#bringing pepper spray just in case

[fabulouslygaybean]

my younger sister and i are going to the first day of our city's pride fest and im so excited!! scared, but still excited

[mostlysignssomeportents]

How the NYPD defeated bodycams

Anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop. When American patience for racial profiling in traffic stops reached a breaking point, cops rolled out dashcams. Dashcam footage went AWOL, or just recorded lots of racist, pretextual stops. Racial profiling continued.

Tasers and pepper spray were supposed to curb the undue use of force by giving cops an alternative to shooting dangerous-seeming people. Instead, we got cops who tasered and sprayed unarmed people and then shot them to pieces.

Next came bodycams: by indelibly recording cops' interactions with the public, body-worn cameras were pitched as a way to bring accountability to American law-enforcement. Finally, police leadership would be able to sort officers' claims from eyewitness accounts and figure out who was lying. Bad cops could be disciplined. Repeat offenders could be fired.

Police boosters insist that police violence and corruption are the result of "a few bad apples." As the saying goes, "a few bad apples spoil the bushel." If you think there are just a few bad cops on the force, then you should want to get rid of them before they wreck the whole institution. Bodycams could empirically identify the bad apples, right?

Well, hypothetically. But what if police leadership don't want to get rid of the bad apples? What if the reason that dashcams, tasers, and pepper spray failed is that police leadership are fine with them? If that were the case, then bodycams would turn into just another expensive prop for an off-Broadway accountability theater.

What if?

In "How Police Have Undermined the Promise of Body Cameras," Propublica's Eric Umansky and Umar Farooq deliver a characteristically thorough, deep, and fascinating account of the failure of NYPD bodycams to create the accountability that New York's political and police leadership promised:

https://www.propublica.org/article/how-police-undermined-promise-body-cameras

Topline: NYPD's bodycam rollout was sabotaged by police leadership and top NYC politicians. Rather than turning over bodycam footage to oversight boards following violent incidents, the NYPD suppresses it. When overseers are allowed to see the footage, they get fragmentary access. When those fragments reveal misconduct, they are forbidden to speak of it. When the revealed misconduct is separate from the main incident, it can't be used to discipline officers. When footage is made available to the public, it is selectively edited to omit evidence of misconduct.

NYPD policy contains loopholes that allow them to withhold footage. Where those loopholes don't apply, the NYPD routinely suppresses footage anyway, violating its own policies. When the NYPD violates its policies, it faces no consequences. When overseers complain, they are fired.

Bodycams could be a source of accountability for cops, but for that to be true, control over bodycams would have to vest with institutions that want to improve policing. If control over bodycams is given to institutions that want to shield cops from accountability, that's exactly what will happen. There is nothing about bodycams that makes them more resistant to capture than dashcams, tasers or pepper spray.

This is a problem across multiple police departments. Minneapolis, for example, has policies from before and after the George Floyd uprisings that require bodycam disclosure, and those policies are routinely flouted. Derek Chauvin, George Floyd's murderer, was a repeat offender and had been caught on bodycam kneeling on other Black peoples' necks. Chauvin once clubbed a 14 year old child into unconsciousness and then knelt on his neck for 15 minutes as his mother begged for her child's life. Chauvin faced no discipline for this and the footage was suppressed.

In Montgomery, Alabama, it took five years of hard wrangling to get access to bodycam footage after an officer sicced his attack dog on an unarmed Black man without warning. The dog severed the man's femoral artery and he died. Montgomery PD suppressed the footage, citing the risk of officers facing "embarrassment."

In Memphis, the notoriously racist police department was able to suppress bodycam disclosures until the murder of Tyre Nichols. The behavior of the officers who beat Nichols to death are a testament to their belief in their own impunity. Some officers illegally switched off their cameras; others participated in the beating in full view of the cameras, fearing no consequences.

In South Carolina, the police murder of Walter Scott was captured on a bystander's phone camera. That footage made it clear that Scott's uniformed killers lied, prompting then-governor Nikki Haley to sign a law giving the public access to bodycam footage. But the law contained a glaring loophole: it made bodycam footage "not a public record subject to disclosure." Nothing changed.

Bodycam footage does often reveal that killer cops lie about their actions. When a Cincinnati cop killed a Black man during a 2015 traffic-stop, his bodycam footage revealed that the officer lied about his victim "lunging at him" before he shot. Last summer, a Philadelphia cop was caught lying about the circumstances that led to him murdering a member of the public. Again, the officer claimed the man had "lunged at him." The cop's camera showed the man sitting peacefully in his own car.

Police departments across the country struggle with violent, lying officers, but few can rival the NYPD for corruption, violence, scale and impunity. The NYPD has its own "goon squad," the Strategic Response Group, whose leaked manual reveals how the secret unit spends about $100m/year training and deploying ultraviolent, illegal tactics:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/07/cruelty-by-design/#blam-blam-blam

The NYPD's disciplinary records – published despite a panicked scramble to suppress them – reveal the NYPD's infestation with criminal cops who repeatedly break the law in meting out violence against the public:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/27/ip/#nypd-who

These cops are the proverbial bad apples, and they do indeed spoil the barrel. A 2019 empirical analysis of police disciplinary records show that corruption is contagious: when crooked cops are paired with partners who have clean disciplinary records, those partners become crooked, too, and the effect lasts even after the partnership ends:

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2378023119879798

Despite the risk of harboring criminals in police ranks, the NYPD goes to extreme lengths to keep its worst officers on the street. New York City's police "union"'s deal with the city requires NYC to divert millions to a (once) secret slushfund used to pay high-priced lawyers to defend cops whose conduct is so egregious that the city's own attorneys refuse to defend them:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/03/26/overfitness-factor/#heads-you-lose-tails-they-win

This is a good place for your periodic reminder that police unions are not unions:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/28/afterland/#selective-solidarity

Indeed, despite rhetoric to the contrary, policing is a relatively safe occupation, with death rates well below the risks to roofers, loggers, or pizza delivery drivers:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/27/extraordinary-popular-delusions/#onshore-havana-syndrome

The biggest risk to police officers – the single factor that significantly increased death rates among cops – is police unions themselves. Police unions successfully pressured cities across American to reject covid risk mitigation, from masking to vaccinations, leading to a wave of police deaths. "Suicide by cop" is very rare, but US officers committed "mass suicide by cop union":

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/12/us/police-covid-vaccines.html

But the story that policing is much more dangerous than it really is a useful one. It has a business-model. Military contractors who turn local Barney Fifes into Judge Dredd cosplayers with assault rifles, tanks and other "excess" military gear make billions from the tale:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/10/flintstone-delano-roosevelt/#1033-1022

It's not just beltway bandits who love this story. For cops to be shielded from consequences for murdering the public, they need to tell themselves and the rest of us that they are a "thin blue line," and not mere armed bureaucrats. The myth that cops are in constant danger from the public justifies hair-trigger killings.

Consider the use of "civilian" to describe the public. Police are civilians. The only kind of police officer who isn't a civilian is a military policeman. Places where "civilians" interact with non-civilian law enforcement are, by definition, under military occupation. Calling the public "civilians" is a cheap rhetorical trick that converts a police officer to a patrolling soldier in hostile territory. Calling us "civilians" justifies killing us, because if we're civilians, then they are soldiers and we are at war.

The NYPD clearly conceives of itself as an occupying force and considers its "civilian" oversight to be the enemy. When New York's Civilian Complaint Review Board gained independence in 1993, thousands of off-duty cops joined Rudy Giuliani in a mass protest at City Hall and an occupation of the Brooklyn Bridge. This mass freakout is a measure of police intolerance for oversight – after all, the CCRB isn't even allowed to discipline officers, only make (routinely ignored) recommendations.

Kerry Sweet was the NYPD lawyer who oversaw the department's bodycam rollout. He once joked that the NYPD missed a chance to "bomb the room" where the NYPD's CCRB was meeting (when Propublica asked him to confirm this, he said he couldn't remember those remarks, but "on reflection, it should have been an airstrike").

Obvious defects in the NYPD's bodycam policy go beyond the ability to suppress disclosure of the footage. The department has no official tracking system for its bodycam files. They aren't geotagged, only marked by officer badge-number and name. So if a member of the public comes forward to complain that an unknown officer committed a crime at a specific place and time, there's no way to retrieve that footage. Even where footage can be found, the NYPD often hides the ball: in 20% of cases where the Department told the CCRB footage didn't exist, they were lying.

Figuring out how to make bodycam footage work better is complex, but there are some obvious first steps. Other cities have no problem geotagging their footage. In Chicago, the CCRB can directly access the servers where bodycam footage is stored (when the NYPD CCRB members proposed this, they were fired).

Meanwhile, the NYPD keeps protecting its killers. The Propublica story opens with the police killing of Miguel Richards. Richards' parents hadn't heard from him in a while, so they asked his Bronx landlord to check on him (the Richards live in Jamaica). The landlord called the cops. The cops killed Richards.

The cops claimed he had a gun and they were acting in self-defense. They released a highly edited reel of bodycam footage to support that claim. When the full video was eventually extracted, it revealed that Richards had a tiny plastic toy guy and a small folding knife. The officers involved believed he was suffering an acute mental health incident and stated that policy demanded that they close his bedroom door and wait for specialists. Instead, they barked orders at him and then fired 16 rounds at him. Seven hit him. One ruptured his aorta. As he lay dying on his bedroom floor, one officer roughly tossed him around and cuffed him. He died.

New York's Police Benevolent Association – the largest police "union" in NYC – awarded the officers involved its "Finest of the Finest" prize for their conduct in the killing.

This isn't an isolated incident. A month after the NYPD decided not to punish the cops who killed Richards, NYPD officers murdered Kawaski Trawick in his Bronx apartment:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/12/04/kawaski-trawick/#Kawaski-Trawick

The officers lied about it, suppressed release of the bodycam footage that would reveal their lies, and then escaped any justice when the footage and the lies were revealed.

None of this means that bodycams are useless. It just means that bodycams will only help bring accountability to police forces when they are directed by parties who have the will and power to make the police accountable.

When police leaders and city governments support police corruption, adding bodycams won't change that fact.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/13/i-want-a-roof-over-my-head/#and-bread-on-the-table

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

--

Tony Webster, modified https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Minneapolis_Police_Officer_Body_Camera_%2848968390892%29.jpg

CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

[lorre-verie]

random Megumi Fushiguro headcanons

꩜ includes: dating headcanons with gn!reader, general headcanons ft. mentions of yuji, nobara, gojo, maki, panda & indirect mention to toji. w/c: 900-1k

written by both lorre and jude, proofread by jude. (❦) is a comment from lorre, (✧) is a comment from jude 

‧₊˚✩ » he’s clingy. but not clingy clingy, he’s clingy in the way that he always lingers around you, always wants to see your face or just be close to you.

he doesn’t even have to touch you. your presence is more than enough for him.

(❦: awww, basking in his sunlight! his sunlight being his s/o, i mean) (✧: i wouldn’t go that far.) (❦: shhhhh, let them be delusional) (✧: 🤐)

» you know he cares when he asks you if you’ve eaten lunch today, what you ate and if you liked it.

or when he passes you a water bottle without even looking at you during training cause he knows you're thirsty.

or giving you a snack he knows you like from the vending machine without even so much as a word, walking away immediately after. (❦: that’s so cute)

» has a little notebook in his drawer which he fills in little things he’s learned about people he cares about, like their likes and dislikes, or something he's observed.

there’s pages for you, nobara, yuji, maki and...i realise now there are very slim pickings.

there’s even half a page for gojo hidden near the very back.

don’t ask why it’s only half.

» probably wants to do cheesy shit like interlocking your pinkies together while walking, or sharing a milkshake with those curly red straws but feels like throwing up whenever he thinks about mentioning it to you. (✧: you’ll have to be the instigator for this one)

» i’m not even sure what to say about his hair. does he brush it? there’s no way he uses gel to get those spikes right?

they’re so unnatural that there's no chance he does that on purpose. what's up with that nest on his head? does he even know whats going on with his hair??? oh well, doesn't matter. he likes it when he gets to lay down on your lap after a tiring day and you run your fingers through his hair and on his scalp absentmindedly.

he closes his eyes and he feels like he’s achieved true bliss and happiness. 

» if you take your hand away suddenly, he won’t protest.

but his eyes will open ever so slightly, and he’ll just

stare.

why’d you stop??? don’t stop!!!

if after a while you haven’t returned your hand to its rightful place, his bottom lip will just barely jut out.

what? he’s not pouting. don’t be childish.

you hang around itadori too much.

you should spend more time with him instead. 

» he’s protective towards his s/o.

he’ll ask where you’re going and who you’re hanging out with, but he’ll let you go wherever.

but if you’re going somewhere dangerous he’ll come with you.

if you don’t want him to come, take a shikigami with you.

if you don’t want the shikigami to come, well. just be careful.

did you bring everything you needed? an umbrella in case it rains? water? charged your phone?

remember to text him if you need anything.

do you need some cash? take this.

what about pepper spray? or better yet, a hammer?

you have to laugh and stop him from following you straight up to your destination. 

» yeah. he knows he can’t stop you from doing anything you want to, but he just gets antsy. he just doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you, especially if you’re going on a tough mission. 

» sensitive to strong smells. i just know it.

I can imagine him turning his head away in silent disgust everytime he smells something thats too strong, good or bad.

even if its the just air freshener in a taxi, food thats been out a bit too long or, get this, "the smell of fresh leather".

he just seems like the kind of guy. (❦: pack it up, sensitive sniffer)

» notices everything, even if he doesn’t mention it.

oh, you’re hungry? he’s already reaching into his backpack and giving you a snack.

hm, you looked at that plushie a little longer than the other ones. oh?? whats it doing on your bed a few days later??

» insanelyyyyy touch starved but will NEVER admit to it (✧: unless you two are dating, but even then)

» thinks the big spoon and small spoon shit is stupid.

why can’t he hug you and you hug him back facing each other??? why do people do that???? do you just hate being happy and seeing your loved one facing you????

» hates cucumbers. need megumi to leave an area? throw a cucumber at him. he says 'they have a smell' and that 'it's horrid'.

» will add like a buttload of ginger in his food and insist that its not spicy and you should try it if you dont believe him. (❦: dont do it just dont)

» emotionally constipated in terms of communication. he’s good at sorting through his own emotions himself, he just has trouble communicating that, but he tries his best. 

» not a headcanon but i hope we can all agree that he is THE nepo baby

» looks up to maki a whole bunch

» swore to never smoke ever

» isn’t judgemental, but thats just because he doesn’t gaf

» the reason he doesn’t feel comfortable using playful cloud is because he gets this feeling he can only describe as weird whenever he holds it, making his hairs stand on end.

its almost as if he has this connection to it, but it freaks him out.  gojo noticed, but kept silent. 

» pretends his music taste isn’t mainstream but it totally is. but not summery pop mainstream, more like alternative ‘what do YOU know about donald glover/kendrick lamar/tyler the creator’ mainstream

» really liked pandas as a kid but after being enrolled in tokyo jujutsu high he felt somewhat....conflicted.

» changed his favourite animal to wolves soon after.

» he totally has a type! he just didn’t want to tell todo.

OR alternatively, after the fight with todo he thought about it a bit more, and realised he does have a type, but will take that to his grave

(or so he thinks to himself before yuji eventually milks it out of him)

» really patient when a situation needs him to be. he’s very strong mentally because he's needed to be since he was a kid.

» prefers non-fiction books over fiction books. tried to read fiction books but they just didn’t interest him all that much. but, if his s/o liked fiction books…then perhaps he'd consider some.

» had like 6 people confess to him in one year in his previous school but he was weirded out and rejected them over text

» he's a visual learner but its mainly because if someone's telling him something he has a tendency to just space out and not listen or be able to process half of what they said. but sometimes he just does it on purpose LMAO

» He HAS to sleep at least 8 hours. He will not have it if he has to sleep less. Gets extremely irked, but will not say a thing if there's a good enough reason that he has to stay up/wake up early.

» has to fight back a smug smirk whenever nobara mentions his naturally long eyelashes

(❦: its not fair! advocate for equity in genetics!!!!)

(✧: it's definitely not a smile nor smirk, but saying ‘smug corner-of-his-lips-twitches-up-for-0.1-seconds’ doesn't really roll off the tongue)

feels so good to be writing again, you could not believe. these are so incredibly random LMAO but thanks for reading till the end <3 much love, lorre.

© lorre-verie on tumblr. do not translate, modify or plagiarise my works, nor repost it to other sites.

[yanderecrazysie]

Quality Mountain Time (Yandere Jade Leech)

Vignette: Quality Mountain Time

Pairings: Jade Leech x Reader

WARNINGS: yandere themes

“Are you the only applicant to the Mountain Lovers Club this year?” the man in front of you looks you over with sharp, mismatched eyes until you feel bare under his searching gaze.

“Um, yeah, I think so…” you squirm a little, uncomfortable with the way he stared so intently at you, “Sorry…”

The man smiles and you’re met with a row of needle-sharp teeth and a soft laugh. You’re beginning to regret your choice to join when the older student says, “You’re the first applicant to my club.”

“Really?” you were surprised. A club about hiking in the mountains would’ve been a hit where you came from. It was hard to believe that, in such a big school, you were the only other person to show interest.

“I’m Jade Leech, and you must be…” the man took a moment to look over your club application, his gloved hand resting on his bottom lip as he read your information, “...(Y/n)? Is that how you say it?” you nodded and he continued, “That's quite a beautiful name.”

“Thanks,” you replied bashfully.

Jade’s smile widened as he folded your application into a small square and tucked it away in his pocket. He held out his hand to you and you shook it, surprised by the firm gentleness of his grip. There was something about him, something unsettling yet oddly magnetic…

“If I may ask, what attracted you to my club?” Jade asked, his polite tone barely containing his excitement.

You laughed nervously, “I’ve always loved hiking and being in nature. It helps me clear my mind and relax.”

“Is that so?” Jade’s mismatched eyes narrowed slightly, “The mountains can indeed be very… relaxing. But they can also be very dangerous.”

You nodded, feeling a little uneasy, but you quickly brushed that feeling away, “I’m sure I’ll be in good hands with you as my guide.”

The words came out more flirtatious than you meant it to and Jade’s grin turned positively predatory, “Oh, you certainly will be. I’ll make sure of it.”

Before you could think to respond, he stepped closer to you. His presence seemed to take over the entire empty classroom. His hand moved to your shoulder and squeezed it lightly in what was meant to be a reassuring gesture. 

“I must admit,” Jade’s voice dropped to a whisper as he leaned in to speak into the shell of your ear, “I’m glad you’re the only applicant. It gives me the opportunity to pour my sole focus into you… to ensure you receive the best experience possible, of course.”

The way he said experience sent a chill down your spine. You couldn’t help but feel like there was more meaning to his words than he led on. Before you could worry about it too much, Jade stepped back, suddenly smiling calmly and casually at you, as though the moment of intensity had never happened.

“I will see you tomorrow on our first hike of the school year,” the smile on his face did not reach his eyes this time, “Make sure to dress warmly. The mountains can be… unpredictable.”

—-----------------------------------------------------------

Maybe you were crazy to stay in the club. Problem was, you weren’t the type of person to give up, and this was really the only club you had any interest in. Still, you recognized that there was potentially something wrong with your club leader and made sure to pack a can of pepper spray just in case.

When you arrived at the foot of the mountain, pack on your back filled with everything you thought you might need and more, you were surprised to find Jade waiting for you with just a small blue gym bag.

“You didn’t bring a lot of stuff,” you noted, pointing at the half-empty bag the older student held.

“I brought everything I need,” Jade said with a razor-edged smile. 

His words hung in the air and you looked at your stuffed backpack. Maybe you had overprepared, but it was strange… Jade kind of struck you as the type of person that would also overprepare.

“Shall we depart?” Jade asked, gesturing to the winding path that disappeared into the dense foliage that grew alongside the mountain trail.

“Y-yeah, let’s go,” you replied, adjusting your backpack and following him onto the path. The trail started off easy, not too steep and very smooth. The forest was quiet, except for the occasional bird song. 

Jade led the way, his strides long so that you had to pick up the pace to catch up, and purposeful, as though he had walked the path a million times before. As the hike continued, Jade began adding commentary to the nature that surrounded you both.

“That bird species is usually not around the mountain this time of year, aren’t we lucky to hear it now, (Y/n)?”

“That species of mushroom isn’t poisonous, but it’s becoming rarer, so we shouldn’t pick any of it.”

“That tree is probably at least a century old. And that’s young compared to the oldest trees recorded.”

After a while, the trail grew steeper and the trees became denser. The air was thicker and cooler, making it a little harder to breathe than before. You began to feel the strain in your legs and lungs, but Jade showed no signs of stopping. If anything, he seemed to be enjoying himself even more.

“Are you alright?” Jade asked, finally coming to a sudden halt and glancing over his shoulder at you with an almost mocking smile. You braced yourself against a tree and panted heavily. His sharp gaze seemed to be waiting for you to do something.

“I’m fine,” you said between small gasps, “I just need a moment.”

Jade nodded, his expression going blank and unreadable. He leaned against the nearest tree and watched you closely, his golden eye seeming to glow in the dim light. 

You couldn’t tell if he was concerned or if he enjoyed watching you struggle to breathe.

“You know,” Jade’s voice was so soft you had to strain your ears to hear it, “There’s something special about being up here, don’t you think? The isolation. The quiet. A world free of distractions.”

You nodded uncertainly, “Yeah, it’s pretty peaceful.”

“Peaceful… Yes…” Jade’s smile returned, much too wide and sharp to be normal, “It’s the perfect place to truly get to know someone.”

The way he said that made a shiver shoot down your spine. You shifted uncomfortably against the tree, painfully aware of how far away civilization was at this point.

“Let’s continue,” Jade said, pushing off the tree with languid grace. He held out his hand to you, that wide smile still on his face and his eyes lidded.

You didn’t take his hand and just nodded in response, avoiding his gaze as pushed off the tree on wobbly legs. The two of you continued the hike, but this time, you felt uneasy. Jade no longer offered narration on your surroundings, even when you passed more interesting-looking mushrooms. Realization hit you much further on.

He was leading you somewhere.

“Jade, are we still on the right trail?” you asked, forcing your nervousness down and out of your voice.

“Of course,” he replied smoothly, not looking back at you, “I know this mountain like the back of my hand. You’re safe with me.”

You felt anything but safe anymore. The trees around you felt suffocating and the shadows seemed to close in on you. You gripped the straps of your backpack tighter and mentally noted where the can of pepper spray was hiding.

“I think I’ve had enough hiking for today,” you said, forcing a weak smile to your lips.

Jade turned back to stare at you, a flicker of something- disappointment or annoyance, you couldn’t tell- in his eyes. He tilted his head, looking you up and down for a moment, before he placed a hand over his heart and smiled convincingly at you.

“Are you sure? It would be a shame to turn back when we’ve come this far.”

You swallowed, “Yes, I’m sure. Maybe another time.”

That was a lie. You were never going on another hike with this creep ever again. He scared you way too much.

Jade’s smile dimmed for a moment, but he nodded and said in an ice-cold voice, “Very well, let’s head back.”

Relief washed over you, but it was short-lived. As you turned to head back down the mountain, you could tell something had shifted in the atmosphere between you and him. He was behind you now and you could feel his mismatched eyes boring into the back of your skull.

And then, you felt it. A gloved hand wrapped around your wrist in a crushing grip. You froze, heart pounding as you slowly turned to face Jade.

His smile was gone, replaced by an expression of pure malice. His grip tightened even more and you let out a squeak of protest.

“I was hoping you would stay,” Jade murmured, looking almost hurt by your decision to leave early, “It’s rare for me to find a place in my heart for someone else.”

“Let go,” you demanded, reaching your hand back towards your backpack and feeling blindly for the pepper spray.

“Looking for this?” a lazy smile etched its way across Jade’s face as he held up the missing can, tilting it so that the nozzle faced your right eye. You froze in place, waiting for him to spray it directly into your eye.

Jade gave you a push backwards and you winced as your back hit a tree. He was quick to cage you in with his long arms.

“Don’t fight it,” Jade whispered, “We’re just getting started on our little hike. And there’s no one around to hear you scream.”

[yandere-paramour]

Vivien's Morning Routine

If he has to be at work at 9, Vivien's first alarm goes off at 6:30, and it is promptly turned off and ignored.

The next alarm goes off at 6:40, then 6:50, 7:00, 7:15, 7:30, and 7:45. Each successive alarm wakes him up a little more, so by 7:45 he is now 80% awake, enough to get out of bed, even if he does lay around and scroll on his phone for a while.

Each of the alarms is a different bopping song. He specifically only picks songs that are loud and catchy, as quiet, soulful, deep songs will just blend into his dreams instead of waking him up.

Usually he loves listening to these songs, but hearing them waking him out of the gentle caress of sleep is not fun. He changes them every few months to prevent him from permanently hating the song.

Before even getting out of bed, Vivien will send Darling a good morning text and ask how they slept. He eagerly awaits their reply and keeps his phone nearby the entire day, his face lighting up at every phone chime.

He usually sleeps naked or in just his underwear, and the first thing he does after rolling out of bed is head to the bathroom to splash some cool water on his face. Obviously, he doesn't make his bed; he hasn't done that since he was a kid in the foster home.

If it's been a good, productive week, he has meal-prepped his breakfast like cutting up peppers and spices to put in his eggs or baking a batch of muffins to eat during the week.

Unfortunately, it usually isn't a productive week. He'll either buy some baked goods readymade from the store or just make something quick like toast, instant oatmeal, or frozen waffles. They're quick and easy and don't require too much thought so early in the morning from a sleepy guy.

After eating, it is usually 8:30 or so, and he needs to hurry and get ready. He gets a pair of jeans and a work shirt from Laundry Chair and throws them on. He does not care that they are wrinkly; he only cares that they're clean.

He brushes his teeth and runs a brush through his hair. After throwing his shoes and jacket on, he's pretty much ready to go.

He will never admit to this, but he finger-guns himself in the mirror to hype himself up before work. It's kind of cute.

One thing Vivien does not ever forget the night before is to pack his lunch. He loves his sleep, and he knows himself well enough to know that he won't put in the work in the morning. Lunch is usually leftovers from dinner the night before, some fresh fruit, raw vegetables, granola bars, yogurt and honey, and some sort of cracker like goldfish or Cheez-Its. If he's baked recently, he'll throw in something like a cookie or a brownie. He tries to bring a lot of snacks as he has to sustain himself until around 5:00pm.

This isn't obvious, and he's not telling anyone, but there is a secret pocket underneath the main compartment of his lunchbox. That's where he keeps some of his supplies. A bottle or two of pepper spray, an automatic knife, a pocket taser, even some of his sedative herb syrup. The bigger, more obvious stuff is left neatly hidden in his car; this stuff is only if he must protect himself in the immediate. Just in case he needs them.

After filling up his 64oz (half a gallon) water bottle, he grabs his keys off the hook, heads down the stairs, and gets in his car. The garden store is only 8 minutes away, and if he is on time, he will arrive at work at exactly 8:52. He unlocks the shop, flips the sign, and performs a cursory examination of the shop (even though he was there like 16 hours ago and nothing has changed). He puts his lunch in the fridge, and work begins.

He's ready for another day of hanging with the plants!

[ningningsdream]

everyone’s but no one’s | n.jm

pairing: fuckboy!jaemin x college student!reader (ft. sungchan)

genre: college!au, roommates-to-lovers!au, fluff, angst

word count: 19.4k

description: in which your roommate is the guy every girl on campus either slept with or want to sleep with and you have had bad experiences with fuckboys before.

warning(s): alcohol, mention of sex, mention of past relationship traumas (cheating, lying)

taglist; @thatanonymousgirl-as14 @sugazwrld​ (only tagged the people that seemed to be active still, tell me if you want to be removed or added for the next ones)

a/n: this is apart of my new series of roommates-to-lovers with the dreamies, sweet life. i feel like this one is so messy.

main masterlist

suddenly changing university in the middle of your first year was definitely something you didn’t plan but unfortunately the course you chose for your second semester was suddenly moved to their other uni in seoul and apparently they ‘forgot’ to inform the students so a bunch of you had to prepare to move to seoul for the last or change your course. you took some time to decide because you really wanted to stay where you were. the uni was not that far from your house, so you didn’t need to move into a dorm which save you lots of money but on the other hand, you were really excited for that course. so you decided to pack enough clothes for a few days and went to seoul during your summer break, in search of a place to stay.

once you were in seoul, you quickly visited the university you were soon going to attend and asked the secretary if there was any way for you to know if someone on campus needed a roommate. the male assistant directed you towards a board where papers with numbers of students searching for a roommate were scatter. you picked a few tickets with numbers on them along with a picture of their respective flyer.

all you wanted was to find someone nice enough to accept you as a roommate, someone you could maybe be friends with and hang out with. you didn't expect to 'audition' to be one, but at this point, you spent almost your whole summer break looking for a place to stay and you were desperate. you’ve called multiple people, but it seemed like the university didn’t update the board at all because most of the people you ended up calling had either already found someone or moved out of their old place. only one person responded positively to your call but what happened afterwards was pretty unusual. you had to answer multiple questions and pass multiple 'rounds' to finally have someone telling you they'll call you back. you were almost sure you went to the wrong place until one day, when you were watching netflix on the couch of your airbnb, someone called you and told you that you were 'selected' to be the new roommate.

you thought that the process was really weird, i mean who says, 'you've been selected to move in'.

at first, you thought that maybe it was all a scam and that maybe you were going to be kidnap but the guy who asked you all the questions seemed to be around your age and quite nice.

the next day, you took your suitcase, that contained all the things you could bring to seoul, and took a taxi to your new apartment. the building was pretty far from your university, so you had to take the public transportation, but you were okay with it because it was the only place that was available and affordable for your broke ass. it was a pretty simple apartment building with two elevators and a guard. you thanked god for the entrance that was facing an open street rather than an alleyway.

you knocked on the door with one hand while the other one was resting on the mini pepper spray in your pocket just in case. a pretty cute guy opened the door greeting you with a smile, ”oh you must be y/n, right?”, he asked after spotting your suitcase. you nodded and he stepped aside, opening the door wider for you to come in.

“nice to meet you...?”

“jaemin, na jaemin.”, he gave you the prettiest smile you’ve ever seen.

“nice to meet you, jaemin. not to be rude but are you living here too? i thought the guy who asked me all the questions the other day was the only one living here.”

“oh, chenle? nah, his apartment is much nicer than this one. i just asked him to take in some candidatures while i was working and from what i've heard he went a little overboard with the interviews...”

you chuckled at his words. 'overboard' was indeed a way to describe chenle's method.

jaemin then showed you your room and you were happy that it already had all the furniture you needed so that you wouldn’t have to waste more time furniture shopping. you told your new roommate that all of your other stuff were arriving tomorrow just so that he wouldn’t be surprised by the temporary mess that will be present in the living room in a few hours.

you woke up to an empty apartment and a note on the kitchen counter.

hey, i went to work and i’ll be back this afternoon. i made breakfast, it’s still on the stove. enjoy~ -your cute roommate ;)

you tasted the food jaemin left for you, and it was surprisingly really good. you didn’t expect him to be that good of a cook.

when you received a call from the driver of the moving truck your parents hired, you immediately made your way down to the front of the building and were welcomed by a nice looking man by the name of taeil, he even helped you carry them in and out of the elevator on your floor. you thanked the man as he left and started to carry your boxes from the hallways into your living room. after some time, you really started to curse yourself for having so many things, your arms started to ache and your back started to hurt a little. you almost had a heart attack every time the elevator opened and one of your neighbors stepped out, giving you a weird look.

“oh my god, you scared me!”, you jumped at the sudden interruption in your silence, almost dropping the box in your hands, “do you want some help?”, he said, holding his arms out so you could give him the box.

“it’s okay, i’m almost done anyway.”, you gave the stranger a smile.

“alright. i’m hyunjin by the way. you’re jaemin’s new roommate, right?”

“yeah, are you going to seoul marketing as well?"

hyunjin nodded, "what are you majoring in?"

"international exchange and you?"

"business administration.", he answered as you arrived in front of your respective door, "well see around and...good luck...with jaemin.", he smirked, knowingly.

you furrowed your eyebrows, understanding that he was implying something but not knowing what it was, "what do you mean?"

"well...you know...", he smiled, eyes expressing something you couldn't decipher. upon seeing the look on your face, his expression changed to one of confusion, "you don't?"

"i just transfer from the gwangju branch so i don't really know anything about what's going on here."

"oooh.", hyunjin nodded as he understood now why you didn't know what everybody knew, "well, jaemin's a pretty notorious fuckboy and you being...", he said, his hand showing you.

" i see. i'll keep that in mind, thanks.", you said before entering your new apartment.

you really couldn't escape them, could you?

"hey, roommie! dinner's ready!", jaemin called you from the kitchen.

you walked into the kitchen confused as you saw jaemin setting two plates down onto the small table for two.

"oh. you didn't have to. i was going to order something.", you said, feeling guilty.

"i'm saving you money. we're student, we're broke."

jaemin wasn't wrong. you didn't often eat out but since you spent your whole day opening boxes and arranging your room, you were too tired to make yourself something to eat, plus, you didn't have time to go grocery shopping.

"you should have called me to help you.", you said.

"it's alright. consider this a welcome diner.", he smiled in a way that made you wonder how that soft face of his could be one of a fuckboy.

you sat opposite him and looked at the pasta dish in front of you.

"i made gochugang pasta."

"gochugang pasta?"

the combo sounded weird to you but gochugang and pasta were good separately so why not together. you picked up the fork by your plate and tasted jaemin's dish. you didn't notice but he patiently waited for your reaction. as soon as the pasta touched your taste buds, your eyes widened in surprise. you chew and nodded at the same time, "woah. that's really good!", you complimented.

jaemin smiled in satisfaction, saying, "glad you like it, i got the recipe from a friend."

you continued to eat in silence for a while before jaemin broke it, "what are you majoring in?"

"international exchange, what about you?", you asked.

"retail communication. why did you...transfer here, if you don't mind me asking?", jaemin was quite hesitant to ask since it could be a sensitive topic.

"a course i chose for this semester was moved to seoul so i decided to move with it. it was either that or change it to something boring so..."

"i see. tomorrow's your first day, right? i can give you a ride to campus if you want."

"oh you don't have to-"

"i insist. it'll be dumb to let you use public transports when i can just drive you. it's not like it's somewhere i wasn't going too."

"thanks...again."

what your neighbor told you have been on your mind the moment you closed the door to your apartment after speaking with him. you've frequented a handful of fuckboys in your life so you knew to stay away from them. you didn't know what type of fuckboy jaemin's was yet but you sure were going to be careful and not get involve more than necessary with him.

the next day when you arrived on campus with jaemin by your side, some people stared at the two of you, whispering among themselves, thinking you wouldn't be able to hear.

"who is that?"

"probably his new toy of the moment."

"too bad, i was hoping it'll be my turn."

"just wait a week and he'll be over her."

you rolled your eyes, annoyed by all the stares and whispers. you really hated how people could be so foul behind your back. jaemin noticed and felt guilty since his reputation was impacting you.

"you know the way to your first class, right?", jaemin asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts. you nodded, taking your schedule out of your tote bag, "okay, see you later, ROOMMATE.", he almost shouted the last word, shutting down all whispers. you smiled at him in gratitude before walking to your first class of the semester.

you took a seat in the middle rows of the auditorium waiting for the class to start.

"hey. is this place available?", someone asked, pointing to the seat next to yours. you nodded and the person smiled at you, sitting down, "i'm ryujin, by the way. everyone seemed to be with their own friends so i hope you don't mind me being next to you."

"not at all. i actually just transferred here so i literally just know my roommate."

"oh really?"

"i'm y/n, by the way."

"who's your roommate? maybe i know them."

"everyone seems to know him...", you said, "na jaemin is my roommate."

"oh.", ryujin's eyes widen as she stayed silent for a second, her lips forming the letter 'o'.

"is he that bad?"

"he is not bad...just very very popular."

"i heard he was a fuckboy but i didn't think it would be that big of a thing. people stared at me when we arrived together this morning, like we were some kind of reality show or something."

"he's not just 'a' fuckboy, he's 'the' fuckboy. he practically put out of business 90% of the fuckboys in this uni."

"what really?", you didn't know if you should be impressed or disgusted.

ryujin nodded at your statement, "everyone knows though that if they get with him, it's not gonna last. of course, some are still delusional and think they can 'change him'."

you nodded, acknowledging her words. you couldn't judge those girls, having been of that same path too many times.

your professor entered the room, silencing every conversation going on. you focused on your class, pushing all thoughts concerning your roommate to the back of your mind.

going grocery shopping after class, want to come?

jaemin texted you during your last class.

sure

you responded. you needed to go grocery shopping anyway since you just moved in and had nothing to feed yourself at the apartment. so you found yourself in the snack aisle with jaemin by your side, helping him debate whether or not he should buy two packets of gummies or only one.

"you know what? take your time. i'll go get some other things.", you said before walking to another aisle.

after five good minutes on debating with himself, jaemin put one gummy packet down and went on his way to find you with the shopping cart. he spotted you in front of a sample stand, jumping up and down, looking at what an ahjumma was making.

"what got you all excited, bunny?", he asked with a grin as he stopped the shopping cart near you.

you didn't notice the nickname he called you, being too focused on the ahjumma, "they have those dumplings here!", you said, excitedly pointing at the food, "i grew up eating those."

the ahjumma smiled at your excitement and so did jaemin. she cut a piece of dumpling in two, stabbing them with two toothpicks.

"here, try it.", you handed one to jaemin as you ate yours, but the boy just ate it from the toothpick you were holding instead of taking it himself, making you feed him, "woah, tastes just like i remember it. do we have some place in the freezer?"

jaemin thought about it for a moment before nodding.

"i'll take two bags of these, please!", you smiled at the ahjumma.

"aigoo~ aren't you two a cute couple? your girlfriend is really cute!", she cooed, giving jaemin the bags of dumplings.

your eyes widened at the remark, ready to politely correct the lady but jaemin beat you to it, "yeah, isn't she?"

that wasn't what you expected him to say. you gave him a look of confusion as he ignored you, smiling at the ahjumma.

"aigoo~ here, take this!", she handed you a coupon for a discount on the dumplings you were going to buy.

"thank you!", you both bowed to the older woman before walking away.

"what was that?", you asked.

"what was what?"

"that whole girlfriend/couple thing?"

"calm down. didn't want to make the ahjumma sad, did you? plus, we got a discount. a friend of mine told me things like that work."

you two got in line to pay your groceries and when jaemin put a separator between his snacks and your groceries, you removed it, saying, "i'll pay for your snacks."

"no, it's fine.", he said, reaching out for the separator you put back but you stopped by grabbing his wrist.

"i'm paying. take it as a thank you for the dinner last night and for driving me to uni today."

"well, you're welcome, and thank you.", jaemin smiled.

you understood why jaemin was so popular. you just had to look at him. his dyed blonde hair always looked perfect, having that messy but sexy style. his personality seemed sweet as well, at least on the outside. if you'd have met him a couple years back, you would have totally fell for him.

"by the way, i usually go grocery shopping on saturdays, every other week. just tell me if you'll want to tag along.", jaemin told you.

"hey, bunny, we're having a movie night wanna join?", jaemin asked you, popping his head in your room through your door.

"who's we? and stop with the nicknames.", you whined, getting up from your bed and opening your door fully before getting out.

"how can i when your reaction's so cute?", jaemin said, making you roll your eyes.

one thing you learned about jaemin from living with him 24/7 was that it was in his second nature to flirt. one of his flirting habits was giving people nicknames. he had called you many since you started living together. from roommie to babe to baby to bunny. bunny was the one he used the most on daily basis. it was weird at first since you thought he was hitting on you or something but you learned that it was just something he was used to doing when you heard him call other people nicknames as well. it even made you wonder if he didn't just forget the names.

"does he always have to be like that?", you asked no one in particular as you walked to the living room.

"always and that's not the worse of him.", a third party sitting on your couch said.

"jeno, this is bunny. bunny, this is my friend, jeno."

"i'm y/n.", you quickly corrected, "so what are we watching?"

"the last violet evergarden movie."

"ooh, so we're gonna need tissues.", you walked to the kitchen table and grabbed the box of tissues on it to put it on your coffee table in front of your couch.

you didn't expect the first person to shed tears to be jaemin. he was full on sobbing, monopolizing the box of tissue to himself. jeno and you gave each other a look before looking back at jaemin who was sitting between the two of you.

"aiya, stop sobbing so hard, we can't hear the movie.", you joked, patting his shoulder.

"you can read the subtitles. i'm saaaad!", jaemin whined while dropping side ways, his head landing on your lap as he kicked his feet on jeno's lap. you were surprised by the gesture at first and looked at jeno to see his reaction.

his friend looked like he was used to it and kept watching the movie. feelings eyes on him, he turned to face you and you just looked down at jaemin and back at jeno with a questioning look.

'you'll get used to it.', jeno mouthed to you before returning his attention to the tv.

you sighed, looking down at the boy on your lap, "get snot on my pajamas and i'll make you cry harder than this movie.", you warned, even thought your whispers were soft, your threat was very real.

you put your hands on top of his head, having no where else to put them since jaemin literally took all the space that was available. your focus was back on the movie completely forgetting jaemin's head until you realized one of your hands was stroking his hair softly. you immediately stopped the habit you picked up through your years of dating and crossed your arms over your chest to stop yourself from doing it again. you thought you heard a whine before jaemin raised one of his arms and waved it around in your direction. you frowned, grabbing it to stop him from hitting you right in the face by inadvertence. jaemin's other hand grabbed your hand holding his arm and put it back in his hair. you didn't move at first, not really sure of what he wanted. jaemin started moving his head around and you finally understood, he just wanted you to play with his hair again. it's been a while since you've been this domestic and to be honest you kind of missed it.

no.

stop thinking about that.

when the credits started rolling, jaemin sat right up, declaring, "i need to drink and talk about my feelings.", he was being dramatic about the feelings part and just wanted to chitchat.

"i don't drink but i'm down for the talk.", you shrugged.

"sorry, gotta go. roommate emergency.", jeno said, raising his phone.

jeno bid his goodbyes and left your roommate and you alone, "still down for drinks and gossip?", jaemin asked you.

"sure.", you said from the couch, stretching your legs on it.

"what do you want to drink?", jaemin asked from the kitchen as he stood in front of the open fridge.

"i bought a bottle of peach juice. it's coral."

"got it!", you heard him open your cupboards in search for glasses, "do you want a glass, a cup or...?"

"just give me a soju glass as well.", your turned to look at jaemin to see him already looking at you with furrowed eyebrows, "what? it's so you wouldn't feel alone."

"gee, thanks.", jaemin said, sarcastically, as he made his way back to the living room.

"thank you.", you said, as jaemin put everything down onto the table.

"you don't drink at all?"

"i do drink sometimes. i cut back on the alcohol because i used to drink my brains out and forget everything that happened after my fifth drink.", you sat up, reaching for the bottle of peach juice.

"understandable. what kind of drunk are you?", jaemin asked, sitting on the couch.

"from what i heard, i'm quite the hoe but again i was always horny so that may have contributed. i haven't been drunk in a while, you? what kind of drunk is the infamous fuckboy na jaemin?"

jaemin rolled his eyes at the title, "you can say i'm quite the hoe as well."

"shocker.", you said, sarcastically.

jaemin rolled his eyes again, "not nice, bunny. i just get clingy. don't mind me if i start hugging you, you can just push me away."

"i'm fine with that as long as you don't try to get in my pants."

"me? i'm not like that, bunny.", he said jokingly making you two laugh, "more seriously, when i'm drunk drunk, i'm never horny, that's why i don't drink a lot at parties.", he winked at the end which made you make an exaggerated gagging expression.

"anyway, how have you been acclimating so far?"

"good. i made some friends, shin ryujin and yoo jimin.", you stopped in your story, as something came to your mind, "did you fuck them?"

"mmmh, haven't fucked them...yet.", he said the last word with a grin after moving his upper body closer to you.

"you're disgusting.", you said, pushing his head back.

"i was jokiiing!", he whined, rubbing his forehead and taking a shot of soju as you rolled your eyes.

"so what's your fuckboy story?", you asked, sipping on your peach juice.

"fuckboy story?", jaemin looked at you with a confused look. you could see he was already a bit tipsy thanks to his rosy cheeks.

"every fuckboy has that one girl that broke them so much that they take their revenge by using the rest of the female population?"

"that's...", jaemin stopped himself, struggling to find a word to describe what he wanted to say, "anyway, i don't have one.", he said, giving up.

"what do you mean you don't have one? you're just being a jerk without any reason?"

"you're hurting my little heart with your harsh words.", jaemin said, placing his hands on the left side of his chest with a pout on his face.

jaemin looked really cute right now. you had to give him credit when it was due.

"do you even have one?", you were only joking when you said this but then jaemin started to bawl his eyes out. you thought he was joking at first, but when the tears didn't stop, you started to wonder if the two bottles of soju he just consumed made him more sensitive, "woah, woah, woah. i was just joking! stop crying, please?", you panicked. you put your glass down and scooted closer to your roommate, "jaemin, stop please.", you shook his shoulders softly to get his attention but he didn't stop, continuing to sob loudly, "pretty, pleeaase?", you decided to stroke his ego and it worked.

the cries suddenly stopped and jaemin looked at you with a big smile, "you called me pretty!"

you looked at him with a deadpanned look on your face, "come on. time to stop drinking. it's getting late and you're obviously drunk.", you grabbed your two empty glasses and bottles of soju along with your peach juice and put them away in the kitchen, quickly washing the glasses.

you expected jaemin to be sleeping in his room after you finished tidying things up but he was still sitting on the couch.

"jaemin...what did i say?", you put your fists on your hips like a mom scolding her child.

"but i don't want to sleep.", jaemin whined.

"we have class tomorrow, you have to sleep."

"bu-"

"no buts. come on.", you grabbed his wrist and pulled him up. thankfully, he didn't resist at all or you'd have struggled a lot more with your non existent strength.

you tucked him in bed and turned around to go back to your room but jaemin stopped you, asking, "where are you going?"

"back to my room? to sleep?"

"why can't you sleep here?", jaemin whined, patting the empty space next to him.

"because we're not that close."

"why can't we be?"

"because.", you saw jaemin pout even more at your answer and sighed. you walked towards him again and patted his head, "goodnight, jaemin. i'm going to choke you if you don't go to sleep."

"i'd like that.", jaemin muttered before closing his eyes and cuddling into his covers.

that night you discovered a new side to your roommate and you much preferred that side to the one he usually showed. and jaemin kept thinking about your question. that one girl he will never forget.

"hey, bunny. i'm going out, don-", jaemin shouted from the living room but got interrupted by you walking into room with a different than usual kind of outfit on.

"oh, you're going out too? is it 127's party?", you asked after looking at his outfit.

"yeah...", he didn't really listen to what you were saying, he just heard your last words and guessed that you were talking about the party. his eyes were too busy, scanning your figure. you were wearing a black bodycon dress with a long mesh top underneath, knee high platforms and your makeup was more suited to a night outing.

you noticed jaemin staring when you continued talking but he didn't seem to respond, and rolled your eyes, "can you turn off your fuckboy mode for one second?"

"i just didn't know you could dress up like that, princess.", the smirk on his face made you roll your eyes one more time, "what were you saying?"

"i'm going to sleep at ryujin and jimin's tonight and are you heading to the party now? to know if you could give me a ride.."

you ended up going with jaemin, texting jimin that she didn't have to pick you up. when you arrived at the party and managed to find your friends, you never saw jaemin again at that party.

since you didn't drink anymore, you were automatically the designated driver. jimin gave you her keys and the three of you had a lot of fun all night.

you met ryujin on your first day on campus and you two got along immediately. she was the one who caught you up on all the dramas going on on campus. that same day, you met jimin, ryujin's friend and roommate, who also became your friend. she was like a mom to you and took great care of ryujin and you, her two insufferable children. the two of them were worried about you living with the uni's ultimate fuckboy at first but you reassured them by telling them that you had no interest in a frugal relationship and their worries decreased as the weeks went by.

jimin was the one from whom you've learned more about jaemin's past. it was during lunch when you witnessed a scene between jaemin and his, then, current hook up. she had slapped him and ran away, hiding her face, probably crying.

"poor girl. another victim on na jaemin's list.", ryujin said, shaking her head before returning to her food.

"it's crazy how things can change.", jimin said, eyes following the girl who ran out of the cafeteria.

"what do you mean?", you asked her.

"i was in high school with jaemin and he wasn't like that back then.", you gave her a look that meant you wanted to know more, "he was quite popular back then as well but he always declined every confession he received, all really politely without sleeping with them first or anything. rumors spread about him dating someone secretly or having a crush on someone."

after hearing that, you found your roommate more mysterious than you thought him to be. at first, he seemed like some random fuckboy but the more you saw of him, the more he intrigued you.

a slap on your shoulder caught your attention.

"i don't feel so good...", ryujin screamed for you and jimin to hear as you three were dancing in the middle of the crowd.

you two stopped and looked at your friend, worried, "told you to not drink that last mix you made.", you said, shaking your head.

"do you want to throw up?", jimin asked.

ryujin shook her head, "no, i think i just need some fresh air."

"you go out front, first. i'll grab some water.", you said to jimin who seemed to still be able to act and think clearly.

luckily, the kitchen's fridge was also filled with some water bottles so you grabbed three and closed the door. turning around, you almost bumped into someone.

"oh!", the other person grabbed your shoulders to stop you from falling backwards, "i was going to ask you if you wanted a drink but i see that you helped yourself already.", the boy in front of you smiled.

you looked at him for a moment, trying to figure out if you knew him or not and he seemed to have picked up on it, "i'm sungchan by the way. we're in some classes together."

you nodded with a smile, "i'm y/-"

"y/n, yeah, i know.", he interrupted you, "sorry, i've been meaning to come and talk to you sooner but never seemed to know what to say.", he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. you thought he was cute.

"i'm sorry, i really have to get these to my friends.", you said, really apologetically, "but feel free to come and talk to me and my friends whenever.", you smiled before walking away. you hoped he'll come talk to you in class.

you made your way to the front yard of the frat house where ryujin and jimin were waiting for you. ryujin was lying on the grass with jimin by her side.

"hey, sorry i bumped into someone.", you said, giving them a water bottle each, "how are you feeling?"

"better.", ryujin said after gulping down 1/3 of the bottle.

"i just realized that this is our first party together.", jimin said.

"i must admit, i'm not much of a party girl anymore.", you said.

"oh really?", ryujin asked with wide eyes.

"yeah. i was the worse. i'm a lightweight but i used to drink so much, it was insane. sometimes i wonder how am i even still alive.", you joked.

"woah, i'd never think you'd be that kind of girl if you didn't tell me.", jimin commented.

"yeah, me neither."

"why did you stop?", jimin asked.

"drinking and partying too much led me to make many bad decisions on the moment.", you vaguely answered, not really in the mood to go in detail.

"i also just realized something.", ryujin said as she seemed to have sober up, "you never talk about your past. i mean you just transferred here in the middle of the year. you must miss your parents, your friends,..."

"not really. my life has been quite lonely so far.", you smiled even though it wasn't a cheerful nor happy one, "i'm glad i found you guys though.", ryujin and jimin reached out for your hand and you three stayed in a comfortable silence while holding hands, until you broke it, "do you know a sungchan?"

"who? sungchan?", ryujin tapped the side of her head, trying to remember where she heard that name before, "isn't he in one of our classes or something like that?"

"that's what he said when i bumped into him earlier, along with how he wanted to come talk to me but never could."

jimin and ryujin gave each other a look before turning back to you with a mischievous smile.

"don't start.", you warned.

"you did by asking about him.", jimin teased.

"i just wanted to know if i should be careful around him."

"from what i heard, or rather not heard, he doesn't seem to be the type to break many hearts around campus.", jimin said.

the rest of the night was kind of a blur to your two friends but you did get them home safely, tucking them in bed and leaving a bucket on the side for them to use if they ever need to urgently throw up. you were supposed to stay but you really wanted to lay in your bed and you also didn't want to take care of the vomit if there ever was. you loved these girls but your friendship limit was puke. you left jimin a note, saying that you were going to take her car to drive home and that'll you'd give it back to her the next day.

once you've drove home, parked the car, got into your building and took the elevator, you stood in front of your apartment door, rummaging through your small bag, looking for your keys, "shit."

your apartment building had a really safe security system, where you needed a special badge in order to tap in the code to your home. you facepalmed yourself, remembering the exact events that led you to being left outside your own apartment. you always put your keys on the small table next to the entrance. the moment you were putting everything in your bag was also the moment you noticed jaemin staring at you. with the conversation going on with your roommate, you forgot to take your keys on your way out.

you grabbed your phone and looked for jaemin's contact. you wondered if he was still at the party or fucking someone right now. in case it was the latter, you chose to text him.

hey, i went home but forgot my keys

if you're home, open the door when your done with whoever

if you're not then hurry when you're done?

im sorry, i'll make it up to you if i ruined anything

you waited, waited and waited. your phone was almost out of battery so you decided to not use it, just in case, jaemin called you to tell you he had a magical spare key hidden somewhere. you even contemplated ringing your neighbor's doorbell but you didn't know him and it'd be weird.

your eyes were getting heavier and heavier. you tried not to fall asleep but it was getting harder every minute that passed by. your greatest mistake was allowing your eyes to close, 'resting them for five minutes'.

jaemin was checking his phone on his way out of his last night's hook up's place when his eyes widened as he saw all your messages from the previous night or rather 2am. he rushed to his car and drove back to your shared apartment as fast as he could, almost hitting a grandma on the way. drive carefully everyone.

the elevator seemed to be extremely slow at that particular moment. when it finally arrived at your floor, jaemin rushed out, his eyes landed on you, sitting on the floor, back against your shared apartment door.

"y/n! y/n!", jaemin shook you awake.

you whined, trying to curl up on yourself.

jaemin took his badge out, beeping it on the machine next to your door and taping in the digicode. jaemin moved your back from the door to open it then proceeded to carry you bridal style.

"wooh, why am i flying?!", you panicked, immediately opening your eyes to be met with your roommate's face. you almost jumped out of his arms.

"calm down, bunny. don't hop, you're gonna hurt yourself.", jaemin smiled at you, "your hands are really cold. your whole body is."

you didn't notice your hands on the back of his neck as you instinctively tried to hold onto something, feeling your body levitating.

it's about to get really hot if you don't let me down, you thought.

"put me down, please?", you asked, almost in a whisper. your throat felt really dry, having drank nothing since you left the party.

jaemin let go of you and watched you go pour yourself a glass of water as he closed your apartment door, "i thought you were sleeping at ryujin and jimin's?"

"i was supposed to, but i didn't feel like dealing with them throwing up in the middle of the night so i went home. where were you? i thought you would have taken the chance of having the apartment to yourself to bring someone over.", you said, feeling rehydrated by the water you just drank.

"i never bring people home.", jaemin clarified.

"why?"

"feels too intimate. it's my personal space."

"i see. well, i'm going to take a hot shower and sleep for awhile. if jimin drop by, tell her i parked her car near the waffle place and give her these.", you said, showing him jimin's keys before putting them on the little dinner table.

after that night, you were careful to check if you had your keys on you every time you left the house and jaemin made sure he was home after every party. even if it meant leaving the pretty stranger he just hooked up and cuddled with for some time. he wanted to make sure that whatever happened that night, never happen again. he wanted to make sure his roommate made it home safe every night.

"hey, y/n.", a voice said, as the person sat next to you while you were talking with ryujin.

"oh, hey! sungchan, right?", you greeted. the boy nodded with a little smile, "this is my friend, ryujin."

the two greeted each other with a nod.

"you don't mind me sitting here, right?", sungchan asked, talking about the seat his actually occupying.

"it's fine. it's usually just the two of us.", you replied.

"how come we've never seen you around uni before?", ryujin asked. even though the university was pretty big, someone who looked like sungchan wouldn't go unnoticed and ryujin knew she would've heard about him at least once.

"oh, i just transferred here this semester-"

"oh? you too?", you interrupted him in shock.

"you transferred here too?", sungchan asked you with wide eyes.

you nodded, "i thought i was the only one. everyone kept telling me i was crazy."

"us too! i transferred here with my friend, shotaro."

"oh? you're friend with shotaro?", ryujin suddenly asked. the boy nodded even though he seemed confused, "he's going out with my friend, chaeryeong. even though she says they are just hanging out 'as friend' for now."

"aaaah, chaeryeong! shotaro can't stop talking about her for real, i almost want to choke him every time.", sungchan joked.

"whoa, we're really living in a small world.", you laughed.

you three stopped talking when the professor entered the room, focusing on his class and what he said.

after your class, the three of you walked to the cafeteria for lunch, "want to join us for lunch?", you asked sungchan.

"sure, can shotaro come?"

"why not.", you shrugged.

"oh i'll text chaeryeong and tell her to come as well."

"oh! good idea!", sungchan and ryujin high fived each other and got on their phone to text their respective friend which made you smile.

after getting some food, you joined jimin at your usual table, "jimin-aaaah, i missed you.", ryujin cooed at her friend.

"we saw each other this morning.", jimin replied, making ryujin pout playfully.

they were joined later on by shotaro and chaeryeong who seemed taken aback when they saw each other at first but then casually slipped into a conversation of their own.

"oh my god! you had mr.kim too?!", you said as sungchan and you started talking about your old uni.

"mmh! he was my favorite i think. his way of grading paper was the funniest."

"right?! his comments were always so interesting."

"one time he wrote 'this doesn't make any sense but i see what you mean and that scares me'. i still wonder if it's a good thing or not."

you laughed at his anecdote along with him.

"i think i kept all the papers he graded because it was just too funny to throw away. once he wrote 'i am not convinced' and three lines after that he wrote 'you convinced me'. mr kim was just the best for those kind of things."

you kept talking about uni related stuff as well as the restaurants and shops surrounding the area. you found out that you had quite a lot of things in common and he was quite an easy guy to talk to.

after a long day of what seemed like endless classes and a dinner at ryujin and jimin's place, you finally got to type in the digicode to your home. you lazily hung your coat at the entrance and removed your shoes to slip your slippers on.

you didn't expect to see jaemin drinking alone in the living room.

"hey, you okay?", you asked him as he seemed to be in some kind of trance, not even noticing your arrival.

jaemin quickly snapped out of it, quickly turning his head away from you, hands reaching for his eyes. you were alarmed by his actions and quickly made your way towards the couch. you tried to look at his face but he turned his head back the other way. you sighed and tried to turn him back towards you but he resisted. you ended grabbing his head and turning his face forcefully towards you. you wonder how you didn't snap his neck. you got worried when you saw his bloodshot eyes and wet cheeks, "what happened?", you asked, sitting down next to him.

jaemin didn't answer but his mouth quickly turned into a pout and his eyes filled with tears again. you brought him in your arms and gently patted his head, letting your roommate cry in the crook of your neck.

you two weren't the closest roommates ever but you did consider him your friend. you've been living together for a few months now and had spent quite some time together from grocery shopping to cooking together to having a special night at least once a week or every two weeks to watch bridgerton together. you two grew quite fond of the show and always ended sharing the same plaid and talking about the relationships in the show.

you've never seen him cry for something else than a character death or three seconds of sad background music during an intense moment of your show, so that was new to you.

"is it that hard to believe that i am capable of getting in a relationship?", he said as he let go of you a little so you could see his face and hear him.

"well..."

jaemin sobbed even harder. it wasn't your intention to make him cry or hurt him, you just never thought that dating was something that jaemin considered, with his reputation. you thought he just wanted to live his youth.

"hey, what happened?", you asked softly.

jaemin didn't answer you and just held onto you tighter. you ran your hand through his hair in comfort, not knowing what else to do.

"you can come and talk to me anytime you want you know. i'll listen.", you offered.

you felt jaemin nod but he never told you why he cried that night.

"hurry, bunny or i'm starting without you.", jaemin shouted from the living room as you were in the kitchen. you poured the popcorn into a bowl while reading the text sungchan just sent you. jaemin noticed you smiling while holding the bowl of popcorn in one hand and typing on your phone with your other hand. he got curious when you handed him the bowl and sat next to him, not even giving him a look and still typing away on your phone.

"who are you texting?", jaemin asked in a teasing tone.

"sungchan.", you answered, putting your phone away.

"are you close? you smiled like an idiot while texting him.", he said, poking your cheek and side as he teased you.

"yah! stop!", you tried to stop his poking but failed as he managed to poke you still. after some fighting action, you managed to stop his two hands by grabbing his wrists. you pulled yourself closer to him, leaning on his side before letting go of him to grab the bowl of popcorn, "we're just friends.", you said, referring to sungchan, "he wouldn't want to date me.", you grabbed the remote and pressed play.

"why would you say that? you're a 100% dateable."

"not really.", you muttered under your breath.

it wasn't that you thought you weren't dateable. your view of love was just different from what people your age would consider normal. you've had so many failed and toxic relationship that you were scared that it was the only type of relation you could have. you also wanted something most people were scared of, even though they would never admit it; commitment.

you had gotten to know sungchan these past few weeks and you two had become quite close friends. ryujin and jimin were telling you that sungchan and you would be a really cute couple but you denied every time. not because you weren't attracted to him but as you got to know him, you discovered that he was totally the type of person you would've wanted to be your first boyfriend. he seemed too pure hearted for you to risk breaking his heart.

"you're crushing my shoulder.", jaemin complained next to you.

"could've just push me away.", you dramatically said, flying to the other end of the couch.

"nooo, come back.", he pulled onto your arm to bring you closer to him again but he pulled harder than you expected and you literally flew right onto him. your eyes went wide as you realized the position you two were in. your face was so close to his you could feel his breathing on your lips. you quickly backed away and repositioned yourself as before. jaemin didn't move for a few seconds, trying to comprehend why his heart was beating so fast when you were close to him and why it was still beating that fast when you pulled away.

you ended up, cuddling with jaemin, his arms around you, giving you warmth. from an outsider point of view, people may think that there was something going on between the two of you but it was just how you two came to act with one another. jaemin being the clingy type, you saw him back hugging his friend, jeno, when he came over to cook something or how he always found a way to pinch his younger friend's, jisung, cheeks when he came by. you just accepted his clinginess because there was no way out, you could see it on his friends' face and you also enjoy the skinship. you missed being that close with someone.

being jaemin's roommate meant that you got to witness multiple side of him that he didn't usually show in public or to people other than his close friends. he would sometimes come back home in a grumpy or sad mood and just hug you in silence. you were confused the first time it happened. it was a few days after you had found him drinking alone on your couch. you were used to his flirty side and his clinginess but nothing really prepared you for that side of him that just made you want to wrap him in a blanket and feed him some soup. above being surprised, you were worried. jaemin usually showed his cheerful and happy self so seeing him that silent with a neutral expression, worried you a lot, every time, especially because he wouldn't communicate how he felt.

once in a while, jeno, jaemin's friend who kind of became yours as well, came by to eat dinner with you two but it often ended up with you two making dinner, waiting for jaemin to get home since he recently got a part-time job.

"can you cut the onions? i'll make the rice.", you said, gathering your hair in a ponytail.

jeno nodded, quickly tying his apron and grabbing a cutting board along with a knife, "woah, look at that. we should open a restaurant.", he joked with his usual eye smile.

"just wait five minutes and i'll be throwing boiling jjigae at you while you attack me with gochugaru.", you joked back.

you heard the door open and some rustling in the entrance, "jaemin-ah! you're back?", jeno shouted from the kitchen.

jaemin passed by the living room and the kitchen without really saying anything. he just mumbled something before heading towards his room. jeno and you gave each other a look, knowing all too well this behavior of jaemin. jeno nodded towards you and then the direction in which jaemin went, his eyes saying, 'go see what's wrong.'

you frowned at him, shaking your head before repeating his actions towards him, your eyes arguing with his, 'you, go see what's wrong.'

you didn't have the time to continue arguing that you heard jaemin coming out of his room. you two quickly got back to your occupation, which was cutting vegetables for jeno and boiling water for the daenjang jjigae for you. you two focused on cooking until jaemin came into the kitchen a few minutes later, hair still wet from the shower he just took.

"why didn't you dry your hair? it's late. it's not gonna dry before you go to sleep.", you said, glancing at him as you took the vegetables jeno finished cutting to put them in the stew.

"it's alright.", jaemin said with no tone whatsoever. he wrapped his arms around your shoulders as you stirred the vegetables in the boiling broth. you leaned your head back on him a little as he hid his face in the crook of your neck.

it was moment like that that made jeno felt like the most third wheel of all third wheels, "i knew i should've brought hyuck and the lil chef.", he muttered to himself, concentrating on cutting the meat.

you felt wet droplets of water hitting your skin but figured it was just jaemin's wet hair so you discarded it at first. you were immediately alarmed when you suddenly heard jaemin quietly sniff. you dropped your wooden spatula on the counter and turned towards jaemin. you grabbed his face to examine it and prevent him from hiding his tears from you. your eyes soften at the view of jaemin's tear-stained cheeks and glossy eyes. you didn't like seeing him cry.

"yah, can you two, old couple, get back to cooking? i'm hungry!", jeno nagged at the two of you, pointing his knife accusingly.

"who are you calling old couple? i'm not gonna fall for his fuckboy antics."

thankfully, you were the one facing jeno and not jaemin so he couldn't see his crying face.

"we'll be back.", you said, grabbing jaemin's wrist and dragging him away, "please, finish cooking for us.", you stuck your tongue out at jeno to tease him.

"what am i? your private chef?", jeno screamed after the two of you, making you laugh.

you pulled jaemin into the bathroom making him sit on the toilet after closing the lid.

"what's going on?", you asked, as you took a hair dryer out of one of the sink's drawers.

"nothing.", jaemin said, trying hard to control the tone of his voice. you turned to look at him with your hand on your hip like a mom waiting for her child to confess something, "too many things. i just got overwhelmed.", he finally admitted.

your stance softened at his answer and you sighed, "you know, what i said the first time i saw you bawling your eyes out like a baby still stands. you don't have to keep everything inside of you until you eventually explode.", you said, as you plugged the hair dryer in the outlet. you then turned it on and turned towards jaemin to dry his hair. thankfully the cord was long enough.

jaemin put his arms around your waist in a loose hug, relaxing as you ran your hand through his hair, feeling the hot air of the hair dryer blowing on his skin. he thought about what you said and you weren't wrong in any way. jaemin knew he was used to bottling everything up until he could see jeno or renjun to talk it out but since they were all in uni there wasn't much time for them to see one another, even when jeno came over, he had to leave quite early due to his busy schedule and personal matter which was too early for jaemin to open up.

it took you ten minutes to dry your roommate's hair just enough for them to dry completely on their own before he went to bed. jaemin was disappointed when he didn't hear the loud blowing of the hair dryer anymore. he wanted to stay like this just a little more.

"come on or jeno is totally going to leave with the dinner we made.", you said, holding your hand out to jaemin to grab after putting the hair dryer back in its place.

you two came back to the living room where jeno already placed everything on the table, "it has been 55 days since my friends left me alone in their kitchen where i had to fight to finish this meal. ", jeno started talking as if there were people at the table with him as a joke.

you chuckled, "did you go crazy?"

"i might've.", jeno replied, widening his eyes.

"come on, let's eat, i'm starving."

you all started eating together and updating each other on your daily lives, well mainly you and jeno, jaemin didn't really talk much. you were excited about the updates on his roommate and crazy neighbor. it was all the drama you needed. filled with unexpected twists and cliché tropes.

you accompanied jeno to the door when it was time for him to leave while jaemin was doing the dishes, "is jaemin okay?", jeno mouthed to you so your roommate wouldn't hear.

"he's alright, i think."

"call me if you need me."

you nodded as you showed him an okay sign with your hand.

"i will never cook here again.", jeno said as he stepped outside of your apartment.

"see you next time, jeno!", you said, fully knowing that he will be back, in your kitchen with an apron on in no time.

after sending jeno away, you went to take a shower and brush your teeth before laying on your comfy bed, cuddling into your covers. you were scrolling through your instagram feed when there was a knock on your door. you knew that it could only be your roommate, especially at this hour. you hummed in response, signaling to him that he could enter.

"are you sleeping?", jaemin's head popped in your doorway. you thought he looked cute in his pajama set.

"obviously not.", you answered, sitting up and patting the place next to you on your bed. jaemin slowly entered your room fully, closing the door behind him, "what's going on in that head of yours?", you asked, poking his head gently.

jaemin gently grabbed your hand to stop you, bringing it down between the two of you without letting go. sometimes, your roommate did things that made you wonder if his feelings towards you were completely platonic, but every time those thoughts came to your mind, you quickly pushed them away, excusing them as his flirty habits, ignoring the little acceleration your heart experienced.

"am i that unlovable?", jaemin asked even though he whispered it under his breath.

"what?"

"there's this girl. we dated for like two years in high school but she was really jealous. she didn't want us to go public because her parents were pretty strict and didn't want her to date in high school. but the thing was that she was really insecure and would think that i was cheating on her with other girls that confessed their feelings to me. the relationship was so rocky with many ups and downs, mainly downs. she ended up breaking up with me because she couldn't handle the secrecy of our relationship anymore. my first love. amazing, right?", you could hear the sarcasm is his tone, "i thought my first relationship was going to be something special and romantic that'd stay with me forever."

"first times being special is a concept created by society to pressure us into waiting for 'the right one'. thinking that the first time is what will decide what the rest of your life will look like. my whole love life is filled with non special first times. my first kiss? during a spin the bottle. my first time? i was drunk out of my mind and just sleep with some guy at a party. first love? it was all a game for him to begin with. but relationships are overrated anyway. they just lead to heartbreaks."

"how can you say that? love is such a beautiful thing."

"love is a beautiful thing. relationships...", your hands playing with his fingers mindlessly as you found yourself lost in your own world for a moment, "when you find the love you deserve, even if it wasn't the one you were looking for, hold onto it. look for love, not relationships."

"i hope we'll find the love we both want and deserve, bunny.", jaemin said, squeezing your hand as you smiled up at him.

"you think chaeryeong and shotaro will finally get with each other tonight?", ryujin asked jimin and you as you waited for her to finish getting ready to go out.

"they've been going out on so many dates but haven't even held hands yet.", jimin said.

"oh really? it's kinda cute though.", you said.

"you're such a softie, y/n.", ryujin teased.

"how is it going with sungchan?", jimin teased further.

"what do you mean?", you knew exactly what she meant but chose to act oblivious.

"you two would look so good together.", ryujin commented.

"for real, i wanna puke every time i see the two of you giggling with each other.", jimin said.

"i don't think he likes me like that.", you replied, trying to shut down their fantasies.

"what about you?", jimin suddenly asked.

"i...", you hesitated and even though it was for a few seconds your friends jumped on the occasion to tease you again.

"ooooh, you're totally into him!", ryujin almost screamed and your cheeks started to burn.

"she's blushing!", jimin pointed out.

"oh my god! you guys are insufferable.", you whined hiding yourself behind one of ryujin's pillows.

your phone vibrated as it received a message.

i'm here :D

"sungchan's here.", you announced to your two friends.

"of course, he texted you.", jimin teased.

"it's just a text.", you rolled your eyes.

"he could have texted the groupchat.", jimin retorted.

"...shut up.", you said, running out of argument.

the three of you grabbed everything you needed before heading out. you met up with sungchan who was waiting for you in his car in front of the building. his eyes looked up from his phone and he smiled as he saw the three of you walking towards him. he unlocked the doors for you and you got into the passenger seat as ryujin and jimin got in the back.

"hey.", you greeted.

"hey.", he greeted back with a smile, "are you my gps today?"

"i guess.", you chuckled, "i'm bad at giving direction though. i just like sitting in the front."

sungchan chuckled at your answer, "you can't be worse than shotaro, he just gives up half way and starts giving me direction in japanese. i don't speak japanese."

you put your hand in front of your mouth, hiding your laughter. sungchan started driving, following your precise indications. you arrived at the party in no time. sungchan and you high fived each other for your teamwork when you got out of the car, heading towards the frat house.

ryujin and jimin almost ran to the kitchen to get some drinks as sungchan and you followed behind them, only getting yourselves some water or juice because you didn't drink and he was on driving duty.

jaemin really needed something to get himself out of his thoughts. he's had a lot of things going through his head lately and most of those things were you. for the past few months of being your roommate, jaemin's perception of you had changed quite a bit. at first, he thought you were totally his type. if you two weren't roommates, he would've made a move on you the minute he saw you but after some talking with his friends and having renjun reminding him of the fact that he would probably have to find another roommate and chenle reminding him how hard it was, he quickly gave up on the idea. then, he thought that you were cute and that you two could be good roommates, going grocery shopping and cooking together, keeping your relationship pretty simple, but after spending more time with you, talking with you, seeing you interacting with his friends, picked at his interest in you. that interest made you linger in his thought at random moments and made his heart beat faster every time you got near him.

your roommate's eyes landed on you and sungchan when he was looking for his friends. he didn't know you were going to be there and seeing you laughing with another guy and being touchy in a playful way made him feel something he didn't enjoy.

you, on the other hand, didn't notice jaemin staring at the two of you at all. you were concentrating on your conversation with sungchan and didn't really pay attention to your surroundings. you two were talking casually when sungchan suddenly stopped mid sentence as something caught his eyes in the distance and he started hitting your arm in excitement.

"ow, what happened? what did you see?", you asked, turning towards the direction he was looking into.

"shotaro and chaeryeong are so making out near that plant.", sungchan whispered into your ear then nodded towards the place he just mentioned.

you jumped up and down in excitement, hitting his arm like he did yours as you finally saw them, "is that really chaeryeong?"

"of course, who else?", he frowned funnily at you.

"i hope so, or imma beat his ass."

"i'll join in."

"come on. let's find ryujin and jimin to tell them.", you grabbed onto his wrist, dragging him into the search for your two friends. sungchan smoothly slid his hand into yours. it surprised you but you didn't mind it though, it felt nice.

"yah! ryujin-ah! jimin-ah!", you shouted once you spotted them. they were getting refills in the kitchen.

"ooooh y/n! i missed you!", ryujin said, throwing her arms around you in a hug, obviously drunk. you let go of sungchan's hand to hold onto your friend and not fall backwards.

"you're cuter when you're drunk you know that?", you said to her playfully.

"what did you-", jimin started before being interrupted by someone's scream.

"Y/N!!!", a voice you recognized immediately shouted, gaining your attention.

"jeno?", you looked at a highly under the influence jeno, standing in front of you.

"come with me quick.", his tone sounded like he was in a hurry.

"why? what's happening?", you asked, a little worried.

"jaemin's drunk, he needs to go home but i drank too much to drive him and some girls are trying to throw themselves at him."

your eyes were wide in shock. you remembered jaemin telling you about never getting too drunk at parties. you wondered what happened. you turned towards sungchan for a second and said, "tell them the news.", and then waved goodbye to your friends, "i'll see you later."

you followed jeno through the crowd, pushing through people to finally get to your roommate who was sitting on a couch, surrounded by a girl on each side. he had his head down and arms crossed around himself as if he didn't want anyone to touch him.

"get him home safely. you can deal with the girls, right? they kinda scare me.", jeno told you before fleeing the scene.

the girls seemed to notice your presence and turned towards you, glaring at you as if you'd ruined the chance of their life, "who are you?", one of them spat out.

you rolled your eyes and ignored her, "jaemin, let's go.", you said out loud with a gentle tone.

jaemin raised his head immediately when he heard your voice, "y/nnn!", he exclaimed, standing up with his arms open towards you.

you saw him lose balance and hurried to his side, grabbing one of his arms and putting it around you while wrapping your other arm around his waist.

you two got out of the frat house and walked to where jaemin told you he remembered parking his car, "do you have your keys with you?", you asked as you two finally managed to spot his car which was at the opposite of where jaemin told you it was. your roommate clumsily looked in his pocket and struggled to pull out his set of keys.

you helped him into the passenger seat, putting his seat belt on for him.

"you can sleep if you want.", you told jaemin as you started driving away.

the car fell into a comfortable silence as you concentrated on the road ahead of you and jaemin was concentrating on you. he watched your side profile in silence, from your eyes, reflecting the lights of the streets, to your pretty nose that made him want to boop it, to your full cheeks, he had to refrain himself from squishing them, then finally to your lips, he was dying to know how they would feel on his.

"you're staring.", you pointed out, breaking the peaceful silence.

"you're pretty.", jaemin complimented.

you gulped, feeling your hands sweating a little as you tried hard to not look in his direction. you never knew how to react when he complimented you.

jaemin clung onto you from the moment you helped him out of his car to the moment you put him in bed, "can't you stay?", jaemin pouted, batting his eyelashes at you as his arms were still around your neck.

"no, jaemin, you need to sleep.", you said.

jaemin let go of you and pouted even more, "alright. i'm all about consent.", he said, cuddling into his covers.

you smiled at his behavior, "goodnight, jaemin.", you said, before leaving.

the holidays period had arrived and you didn't go home this time, deciding on saving the money you would've used for the trip. instead, for christmas, you met with your friends at ryujin and jimin's place for a secret santa. there was you, ryujin, jimin, chaeryeong, sungchan and shotaro. you got sungchan and chaeryeong got you. chaeryeong gave you a cute bob she customized herself with a design she made that reminded her of you, it was so pretty. you got sungchan a pair of scissors for left handed people as an inside joke you two had and his real present was a limited edition merch of a game he couldn't stop talking about. it was cute when his eyes started sparkling.

after that you stayed a few more days at your friends' apartment, squatting their couch.

"are you doing something for the new year?", was the first thing your roommate told you as you picked up his call.

"nothing really. why?"

"i'm doing something at the apartment with some of the guys. wanna join?"

"yeah why- wait. you're home right now?"

"yeah."

"what? why didn't you text me?"

"because i thought you were with your family?"

"i'm squatting ryujin and jimin's place since like christmas."

after your call with jaemin, you hurriedly packed your stuff that lingered around your friends' apartment and quickly left, shouting them a goodbye and freeing their couch from your presence.

once you got home, you were welcomed by jaemin's smile and outstretched arms. you accepted the hug, welcoming your roommate home, "why weren't you home?"

"one night, i heard something falling in the kitchen and you were already gone for like two days so i got scared and packed my bags as soon as the sun got up."

jaemin chuckled at your story, patting your head in comfort.

"so, who's gonna be there for the new year?", you asked.

"apart from you and me. renjun, jeno, chenle, and jisung. donghyuck have something already. and mark is spending it with his girlfriend. hyuck got sulky when he realized he was one of the only two absent."

"can i invite my friends too?"

"sure, just let me know how many will be there."

you quickly texted your friends' groupchat asking about everyone's plan for the new year. chaeryeong and shotaro were going to be with their respective family but ryujin, jimin and sungchan were in. you told jaemin that three of your friends were coming over and from there you two talked about the preparations. you made a list for the food, a list for the decorations, even a list of what to hide so they wouldn't be broken.

the two of you went shopping together buying all the things you needed for the party while having lots of fun. you kept playing around with things you found funny in different aisle as jaemin watched and laughed as if you were the funniest comedian on earth. he was down bad.

"should we set a dress code for the party or not?", you asked, turning to your roommate in the middle of the confettis section of the store.

"well, if that means i can see you in that black dress again...", he jokingly said in a flirty way as he looked at you in the eyes. jaemin had that intense gaze in his eyes sometimes that made your body shiver.

you rolled your eyes, keeping your composure, "i was thinking about a pajamas competition or something like that."

"you'd look good either way.", jaemin shrugged as he kept pushing the cart nonchalantly. thankfully, he didn't notice your cheeks turning pink.

the hardest part of this new year party was actually setting everything up the day of it. jaemin didn't stop messing with you, from poking your side when your were busy putting decorations up, to back hugging you when you were cutting vegetables and not helping with the cooking at all. the food you prepared was pretty simple, fried chicken, pasta, stir fried noodles with vegetables and meat and fried rice.

"i should've accepted donghyuck's roommate proposition of helping us with cooking.", jaemin said, his chin on your shoulder as he watched you chop vegetables.

"you turned down a chef-in-training's help?", you asked, kind of dumbfounded. you could've ate the best version of every dish you were making.

"i wanted to cook just with you.", jaemin pouted.

"oh, 'cause you are so cooking right now.", you said, looking down at his arms linked around your waist.

"i can help you cut vegetables."

"how ar-", you interrupted yourself when jaemin placed his hands on yours and started moving them as if he was playing with a doll, "well, i'm going to rest then.", you leaned back on your roommate, your head resting on his shoulder. you learned to go along with his flirting, if it was something you couldn't escape than you decided to embrace it. jaemin smirked, feeling your body pressed against his as he glanced as your face.

the doorbell ringing surprised the two of you as it was still pretty early. jaemin went to check who it was while you continued cooking.

"wooah. you decorated the place?", you recognized the voice of your second mom immediately.

"no, it looks like that all year long.", you sarcastically answered.

the guest walked into the living room and saw you cooking in the open kitchen.

"what are you guys doing here so early?", you asked, seeing the three familiar faces of your friends.

"we thought since you invited us, we'd at least help you with something.", jimin said, settling her bag on your couch.

"you came at the right time. we need hands in the kitchen. this guy only took out the ingredients so far.", you pointed your knife accusingly at jaemin.

"let's get this started for real.", sungchan said.

the five of you started cooking together, it was a little hard since the kitchen was small for the number of people in it. ryujin and jimin were on pasta duty, sungchan and you were on stir fried noodles duty and jaemin was on fried rice duty. the first people to finish their dish would prepare the friend chicken. since yours and sungchan's dish was longer to prepare, the other three moved to the living room table for the fried chicken.

seeing you and sungchan cooking together and joking around with each other in the kitchen kind of irritated jaemin, making him make some mistakes with coating the chicken. jimin and ryujin noticed, giving each other a knowing look. as sungchan and you finished stir frying the noodles, putting it in a dish, the doorbell rang. the fried chicken team having finished as well, jaemin went back to the kitchen with the uncooked fried chicken while ryujin cleaned the table and jimin went to open the door to whoever just arrived.

"woah, that was quick.", you said, noticing your roommate. he kind of ignored you, and just put the plate on the counter next to the electric stove before walking back to the living room and retrieved the other dirty plates. you frowned a little at his behavior. he would usually retort something funny or brag about his skills.

"do you think we put enough seasoning?", sungchan's voice brought your attention back to him.

"mmmh, i think it's alright. i'm the best for seasoning things with my gut feeling.", you said, with a thumb up.

"oh really?", he exclaimed in a playful tone, "we'll see then, if it's bad you owe me coffee."

"deal.", you two shook hands to seal the deal, "i'm going to change, my clothes smell like stir fried everything."

you quickly got back to your room to change into your new year look. jaemin and you settled on no dress code because jaemin said, "i'm sure jeno will forget and not dress accordingly, chenle will be over the top and jisung is too broke. renjun is the only that's gonna on theme."

you slipped into that one black dress jaemin couldn't stop mentioning, added more to your normal makeup to make it more festive and applied some perfume. you checked yourself one last time in your mirror before heading back out to the living room.

by the time you finished getting ready, everyone had arrived and were talking around the table. all the dishes were laid out on the table, only the fried chicken was missing. you waved hello at all your guests before heading towards the kitchen.

jaemin was there with an apron on, frying the last pieces of chicken. he sensed your presence as you stood next to him but didn't acknowledge it whatsoever. his expression was more serious than usual, "what's wrong?", you asked, breaking the heavy silence.

"nothing, i'm just concentrating on the food.", jaemin answered.

you knew he didn't tell you everything but you resorted to just resting your chin on his shoulder, not wanting to leave him alone while he cooked for everyone. jaemin didn't show it but his heart was beating like crazy and a smile started re appearing on his face.

"you smell good.", jaemin complimented.

"you smell like fried chicken.", you replied, jokingly.

jaemin gave you a side look before flicking your forehead. you whined, your hand rubbing the place where he flicked you, "you can bring this plate out first, this is almost done."

you obeyed, taking the plate of fried chicken while sticking your tongue out at him like a five year old. you came back to the living room where everyone was playing a game where they had to guess the name they had on their forehead. you put the plate down on the table and sat on the ground next to sungchan, who gave you the pillow he had to put on your lap since you were wearing a dress.

"it's time to eat. come on, last round everyone, first to guess, first to win.", jimin said out lout.

you laughed as each of them failed to guess who was on their paper, even sungchan, "how could you not get the lady on the starbucks cup?", you asked, removing the paper scotched on his forehead for him.

"you mean how could i have guessed that. there's no way anyone would've guessed it.", sungchan replied.

"i would've.", you retorted.

"you wouldn't have."

"totally would."

"you're in denial."

"i-"

your banter was interrupted by jaemin almost throwing the second plate of fried chicken down on the table, "let's eat before it gets cold.", he said, sitting down on the other side on you. you all started enjoying the meal you've prepared with care, you've never had that many variety of dish at the same time before.

"shit, the stir fried noodles are good.", sungchan muttered next to you.

"told you i could measure my spices.", you said, hitting his arm slightly with yours.

"then i will bring you your coffee personally the first day back at uni, spice master.", sungchan jokingly said, bowing a little while swirling his hand.

"i'll look forward to it, dear.", you replied with the same tone, waving your hand as well. jaemin cleared his throat next to you, earning your attention but when you turned towards him he was just enjoying his food normally.

after you all finished eating, the ones who didn't help cooking took care of the dishes while the rest of you enjoyed the drinks jeno and renjun brought. you were playing a game of 'put a finger down if', and the loser would have to one shot a bowl of makgeolli.

"i have slept with more than ten people.", jimin said, obviously having a target in mind.

"that was too unfair.", jaemin said, shaking his head while folding one of his fingers.

you shocked everyone by folding one of yours as well.

"what? y/n?!", ryujin practically screamed in shock.

"yah! you hid that from us?", jimin joined in.

"what? what? what? what is happening?", chenle shouted from behind the kitchen counter.

"y/n is a player!", sungchan answered chenle, making you turn towards him and push him playfully.

"really?!", jeno screamed.

"are you serious?", ryujin asked, her eyes having not return to their normal size yet.

"yah! why do you seem so shocked?!"

"they grow up so fast.", jimin jokingly sniffed and patted her under eyes to get rid of her imaginary tears.

"i didn't know you had game.", sungchan said next to you, making you push him again, harder this time as he fell on his side while laughing.

"you sure have some secrets, bunny.", jaemin whispered to you in the midst of the chaos. you rolled your eyes and pushed him as well.

the game ended with your loss when the others returned from the kitchen.

"want me to get you something else to one shot?", jaemin asked you as they all knew that you didn't really drink alcohol.

"it's alright. it's been a while anyway, i'm gonna be fine.", you replied.

you brought the bowl to your lips and started drinking slowly as your friends cheered for you. with a last gulp, you finished the alcoholic beverage. it had been so long that you had almost forgot how it tasted like.

"sorry guys, unexpected return of roommate. i have to go.", renjun said, as he stood up.

"you can drive?", jeno asked.

"yeah, i haven't started drinking yet.", renjun replied.

"alright, see you then.", you all waved goodbye to renjun as he hurriedly left.

you were a few hours away from the new year and your tiredness started to hit you hard. you were fighting to keep your eyes open and the makgeolli you drank didn't really help. your alcohol tolerance really dropped. you weren't drunk or anything, it was just enough to make you feel how tired you were even more. you were the kind of person to sleep early and wake up early so you were really fighting yourself.

"don't fall asleep, you'll miss the new year.", sungchan nudged you slightly as your head was resting on his shoulder.

"i'll just rest my eyes for a second.", you replied, your voice so small that he almost missed it. sungchan patted your hand in comfort and just ended up leaving it there while he talked with chenle and ryujin.

everyone was engrossed in their own conversation to notice you, except jaemin who seemed to be even more fired up than before.

"if you get any tenser you'll just transform into a rock.", jeno told his friend.

"i'm fine.", jaemin replied a little dismissively.

"dude, you've had heart eyes for her for a while now. you're also her roommate, you see her more and you've been acting like a couple every time i was over, which made me want to hang myself sometimes, not gonna lie so why you backing down now?"

"you're one to talk.", jaemin started, alluding to jeno's personal life, "and i'm not backing down, i just-", he stopped as he glanced at your sleepy figure so close to sungchan. he can't help himself but wonder if the signs he picked up on from you were just in his head.

a loud explosion coming from outside startled you and stopped every on going conversation. you sat straight up and looked outside like everyone.

"oooh, the fireworks are starting.", jimin said.

you all rushed to the windows to observe it most of your friends went to the bigger windows as you opted for the smaller one. you felt the fresh air hitting your face as you opened it.

"it's pretty.", you said, watching the fireworks explode in multiple colors.

"it is.", sungchan replied as his eyes lingered on you for a moment before turning his attention towards the fireworks, "are you feeling better?"

"mmmmh yeah. the fireworks and bright lighting helped.", you joked, making him laugh a little.

there was even more noise when people started screaming and counting.

"5...4...3...2...1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!", lots of people shouted along with you and your friends. people on the streets were celebrating as well as your neighbors and people from other apartment buildings around you and even people driving were honking like crazy.

you turned towards sungchan to see that he was already looking at you, "what?", you asked as he seemed to have something on his mind.

sungchan smiled at you before moving his hand close to your face and pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. his hand didn't move afterwards, his eyes looking for any sign of discomfort on your face. he then brought his face down to yours, still looking at you. you knew what he wanted to do and you didn't back out nor stopped him. you didn't want to. your gaze dropped down to his lips and leaned slightly forwards as if to tell him that it was okay. sungchan closed the gap between the two of you, his lips softly touched yours as he became your first kiss of the year.

no one really noticed the two of you as they were all too busy screaming and celebrating. all, except one person who spilled his drink on himself when he screamed 'happy new year' too excitedly.

jaemin.

thankfully, your first day in uni of the year wasn't right after the new year celebration because you were exhausted from all the cooking, the cleaning and the celebration. your friends all left quite early in the morning, not sleeping at all and deciding to call an uber for safety since they shouldn't drive in their state. you told jimin to give you her car keys, so you could drive her car to uni to avoid her the inconvenience of coming back here.

jaemin and you spent the next day, or rather afternoon, because you two slept until noon, cleaning the apartment. you didn't interact much since you still had the kiss with sungchan on your mind but even with that aside, you felt like jaemin was avoiding you. little did you know, your roommate also had yours and sungchan's kiss on his mind. after seeing the two of you, his mood switched instantly. he didn't know why his little crush on you affected him that much. or is it because it wasn't only a small crush?

you let it slide the first day, blaming it on the exhaustion caused by the new year but when the next days, jaemin was still acting the same, you started to worry. you tried asking him simple things to start at least a small conversation with him but he dodged every question and even straight up ignored you sometimes. the lack of attention from him did feel weird.

"okay, i can't do this anymore. what's wrong with you?", you finally snapped when you two passed each other in the hallway as you were heading back to your room and he was heading to the bathroom.

"what's wrong with ME? what's wrong with YOU?!", jaemin snapped back, turning around to face you.

"me?", you repeated, confused.

"one minute, you're warm, the other one, you're cold. one minute, you treat me like a friend, the other one, you act like i'm the worse fuckboy to ever exist. one minute...we're hugging and being domestic as fuck, and the other...you're...kissing another guy. this is driving me crazy, y/n. you're driving crazy. i don't know if you like me or not, or just what you think of me."

"i-", you were speechless. your mind was blank, still trying to register the informations.

"i'll leave you with your thoughts.", jaemin said, before turning around again, walking into the bathroom.

you were indeed drowning in your thoughts for the rest of the night, having trouble sleeping even. you couldn't wrap your head around what was actually happening. were you really stuck between two completely different guys? even when you managed to finally shut your brain off, your subconscious took over and you dreamed of the both of them.

when you woke up the next morning, you cursed the timing for having to go back to uni right after what happened. jaemin already left which made you kind of relieved, you wouldn't have known how to act around him. you drove jimin's car to uni, giving your friend her keys back at lunch.

you were really out of it the whole day. at first, ryujin thought that it was just because you haven't had any caffeine yet but when sungchan showed up with the cup of coffee he owed you from the bet, you didn't seem to get any better. you were thankful to sungchan who was extra sweet with you, seeing that you weren't feeling well.

"hey, are you free after class this afternoon?", sungchan asked you as you were sitting at lunch with everyone else.

"i'm doing something with the girls later.", you said, quickly followed by, "don't worry, we'll talk another day."

"alright.", sungchan sent you a relaxed smile as he patted your head.

you knew he wanted to talk about the kiss and the status of your relationship now that that happened but you weren't even sure what to tell him if you two talked right now.

you needed an emergency girls' night and it came in a form of snacks packaging all over your friends' living room's floor while ryujin and jimin were listening to you talk.

"he said what because he saw what?", jimin asked after you told them everything from your kiss with sungchan to jaemin snapping at you.

"so i didn't imagined that kiss.", ryujin said, tapping her chin with her index.

"you saw it and you didn't tell me?!", jimin exclaimed, offended.

"i barely saw it and i was drunk! i thought shipping them so hard got to my brain and i was hallucinating.", ryujin retorted, making you laugh.

"tsk.", jimin shook her head at her roommate disapprovingly before turning towards you, "so what happened next?"

"well, nothing. i have to talk to sungchan about the kiss and jaemin...well...i don't know..."

"this is like a drama. who do you like best?", ryujin asked.

"i-i don't know...sungchan?"

"that sounded more like a question than an affirmation.", jimin noted.

you sighed. your thoughts were in shambles, "sungchan is literally perfect. he's a kind, sweet, the sweetest ever, he never get grumpy somehow, and he's the kind of person that brightens your day the moment you see them. he really is the perfect friend. he's considerate, funny, i feel comfortable around him. it should be him, right?"

"what about jaemin?", ryujin asked.

"he's a fuckboy."

"what else?", jimin pushed.

"what do you mean?"

"he's not just a fuckboy and you know that. describe him like you did sungchan.", jimin clarified.

"jaemin is...my roommate. he can be insufferable, calling me bunch of nicknames like bunny and princess, and acting overall like the fuckiest fuckboy. he is extremely clingy and he drinks that awful iced americano with four extra shots of expresso that makes me wonder how he's still alive. but there's also that sweet side to him and little things he does that he thinks others won't notice. like how he can be super caring. did i tell you how when after he found me asleep on our doorstep that morning after a party, he made sure to be home every night just in case it happened again. i had to tell him that i was going to okay and that it won't happen again when he came back home still smelling like after sex sweat, alcohol and sephora. ke kinda grew on me, somehow. he's pretty funny and watching shows with him made me realize that he was kind of a romantic...but i can't get over the fuckboy status. i've been with too many fuckboys to fall for that again."

"you never know. maybe he's different.", jimin said.

"that's what i told myself every time and i'm sick of history repeating itself."

"do you lean towards one in particular?", ryujin asked.

"i know i should choose sungchan. he's good for me. he's like a sunny day after a storm...but jaemin feels like staying home with a blanket around me when it's raining outside."

"how did you feel when sungchan and you kiss?"

"good, i mean he's not a bad kisser. it felt comfortable and nice."

"you know you sound like you've already made a choice, right?", jimin asked you, "you described sungchan as a 'perfect friend' and then proceeded to rant about jaemin with the only thing holding you back, is that he's a fuckboy."

"my sungy/n heart is broken but i have to admit that you don't seem to have that much romantic feelings towards sungchan or at least, you feel more things for jaemin. you realize that you kept using the word 'should' for sungchan, right? it's like your head vs your heart.", ryujin added.

you sighed. from the bottom of your heart, you wished you could tell them they were wrong but you knew, deep down, that you didn't feel anything for sungchan, or like ryujin put it, you felt more for jaemin. everything would have been much easier if you were mentally stable enough to choose someone like sungchan. your situation with jaemin was just too complicated. you always thought that his gestures towards were only platonic and maybe they were at first but it seemed to have took a turn you didn't expect.

you went home pretty late that night, after talking with your friends for hours. you saw the messages jaemin sent you a few hours earlier. you had forgot to tell him that you were going to ryujin and jimin's place since you two were awkward now.

you entered your apartment, removing your shoes and sliding into your home slippers, walking into the living room. you noticed a mass of the couch, approaching it you saw jaemin lying there with his arms crossed and eyes closed.

he was waiting for you.

even though you two were not on speaking term and he seemed fed up the last time you spoke to him, he still waited. he was still worried. and there goes that little knife that dug itself deeper into your heart.

you went to jaemin's room to retrieve his blanket, thinking he must have been freezing waiting for you and falling asleep on the couch without something warm around him. you left him a note on the table next to the couch saying that you were home and that you were okay before going into your room.

the next day, your only class of the afternoon got canceled so sungchan and you decided to grab a coffee at the nearest coffee shop to talk about the two of you.

"so...", you started as the two of you sat down at a table in the cozy coffee shop with your drinks.

"so...", sungchan repeated.

there was a little awkward silence be fore you decided to speak again, "okay so i'm going to go straight to the point. i don't think-"

"-you have romantic feelings for me?", he interrupted with what you were going to say which startled you a little. he didn't seem sad or angry, he was just like his usual self.

"how did you-? did the girls tell you?"

sungchan laughed at your confusion, "no but it was something i kind of expected. i was hesitant at first for the new year's kiss but with a few shots and the loud fireworks, my brain said why not. i don't regret it.", he shrugged.

"i'm sorry.", you apologized.

"there's nothing to apologize for.", he nudged you, "it's not like i was in love with you or anything. it's alright. i like the idea of us maybe dating but i love being friends with you so actually, it's a win-win."

"you really are the best.", you smiled at him.

"then why aren't you dating me?!", he said but you knew that he was fully joking as he started laughing afterwards.

you got home that day, right after grabbing an early dinner with sungchan and the girls after their classes finished. when you entered the living room, jaemin was eating his dinner while watching tv on the couch, his wet hair adorning a jet black color.

he dyed his hair and holy mother of sanity did he look good.

you gulped down your thoughts and headed towards your room. you took a well deserved hot shower to clear your mind.

the following week was so awkward between the two of you. you woke up earlier every morning to leave the apartment before him and when you saw each other at home, you just walked past one another. you had to deal with your thoughts and feelings and jaemin left you the space you needed to do so even though it was killing him to not talk with you. you also felt bad every time you saw him watch a show on the couch alone, all you wanted to do was plop down next to him and enjoy some popcorn while commenting on whatever you were watching.

"jaemin?", you called, walking into the living room and spotting jaemin's now black hair on the couch.

"mmmh?", he hummed, acknowledging your call.

"can we talk?"

"sure.", he paused his show and sat back straight on the couch, moving from the middle to one end of it so you could sit as well.

"okay, so, let me get this out of the way first.", you said, sitting down on the couch and facing jaemin.

"sungchan and i are just friends. we talked about it and decided to remain friends since i didn't have any romantic feelings for him.", you said, slowing your usual speed of speech and being as clear and simple as you could be so your roommate wouldn't misunderstand, "now, what did you mean by telling me what you told me the other day?"

jaemin's eyes had seemed to have gain a few sparkles since you cleared things about sungchan. he remained silent for a moment, his brain fusing to get the adequate words out, "i like you, a lot."

you realized that you didn't plan anything passed this. you didn't know what to say.

"i- give me a second, alright?", you said, turning sideways and inhaling all the air you could before exhaling it all along your all your messy thoughts, wiping your brain clean, "okay, so...i can't say that i feel completely indifferent towards you...but...", jaemin's head perked up at your words, "you're a fuckboy."

"i-"

"-can change? stop? treat me good? i've heard it all. and they never changed.", you saw jaemin opening his mouth again probably to defend himself, but you quickly continued, knowing what he was going to say, "i know it doesn't mean that you won't, so...i was thinking...if you're up for it...to have like a sort of trial?"

"like netflix?"

"kinda? let's not date, or flirt, or fuck anyone for like a month or two and see if we still have feelings and by we, i mean, mainly you.", you threw in a little joke at the end to lighten the mood.

"one month or two, even a whole year if i have to."

"well, we'll see if your feelings make it. i'm quite hard to love."

"i'll give it my best.", he said with a little smile, blinking his doe eyes at you.

"don't over do it.", you smiled before pushing his face backwards.

jaemin put his arms around you and brought you in a much wanted hug. he's been dying to do that since the start of your conversation, "is that okay?"

"i'll tell you if something is not okay.", you said, relaxing in his arms. you missed that feeling.

"can i come in?", jaemin asked after knocking on your door.

"sure.", you shouted while finishing your makeup.

"are you ready to go?", he asked, stepping in. you two were going to a frat party, even though you weren't really in the mood, you still wanted to spend some time with your friends.

"yeah, just let me grab my jacket and...", you turned around to be faced with jaemin's body. you waited for him to move but he didn't, you looked up at him and said, "i thought we were leaving."

"i just want to look at you a little longer.", he said, putting his hands on your side, right on the cutouts of your white dress.

"you can do that at the party.", you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"but i'd rather do it here.", jaemin brought one of his hands up to your face, his index under your chin, lifting it up to face his own.

your eyes were fixated on his lips as you gulped. you pulled yourself out of the thoughts of how they would feel against your own and looked up at his eyes to see him still looking down, "don't ruin my lipstick.", you whispered since you two were pretty close.

"hearing you say it, makes me want to do it even more."

"oh yeah?", you slowly got on your tiptoes, getting your lips even closer to his. if you moved, you would have been able to transfer some of your lipstick on his lips. jaemin's breath got caught in his throat and he didn't dare to move a millimeter. his whole body froze. you smirked at his reaction and stepped back, walking around him to grab the jacket on your chair, "let's go."

jaemin let out a shaky sigh before following after you.

during the party, jaemin and you got separated at some point as he went to find his friends and you yours. since you didn't really felt like partying too much, so you just had some fun with your friends, dancing and laughing.

"how is it going with jaemin?", jimin asked you as you sat on a couch between her and sungchan. there was also ryujin, chaeryeong, and shotaro.

"there's something going on between you and jaemin?", shotaro asked.

"yes and no...i'm waiting to see if he's serious about this or not."

"mmmh so that's why he's been sending me death stares from that corner over there since we sat on this couch.", sungchan said, almost sounding as if he was joking but when you quickly glanced at the corner he mentioned you noticed jaemin staring in your direction among a group of guys who were just discussing with one another which made you start laughing a little.

from jaemin's point of view, you were laughing at something sungchan had said which made him kind of jealous if he was totally honest. he trusted you and knew that if you told him that there was nothing going on between sungchan and you then there was nothing but he couldn't help but feel a little stab in his heart.

after some more talking with your friends, you decided it was time for you to head home. you hugged your friends goodbye before heading outside. you swiped on your phone, ready to order a taxi to go home when someone called you, "y/n! bunny!"

you turned around instantly, recognizing the nickname, "almost didn't know it was you when you called me by my name.", you teased with a smile.

jaemin smiled back at you before asking, "are you leaving right now?"

"yeah, don't worry about me, i'll see you at home.", you said, waving him back inside.

"it's alright, we can go home together."

"i'm alright, jaemin. really."

"but i want to go home with you.", he pouted.

how could you say no to that face.

"did you drink?", you asked him.

"one cup.", he said, holding his index up.

"give me your keys.", you replied, stretching your hand out.

jaemin easily complied, sliding his keys into your hand. your ride home was quite fun, jaemin showed you mark's soundcloud and to be completely honest, his songs were pretty good. jaemin and you bopped your head to mark's voice while laughing at whatever weird moves your roommate was doing.

"first for the bathroom.", you said as soon as you heard jaemin close your apartment door.

"wait.", jaemin grabbed your wrist, spinning around to face him. he was extremely close, "can i ruin your lipstick now?"

you didn't say anything at first, your mind still trying to process his words. your eyes trailed down from his eyes to his lips and gosh did they look inviting. you slowly leaned in and pressed your lips gently on his. that was all jaemin needed to kiss you back. you stood in the middle of your living room, fully making out, your hands were in his hair while he had one one your waist while the other one cupped your cheek. you felt your heart beating so fast that at this point, you thought it was gonna beat out of your chest.

jaemin was the first one to pull away, breathing heavily, "if we keep going, it's gonna be really hard for me to stop myself..."

your brain worked it magic and lots of things went through your mind after he said that and in a short amount of time, making you blush and hide your face in his shirt.

you headed back to your room to take some clothes before going into the bathroom. you looked at yourself in the mirror and your hand instinctively went to your lips, fingers tracing your lower lip as you saw how smudged your lipstick had gotten. the event flashed in your mind and you couldn't help the smile spreading on your face. jaemin was slowly bringing the wall you had built down and even though you were scared to let someone in again, being with jaemin felt great.

that night, jaemin came into your room and asked if you two could cuddle. you sleepily opened your covers for him, sliding to one side of your bed and the both of you fell asleep in each other's arms.

"hey, i actually don't feel like clubbing tonight, you guys go without me.", you said to jimin over the phone.

"alright! we'll send you lots of pictures!"

"alright! have fun!", you both hung up as you returned to your tv show.

that night you had planned to go to that club in itaewon that was famous for doing a monthly event for university student only but you didn't really feel like going out, you lowkey were just waiting for jaemin to get home so you could cuddle together while watching tv.

you heard the doorbell ring and were confused for a second. you got up to check the camera screen next to your door and saw a girl standing there. she seemed to be around your age and was holding something in her hands.

you pushed the mic button to speak to the person outside, "hello, who are you?"

"hello, i'm here to give jaemin his sweater back. he left it with me when we saw each other last week ."

you felt your heart drop in your stomach and a lump form in your throat. when you realized you've been silent for a long time, you managed to pull yourself together and open the door. you greeted the girl with a slight bow as she did the same.

"tell him i'm sorry i didn't gave it to him earlier, i just remembered a few hours ago."

you nodded, your brain had completely shut off.

"i'll...leave then.", she awkwardly said, before walking away.

you closed the door and let out a big sigh. you couldn't believe what just happened. you looked in the bag the girl had handed you and indeed it was one of jaemin's sweater, you had seen him wear it multiple time. you remembered telling him that you were going out tonight with the girls so did he call her over? while you were out? were they hooking up?

you felt like you've been cheated on even though technically you had no right to feel that way. he wasn't your boyfriend. this only meant that he wasn't serious about pursuing you to begin with. even though it was something you expected, it still hurt but right now you weren't really sad, you were more angry, fuming actually.

you dropped the bag in jaemin's room and went to yours, getting ready to forget about your stupid roommate.

"hello, jaemin? this is ryujin. can you come pick y/nup? she's gone completely out of character. she's so drunk, she is actually this close to offering a strip tease to whoever says yes. we're trying to hold her back but i can't stop her. come quick, please, i'll text you the address."

as soon as jaemin heard this, he hurried back out of his apartment. he had just gotten home after his shift when he received ryujin's call and he was very confused because ryujin said that you were drunk. jaemin had never seen you drunk and the only time he saw you drink was at your new year party. he wondered why you suddenly started drinking again, especially when you seemed so done with your younger self every time you spoke about it.

jaemin found you, jimin and ryujin on the street in front of the club. you were leaning on jimin's shoulder as ryujin checked your temperature with her hand on your forehead. jaemin could see the look of relief on their face when they saw him. your roommate gave them a ride home as your two friends were exhausted from running around the club to get you. during the whole car ride, you didn't spoke nor look into jaemin's direction. you just closed your eyes and lean the farthest you could from him. even when jaemin tried to help you out the car, you ignored him and didn't let him touch you. you had regain some clarity thanks to the little drive and could totally walk and stand on your own, even though you could go off path from time to time. jaemin stayed behind you to make sure you didn't fall.

once you've reached your apartment, jaemin asked you, "hey, is everything okay?"

it was a simple question but it somehow angered you in an inimaginable way, "is everything okay? is everything OKAY?!", you scoffed, "no, everything is not okay, no.", you looked at him with spite in your eyes, "your booty call dropped by earlier. she wanted to give you your sweater back. should've told her when you were going to be home."

"what are you talking about?", jaemin asked with furrowed eyebrows.

you didn't even hear the real confusion in his voice, only interpreting his question as a lie, a way to manipulate you, like many had done before.

"you know what i'm talking about. don't play dumb.", being drunk made you a lot harsher and filter free.

"i really don't. i can assure you i have not been hooking up with anyone. how can you think that? you're the only one i've want any contact with. you're the only one i can think about. you're all i think about. how do you want me to prove it to you? do you want me to shout it out loud in the streets or in the hallways of uni? because i would do it in a heartbeat. you're driving me insane but in a good way. in a way, that makes me want more."

"that's not what i want. i don't want you to burn for me. i don't want to be the bane of your existence.", you started, quoting the infamous show you two had been watching, "i don't want passion. i want someone to love me, even when i'm boring, even when i'm mad, even when i'm sad, even when i don't talk and stay in my corner or when i'm loud and talk to everybody at a party, even when i'm old. i'm sick of the honeymoon phase. in french, they call it 'noces de chêne', oak wedding, it represents 80 years of marriage. i want that kind of love. old, long, lasting."

after that long rant, you stumbled to your room and crashed onto your bed, passing out.

the next morning, you woke up with an astronomical headache. you forgot how hangover felt like and you sure didn't miss it. you turned over on your bed and spotted a glass of water and some medication for your headache on your bedside table. you quickly took them with a little groan, due to sitting up too quickly. you remembered the events of the previous night all too well, a little embarrassed by your behavior at the club. you'll text your friends later to apologize. after taking the pills, you got up, grabbed some clothes and took a well needed shower. you've never felt that dirty after waking up. you got back into bed right after making sure you blowdried your hair and tried to get some more sleep.

a few minutes later, someone knocked on your door. you didn't answer, knowing who it was. jaemin waited a little before opening the door to your room and entering, "i made you some hangover soup."

you still didn't answer.

jaemin approached your bed with the little table tray, "i know you're awake. i heard you taking a shower."

you sighed, peeking your head out from under the blanket. you saw jaemin standing next to your bed with the tray in his hands and you knew that he wouldn't leave before you ate that soup so you sat up, allowing him to put the tray table on your bed.

you started eating in silence, still not wanting to speak to him.

"are you still mad?", jaemin asked.

slurp.

"i take that as a yes. can i at least explain myself?"

slurp.

"then i will. please refrain from throwing soup in my face until i finish talking.", you eye sided him before continuing your slurping, "so, i saw the bag in my room. i guess you were talking about that yesterday. i did not sleep with her. she's the girl from high school i talked to you about. she just wanted to clear up some misunderstandings we had. she spilled her coffee on herself by accident and i gave her my sweater to cover it up. she sent me a message yesterday to give it back but also told me that she didn't know when she'll be able to. so i just gave her our address so she could drop it here whenever she could. i told her to leave it in front of the door if no one was home. i did not sleep with anyone since i told you i love you. well, technically, i didn't say it but the meaning was there, well...anyway..."

your eyes perked up at the word 'love', you knew it wasn't as if he told you he was in love with you but still, it was a strong feeling that you didn't know someone could feel towards you.

jaemin, as if he saw the perplexity in your eyes, said, "i love when we go grocery shopping together. i love when we cook together or watch shows together. i love when it's getting late and you knock on my door to make sure i've had dinner. i love how your eyes sparkle and almost turn into crescent moons when you hear or see something funny. i love when you hold my hand even if it's for a split second. and i especially love how i feel around you. i've been falling for you more and more each day and i've learn to love every little thing about you. i don't know who told you you were hard to love, but loving you is the easiest thing i have ever done."

your gaze softened at his speech. you dropped your spoon and grabbed his face, giving him a soft peck on the lips.

you had to admit that you were blinded by your emotions and trauma at first. having lived that same situation many times where your ex boyfriends would cheat on you and then deny it, even though you caught them in the act, on your on bed, like sure bob, that's your cousin and her weird way of greeting you. but you knew that you could trust jaemin, you two were friends before all this and you felt bad for not giving him the benefit of the doubt and snapping at him instead of remaining calm and communicating.

"i'm sorry...for yesterday and for assuming.", you apologized.

"it's alright. you can make it up to me later with lots of kisses and cuddles.", he said, kissing the top of your head, "can i be your boyfriend now?"

you smiled, "sure."

"yayyy, girlfriend!", he exclaimed. he was going to tackle you but remembered the tray and quickly got rid of it.

"eeeh, i wasn't done with that.", you said, hand reaching out for the food but jaemin was too quick.

"there's plenty more. i want to cuddle.", he said, opening his arms and almost jumping on top of you. you snuggled in his arms, breathing in his scent. you felt safe in his arms.

looking back, you definitely involved yourself more than necessary with na jaemin.

but that was probably the best thing you had ever done.

[goatcheesecak3]

Adam gets a good ending because I said so

Adam Faulkner-Stanheight x gn!reader

Includes: angst, fluff, not a whole lot of dialogue, more plot really. Not written for any gender in particular.

For context, this takes place just after the first saw. The nerve gas house is mentioned, but at this point John hasn't set up any traps in it yet (he's most likely off in Mexico dealing with Cecilia right now).

A/n fun fact: this is actually all 100000% true and Canon, Adam is still alive.

You were a plucky young urban explorer, and you'd caught wind of an abandoned house on the outskirts of the city. It had been boarded and chained up, most likely to keep out squatters and junkies, but also people like you. Well, whoever owned that building would have to try harder than that to keep you and your trusty pair of bolt cutters out. You loved to explore the dead parts of the city, dilapidat buildings and forgotten homes, to see what stories they had to tell, what history they were hiding.

Upon arrival to this house, you parked your van just out of sight around the corner and double checked your rucksack to ensure you all had your supplies. Phone, torch, bolt cutters, energy bar, gatorade and just in case, pepper spray. Satisfied that you had what you needed, you approached the house on foot looking for an entrance. You found a back door, boarded up, but the wood seemed to have succumbed to the elements, leaving it rotten and weak. One hard kick with your steel toe capped boots was all it took to give way. You turned on your torch and began your usual routine. You first headed upstairs, just to give the place a once over from top to bottom, identifying any safety risks before you could explore more in depth. Once you'd reached the ground floor again, you let out a dissapointed sigh. The entire house had been gutted, no furniture, no stories to tell, just empty. You figured you wouldn't be here long. The air was still - no - stale. You cursed yourself for not bringing some sort of mask, you were certainly breathing in years worth of mould, dust and cobwebs. It smelled damp and the stench of rotting wood made you feel as though you were going to retch. Regardless, you soldiered on, in desperate hopes of finding something, anything that would make this expedition worth while. And oh boy, did you find it. It hadn't occurred to you to look directly at the floors before, but something in your gut told you to look down, and to your excitement, you discovered that you were stood over a trapdoor. You wedged your bolt cutters between the floorboards and began to pry, until a satisfying crrreeeeaaaakkk sounded out, signaling that you'd gained access to whatever secrets lay beneath.

You stood, staring down at a short set of stairs, you couldn't see where they lead. It was dark down there, darker than the house, and not just in terms of light. Something about it seemed sinister, as though you were staring at the steps down to hell itself. Against all your better judgement, you began your descent. You made note to keep the trapdoor open, it was heavy to lift, and you were sure it would be even heavier to push back up if you needed to get out in a hurry. Smart move.

A seemingly endless corridor presented itself to you, so long that your torch light didn't reach the end, instead it illuminated specks of dust floating through the air. This wasn't a basement, it was a fucking secret tunnel. Something was terribly wrong, this was hidden for a reason. You knew whatever awaited you at the end of this corridor wasn't going to be pleasant, yet you persevered.

After what felt like an eternity, you reached a heavy, rusty iron door.

"What the fuck" you muttered to yourself, although it might as well have been a yell, the way it pierced through dead silent corridor.

Suddenly, you thought you heard something. The faintest sound of a whimper. You jumped, and let out what you thought was a confident "who's there", but in reality, you sounded small and afraid. You could hear the fear in your own voice, which only filled you with more dread.

You heard it again, this time slightly louder, and more alive. It was a terrible noise, no words, just the agonising cry of abject horror. There was no denying it, someone was behind that door, and they needed your help.

"I can't believe I'm doing this" you said to yourself as you took a deep breath. You didn't give yourself time to think, or psych yourself out, you just acted. Grabbing the heavy door and pulling it with all your might. Adrenaline coarsed through your veins as the door gradually opened.

The sight you were greeted with was like nothing you'd ever seen before. Your eyes followed your torch around the room, seeing a stomach churning mixture of normalcy and horror. The white tiles, urinals, shower heads and sinks were not unlike any locker room you'd ever seen, but they were coated in a thick layer of grime and filth. In the very center of the room you saw what you hoped wasn't a dried up puddle of blood, but the corpse next to it didn't fill you with confidence. Hang on a second- a CORPSE? All at once, the stench of decomposition, bodily fluids, and the terrible sight of it all hit you like a punch in the gut. You stumbled over a sink, gagging and shaking. You weren't sure if it was fear or disgust that finally made you vomit.

"Wh.. what are you gonna do to me" a timid voice wept from somewhere behind you. You spun round, flashing your torch into the darkest corner of the filthy room. There, sat chained up and shaking like a beaten dog, was a man. His face gaunt and pale, stained with blood and tears. His skinny arms hugging his knees to his body, as he stared up at you with big, wet eyes.

"Oh my god" was all you could say, as your eyes found their way to his ankle. It was shackled to a pipe, his foot was badly bruised and clearly broken.

The man began to let out small, pitiful sobs, as though he was too tired to cry properly.

"Wh.. what happened?" You asked. He didn't - couldn't answer.

"My name's y/n, I'm gonna help you okay?" You said, frantically reaching into your bag for your bolt cutters.

The man threw up his arms in defence and retreated further into his little corner as you approached him.

"Please don't hurt me!" He wailed.

"I'm not going to hurt you, but we've got to get you out of here fast, okay? You can trust me" you said, approaching with more caution now. You had no idea what your plan was, but you knew it would start with getting him unchained.

"Hold still, I'm gonna cut the chain okay?" You said softly. Everything in you wanted to panic and scream, but you knew you needed to keep your cool if you were going to help this guy.

He nodded timidly, and watched as you cut through the chain.

"Were they... has whoever did this fed you?" You asked, already knowing the answer.

He shook his head, "They left me here to die," he managed through sobs.

Remembering your gatorade, you pulled it out of your bag and handed to him.

"Here, the sugar in this will help you. What's your name?"

He hesitated for a moment, but decided that trusting you was really his only viable option.

"It's Adam.. h.. how did you find me?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out myself. Listen to me Adam, we can't afford to waste any time, okay? We go out that door and keep following the hallway. There's a way out of here, but we've got to go now. Can you walk?"

Adam shook his head and began to cry again.

You took a deep breath, realising the severity of the situation. There was no way he'd make it along the corridor, let alone up the stairs.

"I could go back out, and call for help, but you'd have to wait here"

Adam's eyes widened and suddenly he was clinging onto you, like a frightened child on their first day of school

"Don't leave me, please don't leave me" he blubbered, his words almost inaudible.

You suppressed the urge to cry. Seeing a grown man, so frightened, so alone that he was reduced to this... all you wanted to do was hug this poor stranger. In that moment, you knew you couldn't leave him there alone. He must have seen unspeakable horrors in that room, you couldn't leave him there wondering if you were ever coming back.

"Listen to me, Adam. I'm not gonna leave you, we can figure this out. Here," you handed him your rucksack, "put this on, and then get on my back. You'll be in charge of shining the torch, and I'm gonna carry you out of here, got it?"

He nodded, and very hastily obliged, taking huge breaths and trying to steady himself.

His hands were tight around your shoulders, his muffled cries close to your ears as you carried him. He was light, it was clear that he had been down there without food for too long, but it made carrying him easier.

You couldn't quite run, but you steadily jogged through the corridor, your pulse so strong you could practically taste it. You flew up the stairs, and to your relief, the trapdoor was still open, and the house still vacant. You wasted no time getting to the back door and out into the night.

Taking in his first breath of fresh air since who knows when, Adam began to sob uncontrollably, still clinging onto your back.

"Nearly there" you spluttered, beginning to run out of breath. Realising how close you were to your van, a surge of adrenaline spurred you on and by some miracle, you sprinted the last stretch to your van.

You buckled Adam in and headed straight for the hospital.

A few days later

You'd exchanged details with the police and the hospital staff once Adam was being taken care of. You'd given your witness statement and lead the police to the scene of the crime, and now, a few days later you could finally relax a bit. But not entirely, you couldn't stop thinking about Adam. No one even knew he was missing, he would have died if you hadn't accidentally stumbled upon the monster's lair. From what you knew, he had no one. That was when the phone rang, it was the hospital. Adam, having been seen to and fit enough to talk to people, had asked the hospital staff to contact you. They were asking if you'd come to visit later that day.

"Of course, I'll be there! How's he doing" you asked the nice lady on the other end of the phone.

"Much better now, he'll look forward to your visit".

You entered the hospital ward, armed with a bunch of flowers and a get well soon card. You weren't sure if Adam was the type to be into flowers, but you figured it was at least a nice gesture. Adam looked much better indeed, his face had more colour, his arms looked less feeble. He was attached to a drip, you assumed that was something to do with the malnourishment, his foot in a cast and he had a neat dressing on the would in his shoulder.

"Hey, big guy," you smiled, as you approached his bed, sitting down beside it.

"Y/n, you came!" He beamed. This was nothing like the Adam you'd met the other day.

"Of course I did! How are you feeling?"

He reached out and took your hand, a content smile stretching across his face.

"Great, thanks to you. I don't even know what to say, you saved my life"

You knew you'd saved his life, but something about hearing him say it to you out loud just tugged at your heartstrings. You felt your eyes well up, as you squeezed his hand.

"Hey, don't get all soft on me now" he teased, in a reversal of roles where he was now the one to comfort you. "All you did was carry a man from the pits of hell, it's not a big deal or anything" he joked.

You let out a small chuckle.

You really liked Adam's sense of humour, and you couldn't begin to describe how wonderful of a feeling it was to see him laughing and joking. To see him safe and comfortable after that terrible ordeal.

Your visits with Adam became a regular thing, and quickly the two of you became close. You supported him through every step of his recovery, and once he was discharged, you kept in touch. Often meeting for coffee, going on walks. You learned about Adam's love of photography, and watched fondly as he took candids of people on the busy streets, or every now and then snapped one of you because in his words, "the lighting brings out your eyes". Over the course of the next few months, this friendship blossomed into something more. It started when you'd come over to keep him company, he'd been having trouble with nightmares and you were there to help him deal with them. One thing lead to another, and you'd found yourselves cuddled up in his bed admitting your feelings for one another.

A year on from the ordeal, though Adam was still struggling, he was practically a new person.

JIGSAW KILLER SURVIVOR CELEBRATES ONE YEAR OF FREEDOM

Read the front page of a local paper.

On this day last year, local man Adam Faulkner-Stanheight got a second chance at life, when urban explorer y/n miraculously discovered him while investigating an abandoned home on the outskirts of the city.

"Babe, look at this, we've been papped" you chuckle, handing Adam the morning paper as you sipped your coffee.

In perhaps the most an unconventional meet-cute we'll ever see, Mr Faulkner-Stanheight and Miss/Mr y/n, appear to have found love with eachother, despite the traumatic way in which they met. The two now live together and co-own a successful photography business.

Adam smiled fondly at the article, until he noticed the attached picture of the pair of you sat in a café window. He let out a groan.

"Why did they have to use that picture, I look like I'm a having a stroke" he whined, causing you to chuckle.

"Well I think you look very handsome," you peck his cheek and pour some coffee into his mug.

Life is good.

A/n first Adam fic! Ik it was a little rushed, but I honestly just wrote it so I can live in denial comfort myself by giving him a happy ending😭 Hope I did our pookie bear justice <3

Requests are open! Check my pinned post for details and masterlist :^)

Replies and reblogs are very much appreciated bc I don't have many saw mutuals and I'm tryna locate some teehee

[guillotinna]

More neighbor! Simon

He doesn't have any sugar you can borrow but he's more than happy to walk with you to the store to grab some

Brings you back the silliest trinkets he can find from deployment

Isn't keen on you going to the gym in those tiny things you call shorts but the most he can do Is go with and keep watch

Doesn't let you in his unit unless absolutely necessary. It's just a boundary he's not ready to cross yet and tbh, he's a little ashamed of how cold and impersonal his place is

You figured this might be the case so you often bring him some fresh cut flowers when you go out

You figure it will add color to the place and give simon something to tend to

He is absolutely floored the first time this happens

You always make sure he knows he has a place to spend every holiday whether it be with your friends/family (which he isn't too keen on yet) or just the two of yall together

His deployment is harder than yall both thought it would be unfortunately

The lack of his protective, calm presence is a little anxiety-inducing to you and him

Simon worries about you while he's gone

Are you remembering to lock all your locks? Even the deadbolt? Are you turning the light on outside your unit? Are you carrying the pepper spray he got you?

When he gets back, you're favorite thing to do with each other is just exist in each other's company

Reading with him on the couch, watching a movie, napping, ect.

He tries to always be there when you have maintenance or service people over to make sure nothing sketchy happens

All of his attempts of teaching you some basic self defense moves end up with yall in a pile on the floor laughing at your lack of skill

Until it goes further which it always does

The first week the rest of the taskforce come to visit simon is absolute chaos for everyone

Simon originally wanted to keep you and work separate but when soap runs into you in the hall, it's all over

You get roped into drinks with all of them in Simon's apartment and MUCH to his dismay, he is frequently the topic of conversation

If not him, than you

Ofc, Gaz, Soap and price are beyond protective of Ghost so they do interrogate you a bit

Once they determine you to be harmless, it's just hours of stories from work

Simon, mildly annoyed all night has had enough when soap grabs you in a bear hug saying "good to see you again lass" with his classic :3 smile

You laugh as Simon ushers you away gently to your flat and apologizes for his coworkers (friends) behavior

You chuckle and tell him you're happy he has friends like that to look out for him

With a soft goodnight, yall part ways and as you turn to go inside your unit, you see 3 heads poking out of Simon's door silently watching your whole interaction

[queerism1969]

Things you should know before having SEX

There is absolutely nothing rude or accusatory about asking a new partner about their STD history

Use both a barrier method (male or female condom) AND a hormonal method for the best bet at preventing pregnancy

When you’re considering stopping using condoms with a partner, you can ask them if you can go together to get tested first

Don’t have sex with anyone who would hesitate to slow down or stop if you want to or who would be angry or upset with you because of it

Get tested regularly, every 1–3 months

You can go on PrEP if you feel you are truly at risk of getting HIV

Look at your partner and make sure they do not have cold sores, if they do, don’t kiss/do oral with them!

Always meet in public first

Have boundaries and don’t be afraid of kicking someone out/leaving

It’s easier and cheaper to change condoms than diapers.

If you're planning on having a lot of casual sex, you must accept that you will be exposed to STIs. 

There is no such thing as safe sex - just risk reduced.

Pinch the reservoir tip of a condom as you slide it down the penis to make sure there is enough space for the semen to collect 

Oral/vaginal/anal sex all have STD risks.

Do NOT use oil-based lubricants with a condom

Abstinence-only is a terrible idea, and statistics show it: STD rates and teen pregnancy rates are higher in areas with abstinence-only sex education programs.

Some people enjoy a little acting or role-playing during sex so it helps to have a pronounced safe word that nobody will say by accident.

Don't dominate on the first physical meeting.

Don't introduce new, undiscussed elements into a scene in the heat of the moment.

Dental dams for oral sex, surgical gloves with LOTS of lubes for fingering, trim your nails, and wash your hands.

Vagina penetration isn't going to be as easy, like they show in porn

it's essential to clean off the semen before putting on another condom. 

Buy plenty of condoms

Pee after sex as it is important to prevent UTI.

Throw out everything you see in porn, it's unrealistic and most of the positions are not possible or enjoyable as they look on camera.

Have plenty of foreplay before penetration 

When you get on the pill, ask your doc how long that pill takes to be effective.

Cum will drip out of you, and you will look silly waddling to the bathroom to go pee and clean up

If you take any kind of antibiotics, it will render your birth control pills ineffective for the rest of that month. 

Never be ashamed to have cleanup supplies near your bed.

Doing kegel squeezes in the restroom really helps push most if not all the cum out.

Two people with a vulva can give each other STIs.

Let someone know where you are and when you'd be back. 

Your hookup doesn't have to be for penetrative sex

Don't drink anything you're handed that you don't see poured and doesn't leave your sight. 

Oral sex is very risky for things like gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis (especially syphilis and pharyngeal gonorrhea).

Asking for Snapchat always does a good job of weeding out the fakes.

Always bring your own condoms and lube

Always let the person know that you’ll only have sex with condoms before meeting up

Obtain pepper spray just in case you’re put in a dangerous situation.

Clean your toys appropriately, and make sure it's body-safe material (if it starts to smell even after cleanings, throw it away). 

Be sure to use the correct kind of lube 

For any kind of sex, there generally shouldn't be pain. If there's pain, something is probably wrong. 

If you brush your teeth before doing oral, wait till the minty flavor is gone before going down on them

Your pubic hair is normal and healthy. Trimming is fine, shaving I recommend a lot less.

Sex is a marathon, not a sprint

Not liking sex is okay.

HIV is no longer a death sentence. With proper treatment, your viral load can be so low that transition is impossible. You'll have to manage it for the rest of your life, and your partners would have to take PREP and HIV prevention drugs.

If you decide to practice kink, be aware that consent becomes much more explicit and requires a lot of prep to properly establish. Without consent, it's just abuse.

[motherofdogs1010]

Laurel Sickness II (Dark!Sonny Carisi x Reader)

Summary: It's been a few months since Sonny Carisi decided that she was his new objection of desire and it seems more apparent that she'll never be rid of him, no matter how hard she tries.

Warnings: dark!fic, 18+ only, NSFW, yandere behavior, vulgar language, yandere!Sonny, dark!Sonny, stalking, attempted blackmail, eventual kidnapping, eventual NONCON

Dividers @firefly-graphics Banner @vase-of-lilies

Y/N felt fear and anxiety each time she opened her dorm apartment door, each day she found new 'gifts' from Maddie's uncle that she always felt terrified over.

Flowers one day, a poem another, but now they were reaching into the level of lingerie and other items that she was horrified at. And for her credit, Maddie had been horrified to find it was her uncle sending such things, having even confronted the man on her behalf but to no avail, Y/N still received gifts.

She still found him following her, calling her, texting, etc. It had been months of this and Y/N was terrified to go to the police, who would believe her if she said that the assistant ADA was stalking her? She would be laughed at!

Nevertheless, Maddie had insisted on keeping the cards and screenshots as evidence.

And that brings her to today as Y/N rubbed her temples as she could feel the older man's gaze on her as she grocery shopped, her hands gripping the cart as she tried to not make it obvious.

She carried pepper spray, those loud ass alarms and even a taser now because of the obsessed older man. It terrified her just how far he was pushing to get near her and Y/N wondered just where Maddie had wandered off to.

Y/N could practically feel the man's breath down her neck as she quickened her pace, trying to remember everything that they taught in self-defense class when a hand grabbed the cart and her eyes widen.

"You're in such a rush, doll", Sonny said with a crazed look. "I just wanna talk."

"Get away from me", she spat, "I've told you 'no', you sick fuck."

"Now, now that not a nice thing to say", he said, "I just wanna talk to you, maybe take you out."

"I said 'no'", she hissed, using the cart to hit his shins.

He stumbled back just as Maddie rounded the corner and her friend rushed over to her.

"Uncle Sonny, get away from her", Maddie hissed, pushing the man away.

"Oh Maddie", Sonny said, "I haven't seen you in awhile,"

"Something going on here, ladies?" a large security guard walked up and Y/N felt relief at the man's bulky appearance. "This man bothering you?"

"I really think we should report him", Maddie said with a sympathetic look in her eyes. "It's going too far."

They were back home now, a few days had now passed and Y/N felt conflicted as she sat in the living room on their couch. Her legs curled up under her as she tried to focus on the Netflix documentary playing in front of her, but it wasn't working as Y/N practically chewed on her bottom lip.

"He's your uncle", Y/N said, "I don't want to cause problems for you with your family."

Maddie shook her head, "even my parents are saying he's crazy! We're going down first thing tomorrow."

🚓

Olivia Benson had seen a lot in her line of work over the last nearly thirty or so years. She had seen just about everything and yet she still got shaken up by a case or two.

She wasn't exactly sure what she expected to happen that day when she clocked in for the day, but it certainly wasn't this.

"Hello Lt. Benson, my name is Maddie Carisi and this is my friend, F/N. We're here to report my uncle Sonny for stalking and harassment."

Yeah, she certainly wasn't expecting this.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

There is absolutely no way that Bailey would let his and PC's kid out of his sight.

When they leave the flat, they're always followed by one of Bailey's MANY thugs. They're taught at home by private tutors because Bailey doesn't want them anywhere near Leighton. They're not allowed to go out to the farms, even when they beg PC to bring them out for riding lessons or to pet cows. They sure as HELL don't get to visit him at the orphanage while he's working, even if he wants them to take over one day.

The flat has the best security system money can buy. There's multiple locks on every door and window. The kid is enrolled in multiple self defense courses with one of Bailey's people watching in case an instructor gets handsy. They carry a nearly unlimited amount of pepper spray (just like their other parent), damn the law.

This child will never ever feel fear in that damn town. They're content in the safety of their father being the biggest and meanest monster around.

[is-it-offwithyourhead]

Okay so uh. I (17) am not the most proficient magic user, or have any at all

So because of that I conceal carry pepper spray and some other self-defense item just in case to feel safe. Just wanted to check, but is it off with my head if I bring it inside the Heartslabyul premises? Just wanted to check beforehand, that's all. Thanksss~

[yang2sfishkeeper]

we need a part two to the fratboy reaction thing you wrote i cried laughing ajfjahahjaka

(tosses this post like i throw bread at stray birds) there's your meal for the year

NCT 2022 as your final school presentation partner

side note: since i am the principal at this uni/college/higher education establishment I have decided that this will be for an english presentation. also i do realise that this does not count as a part two but dont worry i might do one in about seven years time!

Johnny: You stare holes into his laptop from across the lecture hall once your partner is announced. He thinks you’re just curious about what he’s watching, and turns the screen to reveal a custom car parts video. Despite your initial apprehension-and failing to convince your professor to change partners, he is a fairly decent partner (he made the google doc) and contributes his fair share (he offered to do most of the talking). Shows up 20 minutes late to the actual class absolutely hammered but takes it like a champ. 6/10, thanks for making the google doc, mate.

Taeil: Everything is fine until he tells you that he can't work in the campus library- he HAS to be in his dorm room. You nod along, already mentally reminding yourself to bring pepper spray in case you enter his room and there are star wars posters. Definitely INSISTS on playing music, and sings to it like his life depends on it. Like no babe, your life depends on these slides you're neglecting. Turns the script into a song to memorise it faster, and you can't believe it actually helped the both of you. No star wars posters, so the pepper spray was left untouched, 8/10, ♫ Good moooooorning everyoooooone today we will be discusssssing Littleee woomeeeeeen♫

Taeyong: For a party guy, he’s super nice and willing to do the work- it’s just that he has a horde of friends that tail him everywhere. It’s not exactly productive to be in the library (quiet) with ten dudes chatting up a storm (not quite) two tables away. Offers to buy you coffee because he feels bad, so at least your wallet is happier than your ears. During the presentation, his bros are attentively taking notes and roar into applause when you conclude the presentation. 6/10 The chorus of “MY BRO IS SO SMART” is oddly sweet, and you are thankful one of them added on “AND YOU TOO LADY” Because yeah, you too lady!

Yuta: Offers you a 100 dollar note to finish it by yourself, and when you decline he’s like ‘oh ok i’ll do it then’. You thought about changing your career goals to becoming a cultural negotiator, because that was easy. Does the absolute bare minimum, and flirts with you the entire time- shoes up on the library table and all. But it’s not all that bad, because he teaches you how to accessorize and shows you his cool tattoo. During the presentation you looked scared and plain next to him, mostly because he was decked out in full leather and facial jewelry. 4/10, could’ve told you there was a dress code. 

Kun: Lets you work at his nice apartment right outside of campus. How can he afford it? You don’t want to ask! Makes a plan on how to equally divide the workload, always texts you updates on his slides, offers advice if you need it and is generally a fantastic partner. Once the presentation is over, he resumes his role in your life as the nice guy you look at from two rows below you. 10/10 next project you’ll try to be his friend. Next project��

Doyoung: ACADEMIC WEAPON. Mate, you don’t even see this guy. He just randomly emails you a utterly phenomenal proposal for the project, you reply “this is great! When are you free to work on it?” He just attached the finished thing. It’s bulletproof, with great analyzes, and even has potential questions + answers for you to review. You meet for the first time AT the presentation, and when you ask him why he just did everything, he stone-faced replies: “I’m very passionate about metaphors.” 8/10 You were also very passionate about them, but clearly not as much as he was.

Ten: On his phone when your group was assigned; so you decide to approach him. Which was your first mistake, because once you enter a ten meter radius of him you begin sweating- and you’re only mildly offended asks who you are. You two work in his friend’s tattoo studio (why does his friend have a tattoo studio), and he will doodle up designs for you unprompted. You are 1) impressed at how good he is at drawing 2) forgetting that THERE IS A PROJECT FOCUS BITCH. 4/10 you failed, but got a sick tattoo that’s better than Yuta’s.

Jaehyun: In shows, the jock is usually an idiot until the last moment, where he magically develops super smart sense and aces the project. Not Jaehyun though, he’s a fucking moron. At some point, you just have to tell to shut up; he’s a good partner until he opens his mouth. Hey, at least his face is nice to look at, and you know who to call if you need someone’s head knocked in. 6/10 What do you mean you don’t know what a proposition is? You’re taking an ENGLISH DEGREE!

Winwin: Will be twenty minutes late. Will also bring his roommate’s dog over, which you don’t know if you’re thankful for or not. You two will interact with the social aptitude of two underdeveloped microorganisms; and he will combust if you look at him for more than a second. Not in the flustered, more in the apathetic introverted way. 4/10, you had never been so silent in your entire schooling years.

Jungwoo: Lovely boy, thank the stars you got partnered with him and not Jaehyun. The only disconcerting thing about him is that he has to type lying on his belly with his feet kicking in the air. But fuck it! You join him, and suddenly you two are middle school girls gossiping about academic essays. You both spend more time decorating the slides than finding information. 10/10 You do think that he is your long lost other half.

Mark: Despite this being a completely professional situation; with no romance and barely even any possibility for friendship, he still manages to have zero rizz. Zero Academic Rizz, as one might call it. But when he’s not embarrassing himself by stuttering eight times in five words, he gives you decent feedback and is surprisingly emotionally intelligent for being a man. Brought you a half-melted chocolate bar before the presentation because the day before you complained about cramps. 9/10 You go, Mark! Even if you mispronounced ‘theoretically’ in front of the theory teacher! 

Xiaojun: Right there alongside Taeil with the massive inclination to sing his heart out. I do imagine that he is also studying musical theatre, so god bless your heart. Do you know how distracting it is to hear phantom of the opera while you study catcher in the rye? To be fair, he also lets you occasionally listen to Nicki Minaj, which he turns into melodic opera. 2/10, he ended the presentation with ♫anyyyyyyyyy quueeeeeeeeestions♫ and you wanted to die.

Hendery: Goofy (derogatory) Silly (insultingly) Despite not knowing him before this presentation, you forcibly grew so close with him in the span of a week that you began smacking him with your laptop every time he went on a tangent. Even if you had screaming matches outside the library (you got kicked out), you two still managed to make an outstanding social commentary within the amazing world of gumball. 10/10, he got yelled at for dancing while the professor asked her question. 

Renjun: He regards you the same way you regard your friend’s 13 year old, freshly intellectually sentient sibling. Is definitely more interested in texting his friends than talking to you, but you like it that way (you think to yourself spitefully). You purposely don't decorate his slides, but his script is so good that the professor doesn't even notice it. 1/10, the one point is for when he told you that you formatted your script wrong. 

Jeno: Asks if you can come to the gym and work with him there. At first you say no, but it seems like his schedule is severely booked, and you finally relent. It sort of looks like you are his secretary, with your laptop in your hands, typing the words his grunts out between sets. All things considered, he knows alot about the topic without having to reference anything. The project is finished within three sessions, and you are forced to do some exercise 3/3 times. 8/10, the smell of sweat is horrendous, but he makes a pretty good personal trainer. One more! One more! You got this!!

Haechan: You both didn’t get anything done. Not for the lack of effort, but for the sheer amount of banter. And fighting. Lots of fighting- but your favourite colours are opposites, how were you meant to find the best slide background? The project’s pushed to the night before, and the two of you spend 5 hours straight at a McDonalds, drinking copious amounts of coke zero and ignoring the minimum wage workers trying to tell you that you shouldn’t order any more fries. 2/10, he threw said fries at you and the salt lodged itself in your keyboard.

Jaemin: Neither of you want to do the work, so he finds an existing presentation on the topic and you just… steal it. When the professor confronts you both about the obvious plagiarism, Jamein induces WW2 mental warfare to psychologically manipulate the professor into thinking she’s crazy, and that she was being unprofessional by assuming her students couldn’t produce a high quality of work. 10/10 After the presentation, Jaemin whispered to you: “Victory by any means necessary.”

Yangyang: Imagine this, 3AM, two students sitting at the library with drained faces, staring at a blank laptop screen. That’s what working with yangyang is like. Since both of you were procrastination-fueled learners, there was nothing to do but wait until the dreadful deadline approached and suddenly, you both would turn into geniuses. You moved for the first time in an hour when he offered to drive to burger king. 5/10 BURGER KING! The idea of a whopper ignites your ability to start the slides. 

Shotaro: Like Jungwoo, is a pleasure to work with, even if he is a little unremarkable. That being said, both of you had no idea how to answer one of the questions, and the two of you just exchanged concerned glances until the professor answered it for you. 5/10, both of you went to starbucks after to freak out and celebrate simultaneously.

Sungchan (I REALISED I SPELT HIM NAME WRON GIN THE OTHER POST OMG IM SO SORRY GIRL): This dude probably refuses to do work until you threaten him with either physical or mental torture (your choice, artistic interpretation) and he makes an extra effort to press each key as loudly as he can with a typing speed of half a word per minute. 2/10 During the actual presentation you two can’t stop from fighting to the point that the professor has to split you two apart. 

Chenle: You kill him. 0/10. Smack him over the head, and he still maintains the bratty disposition. He is the test sent by God, and one you cannot pass. 

Jisung: Would be super nice to work with, but surrounded by his upperclassmen, harassing him for no reason other than their preconceived role in his life. But it’s cool, because you have noise-cancelling earbuds, and also because it’s sort of funny to watch him whine and complain. When you can actually work alone, you find that he has to refill his americano at least three times per session. 6/10 Whether his hands shaking was from nerves, or a lethal caffeine overdose, you’ll never know.

[mr-animall]

The incident? 1/? ( On a working title)

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It had been a couple of months since Isaac and Edward had an incident at a party edward threw. They weren't on speaking terms, more like edward was acting way more strange than usual and isaac wasn't going to bring this change up to him because he just assumed it was part of Edwards behavior. These thoughts ran through isaac's head as he unlocked his locker to grab a history book he should have in his bag but he prefers having more important things in his bag rather than school work. "Heyyy Isaac " a small figure said as they closed isaac's locker. "Drew.." Isaac started but couldn't finish over drew talking "So there's this new kid in our class and he kind of reminded me of you and-" Isaac responded with a hum of agreement as the rest of Drews talking became faded and his eyes attention focused on a figure walking on the opposite end of the hall. He noticed it was a familar face, it was Edward. Him and Edward made eye contact for an portion of a second before Edward sped up his walking. Isaac thought "strange" but didn't care enough to continue on that thought.

The end of the day came soon and drew and him were suppose to walk home together, drew wanted to make it a regular thing for some reason. Isaac waited awhile before getting a message from Drew, reading: " Nevin fell outside on the icy sidewalk and got injured so I took him home sorryy see you tomorrow " Isaac reacted to Drew's message with a thumbs up and walked home alone. Isaac walked the route to get home, before having a strange overwhelming feeling of someone following him. "God, am I going to get jumped by Edwards goons again" Isaac thought as sped up his walking hoping to lose his probably soon to be attacker. The figure tried to put their hand on isaacs shoulder but before they could Isaac pepper sprayed them, as they screamed in agony, he backed away, once he was a safe distance he turned to see his attacker. Isaac gave a flat expression when he realized who his attacker was, Edward. Isaac did not regret his actions even if he knew Edward. "You deserve that who creeps on someone like that" Isaac said annoyed."WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!" Edward yelled on his knees, trying not to rub his eyes. "self defense" Isaac said as he yanked Edward up and pulled him, walking with him. "Where are you taking me? " Edward questioned. Isaac didn't reply to his question. Edward couldn't see anything obviously with eyes closed but he could feel them walking on the sidewalk. Then he felt Isaac set him down on his knees on grass. Before Edward could even process where he was, Isaac had already turned on the hose and sprayed at Edward. " YOU FUCKIN- " his complaints getting cut off by Isaac spraying at him. "What?" He said chocking out a laugh, pretending to act like he didn't hear Edward. Finally after what felt like forever Isaac turned off the water to reveal a very angry and soaked Edward. " Is it out of you're eyes yet?" Isaac asked unempathically. Before Edward replied he looked at his surroundings to see they we're outside of Isaac's apartment complex. Finally he replied with "Shut up", he attempted to walk towards Isaac." Hey keep your distance" Isaac said threatening his pepper spray. He knew Edward would not let him go after watering him down the way he did. Edward backed away a bit " alright whatever just stop pointing that at me" Isaac put his pepper spray down but didn't put it away in case. "Now what do you want" Isaac asked crossing his arms. Edward got a bit uncomfortable and put his hand on the back of his neck " could we talk somewhere more private?" He asked nervously. Isaac raised an eyebrow "sure, if you try anything you are getting the pepper spray out of your own eyes" he said flaty. "Whatever" Edward replied. Isaac wasn't very trusting so he let Edward led to where they would privately talk.

Edward led them to a near by park. Edward sat on a bench while Isaac stood at a safe distance. Edward sat their quietly for a couple of minutes before Isaac asked " soo???" " What are we? " Edward asked nervously looking down at ground. "I don't know what do you think?" Isaac asked in a mellow tone voice. " Well after we kissed I thought that uhh um I don't FUCKIN KNOW" he yelled in frustration, his hands on his head still staring at the ground. Isaac didn't say anything and continued to let Edward let out the frustration. After awhile he asked " do you like me or something um." Do you like me?" Isaac replied. " WHY DO YOU KEEP REPLYING TO MY QUESTIONS WITH A QUESTION!??" he yelled annoyed. Isaac didn't reply and Edward ended up blurting out"GODDAMNIT OKAYIDOCOULDYOUJUSTGIVEANACTUALRESPONSE!!Isaac replied to that by grabbing Edwards chin and signaling with his eyes to Edwards mouth. Edward was so red he hummed a yes. Isaac gave him a long peck before giving him a flat expression. "I assume that we both understand?" Isaac said, his hand still on Edwards chin. Edward hummed another yes and with that Isaac gave him another peck. They both stood there for awhile, still pecking, eventually rain poured in and they both ran to Isaacs apartment for cover.

Isaac definitely tripped Edward a couple of times on the way there but Edward was way too cold to notice it. Isaac threw a towel over Edwards head and edward dried his hair with it. "Jeez are you always going to be like this even in a relationship?" Edward said sarcastically. Isaac replied to that by grab the ends of the towel and pulling them towards himself and hushing Edward. Edward stayed so still because of how new this was all to him. Isaac leaned into Edward mouth but at the last second pulling down the towel on Edward and laughing. "SERIOUSLY ISAAC!???" Edward yelled in embarrassment. " Pff I'm not kissing you, you're wet!" He said. " Also has anyone told you that you look like a wet dog?" He said snickering. " FIRST you are wet too! Second, UGH, SHUT UP THATS SO IRRELEVANT!!" Edward yelled.

"You're just mad because I won't kiss you " Isaac said drying his hair with another towel. " Just shut up" Edward said pushing Isaac.

Once they both finally dried up they laid on Isaacs bed staring at the ceiling. " So are we really going to this?" Edward asked. " You ask to many questions" Isaac said yawing and closing his eyes. Edward was only left with his thoughts. His thoughts turned from questions on how him and Isaac would work to, if he was sure? Was Isaac the one? He shook his head before the questions grew. He turned his head to look at Isaac who was napping. Maybe it was okay, maybe Isaac and him would be okay. This wasn't so bad as he initially thought so it must be a sign of things turning for the good. It was okay. He was okay. Edward turned his head back to the ceiling and fell asleep but the feeling of doubt didn't fade and this same feeling would his enemy until there was no more of him left.

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( This took way too long ☠️)

[scribbleshanks]

I hope this isn't prying too much. I also have a march in my city for tomorrow (the 2nd) and I'm considering going, but I've literally never gone to a march before. Do you have resources on how to potentially prep for one like this? Is this one I should keep my phone off and my face covered? Being just a march instead of a protest, I don't think I have to worry about anonymity as much, but I have no idea what to expect.

you're good dude but honestly I also don't know what I'm doing, and I unfortunately don't have any easily available resources on hand about how to prep

but I remember this short comic by Dan Schade I came across that gives tips on what you can do to prepare in case you might you're worried about your safety, considering these sorts of things can be targets for police violence. I really recommend checking it out

here's a summary of it:

obscure your face, ie w a covid mask or bandana (for anonymity reasons but also covid reasons, still in a pandemic)

plain anonymous clothing, nothing identifiable

multiple water bottles, ear plugs

safety gear: safety goggles, spray bottle with milk in case of tear gas, neosporin

pepper spray if you got any

leave your phone at home; if you must bring it disable location services, put it on airplane mode, and keep it off until you need it

stay with the group, don't stray off, stay aware of your surroundings

don't take any pictures/don't post any pictures

don't talk to the police if you encounter any

to be completely honest it's possible you might not even need to do everything the comic suggests, but if you ask me it could be better to do some of the precautions in case anything happens

going to the march can really help boost the numbers and add your voice to the people there calling for a ceasefire in palestine, but I totally get that it's super nerve wracking as a first time thing (also my first time going to a march, I feel like I'm going to shit my pants). if you choose to go it doesn't hurt to do some of the small stuff like obscuring your face and turning your phone off if you're worried about anonymity or cops

wishing you absolutely all the luck anon, I hope you'll be safe over on your end

[zenigatakeibu]

SENSE AND OTHER SPECIFIC HEADCANONS.

tagged by: @foolshoujo ^_^ this is so late BUT TYYYY tagging: @espectres, @mielmoto, @brawlligator, @sosordid, & anyone else interested! i'm not too sure who all has done this one yet

WHAT DOES YOUR MUSE SMELL LIKE ? i'll be honest i am SO bad at describing/imagining what a character might smell like but ppl bring up zeni's aftershave in canon a lot, and imo warm bergamot/leather scents suit him really well. but here's what my friend said and baaasically i agree: "i think inspector zeni would be more like the strangers one (a cologne w notes of roasted coffee, whiskey, and suede) but maybe now that im thinking of food-y scents the chili pepper notes could work for him. like, roasted/popped corn, chili pepper and toasted sesame. i think it would be very tasty like the lapsang souchong smoky-tea scent, yuzu and a mild aquatic to give the impression of a soap he used or a cologne he sprayed before going out, with a rich peppery spice and the roasted grains for added warmth. just a bit of skin musk too. like if u were sitting in a restaurant with him after work you can smell pretty much his whole day on him. i dont think he would carry a strong synthetic smoke scent like you get with actual cigarette smoke i think there's a lot of other notes going on that give more of a masked, faint smoke scent hence why lapsang tea would be two-for-one in terms of green tea and smoky notes."

WHAT DO YOUR MUSE’S HANDS FEEL LIKE ? zenigata's hands are hairy and naturally soft but well-worn, calloused and scarred from almost three straight decades of fieldwork. they tend to run warm like the rest of him. he has an iron grip; his hands are INCREDIBLY strong, and his fingers are thick with blunt nails.

WHAT DOES YOUR MUSE USUALLY EAT IN A DAY ? depends on the day... zenigata has a HUGE appetite and is usually hungry enough to eat something at any given moment, but he has learned to curb it given the fact he gets stranded places... a lot. he isn't a picky eater whatsoever, aside from disliking overly sweet foods like desserts. if he's actively working on a lup heist he doesn't have much more than a few coffees and maaaybe a cup of microwave ramen/some gas station snacks. because his schedule is so busy, home cooked meals aren't something he's fortunate enough to have. instead, he gets a lot of street food, takeout, snacks, etc, anything that's easy to eat on the go. is this healthy? not at all. is it practical? maybe.. if u squint and tilt ur head. is he going to stop doing it anytime soon? well. no.

DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE A GOOD SINGING VOICE ? surprisingly, yes! there isn't any "canon" basis for this one, only that his voice actor sings professionally ^_^ and i think it'd be cute if zeni could too hehe. this song is my favorite by him! it sounds pretty close to how i imagine zeni's singing voice: deep, steady, and passionate.

DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE ANY BAD HABITS OR NERVOUS TICKS ? nervous ticks, no. bad habits, yes. zenigata is a stress smoker*, and when his depression is particularly bad, he tends to drink himself half to death. he also overlooks his own health a LOT and it doesn't help that hospitals make him nervous. though he hasn't had a heart attack yet (<-lol.), he does have a history of panic/anxiety attacks, one of which was so bad he needed to be hospitalized. these were more prevalent during his early years on the lupin case, he has since reigned them in considerably but under the right conditions the threat is of course always there.

*he tries not to smoke in public, and NEVER smokes around anyone 21 years old or younger.

WHAT DOES YOUR MUSE USUALLY LOOK LIKE / WEAR ? business wear is the name of the game. zenigata is very very VERY rarely seen out of his trenchcoat, even in the summer. under his coat is a charcoal-black suit, white button-up, dark red tie, and a tank top undershirt. despite how active he is, he wears black dress shoes (which are a bit scuffed if you look closely enough) and sock garters. on his wrist is a fairly inexpensive leather-banded watch. his fashion sense is very practical, if not erring on the side of bland. even what he considers "casual wear" is dress pants and a button-up. in general he prefers neutral and warm colors: browns, blacks, tans, oranges, reds, whites (smthn along the lines of his part 1 or cagliostro palettes).

IS YOUR MUSE AFFECTIONATE ? HOW SO ? yes... zeni may as well be a 6'5" teddy bear, but physical affection is reserved for a select few and he isn't usually the one to initiate it. that said, he has a habit of being very casually physical with lupin (there's literally an ep in part 4 where they're putting their hands in each other's mouths like it's smthn they do all the time... 🤨🏳️‍🌈). aside from lup though he's good at respecting people's physical boundaries so it's hard to say... casual affection is pretty common for him when it comes to romantic partners, like brushing a hand against your back while he passes by.

WHAT POSITION DOES YOUR MUSE SLEEP IN ? this one also depends... someone as perpetually exhausted as zenigata is a master at sleeping anytime, anywhere. when in bed though, he's either splayed out on his back or stomach; he isn't much of a side sleeper unless someone happens to be laying with him. sometimes he'll fall asleep hugging a pillow. when he's sleeping upright, like in a chair or against a wall, his arms are usually crossed over his chest and his head is bowed/his fedora tipped down over his face.

COULD YOU HEAR YOUR MUSE IN THE HALLWAY FROM ANOTHER ROOM ? stealth is NOT zenigata's strong suit. you could hear him from the other side of the city. he is L-O-U-D, LOUD, especially when he's angry. stomping feet, booming voice, the works. he doesn't try to be loud on purpose, but he's a big guy so he can't always help it.