#b) while this reflects the mores of the day mostly

[triviareads]

I saw a post yesterday in a certain HR fandom that basically said the heroes having love interests/women they slept with before the heroines was tantamount to cheating and it was unfair because the women couldn't do the same.

[doitforbangchan]

All Bark and No Bite 09

Yall this has to be my best chapter yet. So romantic, i really shocked myself here. Please enjoy :) The middle pic is what I imagines omega to be wearing but does not represent the body type of all readers!

Masterlist

Series masterlist

Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8

ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe

Previous - Next

Series Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, verryyyy nsfw, chan x reader, OT8 x reader, A/B/O, m/m/f smut, possessive! SKZ, possessive! Reader, anxiety and depression, reader is a CRYBABY, fluff, angst, virgin!reader,  cursing, violence, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, Sub reader x mostly dom SKZ, misogyny and sexism, Ateez are depicted as terrible people (sorry Atiny!) 

Chapter Warnings: cursing, crying, fluff, smut ,oral- f receiving, fingering, protected piv (ik crazy for me lol)

WC:5.6k

MDNI 18+

The birds outside woke you up this morning, the sound of their sweet melodies peacefully bringing you out of your much needed slumber. The sun was barely rising over the mountains so you knew it was still very early. The alarm clock next to you read ‘5:44 am’. You knew Chan was laid behind you, his heavy arm curled over your figure, holding you close. 

You took a moment to appreciate the feeling of being trapped by him - of his warmth. This was quickly becoming your favorite pastime; laying here with him just enjoying his presence. A part of you wanted nothing more than to lay here all day, wasting away with him. A bigger part of you needed to be productive. You had slept away most of the day yesterday and were feeling quite energized from the rest. 

Chan did say last night that you had things to do today, so why not get this show on the road! It would be a nice surprise for the pack to wake up to a clean house and hot breakfast. First things first- getting out of the alphas hold on you. You shimmied against him, lightly lifting the appendage that held you hostage to squeeze out. You paused when you heard him sigh in his sleep, only to resume when he let out a snore. Cutie pie. 

You grabbed the pillow that you had been laying on and jammed it in place of where you rested previously, in Chans hold. The alpha must have smelled you on the pillow since he pulled it closer to his body. 

After doing your business in the bathroom you went on the hunt for cleaning supplies. You crept through the halls opening doors you knew to be closets until you finally found the supplies in a closet on the first floor. Upon finding them you immediately got to work. 

Starting with dusting, then sweeping and mopping the entire first floor. After that you did all the available bathrooms and then finished with a quiet clean of the top two floors. The kitchen would come after you made breakfast. Surprisingly it only took you until about 8:00 am to get all that done. You felt very efficient! To your surprise none of the boys have awoken yet. You didn’t hear one peep while cleaning. 

You also took the time to add more comfort items to the living spaces. The omega in you begged to make it more nestable so you did. Adding blankets, extra pillows and even a few of your new stuffed animals to couches and chairs. The goal was they would start to retain the smells of your new packmates then you could cuddle the items without shame. 

Next you wandered into your own room. All the bags from yesterday remained there untouched. Sorting through you put away all your clothes and picked out a nice outfit for today. It was almost summer time so you knew it would be warm today and opted for a green floral cami dress that went just above your knees. Minho must have picked this out for you, but it was so so cute you had to wear it. It was just your style. Grabbing the dress and some panties you went to take a shower and to finish getting ready for the day. 

The shower was where you did your best thinking. A place to escape just you and your thoughts. As you washed your hair and body with the strawberry scented products you reflected on the whole pack. If you were a sane person it would scare you just how comfortable you are getting with the pack in such a short amount of time. And how comfortable they are with you. 

But you’re not a sane person. You’re an omega in love. All sanity is thrown out the window when you find your mate. All you want is to be perfect for him. And in turn also for the whole pack. 

There was a blow dryer and curler amongst your things in your room as well as makeup you had chosen while shopping so when you came out you were able to fully get ready for the day. You felt very cute today, you didn’t have any reason to look super nice back when you were with your family seeing as you rarely were allowed to leave the house- and if you did leave never would you have been allowed to wear a dress or anything remotely revealing. Fathers orders. 

You hoped your alpha and pack would like it on you. You straightened yourself up before heading down to cook. It was nearing 9:30 so you hoped they would start getting up any time now. 

Down in the kitchen as you were gathering ingredients you noticed a small sound system attached to the wall and a remote sitting on the island. Grabbing the remote you pressed the power button and when you saw the small light indicating it was on you pressed play. Out came the melodies of a familiar band. 5 Seconds of Summer? Whoever is hooked up to this obviously has great taste! 

That was where Seungmin found you, whisking eggs and belting out the words to ‘She looks so perfect’ and he couldn't agree more. ‘She does look perfect’ He thought to himself. He stood there leaning against the wall admiring you for a solid 2 minutes before you noticed him, suddenly being able to smell another person around you spun around in embarrassment at being caught like that. 

“Seungmin!” 

He cracked a smile at you, eyes scanning you up and down before settling on your reddened face. “Hey baby. Whatcha doin?” 

You turned away from him to try and hide the blush that seeped onto your cheeks, “Nothing. Just trying to get breakfast together. What are you doing?” 

He shrugged “Been up for a few minutes when I heard a commotion in here. The house looks really great. Was that your doing baby?” You felt him approach you while you nodded. 

“Umm yeah, I woke up early and wanted to get some things done for you guys.” You continued to whisk the eggs without looking at him. 

“Mmm” He reached for your face, turning you towards him, “ It is greatly appreciated, omega.” 

You let out a squeak when he called you that, causing a smirk to appear on his face.

 Seungmin could smell how pleased you were so he didn’t give it another thought before he leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss directly on your lips. He pulled away and licked his own lips still gazing into your shocked eyes. 

“How long until food is ready you think?” He asked. You couldn’t believe how nonchalant he was being right now after he just kissed you!! 

‘Should I pretend my heart isn’t beating out of my chest?’ You wondered. 

“ A-about 20 minutes.” Dammit you stuttered! Get a grip! You mentally scolded yourself. 

“Perfect. I'll wake the pack”  He said it with an evil smirk, looking forward to the task. 

-----------------------------------

Wake the pack he did indeed. By playing police sirens on his phone and bursting into everyone's rooms cackling when they swore at him and dodging thrown pillows (and one stuffy from Felix). If you had known he was going to do that then you would have woken them yourself! Though admittedly it was pretty efficient, since it was a matter of minutes until the rest of your pack made their way downstairs, looking tired and grumpy. 

The grumpiness left every single one of them though, when they caught eyes on you. Looking oh so delectable in your little dress cooking for them. What a perfect thing to awaken too. 

Not that you noticed much, you were still caught up on the feeling of Seungmins lips on your own. Each boy greeted you as they came down, most giving you hugs - except Changbin who not only hugged you but did his signature of lifting you from the ground. 

When Minho had come down you thanked him for the dress. He knew you would look great in the outfit and damn he was right. 

“You’re welcome, Baby. It looks good on you.” He replied and gave you a wink

Chan came down last as you and Minho were setting the table, looking freshly showered. 

“There's my sweet girl. I was wondering where you wandered off too.” the alpha kissed your temple. He took the stack of plates from your hands and continued your task. 

“Good morning Channie.” You reached back for the plates but he shooed you out with a smack to your rear. 

“Nuh uh looks like you’ve done enough. Sit down and get some food, omega.” He raised his brows at you when it looked like you were about to protest. You begrudgingly took a seat in your normal spot. Chan gave you a pleased smile. “Good girl.” 

Once the whole pack was sat together you all discussed each other's plans. Changbin was hitting the gym (what was new there), Minho wanted to get more food for the house and Felix wanted to join him to the store, while Hyunjin had his weekly art class he teaches at the community center every wednesday afternoon. 

“What are you up to today, baby?” Jisung asked with a mouth full. 

“Oh, I don’t actually know.” You looked to Chan for the answer. 

He wiped his mouth with a napkin, “Well you have an appointment in about an hour to see a doctor, we need to make sure everything is okay after you got off the suppressants. Then we’re heading over to the police station to clear up your missing persons status.” 

You were confused. “I have a missing person status?” 

“You ran away from home, Baby. Ran away from Hongjoong, who probably paid a pretty penny for a sweet girl like you. Makes sense they would look for you.” Jeongin reasoned nervously. The youngest alpha would never admit it but he was honestly scared about the Ateez pack coming for you or Chan. It was weighing on a few of their minds. 

Chan could sense the uneasiness in the room. “But we’re getting it taken care of today. I already have it all ready to go, just need you to sign a few things and you'll be golden. No more worrying about Hongjoong.” He smiled with that predator's smile he had. His words brought you some ease, and you nodded at him. His next words though, shook you to your core.

“Plus, if that asshole did decide to show his face around here I would take care of it.” 

--------------------------------------------

After dropping off Hyunjin and Changbin at their respective locations you and Chan headed for the doctors office. Chan had assured this man was very good at his job and could be trusted. 

Doctor Bong had been Chan's doctor for years, and before that had been childhood friends with the alpha. He was a friendly beta man, albeit younger than any doctor you had ever seen, and he did his best to help you relax with small talk as he examined you. Even though you’re the first real omega he has treated he still had some knowledge as he had to do a course on omegas in medical school. 

“Given how long you had been on the suppressants I am going to need a small blood sample to examine.” Dr.Bong said woefully at seeing your expression. “ I know it’s not ideal, but you had been on some pretty powerful drugs, Y/n.” 

“Not to mention illegal.” Chan muttered scornfully. 

Bong nodded “Yes that too. There's a reason you can’t just pick up a prescription for them. They could cause a lot of damage and we need to be sure you’re functioning correctly.”  

Your alpha grabbed your hand and released a calming pheromone to relax you. “This is to help you, baby.” 

You took a deep breath and prepared for the needle. Chan was laying his scent on thick, it now taking over all your senses completely distracting you from the blood draw. You were so wrapped up in him that you didn’t notice the draw had been done until Dr.Bong was putting a bandage on you. 

You snapped out of the daze when Dr.Bong exclaimed “All done! We will send this into the lab asap and get back to you by tomorrow morning at the latest. From what I can tell so far though your body is functioning pretty normally, maybe just your hormones are a little wacky. I would refrain from any.. Unprotected fun until we get the results in to be sure.” He looked pointedly at Chan. 

“Damn” Chan smirked and you gasped in embarrassment.

“Chan!!” 

He only laughed at your mortification. 

“Before you go” Bong said, “If everything checks out alright are you going to need a prescription for non hormonal birth control?” 

You were too shy to answer correctly, only nodding when Chan said “Yes please Bong. Wanna have some time with my girl before we have babies.” 

As you were checking out with reception Chan thanked the Doctor. 

“I appreciate you getting us in to see you at such short notice Bong.” The alpha bro hugged his friend. 

 “Anything for you, Chris. I am so happy you found your person. I’ll keep you updated as soon as I get the results in.” 

“Thanks man.” He saw you approaching him, “Ready to go gorgeous?” 

You smiled happily, now that the hard part for you was over, “Yes alpha!” You turned to the doctor “Thank you Doctor Bong!” 

Your alpha grabbed your hand and you were off to your next stop. 

-----------------------------------

The people at the police station had the paperwork ready for you upon your arrival. They just had to ask you a few questions regarding your safety, you signed the document stating you were in fact not missing and that was that. 

It felt like a massive weight had been lifted from your shoulders, Chans too by the scent coming off of him. 

The sheriff congratulated Chan on finding his omega, clapping him on the back in a fatherly way. It seemed like everyone in town knew the alpha. It had been explained to you that Chan's family had lived in the town of Silver Ridge for generations, helping to cultivate it and protect it. His family owned the property you now live on, only now it belonged solely to your alpha. He had grown up here. His parents left the small town  with him and his siblings when he was a teenager, wanting a change of scenery. Chan had only returned when he was an adult and his grandfather had passed, leaving his massive home to your alpha. 

He had a stake in his family business of buying and selling massive commercial properties, so he was very wealthy. Though he didn’t flaunt it.To him it was just one of the ways he provided for his pack.  Not that you cared if he had money or not. You loved him for him, not his money. 

After the police station there was still about an hour before you were supposed to pick up Hyunjin and Changbin so Chan took you to a little diner down the road where he claimed they made ‘the best chili fries ever’ and that you had to try them. 

He dragged you to an old booth in the corner, his normal spot he claimed, and ordered a massive plate of chili fries and each of you a milkshake. 

As he ate you just admired him. It was crazy how handsome he was, even with a mouth full of fries his beauty was effortless. He caught your eyes and grinned at you. 

“What are you looking at, beautiful?” 

You looked down ashamed you had been caught staring “Nothing.” You glanced up at him to see him still looking at you in amusement. “You’re just really handsome is all, Channie.” 

He chuckled at your words “ And you are too sweet, my gorgeous girl.” 

You felt the mating claim on your neck tingle at his compliment, so subconsciously  you raised your hand and lightly touched the area. Of course Chris noticed- he never took his eyes off you- and asked in concern “ Does it still hurt?” 

“No, just..” There was that blush again. He patiently waited for you to find your words. “Just whenever you say sweet things to me.. It.. tingles.” 

The alpha let out a small growl at your admittance, feeling his pants tighten. 

“Does yours do that too, alpha?” you asked tentatively. 

“Tingle wouldn’t be the word I would use, baby. But I definitely feel the connection in my bite.” He winked at you. 

“W-what does yours feel like?” 

His stare was piercing into your soul, “Baby. I burn for you.” You gasped as he continued “ It's this ever present heat that dwells within me whenever you are near me.  As if I had been living in a tundra my whole life never knowing warmth and now I’ve suddenly been transported to the desert. Inescapable and all encompassing.” 

Oh my fucking GOD 

Did he really just say that?! 

What the fuck do I say to that? 

You were short circuiting. You just couldn’t believe this perfect specimen of a man was spilling his heart out to you, in a public diner no less! 

Your pleased scent was cascading off of you in waves at this point, Chan could see the other patrons start to turn to look at you, nostrils flaring. He noticed one alpha man in particular start to fidget in his seat while gazing at you. 

Chan narrowed his eyes as if challenging the other male before addressing you, “Time for us to go now, my love.” He threw down a few 20s on the table and stood, grabbing your hand and leading you out. Your alpha was pumping out menacing pheromones, letting others know he wasn’t one to fuck around with.  

You finally caught onto what was happening when you saw heads turning to watch you walk out. You clutched harder onto Chan, holding his arm close to you as he led you out. 

“ ‘m sorry.” You murmured as you exited the restaurant, climbing into the car as he held the door open for you. 

He leaned down and pressed a hot kiss against your mouth, letting it linger for a second before he pulled away. 

“Don’t apologize. Not your fault those bastards can't keep their eyes or their noses to themselves.” He gave you a tight smile at you before closing the door once he was sure you were secure. 

You couldn’t help but feel like you soured the mood, the guilt beginning to feel like a pit in your stomach. Chan climbed into the driver's seat next to you and started the car. He knew you felt bad about what happened. “Seriously Baby, it’s no big deal. It was about time to go pick up Jinnie and Bin anyways.” He gave you another kiss and you were off. 

----------------------------------

Your mood improved slightly after picking up the other two boys, they always brightened your day. Changbin was still slightly sweaty when he got in the car, his musk making you dizzy. As if he could tell he gave you a wink when you looked at him in the folding mirror. 

Hyunjin had a large canvas with him that was covered in a sheet blocking anyone from seeing what lies underneath. When you asked him what he had made he blushed and held the canvas close to him, muttering that it was a surprise. Of course Changbin would never let that slide so he relentlessly teased the beta, tugging on the sheet and whining about needing- not wanting - to see it. Hyunjin held his ground and refused each time, slapping the alphas hands away after every tug. 

Arriving home Changbin flung his door open and opened your door for you before Chan could, giving his alpha a sly smile when you thanked him. “Ever the gentleman, aren't you Binnie.” You teased him. He nodded enthusiastically. 

Jisung greeted you at the front door when you walked in, planting a wet smooch on your cheek causing you to squeal and laugh, pushing him away. “Jisung!” 

“Mm say my name again baby.” He leaned in for another kiss but instead licked your cheek quickly then ran away cackling maniacally. 

“AHH JISUNG!” 

 You went to chase after him but were stopped by Hyunjin grabbing your arm gently. 

“Ignore him baby, I do.” 

You huffed. “Fine.” 

The beta snickered and lowered his hand to hold yours, the other still gripping his canvas. “Can I show you something? In my room.” 

You nodded “Of course.” He led you up to his room. Chan gave your rear a pat when he passed you. 

You had never been in Hyunjins space before. The space was so…Hyunjin. Cream colored sheets and curtains, a big easel by the wide bay windows, shelves lined with paints and mountains of sketch books, and floral paintings covered the walls from floor to ceiling. His bed was unmade but it somehow added to the charm of the room. An artist's room. 

He closed the door behind you, and led you to take a seat on his bed. The beta then took the canvas in his hands - still covered- and placed it on his easel. He turned to you and fiddled with his hands. You gave him a patient look, waiting for him to gather himself. 

“Promise you won't laugh.” He states. 

You made an X over your heart. “Cross my heart, I won't laugh.” 

He let out a nervous breath and then tore the sheet from over the artwork. 

You weren't prepared for what lay underneath, a gasp leaving you. 

It was you. Hyunjin had painted you. In the exact outfit you were wearing now. He made you look ethereal. Capturing your image in a way that felt too perfect. In the painting you were sitting by an open window looking out into a field of flowers. 

“Oh my god, Hyunjin.” 

He studied your features, looking for any signs of displeasure. He found none. 

“I was teaching a class today and the topic we worked on was things that bring you joy.” You looked at him like you were going to cry, tears on your lash line. “The only thing I could think of was you. Of how effortlessly beautiful you are.” 

A sob escaped your lips involuntarily. The betas eyes widened in panic, upset he had done something wrong. He rushed to your side and took your hands in his own. “I'm sorry baby! I’ll get rid of it!” 

“No!” You demanded, still crying. “ I can’t believe you think of me this way. It’s so beautiful, Jinnie. Way too beautiful to be me.” 

He shook his head disagreeing. “ This is how I see you, baby. To me you are the most beautiful girl in the world. I can feel myself falling for you.” 

You acted without even thinking about it, and crashed your lips into his. He let out a noise of surprise and you pulled back quickly. 

“I am so sorry Hyun-” Before you could finish your sentence he kissed you again. He let go of your hands and brought them up to cup your face, deepening the kiss. He swiped his tongue along your bottom lip asking for permission which you gladly granted, parting for him. He tasted so sweet. Like rock candy, or a jolly rancher. Similar to his scent. It drove you crazy. 

He was the first to pull away, your lips chasing his. “You don’t know how badly I’ve wanted to do that.” He rested his forehead against his own, eyes closed and breathing heavy. 

You released your own shaky breath, his thumbs wiping away your tears. “I thought you were going to yesterday, when you left me in front of my door.” 

“I wanted to. I just didn’t know if you wanted me like I wanted you. Like I need you.” He could smell the sudden flare of arousal emanating from you. 

“ I do, Hyunjin. I need you too. It’s still taking some getting used to that it’s ok for me to need you, but I do. I think I’m falling for you too.” You were honest with him and he rewarded you by nuzzling his nose into yours, giving it a peck. 

“I won’t do anything to make you uncomfortable, baby.” Though if your smell was any indication you were quite enjoying yourself. 

You shook your head, “I’m not uncomfortable Jinnie. In fact I.. I want more.” 

“Oh baby.” Hyunjin purred then reattached his mouth to yours and he lightly leaned you back to lay on his bed, hovering above you while he kissed you. He stuck his tongue back into your mouth, massaging your own with the wet appendage. 

You let out a squeak when you felt his hand find your thigh, his warm fingers running up and down your skin. Your own hands found the front of his shirt, tugging him closer to you. You felt yourself get drunk on the taste of him. 

He slid his hands up to your hips, under your dress, and he drummed his fingers there. Without removing his lips from your skin he peppered kisses from your lips to your chin and down your neck, the opposite side from your mating mark. 

“Tell me to stop.” He said in between kisses. “Tell me to stop before I go too far.”  

“I don’t want you to stop.” 

“Omega.”  His right hand traveled from your hip to your clothed core, thumbing over the wet patch. “Already so wet for me, huh? I haven't even touched you yet. My dirty girl.” You could feel him smirk against your skin, his kisses turning sloppy and wet.  

He rubbed against the wet patch through your panties, pushing the material between your folds and stimulating your bundle of nerves. 

A small moan slipped from you and you bit your lip. By now your slick was building quickly, completely soaking the fabric. 

The beta hummed at feeling it. “I can feel you starting to wet my fingers, baby. Can’t let all that goodness go to waste, can we?” He cooed rhetorically. 

Hyunjin laid one more suckling kiss to your chest (that will surely turn into a hickey) then he scooted himself down your body and bunched up your dress to sit over your hips. He finally got a good look at your soaked panties- a pair of green lacy ones. ‘Fitting’ He thought. 

He was drowning in the scent of your arousal, being this close was like a slap in the face. He could taste it before he even got his mouth on you. Hyunjin looked up at your red, panting face one last time before closing his eyes and licking up the wet patch on your underwear. He let out the filthiest moan he had ever made when he made contact. In turn making you moan too. 

“Ji-jinnie.” 

At the sound of his name he reached up and pulled your panties down your hips just enough to lick you with no barrier, then he dove in with his tongue. He swiped it up and down your folds, over the slit, collecting the liquid that leaked from you, drinking it like he was parched. Like he was dying of thirst. 

Your hands found his hair and you yanked in pleasure, your back arching. He took that as his invitation to go further, slithering his tongue to circle your clit where he wrapped his lips around it and suckled. 

A whine tore through you, so good but wanting more. 

“Jinnnnie please” 

He hummed in response, the vibrations flowing straight through to your core. 

“Nnnnnggghh” you groaned. 

He humored you and brought two fingers up to your opening, coating himself in the slick, before pushing in slowly up to the last knuckle. 

Your panting got louder at the intrusion. You were finding it difficult to keep quiet with how good it felt, the whole pack probably knows by now anyway. Not that you cared right now, but later you would be mortified. Oh well that was a problem for later. 

He gave you a second to adjust, feeling you clench on his fingers every time he licked your bundle, before easing the digits out slowly then back, a steady motion that gradually got quicker as he went. Soon enough he found the perfect rhythm where your moans got the loudest. He paid attention to things like that. 

Your thighs were beginning to shake from the pleasure, you knew if he kept it up you would tip into oblivion. 

“Jinnie ‘m gonna cum.” You pulled his hair in warning. He stayed steadfast, if anything he licked harder trying to get you there. After only a few more thrusts of his fingers you came with a cry, hips bucking against his face and hands knotted in his blond locks.

‘Damn she sounds divine when she comes’ He mused in his head, instead letting a moan of his own escape him at the taste of your cum and the sweet sounds you made for him. 

He pulled his fingers out of you and lifted his face to show you the wetness that covered the bottom half of his face. Then he made a show of sucking those same fingers into his mouth, eyes rolling when they hit his tongue. 

“Hyunjin!” You squealed and hid your face, “That's so dirty!” 

“Only for you, baby.” It hurt how sincere he was. “Do you wanna continue, or was that enough? I don’t wanna push you too far.”

Even though you were a little sensitive from the last few days you still wanted him. “ Wan’ you Jinnie. Need you.” 

He stood quickly to pull down his pants and underwear, revealing his length to you. It was so pretty. Long but on the slimmer side. Drool worthy. 

He removed his bottoms from himself completely, and pulled his shirt up over his head letting you get a good look at his slim but fit figure. He was tan like he had been in the sun recently. He reached into his bedside table for a condom, remembering what his alpha had said about not cumming in you. Yet. He quickly rolled it on. 

He got back on the bed and crawled up your body to hover over you, where he then gave you a peck on the mouth. “Are you sure, baby?” 

“Yes. Please Hyunjin.” you purred. 

He groaned “You’re gonna kill me one day.” 

The beta took himself in his hand and lined himself up, sweeping through the liquid to coat him, then slid inside inch by inch, giving you time to adjust to him. 

Your arms came to wrap around his bare shoulders, a long drawn out moan in his ears like the most beautiful melodies. 

You were so warm inside, and you gripped him like a vice so tightly he almost stopped breathing. After a beat he gave you a gentle thrust, then another and another, going deeper with each one. He took one of your thighs and wrapped it around his waist to press himself further into you, letting you feel his weight. If he died now he would die a happy man, having gotten a taste of what it’s like to be with you.

With each thrust you let out small high pitched noises, unable to contain them. Not that Hyunjin wanted you too. It wasn’t long before you were close to the edge once again. You were still worked up from the last one. 

Hyunjin could feel his impending orgasm but he needed you to come first. He brought two fingers up to your mouth and ran them along your lips gathering the drool that was accumulating there. Then he took those same digits and lowered them between your bodies to your clit, where he rubbed hard figure 8s. 

That seemed to be all you needed, your arms tightening around him as you came hard on his cock. Your eyes screwed shut as you moaned.

When you came you clenched hard. Hard enough to push Hyunjin to orgasm, he crashed his lips into yours and he shook against you as he filled the condom. 

For a few minutes he just held you there against him, both of you breathing hard. He wasn’t an alpha so he didn’t have to worry about a knot and was able to slip out if you easily. He held the condom secure as he did so, then stood up and quickly took it off and disposed of it in the trash can in the corner. 

You were still panting but coming too as he stood up. Can’t believe that just happened. There was a twinge of guilt for it, but that was quickly replaced with peace when Hyunjin gave you that signature grin with his pouty lips. 

He came back to his bed where you were still laying and plopped down next to you, giving you a kiss. “How was that, baby? Are you feeling ok?” 

“Mmhmm” You answered, snuggling up to the beta, needing the after sex comfort. 

“I hope you don't regret it.” His voice was timid now, as he put his face in your hair. "Don't regret me."

“No Hyunjin, of course not. I could never regret you.” There was zero hesitancy in your voice so he knew you were telling the truth. Chan had given you explicit permission, encouraged it, so there was nothing to regret. It felt good to be loved and wanted by these boys. Hyunjin definitely made you feel that way. 

He showed it by taking care of you now, getting up to grab you some water and a fresh pair of underwear from your room. Then he plopped down next to you once again and engaged in some cuddles. You could get used to this. 

A/N: Finnnnaallllyyyyyy getting some action from the other boys >:) I am so damn proud of this one yall idekkkk. These chapters are quickly becoming more and more self indulgent lol sorry

Beta read by the lovely @ayejaii thank you bumble <3

Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

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Sorry if your tag isn't working!! Im trying my best :(

[sweetimpurity]

Beach day fluff! Had to get this out of my drafts! Too bad summer is ending ;(

I love imagining Miguel coming out of the water glistening and perfect, drinking beer in the pool and playing with Gabi in the water at the beach. But after thinking about it, I think that Miguel would actually be a huge ‘poolside princess’

It would apply to both being at the pool with him and going to the beach. Even if you’re going with Gabi and the group, Peter and Mj with their kids and Jess with her family too. Maybe even Gwen and Miles join as well, the whole gang could be there. And he’s watching them all splash and play in the water and in the sand, all from the comfort of under the umbrella.

It took you literal days to convince him to come to the beach with everyone. It was a planned day and originally you were just going to take Gabriella and meet up with everybody else.

He gave you a list of reasons why he didn’t want to go but you asked him again and again and it finally came out. He didn’t want to feel left out.

“So come with us, we want you to come” You insist. An easy answer to the problem. “No, it’s better for me to just stay here. I’m a buzzkill at the beach, believe me.” He insists. You don’t believe him. And you keep trying to accommodate him and make him feel comfortable. He’s your husband, of course you want him to be included and feel comfortable at the same time.

It’s the heat. Miguel gets so hot and then he gets irritable and angry and frustrated. So he’s given up on trying to have fun at the beach. You’re determined to change that. You bought a new umbrella and new beach chairs this year. You brought cold water and cut up fruit in the cooler.

Gabriella couldn’t be more excited that her father is joining everyone. She bounds with excitement as you’re all getting ready. You’re helping her into her lilac bathing suit and trying to put some sunscreen on her little face to protect her baby skin. Miguel helps you pack everything into the car and grab Gabi’s swimming stuff from the garage.

And when you make it there, meeting Peter B and Mj, Jess and her husband and all the little ones running around, you set up shop and open the umbrella, insisting to your slightly grumpy hubby that everything will be fine and he’ll be comfortable. He keeps his darkest sunglasses on because thats the other thing. The sun is so harsh on his eyes. That’s why he keeps the lights mostly off in his office. His eyes are so sensitive to light and the sun reflecting off the water is like knives to his corneas.

And it’s also been so long since he’s been to the beach that he hasn’t really gone swimming in a while. Probably convinced himself that the water will be too cold and overstimulate him too.

“There’s a breeze, baby…” You smile, trying to make it seem fun and like he won’t have a horrible time. It’s not that he wants to be a grump, it’s just that he knows he’s not fun at the beach and he doesn’t want to ruin the day for everyone else. “You just sit and relax, okay? If you’re hot let me know…” you hold his face, pecking his smiling lips before turning to meet Gabi by the water and he gently slaps your bum on the way over. He couldn’t resist. You’re wearing that bathing suit he really loves.

Giggling and glancing back at him as you’re walking away and catching that smile on his face. Oh yeah. You’re determined to make him have fun today.

You, Peter B, Gabi and Mayday all make a huge sandcastle with a moat and are decorating the walls with seashells that the kids found. Miguel watches, smiling and feeling the slight breeze on his skin from the safety of the shade. It’s still hot but he’s not burning up and your kindness and care makes him feel a million times better anyway. He's really grateful for your patience.

“Papa! Come in the water please please porfi!” Gabi squeals, running over to him with her floaties on her arms, grabbing his large hand and trying to pull him up. He coos to her in soft spoken Spanish and you shake your head grinning, walking up to the both of them under the umbrella. “Gabi girl… let Papa stay cool okay?” You try to urge your daughter, but seeing Miguel get up surprises you.

“Yeah, I’ll come in.” He says it like it’s nothing. “You will??!” You and Gabi both squeal in unison. It’s like a miracle, neither of you can believe. “Come on come on!” Gabi practically screams, pulling his hand and he emerges from under the shade and into the sun. You smile watching the sun wash over his back. His skin glowing and broad muscular back on full display. That’s the other thing you’ve been missing out on. How dare he deprive you of his perfection?

You run up beside them, grabbing your husband’s other hand, the three of you walking to the water and Gabi runs in first. She’s already been a little fish all day so the water feels warm to her. “Come on babe…” You encourage and he winces slightly at the freezing water lapping over his legs. His senses going off like alarms. His sensitivity to temperature and changes in the environment are just so strong and unpredictable. It amazes you that such a big indestructible man can be so sensitive but that's what you love about him. “Just give me a minute…” He nods, still holding your hand and standing knee deep, adjusting and watching Gabi frolic around in the shallows. You wait with him patiently, giving him all the time in the world to be comfortable. Leaning into him and wrapping your arm around his waist, your hand on the hot skin of his back, head on his shoulder. He rests his head on yours, both watching your daughter having the time of her life. His big hand running up your side and to the back of your neck, just glad that he's here and included in today's fun.

"Okay I'm ready." He suddenly says, stepping forward and marching past Gabriella who's trying to grab onto his legs, giggling all the way. "You can take it slow!" You call to him. Is he crazy? He's just gonna go in just like that?

"Daddy I'm swimming too!" Little Gabi tries to follow him as the water gets deeper and then in the blink of an eye, Miguel's completely submerged with a big splash. You eyes widen with a gasp and Gabi squeals with excitement. Peter B and Jess hollering from the beach, watching the scene unfolding.

You don't see him, not under the crashing waves and the splash that erupted when he crashed into the water, not until Gabi's squealing and her father lifts her up from under the water, her little arms wrapping around him as he emerges from the blue glistening ripples. "I got you!" He growls and she giggles and squeals, her little voice spouting a million words at once, she's just so excited.

"My god..." You sigh, smiling and shaking your head. How did you get so lucky? You walk deeper into the water, kneeling down in the shallows where Gabi stands on Miguel's lap. Splashing each other gently in the water and having fun. "Ma!" Gabi whines, reaching out to you and trying to wrap her arms around the both of you at once. The freezing water from her skin making your back break out in goosebumps.

"Gabi! May found hermit crabs!" Peter calls from the shore. A group of them crowded around Mayday chattering excitedly about her finds. "Oooh!" Gabriella squeals, running off and out of the water to see.

"Whiplash..." Miguel sighs, shaking his head and smiling at Gabi's excitement and moving closer to you in the water. Sitting on the sand as the water laps around your waist and arms, the waves crashing on you two. "Yeah, right?" You laugh softly, watching Gabi run off to the rest of the group on the beach and making sure she's safely on the sand.

"You're right, this was fun. You having fun?" He asks, lifting a hand to your shoulder, the freezing cold water giving you shivers at it meets your hot sun kissed skin. "I'm having a lot of fun..." You smile, looking in his eyes. "More fun now that you're having fun too"

He smiles warmly, rubbing your back gently with his hand. The water lapping around you both in the shallows. Gabi is still on the beach with everyone, squealing and giggling about hermit crabs in May's blue bucket. Her little voice seems to carry across the whole beach.

You lean on Miguel, your head on his chest, your backs to the horizon and watching your little girl bounding across the sand.

[extrastranszanepropaganda]

MCD Rewrite - Gene

BRUUUHHHHHHH his palette FOUGHT me dude. I wanted it to include red with some blue undertones to reflect his brother, while at the same time he needed to be wearing mostly black and stuff since he’s more cloak and dagger + his magick type. So hopefullyyyy it comes across

Text on the image is under the cut!

+ Older brother of Dante, after their mother left them, he took care of him

+ He was very protective and supportive of Dante (aka can, has, and will beat tf out of transphobes)

+ Was born with magicks, specifically the ability to overshadow (basically possession + meat puppets) and would use this to steal/ get opportunities for him and his brother, much to Dante’s chagrin

+ Conflicted, one day Dante vents to an adult he thought he could trust about the moral delima but uh oh! The bitch was lying and cannot be trusted. He rallies the town and they go on a witch hunt, burning Gene at the stake (part of this can be seen on Dante’s sheet)

+ Thanks to working with the guards, he comes back as a shadow knight. This new magicks melded well with his innate abilities, allowing him to not only quickly climb the ranks, but to also become shadow itself.

+ I like to think that his power motifs differ from the straight up flame abilities most of the knights wield, because (A) not only does it blend well with his powers, but his personality too and (B) the dood is a bit scared of fire

+ Most of his body is made up of burn scar tissue, and thanks to revival magicks he’s able to still move around p easily and stuff, but he still has to wear compression clothes, treat the burn sights with care, and has horrible tremors. Not to mention his fine motor skills are basically gone

+ He’s got a quiet but authoritative Deep raspy voice thanks to being a burnt chicken nugget

Extra Notes

+ He becomes desaturated when uses smoke abilities (specifically when he turns into smoke

+ Compression wraps and shirt to help w burn scars pain and he has more underneath his baggy pants and such

+ There is a scar chart revealing burn scars covering most of his body, all the way up to his neck

+ He/Him

+ Age: 21

+ Height: 6’ 1”

[bless-my-demons]

Redamancy: Chapter Three

Jasper Hale x Reader

Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: None

Notes: So sorry last weekend’s chapter was late this week, I’m back to my regularly scheduled posting! I’m so excited so many of you like this series so far!!

Word Count: 1131

Series Masterlist

• January 25, 2005 • Forks High School •

Reader

My second day at Forks high school started much smoother than the first. It was pretty much uneventful until I decided to eat lunch alone outside on the picnic tables in the quad. It was an overcast day much like all the others and maybe a little chilly, but still decent enough since it wasn’t currently raining. It made for the perfect condition being that no one else really wanted to eat outside.

That is, until I spotted none other than Jasper Hale headed in my direction.

“Mind if I join you?” He asks, pointing to the opposite end of the table I’m currently occupying.

“Not at all.” I respond, idly tidying my area self consciously.

“Sorry, sometimes it’s a little overwhelming inside and I come out here to get away.” He says by way of explanation, laying down the sketch pad he carried with him along with a few pencils and a smudge stick. “Mostly I just come out here to draw uninterrupted.” He sits and flips to an empty page, tilting it a little away from my view.

“I get it, large crowds aren’t my thing either. Plus in the two days I’ve known Emmett I can already tell that he probably creates a hostile drawing environment.” I finish with a light chuckle, turning my attention toward the unfinished apple in my hand.

“You draw too?” He asks, eyebrows lifting as he begins a rough sketch on the blank paper.

“Oh heck no, I don’t have any artistic abilities like that, as much as I wish I did.” I frown, taking a bite of my apple.

“I didn’t think I had it in me either, but I took some classes, watched some videos online, and doodled around a lot. Finally got the hang of it although I still don’t really think I’m that good.” He trails off, concentrating on his pencil strokes. “It helps with the stress though, especially when there’s a lot going on.”

“That is… actually kind of neat. Having an outlet that’s also inspiring, creating art and it centering you in the process.” I muse out loud, watching a face beginning to take shape on his paper.

I’m about to ask who he’s drawing when the bell signaling the end of lunch rings out in the empty air surrounding us. I gather my trash and stand while he tucks his supplies away.

“Thanks for keeping me company today.” I tell him as I gaze into his beautifully golden eyes, not quite ready to part ways with him.

“Thanks for allowing me to disturb your peace and quiet.” And as if reading my mind, “Mind if I walk you to your next class?”

“Oh um, sure.” Trying not to seem too excited by the proposition of spending more time in this gorgeous boy’s presence. I tuck some loose strands of hair behind my ear and walk towards him.

“Lead the way, darlin’.” He announces, sweeping his arm in the direction of the main school building, a smirk on his lips.

I laugh and shake my head at his antics, a blush creeping up my cheeks as I walk past him in the direction of my economics class.

Ditching my trash in the trash can as we leave the quad, I miss the way he grins at the accomplishment of making me giggle. I also fail to notice the astounded looks of his adopted siblings as we pass them unaware of their presence through the windows of the cafeteria. Faces reflecting their shocked thoughts at seeing their brother openly flirting with a female compared to his normal stoic facade.

“How did you do it?” Emmett asks, leaning against the locker next to mine.

“Could you be a little more specific?” I ask, a little confused by his blunt question.

“You’ve been here less than a week and my brother is wrapped around your little finger.” He says, holding up his pinky to wiggle in my face.

I laugh and shut my locker, “Emmett, I’ve had all of like two interactions with Jasper, you’re looking into this a little too much.”

“He usually keeps to himself, this isn't the normal Jasper we’re talking about.” He falls into step slightly behind me on my way to the last class of the day, his large build not moving through the throng of students as quickly as I am.

I turn to look at my new friend, “I literally have no clue, it’s probably nothing Em!” My heart picking up speed at just the thought of Jasper. Is he actually interested in me? Is that what Emmett is getting at?

There’s no way, beautiful people like him don’t go for people like me.

I turn and leave Emmett behind in the hallway as students finish rushing through the halls, the tardy bell ringing.

American History, the class I share with Jasper Hale and it also happens to be the last class of the day. Unfortunately though, his assigned seat is on the other side of the room. At least it’s more forward than mine, leaving me to observe him for most of the class period without him seeing.

History is also my worst subject; whether it’s world or US history, I hate it all the same. So many mistakes and atrocities, I wish I could let it flow in one ear and out the other without having to remember it for tests.

Today though, I get the sense our teacher has had a difficult day since he’s decided to let us work together freely. Seeing as I don’t really know anyone yet, I’m forced to work alone.

As if he could feel my discomfort and irritation with the assignment, Jasper Hale appears at the edge of my peripheral vision, claiming the abandoned desk next to mine and turning a few heads of our classmates.

“You’re thinking so loud I could practically hear it from across the room.” He mutters lowly without looking up from his worksheet.

“I’m thinking too loud?” I respond defensively as I cut him a look that would normally skin boys alive.

“Would you like some help or not, doll?” He asks, a grin sliding across his lips as his eyes meet mine in challenge.

“I-uh, I hate history.” I manage to blurt out, a little flustered that he so easily bypassed my frustrated facade without a blink.

“I do want that explanation eventually, but we have work to finish and only,” He breaks eye contact to glance at the clock above the board, “thirty seven minutes left before you’re on your own.”

“Alright Hale, what did you get for number four?” I deflate and accept his offer to save me from the misery of suffering through this stupid assignment alone.

Next

[buckera]

so we know buck likes to do flowers/hot air balloon/etc...

but curious what tommy's love language/how he'll be romantic is. Like, he def likes the flirty teasing to show affection, but do you think he likes giving gifts or cooking dinners... idk, Buck is more the romantic speech giver, tommy prob prefers action.

idk, just wanna know how tommy romances bc so far he's wooed buck by being a) muscly b)Cool and c) a dork

mm actually... i think Buck is into the actions and big gestures, though he is getting better at talking about his feelings, not just letting them take the reigns and see where he ends up with them lmao

on the other hand, Tommy is very measured. he doesn't seem to say anything without intention, even his silly little quips and dark jokes are all there as a stress response — plus he listened to Buck ramble on and on, before realising he had a shot and shutting him up with a kiss lmao

based on what Lou told us about what he imagines Tommy's background to be like and what we saw in canon in season 2 and season 7... Tommy's childhood traumas seem to be pretty similar at the core as Buck's; abandonment issues, feeling alone and lonely, looking for love and family, people to belong to and a place to call home — the difference is that Buck had Maddie (on and off, but mostly on) and then the 118 and Bobby, while Tommy had no one.

for most of his adult life, Buck has been surrounded by people who he could come out to without an overwhelming fear that he'd lose the relationships, so much so that he went for it after having one kiss and a botched date with a guy.

Tommy had a homophobic boss/father figure of sorts, and a bunch of guys who followed Gerrard's lead; even if he had a months- or even years long relationship with a man, I don't think he would've ever risked coming out at all.

Tommy learned what his needs and wants are, and how to recognise his feelings, what's the appropriate way to express them and how to be true to himself, probably through a lot of self-reflection and therapy. (and now he clearly has a lot of friends and is easy to make friends with — however deep those relationships run, we'll just have to see if they'll show us more of that in s8)

all this to say; Tommy recognises Buck's needs and wants because he has been there and is probably still there.

so the way i see it; Tommy would already know how he feels, but would wait for Buck to say 'I love you' first, allowing him to set the pace and show his comfort levels in the the relationship.

but after that? he would say it to Buck every day, he'd tell him how important he is to Tommy, he would make time for just the two of them, but would also include Buck in group activities with his friends, he would never stop checking in on him, even when he's kinda sure that Buck really is just tired and he would know when something is important to Buck even when he waves it off as 'nevermind' and if they ever had a fight, he'd let Buck walk it off, cool down and when he was back, they would sit down and talk and they wouldn't get up until they talked everything through and reached a peaceful middle ground

and when Buck would show up with the bouquets and the fancy tickets to monster truck derbys and packed lunch for their couple's hikes, Tommy would tell him in every which way possible with his words and his touch just how much he truly appreciates Buck's presence in his life.

TLDR: Tommy's love language is communication and reassurance.

[lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom]

Can I request a fic where Wrecker or Hunter (your choice) falls for a circus performer after he sees a show where she’s an acrobat? (I’m thinking Greatest Showman vibes for this fic)

Performance

Wrecker x Reader

Summary- Wreckers sees your performance as an acrobat and immediately falls in love!

A/N- Thank you for requesting, I finally had an idea spark with his prompt! Thank you SO MUCH for your patience <3 Reader is described as flexible, but no body type is mentioned! :)

Word Count- 1,187

Growing up on Ord Mantell was tough to say the least. It was an over-populated and crowded city. Not to mention, being the daughter of a Ring Master.

Your father ran a sort of Circus. Taming and showing off exotic creatures, all while putting on a show. You knew at an early age you'd follow in his footsteps of becoming a performer. To see the cheers and joy on faces made all your hard work pay off.

And the pay? Well it was enough to get by.

Your day started like any other, warming up for your set moves. That was until a small girl and a very large man in armor stumbled into the Circus tent.

They both seemed sweet, but the show didn't start for another hour.

"Excuse me, how can I help you?" You walked up to them, your shiny leotard and skirt reflecting in the lights.

"Wow..." The big man spoke.

You frowned your brows at him. "Oh! Uh, I'm Wrecker! Your outfit is really pretty..." Your face rose in understanding. He meant a compliment, not an insult.

"Well thank you, Wrecker! May I ask what you two are doing here? The circus doesn't start until the sun goes down." They must be new to the city, most knew exactly when the tricks started.

"We came to see the show! We were just so excited, we couldn't wait until sundown!" The girl beamed you had a good feeling about her.

You smiled at her words, it was becoming more rare for children to be excited for your work. Many chose to stay indoors now, you mostly received tourists nowadays.

"You sure sound excited! What's your name?" You teased, slightly bending down to her.

"I'm Omega, and this is my brother." She turned to gesture to Wrecker. You got a good look at him, he was... really tall and muscular.

You were extremely grateful for the colorful lighting all around. Without it, they'd have been able to see your blush.

Feeling in a particularly good mood, you spoke. "Since you two have been so kind, would you like to stay? To watch the rehearsals and warm ups?"

The girl jumped up, grabbing onto her brothers arm. "Oh, please Wrecker?"

He was distracted, however. His eyes still on you. "Uh yeah sure kid. Whatever you want."

You noticed, bashfully looking down. Only for a moment, as an idea sparked. "Why don't you guys go over to the snack booth and get some Mantell Mix? On the house!"

You pointed to the stand. After they both thanked you, Omega and Wrecker headed that way.

Something turned in your stomach, nerves... You haven't gotten nervous before performing since you were a child. Your whole life you'd been on stage, why was not any different? Was it because Wrecker was still keeping a mesmerized eye on you?

Sure, you had plenty of creeps checking you out. It just came with the job, a tight leotard never helped. Wrecker, however, didn't have a lustful eye. He truly seemed innocent and simply in adoration when he looked at you.

You shook off the feeling, after the show was over they'd leave. Just like everyone else did. That was just the path you chose in life. You couldn't help but wonder if you wanted more. Everyone seemed to come and go, but you stayed. Were you tired of staying in one place?

You had no time to dwell on such thoughts, the show was starting soon. A crowd was starting to form, lines getting longer at the food stands. It was your que to follow your father behind the curtains.

Just before doing so, you looked back. A small tradition your mother started when you were little. A last look at the crowd before you reentered as their entertainment. Typically, they were basking in the refreshments or the patterns covering the walls- but your eyes met Wreckers.

He had a goofy grin on his face, one that matched Omegas. When he saw you looking back at him, he gave an energetic wave. You shyly raised your hand to acknowledge him, a matching grin on your face.

It made your heart flutter, though you intermediately shamed yourself for feeling so childish. Flings were for children. Not professional performers.

The show went on, as it always does. Lights move quickly, crowd hushing, and your father the ring bearer introduces the acts.

Juggling, Knife Throwing, Beast Tamer, Sword Swallowing, Clowns. You name it. Each after the other came out in a silly or scary tune. You, however were called last.

"We conclude our show with the Acrobat and Trapeze artist in one!" He called your name out, a slow melody following. It was a sweet harmony you enjoyed, the colorful lights dimming.

Only a single light filled the tent, pointed at you as you were lowered from a support rail.

A silk stream warped around your waist and upper arms. You bended and twisted- earning many gasps and whispers.

You found yourself wondering only for the large man you just met. Was he encaptured by your movements? Was he worried for you as you dropped down to the floor, swinging on the silks? Did he care enough?

Finishing the show was second nature, jumping from one side of the tent to another, grabbing onto rope and gliding above the crowd, a fake sword fight with a clown. It was work, but you truly had fun each time.

Sooner than later, it was all over. You retreated after the applause, noting that Wrecker cheered the loudest. When the majority of the crowd was gone, you came back out to help the clean up.

"That was Auuhhmazing!" He drew out his words, Wrecker bouncing over to you. Omega was hot on his tail.

You flashed your teeth, "Thank you!" Typically it ended at that, but he had so many nice things to say about you...

"I was so scared for you, that last drop was crazy!" He said, looking genuinely concerned. Omegas added to him, "You looked so cool in the silk ropes!"

"You two are so kind, I'm truly flattered." You began to end the conversation, a blush rising up.

That was until Omega pulled on Wreckers arm, "Now!" She urged.

He was bashful, rubbing the back on his neck. "Uh, you really are beautiful. Not that that's the only think I noticed! Uhm, I just, you are so talented, and nice... I was wondering if you'd..." He stopped to look at your expression.

"I would be honored Wrecker, just name a time and place." You had never known yourself to be so bold, he just seemed to bring that out in you.

"Really?" He exclaimed, surprised. "Yes." You laughed out.

"What about after tomorrow's show?" He was eager.

"I'll be waiting right here in my nicest dress." At your words, his face dropped. He turned to Omega.

"We have to go shopping for some nice clothes!" She seemed to become giddy at this.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Wrecker. I'm looking forward to it." He could only blush and stare as you walked away.

A/N- Thank you so much for reading!

Tags- (lmk if you want to be tagged as well!) @thethreeeyed-raven @dangraccoon @knight-of-flowers

[star-girl69]

brooklyn baby yaps pls enjoy (no spoilers for the fic just background basically)

all my knowledge of bands comes from daisy jones and the six i apologize in advance

y/n is the vocalist bc i do what i want!!!!!!!

and then i already mentioned clarisse is the bassist and also the unofficial “leader” of the band…..

MY GIRL CARRIE ON DRUMS IK THATS RIGHT!!!!!!!

matty is guitar bc obvi…..

tyla is also vocals but mainly the keyboard

and then jackie is another bassist

and the band is called the amphetamines LOLLLL

their songs include: (basically the uv album. i’m sorry lana is all i trust myself w to be able to articulate properly…. i KNOW her ok)

Brooklyn Baby - Lana (the first song clar and y/n wrote together, y/n mainly wrote the lyrics while clarisse came up w the instrumentals, y/n reflecting on arbitrary past relationships but also small parts about her and clarisse being opposites but still)

MY GIRLFRIENDS IN A BAND SHE PLAYS THE BASS WHILE I SING LOU REED

Sad Girl - Lana (y/n simping)

BUT YOU HAVENT SEEN MY GIRL YOU HAVENT SEEEEEEEEEN MY GIRL YOU HAVENT SEEN MY GIRL YOU HAVENT SEEEEEEEN MY GIRL

West Coast - Lana (more of y/n simping…..)

I CAN SEE MY BABY SWINGING HER PARLIAMENTS ON FIRE AND HER HANDS ARE UP ON THE BALCONY AND IM SINGING OH BABY OH BABY IM IN LOVE

Pretty When You Cry - Lana (y/n after it sinks in that clarisse really doesn’t care about her and this band, and y/n tells herself she doesn’t either but we all know the truth……)

I WAIT FOR YOU BABE YOU DONT COME THROUGH BABE YOU NEVER DO BABE THATS JUST WHAT YOU DO BC IM PRETTY WHEN I CRY

Florida Kilos - Lana (clarisse came up w the idea and specifically this verse down there in all caps but tyla and y/n collaborated it was definitely the band trying to move into a more pop sort of thing but didn’t really work)

I FEEL YOU PRETTY BABY FEEL ME TURN IT UP HOT LOVING YOU IS FREE I LIKE IT DOWN LIKE IT DOWN WAY LOW BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW

Money Power Glory - Lana (another y/n and clar collab, clar came up w the idea and most of the lines and y/n helped in places, mostly a clar production tho)

I CAN DO IT IF YOU REALLY REALLY LIKE THAT I KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT B B B B B BABY I CAN DO IT IF YOU THINK YOU LIKE THAT YOU SHOULD RUN GIRL RUN I WANT MONEY POWER GLORY I WANT MONEY AND ALL YOUR POWER AND ALL YOUR GLORY HALLELUJAH I WANNA TAKE YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU GOT

Fucked My Way Up To The Top - Lana (clar came up w the demo years and years ago but scrapped it until y/n found it one day and was like HOLD ON GIRL YOU COOKED reworked it and surprised clarisse by singing it for her, definitely where clarisse finally realized that she was in LOVE love lol)

THIS IS MY SHOW GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! THIS IS MY SHOW I NEED YOU BABY LIKE I BREATHE YOU BABY FUCKING NEED YOU BABY MORE MORE MORE MORE

Old Money - Lana (features absolutely no bass, clarisse who is pretty talented w songwriting when she tries wrote it entirely FOR y/n bc y/n jokingly complained that she missed singing really beautiful piano ballads, basically just clarisse confessing her love while still being too COWARDLY and STUPID to actually say it…. obviously written ABOUT y/n as well)

BUT IF YOU SEND FOR ME YOU KNOW ILL COME IF YOU CALL FOR ME YOU KNOW ILL RUN ILL RUN YO YOU ILL RUN TO YOU ILL RUN RUN RUN ILL COME TO YOU ILL COME TO YOU ILL COME COME COME

that’s all i got y’all! i hope you all enjoy these little snippets……

[narcissisticmf]

the beach | sturniolo triplets x gn!reader

description: a day at the beach ft. y/n & the triplets.

trigger warnings: mostly fluff, subtle mentions of anxiety, etc. read at your own risk.

word count: 1.1k

The sun kissed the light waves upon the salty water as well as the glistening sand, it sparkled with the reflection from the sun's rays. You sitting against a beach chair under an umbrella, a bucket hat over your hair and sunglasses over your eyes.

Sweat dripped down along the bridge of your nose, causing the sunglasses to slip down. You found yourself constantly pushing them back up as you had an opened book in your lap, earbuds were stuck in your ears as the audiobook played; it motivated you more to keep reading.

Matt and Chris were in the water, splashing around together as Nick was building some sandcastles close to where you were seated. The sounds of their laughter made you smile to yourself as you continued reading.

The wind was blowing nicely, allowing just a sliver of a moment where the sweating stopped. You flickered your gaze up to watch the three of them for a minute. They looked so happy and free. It surprised you how such a simple place could bring out the most excitement in people.

"Y/N/N, are you hungry?" Nick was asking as you paused the audiobook from your phone, taking the earbuds out and closing your book.

"Yeah, I could eat," You shrugged, tossing your book into your tote bag that was sitting against the sand, beside your chair.

"Matt, Chris!" Nick called over the wind as his two brothers looked over. "Y/N and I are hungry! We wanna get something to eat! Are you coming?"

Chris gave Nick a thumbs up as the two of them started to get out of the water. They started walking towards you and Nick, grabbing a couple towels to dry themselves off.

.

With the four of you carrying your beach stuff back to the car, you tossed everything into the trunk before heading to the boardwalk, just beside the beach. It was still stupidly hot as you all tried to find a spot to get some food. There were tons of people around, but luckily they were all too busy doing their own thing to recognize any of you.

"I'm in the mood for pizza," Matt commented as you all agreed. "That place looks good," He pointed down the boardwalk to the left, an open, outdoor pizza restaurant. You all decided on going there and it wasn't long before you got your food.

You and Nick saved a table for the four of you while Matt and Chris ordered your food.

"It's so hot," You grumbled.

"I know, it's kinda disgusting," Nick replied.

You nodded in agreement as Matt and Chris came back with four slices of pizza and a large basket of fries for you all to share.

"We should go shopping after," You suggested and started eating your piece. Chris sat beside Nick and Matt was next to you; you and Nick were across from each other. "Mostly because the stores have air conditioning," You chuckled softly with your mouth full of food.

"I second that," Chris nodded.

The smell of popcorn and funnel cake filled the air, mixed with the saltiness coming off the beach. Despite how hot it was, you were relaxed being around your best friends. There was a cool breeze hitting you as you were under an umbrella, it put a short stop to the sweat that was dripping along the sides of your face and behind your neck.

.

Walking along the boardwalk again, you were going in store after store, mindlessly looking across the things they had for sale. Some of them were smaller-run businesses, making handmade clothes or trinkets. You were with Matt looking through some of the handmade jewelry one of the stores hand.

"This ring is sick.." You mumbled as you pointed to it as it was resting inside a box, with foam along the bottom, atop a wooden table.

"You should get it," He suggested as he was looking at the necklaces.

"Mm.." You hummed thinking about it.

Across the store, something caught your attention. You walked towards it, without informing Matt, and saw that there were crystal bracelets. You examined them and their style, seeing that they were very beautiful. You decided to pick out three of them for Matt, Nick and Chris.

For Nick, you picked green aventurine. You examine the meaning of the crystal and saw it meant confidence, vitality and growth, that screamed Nick to you.

For Chris, you picked obsidian. It meant protection and got rid of any negativity. That was something you wanted Chris to always have.

For Matt, you decided to get him amethyst which would get rid of any anxiety and calm the mind. He has always opened up to you about that, how anxious he would get from time to time, so you thought it was the perfect one for him.

You made an attempt to be as clandestine as you could, buying them without the three of them knowing. Once you did, you made sure to keep the small bag hidden from their view.

"Hey, what'd you get?" Chris asked as he saw you walking away from the register with a small paper bag.

"Just a necklace," You shrugged it off with a small smile.

"Nice," He nodded with a smile.

.

Back at their house in Boston, you helped them unpack the van, putting the beach chairs back in their garage and unloading the cooler, pouring the ice out of it. Once you all got inside and showered, putting on some comfy clothes, you were all in the kitchen sharing a couple sodas.

"Oh, I almost forgot.." You slipped out of your chair around the counter and went into Nick's room to fumble through your tote, finding the paper bag with the bracelets in them.

"Here, I got you guys something," You smiled and reached into the paper to hand them each their bracelets. "The meanings of the crystals are on that piece of cardboard on them," You informed.

They looked very happy and grateful that you were thinking of them during a small shopping trip.

"These are so cool, Y/N/N," Chris stated with a smile.

"Oh my God, I love it. I'm gonna wear it everyday," Nick grinned and pulled you into a side hug as you returned the gesture.

"Thanks, Y/N," Matt smiled, you could tell he was truly happy.

"Of course," You grinned, "I thought they matched you each perfectly."

You ended the day watching some movies with them in their living room, on the couch with some bowls of popcorn and other candies. It was one of the nicest days you'd had in a while.

.

a/n: hi, angels! so here on the east coast it's been absolutely fucking HOT and i hate the heat but it inspired me to write this cute little thing! there wasn't much of a plot, i hope you don't mind, i just wanted to capture some fun platonic stuff with the triplets! i love you all so much mwah! — angelina.

[clavissionary-position]

Ikepri Rooms Ranked By How Expensive They'd Be As Hotel/Airbnb Suites

1. SILVIO

Listed in the dictionary as the extreme antonym of a cheap room. The type that requires reserving years before in advance because nowhere on earth will you get a better view of dolphins porking. And forget about sheets being washed daily, they get completely replaced three times a day. You feel like a billion dollars after one night's stay, which is great because you've surely spent half that amount on said stay.

2. JIN

The reason this ranking exists. Luxury walls, flooring, bedding. Other hotel suites wish they could be Jin's room. Catching your reflection on any of the surfaces automatically increases libido. The sheets are infused with heady compounds commonly found in massage oils. You can see the mini-bar no matter where you're standing in the room. The fucking complimentary lollipops.

3. YVES

The crown canopy alone is so iconic that it demands a premium, but who wouldn't want to treat themselves to a stay in such a chic and manicured suite? Its amenities rival any high-end spa. There's amenities for actual cats. You go in clean and come out shiny.

4. CHEVALIER

You're paying for the books and you're paying for the balcony. If you face the bookshelves it smells like roses. If you face the roses, it smells like books. It's obvious Chevalier did not put this room on the market, nor did he tamper with it to such inutile effect.

5. KEITH

The premiere suite for introverts who simp for succulents. The bright and refreshing color palette is sure to uplift your spirits, and if that doesn't do the trick, who doesn't like fiddling with an actual telescope and accidentally breaking it? The ceilings are higher than you'd find in most suites, making it perfect for taller guests. There's always a fresh galette waiting for you every day.

6. NOKTO

A room that enticingly strays into the realm of maximalism. Staying in this suite with all its souvenirs and foreign effects lets you feel like a globe-trotter while you're getting ravished into the luxurious mattress. No single occupants allowed.

7. LEON

You're paying for the books and you're paying for the sheets. Mostly the sheets because some of the books are a little dusty. Room Service specializes in meat dishes. The windows grant one of the most breathtaking sunsets you'll see anywhere.

8. LICHT (palace room)

Despite the cool palette, it evokes calm and happy feelings. The wolf motif means lots of fur accessories. Just, uh, ignore the collar in the drawer. Even if you're into it. That's not for you. Yeah, this is probably another room that wasn't listed by its owner.

9. RIO

The view, the view, the view. For some reason Rio comes with the suite. 24/7 butler. Partway through your stay and after receiving world-world-class service, your understand why the convenience fee was so much higher than what you paid for the actual room. It's also obvious that this experience is worth far more than what it was listed for.

10. LUKE (cottage room)

A cozy stop on any b&b tour. The owner asks you do not disturb the teddy bears on display. If you find that the teddy bears disturb you, you are free to sleep facing the walls while enjoying the everpresent fragrance of honey.

11. SARIEL

The perfect room to spend an entire day in while reading or cuddling or being spooky and goth. There's spare glasses everywhere. You can see how some of the seemingly-ordinary fixtures could easily be turned into props for more adult-oriented activities. There's also ale flasks everywhere. ...Who put this room on the market? (whip-cracking sounds)

12. LUKE (palace room)

It definitely feels like you're staying in someone's personal bedroom and not an officially sanctioned suite. If you stayed in the cottage room before this, you might even think one of the teddy bears followed you. Well, that's just what they do.

Unlisted properties ranked:

1. CLAVIS (treasure and contraband room)

A national secret too dangerous to list. Expensive based purely on the illicit contents and sheer volume of shovels, which apparently add up.

2. LICHT (cottage room)

A national secret too secret to list. Also if "Simple and Clean" was a physical room. No one should know it exists, even though everyone probably knows it exists. If it were on the market, it'd be impossible to book. It's so picturesque it makes you want to cry. Most of the hypothetical extra charges on the hypothetical bill go toward maintaining the field of flowers surrounding the property.

3. CLAVIS (palace room)

A national secret too dangerous to list, but there have been rumors that you can stay for free if you manage to get past all the locks and traps and tell the owner how much you love him.

4. GILBERT

A national secret too dangerous to list, and there have been rumors that it undergoes regular renovations ever since the owner got engaged. It's the kind of room that makes you think "yeah, that'd probably be expensive as hell to stay in," but it seems the owner doesn't care for pricing things out of the reach of the masses, so that's why it's ranked so far down. If the room were available.

a/n: Thank you for reading. I took some inspiration from the modern headcanons @/leonscape has posted in the past. Also the bit about where Licht keeps his collar I believe is something mentioned in a collection event story, which I read the translation by @/hotaru987 for.

[monster-disaster]

[succubus] Irina

succubus!Irina x human!Reader Good to know: cheating, but it doesn't really feel like cheating because it's mostly porn

Summary: Irina helps you relax when you visit her because of your wedding dress.

The location. A plan B if it rains. The guests. The seating plan. Three versions of them. Your aunties are as far away from each other as possible. The bridesmaids and their dresses. Something not ridiculous. The food and the drinks. Vegan too. The cake. White with chocolate filling. The music. The decorations. Flowers. And even more flowers.

and, and, and

And your wedding dress. A white one with lace details and a bit of shine. A strapless dress with a sweetheart neckline and A-line silhouette. The length is long but not that long. It has to highlight everything you love about yourself and hide anything else. And a veil. You already have one. It was your mother's and grandmother's and so on. A family tradition.

Everything else can wait one day. Your shoes. The jewelry. Your makeup and your hair. Your nails. And the things that can go wrong on the big day.

The back of your head already throbs when you step into the shop. The familiar pain pulls your brows into a frown and your lips into a grimace. Your fingers around the strap of your bag tighten. The door behind you closes with a thud, muffling out the noises of the city.

"Long week?" The question comes from the other side of the shop. "Long months," you correct her with a heavy sigh.

Your gaze settles on the woman. Her deep, cherry-red skin stands out among the soft and light colors of the dresses around her. Her black hair is pulled into a neat bun at the top of her head, between the horns that are spiraling upwards. They are a few shades darker than her skin.

"They say marriage is easier than planning a wedding," she says. "I don't believe them." You laugh. "I don't either." As you get closer, you let your bag fall on the couch in front of the huge mirror that hides the back of the shop. "Come," Irina says with a wave of her hand. "Your dress is ready." "Great," you sigh again, following her obediently to help you into the dress. "If I gained weight, I will cry." The succubus laughs. The sound is deep and sultry. "Don't worry," Irina replies. "I have tissues and a few bottles of champagne."

Irina helps you with the dress, adjusting the soft fabric around you until it feels like a second skin on your upper body. It pushes up your chest and highlights the curve of your waist. The skirt falls around your legs in soft pleats.

"How does it feel?" She asks. "I can change a few things if you want to." Your hands smooth down on the skirt around your waist. "It feels okay." "Do you want to see yourself?" After you nod, she grabs the back of your skirt to help you go out to the mirror. Your gaze lands on your own reflection immediately. The shiny details around your waist glint under the bright lights. The lace is just enough to make the dress more special, but you don't feel like a kitschy meringue in it. "What is it?" Irina asks after a few seconds while you stare at yourself silently. "What's wrong?" You shake your head. "Nothing," you reply. "Nothing is wrong. The dress is perfect." "Then?" "I'm just so tired," you tell her, squeezing your eyes shut for a moment before your attention turns back to the mirror again. "But it's really perfect, Irina. I love it." "You look beautiful." A smile tugs on your lips. "I am," you reply, grinning. "My tits never looked better." Her laugh sends shivers down your spine. It vibrates through your body and stops between your legs. Your breath gets stuck in your lungs at the sudden feeling. "That's true," she agrees. Her gaze is heavy on your cleavage. "I have a necklace you could try on." Not finding your voice, you nod, watching her disappear and come back a moment later with a flat box in her hands. When the box opens, your eyes widen. "Oh." The necklace is beautiful with white and silver colors. "Should I?" She asks, and you nod again.

When Irina steps behind you, the air changes within a moment. You don't even recognize it at first. You are too busy watching the necklace falling on your chest, following the slope of your cleavage. The glinting of the small diamonds matches your dress. Irina's fingers are warm on the back of your neck. Her long fingers graze your skin.

"It really looks good on you," she says, stepping closer. One of her hands lands on your waist while the other one slips in front of you, playing with the necklace on your chest. The feeling of her nails surges goosebumps all around your body. Your lips open, but no sound escapes your throat.

The succubus feels everything you go through. Your scent is heavy in the air, filling her senses with desire and need. You are sweet and seductive. Her chest raises with a deep breath. "Gods, Anne," she groans. "You smell…" You can feel her nose running across the curve of your neck and shoulder. "Irina," you groan, closing your eyes. Every nerve in your body is on edge. Your skin is sensitive. Her touch burns and makes you forget everything else. It's just you and her in the shop. You look like a princess in your wedding dress while she is the temptation herself. And you don't remember how to say no to her.

"You are so tense," she states, massaging your shoulder for a few seconds. You can feel your muscles melting under her hands. Your posture relaxes, and you almost fall back against her body. "Let me help you," Irina says next to your ear. Her voice is quiet and sultry. Heat spreads across your cheeks, going down on your chest. Your desire for her throbs in the air. The succubus feeds on everything you give her. "Please," your answer is airy and pleading. Your eyes are still closed, so you don't see the woman's lazy smile as she watches your pair in the mirror.

For a few seconds, nothing happens. The only things you can hear in the quiet shop are the rapid beating of your heart and your ragged breathing. Irina's finger runs up and down on the slope of your cleavage, disappearing under the neckline of your dress and coming back to your collarbone. Your whole body buzzes under her soft touch.

Then you hear the sound of the zipper, and the dress around you loosens. Your chest heaves as you take a deep breath. "Was it too tight?" Irina asks, her palms on your arms, moving up and down on your soft skin. "No," you shake your head, opening your eyes. "The dress is perfect, Irina," you tell her again. "I couldn't imagine anything better." A proud smile flashes on her face before her attention turns back to the reflection of the two of you. Her expression changes, and all of a sudden, you feel like prey. Irina's eyes glint with something that scares and excites you at the same time. Anticipation stretches in your chest. "I couldn't either," she hums, tugging on the dress easily until it pools around your legs, leaving you just in your panties. The necklace still shines on your chest. Her eyes rake over your body, pausing on your breasts and between your legs. Another quick tug and the small fabric hiding your center from her hungry eyes follow the path of your dress too. "Gods," she groans. "You are so pretty." "Irina," you whisper her name, letting your head fall to the side to give her more space on your neck. Her lips brush over every sensitive spot that makes you shiver. "So delicious," she groans. The sound trembles inside you. Your thighs clench for some friction. The succubus slips her arms under yours, palming your sides until she reaches your breasts. She gropes your chest, playing with the weight of your tits. Your hard nipples peek out between her fingers. Her hold tightens around them. "Fuck" you cry helplessly when she tugs on your nipples, and you can feel it in your pussy. The apex of your thighs glints with your juices. Your panties are soaked. Totally ruined. "So soft," she says. "I could eat you up, Anne." "Do it," you tell her. "Please, Irina." Her smile is smug and satisfied. The air is hot and sweet around you. She can almost feel your taste on the tip of her tongue. "You would like that, wouldn't you?" She asks. One of her hands smooths down on your stomach. Your legs open up on their own. "Yes," you reply, watching her fingers disappear between your thighs. Her touch is a shock to your system. It strikes through your body. "Yesyesyes." Your head falls back on her shoulder. Your eyelids feel heavy as you watch the mirror. Your wetness coats her fingers as her fingertips slide through your folds, opening you up and grazing your clit. Your hips jerk, begging for more.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you know you shouldn't do this. In a few weeks, you will be married to someone else. You will be a wife. You should stop and leave. It was not in your plans for today.

Irina's finger finds your entrance. Teasing and torturing you.

But how could you stop? Your mind is hazy and empty. The only thing that reaches you through the fog is her spicy scent, her burning touch, and the small kisses on your neck.

"So hot, Anne," she breathes on your skin. "You burn my fingers." "I'm sorry." She laughs. "Don't. I love it. I want to put my tongue here." Her fingers pull back to your clit, drawing small circles on the sensitive bud. "I want to taste you here." She slides lower, spreading your wetness on your skin even more. "And fuck you with my tongue here." The only thing that keeps you on your feet is her arm around your torso. She thrusts two of her fingers into you. Pain and pleasure rush through your veins. The muscles in your abdomen jerk, and you almost fall forward at the force. Your cry fills the shop. Your nails dig into the red skin of her arm. You can feel her muscles under your hold. "Fuck," you groan. "Irina!" "Cum, Anne," she demands impatiently. She fucks you with her fingers. "Soak my fingers!"

Your orgasm crushes you. Tears run down your cheeks, and you can feel Irina's tongue as she licks up the salty drops.

You feed her with every cry and moan that leaves your lips. Power gathers in Irina's body, tensing her muscles and throbbing in her cunt.

"Good girl," she hums. "Are you ready for more?"

You shouldn't. You should stop. Run and forget it ever happened.

You nod. "Please." Even though you cum not even a few minutes ago, you feel even more needy. Hunger burns your insides, demanding you to do something. To beg. To cry. "Are you sure you are not a succubus?" The woman laughs, walking in front of you. Her hands go to your breasts again, caressing the soft skin and grazing your nipples with her nails. Your hand slides to the back of her head. You want to pull her closer, pushing your chest to her face. Your back arches. "So demanding," Irina smirks but gives in to your needs. Her lush lips close around your nipple, flicking the hard peak with her tongue. "Oh, god," you groan. Hollowing her cheeks, Irina starts to suck. She coats your skin with saliva. It makes your skin tingle. Tears gather in your eyes again at the feeling. "What's happening?" You ask her, shocked. "One of the perks of being with a succubus," she grins, letting go of your breast with a quiet pop. "It's amazing," you tell her. Your nipples are still sensitive and tingling. "Just wait and see," she says, dropping to her knees in front of you. Your breath quickens at the view. Her horns almost reach your breasts, her eyes shine, and her lips are swollen. From this angle, you can see the woman's breasts through the neckline of her shirt. "Spread your legs more," Irina says, pulling on your thighs. Her gaze is heavy on your wet folds. You can feel yourself gushing around nothing. Your walls still flutter because of your orgasm not long ago. "Good girl." Her praise is muffled by your pussy.

Irina doesn't hold back anymore. The sight of your wet folds clouds her thoughts. Your scent and taste push her higher and higher.

Not wasting any second, her lips find your clit instantly. The impatient flicks and licks of her tongue send a shock through your body. You moan at the feeling, grinding your hips down on her face with a new-found elan. You chase your orgasm with barely any thoughts in your mind. She sucks on your clit, feasting on your desire and juices. Her chin is coated with your wetness. It glints under the lights. You can feel the effect of her saliva. You become even more sensitive, and the tingling feeling between your thighs radiates all over your body. "Oh, fuck," you groan. "Fuck, Irina!" Your hands snap up, grabbing her horns when you lose your balance for a second. The pull strikes between Irina's legs, ruining her panties even more. Shivers wreck her body, making her bite on your clit a bit harder. The sucking feeling on your sensitive bud and the searing pain send you into another world. Black dots dance in front of your eyes, your muscles twitch with every contract of your lower stomach. Tears continue to run down your cheeks. Your cry is hoarse and powerless. "Ohmygod," you chant. "Ohmygod!"

When Irina stands up, she doesn't move away from you. She keeps you close while you wait to feel your legs again. "Good girl," she praises. "You taste so good, Anne. I'm so full of you." You mewl at her words, not finding your voice yet. Irina really feels satisfied. You fed her full. "I think I could make a few adjustments on your dress," she says. You can hear the meaning of her suggestion. And god, you want her again. "What do you say?" "Yes," you croak out. "I think it's a great idea."

- Masterlist Meriad Masterlist Patreon

[painfulrant]

Peace and Life

JJ Maybank x Reader

Little Angst, mostly fluff

Peace and Life

It was a normal day at the Chateau, everyone packing up to get on the boat. Kiara carried a cooler of ‘apple juice’ while JJ rolled a few. Everyone had been so on edge lately that you had just decided to get everyone out and on the water to let worries wash away with the tides. Of course, they’d come and go but there were other people present and you knew that with everyone around, no one would think of things for long.

When Pope and John B got back with gas for the boat, Sarah finally came out of John B’s room having just woken up. She looked to be decently clothed but you couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled from you.

“Love, you’ve gotta change. It’s quite warm today and we’re going on HMS Pogue.” You called kindly with a soft smile before you watched her freeze and groan, turning around before disappearing with a loud thud from the door having been slammed shut.

“Someone's cranky today.” JJ muttered what you were guessing was supposed to be to himself for when you turned with a raised eyebrow and amused eyes, he rolled his eyes and turned away. Your lover boy has had quite the attitude today and you weren’t sure if it was just him waking up on the wrong side of the bed or something that someone did.

Nonetheless, you knew he wasn’t angry or upset with you so you glided over, squatting in front of his form that sat with his elbows propped on his knees, a paper and stuff in his lap. He wore his black shirt with his swim trunks and his red cap backwards which you always loved.

“I think everyone may be.” You hummed, offering a smile. You gently grabbed his hands to stop him from his activity before moving your head so you could see his ocean blue eyes. Something was off. His eyes said as much from the unnatural dark shade to his eyes and the way he seemed to be holding every emotion behind a wall that he hoped would numb them all.

“What is it, sweet man?” You whispered, letting your fingers gently run and trace his face. Over his eyebrows, along his cheek bones, then down to his jawline. On and on, trying to ease the both of you.

He took only a moment, studying you as he usually does before deciding whatever it was wasn’t important enough to tell you. It stung but you knew it was his way of keeping the both of you safe from negative emotions and cruel thoughts. He looked down and grabbed his hat, squeezing the bill between his hands before running his fingers through his hair and placing it back where it was before.

“Nothing. Come on, they’re all waiting.” He answered, interlacing your hands so you couldn’t pull away. Not that you wanted to in the first place, you knew it was just a fear of his and you had no issue being close to him. You loved it in fact.

When the HMS Pogue stopped, water surrounded all sides with glimmering reflections of the sun that cast heated rays all around. Everyone was talking and chatting, JJ having just tried to pull off his ‘party trick’ where he stands on the edge of the boat while it’s still moving, holding a beer so he can try to catch the liquid escaping the bottle. It was funny to watch but annoying when beer matted everyone's clothes and hair.

You now sat in his lap, moving one of the many wash clothes that you hid inside the HMS Pogue seats against JJ’s beer smothered face. He was laughing and nodding along with Pope while the girls played music and chatted about their men and their experience. Which happened to be the exact reason you weren’t hanging out with them at the moment.

When JJ turned his attention to you, you saw his eyes darken once more and felt a creeping doubt that maybe it was you who he was upset and angry with. For what, you had no clue. You tilted your head, smile falling with concerned eyes that searched for the answer through his. When his eyes studied where your smile once was, a sharp ping jutted through your heart.

“Did I do something wrong?” You asked quiet enough so the others couldn’t hear but loud enough so he could. When his expression changed from one of distant thinking to one of shock and then again to a slightly frustrated emotion, you couldn’t help but begin to fidget with your hands that laid in between the both of you.

“No, of course not. I just…” He started, breaking the eye contact that you so desperately wanted.

“I can’t offer you anything that others could. I can’t give you a home… or money, or even really peace.” He stated, growing more frustrated by voicing his thoughts out loud. “I can’t support you and heaven forbid if you ended up pregnant, I couldn’t support the baby either.” He lifted you gently, making sure not to harm you but rushing to set you down and stand up. To leave this conversation because he didn’t want to hear your usual reassuring words. He knew they weren’t true and he didn’t want pretty lies.

You watched as he walked away, feeling your heart clench more with each step he took. What did this mean? Was he thinking of leaving? Of dipping on the relationship? All these worries hit you like a one-ton truck and you felt a dizzying spell from it. Swallowing the pain down, you stood before offering a smile to John B who had watched the encounter with furrowed eyebrows. It wasn’t unusual for you and JJ to fight but it was unusual for you to have just let him walk away. Usually, you wouldn’t allow that, that being if you could stop him in the first place.

Walking to the edge of the HMS Pogue, you stripped your shirt, remaining in your jean shorts and swimsuit before jumping into the cold refreshing water. One of the many reasons you loved water was for the fact that it acted as an escape for you. You could usually hold your breath for a while, just sitting in the water and letting your thoughts and emotions out around you.

So that’s exactly what you did. You let the air from your lungs slowly seep out as you sink before letting your body lay limp, the tides moving you. Your eyes were closed and you just let the sound and feeling of the tides wash over you, letting it ease your worries and numb your feelings. You knew this way of releasing emotions wasn’t necessarily safe but nonetheless you still continued to do so. Soon your lungs were screaming for air but you couldn’t find it to move just yet. You wanted the rush that came with having a time limit to swim to the top. You wanted the peace you felt in that instant to last forever. Forever wasn’t an option though.

As you broke the surface of the water, you found everyone searching the water before letting out a relieved breath from seeing you smile and wave.

“Don’t you ever do that sh*t again!” Kie screamed, worried lining her every feature. You stared confused before JJ cursed under his breath, calling you a ‘psychotic woman’, before jumping in as well.

“You were under twice as long as usual.” Pope explained with an impressive look.

“How long?” You asked, confusion and surprise making you ask the question you really didn’t want to know.

“Four minutes.” He answered, shaking his head. Your eyes bulged before you felt JJ’s arms finally slip around you. Without one second of hesitation, you turned and wrapped your arms around his neck, knowing he had probably flipped out when you hadn’t surfaced at your usual time.

“I’m okay.” You reassure before moving so you could place your hands on both sides of his face, not allowing him to move or look away.

“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” You stated before your features soften a bit, placing a soft lingering kiss to the crown of his head. “You are my peace, J. If you keep avoiding life then you’ll never find peace. Okay? So stop trying to push me away.” You demanded.

He was silent, just staring at you before you took a deep breath and made a pouting face.

“Okay. I’ll work on it, sweets.” He muttered before glancing down to your lips.

“Will you kiss me now?” He asked, hope laced into his voice.

“Not yet. I have one more thing to say.” You answered, biting your lip with a half smile that you attempted, and failed, to hide.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” You hum, teasing but also being completely serious. You knew for some time he was struggling with his self image and you decided now would be an appropriate time to hint at it. Whether he found out what you were truly trying to say or not was up to him.

He stared at you with asserting eyes before he thinned his lips, trying to decipher what you meant. You gave him only a moment before speaking again.

“Now I will kiss you.” You whispered, leaning forward to gently brush your lips with his, quick and swift but holding all the love and affection that the two of you had.

When fake gagging noises sounded from the boat, you smiled against JJ’s lips, letting giggles fall from this. Today has definitely been a good day.

You cannot find peace by avoiding life. - Virginia Woolf

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. - George Bernard Shaw

[doitforbangchan]

All Bark and No Bite 05

We're finally getting into some drama in this one (Yes i know it took forever) please enjoy!

Masterlist

Series masterlist

Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8

ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe

Previous - Next

Series Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, verryyyy nsfw, chan x reader, OT8 x reader, A/B/O, m/m/f smut, possessive! SKZ, possessive! Reader, anxiety and depression, reader is a CRYBABY, fluff, angst, virgin!reader,  cursing, violence, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, Sub reader x mostly dom SKZ, misogyny and sexism, Ateez are depicted as terrible people (sorry Atiny!) 

Chapter warnings: Suggestive, ABO, reader in heat, cursing, pet names, manipulation?

WC: 3k

MDNI 18+

Disclaimer: The names and faces used here are just that, names and faces, and in no way reflect the real people the characters were designed after. The views and actions of these characters do not reflect the real Stray Kids in any way shape or form. This is all for fun let’s keep it that way please. 

There was an intense warmth covering your back when you awoke the next morning. It was so comforting you almost lulled back to sleep. That is until you heard a raspy voice in your ear,

“Good morning, Omega.” 

Chan 

“Mmm” you grumbled, too caught up in his warmth. 

He smiled into your hair and pressed a kiss to the back of your head. You felt tingles all over your body at his affection. 

It was still hard to believe yesterday even happened. It feels like a fever dream, one you never wanted to wake from. You dug yourself further into the alpha's embrace, wanting to be as close to him as possible. 

You feel weird today. Still so, so happy, but there's an oddness you can’t quite place your finger on. All you know is that Chan being here is so comforting to you.  

“How did you sleep, baby?” He kept his voice low, he himself still riddled with sleep. 

You yawned, “Wonderful, Chan. I don’t think I have ever slept that good in my life.”

He hummed, “I’m so glad, omega. You needed your rest after all the stress you’ve been through the last few days.” He brushes the hair from you face and turns your body over to be underneath him now. “And you’ll need your energy for what's in store for you today.”  He smirked at seeing your face turn full red with blush. Did he mean we are gonna…

He planted a quick kiss to your lips before he spoke again “We’re going into town today to get you new clothes and toiletries.” He rolled off the bed. 

‘Oh, get your mind out of the gutter y/n.’ You scolded yourself mentally. Propping yourself up on your elbows you admired your alpha as he slipped his pj pants back over his hips. He must have taken them off to be more comfortable in the night. The thought of being in bed with him, when he has no clothes on, makes you wanna drool. Made you wish you knew, then maybe you could have done something about it. ‘Y/N what the fuck calm down’

Chan could feel your eyes on him, so he pulled up his bottoms extra slowly, being sure to give you a good look at his ass. He smirked when he turned around to you staring right at him. 

“Come on, Baby. You gotta get ready, I’m sure the boys are almost ready to head out.” He walked to the door, opening it to find your clothes from yesterday neatly folded and waiting. “Seungmin washed these for you last night, so you had something to wear today.” He set them on the bed for you. 

“Wow, that was so thoughtful of him!” You beamed. 

If only you knew how many times Seungmin pressed your dirty underwear to his nose, drinking in the pure scent of you. 

----------------------------------------------------------

Chan left you to get ready for the day while he went and did the same. After you fell asleep last night him and the pack texted about today's agenda. A few of them needed to go to town so it was the perfect time to take you shopping. Chan was confident no one in their small town would try anything with you, especially if they saw the pack around. 

There was a stack of bagels on the table waiting for you when you walked down the stairs about 15 minutes later. Jisung was seated there munching on his own when he noticed you and pulled out the chair next to him. “Hey my Baby! Wanna bagel?” 

“Good morning Jisung,” You giggled. It was literal music to his ears. “I would love one, thank you. “ 

You took a seat next to him as he plated one up for you, with a side of cream cheese and butter. 

“Are you ready to go shopping?” He asked with cheeks full of food. 

You took your own bite, “Yes! Are you coming with us today?” 

It was at that moment Chan entered the room, “Ah yes, actually Hannie is going to be the one to take you to get clothes. I have a few other matters to attend to in town.” He pressed a kiss to your head and lowered his voice when he sensed your anxiety “Alpha has some important things he needs to do, you’ll be a good omega and go shopping with Jisung, right?” He was pumping out pheromones to appease you and make you listen. It was certainly working. 

You nodded along with his words “Yes alpha.” 

He gave you a devilish grin “That's a good omega.” His words sent a deep shiver down your spine. 

Jisung watched your interaction with interest. So far you were everything he’d heard about omegas. Sweet, respectful, beautiful. You really were a good omega. It made him want to take care of you. 

“Who are we waiting on, Channie-hyung?” The beta asked after gulping down his bagel. 

Chan pulled out your chair for you when you were finished, “Seungmin and Felix, they are probably already in the car waiting for us. Bin and Hyun are already in town, they took Changbins car. Bin wanted to get some gym time and Hyunjin is teaching his weekly art class.” 

‘Aww Hyunjin really couldn’t get any more attractive’ You signed dreamily. 

“Are Minho and Jeongin not coming with us?” You asked Chan. 

“Nah Jeongin wasn’t feelin’ to well and Minho wants to get some house work in” You nodded. 

“Seungmin will yell at me if we make him wait any longer so let’s go!” Jisung bolted for the door and you both followed right behind him hand in hand. 

--------------------------------------------------------------

The ride to town took about 20 minutes, but it felt like it went by much quicker. You were sat shotgun while Chan drove, his hand resting on your thigh the entire time. His touch calmed the nerves you felt, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. You still can’t shake this odd feeling. 

The 3 betas sat in the back, Seungmin bullying Jisung about making him wait and Felix laughing like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever seen. 

“It’s not my fault Seung! Channie is the one who came down last, Baby and i were ready!” His eyes found yours when you looked back at him, “right baby?!” 

“Hmmmmm” you pretended to think, Chan giving you an amused side eye, Jisung pleading with you to agree. “I don’t remember.” You gave him a cheeky smile. “Oh wait , I remember now! It’s all Alphas fault!” You pointed at Chan and Jisung let out a cheer. 

Seungmin was not as amused, “Don’t cover for him y/n, he’s always the late one.” 

A loud “Hey!” then a thumping sound was barely heard over all the laughter in the car. 

------------------------------------------------------------------

In town Chan had Jisung change spots with him to take you to the boutique, while Chan and the other two boys attended to their own business. Your alpha gave you a deep kiss before departing, his smirk on display at your flustered state. 

You and Jisung arrived a few minutes later at this small but very fashionable clothing store. 

The door chimed as you opened it, a voice from behind a counter calling to you “Be right with you dearies!”

Jisung held onto your hand as you walked a little further in. 

‘Wow there are so many options here!’ you thought, mouth wide open at the gorgeous selections. 

“What can I help you -“ an older woman approached but paused at the sight of you. 

You gave her a polite wave “Hello. I need some new

clothes please.” 

She was an old beta woman, probably around late 60s, with graying hair and a green boho dress. She was a very pretty woman. 

“Eun, this is y/n.” The woman only then seemed to notice Jisung with you. “She’s Chans mate.” 

That seemed to snap her out of her daze, a bright smile gracing her features, “That sly dog went and got himself an omega huh? And a gorgeous one at that!” She approached you and grabbed your face, getting a good look at you. The blush returned to your face and you made eyes at Jisung next to you. 

Jisung laughed and released your hand pulling you back slightly. “ Yes Eun, she’s new in our pack and needs a whole new wardrobe!” 

The elder beta clapped her hands excitedly. “You’ve come to the right place then! I’ve got quite the collection for you to try my dear.” She disappeared into the back once again. 

Jisung put both hands on your shoulders, giving them a rub to calm you. 

“Don’t mind Eun, Baby. She’s a little eccentric. She’s an old friend Chans family. Watched him and his family grow up, so she’s a little excited.” Ah that makes sense. 

Eun came rushing out with her arms full of clothes. She set them on a moving rack before shuffling it over to the fitting room in the corner. “I picked out a few things that I think you’ll love!” 

She grabbed your hand and hurried you to the fitting room, chucking a few outfits into the room with you, then taking a seat outside with Jisung, both waiting for you to model all the clothes for them. 

It took about 2 hours before you decided you had enough to last a lifetime. Actually you were done after picking one outfit, but Jisung just waved a credit card at you and told you to keep shopping. That he knew if you didn’t buy a lot then Chan would be mad at both of you. That made it easier to pick out stuff, knowing your alpha would be pleased. 

It was when you were checking out with Eun that you started to feel the ache in your lower belly. And the fire in your veins. You clutched your stomach with one arm, the other holding onto Jisung so you didn’t collapse. 

When Jisung went to ask you what was wrong, the most incredible scent he had ever smelled wafted out of you. His pupils were blown and his body went rigid. 

He used both hands to ground you and keep you from falling. “y/n.. w-what is happening?” He managed to get out. 

“She’s going into heat! You have to get her home now!” Eun had seen this before, she grew up with omegas. 

“Me?! Shouldn’t we go pick up Channie-hyung first?” The boy asked in pure panic. 

“No you need to take her straight home there is no time, don’t forget you're in a town with other alphas that can smell her just as well as you can.” 

That seemed to snap him out of it, hauling you up and wrapping his arms around you. 

“Eun, can you call Chan for me please? Just tell him I'm taking her straight home.”

Eun opened the door and helped Jisung load you into the car. “Will do! I’ll have someone fetch these clothes for her later. Be safe.” She shut you in and watched you drive off. 

---------------------------------------------------------------

Chan had paid a visit to the police station to speak with the sheriff while you were out shopping. Now was the perfect time to see what could be done about your missing persons status. 

He was assured by the sheriff that if you made a report that you're not missing, they can send the information over to the original sector and have you filed as not missing and end the investigation. Plus your current location would legally remain anonymous. 

Chan felt relieved by that, one less thing to worry about. That is, he was feeling relief until he received a very panicked call from Eun. 

“You need to get home right now Christopher!” She hollered as he answered the phone. 

He winced at her loud voice, “Ah, Eun what's going on?” 

“Your omega is in heat, that’s what the fuck is going on. She started right in the middle of checking out! Had to leave all the bags here!” 

Chan felt his heart stop and gut wrench. His omega was in heat . “Where is she now?”

“Han took her home, I told him not to stop for you and go straight there to avoid any trouble.” 

 “Thanks for letting me know. I gotta make a call.” With that he hung up on her. He would apologize later. First he had to get a ride home. 

The line rang a few times before Changbins voice answered, sounding out of breath. 

“What’s up bro? Finally wanna come join me in a workout?” His voice was teasing. 

“Changbin” Chans voice was hard, Alpha mode activated. “I need you to come get me from the police department right now. It’s y/n, she's in heat.” 

----------------------------------------------------------------

Your senses were on overload. You could smell everything. Every trace of the boy’s previously in the car, every trace of Chan. And you could especially smell Jisung. Your hands kept finding his shirt, trying to tug him closer as he drove but he (regretfully) had to keep pushing you away. You’re gonna be the death of me he had said to you when the tugging began. 

You hadn’t had a heat in years, not since you presented as an omega for the first time. After that you had been on high quality suppressants, causing you to not have a heat while taking them. That must be why this one came on so quickly. It had been days since you’ve taken any. Being in a house full of men, with your alpha, your body is going into overdrive. It was so bad, you felt as though you had no control over your body or urges. It was acting on its own at this point.  It was making you delirious and feral.

Jisung sped as quickly as possible, while still keeping you safe, to get home. He made it there in record time, tires screeching to a stop outside the door. Even with you grabbing at him he managed to slip out of the driver's seat, bolting around the vehicle to open your door and gently guide you out. When his hands made contact with the skin on your waist when you shirt rode up, you let out a whimpering moan. You would be humiliated about that later. 

Jisung felt his boner grow in his pants. 

‘what the fuck what the fuck’ He was screaming internally, wanting to just take you there on the ground outside. He knew he couldn’t do that though. You were Chans first and foremost. His alpha. He would never disrespect him or you that way. 

“Come on my baby, we gotta get you to your room.” At the mention of him taking you to your room you found your footing and let him lead you inside. 

Stepping through the threshold the first thing you could sense was an alpha. 

Jeongin made his way into the entry to see what the commotion was about , when he stopped right in his tracks. He didn’t know what was happening to him but he raced to your side. 

“No no no no!” Jisung saw the young alpha coming at you and tried to stop him. “Jeongin wait, don’t!” 

He didn’t hear a word though, pushing Jisung off of you and cornering you into the wall beside him. 

At the presence of the alpha in front of you, you let out a long whine, hands reaching out and grasping his shirt. 

Jeongin presses his nose into the gland on your neck where your aroma was emanating from the heaviest. 

“Innie! You have to stop!!” Jisung yelled in his panic, but was only answered by the younger man’s deep growl. 

“Omega….” Jeongin inhaled you, wanting to devour you whole. Never in his life had he wanted something more. He could almost taste you on his tongue.

“Jeongin!” Jisung screamed out again, “You have to st-“ 

“Stop!” Came a loud bellow, then strong hands ripped Jeongin from your body, tossing him to Changbin. 

It was Chan. It was your Alpha. 

Tears leaked from you at the sight of him. He was furious, not at you, but at the situation. At the sight of your dizzy appearance he hoisted you over his shoulder and headed up the stairs. Just in time for Minho to come running from his room upstairs. 

“What the fuck is going on?” He demanded, but one look at the situation told him all he needed to know. 

Chan yelled back to Minho “Help changbin get Jeongin out of here! In fact all of you need to stay out for a few days! We can’t have any repeats of what just happened.” 

Minho nodded in agreement, “You're right. I'll make sure everyone stays away.”  

Changbin was trying to force the younger alpha outside, into the fresh air away from you. It took all his will power to resist you himself, so it was a real struggle to try and reel in Jeongin. Changbin was lucky he had the self control he had, or he would be just like Jeongin. That's not to say it was easy for the alpha, no no, his body was aching for a taste of you.

Minho was herding them both along, Jisung following behind. “Come on guys, it’s alright. Let’s just get out of here and clear our minds huh?” He won’t deny he was affected by you as well. The tastiest thing he had ever experienced. It pissed him off that this ordeal was even happening, though. ‘I knew she would cause fucking problems’ he thought bitterly. Being the ever so responsible one, Min loaded everyone in the van and went to fetch the other remaining members. Time to find a place to crash for a few days. This blows.

A/N; Finallllyyy a little bit of drama! As always, I would love to hear what yall think!

Please do not copy or steal my writing and content! Reblogs, comments and likes are greatly appreciated tho!

doitforbangchan©

TAGLIST-

@chxnb97 / @butterflydemons / @zaggprincess2 / @stellasays45 /@uhhheather/ @walnutspie /  @a-mistake-tbh / @meowmeeps / @realrintaro / @ihrtlix / @raehawthorne / @juskz / @freckleboilix/ @marvelsmarauder / @0325tiny / @iyeeeverydee/ @stars-garden / @boi-bi-ahaha/ @gini143/ @queenmea604 /  @palindrome969/ @f9clementine/ @theysaidhush/ @kpophosblog/ @usercaiskz/ @honeym0chi/ @nobody3210/ @changbinswife10789  @5starluvr @usercaiskz/ @neyangi / @jiminssluttyminx/ @ayejaii/ @iknowleeknow/ @jeonginnieswifey/ @catlove83/ @upsidedownchaire/ @emmxxsworld/ @manuosorioh/ @igetcarriedawaywithyou/ @blondechanni/ @woozixo/ @ilovejeongin007/ @yaorzu-blog/ @theydy-madamonsieur

[ashthewaterghoul]

Everything's Fine - A Copia One Shot

Rating: General Audiences

Relationships: Gen, Copia & Imperator (it's completely platonic mother/son stuff I swear)

Tags: Angst, dissociation, derealisation, Copia needs a hug, author is projecting, author does not care.

Words: 1813

Everything was fine. That’s what Copia told himself at least. Or, I got way too excited about Copia canonically having dissociative issues and wrote this as a more detailed version of his perspective throughout RHRN.

A/n: This was definitely better in my head but I couldn't help myself. I have dissociation issues myself (mostly DPDR) and seeing Copia struggle too made yap and ramble and this came about! Any feedback or comments are welcome and appreciated!

~~~

    Everything was fine.

    That’s what Copia told himself at least.

    He’d seen the signs but his mind wouldn’t have it. Everything was fine, apart from his own doom, it felt. But he knew his own mother would never permit that, right?

    It didn’t matter now, he had a Ritual to perform. Adoring fans screaming his name, the crew waiting for him to give the cue to start Imperium. There were a few new things tonight as well. The skeleton dancers, the quartet on the B-Stage, that new lighting rig for Watcher In The Sky, Twenties for the first time and If You Have Ghosts for the first time in a while. Stressful, but it’s fine. Everything was fine.

    Kaisarion was going as amazing as always, an explosive opening to an explosive show. Copia did his usual of running backstage, his Ghouls deserved the spotlight. Sister was back there of course, looking as great as always. Kevin had been keeping a close eye on her recently, wonder what that’s about?

    That didn’t matter, he had to get back on stage. He got to his mark and everything was fine. Rats, Faith, Spillways all went great and his bat wings were waiting for him for Cirice.

    “It’s going great now, innit?” He shouted to Imperator.

    She was on the other side of the backstage area and wasn’t hearing him. So he went over.

    She’s in a wheelchair. She’s getting weaker. Her pills are all laid out for her with water to wash it down. She never could swallow tablets dry.

No, everything was fine. She was comfy in her high-back chair, her favourite tea and biscuits next to her. She had a blanket because she didn’t have the warmth of the stage lights on her like he did.

    Her bones grow weary, the chill seeps in and her heart won’t warm her up.

    He left for the stage and heard something shaking behind him. Was Swiss or Cirrus back here with their shakers? They should be on stage! Yet they were. It wasn’t more pills…

    She’s dying.

Read below the cut or on ao3

No, she’s watching the show. Maybe she just wants to join in in her own little way and borrowed one of the spare shakers.

    He got to his mark for Cirice and everything was fine. He chose a lovely person by the barricade to sing that iconic chorus to. He remembered when Terzo originated the idea, how excited he was. He missed his brothers; it took a long time for the reality of their passings to settle into Copia’s bones.

    Even when their bodies were paraded around for the fans. No, it wasn’t them, they were just dressed up mannequins. They would come back any day soon because this wasn’t real. Everything was fine. It took Copia a long time to draw the line between reality and what he manifested it to be. Even still, he hoped that one of them would interrupt his Mass, walk into the dining hall and lovingly kick him out of the Papa’s seat.

    He went back to take his bat wings off, no doubt Phantom would steal them later when they thought he wasn’t looking, and Ashley fixed his hair for him. Stubborn thing always ended up with a cow-lick. The reflection of the mirror was interesting.

    It’s an IV drip, she needs these infusions now.

Maybe it’s some new cool thing where you drink from a bag. Swiss showed him the bags in those boxes of wine, maybe this was the sober version.

    The first lyrics of the next song almost betrayed how fine everything was.

    “Ever since you were born, you’ve been dying.

    Everyday, a little more, you’ve been dying.”

    But that’s just a song. No one’s dying. Not the Ghouls, not him and not his mother.

    She will.

    Ritual’s chorus also sought to ruin the peace he wanted for the night.

    “Smells of dead human sacrifice.”

    No one’s getting sacrificed, thankfully.

    She sacrificed everything for you. Just be there for her now.

No. No one is dying.

    He went backstage again and donned his sparkling blue robes. Sister helped design these, so proud of her son and bringing him to the spotlight he deserved from his Emeritus blood.

    Her life’s purpose complete.

    He went back to take his mitre off and Sister was fine, everything was fine. He got his thurible and went back out. Con Clavi Con Dio went by perfectly, the lick of incense wormed it’s way through the air. It reminded him of Sister comforting him when he had a nightmare. It never used to make sense to him why she would pick up so many shifts in the orphanage when she had so many duties.

    He changed again for Watcher In The Sky, and Sister tried to tell him something, Nihil too. He thinks anyway. His mind was as foggy as the rig ascending from just above Mountain’s head. He could make out eyes, no words. Nothing. Where was he?

    “Go, go!” Sister urged him.

    Copia snapped back in and left for the stage. Watcher was fine, he gave his hat to Ashley and jumped into the crate to take him to the B-Stage. What was that thing the light was reflecting off by Sister?

    It’s the IV, for those infusions she was just telling you about.

Maybe she finally watched Star Wars and bought a lightsaber, maybe she finally watched the films like he’d told her to do for years now.

    He was being taken away to the B-Stage, and of course his father shows up. Slightly less fine but it’s okay. He’s already dead, there’s nothing to worry about there.

    She’ll join him soon. The Great Beyond calls her.

    “Listen and obey your mother.”

    Say goodbye while you still can.

“You don’t get it. Just listen to her for my sake and try to do it.”

    No. She’s not sick, she’s not dying.

    “For the new guy.”

    You’re going to take over. You inherited a title from your father, now it’s your mother’s turn.

“Right.”

    No! Why did he say that? Everything’s fine. Nothing’s happening.

    If You Have Ghosts went fine. Well, more than fine, those Ghoulettes are amazing. Chills all around from their gorgeously haunting talents. The speech he gave was one he was quite proud of. He didn’t know where it came from, he just knew he needed to assure his fans.

    Listen to what you say. It’s your life. Your ups and downs. You’re allowed to be sad about your mother, you’re allowed to enjoy your show.

    Twenties was amazing, the dancers too. Dewdrop’s solo, everyone hit their marks. And he went back for his black robes. He got to his spot for Ashely to meet him and looked over to Sister Imperator.

    She’s in her wheelchair because her chair that supports her joints is back home. Her IV is there, she’s taking more of her pills. She’s looking paler and paler each song. She wants you to know she’ll be okay but you keep refusing her. Refusing the truth. She loves you, let her be your mother this last time. Be her son while you still can.

Wait, why do his clothes feel different. He’s in his robes? When did that happen? What’s this on his chest? He picks up a cross. And drops it back down. Inverted only please.

    Just like how you invert reality.

The flame mortars were, thankfully, fine and went off on cue, just like he did to hand his Cornette over to Ashley. He looked over and Swiss was switching his guitars, Rain was taking his jacket off. It was fine.

    Sister she was… being seen to by a doctor, in her wheelchair, another IV linked up.

    She’s getting worse, and fast.

No, she was in her nice chair with her tea.

    Look at her doctor’s face, she knows Sister just needs to be comfortable now.

The doctor was rubbing her arm. Sister looks grave, staring at Copia.

    Copia willed the fog in his head to stop. For reality to come forward. He felt like he could feel every fibre of his robes yet none of them at all. He could see Sister clearer than clear and yet there was two of her, blurred and dancing around. What was happening?

    He Is. That’s what’s happening, he can deal with this later.

    Later, she’ll be gone.

    Miasma, he almost dreaded tonight because of course they would choose the middle of the show to have some family intervention. It was too mortal for Copia. He couldn’t bear to listen, yet the fog was gone. Sister in her chair and IV, her pills and wine as clear as day.

    His mind was on autopilot during Mary On A Cross. He wasn’t sure what his body was doing because all his mind could see was how it ended for his parents after that show in the Whiskey-A-Go-Go. In the cartoonish fashion of the shows he would stay up and watch with Sister. She would be scolded for it by the Sister Superior of the Orphanage, but both would promise to do it again.

    At least Mummy Dust went fine. No issues there, not his growls, the canons, nothing. Well, his shoe broke, but that’s easy enough to fix. Just Respite On The Spitalfields to go now.

    You sung it yourself, nothing ever lasts forever. Soon, she will go softly into the night.

He’s not doing an encore. He’s going to have a night out, maybe drink a bit with Sister. She had her wine goblet before, maybe it was a new red she had yet to introduce him to.

    Sister called him over, talking him into it. For a shocking moment of clarity, he saw his mother as she is. Ill, weak, begging for her son’s understanding.

    “Okay.” He told her, grasping her hand for dear life.

    Kiss The Go-Goat, Dance Macabre with the dancers again. It went great. He ran back for his red jacket. And saw his mother and father.

    “Right here, right now.” He said. And he was, high on adrenaline and everything feeling so good. He could see the chair, but he couldn’t focus on it.

    “See you on the other side, son.” Sister told him.

    The other side, when he returned, took him away. They all waved him off as he floated off in his balloon. Safe. Away. Disconnected. He was free. Soaring in a different realm to the others where it was just him, he didn’t need to hurt here. So free, so far. He could see Sister staring at him, something was wrong in her eyes. Maybe she didn’t like heights, Kevin was helping her down the stairs after all.

    It’s funny, Copia would think later, how much of an illusion his mind carefully structured for him to hide from the pain. Yet, it all came crashing back down so quickly.

[o2studies]

༻`` 1 June — Saturday 56/60

🧡 academia >> / (planning to study a lot of Russian as I've finished this year of school now)

🧡 physical health >> I walked a good bit today, there was a kind of fun day at a park and so I went there with a friend and it was SO MUCH FUN!

🧡 self care >> Sleeping in that little bit extra this morning

I went with K today on a single ride 6 or 7 times and it was amazing! So so much fun, we were screaming our heads off (it the one in the middle picture) and enjoying the music and the slightly sick feeling of being spun round at 100mph. It also felt really freeing to just scream and really funny whenever I'd say 'wee' in a childish tone whenever we'd start spinning in the seats again. We went to her house afterwards, had food, watched Emperor's New Groove (1 & 2) and had way too much fun texting out friend from each other's phones. It was an amazing start into summer.

More updates about this last week:

My exams went quite well I think. There is a couple I might have to retake next year but we'll see whenever I get the grades (I'm praying to God they're all A's or at least high B's). I'm quite happy with how they went tho and mostly proud of the revision I've done for them (I have really died down the revision in the last week and was so tired—physically and mentally— of it all)

I've been falling into some depression-related habits on this past week, sleeping in way too late and constantly, not taking care of myself, being really tired in the evenings and just wasting away the afternoons on my phone & isolating. I am already better and I know I'm working to keep being better. I'm really proud of myself for how quickly I'm bouncing back from that

I wrote some more in my journal recently and started writing out some goals for this year's summer! I would like to write at least some of them out on a post here soon and properly reflect on the list.

My parents had a conversation with my the other day about how I'm allowed to get a part-time summer job this year! I'm really excited, it would be good for me in many ways plus it'll keep me slightly more busy in these next 3 months which is good

I also got my driving licence!! Woo!!

I'm talking with my friends more often and really bonding with them too. We're getting a lot more comfortable around each other too (and the friendly flirting sessions we sometimes have are just so fun XD). We are going to make a good few plans for meeting up over the summer.

After the last exam I talked to another friend, A, while waiting for our buses and I forget how much I love having them as a friend. It was really nice to hear more about them and how she's been doing and her plans for the summer. I'm hoping to meet them sometime next week after their Birthday.

This might be it for now.. If I can remember anything else major that's happened I'll make another post to add to this.

Good night/morning everyone :)

[eemcintyre]

Surprise Me (Tom Cruise)

I've been pondering on this absolute unit for a while. Please appreciate the amount of time, energy, and NYC restaurant research I had to do, lol

TW- none

Summary- One of your friends, after a poor track record of setting you up on blind dates, gets one more chance and makes the most of it. You meet the date for dinner at an elegant NYC restaurant to discover that your friend has set you up with Tom Cruise.

Y/N was one of those people who had told herself, her whole life, that she would never go on a blind date. No matter how many months or years went by of being single, she had refused to stoop to what she perceived to be such a desperate level. Moreover, she was not actively looking for a relationship, as she was generally happy on her own, living a full life of work, hobbies, travel, and friendship.

However, one lapse- one lonely, alcohol-induced, self-pitying night of self-disclosure with a friend later, and that friend, Nikki, had become obsessed with setting her up. Nikki had arranged a number of dates for her with a number of men, who despite Nikki’s good intentions, mostly turned out to be questionable at best, and occasionally were potential serial killers at worst. Tonight was Nikki’s last chance- she promised that this time would be different and would make up for all of the other terrible evenings and to just trust her. Promises, promises.

Y/N exited the taxi that had taken her to La Grande Boucherie, the restaurant that she and her date had agreed on for the evening. It was an open-air French establishment situated in an alley between two avenues. From across the street where the taxi had dropped her off, she could see fairy lights wrapped around several small trees inside the restaurant, twinkling in the descending dusk.

All she knew about her date, from their text conversations spanning the last few days and the description of Nikki, was that his name was Tom, he was handsome with dark hair, fun and energetic, and that he worked in the filmmaking business. As Y/N lived in New York, it was not at all unusual to run into people in the film industry rather frequently- even she herself had worked in costume design, and currently production design. Although, he and Nikki were both a bit vague when she asked what exactly it was that he did. She figured that meant he was probably one of those “aspiring actors” who really make their living doing guided NYC tours or waiting tables and had a bit part in a B movie once.  

Y/N had never been to La Grande Boucherie before, and it looked a little more high-end than she had anticipated. Elaborate fixtures of spherical lights hung from the vaulted ceiling, and large tropical plants provided a small canopy by one of the walls. Although “Tom” had mentioned that the place was on the elegant side, she almost wondered if she was underdressed, in a simple, mid-length, classic black dress. But she figured the date wouldn’t last a particularly long time anyway.

If tonight’s a disaster, this is the last time you set me up and I swear I’ll key your car in revenge, she texted her friend a final time before slipping her phone into her purse and crossing the busy street. She wondered why she was feeling a bit nervous when she had been on so many unsuccessful dates and her expectations had become so low. No matter how hard she tried to suppress it, it appeared that a miniscule part of her remained hopeful about finding someone. And at this point, she really had no idea what to expect, as this was a much nicer place than where her previous dates had invited her. Though, of course, men with money had just as much potential to be terrible dates as those without, she was terribly curious, and equally intimidated. What had her friend gotten her into this time?

Upon reaching the front of the restaurant, she briefly scanned her reflection in the window, adjusting her purse strap on her shoulder and shrugging. She also took a moment to evaluate the atmosphere of the restaurant up close. Soft jazz music glided through the entryway, and the building smelled of a combination of rich, sizzling French meats and soups, and the luxury perfumes and colognes of the affluent people who dined there. She was not necessarily worried about the dinner being expensive- she made enough money to be able to splurge on something nice from time to time- but doubted that the overall night’s experience would be worth it, no matter how good the meal was.

Her gaze roved over the occupants of each table, but none of them appeared to be the mysterious “Tom,” either not fitting the description or already accompanied by other guests. Luckily, “Tom” had texted her a table number to look for. Approaching the hostess’ podium, Y/N inquired “Hi. Can you point me in the direction of Table 16?”

The hostess answered with a knowing smile that puzzled Y/N. “Good evening. Of course. It’s the one in the far-right corner by that display of pink flowers.”

“Thank you,” Y/N murmured, spotting the table and the back of the head of the man sitting in one of the chairs.

“Enjoy your night, ma’am.”

“You too.”

Y/N crept slowly across the tiled restaurant floor to Table 16, frustrated with herself at how on-edge she was. Feeling like she was being observed by everyone she passed, she almost tripped on a chair leg. Rounding the last corner and reaching her destination, she braced herself to greet “Tom” and finally see what he looked like.

Sitting at the table was a man in a simple black suit and white dress shirt with the first two buttons undone. He had short, dark brown hair, a few strands brushing his forehead, with green eyes that stood out against his pale skin, and a distinctive mole on his left cheek. Y/N froze, momentarily forgetting everything about what she was going to say, where she was, what she was doing there, and how to talk.

From his seat at the table, Tom Cruise grinned and said “Hello.”

“Oh gosh… wait- oh my gosh, you’re…”

“I am,” he grinned wider and shrugged. He was about to say more, when Y/N continued:

“I am so sorry, I- I must be at the wrong table. They told me Table 16 and pointed me this way-” she gestured frantically, feeling her face grow hot.

“Well, you found it,” Tom confirmed, gesturing to the small sign on the tabletop. “This is Table 16.”

“Oh, um, well, he must have texted me the wrong number… I am so, so sorry, this is embarrassing. I was supposed to meet someone here, and…”

“Wait, hold on- is your name Y/N?” Tom inquired, cocking his head to the side.

“…Yes, it is,” she answered slowly, feeling lightheaded.

“Do you know Nikki?” He leaned toward her from his chair. The look on her face was her answer. “I think we’re supposed to go on a date tonight,” he stated matter-of-factly, beckoning to the chair across from him. “Sit down.”

“Oh, there’s got to be a mistake here somewhere…” Y/N said, her stomach performing feats of acrobatics as she stood rooted to her spot.

“You won’t even give me a chance?” he teased, fixing her with puppy-dog eyes. “I thought we got along pretty well over text.”

“No- I mean, it’s not that, I just…” Y/N brought her hands to her head in embarrassment as she stammered, finally managing to move and take a step back from the table. “I’ll be right back; I just need to- I just need to use the restroom- I’ll just be a minute.”

“You will come back, right?” he joked, although his eyes betrayed genuine concern that she was about to make an escape.

“Yes, I’ll be back.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” She spun around and took several rapid steps in the opposite direction of the table before she heard him call out “It’s the other way.”

~

“Wow. I can’t believe you; I mean, what the fu-” Y/N hissed into her phone, holed up in one of the women’s bathroom stalls of La Grande Boucherie.

“-What?” Nikki’s voice sounded from the phone speaker innocently.

“You know exactly what you did-”

“-Are you actually calling me right now to complain about being set up with Tom Cruise? I told you that I was coming in clutch for you this time.”

“What the hell are you trying to do to me?? I am not prepared for this!” She snapped, detecting the footsteps of whoever else had also been in the bathroom as they exited rapidly.

“What do you mean? I’m sure you’re wearing something nice, you always do, and I know you know how to eat…”

“YOU SAID HE WORKED IN THE FILMMAKING BUSINESS, NOT THAT HE’S THE MOST FAMOUS ACTOR IN THE WORLD.”

“Okay, okay, calm down…”

“Why didn’t you tell me??” Y/N groaned, emerging from the stall to examine her hair, makeup, and outfit, which seemed to have gone from “possibly slightly underdressed” to totally inadequate.

“You know you never would have gone if I’d told you. You would have either thought I was trying to prank you or you would have had the aneurysm that you’re having right now.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do?” Y/N snapped defeatedly.

“Act like yourself? Do what you would normally do?” Nikki replied, exasperated. “He was interested in you just off of my description and you guys’ texting.”

A pink tint rose to Y/N’s face. “He was? You’re not just telling me that?”

“Hey, I’m a little crafty, but I’m not evil.”

“…What did he say?”

“He thought it was cool that you’ve done production design and costume work, he liked that you’re kind of outdoorsy… he was interested, okay? Get out there and talk to him instead of talking to me!”

“We are going to have a serious talk about this…” Y/N muttered, straightening the wrinkles in her outfit and heading for the door.

“You can tell me all about it tomorrow. Trust me, I’ll want to know every detail.” Nikki paused. “And you said I’d never set you up with anyone good.” Y/N could hear the triumphant smirk in Nikki’s voice and hung up, rolling her eyes.

“Be calm. He’s just a person. He’s just a guy,” she said to herself as she neared Table 16 once again, relieved to see that Tom still sat there.

“I told you I would come back,” she managed a smile, moving to slide into the other empty chair, when Tom rose from his place to pull it out for her.

“I’m glad you did,” he added, smiling back and looking equally relieved as they finally faced each other at the table. “I ordered us an appetizer and some drinks while you were gone. I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so hopefully it’s all okay…”

“Oh, I’m not picky.” Silence fell briefly, and before it could become too awkward, Y/N decided to address what was certainly weighing heavily on both of them. “So, you and I got off on the wrong foot and I want to apologize. I was just totally caught off-guard…”

“Nikki didn’t tell you?”

“No- well, she knew I never would have gone if I’d known-”

“Do you really hate me that much?” he chuckled. “I mean, I know not all of my movies have been great…”

“Not at all, it’s not that, I just would have been too scared.” Y/N dropped her gaze to her hands, twisted tightly together in her lap.

“Well, it’s normal to be nervous, but come on, I’m not so scary now, am I?” He leaned forward with his elbows on the table, smirking.

Y/N gathered the courage to meet his gaze. “No,” she admitted, with a grin. “I just feel out of place here, in this restaurant, in this whole situation.”

“I think you fit right in,” Tom assured her. “Actually, before our conversation went off the rails earlier, I was going to say that you look stunning.”

“T-thank you, you do too,” she stammered, feeling the blush creeping over her face again, cringing at her reply. He laughed, but it was a good-natured laugh, not seeming to be at her expense.

“Thanks. I tried.”

Y/N finally took a sip of the drink that Tom had ordered for her, a sparkling cocktail that tasted of cranberry and lemon. “This is good,” she nodded.

“I made a good choice?”

“Yes, you did, thank you.”

Soon after, the appetizers arrived- a roasted beet and endive salad. As they started to eat, Tom suggested:

“Now, why don’t we just start the night over? Hi, I’m Tom.”

“I’m Y/N,” she replied, and they both laughed between mouthfuls.

“You mentioned that you do behind-the-scenes work for film projects- what are you working on right now?”

“Oh, just a local documentary thing. Street art and its origins, styles, and cultural significance. Terribly exciting, I know.”

“Of course it is. But you’d rather be doing something else?”

“Like everyone else around here, I have higher aspirations. I know everyone has to work their way up- you know that better than anyone- but I also know that not everyone who puts the work in ends up making it, and it usually just comes down to chance and luck- being in the right place at the right time or knowing the right people. I’m just afraid that my miracle is never gonna happen, y’know?”

“Well, I really believe that if it’s what you’re meant to do, as long as you stay dedicated and a step ahead of everyone else, it’ll happen. We’re just not all on the same timetable. It happened early on for me, but for a lot of other people, they didn’t ‘make it’ until they were in their thirties, forties, hell, fifties…” He took a taste of his own drink- a non-alcoholic cocktail.

“I hope I don’t have to wait that long,” she said, half joking and half serious. “But what projects are you involved in at the moment?”

He obliged to the change in topic. “I have a lot going on with this action-movie satire piece. It’s one of those ones that’s been stuck in development hell for a few years, so there’s just a lot of negotiating back and forth; it gets tedious after a while, but I think we’re finally getting things nailed down. It’s looking like it’ll be a lot of fun once we get past the initial stages.”

During the course of this conversation, they realized that they should begin perusing the menu and decide on their main courses. As she examined the options, Y/N reminded herself that she could afford to spend a bit extra once in a while, yet the prices still managed to stun her. It must have been visible on her face, because Tom said “Order whatever looks good. I’m buying tonight.”

As Y/N opened her mouth to strongly protest, he held up his hand. “Nikki said you’d complain, but you can’t change my mind. It’s been a while since I’ve gone out, I want us to have a good time, and besides, it’s the way I was raised.” He shrugged, folding his hands in front of him on the tabletop. “Don’t worry, I don’t expect anything, and I know you’re capable of paying if I let you, I just want to. Okay?”

~  

When the server appeared with their entrees, the dusk had long since turned to nighttime darkness, allowing the fairy lights and orb ceiling fixtures to bathe all of the restaurant’s occupants in a warm glow. Y/N had ended up deciding on a mushroom ravioli dish, while Tom ordered a filet, and they shared a portion of seafood that he insisted she try. She was surprised to admit that she was feeling remarkably more at-ease.

“I am obsessed with this place,” he said offhandedly, having made it about halfway through his steak.

“I can see why,” Y/N giggled. “So, tell me: what is it you like to do when you’re not sword-fighting people or scaling the sides of buildings?”

Tom laughed, using one hand to smooth his hair back. “On those rare occasions, I like to do things like rock-climb, fly…”

She coughed on her food. “Fly? Oh yeah, that’s right.”

“Or cook, watch sports... I can have fun with both feet on the ground too. I’m down for just about anything.” He cocked an eyebrow. “What do you get into when you’re not designing the aesthetics of local documentaries?”

“Well, I enjoy a good hike or some skating, and I can be a bit arts and crafts-y when I want to. I do some drawing and painting when I’m between big work projects.”

She was amazed at how attentively he listened, and how he didn’t do it just to respond, but to ask questions as well. She was used to enduring her date’s life story without getting more than a few words in edgewise. She reminded herself that his entire job was to be a convincing actor, and so to not become too optimistic or believing of how he appeared. But damn, if it wasn’t difficult the longer they maintained eye contact and sat so closely and laughed with each other amidst the dim, cozy lighting and the soft jazz piano. Maybe she wouldn’t totally eviscerate Nikki after all.

~

After making it to the end of dinner, standing on the street outside, they prepared to part ways.

“You can ride along with me and my driver can drop you off,” he proposed.

“No, that’s extremely sweet of you, but you’ve done more than enough,” Y/N insisted. “You can’t change my mind.” Her eyes gleamed mischievously at him as she referenced their conversation near the beginning of the evening.

“Well, Y/N,” Tom sighed, “I’ve got to admit that tonight was the best time I’ve had in a while. You didn’t think it turned out so bad, right?”

“Not bad at all,” she replied, clutching her coat in both hands as a soft breeze passed.

“Good enough to do it again sometime? Soon?” he asked, eying her expectantly as the two of them shifted awkwardly back and forth on the pavement.

“Oh, I suppose,” she teased, though her expression was beaming. “This is the most fun I’ve had in a while too.”

A limousine pulled up to the curb next to them. She deduced that it was Tom’s aforementioned ride, but he was determined to stay until she flagged down a taxi, uncomfortable with the idea of leaving her on the street alone at night.

“You’ll have to think about what you’d like to do next. Maybe we could go flying,” he joked, as she eventually caught a passing cab driver’s attention.

“Maybe,” she chuckled as she approached the taxi. Tom opened the door for her, and before she slid inside, he placed a hand on her shoulder and murmured “Have a good night. Be safe.”

“Goodbye, Tom,” she slid into the backseat of the cab, smiling at him and then to herself as the cab started on its path to her home. Basking in the feeling of his touch on her shoulder and the slight giddiness that the earlier cocktail afforded, she lost herself in contemplation of the evening’s events, wondering where they might lead.