#conversation with them. it feels shitty to be treated that way but it's ALWAYS what people do when it comes to me

[katya-goncharov]

i think this might be the worst i've felt mentally since the pandemic, and it's all because of having to start that stupid job which i NEED to be able to afford to keep going to uni

[a-b-riddle]

Part 9 (unrevised version). Since I've gotten 6 messages and a good bit of asks requesting to view it. Here it is, not in its final form.

You had hoped Monday would have treated you better than the past two days, but walking up to your shop in the pouring rain to already see a body standing outside waiting wasn't a good sign.

Customers who waited outside your shop always made you feel uncomfortable. But when you finally got close enough, you took in the person before you.

"We don't open for another hour." Your voice flat as you fished for your keys.

"I'll wait." Was Kyle's reply.

"Then you'll have to do it outside." You said, the key sliding into the lock. He didn't argue as you shut the door behind you. Didn't even bother knocking when, after thirty minutes, you looked in the window to see that the wind was causing the rain to blow sideways.

You relented. Letting him in thirty minutes earlier. It was a small mercy, even if he was soaked to the bone. You almost felt bad when his chattering teeth were the only thing you could hear.

Almost.

"I take it John told you about our little talk yesterday." You said, going about your business. Engaging in the conversation as if you were talking about the shitty weather that had tried to drown him.

"He did." He gave a sniffle. Running a hand over his beautiful, wet face. Droplets still staking their claim on his skin. "H-he alssso t-t-told us we were on our own in begging for our own f-forgiveness. Ra-ra- rightly s-s-s-so."

You huffed. Guilt beginning to eat at you before you turned, disappearing to the back of the store and coming back with a shirt and a blanket. "You left the shirt here."

He had no shame and wasted no time in taking off his jacket and soaked shirt. His chiseled body exposed to you. It was almost instinct to reach out and touch the soft skin. You luckily possessed some form of self restraint.

"So are you here to promise to make amends as well?" You crossed your arms. You meant it as a sign that you were wanting to create distance, but honestly you didn't trust yourself. It was second nature. Kyle and Johnny were tied when it came to having to always touch you.

Probably why his ghosting sucked so bad.

"I'd like to take you out." You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you. It wasn't until Kyle's face fell that you realized, "Oh, you're actually serious."

He opened his mouth, ready to no doubt give you the same exact promises of doing better that John had given you the day before. Fortunately for Kyle, you didn't have the time to entertain a conversation.

"Fine." You immediately relented. No argument. "That Indian place where I asked you to go four months ago. Seven. If you manage to figure out which place, then I'll be meeting you there. Otherwise you'll be eating alone."

Kyle stood still. Unprepared for the fact that you had... agreed. You actually agreed to let him take you out.

"I can pick you up."

"Not sure what time I'll be getting off today. Might go home first. Might just go straight there." You started opening tasks again. "I have to finish setting up. Seven sharp.

"Seven sharp." He repeated, his smile lighting up the room.

It made you feel sick.

It was 6:45 when your phone started ringing. It was Kyle. Confirming that he was at the restaurant you were supposed to go.

7:00. He had gotten the two of you a table. He'll go ahead and order you a drink. They had mango lassi, but wasn't sure if you wanted to stick to just water.

7:15 He tries calling you. When it goes to voicemail, a follow up text is sent asking if you're okay.

At 7:20, while sitting on the couch you text back. Sorry. Something came up. We'll reschedule, I promise.

If you knew giving them a taste of their own medicine felt so good, you would have done it ages ago. You felt no since of shame in sending it. You hated being petty, but you wanted them to know what it felt like.

John had a lot more of verbal outbursts coming his way and if Johnny was hoping for a chance, he would be lucky if you had sex with him again before marriage.

Ten minutes later, on the dot, there was a knocking on your door. Your food had arrived. Blindly, you opened the door. Only instead of the take out you had delivered, Kyle stood there. Yet again soaked to the bone and this time out of breath.

"How did you know I was here?" Was the first thing that had come into your mind. If anything, he would have went by the shop first, but no. He came here. You weren't the type to deviate from a schedule, but christ. Simon at your date and then the club. John at the shop on your day off. Now this. "I swear to fucking god this fucking stalking-"

"Easy now, Love. No one's stalking you." Bullshit.

Absolute bullshit. They were military. Really important and special connections type of military, but this was bullshit. They were keeping tabs on you somehow.

"I know for a fucking fact that place is only ten minutes away. So you didn't have time to check out my store-- where I should be-- before coming here. So I'm going to ask you again, how did you know I was here?"

"Okay," he shrugged. "Stalking. We're stalking you." Kyle was lying. We he nodded like a bobblehead, you knew whatever was coming out of his mouth was bullshit. The first time you confirmed it was after Johnny had volunteered to make haggis. Kyle told him it was good, no doubt hoping to spare his feelings.

"Kyle." You warned, eyes narrowed and teeth clenched. He paused as if trying to form another lie, but coming up short. Sighing in defeat, he confessed.

"Blocking us didn't stop you from sharing your location." In that moment, you could have strangled him. They had been still using your location. Something you had given them as a way to find you if you ever needed help. Now those assholes were using it for their own benefit.

"Son of a-" you shut your mouth. "I can't do this with you right now, okay?" You didn't confess that your publisher had asked for a last minute zoom call in the middle of your busiest work hour to see how you felt about doing a few meet and greets, all expenses paid.

Good news, but still... overwhelming. You still felt like an imposter. That you didn't deserve the hype you were getting. Your story wasn't that good. Your characters didn't hold much depth.

"Everything okay?" You didn't want to tell him. Didn't want to give him the chance to offer the reassurance you desperately needed for something he had no idea about.

"Why?" You asked, changing the subject. "I just want to know why? With John I get that the job gets stressful and needing someone to take-"

"No," he finished. "That's not an excuse. It's a reason. Not an excuse." His jaw clenched. "There is no excuse for how any of us treated you."

"Then what was your reason?" you asked. "I'm finding it very hard that someone who quite actively avoided me suddenly wants to get back together."

"I slacked off?" He shrugged. "I figured there were four of us and if I wasn't able to be there, it wouldn't make a difference."

"If you're just going to lie, Kyle, there is no point in continuing this conversation." You go to close the door only for his hand to stop you.

He stands there, looking at the ground. Even from the this angle you can see him take his bottom lip between his teeth.

He's nervous.

You step back. Giving him the option of coming in and saying it is whatever it is he needs to stay. He may be an ass like the rest of them, but this isn't exactly a conversation you want to have in the hallway for your nosey neighbors to hear.

He takes the silent invitation. Walking in and not speaking until you click the door shut. "You want the truth?" His voice is soft, but there is something else behind it. Anger?

"No," you say sardonically. "Please. Lie to me." He sighed, but didn't say anything. You were exhausted. The past few days had been a back-to-back rollercoaster of emotions. You were drained. You didn't have it in you for this right now. "Kyle-"

"I thought you only kept asking because you felt bad for me." He said the words so quickly, it took you a moment to process them. He thought.... you felt bad for him? "Like you were still trying to include me even if you didn't want to."

"Why?" Was the only thing you could come up with. You didn't have the energy to try to come up with your own reasoning for his admission.

"Don't think I don't know how I am compared to the them." He scoffed. You always knew the hierarchy of their work, even if you didn't know all the details. John was at the top. Captain and head bitch in charge. Simon was the lieutenant with Johnny and Kyle as Sergeants. Kyle was the youngest of the group by two years, but still. What was there to compare?

"So you're not a Captain or Lieutenant?" you shrug. "Johnny is the same rank as you. And you are the youngest and I'm sure with time you'll get to a position-"

"Black!" He said. "I'm black. I am the only fucking black guy not only in this relationship. I'm the only black guy in the 141, in the unit."

When it came to Kyle, black was the last thing you thought of. You thought of his soft brown eyes or house his hands felt so smooth against your body. How his smile could light up the room and how beautiful, how head-turning gorgeous he was. "I'm just an after thought in everything else regarding the 141, why would you be any different?"

"Ky," you were going to be sick. Was this how he really felt? With you? With the others? With work? "You know I don't feel that way, right?"

"Do you remember that time we went out? That french place?" How could you forget. The maître d' had asked Kyle to put a card on a tab before the two of you were even seated. At first you thought it was preposterous. Why would you make patrons at a fine dining restaurant do that? This wasn't a pub for Christ sakes. Kyle told you not to worry about it and handed over a card.

The two of you never went back.

"Oh my god." It dawned on you. "When they asked for your card..."

"I..." he sucked in a breath. Trying to keep his composure. "It was fucking humiliating. I was a man dressed to the fucking nines with a gorgeous girl on my arm and before I even got the chance to blow my money, I was treated like I couldn't afford it. It wasn't because of what I was wearing or who I was with. It was because of me. Of who I was. Who I am."

"Kyle," words escaped you. Nothing in that moment to reassure him that it never dawned on you. That it stupidly never dawned on you how there were times that people did look at him different. You wanted to tell him that it didn't matter. That you were just as important and lovable and respectable as the others. That you loved him just as much. Words failed you. All you could say say was, "I'm so sorry."

He swallowed, before taking in harsh breath through his nose. "It's not an excuse. I got wrapped up in my own stupid fucking head about how other people looked at me, I forgot it only mattered how you did."

"And you did." You said, aching to reach out. To touch him. Offer some comfort. Hating that he ever felt like he wasn't enough. Knowing the feeling all too well. Even if he was the one to make you feel it. "You did matter to me."

"I know." He said. You were thankful he said it clearly. Not shrugging his shoulders or nodding his head as he spoke. "I'll do anything to matter to you again." He took your hands in his, even though they had ached to hold you closer. But he knew not to test his luck. "If you want to press restart and let's take it back to the very beginning, I'll do that. I will court you and woo you and make you fall in love with me all over again because I will never fall out with you. I can't."

You weren't prepared for this. You had prepared to leave Kyle waiting in a restaurant alone. Now your heart ached in your chest at the idea of letting him ever think he wasn't enough because of the color of his skin.

"It doesn't have to be now or tomorrow or next week or next fucking month." He squeezed your hands the same way had John had. With the exact same intensity and promise. "Just let me try again. I won't let you down this time. I'll put in the work."

"I don't want you to feel like you have to work to make this relationship work, Kyle." You protest, wanting to pull your hands away. Free from the spell his touch had seem to be putting you under.

He smiled. Not enough to show off his teeth, but enough where have of his face lifted up. "It's not the type of work with long hours and a shit commute. Loving you is the same kind of work an artist puts into making a masterpiece. Pouring everything into it and getting something beautiful in return."

Before you could comprehend it, your face was wet. "Kyle." Your lips quivered, a sob threatening to come out. "I never felt like I needed to spend time with you, Ky." You sniffled. "I fucking wanted to. I missed you." You were so close. You needed to reel it in. Get it together.

"I just didn't understand how you could." His confession broke any restraint you had. Your hand flew to your mouth, trying to subdue your cries. When Kyle pulled you to his chest, his arms wrapping around you, you allowed yourself to crumble.

Not even for yourself, but for him.

For the kind heart you now knew broke with every sideways glance from passer-byes. For the hateful and prejudice world you lived in and for how they could overlook such a wonderful man just because of something as basic as the color of his skin.

You weren't sure how long you stood crying. You weren't certain if the knock on the door behind him actually happened or something your mind had conjured to try and pull you from your fit.

Eventually you did pull away from him. Your face covered in snot and tears. Seeing that you still were in need of it, Kyle pulled you back to him, only this time your face wasn't buried into his shirt.

You stood there. His arms wrapped around your back while yours found their home around his waist.

"I used to love when you would come back to my place directly from base as soon as you got back from a deployment." You said, breaking the silence. "I would be waiting like a kid on Christmas waiting to see what trinket made you think of me. You made me feel like even though we were so far away, you still thought about me."

"Always." He said, before his lips pressed against the top of your head. "Not a day I didn't miss being here with you."

The two of you eventually settled down on the couch. Both on opposite ends with a hot cup of tea in your hands and the array of take out containers half empty. You had planned for a night of eating your feelings so there was luckily enough food for two.

"I don't want to say no." You admitted. "But I need time. Before I even think about saying yes to all of this again."

"Not all of this," he reminded. "Just me. I'm doing my part in groveling, let the others figure it out. Or at least that's just what Price told us. Although you would be doing all of us a favor if you talked to Johnny?" Your ears perked up. You hadn't seen or heard from Johnny since Friday.

"What's wrong with Johnny?" You asked.

"Lad didn't cope well with you going on your date." Not that you had fucked him and said it was a mistake.... or maybe he kept that tidbit to himsle.f

"It wasn't a-" you started.

"I know," he said. "Simon happened to be nearby." You shot him a look, letting him know you weren't buying that lie, before he continued. "But he didn't. Fuck you're lucky we were able to drag him out of your apartment before you got back and he made an even bigger fool of himself."

"What are you talking about?" You asked. "What do you mean by drag?"

"Johnny called Simon. Told him you were on a date and to bring your ass back. Although you had made it a point to fuck him and leave-- absolutely no judgement, by the way-- he was going to make it a point to never leave your bed."

"My top sheet..." You had come home to your comforters and pillows on the floor. When making up your bed, the top sheet was missing. You had just assumed you didn't put it on or maybe it was in the wash.

"Refused to put his clothes back on. Me and John couldn't risk carrying a naked, screaming Scot through the streets without making a spectical. So we rolled him up and carried him of like a rug. A very heavy, squirmy rug."

"Oh," your hand flew to your chest. "Johnny." He was the bleeding heart of the group so you weren't exactly surprised. He was also the one who blew up shit, so he was definitely one for dramatics. "So that's how Simon figured out about dinner. But the drinks-"

"Whenever Simon is home, he's your shadow. The only time we don't worry about you is when we know he's with you." That made you roll your eyes.

"You act like he's my guard dog."

"He is."

"Is not." You defended, your conversation from Saturday night coming back to you.

"You're not my body guard, Simon." You snapped.

"Not trying to be," he said. "I was never trying to be."

"He's not." you said again.

"You're right." Kyle relented, shrugging his fucking shoulders.

"You're saying that like you're just not trying to argue with me." He took a sip of your tea. "Kyle!" He sighed before looking at you as if the last thing he wanted to do was continue on the subject.

"He is." He said. "Your guard dog."

"I mean he protects me, but all of you do." He shakes his head, a huff of air going out of his nose, almost amused.

"Not like Simon." He admits it almost as if he were ashamed. "I want to say something." He said it as if he were preparing you for the next words to come out of his mouth would change the course of the night. "I need to say it because it would make me less of a man and even less of a friend if I didn't. But I don't want you to hate me or yourself for it."

Why would you hate yourself for it?

"Fine." you agreed, giving him permission to continue. "I won't hold it against you."

"You were always the one to coordinate things to do. One-on-one dates. Helping John with paperwork when shit got to crazy and you were the only one the uptight asshole would let touch his files." You gave a small smile remembering how John had barked at a recruit to get the fuck out of his office before peppering you with kisses at your arrival. Giving small pecks of appreciation as he explained what he needed you to do and how to do it.

"Helping me after my shoulder injury and staying on my ass about the physical therapy."

"Well someone had to." You countered.

"This past Christmas when Johnny needed to get his sisters gifts so you made a whole day out of it going to see lights and ice skating." Johnny was the proud owner of a freshly bruised tailbone after landing flat on his ass and swearing off skating for the rest of his life. Feckin' ice.

"Okay?" You asked, not really sure where Kyle was headed for this. He had pointed out what a good girlfriend you were, had been. How you had always tried to be helpful and do whatever needed to help your boys out.

He stopped. He looked at you as if he were debating to tell you what he had warned you about. He looked down at the floor before taking his bottom lip in between his teeth.

"Fuck." He muttered.

"Spit it out, Kyle!" You whined, now clueless to what point he was trying to make by all the examples of what a good girlfriend you had been.

He looked at you with the same solemness that a friend looked at another friend before having to call them out on their shit, knowing that the pill they were about to be given would be a hard one to swallow.

"You never did that with Simon."

[moongreenlight]

141 gossiping about Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley for roughly 3,000 words idk titles are hard

Price was the first to notice. Priding himself on being incredibly observant, especially when it came to his boys.

He noticed that whenever they had a break from trainings or meetings, he’d somehow always find the two of you in a room together. Never close enough to give him reason to say anything. You scribbling notes on a patient report at one table, Ghost at another, his chair angled just enough so that he could watch you from the corner of his eye.

Noticed the way Ghost’s hand rested on the small of your back for a heartbeat when you entered a doorway before him. Just a brush of his massive hand on you, quick enough to be mistaken for an accidental touch.

Noticed how Ghost’s eyes seemed to always flick to you from across the mess hall. Not often, but enough for Price to casually turn his head and see that same nurse Ghost seemed to have a preference for.

At first, Price thought he could help by being a wingman of sorts. When Ghost took damage on a mission, Price would escort him to medbay and watch as he dismissed nurse after nurse until you were finally available to treat him. Price lingered as long as he could before you inevitably waved him away, cheekily reminding him you always took good care of his team and that you’d have ‘Lieutenant Riley’ back in no time. The only thing he could catch was the way Ghost’s shoulders relaxed by a hair’s breadth when you drew the curtain shut behind you.

He tried again during a meeting with his boys. Suggesting they bring a medic on a mission with them. Said something about how it would be better to have the option of a patch-up readily available. Keep his team fighting fit in real time instead of having to wait until they came back to base. Price saw the way Ghost tensed slightly in his seat, the muscles in his jaw twitching under his balaclava.

The notion was quickly vetoed. Ghost grumbling something about not wanting to babysit any more than he already does. How it’s ultimately more paperwork he doesn’t want to have to deal with.

He tried once more, going to Ghost’s office one evening. Almost turning tail once he realized how ridiculous it was to be this insistent on figuring out if his Lieutenant had some boyish crush on the sweet nurse he always seemed to be lingering around. But ultimately decided that it was good practice to know more about his team personally. Better bonding meant better interaction on the field, right?

He asked Ghost to redo some paperwork. Add a ‘next of kin’ to his file in the event that something happened and they needed to alert someone. Ghost looked a little suspicious, shrugging off the request.

“Left it off for a reason, Captain.”

He said gruffly, waving a hand. Barely looking up from his desk.

Price pursed his lips, shifting his weight slightly.

“You sure, Simon? Haven’t got anyone that’d be interested to know what happened to you?”

Ghost rubbed the bridge of his nose, like the conversation was more trouble than it was worth, before shrugging once more. Finally looking up from his desk and leaning back slightly in his chair.

“You planning on shipping me off somewhere and not picking me back up?”

A small chuckle from Price. A shake of his head.

“Can’t say I am.”

“Cheers, then. Leave it off.”

This quelled Price’s curiosity for a while, unable to dream up any other reason to try and force Ghost to indulge him. It no doubt hurt his ego a bit, thinking about how his Lieutenant and one of his closest friends was so dead set on keeping his personal life so closely guarded. He’d push the feelings aside, chalk it up to being jaded by his work. Over-involved in the lives of Soap and Gaz. It was probably good for Simon to have something sacred.

Soap wasn’t as easily deterred once he caught on. Not as immediately perceptive as the others, but he knew Ghost well enough to know his tells.

It was after a long mission. Months long. Grueling, shitty, exhausting work. They got back in the early evening, mercifully spared from a debrief until the following day. Soap somehow ended up dragging Ghost to a dive bar a few blocks from base. Trying to sound persuasive when he mentioned that it was a Friday night and they deserved a few drinks and some female attention after all this time going without.

And they did get attention. Two good looking military men sitting at the bar were bound to. Soap knew that Ghost wasn’t one to play the field, but this was a bit frigid even for him. Ignoring girls who came up and tried to strike conversation. Rolling his eyes, or huffing a sigh like it was a chore to even dismiss them, drumming his fingers on the wall of his glass like he’s bored. It was baffling.

What was even more baffling was the way that Ghost’s knee bounced slightly against the stool. An infinitesimally small movement, but the way it caught Johnny’s eye made it seem like Ghost was all but jumping up and down. He looked almost anxious. Itching to get up and leave.

“Fuck’s wrong with you?”

Ghost’s head jerked toward Johnny, cold eyes narrowing in a way that would have been terrifying years ago- before he’d gotten used to it.

“Come again?”

“Got somewhere to be, have you?”

He sounds almost indignant. Like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. Ghost is stand-offish by nature, but this is a caliber he hasn’t yet encountered. Almost enough to be offensive. To make him question the quality of his company.

“Maybe I do. What’s it to you?”

Ghost grumbled, killing the contents of his glass with a final mouthful. Setting it back on the counter and moving to drum his fingers on the bar.

“Been out of the country for months and you expect me to believe you’ve got plans tonight?”

This earned a sigh, low enough to pass as a growl.

“You keeping my social calendar now, then?”

He stood, digging through his wallet for a moment before slapping some cash down on the table next to his empty glass. Not giving Johnny an opportunity to lodge any further complaints against him. Before he nodded his goodnight and slipped out of the bar. Mumbling something about needing to get back to his flat and check on some things.

Soap couldn’t get his mind around it. Ghost was elusive, sure, but again; something seemed off. He was calm, cool, and collected. Wouldn’t be caught dead manifesting his impatience physically. The fidgeting and twitching in his seat. The first place Soap’s mind went was maybe Ghost was dying? That’d be the only reasonable explanation for his behavior. But even then, it seemed a bit extreme.

The next day after the debrief, which was nearly as brutal as the deployment itself, Soap was still so in his head about Ghost’s behavior he almost didn’t notice the pretty nurse who seemed to be waiting for someone at the end of the hall. In fact, he was so stuck in his own mind, he only caught a fleeting glimpse of Ghost’s back rounding the corner with the nurse at his side. Hushed conversation disappearing with them. A softer, much more pleasant voice than Simon’s.

He debated whether or not to follow them, maybe answer the questions that’d been plaguing his mind. Ultimately, he decided in favor of it. Padding down the hall behind the duo who seemed to be headed back to Simon’s office. They weren’t walking closely enough to touch, but Soap immediately picked up on the tension between them. Like the distance was serving some sort of purpose.

Soap lingered in the hallway for a few minutes after the two disappeared into Ghost’s office, trying to sort the pieces of the puzzle he’d barely began collecting. He ultimately decided to go the route he was most comfortable with. Not one for sneaking about, he simply strode up to the office door and swung it open.

You were sat at one of the chairs in front of Simon’s desk, him standing with his arms folded over his chest next to you. Not compromising enough for Johnny’s taste, but he still put on a wide grin and nodded to you.

“Forget how to knock?”

Ghost’s voice was calm enough, but his eyes were shooting daggers straight through Johnny. You looked stiff as a board, chewing the inside of your lip through the tight smile you were giving him.

“Sorry, L.T. Needed to know if you’re still on for trainings this afternoon.”

He didn’t miss the way your eyes flicked to Ghost, communicating something that he couldn’t quite decipher wordlessly before you began studying your nails in your lap.

Ghost cleared his throat, rolling his tongue in his cheek. Growling something obscene under his breath. The agitation rolling off of him in waves.

“No. Got another assignment.”

And with that, Soap was all but thrown from the office. Querying about this ‘new assignment’ the whole way. Simon crowding him to the door until he finally snapped it shut on his nose.

He heard later that day Ghost was seen in medbay with a toolkit swearing at an X-Ray machine that had been giving you trouble for a month. After that, Soap was on the two of you like a fly on shit. Never missing an opportunity to bring you up to Ghost or vise versa. Mock-innocently saying something to Ghost in passing at dinner about you. Asking if he fancied you. When he said no, Johnny shrugged and nodded. Saying he was glad because he had plans to ask you out the next time he was injured.

That comment landed Soap in the bay sooner than expected. Escorting him to a different nurse’s exam area and standing guard the entire time his black eye was being iced. Berating him for not being able to block a few punches when they had sparred after dinner.

And Gaz, sweet boy that he is, was always more emotionally in-tune. Observant about the little things. Able to pick up on queues Soap and Price may have missed over the years. He was keen as he was quiet, keeping all his little discoveries to himself. Over the years, he’d created a small arsenal of moments he wasn’t sure were significant enough to bring up. Things he could have talked himself into imagining if he thought about them hard enough. Not wanting to jump to conclusions about anything.

But he noticed the incredibly subtle tan line on Ghost’s left hand. Noticed the way he tapped his foot impatiently when the debrief after a long deployment ran long. Noticed the way you always seemed to be around the yard when they touched down after a mission. The way your shoulders dropped when you saw all four of them had returned home. Like you had just been relieved the duty of holding up the sky.

He didn’t immediately connect the dots. Initially thinking that you’d just taken a special liking to the task force. They were some of your most frequent visitors, after all. Price had all but claimed you as their own. Specially requesting that you were the only one to patch their wounds, claiming the other nurses couldn’t hold a flame to your skill.

He didn’t mind. Came to enjoy the little chats the two of you had when the curtains around the cot were drawn. The little kikis you had where you chatted about anything and everything. Complaining about your jobs, irritating patients, botched missions, the morsels of gossip from around base.

One day, after a particularly nasty skirmish on a mission, all four of the men had gnarly wounds. You looked a bit more tired than usual. A bit more on-edge. Your answers were a bit more flat than they usually were. So the first part of the assessment was left mostly silent spare for a few soft “thank you’s” on his part.

It was only when you were bandaging a wound on his thigh did he notice the shape of a ring on your left hand under your glove. A thin band that wrapped neatly around your finger.

“Didn’t know you were married, doc.”

It was a passing comment, more just to spare him the agony of trying to hide his soft groans of pain in the thick silence.

You hummed your acknowledgment, focused more on working sutures through his skin neatly than anything else.

“Lucky bloke. Hope he’s good to you.”

It wasn’t flirty or predatory, like so many of the soldiers could be. A genuine thought. He’d always thought you were sweet. Easy to chat with, always offering him a smile and a chirped greeting when the two of you passed in the hall. Thought you deserved someone to share in your kindness.

You smiled, brow still furrowed slightly in your focus while tying off the stitches.

“He does alright.”

You chuckled softly, straightening on your stool and rolling back just slightly so you could meet his eye.

“All these years and you never mentioned. I’m hurt.”

He words came with a practiced ease, slipping back into your usual playful chatter without missing a beat. Flashing a coy grin as he carefully flexed and relaxed his leg. Getting a feel for the newly patched wound.

You rolled the gloves off your hands and tossed them into the bin. Standing from your stool to scribble a few notes on his chart.

“Not something that ever came up.”

“Now it has. He have a name? How long you been together?”

You chuckled once more, looking over your shoulder at him with an arched brow. A little skeptical of his curiosity.

“A good while.”

He noticed the way you evaded his former question, like you’d done it before. It only fueled his curiosity.

“You worried I’ll know him? Or are you embarrassed? Not much of a looker?”

This earned an amused snort from you, turning away from the chart you’d been working on.

“Nothing wrong with wanting to keep my personal life personal, is there?”

You winked at him, pushing open the curtain that divided the small exam area from the rest of the bay.

He made a small sound of protest, making no move to stand from the cot just yet.

“Alright, forget it. Didn’t even want to know anyway.”

He sounded like a child being denied a sweet. Even playing up the act with a small pout on his mouth.

You tutted softly, conjuring up the best mock-sympathetic look you could before motioning for him to stand.

“We’ll talk later. Captain’ll have my hide if I keep you away a moment longer than is necessary.”

Another sound of protest, followed by a throaty groan as he finally pushed up off the bed. Unsure if he was being dramatic or if the aftermath of the mission had truly gotten to him that bad. Always a flare for the dramatics, him.

He muttered his thanks, cupping your shoulder in his hand as he trudged out. Making you promise to have a proper chat with him later.

He lingered in the bay, allowing himself a few moments peace before getting back to work. Just as he finally turned to leave, he saw Ghost moving stiffly- like he was trying to downplay a limp- toward your little exam area. Though for some reason, the scene looked a bit strange to him. He couldn’t help but peek in.

He caught the way you watched him lumber over with big, worried eyes. The way your nails dug into your palms until he was finally within arms reach. The way you quickly glanced around to see if anyone was paying the two of you any attention before your hands flew to his neck, fingers slipping expertly under the hem of his mask and yanking it up over his nose. Not rough or angry, but with the kind of urgency that suggested you may die if you didn’t see a sliver of his skin. Make absolutely certain he was truly there with you.

The most jarring part- Ghost actually allowing you to touch the mask. Allowing your little hands to breach his personal space. Hands that would have easily been dwarfed by his own, swallowed up and twisted or shoved away like he had seen happen so many times in sparring matches with prospect soldiers. But Ghost just let it happen.

It was a flurry of movement, so fast that Gaz was certain he could have blinked and missed it. Frozen watching the two of you from just behind another exam area. Feeling like he was intruding without even meaning to.

And then he saw the way Ghost’s big arms snaked around your waist, drawing you flush to his front. You leaning up onto your toes to bring your face closer to the Lieutenant’s. A fervid kiss. You flinging your arms around his neck. The way your shoulders shook. A small, choked sob that Gaz was all but certain he imagined. Drowned out for everyone else by the sounds of the bay.

He was almost shocked that the world continued to move after that. Shocked that something that seemed so monumental could happen tucked away into your barely private exam area. Shocked that your reunion hadn’t halted time and space for everyone else like it had for the two of you.

He felt dirty. Like he should go up and apologize for lingering and seeing what he saw. But he stayed rooted to the spot, finding it impossible to move.

Truly the most damning part was when he caught the quickest glimpse of your badge just before the curtain was tugged shut. The badge you kept carefully pinned to your uniform face-down for a reason he couldn’t fathom until now. Twisted free for just a moment and finally connecting the snippets of information he’d collected over the years.

(Y/N Riley)

[just4koo]

Hii! How are you doing? Can you please write hurt to comfort with Jungkook, when he walks out to cool off after an argument and Y/n thinks he left her? :)

i'm doing well, i hope you are too! i kinda got carried away on this request and wrote a lott of angst haha... (it hurt my heart)

never go to sleep angry - jjk.

summary: one of the most important rules of your relationship was to never go to sleep angry. when the rule was ignored, it led to an argument and a huge misunderstanding.

word count: 5.0k

genre/warnings: established relationship, a lot of angst, comfort, misinterpreting words, argument between them, y/n feels really shitty, mutual confusion, cute ending though

-- ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ --

There was one rule that you and Jungkook always had set up in your relationship. It was one of the reasons that you two were able to stay together for so long. How you had gotten through so many tough times, arguments, and disagreements. One thing that you two agreed on for the past 4 years you had been together.

Never go to sleep angry.

Even though it seems like something that may not matter too much, it had always worked for you two. Being in a relationship meant disagreeing on things. Relationships could be hard, but loving Jungkook was always easy. He made all of the hard times worth it. There weren't many things the two of you fully argued about because of this one rule. Communication was key in your relationship, and the two of you were always able to deescalate the situations so they wouldn't blow up.

It was the rule until now, it seemed.

If you had realized the way that you were making your boyfriend feel, it could've turned out so different. He hadn't spoke up about it because he knew how stressed you were. Later hours at a job meant that you didn't have time for the things you used to. After covid wiped through the world, your company had taken a huge hit. Budget cuts meant people being laid off of their jobs, and the ones that weren't fired got their work loads doubled, or even tripled.

Your job was a work at home -- returning late from work hadn't been the problem. Even if it was, Jungkook knew. He understood how consuming work could be, but he had been working crazy hours everyday since he was 13. He knew how his schedule worked and how to arrange things to make time between the two of you. This workload was new for you, and so he didn't get angry when you were stuck to your laptop for hours after your scheduled workday ended.

It was more of the way you dealt with the stress that got to him. Being stressed meant that you had been getting more irritable. If he tried talking to you when you were working, he was met with a dry "mhm" or a short look that told him you weren't interested. If he tried actually getting your attention, he would just receive snippy answers. He was trying to be understanding, but that also meant ignoring the most important rule of your relationship. Just like you tried to prevent, everything blew up.

"I've just been stressed out, Jungkook! I thought you said you understood!" You shouted at your boyfriend. What had turned into a simple conversation about him asking if you could spend your free day going on a date for the first time in a couple months had turned into this argument. You wanted to take the single free day off to rest your fingers from typing until your fingers locked up, he finally felt the festering irritation out, and it wasn't turning out pretty.

"I do understand, _____! If anyone does, it's me! You've been thinking about yourself this whole time! I try to be nice, I try to be understanding. You just shut me out! Just because you're stressed out or having a hard time doesn't mean you're allowed to treat me this shitty!" You were almost speechless as you listened to him vent to you about his feelings. You had been trying to justify yourself, but the longer this argument continued, the more you realized how you had been treating him.

"I tried so hard. You only try to push me away now. I've always had draining schedules, but I never took it out on you. I knew that this whole thing was new for you, I gave you time to adjust. But I just can't stand this anymore!" Jungkook groaned, putting his face in his hands. You had become ignorant about how your boyfriend felt, trying too hard to explain why you were treating him this way. He had enough of this. You were angry right now, and anger led to you being irrational.

He knew that he needed to get out of the house before the two of you said anything else you regretted. He didn't want the two of you to be blinded by anger and the best thing to do was to cool down. He tried to take in a deep breath as he turned around to walk towards the coat rack. You watched in disbelief as he started to put on his coat and lace up his shoes. Was he really walking out on the argument?

"Are you serious right now!? You started this argument, and now you're just trying to walk away from it?!" You accused him, crossing your arms over your chest. All Jungkook did was shake his head to himself. If you wanted to be petty, then it was only fair for him to do the same. He wasn't going to let himself be a personal punching bag anymore.

"You're right, I am walking away. I can't do this, ______. Get your shit together." You only scoffed at what he said, rolling your eyes in annoyance. Too consumed by your own pride, you didn't say anything as he left, didn't try to stop him. If he wanted to walk out, that was his problem. You felt like you had an excuse for the way you had been. You hadn't even realized how badly your treatment had gotten.

You spent most of the day grouchy now, too sidetracked to focus on your work. The argument happened pretty early in the afternoon, meaning you got most of the day to think about it. You knew he was going to come back before it was bedtime, or at least you thought you knew. Because it had been the most important rule, right? So you spent the whole day trying to formulate an argument to use against him.

The longer you thought about it though, the more uneasy you felt about the situation. It was growing later and later with every passing minute, and there was no sign of your boyfriend. No text or call, no jingling of his keys in the doorway, not even a text from his brother asking what had happened. Him and his brother were very close. He was usually the person Jungkook went to whenever you got into arguments, and his brother had even helped the two of you. He always texted when Jungkook showed up at his place, but there were no notifications.

You had already taken your nightly shower and was sitting on the bed in silence, huffing to yourself. He was being too petty, you thought. Why couldn't he just understand that you were busy? He was one of the busiest people in the world after all, he should be understanding that you didn't have hours of the day to dedicate to your relationship anymore like you used to be able to do.

While stuck in your thoughts, you sort of froze. He was one of the busiest people in the world. He had countless shoots for music videos, songs, magazines, variety shows. Your boyfriend was a member of one of the most renowned music bands. He spent almost everyday practicing and even spent nights in the studio trying to perfect things. If anyone knew what it was like to live a busy life, it would be him. You'd seen how busy his schedules, how full they were. He had something almost everyday. 

Yet he still made time for you.

You recounted all the times he had come home tired from work or exhausted from a performance. The days he returned with a frustrated or irritated expression from something that happened at work. Not one of those times did he ever take it out on you. He never let things that happened outside your relationship affect how he treated you. Before covid happened, he would be gone even more. Even though he had more time after the pandemic, things were getting back into motion.

He shared how overwhelmed he had been with everything. 2020 had been a break that he didn't even know he needed. He loved his fans, loved his band. But even then, he was still human. Not a machine that could work and be pushed through his schedules. When everything shut down, it meant him also being locked in his house and quarantined from everything. Now that there had been vaccinations and the urgency of the virus had died down, he was thrown right back into everything he had gotten used to being away from.

He had an album releasing soon, and it was taking a lot from him to get back into the flow of things. But he never blamed you for it. Before your job had you working crazy hours, he never got angry whenever you called him during his practices or came to surprise him at his workplace, taking away from his rehearsal time. Because it wasn't your fault for wanting to spend time with him or see him.

A pit was beginning to form in your stomach as you stared down at your lap. All of those times where you interrupted him from his work, you never realized how frustrating it could feel. Not until now when you were also working hard to produce quality work. You thought about all of the times he might've been irritated because he was trying to practice or so close to getting something right, and you came to stop him.

Yet every time he saw you, he was so excited and treated you with love. Even if you were distracting him from his job of performing in front of millions, even billions. Yet you had been doing the exact opposite. You were blaming him for wanting to spend time with you. Mad at him just because he wanted some time with his girlfriend. Fuck, you had been an idiot. Created an unnecessary argument just because you forgot to appreciate him.

You immediately reached for your phone, pressing the contact at the top of your favorites list. It was late now, almost 9pm, and you were worried. You wanted to at least see when he was coming home so you could be sure to stay up until then. You wanted to follow through with your number one rule and wait for him. You wanted to be waiting by the door when he came through to apologize to him.

Frowning when the call immediately went to voicemail, you were almost sent into a stupor. He always answered your calls, no matter what. It was strange for the phone go straight into voicemail, because in his car he always had a phone charger. One quick glance out of your window was the confirmation you needed, he did take his car. 

He had his charger with him. Did that mean he was ignoring your calls then? The phone didn't even ring before it went to voicemail, quicker than any person could decline a call. You weren't someone who worried too easily, but whenever something didn't feel right it made you extremely anxious. This was one of those moments right now. There was something off about the whole situation and you didn't know.

You tried his phone at least two more times, and the same thing happened. Not even a single ring. Every time you were met with the voicemail the two of you had recorded together a couple years ago, the giggling one you recorded with him saying that if he wasn't answering the call, he was probably too busy with his beautiful girlfriend. Your heart hurt when you heard that. How much things had changed scared you.

You went to text him, sending a few messages asking if he was okay. You stared down at the notice that the message had failed to send, the frown in your face getting even deeper. You went back into your contacts app, calling his brother instead. To your short relief, the phone was ringing. But after a few long rings, the phone also went to voicemail. You felt the urge to throw your phone at the wall but instead just cursed under your breath.

You weren't even sure how slow or fast the time was passing right now. All you could do was blankly stare down at your phone, hoping for a call. Had the argument been that bad? Was he really not going to come home after 4 years of sticking to that rule? The clock was nearing 12AM now and you were fidgeting nervously. Going over the argument over and over in your mind again. One particular line suddenly caught your attention.

"You're right, I am walking away. I can't do this, ______."

Your heart practically dropped as you remembered that. It was something you overlooked in the moment because you had been so angry with him, so consumed by your own pride. Those were words he never said to you. Sure, he had left the house a few times to cool down when arguments got too heated. But he would always leave with a reminder that he would be back before dark, that he was going to his brother's house.

Did you really ruin the relationship? All because you had been too focused on your work? You could feel your heart beginning to pound in your chest. He told you that he was walking away from you, that he wasn't going to do this anymore. This, as in the relationship? And you didn't do a thing to stop him when he left. You were so stupid.

Now all of the worst thoughts were going through your mind. Any rationality was leaving you. The calls weren't going through still. Had he blocked you? That was the only conclusion you were believing at the moment. You had been treating him like he was a nuisance for the past few months even though he had always been nothing but loving towards you no matter how crazy his schedule became.

You had been ignoring him whenever he wanted to do something with you or tell him something that had happened during his work. You had taken the small amount of free days you got and spent time relaxing and focusing on yourself rather than spending time with the person you loved more than anything, the person who loved you more than anything. You forgot that a relationship was about loving someone even through hard times.

Any hope you had for yourself was draining as you dug yourself into an even deeper hole. You were someone who worried a lot, but it was something that Jungkook had always helped you work out. Without him here, the problems were coming right back. Especially because this was about him. You had been an asshole of a girlfriend and he had enough. He left, walked out, and blocked you.

All of the years in your relationship felt like they were coming back at once. All of the years you spent together. Loving each other unconditionally. You comforting him whenever he was anxious and insecure, him surprising you with date nights or coming home from trips early to spend time with you. Spending his free days surprising him with things like his favorite dinner. You guys argued as well, but it was what happened in any healthy relationship.

This didn't feel like an argument anymore. Usually they would be resolved, this just felt like the end. You were a shitty girlfriend and he could probably find anyone much better. There were so many girls out there who admired him like a god, who would treat him as such. Girls who didn't take who they got for granted until it was too late and they had already gone.

He left. He was really gone. Those words kept repeating in your mind, and yet it felt like everything was a dream. It felt like you couldn't breathe at the moment. You were the reason this happened. The panic attack was coming quicker than you could stop it, and it was hitting at full force. The clock read 2AM by now. You had been sitting in the bed since 8PM waiting for him to walk into the bedroom. He wasn't coming.

Your whole world was crashing in on itself. Tears were welling up inside your eyes as you laid back on the bed, not feeling enough strength to hold yourself upright again. As you laid down on the bed, you were greeted with the smell of your boyfriend. Was he even your boyfriend anymore? His scent flooded your senses, the familiar smell you'd grown to love so much over the years. It was your breaking point.

With shaky hands you grabbed the blanket, hugging it to your body as the sobs started. Your whole body was trembling with them, curled up as you tried desperately to grasp onto what you felt like was the last of your relationship. The only thought in your mind was that all of this was your fault. Like the ignorant person you were, you lost the most important person to you.

You felt like you would do anything to fix this. To just get one more chance to see him. You would beg at your knees if you needed. Anything to promise him that you would be a better girlfriend to him. But he wasn't going to give you another chance. You only realized now how insignificant your work seemed when he left you. You'd been too distracted by your work that you forgot about the one thing that was more important.

You wanted to do so many things. Scream, throw your laptop at the wall, go out and look for him. But you just couldn't. The realization you felt, the pit in your stomach, the overwhelming sense of guilt. It was all too much for you to move a single limb. You felt overly nauseous, like you would throw up if you moved. 

You weren't someone that was completely dependent on Jungkook. You didn't need him to go about your day correctly. You could spend time apart with him. It was something you actually got used to with him going off on tours. But at this moment, it felt like your world was caving in on you. He was the one person who was always there for you no matter what, and now you had to come to terms with that changing. You sobbed even harder as you realized that.

This was the state that Jungkook saw as he walked back into the house. He knew that he had been gone for a long time, well over 12 hours. He had been cooling off by himself. He didn't even know how long he'd been out. His brother had been gone on vacation, meaning that he didn't have a place to go to. He didn't want to bother his bandmates with his relationship problems, so he could only think of one thing.

He spent the whole day hiking. One of the things he had done as a child growing up in Busan, it was something that helped him clear his mind. He drove a couple hours to the mountains and spend a big majority of the day in the nature. He had no service when he was out there, which helped him refrain from calling you before he had the opportunity to sort out his thoughts.

It had been well past nightfall when he got back down the mountain and he hadn't even realized how late it was. Not until he gained his signal back after he spent even longer at the small village by the bottom of the mountain. He had spent quite a while speaking to some of the elders that he lost track of time and saw it was nearly midnight. He had quickly said goodbye and promised to visit again before leaving.

It was only when he had gotten back onto the main highway that his signal returned and the notifications flooded his phone. He frowned as he looked at all of the missed calls from you, the worried texts. Your most recent one was the most concerning one, one that you had sent just twenty minutes prior.

"i'm sorry i was so shitty. i can pack all of my stuff and be gone in the morning."

He was confused as to why you were texting him that. Why were you packing your stuff and talking about leaving? He tried to call you multiple times, but none of the calls picked up. His own panic was building up as he stepped on the gas, speeding more than he would've liked to admit. It was a two hour drive back and right now he was cursing himself for picking a place so far away. 

You usually never called or texted him when you were separated to cool down from arguments, so he knew that something was different this time. He couldn't think of what was different this time, what had happened that led to you saying that you would be packing up to leave. Was he too harsh on you? Should he have just pushed the problem off even more?

You didn't even register the sound of the door opening, too consumed by your grief. Jungkook had rushed into the apartment, looking around for you. He checked the living room first, and then went straight to the bedroom. He stopped completely in his tracks when he saw you. Curled up on the bed into a ball, clutching your shared blanket to your chest, shaking with quiet and violent sobs.

For a few moments he could do nothing but stare at the sight. Wondering if he really had been too hard on you. He didn't think that his words were too harsh when he was saying them. He had only been speaking his feelings. But as he watched you right now, he felt his heart shattering. He never wanted this. He regretted ever saying anything.

You jumped as you felt a hand lay on your shoulder. Your eyes were swollen from all of your crying, you could barely make out the sight of Jungkook knelt down beside you, frowning with immense concern. You almost couldn't believe that he was right in front of you. Your sobs died down a bit as the two of you stared. You were the first one to break down.

"J-Jungkook, I'm so sorry. I was too consumed with my work and I didn't realize how shitty I treated you. You were right. You've always been so busy with work and you never treated me the way I treated you. I was so stressed by my job that I let it out on you. I was such a bad girlfriend, and I understand why you don't want to be with me anymore. I'm just sorry I didn't notice how bad I was." The way you spoke with small sniffles almost broke his heart and distracted him from what you said.

After he processed his words, his frown only deepened. Why were you speaking to him like this? Saying that you would pack all of your stuff, that he didn't want to be with you anymore, that you were a bad girlfriend? All of his anger was completely gone now and at the moment he just felt extremely confused along with distraught from how destroyed you looked.

"Baby, what are you talking about? Why are you saying all of this?" Jungkook asked with pure bewilderment in his tone. This made you look back at him with an equally confused expression. You weren't expecting this response from him. He seemed like he genuinely didn't know what you were talking about and it made you question everything.

"But.. you blocked me. You said that.. that you couldn't do this and were walking away?" You questioned, your voice cracking with how weak it was after sobbing. Jungkook tilted his head a bit as he tried to recall when he ever said that. After going through the argument in his head, the realization hit him. His eyes widened as he recalled what he said in the heat of the moment. He hadn't clarified what he meant and you had been left alone for however many hours thinking that he had ended the relationship.

"______, I know how those words seemed, but that's not at all what I meant. I was saying that I couldn't do the argument, not the relationship. I would never end things off. I only said I was walking away so I could cool off." Jungkook explained as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Not at all irritated by you, but instead angry at himself. He had only said what he was feeling in the heat of the moment and left.

"What about your phone..? None of my calls went through." You asked him, your voice still full with hurt and doubt. He felt terrible for even making you think for a moment that he wanted to end the relationship. Even though he had been pissed off, he would never end the relationship like that in the heat of the moment. Even enraged he knew it would be the worst mistake he would ever make.

"I went to the mountains to hike and get everything off my mind. My brother is on vacation so that's why I didn't go to him. The place I went had no service and so none of the calls or texts could've gotten through." He told you, and your eyes slightly widened. He was really telling the truth? He didn't want to break up with you? At this point you just felt like you had fallen asleep and this was all a dream.

To confirm this was real, you couldn't hold yourself back anymore and reached out for him, and he wasted no time. He sat down on the bed next to you and pulled you right into his arms. Your body froze as you felt his familiar warmth, smelled his scent with the addition of the smell of nature he'd been around all day. This was real. He wasn't leaving you.

The tears instantly started falling from your eyes, but it was different this time. It was relief. You spent so long crying because you thought he had broken up with you, but it all ended up being a misunderstanding. He wasn't leaving you and you had nothing to worry about. In the past 12 hours it felt like your life had completely ended, but it hadn't.

Jungkook held you closely to him, his fingers carding through your slightly tangled hair while his other hand rubbed small circles into your back. He rested his head on the top of yours, knowing that it was better for you to just get all of your feelings out. Even though nothing made him feel worse than knowing he was the reason that you were crying like this, it was better for you to just let it all out so it didn't bottle up. He had been doing that for the past few months and it turned out like this.

You didn't know how long you had been laying like that in his arms, but when you were finally able to stop crying, you noticed the beginnings of light peeking through the windows. The whole time Jungkook was there for you, whispering sweet things to help you calm down. How much he loved you, how he wasn't going to leave you, that he wasn't angry with you. Anything he could think of to help you calm down.

When you finally had a level enough mind to fully process everything, you felt so much relief. But you still felt the same guilt from before. You were the one that disregarded what he felt and now he was comforting you after an argument that was your fault. You needed to say something to him, to apologize and promise that you would be better. There was no way that you were ever going to let your work consume you again.

"I know I already said this, but I want to say that I'm so sorry. I was so stressed out with my new hours that I got angry and irritated whenever you just wanted to spend time with me. I never should've done that and I realize now how much I took you for granted. You've always made the time for me and I should've done the same for you. I know now how wrong and unfair I was being to you, and I want to be better." You said to him, your voice filled with regret.

Jungkook smiled lightly when he heard your apology. There was no longer any anger in his eyes. No resentment. To him, that was all in the past now. He could hear the sincerity in every word you said. After all, this was the reason that he had started dating you. You were so sweet and considerate towards others. You just needed to realize what you were doing wrong. You were distracted and didn't know you were bring rude.

"It's okay, my love. I know how stressful it's been for you and I'm not angry anymore. I understand how you feel and I accept your apology. I know you didn't realize how you were treating me." Jungkook replied, putting his fingers under your chin so he could tilt your head up to look at him. Even with your red, puffy eyes and runny nose you were so beautiful to him. He gently kissed the tip of your nose before resting his forehead against yours.

"I love you so much. Thank you for always being the best." You mumbled, closing your eyes as you took the time to let yourself bask in the moment. Letting go of all doubts that you felt previously. There was no reason to dwell on this argument, because you knew that you wouldn't make this mistake anymore going on.

"I love you too, always. No matter what happens." Jungkook replied with a bit of reassurance in his tone. You smiled as he said those words to you, leaning forward to close the small gap between the two of you. You were fully calmed down as your lips met and any thoughts that you had melted away in the moment. Everything was okay in this moment. 

Even though this argument had been rough, the two of you had stuck to your most important rule. The two of you went to sleep shortly afterwards, no more feelings of anger or resentment. You would never go to bed angry anymore, realizing just how important that rule was.

[suuuupernovaaa]

zeykoyu

zeykoyu [zɛj.ˈko.ju] n. healer

Anonymous Request: I would like to request a Neteyam x Na'vi reader with the "you'll never be her trope", where reader is promised to Neteyam, but he loves another. He is sort of a shitty asshole to her, a girl who is a quiet not very well known member of the clan; he treats reader with the coldest shoulder. However, he overhears the girl talking to her friends about how she just using Neteyam to gain status in the clan. He then sees reader for the caring person she is, and grovels for forgiveness.

I have resigned myself to my fate.

In what feels like a very short amount of time, I will be mated for life before Eywa, to a man who does not love me. In fact, he barely seems to tolerate me.

He looks at me with disappointment, and sometimes, it even looks like he feels disgusted by me.

It wasn't always this way. Neteyam used to be a friend, and someone I trusted. He was so kind and good-hearted when we were younger, but he has turned his back on me and come to resent our pairing.

As if it is my choice! I am the next Tsahik of our people, and he the next Olo'eyktan. We are promised to each other from youth, and there's nothing either of us can do that would not cause much upset in the clan, and with our families.

Though Neteyam clearly does not want to be mated to me, even more than that, he does not want to upset his family.

The change in his heart happened just a year ago, and it was slow at first. We went from friends to acquaintances to strangers, and now to near enemies, because of her.

I don't really blame her, though. He fell in love with her, and she can't control that. I felt jealous at first, but over time, as Neteyam has treated me more and more coldly, I have started to hate both of them.

If I'm being honest, I understand why he loves her; she is beautiful, and funny, and many men have had their eyes on her. I am plain, and small, and not many people speak to me. She does seem a better match for someone like Neteyam, and I almost wish we could be free of this pairing.

As much as Neteyam does not want to disappoint his family, I don't want to disappoint our people; I am a talented healer and I will serve our people well as Tsahik.

So I have resigned myself to my fate.

Our fate.

--

Neteyam watches Sa'me from a distance, as she approaches the center of home tree with her friends, dropping off a full fishing net from a day's work.

His heart swells with pride at the woman he loves, and then, he gets angry. These two feelings always accompany each other.

Love and adoration for Sa'me, and disappointment towards his fate. It doesn't matter who he loves; he's promised to Y/N, and he can't get out of it. That's just not how it works.

She is the next Tsahik and he knows, despite how he wants things to be, that she will be an excellent Tsahik for their people. He has to put the people before himself.

But he does not have to be happy about it.

He approches Sa'me and her friends, but their backs are to him as they empty their nets, and as he gets closer, he hears their conversation.

"Aren't you worried, about his upcoming mating ceremony?" one friend asks.

To his surprise, Sa'me laughs. "No! I have gotten what I wanted, and I am relieved it will end soon."

He stops in his tracks, listening closely.

"Sa'me!" a friend chastises.

"Well, I have three offers for my hand, from fine men. I owe that to Neteyam. When they knew he wanted me, that made them want me. I think I'll pick Marek - he's handsome and strong. Neteyam is nice, but too boring for me. Plus, the way he's treated Y/N since we started spending time together... I almost feel bad for her. She will have a miserable life."

The girls laugh, and Neteyam spins on his heel, charging away.

--

He expects sympathy from his sister, but earns only an eye-roll when he tells Kiri what he overheard.

"Well, she's right. You knew you were promised and pursued Sa'me anyway, even though it was kind of obvious what she was doing. And you have been an asshole to Y/N. She's really nice to still put up with you - to even speak with you. You've treated her like dirt the last year, and she's never said a mean thing about you. Even though, she would be right to do it."

Neteyam stares at his sister, slack jawed, unsure whether to feel angry or guilty. A fine mixture of both rises in his chest, and he sighs.

"You used to be friends with her, you know. She's so sweet, and so kind. She's only putting up with your behavior so she can be Tsahik, and not because she cares about the title. She wants to help the People, and knows she'll be able to if she's Tsahik. She just has to marry an asshole to do it."

"Okay, okay," Neteyam says, waving his hand in the air, begging his sister to stop.

"Well, I just don't feel bad for you, Teyam. You need to grow up and deal with what you did."

He rolls his eyes, but he can't deny it: Kiri is right.

--

Without her noticing, Neteyam starts to watch Y/N as much as he can from that day in. Her daily routine is simple. She rises early, and heads into the forest to gather supplies she can use in her healing practice. Once she's done, she begins going around to people who she knows need her help, in and out of their homes all day, gaining hugs and smiles and thanks wherever she goes.

She is soft-spoken, and kind hearted, and her small stature only serves to make her seem more gentle, more dispositioned for healing.

He sees the way people look at her as she approaches - they look at her with relief, and hope, and when she leaves, she leaves people better than she found them.

Neteyam feels sick to his stomach.

He tries to remember what it is about Sa'me that drew him in. He sees her beauty, he can't deny it still, but it's clear now that her beauty is only on the surface.

Did she ever compliment him? Support him? Offer him a kind word?

He can't even remember what they talked about... for a year.

"Neteyam?"

He turns from the tree he's leaning against and sees Y/N approaching, a large basket in her arms.

"You look ill. Are you okay?"

Neteyam wants to tell her he's fine, that she should leave, but he feels light-headed and instead, he sinks to the ground, a sweat breaking out on his brow.

"I'm... okay. My head feels light."

She kneels in front of him, rummaging through her basket. She pours a few things in a cup, and mixes them together with a powder.

"Here," she says, handing it to him. He takes it, his hands touching hers for a second, and he's struck by how small her hands are.

She's so delicate, like a flower, and he has certainly done his best to trample all over her.

The shame he feels is unlike anything he's ever felt before.

The drink is bitter, but it starts working almost immediately, and the faint feeling begins to fade.

"Thank you, Y/N," he says, handing the cup back to her. She takes it with a small smile and a nod, and rises to leave. Neteyam reaches out, grabbing her arm. "Wait."

She turns, frowning down at him. He stands up.

"I want to apologize to you, Y/N. I have been... terrible. I have neglected you, and I have been an asshole. I'm sorry. I would like to start again."

She tilts her head to the side and narrows her eyes, staring deep into him. He wonders if she can see his soul.

--

Of all of the things I thought Neteyam wanted to say to me, 'I'm sorry' was not even on the list.

My instinct is to tell him to go to tell, but there is such a strange look on his face... he still looks sick, and sad, and a little bit ashamed.

Well, he should be. But also - what choice do I have? If Neteyam is offering me a chance to make the best of this situation, shouldn't I take it?

I remember how I felt about him once. Hopeful, excited, nearly in love... but that feeling is so far away now. I'm not sure if there's even a possibility of re-gaining it.

But, it seems smart to try, if we are to have any chance at a happy life.

"Okay," I reply finally. "But I don't think Sa'me will appreciate it."

Neteyam hangs his head for a moment, and then meets my eyes again. "What she appreciates does not matter. You are to be my mate. You are all that matters."

He places a hand over his heart.

I would like to trust him, but it's going to take more than one conversation where he says the right things.

--

It seems I cannot get rid of Neteyam now. When I gather supplies in the morning, he is there. When I make my rounds in the village, he is there. He is always... there.

Not silently, either. He is full of questions. Everything I do and say, he has a question about. If it wasn't endearing, it would be exhausting.

After a week of this, he asks me to take a ride on our ikrans with him - and I can't say no. I have been so busy working lately, that it sounds like a wonderful and welcome break.

Early in the morning, we head out together, and take one of the longest rides I've ever been on. In the air, we twist and turn and glide together, and all the while, Neteyam is whooping and throwing me ear-to-ear smiles.

He gestures to a nearby cave in the floating rocks, and we land together, dismounting. We are both wind-burnt, but smiling.

"I must ask you something," I say.

"Anything," Neteyam replies, chest heaving from the effort of riding.

"Why did you change your mind? About Sa'me?"

His face darkens, and he sighs. "I overheard her talking about how being seen with me has gotten her offers from many fine potential mates, and she doesn't care that I'm promised to someone else."

I wince. Even if Neteyam is a jerk, I don't think anyone deserves to be used like that.

"I'm sorry, Neteyam. Though, that does explain your sudden... interest."

He shakes his head. "No. After I heard what Sa'me said, I went to Kiri and she, uh, pointed out what an asshole I've been. She also pointed out how kind and smart and talented you are, probably to let me know, uh, what an asshole I've been. So I started kind of, uh, watching you. And I realized she was right."

"About what?"

"Well, I am an asshole but... you are the most kind-hearted woman in this clan. And you did not try to withdraw from our match because you deserve to be Tsahik. Not for the title, but because you are best suited to serve our people. You care about them more than yourself. You're selfless. And beautiful. And I was blind to think anyone could be better suited for me."

I bite my lip, and take a step back. "Neteyam, that all sounds very nice, but I..."

He steps forward, reaching out and taking both of my hands in his. "It isn't enough. I know that, Y/N. I don't expect our problems to be solved now. I just want a chance to prove to you, who I really am. What a good mate I can be for you. I can make you happy. I want to. It's all I want."

I can feel the tears gathering in my eyes, and I blink hard to keep them at bay. "I always thought so highly of you, Neteyam. I want us to be happy. I want to try."

He squeezes my hand tightly, pulling me to him.

"I will make you happy. I promise you, Y/N. Please, let me kiss you."

I hesitate for only a moment. The look in his eyes is so sincere, and his eyes fall down to my lips for just a moment, then back up to my eyes, and I can't resist. Everything I want seems to be within my grasp.

He places his hands around my waist, and pulls me in.

"Say yes," he whispers. I can't find my voice, but I nod.

The kiss is explosive. A year of anger, frustration and want packed into one kiss. My body is flush to his, and I feel the tears spilling over, but I can't stop them, and I don't want to pull away.

It feels too good.

I put my hands in his hair, gripping tightly, sighing against his lips, and he groans.

Finally, we pull away, and stare at each other, both breathless.

"I will make you happy, healer," he whispers.

I might believe him now.

[unluckilyimnot]

Hii!! Hope you're doing well, i just discovered you and im OBSESSED with your posts. Idk if you saw the chapter 260 leaks yet, so if you dont wanna get spoiled, please read this request after reading the new chapter. I wanted to request some headcanons for ness, kaiser, reo and bachira where they are dating the reader and the readers parents basically sees them as their son (my parents are just like that for my older sisters boyfriend and they call him their son. Even invite him over for vacations and family dinners everytime. I think its really cute🥹💕) I was thinking of this request especially for kaiser after seeing his backstory. Feel free to ignore if you want to. Also thank you for your posts i LOVE the way you write💕

S/o with a welcoming family - Reo, Kaiser, Bachira, Ness

m.list | rules

Note : hi thank you for your request! You're so sweet thank you dear ♡ You don't know but that's a sensible point for myself and the day you send this I spend the night crying about my shitty parents

Kaiser

He's shocked the first time he meets your parents

He's not the type to feel comfortable around parental figure for obvious reasons

Your parents welcoming him like he belongs here touch him in a way he can't explain

He's invited more and more, your mom rely on him when she needs help and so does your dad, it's all new to him

If you have a rather intimate and physical touch is a norm, he's probably shocked at first

It has nothing to do with you and the way you touch him, yet he feels like crying the first time your mother hugged him

He's probably less cocky since he doesn't feel the need to do so around them

It just became a safe place, just after you

Ness

With you and how you talk about your parents, he already thinks that he can get along with them

But when your mom mentions how she loves books/movies he can't help but talk about what he likes as well !

He would probably be closer to her in that sense but he does his best for your dad to like him as well

He likes to help around so he's accepted really soon

If you have younger siblings he LOVES to spend time with them !!

It's endearing and you know how bad he needs it

Bachira

He'll bring so much joy to your parents

Particularly if your an only child

Seeing you with someone so childish will probably heal sometignf in them, you seem so happy and joyful

Bachrira would feel weird at first to be treated like you are but will comes to love it

He loves your parents a lot

To the point where he'll even celebrate his birthday with your family once in a while

He's never been welcome somewhere like this, it will heal something inside of him as well for sure

Reo

He's always welcome with hugs or your father's gently patting his back

He learn what it is to be listened to

He's used to speak without people listening to him so the first time your parents answer and go on the same conversation as him, he'll feel seen

His jaw clenched but a genuine smile will form on his lips

They're just like you are, warm and welcoming

Your dad LOVES him so much

They can talk together for hours and you love to see him this comfortable around your family

If you have siblings, they love him I just know it they told me

You can tell how radiant he is and it makes you glad you introduced him

He's always welcome with hugs or your father's gently patting his back

[atinylittlepain]

alright hear me out. you’re secretly in love with joel. and joel is ridiculously attracted to you and he’s so protective of you and has this massive crush that he refuses to acknowledge. but Tess can totally tell and either

a. she is super jealous and annoyed about it. she confronts joel in some way and maybe treats you shitty. but joel totally calls her out and basically admits that he does like you.

b. she wants you two to get together. and tries to force you two to spend more time alone with each other and maybe she confronts joel and you walk in on their convo or she just tells you outright that joel is into you but will never admit it.

tesscue part two! i love it

Better Off

Joel Miller x f!reader

joel miller masterlist

Joel's trying to keep his distance from her. But Tess has other plans for him and the girl he's trying so hard to forget about.

warnings | 18+ canon-typical violence, angst, feelings

a/n | this can be read as a standalone or as a part two to Looking, either way it's fun :)

.................................

She would never admit it, but she’s disappointed that things haven’t changed all that much with Joel, not since that night he came looking for her and all but murdered that guard that had been giving her trouble. Not since she kissed him on the cheek and told him how she feels about him.

He still won’t really talk to her, not unless it’s business. But now that she’s working almost entirely with Tess, even those opportunities are few and far in between. When they do speak, he keeps his eyes anywhere but on her. His hands in his lap, the laces of his boots, something just over her shoulder, but he never quite meets her gaze. More than anything, she feels embarrassed that she had been so forward with him that night. She had thought that he felt similarly, with the way he was blushing like a teenager at her flirting, but now it seems pretty clear that Joel Miller wants nothing to do with her outside of their business partnership. 

She’s trying to not let it get to her, but her mind can’t help needling at it. Does he think she’s too young for him? Too talkative? Too crass? She flits away these questions easily, but her mind always settles on the fear that Joel just doesn’t take her seriously, not really. So, she’s resigned herself to the reality that her little crush is going to have to stay just that, focusing on her work with Tess as a distraction from him. 

While Joel may be getting more distant, she and Tess have become quick friends in their work establishing a new trade partner right on the border of Vermont, often staying up late into the night when the talk shifts from smuggling routes to loose gossip and life. Joel had often passed by them, sitting at the kitchen table in his apartment, grumbling to himself before closing his bedroom door with a definitive thud. Tess would always apologize for her “dumbass associate,” and she would just shrug, trying not to take his clear hostility personally, though it sure seemed to be directed toward her. A few months passed like that, and with each day she convinced herself a bit more that she didn’t care about Joel Miller. 

With summer creeping in, it’s just about time for Joel and Tess to make another seasonal trip out to Bill and Frank, and when she gets back to his apartment a few nights before they’re supposed to go, she’s surprised by the conversation he and Tess are having.

“Then we’ll just push it back.” Tess shakes her head in her hand where she’s sitting at the kitchen table.

“We can’t, Joel. Bill and Frank are already skittish as it is, if we go changing dates on them it’s just gonna raise their hackles.” Joel looks at her blankly, slumping back in his chair.

“Then you gotta push that meeting back instead.” Tess scoffs.

“I can’t. It’s time sensitive what I got worked out with Marlene. It’s now or never. You gotta go to Bill and Frank’s without me. She can go with you.” Her mouth goes dry when Tess nods over to where she’s still standing in the doorway, and her stomach twists when Joel is so quick to protest against the idea.

“Tess, I’m not going with her.” Tess looks ready to smack him upside the head, but she interjects, walking further into the room and fixing him with a steely look.

“What? You don’t think I can handle it, Miller? Well I can assure I manage just fine out there. Been running the route to Vermont nearly every week so don’t worry about me. I’ll go with you, and you’ll be lucky to have me along for the trip.” She shocks even herself with that outburst, but obviously not as much as Joel whose mouth is hanging open, eyes wide as he looks at her. Tess claps her hands together, startling him out of his surprised stupor.

“Well, that settles that. Thanks for taking on asshole duty, I owe you one.” Tess grins at her as Joel scoffs at her words. She however, is starting to realize exactly what she just signed up for.

It’s going to be a long hike.

…

Her mind has been swirling ever since they left the QZ. Now, pacing back and forth outside the hollowed-out gas station that Joel is rummaging through for supplies he had stashed, she keeps replaying the conversation she had overheard the night before between him and Tess. She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but when she heard Tess say her name, she had stopped in her tracks, leaning back behind the door frame of Joel’s bedroom to listen in.

“Joel, you’re being fucking ridiculous.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tess laughed at that.

“Oh, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re gonna scare her away with the way you treat her, is that what you want?”

“No. I just– just don’t care to be around her, that’s all.” Her heart dropped at that, but Tess was quick to reply.

“Well I don’t believe that for one second. It’s kinda hard to scowl at someone while you’re also giving them puppy dog eyes. Joel, it’s pretty fucking clear that you’re sweet on her. And I know for a fact that she’s had a little thing for you too. But if you keep treating her like shit, whatever chance you have left with her is gonna be gone. Or worse, you’re gonna cost me my best business partner.” A heavy silence fell after Tess’ rant, Joel clearing his throat a few times before he answered.

“Look, it’s better off this way. She’s better off not getting– tangled up with me. Fuck– I’ll try to be– polite, I guess. Not gonna lose you a business partner, but it’s better for everyone if I keep my distance. She’ll get over it– tough as nails, that one. It’s better for her, Tess. Alright?” Tess sighed.

“Fine. But I still think it’s a shame that you’re just throwing away a chance at something actually good in this world.”

She had scurried out of his apartment at the sound of their conversation dying out, and ever since, her mind has been replaying it on an infinite loop. It had shocked her, hearing Joel all but openly admit that he had been harboring his own feelings for her. But that shock quickly rolled over to dismay that it was made explicitly clear that he wasn’t going to do anything to act on those feelings.

“You good?” She’s startled out of her thoughts by Joel shouldering his way out of the gas station, wordlessly passing her one of the guns he had stashed before. She nods as they already step back into stride, turning back to continue following the highway toward Bill and Frank’s. 

Their hike so far has been quiet, save for monosyllabic communication, and the silence is starting to get to her, just enough that she finally opens her mouth. Anything’s better than staying stuck in her head.

“Joel? Can I ask you a question?” He hums out a reluctant permission, his head tilting slightly to look at her as they keep walking.

“What did you do before– well, before?” She knows he doesn’t like talking about the past, and judging by the way his face screws up at her question, she guesses he might not even answer, but she’s so sick of conversations about FEDRA guards and trade routes. She’d give anything to talk about something normal.

When he doesn’t answer, she sighs.

“Oh c’mon. We’ve got like another four hours of walking, might as well fill the time with something.” Still nothing, his eyes staying fixed forward on the crumbling road ahead of them. She huffs.

“Well I was a nurse– ER, if you can believe it.” That seems to pique his interest, finally glancing at her.

“Were you on shift when everything–?” She nods to his trailing off question.

“Sure was. Booked it out of there when my patients started taking bites out of doctors. Pfft, I remember one of my coworkers refusing to leave because she was worried about getting paid for her overtime.” She lets out a weak laugh, shaking her head at the strange memory. Joel clears his throat.

“I was a contractor. Me and my brother had a little business– building homes, that type of stuff. It was, um, good work.” She offers him a smile, surprised when he offers her one back. The moment is short lived however, when two infected come darting out of the treeline. 

It’d be foolish to waste ammo, both of them scrambling to pull out knives. She makes quick work of the one coming up on her, turning to see Joel struggling on the ground with the other. But before she can help him, she gets tackled to the ground by another screeching infected, her knife skittering out of her hand at the impact. She rolls on the ground with the snarling creature, fighting back its snapping jaws as best she can, though it continues to press closer and closer into her. And then its body goes slack over her, and she can’t help the stifled shriek she lets out when it slumps heavy on top of her. Her whole body trembles as she shoves the body off of her, finding Joel standing over her, a wild look in his eyes.

He kneels down between her legs, helping her sit up as his hands dart anxiously over her, checking for bites. There’s a loud rushing in her ears, her hands shaking as she grasps onto the front of his flannel. His palms cup her face, warm and steadying as he coaxes her to look at him.

“Are you ok? Not hurt anywhere?” She’s never gotten so close to death, the shock of it settling icy and slick in her bones. She takes a shuddering breath before answering.

“I’m– I’m fine. I’m ok.” The worry rounding his eyes dissolves, his face setting back in a gruff, empty expression. She hates how she tries to lean into him when he takes his hands away from her face. He gets up with a groan, offering her a hand, but she has enough dignity to refuse to take it, scrambling onto her still unsteady legs.

“We should keep moving. There’s probably more where those came from.” She doesn’t respond to his words, just starts walking again, trying to steady the persistent shake in her hands. 

The rest of their hike is silent until Joel suggests they break for the night, setting up camp in a thicket of trees just off the highway. They eat their rations silently in the slow-darkening summer dusk. She’s surprised when he offers her his flask.

“Helps with the nerves.” She swears she could get whiplash with the way he’s swinging from seeming to not give a fuck to acting like he cares. She wordlessly takes the flask from him, ignoring the flicker of his fingers brushing hers as she takes a hard swig. 

“You sure you’re alright?” She can’t help but scoff at that.

“Careful, Miller. A girl might start to think you actually give a fuck about her.” He looks stricken by her harsh words, the fading light of day casting shadows over his furrowed expression.

“I– I do give a fuck about you.” She shakes her head, wrapping her arms around her shins where she’s sitting on her spread out sleeping bag.

“Oh I know. But you don’t want to, do you? That’s the problem. You don’t want to care about me. You think I’d be better off if you kept your distance from me.” His jaw goes slack at her words, leaning over his knees where he’s sitting across from her.

“I thought I heard you– you were listening in, weren’t you? To me and Tess? How much did you hear?” She sighs, turning her gaze down.

“Heard all of it.” It’s more of a mumble, but Joel hears it.

“Look, I’ll admit it– I like you– probably more than I should. But I’m right, darlin. It’s better this way. I’m no good for you. You best just forget about this.” Her head whips up at that, finally meeting his surprisingly sorrowful gaze.

“How can you say that, Joel? How could you possibly know what’s best for me? This isn’t about what’s best for me. You know what I think? I think you’re scared to let anyone get close to you. This isn’t better for me, it’s easier for you.” His expression has hardened, and she knows that she just pissed him off.

“That’s bullshit. You think this is easy for me? Pushing you away? Maybe you’ll understand when you’re a little older, darlin, but there ain’t anything easy about any of this.” She scoffs at that, anger coaxing up her spine.

“Oh please. That’s a weak excuse and you know it. Pulling the fucking age card. I’m not the one that needs to fucking grow up.” Somehow, in the heated volley of words, they’ve both ended up kneeling in front of each other, inching up into each other’s snarling faces.

“Oh, I need to grow up? That’s rich coming from the girl who just a few months ago was flirting with fucking feds for a few extra ration cards.” She does it before she can even think, her hand arcing with the goal of smacking him clean across his face, but before she can make contact, he grabs her wrist, holding her hand between them as she struggles in his grasp.

“Let go.” She can feel her anger seething off of herself, but Joel just cocks an eyebrow at her, firming up his grip on her wrist.

“No.” He says it so casually, she can’t help but laugh.

“What are you, a toddler? I said, let fucking go, you–” She’s cut off by his lips smashing into hers. Though she initially tries to fight it, she can’t help but mold her lips to his, seeking out the upper hand when she swipes her tongue over his bottom lip, causing him to groan lowly. He lets go of her wrist, his palms coming to squeeze at the curve of her hips as he topples back onto his ass, taking her with him as she straddles his thighs. It’s an angry, demanding little thing of a kiss, both of them fighting for dominance between swallowed gasps. He finally pulls back with a lewd smack, his eyes blown wide.

“You drive me fucking crazy, woman.” She snickers, tugging lightly at the hair at the nape of his neck.

“So much for not caring, Miller.” Tess was right. Tess was definitely right.

[beelmons]

A/N: There's a trend on tiktok where men are saying how after they started... uh... doing hardcore cunnilingus... their beards started to turn orange. so.... bearded spencer with a girlfriend he likes to treat right?

cw: slightly NSFW, not recommended for minors!

Spencer is a man you could describe as "raggedy". Hair always dishelved, tie slightly crooked, pants that don't ever quite fit him as they should. You never cared, and neither did he, because everything else made up for it. Your boyfriend was hot, and after he decided to let his beard grow a bit, he was hotter, if possible.

Of course, using your girlfriend privileges, meant you got to use his new attractiveness to your convenience, and boy, was it going great. People at the office began to notice him being more relaxed and even focused. They had started to pay closer attention to Spencer and how his demeanor changed. Sure, they didn't exactly know what you did to him, and no one dared to ask, but they were sure it had to be sexual in nature. No one could be that happy out of the blue.

It wasn't until one day where Luke noticed something a little off about his friend that the conversation finally arose. "Whoa, whoa, slow down Reid." he said, his hand pressing against the doctor's chest to stop him from walking any futher. JJ, Tara, and Penelope, who was visiting the bullpen, gathered around them with curiosity.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked, confusion written all over his face.

"What's that on your beard?" Luke teased with a bright and playful smile.

"What's what on my beard?" Spencer continued to be unable to understand the situation around him. However, he noticed how his female coworkers seemed to lean closer, trying to get a detailed look of his face.

Without much space for them to move, due to Spencer having a file on his hands, Luke decided to open a wide path and removed the document from him.

"You're right, Luke," JJ started to observe "it kind of looks like orange hairs on his beard?"

"You gotta have that looked at, boy genius, could be a bad sign." Penelope made a concerned remak.

"Could be because of the stress" Tara added.

"Nah!" Luke blurted out with a loud laugh "If anything, it's just proof that he's less stressed, or rather, that that girlfriend of his is way less stressed." he continued to chuckle as he spoke.

"How do you mean?" Reid asked, still unsure of the insinuation his friend was making.

"Did you know, ladies, that vaginal PH can bleach almost anything? from underwear to facial hair if the exposure is constant enough." he made sure to stare right into Spencer's eyes as he spoke, the smug, cheeky smile never leaving his face.

There was a collective and teasing 'ooooooooh' coming out from every girl around him, and Spencer could feel how the red tint began to spread from the base of his neck towards his face.

"That's my girl, always putting herself first!" Tara exclaimed with a laugh of her own.

"I didn't know you had it in you, Spence, good for you." JJ added as she squeezed her friend's arm.

"She's so lucky." Penelope grunted.

Luke's shitty grin disappeared from his face the moment Reid laid sharp daggers on him coming directly from his eyes. His hands darted to aggressively snatch the file back from his partner's "Decoloration of the facial hair can be due to genetic mutations or overexposure to the sun, so get your facts straight before you start talking nonsense." he said with a clearly pissed-off tone before he bolted off somewhere else.

Behind him he could still hear laughs and giggles, and they didn't help the still present crimson color of his face. His anger hadn't been because they were disrespecting you, you were well aware they could tease you like that, but rather because he felt seen through. Regardless of the wrong hypotesis, Luke had been correct. Ever since he grew out his beard, he was kept on a fluid-based diet. Your fluids, mostly.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for drinking milk with my vegan brother’s food? warning for very brief ed mention

my (15f) brother W (17m) is vegan and has been for about two years. I’m cool with that, I have nothing against vegans whatsoever, but he is very VERY adamant about me going vegan too. we’re sort of at an awkward point where I just avoid conversations about it because the subject makes me very uncomfortable, he always resorts to guilt tripping me and making me feel shitty about the subject instead of actually presenting points (he calls me an animal abuser very frequently which I’ve expressed I’m really hurt by) and I am recovering from an eating disorder and don’t need another thing to worry about in regards to my diet (I’ve also expressed this to him and he doesn’t seem to give a shit about it, treats it like an excuse)

that aside, I try to be chill with him about it and just avoid the subject. more recently he’s started cooking more and particularly experimenting with pastries, which he lets me eat. I appreciate it a lot when he lets me have some, but recently he saw me drinking milk alongside some plant based muffins he made. I always drink milk with pastries— it’s probably a sensory thing, the specific feel of milk is the only thing that feels right to drink with pastries n desserts and stuff and I genuinely cannot enjoy them without milk because the mouthfeel bothers me a lot, but that’s kinda besides the point— so he saw me drinking milk with the muffins and blew up at me, said it’s super disrespectful that I’d do that while eating his food. I had never thought of it that way and was pretty damn guilty about it in the moment. I told him I was sorry but he still seems upset. told him about the thing I have regarding pastries and that I have a hard time enjoying them without milk. then he forbade me from eating anything he cooks again because “my muffins aren’t for animal abusers” (yes he said that and says the same thing rather often when he doesn’t wanna share other food with me)

I may be TA because idk that might actually be disrespectful to his views to drink milk with his food and I do feel like maybe I’m in the wrong for that, but I’m also really bitter about how he guilts me and is so aggressive about the whole thing and feel like that’s unnecessary and rude of him. aita?

What are these acronyms?

[zynxwrite]

hey darling <3 hope you are well rested today! may i request something like when neteyam and lo’ ak say something hurtful about sibling!reader thinking she’s not there but she accidentally overhears? if its not too much, can it have fluffish ending? no pressure take your time 🦋

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐌𝐄?

pairings ❰ Neteyam x Sibling!F!Reader, Lo' ak x Sibling!F!Reader (Separated) Spider x Reader (briefly)

You overhear your brother talking hurtful things behind your back. How could he?

GENRE: Angst, comfort after. WARNINGS: none.

NETEYAM.

You, the middle child of the family had always tried to fit in. Never really had a role to take. You were just you. The plain old [Name] with no purpose to being a sully. You were always what they call annoying; A brat who can't behave. Even you really don't know why you act like this-you can't control yourself and just eventually do something. Or you accidentally shout and hurt someone just by it.

"Freak. She does not deserve to be a Sully." What you commonly hear when the Na'vi speak of you.

"That girl is mad. Disrespectful. A dog to her family." And it can even come to this.

You were an outcast to them. To your family, you think. You were nothing but a dog to them. Still, your family loves you. Maybe Especially your sisters, Kiri and Tuktirey. Even if they cannot understand your situation-they're always there for you. Kiri was your adoptive older sister. And you were her first sister. As children, you were both inseparable, like how glue sticks to a paper.

The relationship of you and your edest brother were never really that close. But you admire him a lot. A lot. You admired him more than your father. He was more likely the father of your siblings than your actual one. Jake was always hard on you and even your siblings.

"I will never treat you like a nothing. Promise." A lie.

Scratches, injuries were present to your legs. You were not supposed to go hunting, you disobeyed your father again. All you wanted was just to prove your worth.

Neteyam began to speak to a mutual friend, assuming you were not there to hear his words. But there you were, behind a tree listenig to their conversation as you watch them just finished fishing.

"I don't get [Name] at all! I always try to teach her but she just does not listen. It's getting annoying, truth. She's a brat." Neteyam crossed his arms while sharing something to a friend. And the friend happens to agree. Of course it will. They always do.

"I do not know how she can even be related to you at all."

"Neither do I. She's not a sister of mine."

The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and your eyes welled up with tears. You had always admired your sibling, looking up to them for guidance and support. Hearing them talk about you in such a hurtful manner shattered your heart, leaving you feeling vulnerable and betrayed.

He continued, "She thinks everything is so easy, and she can just coast through life. It's infuriating how she goes about her days, seemingly without a care in the world, while the rest of us are trying to keep it all together." Unable to bear the pain any longer, you accidentally reveal yourself, finally being seen.

Neteyam's eyes widened as he saw you. Knowing that you probably heard all that he said about you. Feeling a mix of sadness and anger, you managed to whisper, "I didn't know you felt this way... I never meant to disappoint you." The voice of yours cracked with emotion as you turned and left the place, needing time to process the hurtful revelation.

"Shit. Wait, [Name]!-] But you already left both of them before he could even say another word. You were also known for being fast, your legs were like the sibling of the winds. Fast.

Oh, great mother. What has he done? Such shitty thing to say.

What you didn't know that Spider was also in the same place as you. Hearing all the words your brother said to you. His plan was to scare you so he followed you. But he didn't know that it would lead to this. Your human friend then followed you.

You didn't know where you were running. But the speed of your legs just kept running. Running to whatever you stop to. Before you could even realize you were completely far away from the village.

A sound coming from a bush entered the core of your ears. But you ignored it. Not wanting to pay attention to anything anymore. 'Neither do I. She's not a sister of mine.' This. This piece of crap. Such words.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you clenched your fists, feeling a knot the my stomach. You wanted to run away, but your feet felt glued to the floor, unable to move. The pain of his words pierced through your soul, leaving me feeling worthless and unloved. You always knew that the people disliked you. But never expected your brother to hate you as well. Thoughts started to circle all over you. Do your sisters find you unlovable as well? Your mother? Overthinking made you hurt more.

"[Name]?" That voice. You recognized it. Suddenly, you felt a gentle touch on your shoulder, and turned to see none other than Spider, the closest friend you had. The only one. He had been your rock through thick and thin, always there to lend a listening ear or a comforting hand. You two shared a lot in common. Being disliked by the people.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice filled with concern, "I heard what happened. Are you okay?" What do you think. You couldn't hold back the tears any longer. They cascaded down your cheeks as you whispered, "I don't know what's wrong with me. Why did he say that?"

"Am I that much of a brat?" You were sitting, and he was standing. Spider pulled you into a warm embrace, letting you cry on his shoulder-accidentally wiping the blue paint off his skin.

"You're not the problem, and you're not alone," he said firmly. "Sometimes people say hurtful things out of frustration or their own issues. But that doesn't define who you are. You're strong, caring, and deserving of love." More tears started to form you. But this time it wasn't tears of that feeling.

As you cried, Spider stayed with you, providing a safe space for your pain. His presence and words brought some comfort to your shattered heart. While the hurtful words from your so called brother lingered, Spider's support reminded you that you had someone who genuinely cared for me. You hope your sisters didn't hate you too.

"Thank you, Spider."

"How stupid can you be?!" Kiri yelled. "Brother...Why would you say that? You know she's sensitive! Norm said she had difficulty expressing herself." Kiri had heard about what he said from Spider, but never told Neteyam it was from him.

"You know how much she looks up to you and cares about your opinion. It's not fair to speak about her like that behind her back." Neteyam's face flushed with embarrassment and guilt. He fumbled for words but remained silent, realizing the gravity of his actions.

"I understand that siblings can have disagreements and conflicts," Kiri continued, her tone softening slightly. "But there are better ways to handle your feelings. You could talk to her directly and try to understand what's going on instead of making hurtful assumptions."

Neteyam looked down, clearly grappling with his emotions. "I didn't mean for her to hear that," he finally mumbled. "I was just frustrated, and it came out."

"I get that," Kiri acknowledged, "but you need to be more mindful of your words. They have consequences, and you hurt her deeply. She's your sister too, and she loves you despite everything. Don't take that for granted."

A mix of guilt and regret washed over Neteyam's face. He knew Kiri was right, and he had to take responsibility for his actions. "You're right," he admitted, his voice filled with remorse. "I messed up, and I need to apologize to her." Kiri nodded, appreciating his honesty. "It's not going to be easy, but you owe it to her and yourself to make things right," she said.

Later that day, Neteyam approached you. "Sister," sister.

"Can we talk?" he asked softly, and you hesitated for a moment before nodding. Sister... the word kept ringing inside that head of yours. "I need to apologize," Neteyam began, his voice genuine and vulnerable. "I said some awful things, and I can't even begin to express how sorry I am. I was frustrated, angry, and I took it out on you. But that was never right, and you didn't deserve any of it."

"I felt so disconnected from you," he continued. "It seemed like we were drifting apart, and I didn't know how to handle it. But I realize now that pushing you away was the worst thing I could have done." Confusion stirred in you. Was he actually sorry? You couldn't help but overthink.

"I'm sorry. You are my sister." Really?

Not even a second-You hugged him. Forgiveness has already been granted. You always thought how warm his hug was.

LO'AK.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the room, you could feel the tension in the air. The gathering at the village had started out joyous, but now it felt heavy with unspoken words and unresolved emotions. You had noticed your brother, Lo'ak, acting distant and on edge all evening, but you couldn't pinpoint the reason behind it.

"Hey, [Name]! Dance with us!" Your little sister, Tuk tried to pull you from the crowd. Sorry, Tuk.

"Uhm-I think I'm gonna go for a walk first. I'll dance with you later, promise!" Feeling overwhelmed, you decided to step out onto the crowd for a moment of solitude. As you moved away from the chatter inside, you overheard hushed voices and recognized Lo'ak's distinct tone. Curiosity got the better of you, and you couldn't resist eavesdropping on the conversation.

"I don't understand her," Lo'ak's voice carried the weight of frustration. "She's always so needy and emotionally sensitive. It's exhausting to be around her. It's so annoying." He sighed. "She doesn't act like a relative to me, bro." a friend of his nodded.

"Why did I even have a twin." why did he?

Each word hit you like a physical blow, and the tears that had been building up in your eyes finally spilled over. You felt the sting of hurt and betrayal, listening to your own brother talking about you in such a hurtful manner. You had always looked up to your twin and thought he cared for you deeply, but his words shattered that illusion.

Before you could retreat, Lo'ak's voice wavered with realization, "Wait, where did she go? Did she hear me?"

You took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself, but the pain was too raw. Still, you couldn't bear the thought of confronting him, not when he had uttered those words in the heat of the moment. Instead, you quietly slipped away and found a secluded corner on a tree to hide your tears.

It was already dark. You have been gone for almost an hour or two. The people have been worried about you. Where did you go? Were you safe? Tuk couldn't help but ask Neytiri every minute if you've already returned. But you were just nowhere to be seen.

Thankfully, Lo'ak eventually found you. It took him 30 minutes to find you with his Ikran. There you were, hugging your legs under a tree. He almost thought you fell asleep. But you weren't.

He landed his Ikran on the ground. There he stood, his expression pained and regretful. "I-I didn't know you were there," he stammered, his voice thick with emotion. "I didn't mean what I said. I was just frustrated, and I didn't think before I spoke."

Tears welled up in your eyes again, and you looked away, not wanting to show your vulnerability. "It doesn't excuse what you said," you replied, your voice shaky. "You really think I'm that unbearable?"

"No, no, that's not what I meant," Lo'ak pleaded, taking a step closer to you. "I've just been going through a lot lately, and I didn't know how to handle it. I never meant to hurt you." Despite your anger and hurt, you could see the sincerity in his eyes. You knew that he was struggling, but that didn't make his words hurt any less.

"I can't believe you said those things about me," you said, trying to hold back your tears. "I thought we were close." You were his twin.

"We are close," Lo'ak said, his voice cracking. "And that's why it hurts so much to see you upset. I've been a terrible brother, and I'm so sorry."

The pain in his voice tugged at your heart, and you felt conflicted. Part of you wanted to shut him out and protect yourself, but another part wanted to believe that he genuinely regretted his words.

"Please. I know you can't forgive me that easily. But you need to come back with me. They are worried about you."

"Take all the time you need," he said softly. "I'll be here when you're ready to talk, and I'll do whatever it takes to make things right." He took his hand out and placed it in the air. Gesturing it for you to hold on. But as you held his hand-he pulled you into a hug.

NOTE: SORRY I HAVEN'T WRITTEN FOR A LONG TIME AND I'M STRUGGLING BECAUSE I'M WORKING ON A NOVEL AOAHDJSJSBK. SORRY THE WRITING IS TERRIBLE. (I fr need to take lessons to improve my ass.) My writing style has changed hasn't it? AHH WRITERS BLOCK AND ART BLOCK GOT ME

I am also open for requests pookies <33

[howtobecomeadragon]

can you imagine how annoyed will must have been? he's gay, in love with his best friend, filled with shame about who he is, but he loves mike, he loves mike with all his heart, and he knows somewhere deep down that he's good for him, that he can take care of mike and cheer him up when he's down, will can be there for him in all the ways that mike needs. because he loves him, because he wants to. they've been each other's best friends forever, since they knew how to make and have friends. they grew up together, and around each other's quirks and needs and insecurities. they know almost everything about each other. almost. except for the big secret. mike just doesn't know will's in love with him. but they know everything else about each other.

and then will's family has to adopt mike's girlfriend and will kind of hates her because she's dating the guy he loves, she's the reason mike is pulling away. but soon, with enough distance from mike, will figures she's not too bad. she's just some girl that's struggling a lot and will wants to help her, so he does. she's a weird sister now. she knocks on his door for help with homework sometimes, and she likes trying new foods, and sometimes she'll listen to music with him.

but between all those sister moments are moments of devastation and heartbreak sprinkled throughout the months. she gets letters from mike. joyce hands her a new letter and el's eyes widen and she smiles and runs to her room. and it feels like last summer again when she was stealing away every bit of mike then, too. mike's handwriting, the paper that he held in his hands, his words: all whisked away to el's bedroom, far away from will.

and will watches el, and wonders. if mike were to be with someone for the rest of his life, would it be her? is that who will would've guessed, after he got over that silly daydream that it would be him, that it could ever be him?

he pictured mike with someone who played d&d, although he doesn't know if girls play d&d. he pictured someone that would stay up late talking about wizards and goblins and elves with him. he pictured someone that would go to the arcade with them. like max, but not like max. someone that would build mike up, catch him when he was down on himself, build him back up, appreciate how much he cared for everyone.

when will did get a phone call from mike, he found himself wondering what he talked about with el. what they had in common that kept them so inseparable all these months, even as mike faded further and further from will. did el have that much more in common with mike? a couple could only talk about how much they like each other so much, right? that couldn't fill a letter all by itself.

he wondered and wondered, even as he imagined conversations with mike day after day, picturing mike as his chemistry lab partner and jokes they'd make in english class and mike's usual groans about the shitty cafeteria food. his head was so full of mike: ten years worth of what mike thought of this and how he would talk about that. he was so full of everything that made mike mike that will never ran out of things to say to him. in his head at least. things were weird on the phone. and mike was barely calling anyway.

so then mike is coming for spring break and will knows that he'll have to share that time with el, that likely she'd get most of that time, and he'd get barely any, judging by how things were last summer and all the letters she always got. but he has so much to talk to mike about: his painting, how much he missed him, how much he misses their friendship, a new fantasy book he read, a d&d campaign he thought up, his physics class, his cool new art teacher.

mike is there at the airport and will's chest is fluttering and mike looks so good and will has to swallow down all his thoughts and feelings, because it's too too much. mike hugs el, kisses el, and doesn't hug will. will feels kind of numb, like he's in shock by how mike is treating him, but maybe less surprised than he expected. it settles into him like an inevitability. he wasn't calling much, so why would he want a big hug?

el says it clear as day: this day is just for them. mike doesn't want to spend it with will too. because obviously will was wrong about what mike might want. he doesn't want a person who will play d&d, or talk about dwarves and dragons. el is exactly who mike wants, and will was just wrong.

but then. but then. will realizes as el talks: el's been lying. el isn't friends with stacy and angela. el doesn't go to rink o mania for parties. while they eat their breakfast burritos, she tells mike about her great math grade, even though will saw a math test sticking out of her backpack a few weeks ago with a failing grade on it. it's all lies.

and suddenly, will is annoyed. will wouldn't have lied to mike. mike hates lying. mike is still playing d&d. dustin told him so. el doesn't play d&d. mike talks about how he and el had a big fight, and will thinks about how they did too and how their fight wasn't one that they couldn't come back from. will watches as mike talks more badly about himself than he's ever done so before in the van, and wonders if he'll have to keep reassuring him for the rest of their lives, if el can't help him this much. because if el is lying, if they had a big fight, if mike is coming to him about these worries, then what do el and mike talk about?

he assumed that they talked a lot about liking each other, but they didn't even say "i love you" or "i missed you" at the airport. they don't talk about books or about hellfire club, which will heard all about from dustin and lucas. everything el said about school was lies. he wondered if mike knew about the night will found el crying about the failed math test, or about how will cheered her up or distracted her after getting bullied. what the hell did they talk about?

will tries to stop thinking about how he's the one who is perfect for mike, he really does. but it gets harder and harder to stop those thoughts the more time he spends around mike and el. he just doesn't get what they talk about, after the lying and the fights. he doesn't get it.

[themorningsunshine]

They don’t know you the way I do

Pairing - Bucky Barnes x f!reader

Based on the prompt, 'I am afraid you'll end up seeing me the way I see myself.'

Summary - Bucky overhears a conversation between some agents about the both of you and he couldn't help but agree.

Warnings - Deprecating thoughts, shitty agents and just some fluff!

Word Count - 2.6k

Bucky tried to ignore them. He always did.

It had been this way since he joined the team. Steve asked him to not be bothered. It would fade away sooner or later. But it didn't. It's been a year since he came into the tower and if anything else, the whispers had increased.

Bucky didn't blame them. He didn't blame them when they didn't want to ride the same elevator as him even if it meant waiting extra for another one. He didn't blame them when they took the longer route because they didn't want to walk across the same hallway as him. He didn't blame them when they stared at his metal arm with fear and disgust in their eyes. He didn't even blame them when they would whisper about him behind his back but fall dead silent once he looked their way.

Truth was, he was convinced he would do the same if he could.

Sometimes, he could hear bits of what they were talking about him. Owing to his super hearing.

It was ....... not pleasant. They questioned his position in the team. Placed bets on how long it would take for him to get back to what he used to be. Made guesses on why Tony let him stay in the tower considering what he did to his parents.

Bucky tried his best to tune out everything they said. To not think much about their actions. They were just SHIELD agents and people working in the tower anyways. Bucky knew there was a whole world of people outside thinking about him this way.  At least the team didn't think about him like he was a timed bomb about to explode anytime.

After everything, Tony understood that it wasn't Bucky's fault. Nat was understanding considering the similarities of their past. Bruce just kept to himself, spending most of his time in the lab. With Sam, even though Bucky wouldn't admit this on his grave, he had found a friend in him. Or atleast a tolerable aquaintance.

Steve tried getting him to who he used to be. The outspoken charmer, who lived life like there was no tomorrow. But what he didn't realise was that Bucky could never be that person again. He couldn't just walk into the world picking girls, going to clubs, drinking and enjoying life. That's what 70 years with Hydra does to you.

Sometimes, Bucky felt guilty. His best friend wanted to see the Bucky Barnes from the 40s not the weapon Hydra made him or the broken, lost man he was now.

So, no, Bucky didn't really care about what the SHIELD agents had to say about him. Not until now, Not until they also included you..

You were like the morning sunshine. The kind you could travel across the country to see because just one glimpse of it could make you feel peaceful, like everything was going to be alright. With the prettiest smile he had ever seen, you could make anyone feel better, like there is always light at the end of a tunnel. Like this life is worth living.

You looked at him like he's safe. Like he's more human than weapon.

But Bucky knew better. And it was only a matter of time till you realised it too.

But that didn't happen. You didn't treat him like he was a timed bomb, or a weapon, or like he was delicate glass, who would break at the slightest pressure.

So, no, Bucky didn't like what he heard today. For the first time in so long,, the whisperings bothered him. Because, they were true and they included you.

It was a pretty much normal day at the compound. As normal as a house of the Earth's mightiest heroes could be. Bucky was walking in after his morning run when he heard it.

There were a couple of agents. Bucky didn't want to listen to them. He really didn't but to hell with his super hearing.

They were talking about him. Bucky sighed inaudibly. Why couldn't this elevator come anytime sooner? It was just the usual stuff. How he shouldn't be a part of the team. How he should be in a prison after what he had committed because even if Hydra asked him to do it, it was still him. Bucky almost scoffed at the word, 'asked him to'. Hydra did have a very pleasant way of asking.

Some of them were softer. Who suggested a mental asylum. Well, Bucky would rather go to a prison, he thinks.

The elevator reaches him and the doors open with a ding, that's when he hears it, your name. They were talking about you now and Bucky doesn't climb inside the elevator. That could wait.

One of the agent says how kind it was of you to get all of them cupcakes after the gruesome mission. How you were so humble even after being an Avenger. Bucky almost smiles at that. He could never get tired of listening to people talk good about you.

But then their tone changes. Their conversations include him now. And Bucky is stepping inside the elevator when he hears it.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

"Hey, Nat. Have you seen Bucky?" You call out to your best friend when you find her looking into her phone. You have been searching for Bucky for the past half an hour and he was nowhere to be seen. There were no missions today and the training grounds were empty. If it had been anyone other than Bucky, you would have thought he went out but it couldn't be the case with him.

Nat looks up at you with a smirk on her face and you internally roll your eyes. It was stupid to ask her but the damage had been done so might as well go with it.

"I haven't seen him since morning. I thought you would know but it seems like your spying skills have gotten rusty." You take a jab at her and a smile crepts your face when the smirk is removed from her face.

"I haven't seen him too. He didn't show up for breakfast. Did you try calling him?"

"I did. It's switched off. I am surprised he didn't even show up for training today." You sighed as you realised this wasn't going anywhere. You had looked for him everywhere but couldn't find him. It was probably nothing, but you couldn't help but worry.

"What I am more surprised at is the fact that he knows how to switch off his mobile." Nat replies with a slight chuckle, amused at her own attempt at a joke.

"Nat." You gave her a pointed look.

"All right. Did you look for him in his room?"

"Of course. I - " You are about to tell her that it was obviously the first place you looked when it strikes you. You knew exactly where he was. It baffles you that you hadn't thought of that before.

"Ha. So, you forgot to look into his room? Great, smart ass." Nat breaks your train of thought.

You wanted to tell her that that wasn't the case but then that would be followed with more of her questions and you didn't have time for that right now. So, you just narrowed your eyes at her and walked out of the living room.

"I guess it's you whose spying skills are going rusty, but I get it. Love makes us do stupid things." She calls out to you and you couldn't thank the heavens enough that your back was turned towards her. You wouldn't admit it on your grave, but you liked Bucky, a lot, much more than a friend. Scratch that, who were you kidding? You were irrevocably in love with him. How could you not? Bucky was the most gentle, sweet and attentive person you had ever met. And the fact that he looked like that didn't help your case either.

But you hadn't told anyone. Nat had caught up to some extent but you would walk upto your grave before admitting it to her.

Before you had realised, you had reached the roof. You knew you would find him there.

You slowly walked on the roof and noticed how peaceful the sky looked today. It was beautiful and you would have stayed to admire it if it wasn't for the worry increasing inside you.

You looked around and your eyes finally landed on the slumped soldiers of the supersoldier. He looked defeated like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

You slowly walked upto him and stood by his side.

"Buck?" You called out to him softly as the wind rustled your hair.

Bucky looked up and his eyes met your concerned ones. You were worried about him but he couldn't understand why. He couldn't understand why you cared so much.

"You didn't show up for breakfast or training. You should have, I kicked Nat's ass in the gym today. You should have seen her face. She blamed it on Steve distracting her." You let out a light chuckle and hoped that this would lighten his mood like it usually did, but when you looked at him, you were taken aback to see that he was still staring ahead with a grim expression on his face.

"Buck, are you okay? I am getting worried now." You asked gently, concern dripping from your voice.

Bucky opened his mouth to tell you that he was fine, that there was nothing to be worried about. But once he looked at you, all those lies died at his tongue. How could he lie to you when you were looking at him like that? With tensed brows, concerned eyes, parted lips, like you would do anything to ease his pain. He couldn't lie to you now, or ever, for that matter but he couldn't tell you the truth either.

"I - "

"Don't you dare say that you are fine, Buck. I can see it." Bucky let out a sigh and began again. "I was coming back from my run and - I - I just heard some agents talking."

Your concern changed into anger rather quickly. You hated the people who talked about Bucky that way behind his back. You couldn't understand why they just couldn't see him. Not the winter soldier or the Avenger, just him. "Bucky, don't listen to them. They don't know you. You are not what they say. You - "

"They were not talking about me. They were talking about us." Bucky interrupted you and looked away. He didn't want to see your expression when you realised what you had got yourself into by just being around him, by being his friend.

"Us?" You were genuinely confused. What could they be talking about the both of you? What could it be that got him so upset? It was common for people to assume that you were a couple. Did that bother him so much? This thought hurt you more than it should have.

Bucky thought about it for a moment. You deserved to know. Even if it meant the inevitable will happen and you would finally realise what being with him was doing to you, he had to tell you. "They were saying how bizarre it was for us to be friends. How exhausting it would be for you to have me around. How I was sucking away all your light. It's as if like - like we are the Beauty and the beast."

Your heart broke at his words. He didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve any of the harsh things that had happened to him and definitely not these words spoken by people who didn't even know him. You wanted to tell him what a lie those words were. You wanted to convince him till your last breathe that that was not so. That he was not sucking away your light, that he actually lightened up your world. But you knew those words weren't exactly the problem here. "And you believe them?" You asked in a small voice.

Bucky couldn't look at you when he nodded his head. He didn't want to believe those agents, but he couldn't help but agree. The both of you weren't supposed to be friends. It was silly of him to silently wish you could ever be anything more.

Your heart boke even more. How could he not know that you cared about him too much to even give the words of those agents any thought? That you were so concerned about him that you couldn't breathe? That you just wanted him to be happy? That you were in love with him?

"Buck.." You sighed and took his hands towards you so he faced you. When his eyes met yours, you realised there were tears threatening to come out of his baby blues.

"You should know this ... I don't care about what they think. I - " When Bucky opened his mouth to interrupt, you kept a hand on his mouth. "Please, just listen. I don't care about what they think, Buck 'cause I know that's not true. You are not a beast, you never were. You are the kindest, the sweetest, the most understanding, the most gentle, the softest and simply the best man I know. I understand that you don't think that highly of yourself right now, Buck, but trust me, I would convince you till my last breathe if that's what it takes." You removed your hand from his mouth and placed it on his cheek.

Bucky could never get tired of how gentle your touch was. In all honesty, he would hold you there for eternity if he could. If you were his. But for that to even be a possibility, he first had to voice his biggest fears, "I am afraid you'll end up seeing me the way I see myself."

You could feel tears pooling in your eyes for the man you loved, as you replied, "Look at yourself through my eyes, Buck. You'll know just how much you mean to me."

You had sad that with so much emotion, Bucky's heart skipped a beat. You were looking at him as if he had hung the moon and the stars, like he was the most precious thing in the whole world. You were looking at him the same way he was pretty sure he looked at you. Like you loved him too.

Before he could even realise what he was doing, he leans in a little.

Your heart is beating so fast, you are pretty sure he could hear it. Before you could change your mind, you lean in too.

As your lips meet, the world seems to stop. The whispers in Bucky's mind remind him not so politely how he didn't deserve it. How he didn't deserve you. But your kiss silences those whisperings and the whole world condenses around him until you are the only one comprising it.

As the necessity to breathe arose, you broke apart. But fearing that all this was a mere dream and the other will vanish, you keep close and lean till your foreheads touch eack other.

You stay like that for a long time. The only sound being your breathing. The silence conveys everything and none of you wants to ruin the moment with words.

After what could have been hours or mere seconds, you ask slowly, "Buck?"

When he hummed and you knew he was listening, you continued, "Who were the agents? I promise I'd just talk."

[teyums]

Twin Flames

pairing: Ao’nung x fem!metkayina na’vi reader

contains: angst with underlying bittersweet fluff, slight infidelity, no smut but a very brief, vague rehashing of events. Ao’nung and reader are both 19. wc: 3,124

“Honestly I’m better as your boy, I’d be kinda shitty as ya man, let’s go back to only being friends. I’m sorry girl I hope you understand it’s just, I don’t wanna fall in love.” - KYLE

You and Ao’nung were written in the stars. Twin flames. A love so fierce among two souls that it’d be impractical to think you could come out unscathed. Like night and day, never one without the other, but never meant to be together.

He never intended to hurt you, really, he didn’t. But somewhere in all the gold that glittered and the feeling of something fresh and exciting, he simply lost sight and forgot what he really wanted.

Love and Ao’nung were two words that never should have been in the same sentence. You wished you had listened to those around you, to those who noticed the two of you growing far too close for the relationship to remain platonic.

You wished you had listened to those who recognized the familiar gleam he’d get in his eyes when he wanted something he knew he wasn’t supposed to have; to those who warned that he would break you into a million pieces like he did with the others. But what you felt in your heart and saw with your own two eyes, you couldn’t deny. He was different with you, you swear he was.

A friend was what you called each other. Bestfriends. Growing up in Awa’atlu, you were stuck to his side like glue as a child, always begging to go hunting with him and his friends. You wanted to go everywhere he went, do everything he did. Disgruntled and annoyed at first, a little Ao’nung had eventually taken a liking to you, much to his own surprise. And from then on, your presence in each other’s lives was as normal as breathing.

And somewhere along the line, Ao’nung had become gentle with you, contrary to his usual irreverent personality. He stopped treating you like you were just another one of his knuckle-headed friends, but instead something more than that. He found himself staring at you longer than he used to; captivated by the details about your features or personality that he never cared to relish on in the past.

The way your face would light up every time you heard his voice call for you. How you’d beam when you sat with him on the beach and raved about your day. He’d simply watch you, humming in response every now and then to let you know he was listening, on his face a smile so love-sickeningly drenched in admiration while you gesticulated animatedly.

He would have puked had someone held a mirror up to him to see his own besotted expression, but he loved how excited you were to talk to him about the smallest of things. How even while he’s studied the distinct map your starred freckles project along your body over and over again, for some reason, he still finds himself getting lost in them.

He doesn’t want to fall in love.

It’s what he tells himself every time a mention of your name has his ears perking attentively, listening in on the conversation regarding his newfound fascination. Every time a waft of your scent in the salt-laced breeze sends his mind reeling with thoughts he can’t seem to mute. But it’s too late.

Hell, how couldn’t he have fallen for you? You’re always perched on the dock outside his mauri before eclipse, swinging your legs as you patiently await his return from training so the two of you can spend some time alone before dinner.

Genuinely happy to see him regardless of how grumpy he can be, because you like him for him. And you’re completely unaware of how his mind battles with his heart as he admires you from afar, wondering how he’d let himself tumble face first into an irreversible fondness for you.

He doesn’t want to fall in love, but one can’t stop the inevitable.

Snarky teasing turned into transient observations that scarily resembled compliments. Chummy roughhousing morphed to playful touches to the most ticklish parts of you, just so he could hear your pretty laugh cascade through his ears like his own songcord. He had half the mind to add a bead, just for you.

And for a while, he felt it too, honestly he did. But Ao’nung wasn’t familiar with love, had pushed the thought of it away for so long that now he had no idea how it was supposed to happen. The things you were and weren’t supposed to do. He never knew that the fluttering feeling of butterflies swarming in his stomach were good, that he shouldn’t run from them, but embrace them.

Sure he’d grown up watching his parents display their affection to one another; grown up hearing the stories of an adamant, smitten Tonowari pining after a hard-to-get Ronal, despite her apparent aloofness. How he fell first and she fell even harder. But he never actually thought he would end up head over heels for a girl. It was usually the other way around, girls pining over him while he let the attention boost his ego.

He was a no strings kind of guy— utterly terrified by the thought of being responsible for breaking a girl’s heart. Breaking your heart, like he knew he would because he fucks everything up and he wanted no parts of it.

But he’s conflicted. Deep down he does want what his parents have. Someone to call his own, someone to come home to. Someone who means more than a stupid hookup that would leave him regretting his decision afterwards and wondering why the hell he went through with it. But like always with the metkayina boy, pride trumps what his heart already knows.

He’s well aware that it’s too good to be true. The thought that he could ever experience what it truly means to be happy, by letting himself be loved by you, is all that it will ever be. A thought. An unattainable aspiration. He knows you’re too good for him. Compassionate, thoughtful, kind. Everything he’ll never be, coupled with a heart much too pure to be polluted by his indecision.

But maybe, just maybe he could enjoy the reverie while it lingered, and pretend like he could really have you all to himself. Just for one night. Selfishly disregarding his issues with commitment, all he could think about while he laid in bed was how badly he wanted to see you, how badly he wanted to be with you.

Leading you on was the last thing on his mind that late night he’d snuck out from his Mauri and to yours, determinedly pitching small shells he’d collected on the way there between the flowing tulle curtains of your open window to get your attention.

And for some reason you couldn’t sleep, as if that was fate’s way of setting the two of you up for failure from the beginning. You’d already spent an hour staring up at the intricate weaving of your Mauri’s roof, wishing your eyelids would hurry up and become weighted, when the small disruption of something clattering against the floorboards had you sitting up almost instantly.

You smiled keenly, already having an idea of who it was. He told you he’d come for you later, sometime after eclipse, and he always kept his promises. At least, you thought he did.

The both of you waded by the shore beneath the light of the moon, legs brushing against the other from the effort of treading once you swam further out. Childishly splashing the other with small waves of cool, salty water and trying your best to keep your laughter quiet; the village long asleep but your hearts awake.

It was when he bundled you closer, when strong arms lagged through the calm waters to wind around your waist and pull you into him. That, was when you knew nothing would be the same.

You should have pulled away, should have called it a night before things could progress, like the voice in the back of your head was telling you to do. But just like always, those ocean eyes held you in a trance, a smug grin on his face in response to how deeply you blushed and it only made matters worse.

You wonder now if he knew what he was doing when he brought a hand up to caress your dampened cheek, his gaze undeniably tender when he told you he’d always thought you were the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen.

You see now that you were stupid to fall for it. But in that fleeting moment, with your arms around his neck and your hearts beating as one, his lips moving against yours felt so right. It felt like that was where you were always meant to be, in his arms, pressed against the warmth of his skin as he set your soul ablaze.

You’d spent the rest of the night on the sand, the comfort of your bed long forgotten. He was all you needed. Entangled underneath the moonlight as you let him see so much farther into you than you had with anyone. He kissed broken promises upon your skin, lust-drunken words slurred from his mouth swaddled in the crook of your neck and you can’t believe you trusted him.

Your ability to see the good in everyone ultimately played the role in your downfall. You took pride in being someone who went off actions, and not words. Because it had never failed you before, but since then you’ve learned to never say never.

Curse your aching heart. You really should have listened when everyone told you to run, that behind all the kind gestures and longing glances and saccharine kisses to the forehead— it was all a game to him.

Things weren’t official with the two of you but you had planned to change that. Flung so deep into the intensity of your own feelings, everything about the way he treated you let you know that he must have felt the same.

Surely it’d be impossible to do all that the two of you had done with someone and not catch feelings. It’d be unimaginable to let someone peer so extensively into what makes you you, and somehow not fall in love with them.

“Meet me by the mangroves at noon, our spot.” You’d murmured between a parting kiss, just the day before, and he can’t believe he forgot.

He was enjoying his time with you too much to notice that he let things go on for too long, too busy reveling in the feeling of what it felt like to truly be loved. To be cared for.

He never intended for it to go this far, constantly having to remind himself to break the news to you that he wanted to remain friends, so he wouldn’t lose you all together. To let you go before he could do something to hurt you.

Ao’nung knew he was in too deep the moment he realized you were the last image playing behind his eyelids when he fell asleep, and the first thing he thought about when he woke up.

The idea of him loving someone so profoundly shocked him to his core, scared him into submitting back into his old habits. He needed to be with someone who couldn’t see him, someone who if he were to mess things up, the sight of them in fragments due to his actions wouldn’t cause him to endure that same agony. So subconsciously, he did what he always does when he has a good thing going for him. Fuck it up.

The sound of his laughter in the distance carried your feet along the buoyant netting that served as walkway between the homes of your village. A hopeful grin plastered on your face and a freshly woven armband clutched between your hands. A gift from him to you, and though not very traditional for you to give the first courting gift, nothing about your situation was, so you found it more than fitting.

The sight in front of you halted your movements, leaving your mind to try and make sense of the scene before your eyes could confirm what you feared to be true. What everyone had tried to warn you of.

The man who succeeded in making you feel a way no other had, stood a little ways in front of you, with a girl. Her back leaned against the rocks while she batted her lashes and gazed at him as if he’d hung the stars in the sky himself. The same way you’d found yourself doing every time he so much as looked in your direction.

A mere conversation between the two of them would never have been enough to upset you, you liked to think you were more secure than that. But you’d be lying to yourself if you claimed you didn’t see the way his hand cradled her cheek, and how his eyes flitted over her features, as if she were the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen.

Your insecurities didn’t have much work to do, as it was the words that left his own mouth that confirmed your fears. The same thing he had confessed to you— all those nights ago when you laid intwined under the stars— he swore to her. With that same glint in his eye, that same longing look that you were foolish to ever believe would be reserved for you.

A fire surged up the column of your throat and a dreadful weight settled in the pit of your stomach that almost had your knees buckling. Your lips parted to speak, to ask him what the hell he was doing with her when he was supposed to have met you here.

But the words never came, they remained lodged between the confines of your heart-wrenched vocal cords. Your fist tightened around what would’ve been a lovely moment between the two of you, and the sound of it thumping against the ground, paired with the cloud of sand it brought up in its wake was enough to peel his attention from your giggling contender.

His startled, turned guilt-ridden expression would’ve rendered comical to you, but the rush of hot tears that bubbled over your waterline and stained your seafoam cheeks were far too impatient to wait for you to get a laugh in.

You staggered back with a denying shake of your head, a string of curses inaudible as you threw your hands up once he made a move to get to you. The girl he had been so enamored with just moments ago conveniently forgotten the second he witnessed your heart fall through your chest.

He called out for you in a panic, hurriedly sifted his hands through pale golden and swiftly scooped the disheveled accessory from the sand before his feet took off.

Ao’nung chased you through the village until he was nearly winded. Ignoring your hisses for him to leave you alone and brushing off the harsh shoves you sent to his chest as if they weren’t actually starting to hurt.

“Please, wait!” Another plea for you that went ignored, your ears only filled with the painful ringing of betrayal.

Blinded by the moisture in your eyes, you realized he’d cornered you. Chased you all the way to a secluded clearing behind the palm trees so you would stop running and just talk to him.

A strong hand gripped your forearm, turning you around rougher than intended to meet the frantic look in his eyes. “Please,” He implored breathlessly and his chest heaved from his efforts just moments earlier. “I never meant for it to go like this.”

You twirled from his grasp and swatted his hand away in the process, your face screwed up with hurt and he watched every conflicted emotion pass through your eyes at once. You didn’t even know how you were still standing.

“I gave myself to you!” Your voice wavered as you thrusted an accusatory finger to his chest. His lips moved, but no words left them as he clutched the forgotten gift in his hands. “I can’t believe I was so stupid.” You whisked your head away, shielding your face as another round of tears threatened to make themselves known, as if you weren’t embarrassed enough.

“I’m- I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. I-“ His head dipped to the side to match his drooping shoulders, and you felt the rough pad of his thumb graze your cheekbone in an attempt to fix what was already broken. “Tahni, please, I was going to tell you. I swear-“

“You did this on purpose, didn’t you? Was this all some kind of sick game to you?” You choked out and backed away from his touch with your arms crossed over your chest, suddenly feeling exposed in front of the man who had already seen you so much barer than you stood now.

But with your feelings worn on your sleeves and so obviously unreciprocated, you felt more naked than you’d ever been regardless of the coverings you were wearing. Completely vulnerable in front of him, so naively gullible to think he’d ever put aside his immature desires and feel the same way you did.

“What- No! I’d- I’d never-“ He sputtered an answer vehemently, his expression almost wounded as he immediately denied your claim. “I just, I can’t give you what you need. You deserve better than me.” His hands found yours despite your efforts to avoid them, and he quickly realized why you didn’t want to be touched.

A stark contrast from your pained stature, the affliction he had caused, your body relaxed the second he touched you and your composure crumbled before him.

Sobs racked through your body and you weakly tugged your hands from his grasp to no avail, your words shaky as you begged for him to let you go. And without another thought he pulled you into his embrace, firmly caging you between the arms that once comforted you.

But they failed to replicate that same feeling, the image of what once was completely tarnished by his own actions. The words that left your lips were enough to make his eyes well with a wetness foreign to him. A deep-seated feeling he’d never forget. Remorse.

“You’re cruel, Ao’nung.”

The sound of your heart shattering drowned out his incessant, anguished apologies and your body slumped in his arms. You let him hold you, allowed your forehead to fall into the dip of his chest as large hands caressed into the curve between your trembly shoulders.

You mindlessly permitted his attempts to console you as you knew you would never let him close to you again. The two of you stood like that for a few minutes, until your weeping reduced to jagged inhales while you struggled to catch your breath.

“Did it mean anything to you at all? Any of it?” You squeaked hopelessly, and the sound of your broken voice sent daggers to the heart you were almost certain he didn’t have.

With his chin rested atop your head, his eyes squeezed shut and he exhaled unsteadily before he spoke.

“More than you know.”

part two

Reblogs + Likes + Comments are much appreciated 💗

[bougiebutchbinch]

I AM THINKING THOUGHTS

specifically

asexual Izzy who thinks sex is the only way he can access Those Sweet Snuggles And Aftercare

he's trying SO HARD to repair things between him and ed and stede in the aftermath of S2, where they've all survived and are setting up a cute, doomed domestic future in their inn

only... he's still drowning in insecurity that ed and stede would be far better off as a pair without him, wondering whether he should've died, fretting that he's going to ruin everything again

so he decides, as the KING of fucked-up acts of service, that the best way to Make This Work and for him not to fall back into destructive past patterns is to.... never say no to anything that Stede and Ed want to do. Including sex.

Obviously, this doesn't end well.

[very, very poor communication leading to rape, internalised aphobia]

Izzy has, crucially, never been in a relationship before. He's had sex quite a few times, but even when consensual it was always a bit miserable and traumatic. He didn't enjoy it, and privately worries that a part of him is broken because he didn't enjoy it.

But he'll enjoy it with Ed and Stede! Because he loves them! He's sure of it!

Only then, they try and...

And Izzy hates it.

He just hates himself more, for not being able to give them this. Because he loves them - he does. What's wrong with him? Why can't he just stop being a scared little prude and relax and let them love him, too?

Ed and Stede like sex. They really like sex - they have it together LOADS, with or without Izzy's involvement. Izzy's desperate not to be left out, and determined not to be the stone in this mechanism, ruining everything for the men he loves.

Thankfully, he's a massive masochist! It's easy to internalise that sex with them is his 'punishment' for breaking them up that one time, and something he simply has to grit his teeth and suffer through so they'll hold him, after! And if he breaks down sobbing most of the time and starts whimpering 'sorry, sorry, sorry'.... well, he'll insist shamefaced that it's a shitty reaction to old trauma, if either of them ask - or that it's cathartic for him, or some shit. Nothing to do with Ed or Stede personally, or wanting them to stop. He loves them. He wants to be with them. In every way. He promises.

Meanwhile, Ed and Stede are terrified that if they 'leave Izzy out', they'll be the ones ruining everything. So, they're sure to give him as much physical affection as they give each other! Ed thinks he's 'making up for lost time', and presumes this is what Izzy wanted from him all along but was too stuck in his ways to ask for. Stede is delighted to be discovering The Joys Of Gay Sex, and wants to share the pleasure and experience everything imaginable with Izzy.

Izzy is. Suffering.

Still, he's genuinely kinky and enjoys pain. The obvious answer is for him to ask them to tie him up and gag him while they fuck him so he won't accidentally say anything 'silly' like "No, please, stop."

Stede and Ed are kinda.... wary, because that's pretty hardcore! What if Izzy decides he doesn't want this, part way through? But Ed admits he's fooled around with Jack a few times in a similar way (though of course, that was heartily consensual) and Stede has read a few.... interesting books on the subject of darker flavours of lust, and so, after a whispered conversation, they agree to give Izzy what he 'needs'.

It's a lot easier to bear sex when it's about pain, not pleasure and intimacy and all those other things Izzy struggles to feel when he's got another body pushing inside of his.

Only problem is... Ed and Stede don't particularly enjoy hurting him like that. Especially not Ed, who's looking closer to a breakdown every time Izzy hopefully pulls out the gag after Ed intiates sex. Reluctantly, Izzy agrees to save the ropes and gag for when they're feeling, as Ed puts it 'spicy' - special occasions, not every day - and goes back to letting his lovers treat him like he's something special (he's not he's not he's not) while every touch only makes him feel more like a cracked glass a single bump away from shattering.

Maybe a part of Izzy 'communication is NOT my middle name' Hands expects them to notice and WANTS them to notice, but a far bigger part is absolutely desperate to hide how much he's Not Liking This. It becomes an immensely fucked-up challenge for him, to prevent Stede and Ed from knowing they're hurting him more with all this gentle, tender missionary, than that time he got them to flog his back bloody, that was actually the closest he came to enjoying their time together in bed. Unfortunately, for all their flaws, Ed and Stede are both observant, and even (occasionally) emotionally intelligent. So when Izzy starts devolving into a shaking wreck who cringes from them even as he tries to enjoy their touches, they do notice.

But every time Ed and Stede try to start an honest conversation on the topic of intimacy, Izzy clams right up and insists everything's fine.

This is fucking devastating to Ed and Stede because... they can't keep going like this. They've worked so hard - Ed especially! - to get to a point in their lives where they're happy and not hurting anyone. But Ed knows a thing or two about using other people to self-destruct, and looking at Izzy at the moment is like looking in a warped mirror. It's making him have almost as many breakdowns as Izzy, eaten alive with guilt and horror for all the shit he's done, all the people he's hurt, how he's hurt Izzy so awfully in the past (how it feels like he's hurting him still, though Izzy insists he wants it; Izzy insists he's okay...)

Eventually, for the sake of Ed's crumbling mental health, he and Stede sit down with Izzy and tearfully confess that they love him. They really do. But this isn't working out. Izzy isn't happy, and that's making them unhappy. They can't go on like this or they're all going to suffer.

Once they finish speaking, Izzy just. Crumples. And sobs. He's so stressed. He's so tired. He's so nervous and twitchy and flighty and he doesn't know why. He's tried SO HARD to make this work (by sacrificing his own happiness over and over and over, thinking it's inherently worth less than Ed and Stede's, refusing to believe that they couldn't be happy unless he's happy too).

And he's FAILED. Like he fails at every fucking thing.

Stede and Ed just. Look at each other. Like 'uhhhh I think we're missing something here'.

Once they finally get Izzy to tearfully confess that he just doesn't like sex and doesn't think he ever will they're like. Oh. Oh that's easy. We just won't have sex? You can still watch us if you don't wanna feel left out, or just hang in the room while we fuck, but you don't have to be involved? And the two of them get really excited and puppyish because oh my gosh this is a thing we can actually fix, maybe we don't have to break up after all?

But then Izzy is so embarrassed about how SIMPLE they made the solution and how he couldn't see it himself that he determines that they're better off without him after all, and runs away in the middle of the night to give them a 'fresh start'

To which, duh, Stede and Ed set off after him, because they're NOT gonna let Izzy sacrifice himself AGAIN for 'their' sake. The little twat.

There will be a happy ending but it'll take a while and they'll have to chase Izzy all over the seven seas to convince him to give their threesome another chance. The end.

[strangermarvelss]

second best- e.m (pt 3)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Cunningham!Female!Reader

Summary: with chrissy now off to college with her boyfriend, jason, eddie turns to you and wants to begin a relationship, making you feel a certain way about being his second choice

Warnings: angsty angst, second choice, shitty parents, eddie being a sweetie pants, confrontation, crying, happy ending

Request: Yes

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: finally part 3 to second best! enjoy :)- sava

part one | part two | part three

The nagging was constant since your parents arrived back from their trip. Dropping Chrissy off brought up so many emotions for them, and you were the unfortunate winner of having to deal with the aftermath. It all started when you greeted them as they walked through the front door, the cracks in your chest becoming larger thanks to their words and Eddie’s actions over the past couple of weeks.

As summer grew closer to a close, your parents kept insisting you go out more and live your senior year to the fullest, attending football games and making friends with the jocks Chrissy left behind, or going to Starcourt and shopping for new outfits for the school year, which wasn’t starting for another two weeks. They were growing agitated by your constant presence, something you never really picked up on because you spent so much of your time with Eddie.

Eddie.

The metalhead had given you the space you asked for, calling every now and then to check on you and try to talk with you, only you kept your conversations sparse and brief. You could tell by the sound of his voice he was hurt, but you were hurting too, more so now that your parents were home and continuing to pressure you into becoming the perfect daughter you apparently never were.

The sad part? You missed the safe haven Eddie provided you over the years. It was always either him or Chrissy you would run to when things got bad, but a majority of the time it was Eddie. He knew your parents treated you unfairly when compared to Chrissy, which made being his second choice all the more hurtful.

You walk through the door of your home, shopping bags in hand as you toss your keys on the side table. Taking your mother’s suggestion, you went to Starcourt and cleared your head, grabbing a few new pieces for school that you wanted to go try on. Walking towards the kitchen, you hear a fit of laughter erupting from the dining room. You peak your head around the corner and see your parents and the next door neighbors sitting at the table, a feast sitting in front of them.

“Hey,” you let out timidly. You watch everyone’s heads turn to you and the neighbors greet you with a slight smile. 

“Sweetie what are you wearing? I thought you went to buy nice clothes,” your mother asks. You glance down at the Metallica that hung loosely on your upper body, completely forgetting you were wearing Eddie’s shirt until now. Keeping some of his clothing was such a force of habit, you’d began to forget what wasn’t already part of your wardrobe. 

“Uh, yeah. I got a few things from the Gap and JCPenny,” you explain, lifting the shopping bags into their sight. She rolls her eyes and leans in a bit to whisper across the table towards the woman neighbor.

“She’s still going through a phase, I suppose. Our Chrissy never had anything like that happen, always the perfect angel,” she lets out, not bothering to lower her tone all that much. You rest your arms at your sides, letting your shoulders slump a bit, until you meet the gaze of your father, his stern look boring into you, making you reposition yourself.

“Anyway, Y/N, you know Daniel, right? He’s going to be the new basketball team captain once the season starts, now that Jason Carver’s off to college with your sister,” The woman explains. You give Daniel a small wave, him nodding in response. You two had classes together and used to ride the same bus, so of course you remembered him. But he was a dickhead, much like the rest of the jocks at Hawkins High. He would always join in on the taunting of Eddie during lunch, which is when your feelings towards the boy grew bitter.

“See now Y/N, if you started to date Daniel here, you could be the new Chrissy and Jason, following right in your sister’s footsteps,” you mother smiled, taking the fork seated beside her and picking up the green beans on her plate.

“Are you going to join us dear? Maybe we can all catch up, and you can tell us what you’ve been up to,” your neighbor says. She was always so friendly towards you, which makes you wonder how her child could turn out so horrible. Your mother rolls her eyes and continues to eat.

“T-that’s okay, I grabbed something at the mall,” you lie. Taking a few steps back, you turn your body away from the dining room and make your way up towards your bedroom. Dropping the bags on your floor, you collapse on your bed, small tears pricking behind your eyes and threatening to break free.

You hated that you let their judgmental words and actions get the better of you. Chrissy was always the one to stand up to them in a way, being your protector when things got out of hand. It made you wonder how they viewed her as the perfect daughter when she could really bite back at times.

Picking up the phone you got to have in your room now that Chrissy moved out, you dial the number to the person you needed to talk with most, hoping there is some possibility that he would be able to come help you.

“Family Video, the place to find all your movie rental needs, this is Steve, how may I help you?”

“Steve? When do you get off tonight?” You ask, a sniffle escaping pass your lips.

“I close tonight, but is everything okay? Do I need to leave Robin to do it all alone tonight?” Steve asks.

“Uh no! You are definitely not doing that!” You hear Robin shout over the phone, making you chuckle slightly. 

“Okay, scratch that. But I can come by after? Like around 9:30?” He suggests. You appreciated the sentiment he was showing you, he’s always been a great support system, especially within the past few weeks. 

“No, it’s okay. I appreciate it though. I hope you both have an easy closing shift,” you tell them. You bid them farewell and hang up the call, blowing out a sigh you held deep within your lungs.

Other than Steve and Robin, you didn’t have many more friends. Nancy moved to Boston shortly after Chrissy left, Emerson’s classes starting soon, so she was no longer an option to help sooth the worries and judgements away. Your sister would know just how to comfort you in this kind of situation, and it took a lot not to go knocking on her bedroom door and wrapping your arms around her as you cry.

You pick up the phone once more, dialing the last number you thought you’d call today. The emotions your parents were bringing on were clouding your judgement, making you not think rationally. The hole is your heart was aching to be stitched together again, to have some kind of peace in your life once more, even if it did feel like it was still too soon.

You didn’t want to do it. Your head was screaming at you to say no.

Ring. Ring.

But your heart? It was telling you to keep the line going.

“Munson Residence! How may I assist you,” Eddie answers, a silly accent accompanying his words. If it weren’t for your sour mood, you’d laugh at his antics, something you’d always do. But today, with everything going on within your recent history, on top of your parents, it was not the time for it.

“I miss you,” you mumble out. 

The line was quiet. You could hear the static radiating through the phone, nerves building up more and more as you continued to wait for a response. 

“I miss you too, Y/N,” he finally lets out. You let out a few sniffles, his voice making you feel safe enough to show some kind of emotion, unlike your conversation with Steve. It was nothing against Steve, he just…he wasn’t Eddie.

“I need you Eds. Can I come over?” you ask, more sniffles quickly accompanying your words. You used to be able to just go over without even letting him know before, so asking felt like the most foreign feeling in the world.

“Of course, sweetheart. Door’s unlocked, always will be for you,” he answers, his voice soft and sweet. You place the phone back on its dock and grab your jacket, opening your door and making a haste exit out the front door, not that your parents would notice anyway.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The journey to Eddie’s was filled with silence, the occasional car passing by and owl cooing around you. You were lucky the walk to Eddie’s trailer wasn’t that bad, only about 30 minutes. It gave you a lot of time to think about just want you wanted to say to him. The past few weeks have been lonely, and despite your fight, you missed him terribly, even more so now that your parents were home. 

He was always your rock when things got bad. It became a ritual for you to just drop by his place and seek comfort from him when your parents were being assholes, and he would provide it. That’s what best friends do. So having him treat you like your parents did, just a replacement for Chrissy, felt horrible, and you really needed him to know that.

You walk up the stairs and unlatch the screen door to Eddie’s trailer, turning the knob on the other door and walking inside. You hear the soft sound of his tapes muffled behind the door of Eddie’s room. Not a lot has changed in the weeks of your absence from the trailer, a few new mugs added to Wayne’s collection and maybe a hat or two, but nothing wild. You loved the coziness of Eddie’s place, it felt warm and welcoming compared to your own.

“Eddie?” you call out, your hands wrapping around your body. The nerves you’d forgotten about slowly make their way up your spine, a chill cascading throughout your body as you watch Eddie open the door. The music is a lot quieter now, Eddie having turned it down before opening up. His hair is a bit disheveled, and he has dark circles with bags under his big brown eyes. A frown begins forming on your lips, seeing the state he’s in, what hell he’s been going through with the time you’ve taken away from him.

He’s quick to walk over to you. His feet carry him in an instant, only mere inches from your form. You look up to him, the tears you managed to fight off for so long finally coming to the surface, your face crinkling as your hands come up to muffle your sobs. Eddie wraps his arms around you, bringing you close to his chest as he buries his head in your hair. All the words you had planned to say suddenly left your mind, his touch against you turning your brain to utter mush.

“They’re so fucking cruel, Eds. I hate it there,” you tell him through broken sobs. He rubs your back, mumbling incoherent phrases in your ear as he continues to hold you close. Your arms find their way around his torso, squeezing him and pulling him closer to you.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you have to keep putting up with that, sweetheart,” he tells you. You retreat from his touch a bit, peering up at his face through your soaked lashes. He takes his thumb and wipes away your tears, giving you a small smile. “I’m also sorry about everything I did to you a few weeks ago.”

“Eddie-“

“No, Y/N, please, I need to get this out there. I was an absolute jackass for how I treated you. I should’ve known better, and I’ve had a lot of time to think about us during our time apart. And I know now that what I was trying to show you a few weeks ago wasn’t a mistake. I tried to kiss you because I love you, like really love you,” he explains to you. You feel your breath hitch in your throat, his revelation throwing you. You were emotional and/or mind was running a mile a minute, but you couldn’t have missed those words even if you tried.

Eddie loved you.

“I-I don’t understand. Eds, you love Chrissy…” your voice trails off, looking to the floor as the crystal clear memories of a few weeks ago flood your mind. You feel Eddie’s fingers tug at your chin, forcing you to look up at him gently.

“The love I feel for Chrissy is very different from the love I feel for you, sweetheart. I thought that was what I wanted, but being without you these few weeks? I’ve been in hell, and I didn’t realize how vital you were in my life until I didn’t have you. You’re the only person in the fuckin’ town who gets me, who really sees me. And you’re my biggest supporter, and I could never live with myself if I didn’t let you know how much you really mean to me.”

“Eds, I had no idea,” you say breathlessly. You wipe away a few more tears you felt spill over, a smile creeping up on your face. “You really mean all that?”

“Every single word. You and I, we’re gonna get far away from this town. You won’t have to deal with your parents anymore, and we can go somewhere we can be free to do whatever we fuckin’ want. It’ll just be me and you, and Chrissy and Jason can visit whenever they want. W-we can get a dog or cat or whatever! All I know is I want you by my side, Y/N. Forever,” he reassures you, his hand resting on your cheek and brushing the hair out of your face. 

Eddie really loved you.

“You have no idea how much I want that Eddie,” you tell him, standing on your tip toes to wrap your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a deep hug. His hands wrap around your torso once more, squeezing you tight, as if you’ll fly away if he lets go. He pulls back, looking at you with sad, pleading eyes.

“Please, Y/N, I really hope you can forgive me for how I acted. I don’t ever want to see you hurt like that night again, or the day at Family Video. Hell, even seeing you like this tonight is breaking my cynical little heart. I get it if you still hate me, really I will,” he lets out, tears of his own forming in his eyes as he lets out a small chuckle. He was never good at staying serious for too long, and showing emotions was hard for him, given everything he’s been through in his life. You smile up at him and rub away his own tears, his dimples coming to life at the feeling of your soft skin on his. 

"I could never hate you Eds. Never," you tell him. You lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek, pulling away to see his eyes wide with happiness at your gesture. You smile and nuzzle back into him, giving his body another squeeze. You knew Eddie was a man true to his word, and hearing him speak so passionately to you and tell you just how much you mean to him made your heart grow three times its original size. It felt nice finally having someone love you the way you love them, no nasty comments or heartbreak would come from him, not anymore at least. 

Eddie pulls away from you and takes your hand, leading you towards his couch and plopping down, gesturing for you sit down next to him. You swing your legs across his lap instead, a laugh leaving Eddie’s mouth and you snuggle him close. 

“It’s just gonna be me and you, baby. I promise I’ll give you a better life with what I can, alright?” He tells you. You smile at him and go to kiss his cheek again, but he’s quick to whip his head and meet your lips. You giggle into his mouth, leaning back and resting your head against his shoulder. The countdown to graduation officially began, ready to go and explore the rest of the world with the man sitting next to you, ready to finally feel what true happiness feels like.

[ruggiethethuggie]

SEBEK X GN!READER

WC: 701 tags: one shot, idk comfort ????, sebek zigvolt, gn!reader, mild cussing, teasing (i mean this in a SFW way !!!!!!!!!), they make fun of sebek for being loud >:?, not proofread go figure

a/n: to be honest, i said i was done writing and was going through my docs and found this... i wrote this out of anger (which is kinda funny) because i kept seeing people be mean about sebek awhile ago, and yes, if i was a violent person i would like to hit all of you who say things like this about that tall, mint green haired, greenish yellow eyed, pretentious ding dong of a man, how dare you- he is baby.

All eyes were on you as you stood there clenching your fist, gritting your teeth, and glaring at the other first years in front of you. You had had enough of it. All the times they made jokes about “oh, I wish I had duct tape” or “oh god, here comes loud mouth” every time Sebek would go to give his input on something, Sebek acted as if it didn’t bother him, but you? It bothered you more than you thought it would. “One more word, and I swear by all things vested in me, I will hit you so hard, you’re going to be begging Sam for a magic potion to heal your wounds- external and internal.” Your voice was stern and slightly aggressive so they took you seriously.

“We were just joking,” Deuce said quietly. He could tell by the look on your face that you meant business, you didn’t find their little jokes funny at all. “Sorry, Sebek,” Jack apologized. Jack never partook in the endless jokes and teasing Sebek endured from the other first years, but he was never the person to ask them to stop either. You gave each of the first years a look that you hoped would be engraved into their souls before turning around and going back to your desk. You angrily opened your notebook and started writing, not really sure what you were even trying to write down, but trying to find something to do to occupy your heated mind.

After a few minutes, you could hear the boys go back to having their frivolous conversation, but you looked up as you saw someone standing beside you from the corner of your eye. Your gaze met that of the tall, green-haired Diasomnia student’s. Your eyes wandered the room confused as you sat up at your desk, looking past Sebek to see if the first years put him up to some stupid prank, but none of them were paying either of you any attention anymore. “Yes, Sebek?” you said as you put your pencil down. “I just wanted to tell you thank you,” he responded. “Hmph, you shouldn’t let them be shitty to you all the time,” you scoffed as you went back to writing. Sebek chuckled and took the seat beside you. “Maybe not, but I appreciate you saying something nonetheless. But why’d you feel the need to stand up for me?”

The look in his eyes was genuine, he truly didn’t understand why you felt so offended by their words and actions when they never directly affected you. “Well.. because it’s rude for one. And I don’t care what you say, I know it bothers you.” The look you gave him told him you could see right through his lies he always tried to deny. He smiled softly as he looked down for a second. “You got me, let’s say it does bother me. It’s not that big of a deal to make you say something though.” You narrowed your eyes at him, not that big of a deal? “If it’s even slightly hurtful, then it’s a big deal. You can’t just ignore it. They’ll just keep doing it over and over again. They make me so mad sometimes.” Your gaze changed from Sebek to the other first years across the room, laughing and enjoying each other’s company it seemed.

“I just hate how they treat you, makes me feel all defensive. Like someone is attacking me at the same time.” Sebek shook his head at your words. “The words aren’t directed at you though,” he chuckled again. “You’re a bundle of heated anger right now, aren’t you? Why don’t we go somewhere after class. We can go walk through the botanical gardens? How does that sound?” You rolled your eyes at his words, but going to the garden might make you feel better, or at least you hoped it would. “Fine, Sebek. We can go after class.” You looked over at him, seeing him smiling back at you, and you playfully stuck your tongue out at him. “Stop staring at me, weirdo.” He laughed at your words and pulled out his own notebook to finish writing notes of his own. 

© Green Border | please do not copy and or repost my work as your own, my brain is massive and these are my thoughts.