#both my parents and my older sisters would go to get food and basically never get me anything

[caffeinatedopossum]

Ok so apparently it's not normal that whenever someone goes to a restaurant and I'm with them, I expect them to get just themselves food and then we leave. Like if you get me food or ask if I want anything I will in fact look at you like you're a stranger who just walked up and offered me a 100 dollar bill

[lokiswifeduh]

Crash

Pairings: dad!Bucky x daughter!reader, bucky x natasha, wanda x reader(platonic), Loki x reader(Established)

Summary: Bucky, your dad, just got a new car after coming back from a grueling mission with Steve. You're now seventeen and have your license. There's no reason you shouldn't be able to drive it? Right?

Word Count: 2199

Warnings: Car crash, hospital, cursing, implied cheating, underage drinking, angst, some fluff if you really look.

A/N: Yelena is not Nat's sister in this. Also, Wanda is like 17, and so is Loki. Also, let me know if there are any mistakes, I don't proofread very well.

"I said no." Bucky shook his head, arms crossed. You groaned, plopping down on the couch behind you. "Please? Wanda is waiting on me."

"Then you shouldn't have told her you would be picking her up." You rolled your eyes, standing up and looking at your Dad. "Dad, I have my own license and I've been driving for over a year. Why can't me and Wanda just go to this party?"

"Because the car is new and he doesn't want you to scratch it." Your uncle Steve said, walking down the stairs and to the kitchen. You looked back at your dad, seeing the look of confirmation on his face. 

"Oh, come on!" You shouted, "I would never scratch it!" "You scratched the old car." Your mom, Natasha, said coming up behind her husband, wrapping her arms around Bucky's torso. 

You crossed your arms over your chest,  "Uncle Tony let Peter go."

Bucky scoffed, "Alright you can." You piped up, a smile immediately embracing your lips, "We can." Your dad nodded, "On one condition." Humming, you looked down to text Wanda. 

Y/N: Dad said yes. Be there in ten. 

Wanda: Get here fast! Pietro already got a ride.

"Be back before one." You looked up to your Dad smiling, "Okay."

Your mom came up beside you, handing you the keys to Bucky's new car. But before you could grab them, she yanked them from your grasp. "No scratches." Shaking your head, you softly pried them from her hand, "Not one." 

With a grin, you hugged both your parents, making sure to grab your wallet from the table before running down the driveway. 

Opening the driver's door, you breathed in the new car smell, squealing that Bucky and Natasha let you take it out. 

You pressed the start button, the engine revving to life as you sped from the driveway. 

it was already dark outside, the party at Kate's starting at ten-thirty. Which meant you and Wanda had two hours there and fifteen minutes getting food after, then plenty of time to get home. It was perfect. 

clicking down the left turn signal, you turned onto Wanda's street. You could see her sitting outside on the front step, Pietro had already left. 

"Hey!!" She shouted, a smile on her face as she jumped into the car. "Hey," You accelerated, already halfway down her street and on your way to the party. 

When you got there, the party was loud, even a block away. Pulling up, you saw Kate and Yelena standing on the front lawn with drinks in their hands. "Hey! Lena!" You shouted, running up to the two. 

"Hey!" She yelled back, hugging you and Wanda. "Oh, Come on! Peter and Loki are about to play beer pong!" You laughed, pulling Wanda with you and into the house.  When you entered the living room, a giant table was set up with solo cups on each side. 

"You know you'll lose, Parker." Loki snarked, pulling you to his side. You accepted the gesture, wrapping your arms around his torso. 

"Alright." Peter nodded, holding his head high. "But if we win.." Pietro came up beside him, "Then we get an invite to Thor's penthouse party next week." Loki rolled his eyes at the name of his older brother and guardian. 

"Fine." He threw the ball, landing it basically perfect in the front cup. "Ha! I'm already on a head start." Loki gloated, widening his arms at his side. 

"Ugh." Peter groaned, basically wasted, "How did he get every one!"

You laughed, gesturing for Pietro to help Peter home. "Come on Lokes." You pulled him into another room, pushing him onto the couch and straddling him, "That was very hot." "What?" Loki grinned, "Me winning or Me not missing a single throw." You let a laugh out, "Both." Within a second, your lips were crashing together, hungrily fighting. 

You both heard someone clearing their voice behind you. You swore you were going to smack Yelena or Wanda for whatever they needed. But even more, unluckily, it was Sif. 

"Yes?" You questioned, keeping your hands behind Loki's neck. 

"I need to speak with Loki." You scoffed, "You can talk to him late-" But before you could finish your sentence, you were softly pushed off of Loki's lap and onto the couch. 

"Just a minute darling." Loki gave you one last kiss before following the brunette upstairs. So there you sat, sulking on the couch, scrolling aimlessly through TikTok. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" Wanda asked, sitting down next to you. Shrugging, you clicked off your phone. "It's not worth it." You stood, grabbing her hand, "Come on. Let's go find Lena."

"So how're things going with Loki?" Wanda questioned, looking down at her phone while you drove to get food. The party had been fun but after Loki never came back down and Sharon fought with Sam because he dumped her, it was getting boring. So you and Wanda left, going to get food before you both went back to your house. 

It was already twelve-thirty and you were pushing your drive-thru time expectations. 

You shrugged, "It's okay. I think he might have something going on with Sif though."

Wanda looked up, "What?" She clicked off her phone, "But you guys have been so good together."

You scoffed, "He's nice to me but an arrogant jackass to everyone else." Looking over to Wanda, you waited for her reaction. 

Wanda tilted her head in understanding, "Yeah. I guess you just need to talk to him on Mon- Y/N!! WATCH OUT!!"

Suddenly a bright light flashed in your eyes making your hands fly from the wheel as you attempted to cover your face. 

It seemed like everything was in slow motion. Your phone flew past your head, as did thousands of little shards of glass. Wanda was screaming beside you, and a sharp pain erupted in your side. 

You were seventeen, almost eighteen. But at this moment, you wanted nothing but your mom and dad. 

You had nothing but half a second to think about it before a crashing sound drowned your ears, and you hit your head. Leaving the darkness to surround your vision. 

Bucky shook his head, "She should be back by now." Natasha nodded, agreeing. "We told her midnight." She looked over to the clock, "It's almost two." 

Steve walked into the room, pocketing his phone, "Melina said Yelena is already home and Kate's party ended half an hour ago."

Natasha dropped her head into her hands as Bucky maneuvered her into his lap. "it's okay. Me and Steve will go look for her." Natasha wiped the tears from her cheeks, "I'm coming too."

The three stood up, grabbed their keys, and walked out the door. Steve jumped in his truck, Natasha sitting between him and Bucky. "Okay. I'm gonna go by Wanda's first then by Kate's." The parents nodded, continuously looking down at their phones in case they got a phone call from you. 

The drive felt hours long when really it was only around eight minutes. They didn't see Bucky's new Audi in the driveway or in any surrounding ones, so off to Kates, it was. 

"Hey!" Bucky shouted, seeing Kate and MJ cleaning up cups on the front lawn. Their eyes widened, knowing Kate's mom was out of town and had no idea about the party. "Shit." She cursed, walking up to Steve's truck. "What can I help you with Mr. Barnes?" She asked, attempting to slyly hide the bag of beer cups behind her back.

Bucky rolled his eyes, "I'm not here to bust you drinking." Kate visibly relaxed, listening to Bucky's frantic voice. 

"Do you know where Y/n and Wanda went?" Kate shook her head, "All I know is that Y/n was mad at Loki and they left after Wilson and Carter got into it." "Wait what happened with Loki?!" Steve peeped around the two, looking at Steve. Kate shrugged, "Something about Sif." Steve was about to chime in again before Kate cut him off, "I know they said something about getting food after." 

"Thank you," Bucky exclaimed, telling Steve to head toward town. 

"Maybe they're sitting in a parking lot or even just hanging out with Pietro in one of the..." Steve trailed off, blue and red lights coming into view as they turned onto one of the backroads. 

"Oh my god," Natasha whispered, looking at the scene. 

"Stop the truck!" Bucky shouted, making Steve instantly brake. "That's the Audi!" Natasha cried, following after Bucky as he ran to the upsidedown car. 

"Y/n?!" Natasha screamed, "Wanda?!" A police officer came up, placing a hand in front of Bucky's chest. "Sir, I need you to step back." Bucky shook his head, "I just need to check something!"

"I'm sorry but this is a private-" "Mr. Barnes!!" Bucky and Natasha looked behind the cop to see Wanda laid out on a stretcher, you on one right beside her with EMTs working on you. 

"Oh my god!" Natasha attempted to get through only to be stopped by the same officer. "Ma'am." "That's my fucking daughter! Let me the hell through!" He immediately stepped back, seeing the anger coursing through Natasha's eyes. 

"Y/n!!" Your dad shouted, making you groan and look over as much as you could with a neck brace on. "Dad.." Mumbling, you felt your hand being picked up by two hands. 

Your vision was blurred but you could see both of your parents standing over you with worried expressions. "Hey babydoll," Bucky whispered, gripping onto your hand as your mom kissed your head. 

"What's going on?" You questioned, your memory currently fuzzy. 

"We need to get her to a hospital," A medic spoke up, "Now."

You closed your eyes once again, the bright emergency lights flashing over and over again suddenly too much to handle. 

"Y/n?" Your mom spoke up, gathering your attention, "We're following you to the hospital okay?" You mumbled something unintelligible, not able to nod from the brace. 

"We love you doll," Bucky spoke, tears streaming down his face as he looked at his daughter lying on a stretcher helplessly. You were so out of his you could only mutter a soft 'love you' before your hand was ripped from your parents, and you were raised into the ambulance. 

Bucky held Natasha, both of them watching you fall in and out of consciousness. They knew it wasn't good deep down. Bucky and Natasha had been on life-altering missions. Fighting aliens and terrorist groups that threatened the world. But this right here. In this second. Seeing their daughter being wheeled away with a footlong shard of glass protruding from her abdomen was more frightening than anything they'd ever faced. 

"Come on." Steve softly pulled the two away from watching the ambulance speed away as they heard Wanda call for them. 

The hospital had their daughter and now they had to focus on the girl who was basically their second kid. 

"Hey," Natasha cooed, leaning down to Wanda's view, "it's gonna be okay." 

Wanda shook her head, "It's not her fault. We weren't drinking, and she didn't see it! I promise it wasn't-" "Hey," Bucky crouched down, "We're not mad. All that matters is that you guys are okay." 

Wanda stopped rambling, nodding. 

"We'll call your parents and meet you at the hospital." Bucky and Natasha were about to walk away when Wanda grabbed her hand. "Please don't leave me." Natasha attempted a smile, tears still streaming down her face, "Of course not."

The widow turned, still holding onto her daughter's best friend as she looked to her husband. "I'll meet you at the hospital. Call Olek and Iryna." He acknowledged her, pressing a kiss to her lips before Nat followed Wanda into the second ambulance. 

Suddenly the scene was empty. Yellow crime scene tape was wrapped around the Audi. All police and EMTs were gone. Bucky and Steve stood there, the night silence suddenly deafening. 

"Let's go, Buck." Steve pulled his best friend to the truck, "I'll call Olek on the way."

But Bucky stood still, fighting the urge to crumple to the ground. 

"I didn't even tell her I loved her."

"What?" Steve questioned, not understanding. 

Bucky looked back to the blonde, "I didn't tell her I loved her before she left. And now I don't know if I ever will again."

A/N: This is only my second fic on here but I'm willing to do a part two if that's something you guys would want!

Feedback is appreciated!

PART TWO

[artzychic27]

Can we hear more about Prince Kiran’s crush on Sasha Oogie? Oooh, and does he also like her in the Monstrous AU? (I’m assuming she doesn’t exist in the Hero AU, given that QuasiIvan’s parents would have died when he was a baby)

Prince Kiran met Sasha Oogie when he was five

His thirteen-year-old brother, Marc, had decided now was the perfect time for him to torture the villagers with him. He even gave Kiran little bottles of poison to slip into peoples' food

However, when they arrived, they found that the villagers were already being tortured!

Marc was furious and demanded to know who was stepping on his turf. And there he was, the bug-filled burlap sack himself, Ivan Oogie. He was scaring both young and old with spiders and snakes that were the stuff of nightmares

Marc refused to stand for this and demanded that he leave, but Ivan, not bound by the rules of the Poison Prince, refused

While his brother and Ivan went at it, Kiran went to go find someone his age to torture and maybe poison. But, as he went further into the village, he found the sight of a young girl around his age and with a slight resemblance to Ivan, stuffing bugs into an unconscious man's mouth

The girl greeted him with some hostility at first, but when Kiran asked if she'd ever stuffed poison bugs into someone's mouth, she became intrigued

It took a minute for Marc to realize his brother had gone missing, and as he was frantically looking around for him, he found him stuffing bugs into someone's mouth with a girl his age

Ivan Oogie: Sasha! Just what're you doing with this royal brat's brother?!

Prince Marc: How... DARE YOU?! Kiran, you're coming back with me this instant, away from this bug-stuffed sack's sister!

The older siblings drag them away, never to be seen again... Until later that night when Sasha sneaks into the castle and slips by undetected through the shadows until she's in Kiran's room

They play together, come up with new pranks involving bugs, snakes, and different poisons, and then they have a tea party

It goes on like this for a while until Marc finds one of Sasha's snakes in Kiran's room. And he knows it's not one of his because the ones he keeps in jars down in his lab are red

Prince Marc: That is it, mister! You are grounded and forbidden from seeing Sasha! Get in your mirror!

Prince Kiran: You can't ground me!

Prince Marc: I basically raised you and kept you sheltered from the evils that plague this world, such as frown lines!... Great, now I'm getting them- My decision still stands, you are not allowed to see Sasha, and that is final!

Prince Kiran: You're old and mean, and I'm gonna poison you in your sleep!

Prince Marc: I've drank and built up a tolerance to every toxin! Try me, baby brother.

Prince Kiran: You are such a hypocrite! I know you're still seeing Nathaniel even though mommy and mamá told you to stop because he tried to kill his parents five times!

Prince Marc: Well... Well, that's different! You're too young to even have crushes, anyway.

Prince Kiran: I was old enough for you to spoon-feed me poison when I was two.

Sasha's not doing any better. Neither is Ivan

Ivan Oogie: *Dodging several projectiles* N-now, sis, calm down- *Ducks out of the way of a chainsaw* Let's not go n' do anything hasty!

Sasha Oogie: *Hisses, and crawls on the wall like like she's possessed*

Mylensula: Shouldn't have kept her from her sweetheart, Spookums.

Ivan Oogie: And risk being in-laws with that pompous asshole?! Not in a million years!

Mylensula: Is that it? Or do you just not like the thought of your baby sister growing up?

Ivan Oogie: What?! No! That's... Maybe a lil' bit.

So their younger siblings don't try to kill him, Prince Marc and Ivan Oogie reluctantly allow them to be friends

Doesn't mean they can't be enemies, though

Prince Marc: If that little sack of ants breaks my baby brother's heart, I will have the palace seamstresses use you for practice.

Ivan Oogie: Ditto, only you'll become the next ingredient in my snake and spider stew.

@msweebyness @imsparky2002

[thewolvesof1998]

Hello!!!!!!!! I remember being heavily invested in LA zoo TikTok Buck before (any updates???? 🥺👉👈) but I also wanna ask about You belong with me? (Although tbf I wanna know about all of them 😊) 💞🦛

Hi Hippo!

@mangacat201 also asked after LA zoo TikTok Buck. Sadly there have been no updates on it until now when this scene popped into my head, enjoy!

Eddie looks over to the closed door where his son is sleeping before clicking on the video. Unlike on the LA Zoo TikTok account, where Buck is usually wearing his uniform, Buck is naked from the waist up in this video. He's standing at a kitchen counter, chopping fruit for his morning smoothie. He's talking about the origins of smoothies, which Eddie had never thought about before and very likely wouldn't have found very interesting if it wasn't for this gorgeous man talking about it. He clicks on the comment section and just as he expects most of the comments are about how hot Buck is, how they would love to wake up to that in the mornings. Eddie snorts some of the more ridiculous comments. Eddie types out the comment 'Really interesting information, thanks for sharing!' and hits send before he places his phone down on the coffee table. He tries to focus on the telenovela but his eyes keep going back to his phone. He sighs and picks it up again and starts scrolling through Buck's videos. Most of them are like the first, Buck making food and talking about some random fact. Eddie finds himself smiling stupidly at how enthusiastic Buck is about all the differing topics. It kinda reminds him of how Chris gets when talking about his current favourite thing. Eddie ends up saving some of the videos that he knows his son will find interesting before finally hitting that follow button.

'You Belong with me' fic is inspired by Taylor Swift's song of the same name. Basically at 12, the Buckley's move to El Paso and their new neighbours are the Diaz's:

And you've got a smile, That can light up this whole town (I haven't seen it in a while) Evan was twelve years old when his parents packed him up and left Hershey and Maddie behind. Maddie, his best friend, his older sister and the only one in their family that actually cared about him. She had told them at Friday night dinner that Doug had proposed and she had said yes, it was just a week early that they had found out that she and Doug were moving to Boston. The two siblings had both waited with baited breaths because they knew that their parents would not take the news well. But Evan never thought they would pack and leave her behind. He could still see Maddie’s tear-streaked face, her words still ringing in his ears: “You can’t just leave me behind and forget me like you did with him!” Evan didn’t know who ‘he’ was and from the flinch from both his parents, he was pretty sure he didn’t want to know. His unusual thirst for knowledge had dried up as he stared at Maddie through the rear window, curled up on herself, making her seem even smaller than she already was. Evan was twelve when he met his next-door neighbours, the perfect little family, three children and two parents who love their kids. He was twelve when he met Eddie Diaz, the perfect son and decided to hate him. He was also twelve when he decided that he didn’t really hate Eddie Diaz anymore and they became the best of friends. 

Thanks for asking! 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

[wordsmithwhumpsandfluff]

Hi!!. I just read your last, like, three fics and can I just say that Oliver is such a sweetheart🥺!!!!!!

Anyway, this isn't a fic request really. I was just wondering if you could maybe write backstories for your characters? I'm lowkey curious to know what some of your OCs lives were like tbh👀.

I’m glad you like Oliver!! It seems like he and Isaac are my 2 most liked OCs. Anyway, ask and you shall receive!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isaac: He has a younger sister and a much older brother, both of whom he loves. They all lived with their grandma because their parents went missing while on a business trip, and no one knows where they went. Isaac’s sister was 2, he was 12, and his brother was already 16. Their grandma was possibly the coolest woman alive, and she loved and spoiled them. Isaac had struggled with the loss of his parents, but his brother suffered worse than him, and Isaac tried his best to comfort him. That’s how Isaac realized he enjoyed helping people feel better, and that’s why he wants to be a therapist.

Oliver: His childhood wasn’t that bad. His parents loved him and supported him when he came out, and he did struggle with people being homophobic towards him from time to time but his friends (*ahem* Isaac *cough cough*) were always there to stick up for him. But Oliver was also an overachiever, and would often spend hours obsessing over and worrying about school. But other than that, his life growing up was pretty great.

Jordan: Her and her brother came from a rich family that owned and partnered with a handful of successful tech companies in both America and Japan. Because their parents were both from Japan, they visited family there often but mainly lived in the states. Jordan loved her fancy lifestyle, and because she wore fancy clothes and owned expensive things, people judged her and called her a snob, but when she met Birdie and Spirit she finally had people who saw the real her. (Jordan and Keiko don’t really have bad backstories.)

Keiko: (I repeat: basically no trauma.) Even though he’s Jordan’s brother, he didn’t have the same rich tastes that she had. He wanted a simpler life, which is why instead of accepting an allowance or asking for money, he worked jobs and applied for a lot of scholarships in order to get to college and get his own apartment. His parents offered to get nice apartments for him and Jordan, but when though Jordan accepted hers, Keiko instead stuck to buying his own.

Spirit: She wasn’t always the “heavy-metal-badass” she is now. When she was a little girl, she was basically a girly tomboy whose dad would take her fishing, play her music on the guitar, and take care of her since her mom was always working. But he was also a marine and had to go to war for a few months. He died in war on Spirit’s sixth birthday, and Spirit’s mom didn’t even stop working or come home to take care of her. There was no extended family to take care of Spirit, but her mom was home for a couple of days every week (or even every other week) and was well off financially, so CPS never really got involved. Spirit would sometimes go hungry and got her own job at a young age to buy stuff like food and clothes for herself since her mom never bothered to. Spirit’s childhood made her the independent, short-tempered badass that she is.

Birdie: Her backstory is another one of the less bad ones. Her parents are married and sweet, and she is an only child (but Spirit is like a sister to her). But she was bullied a lot growing up and often called crazy. She was obsessed with nature and was basically a hippie since she could walk. And her ADHD was so bad that she had meltdowns and bad ticks often, and as a result had scabs on her hands from picking at her skin. She takes medication, and Spirit sometimes keeps some of Birdie’s pills in her own bag because she knows Birdie forgets to take it from time to time.

Amberlynn: Right after Amber’s birth, her mom became a drunk and drug addict. And she was once so intoxicated once that she tried to kill little baby Amberlynn, and Amberlynn has a faded scar on her stomach from that attempt. After that, Amberlynn’s bio-dad (Finnegan) got full custody of her and left. When Anberlynn was about 2 years old, Finnegan met Jackson and the two of them got married when Amberlynn was 4. Amberlynn never knew her mom until the woman tried to show back up when Amberlynn was 13, and when Amberlynn yelled at her to leave, the woman slapped her and started to beat her while screaming. Jackson was there though and managed to get the woman locked out of the house. She was arrested after that, and the experience traumatized Amberlynn a bit. Her dads were there to help her through it though.

Eliana: She lived in Virginia and came from a very religious and political family. On the outside, she was a nice and beautiful girl who everyone assumed had a great life. But her family was hard on her—especially her three sisters who were jealous of her looks and called her a slut—and her life went to hell after one of her sisters found out she had a crush on a girl and was lesbian. People at her Christian school began to call her disgusting, and her family abused her verbally and physically. She had a brother who tried to intervene when he could, but he was the oldest and the first to move out to get away from his crazy family. But after two years when he had a job and even his own apartment, he convinced his parents to let Eliana move in with him. They disowned her and did just that. Afterwards, Eliana’s life improved and art became her therapy. After a while though of living with her brother and finishing up her high school years, her parents apologized and tried to get back in contact, saying they don’t accept her sexuality but she is family and they love her no matter what. She and her brother didn’t fully believe it, but she still visited her family on holidays and vacations while giving them the cold shoulder, knowing she could never forgive them completely. (Boy, that’s a long one😭).

Aiden: His dad was a cop and nis mom was a nurse. His life was nice until his dad was shot by a criminal and paralyzed from the waist and down. He’d always wanted to be a cop like his dad, and was even more determined after his dad’s accident. He was a well-liked, straight-A student with plenty of friends, and he’s also an insanely caring soul. Basically, his parents raised him right👍!!

Atticus: His backstory is really the best and calmest of them all. He was raised in the countryside. He wasn’t the stereotypical cowboy with a funny hat and a southern accent, but he knew how to milk a cow. He was a bright kid in school, and was basically just a giant hunk of joy. The people around him were accepting to the fact he was bi and he never struggled to fit in. He loved helping people and making them smile. He did lots of school programs like gardening club, student government, fundraisers, pen-pal club, and more. (The pen-pal thing is important to remember btw.)

Felix: He was raised in Britain his whole life, but his dad was American and he was born in America so he had dual citizenship. His mom was basically his best friend, and his dad thought this was weird since he thought that his son would be into things like sports instead of shopping. He wasn’t happy when his son came out as gay, but he didn’t put his son down either. Rather, he just never commented on it. Felix wanted to become a fashion designer like his mom, and when he told his dad the man basically sighed and said, “Okay, yeah. Sure. I’ll buy you a sewing machine if it’ll make you happy. I love ya, kid, but please just keep your grades up and for the love of God, please don’t start watching James Charles.” (BTW, Felix doesn’t watch James Charles. It’s just not his thing). When Felix was in high school, he joined a pen-pal program and was paired with a guy name Atticus from the US. They were pen-pals for the rest of high school and had even planned to go to the same college in the US so that their close friendship could continue in real life. They started dating after their first month of college.

[sunglassesmish]

Two ?s for you ❤️: 1) What do u think buck & dean would think of each other if they ever met? I've gleaned from your posts that buck is the most deanish of buck+eddie, right? What would the vibes be? (Inspired by your most recent buck gifset reblog) -- And 2) Do u think there's such a thing as a cocklesholic? Because I've spent so much time refreshing tumblr today trying to get a fresh hit of jenmishdee serotonin that my eyeballs hurt.😭 - your sister in cockles, who still doesn't even go here🚒

okay first of all these questions are amazing thank you 🥰

1. i definitely think buck is more like dean than eddie. first of all, buck’s issues with his parents run deep, they basically had him so they could use him to donate bone marrow (i think?) to their older sick son with leukemia. he’s never truly gotten over his issues with them, and they definitely do not understand his life/job choices.

dean doesn’t have the same issues but definitely still has parental problems (that’s putting it lightly). and there’s a scene of buck with his parents that’s similar to the one dean had with mary where he said ‘i hate you but i love you’

i headcanon buck and dean to both be adhd as you can tell by that post i reblogged of buck that you mentioned. buck is always one to be cooking for his fellow fire fighters and the captain (bobby) cooks for them a lot and just last week we had a scene where he asks him for cooking tips. and buck had a scene where he used one of bobby’s recipes to make something for eddie and his son christopher. so he makes food for the people he loves. and dean is very much the same, as we can see from all the times he cooks in the bunker and made that cake for jack on his birthday.

i realised i just ranted quite a bit and didn’t even answer your question 😅 so i think buck and dean would get along really well based on the things i just mentioned. they’d bond over cooking recipes and rant about their family and be generally chaotic together, looking to have fun. i do think they’d really like each other.

2. yes i definitely feel like there is such thing as a cocklesholic as you so perfectly put it!! i’ve spent more time thinking about cockles than i do destiel tbh. i’m supposed to be working on something but i too have spent so much time just waiting for another ‘hit’ but luckily, we have another jensen/danneel panel tomorrow. hopefully we get more amazing questions + answers!

[inthiseternalmoment]

I dreamed I could connect with Misa finally

I think I went on a journey to reconnect with the kid that was left behind in Neptune Promenade through my projection of Misa. I think it means we’re both going to be ok.

04/22/2024

In this dream I was on my way to a KBBQ/yakiniku get together with a class of sorts but the scheduling had worked out so that I could pick up and drop off Misa before my event.

She was both younger than me like she is now and yet felt as if she was also a young adult at the same time (so maybe I was older than I am now?). When I picked her up, we got to talk a little bit about how her life has been. She felt cautiously cheerful/optimistic. She was preparing for a trip in a few days where she was meeting a good friend of hers and I felt so happy to hear her talk about something she was enjoying about her life.

She still seemed to struggle to talk about herself emotionally but I made sure to prioritize giving her space without pressure. I think it helped.

I arrived at Neptune Promenade (a version of it where each apartment was another reality - basically an infinite number of realities masking itself as a singular apartment building). It was actually another apartment where I was to go to have my class food meetup.

As I dropped her off at one of the units that opened up to a sort of “home” for her, I was able to tuck her in and wish her goodnight. While she was much bigger and older in my dream, she was literally at the same time the same little girl I’ve always known.

I felt like she truly appreciated the gesture of me picking her up and that made me laugh as I made clear to her that it was the highlight of my day getting to talk with her and connect (as short as it may have been).

After I left, she texted me a long text talking about her feelings about our dad and how she felt that at an early age she was really misunderstood and unseen by him. I wasn’t surprised to get this text because she was still at a point where texting was easier for her to communicate her feelings and I was grateful for any communication at all.

I also was overjoyed that I could 100% validate her feelings/experience in my response because I had done the work to recognize my parents for who they were. A past me would have easily made excuses for my parents and would have tried to communicate those excuses to her. It would have come from a place of “love,” of course, but unhealed love that was unwilling to recognize the pain they caused me (and therefore unwilling to recognize Misa’s pain as well).

A past version of me would have taken this honest text from her personally (completely subconsciously), because it would have reflected back to me the hurt child that felt he had to endlessly be understanding of his parents’ shortcomings while never feeling understood himself.

But here I was in the dream, crafting an understanding and validating response to her honest and vulnerable expression of truth. Instead of feeling like my worldview was threatened, I felt my relationship with my sister deepen because I was able to embrace her in this moment where she was holding her hand out for connection.

This dream coming after what was revealed about her the day of the 4/8 eclipse tells me that things will be better eventually. She has emotionally been on my mind and I hope that in spirit I have been able to commune with her and fully see her, and that she has felt that.

…

The setting being this inter dimensional Neptune Promenade (a dream setting I’ve actually been to before) combined with her being older and younger at the same time makes me wonder if she reflects back to me the child I was back in Neptune Promenade. She’s around the age I was back then.

Maybe through connecting with and validating her, I have reached a new milestone doing the same for my inner child. I know he felt unseen and misunderstood by both parents in different ways, and it was like I revisited Neptune Promenade to see him again, this time able to fully hear out his truth, unclouded by my unhealed pain.

[darkhalo4321]

A vent/rant Journal. It’s really long, so don’t read unless you feel like it I guess?

I have SO MUCH ANXIETY-  I know things will be fine. I am kicking myself for being anxious about something so minor. And I know anxious people are most frustrated with themselves because we know our fears are ridiculous.

I have a dentist appointment today for a cleaning and exam. I had an emergency one monday because I chipped a tooth. I’m nervous about how many more teeth I have that are in bad condition. It’s nothing I can change, but the unknown is making me shaky and anxious. There is also a lot of wildfire smoke and that’s probably not helping. Not that I’m anxious about that, but the smoke can cause issues like that to rise up.  I guess I wish my mom was more present in making us do things as kids. She likes to say she was, but in reality things she did were only done for a couple months until something minor derailed it and then it just was too exhausting for her. So, for example. We were at one point all to take turns cooking dinner once a week. This was to teach us how to cook etc. I know I took it pretty seriously because I know a lot about how to cook food on the stove and what not, but I ask a lot of questions and I seek confirmation constantly, so my confidence at new things is low until I’ve gotten enough confirmation that what I’m doing is fine. My younger sister... I don’t know if she ever even did it. She’s admittedly lazy and wiggled her way out of it and now regrets it because she doesn’t know how to cook much on a stove outside of boiling water for mac and cheese. This lasted for a few months until my mom was tired of having to take time out to do it because the idea was to get us in a groove to take over doing it for her. Which is kind of what weekly chores were- Get the kids in a groove to take over the housework and she could have more time to read or write her pen pals and watch her soaps.  Like, I am not upset over learning how to clean house on a regular schedule or cook, but this is a pattern my mom has. She used to be cool with friends coming over, was that mom that picked up the kids and took them home and I remember as a small small child how my older sisters always had friends that were over and got to go to friend’s and stuff, but when I got to that age, it was not the same. My mom always asked if I had a ride which meant she wasn’t going to drive me so their parents better be picking me up and dropping me off because we weren’t allowed to sleep over at anyone’s houses anymore because lice was a thing and she was tired of dealing with it. I never wanted to be a burden to my friends so I never got to hang out with them and I’m not surprised that they didn’t invite me to anything. She had hoped that my oldest sister would be the one carting us to and from places once she could drive, but she got a job and was like never home. I vaguely remember her presence at home other than a few small incidents while being baby sat, but like other than that, she was just gone all the time.  I don’t hate my mom or my dad for anything. My mom was basically raising us as a single mom because my dad worked out of town a lot to make ends meet. They both came from poor families, and both of them felt strife in some way with their family dynamics.  My mom’s mother told her that when she was pregnant with my mom she tried hopping down stairs to miscarry because it was embarrassing to be pregnant in your 40′s and it hurt my mom a lot. My dad’s father got into a nasty divorce and their second stepmom liked trying to pit the kids all against each other and his mom’s new husband was an abusive alcoholic. Both of them have trauma, not that they’d ever admit that it was that, and it shaped how they move through the world. They are very avoidant of things until it’s pressing and I learned how to navigate life like that because that’s how we operate. We push through pain and keep going. My mom has migraines but hated how her sister would waste her days in a dark room away, so my mom pushed through the pain to live her life because she didn’t want to feel helpless.  My dad had to be somewhat self sufficient because he couldn’t rely on the adults in his life to help him, and so he pushed through pain to get things done and it’s costing him now.  When I learned to drive, I didn’t have a car to drive. Both my older sisters got a dedicated car for them to drive, but the car I was suppose to get I didn’t get fully until I was like 19 going to college and then it broke down a year later with transmission issues. We used that car for a family car for years and years and years before I got it and I didn’t even know it was suppose to be my car until my mom had acquired something else. Like, I didn’t get it until she had something else, but even then it wasn’t truly mine because they would take it in place of the new to them car because it was the better car at the time. So, I’m 16, can drive, but not allowed to borrow the car unless I have gas money, but can’t get money without job, but can’t get job without car- Also moved to the middle of nowhere so driving was my only way of getting a job and the only ONLY place in walking distance would not hire me no matter how hard I tried. AH but I got to drive when it came to my youngest adopted sister wanting to go to friend’s house. Suddenly it was “Your sister can take you!”  And I was grumpy about it most times, but... I’m thankful I was compliant enough to ensure she wouldn’t have the social awkwardness I have because damn, I feel like not getting to experience things like sleepovers with friends and stuff has really just left a hole in me.  The first real fun sleepover that I can say was a REAL sleep over I had in 2021 when I went to my friend’s house up north so we could get a good head start to the coast. It was so much fun, and I was like “this is what I wanted in high school... This is the thing I wanted to do” Because I’m actually very very very extroverted, and my parents are very very very very NOT.  Anyways- That’s my current state of affairs... I feel kind of better typing out things that weigh on my mind. I’m not mad or upset with my parents or my sisters- and if they read this I do not want them to feel like I am. I wish I could have felt more confident in vocalizing my needs as a kid because maybe if I had told my mom I wanted her to drive me to a friend’s house, or tried holding her accountable to her words- maybe things would be different?  Nothing I can change now, but it helps to know and understand why people react and behave like they do. It doesn’t make their actions any better or worse, but it does help one realize that they are broken people who don’t have the tools to navigate their traumas in a healthy way.  Anyways, I’m thankful for the job I have now, and I’m thankful for the friends I have in my life now and I’m taking steps to get my teeth and health all good to go, and that’s important. I don’t want to put these things off anymore because my parents do that and I’m seeing how that doesn’t really help things in the long run.  And in case you read this long rant of mine Penny, sister dear, My memories of you are the fond ones, where you took us to hot cocoa before school, and when I see the fog lifting off the fields it makes me think of those times. I remember you teaching us how to color waterfalls with colored pencils. The memories of when you told me that it was better to be honest about doing something wrong than to run and hide because I accidentally broke a vase and ran and hid under my bed. You were worried I was hurt.  I don’t want anyone to walk away feeling like I’m upset. Things happen the way they do, not much I can change about that-  I wish things could be different. I often wonder what path I would be on right now if they were, but it’s futile to think about because it’s not realistic to dwell on. I can’t change it. There is no isekai other world, there is no jumping back in time to try again. It’s not possible. Just gotta hold out hope for the future and hope I’m around to benefit from the advancements. 

[subpar-ghoulfriend]

Live In Nanny Pt 2

Villain!All Might x Reader

All Might raising baby Deku but is in desperate need of a nanny (Pt 2). The morning after and basically wayyyy to long so the smut is gonna have to be in pt 3. (word count: a little over 2k)

pt 1 here

TW: Yandere themes, day after dub con, reader is held against their will

You were sore. Your hips, wrists, back, pussy, everything ached. A silky sheet was the only thing covering your bare form. You could feel that you were alone in bed, Toshi's bulkiness was no longer weighing down the mattress. It must be mid morning because light was streaming through the curtains. Maybe if you remained still you could absorb into the mattress. Not only because of your tender body, but because you would prefer to never see your boss again. But speak of the devil. "Are we staying in bed all day?" You groaned. Hating how he worded his question. We. It was condescending, patronizing, and somehow filled you with butterflies. Something was placed on the bed, definitely not heavy enough to be Toshi. And then you realized, not something but a tiny someone. Baby Izuku crawled over to you, babbling, and tapped your sore shoulder. "Morning, Zuzu," You mumbled. Your joints crackled to life and you tightened the covers so you could face the little one. Behind him the clock read 11:00 am. "I need to get dressed." The villain cocked his head, "I tossed your clothes in the laundry do you want me to go get something from your closet?" No, you didn't want him running through your belongings. He would probably make a mess. "Just give me one of your shirts." That provided you enough modesty to get to your room and you were surprised the menace didn't follow. You scrubbed your body raw under the shower, subconsciously punishing yourself for taking pleasure from the night before. You were frustrated. Clean and covered in giant sweat pants and a hoodie you stormed into the living room where Toshi sat watching izuku entertain himself. "I quit." There was a pause. You tried not to look at the child. He would sway your resolve. This didn't have anything to do with him, it was between you and his father. "Alright." Oh. He wasn't going to challenge you? Figures, the man got what he wanted from you. You turned on your heels and rushed back to your room. You didn't own much so it wasn't hard to shove your belongings back into the suitcase. Opening your bedside drawer you froze. Your keys and phone were missing. This was their spot. The dedicated key-and-phone drawer. You check the room once, twice, then Izuku's room, the playroom, the kitchen. "Where are my keys?" You hissed, to hell with the phone you could buy a replacement. "Why would you need those," His voice was taunting. You felt your fists ball up and your nails dug into your palms. You stomped your foot like a frustrated child. "Because I'm leaving, I quit, now give me my keys." "I agreed you can quit, if that's what makes you feel better. I didn't say anything about leaving." The tension could be cut with a knife. He wasn't speaking or moving, he was eerily looming. In the other room Izuku was getting fussy. It knotted your stomach not going to check on him, but you kept your eyes on the villain. Toshinori was the first one to move, he went to check on his son. Clearly you weren't a threat. You could do without the keys, even sacrifice your suitcase. You made it all the way to the front door where you expected him to be, but he wasn't. He was with Izuku. With a twist at the knob the door didn't budge. You tried once more before angrily shaking the door. All Might called for you, "I told you that you aren't leaving. It's a two way security system but feel free to keep trying." When did he install this? You didn't see anything obvious like a box or camera indicating a security system. You could've thrown a fit or tried to break open the window but you had a feeling you wouldn't make it far. "What are you getting at?" You asked, rejoining the father-son duo. "Nothing aside from what we discussed last night in bed," he was making your cheeks burn red. "Making sure we stay a happy family." By the tone of his voice you knew there was no room for discussion. He didn't chastise you for slamming the door your room. He didn't pester you through out the day. He didn't even open your door to tell you he made dinner. He came by later to tell you (through the door) that he left you a plate in case you get hungry. By midnight you were. You tip toed down the hall, peeking into to the nursery to see Izuku fast asleep. You scarfed down the food before crawling back to bed. --- The next day you shuffled out of bed and into Izuku's room where you picked up the quiet but awake baby. You were gentle as you combed through his green curls with your fingers. He was still warm the way babies gets when they sleep. Holding him soothed you. Toshi melted when he saw you two curled up on the couch. He didn't want to ruin the mood so he stayed out of your line of sight for a few more minutes. Finally he entered the threshold of the room, "I'm heading out for the day but I won't be out late." You could've ignored him, but Izuku's grubbing hands were grabbing for his daddy. You had been defeated by the toddler. You weren't a monster. You moved toward your now ex-employer so he could tell his son goodbye. Goodbye before he goes off to commit atrocities. Toshi kissed the child’s chubby cheeks without removing him from your arms. He was too close for comfort. You took an awkward half step back before his huge hand caught your hair. With a tug, your chin jutted forward and he pressed his lips to yours. "Zuku, keep an eye on mommy," Chuckling as he stepped out the front door. Your mind was fuzzy for a moment before looked down at the boy on your hip who was giggling and clapping his hands together. --- The jovial villain was focused at work. He was on edge, quiet and irritable. Eager to return home and help you with his son. All Might wasn't delusional — well at least not entirely. He anticipated that this would be a rough time for you, but you were a good girl, you would adjust.

When he placed that ad to scout for someone to watch Izuku he didn't plan for this. But you were so perfect. He ached for you in a way he never hurt before. Had you been anyone else he would've killed you when you found out his villainous ways. But no, he could never bring himself to harm you. God, you even took the news in stride. Yeah, you weren't thrilled and may have walked out of their lives if he hadn't stopped you; but you weren't trashing his house or treating Izuku any differently.

And you were so pretty underneath him, whimpering while you took his length, your nails digging into the man's shoulders when he released into you. You slept like a rock afterwards, rolling unconsciously into him. Your body sought his comfort, knowing you were safe with him. He just needed to give you time to adjust.

--- It didn't take long for you to stop leaving the room any time he entered. And soon you were back to your normal routine of caring for the child and keeping up with the house. You resumed playing around with Izuku and began reading a ton of books to the boy. You told Toshi that Izuku could even pick which books he wanted you to read. It was nice that you were talking to him again, sometimes making jabs at his life choices and always kept a distance between yourself and him. Izuku was becoming quite the talker, well the babbler because he hasn't said his first word yet. He was figuring it out though. He knew he could say 'Ap-ap' for apple or to get picked up. You were sure he would say his first word any day. --- The three of you were in the living room when it happened. Izuku was watching some baby show, the first "lesson" was colors and the little one did his best to make nonsensical noises. The next subject was family members. Siblings, sister, brother. Parents. Mom, mommy, mama. Dad, daddy, papa. Grandma, grandpa. Aunt, auntie. Uncle. Over and over again until the show was done. Toshi looked at the izuku who was wearing the face of a thinker. He looked at his dad, the little one was trying to get something of importance out. You both cheered for him once he finally got out the word "papa." It was cute to see the man beam with pride, even though he was a villain. The butterflies were breaking out of their cocoons again. --- Toshi didn't get much alone time with his son and he liked it that way. That meant you were with them. But when he did get time with son he worked on teaching the boy that you were the mommy. Mama. And Izuku would try to repeat but hadn’t quite got it. --- You were struggling to maintain your composure in between watching the news and cooking dinner. All Might was robbing a bank. There were hostages. You recognized the location immediately as a bank you passed almost daily before working for Toshinori. Did you know anyone inside? A small part of you worried for the man, probably because you were thinking of him as Izuku's father rather than a villain. You shut the TV off when you heard Izuku start to wake from his nap.

That night you couldn't help but notice a slice on his arm; it was superficial, not even bleeding but enough to draw out the question: Why do you do it? It's easy, he shrugged. All Might never initiated an attack unprovoked nor directed his actions towards helpless civilians. He stole, dabbled in the black market, and made sure everyone knew not to mess with him or anyone in his circle.

You just couldn't understand. When Zuku gets older he will ask questions. All little boys idolize their dads. What if someone tried to hurt the boy? 

The two of you were whisper yelling with each other. You more so than Toshi but he was still running low on patience; it had been a long day, after all. Izuku was picking up on the changing atmosphere, watching you both through furrowed brows, the quiver in his lip worsening. You stopped when you heard the whimpering begin. He was a sensitive child. Maybe you just needed to sleep. Toshi picked up the baby, bouncing Zuku in the way that always prevented tantrums and wails. He kept babbling and you could tell he was doing his best not to cry. You started to head towards your room when a cry broke out for 'mama.' This time it wasn't Toshi “putting you in your place”. This time it was Izuku.

"It's okay, Zuzu," Toshi soothed. "Mommy just needs a minute."

The crushing realization of just how trapped you were knocked the wind out of you. You couldn't leave the house. Toshi was always being too kind and patient. Somehow he managed to teach Izuku that you were his mommy. The most infamous villain had ensnared you and no matter what he wasn’t letting go. You would never be able to convince him to leave you alone and you'd never be able to leave Izuku.

You were tired of stubbornly holding out. Pathetic tears cascaded down your face, gentle and oddly relieving. Izuku practically leapt into your arms. The tot clung to you and his crying calmed down. you turned away, not able to look at the man.

"Are you going to think the worst of me forever?" Toshinori whispered. Maybe? Probably not. It was hard to tell. You didn't want to.

He continued, "I'm a good father, I would never let anyone hurt Izuku. Or you. Sure I don't have a lot of redeeming qualities but there are some."

You were tired of being stuck inside. It wasn't good for Izuku either. You wouldn't admit it but you weren't so sure you would abandon them even if given the chance. You were tired of trying to hate the man behind you. Tired of pretending you didn't fantasize about that night when you were alone in bed. Toshi moved right behind you and you relaxed against his huge chest. He was surprised and hesitant to move in case he frightened you to your senses. He couldn't just stand there though, that would be weird. Two thick arms wrapped around waist. "Tomorrow I wanna take Izuku to the park," You whispered. Toshi was equally defeated.

"Okay."

---

After putting Izuku to bed you made your way down the hall. The shower in Toshinori's bathroom was running. That was fine. You needed a moment to collect your thoughts. If this was going to work without you feeling like a hostage he was going to have to be open to loosing the reigns. 

He was surprised to see you in his room when he exited the bathroom in nothing more than a pair of sweatpants. 

"More fighting?" He cocked an eyebrow. 

You shook your head, "I hate All Might, just as much as I hate every other villain. But when you come home I don't see All Might, I just see Toshinori, Izuku's dad. That's the man I care about and no matter how much I fight it I can't stop caring."

It was hard to keep eye contact with him but you continued, "I want to be with you and Izuku, not with All Might. And I want to be here on my own accord. I want to be able to go out with Izuku and with you. Can't we just try that?" 

You didn't come in here to berate him again? Or to demand to leave? His heart softened as he realized that the person he wanted, wanted him back. You were willing to remain in their lives. 

"I can try that." 

Toshi trained his eyes on your body, fighting every instinct to close the space between. But you moved first, gingerly placing your hand on his shoulder to steady yourself as you straddled his lap.

"Can I sleep in here tonight? I want you to hold me," You whispered.

He nodded and rested his forehead against the crook of your neck. "Is that all you want from me tonight?"

[happyyyandcrazyyy]

being james potter’s childhood best friend would include:

in other words: in which you and james potter are and will always be best friends

warnings: a little bit of angst at the end

is this my way of writing a story without actually writing a story? why, yes. it is.

gif’s not mine

you were destined to be best friends

i mean, either you were going to be best friends or you were going to hate each other

because, see, your parents had known each other their whole lives

your fathers were best friends

his dad was your dad’s best man (and vice versa)

your mothers became close friends the instant they met

they even got pregnant around the same time

when they found out they were pregnant (and that the babies were going to be born only days apart) they started planning play dates

so, as you can see, there was really no escaping the intertwining of your lives

when you were babies, barely months old, your mum would place you both in the same cradle for nap time

when she would check up on your she would always find your little hands wrapped together

even as babies you found comfort in the proximity of each other

you were raised and grew up together

vacations, holidays, random trips to Diagon Alley and muggle London, the Quidditch Cup? all of that was done along with his family

basically, you couldn’t remember a moment of your life in which James hadn’t been present

being the only person he allows to call him Jay and him being the only one to call you (Y/N/N)

more than your best friend, he was the older brother you never had

because, yes, he was older than you by a day

and he never let you forget it

“I wanna ride the Nimbus, Jay!”

“Well, I’m older and so I get the best broom. Grab the Comet.”

“A day, James Potter. You’re older by a day.”

“Best day of m’life.”

that would earn him a punch in the shoulder

he really did live up to the older brother title

pranks? you were his first victim (and things only got more hectic once he met Sirius Black)

he knew you better than you knew yourself and he used that knowledge to annoy you endlessly

teasing you was one of his favorite activities

sometimes he would grab at your ponytail and pull softly just because he knew you hated when he did that

that would result in you pinching his arm, hard

you fought like siblings do

“James, give it back!”

“You want it? Come get it.”

“I’ll tell mum.”

“Five galleons says you won’t.”

there were also silly arguments

“Chew with your mouth closed, don’t be gross.”

James would proceed to open his mouth (filled with half-chewed food) at you, smirking when he saw you dramatically gag

“You’re disgusting.”

he would only chew louder in response

he always saw you as his irritating baby sister

the one person that drove him up the wall but also the only one to whom he could tell everything and anything without feeling judged

you know every single Beatles song because he loved muggle music (and he basically forced you to listen along with him)

and he learned how to braid because there was this one time you broke your arm and couldn’t do it yourself

he mainly learned out of guilt as it was basically his fault that you broke your arm

he became quite good at braiding and sometimes, when you were tired, you would ask him to do your hair

he would whine in annoyance but always gave in (because, for one, he could never say no to you when you pouted and two, he kind of enjoyed braiding)

gifting each other matching bracelets and only ever taking them off to replace them with new ones

“Taking it off is worse than snitching,” he once told you regarding the bracelet. “As long as we both have it on then we’re together even when we’re apart.”

you had a room at his place

it was meant to be a visitor’s room but you claimed it

not only did you have a room but half of your wardrobe was in that closet since you spent most of your time there

whenever he slept over at your place you shared your bed (which could get really annoying because he moved around a lot when he sleeps)

one of your drawers was reserved for him

and he had a toothbrush and his own shampoo in your bathroom

his parents were your second parents (you called his mother ‘mum’ and his father ‘dad’ and he did the same with your parents)

you would even say that his mum loved you best

you’re the little girl she always wanted

and he would counter that your mum loved him best

which you couldn’t really argue, because she did have a soft spot for him

his dad taught you how to ride a broom (because your parents had absolutely no talent when it came to Quidditch)

and ever since you got the hang of it, every free moment of your life before Hogwarts was spent playing Quidditch with James

he was kind of surprised (and maybe even a little jealous) because you were bloody good at the game

but the jealousy disappeared when he realized how good of a team you two made

still, you always had a friendly competitiveness between you two. it was productive as it helped you both work even harder to beat the other

when you both got your Hogwarts letters you were thrilled seeing as you’ve been talking about going to Hogwarts forever

compared to James, you tended to be more quiet and shy, especially around people you didn’t know

but, as they watched the Hogwarts Express leave the platform, your parents weren’t even slight worried, they knew that as long as you had James by your side you’d be alright

James befriended Sirius instantly and, surprisingly, it didn’t take much for you to open up to him

it took you a while longer to open up to Remus, who you found a little intimidating

but as soon as you did you became good friends

you weren’t precisely a marauder

going around the castle causing mayhem really wasn’t you ideal scenario

but you were close to all of them

close enough that Remus himself told you about his lycanthropy before anyone else

close enough that Sirius allowed you to braid his hair whenever you got bored (he would never admit it but the feeling of your fingers running through his head felt quite nice)

close enough that they informed you of their plan of becoming animagi

from the beginning it became quite evident that you and James were a package deal and that never changed, not even as the years went by

it annoyed the professors to no end

“Mr. Potter will be partnered with-”

“Ms. (Y/L/N).”

“No.”

“Yes.”

at first they wouldn’t give in, but when they realized you were the only person on the entire planet who could keep him under control they just let you two be

you were basically joined at the hip, to the point where people were kind of surprised when they saw either of you without the other

everyone soon came to realize what an amazing duo you were

not only in life but at Quidditch

“Potter and (Y/L/N) are on fire today. That’s 10 more points for Gryffindor.”

out of the two of you, you were always the one with common sense

therefore, you acted as his conscience

“What if we blow up the-”

“James Fleamont Potter, there is not going to be any blowing up.”

“Such a killjoy.”

“This killjoy is keeping you from being expelled, dumbass.”

he was all about showing his love in a physical way

so your friendship was filled with side hugs and cuddles and stolen sweatshirts

you were so close that, as you get older, people began to wonder when you would start dating

you both full on laughed whenever a comment along the lines of “so when are you getting together” was made

because, even when you were aware of how handsome James Potter was getting, you used to take baths with him

you knew him too well

you had seen him at his best and at his worst

and you loved him, you always would

but, even when you didn’t share blood, he was your brother

and only that

he felt the exact same way

thinking about being with you in a romantic way kind of freaked him out

you were soulmates

anyone could appreciate that

but just platonic soulmates

he was fiercely protective over you

so when you told him that you’re going out on a date he was obviously not excited

“But what are you going to do?”

“We’re going for lunch at Madam Puddifoot’s and that’s all.”

he nearly choked on his own saliva

“Madam— You’re going to Madam Puddifoot’s.”

“Glad to know your hearing works.”

“But— but— People go there to—”

“Snog. Yes. Maybe if I’m lucky—”

“No! There will be no snogging for you little miss.”

“Who are you? My mum?”

“I’m just-”

he was out of words but you knew what he was trying to say

he was just looking out for you, as he had done his entire life

and it was sweet of him

but you were capable of taking care of yourself (growing up alongside him meant you learned a trick or two when it came to self defense)

So you pecked his cheek and told him, “I’ll be fine, Jay. I’ll see you later.”

and everything went perfectly fine

still, when you made it back to the Gryffindor Common Room, he was there, waiting for you to get back

and you knew he was waiting for you, even when he tried to brush it off by saying he was working on his charms essay because, well, James Potter was a procrastinator

doing a charms essay that's due in two weeks? yeah, could’ve fooled me.

he never outright approved of anyone you dated

in his mind there was no one good enough for you

but he did act nice towards your partners because all he truly wanted was to see you happy

he would’ve done anything for you

when some older boys were teasing you and he found you alone in an empty corridor, bawling your eyes out, he was livid

no one hurts his friends, especially not his little sister

the next day two of the guys who’d been bothering you were hit with a hex that caused them to lose their hair and the other one, the one who’d been the most vicious, found his skin filled with something that looked sort of like chicken pox

James didn’t say a thing but you knew that was his (and the Marauders) doing and so you squeezed his hand as a ‘thanks’

he had his own way of looking out for you

his hugs were the best, especially after a long and tiring day

you were the one that noticed his very evident crush on Lily Evans

and after he realized just how much he liked her you were the one he went to for advice

“You’re not gonna win her over by calling her pet names.”

“How would you know?”

“Because she’s my friend and— I mean—really? Lilyflower?”

“It’s cute!”

“It is everything but cute.”

but you still helped him out

because, well, he was hopeless

and because you wanted to see him happy

and also because you thought they would actually make a cute couple

that is if Lily got around the fact that she actually didn’t dislike him quite as much as she pretended to 

a little jealousy from Lily’s side towards your friendship once she started dating him

but that going away when she saw you wrestle around for the last brownie, you elbowing him in the stomach and him putting you in a headlock

she realized you truly were siblings in every sense of the word when you licked the hand he placed over your mouth and he wiped it on your face

lots of detentions together

and not because you actually had to be in detention but because he basically dragged you along with him

“I’m not doing this for you. I’ve got nothing better to do, really.”

but you were doing it for him, because you knew how bored he got (especially since Professor McGonagall decided that the Marauders were to serve detention far away from one another)

and, although he never said it out loud, you knew he appreciated the company

and, besides, annoying him was one of your favorite things to do and detention was the perfect opportunity to do so

“I think you missed a spot there.”

“Enjoying this, are you?”

“Very much.”

“You’re a prick.”

“Wouldn’t it be nice if Potter had to conduct his punishment without any use of magic, Mr. Filch?”

“I hate you.”

but he doesn’t, not that much anyways

because he knew that, after watching him struggle for your own amusement, you would eventually lend him your wand

letting him copy of your essays

him whispering the answers to tests whenever he saw you struggling

staying at his place during Christmas and helping Mrs. Potter make dinner

watching Christmas movies late at night the week leading up to Christmas day

joining the Order together and promising each other that you’ll stay safe

graduating Hogwarts top of the class

and never letting him forget that you got better grades than he did

being best woman at his wedding (Sirius was also the best man but James was adamant that you had to have a special role as well)

being the first person he calls to let them know that him and Lily are having a baby

lowkey freaking out in excitement but managing to keep your composure

“I don’t know how I feel about a mini you running around but knowing that the babe will be half Lily sort of eases my mind.”

“You are the worst.”

“I’m kidding, Jay. I’m really happy for you. Have you told mum yet? She’s going to lose her mind.”

him confiding in you about how worried he was about parenthood

“You’ll be a great dad, James. I know you will.”

trying out for the Holyhead Harpies because he insisted you had the talent needed to make it to the professional Quidditch league

to your surprise, you actually made the team

“Never once doubted you.”

being named Harry’s godmother and pushing back the tears as you held the little one in your arms for the first time

“Thank Godric he looks nothing like you,” you joked as you looked down at the carbon copy of your best friend.

him calling you up late at night one day and asking to meet up

“If something were to happen to Lily and I— you and Sirius, uh, you would look after Harry right?”

“Of course we would,” you responded immediately as you took his hand in yours. “But nothings gonna happen to either of you. We’re all going to be fine.”

you shared a look and although neither of you said a single word you understood each other perfectly; there was no assurance either of you would be alright, not with Voldemort actively searching for them, desperate to hunt them down

he pulled you in for a hug as you went your separate ways that night and you clung onto him, as if your body could sense that would be the last time you would ever see him alive

you took him in, everything about him, from his cinnamon smell to the way his hands always rubbed your back when he hugged you

as you looked up to him you couldn’t help the tears that fell from your eyes

“I love you, Jay. Always.”

maybe he too felt that this way goodbye because he pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead

“And I you, (Y/N/N). Never forget that.”

and just like that he was gone

something snapped inside you the day he died, as if your heart was shattering into pieces, but you always kept his memory alive

you carried James in your heart and mind and you saw him in your godson every single day (after all the little baby boy shared every single trait with his father but his eyes)

you would go on to raise Harry and watch him grow into a man you were incredibly proud of

you had no doubt his parents were equally as proud

and then, eventually, the Dark Lord would be defeated and life would go on

you would fall in love and have kids of your own

but you never once took off the last friendship bracelet he’d given you

because, as he had once told you, even when you weren’t together you weren’t truly apart

he was and would always be your best friend

[idkthisisjustforfanfic]

that makes four.

story page | talk to me + join the tag list

PART 1

Your feet dangled down from the stool, elbows on the granite counter when Jeff turned around. “Alright,” he said, lips in a thin smile when he revealed the plate of reheated lasagna that someone dropped off in the last few days. “Smells good.”

You looked up at him with an unimpressed stare. “It looks a little disgusting.”

“It’s vegan, I think.”

“Jesus,” you rolled your eyes. “You start one all natural skincare line and people think you only eat plant-based shit.”

He let out a small laugh, set the plate down and watched as you picked up the fork. One bite--mediocre. Not exactly hot enough, but after all Jeff had done for you the last few days, you didn’t have the heart to demand he put it in for another minute.

“So--do you think it went well?”

You laughed around the food in your mouth, picked up a paper napkin and let your head tilt to the side. “As good as a funeral could be.”

The lights in your kitchen were dim and the sun had already faded behind the trees, the house quiet after people finally filed out. Friends, extended family, strangers you’d never met had flocked to Los Angeles for the funeral of your famous father.

It’d been coming from a mile away. His health declined, an obvious result of the cocaine and the cigarettes and whatever else he’d ingested regularly in the 70s. A heart attack a year ago put him on a fast track to the afterlife, but he always joked that he’d probably end up in hell.

Being in the music industry ruined him, in a way--it ruined your parents’ marriage and it ruined a lot of the relationships your father had. Blow outs and big fights that left him exiled from a lot of social circles, sometimes never speaking to people again after one bad phone call. But it was never like that with Irv.

“Well, I’ve never seen my dad cry so hard,” Jeff smiled. “He really loved him.”

Another bite of the soggy noodles and fake cheese. “I know.”

A comfortable silence, the doors off the kitchen were open, a breeze from the backyard let the southern California warmth blow through the sheer curtains when you sipped at your left over wine.

Jeff was the closest thing you had to a sibling, his family was all you had left at this point. You were tossed in the bathtub with him and his siblings as a baby, shoved into family photos and tagged along for vacations.

Being closest in age to Jeff meant people always hoped it would be the two of you that would end up together. Happily ever after or having babies of your own. But when you saw Jeff wolf down a whole pizza at his bar mitzvah, any hope of a spark between the two of you had been permanently extinguished.

His older sister was the one who told you what it meant to have sex, and after your mom died, his mom helped you pick out a dress for your Sweet Sixteen.

She was the one who talked you off the ledge when you found out you were pregnant only a few years later, she was the one who threw you both baby showers and she was the one who helped you through your divorce only six months earlier.

So now that your dad was gone, too, you wondered where you fit into their family and what your definition of family even was.

Before the thought could cross your mind, the front door was pushed open and the sound of high pitched giggles floated in from the foyer.

CeCe’s tiny voice echoed down the hall. “Uncle Jeff?”

“Is that my CeCe?” He took a few steps forward and she ran straight into his legs, he hoisted her up onto his hip when Maeve rounded the corner with Tristan in tow.

“Hi honey,” you opened an arm so your ten-year-old could fit into the side of you. She leaned her head on her shoulder. “How was ice cream?”

The easiest ploy to get them out of the house while you hosted some kind of awkward afterparty.

“Fine,” she sighed. “But Tristan said that funerals are a selfish attempt by the living to hold on to someone after they’re dead.”

You blinked a few times and looked down at her, shocked by the words and apparently, her ability to understand them. You looked over at Tristan, arched eyebrows to communicate how displeased you were.

His eyes went wide when Jeff choked down a laugh. “I didn’t--I don’t know what you’re talking about Maeve.”

You kissed Maeve on the head. “Well, Tristan is wrong about a lot of things, trust me. But you two should go get ready for bed, it’s been a long day.”

You looked over at him again--younger by two years and easily one of the most important people in your life. You met him only a year after you started your business, he had a knack for brand management and eye for design that you couldn’t pass up. He was way too sarcastic and cynical to be your regular babysitter, but Jeff and his family were basically in the receiving line beside you.

Jeff let CeCe climb down and Maeve took her by the hand as they headed for the kitchen stairs to the second floor, leaving you alone at the island with two of your closest friends.

He waited until he heard the water turn on from their bathroom sink, then whispered in Tristan’s direction. “Great idea to say that to a ten-year-old and a six-year-old after their grandpa dies.”

Tristan rolled his eyes theatrically, “she asked why so many people came and why she’d never met any of them if they loved her grandpa so much.”

“Well, you can expect a bill for their therapy in a few years,” you laughed, forking more lasagna into your mouth.

Tristan made his way over to the fridge and pulled out the glass dish, helping himself to a piece when Jeff took a seat beside you. “How are you holding up?”

“Fine,” you glanced at him sideways, suspicious about any ulterior motive he might have.

“Okay, Y/N,” Jeff laughed, Tristan eyed you from over his shoulder like he didn’t believe you. “Let me try again. How are you feeling emotionally?”

You cleared your throat and swallowed the most recent bite of dinner. “Oh, you mean cause my husband left me six months ago and my dad just died and now I’m a single mom with two fiesty daughters who just inherited a giant house aaaaaand,” you drew out the word for dramatic effect. “I’m a business owner who barely gets any sleep?”

“That’s what I was getting at, yes,” Jeff nodded and fought a smirk.

“I’m alright,” you sighed. “Tired. Kind of freaked out about what the fuck is going on in my life, but, I’ll survive. I always survive."

You knew you would--in fact, you’d been waiting for this moment for the last few weeks. When Jeff’s mom called to tell you your dad needed to be put in hospice, you prepared. You talked to Maeve and CeCe and explained it all in a way they’d understand. His life on earth is over, but we can still talk to him and visit a pretty garden to remember him.

It was a lot to deal with only a few months after your high school sweetheart turned husband admitted he’d been having an affair and moved out, you saw on Facebook that he’d since bought a motorcycle and was spending most of his time at bars along the coast. That whole fiasco was harder to explain to your children.

And now suddenly everyone wanted to make sure you were okay. Frozen dinners, offers to drive your kids to and from their extracurriculars, a lot of attention was suddenly thrust onto you and your family, as if you hadn’t always hated that growing up.

But you knew the time would come when life would settle back down. Cousins and aunts and uncles would fly home, people would stop asking how you were doing post divorce. Dust would settle and the sun would set on this chapter and frankly, it couldn’t happen soon enough.

So here you were, the funeral was over, the dinner in his honor at Jeff’s parents, the media coverage was starting to die down and life could return to normal. Or, at least, a new normal.

Your dad had been a fixture in your life--weekly dinner dates with grandpa gave you a minute to yourself after working long days and answering endless phone calls. A glass of wine on the couch or even dinner with Tristan and Zoey was a nice escape from breaking up fights or figuring out how to reattach the head of a Barbie doll after someone shoved someone into a closet and tears and screaming ensued.

“You will definitely survive,” Jeff nodded.

Tristan came and sat, forked into the lasagna and made a face when he realized how bad it was. “Is this fake cheese?”

“Unfortunately,” you nodded.

Tristan made a face and then cleared his throat. “I, for one, think this is the start of a new chapter for you. New opportunities, new love,” he smirked.

A quick retort: “Yeah, that’s obviously the first priority right now.”

“He’s right, though,” Jeff said. “You have a fresh start, a totally new chapter.”

You nodded--they were right, but easing into a new chapter felt a lot better than trying to dive right in.

“Speaking of a fresh start, you know, changing things up,” Jeff forced a grin in your direction. “Can we actually talk for a second?”

You eyed him suspiciously, put your fork down to bow out from eating the world’s worst lasagna. “Yeah?”

“I have kind of a weird favor to ask. And--I know it’s kind of bad timing, with everything going on, but--just hear me out, okay?”

Instead of replying, you watched him, lifted your brows to encourage him to continue and tread carefully.

“So I have a client who isn’t from here, he bought a house but it’s in the middle of getting renovated. There’s kind of been a lot going on, it’s a long story.”

“Okay,” you nodded, unsure where he was going with it.

“He needs a place to stay, and I was wondering if maybe he could stay here for a little.”

“Here, like, here here?” You pointed to the floor of your kitchen, an elegant upgrade from the more modest house in Woodland Hills you’d occupied before the divorce.

Along with the death of your father came the inheritance of his Bel Air estate and all of the bedrooms, the four car garage, the manicured lawn and the pool out back. Some people thought you should sell it, use the cash to make trusts for the girls or save for college.

Selling it didn’t feel right, though. It was the house he worked so hard for, the house you called home for the later half of your teen years and the place you always came back to when things got hard. So instead of putting it on the market and closing that chapter, once again, you returned to the safe haven in the hills when you didn’t know where else to turn.

“Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but you have the room and it might be fun to have someone else around and--”

“I have two daughters, Jeff, I can’t just let a stranger live with us.”

“He’s not a stranger, Y/N, he’s my friend. We’re really close.”

“Who is he?” Tristan asked, waving his fork in the air to remind us that he was still present.

“Harry Styles.”

Tristan’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. “The kid from the boyband?”

“No way,” you shook your head, dismissing it before you could even let his name register. “I’m not having a pop star boy band kid stay in my house.”

“Okay,” Jeff held up a hand to get Tristan to relax, then moved to point at you. “He’s 24, number one. He’s not a kid, he’s, like, only a few years younger than us.”

“Yes,” you nodded, “exactly. I don’t need a 24-year-old living with my daughters.”

“He’s not like that, though. He’s responsible and he’s a family friendly dude, and--”

“Then why can’t he live with you? Or with your parents?”

“I don’t have the room,” he said. “And my dad hates house guests.”

You rolled your eyes, it was obnoxious, but it was true. Irv hated having people stay over almost as much as he hated it when your dad beat him in golf.

Jeff took your silence as an opportunity to continue selling you on the idea. “He just finished his tour, he’s working on his second album. He’s probably going to be in the studio a lot, Y/N. Do you really think I would let some crazy party animal live with my nieces?”

Another eye roll from both you and Tristan.

“Is this like, just a few nights?” You asked.

“Like, two weeks. Tops.”

“Two weeks?!” You shook your head. “No--I can’t put them through that after all the shit that’s been going on this year. Why can’t he just stay in a hotel?”

“Cause that’s lonely and he’s a people person and--I don’t know, it might be good for you to have someone around.”

You rolled your eyes that, was it a jab at your new status as a single mom or new status as a fatherless daughter? Unsure.

Jeff stood from the counter and grabbed for his phone on the far end of the island. “Just think about it, okay? I’ve gotta run. A few weeks, built in babysitting, maybe--he’s great with kids.”

“I’ve already thought about it,” you told him, resting your chin in your hand and offering a sugary sweet smile. “No fucking way.”

“Mommy!” CeCe’s voice called from upstairs, you hoisted yourself up, ready to tuck them in and forget that Jeff had ever asked such a ludicrous question.

“I would owe you big time--it might be fun! You’ve got the room, he could be a positive male influence on the girls.” He wiggled his eyebrows at the end of his sentence--like that would really sway you.

“And I’m not that?” Tristan pulled his head back, offended.

“You’re the one who told them funerals are stupid,” Jeff said with a sarcastic smirk.

“And you’re the crazy one trying to let a stranger move in here like it’s an AirBnB,” you shot back at Jeff. “So maybe they do need a better male influence than both of you.”

“Mommy!” CeCe called again, more impatient this time.

“I’m coming!” You shouted. “You, let yourself out when you’re finished eating this terrible meal,” you pointed at Tristan and the lasagna. “And you,” you pointed at Jeff with a smirk. “Please never speak to me again.”

He was already heading for the door, keys in hand when he blew you a kiss. “Love you, see you soon!”

“Love you,” you called back, bounding up the stairs, mom mode activated.

**

A text message the next day when you were at work:

Jeff Azoff (1:43pm): 🙏😇🙏😇

You blew air from your lips, Zoey sat across from you at a conference table when you took a late lunch. She was the first friend you made when you started high school, your long time confidant aside from Tristan and Jeff and a sure bet to tell it like it is.

Now she regularly popped into the Luna offices and she loved nothing more than acting like she was a higher up at your business. She’d rather be doing that than admit she was a new mom with no clue what the next chapter of her life would look like. You had that in common.

Her two-month-old son, Benny, sat in a carrier on the ground, his eyelashes fluttered when Zoey put her feet up on the chair beside her.

“What’s the sigh for?”

“Jeff is being annoying.”

“What’d he do now?”

You looked over at her, nose deep in her phone when you took another bite of the burrito bowl she’d picked up for you. You didn’t know if it was worth it to explain it all. Zoey was excitable, never one to turn down an adventure and her aptly timed identity crisis that came with becoming a mom was sure to make her encourage bad decisions even more.

She looked up at you, suddenly aware of the wheels spinning in your mind.

“Spill it,” she instructed. She put her phone down and let out a breath, clasped her hands and waited for you to fill her in.

“He asked me to let a friend of his stay with us in my dad’s house.”

“Your house,” she corrected. “Deed’s in your name now.”

“My house,” you nodded. “And I feel weird about it.”

“Who’s the friend?”

“Some client of his,” you tried to wave it off as if the name didn’t matter.

It didn’t, really. You’d long been exposed to the rich and famous just because of the nature of your father’s work. He was one of the biggest managers in the music industry in partnership with Jeff’s dad, so you were no stranger to beautiful people with beautiful cars and beautiful homes. When Jeff took on the family business, you only grew more accustomed to it.

“So a celebrity?” she shimmied her shoulders in excitement. “Which one?”

“Harry Styles,” you said the name slowly, quietly, even though it was just the two of you in the second floor conference room and even though this was your office that you bought and you owned and you ran.

“He’s hot,” she nodded casually, less impressed than you’d expected.

“He’s also like twenty-something, so it's disgusting for you to say that.”

“Oh relax,” she dismissed your concern. “He could be your pool boy.”

Zoey--who also grew up in Southern California and spent plenty of time at your house as a kid--hadn’t yet grown so accustomed to the coming and going of celebrities. Her parents owned a florist shop in Santa Monica and in high school you had to tell her she could only come to a Britney Spears concert if she didn’t cry when you inevitably met her in the green room thanks to your dad.

“I have children,” you reminded her. “A ten-year-old who might as well be fifteen and a six-year-old who would think I literally bought her a human playmate.”

“But if he’s friends with Jeff I highly doubt he’s a serial killer,” she reasoned.

“Wow, you are completely missing the point.”

“What’s the point, then?”

“It’s weird--I can’t have a stranger move in with my kids.”

“Why not?”

“Because first their dad left us and now their grandpa died.”

“Sounds like they need a new man in their life.”

You ignored the similarity of her words with Jeff’s from the other night. “I just think it’s crazy.”

“Okay,” she sat up straight and suddenly looked like this was morphing into a business conversation. “How long?”

“Two weeks.”

“Oh my god,” she turned her palms towards the sky. “Just do it.”

“What? No!”

“It’s two weeks--it’ll take your mind off of all the shit that’s been going on, it’ll be a fun distraction for the girls. You have so much space in that house you will never even know he’s there. And you’re helping a friend.”

She wasn’t wrong: Harry could likely stay in the bedroom all the way on the other end of the hall from where the girls slept. Maeve was thrilled to get her own room in the move and CeCe would occasionally run into your room after a nightmare, so the space was a plus.

He’d have his own room, his own bathroom. Hell, he could even park in the extra garage and enter from the back of the house. Maybe you wouldn’t even notice he existed.

You sighed, tugged at your necklace when you met her gaze. “I just feel really protective over them right now. I feel like Luke ruined their sense of family and now with my dad gone--”

She stuck her tongue out in disgust at the sound of your ex’s name. “I get that--but they have you. They have Jeff and his family and they have me and Shawn and now Benny.”

You offered a small smile at her reassurance. She was right in a lot of ways. The Azoffs were as much a family to your daughters as they had been to you. Shelli and Irv were like grandparents, they offered to babysit plenty of times and they always managed to get the girls the most amazing birthday presents.

But something in you knew it wasn’t the same. You’d dreamed of giving your daughters the sense of family you never had: a mom and a dad who loved each other. One house, not two that had two different beds and sets of books or toys.

Luckily and unluckily, your ex hadn’t made a huge deal about custody. Visits here and there were outlined in your divorce papers, but at this point in time he didn’t seem the most interested in maintaining a relationship with his daughters, even though he promised way back when that he’d never leave.

Getting pregnant with him during college wasn’t planned, but he swore you’d make it work and you tied the knot only a few months before Maeve was born. Things were good at first, you always knew you’d have more than one--if only to combat your own only-child loneliness--and then CeCe came five years later when you felt a little more prepared.

“I don’t think it’s going to traumatize them, Y/N. I mean, the least you could do is meet the guy.”

You watched her for a minute, blew air from your nose in a huff before you picked up your phone.

Y/N L/N (1:56pm): Fine. I’ll meet him.

Three days later you pulled up to a cafe in Brentwood and took a deep breath in the parking lot. If he was creepy, you wouldn’t go for it. If you got even the slightest weird vibe from him, you’d ex-communicate Jeff and only go over to visit his parents with the girls when he wasn’t around.

You’d already been leaning towards just doing it, especially once Tristan got a glass of wine in you and reminded you what your dad would have said: he who helps is one who prospers.

A few sleepless nights left you staring at the ceiling and wondering if you were crazy. You just now had the chance to let life settle down and here you were, mourning the loss of your biggest supporter, trying to piece yourself back together post divorce, and considering letting a stranger move in? Grief really did do strange things to people.

But when you walked in and found them sitting at a table in the back, something clicked.

Your dad was already fond of your possible houseguest, which you only knew from overhearing previous conversations between him and Irv about how proud they were of Jeff for picking up the family business, and now it all made sense.

A small part of you--probably the stupidest part of you--wondered if there was something cosmic about it. Your dad was always one to let his artists stay in the house, if they weren’t creepy, of course. You grew up with bands rehearsing in the backyard and going to shows at the Troubadour before you were old enough to drive, and you turned out fine.

“Hi,” Harry stood, offered a hand and introduced himself after Jeff gave you a kiss on the cheek. “Harry, pleasure to meet you.” Polite, maybe a bit of a kiss ass. Your dad must have loved him.

“Y/N,” you nodded, sat down when Jeff tugged out a chair for you. “Thanks for--uh--meeting with me, I guess.”

“Thanks for maybe letting me stay at your house,” he offered a sheepish smile, held your gaze for a second when Jeff adjusted the sunglasses clipped to his shirt.

“I’m actually surprised you guys haven’t met before,” he said.

“I’ve been a little busy this year,” you reminded him with a nod. “But--nice to finally meet you.”

Harry nodded, a dimple in his left cheek ignited a tiny spark in your chest, but you pushed Zoey’s words out of your mind. Two weeks, it wasn’t a big deal. He’d be in and out and this would be a blip on the radar.

“We can order coffee or something, but Y/N, I’m assuming you have like, a whole interrogation mapped out?”

You pretended to laugh at Jeff’s joke, turned to Harry and offered a no-nonsense smile. “I have two children, I got divorced earlier this year and my dad just died. So I don’t need any drama or anything. This is temporary and I’m doing this to help out a friend. Jeff, that is, not you.”

He laughed at your clarification and nodded. “Right. This is just me living in your house. No drama. Short-term.”

“And obviously my children will be there, so no guests.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Okay I’m not that much older than you,” you said it quickly, offered a small smile when he looked a little scared.

“Sorry--no, I didn’t mean that in a rude way.”

“No ma’am,” you added a rule, pulling a laugh from both of them when you lifted another finger in the air to count them off. “No drugs or alcohol, unless it’s like a glass of wine at dinner or something,” you shrugged.

“Look,” Jeff leaned forward. “Y/N’s kids are great, she’s got a great skincare company and she’s a kickass human. And you need a place to stay, so don’t fuck this up.”

“You both have my word. No drugs, no alcohol, no guests, no ma’am,” he smirked in your direction. “I’ve lived alone for a while, so, it’ll be nice to have some roommates.”

You nodded slowly and watched him for a second. A hoodie with the name of the management firm your dad and Irv had started, a backwards baseball hat and simple Ray-Bans. You ignored the fluttering in your veins from just looking at him, your own words echoed against the walls of your skull: he’s also like twenty-something, so that’s disgusting.

This was his brand, you were sure. Something Jeff had worked hard on--the looks, the smile, the exact formula that management firms drooled over was playing out in front of you. You sipped your drink once the waiter delivered three cappuccinos. Two weeks, tops.

**

Los Angeles afternoons were meant for playing outside, which is what your daughters did best if they weren’t busy pulling each other’s hair. You had dinner on the stove--enough for five--and a knot of nerves in your stomach when the wheels of his fancy car crunched atop the gravel.

The girls ran to greet him and Jeff showed him around the house. Now, Harry sat across from you at the table, Maeve to his left with an unimpressed look on her face when you cleared your throat. “Okay, gratitude time.”

Jeff set his fork back down, a guilty look on his face to admit he’d forgotten about your pre-dinner ritual.

CeCe squirmed in her seat, let out a sigh when Maeve protested with a flutter of her eyelashes. “I don’t have anything to be thankful for,” she informed you.

“That feels a little hard to believe,” you nodded, losing patience for her attitude over the last few days. “CeCe, do you want to go?”

Your younger daughter looked up at you, scrunched her mouth and thought about it. “I don’t have anything either.”

You tried not to groan aloud. After the week you’d had and the sudden changes in your life, disciplining your daughters felt like the last thing you wanted to do, if only they’d just behave.

“I can go,” Harry lifted his hand sheepishly as if he was sitting in a classroom and not in your dining room, a dimple on his cheek when he smiled sheepishly.

“Take it away,” you motioned towards him.

“M’thankful for being here, having a place to stay--and what looks like it will be a delicious meal.” By now he had a bit of smug look on his face, maybe proud of the fact that he’d broken the ice and stepped up to the pre-dinner prompt.

“Mom’s cooking is a solid six out of ten on a good day,” Maeve looked over at him, her fork now in her hand as if she was ready to dig in.

“Okay,” you leaned in and caught her gaze. “Drop the attitude or go to your room.”

“I’m thankful for Emma,” she named her friend, her quick submission after she rolled her eyes told you she just wanted to eat and get this over with. “She warned me today that Hayley was wearing a shirt I wore last week so I think she’s copying me.”

“Okay,” you nodded, you’d accept anything at this point. “CeCe? Last chance.”

“I’m grateful for pudding.”

Harry let out a quiet laugh, you nodded and said: “Great. I’m thankful for you two,” you smiled at them, hopeful that this nightly tradition would hold some type of meaning, more than just eye rolls and pre-pubescent angst from Maeve.

Jeff looked over at the girls, “I’m thankful for my friend Harry getting to meet my other friends, CeCe and Maeve.”

“Aww,” Harry smiled, a hand clutched to his heart when he looked between them.

“Alright,” you were annoyed by how good your daughters were at turning on their charm for anyone but you. Jeff was often the fun uncle, just like your ex had been the fun dad, which left you forcing them to play this gratitude game every night after they finished their homework.

CeCe wasted no time digging into the spaghetti on her plate, leaving Jeff to ask Maeve: “so what are you going to do about Hayley?”

“I don’t know,” Maeve sighed. “She’ll die when she finds out that you’re sleeping over,” she pointed her fork at Harry.

“He’s not sleeping over,” you corrected. “He’s staying in one of the guest rooms, remember?” You’d already explained it a few times to them. A few weeks, he’s working on more music, he’ll be busy, he’s not here to play with you.

“Whatever,” Maeve said. “Maybe I’ll hold it over her.”

“Maeve,” you looked over, unsure what had gotten into her. “I thought we talked about this stuff with Hayley?”

“I know--but she just keeps annoying me,” Maeve explained.

“Dump pasta on her head,” CeCe suggested with a giggle.

“Don’t do that,” you looked at CeCe and poked her in the stomach.

“I personally am a big fan of that idea,” Jeff smiled over at CeCe. “But it’d probably be better to just forget about it. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”

“Or the sincerest form of annoying,” she retorted.

Harry let out a laugh at that, caught your gaze when you wondered how soon it’d take him to get annoyed with your kids.

They were great--smart, funny, clever, definitely witty and sometimes dramatic. But they were good kids.

You remembered how tough it was to adapt to motherhood, even though they were your own. Something told you that Harry, no matter how short his stay would be, was not in the chapter of his life that entailed finding joy in playdates and pillow fights.

But he made it through dinner, quiet but friendly and as soon as Maeve was finished, she begged him to play squishball outside before sunset.

“Squishball?” his eyebrows dipped together. “Never heard of it.”

“It’s basically just baseball but with a softer bat and a foam ball cause mom doesn’t want us to break our skulls,” Maeve informed.

“I never said break your skulls,” you argued.

“But it’s what you meant,” she shrugged.

“I would love to play,” Harry laughed, unbelievably entertained by the back and forth he’d already witnessed. They yanked him outside and set up their tiny diamond, CeCe pulled on a tutu just for flair and you and Jeff were left to handle the aftermath of a family dinner.

Jeff put the final plate into the dishwasher after a little bit and offered a hesitant smile when he turned around. “So?”

“So what? It’s been like an hour and a half of him being here.”

Their laughter from outside was audible, CeCe shrieked when Maeve made contact with the bat and sent the ball soaring into the air. “The girls clearly love him.”

“Of course they do--they love anyone for the first two hours.”

“I think he’ll be good for you guys.”

You rolled your eyes, wiped the counter with the sponge when he continued.

“And you guys will be good for him.”

This got your attention. “How so?”

“He’s a people-person, never likes being on his own too much. Some structure and responsibility is good for him.”

“So I’m babysitting him?”

“Oh my god,” he laughed. “Relax, will you? This could be a mutually beneficial thing if you let it, that’s all I’m saying.”

You didn’t read too much into it, you figured Jeff was peppering you with reassurance only to calm your nerves or quell your concerns. When he was finished helping you clean, he hugged the girls goodbye and waved over his shoulder, leaving Harry alone in your house with you and your daughters and nothing but good intentions.

You left him downstairs at first, helped CeCe brush her hair and sat on the floor when Maeve picked out her clothes for the next day: hopefully Hayley doesn’t own this dress.

When you headed back downstairs an hour later, the girls were tucked in, the lights were off, and your usual plan would have been to check your work emails if it weren’t for the dimpled guy in your living room.

He stood at the bookcase, hands clasped behind his back when you found him.

“Hi, sorry--bedtime is always a--” you paused, not even knowing the right label. “A shit show. But thanks for playing with them earlier.”

He laughed, turned around and offered a smile. “No worries--they seem like great kids.”

“They are,” you assured. “Maeve’s been a bit snarky lately but I think that’s just the whole beginning of puberty thing.” You cringed a little when the words left your mouth, wondering if it was too much information for someone who likely had cooler things to do than talk about ten-year-olds and training bras.

But he smiled, shoved his hands in his pockets when you said: let me show you around.

He’d arrived at the worst time. Homework, dinner prep, CeCe crying because Maeve finished her homework first. You didn’t have the chance to give him a tour and you figured it would be better coming from you than from Jeff, that way you could remind him of all the rules.

You showed him the ground floor first. The library, the family room, the two offices and the three different remotes that all worked different TVs or speakers or lamps. He marveled at the pictures on the wall in your dad’s old office space, he was a legend, he told you.

He climbed the stairs behind you and whispered in response when you pointed out what was behind each door. Bathroom, Maeve’s room, CeCe’s room, guest room, another bathroom, master suite, guest room, his room.

You pushed the door open and stepped aside to let him in. Gray walls, a wooden four-post king-sized bed. Throw pillows you’d picked out when you moved in a few weeks ago, a dresser to the left. He looked around and nodded. “S’perfect.”

“Good,” you said, walking over to a small linen closet in his attached bath. “Towels are in here, should be soap and stuff in the shower--had our housekeeper stock it.”

“Thanks,” he nodded again.

“I don’t know where you parked, but there’s a garage in the back that my dad used to keep some of his sports cars in--there’s definitely room and that way you don’t have to leave yours out if it rains.”

Were you talking too much? You just wanted him to feel at home or at least welcomed.

“Amazing,” he said. “Thank you.”

A repetitive answer but it didn't stop you from rambling.

“Keurig’s on the counter--creamer in the fridge. Should be plenty of food but obviously feel free to stock what you like. Except like, weed.”

“Weed doesn’t go in the fridge...” he eyed you suspiciously, the same dimple appeared on his cheek and you rolled your eyes.

“I know--I know weed doesn’t go in the fridge.”

“Just the no drug policy,” he nodded.

“Right. Am I forgetting anything?”

He shifted his weight on his feet and shrugged his shoulders, a subtle shake of his head. “I don’t think so.”

“Okay,” you nodded, one final look around the room to make sure he had what he needed. His duffle bag was already in the corner, you’d told Jeff to put it upstairs and out of the way so CeCe and Maeve didn’t get nosy.

“I just have a question actually, if that’s alright.”

“Yeah?”

“When did you move in here?”

“Uh, beginning of August, so like, almost a month ago.”

He nodded, his eyes curious despite the fact that he didn’t ask more.

“We had to put my dad in hospice, I was looking for a place anyway after,” a quick motion over your shoulder to gesture to the girls. “My divorce, so--a lot of change, but it’s been nice to be home.”

He nodded thoughtfully, the quiet of the bedroom suddenly felt heavy. “S’a beautiful house.”

“Thank you,” you looked around the room again, if only to put your eyes somewhere other than his face. “I felt shitty about redecorating it at first, but--it was a little too much of a 70s bachelor pad.”

“Leave it to Walt,” he joked.

That piqued your interest. “Did you know my dad? Like, did you spend any time with him?”

He pushed his lips out in thought but shook his head when he sat down on the bed. “Not really--met him a few times at events with Jeff, but I never spent any quality time with him.”

You nodded--he was a busy guy, popular and well respected in his industry. “He was a good person, good grandfather, too.”

Harry smiled at that. “Always heard that Irv was the balls but your dad was the heart.”

You laughed, scrunched your nose at the saying you’d heard a hundred times. The two of them were partners in crime, two peas in a pod, yet they couldn’t be more different. He spoke again before you could reply, voice soft in the sleepy house.

“I mean, if you're his daughter he obviously did something right.”

He held your gaze just long enough for you to feel something, something you pushed out of your mind so quickly that your hand was on the door knob before he could even say goodnight.

Two weeks, tops.

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[fwkei]

Remember...?

Draken x fem!reader (mainly fluff slight angst)

Finally got my first request yall 🥳 I couldn’t strictly follow the request like i wanted to but i hope thats alright, the gist is still there. anyways thank you sm for it and i hope you enjoy 

TW/CW: Mentions of sex, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex work

WC: 7k (omg the most ive ever written🙆🏻‍♀️)

Note: I changed my writing style a bit for this request so i hope yall don’t mind! and again i dont read my stuff over so my apologies if theres any mistakes lmao

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You sat on the street, overheating as you watched the ‘heat waves’ coming off the ground. You held your hair up with one of your hands since you had nothing to tie it with, while the other held a lukewarm water bottle. You sighed, you felt so anxious and frustrated.

What now?  

You thought letting your mouth part due to your heavy breathing 

You took things too fast. It had been about 3 weeks since you left your parents ‘home’ and why did you leave? Well there were a number of reasons that are a bit too much to list, but all that matters now is that you’re completely and utterly on your own. 

You only managed to scavenge small jobs here and there to get some money to buy some basic necessities but nothing more. 

“Sorry Y/n, my niece is coming down to Tokyo and I told her she could have a job here and stay at the studio above...I’m gonna have to let go. I’m sorry.” said your boss to you only a couple hours ago, with pity filled eyes 

“...No it’s fine really! I understand.Thank you for taking me in while you could.” you said bowing your head at the man, biting your inner cheek trying to keep a level head 

“I’m happy you understand. You can leave your apron and hat on the cashier. On your way out.” he said patting your shoulder as you slowly brought your head up 

“Right..” you said taking off your apron and hat as you walked slowly to the cashier, placing it down 

You brought your hands to your temples out of stress, trying to figure out what you could do now. You only had very little money, and there was a heat wave striking Japan this week. At least your boss allowed you to live and pay rent in the small studio right above his store, which had an AC, but now that was for his niece.  

This had been the first time in a while where you had no idea what to do. You had always been the type of person to be able to take care of yourself and your problems..on your own. All your life since you can remember, you always had to be the one to take care of others, not that you mind or minded...but you were only so young. You never really had a childhood, at least not that you can remember. You do remember cleaning up after your parents who lost all will just to even... parent. You remember taking jobs as a babysitter at a really young age in your apartment complex to make some money.. You remember being the reliable older kid of your school and complex, where kids would come to you asking for help with things like homework all the way to buying something for them to eat because they were hungry. Not once did you ever say no, because you really did want to be there for those kids who’s parents didn’t give them the care they needed. But it just became too much.. You ended up spending all of your saved up money on them, just so they could have something to play with or something to eat. 

Before you even realized it, you were in your last year of high school, with no money saved over, no scholarships, no one to rely on but yourself. Not even a friend. Was it really the right thing to do? Use all your money that you worked so hard for to help kids he lived next door? Or just plain stupid? You knew you couldn't support them forever...but you tried so hard to. All you wanted was to give them a childhood they never had, and someone to look up too. But now you left them. All because you were frustrated. You felt so unbearably guilty. All the work you put into your studies to get at least some type of scholarship just went to waste because you couldn't handle your life anymore. You were being so so so stupid. 

Before you even knew it, the sun was going down, and you grew even more tired and sleepy. You signed, taking a jacket out of your bag and placing it on the ground so you could rest your head on it. You brought your hands to cushion your cheek as your eyes started to close. The air finally got a little cooler making it easier to breathe and well...do anything. 

As you were falling asleep you could hear chatter and laughing, and finally a tap on your shoulder waking you up. You cringed your eyes before opening them up more to see 2 women. One had blonde hair and the other had pinkish hair. They looked older than you, maybe in their 20’s. One held a bag and the other held a bottle of wine with two glasses, they bent down so their heads could be closer to yours. After examining you for a bit they turned to each other and smiled happily before turning back their gaze to your confused face. 

“Hey?” you said sitting up more, a little startled by the intimate contact they were giving you 

“Hey there, say...what’s a pretty girl like you sleeping on the street for?” asked the girl with pinkish hair that was tied into pigtails 

“I uh..don’t have a place right now so..” you said scratching your head 

“Really? Hmmm.” said he one with blonde hair 

“How old are you? And what’s your name? I think we can help you out! Woman to woman!” said the pink haired girl smiling sweetly making you feel fuzzy at their niceness 

“18, and it’s Y/n.” you said smiling nervously 

“Nice to meet you Y/n, I’m Remi, this is Rema, my twin sister.” said the pink haired girl pointing to the blonde as she waved sweetly 

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you too..!” you said bringing your hands to your thighs smiling 

“So did you just turn 18?” asked Rema 

“Sorta, 2 months ago, why?” you asked 

“Oh good!” they both said 

“Well, it’s your choice really. One of the girls left today, and the boss sent us to scout another girl to take her place, buttt we just went to buy food with no intentions of finding someone but luckily we just found you! It’s perfect!” said Remi 

“Oh? What work?” you asked getting excited 

“Oh silly, we live in a brothel! It’s really not all that bad you know, great pay and rooms...so what do you think?” asked Rema 

“A brothel..” you said under your breath 

Your mind was in a serious state of concentration. 

It can’t be all that bad, right? You just have to please people and go on with your day so… that’s what i've been doing my whole life… plus… there's a bunch of women in those things right? I probably won't get too much attention from customers if there's sweethearts like Remi and Rema walking around...so...just for the time being… I think it could really work out in my favor. 

You thought to yourself 

You brought your head up, giving the girls a closed eyes smile before shaking your head ‘yes’ making them jump in excitement. 

“Oh good!” yelled Remi grabbing your hands 

“I’m so excited! We haven't had a new girl in years! How do you think Ken will react?” asked Rema smiling as you 3 all started to walk 

“Ken?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows at the familiar name 

“Oh right, We’ll have to introduce you to him and everyone else tomorrow. He’s the bosses foster kid..I think you two are actually the same age.” said Rema bringing her pointer finger to her chin 

“Mhm mhm! Oh and since you're new, tomorrow I will take your pictures for the board, you can borrow one of my sets till you can afford to buy one for yourself, how does that sound Y/n?” asked Remi smiling and holding your hand 

“It sounds..great! Thank you so much.” you said bowing your head slightly 

“No worries! Hopefully the boss will take you in.” said Remi patting your head 

“Yeah..” you said as you 3 continued to walk to the brothel 

You couldn't seem to get your mind off of that familiar name..Ken? You swore you knew someone named that. It definitely wasn't a popular name so it’s not like you knew it from some type of T.V program.. After thinking hard your whole way to your new home you couldn't seem to remember them. The person named Ken. And so you decided to brush it off for the time being. 

The brothel was pretty big, and consisted of 12 girls, not including yourself. It was really late so everyone was asleep. Remi and Rema showed you to your room which was much more spacious than your room at home. They told you that you were allowed to decorate it and style it however you wanted. But they told you it was important to know that this was the room where business would be done, and not to leave important things around since some of the men came into brothels for the sole purpose of stealing. Remi even told you a story about how one of her clients tried to steal one of her panites, but then the boy named Ken stopped him by knocking him out with one punch to the stomach.   

“He sounds strong-” you laughed as they gave you a small tour 

“He sure is! Like the bodyguard of this place! He’s a sweetheart!” said Remi smiling 

“I’m sure..!” you smiled 

“Alright that’s about it, you should shower now and get ready for tomorrow. The boss will probably wanna take a look at you before seeing if he wants you. But I'm sure he will! You're pretty so it’ll go smoothly!” said Remi handing you her shower stuff for you to use for tonight and a set 

“Got it, and again...thank you so much. I really appreciate it.” you said again 

“Of course! Remember..we’re neighbors so feel free to knock whenever you need something..Also I can give you some tips before your first client so you know what to do.” she said smiling 

“Right, goodnight then!..” you said feeling your face get hot at how she so easily talked about sex. 

After that, you did exactly as she said, you showered. You thoroughly washed your body, face, and hair. Getting out you looked down at the set Remi gave you. It was just a black bra and matching panties with a silk cover up which made you feel better knowing you could cover up with that.  

You rubbed your mouth as you started to rethink your decision. I mean...you respected sex workers..but was this life what you were willing to settle for? Aimlessly waiting around for some random horny man to choose you and do things with you just for you to get only 40% of the payment? Was this all really worth it? Leaving home to avoid your problems...to end up here? You were grateful, yes, Remi and Rema were so sweet and open with you. You could only hope that the others were just as nice. You really wanted things to go well, and that can only start with some good rest. 

You woke up to a knock on your door, to see Remi and Rema walking in with a smile 

“Morninggg!” they sang as you quickly got out of bed 

“Hi!” you said frantically 

“No need to rush! Usually men start coming in at 10, but since you don't work here officially yet you got to sleep in a bit! But the boss called for you, you should go to the set up room down the hall to get ready, remember it?” asked Rema 

“Yeah I do. Thank you for waking me-!” you said smiling and grabbing your stuff and shoes 

“Course, good luck Y/n!” they said as you quickly walked out of your room to get ready 

As you walked in, there were a few other girls getting ready. You smiled and introduced yourself to them, and them to you. They were all so nice and pretty. It made you feel a little bit better about being here, and less nervous since they complimented your looks. You got ready in about 10 minutes, letting one of the other girls help you out with your hair and stuff like that. You gave yourself one last look in the mirror before stepping out and waving to the girls ‘bye.’ 

You nervously walked to the boss's door. You took a deep breath before knocking. You heard a muffled ‘come in!’ so you walked in smiling while holding your covering close. You gave a nervous closed eyes smile before seeing his office was simple, just a desk with a bunch of papers and a chair on the other side. 

“Y/n, correct?” he asked placing down his paper and taking off his glasses to look at you

“Yes.” you said smiling 

“Pleasure-” he said leaning over the desk to shake your hand 

“Likewise.” you said smiling, shaking his hand firmly before sitting down

“Well, I’m sure Remi and Rema told you just about everything you need to know, I take 60% of your earrings, I use that stuff to pay for rent and bills for you girls and my kid… which usually takes up about 30% of that 60%, meaning you make a profit of 40, while I make only a profit of 30 per girl.” he said 

“Yeah, I was told.” you said smiling nervously fiddling with your hands

“Good good, now that that's over with..” he said getting up ad signing 

“I’m just gonna take a look at you, no need to be nervous I’m not gonna touch you or anything, so please don’t feel worried.” he said smiling 

“Right!” you said getting up 

“Alright just do a quick 360 with arms up.” he said smiling 

“Okay.” you said doing as he said 

He looked you up and down but not in a lustful way at all, it was more of like a ‘just seeing how you’ll hold up’ kinda look, almost like he was a bit worried for you. 

“Thank you-” he said sitting back down as you did the same feeling nervous

“I was also told you’re 18? Right?” he asked looking down at his papers 

“Yeah that's right.” you said 

“Well I don't usually have this talk with the other woman because they're older. I know the age of consent in Japan is 16 and blah blah, but you’re still pretty young, are you sure you wanna work like this?” he asked looked into your eyes 

“...Not entirely but it’s the best I can do right now.” you said with a determined face

“I see- we’ll then welcome, and just remember you can leave whenever you want, but give a 2 weeks notice. When Remi is done, ask her to take your picture.” he said 

“Understood, thank you!” you said said smiling and leaving   

You walked out of the room, closing the door carefully signing in relieve 

That went pretty well.

You thought 

You started to walk down the hall so that you could ask Remi to take your picture. But when you put your ear to the door, you heard lewd noises letting you know she wasn’t done just yet. It was already 5, and the brothel closes at 10. You didn’t really know what to do, so you walked over to the kitchen, sitting down at one of the stools waiting for Remi and or Rema to finish up with their work. You tapped the pen that was on the table and started to look around the kitchen. You remembered Remi told you there were snacks in the cabinets, so you got up and started to open and close them one by one to find something to eat. You finally found a cabinet filled instant ramen, you grabbed one and started to pour water into it, popping it into the microwave that was on the counter top. You stood in front of it waiting, playing with the loose strings of you covering when suddenly you heard the door open. 

“I’m home.” said the tall boy with dark hair tied back to reveal a dragon tattoo on the side of his head 

Is this Ken? 

You thought as the microwave beeped, making his eyes turn to you

You quickly shot your eyes to the microwave, hoping he didn’t notice your stare. He looked so familiar it was almost irritating how you couldn’t remember him. You took the hot cup out of the microwave, placing it down on the counter top, ignoring his presence as he walked over, placing down the plastic bag in his hand, noticing your frustrated face trying to figure out where the utensils are. 

“Left of the sink are where they are.” he said sitting down on the stool across from you after looking at your face a bit 

“Thank you.” you said smiling nervously turning around to grab a pair of chopsticks 

“Are you new here?” he asked taking out a styrofoam box from the plastic bag, opening it to reveal a hot meal of meat and rice and vegetables 

“Yeah..I was supposed to start today but I don’t have my pictures taken yet.” you said smiling turning back to mix your noodles 

“Could you grab me a pair too?” he asked realizing he forgot to take a pair of chopsticks from the restaurant 

“Sure-” you said turning back quickly to grab some for him, placing it in his hands as he gave you a soft smile making your eyes widen slightly. 

“You look familiar..” you both said at the same time making both your eyebrows raise in shock then turn into a slight scoff from the both of you 

“Glad we’re on the same page then.” he said taking a bite of his food as you did the same still standing 

“You know you can sit down, don’t feel nervous.” he said looking up you slightly 

“..yeah.” you said smiling, walking around and sitting next to him. 

“So when’d you come?” he asked turning his head slightly to see your mouth filled with noodles making him smile a bit 

“..I came by last night, really late with Remi and Rema.” you said after finishing your bite

“I see...I feel like I remember you from somewhere, can’t pinpoint it though.” he said looking back down at his food 

“Same here, and you must be Ken though, right? When I first heard your name I swore the same thing but I just can’t remember..” you said before sipping some of the broth of your soup

“Yeah, but you can call me Draken and your name?” he asked getting up to grab a napkin from across the table 

“Draken...sure! Oh right, my bad. It’s Y/n. Nice to meet you-” you said smiling holding your hand out for him to shake

He only completely shot up to look into your eyes with his wide ones. You gave him a confused look as you watched him get knocked out of his thoughts, bring his hand up to shake your hand before clearing his throat and walking back over to sit. Maybe you struck a nerve? Maybe had the same name as someone who hurt him in the past? You really didn’t know but it made you feel interested. He looked like he just had his life flash before his eyes or something. 

“Are you okay?” you asked 

“Uh yeah, I’m fine. My head just hurts a bit.” he said looking as if he was deep in thought 

“Oh? I have some tylenol in my room.. You want one? Or I can make you a cold drink, you’re probably dehydrated?” you asked smiling a bit 

Draken turned his head to look at you, his mouth was parted, and he just looked so..anxious? You couldn’t even tell, almost like congested because he wanted to say something. 

Draken felt his heartbeat quicken when he heard your name. As soon as you said it, a random memory that was buried deep in the back of his mind hit him as he quickly re-lived it. But could it really be you? The Y/n he knew from so so so long ago? Around 10 years ago? There could be no way, he remembers the girl moving to a different city..the chances were so low that it could really be you already. 

But the second you said those words.. Those words of offering to make something for him, or give him something, despite you thinking you only just met him...Made him know that it was really the Y/n he met when he was only a little boy...but how the hell did you turn up here? In a place and part of town like this? He was so confused and just wanted to ask you...but you still didn’t remember him. 

“..No I’m alright, thanks..can I ask you somethin-” said Draken before being interrupted 

“Y/n!! Come on, let's take your pictures!” yelled Remi coming out of her room waving as a man walked out too buttoning his shirt 

“Sorry, just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later.” you said smiling and standing up and walking over to Remi

Draken watched you as you walked away. He saw Remi give you a hug, and the man that was walking out checked you out to which Draken gave him a pissed off look. Making the man smile nervously, wave, and leave. 

Do you really wanna live your life like this, Y/n?

He thought to himself before packing up his trash and throwing it away

Remi took your pictures, telling you to do different poses etc, and you finally settled on one. You walked over to the front of the house to place your picture in its designated area above your name. You signed, stepping back to look at it, fixing your gaze to see Draken was walking over with his hands in his pocket, looking as he was going to leave. You saw him glance at the photo making you feel slightly embarrassed.

“Nice.” he said smiling but looking into your eyes in a way where it looked like he was concerned for you. 

Just as you were about to thank him a man walked in and started looking at you making you feel nervous. The man requested you, and so you smiled at him pointing your hand to where the showers were, as you started to walk behind him, you turned your hand giving a thumbs up to Draken with a nervously flushed face, smiling, as he he brought his hand up giving you a thumbs up with soft and concerning eyes before opening the door and leaving. It made your smile fade slightly, you’ve seen that face before from him. But not from today.. And it was all you could think about during your work. 

As you laid in your room, after work you couldn’t help but feel a little bit...stupid? You felt so unsatisfied, not because of your customers but because you just couldn’t remember. It felt like an itch you couldn’t scratch hard enough, and with every interaction you had with the boy almost felt like a tease, like the itch just became more itchy and your scratches just became more weak. Maybe if you spend more time with him, you’ll remember? 

It had been about 4 weeks, 4 weeks of saving your money, and every 4 weeks the boss collected his fair share of the cut. It wasn’t a pretty 4 weeks, it was probably the worst 4 weeks of your life. But... you and Draken would often exchange stories about your lives late at night which you enjoyed a lot. It always makes you feel better. But yet again you still couldn't figure him out. You felt as though you’ve met him before, and as though you two have had these kinds of talks before. 

Draken only grew more and more helpless, seeing how you still haven’t remembered. He was slowly watching your life crumble. He felt so angry that you settled and believed you deserved to live like this, barely scraping by. He felt so awful, and saw how you grew so tired of it all. He just so badly wanted you to remember him, so that he could once again talk to you like he did before.

You had one last customer before closing, going through your usual routine, this n that, the man offered you a drink. You stupid obliged drinking it, hoping it would make your time more enjoyable but you were wrong, so very wrong, and so very stupid for drinking that stupid drink. You remember some parts, you did your job, then it all went black.. You woke up after hearing knocking on your door. You jumped out of bed, confused. You remember seeing the man leave as you started to fall asleep but that's about it. Usually you never fall asleep after the work because you never do much, your mind started to panic. But the door opened revealing Remi smiling.

“Hey sleepy! Boss says it’s your turn, come on, get your cash!” she said smiling 

“Right let me just..it’s in my drawer..I don't know why I fell asleep so fast I think alcohol makes me sleepy.” you said getting out of bed and kneeling in front of your drawer to get the envelope of cash you had been saving.

“Heh, same here. I never accepted drinks from clients..they never had good intentions with that!” she said coming over and sitting at your bed 

“..yeah.” you said starting to feel that panic arise in your body when seeing the envelope was...gone.

“What's wrong?” asked Remi noticing you were frozen 

“I- the money..It’s gone..he took it..” you said with wide eyes feeling as though you were about to sob realizing you had just lost thousands of yen.

“Don’t say that..it..it probably just got misplaced! Come on, I'll help you look!” said Remi getting up  

You couldn't even respond because of the amount of panic you were in. Your heart was racing and you felt tears fall from your eyes. After about 15 minutes of looking, you two found nothing. Absolutely nothing. You sat on the floor with your hand over your mouth, again, trying to keep a level head. 

What now..?

You thought to yourself feeling hot tears stream from your face.

“Hey..guys? Boss is calling for you Y/n..what’s going on?” asked Rema walking in seeing you covering your face, crying 

“She was robbed by the guy who just left, he put something in her drink to knock her out while he looked around and took the money...she doesn’t have the money.” said Remi 

Rema’s mouth parted in shock and pity. 

How could you mess up something so easy? All you had to do was keep your money safe. But you even failed at that. 

“You have to tell him, Y/n.” said Rema rubbing your back

“Yea..yeah, could you two just give me a second? I’ll be right out.” you said smiling while wiping your face 

“Sure.” they said frowning and walking out 

You fisted your hands, and grabbed your covers before screaming into them to muffle your sounds..

Okay..it was a couple of thousand yen...not too bad right? I can promise the money by tomorrow..I’ll pick up some sort of street job...yeah! That’s good. Everything is fine..it’s fine.

You thought to yourself before wiping your face on more time and slapping both sides of your cheeks to wake you up.

You got up and walked to the bosses door feeling the eyes of people on your back. You knocked on the door before opening it slowly, refusing to make eye contact as you went to stand in front of the man with your arms behind your back.

“Alrighttt, let’s see here, in the last four weeks you had a total of 37 customers, so you should have around 300,000 yen, correct?” he asked looking at his paper 

“Yes.” you said still looking down

“Alright, just hand it to me so I can count and divide it, you can sit.” he said smiling holding his hand out 

“I..I don-” you said before being interrupted by a knock 

“Come in.” he said 

“Hey sorry dad, Y/n left her money with me while she went out. Thought I should bring it to her. Remember, Y/n?” said Draken walking in with an envelop in his hand smiling as he came to stand next to you, as you nodded your head ‘yes’ 

“Oh, thank you Ken.” he said smiling and taking the envelop 

Your mouth parted as you gave a confused look, Draken only smiled and gave you a thumbs up while his dad counted the money. You felt so guilty and shocked, and all you could do was just stand there, like an idiot. 

“Here you are...120,000 back..” he said, patting the money on the table to make it flat, putting it back into the envelope and handing it to you

You hesitantly brought your hand to grab it, glancing over at Draken who gave you small smile

“Thank you-” you said to him seeing Draken was already opening the door to leave 

You quickly followed after him as he walked into his room. Before entering his room he turned around and looked down at you 

You felt your eyes soften as you felt as though you were about to cry again, you tilted your head and neck down biting the inside of your cheek to keep in your cry. 

“I promise I’ll pay all of it back by tomorrow, all 300,000.” you said 

“Do you ever give yourself a break?” he asked as you brought your head up to look at him seeing he looked almost irritated 

“You didn’t even ask why I did it, you just immediately jumped to feeling guilty. And you don’t need to pay me back. Really.” he said bringing his hand to close to the door, but you stopped him by grabbing his wrist making his breath hitch 

“Why?” you asked looking into his eyes 

“You still don’t remember? Even after all this time we’ve spent together?” he asked smiling as you took your hand off his wrist 

“Remember...?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, but then it suddenly hit you

“I swear it wasn’t me! I didn't steal!” yelled a little boy with blonde hair as two cops stood in front of him 

You tilted your head and walked closer, but still keeping your distance to hear. It was a winter day and you were on your way to the corner store to buy some snacks, but you were met with an interesting scene. You kept your hands in your pockets as you listened over to the boy screaming and pleading his innocence 

“I wouldn’t steal something so stupid! What would a kid like me need a lighter for!! I don’t know how it ended up in my pocket! Lay off!” he yelled as the officer dangled the lighter in front of his face

A lighter?

“Keep it down! We know how troubled you kids are here! Especially with those tattoos!” yelled back the cop as the boy grew angry and fisted his hands, ready to punch the cop

“Hey!!!” he heard a voice yelled 

“Hey wait a minute!” you yelled waving your hand smiling as you ran to the scene 

“Can we help you?” asked one of the cops in a soft tone 

The blonde boy grew quiet, and you saw his hands loosen as he looked at your smiling face 

“Yeah, why are you two yelling at my brother?” you asked furrowing your brows at the two grown man 

“...Your so-called brother stole a lighter from the corner store right behind you, where are your parents? We would like to have a word with them.” he said standing up straight 

“Yeah, and talk about how they let their son tattoo himself already..” said one under his breath making the other laugh 

You looked over at the boy growing angry, you gave him a smile..making him calm down.

“He said it was just an accident, I asked him to pick up a lighter from the store so that we could light a candle at our father’s grave! See!” you said digging into your bag to pull out a candle 

“He probably felt pressured because I asked him to get it, so if you’re gonna get mad at someone, get mad at me!” you said as you started to fake cry 

“It’s our father's death anniversary, and you're yelling at kids for making a mistake.” you faked cried

“Yeah!!” yelled the boy making you smile under your hands as the two officers became anxious, feeling bad for what they had just done.

“..we’re sorry. Please let us apologize.” they said slightly bowing at you two 

“I don’t think we can accept it...you two also made fun of the dragon tattoo on his head!...dragons were our dads favorite animal. He risked his life fighting for Japan and you two are laughing at him! Is that how your mother taught you how to behave?” you asked pretending to wipe you tears as the blonde boy watched you in awe seeing you toy with grown men 

“Please let us treat you both to whatever you’d like from the corner store as an apology!” they both said bowing lower making you smile and look back at the boy. You gave him a thumbs up as a smile grew on his face 

“Fine..come on then?” you said as both the officers raised their heads, opening the doors of the corner store for you both 

You and the blonde boy walked around the store, filling your baskets with all types of things. The blonde boy watched you in just pure awe as you walked around picking your favorite snacks, as he did the same, glancing at you every now and then. 

“Here.” you said smiling at the cops 

“Right!” they said frantically taking out their wallets as the boy placed down his stuff nervously, still watching you

“Oh and-” you said reaching your hand to grab the lighter from the officer and placing it into the bunch of snacks 

You smiled, your hands were behind your back as you watched the officers pay for yours and the boys' food, placing them into bags for you guys too. You grabbed the lighter and your bag, as the boy did the same 

“Mom told us to meet her at the cemetery steps, remember?” you said looking into the boys eyes

“..yeah, I remember.” he said smiling feeling his face become hot 

“Let’s go then.” you said smiling and taking his hand as you two ran out of the store 

After a bit you two stopped and sat on the curbside while you both chose a snack to eat.  

“Here’s your lighter, you don’t have to stay with me by the way.” you said handing him the steel lighter 

“..Thanks” he said 

“Sure- what do you need it for anyway?” you asked smiling 

“My boss asked for it.” he said putting it in his pocket

“Oh, are you in some type of delinquent group?” you asked looking at him 

“Yeah..” he said smiling 

“That's cool, what do you guys do?” you asked taking a sip of your drink 

“We kinda just...like...do stupid stuff and fight..” he said 

“Sounds fun, but...stupid.” you said laughing making him scoff 

“Why’d you do it?” he asked 

“Do what?” you asked back turning you gaze to him 

“Come in to cover me. You could’ve gotten in a lot of trouble because of me.” he said with a frustrated face 

“You’re right, I just wanted to, that's all.” you said smiling making his mouth part and cheeks redden

“You seem pretty fun too so I thought we could be friends or something..” you said nervously 

“Yeah! Sure- We can be friends!” he said happily making you feel flustered 

“Well then, it’s nice to meet you, my name is Y/n, yours?” you asked holding over your hand 

“Ken, but you can call me Draken-” he said taking ahold of your hand gently as you gave him a closed eyed smile blushing 

“where the hell did you find that candle and com up with that whole sob story Y/n?”

“Dunno, I saw the candle on the ground by a newspaper, I kinda just winged it- “

After that day you remember hanging out with Draken almost every other day. You remember him telling you how he and his close friends started their own gang and needed some sort of funding, and so you gave it to him, on his birthday.

“I saved up! You said that you and your friends needed some money to start off so that you guys could buy a flag or banner? Right? Well, here’s 30,000 yen for your birthday!” you said handing him an envelope and a small balloon.

“Are-are you serious right now Y/n?” he asked taking the gifts, opening the envelope to look inside to see the money as his eyes lit up 

“Yeah, I babysit more kids now so I was able to put some aside for you.” you said smiling satisfied with his reaction 

He didn’t even say anything, all he did was bring his arms around you upper body, hugging you tight making you laugh as you brought yours to hug him back 

“Thank you- you’re the best! The guys will be so happy!” he said smiling while grasping your wrists in excitement. Your eyes traced over his face as they soften. You smiled. 

“Likewise.” 

And- after that, you remember the day you 2 separated as friends. You both sat on the curbside, you remembered you called him to come and see you. It was a winter night and the sun was going down. 

“I uh..well I don’t really know how to say this without sounding cliche but-”

“What? Are you gonna confess that you’re madly in love with me or something?” he asked grinning, making you sweat drop 

“Jeez be quiet...I’m trying to make this a memorable moment-” you signed smiling, placing your palms on the cold cement 

“Alright let’s hear it then Y/n-!” he said bringing his hands to the back of his head as he laid down looking up at the stars 

You only frowned slightly, you shifted your position so that you could sit beside him and have a good look at his face. 

“You’re scaring me..” he said jokingly making you smile 

“It was really fun the past year.” you said smiling as Draken shot his head up to look at you face to face 

“The hell are you talking like that for?” he asked furrowing his brows 

“My parents can’t afford living in any districts in Tokyo anymore, so we’re moving to another city… about 4 hours train ride from Tokyo so-” you said looking down at your hands on the floor

“So? You act like I won't be able to come and see you or you come and see me..” he said ducking his head a bit so that you could look at him 

“Draken, train tickets are about 220 yen per person, I can't afford it, and if you came by to see me I'd feel guilty because you’d be wasting your money just to only see me for like an hour.” you said 

“How can I be wasting my money on you? It’s not wasting if I wanna do it and see you, plus what makes you think it'll only be a couple hours?” he asked 

“I’ll have to start working once we get there, so I wouldn’t have anytime...I wanna start saving so that one day I can come back to Tokyo and live here, so that I can see your dream come true of helping your friend create a ‘new era of delinquents’ you know? I’ll even help you guys if you want with financial stuff or something.” you said smiling at him 

Draken bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to tell you so bad how he felt but..

“Look, I have a feeling I know what you’re gonna say..just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later, okay?” you said placing your hand on top of his causing his eyes to widen 

“...You’ll remember me, right?” he asked looking into your eyes deeply making your mouth part 

“Yeah, I’ll remember you as long as you remember what you wanted to tell me. Cause I feel the same” you said smiling as a tear fell from your eyes 

“good...I will.” he said smiling back and tilting his head and wiping it off your face

After the memories hit you, you stood there with wide eyes and tears, with your wrist covering your quivering mouth. You had completely suppressed your memories of Draken, and your feelings because you knew you wouldn't be able handle being apart from him for so long. And he did the same. You couldn’t imagine how unbearable it was for him to be waiting up like this. You looked up at him seeing his eyes were softly looking at you. You could do nothing but bring your arms around him hugging him, as he brought his arms around you to do the same. You were still such in shock. 

“I never thought you’d end up in a place like this, living a life like this.” he said against your ear 

“I don’t wanna see you like this, please let me take care of you like you did for me..” he said said tightening his grip slightly  

You could only cry at his words, you didn’t even wanna try to speak because you knew it would only come out as a sob. Was it really alright for you to rely on someone so much?

He pulled back from the hug and looked at your face, seeing you were still crying as you nodded your head ‘yes’, he smiled and wiped them away with his thumb. The smile on his face...he looked so satisfied...and happy...happy that you finally remembered. Finally remembered him.

[marauderundercover]

Taking Chances Chapter Five: Paris Revealed (Stories/Memories)

Prev

AO3

Marinette flinches back as the room erupts in shouting. The younger boy, who was definitely younger than her and yet almost (if not definitely) taller than her, was fiercely glaring while he screamed at Mr. Wayne in….was that Arabic? The man that walked in with him was waving around the knife in his hand while Dick yelled at Mr. Wayne, his face filled with confusion instead of fury. Glancing around for a way out, Marinette makes eye contact with Alfred who nods behind him. Sneaking away from the group of angry men, Marinette follows Alfred into the kitchen and instantly feels at home. And much calmer.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbles, breathing deeply to avoid spiraling again. Alfred simply hands her a cookie before turning around and putting water in a kettle.

“There is no need to apologize, Miss Marinette. It seems Master Bruce has forgotten all sense today and is instead insistent on acting like a fool. It was wrong of him to announce you like that, without preparing you or the boys beforehand. I do hope that his atrocious display of proper manners doesn’t make you want to leave.” Alfred says, and Marinette’s eyebrows shoot upwards. Was he? Was Alfred actually blaming this situation on Mr. Wayne? Was it Mr. Wayne’s fault? Did he not actually hate her? Did he just make a mistake?

“I- what?” Marinette says, unsure of herself.

“You, my dear, are not at fault. Your father didn’t tell any of his sons that you were coming to the manor today, or that you existed in general. And judging by your face, you weren’t prepared for the boys to be here either.” Alfred clarifies.

“Oh. No, I wasn’t. Mr. Wayne just said that he wanted to get to know me, and he knew I wanted to get to know him. I- my birth mother passed away. But my Maman knew her, so I can find out from her how I’m similar to Bridgette. But neither of my parents knew Mr. Wayne, and I just wanted to know if I was like him, I guess. I didn’t even know who he was until two days ago.” Marinette admits.

“As in you found out Bruce Wayne was your birth father two days ago or-” Alfred trails off, waiting for her to clarify.

“Oh no. I found out the name of my birth father awhile ago. It’s just- I really don’t pay attention to celebrities. The only ones I really know are designers. So I didn’t put two and two together, and I didn’t even know about Bruce Wayne and Wayne Enterprises until a few days ago. My friend Adrien made me google him and that’s when I found out about...the boys.” She says, stopping herself from saying her brothers as she was still unsure if Mr. Wayne actually wanted her like he wanted the others.

“Well I’m certain that things will start to calm down shortly. In the meantime, would you care for some tea?” Alfred asks, holding up the kettle. Marinette nods gratefully, trying hard to stop her inner spiral from drowning her.

---

“What do you mean daughter?” Damian snarls, finally switching to English. Bruce blinks at the boy before sighing.

“I mean, you have a biological sister.” He says, tired and wishing he had been able to convince Marinette to go somewhere else. Not that he didn’t want her to meet her siblings. But it definitely wasn’t the laid back first meeting that he wanted.

“You mean half-sister.” Damian spits out, crossing his arms and sticking his nose into the air.

“Shut up, Demon Spawn. She’s our sister, get over it. Where’d the kid come from? Her mom drop her off?” Jason asks, obviously trying to actually understand the situation.

“No. I first met her at the Museum and had my suspicions. She’s in Gotham on a class trip, and before you ask, yes. We had a DNA test done and yes, I am her father.” Bruce says, frowning when he sees Dick’s hurt expression morph into one of excitement.

“Wait, wait, wait! Was she the girl who was sassing the Joker?” He asks quietly, practically buzzing with excitement. When Bruce nods, Dick cheers and runs from the room. Okay then.

“Wait, she met the Joker?” Jason asks, his expression turning dark. Bruce watches his son’s face morph into one of disgust when he puts it together. “She’s the French kid he had at gunpoint, isn’t she?”

“Yes. Which is one of the reasons why we both thought the manor would be a more appropriate meeting place rather than somewhere public.” Bruce says, sighing as Damian once again starts screaming. This was not what he had planned.

---

After just a few minutes with Alfred, Marinette already felt calmer. Calm enough to giggle at another story about something that one of the boys- one of her brothers- did. Calm enough to let her guard down. And mess up.

“If you wanna see something ridiculous, you should look up the 26th time Monsieur Ramier was akumatized into Monsieur Pigeon. He made all the buildings turn into bird cages and all the food turned into bird seed. Luckily it didn’t last long, but seeing the Mayor of Paris stuck inside a giant bird cage was kind of hilarious.” Marinette rambles, giggling at the memory. It was definitely a needed akuma, situated right between two super destructive akumas. Monsieur Pigeon was, while a nuisance, always a breath of fresh air. His akumatized form was brought on by his fierce protectiveness of the pigeons, which luckily never led to death for civilians.

“Pardon me, Miss Marinette, but could I ask what you mean by ‘akumatized’?” Alfred asks, his posture suddenly stiff. Marinette’s eyes widen as she realizes what she just did. She told someone outside of Paris about the situation happening in Paris. Well crap. Normal Parisians didn’t know about the media block that she had set up with the help of the Mayor and Max. But after her calls to the Justice League were ignored, and she realized how disastrous it would be for a member of the League to be akumatized, the media block was the best choice. Time to act clueless.

“Akumatized, as in, a person is possessed by an akuma? Surely you’ve heard of it. It’s been happening in Paris for almost two years.” She says, hoping he doesn’t ask to see any evidence. This isn’t good, this is awful, this-

“And what is an akuma?” Alfred asks. Okay, this isn’t too bad.

“It’s an evil butterfly sent out by the villain, Hawkmoth.” Marinette says, giving out more information than she’s really comfortable with. Okay, time to change the subject, no more questions about heroes or villains or-

“Marinette!” A new voice calls, sliding into the kitchen, almost immediately falling over.

“Master Dick, have you forgotten about your ban on the kitchen?” Alfred asks, his lips quirking up in amusement.

“Awww, Alfred, I just wanted to talk to Marinette. I feel bad for all of us overwhelming her back there.” Dick says with a pout that somehow doesn’t look ridiculous on him. Despite obviously being at least ten years older than her.

“Don’t feel bad. It was just...a lot all at once.” Marinette says with a small smile.

“So I have to ask, are you the one who sassed the Joker at the Museum the other day?” He asks, a wide grin on his face as he sits on one of the stools. Marinette’s eyes widen and she blinks. How?

“Oh, uh, yeah, I guess. It wasn’t a big deal though. He thought I was a Wayne- well, I guess he figured it out before I did- but I think he just wanted to scare my class.” She says, waving her hand to brush off the topic. She really didn’t want to talk about the Joker. Because she was sure it would turn into-

“I apologize for asking, but have you been caught up in the villain attacks in Paris before?” Alfred asks, Marinette instantly panicking. Sure, she’d been caught up in almost every single akuma battle as Ladybug. But there were a few on record where she was targeted as Marinette, and even a few battles that she assisted as Marinette. And then there was Kwami Buster…

“Well, a few. But basically everyone in Paris has dealt with it at some point. That’s just what happens when there’s an attack so often, you know? And my school seems to be a hotspot but that makes sense because teenagers are full of negative emotions and-” Marinette cuts off her rambling, cursing herself on the inside. Great job, Mari. Now they’re going to be worried or they’re going to think you’re a freak or-

“What do you mean negative emotions? Why would that matter?” Dick asks, his previous cheerful smile replaced with a look that clearly meant business.

“That’s how the villain chooses his targets. Negative emotion. If someone is having a bad enough day, he can take control of them and give them powers and basically destroy the city trying to get to Ladybug and Chat Noir, who are our heroes. I only know what’s been posted on official sites like the Ladyblog or miraculousparis.org.” Marinette says, smiling apologetically and hoping that this conversation can be over.

“Have you ever been akumatized?” Dick asks, tension suddenly filling the room.

“No, thankfully. I’ve found ways to manage my negative emotions so that they can’t take me over. I don’t blame anyone who has been akumatized, it’s hard not to be. But, I also don’t think I’d be able to forgive myself if I was akumatized.” Because then her family would be a target. Because Hawkmoth would know her identity. And if Hawkmoth’s insistence on her being akumatized was anything to go on, she’d be a devastating akuma. And if Ladybug wasn’t fighting in the battle….would the cure even work?

“That is a lot of pressure, Miss Marinette.” Alfred says softly after a moment of tense silence. Marinette grins brightly.

“I can handle it, don’t worry!” She says, hoping no one can tell how hard it actually is. How hard it is constantly being strong. Never truly feeling a negative emotion.

---

Bruce winces at the faux cheerfulness in his daughter’s voice. He had only found out about the Paris situation a few days ago, but he was determined to fix it. Find a solution. Do something to help the city and by extension, his daughter. She’d be going back there soon. Back to a city that was being held hostage by an emotional terrorist. Bruce would fix this. He had to.

Next

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[theamberwizard]

i’ve been thinking about black widow and the red room recently, as one does, and i’ve got a lot of thoughts about the effects of the red room on widows who’ve escaped. couple things, just before i begin: i would recommend having watched black widow before this because there are implied (?) spoilers, i use way too fancy language while i write and i don’t have an editor cause this is mainly to catch her off guard, so, uh, whoops sorry

trigger warnings: TW: child abuse TW: restricted eating/starving yourself TW: dehumanization TW: death of a child

so yeah, enjoy my list of 10 personal headcanons about how the red room fucks you up on all the levels.

1) black widows cannot sleep in. like, they wake up at 5:00 am every day. it’s not a physical thing, at least not as far as they know, because they can negate that by just going to bed two hours or less before 5:00 am just from their lack of sleep. if, however, they go to sleep at a fairly normal hour they will, like clockwork, wake up at 5:00. this stems from them doing it every single day of their life since they got indoctrinated in the red room. if they didn’t wake up at 5:00 am ready for more training or missions, for any reason, they would be tortured. sometimes physically, sometimes mentally. eventually, all the widows would get that message. they still can’t shake it. because of that, natasha will often refuse to go to sleep at a normal hour, trying to force her body into submission, trying to rid herself of the painful memories that accompanied sleep and waking up afterwards. only clint knows why, because each day in that vent, natasha would snap up at 4:00 am. she had to explain to him that she just wasn’t accustomed to budapest time, and that actually, it was 5:00 am in russia.

2) for months after escaping the red room, widows practically cannot eat. in the red room, they were fed mushy messes of meals, filled with only the necessary nutrients that they absolutely had to have to survive. most widows can only get down one meal, maybe even a snack if they push it, until they throw it all up. they have to slowly eat slightly more each day for weeks until they can get down a normal intake of food. even then, it’s hard to push that, and every widow relapses into throwing up in those early stages. however, this isn’t normally a problem for most widows until a couple weeks into their life with freedom. that’s about the time that they make an acquaintance, who will eventually pluck up the courage to ask them why every time said friend will eat near the widow, the widow will lean over and whisper: “careful, that’s your whole ration today and i don’t want to do extra training.”

3) each “class” of widows had an extra mentor teacher in their early red room years. this was an older widow, someone who’d been falling behind in her recent missions, and with a look that the red room deemed “motherly”. their sole purpose was to be the person each widow got attached too, the parental figure. they were nice, they were helpful, they taught many different basic techniques. then, one day, the red room would have another older widow, (one already introduced to the children as the metaphorical “bad cop” of this scenario) come in and inform the mentor that she had failed her latest mission and proceed to, in front of thirty eleven year-olds, shoot the mentor. the mentor widow would not die that day- the red room refused to waste such a weapon- but the class of up incoming widows would be informed that she had. the official purpose of this exercise was to demonstrate to both the trainees and the trainer the consequences of failing a mission. the unofficial purpose? that would be the last psychological effects the mentor’s “death” would have upon the class, making them learn what happened to attachments in the red room. the day natasha’s class experienced this was the day she cut off all contact with her sister. the day yelena experiences this is the day she first another widow- because yelena killed that mentor with her own bare hands before the informant ever finished the announcement.

4) towards the start of the red room’s history, there were several attacks on the red room. the first ever attack was from a local police station who had been getting complaints of loud wailing, and, upon further investigation, realized what they were dealing with. they brought several other police and militia groups from nearby towns. the immediate action that was taken was to throw the littlest girls they had at the attackers. it stopped the police in their tracks, obviously, because you really don’t expect to come across thirty little girls while searching through a building of highly trained assassins. the red room then sent their fully trained widows and killed everyone. including the girls. the red room then found that footage from their cameras (because of fucking course they have cameras) and then showed it to the next batch of widows, just to show them how disposable they were.

5) yelena and natasha almost caused a whole fucking mutiny within the red room just because of their names. in the red room, you see, widows do not get names. they instead are bestowed with numbers, and even those are a twisted class ranking. they all wore little name tags with the numbers on them until came natasha and yelena came in. yelena, having just seen her mother get shot, complied almost immediately and was addressed as number 42. on the other side of that coin you have natasha, who had already been in the red room and remembered every gruesome detail, and went “fuck you my name is natalia.” upon hearing of this (word gets around fast in the red room. every girl must know they are being listened to at all times, and no secrets can be kept from the red room,) yelena too announced her name to the class.

6) this was met with blanching from every child in that class, because how on earth can you be called by a word? no, they thought, we are numbers, we are weapons, we are not people and we cannot have our own words, for we are not worthy. but secretly, internally, they wished for a name. slowly, they began piecing syllables together until they formed a coherent name, and for the first time in the red room’s long history, they didn’t have weapons. not anymore. they have two full classes of human little girls. the red room officials heard of this, obviously, and took to the only method they had now. violence. the classes were rid of the named girls, yet natasha and yelena were kept alive. they were kept alive to be ostracized, to be the girl the others pointed at and said “she’s the reason all my friends died.” they were kept alive so they could watch the carnage they had unwittingly caused just by saying their own names. and the worst part? well, the worst part was when the teachers accounted for those kills, and made them top of the class. yelena will never forget the day the teachers stood her and her sister up in front of all the widows-in-traning and told them what a good job they had done, how those tactics were sure to help them graduate. i mean, you’re practically a shoo-in if they rest of your class was killed by your school.

7) the red room could never fully stop the names, and so they decided to make a system, and the names would be the highest reward. they told the young, impressionable girls that while maybe outsiders such as natasha and yelena got names at birth, you had to earn them here. if you are to become a spy, you will take on the name of you very first official alias. if, instead, you become an assassin, you will take on the name of your very first official kill. of course, in reality, the widows couldn’t actually address each other with their new earned names, and instead used “team leader” or other such titles. but it became a small comfort for them, thinking of themselves in third person, with their very own names. in some small part they weren’t fully weapons anymore, no, they were people again. natasha took on the name natalia, because in her mind that life in ohio had been her first mission, even if she hadn’t known it. yelena took on yelena as well, but in her mind that little girl in ohio who was sitting in the backseat, caring only about which song they played, that girl had to have been yelena’s first true kill.

8) the names system worked well in the red room, but when you escaped it caused some serious problems. most would have to announce themselves to the russian government, saying they had been flying under the radar their whole life and never became registered. then, they’d give a non-russian name, and their whole ruse would fall apart. unfortunately, this was the least of their problems, because many a widow would someday meet a relative of their very first kill, and when they introduced themselves as the person they had killed all those years ago, the families and friends would often figure them out.

9) one of the biggest parts of the red room’s brainwashing was their little catchphrases they used. ironically, a lot of them were eerily close to boy scout mottos- “be prepared,” an iconic scout motto, versus “there is no safety, only preparedness,” the most frequently used phrase within the red room. when widows then escaped, the most small phrase could set them off. some unknowing widows even adopted little boys in their new lives, who often became boy scouts. the ensuing misery is something you can imagine yourself.

10) after clint helped natasha to escape, she immediately died her hair blond.  clint asked why, of course, and she didn’t tell him. (what, you thought i’d have another cute clintasha moment? never.) this was partly because she hadn’t admitted it to herself, though, because natasha couldn’t remember her sister without remembering all the suffering that came with her.

11) when the widows were smaller, more susceptible to the conditioning, the red room would stage infiltrations. older widows, ones who were closer to retirement, would come in in different uniforms, sometimes the uniforms of UN officers or local police, sometimes different organizations, all different types. the most recent uniforms made yelena sick looking at them, because each time the older widows would pretend to be the avengers there would also be one pretending to be her sister. each time she saw the fake natasha she wanted to break that widow’s neck because that’s not how my sister tilts her head, you’re doing it all wrong. you should be doing it like this, you shouldn’t be doing it at all, i should be doing this, i know my sister. each time those exact thoughts went into her head, and each time all she really wanted was for her sister to be there, for natasha to do her little head tilt upon seeing yelena and take her hand and say “you’re safe now, i promise,” and for natasha to be telling the truth. the only problem was that deep down inside herself yelena knew that this could never actually happen while yelena was still in the red room, because while yelena was still in the red room she knew that she would look at natasha telling her she was safe and tell her in return that there was no safety, only preparedness, and then murder her sister in cold blood.

[furiousgoldfish]

I don’t really know if my experience was abusive or not…. My home life was kinda all over the place growing up. My mum was initially a single mom but got married and had another child when I was 7. I sorta got pushed to the side at that point. My mum was busy with my younger sister and step-dad worked in camps for weeks on and weeks off, but even then I never really liked him that much. I learned how to get my own food, tuck myself into bed, entertain myself very quickly. I have a fear of showing pain or injury now because when I got hurt when I was younger I was often scolded and made to feel it was my fault. Got bit by the dog? Well what was I doing!? I shouldn’t have done that!! My little sister had an ear infection and was scolded (ie yelled at) because she didn’t say anything earlier and it was the weekend now and they can’t do anything about it (walk in clinics closed).

Growing up, my mother was always very strict about friends and play dates because they were apparently a lot of work. A friend would ask if I could come over after school and I would be so terrified to ask my mother I would near cry. I would ask and get scolded because “we don’t have time for that” or it’s “too last minute.” And I was always a very quiet child so I never pushed back, I just gave in and told her she was right.

When I expressed anxieties, or that I was really stressed and it was making me feel unwell, it was often ignored or flipped so that it was something I was doing wrong. And maybe they were right?

I would say I’m scared to do something or that something stresses me out and my step father would tell me to get over it because it’s life. When I had to change my diet for health reasons, he would say he checked packages that they were okay, but he didn’t and then I would feel unwell, and he wouldn’t believe me.

Basically, my parents were either not existing in my life, yelling at me for being hurt or being mad because something was going to cost money (and making me feel reallllyyyyy bad about it which has resulted in it being very hard for me to ask for things I needed), my parents also argue a lot, which always seriously stressed me out. Also a lot a lot a lot of shame about wasting from my step dad which has now led to me feeling sick to my stomach everytime something is slightly wasted, thrown out or not recycled.

But at the same time, as I got older I got Kinda closer to my mum?? But she was still very strict on friends and I knew that if I let her know most things that she would be mad, even though I was a textbook student. All this also paired with my grandmother’s constant dieting and telling me that I put on weight.., and patting my stomach. And then apologizing. And then when I try on clothes telling me I’m too too heavy… idk. I present a LOT of trauma symptoms, but I have lived a relatively blessed childhood.

Also probably important to note that I am suspected OCD or other anxiety disorder but undiagnosed.

Thank you for your blog and your time, both are incredibly helpful and I am very grateful.

That's really heartbreaking neglect, they couldn't even comfort you when you were in pain or injured, and you had to figure out everything yourself, like you had no parents at all. Yelling at children for being sick and injured is like kicking down someone who is asking you for help, it's despicable. I'm so sorry, that is absolutely abuse, and a serious case of neglect.

You were demanded to be a convenience and as little work as possible, to a great price for your childhood, you can't have a kid and then ask them to 'not be a lot of work' for you! It's not called work, it's raising your own kid! Besides, what kind of 'work' is a friend coming over, you have to say hi and maybe offer a snack? What kind of person considers that too much for their child's friendships?

Your parents are not right to blame and shame you for your anxiety and stress, they were supposed to help you feel better, comfort and reassure you, not make you feel worse and force you to doubt whether you're allowed to feel your feelings at all.

I'm so sorry for all they put you thru. It makes complete sense your stomach feels sick, that is so much violation and hate directed at you. You're more important than food. You're more important than your weight or whatever else they tried to make you feel horrible about. These people don't know you and have no right to comment on anything on you. They already hurt you enough.

I hope you get diagnosed and your struggles get a bit easier once you're sure of it and find more people you can relate to. Your childhood isn't blessed, it's already tainted with so much abuse, neglect, violation and hate, you have actual trauma symptoms. Trauma isn't a small issue that can be brushed aside. Your story is painful and it's not fair for you to have to live thru that.

And also, thank you for the kind words, I appreciate them.

[petersasteria]

hope ur ok || holland!reader

sour masterlist || holland!reader || sour taglist

3,637 words tw: sad shit bc spoiler: someone dies, italics are flashbacks, bold is a letter i don't have a holland reader banner so i used the olivia banner instead. also, sorry for the delay of posting this lmao

* * * *

You were in your room, sitting on your bed as your eyes looked around. Your room was painted your favorite color and it made your brothers jealous because their rooms were painted white, it was boring. Yours had posters, polaroids of you and your siblings, fairy lights, a bean bag chair, and a simple full body mirror. You heard a knock on your door and you looked to see that it was Tom smiling brightly with a plate of your favorite cookies.

“Hey.” He said softly as he entered the room and shut the door behind him with his foot while balancing the plate of cookies in his hands.

“Hi.” You smiled.

“Sam kicked me out of the kitchen, but I was there first and fortunately, I finished the cookies on time. I hope they taste alright.” Tom said as he sat beside you, the plate of cookies in between you.

“They smell good, so you did a good job.” You chuckled. Tom took one cookie and looked at you, “Taste test.”

He took a bite and chewed it a few times before saying, “It tastes alright. It’s not like how Sam makes it, but I’m not Sam. I’m Tom.”

Both of you erupted into a fit of giggles as you talked about random things. The plate of cookies were now on your bedside table and only half of the cookies were eaten.

“Hey, how’s your friend?” Tom asked casually. Both of you were laying on your bed, facing the ceiling.

“Which friend?”

“The blond one who had one hell of a musical talent.” Tom said. “He used to come here and play on Sam’s piano.”

“Oh, James! I don’t really know what happened to him. We, uh, fell out of touch.”

“I see.” Tom said. “I hope he’s okay.”

“Same here.” You told him. “My friend, Madeline, got a scholarship last time I checked. She got accelerated in school and she got to attend uni ahead of us. I’m really proud of her, y’know?”

“Where is she now?” Tom asked.

You looked at Tom with sorrow in your eyes. He glanced at you and he could see how hurt you were. “We don’t talk...anymore. We used to. She’s basically like a sister to me, but we don’t talk anymore. Regardless, I’m really happy for her and I miss her. Wherever she is, I hope she’s alright.”

Suddenly, there was a knock on your door and Tom sat up quickly. The door opened and revealed Sam. “Hey, it’s time to eat dinner. You’re washing the dishes tonight, Tom!” Sam said before leaving.

“That little shit.” Tom laughed. “C’mon, Y/N. Let’s eat!” He got up from your bed and you followed suit with worry and concern in your eyes. You shook your head and shrugged it off. What you’ll say can wait.

Both of you went down to join everyone on the dining table. You sat in your usual seat, but didn’t contribute in the conversation. You were just happy to be there. You looked around and saw how happy your brothers were. You looked at your parents and saw them smiling. It was a beautiful sight to see. After all, all you wanted was for them to be happy. They deserve to be happy.

Harry and Tom cleaned up as you watched them help each other. “Next time, we should cook Y/N’s favorite dinner.” Tom said. Harry looked at him and shrugged, “Why not? I never liked it, but I’m sure she’d appreciate it very much.”

The next few days were spent with Tom. He never left your side and he made sure you were alright. You were the youngest and as the eldest Holland child, he made it his job to look after you. He wasn’t close with you before, but somehow as you grew older, it changed. Tom was now excited to spend time with you. He loved talking to you and he loved laughing with you. In his opinion, you make his stress and worries fade away.

Your birthday is coming up and he wanted everything planned out. He already had plans, actually. He knew what cake you wanted, he knew what decorations to put up, he planned the food, and he even had a theme in mind. He was really prepared. Paddy had to go with Tom in town just to buy balloons. Tom was really going all out.

“Are you going to help me set up tonight? Y/N’s birthday is tomorrow and I want her to be surprised when she wakes up. I can already imagine her face.” Tom smiled excitedly as he parked the car in the driveway.

“I can’t help you tonight. I have homework.” Paddy said as he looked at Tom who just shrugged. “Alright. No problem. Stay in school, Pads.” Tom smiled before exiting his car with Paddy following him.

They walked in and Tom saw you sitting on the arm of the couch with Sam and Harry. Tom smiled at the sight. “Hey, guys!” He greeted, causing the three of you to look at Tom and Paddy.

“Wow, you went shopping for a lot of things.” Harry pointed out.

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Sam asked with a grin.

“Nothing.” Tom smirked. “I’ll put these in my room.” Tom left and went upstairs to his room as Paddy walked to the couch and sat next to you. You looked at Paddy and smiled. You weren’t close with him, but you loved him dearly. You were only one year younger than him and he was always kind to you and you liked hanging out with him.

You looked at Sam and Harry and you held back a chuckle as you watch them annoy each other. It was a lovely sight to see.

Night time came and dinner was over a few hours ago. You were just standing in your backyard feeling the wind blowing and you knew that something was about to happen. You just didn’t know what. The backdoor opened and you turned around to see Tom with a small smile.

“What’re you doing out here? It’s cold.” He said as he tugged his jacket closer. He walked towards you and stood beside you. “What’s on your mind?”

You shrugged, “Nothing. I guess I’m just tired. I think I’ll rest now.”

Tom nodded. He suddenly remembered his plan and said, “Yeah, you can go upstairs now. I, uh, prepared your room.”

“Thank you.” You smiled at him. You walked towards the back door and stopped to turn around to look at Tom. He was already looking at you and you said, “I- Good night, Tom.”

“Good night, Y/N. Sweet dreams.” He smiled sweetly. You opened the door and walked in and went straight up the stairs to your room.

Tom stayed outside for a minute before walking in. He locked the back door and went to the living room where his brothers were. “Hey, guys! Ready to decorate?” Tom asked with a huge smile on his face. It was evident that he was excited.

“What’re you talking about?” Sam asked, looking at Tom with a confused face.

“Yeah, what’s happening?” Paddy questioned.

Tom scoffed and crossed his arms, “How could you guys forget?! It’s our sister’s birthday tomorrow and you guys aren’t preparing at all!”

Tom was yelling as the rest were looking at him sadly. Sam’s eyes were clouded with tears as he looked at Tom. Harry and Paddy looked at Sam, not wanting to be the ones to remind Tom. Sam sighed and closed his eyes and his tears fell. He wiped his tears and opened his eyes to face Tom.

“Tom, mate, she’s dead.” Sam said softly. “She’s been dead for two months now.”

“W-What are you talking about?” Tom shook his head slowly. He looked away from Sam and he saw you standing behind Sam. “She’s right there, Sam! She’s literally right behind you! How can you not see it?!”

“Tom, stop! She’s gone, okay?!” Harry exclaimed. “Y/N’s not here! She won’t be here anymore and it’ll be that way forever. We just have to accept that.”

“It was leukemia, Tom. She didn’t make it and we had a funeral and everything.” Paddy said softly.

You were confined in the hospital for about a week now and you were getting weaker and weaker as the days went on. Your family was trying to be positive, but all of you knew that it was your time to go. Before you were confined, you had written letters for them to read after you die and it was now hidden in their drawers.

Tom and Harry weren’t there when you passed because they were in a different country. They immediately went home when they heard the news. All of you knew that you weren’t going to make it, but all of you ignored that fact. Everyone except Tom was grieving. He held his mother as she cried and he stayed strong for his brothers. He couldn’t remember the last time he and his brothers slept in one room and he hated that they chose to do it again as soon as you were gone.

It was like a sleepover. They all talked about you and everything you did that the others didn’t know about. Turns out, you had secrets you shared with everyone except Tom.

“Wait, she told you guys about her secrets?” Tom asked that night.

“Yeah.” Harry nodded, eyes bloodshot from all the crying. “If something happens to her, she tells the first person she sees.”

“She never told me anything.” Tom stated.

“That’s because you’re the eldest. No one tells people about themselves to the eldest sibling.” Paddy answered.

“That’s unfortunate.” Tom frowned. “I wish I knew the things you knew.” He added.

“It’s alright, Tom. She didn’t have major secrets, anyway. Besides, she was just scared to tell you. That’s why she did that.” Sam explained.

Tom couldn’t sleep that night as he looked at his brothers. They were cuddled up next to each other and were fast asleep. Tom couldn’t help but think of you before finally drifting off. Days later, it was the funeral. The whole house was quiet and while your mum, Nikki, would appreciate it, for once in her life she wanted the noise. She wanted to hear boisterous laughing, heavy footsteps running up and down the stairs, yelling, the sound of Sam cutting vegetables, Dom’s loud typing, Paddy talking to his friend on the phone, Harry telling you to wake up and calling you a lazy bum for not being productive, and Tom playing with Tessa outside. Now, there was none of that.

When a husband or wife dies, the one they left behind is called a widow. When a child dies, what do you call their parents? No one’s ever come up with a word for that yet because it’s too painful to think about. You were young and you deserved all the best life has to offer. Nikki was devastated, but she knew that wherever you were, you aren’t in pain anymore and that was enough for her.

Tom wanted to scream, but he didn’t. He was numb. After the funeral, he and Harry decided to take a break from traveling to spend time with the rest of the family. He stopped working for a while and everyone understood that.

When they got home, Tom went straight to his room and cried. He cried and cried until no tears came out. His head ached, but he didn’t want to get up and get himself a glass of water. He grabbed his phone from the bedside table to ask Harry, but his phone died. Tom scoffed, sat up, and reached the drawer of his bedside table. He leaned over to look for his phone charger, but he saw a letter instead. It had his name on it and he realized that it was your handwriting. Tom quickly grabbed it and put his phone back on the bedside table. He opened the envelope and read what you wrote for him.

Dear Tom,

Hi. When you read this, you know that I'm gone. I'm sorry that we never got to bond a lot. I guess it's my fault because I was so scared of you. Despite that, I want you to know that I'm really happy for you and I'm proud of you.

You're my inspiration and please know that I'm very proud to be your sister.

I don't know where I'll end up when I'm gone, but please don't worry about me. I'll be okay, I can feel it. I'll just go where the wind takes me.

You're a kind person for the whole time I've known you. I'll miss everything and I'll miss your pranks and jokes. Please never stop doing those just because I'm gone. I hope you think of me whenever you tell a joke or pull a prank on Harry again.

I wish we bonded more. I wish we made cookies until Sam kicked us out of the kitchen because he needed to prepare for dinner. I wish we watched movies together and I wish we spoke often.

I'll miss you all the time and I love you. So much. Never forget that.

Your sister,

Y/N/N x

Tom cried again until he slept with the letter resting on his chest. The next morning, he got up to go to your room. He dreamt of you and he wanted to tell you about it. He glanced at the door and noticed that it was unlocked. He slowly opened it and to his surprise, he saw you standing there watching everyone outside from your window.

“Y/N.” Tom said.

You turned around and smiled at him, “Hey, Tom.”

“I dreamt of you! And in my dream, you were a ballet dancer. We did ballet together. Wouldn't that be something? It could be a bonding thing for us." Tom said with a big smile as he fully entered your room. All of a sudden, he forgot about your sickness, your death, your sickness. From an outsider's point of view, it was a sad sight to see. He was clearly in the denial stage.

Harry was on his way downstairs when he heard a voice coming from your room. He quietly opened the door and saw Tom excitedly talking to thin air.

"You know, I'm not doing anything anytime soon. Why don't we go out? It'll just be you and me, Y/N." Tom smiled. Harry's heart broke upon hearing this. His older brother was imagining their dead sister. Harry kept it to himself because he thought that Tom was coping that way.

It wasn't until Sam witnessed the same thing. Tom was in the kitchen and he was talking to thin air once more. Sam watched as Tom laughed and said a bunch of things. Sam kept it to himself too.

Paddy, however, was different. He went to Harry and Sam's room, unannounced. He closed and locked the door behind him as the twins looked at him in confusion.

"Okay, I can't be the only one to notice it." Paddy said with arms crossed.

"What're you talking about?" Harry asked.

"Tom." Was all Paddy said. The twins looked at each other before looking back at Paddy.

"What about him?" Sam asked, his eyebrows were raised a bit.

"Tom told me that he'll bake Y/N's favorite cookies tomorrow because Y/N said she was craving for it." Paddy explained.

"I saw Tom talking to thin air the day after the funeral. He was in Y/N's room." Harry confessed.

"I saw him doing that too, but he was in the kitchen this time. I'm worried about him." Sam said.

"What should we do?" Harry asked with a frown on his face.

"Let's just let him be for a while. Let’s just intervene when it gets out of hand.” Sam decided as the other two nodded.

They just let Tom be until they had enough.

Tom couldn't believe what his brothers were telling him. He felt sick to his stomach. His baby sister was gone and the thought of it ate him alive. He shook his head and Sam said, “Tom, everything will be alright. We’ll get through this together. We’ll be fine.”

“That can’t be true. I’ve been speaking to her. Stop fucking lying.” Tom cried.

“Tom, wake up! She’s not here, alright?! She’s not in her room anymore. Her things will forever be untouched and her books will be dusty. Her phone hasn’t been charged since she died and it’ll stay that way. All we have left are pictures, videos, and memories of her. We should accept that because no matter what happens, we can’t bring her back!” Harry said as his voice was raised.

“Just go to bed, mate. You’re tired.” Paddy said softly. “We’ll deal with this in the morning.”

Tom wiped his tears and went up to his room, slamming the door. He went to sleep and dreamt of you again. Both of you were on top of a small hill and the wind was blowing softly.

“Why can’t they see you?” Tom asked you.

“Because I only showed myself to you. I know that we haven’t been really close and I figured you’d want some kind of closure. In truth, I’m only here because of you. The light has been calling me and they want me to leave already, but I can’t because I know you’d be sad. I hate seeing you sad.” You explained.

“Then stay here.” Tom begged, but you shook your head.

“You need to let me go, Tom. It’s time. I can’t stay here forever.” You chuckled lightly.

“I just- I feel like nothing. When you were around, I felt like I had a purpose. Now, I just wish I could be with you.” He admitted.

“Don’t say that. Imagine how everyone will react if you’re gone. They’ll be upset. I’m so proud that you’re alive and well because you’ll get to go on with life and grow old. If you can’t do it for yourself, then do it for me. Live the life I never got to live. Trust me when I say that you’ll be happier when you move on.”

“I don’t want to forget you and I don’t want you to think that we’re having fun without you.” He said.

“I won’t think that way because all I ever wanted for all of you is to be happy and healthy. I love you and I miss you, but I want you to have fun and to keep doing everything you love. Don’t stop because I’m gone. Don’t let me be a hindrance because that’ll make me sad and I’ll haunt you forever.” You said as Tom chuckled. “Besides, you don’t have to forget about me. I’ll always be in your heart.”

“Alright.” Tom said. “I think I’m ready to let you go.”

You smiled and nodded as you walked away and stepped into the light. Tom shouted, “Happy birthday, Y/N!”

You looked back and smiled. With that, he knew you were thanking him not just for greeting, but also for everything.

Tom woke up and it was already morning. He decided to get ready and to head to the cemetery. He walked downstairs and saw his brothers eating breakfast.

“Where are you going?” Harry asked before eating his cereal.

“The cemetery. It’s Y/N’s birthday.” Tom said. “I’ll go now. I don’t know what time I’ll be back.”

Tom left and the drive to the cemetery was short and quiet. He parked the car and walked to your grave. He smiled when he saw a small, framed picture of you that Harry placed there not too long ago. He sat in front of your grave and smiled, “Hey, Y/N. I know you can hear me.”

“I guess I did look crazy for a while and I now understand how everyone felt. I, um, I read your letter. I’m sorry too, y’know? I’m sorry I never made the effort to spend time with you. I guess it’s because all my life, I’ve only known about having brothers and when you came along, I didn’t know how to act. But I’m really happy that I got to see you grow up and I’m happy with our few moments together.”

“When you were five, I was fourteen. It’s a wide gap and I remember being so annoyed because your toys were everywhere.” He chuckled at the thought. “Regardless, I loved you and I still do. I’m happy that you grew up to be kind and loving. I’m really fucking happy for that.”

“In your letter, you said that I shouldn’t worry about you. Y/N, I’m sorry, but I can’t promise that. I’m your older brother and that automatically makes me sort of like a second parent especially when mum and dad aren’t around. So, I’ll always worry about you even though I know you’re okay and not in pain.”

“I do, however, promise to always dedicate my pranks to you. I know you’d love that. I’d wish that we bonded, but we already did that. You gave me a chance to get to know the sister I never got to know and that, above all, makes me so happy and grateful. That’s enough for me.”

“I don’t want to say cheesy shit and ask for guidance. I don’t want to burden you in heaven. Like, it’s called a resting place for a reason and I want you to rest easy. I just want to say that I miss you so much and I love you. Happy birthday.” He finished.

Just then, he felt the wind blow in his direction and he knew that you were okay.

* * * *

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