#family dinners that somehow turn into all the batkids roasting bruce

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Thanksgiving at the Manor

Duke: So, time to go around and say why we’re thankful for?

Bruce, Dick, & Jason: NO!

Everyone else:

Dick: I mean, no, it’s fine.

Jason: We’re thankful for a lot of things.

Duke: Right… Is this some weird rich person thing?

Tim: Wait, does this mean there’s an actual reason we don’t do that?

Dick: No. One. Say. A. Thing.

Jason: I mean, it’s funny now…

Bruce, sighing: You two ended up in the hospital and I hate to donate two million to the fire department.

Jason: Like I said, hilarious now.

Dick: Would you two just shut up already?

Cass: So we’re not grateful out of cowardice. Got it.

Tim: I honestly thought it was because expressions of gratitude were too close to expressions of emotion.

Steph: I assumed it was some sort of rich white male privilege thing.

Damian: I was under the impression that the tradition was juvenile and doomed to be unnecessarily competitive.

Tim: You know, that’s actually really funny coming from you…

Steph: Can we circle back to the whole thanksgiving leading to possible arson or something because I, for one, am very interested in that story.

Bruce: Look, we all said what we were thankful for, it got mildly competitive, certain claims were made about which rogue liked who best, some minor explosions, a trip to the hospital, and it was decided that the situation did not need repeating. Ever.

Steph: Wow, don’t quit your day job, B.

Jason: Okay I admit his storytelling abilities are abysmal, but to be fair it was probably the only time that something was unanimously agreed upon immediately.

Dick: Can we move on now?

Duke: Okay I’m actually really interested to hear why you’re so worked up about this.

Damian: Your insistence is suspicious, Grayson.

Dick:

Everyone:

Jason: *slow grin*

Dick: Okay, fine. ibrokeintoarkhamandconvincedivytosayiwasherfavorite

Cass: What was that? I don’t think we quite caught all of that.

Dick, glaring: I said it once. That’s enough.

Duke: Okay so, fires?

Jason: Ivy had a crush on Harley.

Bruce, head in hands: Ivy thought arson would win Harley over.

Jason: Dick helped.

Dick: Hey, you helped too!

Jason: Yeah but I’m not the one who broke someone out of Arkham.

Dick: Technically I didn’t…

Bruce: Following you out when you broke in first still counts.

Jason: Yeah, but the hospital wasn’t quite worth it so no repeat experience needed.

Damian: Dare I ask why you two ended up in the hospital?

Jason: Dickie here heard a siren and dove for cover like a truly amateur delinquent.

Dick, grumbling: Broke my clavicle.

Jason: Amateur.

Dick: I swear Commissioner Gordon was right there!

Jason: *snickers*

Bruce: *dies a bit more on the inside*

Dick: Oh like you have room to talk. You laughed so hard you fell off and broke your arm!

Damian: Father, where were you during all of this?

Everyone: *turns towards Bruce*

Bruce: We hadn’t had pie yet.

Everyone:

Bruce: In my defense I thought they’d be fine.

Cass: Wow.

Duke: Okay. Well I, for one, am thankful to have been adopted into this family.

Tim: And not born in?

Duke: *stays silent*

Steph: I remain legally unrelated and I’m thankful for Babs for catching Bruce’s attempts at sneaking adoption papers through.

Damian: Father, you have a problem.

Bruce: Let’s eat.

Jason: Yeah, before anyone else starts to feel thankful.

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

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