#but i cant really think of a better end unless they want to put in the work to show them rebuilding their relationship

[ellytraoflight]

Awesamponk came full circle in the egg finale. We’ve seen them jump from lovers to estranged, holding on, letting go, to enemies once again. Ponk’s attempt at retribution backfired on him but it didn’t, really, because Ponk still has Fran hidden away in some secret prison (like a baby piglin used as a bartering chip; like the consequences of Sam’s actions).

Ponk’s “killing Sam” mission started long ago, where he tried to conscript Foolish to help him murder Sam in somewhere around July 2021. It’s worth mentioning, though, that he has plenty of opportunities to murder Sam in the coming months that he never takes. He fantasizes of it like a dream he hopes will come to fruition—a recent ex insincerely wishing death upon their past lover. He’s (understandably) very betrayed by and angry at Sam, but he doesn’t act on any murder plans. His death is not what Ponk really wants at this point in time. 

Even after Sam took Ponk’s arm, Ponk was (mostly) amicable towards Sam face-to-face for a long time. He yells a lot, and he makes petty jabs (“I know you’re good at burning [bridges]” comes to mind), but follows it up with, "Just so you know, you can come to me after everything. I will still support you, Sam, okay? You'll still have a place to stay. Because all the wrong that you have done is going to catch up behind you." Sam immediately says, “I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong.” At this point in time (approximately July 2021), Ponk seems to be bitter, but tells Sam that he’s still willing to wait for him. Sam, meanwhile, obstinately refuses any sort of reproach. This is essentially how their relationship goes for the next year or so, even while Ponk threatens bloody murder behind his back.

Ponk acts in a similar way towards Sam right after Dream escapes prison, only this time the amount of time he’s waited has taken its toll. "The next time you ask for my help, I don't think I'll be there for you. I think I'll just stand and watch. I honestly don't care anymore. [...] You're not even worth the durability on my sword.” Sam offers his own, and Ponk refuses even that. “I don't want you to die, you know why? [...] I have a feeling that someone great, someone who used to be is still in there, and he’s fighting to come out. And one day, that person will make it out, and you will see the shit that you've done to other people in this world, alright? It'll be much worth than death, Sam." Here, I believe Ponk states what he really wants: he can’t wait for Sam anymore, but he doesn’t want Sam to die. He knows that Sam is going to suffer for his actions one way or another, but he doesn’t want to be the one to do it. He’s done with Sam. 

The next time he talks about wanting to murder Sam comes chronologically after his lore stream where he decides to live in a cave. He’s tired, his clothes are tattered, and he asks both Aimsey and Eryn for their help in killing Sam. In a couple of months, Ponk jumps the train from “I don’t want Sam dead” to “I’m going to kill Sam myself.” In between his last interaction with Sam and here, Ponk’s been beaten down by life and has been alone for months. The only thing Ponk knows how to do by this point is blame Sam: in his mind, all his problems started with Sam and his arm. 

This isn’t even considering all the times both Ponk and Sam separately have flirted with Foolish to hurt the other. Or, the times Sam’s flirted with Ponk while truly believing he hasn’t done anything wrong.

By the point of the egg finale, Ponk has realized that Sam is never going to change. Ponk has been suffering, and he blames it all on Sam, and Sam has received no retribution. So, Ponk finally takes it upon himself to hurt Sam the way that Sam hurt Ponk all that time ago, even though he claimed he never would. And it still doesn’t work! Because Sam always had a contingency plan, and he blows up Ponk and he escapes. He still hasn’t learned his lesson—and neither has Ponk. He can never truly let go. 

It’s interesting to think about awesamponk in the context of the egg finale, which primarily covers the story of Skeppy and Badboyhalo. Where Skeppy and Bad have doomed themselves and the world time and time again in order to save the other, Sam and Ponk will never be able to overcome their strife, despite how much they still clearly care for one another. Skephalo say “I care for you so much that everything else can burn,” where awesamponk say “I care for you so much that I’ll flay you myself.” Both exhibit unhealthy codependencies that end up hurting themselves, the other party, and the rest of the server.

I have to wonder where awesamponk is going to go from here. Neither of them are healing, and they are both getting worse, and that’s pretty par for the course for a dream smp relationship, actually.

[literaila]

could you write a really fluffy peter Parker fic for Valentine’s Day (with banter ofc)

valentine, oh mine

tasm!peter x reader

a/n: this is not cute or fun or any of the things i aspire to be. it is painful. peter dies (he doesn’t). don’t read this.

*

“will you be my valentine?”

“hello, peter,” you answer, through your toothbrush. the words are deadpan. “i’m doing well, thank you. how are you?”

“better if you answer the question.”

you laugh, letting his response linger for a moment as you try to discern where, exactly, he is. your mouth tastes like spearmint, and it would be perfect to kiss him with. even though it’s monday, and almost midnight, and he shouldn’t be here.

for a whole multitude of reasons (number one being that you know he’ll keep you awake for at least a couple of hours more).

“where are you?” you ask him, listening to ruffling and a whine from the other end.

a manly whine, he might tell you, if you could see his face and make fun of it.

“stop deflecting. you don’t wanna be my valentine?” you can hear the frown.

and then there’s a horn, signaling absolutely nothing.

you spit into the sink, and put him on speaker as you rinse.

“i’ve gotta say that this is one of the more underwhelming valentine proposals i’ve gotten. you’re not even here. instead you’re…” you drawl, “where, again?”

“this is just further proof that i’m always thinking about you,” peter tells you, recalling an argument you’d had the day prior.

about how he wasn’t paying attention to you—or the conversation you were trying to have with him about one of your coworkers—but instead, according to him, thinking about you.

which did not help his case, of course. instead you’d given him the silence treatment for three minutes while he groveled—poorly.

and you doubt that he was thinking about valentine’s day when his eyes were glued to your lips the entire time.

“again,” you tell him, trying to hide the sound of a smile in your voice, “i would rather you just listen to me. answer my question and i’ll answer yours,” you bargain.

“how’s that fair? i asked first.”

“i asked second.”

peter sighs, and there’s a brief pause where he breaks up. you mess with the sound settings to no avail. up or down, his voice is distorted.

“are you—“ his voice wonders. “i was gonna tell you—“ and then a pause. and then. “are you giving me the silent treatment again?”

“cant hear you,” you hum. “somethings wrong with your phone.”

“how do you know it’s mine?” his voice enters again, breaking back and forth. another honking, and silence as he puts himself on mute.

because you’re no fool, and you know that peter would’ve answered the question already—if only to get you to answer his—if he didn’t know that you’d scold him for it.

“cause i can hear the wind while you swing,” you tease, though swallow, your voice is aiding the anger you should feel—because your boyfriend is a liar, and a traitor and you kinda hate him.

but you’re not really angry. you haven’t seen him since he left your house at six in the morning, so that’s probably why.

“i—“ there’s a pause. and then his voice is clear again. “that’s my hairdryer.”

“are you lying to me, peter?”

“it might even be the connection,” he continues, idly. “may’s been complaining about the service but i’ve been too busy to check the box, so—“

“are you still lying to me?”

you can almost see him swallow. “…no?”

“i told you not to call me when you’re out.”

“so you never want me to call you?” he asks, mock hurt. “when i’m not out, i’m always with you. i thought you liked my phone calls, and my voice if my memory serves me. someone really liked it—“

“you know what i mean.”

“do i?”

“peter parker, unless you want me to hang up—“

“okay, okay,” there’s still no swinging. “i’m sorry.”

“no, you’re not,” you whine, sitting on your bed and listening closely so he can’t trick you again.

“i actually am this time,” he swears. “i won’t do it again. but this is a very important matter.”

“swinging while talking is basically like texting and driving, and if i was doing that i’d be getting an earful from you.”

“it’s so not the same thing. first of all, spider senses, please keep up,” he tells you, laughing. “and who am i going to hurt in the open air?”

“a pigeon,” you say, almost angrily. “they’re an endangered species, you idiot.”

“they’re definitely not.”

“okay, then, yourself. who’s going to be my valentine if you slam into a wall and crack your head open?”

peter would not look cute without his skull, you remain firm on this fact.

you can hear his smile. “i knew you wanted to be my valentine.”

“before i knew you were lying to me.”

“you lie to me all of the time,” peter argues.

your brows furrow. “when?”

“when you said that you don’t like it when i call you,” he murmurs, almost soft, still teasing. “i know you do. you miss me.”

“i miss my boyfriend,” you answer, biting back some other remark about how you don’t miss him at all—honestly, you’re trying to prove that you’re not lying. “but apparently i’m talking to a superhero.”

“oh, did i forget to mention that? must’ve slipped my mind.”

“where are you now?” you ask. “it’s quiet.”

and then there’s a tap on the wall to your right.

“peter…”

“yes?”

“is that you?”

“maybe.”

“are you kidding?” you grumble, crawling on your knees to push back the curtains and open the window. you frown as you unlatch it, hands interrupted by other ones, doing the same thing. “how long have you been sitting out here?”

“since ‘are you lying?’ i think.” he says, in a terrible impression of your voice. “it’s cold.”

you pull him in by his wrist, immediately pushing him off when he tries to land on your bed on top of you.

peter pulls his mask off, smiling at you. “hi.”

“i’m mad. go take a shower.”

his fingers tip-toe up your arm, trying to get you to shiver. “are you really?” he hums.

“yes.”

“how can i make it up to you?”

“find me a better, non-lying valentine,” you tell him, pouting as you look away.

“is this supposed to be an answer?”

“why didn’t you just wait?” you ask instead. “if you were going to come here anyway, why didn’t you ask me in person instead of being a disappointment, and breaking a rule?”

“i don’t recall signing a contract…”

you groan, sitting up and crossing your legs as you look at him. unfortunately for you, his hair has fallen over his eyes just right, and you still want to kiss him.

“take me seriously.”

“i take everything you say,” he leans in, “very seriously.”

you push his nose. “you don’t.”

“i do!” he swears, grabbing your hand. “i’m listening. tell me what’s wrong.”

he says this condescendingly, because you already told him—kind of—but he knows that if you have to repeat it, you’ll break.

“this is why they say familiarity breeds contempt.”

peter smiles. “are you feeling contemptful right now?”

you nod.

he leans again, and you cant push him away. “how can i help?”

“you can apologize.”

peter’s smile grows softer as you look at him with eyes of steel, like he finds this version of you cute. your pout and your false anger, all bundled up into one perfect package.

just for him, you suppose.

he leans in some more, “i’m sorry,” he says, softly, just brushing your lips. “i was excited.”

you purse your lips, even while his are soft and teasing against them. it feels kind of like a feather brushing your skin, like peters got his own secret form of tickling you.

teasing you, like he always does. familiarity breeds contempt, and comfort, and confusion, and…

he kisses you fully, this time. a gentle peck. “i wanted to hear your voice,” he admits. “i’m impatient. i should listen to you more.”

“right…” you whisper, with him, as your only form of acknowledgement.

“i won’t call you while i’m out, okay? or i’ll pause somewhere.”

your brows are permanently fixed together. “don’t pause. just… get some headphones, or something.” you let your lips relax, finally, and they fall against his just as a consequence. “i like your voice too,” you admit, quietly, as an afterthought.

peters smile is bashful. “like wireless ones? not sure how that would work under the mask…”

“you made the suit,” you tell him, leaning back. “you cant figure it out, genius?”

“i’ll do it for you, i guess,” he sighs, but his fingertips trace the skin on both of your arms, simply because he’s that close.

“thank you.”

“are we done fighting now?”

you frown, pushing his hands away so you can cross your arms. “no. you really asked me to be your valentine over the phone?”

peter sighs, shaking his head. “i knew i should’ve gone with the skywriting.”

“or,” you say, rhetorically, “i don’t know, maybe a box of chocolates? flowers? a quick ‘hey, will you be my valentine?’ before you left this morning?”

“that’s so lame.”

“so is asking me over the phone.”

“i was excited,” peter argues. “i wanted an answer.”

“well you didn’t get one.”

“yes i did,” he tells you, finally grabbing your arm so he can pull you on top of him (because seriously, this is unfair).

“no.”

“you said i was your valentine,” he reminds you, tilting your head up so you’re looking at him.

“you’re mine,” you tell him, rolling your eyes. “i never said i was yours.”

“wow,” peter murmurs. “that might be the worst thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“please. i called you a vermin to may the other day.”

he pouts, childishly.

“ask me nicely,” you say, after a moment.

“i did.”

“ask me nicely again.”

there’s a pause where two stubborn people meet at a head—literally, head to head—and consider the prospects of losing this battle.

but peter is softer than you are, when you tease a smile on your lips, he breaks. “will you be my valentine?”

“hmm,” you ponder, looking away. “i’ll think about it. i mean, there’s a lot of options to choose from.”

peter bites your nose in retaliation and the two of you laugh until you’re dizzy

*

[austinsastrology8991]

Mars Aspects, how you like to WIN

if you win,i dont win so i gotta turn my loss into yours, becsuse we can't all be winners. i didnt change my mind, just chose a better outcome, whats your choice?

Mars aspecting sun - winning at all costs, they appear like a winner, but the means and ways they go about it are so in your face, you become impressed but simultaneoulsy concerned. but thats what gets them off. they turn the expression show dont tell, into show and tell everybody. which gives them more enemies, but also makes em more fierce. also flambouyant just to throw their enemies off lol. mars aspecting moon - they like to win behind closed doors. they want you to belive in them, simply becsuse they believe in you. its what gets them emotionally secure i guess. the security of winning. but its just confusing becsuse for example we watching tv on da couch, and your trynna pull a funny. sit down we still love you we just tired. but if you put them in there place expect a tantrum. mars aspecting mercury - basically death note. intellectual competitors/debators always playing the chess game of anything; "whats the best move here" also super entertainign speakers, can talk super fast and aggressively. also very into learning, they want to dominate the intellectual sphere. they wanna argue with everyone but no one wanna bite back lol. also > can't catch deez hands

mars aspecting venus - agrresively charming. there charisma just exudes from there aura naturally, people just laugh at these guys so easily, because they just are likeable with it. also people love it when they are angry, they just fall for em harder. but they dont like to get angry becsuse theyd rather just be charming mars aspecting jupiter - so much movement, they move like the "wacky waving inflatable arm tube man" - family guy. but seriously the way they move peopple just cant believe they move like dat, they move so strangely but hypnotically. also so much energy these guys can do a million sets in da gym and eat the whole fridge. they just got way too much energy and it shows... they also just get really lucky w competition, victory just lands in their lap lol. mars aspecting saturn - these guys are always striving to be da best at whatevrr there mind is set on. if they gotta goal, then whatsver is obstructing there path better move or they gonna trample all over it/ya. kinda intimidating. but this usually sets them back, but in the end only makes them stronger/ more fierce. because to them the fear people have of them is also getting in there way lmao. unless it works to there favour... basically control freaks and they only care about their agenda, but will pretend to have your interests in mind, just to get there ends. mars aspecting uranus - these guys are the true psychopathic freaks, everyone i know with this aspect is sadistic and also enjoys getting hit. people stay away from them, because they know they just wanna hit them lol. even when they acting nice, after like a week they show their crazy psychotic side, and everyones like yeahhhhh idk about you. but they dont mean harm they just view violence as intriguing i guess.... they like to win by fighting everyone and anyone lmao, but its play fighting, unless you try them... they really are the psychopaths; extremely calculated and precise with there attacks. they think they doing you a favour by attacking you lol. mars aspecting neptune - idk why but they always getting sexualized, probs because they are an easy target, and there submissiveness gets people going like "i can hurt them and they will literally just apoliogize :D" i feel bad for these lot, but there forgiveness really does shine through, i guess they dominate through submission... go figure. they like to win you over with their pure hearts <3 mars aspecting pluto - they literally do nothing and everyone is intimidated lmao. you can just tell these guys will not just kill you but torture you and enjoy it lol. thats why they always acting like they are not a threat, because they are begging for someone to challenge them, but they are so bad at acting innocent, everyone can tell they are a wolf in sheeps clothing. its all or nothing with them. but they choose their prey very carefully... they like to win at all costs no matta the price.

[sukunasweetheart]

OK, poe, hear me out. What do you think the jjk males would react with a wife reader when their 4yr kid asks them how kids are made? I can just imagine with some of them, reader is absolutely shooting a death glare at their hubby, and just trying to give to basically avoid to telling the kid.(Since the kid is like 4)

hi babes! i dont write for the other jjk men unfortunately but i am more than happy to talk abt sukuna with this (as per usual)

with sukuna i feel like he would watch you trying to make up some really basic child-friendly story about how kids are born into this world and sukuna would listen into your cheesy ass explanation and SNORT LMFAOOO making it seem like the process of conceiving a child (sex) is all magic and rainbows <3 when in reality you know he was balls deep inside you for nights on end until your poor womb was so full with his seed,,, there was no way that you were NOT getting pregnant after that,,,

but ofc, u cant tell ur infant child this so um, that made up fairytale of yours will have to do for now. sukuna will continue to cackle at you, and so you'd probably narrow your eyes and glare at your husband being like "be quiet. unless you have a better story in mind?"

"what? you want me to talk about how i literally turned you into a cream filled-"

you clasp your hand over his mouth so fast. luckily your child had already tuned out due to their low attention span and did not hear that last part 💀 only sukunas muffled laughing can be heard.

"are you mad??" and he only starts laughing harder.

"ahh, this whole thing reminded me of the good old times though. i miss trying to put a baby in you. how about we reminisce tonight? i could give you a second one..." he'd whisper to you afterwards.

you say no, but he is aware that your nos are never really a no... youll cave in anyway. it hits different when he's ACTUALLY trying to impregnate you.

[soapskneebrace]

Obviously if your asks aren’t open then feel free to disregard this- (love your work btw I just- I cant- 🥰)

Do you think they keep the dog tags *ON* during sex? How do you think they’d wear them during it? Would they have you wear them?

You don’t HAVE to answer for each individual character obviously if you would rather just do it as a whole or just one that’s fine! Whatever works for you 💕

*cracks knuckles* I’ll do ‘em all. (Sorry for the long post, I’ll put it under a readmore when I get home 🙏)

Do the Tags Stay on in Bed?

Ghost wears his tags because, like the mask, they just don't ever come off. He is two people when he is with you--Ghost is the creature that can protect you, that can do the things Simon Riley would have been too weak for when it comes to your safety. But Simon is the man that could have loved you properly. Simon is the man Ghost believes could make you coffee in the morning, could rub your neck at the end of a long day.

It isn't initially why he wears his tags when he fucks you, but it is now--Ghost holds you in an iron grip, looms over you as he thrusts into you hard enough to bang the headboard against the wall, and feels the tags with a dead man's name clink against his chest. They remind him that you deserve whatever is left of the man who would have been far better for you than Ghost ever could be.

Soap wears his tags fully out of pride. The SAS is his life, is a massive part of his identity, and while he knows not every mission he's sent on is wholly for the good, he holds onto his conviction to act with integrity and compassion no matter what. The SAS might not always do good, but he will, as much as he can.

He wants you to be proud of him, too--he's really doing it all for you, after all. When those tags hang between you as your legs are wrapped around his waist, as they come to rest on your chest when he leans down to kiss you, he wants you to know that when he wears them he's thinking of you.

Gaz has no preference, but more often than not they stay on because he forgets to take them off. Usually, it's because the moment you're both free with enough time to actually have sex, he isn't going to bother with silly things like getting completely undressed--he wants you, now.

So, they've whacked you in the face a couple times as the two of you have gone at it. It's too funny to get mad at, and Gaz always uses it as an excuse to "make it up to you." Sometimes he'll take them off, too, and put them around your neck instead. "Keep 'em safe for me, eh?" he says with a grin.

Price takes his tags off. Over 20 years of service have left him wanting something that exists apart from violence and bloodshed, and every moment he spends with you is that something. He doesn't want to be the Captain with you, not unless he has to be--putting his tags aside gives him permission to just be John with you.

Besides, they'd get in the way. John does his very, very best to please you, to satisfy you beyond any expectation you may have of him, and sometimes that leaves you needing to bite down on his neck to keep from screaming. You’d probably not prefer to break a tooth on the tags’ chain.

Alejandro also takes his tags off, although it’s less about keeping work and pleasure separate and more about the annoyance they can be. When he is with you, Alejo is focused wholly on you, and does not appreciate distractions of any sort. He doesn’t want to have to fling his tags around to get them out of the way, or let them hang to be caught on an errant foot or wrist.

He does, however, love to see you wear them. It’s totally a possessive thing, but in the best way—Alejo worships the ground you walk on, and seeing his name around your neck inspires the same awe usually reserved for the divine. He thinks you could have anyone you wanted, and is humbled daily that you continue to choose him.

Rudy doesn’t care either way if the tags are on or off, and if the topic ever comes up he leaves that up to you. It’s an attitude that is very in-character—Rudy’s satisfaction comes from ensuring that you are satisfied, no matter what. Rudy’s love language, hands down, is acts of service.

Similarly to Alejo, however, he does enjoy seeing you wear his tags. “They belong to you anyway, mi vida,” he’ll tell you, lining your neck with gentle kisses. “All of me does.” (He has been known, however, to forget where he puts them if they do come off. So it’s probably better if they stay on.)

Bonus: Valeria gave hers to you a long time ago. She asks very frequently to see them, to make sure you keep them with you at all times. She promised herself she would never, ever carry their weight again, but she also can’t quite bear to throw them away, so now they stay with the only person in the world that she trusts.

If you wear them to bed, it will inspire a frenzy in her that will leave you limping the next morning. Those tags are a past version of her, a version she emerged from like a snake shedding its skin. While she is never sure how to feel about that previous self, seeing you take care its vestiges satisfies an ache in Valeria that she will never acknowledge.

Bonus: Graves has mixed feelings about his tags overall, being that he is technically not required to wear them anymore. They don’t mean the same thing to him now that they used to. That doesn’t mean they aren’t always on him, of course—he keeps them tucked into his boots. So you never see them.

If you were to ever find them, bring them into the bedroom? It could go one of two ways. On the one hand, you could end up benefitting short-term from the frustrated agitation those tags inspire, with Graves using your body to relieve an old, invisible hurt you never knew about. He will withdraw from you afterwords, though, too caught up in himself to really connect with. On the other, he could just withdraw immediately, recede from you, and the tension of that encounter will linger for days. It’s best not to involve his tags at all.

[kitty-meowskers]

AVENTURINE RAMBLE ALERT!!!

tw: suicidal tendencies/ideation? let me know if i should add anything because im not used to needing to add this stuff- im usually goofy abt him but ive been thinking about this for a while now

aventurine puts quite the emphasis when he tells us that he doesn't make deals he can lose

yet he doesn't seem to hesitate to risk his life, doing it willingly even, like in the final victor light cone where it was down right unnecessary

sorry pal but no sane man would do that, it's almost like he craves to 'lose' one of these gambles, like dying would be a kind of victory in and of itself.

and in a way, taking his backstory into consideration, it does kind of make sense...? he doesn't have anything to live for other than being the sole survivor of the massacre. he was bought as a slave because he was lucky enough to survive. he climbed the ranks because he was lucky enough to win the bets he made, the bets he made in hopes of regaining his freedom. but at some point it wasn't about regaining his freedom anymore. even as one of the stonehearts, all he is is a chip for the ipc. and he's accepted it.

he cant get out of the system (unless he dies) and he's accepted that he's just a tool. it's even mentioned in his first meeting voiceline.

"Your humble servant Aventurine at your disposal, just a cog in the machine called the IPC's Strategic Investment Department. Nevertheless, I can also play the role of friend if needed"

(wow promoted from slave to servant)

before the thrill of the gambles was 'If i win this, i'll finally have a little more freedom' but now it's are 'if i lose this, i'll lose it all' (a part of me considers that this is where kakavasha became aventurine)

he's a coward in his own way to me. i think the majority can agree that this man is suicidal (HE FUCKING ATTEMPTED MULTIPLE TIMES JUST TO 'CHECK' IF YOU COULD ACTUALLY DIE IN THE DREAMSCAPE WTF??) but he's suicidal in the way that although he does want to end his life, he's too scared to do it directly by his own hands.

but also perhaps it's not just fear. as the only avgin left he also feels the burden of making sure his people don't just 'go extinct' (for lack of a better word). his family put so much faith in him before they left. would it really be ok for him to give up like that?

(side note: he mentioned before he didnt really appreciate the rain. perhaps the two are related?)

so instead, comparable to a person who stops checking for cars before crossing the road, he gambles, willingly risking his life, in hopes that his luck will eventually run out by itself...

i love him guys. i promise.

[strwberri-milk]

Being a bit indulgent (bc I'm sick) and asking for a sick fic Kae, Diluc, and Zhongli please. It can be either his s/o or the boys themselves I don't mind! :)

oh i hate being sick i cant fucking breathe and nothign tastes good its jawoefjawofa god

Kaeya is the most miserable man alive when he's sick. The less severe the illness the more dramatic he is. If he's actually so sick he should be staying home he feels so guilty for being useless that he'll do everything he can to get work done and avoid being useless.

However, if he's just down from a cold and just coughs every so often he's got more than enough energy to rain hell down on you for not cuddling him enough for being a sad, sick man.

He isn't good at staying in bed either way. He walks around constantly or tries to bother you or be a busybody. Staying in one place isn't really something he's interested in doing, and him being sick just makes it significantly worse. He gets even more restless when confronted with the fact that he really should be resting. Telling him what to do makes him want to do the opposite, so it can be very counterproductive.

Whenever you're sick he does his best to take care of you! He's pretty good at it too and you do feel yourself getting better but you can't help but worry about Kaeya's well-being since he holds and kisses you so often despite your illness. You don't want to get him sick but he swears up and down he doesn't care.

His food is definitely...medicinal. He's great at cooking unless it's to make you feel better. Something awful happens and he makes stuff that is good for you, and definitely tastes like it too.

Diluc is also awful at being sick. He's a little better in the sense that he will stay at the winery and focus primarily on paperwork. However, the issue is indeed that he is too focused on paperwork. He doesn't remember to eat or take any sort of medicine. You'll end up having to force feed it down his throat if you want any chance of Diluc ingesting anything that could potentially make him feel better.

This means that sometimes, Diluc stays sick longer than he should since he refuses to eat food. His body is working on fumes at this point, even more so than usual. He's simply a shell of a man when he's sick, mechanically working through his things and somehow finishing them even though he'll have no recollection of actually doing the work once he's fine again.

Diluc also gets very spacey. He isn't all there and sometimes, if you're lucky you get to see the very real effect that fatigue has on him. He easily curls up on anything and falls asleep, inadvertently getting enough rest to the point that it could negate the consequences of not eating.

When you get sick Diluc becomes very anal about making sure you stay rested and eating. He'll feed you himself, finding easily digestible things that can satiate you without turning your stomach.

You might feel like he's suffocating you a bit with his inability to leave you alone but he's working so earnestly to make sure you feel better that you can't mind. He's putting in all his energy to making sure you're alright, and somehow it does work. You think you get better faster thanks to his attention and devotion, something he's very proud about.

Zhongli is the only good patient to have when sick. He's willing to sit back and relax, take his time and really ensure that he gets better quicker rather than later. He doesn't exactly toil through work, but he will get some light tasks done before trying to get fresh air to better his constitution.

He is very particular about the medicine he takes. He just wants to make sure he does it right to avoid any complications, making him again, the ideal patient.

Thanks to all of this, he gets better pretty quickly. Illnesses don't knock him on his ass but he does take some preventative measures after being sick to avoid getting sick again.

When you get sick he's good at taking care of you and giving you space if you want it. If you don't, then he'll be concocting some herbal remedies to help cope with your symptoms in addition to the medicine you take to actually help with the illness. He knows the symptoms are generally the worst part, which is why he tries to manage them as much as possible.

He also likes to just quietly spend time with you in the day as you get some rest, gently running his fingers through your hair as you nap peacefully in the afternoon sun. He wishes that your breathing wasn't so laboured, but seeing you at peace calms his heart just a little.

[caffinedragon]

He knows what happened, he just doesn't feel like anyone would care.

This is a little long but it has been bothering me after i have seen several posts on how Halsin didn't realize what happened to him in the Underdark.

I have a different opinion:

Have people ever considered that Halsin talks that way about his trauma because of how little he believes people would care, and not that he doesn't understand what happened to him?

Now, I am speaking from my own personal experience as someone who has faced a lot of trauma(Nothing sexual thankfully) and who has been put in a semi leadership adjacent position during or after experiencing it, and let me tell ya, you quickly learn how much of a one sided affair that is.

From a young age I ended up being the person everybody in my friend group came to for advice and help, something I had taken pride in. However, I wouldn't realize how lonely that was until I was in my early 20's when the first time I tried to reach out for a fraction of that help I gave out back I got a response along the lines of, "Your life is so much better than mine, what do you need help for?"

And do you know what that does to someone?

I will tell ya.

You shut the fuck down.

You feel like you don't have the right to reach out for help.

Your the strong one.

Your the one everybody needs to look up to.

Your the one everyone believes is unshakable.

You don't need help.

You can do this all on your own.

Sound Familiar?

I am not in the camp that he doesn't understand what happened to him.

It's been 200 years at least and he didn't live most of his life in a society with social rules, forced power dynamics and complex politics and gender norms.

He knows what happened to him was horrific and wrong.

He knows how nature works. He studies it.

I doubt he is ignorant of the fact that the mind and body can operate separately.

He wouldn't be able to control his wild shape otherwise.

He tells you how he feared for his life and wanted to escape.

He explains how he was biding his time in order to survive.

Ever hear of undercover agents getting too deep and forgetting they were undercover?

But, despite this, he has also been around people long enough to notice how people might perceive his story.

he has interacted with people long enough to know that not everyone would be understanding.

I firmly believe that he talks the way he does about his trauma because he knows how people not only react to his physical appearance, but how they view him as this wise and strong unbreakable leader.

He said it himself, "People who see someone my size don't think i can get hurt or have feelings."

He talks like that about it because he has been made to feel that no one would care if he actually broke down.

To be able to do that, you need to trust the other person not to judge you or blow you off.

It puts you in an incredibly vulnerable position.

A vulnerable position Halsin couldn't really afford to put himself in due to everything that happened after.

Unless you have been in that position, you have no idea how scary that is.

And the only way to change that, is to find someone or someones, that allow you to be weak in front of them without judgement.

Which, even in this day and age, is very hard to do.

I am lucky that i have my best friend of 30+ years who let me realize that i had someone i could be weak in front of.

Halsin doesn't have and i think has ever had someone to be weak in front of by the time of the start of the game.

I know how hard it was to let my walls down at 36.

I cant imagine how hard that would be at 350.

If he can at all.

tl;dr: Halsin knows what happened to him was awful and horrific. He just believes no one would care if he spoke about it seriously because "People believe someone my size cant get hurt or have feelings."

[fictionfixations]

signature spells and the person

(referencing this list because i cant remember them all)

spoilers for all books. and glorious masquerade

(note that some characters i dont know well at all. which you can kind of tell with me being super unsure. there's this person in the reblogs who elaborated on bits i wasn't quite correct on or didnt have an idea on so go read it!)

signature spells embodying the person sort of? Riddle - collar. restriction. limitations.

Deuce - not taking hits lying down. striking back. (a reckless idiot like that)

Cater - hm.. putting on an act for everyone? people pleaser? so its like. all of those little 'acts' and 'personas' he puts on are sort of 'him' in a sense. but its also not him at the same time. (like how the clones arent actually him because they're just a creation of his magic. but they are him in a way, too right?)

trey - sneaky sneaky guy who notices a lot more than you'd think. presents himself as one way but he's complicated

Leona - sand. like all his hard work turning to sand, or basically nothing.

Jack - wolves work in packs, right? he wants to work in a pack. (even though he says he doesn't). they're strong, but they do better together. ..probably. idk.

Ruggie - treating all people 'equally' (in the sense that he'd mess with them all. unless they were a serious trouble to deal with) also sucks up to people........ (and probably laughing at them behind their back for being such a 'fool' haha get it. because fool's parade..--) maybe? Idk.

Azul - exchanging his old self for an asshole basically (because he must've been a nicer guy as a bby. but then ppl were mean to him and now he's very bitter.)

Jade - acting like the more calmer and reasonable of the twins, even though he can be just like floyd, if a bit more dangerous considering he can get under your skin, get you trust him, that he just wants to 'help you'. and you tell him all your secrets. and then it 'shocks your heart' when he reveals his true colors. (like bruh. his halloween groovification message was literally, "Oooh, I love it when you flee in terror. It makes me want to chase you!")

Floyd - i don't know. uhhh. in his lab coat(?) vignette there's this moment where a guy bumps into him, is like 'hEY WHO DO YOU--' and then realizes its floyd and backs off. basically the guy who intimidates them to make them weaker, ig? terrorizing them. 'binding the heart' in fear. i mean he'll still hurt them ofc, but the point is is that he's the scary one, jade's the 'calm' one, thats his image to people. i dont know him nearly well enough to really get it.

Kalim - wishing for everyone to be happy. to dance and sing and forget about all the troubles. throwing parties and feasts to cheer them up (and granting them relief when needed). although it doesn't always end well and his attempts can end up 'useless', like how oasis maker is 'useless' when people already have easy access to water. but at other points desperately needed.

Jamil - turning him into the 'master' and the other the 'servant'

Vil - planting 'curses' in plain sight. masking it. disguising it. acting. like putting on makeup to change something. maybe. possibly. (this is weak) maybe a false reassurance. a mask.

Epel - accepting who he is (that he's short and seen as 'cute'. and so using it to his advantage.) like, seeming 'soft and dainty' but actually a guy who can beat someone up. like, 'you'll just go to sleep..' (and then the crimson part of slumber with a negative meaning. the poison apple. something that looks innocent but is actually harmful.) and then you never wake up again because you were TRICKED HAHAHA /hj

Rook - will literally do anything for what his fixations are. in which his fixations are 'beauty', which is a very vague category and include literally everything. also very very creepy and stalker-ish in the process.

Idia - honestly idfk. uh. 'responsibility'. burdens. control. it literally just represents a part of his job? idfk. its such a big part of him (also his family had the same UM so like..) that its just. who he is.

Malleus - there was this quote he said about how 'when you nap, even 500 years could pass without you noticing'. so it could be something like how time moves by so fast like that

guh.. it was "Give in to slumber, and a thousand years will pass in the blink of an eye."

Silver - I don't know him that well... i mean like there's references to him having parallels with like. i think.. aurora?? the girl who maleficent cursed. i think. dreams and wishes. i don't know i havent even seen him use it yet LMFAO (ive only finished part 2 of book 7..) maybe like. things not seeming real..? idk man. a desire to see people, to stay by their side, but can't, so instead it'll be in a dream. so either it isn't real, a mere fantasy, or, shrug. like. yknow the remember me song in coco? it's like 'and everytime you hear a guitar you'll remember and think about me' (i cant remember the exact lyrics)

Sebek - admires malleus. a lot. malleus has control over lightning or something. so sebek in turn becomes that 'lightning' that he can control, as his guard and stuff like that. 'i will be his sword', maybe.

lilia - he reflects a lot about the past imo. overly aware of things and the passing of time. at least in my opinion. how things can pass by so easily. so he takes little bits and pieces to cherish for the rest of his life, and to think back on. a trip back down memory lane, as they say.

Rollo - literally gets set on fire like his brother..?? that thing forever haunting him that its such a big part of him at this point (hating magic and hating what happened.) and him hating himself making himself see him as part of the reason why his brother died, and therefore making him literally the thing that killed him sort of?

[d10nsaint]

DAPHINE

secretive plotter, kim dokja, yoo junghyuk, yoo sangah x gn!reader [separate]

another request from @rouecentric 😦⁉️🤯 so surprised rn. Anyways i love od but he’s not here because i don't wanna make them all have a romantic setting then have od be the only platonic one bcs he’s like 12.also tagging @elychee bcs they're AMAZING and wrote abt the lcf trio with a plus sized reader and you should really check it out [wink wink] i really tried to make this gn pls tell if it isn't THIS IS ALSO JUST ME SAYING NONSENSE BTW IT MIGHT NOT MAKE SENSE

ʚɞ Kim Dokja;

DOKJA is just happy he has a lover.

Really.

He also loves hugging you after a warm day—you’re just so soft and sweet to him (like anybody would be. hes so

He loves touching you. Hes just such a sucker for affection because he had none when he was younger, and he'd be elated to have someone who could handle his touch and affirm him throughout the day that its okay and they dont mind.

When it comes to your body,he really likes your chest.He lays on it when you both are lying down on the couch or even in bed. But once, one thing led to another on the couch and his head ended up on your thighs. he was literally shaking. His mind was going a million miles per hour and his face went beet red, and it was to the point where you had to make sure he was okay.

ʚɞ Yoo Sangah;

SANGAH is so naturally sweet and was raised in a way that everyone is the same—and thats how she sees people! Of course, not until she finds an s/o whos plus sized. She finally realizes the beauty of plus sized bodies !!

after a long day of work getting harassed, she just wants to go home and settle down in her lovers arms with a book and some detox tea !!

once, she was laying atop you reading a book with your back against the armrest of the couch and her back against yours, and then she realized something—you were very soft. Well, to her, atleast. Ever since, you’ve always been the big spoon!!

Shes never really had impure thoughts about you or your body….in fact, you’d have to bring stuff like that up to her in a conversation because of how little she thinks of it, so i cant really do the thigh thing

ʚɞ Yoo Junghyuk/Joonhyuk;

JUNGHYUK would just be happy that you’d survive a situation where he can't get you both food. ( Idk why i wrote that,i can't go 5 hours without getting hungry)

He’d usually carry you around as a form of training—and never admit it. He also does it just to be able to hold you, but whatever.

He'd be very fond of you (in his head) and try to be very subtle with it-he'd throw you a high grade item and say,'here,you're weak' and if you call him out, he'd glare at you and do nothing else.

By the time that you both are dating, he'd have opened up and really cherished you,hoping to make you happy and give you a life like him of the past would have.

If theres a point where youre dating and not fighting for your lives, he'd love to [secretly] just hold you in his arms and cherish you. It doesnt matter if he's standing up or laying down.He's just so happy to have you in his empty regressor life.

ʚɞ Secretive Plotter;

PLOTTER really doesnt care about body types, even when they come to his s/o UNLESS its very unhealthy.

As i’d suppose that you and plotter would be in a nice,loving and healthy relationship, he’s seen your body—no matter how insecure you are. He loves you no matter what, and nobody should ever dare to talk bad about your body and your habits or else he’d (as I said in a previous post) reign hell upon that person.

Putting the reassurance aside, hes very glad to have a thicker/ plus sized partner, due to how much his body is developed. He wouldnt have to see you as a doll and try to hold back his natural strength with all his might (i mean he still has to hold back) but its better than nothing!

he LOVES to put his hand on your thighs. He can't go a DAY without putting his hands on them, if its meant to be a reassuring caress or a more intimate touch. Male? Female? Something in between? He doesn’t care.

[yarrayora]

I actually really love ur interpretation of farcille where falin and marcille have a... Difficult time together. Because it annoys me when people treat their relationship like the most important one and also like they're completely perfect for each other. Because they're not! The bath scene itself is an example of how they're not completely on the same page yet. Marcille treats Falin like a precious toy to look over, even when she's clearly uncomfortable, and when Falin starts asking questions (because she knows something is up), Marcille shuts it down. Marcille doesn't treat Falin as an equal. Also the bits in the daydream hour where it implies Marcille wants Falin to dress a certain way or cut her hair a certain way because it looks good to Marcille.

Not to say that Marcille is evil, or even completely in the wrong. I think Falin has a bit of a bad trait where she doesn't talk about things that upset the ones she loves. There was an extra comic, if I remember correctly, from Falin and Marcille's school days, about Falin bringing food to Marcille's room and Marcille would just be like "??? What???" And eventually Falin just stops going to Marcille's room. But then later Laois explains that Falin was trying to get Marcille to eat with her, but eventually gave up without speaking about it at all. Or how she did drop the topic of her resurrection even though she knew something was wrong and deserved to know what was going on. And while she was under the influence of the dungeons magic, it's pretty in character of her to go hungry and not say anything because someone she loved (Thistle in that moment) wanted her food.

And that's not even getting into how many fans erase how important Laois is to BOTH of them and how much he loves them as well. (Marcille was definitely not his biggest fan in the beginning, but I think you could make the argument that by the end, she cherishes him almost, if not just as, much as she cherishes Falin. Not even in a shippy way)

Anyway. All this to say, I love farcille but they're not a perfect couple right now. I actually really like that ending you imagined a while ago where they never put a label on things and falin dies old and happy but Marcille keeps thinking of "what could have been". I think that's really the only way their relationship can end (unless they COMMUNICATE in the case of Falin and LISTEN in the case of Marcille)

here's the scene you mentioned!

i think theres a scene in a different chapter showing more of this but i cant remember lol so im not sure if falin stopped or not. but considering how falin grew up as a conveniently good kid for her parents i think it's in-character for her to give up in fear of bothering marcille

which is in line with chimera falin's attitude (WHICH IS SO COOL THAT HER CORE AS A PERSON REMAINS UNCHANGED DESPITE THE DUNGEON'S INFLUENCE)

and yes i think a lot about how laios is the reason they even go on the dangerous quest to save falin! he is what convinced marcille and chilchuck it's not too late for her! because they know hes knowledgeable about monsters, so if he thinks they can still save her then it must be possible! on the contrary, as shown by the official roleswap comic where falin and laios swapped places, she couldn't convince the party, not even marcille, to go save laios with her. further showing that laios is the person they trust as their leader

also regarding marcille and laios i think people sometimes forget that despite their difference branch of passions both of them are hungry for knowledge

hell, she might be the only one in the party beside laios who is in it for the sake of knowledge instead of glory and wealth (toshiro is in it to prove himself as a warrior, namari having to make up for her father's misdeed, chilchuck for the betterment of his people, and falin who is still at the stage of following laios and marcille's whims)

honestly i think it's inevitable for The Most Popular Ship to be sandpapered. in the end, shipping is about having fun with barbie dolls that have no agency to protest about how theyre being treated and we the shippers are gods ruling over fanon

but im also. kinda petty about it lol.

[jacaerysgf]

Hi there ❤️

I saw that your requests are open and i would like to request something if you dont mind.

Maybe one where reader has the same age of ethan but she was in a relationship with Richie (she meet Richie in the store when she was hired and Richie was a worker at that store ) but Ethan was in love with her (they go to the same school /college) so he got heartbroken when he discovered that reader its dating his brother the time that he went to the store to buy something (angsty) In the end he convinces her that he is a better option. Thank you so much ❤️

The better brother

Warnings | highschool!ethan (seniors), RICHIE 🤮 (you are 18 richie is 20 ethan is 18 quinn is 19), you and richie work at a convenience store, neglected and insecure ethan, cursing, richie is a major asshole, angst with happy ending !!! seriously richie is an ass. not proofread !!

wc | 2.4k

a/n: thank you for the request i really liked writing this prompt! maybe a little different than what you wanted but i hope you enjoy!!

--

"Ill see you later." "bye richie." he kissed you on the cheek before he got out of the car and walked into work. You had school today so you just had come to drop him off, you watched him walk in before driving off.

The two of you had been dating for almost two months now. You started working at the same place as him, for four months, he was the store manager so you two were constantly with each other and he asked you out soon after.

You were happy, mostly. Richie was nice yes but he seemed kind of distant most of the time unless you two were at work and you were helping him stock or he needed a ride to work. But he was nice, yes....

You dont wanna think about it any more as you arrive at school. You get out of your car and walk towards the building, "Good morning." You turn and see ethan standing in his usual spot waiting for you like he always does.

Ethan has been a friend of yours since the beginning of the school year, he was sweet and smart (and super cute.) You two had a couple of classes together so he waited outside for you every morning so he could walk to class with you.

"Good morning e." He smiles at you and you smile back, "did you finish the paper for english yet?" you groan, "dont even remind me." he laughs and begins to walk along side you to class.

---

Ethan didnt know when he began to like you. Maybe it was when on the first day of school this year when you sat down next to him you smiled or maybe it was when you didn't mind as he talked your ear off about comic books or maybe it was when you comforted him while his cat was at the vet and he had to go to school.

He didn't know and frankly he didn't care all he knew is that he liked you, he liked you so much he didn't know how to tell you. Everyday he would try to build up the courage to confess to you and once he finally tries he sees your smiling face and he fails.

Today at school you looked especially gorgeous, he tried to tell you but he just wouldn't come out and hes so frustrated with himself, why cant he just suck it up and say you looked pretty. On the walk home hes beating himself up, maybe he should just text you? no you said you had work after school he shouldn't.

He rolls his eyes at the text from quinn to pick up a bag of takis for her and tries to tell her no but shes insistent he gets them so groans as he begins the walk to the store. He finally arrives and begins to look around to find the chips, where the hell were they?

He finally finds the isle and spots two employees standing in the isle stocking the shelf, they look so familiar-

"it wasnt that bad."

"you cannot be serious the menu was actually horrible."

oh my god, it was you. and his brother? he hides around the corner unable to take his eyes off the scene, you work here? with his brother?

"well i liked it." you shrug as you put another bag on the shelf.

"you just dont understand good movies babe its not my fault."

He feels his stomach drop as he watches richie kiss you, no. He might throw up as he watches you shove him and shake your head saying something about being at work. his eyes begin to water as his hands shake.

Richie. Of course. the shadow he'll always live behind, the man he can never compete with. His older brother, hes the star of the family, his dad adores him so much to the point ethan was so neglected by his father to the point he decided to take his mothers name instead. His father never cared, not when he had his star son.

In his shock ethan drops his phone and it hits the hard ground with a bang, "shit." this was awful, ethan bent down to grab it but unable to spot it behind his watery eyes. The loud sound must have alerted you two and he looked up to see the two of you standing over him.

"Ethan?" You looked the most shocked to see him. He quickly looked back down and grabbed his phone hoping you didn't see his watery face.

"oh hey ethan." richie wrapped an arm around your shoulder with a smirk while greeting him. ethan cant even look at you. Of course youd date a guy like richie, he was a lot cooler than he was. God why did he have to suck so fucking much?

"you know ethan?" you sound confused as you look at richie, ethan looks at the ground wishing it was open up and shallow him whole so he could get far far away from here. "of course i do hes my baby brother, isnt that right ethan?" he's mocking him. ethan's tears begin to flow freely down his face.

You brush richies arm off and take another step closer to ethan, you look concerned and it makes him feel awful he was so fucking embarrassed.

"Ethan are you okay?" Ethan nods his head and races out of the store ignoring you yelling after him. He begins to sob as he feet hit the ground hard as he runs away from the store.

At some point he cant run anymore, he can barely breath because of how hard he was crying. He sits at some random bench and cries his heart out.

His heart is broken. its squeezing in his chest, he puts his hand over it and wishes he could just rip it out of his chest because that's exactly how it felt.

--

You stand frozen in the store looking at the soot ethan was just standing. You move to go after him before a hand grabs your arm, "dont worry about him babe." You turn to richie who was a smirk on his face.

"He was clearly upset-" Richie rolls his eyes, growing more annoyed at the conversation about his brother, "hes always been a fucking crybaby, it's nothing to sweat about. fucking annoying." He mumbles to the last part under his breath but you can hear it and you stare at him in disbelief.

"Hes your brother you shouldn't take about him like that-" richie groans and throws his hands uo in the air, "thats just how he his babe," "dont call me babe." "hes a fucking whiner! thats just how it is, he always has been. And he never shuts the fuck up sometimes like jesus christ no one gives a shit about your fucking comic books man. Me and dad make bets to see how long he'll keep his mouth shut." He laughs to himself as he reflects on the memories but you can only stare at him in disgust.

Who the hell was the guy standing in front of you? Your face contorts into anger as you feel yourself get defensive over ethan, "You make me sick." You hiss at him, "How dare you talk about him like that?" He rolls his eyes, "Why do you care so much-" "Cause hes my fucking friend! and you disgust me with the way you talk about him. I feel like i dont even fucking know you right now."

"if you like him so much than you go fuck him or something." You stand in shock, who the fuck did he think he was. you grab your name tag and rip it off your shirt. "Go fuck yourself richie. I quit and we're fucking done." You storm off and he sighs, "you cant be fucking serious right now." you turn back to him, "yes richie i'm done serious you make me sick."

He rushes over to you and grabs you by the arm, He looks at you with a disgusted expression, "over him? really?" Youre face contorts to one of disbelief, "Yes! Youre a piece of shit! ethan is a nice guy, much nicer than you."

He shakes his head at you in disbelief as he lets go of your arm, "What so youre in love with him or something, i didn't know you were a fucking whore. Its good were done i dont wanna be dating a slut."

Your fist slams into his jaw and he hits the ground, hard. "Never. Ever. Speak to me like that. And if i ever catch you talking shit about ethan i will do worse than punch you seriously." You spit on him as you walk out slamming the door hard behind you.

You feel yourself shaking with anger. Was that a stupid decision, maybe. did you regret it? hell no. You can barely believe richie and how mush of an ass he was, thankfully you found out sooner rather than later.

You can barely even be bothered with richie right now, but right now all you can think of is ethan, you begin to look around trying to see if you can spot ethan, he doesn't drive so he must have walked here.

"Ethan?" You call out and begin to walk in what what hopefully the right direction, you're mind races as you try to find him. Was he okay? He was clearly crying before, you continue to call for him before you see a figure crouched over on a bench. Ethan.

You rush over and call for him, "Ethan." You sit next to him and you feel your heart drop at his shoulders which are shaking and you can hear him sobbing into his hands.

You try to grab his face out of his hands but he doesn't let you, "Ethan please." You feel your heart break as he shakes his head furiously, "Leave me please." His voice breaks as he tries to speak, you can barely make out his words. "Im not going anywhere, ethan please."

He reluctantly moved his hands from his face and you cup his cheeks, you frown as you see his teary eyes, his wet face and the pout on his face. "Ethan." Its hushed, you pull him into your arms. he wraps his arms around you tightly as his head finds its way to your neck as he begin to cry again.

You attempt to comfort him by running your hands through is hair, "what wrong ethan? please talk to me. I hate seeing you like this." His cries only get worse, "ill never be good enough." youre confused, "dont say that ethan its not true-" "of course its true! ill never be good enough for anything or anyone, especially not you."

You freeze, the hand in his hair stops its motion as he continues, "why am i so awful, if i wasn't so terrible, if i wasnt so annoying, if i was him, you would choose me. Why cant it ever be me who gets choosen?"

You pull back and grab both of his cheeks, hes look down at your lap. You wipe the tears of hiss face, "Ethan-" "I dont want your pity." he continues to look down and he pulls away from you and begins to furiously wipe his face with is sleeves, "Ethan-"

"hes always had everything i ever wanted, i dont know why im so surprised he got you too." Your heart is racing at the implications of his words, does he mean- "of course he got the girl im in love with."

You rethink over everything interaction youve had with ethan over the past couple months. you always looked forward to seeing him every morning at school with his smile and his awkwardness. He told the most horrible jokes but they made you laugh so much that when you thought about them later in the day you laughed to yourself to the point you must have looked crazy to everyone around you, he always cheered you on if you had a test and always made time to help you study even if it conflicted with his schedule. You hated the days he was out of school, they would feel lonely and empty and you would spent the whole day texting him. even the thought of his smile made you smile- oh my god. You were in love with him.

With richie it felt like just passing time, like you knew it was never going to be you and him in the end but you still wanted it to work. You grab his face for the third time and force him to look at you. "Ethan, you have to be honest with me, do you mean what you're saying?" He nods, "Of course i do, ive been in love with you for forever." he covers yours hands with his, "i know youre with my brother but i need you to know i've always loved you and if you could ever consider the possibility of liking me back-"

You kiss him and you feel in gasp against you, he soon enough begins to kiss you back. It feels like electricity running through your body as the sparks between you two fly out everywhere. It was perfect, richies kisses were rushed, like he wanted to get it over with but with ethan he was slower, like he wanted to savor every second of you and every bit of you.

You two pull away for a air and he stares at you in disbelief, "im in love with you too ethan." His eyes widen as he shakes his head, "no no youre not richie-" "me and richie are done. Hes a dick." Ethan laughs, "I realized while he was talking shit about you that it was never him. When he was talking about you and then me i got so mad i fucking quit and punched him across the face." you laugh as his mouth opens in shock, "no-" "yes! because i felt so much for you. i love you ethan and im sorry i didn't realize it sooner."

A huge smile falls on his face and yours reflects his, more tears begin to fall but this time theyre happy ones, "god im so fucking happy right now." you laugh as he pulls you into another kiss.

"did you really punch him?"

"yeah and i fucking spit on the asshole too."

"I fucking love you."

[skiniibuniii]

ed holiday survival guide

what to bring:

all of this should fit, with extra space, in a large purse. a backpack also works if you need more space.

3 cans of diet soda, 2 of your usual and 1 special one you dont normally buy. if youre sleeping over, take 3-4 of your usual. save the special one for dinner to help you avoid eating.

2 bottles of your favorite water, 3 if youre sleeping over.

of course, a low cal snack like a granola bar in case you feel like youre going to faint. you dont wanna pass out in front of all those people and family members you barely know! bring 2-3 if youre sleeping over or get faint easily.

a few cans of of your favorite energy drink, however many you need to seem alive and well. im taking 4. if you dont like energy drinks, you better hope they have a Keurig or you can get to a starbucks.

napkins or paper towels and a plastic bag. if you can get away with having your purse at the table, line a pocket with a plastic bag. then use your napkin to dispose of your unwanted food into the bag. this can also work with a hoodie pocket, but its riskier. at the end of the dinner, zip up the bag and now it wont get you all gross while you wait for a chance to throw it away.

obvy your phone to sneak under the table and post updates on tumblr.

dont bring any money or cards, unless you need your ID or to buy starbucks or something. in that case, bring only your ID and the exact amount you need for your starbucks.

tips:

dont purge. theyll probably hear you. just avoid eating, and if you really need to, have a metab day beforehand so you do not eat/binge. you dont know what kind of calories are in all that food

choose the lowest cal option available, obvy. your best bet is salad or plain vegetables. if those arent an option, go for turkey, as long as it isnt sitting in a pool of liquid. if that isnt an option, just eat cranberry sauce. fr.

make sure you get a tiny portion of whatever youre eating. like, the total food on your plate should be no bigger than the size of your fist, just in case your lose control and start actually eating. you dont want to ask for more! ew.

make sure you do the classic of chewing constantly. take tiny bites and just do not stop chewing.

popping in a secret piece of gum can help with the last tip a lot esp if its mint. cuz then the food will taste weird if you do decide to eat.

unless its something like salad or cranberry sauce from a can, account for at least 2tbsp of butter when youre calculating your cals.

if you cant estimate the calories in a way you find satisfying, ask for the recipe. calculate the calories, and if you had guessed under initially, make sure you add that same amount of cals to everything else you have to calculate. its probably the sneaky butter messing you up anyway.

best outfit: shirt that shows off your body, an oversized hoodie, and slightly baggy pants. do not wear the hoodie at all till just before dinnertime, then put it on to cover up any bloating. that or just wear it the whole time and do not take it off at all.

wear tall shoes! i am very lucky to have platform boots, and i will be wearing them. they'll make you taller, obvy, so even if youre a bigger ana (like me), youll look lankier and more "proportional"

act like youre wiping your mouth, but really youre doin chew and spit into a napkin, ofc! BUT carbs begin digestion in your mouth, meaning you will consume calories if you chew and spit carbs. AVOID ALL CARBS!!

will update if i think of more tips <3

[signedeclipse]

Hiiiii! Could I get the human flesh ask with Enmu, Gyutaro, and Daki? Thank youuuuuu!

Daki | Enmu | Gyutaro [X Reader]

In which their s/o mentions their interest in eating human flesh.

Daki

Daki didn't eat in the way demons typically did; she was more like a serpent, absorbing them through her scarves and leaving no trace at all

This meant you weren't exposed to it often, not unless her brother was around- but even he kept it to himself or his own privacy, there was just a mess left after

Just through glimpses, you'd learned how to see when Daki was 'eating', she was far more relaxed, usually in her demoness form laying back with you

You wondered what it tasted like, if she ate it like this because she was disgusted in it or if it was just to keep you away from it as much as possible

She had never offered you any, not that you expected her to

While laying down with her one day, you asked if she would be willing to let you try something

Cue the 'what? Why would you want to do that? Have you eaten today?'

She's obviously a bit concerned about the behaviour

But ultimately shrugs it off

The next time her brother comes in, she mentioned it to him, to which he gives you a small piece of the flesh

Daki cleans up your face from any droplets of blood, and if you can't finish it she happily eats the rest

She loves the colour it leave son your lips, but tells you not to do it again

Enmu

It would suffice to say that Enmu was very open about his qualities, usually using towering mounds to devour beings whole, even from right next to you as if it were nothing

He didn't like when people spoke to you loosely, acting as if he wasn't there, so he liked to put on a show for you

Even in his kisses, you'd taste the lingering blood in his canines, or mixed into his saliva

Enmu never really thought about giving you human meat, though

He knew demons were made to process and tear into it better, and you seemed happy with your own food, so why consider such a thing?

But when you'd stare at him curiously, he joking teased you by offering a chunk of someones thigh

You played with it in your hands for a bit, which stained and dripped with the red, before hesitantly biting it

Your teeth barely broke though, so it was useless and you sort of just ended up choking down some of the blood that gushed out

Maybe it wasn't for you

But Enmu was very amused

Gyutaro

Gyutaro didn;t like the idea of seeing you more demon like, so he ate with his back turned to you if not in an entirely different place so you wouldn't consider it all that much

He already has a sister as a demon, and he wasn't sure how he'd feel about his s/o being one too

You weren't allowed any dead bodies or horrible sights because he wanted to keep you as normal as he could, to keep that light shining

But there was no denying that you were a curious person

First, you tried animals bone marrow and bone broth, because it was very similar to a humans

But it didn't satiate the curiosity, so you tried to ask Daki to sneak you some

Of course he found out and scolded you, but he mentioned he wouldn't be mad if you really wanted to try

He knew you wouldn't like the taste, so he wasn't surprised when you ran for the sink after

Serves you right

Authors Note - I cant remember if this is the third or fourth of these requests, but please enjoy! Ive been loving this mini series a lot haha, I think some of the demons are a lot more careful than these guys

[kroosluvr]

sorry i feel bad for ranting on """Main"" i guess though i kinda keep this more of apersonal blog than a very polished art blog thing. under the cut

things wld be easier if i was just an oc-centric artist (which i kinda am but only to myself in my head) but it Is how it is at this point (i want to draw my ocs more but they never turn out the way i want) and theres just so much i want to draw for the silly little media franchises that happen to capture my stupid little heart and etc.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh ifeel stupid for loving too much or whatever. i dont want to throw a pity party over this either because in the end its just "who cares LOVE WHAT U LOVE DRAW WHAT U WANT" right but in the moment i feel stupid and it sucks and i hate it actually!!!!!!! and i WILL in fact keep drawing hwat i want and what makes me happy but like idkidkdidkgkhw

sometimes i cant help thinking if i was a better artist.,, like more artistically skilled........ would people really say the things they do about the things i draw

^ (Authors note: no one has been mean about the stuff i draw just. side comments i guess lol. from my friends though and not random people . so its harder to just brush off i guess)

like maybe im just not good enough yet. which is fine. spite is actually a really good drawing proponent. but its also just like . when will it be enough to be worth it? will it be worth being my friend now if im a good artist? if i draw what you want? ...........................

its obviously not discounting the people who really enjoy my art style adn what i draw regardless (which im soooo so grateful for bc i never like expect anyone to stick around sicne my fixations change like the wind) but its like... these r the people i spend the most time with . and it sucks. i have to. second guess what i say and what i type and just. ok like i know its not that serious either but i hate it i really dont like it (<- im also just socially anxious if u cant tell)

and its also like i cant just extract myself from my friend group for a while to kinda cool off (read: muster the courage to be an idiot in front of them again) bc ummmmm um i dont have many friends . they are kind of all i got. (which is nice i like small circles(?) im not good at opening up to people.) and i do admire and like them very much but then i just feel like i get bit in the ass all the time (This past month) with shit like this i guess

and honestly like. well half the reason i keep switching fixations is BECAUSE of stuff like this where i feel self conscious of """"Being obsessed"""" over One thing so much so i just immediately switch tracks so fast but its just a cycle (Which i dont see as a bad thing tbh? it keeps my art moving and things fresh so like.)

And honestly i dont really try to . be too vocal about. fandom? stuff? when im with my friends? unless they bring it up first? i got burnt so many times with my vtuber interests so like lol ive Learned. but maybe it slips out too much? bruh. my bad i guess

i have to stop thinking abt this man.., why has this happened to me so many times this past month lol its kind of ridiculous

(Im sure they dont like. mean it. right? ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, if they actually meant it and want me to shut up then they should just actually say so right.,

i just want to draw . its not going to stop me from drawing but damn does it really like rain on my parade or put a dent in my fender or whatever other sayings that i cant think of right now

in the end i really REALLY appreciate frm the very very bottom of my heart everyone that even remotely likes/appreciates my art (especially the persona stuff nowadays bc thats what im mainly pouring all my mental and physical and emotional into) like i really really mean it. because this stuff like my silly comics and stuff is really stuff i make for purely my own heart and just what i want to see kinda. and so it just makes me feel really warm that people also want to see it and keep seeing it and love it and everything like that. and, with all this kind of negative stuff going on i just go back and reread tags and comments and stuff and i feel encouraged to keep going and draw more and everything like that. so like really, truly, thank you. i really never thought so many people would like the stuff i make. even if its not really artistically good, or really deeply interesting, im really happy it could be something special to people out there

[knowltonsrangers]

theoretically pt.5

TURN!Benjamin Tallmadge x F!reader

part one , part two , part three , part four

The light of the candle isn’t what has been keeping you up, but it isn’t necessarily helping your venture on attempting to get some rest.

Your cheek firmly pressed against your crossed arms, you stare absentmindedly at Benjamin’s back, watching the way his shoulders tense with annoyance as he has to scribble out words of his official report, then begin the sentence again.

Your eyes follow to his desk, absolutely littered with letters and maps, enough that you squint to attempt a better glance at their words and images.

If he had any idea that you were awake, he simply ignored the fact.

Part of you was raked with guilt, weighed down by the idea that most of this was entirely your fault with little way to fix the problem.

You wanted to stay irate, remain bitter at the fact it wasn’t he who was stuck here with you, it was you who was stuck here with him.

Yet, if anything, your resentful attitude did nothing to aid your cause, so maybe you could stand to be a bit nicer to the man who did nothing to harm you just yet.

“Cant sleep?”

It startles you, your eyes bouncing around the tent, surprised that he had moved from his desk without as much as a sound.

You must’ve zoned out, for him to have now be seated at the end of the cot, arms across his chest as he stares down at you.

“Sorry, I did not intend to startle you.”

“No…it’s okay. And yeah, I can’t sleep. Something like that.”

“Something on your mind?”

“No. Today just wore me out.”

You watch him warily, your cheek returning to your arm as you now stare at the wall of the tent.

“I was pleased with how you spoke to the General, at least.”

His words are soft, almost a whisper, still looking at you, as if there was something more he wished to ask.

“I did okay?”

The validation was not expected, but extremely comforting, finally daring to move onto your back so you could properly speak to him.

“Besides your ramblings, sure.”

“Thanks.”

Ben expected you to bite back, some comment about his teasing, but all you do is feel the waves of relief wash over you in droves.

“I ran your name, and as far as I know, not a soul knows of you.”

“Unless a relative is walking around, I doubt anyone would. A last name may match, but my full name, no one.”

He hums, fingers tapping against his arms, the words rolling around on his tongue for a moment before they come out of his mouth.

“The dress annoyed you so much? I thought you looked very nice,”

The candlelight does little to help hide the twinge of red that blossoms on your cheeks.

“Let’s just say I appreciated you keeping these around.”

You gesture to your t-shirt and joggers.

“Well, you look nice in those too. If that happens to be standard for your time.”

You snort.

“No, this would be considered sleepwear, probably because that’s what I was doing when I woke up here.”

Ben seems mildly interested in this, scooting a little closer to you, so you sit up and draw your knees to your chest so he can sit next to you on the cot.

“I think I owe you an apology, Major.”

Solemnly, your gaze lowers to the white sheet, wrinkling your nose in defeat.

“Whatever for, y/n?”

“Besides…our first encounter, you’ve been nothing but nice to me. And I’ve been a sarcastic, annoying drama queen, probably.”

Ben actually laughs, throwing his head back before quickly collecting himself, realizing where he was and the hour of the night.

“I wouldn’t think you were such. Though I don’t know entirely what ‘drama queen’ means, I am putting the pieces together.”

“Anyway though, I do owe you one. I really am sorry. I hope through all this we can be besties—friends. I’d like that, if that’s okay with you.”

Ben mulls it over for a moment, is heart beating in his ears so loudly he’s positive you can hear it, before answering your proposal with a firm nod.

“I’d like that as well.”

There’s a passing moment of silence, then Ben gathers the courage to ask one more question for the night.

“y/n,”

Your gaze lifts, meeting his, and he can’t help the way he nearly swoons over the way you look at him.

“If I can’t find a way to help you…whatever the situation may be,”

He counts off on agitated fingers.

“Confusion, illness, injury, time travel—“

A sigh escapes his chapped lips.

“What are you going to do?”

It’s what’s been keeping you awake, terribly sad and lonely. You want to burst into tears at the thought of it, but you didn’t feel right throwing some of that burden on Ben, especially after the meaningful moments you’ve just exchanged.

Instead, you shrug, swallowing down a building sob.

“Y’know, Ben, I hadn’t really thought about it.”

A sad smile finds its way to your cheeks.

“I trust you. And I trust that we’ll figure it out. Together.”

Your teeth sink slowly into your bottom lip, hesitant to touch him, but move forward all the same. Patting his hand softly, you hope your comforting motion is enough to get you through this conversation.

“I’m inclined to agree.”

He goes to say more, but you slink back down onto the cot, knees drawn to your chest as you grab at the warmth beneath the sheet.

“Good night, Ben,”

You try your best to say it without sounding too warbled.

“Sleep well, y/n.”

He pushes off the cot, and as he blows out the candle, the tent is enveloped in a darkness that you welcomed with open arms.