#empathy problems

[allornothingalways-blog]

im so tired of "you can't even feel empathy" like i know. i try so hard to be empathetic but i CANT. it's not my fault please stop im trying so hard to understand. i know it makes me hard to love i know. i dont want to hurt you but i do and i swear i dont mean to. god i swear i dont mean to.

it hurts so much when people say that i cant feel empathy. im not broken im just. different. my brain is just wired different.

i know i come off mean and cold sometimes but i dont mean to. i just dont know how to show it right. im doing my best. why cant that be fucking enough.

i dont want to be like this i hate it so much. i hate it too. god i swear i hate it too. im not a monster im just trying to survive.

[creatura-theanarchist]

So like… yall mind if I rant about having Alexithymia?

For those who don’t know, Alexithymia is a disability that makes it so you have a hard time feeling your emotions and understanding other’s’ emotions, and also because of this you have a hard time empathizing with people. Additionally apparently 1 in 5 ppl with autism have Alexithymia (such like myself).

Sometimes I find it hard to just EXIST as someone who has this dude, cuz everyone just… expects you to understand people’s emotions?? Entirely??? Like on sight???? Idk it’s weird man. It’s especially hard when people who know still expect you to be able to, even though I literally can’t??? Like tf am I supposed to do???? This all kinda led to whenever I’m trying to help ppl with issues, I always default to rationalizing because it’s kinda the only thing I can do, but I know sometimes people need more than me telling them “That’s not true!”.

Another problem is people misunderstanding what “a lack of empathy” means. Firstly, I’m not unfeeling. I still care deeply for my friends and loved ones, I just can’t cross that socio-emotional bridge, y’know? Secondly, I can still sympathize with people, which yes, they are two different things. Empathy is being able to feel other people’s feelings. Crying when someone else is sad, becoming enraged when someone’s angry etc., Sympathy is just feeling for another person’s situation.

My whole process with when someone shares bad news or something they’re going through is basically:

Person: My dog died.

Me: Ah, that’s bad, I’m sorry you’re going through that.

What was this post exactly? Idk, I guess sometimes I feel like my existence is a bit anachronistic… I’m someone who cares for people, and yet I can barely connect with anyone… feels lonely, like I’m some monster, yk?

Idk, anyways, thanks for reading these ramblings, kind stranger! I love you <3

[aphel1on]

i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good

[visenyaism]

if pointing out that the age of getting a phone decreasing along with the prevalence of short form video as the dominant form of social media content during the most significant collective educational gap in recent history all of which happened during one of the most significant windows of psychological development in a human lifetime has had a deleterious effect on the attention spans, self-regulation, impulse control, social skills, tech literacy, and actual literacy of zoomers and gen alpha. if pointing out that that is a real and serious problem makes me a boomer and an old crank who has fallen for “kids these days” propaganda someone find me a porch and a rocking chair so i can yell at you to get off my lawn

[demigods-posts]

no but imagine percy who inherited his mom's beachwave brown, shoulder length hair as a kid. and all of his classmates and teachers thinking he's a girl and referring to him as such. and he doesn't correct them because he thinks it means they find him pretty. and he likes feeling pretty like his mom. then gabe makes him cut his hair in the second grade. and finds he likes the short hair and feeling handsome too. but he also really misses feeling pretty sometimes. and it isn't until after gabe mysteriously dissapears that he grows it out again and reconciles switching between both.

[nefretemerson]

i Don't actually want langdon and santos to become besties or whatever next season. i want them both to feel kind of guilty about how everything went down but also sort of resentful and full of spite and i want them to keep on cordially disliking each other. like. not in a way that impedes care but definitely in a way that raises eyebrows. a real icy cordiality. I want them to totally understand each other's position and then be like. 'i get it but fuck you.' and then i want them to have a really awkward moment (maybe santos loses a patient or whatever and langdon's just 'standing man emoji' that sucks dude) that literally changes nothing about their relationship.

[theevilfishywizard]

Despite what people may lead you to believe, Garroth is kind. He's not always nice, but he's kind. It's a core trait of his character. Its what makes him fall out of favor with his father, its why he never saw zenix’s betrayal coming, its why he snuck away in O'Khasis to find his mother. Its fucked him over time and time again but Garroth would not be Garroth if he didnt care so much.

[cringefailvox]

charlie's low empathy/high sympathy desperation to help people without ever really understanding WHY they feel the way they do + vaggie's complex about needing to be useful to the people she loves or else she's worthless = charlie completely mistaking vaggie's self-sacrifical behavior for an expression of love and not the trauma response that it is, because all she's grasping are the literal words out of vaggie's mouth and not the alarming nuances of terrified self-hatred lurking underneath

[mrtequilasunset]

Okay I've had this project open for like. Way too long now and I've hit a brick wall with it but i still would like to share what I have so here's this idea I've been mulling around about the disco skills being court jesters. I only have the psyche skills done but hopefully soon I'll have the inspiration for the others and also fully color these. Enjoy

[utilitycaster]

actually, separating this out from my long-ass post about Ruidusborn As Oppressed Group being an impossibly broken metaphor: I think a huge problem here is that Imogen is, genuinely, a valid if imperfect metaphor for disability on an individual level, but not on a systemic level, and that failure to distinguish the individual from the systemic is a massive problem in a ton of political discourse today. (I also think it underscores a disability-specific issue, that of disability genuinely being a problem for many people with or without the presence of ableism on top of it, which is not true of, say, race, which ceases to be a problem in any capacity in the absence of racism.) In other words: Imogen's experience can be extremely relatable on a personal level both in terms of living with disability/chronic illness, and for a personal experience of discrimination; however, while it stands as a metaphor for experiencing the drawbacks of disability/chronic illness (symptoms, energy levels, decisions one must make, etc) it fails as a metaphor for systems of oppression: it is purely individual.

Imogen's powers are indeed a burden, especially early on! She struggles with them and they cause very specific problems for her on a physical and emotional level. They disrupt her sleep and cause her to make different choices than she would if a potential flare-up (pun genuinely not intended here) were not an ever-present risk. She does not know their source and is frustrated by this. This is completely in line with a metaphor for chronic illness on an individual level, ie, Imogen's experience would be immediately recognizable to someone with a chronic illness, especially someone who had to fight to find a source or get a diagnosis. However, the effects her powers have on other people means that treating her with caution or distancing themselves from a mindreader is not unjustified; which makes it an extremely bad metaphor for discrimination, and in turn for any form of oppression for something that is not a problem in the absence of discrimination, such as sexuality (and I've talked about this extensively before). Again: her experience of isolation may still be relatable to someone who has experienced that for race or sexuality in real life; but only as an individual experience. It does not properly scale in-world to a systemic one.

And, for what it's worth, I think this is the fundamental issue with Bells Hells and their interpretations (and many fandom interpretations of a number of events in C3, and, as mentioned, irl political discourse): the inability to accurate distinguish individual experience from systemic issues (and more generally, the actual root cause). It's what ultimately leads to a story in which Bells Hells make their choices (or don't, as the case may be) on the basis of a falsely assumed universality of highly specific niche experiences. This does not mean, again, that their pain is not valid; but they ascribe it to something that is not in fact responsible. They take a single point and extrapolate not just a line, but an entire plane. And, as in reality, this means the root cause ultimately goes unaddressed while people point fingers.

[arttitude130]

disco in my brain

[http-tempted]

“did you just say something’s off by the way I spoke this morning?” I have pattern recognition skills as the kids call it these days, or an empath as you think the Salem witches would say

[shimada-death]

Uh.

[kelin-is-writing]

Some of you… Guys… who lack empathy and overall emotional intelligence, kinda love to run your mouth waaaaaay too much and end up saying things that make 0 sense. This fandom is also waaaaay too comfortable with victim blaming Rei and Touya for everything that has happened to the Todorokis while Endeavor gets away with it, for no reason at all at that.

“OhHh BuT hE fElLs SoRrY fOr EvErYtHiNg He DiD”

I’m going to be completely honest with you all: I don’t give a flying fuck that he’s now swimming in his sorrows. He better be drowning in them actually. Because there’s a consequence to everything we do. ALWAYS. Besides, if he was going to feel ohh so sorry about what he did to his family, then he simply shouldn’t have done none of it to begin with.

He can’t go on fill his child like a balloon the way he did and then expect said balloon to not explode after he had blew way too much air into it. That’s egotistical.

You also can’t buy your wife (who was still a minor at the time), have her pop out kids like she’s some kind of kids machine for your greedy needs and even force two of them on her before you go ahead and start physically and mentally abusing her, then expect for there to not be any repercussions on your family’s relationships.

Blaming a kid who got his whole life and being manipulated and then gaslighted by his own father, who remembered he indeed had an eldest son only when it was too late, and a woman who was sold to a greedy, egotistical, egocentric, narcissistic and selfish man when she was a kid who had one option worse than the other (We all know that the Himuras ain’t any more sane than Endeavor) is so weird guys, please.

Touya was treated like a human weapon by his own father, who as soon as he saw no more use in him and his quirk just casted the kid aside (which was before Natsuo was even conceived btw). So where’s the favoritism in this? Where? Because I can’t see it anywhere, no matter how hard I look for it. And why is that? Because there’s none. So you lot can stop being delusional about this topic, ‘cause it doesn’t stand up not even if you force it. You can’t erase the manipulation (into making him think he could become the #1 Hero, surpass All Might for his father and be the strongest) and then the gaslighting (telling him he can’t do any of that anymore since his quirk won’t permit it, telling Touya he should give up on his dream because it will never happen after Endeavor ingrained all that into his mind) just like that, then call all of this favoritism. Do you all even know what favoritism is? Or you just find out words on the Internet, ignore completely their meaning, and run with them blindly? Because I am bewildered by how some of you guys be coming on here to just say anything… Touya got failed by his parents and his siblings, because he was ignored and neglected by his siblings as much as he was by his parents (Shoto excluded because Endeavor was busy grooming him this time around) but none of you guys even call them out on Touya going through all of that alone, for some reason, while being okay with what Natsuo and Fuyumi told him as soon as they got into the battlefield. Like they ain’t bad siblings too and Endeavor wasn’t the reason they all lost each others as a family, literally do not piss me off I beg. I’m firmly convinced some of you guys pick and choose who you defend in the Todofam, but like… Everything you guys say makes no sense? It just shows me that some of you lack, as I said at the very beginning of the post, empathy and emotional intelligence. Which is sad.

You all can say “We’ve all gone through hard times alone” as much as you want, but that is not normal at all, towards any time of relationship but especially towards family. It’s not healthy and it can hurt a person a lot, making them close in themselves and when it starts to hurt from the inside the moment you stop getting all of the pent up stress inside it’s no good at all. And for the record, Touya (or just anyone) venting or opening himself to Natsuo about what he’s going through it’s not trauma dumping. It’s never trauma dumping if you genuinely care for someone (clarifying this before any of you emotional ignorant peoples come at me about this 🫠). So Natsuo and Fuyumi being in all of this too shouldn’t be used as an excuse for pushing their brother’s concerns and feelings under the rug, families are supposed to go through these type of situations as a family if they want to keep living happily as such, but they remembered this after one of them died and their youngest sibling was being still raised as a fighting machine by their abusive father. So, mind you, but they all (except Shoto) owe Touya some big ass apologies written down on a letter with tears if I gotta be honest.

As for Rei; she became a mother young, went through a lot all alone because mind you Mr. Husband was waaaaay too busy trying to groom their son into a Hero machine that could beat someone he is incapable of beating (Because a nullity will always be a nullity after all, even when becoming a #1 after the former #1 retirement, if they insist on projecting ofc) to help and guide his young and inexperienced wife through a wedding like theirs. How was she supposed to not lose her mind after being sold, neglected, beaten up, verbally abused, forced to pop out kids like a gachapon, seeing her fourteen years old son lose himself into the void because of his father and then he dies too, without never getting love nor affection from his father (the one he looked up to) the way a kid wants, needs and is supposed to get which is something I’m 100% sure led her to depression. You all diminish too much the grief a mother feels when she loses her kids. There’s much a mother, a human, can handle; and for Rei it got to a point where every trace of Endeavor disgusted her so much her whole body rejected his entire existence leading her to a mental breakdown. One that was due to come earlier if we think about it, but she was strong enough for her remaining kids until she couldn’t do it anymore. What she did to Shoto is wrong, I know and I acknowledge, but she’s a traumatized person who sees her abuser everywhere she goes because, unfortunately, it’s the person she was forced to marry. She apologized to Shoto right away, because she was still mature and sane enough to recognize her mistake right when it happened.

But Endeavor’s ego is so big that it took him his eldest son nearly blowing everyone up and becoming a walking torch before he finally apologized to the whole family for his wrong doings of 10 years prior. Which is crazy to me.

So I’m gonna need you all to stop erase Endeavor’s wrongdoings and try to gaslight the whole fandom into blaming Rei and Touya for the mistakes of someone else, because they’re the biggest victims in all of this shit.

That being said, hope y’all get well soon 🫶🏻💜

[winbred]

You'd think people who empathize with Sam wanting a normal life would be the most pleased with decisions Sam has made and be more alert on seeing the cycle of manipulation and abuse John has created that seeps into Dean's treatment of Sam. But no, it's always Sam is a terrible for wanting something best for himself or even struggling to cope with a life that he wasn't made for.

[kittykatninja321]

The purpose of characterizing jaybin as this inherently violent reckless kid is to justify the victim blaming that started basically immediately after Jason’s death (did Batman fuck up by involving child sidekicks? No it’s the child who’s inherently doomed), but I don’t think that gets Bruce off the hook at all. Because then the new story becomes that Bruce saw this apparently emotionally disturbed homeless child and decided to recruit him into Vigilante Violence instead of doing literally anything else? Jason is not a trained from birth assassin child the way Damian is nor does he have any pre existing yearning for the cape vigilante inclinations. He is an incredibly normal kid considering his circumstances, sign him up for after school wrestling and some counseling if it’s that serious bro like what are we doing? You’re telling me that Bruce with all of his rich guy resources is flopping where a semi competent underpaid social worker could’ve succeeded??