#even fitting something into my own schedule is rough

[truthfulpoint]

I just “unknowingly” fucked my gf’s best friend

Edit: story is split into 3 sections

1. Some background and context

2. The story

3. Where things get wild

Also sorry it’s really long. This just happened to me and I didn’t want to miss anything so I just typed as I recalled what happened. Also sorry for any errors, I didn’t proof read anything.

Some background and context:

I work mid shift at my work currently (11pm - 7am) so I have these not so great black out curtains that I don’t really use but I also have a sleep mask that I use a lot as it helps me stay asleep.

I have “jokingly” asked my gf a couple times if she’d be interested in a 3 some with one of her friends a couple times just feeling out how she would respond and she always said no without any hints of a maybe.

I have a couple kinks that my gf is well aware of. I love stockings/pantyhose/tights, whatever you want to call them. Idk why I just think they are sexy and I like the feel/look of them. I also really like being woken up into sexual situations. I’m always super horny right when I wake up and told my gf I would love to wake up to my cock in her mouth which has happened a couple of times but not often due to my gf not being horny throughout the day, only around the evening. Lastly we have restraints tied to each corner of the bed that my gf and I enjoy very much. We both use them on each other and pair it up nicely with my sleep mask.

I live in a one bedroom apartment. We have a queen size bed with a bathroom outside the bedroom and a living room on the other side of the bedroom wall. Our kitchen is attached to the living room. We have a decent sized couch in the living room as well

This happened today as I’m writing this about an hour ago and I don’t know what to make of it or if I should confront my gf about it and ask her (giving away the fact that I know what really happened)

My gf and I went to the same high school but never saw/talked to each other. We didn’t really know the other existed until a year after we graduated through a mutual friend

The story:

So my gf (let’s call her Sarah) had one of her best friends from high school come visit and stay with us for a couple days (let’s call her Kate). I was crushing on Kate hard in high school but never told anyone or made a move. Kate is about 5’4” with an athletic build. She played soccer so she had a nice toned ass and was very fit. She had long black hair and very pretty green eyes. She flew in Thursday morning and is leaving Monday morning. Sarah told me the plan, they were doing something everyday like going to the beach or downtown and I had my own plans so it was going to be a great time for the two of them to catch up.

Me and Sarah got Kate from the airport around 10am Thursday and got to our apartment. Kate said she was tired and didn’t want to go out and do anything so we just hung out for a bit and I had to go to sleep at noon because I had to be at work that night. I make my self some sleepy time tea with melatonin in it like I always do before bed bc it helps me stay asleep. Then I go to bed like normal while they are catching up in the living room. I wake up and start getting ready for work. I go to the bathroom to shower and see that Sarah and Kate are still talking but there are a few drinks on the coffee table next to them and they seem to be whispering and giggling more than just catching up.

I shower and then make sure to help get Sarah get Kate’s bed (the living room couch) all set up to sleep in. I say bye and go to work. I get off work and head home. It was a rough day and I just need to get some sleep. Normally I try to pull through and stay up until noon to stay on a schedule but often times I’ll pass out right when I get home. I open my apartment door and the first thing I see is Kate.

She laying down sideways on the couch with the blanket over her fast asleep. I try to be quiet as it’s 7:30am and I don’t know how late they stayed up. I keep looking at her thinking about how attractive she is. Fantasy thoughts come across my brain. I think what if I just came up and started eating her out or fingering her. I think it but I would never actually do anything like that. I’m very respectfully of my relationship and I would never do anything without consent but the sexual though keep rushing over me.

I brush it off and go to the bedroom, Sarah is sleeping too so I quietly get a change of clothes out the dresser and go to the bathroom to shower. I normally come out the bathroom in just my underwear but knowing we have company I put shorts and a shirt on too. I get out and go to the kitchen to make some sleepy time tea and see that Kate is already awake. The blanket is over her still with one arm under it and the other arm over it holding her phone. I guess I was more hornet than I thought bc I immediately pictured her touching herself under the blanket. I say good morning and ask if my shower woke her up.

She said no she didn’t even hear the shower she just woke up naturally. I start boiling water in the tea kettle and ask if she wants any tea. She says “sure what kind do you have?” As she gets up and starts walking into the kitchen. She’s wearing a baggy oversized t shirt and I’m assuming some short athletic shorts that I can’t really see bc the shirt covers them. I can tell she doesn’t have a bra on immediately and try not to get caught looking. I do t know about bra sizes but I’d guess Sarah has C cup. They are pretty decent size but Kate’s are definitely bigger. Not by a lot but bigger.

Kate walks over and I open the pantry saying “pretty much just sleepy time and normal green tea”. She stands in front of me looking into the pantry and I can smell her hair which smells amazing. She slightly leans over to grab the green tea and I can’t help but look at her ass that’s still so pronounced even though her shirt is draped over it. “I’ll just have the green tea then” as she hands me the green tea box.

I make the tea and we sit together on the couch enjoying it. Just small talk the entire time. Not any hints of any sexual undertones or anything. So I finish my tea and tell her I’m going to bed. I put everything away and go to bed. I stripped to my underwear, put on my sleeping mask and fell asleep.

Where things get wild:

I wake up not knowing what time it was (I’m assuming around 8pm bc that sleepy time tea really works at keeping me asleep). I can immediately tell that my underwear is off and I’m restrained. My legs and arms are spread apart and tied to the bed. I pretend to stay asleep as I know that this means sexy time. I woke up with a full on boner and no way was that going down now that I knew what was coming. I don’t move or make any noise or change my breathing but I can tell it’s still pretty lit up in the room by natural light through a crack in the sleeping mask by my nose. I can only see a sliver of my surroundings and only when looking down towards my nose.

I want to look around and see if my gf Sarah is about to go down on me but I do t want her to think I’m awake so I stay still and wait. That’s when I hear the faintest whispering from the living room. Right away I remember that Kate is here so my head gets thrown into confusion

“Is my gf going to do this with her in the apartment?”

“Is Kate going to leave the apartment for a bit”

“Am I supposed to try to be quiet when I pretend to wake up”

A wave of confusion rushes over me as I’m trying to figure it out.

I can tell that there’s two sets of whispers so I know no one is in the bedroom. I take my chance to look around without my head making too much noise on the pillow. First thing I see is my dick has gone soft after the wave on confusion hit my brain. Second thing I see is that the bedroom door is wide open! This blows my mind. “How could Sarah leave the door open??? What if Kate saw me?” Nothing else in the room seems off so I lay there and wait.

I hear the front door open and then close so I think ok Kate is probably going on a walk for a bit. Ok everything makes sense to me now and I can relax and enjoy what my gf is about to do to me. I hear her walk into the bedroom and sit next to me on my right side. She grabs my still soft cock and starts playing with it and stroking it. My gf Sarah is also 5’4” with an athletic build just not as skinny as Kate. Sarah has very small hands so it feels amazing wrapped around my cock and makes it feel bigger than it actually is. It feels good but I’m debating internally when to stop fake sleeping.

She leans over from my right side and slowly puts the tip of my cock in her mouth. It feels amazing! The warmth and the wetness of her mouth. I can feel her lips wrapped around my head and her tongue slowly going back and forth. My dick gets bigger and bigger in her mouth. She moved her hand from the top by her mouth to the base of my cock and then puts all of me in her mouth. I let out a moan. The cover is blown now. She keeps going all the way up and down. I keep letting out soft moans and start wiggling my legs around a little. It feels amazing and I want more.

Now that she knows I’m awake I feel way more free to move around so I decide to try and watch her suck on my cock through the crack in my mask but she moves right before I could look. She put her left leg over me and when I look all I can see is smooth skin right in front of my face. She is in 69 position and I’m all about it. I can feel her feet on my arms which is how I found out she’s wearing pantyhose. Right away that turns me on even more as she plants her pussy right on my mouth. I get to work and start licking her up and down. Then flat tongue going side ways on her clit. While all of this is happening she’s sucking my dick like never before. It feels amazing.

Normally when my gf and I 69, she stops sucking me after a while and lets out a couple moans of pleasure from what I’m doing. This hasn’t happened as she keeps sucking. One hand holding the base and the other holding my balls. I feel like I’m going to cum soon it’s too good. My jaw starts getting sore so I switch to penetrating her with my tongue. I slid my tongue inside her and it doesn’t taste how it normally does. That’s confused me for a second but I think nothing of it and instead concentrate on how tight she feels around my tongue.

She stops sucking when I put my tongue in her and lets out a moan. Very hot but her moan immediately makes me question if this was really Sarah. Everything started to seem like it was connecting. The blowjob felt better than usual, her pussy tasted sweeter, her moan didn’t sound like Sarah’s normal moans, and now I feel like I can smell Kate’s hair. I don’t know if I’m overthinking it or if I’m just imaging/fantasizing that it is Kate and choose to ignore it for now while I’m eating her out.

She gets off me and goes to my nightstand that has condoms in it, pulls one out and puts it on me. I can see her hand putting it on but not much else. At this point I’m like 70% certain that this is Kate which has me going wild inside. And just the thought I might get to fuck her has sparks flying inside. She gets on me revers cowgirl about to slide my cock inside her and that’s when I get the best view. I see her ass hovering over my dick. I can see she’s wearing thigh highs that go up to the crevasse her ass makes on her thigh. They are so smooth and have a lace design at the top. I pan my view up and see Kate’s black hair up in a bun and her slim figure over me.

Before all the questions about how or why this is happening rush in she sits on my cock. No waiting or beating around the bush she shoves me inside of her like that’s the only thing that’s been on her mind for the past week. I can feel her pussy gripped around my cock. She’s so tight, tighter than my gf. It’s very warm and wet. She’s so wet it slid in no problem. We both let out a moan as we were sharing this amazing feeling together. I can’t stop looking at her ass planted on me. Her body is amazing and I want her. I feel her lean forward and grab my ankles. She starts riding me like the good girl she is. A perfect tempo not too slow or too fast. I’m watching her dripping from her pussy as my cock keeps sliding in and out. Her moans alone would be enough to make me cum. She sounds so sexy and I love knowing that she’s enjoying it.

I keep moaning too and start talking dirty to her. I tell her to keep going just like that. Just like the good little slut she is. She loves it and moans louder and louder. I keep telling her she’s my good girl. I want to break these arm restraints more than I’ve ever wanted anything. I want to grab her ass and waist and take control but I can’t. She has all the control right now. Her moans get louder and longer which make me go crazy. Her pussy sliding up and down my cock has brought me to my limit. I can’t possibly hold it in anymore no matter how hard I try. And I dont want to. I don’t want to try to think about something not sexy to delay it. I want to stare at her ass bouncing on my cock when I come. Where I am is where I want to be. I tell her I’m about to come and she doesn’t change anything. She doesn’t stop or speed up she just keeps going and says “cum in me daddy”

I cum so hard inside of her and she stops riding. She’s sitting all the way down on me letting my cock reach the deepest part of her as it pulses and pulses spewing cum out. She’s breathing hard and asks “did you like that?” I say “fuck, that was amazing”

I don’t know if she has given up on trying to be discrete about not being my gf or just got too caught up in how good everything felt bc she was talking. Saying dirty things like cum in me and did you like that. Before I could dive into deeper thinking about this situation she gets off me and turns around. She still straddling me just facing towards me now. I’m too scared to look through my mask bc idk what would happen if she found out I could partially see. I feel her scoot up my body. She hovers her pussy over my face and adjusts her legs. She slides her feet under my shoulders and grabs my hair with both hands careful not to move my mask.

She doesn’t want any teasing or slow play at all, Kate put her pussy right on my mouth as I stuck out my tongue and started grinding on it. Moving her hips forward and back gliding her clit on my flat tongue. She let out soft moans and a sighed “fuck” a couple times but this time as if she was holding it back realizing she shouldn’t be talking.

She stops moving and lets me do all the work. I suck on it a little bit and then start going sideways with my tongue flat on her. I can tell that’s what feels best for her bc of her moans and body movement. I switch to a circular motion and that was the golden ticket. She moans so loud without caring who can hear. Her lags clasp around my head and I can feel them shivering. She keeps shivering and moaning for a bit and is pushing my head away from her pussy because I’m assuming she doesn’t have the strength in her legs to lift herself up. Finally she calms down and lays next to me with her arm and leg draped over me.

I can see her leg over my stomach. Her smooth sexy leg in thigh highs. I wish I could use my hands and feel her. Feel her entire body. She leans over me and starts kissing me. Another dead giveaway that she isn’t my gf. Her making out is way different. She stops and I catch a glimpse of over her breasts. They are unbelievable. Bigger than Sarah’s and more rounded. I could see a small freckle on her chest too which was very attractive to me. I wanted to grab them and lick them so bad. She’s made me so horny I’m ready for round two but she gets up and I can hear her go into the bathroom.

I hear a flush and the sink. Then after a minute she comes out and takes off my condom. She has a rag and starts cleaning me up. I can see she has changed into a normal shirt and short shorts. She finishes cleaning me up and sits in between my legs. She starts slowly stroking me with her left hand while what looks like texting in her right hand. I’m rock hard now wanting more of her. She pauses for a couple seconds with her hand at the base of my cock a couple times. The she does the same thing but this time with her sucking on the head of my cock. I can see what she’s doing. She’s taking selfies with my cock in her mouth. I realize she was taking pictures of it before the selfies too. This just made me hornier. The thought of her doing that seemed sexy to me.

She then walks into the living room after closing the bedroom door. I’m left laying there wanting more and also so content with the most amazing but of my life. After a while I hear the front door open followed by some whispers and quiet giggles. The bedroom door opens and my mask comes off. It’s Sarah and she started undoing my restraints. She says “did you like that? Did it feel good?” I tell her yes and ask if she did too. She said yes and told me that Kate just got back from the gas station down the road and told me to clean up and get dressed quietly as to not leave clues to Kate what happened.

I agree a see the picture now. I’m guessing it was preplanned that Sarah was to let Kate fuck me under the condition I didn’t know it was Kate but cmon it was so obvious. 100% no doubt in my mind that was Kate and it was so lousy how they tried to hide that. I’m sure even Kate knew she had given away her identity multiple times and I’m sure Sarah knew there was no way I wouldn’t figure it out but whatever I’ll play along I guess.

I go to the living room and we all hang out like we don’t all know what just happened. Kate and I keep looking at each other pretty flirty and now I can’t stop imaging her naked and wanting to rail her on my bed. Kate and my gf went out to a cafe and now you’re caught up to the present.

I don’t know if I should tell Sarah that I know about everything that happened and ask her a ton of “why” questions or just keep everything to myself. I want to tell her so I can ask why she was fine with it after telling me she wouldn’t want a 3some with me and her friends but I also want to not say anything because I love the taboo feeling. I also do t know if I should confront Kate about it or not. I don’t know if that would be out of Sarah’s boundaries or not. I also really want to ask Kate how the pictures turned out to see how flustered I can get her.

Any advice is welcome and appreciated as I have no idea what to do or how to play this situation. Thanks for reading and sorry if it was too long or if there were any errors. I didn’t proof read.

[fleur-bbyy]

late night rendezvous /// katsuki bakugo

rating: 18+. minors dni.

word count: 4k+

warnings: smut, daddy kink, breeding kink, degrading, use of pet names, characters aged up to 20’s, college!au, quirkless!au, sex without condom (wrap it up), use of birth control, tummy bulges, alcohol use, afab reader, pussy and cunt are used to describe reader’s parts, kind of rough katsuki, color-coded texting used. pink is mina, orange is bakugo, red is kirishima.

this is my first time writing smut, take it easy on my fragile feelings :’) i’m trying to work on having my writing flow so bear with me.

we hit the highway 1-5-5 with my whole foot on the dash, she’s in my ear, she’s got no fear, she could care less if we crash.

“too lanky.” swipe

“all of his pictures have girls in them.” swipe.

“he’s definitely lying about being of age.” swipe.

“mina, why did you even have me download the damn app if all the guys on here don’t have your seal of approval?”

“you’re thinking too negatively! you just have persist and find that hidden gem!” you don’t know how your roommate convinced you download tinder. you guys always had a midweek dinner together, just making sure you stay caught up with each other due to your busy schedules. after a few too many glasses of wine, you had confessed to her that you hadn’t been properly dicked in a few months. the thought of going without good sex horrified your pink-haired friend and she was practically on her knees begging your to download some sort of dating/hookup app.

“mina i don’t think this was a good idea. either none of them fit your ‘good hookup’ standards or they don’t fit mine.” you threw your phone down in defeat.

“oh c’mon! you just ha-“

“if you tell me i have to look a little longer i’ll rip your tongue out and slap you with it.” you said, cutting her sentence off. she slowly closed her mouth and looked at the ground in thought. twiddling her thumbs as she did so. your own mind drifted away in thought until she suddenly jolted up off the couch.

“bakugo!” she yelled whilst jumping up and down like a cartoon character.

“huh?”

“oh c’mon! i know you’ve always thought he was attractive! your face turns that tomato red color every time you see him! plus, he’s been single for a while and I really think you two would look good together!” you looked up at her with a dumbfounded expression, blinking slowly.

“bakugo? as in katsuki bakugo? as in katsuki ‘stares daggers at anybody who isn’t you or his close friends’ bakugo?” you slowed down each word spoken as if it would sink into the pinkette’s head. you could admit that he was pretty attractive, but you and katsuki had only had a few interactions, none of them giving off “perfect hookup” vibes. in fact, the only vibes he gave off were “i hate your guys” vibes. each time it was when mina had the friend group over and you happened to either come in late or leave your room for something. she always invited you to join, but you always declined. never wanting to intrude on the little group that’s been inseparable since high school.

“i promise, babes, he’s actually super sweet in his own scary kind of way! you have to get to know him,” she grabbed you by your shoulders, “let me text kiri and see if he thinks bakugo would be down!” before you could express any disinterest, mina had already skipped along over to her room to get her phone. you groaned and covered your head with a pillow as you slumped down onto your couch. contemplating the events of the last hour, wishing you hadn’t of taken mina’s offer to buy your favorite flavor of red.

you sat on the couch for a few more minutes before mina happily ran back into the room and tore the pillow from your face. she was practically shoving her phone in your face with the brightness all the way up.

“jesus, mina, are you trying to blind me?”

“oh get over it you baby. anywho, kiri said he thinks it’s a great idea, and he’s been trying to get bakugo out there again, so he’s gonna try to talk him into it!” she let out a little squeal as she shook her empty hand back and forth wearing the widest smile on her face.

“yay?” you replied, a little apprehensive, but also just trying to fake some excitement.

“don’t sound too happy, babes, you’ll piss your pants in enthusiasm.” her voice dripped with sarcasm and she narrowed her eyes at you.

“i’m sorry, meens, i’m just nervous! your friends are scary and you’re trying to set me up with the scariest one!” you thought about the times you’ve encountered her friend group. all of them (excluding bakugo) had always been super friendly and inviting towards you and even encouraged you to join them if mina tried inviting you to hang out. the sheer size of all of them intimidated you the most, all of them towering over you and most of them were built from years of weight training. kirishima was the biggest, with huge muscles that always seemed to be flexed, even if he was relaxing. bakugo coming in a close second. the difference between the two was kirishima was always outgoing and friendly and bakugo was…

well, he was just not.

it seemed like he always made a point to glare at you. barely ever speaking a word if you happened to come across him in the kitchen or in the hall where the bathroom was. only brushing your shoulder as he walked past you or muttering a “tch.” if you accidentally bumped into him, even if it was his fault you two collided.

that’s why you were shocked when kirishima told mina he had actually talked bakugo into hanging out at your apartment with you.

just the two of you alone.

alone.

the thought loomed over your head for the next week. you didn’t know why you were so nervous. it’s not like it was that serious or you actually wanted it to work out. it was just simply hanging out to watch a movie or two. it’s not like you admired his toned body every time you bumped into him in your little apartment, taking in the way he smelt sweet like burnt sugar.

watching the way his shirt would lift when he grabbed something from the top of the pantry and you got to peek at his toned stomach and the little v-line that disappeared in his sweats.

the way his adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed.

you definitely didn’t see him in that way.

when the night finally came, you were a nervous wreck. you tried to hide how nervous you were, but mina saw right through your little facade.

“you are going to be absolutely fine. if you need anything, i’m turning my phone off do not disturb for you, so don’t be afraid to call or text.” she lightly applied some makeup to your face, just enough to enhance your features. she dressed you in a tennis skirt and a tight graphic crop top. not too unusual for stuff you’d usually wear out, but not something her friends had ever seen you in.

“don’t make me feel too special now. you never turn your phone off DND for anybody.” she stretched the skin around your left eye to apply some eyeliner.

“you know I love you babes. you’re my best freaking friend! now shut the fuck up so I don’t mess this up.” she swatted at you and you tried your best to contain your laughter as she finished up. afterwards, the two of you couldn’t contain your fits of giggles.

before she left the apartment, she stuffed some condoms into the drawer on the side table. “just in case” she told you. she reassured you once more that you looked amazing and that the date would go fine.

date. a little word currently giving you so much anxiety. you made your way to your smaller couch closer to the door to wait on bakugo and try to clear some of the negativity from your head.

a few minutes after she left, you heard a slightly aggressive knock on your door. before opening it, you smoothed out any wrinkles in your skirt and admired yourself in the small mirror you kept hanging near the door. a second, more aggressive, knock scared you out of your trance and you finally gripped the knob and opened the door.

bakugo was leaning against the railing across from your door and you had to admit, this man looked damn fine.

he wore a simple outfit. black jeans, white tee, and a black bomber jacket. his undercut looked as if he gelled it to look more uniform, a gesture that made your heart flutter. an outfit like this usually wouldn’t affect you much, but knowing that a man with a body that looked like it was carved by michelangelo himself was wearing it made your core buzz to life.

“hey.” you said, trying to not sound as desperate for him as you felt and gesturing for him to come inside.

“hey.” he replied dryly, pushing past your body to come inside. this time though, his hands found your waist as he moved you aside so he could fit in the doorframe. any doubts you had about maybe wanting to take your chance and fuck this man melted away. any denial about your blossoming feelings for the man also gone. you became a woman determined to get in the blonde’s pants.

you shut and locked your door and quickly told him to make himself at home and gave him the remote to pick the movie. his fingers lingered on your hand a little longer than they should’ve.

“d’ya want a drink?” you asked, making your way to your small kitchen and pulling out the ingredients to make yourself one. hoping some liquid courage would calm your nerves and be a good excuse in case bakugo didn’t reciprocate your feelings.

“yeah you can whip somethin’ up for me. kirishima told me that mina said you have some bartendin’ experience.” he looked over his shoulder at you and flashed you a smirk. there was no doubt about it, this man was confident.

“that i do,” you smiled back at him, “so you’ve been asking about me, eh?” you joked, pouring together various liquids. so far, you were finding it relatively easy to converse with the blonde on your couch. mentally cursing yourself for having to admit that mina was right about him.

you decided to make yourself a simple mixture of pink whitney and lemonade. you made him a whiskey sour, remembering mina asking you to make one real quick after he and his last girlfriend had broken up and the group was due to come at any minute to cheer him up. she told you it was his favorite.

“how’d you know, huh?” he asked as you handed him the glass.

“i have my ways, besides, a magician never reveals her secrets.” you gave him a wink as you sat next to him on the couch. he had picked some netflix show that you never got the name of, mainly because as the night went on and the drinks kept coming, you found each other engrossed in conversation. hopping from one subject to the next and finding out you have a lot of similar interests. eventually, his jacket came off and was draped over the back of the couch. leaving his toned, muscular arms on display and ready to be eyefucked by you.

“no way! i would’ve never pegged you as a drummer!”

“believe it, sweets. what? pinky never told you?” the hand he had tracing circles on your exposed thigh did not go unnoticed. neither did the pet name. you’ve been practically drilling since you sat down next to him. unsure of if you’re actually this attracted towards him or just severely depraved of any action.

“truth be told, she never goes into too much detail about you. probably because you terrify me.” he furrowed his perfect brows at you.

“terrify you?” his hand moved up your thigh some more, your core that had ached since the moment he stepped in your house now screaming for something, anything. a damp patch starting to grow on your panties.

“oh come on, there’s no way you don’t recognize how intimidating you can be. especially since you’re a huge guy,” you gripped his bicep to try to and show him what you’re talking about, but you also just wanted an excuse to touch him. you didn’t miss the way the corners of his lips turned into a smile or that his hand had moved to your waist, “plus, you’re always staring at me in such a mean looking way. could’ve had me convinced that you hate me.”

“hate you?” he started to lean in.

“yeah.” you leaned in to him too.

“‘m not sure if it’s just the alcohol talking, but i’m more than willing to show you just how big of a guy i am. i’ll show you i don’t hate you, just thought you were so fuckin’ sexy and didn’t know how to tell you.” the two of you were as close to each others faces that you could be without physically touching. your breaths fanning over his face and his to yours. his breath smelled like spearmint gum mixed with liquor.

“it’s definitely not the alcohol talking for me, wanted you since the moment you walked in.” and with that you finally closed the gap. making out with the huge blonde in the middle of your living room. hands running up and down each others bodies. yours making themselves at home in his blonde locks and his moving between groping your tits and ass, the movements making you moan into his mouth. suddenly, he pulled himself back. you gave bakugo a confused look.

“should we talk about this first? we’re both not completely there, y’know.” it startled you when he pulled away. it startled you even more when the caring words left his mouth. the gesture of wanting to make sure you weren’t taking advantage of each other while you both had alcohol in your system making you melt into his hands.

“no. i know i wan’ you, plus, im beginning to sober up.” you dove back in, but this time your lips found comfort in his neck. leaving soft kisses and nips on his sensitive skin while he tried to suppress the groans threatening to erupt from his chest. your hands found the hem of his shirt and started tugging it up. he took the hint and pulled his shirt off and throwing in behind the couch. letting you see his chest in all of its glory. any qualms the two of you may of had seemingly disappearing once his shirt was gone. he had a few blonde hairs on his chest and beautiful, tanned skin. his abs could compare to any body builder.

“y’know starin’s fuckin’s rude right, angel?” he grabbed your wrists and brought them to his chest. letting your fingers roam his nude upper half. you pinched and squeezed at his body, paying some extra attention to his nipples. the feeling of you touching his body was already becoming too much and a groan finally escaped his lips. “stop fuckin’ teasin’ me and lemme take your shirt off.”

you removed yourself from his chest and raised your arms, allowing him to take off your top. he moved his fingers slowly, delicately as if he were trying to give himself a show and savor every bit of your skin that was revealed as he pulled your shirt up. he was surprised to see that you had foregone a bra.

“such a dirty fuckin’ slut. so desperate for cock that you couldn’t even keep yourself decent.” he squeezed at your chest and took one of your nipples in his mouth. his wet tongue running circles over it again and again. he drank up the moans that left your mouth and you arched your back, making your chest press into him more and threw your head back.

“fuck bakugo!” you yelped out. you unconsciously started grinding your hips down onto his growing bulge. the arousal starting to leak through your panties and leaving a damp patch on the dark denim of his jeans. he moaned around your nipple at the contact, sending shockwaves of pleasure straight down to your core.

“you’re so fuckin’ pretty y’know that?” he said as he released your nipple from his mouth, replacing it with his hands once more. his hands were rough and calloused, but felt oh so good on your aching body. “i would’ve gotten you outta your clothes ages ago if i knew how desperate you needed it.”

“oh yeah?” you said, breathlessly, “then show me how pretty you think i am.” katsuki’s stubbornness came to your advantage when you challenged him. you knew from nights where him and the group would play mario kart on your tv that he wasn’t one to back down and he certainly wasn’t one to lose. he finally let his hand slide under your skirt on grab ahold of your perfect peachy ass.

you kept your body moving back and forth on his. one of his hands rested lazily on your hip while the other gripped at your ass and moved you at an almost impossible pace on him. he removed the hand that was kneading your ass and moved it to your aching clit. using some of his fingers to push your panties to the side and using another to run his finger up and down your soaked slit whilst you still continued grinding into him. he let you coat his finger before bringing it back up to eye level.

“look at how fuckin’ wet you are f’me.” he twisted his finger to let the slickness catch the light. the tip of the finger started to prune because of the wetness. you were already started to approach orgasm from the rough grinding, but the sight of him admiring your arousal on his finger sped the process up. your hips starting to move even faster against him and he placed the finger in his mouth. moving his tongue up and down in a dramatic showcase just for you. slurping up any of your juices that dared to drip from his index with a wicked grin on his face.

the sight of him in combination with the rough grinding on your clit was enough to make the coil inside your stomach unravel. the pressure that had been steadily building for so long finally had you releasing a clear liquid all over his now ruined jeans. you threw your head into his shoulder as your body shook from such an intense orgasm. bakugo moving his hand down to rub you clit through your panties as you released a few more spurts of liquid.

“fuck, you just squirt f’me? just from some dry humpin’? you really are such a desperate slut.” he turned his head to whisper in your ear and his words made you start to gush again. he pushed your thighs back to give him some room to unbutton his pants and free his achingly hard cock from its confines. you had to admit, everything about him really was big. he wasn’t as long as some that you’ve had before, but boy was he thick. you eyed the vein the ran under his cock and his angry, red tip with a pearl of pre just waiting for you to suck.

you started to make your way out of his lap and down to the floor, but he grabbed your thighs and settled you back where you were resting before.

“you don’t want me to give you head?” you asked, quizzically.

“no, just fuckin’ need to get inside you.” he pushed your panties to the side once more.

“but baku-“

“don’t fuckin’ call me that after you squirted all over me. just call me katsuki.” you took ahold of your panties as he ran his cock up and down your wetness, lubing himself up. he lined himself up with your slippery entrance and grabbed your hips to keep you from slamming down onto him, you wanted this just as much as he did and you practically cried trying to throw yourself down onto him.

“please fuck me katsuki!” your eyes started filling with frustrated tears as you wiggled. your hips over him, trying to get some friction.

“you’re gonna have to try harder than that, angel.” he gave you a devilish smirk and raised his hand to wipe some of the tears that dripped from your lashes.

you were desperate and willing to pull out all the stops to get what you wanted.

“fuck me daddy please i need you so fucking badly.” you didn’t even comprehend the words you were saying, so hellbent on getting him inside you. you watched his ruby eyes somehow darken even more with ravenous arousal.

“say that shit again.”

“fuck me daddy?” you said in a more confused than begging tone. the grip he had on your hips was so tight you were sure bruises would be left as he thrusted into your warm and inviting walls. the stretch of having him was so deliciously good that you either didn’t have any pain or it was easily overlooked. one of his hands found his face as he laid his head back on the couch. the sight of your tits bouncing as you fucked yourself down on him was almost too hot to handle.

you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a sloppy kiss and you roughly bounced up and down on his length. your tongues dancing together and his thighs beginning to flex from the pleasure of having you on him.

“fuck yeah baby uh throw that ass back on me. wish i could fuckin’ see it. fuck this cock shit fuckin’ use my body.” a harsh slap landed on your ass as he hiked your skirt up around your waist. making sure nothing could impede his perfect view. he loved watching his cock appear and disappear in in your tight folds. he used on his hands to spread your lips apart and get a good look at your glistening clit, the sight making him audibly groan. the lewd moans leaving your lips were loud enough for the neighbors to start pounding their fists on the other side of the wall.

“ignore them. jus’ wanna fuck you.” you said, voice barely above a whisper and tainted by strings of moans that kept leaving your body. his hips had now started to snap upwards into you. every time you bounced down on him, he fucked upwards causing his cock to reach impossibly deep in you. he put one of his hands over your belly and almost came just from the feeling of being able to feel himself deep in your guts.

“look at the way this pussy just sucks me in, you fuckin’ love it… you love the way i fuck this sweet pussy.. shit shit shit.” katsuki’s words shooting straight to your throbbing cunt and making you ride him and an impossible pace. the sound of skin slapping and the squelching of your juices fills your apartment and echos off the walls. your moans and his rough grunts somehow making the two of you even hornier. just two college kids with sex hormones going insane.

you really lost it when he leaned over and let a fat amount of spit slide off his tongue and onto the base of his cock before you slid down on him again. the added lube helping bring you closer to your second orgasm of the night. your pussy fluttering and clenching down on him.

“fuck, you’re close aren’cha? wanna cum on this cock? i wanna know what it feels like to have you cum around me.” his words causing the familiar burning sensation in your stomach to come back for a second time. one of his hands come down to roughly rub your clit and your nails start to dig into the junction where his neck and shoulders meet. sweat was causing his blonde hairs to stick to his forehead and his abs glisten.

“fuck yes mark me baby. wan’ everyone to know i’m fuckin’ yours.” his thumb rubbed your swollen clit at what felt like a near impossible pace and you know you were close to snapping once more.

“god fuck me daddy… fuck me daddy… fuck me daddy i need to cum around your cock! i need to feel you fill me up!” for the second time this night his eyes filled with carnal desire as he started relentlessly fucking into you once more. babbling in his pussy drunk state about how good you feel around him and how good he’s gonna fill you. words fall on deaf ears as your second orgasm overtakes you so hard that white flashes over your eyes and squeal at a deafening pitch. you grip his blonde locks as your long awaited release leaks down his thighs and onto the couch.

“that’s it baby. paint this cock with your cum. fuck i don’ know if i can last much longer.”

“jus’ fucking cum for me katsuki please, i need it so bad daddy please. god… fuck!” his pace never faltered, even though your pussy tried to force him out as you came. he just kept fucking up into you, desperate to let go.

“fuck fuck baby m’ gonna cum, gonna fill you up so fuckin’ good baby. take it fuckin’ take it all…. you on birth control? he whined in your ear as you laid your head on his shoulder completely fucked out. you managed to lift up a bit just to nod your head yes to his question. with your granted permission, his hips started to slightly falter and with a few more rough thrusts, he released his hot seed into your abused cunt. he threw his head back in ecstasy as he came so much it spilled out of you. you threw your hips onto him a few more times before he had to grab you to stop.

“fuckin’ hell angel are you tryin’ to kill me?” he said through breathless pants, shooting a tired smile at you. you smiled back at him with hazy eyes. it was clear you were both exhausted from the nights activities. in the room’s quietness, you heard him chuckle.

“what’s so funny hot-shot?” you looked up at him, confused.

“the screen, ain’t that fuckin’ classic.” he started laughing again as you turned over your shoulder to see netflix’s “are you still watching?” screen light up your living room. you couldn’t help laughing a bit too. after the laughing had ceased, the two of you remained in an embrace as he gently lifted you up and slid his now soft cock out of you.

he stroked your hair as you started to let sleep overtake you. bakugo didn’t mind. he thought your tired/fucked-out face was the most adorable sight to see.

“mmm ‘night katsuki.” your words came out slurred because of your sleepiness.

“g’night baby.” he heard you start to lightly snore against his chest. he continued petting your hair and rubbing your back, content with having you rest atop him. mina wasn’t supposed to come back until morning, so he didn’t have to worried about you guys getting caught naked with his limp dick still out.

he played on his phone for about ten minutes until he felt it vibrate. he looked at the top notification panel and saw it was his group message on snapchat that he sometimes dreaded being apart of. he slid open the chat and saw that it was kirishima that had texted.

hey man, how’s it goin between you 2?

it’s going fine. she’s sleeping right now.

well?

well what?

did you do it??????

are you fucking 12? just say sex.

is that a yes?

bakugo knew they knew the answer. they messed with denki the same way last time they knew he got laid. deciding to play into their little game, he pulled up the camera on snapchat while the group chat began to buzz to life as sero and kaminari also started typing. he angled the camera so none of your privates were seen, but enough so they got the point. he rested his large hand under your skirt and on your asscheek as he clicked the circular button to take the picture. neither of your faces visible, but his bare thighs and your bare back could be seen. he sent the picture and went back into the chat and started typing.

this answer your fucking question?

[spamgyu]

hii !! it's my first time requesting to you but can I request for something like giving mingyu kisses with red lipstick on after he comes back from paris (I'm tryna distract myself from that dior fit but he still looked too good nonetheless 😔) thank you!!!!!

So what I'm hearing is you want me DEAD

Alright.... let's do this

Tweaked the request a bit .....

LA VIE EN ROSE – MINGYU DRABBLE

*NOTE: this is not edited sorry. Brain rot is so bad.

"Baby," The heavy door of their shared hotel suite shut behind Mingyu as he called out for you. "I'm back."

"Bathroom!" You called out.

It wasn't long before he appeared at the door way, leaning against the doorframe as he watched you wipe away your eye make-up – a soft smile on his lips.

"How was the show?" You turned to face him, putting a pause to your night routine.

"Crazy," He let out a soft chuckle, recalling to the crowd that had showered him with love just outside the venue. "I wish you could have seen it."

Upon hearing that he had a schedule in the city of love, Mingyu didn't think twice to bring you along – convincing his managers that you needed to be there for your own work purposes.

Which wasn't much of a lie, attending shows of your own favorite brands for research purposes.

It was a silly excuse all that mattered was that it worked and you were there with him. More importantly, looking quite beautiful in the all black attire you had managed to put together; a leather mini skirt with graphic hoodie that seemed to swallow your frame, paired with knee high boots and trench coat.

And even more the better that you were wearing his favorite shade of lip color – a matte red, bringing all the attention to the soft pillows he loved the most.

"I think I saw a bit of it on twitter." You smiled, walking over to him – slinging your arms around his neck. "You're drooling."

Mingyu laughed, reaching up to wipe the corner of his lips as his other hand rested at your hips. "How was yours?"

"Great, the marketing team loved the collection." Your gaze mirroring his – the two of you may have been conversing about your day but both of your minds were on one thing and one thing only.

Each other's lips.

"So how long do I have to keep this up before you let me kiss you?" Mingyu hummed, his head dipping dangerously close to yours.

"Do what?" You asked playfully, brushing your lips against his before pulling back – earning a pout from him.

"You're so annoying." His grip tightened, pulling you against his chest – a little too rough, you may add, causing you to stumble and your lips landing on the collar of his shirt.

Leaving a faint mark of your lips behind.

"Babe!" You gasped, knowing that he had to return the shirt by the end of the trip.

"You're right, I'll be in deep shit. Probably get an earful and I'll most likely be so sad." He feigned the same reaction as yours. "I think a kiss will make it better."

Giggling, you knew there was no winning – not that you cared. You had left the hotel before him earlier in the day and did not get the chance to see him when he had been in full Dior clothing and beauty.

And maybe it was for the best, because had you seen how gorgeous he looked, he might have not made it to the show without traces of your red lips all over his face... and neck.

You remembered sitting in the hired car, scrolling through social media and seeing all images of your boyfriend roll in – looking absolutely breathtaking in the midst of the crowd.

"Is that so?"

Mingyu nodded, his bottom lip jutted out.

"Well then, I guess" You sighed, your nose brushing against his. "I just have to."

"Maybe even make out, I don't know." He mumbled against your lips, before taking your bottom lip between his – smiling briefly at the thought of the color messily transferring on his skin as your lips and tongues slowly moved against each other.

PERMANENT TAGLIST

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[in-hav3n]

heyy

i just had this idea:

imagine current james hiring a young woman as his personal assistant, to help him organize his schedule and stuff like that.

she's good at her job but she's a dynamic and kind of stubborn person. one day james misunderstands something so he thinks that she messed up even tho HE was the one who actually messed up.

he started complaining about what he thinks she did wrong but then she manages to prove that she was right all along and that he had misunderstood the situation.

he gets turned on by her dynamism and the way she defended herself and proved him wrong so he ends up fucking her on his desk.

(please, write how you imagine the argument and of course the last part when he fucks her 🤭)

𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 ?

Warnings : NSFW - sex scene - rough sex - age gap

"(X/Y) ? Can you come in my office, now ?".

James' voice interrupted you as you were sitting at the kitchen table, talking about a new vegetarian restaurant in town with Kirk. Your eyes landed on your boss and you nodded professionally.

"Yes, sure".

His appearance was enough to change the atmosphere of the room. Curiously, all the conversations stopped and everyone looked at James. Kirk looked at you with a curious frown too, wondering why his buddy adopted this particular tone to ask. You answered him with a shrug. You had no idea what he wanted since it was near the end of the day and you were all about to leave. Maybe he wanted to ask you one more important task that had to be done now ? Who knows with James...

You greeted goodbye to the guys and some management's member that were in the kitchen or in the recording room as following James through HQ's alleys. HQ was now a pretty big building the guys had fitted out through the years. Each rooms had its own purpose, going from recording room to instruments storage. They also thought to put a recreation room where they could play pool or have fun with a pinball machine when they needed to refresh their mind from talks and argues about the songs of the new album.

James' office was the last room at the end of the building, next to a tech room and the laundry room. You didn't know why he had chosen to have this one since the others were more close to the exit, on the other side of the building, but only assumed that it was his way to have his own personal space where he could be quiet. Which wouldn't surprised you considering his character.

James was a respectful, nice and empathic boss. When you were hired as his personal assistant, a year ago, you had fears since he was a big rockstar and seemed pretty intimidating but he was the exact opposite. He was really a gentle, down to earth man who let you do your job the best you could. He was very understanding and never complained. That's why his earlier attitude surprised you. He seemed concerned and his face showed no expressions. Which was even more stressful. But you had also learned that since his divorce, James seemed more introvert, sometimes quiet and with no expressions...

He opened his office door for you and moved to the side to let you in. You thanked him by passing by, still holding your agenda and your smart computer against your heart. As a good employee, you just stood in front of his desk and waited for him.

"Is there anything I can do ?", you finally asked, breaking the ice.

Usually he would have told you immediately what was the matter. His silence was uncomfortable. James closed the door when you got in and joined you, hands in his pocket. You follow each of his step with your glance, heart beating of anticipation.

"Actually yes. We have a problem", you frowned at his words.

The world "problem" was enough to feel even more nervous. You waited for an explanation he gave right away. He grabbed his phone from his back pocket and open his mails, still in silence. You started to breathe deeper, holding tighter your personal stuffs against your chest as waiting for the reason of his disappointment. But even after searching in your mind, you found no reasons for him to be disappointed.

"Cigar Aficionado sent me an mail to confirm the photoshoot on Wednesday the 6th", he started as looking at you. "We talked about it and we both agreed on the 8th. If you wanted to change the date to match with one of my another appointment you could have told me before (X/Y). Now I have to change all my schedule cause I had planned something else on this date".

His tone was professional, direct and serious. You didn't recognize the James you knew and it was really curious. You listened at his speech and waited to defend yourself.

"I'm sorry Mr Hetfield but...", you gulped, shaking your head. "The date never changed. When we talked about this interview and photoshoot, you told me you preferred a Wednesday and it was the only date available", you explained, not believing your ears. James was thinking you completely messed up but you did nothing wrong. As always, he was the one choosing the date first.

"A Wednesday? I doubt it", he replied back, with a chuckle. "Now it's scheduled for a day that doesn't suit me at all and I'm really disappointed".

His words hurt like a knife. "Disappointed". It hurt cause you always did your best, everyday. You always checked everything twice to be sure. You were always reachable, day and night, and you always fulfilled all his ask. You wanted to show him your value and this was you got in return. You had to fight back.

"I'm deeply sorry but I have nothing to do with this", you added with a convinced tone. "I can prove it to you", you quickly opened your agenda, holding it against you carefully. James joined you to see but he didn't seem to be ready to believe you. You held your breath for a short brief when you feel his stature next to you. You finally found the page and pointed out the info for him with a shaken finger.

"There. 6th April. Photoshoot and interview. I wrote this with you, we were in your office. I even told you they were particularly fussy concerning the schedule and you told me you didn't care. You also did a joke about the name of their press manager".

James frowned at your explanation, with an expression that seemed to say "I'm still searching if I should believe you or not", but kept a inner chuckle when he heard you remembered one of his stupid joke. He was surprised you paid attention to this. But he was also surprised that you dared to say he was the one to be wrong. He always thought you were a nice shy girl and he was witnessing another side of your personality...and he was enjoying it.

"Maybe but still", he replied back. He had now an idea in mind and wanted to see where this could lead..."You did wrong and I'm really disappointed. I don't want this to happen again", he conclued as turning his back to leave.

You opened your mouth. It was incredible. You placed your stuffs on his desk in a too much harsh movement but you couldn't contain your frustration anymore. He was really stubborn and you were sure to be right. He had to listen. It wasn't fair to accuse you.

"Listen. Once again I'm sorry if this date doesn't suit you but I tell you, once again, I'm not responsible. You asked me to plan this on the 8th April and as your personal assistant, I scheduled it as you asked", you explained.

James turned over and looked at you. His no expression face disturbed you for a while but your envy of justice was enough to give your courage. But deep inside, James was enjoying this moment. There you were finally showing what he wanted to see and he was pleased. You had the guts to defy him and he liked it.

"Are you sure of it ?", he asked, wanting to push you to the limit. He wanted to see what you could do and what you'd be ready to do to prove you were right.

"Of course I am", you gasped in disbelief. "I'm sorry but I'm doing my job the best I can since you hired me ! Within a year, I don't think I've ever done a misstep. I'm giving myself every day for this job because I really like it and with all due respect I don't like hearing that I did something wrong when I know I didn't".

James smiled, amused and more impressed by your determination. He had to admitted that he always found you really pretty and beautiful but this character you had now was really turning him on. Your white shirt slightly opened revealed a bit your pink skin near your breasts and it was enough to make him burn of excitement.

"Would you swear it ?", he asked, playing his game till the end, coming closer like a pretador. You didn't notice his play tough, neither what he was about to do. But stil, seeing him closer was enough to make you loose your breath a little.

"Of course, I-I'd", you said back, not understanding what was happening. "I swear... I- I din't nothing wrong. You misunderstood and...". You were cut off by James lips crashing on yours. You pulled away immediately, surprised, as placing your both palms on his strong chest.

Even with heels, you weren't tall enough to be face to face with him. You looked up at him, asking for an explanation but you only got a chuckle as James hands laid on your hips.

You were totally hypnotized by his beautiful blue eyes, his smirk and his delicate touch. But it was all wrong...Of course, you always found him really charming and gorgeous, who could resist to this man? Him holding you this way was a dream coming true. But you also remembered that he was older than you and most of all, he was your boss. It wasn't right at all.

Your butt landed against his desk and the air in the room became thick and extremely hot.

"You did wrong you know that...", James said with his husky voice. You didn't leave his gaze and shook your head. He wanted to get you on your nerves and it was working.

"I did not...", you challenged him with a more confident tone as diving into his beautiful blue eyes. One last corner smile and James bend again to kiss you, more hungrily, more deeper this time. And you let it go...One of your hand landed on his neck to push him further against your lips. They were soft, tasting sweetly cigar and mint and now that you tasted them, you wanted them more. You forgot all the previous thoughts you had and only focused on what was happening and how good this was.

James left your lips to devour your neck with wet kisses. You moaned shyly and closed your eyes, as one hand gripped his shirt whilst the other ran into his grey hair. James enjoyed your touch and let you know by a slight moan against your skin. His hungry fingers opened her shirt more and this made you looked at what he was doing in disbelief. You helped as putting off your shirt out of your skirt before he nearly ripped the last button. He opened the clothe in one movement to give attention to your breasts now.

"Oh god...", you moaned in a whisper as your head fell back and your hand gripped the edge of the desk to have a better support. No doubt James definitely knew what to do with his lips and tongue. He spread wet kisses on your skin whilst his fingers slowly pulled off your bra cup to expose your breast.

Being so exposed would had normally made you feel uncomfortable but with the adrenaline of the argument you had put you both in some sort of trance that couldn't stopped until the desire you felt would be fulfilled.

James looked up at you, while he was still feasting on your breasts, cupping them while he was sucking your already hard nipples. He was taking care of them like if it was a precious thing and this made you gasped of excitement as looking at him, caressing his face. He shifted into high gear without a word by pushing you on his desk to make you sit on it.

He knew what he wanted and you liked being conducted. But you also wanted to show him that you had guts for sex too and not only for argument. So your hands quickly found their way on his belt buckle and you opened his button, unzipped his jeans with shaking hands to reveal the huge bulge he was hiding in his boxer.

"In a hurry sweetheart?", he asked with a grin as he helped and pulled off his boxer along his thighs, his dick swinging proudly, hitting his lower belly. You bite your lower lip and looked at him with a grin. He played with you now it was time to play with him. Slowly, your palm embraced his hard member and your finger wrapped around his base as you gently started to stroke him. James groaned low and bend to kiss you softly.

"You seem to know what you want...", he whispered, adding another peck. You smiled and pecked him again while your hand was still working on him.

"I know I'm right...and I know what I want", you gasped in a sexy tone as using your other hand to stroke him better with two hands.

James eyes opened wilder and he chuckled at your answer.

"Then skirt up and take off that panties for me baby", he commanded again and as his nice and obedient employee, you did as he asked. You put your feet back on the ground, raised your skirt over your hips with your hands then sat again. James didn't stop looking, stroking himself as admiring the view. He didn't expect any of this but now he was craving for it. This argument and the guts you have showed were enough to awaken the beast.

With a swing, you roll on your butt and quickly pulled off your panties, your pussy shivering at the cold air of te room. You threw it somewhere, not caring, and opened your legs wide for him.

"You're ready for me sweetheart?", he asked and you checked on yourself on your own wetness, your fingers rubbing your wet lips. You were already wet and you've never been so wet so quickly before to be honest. This man really knew what he was doing and it was exciting as hell.

You nodded and James came closer, lining himself up with you. He pushed your pelvis further, with his hands gripping your butt to do so and you felt his tip hitting your entrance by surprise. You gasped a moan and looked beneath you whilst James giggled.

"Sensitive ?". He gently rubbed his tip on your wet lips with his right hand, collecting the wetness before he rubbed his tip on your clit. Another moan, louder this time, escaped your lips.

"Damn, fuck me!", you panted. You couldn't take this tease anymore and you needed him right now. James spat on his hand to add more wetness on his tip and then pushed inside you, with a slow but powerful thrust. His left hand gripped one of your thigh to keep you against him. He pushed enough to thrust deep and your hands had no choice but to grip his forearms. James pulled out and pushed in a few times to stretch you until he felt you were ready for a slow pace.

"Oh it's good...", you panted and moaned at the same time, your head rolling back and forth. You didn't want to miss any eye contact with him, noticing his pupils went darker, showing lust and excitement.

"Your pussy is so sweet and tight baby...", he groaned of pleasure and you grinned back at him, your nails digging inside his flesh.

"Faster please...fuck me harder", you commanded him as gripping one of his hips, pushing his lower back deeper inside you to show you the rhythm you want. He was so good at it that you couldn't resist to take the lead too. James moaned low and his hands gripped your both thighs, with a harder grip that would surely left marks tomorrow but you didn't care. You wanted him to ram into you now that he started this dance.

"FUCK yes! ", you moaned loud, not even thinking anymore that you were actually fucking your boss and this was real. Not even caring that someone might heard you behind the door. It was the end of the journey after all and everyone would left soon. No one was really coming in this side and maybe now you had found the reason why James' office was that far from the other rooms...

You started to move your pelvis at his pace, in unison, your hands now founding a better grip on his desk. His pubic hair were slightly scratching again your sensitive clit and it was extremely hot. But James didn't like sharing control and this attitude started to annoy him, but in a good way. It awakened the beast in him.

He suddenly pulled off in a move, his dick still hard and swollen from the fuck you just had. You whined of surprise, feeling completely empty.

"What's...?", you started to ask in a gasp, wondering what was happening. But James didn't let you finish your ask that he pushed you back on the ground and gently turned you over his desk. You have no other choice than to obey and this sudden change aroused you even more. He was taking control, he wanted to show you who was ruling.

"Ass up baby...", he groaned in a command tone. You moaned as doing what he asked, bending over the wooden table to grip the other edge of it, already anticipating what was about to come next. You felt your pussy pulsing of excitement, wanting him to fuck you again and more. James slapped your ass hard once and came behind you, his dick hitting your entrance from behind. You moaned and lifted a bit your ass to line up with him.

James bend his chest over your back, caught your throat with his palm as his face came closer. You felt his breath near your ear, making you shiver.

"I'm gonna fuck you so well...my dick is gonna pound into you so hard baby...", he whispered in a groan as slapping you again. You moaned loud.

"Oh yes please...I want it"

"Yes who?", he teased you, biting your earlobe as his catch around your throat tighten.

"Yes Mister Hetfield", you gasped of ecstasy, something deep inside you vibrating inside your entire body as you let out those words. This was turning you on in a level you've never experienced and you were sure you'd cum soon.

"That's better",he groaned before pulling away, pushing your lower back to line up properly. He rubbed his tip on your wet lips and you gasped again, waiting for the push. You wanted him more than anything. And in one deep thrust, James pushed inside you again. You moaned longer and higher, your fingers gripping the desk so hard it was hurtful.

"Look at you...", James groaned as spreading your ass to admire the view, "my cock is stretching your high pussy...you're so desperate for me...so wet for my cock". You whined hard and moved your body, fucking yourself against his cock. You desperately wanted to come since you felt you were over the edge. But James stopped when he felt your moves and slapped you again. You groaned low with an erotic moan.

"I command sweetheart...", he whispered with a strong tone, letting you know who was commanding again. His hand ran along your back, spreading the sweat drops that started to appear on your skin. You simply nodded and waited for your issuance. James hand went on his exploration as he thrusted very slow into you until this hand pushed you against him. Your back hit his chest and his strong inked arm wrapped around you to keep you there.

And now James gave you what you wanted. He started to ram into you, frantically. His pelvis hit your butt in harsh moves and this was providing good sensations too with his dick thrusting hard and deeper into you like this.

"Hold...on me...baby", he panted hard and you tried to hold on him the best you can to not fall.

"Oh my god yes...fuck me please", you begged as feeling a strong and powerful bund of energy blowing inside your lower belly, announcing your close orgasm. "I'm gonna cum", you panted and your eyes rolled back behind your eyes.

"Come on my cock baby, do it", James helped you with his dirty talk as going faster, the faster he could, gripping your both arms from behind to slam more inside you until he felt you losing control. He caught you before you fell and didn't stop moving until you finished to cum.

You moaned loud, gasping and mumbling incoherent words such as "fuck me", "feels good". Your bit your lips so hard that you hurt yourself but you didn't care. The pleasure invading you was beyond any you've experienced before. Your pussy contracted around his dick and James groaned, feeling he could be closer too.

He gave you one last deep pound that made you scream loud one last time before falling on the desk. You took your breath the best you can as he kept moving slowly inside you, working on his own orgasm now. Your pussy were more sensitive and tight and this felt good on his dick.

"Where do you want me to cum baby?", he asked as placing his palm on your butt, keeping the track. You turned your head over and looked at him with a mischievous grin.

"Inside me please...cum inside me", you asked as opening your ass cheeks for him. James moaned at the view and helped you, placing his hands on yours.

"I'm gonna cum... inside your pretty pussy", he said as his head fell back, feeling the fire coming inside him. He felt it blowing inside his lower belly and he closed his eyes to abandon himself at this pleasure he was feeling. He heard your moans and whines while he pounded a few more times before he felt this was the time. He stopped and let it go.

"Fucking god...", he groaned loud, with a deep manly grunt as his fingers gripped your butt cheeks skin harder, spreading them open as he poured in his load inside you. You moaned in return, feeling his hot cum and smiling big. You were still having the delicious effects of your orgasm running through your veins.

"Fuck...", James groaned again as pulling off from you in a move, carefully to not hurt you and just stood there, looking at his cum going out of your pussy. You looked over and caught his lustful glance. You grinned and bite your lip, as feeling his load coming out your pussy to glide along your swollen lips. He slapped your butt one last time, enjoying it and so did you. You saw his chest raising slowly as he caught his breath.

"Oh my god...", you said in a gasp as taking back a normal position. Your legs and arms were completely sore but you stretched a little to ease it. James quickly pulled on his boxer and jeans while you moved back your skirt on your hips to cover you. You had no idea where your panties was...

"My personal assistant should be wrong more often", James suggested as taking your hand to pull you against his chest. You accepted the gesture even if you never expected sucked kindness and aftercare after this intense sex you had. You giggled as well, gently snapping his chest.

"I was right Mister Hetfield ! You were the one who was wrong. And you better accept it now that I proved it to you", you grinned, happy to finally have the last word on this story. But it was worth it...

AN : Thank you anon for this perfect ask ! <3 I love this kind of idea, even more with current James who fits perfectly for this! I hope you'll enjoy this, cause I really had fun and as you'll see, I couldn't stop writing lol!

[dearweirdme]

JKKRs NEED to sexualize their ship coz without it, JKK are really just close friends. So JKKRs emphasize on sexualizing their interactions and sound like sex deprived fans coz JK's sweet nature and big heart is shared to all members and they need to find something that makes their ship unique implying a different type of relationship. Apart from being close friends, there's nothing deeper or mysterious about their interactions. They're advertised as a duo, fans love it. Company monetizes it. Shipper sexualize them, unfortunately. Plus they sexualize them in a very stereotypical hetero way. That alone should have shippers take a step back if they still have some critical thinking skills left.

Hi anon!

Let me tell you how crazy it is (not that we don’t all know.. just.. for entertainment reasons 😂).

They have made the ‘not meeting’ conversation into it meaning that Jk and Jm went through a rough patch (insert romantic struggles while there being no signs of that at all).

They have made Jm and Jk’s playfighting on the boat when Jm said he’ll shit on Jk into sexual behavior (insert sex when there’s none).

They think Jk took care of Jm when he was sick in NY.. when Jk was pretty much just minding his own business and not at all bothered.

A lot of them actually think they didn’t want Tae with them at Jeju. They blamed Tae’s influence on Jk for Jk being disrespectful and bullying to Jm. They blame Tae for the Jeju episode being less intimate 😂. There’s people who actually believe that Jk was savage to Tae because he did not want Tae there.

They think Jm and Jk’s ramen talk was about having sex (I swear, these men will never be able to actually talk about wanting to eat ramen).

They think a cut in the footage means that Jk and Jm were getting frisky.

I don’t know where they get it from.. but apparently the consensus is that at Jeju the difference between Jk and Jm and Jk and Tae’s closeness was in favor of Jkk.

They got mad because Tae prevented Jk and Jm from wearing matching swimming shorts and they got mad because Tae stole Jm’s scooter. Oh.. they also got mad about Tae stealing Jm’s watergun. (I swear these people are three years old).

They think Jk and Jm used signlanguage at one point to.. I don’t even know what it meant according to them… probably something to do with undying love.

They hated ham-gate.. again a lot of anger towards Jk ‘because how can he treat Jm like that?’.

Jm sleeping while Jk cooks is the epitome of domesticity.

It all gets turned up a notch for the Sapporo episodes.

The lack of footage from Tokyo is apparently sus… while the fact that Jm and Jk weren’t together a lot in Tokyo is ignored.

They obviously slept in the same bed (something to do with a clearly recently vacated spot and bedsheets being not messy enough).

Jk took a pic of the number at the restaurant has something to do with their numbers game… don’t ask me!

Jm mentioning having a daughter was them being open.

I actually read someone say ‘they are so brave’ by having filmed Sapporo. Like.. yes, my men are brave.. but nothing of that has anything to do with filming this series. It’s work. Very clearly so. It’s been done to fit their schedules. There’s entire teams around them. There’s no privacy at all.

Please let them get a grip soon 😫😫.

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check In - September 28th, 2023 🎀

did not do much today by my standards but I’m still recovering from this cold plus my allergies are acting up so I’ve been in bed a lot of today. I did accomplish some things tho so it was not a fully unproductive day for me!

🩷 What I Ate Today -

Breakfast - boiled chicken potstickers, hash browns with ketchup, and a coffee

Lunch - bowl of spaghetti with two pieces of buttered bread

Dinner - two slices of dominoes handmade pan pepperoni pizza and three slices of cheese bread

Extra - three more cups of coffee and not near enough water, half a green smoothie made with frozen fruits, spinach, and almond milk

I have not been eating the best recently and I know that, but I think that’s due to my hormones being messed up at the moment, my current sickness, my extreme fatigue and exhaustion, and a lack of physical activity in my life. However, I decided I’m going to try to go to the gym and get on the treadmill (maybe do some strength training if I’m feeling confident enough) at my university activity center at least three days a week so that way I can start getting some of my energy back and gain some more discipline and control in my life. I’m hoping I get to the point where I can be a runner again, I miss my 8 minute mile time, my running playlist, and how free I felt when I’d go running. So that’s a new goal of mine as well! My boyfriend even said we can go jogging together when I see him next weekend, so I’m looking forward to that for sure!

🩷 Personal Accomplishments -

Did the dishes

Brought my laundry from the dryer to my room (have yet to put away clean clothes)

Night time skincare

Studied Duolingo/Busuu for ~20 minutes

Skimmed through first Genki lesson in preparation for actually studying from the textbook

Showered and washed my hair

made a tentative workout schedule in google calendar for next week

🩷 Academic Accomplishments -

completed and submitted extended assignment for psychology class

completed and submitted lab report for anatomy lab

began paper set up for first section of research study paper for psychology class

again, not a super productive day but I’m still happy with it. I got a decent amount of stuff done and I have some stuff I want to accomplish tomorrow, which I will list below.

🩷 Academic Goals for Tomorrow, Sept 29th -

Complete a rough draft of first section of research study paper before 10am psychology lab

Begin taking notes for module six for my health for sport and fitness class

Complete practical assignment for health for sport and fitness class

~20 minutes japanese study using apps

🩷 Personal Goals for Tomorrow, Sept 29th -

Morning and Night skincare

morning and night guided journal

work on content for RD mentor instagram

Go to bed by 10pm (be asleep by that time!!!)

Drink at least one liter of water

Only two cups of caffeine

Don’t buy anything from the university food court!

wake up early <3

not the most specific personal goals but still things that I know I can achieve! I’m super tired and it’s not even that late and I haven’t done much this week. That’s how I know I made the right decision to take time for myself. always have your own best interest at heart, in a positive and healthy way! Don’t push past your limits and don’t let yourself burn out! It’s easier said than done but taking care of yourself is so important! That’s something I need to continually remind myself!

til next time lovelies 🩷🤍

[shirohige-pirates]

Hey Doll

CisFem Reader x Thatch

CW: toxic parents, manipulation, The Plan™, smut, mdni, I'll add as we go I'm kind of fly by the seat of my pants on this one.

tag list: @mfreedomstuff @harahettania @clumsyraccoon

Chapter 10: Kiss Kiss

Thatch gathered up the six duffel bags, and just had you open doors for him. It was a compromise from wanting to carry at least one of the bags, but he assured you they weren’t that heavy. It felt a little like you were sneaking out of the house, or running away, but he was so easy going about the entire thing it helped you relax.

The sun was still down when you exited the estate. It was cooler and darker than you’d expected, but you weren’t out in the dark for long. Thatch set three of the bags on the roof of what you assumed was his car. It was white with gold racing stripes down the front. It looked like an older model car but it was in near pristine condition.

You lean to get a closer look, trying to find some kind of marking to help you figure out what kind of car it is, but you don’t know much to begin with.

“It’s a 65’ Shelby Fastback. Technically, at least.” He says after noticing you looking over the car. He clicks a remote and pops the trunk before he starts to fit the duffel bags in it. “It was pretty much just a frame when I found it. Fossa, Jozu, Vista, Haruta, and even Marco helped me restore it, we were still in school back then.” He grins, closing the trunk coming around and opening the passenger door for you.

“We replaced so much over three years, and keeping her going since then, she’s pretty much all new now. She’s got electric windows and seats because I couldn’t find manual parts anymore, and don’t have time to machine any myself.” He leans on the door frame slightly and gives you a smile. “Thanks, doll.”

“For?”

“Letting me get the door.” He clarifies, making sure you’re in the seat before he closes the door, and comes over to the other side.

“I… you’re… welcome?” You stammer, not really sure what to say. Thatch laughs, but it doesn’t feel like he’s laughing at you.

“It’s just something I like being able to do, is all.” He reassures you, turning the key and bringing the engine to life. It’s rough and a little loud, but not obscene. Thatch sees you wince as he puts the car into gear. “I promise, we’re not going to get in trouble. Pops’ isn’t gonna come running out of the house yelling.”

“I’m beginning to worry that you can read my mind.” You admit, heat in your face at being read so well.

“If I ever do, I promise I’ll tell you.” He replies and you almost bark a laugh at the absurdity, and truth, of the statement. That he says it so sincerely is sweet.

Thatch fills the silence with easy conversation as he drives. He tells you what the apartment is like, how his schedule usually goes. How he won’t be going back to work until Monday, so counting today, the two of you had almost three whole days to get you settled in.

He talked about the music he liked, what the presets for the radio were in the car, and talked about mostly random, but useful stuff.

“You, uh, don’t have your own phone, do you?” He asks, and you shake your head.

“I had a phone, but it wasn’t mine. I didn’t bring it with me for the meeting, and I don’t imagine it’s in my stuff either.” You admit.

“Not a problem. We can get you one tomorrow, we’ll just take it easy today.”

“You don’t - I mean -.” You put your hands in your lap and look away. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, uhm, your book said you hadn’t worked before, but you were adept at housekeeping and such, and I make enough for both of us, so I don’t mind.” He says. “I was already planning on sitting down and going over a budget with you. We can set you up an account when you’re ready, and set up… something.”

He makes a face, but he doesn’t look upset. “I don’t want to call it an allowance. I mean, I own a business, there’s no reason we can’t set up a paycheck situation of some kind.”

“I don’t need a paycheck, it’s - I - I mean an allowance is fine.” All you can think about is if you have your own money your parents will figure out a way to take it.

“Don’t panic, doll.” He says evenly. “It’s not something we’ll worry about right away. I’ll take care of you, don’t worry. We got clothes for you, and you can make a list of anything you need and we can try and get it when we get you a phone tomorrow. We’ll worry about the other details later, there’s no rush.”

“Okay.” You agree, trying not to let your mind race with concerns just yet.

Silence settles between you. It’s not uncomfortable, but there’s a weight to it. With how everything had happened, how angry Thatch had been at your parents, you knew on some level that he knew. You always assumed people knew, even vaguely, what your parents were like. Your assumption had been that they assumed the same of you.

Thatch and his family hadn’t made those assumptions. His father hadn’t tossed you from his home along with your parents. His sons hadn’t made you the slightest bit uncomfortable. No one treated you like you were false and distrustful.

Despite the fact that you felt false.

You could feel the strings of your parents desires still pulling at your skin. Telling you to not want, to not desire, to not ask, to not be loud, to exist on the barest line of comprehension, putting no one out for your own needs.

To sit, quietly, prompted and moved only when acted upon.

“… Thatch?”

“Yeah, doll?”

“Can I… hold your hand again?” You ask. “I know you’re driving, but-.”

“Sure,” he says, putting his arm on the divider between the seats, palm up. “You can hold my hand whenever you want.”

You put your hand in his, marveling again at how much bigger he is compared to you. You’d been preoccupied with simply being in contact with him in the gardens, but your fingers barely reached the first set of joints after his knuckles.

Thatch presses his lips together, keeping his focus on the road. He’s certain you have no idea how much your light touches are distracting him, but he’d almost rather wreck the car than tell you to stop. You’d had such a strong wall around you when you’d first met, not one of fear, but something that made you hesitant, and he’d been trying not to push. Especially with everything else going on.

Once your hand settled in the palm of his hand, he curled his fingers, barely even touching the back of your hand. He wanted to shout out the window when you asked if you could hold his hand, but he had a feeling loud noises weren’t a good idea.

Thatch pulled into the apartment complex, and to you it looked more like an office building than anything else. The parking was inside a garage area with automatic steel doors. Thatch had handed you a key card before he picked up the duffel bags.

“We’ll need that for the elevator.” He says, closing the trunk and nodding for you to follow. “If you would be so kind.”

There’s a box just below the elevator call buttons and you tap the card against it. After the beep you hit the button, and do the same thing inside the elevator after Thatch tells you which floor to press. It’s not the top floor, but thirteen is a lot.

“Nervous?”

You nod. “It’s… very high.”

His eyes widen a little before a smile crosses his face. “It’s a pretty new building, so you don’t have to worry about much. There’s a tornado shelter that’s open if a storm makes you nervous while I’m at work, and the stairwells are effectively fire proof. There’s lots of ventilation stuff to stop backdrafts and such. It’s almost the safest place to be, I promise.”

You could feel yourself relax a little. It was unnerving to think about being up so high, but his voice was as calming as his words.

“What’s the safest place?” You question, curious about the earlier quantifier.

“Pops’ place.” Thatch answers immediately with a wide smile. “Whether it’s someone, or something, if you don’t feel safe here, go there.” His smile falters a little and he looks apologetic. “Even if it’s me you don’t feel safe around, Pops’ll protect ya’.”

The elevator dings and the doors open before you can say anything and Thatch leads you to his door. There’s only three on the floor, as far as you can tell, so it’ll be easy to go to the correct one. He stops in front of a door with 1310 on the plate.

“If the Lady of Doors would be so kind.” He prompts with a warm smile.

You beep the card and open the door, stepping in and holding it for Thatch. The apartment is easily the size of your parents house, if not a little bigger, just from what you can already see. Hardwood floors, and a clean modern design, there’s not much to it. Enough for Thatch to entertain some guests, but even if he intended to stay here for a long time, he didn’t seem to be here very often.

Couch, TV, dining table, and two hall ways came off the main area, with the kitchen closest to the door. That was the one space that looked well used, and not because it was messy or anything, but there were appliances and bowls and all manner of things organized on the counters. You were certain there was far more tucked into the cupboards.

“I’m down that hall.” He says, lifting three duffel bags toward the hall on the right. “And down this hall,” he indicates the one on the left. “Is the guest room. It’s all yours now.” He explains heading down the hallway. “There’s a bolt on the inside, and the bathroom across from it is all yours too. Oh!”

Thatch sets the bags down inside the guest room. It’s clean and minimal like the living room, but everything looks new, or near enough to new not to matter. There’s a closet and two dressers, a small vanity and a desk with space enough for a computer.

“Uh… Izou kind of…” Thatch clears his throat, and he’s having a hard time looking at you. “Went on a rampage about the stuff in your bathroom at your house. He refused to pack half of what was in there, and went out and bought stuff for you while you were sleeping.” He points to one of the bags. “It’s packed in there with instructions from Izou. He says it’ll take a fraction of the time and be even more effective, but if you want everything replaced with what you had, we can do that.”

“I, er… I… hm.” You pause, too many things going through your mind all at once. Thatch waits patiently, somehow managing to not even make you feel pressured to respond. Part of you was nervous to not have your usual routine, but a nearly equal part was relieved. Between your conversation with him, and even more so, seeing his garden, you felt that Izou would know. Whether he was an expert or not, he very likely new far more than your parents in that regard.

“I’ll give it a try first.”  

“Alright, and while Izou won’t say it, I will. Sorry for doing that to your things without asking first.” He steps back, giving you a little more space.

“No, it’s okay.” You reassure him. “I was only doing what I was told to anyway.” You murmur looking toward the bags again and trying to decide where to start.

“I… see.” Thatch clears his throat and when you look back at him he’s smiling. “Well, I can let you get started with unpacking. I’m going to prep for lunch, but if you need help with something or just want to take a break, don’t hesitate.”

You tilt your head. “Prep for lunch? It’s barely 5 a.m.”

His face dusts with pink and he looks away. “Yeah, I, uh… it gives me something to do.” He admits, clearing his throat.

“You could-.” You stop mid-sentence. He could stay and help you unpack, but a very vivid image of him holding onto a pair of your underwear while helping short circuits you. You’re going to be married, but right now you’ve known each other for barely three days. “Tu-turn on some music, if you want. It’ll make things, um, it would be nice.”

Thatch smiles. “Sure thing.”

He starts to walk away when you step in front of him. You can’t get any more embarrassed at this point, so you decide to just go for it.

“Earlier you… kissed the top of my head.” You’re looking anywhere but at him, even though you’re still facing him. Thatch starts to stammer an apology, but goes quiet when you point to your cheek. “Please, if you want.”

There’s a moment of absolute stillness between the two of you before he reaches out and wraps his hand around yours, moving it away from your cheek and keeping it carefully in his. His other hand tilts your cheek up toward him as he leans down. The touches are soft and warm, and slow and careful, less like he’s savoring the moment, and more like he’s giving you time to change your mind.

The gentle kiss against your cheek is far too fleeting, but you can feel the warmth of it lingering even as he straightens back up.

“Thank you.” You say the words quietly. You want to kiss him properly, and you aren’t sure what to do with that. You had an exceptional compatibility score, but it was all fabricated, wasn’t it? Your parents had inside help, and you’d done everything as they told you.

There was nothing about you that actually matched with him.

Thatch lifts your hand up a little, drawing your attention toward him, those green eyes holding onto your gaze so effortlessly. “My pleasure.” His words are as soft as the kiss on your cheek, soft as the warmth he presses into the top of your hand.

He runs his thumb over where he’d kissed your hand, and then clears his throat and excuses himself. He needs to prep for lunch and dinner, probably. Maybe. You have a lot to get to as well.

The room feels empty when he leaves, but a moment later you can hear music floating down the hall and into the room, and it’s a little less empty feeling. A smile slips across your lips, and you feel safe. Relaxed. You aren’t even really sure what to do with these feelings, except cherish them.

In ten minutes there were more memories in this small room than in the whole of that house. So you let yourself daydream, listening to Thatch hum along with the music as you put the clothes from the duffel bags into the places you wanted them. You were certain he was dancing, but you didn’t want to break your own groove just to see it again.

Moving aside a piece of clothing you felt something hit the bottom of the duffel bag with more weight than you’d expected. Looking into the bag you felt your stomach knot. A phone you hadn’t seen before with a note rubber-banded to it was at the bottom of the bag. There was nothing written on the outside, but you already knew who it was from.

[welightitup]

your wish is my command, so:

piarles prompt: charles noticing how much healthier and happier pierre looks in alpine ❤️💙

Hi Katie ❤️💙

Thank you for sending me this as a prompt on here - and for the corresponding gifs 🥰 They helped me stay focused, truly hehe. I hope this is kinda what you were looking for (I can't remember what we discussed really but I think this was the jist of it :P)

---

Winter break is meant to be the time where they can let go for a little while and just be themselves. They spend time with their friends and family, celebrate the holidays with loved ones, and fit in a bit of extreme training. At least in Charles and Pierre’s cases, even if one heads to the heat and the other to the cold.

But with winter testing only two weeks away, it's time for them to reluctantly get back into their regular training schedule. And that includes their diets, working out, and - as Charles stands in front of his bathroom mirror - grooming.

Not that it's essential in the grand scheme of things, but he likes a routine and it’s easier to follow something that pays off in the long run. Such as shaving off his winter stubble which will irritate the hell out of him once he’s pulled on his balaclava in the desert heat.

He’s taking the razor very carefully down his jawline when a pair of arms slip around his waist, warm and slightly damp from the shower.

“Why are you shaving?” Pierre asks, sounding almost offended.

“I have to. You know I get annoyed, and then you get annoyed that I’m annoyed,” Charles reminds him. It’s a predictable event; the sweat from the heat will irritate his skin, which will lead him to scratch endlessly at his face, leaving him with red marks and an eventual breakout of spots. Throughout it all, he will complain loudly about it to Pierre.

Who’s answer is always to “just shave”, in complete contrast to today.

“But you’re keeping the rest of it?” Pierre checks as he noses gently at Charles’ bare shoulder, droplets of water that had previously been clinging to his hair falling onto his dry skin and working its way down his chest until it meets the towel around his hips.

“For now,” Charles replies, huffing when he tries to tilt his head only to bump into Pierre’s. Knowing telling him to move would only keep him there longer, Charles sighs instead and lowers his arm to gaze at the reflection of the top of Pierre’s head in the mirror. “What about you?”

Pierre rubs his cheek playfully against Charles’ neck, the rough hair of his beard ticklish and eliciting a giggle out of him at the action. There will be a questionable mark there once he’s dressed, but given the nature of their relationship, Charles is sure this is probably the most innocent reason for it.

That is until Pierre starts to press kisses to the column of his neck before nuzzling in. Usually, the sweet gesture would warm Charles, but recently he has learnt that Pierre does it a moment before he carefully bites at his skin, nipping until the bruise forms within the beard - and the newly formed moustache - burn.

“Stop!” Charles tries to chastise, only to come out with a bubble of laughter instead. He feels Pierre laugh against his shoulder as he slowly retreats, keeping his lips pressed against Charles’ skin even as he peers up with his striking blue eyes to catch his own through the mirror.

“Hmm, I think I’ll keep it,” Pierre eventually answers his question. Charles raises his eyebrows without thinking, surprised at his words. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Charles quickly replies, schooling his features to look more neutral with a softer smile. 

It’s not that Charles has anything against the moustache that Pierre now sports, a new addition that Charles only got to see with his own two eyes after they had returned from their independent winter training. But rather the fact that Pierre has chosen to grow one now, the moment he is free of AlphaTauri and Red Bull, when he has failed to do so in the entire time they have known each other.

Which, Charles knows Pierre would deny if ever asked, he can now tell were directly related. It isn’t a secret how much of a toll driving for either team had taken on Pierre, physically and mentally. If it wasn’t the subpar car, then it was the borderline abusive treatment in the top team, and the absolute disregard to his health.

So, regardless of Charles’ personal thoughts about Pierre’s new found ability to grow even more hair, the reason behind it is what reassures him that moving to Alpine will benefit more than just Pierre’s career, and that’s enough reason for it to stay.

Well, that and the way Alpine and its owner and Team Principal seem to absolutely adore Pierre, and have put him at ease, making the transfer as seamless as possible. 

Not to mention the new personal coach who no longer keeps Pierre on the strictest diet Charles had ever seen, or insists on the horrid glucose monitor that had started endless fights between the two of them.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts to focus on the present instead, Charles shrugs instead and laughs when the movement unsettles Pierre from his position. “It’s just different, that’s all.”

“You like it though,” Pierre states confidently. Charles rolls his eyes even though his words do actually ring true.

“I like you,” Charles retorts, avoiding the question and further inflating his boyfriend’s ego. The internet has already done wonders for it as it is without him having to add to it. “The extra facial hair is just a bonus.”

“Uh-huh,” Pierre merely hums, smirking. He steps out from behind Charles and to his side, running a hand over his chin and tapping at his mouth dramatically for a second. “I like it. I’m going to keep it.”

“Okay. As long as you’re happy,” Charles tells him earnestly, because at the end of that day, that is all he ever wants for him.

“I am very happy. And I will be even happier once we go get some lunch,” Pierre tells him. The mere mention of food after the gym session they had had that morning is enough to set Charles’ stomach rumbling almost instantly.

Charles raises his razor once again, intent on finishing up with his shaving before he forgets and heads out with an asymmetrical look that will somehow end up on social media in seconds. 

“You still want to go to the café by Maman’s salon?” It’s a small shop with a limited menu, but they have been going there since they were kids who were rarely allowed to be left alone for more than 15 minutes at a time.

“Yes, always,” Pierre says before pressing a soft kiss to his already-shaven cheek.  “I am starving. Hurry up, okay?”

Grinning, Charles nods. “Okay. Two more minutes.”

---

It's barely hitting midnight but they’re already in bed, intent on adjusting their circadian rhythm to match their on-season schedules, and not stay up until 4am out partying. Or playing Call of Duty. Or having sex. 

They hadn’t had much of a busy day outside of their morning gym session and dinner with his family, which is likely the reason why Charles is still laying awake whilst Pierre has already succumbed to sleep. It is usually the other way around, with Pierre spending the time before bed catching up with his social media or text messages whereas Charles is asleep the minute his head hits the pillow.

At least it gives him the chance to take Pierre in as he sleeps; an opportunity he rarely gets.

Twisting into his side, Charles mirrors Pierre’s position so he can see him better. 

He looks peaceful, is the first thought that comes to Charles’ mind. Brow smooth, eyelids still, and the ghost of a smile curving at his lips. It is a far cry from the uneasy restlessness and nightmares Charles has witnessed over the years. The days of insomnia, the dark eye circles, and the endless number of fitful nights when sleep finally did come. 

Reaching out, Charles skims his fingertips over the side of Pierre’s face, just allowing the grown hairs to prickle at his touch. Pierre’s nose scrunches up adorably at the action, and Charles grins at the instant reaction. 

Trailing his finger down Pierre’s nose instead, he watches as it twitches slightly before smoothing out. He nuzzles gently into his pillow, lips parting in a soft sigh as he does so. 

Charles can’t help but to shift closer, moving his hand down as he minimises the space between them. Brushing over Pierre’s shoulder, Charles once again breathes a sigh of relief when his exploratory touch doesn’t find the foreign, plastic circle that had become a reluctantly familiar protrusion pressing into his palm whenever Charles had reached out for Pierre by the bicep. It had even gotten to the point where he would actively avoid grabbing at his upper arms, unknown as to which would be wearing the glucose monitor, and knowing he could never adjust his response to finding it quick enough for Pierre to not see. 

Subconsciously having started to dig his fingers into Pierre’s arm at the memory, gripping onto him as if to keep this version with him - the relaxed, happier, healthier version - even though there is no current threat to take him away from him, Charles isn’t surprised when Pierre starts to stir. 

“Shh, go back to sleep,” he murmurs, rubbing his hand along the length of his arm and eventually landing on his chest. He can feel rather than see Pierre inhale deeply; a sure sign that he is more on this side of awake than not. 

“Why are you feeling me up?” Pierre asks, slurring slightly with the fog of sleepiness, and yet still managing to insert a hint of humour to his words. 

Scowling though he is sure Pierre cannot make it out through his heavy blinks, Charles scoffs and shoves him in the chest. “I am not! Shut up and go back to sleep.”

“No, no. I’m awake now,” Pierre says, a smirk tugging at his lips when his eyes finally meet Charles’ in the dimness of the bedroom. “What were you doing?”

“Cuddling you,” Charles lies, making a show to grab at Pierre’s wrist to lift his arm and place it over his own waist to cover up. 

“Hmm, okay,” Pierre hums, unconvinced but playful. He leaves his arm where it now lays but allows his hand to wander slowly south until Charles raises an eyebrow at his obvious move.

“Now who’s feeling who up?” Charles asks dryly, huffing when Pierre merely uses the hand that is now resting on his ass to pull him further into him.

Pierre copies his actions and raises his own eyebrow at him. “You want me to stop? It doesn’t feel like you do,” he says pointedly before shifting his hips exaggeratedly to emphasise Charles’ natural bodily reaction to Pierre’s crudely sensuous touch.

Trying to bite back the smile that threatens to break out on his face, Charles settles for a glare that carries no heat whatsoever and only lasts for a couple of seconds before breaking. He’s never been able to resist Pierre’s advances, and especially not whilst he is smirking at him with one perfectly shaped eyebrow arched.

“I love you,” Charles says in between silent giggles, pressing his forehead against Pierre’s, who laughs softly at his confession.

“Wow, I haven’t even done anything yet,” Pierre teases, laughing harder when Charles groans and tries to roll away.

“You’re the worst, Pierre. I’m telling you I love you and you just laugh at me,” Charles grumbles half-heartedly, not even fighting Pierre when he keeps him in place.

“I love you, too,” Pierre replies placatingly, before adding, “And I always laugh at you.”

Sighing, Charles settles back into his pillow and observes Pierre closely. “You laugh a lot more nowadays,” he notes lightly.

Pierre nods, the smirk transforming into a gentle smile instead. “Things are a lot better now.”

“A lot lighter, yes? Freeing?” Charles checks.

“A lot brighter,” Pierre assures him with a gentle squeeze around the waist. 

Charles is under no impression that Pierre doesn't understand how much it means to him to see him do so much better now he has officially left Red Bull clutches. He doesn’t need to say the words for him to know how important of a factor the move to Alpine has been in the overall scheme of things.

“Good. It will be a good year for you, I can tell,” Charles informs Pierre, leaving no room for argument with his adamant tone. It brings out another bout of silent laughter from Pierre.

“You can, can you?” Pierre asks suggestively, shifting to lean up ever-so-slightly onto his elbow and hover over Charles. He slips a leg between Charles’, brushing his toes against the sole of his foot that makes him squirm more from the tickles than the intimate position they’re in. “Can you tell what’s going to happen to me now?”

“You will crawl under the covers and push me onto my back,” Charles states confidently even in his breathless voice.

“Sounds more like a demand than a prediction,” Pierre laughs but follows through nonetheless, using his weight to slowly roll Charles onto his back. “You’re right though. I am.”

Charles grins self-satisfyingly into the dark as Pierre crawls down his body and slowly disappears under the sheets, his own smirk stuck in place. 

“I’m always right,” Charles says smugly before all words are stolen out of his mouth by Pierre’s own skillful one.

[hauntedhokage]

As You Wish, Captain

Kakashi Hatake/F!Reader

Summary: Kakashi comes home to return the favor to his favorite Captain. Part 2 to Yes, Lord Hokage. Cross Posted to AO3

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: soft!dom Kakashi, dom/sub dynamics, bathtub fingering, this is mostly just aftercare with a little bit of spice at the end

Masterlist | Requests are open!

Being the Hokage didn’t exactly come with a set schedule, but Kakashi was still later than he usually was. You know better than to worry about him, the man was more than capable of holding his own in a fight and knew how to send for reinforcements if they were needed. There really was no need to worry, so you don’t. Instead you make sure his dinner is plated and ready for him, and put on some tea for yourself. You weren’t sure what he had planned for tonight and wanted to make sure that you were relaxed.

A bath would’ve been a good idea, though. But it was too late now, you wanted to see him walk through the door so you knew what kind of mood he’d been put into after you’d left.

There’s a knock on your door, and you frown into your cup before setting it down, curious as to who would be knocking on your door at this hour. Maybe something had happened? That wouldn’t be fun to deal with, since that would put you in a mood. 

Instead of an antsy Shikamaru or another Anbu, it’s the Hokage standing on your doorstep. Stripped of his robes and holding a single flower, the sight bringing a smile onto your face as you meet his gaze.

“Good evening, Lord Hokage,” you greet, stepping back into your home to allow him to enter, and accepting the flower he hands you as he walks by you. “A rose this time?”

“Well, Captain, this morning there were a few things left unattended to and I intend to apologize for that.”

“I’m not sure I follow,” you admit softly, placing the rose in the vase with the other flowers he’d brought home to you this week. “We both came, and I wasn’t hurt, so what was missing?”

“We didn’t really check in during our event or afterwards, and I’m sorry. I’d like to take care of you tonight, if you’d allow it, Captain.” A pause, and you look over your shoulder to see that he’s already stripped of his gear and stands before you in just his shirt and pants. “Would you like a bath?”

“A bath would be nice,” you confirm with a smile, letting him pull you back towards the bathroom. “As for the debrief, really it was all fine. I know you wouldn’t intentionally hurt me, or let someone see us like that without making sure it was okay first.”

He lets out a soft hum, pointing to the toilet and nodding when you close the lid and sit down. Your hands hold one of his while his other hand works to turn on the faucet in the tub to ready your bath, your thumbs massaging at his palm as you watch him. He doesn’t pull his hand from yours, instead moving his body around you so he could ready your bath soap without needing to let you go.

He does pull his hand from yours as the tub fills, but only so he could pull you to your feet to undress you. The t-shirt you’d changed into in pulled over your head, and his eye meets yours with a knowing look when he sees that you weren’t wearing a bra or any other binding to hide your breasts from him, then his hands are on your chest so he could hold them.

“You wear too much armor when you give your mission reports, I’d like to see these more when you’re in my office.” The thought has you biting your lip, unintentionally stifling your gasp when the rough pads of his thumbs roll over your nipples. “I suppose the armor is necessary to protect you, but you’d look wonderful fighting nude I’m sure.” 

“Perhaps we could spar some time and put that to the test,” you suggest, smiling when he looks back up at you. “You need to keep your captain in top form, Lord Hokage.”

His hands move from your chest to drag down your sides, pushing the loose fitting pants (that you must’ve taken from his drawer) and your underwear down your hips when he got to the waistband. He drops to his knees as your pants fall, helping you to step out of them before bringing one of your legs to drape over his shoulder. 

“I didn’t give you proper attention before treating you so roughly, Captain, and I apologize.” His mask is lowered, and you watch with wide eyes as he peppers your lips in gentle kisses. “I’m sure you’re a bit sore?”

You were, but it was manageable so you didn’t think it was worth complaining about. After all, he’d put you in rougher positions than that and you were put through unimaginable situations as an Anbu Black Op - rough sex with the Hokage wasn’t exactly the worst thing you’d ever endured. 

“Honesty, Captain,” he requests, and you nod as your hand pushes into his hair as he continues to kiss at your cunt.

“A l-little sore, yeah, but nothing I can’t handle. You know I’m tough.” Your reasoning doesn’t do much to ease his concern if the way he sighs is any indicator. But the tub was full, and he’s ensuring you are balanced on your two feet before he turns the faucet off so he can help you into the warm bubble filled water. 

The warmth does wonders for your sore body, the aches and pains associated with long missions spent with tense muscles needing some sort of relief if your Hokage’s hand was not providing it and were so very different from the ache in your pussy from your Hokage’s treatment this morning. He seems pleased by the comforted sigh that leaves you, which has you smiling as he leans against the side of the tub. His sleeves are pushed up to his elbows now, one hand holding his chin as he watches you relax into the porcelain. You wished you could be inside his head for just a moment when he looked at you; what did he think about when he watched you like this? When he was making you cry because he was so big and you were so small in comparison? When he was being mean?

“What are you thinking about?”

“Wondering what you might be thinking about when you look at me like that,” you comment, earning a quirked brow from the man who was looking at you so intently. “And when you’re being mean, or when you see me cry, what do you think about?”

“Watching you right now, I’m questioning whether or not I take good care of you, wondering if I’m worthy of the way you look at me with such adoration.” That has you adjusting so that you sat on your knees in the tub, able to lean forward so you were nose-to-nose with the concerned Kage. “When you’re crying…hm, I mostly think about how cute you look when I make you cry if it’s because of how my cock can stretch your cute little pussy. When I’m being mean, and you’re pouting up at me like the petulant child you can be despite your accomplished rank, I’m thinking about how much fun we’re going to have while I’m teaching you a lesson. In short; I think only good things for you, my dear.”

“Kakashi,” you whisper, your wet fingers gently trailing along his jaw as you smile at him. “You do take good care of me, y’know.”

“Do I?” You don’t answer, only scoop bubbles into your hand to hold in front of him as an example. This time he’s smiling, blowing at the bubbles so they’ll fall out of your hand. “I suppose if I didn’t, we wouldn’t be here. You’re more than capable of taking care of yourself, telling me to get lost wouldn’t be an issue.”

You nod your agreement, your hands closing around his forearm and giving a gentle tug towards you. You wanted him in the bathtub with you, mostly to get the cuddles you were owed after your performance this morning. The additional benefit of him being naked with you was only minor in comparison to physical contact you wanted. 

You don’t need to ask twice; he’s pulling his shirt over his head and standing so he could remove his pants before you’d even think you’d need to. You scoot to the side to make room for him, but once he’s seated you’re in his lap with your head laid back on his shoulder as his hands settle on your stomach. You’re both quiet for a moment, your hands busy with the bubbles as Kakashi relaxes behind you, but that moment ends with your small gasp as his fingers part your folds.

“May I?”

“You may.” Your consent has him humming, kissing behind your ear as his fingers start to rub around your clit and through your folds but not quite making contact with either spot that would make you react more. You weren’t sure that you could handle more than just his fingers, but you weren’t sure that you’d need to if your lover’s languid movements were any indicator. Kakashi’s fingers inside you were slow and gentle, not working to stretch you like he would if he was preparing you for his cock, which to you meant that he just wanted to help you relax after the morning he’d given you. 

“You did really well this morning, I thought about you all day after you left.” His praise has you smiling against his cheek, your eyes closing as he presses his thumb to your clit. “I don’t think I’d be able to stretch you more tonight, since I got myself off a couple more times after you left.”

“In your office?”

He hums, and you feel yourself clench around his fingers at the thought of him like that. Leaned back in his comfortable chair, pants undone just enough to free the impressive erection, as his hand worked the length. His eyes were probably closed, lip caught between his teeth to help him keep quiet so as to not alert anyone on the other side of the doors to his activity. 

“Both times thinking about how perfectly I fit in your mouth this morning, and how good for me you were under my desk. How wonderfully tight your pussy was, my hand can’t compare but I did what I needed to do.”

“Why not summon me back?”

“I didn’t want you thinking you were in trouble. After such a tough mission you didn’t need that stress too.” Another press to your clit, this one has your mouth opening against his face as you let out a small whine, your hips rising into his hand in search of more friction. “But it seems my fingers will be more than enough for you tonight, isn’t that right?”

[smoosnoom]

Hi Moon!! I hope your essay went well. I just wanted to write u a lil somethin' cause you've been rly helpful and supportive the past lil bit while I sort my brain out and I finally have like a rough draft/outline thingy for a story because of u but like I just wanted to give you something nice to wake up to! :D Who knows, maybe I'll put it in a whole story some day. I'm not like a writer or anything but I'm trying! I'm learning Evolving, even! All right. Onto the good stuff.

---

Mike's soft puffs of air waft in a rhythmic pattern across Will's neck. His warm presence rests heavy against Will's chest, his lanky limbs strewn haphazardly along Will's entire form. Will's been awake longer than he'd care to admit, stuck beneath the man glued to his side. Mike always sleeps in on the weekend, and frankly, Will can't blame him. Finally having a day off after all the work and school that gets piled onto them everyday would have anyone exhausted. Anyone except Will, who can nearly never get a good nights sleep. He likes to believe he still gets a decent amount of rest, laying here, limbs tangled and sweaty with Mike Wheeler sleeping pressed up against him, entirely too close and not at all close enough.

Will cards his fingers through Mike's hair and gets no response. He leans close and places a feather light kiss to his forehead before leaning down and pressing his own forehead against Mike's. "Hey," he says, just above a whisper. Mike stirs a bit, and before he knows it, he feels Mike tense and stretch out, shaking and gripping Will's shirt. He lets out a loud groan before settling back in, curling his knees up even higher and curling in tighter against Will's side. "Mm, mornin'," Mike mutters through his thick, scratchy morning voice. Will places another kiss atop Mike's head and smiles gently against his hair. "Morning, sunshine." Mike huffs out a laugh under his breath and snuggles up under Will's jaw. "Shut it, early bird," Will wraps his arms tighter around Mike and tugs, squeezing him ever closer. "Can't have you sleeping all morning now, can I? You'll be up all night otherwise." "Mm," Mike answers back noncommittedly. Mike's not worried about it, Will knows this, but he still attempts to keep them on some semblance of a schedule. "What's the plan for today, Mr. Wise?" Mike cracks an eye open to catch the grin forming on Will's face. "You know, I was thinking," Will starts, and stops. He swishes the words around in his mouth as he trails his fingertips along the length of Mike's arm. It causes a small shiver to run up Mike's spine. "I was thinking we could go to the movies, maybe? It's been a while since we've just, like, went on a date or whatever..." Will trails off, hesitant, still a bit unsure about calling what they've been doing lately, dating.

Like, yes. They sleep in the same bed, eat breakfast together, and spend basically all their time together. But they did that before they were, like, dating. Or whatever this is. And sure, maybe they share clothes occasionally, when Mike can fit into one of Will's hoodies that actually reaches his wrists, and Will can find a shirt of Mike's that can fit over his shoulders, although it still tugs much too tight against his frame, but Mike always says it looks good. Really, really good. Will can't help the heat that rushes to his face whenever Mike gives him one of his much too sincere complements. He's been complementing him more lately. Much more.

Will thinks Mike isn't even aware he's doing it half the time. The way he looks at Will with those deep, dark eyes, intense but soft around the edges. His expression makes Will's heart feel like it's oozing out of his ribcage, pooling in his stomach and resting heavy like a warm, homecooked meal. But that doesn't mean they're dating. They never made it official, technically. It's not like they're, like, boyfriends or anything. Except, like, they kiss now. So that's something. Something friends definitely don't do. And Will would know. They used to be friends. The best of friends, even. Still are, probably. Just. More, now. Maybe. He thinks. Will might be a bit confused about the whole thing, to be completely honest. "Will?" Will looks down to see Mike staring lazily up at him. He may or may not have been spacing out, and Mike may or may not have noticed. "Huh?" "I said, that sounds nice." A smirk pulls at the corner of his lips and he leans up, onto his elbow before bring his other arm to trap Will against the pillow where his head rests. Mike looms half his body over Will, his hair tickling at Will's jaw. Will swallows, still nervous and a bit giddy at the prospect of his last train of thought rapidly coming to fruition. Mike leans in and catches Will's bottom lip between his, swiping his tongue across it and nibbling ever so gently on it. Will's eyes flutter shut, and he brings a hand up to tangle in Mike's hair.

They kiss back and forth for a moment, open mouthed, but slow and unhurried. Will feels lightheaded. When Mike pulls away his eyes are hooded and he has a dazed look about him. A grin breaks out across his face and he leans in to land a quick kiss to Will's cheek. Will may or may not be a bit over the moon at this reaction. "We should get going, before it gets too late for our date." Mike waggles his eyebrows at him, and Will can't help the bubble of laughter that falls from his mouth. "Right. Yeah." His voice cracks, throat dry from being kissed breathless. "So, Mike, I've been meaning to ask you..." He starts, not wanting to ruin the moment, but really needing the clarity. "Does this mean we're actually, like, together, together?" He glances to the side, nervous. Mike raises his eyebrows at him, then tilts his head in the cutest display of confusion Will has ever seen. "As opposed to . . .?" He trails off, genuinely not understanding at all what Will is asking.

"I dunno, like, are we..." Will might be panicking a little bit. The grip in Mike's hair tightens a fraction, and if Mike's eyes roll into the back of his head, Will's not going to tease him about it now, not when he needs this answer. His fingers loosen their grip and and he cards them through his hair, and if Mike's eyes fall shut for longer than your average blink, well that might just be Will's overactive imagination. "Are we Boyfriends?"

Mike's eyes shoot open, and lets out a kind of garbled, twisted laugh in the back of his throat. "Uh, Will, what do you think we've been doing these last few weeks?" The blush that sits on Will's face could cook an egg, probably. He shrugs as much as he can, given the lack of available space, and tries his best to keep hold of some dignity. "I guess I just wanted to be sure, is all."

Mike smiles a lopsided, dopey smile at him. He shakes his head, and a breathy laugh falls from his lips. "Unbelievable, Will Byers. Did you think I'd be making out or going on dates with anyone other than my boyfriend?"

Will feels a thrill run through him at the pointed use of the word boyfriend, and how easy it sounds coming off of Mike's lips. And maybe he's a little lovestruck, but how can he not be, with the love of his life calling him his boyfriend? Will grins wide and blinding before sliding his hand to the back of Mike's neck and pulling him down into a too needy and too urgent kiss. They laugh into it as he tightens his hold on Mike's waist and pulls him down on top of him. So, yeah. Maybe they're dating.

---

Sorry if this is weird or makes no sense or messed up grammatically I'm so tired and delirious rn going to bed good night, Moon sweet dreams!! (I'm so nervous I never share my work but I told myself I wouldn't sleep till I finished this and I can't save it for tomorrow cause I have stuff to do so. There it is!! Wringing my hands and panicking but also satisfied cause I finsihed a thing and ur really nice so even if it sucsk you'll rpobably be nice anyway ok loli'm spiraling goodnight, moon, goodnightcowjumpingoverthemoon)

hello !!! im so sorry for taking literally forever to reply, especially since u stayed up to finish it oh my god but ! im replying now !!!

oohhhhhh h my go d . this was so so cute !!!!!! i think u totally and absolutely are selling urself short because i did very much enjoy this :) its short and incredibly sweet, i love the peek into of their domestic, less significant moments, and will's uncertainty to where they stand with each other, it's so real and so so sweet to see in him being so nervous to ask yet mike's unwavering Yes of course we're boyfriends . who else am i making out with WHICH IS SOSOOOO CUTE

and ! i think u do a great job of describing things, how certain movements and touches make them feel, and i loveeeeed ur dscription in "Will's heart feel like it's oozing out of his ribcage, pooling in his stomach and resting heavy like a warm, homecooked meal." likeeeeee . ooozing out of his ribcage . pooling in his stomach . resting like a homecooked meal Oh ur crazy that is so lovely so so pleasant ! it paints a perfect picture of the domestic, warm feeling the entire setting is exuding, the kind u get from a warm home and with company that u trust with food that u know tastes good and satisfies . what a good sentence

they have great chemistry and i was very much interested in the entire thing :) my only comment is that u should Definitely hold some more confidence in ur writing, it definitely doesnt suck and i do not blame u for spiraling But . this is good . this is great . i was invested and u closed it all up so nicely, a full-circle one-liner to wrap it all up with a nice bow !!! "so yeah, maybe theyre dating" . a good conclusion to the story, which me personally im always rly harsh on LOL i love a good closing that makes the entire story feels complete, which u did well :)

anyway ! im so sorry to take forever on getting to this, i really hope u could forgive me and u didnt drive urself wild oh my god i rly hope u didnt !!!! im so sorry !

thank u so much for sending such a sweet thing into my inbox, i appreciate it so much :) <3

[dyrewrites]

Seven Snippets, Seven People

@autumnalwalker tagged me for this delightful thing.

Rules; Post 7 snippets and tag 7 people

So, I am tagging; @rmgrey-author @ruinmegently @starbuds-and-rosedust @pb-dot @stesierra @tryingtimi @desastreus and leaving it OPEN...because that's just fun to do.

All of my snips are from Pale Blood, because it's on the brain again.

Snip One, from Chapter Five

“Oh no, I’m not done with you yet,” Den explained as he climbed over and settled into the small space in front of Delmas. “It would be a crime to waste such a cuddly physique.” Delmas stared at the mess of hair splayed across his chest and into the smiling face it belonged to but the words and the actions refused to connect, “you want to cuddle?” “You make a perfect big spoon,” Den said, pulling away enough to gather his hair into a more convenient position. “Oh, do I,” Delmas stated more than asked and Den laughed, short and quiet as he wriggled closer. It was an intimate gesture, which wasn’t something that happened, at least not to Delmas. When he sought the distraction of another it was rough, anonymous and detached. It was an unspoken agreement for a one time engagement. That was the whole point. To forget the day, to let go of the worries carried, not pick up more. What Den suggested with his tone, with his body language—with his soft cooing and the gentle way he snuggled closer and arranged Delmas’ arms around his shoulders—was a desire for more. A desire he did not reflect but the closeness was comforting. “Alright,” He conceded, “I guess we can cuddle.” Den giggled, pressing closer and sending shivers through them both. The heat of his skin, and the steady pulse beneath it, bubbled the next into a hungry wave and Delmas wrapped his arms tighter and edged closer. “Cuddle,” Den repeated, but there was a purr beneath it and a wiggle in his hips. Delmas considered chasing that wiggle with one of his own, of whispering for more but he hesitated. Someone to hold so close, so quiet, may not have been what he’d wanted when he carried Den to the room but in that embrace he found the want for it—the need. Den fit so well in his arms, so easy to hold. He was warm, he was comfortable and Delmas closed his eyes and curled tighter around him. He hadn’t realized how tired he’d been, but that closeness drew it out and the comfort melted the tension still lingering in his muscles.

Snip Two from Chapter Six

Deliveries—at least the regular, scheduled ones that weren’t for special occasions—were picked up at the backdoor on Som’s day, at the peak of the afternoon, every week. That’s how it had been for close to a decade, ever since the fangs switched bloodrunners to one who refused to open his eyes before the suns did or interact with a single thrall working the dayshift.  Which was one of the reasons that Ron glared from the oval window of the bloobank’s backdoor. The other reason was because the fang in question was not only there at the wrong time, on the wrong day, he also wasn’t alone. He’d brought a friend; a slender young friend, with skin the color of burnt amber and eyes of pale fire. And that friend hung on Delmas like an ill-fitting suit.  Delmas shrugged and flashed his most innocent smile.  Ron continued to glare. “C’mon, Ron, I can see you in there,” Delmas pleaded through the speaker, “I’m not asking for a whole box, just a bag, one single bag.” “Why, is the one hanging off you not good enough?” Ron’s voice crackled back, irritation clear despite the static of the archaic tech. Delmas glanced at his friend, then back to Ron and grimaced. Oh, now he gets it, Ron chided, keeping it close—he was upset, jealous even, but he didn’t have to admit it out loud. “This is Den,” Delmas explained, “and I’ll be more than happy to introduce you when the boss isn’t on the brink of being an afternoon snack.” That was worth considering. Delmas wouldn’t make up stories about the boss, at least not without more color in them. Ron sighed and threw the switch. 

Snip Three from Chapter Seven

The cats padding to her side and scrambling up the couch were little comfort against the crushing realization that she was alone, utterly alone. Odea did not socialize, the fear of discovery by her coven was too great a deterrent, but it had never bothered her. She was content alone, with her cats and her job but the Wylds demanded more. Its capricious rulers didn’t allow solitary visitors. They accepted entry in threes, no more, no less—and she would learn that these were not rules of the Goddesses’ making, but ones of safety that came with far greater caveats. KB purred louder in her lap, pressing his little paws into her thigh, and Odea focused on the vibration of him—on the softness of his fur. Kiki was warm against her leg, the weight of her felt on the cushion and Odea wanted to lose herself in that moment. To escape the dread bubbling fiercer in her stomach and disappear into their simple, gentle love. “You would walk into that madness with me,” She whispered to KB as Kiki nuzzled into her knee, drawing her hands to her furry head, “you both would, wouldn’t you?” And, if she hadn’t feared for their safety in the wild, hungry woods, she would take them. They were her true friends, after all, her only friends.  Or are they? The thought was slow, quiet and mingled with heavy doubt. She had another; one not covered in fur or reliant on her for food and shelter. He had even displayed respect, affection and, recently, genuine concern. Better still he had magic in him, for what else could keep him whole despite what he admitted to being.  Odea sighed and laid back to stare at the ceiling, wincing at the pointy weight of cat feet on her chest and stomach, “I could never ask him.” But she would.

Snip Four from Chapter Eight

“You know the answers he wants,” Delmas whispered, his voice gentle, calming. He didn’t know what was going on in Den’s mind—he could hear what went on in most, but wolves were all raw, howling emotion and their thoughts couldn’t shout loud enough over it for a halfie like him to understand—but he had to settle whatever was building and he had to do it before Nash woke up. “We don’t need Nash.” Den closed his eyes to that voice, held the arms draped over him but the smile on his lips didn’t reach his tone, “but Nash needs this.” “Yeah, I’m getting that.” Delmas held him tighter, leaning to nuzzle his face into Den’s neck. “And, on any other day, I’d be more than happy to cage the bastard and poke him with sharp sticks until he cried for mommy…but this is different.” “He knows more than I do about what mother wants,” Den lied—he tried, anyway, and to his credit he was a masterful liar but lies didn’t work so well on fangs. “Cute,” Delmas said and he kissed his neck, then his cheek and let him go. “You keep your secrets then, I don’t need to know everything.” He stepped up to the cage and gestured to the groaning wolf in man’s flesh just starting to sit up. “But you need to know that Bosch isn’t going to poke him with sharp sticks. He’s not going to ask questions and toss witch’s tears on him either. He’s going to take things from him, out of him, until there’s nothing left he can use. Does he need that?”

Snip Five from Chapter Nine

His eyes were shining, glaring in familiar reds, recording her as she watched them. They were still eyes, soft and wet and weak, and she could see more of him through their burn than his fancy lenses ever could of her. All of his years played in her mind, flashing in nanoseconds. Odea watched his first memories of his mother, a blurry beige splotch that sang with the colors of love and warmth. She watched his first steps, his first fall, and every subsequent trip and bump and bruise. He was cut on a hover-cycle and never rode one again. Then, when he was fifteen, he helped an elderly man move his belongings from one apartment to another, and pocketed a priceless heirloom. That was his first theft. Odea’s eyes jittered and her skin beaded with fresh sweat as more memories of his thefts poured into her. They were petty nothings, every one, without a cred left to show for any of them. “Pathetic,” Odea repeated, digging deeper, further, “Your life, your hopes, your dreams, all of it. But maybe your death will lift you, make you more than you are…” Dusk guide me, she begged her magic, dull and fluttering from disuse. Her Sisters had found her already, there were no reasons left to hide, to ignore the power sparking in her blood. So she pressed it into his skin, ignoring the crackle of tendons beneath her grip and the purple light bursting in the corners of her vision. Her palms burned with the effort and the man whined and whimpered and then she found it; his death. “Two weeks, five hours and thirty-seven minutes,” she told him, dropping his wrists and stepping back to retrieve his mask. His hands shook too much to accept it and, with an unearned gentleness, she replaced the rebreather and latched it into place. “From a nanovirus, in your lenses,” she added and as she spun to continue her walk, she called back, “Even your death is pathetic.”

Snip Six from Chapter Ten

“Renna,” she whispered to the eye; the strange Sister she had not known but who’d known her. There was more in that eye, more in the sensation of it on her skin. Daughter Dusk had touched it, from the stretched distance between city and barrier, between barrier and Dusk’s barren domain the Goddess had reached through the eye in Odea’s fingers. The unknown Sister had broken into Odea’s home, sacrificed her flesh–the use of a precious organ–to send the message, to allow their shared Goddess a mouth from which to speak. And she did not leave empty-handed. Odea smiled as she released the magic, banishing the broken memories, but she did not look from the eye. She held its dead gaze. “So it was you who took my Kiki, not Dusk,” she spoke to it, her voice sharp and deep. Daughter Dusk she would have to meet with, it was inevitable, but if the Goddess had meant to intimidate her further she had sorely miscalculated. The eye was still warm, its magic sparking. Renna had to be nearby, if not in the apartment then in the city–in the slums. She could not have made it to the barrier, not with so great a wound to heal, and Odea would find her before she did. KB pawed at her leg and rubbed against her knee. “Oh, don’t worry,” she soothed him. “We’ll get our Kiki back. Dusk may not bleed or break…” Odea held the eye tighter in her palm, tightening her fingers around it, tighter and tighter…until it popped. “But her Sisters do.”

Snip Seven from Chapter Eleven (is all character descriptions >.>)

Chaos puffed from the bloodbank as the glass doors slid open, the discordant voices within were loud and confused and Odea winced as she entered. There were men she didn’t recognize standing around the counter, around Ron, and one bore a striking resemblance to a far paler version of a holo-boxer her mother used to fawn over nicknamed “The Mountain”–and it would delight her to learn he was one in the same, but she never would; Delmas held his past closer than others held breaths. Odea gaped at him, at the rough leather coat, at his dark patchy beard and the mouse brown hair obscuring his eyes, and she knew–if for a brief moment, a second of clarity–the color of those eyes. That she had seen them, known them, and known him. But it was brief, fleeting, and replaced by irritation at the way the man was speaking to Ron. He didn’t tower over him, as he would her, but he was still taller and his presence far too intimidating. Yet Ron was not frightened. He didn’t shrink from the man’s shadow; he glared up at it, into it, daring those hidden eyes with the bright blues of his own. That’s when she saw the other man, shorter than Ron and the mountain, yet still likely to tower over her. He was slender, with smooth, soft features and hair longer than hers had ever been, offset by broad shoulders and sinewy limbs–Odea clothed herself in layers, covering every stitch of skin, but Den preferred to show as much as was legal and so she had plenty to study. The way he stood, protectively beside the other, spoke of a power beyond the gentle façade he presented. Then he noticed her and his eyes, so fierce and bright, burned into her own and Odea gasped. She couldn't help it, though she felt foolish after, when he smiled and his eyes shined.

[kyofsonder]

Find the Word

I was tagged by @saltysupercomputer to find a given set of words in my writing and tag others to keep the game going. Thank you for the tag, and the chance to play my favorite writeblr game!

My Words: pen, nature, ecstatic, cold, down

I'll tag: @aohendo, @crypticcodexcreations, @eli-writes-sometimes, @on-noon, @writingpotato07, and as always anyone who wants to join in can use the following words and say I tagged them!

Your Words: explain, answer, scheme, avoid, dismiss

Also as always, the excerpts themselves are under a cut so they don't take up too much space on people's dashes.

I found pen in my novel WIP "Apricots":

"Do you keep any note paper around here? A pen? Do you just type everything, and do I have to borrow your phone or something?"

"There are note cards and pencils by the teapot, same as always. I haven't moved them since the last time you came over. Are you okay?" Ian starts to get up to show him where they are, but Noah impatiently gestures for him to stay. Noah's legs are a little longer than Ian's, anyway, so the strides he makes across the apartment get him to the kitchen and back in barely any time at all. He complains along the way, mumbling things to himself that Ian can't understand, but there isn't a chance to ask him if those mumblings are important or not before a stack of lined notecards is being slammed down onto the coffee table and a cup full of pencils slides in right next to them.

I found nature in a rough draft of a short story titled "A Question of Time":

"That's better. Now. I am a piece of time itself. I am a cog wasp. You who have plucked time from the air and set it before you in a makeshift chair in a summoning circle. You who have asked for the knowledge of the world from a piece of its own sprawling existence. Ask your question once more, and time will answer," it speaks formally this time, as if greeting him properly for the first time. Was its slightly flippant yet refined nature before not how it's supposed to act when summoned? He shoos the thought from his head, focusing instead on what he'd worked so painstakingly to recover.

"Thank you again for responding to my summons and agreeing to hear me out. My question is this: how do I know how much time it will take to heal from a wound that wasn't inflicted on my body, but on my mind or heart? Do you know the answer?"

"Thank you for your kind and generous methods in summoning me and your careful thought about your question. I do not know the answer."

"What?" he slaps his hand across his mouth more aggressively this time, shocked by his own outburst when his voice rises several octaves into what can only be described as a squeak.

I found ecstatic in a bit of backstory writing about the villain for a D&D campaign I tried to run (scheduling conflicts forced a permanent hiatus) titled "Shifty Business":

If the kobolds can fill the innermost cavern where the dragon sleeps with gold, in a pile so high that the dragon can only barely fit to sleep atop it, then they will have earned not only permission to live here but a place of honor which other kobolds will come to envy for generations to come. Ecstatic, Ironjaw readily agrees to these terms. All he has to do is earn gold and platinum, and he'll catapult up to the position every kobold wishes they could occupy: borderline dragonhood. He even knows how to pull this off, after a little thought. Gathering money means bringing it in consistently and in large amounts, right? He's seen how other races do this, and he's confident he can follow their example. He just has to start a business. He'll be a legitimate business owner, and his entrepreneurial enterprises (he may not be an inventor like other similarly intelligent kobolds, but Ironjaw is and always has been an innovator in many senses of the word) will bring in all the gold and platinum their awesome and benevolent dragon could ever want.

I found cold in several excerpts I've already shared, and also in the intro to a rough draft of a short story tentatively "Puddles & Lakes":

I don't think I dislike being human... but I get up before the sun's fully risen for a reason. The shaky back door shudders into place as usual, the silent cold in the air making its slight reverberation against the house feel like a deep and endless echo. It almost feels like it rattles out from the house itself. An easy wind shakes the skinny limbs of half-dressed autumn trees. I shiver at the sound as much as the chill of the air itself. My breath reaches out ahead of me in the shy morning half-light -- toward the dirt path just down the slope of this tiny backyard. I push past the edge of that little cloud of oxygen, mentally tracing my path. Gliding across damp soil, between dew-touched blades of grass, briefly touching the gate to the yard itself before dashing off to my usual places. I let the scene swirl around me for another breath or two. If I could be the sound of the shuddering door or the gust of the autumn wind or the fence of the yard itself, it might be nice.

I found down in the current draft of a short story titled "Hidden Talent":

"You don't have to believe me. I know it sounds pretty ridiculous. I don't even believe it sometimes. I just figured I... shouldn't hide it from you anymore," Vance shrugs, hyper-aware of how the motion affects his shirt. The wrinkled cloth shifts, tugging existing folds taut in some places and rolling loose fabric in on itself in others. Smoothing out old shapes. Creating new ones. Altering his entire image into something new, at least on a symbolic level. It feels like that change in his shirt is somehow symbolic of the change he's inviting by being honest about his weird ability. His friendship could be broken in a few seconds, or slowly molded into something unfamiliar -- a shape that doesn't quite fit into the space it did before, making Rowan so uncomfortable that the two of them start to drift apart. It could move two folds in the fabric of their relationship that were close to each other, transplanting them to completely new areas. He sets his head against one of the blue swirls and drops his eyes down to the ground, "You can forget I said anything. We can just start the show -- that was the plan, anyway. You're already three episodes behind me, you've gotta catch up. Sorry. For distracting you with... for distracting you."

I found every single word this time, and only one was in a fanfic. If I was keeping better track of how often those things happen, this would probably count as some kind of record. Thank you again for tagging me, I always have a lot of fun with this game!

[oneknightlight]

Actually I’m going to make a list of things I’ve noticed since I genuinely started working on valuing my life, and started working on beating the self degrading thoughts, because this is important to future me and anyone who is healing from depression and needs a bit of hope:

(tw depression, recovering from it, brief mentions of loss of appetite. this is mostly positive and for my own documentation but still heed the tw)

(I started working on this seriously beginning of 2022, so this is a year of noticeable changes in chronological order)

I started getting sleep. Initially I still stayed up till 2-4 AM, but I’d still sleep more, and often fulfilling 8-9 hours, even if it meant I slept in real late.

My appetite became more stable. (My body began responding to the basic 3 meals and however many snacks you need kinda day)

Life started to feel real again, very very slowly. So slow I didn’t pick up on it initially but it was happening.

My creativity exploded through the roof, this was not slow, I woke up one day and my imagination had went back up my nose and into my brain.

I started engaging in media I loved again. And not in a ‘I’m doing this to take my mind off the horrors’ way, in a ‘I’m doing this because I love it AND it combats the horrors.’ Don’t get me wrong, this took work, as my mind has a tendency to wonder and dissociate.

The shame in nourishing my inner child is slowly fading, and with it I found two new loves: Deltarune and Gravity Falls

I started dabbling in art and cosplay again, going as far as to begin writing my own characters (something I would’ve n’er had the confidence to do a year ago)

Staying firm in my boundaries became habit and brought a certain strength with them.

My inner voice has softened its volume and sanded its rough edges.

I’ve found it now easy to provide my body with food and water.(again hard work but it was so worth it)

I began bodybuilding, not for fitness, but for my mental health, and it’s become a joy to me and has improved my mental health. I couldn’t have done this a year ago, I would’ve bullied myself out of it.

I reached out and apologized to many friends I’d abandoned wrongfully out of depressive thoughts.

I’ve learned how to stand up for myself, even if I can’t help but cry while doing it.

I’ve become a healthier person to be around.

I took my last breakup like a champ, allowed myself time to grieve then blocked them and moved forward.

I’ve managed to make significant progress sobering myself from self destructive habits.

I started posting my art online, albeit nerve-wracking.

I’m making good chips at completely repairing my sleep schedule.

I started taking steps toward getting my permit, I’m still working on it, driving scares the piss outta me, but I think eventually I’ll get there!

Im slowly picking film back up as a side hobby,

And I’m building a cosplay I’ve wanted to make since the game came out, but have chickened out of up until now. I’m going to face one of the biggest conventions in my area in this cosplay, something I would’ve hid from a year back.

It’s important to note this is a little over a year of progress and definitely wasn’t quick. A lot of these things I still am actively working on ! But how cool is that! Crawling up from the wreckage is possible even though it’s filled with the horrors and feels hopeless, it’s possible.

[skeezybeatz88]

Saw The Iron Claw over the weekend and it hit hard. As someone with multiple siblings, hearing that “I used to be a brother and now I’m not a brother anymore” line was rough. Then I saw the Dark Side of The Ring “The Last of The Von Erichs” and heard the actual quote from Kevin Von Erich was “I used to have five brothers, now I'm not even a brother.” That was devastating.

There’s something special about coming from a big family. The bond is different. Of course there are disagreements and fights but we all gravitate toward each other sooner or later. It’s true what Kevin Von Erich said when asked what he liked to do with his brothers and he pretty much said anything as long as they’re together. That’s kind of the best way to describe having siblings.

As sad as the film was, it did a great job representing that sibling bond. Zac Efron did an incredible job. He portrayed Kevin Von Erich well. I would have loved to see him play the role of Kerry Von Erich so we could have had a little more insight into his life. He was definitely fit for that role and could’ve done a great job but none of the other actors could’ve played Kevin’s role the way Zac did. His training must’ve been insane for this film because he was ripped. I liked the picture of Kevin and his big family at the end. He seemed like a family oriented guy that cared for his brothers more than his parents. Their dad’s name was also unfortunate, to me, personally ngl.

Speaking of siblings, the holidays were different this year. As we get older, everyone has different schedules and responsibilities so it’s hard to plan family get-togethers. Most of my sisters have their own families now and I love the additions of my nieces and nephews but there’s just a different feeling when it’s just us sisters. The conversations sound unhinged because we say one word and everyone immediately starts laughing because we’re all on the same page. We glance over to our brothers-in-law and they’re either laughing because they’re trying to keep up with what’s happening and can’t or they just look confused. Either way, they understand that sibling time together is eventful. A few of them have been in the family long enough to be in on a few jokes. There’s even a sense of pride when they share something and they get us all to laugh.

The film was centered on family and family is important to me. It keeps me grounded. It makes me feel loved and cared for in a way other relationships and friendships haven’t. The love and support isn’t transactional, it isn’t manipulative and it doesn’t root against you. I’m blessed to have them, honestly.

tl;dr: The Iron Claw made me cry and appreciate my family.

xf 01.02.2024

[queenxfjustice]

He had a big task on his hands this year. A singular question that seemed impossible to answer-

How do you outdo a motorcycle?

Last year, only about a month into their relationship, he worked his ass off to save up enough cash to afford the down payment for her own Ducati. Wasn't exactly the same as buying her one outright, but that definitely wasn't in the cards for him, and regardless she still considered it a gift he gave her.

So how on Earth was he going to top that?

It was only upon reflecting on the past year that he found an answer. She had powers like his now, and she wanted to help him like the others did, but until recently he'd been... reluctant to let her. So perhaps his gift could be a gesture to commit to that, to letting her be his partner in fighting crime as much as she was in everything else. It may not be as grand as last year's gift, but... maybe it could help him make amends for pushing her away before.

"Merry Christmas, Koto."

He handed her a small white box tied up with black ribbon. Inside the box was a smart watch that seemed custom made, with a two round bits of plastic at the top that almost looked like ears. Turning it on would reveal an animated Buchimaru face.

"It's a pretty standard smart watch. Has a fitness tracker, supports all the usual apps, built-in reminders for events on your schedule, all that jazz. You can even swap out the ears and Buchi-kun for something more Majima themed if you feel like it. But it does have one unique function-"

He rolled up his sleeve to show he had a matching watch, though he clearly hadn't had the time to customize it yet. He then reached over to his wrist, and held down a small button on the side. Suddenly, her watch started to vibrate.

"These two are paired, using a rather sophisticated setup Futaba made for me. So whenever I send a ping to the system, if you just give this little button here a quick tap-"

He pressed the same button on hers, and suddenly the screen was replaced with a map, with a flashing little Spider icon showing his exact location.

"-it'll show you where I am. So if I'm ever in trouble, I can just hold the button, and it'll let you know. And the reverse is also true."

He'd also set hers to always be able to locate his, regardless of if he sent an SOS or not, as a way to give her some peace of mind. He did not however include the same feature on his, as a way to respect her privacy and keep him from being overprotective... as much.

"I know I've said this a million times since it happened, but I'm sorry I was being so... stubborn before. I was trying to protect you, but I ended up hurting us both. I'm... I'm only at my best when you're by my side, I see that now. So I made these so that even when you're not, you're only ever a button press away."

"And I swear on my parents' graves I'm going to use this. I'm not just going to leave it at home, or never press the button even when I know I'm in a rough spot. I made that mistake once before, and I don't plan to repeat it."

It was clear he was still beating himself up over his behavior of months prior. Which was typical of him, but this seemed like a particularly bad case. He was scared of losing her so much he nearly did anyway. Just... in a different sense.

"You're my partner, and I promise I'm going to treat you like it."

Christmas was usually a time for families to share a meal and lovers to have a romantic date night. Sure, kids got gifts and all that jazz, but the main event was spending a romantic night with your special someone. So of course, Makoto and Aaron had a night all to themselves planned. Cuddled up together in the attic, Makoto was surprised when he pulled out the small gift.

"I thought we agreed on no gifts this year?" She asked as he handed her the small box. "I don't have a gift for you!"

Despite that, she opened the box and admired the smartwatch as he made his long-winded explanation. Makoto's eyes darted up to look at him, her heart aching as he beat himself up over his past actions. She was partly to blame - Makoto had spent the whole couple of months refusing to speak to Aaron even when he tried to reconcile at first. She reached out, placing her hand on his cheek and giving him an encouraging smile.

"You didn't need to do all this for me," she replied. "I know you beat yourself up about our hardships. I know you regret some of the things you've said and done. I do too, but I'll always love you, Aaron. We might have our ups and downs but in the end, I'll always be here for you."

She leaned in and gave him a small kiss. "Thank you for this," she added, putting the watch on her wrist. "Merry Christmas, Aaron. I love you."

[love-death-and-crisis]

CW: religious trauma, addiction.

3 escape

When I got home from the mission I was so relieved to just have control over my hour-by-hour schedule that I just fell into a routine. I remember how it felt like such a relief to just listen to music again. I remember I barely slept the first week I was back because I was just so happy it was over.

I slipped into the expectations of my family and community. I went back to church and fully participated in the lie. I pretended like my mission was as great as everyone expected it to be. Meanwhile at home I tried to tell my parents that I was abused on my mission and my mom's only response was "well, you're still glad you went, right?".

Her ego was so fragile that she chose to deny her own child's abuse rather than admit the smallest fault with her church. Honestly she probably needed to deny the church's abuse in order to continue denying her own abusive actions and maintain the fairy-tale world in her head where she never did anything wrong.

I fell into a rhythm for something like a year. I went to BYU, a college run by the mormon church, and just studied like nothing was wrong.

One day it was like I suddenly remembered "oh wait this is all bullshit and I am really hurting". I know that probably sounds crazy, but that's really how it feels. I was just starting my second semester after my return. I had a free therapist through the school and I started talking with him about my doubts. I remember that I would constantly point out problematic shit the church did in basically any group setting. Most people defended the church with generic bullshit or just kinda looked away awkwardly, but I ended up making a few friends who shared similar views.

I have so much more to say about how I left the church. It involves a wholesome professor of world religions who was the first person to ever tell me that there could be truth outside the mormon church and an absolute sweetheart of a girlfriend who was my first introduction to the queer world. I want to write more about this someday too.

Partway through that semester I just stopped going to church. I lost a lot of friends, some of whom yelled at me or broke down crying when I told them I was leaving the church. I ended up pulling back a lot socially because everyone was responding so negatively.

I tried to actually live my life, enjoy my newfound freedom. I got drunk for the first time (alone) on a bottle of Riesling. Mostly I was planning my escape. My girlfriend and I talked about running away together and honestly I really wanted to, it was the exact sort of sun-soaked romantic dream I had cherished since I was a little girl. But I started to realize that I really wanted to like... explore real relationships now that I wasn't in a cult. Plus, we had vastly different visions of what a future together would look like. I ended up breaking up with her just before the semester ended.

My entire life fit into the back of my hatchback. It was packed to the brim, including a plant sitting on my best friend's lap in the passenger seat. He had offered to drive with me to my parents' home, states away. (I don't want to say what state because I'm fucking terrified of getting doxxed but it was not the state that I grew up in. It was totally new and uncharted for me)

Adjusting to life in the real world was ROUGH. I had lost literally my entire community and I was scared to talk about my leaving the church with even my best friend, even though my choice was obvious at this point. I tried hard to make friends while I worked a shitty food service job, but people kept pulling back from me without warning and would talk behind my back about how awkward I was. Turns out being in a cult for 22 years will make you a fucking weirdo and I was too innocent to realize it. Honestly, to this day I'm pretty sure some lingering mormon culture oozes out of my pores, despite the immense effort I expended trying to cut those parts out of me. I still feel like a misfit even when I'm among fellow autistic trans people.

I went back to school at a state school using my parents' good credit to get loans. I tried to maintain a relationship with my parents (my mind was still blocking out the worst parts of their abuse) but they refused to see where I was coming from. I felt deeply alone in basically all aspects of my life. I spent some time in the psych ward after admitting I was suicidal (god, never again). I basically gave up on making friends, horrified by the thought of being humiliated again. Besides, I was 23 and a sophomore and just didn't really fit in.

School was hard and lonely. I spent most of my free time gaming. I came out to myself as trans in 2019 and started hormones that same year. The pandemic didn't change much for me because I was already so isolated. My roommate lost his job though, and we ended up losing our apartment and I had to move back in with my parents. At this point it was just awkward living with them. They tried to like... pray around me, but they knew they couldn't directly ask me to do anything. I was desperate to get out and saw graduation as my ticket to be free for good.

But I was burnt out to shit. I had decided to get a master's, it only added a year to my education and promised big gains in my pay after school. I remember I had three semesters left and I was planning my classes and I had this huge wave of exhaustion wash over me, followed by naked terror. I couldn't do it. It was too much. I was too tired. How would I keep going?

I had to keep going. I found a way to disassociate from the pain. I started experimenting with drugs and started drinking a lot more. I forced myself to work through burnout to finish school. And I did it! I graduated with a master's, found a job waaaaay out of state, and moved out again.

26 and I was finally free, for good.

I was exhilarated. I was a few years into my transition and got to start in a new place where people only knew me as a girl. I got real hypersexual for a bit. With the help of my therapist I found out I'm autistic. My job kinda sucked, but I was finally free and the drug-like rush of my freedom kept me going for about a year.

Then I crashed. The years-long autistic burnout caught up with me. I still had never taken the time and energy to shed all my trauma. I pulled back again socially. I stopped putting in any effort at work, but it was a work-from-home gig I could do just the bare minimum to keep from getting fired.

For about a year I did nothing but try to process my trauma and learn to regulate my nervous system without substances. It was gut-wrenching work.

But I was making progress. And for most of this year, I really thought I would be okay.