#fat trans lives matter

[a-homestuck-but-give-me-a-chance]

Did some personal art I guess? I've been having a lot of body dysmorphia mixed with the gender dysphoria. Art is referenced off my own body, wonkyness and all.

[1tz-4ll-m3]

Being yourself should not be an inappropriate subject!

[queerpunktomatoes]

Welcome!

QueerPunkTomatoes is a reference to guerilla gardening. All people should have food. (If you need food, please DM and I'll try my best to help.) 🍅

Call me Belly (they/them). I'm 20, based in the US, and a Global Citizen 🌏 Sociology Scholar! Aroace and Queer. 🏳️‍🌈 Fat. White. AuDHD. Chronically Ill. Intersex (apparently).

This blog is pro-marginalized liberation and anti-capitalism. Hopepunk, because we have to believe we can create the world we deserve. Mine are tagged #mytomatoes.

I use the block button liberally, and I encourage you to do the same! I don't argue with people on the internet as much as I can help it. I don't pick fights or owe anyone an argument. I present my thoughts as concisely as I can, and if someone is not willing to listen to me and starts a screaming match, I'm not willing to listen to them. I prioritize my own peace, and will gladly have hard conversations! but only if we're on the same page about respect. I strongly encourage you to do the same 💚

I make mistakes. I'm still learning. Call me out.

Take care of yourself 💚 (if for nothing else, because we need you for the revolution!✊🏼)

Personal stuff under the cut, if you're interested.

Omg hi you clicked the cut. More about me!

I started studying sociology because I needed an extra humanities course in community college, and the second I learned what it means to study society, everything clicked and I realized why I struggled with psychology so much. I hate the pathologizing nature we tend to take on when we look at the world's problems. I'm an empath, and sociology was like finally getting to open my eyes.

I became anti-capitalist pretty much immediately. It didn't take much to radicalize me, because I'd always known things were screwed in the US, I just didn't realize how badly. Thankfully I realized before I was old enough to vote, because I absolutely would have voted for Trump. I absolutely love writing and learning and theory and community conversation, and this blog is my space to make sure I prioritize that :)

I was raised to be all the phobics---homophobic, transphobic, Islamaphobic, xenophobic. Realizing your own sexuality can do a lot to that worldview. I'm aro ace and queer, and I love how broad and contradicting those terms might seem. I'm still unpacking my old beliefs every day, and I am proud of how much progress I've made. I believe there is always more room for growth. I also found out I'm intersex very recently, so that's been a challenge to sort through, but I'm trying to love this new knowledge about myself.

Being fat is a part of my identity (I'm an old fat [as in, not a new fat]) and something I take very seriously. I have chronic an0rex!@ and that dichotomy does inform the way I think about body neutrality and fat liberation.

Anyway, that's a lot of words. I hope you're having a good day :)

[6txndrunks]

wanting to vomit evrrything

dreams with cataclysmic endings

in this body it is not fit

hanging after every suffix

[bfpnola]

Looking for free event and opportunity notifications? BFP has updated its event network so that notifications are no longer mixed up with tasks for our registered volunteers! If you’re always on the lookout for scholarship and career opportunities, social justice conferences to attend, protests around the world… This is for you! And don’t worry, many of these opportunities, if not most, are remote so you don’t have to worry about being too low on spoons to travel!

Like the picture above says, you can receive these notifications by texting “@bfpnetwork” to the number 81010 or by tapping this link here! Same concept as our old event network, just a new link so things are more organized!

Previous notifications have included:

international Free Palestine protests

giveaway for free crocheted packers

online workshop on the importance of libraries in the revolution

a psychiatric survivor zine searching for submissions

a webinar on navigating the housing crisis as part of the queer community

dental/oral harm reduction for those with eating disorders

local community forums on police abolition in the South of the United States

job applications opening for different activist organizations

And so much more!

[corvidcall]

sometimes you see a bad tweet and it makes you upset all day but you cant interact with it in any way because then twitter will just be encouraged to show you more bad tweets. but it did ruin my whole fucking day

[babyweightmusic]

I FIGURE IT’S BEEN A WHILE, so allow me to reintroduce myself.

hi — my name is cara eser. when i first came to tumblr over 15 years ago, it was under my deadname (zacheser — we don’t talk about her). i ran a body positive blog for years that was somewhat popular before i began pursuing a career in music.

in 2020, i came out as transgender — something that didn’t surprise a good lot of people (and if you dig far enough back in my posts, you can see my egg was starting to crack as far back as 2009). since then, my career as a music producer and DJ has taken up most of my time.

over the last decade, like a lot of older millennials, i’ve grown distant from this platform. i’m realizing now, however, that i’ve been longing for a place that feels less “content” heavy than social media to find community — so i’m coming back here to share my music and my journey and document it all.

hope you like what you see.

xxx

cara / baby weight

[vamptastic]

it's just like. okay. when i say i like men in a gay way and women in a lesbian way i don't mean that i think straight attraction is icky or my attraction is somehow more enlightened and progressive. i mean that I've spent the formative years of my sexuality in a place with my gender presentation where people are equally as likely to see me as a man or a woman and often seem to think of me as both, and i cannot separate both my attraction to men or to women from that. ive always felt drawn to butchness because its this concept that your love for the same gender shapes your gender presentation and vice versa, but it's specific to womanhood and attraction to women as a woman in a way i can't entirely relate to. like, in many ways i am both a man and a woman, and i am attracted to both men and woman in a way both shaped by and reflected by that fact.

[lesenbyan]

There are few things worse, I think, than reading a call to action memoir that is so close to right but really should have been shelved for at least 5yrs before going to print so the author has time to learn enough to see all the false equivalencies that really hinder the point

[yelloworangesoda]

feeling bad

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

virtually all of women’s health revolves around the body’s ability to conceive, carry, birth, and nourish a new human being and embracing that is the surest way I’ve found of mending whatever broken relationship you have with your body. no mirror affirmation or bathroom selfie is going to change your mindset like humbly learning about your biological telos will.

[were--ralph]

Hey i saw you ranting about trans men on a post, and i was just wondering a few things. This is a genuine question, as a stelth trans man, i really cant find anything about a pre op transitioning body attractive. Especially a pre op Chest. Now i do take testosterone, and i think that the parts that i find gross (ex: tits mixed with chest hair) are a perfectly acceptable thing to deal with so i can look the way i want to look. I love my body hair and my muscle growth, i just dont love the obviously not cis parts of me. What do you find attractive about this? I truely cannot for the life of me understand why people find trans men attractive but i would really like to understand.

I think spicy food is disgusting generally. it's like. hot and not fun and to me it adds nothing good to the food experience. Genuinely I don't understand why people enjoy hot foods it makes like. literally no sense.

and yet, people do. it's weird. I've tried on multiple occasions to get into spicy food and it just. suks. every single time it sucks. But everyone else in my family lives by it. And I've asked why for years literally unable to understand it until I realized.

sometimes people just. like things. things I certainly don't like and cannot enjoy whatsoever. But at the same time, this is true for me and not for them. I fucking love coffee to the point I drink it more than water most days, but no one else in my family likes it. BUT other people outside my family enjoy it too.

Life is weird and what I'm getting at is something that took me a lifetime to understand and I still can't wrap my head around it all the time.

People just like things. People love things and hate things. What things mean to one person can mean the world to another and death to the third. There's not always a reason for it, but what you have to do is accept that there are things in life that you just might not like much right now. but as time goes on you'll find value in it the same way your partner will find value in you and all the minuscule things you do and become and like and dislike.

And to build on that point, there are things I hated as a kid that I'm fine with and even love now. Each day changes you more than you'll ever know and with those changes, the acceptance that comes with them may be easier or harder.

So, to answer your question, I don't know! I just love men. Men with tits or pecs, men with vaginas or dicks. maybe both at the same time or neither at all! I just think men are generally attractive no matter the design or what's different about them. and not just men but people who present as masc in general. If you're masc nb there's a chance I'm looking at you through the window of a bar as much as if you were cis-male or trans-male.

I do know for some men, the allure of masculinity displaced with the typically-feminine concept of a vagina intrigues them. Maybe it's the juxtaposition of them together, maybe they just want something unique and new to them. Maybe they just really like vaginas and it doesn't matter who it's attached to, or maybe they just like trans men. Same thing with boobs, some guys just like boobs. Some men have boobs. the overlap doesn't mean net-negative results, it could be double positive.

And I don't expect you to love everything about yourself, god knows I don't love everything about myself, and despite people telling me what's good about me I can still find flaws within it whenever I choose. I think men with chest hair are hot as fuck, but also I've seen some smooth men that are just as if not hotter. I love me a fat man or a man with muscles, but i've seen twinks i'd demolish in one sitting as well. I've seen men with dicks and boobs and scars and and hair pretty much everything under the sun and sometimes I want them to sit on me and forget I'm there and smother me.

What you do have to do though is accept that you have those things, and you are those things, and even though you may not like those things you have to accept that they're a part of you and find value in that. And it's not an easy task at all to love yourself, but you have to try because even if you don't right now, there's a partner who will be waiting for you somewhere. there's a future version of you who loves you as you are. there are friends who love your flaws, pets who don't judge, and there are a lot of things that accept you as you are.

So just say you have boobs and chest hair. even if you don't love it about yourself right now know that there are and will always be people who do, and personally I've said before, but I wish i had boobs and chest hair it's just a perfect look to me. I'm fine with whatever my gender is, i just think its a good look. If I had money for top and bottom surgery I'd get it and never look back. You just have to find the value in yourself we all know is there, and if you can't just know that we know it's there and let that carry you through the day!

[beatrixstonehill2]

"What is up, my beautiful people? Madison here, notice anything different? I'm sure you did.... yes my voice is deeper. Bet you can probably guess why. The speculation on discord was 100% right, I'm detransitioning! Woot! My roommates convinced me. We were all showering together and, like, they said my boobs are really pretty but they're right, it's pathetic that I only have a three-inch cock. They tried to suck me off for fun but all that estrogen made it so flaccid they could barely help me get it up. They asked me if I ever thought about detransing and stop pretending to be a girl. They showed me lots of detrans videos and it really changed my mind.

Like I totally get it now that I'm just a boy who fantasizes about being a big-titted slut. Like all my opinions on how girls should behave come from porn, basically. I'm just acting how I wish girls would act! So, I feel kind of silly living 'as a girl' for so long. Like I can't even get my cock hard. It's great I forced my male body to grow a set of Hentai tits any normal girl would reduce in a heartbeat but I basically can't even cum because of my estrogen addiction? Enough's enough. I'm so happy my roommates brought me to my senses and convinced me to detrans! I know, I've been dropping some big hints in the Discord, like asking how much T a trans girl should take if she wanted a really big cock and didn't mind going through male puberty. Some of you thought I was just trying to get a big dick but a lot of you knew what was up.....

Sorry to anyone who really loved my girly content, try-on hauls, bikini vids, my many dancing and bouncing vids, and of course all the vids of me getting ass fucked at the club, usually in the men's room, fittingly enough. So my roommates have laid out a masculinization plan for me! No shaving at all from now on, especially once my facial hair and chest hair come in. No masturbating, no matter how horny I am, I have to fuck real girls and not just fakegirls/femboys. I having to work out and take this protein weight gainer stuff they bought me, so I bulk up. I have to throw out my girl clothes and make up starting today and only wear boy clothes. I have to keep my hair short. Any girls I see with big tits, a fat ass, or a big pregnant belly, I have to catcall and compliment, or just hit on them and make a lewd remark. If they get disgusted or slap me: good! I'm a man, I need to start being honest about how horny and perverted I am. I need to grope and touch at least ten women a day. I'm allowed to pump my cock like I'm jerking off but only if a girl can see me do it like I'm jerking of to them, but I'm not allowed to cum unless it's in a girl's mouth, her tits (but only if she's tit fucking me), her pussy or ass.

Unsurprisingly my roomates also expect me to get them pregnant once my sperm count returns to normal, saying I 'owe them' for having to watch a perverted boy with estrogen-fattened man boobs strut around all day in dresses and bikinis. Not a bad trade, but I can only imagine how needy they'll be once I'm totally detransed. Oh, and last but not least my breasts are getting removed live, right here on TikTok tomorrow morning! So if you ever wanted to see my big jiggly boy tits get mangled and chopped off by my roommates, who are both med students with a pretty good track record doing surgeries like this. They gave each other breast reductions last year, going from a G-cup and a JJ-cup to an A and B cup! So I trust they'll get my big fat tits off in a jiffy. I'll miss them, but I have to remember that's just my pervy boy brain wishing I was groping a big pair of tits, not that I actually want to have a pair myself! And soon enough I'll be fucking big-breasted sluts all around town like the man I'm meant to be! Can't wait! ❤️"

[lastoneout]

Something I've noticed that is like...concerning but also just really annoying about online discussions about basically any topic these days is something that probably already has a name but that for now I'ma call "death of nuance via strict binary thinking" which leads a lot of people to get very angry over the idea that two things can be true at once, or that bringing up someone else's problems does not overshadow or invalidate your own, or that you can uplift a group of people without tearing down another.

Because like, I've had this happen on several of my posts now, where I say a generally harmless, factual statement, and several people rush in to either outright accuse me of saying a different, more extreme statement or annoyingly "correct" me to fix the supposed ~dangerous implications~ of my words, which I'm not gonna lie is as infuriating as it is confusing.

I can't make a post about how sugar is one of the main things the human body runs on and thus trying to remove it entirely from your diet is dangerous and harmful without people showing up to be like "are you saying it's okay to eat an entire bag of sugar by the spoonful??" and "well if you ate nothing but oreoes and ice cream that would make you sick" even though that doesn't contradict or really have anything?? to do?? with my original statement??

I can't make a post talking about the issues men(trans or cis) face under the patriarchy without people showing up and getting mad at me for "making feminism about men" despite the fact that the majority of my feminist activism DOES center women and taking a moment to explore the ways the patriarchy harms us all in no way harms women. And I can't make a post pointing out that marginalized men, especially black, disabled, and fat men often have malice read into their very existence and maybe that's bad without people showing up to get mad at me for saying marginalized men are incapable of harm which is not what I said at all.

And this one is a bit different but still one I see a lot, which is an over-correction seeped in the idea that we can only uplift one group at a time, or if x group is good y group must be bad. Like I am all for pointing out that there's nothing wrong with not wearing makeup and having body hair and not wearing deodorant, and women who live like that are fine and valid and can still be seen as sexy and desirable, and yes there ARE things to critique about the beauty industry for sure...but then that manifests into thinking women who do shave and wear makeup and deodorant are ugly or weird or brainwashed and should be mocked, which..no? Or when the dialog shifted to talking about fat people being hot suddenly we had a lot of people acting like skinny women were ugly and weird when that actually doesn't help with fat liberation AT ALL.

(Also just to clarify I think the occasional joke about these topics is okay given how much mockery fat, hairy, and non-feminine women get BUT there is a point when you go to far and some groups of people are racing over the line.)

And like yeah you could say the internet has always been this way but there's been a real noticeable uptick in progressive leftists coming at complex issues with this kind of no-nuance thinking, when it used to be something I really only saw from conservatives. I'd see stuff like "well feminism is bad because men also have problems" and "oh black lives matter? are you saying other lives don't??" and "oh you think drug addicts aren't inherently dangerous well what about the ones who DO hurt people" or "we can't talk about trans women's issues that would take away from talking about cis women's problems" and "we can't have a fat character that's glorifying ob*sity" and we used to MOCK them for that shit. This was seen as RIDICULOUS and was generally considered a conversation ender because it's clear the people doing it aren't actually interested in having a conversation they just want to yell at you for something you didn't say or pull a huge "I am uncomfortable when we are not about me" which just...ough please stop.

So seeing like actual progressive people pull this shit is really weird and it happens so often I legit can't ignore it anymore. I don't really have a solution, but I just feel like some of us really need to wrap our heads around the idea that just because someone said one thing doesn't mean they're saying this other thing too. Which, when you put it like that, sounds like the kind of thing you learn in kindergarten but I digress. Someone saying it's okay to eat sugar, your body actually needs it, isn't necessarily saying it's okay to eat so many oreoes you get sick(or excluding diabetics or being a corn lobby apologist or whatever the hell else people on that post are accusing me of). Someone bringing up the ways the patriarchy hurts people who aren't women isn't making feminism about men or saying women don't have problems. Trans men talking about their issues isn't implying anything about trans women just like bisexuals or asexuals talking about their issues isn't taking space away from allo gay people. Someone talking about how assuming marginalized men are threats when they're just existing is bad and gets innocent people killed isn't saying OJ Simpson did nothing wrong.

Two things can be true at the same time. Nuance is important and making space to talk about one thing isn't taking away from someone else. There's no contest, no slippery slope so dangerous we can't even state facts, no pie you have to fight over. Oppression isn't a math problem where whatever you do to one side of the equation must be done to the other or a scale that can't be balanced. This kind of thought process isn't productive and will not lead to a better, more equal world. Just one where someone else is wearing the boot.

Just...idk please just stop coming onto posts assuming the worst, doing bad faith readings and then getting pissed about something the person didn't say, assuming someone else getting a seat at the table means yours is in danger, being so desperate to be a good ally that you start doing lateral violence and calling it punching up, and just full on stealing conservative talking points and argument styles and trying to make them progressive.

We're supposed to be better than this. That's all I've got really, we're just supposed to be better than this. And while I don't always engage with people like this for obvious reasons, I'd like to think they aren't beyond saving and maybe this post can change a few minds. You guys aren't wrong to be angry and want to help and protect people who need it, but this is not the way to go about it and it never will be.

[babyweightmusic]

i know i’ve been radio silent here, but it’s only because i’ve been busy living my best life: making music full time, touring the U.S., meeting wonderful people… constantly reminding myself that i have so much left to give!

[orangetonavy]

about I Saw the TV Glow...

i love movies and some of my favs are Titane, After Yang, Dogville, so and so. you get the gist. so at first i didn't really like the movie. i kinda get why the dialogues were so deadpan and the colours of the lighting were so strong ofc but i didn't inherently love it. the theme too, i was cis while watching it and for some scenes i could definitely feel it but overall it wasn't for me. the progression of the plot felt a little undercooked and all. i finished the movie and thought: hm. i get why all those trans people love it and it did make me feel some kind of ache at times. well. time to go to sleep.

like two days later, i kid you not, i realized that i wasn't cis. there was just this pang in my heart. a distant voice telling me that i still have time. time for what? i thought. i know i don't like my life but i've always liked being cis. i like being a girl. i love being a lesbian. i still do, but i was wrong. i was trying to make myself believe that i was content with being a woman.

now keep in mind that i live in asia. in my country women traditionally aren't allowed to look much masculine at all. no fat, no muscles, pale skin, long hair, tight but modest clothes, sweet voice, never angry. and because i fought my way through life to have relatively shorter, shaggy, dyed hair, a loud rough voice to get angry at older men for swearing at me on the bus and to love my body with all my muscles and layer of fat, i thought i already renovated myself. everything i did was eventually feminine because i am female.

but i am not feminine. thinking that i was a female by heart made me act in ways that would often confine me to femininity. i'd try to enjoy flaunting my body even after being sexually harassed for it my entire life ever since my breasts started to grow. sometimes i felt like i was useful whenever my body would get ogled at because that's how i learned to cope. i slowly got disinterested in sex and sexuality after an sa.

now that i take t and label myself as trans, i feel liberated. i don't have to cope with the shame and anger my body has given me my whole life anymore. i can be myself and i can tell people who i am in a way they would understand my own view on myself. my interest in sex and love and people are back. i'm unafraid of eventually becoming *the girl* in a relationship with a man because i am not a girl, and i'd meet someone who respects that someday.

there really is still time. i can't wait to be 30, 40, maybe i'd have a flat hairy chest by then. or maybe not and i come to peace with my guy tits. could be single but i doubt that bc i'd be hot lol. might be in a lesbian relationship. might have a husband. might be married to a spouse without gender or whatever. doesn't matter. i'll be loving myself and my partner. there is still so much time.