#being able to do something but it is HARD because my mom won’t believe that I’m neurodivergent

[thebeautifulfantastic]

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[rotthepoet]

Need theo and lorenzo head cannons 😔

Good morning sweet pookie, i gotchu!! I needed a little break after that threesome so I did some random, some silly, some fluffy, and some smutty, kay? It’s really just a big brain dump on how I characterize the boys <3 Hope you enjoy, love ;)

P.s. if I have any reoccurring anon’s, if you want me to differentiate you, please feel free to assign yourself an emoji <3 unspoken rule i thought i’d say out loud

Theodore Nott

I agree with literally everyone on this app, he is a smarty pants, but i refuse to believe he sits down and studies

It’s not that he doesn’t care about his grades, he just doesn’t have to try to get good marks. Queen absorbs information like a sponge and retains that shit forever. Doesnt have to waste time with a boring textbook because he commits everything to memory.

That being said, he will remember everything about you. Your favorite movie you mentioned in passing, he saw you eat something particular multiple times he can infer its your favorite and will buy it for you often, he knows your habits, your aspirations, your desires. All of it. Does it for his close friends and lovers <3

Huge smoker. Like. Oral fixation final boss. Needs to have something to smoke or at least chew on at all times

I mentioned before how I think Mattheo and him laugh at people who vape, but Theodore Nott is a two faced LIAR and actually keeps a menthol alto with him at all times. For convenience sake. If you ask him, it’s different because its not a fun lil fruity flavor.

Speaking of Mattheo, those two are best friends. Like ride or die. Like. These two are bread and butter, inseparable and delicious.

Will internalize everything. This is why he gets so worked up and fights people. It may seem like him getting pissy over nothing, but this boy has some unresolved trauma and unmedicated issues.

Theo has ADHD prove me wrong and fuck you for trying(jk love you, but i will die on this hill.) severe anxiety issues, def some depression going on, hes working through some shit.

Theo can process a lot of stimulus at the same time. Watching him hold 3 steady conversations while reading a novel at the same time is a sight to behold.

Smokes weed a lot too. Mostly bud, but he’s smart and keeps a cart on him too for quick bathroom breaks when he needs to chill tf out. It slows down all the thoughts racing around his head. Lets him relax. Lets him feel peace. Let him feel comfortable. He’s been searching for that feeling his whole life.

Mommy and daddy issues check?

Anyways!

Theo is a player, and its not even because he tries to be.

Girls flock towards him, and he needs an outlet.

Sex is a good outlet.

Sex and drugs? Now we’re cooking

He doesn’t care much for the dating scene, didn’t think he was cut out for it. Bad home life. No mom. Depressed and emotionally distant evil dad. Friends and his family are all death eaters? Causes some bad views on relationships as a whole.

Omg but when he falls in love it takes forever but its so hard. Its so devastatingly hard.

It goes from “wow they really make me happy” to “omfg i need to marry them they make me feel complete and comfortable and it feels like i can finally be myself around someone this is the feeling i have been searching for my whole life” really fast when he falls

He’d never love at first sight. Refuse it. He might think someone is pretty or handsome, but he won’t ever describe it as love at first sight.

100% friends to lovers

He’s a quality time kinda guy i think

Just likes co-existing really

Stay in the room with him in silence as he reads and hes so golden

But that will bump up several notches and enjoy every other love language too

He wants to make you love him. He’ll do anything for you. Buy anything for you. Tell you everyday how wonderful you are

He’s being so genuine too

His friends would know

He never shuts up about you

If you had never spoken to his friends, never met them, they’d be able to come up to you in a grocery store and say “oh. You’re <you>, right?”

And dear god he genuinely cries a little in relief when you finally say yes

He’s buried his face in your hair and hugging you so tightly and he tries not to cry because he finally has everything he needs in his arms

He’s such a good boyfriend

Will never question you(at least not at first or without good reason)

Literally worships the ground you walk on

Will apologize first immediately after every meaningless petty fight

Thats different about real fighting though. Stubborn ass bitch

Anyways

Dotes on you everyday

Calls you so many sweet names in Italian

Has an Italian accent but sometimes tries a British accent to throw everyone off.

Argues in italian

Lowkey hates snow

Runs super cold so loves lovvesss hot weather

Will take you to Italy over the summer

Demands you go

Fucks you on the balcony of his family home

Fucks you stupid on the beach

Sorry where was I going with this

Ah yes anyways

Runs super cold so like is a big fan of cuddles. Lots of sweaters for you to steal

He likes turning cuddles into more slow and intimate things

Slowly fingering you as you spoon

Cockwarming in the morning or late at night<3

So much worship.

So much

Just adores you.

Loves fast rough sex but honestly could go on about slow love making for hours

Literally cant stand American reality tv

The biggest kardashian hater

Knows all the gossip because he’s quiet and listens

Doesnt care to share it though

Lorenzo Berkshire

Bitchboy extraordinaire

If I met Lorenzo Berkshire he would become #1 on my shitlist so fast

I called theo a two faced liar as a joke

But Enzo actually is one

Literally puts on the nicest mask for pretty girls, but every ex, and every guy in hogwarts knows he’s a conniving bitch behind closed doors

One of the richest in the group and it shows

Flaunts his money everywhere he goes

His ears are pieced

Also he likes having his ears bitten it can make him hard as a rock in seconds

Dates, but it usually only lasts a month and Hes the worst boyfriend ever

Dumps them whenever he gets bored

But omg when a person gives him his attitude back

Well first he gets even meaner

But also he likes you so much like… that was hot

And if you ignore his existence? On you like a moth to a flame

Craves attention

Such an attention seeker

Still will fight, isn’t very good, but will try

100% a prefect

Showers his pookie with so much love and attention

When he finally gets the person he wants, hes on top of them 24/7

Never a hand straying to far

Literally obsessed

Big fan of exhibitionism

Will fuck uou on the train, the bathrooms, the common room, the classroom

Its all fair game

Would love to see you all tied up in pretty ribbons for his birthday

Ass man 100%

Likes to just get a fistfull while you hug or cuddle

Mattheo and him are the biggest gossipers

Has like 4k followers on instagram because hes so pretty

Father and mother are hirh death eaters. Does anyone know Berkshire lore because i def dont

Like fr can someone explain him to me

Pairs well with anyone in the grouo, really

Gets along especially with Theo or Mattheo

Amazing at card games, and says he’s amazing at chess too. Hes not.

Literally refuses to snack, says it’ll ruin his physique

On the quidditch team much like everyone else he’s friends with

Slays at herbology

Maybe a bit of a smoker? Not often, and def more weed than tobacco

Light weight for reals

Like severely light weight

He’s the laughingstock of the friend group for it

Him and Mattheo have a running bet on who can fuck the most women

Omg omg omg because they so do the alphabet challenge im so sorry but its factual

Lorenzo is currently winning with 15/26 letters in the alphabet but Mattheo isnt too far behind

Its because Lorenzo is so charming and Mattheo…. Is himself.

Anyways back to being his significant other

Will spoil you

Relentlessly

Lowkey expects head in return but that will wear ofd eventually

109% more likely to start a fwb situation than anything else

Treats you like a girlfriend this whole time

Kisses you sweetly, holds uou close when you sleep, mumbles about how special you are

Just being a girlfriend without the title because then it gets too weird

Loses his shit if you get tired of trying and break it off

Genuinely ballistic if he loses you

Will pull as many favors and as many strings as he can to get yiu back

Seriously considers murder for a while

Anyways he gets you back baby<3

Speaking of babies hes super good with kids

Look at that face

Amazing dad face

Scared of marriage lmao

Bad parents. Fucked up views on relationships

Its a thing for all of them tbh

[haruka-norikoyo]

Biggest Fan

Monoma Neito x reader | Soulmate AU

The gasp I’ve gusped (yes past tense to the fourth dimension) when I thought of this scenario. Mild spoilers for the end of the manga.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The fourth birthday is a momentous occasion in one’s life. Not only is it the year where most develops their quirk, it is when one is assigned a soulmate.

No one knows whether it is a quirk or something entirely foreign. Many believe there is divine power at play. Because, after all, how can one have such power? It is a phenomenon which extends throughout the entire world. On a person’s right wrist appears the first words that their soulmate says to them. When those words have been uttered, they simultaneously disappear, and they now know their soulmate.

Monoma Neito got his quirk before his words. It’s not unusual, just rather rare to be an early bloomer. Normally, developing a quirk early would invite excitement and respect. “You can’t be a hero with a quirk like that.”

He’d copied another kid’s quirk, excitedly showing it off to his friends. But quirks are unique to oneself, aren’t they? Something to take pride in because only you can do it. So for someone else to be able to do it too?

“That’s something a side character would have.”

He stopped showing it off to other kids after that. Though, before he knew it, it was his birthday. Neito never understood what’s so exciting about getting random words on his wrist and someone he’ll be stuck with for the rest of his life. He’s a kid, after all. Getting his quirk was much more interesting to him. But after the response he got, he doesn’t get his hopes up.

All his relatives were eagerly checking his wrist for the soulmate words. It honestly was a little suffocating to be crowded the whole day with “do you have it yet?”. He can’t wait for it to be over.

Then, a gasp. He turns to see his mom pointing at his wrist. “Neito, your words!”

“Oh,” he glances down. Now that it’s here, he can't help but be a little curious. “Excuse me, Phantom Thief? I’m your biggest fan!”

His eyes widen, but before he could properly think about what it entails, he’s surrounded by everyone at the party. All of them eager to see what his match would tell him in their first meeting.

***

The next time he saw the kids who said he’ll be nothing but a side character, he rubs it in their faces.

“Look at this! My soulmate calls me Phantom Thief in our first meeting. That means I’ll be a pro hero— and what’s that? I already have a fan.”

“That— that doesn’t mean anything!”

“Yeah! It’s probably your name for a comedy show or something!”

But their words don’t reach him. He has a fan. Sure, it’s his soulmate, them being his biggest fan is a given, but still. Someone out there will be watching him. “Hahaha! Envy me all you want— my soulmate loves me way before we ever meet!”

***

“You’re still banking on your soulmate’s words?” Is something he heard numerous times, especially when he made it known he signed up for UA high school. Standing amongst other examinees, he wonders if his soulmate is there too. Maybe they’re already watching him. He shakes his head. No, they call me by my hero name. I won’t meet them until I become a pro hero…

He looks up at the big gates of the practical examination, his lips forming a smile as he discreetly copies the quirk of the examinee beside him. Looks like I’ll have to work hard to meet them.

***

The sports festival was his chance to get his soulmate’s attention. Yet, all everyone could talk about is the class that got attacked by villains. He hatched a plan to take them down and help his classmates.

“I believe it would be beneficial if we don’t show everyone our quirks in the first round. Looking at the past sports festivals, it’s likely to backfire on us, so it’s better to keep a low profile and then show off our skills in the more important rounds. Of course, none of you have to follow up on this. I won’t blame you for wanting to stand out. This is the sports festival, after all.”

He figured Shiozaki and Testutetsu would want to go all out. Sure enough, they did.

“I wouldn’t mind going through with it,” Kendo says. “But what about you?”

Neito raises his brow. “Naturally I’ll follow through with it..? What’s with that?”

Kendo gestures to her own wrist, which already doesn’t have her words. “Nothing, I just thought that your biggest fan would want to see you go all out.”

Maybe without the words on his wrist, he would’ve followed through with his plan. As he crosses the finish line in 7th place, he looks at the crowd. They aren’t cheering as loudly as for the top three, but with the hundreds of people presently cheering, the stadium is still deafening. Did you see me? Neito gazes down at his wrist, wondering that if they did, is soulmate is as in love with him as he already is?

***

He got a few internship requests despite not making it to the third round. Currently, his classmates are busy picking their hero names while he sits back, already having decided his.

Awase groans from the front of the class. “Argh! Monoma’s lucky, his soulmate says his hero name already so he doesn’t have to think about it..!”

Neito shrugs. “I’m sure you can think of something…”

Awase groans in response.

***

What an eventful first year…

Shit happened. He fought in a war with other kids his age. Crazy. Well, at least it’ll go down in the history books.

He stands in front of the statue displayed for his efforts in the war. His face and his hero name is engraved on the marble surface. He was a key player. The start point for Deku and Dynamight in the war. It was made known to everyone.

“Most people know my name and what I did, but don’t necessarily recognize me like those two…” Neito sighs, rubbing the back of his head as he recalls the screaming first students swarming to Bakugo and Todoroki this morning. “Guess I’ll have to work harder still.”

He falls silent.

Neito turns his heel, walking down the walk way of other statues mounted after the war. “Woah, he really does have a statue..!” He looks over his shoulder, spotting a student running in from the entrance. Right, they’re permitted to go off campus during lunch hours again. Neito watched in amusement as the student marvels at the statue. Their face glows with excitement as they pulled out their phone, discreetly attempting to take a selfie. Though, they obviously felt too embarrassed to do so on their own, ending up with blurry pictures.

Hm, he has time…

He approaches. The student nearly drops their phone straightening themself out to look inconspicuous. “Need help taking a photo?” he asks with a smile.

A hint of recognition passes through the student’s face. They turn to him in bewilderment, yet, at the sight of him they seem to forget that train of thought. Their eyes widen, and they cup their hands over their mouth. Neito chuckles while they stare at him in silent excitement, looking down. Damn, now that he’s faced with a fan he doesn’t know what to do.

“Excuse me… Phantom Thief?”

“Hm?” he brings his gaze back up. The student move their hands away from their mouth, revealing the brightest smile he’d ever seen directed at him, or anyone for that matter.

“I’m your biggest fan!”

“My…” his eyes widen. He looks down at his wrist. It’s gone. His words are gone. “You’re my…”

They blink at him, tilting their head. Albeit their confusion, they still watch and listen carefully for what he’ll say next. Did they not notice? Were they so enthralled by meeting him that they forgot their own words? The idea makes his heart swell. Before he could even register his own actions, he reaches out for them, hands on their shoulders.

“S… Say that again!”

“Eh?!” they can’t help but step back, face warming up at their proximity. “Um… I’m your biggest fan?”

Someone watching from a distance wouldn’t be able to tell who the fan in the situation is. Although, one could probably say it’s both. “Your words… do you know how much your first words helped me over the years?” he breathes out, heart thumping so loudly. This adrenaline is a relief that is incomparable to anything else. “Huh? Over the years? U-Um…” Oh dear, it looks like the student might short circuit. “Ah, sorry… I got carried away.“ Neito steps back, releasing their shoulders. “But, you really don’t notice?”

They stare at him. After a few seconds, it finally dawned on them… the realization they made earlier. “You… said my words…” They look down at their wrist and gasp. “They’re gone!”

“Yeah,” Neito nods.

They point at him, eyes wide. “You’re my soulmate!” “That’s right.”

“Holy shit.” Neito laughs as they cover their mouth once more. “My soulmate… my soulmate is Phantom Theif? For real?! I’m not dreaming?”

“Does it feel like a dream?” he asks teasingly with a raised brow.

They nod vigorously. “C-Could I… get a picture with you?”

He grins, watching them fiddle with their thumbs nervously. “Of course. Mind if I take it for us?” “Oh sure, here,” they hand over their phone.

Neito extends his arm out, holding the phone still until the camera focuses on both of them. Of course, his statue is there in the background. After all, that’s what they originally wanted to photograph.

“What’s your name, by the way?” Neito asks, pulling away. He still has the phone, though.

“(L/n) (y/n).”

“Ah, good, now I know what to write in your contact. I can put my number in, can’t I?”

“Y-Your number…” (y/n) awes. It’s only natural to keep in touch with their soulmate, but having someone the Phantom Thief whom they love so much in their contacts is something they never thought would happen. “I’d love that!”

Neito types in his number into (y/n)’s phone, and hands it back to them. “Alright. Done. Send me a text any time you wanna meet up. And if you need help as my underclassman, feel free to come to me, okay?”

(y/n) nods. “Okay.”

“Then… I’ll see you next time.”

“Um! One last thing!” (Y/n) purses their lip, debating whether on saying it or not. “May… may I get your autograph?”

“An autograph?” Neito raises his brow with a grin, watching as they scramble to find something from their bag. “Even though I’m your soulmate?”

“It’s a big bonus that you’re my soulmate but— I’ve been a fan of you since seeing the sports festival replays!” Determination burns in their eyes as they extend a board and sharpie to him. “See? I even have a special place for you to put your autograph. Please?”

“Oh, how could I refuse a request from my biggest fan?” he snickers in attempt to distract from the blush dusting his cheeks. He takes the board and sharpie, fingers brushing against each other’s.

“(Y/n), thank you for supporting me even before you realized it. Sincerely, your soulmate, Phantom Thief.”

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

So, you have been in a relationship for a while and you’re ready and eager to take the next step - but your partner isn’t. What now? 

The “next step” I’m referring to here could mean a lot of different things because relationships do not all follow one specific timeline (and also because my readers may be of wildly different ages and live in wildly different situations) but I am thinking of any “deepening our commitment” things here: for example introducing them to your friends or your family, moving in together or (if you are in a situation where that’s a legal possibility) even marriage or having a child together. 

Whatever the step actually looks like, you may have this romantic idea of “If they’re right for you, you’ll always naturally want to take these steps at the same time”… but that’s not really how relationships work in real life. Even in the healthiest relationship and even if you absolutely feel like they’re your soulmate, you may still disagree on when to take those steps or even on whether you want to take these steps at all. 

In fact, it’s uniquely frustrating if everything else is going well. If their refusal to meet your mom is just another point on the long list of behaviors that make you feel like they don’t really care about you, that’s also painful but it’s easier to give advice there: maybe you should think about breaking up. It’s tempting to believe that you can make them love you more if you move in with them or that they’ll treat you better once you get engaged, but that won’t work out. You can’t fix a broken relationship by deepening the commitment - commitment needs a stable foundation to grow. And this doesn’t only go for outright abusive relationships: they may be a wonderful person but you two just have entirely different goals and needs, and those won’t suddenly overlap more just because you moved in with them or married them. 

With all that being said: if there IS a healthy and stable foundation, if you are happy in every other aspect and they’re just hesitant about this one specific step, then jumping straight to “break up with them” would obviously be pretty unhelpful advice. Differing opinions occur even in the most compatible couple, you are both whole people with your own individual feelings and those do not necessarily doom the whole relationship. It’s important to see this situation in the context of the relationship in general. 

You may be able to guess that a big portion of the advice is just gonna be “Communicate with your partner” - but first of all, I’d advise you to have an open and honest conversation with yourself. Why is this step of commitment so important to you? What does it mean to you? Do you feel a sense of urgency in taking it and if so, why? Is this specific step the only possible path for your need to be met? Are you open to alternative approaches, are you open to waiting (and if so, for how long)? The purpose of these questions is definitely not to convince yourself to give up on your needs or to talk yourself into a compromise you’re not really happy with! The opposite of that, actually: It’s helpful to reflect on what exactly you want and why you want it, so you have the clarity you need to discuss it productively. You don’t want to agree to something that ultimately leaves you unsatisfied and bitter, but you also don’t want to push hard for something you later on realize doesn’t even mean that much to you. 

When you feel confident enough about your own stance to discuss it with your partner, the most important thing to remember is: you’re on the same team. The goal here isn’t to “win” or to change their mind, but to see each others perspective better and find a solution you’re both happy with. Listen with an open mind. Try to understand before you try to influence. Remind yourself that your partner isn’t your enemy, they also want the best outcome for both of you - otherwise you (hopefully) wouldn’t want to commit to them! 

Something you should get clarification on during your conversations: is it a hard no (do not want to do that at all ever), a soft no (open to alternatives or adjustments), a no for now (want to do it but not yet), a yes but (want to do it but only under certain circumstances or in a different way than your original plan) or a I don’t know? How does this affect your feelings on the situation? (I’m sure that even just while reading these different scenarios, some instinctively feel better or worse than others! But it’s still important to take some time to sit with any new information that comes up during those conversations. Neither of you should feel pressured or rushed here!) 

You may find that they just never considered that there may be multiple approaches to that step (an example for this would be that they are not actually opposed to the idea of being married to you, just to the idea of a wedding, and didn’t consider yet that eloping is also a possibility) - but don’t set yourself up for disappointment by expecting the conversation to 100% go that way. It may also be a hard no, and that wouldn’t make them a horrible person. People can deeply, truly love someone and still do not want to take certain steps with them. It’s a good idea to remind yourself that you’re not “in the right” or “the better person” for wanting to take those steps. While certain steps may be a big part of your own future plans or even of your identity and self-image (and that’s valid!), they are just personal preferences. It’s not a moral obligation to want them, and your partner isn’t mean for not wanting them. But, of course, at this point we also need to say: if you can not imagine a life where you never get married, you are not a horrible person for breaking up with a partner who can not imagine to ever marry. “Irreconcilable differences” are a common breakup reason for a reason. 

So, to summarize: Building a strong foundation is crucial before taking big steps. Communicate openly with yourself first - understand why you want to take this step and if there are alternatives. When talking to your partner, remember you're a team; it's not about winning but understanding each other. Be open to different responses, from a clear no to conditions on a yes. Do not pressure your partner but do not completely give up on your own happiness either. 

The journey of commitment should be a shared adventure - not a battle or a competitive race! 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 55

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 7k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Wednesday, February 17; 9:15 AM - Ski Resort

I still find it hard to believe what we're about to do today. The days are passing, and we're already halfway through our trip. Me, a sun-loving girl who's only ever been to beaches, is now discovering a ski resort for the first time. Ever since I heard the news, I've had a lump in my throat. I just can't wrap my head around it.

“Do you think I’ll be able to do it?” Mapi asks me, standing by my side.

I take a deep breath. Thankfully, in the worst scenarios, my best friend is always there to face things with me.

"It’s up to you to feel it. Are you still in a lot of pain?” I ask, referring to her leg.

“It depends on the day... I hope it’ll be okay.”

“Have you talked to Ingrid about it?”

“Yeah, we had a chance to talk. She knows I don’t like to bring it up, but she knows what happened.”

“Then you don’t need to worry. I’m sure she’ll be careful.”

“You think so?”

“Of course,” I say with a smile. “From what I’ve seen these past few days, she seems attentive to you. I have no doubt she’ll know when to stop you if you push too hard.”

“Blah, blah, blah.”

We laugh, fully aware that this is exactly what will happen. Mapi loves challenges, and once she’s conquered them, she tends to not want to stop. I understand her fear, though. Skiing puts a lot of strain on your legs. She’ll likely feel pain at some point, even with the effective treatment she’s been on for years. Skiing... Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps. I’m not at all comfortable with this idea, especially after our last two nights. The waitress Aitana flirted with invited us to some private parties. The first one was quite wild for some, and we got back late. We didn’t want to do much the next day. Most of us stayed at the hotel to relax, while the two other couples and I preferred to head back into town. We went out again last night, but it was much more low-key. The girls didn’t want to waste another day doing nothing. They had used their day at the hotel to look into things to do. The ski resort was their top recommendation. When they suggested it to us, I was the only one not very enthusiastic. I tend to enjoy walking in the snow in different ways, but I realize that’s not everyone’s preference. The girls were starting to lose patience and really wanted to do something more dynamic. This activity was definitely a lot more energetic than the previous ones. The weather was on our side, with the snow having stopped today, so it was the perfect time to plan sledding and skiing. The last time I was in a place like this, I must have been six years old. My mom wasn’t a fan of mountain vacations, being someone who had always lived in the sun. We went once thanks to my dad, who granted my wish. Those were the most memorable holidays for me because it was the first time I ever went sledding. However, I never skied, and the same goes for Mapi, who, unlike me, is seeing snow for the first time after her first visit to Manchester. We were supposed to go sledding this morning, but because of our little handicap, our girlfriends, who are currently ahead of us, decided to change the plan for the four of us. Since Mapi hadn’t changed her behavior, I thought it was a good opportunity for just the two of us. I needed to talk to her. I could sense something was bothering her, and I didn’t like it. I tried sending Alexia in my place, but she couldn’t get much out of her. Either Mapi didn’t understand her intention, or I was really imagining things, which I doubt.

“So, can I ask you a question?” she starts again. “But you won’t take it the wrong way, right?”

“Why would I take it the wrong way?”

“It’s about Lucy.”

The mention catches me off guard. Is she trying to talk about it? The timing couldn’t be better. At least we can clear the air before today’s activities because we both know there’s some tension.

“I’m listening.”

“Promise me you won’t take it the wrong way?” she insists.

“Mapi, we’ve always told each other everything up until now. Why would you be afraid of my reaction?”

She sighs, letting her shoulders relax. Her behavior towards me over the past two days remains a mystery. The way she kept pulling me away from Lucy left me puzzled and annoyed. I started wondering if she had a problem with her, and now I’m starting to believe it more and more. I hope it’s nothing serious. I don’t particularly want them to stop talking, or worse, have to choose between the two.

“So why didn’t you come talk to me yourself? You sent Alexia, didn’t you? I’m not that clueless.”

I bite my lip, caught off guard. Alexia had warned me that it would be better if I went myself, but I didn’t listen. Now, I’m already regretting that bad decision.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, you’re right.”

“So, you really sent her?”

“I could tell you were on edge. I was afraid it would get worse if I came first.”

We look at each other for a moment, then laugh together. We both feel a bit silly, I think. There’s good reason for it. We’ve never been afraid to tell each other things. That’s what I’ve always loved about Mapi. Even if we knew it wouldn’t please the other, we’ve always been honest.

“Sorry, I was really nervous about bringing it up.”

“You didn’t need to be,” I sigh. “So... it’s about Lucy, right?”

“Yeah, um...” she starts, suddenly feeling awkward. “I don’t really know how to say this. First, does she still hold a grudge against me?”

“What?” I frown. “No! Why would she have something against you?”

I look at my girlfriend who’s ahead of us with Ingrid. We’ve slowed down our walk since we started talking, creating a bigger gap than before. They’re both in an animated conversation, laughing from time to time. I think about all the ways Lucy could have made her think that, but nothing comes to mind. She did give her a bit of a hard look the day she pulled me away from her during the walk, but that passed quickly when she found it amusing that I was angrier than she was. Anyway, since we’ve been together, it’s different. She no longer sees Mapi as a threat, but simply as someone very important to me.

“Well, I don’t know... I felt like she was giving me dirty looks last time. Sorry, I might be imagining things.”

“Lucy has no problem with you, I assure you. She really likes you and knows what you mean to me. If it were otherwise, she would have told me, and I would have fixed things.”

“Okay...” she murmurs. “You love her, don’t you? I’ve never seen you so attached to someone like her.”

I breathe softly. Oh yes, I love her, and I spend all my time glued to her. I was never that person before, but she made me this way. In none of my previous relationships did I seek physical contact as I do now.

“Does it bother you?”

She looks at me for a moment. I can see the internal struggle she’s having. She doesn’t know how to respond, and it’s all the more unsettling. I give her a friendly nudge.

“Come on, spill it. We’re talking about it for a reason, after all.”

“I was very surprised,” she begins. “I think your Valentine’s Day made me jealous. Not romantically. Ingrid is wonderful to me, and I appreciate her more and more each day,” she quickly justifies. “But in terms of us, our relationship, our friendship...”

Now that she says it, it’s true that after I shared everything we did, her behavior changed. I frown at this realization. Without saying anything, she continues.

“I never knew how to give you the same things she does. Just look at the day you spent together. It’s obvious she thought of you first in her plans. I’ve never been able to do that for you. Not even for a day.”

“Mapi—”

“I know our relationship is different from yours. It was powerful in another way, and it was during another period. We were younger and a bit more carefree. But what she’s done with you in just a few months is just... impressive. She’s transformed you, and I feel lousy for not being able to give you the same support and help you grow like she has.”

Regret, remorse. That’s all I hear in her words, and now it’s my turn to feel bad. How did she get to the point of feeling so worthless? She doesn’t even realize how much she’s helped me. Her return after Feli sparked a lot of progress that she doesn’t seem to have noticed. I release my lip from between my teeth and reply without thinking.

“You have nothing to blame yourself for. You’re the one who gave me the most support before I joined this school. You did the hardest part by getting me out of my room.”

I smile just remembering it. She had to drag me, but she did it, and she stayed with me the whole time. It was her, and no one else, who accomplished that feat.

"I have to admit, being away from my problems was the best idea my mom ever had. You’ve never set foot in my school, but we all have our problems, often similar, sometimes completely different."

Korbin's situation comes to mind. She just never had the chance to grow up in a stable environment, which led to her circumstances. Just thinking about it makes me sick.

"I'm not saying you can't understand, but they teach us to open up, to trust each other. Like with Alexia, you know? We’ve confided in each other about our issues. Plus, we're also guided. Especially by Lucy, in my case, but not just her. It’s a collective thing, you see? It's not just Lucy who helped me evolve, as you said."

"And in all this, what happens to me?"

"What do you mean, what happens to you?" I teased. "You’re still my best friend, no matter what. Nothing will change that. Neither new friendships nor our new relationships. We’re still us."

"Good, I’m relieved," she said, clearly feeling better. "Because I’ve applied for a transfer for next year."

"Really?" I said, excited.

She had mentioned wanting to follow me, but hadn’t said what she was planning. Knowing she’ll be here next year makes me really happy. Even though the school keeps me busy, I miss her a lot.

"Of course! You’re not getting rid of me that easily," she giggled. "My teacher said there shouldn’t be any problem. The school in Manchester has a better reputation, but with my good grades, I should get accepted. He even said it would be better for me."

"That’s awesome!"

I hugged her tightly. She doesn’t have an official response yet, but I’m confident it will work out. Mapi is a very diligent student, even if it doesn’t always seem that way. After all, she’s doing what she loves.

"I’m really happy, honestly."

"Can I confess something else while we’re at it?" she asked, pulling away from my embrace. "But you won’t take it the wrong way, right?"

"What now?" I asked, holding back a small laugh.

"I used to wonder if Lucy would be enough for you," she admitted, making me frown. "That was before you were together. I thought she was too calm and too sensible. Not to mention she didn’t seem to enjoy parties. You just have to see how she reacted to last night’s party agai—"

"She wasn’t feeling well yesterday," I defended her immediately. "She had a migraine, and the party wasn’t the best for her, but she still wanted to come."

"Whatever," she said, waving her hand as if it didn’t matter. "That’s not the point, it was just an example. I thought she’d be boring for you in the long run. I talked about it with Ingrid before you were together, and she got mad, saying I didn’t know Lucy. And I have to admit, she was right."

Her last sentence brought me instant relief. I was already worried she might say she no longer saw me with Lucy, which would have been strange since she’s the one who kind of pushed us together.

"So, you’ve changed your mind?" I asked hesitantly, making her shrug.

"I have to admit she knows how to handle you," she replied with a small smile that made me laugh. "That’s all that matters, and if you’re happy with her, that’s what’s important."

"I am. She’s really sweet and adorable. I didn’t expect that either."

"Oh, really?" she said, surprised.

"Well, yeah… She’s always been caring towards me, but I found her so closed off before that I didn’t know what to expect if she ever opened up."

"I see… So how is it?"

"It’s really great. She’s confided in me little by little, but now, she’s so open that I can see her expressions, you know? That wasn’t the case before."

"Hmm, hmm," she smiled. "Are you sure it’s not you who finally opened your eyes to how she feels?"

"Of course not," I replied, gently hitting her arm, making her laugh.

"I’m telling you, Ona. She was already smitten the first time I saw her interact with you. I even told Lucy. You were just too oblivious to notice."

I blushed just thinking about it. We really were blind, according to our friends.

"Maybe you’re right… We’re together now," I said pensively. "You know, I wanted to use this vacation to get closer to her. I was really scared of my reactions when starting a new relationship," I confessed to her.

"You haven’t slept together yet, have you?"

"No," I grimaced. "Do you think Lucy will be patient with that? I’m worried."

"Yeah, don’t worry. Knowing her, she has the patience of a saint. If she needs it, I bet she’ll let you know."

"If you say so… Anyway, don’t scare me like that again. I really need your positive opinion, and you know that, right?"

"I know, yeah," she smiled. "And you have it. She even managed to make me jealous, and that’s saying something."

I chuckled, shaking my head. At least she’s not afraid to admit it. Others would have denied it. Not her, and I love that about her.

"And you, with Ingrid?" I changed the subject.

"She’s great, really," she answered instantly, clearly expecting the question. "Much better than Ana. She’s cool, we laugh a lot, and she’s laid back. Oh, and also, in bed, she’s pretty good."

"Oh, Maps, please, spare me the details."

"What? You don’t want to know?"

"No, thanks," I grimaced.

"Are you sure?"

She laughed, fully aware that this is one of the few topics we can’t discuss. I’m not prudish, but I’d rather not know what my ex does with her new girlfriends. Talking about it makes me feel like we’re back in the past, and I’d rather avoid that. After this little laugh, we both sighed softly. We really needed this conversation to clear the air.

"Looks like our wild nights are over now."

"Seems like it, yeah," I chuckled.

"I think I’m a bit scared of this new change, you know, becoming an adult, having responsibilities. Ingrid even says I often act like a child," she laughed, making me smile.

I put my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to me. She rested her head on my shoulder, accepting my embrace.

"We’ll do it together, don’t worry. Never one without the other."

She nodded and kissed my cheek afterward, making me smile. All she needed was reassurance. I regret letting things get to the point where she felt neglected and unheard. I’ll have to figure out how to balance things better in the future. I’ve already hurt her enough in the past, I don’t need to add anything else.

"I guess I owe Lucy an apology now."

"Oh, it’s not necessary."

"It is. Knowing you, you’ll tell her everything, so I might as well do it myself," she replied.

I laughed because she’s so right. I can’t hide anything from Lucy. Especially since she’s been glancing over at us, and I imagine she’ll have questions for me.

"And I’ll have to thank her too," Mapi said, drawing my attention back to her.

"For what?"

"Thanks to you two, I met Ingrid," she answered with a small smile. "We exchanged numbers to talk about you mainly, but we hit it off so well that we got closer. So, thank you too."

"It’s my pleasure if we helped you. Your happiness is important to me, you know that. Now that everything’s clear, how about a hug?"

"Damn right, I’ve been waiting for that."

I laughed as I barely had time to catch her in my arms for a tight embrace. I missed her touch. Mapi will always be the first person who helped me out of that dark place. She’s indispensable to me, and she should know that. I closed my eyes, savoring this moment that I had missed. It’s different from being with Lucy, but just as familiar.

"Come on, we should catch up with them before they start wondering where we are."

Now that she mentioned it, I realized we couldn’t see our girlfriends anymore. Instead, a small wooden cabin stood before us. I easily guessed it was the chalet where we were supposed to pick up our gear, thanks to the sign. I nodded and let her go in first. Our girlfriends were in line, so we joined them.

- "Well, what took you so long, girls?" Ingrid asked as we approached.

- "Sorry, we were just talking," Mapi explained as she pulled away from me to enjoy a hug from her girlfriend.

I nestled into Lucy's embrace, just as Mapi did with Ingrid. Lucy's expression was full of curiosity after I stole a kiss. I snuggled into her neck and whispered:

- "I'll explain later."

My answer seemed to satisfy her because she hugged me tightly and kissed my temple. I smiled as I watched the other couple interact. It was clear who was in charge between them, and it was a bit surprising. Normally, Mapi was the one who took control, but not in Ingrid's arms, it seemed. Given Ingrid's playful nature, I hadn’t expected her to take on that role.

- "When will you tell me?"

I turned my attention back to Lucy. It was only then that I noticed her impatience, which made me smile.

- "Be patient. You'll know everything tonight, I promise."

- "Hmm... Okay," she said, pouting adorably, which made me smile.

It was funny how eager she was to know. Since I’d become better at reading her expressions, I’d discovered many traits I hadn’t known about before. Curiosity was one of them. I admired her so much for being able to hide it and not bombard me with questions. That's probably what I would have done in her place, but she knew that would have made me run. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. With these thoughts in mind, I stood on my tiptoes to kiss her again, hoping it would satisfy her for now. I could tell she was frustrated about not knowing our conversation, but I didn’t want to discuss it in front of the girls. It seemed my idea worked because she returned my kiss with a hidden smile.

- "It’s our turn," Ingrid pointed out.

We noticed she was right as we turned to the counter.

- "Can you help me pick out my equipment?" I asked Lucy. "I don’t really know what I’m doing."

- "Of course."

We walked forward with her hand resting on my waist. The receptionist handed us our gear based on Lucy’s instructions. I didn’t know anything about this, so I trusted her judgment.

- "Can’t we snowboard instead of skiing?" I asked when I saw a snowboard nearby.

- "Learn to ski first, will you?" she chuckled. "Snowboarding is much harder."

- "Really? But it’s just one board under your feet."

- "Exactly," she laughed. "It’s much harder to balance and stay on your feet. We’ll try it someday when you’ve mastered skiing."

- "So that means we’ll come back?"

- "We’ll go wherever you want, whenever you want, and as many times as you want, sweetheart."

I bit my lip at how affectionate she was becoming day by day. She had never been this sweet with me before. The tough, relentless Lucy was long gone, and I couldn’t even say which version I preferred now. I felt more and more important in her eyes, and that’s all I ever wanted.

- "Come on, let’s get going," she pulled me out of my daydream.

We thanked the man for his service, and the four of us headed outside with our equipment. We found a bench where we could sit and put on our skis. Aside from my grumbling, it was a pretty quiet moment. Lucy had a teasing smile as she watched me struggle. I had just managed to put on the boots she had chosen for me. I was surprised that she had picked the right size without even asking.

- "You could help instead of just laughing at me."

- "Of course," she said, her smile widening. "Since you asked so nicely."

- "Hey!" I protested, pouting.

- "I’m kidding."

As if she’d been doing this her whole life, she effortlessly got up and crouched down in front of me. She started by tightening the straps on my boots, which apparently weren’t tight enough for her. Then she placed the skis flat on the ground, and I finally understood the system when she positioned the tip of my foot in front of the clips. She then asked me to press down with my heel, and I heard my boot click into the ski. I did the same with the other one. At first, the sensation of having something under my feet was very strange, especially when I tried to slide them back and forth. The real fun was about to start. We exchanged a smile, as if she was thinking the same thing as I was when she stood up. She pecked my lips and held out her hands.

- "Come on, princess. It’s time to stand up."

- "Oh my God," I murmured as I wobbled the moment she pulled me to my feet.

The feeling was very weird. I probably would have slipped if Lucy hadn’t been holding me in her strong arms. She chuckled, gently pulling me closer. I regretted having such a bulky jacket on because I couldn’t feel her touch on my skin.

- "Okay... So what now?"

- "I’m going to let go and grab your poles."

- "And if I fall?"

- "You won’t fall," she laughed.

To make sure of it, she kept one arm around my waist as she moved to grab our poles. Once she had them, she let go of me and stood beside me. I glanced over at the girls who were watching us.

- "Okay," I said, taking a deep breath. "And now?"

- "Now we move forward."

I blinked as I saw Mapi following Ingrid. It was like she had been doing this forever. I parted my lips and looked at Lucy, who was laughing at me.

- "H-how did she do that?"

Lucy burst into laughter, which annoyed me. I had a feeling I’d be the last one today, and I hated that.

- "It’s not hard. It’s like walking. Just take small steps. It’ll help you get used to the skis and work on your balance. Then we’ll start sliding."

- "I’m suddenly not feeling so confident..."

- "Hey, it’ll be okay, alright? There will be falls and probably a lot of bruises tonight, but you’ll be fine. I’ll help you, and I won’t let you leave until you’ve made at least one descent."

- "Oh my God..." I muttered. "And what if I’m sore tonight?"

- "I have a little solution for that... But it’ll be up to you to decide when the time comes."

- "When you say things like that, it’s usually something I won’t like..."

- "Who knows... You’ll tell me tonight."

Wednesday, February 17th, 8:30 PM - Hotel Room.

All day, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Lucy’s suggestion would be. I turned it over in my mind a thousand times, hoping that in the end, it would be the jacuzzi we’d go to. As I had predicted, all my muscles were sore from this simultaneously disastrous and rewarding day. If I learned anything today, it’s that I’m a walking disaster. Though that’s not new, I was really bad at skiing. Once again, Lucy showed incredible patience with me. Unlike me, Mapi picked it up quickly. She’s always been more athletic and daring than me, so it wasn’t surprising. Lucy didn’t mind that we stayed at the bottom of the slope all day, while the girls and the rest of our friends who joined us after lunch went up to do runs. I think Lucy was happy we could spend some time together, uninterrupted for once. When we got back, I expected her to announce her idea right away, but she wanted us to have dinner with our friends first. It made me feel confused and reluctant, knowing that the pool had a closing time and would probably be closed by the time we were done. I was slightly disappointed since I had been dreaming about it all day, but now that I’m facing her real proposal, I don’t know how to react. I agreed, of course, but that didn’t make me any less nervous.

- "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I’d understand if you didn’t, you know. We’ve only been together for two weeks, and then-"

- "Luce, I told you I wanted to do it. Are you sure you haven’t changed your mind?" I half-joked.

The panic in her eyes disappeared for a moment, replaced by tenderness.

- "I haven’t. It’s just that I don’t want you to be scared or think I’m rushing things."

"We’re in swimsuits. What am I supposed to be scared of? We’ve already been in the pool, in a jacuzzi, and even in a spa. It’s not a bubble bath we’re going to take in swimsuits that’s going to scare me. »

- It's smaller, more intimate, and... private.

- That's what makes it even more romantic, right? I want us to spend some time together, just the two of us. For once, we actually have the time.

She giggles as she turns off the water that had been running until now when he gets halfway to the bathtub. To be honest, I'm in total panic inside. I can't even explain why. Lucy is everything you could want in a girlfriend. She didn't run away when I told her that I had isolated myself from the world for half a year. On the contrary, she wanted to prove to me that I'm no longer alone. Maybe it's because I know that this situation will bring us to an even deeper stage in our relationship. I push the thought away and speak.

- You getting in first? I murmur.

She nods softly, stepping one foot at a time into the tub. My eyes don't leave her for a second as she sits at the back of the tub. I hesitate for a moment, but her reassuring smile tells me I have nothing to fear. She's the only person I've never been afraid of, at least not in the context of a relationship. Of course, I fear her when she's in a black rage, especially at me, but never otherwise. I return her smile and join her. Instead of leaning my back against hers, I decide to snuggle up against her side. My tension quickly evaporates as my sore muscles relax and Lucy runs a hand through my hair, wrapping her other arm around me. The water is boiling hot, but there's nothing better after this cold day. She kisses my forehead with a satisfied sigh.

- Here we are, in this bath.

I giggle, burying my head in her neck. She had been dreaming about this, and now I finally understand why.

- Have you been dreaming of this moment all day too?

- You could say that... Did you know I wanted to do this?

- No, not the bath, I admit. But now that we're here, it was a very good idea.

And I mean it. The steam rising from the bath creates a strange atmosphere in the room. From where I'm sitting, I can see the mirror, which fogged up in no time. When I look down at the bath, I'm glad to see that the bubbles cover my bruised body.

- Do you know why Mapi's been acting weird lately? I start the conversation with a hint of amusement in my voice.

I break the silence now that we're alone, in the calm. Lucy hums slightly at my question.

- So there was a reason?

- In a way, yes...

I lift my head to meet her eyes with furrowed brows. I smile, finding her adorable like this. She always makes that face when something bothers her or when she doesn't understand what's going on.

- Hmm... So... What was the reason?

- Lots of things... Jealousy, worry, doubts...

- In what way? she asks, skeptical. She thinks I wouldn't take good care of you?

- No, that's not it.

I smile in amusement, detecting impatience in her movements. She knows Mapi's opinion matters to me. Just to tease her a little longer, I reluctantly get up to straddle her. She removes her hands from me, placing them on the edge of the tub while watching me with confusion. I lose track of our conversation, mesmerized by the beauty in front of me. The setting really enhances Lucy. My fingers trace her exposed neck. She had pulled her hair into a messy bun right after our meal. She wanted to be comfortable. I appreciate seeing her so natural. I might not be the first to see her like this, but at least I'm the first among the students at Camp Wiegman. So, she's no longer the terrifying instructor everyone fears. She's just my girlfriend, who grants me the privilege of seeing her true self. Our evenings alone are my favorite moments so far, even though I've also enjoyed the parties. She seems almost innocent and harmless, which is far from the case at school. I almost dread the moment we have to go back. I don't know how she'll react, nor how I'll react. We'll resume our roles, and I won't be able to enjoy her company in her room as I'll have to return to mine. 

- What are you thinking about, looking at me so sadly?

My eyes, which were focused on her mouth where my fingers are now, rise to meet hers. Her excitement has faded into concern. I feel guilty for making her worry, just because my thoughts, which were positive before getting in the bath, suddenly veered to a darker side. It was stronger than me. The idea that we might not be able to live this normally anymore doesn't sit well with me. Especially not after the amazing week we've been having.

- Did I do something wrong? she asks, making me shake my head. Did Mapi say something she shouldn't have? she continues.

I shake my head again. Words fail me, preventing me from defending against things she might believe because of my silence. Unable to find the words, I lean in to kiss her. Hard. Though slightly hesitant, she kisses me back, her hands gently caressing my waist. I seek even more contact, but she stops me.

- Hey, hey, stop. I get that this environment can give ideas, but that's not the point of this evening.

Her words cool my ardor, and I blush, realizing what I've just done. How could I have gone so far with just one fleeting thought?

- S-sorry... I-I didn't mean to. I-I don't know what came over me.

- It's okay, really, she giggles. What were you thinking about to get carried away like that, hmm? You were looking at me with adoration before suddenly closing off.

- I'm afraid of not handling our return to school well.

Lucy arches an eyebrow in confusion. It's understandable. I'm jumping from one topic to another without any reason.

- Did Mapi mess with your head? she deduces, still unsure of what's going on.

- No! I quickly reply. Mapi just needed comfort. She was jealous that she couldn't comfort me the way you do.

- Oh. I didn't see that coming... I thought I was the problem.

- No. She just felt neglected. We've drifted apart because of the distance, but it'll be okay. And...

I pause for a moment, unsure if I should continue.

- And?

- Will you promise not to hold it against her? I ask, nervously biting my lip.

- Why would I hold it against her?

- Because I'm not sure you'll appreciate what she thought of you at first...

- Go on, she mumbles, her mood shifting.

I bite my lip again. I know I'm taking a risk, but I can't afford to stay silent. I promised myself to be honest with her.

- I think she still saw us as the teens we were, because she thought you were too calm and reasonable for me.

I watch her closely as I say all this. Her reaction is strange. It's as if she's suppressing her feelings again.

- If you say that's what she thinks, then I guess that's not how you feel?

Of course not. How many times do I have to tell you? You're everything I need, Lucy. Mapi understands that now. Especially after the Valentine's Day you planned for me. She's planning to apologize to you because she knows I would tell you. If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I don't care about playing the reckless teenager anymore.

- OK... she murmurs. Thank you for being honest. I'll wait for Mapi's apology.

The tone of her voice isn't as cold as I expected. I understand that she doesn’t hold it against her. After all, she didn’t like her much at first either. If she says this, it's probably because she’ll use the opportunity to talk with her face-to-face.

- Thank you, I whispered at the thought. Thank you for everything.

- I love you.

My muscles relax at these simple words, which have become part of our daily routine. Lucy had promised to show me how much I mean to her, and for the past three days, that's all she’s done. I feel so loved, especially after struggling for so long to love myself.

- Say it again, please.

- I love you, my love.

This time, there’s a hint of amusement in her voice, but it doesn’t lessen the impact. She pulls me closer, returning us to our original position.

- Everything will be okay, alright? We'll figure things out. I’ll take care of us. But you, I want you to prioritize your future.

- You are my future, I murmured.

- I mean professionally, my love. I’ll take care of you like I promised, and I’ll handle our other relationships, like with Mapi if needed, but you have to focus on your studies first. Is that clear? Can you do that? It’s not that hard, right?

- No... It isn’t, as long as you’re by my side.

- I will be, no matter what. And how about we just enjoy our moment for once, hmm? You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.

- No, I don’t, but I understand why now. I wanted to thank you for being so patient with me. These past few days have been magical. I haven’t felt this at peace in someone’s arms in a long time.

- That’s all that matters then. That’s how I want you to feel with me. Not scared, or anxious, or lacking confidence, or uncomfortable... Just yourself.

- I am, I murmured. You’re the one who helped rebuild me. You’re probably the person I trust the most.

I take a deep breath at that thought. It’s frightening to depend so much on one person. But that’s my reality. I truly depend on Lucy. We both know that if she’s no longer in my life, I might spiral even worse than before. It happened once, and it wasn’t pretty. I could barely sleep at night or eat during meals, and it will happen again if she ever leaves me. I know that’s unlikely now, but even a one percent chance is terrifying.

- I don’t want to go back, I confided. You make me feel like I’m living a dream.

- I assure you, your dream is real, she teased. You’ll have to get used to living this peacefully.

- You have no idea how right you are, I murmured, snuggling even closer to her.

I close my eyes with a small, satisfied smile spreading across my lips. Yeah, I could easily get used to this new way of life.

- If Mapi kept us apart during our outings, it’s because she missed me, but also because she was seeking my attention out of fear that I’d leave her behind...

- I see, she sighed. There were other ways she could have shown it. Like, for example, talking to you about it.

- She knows she acted poorly, but my distance from her and my closeness to you affected her. She regrets it. In fact, we shouldn’t have involved everyone in this. I should’ve talked to her directly. I almost thought she had a fight with Ingrid.

- She didn’t, don’t worry. Ingrid mentioned it briefly at lunch, she reassured me.

A small sigh of relief escaped me. The last thing we need is for our little issues to affect their relationship.

- So, everything’s settled now? She’s going to leave us alone for the rest of the trip?

- I’ll make sure of it, I giggled.

- Good... So, back to you. Why do you understand how she feels?

- Because I’m afraid of our return to school...

- Babe, she sighed. We’ve already talked about this.

[berylcups]

haiiiii :3 could i perchance request some melone headcanons......... any kind of headcanons, that's totally up to you!! im in need of more content of my favorite purple haired freak :3

Melone HCs?! Now how can I say no to that? 😄 I’ve thought long and hard about this purple blorbo and squeezed all of my thoughts out on here! I hope you enjoy my interpretation of this adorable freak! 💜 Beryl

🍈Melone HCs🍈

CW: This IS Melone we’re talking about so…. Beware the lewdness!

Notes: this is technically number 2 in my list but I thought I’d send this one out first since it got completed first. And it will give you all something to nibble on while I finish up number 1 and start on number 3! 😄 I hope you all enjoy ! 💜 Beryl

This guy sucks at cooking. The most he can do is microwave ramen, Mac and cheese, and boil pasta. 😭

He genuinely thinks pineapple is an ok topping for a pizza. Not bad not great…just OK. The squad is offended and speechless about his apathy of fruit being on a pizza . But his rebuttal is-tomato is a fruit and it’s on a pizza. Someone needs to hold Ghiaccio back because he’s ready to THROW HANDS.🙌

He’s the biggest Anti-hydro homie ever. He HATES drinking plain water. 💧 He only drinks coffee, tea, soda, energy drinks, juice, and alcohol. How does he have clear skin?! He uses lots of trendy face creams and just has good genetics. Lucky bastard.😩

He thinks cola and root beer is the nastiest drink imaginable. He calls it the “black bile” based off the 4 humors of the human body.

He forgets to eat…It’s so bad that he gets a little snarky and Ghiaccio kindly reminds him by saying “oi Melone! Quit acting like a cunt and go eat something for fucks sake!”

He stays up ridiculously late. If he’s not pulling an all-nighter, he’s going to bed by 4am.

He sleeps in his underwear…and it’s a thong. 😳 he used to sleep nude but he also sleeps walks occasionally and nobody wants to see his junk so the team forced him to AT LEAST sleep in underwear!

Believe it or not, his natural hair color is purple! He only dyed it blonde to disguise himself for a mission.

He lost his tonsils from getting too many strep throat infections as a kid. He wanted to keep the removed tonsils but his mom said no. 😞

He’s not hairy but he does wax his entire body. No razor, no hair removal creams…just good ol wax. Ouch. 😬 his skin is as smooth as a dolphin.

His perfume/cologne smells like cucumber melon, green tea, and a citrus blend. Mmm…He’s fruity smelling!

He has a insane 4-5 step system when he washes his hair. He’s used to the warm water going cold on him in the middle of his showering routine. He must put up with the chills in order to have the best hair in the squad! …illuso totally isn’t seething with jealousy btw.

Melone was born and raised in Venezia with Ghiaccio as his best friend growing up. His venetian accent isn’t heavy like Ghiaccios.

He’s 25 years old and identifies as nonbinary. Melone is pretty lax with his pronouns but identifies as they/them it/its and he/him.

His sexuality? It’s yes please! 😄 He’s on board to get down with anyone! He has no preference when it comes to gender…you just need to have an open mind! Although, there are bonus points to be given out if you’re physically able (and consenting) to bear children. If not, he definitely won’t hold it against you! He’s DTF and ready to sweep you off your feet!

This guy has no ass but he can dance like he has one. Twerking and grinding his way at the club hopefully into someone’s pants. 😳

This inhuman human can swallow a banana WHOLE. He has no gag reflex, the dentists love him. Take that information for what you will.

He absolutely HATES snakes. Just the sight of them will make him gag 😭. He’s cool with other reptiles though. Just keep snakes away from him. 🐍

He can’t tell what he likes more-cats or dogs. He likes cats because they are independent and clean but…they like to scratch. He likes dogs because they’re loyal and friendly but… they can poo everywhere. It’s a difficult decision for him to decide! He’ll settle with a reptile like a chameleon. 🦎

He went to university for Botanical studies. He has a hobby for horticulture and beekeeping.

He also dabbles in astrology and reading fortunes through palm reading. (Usually by licking your hand 😬)

He has shaky hands. He doesn’t have great dexterity due to all the caffeine he drinks. He wants to paint his nails but it always looks messy. 😬 so he’s stuck using clear nail polish unless he has enough money to go to the nail salon. 💅

He’s an avid video gamer. His console of choice is the PC, but isn’t interested the console vrs PC wars. If there’s a game he likes and it’s only available on a certain platform, he’s going to get it. Ghiaccio, Formaggio, and Pesci are welcome to his consoles but they need their own controller. He doesn’t want no cheeto hands in his squeaky clean controllers! (This is mostly a rule for formaggio since he snacks and plays.) And no touching Melones laptop! That’s his baby—Babyface. And there’s cursed things you might find on there. 🥴

He’s the best at rhythm games while Ghiaccio is the best at racing games. They both rival each other when it comes to puzzle games.

🔥 Spicy HCs 🔥

According to him, the first time he ever got an erection was when he saw a high heel shoe ad in his moms Vogue Italia. He stole that page and “discovered “ himself. 😳 his mom did catch him and she tells this embarrassing story to her friends and family and social gatherings. Yikes 😬

This guy eats ass/pussy like groceries. Like a man who hasn’t eaten in DAYS. He’s a part of the clean plate club if you know what I mean. 😏 you don’t? Well uh… he good at oral idk 🤷‍♀️

Majority of the time he is a bottom. He’ll dom if you want him to. He’s a slut he’ll do ANYTHING you want.

His top kinks are feet, latex, body worship, and breeding (giving and receiving).

His favorite position is doggy, reverse cowgirl, and the classic mating press. This goes for him and his partner.

His favorite times to do it is shower time and when you both wake up. There’s just something about lazily screwing you from behind as he spoons you. It’s his drug and reason for living.

Despite his promiscuous demeanor he doesn’t have one night stands often. He much rather find his soulmate.

He prefers to only use surrogates for babyface that he deems “human trash “. The most toxic of the toxic cruelest ueterus havers. He would never use a good person as materials for his stand. He doesn’t have the heart to believe it or not. His apathy only extends to violent cruel people.

When he finds someone he’s interested in he falls hard. He does want to fuck them ASAP but he wants to treat them like the monarch like they are.

King of aftercare! He’s going to talk sweetly to you and cuddle with you. He’s gonna tend to your bruises, Make a bath for you, clean his fluids off of you, make you something to drink…anything you want 💜

More than likely you will probably be bruising him since he loves being your bottom, but he will still try to give you aftercare after you rode him for over an hour straight. 😅 Be firm and tell him no and give him the same care he gives you. You’ll melt his heart!

[maybeimamuppet]

Do you believe Regina is redeemable?

ohhhhh buddy the whole can of worms this opened

to make a long story short: yes.

to make a long story longer with a tw for mentioned child abuse/neglect and suicidal ideation

i think every iteration of her deserves a shot at redemption.

canonically regina is at most seventeen years old. yes, she’s almost an adult. yes, she does and has done despicable things at this age and even younger. but she is still young. she is still a child. to completely, black and white say, that she is at her core an unredeemable monster who doesn’t even deserve to try does a complete and utter disservice both to her and the people she’s hurt in her past. to say she will be the way she is forever negates all the suffering she goes through and puts others through in canon, misguided though it is.

regina is also basically the textbook for a personality disorder and specifically bpd. borderline is (in a lot of cases i’ll say rightfully) very harshly judged. there’s a lot of stigma around it and cluster b disorders as a whole. but bpd is also caused for the most part by neglect and abuse in childhood. we only ever see regina’s dad in 2004 canon, for a single scene, crying over regina wearing the rabbit halloween costume. he’s completely absent in both the stage show and 2024. and looking at her mom, it is very obvious something has happened to the both of them and that this child (or neither of these children if you include kylie from 2004) is/are not getting the emotional guidance, support, and attention they need. who knows what happened before canon as well. who knows what her dad was like.

speaking as someone who also probably has bpd (which i discovered through doing research to write her better) i can say it is a terrifying experience. i’m lucky in that i’m able to resist my compulsions most of the time, but having them at all is beyond terrifying sometimes. i am filled with rage on a hair trigger these days. sometimes i’m able to process this anger in a healthy way. i can rationalize. i can think through it. i can calm myself down.

other times i can’t. i can only glance through the mean girls tag on ao3 now because if i look at numbers or think for too long about it, i compare the new fics that have come with the 2024 movie to things i’ve written. to see these fics that, while fantastic, are much shorter or don’t have as much effort put into them as what i do get literally ten times the love does hurt, as much as i adore and appreciate what i do get.

by nature with my other illnesses i have to pour my entire heart and soul, blood sweat and tears into every word i put on a page. every fic i’ve done is a piece of me that sometimes feels like i’ve torn it out of myself and given you to read. sometimes seeing that get 150 hits compared to a cadina fic that’s half as long (but again, still amazing! they all deserve every hit and kudos and comment and whatever) getting up to 1, 10, 50k hits just latches to a particularly sadistic part of my brain and it’s all i can think about for weeks. and it makes me want to quit. either writing or living.

and that sounds dramatic because IT IS. and i’m fully aware having those thoughts and urges is irrational. i don’t want them. i miss feeling like i have a community on ao3 (i absolutely have one here and i love all of you in my little circle with my entire being.) i hate having to avoid reading about my favorite characters because it does that much damage to my mental health. i am afraid that it takes something that small for me to have these massive thoughts.

all of that to say is that bpd makes switches easier to flip. it makes bad choices easier to make.

the reason i’m still here. the reason i still write and i haven’t deleted everything i’ve ever done. the reason i haven’t done a number of other things that i won’t say because they aren’t really relevant. is because i have chosen not to. it is incredibly hard sometimes. but it is still a choice you have to consciously make. you have to consciously decide to hurt someone. you have to consciously decide to say things. you have to consciously decide to humiliate your best friend in front of countless other people.

regina did make those choices.

and for that she does deserve consequences. she deserves repercussions and she deserves flack. she does not deserve to get hit by a bus (except for it being the catalyst to help her realize she needs to change) or being force fed to reach her biggest insecurity and fear without her knowledge.

she made the earliest choice when she was either eleven or twelve years old, that we know of.

that is a child.

regina is a child who is clearly suffering in some way we don’t see. she absolutely should be held accountable for what she does and what she has done. but she also deserves to be allowed to apologize and try to make amends. she deserves to be allowed the opportunity for growth and to heal and to become a functional adult who is capable of meaningful relationships and success. she deserves to be allowed to try.

does she deserve immediate or any forgiveness? no. the people around her also deserve the ability to make the choices with her that they will. she has caused harm, people are allowed to process the harm she has put upon them however they will.

but she deserves the opportunity to make it a choice for them.

she deserves a chance at redemption.

[tgmsunmontue]

More than movie magic... 14/24

Hangster AU. Explicit (eventually). Jake is a Hollywood actor and Bradley is a stunt coordinator. Jake's about to make a few self-discoveries. So is Bradley.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN

ELEVEN TWELVE THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FORTEEN

              His dad has been left in charge of the slow cooker, which doesn’t involve much and if he forgets then it’s not disastrous. Of course his mom is a little upset that she’s not making anything special for Bradley’s first family dinner but Jake is secretly pleased, because it feels less formal, like it’s just a casual family dinner. Also with it being same-day it means none of his siblings are able to make it, and the rest of his extended family generally won’t come over on a week night, regardless of what new person his mom might want to run the gauntlet.

              His stomach won’t stop churning and he can’t believe he’s making Bradley endure dinner with his parents before they even have a proper date. It feels all backwards, but Bradley doesn’t seem to mind at all, and he doesn’t want to wait until it somehow feels normal, can’t wait longer than he already has. He hears the knock on the door and stops both his parents in their tracks to answer it, although they both snort and huff in amusement but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t need them answering the door right now, wants to give Bradley one final chance to back out.

              “Hi. Welcome,” Jake says, voice normal level, knowing his mom will be listening in. He drops to a whisper. “You can still decide to turn back and save yourself…”

              “It’s dinner, not marriage,” Bradley replies, and he’s taking off his boots, eyes not leaving Jake’s face though and he realizes Bradley has showered and changed, hair damp and curling and he wants to run his hands through it. Maybe he wants Bradley to run away and take Jake with him. Instead Bradley is stepping forward and brushing the softest kiss over his lips and Jake ducks his head to hide his pleased smile. Okay. He’ll put up with a lot if Bradley keeps looking at him like he’s something special.

              “My parents are just through here,” Jake says, waving a hand in the general direction of the kitchen, knowing that is where his parents will be waiting. Except Bradley’s eyes have fallen on the living room, and there are family photos everywhere and Jake is

              “You have a piano…”

              “Oh. Yeah. Do you play?”

              “A little.”

              Jake bites his lip and decides that his future self can regret his past-self’s life decisions, but right now he really wants to see Bradley’s fingers stretching out and playing. Also because he suspects that Bradley’s idea of playing a little is something akin to Jake saying he acts a little. He’s bound to be insufferably good at it, like he seems to be at everything else, except for seeing the obvious despite it being right in front of him.

              “Do you want to play something?” Jake asks, because Bradley is still looking at the piano longingly and he pushes him towards it, knows Bradley playing the piano is only going to make his mom even more thrilled.

              “Yeah… do you mind? You have any requests?”

              “You said you play a little and yet I get to request a song?”

              “Didn’t say it would be any good.”

              Jake rolls his eyes, because he’ll be shocked if Bradley isn’t equally competent at playing the piano as he is everything else. He’s already started a tune and after a few seconds he recognizes it, but he also realizes he’s an idiot. He’d forgotten his body’s original visceral reaction to when he’d first watched Bradley nearly two years ago. Using the whip and opening bottles, his fingers on the ropes, his climbing and acrobatic skills… Seeing him ride a couple of days ago and watching him now, his fingers playing effortlessly, body moving with the music. Jake’s getting hard watching him and he doesn’t need to die from embarrassment because of what his mom might say. He’s perfectly capable of managing all by himself.

              Of course, that’s the moment his mom decides to appear, the pleased surprise on her face and hearing someone play the piano who isn’t her and he lets out the breath he hadn’t even been aware he’d been holding, because the presence of his mom, the reminder he’s about to sit down to dinner, is enough to ratchet down the building arousal. He’s grateful for small mercies.

              “Oh… you play beautifully Bradley. You’re welcome to come and use the piano any time you want. It’s so nice to hear someone playing.”

              “Thanks. It’s not often I get the chance. Whose piano is it?”

              “Mine, although all my children play. Do you not have a piano at home?”

              “Depends where I’m calling home. I have access to a few pianos, but only a keyboard in my apartment. It’s not quite the same.”

              “No, it’s really not,” his mom says, and she’s now asking if he took lessons and Jake wonders how much more she knows about Bradley simply because she’s had two weeks to ask all the questions she wants and assuage her curiosity ten times over. God. No wonder Bradley isn’t worried about having dinner with her.

              They sit down to dinner, and he expects his mom to interrogate Bradley. Expects to spend the entire time red-faced with embarrassment. Instead it’s a really pleasant, although he does spend most of it tense with nerves, sure that his mom is going to say something absolutely mortifying. She just keeps up a friendly flow of conversation and doesn’t bring up anything that might even embarrass him a little. He doesn’t trust her at all. His dad is having a good day, gentle humor and quiet observations making Bradley laugh. Jake knows he doesn’t need to worry about his dad liking him, can already see the quiet approval in the way he talks with Bradley.

              Bradley offers to do the washing up, and Jake isn’t surprised when his mom agrees, telling them they can both do it and it’s the fact that she’s not treating Bradley like a guest which makes him feel a little less tense. She’s treating him like family, pairing him with Jake already and accepting his offer of help despite it going against every hospital bone in her body. She squeezes his arm as she passes, gives him a little smile and he can’t help but smile back, pleased and a lot relieved that she’s not making this into a bigger deal than it already feels like.

              “For all your dramatic that was nowhere near as bad as I was expecting,” Bradley says, and he’s looking at Jake with the same soft smile he greeted Jake with when he arrived and he gives in to the urge to lean forward and kiss him.

              “I’m an actor, I’m allowed to be dramatic. Literally in my job description.”

              Bradley grins, kisses him and then shoves a soapy wet plate in his general direction, making his shirt wet and Jake pulls a face but Bradley is laughing and Jake can’t help the sheer amount of joy and excitement popping inside him like little kernels of popping corn.

…           …           …

              Bradley’s cheeks hurt from laughing so much. He knew Jake wasn’t going to get off lightly, that his mom probably had something planned, but when she’d returned to the kitchen carrying multiple photo albums he’d not been able to do anything but laugh at the expression on Jake’s face; a mix between annoyance and embarrassment. He hadn’t been able to help himself, wrapped his arms around Jake from behind, chin resting on his shoulder so he could whisper into his ear you’ll get to see mine, Pete has an embarrassing amount. He’d felt Jake relax at his words and he’d felt relieved that Jake still seemed to want that.

              He’s seen photos of every single family member, trying to memorize them all, despite Jake, Kaye and Bill all telling him not to even try. He’ll also apparently get to meet most of them, if not all of them, in the coming weeks. He’s pretty sure having Aunty Kaye and Bill on his side will make the rest all fall into place, he’s not worried at all. Jake’s parents have gone to bed, his mom making a comment about not staying up too late, which had made Jake roll his eyes and blush, muttering under his breath about unholy terrors. Bradley has to admit that he really likes the fact that Jake seems so close with all his family.

              Now it’s time for him to go though, he’s definitely not staying, that’s past the level of familiarity even for him and he’s glad Jake doesn’t seem to expect him to. He pats his pockets, looking for his phone, eyes scanning the flat surfaces around, because he knows he took it out and put it somewhere, but he can’t remember where exactly.

              “You okay?”

              “Yeah, just put my phone down somewhere and can’t remember where.”

              “Oh, let me ring it.”

              Bradley opens his mouth to give him the number but Jake isn’t looking at him, is simply opening his phone and thumbing through and then he can hear his phone ringing but he’s far more focused on Jake.

              “How long have you had my number?”

              Jake freezes, looking caught out and Bradley can’t help the little spike of increased arousal. This gorgeous looking man has his phone number and has maybe had it for a long time. Maybe since they last worked together. Of all the things he’s come to comprehend in the last day or so, the realization that maybe Jake has been looking and wanting for a while, maybe even longer than he has, makes him feel more settled in his own feelings. He’s not alone in this, even if he didn’t think he was, this is pretty good confirmation. God. He really was missing the obvious. Natasha and Bob are never going to let him live this down.

FIFTEEN

[whentherewerebicycles]

cried on and off for an hour this morning about how happy I am. like WOW the brain chemicals are doing something funny today. he was just being so sweet and snuggly and talkative 😭 I can’t believe this is my life!!!!! I think I was also a bit off-kilter because I submitted some info about my end of leave yesterday and I feel utterly bereft at the thought of him being in daycare all day smiling and cooing at somebody else 😭😭 it’s going to be so hard to pick him up at 5:30/6 and only have a couple hours with him before he goes to bed. I’m just trying to remind myself I don’t have to go back until thanksgiving—there’s still so much time left to savor!! and then we’ll have time off for thanksgiving and time off for christmas so for that first month I’ll still be able to see him a lot as we adjust. and I’ll have two WFH days a week where I’ll be able to pick him up earlier and spend more time with him since I won’t have my long commute. it’ll be ok it’ll be ok I just feel kind of frantic at the idea of not getting to have long leisurely snuggles with him in the morning or nap on mom time in the afternoon 😭😭😭 but ok jes pull it together you still have three months!!

[actuallyadhd]

i won’t lie i feel silly for reaching out to a tumblr blog but here goes— My father openly admits he has autism and adhd, my mom is (as far as i know) neurotypical, with trauma. And I didn’t know any of this until i reached 17-18 (currently in my 20’s now) now, all my life i was always told “i need to focus” and that i ‘could focus’ if i put in the ‘effort’— but that i just didn’t ‘want to’. and that hurt growing up, because i believed it, why couldn’t i pay attention to the things i needed to, but when it came time for a favorite subject or something that was genuinely intriguing, i would dive in head first and become the knowledgeable in that subject. (which i later learned could simply be hyper fixation) and then from zoning out to not being able to physically shut my mouth(verbally stimming, even when I’m required to be quiet like during tests) — leg bouncing, finger tapping, daydreaming, feeling like i was “different”.

my mom would always push me to be my best which was harmful to me because i never got a chance for rest. she believed “the busier i was, the less trouble i’d get into” so i was in sports and dance and theater, and everything under the sun that could deter from free time. and i guess that was fine until the break downs and shut downs kicked in. then i was lazy and unmotivated and ungrateful even. and i guess after years of that we learn how to mask, which i think i do really well. because when i brought up to my family n friends that i might have ADHD, they just said “i don’t see it” or “mmm i don’t think so—“ 🧍🏽‍♀️

fast forward. and now we’re at a harsh wall of substance abuse, i use THC products because it helps me just, BE. and i did my research as to why and of course. People with low dopamine levels who smoke THC get that reward chemical that we so crave, and then when we keep getting our dopamine that way, it creates a dependency. go figure. i told this to my boyfriend (who is very loving and supportive, but i also don’t think he believes me when i say i might have ADHD) and he smokes too, n he might have ADHD too (he’s not too sure but he had instances as a kid where adults told him n his parents he might) but the difference is his willpower. and it makes me feel like maybe i’m doing something wrong? not to mention that every time i say i want to get medicated everyone will give me a billion reasons not too— (even tho i might just when i get the finances for it)

he swore he was just like me, but the difference is that he just redirected his energy and mind power to just…not. his words not mine. and then i thought maybe he just did CBT therapy on himself, and he thinks he did too. And I’ve tried all the things that people suggest, calendars, timers, reminder apps, adhd apps, writing on sticky notes, writing it on my hands even!

so i guess my questions are — am i doing everything i possibly can? am i trying hard enough to manage this? did i make a mistake somewhere along the way? and how do i keep going about it even when it feels like no one is taking me seriously when i say i’m struggling with this?

-a very tired n drained brain

Sent February 29, 2024

I'm sorry it took me so long to answer this. I don't know if I can help you a lot, but I will do my best to help you where I can.

I see a lot of things in your message that you might want to address with a counsellor. In particular, it seems like you might have some childhood trauma from being expected to suppress your ADHD symptoms. This can make ADHD symptoms harder to manage, and some trauma-related responses can mimic ADHD, which makes it hard to know what's really going on.

As for your boyfriend, it sounds like he may have found some systems that help him with his symptoms. It's also highly likely that your symptoms are different from his, and that you need different systems from those he uses. That doesn't mean you don't have ADHD, and it doesn't mean he doesn't have ADHD either; it just means that you are different people.

The THC use is something you both might want to reconsider. It can be difficult to find good information on the effects of cannabis on the brain, but what information we have indicates that ADHDers who use it are more likely to become addicted. This makes sense, since you're self-medicating. The problem is the addiction plus the possibility of a variety of other issues that can develop with extended use, such as memory problems and difficulty thinking clearly. Obviously the choice is yours, especially if it is legal in your area, and apparently medical marijuana is now being prescribed as treatment for things like depression and anxiety, which are often comorbid with ADHD, so the medical consensus is definitely in flux.

You list a bunch of different things you've tried, but I can't really offer any thoughts on that because what will help you depends a lot on what you're struggling with and why. I don't think your problem is that you're not trying hard enough or anything like that; I think that you've been stuck trying things that work for other people but that don't address your specific difficulties in a way that works for your brain.

It is clear to me that you are struggling, because if you weren't you wouldn't have written such a detailed Ask. You deserve help and support for the things you're struggling with.

If you write in again with more specifics about what you're currently struggling with, I can try to help you figure out what to do about it. If I suggest something you've tried before that didn't work, let me know and I'll see if I can come up with something else, or some tweaks that might work better for you. In addition, other people here may have suggestions for you to try.

Followers, do you have any thoughts on this story? What do you think about using THC for ADHD? How about the dismissiveness of others when we bring up our symptoms to try and get help?

-J

[arshisrabbave]

#Ipkknd: Arshi and the shared trauma

Something that all Ipk fans/viewers can agree upon is the fact that both even though Arnav and Khushi had a very different life and they both have very different personalities the one thing they have in common is their trauma.

Both of them had to endure the same kind of trauma at young age of loosing their parents. However, despite of sharing the similar kind of trauma it shaped their personality in a very different way which makes them so different from one another.

Arnav Singh Raizada

If I have to be honest with my opinion I don’t think that Sheesh Mahal incident completely changed Arnav or made him a different person. I like to believe that Arnav was always less socially active and shy since he was a kid. Anjali evens tells Khushi during one of the episode that how even during his childhood Arnav didn’t like when someone showed him too much of love or affection, when we get flashback from Arnav’s childhood we can see that he is quite young so during then his mother was still alive.

Arnav not being open to affection maybe due to his father, his father himself never really cared about the affection other people showed him or never really showed any affection to his wife, which Arnav always saw in front of his eyes. Maybe, his mom tried to cover things up by showering tons of love on him and Anjali but Arnav must always have been a silent kid so even beside the curtain of love that his mom put on he could still see the truth.

Arnav was obviously devastated after his parents death, specially his mother’s death. But, what I like to believe made him to be rude, cold and arrogant was because of how his uncle behaved towards him and his Di. His Uncle who was his family was supposed to console him and give him the strength to resilience during his tough time but instead he throwed them out of the house so that he could have the Malik property and house to himself and his family.

Arnav who was just 14 during then and had recently lost his mom when he saw all this he said obviously started believing that out of everything money, wealth and power are the most important thing in life. That’s why probably from a young age Arnav was adamant about becoming successful

I don’t think Arnav struggled financially as a kid because obviously he and Anjali were taken in by Raizadas. And as Arnav mentioned in one episode that he attended Harvard so if Raizadas weren’t rich they wouldn’t have sent Arnav to study in Harvard.

But then again Arnav himself says during initial episode that how Manorama had to break her FD when he was establishing AR. This may sound a little illogical but I think the ancestral property that Raizadas had wasn’t really much and that too was spent on studies of Anjali,Arnav and Aakash.

I am sure Nani offered the little money they had to Arnav to start his business, but Arnav knew that if he wanted people to fear him and respect him, the money that comes to him must be earned by his hard work. His ancestral money wouldn’t have been able to do so.

So yeah, saying Arnav did struggle for success won’t be wrong

Khushi Kumari Gupta

Unlike Arnav she was quite young when her parents passed away maybe that’s why we never saw any of her flashbacks from her childhood cause she was too young.

Even though Khushi was taken in by Guptas after her parents died there’s a high possibility that not everything went smoothly. As she was just a child she most likely moved on and started living like a normal, happy child but there would always be that one person who would remind her that she doesn’t belong to them and they just did her a favour.

That person in Khushi’s life was obviously bua ji. Garima and Shashi always loved Khushi and considered her as their daughter. But it’s a high chance that bua ji didn’t like Khushi since the beginning (which can be seen in the initial episodes as well).

Whenever Khushi was little more happy or did something mischievous bua ji would always be there to remind her that how she is adopted and they did her a favour by taking her in. Those constant reminders stuck in Khushi’s head which lead her into believing that since Guptas did her a huge favour she must do everything they ask her to do even if she doesn’t want to do it.

Just like how she didn’t want to marry Shyam, maybe there were other things that she didn’t want to do but still did only because Guptas asked her to do it.

Khushi’s people pleasing behaviour has always been backfired at her instead. For instance, when she tried talking to Anjali about how she could think about her child and take care for herself or when she tried to convince Akash about how he should try to make things better between him and Payal. In both of the cases it backfired on her

So! We can see that even though Arnav and Khushi shared similar kind of trauma, it had different effect on them and it shaped the ultimate quality of their personality, because they had different situations

Arnav had no one around him when the tragedy struck, people turned their back on him. He earned everything he had on his own. Arnav Singh Raizada didn’t even care if his words or action hurt someone let alone him trying to make anyone happy wasn’t even in his bingo card ever. All he ever cared about was earning power and wealth which he did, he always knew that he didn’t owe anyone anything

Whereas Khushi did have people around her who rescued her and Ofcourse she was loved by them. But the constant reminder from those people to her about how they saved her from time and again ruined things for her, making her to be an ultimate people pleaser

[chiyeko-kurea]

Miscarriages (tw: vent)

I never really believed in spirits or reading into someone’s mind or anything. I mean, for some people, you can see in their eyes that their soul’s broken but I never believed to be a part of them.

One day, at was at the « microkinesiologist », a doctor my mother insisted to take me to. It sounded like a crappy scam, but my mother is the kind to really believe this sort of stuff and was ready to pay a scammer if it even gave us a tiny hope to relieve my pain. I was lying down on the table, my mother sitting next to me, this woman examining my knees, and I remember already feeling uncomfortable with the contact. She touched my knees, turned to my mom and said a year, i don’t remember which one, and asked what happened that time. My mother froze, and told she had a miscarriage. It was a few years before I was born, and my mother never told me about it, I heard it from my sister when I was young. She didn’t specify to the doctor she actually had several miscarriages all the following years, until I finally came, yet the doctor nodded and said something, again I don’t remember exactly what, but she just somehow knew. And she told my mother, like i wasn’t right there under her fingertips, « you can tell her to let go of that. »

I have no idea how she knew that i felt guilty for all of them, the dead kids before me, and how i feel unworthy of being the one born, and how i sometimes wonder how they were named, and if my parents would have been happier if another kid before me was born instead of me. The twisted, bad-tempered, mean and ill little me.

Maybe one of them would have been a lovely little girl, a ray of sunshine and health, talented in science and naturally destined to be a doctor, and would’ve filled my parents with happiness even in their darkest days.

And never, ever would’ve made them cry like I do.

And instead, here’s me, and I wonder if my parents did the right thing to keep trying to have a second kid, or if i am the living proof that sometimes giving up is better.

Sometimes I feel like I have to live up to them. The fetuses. Which is dumb, because you can never outdo someone who never existed based of what they maybe could have done. Their imaginary successes have literally no limitation inside my mind and no matter how hard I try, I always think « maybe they would have done it better ».

I have to be worthy, worthier than them. And sometimes, the truth is that I am jealous of these dead bloody fetuses.

I absolutely want to be a doctor, but deep down I know that even if I didn’t want to, I’d still choose that path because it makes my parents proud in a way they don’t really want to admit and maybe one of the dead fetuses would’ve become a doctor. In the same way, I don’t really know if I want kids and I’m most definitely sure my body can’t handle it because it can’t even handle itself, but maybe one of the dead fetuses would’ve had kids. And in the same way, I taste food I know I won’t like because my parents want me to and because maybe one of the dead fetuses would’ve always tasted everything. And in the same way, I go drive with my dad even when it fucking scares me, because maybe one of the dead fetuses would’ve always happily say yes to drive when he offers.

I know it’s stupid, it doesn’t matter, I should stop comparing myself to other versions of me that could have been born before and stop competing with them, and at least I get credit for actually surviving and living when these fetuses didn’t, right? But still I feel guilty, because I tried to kill myself several times, and even if I never actually managed to, I fucking tried. And oh, how freaking cruelly ironic would that be, the child who finally lives, ends up dead once again, and they lose it to its own hands. And they just keep losing children.

And my mom wouldn’t be able to bear the guilt and my dad would lose another child he poured his soul into.

And « all your parents want is for you to be happy » but then again, I feel guilty, because I not even am. I can’t even give that to them.

[reigningqueenofwords]

You Won't Guess

Part 2 of Dropping In

So, something that you hadn’t thought of right off the bat? You didn’t even exist in this universe. Well, a version of you might. Which was a very weird thought. 

It had been one week since you appeared behind Clint, and you were currently in a room with Tony and his lawyer. He was trying to make it so you actually existed, and since you were a minor…he also was making it so he was your guardian (wrapping your head around him making you a Stark was hard). “I don’t get what’s so hard about this. Thor is from another planet and we were able to get him legal here. What’s so hard about getting a 17 year old girl some paperwork?” Tony was clearly annoyed. 

“She’s a human, Mr. Stark. Clearly there’s some worry about how you came to have her in your care.” His lawyer explained. Again. “Miss, are you here of your own will?” He asked you. 

You nodded. “I am.” Where else would you go? And why wouldn’t you want to live in Stark Tower? 

“And how did you come to be here?” That was something he had been avoiding asking. It was like he didn’t want to know too many details when it came to Tony.

“Magic.” You said bluntly, making him stare at you. “Are you telling me with everything that’s happened, you’re having trouble believing I’m here because of magic ? Aliens attacked New York, Thor is a literal God, and Steve is from the 1940s.” 

Sighing, he made a face that said ‘you’re right’. “I’ll see what I can do.” He caved. “I’ll call you when I get an update, Mr. Stark.” 

“My mom once told me I should be a lawyer. I’m glad that was never a goal of mine. He looked so done with life.” You mused as the pair of you made your way to his lab. “Or like he needs a vacation.” 

He nodded. “He’s my lawyer, so you’re not wrong.” He mused. “And you’re about to be my daughter according to the government, so I’m sure you’ll want a vacation, too.” 

You laughed at that. “Maybe I’ll be fine because I’ve seen the movies so many times.” 

“I am curious about those. You’ll have to tell us about them, because I’m sure the others are curious, too.” Did the movies actually have what happened in their universe? Or were they just completely made up stories? It was fascinating to him. “Maybe we can all go out to dinner tonight and you can fill us in.” 

“That could be fun!” You agreed easily, but then wondered: was Bucky alive in this universe? You hadn’t seen him, nor had anyone mentioned him. “What if there are people in the movies I haven’t seen here?” You asked, looking over at him.

Tony thought for a moment. “That’s a tough one. Would it affect us in any way?” 

“Maybe?” You honestly had no way of knowing. “How about I tell you what I can, only involving the people I’ve met. If things line up, then I can go on…because maybe it’ll help in the long run. If not, I won’t say, because I don’t want things to be weird.” 

He stopped, raising an eyebrow at you. “Weird how?” He wondered. 

You chewed on your lip. “Bucky is alive in the movies.” You blurted out. “No one here has mentioned him.” 

“Why does that name sound familiar?”

“James Buchanan Barnes. Steve’s best friend. In the movies he became the Winter Soldier, and it takes seeing Steve to start breaking through the mind control. That’s like the really dumbed down version.” You rambled. “Steve didn’t know until Bucky tried to kill him.” 

“Oh wow. That’s…big.” What else would you call that information? 

You nodded. “It is. That’s why I don’t want to bring him up if things went differently in this universe? They were best friends. Well, going off the movies it was more than that. One of the biggest ships ever.” It was very clear what you meant by your tone. 

He looked a tad amused. “That’s interesting. Capsicle had a boyfriend?” He motioned for the pair of you to keep walking. 

On the way, you told him all the little tidbits that hinted at Steve and Bucky being more. Tony was hanging on your every word, like a teenage girl with the juiciest gossip. You just knew that you were going to have a much better life here than you did back in your universe. 

“You ship them, don’t you?” He smirked, amused at how into that explanation you got. 

Laughing, you shrugged. “They’re one of my ships, yeah.” You admitted. “That’s all you’re getting from me right now.” You teased, not wanting to be like ‘I also ship you and Steve!’, because that would be weird.. 

“Oh, you wound me.” He teased right back. “What’s the weirdest ship?” 

You thought for a moment. “Nat and Bruce. It was so weird. They were totally setting up a Clint and Nat thing, but then boom. They were together. Out of nowhere, it was them ? So many people, myself included, were confused and annoyed.” You made a face. 

“Yeah, that is weird.” He agreed. “I don’t think I’d get behind that one, either.” It was an odd pairing in his mind, too. “Is that also the most hated ship? Or no?” 

“Not even close, but I think to mention that one would also need to play into things I’m not sure I should let you guys in on yet. I will tell you that it divides people. Like, full on twitter wars have been waged over it.” You snorted. “I kept my opinions to myself. People can be vicious online!” 

“You’re not wrong.” He agreed, opening the lab door. “I look forward to hearing what ship this is eventually. If I guess it, will you tell me?” 

Laughing, you nodded. “Sure, but I know you won’t guess!” 

[time-bone-swap-au]

Time Bone Swap AU

A hero is born.

Part 2

———————————————————————————

Tang: The thing you need to understand about the old legends, is that the story is never finished…

Tang: There may be no more pages left to turn, but there is always more to the Journey…

Tang: Rising from the Netherworld, the Demon Bull King attacked…No one could stop him, no one could resist…

Tang: No one except…the legendary Monkey King…

The Demon Bull King and Monkey King brawl, former sworn brother now enemies, the fight itself was intense, they broke apart the surroundings from their fight, DBK growing in size to match with Monkey King’s speed. Until…

Tang: The Monkey King used his magical staff, to pick up a nearby mountain.

Tang: He trapped the Demon Bull King underneath it…

Tang: The Monkey King sealed the Mountain with the staff that no other being could wield…trapping the Demon Bull King forever…

Tang: With the battle won, the Monkey King vanished…never to be seen again…

Tang: Legend says that the staff still lies on top of that mountain…the one thing keeping our world from certain destruction…and with the Demon Bull King gone…

Tang: Civilization was able to advance into the amazing we now live in!

*Bgm Theme*

Tang: A world of elegant cultures, gentle loving creatures…a city brimming with Five Star Cuisine!

Tang: And all because of the Monkey King-

Tang: Bai He…Bai He! Are you listening?

Bai He: Yeah yeah…The Monkey King fought the Demon Bull King and saved everyone, yeah, now hold on I gotta finish this level…

Tang: Bai He, I know you don’t like it when I talk about this stuff, but please this is for my class!

Bai He: Mom, no one likes history class, it’s so boring! Besides you told me that story about like, gazillion times already! I already know how it goes and ends…

Bai He: And even then it’s just a legend…why is this a topic in History Class?

Tang: Because, it’s a part of our city’s history! It’s why Monkey King is such a popular legend around here, talking about the legend and tales of old will teach people in the new generation the history and stories passed down from one generation to another…

Bai He: Well, you won’t be telling anything with the time right now…

Tang: ?!

Tang: GAH!

Tang: Thanks sweetie, I love you!

Bai He: Love you too mom…

Pigsy: *Sigh* You really need to take it easy on your old man, kid…

Bai He: I know, I know! But it’s so…hard…he keeps telling me the same stories, over and over again, I just want variety that’s all! Like Percy Jackson or the Roman gods or something!

Bai He: *Sigh*

Bai He:…

*Ding ding*

Bai He: That’s mah, cue, see ya in my next livestream!

Pigsy: Don’t count on it…I can’t believe Mei actually convinced you to ‘switch content’ for your livestream, have you even done a stunt in your life?

Bai He: Relax! I’ve been practicing! Welp, see ya later Pigsy!

Pigsy: Yeah, sure…

*BGM plays*

Bai He: Hey Guys! What’s up! It’s your girl Bai He! Coming up with a brand new content, just for this livestream!

Bai He: As you probably guessed, I’m going to be switching content with our local, little miss racer, Mei! Hey bestie!

Bai He: Now, since I’m probably not as experienced as Mei, we’re gonna do some simple parkour stuff, I know it’s gonna be boring compared to Mei, but, we don’t want to kill ourselves do we?

Bai He: Now, I’m currently in an old abandoned construction site ready for the stunts I’m gonna pull, you ready chat?

*Ding, Ding*

Bai He: Behind me?

Bai he Looks behind her like her chat is warning her and sees two bull clones around the construction site.

Bai He: What the…hang on, it’s probably just weird construction workers with weird hats on…

Bai He takes her phone and sneaks closer, hiding behind a patch of rubble.

Bai He: Nope…definitely Bull themed dudes…

She watches as the Bull Clones enter into an elevator, activating the lever and going down. She then turns back to her phone and whispers.

Bai He: Ok chat, that was weird, is there like a, Monkey King themed party in the construction site that I don’t know about?

Her chat flows like crazy, encouraging her to go follow the guys, thinking this is part of the stream.

Bai He: Hm? You want me to what?!

Bai He:…

Bai He: Erm…uhm…ok…maybe this will count as a stunt livestream?

As the elevator once more lifts up back from the ground Bai He contemplates…she sighed as she took her phone, filming her go and check out the mysterious Bull clones.

As the Elevator takes a halt, she hides behind a few walls as she hears two people talking to one another.

Princess Iron Fan: It feels like I’ve waited an eternity for this moment…

Princess Iron Fan: Is everything in order?

Red Son: Just making the final adjustments mother…

Bai He squeaked and scurried along the walls eavesdropping on them and filming the whole thing, causing her chat to go WILD as the Monkey King was a very popular story, immediately recognizing those two as Red Son and Princess Iron Fan.

Princess Iron Fan: Finally after all this time, we have the means to lift Monkey King’s legendary staff…

Bai He: Monkey King’s staff…but that’s just a legend!

Chat started to ring, wanting to take a closer look, Bai He looked around her and climbed up the nearby pipe.

Princess Iron Fan: My love will finally be returned, once we remove that staff, huh?

Bai He climbed up next to a bird on the top of the pipes, filming the entire scene with her phone and getting a closer look at the staff.

She watched as a Bull Clone tried to lift the staff with all his might, but failed, getting his arms ripped off, its less morbid since that’s a robot…

Red Son: You fool! You think we didn’t try that already?

Red Son: It’s going to take more than a few robots to lift the Monkey King’s staff, only those deemed ‘worthy’ can wield it.

Bai He: Yeah sure…only those deemed worthy…not like you just have to be super super strong to carry it…because that is a 17,000+lbs pillar…pretty sure the Jade Emperor can wield that…calling yourself a weakling right in front of the stream…

Red Son: But I…Red Son have designed this gauntlet to bend it to my will!

Bai He didn’t panic, she remained calm, curious about the gauntlet…it didn’t make a whole lot of sense to her…these were stuffs in legends, there’s no way they would be real now…right…?

She watched as the boy in red (or Red Son apparently) struggle to lift the staff, even with that gigantic gauntlet, she gasped as she saw his hair burst into flames, knowing for a fact that was not CGI nor some weird hologram technology…

Red Son: NGAH! YES! I DID IT!

The Bull clones clapped at their boss’ victory…but nothing happened…

Red Son: WHAT?! Why isn’t anything happening?!

Red Son: Mother, are you sure this is the right mountain?

Princess Iron Fan: No! Maybe it was that other mountain with a magical staff sealing away my husband!

They both looked, feeling the ground shake, suddenly the ground exploded into a green ball of life, consuming the area and blowing every Bull clone in sight.

They looked up in victory, having unsealed the Demon Bull King.

Red Son: Yes father! Rise! Rise!

Bai He watched in terror as the stories of legends come to life right in front of her, she almost dropped her phone in shock.

Demon Bull King: Flesh…Bone…I have returned to the realm of the living!

Bai He stares in shock then the bird beside her starts trying to snuggle with her, making her almost slip from the pipe:

Bai He: No! Shoo! Go away you stupid bird!

Princess Iron Fan: Oh! Demon Bull King…how I’ve missed you…

Demon Bull King: Princess Iron Fan! The years have been kind…how did you free me?

Red Son: Actually, it was I father! I moved the staff! I learned to harness it! To make it’s power m-

Demon Bull King approached them both, his presence menacing to his own…son…

Red Son: O-Our…power…

Demon Bull King: Excellent…

Red Son looked up, being praised by his father amused him.

Red Son: Now, we the Demon Bull Family, will plunge the world into eternal DARKNESS!

Bai He: Shoo! Shoo! Get out!

Bai He: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Bai He: Ouh….

Bai He: Oh uhm…hi…?

Red Son: GET OFF ME YOU IDIOT!

Bai He: BWAH!

Red Son: ARGH! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID?! YOU RUINED MY MOMENT!

Demon Bull King: A little eavesdropper has fallen into our midst…

Demon Bull King: It seems a waste to crush something so insignificant as my first act as ruler of this new world…

Demon Bull King: But…so be it…

Bai He panicked her heart racing as her fear arose, sweat dripping down her face as she feels her life flash before her eyes, however the Demon Bull King paused, grasping his head as if he were having headaches and gaining some sort of memory…

Demon Bull King: ?!

Red Son: Wait father!

Demon Bull King: What is this…?

Red Son: I recognize this indigo-haired imbecile…

Bai He grabbed her phone, seeing the livestream still on, and her phone cracked, she silently groaned, Red Son looked in shock, as he grabbed her shoulder…

Red Son: Turn that off! Gamer girl!

Bai He gulped, turning off the livestream, then turned to the Demon Bull Family.

Red Son: Oh my word…you’re that live-streaming gamer on Twixtch! What are YOU doing here?! This is not a place for games!

Bai He: Eheh…content…?

Red Son: Nonetheless…father, this little peasant with prove useful to us, her influence will be able to spread your name across the entirety of the globe! With her fame and your power, the realm will once more hear the name of the Demon Bull King!

Bai He looked at them with the most confused and scared expression she had ever placed upon her face…like seriously man? You want a livestream about your father? Grow up no one cares about that shit…

Besides, no one will believe them…right…? But it’s her life on the line.

Bai He: Yes, yes! I can give you the fame and let more people know more about you…I mean it’s been Y’know…500 years since you’ve actually made an appearance…and uhh…no one really believes your…ahem…real…

Bai He quickly stammered regaining her false confidence.

Bai He: B-But! Since I’m friends with a certain, dragon streamer…they’ll probably believe…you’re real…?

She looked up at the family nervously, she knew Demon Bull King was angry at her for one thing, but the other two seemed angered that she even spoke, as if trying to see them as equals, the Demon Bull King huffed…unsure if he was amused or angry still…

Demon Bull King: As you wish…

They began to walk away, Red Son held Bai He by the arm with the gauntlet on his hand, signaling she couldn’t run…

Red Son: In some ways…you’re very fortunate…gamer girl…not many get to see the day the Demon Bull Family will rule over this world…

Bai He: Ngh…all this for a parkour livestream…

Red Son: What?! You were streaming that today?! You couldn’t pick another time?!

Red Son groaned as he escorted Bai He out of the construction site, using the tunnels to bring her back to their lair…

The Demon Bull King stared at Bai He…a sense of familiarity swelling upon him…

But again…he didn’t recognize this little eavesdropper…

———————————————————————————

Finally finished part one of this pilot…instead of breaking this into 2 parts like the actual pilots, there’s a possibility that I will break it into 3 or 4 parts for all!

But hey! You get to see the difference between Bai He and MK! Ain’t that a blast?

Also…

The pilots are all the same for the three timelines

Destiny’s Lament

Third Time’s A Charm

Accepted Fate

Except for the ending of the Pilot. If that makes sense then enjoy this little part of ‘A Hero is Born’ Time-Bone-Swap AU, addition!

[softxsuki]

hello, i don’t know if this is an urgent request but my mom died a few weeks ago and i’ve been up and down with my emotions. i feel like its going to be isolating this christmas because it won’t ever be the same. could i request a drabble with izuku comforting reader going through it during college, any time it is too much for reader, izuku is always there. and each year they do something to commemorate the loss, until one year he proposes? sorry again if this is a lot

Midoriya with Reader Whose Mom Passed Away

Pairing: Midoriya x Gn!Reader

Warnings: mentions of mother passing away, crying, isolation, sadness, grief, eating, kissing

Genre: Hurt-Comfort

Post-Type: Oneshot

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: In which Midoriya commemorates the loss of your mother each year on her death anniversary, but one year ends up becoming more special than the others.

[A/N: Hey lovely, thank you so much for trusting me with this request. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know nothing I can say or do will help you feel better, but I'm here if you ever need to talk. Fun fact: when my abuelo (grandpa) passed away I remember sending balloons up into the sky for him on his birthday (probably not the best for the environment, but I was a child at the time and didn't know any better). I always prayed that my balloons would reach him safely as I wished him a happy birthday. One year when I did this, there was a star in the sky that was glowing very brightly. I remember being so fascinated by this star so I watched it the whole time my balloon flew up into the night sky. Suddenly, that star turned even brighter, almost like a door in the sky suddenly opened up and I swear my balloon went through that opening. To this day, I like to believe that it was my grandpa receiving my balloon :). That's why stars are very special to me and why I decided to mention them in this post. I truly hope this is able to provide you with a little comfort and happiness as you deal with all these very confusing emotions. I actually cried a little while writing this because it reminded me of my aunt who I lost last year. I wish you nothing but healing and good energy. Praying for you <3]

“I miss you mom. I really wish you were here,” you whisper to yourself, the death anniversary of your mother once again arriving.

Even though it’s been a few years since she passed, the pain was still the same as the day when you first found out. Trying to balance the grief of losing your mother so soon, along with being a college student, and lover to your boyfriend, was very hard at times. Most nights you spent crying yourself to sleep, you spent most of the days locked up in your room, not able to face the world outside, and you could hardly find the strength to properly feed yourself.

Thankfully though, your boyfriend, Midoriya, was always by your side to help you through your ups and downs. He gave you enough space so you could comfortably let your emotions out, but always stayed near enough incase you called out to him. He’d hold you tightly each night, kissing your tears away as he whispered comforting words into your ear.

On days where you felt a little better, he’d take you out to try and fill your days with some excitement and fun. He hated to see you isolating yourself from your friends and family, and even him at times. So, on days when you guys didn’t have any class, he'd spend the whole day outside with you. Showing you new, exciting places just so he could see that little light in your eyes again; all he wanted was for you to feel happy again.

Each year on the day of your mom’s death anniversary, he’d plan something special to commemorate your loss; something to never let her memory die out. Some years he’d attempt to cook either your mom’s favorite meal, or one of her special recipes she used to make for you all the time. He wasn’t the greatest cook, but he always took his time and contacted Bakugou for help if he needed it (Bakugou is a bit stubborn to help, but he gives in eventually, saying MIdoriya owes him one). But the food always comes out great.

You’d both sit down in the living room together, enjoying the food as you watch old home videos that included your mother. Tears would fall, and sobs would leave your lips, but Midoriya knew it was important to watch those videos so you could see your mom and never forget her (not that you ever could anyway).

Other years he’d take you on a late night picnic at a nearby park with some of your favorite food. After eating you’d both lie down and watch the stars. Midoriya would point at one that shined the brightest and say, “Look, it’s your mom looking down on us. She’s here to spend some time with you.”

As cheesy as it was at the time, you were happy to believe his words. Wanting to believe that your mother was looking down on you at that moment.

Today marked another year without her and this year, your boyfriend was doing some cooking on his own, without anyone’s help. But instead of having you around, he told you to just wait in the living room, saying he’d call you out when everything was done.

Your mind wandered through all the memories that still lingered of your mother. There was never a day that went by that you didn’t miss her. And with the Holiday season approaching, you felt a little more empty inside knowing she’d never be around to celebrate Christmas with you anymore. You’d never be able to buy her a gift anymore. Regrets started to fill your head of things you should have done for her that you never had the chance to do, but thankfully Midoriya’s sweet voice breaks you out of your thoughts as tears continue to fall down your face.

With a small smile, Midoriya walks over to you and holds a hand out for you to take, “Let’s eat some dinner, sunshine. I made one of your mom’s recipes this year,” he says, wiping your tears away as you take his hand and you both walk over to your small dining table that’s decorated very nicely–perhaps maybe even a little more romantic than usual.

“I’m sorry for crying, I don’t mean to ruin the evening,” you apologize, trying to calm yourself down.

“It’s alright Y/N, we’re here to remember your mom, so you can cry as much as you need to, I don’t mind.”

You nod, sniffling as tears continue to fall down your face, but you take a seat and dig into a familiar looking dish that your mom used to make you. One of your favorites that she used to cook.

After one bite, the nostalgia hits you like a truck, making you cry even harder as you continue to eat.

“Just like mom- used to make,” you choke out between sobs.

Dinner was great to say the least, and Midoriya ended up moving his chair beside you, grabbing your hand through the rest of the meal to let you know that he was there for you.

Thankfully, you do manage to calm yourself down and really soak in the flavors of the meal, never wanting to forget the memories that came along with the food in front of you.

“Thanks ‘Zuku, that was incredible. Just…thank you for always doing little things like this to keep my mothers memory alive, you have no idea how much I appreciate it,” you thank your green-haired boyfriend.

“Anything for you. I loved your mom too, so even I enjoy doing this for you,” he responds, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, “Hmm, but the night’s not over yet. Your mom’s star is waiting for us.”

And with that you both head to your usual spot at the nearby park. Just like each night on this day every year, the sky is perfectly clear so you can see each star. The brightest star in the sky glows invitingly to you, spreading warmth within you at the prospect that it could be your mom.

“Hi mom,” you whisper, wishing you could reach up to touch the star, wishing you could hug your mom again, “Thanks for coming.”

You laugh sadly to yourself, tears once again welling in your eyes. They were a mixture of happy and sad tears. Sad because you of course missed your mom, but also happy, because it felt comforting to have the star glowing brightly over you with the idea that it was your mother watching you from above.

“Y/N,” you hear Midoriya call your name from beside you.

You were standing, looking up at the stars, but turned your head to the right, where his voice came from. The sight before you was very unexpected and almost had you falling to the floor.

To your right, Midoriya was down on one knee with a box in his hand as he looked up at you with watery eyes and a gentle smile. The glow of the moon and some nearby street lamps illuminated his face, making him look particularly handsome–more handsome than usual as he was completely vulnerable in front of you in that moment.

“I don’t know if this is the best time to be doing this. And by all means, you don’t have to feel obligated to say yes, but I’m a man who loves getting permission from my partner's parents before deciding to marry them. Tonight you mom is here watching over us,” he points up at the star that you’d both labeled as your mother’s before continuing his speech, wiping the tears out of his eyes a bit, “So, what better day to ask for your hand in marriage than right now with your mom here as a witness.”

Your breath catches in your throat at his beautiful, thoughtful words, but he’s not done yet.

“Y/N, I love you so much. Maybe even a little too much, but I have no regrets being with you. These past few years have been some of your hardest, yet I only seem to fall even deeper in love with you as the years progress. Whether through your happiest or darkest days, I want to be by your side forever as your husband. I want to be able to officially call you mine and have your pain become my pain as we become life-long partners. So, Y/N L/N, would you do me the honor of making me your husband?”

Tears were falling down both of your faces. You were filled with so many emotions, but in the moment, joy overpowered all your other feelings. You were at a loss for words, and your endless sobbing wouldn’t allow you to say much, so you just said whatever came to your head first, “It would be my honor.”

He places the ring on your finger, happy tears falling down his face as he scoops you up in his arms, pressing kisses to your lips. He was the happiest man alive now that he was your fiancé.

Now a day of sadness would be a day of happiness and celebration for the two of you as a future married couple, but you’d both still of course still commemorate the loss of your mother. This was a huge step for the both of you–no longer would you be alone, but your life-long partner would be by your side every step of the way to help you navigate through life without your mom. New happy memories together were just waiting to be made, and your mom will be there every step of the way, watching over you.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 11/18/2022

[majorshatterandhare]

I’m thinking about which yarns I will order next for my dolls. The copper color for sure, and I know which skin and hair tones I want to use for Ashes and Marius, so I can get those. The other skin tones are harder because I’d like to have variation in them and it’s hard to tell if they’re too pink or too yellow or too orange or whatever, like, the color looks greyish but is it actually or is it bad lighting? I have photos from two different sites of the same yarn I am using do I can get a slightly better idea. TS gets to be a “wood” color (wood colors align pretty well with skin tones though so it’s basically gonna be whatever color I want) and I’d like a muted tone for Nastya since there’s not really another way for me to show her mechanism. I need two skeins of each color (actually I need four I think because they’re only twenty-five gram skeins) so I’ll likely order of a few of the lighter tones so I can decide who gets what color or if there’s one that just won’t work or something. I’m just not sure I’m gonna do that yet.

I am thinking about doing some trials to bleach some of the yarns, so I can get a nice color change for Nastya and Ashes’ hair. I was thinking vinegar or something might work, but I have used household bleach for cotton bleaching purposes before (it was just a denim jacket instead of strands of yarn). But the yarn is mercerized, so I don’t know how that will affect it.

I somehos just had the idea of only doing Brian’s heart and not his whole insides, since, like Tim, Marius, and Raphaella, his mechanism is visible from the outside. But I love how he and Jonny are foils, so showing his heart too would be great! And potentially give context for whatever grey lump ends up being Jonny’s heart. I think Brian’s heart is visible through glass, but recreating that would necessitate clear plastic, which would be hard to begin with due to size and the fact it’s fiber (ie, just trying to glue the edges in there probably wouldn’t work), but also I’m trykng to keep them natural fibers. On the other hand I do want them to be relatively accurate. …Weave a little cage cover using fishing line or something… still won’t br clear but leaving purposeful gaps would still allow viewing without opening… IDK. If anyone has a good idea for thaf, let me know. The best I can come up with so far is allowing this exception and using a piece of one of those plastic clam shell containers you get food in, because, while sewing through that would be pretty impossible (except maybe is I use a hot needle to melt holes in it?) it’s sturdy enough super glue or the like may work.

I tend to stuff things hard. Like, really hard. The most recent ami I made, I purposefully tried not to stuff it too much, and thought I did a pretty good job, but my mom insists is still quite hard. I think the Mechs would think it was fucking funny to be able to beat each other to death with little dolls of themselves, though, so….

Anyway, so I started Brian’s head and it is smaller than I was dxpecting but it looks really good IMO. This yarn is barely plied together, so holding it double results in the plies just melding to look like one thinker strand instead of two smaller ones, which is really cool. I’m a little concerned about doing Brian first, since he has several changes for body type, so I really out to be doing whoever I decided would be as written first, which is part of the desire to order some of the other skin tones, although I believe that I have planned neither Marius nor Ashes to be as written either. I don’t know. Shouldn’t take too long for the felt to get here once I order it, since the seller it relatively near to me.