#because he knows that theres nothing exactly like it on earth

[kusuokisser]

saiki is a total collector. he loves to collect shit. he has an island he teleports to sometimes that is full of merchandise and different things and theyre all catagorized.

he especially likes collecting fossils. something about the mortality of it all is strangely fascinating and comforting to him. he hopes that one day someone appreciates his species fossils as he appreciates others.

rambled in tags just a bit but i think its a fine addition

[ange1ace]

𝓔AT YOUR YOUNG

tw: dark!luke, kidnapping, smut, cursing, innocence kink, daughter of aphrodite!reader, stalking/obsessive behaviors, violence

a/n: was gonna scrap this but we move on !!!!!!

ღ: in which luke believes you can fix him.

Theres a greed that arises from hatred-from envy.

Insatiable, no matter how many tries he attemps to satiate the huger that claws at him. He's empty, wafting through camp like a ghost because really? he's not there. His minds somewhere else, the only thing bringing him down to earth is the rush he gets from sword fighting.

He's volatile, even, like a ticking time bomb, the sound revolving in his head, relentlessly. Its louder when he forgets the hypocrisy, the rejection and for a second? something sick like sympathy snakes into his mind. His hand traces over his scar on instinct because if he presses hard enough? It burns-stings.

And eradicates any solicitude he thought he had.

Tick. Tock.

Campfires were never luke's thing. He sits towards the back, eyes downcast and shadows coveting him due to the flame. His hands drum against backbiter, something he uses to keep himself busy until he can go back to the cabin. The orange hues that bring him back so much so, that he quickly averts his gaze.

Tick.

His fingers trace the line of his sword, and he swallows. He'll be gone soon enough. Laughter echoes in his head at that statement, but he ignores it.

Tock.

Luke's mind is buzzing, thoughts spiraling like his head has a heartbeat. It drives him mad. He's about to leave, sneak and tell some lie to Chiron about forgetting to lock up the stables. Anything, if he can just get out. He walks, caught so much in his head, he doesnt see where hes going.

And walks right into you.

You stumble backwards, as he holds you to stop your fall. You look up at him with wide eyes, a hurried apology emitting from you as he takes you in.

"shit-'m sorry, i didnt hurt you, did i?"

He bites his tongue, retracting what would have been a sarcastic comment, and shakes his head.

"Should be me apologizing to you, sweetheart, didnt see you-"

You smile at him, shaking it off though he's sure you're head is pounding. "'Its okay ,-'m not even hurt-nothing ambrosia cant fix-"

You've regained your balance, staring up at him and something makes his chest feel tight.

Adrenaline, he tells himself , Adrenaline.

He brings a hand to your head, an innocent gesture meant for him to just check if you're really okay. But really? he just wants an excuse to touch you again after feeling the loss of heat from your body, and like he guessed, you're face burns again from the movement.

Cute.

You've regained your balance, staring up at him. Your eyes are slightly dilated, probably drunk of something a camper snuck into camp and if he was a good camp counselor-he would have reprimanded you, probably sent you to chiron to get punished.

But he's not, the term "good" almost foreign to him by now.

So he lets his eyes trail from yours to your mouth where your lip now threads between your teeth. Maybe you think he knows, and some part of him likes watching you squirm a little bit. Another comment dies in his throat when cold blue eyes meet his, ones that he knows too well,

No.

Your face falls when he steps back, your lips forming into a subtle pout as his indifference.

"Just be careful next time, yeah?"

He doesnt even give you a chance to respond, brushing past you as your face contorts into confusion, and for a second luke feels something rising in him, that he quickly snuffs out.

He's not stupid enough to fuck with silena beauregards little angel.

Luke cant sleep.

Insomnia's not uncommon for him-far used to the nightmares by now. But this-this, is different and he knows exactly why, no matter how much he denies it.

He thinks its aphrodite magic, that you've found someway to fuck with his head with those damn eyes of yours.

(Atleast that would allow him to hate you)

But it kills him.

How sweet you were to him. He knows aphrodite girls, that most would have given him a dirty look or mutter something under their breath when he left so abruptly, no apology gracing your ears or emitting from his lips. But you smiled at him, sweet voice serenading him until he's dizzy, even thinking about it now makes his head feel light.

( The timers stopped, something that flies over his head now, his thoughts only centered on one thing)

He supposes youre to blame, for not screaming at him?, calling him a dick and moving on?

Really, any of the scenarios would give him more ease. Curiosity aches to get the better of him, that maybe it would give him an answer to the enigma that you are. Piercing blue eyes resound in his head, and he sucks in a breath between his teeth. Eradicating any thoughts of any further pursuit after tonight.

And its good.

He doesn't need a distraction or silena gunning for him again. He convinces himself that he can abstain from you-the possibility of hearing that sweet, sweet voice again and falls into his bed.

But his eyes don't close and his mind refuses to shut off.

( And in the quiet, he hears the subtle noise start up again. Tick. Tock)

Irritation already settles on your face, by the time you get to the cabin. Words go in and out of your ears, none of them making a single impression as you roll your eyes.

“He was being nice, for christs sake!” you say as she stops, and turns to you. “it’s not like he pointed that sword at me or something-it was my fault, okay? and my heads fine-“

She sighs, her figure relaxing slightly as she dips into the bed beside you. Its weird, her reaction, for many reasons-but especially how much emphasis shes putting on him in particular. You know there's more-that she's not telling you something. But you're too tired and too wasted to ask.

(Or maybe you'd just rather not know what really goes on inside luke castellans head)

"Just stay away from him, okay? and im serious about this-"

You just nod, not for any reason but for hope that she'll get off your back about it as she leans back into the cushions off the bed and you try to feel comfortable in yours.

But you dont.

Maybe its the buzz of your short lived high, or the fact that you've never been a good sleeper or what you know it to already be, the drumming of a fake promise that resounds throughout your head. Because if its one thing you never were, its honest.

He sees you first.

You're upset, evidently, eyebrows furrowed and face formed into a scowl as you make your way to the sword fighting arena. He uses the excuse of an apology for dragging you here-that he just needed a way to see you and say sorry without being too presumptuous.

(Which is ridiculous, because even he knows that the boundary lines blurred the second he removed your name from archery to swordsmanship.)

His brain is fuzzy when you talk to him though. You mumble about being switched over-your tone indicating you're irritation though despite your failing attempt to cover it, his brown irises watching you so intently that you feel your cheeks heat up.

"but i swear i can get them to switch it back if you're busy-, clarisse is a bitch about timetables but im pretty sure i can get her to do it if i-"

No, is what immediately pops into his head and just as quickly comes from his mouth. Its abrupt and makes you pause for a second, staring back up at him.

"Wouldnt want to make you take an entire mile across camp for somethin' like that" he says as if he didnt make you take the journey before. "can probably find space"

He'd kick out every damn demigod in there if he had to.

Despite your protests, he does eventually get a sword into your hand. Positioning himself behind you, as his hands lock onto your waist, slow, intricate movements along your side under the pretense of 'steadying you'.

It has its adverse effects, what luke really intended to happen, as heat rushes up your spine, leaving you as distracted as ever. You try to ignore the urge to turn around, failing miserably as you turn to him. His grip tightens, as he shifts your body back around by your hips, his chest pressed against your back.

"Eyes up front, pretty girl"

A whisper-the nickname-so quiet you're surprised you even caught it and lukes even more shocked that he even uttered it. He should stop, take a step back, he knows hes well past that little boundary line he tried to imagine for himself. He knows hes enjoying it all way too much. But his hands dont leave your hips, his breath doesnt stop warming your neck because he'd be right back at your knees like a dog to its owner if he stopped-coming right back just to have that one moment of redamancy-even if its just out of pity. He snaps out of it though, reminding himself that he at least needs to finish his lesson like a dutiful counselor.

Distracted.

Its what he knows he is and what causes kronos's mocking voice to pop back in his head in the nights. He can only make excuses for so long-knowing that he needs to atleast put something in place before the solstice-before all hell breaks loose.

(Its starting again-he feels it, the low drumming that will eventually become a migraine, and turn into something more. A resounding noise that he's been able to escape with you, letting him turn off his head before his sciamachy begins and he paces like a madman. He wants-needs- to go, its why the damn clock wont stop, why he cant seem to close his eyes for too long.)

Despite his apprehension, he trails you around camp. Even staying at those stupid campfires, just long enough so he can see your smile when your eyes meet. A single moment before your face turn sullen as silena gives you a look.

You say something back, a comment silena seems to dislike as her face contorts into something irritated. Whatever comes out next, though, hits a nerve. He sees the way your eyes still and you swallow, a nod as you walk off before silena can open her mouth again.

And he follows you, making sure you’re okay, of course-nothing more, nothing less, like a good counselor should.

(Another feign play at innocence)

You don’t seem to know where you’re going either-weaving through the cabins, even passing your own. He’s fine with his distance, he’ll just watch, not interfere-he’s good like this.

That is until you stop, turning around with a look on your face that he prays isn’t for him.

“Stalking me now, castellan?”

Eyebrows raised, as you fold your arms. “Didn’t take you for a creep”

(He scoffs, though his reaction is only because you’re right.)

“Just making sure y’r alright” he mutters, taking a step forward-closer-too close-for either of your liking.

(Liars)

You stiffen, at his proximity, at his words-instinctively moving a hand to wipe your face of any remnants of tears.

“I’m fine-it’s hot over there y’know-“

Another step.

“The-the humidity-hot air, all stuffy and-“ you stop when he somehow finds a way to get closer, rambling briefly paused as you stare up at him with your face flushed. “shit-“

The silence doesn’t help. If anything it’s worse-even more intoxicating for him as he smells your perfume. Subconsciously, his hands move to your shirt, fiddling with the hem as you take a sharp inhale.

“Luke-“

He hates how you say his name.

It makes him feel sick-how almost pretty you make something so depraved sound in your mouth.

(But he’d rather hear it in another context-see how far he could push you, how sacred his name could really sound when his head is between your thighs and your hands in his as he kneels like he’s at some altar. He truly believes he might be-something almost sacrilegious in how he wishes to desecrate you.)

You only exhale when his eyes meet yours, and he allows a hand to snake up your abdomen.

“Yeah?”

So casual, relaxed, the exact opposite of the alarms sounding in your head to get him to stop. You should-need to, for both of your sakes.

You don’t.

Instead you let him, when his hands reach the softness of your breasts- you let him touch you. Let him run his hands over your sensitive nipples and pinch them when they harden. You’re just as greedy as him-he realizes, when he watches you arch your back in a desperate attempt for friction.

A slap on the hips is what gets you to snap out of it.

“Such a needy fuckin’ thing” he hums, trailing back to your thighs, “don’t think you deserve it though, pet”

You’re eyes almost go cross way when he kneels. A short lived victory, however, when you hear the footsteps of the returning campers. He hears then-he has to but he either doesn’t care or is too caught up to move.

“Luke”

Trying to get him to focus-to fucking move before someone sees you too. Instead a finger presses against the wetness of your panties. A squeal leaves you-a testament to his earlier thoughts about your sensitivity.

Cute.

You buck your hips for more, but he just tuts as he gets up.

“Should be careful sweetheart-not everyones as lenient about the rules as I am”

He doesn’t wait for a response, instead leaving your wetness on his fingers as he turns his back to you and your legs wobbly when you walk back to your cabin.

[tiredcowboyy]

the return of the two kings

It takes 1500 years for it to finally happen and its not in the way merlin thought it would. He thought Arthur would return, but when a man that looks exactly like arthur sits beside merlin in his political science class, well merlin realises that reincarnation wasn’t completely off the table.

Merlin introduces himself on the 3rd class, the first two spent of him subtly studying arthur, his face, his mannerisms, trying to figure out if it was really him, though when he heard the voice and name any doubt was swept away.

From that point on they quickly grew as friends. Merlin wasnt really sure what to do, he was told arthur would return when the world needed him, but nothing about if he was reborn again with no memories of his past reign whatsoever.

It stresses merlin out for a while, he constantly was on edge for any world changing dangers, however after a while he just accepted that maybe there was no reason. Arthur was just born again and he should appreciate that.

They quickly grew close, becoming the best of friends and eventually roommates and merlin couldnt have been happier, content with have the blonde back in his life.

Until one day he gets this urge to walk near the lake of avalon again, something hes not felt like doing since he found arthur again. But he does, distantly thinking it was around this time of year he had lost his king all those years ago. So he goes, the sun still rising as he begins his usual route around the lake. He takes it in, smiling at how much life has changed since he last took this walk.

He was distracted so you cant blame him for how much he was caught off guard, really that wasnt his fault.

“Merlin?”

Despite what anyone who saw would say Merlin did not let out a scream.

He spins around and comes face to face with his best friend, his roommate, his destiny walking out of the lake soaking wet.

“Arthur? What are you doing here? And why are you in the lake? I-“

He pauses, the air ripped out of his lungs as he realises what hes actually looking at. Something was different. Something was wrong. Because this arthur wasnt wearing his usual jeans and jumper, his hair wasn’t slightly too long because hes been too busy with work to get it cut, he wasnt making some joke about merlins poor coffee making skills.

He was wearing chainmail and armour, a sword in his hand one that merlin hadnt seen since that day.

This wasnt the same arthur he left at home this morning, the same arthur who was too busy watching last nights football on catchup to make fun of merlin burning his toast, the same arthur who he has lived with for 6 years and thought was his arthur.

No, this was the same arthur that he held in his arms as he thanked him and took his final breath.

Merlin doesnt know what kind of sick game the world is playing on him but that doesnt matter,

Because now theres two Arthur Pendragons gracing this earth and merlin doesn’t think hes quite as cut out for this destiny thing as he thought he was.

[tonowarii]

can we have light nsfw with spider x human!reader and they are like making out and spider (being the teenage boy he is gets handsy) one thing leads to another and there just exploring each others bodies not really knowing what there doing since they’ve never been to earth and never been taught about it but they just have that sexual feeling and later reader tells jake? or norm? about it and they sit reader and spider both down and explain to them and tell them they have too be careful when they get feelings like this for one another.🤭🤭

SORRY IF THATS ALOT TOO ASK FOR BUT I NEED MORE SPIDER LOVE THERES TOO MUCH SLANDER ABOUT HIM IT HURTS MY HEART RHIS MIGHT OFFENDED PEOPLE BUT HES MY FAVOURITE AND IM ASHAMED TO SAY IT YA HEAR ME🧏🏾‍♀️🧏🏾‍♀️🧏🏾‍♀️🧏🏾‍♀️🧏🏾‍♀️🧏🏾‍♀️

my hearttttt 😩💕 tried to make this as wholesome as possible, hope you liked it!

tag: @liyahsocorro

Code Blue

Spider Socorro x GN! Human! Reader

wc: 1.2k

warning/s: mature themes but nothing too explicit, kissing and touching, spider and reader are both 18! and somebody catches them in the end 🤣

You and Spider had the lab all to yourselves.

That wasn’t too great of an idea considering you two were teenagers, who were in a relationship, and now having time to yourselves and being left with your reckless selves… well- it was a mess.

“So..um..” You spoke up, the silence was getting the best of you. “Hm?” Spider perks his head up at you while he was inspecting some writings on the table.

“Do you want to do something…?” You ask Spider. “Maybe go outside, play a game or two…?” As you heard yourself, you suddenly found it stupid, but hey, you’ve got nothing to do.

Spider tilts his head, eyes squinting in thought.

“I want to try something.”

That sentence alone made you nervous, but what got your heart beating is that Spider was now in front of you, looking at you. “What’s that?” You gulped.

Spider found himself backing you until the back of your legs hit the edge of the table, making you gasp. “Spider, what are you planning?” You asked nervously.

He gulps. “Can I..?”

You did not know what was coming, but you didn’t refuse.

Spider then hoists you up, making you jump as it only aided him in sitting you upon the table. “Spider!” You gasp as he laughs, placing his forehead against your shoulder. “Sorry.”

Then only you realized the awkward position you two were in. You were sat on the table, your legs pressed on his either side while he was pressed up against you, making you blush and an unknown feeling bubble up in your gut.

Unbeknownst to you, Spider could feel the same feeling pooling in his gut as he has his forehead pressed onto your shoulder. With a daring move, he softly lays a kiss on your shoulder, making you shiver at the new feeling.

“Spider…” You whisper, making him pull away and look at you. Your unreadable expression made Spider almost regret his actions. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“ He was about to pull you back to stand when you shake your head, using your hands to tug him back close to you.

“Kiss me.”

It looked like the two of you were taken aback from what you just said as the two of you stared at each other in silence, your heart booming in your chest, afraid that you just pushed your limit.

Spider then slowly inched closer, closer, and closer until your faces were inches apart. “Okay.” He spoke in a low voice, almost a whisper.

Then you found yourself closing your eyes when his mouth met yours.

The two of you weren’t exactly skilled in this, you’ve only ever kissed a few times and it was just simple pecks on the lips, or on the cheek and forehead in the span of your relationship. And you never even kissed outside the lab because of your damned exopacks.

But now as his lips longed on yours, you found the feeling exciting, placing your hands on his cheeks, pulling him closer, slowly kissing him back.

It was hard finding a good rhythm at first, but the second you got in tune with him, it felt like you didn’t want to part any time soon. You both found yourself taking quick breaths before being on each other again.

Then you felt Spider’s hand, that was safely placed on either side of you on the table, start to move on their own accord. Slowly, his hands climbed up to your hips, then to your waist, up your sides, then back down on your waist, his one hand giving a soft squeeze making you gasp into the kiss.

“Damn…” You hear him whisper through the kiss as you laugh, suddenly feeling shy as you pulled away, looking at his hands on your waist. You only realized how much Spider had an effect on you. It was irresistible as you found yourself pulling him close again, bringing your lips back together, now it was your turn to have your hands on him.

Only then you felt how strong his body was, how his muscles tensed under your touch, how his biceps felt, down to his toned chest and stomach due to his nature of climbing and running. You could feel Spider take a breath, his stomach muscles flexing under your touch, now you transferred your hands to his chest.

Your lips were locked, getting hotter by the second as the feeling in your gut only grew, you didn’t know what was happening, but you only knew Spider was easing the pain. You sigh, nails digging onto Spider’s torso, making him wince slightly.

Pulling away from him, you took the time to catch your breath, so did he. Both of you were staring at each other, panting. His hands were now positioned behind your hip, giving a gentle squeeze as his eyes were wide.

“Uhm... wow.” He breathes out, absolutely drunk in love as he stares at you, goofy grin on his face. “I-“ You spoke, the both of you were rendered speechless, but what happened was still implanted on your mind.

“Do- do you feel it too?” You ask out of the blue; you weren’t even sure if Spider got what you said. But his answer proved he did.

“Y-yeah… its- it’s weird.”

You blush. “M-maybe we could do it more some-“ Spider was about to say when he was interrupted by a door opening.

“Hey guys, we’re back- Woah, woah , woah hey!” Both of you jumped at Norm’s voice as he saw the position you two were in. “Oh my god!” Norm said, his eyes screwed shut as the two of you fix yourselves, you hopped off the table, standing upright with Spider beside you, embarrassment now replaced the unknown feeling.

“Guys-“ Norm said, now opening his eyes to find the two of you standing awkwardly. He facepalms, muttering under his breath. “I can’t believe I’m actually going to give the talk, its 2172 for goodness’s sake.”

You and Spider look at each other curiously, before turning your eyes back on Norm.

“Hold on, I can’t do this on my own.” Norm said, leaving the shack.

Now the two of you were sat in front of Jake and Norm. Jake was complaining why he had to get dragged into this, but Norm only said, “It’s your kid too, man!”

The embarrassment was still planted in both you and Spider.

“Okay, first off, guys. What you two were doing is fine, its normal, everybody has done it in their lives, even back on earth.” Norm explained as the two of you stayed silent.

“But you guys must know your limitations, okay? So how do I begin this-“

After that long lecture from Norm and Jake, who only participated by adding jokes to make things lighthearted, you and Spider now find yourselves outside to get some fresh air after that whole ordeal.

“I can’t believe that happened!” You groan, covering your face, or mask, in your hands. Spider laughs, holding your hands so he could pry them away from your face.

“I mean, at least we learned something new, right? We know what that feeling’s called…” Spider said, trailing off. “I guess…” You sigh.

Spider holds your hand in his, smiling cheekily at you. “But earlier was amazing. Y’think we could do it again sometime?” This boy and his hormones! All you could do was laugh and shake your head.

“Sure, unless we get caught by Norm again.”

[ynkfva]

i think i finally understand why i hate luo bingge so much

i usually love the kind of character he is: vengeful, merciless, villainous. im all the way down for villains with a reason for them to be evil (and if you think bingge is anything BUT a villain, youre wrong). but i didnt felt that way toward bingge. and that really bothered me

there is a very thin line between revenge and cruelty. but its still there. and bingge crossed that line

that 👇👇 is the best way i could explain the difference

lets be honest: in ancient china, there was nothing wrong with a teacher physically abusing a student. it was common even. im not saying its okay but it HAPPENED and A LOT. for gods sake, it was normal in my country to teachers beat students until the 90s! even after that!

im not saying shen jiu was right, or what he did a good thing, because it wasnt. abuse is always abuse, and it should be treated as it is. but lets take Bai Zhan Peak as an example. Liu Qingge beat the shit out of his disciples, and no one batted an eye

but thats not my point right now, my point is: Luo Bingge was not "cool" for "taking revenge" cause what he did was not revenge, it was pure CRUELTY

!!Spoiler alert!!

it would be revenge if he hit shen jiu with a whip several times. it would be revenge if he made him do forced domestic work. it would be revenge, if he made him go through the same suffering that shen qingqiu put him through in the abyss

but no.

he made the entire cultivation world see sqq again as nothing more than the slave he was, he ripped off shen jiu's legs and arms, he tortured him for god knows how much time, he let his wives torture him, he destroyed the ENTIRE sect that had nothing to do with it, and he killed the only person shen qingqiu really cared about

and dont get me started on how he destroyed earth by bringing together the demonic and human worlds

lets use a metaphor for better understanding: theres a perfectly balanced scale between you, and every other person. And when someone hurts you, theres this natural desire to push back. To seek justice. To bring those scales back into balance. But when you do the other side of the scale never dipped below the balancing point

and thats not what bingge wanted. he didnt want the scale to be equal

because even if things were restored exactly to the way they were before, shen jiu would never knew what bingge felt like

he would never be brought down. And THATS what bingge wanted

he didnt wanted justice for what shen jiu did to him. he didnt wanted revenge either. he wanted to be cruel

he turned into a monster

and that make me sick

i honestly cant stand seeing people praising bingge as if he was a good person for doing what he did

[justmeinatree]

hi love ! How are you ? Can you please wrote another imagine about y/n being louis fan and louis have a meet and great and He flirt w y/n and then he whispered to wait for him to get some drinking together.please theres weed too ! Thank you sm love , youre my comfort acc there 🫂 so so so hot fanfic of yours ! Thank you 💗

right so this kind of got away from me 😅 i’m not sure it’s exactly what you wanted, but my brain just kind of took off. if you wanted something different, please don’t hesitate to reach out and ask for something new ! 🫶

Word Count : 1.4k

you weren’t quite sure how you ended up here. at the bar. with louis.

actually, that’s not true. you knew exactly how it happened. you ended up meeting louis. bit of a fluke, really, as he was doing a meet and greet, and you happened to walk by. curiosity getting the best of you, you stood in line, happy to have a very quick, brief chat with him, a warm smile, and a handshake goodbye.

what you never expected, or really understood why, was upon walking away and exiting the building, to have a hand land on your shoulder in an attempt to stop you.

and what you expected even less, was to be staring back at oli, a smile on his face, shyness creeping up on his features, as you looked at him, confused, “sorry, did i forget anything ?”

“no, no,” he was quick to get out, “m’actually here to ask you something.”

and that’s the story of how you ended up in a bar with louis. seems you had piqued his interest, and he sent his friend over to tell you so. and invite you to join them for drinks later on.

which, after a few drinks in your system, the conversation seemed to flow nicely. something you were slightly shocked about, considering you were incredibly nervous, and didn’t think you’d have much in common with him.

but the more you banter, and the more time you spend with louis, the more that seems to fade. but only slightly. it was louis for fuck sake.

“s’hard to hear, wanna go outside ?” louis asks against your ear, making you nod back at him, before following the path he’s created towards to exit.

as soon as the door closes, the booming bass gets blocked away, the quietness of the nighttime making you realize how loud it really was in there.

“that’s better,” louis sighs contently, as if he was reading your mind. “alright if i smoke while we’re out here ?”

“of course,” you smile, hoisting yourself up on a ledge to sit, while louis paces slowly, fiddling with his lighter, taking the first drag. which based on the smell, was not a regular cigarette like you had originally imagined.

“want some ?” he laughs, “see you eyeing it. don’t have to be shy, can just ask.”

“sorry,” you bite your lip, heat rising to your cheeks, a bit embarrassed that you’d been caught staring. “yeah, i think i’d like some,” you nod, hoping that the weed would help to loosen you up a little more than the alcohol had been.

“here,” louis smiles, stepping up towards you, hand extended to you to pluck the joint from between his fingers. “and there’s nothing to apologize for.”

“sorry,” you say again, a giggle rising from your chest, as more heat prickles your cheeks. christ, you were so awkward. “think m’just a bit nervous around you.”

louis leans against the wall that you’re sitting on, staying fairly close to you, without actually touching, his eyes looking up to catch yours. “i make you nervous ?”

you nod, handing him the joint back, starting to feel the prickly high, thankful that your nervousness was waning because of it. “i don’t know how to be around you. m’not really sure why you’d get oli to come fetch me in the first place,” you chuckle. “feels like i don’t really belong here.”

louis splutters around his puff, coughing some smoke out of his lungs, shaking his head, as he catches his breath, “hope i’m not making you feel that way. i want you here,” he murmurs, hand tentatively landing on your knee, flicking his eyes to yours again, making sure the touch was okay. 

“why on earth would you want me ?” you laugh, “nothing special about me.”

“now that’s not true at all,” louis tuts at you, handing you the joint again, letting you finish it off. “so far, you’ve been way more interesting to talk to than any of the idiots in there,” he hums, thumb pointing back over his shoulder, towards the door to the bar. “you’re also much prettier than any of them,” he adds a bit shyly, looking for your reaction again.

but he’s met with a simple chuckle, roll of your eyes and a slightly playful huff, “you brought a bunch of guys with you, i’d be slightly offended if you didn’t think i was prettier than them,” you answer sarcasm dripping from your tone.

“don’t take compliments well do you ?” he mutters to himself, making a show of pondering for a moment, “not gonna make my job easy, if i want to flirt with you.”

you can feel your eyes bulge out of you head, your heart stopping cold for a moment. did you just hear that correctly ? “fuck, how stoned are you ?”

louis laughs, shaking his head, taking a step away from the wall to stand in front of you, “gonna make it real hard, i see.”

“stop saying shit like that,” you giggle bashfully, hiding your face in your hands, “why would you even want to flirt with me ?”

a moment later, you can feel louis’ hands wind their way around your wrists, pulling your hands gently from your face. the soft brush of his fingertips against your sensitive skin sending a shiver down your arms. his eyes meet yours, a smile quirking up the corner of his mouth, “there she is. beautiful girl. might not have known you very long,” he chuckles breathily as it’s literally been a matter of hours, “but i’ve already learned that you’re incredibly kind, sarcastic, sweet, playful, happy,” he coos, “all things that make me want to know more. that make me curious to see who you are.”

he’s taken your breath away. he took the time to watch you, to see you interact with others, with himself, to find out what kind of person you actually are. and he’s managed to do it in a matter of hours. while drinking and smoking, mind you. something that others haven’t been able to do in much longer timeframes. and for some reason, your trauma filled brain is just not buying it.

“m’just being a good person,” you shrug, “there’s nothing to it really, nothing to admire,” you reply, watching louis’ eyes roll again.

“m’gonna have to work real hard,” he coos quietly.

when did he get so close ? when did you heart start beating so fast ? when did you start feeling his breath fanning across your skin ? when did his fingertips reach for your cheek in a soothing glide ? when did you become so mother fucking enamoured ?

“wanna have the opportunity to get to know you more,” he murmurs, mouth so close to yours. “and to kick the ass of whoever made you unable to see how much there really is to admire.”

“louis,” you puff out, eyes locked on his, breath caught in your throat. he knew just what to say. and maybe for once, you actually wanted to give into it. maybe it was your opportunity to give someone a real chance. maybe, just maybe, he’d be the one to break down that wall of protection you’ve so eloquently built around yourself. 

“will you let me ?” he whispers, his mouth even closer. so much so, you can almost feel the movement of his lips as he speaks. “will you let me get to know you more ?”

“m’scared to get hurt,” you admit quietly, your gaze leaving his, flicking down in slight shame. “what if you regret getting to know me ?”

louis shakes his head, eyes softening as he looks over your features, because now he really wants to hurt whoever it was that hurt you so badly. his fingertips glide along your jaw to your chin, getting your attention again. “how could i possibly like you less, if i know you more ?”

you bite your lip, a warm heat spreading through you, forcing a smile on your lips. one you couldn’t hold back even if you tried. “those are song lyrics,” you giggle quietly.

“yeah, so what ?” he laughs softly, his nose fluttering against your own. 

“so, i hate that it’s working,” you bite your lip, resting your forehead against his.

louis hums happily, eyes fluttering shut, the hand that was resting on your knee, now working its way slowly up your thigh to your hip, “really wanna kiss you right now.”

“i won’t stop you.”

……

Masterlist

tags : @gorlsinmultifandoms @cc-horan28 @acesofspadess

[pacifymebby]

Peaky Blinders Headcannons

Tommy

🌿Calls you his angel

🌿He comes across as stoney and cold, struggles to show his adoration, but it all comes out when he says thay word. "Cmere angel," "You're my angel," "behave yourself angel,"

🌿Sometimes he really does believe you were sent from heaven to save him

🌿Or to test him... He's so hellbent on protecting you, preserving your innocence, not letting you get close to the darker side of him and his business that he almost loses you

🌿You're always trying to soothe him, to get under his skin, heal him. You're not stupid, you've heard he's a bad man and you know it too

🌿But even bad men deserve love and you adore him

🌿So you keep trying to look after him. At night when he has his terrors you hold his head to your chest and let him fall asleep there, your hands combing through his hair. You'll fall asleep with him resting there like that and in the morning when you wake up, he's usually woken up before you and moved so that its you resting on him. His hands playing with your hair. You know hes trying to pretend the terrors didnt happen, but you let him pretened. Its slow work getting a man like Tommy to open up, the fact that he let you hold him at all is miracle enough for now.

🌿He's killed for you, he thinks you don't know but you do. Of course you know, he's done it so many times, too many times to hide it. The first time it happened you put it down to coincidence. The man who groped you in the Garrison, he was an unpleasant man, exactly the type of man you could imagine would get himself into a fight he couldnt win. When he got stabbed with a broken bottle in a bar fight no one had been surprised. But when it keeps happening? Its hard to ignore the fact that any man who so much as looks at you for too long seems to end up dead or blind.

🌿Is haunted by dreams of you dying, morbidly convinced hes going to lose you, that youre going to be stolen from him. This is why hes so possesive.

🌿 Nothings going to happen to you because hes not going to let you out of his sight, there will always be peaky boys guarding Tommy's angel. But...

🌿 If something does happen to you, Tommy's calculating the cruelest revenge, the slowest most painful method of killing. Hes militant about it. He'll hunt them down. But he'll be so caught up in planning his revemge that instead of being gentle with you and holding you/comforting you, he'll sit at your bedside with a face of thunder, holding your hand too tightly, his mind far away, plotting the finer details of revenge. He will not sleep until the bastard who harmed his angel is dead.

🌿 He doesn't involve you in business at all, if he had it his way he'd keep you at home in the country forever, never let you leave the sanctuary of the home he's built for you.

🌿And why would you want to? Your doting Tommy has done everything he can to craft a little piece of heaven on earth for his little angel.

Alfie

🐻 You're far too young, precious and pretty to be sitting in this old mans lap but

🐻 Theres nowhere else youd rather be

🐻 An unforgiving brute to everyone but you, his "ziskeit" (sweetness). He goes 0 to 100 and then straight back down to 0 for you. By this i mean, he's threatening a man's life in one breath, evil in his eyes, cold and cruel with all that sadistic humor mixed in, but then upon turning to see you've slipped into his office by mistake, he drops his tone, speaks to you calm and quiet and soft.

🐻 Has a habbit of beckoning you over to him so that he can whisper instructions for you. He loves how obedient you are and how delicate you look when you tread soft and quick/nimble across the room to be by his side.

🐻 "shikseleh, go wait outside for your old man, thats a good girl, you wait for me and I'll come find you as soon as i can" "patience ziskeit, will you do me a favour? I want you to go find olly for me right, and you tell him, that i told you, that if he doesn't come get this selfish little bastard out of my office I'll kill him...."

🐻 Sending you on your way with a little pat on the cheek only to stop you as you get to the door... "wait a minute, wait... I forgot something very important didnt I... Don't swear..."

🐻 He knows he can't protect you and he doesn't want you to be too innocent - after all hes a dirty old man and there are things he wants to do with you that innocent girls just can't do...

🐻 But he likes to pretend you're innocent and hes determined to keep you good so there are rules. Alfie loves rules.

🐻 No swearing, no answering back, you're to do as you're told by him, youre not to speak to the men in the bakery (they aren't even allowed to look at you) and if you're going to sit down? Well you must sit in your old mans lap.

🐻 He hasnt had to kill anyone over you yet but thats only because he strikes the fear of god into everyone he meets. No one in their right mind would lay a finger on you. The men in the bakery know to turn their heads away and avert their gaze when you walk in looking for your old man.

🐻 He has thought about it many times however... What he'd do if anything were to happen to you. Thats why he wakes you sometimes in the middle of the night, his fingers stroking your cheek, his lips skimming your hair. He'll lie on his back, the weight of your sleeping body on top of his, his fingers tracing down your spine, your head held in the palm of his hand. And he'll hold you all night, thinking about the violence hed commit if anyone ever even threatened you.

John

🌼 Brings you flowers all the time, buys you so many pretty things. He doesnt think he's good enough to win you over with looks/charm and personality so this is how he tries to attract you. With gifts.

🌼 But you adore him, and you don't need all these gifts to attract you to him because youve only ever had eyes for him.

🌼 He's a little insecure, so he's always getting into fights over you. Nothing serious really, but if anyone dares to observe how beautiful you are, John takes offense. "She's too good for me aye? That what youre saying?" "Reckon you'd like to try a piece of my girl?"

🌼 Calls you all manner of sweet little pet names but his favourite is "little flower,"

🌼 You bring out the child in him, he's boyish and careless with you, will play fight, sneak up on you and make you jump just to hear you shriek and jump into his arms. Will chase you and sling you over his shoulder when he catches you.

🌼 Can't take his eyes off you, you really really ruin his cool. His brothers and sister take the piss and he often finds himself embarassed and blushing because they've caught him watching you again.

🌼 Worries about you, worries you will get hurt because of his deeds with the peakys, naively thinks he can protect you from everything.

🌼 When you are hurt he's both full of guilt/shame and desperate for revenge. Whoever hurt you is going to pay with their life... But his first worry is you, he won't leave your side until youre better, or unless you manage to convince him to go.

🌼 Is always always big spoon, even when really hes the one who needs hugging. He likes to wrap you up in his arms, hold onto you and bury his face in your neck. This way when hes hurt you wont know hes crying (you know but you let him pretend)

Arthur

🍂 Kind of whipped?? Dotes on you completely, his brothers think its imasculating but he just worships you.

🍂 Anything you want or need, he'll get/do/give

🍂 Knows he should do more to protect you from business but feels hopeless to do so.

🍂 More than this though he wants to keep you safe from himself... He tries to keep a distance from you, and when hes angry he wont see you, he'll avoid you... Which you hate...

🍂 He has it in his head that youre more innocent than you are until one day you catch him when hes feeling violently angry... Hes in the most tumultuous mood, his brothers pissed him off and he's all riled up on snow...

🍂 Hes storming down the night time street, going to find a whore to use up all his anger on before he goes to meet you... Just so he can calm down... Really hes doing it for you...

🍂 But you catch him and tell him to take it out on you... You tell him not to hold back but he does, he can't do that to you...

🍂 But now youve been together so long and he knows he wont hurt you... That you like it when hes violent with you. He'll be so rough with you, he'll choke you, slap you, throw you over the table, treat you so harsh, but he'll always say the sweetest things to you. He'll fuck you real hard whilst grunting the most complimentary and gentle things. "Youre my fucking cherub darling, my fucking little cherub..."

🍂 He. Has. Killed. So. Many. Men. Over. You. So many. Even before you were his, if he saw someone look at you, or flirt with you, or just talk about you, he'd cut in and tell them to watch their tongue. Hes been known to lose his temper over almost nothing, beat a man half to death over one glance.... But you, in your own fucked up way, kind of love that.

🍂 Likes to take baths with you, in the bath hes gentle with you. Will sit between your legs and have you wash his hair, your fingers massaging his scalp make him feel so calm.

🍂 You are the only person who can really calm him down and dull his pain.

🍂 He calls you his angel, his saving grace, because he believes youve been sent to save him, to heal him.

🍂 Lets you hold him when he's calmed down from a rage and is upset, lets you see him cry but isnt shy about telling you it bothers him. You are often big spoon at night, wrapped around him comfortingly. He will take your hands and bring them to his lips, kiss every one of your fingers and hold them close to his face.

Bonnie

🍀 You are his little dove, he hasn't used your real name since the day he learnt it, you have just always been his little dove.

🍀 Tries very hard to keep his innocent dove away from the peaky blinders. You haven't met them yet and Bonnie doesn't intend for you to.

🍀 He just feels so protective of you. Youre much smaller than him, he can pick you up with one arm and your hand feels so small held in his. The thought of you being in the same room as the blinders sends a shudder down his spine. Youre too good, too precious.

🍀 Always holding your hand, whenever he has the chance. Always doing things for you, making sure youre okay. He's absolutely obsessed with how small your hands are in comparison to his.

🍀 Even before you were together he felt protective over you. He would walk you wherever you needed to go, or give you rides on his horse. He socked another lad at the camp once for pulling your hair and trying to tease you.

🍀 It took him absolutely forever to admit to anyone that he actually had feelings for you...even though it was very obvious. He gets far too shy and blushes around you. He thinks the world of you and can't believe his luck. Hes absolutely giddy with pride whenever hes with you.

🍀 Is so sweet, picks you wild flowers, brings you little gifts. He made a little wooden crusifix for you once and threaded it onto a piece of string. Its not the most glamorous jewlery but you never take it off.

🍀 Always holding your hand, playing with your fingers. Likes it when you wear his jackets and shirts. Especially when he has to leave you and go to do work for Tommy. He feels as though having his jacket around your shoulders lets him keep holding you even after hes gone.

🍀 Hasn't killed for you yet... Would kill for you in a heartbeat...even tommy shelby.

🍀 Is nervous for you to see him fight in case it scares you, or makes you scared of him, because youre timid and because you were scared of him when you were younger and before you were friends.

🍀 But he also feels really proud when you come to his fights, he wants to impress you and make you proud.

🍀And he especially likes when you patch him up afterwards and carefully kiss his bruises.

🍀 Dreams of running away with you, the two of you going to live in a vardo together, far away from the peakys, somewhere safe, travelling together, always alone together.

🍀 Desperate to put a baby inside you, tells you all the time.

🍀 There were signs at first which you supposed you missed, but once you're together a little while he has a real soft dom side to him youre not expexting. He's determined to stamp out any insecuroties you might have, praises you all the time, always telling you how beautiful /pretty/adorable you are and...

🍀 They're never said out loud but he has rules for you. They aren't like alfies rules, they're not as jealous. But,

You have to look after yourself, he reminds you when you need to eat, he likes to be the one who washes your hair, he doesn't like it when you leave the camp on your own and especially doesnt want you going into birmingham without him.

🍀 When you look back you realise he always had these rules for you, he'd never let you off on your own, he'd always been over protective... And you also realise youd always complied amd been good for him... You don't know why.

🍀 Absolutely will not sleep unless hes holding you, likes to feel your body pressed against his with you sleeping on top of him. Will play with your hair and draw patterns on your skin. Unless its the night after a fight in which case youre permitted to hold him instead.

Isiah

🐀 Knows he shouldnt but definitely starts fights to try and impress you

🐀Is always a little bit paranoid that if he lets you hang around with finn and michael, one of them will steal you away from him.

🐀Over protective, puts on a front of being a fighter who's tough and quick tempered, but is actually just very sweet and in love with you.

🐀Is quite cocky, always flirting with you, really enjoys showing you off... Very tactile, always touching you. He is especially tactile around you in front of his friends and you know this is because he wants to remind them that you belong to him.

🐀Asks you who you love/who you belong to on a regular basis, multiple times a day. He'll catch your hand as youre leaving the room, pin you down in bed or up against a wall, get all up in your personal space and ask you... Won't let you go until you answer him so sometimes you stall on purpose

🐀And sometimes you hmmm and give him the wrong answer just to see what he'll do...

🐀Poor boy feels he has to prove himself and so usually you end up getting fucked real hard, only allowed to cum when he asks you the question again and you give him the right answer.

🐀Doesnt have to prove he's a man because he's so sure of himself in that specific way. Which is hot... You like the fact he lets you be big spoon sometimes, that he lets you cling onto him and nestle in as close as you can. Secretly he likes the feeling of being held.

🐀Does have a bit of a temper, will get angry with you if you've been flirting with other men, sulks if youve spent a lot of time talking with Michael or Finn. Doesn't like when you join in their teasing of him... Has plenty of ways to punish you for it later. Isn't gentle.

Michael

☘️ When you first met you thought Michael was just a mummys boy. You thought he was too soft for you...

☘️ My god were you mistaken.

☘️ Michael has an underdog complex worse than Tommy Shelby, he is ALWAYS trying to prove something. That he's a man, that he's a bad man, that you're his girl, that he's good enough for you...

☘️ Sometimes he speaks too harshly to you when hes in one of his moods but when he sees the hurt in your eyes he apologises, makes you come to him so he can kiss you and stroke your cheek. He never tells you he's sorry though and you always know hes going to do it again.

☘️ But you kind of like it like that. You like hos angry streak, it excites you, you want to know how far he'd go if you pissed him off. He wouldn't kill you, youre almost certain of that.

☘️ And besides you have the temper to match... If he ever slapped you he knows you'd hit him back twice as hard. Sometimes That is the only thing that stops him hitting you... Not his deeply ingrained principles about hitting girls.

☘️ You watch him change, no longer soft and easily bullied, but fierce, just as cruel, just as rotten as the rest of them... Part of you is sad to see his sweet side leave him but another part of you, and not a small part of you, finds it hot, exciting.

☘️ You like pushing him to his limits, arguing back until he snaps. You like seeing his temper flare and youll do anything in your power to make him snap.

☘️ He's unnaturally loyal for a peaky boy, at first you don't believe it when other people tell you they've seen him turn girls down because of you, then you think it's just a phase, he's got that new love obsession. But after awhile you realise his obsession with you is all consuming... He won't cheat on you because to him theres no point in fucking someone who isnt you. He wouldn't get any pleasure or satisfaction from dominating and owning someone else... Only you...

☘️ You argue and fight a lot, you both have sharp tempers and the relationship looks toxic... It probably is toxic, but you don't care. You set eachother on fire, breath life into eachother. You like getting into trouble with Michael. It started as partners in crime, the two of you against the world, and in many ways it is, youre ride or die, no one can come between you...

☘️ Except you love to make him angry. You love to push him over the edge so that he grabs you by the throat and squeezes, choking you whilst he tells you youre his, "you belong to me so be-fucking-have yourself you ungrateful little brat"

☘️ Youre spoilt because he spoils you and he loves to remind you. Hes proud that he can. He was raised a gentleman remember and he knows exactly how to treat a woman. When you're good you get showered in gifts and praise and kisses.

☘️ He likes to control you completely, down to the way you wear your hair and the clothes you dress. He tells you what to put on in the morning and if he doesnt like what youve chosen he demands you change.

☘️ And this is where his softer side comes out... If he doesnt like what youre wearing he demands you change, but he's the one who changes you. He undresses you, he helps you into your new outfit. If he doesnt like your hair he takes it out gently and fixes it the way he wants to see it. He wipes your make up off, tells you you look too much like a whore... His words are always so harsh but his actions so gentle and caring.

☘️ When hes done he'll say something like "there, thats better," and kiss you sweetly.

☘️ Hates it when other men talk to you, most men don't because theyve seen what has happened in the past but Tommy has no respect for Michael and no respect for your relationship. He doesn't even really find you attractive, but he will touch you, flirt with you, try to make you blush, just to piss his cousin off. And it works. And you'd be lying if you said you didnt try to encourage that behaviour because when Michael has something to prove...

☘️ Its delicious.

[shuobox]

Hiii * kicks my feet as i try and make sense of your vague backstory *

Cassie rose…. White pumpkin beloved . wowie

Her backstory is so like. I want to study her like a bug sometimes. What on gods green earth is going on with her and the old builders

While thinking about it i pieced together a very delusional viewpoint of what i THINK mightve happened that would make cassie so . intent. on getting “”home””

(Inspired off of @/zoomire ‘s prodigy!cassie + vamp!cassie hc/au)

When the Atlas (portal hallway but like, not a hallway, think more like… layered backrooms cube with weird gravity and staircases. like those illusion paintings. With portals everywhere) was at its beginnings, found and studied by the old builders, the group was carefully discovering these new and strange places.

It didn’t take long for them to gather that these places can be dangerous. But where theres danger there are endless bounties that are BEYOND valuable in price.

It’s what helped them make this odd… …town? Place? When Harper created the respawn machine from parts gathered from the other worlds, it changed so much. Harper and Otto (and a certain… man) knew to be wary, but Mevia and Hadrian wanted to harness this newfound discovery by the reigns. It would be a waste, after all.

It didn’t take long for them to realize that it is verrrry easy to die out in these places. Its dangerous and its no good trying to juggle handling these games and something with boundless potential that is the Atlas.

Hadrian and Mevia knew the other three wouldn’t agree to it under any circumstance, ever. It was beyond immoral in a lot of ways, put simply, but the two had already discussed and planned and prepared.

They snuck out and into the Atlas as they usually did, no one batting an eye, and it was a few hours before they emerged. Hadrian holding a small, sleeping toddler.

To say Harper had questions and Otto was beyond appalled that they pulled a whole person— no less a child— into their world, far from their original home, would be an understatement.

Hadrian reassured they found the child when she was being held captive in a dying town with illagers patrolling all around. It was for the benefit of the child, if nothing else.

They didn’t argue. Much. They were aware that trying to wander back in and place the child back exactly to where she was would be useless; Hadrian and Mevia knew the portals better than they did and they weren’t letting up. Otto gave up; the debate that had settled between Harper and Hadrian did grant him the slightest idea to create something to navigate the Atlas.

Cassie grew up alongside the old builders. She’d learn from Harper most of Redstone and general morals and advice; Hadrian would teach her about combat and the games (to say Cassie found him as the least favourite teacher would be an understatement), Otto taught her to read and write, and once she was older, Mevia taught her about the more brutal sides of anatomy, where to strike and how fast or slow depending on the reaction you want.

When Cassie was 15, she was handed the Atlas Compass (because i dont ljke the idea of there being a book that just wooshes a big arrow to where u need to go), benign tools, and pushed into the portal network with a simple task. An easy one at first; find an ore you wouldn’t usually find back at home through one of the realms. Document a mob and bring back a body part of it. Etc, etc

She didn’t know much about the Atlas. The old builders never told her much— only vague information and that she’ll understand when she’s older.

The tasks would get a bit harder, a bit more complex each time; juggling beating the living hell out of people in the games when her tools had expended their use and fighting back swarms of mobs fetching items and blocks and finding a portal back.

She always sought praise that came from Hadrian himself. He was the mastermind of the games after all; the one who’d fearlessly taken her out from a terrible predicament when she was younger, one she hardly remembers anyway, and had always travelled the Atlas with confidence.

He always told her that he had such high hopes and expectations for her; that what she’s doing is worth it, that she’ll understand everything, and that he’s so, so proud of the way she turned out.

Supposedly.

—

Okay i give up on writing anything further because head hurty ouuu

Cassie would like. Eventually snap with the whole having to be champion over and over again to please hadrian because him seeming disappointed in her hurt cassie (saw him as a father figure lol) and also the whole thing with her having to toil through the Atlas and if she didn’t she’d get shoved in there anyway

After Harper leaves (and certain someone) and theres nobody shedding a positive light on cassie’s life anymore; she slowly starts going numb and then haywire from a cycle that is seemingly never making the three old builders satisfied

After the two leave Hadrian and Mevia get more and more harsh and expecting of Cassie; occasionally just getting her to do the work for them

maybe when she comes back all beaten and bruised and wounded after the games or after an expedition and is sent back to the atlas the next day when she’s hardly healed up enough, saying she has to do this again and so on— it makes her crack . and she attempts to attack Mevia. effectively killing her but the respawn machine causes her to come back anyway . maybe a fire happens in the process bcz of mevia’s tnt tendencies idk

Listen. Mevia and Hadrian are like. They are not good influences on anybody and were especially not to younger Cassie. They are nnnnnot built to try and raise easily influenceable kids. They are terrible parental/guardian figures that Cassie looked up to and sought appreciation for

(I mean, Hadrian always described Cassie as *his* kid. And so did the players of the games. )

Otto tries to get through to Cassie with words but accidentally distracted her as Hadrian already knocks her out and just sort of. Drags her into a dimension far away . Otto feeling guilt knowing he probably could’ve done something or reached out but it being too late now; tossing her into a quiet and dreary dimension where the nights are twice longer and dead rise stronger. Leaving her for dead.

And Cassie wakes up. beaten and limbs weak dragging herself to wherever she can find shelter . mind recollecting moments of before her impromptu snork mimimi time . and just like her role models all she can think about is causing immense suffering to all of them

(Hadrian and Mevia for obvious reasons, Otto for not doing anything and standing by watching, Harper and yay you guessed it Soren — for leaving)

and yeaa she like sets the traps and kills plany of people with several fruitless attempts at her murder mansion before the order of the stone come along and trap her in her own trap

(White pumpkin in this ver is … WAYYY more brutal…. Girl has a lot of pent up rage and shes learnt from the most gruesome sadistic ppl out there)

BUT ☝️ that was in fact not the end for her

But i don’t want to say too much bcz j want to reveal the last oc and then make a big ol post about my ramblings of my au . so huzzah

Headcanun time

- when I say she jokes in subtle ways I mean she’ll super casually slip it into a convo. She finds this incredibly amusing

- got Winslow when she was around ~13 or so. Would talk to her cat when she was alone and still does it today

^ Winslow got caught in one of Mevia’s explosives/fire, resulting in the loss of his leg :o( she didn’t talk to Mevia for months when it happened

- enjoys painting and reading to pass the time. Does not understand the concept of public libraries and will just take a book if she wants it (she doesn’t have a preference for any particular genre)

- got her whole “white pumpkin” alter ego idea from a murder mystery book she read from Otto’s collection

- she actually has really good wording on whatever she’s feeling. Mainly struggles to be vulnerable enough to say it aloud.

- still holds some spite towards Harper, Soren and Otto but ☝️ at least its not murderous intent anymore

- prefers axes and daggers above other weapons

- has a phobia of deep, dark waters + claustrophobic. Doesn’t like rain purely because it gets her wet and she dislikes the feeling.

- cut her hair around the time she was stuck in the mansion. Yes that means she has been there for a while given when the order of the stone came by, cassie’s hair was nearer to her shoulders.

^ ties it up now so it doesn’t get in the way as much

- Winslow likes sitting/laying across her shoulders like some weird lil scarf when he doesn’t feel like walking. Cassie loves it when he does this because she can hear and feel him purring

- enjoys logic puzzles/puzzles in general. Enjoys it even more when its a particularly complex one, even if its needlessly difficult. (Gets it from Harper…)

(Oc is next !! ヽ(ヅ)ノ also i suck at wording cassies story soz)

[ppnuggie]

maybs relationship headcanons for whirl with GN reader? and if you could, add characters of your choice too? thank you so much <3

　　　　　　WHIRL x gn reader

　　　　『　whirl ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> relationship hcs

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack ,, comforting whirl :(

　　— here you go ! :3 tysm for requesting ! i was gonna add nautica and swerve to this but i kinda got lazy

| • being with him is quite the ride ,, having gotten that close to him

| • while theres a lot of fun moments you spend together ,, from pranking some of the other crewmates ,, riding in his cockpit whilst on another planet ,, messing with ultra magnus's desk

| • though sometimes there's days where whirl doesn't feel too great about anything

| • on those days ,, when finished with your work ,, you seek him out immediately in his habsuite

| • you'll probably find him with his clocks ,, listening to his complaints and frustrations

| • your own tiny hands holding onto his larger class ,, pressing kisses to his plating

| • on days where he feels somewhat decent ,, you two do have days in his habsuite ,, where its just the two of you spending time together

| • he always picks the movies out ,, what dvds and cds you've brought from earth to enjoy in space because lord knows netflix wouldnt work light years away from earth

| • for some reason ,, whirl always picks horror movies and then complains about all the blood in them

| • if you make popcorn ,, he gets intrigued every time ,, as there's nothing like that for cybertronians

| • he would try to steal some but his claws cant exactly pick it up

[crossover-enthusiast]

first things first, obviously, the cult.

×××

lets go to skiddad first.

-

ok. so, lilas husband. my guess is that throughout the years, he has been raised into cults. i imagine he became rather rebellious of this, and tried to abandon that life.

though, became too caught up, and eventually tried to get lila involved, POSSIBLY resulting in his death from fear from lila that he'd try to involve skid. my guess is skiddad is the right hand man of eyes.

theres not much i can grab there, BUT i think its worth noting the mannequin and the spiders, and how theyre probably related to skiddad. the mannequin is seen moving and/or trying to prevent people from escaping or hurting lila (sm6, sm5 where bob tries to catch her)

but, thats all i really got for him.

×××

now, bob velseb

-

judging by this picture, i like to think bob came from a more wealthy family. though, this can just be him in a business meeting, or some other formal event.

my personal idea, is that he was raised in a wealthy family, and eventually left home to go venture outwards and find some quiet peace in wherever-the-fuck-sm-takes-place. small town n stuff.

there, he worked at boys & grillz, selling to kids all around town, and specifically lila. now, to me, its not exactly clear how or why bob got into cannibalism. from what i see, its not exactly a metaphor for anything (besides like, idk, the fact his name is a pun on beezlebub, gluttony) and my only guess can just be the cult. or he was just.. hungry LMFAO

but, what i find the most interesting, is that bob couldve been a family figure (or family friend) to lila. which could explain the theory i have, that lila is the one who caught bob and put him in jail in the first place. theyre close, and lila accidentally digging too deep or stumbling upon bobs secretive cannibalistic tendencies can explain why he went out to kill her (sm1). once thrown back in prison, having help of the cult, he escaped again and tried to hurt lila AND her child, but once again, failed. (and ended up getting fucking killed in the process)

also, i like to think that bob was.. probably found at a low point with his cannibalism, and given a chance out to join the cult. idk. he probably escaped on his own in sm1 though

his role does not seem clear to me, but i like to think he was skiddad's right hand man, and once he died, bob took his place. i mean, in my eyes, he must atleast be in some high authority.

×××

mr clown

-

not even gonna lie, not too much on this guy lmfao 😭😭

though, it is known very well that he kidnaps and kills kids (unlike frank, who most likely.. just holds them for ransom tbh.) as suggested in pelos doodles (obv theyre not usually canon, but i feel like.. this one kinda is)

hes most likely of high authority/ranking in the cult, but is then killed off by jack. oops! (jesus, jack has a streak of killing cult members.)

×××

eyes

-

my favorite one to explore so far, eyes. i love eyes, specifically because of the fact we know NOTHING of their ability and their reasoning of why they inhabit this earth. to me, theyre a parasitic alien. sent, or either just out of hunger to drain the planet. i like to think that they desire to grab the human race, and put it under their control. whether it be hatred, for sadistic fun, or just for their own satisfaction. maybe controlling humans factor into their feeding. who knows.

anyway, thats where the cult comes in. tricking and playing with humans, eventually getting skiddad to lead all these people along.

my idea of eyes powers, really comes down to this. this is only what we have seen throughout sm2-sm6

-stunning, dazing.

as seen to pump, kevin, hatzgang, and gregor.

-changing humans eye color when an inhumane presence is spotted or near.

this isnt tooo important, but i think it should be added. though, unknown why bobs eyes changed. could just be his relation to the cult.

-spectating through the stars

eyes is seen throughout the episodes looking out through the sky, this could be that they are fond of skid and pump, and want to see what danger they could be in. or, theyre just curious of the two little guys' lives.

-manipulation, brainwashingggg, hypnotizing?

this is kind of a stretch, but in the end credits, and in the end of the episode itself, gregor bows to eyes and most likely put under their control. end credits wise, gregor is seen with moloch, being held up while the cult is around them. gregor could be used as a tool to summon demons and eldritch creatures alike to help take over the planet. or wreck havoc. or whatever.

but other than that, thats my idea of eyes. thumbs up.... i wonder if they can die? otherwise everyones screwed lmfao

×××

john and JD (johns daughter)

-

johns daughter is teased through pictures and drawings. it is either thought she died in the housefire in sm4, or was kidnapped, and is currently being held hostage. i like the held hostage situation better, because it adds greater stakes.

we dont know much about her, but she seems to be a bubbly young girl, and john is grief-stricken once he loses her. also, i feel its implied that he is divorced.

my idea, is that multiple cult members helped with the operation, and kidnapped JD while she was sleeping.

see, this is good (on the cults end) for multiple reasons.

while it doesnt remove john off their trail, it does deteriorate him with the loss of his child. though, if anything this makes him more determind to stop the cult.

BUT, they burned the evidence too, he is now rather powerless unless he gains all his evidence back, which would take a while.

idk. i imagine the cult try to bargain with john. and why i think of this, is because of the little poster thats likely to be a spoiler/hint for future episodes.

i mean, long hair, tealish smoke.. it could be JD being possessed? and john having to pick and choose between getting off the cults ass, or having his daughter back (and alive). shrug. thats just my theory.

×××

ignacio

-

heavily implied to be with the cult, and implied to be the one who burned down the house, its also likely he called the cult on gregor.

also, if anything, ignacio seems to be of somewhat.. high ranking or authority. or in the medium range, as he was assigned to burn johns house down. he is the one of only cult member(s) that we know of alive. others include candy dealer, the thieves, and possibly gregor.

not much about him tbh. old ass man.

×××

gregor

-

not much with him either, but its likely hes brainwashed to be apart of the cult and help along with their goals and stuff.

×××

skid (and a little bit of lila)

-

now, this is awesome because theres a very clear tie to skid and the cult. especially with skiddad and stuff.

we know from sm2, that skid is immune to eye's stun/dazing, so this can easily lead us to the fact that skiddad was connected to the cult a little before skid was born.

also! i wanna make it super clear with how lila tries to erase skiddad from everything. countless photos torn apart (specifcally of skiddads face), even ones in the attic.

lila seems to be awfully protective of skid, fearful of the cult in its entirety, but also mournful of what her husband had become. and having to possibly murder him in fear and protection of her and her son being involved.

×××

the thieves and candy dealer

-

now, holy shit, i was NOT expecting the thieves to be apart of the cult, but it does make sense. my idea is that they were sent to rob lila's house specifically so that they could retrieve anything of skiddad and cult related stuff.

their failed attempts seem to be irking candy dealer, and he gives them a good warning before going away. tbh. these guys are silly dumb dumbs. i love them.

ALSOO, that spider. right. do you think that was skiddad trying to scare them away....

candy dealer, i have no idea what the fuck is going on with him, (besides him. like. being a drug dealer obviously) but hes definitely of good importance. its nice to see him ^_^

×××

the cult necklaces

-

i feel its worth mentioning these, as they seem like a bind to those in the cult.

i think me and @deadbatzz talked about this, but we had this idea that if anyone was bound to the cult (whether by necklace or just joining), theyd be like. sent into purgatory, no release from life, just frozen in this half dead and half alive state. yeah. (though, dexters another story, as he was like. possessed and then murder in their own body. AND not to mention the happy fella dolls, but those arent part of the cult.)

×××

closing, and one final theory.

-

i saw this a while back on a comment, and for the life of me i dont think i can find it. i know it was probably on a video that pelo didnt make, but related to spooky month.

the theory is, is that the cult is powered, or just has some significance with candy.

eyes is seen eating candy in sm2, and bob is seen stopping multiple times in sm5 to eat candy. while this could just be him having a sweet tooth, i like the idea of it being much more. he even gives up literal victims for candy.

woofh. but yeah, thats... all i kinda have? sorry jf this didnt help for anything of trying to figure out whats going on with lore, but it was fun to spill my knowledge.

Oh my god dude this is fucking sick!!!! I love everything about this! I don't really have much except

Eyes/the cult having a thing with candy?? That... makes far more sense than it should, especially now that we know the CANDY Dealer is part of the cult. I like this a lot

Also the thing with Bob. The idea of him coming from a wealthy family is honestly really interesting, especially with how his house is in such a state of disrepair in Tender Treats

Him being a father figure to Lila is honestly the most gut punching, because like?? Imagine learning this man you looked up to for years is a serial killer! AND IS NOW TRYING TO KILL YOU!!!

Genuinely I want to know what the fuck happened with Gregor at the end, bc according to the ARG hub he went "missing". Apparently he wasn't even in the town for that long anyway, so like??

Just. A lot to think about.

ALSO I was thinking of them using John's daughter as a bargaining chip!! That makes too much sense! Though tbh I just don't want her to be dead-

[liquidstar]

Ok so, I have only ever watched one episode of Adventure Time, and it was on a hotel room TV, in terrible hindi dub, and I barely remember it on account of being 10(?) but it horrified me.

I remember the MCs trying to get Ice King a girlfriend or something, but he keeps being a gross asshole so they take him to a lake and point at some swans to try and explain love to him. They point to two swans kissing like ':D' and he's like 'ewww' and then the male swan suCKS IN AND EATS THE FEMALE and IK's like ':)))' while the boys stare in horror.

IDR how the episode ended or how much I watched, but I remember thinking 'wow american cartoons are hardcore. I'm sticking to pirated pokemon from now on.'

And you are telling me that show had lesbians in it leter????

oh my god im so sorry but imagining you watching that swan scene as a 10 year old is so fucking funny, i can understand why you stuck with pirated pokemon LOL

adventure time is absolutely very fucked up in a lot of different ways. the early seasons leaned into that type of absurd shit you just described a lot more especially. while the later ones actually started getting more existential and building on the worlds lore.

there wasnt exactly a focused plot, per say. i mean, there was, but it wasnt something methodical and planned out, it was played by ear. and i think it really worked. the way they did it turned out a really cool magic system (based on the idea that reality is just collective perception, and magic users are aware of this and can manipulate perception ergo reality. but the more cosmic knowledge you have the more insane or depressed you become etc especially if youre mortal), and also cool world building (it takes place in a post apocalypse after a nuclear war, now far into the future the face of the earth has completely changed but the horrors unleashed still impact it today), and also a lot of really amazing themes (the world is always changing and nothing is ever permanent, but no matter how things change things also stay the same, in a different way. especially where bonds and love are concerned. everything stays.)

and YEAH there are lesbians (i mean i always hc marcy as bi but still). and they also come from the shows improvisational nature. theres a lot of genuinely really amazing relationships and plotpoints born out of that to me. like, as the show starts to get a lot more thematically dense later on it can seem like a weird shift. some ppl say it got pretentious over time bc its not as goofy (its still pretty goofy lol), but i think it worked... like... perfectly.

because its a coming of age story where the main character actually ages, it actually feels so right that the world around him begins to seem different too. it makes sense that when he was 12 we were doing stupid goofy adventures, when he was 15 we were watching him deal with a lot of really fucked up trauma, and when he was 17 we watched him learn to grow as a person who thinks beyond simple terms of good and evil.

i know im tottaaallly rambling at this point but theres really an insane amount to talk about with adventure time. the timeline alone is ridiculous. but mostly i think my passion comes down to the fact that i was also growing up with the story, always around the same age as the mc going through similar stuff... even now, the story is focusing on a depressed 20-something trying to find whimsy in her life again. and technically the last episode timeline-wise is about accepting death lol

so like idk how exactly id recommend it to a new viewer, its really possible that a lot of ppl wont be able to really tolerate the early seasons as adults (i mean, i think theyre charming, but i have nostalgia goggles lol). that being said i think that its a series totally worth a shot for everyone... eventually. if it sounds interesting you just gotta accept the goofiness at first and trust that youre in for something wild in a totally different way later on. and totally unique and cool and special in a way nothing else has really been able to capture for me since.

TL;DR: no yeah the show was incredibly fucked up and that swan did eat that other swan. but it does have themes and also lesbians.

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 3 - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Angel

I don’t remember if he was Catholic as a human (he was Irish like a few hundred years ago so probably) but his guilt complex as a vampire is so fucking massive it has to be Catholic lbr

well he's from 1700s ireland so. theres that. he's (for most of the series) the only vampire with a soul and he uses that soul to feel really guilty for everything all the time. he moves to LA and starts saving people from demons to try and atone for everything he did while he was a soulless vampire

he makes exactly one facial expression and its |:<

Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler Propaganda:

good lord where do i start. in the animated series he converts logan to catholisism and then fucks off basically thats the main thing he did there. i think one time they tried to make him a demon to explain how he looked but everyone hated that. he sold his soul one time to help his friends out after he died. he and logan have a weird little gay thing. he was a priest one time but he was made a priest by a fake bishop from a religion that hates mutants iirc so he just wasnt a priest. like 3 people have written him in a way i like and one of those is my friend just talking about how they view him.

wow marvel loves making catholic characters dress/look like demons

Kurt is a mutant who was born to mystique who looks a LOT like a devil (technically is half one but that cannon truth isn’t real go back to bed), his mother dropped him off a cliff when he was born and he was picked up by a Romani group/circus (fuck old comics man) however he then narrowly escaped being sold to a freak show and found himself in a small German town. There he met a kind priest, who showed him God, and he quickly grew attached to the idea- However, it wasn’t long before people began labeling him a demon and soon the whole town was against him with pitchforks and fire. Cornered and injured, Kurt thought this might be the end for him- maybe he would see heaven so long after finding it- but he was then saved by Charles Xavier who invited him to the X-Men. AND ITS BEEN SO MANY YEARS AND HE HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH THERE. SO MUCH. SO GOD DAMN MUCH. BUT THE MOST AAAA THING TO ME CONCERNING HIS FAITH HE WHEN HE LITERALLY DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN BUT THEN BECAUSE OF DRAMA WITH HIS FATHER HAD TO BRING HIS FRIENDS IN WITH HIM FROM THE BEYOND. THEN WITH ALOT OF TROUBLE THEY FOUGHT HIS FATHER AND THE ONLY WAY KURT SAW TO STOP HIM WAS IN A MOVE THAT STRIPPED THEM BOTH OF THEIR SOULS AND PUT THEM BACK ON EARTH. SO KURT CANONICALLY HAS NOW LOST HIS ABILITY FOR ETERNAL PEACE, LOST HIS VERY SOUL, TO SAVE PEOPLE- AND ALSO TOLD NO ONE NOT EVEN HIS GAY LOVER WOLVERINE.

Nightcrawler is a mutant vigilante who looks like a classical demon. He can’t even go to church without people panicking and trying to exorcize him. Despite it all, he’s so full of faith and hope and compassion, and he wants to believe the best of everyone. Also, he’s bffs with an extremely angry Jewish sword lesbian. That has nothing to do with anything, but it’s important to me that you all know that.

What if you were a devout christian and literally looked like the devil? He nearly became the pope, which was a plot by some supervillains that also involved faking a rapture? There is nothing like comics I swear to god.

A catholic who is half demon I don’t think I can better explain a struggle than that. But his character is so relatable to people who feel unwelcome with their congregation because of something that is a part of them but still feeling a connection to the faith. Kurt actively engaged in his faith and shares how his faith helps him through all the things he has faced in life and how he found a home with those of the church who leave the judging to God.

so they made kurt a priest briefly before deciding to retcon it, resulting in nightcrawler actually being part of a plan by villains to promote him to pope then reveal to the world that the pope is a demon. wild.

I have a side blog and a tattoo about him and i really really want him to win

Wisecracking devil-appearing devout Catholic with the Best superpower (teleportation)? HECK YES

German Catholic circus acrobat who looks like a demon & can teleport through a hellish alternate dimension with a puff of sulfur. Character of all time.

hes catholic and his dad is the devil. what could be funnier than that. also hes my silly little guy.

Nightcrawler is the world’s most fun catholic priest. I first was introduced to this kindhearted teleporting acrobat while he saved a boat full of stowaway refugees from inter dimensional pirates with swashbuckling gusto!

[mamadarama]

I wanna know more about Rei and Madara relationship but don't really know where in the story did they interact ( i read the whole goddam main story and still find nothing ) can you tell me more about them?

ya sure! their relationship was mostly established during ! era, so thats why you didnt find anything in the !! main story, assuming thats the one youre talking about having read. off the top of my head i know they interact in learning from the past and aquarium. (these aren't the only stories they interact in, theyre just the only two i can remember immediately)

the most notable thing about their relationship (particularly on madaras end) is that rei is one of madaras closest friends, and just like with his other close friends, he would both kill and die for him. (which hes mentioned before, in aquarium. in a rather dramatic fashion, actually.)

when madara was disowned by his family , he stayed with the sakumas for awhile until he was back on his feet. rei looked out for him a lot during that time and all through their school years. madara also apparently spent a lot of time at the sakumas house before they graduated. even now, rei still encourages madara to come to him if he ever needs anything (which he doesnt, because hes stubborn and doesnt want to be a burden) its also worth noting that both rei and madara (and i think maybe ritsu at some point but dont quote me on that) have referred to madara as reis "successor", but last i checked its never been elaborated on so no one really knows what that means or entails. even tho we dont know what exactly hes succeeding, it does follow with rei being a sort of mentor to madara . madara says most of the tactics he uses to manipulate situations and people were taught to him by rei . clearly theres a lot under the hood about their relationship that hasnt been revealed yet , so hopefully we get to see more of that in the future....

also not completely relevant but i think its really interesting: during the war, to get madara out of the way of kanatas "execution", keito used a similar method to how he got rid of rei (send him overseas to put physical distance between him and the school) which i think says something about how keito views madara and rei as individuals

anyways tldr; theyre best friends with a long history, madara is reis right hand man, and together they could probably build the scariest mafia on earth

[lexa-griffins]

Omega Lexa works in a sex shop and provides extra services for the customers via a glory hole. Her identity is kept secret for her protection. Alpha Clarke is one of her usual clients. Clarke accidentally knots Lexa through the glory hole so they're tied together waiting for Clarke's knot to deflate

The.... visual of them then tied together through the glory is... too much. Is porncom a genre? Because that is exactly what this is ajskdkdnd

Lexa knows Clarke, she's seen her walk around the store. She's bought a few things here and there, some she assumes are for partners and not herself but Lexa has learned to not judge a book by its cover.

She visits the glory hole a few times a month. Lexa likes her. She's easy to make cum, she's always polite with her even when she can't see her. Overall, a joy of a client and of an alpha.

Lexa has had a rough week and Clarke feels good inside of her. So fucking good. She's exactly what Lexa needed to make her forget the shitty week she had, from being yelled at by an alpha after so much as implying the dildo he was buying was for him and the beta she had to comfort as she cried about the omega she cant seem to keep as he keeps running back to his ex so she thought a funner toy could help.

Clarke is good at making her forget theres a wall between them. A literal one. She stays out most of the time and lets Lexa do her job o nstead of trying to be the big dominant alpha.

Maybe if Clarke had been more in control she would have been able to realize how close Lexa was to take her and she would have been able to pull out before. Lexa is so lost in how good the stretch feels she only realizes shestaking the knot when she's past the point of no return.

"Oh my god." Its really the only thing Lexa can say as Clarke fully enters her and groans, cumming inside of her.

Fuck doesnt quite cut it.

"I- Im stuck."

Yeah, no shit, smartest alpha on earth.

"We're stuck."

"I should have pulled out, Im sorry."

"I was the one in control, I should have realized it, its my fault."

Silence.

"Are you comfortable like that?"

No, "I guess. Its not like there much we can do anyways." She's bent over and her legs are a ldittle shaky but luckily the stall is small enough she can hold herself up.

"Im sorry."

"Youve said that already."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

Lexa snorts with humor, making her body shake and a small moan to leave them both.

"How long do you usually take to go down?"

"Half an hour, one hour? Depends. My rut isnt close so it should be more on the higher end."

"Great."

"Im s-"

"Clarke if you say sorry i will punch you once i get to see your face."

"Hey i- wait how do yoh know my name?"

"Hmmm....."

"Wait, your voice.... oh my god are toh Lexa, the front desk girl?"

Lexa winces, "Hi."

Clarke's breathing seems to get slightly faster on the other side of the wall, "are you doing okay over there?"

"Yeah, yeah." A laugh.

"Whats so funny?"

"Ive had a crush on you for ages now. I had no idea it was you on that side."

"What?"

"I havent had a partner in ages. Ive been accumulating sex toys i dont even use at my house for months just to come here and see you. Oh shit that sounds really fucking creepy when i say it out loud doesnt it?"

"A little. But sweet. In a slightly creepy way."

"Oh my god this day could be going better."

"I've had worst ones this week."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But i doubt you eanna hear about it."

"Oh believe me I have nothing but time."

Its about forty minutes before they can get free. Lexa gasps at the amount of cum that leaves her before she sees a small towel being offered to her from the top of the stall door, the watch on the wrist a clear indication its Clarke.

"Sorry, i know its usually hm, a lot."

"Its alright. Idn another circumstances id probably be delighted its so much."

"Im gonna leave the at the counter and go. With extra of course."

"Oh, okay."

There's a throat clearing from the other side of the door, "Bye Lexa. For all its worth, there is no one else id rather be stuck like that with."

Lexa stops cleaning herself to stare at the closed door. She snorts again.

"I really need to stop sounding creepy dont I?"

"Yes. But it had its charm-"

"Im a creepy way." They say in unison before laughing.

"Bye Lexa."

"See ya Clarke."

Lexa listens for the bathroom door to close with a little hesitation.

By the time she's presentable, Clarke is gone and the store is empty. The money sits on the counter with an added 50$ for the whole mess. As Lexa collects the money she finds a paper with a phone number.

"I swear im less creepy face to face. X Clarke"

[kyanitedreamer]

I hate to keep posting about this but my situation hasn’t improved, and for the people in my life who care about me I’m trying my best to hang in there but to keep surviving I still need help u.u

In the past couple months I’ve rapidly developed worsening symptoms of an autoimmune disease which basically means I suffer chronic pain daily that is at best hindered a bit by things like advil. I have an appointment to see my doctor on the 22nd where I’m hoping he can give me more answers and help give me the means to start getting finanial assistence for my disability. Last week I finally had to walk out on my job for my own physical and mental wellbeing and although i have a side job watching the door at a local bar I don’t start till this weekend and it will not be enough to support both me and my cat Jynx. I’ve only survived thus far by the kindness of my friends and some family and been able to eat thanks to my connections to a food pantry I worked at previously.

There are some days i can’t even get out of bed yet I’m trying to remain positive in the wake of my terrible misfortune over the past year that has led me to this point. Some days i do think it would be best to give up but i know that i can’t because theres people that care about me and still so much i’d like to do with my life - most importantly I’d like to be able to cheer up and entertain those in the LGBTQIA+ community and also those with mental illness like myself. It’s not exactly an earth-shattering goal i know, but being in this situation has made me appreciate all the friends/streamers/strangers who provide small acts of kindness everyday that mean the world to others they have an effect on.

As I’ve said in previous posts, asking for help like this is something I’ve never wanted to do, I’ve outright told friends that I’d rather die than have to be burden on anyone. But the truth is I want to live, for me, for my loved ones, for anyone in the future I may be able to make smile or forget about their problems even for a moment.

Apologies for rambling, I’ll try to get to the point, thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far though ;-;

Part of being in such a bad financial state has been me putting off purchasing some of my medications including my Anti-Anxiety/Depression meds(Sertraline), Allergy meds(any generic zyrtec), and Pain relievers(advil). Because I’m so lucky my seasonal allergies just kicked in today and have had me extra sore just from the sneezing. So anything anyone can spare to donate even just $1 will be going toward those medications, cat food, or food/essentials to help me survive and make it through this. I’m so so grateful for the donations I’ve already received and i don’t want anyone making things harder on themselves for me - but if you read this and have the money to spare i would really appreciate it!!

If you don’t want to or can’t donate every reblog helps me out as well!

Also if you don’t want to donate for nothing I have a fair amount of Yu-gi-oh Cards, Video Games, and Bionicles I’d be willing to part with in exchange so feel free to messege me or send me an ask if you’re interested!

As always thank you all so much for your time and support 💙💙💙

[tacit-semantics]

It’s 3am which means it’s finally time. Dirk OCD posting under the cut. cw for in depth descriptions of compulsive behaviors regarding scrupulosity (moral), violent intrusive thoughts (alluded to, non-graphic), and contamination, as well as mentions of self harm. If you’re prone to picking up obsessions or compulsions through reading about them, I would suggest skipping out on this one

So first of all I wanna say that this is not intended to function as a set of assumptions/inferences that point towards dirk having ocd in canon so much as a set of ways in I, as a person with ocd, saw myself in him. It’s a very… enthusiastic headcanon of mine though so this switches back and forth between long winded babbling and then its canon inspiration depending on how excited I am at any given moment. Also, disclaimer: ocd can manifest in a whole bunch of ways, and a lot of them are super specific to the person in question, which is to say that I’ll be drawing a lot (but not entirely, on account of the fact that there’s very much a limit as to what I’m willing to discuss regarding me specifically) from personal experience for the sole reason that that’s how I best understand the disorder. Now, getting into it!

- first things first: he’s got scrupulosity obsessions, I think, specifically moral. Very, very afraid of hurting the people close to him, which in turn manifests as a sort of hypervigilance in everything he says and does. I think that in this context the knowledge of Bro would be equally devastating and necessary in that he’s concrete proof of the worst case scenario, and acceptance of that possibility is necessary to overcome ocd, but also like. I don’t think theres much in the way of mental health accommodations on post apocalyptic earth (much the same as current earth actually), so in practice this would just be Bad.

- speaking of hypervigilance: his attention always being split between his physical body and his dream self reminded me a lot of how a solid chunk of my brains processing power is always devoted to various bullshit, even if the rest of me’s working on autopilot. I also think he’d be the sort to assume that not anticipating a threat to his loved ones counts as a failure, so he’s always on guard/trying to stop things before they start/jumping at shadows, effectually. For me this manifested as a contamination fear but I don’t think that would track here I think he’d be more along the lines of trying to predict his loved one’s actions and putting out imaginary/preemptive fires accordingly

- this would also work well with his fear of manipulation I think. Like he’s so worried about his actions being controlling that he tries to prod at THEIR actions to ‘protect’ them from him which ends up as a sort of bizarre self fulfilling prophecy

-information hoarder. He’s taken the tests, he’s read the articles, he knows what’s wrong with him (he thinks) but also doesn’t want to use it as an excuse (he thinks) and also gets thrown into spirals when his actions don’t match up exactly with the information he’s gathered. I also think it would be fun to try and puzzle out mental health bullshit through the juggalo-internet. Not fun for him, but for me thinking about it

-hal is basically an extended study in rumination. Dirk needs definitive proof of himself and his motives, and well. Hal is not that, but I can see how he might have been intended to serve that function

-reassurance seeker but like in the way where he continually asserts to other people that he’s bad. In his mind this functions as a warning so that they know to be on guard around him. He worries about this being a sort of manipulation too, of course. Nothings ever easy.

-this gets more difficult when he goes from living alone and isolated to living with other people, I think, because now there’s an added layer of ways he has to worry about hurting them.

-if you didn’t know, a super common way for ocd to manifest is (unwanted and frightening) intrusive thoughts about hurting others in one way or another. I think it’d make sense for him to develop obsessions like these once he starts sharing physical space with other people. Like meals and the like he’ll just be sitting there zoned the fuck out because he’s monitoring every single urge and thought he has so he can ‘restrain’ as necessary

-also think he’d still be Constantly Aware of Everything, Always, even when he’s no longer splitting his consciousness in the literal sense. The thought process might start with something like noticing a chair is slightly wobbly and immediately having to fix it because otherwise it might fall, and if it falls when another person sits in it it’ll be his fault because he knew it was wobbly and didn’t do anything to fix it, and then he applies that thought process elsewhere and it escalates

-the thing is is that all this escalation happens pretty quickly because it’s a very intense set of feelings that you’re sitting with 24/7 so like cut to a month later and he’s pushing cups of water to the center of counters because otherwise they might spill and someone’ll slip and it’s HIS job to make sure they don’t, he’s repeatedly checking food over to make sure nothing’s wrong with it, he’s mapping everything he’s touched in the past week to see if he’s done anything bad or wrong, etc etc. these just keep getting increasingly more disconnected and bizarre like shit gets weird and frankly it might not even register for him that what he’s doing is irregular like from the inside things can seem as reasonable as they’re not

-that said, once you take that hyperawareness and ramp it up in reference to like everything, you realize that it just… isn’t sustainable, which means that at some point he inevitably‘fails’ and that goes as well as you think it does. Like on a good day he dismisses an ambiguous dot on a piece of bread as an obsessive quirk (maybe because he’s tired from other compulsion sets or something it happens) and then two days later someone accidentally eats a bit of bread before realizing there’s mold on it and well now dirk can’t get up from bed for the next three days sorry

-I think there’s a lot of really interesting things to say in terms of control here too. It’s all a bit ironic of course, as in something out of your control making you feel in control even if just for a second, fear of imposition taking a turn into imposition with a different motive, the distance between motive and action for that matter. I am getting off track.

-also dirk strikes me as the sort to have a comprehensive list (either written or mental) of every bad and ‘bad’ thing he’s done, ever. Regularly combs through his memories to see if he can think of others, and considers them obsessively both within and outside of context

-also just. That one convo he has where he’s talking about drowning in himself. I love that one

-physically, think he might scratch himself during panic attacks. Lot of self harm urges (head banging, eye trauma) but those don’t bother him nearly as much as his fears of hurting others. He’s unsocialized as fuck, and I think that as such he might not necessarily realize that he processes distress and anxiety in harmful/irregular ways

-I also wouldn’t be surprised if there was like this super noticeable gap between how he perceives himself and how other people perceive him too that’s pretty common. I don’t think he would have a fear of people finding out that he’s ‘bad’ by his standards though for the sole purpose that he assumes they already know

-Anyways from there it’s just like a various grab bag of related bullshit/uncategorized neuroses and obsession/compulsion sets. I think he has trich and maybe dermatillomania too. Autistic, definitely. Probably some other stuff. Comorbidity king. Sometimes he has to finish a compulsion set to sit down but he just finished a different one and is too tired to start again so he just stands on his phone for an hour. Has weird stress dreams. Bites his nails.

-all in all, ocd tends to latch on the things you care about- hence why so many intrusive thoughts are so ego dystonic, hence the fixation. Dirk, in canon and in this spiel here, loves the people he loves very much and just does not want to see them hurt and- unfortunately- sees himself as a threat thus. Well all of this.

-this concludes OCD dirk hour. If you have anything to add, please feel free! But also please be respectful about it, especially considering the subject matter.

EDIT: wrote a sequel to this, found here. It's not as put together as this one, but it's definitely a thing that exists