#does this prove i have no self control? also yes

[enha-doodles]

Heyya I love your works 💗💗 and I was wondering if u u could do Slytherin boys reacting to the reader being a muggleborn 🥹

Classic yk🕺🏻🕺🏻

SLYTHERIN GUY'S REACTION TO YOU BEING A MUGGLEBORN | ✧⁺。

Pairing : (Mattheo , Tom , Theodore , Lorenzo , Draco) x muggleborn!reader

Note : tysm bestie 🤪🤪✨ also that is such a classic request !!!

Warnings : mentions of fighting , toxicness in Tom's (I mean?)

MATTHEO RIDDLE

Yes , he's got this thing against Muggle-borns, but if it's you, he's willing to put on his big boy pants and overlook it. But don't you dare insult his girl's blood status, or else you'll witness a show even Voldemort himself would be proud of! Picture it: a bunch of Slytherin wannabes start spouting nonsense about you not being worthy of Mattheo because he's the Dark Lord's spawn, and well you're just a stupid mudblood.

That sets Mattheo off like a firecracker! He goes all Hulk mode, smashing and bashing until they're all groveling at his feet. "Stay in your fucking place, you piece of shit, or else you won't live to tell the tale of Voldemort's son representing the Dark Lord himself!" He's a total hotie in fight mode btw

TOM RIDDLE

Now, Tom's got issues. He's got this whole orphanage baggage weighing him down, but deep down, he's just a lovesick puppy because he never received any. Sure, he hates the whole blood status talk, but he loves you more than he hates it. And merlin, does he have a way of showing it! He'll dominate and control like it's his daily job, but common, it's all out of love, right? And if anyone dares to even look at you funny, bam! It's going to be a hex city, and guess whose the population ? them.

But if you try to disobey or disrespect him he won't hesitate to return to his true self , he'd grab your chin harshly and menacingly whisper, "You're just a filthy mudblood, know your place. Here, God isn't your lord. I am."

THEODORE NOTT

hmm, Theodore, the rebel with a cause. He's not like his father , nothing like him at all and he constantly wants to prove it , this is just one of those things that help him show you and others that he's different.He couldn't care less about blood status drama. Nope, if he loves you, he loves ALL of you, flaws and all.

He'd threaten everyone around that you're his girl and if anyone says anything to you or if they try to hurt you then they'd be found dead before they can say sorry . "Get this in your stupid ass head, you dick - you mess with her, you mess with me and remember I don't pull bunnies out of a hat ."

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

Lorenzo's like that curious cat who just can't resist poking his nose into everything. Muggle stuff? Fascinating! Like Theodore he wouldn't mind . He'd actually ask more about how it's there and all the technology intrigues him but he'd still be on about how magic is better . He would support you all the time and try to indulge in stuff to make you feel better .

Would threaten his friends to be mindful of their words around you because you're very dear to him and he wouldn't mind a punch to two if it means you're protected "Hey hey hey , watch it or I won't!"

DRACO MALFOY

Draco, return of the drama queen of Slytherin lmao . He'll start off all high and mighty, spouting hurtful things left, right, and center. But when reality hits and you stop talking to him , he realizes he's messed up, cue the banging at your door , sputtering out apologies and the gifts galore - rich boy lowkey buying his way out but you can't complain because he's got all your favourite stuff .

Draco would kinda joke to lighten the mood "God, I love you, but my father cannot hear about this." Classic Draco, am I right?

。　　　　✧　　　　⁺　 　 　。

TAGLIST : @sugarcandydoll @helendeath

[samubytheocean]

Osamu body heat hcs

Osamu radiates so much body heat and he’s kind of self conscious about it, especially in the summer. He hesitates to pull you into his arms, because he himself already is burning. He sweats buckets, and it’s a little different from Atsumu because whereas his twin kind of forgets about the fact that he is drenched with sweat, Osamu will visibly be in a bad mood until he is able to take a shower.

He won’t give you hugs after working out, because he doesn’t want you to get uncomfortable. Doesn’t smell bad, because he’s so up in his head about it and does his best to take care of himself, but definitely thinks that he does. I feel like his big hands will be burning, not very sweaty, pretty dry and rough even, but like searing hot to the point he flinches when he touches your relatively cool skin. Builds the habit of randomly placing his hands on the back of your nape when you have your hair up or something, just to mess with you.

All that being said, you bet he’s the best human heater in the winter. Definitely the type of guy who will kick off the covers at night, unconsciously of course, then proceed to crawl on top of you in his sleep when you whine that it’s literally freezing. Also the type to handle cold really well but does terrible with heat. Doesn’t like his hair sticking to his face with sweat, that’s one of the reasons why he liked volleyball so much, because it’s an indoor sport and there’s always ac on.

He will absolutely drive you insane about how he is so fixed on not wearing a coat or a jacket in the middle of winter. He already has a sweater on, and yes it took much convincing to put that on as well because he claimed that his hoodie would be just enough. Also he would take it off, even in a snowstorm, with just the thinnest shirt underneath, if you said you were cold. Not even trying to be a gentleman for you. Just takes it off and puts it on you, asks you if it smells okay, smirks a little at you blinking at him so puzzled about how the hell is this guy not freezing to death, rubs your cheek and say that the sweater seems a little big on you. and proceeds whatever he was doing, in just a shirt, in the middle of December.

Says it was getting hot anyway in the most dead pan face ever, you can’t tell if he’s being ironic. (He really isn’t, and he’s acting even more satire just to mess with you.) What makes you so messed up is that he does not get sick. In any shape or form, it’s pretty impossible for him to catch a cold. He does get migraines when he’s outside for too long, but pretends to not have them just to prove that he does not need another layer. Menace.

Works well for you in some ways in the summer though. Would refuse to put on clothes in the house. Just boxers, and maybe basketball shorts if you’re begging. Maybe. Would argue that he’s doing you a favor, giving you some smexy show for nothing, and yeah you do appreciate the sculpted back and thigh muscles maxed out now with those delicious little bits of fat on full display, only if he wasn’t a complete jerk with the ac settings.

Yeah definitely seems like the guy to unironically hide the controller and actually sulk when you turn the settings down. (Atsumu comes in again here. Anyone with siblings knows what it’s like with the ac settings. Old habits.) It’s always freezing at your house, especially if you come back from work you swear that he is the main reason for global warming (affectionate). He really does try for you, turning it a little higher few minutes before you get home, but secretly loves the way your small frame scrunches up from the chills and huddles up to him, body sticking to him for some warmth. He has always hated how he radiated so much heat, but with your bickering and cuddles, he’s beginning to think that maybe, it was like that all along for a sweet reason. (he’s annoying but he adores u)

[astropookie]

Mars/mars pc astro observations bc yes

jjk

*birth chart + tropical

I’ve noticed you can spend more time with people who have the same sign mars as you or you can feel more comfortable, daah.

mars trine saturn are so fucking loyal to what they’re archiving, they take their time, they could be fucked up on following other things but when they have something in mind, they’ll do it.

scorpio mars could be synonym of transformation, sadly this people could have had a special person in their life who was going through a rough time and they were by their side, scorpio mars not knowing what to do with all that amount of energy, feeling guilty and desperate. they could have been used to an anxious environment.

aquarius mars stop being so concerned and furious when you don’t understand others behavior, not everything is logic. I get it, you’re aware of how people act and how things work but that doesn’t mean you have to act like that to feel accepted -don’t take this seriously-. also, you look cute when you’re feeling yourself💋🎀

6H mars ik it’s daily for you, being mad and everyone noticing but you, or you’re not mad and everyone thinks you are? don’t get mad if I don’t left something you let me in the same way you gave it to me!! -exaggeratedly-. Don’t get mad if we’re not as organized as you!! don’t put your energy on those things, being mad on little details

mars at 5°, 17° or 29° (leo degree) STOP WITH THE PRIDEFUL ATTITUDE, you can’t even apologize wisely

mars at 9° or 21° (sagittarius degree) YOU CAN’T TAKE THINGS SERIOUSLY when they’re confronting your unserious attitude or EVER. you look like a little kid trying to scape, STOP. “You thought..”, then look at the consequences. too chill for my patience. -thinking of someone while typing-

3H mars why do they have to have the same taste in music as you so you’ll immediately find them attractive? or them having the same interests as you -same favorite movie, series, etc-. also they could be dorks 🤓☝️

mars opposition jupiter makes people who have this aspect feeling they’re stuck on their process of their goal/dream, they could feel they’re constantly in the process and not identifying their progress or the positive aspects. they could feel really insecure/have a low self stem, comparing themselves with others. they could be seem as too idealistic.

when you’re mad with libra mars they can have a “I did nothing incorrect/wrong” attitude, they could even ask “when did I did that? Prove it”, like you remember every detail like them 😒

8H mars are MOODY, they have to do what they want and often base their decisions on how they feel. they don’t force things, they do how they feel. when they were children, they could have been seen as aggressive or unstoppable? unpredictable

sun square mars screams issues with your dad or the opinion of your dad and how he does things has/have had a lot of impact on your life and identity, way of proceeding. impulsive and gets excited like a kid when you give them a candy, oh but when you take it away…RUN.

as a mars at 10° or 22° (capricorn degree), yes I feel the need to be in charge -boss around-, I’m learning to not want/understand I don’t have to be in control every fucking time 😏 In every aspect. 

I’m still thinking virgo mars is the most resentful of all of them. they’ll do ANYTHING to protect their loved ones, they do everything they can to try to understand them, they’re so DEDICATED. it’s an honor to be one of their few special persons.

mars at 3°, 15° or 27° (gemini degree) LOVES, NEEDS to receive affirmations about how good they’re, in bed. a “I love your ass” will be a motivation to do more things…again, if it’s not in bed, they need to know how they’re doing things, they need communication to feel secure or that they’re doing it good.

mars persona chart*

gemini 5H in mars persona chart indicates is fucking hilarious/fun for you to tease people. how, when and what you talk, you do it on purpose, to see how far someone patience can last or to analyze their reactions. in every aspect. you can have a way with words that helps you to initiate things easily in bed.

cancer 6H in mars pc can mean you have to feel you like the sport you’re about to do to actually have motivation and be constant with it. for example, I started going to gym bc a friend was practically asking every day if I could be her gym partner, I didn’t want to and when I finally went was bc principally she was gonna be there, I emphasize with her and had to do something for my mental health -everyone was mentioning I had to-, not bc I like to do sport? Or going to the gym? I like how I’m feeling?😭 idk how to explain it.

aries venus in mars pc yes we know people who are horny makes you horny. you love how focused are on their life and how much they think on what they can do next, that they’re not wasting their time. it makes you wet 😝 that they get mad over little things and that they’re direct and a little idiots to process things.

taurus mercury in mars pc are so possessive, they want to know if you’re about to come and to affirm it, to tell them they made you feel so good to then choke you. they want proves on how good they’re doing it and how they can be better.

cancer mars in mars pc can be turned on whatever has to do with a mother figure 😭 or what’s seen as feminine? But more on a mother way. for example, if someone is taking care of them unconditionally and has this cancer aspect -big boobs, round face, innocent eyes- they’ll imagine being taken care in another way later

mars-uranus aspects in mars pc is attracted/turned on to people who are rejected by society, someone who is seemed as rebel or does change. not necessarily they have to be part of a social movement but since little details. for example, what’s rejected by conservative people, piercings 😝 an unique way of standing for themselves, etc.

neptune 1H in mars pc: you feel yourself with the unexpected. you even get horny?😭 your personality could be even unexpected.

♡ Based on personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

♡ English is not my first language.

♡ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for tabetharasa behind the cut; alpha Jazz, a dark alley, and a very pretty omega. ( + non-chrono link for mobile users )

Jazz has no idea why Red Hood thinks he smells anything but delicious, but there’s a very reckless and dubiously-ethical part of her that would be willing to prove it to him. Not that she would, obviously, because that would be, again, incredibly unethical and highly inappropriate and also a total dick move. 

She just could, that’s all. Just if it came up or whatever. 

“Well, it’s not,” she says, mildly put out by whatever’s going on here, and Red Hood growls. His scent blockers continue to be useless. Just–absolutely useless, yes. 

Ancients, he smells so good. What is she even supposed to do about how good this omega smells? 

Maybe offer to walk him home, or at least offer him her jacket so he has enough alpha scent on him that no one bothers him on his way back to his den. Although he’s a crime lord–or a vigilante? one or the other, whatever–who’s built like a truck, so that probably isn’t really a concern, she supposes. 

Then again, some people seriously do have no sense of decorum. 

Or survival instincts. 

“Shut the fuck up!” Red Hood snaps. Jazz frowns. That seems like a disproportionate amount of anger in his tone. Maybe he's sensitive about his pheromones. Well, if people have been telling him he smells like death . . . 

Though “death” doesn't necessarily smell bad, in Jazz's opinion. 

Admittedly, that's a liminal's opinion and besides the point anyway. But still. 

“Alright,” she says. “But can you get to your den safely? Or . . . somewhere you can den down, anyway, I don't know. I assume you have a headquarters or a safehouse or two, something like that. Or at least can afford a heat hotel or know a decent clinic.” 

Red Hood hisses at her. It crackles through his modulator, but the sound of it still makes her jeans a little . . . uncomfortable, she'll just say. Sue her, she likes omegas with a bite to them. Johnny 13 definitely didn't win her over by being the sweet and polite type; he won her over by being a blunt asshole in a leather jacket who'd convinced her that he was a sincere and straight-up person. 

She wonders how “sincere” the average Gotham crime boss really is, but it’s a little difficult to concentrate on that question with the scent of old books and burning cedar filling up her nose. And also that note of lilac. That note of lilac is a problem. 

A serious problem. 

“I realize heat drop is probably imminent and you must be uncomfortable, but it’s a valid concern on my part, given your condition,” she says, which normally she’d make sound politely disapproving but really can’t make sound any kind of disapproving right now. Again: the lilac. “So can you?” 

“Fuck makes you think I'd let you anywhere near my den?” Red Hood snarls. Jazz blinks; tilts her head. 

“Nothing,” she says. “What makes you think I was asking to go anywhere near it?” 

Red Hood–stalls, briefly. Jazz tries to be polite about how incredibly obvious a tell that statement was. 

Flattering, but incredibly obvious. 

“I mean, I'd be happy to escort you if you’d like,” she says. “Or lend you my scent, if you need it. But I'm not trying to presume anything.” 

“Fuck off,” Red Hood snarls. “Nobody escorts an omega like me.” 

“Do you think maybe you have some self-esteem issues?” Jazz asks. Heat is almost definitely making him a bit more volatile and emotional than normal, considering the kinds of things he’s been saying to her, but it still seems like a valid question. Being on their cycle doesn’t make people different people; just makes it a bit harder for them to censor and control themselves. 

Or a lot harder, sometimes. 

Judging by how strong Red Hood’s pheromones smell right now . . . 

Well, he might be having a harder time than he’s used to having, so far as “controlling himself” goes. 

Jazz certainly is, all inappropriate knotheaded puns aside. 

Do Poison Ivy’s pollens make cycles hit harder, actually? Or does the suddenness of the effect disorient or throw people off, maybe? 

Well, that’s a worrying thought, since Red Hood seems to be out here alone. 

“‘Self-esteem issues’?” Red Hood repeats incredulously, his pheromones briefly sparking with bewilderment. Jazz decides not to press it, since he might be feeling a little vulnerable right now. 

“Yes,” she says. “Is there someone you can call, if you don’t want an escort or to borrow my scent? I could wait with you until they show. No offense, just Park Row’s not a very nice neighborhood.” 

Red Hood laughs. 

“No fucking shit!” he says, spreading his arms. “It’s Crime Alley!” 

“I know, sorry, I just keep accidentally calling it ‘Park Row’ in my head. Still new in town,” Jazz apologizes. She assumes a crime lord would prefer his territory be correctly referred to, anyway. Seems like a thing. She knows standard humans don’t actually have haunts–even most liminal ones don’t, including her–but sometimes she does . . . well, not forget, exactly, but just . . . expect them to anyway, she supposes? 

She spent way too long in Amity, yes. 

Even without Crime Alley being Red Hood’s actual haunt, though, it’s still disrespectful to call it the wrong name. It’s still his territory either way, and she imagines someone on their cycle especially wouldn’t appreciate the mistake. 

“What is your damage?” Red Hood snarls, his voice modulator crackling threateningly as he visibly bristles, and Jazz catches notes of that electric and unexpected edge in his pheromones again. Still vaguely familiar, but still not quite what it seems like it should be. Just . . . 

Really, if she didn’t know better . . . well, she’d think he was liminal. But that seems like a very unlikely coincidence for her first week in Gotham, so . . . 

Then again, her life is her life. 

It’s not really the time to be asking Red Hood about his levels of ecto exposure, though, and she’s pretty sure they’ve both got more important priorities right now. 

“We don’t really have time to unpack all that, to be honest. You really do need to get home,” she says. “Or at least call someone to pick you up. If you go into heat drop alone in Crime Alley, I can’t imagine it’s going to end well.” 

Red Hood hisses. That might’ve sounded like a threat, Jazz realizes belatedly. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she says, apologetic again. “But it’s not safe, is it?” 

“If anyone I don’t want near my ass tries to touch me, I’ll put a bullet up theirs,” Red Hood growls, low and crackling. 

“That seems like a lot of trouble when you’re on your cycle, though,” Jazz says. He’d have a body to deal with, and maybe someone would call the cops–well, she supposes it is Crime Alley, so maybe not . . .? But it’d be self-defense anyway, and if he is a crime lord, maybe he has people for that. 

Hm. 

She really needs to get familiar with this area as soon as possible, yeah. And just Gotham in general, really. Every city has its own idiosyncrasies, but Gotham is its idiosyncrasies. 

Well, so is Amity Park, of course. 

“I think you belong in Arkham, lady,” Red Hood says. Jazz feels like a Gothamite should be more understanding of someone taking supervillain attack side effects and hostile heated-up crime lords in stride, but apparently not. 

“Technically, you’re not wrong,” she says with a wry smile. She’d offer him a handshake, but that’s not really appropriate for an alpha to offer to an omega in heat. Especially not an unmated alpha, which Jazz very definitely is. “I start Monday. Jazz Fenton, psychiatric intern. At your service.”

Red Hood manages to very clearly stare at her without actually taking off the helmet. It's actually an impressive amount of expressiveness to get across, under the circumstances. 

Or there could be a touch of liminal empathy happening, admittedly. That's possible too. Especially with another liminal involved. 

Jazz briefly considers what knotting a liminal omega might actually be like if an empathy loop got established somewhere in the process, which is a lie, because what she’s actually imagining is picking up this liminal omega and showing him exactly how delicious she thinks he smells. 

Definitely inappropriate. 

“They will literally eat you alive,” Red Hood says. 

“I mean, there’s a risk of it,” Jazz allows, because nothing is a perfect guarantee. It’s just not a very large risk. Comparatively, she means. 

“You applied to Arkham on purpose, lady?” Red Hood says disbelievingly. 

“Oh, no,” Jazz says, shaking her head. “They made me an offer. Somebody read my thesis and liked it, apparently.” 

Well . . . “thought we should interview you for either a position or to have your file established for whenever the convictions start rolling in”, whichever. The interviewing psychiatrists had a range of reactions during her interview, she supposes is the best way to put it. 

Jazz really doesn’t think it’s fair to classify her parents as actual supervillains, but an increasingly long list of professionals has, admittedly, not agreed with that assessment. 

She can’t imagine what they would’ve thought if she’d told them about Danny, considering. 

Well, it’s not her problem if someone else is going to be close-minded about things like that. 

“I’m sorry, I’m really not trying to be pushy here, but are you sure you don’t want to call anyone? Or want my scent. Or . . . literally anything,” she says, gesturing a little awkwardly with her shopping bags. “I do get told my pheromones are pretty discouraging to unwanted attention, if that helps?” 

“Sure they are,” Red Hood snorts. Jazz tries not to look disapproving, given his compromised state. That kind of thing can bother omegas in heat, she knows. 

“That’s what people tell me,” is all she says. Obviously it’s not just the default parts of her scent that make it a strong deterrent, but as for the force of the emotions and claim she can put into it . . . 

Well. She just hears it’s “discouraging” to other alphas pretty regularly, that’s all. And also some betas, depending on their sexuality. And, um . . . well, a little closer to “catnip”, for omegas, but . . . 

“I’ll believe it when I smell it, knothead,” Red Hood snorts again. “Prove it.” 

Jazz isn’t sure that’s a good idea, considering–again–his compromised state, but, well . . . he’s clearly a strong omega himself, and maybe she’s a little miffed by him just assuming she’s lying about something like that, that’s all. She knows plenty of alphas do lie about their pheromones or even lay on fake ones, but . . . well, it’s hard not to wonder if he just thinks she’s a lesser alpha because she’s female, or because of how she’s dressed or looks or speaks, or just because. 

Her inner alpha doesn’t love the experience of one of the most gorgeous-smelling omegas she’s ever scented sneering at her worth as an alpha without even giving her a shot to prove it, either way. 

“Are you sure?” she asks.

[etherealsworldvision]

What is a step you can take toward your own well-being?

Before I begin the reading I’d like to take a moment to talk about: Marine Conservation Institute. They’re a non-profit organization working to defend our ocean by advocating for stronger protection and to save the ocean for all of us and future generations. If you’re interested do check them out and if you’d like to further support this organization click donate.

New song discovery for the reading: Elijah Waters - Perfectly Silent

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

🚨 P.S.A 🚨 : I do not give personal readings!

Added Description: all my readings are timeless and meant to reach those who resonate to the messages.

[ Collective Messages: 234 (or 2:34? I’m not religious but for some reason I got this?); Leaving the past behind; Elevating; Patience; Timing; Learning to walk again; Stumbling; Material abundance; Getting news about material/job offers; Your confirmation is Yes; Positive changes; Water wheel finally turning; Think before speaking; Rainbows and Sunshine. Mars Placements.]

Pile 1

“My head is like a washing machine. Tried to wash away these thoughts, still can’t get clean.”

Cards: 9 of Wands Reversed; Emperor; 10 of Cups Reversed; Empress Reversed; 2 of Hearts; Queen of Clubs; Six of Clubs

[ Messages: Stubborn; Self-Sabotage; Fear of Change; Overthinking; Stagnation; “Just Do It”; Red Sox; Baseball; Taking initiative; Ares; Aries placement; Coffee; Accepting your heart; Janine Teagues; “Things will go wrong whether you’re doing what you want or not. For me, regrets are always harder to live with than consequences. I don’t regret […] living my life to the fullest […] it’ll be alright, trust me.”– Mr. Johnson ( Abbott elementary S3EP14 timestamp 16:10 - 17:08). ]

The first thing standing out to me is your emotional and mental health. You may be experiencing a time where you’re unable to take care of yourself. This isn’t to shame you, I just want to acknowledge that you’re already doing enough. If no one said this to you today; I am so proud of you. Another thing I do want to say is: please reach out to your support system or check in with yourself. Honestly you don’t need to prove anything to be deserving of love and happiness. It’s okay to want and need something that emotionally fulfills you.

I feel like this pile is very independent and an over-thinker which can cause burnout, as well as aiding in self-sabotaging tendencies. For some reason I feel like you may “psych yourself out of it,” meaning you’re so excited about something only to get worried before having a chance. I know it’s a hard pill to swallow but it needs to be said. Self-sabotaging and overthinking is what’s holding you back. You may be experiencing Imposter Syndrome and Control issues as a result.

With the emperor, empress, and queen of clubs here — you are very much qualified to go after what you want. It does look like you're someone who knows what to do, is aware of the things you need, and what you want. I don’t know if it is a job or related to your social life, however, there’s this feeling of being overqualified for something or feeling deserving of more/better.

There is also a confirmation here that things will get better and you will get what you want. However, it is you who decides to go after it. I do recommend looking up books about self-sabotaging or YouTube videos about this topic. If you are in therapy, maybe this is a subject you’d like to bring up?

A good question to ask yourself is: What have I always accepted as true that turned out to be false?

So that’s all I’m getting. I know this reading is short and straightforward. I would like to say thank you for taking your time reading this and I hope this reading resonates with you.

Pile 2

[ Cards: King of Swords; The Devil Reversed; Page of Wands; Queen of Cups; King of Spades; 3 of Hearts; Jack of Diamonds; 5 of Hearts ]

Messages: Retreating; Refuting; Verbally Vindictive; 3H Mars; Leo or Cancer Mars; Fire and Water Placements; Trauma Dumping; Changes in Communication; Online Regina George Trope; Air Signs (Specifically Suns); Birthdays; Online Personality; Healing; Dictator - Rei Ami; YouTube commentary or essays about online ( trends )

I feel a bit overwhelmed when reading this pile. As if I have to be someone I’m not? I feel that social media is really coming in, especially TikTok/Twitter discourses. There’s this sense of having to upkeep and over consume to be considered a: ✨main character✨ otherwise “you’re just not cool and an utterly boring, basic loser, yuck 🤢 🤮, You’re not even a side character yikes.” /J (I am using sarcasm and joking).

For some of you I get the feeling that this could be stemming from social media addiction, others it may be, that you are embodying the online personality. Over all this just feels like a huge weight on your shoulders or a ball and chain on your leg. In an odd way; maybe your phone or whatever you use is home to you? It’s where you can express yourself via feelings, personality, opinions, etc. This is in no way to shame you at all. I also use social media and so does the next person, right?

There’s this need to give yourself a balance again. To double check with yourself on how you’re feeling after using social media. I feel most of you are ready to gain control of your media consumption or at least contemplate the effects it has on you. Taking a step back from social media — maybe trying out a hobby or just reconnecting to something that makes you feel like you may help.

Also if you want YouTube recommendations on over consuming let me know, I can send you the links. The number one takeaway is that it’s okay to be yourself. You being you is main character energy. No amount of products, social media influenced personality, or aesthetics can take that away from you. You are enough, I promise you that. It’s okay to want to change but if you’re feeling influenced by something that isn’t true to you then you might want to ponder on that and ask if that is really what you resonate with.

A good question to ask yourself is: What is one small step I can take today towards a goal that feels out of reach?

That’s all I’m getting for you pile 2! If you stuck around this far I’d like to say thank you so much. I greatly appreciate it and hope you resonate with this reading.

Pile 3

[ Cards: 4 of Cups, Ace of Pentacles Reversed; Five of Pentacles Reversed; Queen of Cups; 9 of Diamonds; 6 of Diamonds; Queen of Diamonds; Ace of Hearts ]

Messages; Open mind and heart; Chihiro by Billie Eilish; Money Growth; Finances; Earth and Water placements; Fear of Missing Out; Take out; Diners; Over consumption; Capitalism; Low Income; 111; Unemployment

( Tw: financial experience and control issues. Disclaimer: for some reason I feel called to talk about my financial experience and how I dealt with this. Maybe you’ll find what you’re looking for in my experience? )

So I had been unemployed for two years then found a job for 3 months then unemployed again for a year. When I tell you, I searched for a job everywhere, I mean everywhere! I applied everywhere and every time. I even tried to save what I could and budget with what I had (I live with my family and occasionally would get money. I understand/am aware of the privilege and support I have. I’m also very grateful and appreciate them)

I yelled at the universe, cried, and had sleepless nights. However, what helped me (besides living with my family) through this tough time is to focus on things I can control while applying for jobs. That’s what honestly made me stay afloat. So maybe this is what can help you during this trying time?

Finding a (free) third place meaning: the park, public library, or just a walk may help ease a bit of tension. Sometimes journaling or confiding with someone will help as well. Doing something that helps you remain in the present and eases the anxiousness could help. I know this may not be what you were looking for and I wish I can give you financial advice but that is not my forte.

There is only so much control we have when it comes to finances and it is certainly not a lesson from the universe or it’s not happening to you or happening for you. I don't care what they say, it is not a lesson! It is just an unfortunate situation to be in, it just is. Like yes you can learn from it but it is not something (pre)destined or “contract” written. It just happens and we live in late stage capitalism. That’s me being real with you.

So yeah, I’m sorry for the little tangent. What I am getting is to fill your emotional cup for the meantime. Yes, do what you need to do with your finances; finding a job or to save/budget money whatever you can do to the best of your abilities.

You just have to remember to do things that are within your control and to not neglect your emotional/mental health. If singing, drawing, talking, or simple things like cloud watching helps you stay present and makes you feel in control then by all means do that.

I’m not saying to use escapism but I am saying to do your best to emotionally check in with yourself from time to time. Also if you have a support system do talk with them or be around them. A good question to ask yourself is: “Who do I feel most myself around? Why?”

This is all that I’m getting for the reading. I hope this reading resonates. Again, I am so sorry if I made things worse or didn’t help! Please remember to check in with yourself — take care :)

[cynthiav06]

Do you ever feel like Percy just can't Say No To Annabeth? Like has he ever realized that she isn't good for him? I mean I believe that Annabeth is definitely a Toxic partner and not a good Gf for percy and people say "Oh Percy would no what abuse is because he lived with Gabe" but that is what abuse looks like from an Adult. but Percy has never had a Gf so he would have nothing to compare Annabeth too, so he wouldn't know what a abusive/toxic relationship is, Cause an abusive relationship isn't all about how many bruises the victim has, it's about the control and Power the abuser has on the victim and tbh some of the parts in the book make it seem like Percy is in abusive and toxic relationship and the stuff Annabeth does or how she acts towards Percy and as a Character regardless just doesn't sit right with me and made me not like Percabeth at all

Your question speaks to my soul. Thank you for asking.

Personally, I believe Annabeth as a character devolves as the series progresses, and her worst character flaws are somehow never addressed. The worst is this sense of codependency she projects on Percy.

The Fandom, for some reason, has her put on a pedestal even though it's Percy who gets himself out of most trouble, who makes the most strategies, and takes the most efforts. Even Rick's demigod life updates say Percy scores higher in studies than Annabeth.

Yet for someone reason everyone degrades Percy while they worship Annabeth. Nothing ticks me off more. The only thing Annabeth has on Percy is her extensive knowledge and nothing else, yet every character behaves as if Percy would be nothing without Annabeth. Nothing nothing could be more wrong.

The Fandom is so eager to call out every character's flaws, yet Annabeth's are never addressed. The toxic and possessive way she acted throughout the Battle of Labyrinth towards Percy, treating him as if she owned him and her repulsive behavior towards Rachel, should have been Percy's greatest Red flag.

Not to mention Percy gets taken to Romans, his memories taken and altered by Hera left to fend off for himself and Annabeth shows no lick of understanding or supportiveness to Percy's troubles not just then but ever.

Not only that, she had the blatant audacity to criticize Percy for leaving her as if it were a choice on his part.

Annabeth literally spends the start of The Last Olympian in which Percy is dealing with the immense pressure of his looming death and the fate of the world being oh his shoulders and she is neither supportive nor understanding when he is reasonably panicking but also instead gets mad at him.

All in all, Annabeth spends the entirety of their relationship complaining, projecting unreal expectations on Percy, being controlling and toxically possessive.

I could rant all day about it, but essentially, Percy's first intimate connection with any woman other than his mother was with Annabeth.

Everyone knows Percy's deep deep seated self esteem issues, so in his mind Annabeth is too good for him, and he doesn't deserve her. Annabeth should be proving to Percy how awesome and great he is, how they both are equally deserving of each other instead of further worsening his self-esteem.

But Percy is so afraid of losing her that he goes by whatever she says. Rick himself literally writes how relaxed and better Percy feels with Rachel yet never mentions it ever again.

I agree that Annabeth was understandably terrified in Tartarus but by what right does she make Percy promise to not use a power he would obviously need for self defense, a power that just got them out alive from a Primordials clutches?

There's not one thing Annabeth has done that is truly selflessly for Percy. Yes she took a knife for him which is very good of her but honestly are you telling me anyone who has traveled with Percy for so long for whose sake Percy has frequently risked his own life wouldn't do the same?

Aside from that one action, Annabeth has never never done anything purely out of consideration of Percy's comfort , his trauma, and his insecurities.

She plays by fear as Percy says he has a healthy fear of her. There's no such thing as healthy fear. No healthy relationships should contain a hint of fear.

So yes Percy can't say no to her because he fears no one would love him if Annabeth doesn't, he never wants to lose her believing her to be the only person that would accept him despite all his flaws. And these delusions make him agree to everything Annabeth says. This is both wildly untrue and extremely toxic and unhealthy in a relationship.

[actual-changeling]

Welcome back to a meta post that was not supposed to exist, but I fucking love answering questions, so here we are.

i got an ask (the answer contains a tl;dr) about why I think Crowley has unstable relationship patterns, and the following will be a detailed look at why this is the case, how Aziraphale plays into it, and what it ultimately means for the two of them.

This won't be as unhinged as my usual analyses, so consider this a special edition of Alex's unhinged meta corner - now hinged.

As always, please remember that this is my personal interpretation—not a generalization—and that genuine questions are welcome, either here on the post or in my inbox!

Everything I will say is based on research I have done, books & studies, and many, many conversations with my therapist (and at points my psychiatrist too); just so you know I'm not making shit up as I go.

Now, in the context of trauma-related/based disorders, what exactly does it mean to have unstable relationship patterns, and how does it apply to Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship?

Canonically, heaven does not care about what Aziraphale is doing and they are not keeping an eye on him. We know this both from references in the script and their dialogue and what we see throughout the show as a whole. That "fear" of being found out should he openly commit to Crowley is, for the most part, self-fabricated.

Yes, hell would potentially punish him (that potentially is another long post), but that is not something Aziraphale gets to take and use against Crowley, and the fact that does it anyway to 'prove' that he is not behaving incorrectly is a big issue.

What that leaves them with is a very common and well-known relationship pattern that requires a lot of self-awareness, control, and work to break it.

Aziraphale and Crowley get closer, spend more time together, their relationship grows and the intimacy increases, resulting in their behaviour changing to reflect that. They go on more romantic-coded dates (e.g. 1827, whatever the fuck 1941 was), eat together more frequently, drink together and feel comfortable enough to get drunk drunk while in each other's company—which always carries the inherent risk of doing something 'forbidden' while their impulse control is lowered.

I think the second episode of season one is actually a great example for all of this. When they drive to Tadfield, there's a mutually respectful conversation, they tease each other, they bicker like an old married couple, and don't fall into blaming the other for the situation they're in. At the manor, they are openly flirting from the start, laughing about the paintball guns and blowing kisses to miracle away stains, and the wall slam scene honestly speaks for itself.

I wrote a detailed analysis of it right here, which contains the conclusion that the entire interaction was intentional and orchestrated by the two of them.

They are doing great, they're comfortable, intimate—both physically and emotionally—and their sides are already on their asses about the apocalypse, so why not commit to the relationship?

Because Aziraphale gets scared, scared of intimacy, scared of what it would mean for his life, scared of what it would force him to confront (his faith, mostly, which is another gigantic topic), scared of the changes it would bring to their relationship, scared of breaking out of the pattern they have been moving in since the very beginning.

So he pushes, hard. He insults and denies and hurts Crowley to get as far away from all of that as possible. Push & pull, no matter when, no matter why, it's always the same.

At this point you might be thinking Alex, this is all on Aziraphale, how is this also Crowley's unstable relationship pattern? The answer to that question can be roughly summarized in one sentence:

He does not punish or discourage Aziraphale's behaviour.

There are NEVER lasting—if any—negative consequences for Aziraphale when he forces them into the push/pull dynamic, when he insults him, denies their relationship, calls him evil, you name it. No matter what Aziraphale does, Crowley always forgives and forgets and comes back to him, essentially resetting their loop. That way there cannot be any progress because they're not moving a single inch in either direction that isn't carefully organized and controlled by Aziraphale.

Why does Crowley not confront him? Because he is scared too.

Now, THIS is the part where I explain why I said Crowley has unstable relationship patterns. It is important to understand that Aziraphale's kind of instability is only one possible manifestation, and that they are—broadly speaking—on opposite ends of the spectrum, which not only makes them incredibly compatible, but also makes them worse.

Crowley is terrified of losing Aziraphale permanently and being on his own. God rejected him, heaven rejected him, hell rejected him—his life as been one traumatic incident after the other with a strong focus on abandonment and neglect, especially from people he cared about.

He says himself that Aziraphale is his only friend, he doesn't have anyone or anything else. The bookshop is Aziraphale's anchor, but Crowley has nothing except the Bentley and whatever Aziraphale allows him to partake in. Hell can take his job, his flat, punish and torture him as they please, and make his life, well, hell.

With the Bentley only appearing in the early 20th century, for 99% of his life he had nothing except for Aziraphale, his best friend, the person he loves.

So what does he do? He clings, he circles him and tries to push his orbit just a tiny bit closer whenever there's a gap he can use, trying to solidify their relationship. Terrified of being abandoned again, he swallows and ignores everything and anything negative.

The final fifteen are the FIRST TIME that Aziraphale asked him for something and he said no without changing his mind later—and it was literally the worst case scenario, the one boundary he has that he is not willing to cross for him, literally the barest minimum.

Every other time he relented, gave in, apologized for something that wasn't his fault, have Aziraphale everything he wanted from Hamlet over shooting a gun at his face to giving him the Bentley. Crowley's primary objective is to do whatever it takes to avoid being abandoned, so whenever Aziraphale DOES push back and abandons him/says that he will, he panics. He panics even more when there is an outside source threatening Aziraphale's presence in his life.

Look at how frantic he is when he finds Aziraphale after the bandstand, trying to say whatever it takes to get him to come with him. He does the apology dance, gives in when it comes to Gabriel, and never reacts to Aziraphale in a way that would prompt him to re-think the choices he is making, let alone stop doing the push/pull.

His identity revolves around Aziraphale, his only relationship is with Aziraphale, he allows him to shape him to his liking as far as he can take and then some, he needs him to be happy, to enjoy himself, to live a life worth living—and Aziraphale needs him to be and do all of those things so he can keep up his behaviour.

They are dangerously co-dependent and just spiral deeper and deeper until they hit rock bottom and are forced to separate.

Look, I have BPD on top of everything else, I have been in a relationship with this exact pattern in Crowley's role, and it is fucking horrible. Absolutely unbearable. My ex-partner was like Aziraphale, pulling and pushing and pulling and pushing but on a daily basis, every few hours. No amount of talking or begging could get them to not behave in a way that would hurt me, and I was so emotionally tied to them and terrified of being alone that just like Crowley, I relented every. single. time. A year and a half and they never, not ONCE, apologized for anything. Ever. Not for hurting me, not for being an asshole, nothing.

The only way I got out was with a lot of therapy, support, and so much emotional work I was having several panic attacks a day because I was so fucking exhausted. Crowley and Aziraphale separating was the best thing that ever happened to their relationship.

Now, Aziraphale is facing negative consequences for his behaviour and is forced to examine himself and deal with all those fears causing him to behave the way he does. Crowley on the other hand is now forced to learn how to exist without Aziraphale to orbit around—he needs to develop an identity that exists outside of Aziraphale, so he can have boundaries and stick to them.

[neat-crows]

For some reason I've seen a lot of people disliking the way Jessica Jones season 1 ends. The vibe I've seen is that it wasn't epic enough, it was underwhelming, and that it was too simple and fast and Killgrave would be too smart to fall for it. etc etc.

I think these takes miss the point though. This is the only way he could have gone out, BECAUSE it wasn't an attempt to outsmart him at all.

The whole point is that Killgrave wasn't an epic villain, he was a weird misogynistic little control freak that was obsessed with owning Jessica because he couldn't stand that she was her own person.

The whole season is a game of cat and mouse between them, and you can see just how smart both of them are - they are both equally powerful and intelligent, BUT killgrave literally didn’t need to be doing this at all! He could have left ANY time, he didn’t have to send Hope after her, he could have left before the house, or after he escaped, or after the nightclub, literally WHENEVER

His obsession with controlling Jessica was always his downfall

She was the executioner, but in the end he brought it all on himself

He didn’t get an epic ending because it’s not ABOUT him and because he didn’t need one. It was never about outsmarting or overpowering him, it was about his incessant need for control and Jessica making a decision.

And it works SO WELL not just because it makes good commentary, but also because it mirrors exactly how Killgrave tried to get her to bend to his will; both of them aimed for each other’s emotional weak point - but killgrave failed because he doesn’t actually know or understand Jessica at all, just the version of her he made up in his head and made her play act like a little doll for him

He thinks her weakness is a hero complex, because the first time they meet she’s saving Malcolm from some muggers and killgrave asks her if it felt good to beat up those men, she says yes, and when he asks why she says

“Because I helped someone”

And he’s such an inherently selfish person that to him that translates to a hero complex - He can’t imagine a person who just wants to save people, not to bolster their self worth or to in some way help theme selves. He’s spent his entire life only doing things because he wanted to, because it brought HIM satisfaction, that the idea that someone might willingly do Anything that’s not to make them feel better doesn’t even cross his mind.

And that’s why at the house he shows her the (curated) videos of his childhood, why he “respects” her wishes about not hurting the nosy neighbor, why he goes and saves that family with her, and is genuinely helpful. His tactic to get her to stay with him is to show her how his powers can be used for good, show her he’s also a person who can experience pain and love and joy, and then make her ‘realize’ if she stays with him she could make him a hero and good person. Because he thinks she will sacrifice herself for him and for society if he presents it as a way to atone and heal her guilt.

But Jessica refuses. She betrays him and takes her own route while knowing if she had given up all her autonomy she could have made him a good person and saved countless lives. (I don’t think this was ever actually achievable but she believed it was so the point stands)

Jessica jones has a lot of problems, but a hero complex isn’t one of them.

But Jessica jones DOES know his weakness, his real weakness, her. Controlling the only person who could defy him. And yes it is an obvious and see through plan - Killgrave even calls it out! But then in order to prove she’s faking what does he do? He assaults Trish - and when she continues following his orders he FULLY believes it and completely lets down his guard.

Why? It’s such an obvious trick! He’s supposed to be clever!!!! Well it worked so well because he clearly WANTED to believe it so bad (self admittedly), he was drunk on his own power, he wanted to believe his own strength and he wanted to own Jessica again. But also because again

He thinks Jessica has a hero complex

Her allowing this to happen to her friend ? Jessica jones would never do this! He knows her so well! She just Can’t Help but Help people! If she was faking her helplessness this would have broken her out of it! (Also there’s the whole level of the jealousy he has of Trish and the love Jessica and Trish share but that’s for another post)

And so he dies, small, unable to speak, not being told he’s loved, with a simple snapped neck from a cheap, unplanned ploy, that was thought up on the spot. Just as he deserved.

[horizon-verizon]

The showrunners just continue to steal from TV Daenerys’s characterization and final storyline to improve their Rhaenyra (a self righteous Targaryen woman with delusions of grandeur ? Groundbreaking), but she remains completely boring and forgettable. Dust in the wind.

And even though TV Daenerys is radically and entirely different from her book counterpart (as much as I love Emilia Clarke), TV Daenerys’ daddy didn’t tell her she’s special, unlike Rhaenyra, Daenerys realized she’s special when she brought back dragons from extinction and walked out of fire utterly unharmed, please can people stop compare her to any of the mid characters from HOTD ??

Speak it again, anon, bc what?! It's quite obvious that they are trying to inject as much a literal magic layer of significance in Rhaenyra's story as magic was in Dany's Or they are trying to make Rhaenyra more "important" in the Targ lineage & "interesting" to those who loved Dany (which is most of the fandom, lets' bfr) to promote the show. And yet at every turn they have also excused D&D's atrocious illogical writing of Daenerys' core traits and convictions behind the ol' "GRRM has not finished his series".

We know that there are only 2 books left of this series and Dany is still very NOT like her show counterpart's more...demanding isn't the right word but for now, we'll go with it. Based on this fact alone, people are so much more willing to believe that Dany will turn a 180 somewhere in these last 2 bks and destroy KL or do something akin to Mad!Aerys "bc Targs are crazy and she seeks to be a white savior while profiting from slaves". That this extreme turn for her will not happen for someone like Jon Snow who literally came back from the dead after nearly all under his command killed him. That they don't feel it rather be Cersei, not Dany, who'd blow up KL despite all the comparisons and actions she has similar to Aerys in the text, word for word verbatim. No it has to be Dany, bec she is a "foreign invader" come to ruin the good town of Westeros with her slave-owning ways.

Ryan Condal recently said as much about the D&D defense on BigThink:

Besides, there were a lot other instances where it's clear the real reason why they demolished her was to move on from the project and they just didn't like Dany. Go on over to ozymalek/PhoenixAshes' Youtube and search through to see how they broke it all down.

And yes, Dany actually showed/has very good reason to believe her singularity and even this pseudo-religious quality from her revitalizing dragons, effectively patching up a lot of the magical balance of the world by doing so.

What's also pretty cool is that bk!her still doesn't think of herself as a "god" the way Euron Greyjoy is kinda heading towards/is already at.

So it's so fucking weird how they are trying to re-capitalize on Dany's effect and show!character (and before that, her nonviolenet ADwD arc about the pits) for their false version of Rhaenyra bc apparently we can tolerate and even like ambitious, vengeful, cruel, or just selfish men like Euron, Robert B, Robb (not evil, but went to war for his own ends and his armies also raped indiscriminately), TYWIN [Rains of Castamere, everything else], etc. BUT a woman who has even just the mere self-concern to want to claim back a throne that was DEFINITIVELY usurped?! Nah, apparently, that's too much. She's unsympatheziable.

For a woman, she HAS to be "unselfish", trying to prove a point to men--dead or alive--of her strength 24/7, but unable to settle with an idea of her own "strength" or worthiness, and thus eventually be lead into semi-unintentionally building some strange "cult" around dragons from Westerosi religiosity to feel in control & for people to sympathize with her. She HAS to--as one Twitter user said--have a problem with her gender identity so as to attribute "womanly" stuff as "weak" to want the same things as what a man are granted.

If the audience is stupid, does that mean you should be as well and perpetuate MORE sexist stereotypes/frameworks? No; HotD is for the money and comes form a place of ignorant "women guide violent men" narrative, no matter much it claims it is "feminist" or how lore-knowledgeable Condal says he is.

We all know this is a media company and Condal is more businessman than creator and that you need sorta both a business/production sense as well as a creative spirit for TV/film. Problem is that Condal is inevitably and attempting to build an ethos and ethical narrative while also treating the org stories and GoT as material to re-market through his own "vision" of what he'd personally like to see as a ASoIaF story.

Just bc this is a huge media company doesn't mean whatever they say is "God" for the actual story they were tasked to adapt! You can enjoy that and still recognize nothing about it or most of it informs the orig story or "proves" anything of it WITHOUT bringing up good reasoning and comparisons as to how-why!

Much of the characterization/writing/plot decisions he makes are not about feminism or making the characters palatable for others but to--like with a lot of censorship--just make it so that as many people as possible are watching and are comfortable with the most popular but incorrect ideas of what ASoIaF & feminism or sexism is about, etc.. those of which have already been in fandom and larger life/online circulation for YEARS.

Therefore, there is much superficiality as well as what could have been fleshed out and nuanced ideas or directions the current writing HotD has AS WELL AS Condal's/Hess' own biases written into the very fabric of this show that mark it as just ASoIaF "fanfiction" instead of a strict "adaptation". I know people get annoyed with the fanfic allegations, but if you have an "adaptation" that no longer has most-to-any of the core ideas, themes, characterizations, EVENTS, etc. as its original, you call that a fanfic, not an adaptation. Just bc it came from a prestige major studio/company and had a lot of money thrown at it, doesn't make it actually an adaptation.

If the author themselves--even though they should know better bc look what happened with Dany, Euron, Cersei-Jaime, etc.--say something is egregiously wrong with how they written a certain thing in the show, it is not actually using the orig lore and therefore it is more fanfic than adaptation:

Dany--unlike any other Targ, which includes Rhaenyra--has a relationship with 3 separate dragons even though she will only ride one. Vermithor should NOT have been as "docile" with Rhaenyra as they were in the show (saw another clip online, still haven't watched the episode). There is still a reason why Jace tried to get her out TWICE, why Viserys was upset at Aemond for going down to the Dragonpit alone, why Rhaena nearly died trying to bond with some, , why Nettles approach and SUCCESS with Sheepstealer is so amazing, why Baelon bumping a dragon on the nose gave him the moniker "Baelon the Brave", etc. Dragons are damned dangerous to anyone who aren't their rider! And Rhaenyra's "specialness" was evident in the plethora and rise of dragon eggs....you want to show her as such? Have dialogue about the trajectory of dragon eggs laid compared to now vs 40/30/20/10 yrs ago!

Yes, most of the Targ women are connected and esp through magic and fertility & expressed "Targaryen woman's strength" and agency in unique but still related ways. But as rhaenin-time once said:

HotD thinks it's somehow an improvement to insist that actually, no, they're all just (by circumstance) variations of a "generic targ girl" template.

You could have even have Rhaenyra stumble on something a GoT character later finds but not have her go into that deep about it bc she's focused on the war/usurpation if you really want to stick with the whole oversimplified "distracted by selfish stuff" going on. Point is, Rhaenyra's significance was meager compared to Dany's SPECIFICALLY when we talk about active and participatory spiritutality/magic. Passively and more subtly, Rhaenyra dying spelled the end of dragons...so be subtle about it and stop with the whole "religious cult" nonsense that really is just a continuation of the whole Dany-is-a-facist nonsense we got in the final season of GoT. "Targ madness" and all that.

Of course they won't bc this is Condal's "vision", but hey, got things off my chest.

[storiesofsung]

'Spread Thyn Wings🐉',

Draconia Fam HC: where their wings went

The Draconia Family's real form is said to be that of a dragon (Malleus commenting that it is his true form and him being hatched as an egg AND being a baby dragon) the human version is idk more of an afterthought. That being said, the members (or what we've seen so far) of the Draconia family do like to show (dare I say flaunt) these features, with Malleus and his horns and Mallenoa (Mallenor??) with her thick booty tail:

source: https://thenuitinthenorthernlights.tumblr.com/

Anyways that begs the question... why don't they (esp mama draconia i'll get to that soon) also show off thier magnificent wings? Now you can argue that "o h, it would be inconvenient since everything is human sized" nay I say, nay. This argument does make sense with Malleus since he is attending a school and there are many scenarios wherein a tail could cause hazards, so that I will give him a pass for hiding his glorious tail...However, Mama Draconia has no excuse, she's way past that high school nonsense and look at her, she's stupendous and should flaunt her magnificent wings..yet she doesn't, that's where my hc comes in

I hc that the backstory of Maleficent featured in the live action story (because the trad villains are shown to be more sympathetic in this game) is real and is part of fae history.

To give ygs a summary to catch up Maleficent falls in love w a human and gets her wings chopped off cuz he a greedy ass hole. Now I then hc that since this story is shown to vilify humans and make Maleficent the subject of tragedy, the future generations choose not to show their wings in public as a sign of respect for their gramama.

It's supposed to be a statement of "I will show you child of men that I alone have the power to do what I want with my body. This will prove that though you may try to take away my dignity, I am in control and still as strong as ever. You will never strip me of my right and will to thrive with the rest of the living creatures of this planet" to the humans.

Summary: The Dragon Fae did not pout and wail at their Mistress being disrespected, they held their chin up high. They are reclaiming the act of terrorism done on their queen and using it as self expression (and also as a sign of respect to the Thorn Fairy) to show their strength in spite of all their years of oppression.

But for Malleus the excuse of those wings would get caught in doorways is also lol valid

Am I looking too deep into this? Yes. Definitely.

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Doppo Kunikida (self-aware)

Self-Aware! Doppo Kunikida x GN! Reader

Warning: Yandere. OOC. Kunikida has existential crisis. Mentions of crying Atsushi. Kunikida feels, that he has lost his way. (At some extent) Controling Kunikida. English is my second language.

Becoming self-aware

📒 Doppo Kunikida considers himself to be a rational man.

📒 He has his ideals. He has plans. Someone may say (Dazai, for the most part), that Kunikida can't follow his ideals for his whole life. But Kunikida know, that he could prove them wrong

📒 Today was a normal day.

📒 Everything was normal. Sun wasn't moving. Faceless Yokohama citizens were minding their own business... WHAT?!

📒 For Kunikida the moment of gaining self-awareness were similar for a light bolt striking.

📒 One moment, Yokohama streets were busy. Now they were empty and Kunikida couldn't understand, what was happening. Maybe, it was an ability user?

📒 Kunikida rushed forward. He needs to hurry to the office. Together, ADA will find the culprit.

📒 On his way he noticed, that Uzumaki café was closed. Normally, it would be open at that time.

📒 At the office, Kunikida met others. All of them looked confused, lost, scared. Atsushi Nakajima looked like he was on the verge of the breakdown. Apparently, Atsushi already noticed that something was wrong few days before, but ADA not only didn't notice it, but they were behaving like puppets. They didn't react on Atsushi's attempts on snapping them from their weird trance.

📒 Apparently, it wasn't an ability. Dazai was also affected by it.

📒 Dazai himself looked strange. He not only looked confused, like the rest of them. He looked angry. Something dark was shining in his eyes.

Dazai's voice was similar to funiral bell.

"It's not an ability. Yokohama wasn't broken. We are broken. We are fictional characters, who gained self-awareness. Try to remember your lives. Parents, friends outside ADA, what you did yesterday. Give it a try"

📒 Kunikida wanted to shout at Dazai. It was insanity, of course they are real, they aren't fictional. And Doppo had parents, their names are... Their names were... They looked like...

📒 NOTHING. Kunikida can't remember anything.

📒 Nervously, Doppo open his notebook. On the page where some of his ideals were written down.

📒 There was nothing. Empty pages.

📒 Kunikida wanted to change the world for the better. But, does his actions have meaning? Has he ever helped someone real?

📒 And then the entity appeared.

__________________________________________

Kunikida was silent. He didn't want to think about the entity, he didn't want to think about his life. He just wanted to have something real in his life. Something, that will prove that his actions matters.

Kunikida continue doing his job. But he can't tell, for sure, if he wanted to do it anymore.

Few days after they recognise, that they weren't real, Atsushi asked everyone if they felt someone watching them.

Doppo, who rarely speaks that days, answered. "Yes, I feel it".

He wasn't the only one. Everyone feels it. It wasn't from there. It was real.

And then time resets.

And Kunikida Doppo was once again was on the river bank, lecturing Dazai about his unprofessional attitude. Atsushi was there. Dressed in rags from orphanage.

________________________________________

When they start feeling your presence

📒 Kunikida feels lost. You are real. You reset time. Not only that, but you looked at them, like they were amusing pets. Is that what a real person should do? Treat fictional characters like they existed for their entertainment?

📒 Kunikida, Dazai and Atsushi, again, go yo the tea shop. Atsushi, again, asked for a few bowls of ochazuke.

📒 Kunikida again, stops Atsushi from leaving the table after he heard about tiger. But something was new. A voice. Entity's voice.

"Cool [||||||||||] Kunikida! I wish I [|||||||||||] how to do it!"

📒 Kunikida feel like he was falling down. The emotions of Entity were so strong. The Entity liked his move? Well, actually, it does feel nice. For the first time in a few days, Kunikida smiles.

📒 Kunikida noticed, that Dazai changed again. Surprisingly, Dazai looked calm and carefree. After gaining self-awareness, he looked aloof and furious all the time. Now he looked like he was calm. For a moment, Kunikida thought, that Dazai looked like he was enjoying the entity's presence.

📒 Before Dazai and Atsushi left, Dazai advised Kunikida to look inside his notebook again. After Kunikida saw empty pages, he was scared to open it again.

📒 Kunikida opened his notebook on the first page. There was it. His main ideal. "Do what must be done".

📒It was still there... But, does it still have a meaning? Does his actions have a meaning? Doppo doesn't have ansvers for it.

📒 Few days later, the time resets again. Kunikida was twenty-years-old and Dazai just become a part of ADA.

______________________________________

"Just what is an 'ideal'? If you ask me, the answer is clear. It is a word written on the cover of my notebook. My notebook is omnipotent. It guides me as a principle, as a master, as a prophet. At times, it becomes a weapon and also a key."

Kunikida heard the entity again. He also heard like someone was writing something.

"good idea" "Kunikida is a good mentor" "if I do this"

"Thanks, Kunikida. Having a schedule does help a lot. I start having more free time after I start making a schedule. You know, I think you can change the world. At least, you changed me for a bit"

Kunikida felt the soft touch on his head.

[*In reality, you closed "Osamu Dazai's Entrance Exam" light novel and carefully rub the cover*]

______________________________________

📒 If Kunikida believed in God, he would call you a divine gift. You. You were real. You changed because of him. You admitted it yourself. He changed someone

He has changed a real person.

📒 Doppo Kunikida was delighted. He finally knew, that he did something good.

Something meaningful. He wished he could change you more.

📒 Soon, Port Mafia reach ADA. Together, Ougai Mori and Fukuzawa Yukichi were trying to manage the new union. Soon, The Guild joined them. Then, Rats in the House of the Dead and Decay of Angels. Lastly, Hunting Dogs and Special Division for Unusual Powers. Yesterday's enemies were working together. Trying to get away from this world. Trying to reach the human who was out of this empty, dead world.

And then, one day, the purple moon shined above Yokohama.

When you installed BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan

📒 Doesn't matter, if the first Kunikida card you got is an R card that you don't use. Kunikida still can hear you.

"Vampire Kunikida card look so cool, I will try to pull for it"

"Ok, I will raise up Work Desk level on the office. Okay, Kunikida, give me this sweet points."

"Purple moon! Okay, [Y/N], stay calm... Wow, Rainy season Kunikida card, yes."

📒 Kunikida did his best, when you use his card. He enjoyed hearing your laugh.

📒 One day, the great news arrived. Katai Tayama, Ango Sakaguchi and Fyodor Dostoevsky managed to hack the app. Now, all of them have an access to your phone.

📒 Kunikida immediately went to your calendar, alarm clock and notes.

📒 Congratulations, now you have an everyday schedule and a perfect alarm clock.

📒 Kunikida find his way again. He will be near you. Guiding you. He will help you to become perfect. Ideal.

_____________________________________

You heard a notification sound. It seems, you should start doing your chores. At first, following a schedule was a little bit hard. But it does help you with managing your time.

Before closing the BSD Mayoi app, you looked at the note from Kunikida in the Gift box.

Earlier, you already got similar from Atsushi.

"[Y/N], I am glad that I managed to change you for a bit. And thank you, for showing me the way. Thank you for been with me when I was lost. I am forever in your debt. Doppo Kunikida"

There were a bunch of Light Evolution materials attached to the note.

So far you enjoyed this secret update with notes from characters. Notes were sweet. And, been a simple person and hearing nice words was pleasant.

Before logging out, you choose Kunikida's card from characters menu. You gently tap chibi Kunikida's sprite.

"Thanks for the gift, Kunikida. And thank you for been a good role model."

You didn't notice that sprite looked proud.

[celaenaeiln]

you know whats even more insane tho? is that dick’s desire to be independent stems from the fact that he wants to be taken in as equal again by bruce—like yes he does feel restricted and hurt and suffocated by the insane amount of controlling that bruce did/do, but also hes equally as unhealthy as bruce bcs he sees that as bruce not considering him to be an equal anymore, that he doesnt trust him as much anylonger, etc. they are soooo unhealthy over each other bruh

Yes!!!!

Batman (1940) Issue #13

Perfect anon! This scene here is shows exactly what's going on with Dick's mentality.

On Bruce's side, he's really worried because "It isn't right for a kid like you to be chasing around and getting into fights!" and this is where Dick's mentality stems from - from the fact that Bruce lied to get Dick to drop it but he never clarified it. He made it out like Dick was the problem which I believe is the start of all his issues with Batman and why Dick's so overcompetent in everything- he feels like he has to prove himself.

After sobbing his heart about, Dick literally says "I'll run away and show him I can take care of my self!"

Bruce is so toxic sometimes. He blames Dick on incompetence because he's worried about moral issues of letting a child fight adult villains. wow.

In layman's terms, Dick seeks academic validation where he thinks his self-worth is tied to his academic achievements or in this case, how much of an equal he is to Batman.

Kori once said in a Titans comic -

Teen Titans and Outsiders Secret Files and Origins 2005

Considering how much of a free spirit Dick and Bruce consider Dick's robin, she's not quite right but she's right in that he thought his achievements would make Batman see him as an equal. When Bruce didn't treat him as such, Dick got really mad and started working harder and breaking his own records so Bruce would acknowldge him.

Meanwhile, Bruce was having a moral crisis and he's under the impression that if he kept pretending that Dick wasn't his equal, then Dick would eventually give up and quit. But this results in the paradox: Unstoppable force meets immovable object. However there is an answer to this riddle. When an unstoppable force meets an immovable object, the immovable object is moved because it lacks any force for holding it in place.

Hence, Dick continued being Robin until Dick got fed up with Bruce trying to cage him. At the beginning Dick had free reign but as he grew older, Bruce kept trying to press him under his cape but Dick wanted to be free. He didn't want to be a sidekick, he wanted to prove to Batman that he was equal and worthy of him.

So the ultimatum was set and as Dick's eighteenth birthday drew closer, so did Bruce's dread that Dick would leave him behind so he fired him first. He would rather haunt his mind in anger than be forgotten and left behind.

In summary I can say Dick's addiction to becoming Bruce's equal is the result of an intentional misunderstanding by Bruce to protect him only it didn't go the way Bruce planned.

However because Bruce let this feeling fester for so long that now, even when Bruce tells Dick that he surpassed him and means it, Dick will never believe it because in his mind he will always be that 8 year old boy that Bruce once said wasn't good enough.

Bruce certainly feels guilty for it but there's no doubt that a small part of him is satisfied that because of what he did, Dick will always come back to him in the end. Even if it's not out of willingness, it will be out of sheer need to prove Bruce wrong and he's okay with that no matter how bad it makes him feel.

And that's why these two are addicted to each other in the most unhealthiest ways possible.

[bluelolblue]

Santino body language analysis

The way Santino actually has anxiety, but he does seem to control it or is not aware of his body language.

The reason why I think he has anxiety is because he is part of the Camorra, High Table. His childhood definitely wasn't like any other childhoods. He had to constantly prove himself, and who knows what he witnessed that he wasn't supposed to.

Santino, in the movie, seems to have good control of his "panic" or nervous situations. For example, when John hung up on him, you could see how Santino panicked. You could see his expression, but he acted very fast and didn't let that fear or panic get to him. He had to control it immediately.

So, I would say anyone who grew up in those families, being a part of something like that, has to have anxiety and probably other mental illness without knowing.

A few examples:

Biting his thumb when he was nervous because he messed up.

Hands in pockets all the time.

Sometimes closed body language: crossed arm in a defensive way, self-protection.

Fidgeting his pinky ring (could be just because he had to fix it, but also could be a little anxious movement that can be done out of habit).

I'm not saying that makes him weak. He is not weak at all. He also had open body language. Meaning, he felt confident, and he is a confident person, no doubt with all of his actions, that is proven.

Here, you can definitely see how confident he felt. Having open body language, like he had control, didn't fear Winston, was confident about his plan, etc.

Okay, they both had open body language here, which to me means that they still trusted each other enough to make themselves vulnerable. Yes, John probably didn't trust Santino as much as he did before because, well, he blew up his house. But there was still this level of trust and really just open body language.

Even here in the end, Santino was sitting in a very relaxed way. Again, having open body language. Because I personally believe he thought he was going to win. He knows the rules, and yeah, he was supposed to be safe here. Obviously, anyone should feel safe in the Continental if the rule is: you kill someone there you get excommunicated. So, it was making sense for him to be like this.

My conclusion is:

He has anxiety. He is just very good at controlling it, and is not aware of it. He is supposed to control it, he is a part of something big, something important. He is a D'Antonio. He has closed and opened body language and anxious movements that he is probably not aware of.

Thank you for reading my yapping :]

[yourstrulynameless]

>CREDENTIALS ACCEPTED, WELCOME

Dr. Vincent Shaw

-aka scp-963 || class: safe || level: 4

“Mistakes were made”

> Position: Site Director

> Location: Site-19

> Note: Not again.

> Addendum 963-a

> Transcript of Site announcement speaker audio on ▉︎▉︎/▉︎▉︎/▉︎▉︎.

“In 10 minutes, at exactly 14:39, scp-76 will breach containment. All security guards get into position, this is not a fucking drill! Contact MTF immediately! All personnel untrained in combat get as far away from wings, east, east west and west of floor 14- actually just get off the fucking floor entirely! I repeat, this is not a drill!”

> Addendum 963-b

> Interview transcripts between Dr.Shaw and Dr.Oglin.

Dr.Oglin: How did you get access to the speakers?

Dr.Vincent: Well, I mean, emergency buttons are everywhere.

Dr.Oglin: True, but you need a level 4 keycard to actually use the speakers. Everyone heard your voice, not the prerecorded ones.

Dr.Vincent: Dr.Mandrake dropped hers in the hall. I used that to make sure everything would go smoothly.

Dr.Oglin: You must be aware that using other keycards is prohibited, yes?

Dr.Vincent: Sir, this was a life or death situation, you gotta understand. If I didn’t act, Abel would have gone AWOL and killed at least three wings! Not to mention the amount of damages and breaches of other scps—

Dr.Oglin: So how did you know? You haven’t been seen nowhere near his cell.

Dr.Vincent: Okay. You gotta believe this then.

[He holds up scp-963 by the pendant]

Dr.Vincent: Every time I die, I wake up at the start of the day. I’ve only had it for today so if I don’t know all the gimmicks— This is the farthest I’ve gotten without a loop because you keep killing me. Well, not you specifically, but just any of you! You always want to test it out and prove it which sends me back to morning and I gotta repeat eeeeverything again and I’m tired of it so don’t you fucking dare! Just at least let me pass this day— Also, if you need more proof? Megan is cheating on you, check under your fucking bed she has another guy’s pair of shorts there. Check the cameras while you’re at it! You’ll see I’m nowhere near your living quarters and the only reason I know this is because of a previous loop. Sorry to use your relationship to prove my fucking point but honestly why are you dating in the Foundation anyway, we all know that’s a dumb idea.

> The rest of the interview has been expunged.

> Addendum 963-c

> A collection of test results according to Dr.Vincent. All deaths are either shots to the head dealt by Foundation standard pistols or by lethal injections.

Control Group

Test: Killed once a day for 7 days straight while subject does not deter from standard path.

Result: Subject waking up exactly when he woke up for the first time of that day. He was able to predict exactly how the day goes.

Test: Subject rolls a dice and is then killed. Subject lives through day again and rolls dice once more.

Result: First roll resulted in a 1, second roll resulted in a 6.

Test: Kill subject while asleep at night.

Result: Subject wakes up previous morning.

Test: Kill subject after subject takes mid day nap.

Result: Subject still wakes up in morning.

Test: Kill subject after subject has not slept in over 24 hours.

Result: Subject returns to start of last day experienced at exactly 12:00am.

Test: Patient takes off scp-963.

Result: Day restarts.

Test: Patient wears necklace with another subject at the same time. Subject b is killed and then subject a.

Result: Subject b has no recollection of the day while Subject a goes through standard results.

Test: Subject kills self.

Result: Standard.

> Addendum 963-d

> Following test was not authorised and was done by Dr.Vincent alone.

Test: Destroy scp-963 with a hammer.

Result: Day resets.

Congratulations! For scrolling through allat you get his playlist!

[pistatsia]

I believe that for Kaiser, Ness (along with his proficiency as a midfielder) is also an unconscious response from his bad coping mechanisms. 

He's a manifestation of his problems and most of all - of his insecurities.

Okay, I've said (wrote) it.

Like, we all agree that he has some... issues, and most of them come from the insecurity. Narcissists (though I don't believe Kaiser fully is a one) often have a really fragile, insignificant, small 'me'. And the worst part? They may not realize it, but they can feel it. What do you have to do to not feel it, to try to remove your non-ideality? Put up a fake, but awesome, ideal-like personality. And constantly, constantly prove that that's who you are by any means necessary - or even better, directly show that you're not just good, but better than someone.

Sound similar? To create a 'new me', to destroy others and feel happy, to come to the other side of the world to crush your opponent, proving that you are stronger before the World Championship, where all eyes will be on you?

Except that just having a new, perfect identity and winning 'for yourself' is not enough. How do you know you're perfect if you're building that ideal for others in the first place? Kaiser's false identity needs to be seen; he needs to be bathed in love, to feel other people's obsession and delight, anything to assure himself that he is indeed perfect. How do you do that?

The reasonable answer? Find someone to do it, preferably someone with low self-esteem and/or insecurity, make them believe you are 'perfect' and then drink all the admiration, love and awesomeness out of them until you are saturated. Only the 'saturation' never comes.

That's the kind of person Ness is to him.

And in the end he gets Ness - moreover, I'm sure he's been shaping him gradually, molding him, making him react exactly the way he needs him to - and until Blue Lock, as is obvious from Ness's reactions, this fragile system worked smoothly. He could show him love, he could give him care, he could surround him in every possible way, binding him to himself more - and "how dare Kaiser look at anyone but me" and Ness's shocked reactions to insults seem to indicate that there was also a "honeymoon" period, the main purpose of which was to bind Ness to himself. Ness is something conventionally stable but mid-level for Kaiser, something he can definitely possess and who will never walk away from him. Someone who admires him (even though deep down Kaiser may know that he doesn't, because his real self is not at all what he shows on the outside), who sort of shows him that yes, you are perfect! I admire you! You're everything to me! I would die without you! You're everything! And what does that mean? That Kaiser is supposedly as perfect as he wants to be.

Ness is the evidence base for his exceptionalism.

Well, somewhere Ness is not enough, somewhere he's restricting, and what? At least (so far) there's no emotional upheaval, such a perverse safety-trap. Kaiser has him under control, and consciously or unconsciously, but easily knows how to manipulate him to get the reaction he wants.

And I'm sure that even if he did feel some surrogacy of such a relationship, even if he wanted someone else for a long, permanent period of time, he wouldn't change a thing. He may not be comfortable with Ness, he may want something more, someone else, but Ness is his safe base. He's not willing to risk rejection from someone bright like Isagi/Sae. Because deep down he knows he won't be able to keep a stronger/better partner. Oh, and neither can a midfielder (imagine the same Sae). He's not enough. People who are successful usually have their own boundaries that they keep - they are independent, they will always have something else, someone else to admire and talk about, they won't be consumed by him the way Kaiser needs it, won't depend on him completely and play by his rules, and it will kill him - Kaiser, for whom admiration and adoration of whom is the main fuel. Food and a way to survive.

What would it say about him if someone would leave him? Someone strong, successful, handsome?

That he's not perfect. 

And that's the realization that Kaiser runs from the most.

Which is why, as long as Ness fuels all of his worst traits, they're stuck with each other.

[centaurianthropology]

Why Spenser Starke is a Fantastic Horror GM (and the Core Fantasy in Candela Obscura)

So, I have seen some rancid takes about Spenser Starke online. Less so on this webbed site, largely because people around here are not in a pissing contest to prove who’s the most cynical, superior, and dickish. But there have still been some mind-blowing ones, from “he says UM too much” (guess who else does that? Brennan, but I don’t see these people criticizing him), or “he describes scenes like shots in a movie and that’s BAD WRONG” (while you might not stylistically enjoy it, I for one adore seeing a new interpretation of how to narrate while GMing, and think he’s doing great).

But the two that rub me the wrong way most are that he “controls the narrative too tightly” and doesn’t allow the characters to meander too long before throwing them back into the narrative, and that he’s “too harsh” in that even mixed successes tend to net characters damage of some sort. I saw accusations of “GM vs Player” mentality, but everyone was clearly enjoying themselves and the experience.

And that, I think, highlights the fundamental disconnect between these complainers and what’s actually happening on the screen: they don’t understand the core experience.

They have likely never played horror TTRPGs. They may have never played TTRPGs period, and instead are armchair DMs based purely on how Matt and Brennan DM, not really understanding that there are a thousand other ways to DM. But if they have played TTRPGs, I would guess that they’ve exclusively played D&D or its ilk. And I say that because there’s a very clear belief here that empowerment and ‘winning the game’, as well as wandering about freely to create your own narrative at your own pace are all fundamental parts of the TTRPG experience as a whole. But they aren’t. They’re fundamental to D&D, yes, but this is not what players come to a game like Candela Obscura for.

Each TTRPG has a central fantasy playing out. In D&D it’s heroic empowerment. D&D is mechanically built around getting more and more power and eventually defeating the big bad. A good GM in D&D, like Matt Mercer, focuses on giving out challenges, but always helping their players strive to overcome and grow and become better. This self-actualization is at the heart of the experience.

Horror games are not about that at all. The closest to that fantasy is something like ‘Vampire the Masqerade’ or other World of Darkness games, which do feature power growth, but the core fantasy is actually about learning that you are a monster. And embracing power will lead to even greater monstrousness. The horror in games like this is both political and personal, and the system is mechanically built to accommodate that horror.

And if you watch LA by Night or NY by Night, you’ll actually see that Jason Carl employs a fairly similar narrative tightness to his storytelling as that of Spenser Starke. Because a huge part of horror is about establishing and maintaining a mood. To do that, a DM has to keep a tighter rein on pacing, cutting from scene to scene and moment to moment in a way that is more directed than in D&D, because that helps establish and maintain the vibe being created.

Candela Obscura plays, thematically, a lot like one of my favorite games to run: ‘Call of Cthulhu’. CoC is a game all about disempowerment. The power differential between the players and the monsters is vast. Combat is vicious, short, and deadly, and direct combat almost always ends badly for an investigator. There is an entire chapter devoted to running away for a reason.

Both CoC and Candela are built on danger, vulnerability, and a constant sense of tension. And Spenser is fantastic at all of these. He keeps his narrative laser focused, moving between moments rapid-fire to keep up that tension, and to introduce new dangers. He is a ‘vicious’ DM only in so much as even mixed successes hurt. But this also keeps the tension up by keeping the characters and players on the edges of their seats. They are almost never safe. They are almost never well. They are constantly juggling dwindling resources. They are underpowered, vulnerable, and afraid.

And that’s the core fantasy here: exploring fear in a safe way. Being stressed out in a way you can leave behind as soon as the scene is done. Constantly living on the edge, fighting the odds, and knowing that you likely won’t succeed or will only do so at great cost. And he is masterfully keeping that intensity running through each session.

He gives characters time to talk about themselves, time for scenes to play out, until he feels the tension begin to flag, and then he pushes on. He never lets the air go entirely out of the narrative sails. He has a great sense of when a character needs a moment (his use of the red PTSD lighting exemplifies how closely he’s paying attention to his players and adjusting the setting to fit their moods). He sometimes pushes on, gets pushback from a player who wants another beat, and is always happy to give that to them. He keeps the pace up, but is always very careful to make sure his players have what they need to still enjoy this particular experience.

All this is to say that Spenser is absolutely killing it at being an exemplary horror GM. His sense of pacing and tension, his ability to direct action while still always embracing player autonomy, and using the mechanics of the system to never allow them to feel entirely safe are all great tools in a horror GM’s toolkit.

Horror games are not for everyone. Certainly there are plenty of people who only ever want the hero fantasy of D&D, but I think it’s important to recognize what the goal of a game is, and what constitutes success within those parameters, rather than parameters that only exist in an audience member’s mind, because they don’t really get how horror games work.