#bitch they are traumatized and not even 20 yet

[marsconer]

i hate how this fandom treats calypso. like we know why percy forgot about his promise, we know all of this but she doesn’t. she’s trapped in a island with no sense of time and when a hero she loves promised her he would free her, all she knows is that he didn’t when she was naive enough to believe he would. and about the curse, girls are allowed to have nasty cruel thoughts and the way some people expected percy to act around her is really telling to how they see his character.

[titleleaf]

@rocket-eighty-eight mentioned you on a post “The real saw trap is reading an incredibly wrong...”:

@titleleaf WHERE did you see this red dragon take?!?!!

​Why, here on Tumblr Dot Com, of course! I thought I had it screencapped but I managed to restrain myself from engaging with the original post -- the OP was all of 20 and God knows I made absolutely boneheaded Tumblr posts when I was 20, I make some pretty stupid ones now. Regardless, it had pretty hardcore "hasn't actually read Red Dragon" energy. As you might also expect it was a post gassing up the NBC Hannibal s3 finale, framing Will's participation in the killing of Dolarhyde as him embracing queerness and aligning himself with his true love, Hannibal, rather than his fake comphet love, Molly.

Paraphrased, their interpretation was: "the end of Red Dragon, the book, has Will triumphing over Dolarhyde and successfully saving his wife and child, reaffirming the integrity of heterosexual marriage and exorcising the queer threat that Lecter poses to Will's identity of himself as straight, while the show's s3 finale has the better and more affirming depiction: Will leaving behind his wife and child and going to be with Hannibal and embrace his nature as a killer, showing that he's accepted his true self and what he holds in common with Lecter." Which... all of that aside, that's not remotely what happens in the book Red Dragon!

The ending of the novel is so notoriously downbeat and ambivalent that I have read multiple pieces of academic writing commenting on it, and it's something both film adaptations have felt the need to change. It's a fucking downer. You can't even feel good about Molly killing Dolarhyde because you've seen enough of Dolarhyde as a sympathetic wounded beast to wish that outcome, however inevitable genre conventions make it, could be different. Will's relationship to his stepson is already fatally wounded before Dolarhyde shows up, and Will's marriage is fucking toast -- even as Will's lying in his hospital bed he knows this, that Molly will leave him because of what's happened, and by the time SOTL takes place it certainly seems to have come true. Will's physical and mental well-being have been burned through, and by the next time we hear about him he's a deeply traumatized alcoholic whose face looks like damn Picasso drew it, and, we can assume, very single. Heterosexual love is not enough in this book to save anybody! Not Dolarhyde and Reba, not Will and Molly, not the Leedses, not the Jacobis, not Dolarhyde's mother and her new husband, not even Freddy Lounds and Wendy. Will comes to a fuller understanding of the "vicious urges" within him that humanity more broadly struggles with, not just outliers like Dolarhyde and Lecter, but it's not a comfortable exorcism of the destabilizing threat of violence, the emotional tone remains uneasy and weird. It's a bummer. Nobody is living happily ever after and it's Lecter who gets the last word. (And he's such a bitch about it, too, I'm obsessed.)

My own feelings on how the show does the RD plotline with Dolarhyde in s3 aside (short version: badly) I think people have a tendency to back-project the show's framing of Will and Hannibal's relationship onto the first novel when it doesn't apply. Their relationship in the book is interesting and imo very fun but it's very different because the rest of the canon from which the show will draw to pad it out just does not exist yet -- the show sort of Frankensteins together parts of Clarice's plotlines to make up the difference and while I enjoy the results in isolation Will and Hannibal's relationship dynamic in the show isn't remotely a straightforward translation from book to screen or some kind of more correct, uncensored version of what the book was too timid to show. (Clarice's whole perverse union with Lecter in Hannibal the book follows its own different trajectory, and I can see how people read it as liberating and/or affirming, but uhhhh I'll get back to them on that later.) I don't think the show does the fusion of those two relationships particularly elegantly (or the distribution of other aspects of the Hannibal-Clarice relationship onto other characters' relationships to Hannibal, though it did bring me one of my favorite parts of s3 with Bedelia) but I think it's really muddied people's ability to talk about the actual books (and films) on the merits of what they actually contain versus what they assume they must contain or would like them to contain. It's a hot mess express.

[niuniente]

Looking at Joon, I just realized he’s exactly like the characters I got to play when I was acting in my early 20′s.

I spent around 10+ years without really speaking to anyone unless I was spoken to - which happened so rarely I still remember every single moment someone spoke to me in those 10+ years. Why? I was so badly traumatized I was more like a ghost than a human being. Completely shut off from people and life. Even at the theater with the group I acted with, I was a mute ghost.

Yet, when I got on the stage, it was a completely different story. No one had as much confidence, fire and this chaotic riot energy as I did when it came to acting. I got all the villain roles, crazy roles, aggressive roles, loud roles. If it needed chaos, Niu was directors choice lol. The very first time I stepped on the stage in a practice to take a place of a missing actress in a very aggressive role and pulled that through without no hesitation bitch, the WHOLE FUCKING THEATER GROUP WAS SO QUIET AND SHOCKED YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP.

When Joon appeared suddenly, I thought to myself that he’s not my kind of a character, how interesting that he appears.

Now I get that we have a lot more in common than I realized lol.  He’s like my actor side. Only see on stage (and whenever I riot against injustice which I have done since I was a kid lol).

Ah, I miss playing chaotic heartless villains. I’m really good at those roles.

[unofficialadamtaurus]

First of all CONGRATS for finishing! It could not have been easy (I say as I remember all the times you were sore, bruised, and/or sick while trying to write a chapter LIKE BRUH), especially when each and every chapter is god tier. Seriously homie, you’re amazing!!

But FOR REAL WTF?? these dudes keep working after having infiltrated a massive fucking whale, stopped a Grimm invasion, got exploded to bits, and fought an immortal milf? Babes pls get some. Idk. SLEEP.

Naw but i really do love to see it. Also especially love to see how much they support each other through it 🥹 honestly the highlight of the chapter for me.

GOD like this moment when all of RWBY hug is HNNNNGSOZHBEHAOXH

Blake and Weiss joined the hug by some unspoken signal. Ruby melted into their embrace like so many petals and Blake's heart melted with her. "I missed you guys."

THEY ARE FAMILY OKAY AND I JUST GXHWIYZBXOYWNJ

Ruby is being particularly adorable too (the carrots line killed me 💀) but also like GURL YOU ARE LITERALLY BLIND RN STAY IN BED??

Yang nodded. "We'll get through it. Speaking of getting through things…can we talk?"

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yang shuddered at her touch. Their lips brushed when Blake continued: "Let's skip that part this time."

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

THOSE TWO ARE SO *frantic arm gestures* YKNOW??? Im happy they got a happy ending because yeah I doubted it for sec okay 😩

LMAO at the reoccurring Oscar interruption but wait FUCK THE KID IS FUCKING DYING?? UGH god I didn’t expect the Oscar and Ozpin thing to hurt as much as it did. Ozpin deserves good things too dammit whyyy 😭😭

GODDAMN Adam and Blake conversations are always so top tier is2g. There’s something I love so much about this conversation brooo. Blake’s resolve and care towards him just 🥹 UGH. her unwavering stares? Easily expressed gratitude? Instant forgiveness (nothing to really forgive cuz like corruption feels like shit and pretty violating and traumatizing tbh fr but she does it anyway to help him feel better ANDANDAND—)? THE LETTER???

OWHXISOWHXNIWOEUDNCKEIHWKFIW I JUST LOVE IT WHEN SOMEONE CARES ABOUT HIM AND HE FEELS IT OKAY

And FUCK I love this part

He swallowed and looked away, unsure how to respond to that. He didn't want to say "You're welcome," because they weren't, and this was never going to happen again. Even if, in some small corner of his heart, the knowledge that he'd helped to save the world like some kind of fantasy hero radiated a gentle heat that would warm him for a long time to come.

YOU DIDNT HAVE TO GO THAT HARD HOMIE IM ALREADY CRYIN 😭

Also LIVING for Neo and Adam team up. Neo’s expressive mannerisms are genuinely so fun to read UGH it’s PERFECT. And the “Don’t stay too long” for Qrow OAISBXOIENWOWIDN

He clipped Blush to his belt and let the spark flare unhindered.

Homie when I tell that IM FUCKING LIVING FOR THISS

"'Part of starting over is saying goodbye. You were first; now it's my turn. If you want to, you'll see me again.

"'Goodbye, Blake.'"

OWJDNEOWHNDDIJENEIDNXIEUWNDIFUENEIDIXJNWO IM EMOTIONAL

wait omfg I think I forgot to mention to Jaune 💀 I don’t hate him I swear The way his semblance and aura are practically working against each other is a REALLY interesting and nice touch, and i don’t think ive ever seen it applied like this. And I love his “i went from nothing to nothing line” and how he’s just so glad he was able to save somebody. 🥹 it captured that part of his character so well and tbh the same goes for all the others (me @ ruby rn is going “bitch is you BLIND”). It’s a really neat touch to the chapter!!

I can't tell if you've read the epilogue yet, but either way I am injecting every keysmash in this message directly into my veins. Your reviews were one of the things I most looked forward to when writing a new chapter - I was excited to see which lines you'd specifically comment on. You're probably at least 20% of the reason this story got finished at all lol.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for never failing to bring a smile to my face when commenting 😊

[transmascrage]

Literally my mom will see me being relaxed and think "How can I ruin his mood?"

Today she was mad that I don't have a job yet. She screamed and yelled that I needed to help the family but kept using the example of gas prices, as if I caused inflation??

That they couldn't maintain me forever, as if I'm not 20 and only finished school last year, because she started working at 15, the poor little meow meow.

And that one of my sister's friends, who's 16, got a job, as if I didn't get my first job at 17 during a pandemic.

And how at that job, "they hire normal-looking people too, even fat girls!!!" literally what are you saying. Say it with your chest. Don't fucking hide what you're trying to say.

She fucking knows I'm trans, I've told her everything but "I am trans", but she'll still call me and my sister "girls" and imply I'm a girl who just needs to get over her stupid ideas and start shaving. Which I fucking won't. I hate shaving and I get super painful microcuts that bleed like arteries every time.

And it's funny she says that because when I started to grow leg hair she refused to let me shave. And I have A LOT of body hair and it's really dark so I'd have to shave every two days if I wanted to not look hairy as fuck.

Then when I started to be insecure because the kids in class would make fun of me when I wore shorts she finally took me to get waxed and then laser treatment. And I don't know if I have a lower pain threshold than normal but holy shit it's so fucking painful. I felt like I was being shot. Meanwhile, she insists it doesn't hurt that much and I'm being dramatic. Which she did when I was scared of vaccines too.

Every time I'm doing well she managed to send me into a depressive episode and I fucking refuse to be sad this time, tomorrow I'm going to my first concert and it's gonna be my 5th-6th anniversary of realizing I'm trans.

Every goddamn year she'll sit me down and yell at me for a while that I need to do something better. Used to be my grades, but I guess she's gotta find something else now that I'm in uni.

God. But now that my sister's in therapy she treats her soooo much better, but she's so used to taking shit out on me she can't help it I guess. And when I told my sister I was depressed for 7 years, since I was 13, or at least had almost constant depressive episodes, she started crying and said my depression had to have been minor as opposed to her major depression because she had it sooooooooooooo much worse.

The source of her trauma? Watching my dad almost punch me and me attempting suicide in the same night. I wonder who else could have been traumatized by that.

And now I'm doing better and it's the first time since I was a child, because of my mom's constant fear-mongering and I'm suspecting ADHD (so a combo of RSD, which literally made me feel like I was getting stabbed in my chest, and just being too ND for my classmates), that I'm not anxious and it's still never good enough.

Speaking of ADHD, I finally had the courage to tell my therapist I think I have it and she gave me a condescending smile and went "Oh, that would be a nice excuse to not improve, right?" fuck you bitch I thought I could trust you but you won't even take me seriously.

Fuck everyone in this goddamn family and this goddamn country.

[alliealbe]

the queen forces me to drown in every single emotion. she’ll convince me that everyone i love will abandon me. she will make me hate myself and assure me that although i may not be a good person, i’b better than other terrible people because at least i acknowledge that i am a terrible person.

the little girl is usually hidden although she will come out some nights, cry in my arms and remind me of every single thing that i ever let traumatize her. her memories, her screams, her begging, her cries and her heartbreak are all mine as she is me. i don’t think that i will ever forgive myself for lacking the strength to protect her.

the bitch never sleeps. she makes the darkness feel like a home in flames, broken, comfortable, destructive and inescapable. she will convince me that i am unloved and a burden and she will remind me of every single one of my flaws until i’m exhausted and the only comfort i can find is the secluded safety of my bedroom.

the owl with the cut wings seems to constantly pace. she wants to do things, she wants to experience things although she can’t manage to find the motivation to do so. she is the reminder that a want and motivation are two different things and both are necessary to achieve anything. she will try to achieve one task which will remind her of another which will lead her to another task until she is either too tired to complete the original task or forgets about it altogether.

oh but don’t worry i saved the best for last.

the teddy bear.

everyone has the teddy bear although i believe mine is haunted. she never stops screaming and her screams often become louder than my own thoughts. she provokes panic and fear as if the world is ending, though only for me and if i don’t catch her in time she will take full control over any rational part of my mind before screaming at me to run, more so when there is nowhere to run to. she appears in my dreams, when i wake in the middle of the night, when i’m falling asleep at night and i no longer expect to go absolutely anywhere without her because if she isn’t screaming in my ear she makes sure that i’m aware of her presence in the shadows. she’s been here since before i can remember and will be here long after me, i’m sure of it.

you see, the queen cannot be defeated but can be befriended with time but the queen just so happens to be best friends with the bitch and they seem to gain strength from eachother.

the little girl will stop crying with time but only with a type of comfort that i’ve not learned yet.

the owl cannot be beaten but can be weakened with potions i don’t think i will ever drink and even if i wanted to weaken the owl i would need to weaken the teddy bear first to actually follow through with the wants and motivation that come with weakening the owl.

weakening the teddy bear though can only be done using cheats. i’ve learnt some of these cheats over the past 20 years but implementing them successfully before the teddy bear takes hold of your rationality is the hard part.

oh and did i mention that i’m level 20, these were each implemented into me many many levels ago and i still don’t have the strength to weaken or defeat any of them?

the queen loves this fact.

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Man... I'm not even gonna lie I was semi holding back on explaining my sudden sporadicness thinking I'd be abke to end it off on sugary sweet ah but R's birthday broke me from my addiction!1!!11!! Ending buuut

I just woke up from a horrible nightmare andddd yeah. Basically, started off normalish to bad as it was some family bs which slowly turned to them shaming me for not going to school/working then part of the house LITERALLY EXPLODED. Somehow someway it was made to be my fault lmfao.

Weirdly tho it slowly transitioned to this story of this dude tryna live in the remains of our house. Our house was really high uo for whatever reason and he couldn't easily get food. But he had two pets. Dog and a pig. Pig died of starvation and wayy later on the dog went rabid and bit tf out dude forcing him to have shake him off his foot and watch as he tumbled down the massive cliff/mountain thing the house was on which of course was extremely gruesome.

Thenpoo dude apparently caught an illness from the bite and died ONLY TO BE REVIVED BY THE SPIRIT OF THE MALNOURISHED PIG. Then past that the pig was talking to him and giving him tips on how to survive which involved killing the dog before he could bite him/less starved so more meat. Which meant me watching him bash the dog onto a rock and just... eating. No cooking or ahit.

THEN outta nowhere dude hid and come to find out he was hallucinating SO bad. I'm not even sure if he even died fr atp mans was preemptively hiding from the grim reaper. And not even on some oh shit spooky death man. Dude just APPEARED and it was straight up copy paste from the sims 4. And whole time dude is talking to the pig spirit loud af which I'm sure woulda got him caught.

Whiiich miraculously made me wake up. I think the tomfoolery of the threat of the dream being the casual dumbass from the sims 4 made me realize I was dreamed and I just jerked up hard as hell to wake up quick as possible. It honestly wasn't too bad as far as my dreams go. Watching the dude go insane and murdering his damn dog was hard but it was tame compared some of my others. I haven't taken any cause of if cause I wasn't tooooo scared when I woke up. So this makes 5 days actually. I went a good 3 days without sleeping in fear of the nightmares (plus not being sleepy w/o the shit ngl) but by the first time I passed out I was too exhausted to do all that luckily. This has been my first time sleep again so I'm actually pretty happy I was able to sleep so soon after the fact

Thoooo uh I will be dosing if I don't get as lucky in my next dream. I'm genuinely glad I've had such a relatively easy withdrawal period this time around and I don't want to go back on that without serious reason. The heart pain has been sucky and my head has been pounding but it's been easy to get used to. Though I'm not sitting through any worse of a nightmare than the shit just now. I can't take that mess. I'd love to have the cutesy ass story there but I genuinely can't. Though I'm not that tired and it still ain't happen just yet so maybe I will push through. Thooo we'll see

Edit: accidentally fell back to sleep for another 2 and now off 600 😁👍

I couldn't even explain to entire thing. It would be so long and wouldn't even be picturable past a point. All I know is I woke up scared I was still in it and it took me a good 20 to stop being paranoid that my sisters or dad or my fucking dog was going to transform and continue the dream. I was questioning if I was in hell and if i had ever been a real person

Needless to say my sobriety arc is now over and I'm looking into my new bottle now. I can't have doubts like that. I really can't

I don't care if that makes me weak or a bitch or whatever else. I'm can't sit there getting traumatized by my fucking dreams and still be normal me day in day out. Fuck that

[doperascaltreecloud]

Ok so here's the thing, my father in law passed away December 2020. He had a pretty large estate. My husband abruptly passed away 6 months later. We were married for almost 24 years,( he actually passed away 3days shy of our 24th wedding anniversary). We have 2 beautiful children together and a beautiful granddaughter. My husband Rodney had been battling his 2 brothers and 1 sister since his dad passed. They r the most manipulative backbiting lying theives u could ever imagine. After my husband passed last May, the night he died of a heart attack his older brother Rocky came to the hospital with his wife Angie. The entire time I was grieving over my deceased husbands body, he kept talking about the damn estate. Honestly I didn't much care about that damn estate nor anything but losing my beloved husband. Before we go, I was waiting to be alone with him to say my goodbyes, he says his. I quote, " Don't worry about your family little brother I got em ok, I promise." And patted my husband on his stomach. What a load of GARBAGE!! This bastard not only lied to my dead husband he has done everything in his power him along with the younger brother and bitch of a sister, to steal our share of the estate. Going as far as driving to my daughters house, ( she was estranged from her father n I a little over a year) more so bc of her bf than anything. She was always a little unstable mentally. She used to cut herself in highschool and had a lot of emotional issues. I was worried enough about her commiting suicide as I was bc she kept herself and our precious granddaughter away from us for a year, she never got the chance to make up with her dad before he passed. ( He wasn't sick or anything, it was totally unexpected) the guilt of it was a lot on her, then these bastards drive to her house and tries to convince her I said she was the reason her daddy died! I did NO such thing, hadn't even thought it. I blame myself if anyone for not seeing the signs better. They knew of her unstable mind. They didn't care. Took a huge risk with my daughters life over money. My husband and I were never that kind of ppl, money means little to us, as long as we have what we need, we could care less. My husband worked 20+ years welding to keep food on the table. We wanted the inheritance to give our children more stability and to afford some help for my son. He's severely autistic, non verbal and it's very difficult and stressful. We have never had any family to help or rely on so it's been pretty much just he n I since we were young. We married when I was 18 n he was 21. We pretty much just had each other, now that he's gone, it's been a terrible path I've been on. I was diagnosed with complicated grief disorder and PTSD. He started seizing and passed right in front of me. I had to watch my soulmate, my heart n soul die n I couldn't do a thing to stop it. As traumatized as I am, n those bastards didn't sway even a little, trying to steal my childrens rightful inheritance. I have even been harassed my son n I the last two times i went to our old place to grab my husbands mail. His brother Rocky had me escorted out of my own holler and threaten with trespassing! We lived there 20+ years with my husband. So now I'm battling n I'm already beat down enough mentally. I'm drowning in debt n need the money fast. Yet they don't let up. It will be a yr and a half since my father in law passed, and a yr this month since my husband passed, yet I'm still waiting n have heard nothing. No one will tell me anything either. I cannot afford an attorney bc I don't have close to 1500 to put down on one. Does anyone have advice for me please!! I could really really use it.

[incorrect-mha-bnha]

Can you post more on your feral Midoriya idea? Or even what its like to have 20 feral and traumatized children living together in one place under the watchful eyes on Mr "Im too tired to deal with my own mental breakdowns"?

Oh totally can dish a few things out. It will also dabble into the AU I made of Aizawa adopting Bakugo and Shinsou with Midoriya around a lot so let’s get into it.

Bakugo is not as bad in the morning compared to Izuku. Bakugo will bitch, grumping about it being cold because his body hasn’t fully woken up. Bakugo is only a morning person on his own accord. If he is woken up before 7 then his mind isn’t functioning until an hour later but anytime after 7 is safe. Midoriya however is like the spawn of hell himself with a stone in his shoe and chipping away patience. He refuses to get up before 10 on weekends. He stays up late most nights to train and that leaves him tired. He’s NOT a morning person in fact if you even tried to wake up Izuku before his self appointed alarm then his eyes are burning hateful slits, turning towards you slowly uttering a very low and strained “get. out.” Nobody likes waking him up.

Midoriya is NOT the type of have breakfast. He goes straight for coffee that Shinso made. He snatches it from the boys hand and starts drinking while Shinso is just staring in despair. Then Izuku hands it back, says thanks and leaves.

Shinsou obviously can’t sleep but he’s a night owl and takes it like a champ. At that point he’s been drained of all the energy to be agitated over not being able to sleep right. Some day it’s like a clock in and out for him and Aizawa. He comes downstairs, saying morning to Shinso, Shinso says night and heads upstairs to sleep.

Midoriya plays loud music at night when he’s really in the zone of training and working on stuff. Shinsou could care less and Bakugo learned to sleep through it.

Bakugo and Izuku instigate each other terribly and Aizawa knows it with ever growing grey hair. Bakugo will get hyped up on something and here comes Midoriya as the one who will take it a step further because he knows no bounds. If they are ever in an altercation, Bakugo will start swearing getting ready to fight but Izuku comes through to throw the first punch.

Midoriya has a tolerance level for everyone. I’d rate it as follows: classmates— 70%, Bakugo— varies but usually ranges around a nice 50%-0%, villains— 3%, villains who hurt kids— -194738384%.

Aizawa has grown to recognize when Izuku is about to snap so he can redirect the boy and save them all from casualties. I believe Izuku would take down an entire building while fighting a villain. However, it’s different to Bakugo consciously taking down buildings because he simply doesn’t care about destruction.. Izuku is dead set on bringing the villain down to the point he goes terminal.

Midoriya is on the edge of going crazy every second that passes. You can see it in his eyes, how they slowly grow fainter and tired. He isn’t necessarily losing his spark or drive.. the look hold experience and resolve. Also Murder.

Izuku is usually tense on any day but once he’s completely snapped all tension leaves his body and the boy kinda just tilts his head and squints.

Aizawa isnt too worried about them not behaving. They know well enough to not die nor murder... or so Izuku swears to comprehend. Yet there is always a chance of them forgetting and going off on their little adventures. Whether they be dangerous or just dumb teenage shit.

^ For example. Izuku had a sudden intense craving for ice cream at 3 am and broke out of sleep in a cold sweat. He gets up, goes downstairs and stands over Shinso who is laying upside on the couch and says nothing, just stares. Shinso looks at him and asks “what’s up?” with “ice cream. Store?” As an answer. To which Shinso of course pauses then nods and gets up. Now onto the next challenge; getting a driver. There are two in the house currently, one is sleeping and definitely will say no. And the other is convincible. So there they are standing over Bakugo in bed. The two boys share a look before shrugging and Izuku smacks him awake, not flinching as he swears and sets off tiny explosions.

Bakugo, half asleep: *holding his cheek* you asshole, what the fuck?

Izuku: *leaning practically in his face* drive us to the store. I desire ice cream.

Bakugo: *looks at time* it’s 3 in the goddamn morning, fuck no.

Izuku: *leans closer* if you don’t drive us to the store right now I’m going to tell everyone about the time when you cried yourself to sleep every night during middle school after that one incident.

Bakugo: *stares*

Izuku: *stares back*

Bakugo: get my keys.

Then there are three teenage boys, one half asleep and the other two bouncing off the walls in the ice cream section picking out flavors and toppings. And yes they were successful in leaving then arriving home but Aizawa was waiting for them in the living room with his arms crossed and foot tapping in disappointment. They got in deep shit that night but Izuku got off with just a reprimand after revealing he had gotten Aizawa’s favorite ice cream while they were out. Bakugo and Shinsou however were grounded.

[deceitfuldevil]

Hot and Cold

Pietro Maximoff X Reader

Summary: After defeating Ultron and getting the chance to formally meet the new avengers trainees, also known as the Maximoff twins, you became quite close to the pair in a short amount of time. Of course Wanda took an immediate liking to you for saving her brother's life, and Pietro took a liking to you for. . . other reasons. Wanda always called you two yin and yang, mostly because even though in many ways you two were total opposites, you were always around one another in some form or another. But your thing with Pietro started about two months into knowing him; you were always cold, and you soon came to realize he was always hot. The solution to this? Cuddling. Both of you expressed that it was completely platonic at the beginning, but as time went on you guys didn’t express this nearly as much. . . as your actions proved more and more romantic.

Warnings: mentions of nightmares & childhood trauma, briefly.

Word Count: 2,002 (my birth year:)

Same old, same old. You wake up sometime around 3am with a jolt, another nightmare. In the past few months they’d been about the usual topics, your traumatic childhood, losing your powers, and so on. But after a bad mission about 3 weeks ago, the nightmares have been almost purely your subconscious taunting you. Steve gave you hell on the way back, even called you sloppy. You didn’t go to training for a week afterwards because you were so depressed. Tonight’s nightmare involved you losing your powers and ultimately your entire team. The voices ringing out to you, “This is all your fault,” rang over and over until you woke up gasping for air. You sat up, and after catching your breath, you decided there was nothing better to do than get something to drink.

Taking a sip of the cool water only made you shiver more. Why did Tony line the whole kitchen with freezing marble floors? Taking another sip you looked over at the commons area and saw Pietro, shirtless, sitting in front of a fan watching a movie on the couch. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, and it was something he frequently did when he was too hot. Deciding to surprise him, you carefully walked up behind him on the couch and placed your freezing hands on his bare shoulders. But instead of jumping up and screaming at your touch like you thought he would, he sighed contently and mumbled out:

“Ahh, hello ledyanaya printsessa” (ice princess in Russian)

Although you didn’t speak Russian, you’ve learned a few key words from Pietro and his sister. Like dragâ meant dear, printsessa meant princess, dorogoy meant darling, and of course suka meant bitch. Beyond that if Pietro or Wanda said something you didn’t know, you’d either ask or use context clues to figure out what they were saying.

Although at first you were shocked he didn’t jump at your touch, you smiled to yourself as you used your cold hands to slowly massage Pietro’s broad shoulders; he groaned lowly as you slowly worked out the tension in his shoulders.

“Feels so good, dorogoy. But do you know what would feel even better?”

He questioned, his voice low and raspy, sending a chill down your spine. You only hummed in response, not trusting your voice to push out a solid reply.

“This.”

With one very quick motion he flipped you over from behind the couch and into his arms. His face was just a few inches from yours as he looked down and smiled at seeing a shocked expression on your face.

“What? You didn’t see that coming?” He grinned, his accent rich and thick as he said his now infamous line. Initially he just said it because it pissed Clint off, but soon it became his “catchphrase”.

But you didn’t respond, you just looked into his bright blue eyes. You felt your heart beating so hard, almost sure he could feel it too. You know what you wanted to do but didn’t know if you had the courage to do it.

Silently, Pietro gently brushed a hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear, and kept his rested hand on the side of your face. His eyes flicking from your eyes to your lips, you licked them to draw more attention to them and to see if he would do the same. But he one upped you and moved his face impossibly closer to yours, your lips now mere centimeters apart as his hot breath fanned over your face.

“Dragâ, have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” He inquired, his voice now a hushed whisper. You only shook your head a small yes in response.

He shook his head slightly and sighed. “Well have I ever... shown you?” He asked, gently caressing your face.

Your eyebrows stitched together in confusion. “Pietro what do you—“ but the words died in your throat as Pietro pressed his soft lips to yours in a tender kiss. Pulling away after a few seconds waiting for your reaction. You only opened your eyes and grinned as wide as the sun and placed your lips back onto his, more passionately this time.

For the rest of the night, kisses were shared almost everywhere. Pietro went the extra mile, and as he was giving you slow and soft kisses on your neck he said, “I should’ve *kiss* done that *kiss* sooner *kiss* ...no?” You giggled and turned his face towards yours and with your lips practically touching his.“Way sooner.” you said with a bright smile as you kissed him as you both slowly started to drift to sleep, not particularly caring or realizing the team would see you in the morning.

---

Later that day around 9 in the morning, F.R.I.D.A.Y awoke Tony with a message. “Good morning Mr. Stark, you owe Captain Rogers twenty dollars.” He tiredly laughed and said smugly, “oh do I? And why’s that F.R.I.D.A.Y?” “Because of the agreement made on March 6th, about 37 days ago,” and then F.R.I.D.A.Y played an audio of Steve and Tony talking about you and Pietro:

“Tony, you can’t tell me you don’t see the way those two kids look at each other.”

“Sorry Cap, I think they’re strictly businesses with each other.”

“Have you ever even seen the security camera records of them cuddling together late at night?” Steve asked.

“Okay now you’re pulling my leg old man.” Tony laughed.

“I’ll bet you $20 they’ll end up together within the next 90 days. If I’m wrong, I’ll pay you $40.”

“You’ve got a deal Rodgers... but you do know that’s just pocket change for me right?”

And with that, the audio clip F.R.I.D.A.Y was playing ended;Tony never rushed out of bed faster. He ran down to the main commons area where Nat, Clint, Wanda, and Steve were already gathered; they shushed him as he neared by. Clint and Nat already had their phones out taking pictures of the pair, who Tony looked at and sure enough, they were fast asleep cuddled in each other’s arms. He sighed as Steve nudged him and held out his hand. “So where’s that $20 you told me I’d never see?” Tony rolled his eyes and told Steve he’d be making a trip to the bank.

After a few more minutes of somewhat creepily watching the pair sleep Tony broke the silence and asked, “Okay, do we have enough pictures to blackmail them if needed? Because if so I’m waking them up.” Clint and Nat nodded and slowly stepped away. They assumed Tony would start blasting music or something to that effect. But instead he stood in front of you and Pietro and made sure to take pictures of you two with the flash ON... to wake you up in the most embarrassing way possible of course.

You were the first to notice the bright flashes of light in your face and groaned softly, thinking it was the sun and the first thing in the morning You turned your head over and called out to your cuddle buddy.

“Pietro... I think it’s morning.” He started to rub small circles on the small of your back as he slowly opened his eyes to see a gleeful Tony Stark with his phone camera inches from his face. He quickly looked around and saw the other avengers and even his sister.

“Sukas!!“ he shouted as he put his power to good use and in the blink of an eye, he picked you up and carried you to your room. Only then did you fully open your eyes to see Pietro holding you in his arms, a little breathless.

“What happened?” You asked tiredly.

“We slept in and well... the avengers caught us,” he said dreadfully, his voice still tired and thick with his accent you adored so much.

“Well at least we have nothing to hide from them now, right?” You tried to put a happy spin on the situation.

“They got pictures of us cuddling, dragâ.“

Your eyes blew open as you jumped down from Pietro’s arms and ran back down to the main commons area where now most of the facility was gathered and you guessed it... sharing pictures to one another.

“Whoever has ANY pictures of Pietro and I is to immediately delete them or face the consequences,” you said gleefully, but your words with true intentions. Only no one really took you seriously. In fact, Thor let out a small laugh and said, “What could a hero still in training do if we do keep such pictures?” A few others laughed along with him.

“No no I guess you’re right Thor, I’m only capable of doing things like this,” you said, catching him off guard and giving him a swift kick to the torso, knocking him over. You flipped him over and pinned his hands behind his back. Even Tony and Steve backed away, not thinking you had the power to pin down a literal GOD just quite yet.

“So, does anyone still have any pictures of us on their phones?” You said with a dangerous smile, thinking no one would doubt you now. But Clint was cocky and told you, “the only way you’re getting these pictures off of my phone is from my cold dead hands sweetheart” as he waved his phone in front of you. But before you could jump at him, a flash of blue light came flashing by and was now holding you back as you struggled to go after Clint for his comment.

Pietro whispered in your ear “he isn’t worth it darling,” slowly calming you down in the process. Eventually you stopped fighting Pietro’s grip on you and the urge to kick Clint in the face and turned away from the rest of the team to hug your new boyfriend. You and he started to slowly walk away from the team, but not without saying to Clint, “only I can call her sweetheart, Capeesh? Otherwise I’ll run circles around you while she does more than take those pictures off your phone, old man.”

The group let out a collective “ooohhh” as the two of you headed off back to your room. Tony broke the silence by saying, “so is no one going to mention that she just pinned Thor down like one of the test dummies?” But Thor only scoffed and claimed that you had caught him off guard, which everyone knew was a load of bullshit.

Back in your room, you and Pietro went back to cuddling and just talked about your feelings and what this all meant. But truth be told the whole conversation was mostly soft kisses amongst other things. For the first time in a very long time, you finally felt content, happy, and most of all, loved.

—

Hi everyone!! this is my first imagine of 2021 ahhh!! it’s only put out a day after when I posted my first imagine in 2020. Anyways I’m hoping this post will do well as I’ve never written for this character before... and he's not that popular since he's a little... dead. But we don't talk about that :) Since WandaVision has come out and *spoiler alert* Pietro has returned... somewhat, I’ve realized my appreciation for Age of Ultron Pietro... and fallen heads over heels for the dead man. I’ve rewatched Avengers: Age of Ultron three times in a row for the past three nights now, so it’s safe to say I’m a little mentally unstable. Okay now we’ve dived deeper than any of you care to hear. Anyways I hope you all enjoyed this imagine and constructive criticism and feedback is always welcomed!!

Much Love,

—Skyler

(2/15/21)

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

Look at me - Spencer Reid x fem! reader

A/N: I've written a lot of Hotch content recently and as much as I love it, I felt like I needed to get some Reid in there as well. This was a bit rushed so sorry if there are any mistakes in there. Enjoy:)

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of panic attacks/past trauma, toxic relationships

Word Count: 2462

***= time skip

Any details from a case are made up, not based on an actual episode.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

My mind is not something I ever thought I’d fear. I just assumed no matter how bad things got; I would be in control therefore it would never be anything I couldn’t handle. Even when I joined the BAU and was surrounded by harrowing cases all day, naively, I assumed I could keep on top of it. In case you hadn’t figured it out by now – I was wrong.

**********************************************************************

We all collapsed into our respective seats on the jet, none of us saying anything. This case had been particularly brutal, and it took a lot out of us. We had nothing to talk about besides the events of the past few days and no one wanted to think about it more than necessary. I took the first window seat I saw, grabbing a blanket and curling into myself. The sun was beginning to set and watching it above the clouds would bring me some sense of peace. As cliché as it sounds, being above the clouds and watching the light slowly sink beneath causing there to be an orangey glow – everything felt so quiet, so calm. As if I was untouchable, like nothing bad could reach me. As I starred out of the window, I couldn’t quite get comfortable. Normally after cases, I was able to fall asleep roughly half an hour into the journey home, but something was keeping me up. This must have shown on my face as I felt as soft jab to my side, breaking me from my thoughts.

“You good pretty girl?” Morgan asked, leaning on the edge of my seat.

“Hm? Yeah I’m all good. Just can’t sleep.” I said offering a small smile.

“I feel you. I’ve been trying since I sat down but I guess today just isn’t our day.” He replied sighing. “You need a drink or anything?”

“Nah I’m okay. Thanks though.”

“No problem gorgeous. Hope your able to drift off soon.” He said before heading to the back for a drink. I sighed, turning my body to face the window once again. But before I was able to get lost in my thoughts yet again, Spencer sat down in front of me. His brow was furrowed as his eyes scanned over me.

“You okay there?” I chuckled looking over at him.

“I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about.” He replied matter of factly. I raised my eyebrow at him as I shifted to face him a little better.

“May I ask why?” I said in a light-hearted tone.

“Because you can’t sleep.” He stated. I wasn’t sure how to respond to that so I stayed silent, allowing him to continue. “You always fall asleep. You sit by the window, you curl up, and your asleep within 20 minutes. The only time you don’t is if someone’s talking to you. But no ones spoken to you until just now and your still awake.” He explained. I starred at him, in slight shock. “S-so I think what I’m trying to figure out is what’s keeping you awake? And see if you’re okay?” He concluded, suddenly looking rather nervous as if he was worried he’d overstepped.

“Look I’m sorry just pretend I didn’t say anything.” He said going to stand up. “

No hey it’s fine. I’m just surprised you noticed that’s all.” I replied quickly.

“Of course I did, I care about you.” I’m not sure why but that simple sentence caused my heart to flutter. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve always appreciated the fact that Spencer is attractive (even if he doesn’t believe it) but I’ve never thought of him in a romantic light. Since I’ve joined the BAU, we’ve always been able to lean on each other no matter what the situation. There was just something about us that clicked almost perfectly, there was nothing I couldn’t tell him. And even though we constantly got teased about being together, I’d never even considered it.

“Your right though, something is keeping me up.” I admitted, leaning back into my seat.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Spencer offered, copying my actions.

“Yeah I’d love to. I just don’t know what it is. There’s something making me feel, I don’t know, uncomfortable I guess? But I haven’t got a clue what.” I rubbed my head as I spoke, feeling the beginning of headache starting to form.

“Oh.” He replied shortly. I could tell he was trying to figure out what it could be, but it was no use. “Is there anything I can do?” He asked. I smiled at him but shook my head.

“I’m afraid not pretty boy, I’m sure it’s nothing. Was just a hard case you know” He nodded.

“Well, if you remember, o-or even if you don’t and you just wanna talk, you know you can always come and find me.” Once again, I felt my heart flutter. Why was he making me feel this way all of a sudden?

“Thank you Spence. You too.” The rest of the journey went pretty smoothly. I didn’t fall asleep but for the most part, the uncomfortable feeling left me alone.

********************************************************************

“Okay guys, head home get some rest. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” Hotch said as we made our way out of the parking lot. We all called out to each other before jumping in our cars and made our ways home. Even now, something was playing on my mind, and it was starting to piss me off. You’d think I’d be able to remember something that was bugging me this much. I tried to push it from my thoughts as I flopped onto my bed. I was so worn out I couldn’t even be bothered to change, I just wrapped myself up under my duvet and prayed that sleep would find me soon.

********************************************************************

“Come on y/n, you’re overreacting. You know I only did it because I love you.”

“How the fuck am I overreacting? I never remember asking you to bash someone’s head into the sidewalk out of LOVE”

“You know what? This is your fault. You made me do this.”

“I MADE you?”

“If you didn’t hang out with him dressed like such a slut I wouldn’t have had to do anything.”

“You’re joking right? God your fucking insane.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why not? Does it hurt your feelings?”

“Shut up you bitch.”

“I’m done with this. I’m done with you. I should have never gone out with you. I’m leaving”

“No you’re not.”

“Dan I swear to fuck if you don’t let go of my hand I am calling the police.”

I jerked upright. My skin was damp with a cold sweat. My heart was hammering against my ribcage. My head was spinning. I couldn’t breathe. The sheets clung to me as scrambled out of my bed and headed for the front door. My mind was scrambled, I couldn’t stay at home. There was only one place I knew I’d feel safe. I pulled my shoes back on and ran out my front door before I begun sprinting down the road. I didn’t trust myself to drive right now.

******************************************************************

As I walked up the stairs of the apartment complex, very much out of breath, I begun second guessing my idea. It was literally 3 in the morning. But before I could convince myself otherwise, I raised my hand to knock on his door. I shouldn’t be here. He was probably asleep. Just as I turned to leave, the door swung open.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” A very dishevelled looking Spencer asked.

“Um yeah, no I just- I’m sorry I shouldn’t have woken you” I replied, fidgeting with my hands.

“It’s fine I’d actually fallen asleep on the sofa, so you did me a favour if anything.” He said with a soft chuckle. I couldn’t focus on his words, my mind still spinning. I could feel my breathing begin to quicken again. I was losing it.

“Hey, what’s going on?” His voice sounded muffled, as if he wasn’t stood right in front of me.

“I-I can’t breathe” I stammered. My legs felt as if they were about to give way. Before I could do anything else, I felt spencer wrap his arms around me and walk me into his apartment. He moved me to the sofa before closing the door and sitting down in front of me.

“What’s going on? Please I want to help but I need you to talk to me.” His voice sounded sincere. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my thoughts.

“I-I knew him.” I stammered, my hands trembling.

“Knew who?” He asked gently.

“I dated him. I don’t remember him being violent but then this one time- oh god. It’s my fault. I did this. T-they died because of me.” By this point, tears were streaming steadily down my face.

“What? Y/N who died? What do you mean you knew him?”

“THE FUCKING UNSUB SPENCER” I yelled, hysterically. I ran my fingers through my hair frantically. “I dated him. Ages ago. I don’t know how I didn’t recognise him. I think, no no I know, I was his stressor.” I explained, breathing heavily. Spencer starred at me. You know it’s bad when you render the boy genius himself speechless. “There was this guy I was friends with at the time, while I was dating Dan.”

“The unsub?” He cut in.

“Yes. Anyway, I’d been friends with this guy before I’d met dan, but they’d never liked each other. And then one night, I’d gone out. It was some sort of occasion, like a celebration thing I don’t know it’s all a bit fuzzy. I was wearing a dress and it wasn’t anything too bad, but it was showing off a decent amount of skin. I don’t really know how but dan turned up where we were and beat the living crap out of my friend. He ended up going to hospital. But that was the last time I saw dan, I left him that night. That has to of been his stressor.” I concluded, resting my head against the back of his sofa.

“You know it’s not uncommon for the brain to repress traumatic memories. That would explain why you didn’t recognise him and why you don’t remember everything, even now. You were most likely in such a toxic, stressful relationship with him that your mind didn’t know how to handle it. So instead of causing you more pain by trying to make sense of it all, it simply pushed those memories back far enough until you’d essentially forgotten that part of your life.” Spencer explained. What he was saying made sense, I didn’t like it, but it made sense. I could barely remember my relationship with him. All the details were jumbled up in my head. “When we brought him in, seeing him in the station must have triggered you to remember him. Or at least parts of it.” I nodded at his words.

“Most likely.” I mumbled. I still couldn’t shake the thought that I’d caused all of this. The pain the victims went through, their families, their friends all because of me. As if he could read my mind spencer spoke up yet again.

“Stop blaming yourself. This isn’t your fault.”

“It is though. If I hadn’t-“

"It’s a chemical thing y/n. That part of him was always there, it just takes a certain situation to cause it to snap. I know it’s hard, but you have to remember that you did not cause this.” His words provided me a slight comfort. Not much, but enough for me to drop the subject.

“I’m sorry to have put all this on you this late.” I mumbled.

“Don’t be. I’m glad you felt you could talk to me about this.” He replied, shifting so he was sitting next to me rather than in front. We sat in a comfortable silent for a few moments, enjoying each other’s company. I tried to stifle a yawn but failed miserably.

“How did you get here? I didn’t see you with any car keys when you came in.” Spencer asked softly.

“I ran.” I admitted, to tired to lie.

“You ran? You live like 3 blocks away.” He said, surprised.

“I was just so shaken up I didn’t think I could drive.” I reasoned.

“You should’ve called me; I would have picked you up.” He replied gazing at me. I felt my stomach flip. I’m not sure if it was the lack of sleep, or the fact that I was only now realising how much he cared for me, but in that moment I felt nothing but love for spencer. I studied his facial features for a second, appreciating how attractive he really was. The way his eyes shone constantly with eagerness and knowledge. The way his brows twitched slightly if something confused him. My eyes eventually travelled down to his lips. They looked so soft and inviting. Suddenly, I found myself consumed by the desperate urge to kiss him.

“You’ve always been there for me you know spencer? I can’t tell you how much you mean to me.” I said softly. He looked slightly taken back by my words, but his lips curled up into a small smile.

“You mean a lot too me too. More than I could try to describe.” Before we realised what was happening, we found ourselves leaning closer into each other.

“Spence I-“ But he swiftly cut me off, cupping my face in his hands and pulled his lips to meet mine. My arms found their way round his neck as I laced my fingers into the back of his hair. He held me carefully, as if he was scared he was going to lose me. The kiss was gentle, but it spoke a million words for the both of us. When we eventually pulled away, he kept his hands where the were as he slowly caressed my cheek with his thumb. We didn’t say anything, we didn’t have too. We both knew where we stood and what this meant for us. I just smiled at him, feeling like a lovesick teenager. Eventually he layed back on the sofa, pulling me on top of him. I felt him wrap his arms around my waist protectively as I cuddled closer to him. I’d never felt more at peace than I did in that moment. It didn’t take long for me to start drifting off yet again, with the rhythmic beat of spencer’s heart and the feeling of him tracing small patterns on my back. I felt him press a kiss to my head.

“Sleep well. I won’t let anything happen to you ever again. I love you.” He whispered, just as I slipped away into the darkness of sleep.

[my-emotional-self]

Toxic Love Chapter 7

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes

Summary: Finding out your soulmates were Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes was one thing.  But when someone from your past comes back to haunt you, you have to figure out if a relationship with two super soldiers is something you really want to pursue or if you’d rather go back to your comfortable single life.

Series Warnings:  18+, Swearing, Angst, Fluff, past mentions of rape, self-harm, attempted rape, domestic violence, stalking, death threats, possible Dark!Steve?, Steve will be an asshole a LOT in this series but I don’t know how dark it will get, explicit sexual content, mental health issues, kind of A/B/O dynamics but not really (no they are not actual wolves, more like the hierarchy), mentions of suicide, flashbacks of suicide, nightmares

A/N: There will be no taglist for this story!  I apologize in advance!

8 Years Ago – Age 17

“Y/N, do you know why you are here?” the shrink asked from across the large desk.  You looked down at the typical uniform of a patient at a psychiatric ward.  Yes you knew why you were in here.  A few months ago you witnessed your father’s dead corpse hanging in your living room.  The next thing you knew you were writing a suicide note of your own and your foster parents found it before you could do anything.  Now, you were stuck in a psych ward, probably until you at least turned 18.

“Yep,” came your short response.  

The shrink glanced down at her papers in front of her, going through all of your notes.  “We want to help you as best we can Y/N.  You’ve been through some very traumatic experiences in your life and you’ve witnessed a great deal.  We are going to get you all the help you need.”

3 Months Later

“Have you heard of Borderline Personality Disorder Y/N?” your psychiatrist, Dr. Wang asked.  

That made your head snap in her direction.  Here you were, still stuck in the psych ward after three months and you weren’t sure why.  “I’ve heard of that, yes.  But I thought I was just depressed,” you mumbled, chewing on your fingernail.  

You were clinically diagnosed with depression shortly after coming here.  

“Well, that’s what we originally thought at first.  But the longer you’ve spent time here, the more I and the rest of the staff have discovered it is BPD.  You’re intense mood swings, combined with your ongoing feelings of emptiness and the intense bouts of anger you have are all signs of BPD. We are going to switch up your medications and that will really help with your mood swings and anger issues.

~~~

 No matter how hard you tried, sleep never came to you that afternoon.  You tossed and turned all afternoon in your bed and nothing seemed to be working.  Not only that, but you were really starting to get more irritable as the day went on and you knew it was time to change the dosing of your medication.  It was like clockwork, every year to year and a half. The only problem was that you couldn’t leave the tower without Steve, Bucky or an anyone else.  How were you supposed to get an appointment with your Psychiatrist if you couldn’t leave the tower alone?  This only increased your anger and frustration as you got out of bed to get ready.    

You brushed your teeth and put on a some jeans and a t-shirt, not really caring what you threw on. All of the specific clothing you wore for work was in the closet of your game room along with your makeup and accessories.  

Upon leaving your room, you saw Steve and Bucky sitting at the island in the kitchen of your shared apartment.  They both looked deep in thought over some paperwork and you assumed it was for work.

Grabbing a bottle of water from the kitchen, you were about to head into the elevator as you didn’t want to disturb them, but Steve spoke up and caught your attention.  “Where are you off to?”

“Oh, umm, I’m heading down to my game room.  I’m going to work tonight,” you mumbled out as you pressed the button for the elevator. You noticed it was on the ground floor and it would take a few minutes to get to your level.  

“What time do you plan on being done?” Steve questioned.  

You huffed in annoyance, already irritated as anger began to creep through your bones.  “I don’t know.  Whenever I get done,” you snapped.  Immediately you felt regret, but sometimes your emotions got the better of you when you were in dire need of a medication change.  

“Hey, what’s with the attitude?” Steve commanded as he got up from his seat and stalked over to you, hands on his hips.  You noticed Bucky looking at you from his seat with furrowed brows.  They had never seen you angry like this.  You were always so compliant and easy going.  

“Look, I’m sorry.  I’m just tired is all.”

Steve looked at you sharply, his lips in a thin tight line.  “Alright.  Just make sure you get to bed at a reasonable time tonight.  Promise?”

“I promise,” you answered back.  

~~~

In the comfort of your game room, you quickly got to work.  Digging through your closet, you decided on a light pink tank top that said ‘Gamer Girl’ in black letters with two gamer controls on it.  Since your webcam only showed your top half, you threw on a black pair of cotton shorts to be comfortable.  

Next, you put your hair up in space buns, making sure they were situated just right so they wouldn’t be in the way of your headphones.  You put on your typical game night makeup: bright pink eyeshadow with dark smoked out liner, some mascara and blush and you were good to go.  

Turning on your monitor, you began to power everything up and once that was done, you logged in. Immediately your followers started putting in their messages off to the side and you smiled as you read them. You always tried to read as much of them as you could.  

As the night went on, you knew you should pack it up and listen to what Steve said; getting to bed at a descent time and getting rest.  But you were having way too much fun tonight and so were your followers. It was one of the best nights you’d had in months and not just money wise.  

Ignoring the clock you continued to play and interact with your followers with the microphone that was attached to your headphones.  Every so often you would glance to your messages box and see what some of them had said.  Most of them were cheering you on but of course you always had some haters in there as well.  

It was when you noticed the screen name of one of them that made your blood run cold.  JSmith20. ‘It can’t be’ you thought to yourself, trying to keep as composed as possible as hundreds of people were watching you game in this very moment.  

John’s last name is Smith and he always told you how his favorite number was 20, because that was how old you were when you met him.  No, but he’s still in prison.  He hasn’t gotten out.  He’ll be in there for many more years to come.  It had to be one of his friends right?  The same friend that had been delivering those letters to your old apartment.  ‘Yes, that’s right.  It’s just one of his friends trying to torment you’ you thought to yourself.  

Then, the person behind that screen name typed a message into your message box.  

Hey babe.  Do you miss me yet?  I can’t wait to see you – J

Yep, your composure went out the window reading the message.   Then another message from him popped up.  

I see you are no longer living in that little one bedroom apartment.  Did you really think you could up and move and I wouldn’t be able to find you?  Oh babe, how cute.  I will find you and we will meet again soon.  I promise – J

As you stared at the words on your screen, you heard groans from the other players on your team.  You had just lost the game.  

“Shit,” you swore, anger bubbling up inside of you.  “Fucking damnit!”  You slammed your fist on the desk.  

You rarely lost games. Losing always put you in a foul mood. But because of already being irritable and your emotions on over drive, losing just made everything worse.  

Looking at the clock it was just before five in the morning so you logged off and shut everything down.

You took your hair out of the buns, immediately feeling the tension in your head ease.  Ever so quietly, you opened the door and poked your head out into the hallway.  It was bitch black so you used your phone as a flashlight and tiptoed to the elevator. Before pressing the button on the elevator, you paused.  What if the noise of the elevator woke up Steve or Bucky?  You had promised Steve that you would get to bed at a descent time and seeing as it was just about five in the morning, well, you kind of figured you’d be in trouble.  

Instead, you opened the door to the stairs which was situated right next to the elevator.  At least taking the stairs would be much quieter.

You climbed the stairs up a few levels until you reached your living level and you waited on baited breath for a few moments.  Nothing. Nothing but silence.  As quiet as a mouse, you snuck through the door and dashed to your room, thanking your lucky stars that the palm scanner didn’t make any noise.  

You took a nice hot shower, washing off all of your makeup and the stress of the last few hours.  As much as you wanted to forget John messaging you, it wasn’t going to happen, neither was any sleep.  

Rather than even bothering to get into bed and try to relax, you sent an email to your psychiatrist letting her know that you would more than likely need a dose change on your medications.  Frantically typing away at the email, you explained how you were beginning to get irritated and it was harder for you to control your bouts of anger.  

Luckily for you, Dr. Wang was an early bird and she emailed you right back.  She wanted you to come see her for an appointment and your heart immediately dropped.  That wasn’t going to happen as one of your rules was that you weren’t allowed out of the tower by yourself.  And as much as you liked Darcy, you couldn’t trust her to go with you and not say anything to Steve or Bucky.  

Typing out your reply, you explained that you were unfortunately not able to meet in person and if there was anything else that could be done.  After you hit sent, you began to pace in your apartment, clearly on edge with everything going on.  You just wanted to feel better; you hated feeling this way.  It was as if you weren’t in control of your body and you definitely weren’t in control of your emotions.  

A notification came through your laptop and you rushed towards it, almost tripping over your feet. As you read her words, you could have cried right then and there.  She had agreed to a phone call appointment and she had time right now to discuss things with you.  

Grasping your phone, you dialed her number.

“It’s good to hear from you Y/N,” Dr. Wang stated as she answered the phone.  

“Oh Dr. Wang it is so good to hear your voice.”

She let out a soft chuckle. “Yes, it has been a little over six months since we’ve last spoken.  How are things going with you?”

“Where to begin,” you started off saying.  You let her know that you indeed met your soulmates and had moved in with them. You went over the rules that Steve had given you and she made you feel better as she stated she had seen way worse rules.  Hell, she said your rules were like a walk in the park compared to some she has heard.

“Alright, now, let’s get down to business.  How are you feeling these past few days?” she asked curiously.  

“Ugh, not good. Moving was stressful but I have been feeling really irritated over the last few and I’ve had a few bouts of anger rush through me that makes me want to punch something, but I’ve luckily been able to hold back on that.”

“What about any risky behaviors such as reckless driving, spending sprees, binge eating, drug abuse or sabotaging anything positive in your life?”

“Not yet,” you stated. You knew the routine.  She was going over all the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder to see what has changed with you.  

“Ok good.  How about any intense fears of abandonment or rejection?”

That question always hit you like a punch to the gut.  The only reason you had stayed with John for so long was because of that right there. He purposely wouldn’t let you see Dr. Wang or he wouldn’t take you to get your medications refilled and because of that, you were starting to feel those feelings; not wanting to be abandoned no matter what.  

“Nope,” you replied.  

“Ok then.  I am going to increase the dosing on your current medications but I want to warn you.  Without you coming in and personally seeing me and without getting some blood work done, I don’t know how well this dosing is going to work, if it will work at all. We might need to discuss changing the medication all together,” she stated.  

“I understand Dr. Wang. And do you think maybe you could prescribe some sort of sleep medication for me too?”

“I can prescribe a one week trial of a sleeping medication for you.  After that, I really need you to try and come see me in the office and we can discuss that further.  Now, did you want me to send these prescriptions into your regular pharmacy?”

“Yes, that would be great. Thank you so much Dr. Wang.”

“No worries at all Y/N. Give the office a call and get an appointment set up.”

“I will.  Thanks again.”

Now that you had your medications all taken care of, you had to figure a way to leave the tower so you could get them.  

[khaleesiofalicante]

OK I GOT 5 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT WHICH IS PRETTY OK IG (I did stay up to read the fic-) BOTH MY TESTS WENT LIKE SHIT, I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK IN PROGRAMMING CLASS BECAUSE BY TEACHER IS A LITTLE SHIT WHO KEPT ON YELLING AT ME WHEN I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING AND I SPENT LUNCH ALONE BUT AT LEAST NOW IM ALONE WITH MY LAPTOP SO YAYAYAYYA

first of all, this chapter right here is my comfort chapter from now on. i said what i said. I will be rereading it again and again just because i can. it was PERFECTION

here's me going crazy at 2 am yesterday.

MAGNUS' CHAPTER

LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO

AHHHHHHH IT'S THEIR ANNIVERSARY

SCREAM

oh

alec shaved his beard because it made him look older

RAFAEL WAS SO UPSET AFTER THE MEXICO ATTACK BECAUSE OF ANJALI RIGHT??

magnus and alec are the oblivious parents istg

“Are you decent?” Max yelled. “I don’t want to be traumatized again.”

“Hey! We agreed not to talk about that!” Alec yelled back.

Im not even surprised at this point

“Happy anniversary, bapa!” Rafael kissed him on the cheek and handed him the flowers.

“Where are my flowers?” Alec asked.

Rafael plucked a rose from the bouquet and threw it at Alec. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, son,” Alec mumbled.

IM WHEEZING

DAVID BAKES

“David made it,” Max said shyly. "

Oh,” Alec replied and then shrugged. “Well, the icing could be a little sweeter I think.”

Ever since Max started dating, Alec had become incredibly protective. Alec liked David of course – it was impossible to find someone who didn’t. But that didn’t mean Alec approved.

And it didn’t help that the blond boy was absolutely terrified of Alec.

ALEC STOP TEASING HIM

THE BOY IS ALREADY SCARED

“I don’t know,” Alec analysed the card. “David used too much glitter.”

“Since when do you have a problem with excessive glitter?” Max demanded.

ALEC

“I didn’t use him!” Max huffed. “He was thoroughly compensated for his efforts!”

“Compensated how?” Alec asked.

“Uh,” Max said. “With donuts.”

when i saw donuts i immediately thought of rose and luisa from jtv

iykyk

but should i continue the show? i got tired of jane continuously embarrasing herself

“You expect us to follow rules?” Alec asked in surprise. “In our own home? On our anniversary?”

The warlock boy grinned wickedly before leaning close to Alec.

“You better do it, or I will tell everyone about your secret,” Max whispered.

Alec blinked at that.

the secret...

I DONT LIKE HOW MANY THINGS POPPED INTO MY HEAD

is highschool musical that bad? i havent watched it. should i?

what if i cried

i just wanna hug alec??? but i cant say it'll be ok because it wont

“Is that why you are not attending?” Magnus grinned at his friend. “Or is it because you are terrified of Georgia?”

“That child is the reincarnation of Christopher Lightwood!” Ragnor complained. “I heard she made explosives out of demon ichor! Who makes explosions out of demon ichor?”

RAGNOR IS PROBABLY GETTING FLASHBACKS

THESE STUPID FUCKING BITCHES

how tf do you think we have survived huh??

medicine that's how

vaccines, anti biotics and what not

stop being close-minded and fucking do it

ok i know the risk is great

BUT OTHERWISE THEY ALL DIE

it was different for warlocks. The Shadow World was their universe. The nephilim kept it safe. At one point in their lives, they had learned to coexist with them, out of necessity and out of obligation.

And now here they were – working together in the name of friendship and love.

how things change...

what

say what

the causes are what

ok let's not jump to conclusions

im fucking crying wtf

alec doesnt deserve this shit

all he's done is make the world a better place

hes worked so hard on this

RAZIEL CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF

what am i supposed to say to my parents if one of them comes to check on me and im sitting here crying at 2 am

He didn’t want to believe in a reality that would punish Alec. Alec who only wanted to do what is good and right.

Alec was who was losing his hope and strength every passing day. Alec who was struggling. Alec who was turning to desperate measures to cope with all the stress.

please alec

no please

THE ANGELS ARE BITCHES

Because if Magnus found out Raziel was the one causing all this pain for Alec, he would march up to heaven and set the bastard on fire himself.

AND I'LL GO WITH HIM

KNEW THE SPY WAS LIVVY

AWW RAGNOR LIKES SELENA THATS SO SWEET

blue and gold

STOP IT IM CRYING AGAIN

The shadowhunter was a good influence on him. Magnus hoped Alec would see it sooner rather than later.

HUH

HUHU

HUH

omg

GIGI GETTING A SIBLING

“Max isn’t allowed to do a lot of things,” Magnus chuckled. “But he does them anyway.”

thats my boi

GASP

]THE NECKLACE

rafael is growing into the consul voice

they grow up so fast

nope nope he's still the little 5 year old

voice cracking what do you mean he's 20

im glad hes happy with mila. or is he...?

Magnus had deduced as much. Alec lived in his beautifully oblivious world. But Magnus noticed.

He noticed the hickeys. He noticed the late-night visits. He noticed the tense phone calls.

well thank god there's at least one non-oblivious person (alec i love you so much but you are very very oblivious)

“What’s stopping you then?” Magnus asked.

"2554 miles,” Rafael chuckled sadly.

me with all my online friends

probably more miles

Magnus tried to do the math but promptly gave up.

me

But Alec did lie though. Magnus pushed the thought away.

NOT NOW

LET ME LIVE IN PEACEFUL OBLIVION

HUSH

“Except melt it?” Rafael chuckled.

“Yes,” Magnus chuckled back. “As you can see, the bar is extremely low in the Lightwood family.”

AHHIUCCDSKUHDCV

i have no clue what the words describing the outfit are

time to google

OK PRETTY

Fifteen years. Fifteen years of loving and Alec still made his heart stutter.

dont do this to me right now I WILL CRY

“What the hell?” Max exclaimed. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s my anniversary,” Alec chuckled.

Max-

Fifteen years. Fifteen years and Magnus still took Alec’s breath away.

HJCSDHJBJDHSGCDYGJVVC JHVDFYMJ

it's not funny MY EYES ARE WATERING

“Bapak is a good looking one in the family,” Rafael pointed out. “You are the chaotic one and I am the smart one.”

“What am I then?” Alec asked dryly. “A sack of potatoes?”

“You’re the sexy one,” Magnus grinned. “A sexy sack of potatoes.”

yes.

Alec grinned back and leaned forward. Magnus put his hands around Alec’s neck and kissed him. He kissed Alec with all the love he had inside his heart.

Just like the first time. Just like the hundredth time. Just like the thousandth time.

Because with Alec, every kiss mattered. Every single one.

muffled sob

“Stop making out, oh my god!” Max groaned.

Magnus sensed a pillow coming their way but Rafael caught it before it hit them.

“Max, stop!” Rafael scolded. “You will wrinkle dad’s suit and ruin bapak’s hair! I spent hours ironing both!”

why is max me when i see people display affection in front of me

ALSO RAFAEL HKUIUIDCSKIHUDFVHJDFVHU

“They are here,” Rafael said. “You two better look exactly the way you did when I left with Max or I will raise hell.”

IM SCREAMING

Selena was wearing a blue crop top with the words “MIND YOUR OWN UTEREUS” written in gold.

i need that top

DAVID'S SHIRT IS THE COLOR OF MAX'S MAGIC

AHH ISABELLE DOESNT KNOW SHE'S PREGNANT YET

The argument of “who gave the best gift” had started when Jace and Izzy had gotten drunk on vodka. It didn’t help that Alec had gotten drunk as well. All three Lightwood siblings had then proceeded to have an argument about who had the best spouse. The whole night had been drunken chaos. Magnus, Clary and Simon had let them have it since the Lightwood siblings had a tendency to carry the world on their shoulders even when nobody asked them. They rarely ever let loose ever since their worlds had plunged into sickness and demon attacks. Especially Alec. So, Magnus had let his husband be that 18-year-old boy again. The boy who got drunk and fought with his siblings and sang songs about Magnus’ pretty eyes.

OH MY GOD THE CHAOS

Georgia considered that. “I’m not allowed to melt it, right?”

“No,” they all replied in chorus.

LET GIGI MELT IT

SELENA IM SO PROUD OF YOU

“Dad,” Max said. “Can you keep a picture of me wearing this necklace in your office?”

“Why?” Rafael asked.

“I think it will piss off the boomers,” Max giggled.

“Nice!” Lexi grinned. “A downworlder wearing a shadowhunter heirloom? They will lose their heads. Uncle Alec, you must do it.”

“I will do you one better. I will hang a tapestry,” Alec chuckled.

YASSS I CANT WAIT FOR THE SHADOWHUNTERS TO BE PISSED

AWW THEY DIDNT KNOW THE NECKLACE USED TO BELONG TO MAGNUS

he actually gave to camille first-

Why couldn’t this boy just cause chaos during his travel year like the rest of them? Why did he actually study and do his research as recommended?

why would you NOT study and research during your travel year????

oh shit

well well well

david bby stfu

i love you but pls stop speaking for all our sakes

“Holy shit,” Max said. “It is expensive then!”

“Don’t pawn the ruby!” Rafael warned.

MAX NO-

OH THE STONE COMES FROM EDOM

oh no

pls dont fight

oh so i was wrong about magus confronting him from that snippet

all you need to know is im sobbing right now and grammarly is the only thing making this coherent

dont mind me just

NO I FORGOT ABOUT MAX AND DAVID

GET BACK IN THE ROOM YOU IDIOTS

don't do this to me at 3 am

OK THE DILF PART

thank you for adding light into my life again

(me while editing this: today really isn't my day huh? i just slipped in rainwater outside my balcony because I heard rain and ran there. now my knee and back hurt and I think I sprained (?) my toe-

ANYWAY

wait im gonna go check out the rain and then continue editing this

ok i got bored of the rain)

that made me laugh through my tears

“Objectively good looking?” Jace snorted. “Excuse you, but my parabatai is smoking hot! He is a freaking prize, okay? If we had a magazine for hot shadowhunters, you would be on the cover page. Every single issue.”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Alec interrupted. “Magnus, are you happy? Now all my friends have told me I am pretty.”

“I said smoking hot,” Jace corrected.

“We are not being biased,” Clary pointed out. “It is the general consensus, Alec.”

“It’s true,” Lexi said. “So many people have asked me for your number, Uncle Alec. And I would have given it to them if I wasn’t worried about being turned into a marshmallow.”

LEXI DUHDUGHUDFCUHKVDFUIKFDU

“Dad, I don’t know why you are so worried,” Max said in a bored tone. “You’re a told DILF.”

David choked on his champagne and Jace patted him on the back.

“What the hell is a DILF?” Alec demanded.

“Oh, I know this one!” Jace said excitedly. “It means Dashing and Irresistible Looking Father. Max is right, you are a total DILF.”

“Mr. Herondale-” David raised a hand.

“I heard one of the shadowhunters in their travel year calling me a DILF too,” Jace said proudly.

THAT IS NOT WHAT DILF MEANS OH MY GOD

“It’s not a rumour,” Selena spoke up and passed her phone. “There is a group chat at Scholomance just to thirst after you.”

add me to it

ALL THE COMMENTS I CANT BREATHE

“Alec Lightwood can run me over with a Maserati and I would thank him.”

“Give me that,” Izzy grabbed the phone and started giggling. “Petition for Consul Alec Lightwood-Bane to stab me with his mortal sword.”

“Isabelle!” Alec hissed, cheeks flaming. “Stop it!”

“I want one!” Jace grabbed the phone now. “By the Angel!”

“Read it!” the kids yelled in chorus.

“I would gladly let Consul Lightwood-Bane inspect my mortal instruments,” Jace chuckled and threw the phone at David.

David shook his head vehemently and threw it at Max.

“My body is just a hole for Alec Lightwood,” Max read out loud and started laughing so hard that he fell off his chair.

Lexi grabbed the phone and giggled. “I want the Consul to strip off my runes among other things.”

She passed the phone to Gigi, who looked at the phone and look at Alec.

“Uncle Alec,” the girl said. “This person wants you to crush them with your massive archer arms.”

“Give me that,” Rafael grabbed it now. “Aw, this one is a classic, dad. Alec Lightwood turned me gay.”

He threw the phone at Simon, who stared the screen and looked up. “Uh, I don’t think I can read this one out loud in front of the kids.

“Is this the one about the basement?” Selena chuckled and Simon nodded.

WHAT'S THE BASEMENT ONe

TELL ME

AWW GIGI AND LEXI PUTTING MAKEUP ON DAVID AND MAX RECORDING IT

google translator time

oooo Rafael's gonna talk with Mila

Magnus you're such a good father

seriously

“Sometimes things are just sad. So, you need to let yourself be sad.”

YES

SAY IT LOUDER

THEY ARE UNDER THE BED

AHHH MAX AND DAVID

DAVID CALLED HIM MY ANGEL IN FRENCH

Alec and Magnus hiding under the bed and spying on them is just-

Jace had tried to give Max the shovel talk and had gotten a little too emotional.

of course, he did smh I love him so much

“David doesn’t need a shovel talk,” Alec smiled. “He knows what would happen to him if he hurts my son.”

David gulped. “You will throw me into the silent city?”

“I will ask me husband to portal you to hell,” Alec said – Consul Voice. “We have relatives there.”

the beloved relatives yes

“Goodnight,” Jace gave them a salute. “Have fun inspecting Magnus’ mortal instruments.”

JACE

OH SO THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT SMOKING

damn it

oh my god guys he said he'll stop smoking

just lemme have this moment

my boy's lungs will be intact

HIS LUNGS WILL BE OK

“I can’t wait to see all the messages on the chat after that,” Magnus giggled.

Alec looked up. “I’m more than a tall glass of water, Magnus!”

SCREAMING

In his dream, he saw them again. But they weren’t smiling this time.

what

wait

THE PROPHETIC DREAMS

nope nope nope

Nah I don't know what you're talking about

haha

damn, I think I really hurt my back...

OK BUT THE IMMORTALITY ANGST???? WAS SO SO GOOD???? I know it makes me cry but is it bad that I'm always so excited for angst written by you because of HOW GOOD it is????

"When I die I will love you from my grave" I NEED THIS ON MY FOREHEAD OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH

alright I need to get something for my back and my knee (I'm home alone so this will be fun)

OK, I THINK THE NEXT CHP WILL BE ANJALI'S POV I JUST FEEL IT!!! I miss my girl so much I hope she's doing ok. Jaime too...

I'm rereading all of these chapters after chapter 10 because why not. Bye!!

OKAY I AM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BUT I AM ALSO DEEPLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.

I hope your knee and back feels better soon!

also fuck that teacher yelling something doesn't make people understand it any better ugh dumb piece of shit anyway screw that person.

I hope you get some good rest and recovery from this rollercoaster of a day.

Take care!

[whatifxwereyou]

Embers Chapter 1: Closed

Mortal Kombat 2021

Liu Kang x Reader | Eventual Kung Lao x Reader

Prequel to my fic Ashes. Reader is a woman in her late 20s living in a small town in China. This fic will contain violence, traumatic themes, angst and sex so be warned. We'll be going from how Y/N and Liu Kang met to where she wound up with Kung Lao before Ashes takes place~ This fic will also contain MANY chapters from Liu Kang's POV. Enjoy! (ps there will be a second chapter posted tomorrow)

Next Chapter >> Chapter Index Ashes

Humming, you finished putting away misplaced merchandise for the night. It’d been a long day and you were looking forward to retiring to your little apartment above the shop that shared a space with a dojo so you could watch a bad Korean drama and unwind.

The bell on the door leading into the shop from the street jingled while you were crouched behind the counter. You hadn’t gotten around to locking up yet. “We’re closed! Sorry. Come back tomorrow.” No one responded so you peeked above the counter and your heart stopped. Four men had entered the shop dressed in black and masked. One approached aggressively with a large knife pointed toward you.

Standing up, you backed up to the counter on the back wall and searched blindly for the sword you’d been sharpening on the whetstone that afternoon. Instead you found the handle of a kettle still hot with water from tea you offered to patrons.

“If you promise not to scream then…”

You threw the kettle as hard as you could and it struck him in the face with a thud. He shouted a string of curses as hot water splattered everywhere.

All hell broke loose.

“Don’t just stand there! Get her!” He hissed. “Oh, you’re gonna pay bitch.” You searched in a panic for the sword which was on the shelf to your left but as you grasped the hilt, you were tackled to the ground. The blade clattered from your hand and down the hall. Kicking blindly you struck something meaty and then scrambled to your hands and knees and reached for the hilt. As your fingers came closer, you were grabbed suddenly around the waist and pulled backwards. Damnit! So close!

“Shit, shit, shit…” Blindly you grasped at the floor and at the shelf to your left but there was nothing to it. There was chaos on the other side of the counter and your ears were buzzing. You were grabbed roughly and thrown onto your back. The man with a big burn on his face and a welt from the kettle was holding you down. He’d taken off his mask

“If you know what’s good for you, you’d stay still, bitch!”

You would absolutely not stay still.

You fought, kicked, swung, and managed to get your wrist free and punched him hard in the face. He leaned to wind up and strike and you kicked him in the chest. Heart pounding in your ears, you scrambled to your feet and ran around the counter to get distance between you.

A fifth stranger had entered the store but you recognized him and he was trying to help you. He’d come in every month for an order of obscure herbs you had imported for him. You’d never been so happy to see a customer in your life. That was why only the one had come after you. The customer was keeping the other three busy and if you hadn’t been in panic mode then you would have been impressed.

You were pulled from behind. Prying his fingers from your side, you knocked his arm back but he grabbed you roughly and pulled you behind the counter where you knocked into the shelves. He was pinning you down and you tried to shove his hands away. He was grinning, like your fighting him was giving him a cheap thrill. “Get off!” With a grunt you kicked him and got free long enough to crawl away but even as you did, he grabbed your legs and then began to drag you down the hall. Then you smelled fire.

This couldn’t be happening!

The air filled with smoke. But you were being dragged down the hall. Kicking and screaming, your nails scraped against the wood of the floor and snagged painfully. He was laughing at you. Grabbing you roughly by the hair, your assailant shoved you hard against the wall. Grabbing his arm, you tried to twist his thumb but then the cold, sharp blade was pressed against your throat and you froze.

“Nuh-uh-uh.” His Australian accent was thick with confidence, breath heavy like a dog. “Wouldn’t do that if I were you, love.” You didn’t pull your hand back and considered if you could pull him away faster than he could cut you but he pressed the sharp edge of the blade harder against your throat. You loosened your grip. There was no way you’d be fast enough. “That’s right. Now call off your dog.”

Gritting your teeth you pulled your hand back. What were you going to do? “Please, don’t…” The impressive blade pressed to your throat would cut you to ribbons if you moved too suddenly. He was no common thief and as he eyed you, you memorized his face and caught a glimpse of an odd scar just beneath his right sleeve.

“That’s right.” He grinned and pulled the knife from your throat and instead traced the blade down the center of your chest, letting it rest right between your breasts. “Beg for your life. Not a better sound I could think of than a pretty girl begging.” His grin became a snarl. “Now call off your dog and maybe I’ll let him watch while you make it up to me.” Before he could say more, you decided to take the risk. Elbowing him hard in the nose, you then grabbed his wrist and twisted it to force the blade from his hand. “Bitch!” He punched you in the stomach, picked up the blade and swung but you were already scooting away and threw up your arm out of instinct. The blade sliced across your elbow to your forearm but you barely felt it.

You kicked him in the face and the blade clattered out of his hand again. Practically foaming at the mouth, he screamed and grabbed at you. You grabbed his knife but he lifted you right up and threw you further down the hall. With a thud you crashed into the wall and crumbled to the ground in a heap. The wind was knocked out of you and you struggle to breathe. Still, you got to your hands and knees. But he was on you, grabbing a fistful of your hair and pulling you back to your feet. You stumbled but he shoved you against the wall, screaming obscenities and threats at you.

But the blade was firmly in your grasp and as he shoved at you and grasped your throat, you stabbed him as hard as you could in the chest. The sound the blade made as it sunk into his flesh deafened all other sounds. He froze and looked down at the blade then back into your eyes. He grabbed your wrist to pull the blade free but you knocked it back and pulled the knife free. Then you stabbed him again. And again.

Blood poured past his lips, replacing the obscenities, rivers of red spilling down his front before he fell to the ground, lifeless. You nudged him with your foot and he didn’t respond. You’d just killed a man.

Panic.

The blade fell from your hands and clattered into the puddle of blood. Leaning heavy on the wall, you shrunk to the floor. Breath heavy and rapid, your chest ached as you struggled to breathe. There wasn’t any time to panic but damnit, you’d just killed a man. Your shoes were soaked in blood.

There was no time.

There were still thugs in your shop.

Picking the knife back up, you stumbled down the hall and back toward the shop only to find the familiar stranger who had come to your aid. Upon seeing you safe, he ran to put out the last of the flames that had engulfed several shelves along the wall. The paint on the wall had curled and several items were burned to a crisp. It smelled horrid. There was no sign of the other three men, just the stranger in his gi. His arms were covered in soot.

Trembling, you didn’t know what else to do other than help put out the remains of the fire. Resting the knife on the counter, you grabbed a towel from behind it and then helped smother the remaining flames. From what you could tell, a candle that you’d been burning had been knocked over and the fire had spread from there. The building was so old that you wouldn’t have been surprised if everything was flammable.

Shakily, you tried to clean things up but only succeeded in knocking them over.

“Hey, hey…” The familiar stranger’s soothing voice tried to calm you. You pulled pieces of charred merchandise off the shelf and tossed them in the trashcan behind the counter. “It’s okay.” Your heart was pounding in your ears and you were shaking like a leaf. “Hey…” He stepped in front of you and held his hands up defensively. You froze. “Don’t worry about that right now. Come… sit down.” He looked you over, brow knit with worry. He was bruised and covered in soot but otherwise seemed fine.

“I have to clean this up.” The words sounded foreign and you suddenly felt hot and clammy. You fanned yourself and shrunk down to a crouch. The stranger crouched with you; worry plastered on his face. Why was he so worried? You looked down at yourself.

Oh.

You were drenched in blood.

“It can wait.” He was calm and soothing as if he understood what it was like to be that panicked. “You’re bleeding.”

“Oh?” Were you? You were filled with adrenaline. You’d watched enough bad television to know that’s what this was. How could he tell that you were bleeding? There was so much blood. Your stomach twisted into knots and threatened the back of your throat with vomit. Deep breaths through a hot wave of nausea.

“It’s okay, breathe.”

“W-what happened? To the… there were more of them.” You had to think about anything other than the blood.

“They ran off. Between me and the fire …” He turned to look down the hall for the fourth intruder.

“I killed him.” You hadn’t checked his pulse but it was unlikely he’d survive being stabbed in the chest that many times. The friendly stranger whose name you could not remember stood and walked around the corner. You watched him disappear and then focused on breathing. Moments later he returned and nodded to confirm that he was dead. You weren’t sure how you felt about that.

“I think you need stitches.” He crouched in front of you again. “Is there a doctor nearby? If you have a good first aid kit I can help.”

She stuttered. Get it together. What was his name? Did you have a first aid kit? Were you really so noticeably bleeding? He probably didn’t remember your name either. Okay, focus, focus. “There’s a corpse in my hallway.”

“One thing at a time.” His smile was sympathetic, eyes dark but kind. “You can’t keep bleeding like that.”

“Oh, right… I… okay.” You stood up and then closed the curtains over the window on the door. Then you secured it. The stranger joined you at your side and took the towel you’d used to smother the fire and wrapped it around your forearm. You sat patiently while he wrapped it tightly then thanked him with a bow of your head. Then you pulled the blinds over the big windows.

He was patient with you and you appreciated it. You had to close up. If you didn’t now then you wouldn’t. Menial tasks made your breathing slow and calm. Then you leaned on the counter and held your arm. It was suddenly miserable. With a deep sigh, you tried to ignore it.

No such luck. It hurt like a bitch.

“Your arm.” He leaned against the counter from the other side. You considered telling him to leave. He’d done enough for you and you didn’t know each other. But he had saved you and was being incredibly patient and respectful.

It helped that you had always thought he was handsome, incredibly handsome as a matter of fact. And funny. At least he’d made you laugh in the past. You’d sworn you’d even flirted a little back and forth. He was one of those customers that you had always looked forward to seeing.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I have a first aid kit upstairs.” You finally sorted out your thoughts. Fuck it. He’d helped you. If he was willing to keep helping you then you were going to let him. “Follow me.” You would do just about anything to avoid the local doctor and the closest hospital was well, not close. No one in town would help you. They weren’t exactly big fans of yours.

When the townsfolk found out that you’d killed someone they were going to crucify you. Self-defense or not, they would look for any reason to get rid of you.

That was a problem for tomorrow. For now, you were bleeding.

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