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#content warning: everything
kiisuuumii · 11 hours
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Akwaeke Emezi, from "disclosure," Content Warning: Everything
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godzilla-reads · 12 days
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💜 Content Warning: Everything by Akwaeke Emezi
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
In their debut poetry collection, Akwaeke Emezi imagines a new depth of belonging, crafted of both divine and earthly materials.
I’ll start off by saying that my two favorite poems out of all these deeply personal poems were “Disclosure” and “when the hurricane comes the men protect their brothers”. These two stuck out to me the most because of how raw and uncensored they were. The poems in this book definitely contain content warnings for abuse, rape, self-harm, and suicide. I probably wouldn’t have understood the poems as well if I hadn’t read some of Emezi’s books, but you catch on real quick. Akwaeke Emezi is a gift.
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WHAT IF JESUS WAS MY BIG BROTHER, Akwaeke Emezi [from“Content Warning: Everything”]
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lifeinpoetry · 2 years
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salvation has no other doors, they said
we can’t be seen lying down with sin
take the honey and thick waterwine
but i know a desert when i see one
the rippling mirage, the sweet devil
they promise me crackling skin
say i’ll scream for them
but my throat is a river
full of the holiest water
— Akwaeke Emezi, from “christening,” Content Warning: Everything
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ddoodler · 5 years
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Read my CHRISTMAS COMIC on Twitter!
Tumblr doesn’t allow +10 pics per post, sorry!
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poison-prayer · 7 years
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Happy Valentine’s Day
“Okay - take it easy,” he said, an arm around her waist as she stumbled and nearly fell over herself. He eased her down to the ground, her legs barely working as he set her down gently. “There we go.” 
She was still trying, bless her, and even though Daniel couldn’t make out a word she was saying through her disoriented slur, he was sure she could still hear him. He got the feeling this was going to be a very one-sided conversation; he couldn’t blame her of course, it was only fair. “You and I are going to have a very long night together. And I assure you, it’s nothing personal.” His voice was still bright, jovial as though they were still talking over dinner together. He sounded happy, and it was an unpleasant sound coming from a man who had just drugged her and hauled her into the darkest part of the woods. “It’s just,” He stood, absolutely towering over her as she remain dazed on the ground, “see, a friend of mine has been trying to get me to ‘loosen up,’ she says, thinks I’m too calculated in what I do.” 
He hummed, and shrugged, turning away from her. “Maybe she’s right. I like it, though. Either way, I agreed to be a little more spontaneous, find a date, go with the flow - have a fun evening, you know?” 
Daniel moved to his car, throwing the driver’s side door open and leaning halfway in. He was fairly confident that she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon; she was still heavily incapacitated, but he would like to get her restrained as soon as possible. Once the drug started to wear off he had the feeling she would be very keen on getting out of here by all means necessary, and that imposed a great personal risk to him. 
There were a few things he’d brought with him in preparation for the date. Flowers, cologne, latex gloves, rope - Oh it all seemed so cliche, and for a moment he was almost embarrassed with himself. This was something out of a cheap Valentine’s Day horror movie. 
Were there Valentine’s Day horror movies? He’d have to check.
The rope slung over his shoulder, he leaned a bit further, popping open the glove compartment. He was grateful they were both small items, it would have been awfully hard for him to fit it all underneath the driver’s seat. 
It closed with a hard click and he picked himself up, leaving the car idle as he moved back to her. He cut an intimidating figure in the harsh yellow glow of the headlights. With most of his things deposited next to her, he crouched again, easing her up. “Come on now, don’t move too much,” he muttered as he slipped the rope from his shoulder. He bound her ankles first, keeping his knee against her feet to make sure she wouldn’t try to kick him. 
When he slipped the knife from his back, she started crying. Oh, he’d thought about it, sure. If he’d wanted to imitate Jen in true fashion - ha - he ought to have used it, but the thought of so much blood was a turn off for sure. He was a creature of habit, sadly, and he had his own ways. He muttered something to her, trying to placate her and reassure her that he wasn’t going to use it on her, he’s just cutting the rope. And true to his word, he put it back in its holster when he was done, moving slowly so that she could watch him put it away.
He was a delicate man despite the deeds. For someone who found so much delight in the fear of others, he was an oddly calming person. He was quiet, calm, confident as he calmed her. Her sobs were soft, and she could barely muster the energy for complete sentences. She just kept pleading with him, over and over. 
The sound of begging was a beautiful one. His pulse quickened, and his vision sharpened like a hawk as he watched her, binding her hands behind her back and to the tree trunk; it wasn’t the best knot work, but it would be enough to keep her down. Her voice was like music and ragged, gasping breaths like the beat of a drum that fell in line with the pounding of his heart. 
He hushed her, smoothing down her hair as if she were an upset child. “I know you’re scared,” he said, “but it’s going to be okay, I promise. In a little bit you won’t feel anything.” 
Then there was a small bottle, no more than 100 milliliters, dark brown in color; he screwed off the top and crouched over her. “Now, usually I prefer to work with... cyanide, or rat poison. But this is a special occasion.” One hand gripped her jaw, pushing her head back, and the other gently tipped the rim of the bottle at her lips. She tried to throw him off her but he was surprisingly solid, especially for someone with only a fraction of their strength. The liquid trickled past her lips, and she choked and gagged on it. It was a sweet, sharp flavor, like a carrot, but far darker, earthier. Daniel did his best to make sure it made it down her throat despite her struggling, clamping a hand over her mouth as he held her head still. 
Carefully, he pinched her nose shut, waiting until she struggled to gasp for breath, swallowing the liquid and forcing her mouth open to drag in air. She swore, coughing violently and knocking Daniel back a bit. “There,” he huffed, standing and brushing himself off. For someone who didn’t like messy affairs, he was getting awfully dirty out here in the middle of the woods. Poor choice, he’d have to do better next time. Next time? “That wasn’t so hard, was it? Thank you for your cooperation, I spent a lot of time getting that right these last few days. Trial and error. Luckily there’s plenty of hemlock to be found in Oregon.” He clapped the dirt from his hands and moved away again, humming to himself. 
When she saw the silicone gag, he could see the panic in her eyes. She struggled, trying to push herself away from him, swearing and begging, and while he would miss the sound of it, he moved over her once again. 
“Easy, easy, it’s not what you think. It’s just to make sure you don’t hurt yourself. You’ll thank me later, come on now.” She didn’t make it easy, but he managed to get the piece in her mouth, making sure it was in place securely enough, that she couldn’t bite down. “Good, good. Just relax.”
Even his spontaneity was carefully planned, and with all of his precautions in place, he finally picked up the small device. It was no bigger than a television remote, perhaps a little thicker, and it fit nicely in the palm of his hand. It was difficult to make out exactly what it was in the darkness, the device being a matte black against his pale skin, but she already knew she was terrified of it. Her breath picked up as he approached her again.
There was something bright and sickening in his eyes as he looked down at her, fingers drumming lightly against the device as he held it. He looked at her like she was a project to be worked on, trying to figure out where he ought to start. He figured he ought to ease her into it, give her a moment to drink in exactly what was about to happen to her. 
Once again he crouched down to her level, elbows resting against his knees as he leaned forward slightly. He held the device up casually, allowing her to see it a bit better in the glow. He didn’t bother explaining to her what it was or what it did. When she could see the prongs, he saw the terror in her eyes and knew she was perfectly aware of what it was. All he offered her was four words, just enough to give her a hint of what lay in store. 
“Four hundred thousand volts.” All things considered, that was a very mild number. There were stun guns like his that ranged into the millions of volts; no, that wasn’t what he wanted for tonight. “Don’t worry,” he said. His tone was gentle, painful to listen to as though he was trying to comfort a friend rather than a captive. “It’s not going to kill you, I promise.”
He paused, looking at the little black box and pressing the button on the side. It made a fast click-click-click noise that almost sounded like buzzing, bright blue electricity lighting the both of them up as it arched between the two prongs. It was brief; Daniel released the trigger quickly, but wouldn’t be so hasty in the coming hours. 
“But it’s going to hurt immensely.” 
She can’t speak through the gag, and her cries and pleas are muffled. The stun gun was loud in his ears, and it echoed through their little patch of forest. He wondered how loud she was going to be. 
Click-click-click, he touched it briefly to her leg, watching her jerk away, crying out, struggling. It was just a touch, not even a second. She sobbed, arching away from him as much as her restraints allowed. 
Oh, yes. 
This was going to be a wonderful evening. 
He wasn’t sure if she would hear him through her panic, but he spoke regardless. “Don’t worry,” he kept his voice soft. “I know it hurts, I know, but it won’t kill you. That’s what the hemlock was for.  In an hour or so, you’ll be paralyzed - I’m interested to see what happens from there. Maybe you’ll fall into seizures. Maybe you’ll go into cardiac arrest. Maybe you’ll asphyxiate,” he sounded particularly hopeful at that. “Either way, you won’t feel a thing. It’s a painless way to go.” 
He paused for a moment, thoughtful. She squirmed, heaving as tears streamed down her cheeks. He reached out, thumbing away the water and hushing her. “But until then, I’m going to have my fun.” 
Without missing a beat, he pressed the prongs to her side, just below her ribs, and pulled the trigger. The device clicked rapidly, buzzing as the electricity ripped into her. He could swear her scream could be heard for miles, but between the gag and the trees watching over them, he was confident that it didn’t go more than a few hundred yards. And they were far, far deeper than that. 
It was a wonderful sound, and he drank it in like poisoned wine; deep and addictive. He let out a slow breath and smiled at her. 
He pressed it to her side again, watching her tense and arch her back. Her entire body convulsed as she screamed, red in the face and thrashing against her restraints and biting down on the gag, jaw clenched. He was sure the pain was unbearable; four hundred thousand volts coursing through her body, five seconds; ten seconds; he wondered how long he could go. He wanted to find out, he wanted to know just how long he could make her scream, just how badly he could make her beg and cry. But he didn’t want to overdo it. It was a delicate balance. In ten or fifteen minutes he would stop, probably; give her water and a moment to catch her breath before they started all over again. He’d move from her side, to her stomach, to the crook of her neck. 
It would be a while before she stopped moving. It wouldn't be as fun, then. But until then, he would enjoy every jerk and scream. And once she stopped moving - once she stopped breathing, once she started struggling to stay alive, Daniel would watch every moment. 
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kingpiss · 7 years
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Just saw sausage party and uh Well
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altartidingarchive · 8 years
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kiisuuumii · 1 day
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Akwaeke Emezi, from "christening," Content Warning: Everything
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kiisuuumii · 16 hours
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Akwaeke Emezi, from "disclosure," Content Warning: Everything
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kiisuuumii · 2 hours
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Akwaeke Emezi, from "folding for a cruel man," Content Warning: Everything
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kiisuuumii · 7 hours
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Akwaeke Emezi, from "july 28," Content Warning: Everything
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I THOUGHT I COULD BE WELL, Akwaeke Emezi [from“Content Warning: Everything”]
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lifeinpoetry · 2 years
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i will most certainly have wings of roaring flame eleven of them, seven unstable faces, your worst shame as my eyes, your darkest desire as my sword, bloody and oh so beautiful and i will finally look like the terrible thing i have always been
— Akwaeke Emezi, from “self-portrait as an angel,” Content Warning: Everything
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lifeinpoetry · 2 years
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i sit at mary auntie’s feet as she rocks back and forth / arms clasped around herself / is it easier, i ask / to watch it when you know what the third day will bring / she laughs with clouded eyes / never, she says / her nostrils flaring at a dead smell, her jaw tight with fury / her knuckles like old ice
her sandals are worn to the sole / i don’t know how long she’s been standing here / if you could go back / would you do it again, i ask / would he do it again / mary auntie laughs a laugh that is not aimed to be unkind / her eyes a lost glory of white, her voice a hiss of acid / silly little god, she snarls / neither of us was given a choice.
— Akwaeke Emezi, from “what if mary auntie explained mortality,” Content Warning: Everything
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lifeinpoetry · 2 years
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i held my breath and i did not die, do you hear? i did not die what i’m saying is, it doesn’t matter which water i will never know what it’s like to drown
— Akwaeke Emezi, from “i was born in a great length of river,” Content Warning: Everything
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