#clustered writings

[clusterduck28]

I found myself arbitrarily moving all the furniture around the house, discovering brand new, never before seen, hard to reach corners, containing heaps and heaps of fossilized pre-historic gunk, dirt and dust. I, an empty husk of the man that I never was, I just couldn't be fucked even think about cleaning any of it out. Dust was not what I was after. One disappointment after the other, I was running in circles and too stubborn to stop, I felt like reality itself was beginning to turn into dust and that was somehow my fault. Covered in my own blood, sweat and tears I eventually collapsed from exhaustion, quickly drifting away, I wondered if this ceiling really is the last thing my eyes get to see before they are finally shut closed for good.

Suddenly I felt myself regain consciousness. I didn't believe it at first, I don't quite believe it now, it might've been a dream, I might as well be dreaming still... Weeks or months might have passed since the last time I could remember myself think. I couldn't know for sure and at that point, I didn't care to. Losing track of time didn't feel like that big of a deal to someone who already lost so much... Eventually I managed to pick myself up, layers of crust peeling slowly off my mortal flesh, I continue my desperate search exactly where I left off. I persevered, I pushed through despite it all, it was the only thing I knew, it was the only thing, it was. It was there, it had to be! I will find it even if that means I have to lose myself in the process.

Anyway, turns out my passport was in my hoodie pocket all along, should've looked there first i guess

[talos-stims]

the computer blade | source

[maomango-doodle]

Arguing over sartorial matters yet again

[zoe-oneesama]

If its okay to ask what exactly is the issue with Chloe's writing in the show for you? The creators have stated multiple times "there will be no redemption, she's rotten to the core and she's gonna stay that way" and it seems like thats what you want from her. So where exactly do they fumble the bag for you?

Mostly the part where they wasted everyone's time.

They tried to play both sides - kept her as nasty and self centered as always and did nothing to change her, but also make multiple episodes where we're meant to feel sorry for her and the heroine is portrayed as In The Wrong for being too harsh on her. It was annoying.

Like, it was just...tonally confusing at the time. It's totally in character for her to "steal" a Miraculous and not give it back when the rightful owner demands it back, being a thief was never outside of Chloe's wheelhouse. So tell me why they had the heroes give her soft woobie eyes and make excuses for her on the grounds of "you just wanted Mommy to look at you" and frame it like that's correct??????

And then, AND THEN, after wasting everyone's goddamn time trying to pretend they were doing something deep with Chloe, they didn't just double down on her being a two-bit one dimensional mean girl and tried to pretend like they didn't devote multiple episodes to convincing the audience she was more than that, but they wrote her to be even more comically evil as if to drive the knife even deeper! You can't help but read into their motivations, it feels like they're doing it to target certain fans specifically. "Oh you liked Chloe and wanted her to be redeemed? What if we ANTI-REDEEMED HER?! And now she's somehow more evil than our abusive magical terrorist! BWAHAHAHA!" Like?????? The Fuck?????

There's a moment in Season 5's "Collusion" where Bustier brings up the gift Chloe got her at the end of "Zombizou", doing this speech about how she recognized that Chloe was just a fragile teenager looking for love and attention (the EXACT THING that Season 2 spent a multi-episode arc trying to convince their audience of) only for Chloe to snap back that Bustier is using her student's feelings to "blackmail" her in that moment and uses this as grounds to get the woman fired.

And I feel like that really encapsulates the frustration I have at specifically the staff behind Miraculous Ladybug when it comes to Chloe.

Here is Chloe mocking Bustier for reading into what happened in "Zombizou" and instead it feels like the viewer is being mocked. Everyone who thought they were going somewhere with Chloe, everyone who bought what they were selling, everyone who's time was fucking wasted, is being laughed at in this moment.

Look, I never bought into Chloe being redeemed, so my personal annoyance was this dilly-dallying through this random side quest that amounted to nothing, which is a constant in this damn show. But, and I know this might be hard for some to believe, I had deep deep sympathy and empathy for fans who really thought and really wanted for the Battle of the Queens Arc to amount to something. I am so, so angry for them, because every season finds a way to not only stab you all in the back but twist the knife.

So yeah, that's my "issue".

[ryllen]

and some extra unused stuff while they are in affectionate mood

[narcpocalypse]

TBH the best way to flesh out a character (which works for me) is to put them in two interview settings. One where they have to tell the truth no matter what and one where they can say whatever they're comfortable with. One will show their depth and the other will show how they want to be perceived

EDIT: OMG YALL TY FOR BLOWING THIS UP???? Here's a template for this idea with 3 interview settings!

[gemgdynamight0]

In this scene Katsuki is looking at the camera and saying "see you later", so it means we're gonna have a Katsuki centered spin off and-

[honeysuckleandfireflies]

desiring and being desired, both make me wanna throw up

[alcettogo]

Changing House

Chapter 11 of A Clustered Garage is now up! FIRST | PREV | NEXT

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61937218/chapters/162830080

[clusterduck28]

"Source: The Internet DUH"

I can remember so many times when I was talking to an older person about some current events type topic and they bring up some specific detail about it that I haven't heard before, but they ststed it as fact so I go like "Hmmm, interesting, I didn't know about that, where did you get that from?"

And what they say in response is usually something like "Tbe Internet DUH" or "The News" or "Someone shared it in a group chat", etc. And when I ask them to specify the source or publication shearing that information they just shrug and say "I don't know...?". They always seem surprised whenever I ask these sorts of questions, there seems to be an underlying assumption of "if it's in the news then it must be true" that applies regardless of who is reporting it. And usually they do understand that news reporting can be biased and inaccurate, they get it on an intellectual level when I bring it up, but they just never seem to question their own news sources that way. After all, if they did they'd at the very least been able to name them, right?

To me this seems like it's the result of people nowadays mainly getting their news from algorithmic feeds. Stories get aggregated from a wide variety of sources and served to users based on what's most likely to keep their attention. People don't get to choose a set of sources they trust like it was the case with TV and newspapers, for example. Instead, some nebulous algorithm gets to choose for them and the very way these platforms are designed discourages users from considering where whatever they are reading originally came from.

Basically, it seems like for some people it's difficult to grasp that even though everyon's getting thier news from The Internet, it doesn't mean everyone gets shown the same information. This may seem obvious, but for older folks who grew up in a completely different media landscape I imagine it would be pretty difficult to adjust.

[jupiter-on-the-compupiter]

The neurodivergent feeling of being like "help I'm being mildly and fairly criticized over a small flaw by someone that clearly cares about me and is trying not to be mean. I think I'm gonna explode and lock myself in my room never to see the light of day again, human interaction will be my demise"

[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

A Cluster of Burning Stars - Prologue

{ao3}

“What do you think it’s like down on Earth?” 

“I bet there’s lots more places to run than up here. It looks so big. All the pictures make it look so open. So much bigger than this stupid ship.” 

“Don’t be rude.” 

“I hope it’s just like those fairytales you read me, Maria! With magic and destiny and true love…” 

“--What about you, Shadow?” 

“...it doesn’t matter. If we go there, we’ll go together, and that’s what’s important.”

“...”

“...”

“...Stop being a sap, Shadow, and tell us what you actually wanna see.”

“Fine. I wanna hold a spider.” 

“I knew it.” 

“Ha ha.” 

“Stop arguing, boys. We have to go back to lessons in a bit. Let’s just… enjoy the view.” 

“It… it is a lovely view.”

“...Yeah.” 

---

Knuckles the Echidna and Miles “Tails” Prower the Fox had been thorns in the side of Doctor Ivo Robotnik for way too long for him to not lose his mind the second he saw them during his most recent conquest of the planet. Of course, they wouldn’t have it any other way, this was pretty much how they get their kicks. It got a bit difficult sometimes, but that’s what the extended team was for. But for today, it’s just Knuckles and Tails. They should be fine for now. 

Today’s mission brought them somewhere strange, though. When Tails picked up the signal that Robotnik’s ship had reached the general area, he was worried that he was going to a deserted island in order to capture more flickies to turn into robots-- still hadn’t gotten tired of that, apparently. But when he picked Knuckles up from Angel Island and flew over, they had to engage stealth mode incredibly quickly, as they noticed the island was, indeed, not deserted. 

“Hurry it up, Tails.” Knuckles muttered, standing on the wing of the plane and staring down at the huge metallic facility taking up half the island. He could see a protected road and an arched, towering fence over it. It led a little bit off the shoreline, over to what seemed to be some form of landing pad. What drew attention the most, though, were the flashing lights and distant sound of an alarm. Robotnik must already be inside. 

“I’m working on it.” Tails muttered, giving him a quick glare. “It’s a bit hard to scan government files and fly a plane at the same time.” He put a hand to the communicator in his ear, and called, “Vector, Espio, you better be working, too.” 

He heard a few mutters of confirmation from the other end of the line. 

Knuckles glanced down at the land below, narrowing his eyes so the lights stopped bothering him so much. “This isn’t the kind of island I like being around, Tails.” 

“I know.” 

“I prefer silence. Nature. Solitude. No sudden noises.” 

“I’m aware… hold on, Vector got something.” 

Knuckles sighed and reached to his ear, turning on his communicator; he tried to keep it off, mainly, because the static when everyone was silent annoyed him to no end. But once it was on, he could hear the Chaotix from back in Station Square, scanning whatever computer they’d managed to snag. 

“–Prison Island,” Vector was saying, as Knuckles could hear Espio distantly chasing Charmy around the room; the bee seemed to have grabbed something from his fellow detective and was refusing to give it back.

“Prison Island?” Tails asked. 

“Secret Military Base.” Vector affirmed. “Research facility of GUN. There’s a ton of military facilities, but that big thing in the middle should be their prison. Six levels of security. Should be completely impossible to get through.” 

“Okay,” Tails said, “So how long do you think it’ll take us to bust after Robotnik in there?” 

“Less than an hour.” 

“Alright. We’re shutting off communications. Send the emergency alert if you need anything, you know how.” Tails switched off his communicator, and then said, “You ready to break into a government facility?” 

Knuckles finally smiled, and punched his palm. “When am I not?” 

---

Six levels of security, protected by the best technology and weaponry that the Guardian Units of Nations could offer, were never going to be a match for Dr Ivo Robotnik. He hadn’t even brought his best robots-- he sat in a simple Robo-Walker and blazed his way through hall after hall, hidden elevator after elevator. Security drones would come to attack, but of course they were no match for his technology. Robotnik was the genius of the century, at least according to him, so of course this would be no problem. 

There were six levels of security, he knew, and the files he’d spent days hacking into were a bit more correct than what Vector dug up in a few minutes. While each level had defenses, guards, cameras… everything stopped at Level Seven. GUN never assumed that anyone would be able to get that far, and besides, they didn’t like people knowing what was in there. 

Once Robotnik entered, he approached the large, shining computer in the center. And he looked underneath, to see the frozen tube, holding GUN’s dark, shameful secret within.

“So this is the military’s top secret weapon. A bit smaller than I expected.” 

He was not deterred; size was no guarantee of power. His own Bokkun messenger could carry a multitude of explosives, and that stupid fox couldn’t be over 3’0, and yet he and his echidna friend had been foiling his plans for far too long. Luckily, he had a solution, thanks to the hidden files, the buried research of his brilliant grandfather. And now that he had that information, he could finally defeat those dumb animals, and proceed with his plans for the Robotnik Empire. All he had to do…

“Enter user data, aha… enter password.” 

An easy password. Of course, GUN wouldn’t have guessed it. Robotnik had guessed it due to, as Tails would put it, his inflated sense of ego leading him to believe his family line was superior to all others on the planet. Robotniks had always treasured family above all else, but not always for reasons of superiority, something the girl he was using as a password had once understood. 

“M-A-R-I-A.”

The computer buzzed, and then all Robotnik had to do was place the key to open the chamber, a key that GUN had haughtily assumed none but them would ever be able to find, bring to the facility, and reach level seven to utilize. 

But being experienced at stealing these precious stones to power his machines (though Knuckles always somehow got them back, annoyingly), Robotnik simply removed the white chaos emerald from his pocket, and placed it into a console beside the capsule. It took only a moment before the distant hum and glow of the emerald began its work. Robotnik allowed the gunner machine he sat inside to step back as the capsule slowly began to rise, a small amount of smoke clearing from the platform. GUN and their dramatics… well, honestly, Robotnik could appreciate that. Presentation was very important.

The capsule finished rising, and lifted itself in a diagonal position, as if whatever was inside would need to sit up. Then, with another puff of smoke, the lid flipped open. 

And, in confusion, Robotnik watched as a black hedgehog climbed out, shakily standing. 

The hedgehog was still for a moment, eyes narrowed, clearly trying to figure out where he was. He then turned, seeing Robotnik himself. His eyes widened for just a moment, before the emotion was hidden again. Carefully, he observed the room, and then crossed his arms. 

Sensing he wouldn’t speak on his own, Robotnik prompted, “So. The military’s top-secret weapon is… a hedgehog.” 

The hedgehog continued to stare, and then knelt down. Eyes down, he said, in a quiet, dark voice, “My name is Shadow.” He looked up, then stood and crossed his arms again. “Since you were so kind to release me, my master, I will grant you one wish.” 

Robotnik took a moment, trying to decide if the hedgehog was joking. It seemed a bit impossible to tell. But, well, with an ego like Robotnik’s, it was quite easy for him to accept that, of course, this creature would immediately want to serve one as great as him. 

“Well, I could definitely use some assistance getting out of here.” Robotnik said, considering. “I’m sure GUN has already brought in more forces. And that silly echidna and his little friends will probably come in to ruin my fun.” 

The hedgehog once again had a moment where his facial expression changed, a glimmer of something behind his eyes. “GUN? We’re in a GUN facility?” 

“Where else would you be? If you are this ‘ultimate lifeform,’ you are a GUN weapon.” 

The hedgehog watched him for a moment, and then turned and began inspecting the room. He walked to the computer, running a hand across it, before he turned to his capsule. He peered inside, almost confused. 

“Is something the matter… Shadow?” 

The hedgehog looked up. “Am I the only one here?” 

“But of course. You’re the weapon, aren’t you?” 

The hedgehog blinked once. Then twice. Then he turned, so the doctor could not see his face. A small whisper. Tiny enough that Robotnik, who wasn’t paying much attention anyway, definitely wouldn’t have heard it– and if he did, he wouldn’t have known what to do with it, or with the break in the hedgehog’s voice as he spoke. 

“They killed them.” 

They wouldn’t have kept them separate, would they? They’d want all their eggs in one basket. That’s why they were all on the ARK in the first place. 

Maria died to keep them all safe. She died and they killed the others anyway. Of course they would. Of course they would, they’d always said that Shadow was the most useful. That’s why he’d had to protect them, that’s… that’s why it was his fault, he hadn’t protected them enough, and now they were all dead. 

GUN had taken everything. 

---

Shadow burst through everything in the facility, and when they reached the outside, and he stopped to take a breath, and he looked up at the Earth that had been denied to him for so long, denied to all of them, he held his tears back. 

Two mobians were there, species he vaguely recognized from their textbooks on the ARK. Fox? And… porcupine? Bandicoot? Echidna? Echidna seemed right. The red echidna turned to him, eyes wide with confusion and anger. 

“Hey, you!” he shouted, and Shadow resisted the urge to cover his ears, the noise of the collapsing building inside and the distant gunshots already thundering in his head. “What do you think you’re doing?”

The fox gave him some kind of chiding, but Shadow didn’t listen. He just gave them both a fiery glare. “I’m granting my family justice.” he whispered, not caring if they could or could not hear him. 

He leapt forwards, then, spinning and ramming into the echidna. It sent the red mobian flying back, and Shadow took no time in turning and swinging a kick, sending the fox flying away from him. He heard the echidna leap back up, shouting something in an excited tone– someone who liked to fight, then. The fox said nothing, but Shadow could see him get back to his feet, steadying himself. 

But as Shadow turned to continue the brawl, he wasn’t thinking about them. He was thinking about that first night.

“I can’t sleep.” 

“Why?”

“It’s a new room. I don’t know how.” 

“So why bother me?” 

“It’s your room. How do you sleep here?” 

“I just… do. Other hedgehog, help me out here.” 

“No, I’m with her on this. I feel weird.” 

“...you want to cuddle, don’t you?” 

Two little voices, muttering, “Maybe.” 

“Fine. Come here.” 

He remembered that feeling. He had to be ten years old then, they were all so young. He’d scooted back on the bottom bunk, and then the blue hedgehog had crawled up, cautiously curling up on the bed’s edge, but then the youngest leapt on, bounced, and dragged them all together. She laid inbetween them, hugging them to her, refusing to let go. She had her head on Shadow’s shoulder, then, and whispered, “Night-night.” 

Both of the others had been uncomfortable at first, not used to touch. But they’d realized fast that she needed this, and, well, maybe they needed it, too. Just someone to hold. 

I’m sorry. 

They were gone now. Because he’d failed them. 

I’m sorry, Maria. 

I’m sorry, Amy. 

I’m sorry, Sonic. 

I won’t fail your memory. 

---

Hundreds of miles away, on a deserted island, a second pod let out a long beep, before falling silent again.

[belovedharlot]

soft in all the right places / bear witness as i decay

image: "Is This Living? (2020)" by meka tome

words/text: mine

[fruitsofhell]

"I theorize that this amoral villain character has Antisocial Personality Disorder and/or Narcissistic Personality Disorder"

Awesome, you know the definition of some diagnoses - now say something true and profound about the human experience of mental illness.

[doomedfromthewombfr]

I try to be everything for everyone, but in the end, I’m always nothing to myself

[allornothingalways-blog]

unfortunately i would rather date someone with the same disorders as me because:

a. they get it without the 10 hour powerpoint i had to give my ex

b. they wont leave me

c. they will give me attention and i will give them attention

d. we will have a cat who likes me better and a dog who likes you better, and we will pretend to be annoyed but actually its perfect

e. our disorders come from childhood trauma and we will not have biological children because children are fucking SCARY

f. breakdowns are shared (they will lay on the floor with me and make sad jokes)

g. therapy is bonding time ("what did your therapist say?"/"i cried and realized i have a deep rooted fear of being perceived" / "hot")

h. normal?? whats that??