoriented. Pain surged through me, sharp and all-encompassing. Slowly, my regeneration kicked in, although it couldn't smother the anger igniting within, chasing away the haze of confusion. Snarling, I scrambled to my feet, only for Goku to pin me down with unrelenting strength that made my back pierce under the rocks.
"Why?" His voice trembled with frustration, though beneath it, I caught a faint trace of pleading. "Why are you doin' this? I thought we had an understanding! I don't wanna hurt you, but you're leavin' me no choice!"
Who the hell does this guy think he is, telling me what to do?
His hands gripped my shoulders, firm but measured, as if trying to reason with me instead of forcing my compliance. I glared at him, my chest rising and falling with uneven breaths. Fury boiled inside me, clouding my thoughts like a storm as I spat blood onto the dirt. The bitter taste burned like fire in my throat.
"He needs to die!" I shouted, cutting through the air like a raw, primal scream. My fingers curled around his arms, feeling the heat of his skin beneath my grip. "Piccolo is a monster, a reincarnation of his father. You don't know what his kind is capable of—he'll never stop until the world is his to control!"
I spoke from experience, from the scars King Piccolo left on me. They etched themselves into my very being, a constant reminder of the price of inaction. I couldn't let history repeat itself, not when I had the chance to end it.
Goku's gaze softened, his brow furrowing as he scanned my face. "I know you're angry," he said, his voice steady yet tinged with sorrow. "You're scared." My breath caught in my throat as the phantom weight of confinement pressed against my ribs, suffocating me. I shoved the thought away, refusing to let fear hold me.
"This isn't the way; it doesn't solve anythin' and it won't undo the past."
I barked a laugh, sharp and bitter, cutting him off. "Undo the past? Don't give me that bullshit. The past never leaves. It festers. It rots. And it always comes back." My voice cracked as I hurled those words at him, each one a shard of the pain I'd carried for hundreds of thousands of years. "I don't care about Kami or whatever he thinks. Maybe he would agree the only thing that matters is keeping the world safe from Piccolo. If that means I get my hands dirty, so be it."
Goku's eyes didn't waver. "This isn't you," he implores. "You're not a monster."
I froze, his words stirring something deep within. Briefly, shame flashed in the depths of my core; regardless, it was snuffed out by the tidal wave of wrath that followed. My eyes shifted to Piccolo's unmoving body, and my chest clenched with an overwhelming feeling.
"When he wakes up, what then?" My voice shook despite my efforts to control it. "What happens when he kills your loved ones? Are you willing to risk everything in the hope that he'll change?"
Goku's eyes locked onto mine, unwavering. "And what about you?" he asked quietly. "What happens if you do this? Will you be any different from him?"
That struck a nerve.
I wanted to scoff, to laugh it off—but his gaze pinned me in place. The weight of my actions crushed me. I had torn through the tournament grounds like a force of nature, leaving devastation in my wake. And what had it all been for?
"Get off me!" I shouted in a raw and desperate voice.
"Please," he urged. "Let me help you."
For a fleeting moment, I wanted to believe him. But the knot in my stomach tightened, and the shadows of paranoia crept in, louder than his words.
Did he think this was a game, or worse, some manipulative tactic?
"Will you shut up, goody-two-shoes?" Disdain laced every syllable, and my voice continued to crack, exposing the turmoil that churned beneath my defiant exterior. His unrelenting optimism was gasoline to the fire burning inside me. My grip tightened on his arm—not enough to hurt him. Not yet. I did not want to add another senseless death to the carnage I've wrought with Piccolo.
"You're dooming everyone with your childish idealism." My words lashed out, yet they felt hollow as if I were fighting a battle not just with him but with myself. I couldn't meet his gaze, choosing to focus on the devastation surrounding us. The tournament grounds stood as mute testimony to the destruction my rage had wrought—hundreds dead, their bodies crushed beneath my hands.
Will you be any different from him?
The question echoed in my mind, a cruel whisper from the recesses of my fragile mind.
Was I any different?
Finally, Goku loosened his grip and stepped back, giving me space. I pushed myself to my feet, brushing dust from my torn clothing as the phantom weight of his hands lingered. I ignored the urge to lash out at him, my muscles continued to scream in protest. My body could heal, but my mind was a different battle altogether.
"I'm sorry," he quietly uttered with an undertone of regret. "I can't force you to see things my way. I wish you'd think about it."
I gritted my teeth, a bitter sound scraping from my throat. "Think? About what? Sparing him so he can come back stronger? So he can destroy everything and everyone?"
Goku's eyes glanced at Piccolo's unconscious form, his face etched with concern. "He can change," Goku stated and turned back to me. "Everyone deserves a chance to change. Piccolo is part of this world, just like you an' me. Maybe he's done terrible things, it doesn't mean he can't change."
I swallowed hard, bile rising in my throat, and my jaw tightened. "And what happens if you're wrong?" My voice was low, sharp enough to cut. "What happens when he doesn't change?"
Goku opened his mouth to respond; however, I did not let him. "This is your issue now," I asserted strongly, closing the distance between us, and my finger jabbed hard into his chest. "If he kills again, it's in your hands. It's not mine. The blame is yours for sparing that brute's life."
He didn't get a chance to respond as I tightened my fist and delivered a forceful blow to his abdomen.
The impact reverberated through my arm, a sharp jolt coursing down my bones as Goku doubled over. The dull crunch reverberated through me, a disturbing blend of satisfaction and malevolence surging in its wake. His eyes widened, and the air left his lungs in a painful gasp. He staggered back, clutching his stomach, while shouts from his friends were muted by the relentless thrum of adrenaline coursing through me. My decision was made.
Without a word, I ascended into the sky, breaking the sound barrier. The wind roared in my ears and the icy air stinging my face as clouds scattered into thin wisps. Faintly, Goku's hoarse shout reached me: "Wait!"
I didn't look back.
I pushed higher, the broken landscape shrinking beneath me, and the people I left behind became a distant blur. Above the clouds, I dropped my energy, masking my presence and hiding myself from anyone who might try to follow. And then I was alone.
My chest heaved as the adrenaline began to fade, leaving behind a hollow ache once more. The icy wind brushed against my skin, biting through the layers of clothing and numbing me to the bone, but it wasn't enough to quiet my thoughts.
I flew through the open expanse, the pale moon casting its ghostly glow over the barren landscape below. Ragged mountains formed the earth like scars, their peaks shrouded in mist. The cold air smelled faintly of stone and frost, clean yet sharp, a scent that only seemed to amplify the emptiness settling within me.
Damn it, why did I run?
The thought churned in my mind, and my fists clenched at my sides, trembling as my nails bit into my palms. I should have stayed and fought until Piccolo was in ashes. The image of his twisted smirk burned into my mind as my stomach twisted.
That man doesn't understand. He never will.
My teeth ground together at the thought of him, his naive optimism, his faith in people—even monsters like Piccolo. He'd hesitated, giving Piccolo another chance to wreak havoc, and I'd allowed it.
What is wrong with me?!
The outrage resurfaced, hot and consuming, searing away the cold briefly. I needed to go back. I had to finish what I'd started and end the threat before it could grow. The idea ignited brightly in my heart, a singular focus that nearly drowned out doubt lurking from the edges.
No. I made the right choice.
I told myself, though the words rang hollow. My jaw tightened, the muscles in my face taut with tension.
Right?
The question lingered, and I shook my head violently as if the motion could dislodge the uncertainty festering within. Despite my attempts, it spread, winding through my mind like a slow, venomous tide as the familiar panic awakened.
Stupid! Stupid!
I mentally lashed out at myself, the self-loathing rising like bile and naming Goku's mindset as ridiculous. My flight became erratic, the wind jerking me as I wavered, trying to regain my focus to fly. I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing the thoughts back into the depths where they belonged.
•◉◒☆◒◉•
Finished: December 13, 2024 Published: December 25, 2024
I have reasons to publish this chapter instead the day I finished. During this month, some of you may have your finals/exams for your education or are busy preparing to meet your loved ones to celebrate the holidays; I wanted to give you all a chance to focus on your life. Since it's a break and a celebration on this day, this is a gift from me to you after everything that's been going on this year of 2024. Stay safe, and Happy Holidays!
— The_Unkn0wn_0
Tumblr media
PREVIOUS CHAPTER: 008 | 𝑪𝑨𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑺𝑰𝑺 NEXT CHAPTER: 010 | 𝑺𝑨𝑵𝑪𝑻𝑼𝑨𝑹𝒀 𝑶𝑭 𝑺𝑶𝑳𝑰𝑻𝑼𝑫𝑬
Tumblr media
LINK TO THE BOOK [WATTPAD]: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐈𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 — 𝙳𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚘𝚗 𝙱𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 If you're interested in stories like these, here is my 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
Tumblr media
37 notes · View notes
autisticlee · 5 months ago
Text
I hate when people tell me "friendships don't last/will change over time and fade away" and say I need to get used to/accept it. maybe that's easy for YOU. but most of these people also have committed partners that they expect to stick with for life. why can't I want that too? as an aroace person that needs to rely on platonic relationships to get the support and connection I need to thrive in life, and as an autistic and disabled person that needs consistency and routine and security and constant support to feel safe and comfortable to thrive in this society, telling me "people come and go/friendships aren't forever" REALLY HURTS. it feels awful. it makes me feel hopeless and even more alone. makes me feel like i'll always be drifting through life with no support and alone forever until I can't survive anymore because I *need* help and support and consistent companionship to live a healthy and stable life!
being aroace, I don't have the benefit of getting a partner to fill the gaps a lack of friendship leaves. I have no one to turn to when my friends disappear from my life or betray me. I have to rely on these unstable/inconsistent/short-lived relationships. it's not sustainable and makes my life extremely hard and scary and hopeless. so telling me it's "normal" and I should "get used to it" doesn't do anything for me when I need it to last for more reasons than everyone else uses friends for.
I know it's unfair/wrong to "trap" someone into a committed platonic relationship that makes them feel like i'm "trying to date them" (ive had this accusation thrown at me before, then the person ghosts me after) but I really do think I need a committed platonic relationship. one that lasts and one that's two way and secure and consistent. no one wants to offer that though. they save it for their romantic partners only. the sad reality is, romantic relationships are always going to be placed above, and even replace platonic ones. leaving me, an aroace who needs those discarded platonic bonds, out of luck and left out. forever alone, as the old tumblr meme once went (which i'm sure 99% of those people who used the meme are now i'm committed relationships and/or have at least dated a few times)
I know, i'll be told I need a "queer platonic relationship" but that's not as simple as going shopping and picking one out. I dont even know how you get one! that's as much of an enigma to me as dating and making friends! getting a platonic friend to commit to you're friendship for life and be your life partner and not drop you for no reason, as soon as they make a new best friend, or as soon as they start dating? sounds more impossible than simply making casual friends I can convince to play a video game with me once a month (im lucky if they give me time once a year.....or 3)
i've tried establishing with certain people I feel comfortable with and get along with well that I want and need this type of "qpr" but they either mistake it for asking them to date, are afraid of commitment and ghost me immediately, or slowly start to push me away and decide their new friends are better. so it's not something I can just "get" from any friendship i'm finding. i'm not even sure exactly what it would look like. the best I can use to describe it is the found/chosen family trope where a two or more people come together to form a family where they help and protect each other and live together for life. they don't date. they are more than friends. they are a family and need each other and rely on each other and it stays like that. but that often feels like it can only happen in fiction. real humans aren't like that.
however, i'm told by other chosen families/best friends/people in qpr that it is possible. so then comes the dreaded "one day" they all tell me about. (I don't want it one day I want it NOW. i'm living in the present not the future!) so I have a vague idea of what I want/need, but not what it actually looks like, how to find it, where to look, or how to cope without it. I need more than a couple friends I see and talk to once i'm a while. I need more than a group chat. I need more than someone I get coffee with every weekend. I need a roommate, a forever bond. someone I live with and have separate lives from, but also share our lives together at the same time. the perspn who supports me when i need it, the person I support at all times. but someone who doesn't expect romance and sex. someone who isn't looking for "something better" and using me as temporary filler until they get better friends or a partner. someone who doesn't give up and run away from commitment. someone who wants to stay in my life for the rest of life. someone who puts me first and is committed to me as I am to them.
a life partner, or small family group.
but so far I've just been stuck on my own and I dont have the patience or energy to keep waiting 30+ more years for this "one day" to come and I don't have any options to make it come faster....RIGHT NOW is more important and i'm struggling in the present.
sometimes being aroace really sucks....
29 notes · View notes
zappedbyzabka · 1 year ago
Text
He went FULL princess with the singing birds and sparkly eyes. “Hate you? My God, I could never.”
Picture him saying this to Daniel…
150 notes · View notes
waywardstation · 4 months ago
Note
I'm too much of a nervous bean to reach out not anonymously. But I wanted to say that your stories are my favorite iterations of Ingo and Akari and are what sucked me fully into submas. So thankyou and I look forward to seeing everything you come out with 😊
AHH thank you kind anon!!! ;w; <3 that means so much to me!! I’m also looking forward to getting more out!! I have so much I want to get out. I realize most of my writings that have most solidified how I currently write their dynamics are still not out yet. I have so much to get out and the most important parts of them I realize still are not public, so people can’t see the characters how I currently headcanon them.
I haven’t even posted anything yet that sets up the AU I’ve developed around them. It’s called Savepoint AU and it’s been in my head since 2023, regarding the tags I left in this post.
Tumblr media
It’s very important to the narrative leading up to everything in I Won’t leave You Behind, but I feel I cannot post about it until I get Rain Check and its accompanying sequel Entropy Syndrome out. One group of people knows a little about it and has seen art related to it but that’s it haha.
ANYWAYS these are where Ingo and Akari’s dynamics really shine and I am hoping I can pull it together enough soon to be satisfied with the smaller details and get it out. I don’t want to rush it or I know it’ll bug me forever, as I feel that way about some stuff in HFBE haha. (DW I will fix these eventually)
Once again thank you anon!!! I’m so happy you like my work specifically, and I’m looking forward to getting more out!
36 notes · View notes