#but thank u for coming to my ted talk i will now let myself out

[0509-brainrot]

no but like i need to absorb the brainpower of every 0509 enjoyer here. every thought every dynamic every headcanon and idea i need to collect them all like pokemon cards no this isnt bcuz i'm genuinely terrible at expressing my ideas and talking about things i like what are you talking about hsdfhbjldsf i need your guys' brains

like they are insane. they are the most normal couple ever. they gift each other flower bouquets (and shidou does it with an unhealthy amount of thought and meaning behind them and mikoto tries his best to keep up) they are normal and affectionate. they are a little unhinged. they fix each other. they quit smoking together (either shidou does it to prompt mikoto to quit his poor self-destructive habits or mikoto does it to make shidou quit his poor self-destructive habits). or the opposite. maybe it just gets worse. medical malpractice. or not. they cook together and shidou's great at it but mikoto either makes only ramen or he burns the kitchen. they're baking together but mikoto manages to crack an egg and only have half of the contents land in the bowl and shidou's apalled but in an affectionate way (that was so oddly specific I apologize). they do taxes and lead normal lives and they're both Overworked to hell (and mikoto's underpaid but shidou's funny doctor salary makes up for it) but they have each other when they get home. they Suck. but they're normal about it. probably. they are everything to each other. they are authentic to each other. whatever that happens to mean. for better or for worse. i am pushing their heads together. you know that one gif of a doctor reaching for a syringe while the patient tries to make heart hands with them? that's them right there. that's the dynamic. they're so silly. none of this makes any sense this is probably so incoherent orz

Sorry just everytime I see someone get excited over or talk about 0509 in the tags of reblogs I go insane. When people comment or send asks I go insane (also this is a sideblog so I can't reply directly to comments and I Apologize about that). You all are making me insane you're making me Worse /pos I adore hearing people's thoughts So Much Pleaaaaase give me more

also this is the gif i was thinking of (cw syringe)

[wormswurld]

shoutout @femcelfuneral for reminding me abt felix absolutely coming apart the second ollie starts to play with his nipples 🤤 like jesus christ the sounds that would come out of that man would be Heavenly...

like thinking abt felix n ollie playfully arguing and ollie (being the fucking weird freak he is) decides to pull on felix's nipples to ????? shut him up??? get a reaction out of him??? assert dominance?? who knows! but felix's brain just immediately shuts down like !!!! "ollie, mate, i seriously dont- nghhhhh...." and his pretty face just twists up due to the short lived pain, his mouth going all slack, eyes quickly rolling back,, and ollie just looks at him like Oh Shit I Just Discovered Something About The Both Of Us lmao

after this new found Reaction ollie likes to play with them whenever he gets the chance absolutely reveling in the power he holds over felix,, this probs leads to felix wanting to get his nips pierced 😊 yet it's too embarrassing to get them done at a tattoo shop so ollie does them instead..."you ready felix?" ollie questions, eyes quickly raking over felix's shirtless body, taking in the vastness of his his chest and the way it rises and falls. hes so cute when hes nervous. "u-uh yeah, im ready ollie" felix responded anxiously, hands fidgeting with the sheets beneath him. slowly leaning over as not to scare felix more (not that it mattered anyway) ollie positioned himself eye level with felix's nipple. with small needle in hand, ollie looked back up at felix as for confirmation before piercing his rosy colored bud.

without missing a beat, felix let out a high pitched gasp, his hands struggling to ball into a fist as he felt the the pain permeate through his warmed flesh. "fuckfuckfuck..." felix muttered, throwing his head back in pleasure as ollie swiftly slid the small metal bar into his now puffy nipple. and oh, why don't you look at that. felix is bleeding. god, piercing him was one thing, but seeing him bleed was a whole other level of arousal ollie never knew he could feel. throwing all semblance of normalcy out the window, ollie leisurely licked at the small trail of blood left from the piercing. "nghh-no ollie please..." felix begged, this causing ollie to quicken the pace of his tongue gliding over the now gone crimson colored liquid that once marked felix's skin. and that's what did it. the most guttural moan made its way out of felix's mouth, as a wet spot began to spread its way across the front of his blue boxers. with that ollie decided to stop his actions, finally getting what he truly wanted out of felix. complete power and control. in that very moment felix was his and the light sheen on blood over his lips and chin proved that.

i have no clue what the fuck came over me with this. i just started writing shit...OOPS! thank u for coming to my ted talk that turned into an unexpected oneshot lmao love yall (u can tell i had to stop myself from continuing lol its late and i need to calm tf down...) 🤗

[florallylly]

side b: steve harrington

side a side a: eddie munson

side b

explanation post

FORGET THE FORMATTING!!! PLS BE QUIET!!! anyways into steve harrington. his playlist is SAUR bubblegum lesbian pop. and tbh i really tried to kind of blend new/old in side a with eddie and make it smth MAYBE he would listen to? but steve, i automatically pegged him as 80s pop and lesbian music like. you probably listen to bruce springsteen but in my heart u know who rina sawayama is. anyways yes steve harrington coping through partying and then falling in lurv.

YES he admits it as soon as it happens bc he's emotionally intelligent and he knows himself thank u for coming to my ted talk

“Perfect Places” Lorde; “Have another drink, get lost in us/this is how we get notorious” “Every night, I live and die/meet somebody, take ‘em home” YEAH…. steve harrington coping post season-2 and stancy break up by  partying and drinking and sleeping around. like i see it…. i was there and it’s so. desperation to find peace and eventually settling for oblivion bc nothing is better than everything 

“Heaven/Hell” CHVRCHES; this song is so steve harrington to me i can’t even describe…. like it’s so disillusionment with his former sense of self and what he used to attach importance to. and he feels like a fraud and also an imposter, surrounded by people who he’s outgrown. and somehow it also feels like no one has truly realized that vital shift. it’s SAUR “is it right if i’m a perfect actress/playing the princess in distress?” “is it alright if i save myself and/if i clean up my own mess” IDK. why is that so steve to me. 

“Stand Back” Stevie Nicks; like LIKE this song is so everyone wants me except for you/you’re the only one i want. idk…. steve harrington this is so you to me. he is so pining he is so what if he is so i built our future in my head and now everything is crumbling down around me. you have changed me so deeply that i can never go back to the same person i was before i met you. and the world around me stays stagnant and stuck in time, with me out like a sore thumb. like i’m sobbing crying frothing at the mouth…. 

“Head Over Heels/Broken” Tears for Fears; a classic… a classic… but also like a little mashup moment to make it narratively appropriate in my head. also the applause at the end is giving the curtains are down the performance is over… king steve lays down his crown… AM I INSANE IN THIS MOMENT… 

“Honey Understand” Noso; to me this is a little bit of a moment like if i’m misinterpreting this song wrong SO embarrassing. but literally?? i think it’s so steve… bc it’s like in any break up it’s always going to be him at fault because he’s the ladies man and the popular jerk. he’s always going to be made out to be a villain in certain people’s eyes. like what am i even saying but you get it right… and it’s like how can i even keep fighting when i’m already crumbling apart. but also you’ll never know bc i’ll never let anyone know how bad it is … i’m unwell 

“Deliverance” CHVRCHES; i think this is actually about religion (maybe?) but i’m thinking of it as more of a general framework or life view that steve held before the upside down. he’s had to rethink what’s important and what matters like fr…. and now that he’s spending more time with eddie and realizing things about… naur it’s like this moment is his watershed moment and he’s being set free of smth like… his king steve persona?? his guilt over barb?? any other head canon ??? or maybe it’s like his fucked up coping viewed as something that’s bringing him back to his “normal” self… like back 2 parties back 2 alcoholism 

“Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight” ABBA; like YEAH of course this song is on here. and it’s so hello steve harrington are you on the prowl are you looking for something so you can actually feel something

“Take Me Home Tonight” Eddie Money; pretty self explanatory like… steve harrington you are turning to sex to distract yourself and chasing the way you felt before. also in comparison to gimme gimme gimme, this is a more self aware reflection like. post nut clarity. but also in my head this is steve harrington meeting with eddie munson s2 and making the impulsive decision to follow him literally anywhere, kick starting everything that follows. 

“Yours” Now, Now; attraction bantering cockiness like it’s all there like it’s everything… it’s everything…. 

“Untouched” The Veronicas, I DON’T CARE IF IT DOESN’T FIT … this song is so important to me and it’s saur…. steve harrington you are getting attached steve harrington you are falling in love. to be clear this is before they get together or do anything like…. this is the pining this is the wanting 

“Don’t You Want Me” The Human League; so basically added for vibes, didn’t pay much attention to the lyrics and meaning. IT’S JUST SO …. 80s pop and 80s pop is so steve. HOWEVER i feel like i can use this as my little soap box bc “you were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar… turned you int someone new/now five years later on, you’ve got the world at your feet” is saur nancy and “the five years we have had have been such good at times, I still love you/ but now, i think it’s time i lived my life on my own” is SAUR steve. like nancy wheeler in s4 reflecting on steve’s changes and the fandom’s reflection of pushing this narrative that nancy was the main reason and the greatest influence on steve’s change. my pet peeve…. let’s not forget the trauma he went through that could have shook his entire worldview. also ??? he’s a big boy with his own thoughts let him have a little ponder. i would add more but i’m not capable of totally explaining this at all JUST !!! ugh but yeah steve harrington you are attracted to eddie munson song

“Forever Tonight” Kelechi; “love me like there’s no tomorrow/kiss me like we’re out of time” DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING??? I AM IN REAL PAIN!!! 

“I Was Made For Lovin’ You” KISS; KEYSTONE SONG. yes they fucked yes they fucked. and OKAY idc if it’s cheesy YOU try to fit in a semi-metal song into your 80s/lesbian pop playlist

“Lay All Your Love On Me” ABBA; OMG …. it is so necessary. that is all. LIKE SO NEEDED. 

“Hungry Eyes” Eric Carmen; it’s literally from dirty dancing like what else can i say… steve harrington is having his little romcom moment. honestly he’s practically one of the brat pack. he’s LIVING it he’s living it

“Keep on Loving You” REO Speedwagon; okay they were killing on anniversaries i just know it. like this is so my parent’s wedding. it’s so puffed sleeve dresses and slow dancing at prom and steve is a ROMANTIC. steve is a ROMANTIC in a small midwest town like. where was his prom king moment 

“Seven Wonders” Fleetwood Mac; lowkey a filler song but yes can anything compare to the beauty of this moment something very romantic. this is on the mixtape for sure 

“(Don’t Fear) The Reaper” Blue Oyster Cult; ONCE AGAIN I KNOW IT DOESNT FIT THAT WELL… but this is a keystone song… a metal song forcefully inserted into the playlist. this is supposed to mark the point where steve falls in love love. but what i got from the song is basically like. we’re going to die anyways let’s just fall in love. i’m sure that’s way simplistic but vibe… 

“Horses” Maggie Rogers; sorry I’m…. gay….? and it’s like it’s like it’s like i wanna be free i wanna be free with you do you wanna be free with me. in a more romantic and AHHHH way but like how do i even begin to try and describe how this song makes me feel like… unreal. but it’s also like a little stop for steve to doubt and think about what he’s feeling and deciding to do ??? idk where i was going with that. but yes my little interlude for pondering

“Black Butterflies and Deja Vu (Acoustic)” The Maine; keystone song keystone song. when steve admits he is in lurv of course. chose the acoustic version bc i feel like it fits better and also i think it’s more of a soft realization for steve rather than the absolute car wreck that is eddie. please understand my thoughts immediately 

[wulvendoomevil]

Howdy it’s been almost a month since I said I’d do a track breakdown of my album and I’ve only done one but I just chugged some coffee and something that feels like motivation is festering inside me. So without further ado,

Hell is not a place is one of the last songs I wrote for the album. I had the melody for the line “deliver us into a new dark age” in my head for a while but I wasn’t sure how to build the song around it. At first I was thinking it would be a softer slowcore jam but I decided to add in some huge guitars and a simple driving beat. This song was a pain to mix and I almost scrapped it serval times. I can remember texting my artist friends in a panic the day I was supposed to upload my album because I hated how it sounded. So I ended up using an earlier mix of the song, which is the one that’s on the album now. At first I was very unsure and pretty mad at myself for releasing something that felt so unfinished but it’s actually turned out to be one of my favorite songs from this project.

Lyrically, this song is really simple with just a few lines. “Deliver us into a new dark age, deliver us into night”- these words came to mind around the time of the supreme court’s decision to overturn row v wade (fuck scotus). The world feels like it’s slipping backwards and it is very easy to sink into these feelings of helplessness. However it is not the time to sit idly by and let the world pass us over, it’s time to make our voices heard. I encourage you to get involved and do your part, because no one else is going to do it for you.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk and I won’t make you wait a million years for the next one. love u guys

[gray-ace-space]

so, you don't have to reply to this if you don't want to. And I'm sorry for just appearing with this but, I need to get this out to another living person for once..

I think I might be in the ace spectrum, but I feel attracted to people. *VERY* attracted. I have fantasies, and I masturbate, and I have crushes, but I can't see myself ever actually banging somebody?? Cuz like, ew, WTF, why would I want YOU in ME bro?? And it makes me feel like a fraud because I just use the ace label, while still doing all that behind the scenes, and it feels wrong! And plus, being omni isn't helping, cuz I could see myself hugging and kissing on pretty much any gender, but like, I wouldn't wanna fuck anybody. And I feel like I might end up leading somebody on, cuz I flirt heavily and I make sex jokes and all that junk, but I don't, and wouldn't really ever, wanna have sex. And I have a uterus so people keep saying "Ohh, come on, you'll want sex and babies someday?" And like- BITCH NOOOOO. I AIN'T WANT NO DAMN PUSSY PARASITES 😭😭😭

Anyways- Uh- Rant done - idk what to say now

Have a nice day, drink water, eat food, take a bath, yadda yadda, dont die! Thanks for listening to my ted talk

hi!

if you think you're acespec, you're acespec. none of your thoughts or feelings change that (unless you want them to) and you're not wrong for thinking and feeling them. you will never be judged for that here.

you didn't ask, but i can't help but notice what you're describing sounds a lot like aegosexual and/or orchidsexual!

aegosexual: having a disconnect between your self and your sexuality; enjoying sex in fiction and fantasies, as something that happens to others, but being uncomfortable with the idea of taking part in it yourself

orchidsexual: feeling sexual attraction but never wanting to act on it (i think this one could be a better fit since it includes feeling attraction)

both of these can be filed under gray ace.

alternatively, if you mean you're strongly romantically attracted to ppl, but not sexually (not super clear from the ask), then you're just straight up ace. being flirty or masturbating doesn't change that.

if someone feels let down by you not wanting to have sex with them, that's their problem. you have a right to affirm your boundaries and not be pressured into doing things you don't wanna do.

sending u good vibes!

[dirtgrub]

i wrote this late last night when i was in my feelings and a lil buzzed so forgive any typos but- as a longtime enjoyer of this song i had to analyze.

i can’t get over how lou reed’s “perfect day” was such a fucking absolutely perfect song for that whole scene in episode 9 like… just all of it. i know that they didn’t play the whole song but the lyrics really match up so well if you listen to the entire thing.

truly that was ed’s perfect day, right? the kiss! they talk about their future and they plan their escape! and ed is so excited because for once the future looks new and bright and full of adventures much different than the ones he’s used to. and not only that but he can share them with someone he loves. someone cares for him and loves him as ed, he doesn’t have to be blackbeard anymore. you can see so much hope and excitement on his face.

“it’s such a perfect day, i’m glad i spent it with you”

then he’s waiting, and waiting, laying on the dock slowly realizing stede isn’t going to show up and you know he’s reflecting on his own insecurities, thinking stede abandoned him because he’s not good. after that tender moment on the beach, after the frantic excited plans, the person who made him feel like he was good and worthy and more than just the blackbeard persona that so many saw him as, the person who made him feel like he deserved good and fine things abandoned him. 

“you made me forget myself, i thought i was someone else, someone good”

and now he feels like all the good things stede brought out in him were a sham. they weren’t real. he’s not good.

and don’t even get me started on stede walking back into his old house over the lyrics “you’re going to reap just what you sow” and this might be reaching but the lyrics, “you just keep me hanging on,” kind of foreshadowing ed’s sadgirl breakup song where he’s singing about letting go. 

anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk feel free to reach out if u want to cry and analyze every detail about this show with me

[emypony]

It's the Honkai brainrot fellas

Specifically like. ER + Senti thoughts

Anyway i just. AUGHSHHSHS...

The. Like ok Fu Hua's shadow knight battlesuit looks. Well, it looks. Not bad or good it just IS THERE.

But the way they illustrated her in ER?? LIKE

Literally how can I put it into words that she looks like a little swallow?? Licherally just a little bird (yes i know her name means bird BUT STILL LIKE AUDJJSJS) she's so. Baby she deserves the world oh my god i am filled with SO MUCH EMOTION.

Not gonna touch on what the fuck TM is her outfit (i think it's cute but weird and i think we can all guess why lol Eden girl why did you do Hua like this...girl is flat)

Anyway 2nd part of my brainrot consists of Senti interactions with her and everyone else. Who cares why she's there or how did she even GET THERE but alright.

I do head canon that after the whole Herrscher of Domination chapter, Senti still holds a little bit of resentment for Fu Hua bc of that betrayal so 😔 hot girl summer is gonna have to wait until they reconcile. HOWEVER based on her bridge voice lines she does wish for Fu Hua to be happy so it's a back n forth tho i suppose most of the voice lines were written with some neutral (at least) to friendly relationship in mind.

THAT SAID... I think despite having conflicted thoughts about Sim Hua at first (before they realize who Senti actually is), she'd probably try to be cold and angry to keep up her appeal however she cannot fault Sim Hua for stuff she hasn't done 😞😭 like. Ok Hua is still Hua (as per Mei's comment) however she's still. YOU KNOW SHES THE. like she's just there she's trying her best and is more reserved and shy and doesn't speak her mind that much.

So I'd assume if a fight broke out (as we see in Elysium Everlasting, tho i suppose fight is a bit of a misunderstanding LMAO) Senti would - despite claiming to hate all things Fu Hua (her sim included) PROBABLY would threaten to beat the shit out of anyone who looks at Sim Hua the wrong way.

Kalpas better watch his fucking back. Like 🤨 yeah she 'dislikes' Sim Hua but that doesn't give anyone the right to say anything mean to her or they're gonna fucking get it !!!

I think she feels some sort of closeness w Sim Hua from the shared experience of like. (Well i know she's still been there for 50k years too but you know.) Being pretty new and despite having some experience, STILL being quite unsure where your place is or what you're supposed to do.

Her being fiercely protective of Sim Hua would be an interesting dynamic and I think that'd be really cute lol ((not a ship btw but u know just!! U look at a little scrunkly and u decide that u would kill for them that's pretty much Senti))

OH I ALMOST FORGOT - Sim Hua realizing (with some help from Elysia, Eden and Su what Senti is doing (but also she notices it herself bc Senti weirdly hovers around her and glares at Mobius even when she's just passing by) AND THEN U KNOW JUST!! FINDING OUT THAT SHES LIKE. A HERRSCHER HELP? literally her own future self but not really and also the thing that took away so many loved people in her life is now here in front of her (well it wasn't Senti but Herrschers by design, you get my point) and she's not doing anything wrong and it's conflicting (and sometimes a little heartwarming) and even fun sometimes if Sim Hua decides to reach out to Senti a few times and watch her fumble with words because she's not expecting it

Anyway let!! Them!! Interact!! And maybe let Senti bite Kalpas i think that'd also be fun. Beating him up in the Elsyian parking lot

Anyway wow i rambled a lot thanks for coming to my Ted talk ((pls engage with this bc I'd love to hear other ppls thoughts jdjdjhdshshh lmao)) anyway i could not resist keeping these thoughts to myself and you all get to hear it!!!!

[genshinobsession]

About the sentience au, i have no idea if u take request/ consider ideas so feel free to ignore

I got some thoughts so i hope u don't mind me ranting here hehe

But here's the thing, if the character somehow got to our world and found out that their life was created by someone for ppl to pass time and entertain themselves, what would be their reaction to the fandom (fics, ships, reader insert stuff, fanart and other fan made stuff), the creator (and them getting profit or being responsible for their suffering and creating them the way they are? Like flaws/ appearance/ personality n that shit), the gatcha, other characters that they knew, and just generally to the whole thing about them being a fictional character from a game in a different world

Thank you for coming to my ted talk <3

Sentience Au

characters included:

Diluc,Kaeya,Zhongli

(More is coming after, I just didn’t want there to be do much scrolling to get to the character you want)

Diluc

“So, what you’re saying is I’m from a video game, and I am a very desired character. And because of this many people draw pictures of me.” He asks, standing with his hand on his chin as he tried to process this.

You nodded and you got your phone and looked up a simple

“Diluc fanart”

And showed him the results.

He was a little put off now knowing that there were so many people watching him at all times. Not only were they were watching him but they liked him enough to draw him.

“Well, they all are very talented, but why is this one titled ‘Daddy Diluc’ with my shirt off?” He asked, and you snatched your phone from a him as quick as possible and closed out of whatever file or photo album he scrolled to.

With a nervous laugh you turned back to him hiding your phone, not wanting to admit to what he had seen.

“How about we look at some fanfics instead.” You suggested, changing tabs on your phone. You showed him the Tumblr thread as he began to scroll.

“And these are-?” He asked as he looked back at you.

“Stories about you and other characters, or somethings you and the person reading. Those are called self inserts.” You explained, he nodded, slightly understanding until he had scrolled to an NSFW story.

“What does NSFW stand for?” He asked, you shot up from your chair and smacked the phone out of his hand as quickly as possible.

“Okay maybe that’s not a good idea either.” You laughed nervously again as Diluc stared at you curiously. As far as he was concerned NSFW was just a couple of meaningless letters thrown together, but your reaction makes him think it was obviously more than that.

“How about I explain it this way. Because you’re a very desired character, many people are attracted to you,” You began. He nodded, understanding.

“myself included,” you mumbled, he didn’t catch it so you cleared your throat and continued.

“Many of them make art of you and other characters together and more often than not it’s because of a ship.”

Right at that moment you completely lost him. He looked at you confused,

“What do boats have anything to do with this?” He asked, his eyebrows were furrowed together as he tried to think of a logical way that a mode of water transport would have anything to do with him and other characters.

“No no, this kind of ship is a pairing of you and another character, like a relationSHIP.”

Diluc nodded in response,

“So wait, people pair me with other characters? Like who?” He asked, you sighed knowing the question was going to come up sooner or later.

“Well-“ you began as you listed off every person he had been shipped with. As you went on Dilucs face began to contort out of confusion and slight disgust.

“Just... don’t ask and we can both forget about it.” You suggested and he nodded in agreement.

“Gladly.”

Kaeya

“Well this is... interesting.” The blue haired man muttered as he had scrolled through the object that he held in his hands.

He had just seen it lying face up on the counter and his curiosity got the better of him.

And he was very surprised by what he saw.

Just, pages and pages and pages of him in different poses with different people, in varying levels of... intensity.

He was very confused at first, unsure of how to respond but as he wen through he realized each post had a red heart underneath it.

What could that possibly mean?

As he scrolled through he eventually got into the works of writing, all with the same ‘Kaeya x reader’ underneath their titles.

Before he could scroll any farther he heard the door creak open as you walked into the room with a warm joyous smile on your face.

Well until you saw Kaeya with your phone.

“Kaeya, why do you have my phone?” You asked, he looked down at the bright object then back at you.

“So that’s what it’s called, well you did just leave it open so I decided to have a look.” He admitted with a shrug.

You quickly snatched it from him and looked at it realizing he had been through all your posts that you had saved under the label ‘Kaeya’.

Your heart pace quickened out of embarrassment,

“How much did you see?” You asked, he chuckled and moved closer to you, he lightly lifted you chin so you’d look at him, he leaned into your ear and whispered,

“You seem to like me in some interesting positions.” He teased, and let go of your face.

You covered your face, not wanting to look at him.

“Oh, don’t be shy now, its quite cute that you like me that much. I find it, oddly endearing.” He admitted, patting your head lightly.

You finally took your head out of your hands as you looked up at him. He smiled at you as he leaned in close to your face yet again.

“Although, you should be more careful about having your ‘phone’ open to such a... suggestive image.” He teased yet again as you backed up from your face and walked out of the room.

You looked down at your phone which screen has been dimmed a bit, as you raised the brightness you saw a picture of Kaeya you definitely would not be able to unsee for a long while.

Zhongli

Zhongli is definitely a fan of stories,

But the stories he found were definitely not the ones he had in mind.

You didn’t know how to explain to Zhongli that he’s from a game and people all over the internet love and adore him, without showing him.

He doesn’t even know what technology is, let alone the fact people use it to create artwork of him.

“Traveler, I apologize if this is a bit odd, but I saw you looking at some paintings of me on your phone item. How do you have so many? Did you make them also yourself? You’re quite talented if so.” He asked, as you looked from him, to your phone, then back up to him.

He was just patiently standing infront of you, waiting for an answer.

You sighed slightly as you put down whatever you were doing and grabbed your phone.

“Oh, I’m sorry, was that not something I was supposed to bring up?” He asked, confused by your reaction.

You shook your head as you patted the spot next to you, gesturing for him to sit down next to him.

“No no, you were going to find out sooner or later.” You said as he politely sat down next to you and faced you, ready to listen to whatever story or explanation you were going to give him.

As you explained he asked a few questions, which you answered as best you could.

After you explained how the world Zhongli came from was not exactly real, he was just a character in a video game, and because of that, many people around the world love him and make things to show their love and appreciation for him.

He nodded, trying to understand,

“Well that’s definitely not what I expected. I’ve always had some sort of following but this, admittedly was not what I expected. So all of these people know about Rex Lapis?” He asked, to which you nodded in response.

“I see, well. There’s not much I can to about it now I suppose.” He said, turning back to you with a slight sigh. All the effort putting into hiding and it was, somewhat for nothing.

Liyue was going to have to learn how to be on their own regardless, so leaving wasn’t going to affect them to much, which was comforting to him.

“Thank you, traveler, for answering my question. I understand it was probably hard to explain this to me but I believe I understand now.” He thanked, you nodded accepting it and smiled at him.

However, your smile faltered when you saw Zhongli so lost in thought. You supposed it was because he basically left behind the only thing he’s every known.

You lightly put your hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Hey, Why don’t we make some tea, I feel like you’d want to try these flavours.” You said, as he looked back over to you, he recognized this as a way to cheer him up and appreciated it.

“That would be wonderful.”

(Next part coming out is ‘they escape Part 2 pocket edition’)

-Birdy

[graphite1127]

hey. HEY! make that k-pop post you want to do!

I am so glad you asked!

I like k-pop, and I’m tired of pretending I don’t. I recognize that there are problems within the community, but I want to get it off my chest that I still enjoy it as a genre. I say this because it’s literally the only “fandom” I’m a part of that I’m not open about.

It’s hard to put into words, but I’m going to try. Because I think I know why I never talk about it as one of my interests, and it has everything to do with the obvious:

- Some fans are insane (and not just about shipping real people)

- The unrealistic beauty standards are always right in your face

- Idols are pushed to the point of developing eating disorders among other things; their lives are very restricted.

These are serious problems. They can’t be ignored and brushed aside, so when you say you like k-pop, you risk others assuming that you condone all the bad stuff that comes with it. There’s a negative stigma.

This is not a post apologizing for other people’s behavior. If anything, I’m trying to call it out. Like maybe if I bring attention to what the actual problem is, we can help fix it.

I was very hesitant to get into k-pop. When I was being introduced, it was via someone I barely knew who was obsessive in a way that made me uncomfortable. I thought, “This community is not okay. K-pop is a nightmare.”

But much later, when my sister got into it, I backtracked and thought to myself, “You know, I’ve been a part of fanbases that are less than ideal. Maybe I’ll just check it out and it won’t be that bad.” And it really wasn’t.

There was so much variety within the music. The music videos were so much more interesting (I never watched mv’s that much before because they seemed really dull, but now I love them). The groups dance as well as sing. And there’s overall just so much content. It gave me more entertainment that actually made me happy.

I think that’s the part of it that I’m trying to spread to others. The music itself and the group members are overall very uplifting! And I found myself getting more and more into it as time went on. The more you watch/listen, the more you enjoy and all that. Even my mom really enjoys it, and it’s given us more to talk about.

And if k-pop just isn’t something that piqued your interest? For no particular reason? That’s okay! This post isn’t to pressure you to suddenly enjoy it; I’m mostly just ranting with no direction.

Maybe this is a cry for help. Like, if better people become involved with it, we can lessen the toxicity? Fuck if I know. Again, this is a directionless rant. There is no clear purpose. I tend to ramble and I’m sorry. Maybe someone else can put it into better words instead of sounding like a 12-year-old defending pewdiepie or some shit.

But yeah, if you were on the fence about it and don’t know where to start, I’ll list a bunch of stuff in a bit.

Bottom line: Please acknowledge the problems within the k-pop community. They need to be addressed and fixed. Also please understand where the problems stem from.

The problem isn’t this:

It’s this:

Don’t be a jerk! Enjoy stuff, but not at the expense of others - i.e. working idols to the brink of exhaustion, obsessing over them, not letting them live their own lives, sending death threats and hate comments, bashing others because you really like one group in particular. Cause that shit is insane and though I know for certain the majority are good people, the bad ones stick out like a sore thumb and leave a much greater impact.

Be one of the good ones! There’s lots of genres of k-pop, so here’s some stuff that I personally enjoy if you’re interested:

No Rules - TXT (check out the dance practice for this one too if you want) This one’s been in my head all week. It’s your average pop song but it is so so catchy.

God’s Menu - Stray Kids rap/hip hop, it goes hard, one of my favorites

Singularity - V This is actually by BTS, but it’s a solo song by V. It has an R&B vibe to it if you’re into that *chef’s kiss*

Dumb Dumb - Red Velvet Their music videos are always some of my favorites.

K.O. - SF9 The dance practice for this one is one of the best I have ever seen. It’s what I’ve linked. Right off the bat, they start with this crazy pinwheel thing. It’s really neat.

Shoot Me- Day6 has an alternative rock feel to it. This group actually plays instruments. They’re a band-band.

Hot Sauce - NCT Dream This one has a latin pop vibe to it, very fun and upbeat

Other favorites of mine:

-Humph! by Pentagon

-Mansae by Seventeen

-Drunk-Dazed by Enhypen

-Awkward Silence by Stray Kids

-Ugh! by BTS

-Mic Drop also by BTS

-Ko Ko Bop by EXO

-Make a Wish by NCT U

-Married to the Music by SHINee

-We Do by SuperM

-Very Good by Block B

(Among many others)

Uh, so yeah. I’m not sure where else to go with this. I just have a lot of feelings and I don’t know how else to share them. Thank you for coming to my ted talk. Send tweet.

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

ok bhah ch1 reread thought dump lets goooo

@youngbloodbuzz  @romanitwontletmetagyouuuu??? thank u for writing this. in return I gift u this lightly unhinged commentary

oh the opening quote “Do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing? The longing for home?” violence

lmao ok I started this ages ago and then got distracted for a week because that’s just who I am as a person lets try that again

eddie n his glowing glasses nice we love a canon nod

ok I remember getting really emotional reading the chapter where Dani’s car died bc of what it represented to her n now I’m being reminded of it all again with the ‘poor little car’ comment oh dear we’re like 2 paragraphs in and I’m already compromised

the wavering reflection in the water in her hands..... Dani posessed by the ghost of comphet..... I am Drawing Conclusions

eddie “we can hang out more” dani “aha wouldn’t that be neat”

god the prom photo... remembering Dani’s meltdown at the prom bc she missed Jamie... I’m dying Jack I’m dying

lil palm kiss... I know u will not ever love hm that way Dani but fuck I’m a sucker for a palm kiss

lil nerd ass w her folder tabs I love her

god the tone of this is so comforting like I can just hang out n imagine each scene progressing so naturally. wish I did not have to suffer emotionally at the same time but at least it’s a smooth read

Dani feeling like an invader amongst all the physical representations of her relationship w eddie BABY U DON’T HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY STOP LETTING OTHER PEOPLE INFLUENCE UR LIFE AND RUIN UR HAPPINESS

“Hannah Grose, seamlessly elegant” yes

Hannah: congrats on ur engagement. Dani, with tears in her eyes: thank

Dani relaxing when they’re talking about teaching pls I love her love for it so much

Dani at the blackboard with the “Miss, Ms?” confusion now I am thinking about the Ted Moseby professor/proffessor scene. HIMYM my beloved

mikeyyyy my boy

the image of Dani w chalk dust on her skirt is v endearing.

oooh the library trip gay foreshadowing yes

wait the silver stars on his backpack......... cup of stars crying time

Mikey correcting her on his name when she was the one to give him the nickname in the first place... feeling some kind of way

Dani fostering the talents she sees in her kids is so sweet and mikey shy lil math genuis is also so sweet pls i love this duo

i do wonder if part of her is like I know a Mikey Taylor but I literally refuse to believe it is the same one bc his sister broke my heart and we are absolutely not in the business of confronting hard feelings in this house!!

keys on a lanyard... ok lesbian

“You’re still here?” the love I have for canon lines being used when I can hear them being said in my head

awww bonding over Wonder Woman. cute!!!! When Dani becomes Mikey’s official second mum (everyone be quiet I am manifesting) my heart will explode

eddie ur really just gonna rock up and toot at her. jail for 1000 years

ooohhh Dani is Realising who the sister is. honey you got a big storm comin. oof (the ‘wonder woman punching stars out of her foes” to “dani feeling like she’s just recieved a blow to the ribs.” the cinnamontography). aw baby :(

“Jamie. Jamie, here. Jamie, home.” please i am thinking about her last letter and I am not strong enough

“Somehow Eddie didn’t notice.” sum up a relationship in a sentence

“Jamie would appear, as if summoned by the gravity of Dani’s pounding heart” fuck this hits on so many levels I need to go think about my life for 45mins

CARSON MY BOY. in his studded leather. a fashionable gay never loses.

I looove how soft n caring Dani n Carson are with each other thank gods she has him.

DID WE EVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN CARSON AND JASON MY SPIDEY SENSES ARE STILL TINGLING FROM READING THIS THE FIRST TIME

god this post is already so long n I’m only halfway through why do I have so many silly thoughts

god just the... expectations of affection from her by eddie w that placating cheek kiss she gives him is like... I cannot imagine Jamie ever asking that from her in the same way even when they are in a relationship!!! and it’s not even wrong of him to do that??? but it’s just a lot to think about the kind of person Dani makes herself to be to stay with him vs the kind of person Jamie lets her be by not expecting anything of her. they’re such opposites

dani not even feeling at home in her own (former) home pls when is she going to find a soft place to land (it’s also making me think v hard about the title like... the haunting of Dani and Jamie’s relationship (and what that represents for Dani) on Dani’s whole life and Jamie coming home and bringing that to Dani’s doorstep. resurecting a ghost so to speak........ too many homes to think about. I don’t know if I fully understand but I am Thinking)

dani and her inhaler... asthmatic bitches represent

oh my god not the box of memories. been trying to erase that from my own for weeks now let me live

ooh the line about her feeling like an archaeologist at the start of this section and then her ‘exhuming the past’ w the photos of her n Jamie i love a consistent narrative.

THE MIXTAPE. THE MIXTAPE. is there a playlist for this chapter I would like to take that aural journey

oh no i cannot remember where the flower comes from but aahhh this box of memories pain.

this description of carson in a tight white undershirt tucked into his jeans makes me think of freddie mercury. didn’t mean to make you cry etc

lmao Dani trying to get info from Judy abt Jamie in a roundabout way... international superspy she is not

Dani entirely uncomfy in church... i feel it. godd the repression of it all w the movie and the feelings and the Jamie-influence on the feelings my heart hurts.

God knowing how much Judy loves her but the weight of that love also stifling her... pain

they’ve really got her all shacked up w a house and a husband and a kid on the way can we let the girl be a lesbian in peace (also lowkey hoping Dani gets some time on her own at some point no Eddie no Jamie no weight of expectations pls she needs it we all need it)

the thread of Dani refusing to do things for herself in order to make other people happy throughout this entire piece hits so fucking close to home and is entirely heartbreaking to read thank you

jamiiiiieeeeeeeee

Jamie: appears. Dani: every single emotion all at once

Judy and her girls back together is v sweet even if Dani is dying inside at it all

“Jamie only had eyes for Dani.” Again, sum up a relationship in a sentence.

What do you even say to a girl who *the sky goes dark as i attempt to even summarise a fraction of their relationship*. Apparently the answer is “Jamie. Hi.”

TWO MONTHS JAMIE TAYLOR. CRIMES

It’s ahh. fairly entertaining to be going through Dani’s emotional journey alongside her and knowing that Jamie is also Going Through It on some level but having 0 insights to it bc she keeps her emotions so in check.

oooh how much of a gut punch is this engagement revelation for Jamie??? like on some level I’m sure she always knew this was coming but I’m sure another part of her still desperately hoped one day Dani would choose her. god I would kill for Jamie’s POV in this scene

Jamie’s scarrrr. Literally Dani’s impact

oh fucking hell that moment of like... familiarity and almost a coming home for Dani when Judy is talking and she meets Jamie’s eyes... she really was entirely screwed from that moment on huh.

oof god this is a hell of an opening chapter lets see if my attention span will let me continue this journey (also @ myself reminder to read this all in chronological order one day for a real nice session of emotional destruction)

[lovenona]

me, waking up: oh another day. then, after reading your answer: HOLY SHIT. guess i'm now the loving ramble enabler (LRE?). and DO NOT apologize for being passionate about smt that makes you happy you lovely human being that u are! hearing you ramble (how many times will i use this word idek) about the creation process made my day dammit! and i can assure you, reading about it is as good as reading the masterpiece itself, especially considering how good you are at manifesting the vibes (tm) (pt1)

(pt 2 bc word count sucks) how did you first get interested in pirate history? (if you don't mind me asking ofc) *slides 15 bucks* please, be my guest. do tell us more about the writing/revision process. sincerely, a genuinely interested person currently wondering why the fuck tumblr won't let her do a paragraph break. have a lovely night/day!

bestie ur rly enabling me 😭 ur so sweet skSJKAJSk i will tell u so much under this god damn cut 

first because this is the easy response: how did u get interested in pirate history????

short answer: keira knightley in pirates of the caribbean BYE 💀

long answer: it’s basically a mix of those movies being a centerpiece of my childhood and me just thinking pirates are cool SKJSKAj i’m very much into history n my uni had a course on ‘history of pirates’ last spring so i took it as smth to do during quarantine and i ended up really loving it !!! i’m actually workin on historical fiction short story abt anne bonny and mary read rn which required me to do a lot more research on pirates (under the black flag by david cordingly is a very good book on piracy!) and my research has been very interesting just in general and for writing the odyssey – i've incorporated little historical tidbits here n there to add to the world-building :’)

next: ur writing process

ok so let’s go cray besties i’m going to tell u abt the life of adele writing the odyssey!!!! i’ll try talking abt this in some semblance of a logical step-by-step

1. manifesting vibes + outline

i talked abt this last time but manifesting the vibes is very important ! the first things i like to do when getting ready to write a new chapter is define the setting – place(s), weather, time, and general mood 

while i have a pretty good idea of how many chapters it will be and where the odyssey ends, i usually don’t plan a chapter in super great detail until it’s time to sit down n write it. i have general points of people to include + things that would be important to the plot + vibes i hope to include (parts 6 and 7 r gonna SLAP!!), but these never get fleshed out until it’s Time. my outlines are therefore usually not very detailed because i like to give the odyssey room to do its own thing – i find it important that the story takes its time and we get to the important stuff whenever it wants us to. an outline will usually b something like, in the case of the furies call part 2: 

find megumi, talk abt his role in the zenin clan – naoya arrives on shore and shit hits the fan – run to find mai, maki fights her father – fight between naoya and todou – todou dies because you can’t kill naoya – sukuna rescues reader and it ends

after i have smth that looks like this as well as a decently clear idea of how everything will look and feel we get started!!

2. writing (pain)

arguably the worst stage for any creator! writing! at this point i genuinely just let go and let god tbh. i have no idea how i do things at this stage other than see how many commas + dumb poetic phrases i can include SKKSJKA – sometimes things just happen and it’s really cool!! for example in part 4 i didn’t know the guns warehouse was going to blow up until i was writing it and it just happened 

i do have a set quota of words i meet every time i sit down to write so that i A. feel accomplished and happy when i'm done, even if it sucks and B. don’t get burnout and start hating what i do. this stage is always difficult because writing is just hard and takes a lot of brainpower and self-discipline </3

i wld say the hardest part is that i run the risk of getting very overwhelmed – by the complexities of the plot, by how fucking long it takes me to write, by how much work writing itself is ! for example, abt 7k or so into part 5 i started having the worst existential dread when i realized that this chapter was not even halfway done and i wld have to surpass 15k before it was (at the time of writing this, part 5 is 16.3 💀) it just gets hard sometimes to overcome that and maintain the motivation to keep going and know that everything will be fine when it’s done – thankfully everyone here is so patient and sweet so it makes me feel better when i'm taking forever and/or need time off <333

basically, as always, the pain of writing is just having to write and come to terms with the fact no one else is going to manifest it for u. and have fun too!! writing is only fun when ur writing what u think is cool 

3. revision (less pain)

one of the fun stages, but also the point when i start to become impatient! writing an odyssey chapter can easily take 2.5-3 weeks even if i'm writing my quota every single day (part 5 took roughly 3 weeks of writing every god damn afternoon) and after that i spend another few weeks just going back and rereading/fixing everything. 

i basically start by rereading sections of the chapter to change sentence structure, grammar, dialogue, or whatever else i don’t like – sometimes sentences sound stupid or certain things don’t make a whole lot of sense so i like to go back and polish up! for example i changed the arrival of maki/mai/nobara in furies call part 1 about ten times before i decided it made sense to me

this step can be horrendous because i'll often write things really shitty in the first draft with a “i’ll come back to this later” mindset and then get mad at myself later for being a hoe <//3

in essence, i'm a horrible perfectionist so i will usually reread everything and change or add things multiple times before i think i'm finally ready to share. most of the time, as the chapter gets closer and closer to completion i become more and more hyper-fixated on it – i’ll start spending almost all of my free time just rereading and looking for minor fixes or places that don’t vibe as well. 

at the end of this step, my favorite thing to do before i queue the chapter up to post is sit down and just read the entire thing once or twice and give it one last kiss before i send her off into the world <3

so anyway there’s my ted talk of how i usually make the odyssey ! i vibe, write, revise n take forever to do all three steps but that’s just part of the fun! thank u for tuning in if u have any other questions u wld like me to overshare on i am more than happy to talk abt it :’)

[venusiangguk]

yalll i just had to say people stop asking for part 2 of icrlr! ik i loved it too like one of my top fanfic stories I have ever read(and ive been reading fanfic since I was like 15 im old now dont ask lmao) so ive read a lot!! i usually like to edge myself with fics that im obsessed with (rn its arranged by obiwrites and im palpitating 24/7 just thinking about it) so actually im very glad ms stella made it a one shot, a clean break, an open ended sort of ending that is just perfect for that type of story imo doing a part 2 would just drag it out, I think thats where the part of that couple's story end at least the part in this amazing author's brain, i once read a quote saying that dont assume your readers are dumb, and so with that lets exercise our creative juices and device our own continuations about them in our head, I think thats ultimately where they should live from now on. ICRLR's impact lies greatly on that iconic ending so please lets just leave it at that pls. Thank you for coming to my ted talk 😌 and also cant believe I missed your selfie!!! Im that nosy type of reader who always wonders how my fave authors day was, how they like their eggs in the morning, how can they live their life like that not knowing theyve given me this hell from their fics 😭 so im crushed!! but its ok ik the internet is pretty crazy youre so generous already by posting that even for a brief amount of time, also lets respect that guys lets not save her pics, like please thats really foul me thinks. Ok thats it really this hag is bowing out fr this time ive already said my peace 🤭🥰

i think this way too!! like i’m genuinely think if i were to do anything else with icrlr it would be too much , like the fic was so much already LMAO but thank u for having my back 😤 icrlr really is up to interpretation for the reader bc no ending in would have picked would have made everyone happy

[mcnamaste]

Task 001: Character Playlist.

Another case of Affluenza - a Dylan McNamara playlist

Snippets of Lyrics below:

Side A + Dylan’s vibe 

1. all in my head (flex) - Fifth Harmony feat. Fetty Wap

Flex, time to impress Come and climb in my bed Don't be shy, do your thing It's all in my head

fun fact - the original song that they sampled this chorus from actually goes like this: 

Girl flex, time to have sex Long time yuh have di rude bwoy yah a sweat Girl, flex time to have sex Look how long yuh have di rude bwoy a sweat

thanks for coming to my ted talk

2. ain’t my fault - zara larsson 

It ain't my fault you keep turnin' me on It ain't my fault you got, got me so gone It ain't my fault I'm not leavin' alone It ain't my fault you keep turnin' me on I can't talk right now I'm lookin' and I like what I'm seein' Got me feelin' kinda shocked right now Couldn't stop right now Even if I wanted, gotta get it, get it, get it, when it's hot right now Oh my god, what is this? Want you all in my business Baby, I insist Please don't blame me for whatever happens next

3. sugar - Maroon 5

I'm hurting baby, I'm broken down I need your loving, loving I need it now When I'm without you, I'm something weak You got me begging, begging I'm on my knees

4. stupid love - Lady Gaga

You're the one that I've been waiting for Gotta quit this cryin', nobody's gonna Heal me if I don't open the door Kinda hard to believe, gotta have faith in me

 5. desperado - Rihanna 

If you want, we can be runaways Running from any sight of love Yeah, yeah, there ain’t nothin' There ain't nothin' here for me There ain't nothin' here for me anymore But I don't wanna be alone

6. pray for me - The Weeknd, Kendrick Lamar

I'm always ready for a war again Go down that road again It's all the same I'm always ready to take a life again You know I'll ride again It's all the same (Ooh, ooh, ooh) Tell me who's gon' save me from myself When this life is all I know Tell me who's gon' save me from this hell Without you, I'm all alone

Who gon' pray for me? Take my pain for me? Save my soul for me? 'Cause I'm alone, you see If I'm gon' die for you If I'm gon' kill for you Then I spilled this blood for you, hey

7. 24k magic - Bruno Mars Pop pop, it's show time (Show time) Show time (Show time) Guess who's back again? Oh they don't know? (Go on tell 'em) Oh they don't know? (Go on tell 'em) I bet they know soon as we walk in (Showin' up) Wearing Cuban links (ya) Designer minks (ya) Inglewood's finest shoes (Whoop, whoop) Don't look too hard Might hurt ya'self Known to give the color red the blues

Ooh shit, I'm a dangerous man with some money in my pocket (Keep up) So many pretty girls around me and they waking up the rocket (Keep up) Why you mad? Fix ya face Ain't my fault y'all be jocking (Keep up)

8. bed - J. Holiday 

Wanna put my fingers through your hair Wrap me up in your legs And love you till your eyes roll back I'm tryna put you to bed, bed, bed I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed Then I'mma rock ya body Turn you over Love is war, I'm your soldier Touchin' you like it's our first time I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed I'mma put you to bed, bed, bed

9. don’t judge me - Janelle Monáe

Even though you tell me you love me I'm afraid that you just love my disguise Taste my fears and light your candle to my raging fire Of broken desire

But don't judge me I know I got issues, but they drown when I kiss you Don't judge me Baptize me with ocean, recognize my devotion

10. the greatest - Sia 

I'm free to be the greatest, I'm alive I'm free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest The greatest, the greatest alive

11. love in this club - Usher feat. Young Jeezy 

You say you're searching for somebody that'll take you out and do you right Well, come here, baby and let daddy show you what it feel like You know all you got to do is tell me what you sipping on And I promise that I'm gonna keep it coming all night long

12. u don't have to call - Usher

Aw, girl, your face is saying, "Why?" Tears in eyes Should've been more smart about it Should've cherished me, listening to friends Now it's the end And again, no story can end without it

Side B + Annalise Young (Infidelity & Divorce)

1. forgive me - Chloe x Halle

Baby, what you think this is? Why you wanna plead the fifth? You ain't gotta tell me what it is 'Cause I saw the messages You must got me fucked up You must got me fucked up I think I had enough

So forgive me, forgive me I been goin' too hard in your city So forgive me 'cause I'm not teary Best believe I'll move onto better things

2. makes me wonder - Maroon 5

Wake up, blood-shot eye Struggle to memorize The way it felt between your thighs Pleasure that made you cry It feels so good to be bad Not worth the aftermath, after that, after that Try to get you back

I still don't have a reason And you don't have the time And it really makes me wonder if I ever gave a fuck about you

3. maps - Maroon 5 

I miss the taste of a sweeter life I miss the conversation I'm searching for a song tonight I'm changing all of the stations I like to think that we had it all We drew a map to a better place But on that road I took a fall Oh, baby, why did you run away?

I was there for you In your darkest times I was there for you In your darkest night

But I wonder, where were you? When I was at my worst Down on my knees And you said you had my back So I wonder, where were you?

4. mend this love - Vaults

Take me from the edge Steal a step and lead me back from harm Hold it in your hand Crush it into crumbs like nothing's wrong

And tell me "right what you wanna know? Take what you wanna hide It's too late to mend this love" And tell me "go where you wanna go Break what you never had It's too late to mend this love"

5. wicked game - Chris Isaak 

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you It's strange what desire will make foolish people do I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No, I don't wanna fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)

6. love’s divine - Seal

Then the rainstorm came over me And I felt my spirit break I had lost all of my belief, you see And realized my mistake But time threw a prayer to me And all around me became stil

7. beautiful mistakes - Maroon 5 & Megan Thee Stallion

It's beautiful, it's bittersweet You're like a broken home to me I take a shot of memories And black out like an empty street I fill my days with the way you walk And fill my nights with broken dreams I make up lies inside my head Like one day you'll come back to me

8. i’m not the only one - Sam Smith feat. A$AP Rocky

You and me, we made a vow For better or for worse I can't believe you let me down But the proof's in the way it hurts For months on end I've had my doubts Denying every tear I wish this would be over now But I know that I still need you here

You say I'm crazy 'Cause you don't think I know what you've done But when you call me baby I know I'm not the only one

9. perfect illusion - Lady Gaga

I don't need eyes to see I felt you touchin' me High like amphetamine Maybe you're just a dream That's what it means to crush Now that I'm wakin' up I still feel the blow But at least now I know

It wasn't love, it wasn't love It was a perfect illusion (Perfect illusion) Mistaken for love, it wasn't love It was a perfect illusion (Perfect illusion)

10. don’t walk away - John Legend feat. Koffee

We can't go out like this It's just the two of us We should be making up We could be making love Didn't  used to talk like this Now you say you're giving up Took too much to build this house I don't wanna sit and watch it burn down I ain't leaving, I ain't leaving, I ain't leaving, I ain't giving you space I will not be replaced I don't wanna save face Don't leave me open, leave me open, leave me open, leave me open like that Whatever love we had We need to get it back

11. if I could have you back - Aly & AJ 

On the subject of you being gone forever I still can't believe it, I can't see it I should just stop counting days On the subject of the future Wouldn't it be nice to leave it open ended And pretend it could go either way

If I could have you back again I'd think about it once or twice, I guess If I could have you back I'd reconsider, maybe I'd say yes On the other hand, it would be better to have a life Without the constant indecision over If I could have you back If I could have you back

12. fairplay - Kiana Ledé

I think it's kind of funny You could say you love me Turn around and play me, yeah I think it's kind of funny You say things you don't mean Underestimate me, yeah

I have always done right by you Said you're never going to lie, liar Shit gon' come around full cycle I flip the script on you

Tell me why you mad Tell me why you're hurt Bet you didn't think that the tables would turn You gon' fuck around I'ma do the same How you like that karma? How you like that karma? Yeah, that's just fair play

Bonus: 

busted - The Isley Brothers feat. JS 

Busted, It's 2 o' damn clock in the morning, where you been? (Baby didn't you get my 2-way I was with my girlfriend) You are lyin', I called Kiesha and Tanya And they were both at home (But I didn't say them though) Well they're the only friends I know Girl you better (Wait before you get all upset here's the truth) Talk to me (I was with my girl when she got some bad news) And...? (Her man cheated, had her upset and confused) But baby what's that got to do With you coming in at 2? (I'm telling you, now she was so upset She asked me to stay with her) Well why didn't your ass just pick up the phone and call me? (I was gonna do that but it slipped my mind I'm sorry) (But I'm telling you the truth) Yeah, well I got something for you... Tell me what's her name? (Sharon) Where does she live? (Uuummm...) Her man's name? (Billy) She got kids? (I think one or two) She got kids? (Baby yes, no) That's one thing I got to know How the hell is she your friend If you don't know if she got kids?

[ano-po]

Genders - identity, preference, and views

(and my important advise to y'all for the sake of the next generation)

<<a continuation from 4Genders of the Philippines social rant>>

People without imagination will always close humanity into cleancut corners. They don't know the infinite possibilities of gender and sexuality. It's not black and white, it's a goddamn rainbow and fuck it's the only perfect analogy I can think of. Think of it as a color's hexaname. #000000 is one common color (white) but it can be #153444, and wait, you can put letters there? What kind of color is #ff99cc? Hella, it's a beautiful color.

I can be born a girl, want to be a boy, but still have a relationship with a guy and be his versatile top. I can be a transwoman who likes another transwoman and call myself a lesbian. I can be a transguy and be Moonbyul's pastel bottom. I can be genderfluid; have gender when I have mood or have none when I'm mixing chemicals. I can act like a diety and think gender and sexuality is beyond me. I can be a muscular witchboy who will fall inlove whoever is kind enough to help my oldhag form.

It's all kinds of infinite combinations, and if you thought you have figured out all combinations, another variable comes in. And you can have your own combination, but why stick to one color? You are allowed to change it time to time. What's stopping you? Media? Religion? Abusive rondos at night? People who uses community to cater to capitalism? The soviet? JK Rowling?

Maybe. Well, community is a strong force.

BUT SHOULD THAT STOP YOU??!?!

In the first place, they don't have to know, (or if u want them to know, that's okay. Practice Arnis first so you can force them into accepting you. Bigots be hard to drill). Throw in your fashion, have crush, make your own witchraft aesthetic or stay catholic or muslim. Who has the say, right? If there are a lot of books with different stories, so can you be an individual with different genre in every decade. Society can eat itself, oh and also... We have mind dimensions.

But what if they don't want to see we exists?

Well child. If we want to make a change, we can be agressive about it, but this century isn't really a forgiving and advance one. However, you know that our generation knows better. Someday we will be the adults of the century, and it is our job to be more open, to not let the younger generation hurt the same way we did. So what you can do now is to make sure you do not carry any of this timeline's bigotry. If society now doesn't want to see us, then we shouldn't see them, too. We shouldn't let them win in our minds. Filter them out. Only bring in positivity. Give them less power in the future. Fuck JK Rowling. Act as if people like her never existed. They're in the wrong side of history and they will be forgotten, and the effort is all in you.

Don't let them taint your mind dimension.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[jedivszombie]

HI! For f1 asks - 5 (+9 if you could give me some recs), 12, 13, 23, 28, 32, 33 sorry if its kinda a lot you dont have to answer all of them!!!

HI ANONYMOOSE! Thank you for the ask, I hope you see my answers and I apologise for replying a few days late! I once again ended up writing essays so you will find my answers under the cut! I hope you enjoy them!

it’s hump day: let’s talk about F1 baybee

5. Are there any movies or documentaries you would recommend to understand F1 better?

So I actually have not watched loads of F1 films or documentaries but I have watched a few that I think give an interesting and varied perspective on some things. 

Grand Prix (1966), this is a film and a very good film at that! It has a lot of drivers from that era who make cameos and comprise the background drivers - so it’s really cool to see them. The story is interesting and the direction and cinematography is top notch! It gives you a really good idea of what older cars and circuits and safety used to be like, albeit in a dramatised way. There are also a lot of nods to how teams like Ferrari etc used to be at the time. 

Race to Perfection (2020), this is a recent documentary mini series that is made up of a bunch of different episodes that cover different aspects of F1 and its history. There’s stuff about how the cars have developed since the 50s, there’s episodes about Schumi and Ayrton and all sorts. Also a lot of ex drivers and people who were involved with teams are interviewed so it’s interesting to hear from them about how situations unfolded or to reflect on some of their glory days. It is worth mentioning though that some of the people being interviewed have a vested interest in coming across a certain way (I’m looking at you Ron), or are choosing to remember things in a certain way. BUT it’s a great starting point for a good overview of different aspects of the sport and how it has evolved. 

Grand Prix Driver (2018), is a really good insight to McLaren starting to rebuild under Zak Brown. It follows Fernando and Stoffel during the 2017 season and gives some interesting insight to how one of the most successful and well known teams in the sport started to change their image and rebuild to how we know them now. 

I would also recommend trying to watch as many Ted’s Notebooks and Weekend Debriefs as you can find - Ted Kravitz hosts both of these shows and they cover a lot of interesting aspects from races that have happened and explain a lot of technical and complex concepts in a really accessible way. They talk about the drivers abilities, the way the cars are developing, the politics of the sport and other very interesting and key aspects of F1 to be aware of if you would like a broader understanding of the sport outside of just the racing and drivers personalities. 

There are definitely loads more documentaries and things you can watch but these are the ones I have personally watched and enjoyed. I have a few more on my list that I would like to watch, such as Grand Prix: The Killer Years and the McLaren doc about Bruce McLaren. 

9. Could you recommend anyone?

I think this is related to F1 YouTubers? I pretty much only follow Chainbear on YouTube in terms of F1 YouTubers. Out of Context F1 has a lot of good little clips and snippets of older footage from drivers - a lot of it is more on the meme side/funnier side but there are sometimes interesting clips from interviews there as well. 

The other F1 YouTube content I look at is the team’s socials or the stuff from F1 itself and older interviews/features with drivers etc that I can find. 

12. Which was the first driver you supported?

The first driver I supported was Schumi - my Dad is a MASSIVE Schumi fan and I have been watching since I was very very small and Schumi was very much involved and on a climb upwards. 

The first driver I actually chose to support myself was Fernando Alonso, it was my minor act of rebellion when I was a child. I still loved Schumi of course but for some reason I latched onto my man Flonso. I also absolutely loved Jenson too, but again so did my entire family. But those are the first three that I supported and remember supporting. 

13. Which was the first team you supported?

Ferrari baybee! Once you’re in, you can never leave!

The first team I chose to support was BAR Honda though - thank u Jenson.

23. Is there a driver that you think is underrated?

I have written a very long answer to this question here. 

28. Do you have a least favourite team? Which one and why?

Yes I do have a least favourite team. Red Bull is my least favourite team. I mean no shade to the engineers and mechanics and people working for the team because they are doing their jobs and doing their best. BUT I do not like their management in the slightest my god. I could rant about Red Bull for days but my main issue is the extremely toxic duo of Christian Horner and Helmut Marko. A lot of people talk extensively about the long list of Red Bull Juniors they have fucked over or passed over for the next big thing or not given proper chances to or actively fucked over (e.g. Buemi, Hartley, Sainz Jr, Gasly, Albon). But really you only have to look at the insane treatment that Jean-Eric Vergne and Daniil Kvyat endured during their time there. JEV was hospitalised trying to keep his weight down. Marko actively trashed him in the press and said he was lazy. There were jokes and comments about Daniil being on ‘shoelace watch’ after his demotion from Red Bull. Sure, if they drop you from the F1 team they will usually still sponsor you in your other series or help you find somewhere to land or even keep you on as a development/test/sim driver but at what cost? 

I know it’s F1 and I know the sport is brutal and to an extent there is always someone getting fucked over in teams or by the sport. I don’t expect drivers to be coddled but I do think more should be discussed about drivers mental health and the ways in which teams either help or do not help with that. Personally I would rather the guys behind the wheels of the super fast cars are actually feeling comfortable in their position in the sport and not super desperate because that’s hella dangerous for them and everyone else on track. BUT with Red Bull it’s more than a worrying pattern, it speaks to an entire culture and is downright neglectful at best and abusive at worst. 

Also fuck Haas, they fall under a similar toxic culture from management in my opinion. 

32. Which one is your favourite team principle and why?

I wrote my answer out in a previous ask here.

But I also just wanna do an honourable shout out to my man Franz Tost, he’s been putting in the work with the Red Bull Juniors and managing to nurture quite a few of them to success over the past decade and keeping a rather chaotic ship running - sure he’s not perfect but he’s been doing a pretty dope job, their treatment of Daniil aside.

33. Do you have a favourite team principle duo or ship?

I also answered this question here.

[modern-oedipus]

Covid Vent

No one: Nila, who goes out maybe once in a month due to covid: *listens to coffee shop sounds in youtube to get in mood*  It’s really hard to maintain social isolation now that it has been 5 months. But the cases are going up and up and up, hitting my friends and their families. I myself had to split houses with my mother because she had covid cases in her work place. I don’t think I’d isolate myself this much if I wasn’t in the risk group, but I am. Knowing that I am most likely to go to intensive care and experience the trouble breathing again like I did during the asthma treatment is not good. The potential permanent damage on lungs, for someone like me whose lungs are already more prone to sickness compared to healthy people, is also a big no, considering that I’m only in my early twenties and if everything goes well and I live a normal life I’d live around 50 more years.  50 more years with a disability or isolating myself at home? Isolation, obviously. But this pandemic doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. I am only indoors because both my internships are online & college hasn’t started yet. I know that I’ll eventually have to go out if my college doesn’t switch to online education. It doesn’t scare me at all, though, I am not like, “anxious”. I’m concerned, disturbed, alert, but not in a paranoid anxiety. If I end up catching covid, I’m at least mentally prepared to deal with it. I’m also eating healthy and exercising and don’t really have health problems except for that past-lung-treatments that more or less put me to a risk group (risky enough to concern me, even though I don’t have a chronic illness), so who knows, I might just pass it like a flu as well. No one knows. It’s not good overthinking covid, all I can do is to keep social distancing & mask & hygiene, as always. I’m just so suffocated. I’m more prone to be an extrovert. Before pandemic, I’d only use my house to sleep I’d keep being out in public, attending events, ORGANIZING events, going to coffee shops, club meetings, lots and lots of stage plays, tours, everything. I’d sneak into my friends’ dorms and change cities and just so many more “normal” fun things. I was barely starting to enjoy my life again after the depression healed. Now, I’m mentally ok, but physically trapped. The “watch netflix, read books, stay home” thing is kind of overdosing me right now. I like this shit for a week maybe, not for 5 months. I don’t know how to not risk my mental health while keeping my physical health anymore. Of course, to even HAVE a mental health I need to stay alive, so I’m not complaining- health care workers, people who go to job everyday (including my parents), etc. are in such a harder situation. I know. But my own life is also valid, and while not as troubling and concerning as lives of others right now, well, I think I’m still worth caring, at least by myself. I don’t expect any extra outside compassion or validation (we all are in same situation), me writing my thoughts here is more of me just trying to see my thoughts being worded on screen so that maybe I can come up with a solution to these things as I go. Because I’ve always been a problem-solver rather than just merely venting. (I can’t always solve problems though, I need to work on accepting this fact.) Anyway, I just thought, maybe spending more time outdoors in the natural park that is close to my house could be a good thing. But it’s crowded since it’s outdoors and I really don’t want to share any commonly used areas right now. (I used to be more than okay with this before covid, as I said, I’m mostly extroverted and I like community gatherings, but I like being healthy more), so like... Idk, maybe I can just sort of have phone calls and videochats with my friends as I sit outdoors. Except I don’t even know I have that many friends anymore. I mean, I do- I surely do have bestest of friends in my life that I’m grateful for, but like. I am somehow an introvert magnet and while I’d die for most of my best friends (both irl and online) I don’t really think they are as hype about just chatting as often as I am. (I know that this doesn’t mean they love me any less. They love me in their own way & I love them in their own way so that’s OK.) So like. Maybe Nila, have this BRILLIANT idea of making more friends. Except. Like. You’re at home so you aren’t in much of social gatherings [you aren’t in any! That is insane!] and you don’t really know how to make friends from home. I mean, yes there are online friends but like. EVEN WITH THEM. How can I just *trust* them right away? I can’t, so like. I don’t know. I’m bored af.  On the bright side, today one of my bff from school called me and said he’s back in town and that we should catch up, he’s literally one of the greatest company ever and he wants to see the doggo, so I’m positive we can just have hour 9242309204 hours long in-depth chats again without getting bored (amazing to have people like that in my life). Anyway. I guess the moral of this is:

- I need to accept “the new normal”

- I need to protect myself but try to keep my mental health as good as possible because I like myself more when my mental health is fine and I can also come up with better creations then

- I need to finish my course work (internship) so that I can relax before school starts

- I need to spend more time outdoors but in isolated areas (good luck finding them!) 

- I need to recharge

- I “want to” make more friends or just check up on existing ones! I can’t use the word “need” for this because this would degrade the freedom of the other party. Friends are appreciated, and to some extend, a necessity for social creatures like us, but no “need” will make it happen. I will just make an effort to check up on my existing friends more frequently-- I’m quite selective at this, though, I prefer generally upbringing people who are mature to a certain extend (aka, no obsession, no passive-aggression. yes to personal boundaries, yes to an overall nice attitude [we all can have problems and that’s ok and that’s normal. what /I/ personally don’t wish to be around [with my all respect] is this mindset of “life is a disaster let’s be depressed” thing. I just love love my current friend circle because even if my close friends are just around 7 people, and even if we get depressed or sad or scared, our general look to life is nicer, we don’t make disasters out of regular days, we enjoy talking and chatting, which overall increases our life quality and makes it better. We also communicate & respect & listen to each other and all. I mean. It’s not like that with everyone, and that’s ok, but as I said, this is my personal preference. I prefer having bonds that are good rather than toxic and I am doing my best to be equally good, rather than being toxic to my friends. [I’m sorry I post a lot of Banana Fish to those who don’t know Banana Fish, ok. I know ur bored but like I just cannot help it. I’m trying to tone it down but BANANA FISH.] sOOOOOOOO, SOOOO that’s why it’s not how “i have 29420343204 friends uwu” mindset, like, I noticed I need to be reasonably picky with those I’m close to so that I and people I love can overall have a nice, fun days, which is point of friendship. (I mean. As I said. I’m here on bad days too. But I don’t feel mentally healthy enough to carry the burden of someone else’s depression. It hasn’t even been two months since I’m out of therapy yet, and my mental health is, while not bad, it is fragile. I’d rather not be around those who can [mostly, unwillingly] effect me badly. SO LIKE.  - that’s one hell of a long post nila, but long story short FRIENDS or you’ll die out of boredom

- also just finish your coursework i beg you

- thanks for coming to my ted talk, I actually always offer potential solutions on my vent posts, but this time i wanted to write this publicly [i dont think anyone will read this and i dont mind it] because like. why not? it’s just me thinking and I feel as if this could be of use for some people who are reading this & isolating themselves too. anyway, i love u, stay safe.