#fuck I’m also learning to skateboard

[burnt-toasty]

you ever obsess over something so hard it’s like painful?? feeling comforted and euphoric but like angry and sad you can’t crawl inside a piece of media and live in there…oof

[drunk-poets-society]

Man, working with kids is so entertaining. This 8th grader I’m teaching is so enamoured by me and I just lie to him abt the most inconsequential shit lol.

[limewatt]

i wanna learn how to rollerblade…

[lagomoz]

Proseka headcanons

-as rui’s childhood friend, nene has extensive fire safety knowledge

-shizuku is adopted, hence why she looks so different from shiho. she was adopted shortly before the moon rabbit event and it contributed to her clinginess

-shiho forgets this fact sometimes. she’ll casually mention something like shizuku got all mom’s good genes so unfair and ichika has to be. um. shiho

-kanade is mildly nearsighted/myopic but spends so much time at her computer she hasn’t noticed

-emu is buff. she climbs multiple stories without breaking a sweat and is canonically part of the swimming, handball and rhythmic gymnastic clubs, you can’t tell me she doesn’t have some muscle

-saki helps out as a human notepad for tsukasa, reminding of him things he would otherwise forget within 5 minutes

-the vocaloids also help. at first it was unnerving to have hatsune miku be an extension of his psyche that knows his darkest secret (stole saki’s candy when he was 6) but now his phone has a more reliable catgirl themed reminder system

-you know that classic nightmare of leaving the house without pants? tsukasa has legitimately done that as a kid. he forgor. (saki will never let him live it down)

-in the kamiyama student council/hall monitor room, an has put up at sign saying “_ days since last kamishiro incident”

-the shinonome siblings both figured out the other one was gay before they figured it out about themselves

-airi’s great at trivia from her time as a variety show star. she still can’t beat minori at idol trivia, though

-ena keeps a diary with fort knox level security. try to read it and you’ll lose a finger

-saki learned to crochet from the old ladies in the hospital

-shiho’s most treasured phenny is a somewhat lumpy crocheted phenny holding a very lumpy crocheted bass guitar

-tsukasa snores. he falls asleep in 10 seconds and sounds like a dying lawnmower

-mizuki has learned a small bit of french from their sister and uses it exclusively to teach rui and an how to swear in french

-emu still celebrates her grandfather’s birthday, even if he’s not there to celebrate with her

-ena is allergic to dogs, the middle point to airi’s cat allergy and akito’s dog phobia

-rui has various small scars from his experiments over the years, but nobody ever believes the real causes (rocket launcher, robot bite, exploding balloon animal, etc.) so he just makes up a new cause every time someone asks

-mmj! has had repeated incidents of minori and airi’s little siblings walking into frame when streaming at their houses. shiho understands the concept of a livestream but has still been caught failing at creeping past like that one new broadcast of the guy crawling along the floor

-kanade has pots & eds, this one I have a reason for look at her symptoms. chronic exhaustion, heat and cold intolerance, comorbid sleep issues and depression, dizziness when standing up, fainting after standing up, very pale skin, family history of medical issues, pain at normal physical activities, exercise intolerance, vertigo at mild exertion, she just fucking dies during the entire baseball event, I could go on. she canonically gets pain in her hands from opening a jar girl that is not just being out of shape that is physical disability. this one I will go conspiracy board on listen to me I’m right

-kohane ate bugs as a kid. an is horrified, toya is confused, akito is impressed

-ena and airi got in trouble in middle school because they’d keep starting fist fights in defense of the others honor. if they saw the other in a fight they’d jump in guns blazing no hesitation no questions ask ready to throw the fuck down

-vbs!rin and len were given a skateboard by an and then promptly had the skateboard confiscated by meiko for property destruction

-haruka is horrible with slang. she asks the stream chat what poggers means and immediately uses it completely wrong, killing all viewers on impact

-minori is torn between thinking it’s cute and wanting to die

-toya has been banned from arcades before because he made them lose too much money/they suspected he was cheating

-ena brought kanade over for girls night and nearly scared akito half to death because he went down to get a late night snack and there was some Ghastly Creature looming in his kitchen

-kohane's parents stick out like a sore thumb when going to her live shows. it mortifies her that everyone on vivid street can recognize them as the only milquetoast middle aged couple dressed in normal clothes loudly going YOU'RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE that don't know the first thing about music

-minori knows basic programming. she mostly uses it for forums, blogs, html, other web design things usually related to idols as a hobby, but she's become the groups designated anti-shizuku tech support

-mafuyu has always been able to see ghosts but after adults figured she was just playing pretend as a kid so she shrugged and figured it was normal and not worth bringing up again

-honami has one of those massive extended families and somehow keeps track of them all. at any given time cousin #57 can crawl out of the woodwork and she remembers their new job, favorite food, past three romantic relationships and list of allergic reactions

-mizuki does doll customizing as a hobby. they prefer making human sized clothes, but it's fun to make them miniature too. they've introduced shizuku to it and she loves it, but doesn't have the heart to do anything that would hurt the doll (sawing limbs off, dunking them in boiling water, shoving wires in them, etc.)

[eyesofshinigami]

Chaos Goblin

Rating: T

CW: None

Tags: Established relationship, language, humor, very slight mention of vomit

Prompt: For anon "Love is watching them do the stupidest things and falling harder for them every time"

WC: 808

Written for Day 27 of @steddielovemonth

“I can’t believe you’re letting them do this.”

It wasn’t Steve’s idea to let Eddie and the kids have a pie-eating contest in his backyard, but it sure was something he was letting happen. A year of dating Eddie had taught him that his boyfriend was an unstoppable force of personality, and sometimes that meant letting him do really, really dumb shit sometimes. He couldn’t even remember what argument had sparked this idea, but he knew better than to try and fight it. Sometimes you just have to learn to let things happen. 

Nancy, sitting on the other side of Robin, just shrugged. “I guess at least they’re outside? I’m still not sure how Eddie convinced you to bake that many pies for him.”

Steve cleared his throat. “I mean, I could tell you, but-”

“Oh god, seriously? You two are the worst!” Robin moaned, shoving Steve in the shoulder. 

He just shrugged. He was going to tell her that Eddie had offered to do dishes for the next month, but hinting at the epic sex marathon that also happened that night was enough to make him smile. “Nancy started it.”

“You don’t have to finish it,” Robin muttered under her breath, earning herself a tug on her hair from Nancy. “Anyway, pie-seducing aside, I can’t wait to watch when this goes sideways.”

“We have a hose, it’ll be fine.” And frankly, this didn’t even warrant a score on the grand scale of stupid shit Eddie and the kids had talked Steve into. He couldn’t help it that his boyfriend and their pack of feral children were very convincing, and also a little bit stupid. 

Like the time Dustin nearly blew the top off Eddie’s van when he accidentally set off the prototype for New Years Eve the two of them had concocted. Or when Eddie had given himself food poisoning by making some kind of science experiment sandwich with expired deli meat when he was high one night. Or when he nearly broke his arm trying to shoot a basketball and skateboard at the same time to settle an argument for Lucas and Max. Or-

Well. Anyway, Steve had learned pretty early on in their relationship to expect the unexpected, and to always have a first aid kit handy. 

“All right, you squirts, now it’s time to show you that I am the Master at Pie-Eating!” Eddie called out, sending a dirty wink in Steve’s direction. 

Max called back, “That metaphor doesn’t even make sense!”

Dustin and Mike both squinted at him from their spots at the folding tables they’d borrowed from the Byers’. Will, smart kid that he was, was sitting on the sidelines with the stopwatch, having declared himself the judge. Sensible, really. “You’re going down, Munson. You too, Wheeler,” Dustin said, rolling his shoulders back like he’s about to try for a Grand Slam in the seventh-inning stretch. 

“Fuck you, Dustin. You don’t even have any teeth, how are you going to chew?” Mike goaded, earning himself an offended squawk from Dustin. 

Will rolled his eyes at all three of them. “Are you guys ready? On my count, 1…2…3!” 

And they were off. It was truly a sight to behold; one grown man and two nearly grown teenagers scarfing down Steve’s homemade blackberry pies like they would never eat again. Lucas, Max, and El were cheering them on from the sidelines, also smart enough to not get involved in these kinds of shenanigans. 

Eddie finished first, holding the pie pan up and licking it clean before he dropped it on the table. He had blackberry smeared from his forehead to his jawline, matted in his hair, and staining the shirt he’d clearly stolen from Steve. Will called out the time, less than thirty seconds, and the other two started grousing about losing. “Ha! I told you! Eat shit, you little boogers!” 

His boyfriend was an absolute mess, looked completely ridiculous, and Steve wasn’t sure he'd ever loved him more. Eddie was a chaos goblin on a good day, but Steve wouldn’t have him any other way. Especially not when he bounded over to Steve like an overeager puppy, eyes shining and dripping with what remained of Steve’s immaculate pie. “Had fun?” he teased, swiping a bit of blackberry off Eddie’s chin and popping it in his own mouth.

“Absolutely. It’ll be worth the stomachache I can already feel coming on,” Eddie replied with a grin. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got ginger ale and a warm blanket waiting for you.” Steve pulled Eddie in for a kiss, enjoying the taste of blackberries. 

He lost himself in it, ignoring the pitiful sounds of Dustin and Mike groaning about being too-full, or the screech Robin let out when Mike almost puked on her shoes. 

Eddie was a whirlwind of chaos, and Steve wouldn’t have him any other way.

[catwrites9]

Valentine’s Day Santa

(Jack champion x reader) can be read as fem or gn. Use of they once to refer as reader.

A/n This is a random idea I thought of and also because I headcanon Jack to like flowers so yeah also I thought of this during Valentines day so yeah it’s been that long. I am kinda in writer's block but I’m gonna the requests I’m doing soon. Also this is my way of announcing that I’m now accepting requests for Jack Champion and Ethan Landry.

Warnings cussing, kissing?, possible bad grammar, punctuation, and spelling.

Also should I start using the use of y/n in my stories you can kinda tell I hid the name in this one.

—————————————————————————

You and Jack both love to give each other random things like with him gifting you a funny hat most recently. But the only problem was your growing crush on him, you both met each other during the filming of Scream 6 having played his semi love interest that has to kill him which was fun for both of you when you had to film it. You wanted Jack to be your valentine but the whole problem is 1 you don’t even think he likes you 2 you don’t want to ruin your friendship for this if you can’t make it seem platonic and lastly 3 you don’t know if he has a valentine because you both haven’t had any scenes together because you’ve been doing the apartment scene over and over again because of difficulties.

It took a lot of courage and encouragement from both Mason and Jasmin because they were the ones who could just tell you had a crush on Jack and you could not even deny it because of all the proof they had. So you devised your plan with getting his favorite flowers and getting him a new skateboard because you remembered that he was trying to learn a trick and landed in the middle cracking the board in half. Then you grabbed his favorite candy and brought it all back to the trailers. You remember him telling you that he had filming till 2 pm today and that he was just going to be at his trailer all day. It was currently 2:15 pm so you decided to head over to his trailer giving him enough time to get to his trailer and that it takes about 5-10 minutes to get to his trailer. When you get to his trailer you stand in front of the door talking to yourself working the courage to knock on it. But of course the door opens revealing Jack in his Ethan clothing.

“Why are you talking to yourself outside my trailer and why do you have your hands behind your back?” Jack questioned pointing his finger behind you.

“Oh uh no reason” You said, straightening your posture.

He squinted his eyes then also straightened his posture. You both just stared at each other before he broke out of trance. He goes back to pointing at your back.

“Sooooooo are you going to show me what’s behind your back?” He asked, raising his right eyebrow.

“Well I uh wanted to as- give you something” that was a nice save by you.

“Well what is it”

I pull the skateboard out first, handing it to him. His eyes lighting up immediately, him jumping up and down.

“You rembered about my skateboard?” he said questioning but still jumping a little.

“Yes of course I did but that’s not all”

He widened his eyes as you pulled out his favorite candy. He takes it just staring at it with his mouth open.

“Ok this is the last thing” you said as he placed the stuff down to the left.

You pulled the flowers and card from behind you scared when he for when he reads the card.

He takes it and hugs you “Thank You so much I didn’t realize that you remembered this stuff.”

He pulled back, noticing the card, tilting his head a little pulling it from the flowers.

“From the Valintines day Santa,” he paused “Who the fuck is the Valitines day Santa” he said chucking.

“ Well I thought because Santa gives people gifts why not I be the Valentine's Day Santa because I’m giving you gifts?” The last part sounds more like a question than a statement.

He pulled out the card reading it, his eyes widened at a part. You're scared but you notice something on the back of the card, it says love the Valentine's day Santa like you put on it but then you see small lettering saying love Mason and Jasmin. Yep it’s just time to pack it all up and never talk to Jack because you sure as hell know what they said in that letter.

He knits his brows then looks at you “ You have a crush on me?” he asked, waiting for a response. But instead you just stutter.

“OH MY GOD JUST KISS ALREADY” you both hear yelling behind you pulling you out of stuttering to reveal Jasmin yelling it.

“LIKE COME ON MAN MAKE A MOVE OR SOMETHING YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU LIKE THEM SO JUST GO FOR IT!” Mason yelled from beside Jasmin.

You both blush as you look back at each other “I guess the cats out the bag” he said in a Disney channel voice shrugging his arms. You scrunch your face in cringe “That wasn’t a good joke?” He said blushing even more. You just simply shook your head no.

“Well I guess we both now know” you said looking down not able to keep eye contact with him.

He smiled and made you have eye contact.

“I guess we do both now know we crushes on eachother Valentines day Santa” you pull away from his hand cringing at the whole name you gave yourself.

“JUST KISS ALREADY MY POPCORN IS GETTING COLD” you look back seeing Devyn now next to them.

“When did you get there?” Jack said scratching the back of his head.

“Idk I just heard them yelling about kissing and I decided to watch” Devyn said going back to eating popcorn.

“Was the popcorn necessary?” you said, grabbing the bridge of your nose. All they did was nod.

“Why are y-“ you were cut off by Jack kissing you. It was short but passionate. He pulled back smiling then looking back at the three behind you making a ruckus. Devon was happy but handed Jasmin $20 because she bet that you would kiss first.

“WHY ARE YOU GUYS yelling?” Turning to the left seeing Jenna with a confused expression.

“THEY BOTH FINALLY KISSED” Mason yelled raising his two fists up and down.

“THEY BOTH FINNALY FUCKING KISSED AFTER SO-“ Jenna was cut off by another door opening revealing Melissa “Wait who’s kissing?” She questioned while leaning more to see who it was.“jack and-“ Jasmin started before mellisa saw you two “THEY FINALLY CAN STOP BEING PAINFULLY OBVIOUS ABOUT THEIR CRUSH NOW”

“ We were obvious,” Jack said, raising his arms, “and no one told us” you said right after him.

Josh came running over “Bro did they finally confess” Mason nodded his head “ thank god I could not take one more day of their painfully bad flirting on set.”

“Ouch” Jack said “ I thought my flirting was good”

“It wasn’t” you said as he looked at you with a fake hurt look and his hands on his heart.

“Anyways after we were RUDELY INTERRUPTED, yes Valentines day Santa I will be your valentine.”

And that’s how it started now two years later you both are as happy as ever living together with butters.

—————————————————————————

W/n 1 I feel like the beginning I don’t like but I love then ending but now I’m in a slight Jack era of writing so yeah.👍

W/n 2 if you like my writing I would appreciate it if people request because it takes me so long to think of prompts.

[msfcatlover]

The Public Personas I think each Wayne Kid would get in the Reverse Robins verse

Duke: The easy-going, down-to-earth, reasonable one. Or, perhaps more accurately, the straightman to Bruce’s comedian. Duke’s fond exasperation & surprisingly grown-up attitude as a child made for an excellent counter to Brucie’s bombastic antics, and had plenty of people joking that Duke was the actual parent between the two of them. Seeing the two of them at work is seeing a decade-perfected comedy tag-team in action, and it is a beautiful thing. As Duke grew up, his reputation shifted to being the Chillest Dude (gender neutral) in any given room, and he mastered the sort of subtle, charismatic warmth that makes everyone feel like they’re your best friend. Duke’s one of those celebrities you just want to crack a beer open with and chat about your day, because they seem like they’d be fun to hang out with, y’know? (Which also helps separate him from his hero identities. Duke Thomas? Dress up like a cross between a motorcycle racer & medieval knight in order to speed around downtown, jump off bridges & skyscrapers, and kick the Joker in the face on a biweekly basis? Are you fucking high?)

Damian: Starts out as the acerbic, hotheaded brat. Grows up into Gotham’s favorite Bad Boy With A Heart Of Gold, thanks to both his maintained public attitude & work with helping animals around the world, even after he mostly moves to Bludhaven. (Yes, he rides a motorcycle, wears mostly leather, and has just so many piercings. Most of the piercings are fake, so that they can’t be grabbed in fights; the real ones he almost exclusively wears small studs in. They all come out in preparation for patrol.)

Cassandra: The Ice Queen, so cool & confident that some people genuinely think the family is lying about her selective mutism and it’s just a front so she has an excuse to ignore people. (She is deeply offended by this.) Zero tolerance for bullshit, cutting edge fashionista, single handedly got ASL added as a language course to every school in Gotham, and got plenty of rich jerks to learn if only to know what she was gossiping about with her siblings when they kept glancing over and laughing at everyone else. Universally assumed to be the one who'll take over WE when Bruce retires, despite her complete lack of interest.

Steph: The Wild Child, the only one to follow in Brucie’s footsteps. This was not the persona she wanted but in her society debut gala, something came up and Duke needed a distraction so he could go deal with it. Steph set her shoulders, grabbed a bottle off the snack table behind them, and said, “You got it.” First impressions are everything, and she never could shake that one… not helped by the fact that sometimes, an empty-headed party girl was exactly what they needed to gather information, and Steph had both the reputation to play the part & clout to get wherever she wanted once Bruce fostered her. (After her death, people call it a “downward spiral.” Others counter this with a clip from an interview she gave earlier that year, where Stephanie Brown talked about her hard work in school & the community, and her frustration over her reputation. “Of course it bothers me,” she said, “It bothers me that what I’m wearing matters more than the causes I promote. It bothers me that a few sips of wine outweigh organizing an entire event. It bothers me that flirting with people my own age upsets people more than a fucking shooting in downtown Gotham!” She laughed bitterly. “Is it the hair? Should I dye it? Would that make people take me more seriously?” She turned to look directly into the camera, tears shining in her eyes. “I’m—I’m sixteen. What do you want from me?”)

Tim: Tim starts out as the resident Cool Nerd. He’s friendly, he’s chill, he likes skateboarding & computer games—and also, he GMs on the weekends, he likes to solve math puzzles & write his own algorithms, he knows more about the history of sci-fi than any human has right to. Tim’s the kind of nerd who makes his nerdy hobbies seem cool by association. (Still figuring the rest out, honestly. Since he’s Oracle in this verse, part of me feels like he’d stay out of the public eye more? But another part of me says Tim would make his public persona as loud as possible, so that people think of him beyond his injury. “Bruce Wayne’s Paraplegic Son” is not an identity Tim would ever be okay letting people define him by, I think. I know he does a lot of charity work, and is more open to talking about his challenges than Cass is, in a very “if I tell you upfront, you can’t use it against me (also, maybe someone else needs to hear this)” kinda way. I know he’s still involved in the business world to some degree. I’m just having trouble pinning down how Tim would characterize Timothy Drake-Wayne [post-injury] to the public.)

Jason: Jason is kinda the inverse of Damian, being soft-spoken & seemingly shy until you bring up a cause he cares passionately about. He's very protective of his siblings, and is responsible for about 80% of the "Wayne Kids Spotted! You Won't Believe These Adorable Pictures!" tabloid headlines (Cass & Damian dote on Jason, those candids being one of the only times people get pictures of their "soft sides." Jason also volunteers to help Duke & Tim out a lot, and is often seen trailing after them trying to look professional.) Every woman over 30 in Gotham just wants to pinch his pudgy little cheeks, at least until Jason hits his last growth spurt and comes back from a year abroad looking like an absolute hunk. But still just as humble, just as polite, and just as passionate about helping others. Isn't he just a Big Ol' Marshmallow? (Jason maintains this reputation mainly by biting his tongue & constantly reminding himself if he can't think of anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. After every single interview or public event, you can find him down in the cave, ranting to himself about everything that pissed him off and taking it out on the poor training dummies.)

Dick: Started out very surly & private, but all his siblings defended that the poor boy had gone through so much trauma in under a year (losing his parents, being taken from the family he grew up with, and then losing Bruce just a few months later,) that it was only to be expected. They worked hard to keep him protected from the public eye while he was grieving. When little Richie finally made his public debut, Gotham was delighted to discover an energetic Sunshine Child, who wasn't exactly a great listener & was more than a bit of a showoff, but gosh darn if he wasn't the cutest thing anyone had seen in years. (Dick keeps up the shallow-but-cheerful Sunshine act all the way into his adult life, coming the closest out of any of them to having a true Brucie persona as an adult.)

[roryslut]

skater boy prt 1-clyde x skatergirl!reader

part 2 here

friendstolovers‼️ you run into a cute guy at the skatepark and get more than you intended…

warnings‼️ drinking, mention of weed, making out, one mention of kinda grinding

it was a normal day like any, i had gotten of of school, came home, ate, spun some vinyls, and then drove the the skatepark. it was around six and the park was a little busy. i am always nervous when i go to the skatepark but i feel like i am getting better so i decided to roll in.

i set my things down like my water and coat and i started just making laps around the skatepark. there were a lot of people around but i decided to drop into the bowl. i have done this for a while now and I just skated around, feeling the wind hit my face. it went on for a little until it was time for me to dismount, but i must have gotten a bit too much speed because when i came up the ramp the board flew out from under me and i made a harsh landing on the cement.

“fuck” i mustered, it’s not like i’ve never fallen before but, i felt especially embarrassed when i hear someone ask, “hey are you okay?”

i peel myself off the pavement, i look at the man’s face, he was around my age and pretty cute with his long wavy hair. he had a kind face and was smiling when he handed me my skateboard back. “yeah…” i said, a little shaken, rubbing my head and checking i didn’t rip my jeans.

“i’m not worried about the jeans,” the man laughed, looking me up and down, “i mean your head, you took a slam.”

“oh, yeah, shit happens, it’s cool.” i shrugged off, as my head cleared i started to blush realizing how nice he was being to me. i held out my hand, introducing myself and he responded with a beam, “my name is clyde, it’s nice to meet you too.”

we kept talking and learned we had a lot in common, we both liked skating and music and had a similar style and humor. i started telling him about some of the shows i had been to in the area, some of the local bands i thought were good.

things went on like this for a while, we chatted a lot at the skatepark while we were resting and sometimes even got food together after. we exchanged numbers and kept chatting. i learned he was deaf and we both smoked weed, and… we were both single.

a couple weeks later, we were talking more about local bands and i mentioned one i thought broke up and i hadn’t seen them in a year, but i loved their music and shows. “damn, when was the last time i saw them?” i questioned to myself.

“no way!” he blurted, snapping me out of thought, “they are playing tonight at the venue down the road, i was going to go with johnny but he didn’t seem very excited.”

“what! really! i haven’t seen them in like a year.” i say obviously excited. “yeah so i have two tickets, you know.” i felt confident and asked, “is this your way of asking me to come with you?”

clyde blushed and turned away, “yeah if you want.” he stated. i also nodded, “what time are you going?” i asked, he responded around 8.

“okay, well how about i skate home and you pick me up when im ready?” i asked, “why do you need to go home?” he asked tilting his head. “well i have to shower and change clothes.” i said. “well…” he paused, “i have a shower and clothes at my house??”

i laughed, “wow, i mean if you insist, i mean, i guess i don’t expect a deaf guy to be a kidnapper.”

he chuckled and lead me to his van, when we arrived at the house i took a quick shower and changed into my skating pants and one of clyde’s t-shirts. i looked a little silly, especially with my hair still wet, but i didn’t care. “clyyddee, how will i do my makeup??” i complained.

he walked into the steamy bathroom, “you don’t need makeup, doll. you always took great.” clyde said with a genuine smile. i blushed a little at his charming words and kept drying my hair. “i’m just saying, it’s a show- even a concert, and i look like i’m going back out skating.” i frowned.

clyde smiled, “well i guess since you are dressed for the occasion… we could skate there.” i looked at him confused, “really?”

“yeah, it’s close by and i’m sure snow could give us a ride home, or you know a taxi or something.” i nodded and packed my things to go to the show.

when we got there, clyde gave the tickets to the bouncers who looked at him suspiciously but we got inside and met snow. she was very nice and pulled me close to talk in my ear over the loud music. she smelled like good perfume and hairspray.

i returned to clyde’s side counting the seconds till the band came out, until the drums rolled and the curtains opened and the flashing lights blinded me. i was so excited i couldn’t help but scream with the crowd and grab onto clyde’s arm. he tensed a little and looked at me but then relaxed and headbanged to the music with me.

the night was really fun, we recited the lyrics and i danced with snow. me and clyde downed drinks at the bar and stumbled around, holding onto eachother and giggling. it was really fun and towards the end of the set i grabbed tight onto clyde’s hand and pulled him through the crowd the the front of the venue.

you could feel the bass in the speakers in your feet and smell the sweat of the band and people in the crowd. clyde was surprised at the action and looked a little rustled. i turned around to face him, we were very close and almost pushed together in the large mass of people. i fixed his hair that was slightly disheveled and he slowly brought his hands to my waist. it almost felt like an instinct at this point, he was a little nervous but the action was comfortable.

i fixed his hair and looked at him under the flashing stage lights with the music blaring in my ears. i was staring right into his eyes, seeing his whole face at once, which wasn’t often since his shaggy hair always hung in front of it. i admired him, my eyes flicking from his eyes to his eyebrows, his straight nose, his strong cheekbones, his chiseled jaw. i knew it from the moment i met him that he was just my type.

my eyes quickly flashed to his lips, he seemed to notice and i swiftly turned back around. his hands stayed planted on the sides of my hips and i held them around my waist. i liked it. the music started playing and i kept having fun and spinning around with clyde, and i would be lying if i said i didn’t grind on him a little.

it wasn’t crazy, but i made sure that even though my jeans were baggy, he could feel my ass pressed against him.

when the show was over i suggested we skate to the skate park and my car was still there. he agreed and we quickly skated down the road. it was inclined and we flew through the empty street together, laughing. the dim street lights and the bright moon was the only light source and we watched our shadows disappear and reappear underneath us. i was so surprised we had this much energy, but it wasn’t a long skate when we arrived.

we were both really tired, clyde sat down on his board and i tried to do some new tricks. i could flip the board right but i couldn’t seem to land my two feet on the board. “what’s going on, doll?” he smirked.

“i don’t know you tell me!” i said a little frustrated. he just laughed and stood from his board. “well first you are still probably a little drunk, and well-you got the first part down, you are just scared to land.”

i nodded and stood back on my board, he grabbed both my hands and told me to try again. i jumped and tried, but my feet slipped of the board a little.

he laughed as he held me up and i got back on the board again, but this time i landed but lost my balance and the board flew out from under my feet. i yelped quickly but clyde held me tight, setting me back of my feet. he went to retrieve my skateboard setting it by my feet. “wait,” he said. i look down confused. “your shoe is untied.” he laughed and looked up at me with his icy blue eyes almost glowing in the dark. he continues to tie my laces and then stands up, offering his hands again.

this time, i jumped and landed successfully, clyde gave me a lot of support for balance, but i didn’t fall off! i was so excited and smiled really hard, i looked at clyde who’s face was also grinning and he said, “yes! i knew you could do it!”

it got quiet for a second, i had stepped off my board and was looking up at him in the windy night, our hands still interlocked. i started, “listen, clyde, thank you so much for tonight, i have appreciated it more—“

clyde quickly cut me off my pressing his face to mine. i couldn’t believe it, it was so soon and sudden and i wan not expecting it. i immediately melted into his mouth, my hands fell to wrap around him and his hands rested on me. one behind me, slightly grazing my ass and the other one behind my neck to pull me into his mouth.

we finally pulled away to catch our breath. “wow” was all i said. “please tell me you feel the same way i feel about you.” was all clyde said with his eyebrows furrowed. i smiled “well,” i said, “tell me how you feel about me.”

he paused and caught his breath, “well, ever since i met you i feel like my life is better.” he laughed, “i know it seems strange but even our small conversations at the skatepark kept me coming here like every single day.” he said. “i know you are a really kind and genuine person, aswell as a drop-dead gorgeous girl…” he said tucking some hair behind my ear. i blushed harshly but gained my composure, “wow,” was all i felt like i could say again. “i like you too clyde,” his face eased, “like really, really, really like you.” i giggled playfully and fell into his arms. he smiled and hugged me tight. he tucked his face in my hair and whispered slightly in my ear. “so does that mean you can be the skater girl to this skater boy?” he asked.

i cringed a little, but laughed, “i guess so,” i laughed, “i haven’t ever had a boyfriend like you, but i like it, you make me feel different then i ever have before. i feel heard and understood around you. we vibe.” i said simply. he smiled lovingly and picked up my skate board to pack it into my car. “okay, i’ll see you another day at the skatepark i guess…” he stood next to my car and kissed me slightly though the window before leaning away and letting me back out and drive home.

i’m assuming he went back to the show and went back with snow, but i guess i won’t know until i see him again. but let me tell you, i can’t wait to see that skater boy again.

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

hello :) So have about we do a fanfic we’re reader is Knoxvilles daughter (she’s like 14-15 whatever) and she does stunts but not like the ones the guys do. So one stunt reader does a crazy stunt and gets very mildly hurt but papa Knoxville is not very happy and very worried???

sorry if this long asf 😭😭 ok bye bye love ya 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

Knoxville’s Girl

When Johnny’s daughter does her first stunt (behind her father’s back, mind you) he isn’t very happy with his buddies who helped her out.

(Fluff)

1.1k Words

Warnings: Injuries, mention of underage drinking

An: Thank you so much for the request!! Sorry for the long wait in writing this but as a side note you always give me really interesting requests so thank you XD I decided to add in the fact Y/N skates in this fic because when I was 15 I was really adamant about learning. I never did, but I acquired quite a host of bruises as a result! I still have my old board lying around somewhere, I think…Anyways, thank you for the request and please keep them comming!!

Despite what most of America would think, your dad was one of the most responsible men you knew- at least, when it came to you. A lot of this negative press could be attributed to his whole line of work as a stunt man and generally rowdiness with his best friends who he was so close to that you often referred to them as your uncles. As far back as you could remember, you begged him to let you do stunts- it didn’t even have to be all that crazy, you told him. Hell, you would settle for antiquing one of the guys, but nooo. He would always give you the same reasoning, that he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if anything happened to his little girl. Sure, it was sweet, but it’s not like you were eight years old anymore- you were fifteen, and you could handle a few bruises, what with how you were learning to skateboard (and getting pretty damn good at it if you do say so yourself).

While you were forbidden from any stunts, you were allowed to hang out on set with the other guys in between takes. You spent most of your time sitting around with Bam, shooting the shit and talking about skateboarding for hours until he had to go run off and hurt himself more. One time, when Johnny wasn’t around, he even snuck you a beer from one of the coolers, which you tried really hard to make it look like you didn’t think it was gross. That's all to say that your dad didn’t think he was the best influence on you. You and Bam were pretty close, which is why it was him who you ranted to about all of your problems, “Ughh…my dad never lets me have any fun!” Rolling your eyes, you sat back in your seat as you crossed your arms, “I mean, I’m in high school now! All I wanna do is one stunt- just one!” Bam nodded, listening to you. After a silence, he took a drag off his cigarette and spoke, “I mean, I’m sure we could figure something out…” Your head shot up with these wide, excited eyes and you were practically squealing in disbelief, “Wait, really? Like- really really?!” Grinning at your eagerness, Bam shrugged, “Why not? Hell, I’ll get Steve-O in on it too- I’m sure he could come up with somethin’ that won’t get you old man’s panties in’a bunch.”

The idea came from, of all places, a Willie E. Coyote cartoon- you know, the whole ‘painting a tunnel on a wall and getting someone to run into it’ thing? It was Steve’s idea to put you on a skateboard. “C’mon, all you gotta do is drop in! You can’t fuck it up that bad, Y/N.” He was right, you thought. You’d dropped in a couple of times before at the skatepark and never once did you get hurt, which wouldn’t be a possibility this time around because Bam had the genius idea to put a helmet on you to eliminate any element of risk so there was no way Johnny would ‘get all pissy’ with them and also because it’s not a good idea to get your boss’s daughter concussed.

Poised at the top of the coping, you stared down in dislebeif at the drywall in front of you with the crudely painted tunnel on it that Bam was next to. On the other side was Steve who stood ready with the camera, angling it up as he waved at you. “Alright, little lady! We’re rollin’!” Okay, this was happening. It’s happening. Taking a deep breath, you nodded and, not wanting to look like a total pussy, swallowed any traces of tension you had before squeezing your eyes shut and shifting your weight forward. See, the thing is when you’re on a moving object, it’s kind of a good idea to keep your eyes open so you can, you know, see things. This thought didn’t cross your mind as you hurtled down the vert ramp before crashing into the wall- the wall that was supposed to shatter and leave you completely unscathed. The only problem was that it didn’t. Drywall entirely intact, you bounced off of it, landing on your back with this horrible, burning hot pain in your wrist.

You walked away with a sprained wrist, a black eye, and a couple cuts and bruises. Not too bad for your first real stunt, you thought, and it was funny as hell too, as you discovered when Steve was showing you the footage in the ER waiting room to make you feel better. If only Johnny could see the same humor in it as you did. You would’ve thought they were wheeling you back in a full body cast when they got you back to set later that day. Your dad’s eyes got wide and his jaw nearly hit the ground as he gasped, taking in the sight with a voice dripping in concern, “Jesus Christ…” Hurriedly pulling you into his chest, you were about to say some comment about how you were fine and it was totally worth it cause you had a great time, when he looked up at Steve and Bam like he wanted to bite their heads off, “What the hell did you do to her?” Neither had ever seen Johnny this angry and were both starting to regret being a part of this when Bam piped up, “I mean, I dunno what you’re so mad about, man- she wore a helmet.”

Funny enough, that did end up convincing Johnny to let you in on a couple of their milder Jackass stunts only to make sure you could do this sort of thing in a safer, more controlled environment under his watch. Chasing the guys around with cattle prods, rigging the giant hand to hit them as they walked through the halls of the Dickhouse offices- you even got to help Bam out with doing Rockys on the cast and crew (even though he really thought he was a bad influence now). The only other time you saw your dad that worked up was when Bam came up to him on set in between takes sounding pretty nervous himself. “Hey, Knoxville-“ He jabbed a thumb behind him, “You know I’m usually pretty cool about this kinda stuff, but I don’t really think Y/N should be doin’ stunts like that with wild animals…” Suddenly panicking, Johnny flew out of his seat, running over to the bushes where he heard your snickering, only to find you sitting across with Chris who had his hand in the Black Mamba sock puppet, wiggling it around like a snake and hissing. Falling back laughing, all Johnny could do was shake his head, unable to keep a smile from creeping onto his lips.

[anonymous-dentist]

Some fun facts about myself, because I’m in the mood for it:

I’m asexual! It all just seems deeply unpleasant to me. I even took a class on sex and sexuality for my first college degree, it was kinda just. Funny lol

I’m bi! I have a preference for men, but sometimes I see a woman and I go awooga awooga heart eyes wolf whistle, yk?

I’m autistic! Big surprise there!

I also have ADHD. Big surprise there.

I ALSO have two separate anxiety disorders. Big surprise there.

I have one college degree, and I’m planning on going to school for a paralegal certification in the fall if all goes according to plan

I graduated at number two in my high school senior class of about 600-something people (I would’ve been number one if I didn’t get that one bad test grade in college algebra lol)

I’ve been writing since I was 6 years old, which is crazy!!

I was first published at 11 in the town newspaper for winning a writing competition. What the fuck

Out of all 50 states, I’ve spent 1+ hours in maybe 30 of them. I’ve personally lived in three, and they’re three of the most mid states in the Union!

I learned to count by coloring in US electoral maps in 2004 (age 4)

I learned to read by reading my dad’s biographies in his library (age 3-4)

I can’t ride a bike, but I CAN skateboard. I have a longboard, but I live on a hill rn so I can’t skate as much as I want to rip

I LOVE CATS. But dogs TERRIFY me, they’re evil!!

I’ve taken the equivalent of three years of French language education, and I’m teaching myself Spanish very very slowly. I want to become bilingual in Spanish so I can communicate with the pretty heavy Hispanic population in my area of the country

I have a signed photo of Richard Nixon in my room that my dad gave me on my first birthday

My favorite tv show is Doctor Who, my favorite video game is Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright, my favorite album is Will Wood’s Normal Album, my favorite book is The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and my favorite movie is the Evil Dead 2

Outside of writing, my hobbies are photography and baking!

My favorite animal is the panda because they’re God’s gift to the planet, God Bless Pandas

I have a southern accent :)

[celestiall0tus]

Tales of Bloody Bug and Chat Noir - Chapter 13 - Darkblade

Beginning || Previous || Next

            “Alright, class. Before you head out, don’t forget that class election for representative. We have Chloe running for the position with Sabrina as her deputy. Any other candidates?” Miss Bustier asked.

            Alix looked around the room. No one raised their hand for a few moments before Kim did. She raised a brow as Chloe and Sabrina shot him nasty looks before he lowered his hand. She rolled her eyes as the door opened. She raised a brow as Marinette came in, apologizing while making up some excuse for her tardiness.

            “Alright. Well, I’ll give you all to the end of lunch to decide if you’d like to run for candidate,” Miss Bustier announced.

            The lunch bell rang, and the class dispersed. Alix headed to the courtyard when she was pulled aside by Rose. She yelped as Rose dragged her along into a group with Juleka, Adrien, Nino, and Nathaniel.

            “What is going on?” Alix demanded.

            “We need your help. We need to stop Chloe from running again, dude,” Nino said.

            “I don’t understand what the big deal is. She’s not that bad, right?” Adrien asked.

            “She’s a little monster,” Juleka whispered.

            “Why does this include me?” Alix asked.

            “Because Chloe fears you, dude. Can’t you, like, intimidate her or something?” Nino pushed.

            “Please. Even if I did, someone else would need to fill her shoes as class rep. Any of you gonna do it, cause I sure as hell ain’t,” Alix retorted.

            The group muttered and mumbled to one another as Chloe and Sabrina joined them. Chloe shot Alix a cautious side eye before approaching.

            “Hello, everyone. I just wanted to stop by and remind everyone of my candidacy for class rep. I’m also here to remind you all why you shouldn’t run against me,” Chloe said.

            “Yeah? And what do you have on any of us?” Alix challenged.

            “Oh, let’s see now. Rose, I’ll kick you from scrapbooking club. Nino, I’ll share all the videos of you skateboarding on school grounds to the principal. Adrien, we’re friends, so I don’t need to worry about you. That and you’re far too busy being a model. Oh, Juleka, you already know what I’ll do to that ghost of a brother. Nathaniel, I don’t need to worry about you. And, Kubdel, I’m sure-.”

            Alix stepped into Chloe’s personal space. “Say it and you’ll really learn the meaning of fuck around and find out.”

            Chloe gulped and retreated with Sabrina.

            “Woah, dude! See? You could really put Chloe in her place and even run for class rep,” Nino stated.

            Alix sneered and faced the group. “No. I’m not going to sit here and fight your battles for you. I’ve no interest in this nonsense. You want to dethrone Chloe, do it yourselves.”

            Alix left the group and headed for the school exit.

            “Alix, wait!” Marinette yelled.

            Alix groaned and waited as Marinette joined her.

            “Alix, do you think you could run against Chloe for class rep?” Marinette asked.

            “Oh, for fuck’s sake. I got done telling the others I won’t. I could care less about being a candidate. If you want someone to take Chloe down, why don’t you do it yourself?”

            “Oh! Uh, well, you know, right?”

            Alix raised a brow.

            “Look, we’re not you Alix. We’re not as strong or brave enough to face Chloe. You’re the only one aside from Adrien, but he can’t. That just leaves you. Please, we need someone to take her down.”

            “I. Don’t. Care! I’m not running for some stupid position as class rep just to deal with all of you and your pathetic, weak asses. You want to be strong and brave? Then change and become that. You certainly won’t if you let someone else always fight your battles.”

            “But-!” Marinette started.

            “No. I’m done. Either do something about it, or shut the fuck up and deal with it. I’ve no intention to do anything, so I’m going to deal with it. Either you do the same, or actually do something for once instead of being a stuttering, clumsy, pathetic fool!”

            Marinette’s eyes widened, but she remained silent. Alix let out a breath as she felt countless eyes burn into her. She scoffed, turned, and left. She headed for home when she heard Tikki squeak from her hat.

            “Alix, I commend you for your decisions regarding Chloe, but you were a little too harsh with Marinette,” Tikki reprimanded.

            “Look, maybe, but I’m angry and I’m hungry. Mix the two and it’s a horrible combination.”

            “That’s not an excuse.”

            Alix growled. “Look, can you get off my back until I’ve at least had food?”

            “Fine, but this isn’t over.”

~~

            “So, are there any new candidates?” Miss Bustier asked.

            Adrien glanced around the room. No one raised their hand or moved to challenge Chloe. He considered running against Chloe for the class, but Chloe was right. He was too busy to run with everything his father had him doing.

            “Well, given that Chloe and Sabrina are the only ones running, there’s no need to vote. So, Chloe and Sabrina-,” Miss Bustier started.

            “I’ll run!” Marinette announced.

            Adrien turned and smiled at Marinette with the rest of the class. He admired how she stood with such defiance but couldn’t help noticing the fear in her eyes.

            “Wonderful! You’ll need to develop your campaign and have a speech ready by tomorrow.”

            The last bell rang for the day. Adrien headed out as he saw Marinette and Alya surrounded by Rose, Juleka, Nino, and Ivan. Rose eyed Alix and dragged her into the group. He smiled and sighed as he headed out to fencing.

            Adrien arrived and changed into his gear. He sparred with a few students before he sparred with Mr. D’Argencourt. They danced around the mat before Mr. D’Argencourt held out his arms. He rushed forward to claim victory when Mr. D’Argencourt parried and sent him to the floor, disarming him.

            “Wow, Mr. D’Argencourt, that was some move! I’ve never seen you this on fire before. That was some attack,” Adrien praised.

            “It ought to be. That particular maneuver hither was developed by mine ancestor, Darkblade.”

            “Darkblade?”

            “In the days of yore, Darkblade conquered Paris and ruled over it with an iron fist. Until he was overthrown thence by a wealthy Frenchman who used his dirty gold to buy the loyalties of the common people. To think that not so long ago, my ancestor’s flag was waving above Paris.”

            “Is that why you ran in the election, Mr. D’Argencourt? To seek revenge on you ancestor’s behalf?” Nadja Chamack asked.

            Adrien and Mr. D’Argencourt turned to see Nadja with a cameraman.

            “Par le fer! Who dost we have hither?” Mr. D’Argencourt demanded.

            “Nadja Chamack. Don’t be bemused, it’s just the news. Do you have anything to say about your quote-unquote, ‘landslide defeat’?”

            Mr. D’Argencourt didn’t answer. Nadja opened her mouth, but gasped when Mr. Haprele showed up and shooed her and the cameraman out of the school.

            “Here endeth the lesson,” Mr. D’Argencourt said.

            Adrien hummed and headed to the locker room. He checked his phone to see Chloe had invited him to the launch of her campaign at City Hall. He frowned, hesitant to go. He wanted to support Chloe because she was his friend, but he didn’t appreciate her blackmailing his friends. Maybe if he went, he could reason with her about her approach.

            Adrien changed and headed out of the school. He paused near the entrance as he saw Mr. D’Argencourt pestered by the news crew. He scurried over to Gorilla as Mr. D’Argencourt was transformed into a knight in black armor. He took a step back as Gorilla stood out in front of him. He ran back into the school and hid.

            “Plagg, let’s go. It’s time to transform. Plagg, claws out!”

~~

            Alix sat on the ground at Alya’s feet in City Hall. She fumed at being dragged around by them to Chloe’s campaign launch. She tried to flee, but Alya pinned her down and strapped a kid’s harness to her. She tried to resist by not moving, but Alya just dragged her along on a leash. She made other attempts to free herself but couldn’t get the harness off and Alya didn’t give her any slack.

            “I’m pleased to welcome you all to the official launch of Chloe’s electoral campaign. And a special thanks to world-famous rock star, Jagged Stone, for endorsing her,” Andre Bourgeois announced.

            Alix glanced over at the table that Jagged Stone sat at. Chloe stood next to him as the pair high-fived. Their class gasped in awe at the gesture. Alix growled and rolled her eyes. She grunted as Alya dragged her along again now the line moved as everyone grabbed an autographed album from Jagged Stone.

            “And when you vote for me, you’ll get free tickets to Jagged’s next concert,” Chloe announced.

            Alix growled as she was pulled around. She glared up at Alya as Alya got her autographed album along with another one. They joined the girls as they stood off to the side.

            “You have your bribe. Can I go now?” Alix asked.

            “Aww, but we’re going to head to Liberty. Didn’t you want to join us?” Rose asked.

            “What the hell is a Liberty?”

            “My mom’s ship, and where I live,” Juleka answered.

            “Oh, well, I would love to go if I had a choice in the matter. But no! I’m on a damn leash!” Alix screamed.

            “Well, we should be able to let her go, yeah?” Mylene asked.

            “Please. It’s where she belongs like the rabid dog she is,” Chloe remarked.

            “The fuck did you say? Why don’t you stoop to my level and say that to my face?” Alix challenged.

            Chloe moved forward but was stopped by Andre. He released Alix from the harness before he stood beside Chloe again.

            “I think that’s enough. Go home, Alix. I don’t want any trouble.”

            “Then tell your bitch of a daughter to mind what she says. Daddy can’t protect her forever. Or before, could you?”

            Andre sneered. “Leave now before I have you forcibly removed.”

            Alix spit at Andre’s feet and left City Hall. She headed for home when she spotted a parade of dark-armored knights on route to City Hall. She ducked into a nearby alleyway as the leader transformed every citizen in his path into another knight for his army.

            “Lovely. Alright, Tikki, we gotta transform and find Chat Noir. Tikki, spots on!”

            Tikki disappeared into the earrings and transformed Alix into Bloody Bug. Bloody Bug swung up onto the rooftops as she scanned the horizon for Chat Noir. She spotted him coming from the Pont des Art. She waved him down as they met on a nearby rooftop.

            “Glad you could wait for me, Bug,” Chat Noir remarked.

            “Surprised to see it’s not me rushing into battle first. What’ve you learned?”

            “The victim is a that man that lost the mayoral race. D’Argencourt, I think.”

            “Heard. Any ideas or plans on how to tackle this?”

            “Maybe we could get Lady Tigress?”

            Bloody Bug frowned. “I don’t think Lady Tigress is going to help here. Unless you want to use her as a distraction and have her transformed into a knight.”

            “What? No! But we could-.”

            “No. And I don’t think Bomb Bee’s Venom will work with them in armor. Carapace’s shields might be nice, but there’s also the matter of the army and getting overwhelmed.”

            “Exactly, so we should get Lady Tigress.”

            Bloody Bug clenched her teeth as she grabbed Chat Noir’s bell and pulled him down. “How about this. You go and distract them while I go get the miraculous.”

            “Can do, Bug.”

            Bloody Bug released Chat Noir. She watched him chase down the crusade while she headed for Wang Fu’s massage shop. She slipped in through the window to find Wang Fu mediating.

            “Greetings, Bloody Bug. Come for some assistance?” Wang Fu asked.

            “Assistance and a major ask.”

            “Oh? What’s going on?”

            “Look, I know you said that we’ll give miraculous to those we trust and give them back. Could we possibly, I don’t know, let Lady Tigress keep hers?”

            Wang Fu frowned and raised a brow.

            “Look, I know, but Chat Noir is completely smitten with her. I don’t want to reward whatever is going on, but I need him to focus. He’s already asking for her back, even if she’s not going to be useful against this Akuma.”

            “That seems like more of a reason to not let her have it again.”

            “Oh, for… Chat Noir’s a teenage boy and those fuckers only think with one head. What else did you honestly expect when you gave us the miraculous? And I’d rather he be a damn show pony than a sulking bitch.”

            Wang Fu sighed. “This is very unorthodox, but very well. Give me the address of the girl and I’ll see it dropped off.”

            Bloody Bug nodded and wrote out the address while Wang Fu grabbed the miracle box. She handed him the address while she looked over the jewels. She settled on the rooster’s rings.

            “Thank you and… sorry for, well, myself.”

            “No apologies needed, but this will count for your pick for your team.”

            “Very well. I’ll return.”

            Bloody Bug headed out to City Hall. She found Chat Noir taking on the army of knights before the leader challenged him. Their duel interrupted as Chat Noir was chased by more knights while the leader approached Jagged Stone. She jumped in, scooped up Chat Noir, and dove inside City Hall.

            “It’s Bloody Bug and Chat Noir!” Andre cheered.

            “Bloody Bug! Chat Noir! What do we do?” Rose asked.

            Bloody Bug looked around at her classmates. They were all present save for Chloe.

            “Barricade the doors and windows, then get to safety. Don’t let the knight-,”

            “Darkblade,” Chat Noir cut in.

            Bloody Bug stifled a growl. “Don’t let Darkblade get near you. He’ll be sure to add you to his army with Jagged Stone and most of Paris.”

            Everyone nodded. They moved to barricade the door and retreated. Bloody Bug watched them leave save for Chloe, who was missing.

            “So, where’s Lady Tigress?” Chat Noir asked.

            “She won’t be joining us for this one.”

            “What? I thought you were-.”

            “Bloody Bug?” Chloe whimpered.

            Bloody Bug and Chat Noir turned around to see Chloe peek out from behind the front desk. Bloody Bug moved around and helped Chloe up.

            “Is it over? Is that knight gone?” Chloe asked.

            “No, but-,” Bloody Bug started.

            “What’s this?” Chat Noir asked.

            Bloody Bug glanced over to see Chat Noir holding an odd book with a pink and white polka dot cover. She swiped it away from him and skimmed through it. She landed on an entry that described the experience of being a hero and getting to fight alongside Alya and Nino. She closed the book and stuffed it into her yo-yo.

            “Hey! I needed that!” Chloe yelled.

            “We’re talking about this later, Chloe. Right now, we need to save Paris.”

            “We?” Chloe and Chat Noir echoed.

            Bloody Bug held out the chained rings. “Chloe Bourgeois, in my hand is the miraculous of pretension. Wield this with honor, bring down the foe that threatens our city, and return them to me once the battle is over.”

            Chloe’s face lit up as she slipped on the rings. An orb shot out, circled her, then formed into a rooster kwami.

            “Hiya! I’m Orikko, kwami of pretension.”

            “Well, hello. I’m Chloe Bourgeois, your, uh, what am I?”

            “Don’t worry about it. Orikko, tell her what she needs to know,” Bloody Bug said.

            “Right! Chloe, with me you have the power called Sublimation. It grants you any power you wish that doesn’t belong to another kwami. To transform, you need only say ‘Orikko, sunrise.’ Then say, ‘Orikko, sunset,’ to de-transform.”

            Chloe grinned. “Orikko, sunrise!”

            Orikko disappeared into the rings. Chloe’s outfit transformed into an orange two-tone halter top, orange ballgown gloves, navy blue pants, thigh-high yellow boots, and a navy blue pleated skirt cape. Her ponytail came undone as her hair fell around her and a feather pen appeared nestled in it. Gold bands adorned her gloves, shirt, hip, and boots as a diadem sat on her forehead with a fleur-de-lis.

            Chloe gasped as she twirled around. “I look fabulous!”

            “Stunning. Now, you need a name,” Bloody Bug said.

            “Hmm. What about, uh, well, hmm.”

            “How about Gallic Chick? Sound good?” Bloody Bug asked.

            “Hmm, I like it. Gallic Chick it is.”

            “Alright, Gallic Chick, we need you to keep the army at bay while Cat and I target the leader. Can you do that?”

            “You got it!”

            “Good. Let’s go.”

            Bloody Bug, Chat Noir, and Gallic Chick burst out of City Hall to find Darkblade’s knights scaling the walls. Bloody Bug motioned to follow as they headed for the roof ahead of Darkblade and his knights.

            “Villains! Doust thou think thou can stop me?” Darkblade yelled.

            “Uh, yeah? I mean, what are you going to do about it?” Bloody Bug taunted.

            “Thou shall see. When mine banner sits upon this castle, all of Paris shall be mine! Attack!”

            “In your dreams, loser! Sublimation!”

            Gallic Chick’s feather pen glowed. She pulled it out of her hair and wrote in the air, picking the power of obedience. Bloody Bug and Chat Noir exchanged glances as Gallic Chick stepped forward.

            “Kneel!” Gallic Chick commanded.

            Darkblade and his army paused before they fell to their knees. Bloody Bug and Chat Noir grimaced while Gallic Chick approached Darkblade.

            “Release your Akuma,” Gallic Chick ordered.

            Darkblade bowed his head. The Akuma flew from his sword, and he reverted to Mr. D’Argencourt. Bloody Bug caught and purified the Akuma. She released it and everyone afflicted reverted to their normal selves. She took a breath and joined Gallic Chick with Mr. D’Argencourt.

            “What happened? Where am I?”

            Gallic Chick opened her mouth, but Bloody Bug held up a hand that silenced her.

            “You were akumatized. Why?”

            “Why? To overthrow that usurper Bourgeois and take what is mine,” Mr. D’Argencourt answered.

            “For what? The election? You lost fair and square.”

            Gallic Chick laughed. “Hardly. It was all perfectly planned. The best way to beat your opponent is to undermine and humiliate them.”

            Bloody Bug’s eye twitched. “Chat Noir, go take Gallic Chick inside and wait for me.”

            “Fine, but I need to talk to you after you’re done here,” Chat Noir remarked.

            Bloody Bug rolled her eyes as Chat Noir left with Gallic Chick.

            “What now?” Mr. D’Argencourt asked.

            “Look, I’m sorry you lost, and that you’re dealing with whatever you are, but was it really worth getting turned into a dark knight?”

            Mr. D’Argencourt sighed. “I suppose not.”

            “Good man. Please, try to remember that. And let’s not meet again like this.”

            Mr. D’Argencourt nodded. Bloody Bug saw him off before she headed inside. She eyed Chat Noir upstairs, waiting for her, and her classmates back in the lobby. She grabbed Marinette and Sabrina before she joined Chat Noir and Chloe. She sat them down in an empty room and pulled out Marinette’s diary.

            “Alright, Chloe, explain why you had this,” Bloody Bug demanded.

            Chloe gulped. “Well, I, found it and was going to return it.”

            Bloody Bug narrowed her eyes.

            Chloe shifted and then sighed. “Fine! I was going to blackmail pigtails here to drop out of the class rep election we have going on. That’s the best way to win.”

            “Chloe, that’s the way to make enemies. You saw what happened to that man out there that was the results of your father’s actions. Did you really want to do the same here to Marinette? Did you want to get her akumatized and have her come after you like Evillustrator and Reflekta?”

            “Well, that’s what you guys are for. Plus, if she did come after me, you’d be there to protect me. And if you’re there, then what could be better?”

            “Chloe, you’re talking about traumatizing someone for your own small personal gain. Is it really worth putting anyone through such an experience?”

            “It wouldn’t be the first time,” Marinette muttered.

            “Pardon?” Bloody Bug asked.

            “Nothing!” Chloe blurted.

            “Last year. Kim and the spiders,” Marinette remarked.

            “That wasn’t my idea! I just told him you like jokes and he was the one that ran with it. So, not my fault.”

            “You recorded the whole thing! You got Socequline expelled over it when she broke your phone to protect me. And now you’re trying to read my diary just so you can win this stupid class rep election. Maybe if you were a nicer person, we’d actually want you in charge!” Marinette yelled as she cried.

            “Oh, please. You have no evidence of that. You just of the word of that loser.”

            “I saw you that day. I saw you laughing and mocking me as you recorded the whole thing. You and Kim both, and Sabrina too! I was so embarrassed and humiliated. I thought I found someone that liked me, but they turned out to be just like you.”

            “Alright, we’re getting off course. Look, Chloe, this is wrong. You shouldn’t be undermining your opponents like this. If you want to win, you need to prove yourself a leader in action, not through force and blackmail. That’s not a leader. That’s a tyrant,” Chat Noir butted in.

            “And tyrants bred rebellion,” Bloody Bug added.

            Chloe huffed and looked away. Bloody Bug shook her head and tossed Marinette her diary.

            “Go on, Marinette. I’m sorry this happened.”

            Marinette stood and hugged Bloody Bug. “Thank you for stopping it.”

            Bloody Bug grimaced and patted Marinette’s head. She moved away to Sabrina.

            “And you, I know you’re Chloe’s lackey. And it was likely you that stole the diary in the first place,” Bloody Bug hissed.

            Sabrina whimpered and sunk down.

            “Don’t do it again. Now, get out.”

            Sabrina nodded and ran out. Marinette hugged Bloody Bug again before she left. Bloody Bug sighed and approached Chloe with Chat Noir.

            “Chloe, I cannot reward these behaviors. You have the potential to be a hero, I can see it. However, I cannot entrust you with a miraculous again until I see some change in you in your civilian life.”

            “What? But that’s not fair. You can’t cut me out like that!”

            “I’m not. I’ll be watching you to see how you’ll change, but I need to see a hero in and out of costume, Chloe. You can still have ruthless tactics, but you need to better use them that isn’t just for personal gain or to harm others.”

            “This is ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous! I did as you told me. I stopped them like you wanted. You should have told me how you wanted it done!”

            “I should have, but I also have to trust your actions and you’ll do the right thing in the end. You used your powers as I asked, but the methods of how you achieved that is concerning. Coupled with how you were set on humiliating that Marinette girl for your own personal gain, I cannot allow it until I see change in you.”

            Chloe screamed. “Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous! You better give me it back or I’ll have Daddy-!”

            “Your father has no control over us, Chloe,” Bloody Bug cut in.

            “Yeah, and I agree with Bug. I didn’t like what I saw back there. The other heroes have proven themselves, but I share her concern over you,” Chat Noir voiced.

            “No one asked you, fleabag!” Chloe spat.

            “Right there. I may have been the same way, I can have my moments still and will, but I see now I need to work with Cat, as well as any other heroes we employ. If we cannot work as one, we will fall,” Bloody Bug interjected.

            “Speaking of, you didn’t get Lady Tigress like I wanted,” Chat Noir mumbled.

            Bloody Bug reached up, pinched Chat Noir’s jaw, and pulled him down to her level. “You owe me big for what I did.”

            Chat Noir’s ears perked up. “What did you do?”

            “You’ll find out. I’d hate to ruin the surprise.”

            Chat Noir’s eyes darted back and forth before they widened. He grinned as he scooped up Bloody Bug in an embrace. She screeched as he spun around, holding her like a doll.

            “You’re amazing, Bug! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re my bestest friend ever!”

            “Help! He’s crazy!” Bloody Bug screamed.

            Chat Noir stopped spinning as he nuzzled Bloody Bug and purred.

            “Holy fuck, he purrs,” Bloody Bug remarked.

            “This all touching, but back to me,” Chloe demanded.

            “Look, I’ll be keeping an eye on you. If I see you doing better and trying to be better, then you can be loaned a miraculous again. Understood?”

            Chloe crossed her arms and pouted.

            Bloody Bug shrugged. She squirmed out of Chat Noir’s arms and headed for the door. “I’ll see you both later. Bug out.”

~~

            Adrien took his seat in Miss Bustier’s class after the first bell. He had been giddy since Bloody Bug hinted that Lady Tigress would be back and permanently. She didn’t say it, but what else could she have meant that would make him owe her? If it was the case, he could see Lady Tigress at the next attack, whenever that would be.

            Adrin hummed. Each attack usually happened within a span of a week on average. He didn’t want to wait that long, but what choice did he have? Unless he pulled a move like Chloe and cause someone to get akumatized. The idea made him sick, but it was a little tempting if he could see Lady Tigress again.

            “Attention, everyone! I have news regarding the class rep election. Chloe has decided to advocate and withdraw, so by default, Marinette wins!” Miss Bustier announced.

            The class all gasped before they celebrated Marinette except for Alix, Chloe, and Sabrina. The other girls pulled Alix into the celebration, but she didn’t participate like them.

            “Alright, settle down, class. We have a few other things to go over before All Saint’s holiday,” Miss Bustier said.

            Adrien perked up at the reminder of the upcoming holiday. He remembered the particles group project with Alya and Luka. His mind whirled with ideas of ways to possibly get either of them akumatized. Alya already was, so it could happen again. Luka, well, he didn’t like the idea of hurting Luka when he was trying to be friends with Luka, but one time couldn’t hurt, right? As long as he was careful about it and Bloody Bug never learned about it, he could be ok. Besides, he just wanted to see Lady Tigress again and that wasn’t wrong, right? Perhaps he could get Alya to help them both.

            The bell rang for their next class. Adrien gathered his things and headed towards his next class. He spotted Alya with Marinette. He hurried over, calling out to Alya.

            “Hey, Adrien, what’s up?” Alya asked.

            “Could I speak with you for a moment, alone? It’s about our group project.”

            “Oh? Certainly. I’ll catch you later, girl,” Alya said.

            Marinette nodded and hurried to her next class.

            “So, what’s up?”

            “Well, I had an idea for the project and something that might interest you.”

            “Oh? I’m all ears.”

            “It won’t be anything pretty, may result in someone getting akumatized, and also might get Juleka angry with us, but it could lead to a certain discovery,” Adrien warned.

            Alya hummed, then smirked. “Well, the stakes are high, but I’m in.”

[chelseeebe]

teenage dirtbag.

i couldn’t tell u when this is set, sometime in the 00’s i guess??? so modern!steve?? idk, there’s also bestfriend!eddie i love it <3 they’re in college bc i am too old to be writing high school characters all the time

also reader is like a skater? teenage dirtbag? dunno but she’s cool x steve is v bashful n shy i luv it

summary: your best friend’s roommate had never met anyone like you, he was captivated from the first time he laid eyes on you. but would his shyness mess everything up?

steve could smell the weed all the way down the hallway, he didn’t even need to open the door.

‘eddie i’ve told you not to smoke in-,’ he barrels into the room, interrupted at the sight of you sat cross legged on eddies bed, holding the spliff.

‘oh, hi y/n,’ he smiles meekly at you, dropping his backpack onto his bed.

‘sorry steve, it’s too cold to go outside,’ you smile back at him, passing the spliff back to eddie.

‘it’s okay.. you just aren’t supposed to smoke in here but it’s okay,’ he stumbles over his words, collapsing on his bed.

‘yeah, sorry bro,’ eddie smirks, leaning back against the wall.

‘i’m gonna go,’ you look at the imaginary watch on your wrist, ‘i am definitely already late,’ you get off the bed, slinging your bag over your shoulder and putting on your large headphones.

‘i’ll see you later?’ eddie says, nodding at you.

‘i’m all finished at six, just wait outside for me,’ you smile before leaving the room.

eddie looks over at steve, who has been completely enthralled in your movements the last few minutes.

‘dude, you are so obvious,’ eddie chuckles, putting the end of the joint in his makeshift ashtray.

‘wha- what? shut up,’ his cheeks are now red, suddenly interested in sorting out the books on his bedside table.

‘she won’t fuck you, bro, not really her type,’ eddie teases, smiling over at steve.

‘i don’t- you’re- ugh shut up, please,’ steve agonises, looking down at his lap.

eddie just laughs, collapsing into himself at his pathetic roommate.

-

thankfully eddie is waiting outside for you after class. the last time you’d told him to meet you after you’d finished, he took it upon himself to introduce himself to your entire class, as loud as possible, ending in an over performative bow.

unfortunately, you’d been best friends with the freak since elementary school, practically joined at the hip since he’d first walked into your second grade class.

you were both so similar, yet so different. he’d taken a liking to heavy metal and his fantasy games whereas you’d learned to skateboard and preferred pop-punk and bands. nevertheless, you were still thick as thieves, taking it in turns to be in charge of the music.

‘thank you for staying outside this time,’ you walk up to join him.

‘you’re so boring, they all loved it,’ he matches his pace to yours.

‘hmm, not sure about that.. what we doing tonight?’ you question.

‘well, that’s up to you darling, we could.. smoke orrr smoke?’

you nod, jutting out your bottom lip in contemplation, ‘okay, i’m liking the second option,’ you link your arm in his, leaning into his body, ‘just not in your room this time.’

‘stevie boy loves it, don’t worry,’ he clutches onto you, smirking as he leads the way back to your dorm.

‘nah, it’s not fair.. there’s that bonfire tonight? smoke up round the fire?’

‘sounds good to me,’ he nods, walking back arm in arm with you through the cold november air.

-

you’re sprawled out on his bed, legs over eddies, one of your cds blaring out of the player on his dresser. they were intended to be used for school work but eddie preferred to scribble his out on a scrap of paper on the way to class.

the pair of you had tried to go to the bonfire but quickly found that the attendees were not those typically interested in a smoke up, instead sipping on their warm cider and gushing about s’mores. so you ended up back in his dorm.

‘nah, i’m telling you now.. if aliens ever decided to come to this planet.. they would not wanna be friends with us,’ you state, giggling.

‘no, you’re wrong. you are so wrong, i’m definitely being friends with the aliens, are you kidding? they’d love me,’ he’s totally over confident in his statement, having given this situation much contemplation before.

the door opens and steve wobbles in, slightly intoxicated from the bonfire you’d both just attended.

steve hung around with his basketball team most of the time, desperately hoping to find an in with the frat boys that had joined basketball.

‘you good?’ you sit up slightly, watching him stumble around the room before collapsing on his bed.

‘i am.. great.. i love this song,’ he bangs his head to the guitar riff, brown hair flopping over his face.

you can’t stifle your laugh, your high not helping, ‘you know this song?’

‘no.. i just love it,’ he looks up at you, the smile disappearing from his face, ‘ohh shit, did i interrupt something?’ slightly taken aback at your bare legs tangled in with eddies.

‘no- god no, with him?’ you fake a gag, looking over at steve.

eddie slaps your calf, leaving a red mark where his hand had struck, ‘don’t be so fucking rude.. and for your information i would rather die than touch you,’ he jokes.

you open your mouth, feigning offence at his words.

‘well that’s slightly dramatic,’ you kick your leg at him, knocking the lit joint out of his hand. he curses under his breath, brushing the ash off of his bed.

steve is sat in awe at your dynamic, he’d never had a female friend like that, it was never strictly platonic with him.

‘you wanna smoke with us, stevie?’ you ask, raising your eyebrows at the boy sat opposite.

‘i don’t really- yeah, actually i will,’ he says, the low buzz from the alcohol only encouraging him.

you’re shocked, you’d taken him for such a square, the fact he was even tipsy was blowing your mind.

‘well, you better get rolling mr. munson.’

eddie’s in shock, his roommate barely even stayed awake past 10pm, let alone did narcotics.

but he obliges, rolling another joint and lighting it before offering it over to steve who takes the joint very awkwardly between his fingers.

you’re sat up on the bed now, watching him try to manoeuvre the spliff.

‘you have smoked before, haven’t you?’

‘yeah.. course,’ he’s struggling with the spliff as you go over to his bed, sitting next to him and taking it out of his hand.

‘look, like this,’ you hold it between your fingers, taking a drag and making a point to exaggerate how you inhale, blowing a cloud of smoke into his face.

‘right.. right, i have done it.. i just.. forgot,’ it’s unbeknownst to you, but he’s trying to impress you, not wanting to appear like such a loser. eddie definitely picks up on it, grinning at the demonstration.

steve copies you, coughing as the smoke hits his lungs.

‘there we go, now do it again and don’t cough,’ eddie snarks from the other bed. you shoot him a glare, honestly feeling bad for steve. he’d obviously lead a very clean-cut life and here you two were corrupting him.

he does it again, and again and again. you have to take the spliff out of his fingers before he does it anymore.

‘hey, hey.. might wanna slow down there big boy,’ you take the spliff back over to eddie, perching on the edge of his bed.

steve giggles at the nickname, leaning back and whacking his head against the wall.

you grimace as he clutches his head, still giggling at the nickname you’d given him.

‘ouch,’ he smiles, the multitude substances numbing his pain.

‘good god, you are a mess,’ eddie states, you lightly slap his leg in response, leaning back against his body.

steve jolts up, suddenly straight faced as he scrambles to get off the bed.

‘i’m just- i’ve gotta-,’ he gags, practically running out of the room.

‘oh fuck,’ your hand slaps over your mouth, attempting to hide your smile.

eddie just loses it, bursting out laughing as his roommate whiteys in the communal bathroom.

‘eddie.. it’s not..’ you snort, unable to control your laugh. it wasn’t really funny, it was just the fact he was so overconfident smoking it in the first place.

you spring up, ‘i’m gonna make sure he’s okay, don’t fucking laugh when he comes back.’

he can’t even respond, he’s laughing that hard.

you walk up to the shared bathroom, knocking lightly at the door, ‘steve? it’s me, you okay in there?’

the door swings open slowly, revealing steve hunched over the toilet gagging.

‘oh.. god,’ you enter, rubbing his back as he wretches over the bowl.

once he’s finished, he washes his mouth out with water, your hand still on his back.

‘i’m so sorry..’ you say quietly, rubbing a small circle with your thumb.

‘for what? that was great.. well before that,’ he smiles, still slightly intoxicated from the bonfire.

‘really?’

‘yeah,’ he nods, ‘you always look so cool.. smoking.. i wanted to try it,’ he towers over you in the small bathroom, the tips of his hair now damp as he’d splashed both you and his face with the cold water.

you smile up at him, ‘maybe we can smoke again some time, just take it easy.. and maybe don’t get drunk before,’ you laugh.

an unfamiliar feeling in your chest as his body is only inches from yours. only now just noticing how much his caramel eyes softened when looking at you.

there’s a moment of silence, you can feel his breath on your cheek as he gazes down at you, your eyes fall to his lips, before pulling them away.

‘you.. need to go to bed,’ you break the silence, moving away from him, opening the door to the bathroom.

‘uh.. yeah.. thank you for helping me out,’ he follows you back to his dorm.

‘no problem, hey.. if that asshole tries to say anything, i’ll punch him.. i’ve got plenty of stories about him getting too high.. plenty,’ you smile, walking back into his room.

eddie is lead back on the bed, still grinning at the situation, ‘christ, i thought you died or something, where were you?’

‘i was being a good friend, some of us are nice people, you know?’ you clamber onto eddies bed, laying back next to him.

steve smiles slightly at the name but it’s unseen as you’re too busy teasing eddie about the time he’d vomited everywhere at your prom.

you both ignore whatever the hell had happened in the bathroom. though, sleeping in their room tonight felt weird, the air heavy with tension between you and steve.

he wakes up at some point in the night to you two bickering, half-awake.

‘move you stupid slut, you’re hogging the blanket,’ eddie mumbles, tugging on the blanket.

‘i’m literally not,’ he finally pulls the blanket you’d collected from underneath you, ‘oh, sorry babes,’ you giggle as he curls up into the blanket.

you place your head on his chest, cuddling into his side as steve watches on. a twinge of jealousy in his chest watching eddie wrap his arm over you.

-

steve sighs unknowingly as eddie enters the room alone.

‘what’s wrong? expecting someone else?’ eddie smirks, dropping his bag onto the messy floor.

‘no.. just.. uhm,’ he can’t even find an excuse, he was expecting you to bundle in after eddie.

‘she’s in an exam, don’t worry she’ll be here straight after,’ he teases.

steve nods, another exasperated sigh falls from his mouth.

‘just get on with it, bro, i can’t deal with this moping and shit,’ eddie balances the joint between his lips, but then thinks better of it, deciding to wait for your arrival.

‘how.. what do i say? she’s not like other girls i’ve asked out.. it’s different,’ steve looks up at eddie. you were best friends, he had to know what would make you agree to go out with him.

‘hmm, well honestly i’d say offer to smoke with her but since you can’t do that.. i dunno, take her to a gig or something, there’s a bunch of her cds over there,’ he motions to his desk.

steve stands and starts flicking through the pile of cds, not a clue who any of the names were.

‘i don’t know any of these people..’ he sighs, falling back onto his bed, completely stuck on what to do.

‘oh my god,’ eddie rolls his eyes, steve had been sulking since your encounter in the bathroom, too scared to bite the bullet and ask you out. knowing you most definitely were not going to be impressed with a nice dinner and a makeout session in the backseat of his car.

‘just do something you think she’d enjoy because jesus h christ i am tired of hearing about it,’ eddie states, deciding to disregard waiting for you and lighting the spliff.

‘okay okay,’ he nods, standing from his bed, suddenly confident in his mission.

you practically storm through the door as steve barrels past you, mumbling a short ‘hi’ as he walks down the corridor. you spin around to watch him leave, furrowing your brows at eddie.

‘what the hell is wrong with him?’

he sighs, ‘you. you are what’s wrong with him, and i am so fucking tired of hearing about it.’

‘me? what the fuck have i done?’ you’d actually told eddie about the bathroom incident, but had strictly told him not to mention anything to steve, which he clearly had.

‘i don’t know, but you’ve made him crazy and it’s driving me fucking crazy,’ he offers the spliff out to you.

you take it, sitting on his feet as you take a drag.

‘i swear to god, if you’ve told him anything i said to you, i will stab you in your sleep,’ you glare at him.

‘i didn’t!’ he holds his hands up, ‘he wants to fuck, but he’s a good boy and has no idea how to ask.’

‘oh.. he just wants to fuck?’ you try not to let the disappointment show in your voice but it’s apparent and eddie is sure to notice.

‘no.. don’t fucking tell me you’re in love with him too,’ he bangs his head against the wall, groaning.

‘no! oh my god, just shut up about it,’ you pass the joint back to him, sitting back against the wall, attempting to hide your smile at his choice of words.

-

you’re searching for eddie’s familiar hair as you leave your class, getting frustrated as you’d explicitly told him to be there.

‘y/n!’ you hear a voice call out, eyes now scanning the crowd for whoever had called out.

that’s when steve bounds up to you, grinning as you’ve finally spotted him.

‘hello? where’s eddie?’ you question, confused at how he’d even know where to find you.

‘he was.. he told me to meet you, he had something..’ he mutters, now walking next to you.

‘oh? okay.. well hi,’ you smile slightly at him, clutching onto your large headphones.

‘hi..’ he breathes, fingers fumbling with his jacket.

it was the first time you two were properly speaking since eddie had not-so-accidentally admitted steve was aching to take you on a date.

‘are you okay?’ you ask. it was quite obvious that you made him even more timid than he normally was, his hands practically shaking as he racks up the nerve to finally ask you out.

‘yeah.. i- uh.. i lied, i told eddie i’d come to meet you.. i wanted to ask you something..’ he trails off, look over at you.

‘right.. and what was that?’ you stare straight ahead, trying to stifle your smile.

‘well.. would you- you don’t have to say yes at all.. do you wanna like.. go out sometime?’ he finally spits it out, fingers still playing with the buttons on his jacket.

you look over to him, ‘okay.. when?’

‘uhh.. friday?’ he shrugs, you can see the smile creep up onto his face, he’d honestly prepared for a hard no.

‘sure, it’s a date,’ you flash him a smile, only making him crumble further as he clings onto the straps of his bag.

‘o-okay, i’ll pick you up at eight.. and we’ll go.. out,’ he holds the door to his building open for you, your shoulder brushing against his chest which makes him shiver.

‘where are we going?’ you begin to walk up the stairs as he follows closely behind, still stuck on the extremely brief contact you’d just shared.

‘you’ll see..’ he speeds up to open the door to his room for you, smiling down at you.

he flashes eddie a thumbs up behind your back, sitting back on his bed as you join eddie on his. it had become a daily routine at this point, you were hardly ever in your own room.

‘he insisted he went to meet you, sorry darling,’ eddie says, shuffling to make room for you.

‘that’s okay, we had a great conversation, didn’t we?’ you look over at steve, who was already gazing over at you.

‘huh? oh, yeah.. definitely,’ he nods, looking at the clock on the wall and springing into action, ‘shit, i’m late.. i’ll see ya later,’ sprinting out of the room.

‘i’m going on a date,’ you smile over at eddie.

‘oh thank god, he might stop being such a whiny fucking baby,’ he responds, holding his hands up in a mock prayer.

you playfully punch him on the leg, laughing at his actions, ‘he’s sweet, leave him alone.’

‘hey man, as long as you’re happy i could not care less,’ he puts his leg over yours, leaning back against the wall.

you grin to yourself, imagining what steve could possibly have in store for friday.

-

you’re rushing around, trying to find your other shoe when there’s a short knock on the door.

‘shit,’ you whisper, hopping over to the door and swinging it open, revealing steve stood with a bunch of flowers.

‘hello.. give me five minutes, i can’t find my shoe..’ you widen the door to invite him in, before walking back into your room searching for your show.

he places the flowers on your dresser, watching you stumble around the room.

‘it’s here..’ he bends over, holding your shoe out to you.

‘oh my god, thank you,’ you grab the shoe, slipping it on. now finally looking at his outfit and how much effort he’d put into looking good for you, looking down at your own outfit which consisted of your usual jeans and a nicer top than normal.

‘ready?’ he smiles, offering his hand out for you. there was a new air of confidence to him, he wasn’t so bashful.

you take it as he leads you out of the room, ‘thank you, for the flowers.. i don’t think anyone’s ever bought me flowers before,’ you beam at him, slamming the door to your room.

‘really? never?’

‘never ever,’ you shake your head, following him out of the building.

‘wow, well.. i asked eddie what flowers you liked but he was.. unhelpful so i just guessed..’

you chuckle, ‘he’s useless.. but i love them, thank you.’

he smiles in response, opening the door to his bmw for you, sliding into the seat and admiring the interior. a welcome change to eddie’s dingy van.

he pulls off, ignoring all of your questions about where he was taking you, laughing at your garish guesses.

-

surprisingly, he’d decided to get tickets to a small punk band playing at one of the local bars.

there was only a slight issue when he got to the door and was subsequently id’d. he didn’t actually have a fake. unlike you (and eddie) who had had yours for years now.

this is steve that we’re talking about, the boy that has a bedtime of 11pm on the weekends and made sure the collars on his polo shirts were ironed.

‘i am so sorry, i didn’t even think.. i’m so stupid,’ he puts his head in his hands, now away from the queue to the bar.

in all honesty, the situation was hilarious and you couldn’t even attempt to hold in your laugh as steve looks over, genuinely almost crying.

‘it’s okay.. we can do something else, i just.. i can’t believe you don’t have a fake..’ you giggle, walking back over to him.

‘i’ve never needed one.. oh my god, it’s not funny,’ he pouts at you.

you take a deep breath out, trying to stop another laugh from coming out, ‘it’s pretty funny.. let’s go get something to eat.. it’s not the end of the world,’ you shrug, linking your arm through his.

‘are you sure? you can still go if you want.. i’ll just wait outside..’

‘well that wouldn’t be a good date, would it?’

he runs a hand through his perfectly styled hair, ‘no.. i’m just so stupid-,’

you cut him off, ‘steve, it doesn’t matter.. honestly if you keep talking about it, i’m never gonna stop laughing,’ you tug him down the sidewalk, trying to find somewhere to eat.

it’s only when you get back to campus, sat in his car after the whole fiasco, he starts to see the humour in the situation.

‘okay.. it’s kinda funny..’ he admits, leaning his head back against the head rest.

‘it’s so funny, and i’ve had a great time anyway,’ you smile over at him. he turns his head to look back at you, the corner of his mouth upturned in the slightest smile.

that funny feeling from the bathroom fizzles inside your stomach once again, you hoped he couldn’t see your heart pounding against your chest.

‘thank you.. steve,’ the sound of his name coming from your lips honestly could’ve made his knees buckle.

he inhales as his eyes lock onto your lips, daring himself to just move closer and do it.

before he can, you lean across the centre console, pausing just millimetres from his lips before pressing your lips onto his, placing your hand on his stubbly cheek.

his arm snakes around your waist, slightly unsure of himself on whether to pull you closer as your tongue runs along his bottom lip.

‘i’ve never.. been with an emo chick before..’ he breathes into the kiss.

you pull away, hands still on his cheeks as you stare at him, ‘..huh?’

‘oh.. no it’s great.. like the best.. i didn’t mean it in a bad way,’ he shuffles in his seat, leaning closer.

‘steve.. no, i’m not..’ you’re unable to even finish your sentence, bursting into laughter as clings onto you.

‘no.. i just thought like.. the music you like.. and you’re eyeliner.. is that not..? ah fuck,’ he closes his eyes, once again embarrassing himself in front of you.

‘no,’ you giggle, ‘i’m sorry to disappoint you,’ you sit back in your chair, still laughing at him.

‘i’ve ruined it, haven’t i? i’m useless,’ he breathes, now stone faced after he had just messed up the one thing he’d been longing for since eddie had moved in.

‘no, stop apologising all the time.. it’s funny! it’s okay to laugh at yourself sometimes,’ you assure him.

the date hadn’t really gone to plan, but who cares? the thought that he had put into the date alone was sweet enough.

he nods, ‘i know.. i spent so long trying to figure out where to take you.. like so long.. but it’s okay..’ he reassures himself, ‘maybe next time it won’t be such a disaster.’

‘next time?’ you tease, raising your eyebrows.

‘well.. if you wanted to.. go out again..’

‘i would love to,’ you place a hand on his knee, causing his breath to hitch in his throat. he didn’t know why he found you so intimidating, you were just worlds apart and he couldn’t believe you’d actually agreed to go out with him.

‘good, it’ll be better next time, that’s a promise,’ he grins sheepishly at you, ‘are you.. staying with us tonight?’

‘nah.. eddie had a show.. i doubt his bed is free tonight,’ you shrug.

you loved going along to his shows, granted the music wasn’t exactly to your taste, but nevertheless, you adored watching him play. though, it always meant you’d be going home alone because, believe it or not, women still loved a long haired rockstar.

‘you don’t have to stay in his bed..’ steve suggests, not wanting to outright offer up his.

‘and have to listen to that? i’m good,’ you giggle, a flash of disappointment hits his face.

‘you could always stay with me? saves you from being traumatised too,’ you offer, watching as the look on his transforms into a smile.

‘okay..’ he nods, failing miserably to conceal his grin.

you step out of the car, ‘my roommate is a bit of a weirdo, but then so is yours,’ joking as he follows you out of the car and toward the building.

‘i don’t have like.. pyjamas or anything,’ he worries.

‘do you usually wear pyjamas?’ you question, looking back at him, puzzled.

‘sometimes.. yeah,’ he looks bashful.

‘well, you don’t need pyjamas.. i might have a pair of eddie’s joggers if you want? or just sleep in your boxers?’

‘oh.. yeah, i didn’t think..’ he follows you into your room. your roommate looks up from her books, a frown on her face at the sight of steve. he flashes her a small, half-hearted wave, honestly pretty intimidated by her glare.

‘it’s one night, you’ll live,’ you return the stare, motioning to your bed. steve follows, sitting down on your unmade bed.

he eventually gets comfortable enough to speak, still on edge over her past looks.

you spend the whole night explaining the ludicrous stories behind your tattoos, after he points to the leaf-like scribble on your arm asking what it even was.

when he turned sixteen, eddie had a sudden realisation that his calling in life was to be a tattoo artist, so he made his own makeshift tattoo gun with pen ink and a needle he found in your moms kitchen drawer and decided to practice on you.

‘well, it was supposed to be like a weed leaf, but eddie is terrible at drawing.. so now it’s like..’ you hold your arm out, looking at it, ‘i don’t even know.’

he just laughs, in awe at how carefree you were. his mom would’ve probably disowned him if he’d turned up with any tattoos, let alone one given to him with a chewed up bic.

‘and that one?’ he points to the scruffy em on your wrist.

‘again, it’s supposed to be eddie’s initials.. he has mine on his wrist, much better than this one.. because i did it obviously,’ you smirk, ‘do you have any?’

‘no,’ he shakes his head.

‘well, we can get one.. a proper one,’ you reassure.

‘my mom would kill me..’

‘you’re nearly twenty years old, steve.. i think she’ll be okay,’ you smile up at him.

‘yeah.. okay, we’ll get one,’ he returns to smile, daring to wrap his arm around your back. in turn you place your head on his chest and much to your roommates approval, you both finally fall asleep in that exact position.

[innytoes]

your dark fantasy/fae au is so fucking cool and I’m going to be thinking about it forever now. I just wanted you to know. that’s all, have a wonderful day <33

Hard same, anon! Have some more headcanons.

-Willie has 100% crashed while skateboarding, walked home with an obviously broken arm, and gone about his day because he still had chores and you have to work through the pain that's just what you do, right?

-NO, and Ray spends a very panicked ride to the ER.

-At least Willie is delighted with his cast and the human tradition of your friends writing and drawing on it. Julie draws a little butterfly for him and he's just delighted.

-The boys all sleep in one room in a giant puppy pile. Ray offered them separate beds but they all looked so betrayed he just... made sure they had enough blankets and pillows instead.

-After the bird funeral, Willie is concerned because Ray's garden is not that big and there are a lot of people in this house and apparently death comes for everyone and he is relieved to learn humans have special gardens for human dead people called cemeteries.

The next time they drive past one on their way to Carlos' baseball game, Willie presses his nose to the car window and informs everyone: "There's dead people in there."

It is quiet in the car (Carlos makes sure to note they can put the 'x days since Willie said something weird' back to 0) before Julie is like: you're not wrong?

-Luke is trying desperately to figure out if in The Modern Era he still needs to ask Ray's permission to Court Julie. After doing a lot of research watching the telly-vision, he concludes he does not, he needs to get Flynn's approval because she is The Bestie.

-Flynn is like: to court Julie you must first complete these quests.

-Reggie would put a stop to it but honestly it's keeping Luke out of trouble when he has to write a song, and fetch Flynn seven sodas, and come catch and release the spider in her room (he brings Willie who politely asks the spider to stay on the other side of her window) and perform Feats Of Strength (help Flynn rearrange her furniture).

-Julie finds out and puts a stop to it of course but to be fair she really likes the song and was very flustered at sweaty Luke in his cut-off t-shirt so... she can't be too mad at Flynn.

(More mature and ridiculous headcanons behind the cut.)

-When the equinox approaches, Willie gets a little distressed. Because Ray hasn't done any preparations. Where are the wines and grapes and cured meats? The honey cakes? The pixie pears? Ray who have you invited? What about the music? What about the revelries, Ray? Are you going to get the couches deep cleaned after the orgies or do you have special soft blankets to cover them?

-Ray goes from mildly confused to very distressed, especially when Willie is like: is that not why you have so many couches???

-What follows is a very distressing day for Ray as he tries to figure out if the boys have sexual abuse trauma on top of the whole 'kidnapped by magical beings' and 'hunted for sport' and 'enslaved to perform for the fairy's amusement' trauma.

-They do not, but just to be sure he has a talk with them about consent and safe sex.

-Willie staring at Ray like: "What do you mean protection? Do humans attack each other during sex? Alex, you never told me this." Luke is trying to calm Ray down like: it's okay Alex and Willie can't get pregnant they don't need to pull out unless they want to. Reggie is coming to the frightening realisation that he is the normal one and has to be the mature one. He is also very, very sorry, Ray. There were just... so many orgies. Or maybe just a few long, long orgies. Time was weird. You get kind of desensitised to it all.

-Willie understanding that Consent is like the magic spell that makes sex okay and starts just asking Alex: Consent? And Alex goes 'okay!' and they happily skip off together.

(Julie: I am traumatised. Reggie: Yeah well blame your dad.)

-Not Reggie quietly pining as he sees Julie and Luke get closer and Willie and Alex carefree and in love and he's just over here... trying not to think of exactly what happened at those orgies and how suddenly he's the one left behind and alone.

[confusedgoldenflower]

Long Time Coming: Cherry Should Be Dead

First off, please put down the pitchforks, I love him dearly and know it’s an ✨anime✨ but for an anime set in a *more realistic* way, there’s no comprehensible reason he could have survived @d*m’s “Full Swing Kiss.” (That piece of shit should also understand how simple cause and effect works regarding injury, but I digress. He gives me indigestion and a migraine.)

How he was hit:

60mph—I’m generously assuming given Reki stating they can go that fast “at least down to the mountain,” and these two were out for speed.

~60mph spun around and hit, full rotation, with the broad side of a horned skateboard. He’s hit so hard that Carla goes flying off to who fucking knows where (I’m impressed she was alright tbh). Any rational person would assume he’s hitting the track hard.

My, non-medical-professional, opinion:

Broken clavicle (most commonly broken and stupid-easy to break)

Wicked case of whiplash

Broken nose

Broken jaw

Skull fracture(s)

Concussion-zzzzz

Bruised bones

Bruised organs (liver, spleen, kidneys, lungs, probably heart and others)

Possible ruptured bowel (intestines)

Other broken bones

Some sort of TBI (besides concussion)

Shock

Dislocations

Spinal cord injury

Internal lacerations/probable internal decapitation (all that force went right into his head and neck)

Maybe broken pelvis

PTS-fucking-D

Whilst being a cute MatchaBlossom moment, Joe should NOT. HAVE. TOUCHED him. It doesn’t take much to fuck up especially the neck injuries by moving the patient. Huge no-no! The paramedics should have come, assessed him, stuck him with a neck brace and hauled him to the OR… but that woulda made a bigger conflict with the plot 🙄

Kaoru having gotten away with an apparent broken (dominant) arm (his occupation/special interests/passions!!!😭😭😭) and opposite leg with undisclosed but seemingly *uncritical* head injury is… laughably little. And not in a “haha funny” way.

“Using mathematical formulas and physics experiments, researchers learned that 43 mph is the fastest speed at which you have a fighting chance to survive a head-on collision.”

I respect wanting to keep characters in and functional, however… this event, in my mind, really should have been revisited and revised.

TLDR: this man has been turned into a medical mess and I’m livid. The man’s ghost-writing now.

[welcometojackass2022]

Perfect Shot (Sub!Bam Margera x GN!Reader) [Smut]

This was an anonymous request made a while back, and I thought it was a really cool idea! This is my first Bam fic in a while, sorry about that.

Description: It’s the middle of filming for Jackass: The Movie, and Bam’s in a bad mood. As the main camera operator (and one of Bam’s good friends), you feel that it’s your responsibility to help Bam relax, so you offer him a blowjob. Long story short, this ends with you not only blowing him, but also filming the entire thing while he whines and begs and his legs get shaky.

Warnings: Cursing, Smut, Blowjob, Sub Bam and Dom Reader, Bam being whiny and pathetic and begging while you blow him, You filming yourself sucking Bam off, Bam’s a dick at first and you suck him off to calm him down

@asskickedbygirl tagging you as always.

If there was one thing that you’d learned in your time as a camera operator for Jackass, it was that there was always at least one member of the cast who was in a bad mood on set at any given time. Preston would be pissed off because the guys did something fucked up to him during a stunt, or Ehren would be upset cuz he got picked on by the guys like always, or Johnny would be slightly less friendly than usual because he hadn’t had any coffee yet, or Jeff would be grumpy because one of the stunt ideas hadn’t worked out like it was supposed to. No matter what day it was or where the crew was filming, there was always someone who wasn’t happy about something, and on this particular day, that someone was Bam Margera.

You were setting up your camera in one of the rooms of the main production building to get ready for a scene you’d be filming later of Jeff and Johnny talking about a stunt that had ended up failing; right as you leaned down to look through the lens of the camera to adjust it, you heard the door to the room open, and you glanced back to see Bam walking in with a grumpy look on his face as he slammed the door shut behind him. “Hey, Margera.” He didn’t respond, wordlessly plopping down in one of the chairs you’d set up in front of your camera for Johnny and Jeff to sit in later on, his arms crossed as he slumped down and stared at the floor. You adjusted the lens of your camera, using Bam’s irritated figure as the center of the shot to make sure you had the right angle for later. “What’s the matter? Did Johnny and the others throw you into a snake pit again?” Bam shot you a look, and you laughed. “Sorry, I’m not trying to make fun of you. Seriously, Bam, what’s up with you?” He sighed, slumping even farther down in the chair and leaning his head back in frustration. “Knoxville and Tremaine are fucking dickheads, that’s what’s up with me.”

You raised your eyebrows, trying to hide the smirk that was threatening to play at your lips. “Do tell.” You looked through the lens once more to check the angle and then walked over to sit in the chair next to Bam, tilting your head to the side as you waited for him to inevitably start ranting about whatever Johnny and Jeff had supposedly done wrong. “I had this awesome fucking idea for a stunt and neither of them wanna do it. They said it doesn’t actually count as a stunt and can’t be shown in theaters or on television.” Your eyes widened. “Damn, really? I can’t remember the last time I saw either of them reject a stunt, what was your idea?” Bam glared at the floor. “I wanted to fuck Jenn on a skateboard going down a big-ass ramp.” You stared at him in silence, trying to discern if he was being serious or not; the look on his face made you realize he was being totally genuine, and you burst out laughing, much to his chagrin. “Don’t fucking laugh, it’s a good idea.” You pressed your mouth to your hand, trying to stifle your laughter as you brushed a stray tear from your eye. “Don’t laugh? Bam, I’m sorry, but that is the single funniest thing anyone has ever said to me in my life. First of all, I don’t even know if it’s possible to fuck on a skateboard, let alone one that’s going down a ramp. And second of all, I thought you and Jenn broke up last week.”

Bam shrugged, sitting up a little bit in his seat. “We did. But we’ve broken up like ten times this month anyway, so I wouldn’t be shocked if we got together again soon. And that’s the point! How will we know if it’s possible to fuck someone on a skateboard if we don’t try it? It’s like being a scientist, you have to do experiments and shit.” You smirked. “Yeah, Bam, sounds very scientific to me.” He rolled his eyes at your sarcasm. “You’re supposed to be on my side, asshole, stop being a smart-ass.” You smiled apologetically, patting him on the shoulder. “Aw, I’m sorry, Bam, I’m really not trying to make fun of you here. It sounds like a really cool stunt idea. But I can see why Johnny and Jeff would say no. It would be kind of hard to show you and Jenn fucking on a skateboard and going down a ramp in a way that could actually be shown on TV.” Bam frowned. “Censor bars exist for a reason.” You laughed softly; it was still pretty funny, but he was clearly very upset, to the point where you had the feeling that it wasn’t just the rejection of his stunt idea that was bothering him. “Is that all that you’re upset about or is there something else?” You stopped smiling to show that you were genuinely asking, and Bam sighed, stressfully rubbing his hand over his forehead.

“No, I guess it’s not the only thing. None of my fucking skate tricks landed this morning, some chick at a bar called me pudgy yesterday, and this whole thing with Jenn is stressing me out.” You sucked your teeth sympathetically. “That’s a lot of things.” Bam nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose and leaning his head back again. “Yeah.” The two of you sat in silence for a moment, his eyes closed like he was trying to calm himself down, and you took the opportunity to look him over. He was stressfully tapping one of his feet on the floor, his jaw was tense, and he still had that grumpy look on his face. No wonder he was being so pissy; he was clearly overwhelmed with stress. If it were any of the other guys, you wouldn’t have cared that much; they were great and all, but you weren’t necessarily close with them, and seeing them be in bad moods was pretty common (aside from Pontius, who was almost always happy). Bam, on the other hand, had been close friends with you since before the first CKY video was released, and although he could be a total brat at times, he was usually still in a pretty good mood, so seeing him be so stressed out was genuinely concerning to you. You tried to think of a way to help him calm down; let him rant? No, he’d kinda already done that. Giving him a hug? No, Bam would throw a punch if you tried. Sucking his dick to help him relax? Well, it wasn’t a horrible idea.

“You want a blowjob?” Bam’s eyes snapped open, his hand moving away from his face as he stared at you. “Huh?” He was clearly expecting you to backtrack on your question, but you just doubled down and asked again. “Do you want me to give you a blowjob? Like, to calm you down. You just seem really stressed out and I figured maybe a blowjob could help you cool off a bit so you don’t end up choking out Knoxville or Tremaine.” Bam stared at you again, trying to decide if you were being serious or not, and once he realized that you were, he sat up straight in his chair, glancing over at the door that was slightly ajar. “Wait, for real? Are you actually offering or are you gonna laugh at me if I say yes?” You laughed, standing up to close the door to the room. “I mean, if I’m joking then it’s not a very funny joke. Asking if you want anal would be funnier. So no, Bam, I’m not going to laugh if you say yes. I am, however, going to lock this door. So is that a yes?” Bam thought it over for a moment, looking significantly less annoyed than he had just a few moments prior, and then he nodded. “Yeah, sure. Probably won’t fix anything, but it’s worth a shot.” You nodded back, locking the door and walking back over to kneel at his feet in front of the chair, resting one hand on his knee as you moved the other to his fly to unzip it. “Wait.” Bam grabbed your hand to stop you. You glanced up at him; he suddenly looked nervous, and you pulled your hand away.

“What’s wrong? You don’t want one? It’s fine if you don’t but you should probably tell me now.” Bam shook his head, still looking slightly nervous. “No, I do want one, I just…never mind. Just do it, forget I said anything.” You stared up at him with concern. “Are you sure? I’m not gonna do this if you don’t want me to.” He nodded, his face going red as your fingers brushed over the zipper of his pants again, and you proceeded to pull the zipper down, pulling the fly apart so you could reached your hand into his exposed boxers to pull his cock out. It was already half-hard, the tip slightly red as you teasingly ran your thumb over his slit; he let out a soft gasp under his breath, gripping at the armrests of his chair as he watched you take his cock into your hand. It wasn’t very big, but you already knew that anyway; Bam’s dick size was a pretty big source of jokes within the friend group. If anything, it was at least nice to look at. You didn’t wanna waste any time, so you leaned down and licked a stripe up the shaft, reveling in the slightly salty taste. Bam’s hips jerked up slightly, but he kept his lips shut to hide the noises he was making as you wrapped your lips around the tip. You suckled on the head, lapping up his precum from the slit, and he gripped the armrests of the chair so hard his knuckles turned white, biting down on his bottom lip like he was trying to stop himself from being too loud. You glanced up at him in amusement as you suckled even harder.

You pulled Bam’s hands away from the armrests (his grip was so tight you had to practically peel his fingers off of them) and guided them to the top of your head, letting him tangle his fingers in your hair to give him something else to focus his grip on. He immediately tugged on your hair, his grip tightening when you slid your mouth all the way down his shaft. You sucked on his shaft with as much force as you could, eliciting a loud whine from Bam’s lips, and he immediately pulled one of his hands away from your hair to cover his mouth with a look of red-faced embarrassment. You raised your eyebrows, pulling your mouth off of his cock to grin at him. “Everything okay, Bam? I’ve never heard that sound come out of your mouth before.” He glared at you, pulling the hand away from his mouth to push down on the back of your head in an attempt to get your lips back around his cock. “Shut up.” You smirked, staring up at him to gauge his reaction as you ran your tongue over the underside of his cock at an agonizingly slow pace that made his whole body shiver, his grip on your hair getting tight again as another uncharacteristically whiny moan fell from his lips. You dragged your tongue over it again, and his legs started to shake, his hands yanking at your hair desperately to try and pull your mouth back down on his shaft. You pulled away again, raising an eyebrow at him. “Damn, Margera, I never would have guessed you were so sensitive.”

Bam started to complain again, but you shushed him, covering his mouth with one hand as you used the other to rub the leaking red tip of his cock with the pad of your thumb. “Don’t start with me, Bam, I’m not making fun of you. I like it when guys get all sensitive and whiny when I’m blowing them, it’s sexy. I’d love to have a video of you being all pathetic and desperate and whiny for me, seeing all the cute little facial expressions you make when I’m sucking you off would be so hot. Actually…” You glanced back at the camera that was still set up, an idea coming to your mind as you released Bam’s cock from your grip and stood up. Bam stared up at you in confusion. “What are you doing?” You laughed, walking over to your camera and adjusting it to center on Bam again. “Can I film this?” He blinked in confusion. “You wanna film yourself sucking my dick?” You nodded with a grin. “Yes. It’s kinda hard to see all the faces and sounds you’re making when I’m trying to focus on sucking you off, but if I film it, I won’t miss anything.” Bam absentmindedly took his hard, leaking cock into his hand, stroking it at a steady pace as he thought it over. “Yeah, alright. Just don’t show it to anyone. Now can you come back over here and finish the job, please? I need to cum so fucking bad that it hurts.” You smiled, pressing the camera’s record button and making your way back over to him. “Wow, look at you begging me. I like that, you should keep doing it.”

You laughed at the unamused look on Bam’s face and took his leaking cock into your hand again, wrapping your fingers around the base and taking the entire shaft into your mouth as you swirled your tongue over the drooling slit and slick red tip, slurping up his precum as you coated his shaft in saliva. Bam let out a choked noise, his hips jerking wildly as he fisted his hands into your hair again, and you pulled your mouth back off of his cock with a slick pop, jerking his shaft in your hand as you glanced up at him to admire the flustered look on his face. A loud whine left his mouth, his eyes half-lidded as he bucked his hips up to try and push his tip back into your mouth. “I liked seeing your legs get all shaky earlier, Bam. Here, get up from that chair and stand so I can feel your legs shake while I’m sucking you off.” Bam looked slightly shocked at the request, but he did as he was told, standing up and pushing his chair back so he was still within the frame of the camera as you took his cock back into your mouth. Now that he was standing, he had to lean over you with his hands on the back of your head for support, his legs already starting to shake as you suckled intensively on the tip of his cock. You felt his cock twitch inside your mouth, a needy whine leaving his lips as the salty taste of his precum became more noticeable inside your mouth. “Fuck, I’m so close, don’t stop.” His voice cracked pathetically as the tip of your tongue ran over his dripping slit.

You let him push your head all the way down so the tip of his cock was pressed against the back of your throat, sucking in your cheeks to make your mouth feel as tight around his shaft as it possibly could, his balls slapping against your chin as he hurriedly thrust his hips foreword in a desperate attempt to bring his orgasm on faster. A loud, whiny, pathetic moan fell from his lips, throwing his head back as he finally shot his load down your throat. You sucked the cum straight from his slit with an intensity that made Bam’s knees buckle, and he had to grab at your hair again to keep his balance. He bucked his hips forward as he rode out his orgasm, the energy of his thrusts gradually decreasing as he finished, and by the time he finally pulled his cock out of your mouth, he looked exhausted—but relaxed, nonetheless. His previously pissed off look had been replaced with one of slight satisfaction, a cute little smile on his face as he pushed his cock back into his jeans, zipped up his pants, helped you up from the floor and sat back down in his chair. You leaned down to push his bangs back from his slightly sweaty forehead, grinning at the pleased look on his face. “Feeling better?” Bam nodded. “Much better. Still kind of mad at Tremaine and Knoxville, but I don’t wanna choke them out anymore.” You laughed. “Good. Glad I could help. Anytime you need some stress relief, you know where to find me.” You walked over to the camera to stop the recording, clicking on the video to view it, and then you frowned. “Ah fuck, the shot was unfocused for the entire video….how about a quick reshoot?” Bam grinned excitedly.

[suspiciouslackofclowns]

Some silly Eddie headcanons while I’m fighting sleep:

He paints his nails dark colors, normally black, and even sometimes deep blues or reds. His toenails are also always painted, but no one knows that because he never really takes his shoes/socks off around anyone other than his partner(s). He always paints them bright pink because that’s secretly one of his favorite colors. No one knows that about him either.

Ever since he was younger, he and Wayne have had this tradition of swinging by the nearest restaurant, usually Benny’s Burgers, to get a milkshake after Eddie got out of school. This continued all the way up until Eddie started driving himself, even if his grades weren’t always the best.

He’s allergic to cats, but he never tells anyone because “allergies aren’t very metal” and suffers in silence apart from the sneezing and sniffling when he visits Dustin’s house because Tews is too cute not to pet.

Eddie has a massive fear of bugs. He hears a cricket chirping in the trailer? He’s sleeping in the van tonight. There’s a spider in the corner of his bedroom? Sleeping in the van tonight. Cockroach ran across the carpet? Fuck it, he’s moving out.

Footloose is one of his comfort movies and he’ll absolutely die if anyone finds out (they find out, and he unfortunately lives).

Fantasy is his special interest, hence his hyperfixations on D&D and LOTR, and he nerds out about it constantly. He’s the type of ADHD-haver to be virtually unable to focus on anything unless it meets the bare minimum requirement of one of his interests, which is why he has so much trouble in school — he loves to read fiction, loves to write and do math and learn new things, but only if it pertains to something like playing D&D, for example. But learning about western expansion and manifest destiny? Hard pass.

Confident bisexual. The only times he’s ever been kissed or has fooled around has been at concerts that he’s attended, where it’s normal to interact with strangers in such ways and not have to follow up with or see them ever again. This means that he’s a great kisser, but he has really no idea what he’s doing beyond that.

He sews his patches onto his vest with dental floss.

Very touchy guy. Gets in peoples’ faces a lot and comes up with excuses constantly to engage in physical intimacy.

Though he’s pretty close with his band members, he’s closer to Dustin than he is to any of them.

When he gets with his partner(s), he prefers to be the big spoon when cuddling. He’s always the one who insists on holding doors open and pulling chairs out at restaurants, with a bow and everything because he’s a romantic dork.

Has never owned or even worn a suit in his entire life. The first one he rents is to wear to Chrissy’s funeral.

He hates cheese and won’t eat it by itself. This causes arguments when he goes to the Harrington house to hang out because Steve loves cheese.

After hanging out with Robin and Steve for so long, he starts to substitute words like ‘groovy’ or ‘neat’ for his usual ‘metal’. This pisses him off to no end because those are literally the least metal words ever.

His favorite animals are alligators.

Billy is the only person in the group who understands his metal references and notices the new patches when they appear on his vest. He even gifts Eddie a Ratt pin at some point to add to it.

He’s the only person other than Lucas, on very special occasions, that is allowed to so much as touch Max’s skateboard.

He doesn’t talk in his sleep, per se, but he does yell and jerk randomly and it scares the living shit out of Steve the first few times they crash on the couch together while getting high.

No one but him is allowed to handle his guitar, and he always makes jokes about how he wants it buried with him when he dies because they’re soulmates.

After he survives the Vecna bullshit, he gets a tattoo of a demobat. Everyone hates it.

His nickname for Wayne is “pops”.