#bat connoisseur

[localapparently]

hello! by any chance do you remember which chapter was it where yjh said that hsy is similar to them (kdj and yjh)? you sound like a yhk connoisseur so um i'm assuming you might know, thanks!

I'll be real honest i am Not a yhk connoisseur.. im more of like a wet sopping rat who blabbers things .? also unfortunately I do not remember this instance. the closest I remember is during divorce arc where yjh says hsy is just like kdj:

Chapter 369

unfortunately I'm not insane enough to memorise every instance in orv yet. sorry for disappointing !

EDIT: user @gradually-watermel0n in the comments found it immediately LOOK

Chapter 385

[transgender-chiroptera]

Hello... if you are still taking requests... Could I please have a Little Red Flying Fox? (If you are familiar with Megabattie, I'd love Ms. Jackie! She's my favorite bat in the whole world.)

Took a month but I'm back in the bat drawing mood! Not Ms. Jackie I'm afraid but a little red flying fox nonetheless :)

[bat-connoisseur]

[rzdhc]

👀

this was originally drawn for the fashion hermits I asked for a loooong time ago

this is the second version I drew for it. I never finished it because the actual dress is a struggle for me, and it took me so long to do the sketch and I just dreaded doing the line art for it

[12u3ie]

🐰not all that intimidating because we've spoken and you're chill!

🐰 for barely intimidating

hell yeah we're chill 😎 same to you bro!

[roundtriptojupiter]

YOOO happy birthday guys!!!

thank you!!!

[bovineblogger]

hi! you can call me barley!

🍎 24 years old, it pronouns, aotearoa/nz based

🍊 i talk about bovines here! dont be scared to talk to me i love people!!! ESPECIALLY when they wanna talk to me about BOVINES

🍋MAIN BLOG🍋 🌾FAQ🌾

(header by @bat-connoisseur, icon by @dandydingo)

[stardew-shitposterino]

Stardew Valley Bachelors and their preferred pet names for you

You know the drill by now. Enjoy ✨

Sam:

-he’s pretty standard, so don’t expect something crazy, he isn’t good with words.

-baby/babe; pretty standard, but it’s what comes to his mind when he sees you. You’re just his baby girl 😩💕

-cutie; he won’t call you that all the time, but more when he is in a playful mood and wants to show you how much he likes you :3 “hey cutie, what are you doing there?”

-what can I say except I told you so🫣 he’s better with showing his affection through actions, not words 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sebastian:

-also pretty standard

-baby (this will come up a lot more I’m sorry y’all 😭)

-darling; but only when he’s in the mood for it

-(little) bat; because you kept joking about him being an emo/goth and he called you that for fun…it kinda stuck and it’s really cute ngl 🖤

-I have a feeling he will occasionally insult you as an inside joke too lol. Nothing too intense, he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, but he won’t hold back to tease you like he teases Sam or Abbey

Elliott:

-behold, he’s a connoisseur for good old-fashioned pet names

-darling; I don’t have to elaborate

-love (in the most tender, smooth voice you can imagine)🥰🤭🫣💗

-precious; because you’re the most valuable thing in his life 😍

-he will throw in some original pet names which will sound oh so fancy, like names of flowers he finds beautiful, or generally things he loves (maybe not Tom Kha soup or lobster 💀)

Harvey:

-he’s so sweet, he’s like Elliott in that regard, so he will use some outdated ones

-darling 🤭

-love; his favourite, he can’t but blush himself calling you ‘his love’ (😩💗)

-honey; he uses that one a lot too. When you have breakfast together and he reads something interesting in the newspaper, he’ll happily exclaim it to grab your attention

-dear; but that one not so much, mostly when he is “arguing” with you or tries to talk you out of a dangerous idea (the farmer is a bit unhinged and he’s so worried about you 🥺)

Shane:

-Shane is a guy-guy, but he has some variety to his pet names based on his mood

-angel; this one is my favourite for his pet names. Not only does it apply because you ‘saved’ him from committing a big mistake, but he also found a real friend in you which he didn’t have for most of his life

-babe; pretty standard, he uses it quite frequently instead of calling you by your name

-doll; sometimes that unintentional dad vibe comes through but I find it a bit funny lmfao

-he also uses plenty of stupid “insults” like Sebastian because he’s a little menace and mild bullying is his love language 💙 if you’re short you’re a dwarf or hobbit for sure despite him being a short king himself

Alex:

-Alex can be a brick-head, but he has some cute names he likes to use

-baby; wow, we haven’t had that one yet 😃

-doll; idk why; I look at that guy and it just fits 🤷🏼‍♀️

-farm girl/boy; it’s a nod to the time you just got to know each other. He likes to nag you a bit with that one which you lovingly play into

-gorgeous; he just has to emphasise how freaking beautiful you are to him 🥰 he will often go past you and pretend he’s hitting on you, as if you’re not married for 5 years and have 2 kids lol. “Hey gorgeous, I’ve never seen you around here. You have a boyfriend? If not I’d like to apply for that position.”

[vestaignis]

Дикий и неприступный: пляж Фронтон. Wild and forbidding: Fronton Beach.

 Фронтон - дикий пляж расположенный в 7 километрах от рыбацкого городка Лас Галерас на северо-востоке полуострова Самана, Доминикане. Фронтон порадует ценителей нетронутой природы и отдыха вдали от цивилизации. Со стороны суши пляж окружён тропическим лесом и скалами. Отдельные утёсы достигают 120 метров в высоту. Фронтон – необитаемый уголок Доминиканы. Люди здесь не живут. Зато полно игуан, птиц и подводных обитателей. В многочисленных пещерах также живут летучие мыши.

И хотя пляж Фронтон изолирован от стандартных туристических маршрутов и не располагает привычными удобствами, он продолжает пользоваться спросом. Частыми гостями этого места становятся те, кто хочет заняться дайвингом . Вдоль берега простирается коралловый риф, который и привлекают ныряльщиков. Чистейшая прозрачная вода с максимальной видимостью создает оптический обман. Кажется, что глубина совсем маленькая, а на самом деле в районе пляжа Фронтон идет резкий подводный обрыв. Сразу за  коралловым рифом начинается открытый океан и глубина – от 500 метров!

Fronton is a wild beach located 7 kilometers from the fishing town of Las Galeras in the northeast of the Samana Peninsula, Dominican Republic. The pediment will delight connoisseurs of untouched nature and relaxation away from civilization. On the land side, the beach is surrounded by tropical forest and rocks. Some cliffs reach 120 meters in height. Fronton is an uninhabited corner of the Dominican Republic. People don't live here. But it is full of iguanas, birds and underwater inhabitants. Bats also live in numerous caves.

And although Fronton Beach is isolated from standard tourist routes and does not have the usual amenities, it continues to be in demand. Frequent guests of this place are those who want to go diving. A coral reef stretches along the coast, which attracts divers. The purest clear water with maximum visibility creates an optical illusion. It seems that the depth is very shallow, but in fact there is a sharp underwater cliff in the area of ​​Fronton Beach. Immediately behind the coral reef, the open ocean begins and the depth starts from 500 meters!

Источник: /www.tourister.ru/world/america/dominican-republic/city/las-galeras-1/beachs/35011, dzen.ru/a/X-IRBffN_i6JBazJ, /www.tripadvisor.ru/Attraction_Review-g793703-d4476938-Reviews-Playa_Fronton, /idominicana.com/plyazh-fronton/.

[amorfista]

"Hey guys, I made some cookies for dessert. I hope you like the blumfruit ones, it's a new recipe :)".

Savage hasn't even sat down to eat! He's been cooking all evening and he just brought a batch of tasty cookies! Now, the kitchen can become really warm after using the oven nonstop, and clothes tend to become... rather bothersome.

One would think that Maul, a chest displaying connoisseur wouldn't even bat an eye at the sight of his shirtless brother, but the truth is, up until now he had only seen him wearing his armor! "Where the kriff did his clothes go?", he thinks to himself. Feral, on the other hand is quite familiar with this kind of situation and doesn't even notice. "Thank you for the great meal, Savage ♥" he says politely. He's one lucky zabrak :).

Now, here's the thing. . . . Here's how he actually showed up 🥴 🥴 

go ahead, shame me!! the mischief is done >:)!! Sorry for the lazy backgrounds, I'm kinda dead after working on this, for several reasons.

Taglist (let me know if you want in ^^): @dukeoftheblackstar @justalittletomato @darthmaulshispanichousewife @botherbother-blog @aftergloom @badolmen @ihaventpickedausername @ohboi @stardustbee @nik-barinova @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @gen-has-green-vibes @ejfivercommander @herbalinz-of-yesteryear @eyecandyeoz @noesqape

[kittenintheden]

Professionals

*boops fingers together and bats eyes @ u*

Rating: E Word Count: 1,650 Content: 18+, roleplay, sex work, biting, blood kink, oral sex, PIV sex

---

Sharess' Caress is busy tonight. A woman stands near the bar, perusing the evening's johns and janes, giving them mental scores based on personality, appearance, and style. She sips her drink, eyes lidded, and turns away a four, then a six, then a seven. She can afford to be picky.

She's making smalltalk with the barkeep when she feels light fingers brush the back of her arms. She sighs and plasters on a smile, expecting another modest offering, but she's met with a full-stop ten. In looks and style, at least. If the personality matches...

"Hello, lovely thing," he purrs, his voice sending a tingle up her spine. "Don't you look delicious. I'm called Astarion. And you are?"

"Very interested in what someone like you is doing in a place like this," she says playfully, lifting her glass to her lips for a sip. The liquor inside stings just right. "But you may call me Lily."

He grins, seductive and predatory, and places a satchel of gold on the bar. "Five hundred gold says I can call you whatever I like, I think. I’ll be honest. I’m a connoisseur, and there are occasions when I’d like to partake in… top-shelf talent. I believe you fit the bill, if my instincts are correct. And they usually are." He tilts his head to the side, daring her to say no.

She gives him a hard look up and down, finally meeting his ruby eyes. She sets her glass on the bar and uses two fingers to nudge the coin purse toward the barkeep. "We've a high-rolling customer," she says to them. They give her a knowing smirk, look over the john, then accept the bag.

"The Chartreuse Room is free," the barkeep says, going back to their mixing.

"After you," Astarion says, gesturing to her to take the lead. She does. As they ascend the stairs, he ghosts his fingers against her lower back. Gentlemanly, one might think, if one’s unfamiliar with the different ways people touch. She is not unfamiliar.

The Chartreuse Room is, predictably, quite green. Bottles of liquor line a shelf on the nearest wall beside a small bar. Lily walks around, trailing her fingertips over the polished wood and leans onto the surface, letting her cleavage rise up enticingly over the top of her corset as she gives him a coy look.

"Could I make you a drink?" she says. She reaches out and teases the neck of the nearest bottle suggestively.

Astarion moves toward her, already undoing the buttons of his beautifully embroidered jacket. He smiles, showing off too-sharp canines. "I didn't come here for a drink, pet. Not of that, anyway."

She shrugs. "Thought I'd offer, nonetheless." She pushes off the bar and approaches, letting her shoulders rustle the strings of glass beads hanging from the ceiling so they tinkle together. She stops in front of him, admiring his bare chest before raising her gaze to his face.

"And what would you like?" she says lowly.

He shrugs off his jacket and undercoat. "Honestly? I'd like to bite. Hard enough to break skin." As he speaks, his timbre drops seductively. Almost like he’s trying to seduce her.

Cheeky man. Cheeky man with expensive taste. She can work with that.

She cocks an eyebrow at him. "Well. That's not one I get often. But, for such a generous patron, I'll allow it."

"Good," he says. Then he's on her, fast as lightning, a hand on one side of her neck and his sharp teeth piercing through the opposite, a jolt of cold radiating through her nervous system. She gasps and grips onto him, surprised, but in seconds she's relaxing into it, eyes going half-lidded as pleasant numbness spreads. Before she goes weak in the knees from blood loss instead of lust, he pulls away, licking her off his teeth.

Blood play. Unusual, but not her first time.

"You are... fantastic," he breathes, dropping his chin and looking at her from under his brows like he wants to consume her another way. "Now... on the bed, on your stomach."

"Yes, saer," she says, swaying on her feet a moment before walking toward the low, round bed, covered in cushions of varying shades of green. She takes her time, lowering herself to all fours and stretching forward like a cat, her back in a deep arch with her arse in the air before she brings it down. Once she's in place, she hears the beads tinkle as he comes closer, then feels the weight of him on the mattress as he puts his knees on either side of her legs.

He leans down over her, not quite touching, and puts his mouth to her ear. "Call me darling," he says. “And I’ll call you whatever strikes me.” Then she feels his fingers at the sides of her hips, undoing the laces keeping her shorts on her body.

"Anything you like if you keep doing that, darling," she says.

He disrobes her from the waist down, pulling every article of clothing from her with aching slowness. Lily bites her lip, desperate to turn and see his pretty face again, but he paid his fee and he's calling the shots. She feels his weight shift lower, his dexterous hands spreading her open and angling her hips, and then she feels his tongue run along her. Instantly, she arches her back with a groan.

"I think that's supposed to be my job," she gasps, pressing her face to the silken sheets and biting her lip as he continues to work her like an expert. "I feel like I should be paying you. Darling."

He chuckles against her most tender of places, giving her another long draw from behind. "Hush. Let me enjoy my night."

She’s certainly not going to argue. A john who gives back? What a rare treat this is.

His hands draw her closer until he's drowning in her, until he shouldn't be able to breathe, and he lavishes her in a way she knows no other customer down below would ever. As her pleasure builds, she squirms against the mattress and he puts a firm palm on her lower back to hold her still, humming every now and again, the sensation making her shiver and cry out.

"Darling," she pants. "Darling, darling, darling."

Finally, she can tell his collected exterior is beginning to crack. At every cry of the pet name, he goes a touch sloppy. As her peak comes closer, he begins to murmur and pant against her as if sensing her heightened arousal, as if it drives him mad. Finally, she screams into the sheets as she comes harder than she has in recent memory, his mouth relentless until she can barely stand it. She doesn’t even have to act. Not a bit.

Astarion rolls her over, his chest heaving and his chin covered in her slick, and crawls over top.

Her head lolls as she gazes up at him in adoration. "What now, darling?" she whispers.

He goes up on his knees to undo his own laces, his arousal clear and present against the material of his fine trousers. He keeps his eyes on her.

"Now I make love to you like you're the only person who matters, Tav," he says, voice like gravel, and she melts clear into the bed. Whoever Tav is, they must be very lucky, indeed.

He's naked and beautiful, lowering himself over her, kissing her deeply. She accepts, circling his tongue with hers, tasting her cunt and her blood and her passion on him. One by one, he unhooks the buttons keeping her corset on her body and tosses it aside.

Briefly, she wonders how she ever managed to score this big. His hand, cooler than it should be, palms her breast firmly and then he's inside her and she moans like a wanton… well, whore.

Astarion kisses her neck, gentle on her sore spot, and sighs out his own pleasure. "You are perfect," he says. "The only one in the entire place I could ever... oh, you make me lose my mind. Tav. Tav."

She wraps her legs high on his waist, seeking better connection, and he angles himself to draw over the place near her entrance, the one that lights her up, and she clings to him like he's life itself. The range of motion in his hips is absolutely maddening in the very best way. He’s fucking her better than anyone else ever could and she uses every single technique in her book to give it back to him.

They rock and thrust against each other. He kisses her. She kisses back. They climb, and climb, and climb together, reaching for the sky.

Toward the end, his facade fully breaks to pieces and he sobs tiny breaths into her ear.

"Darling," she gasps. "Love me, darling."

"I love you," he says. "Always you."

Their mouths press together in open ecstasy as they come one after another, bursting into delicious, whole-body pleasure.

Astarion all but collapses on top of her, her legs spread wide to accommodate him. She gasps in several deep breaths, coming back to earth. Then she breaks into giggles.

"Stop that," he grumbles at her. "I'm a paying customer."

"Oh, that was good," she says, wiping the corner of her eye. "That was a good one. We have to do that again."

He sits up on an elbow, staring at her bleary-eyed. "How many asked before me?" he says.

"At least three," she says.

"Should've been much more than that," he says. "You're top-shelf merchandise."

She cuffs him upside the head. "Well, someone didn't let the scene go on very long, did he."

"We have the room until morning?" he asks, avoiding her accusation.

"So the barkeep told me when I asked."

"Well. Better make it worth five hundred gold, then, shouldn't we?"

[ijustthinkhesneat]

I guess I should put out a bat fam basic headcanon statement…..

Batfam Headcanon Baseline:

Alfred (69…nice)

-5’8

-British

-Is in possession of the coveted last brain cell

-Can and will kill for very little

-Despite having infinite shopping money for groceries he loves a bargain, coupon king

Bruce (35)

-6’4 (big boi)

-Italian (Southern Region) and Russian

-A brand of autistic that could be described with the word “grumch”

-In love with Clark

-Is a himbo AND a wet cat

Dick (21)

-5’10 (says he’s 6’0)

-Romani, Portuguese and French

-ADHD and joint hypermobility

-Pansexual menace

-Fashion ✨Icon✨

-Should quit being a cop and become a beauty guru

Cass (18)

-5’5

-Chinese

-L E S B I A N

-Selectively mute

-Does fake ASL around pretentious rich people, actually just Naruto ninjutsu signs

-Loves to grill a cheese

Jason (18)

-6’7 (Biiig Boi)

-Puerto Rican and Scottish

-A chef a connoisseur

-Hates Cops

-Bisexual/Greysexual (he’s not sex repulsed just not like that about it)

Tim (15)

-5’4 (pocket sized)

-Vietnamese and German

-Trans King 👑

-In a polycule with Kon and Bernard (maybe Bart too depends on the time of day)

-He was a sk8er boi

Duke (12)

-5’0 (A growing boy)

-Jamaican and Dominican

-The token straight

-Sleeper mario kart assassin

-Airdrops memes at galas to his siblings to see who will break first

Damian (7)

- 4’5 (he so tiny)

-Italian, Russian, Chinese and Arab

-Will ask if you have games on your phone

-Not allowed on the internet unless he is watching cat videos

-Also Autistic

[sgiandubh]

And kia... ora (?!) to New Zealand, like you've never seen it before 🤭

Just listened to Monica Gleberman's latest podcast with S. Twice. I can only urge you to do the same: it's 19 minutes long and well.. I'd just love to read your thoughts on it. By the way, I had no idea the woman even existed (happens a lot in SC world, at least to me) before she chimed in with indignation, you know... the Palestine Letter, and such.

But first, my short assessment, of course. By the way, this was recorded, I think, on November 1st, based on this X post:

Showbiz being showbiz, all grudge is now forgotten and you can listen to the podcast on Spotify, here (no subscription needed, of course):

OK, I honestly think her voice and her completely clueless, torrential debit are totally meh, but maybe that's just me. She made me think of one of those Tupperware representatives, always eager (hungry?) to sell something to you and do it quick, drug-dealer style. Some in Mordor thought she was drunk on the job (a half-emptied bottle of SS Gin was emphatically mentioned at least twice during the interview) - as usually, no humor and nasty.

I just think she was just acting too cool for school and #silly, with a severe case of ovaries going...

... on top.

Straight off the bat, the OTT praise is on steroids: how amazing S is, how he never changed, 'same sweetest person and like an amazing human being and friend to talk to and I just love you'. Kill me now, but that was unnecessary - yet still useful, since it prompted this answer (02:54):

'Well, that's very kind of you to say, but I think that's not true...I think there's...there's a lot of smoke and mirrors, this is ALL fake, um...underneath, there's a completely different human being. I have a double, actually. I AM the double. Um.. no, it's been a great journey, I'm very lucky and yeah, it's [OL] given me a lot of opportunities, as well (...).'

Translation: I am joking, but not even joking, if you see what I mean.

You'd think that was casual banter? You might want to think twice. Like all Taureans, bless their heart, S always almost heavily insists, when he wants to make sure the message gets across (07:12):

MG: ' Soooo, I don't know what's true, what's not true, but I'm just gonna assume that, you know, you looove watercolor. So, what is your favorite watercolor painting to make?'

Huh? Did I get that right? The answer does not match the clumsy question. At all. But see/hear for yourself:

S:' Err, you know what, I mean, I actually do, I actually have a couple paintings.. um.. from a..an artist called James Morrison, he was a Scottish artist.. he.. he actually painted a lot around Scotland, but he also painted up in the Arctic... the Arctic Circle... I'm kind of obsessed with him, so yes, this actually,,, this is truth...damn, I didn't know you'd actually put truths in here, but, you know...'

MG: ' OK, so we're already breaking barriers, right? Like revealing secrets so that is... that is... true.'

I shall not comment this. I do not think it needs any translation, to be honest.

The 'illiterate' S is, apparently, a keen art connoisseur and how could it be otherwise, if you only think of his mum? And Morrison is not just your average Scottish watercolorist. If you care to check his Wikipedia page (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Morrison_(artist), you'll find interesting things, like:

His works can fetch at auction (here at Christie's in 2006), around...

... and the recent (conservative) estimates are stable. You can check them here: https://www.invaluable.com/artist/morrison-james-1932-9fybkaiqbc/sold-at-auction-prices/. A very good investment, on a volatile, whimsical market (I know very well what I am talking about).

Surely enough, some of you will just hear that horrendous cackle and the flirt fest that totally goes south by the end of the podcast. But maybe - just maybe - if you listen a bit more carefully, you'd have a rare peek behind that damn mask.

[fieldsofwriting]

This has been sitting on my head for a while, what kind of Pokemon would the FoM cast have for as their team ?Au?

This one was tricky- i’m not gonna lie. My confession is that i’m not a huge Pokemon nerd, I know like maybe up to Gen 4 confidently. But- I do know how to pair these funky little guys. So, here you go!

HC’s under the cut

Adeline: Off the bat, I think she’d have physic type pokemon. She needs someone who can help her use paperwork and also help her take a load off. So I think her team would be: Raltz, Galarian Ponyeta, Espeon, Hattere, and Delphox.

Balor: Being our beloved rougish character. I think he would have both cute- and scary pokemon. So his team would probably consist of a lot of fairy type and ghost/dark types. I think his team would be: Mimikyu, Marill, Mawhile, Sinestea, Phantump, and Haunter.

Eiland: Look me in my eyes rn and tell me he would not have rock/ground type. He’s an archaeologist. Of course he does. His team would be: Leafeon (Not a ground type but I think it’s cute if him and Adeline both have eveeloutions), Phanpy, Onyix ofc, Silvally, Clodsire my boy, and of course the fossil pokemon- Kabuto.

Celine: She would definitely have grass or fairy. Just look at her. I’m giving her togepi because she would look so cute walking around with her. She’d also have Bonsweet, Given roses are a loved gift- i’d say she’s have Roselia too, Deerling for the vibes, she’d also have marill and a wooper.

March: Once again. Look me in my eyes and tell me he wouldn’t have steel/rock type. If you say no you’re wrong. He’d have Metaln- I mean it’s little molten metal. That’s like- his thing. I can not explain it- but Lucario. He’s a sucker for cute things, so Togedemaru. TINATINK. She’d like to help him hammer. Geodude. And Rockruff.

That’s all I got for now! Because this hurt my brain 💀 but if you want more specific pokemon teams you can let me know! Or- better yet @mistriarts is a pokemon connoisseur ask her lmao

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @bat-connoisseur

okok i'll put it on the home hardware shopping list, ffs

text: You have NO caulk

[immoralimmortals]

we hop-skip-jump back with more akatsuki questions! we hope your days have been grand and your songs sweet, tak(?)

if the akatsuki were exposed to the cuisines of our modern, international world, what would each of them gravitate to? would hidan be lured by the cooking of the southern american states, creole, the sausages and cuts and grinds of europe, the whole beasts of the pacific? would itachi look at italian cuisine and feel a deep pang of nostalgia of how sasuke would like this fare? what would these tongues make of our world's bounty?

Hello again! Yes, I'm Tak uvu Some more cusine headcanons for you, dear!:

Honestly I think you nailed Hidan right off the bat. I think he's a connoisseur of meat in specific, if given the time and lack of killing people (so only a world with no Jashin. Probably). I can imagine him, Deidara, and sometimes Kisame having a hot sauce drinking contest. Kakuzu would show up and blow them out of the water once and never participate again. I think Hidan would like beef jerky and pork rinds.

My dad is obsessed with the Red Lobster food chain and now I'm thinking about how Kisame would genuinely enjoy himself while everyone else is only there for cheddar bay biscuits.

My dad just bought at least 100$ worth of Red Lobster gift cards once finding out they're going out of business HE KEEPS ASKING ME OUT TO RED LOBSTER SOMEONE FUCKING HELP M

I've already said in a prior post that Deidara would be OBSESSED with pop rocks. Wouldn't be surprised if he seeks out other kinds of food that give specific sensations, hence the hot sauce bit just now. He'd love carbonated drinks, too. He can bullshit his way into convincing you that yes, Monster Energy Drink *does* require a sophisticated flavor palate! He'd try anything if it had a novelty factor, at least one he can take seriously.

Perhaps obviously I can see Itachi especially enjoying the vast variety of teas that one can acquire in the modern world. My personal favorites tend to be rooibos blends, so I'd like to give him a cup. God, he'd be a great cafe owner. Literal coffee shop AU type of man. I want him to tell me about the floral notes in this morning blend of green tea from the Himalayas. I wanna own a combination tea shop and bakery with him, that'd be the dream.

Kakuzu strikes me as a hardy, heavy food kind of guy. Stews and meats and breads. He'd probably like corned beef and cabbage and potatoes. ...Sorry my Irish in me is coming out. Gravitates to comfort food that keeps you full and warm.

Nagato and Konan are...interesting ones to consider, because whenever I think about them and food I just can't stop thinking about how formative starvation must have been for them. I think they can get overwhelmed by seasonings really fast, anything especially salty or sugary or what have you is in small portions. I don't think they'd deal well with the fact that the most available foods in some societies are saturated with flavor that's overcompensating for shitty processed food. I think if you gave Nagato a bottle of Sunny D it might actually kill him.

Sasori can't taste shit, I think, but if he did he's one of those assholes with PIN POINT PRECISION. Wine connoisseur. Chocolate connoisseur. Will intellectually wreck your shit if you tell him you're making spaghetti and serve him angel hair.

I think Obito would get really disappointed if you told him you were going to get mochi and you came back with the kind you get from the grocery store.

Zetsu still eats people, I can only presume. He might be interested in foods related to "stranger" body parts, brain cheese and haggis, that sort of thing.

Side note: several years ago when I first entered my never-ending Akatsuki phase, I read a really, really cute self insert or reader insert fic where the Akatsuki came to the "real world" and they watched Spongebob and Kisame made what the story described as an adorable face as he was shown how a soda can works. I've been looking for it and my heart yearns to reread. If you happen to find it, please let me know!