#gods. I’m so tired. Maybe I fail some small things. But have you seen the big things. The big things that I continuously decide to shoulder

[nullians]

.

[ponderingmoonlight]

JJK men with a small-chested reader

Pairings: Toji x reader; Gojo x reader; Choso x reader; Nanami x reader; Sukuna x reader; Geto x reader

Word Count: 4,5k

Warnings: this is LONG so get seated; reader gets confronted with hate regarding small boobs so if that's not for you don't read, also this implies JJK men are into small boobs so if that triggers you don't read, smut mentioned in Toji's & Nanami's part, abusive ex relationship in Nanami's part, Gojo is a dick in Geto's part and in general I feel like this one isn't that great so sorry for all my Geto lovers out there I'm tired

Click here for the big-chested version

Toji Fushiguro

You can’t help but let yourself fall into his rough touch, enjoy the sensation of his body pressed against yours. How you ended up here? You couldn’t care less. Is it pretty bad to be minutes away from getting laid by your enemy? Maybe, but you don’t give a damn.

Until his hand yanks towards your breasts.

“N-No. Stop”, you whimper, pushing against his broad shoulders to get him off you.

“C’mon, what’s wrong babe? Don’t ya enjoy yourself?”, he purrs against your ear.

Oh god, just the sound of his deep voice lets your mind wander to places where it hasn’t been for ages, makes you arche your body towards him like a needy teenager.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

But just when he’s about to stretch his hand towards your chest again, you lift yourself off the couch so suddenly that you almost fall over. No, you just can’t do this.

Automatically, you cross your arms in front of your chest, eyes gazing down at the nothingness you hold. Since you can remember, you’ve got picked on for having small boobs. Oh, how desperately you waited throughout whole puberty for them to finally grow, how much you secretly begged for those delicious female curves you’ve seen all over media and anime. But every time you look into the mirror, you are greeted by basically nothing. If a man like Toji would see you like this. God, if he only touches your breast and realizes that your décolleté comes from nothing but a push up bra…

It’s impossible for a man like him to find a woman like you attractive. Why were you even stupid enough to consider a one-night stand with him, when looks are the only thing that really counts? If he sees you’ve been lying into his face, that you don’t look like those girls on magazines…

Would he make fun of you? The disappointed look on his face as soon as he unclips your bra would be too much to handle alone.

“I can’t do this. Sorry”, you mumble, fingers frantically straighten your clothes.

Just forget about what happened today. Get home, take off your bra and stare at the ceiling. You don’t need a man to satisfy your needs anyway…right?

He grabs you by your waist so suddenly that you aren’t even able to react when his other hand unclips your bra and pulls up your shirt.

You fail to breathe, glossy eyes staring into his unbothered face in sheer disbelief. Did that man just expose your whole chest within the blink of a second?

“Why are you actin’ all shy, huh? Those are some nice tits”, he speaks out with a sly grin.

“I…”

You are lost at words, lost at thoughts, lost at sight. This man is walking sex himself. Damn, he could probably pull any girl on this planet. But no, he decided to get into your apartment and he just said that…Your breasts look good?

“Fuck, I’ve been waiting all day for that”, he signs.

His usual so rough fingers cup your breasts gently, swallow them whole with ease. Toji’s eyes are completely fixated on the sensation between his fingertips, how your warm flesh feels against his palms.

“I thought you…you aren’t into…small boobs”, you moan, closing your embarrassed eyes to shield yourself from his intense stare.

“I’m a man of culture”, he comments.

Oh, you can tell he’s grinning like he always does. Slowly but surely everything seems to fade away. All the dumb comments about your body, all the times you looked into the mirror and blankly stared at your flat chest. No, everything that counts now is that the force of a man standing in front of you clearly enjoys your sight, that your boobs alone are enough bring a grown man onto his knees, to make him whimper against your heated skin and the bulge in his pants grow with every second.

“Fuck, I need ya”, he hisses.

Toji pully your top over your head before you’re even able to think straight. There he stands, his hand unzipping his pants in slow motion while you gaze up at him panting like a dog.

“I’ll show you how much I’m into you, babe…”

Gojo Satoru

You look yourself up and down in the mirror, mind raising. It’s your third date with none other than the Satoru Gojo. The men who turns women’s heads on a regular basis, the men who invited you into the most exquisite restaurant of the city, the man who even sent you a dress for the occasion. A jaw-dropping gorgeous black dress with a delicate waterfall neckline, just the right fit for a man like him.

But not with your flat chest. The fabric seems to hang on your body like a potato sack, filled by nothing but thin air. And because of the cursed deep back, you aren’t even able to wear a push up bra underneath. Fuck, what are you supposed to do? The more you stare at yourself in the mirror, the worse it seems to fit. Satoru chose this dress only for you. There’s absolutely no way in hell you’ll wear something else, that you disappoint him like that. But do you have another option?

You let yourself fall onto your bed, eyes darting to your phone. Shit, you have only 10 more minutes left before he gets her. How are you supposed to fix this? Will Satoru be disappointed? You never wore tight or unflattering clothes around him before, always hid your smaller chest well behind casual sweatshirts or push up bras. But this…You aren’t able to hide anything in this.

Will be there in 5. Can’t wait to see you in that dress <3

Oh god, you feel like throwing up when reading his message. Everything went so well between the both of you, so unproblematic and genuinely fine. But are you even good enough for Satoru Gojo when he’s surrounded by so many beautiful women? Your hands wander up your stomach, come to a stand on your chest. No, you definitely can’t keep up with Mei Mei and the others. Will he lose interest in you after tonight? Will his facial expression drop the second he lays eyes on you in that dress?

Your palms get sweaty, mind overwhelmed by all those venomous thoughts.

“Fuck, don’t cry”, you hiss to yourself, angrily blinking into the mirror.

The doorbell rings.

Your heart drops.

Shit.

Didn’t he say 10 minutes?

Your feet carry you to your front door automatically, the tall frame of none other than Satoru clearly visible outside. No, why is he here? You didn’t have enough time to think about a solution, didn’t even try on that sticky bra you’ve bought a few months ago-

He rings again. There is no way of out this now. Like in slow motion, your shaky hand presses down the door handle, exposes yourself further and further to Satoru.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, (y/n)”, Satoru comments jokingly.

Hot tears slowly but surely start to take your sight while you stand there like an idiot, covering your chest with your arms. This will be the moment Satoru realizes you aren’t playing in his league, that he can do so much better. What was he thinking anyway, starting to date a girl like you?

“You look absolutely hot in that dress. Oh my god…”, he breathes out.

“Don’t lie to me”, you mumble.

No, you can’t take it. With a swift motion you turn yourself away from his gaze, away from his presence.

“What? I would never lie to you! Hey, are you cryin’? (y/n), look at me.”

Gently, he cups your face with both of his hands, forces you to get lost in the blue ocean of his eyes.

“I’m not doing justice to the dress you’ve gifted me”, you breathe out.

Satoru has to blink a few times, mind trying to process what the hell you are talking about. The minute you opened the door earlier, he was lost. You looked exactly how he imagined, so well-fitted into that black dress, your curves so delicious that it takes all his strength to keep his composure.

“You’re the hottest girl I’ve ever seen and I’m serious about that. Why would you think something so ridiculous? Look at your-“

“I’m flat”, you finally snap.

“Flat?”, he repeats in disbelief.

“Flat like a pancake. Flat like a board. I…I have nothing!”, you blurt out.

Satoru can’t believe his ears, has to stare at you in sheer disbelief for a moment. Is this why you’re crying, why you’re crossing your arms in front of your chest like that? Because you think that…your breasts are too small?

“C’mon, you can’t be serious about that.”

He desperately waits for a reaction, for a cute little giggle coming out of your mouth and this being nothing but a prank. But instead, you just stand there in silence and hide yourself even more.

“Okay, let me get that straight: You.Look.Gorgeous. I can’t stop fucking looking at you, that dress fits you so well and when I saw that neckline for the first time…I’m only saying this before you force me to, okay? I’m thirsting over you like a teenager, (y/n)! And I adore every inch of your body, I adore the way your tits look.”

“Stop”, you mumble, his words making shivers run down your spine.

“I won’t stop until you say it.”

“Say what?”, you question, confusion written on your face.

“Repeat after me: I have nice tits.”

Is he serious? You drop your arms to the side, completely bamboozled by the Satoru Gojo in front of you.

“Let’s do it, (y/n)!”

“I have…nice tits”, you breathe out.

“I can’t hear you”, he shouts.

Gently, he grabs your shoulders and shakes you a little. What the hell is going on right now? His smile seems contagious, makes the corners of your mouth turn upwards just the slightest bit.

“I have small tits”, you giggle out.

“NO!”, he screams.

“I have nice tits!”

“I have nice tits”, you shout back.

“Yes, now…Can I touch them?”

“Let’s get going, okay?”, you mutter, head red like a tomato.

Choso Kamo

“What are you doing, (y/n)?”

A high shriek escapes your lips when you look at Choso standing in the door. Fuck, what the hell is this guy doing here while you tried on that bikini you’ve bought earlier?

“Oh, that looks good”, he comments and nods towards your chest.

God, you feel like fainting. Out of all people, why does it have to be Choso standing there? And why do you feel so damn insecure all of the sudden? It’s not a secret to anyone at Jujutsu High that you have a huge crush on Yuji’s bigger brother, that you can’t take your eyes off him. And while you feel pretty comfortable in your own skin, there is this one thing that makes you trip over and over again…

Your breasts.

You didn’t even notice until your female friends began to comment on the size of your boobs when you changed for sport lessons.

“You look like a child, (y/n)!”

“Omg, are you sure that’s normal?”

“You’re a board with nipples…”

“I’m so sorry for you, (y/n)! After all, all boys are into big tits these days! Well, at least you have a good character.”

And still, you didn’t even care that much. But now, with Choso Kamo standing in front of you while you wear nothing but a bikini top instead of your oversized uniform, you feel trapped.

“Well, thanks I guess”, you mumble, cheeks heating up in an instant.

He steps a little closer, eyes narrowed. Oh god, when is this finally over?

“Why are you looking so uncomfortable?”

“Well, maybe because I’m half naked-“

“I can tell it’s not because of that. Are you insecure?”

Fuck, this man reads you like an open book without mercy. For an incarnated curse, he’s way too emphatic.

“I wouldn’t say it like that but…I mean, look at me.”

“Is it because your breasts are smaller than those of the other female members of Jujutsu High? This doesn’t seem like an issue to me at all, (y/n). After all, breasts are mostly made of adipose tissue. Depending on your fat storage and how your body-“

“Oh god, please stop right now”, you interrupt him.

May the ground swallow you whole and keep you. How on earth did you get into a serious talk about your small chest with none other than Choso Kamo? And why does he know all those things about how women’s breast work?

“You seem to know quite a lot about women’s boobs. Did you study them or something?”

Why does your heart suddenly feel so heavy? It shouldn’t bother you that he talked about those things as if he looks at other women’s tits on a regular basis. But…You fell for him because he seemed like a guy who doesn’t care about those things. Were you mistaken about him?

“Not at all! But I overheard you talking to that other woman about the size of your breast and that you don’t feel comfortable about them, so I did research about this topic.”

Oh. Your heart stops beating for a second, your mind going blank. He did research because he overheard your conversation with Shoko?

“You did that…for me?”

“You’re important to me and I don’t want you to feel sad about something minor like this, (y/n).”

You stare at him like an idiot, still only covered only by a bikini top while all he does his holding your gaze in silence.

“What I want to say is that…You are absolutely beautiful. And so are your breasts-”

“Okay, this is getting a little out of hand. Would you mind if I…Change into something a little more modest?”, you interrupt him before you lose your composure completely.

“Of course!”

Choso doesn’t move. Instead, he just stands there like before and looks at you.

“Would you…Get out so I can change?”

“Oh…Yes, of course.”

Nanami Kento

You can’t help but stare at him through the dim moonlight, hands wrapped around his neck. Oh, he sure feels good pressed against your body so tenderly, his breath caressing your cheek ever so slightly. Kento and you have been together for a few months now, taking things slow since your last relationship was like a trip to hell and back. And even though you are fully aware of the fact that Kento would never treat you badly, you still need time for certain things.

And these certain things contain him seeing you naked. Just one glance into the mirror is hard to bear, especially when it comes to your small chest. You simply hate the way they look, how they ruin every single outfit, how they make you look like a child. No matter what gorgeous gown you’re wearing, you never feel like a woman, like someone worth to be looked at. But still, Kento caresses every curve of your still dressed body carefully.

“You look absolutely stunning in moonlight, darling”, he hushes against your ear.

You love this man with all your heart. How he treats you with way more kindness than a single human would ever deserve, how he makes you feel good about yourself without even knowing. Kento Nanami picks up the pieces of your past and puts you back together like a complicated puzzle. Slowly and steady, step by step.

A whimper escapes your lips, the sensation of his fingertips brushing against your covered skin simply drives you insane. Oh, how much you adore that man, how much you admire him for making you feel so alive. Suddenly his plain touch doesn’t feel like enough anymore. You need him even closer, want to feel him even better.

“Please, take this off”, you mumble against his lips.

Kento stops in his tracks for a second, eyes staring at you intensively in your dark bedroom.

“Are you sure? I told you I can wait”, he reminds you gently while pulling a strand of hair behind your ear.

Are you sure? You didn’t let a man touch you after your ex, after all those nasty things he said about your body. Especially your small chest.

“Don’t you wanna get these things…y’know, fixed or something?”

“Leave your shirt on or I’ll turn off the light, these things turn me off...”

You hate how his stupid comments still haunt you even after all those years, despite the fact that you’re laying in the arms of none other than the epitome of a gentleman. Until today, you never allowed your boyfriend to take off your shirt, to even take a single glance in the direction of your exposed chest. But today feels different. With his eyes filled with nothing but affection, you finally feel ready.

“I don’t want you to wait. Please, take off my shirt”, you whisper into the night.

“Tell me to stop when you feel uncomfortable.”

You nod slightly, too occupied by the way his hands carefully wander down to the hem of your shirt, eyes fixated on yours. Your heartbeat picks up in an instant. Out of excitement, out of fear? You glance into his gleaming orbs that are filled with nothing but love. No, you don’t have to fear this man. But still…Will he like what he sees?

“You know I don’t have…I don’t have nice boobs. They are quite small…”, you suddenly blurt out.

“(y/n), you are the love of my life, my precious girlfriend. Every fiber of your being is way more than ‘nice’. I adore every inch of your gorgeous body”, he replies so softly that you feel like tearing up.

As if in slow motion he pulls up your shirt, reveals inch by inch of your naked skin until he pulls the fabric over your head.

You take a deep breath, try to read his face in the dim light. Is he disgusted, does he even look at you? Maybe he’s regretting his decision, maybe he finds you just as ugly as your ex did-

“You are so beautiful, I can’t take my eyes off you”, he hushes.

Kento Nanami stops your train of thoughts before you get lost in yourself, quiets the stinging voice of your ex-boyfriend inside your head.

Kento thinks you’re beautiful. Kento’s hand caresses your naked skin, gently cups your breast while he never fails to gaze at you.

“I love you, (y/n). In fact, I am the one lucky to have you. Thank you for putting your trust and love in me.”

“You…I love you so much, Kento.”

You can’t contain yourself any longer. Without hesitation, you pull your boyfriend’s face even closer, press your desperate lips against his. What a treasure he is, lifting you up without even realizing how much his words heal your soul.

If a man like Kento Nanami is able to love your small breasts than maybe, just maybe, you’ll start doing that as well.

Ryomen Sukuna

“There’s no way in hell”, you press out, groaning in scorching pain.

“Do you have a death wish or are you just dumb, woman? You know you’ll die if you don’t take off that uniform, right?”, Sukuna remarks dryly.

“I would rather die than taking off my shirt in front of…you”, you hiss through gritted teeth.

Sukuna can’t help but stare at you in sheer disbelief. Surprisingly enough, he decided to save your ass instead of using his time more efficiently. And now you’re laying in front of him, a gaping hole inside your chest, he offered to save your life.

And you, dumbass of the century, refuse to get saved by none other than the king of curses himself.

“What the hell is wrong with you? Do you really wish to die so badly?”

“I…I don’t want to die!”, you blurt out.

Fuck, how did you get yourself into that situation? Bad enough that you’ve got hit by that curse right into your chest, even worse that the king of curses himself appeared and wants to help you. But the worst thing is that you need to take your shirt off.

It is ridiculous and you know it. This is not the time to be insecure about your small tits. No, this is absolutely not the time to even think about shit like that. But the sheer thought of Ryomen Sukuna seeing your flat chest alone makes you rather die than letting that happen. No, the last thing you want is him making fun of you.

“Then why are you acting like a child? Hold still. You strange human, I should kill you right on the spot. Good for you I still have use for someone this skilled. You impressed me earlier.”

Under normal conditions, you’d feel some kind of pride over his words. But with death whispering in your ear and the stinging fact that his hands begin to bottom up your shirt….

You freak out.

“GET YOURSELF AWAY FROM ME!”, you scream pathetically, hands fighting so poorly against his that he catches your flying fists mid-air.

“Stop beating me before I’m losing it, brat”, he barks at you.

Just one more button. One more button and you’ll be completely exposed to him. The king of curses, seeing your small boobs.

“DON’T LOOK AT MY BOOBS!”

“What?”

He can’t believe his ears. This can’t be the reason why you pull up this fight. No, there’s absolutely no way in hell you’re acting like this because you’re ashamed of him seeing your breasts.

“Please…Don’t look at my boobs…”

The king of curses just stares at you emotionless.

“Who do you think you are to tell me what to do, woman?”

His gaze wanders right down to your bloody chest. You are rather flat chested, but oh you look delicious. Too delicious to take his eyes off you, too delicious to think about saving you. He never hunted after women, was never interested in all those big-chested females with their neck-line hanging to the ground. But you…This looks pleasant.

“Delightful”, he finally speaks out.

Too late for you to hear before your hand smacks roughly into his face.

“I SAID DON’T LOOK!”

“I SAID YOU LOOK DELIGHTFUL YOU LITTLE BITCH!”

“YOU…You what?”

Geto Suguru

Geto can’t help but stare at you, how your hips swing from side to side, how you wear your cute summer dress so easily. Not only the scorching heat of this summer day, but your sight as well make him feel light-headed.

“Staring again, Suguru?”, his best friend teases him in an instant.

“How could I not stare at her. She looks gorgeous in that dress”, he replies, not able to take his eyes off you.

“But she has no tits.”

You wish you didn’t hear those words leaving Satoru’s mouth, wish you could just giggle like a little girl and let your heart beat out of your chest because Suguru said you look gorgeous. But the second the meaning of his saying hits you, you stop in your tracks.

The stinging fact that your breasts are smaller than those of any other women at Jujutsu High and all those popular girls was always hard to bear for you. But with Suguru by your side, with his words sweeter than honey, you slowly but surely began to feel comfortable in your own skin again. Instead of oversized shirts, you started to wear dresses from time to time, bought the one you’re wearing right now with a slight neckline.

All that, only for your confidence to get crushed by that single comment.

You can’t contain yourself anymore. Without even trying to pretend you didn’t hear his venomous words, you turn on your heel and sprint down in the direction of your dorm. How stupid it was to even consider that a man like Suguru would actually like you back. After all, Satoru is his best friend, it’s clear that you look nothing like the girls they usually hang out with. Maybe your small chest isn’t enough for him…

Tears take your sight completely as you run straight to your room.

“(y/n), wait!”

No, not him. Not right now. Your heart almost drops to the floor when you hear his footsteps close behind you. If Suguru tries to cheer you up right now, you might break down completely.

“Hey, please wait for me.”

Gently, he grabs your wrist and spins you around.

“Let go of me”, you hiss, yanking your arm away out of instinct.

You don’t want to get touched by him, to even see him. God, you were really stupid enough to think that this man with the most tender eyes you’ve ever seen would actually like you back.

“Satoru fucked up with that comment. Hey, look at me. I know he made these comments before and I know you’ve had a hard time because of those stupid comments at school. But I’m here to tell you that I love you just the way you are, (y/n) …God, I love you with all my heart, I love you wearing those dresses, I love the way you move, I love the way you look. And it might sound totally weird, but I love your boobs. I’m…I’m obsessed with you.”

You have to blink a few times, try to process what just happened. Within a few minutes, you’ve heard your crush complimenting you, his friend insulting you for having small breasts and now Suguru is standing in front of you again, confessing his love for you and…your boobs?

“You don’t have to say those things to make me feel better”, you try to brush him off.

“I’m saying this because I mean it, (y/n). And I’ll kick his ass for saying something so stupid about you. When it comes to women, Satoru and I are the opposite of each other”, he explains briefly.

Oh, you are fully aware of the fact that Satoru Gojo hunts after every woman with cups bigger than your head. But something about the way Suguru stands in front of you, how his eyes literally beg you to believe him…

“I have enough of people judging me for something I can’t change”, you warn him.

“I don’t want to change a single hair on your body, (y/n).”

Slowly but surely, your eyes stop to burn in agony, your heart stops to ache, your body wakes up from its trance.

“So…you’re into small chested girls? Why am I supposed to believe this?”

Without wasting another minute Suguru steps forward, engulfs your body. And with one last glance into your widen eyes, he presses his lips against you’re the way he always imagined it.

“Is this proof enough?”

Tags: @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings@sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly   @froufrousnowman @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez @belovedvamp@wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz @darkstarlight82 @yukiotacon @satoreo

Gorgeous divider by @saradika 🤍

[gallilovesf1]

P4 Into You: “Luz solar”

Pairings (applied to the whole fic): Sergio Pérez x FemHorner!Reader, Toto Wolff x FemHorner!Reader, Platonic Lewis Hamilton x FemHorner!Reader

Warnings: Oral (F and M receiving), Jealous Sergio, maybe some typos?

Author's Note: Sorry if this took a while to publish, I was having a hard time thinking of an inspiration to do it:( but here you go!

You and toto got into his car, A Mercedes-AMG GT 63. You gasp, “Nice car–i’ve always wanted one, but dad wouldn’t let me own a Mercedes.” you joked as you roll your eyes playfully as Toto looked at you and chuckled, “I can buy you one if you like?” he teased you as you playfully smacked his shoulder, god his shoulder is so muscular you want to just unbutton his shirt and leave kisses on his chest and shoulder, you’ve seen shirtless picture of him online but damn, touching his shoulder for a second made you go feral, you’d be willing to give anything just to see him shirtless!

“Y/N?” Toto asked as you snapped out of your thoughts, “You alright?” “yes, i’m just- tired i guess” you sighed and smiled at him, “So where am i gonna drop you off then?” he leans at you slightly, as you typed the address on his gps, “perfect.” he said as he started the engine and went on your way to your home.

The ride was silent, you and toto were stealing glances from each other, he’s smirking whenever he catches you looking at him, its red light and the wind is cold, he gently puts his hands on your exposed thighs making you jump a little, “is this ok?” he looks at you, lightly caressing your thigh up and down, “y-yes..” he smirked, as he puts his hands a little higher, you almost whimper by his action and he knows it. Its green light when he looks on the the road but left his hands on your thigh still caressing them, then he turned left into a dark alley, turning off the car as he looks at you, “Y/N, I-” you cut him off with a kiss, he grabs your chin and deepens the kiss, exploring each others mouth, a whimper left out from your lips as toto lightly choked you, he pulls away as he deeply chuckled, “You’re a one dirty slut y/n, i’ll give you that.” you blushed from his words.

You normally don’t want to get called a ‘slut’. I mean who doesn’t, right? But when it comes to this man Toto Wolff, a rich billionaire team principal calling you a slut and it turns you the fuck on, it makes your pussy wet and clench around nothing.

Toto chuckled, “You like me to call you a ‘slut, huh Y/n?” he grabs your chin with his thumb, forcing you to look at him directly, “I asked you a question, haven't I, Schatzi?” you whimpered at the nickname, it never fails to give you butterflies, such a small word yet it has a big effect on you. “Yes, sir…” Toto smirked, “So ein gutes Mädchen.” (Such a good girl.) You don’t know what it means but fuck its making you grow wetter. “Go on the back, get naked.” you're shocked but nodded and went straight to the back and slowly removed your dress leaving you with nothing but a pair of black lace panties. While toto drives the car into a dark parking lot in the alley to keep things private. He opened his door and went to the back seat, he smirked when he saw you naked just for him, he opened the back seat door, as you shivered because of the cold wind outside. He sat beside you patting his lap for you to sit on, “Come” you nodded as toto smirks at you, you sat on his lap not knowing what to do, “Start rocking your hips for me, schatzi.” you look at him slightly taken aback from his request, “I'm not gonna ask again, Y/n.” You nodded and started to grind your hips back and forth on his lap, you felt his cock bulging in his pants, getting harder every time you grind him, “That's it Y/n, just like that.” He said as he brushed a strand of hair away from your face.

As much as toto wants to fuck you in his car right now he can't, he wanted to take his time on you, make you beg and break you for doing things like this, As much as you drive toto crazy by just doing this..he doesn't want to hurry.

You want to get fucked by toto so bad, you're soaking his pants by just grinding him, and god I hope toto doesn't notice it. You look at him desperate to cum, you whimper and struggling to keep up a pace, “Scheiße, y/n please don't stop..” toto whispered on your ears as he grabbed your throat harshly making you groan, “Fuck-” you felt toto's hands roam around your body, caressing your back, teasing your hardened nipples, kissing your neck all the way up to your jaw while you grind on his clothed cock.

You're so desperate at this moment, you don't care anymore if you make a mess on his lap, squirt your juices all over his clothes, make him cum by just grinding him. Toto noticed the desperation on your actions, he chuckled “I can feel your wetness, Schatzi, are you gonna cum for me?” He said choking you harshly which made you look directly at him, he's surprised to see you tearing up, your face red, and yet you still can't stop grinding him. You nodded, “I need your words, y/n.” “Yes, sir.” with that he gently put you down, laying you down beside him, then he quickly put his fingers on your lips, “Open” you open your mouth knowing what to do, you suck his fingers while you swirl your tongue around his two fingers that's currently inside your mouth, toto groaned at your action he slaps you, enough to make you stop sucking his fingers, “Fuck, y/n, you're going to be the death of me.” He pulls his fingers out from your mouth and quickly teases your entrance, “look how wet you are..all this for me, y/n?” you nodded eagerly, “Yes..sir-!” You're taken aback as he puts his fingers inside you, filling up your tight cut with his 2 fingers, you cried out, “Fuckfuckfuck!” You arched your back as he continued to penetrate your pussy.

Meanwhile, Sergio is worried. You didn't send him a message for a while. He's thinking of possibilities on what had happened to you, did you go home safe or are you even home yet? Did Toto drive you home…or did he— he snapped himself from thinking things, of course you'll be ok you promised him that you'll go home safe and update him every once in a while, but except you didn't..but maybe you're enjoying with toto…he couldn't think anything else, he stood up from the sofa going to the kitchen to grab a tequila, he wanted to calm, but he couldn't..he couldn't stop thinking about you, so he decided to call you, It took a while before your phone rings, you and toto looked at each other, he quickly grabbed your purse and your phone to give it to you, “Who is it?” He said, eyeing your phone, “It's..Sergio..” you're surprised that it isn't your dad your dad Calling, “Answer it.” Toto looked at you as he lowered himself to your cunt, your phone kept ringing, “C’mon Luz solar, answer it.” Sergio patiently waited for your voice, and finally you answered, “Checo..?” You almost whispered, “Y/N- Are you ok?” Checo sighs in relief when he hears your voice, “I- I'm ok.. just tired but I'm fine-” you left toto's gaze on you as he lowered his face to your cunt, “Do you want me to pick you up? You could've just asked me, you know?” Checo chuckled as you tried your best not to moan, “I..” you look down to see toto looking at you too, he flicks his tongue slowly as you roll your eyes to the back of your head, “Y/n?” “Checo-! I'm sorry I'll call you back!” You ended the call as toto eats you, you arched your back, pushing your cunt further to his face, Toto groaned at your action the vibration of his groan sends shivers to your skin, “Fuck! Toto please..” you begged and cried but toto kept eating you like a starved man.

Meanwhile, Checo left speechless at your action, He still felt so worried about you. “Fuck” he said to himself as he sigh, he sat on his sofa and didn't sleep to wait for you to call back, he's not worried that you're with toto, In fact he's jealous. You're supposed to be with him, celebrating the success of his race, not having dinner with the team principal of your rival team, He felt jealous yet happy for you. He just shrugged to himself and drank the whole bottle of tequila, not caring about anything else, except you.

Toto plunged his two fingers deeply inside your cunt, “What do you think your friend’s gonna think of what you're doing, Y/N?” He chuckled as you moaned his name “That's right, moan my name instead of his, I own you from now on, Y/n.” “Toto.. please–” you begged as toto fucked you faster with his fingers, eyes darting at you “You're gonna come for me, Luz solar?” Toto then chuckled as he teased you with the nickname that Checo likes to call you, “Fuck!” You arch your back as you squirt your juices on toto's clothes.

The next day

You found yourself lying on a bed, thank God you're sober enough to remember that you didn't go home to your hotel but with toto's. You lifted the blanket to see if you're wearing something, you're wearing a white button up shirt of Mercedes the one that Toto's wearing during the race, you sat up and Toto's shirt looks like a dress to you.

The bedroom feels comfortable, cozy, and surprisingly neat. The design is minimalist, there's some trophies and pictures, you scratch your eyes and yawn, you look to your side seeing the bed empty, just you.

Then you heard the bathroom door open, it's Toto. Topless and just wearing gray sweatpants, his hair is a little messy from the shower, there's droplets of water beaded on his chest, and his arms are very veiny…

“Goodmorning, Schatz.” He said grinning at you while slowly walking towards the edge of the bed. “Why am I here?” You looked confused, “You passed out after last night, I didn't know your address so I took you here.” That's a big lie, of course toto knows your address you typed your address in his gps last night, but toto wants you all for himself. His eyes trail on your legs, he likes how his shirt looks like a dress to you, your skin looks so soft, he wishes that he can leave marks on them, enough to make you realize that you're his. “I need to go, I'm sorry but we can't do this– i- I shouldn't have agreed on that date.” You started to panic as you stood up and tried to find your clothes but they're nowhere to be found.

Toto watches you as you panic, “Y/n.” He calls your name and you look at him “What..?” “Go eat first before you leave.” He said as he left the bedroom. You just ignored what you're wearing since you've been a little hungry, you followed toto downstairs to see him setting up the table, you sat on the other side of the table as he gave you eggs and bacon, “Coffee?” you nodded, as he went to the kitchen and started making you coffee, “How much sugar?” he said from the kitchen, “only 3!” You yelled, a few minutes later he's back with your coffee.He placed the coffee in front of you, “Eat up, I'll drop you off at your hotel, your dad’s been ringing you for a while as well as Sergio, they’re worried.” he said as he looks at you while you eat, you nodded “Thank you for the food Toto..” you said as you gave him a shy smile.

The drive to your hotel was quiet, he just turned the radio on and didn’t even bother to look at you or to talk to you, ‘he must be regretting what happened last night.’ you thought. But deep down toto wasn’t regretting it, in fact he wanted to do it again, he’s just afraid to touch you at the moment, after what he did to you last night...

“What do you think your friend’s gonna think of what you're doing, Y/N?” He chuckled as you moaned his name “That's right, moan my name instead of his, I own you from now on, Y/n.” “Toto.. please–” you begged as toto fucked you faster with his fingers, eyes darting at you “You're gonna come for me, Luz solar?” Toto then chuckled as he teased you with the nickname that Checo likes to call you, “Fuck!” You arch your back as you squirt your juices on toto's clothes. He groaned as he grind his hips to your ass making himself cum inside his trousers, “fuck!” he groaned, he threw his head back because of the feeling of cumming without being inside you or touching him, he’s just grinding his hips to yours, both of you stared at each other as he deeply chuckled, “Did so well for me, Schatz so well.” he pressed his lips to your sore cunt, you shivered at his action making yourself arched your back to his face as he gently nibbles your pussy, he slowly eats you out, tasting your juices as he slurps it making himself groan. “You taste so sweet, Y/n.” he looked at you as you looked at him with cock drunk gaze, “Toto please..i can’t..” you begged for his mercy as he continued to eat you after your climax.

He palmed his semi hard cock through his pants, still damp from his cum, he groaned at the feeling, the vibrations of his groan sent shivers to your spine, making your eyes roll back. He unzipped his pants and pulls his cock out, he pumped it while he eats you, making him hard every second because of your loud moans, he inserts his middle finger as he circles your clit using his thumb, he slowly fucks you with his finger, you roll your hips on his fingers as you desperately want to cum, “Patience now, y/n. Don’t you think we should take our time, hmm?” you don’t know what he’s saying but fuck, you badly want him inside you. He chuckled as you eagerly nodded, he pumped his cock faster as he desperately wanna cum too, but this time with your help, “sit up.” he commanded, you sat up as you shiver you saw toto pumping his cock up and down, You stared at the bulge of his pants, you’re not expecting him to be this big…you clench your pussy around nothing, “have you done this before y/n?" He said looking at his cock as he pumped it slowly, “done what..?” “given someone a head?” he grins at you, “No..i haven’t.” “Good girl then, i’ll teach you” he unbuttoned his pants and pulls it down to his ankles, “Go on.” he gestured you to lean down as you stared at the tip of his cock, it has a pink-ish color at the tip there’s a pre cum forming in it, “lick it.” you’re not sure on what to do so you just nodded and gave him kitten licks, “ahh fuck–” You looked up at him as you slowly took his cock inside your mouth slowly lowering your head so you won't gag, “Fuck, Y/n..”

Toto had dropped you off a few blocks from your hotel that you've been staying, your Father called you many times as well as your brother and Sergio, they've been worried but honestly your just scared to tell them the Truth, well checo knows that you went out with toto but he didn't know what happened after it, you felt bad about having to answer Sergio's call while having toto eating you out, he's just concerned, afraid that something might have happened to you, you'll definitely need an explanation later.

“Thanks” you said as Toto stopped the car a few blocks away, he didn't say anything, he stayed silent for a minute, you grabbed the door handle as he spoke, “This can never happen again, just forget whatever happened between us.” you nodded as you left his car, you didn't say anything because you couldn't find any words to say, you felt embarrassed and disgusted with yourself, did he just use you? You shrugged as you walked fast.

Toto stayed there for a while looking at you leaving, making sure you're ok, He felt stupid saying that to you, you're a wonderful woman he just thought that he may be a little too old for you, he doesn't want you to get hurt during the process of the ‘Relationship’ that's about to form.

You arrived at the hotel as you pressed the button of the elevator as the door opened and you saw your father with Sergio and your brother, ‘Shit’ you thought, “Y/n?” Sergio says, “Where have you been? I've been calling you all night?” Your father says as the three of them get out of the elevator, “I..I was with a friend, didn't checo tell you that?” You eyed checo “Yes, he did tell me and who's friend?” “it's Hannah,” Checo says, chuckling, “yes! Uhm Hannah!” “Our strategist?” Your father asked as he looked at you then checo “Yes, dad.” “You better be telling the truth Y/N, if I found out you're sleeping with one of the drivers on the grid I'll send you back to London, understand?” “Yes, dad understood.” “Good, Go change, we'll wait for you outside.” You frowned, “For what, dad?” Your brother answers your question, “Dude, there's no way you forgot my birthday!” your brother pouted at you as you realized it's your brother’s birthday! You just chuckled awkwardly and pretend to know that it's his birthday today, “I– yeah! Of course I know your birthday is today, you dummy, I'm just messing with you!” You chuckled awkwardly as you brother chuckled as well, you both likes to mess with each other and he knows it, but this time you really forgot that it's his birthday due to last night activities with toto, checo can sense the panic and awkwardness through your voice, he knows that you forgotten it because if you didn't you'll be the first one to wish your brother a happy birthday. “Happy birthday, Champ!” You hugged your brother tightly as you smiled shyly at Checo, who seemed not amused by you. You pull away from the hug, “Thanks, Y/n–” “C’mon three of you we'll have lunch to catch up.” Your father says as he puts away his phone to his pocket, “But I haven't changed my clothes yet..” your father groaned, “Just go upstairs and be quick, we'll wait outside, c’mon checo, John.” Your father says as he walks away, “I'll see you later sis!” Your brother said as he gave you a smile, you waved a hand at him as Checo stood beside you, “Aren't you coming with them?” He gave you a confused look, “Of course I am.. I'm just gonna come up with you.” You smiled at his words, “That's cute, Thank you checo.” You said as the elevator door opened and the both of you went inside.

You and checo arrived at your hotel room, you quickly went to the bathroom to take a quick shower and freshen yourself up, while checo sat down on your couch waiting for you to be done, “Checo?” You said as you peeked your head through the door, “Sí?” “Can you pass me my towel?” Checo nodded as he went to your dresser to get you a comfortable towel, “Here” he reached his hand inside the door looking away from you, “Thank you checo!” You said as you closed the door, checo decided to tidy up your room for a bit because he knows you take almost an hour to get ready, he folds your laundry, put your dirty clothes away, and threw away some trash that's on your table, he sighs as he sat down not knowing that you went out a while ago, you stared at him as he looks up at you, you were wearing a dark blue dress while your hair is wrapped around like a bun inside the towel, he gulped “I..I thought you'll be..uhm long there so I decided to clean up a bit, I couldn't get inside last night to clean your room because the keys are with you so..” you chuckled, “It's ok Checo, I appreciate it really.” the Mexican smiled up at you as you removed your towel that's been on your hair as you brush it with a hair comb, “So, about last night.. I'm sorry if I hung up on you, I was…busy.” Yeah whatever, ‘Busy’. Busy getting fucked by Toto Wolff. “No, I'm the one who should be saying sorry, Cariño..I was worried.. about you I was drunk too, I just couldn't think of anything else last night, I felt a little relief when I heard your voice..but I was still worried.” You were shocked to hear what checo says, you sighs as you smile at him, “It's ok Checo, you're my best friend.. it's normal to worry and to care about me..I Don't deserve you Sergio..” you held his hand as you spoke, 'Of course I deserve you' Checo thought, he wished that he wasn't just a friend, or a best friend..he wanted to be more than just a friend..he wanted to be yours and to be his..he wants to kiss you, to hold you..to arched your back against the soft mattress of his bed..for you to moan his name like a broken record..But in the end He's just your best friend, but no matter what the status is, he will care and worry about you.

Checo looks at his hand as you hold it, “Y/n..” he slowly looks up at you, “Hmm?” You gave him a concerned look, “What is it?” “I..i Li–'' his sentence was cut off by a phone call, he reached at his pocket, “Sorry I gotta take this–” he pulls his phone out to see the callee ID of your father, he answers it, “Checo, Where the hell at you? Where's Y/n? Is she coming?” You heard your father's voice, “Shit” you whispered, “I..uhm yes she's just locking the room, we're on our way.” He says as he ends the call and looks at you, “Ready?” You nodded, “Always.”

Took me a while to finish but I hope you like it! Let me know if you want to be added or remove in the taglist.

MASTERLIST🏎️

Taglist

@cheyxfu @simbelmynel20niniel @totowolfffcheco @barcelonaloverf1life

@bearryyyy @annetvkin

@xoscar03 @definitelymayb

@omgsuperstarg @alizztor @jointhehunt67

@rae-11

[personwhowrites]

Uhhh idk if you’re uncomfortable with this it’s ok if you don’t want to do this

Task force 141 (+ Alejandro, ruby and Valeria)

Being self aware about the player and finding out that their world is fake 😳😳😳 and maybe talking to the player through the screen???

Please and thank you 🙏 

Of course I’m comfortable writing this! Thank you so much for your request! Also I’m sorry I couldn’t do Rodolfo and Valeria, I couldn’t find something to commonly add them. Please forgive me!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Aware

You booted up your PC, excited to finally play the game you had been wanting for weeks. The missions seemed so fun to do and the characters you had seen looked amazing. Yet, when you started playing, you noticed something strange. The characters seemed to be aware of you, staring at you for long periods of time as if they were watching you. Sometimes you thought the game had frozen but the characters would blink, sending shivers down your spine. The game started to go in a different direction until finally, it slipped away from reality.

One of them spoke up, their words making your blood run cold.

Your heart skipped a beat when you heard the words, your terror palpable as you looked at them. Their eyes blinked and they crossed their arms, staring at you. “What..the fuck.." you said, your voice shaking. You were scared and you had no idea what was going on

John Captain Price

At first, Price seemed to be messing around with you, playing with your mouse and clicking it. He seemed to be fully aware of what was happening, so aware that he just sat there and stared at you, making your blood run cold.

Price shook his head and stood up, his disappointment clear in the way his brow was furrowed.

“You know, it’s a real shame you keep failing these missions," he said. "Honestly, I really hope you don't end up in the military, kid. It's not a good place to be if you can't complete objectives."

You sat there in silence, was some ones and zeros really just making fun of you? How and why..

Your heart sank as you looked at the different window, and you mumbled in disbelief, “Oh God, did my computer get a virus..? What the hell.."

“No virus here.” Price says making the game restart.

You gazed at your screen, relieved that everything was back to normal. You let out a small laugh and rubbed your eyes, but something about the game still made you feel uneasy.

Kyle “Gaz”Garrick

At first he seemed alright, but things started going wrong as the mission progressed. The game lagged and he finally had enough. He grabbed your character and slapped it hard. You stared at your screen, surprised by this new development in the game.

“Can you just get the shot already?!” Gaz yelled, making you freeze. “Who’s gonna be the next one to die?!”

Your mouth dropped open in surprise as he addressed you. You tried to exit the game, but he quickly froze your screen. He sat down and fixed you with an intense gaze.

“Can you please stop dying already?” Gaz said, making your hands tremble. “It’s so tiring having to keep repeating the same thing in this game.”

You frantically restarted your game, quickly cutting the power to your PC. You hesitated for a few minutes before pressing the power button again.

You gazed at the screen, then back at Gaz. He remained standing as if nothing had happened. You nervously chuckled to yourself and shook your head in disbelief.

John “Soap” MacTavish

Everything had been running smoothly, until you shot him during the mission multiple times. He quickly turned to face the camera and pointed a gun at your character. You froze as the game restarted. You shook off the strange encounter and kept playing the game. You eventually completed his mission, but just as you were about to turn off your PC, your screen froze. You awkwardly laughed as you reached out to press the power button.

“Touch that button and you’re dead,” Soap said, making your heart skip a beat. “Seriously, what was the point of all of that? I mean, when Price and Gaz said you were bad, I didn’t know it was this bad.

You remained silent as the Scottish-accented man continued to berate your poor gaming skills. Gaz and Price faded into the background, making you quickly turn off the PC and clutch your chest in a panic. Taking deep breaths, you held your head in your hands, trying to make sense of the situation. Was this really happening, or were you just sleep-deprived?

Simon “Ghost” Riley

It took a few moments for you to gather the courage to sit back in front of the computer and start playing the game again. Your mind was still swirling with the peculiar exchanges you had with the previous characters. Taking a deep breath, you finally managed to shake off the feeling of unease and opened the game - this time it was Ghost who appeared on the screen and immediately started breaking the fourth wall.

As you were about to start playing the game, you heard a familiar voice speak. You froze in your spot as you heard a mocking tone coming from the screen.

“Well well, little brat came back." Ghost said, his voice filled with amusement. "Heard you were bad."

You couldn’t take it anymore; you had enough of these peculiar interactions.

“What the fuck.." You muttered under your breath as you went into the game's settings, trying to make sense of what was going on.

You felt a chill run down your spine as you tried to comprehend the situation. "This is so weird.." You thought to yourself, feeling a sense of dread wash over you.Ghost looked at you with a smug expression as he crossed his arms.

“What’s weird is that you keep coming back, kid." He said with a mocking tone. "Hell, if I were you, I would have quit by now."

You finally mustered up the courage to ask the question that had been bothering you.

“So.. you’re all aware?" You asked, feeling a sense of dread wash over you. Ghost nodded, confirming your suspicions. "Ah fuck no, this is hella creepy."

You reached out to turn off the game, but you stopped yourself when you noticed Ghost looking directly at you. Could he really see you and know who you are? You felt a wave of anxiety wash over you as you contemplated the possibility.

“This is too much..” You murmured under your breath as you turned the game off. “..Way to much.. I should stop playing..”

Alejandro Vargas

You had successfully managed to put the eerie experience with the other characters out of your mind. Until now, when Alejandro loaded onto the screen, his smile widening as he noticed you - or rather, your character. It had been a couple of weeks since you had last turned on the game, but you were reminded of the fear you had felt as soon as you saw him.

“Please don’t..." you muttered under your breath. "Please don't respond to me..."

You held your breath, waiting for a response from Alejandro that never came. You let out a sigh of relief and closed your eyes, allowing yourself a moment of respite. Maybe you had been imagining it all this time.

Once you opened your eyes, the mission had already begun to load. You quickly put on your headset, a feeling of anticipation coursing through you. As you played, Alejandro’s words seemed to line up perfectly with the mission. You couldn't help but smile, feeling relief wash over you as you continued onto the next mission with him. That all soon came to an end, however, as you finished the last mission.

Alejandro’s voice was gentle as he spoke.

“Your smile is beautiful, Amor." You paused, your mouse hovering over the red 'x' button. "It was nice playing with you,"

You froze, panic rising as you realized that Alejandro could actually see you. He seemed to notice, and came closer to the computer screen.

“Relax, we all know about you. Good luck with the following missions.” Alejandro says making hands shake.

Then the game crashes making you quickly get up from your seat and cover your face. You were awake, fully awake..

[panda-of-the-trash]

Drabble 1: reflection

With the missions came quite a lot of grime and dirt. And how Cross hated his uniform being anything other than immaculate. Granted it was black, so one couldn’t really see if anything got on it. But still, he would know and it irked him. Not to mention himself. The Star Sanses and their allies, though friendly looking, could be vicious in battle. More often than not he got covered in blood and other bodily fluids, his own or someone else’s.

For that reason he absolutely loved Nightmare’s bathroom.

It was huge, with a crystal bathtub smack in the middle of the room. All of the bathroom walls, floors and ceilings were gray, but the shower, cabinets and sink were pitch black. And the faucets, they were all made of gold. 

Really it was the height of luxury and Cross would be lying if he didn’t feel a little spoiled whenever he could bathe in the beautiful crystal tub.

This wasn’t one of those days however, he’d just taken a quick but thorough shower to remove all filth from his body. He’d taken a hit to the face and wasn’t in the mood to take a long bath.

With a deep sigh he came out of the shower. The bathroom was full of steam, making his view a bit misty. Slowly he made his way to the foggy mirror and wiped a hand across it so he could look at himself in the mirror.

Wet white curls fell over his tan face. In some ways he looked so much like his despised creator, yet now after a quick wash, he looked like himself, not like the monster many made him out to be.

He looked tired. Cross knew his eye bags would never completely disappear but he loathed to look at them. He needed to look put together, presentable.

An endless sea of freckles still covered his face. It was one of the few things he liked about himself. He’d never understand why his creator made him with freckles in mind, imperfections were the things X-Gaster hated more than anything after all.

The only thing that was different was the giant scar running diagonally over his face. 

Earlier while battling the Star Sanses, he had been caught off guard and someone managed to slash his face. Luckily his eyes were spared but the cut was deep enough that it would inevitably scar. The red-pinkish line ran from the end of his right temple to the underside of the left side of his jaw. 

It made him sigh. He was already covered in a myriad of scars all over his body, but his face? Apart from the lightning scar and some small ones, his face was bare of scars. But after this, gods how would he ever be able to look in the mirror again. It wasn’t only a reminder that he was hideous, but that he failed.

Someone had caught him off guard. That couldn’t happen. He was captain of the moon guard, the force protecting Nightmare and guiding missions. He couldn’t be caught off guard. He couldn’t be slow. His world very much depended on him.

He was too busy looking at the scar to see the dark silhouette of his lover approaching through the mirror until Nightmare wrapped his arms around him from behind. 

Cross flinched the tiniest bit before melting into his embrace “ Mhh hi.”

“Hello darling, enjoyed your shower?”

Cross nodded, running a hand over his tentacles while Nightmare fussed over his hair a little.

He had been scared to face Nightmare so he went straight to their chambers to shower, but it appeared he could hide no longer from the king.

“I take it the mission went a little floppy?”

“Why would you think that?”

Why else could you be avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding you..” Cross trailed off, going quiet when Nightmare arched a pointed eyebrow at him through the mirror. “Okay maybe I am a little.”

“Why darling?"

“Have you seen me??”

"What? This little thing? I hardly noticed.” At a returned arched eyebrow from Cross, Nightmare sighed softly. 

“I look appaling.” Cross sighed, looking away from the mirror. “I look like a monster.”

Nightmare frowned, leaning down to nuzzle his cheek. “You don’t..”

“But I do! It’s the only thing people will see when they look at me now..” 

“Oh my darling starlight…do you know what I see?”

When he answered with a small shake of his head, Nightmare gently used a tentacle to point his vision back at the mirror. Cross hesitantly looked at his reflection.

“I see a handsome warrior, a fierce guard that will stop at nothing to protect his home and the people he cares for. And the scars you bear will make it known to everyone that you conquered all.”

Cross blushed slightly, giving him a bashful little smile. The god certainly had a way with his words.

“Besides.” Nightmare lifted the hair covering the right side of his face, showing the long deep scars over his right eye. “We match now.”

Cross gave a soft chuckle.

[sourw0lfs]

75 from the prompt list, maybe Eddie saying it to Steve, if it sparks joy ✨✨✨

Also available on AO3 here!

The bell is shrill as it rings and if Steve weren’t already right on the cusp of failing he would say fuck it and skip the rest of the day. Because honestly? School seems like such small potatoes compared to everything else he’s learned about the world in the last few months. 

He also just kind of feels like shit. 

Shoving the book he barely even remembers getting out in the first place back into his bag, Steve pushes himself to his feet. Just three more classes and he can go home and fall face first into his bed. Except for the part where his vision decides it’s done as soon as he’s on his feet so he kind of suddenly isn’t anymore. 

Blinking the blackness away again, Steve expects to find himself back in his chair or flat out on the floor. Instead he finds that while he is on the floor, his head is pillowed in someone’s lap. That’s… significantly more mortifying than just crashing straight down, because that means someone’s seen him fall over. Pass out? He’s not sure if he’d go that far. 

He hasn’t even had time to figure out who caught him when there’s a voice somewhere above him, clearly having noticed that Steve is awake again. “You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

The voice is familiar, but not enough that Steve can place it immediately. Instead he groans and tries to sit up. Which, of course, makes his head start swimming again. Letting himself sink back down and close his eyes again, the voice clicks in his mind. 

“Munson?” Steve asks, eyes flying open again and he tries to sit up on instinct which is still a bad idea. “Oh fuck…”

“Dude, calm down, you literally just fainted. Be still.”

Breathing in deeply through his nose, Steve gets his elbows under himself to try again, because third time’s the charm and all that, right? Right. “I’m fine,” he grouches as he slowly lifts his body back into something resembling sitting. 

There’s definitely a slump in his shoulders and spine and he has to lean his forehead against the leg of one of the desks, but he’s sitting up on his own. That’s a step forward. And now he can look at Munson properly where he’s sitting cross-legged on the space in between the rows and staring at Steve with a raised eyebrow.

“Pretty sure you’d have smacked your head if I hadn’t caught you. Don’t really call that fine,” he points out and Steve hates him a little for it. Because he’s not wrong. And Steve honestly does not need to smack his head on more things. 

“Well I’m fine now,” he bites back, but it lacks any kind of malice. It sounds tired, even to his own ears, and there’s little chance that Eddie won’t pick up on that. God, Steve just hopes he doesn’t—

“You don’t sound fine. Do I need to carry you to the nurse like some sort of damsel in distress?” Munson gives him a wide, toothy grin that makes it seem like the words are a joke, but even Steve can tell there’s something genuine under them. Something like concern maybe?

Damnit. 

Steve shakes his head and regrets it immediately as that sends everything spinning again. “I just need… to nap it off. Slept poorly last night.”

“And the three before that too? I’ve seen tired from an all nighter and this isn’t… This is more than one night.” 

The worst thing is, Eddie isn’t wrong. Steve is far, far too tired for it though so he levels the other teenager with the best glare he can muster up. “Why the fuck do you even care? You caught me so I didn’t crack my skull open, sure, but I’m up now. So fuck off or whatever.”

Eddie snorts with a roll of his eyes, but it’s not immediately mean like Steve is expecting. “Because I’m not convinced you won’t still crack your skull the second I leave you to your own devices,” he explains like it should be obvious. 

And maybe it should be, but Steve is too tired to figure that out. It doesn’t really answer why Eddie cares if he cracks his head open or not, but there’s no energy left for figuring it out. So instead he shrugs. “Might do, actually,” he admits with a sigh. “But I’ll figure it out. You don’t need to stick around.”

Leaning back on his palms, Eddie stares at the ceiling with a thoughtful hum. “I think that’s for me to decide. At least let me get you somewhere softer than this hard ass floor?”

It’s a kind gesture, one that Steve isn’t really sure he deserves, but he’s so tired and he doesn’t actually want to break open his skull on the floor of his English class so he nods. And immediately regrets it when his head spins again. 

It’s enough to spur Eddie into action, and soon finds arms in his space, one wrapping under his armpits and one the other guiding his arm over Eddie’s shoulders before the two of them get to their feet. There’s a barely audible grunt of effort as Eddie takes most of Steve’s weight on himself but he doesn’t complain. Instead he focuses on getting them one foot in front of the other out of the room. Meanwhile, Steve just groans and rolls his head to hide it from the fact that everything is spinning in a really nauseating way. 

He only lifts it again when there’s a mumble of “stairs” in his ear and the ground changes under his feet. Lifting his head, however, seems to have been a bad call, because the sun is so much worse than the buzzing overheads of Hawkins High. “Why’re we outside?” he mumbles back, trying to help the two of them not fall in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. 

“Because…” Eddie starts, but the sentence doesn’t get finished before there’s a jingle of keys.

Steve feels himself being shifted off Eddie and guided to lay down… somewhere. He cracks one eye open, thankfully not blinded by the sun anymore, to reveal the roof of a car.  His brain fills in enough gaps to recognize that it’s Eddie’s van, but that still doesn’t answer the why. At least not until the doors get shut again, Eddie clambering in after he gets Steve settled, and things get cloaked in semi darkness. “Oh,” he says so softly he can barely hear himself. 

There are still questions buzzing in his brain, but Steve tells them all to shut up as he lets his eyes fall closed again. It’s much better than getting dumped in a library chair or whatever else he was expecting. 

“I’ll wake you up at the final bell,” Eddie tells him as he shimmies himself over the back row of seats. “Get some sleep, okay, Harrington?” 

Part of Steve knows he shouldn’t be skipping classes, but the louder part is too tired to give a fuck. Not even including the part where he’d nearly blacked out from the exhaustion eating away at his consciousness again before he can even reply. Maybe a nap isn’t such a bad idea. 

[kim-poce]

5. No God In Town: Catharsis

On Patreon (two weeks earlier release)

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I admit to having taken more time than needed to start the story, it was the first time I was going to just share a memory with someone who hopefully will not overreact in some religious way and part of me still expected it to turn out really badly, maybe talking to them at all was a bad idea. Still, they already saw my appearance, they know I’m not human, and they didn’t change their behavior even after glancing at the cube outside. So I decided that if any group of humans was safe to talk to, this group is these cubs.

The cubs were sitting on my carpet since the wooden benches were too uncomfortable and small to fit all of them, they didn’t complain about it, though, so I think the cub pile they made was comfortable enough.

I knew for a fact that there are many “interesting” things in my life, that is, if you look at it under the eyes of human cubs. I could talk about my powers, and about the religion from where I came, about the prayers and the followers. There was no way I would mention such a thing, though. I could talk about the war, maybe the cursing cub would like to hear about it, but it has this strong rotten smell, too rotten to fit casual storytelling to human cubs lucky enough to never meet war. I decided that it didn’t need to be a history about me, and being present on the scene would be enough.

So I talked, and while I did it was as if I was back in the very moment it happened.

I was on the run, or at least I felt that way, it had been years since I left my group behind but if I tried I could almost hear their pleas and their cry of despair and anger as I tried to earn back the love of the god that forfeited them.

“I was traveling across many lands back then,” I started. “It was before The Miracle, so the sky was still grayish red, as if it was on fire, burning and choking everything under it. I didn’t like the color red back then.”

I was running as far away from the several battlefields as I could, I had seen too much blood and fire, already, I had failed to save too many humans, and I had helped to hurt even more. I had gotten enough of red. But no matter where I went the sky would still work as a reminder, there was no walking long enough to escape reality.

“My opinion, of course, wasn’t universal,” I paused, thinking about the foolish time when I tried to express my opinion, thinking about the foolish humans that always took my words to extreme levels. “The place I reached had once been a small country, it was then no more than a big village or a small town. The ground was reddish, it would turn into mud during rains if not properly taken care of. But the humans in that place took such care about the land, it was clean and colorful, I knew red was hot but only then did I find out that it could be so warm.”

“I didn’t talk to anyone at first, there were a couple of strong-looking humans that surrounded me when I got too close. I had to show I wasn’t carrying any weapons, and I handed out bad-tasting food as a way to show I meant to harm.”

“Why bad-tasting food?” the mint cub asked.

“It’s a special kind of food. Anyway, I was using a human appearance, so I know they didn’t know what I was—” the clapping cub laughed for some reason, but he stopped when the flower cub pinched his side “—and even after the food they were wary of me, taking up a human appearance takes energy, and learning a new form is too tiring.”

As I walked through the roads, after the strong-looking humans let me go, the human cubs would either naturally get away from me, or be pulled away by the adult humans. There was a time when humans would never look at me with such untrusting and disgusted expressions. But I had long left that past behind.

“For them, I was foreign, which back them meant I was a potential killer, threatening the few that were left from these humans. I don’t know if you know, but humans tend to break themselves down in groups, and when someone from a different group approaches some humans can react really badly.”

The cubs answered in a mix of “Oh, don’t tell me!” and “oh yeah, we know.”

“I won’t talk much about them, it would be a long story that you wouldn’t find ‘interesting’, but I’ll talk about this one incident that happened while I was there. It was one particularly red morning, and I was helping the people dig a wheel. From what I had heard their source of water was poisoned by the enemy.”

It wasn’t a human work, I could feel it, the water had this gray feel of it, no color, it was just a gray feel, and I knew only I could sense it. It hadn’t been poison, it was magic. I couldn’t do much about it, it was out of my expertise. I almost felt grateful for my former group, the followers never forced me to learn how to poison a river.

“That’s when that happened,” I smiled, it was a good memory, one that makes me actually hope for something I can’t pinpoint. “I had heard about this but I wasn’t sure if this was truly real until I saw it with my own eyes. The first change was the air, it got lighter somehow, more breathable as if for the first time in ages it was truly healthy. The hole we were digging came next, it flowed with clean water, slow at first, enough for me and the strong looking humans to walk away. The flow got faster and faster and it didn’t stop until a medium size lake, the water was light brown as was common in that area, don’t let the color deceive you, as that lake was clearer and more transparent than I had ever seen. You could see the exact moment the fishes came to existence. Then it was the plants turn, long extinct plants grew in seconds, and trees grew so tall that I could not see the top of them. We were stunned by the sudden miracle, the sudden creation of life right in front of our eyes, later I found out that even the poisoned water was purified. I can’t begin to describe how incredible that sight was, and I’ll never forget that, nor the warm party the humans made afterward. It was the happiest I ever saw a group of humans be.”

The cubs had their eyes widened, even the cursing one who usually doesn't look at me while I am talking.

“How? What, I mean, what happened?” The clapping cub asked, tilting his head to the side. “Was it you?”

“Of course not, I can’t create life, back then people used to call it Catharsis. It was more like a tale and a myth than something people truly believed was possible. I don’t know much, I heard the earth has a limit to how much it can take, and sometimes it just… do this. I don’t know if I believe it.”

“You are saying that the earth can do magic?!” the cursing cub asked. “like… the ground?”

“The planet. And yes, of course, everything can do magic.”

“Humans too?” The flower and mint cubs asked at once, “Can we do magic?”

I grimaced. I didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t want to think about it, and I didn’t want it to be possible. “No,” I lied. “Animals can’t. Everything else can, in its own way.”

“That’s a shame,” the clapping cub said. “Doing it must be so cool.”

“It is,” I agreed. Doesn’t matter what happened in my life I was never driven to hate magic. “Was this story interesting enough?”

“Yes!” the flower cub said. “I didn’t know earth could do magic. I wish I could see it.”

“I know,” I said. Humans always hope for a miracle. “Magic comes naturally with life, and earth is said to be the source of life.” or so the followers said. 

“Can you show magic to us?” the clapping cub asked, making me stop breathing, and worse, a part of me didn’t think it was a bad idea, a foolish part of me. “It would be- Ouch! Hey, why did you–”

“Ignore him, Biggie, he is an idiot, we don’t need to see anything,” the flower cub said, while the clapping and cursing cub fought behind her. “It’s getting late, we should sleep, tomorrow I need to show you the magic trick called: How Not To Kill Your Plants, and Dani can do another magic trick called: Buy Thing In The Market Without The Guards Seeing.”

“Why can't the guards see you?” I asked. As if this, and not the fact that I had taken curious human cubs into my house, was the important issue then.

“We don’t like sons of a fucking-”

“What Fern means is that we don’t get along,” The flower cub cut. “Thank you for letting us sleep here tonight.”

I don’t know when my guard lowered, but I smiled, and almost said that they could be there as long as they wanted. This was dangerous, this was so dangerous and yet… Maybe we are not so different, humans and I, maybe I also wait for the miracle of being safe around someone.

“You are welcome,” I said, deciding to recall my memories as soon as I was alone, and believe me, I tried. But I didn’t.

—

@extemporary-username, @the-magpiesystem, @nexfox-art, @kathea, @wolfeyedwitch, @latenightcupsofcoffee, @blu-jay-2779, @rose-pinkie

[solomonyau]

what it's like inside my mind - Chapter 16 : '12 Steps That Happened At The Club ; 7 Steps to What Loving Me Would Actually Look Like'

To the girl I met on a unsuspecting Thursday Night, 

I promise I’m not salty about you not getting back to me.

Maybe it’s a little lie I tell myself about all the other times I’ve swiped right on others while wondering whether these damn dating apps actually work.

It’s tiring to be consistently told by my friends that after being single for so long I might as well give it a try, 

But damn if luck was ever on my side I’d be boo’ed up by now, like Ella Mai dropped Whatchamacallit, so chewed up by now, tucked into bed with soft spoken words like I love you right now, - but fuck it

I’ve been told that when you decide to approach a woman as a man you gotta look at a couple key things - especially when you’re on a night out

Maybe it’s to make up for the fact it might be the ballsiest thing I’ll ever do or for the fact that fun is through pick ups & cliche lines

Without a doubt holding on to scarred sacred vows to atone for some lonely nights, let's not get started for them shots that get you fucked up til the day goes by

But anyway, let me list them out : - 

Whether she has her friends around her, try not to come off as creepy

If the homie is really the homie & he’d wing man as per all the other times you’ve done so for him

There’s a chance you might be alone in this, so down your drink

Make sure you ask the waiter for another one

A little liquid courage can get you far

Make sure your dance moves are in check, & that your salsa will show her that your inner dancer is the best damn thing she’ll ever see

It might be a lil loud but scan the room & understand the exits

If she’s not interested that’s okay but make sure you be a gentleman about it

You don’t always have to go into it needing to pick a girl up

Sometimes just telling her ‘Hey, I saw you across from the room, & I don’t really do this much but I couldn’t pass this chance up to tell you that you have one of the most beautiful smiles I’ve ever seen.

11 & 12 - are just understanding you’re just a cringe fest to most but maybe romance is for some

13. Would be the amount of lines I’d draw up to reach your scars, pull them tight & hug them

14. Are the days I’d count just so I could take you out on a picnic

15. Will be the Continuous findings of small pockets of happiness within your smile

16. Circles around you just so you know I’d love you endlessly

17. Will be taken down as - Hugs will be non negotiable, I’d hold on tight to your hand, & forehead kisses will be showered over you

18. Don’t go thinking you’d be an independent woman now - cause that damn car door is the one that I’m gonna be opening for you

19. Will be the amount of flowers that’ll be stacked up in the bouquets I’d give you

20. Repeating steps 1 to 12 wouldn’t be of much value, but 13 to 20 is all I ever want to do with you & it’ll be - What Loving Me Would Actually Look Like.

So, I promise I’m not salty,

I promise I’m not salty about you not getting back to me,

Because I’ve been told that despite my countless attempts of failed love,

I kinda know what I have to offer,

Whether it’ll find me or not I’d rather have my peace.

Maybe it’s like that one SZA song AFTERMATH saying Loving as a Unicorn Gets So Lonely

But on the down low I’d feel like Drake cause internally I’m just a Certified Lover Boy

My conversations with God tend to never lead to agreeable discussions of what love actually looks like for me, 

But maybe - these last 7 steps are what it’d actually look like for you. 

[foxy-not-pirate]

6,15, and 23 for the valentines ask game!

Alright so I decided to make these all PJO-HOO-TOA bc I can.

6-What is that angstiest (?spelling can fuck off and die) ship you like? I really like valgrace for angst specifically because it’s so specifically doomed to fail, and yet! And yet! They love each other so strongly, to the point of letting themselves die so the other doesn’t have to. Because that’s always what they do, isn’t it? Jason is the perfect little soldier, just a weapon for the gods, for his father. He fights because it’s all he knows, and then come Leo and Piper. And for once, he doesn’t fight to destroy. No, now he fights to protect.

And Leo is disposable, he knows it. He’s a flame, he helps those in need until it burns him out, he gets too tired, and he’s extinguished. Sometimes he can get rest, rekindle that spark, and keep going. But most of the time, he eats sugar and drinks Monster, like adding fatwood to a fire until it’s gone, and he sparks out, to sleep for a week straight and then do it all again.

But together, they care strongly enough about keeping the other happy and safe to return after each battle, each failed experiment, and get some rest, eat a real meal, not whatever snacks they have stashed in the lab or the forge or the scouting positions. They know it won’t last, but they take every moment of peace, grateful and greedy.

And then Leo dies. He doesn’t really, but Jason doesn’t know that. And Jason is so, so very tired. He no longer has any attachment to the mortal realm, he believes that once he Piper broke up with him, she hates him, his best friend (Nico) has a boyfriend and two sisters and is mending his relationship with Percy. His sister never visits, and why should she? He failed her (no he didn’t). Everything is a mess and the only person who ever truly needed him, loved him is dead. (No he’s not. He’s in Indianapolis with a new identity)

If a soldier has no one to fight for, what’s he good for? Nothing. So he throws himself in front of a spear, and trusts that if he’s needed once he’s gone, Nico will drag him back to life by the ear. And he will join his love in Elysium and have eternal peace.

But he gets there, and no-one has seen his love. So he can’t help but wonder whether Leo has gone to be a Shade, and thinks that he must, because no one would dare to say that his Leo, his precious little spitfire, could ever be sentenced to eternal punishment. (Leo is alive. Alive and mourning, with his sister, with Piper, with Reyna and Frank and Hazel and even Apollo and all of the demigods whose lives he’s improved.)

Eventually Jason can’t stand it anymore and goes on to live his second life. A soldier cannot stand at attention for an eternity, and he needs variety. Later that year, Leo dies. Maybe he’s 20 or 30 or older. He asks about Jason upon his arrival, and finds that he just recently chose rebirth. He mourns a bit, but decides the best thing to do is follow.

oof that was supposed to be short but turned into an entire fic sorry.

moving on, number 15- the first ship I liked for pjo was absolutely percabeth. Simple, vanilla ship. I don’t have much to say lol.

23- a ship I like because of fans. personally, I like Connor/Malcolm. I’m a big fan of fleshing out super small characters and then smushing them together, and these two are perfect for that.

[chinahatbeach]

Thoughts for Today

Monday, or as I call it, back to square one. My mind is full of thoughts and I am chasing them around like they are a herd of rabid squirrels. Do you ever notice that I talk a lot about squirrels? Oh, see… I can get off track. Dang skippy.

The last few days have me wondering so many questions of life. Which road do I travel? Where do I go from here? And then I ask myself if I’m doing what I should be doing. Am I doing what God wants me to do?

I am a planner and organizer and I like to have a thought or two of what to expect down the road. And I have found that having my calendar with it’s scheduled things is not what I need to do to perfection. After the last few days, I have found that I need to let go, let God, and it will work out exactly perfect according to Him. How do I know this? Small things……… so, on Saturday, I had the mind thought of doing this or that. Plans. I did fulfill the morning plans but came home tired and I knew I wouldn’t be able to get much done with the feeling I had. So, I took a nap and thought I just might not get done with the chores of the day. I woke up from the nap, thought about the chores, went and got them done, did other things I wanted to do, and had plenty of time for everything in the day, including that lovely nap. I place false expectations on myself. And there is the answer to the questions of what to do, where to go, and so much more. Let go, Let God!

What do I control? I try to eat correctly. I fail at that. Yes, I do fail. I need to seek God’s help and plan for me. I am seeing the naturopathic doctor and so many of my aches and pains are not there any longer. My Charlie horses are less and less. I get one maybe once a week instead of nightly. My joints in my fingers, hip, and foot are feeling better. A healthy diet and great supplements play a huge factor in keeping my body healthy. Seeking God’s hand in my life makes me feel better physically, mentally, and spiritually.

My road is not your road. If you ask me for guidance, I will tell you that you can’t pattern your life like mine. Seek God. Find out what He wants for you. And this is in all aspects of your life, not just here or there. How do I know? I have seen it. I have seen how He takes care of me. I’m not in charge of me, Jesus is. If I try to take Him out of the equations of my life, well, I fail. And I have done some real bone-headed, stupid things. I have a list of stupid I have done and I can tell you, I can look at that list but not dwell on it. If I dwell on it, I will beat myself down and dislike myself for being a stupid idiot. Plan and simple, I have failed in many ways but God’s had my back and has been there when I didn’t listen to Him. Will I fail again? Probably. I won’t make the same mistakes twice……. I’ll probably make new ones!

I look back and ponder many of the years of my life. Time wasted doing stupid things that didn’t make a difference. But did they? Oh, they did make a difference. I need to make a new list of ‘goals’ that happened without my interference. God’s hand played a part.

So many people look back at pre-pandemic and post-pandemic. I look back at before Dennis died and after. He’ll be gone 12 years on March 4th. Where have the years gone? What have I done? Where am I going? And the answer is……. I don’t have a clue. What are my plans for the next 12 years? Heck if I know. I only know that Jesus is in charge of my time and the roads I must travel. I have dreams of this or that but are they the things that He wants me to do or what I want to do? About the only plans I have for the future is to finish trimming my rose bushes and plants, a load of bark dust for my yard in March, and cleaning out the garage and hauling more away in donations. I might kick my worm farming into high gear, buy a bunch of baby chicks to raise, and maybe in the future, find a pug that needs a forever home. Other than that, my life is in God’s hands. His plans are not my plans……….. and if He wants me to do something other than my daily plans and sends me here or there with His purpose, I shall answer the calling.

Well, it’s time to hit the shower and get ready for my day. I go to the farmer’s house to clean today. I’ll enjoy the ride and the sights along the way. I plan on taking a couple of pictures here or there. Beauty is out there to see each and every day. I hope you find that beauty today.

And that’s the way it is…………Edit

[winter-soldier-vibes]

avenger!reader who suffers from depression and is really hard on herself/themself and blames themself after a mission went wrong and locks themselves out, bucky is worried abt them and comforts them

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count:3102 (wow I went off the rails a bit huh 😅)

Warnings: self-blame, mentions of death, nightmares, panic attacks, breakdown, lots of tears, this one’s really angsty, flashbacks, some fluff/comfort but so much angst

A/N: I loved this request and had a great time writing it. This one’s a lil more angsty than I usually do and deals with some heavier themes than some of my other ones, so please take care of yourself and heed the warnings. I love you guys so much!

There was nothing you could have done.

You were the first off the quinjet, anxious to get out of the unbearable silence.

You kept your head down as you walked quickly to your room, trying to make as little noise as possible, stumbling to get into your room as fast as possible, locking the door behind you as you let the tears fall.

You looked up at the ceiling, trying to stave off your breakdown as you tried to keep taking even breaths.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” you said in a small voice.

“Yes?” the AI responded.

You took a shaky breath, trying to keep your voice even. “Turn on soundproofing, please.”

“As you wish. I am picking up on signs of distress, would you like me to call Sergeant Barnes?”

You shook your head violently at the thought of anyone, especially your boyfriend seeing you like this. “No.”

“Are you sure? Would you like me to call -”

“Don’t let anyone in this room.”

“As you wish, Y/n.”

You heard a noise indicating that the room had been soundproofed.

And you lost it.

You brought a hand to your face and sank back against the wall, shoulders shaking with the force of your sobs. You pushed yourself back against the wall, trying to ground yourself. Your mind flashed back to the mission you had just returned from and you let out an agonizing scream.

You’ll never forget the looks on their faces.

“Y/n, come on we have to go!”

“Wait - no I almost have them!”

“Help us - please - no don’t go!”

Blood curdling screams that didn’t belong to you, followed by your own.

A building had collapsed on an innocent family in the aftermath of the fight. You tried to get them out, but you were too late, Steve pulling you away at the last second before you were taken out too.

You were so angry, you had been so close - if you had seen them sooner, if you had just a few more seconds, maybe you could’ve gotten them out.

The last thing that they saw was their only hope being pulled away from them before being suffocated.

You were the last thing they saw, you had promised to get them out.

And you had lied to them.

The last thing they felt was hope that they’d see another day. No - the last thing they felt was betrayal and fear when they realized that one of the world’s greatest heroes couldn’t be their hero too.

The moments that had followed were a blur, your eyes frozen on where their eyes had been, shock coursing through your veins. You had seen someone die before but...not like that. Not when you could’ve maybe saved them.

The shock quickly bubbled into anger as you turned to Steve.

“Why the FUCK would you do that? I could’ve saved them!”

“You would’ve died Y/n!”

“If you hadn’t been distracting me then maybe I would’ve gotten them out in time!”

You had angry tears in your eyes, hitting Steve’s chest and doing exactly nothing to his broad form while he tried to console you.

“Get the fuck away from me! I could’ve saved them, this is YOUR fault.”

The ride back was silent. No one dared to talk to you about what had happened. You felt bad after a while but you couldn’t apologize without completely crumbling. If you opened your mouth you were certain that sobs would come rather than words.

You did feel horrible for what you said, because it wasn’t true. It wasn’t Steve’s fault.

It was yours.

So you waited until you returned to the privacy of your room, screaming bloody murder over the guilt you felt. Replaying what had happened, telling yourself everywhere you had gone wrong, every hesitation that could’ve given you an extra few seconds.

You felt like you’d never stop seeing their eyes, paralyzed by fear.

You were the last thing they saw, and now you would remember their last moment for the rest of yours.

You couldn’t imagine the amount of pain and fear they had felt when they realized they weren’t getting out of the rubble alive. That they would die as a part of a warzone they didn’t intend to be a part of. The feeling of hope draining from their bodies, blood running cold as they realized they had mere seconds left.

“No!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, body curling in on itself as you drew your knees in and wrapped your arms around your torso, sick to your stomach.

This was your fault, and you would never forget it.

---

The rest of the team had sighed as they watched you get off the quinjet, walking a bit too fast to be alright. They shared concerned looks with each other, watching your form disappear into the compound.

You weren’t okay, but after what had happened when Steve tried to approach you, they thought it best to give you some space.

The rest of them entered the compound, going their separate ways as Steve sat to down and ran a hand down his face, trying to get his mind off of what had happened. He was shaken up too, but he couldn’t lose you like that. You would die protecting strangers, and while he thought that was noble, he wondered when there wouldn’t be someone to pull you out in time.

Bucky had come down to check on you, knowing that the team had gotten back from a mission. But before he could knock on the door, F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke. “Sergeant Barnes, Y/n has requested that she not be disturbed.”

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, both in concern and confusion. Usually when a mission hit you hard, you would talk to him about what had happened. So either you were just tired, or this was worse than it had ever been.

He clenched his jaw and stood there for another few moments before he walked away, heading towards anyone who may be able to tell him what happened on the mission.

He came into the common room, seeing Steve doing a mission report. Well - the mission report was in front of him and he was staring blankly at it.

“Steve?” Bucky said softly, trying not to startle him.

Steve didn’t look up.

“Steve,” Bucky said a little louder.

Steve looked up from the papers, shaking his head slightly. “Hey, Buck. What’s up?”

“Are you okay?” Bucky asked, taking in Steve’s tired appearance and how his mind seemed elsewhere.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Steve said, barely looking at Bucky.

“You know, I’ve taken care of enough black eyes from mister back-alley hero to know when you’re not really fine.” Bucky said with a small smirk.

Steve’s eyes flicked up to Bucky’s as he sighed. “It’s not me you should be worried about,” he muttered.

“What happened?” Bucky asked.

Steve recounted the mission to his friend, Bucky getting increasingly concerned about you. He knew you had a tendency to blame yourself for different things, and he knew what blaming yourself for someone’s death was like, even if you couldn’t control the situation.

Bucky was brainwashed. You were too late. Two different things, but the survivor's guilt was excruciating.

“Is she okay?” Bucky asked nervously.

“She didn’t get hurt, if that’s what you mean,” Steve started, “but she seemed pretty shaken up. You haven’t talked to her?”

“She doesn’t want to be bothered,” Bucky said.

Steve nodded. “Just give her some time,” he said, worriedly.

Bucky nodded, though unconvinced. He bottled up his emotions until the two of you met. Ever since the two of you never kept anything from each other. And he knew that seeing someone die and feeling at fault for it could destroy you. He wasn’t sure if time and space was what you needed.

But it was what you wanted right now. So he wouldn’t get in the way.

----

Back in your room you were curled in a ball on the floor, sobs wracking your body as you lost all sense of time and space and all you knew was it hurt and if you closed your eyes they were right there and you couldn’t do anything about it. You had a hand pressed to your chest as you tried to breathe but eventually gave way to a new surge of agony when your mind went back to how people died and you couldn’t help them.

You tried to calm down but then your mind would remind you that they had a family and they would never see them again and it was your fault.

“Stop, please just stop,” you put your hands over your ears as you tugged slightly on your hair.

They died terrified.

“Please make it stop,” you sobbed.

You were supposed to help them and you failed.

“No, God, please stop…”

They died because of you

----

You had fallen asleep on the floor at some point, when, you weren’t sure, but you woke up to your own screams. You were drenched in a cold sweat, dried tears on your face and chest heaving as you tried to breathe. You brought your hands to your mouth when you realized it was just a dream, sobbing once again.

You didn’t know why these people’s death was hitting you harder than any other death you had seen. This wasn’t the first time you had seen people die - far from it. You’d killed your fair share of agents without a hint at remorse. Because they deserved it.

You’d seen buildings burn down, fall apart, innocent people die - but you’d never felt as responsible as you did this time. Because they were right there. And you were so close.

But they still died and you saw their last moments. And you were theirs.

And it was destroying you.

----

You didn’t leave your room the following day. Or the day after that.

Needless to say, the team was extremely worried about you. Especially Bucky.

He knew what survivor’s guilt could do to a person, and he knew being alone with your thoughts wasn’t helping. He also knew that pushing the topic could do much more harm than good, causing you to retreat further into yourself.

He tried texting you, wanting to let you know that he was there for you, that he was worried about you, and that he loved you.

None of them went though because your phone was off, you having not even looked at it since coming back from the mission.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. was still telling everyone that you did not want to be disturbed, as you had requested. Obviously Tony had the power to override the locks, but again, no one wanted to push you.

When it had been 3 days since you had seen any sunlight, Bucky had had enough. He knew you couldn’t be taking proper care of yourself and he couldn’t let you do that to yourself. He had Tony override your locks and he came to your door, knocking gently.

“Y/n?”

Silence.

He knocked again, a little louder. “Y/n? I’m coming in, alright?”

Silence.

Bucky took a deep breath before he opened your door slowly, peeking his head in. it was the middle of the afternoon and your room was dark, the only light coming from the hallway and from the cracks between the shades, which were drawn shut.

Bucky let himself in and turned on a lamp, shutting the door behind him. He looked at you with worried eyes as he took in your appearance.

You were pressed up against the headboard of your bed, knees drawn to your chest as you stared blankly, your eyes fixated on your bedsheets. Your eyes were red, face blotchy, your hair was a mess and you were still wearing your uniform from the mission.

“You shouldn’t be here,” you said quietly, voice raspy from yelling these past few days.

“Y/n -”

“Get out,” you said quietly, though not angrily.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, y/n.”

“Please,” you said, cursing yourself as your voice cracked. You didn’t want to breakdown in front of Bucky.

“It’s not your fault, y/n.”

You pushed yourself off of the bed, shaking your head. “I’m not doing this right now, Bucky.”

“You’re going to have to talk about it at some point, y/n.”

“Not if I can help it.”

“This kind of thing isn’t going to go away, okay? Time heals but not by itself.” You weren’t listening as you ran a hand over your face, overwhelmed.

“Please, talk to me y/n. You’re going to make yourself sick.”

“I’m fine.”

“This isn’t fine. Not taking care of yourself and living in the dark staring at the wall isn’t fine, y/n. Please, don’t hide from me. It’s just me, y/n.”

You shook your head, eyes glazed over like glass. “I could’ve saved them.” you said simply.

“Y/n, there was nothing -”

“BULLSHIT!” You yelled. “There had to have been something I could do, if I had gotten there earlier or - or if I had moved faster or been stronger then I could’ve gotten them out! It’s my fault they’re dead okay? I couldn’t save them and that’s my fault!”

Bucky walked over to you slowly, asking you to look at him. “It isn’t your fault, y/n. The building collapsed, no one could’ve gotten them out.”

“I could have saved them.” you said again, tears falling down your face. “I could have gotten them out. I was the last thing they saw and you know what I was doing? Being carried away like some coward. They died afraid because a superhero couldn’t save them. And that’s on me.”

Bucky shook his head slightly. “You can’t save everyone, y/n.”

“So what, am I supposed to choose? I’m supposed to choose whether I save people or move on because they aren’t part of the mission? Am I supposed to let them die?” you asked incredulously.

“You can’t risk your own life like that, y/n.”

“What? And pretend like my life is any more important than theirs?!” you exclaimed.

“Y/n -”

“No, why do I have the right to walk away from people because I’m afraid of getting hurt when they’re about to die? What gives me that right?”

“Because I can’t lose you!” Bucky exclaimed. “Yes, those people matter, but goddamn it y/n, you have helped so many people and you will keep saving so many people, but you can’t do that if you’re dead. We help who we can and mourn the rest. It’s not your fault that those people died. There was nothing that you could have done.”

“But if I had a few more seconds -”

“The building still would have fallen and you’d be asking yourself for a few more seconds. There is nothing you or anyone else could’ve done.”

You stayed silent, more tears falling from your eyes. Bucky pulled you in for a hug as your shoulders started to shake with more sobs. “I know it doesn’t make it hurt any less, but it’s not your fault.”

“I can’t stop seeing the look they had on their faces,” you shook your head. “Everytime I try to sleep I see them and I can’t make it go away. And I want to forget but I don’t deserve to and it hurts but I don’t deserve to forget.”

“I know, I know,” Bucky said, knowing all too well what being haunted by the fear on someone’s face was like. “But it’s not your fault. You didn’t let them die, y/n. You would’ve given anything to save them, if Steve hadn’t pulled you away you would’ve died with them. You didn’t run away even though you knew you would die if you stayed. You do know that right?”

“I don’t care.”

“I don’t think you mean that,” Bucky said softly. You felt new tears fall from your eyes as you hid your face into Bucky’s chest.

“You can’t tell me that nothing could be done. You can’t tell me that innocent people were going to die and that’s the way it has to be. That isn’t fair,” you spoke through your tears.

Bucky pulled back to wipe the tears from your face and look you in the eyes. “They were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you did everything in your power to save them. It’s not your fault that you got there too late. Those HYDRA agents who destroyed the city - it’s their fault. Not yours.”

“I’m supposed to protect people,” you said as you shrugged and shook your head slightly. “If I can’t do that then what am I?”

“A person who is trying their best. You don’t always have to be everyone’s hero. You don’t have to take responsibility for everyone, that’s too much to expect of anyone. It’s not your responsibility to save everyone because you can’t. But you’ve saved so many people that would’ve died if you weren’t there. You are so important, but you have to stay alive to help more people.”

You took a shaky breath. “Those people were going to die no matter what,” you whispered, more to yourself than to Bucky. Your chest tightened again and you felt sick. “Oh my God,” you said, the acceptance of the fact brought on a new wave of emotions as your knees felt weak.

Bucky pulled you back into his chest again, rubbing a hand up and down your back. “It’s not your fault, y/n.”

“Then why does it hurt so much?” you sobbed against his chest.

“Because you have a good heart.”

You shook your head against his chest. “I don’t want one if it means it’s going to hurt this much.”

“It’s okay, y/n. It’s gonna be okay, I’ve got you.”

“Please make it stop. I don’t want it to hurt anymore.”

Bucky felt tears sting his own eyes at your pain, holding you tighter against him. He cleared his throat before saying “I can’t make it go away. But I’m here to hold you and do everything I can to make it better. I’m not going anywhere y/n.”

He held you against his chest, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m not going anywhere.”

--------

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Main Masterlist

[redrobin-detective]

Coming at you with a submit because I was thinking about Danny Phantom, and y'all, I had a fuckin' THOUGHT

I'm sure this has been discussed before, but I had a Thought and now I need to share it or my brain will combust. So. Reality Trip, right? A very fun episode, as far as I remember, other than the most painful "Status Quo is God" moment I've ever seen in a show right at the tail end of the episode. SO MUCH good character development, thrown the hell out like a sack of moldy potatoes. But you know the bit that I'm really bothered that we lost? That dawning moment of comprehension when jack and Maddie not only knew Danny's secret, but that he never trusted them with it. I mean, think about that moment! Imprisoned by Freakshow or whatever the heck his name is, and there they are, thinking about how Danny had been struggling alone with his half-ghostliness all this time, and wondering why he never thought tot ell them. Then in comes Jazz, not usually one to kick someone while they're down, but fuck it, she's had a long day, she's tired, she's out of fucks to give and she says "Oh I dunno, maybe it's because you talked about VIVISECTING HIM ON A DAILY BASIS WHY DO YOU THINK HE NEVER SAID ANYTHING" It's a golden moment, but then it just--drops off. We don't see them coping with that knowledge, that their own son was terrified of them and expected to be hated, tortured. We don't see the guilt of them realizing that they were obliviously discussing torturing and truly killing him over breakfast near every day, that he had to look at them from the wrong end of a gun they were carrying more than once. It gets ignored by the episode, right to the end, when they offer their love and acceptance, and Danny is delighted, right before he destroys near everyone's memories of the whole fiasco. He could have left his parent's alone, had that support and love he desperately needed, but he didn't. And if we look for an excuse other than "The writers didn't want to change or develop anything"--why would he do that? Because he still didn't trust them? Because he lived with that fear for so long that, though he intellectually knew they loved him and wanted to help him in spite of his ghost-ness, he emotionally couldn't accept that fact? Now, on to my fucking THOUGHT.

Suppose their memories didn't quite fade, not completely. Maybe, when Danny used the Infinity Gauntlet or whatever, he wiped the memories of everyone but himself, his friends, his sister--but, for his parents, some small, quiet part of his subconscious desperately wanted that acceptance still, and the memory wipe ended up impermanent. Everything went back to normal, but Jack and Maddie were left with the odd sense that something was...off. A lack of interest in hunting Phantom. Horrible guilt when looking their son in the eyes. A sudden, subtle aversion to touching their ecto-weaponry. And as the days go by, their memories would trickle back in, until they remember entire thing, right up to Danny using the gauntlet to wipe their memories. And all they can do is try not to crumble under the realization that Danny didn't feel safe enough around them to trust them with their memories intact. Even after their attempt to reach out, he was still afraid of them. It makes a horrible sort of sense, they know. They've been unintentionally, unknowingly, terrifying him for some time now. You don't get over that overnight. They don't tell Danny that they know. Not right away. But things begin to change. He gets home way too late as Fenton, tries to come up with a half-baked excuse as to what kept him from home so long. His dad looks up briefly, but turns his attention to some contraption he's busy tinkering with. (Jack caught a brief glimpse of a vicious bruise beneath the hem of Danny's shirt. He looks away. He doesn't trust himself to keep his expression under control.) Danny doesn't get the scolding he expects. His dad reaches out to ruffle his hair and gently tells him to take a shower and get some rest, he does have school tomorrow, after all. When Danny gets to bed, he finds a warm heat pack waiting for him. He assumes its from Jazz. Later, Danny brings his report card home. Middling or failing grades. He braces himself when he shows it to his mother. He's too busy looking at his feet to see the flicker in Maddie's expression, something pained, that lasts all of a second before fading into something resembling a gentle sternness. She simply suggests avenues for him to try if he's having trouble with the material.

And it goes on, over the weeks. Phantom spots Jack and Maddie at his fights, sometimes. But they don't fight him. They barely look at him. He doesn't notice right away, but slowly, they stop using ecto-guns. Soon the really dangerous weaponry is hidden away in lockers, reserved only for really bad circumstances. The surgical tools are completely gone. They stop talking about dissection altogether. Danny, as distracted as he is by his obligations, doesn't notice right away. But eventually, notice he does.

[sukirichi]

— the other side

request:  BRUH YOUR SWIMSUIT SHOPPING WITH JJK IS GOD LEVEL 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫 I think you wrote Gojo perfectly 🥺 Could I pretty please request FaceTime sex with Gojo 🤩 Like maybe Gojo’s away on a mission and he really misses reader and he’s needy so he calls her and has her put the phone down in front of her and tells her what to do 😳

warnings: nsfw, mutual masturbation, facetime sex, dirty talk (+unedited fic)

note: i actually wasn’t sure if i could write this well since i’m not the best at dialogue, but i tried my best and i hope you like it anon! thank you for the request! dinner has been served!

masterlist ! 

Ruined. He’s absolutely ruined you.

You pull your fingers out of your clenching hole, your cheeks sweaty as you pant against your pillow. Hole clenching around nothing at the sudden emptiness, your chest heaves up and down with the gnawing dissatisfaction that you could no longer cum yourself; could no longer feel pleased unless it’s Gojo doing it for you.

Before you know it, a single tear flows down until it collects besides your lips. Hands rubbing against your tired eyes, you sigh at the clock blaring 2:19 AM mockingly at you.

It’s two in the fucking morning – and you haven’t cum ever since Gojo left for work.

Your fingers just wasn’t enough; could never be enough compared to his magical tongue and long dick that absolutely drives you into with so much need, large hands grappling against your soft mounds for leverage while he pounds himself into you.

It’s not the same without him. It’s been four long days ever since Gojo left for work; four torturous days that you’ve done everything you could to get off, only to keep failing after hours of humping your pillow or doing all the work with the cute pink dildo you got just for days he wouldn’t be around. It never ends well. Your wrist would only cramp or your thighs would ache afterwards, but you never came.

Perhaps that’s one of the consequences of being greedy and wanting to keep Gojo Satoru all to yourself. In return, he’s also stolen you of the privilege of fucking yourself.

Arm sprawled over your face, your breathing begins to regulate. Your legs are still wide open, arousal leaking from your disappointed cunt. You were ready, so ready for Gojo to come home and just fuck you silly.

You hate yourself for being this way, hate that your lips are trembling because you miss him so much and you’re actually crying all because you feel so empty without him buried within you.

It’s stupid, so fucking stupid, but you can’t help it.

You turn around to your side and hug his pillow closer to your body, breathing in his scent. It helps to calm you down a bit and even reassures you you’re not really alone; he’d come back in a few days and you’ll have him all to yourself again.

It’s been a long day, and the days just keep stretching over with the fact you’ve pretty much masturbated everywhere but still never got to come. A wave of exhaustion washes over you, your eyelids growing heavy at the same time you wrap one leg around Gojo’s pillow. His musky scent still remains, almost mocking that he’s never really away from you, but the dull aching deep within your pussy says otherwise.

You’re so helpless without him.

Just as you’re about to gaze off into to dreamland, your phone blares from your bedside table. You don’t waste another second before scrambling off the bed to get it, nearly falling off if you hadn’t grasped on to the sheets hard enough.

Gojo’s contact name of baby with a heart emoji flashes on the screen. Out of reflex, your entire body responds. Palms sweaty, lips puckered, pussy fluttering and nipples peaking – it’s embarrassing how your body reacts to him strongly. If he was here and he saw the way you open yourself up to him, Gojo would laugh while knuckle deep in you, teasing that you’re so eager for him and he hasn’t even done anything yet.

You quickly swipe right to answer, the grin on your face large and beaming when his handsome face greets you. “Satoru,” you smile, leaning back on the pillows to make yourself comfortable. “I missed you.”

There’s no lie about that. He’s still so handsome with one arm propped underneath him, hair down in messy strands and his eyes free from the blindfold, allowing you to witness the magic that pooled within that beauty. Satoru is now wearing a plain white shirt in exchange of his usual dark uniform, his bicep flexing under his weight, but you’re more focused on how his eyes crinkle once he finally saw your pretty face.

You could tell he misses you just the same.

“Hey, baby,” he coos through the call, and his low, husky voice immediately sends chill down your spine. The cold air bites at your exposed cunt and you shudder; you already know you’re wet again. It’s still ‘yesterday’ where he’s at, meaning that he’d have to leave for work after three hours or so as the sun begins to rise, while you’d still be slumbering at peace.

Or at least, sleep as comfortably as you could with countless failed orgasms.

“I missed you too,” Satoru sighs. His eyes droop for a moment, and he sees the way you open your lips, ready to tell him to get some more rest instead of calling you. Satoru only presses a finger to his lips, eyes glinting playfully at your awaiting gaze. “I’m fine, baby, don’t worry about me. I just needed to hear your voice.”

Your heart skips a beat at that. You’ve always known that Satoru is flirty, and even though he isn’t exactly being too flirty right now, the mere thought of him wanting to hear your voice before he sleeps does wondrous leaps to your wavering heart.

“Me too,” you confess in a small voice, tugging up the sheets under the chin as you grow more and more shy with each passing second. “It hasn’t been the same without you, Toru. I can’t…I can’t be myself when you’re not here.”

Satoru, despite being an absolute dumb fuck all the time, isn’t stupid when it comes to that tone of your voice. He nods once and presses the phone closer to his face, voice low and serious. “What’s wrong, baby? Do you want to talk to me about it?”

Yes and no. You seriously debate whether it’s best to tell him that you can’t cum without him, simply because he’s always so much better and feels perfect compared to your nimble fingers that barely even stretch you. On the other side, you don’t want to keep him up too late, plus phone sex… well, you haven’t really done it before. Just imagining showing yourself bare to Satoru through the camera already makes your body feel warmer than it already it is. He’s seen you naked hundred of times before, but the idea that he could record it…

You swallow audibly and look away from him. Your cunt is already gushing as you imagine Satoru recording the way you lose yourself as he buries his cock into your hilt, but it’s a different thing if you could both masturbate to the thought of each other.

“Babe,” Satoru cuts off your train of thoughts, “You feel frustrated too, don’t you? I’ve never hated my fist as much as I do now.”

Your head snaps to his direction so fast Satoru laughs at your crazed reaction, and the sound only increases when you start babbling to him. “Y-you,” you shake your head in disbelief, “You too? You can’t cum too? I mean, I’ve done everything I could, I even got a dildo but it’s not enough, Toru, it’s never enough, I need you so bad.”

You don’t care that you’re whining at this point. Satoru doesn’t give a damn either because he’s already palming his erection through his sweatpants from the other side of the world, jaw clenching as he imagines you doing lewd things without him.

“Aw, my poor baby,” he teases you, making you pout and hide under the sheets with only your eyes peeking through. “It’s okay, I’ve got you now,” his voice drops an octave lower, eyes darkening as lust consumes both your body. “Just be a good girl and follow my instructions, okay? I’ll make you feel good. We’ll make each other feel good. It’ll feel like I never left, okay?”

“O-okay,” you nod shakily, still unsure of what to do. “Is there-?”

“Yeah,” Satoru grunts as he whips his cock free from his confines, hips jutting forward now that his hand is wrapped around it. He sighs at the relief of finally getting his chance to cum. He understands your situation; his cock won’t even come close to the warmth of your tight pussy clenching on him. “Show me yourself, pretty girl. Show me those pretty pink lips of yours,” Satoru places his phone somewhere on the table near his bed, pushing his sweatpants down until his cock slaps against his underbelly, the tip red and leaking.

You gasp at how lewd he looks. The sheets are absolutely crumpled beneath him, and you clench your thighs at the sight of Satoru wrapping his hands around his large, angry cock with his eyes staring straight directly at the camera.

“Come on, baby, don’t be shy,” he rasps, “I want to see you, want to hear you. You’ll let me hear those beautiful moans, won’t you?”

When his hups jut forward to meet the tight grip of his hands, something inside you snaps. Breath shaky and legs trembling, you throw your sheets off to the side and get your phone stand before setting it up at your bedside table, making sure to tilt the camera downwards before you lean back onto the bed. You’re already naked underneath Satoru’s large shirt, and it doesn’t take much as you spread your legs eagerly for him, using two lips to spread your lips open even without his command.

Satoru groans at your arousal leaking down the sheets and making a mess. He pumps himself harder, smirking at how your heavy breathing is all he could hear. “So fucking pretty,” he praises, “Now put two fingers in your pussy for me, baby girl. Stretch yourself open so I can see how much you miss my cock.”

Obedient as ever, you do as you’re told, letting out a shuddered moan when your two fingers go past your walls without resistance. You’re wet, so fucking wet for him, but you want him. “Satoru,” you whine, pushing your fingers deeper and deeper and pulling them out for friction. Your walls clench around your digits and you start imagining that it’s his long fingers buried into you this time; getting off to his image and relishing in how Satoru is moaning your name. “Miss you baby,” you cry out, hands trailing up to squeeze your nipples. “I want you so bad.”

“Me too, baby, me too,” the sound of Satoru’s slick running up and down his shaft, along with his low groans, are like music to your ears. Your moan grows louder when you open your eyes and see that his muscles are flexing as he fucks his hand eagerly, his gaze focused on the way you’re shuddering around your own digits. “Another one. Add another one.”

Shakily, you add another one, your head falling back at the welcomed intrusion. It’s still not enough, but it’ll do for now.

You just imagine that it’s his cock inside you instead, each vein prominent as the ridges of your wall hug him completely. Satoru replaces his hand with your pussy as well, that the fist running down his dick is you bouncing on his cock instead. He can already picture the way your breasts bounce in front of him and Satoru shudders, “Tits,” he growls, “I want to see your fucking tits. Want to feel them on my hands,” Satoru chuckles at how eagerly you lift your shirt up to show him the beaded nipples, teeth biting down on the material with your hands still knuckle-deep in your pussy.

“Fuck, you’re always so pretty, babe.”

“Miss you,” you keep crying out, words muffled through the shirt you’re biting. You pinch your nipple at the same time you rapidly finger yourself, your pussy squelching and the sounds pornographic as it echoes all the way to Satoru’s phone. You miss him so fucking much that it’s unreal. There’s no more self control when your back hits the bed, hips lifting off the bed and giving Satoru a clearer view of your juices dripping down your ass.

Satoru can’t resist the way his balls tighten, desperate to have you right next to him so he can fuck your brains out already. He wishes he could come home and be in your warmth, be in your embrace, but he’s still got curses to kill that fucking you would just have to wait much to both parties’ displeasure.

Sweat is beading down his forehead as he watches you thrash around your bed, his cock only growing harder and a low growl emanating from his throat when you keep moaning satoru, satoru, satoru, I love you so fucking much.

“I love you too,” he manages to say in shaky breaths. “You’re so perfect for me – fuck.”

You push yourself off the edge by pulling your lips aside and pinch at your clit. At that, your back arches off the bed, making your fingers dig deeper into you and for a split second, you manage to hit your g-spot. Satoru can tell you’re close by the way your legs spasm and he encourages you, spitting down his cock as he pumps his fist around his length almost angrily.

“That’s good, baby, keep going, keep going,” his teeth clenches when you nod, tears falling down your pretty cheeks. “Want to fuck you so good – I’d have you screaming around my neck while I take you from behind and shove your face down the pillow,” you moan in response, the sound high pitched and almost whiny. Satoru chuckles before he cuts himself off with a hiss, his balls tightening and his cock throbbing already. “Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? You want me to fuck your ass when I get home?”

“Yes, yes, please,” your belly tightens at the thought of Satoru stretching your tight hole, even better if he pulls at your hair while his hips slam at the flesh of your ass.

Rubbing your clit fervently, Satoru’s name comes out as a broken cry as your orgasm chokes you. The tears are staining your cheeks the same way your cum is making a mess on the sheets, and you grind down harder on the sheets, scissoring yourself just to extend your orgasm.

“Satoru,” you whine, “Fuckkk.”

“I’m close, baby, I’m-” Satoru falls forward when his cock shoots out thick ropes of cum, some of them landing on his abdomen and one sticks to his chin. Your pupils blow wide with lust as you shudder around your fingers while riding down your high, in disbelief that Satoru is cumming so much.

He’s shameless as he continues thrusting into his fists. You’re worried he would overuse his strength and beat his cock to death, but Satoru only chuckles as he keeps pumping his cock, his cum overflowing and pooling down his thick thighs.

“Shit,” he mumbles to himself, falling in the same state as you when he drops down on the bed. His dick begins to turn limp but it’s still twitching, turning a dark shade of pink as he beats his dick almost lazily the time. The both of you take a moment to breathe at the orgasm; not as mind blowing as the ones you’d get if he was there rutting into you instead, but because he’s there, you’re still left with the aftershocks of pleasure.

Wiping the arousal left on your hands on your shirt, you grab your phone and fall into your pillows, cheeks squished and eyelashes fluttering slowly. “Toru,” you call out softly, “You asleep?”

“I want to come home already,” is all he says. He’s still half-passed out in his bed and you laugh, rubbing your thighs together and grimacing when it starts to stick together from your cum. Glancing at Satoru’s form, you dash to the bath to clean yourself up by washing away the cum, coming back to see that Satoru was also in the middle of cleaning his cum with napkins.

“Facetime sex,” he laughs to himself with a shake of his head, mirroring your form by langind on his pillows. He looks absolutely adorable with his lips puckered out like that, azure blue eyes drooping close. “I miss you, babe. I promise when I come home I’m going to fuck you endless.”

You chuckle at his words, wondering how he’s able to say such suggestive things when he’s seconds away from passing out due to exhaustion. Your eyelids grow heavy as well, and along with the light blanket of satisfaction and post-orgasm bliss, the only thing that wouldn’t make this a good night of sleep is the fact Satoru isn’t next to you. Nevertheless, you’re grateful that Satoru took the time to call you despite his busy schedule.

Your heart flutters when Satoru lazily calls you baby, mumbling on and on about how much he misses you. Now that he’s come down from his high, he’s reverting into his big baby self.

His eyes are closed and he’s burying himself deeper into his pillows. You’re about to say goodbye when Satoru lightly snores from the other line, a smile tugging at your lips when you see that he’s now blissfully asleep. Wishing that you could run your hands through his hair, at least, you kiss the screen in the hopes it’d reach him at least metaphorically.

“Sleep well, my love,” you whisper before swiping left to end the call.

Even through the other end of the line, on the other side of the world, Satoru’s worries and exhaustion are washed away with the love you send him.

[luimagines]

First Kiss! Part 2

Masterlist

Part 1

Part 2 will include Sky, Legend and Time

Content under the cut!

Sky

Walking through the town was something mundane and simple.

Walking through town hand in hand with your boyfriend Sky was comforting, a journey and a delight.

You always seemed to see things differently when he was around and you’re not sure why but walking with him always made things look brighter, happier, more enjoyable. You never wanted it to end.  

The two of you turned into the town square and watched the others of the group disperse into the natural inclinations for civilization. You laughed and leaned against Sky as they went away, the two of you not having a destination in mind.

“I don’t actually want to do anything right now.” Sky admitted as you walk. “Is there something you had in mind or can we go?”

You hum and think for a moment and realize that there’s not much you think the town can offer you at the moment that would be worth staying and shake your head. “Nope. I’m good.”

Sky smiled and begins to drag you along to the outer rings of the place, making random turns at random times just trying to create distance no matter how imaginary.

“I thought we were leaving.” You snort and stop in your tracks, keeping Sky from moving forward.

Sky blushes a little and uses his other hand to scratch the back of his head. “I realized we would need to check in with someone and I didn’t know where any of them went. So-”

“So we can’t leave because someone could go looking for us?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Yeah...”

You snort and cover your mouth with your free hand. “I should have known.”

“What?”

“You’re too much of a good boy to just ditch people.” You grin and tilt your head. ”Which is cute but I should have known there’s no way you’re a bad boy, even for as something as trivial as knowing where we are.”

You shake your head good naturedly and feel Sky get closer. “Honestly I should have-”

Sky gets into your personal space and the close proximity stuns you into silence.

Sky raises an eyebrow and leans even closer. “I can be a bad boy, if I wanted to.”

The air suddenly feels charged and while you’re not sure with what, you somehow manage to get your tongue working again to shape the words you need to say. “No offence dear, but I doubt that.”

Sky leans in and you lean back to gain some space, less he collide with your face only to feel your back collide with a wall behind you.

You’re trapped. 

You gulp and look up into Sky’s eyes with confusion, only marginally intimidated by his actions.

Sky smirks and you feel a blush cover your face as you bite your lip. You look down out of embarrassment and try to figure out what’s going on with your heart at the same time. Sky finally lets go of your hand and brings his arm over your head to rest his weight on it, his other hand coming up to put a finger under your chin, lifting it just a little higher for you to properly look him in the eyes.

The action combined with the somewhat devilish look on his face and his action have you go weak in the knees and you press yourself deeper into the wall for some semblance of stability.

Sky looks you up and down at the sight and tilts his head, the smirk ever present.

He’s enjoying this.

Your heart is pounding, all you seem to hear is your blood rushing in your ears and your whole body feel too warm and ice cold at the same time.

Sky leans into your face and you can feel his breath on your cheeks as he places little butterfly kisses against you. He brushing his nose against yours on accident but it fails to feel that way. If anything it makes the moment more intimate and charges something in you.

The little kisses he leaves on your face are a kind of sweet torture you’re not sure you can bare for any longer.

You gulp and flutter yours eyes open- not sure when you closed and gasp for a breath. “Oh my god, kiss me.”

Sky stills and you think you might have pushed something just before he angles himself in front of you again and presses his lips against yours.

Your close your eyes and lose yourself in the feeling.

Your hands travel up his check and rest on his shoulders before closing in by his collar bone and snaking behind his head to tangle themselves in his hair.

Sky keeps his arm on the wall but uses his other hand to tilt your head even higher, pushing himself against you as he kisses you deeper.

A loud cough has the two of you jumping away from each other and you can’t help feeling a little pissed that someone interrupted your moment.

There stands Time, a smirk and knowing look in his eye. “Pardon the interruption, but I believe I was tasked to bring Sky to Warrior for a consultation. That is.... unless you’re busy.”

Sky coughs and steps away from you. “No, I... I can go.”

You glare at Time, not at all subtle in your intentional message you’re trying to send.

Time holds back his snickers... barely. “Good. I’ll him know you’re on your way.”

Sky blushes at being caught and laughs a bit when he sees you. “We’ll continue later.”

You blink and only then feel a little shame at also being caught- or it shame for how much you enjoyed it.

You nod at Sky and watch him- his phantom touch still on you.

You collapse against the wall and sigh.

That was not what you were expecting.

Legend

Running.

You and Legend were running through the castle trying to lose the tail of the guards that have found out that you two were very much not supposed to be there. Your party clothes billowed behind you and your steps echoed through the mostly empty hallways, more of them thundering behind you as more guards joined the cause.

“This is the last time I follow you blindly, Link.” You hiss and nearly trip over yourself.

Legend spins with little to no trouble at all and grabs your shoulder, helping you get back onto your feet and throwing you in front of him.

“It’s not like I asked for this.” Legend hisses back to you and pushes you to keep running through the hallways.

You want to stop and breath and leave but you’re lost and Legend knows this place better than you do so you’re stuck with him if you want to survive and not get caught.

Without waring Legend pulls you into a sharp turn and closes a door you didn’t notice behind you only stopping at the last moment to not slam it and instead rest it gently, closing even the small gold threaded curtain over the little peep window. 

Around you is a somewhat closed off spiral stair case and another door in front of you that leads into another unknown area but you can hear people.

You’re still not safe but no one seems to have heard you come in just yet.

“This must be one of the servant stairwells.” Legend says as he pants, resting his hands on his knees. You had though that when Legend had first appeared next to you in his finery that he was very handsome. And even when he’s all disheveled and exhausted, you still find yourself appreciating how every curve and sharp angle is accentuated by the outfit.

But this isn’t the time for that.

“Can we get out through here?” You ask, leaning up against the wall. there’s not  a lot of space between you and Legend where you stand but you’re too tired to compute it at the moment.

“Not without getting seen by more people.” Legend sighs. “We’ll just wait for the guards to pass and then head out the other way.”

You nod and continue to pant, placing your hand over your heart as if that would stop it from beating out of your chest.

Legend takes a few more breaths and walks over to stand next to you and places his weight against the wall as well. He opens his mouth to say something before abruptly shutting it with a click and forcing you to duck down as well when you hear the guards that were chasing you just outside the door that hide you from their gaze.

You stop breathing entirely, leaning closer to Legend who places himself between you and door.

You wait.

They leave.

The two of you nearly collapse into each other when you hear them take their leave to continue their search for you somewhere else.

You both stand up again and Legend reaches for the door.

Someone begins coming down the stairs.

Your eyes widen, body ready to run out the door but you’re being pressed against the wall with Legend on top of you before you can think of moving a muscle. 

Legend presses his lips against yours and traps your body there with his own. He attempts to coax a response out of you as the steps continue to descend, his hand burring itself into your hair as the other pulls you closer by your hip.

Your eyes flutter close and your hands come up to cradle his face, kissing him back like you’ve been wanting to do the entire night.

Legend groans a little as he deepens the kiss and angles you closer to his body.

You begin running your hands all over him, trying to map out his curves and angles that you’ve eyeing the entire night with your hands.

Legend responds favorably and even bites your lip when you refuse to let him kiss you even deeper.

“UM!” A voice squeaks. “My apologies but uh... you can’t be here.”

You break away and Legend turns around to address the poor maid that had caught you two.

“Sorry.” He flushes and waves her away. “We’ll be on our way. We didn’t know.”

You swear you blush all the way to your feet and can’t even bring yourself to look the poor girl in the eye as you both leave.

Legend subtly looks around for anyone who might still looking for you even you both leave and you both calmly leave the stairwell and the maid and begin to make your way out of the castle.

You hand finds its way to your mouth, the phantom touch of his lips on yours still tingling in the present moment because of it.

“I’m sorry.” Legend blurts in the quiet moment, his face a deep red as he looks down. “I panicked... but that doesn’t make that ok. It was the heat of the moment but... I probably could have found another solution or maybe we could have just ran.”

You bite your lip and hold your hands behind your back. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“I just assaulted you-”

“You’re a good kisser-”

You both stop in your tracks and stare at each other wide eyed.

“What did you just say?” You speak at the same time.

You gulp and shake your head. ”I didn’t think you... If I didn’t want you to...Um...” You look away first and try to hide behind your hair. “I wanted to kiss you all night, so.... I’m not complaining.” 

“You- you did?”

You blush deeper and try to walk away from him as you talk, as if that would negate how he would still be able to hear you even now that you’re both outside. “For awhile now actually, but.... uh... you look very handsome like that, so the urge was stronger than usual.”

Legend doesn’t say anything for a while but you keep walking, trying to get away from the awkwardness Your friendship is going to change after this night and you can feel it. You just don’t want to acknowledge it.

It was a good kiss.

Footsteps begin thundering behind you and you turn around to see what’s got Legend in a panic before he tackles you to the ground- ruining your party clothes in the dirt before trapping your lips against his again.

He lifts himself off of you as he pants. “You can’t just say that and then leave.”

“I wasn’t trying-”

“You look gorgeous tonight, it was so hard to control myself.”  He kisses you again.

You blink and stare into his eyes when he lifts himself off of you for the second time, letting a moment of silence over you before you take a breath. “Kiss me again.”

He grins and leans down.

If this is the change to your relationship, let it be known that you’re certainly not complaining.

Time

You sigh and watch the sun set just beyond the mountains in the west.

Every bone in your body felt tired and sore and there was nothing else that you wanted to do. You thought that one more person wanted to talk to you today you were going to lose it.

Time comes to sit next to you and puts a hand on your shoulder. He leans over to look in your eyes before he nods to himself and shifts his weight so that he sits with his front to your side.

Gently he coaxes you to move around also and you follow his lead without much question.

As soon as you’re with your back to him, his hands comes to rest on your shoulder and begin to knead.

You almost groan with the immediate pleasure and relief it brings you but the others are still nearby and you don’t want to give them any ideas.

You have no idea how he does it but Link always seem to know what you need without you saying anything and even before you even know. 

You sigh and try to relax even further under his touch.

Time continues with his massage and travels all over your shoulders, upper back and neck.

Your eyes close and you lean back after a few minutes of this, right into Time’s lap. “Thank you.” You say and smile more genuinely toward him. “You didn’t have to but I feel better now.” 

“Good.” He says and plays with the hair that falls over his leg. “You looked tense.”

“Everything was sore and not happy with me.” You blinked your eyes open and look up into his. “That felt nice.”

“Well you’re welcome.” He smiles back.

You grin and sit up again much to the protest of the rest of your muscles. With a small shimmy, you turn around and hop up to place a little kiss on Time’s cheek before you lose your nerve. “Payment.”

You don’t know where your boldness comes from but you’re not so shameless as to kiss Time fully while the whole group is very much nearby.

Time stills completely before he stands up after you.

You attempt to walk away and go back to the group before he can say anything but he catches your hand and pulls you back with a spin, trapping you with an arm behind your back and your chest against his.

You blush at the close proximity and try to pull away. “Time, the boys-”

Time lets go of the hand behind your back to free that up but he instead rests his hands on your waist and pulls you flush against him. “What about them? I believe that if that was the payment that you’re a little short on the change.”

He’s smirking when he says this. 

He leans down and brushes his nose against yours. “If you’re ok with it that is.”

You gulp and stare at him wide eyed. You bite your lip in thought and you can see Time glance down at the subtle movement.

You grin and push yourself into him, closing the distance between you two with more vigor than either of you expected. The force pushes Time back a step and you throw your arms around him to stabilize yourself. 

He kisses you back with as much passion as you want to believe he’s been holding back. You start to crumble from under him and he follows you down when your knees fail you, bending over to keep kissing you, to kiss you deeper and to pull you closer even if you’re bent in half at this point.

You don’t care. 

Together, you lose yourselves in each other and try to memories each factor of him.

The broadness of his chest, the way his toned arms hold you, the way his lips move against you and your skin and how he moves from your lips to your neck-

“Oh for crying out loud-  GET A ROOM!” Legend yells from across the camp and you pull away from time in shock.

Time calmly looks over and pulls you back on to your feet again. “Do you see one?”

“Time.” You whisper yell and smack his arm a little, your blush on your face clear as day even as the sun sets beyond the horizon.

He smirks and turns back to you, capturing one more kiss from you before he steps away with a low and frankly dangerous kind of chuckle. “Later.”

“Later?” You looks after him and cover you lips with your finger tips. “What do you mean by later?”

Time doesn’t turn around to answer you ad you don’t know if you’re excited for it or too embarrassed at the blatant wanton behavior of yours to even think beyond anything than going to bed and starting the next day.

Who are you kidding?

How are you going to sleep when time has frankly put your mind on over drive that that?

It’s going to be a long night.

Part 3

[kodzukyan]

better with you (until it kills me)

notes: it's always missing baji hours here </3 fluff, angst; alternative ending: always, always you

summary: four times you think you are in love with baji keisuke, and the one time you tell him.

wc: 3.7k

You're reasonably sure the only reason he chooses you to pair up with for the Japanese literature project is that you sit next to him, but it surprises you all the same. You don't think you have much of a presence in class, but you don't think you can say the same about your new partner, Baji Keisuke.

His slicked-back ponytail and thick frames make his presence seem like a poindexter, but there's something about his bruised knuckles and his fierce aura that makes him feel ferocious. You've noticed him hang out with the school delinquent on multiple occasions. You also think you've seen him laugh wildly as he beats up some of the local thugs who crowded around the said delinquent he's friends with.

He isn't who you expect him to be at first glance, and that intrigues you more than you like to admit. You're too nervous to openly ask, so you settle for stealing glances at him from the corner of your eyes.

So, when he really decides on you and submits the partner form, you don't know what to think.

In the time that you two are partners, you've discovered a couple of things about him. First, his handwriting and kanji absolutely suck. Despite that, he writes a letter addressed to someone named Kazutora every week without fail. As if that isn't endearing enough, it gets even more so when he pouts at the complex characters that he often gets wrong and the inevitable smile that breaks out whenever you show him how to write them correctly.

("Oh, thanks! I would probably fail my kanji tests without you and Chifuyu. Kazutora probably can't even understand what I'm saying," he laughs rambunctiously.)

Second, he's genuinely an unexpectedly good partner in terms of being punctual about meeting up. However, despite being on time, there is little progress on the project. Your work times often end up in discussions about random life topics rather than the project itself.

(“Do you like cats?” he asks out of the blue one day, head on the table and books already forgotten.

“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” you humor him because you’re also tired of researching Japanese literature.

“Wanna see my cats? They’re all strays,” he sits up suddenly, eyes lit and smile bright.

You nod, and he proceeds to take out his phone to show you pictures of his cats. You note his lock-screen is a picture of all his cats, and his camera roll is just full of his friends and mom, motorcycles, and the said cats. With shining eyes full of excitement, he tells you their names and their personalities in detail.

"Do you think cats recognize their names but choose to ignore us whenever we call them?" he resumes the conversation after he finishes showing you his gallery. He leans back as he balances his pencil on top of his pursed lips.

"Maybe. Depends on the cat? Maybe they just hate you?" you mimic his pose. You suppose thirty minutes of work is enough progress for the day.

"Ouch," he grimaces as if it shatters him directly in the heart.)

Third, sometimes he comes with his hair down and without his glances, with stains on his clothes that he claims are ketchup, despite it not smelling like that at all.

("Uh, hey, sorry I'm late today," he offers sheepishly as he runs a hand through his unbound hair.

"Oh, it's okay," you finally say after you take in his shaggy appearance. You try not to think about how handsome he is despite the bruises forming on his face. "Are you… okay?"

"All good! The ketchup bottle just randomly exploded," he laughs nervously and awkwardly. "Anyways!! The project!!"

You stare at him dubiously but nod anyway. "Okay, if you say so…")

Fourth, he has an extremely charming smile, especially when his fangs are in full display. To some, it may look fierce and menacing; to you, it looks cute, especially when his eyes are always brimming with life and his laugh is full of vitality.

More often than not you catch yourself staring at him because he's just so intriguing.

You try to ignore your racing heart when your stolen glances become shared ones, and he flashes you a grin softer than the smiles you've seen.

-----

“Uh, hi.” You say shyly as you enter through Baji’s window. It’s not frequently you seek out Baji at his own home, especially through the window he keeps open almost exclusively for stray cats to seek shelter.

“What the fuck?” Baji drops the stray cat he's cuddling as you give a slight wave, causing the cat to meow loudly at the sudden change in demeanor.

“Sorry to drop by unannounced. I, uh, just wanted some company.”

You feel vanishingly small as you awkwardly laugh and piece together some words that make sense. Home is supposed to be full of warmth, but your home is more of a house with people than a home with love. It’s a truth you’ve long accepted, but some days, it feels a little extra cold.

Therefore, you run, and somehow you end up here, in the comforts of Baji’s room.

Maybe you are currently a stray cat, feeling a little more lost than found. Maybe you find that he’s the sort of comfort that warms you a little when your heart feels heavy. Maybe you are just a little bit in like with him, and he is the first person you want to see whenever you’re feeling down.

The room is silent aside from the soft paps of cats moving around and the periodic meow. Then, he pats the spot next to him, and you make your way there. As soon as you sit down, he hands you a cat.

“Here, hold her. She’s nice,” he comments as he places the calico cat he dropped earlier in your lap, petting her as she adjusts to her new position on you.

She narrows her eyes and softly purrs in your lap as Baji pets her, and this makes you feel more in the moment than in your head like you’ve been. Your initial baffle turns into a smile as she purrs louder when you pet her, and just like that, you feel a little more found than lost.

You lean on his shoulder as you continue petting the calico cat in your lap. You keep your eyes on her as she climbs onto his lap and nuzzles him in an attempt to hide your burning cheeks and your drumming heart from your proximity.

“Thanks for giving me a home when I don’t want to be in my own,” you tell him softly, airly, almost as if you’re letting him in on a secret.

He stops playing with the cats for a moment and pauses. Feeling his intense stare, you peek through your lashes up at him. His broad grin and sharp canines are in full display, and his smile looks a little more boyish than wild. He tousles your hair as he laughs aloud boisterously before he props his head on top of yours.

“You’ll always have a home here.”

-----

It all started when a group of thugs looked at you inappropriately and made some comments that made you uncomfortable. You grip the ends of his sleeve just a little harder and press yourself behind him, trying to make yourself impossibly small. Baji, seeing your small form and downcast eyes, removes your hand from his sleeve and places it in his hand. Knowing Baji and him knowing you and your every mood, he does not stand for it. He simply flashes you a reassuring grin before he squeezes your hand and runs straight at them.

He throws the first punch, and you could just stand there in shock as he pummels through them and beats them up. He has cuts and bruises everywhere, and you’re certain he’s taken on a few nasty hits on his ribs. Though you’re equally confident that these thugs are absolutely 100% in worse shape than he is.

“Oh my god,” you sob frantically as Baji wobbles back to you, ferocious smile on his face softens as he sees you. He pats your head when he notes your teary eyes. You’re not even sure when you start crying, but the tears just don’t seem to stop. “Are you okay? Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Are you -”

He clutches your tear-stained face in his hands, “Look at me.”

Your eyes meet his, but you can barely see him over your tears as you continue your incoherent rambling.

“Hey,” he tries once more, voice more frantic as he struggles to find words. He finally just squishes your cheeks and yells, “Do you think I care about anything else but you right now?”

Your eyes widen, and the tears forming fall freely onto his hands. Oh, oh, oh, you think to yourself as your beating heart rapidly thumps at an exponential speed, maybe he’s also falling. When you meet his steady gray eyes, the shocking realization that maybe you’re not the only one dumb and possibly in love stops your tears.

He sighs in relief when your tears gradually stop, and as if all the tiredness accumulated in his body hit him all at once, he falls down onto the ground.

You try to catch him as best as you can, and with the combined effort of mostly himself and partially you, he breaks his fall. He lays sprawled out on the ground. After you check for wounds and find none too serious, you sit with your knees tucked under you by where he lays and moves his head onto your lap.

All around you are the battered bodies of the thugs you’ve encountered, but all you can see at the moment is him and his gray eyes that disappear into crescent moons as he flashes you a grin. He’s too tired to move, but he raises a fist up into the air in victory anyway.

“I got you.”

-----

"Wanna go on a ride?" he texts you.

It’s almost midnight when he texts you, and it’s probably way past when you should stay up. But your heart flutters at the thought of adventure, at the thought of him, so you quickly respond, “Okay, but be quiet! Don't wake my parents up again, stinky!!!”

You can already imagine his sheepish smile when he sends you a "that was once!!! my bad" back.

After sending him a quick ":p", you silently put on some clothes more fitting to go out than your pajamas. The sound of his motorcycle announces his greater-than-life presence long before his text does. Grabbing two scrunchies, you sneak out your window.

He only greets you with a goofy smile and a wave, hair free-flowing in the wind. Under the moonlight, his gray eyes twinkle with vigor and youth. It knocks the air out of your lungs as you glance at him because he's beautiful, ethereal, and alive. He smiles smugly when he catches your stare, but he holds his hand out for you to take.

"Hi," you whisper under the twinkling stars as you put your hand in his.

"Hey," he whispers back as he curls his fingers around your hand before adjusting to interlace your fingers together.

The quietness and intimacy of this moment drown out the world - the sound of cars driving by, of cicadas flying, of the world standing still. The only thing keeping you from floating is his hand and the sound of your heartbeat.

"I got you a hair tie." You offer softly with an equally soft smile, eyes pointing to the scrunchies on your wrist.

"I got you a hoodie," he responds as he nods to his motorcycle. "Because I knew your dumb ass would, once again, forget to dress for the winds."

"I'm dressed decently enough. You, though… please tie your hair… It hurts like hell when it whips in my face," you laugh lightly.

He rolls his eyes. "That's also what you said last time before you ended up stealing my hoodie, and I ended up being cold!" he complains, but there's a certain fondness in his voice.

You only stick your tongue out childishly at him. You would rather bite your tongue than admit that you are always slightly underdressed for the occasion so he would keep giving you his hoodies.

He tugs your interlaced hand and pulls you closer, and as you stand so close to him, you think close isn't quite close enough. The two of you linger in that position for longer than what should be appropriate for friends, but you think you have been tiptoeing around that line for a while now. Your heart races, and you're sure your erratic heart is beating fast enough to generate heat to keep you warm against the cold winds.

He pulls away first, moving to grab his hoodie before he roughly puts it on you. He laughs when you complain about your ruffled hair, but as his hoodie and scent engulf you, you could only shyly smile. He takes a scrunchie despite complaining about how poofy it is. As he settles in his bike and you settle in behind him, arms tight around his waist, you think this is probably what holding the universe in your arms feels like.

He rives his bike loudly despite your warning, but you find that you could care less right now as he takes off. You are young and dumb, but the wind is running through your hair as the two of you are chasing the moon, and it makes you feel so alive. Neon lights and starlit skies blur together as he speeds through familiar roads, and the brisk winds drown out your loud laughter. It feels like you're feeling everything at once, but your head is so clear.

You think you can understand why he loves riding so much because the only thing that you can hear is your loud heartbeat, and the only thing that matters is you're living.

He finally stops at a local 24-hour diner. The moonlight shines through the window by your table. You are still feeling the wild wind in your hair, cold air on your face, and the warmth of Baji’s back on your arms. It's way past midnight now, and the yellow lights of the diner feel a little more homey than dingy. He’s munching on some fries, occasionally waving one in your face whenever he’s trying to make a point about something. As you watch the various expressions on his face, a smile makes its way to your face.

“Hey Keisuke,” you grab a fry and jab it at him in the middle of his sentence. He stops his mid-word as he stares at you, head tilting slightly and mouth still gaping. There is a particular word that you keep thinking of whenever you think of Baji, a feeling that lingers and fills your heart up. You know what it is. You think you know at least, and in moments like these when you’re just watching his goofy self munching on fries while boisterously laughing at something dumb, all you can think of is those four letters.

“You’re my best friend,” you whisper before you eat your fry. Best friend, you think, encompasses a lot of things and feelings as you stare at his childlike grin, heart fluttering and mind blanking because all you see is him. You hope he knows, hope he gets that best friend is a loose term because he is so much more.

When he meets your eyes and his gray eyes crinkle in mirth and laughter rolls off his lips, you think he does.

“I know,” he smugly nods before he drops another fry into his mouth. “I guess you’re pretty cool too.”

You stick your tongue out at him and feel a warmth in your heart that matches the pinks of his cheeks. Maybe it’s adrenaline still in your blood, maybe it’s the moment, but it makes you devious, brave even, as you lean over and chomp down on the fry he's holding.

He stares at you with his mouth wide open, looking absolutely flabbergasted and offended. “Hello? That was my last fry!”

“Sorry,” you giggle, not feeling all that sorry at all. You know he’s not truly that offended because he has that stupid grin on his face, because he’s always soft with you. A part of you does feel a little sorry when you see the small pout that arises on his face. “I’ll treat you to yakisoba later?”

He turns away from you, face still slightly sulky as he huffs silently.

“No? You don’t want yakisoba?” you ask. You still find it amusing that Baji Keisuke, the first division captain of the Toman Gang who would punch someone on the streets for no reason other than just because he feels like it, is pouting because you stole his last fry. If anyone from any rival gangs sees Baji Keisuke now, they probably wouldn’t believe this is the same person.

“Fine,” he huffs softly, “But don’t think one yakisoba is enough.”

“Then,” you begin, your heart pounding loudly in your chest as you work up the courage, “What about this?”

He turns to you in confusion, and before your courage runs out on you, you crash your lips onto his before you pull away.

“Repayment,” you mutter meekly, eyes avoiding his because you’re sure he can feel the heat radiating off your cheeks from where he’s sitting.

“Hey,” he tugs on your hand under the table. When you finally look at him, he continues, “Just one isn’t enough.”

He kisses you again.

-----

Home is supposed to be the place you come from, but you think it's more like a place you find, pieced together from scattered bits of feelings, emotions, people along the way. Somewhere along the lines, home becomes less of a place and more of a person. Your home becomes the boy with the sharp canines and long hair that gets tangled by the stray cats he keeps, the "I love you" declared loudly with kisses and the longing looks in between, the comfortable warmth of his body next to yours as you chase sunsets and live in your own infinity. Your home is Baji Keisuke and the constant image of him in your mind and the infinite pieces of him in your heart.

Infinity, though, is awfully short, you think, as you see him lay surrounded by bouquets, eyes closed in eternal slumber. He's always looked good in white, but when his tan complexion is nearly as pale as the white roses surrounding him, you think white is an awful color on him. His eyes always shine with possibilities and promises, and while you've always joked that his sleeping face is cute because he always looks so innocent, adorable even, all you want now is to see him awake.

His heroism and love for his friends are always something that you love about him, but in turn, it feels so incredibly cruel to you now. For as short as he has been in your life, he becomes pieces embedded so deeply in it that it makes you whole. You cannot imagine a world where there is no Baij, where he isn’t there to punch a hooligan on the streets or feed stray cats at night or hold you when your world is crashing. You cannot imagine a life where he isn’t here to shine a bright light in your life without his laughter and goofy personality. Suddenly the world blurs around you, and you can't breathe as droplets of water hit your clenched hands on your lap.

You hold his hands. Cold, cold, cold, when they used to be warm enough to light a fire in you. There are so many things you want to tell him, say to him, but the speech you prepare in your head drowns in silence as your voice gives out on you. All the words in your head just come out as broken sobs. You feel the sympathetic and equally broken glance of his mom as she embraces you, but all you can think about is that he won’t open his eyes.

Baji Keisuke has always been bigger than life, you think, because he becomes a part of everything in your life. There are traces of him everywhere - him with his cats on your lock-screen, the random memes he sends you at night, the little notes he leaves you written in his ugly penmanship with love. When you think of these things, you feel like your heart is breaking all over again.

People tell you to be strong, and while you want to retort because how can you when he’s gone?, you find that you cannot say a word without crying. You’re tired of crying too because your eyes are already so, so raw, but it seems like all you can do is cry. When you think you've finally run out of tears and your tears finally stop, a new batch takes over even at the slightest things that remind you of him. You feel so pathetic because you can't do anything without water leaking from your eyes, and you hate yourself for being so weak.

You tune out the somber tone of his friends and the broken tone of his mom because you don't want to accept a reality where he isn't here. But luck is never on your side because he never opens his eyes again, and you never get to tell him how much you love him. All you get are flashbacks and memories of him and emptiness in your heart and soul. You tell yourself you have to be strong and smile and live for the both of you, but you can't. Not when he isn't here, not when he isn't with you anymore. Every time you think about that fact, your heart breaks again.

"Hey, stupid," your broken sobs ring loudly in the deafening silence, "I love you."

The words you’ve wanted to tell him for so long are finally in the open, but there is no answer.

[tootiredmotel]

Electricity

Inspired by @ledzeppelinmixtape 's emoji prompt: ⛈

Read on ao3 or below / 2.3k words

It's 11pm and storming biblically when Dean and Cas's apartment goes dark.

"Great," Dean mutters under his breath. "Fan-freaking-tastic."

From somewhere else in the apartment, his roommate asks "did the power go out?"

"What do you think, sunshine?" Dean replies sarcastically.

He has a half-written essay in front of him, but he knows his old-ass computer won't last long unplugged, so he saves the document before shutting it off. He leans back in his chair, stretching for the first time in an hour and running a hand down his face. He actually needed a break from the screen, he realizes, feeling his eyes relax as he rubs them.

The steady rain and strong winds outside make an overwhelming white noise track, interrupted only by thunder that goes from faint and distant to deafening in volume. If Dean wasn't stressed out of his mind and completely exhausted right now, he might actually find this kind of nice.

"It's raining cats and mice out there," he hears Cas say, his voice now in the room.

Dean smiles, still rubbing his eyes with the backs of both his hands. "Cats and dogs, Cas."

"Right. Cats and dogs."

It’s really no use correcting him; the entire animal kingdom could be falling from the sky right now and there wouldn't be much of a difference. The winds are definitely knocking things over, and the streets will certainly be flooded come morning. Dean wonders for how long the university will cancel classes after this (if at all, the heartless bloodsuckers).

A particularly loud clap of thunder startles Dean. He drops his hands from his face and opens his eyes, expecting to see pitch black nothingness, but the room is faintly lit by the flashlight Cas is holding as he rummages through their kitchen drawers. He approaches a minute later and sets a candle down on the small table.

"Smart."

"Thank you, Dean," Cas says, sitting down opposite him. Dean smiles again, this time shaking his head.

If anyone ever asked him to mention one thing he likes about Cas, just one, he'd probably say how genuine Cas is, how he takes everything to heart and speaks from it as well. Dean said just one word, smart, a simple comment on the fact that it occurred to Cas to light a candle instead of wasting the battery of their one flashlight, and Cas genuinely thanked him for the compliment. He's just ridiculously cute in his earnestness.

Cas is trying to light the candle now, but their lighter is tricky. Despite living together in that apartment for a year and a half now Cas has never really gotten the hang of it.

"Here, let me."

Dean means to take the lighter from Cas and do it himself, he really does. That is 100% his intention as he reaches across the table. Except he sees an opportunity, and Dean Michael Winchester is nothing if not smooth.

He wraps his hand around Cas's, gently guiding his fingers until they’re placed just right, and the lighter clicks on with ease. Cas meets his eyes, smiling, and Dean can feel the slightest brush of Cas’s thumb against his hand. It’s a small gesture, but clearly deliberate, and it sends Dean’s heart into overdrive. Cas leans away, puts the lighter aside, and starts leafing through a book he brought. Dean’s heart is still racing as he watches him.

Scratch that first thing. If anyone ever asked him what’s one thing he likes about Cas? His hands. God. Neat nails, slightly calloused palms, and overall larger hands than you’d expect. Cas is an environmental science major and he wants to get a Ph.D. in botany, so of course, there’s a small garden on their fire escape. He tends to those plants every day with more gentleness and care than Dean has ever seen, and Dean loves to watch him, even though he has no idea what Cas is doing with them half the time. He just knows that not a single one of their plants have died under Cas’s care. He names them too.

His attentiveness. That’s another thing Dean might say if anyone ever asked. Cas left to visit his sister Anna last winter break. He left Dean in charge of the plants, three of which died inside the week. (For Dean’s birthday a couple of months later, Cas got him a book. How Not to Kill Your Houseplant. Dean keeps it on his nightstand.) Dean went out and bought new ones, but he knew Cas would notice the difference, and he did. He wasn’t mad at Dean though, and he appreciated the effort, and as Dean apologized profusely over and over again, Cas looked at him in the eyes oh-so-softly and told him he was forgiven.

How could Dean possibly forget? If anyone ever asked, he’d say that Cas’s eyes are one of his favorite things about him. One of his favorite things, period. Dean is absolutely mesmerized whenever Cas looks him in the eye, and the guy loves making eye contact, which means that Dean lives in a perpetual smitten daze. He has never seen that shade of blue anywhere else on this earth. Or maybe he just hasn’t been looking, content to get his fill of that blue by staring into Cas’s eyes as much as he gets to on a daily basis.

“Are you alright, Dean?”

Dean blinks himself back to reality. “Hm?”

“You seem… spaced.”

Dean is staring. He’s been staring this whole time. Shit. Crap.

“Yeah, um. Just tired.”

Mr. Smooth, everybody.

“Maybe you should go get some rest. I doubt the power will be back anytime soon.”

Castiel Milton, always looking out for you. It makes Dean melt.

“Yeah, maybe.” I wanna stay here with you, though, he thinks. Instead, because he’s pathetic, he asks “what’re you reading?”

Cas shows him the cover. How Not to Kill Your Houseplant. Dean breaks out in laughter.

“So you’re going into my room and stealing my shit now?”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t touch your Vonneguts.” Cas puts the book aside, an easy smile on his face. “Just wanted something light to pass the time.”

“You done with your homework?”

A soft yawn escapes Cas. “For now.”

“Dude, why not just go to sleep? You look exhausted.”

“Look who’s talking.”

Dean tries to deadpan him. He fails, because around Cas, it’s near impossible for him to not smile.

“Besides, I might be done but you weren’t.”

“And you wanted to keep me company.”

Cas shrugs as if to say I guess, but he does it with a knowing smile. The smile doesn’t falter as he meets Dean’s eyes, and he doesn’t look away when silence settles between them, the only sound being the stormy white noise.

Dean is sure he could drown in that blue and die happy.

Before that train of thought gets away from him again, Dean tears his gaze away and stretches. “We should really go to bed though, I’m not getting any more done tonight,” he says as he stands.

“Of course,” Cas says, but he grabs the book again.

“You not going?”

“I want to finish this chapter.”

The seriousness in his tone makes Dean smile. Again.

“Well, g’night, Cas.”

“Good night, Dean.”

Dean thinks he detects a bit of shakiness in Cas’s voice but decides that he’s probably just tired.

He gets to his room and changes into something comfortable, the first t-shirt and sweatpants he finds as he rummages in the dark. He goes to set his phone on his nightstand and crawl into bed, but in place of the book he keeps there and puts his phone on top of– the book Cas has at the moment– he finds something else.

It’s paper. It’s folded into the form of a book, like one of those youtube craft tutorials with bad music, and it's no bigger than his own palm. The cover is handwritten, and Dean immediately recognizes it as Cas's. He smiles, expecting a prank or joke of some sort, Cas knows how stressed Dean can get with the start of the semester. However, his smile falters as he reads the cover:

How to tell your best friend you’re in love with him.

With a shaky hand, Dean opens the small book. The first page is the only one with any more writing on it, and it reads:

You leave him a note and hope it’s enough.

Dean is storming out of his bedroom (no pun intended) before he knows it. He barely even feels his feet moving, too focused on the pounding in his ears and the dryness in his mouth. He doesn’t go into the living room, not yet; his feet stop at the end of the short hallway and he braces himself against the wall. The room is spinning and he can barely breathe.

“Cas?” He chokes out.

Cas puts the book back down on the table in front of him and interlocks his fingers in front of him. He doesn’t look at Dean– Cas, who makes too much eye contact – and takes a deep breath before saying “yes?”

He’s nervous.

Dean takes a step forward, still keeping one hand on the wall just in case, and holds up the note. “What is this?” he asks, because his brain is just not there with him yet.

Cas stands, still not facing Dean. “Dean, do you know what day it is?”

He’s asking this now???

“September firs–”

Oh. Oh shit.

“Cas isn’t today the–”

“The night we met. Two years ago.”

Dean feels his brain catching up now as the memory starts coming back to him. Cas helps, starting to recount that night.

“Two years ago tonight, I was leaving my night course at the university, and it was raining. Not as bad as this,” –Cas looks out the window and lightning strikes, as if on cue– “but pretty badly, and I was an inexperienced freshman without an umbrella.”

Dean remembers. He was walking Charlie to her dorm when it started drizzling, and it was pouring by the time he made it back to his car. Dean had a night shift at the gas station and was about to head there.

“Two years ago tonight,” Cas continues, “you invited me into your car to shelter me from the rain.”

Dean saw this guy running in the direction of the men’s dorms, which were on the other side of campus. He felt bad, and he had a car, so he opened the passenger door and let him in.

Turned out to be the most gorgeous guy he’d ever laid eyes on. He was a bit awkward, but he had no filter, which made him weirdly funny. He asked about the music playing in the car and listened intently to Dean's rambling. He laughed at his jokes too.

At the end of the five-minute drive, he said his name was Castiel, and Dean asked for his number and saved it as Cas with a thunderstorm emoji. Because even if he didn’t know it yet, Dean was already whipped.

“Two years ago,” Cas says, finally looking up at Dean. His eyes are wide and vulnerable and he looks terrified and Dean can barely stand it. “Two years ago tonight, I started to fall in love with you.”

Dean can’t breathe. His ears are hot and he can’t stop fidgeting with the note in his hand and he can’t breathe.

But his feet start moving again, out of their own volition. They move toward Cas.

“If you don’t feel–” Cas starts, but Dean swallows his words.

Again, Dean’s brain isn’t all there yet, and he doesn’t realize what he’s doing until he’s already in it. He’s grabbing Cas’s face, digging his fingertips into the back of his hair, and the note is forgotten on the table, and thunder rumbles not that far away. He’s darting out his tongue, begging to explore Cas’s mouth as he’s wanted to do since forever, and Cas lets him. He tastes like toothpaste and coffee and honey and Dean never wants to taste anyone else ever again.

Cas is wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist and pressing his entire body against him. It’s making Dean weak in the knees but it’s okay because Cas is almost holding him upright at this point. There’s another clap of thunder, much closer this time, and the lightning probably illuminated the apartment, but it wasn’t enough to make them part. They’re moving and grasping and exploring frantically, and Dean is afraid Cas is going to disappear, or that he’s going to wake up and this will all have been another dream. But no, it’s real, and they’re playing catchup on two years worth of desire and longing and love.

They eventually pull away, breathless and giddy. The only sounds are the rain and the wind. Dean opens his eyes first, needing to see Cas and make sure this is completely, definitely, unequivocally real. Cas is smiling and taking deep breaths, and a weight seems to be lifted off his shoulders. He opens his eyes a second later, and even in the darkness, even with just the faint candlelight, the blue in them seems to shine. And even though there's no power, it feels as if there's electricity crackling in the air around them. It might be the storm.

No. It's the moment. This moment with Cas is what feels electric.

“Come to bed?” Dean asks, feeling brave and going out on a limb. The only way Cas responds is by interlocking his hand into Dean’s and kissing him again.

And after tonight, for the rest of his life, if anyone ever asks him “what’s one thing you love about Cas?” Dean won’t be able to narrow down an answer.

He’ll just say: “Everything.”