#don’t know if you know this but that’s taxidermy…

[haveyouseenthisanimal-irl]

[aquarri]

What kind of disgusting person does taxidermy for a hobby? You're a creep.

*looks around*

[flannelfoxen]

[sodaisgayplastic]

Makes me sad that characters in shows/movies will make some super creative taxidermy and it’s treated as Creepy and Weird and Dangerous

[frudoo]

Slasher 141 again, sorry to bug, I'm chomping at the bit. She meets the others? I humbly ask for more pleaseeee

Can y'all tell I'm horny for slasher Johnny

Warnings: Smut throughout, so MDNI. Fingering, strange men, reader is just getting a taste of what she signed up for. Fem!Reader obvs.

     Simon doesn’t talk much. Maybe it’s because Johnny’s got his hand down your pants and he doesn’t want to interrupt, but even so, he just gives off that kind of vibe. Johnny’s trailing kisses down your neck and you’re whimpering, just trying to get the two of them to make small talk.

“S-Simon, are you… do you also- um… you know. Kill people?” You wince at your poor choice of words, but the kisses from your date don’t let up, so maybe you’re alright.

     Simon’s beady eyes meet yours through the rear-view mirror. Fuck, if he’s not a serial killer, he should be. Those dark brown eyes are deeply unsettling, making you nauseous. He nods in affirmation before turning his eyes back to the road.

"We all are."

Well, shit. Is there such a thing as a murderer-radar? Because if so, yours is in mint condition. 

     Johnny bites down on your neck harshly at the same time his middle finger slips inside of your pussy, and you squeal. Is this what they do? Seduce a vulnerable woman with deadly curiosity such as yourself, just to take her away and dice her up? God, you really should have paid more attention to the warnings in all those true crime documentaries. Now you’re going to end up in one. 

     “Are… are you going to kill me?” You sigh—rule number one: don’t question what the big serial killers are going to do to you while you’re in their truck.

     Johnny grins against your neck, his hot tongue soothing the bite he’d just left on you. He inserts another finger, and, well… maybe getting the best finger-fuck of your life before you die isn’t the worst way to go out. You mewl when he curls them right up against your g-spot and almost miss Simon’s low voice answering your question.

     “If we wanted y’dead, y’already would be,” he shrugs, pulling onto a long dirt road that leads to a large farmhouse, past herds of cattle and fat pigs who look like they’ve never missed a meal. 

     Simon’s answer does nothing to settle your nerves, although the orgasm that Johnny coaxes out of you works well to distract. There’s a black cat waiting by the front door when they guide you inside, and your head starts pounding. If that’s not an omen, you don’t know what is. Damn Johnny and his beautiful, charming self, and damn you for not being bothered enough by his career choice when you should have been. Now you’re not even sure what you’ve gotten yourself into.

     It’s warm inside. Inviting, despite everything, with cozy furniture littered across the den and taxidermied animals decorating the walls. Extravagant chandeliers hang from the ceiling, lighting up the area with a dim yellow aura that helps remind you to breathe. The walls are painted a dark green and the fireplace is going, and on the largest couch sits two more men—one with blue eyes nearly as piercing as Johnny’s, and another with the prettiest lips you’ve ever seen.

     Now that you can see him better, you realize that even Simon is ridiculously handsome, with short blonde hair and a scar across his lip that must have been the result of repairing a nasty split. More white marks are littered across his face, but the honey of his brown eyes don’t seem nearly as cold under this warm light. It almost makes you forget what they do for a living.

     “I’m guessin’ this is her, since she’s not hog-tied,” the one with blue eyes speaks gruffly, standing from his seated position and slowly stalking closer.

     He’s taller than Johnny, but not quite at Simon’s height, and his hand is rough against your skin as he cups your cheek in his palm. His thumb runs along your bottom lip, eyes taking in every inch of your person. The man hums thoughtfully before removing his hands from you, looking between the men who stand by your side.

     “Pretty thing, ain’t she? Nice and soft, too,” he concludes, calling the other man over to check you out as well.

     Your breath hitches in your throat as the new man smiles down at you, those luscious lips spread across a perfectly straight set of white teeth. He doesn’t touch you, just gives you a once-over before nodding.

     “She’s perfect,” he confirms to the previous man before looking to you again. “M’Kyle. Tha’s John, and m’sure y’know those two already.”

     You nod, chewing on your bottom lip. You still have no idea what the hell is going on, or what they mean by perfect. Perfect for what, exactly? More taxidermy? Pig food?

     “Glad ye approve, Cap’n, Gaz,” Johnny beams, wrapping his arm around your waist. “Knew ye’d love her.”

     Your eyes widen slightly when Simon leans down to press a lingering kiss to your lips, followed by Kyle, then John. You’re frozen in place, but Johnny just chuckles and scoops you up into his arms, strong legs striding down the hallway into one of the bedrooms.

     “Dinnae be afraid, hen. They like ye. Ah told ye, ye’ll ge’ along jus’ fine,” he presses his lips against your temple, then lays you on his bed. 

     “We’ll ge’ yer room set up in the mornin’, but ah need tae taste tha’ sweet cunt reit fookin’ now. Dinnae be quiet, lass, let ‘em hear yer bonnie moans."

[tojisun]

been thinkin about the polar opposite of bimbo reader for price so i raise yall: ‘weird’ fiancee gf x price <33

you’re into vulture culture and are probably hoping to actually get into taxidermy too. you’re also into crowcore.

you have a cat, but john never knows which one it is because every time he comes back, it’s a different one (it started with a birman and the recent one is a british longhair. for some reason, all these cats answer to the same name – cecil).

john had, one time, walked into your office only to see a horrifying long furby snaking around your computer setup.

you describe colours in hex codes. john admits it’s actually so useful, especially for missions, so he picked up the same habit. ghost and soap absolutely hate him now, but kyle rides his wavelength so he’s unofficially been dubbed as price-translator.

you have different aesthetics, and john adores all. he first met you when you were in your goth era. currently you’re in your cyberpunk era.

…you’re in this RP discord and it’s all about lovecraft monsters. you’re abhoth.

and john? john indulges you. he would be cthulhu in your guys’ chat box if you need to use him as a soundboard to see if your silly little writing is making sense. he gifted you your most extensive toolkit for your interest in bone collecting. he buys you limited editions of furbies — you don’t know where he even gets them but you’re not complaining, of course!!

all he asks is that you marry him. pretty, please?

[letter-from-afar]

☆ A Cat-astrophe !

content: hc format featuring all 9 villains. 1k~ wc. synopsis: the tables have turned. what happens when you turn into a cat? it might not be the most purr-fect situation, but your lover is here to help notes: ...i should probably stop with the puns now. interactions are appreciated always ♡

𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐞:

• It doesn’t take him that long to realise the feline following him everywhere is you

• Most of the time, he’s going to pick you up by the scruff of your neck

• He buys you a dog collar with his initials carved on it

• An alternative option would be “Princess”

• Surprisingly, he lets you climb him to stay on his shoulders

• But he says he’s not going to take any responsibility if you fall

• He subconsciously ends up stroking your fur while he’s reading

• He’d rather not take you with him on any missions in case you get hurt. After all, not everyone is so kind to animals

• But if you insist, he may use you as bait since you happen to be so adorable

• What? He’s not sayin’ that he finds ya cute!

𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬:

• You’re absolutely safe with him

• Unfortunately, he assumes that you’re a stray at first

• Would probably hand-feed you treats

• And bathes you too

• Makes mini flower crowns for you!!

• Loves to hug you, especially to sleep. Your purrs make him feel at ease

• There’s a tiny part of him that wishes for you to not turn back

• Of course, he’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy, whether as a cat or a human

• He’s careful not to touch your head, as there’s a chance his curse still works on you

• Despite that, he really wants to pet your ears

𝐄𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭:

• Keeps the cat you as a gift for the real you

• No matter your form, he’ll always find you beautiful

• But here’s to hoping that you don’t end up as one of his taxidermy victims

• May or may not end up locking you up in his room at one point

• Takes you with him everywhere he goes

• He understands the tone of your voice and the emotions you’re trying to convey more than you think

• No. 2 when it comes to spoiling you

• And it’s because he has no concept of what wealth management is

• Someone cough cough Alfons had to step in to remind him

• He’s not particularly fond of others petting you (except Alfons)

𝐀𝐥𝐟𝐨𝐧𝐬:

• I genuinely feel bad for you if he’s the one taking care of you

• Not that he’d be bad at it, but he’s going to mess with you all day, regardless if he knew the feline was you or not

• He is a cat person though, if that makes you feel any better

• Loves to call you like this: adjective + kitty

• Gets you a collar with a small ornamental mirror attached

• Finds it cute when you snarl at him and isn’t afraid of being bitten — he welcomes it even

• Probably has stepped on your tail once or twice by accident

• And offered to show you a sweet dream in compensation

• You won’t ever know this but, when you’re asleep, he’ll stroke your fur as he looks at you with a gentle but melancholic face

• It’s during these moments that his thoughts drift off and his true self is revealed

𝐑𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫:

• He’s likely the reason why you turned

• But worry not, he’ll be taking full responsibility for it

• Naturally, he’s not going to let the opportunity to experiment on you slip

• It’ll be safe for the most part, or so he reassures you

• He did a bit of research on how to take care of a cat, for your sake

• Ensures that you eat properly and on time

• And makes you feel better if you feel any discomfort

• It’s too bad that you wouldn’t be able to surprise him even in your current form

• He can hear the soft swishing of your tail and your small steps across the floor

• A smile always spreads across his face once he realises your arrival

𝐋𝐢𝐚𝐦:

• He takes a liking to you immediately

• But it may take him a bit of time to realise that it’s you

• Practices his lines with you

• Has meowed at you once while you confusedly meowed back at him

• Shows off how cute you are to everyone he knows

• Bought treats for you, but his curiosity overtook him, so he may have eaten some of them

• Boops your nose against his

• Has given you a jump scare at one point by sneaking up on you

• Likes to take naps with you

• Match collars with him!!

𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦:

• He does a pretty quick job of figuring out what happened

• However, he’s not in a hurry to find a way to turn you back

• It’s not everyday that something like this happens, so he wants to cherish it for a while longer

• Spoils you a lot as a way of showing his affection

• Trims your nails himself

• Also attempts to teach you how to play the piano. This can end in two ways:

• 1. You try your best but only so much can be expected from a cat

• 2. You’re flawlessly performing duet plays with him now. Meowzart who??

• It’s odd that you’re struggling to wake him up in the morning, considering how he’s a light sleeper. Doesn’t he know that you’re hungry?

• (He’s pretending to be asleep while you’re swatting at his face with your paws)

𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧:

• He’s going to tease you endlessly, but hey, at least it’s less worse than Alfons

• Pokes each one of your toe beans, squishes your face between his hands

• And aggressively (read: affectionately) pets your “irresistibly fluffy ears,” as he so claims

• Still goes on dates with you. Which also means there’s a lot of eyes staring

• Well, it’s not everyday you see a guy and his cat seemingly engaged in a... conversation? (It’s one-sided, but I’m not telling you whom)

• He’s caught you napping on his coat a few times

• Unlike William, he’s not pretending to be asleep in the morning as you try to wake him up

• As such, you always end up as his temporary pillow, hugged tightly to his chest

• One last thing: Can he tell if you’re meowing a lie or the truth?

𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫:

• No. 1 when it comes to spoiling you

• Prepares a whole NEW room just for you

• Buys you a collar and tons of accessories, preferably in black

• He knew you were a cat all along but acted like he was gradually realising it

• He couldn’t help it, you were just too cute while trying to prove to him that it’s you

• Claimed that it was truly a disaster that this happened to you, but was internally celebrating

• You can rest on his lap while he’s doing paperwork

• If you happen to fall asleep in his office, he’ll drape his coat over you

• He loves it when you act affectionate — so go on, jump at him, climb him, nuzzle against him

• Commit crimes Make trouble together!

[christinebloodwrittings]

Somebody that I used to know.

Request made by @white-00-7

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!reader Summary: Old friends turned into lovers under very distressing situations. Warning: Blood, Adam, violence.

After the Axe-man terrified the streets of New Orleans, there was the butcher of the bayou. A cannibalistic maniac, known to left no “crumbs” of their victims, so to speak. You knew that by being hunting season, he may be on the woods alongside you, what you didn’t counted on was the creep following you, rifle in hand.

A rustle was heard in between the bushes, you aimed at the bush with confidence, thinking it was probably a deer or a duck at least, the creep making haste to do the same, to your head. “Come out, come out” you whispered to yourself, seeing brown hair and antlers, there you shoot.

But the thud was lighter than a deer’s.

Moving the bush you saw a smiling man, “Holy shit!, no, sir, I’m so sorry, don’t die, help please!” you cried out, but as you turned around the lights were off as well. The sound of the trigger on the creep’s rifle was the last thing you heard.

The free fall was the least of it, but speaking of thousands of meters high, one does not think about the fall but rather the impact. However, it wasn't so hard for you, for the poor bastard under you, it was.

"Get off me!" he managed to throw you off his back, “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to land on you” he dusted himself off as he regained his composure, clearing his voice when he noticed you were a woman.

“No, I apologize dear, here, let me help” He offered his clawed hand to yours, only by then both realized they didn’t looked like humans no more, “Interesting” he muttered, pulling gently on your arm.

He was looking at his new self when he heard a sudden laugh, “What’s so funny?” he questioned, then you pointed at yours and his little tail, “They’re so fluffy” he wasn’t so enchanted by the cutesy fact.

He was a deer, a white back at that. You on the other hand were a red one. A stag and a doe, how fitting both lifestyles of pride, more than anything.

“Why are you down here, dear?” you thought about it for a second, pride and rebellion was your first thought, then your taxidermy hobbies, “All I can think off is that poor man I killed as of a few minutes now, I mistook him for a…deer” he took a second to think about it, the click that made him stand up was a riffle trigger, your weapon.

He laughed, "You killed me," he continued his laughter, he took your arm to start walking towards the city, "I must say, my dear, that of all the evils in this world, you are the only thing I didn't think would send me to hell" It still made him laugh, "And it's even funnier that they killed you almost at the same time you killed me, life is a great irony" he smiled, one of the sweetest smiles he gifted you.

Now, don’t get him wrong, he was mad out of his mind, also slightly scared, not that he would admit that. Though the warmth of your arm linked with his brought him an anchor like feeling.

 After a few years of living together, Alastor disappeared without warning. "I will become stronger, soon the citizens of hell will know of my power” He used to take his place at your side and daydream about greatness and have everyone's respect, more fear than respect though.

“I will be able to protect you" that sentence lived rent free in your head, his voice a mere echo in your memories, after seven years you almost didn’t remembered his face anymore.

Alastor took care of the most bloodthirsty so that you didn't have to, without him there, you had to take measures into your own hands. The Pride Ring came to know you as one of the best snipers, the Overlord Ghost Shot, your elemental power to control the air could make your bullets fly up to lightspeed, also take away the oxygen off your enemies lungs.

You build up a company off the souls you began to own, you provided the fabrics that boosted businesses like Velvette’s or Rosie’s, known for the good quality and resistance. You didn’t worried yourself with planned obsolescence, there’s always a new design and a new trendy style that makes people keep buying.

And giving the amount of violence, clothes get ruin almost every day, Never in all the years you have been in hell have you been short of money, you managed to get a suite apartment in your own district, near the Morningstar district.

Eighty-four years of having Alastor by your side, and he just disappeared like he didn't care. Not a note, telegram, letter, anything in 7 years.

Until one afternoon when you received an invitation to an emergency meeting, it seems that Adam the first man brought forward the extermination half the time, having six months of preparation. Not one year you’ve lost a soul, but you weren’t going to start now.

“Asano, I need you to begin the preparations of the bunker, the winged rats will come down on us sooner than anticipated” you had souls knocking on your door, practically begging to make deals with you, giving that in exchange of their souls you provided safety, free housing, and a quality of life no other overlord did.

Although at the beginning some sinners wanted to abuse your good will, since you are a deer demon they tend to look down on you. They didn't find it funny anymore when they started to suffocate. Word on the street is that the air gets thicker when you’re in the room.

“I have the technical revision of my company Milla, if your plan is to arm yourself to fend off the attack don’t count on me, I have bigger priorities” Carmilla was one of your dearests friends, you made her gears laced with angelic steal fibers, and in return she updated your riffle, also gave you bullets made of angelic steal.

“I’m not saying we should, all we need is brainstorm a plan to lose as few souls as possible” she heard you made a pensative hum as she watched the overlords take their seats on the table, “You don’t wish to hide like we do, though you’ve lost more souls than I have over the years, so, do whatever you think is best, I’ll help if you want to listen for once” you hung up before Carmilla made herself aware of Alastor’s return.

 You didn’t owned a television, so Vox’s lovers spat never reached your way, and on the streets of your district no one really cared of other overlords, knowing they were under your wing.

"Y/n dear, how about you stop by the tower? They opened a new cafe on the corner, I bought cream cake and the tea that you like, it’s been a while since I saw you" said the letter that you received along with a new cell phone, Vox was more like a stone among the demons that courted you, and even though you sent his electronic junk broken back to his office, he didn't stop insisting.

“I’m so glad you came, how are your preparations for the extermination?” you brought the tea cup up to your lips, “It has been rather sudden; however I have managed to mobilize things on time, how about you?" he cut up a piece of cake, just as big as he knew you liked, “Oh we are fine, we aren’t the target anyway” your ears perked up in interest, his grin grew bigger on his face as he noticed.

“The princess is trying to redeem sinners, have you heard?” you nodded, “The Radio Demon is helping, but as useless as he is-” you began laughing, “The Radio Demon? What kind of pompous prick is named like that?” then sipped on the tea, “You know, Alastor” but as soon as he uttered that name, you choked on your tea and stormed out of his office.

And thank goodness, the air was too thick to breathe, Vox was having issues with it until you left.

“Mimzy, we know you’re in there you lousy bitch!” you heard the loan shark yell towards the  ‘Hazbin Hotel’, trying to knock the door down with a pry bar. “Gentleman, you’re in my way” you spoke, seeing a green glow wrapped the building.

“Not to mess with the Radio Demon!” taking another puff of your cigarette you watched the ten stories tall face of a man you used to know. A smile you didn’t recognized, stitched on the sides, holding his smile up. As soon as he finished eating the sharks he stopped on his tracks, merely centimeters away from your body.

“Y/n?” his distorted voice spoke in utter disbelief, “Good day Alastor, it’s been many moons, don’t you think?” He was frozen, the cute little deer girl he left all those years ago was nowhere to be seen. Replaced by a woman, wearing a dark black attire and tired eyes.

"Y/n, long time no see" he had to shift his voice a little, Charlie and the rest were right behind him inside the hotel. His chirp tone making it seem like he didn't disappeared at all, was a direct stab to your heart.

"You look..." you didn't know anymore, "Different" eyeing him from top to bottom with a disgust grimace in your face hurt him beyond his understanding, "Yes well, I told you I would get stronger" his eyes were different, they were empty.

"I see that, have a good day" you turned around in your heels ready to walk away from the place, "Y/n wait, that's it?" He was hurt? Why did he felt the audacity to pretend to be the victim when you were left behind.

"What else you want me to say?" Since he left, you stopped being joyful, the killing and the merciless torture you went through did that, and it was all his fault.

"A warmer welcome would be nice" you took out your rifle then shoot his shoulder with a dull bullet, "Warmer than that?" It didn't bleed but it hurt, so much it made Alastor take a few steps back.

"Alastor!" The princess cried out for him, "What do you think you're doing?!" Her little horns and red eyes made you snicker a little, "Is this what you've been doing all these years? Help this little girl with her hotel?" Alastor stood up, making seem as it didn't hurt at all, "Now, now Charlie, all is fine, no damage done" she tried to worry about him but it was no use, "Who is Alastor to you?" She asked you, distorted voice and hair flaring.

Alastor had his eyes on you specially when you locked on his dials flashing on and off, "Someone I used to know” the pain was real that time, Alastor didn’t even try to hide it, “Y/n please, let me explain” a small laugh escaped your lips, the first smile he saw from you in a while.

“Not a note, letter, smoke signal, nothing in seven years” he tried to make up an excuse, but you didn’t let him speak, “I had to find out from Vox, and as distasteful as he is, at least is a true friend to be in touch at least three times a week” the fact he told you sent a holy bullet up on his pride, “I can’t explain” he went again.

“I-don’t-FUCKING-care” you accentuated every word, “Woah, what is going on here?” the one and the only Lucifer Morningstar came next to his daughter, wondering wat was taking her so long after she ran out.

“They know each other” Charlie waved her hand in between the two. “Lover’s spat?” he inquired mockingly, which you replied with a straightforward and cold “No” making the devil choke on some saliva, “Makes sense though, with a face like that” when Lucifer turned his eyes from Alastor to you he saw the end of your rifle, “First one is a dull, will hurt, the second a holy one, apologize” internally Lucifer applauded your bravery, so with a smile that reached his ears he uttered “I’m sorry Alastor, I didn’t meant to bring out the obvious”.

He made you smile, “Good enough” you put the rifle strap over your shoulder again, “I’m not going to apologize for that, by the way” he didn’t expected you to.

Alastor watched the scene with jealousy, as in less than two seconds of interaction you received Lucifer in a better way than him, you even smiled at him better than him. If he had a reason to be angry that was one. When you turned your head he noticed a burn on your neck, then he went down and saw the scars on your hands, maybe how many more marks you had on your body, experiences  that took away the innocent friend he used to have.

"You're thin, you don't eat enough or what? What happened to your teeth?" you started making questions that made Alastor sweat, “What is this Radio Demon shit? Who do you think you are, huh?" “Somone that will take you down if you keep at it” “Baby, we’re not at the same level, you are the lowest of the overlords”

“She’s right” “I haven’t lost a single soul in all these years, I can steal air from your lungs by just wanting it” he started feeling at loss of breath, his lungs compressed forcefully searching for oxygen, “I offered you my life, my time, my love” you straightened his bow tie, ignoring Charlie’s pleas for you to stop hurting him, “And you just kissed me, and early in the morning after, you took off, seven years without a single signal you were alive”.

“And now I find out that you’ve been here for five months already, not even once you tried to reach me” your hands palmed his chest slowly, your warmth poring through his clothes, “I have my territory delimited by a black line, if you cross it, I won’t be so nice as I am now” you hovered your lips over his, returning the air down his throat.

Lucifer whistled an impressed tune, “Y/n please, I can explain” he heard Alastor breathing rapidly, getting off Charlie’s support to try to get you, his knees stopping on their tracks due to the lack of strength left, “Y/n right? He looks like he wants to make things right, please give him a chance” she plead, it getting to your head very quickly, damn that puppy face.  

“Y/n please, tea and tea” he dared to say, bringing Lucifer’s attention, “What’s that?” he looked your way for an explanation, “It’s where we drink tea and talk” you thought about it for a second then looked at his eyes once more, “Someday, not today, you seem preoccupied” with that you took your leave, feeling your heart heavy and lonesome as you did.

It wasn’t until Extermination day, that from your balcony you saw the horde of angels drop on the hotel, immediately seeing the flow of Alastor’s dark magic being shattered by Adam. Almost out of instinct you ensembled your long distance sniper rifle, setting it on the edge of the rail, waiting for a perfect angle to make the winged rat fall.

 Suddenly Alastor few against the edge of the building, that’s when you shot, the bullet piercing the base of both of Adam’s wings, making him wince and drop against the ceiling in pain.

“Radio ain’t dead until I say so, asshole” you allowed wind to take your message, prepping another bullet in the chamber, aiming directly at his head, “Freaky face has a girlfriend?” he joked to pass a little of the pain, “Y/n?” Alastor whispered to himself, feeling the air shift around him, his body reappearing beside you after a swirl of air teleported him.

“When I get my hands on you-“ you didn’t let Adam finish, shooting the joint of his shoulder, leaving useless his dominant arm. “Y/n” that’s all Alastor could utter, seeing you so beautifully concentrated in your aim, “You think I’ll spoil it for Lucifer if I shoot him dead?” you gave Adam a warning shot on the leg, the next one being a holy one.

“Good riddance either way, mon coeur” he had carefully stood up, supporting his weight with a hand on the railing and another around your waist, “Oh never mind, six wings is beating the shit out of him now” you said a tad disappointed since your game ended, feeling Alastor hiss at his wound.

“Don’t touch it, let’s go, I’ll help” you sat him on your bed, helping him discard his clothes. “I’m sorry for leaving like that” he sounded so sad and weak, he was deeply angry at himself for how blind he was, for taking you for granted and abandoning you without explanations.

“It doesn’t matter anymore” you made haste to patch up the wound as best as you could, but there was so much blood blocking your way, “Y/n, please forgive me” he pleads as you try your best to stitch the would close, “Why do you care so much whether if I forgive you or not?” he cupped your face, a tenderness unknown for you, uncommon of him.

He wasn’t used to be gentle, not desiring to rip your flesh apart was new to him. Instead there was this fire that warmed him up from the tip of his ears to the tip of his hooves, “Because…I love you” that word felt right, as his hands  brought your hips closer to him, his thighs on each side of your knees, “The moment to say that, was seven years ago” you allowed your powers to wrapped his bandages in a perfect way, “I can make it up to you” he could think of a thousand ways to bring you back to him, unsure if in the way you were now, any of those would work, but he had the rest of eternity to find out.

“And who assures me that you won't disappear again? I felt so alone without you” his hands pulled down your hips, seating you on his leg, “Me, I promise you I’m not leaving you again, I can’t” you laughed, hands on his bare shoulders, feeling the thin layer of fur.

“Is it because now I’m powerful?” he didn’t expected you to think different of him, he couldn’t blame you, “No, because I cannot breathe without you, I missed you very much, mon amour” seven years of you in his mind, haunting him, missing the warm spot in his bed, refusing to sleep at all if it wasn’t with you.

“Please my love, my moon, my sun, my everything, let me rectify my wrongs” a chill it enveloped your entire body, “Or let your gun finish what you started” he reminded you of your set of words of earlier, his smile relaxed and lovely, “If you ever dare to abandon me again, I’ll prove that you in fact can die twice” your hissing at the last word made him sigh happily, then he moved to place a kiss on your cheek, inhaling your scent.

“You’re hurt” you whispered when his kiss traveled down to your neck, “I know, but I can bare it” you plead that he took a small time to rest, but he kept tightening his arm on your waist, then the other on the back of your neck.

When he licked the underside of your neck up to your chin, he suddenly winced, proving your point, “How about we try something else?” you saw him grin, he only did that when he had something on his head, “William found the bath a while ago” you saw the slippery friend crawl up the wall, a proud smile on his face.

“You sent him to draw a bath?” he chuckled, “I remembered it was something you fancied, the morning after us…” he remembered, you told him you wanted to wash his hair in the morning, but he left before even giving you an answer, “You know that means I’ll have to touch you?” his ears pinned down on his head so he could nuzzle against your neck, “Ever since that day, I’ve craved no one’s touch, just yours”.

His grin grew when he felt a certain movement against his forearm, “Damn thing” you cursed, “You’re not the only one” he was wagging his life off, he guided your hand to his lower back so you could feel him, “Sappy old man” you kissed his lips, “You’re not that younger than me” he continued the loving gesture, “The water will get cold” you heard the shadow groan thinking his efforts will go to waste.

“Let’s get to it then” you spent the rest of the night in each other’s arms, Alastor nearly passed out when you were massaging his scalp with the lovely scented shampoo, you told him you were never going to stop bragging about it. Then when it was your turn to get pampered, he couldn’t stop himself from kissing your shoulders, the back of your neck, arms, every piece of skin he could.

His hands just as yours were free to roam around, both delighting in the ministrations, to the point only moans of satisfaction were echoing in the bathroom.

“Just so you know, if you have a significant other, he’s dead, you’re mine now” you giggled at his possessive nature, now both dry but still naked on the bed, “Good thing I ended that relationship months ago” you sassed him, earning a small bite on your clavicle, “As soon as I’m better, I’m claiming you” his eyes shifted to have dials, “Sure thing, you have a lot of pain to make up for, ya’ know?” he knew that.

There were parts of your body that were burnt, others covered by patches made of steel, then there were the cuts, the scars, the lashes, everything he acknowledged it was his fault, “This, are they dead?” you shook your head, “Then my broadcast will have new voices” his voice took a low tone and the growl made you feel butterflies, “Thank you” you whispered, lowering just enough so you could have your head under his chin, legs intertwined, arms holding each other as close as possible.

“This is going to sound weird, but I’m glad I killed you” he let out a breathy laugh, “Me too”.

[papil0nglegs]

TF2 BEDROOMS (pt.2)

Demoman

He has a bedroom but he’s never sober enough to even step a foot inside. He’ll pass out in the break room/bar or try to rent a motel but pass out before he can reach it.

Engineer

He sees no use for a bed. He already has a couch he thrifted for 50 bucks, so no need for a bed. He dozes off while watching tv, still in his overalls. If he doesn’t feel like driving home he’ll use his rancho relaxo to lay on and sleep. No blanket, this man’s temperature is always from 50-100°. If he uses a blanket he’s gonna sweat all over that thing.

Heavy

While I was looking on Pintrest the caption said (heavy icon) and someone commented ‘you don’t have to clarify we know he’s an icon’ and that had me pissing

Has the coziest room ever. That pine smell? Yeah that’s not from any mist or candle, that’s all natural baby. Cleans it to a good extent, his sisters will help him every now and then if he’s too busy. Lots of taxidermy’s, his most noticeable one is his bear rug, probably is most prized possession.

Soldier

He sleeps in the woods. The dirt will be his mattress, the leaves will be his toilet paper, the rain will be his shower, he’ll hunt for his food. Whether Mother Nature likes it or not, he’s apart of her now.

[devildom-moss]

LOVE your works !!!!!! i adore how everytime u write, it just kind of turns into a very subtle character study (at least that's what i'm getting) it's vvv nice and the kind of writing im into <33

it's gmt for me so idk if i'm way past the cut off and this might be an odd request btw but a reader refusing lucifer and belphie's offer of a pact after yk... everything lol. it's up to u if the reader eventually accepts but i want it to hurt 🤌🏻

Thank you so much, that's so sweet. I hope you will see your request since I'm taking so long, and I hope you like it. I hope its got enough angst and hurt. I think they have two different types of hurt in it. Lucifer's has more of his pain and Belphie's has more of the reader's pain.

Rejecting their pact offers

(Lucifer x gn!MC) (Belphegor x gn!MC)

(Slightly suggestive for Belphegor) (angst) (hurt; pain; implied physical and emotion harm to reader; slight yandere!Belphegor; Belphie is really creepy in this with some non-consent elements regarding touching/kissing)

Word Count: +2,000

Lucifer

You dreaded spending time alone with Lucifer, so you were displeased to receive a message from him – and even more unhappy that it had arrived, coincidentally, just as you had finished your assignment, when you were looking forward to being able to unwind. Your hopeful plans were crushed by an arrogant invite:

Lucifer: Meet me in my study once you’re free. Alone. Don’t keep me waiting.

Your first instinct was to pretend that you were busy all night and didn’t have time for whatever he wanted, but you knew you wouldn’t enjoy your night if you were constantly on guard and worried about your leisure being interrupted. You could pretend you didn’t read it – after all, you turned your read receipts off specifically because of Lucifer. You could wash up and head straight to bed, sacrificing your free time for the sake of avoiding Lucifer. But avoiding him would only result in his nagging the following morning, and he had already ruined your night, so you might as well safeguard your morning peace by appeasing him. Hopefully whatever he wanted would be quick and painless. With a sigh, you reluctantly dragged yourself in the direction of his study.

You knocked at the door despite it being open ajar.

“MC, please enter,” Lucifer spoke up. He knew it was you; his brothers never knocked. You heard the shuffling of paper and the creaking of his desk chair as you opened the door fully. “You’re slightly earlier than I expected. I’m glad to know that your studies are not giving you any trouble – or at least, I suspect that’s why you’re here so soon.”

“Yeah,” you answered him shortly. He seemed flustered by your presence – which would be entertaining outside of the current situation. You stood in the doorway, watching Lucifer collect his papers and tidy his workspace before walking over. His looming figure inched closer, but you stood your ground. “Did you need something from me, Lucifer?”

“Right. Please take a seat. Can I pour you a glass of Demonus? I’ve acquired a new bottle from Diavolo, and I’ve been looking forward to trying it. I’d like to open it with you.” Lucifer walked over to his bar; pulled a bottle from the very back of the top shelf, hidden behind a taxidermy raven; and grabbed two clean glasses.

“No thank you. I’m fine.”

“Oh.” The sound left him so quietly, you weren’t certain he had intended for you to hear it. He put one of the glasses back, hoping you wouldn’t notice, and poured himself a drink. “Suit yourself.”

“Was that all?” Your eyes wandered the room. You hadn’t been in here for a while, and the last time was not particularly ideal.

“Of course not!” Lucifer looked away indignantly. “I wouldn’t call you to my study just for a drink. I have something important to discuss.”

“Alright.”

Lucifer took a sip of his drink before speaking again; his subtle delays – the slow draining of your time and patience – annoyed you. “You’ve impressed me over the last few months, and you’ve managed to make pacts with each of my brothers. I believe you’ve proven yourself worthy of a pact with me. That is, so long as we make one thing clear: if we form a pact, I own you. I don’t care who else you’re entangled with, you’ll be mine.”

“No. I’m good.” You shook your head to accentuate your response.

“What?” Every muscle in Lucifer’s body tightened, and the glass in his hand formed a superficial crack. His eyes widened. Shock and anger fed off each other as Lucifer sat there speechless.

“I don’t trust you,” you admitted. Somehow, you were thrilled to finally have the opportunity to tell Lucifer how you truly felt.

“After everything we’ve been through together?” Lucifer scoffed. He thought he had proven himself to you. He’d come so far since the last time he had tried to hurt you. He thought you were both past this – that you meant more to each other by now.

“No, Lucifer, after everything you did to me.” You sat up from the chair, rage rising with you. You had done nothing but try to help him and his family, and he had done nothing but hurt you. Even when he had saved you, it was usually for his own selfish reasons. By the time he had developed this strange infatuation with you, you had no trust left to give him. You had no foreseeable interest in furthering a relationship with him – especially not after the pompous way he asked you.

“MC, please, be reasonable. You know very well why I reacted the way I did at the time. You’re a part of my family now,” Lucifer pleaded with you desperately, trying to show you his version of reason. He grabbed your wrist and clung to you tightly, afraid to let you leave. “I won’t hurt you like that again. I promise. I adore you much too much.”

“Lucifer,” you half-sighed, half-winced, “let go. You’re hurting me right now.”

“I’m sorry,” Lucifer apologized. He quickly let go of you and brought his hand back to his chest, wide-eyed and terrified. “Please. . . I’ve never offered this to a human before.”

You could hear the heartbreak in his voice, it trembled on his vocal cords and shook his breath. It was his last resort to persuade you: to show you that he had never been this vulnerable, and he didn’t know how to handle your rejection. You knew he needed you to accept his offer – or at least consider it. Anything except rejection would be survivable.

“Please?” Lucifer begged softly; his cheeks flushed with shame.

“Just because I’m your first and you might have changed, it doesn’t mean I have to accept your offer.”

Belphegor

You could have sworn that you had locked your door before heading to bed last night – and no one could blame you for still feeling a bit cautious after the events that occurred a few weeks ago. Yet, you were disturbed by the creaking of your bedroom door – if it hadn’t been unlocked before, it certainly was now. The soft shuffle of exhausted demon feet creeped towards your bed. You gulped and inched closer to the wall, hoping your eyes would adjust, and you would see Mammon. Maybe he had a nightmare. Or maybe it was Asmo, and he was lonely. Maybe Beel got lost on his way back from the kitchen – and hopefully not on his way towards the kitchen.

“Sleepy,” a soft voice muttered, and your hope plummeted. Fear spiked, prickling up your spine as you felt Belphegor crawl into bed next to you. His hands pat the bed gently, searching for your body, feeling for your warmth. He whined, “MC, hold me.”

“Sleep in your own bed, please.” You tried to sound firm, but your voice trembled at the last word. Maybe it was fear, but maybe your own lips could hardly stomach the thought of begging a demon like Belphegor to let you sleep in peace. After everything he did, why did he think he had the right to break into your room in the middle of the night and crawl into your bed?

“Too far now, and I want to sleep with you.”

Against your will, Belphie wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, resting his head on your shoulder. He nuzzled into you, taking in your scent with a deep, calm inhale. A gentle hum left him.

It was infuriating, the way he relaxed against you while your body tensed with an overflow of negative emotions: anger, annoyance, anxiety. It wasn’t fair that he could drift peacefully to sleep, clinging to you, after everything he did. You wished he would stop – that he would let you go and return to his room, shutting the door on his way out. You’d make sure it was locked this time; you’d double check it and put a curse on it if you had to.

“I was thinking,” Belphegor hummed mindlessly without even opening his eyes. He practically sounded happy. “We should make a pact.”

Your blood boiled, and you stared at his restful form in the dark. “No, Belphegor. I don’t want a pact with you.”

“Why not?” he started, eyes shooting open to stare at you in disbelief for a brief moment before he remembered. He lowered his eyes and attempted to bury his face against your arm. “Don’t answer that.”

“You know why.” There was spite in your words – so bitter that Belphegor couldn’t ignore it even if he wanted to.

Suddenly he felt he had to do something, and before you could understand what was happening, Belphie had tackled you, pinning your hands down at your sides and straddling your lap. The dim glow of his amethyst eyes soaked up all the light in the room when he stared down at you. His grip on your hands wasn’t tight, but a familiar fear clawed at your throat, cutting back your desire to protest.

“Hush. Relax. I’m not a threat anymore. I love you. I want you. For fuck’s sake, if I was going to hurt you again, I would have done it already, so please, please don’t be scared. I need you. Come on, accept a pact with me, please?” The light from his eyes disappeared from your sight as he dipped down. You felt him kiss up your neck lazily, his warm breath tickling your skin. From anyone else, this might have felt loving and affectionate, but from Belphegor, it seemed cruel – as if he was kissing where his hands might have bruised like some panacea that came too late. “Please? Don’t make me keep begging.”

“Get off!” Your voice came back to you in a frightened yelp, still hushed in the dark of night. You struggled and writhed beneath him. The panic was setting in.

“You’re scared?” Belphie questioned, almost surprised by his effect on you. He pulled back to meet your eyes, but you had them shut tight. “Hey, look at me. I told you I loved you. Don’t be scared.”

“Let me go, Belphegor.” You lifted your arms slightly, only for him to force them back down.

“Form a pact with me,” he insisted. He kissed just above your collarbone, allowing his lips to linger on your skin. “If we had a pact, you could control me. I can feel your pulse pounding; I know you’re scared, but if we make a pact, you’ll never have to be afraid of me again.”

“I’ll scream, Belphegor. I swear,” you warned.

“Shh,” Belphegor let go of one of your hands to cover your mouth. He held your gaze with a delusional sweetness. You felt tears prick the corners of your eyes, praying for someone to barge into your room and end this. Belphegor cooed, “I promise I won’t ever hurt you again. I know that will take time to prove, but I need you now. I need that connection to you. I crave it, and I can’t let my brothers be the only ones to stake their claim on you. And until you want me and trust me, a pact will give you reassurance. You’ll never have to worry about being alone with me. If I act out, I’ll be under your spell – in more ways than one. I just want to keep you safe. Can’t you understand that? Make me yours.”

You knew he had a point about control, but it didn’t make you want him. Still, when he removed his hand from your mouth, the fear and anxiety that remained spoke for you. “. . . Fine.”

“Yay.” Belphie giggled and kissed you sleepily, caressing along your cheek and neck. He hummed and stared down at you, trapped beneath him. With your eyes finally more accustomed to the darkness, you noticed a faint blush on his cheeks as he bit his lower lip. “You know, I’m not so tired anymore. Let’s stay up all night and make the pact more official. I’ll even let you mark me.”

[cod-dump]

Ghost: When I die, cremate me and put my ashes-

Price: Not this again-

Ghost: -in a cake. Make it whatever flavor you want and then feed me to my enemies if they managed to outlive me

Soap: I hate everything you just said

Ghost: I’m serious. You want to be taxidermied and I want to be made into a cake!

Soap: I was joking about that! I know you’re serious about this!

Gaz: … I don’t think I’ll be able to eat cake anytime soon

[haveyouseenthisanimal-irl]

[yawnderu]

Nikto x Bimbo!Reader really doesn’t seem to well, work…given how Nikto would kinda be too TOO much of an opposite for Bimbo!Reader.

Introducing Vulture!Reader, the girl that has a huge amount of trash bags in her trunk, and said trunk always smelling of decomp. She collects bones, road kill, passed pets, anything with bones she’ll collect!

I feel like Nikto would literally be a stray cat leaving gifts for her, bringing her dead things. Than generally being confused at first as she gets excited over finding things such as- finding a dead buck (deer with horns idk some people don’t know I’m sorry 😭), bird flys into the window- and she’s excited hoping it’s dead and not to ‘broken’ so she can collect the bones.

Getting to first know each other and she goes, “wanna see my cat?”. Than she showed him a full skeleton on display along with a bunch of shelf’s filled with bones, skulls and even small taxidermy.

-🩻 (I thought Nikito would be interested in vulture culture, how she can show him things can be loved even when they’re long gone. How there can be beauty in death, and that she continues to care and love for things even when their dusty bones <3)

AHHHHy yesyes!!

Nikto would absolutely adore a vulture!reader, despite being put off by the entire thing at first. She's too weird for a Russian man— for any man, honestly, yet he still finds himself interested in her rambles about bones and dead things, even going as far as to bring her bones he finds while out on missions, the glare he shot his mates when they gave him questioning looks from collecting bones for you was enough for them to never ask about it again.

Even if her house made him slightly anxious at first, it slowly becomes a safe haven for him as well, seeing how much love and care you love things that aren't alive anymore, most of them reduced to nothing but bones, yet you still dust them and talk to them sometimes. There's a part of him that hopes one day, if he dies in a mission, you'll be able to show him the same love and respect. Bonus points if she's a mortician.<3

[foldingfittedsheets]

Today on donuts and dogs I saw a dog that is still haunting me.

It looked like a fucked up taxidermy came to life. Except the taxidermy was made with two or three different dogs and the pieces got mixed up.

It looked like someone used a lasso tool and scaled down just its head.

It looked like if a dog somehow fucked a cow?

Like. I don’t have words to adequately convey how supremely fucked up this dog looked. Somehow it’s head was 1/4th smaller than it should have been. It was really Square and it’s shoulders came up in a hump like a cow and the rest of its body was just massive and boxy.

The weirdest part was I genuinely don’t know if anything was wrong with this animal. Like, if the owner told me it had a growth defect or a rare disease I’d be like, yeah, understandable. But if they’d told me their dog was just Like That I’d be like, wow, you sure landed a freak of nature, nice.

[sinvilles]

do you think if clay met danielle instead of blobs at that wedding reception he would still turn out a piece of shit?

I love a thought exercise hehehoohoo

So the first assumption is that they both crash the wedding by accident, and then they crash the reception together (or maybe Danielle knows Fakey so he’s a friend of the groom?).

The major divergence being that instead of Bloberta pushing highballs on Clay, it’s Stopframe trying to get into his baby blue slacks. Danielle and Bloberta are very different people. Bloberta was a fledging alcoholic desperate to leave the nest. We can assume Danielle was in college or looking to pursue athletics.

And Danielle is a star athlete- he’s got medals and awards in his office in the series. A good athlete understands the importance of choosing sobriety and wouldn’t question it when Clay says he doesn’t drink. Whatever, they order sodas or apple juices. This is scenario A.

In scenario B, Clay actually decides to have his first drink on his own. He wants an excuse to lower his guard around Danielle, because he’s attracted to him and if he does anything dirty he figures he could just blame it on the drink.

This goes either of two ways: he makes a complete fool of himself and Danielle has to take him home early, or Danielle stops him when he thinks he’s had enough. Either way, the drinking is incidental and because Clay doesn’t hate his new friend/potential boyfriend, he doesn’t make a habit out of it and doesn’t need to use it to self medicate/cope.

In C, the worst case scenario, the drinking becomes habitual and he just becomes your garden variety gay alcoholic. So he becomes the second worst version of himself- because this time he doesn’t have to fake being heterosexual and doesn’t have a son who might bear the brunt of his drunkenness. This version of Clay stuck to his guns and never got married.

BUT- and here is the but- the drinking wasn’t everything. Clay and Danielle both have narcissistic qualities, as well as complementary qualities.

PROS

Danielle, showing up early in his life, could open his mind up regarding religion- I don’t think Clay would ever abandon Christianity, but he would be a lot less stringent about how he interprets it, and more forgiving to himself.

Plus because Clay doesn’t have a family, he doesn’t go into politics to support them. Hell, he can pursue whatever he wants- and I think being a professional taxidermist would be up his alley. If anything Danielle would encourage his morbid eccentricities because he himself is full of them.

and I think a sex life he genuinely desires and enjoys and wants to be mentally present for would do wonders for his self esteem

CONS

on the other hand, they are young and stupid. Danielle has weird tastes in the bedroom that lose their intrigue the more extreme they get. Clay, who has very little self esteem, lets him degrade him until he’s had enough of it.

Plus Danielle has a streak of limerence in him and this isn’t the Clay he got obsessed with- he is HIGHLY likely to cheat on him, and we know how Clay needs to be the only one in someone’s life.

Once the honeymoon stage wears off, it gets harder for them to stay together. They don’t have the patience to commit, and it’s not like they’re legally married. I think if they got together in early adulthood, they’d break up in early adulthood.

and somehow, Clay is better off for it. He is more confident in his sexuality and gets on with his life on his own. Maybe he cruises on the side. Maybe he gets lonely sometimes. Maybe he wonders what it would be like to be a father. But he’s sure as fuck not trapping himself with a woman, and is smarter about his use of alcohol. I like to think he opens a Taxidermy and Curiosity Shop.

he can still be a self absorbed piece of shit sometimes, but a start in his early adulthood where he doesn’t make any of the choices that made him miserable means he’s more likely to like himself. And if he likes himself, why bother anybody?

here’s my take on this alternate universe

[violetlunette]

You know in original Beanfest, Lilia couldn't find either Silver or Sebek when he defeated Malleus. But with your Yuu hovering around Silver suddenly his "protecc baby son" was activated and he wiped out both of them 10 min into the game 😂 Unfortunately it means they got to spend time together in Beanfest time-out, so Lilia lost this round

(Alternative scenario, Yuu spent the entire Beanfest looking for Silver but he cannot find him anywhere so automatic W for Lilia)

(referencing this series)

Funnily enough, I was just thinking about this. XD

Believe it or not, Yuu would actually do pretty well here as the only rule seems to be “no magic” and despite all appearances, he’s in great shape. (Remember this is a guy that regularly gets tossed around by Lilia.) Once he’s motivated, he can be like Rambo, and spending time with Silver is great motivation. (He and Silver would actually be a decent team if Silver could adapt to his whackiness.)

Yeah, I think Lilia would definitely want to hunt Yuu first just because at this point it’s become instinct, and he's not going to leave Silver along in the woods with that animal. Meanwhile, Yuu would look for Silver, but will he find him? Who knows.

Don’t wanna say too much as I may write this as a story one day.

But for fun--

-- (Based on this)

*Vargas explaining the rules of bean fest*

Vargas: And NO hatchets!

Yuu: *Holding hatchet* I can’t help but feel I’m being singled out here.

Vargas: Yuu, no.

Yuu: Aw, c’mon!

Vargas: No!

Yuu: But what if--

Vargas: No.

Yuu: Fine! *Tosses hatchet, narrowly missing Azul who screams like a Sebastian about to get boiled* Yuu: What about guns?

Vargas: No.

Yuu: Chainsaws? *Revs up saw*

Vargas: No.

Yuu: swords?

Vargas: No.

Yuu: Brass knuckles?

Vargas: No.

Yuu: Acid attacks?

Vargas: You’re going to hell, you know that right? I know as a teacher I shouldn’t say that, but you are not seeing heaven, ever.

Yuu: That’s okay, I figured that out a while ago with the experimentation and unlawful taxidermy.

Yuu: Anyway, what about nuclear weapons?

Vargas: …

Riddle: No.

Vargas: Aw, c’mon.

Riddle: No!

Vargas: I mean, I don’t think he could do it, but I mean if he wants to try I would want to see… No, no you’re right.

Vargas: *To Yuu* No nukes. (Though I’m open to discussion.)

Yuu: Okay, got it. No Phantom Thread shit, but nukes are an option as long as Riddle doesn’t find out.

Everyone else: NO!