#for the most part i don't really have a problem w my body/how i look

[satorusugurugurl]

Idk how you would turn this smutty. But I guess it doesn’t have to be. But how would the jjk boys deal w their girl being depressed or just not really liking herself

JJK Men: When You’re Feeling Depressed/Anxious/Down

Characters: Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Nanami Kento, Ryomen Sukuna (Modern AU),

Word Count: 4,090

Warnings: Mentions of low self-worth, depression, self-negativity, anxiety, fluff!

A/N: A fix for those of us who have those bad days and need a little pick me up.

Gojo Satoru:

Gojo noticed something was wrong from the exasperated sigh from the bedroom. Popping his head in, he watched as you threw a top down on the ground, joining the growing pile of clothes on the floor. Your face was comforting between frustration and anger before you laid down on the bed, face down; your scream muffled into the mattress.

Seeing you like this, distraught and in distress, had Satoru padding across the floor, plopping down on the bed next to you. His large, warm hand gently rubbed up and down your back in soothing strokes. Only stopping when you slowly pulled back to look up at him.

“What's bothering you, sweet pea?”

“I just,” you sighed heavily, “nothing looks good on me. I feel dumpy, and I hate how I look.”

The harshness of your words had Satoru moving as if you had slapped him. “I'm sorry?” His hands cupped your face, squeezing it. “It just sounded like someone was insulting my girlfriend.” you tried pulling away from him, groaning as your hands pushed at him.

“Toru, stop!”

“No, you stop.” His tone left no room for arguments. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen: your face, personality, even this perfect body. Everything about you is perfect.” he was pleased when you didn't argue with him, “You don't like your clothes? You don't like how the clothes look? Come on.” he yanked you up, tossing you one of his shirts.

“Huh? What?”

“I said, come on.”

While wallowing in yourself, pity sounded like a beautiful idea. You knew your boyfriend. He wouldn't stop at nothing until you listened. So you reluctantly got up, dressed in one of his expensive shirts, before he dragged you out of the apartment.

Knowing Satoru, he would take you to some sweets shop and get you whatever you wanted. That was something you expected when it came to him. What you hadn't been expecting was for him to pull you into a boutique, the boutique you'd always fantasized about shopping at.

“W-Why are we here?” you asked, eyes wide as Satoru sat in a plush chair.

“You don't like any of your clothes, so I’m going to buy you a whole new wardrobe.” he leaned back, giving you a dazzling smile. “You shop to your heart's content, sweetheart.”

Your eyes moved around the shop, taking in the clothes you'd dreamt of wearing. “I-I can't, Toru, it's too expensive.” Satoru sighed dramatically, leaning his head back.

“I’m the head of the Gojo clan, a single child, and the strongest sorcerer of the modern age. Money is not a problem. I could buy out the entire store, and that's pocket change.” You twiddle your fingers, still feeling hesitant. “Sweetie,” you lifted your eyes, “have fun, you’ll feel so much better.”

Part of you didn't want to do this, to spend his money. It felt like he was a Sugar-Daddy when he presented you with extravagant gifts, but at the same time, he liked spoiling you. With a pout, you began thumbing through racks and pulling out tops and pants you liked before handing them to an awaiting clerk.

You glanced and grazed, pulling stuff off racks that looked good. Before you knew it, you stood in the dressing room surrounded by what seemed like dozens of articles of clothing. Would any of these even look good? Or would you still feel dumpy? The only way you would know was if you tried them on, which you had been dreading.

You pulled on a pair of jeans, a blouse, and some shoes before walking out. Satoru perked up, jaw-dropping as you stood in front of the mirrors. You looked—amazing. Your face mirrored his. You looked so pretty. The clothes fit you perfectly and complement the curves of your body along with your skin tone. For the first time all day, you felt good about yourself.

“Wow, just wow.” Satoru was a beaming ball of sunshine. “You looked beautiful earlier, but the confidence radiating off you is blinding! Strongest sorcerer in the world and luckiest boyfriend in the world!” You watched him pump his fist in the mirror.

“I feel perfect about this one.” you did a little twirl, looking at your backside.

“Me too! Go on, try on the next outfit! I wanna see everything.”

You felt as though you were in a movie. Going through a montage of outfits, all of which Satoru excited. He proudly announced to one of the attendants that you were his stunning girlfriend and looked terrific in everything. Ultimately, Satoru bought you ten new outfits, six dresses, ten pairs of shoes, and some jewelry.

You walked out in one of your new sun dresses, grabbing onto your white-haired boyfriend's arm. With a glance down at you, Satoru signed contentedly, squeezing your hand. You had a smile that could light up a million stages. His hand gently squeezed yours; your head tilted to stare at him.

“Feel better?” Satoru asked, giving you a wide smile.

“A million times better. Thank you, you didn't have to do that—” Having him spend that money on you left a bad taste in your mouth. Satoru could see how you avoided his gaze, how your hand tightened.

“I know.” The gentleness of his tone had your nerves relaxing. “But you were down, and I wanted to make you feel better. And from that adorable smile. I'd say I did a pretty damn good job.”

“You're so full of yourself.” Satoru swung your conjoined hands back and forth. “But that doesn't mean that you're wrong. You did an excellent job, Satoru; thank you again.”

“Anthrung to brighten your day, sweetheart. Now, let's grab some lunch! I wanna be the guy to take the hottest woman in the world to lunch!”

Geto Suguru:

Suguru could see it in your grin at work. It was a soft smile, one that screamed to others that you were okay. Everything was perfect in your life. But he could see the way that smile fell when everyone looked away. You weren't your perky, bubbly self, and that worried him.

Suguru waited until after the last of the students to leave before he walked up behind you, resting his chin on the top of your head, his arms wrapping around your waist. For a brief moment, he feared that you might pull away, that you needed space. He held a bated breath until you relaxed against his chest, allowing yourself to be engulfed by his larger frame.

He stayed like that, holding you tight for a long moment and not moving until you shifted from one leg to another. It was a signal that told him you wanted to move without outwardly saying it. So he released you, arms falling to his sides, hands sliding into his pockets as you stepped to collect your bag off the desk.

“Are you okay?”

You swallowed hard, nodding your head instead of answering him. You knew if you were to open your mouth to confess that you weren't as okay as you claimed, you would end up crying. You knew Suguru could see you weren't OK, but he wasn't the type to pry. So he just wrapped his arm around you and ushered you out of the classroom to head back home.

When you arrived, you took off your shoes and jacket and began heading to the kitchen to prepare something for dinner. Suguru was faster than you, grabbing your hand and pulling you to the living room, where he forced you to sit on the couch. He was lightning fast, sitting behind you, his hands gently rubbing at your tense shoulders, making you melt.

His fingers rubbed and kneaded the stiff muscles in your shoulders and upper back. His touch back in the classroom had been a comfort, but having him rub out the tension had you moaning as you leaned forward. Your soft mewls had him grinning, his fingers and hands continuing to move over your back.

“So,” he began, “will you tell me what's wrong? Or would you prefer to savor the moment?”

With a soft sigh, your body arched, leaning into his touch. “I just haven't been feeling like myself. I wake up a ball of stress, and I haven't been sleeping well.” A lump began to form in your throat as you struggled to find the words. “Works been a lot; I've been working twelve-hour days, that's not even including missions.” the tears you had been holding back this entire time finally escaped. “And I feel like I could do more for everyone and you. I don’t feel like I’m putting enough effort into everything.” The kneading of Suguru’s hands ceased; they remained still, gently squeezing your shoulders.

He took a moment to process your words, to filter through the pain and the stress that seeped through them. It was painfully clear to him that you were far more stressed than he had imagined. Situations like this called for more than just a back massage.

”I’m sorry that you have so much on your plate right now. If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know.” The couch shifted as your boyfriend stood up, scooping you into his arms and carrying you toward the bathroom. “I think you might need to take a day off for yourself and stop worrying so much about helping everyone else out.”

Suguru sat you on the bathroom counter before unzipping his uniform jacket. “But I wan—“ He placed his forefinger gently over your lips, silencing the protests and excuses he knew you were going to make.

”I know you want to help. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help out your co-workers and partner when a lot is going on. But you must also remember to care for the most important person.”

”Whose that?”

”You.” His words left your cheeks burning as you watched him draw a bath. “You want to help, but you can’t do that when you’re grinding yourself to the bone. For tonight, don’t worry about work, me, or what we're going to have for dinner. I want you to focus on you.”

As much as you hated to admit it, Suguru was right, and you had been working yourself to the brink of death. A hiccup was the only sound Suguru needed to hear to know that his words had struck home. Turning his head, bangs flowing, he shut his eyes as he gave you the warmest smile. You sat on the counter, wiping at your tired eyes, sniffling like a child as your boyfriends strode forward, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a tight hug.

”Let’s take the night to focus on you.”

Suguru ordered dinner, and as you both waited for it to be delivered, you soaked in the bath together. The aroma of your favorite bubble bath mix and candles calmed you down. Your eyes were heavy as you pressed yourself back against Suguru’s bare chest, humming contently as he held you close. For the first time in weeks, you felt yourself slip into a deep slumber in the flickering glow of the candlelight. Your deep breathing and relaxed features left Suguru’s heart feeling light. Taking care of you was one of the greatest pleasures of the world.

Nanami Kento:

Nanami straightened his tie as he looked over himself in the mirror. With a heavy sigh, he stepped out of the bathroom and into your room, where you were nowhere to be found. The bed was unmade, so that you couldn't have gone far.

After grabbing his keys and wallet, Nanami went to the kitchen, where you were. Cocking an eyebrow, he began searching the apartment for you. The living room was empty, as well as the other bathroom. He was getting ready to pull out his phone to call you when a soft sniffle caught his attention.

The sound resonated from the office, where, upon looking inside, he found you sitting on the floor. You were surrounded by a pile of laundry in the basket, a list of groceries you needed to pick up, and you were reading over a report. He was watched for a long moment; tears ran down your cheeks as you sniffled, your eyes darting around items.

It was painfully evident you were in the midst of a depressive episode. When you suffered through these episodes, simple tasks you usually completed with ease were overwhelming to the point you held off on them until you could no longer ignore them. Seeing you so overwhelmed and drowning in your emotions had Nanami’s mind reeling on ways that he could help.

For now, the two of you need to get to work. With a gentle tap of his knuckles against the door, Nanami watched you regain your composure. You were taking several deep breaths, wiping at your eyes before you stood up, grabbing a boom to make it look as if you hadn't just been having an episode.

“Hey, are you ready to go?” Your fiance asked, watching as you hurriedly passed him with your head down. “If we leave now, we’ll have time to stop for coffee.”

“Yeah, I’m ready!” Nanami listened to your voice fade before he stepped inside, grabbing the grocery list off the floor and sliding it into his pocket.

“Alright, let’s head out.”

The day went by too fast for you as you sat in the morgue looking over the folders you still needed to file. All the deaths had been bringing up memories of Haibara and the young lives that had been lost in your line of work. You needed a break to escape the death that constantly seemed to follow you in your work.

On top of all the work that had you drowning in sorrow, you had been neglecting the housework. You had fully intended on doing it before Nanami got home from his latest mission, but to your horror, he got home earlier than you thought. Meaning he saw how neglectful you had been, and that made you feel even worse about yourself.

Before those self-destructive thoughts could overtake you, the door to the morgue opened. What you had assumed was Shoko turned out to be your fiancè. What time was it?! Was he already picking you up? You snatched the clock off your desk and felt your stomach drop into your ass. It was six thirty. Six-fucking-thirty, you still had to go to the store, do laundry, and make dinner on top of everything else.

“I was beginning to wonder if you planned on sleeping here tonight.”

“N-No, sorry, I just—” Nanami tilted his head, “I lost track of time.”

“Right, well come on, let's go.”

On the walk back to the apartment, your mind was jumping back between the unfinished files at work and everything that needed to be done at home. All of it was important, you knew that. All you wanted to do was crawl under the blankets and sleep. This suffocating sadness had its grip around your neck, choking the life out of you and rendering you exhausted beyond all means.

There would be time to cry yourself to sleep once your chores were taken care of. Thinking about the pile of laundry awaiting you had your skin crawling as you entered the apartment. The same apartment that had been messy this morning was now tidy and smelt like the cleaning products you used. Your head darted to the number on the door. Did you walk into the wrong apartment?

The pictures on the walls of you and Nanami confirmed that you were, in fact, inside the correct apartment. Which only confused you more as you stepped further inside, taking off your shoes. You speed walked to the office to finish the laundry. But the basket was gone? Okay, so groceries.

You searched for the list you had made, looking under some books, the desk, and your recliner before Nanami cleared his throat from behind you. “If you’re looking for the list, I took it.” Wooden floorboards creaked under his weight before he held a bouquet of your favorite flowers towards you.

“W-What’a this for?” you questioned, your fingers grazing over his as you took the flowers from him.

“I noticed you were looking down and stressed this morning, so I figured you needed a little pick-me-up.”

The sweet floral smell flooded your senses as you inhaled deeply. “Oh Kento, these are beautiful, thank you.” His large hand cupped your cheek, caressing your skin.

“I also cleaned, finished the laundry, and picked up the groceries. So all you need to do tonight is relax.”

“K-Ken—” Words couldn't describe the relief that washed over you, “you didn't have to do that.”

“I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to.” You were gently pulled in, his lips pressing against your forehead. “You’re my partner, my future wife. There aren't set duties that you solely need to do. We're a team; I can easily help.” Fat tears rolled down your cheeks just as you threw yourself into his arms, bawling into his chest.

Your future husband smiled sadly, wrapping his big, strong arms around you. His hands soothingly rubbed up and down your back in gentle strokes, making you cry even harder. Kento was the best thing that had ever happened to you. Compassionate, loving, and gentle, what more could you ask for a partner?

You cried for what seemed like hours in Kento’s arms. Never once did he get annoyed or urge you to hurry up. Once you felt incapable of crying anymore, you pulled back, hiccuping.

“Feel better?” Kento asked, gently cupping your face in both hands. A nod was all he received back as a response. “Good. Now let's eat dinner, bathe, and relax.” That is precisely what you did, snuggled up next to him, dozing off as he stroked your head. His eyes raked over the page of his newest book. All the worries faded as you drifted to sleep, engulfed in the warmth of his body.

Ryomen Sukuna (Modern AU)

“I-Is it gonna hurt?” The young eighteen-year-old girl asked as Sukuna held her lip with sterile forceps.

“If I said yes, would it make you feel better?” Sukuna snickered, holding up a large needle.

“N-No?”

“Then let me do my job.”

With a stab, yelp, and one ring later, Sukuna watched the girl wiping tears away as she checked out. He was snickering as he sterilized his workstation. There is a fifty-fifty chance she'll keep it or not. But he got to get one hundred percent of the tip regardless. So he couldn't complain.

“Sukuna,” Geto called from outside his room, holding the shop's phone. “It’s for you.”

With a glance at the clock, Sukuna could make a couple of guesses as to who would be calling him at work at two-thirty on a Thursday afternoon. Either one of his little brothers got into a fight, and the school was calling, or it was one of his clients calling to reschedule with him. Hoping for the second possibility, he huffed an annoyed sigh, taking the phone from his co-worker.

”This is Sukuna.” The line was silent, almost too quiet. “Hello?” He asked, tapping his fingers against the client's chair. “Look, I got important stuff to do, so if no one is bleeding or needs my attention, I’m hanging up.”

A whimper stopped him from pressing the red phone icon on the phone. He knew that voice all too well. It belonged to you, his girlfriend of two months. Why the fuck were you crying? Panic settled in his chest as he stood up, his chair rolling away as he held the phone flush against his ear with his shoulder.

”Babe?” He asked, getting another whimper in response. “Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Geto and the others had all gathered around, exchanging worried glances with each other as Sukuna rushed to grab his jacket and helmet from his locker. “Hey, I need you to tell me what’s happening.”

”I-I’m sorry —“ Soft sobs sounded from the line, “I had a terrible anxiety attack, and work sent me home, and I just feel so out of it. I know you’re at work, but I need you.”

“Do ya’ really think I give a fuck about work when you feel like this?” His voice came out a bit harsher than he wanted. “I’m on my way. Where are you?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry—-“

Fuck, he knew better than to snap when you were in the midst of an attack like this. “No, you’re okay. I need you to tell me where I need to go.” Sukuna held his breath, waiting for you to respond.

”M-My apartment.”

”Unlock the door; I’ll be there in ten.” A soft sob between understanding and goodbye sounded from the other line just as he hung up. “Geto—“

His co-worker was typing on his phone. “I’m texting Satoru now; he’ll pick up Yuuji and Choso. I’ll call and rebook your other appointments. Get out of here.” Sukuna gave him a thumbs up and a sharp ‘thanks’ before he bolted out of the shop.

Just like he had promised you, he made it to your apartment in less than ten minutes, bolting up the stairs and turning a sharp corner before throwing open your door. He locked the door, threw off his shoes, and hurried to the one place he knew you’d be at. Sure enough, he found you under the sheets in bed, curled in a fetal position.

Your body shook with sobs, ones that made Sukuna feel like someone was twisting a knife into his stomach. He truly hated your anxiety attacks just as much as you did. Not because he had to help you through the tremors and tears. But because he hated seeing how much they wrecked you.

You were amid a choked sob when the bed sheets lifted, and your boyfriend's musky amber scent flooded your senses. His smell alone had your grip on the sheets loosening as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. His body was so far, his hands gentle as you buried your face into his side, crying roughly, your tears soaking his shirt.

”Shh, it’s alright, brat, let it out. I got you; you’re going to be just fine.”

The sadness that clutched you tightly began to fade as he continued whispering into your ear. His soft words and gentle praises had you curling closer into him. Your boyfriend was the best at bringing you back into reality. He was your life preserver, holding you afloat in the sea of melancholy that would have drowned you by now.

This was the reason he was the one person you called in situations like this. Where the sadness was too much for you to carry or when your anxiety felt like it had possessed you, Sukuna was there to ground you and bring you back to your senses. Days like these were when you thanked whoever spun the bottle the night you played Seven Minutes in Heaven.

”You good?” Sukuna asked as he felt your trembles die out.

”Yeah, I’m just sorry I called you at work. For something so miniscule over an anxiety attack.”

Sukuna hummed and flicked your forehead with a painful—thump before he pulled your body closer to his own. “I gave you the phone number for the shop for a reason, brat.” His finger ran through your hair, gently massaging your scalp. “I care about you; I want you to call me when you're feeling down or if you need me.” There was a particular hint of shyness to his tone before he cleared his throat. “So what happened?”

“Do I have to talk about it?” You questioned with a sigh. “I just want to lay here and relax with you.”

“Babe,” pulled you tighter against him. “We can do whatever you want. No questions asked.”

You got what you wanted, and that was him by your side, grounding you. He made instances like this easier to deal with. Just his presence alone was enough to make you feel like everything was going to be okay. All because Sukuna was by your side.

[mommypieck]

𑄽୧ panties with megumi 𔓘 ᰍ

kinktober day 30: sniff sniff !!!

✯⁠ megumi fushiguro x reader

✯⁠ warnings: panty sniffing, oral (fem receiving), pussy slapping, he fucks u over ur panties

Megumi feels like shit. It's the middle of the way when he decides to visit your room. The problem is that he knows you aren't there, he knows you have training.

The door opens with a creaking sound under his pressure, and he swiftly sneaks inside.

Your room is clean, just as he thought. The thing he desires the most has to be somewhere, but he's not sure where your closet is.

His hand pets the pillows on your head, and he thinks, what if he just… He falls head first into your pillow, sniffing the scent. They smell just like you, the essence of your perfume and hair shampoo. He turns his head around, his eyes meeting the treasured garment.

He grabs your panties off the floor, pressing them right to his nose. A whine leaves his half-parted lips at the smell. So this is how your precious pussy smells. The thought of your pussy being hidden from him by these panties makes his hand.

Megumi palms himself over his pants, your panties still pressed to his nose. he slowly moves his hand into the rhythm of his breathing. Too lost in the moment, he doesn't notice the door opening.

"Megumi, what are you doing?" your scared voice makes him jump on the bed. You caught him red-handed. Megumi shuffles so that he's sitting on the edge of the bed, his body facing you. The panties still lay on the bed.

"Were you sniffing my panties?" you ask him, eyes going wide, you can't believe the words that leave your mouth. It's obvious he's been doing something with your panties, but maybe all of this is just a little misunderstanding. Megumi shakes his head, looking everywhere but at you. He's a really bad liar.

"I didn't know you liked me," you mutter, blushing as you say so. He turns red too, he did all he could to hide it. But he can't deny it anymore, he's completely obsessed with you.

"I like you too much to let you know," he says. He straightens his back when you step closer to him. You stop right in front of the bed in between his legs. Your arms reach to tangle in his arms, and he leans into your touch.

"I can make your dreams come true," you whisper into his ear. His whole body stops, and he looks you straight in the eyes. Megumi doesn't see any mischief in your eyes, only pure lust.

You let out a yelp when he grabs your hips and throws you on the bed. he doesn't waste any time getting in between your legs.

"Let me look at the pair you are wearing right now," he says with a small smile, pulling your underwear down your legs. Your cheeks turn red at the gesture.

A deep exhale is heard in the room as his eyes lay on your pussy. You're just as he imagined - cute and wet.

"Did you like it when you saw me?" he asks you, and you know he's asking about the wetness in between your legs. To be honest, you did like it. You had a crush on Megumi for so long, but you've never thought he would find you attractive too.

"Do you want me to eat you out?" you get even redder under his question. You want him to touch you, but you want to leave it up to him. You just shrug, making him furrow his eyes.

"Answer me" he orders, slapping your pussy. You yelp, thrusting your pussy involuntarily to meet his hand.

"I do," you whine. You want him to finally touch you, to do anything to you.

He smirks at you before kitten-licking at your clit. Just this small touch is like lightning shooting through your body. His whole face is buried in your pussy as he eats out like a man starved. He has been craving tasting you for so long, he thinks he might cry into your pussy. It's just so delicious.

Megumi has never really eaten girls out. He's always found it disgusting. But for the past year when he's been obsessed with you, he dreamt about tasting you.

"Can I fuck you?" he asks you in between licks. He notices the worried look that's on your face.

"I don't have a condom," you confess. You want him to fuck you so bad, but you're not on birth control, and fucking without any protection is risky.

"I have an idea." he smiles at you, fetching your panties. He pulls them on you again, and you wonder what he wants to do. You wanted him to fuck you, and he's dressing you up?

He positions his cock in front of your panties, thrusting it against your clit. The rubbing of his cock against your pussy feels heavenly on both sides. As much as he wants to fuck you, it's pretty to see your panties get wetter and wetter just from rubbing. The garment is wet with both your juices and his pre cum, sticking right to your skin.

His cock bumps into your clit with every stroke of his cock, making you let the nastiest whines. The noises you make are even better than he could ever imagine, and he feels like he's in heaven.

It's embarrassing how close he is to his release when he leans down to kiss you on the lips. You kiss him back sloppily, eager for his lips. For him whole.

"Are you gonna cum with me?" he asks you, stroking your cheek. His heart melts when you lean to meet his hand. You nod your head, moaning in the process. Megumi holds both of your hands, thrusting his body against you a few more times before cumming on your panties. You follow him when you see the mess he made on your underwear and your tummy.

The room is filled with panting until you break it with your laughter.

"I didn't think my afternoon would end up like this," you tell him, fidgeting with your fingers. You want to do this again with him, but you're so scared to confess it to him.

"Me neither, but I'm happy it did. Now let me clean you up, and if you don't mind, I'm gonna take you out to eat."

Megumi's offer sounds appealing, and you're not even scared of gojo-sensei yelling at you for not attending your training.

Megumi feels like shit. It's the middle of the way when he decides to visit your room. The problem is that he knows you aren't there, he knows you have training.

The door opens with a creaking sound under his pressure, and he swiftly sneaks inside.

Your room is clean, just as he thought. The thing he desires the most has to be somewhere, but he's not sure where your closet is.

His hand pets the pillows on your head, and he thinks, what if he just… He falls head first into your pillow, sniffing the scent. They smell just like you, the essence of your perfume and hair shampoo. He turns his head around, his eyes meeting the treasured garment.

He grabs your panties off the floor, pressing them right to his nose. A whine leaves his half-parted lips at the smell. So this is how your precious pussy smells. The thought of your pussy being hidden from him by these panties makes his hand.

taglist: @mcharris747 @huuuuut30 @krispsprite @bejewelledd @cawwn @veryninjanacho @jamayah @dngerwayz @nwptune @universlypiratecolor @ffakegucci @merachannie @d1lf-luvr @th3girln3xtdoor @nobody289x @iheartpieck @gia999 @kawasgirl @st4rrlighttt @candyeyeroll @7haze @banchangsbbbg @nigthmar3moon @softlilpeachxx @d1gitalbathh @jaenniii @raeeesblog @satorustar @balenciagarette @erp1007 @herefor-tojis-tits

[fairlyang]

Easy money I 🕷️

in which your roomie needs your help for a shoot

w/c: 3.1K

pairing: pornstaroomie!miguel x f!reader

tags: 18+ smut. tension, recording, groping, fingering, squirting

notes: all my readers loved this series and might’ve been peer pressured for a part 3 but I’m kinda excited to write it :D gonna post this rn and maybe part 2 tmrw, finish up all my part 3’s soon hopefully

part two

I heard a knock on my door so I lowered my music from my airpods. "Come in!" I yell and turn to look at my laptop.

I hear the door open and Miguel clears his throat, I turn around to look at him and raise an eyebrow, "what's up?"

"I need something from you...." He says and takes a step inside.

"Like what?" I ask and he takes another step forward.

"You're gonna have to hear me out alright?" He says and I narrow my eyes at him.

"Okay..." I say and take my airpods off leaving them on my desk before turning back to look at him, giving him my full attention.

"I need you to step in for tonight's shoot..." he says and I burst out laughing.

"Are you fucking joking?" I say and shake my head. Is this man serious?

"I need your help Y/n..." he says nearing the edge of my bed and I groan.

"Why me?"

"The girl I was gonna shoot with canceled on me last minute and all the girls I usually shoot with are unavailable." He explains and I blink.

"Andddd you are already here...." He adds and i scoff.

"Not really sure I'd wanna expose myself like that Miguel." I say and stand up, walking over to my bed and plop down on it.

He sighs and sits on the edge of it and looks at me with pleading eyes. "Please? For me?"

"And the camera would hide your face, so unless you have any noticeable tattoos on your lower body then I think you'd be in the clear." He says and I bite my lip. Well there lies the problem...

I blink looking at him in silence making him scoff as he widens his eyes slightly then his lips tug into a smirk. "Where do you have it?" he asks and I feel my face heat up.

"Uh that one spot that's like lower, inner hip..." I say quietly and turn my gaze to my window.

There was really no reason for me to be acting like this- but that tattoo wasn't exactly somewhere that most people in my life know.... So maybe... just maybe...

"No face?" I ask and he nods.

"You know I don't even show my face-" he says with a small smile.

"I know but I don't know if it's different for the girls you record with." I say and shrug.

"It depends on them mainly, I'm not gonna force anyone I work with to show their face if they don't want to." He says softly and I nod slowly.

"And you wanna do this like right now?" I ask and he nods again.

"Jesus-" I mutter and run a hand over my hair.

"Up to you but you know I have a lot of loyal subscribers and make decent money off this..." he says and I chuckle.

"Because the girls love your voice and body." I say and he smirks making me regret my choice of words. And queue to him being obnoxious about it...

"I-"

"Think so huh?" he teases in a cocky tone making me groan.

"Fuck off." I say and grab a random stuffed animal from my bed and throw it at his face.

He laughs and holds it, it was so small compared to his hands. Oh god-

I mean of fucking course I've noticed how fine he is- it was the first thing I noticed when I was interviewing people to be my roommate, he was the hottest man that came in needing a place to stay.

I didn't just decide on him because he was hot but because he seemed chill and not like someone that would murder me in my sleep.

But I never made a move on him, neither did he. We've just always had some type of tension that neither of us ever paid attention to... I guess until now..

"So what exactly did you plan to shoot?" I ask and let out a sigh.

He grins and scoots closer now sitting by my legs as they were stretched out. "I was thinking fingering."

I nod and bite my lip, "hmm.."

"Up to you I won't force you but just think of the fact that you'd be getting paid to get fingered." He says and I snicker.

Sounds like easy money...

And I'd get an orgasm out of it...

"50% of whatever the video makes will go to you." He says and I bite my lip.

"You're really laying it on thick there Miguel... you that desperate?" I tease and he playfully rolls his eyes.

"Yeah actually, so just let me know within the next hour before I just decide to do a solo vid." He says and stands up.

I sigh and nod, "I'll... think about it...." He smirks and gives me a wink before opening the door and walking out, closing it behind him.

I sigh and lay down on my bed, should I?

I mean there's no denying the fact that I always listen in when he has someone over to record... or even checked out a few of his videos on pornhub...

maybe even possibly masturbated to a few of his audios... or the ones where he fucks himself with a fleshlight...

Letting out those incredible moans for everyone's very own pleasure, how selfless.

But he wanted to record for onlyfans which was for the ones who specifically pay to view his content, which apparently was a lot and the thought alone was a little nerve wrecking.

What if someone I've been with before recognized my tattoo and tells people I know? I'd be fucking done for and I'd just die on the spot of pure embarrassment.

But the money- how could I say no to that kind of money? Especially when seeing the views just his previews on pornhub get-

I'd be so fucking stupid to pass this opportunity...

Fuck it.

I get up from my bed and walk to my door quickly opening it before stepping out onto the hallway. I then do the walk of shame and walk to Miguel's room.

I made my mind up a little too fast god I'm not gonna hear the end of this from him-

I step in front of his door and knock twice before hearing a laugh. I groan and cross my arms across my chest, patiently waiting for him.

He opens the door with a wide smile but before I could even say a word my eyes trailed down his chest then to his abdomen. A small happy trail going down caught my eye as a pair of grey sweatpants hugged his hips perfectly.

God he looked so good...

Wait- how the fuck did he change so fast?

"Did you just assume I was going to say yes?" I ask, quickly looking up at him.

He shrugs and opens his door wide, motioning for me to step inside. I roll my eyes but walk in nonetheless, seeing that he was indeed very desperate for this. And apparently eager.

"I knew it'd be something hard for you to say no to." He says and shrugs, closing the door behind him.

"And I had an idea for more anonymity..." he says and walks past me.

He walks over to his desk and picks up two masks, robber masks. "We could put these on." He says and throws me a pink one.

I catch it and look down at it, cute.

"Just casually had these huh?" I mutter and play with it between my fingertips.

It only had three holes, obviously for the eyes and mouth. It honestly didn't shock me too much that he had these especially considering he didn't make content showing his face at all.

"Alright ready?"

"Where are we doing this? Should I change? Should I put makeup on-"

"Calm down-" he says and laughs, shaking his head at my sudden worries.

"We're doing this in my bathroom, I already set the camera and lights up." He explains and I nod.

"As for your clothes if you want I can give you one of my shirts and you can just leave your panties on." He says looking me up and down.

I wearing a SZA shirt with Cookie Monster pajama pants.... Yeah I definitely could've changed but maybe got a tiny bit excited..

He walked over to his dresser and picked the first one of top and then tossed it over to me. I caught it and unfold it to reveal a Nirvana tee. I shrug and walk over to his bathroom with him right on my tail.

I walk in then stop and quickly turn around to point a finger at him, "you're waiting- you can wait a few more minutes there O'Hara." He chuckles and backs up letting me close the door.

I quickly take off my tee shirt and put the one he gave me on. I leave my shirt on the sink then I slip out of my pj pants and realize it wasn't a big deal if he watched because he was going to see it all right now anyway.....

I look in the mirror and take a deep breath, I was really going to do this.... We were really going to do this...

I then take notice of the ring light and tripod that were right in front me. This was getting so real so fast and it was making me more nervous than I expected.

I breathe in then breathe out. I do it a couple more times and feel some nerves leave my body but some still lingering around.

I turn around and walk towards the door, I open it wide and Miguel stands up from his bed and walks over. "Finally." He teased and I chuckle.

"My bad." I mutter, turning back around and walk to the sink, leaning against it as Miguel walks in.

"You're good, don't worry it'll be fine." He reassured and gives me a small smile.

He walks over to his tripod and sets his phone on it and goes to the camera. He turns to me and motions for me to stand in front of the camera. I nod and do so, leaning against the seat with my nerves growing every second.

"Alright we're gonna start, if you need me to stop at any given moment just tap my thigh or anywhere twice okay?" He says and I nod.

"Audibly please?" He says and I chuckle.

"Yes I understand."

"Okay good." He says and throws me the pink robber mask.

I move all my hair to my back then slip it on. I fix the holes to align to my mouth and eyes then see Miguel doing the same. "This'll be fun." He mutters with a slight smirk on his face then he presses the button to record.

He walks over to me and gently puts his hands on my cheeks then leans in. I lean up and he leans down removing the last amount of space between us and crashes his lips onto mine. I kiss back and put a hand to his jaw and the other on his neck.

I then feel his hands slide down my body, at first staying at my waist, gripping my skin softly through the shirt until his hands go lower and his fingertips are playing with the hem of his shirt, near my ass.

He slid his tongue in my mouth and continues toying w his shirt, bringing it up slowly as our tongues fight for dominance but I stood no chance. Suddenly I feel a hard smack against my ass making me moan in his mouth.

He smiles and pulls away just to go down and start leaving open mouthed kisses on my neck. I sigh and tilt my head to the side as he slightly moves the mask to leave a mark where he wanted. He sucked on my skin then licked it softly before leaving a kiss on it.

I smile and grab his head, making sure he stayed in place as he kept playing with the skirt. He pulls away again and this time bringing the hem of the shirt up, slowly. He turns me around slowly so my behind is what the camera will see and lifts the shirt completely over my ass.

Another smack.

Then to the other cheek.

Another smack on each one, definitely already making them red and it seemed like he wanted to keep going because of the noises that were leaving his mouth. Such delicious groans.

He keeps pulling it up, exposing my entire bare back to the camera but my tits to him. He quickly brings it up and over my head, throwing it on the floor then quickly cups my tits and squeezes.

I gasp when he pinches both nipples then quickly turns me around so my ass was on his already hard bulge. His hands continue squeezing and I felt purely at bliss, heaven on earth even.

I lay my head back against his chest which makes him lean down and leave a kiss on my neck then suck gently on the skin as his hands continued kneading my tits.

His right hand then lets go of my boob and slowly trails down my stomach, as if easing me in, making me feel comfortable first. I grab on to his left arm and try to stand still, I already felt like I was going to go crazy and maybe fall over.

My fucking roommate was doing this- and he had such a good hand for these things so this was gonna be perfect.

His hand goes between my legs, gently rubbing my pussy through my panties. I spread my legs to help him out when he starts rubbing circles on my clit. I moan and buck my hips forward, already wanting more.

And he gives me just that, he starts going faster and I could feel my wetness seeping through the fabric of my little panties. "Miguel-"

He hums then rubs along my slit, my arousal already able to soak his fingers. How embarrassing.

He then removed his fingers making me whine until he pulls my panties down and lets them slide off my legs. I step out of them and kick them farther out, out of shot.

I spread my legs again and he doesn't hesitate to immediately start rubbing my clit again, not caring to ease me in anymore. He moans into my ear and dips his fingers on to my folds, my wetness enveloping them as he teases my hole making me grip harder onto his arm.

He moved that arm to grip on to my waist while I still held on to it for dear life. I couldn't trust myself to stand I knew I'd just end up falling and he was a big boy, he could handle me.

He then slid a finger in, slow at first until he slammed it in without warning. I gasped and clung on to his arm. He then started pumping in and out, deep and slow.

He started going faster, hitting deeper now until he fully stopped and added a second finger in. He started moving again, going faster and harder, making me a moaning mess as I looked down to watch in awe.

"Look how easy you're taking me baby." He murmurs in my ear and I couldn't help the whimper that came out of me.

"Feels so good-" I moan and he hums, pumping them even faster.

I felt myself clench against his fingers and listen to how fucking soaked I am, he barely even touched me..

"Rub your clit for me." He whispers and I nod, immediately bringing my right hand down to rub my clit in fast circles.

I moan out for him and he coos dirty little nothings into my ear as he starts curling his fingers up and hitting that sweet spot every time.

I was starting to feel my orgasm creep in already which had me shocked but then realized who was the one doing this to me...

"Fuck- Miguel-" I moan and lay my head back against him, he leans down to kiss my cheek oh so sweetly.

He then brings his open hand and starts pinching my left nipple, I felt my legs shake as he continued and I was slowly down because I was feeling so fucking close.

"Don't stop baby, be a good girl and keep rubbing that clit until you cum for me sweet girl." He murmurs and I whimper, clenching against his fingers as I rub my clit faster feeling that knot in my stomach about to burst.

"Miguel please- so cl-"

I dig my nails into his arms making him groan but he didn't say to stop. I felt my eyes growing hazier by the second and my thighs were trembling more and more by the second.

Suddenly I see white, I cry out and feel my climax crash and take over my body. I closed my eyes and almost fell to my knees, had Miguel strong arm not held me. My legs were trembling and Miguel's fingers were still inside, slowly fucking me through my orgasm.

I held onto him for dear life and start to calm my breathing down as I open my eyes, then quickly widening in pure shock, I had squirted all over the place.

I gasp and move my hand away from my clit, I stood silent, still in Miguel's arms in pure embarrassment. Squirting always felt so embarrassing, especially now because I didn't even mean to-

"That was probably the most perfect shoot I've done thus far." Miguel says making me scoff.

"I'm being so serious." He says finally taking his fingers out of me slowly and brings it up to his lips.

I tilt my head and look up, watching as he sucks on his fingers covered in my juices. Holy fuck.

I blink watching him as if in a trance, then he looks me directly in my eyes making me subconsciously squeeze my thighs together.

He takes them out with a plop and gives me a wide grin, "sorry but we have to do that again in the future...."

I laugh and look down embarrassed, I shrug and straighten up, "I guess we'll have to see if the people liked it..."

"I'm sure they will." He says and laughs.

"Let's get ya cleaned up then maybe we can watch a movie, if you'd like." He suggests and I look up at him and nod.

"That'd be perfect."

[broshot]

chubby girl chasers??? (jjk men who would LOVE to have a chubby gf!!) part 1 (part 2 link here and it's also at the end)

cw/tw: mentions of body image issues, mentions of nsfw in some (all??) parts, all characters are of age, (idk what else to put but english isn't my first language so sorry for bad writing)

---

gojo satoru

if you've ever seen my posts you could've guessed this tbh (I live love laugh gojo) he's so lovely

would hype you up NONSTOP and oh my gosh if you decide to wear more revealing clothes (or clothes that cling to your body) he'd be ON HIS KNEES worshipping you tbh

he just loves your plush and soft body SOO MUCH (he loves you as a person more ofc) but the way he can just come home after a long day and lay his head (or his whole body..) on top of you, he absolutely loves it. he loves all of you, seriously, he sees nothing wrong with you. you're perfect and he definitely tells you that too. not a day goes by without him calling you perfect.

and he loves when you dress up. tight clothes are his favourite because they allow him to see your perfect figure, and don't worry, no one would even have a chance to say anything bad about you or even look at you in a non-positive way. he's the strongest, he'll personally make sure that no one can make you feel bad about yourself.

missionary is his go to position. he wants to see your gorgeous body and gorgeous face as he fucks into you. you feel waaaay too good around him, he thinks he's lucky to be the one who gets to fuck you. you look so beautiful under him (you always look beautiful) and he's so lucky to be the only one who gets to see you like that. he's a praiser in and out of the bedroom, I swear. and if you wrap your legs around his lower body.. he loses it.

(read these fics (fic 1 is my personal fav) if you wanna know how I picture gojo in bed: fic 1, fic 2)

---

toji fushiguro

OH he would just love grabbing your plush thighs as he buries his face in between them and eats you out. would make you sit on his face (doesn't care about suffocating, he's strong so you don't weigh anything to him really). would love laying on your soft thighs and your stomach (makes you play w his hair, he's such a softie for you).

if you're insecure about yourself because of your body he'd praise the shit out of you (he'd praise you no matter what you're insecure about, if you're insecure). bro would surprisingly be your personal hype man tbh

"what did you just say about my gorgeous girlfriend? repeat that and you're dead." no one is allowed to say anything bad about you (there's nothing bad in you ((except for him, get it, nothing bad in you and he's bad and he's in you.. yeah not funny is it)) so why would anyone have the right to say anything bad). he makes you wear clothes you want to wear, makes sure you can have the style you want to have because no one should have the right to make you feel uncomfortable in clothes that you love. if you want to wear the tightest clothes there is, do it! he makes sure no one says anything to offend you or make you feel bad. he's famous of being capable of THINGS :heart: so no one would even dare to say anything but positive things about you- there's nothing but positive things about you.

---

yuuta okkotsu

bro was in love with a curse I don't think he really cares about looks LMAOO no but this man would literally love you more than anything. your weight is not a problem for him, why would it be? he loves everything about you, your personality, voice, looks, humor, style.. just everything.

his favourite thing is to fall asleep on top of you (his head is usually on top of your chest, stomach or thighs. I don't make the rules, he LOVES falling asleep on you. he's shy with his words tbh but he hypes you up despite that. you're insecure about your body? why? you're perfect, what is there to hate? he doesn't get it, you're the most gorgeous human being in the whole world. (prettier than everything else too, don't get me wrong). and he definitely will tell you what he thinks about you. endless praising tbh

he loves when you ride him; the feeling of your thighs on each side of him as he fucks his hips upwards into you?? he's in heaven, overstimulated by the pleasure and he loves it. will definitely tell you too (I'm a whiny submissive yuuta believer, he whimpers). he loves how soft you feel inside (and outside). he'll def massage your thighs when you ride him (or at least grab them).

---

megumi fushiguro

are we surprised? no we're not!

fav hypeman! he'd literally blush whenever he sees you, you're just way too out of his league (he thinks you're too gorgeous to be in love with someone like him) and he's your boyfriend?? he's the luckiest man alive.

he loves how you look all the time, especially when you're confident. if anyone dares to make you feel insecure about yourself, they will face the consequences. and trust me, no one wants to face those consequences (they're both painful and awfully humiliating. megumi knows how to make people regret things). he's shy about his feelings tbh but you'll hear endless compliments from him. he compliments you when he first sees you in the morning and throughout the day too. there won't be a day when he doesn't compliment you. he loves to see you when you're confident and loves to make you feel confident too.

and he loves your hands; he loves how they feel, he loves how they look.. he just loves your hands SO MUCH. he loves holding them and caressing them and kissing them. he loves how they feel and look around his dick...

he loves kissing you. his hands will be caressing you while his lips are sealed onto yours. if his hand is on the back of your neck, he'll softly pinch it (he loves the extra softness on it, I hope yall know what this means). he'll pinch your back too, your thighs, the sides of your stomach.. it'll definitely be a bit ticklish but you can't blame him, he loves everything about you way too much.

---

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I love chubby chasers tbh (I love chubby women pls) also I don't really like how this fic turned out but that's okay (it makes me wanna cry tbh but I hope yall enjoy!!!)

I got lazy so lmk if you want a part 2 (I have a lot of characters in mind for this)

[woozvc]

call you tonight

final (part XIX)

w/c - 1.6k + smau at the end

a/n - and this is it! after so long call you tonight has officially come to an end. I hope the last part of this clears up the eunwoo situation (reading your replies and theories made my day😭😭) and i hope this is an ending you can be satisfied with. thank you so much for all your love and patience on this series. it truly means a lot that you guys stuck around till the end even with my terrible posting schedule 🫶

previous / masterlist

this is it. this is the day.

the event started 20 minutes ago and till now, it's been a success. the auditorium is filled with laughter and dancing, courtesy of jihoons playlists.

you're currently standing at a corner just observing the entire place. a part of you feels at peace that this is finally over, the results will be out today and this is it. a part of you is also shit scared. the past few days have been a rollercoaster.

seungcheols words keep echoing in your head about how you're still important to him and he's changed. you really want to believe him. you really want to give him a-

“hey are you okay?”

you wake out of your trace by jihoons voice.

“yeah I'm fine”

“you seen a bit…distracted” he hands you a cup of lemonade. you take it with a small smile and shrug his comment off. no need to reply when he's right?

“how do you feel, you know, about your performance and all?” you look at him. he shakes his head

“I don't know. all of this feels unreal. I never thought I'd have to perform that too dance but here we are”

“doesn't it scare you?”

“obviously it does, but I find some comfort in it too. maybe it's the fact that a part of me believes taking this chance could end really well. maybe I'll finally let go of my past fears and just let myself be in the moment once.”

“hah.. that sounds nice.”

“yea I guess so. I think whatever happens tonight, I just hope I don't regret it. I want to take that risk”

you open your mouth to reply but you're interrupted by hoshis voice calling jihoon. he gives you a small smile and walks away.

right. regret. don't regret tonight. you decide to leave your spot in the corner when you see hansol walk in. being with a friend is better than being alone.

so jihoon is an amazing dancer. you were mesmerized, truly. his moves are fluid and his body doesn't miss a single beat. obviously hoshi is amazing too. his sharp and timed movements make him look like he was born for the stage.

the song is also amazing. jihoon later revealed it was called “bring it”. you'll definitely tell him to record it and send it to you.

the auditorium is a bit loud now. one hour till new year and the presidential results are about to be announced. you avoided seungcheol all night today. reason? you don't really know.

maybe you know mentally a part of you won't be able to handle his teasing if he wins. it's all friendly of course, but it doesn't change the fact you really, really want to win.

“hey y/n ready for the results?” jeonghan nudges into you and you push him off with an annoyed whine.

“jeonghan I swear if I don't win you'll have to wipe my tears”

“I won't mind that because I'll be winning”

“this is important to you huh?”

“it's my one shot to prove I'm actually good at something, can't fuck this one up”

“you dont have to prove yourself to anyone you know?”

“this is for me. I need this to tell myself I'm better than I think. I'm done always being known as the problem kid. and who knows maybe this will get me some street cred?” he winks and walks back to his group, knowing if he kept speaking, he would say something something sad and make you feel more stressed than you already do. you'd probably scold him for being so self deprecating too. your eyes follow him walking back and

oh.

seungcheol is looking directly at you. his gaze burning deep into you. you look away quickly, taking a deep breath to calm yourself. the music in the room slowly fades out.

“okay ladies and gentlemen are we ready for the most awaited moment of today?” seungkwans voice echos through the room and so does the cheering of the students.

“honestly? I'm not shocked at the result. I'm so proud of everyone who participated and made it this far. just know all of you are amazing and we as the student council and the teachers love your dedication. so first of all here are the names of the people who made it to the finals”

he starts reading off the list. there's your name and eunwoos name. after a few students he announces jeonghans name and….thats it? what?

this is surely a mistake and the entire auditorium feels so. there's chattering and confused looks all around

“ah yes, there's only 9 participants now. choi seungcheol removed his name because of some unavoidable circumstances so we divided all his votes to all the others”

your head shoots in seungcheols direction. you look at him confused and he smiles at you. he motions you to stay where you are for now. this can't be real? he can't just remove his name?

hansol taps your shoulder and tells you to focus on the stage. you look back at the stage, realizing you completely missed seungkwans dramatic speach on how much he waited for the results etc etc.

“and so, svtct, your student council president is…..y/n!”

there's screaming in the auditorium but this place has never felt so quiet. your legs are numb and your hearing is fucked. you…won? you actually did it?

“y/n go to the stage!!” jeonghan pushes you from the crowd towards the stage. you want to say something to him. you want to apologize for winning to him but

he's smiling so wide.

his eyes are genuine. he's genuinely happy you won. “don't worry about me, my favorite cousin’s win is my win” he grabs your hand and takes you to the stage.

seungkwan helps your walk onto the stage where the teachers are standing to give you your certificate and badge. you receive it, saying a small thank you to the teachers presenting and seungkwan hands you the mic

“any words president?”

any words? what the fuck even are words? you stare at the mic then back at seungkwan. you're glad you've been friends with him for so long that even without words, understands and nods at you

“I think our president wants to save the speach for during school hours to not bore us.. well I hope my speach was dramatic enough, wonwoo I'm looking at you. there's 30 minutes till new years so till then…enjoy!” he looks at jihoon to restart the music and when it does, all the eyes on you slowly move away as seungkwan leads you to the teachers.

they all congratulate you and praise you. after a while one teacher asks

“so who's going to be your vice?”

“jeonghan” there's no hesitation in your voice. the teachers seemed shocked, a bit put off too but they don't question it. they tell you good luck and let you go back to the crowd.

you stand near the stage for a bit. letting it all sink in. all these months of work, all the effort and everything worked out. even the banter with seungcheol worked- right. seungcheol.

you run back to try and find him when eunwoo bumps into you.

“hey y/n! congratulations there's no one who deserves it more than you” he gives you a smile and pat on your shoulder.

“thanks eunwoo”

“are you guys busy” you hear seungcheol behind you and immediately turn to him.

“not busy at all man” eunwoo says and walks off, winking at seungcheol while seungcheol just looks at him disgusted.

“I never liked that guy”

“why did you remove your name”

“he's always given me a bad vibe”

“you wanted this so badly”

“and he keeps flirting with-”

“choi seungcheol answer me.”

you cut him off

“answer you? okay fine. first of all don't call me by my full name. I left presidency because frankly I hate the pressure. I never wanted to be captain anyway. I got forced into it because of my grades and extra curriculars.” he takes a pause to look around the room before continuing.

”i realized I was only doing this because it was expected of me. so I left it. I rejoined the track and badminton team. that's what was important to me before and I'm going to continue it now” he says and looks at you. a small smile playing on his lips.

you're speechless. you always knew seungcheol never really liked captaincy but you didn't know till what extent. you feel bad. you feel bad for the all “why aren't you working” and “why did they make you captain” comments you said to him.

“I'm sorry seungcheol”

“for what”

“for everything”

he smiles. you realize that you're seeing his dimples after so long. he's never smiled that much in front of you before. he looks pretty.

“10 seconds guys!” yells seungkwan into the microphone. seungcheol softly takes your hand and says

“y/n, I know you haven't forgiven me”

10

“but I have to say”

8

“I've been thinking a lot”

6

“you're too important to me”

4

“I think I like you, more than friends.”

2

“can you give me a chance?”

“happy new year!” jeonghan comes and hugs you.

you have no idea how this is going to end. you're scared, terrified of this feeling but you won't let this go. you keep your grip on seungcheols hand. slowly the student council joins the hug and the rest of your friends follow. you look around. you're surrounded by people who love you, people who care for you. what could possibly go wrong?

“yeah…I'll take the risk.”

2months later :

taglist 🔖 — (thank you to you all <3)

@minhui896 @lirtha97 @haecien @thefroggybazaar @mayashu @jeonghansshitester @wonwoos-wineparty @huening-kawaii @sp1ng @wonwootakemyheart

@ddokye @thepoopdokyeomtouched @zzenkha @nishloves @weird-bookworm @sana-is-ms-rmty @immabecreepin @amxlia-stars

@peachhiz @punkhazardlaw @lockburn-castle @asyre @luchiet @ocyeanicc @wondering-out-loud @odetoyeonjun @tamcitrus @miriamxsworld @kissesfrmwonwoo @cherr-y-eji @jeoncatsworld @youre-on-your-ownkid @addicsvt @bangantokchy @tacosandbitch @sun-daddy-yoriichi @ckline35 @rakshithanotrao @isabellah29 @mangocustard16 @lone-lone-ranger @gyuguys @writingbarnes @scarlet931 @odxrilove @wonwoobestboyy @wollycobbl3-blr

[mshroom1e]

Hi! Could i request Ortho finding out that Idia's online friend and eventually crush is the reader? And eventually he tries to matchmake them?

Hello!! Sorry for disappearing for a whole 2 weeks 💀 I've been busy with life and I ended up writing this fic way longer than I ppanned to. I hope you don't mind! Also, I got really stuck on some parts and wasn't sure which direction to go with the story. Apologies if it feels a little rushed.

Pr0ject Cupid | Idia x GN! Reader

type: fanfic

Summary: A pair of painfilly awkward people get set up by a member of the said pair's little brother.

5.8k words

tags: silly fluff, mutual crushing

Warning(s): very mild swearing

no way u acc saw me

bruh i couldve seen you with my eyes closed

you dumbass u just contradicted yourself

no shit

im gonna shave your eyebrows

...

Idia stifled a laugh and couldn't hide the cheesy grin that grew on his face as his eyes read over the pixelated letters on his monitor. About 3 weeks ago, he met you on a random server, and you instantly clicked. He wasn't one to form bonds with people so quickly, whether it was online or in person, but with you, how could he resist?

You got along like Q and W on a keyboard, plus you always reciprocated his nerdy comments and never got the wrong idea about any of his intentions. The only problem was, however, that you had no idea who each other were irl.

So, one day, Idia got curious about who you really were. He ended up searching for you on Magicam using the username he knew you by. There wasn't really much he was expecting as people usually used different names for their social media compared to the more nerdy online stuff.

Idia nearly fell out of his chair when a search result popped up, and a profile with quite a few posts showed up. It was you. There was no way it wasn't you.

His heart began beating faster than usual just at reading your captions, posts of your random thoughts, and the pictures you posted. You were definitely cute, maybe the prettiest person Idia had ever seen. Even though your facial features were pixelated, you somehow managed to make them look soft and warm, like an angelic version of yourself. There were also many pictures of foods you made in the Ramshackle Dorm, selfies with your friends, and a few pictures with Grim.

Okay, now Idia was panicking. He'd never felt the way he felt right now, but from the way his heart was running a marathon and he could feel warmth slowly creeping up his face, there was only one explanation. The description matched how the characters in dating sims would feel, and this was bad. He couldn't have a cru- no no no, a c-word. No way! He didn't even want to think of the word because it would only solidify his predicament in his head.

From his panic, his finger slipped and accidentally liked one of your posts. Idia's eyes widened as he saw the damage he'd already done as his brain went into full panick mode. There was no way to undo it, even if he un-liked the post. The notification must've already gotten to your phone and you would've noticed most likely and you'd block him, think he was a stalker and never speak to him again then he'd be become even more emo and-

He changed from his usual question mark posture in his chair to sitting in a fetal position in the corner of his room, hoping for the atoms in his body to slowly merge into the wall.

His phone in his pocket vibrated, and when Idia pulled out the device to see what the notification was, his heart nearly collapsed on itself. A flinch of his arm caused his phone to be launched across his room, and for some reason, he jumped to catch it, landing on a large, disorganised pile of manga with a loud crash. He hastily unlocked his phone to see what the alert was.

'Your EP has been restored!'

Damn.

There was a smooth sliding of the door to Idia's dorm room. Ortho stood? floated? levitated? at the entrance with a confused, yet worried expression in the visible part of his face.

"Idia? I heard a loud crash, and I was worried you got injured," Ortho floated closer to his brother.

"I'm f-fine!" Idia yelped.

'Hair tinted pink, increasing heart rate, flushed cheeks,'

Ortho's eyes drifted over to Idia's several monitors until he focused on a certain one.

"Yuu's Magicam profile?"

The little robot pieced two and two together before he said, "Oh, you like [Name], don't you?"

-

This was a really, really, really bad idea...

Idia's internal panick only escalated as he was dragged walking through campus with Ortho. Leaving his dorm room usually resulted in a one-sided fight for his life as every dialogue scene he had with another person besides his brother was set to hard mode by default.

Speaking with you in person was the best way to get to know each other better, Ortho would say. The problem was, Idia knew that you didn't know who he was, so it would probably be strange to suddenly have him speaking to you.

He was lost in his panicky thoughts when he felt someone bump into him, and he felt his body tipping back. (So unique and never seen before, I know.)

A hand quickly grabbed his wrist, hoisting him back upright. Ortho sent you a beaming smile with his eyes before quickly disappearing and leaving you alone with his brother, leaving the beanstalk to fend for himself.

Idia's heart nearly flipped in his stomach as he met your eyes. You let go of his wrist when he regained his balance, he almost fell over again.

"Careful," you smiled.

In his eyes, you looked like a panel from a manhwa where the love interest was introduced with flowers, sparkles, and glitter radiating around them.

"S-sorry," He managed to spit out, somehow sounding cohesive.

"It's okay, I just hope you didn't get hurt, I tend to grab onto stuff a little too tightly," you said with a sheepish chuckle.

Your laugh. Idia's ears felt blessed with such a delicate angelic sound. Like bells chiming in his ears, more harmonic than the songs from his favourite idol group's no.1 album. His heart was sent into overdrive, and he couldn't take it anymore and decided on the most rational option in his currently mushy brain.

To run.

So he ran.

You watched his retreating form with a fond look before you turned to face Ortho, who hid in a nearby bush and sent him a thumbs up.

This was progress, at least.

- A few days ago -

You had a crush on Idia. A huge one at that. There was no debate. You didn't even bother denying it.

You knew he rarely left his dorm room, so you barely saw him during the day. Seeing a flash of flamey blue hair dart around a corner just before you could fully get a look at the twitter logo-coloured candle always managed to make your heart squeeze and an undefeatable grin etch itself on your face.

Of course, a few days into talking to your new online friend, you already knew of his true identity but chose not to inform him of the fact. From what you'd seen on campus, he was the type of person to prefer engaging with others through the comfort of a screen rather than conversing face to face. And honestly, you couldn't blame him at all. It must've felt so stifling to always be conscious of the way you carried yourself, while choosing words carefully to not offend the person in front of you or make them think badly of you while simultaneously looking like a sane, functioning person.

So, you talked to him like an online friend would. After a few days of getting to know each other through public servers and direct messaging, you soon shared your interests and found common ground in a few of them. For example, you both were addicted to gacha games with diabolocal pity systems. He also started to open up to you, though you thought it was a little fast, but people tend to share a lot when speaking to someone through pixels on a screen as they felt more at home. He talked about his struggles when interacting with people and his constant anxiety about how people perceived him.

Being someone of minimal social intelligence, the most you could do was offer some general words of comfort about how everyone was different in their own way and some people are just more advantaged in certain aspects of life, social interaction being one of them.

As your feelings grew, you couldn't help but feel like your relationship was a little one-sided. You knew who exactly you were talking to, but as far as Idia knew, he was talking to and building a relationship with a person who could've been miles and miles away and he also barely knew who [Name] was.

Man, this really sucked.

- Yesterday -

Ortho was smart. It was only obvious since his mechanical brain had the efficency of a computer with infinite RAM. He knew his brother had met a new friend online, which explained his less gloomy aura and his anxious glances at his phone whenever they were in his room together.

It didn't take long for Ortho to learn that the person Idia was talking to also attended the same school. In his mind, he viewed finding out things about you as a way to further protect his older brother from harm.

Fast forward to later that day, Ortho cornered found you in the courtyard after you'd lost a bet with Grim and had to buy him a drink from a nearby vending machine.

He called out to you enthusiastically as he practically teleported to you, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

Long story short, Ortho figured out how you felt about Idia, and he was over the moon. His brother finally had someone who he could happily spend time with, and he couldn't be happier for him. He knew Idia better than anyone, and it was certain that getting close to Idia in face-to-face terms would take a lot for him to get used to and he decided it would be best to slowly ease your way into making conversations with him without being forceful or overwhelming him.

Thus began your joint conspiracy to rizz up get to know Idia better.

- Present -

It took about a day for you to come to the conclusion that you'd most likely never see Idia during school hours whether he was on campus or not. Your schedules were so unmatched that it was ridiculous. When you had a lesson in the alchemy labs, he'd be in a P.E lesson and when you were in the history of magic, he'd be in some classroom that might as well be at the other side of Sage's Island.

Luckily for you, Ortho informed you about Idia's current whereabouts. He was in the Board Game Club's classroom, probably playing- you guessed it- board games. It felt like some sort of secret stealth mission, plotting where to catch Idia with Ortho so sneakily. You just hoped that this silly plot would work.

Now that you were in front of the clubroom's door, you had no idea what to do. Your brain already left your body shortly after your heart that was beating a mile a minute and had long since jumped out of your chest to who knows where. You'd worked so hard to get to this point (not really) and now that you were here, what were you going to do?

Showing up at his clubroom unannounced totally sounded like stalker behaviour from some poorly written fanfic, and you definitely were not about that life. What if you just entered casually? Did you have a friend in the board game club? Probably not since you didn't even know the names of the people in your homeroom class, save for Adeuce and Grim.

Deciding to swallow your nerves and whatever other anxiety that was clogging your airways, you calmly slid open the door. Surprisingly, the club had quite a few members present, but it wasn't too densely populated. Your eyes immediately lit up when familiar floaty blue flames caught your attention. He was alone on a table next to one of the room's walls. His usual board gaming partner, Azul, was nowhere to be seen. It was safe to assume he was somewhere exploiting some poor unfortunate soul of all their mortal possessions with his buy-one-get-one-free pair of henchmen.

You approached Idia, more nervous than a turkey the day before Thanksgiving. He noticed you and almost jumped out of his own skin.

Was he dreaming? If not, why else would you show up at the board game club? Before he knew it, he started to sweat. Every step you took closer to him made his poor heart run laps. The confident (Idia's POV. This does not accurately reflect current events.) stride in your step, and the smile you gave him as you approached made his face heat up, and the tips of his hair grow warmer. His flight- please there is absolutely no fight- instinct almost took over as he considered running out of the room at full speed.

There was no Ortho to help him communicate if he ended up having to talk to you. He was all alone for this pop-up Pokemon battle.

A random board game caught your eye, and you picked it up, deciding to use it as a shield to not let your conversation get stabbed in the chest by the painful spear called awkwardness.

"Hi, Idia." You said casually with your usual grin. 'Great start'

You failed to catch Idia's mortified expression as it disappeared as suddenly as it arrived. He opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't get any words out. To his surprise, you didn't seem to mind his silence and just sat down in the chair across from his.

"Sorry to bother you," you continued, "If you want me gone, just say the word." The second part was intended to be lighthearted as you let out a low chuckle after you were done talking.

He quickly scrambled into his bag and pulled out a slim, grey tablet, and began to type.

"I don't mind you being here at all, [Name]." A voice from the device's speakers that sounded too much like Idia's said. You weren't all too shocked since you'd seen him use it around school a few times and had even seen the thing floating around campus by itself. You'd just never have a conversation with "it".

"Woah, is that a voice program?Did you make it yourself? I've only seen it being used for vocaloids, and even those mess up a few times. Did you use a sample of your voice? Is everything prerecorded? If you-" You blurted out, quickly smacking a hand over your mouth to shut yourself up before you could ramble any further.

Great job, [Name].

Idia's eyes lit up with surprise at your words as he quickly started typing something on his screen. His features moulded into a proud smirk, "Yeah, it's made with a sample of my voice. I made it using a vocaloid as a reference."

"Really?!" You almost jumped out of your seat, eyes practically shining with stars. Gosh, he really was so cool.

He nodded frantically as the tips of his firey hair faded into a warmer hue. Students in his dorm had the same base interests as he did. However, he was almost always too nervous to initiate a conversation with any of them. But with you, the nervousness he felt didn't try to suffocate him for once and instead felt like a sweet, comfy flutter in his chest.

"I found this when I walked into the room, and it looked fun. Wanna play?" Your short exchange feuled you with a little more confidence as you built the courage to ask him to play a board game with you.

You hadn't even looked at the game's cover before picking it up. Imagine your surprise at finding out you'd picked up "Monopoly Bass Fishing Edition".

Great job.

Now, Idia probably saw you as some weird fish-obsessed kid (no offence to Octavinelle) who probably looked up how to make bass fishing bait in their spare time. The cover was hideous. A massive bass fish was in the middle, surrounded by loops of smaller bass fish all saying things in speech bubbles where the letters were modelled to look like bass fish. To top it all off, there was a massive glittery title in the colour of neon orange that said, "Monopoly: Bass Fishing Edition." Underneath in equally as eye tormenting sentence bordered off by a wiggly pink line that read "Get ready to be schooled!" Get it? Coz groups of fishes are called schools-

This was going to be painful.

You liked to think you knew all the rules of Monopoly by heart. Especially after seeing relationships crumble over the neverending board game.

Idia didn't seem phased, so you assumed he already knew the rules of the game, too.

You played for a bit, taking turns to roll a double to see who could start first. The first to roll a double was eventually Idia, so he took the first turn.

-

You knew Idia was competitive from the way he would obliterate the opposition during your online meet-ups in matches. What you didn't expect was to end up going bankrupt after only a few loops around the board. It took a while for you to accept defeat, but after seeing the small, triumphant smile that gently made its way onto Idia's face, any loss was worth it.

Now that you looked around the room, most of the board game club members had long since departed, and it was only you and your blue-haired friend left in the room. A blanket of quiet and slight awkwardness fell over the two of you as you both looked at anything but each other.

"We should uh, but the pieces away," you suggested.

He looked at you, a little surprised at your sudden breach of silence, before he quickly nodded. "R-Right."

After stiffly putting the pieces away, occasionally flinching when the tips of your fingers made contact as you passed some game pieces between yourselves, there wasn't much else for you to do despite twiddling your thumbs. From an outsider's point of view, the aftermath was painfully awkward as neither of you had anything to say. Sitting in silence wasn't always a bad thing, but come on.

Your brain frizzled as you tried to think of something, anything to say to start a conversation.

"Nice weather we're having today." So creative.

As if the universe was saying a big "f*ck you", there was a loud rumble of thunder outside the window before massive raindrops began to smack on to the grass and pavement outside, each with a louder 'plap!' than the previous one each time.

Idia giggled before trying to hold back a laugh, which eventually turned into even more giggles. You stared at him for a few seconds, stunned. You hadn't actually heard him laugh before as he always looked so terrified around you. Sure, he was laughing at your stupidity, but this was a start, right?

It didn't take long for you to join in, laughing at yourself too.

Maybe coming to his clubroom on impulse wasn't so bad after all.

-

"Sam's store is releasing this SSR-tier set of trading cards today, and I have to go get it," Idia muttered to himself as he scurried down a hallway of the Ignihyde dorm. "No one's gonna that early, especially since it's not gonna attract any normies-"

"But what if there's a whole mob of NPCs there? Worst case scenario is a few of them showing up to do some early morning shopping, so grabbing what I need and skidadling outta there is gonna be ez."

Ortho was most likely in his room resting at this hour, so Idia decided not to bother him. Besides, it was only a trip to the school store. He should be fine, right?

Wrong.

It was not ez peasy.

It just happened to be that the same day Idia's treasured ultra rare cards were released on the same day as Sam's new mystery drink that the whole school went crazy for. By the time Idia was about to leave the store after paying for what he came for, the whole area was packed, and it was almost impossible to move. Waves of students rushing to the till after grabbing a bottle of the new beverage washed over the store grounds.

People, people, people, and more people. Sweaty teenagers seemed to fight tooth and nail just to get their hands on a bottle. It was like the kids from the UK when Prime was launched. (iykyk) Everywhere he turned, he seemed to bump into another 3 people and get elbowed by another five. The sheer power of the crowd almost swept him off his feet, and he felt himself being dragged to the opposite direction from where he was headed. He reached his hand out to grab at something, while the other held his cards close to his chest, but there was nothing to hold onto for support. The only option was to become one with the crowd.

As he was about to give up and accept his fate, his outstretched hand was tugged on by a familiar, gentle yet firm grip, which felt like he was being pulled ashore after drifting off into the ocean. Idia's body was pulled upright and into a much less crowded space. A pleasant warmth spread across his chest as he saw the face of his saviour.

A part of him felt mortified while the other felt relieved. He was glad to have been pulled out of the sea of people, but he felt a little lame to have to have been saved by someone else, as if he couldn't handle himself. Another reason, the more obvious one, was because it was you. In his point of view, you always showed up at random times and ended up helping him without realising how much of an impact your actions held.

"I'm getting this feeling of deja vu," you smiled, leading Idia to a bench opposite the store.

"You helped me again-" Idia muttered, his eyes downcast.

You tilted your head, a little confused, "Hm?"

"N-No, it's not that I have a proble-" He cut himself off, "I, um-"

How did he manage to talk himself into a corner like this? Trying to talk to you felt like a puzzle with the myriad of emotions all rushing through his head at once, and he was bound to mess up somewhere.

"Don't sweat it," you responded. Your smile unwavering.

For whatever reason, Idia's anxious jumble of words never phased you. Your willingness to let him take his time when talking to you gave him a sort of confidence, and he could hope to speak with confidence that he didn't even know he was capable of.

A ray of reflected early morning sunlight that bounced off the shiny packaging of what Idia held securely in his hands and it caught your eye.

"Is that (insert game reference here)?!" Your voice cracked as you said the name of the franchise.

The mood was instantly lightened at your change in focus, and Idia felt himself get giddy. He was so happy to share a conversation with someone who wasn't a so-called "normie."

His excitement faded though, a bit, when he looked up to find that you looked slightly disappointed. You looked at Idia in confusion, but shrugged.

You sighed, looking away.

Why were you disappointed? Was it something he did? Oh no, what if you thought he was lame for getting trapped in a crowd like that, and you actually thought he was such a bother the whole time-

"I still haven't managed to get my hands in a copy," you frowned.

"Oh," He sounded stunned, which confused you. "Um, I-" He swallowed, fighting the urge to pull his hood over his head and hide.

"I mean-" Idia's eyes seemed to glance at everything and everywhere other than at you.

His breath caught in his throat, and the feeling multiplied by a gazillion when he saw Ortho watching him from behind a tree. He almost choked on whatever air he'd just managed to inhale into his trachea.

To make matters worse, Ortho held a cute but terrible made neon blue glittery banner that said, "Talk to them, Idia!!!"

Wasn't he resting?

The poor nerd (affectionate) wanted to evaporate on the spot.

"What were you about to say?" You asked, not seeing the silliness behind you.

Idia glanced back and forth between you and Ortho, wishing with every single bone in his body that the 50/50 gacha in front of him right now would go his way and you wouldn't turn around at all.

Imagine his horror when you followed his worryingly mortified gaze, and he saw our eyes widen a fraction, and you slapped a hand over your mouth.

"Ortho?"

He panicked for a good few seconds before he did what he did best and bolted away from you with a stubborn blush creeping up his neck.

"Huh?Wait up!" You called after him, but it was futile.

Ortho soon waved happily at you as he followed Idia back to what you assumed was the Ignihyde dorm.

-

"Where did you-" Idia began, speedwalking to the Hall of Mirrors with more agility than he knew his G-fuel filled body could possess.

"I did some research, and it showed that people your age have a 60% more chance at talking to someone they like when they're encouraged by someone else!" Ortho chirped with the certainty of the sun rising in the east.

"I'm not- It's not-" Idia couldn't find the words to use to retort at his younger brother. The way his sunny amber eyes shimmered with glee was enough to punch the words of protest that Idia could ever muster right down the drain. "J-Just tone it own a notch next time..." He finished with a small frown.

"Okay!" Ortho sang, floating into Ignihyde's mirror after the older Shroud.

Idia signed and pulled the strings of his hoodie tighter to conceal his face more. Now that you were somewhat aware of how he felt about you, he had no idea how to face you the next day.

-

It had been over a week, and you'd gotten no contact from Idia or Ortho. It was safe to assume that Idia probably didn't leave his room a single time in that time frame. A metaphorical banner was built between you as he had practically gone AWOL on everything you could use to contact him. So, you couldn't even talk to him with your online persona and try to understand how he felt by hoping he'd confide in his online bestie even a little. Not that you wanted to intrude on his privacy, but the fact that things seemed to be falling apart between you two before you properly even got to know each other hurt a lot more than th fact that you convinced yourself of- the fact that it looked like he didn't want to see you again. You sighed, closing your computer.

This was pointless. No doubt, he doesn't feel the same way towards you, and you really should start accepting it. Maybe he thought you were strange? Or it was creepy that you always seemed to be around when he was in trouble? Maybe he thought you were a stalker? He'd probably figured out your online identity and blocked you, hence the lack of activity on any of his accounts over the last week and a bit.

But you couldn't accept it. Not until you know more, and you don't think it'll help if you keep prying at the subject, especially since it won't do any good in the end. It was useless to keep trying. You grabbed your phone and checked the screen for any messages, but there were none. You put it back on the nightstand and turned on your side, burying your face in your pillow.

You lay there for what felt like forever and eventually fell asleep.

-

Morning soon arrived, and you woke up to a series of knocks at the main door of Ramshackle Dorm. The quick thuds of knuckles striking wood resounded throughout the whole bottom floor of the building, probably enough to alert your cat roommate out of his venture into Dream Land.

The perpetrator was definitely unexpected. It was a fine weekend, and you hadn't been expecting a visit from anyone at all, especially not the younger Shroud brother.

Rubbing your eyes and letting out a yawn as you opened the door, you had to squint to see something else other than a mop of flickering blue and a white block.

"Ortho?" You blinked. Your statement sounded more like a question to yourself than to the other party.

"Good morning!" Ortho said cheerfully, waving with one arm while balancing an assortment of books and various games under the other. He was carrying four plastic bags full of stuff, including a large bowl with some cereal, milk, eggs, toast, fruit, and orange juice inside it.

"Err..." you replied.

"We came to hang out!" Ortho cheered, which confused you even more.

"What? And who's 'we'??" You questioned all at once, not even knowing where to begin.

"Idia wants to apologise for running away from you for the past week. He said he's really sorry and did it because he was scared," he rambled on with his usual cheery tone and pointed to a nearby tree, "And we brought food!"

Behind said tree stood said Idia, holding onto the tree's bark with a grip for dear life while only the top half of his face peeked out.

What.

- Flashback to earlier -

"Now, what do I do? This is demon mode difficult- I'd rather fight Absolute Virtue from the original release of FF11 all over again for 16 hours straight than face them again... Can I get an F in the chat for this one..." Idia mumbled to himself in a string of incomprehensible gibberish as he sat in a fetal position at the corner of his room while his hood covered his entire head, and he rocked back and forth.

"This is the worst-"

"Cheer up, Idia!" Ortho handed him a charger, "You can always talk to them online if it helps!"

"At this point, they've probably forgotten about me. People's online friends get Men in Black'ed from their brains all the time. I'll just look like some weird guy that goes,'Hey kids!wanna to get free RAM for your computer?' or something-" his rampant thoughts only dug him further into his self-made pit of despair.

"Hmm," Ortho pondered, "Let's go see them!"

"Are you kidding?! No way!" He shook his head rapidly and started rocking himself even faster, "If they don't see me, maybe they'll even forget I exist and I can become one with the void..."

"Don't be ridiculous, Idia. We can go see them right now!" Ortho hovered around, gathering a bunch of gaming equipment and books, "Hanging out like friends will get rid of any tension in the air!"

"No!" Idia protested, but it was too late.

He'd already been picked up by a robotic arm, and off they went.

-

"That's pretty much what happened," Ortho recalled as you lead the pair the lounge.

"Right... But I still don't get how that means he's sorry..." You muttered.

"Why don't you tell them, Idia?" Ortho looked at his brother, "I'll leave you two to talk here while I make some snacks!"

The older Shroud twiddle his fingers and stared at the floor, his hood still covering his head.

It took a few seconds of silence before Idia began talking.

"Uh," he spoke quietly and cleared his throat twice before proceeding, "I was so stupid."

"Huh?" You said, gaping at Idia.

"I know I've done stupid things, but this was beyond stupid. Like, way too stupid! Noob at Subway Surfers level of stupid!" He babbled on, his voice cracking with uncharacteristic emotion.

He took a deep, shaky breath and closed his eyes, attempting to compose himself. His hair turning pink. "I kept telling myself it was okay for us to keep being friends online even though I found your Magicam page and accidentally liked one of your posts and knew who you were but you didn't know who I was and I felt guilty and then you suddenly showed up then I realised I l-l-like you and then that thing at the shop happened and you probably thought it was so cringe-"

Then it clicked. So he thought you thought he was weird? He didn't hate you.

It felt like a huge weight was lifted off your chest.

Then, you chuckled, snickered, giggled, then let out waves of laughter. Idia stared at you, dumbfounded.

"This whole time, haha, I thought I was the one who did something wrong."

"No! You didn't," He quickly jumped in.

"Wait, you just said that you like me...?" You pointed to yourself, and you felt your face grow warm.

Silence landed like a wall of pure steel between the two of you.

He gaped at you with wide eyes. Dang it! He seriously didn't mean to blurt that part out loud. Curse him and his tendency to blab everything he thought aloud as soon as he started talking!

Idia covered his reddened face with his hands.

"What a coincidence," you smiled, "Since I like you too."

You gently pulled his hands away from his face and gave him your brightest grin. He froze as soon as your skin made contact, and his breathing quickened, his hair turned a full, passionate pink.

"Ahahahaha...!" He stammered.

A sudden noise filled both the room, followed by a long silence, causing the both of you to turn towards the source. Your heads turned in sync to see Ortho standing at the door with a camera after it let out a painfully loud 'click!'

He gave the pair of you a huge smile with his eyes.

"For memories' sake!" He cheered.

-

Bonus

After you'd made breakfast together with the ingredients that the brothers brought, you, Idia and Ortho, sat in a triangle on the floor, while Grim watched lazily from the sofa. It was more of a joint interrogation performed against the little robot with Grim serving as an audience.

"So, Ortho, you knew Idia already knew who I was?" You raised an eyebrow, "And you knew about how he felt??"

"And you already knew that they liked me? And you knew they knew who I was and didn't tell me??" Idia squeaked, "And you told them to come to the store that day?!"

Ortho picked up a controller and was suddenly immersed in gameplay.

"Haha..." He sweatdropped.

[g-xix]

NSFW ALPHABET W GINGE I BEG

AngryGinge13 NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Crazily physically affectionate. He just wants to lie about and hug you, cuddle you, shower you in kisses and affection... He literally koala hugs you- wrapping his legs around you and all, putting on a movie in the back and not watching it at all, just hugging you

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Right, I can confirm that your favourite body part of his is his arse. Bro is absolutely CAKED. As for you, I reckon he just loves your face. So pretty, so perfect, so gorgeous- likes nothing more than seeing you smile. The crinkles of your eyes, the glimpse of your teeth, the pure affection radiating in your eyes- how couldn't he just be obsessed with your face.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) This man has 2 motives. Either pulling out before he finishes and finishing ON your core rather than inside you, because he thinks it's looks prettier… Or he'll finish inside of you, before pressing his hand down onto your stomach so that he watched his cum spill out from your hole (creampie!😜)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) Kinda likes it when you're bratty. When you test him a bit, push his boundaries, tease him a bit... You love seeing him get all riled up and bothered because he treats you so much rougher + harsher and it just makes it so much better for the two of you

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) Wasn't really very experienced. I reckon he's not too old yet and hasn't had the most experience but that's never been a problem because you never really knew what you were doing at first either. When you went on holiday at one point though, you and Ginge were just messaging, keeping in touch... And Ginge dropped that he's been reading up and finding out how to get better. You came back from holiday and the first time he gave you head after that, you were absolutely MINDLESS, just completely fucked out because GAHDAYYUM whatever he'd read up on had saved his entire career.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Missionary or cowgirl. Depends on who wants it more at the time to be honest- if you're horny then you have him on his back whilst you bounce on his cock, whereas if he's in the mood then he has you with your back against the bed whilst he's pounding into you. Either way, the two of you aren't big fans of doggy- he likes seeing your face whilst he's fucking you, and you like being able to touch him when the two of you are doing it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) Probably not very goofy, I don't think he's the type to say a joke mid-sex.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) Copper bollocks (nuff said)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) That little bit of praise he gives is what makes it intimate, because it takes your mind away from the horny-clouded-mind and just gives you that glow of appreciation + thought of fuck, i'm so happy he's my boyfriend

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) One time was just having a wank in front of his PC, eyes closed because he was using imagination (yeah, bold, ik) and you walked in. Instantly he's horrified, pulling his joggers up, wiping his hand, jumping up. You're just as shocked as well, and apologise profusely whilst he lets out shrieks of his own... Until you look to his PC and see he's got Fifa still pulled up and was customising his own character. He'd fucked up the proportions (likely purposefully) so that the character had a hairline receding further back than the 8yards and eyes drooped lower than the player's nose... You began breaking down laughing at the assumption that Morgan had been sat having a wank to that disproportionate character of his own creation, which he profusely denied- but couldn't get a word in sideways and explain himself as you began crying from laughter. You still bring that up sometimes.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Pain, but just a bit. Like, he doesn't want to have you crying... But smacking your thighs when he plants his head between them just to hear you let out a gasp of surprise, or pinching your nipples just a bit harder so that you moan his name breathily- he loves the aspect. Even receiving; when your nails run down his back like claws, leaving angry red trails in their wake- or when your thighs squeeze around your head, making him feel as though his head might explode any minute- it's all so hot for him.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Caaaar 🚨🚨. You two were always running to get back to the bedroom when the two of you have been out and getting heated up... Until you tried car sex. That was a WHOLE new realm unlocked, and the two of you loved it. It stopped the time needed to rush upstairs to the bedroom with one simple button that flattened the driver's seat and allowed you to crawl over the panel and into the space between his thighs, giving him head in the driver's seat. Every seat in that car has been used to it's fullest potential; receiving head in the passenger seat, riding him in the backseats- fuck, one time you two just drove to the middle of nowhere and he had you bent over the boot getting it from behind

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) You wanting it and being horny. Whenever you're horny and want him you're a lot more touchy. Whether that be your hand sitting on his thigh, plucking at the hem of his shorts as if you wanted to rip them off right then and there- or pressing your body flush against him to whisper into his ear something with a little laugh- your voice landing cool on his skin and making him get goosebumps as he finds himself just waiting for the time he gets to take you home.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Bum stuff. He doesn't want to do anal or eat the arse- he's very much against that and tbf, no problem with that at all. You once joked about the fact that the only reason he doesn't want to touch your arse is because he wants you to touch HIS arse instead... The stink eye he gave you had you wheezing as he yelled BLOCKED, and, YOU'RE BANNED FROM MY LIFE

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) Loves a good blow. Thing is, he LOVES being between your legs and giving head, and that's what he does more often, because he genuinely likes and wants to give head. He really loves that skull-crushing pressure, the feeling of your fingers threading through his hair and pulling it harshly whilst his name rolls of your tongue so huskily... But the thing is, when you give a bj, he enjoys it SO much more, because like him- you only blow him because you actually want to- and seeing you so desperate and enthusiastic, undoing his belt hastily as though you really couldn't wait, before giving the most MINDBLOWING HEAD... It's just incomparable how good getting head feels, especially with you- even if it is more rare for you to be giving the head.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) I reckon he's a medium pace, but he's SO fucking rough with it. Every. Thrust. Is. Hitting. HARD. He'll pull out slowly, almost teasingly, before slamming back in so roughly your whole body shakes, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix and making all your limbs feel weak as he quite literally POUNDS you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Not massive on doing a quickie because either of you are just a bit turned on. No, you two go and do whatever you have to do (oftentimes riling and teasing one another up if the two of you are out together) before returning and fucking. The thought of a quickie- fucking and then going your separate ways and on with your days- just feels really detached and weird to him.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) Doesn't mind a bit of risky experimenting, but doesn't like if you were to come up to him with something and say "wanna experiment with this?" because it is a bit of a mood killer when you already know what's coming... He prefers when you've already got your top off, his trousers pulled down, and you pull something from beneath the bed with a little grin and suggest putting it on/trying it. 10x hotter for the both of you. That being said, he wouldn't do anything that's genuinely seriously risky like going no condom or airplay or any of that.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) Could go another one if your reaally wanted, but he will can go for a LONG time in one round- he doesn't finish quick yk. Like, he could have you cum on his dick twice before he's cumming, and that's not even because he's trying. I reckon he puts you through more rounds anyways- he'd rather eat you out first, then fuck you and see how many rounds you can go before your legs are shaking and you physically can't do any more if you want to be able to walk the next day.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) Doesn't have toys, doesn't want toys, doesn't like toys. Makes him cringe and feel all uneasy seeing those cock rings and milker-machines. No, he's quite happy with a hand or a sock 😐😕

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Not much to be honest, I think you're the tease more than him- giving tiny kitten licks to his cock and grinding down on him, making him wait it out before you slip him in... Yeah, he moreso deals with your teasing rather than teasing you

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Let's out "oh fucking hell" in a low voice when he first thrusts in, which always has you weak in the knees when you hear him say it- voice deep and husky as you feel his grip tighten around your waist, the stretch you feel only making you moan even more as you feel him bottoming out (Cheers @elijahssuit for this idea)

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) Bit of a two-sided praise kink. He also lets out groans and praises whilst he's inside, just telling you feel so good and muttering you're so beautiful under his breath because he just loves letting you know how good you feel and making sure you know how good you are... And when you're getting head or something, he likes you moaning his name LOUD, and whimpering little praises of your own to him, just affirming how good he makes you feel (And thanks @fixalice for this idea)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) I wanna say that he'd be above average because my god does Ginge emit BDE. What does he emit more, though?: G I R T H. I feel like he'd have a manageable length, but the girth of that WEAPON is always a stretch you can't resist

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Not all that high really, he's not thinking about it constantly or coming over to you because he's horny... Mainly it's if you're horny, because you're quite obvious about it when you start getting more touchy, he feels himself getting turned on then, and ends up having to count the seconds down before he can take you home to fuck you senseless

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Probably quite quickly. Holds you and starts breathing slow, probably matches his breathing to yours until he's asleep holding onto you- oftentimes you don't even realise he's fallen asleep- too busy threading your hands through his hair and watching the movie you'd put in the background

---------------

DAMN love that ginge guy. Proper hot, i'nt he? NSFW felt a bit different to write for him bc icl i dont acc watch that much of his content (ive been trying to do moreso recently) but he's still fine ig 🤭

Cheers to alice n elijahhsuit for the ideas again, if anyone else has ideas for fics or HC's then drop them in my inbox and ill deffo incorporate them sometime 💋💋

Hope you enjoyed reading!! Feel free to interact- whether that be a comment, vote or follow! Requests open, feel free to submit what u wanna see... Much love!!

To see more, here's my MASTERLIST

And here's my WATTPAD, with 50+ more oneshots to read

[maopll]

May I request Albedo, Xiao, Kaeya and Zhongli with a female reader who can manipulate blood?

Y/N THE LAST BLOOD BENDER

| genshin impact !

⌗:, a/n: The title is satire. i couldn't think if anything else 💀. this is the most characters I've ever written

⌗:, warning: mentions of b!ood,, suggestive in childe part(ofc..)

⌗:, pairings: albedo, xiao, kaeya, zhongli, childe, ayato, itto, heizou, w/ fem!reader.

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 . ✧ ˚ 　· 　　 . ✧ ˚ 　· 　　 . ✧ ˚ 　· 　　

ALBEDO was truly intrigued by your ability to wield a vision that also allows you to control the blood of another. truly a fascinating ability you wield. since he is an alchemist he would like to learn more about your powers. the techniques, the pros and cons, and since its specially yours so in any case he should know if any problems arise during battles.

since you can control blood you are able to freely regulate the heat of bodies of people who you have touched so in dragonspine you can keep both klee and sucrose warm since albedo won't really be needing it...but its a great ability! during battles he does not have to worry about you getting hurt since you barely have to sweat out while defeating enemies because you are strong just like that. always keeps some time of the day to analyse your ability since it interests him so much! he was quite surprised knowing how it was inherited throughout your family. all in all he is genuinely interested but also quite worried since it can wear you out a lot especially if you use your ultimate so he is always looking out for you if you're uncomfortable. 8.7/10 boyfriend <3

XIAO here was freaking out when you used your ability during a battle and honestly he thought those blood marks on the ground were yours and he was breathing heavily. he was so worried :( poor boy thought you were dying and he just can't take the thought of you slipping away from him. but you reassured him saying that that was the hilichurl and mitachurl blood. although some of them were yours you thought it best to not tell him.

he was surprised since that was when he first found out you had special abilities like so. he was still worried so he went to consult zhongli and looks like it was a very special ability that you weilded! now it was your job to tell him about all the limitations of this ability and the problems that you sometimes face while using your ultimate like chest pain or so. but he does think you look really cool when fighting those opponents with ease...its not even weird cause he is a literal demon. but he takes great care of you ever since he heard about your problems. very good he is trying his best!

KAEYA saw your abilities when you were pissed off because a hilichurl literally ruined your date. you just looked at it, moved your hand towards the hilichurl who was going to pounce at you and boom. the next moment the hilichurl is gone. cavalry captain was still processing the moment before his eyes. when he was hit with a cold wind up his spine. he cartoonically shivered and also had that sweat bead on his head. he was TERRIFIED

he was kinda scared of you how much you could snap only if someone just started to disturb your date. so now you had some explaining to do and this dude really said "aww my sweetheart is so strong, you're my knight in shining armour I could always count on you" and while that did inflate your pride you knew he was teasing you. you nudged him and continued onwards with your date. he still does tell you about that day but not enough to anger you lest you might snap...

ZHONGLI just glanced at your eyes and IMMEDIATELY knew you had some special powers or abilities. grandpa knows his history well. when you one day did tell him about this ability of yours he just said "oh I knew" you were confused. how did he? he has his ways just don't question he will give you a 4 hour case study of it.

you knew zhongli's identity so he must know more about this ability to control blood and also wield a hydro vision and he did knew. he told you everything about the limitations which thank the archon happened only when you used burst or you were sure you were having your days numbered. you can always ask your lover for extra details incase you are wondering about something. man's a walking talking dictionary. however when you did spill other enemies blood on the battlefield when with him, he would get tensed thinking it was your blood. he knows about the disadvantages of your power and he is not ready to loose another one of his cherished ones just because he couldn't protect them. he sometimes has sleepless nights but he knows how strong willed you are so he sets his worries aside for the night because you are here, with him, right beside him

CHILDE was fighting off some enemies when you two were out taking care of some commisions that you needed help and this was the first time you asked him for help because you don't really need help but this could also be used as a way for spending time with him and I just know that and will bet my life on the fact that he will just stare at you in awe thinking that you look as beautiful as a painting as you took care of enemies one by one all while spilling their blood and staring at their limp bodies with cold eyes. he was having a huge blush and...uh well a boner... he just gets hard whatever has you looking cold and heartless okay?? he has a weak heart when it comes to you

He will not stop singing his praises for you "you looked so pretty covered in blood baby!" "you took care of them so fast!" "I just wanted to marry you on the spot!" "you are so lovely I'm glad you are my girlfriend" and so on and so forth. but deep down he was genuinely taking you as a comrade of his for sparring. he would always ask you to spar with him just to see how you skillfully wield the blood and hydro together in balance. bro just wanna fight that's it.

AYATO was observing inazuma from afar since he was supposed to be meeting with some shuumatsuban members later but he did not think he would be ambushed by a bunch of fatui later. he is a capable swordsman but let's be real anyone would freak out if they get jumpscated by some mask wearing dudes and so was he. luckily you were passing by and you noticed him ofcourse you can't have him getting beaten up or worse! so you quickly used your burst and you were coughing up a shit ton later because it consumes a lot of your energy. he was so grateful to you for the day.

He even asked if you were injured or not since he saw blood thinking it was yours, but he was really taken surprised when those were not. he hasn't heard of any abilities which were like yours or similar. he would definitely love to know more since it would also become a bonding time for you two considering how both of you can spend any time at all. since it's an ability he hasn't heard of before he would do the necessary research work just in case you will need it. he cares for you deeply and doesn't want anything to happen to you. look I'm biased

ITTO is a bullchucker. do you think he would even rack his brain to think whether you actually have any abilities or not? ofcourse no. he thinks he is your bodyguard and you only need him to protect you while you relax and watch the show. nevertheless when he was getting beaten up by some enemies you turned the tables on him by helping HIM out of troubles reach. thanks y/n. he was cowering in fear until you told him that everything has been taken care of. he will never admit that he was scared. there was blood everywhere but he didn't even understand what was going on. he is that dumb okay? but while on the way to hanamizaka, everything finally loaded into his mind and he asked in a high pitched voice "WAS THAT YOUR BLOOD BABE?!". you told him to relax cause he was ready to sprint towards whatever doctor was nearby and yes he was THAT worried.

He wasn't going to listen to you until you smacked him hard into reality. and he only said, "Oh." Okay, good, good progress. then it was all forgotten since you said you would be fine. he blindly believes whatever you say. but if you do feel sick or feel pressure around your chest area due to overuse of your abilities he will take you to the doctor to check you otherwise he will check you up himself. dw he won't kill you.

HEIZOU and you were quite litreally investigation about some crimes that were done and he said he would require your assistance so here you were in yashiori doing whatever investigations he had. you were only there as an assistant. but there were some kairagi nearby and while he was busy gathering evidence you quickly cleaned up the surroundings to not hinder his work. you don't want him to dirty his precious hand now <3. while you thought he had not noticed what you did back there he very much did and even observed your attack patterns. so he was just curious and asked "babe I never knew you had the ability to control blood and also a vision. mind telling me a bit more about it? I would like to know more" was he interrogating you or not you did not know but you trusted him since he was your boyfriend.

You told him everything you knew about it and you eventually forgot that the conversation even took place and that was enough time for heizou to personally look into your abilities and he did quite investigate too much into the history and he would preferably not go into details considering how...gruesome it was. but he always does his homework so when you were having some uneasiness around your chest area he popped outta nowhere to give you a detailed description of what you were going through. in conclusion you will live to see another day and spend more time with your genius of a boyfriend <3

[son1c]

answering some questions about my oc, fibula, for the @sonic-oc-showdown :]

🌼 - How old are they?

he was 16 when he died and will remain 16 forever!

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

;)

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

chaos energy... although he's always had a soft spot for green apples and will still eat them sometimes just for fun, even though they don't do anything for his undead stomach anymore. same deal with green apple lollipops. he's big on those. and the caramel apple lollipops too!

💼 - What do they do for a living?

i wouldn't really call it "a living" but he DOES work for eggman. since eggman is the one who revived him, he kinda feels like he owes the guy.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

he REALLY loves to scare people. he gets a kick out of people's terrified reactions to his undead appearance. he goes about it in a really hammy, halloween-haunted-house type of way. in fact, i can imagine him hiding IN a haunted house, pretending to be an animatronic or something, but nope! there goes his head, rolling on the floor...

one of his more mundane hobbies, though, is something he carried over from when he was a live--magic tricks! specifically card tricks, and other relatively simple sleight of hand stuff.

🎯 - What do they do best?

fibula is super strong! he can flip cars with his bare hands. he wasn't always this strong, but being undead has its perks.

🥊 - What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

he likes to cause problems on purpose <3 it's exciting for him to see the pandemonium that ensues. a big part of the reason why he stays with eggman is because it's FUN for him to be a villain.

on the flip side, though, he also loves to take naps. this dude would marry a sunbeam if he could fr.

as for what he hates to do... probably think? haha. but really, to slow down and actually think about stuff agitates him a lot.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

a lot of his time spent alive was pretty bleak. he doesn't look back fondly on most of it. however, any memory with his sister he holds close to his heart. she was his sunshine in an otherwise gray life. sometimes, he wonders what happened to her... but then he forces himself to stop thinking about it.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

dying. even though he's glad it happened, it still wasn't fun in the moment. he's thankful his zombified body can't feel pain the same way it used to, so he never has to experience agony like that again.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

horror... and comedy

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

he/him menace, interested in whatever can get his adrenaline pumping the fastest

🙌 - How many siblings does your OC have?

just one, a sister named femur.

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

nonexistent. they're dead.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

his design + concept! i'm really proud of how it turned out, and i think a pink zombie hog is a really interesting idea that could totally fit into the sonic world with how i've incorporated it via chaos energy. :]

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

hahahaha

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

yes, two. the first one is flowers. and the second one is buses. i also have this thing i like to think about where he's scared of amy, specifically because of her name (rose) LOL

🍩 - Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

shadow t. hedgehog babey!!!

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

since 2020, so for 3 years :)

[missmastectomy]

Hey there! Hope it's okay that I'm asking you this. I used to identify as non-binary but I'm trying to detransition back to being a woman and you seem really knowledgeable so I thought I'd ask you. Sorry for how long this ask is in advance.

So, my question is: Is there any way for me to get rid of gender dysphoria?

I just feel such a disconnect between the female parts of my body and myself. Looking in the mirror, my body is objectively fine. If any other person had my body, I would say they look great. But it just does not feel like me. I feel much more comfortable in a chest binder. I feel like I would be happier with myself if I transitioned.

I asked r/detrans on Reddit how to make it go away and I followed their advice. Most of it was pretty similar to the advice I saw you giving in your "mail" tag.

I've read books about feminism and body positivity (which did help with my issues about worrying about weight, and gave me a lot of insight into feminism and the patriarchy, but didn't do much about the dysphoria). I've tried getting outside and out of online trans spaces (also didn't help much). I've done a ton of reflection and thinking about myself and my experiences (didn't help a lot because I haven't really experienced a lot of sexism or negative feelings about being a woman - I don't have any SA or abuse trauma either). I present as a very GNC woman and have never had any negative experiences about that either.

I have no idea what to do. My life would be so much better if I could just be happy being a GNC cis woman. I wouldn't have to worry about dating, or telling my family, or paying for top surgery. But noooo my brain doesn't like that for whatever reason.

Wanting to be non-binary is honestly starting to make me hate myself because I just wish I could be normal. I don't want to get called a delusional weirdo for the rest of my life.

Literally any advice would be incredibly appreciated. Or thoughts. Anything. This is also really vent-y and I'm sorry about that. I'm just kind of at the end of my rope here.

Well, it sounds like you’ve done a lot of work to understand yourself better, so honestly I don’t know what I can do in that department. My main advice is always self reflect on anything negative w/ gender you may have experienced, associate positive things with gnc people etc… but in your case I’d recommend completely deconstructing your ideas about gender.

What I mean by that is that it sounds like you still believe in the concept of gender itself. For me, I don’t believe in it at all. I don’t believe non-binary is a valid identity, if you’re using it in place of describing your gender, instead of man or woman. I also don’t believe trans people really have a “gender identity” - I just consider them to be men and women who physically alter themselves to cope with dysphoria. They then take on a unique social role (if they assimilate), but I just wouldn’t call that “gender.”

If you stop believing in gender identity, you might have an easier time with your discomfort. It helped me a lot. I know that’s easier said than done. If you don’t believe in gender but are interested in transition, focus on the negative health aspects of transitioning.

You said you read my mail tags so I won’t go on about it, but transitioning will fuck you up in the long term, if you don’t start experiencing problems after a year or two. I’m serious, don’t do it. Top surgery is not what you think it is. You’ve probably heard this a billion times, but the issue is the way you perceive your body. And I don’t know you, so I’m not sure what advice to give specifically.

But some things are universal. Female bodies are not built to sustain themselves on male hormone levels. I understand if you’re dysphoric and feel like this is the only out, but people don’t understand how precious health is until you lose it. Or a body part. It’s an impossible feeling to explain unless you went through it.

If you go on HRT and are on long enough, you are going to experience problems with your reproductive system, or worse, your heart. T is especially hard on the cardiac system. It’s not “if,” it’s when. I was lucky to escape the worst of it because I was on a low dose for most of my transition. If you’re at male levels you will have problems. Like I said before, atrophy is super common. Uterine and vaginal, and it’s not just dryness when it’s moderate/severe. It’s your canal splitting open and making it agony to sit and walk. It’s the T in your system actively killing your reproductive organs. That’s why so many trans men get hysterectomies.

Surgery is a whole other issue. How would you feel if your surgeon botched your chest? If you had limited mobility or chronic pain, if you had dog ears or extremely visible scars? That is not a risk worth taking. Your health is more important. The brain can be treated with time - the body is harder when it has been damaged past a certain point.

Look, everyone who transitioned felt this way at one point. Or mostly everyone. Like we’re in a cage and there’s only one solution. But it’s a lie. These doctors are selling you snake oil, whether they realize it or not. I mean this in the non shittiest way possible, but your experiences with GD are not unique. There are people out there like you who have moved on and healed. It’s possible for you, too. A sure fire way to deal with GD is to completely stop entertaining the idea of transition, and gender generally. It is bad for you and I think there is no better way to describe it than extreme self harm. Transitioning won’t make you happy, or whole. What it will do is allow you to run away from yourself and give you a truckload of health/social complications to boot.

[star-vibing-prompts]

Random quotes from different Fandoms as prompts.

Yes you can use these. Yes you can change the pronouns. Also NOTE: None of these are in particular order.

Warnings: Mentions of drugs, swearing, a very long post, and maybe yandere stuff??

"I hope he didn't care about that pizza..."

"[Name], have you seen [Name] this morning?" "Yeap. He's hanging out with some weirdo. I think he's trying to vaporize [Name]."

"[Name], I blame YOU for this." "Eh, that's fair."

"Also, I cleaned up your awful, awful mess. You’re welcome." "You did WHAT?! I have a system!"

"I never asked for it to be this way. I never asked to be made!"

"Admit it. I'm just an embarrassment to you!"

"I'm not gonna let you stand there and remind me of everything I hate about myself!"

"How will StarClan come back if we keep breaking the code?"

"I really-really-like you. I've always felt that we might be mates one someday. And now that I'm a warrior, maybe this is the time for us to start thinking of each other in a new way?" "I'm sorry. I had no idea you felt like this, [Name]. I like you a lot, but I always thought of you as a friend-a really good friend, almost like another littermate. I've never felt...that way about you." "But now that you know how I feel...do you think that in time, [Name] you might feel the same way?" "I don't think so. Actually I...I like another cat. I'm so sorry, [Name]."

"Wow, [Name]. I know your thing is honesty, but come on!"

"No disrespect ma'am, but there's a big difference between pushing yourself as hard as you can, and just being reckless. And if being reckless is what gets rewarded around here, if that's what it means to be a Wonderbolt, then I don't want any part of it."

"Hey, now wait a minute! Just because I don't have a pet now doesn't mean I never want a pet!"

"Oh, that's my new toy. Pretty, isn't she? I bet I'm the only queen with my very own RainWing."

"Now really, this is getting insulting. You're in my territory. Apparently you're living under my mountain. I am only the most important dragon for hundreds of miles. How dare you not recognize me?"

"It doesn't matter what Earth is like, it's not going to be like anything soon!"

"Don't you Gems have anything better to do than annoy me?"

"Ohh, I adore these fantasies! They have the best fashions."

"Wait! I-I wouldn't have called just to waste your time with a report."

"Just being on a ship with [Name] made me tired."

"So am I gonna have to wear a star? Where am I gonna put the star?!"

"It'll be better this time. I've changed. You've changed me. I'm the only one who can handle your kind of power."

"You can't lie to me. I've seen what you're capable of. I thought I was a brute, but you... you're a monster."

"There's always someone to fight! There's just no one left worth fighting..."

"Uh, that was way more explosive than I expected."

"Someone ordered some noodles?"

"Yeah. I was about to take my break. So..."

"To be fair, do you trust any man? Any men? Men?"

"Does that mean I don't have a free room anymore? Aw, well shucks."

"OH MY GOD! My drugs! Damn it!"

"W-well I-I just wanted to look a little nicer for you. This is our first real date after all."

"I'm sorry, [Name]. I'm sorry for…everything…happening right now. I know it's…a lot. I, uh-- I should have listened."

"We're rich and we are hot. People want our money AND our bodies! Speak for yourself, princess."

"I swear… If you go near her I will destroy you!"

"I don't care what your arrogant brother thinks!"

"That. Was the sound…OF A FUCKING DIVORCE!"

"My hair is ruined!"

"My face. My face! MY FACE! GIVE ME BACK MY EYES!"

"I bet you don't even HAVE friends..."

"Your fans are watching you right now. I know."

"What's that supposed to mean, you got a problem or somethin', sour cream? Don't fuck with me!"

"Alright shit talker, but there hasn't been a soul yet who can beat me at my own game. So you better bring the fire baby!"

"Could've just used the door, dude. Doesn't need to be this whole thing."

"Do you think they saw me? Fuck! I did my make-up shitty today!"

"Oh, what does it matter?! You’re not my real dad, I was almost eighteen!"

"Totally. But since then, you've had me teaching you. You're stronger now. Don't you feel stronger?"

"I found out where it lives."

"I've won. You can all see that. We can end this now, without killing anyone. I ask you all to let him live!"

"He's just a human! He isn't a threat at all! He's not one of them!"

"I just want to go home."

"You don't understand! Just leave me alone."

"Slow down, kiddo. This is the thanks I get for checking in on my favorite student?"

"Unloaded all your secret insecurities on me! I know! But hey, no shame in that, man. Sometimes you just gotta talk it out, y'know? I don't really do it. Maybe I should. But we'd be here all day so..."

"Totally. But since then, you've had me teaching you. You're stronger now. Don't you feel stronger?"

"What we had wasn't healthy. I never want to feel like I felt with you. Never again! So just go!"

"I was terrible to you. I liked taking everything out on you. I needed to. I-I hated you. It was bad!"

"[Name], you can still wear the hat, if you want." "Thanks, but I'm not putting that on my body."

"It was an endless, crushing darkness. Wet and bleak and suffocating. Water was the tomb I lived in for those months."

"You do realize that I spent the last few months trapped under the ocean, right?"

"For a moment, I really felt like things were different, but they're not. No matter where I go, I'm trapped."

"I'm done being everyone's prisoner! Now you're MY prisoner! And I'm never letting you go!"

"Let's stay on this miserable planet, together!"

"Spoiler alert, the butter is spoiled."

"Sorry I fucked your husband."

"The FUCK is "insurance"?"

"It's only just come into existence, and it already doesn't like us."

"He can be a real sweetheart once you get to know him."

"We knew for sure you would prevail."

"I'm the monster."

"You're... going to LOVE ME!"

"Now that we've gotten that out of the way, how about a game?"

"A baby dragon! Oh, I've never seen a baby dragon before. He's so cute."

"[Name], I think our work here is done." "Put your clothes on, [Name]."

"I just want everyone to know: my plan would have also worked."

"All that matters is that [Name] is happy."

"What's in these things?"

"That's not my baby!"

“If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I’d probably be a bit irritable at night, too.”

“I’m still here. I will put you back together."

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

sorry if you already mentioned it and if you did you can link it np, but what is the significance of the chiron conjunction?

its no problem i havent rly talked about it other than today ^^ but its an energy thats been building for months since they're both slow moving. chiron is an asteroid named after a mythological figure who was a centaur exiled at birth. tho later in life he became a great teacher & mentor due to his experience & compassion. so chiron is nicknamed "the wounded healer" the asteroid represents that part of ourselves. childhood wounds (and past life pain) that hurt the most usually something to do w rejection or abandonment, but its where u have the most capacity to heal others.

north node is a mathematical point in the sky & directly opposite it is the south node. north node shows where our highest destiny lies, the lessons our soul needs to embrace in order to really Level up in this incarnation. south node shows what we're comfortable with, the type of role we already mastered from past lives, most ppl subconsciously cling to habits from their SN because it's too hard & scary & new to move towards their NN. but usually the NN says a lot for someone's secret ideal life they fantasize about at night.. the NN represents the future & how its ultimately ur choice to follow ur dreams or not.

so for them to be conjunct in aries rn on a collective scale has ppl addressing & healing their personal wounds (aries represents Self, the body, root chakra) but also feeling compelled to take action, since aries/mars really is about Doing It. And on a global scale in the past few months we've seen ppl working relentlessly hard to free palestine, as aries/mars also rules over war.. to me i feel the escalation of the genocide is part of the chiron wound, & people all over the world finally being unable to deny the reality of the carnage, the awful realizations the lead to action in ending this decades long nightmare once and for all.. that's how i see it. obviously its not over yet but seems to be at a boiling point. this is very simplified explanation so i hope it doesn't come off as insensitive, not my intention

u can see more about how it's effecting ur personal life by looking at the house placement of aries in ur chart, and any planets in ur chart being aspected by 16 degrees aries. if you've already been taking direct action in your life to heal your wounds, this day/few weeks might b rly nice for u ^^ if you've been avoiding It, there may b a reality check thats ultimately meant to steer u in a better direction for ur future. my advice.. dont try to hide from your pain or push it away, confront it n learn to live with it, forgive yourself, don't feel ashamed or embarrassed, nobody wants u to be perfect ! ! ! give yourself a hug for making it this far.. alchemize new ways to be courageous in the pursuit of your best Self. cus by being your best self you can do the most the help others, thats the highest vibration of aries enRgy. aries is so sincere & innocent & encouraging i rly love it.

Sorry for wall of text i probbly shouldve just made a video, hope it helps tho... Ganbatte anon !!! fearlessly heal your heart and keep your dream alive ! ! ! PMD9<3

[kai-zip]

Not so innocent

(Minnie x Miyeon)

3rd POV

It has been confirmed that Nicha known as Kim Minnie would be attending a lesson on how to stop doing drugs.

Yes, you read that right. This woman has been addicted to drugs, since her parents died in a car crash she's been blaming herself for not being there. When her parents died, she was in Thailand for some business stuffs she had to do for her work. She didn't have any other choice.

Anyhow, her close friends tried to make her feel better, Seo Soojin and Jeon Soyeon. These two have been by her side since they were like 10 and 9 years old, interesting right? A friendship that last so long.

It was her first time being in this kind of group, people who used to do drugs or just stopped doing them, like her.

That's really a weird feeling.

Why do I have to be here?

I could do this alone.

Minnie thinks. Even though she's not actually telling the truth, she would be devastated if she would do this alone cause it'd end her up doing drugs again.

So why not find a new kind of drug? Which it won't be as bad as those pills.

As she get inside to this small room, there were people. Many people.

They stared at her, all eyes on her which made her so anxious. She gulped hardly and sat on a free chair.

She looked up, her eyes caught the most beautiful gaze and eyes she ever saw. Brown eyes, a bit rounded than hers yet so beautiful. Lips? So beautiful, not so big yet not so thin. They seemed very kissable. Body? God, so thin yet so beautiful. She's going crazy, she never saw a woman like her.

"Why don't you introduce yourself to the group, love?" the woman asks.

Minnie blinks twice after that she nods and stands up from her seat.

"M-My name's Nicha Yontararak, Kim Minnie in short. Uh.. I'm from T-Thailand and moved here seven years ago. I'm currently 25 years old." Minnie says while looking onto the ground.

"Very nice, then tell me Minnie why are you here?" the woman asks.

"W-Well, I have been troubled with taking drugs and it was the time for me to stop taking them. I want a better life for myself." Minnie confesses.

The woman smiles and claps.

"Very well, you're in the right place then. Let me introduce myself before we start, my name's Cho Miyeon, I'll be your drug counselor or therapist. You can always talk to me if you want privately. I am 26 years old and I am from Korea." Miyeon points out which made Minnie be more mesmerized by her charms as her smile for example.

Yeah, she definitely wants to get better now. She wants to attend this small group.

Definitely.

As she came back from that group therapy, she also got Miyeon's number if she ever needed to call her or text her during hard times.

She immediately called her best friend, Lalisa Manoban. She's also her Assistance.

"Lisa, my lord you won't believe what I did and who I met." Minnie says, panicking.

"Yo! Tell me everything, I got some time." Lisa says on the phone.

And that's how it starts with Minnie.

Attending every group therapy that's with Miyeon.

Every month is getting better, of course she has been having some panic attacks but as Miyeon told her, she could always call her if needed. So that's what she did.

These two never talked privately, though Minnie wanted to get to know her more. She knows it's not allowed so she waited until she'd be healed completely.

Good plan right? The only problem was that she wasn't sure if that woman had a boyfriend or even if she was into women like her. She had to do some research, no?

But how? She had to ask people if she knew her. But for now, she will focus on getting better.

We'll be skipping this after six months.

Minnie got better and is officially off with those pills.

It feels so nice and relieving. Finally, can go to work without any problems, her health is getting better than before.

And the awesome part? Jennie, Lisa's girlfriend new Miyeon. So it was something great, though she's single. Not bad.

She knew that this couple will be throwing a party for their anniversary so Minnie as well as Miyeon will be invited, of course she will attend this party. And she will look really good.

Thank god the party's today so her friends will also come with their partners. So enough mumbling and check Minnie's outfit.

Nice right? Quite the hottie as people would say in our generation.

She took some pictures of herself and smiled at herself.

Damn, I look good.

Minnie thinks to herself.

In fact she does look really good, in my opinion.

Lets skip to Miyeon's outfit, right?

We don't want to miss out.

Quite the princess yet hot. On her waist she's wearing a black skirt with a heart belt. Very fancy.

And so the party began.

Both women attended the party, both looking fancy in their own way. One too sport-ish and the other one too elegance and sexy.

What a taste, am I right?

Lisa hugged the younger woman. Welcoming her as well as her girlfriend. After that, Jennie saw Miyeon dancing with a couple of other women and grabbed gently her arm pulling her where Lisa and Minnie were.

"Look who I found!" Jennie yells because of the loud music.

"Oh my god! Hey Miyeon, what's up!" Lisa yells.

Miyeon smiles and hugs both girls, then she saw Minnie. Her expression was.. interesting. She was more like surprised yet happy to see the woman doing well.

"Hello, Nicha" Miyeon says.

It made the younger blush slightly, hearing the older calling her by her Thai name.

"Hey Miyeon, long time no see huh?" Minnie asks while smiling.

"Yeah, how have you been? You haven't been in the therapy for a month now. Are you doing well?" Miyeon asks as both girls walked to the kitchen where the drinks were as well as snacks.

"I'm doing great actually. Thanks to you of course, I've been doing great. I'm still having some issues but they're not as dangerous as it used to be. I'm getting through it. How have you been?" The younger asks.

"I've been doing okay. You know, I kinda miss it not having you there. You were like uh the light in the group. I'm happy you're doing great." Miyeon says and gave the younger a smile.

"Yeah.. I guess so. Well uhm.. you look very pretty tonight." Minnie gives a compliment to the older woman.

"Oh really? So I wasn't pretty yesterday or a month ago?" Miyeon asks making Minnie panic a bit.

With that expression made Miyeon laugh.

"N-No! I-I m-mean.. you always looked pretty! Just today you look a bit.. hotter than usual?" Minnie gulps, she doesn't want to fuck up right now.

"Oh?" That made Miyeon blush.

"Y-You think.. I'm hot?"

"Of course I do. Every day, every time I saw or see you. You never get less pretty." Minnie says as she took a step closer to the older woman.

"O-Oh.. w-why thank you, N-Nicha. I also think y-you're good looking." Miyeon stutters.

Minnie smirks and took another step closer to her, wrapping a hand around the latter's waist as her left hand was on the chin of the latter's.

"Look up, baby." Minnie whispers with her his key voice. That made Miyeon nervous but obeyed.

"You really do obey quickly, don't you?" Minnie asks, but did not get a respond.

For an answer, Miyeon kisses the Thai which she did not expect it. She immediately kisses her back, wrapping her other hand on the latter's neck as she pushes the latter closer to her.

Lips connected, biting each other's bottom lip, the make out session was indeed very hungry and tensed.

Minnie did not care if people were watching them, she wanted to kiss that woman for a long time now. There's nothing stopping her now.

She picked up the latter, sitting her on the kitchen counter as they keep kissing each other.

The Thai was leaving sloppy, yet wet kisses on the latter's neck making the older woman groan from pleasure as she wrapped her legs around the Thai's waist.

That drove the younger woman crazy, she looked up at the older woman as they both made an eye contact.

"Let's go to my car, shall we?" Minnie whispers near the older's ear. Miyeon just nodded, with that Minnie picked her up walking towards the exit door. She opened it and stepped outside as she closed the door behind her.

She took out her car keys, walking towards her car. Opened the door from the back seats, laid Miyeon as she went on top of her as she closed the door and locked the car doors again.

"You're mine for the night." Minnie whispers.

"Oh yeah? Says who?" Miyeon teases.

"Says me. You'll be mine for now and for the rest of our lives, princess." Minnie says which made Miyeon smile.

"Hm, I like that idea. Let's do it." Miyeon says as she trails her hand on Minnie's adidas long jacket.

She pushes the younger to sit as she gets on her lap.

"My body belongs to you for today, Nicha~" Miyeon whispers near to the younger's ear as she slowly grinds onto the Thai's thigh.

"Mmm, I like how that sounds baby." Minnie places her hands onto the older's waist as her hands follows the rhythm of her hips.

Miyeon slowly took her own light jacket off, still grinding onto the Thai's thigh making her moan softly.

"N-Nicha" she moans near Minnie's ear.

Fuck. Minnie thinks.

Minnie wanted so badly to touch her but was so worried that people would be able to take pictures of them.

Ugh, I don't care. Why am I overthinking while she's being a mess on my lap?

Get it together Nicha!

With that, she harshly pushes Miyeon down as she's on top of her and her hand between her thighs.

Minnie rubs the older's inner thigh making her groan.

"You like that? Being all slutty to your old patient?" Minnie asks with her husky voice making Miyeon more wet as she was before.

"N-No.. only when it comes to you. You make me lose my mind." Miyeon says and with that Minnie was taking already off the older's underwear.

"We don't need that now, do we?" Minnie asks as Miyeon shakes her head.

"Good. Now be a good girl and enjoy it for as long as you can." Minnie says as she slowly kisses Miyeon's stomach down to her thighs while she was still wearing the skirt.

She pushed two fingers inside the older unexpectedly, which caught the older by surprise and made her moan loudly. Minnie pushed the skirt a bit up, making more room for her to spread the older's legs. Which she successfully did, she brought her face near the wet core of the older woman's and started licking her clit while thrusting her finger harshly into the older.

The older was a moaning mess, she harshly grabbed onto the younger's hair. She felt how the Thai's tongue swirled and moving, every movement of her fingers and tongue. It was an amazing feeling, she couldn't explain the butterflies yet the hotness she and her body was feeling right now.

"N-Nicha! Oh my god!" Miyeon moans loudly as she arches her back and biting her lip harshly.

That made the Thai smirk as she thrust her finger harder, making the latter's body shake a lot. She knows that the woman was close, already.

It didn't stop her though, she inserted another finger. Three in total. Which made the latter moan louder and pull her hair hard.

"F-Fuck!" Miyeon groans, pushing the younger's face closer to her wet core.

Minnie liked how messy the latter is when it comes to having an intimate moment with her. She wants to have that more with her and she will.

After a second the latter released which made the Thai take a last lick and take her fingers off.

"Suck them." The Thai says to the latter.

Miyeon obeyed and tried carefully to get a bit up, she put Minnie's fingers into her mouth and sucked them. She was tasting herself.

"It's sweet, isn't it?" The Thai asks.

The latter nods as she keeps sucking onto the Thai's fingers.

"I want to taste you every day. And I will, you're mine baby. My princess, my good girl." Minnie says as she takes her fingers out slowly leaving a saliva connected to the latter's mouth.

"Mmm.. yes I am." Miyeon says. She can't lie right now, she really liked it. Owning her. Especially a woman like Minnie.

"And I am yours. Is that a deal, sweetheart?" Minnie asks as she makes Miyeon sit on her lap which the latter did.

Both of the cuddled each other for a bit.

"It's a deal baby." Miyeon says and kisses Minnie's cheek.

Both smiled like idiots, Minnie knew she had to drive back home but she wanted to stay like this for a while.

[murdrdocs]

celeste I’m dying and need help (this is super fucking long I’m actually so sorry)

so this guy that I’ve been friends with since literally 8th fucking grade likes me and asked me to go out with him but I don’t like him back but I’m too scared to reject him because I’m the type of person to feel AWFUL if I hurt someone’s feelings. Everyone tells me that it’s not my problem and that I shouldn’t feel bad but like I CANT.

I really wished I liked him bc he’s super sweet and literally said he’d buy me sour patch kids and give them to me when we go out (but I feel bad when people buy things/do nice things for me too) and I’ve been trying to give him so many hints by either straight up avoiding him when he asks me out (this is all over text btw) and I also told him “if I wanted sour patch kids, yk id get them myself. plus I feel bad when people buy things for me” and he’s like persistent on it.

and to make it worse, he got rejected by a different girl a few months ago and literally cried. me and my friends (cause he’s in our friend group) were like “comforting him” (basically telling him she wasn’t worth his time bc she was kinda rude abt rejecting him) and stuff like that, so I don’t wanna hurt him again.

he knows I had a toxic ex but doesn’t know the full extent, and bc of that ex, I’ve literally not had a crush since him bc he traumatized me.

anyways I genuinely tried summarizing this super quick but I’m sorry it got so long, I understand if you don’t want to respond/read the whole thing, but if you do then thank you!!! <333 (sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes I’m just panicking rn and my autocorrect is working overtime)

-‼️

okay i'm gonna give it to u so straight: u gotta bite the bullet man. i get that ur empathetic but think abt this, if u do go out w him your feelings are most likely not going to change. then you'll be stuck, eventually he'll figure out/find out that u don't rlly like him. and it'll be a massive gigantic shit of a mess.

it sucks and it can be a sticky situation but the only way you'll get out of it is by being honest and putting ur foot down so to speak. plus it'll suck for a little while but if he's a good and true friend, he'll eventually move on and you guys will be just Friends again. and you can't be upset abt it forever like actually. you'll feel bad for a little while but eventually your body/mind will do what it needs to and you'll be okay again.

as for going abt it, avoidance neverrrr works in my experience. (been there trust) you have to tell him straight up that u dont want him. and if he is still persistent, then that's a major red flag (also trust me) and u do not want that in ur life.

also also, ppl get hurt unfortunately that is a part of life. if u don't hurt him, someone else will (sounds bad but it's true) and u aren't responsible for other ppl's feelings/how they react. all u can do is live ur truth and look out for no. 1.

anyway i hoped this helped? i am ... not the best at giving advice pertaining to men/guys/boy species without being a bitch abt it but i truly did try to set aside my erm ... dislike to help u. but get other advice too and ultimately go w ur gut (and ur head be logical but not too logical)

[itgomyway]

hi calypso! i hope you’re doing well! First i want to tell u that, finding your blog was a blessing, out of every other bling i’ve seen, you resonate the most w me, so thank youuu.

so i’ve a question, i tapped into ND quite recently, and i’ve seen quite a few blogs say that let everything be, don’t fight it, don’t do anything just be, but what’s conflicting w me is suppose they have an exam or project to do, which is super imp, how can they just leave it be? i underhand it’s all illusory, but they just run w the “don’t do anything, don’t desire” but as humans we do desire, that’s sort of inbuilt 💀. tbh i don’t like that, bc imagine i want a high paying job, i’m living the life i want and they say dont desire it. if i was like 60, i’d be okay w such a mindset. but i’m literally 21 and i can’t really say my life was amazing ☠️, when i read such things? it feels hopeless so to speak.

i hope it made sense 😭💀. but once again, i appreciate you and your blog sm!!!

**idk if this counts as a success story but i had a deadline for my project and i didn’t do it at all 🧍🏻‍♀️. like it was 70 marks, on the day of the submission i was super laidback (yes i had doubts but i let go of the problem and just went on w my day) that they’d extend the deadline,AND THEY DID 💀**

hello thank you for your kind words :) and, i agree that hearing you shouldn't desire despite that being all you've ever done is intimidating. but look at it this way:

i have a job i go to. as consciousness, i don't need to do anything or desire anything because all is now. consciousness and now are the only existing things. however i occupy a human body. you can meditate all fucking day but it will not change the fact that you are experiencing the human condition. ive come to understand this after studying nd for awhile. people who have hardly been studying non dualism will find it weird. you spend so much time understanding that all that appears outside of you is an illusion. they won't understand that part yet. that's fine. it literally places your whole understanding of reality upside down. so me as consciousness doesn't have to worry about anything but that doesn't prevent me from my human responsibilities. when they take their exam or when i clock in, they know they are actually consciousness and all is an illusion besides them so why fear an exam they conjured? sure "you" can study but you as consciousness aren't doing anything but being. by existing you are being whether you choose to actively participate in the illusion or not.

[captawesomesauce]

Thoughts at 8pm...

Today was a _____ day! Still not sure what adjective to put there... good ... bad... both... weird?

We slept in until W woke me up because there was a giant spider on the ceiling of the living room.... that was BAD. .... both because of the disgusting spider and the fact that I got woken up. Boo.

After that we went to sams club to get an order. That was good. No problems with traffic, no problems with parking, even on a holiday, just a short wait for the pickup people to come out to the car. It was a small order anyways. So, like I said... that was good.

Sam's club is changing their plus policies though, and that's both good and bad... Good in that we can now get free same day delivery and don't have to schlep down there, but bad that we can't order small things willy nilly, like a thing of olives. $50 threshold now. So... that sucks.

After that, we had a little lunch and I dunno... I was feeling a bit off, but decided to just power through it.

We were going to go to the park and just chill but I got to thinking, with the holiday it's probably busy there, and why not go somewhere new? So we decided to go to the Bolsa Chica Wetlands! I'd never been even though I used to live like 5 miles from there for most of my childhood! 5 Miles... never even knew it existed really.

The main trail I wanted to go down was closed, but we did two of the other trails and ended up walking over 2 miles!!!! Seriously... 2 miles!!!

The trail was rather narrow at some points and I'm glad I wore pants or my legs would have been scraped up bad! We saw birds, we saw big pools of fish, we saw tiny crab, we saw lizards... it was fun!

My cane helped a lot, even if it got stuck in some areas, and some were so bushy I didn't have room for it, but I think we did pretty good - all things considered. We took our time, stopped often, we had water with us, both of us were wearing wide brimmed hats and sunglasses and we did good. No sunburns, no heat issues, the ocean breeze was awesome

W wore her mappy dress and a light covering on top cause of the wind and sun. But look! Mappy dress! I had on a UPF sun shirt... things rule! It was so isolated and few people around in spots we could even just chill without masks on and enjoy the smells of the ocean and fire pits across at the beach. And here's some pics

We drove home, I downed a glass of lemonade, and chilled out since.

The big bad part is that on the way home I started to get a really bad pain behind my right eye. Usually it's my left one, but this time, it's on the other side and I can't seem to shake it. Nothings really helping. It's so bad I can't watch anything with motion... like a tv show or anything... my eye just won't track and the headache gets worse with the flickering and stuff. This in addition to how bad my back, hip and shoulder hurt already. I did ok with the walk even with the bad pain. I just couldn't turn my head or twist my body. As long as I walked straight and moved my whole body, I was ok. Just no moving my neck or waist. It was limiting, and I had to ask W to look at things at times, but it worked well. I'm just sore... and the headache makes it worse.

So... good day with some not so good moments. lol.