#he feels bad for ghost but also that is a life goal he can get behind

[twst-rose-prisms]

Twst boys and their respective Vocaloid songs

Part 2 of this post!

Characters: All NRC students Warning: Some of these songs contain angsty/dark themes or imply self-harm, however it's nothing too much as that's the nature of Vocaloid songs in general and I recommend you checking them out if you guys can!

Part 1 | Part 2

🕌 Scarabia 🕌

Kalim: Tondemo-Wonderz

This song is full of fun, excitement and upbeat, colorful beats that make you want to smile and dance along, just like the ball of sunshine Kalim he is! The song talks about embracing the unknown and excitement the world offers to us while also having fun, encouraging us to have faith in the wondrous possibilities, while also embracing the failure and mistakes with laughter and positivity. I’d say it’s a perfect song for Kalim, from the vibe to the lyrics!

“Even in this sort of era, We still believe in "wonders," no, no, no? Know! The adult's sharp, money-making memories Make us worry too much! I'm gonna go cross-eyed!” "Why?!" "Do it like this!!" I love everything! That's fine, isn’t it? In this plot to make everyone laugh I can call them rival monsters, right?! We live in a wild, awesome world.” “I reckon it's fine to have troubles you can't do a thing about! I make a pose like I'm gonna save everyone. How about this smile, it's not gonna crumble at all! Even if I fall 100 times, I'm like a phoenix. I won't get upset! Wan wan, too quick, three four! Everybody, showtime!” “Come on professor! This exam is so tough! Agh! Alright, done? Is it final? If I don't get 0 points, it's OK! Let's rain a shower of arrows on those true and false questions! Right and wrong answers are important memories." "There are days when I fail too. You still deny "wonders", no, no, no? Know! Before I'm taken to pieces, listen, wait! This slanted society is too on edge. Charge in, leap in, one more time! Are you ready?!”

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Jamil: Ghost City Tokyo

Like a ghost who is almost invisible to other’s eyes, Jamil used to do the same too, he always makes sure everything he does is at an average level so nobody will notice him. That’s why I picked this song for him, also because of the lyrics - he’s used to losing, to not be able to shine and stand out for the sake of others, and it’s not something he dreamt of at all. Also I think the city here can be interpreted as Scarabia too, because he still wants to be here despite everything that happened in Book 4.

“The lights of the brilliant shining city Shine down on me in stark contrast They mix with the neon colours changing and escaping from the spaces between those buildings" "I trade my time and this world And sink into the night” “It’s fine, someday it will all be fine How many days I’ve thought so, that have piled up on each other But even today, the me who fades into the Tokyo scenery all alone Seems like a ghost” “Even as I grow used to losing These important feelings that I haven't lost - When I held them close to myself, my tears fell suddenly Because I think I still want to Keep living in this city”

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👑 Pomefiore 👑

Vil: Cinema

This song is pretty self-explanatory with the lyrics, it’s like someone views their life as a movie, their story is like an unchanged script, yet they’re being satisfied with everything - they want to be the leading star, the protagonist of the movie. Being someone who always has to play the villain role, I picked this song for Vil because it just fits him so much with his backstory and his goal as a whole!

“A delusion of dawn Invaluable escapades and A misunderstood hero play-pretend Traffic's already jammed up now- Oh well, nothing I can do about that anyway” “No, it can't be this, not this. This is a bad fit for me I'm not suited for it- Should I quit it now, or— But that's not right, right! I wonder, when will I get to be The leading star of this show?” “We're not here yet, yet. This can't be the end, so If you're not suited for the role Then just rewrite the script! Look, for the most part, I'm sure it'll always just be me The leading star will only be me!” “The future I wanted to change has come. Whatever you like, however you like it, This is it. I made it here, all the way from the bottom. Just like a movie, this is my story.”

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Epel: Telecaster B-boy

A song talking about the struggle of growing up, trying to find one’s place in this vast world, the singer desires to be loved and appreciated but always gets misunderstood and underappreciated and also frustrated with society,  just like Epel himself. He hates being the stereotype, cliche thing. If you know his story and goal then this song is very fitting for him! Also the funky, youthful but somewhat fast beat and lyrics fit him very well too!

“The more I grow up DeDeDe The less I fit in, a vacant temple. The girl the life philosopher spoke to Turns into a bird … With just lip service PaPaPa I'll tie up my raggedy shoes … The boy whom a believer in digitization cursed Turns into wind …” “No matter how you look at it DeDeDe It's a stereo bias, sadistic The girl who sang like she was stung by a bee Turns into a flower... Even if you cover your ears PaPaPa Those guys' voices become loud The boy who got these words stabbed in his chest Turns back…” “In this world where I can't Even breathe for a bit Declaring a goodbye to reality Won't you just forgive us? We, the weak ones Let's meet up again somewhere”

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Rook: Liar Dance

Rook is a bit hard to find, but in my opinion this is the best song for him. It talks about a couple who both hide and lie to each other. But it also means that the singer’s POV is them knowing they’re a liar, a criminal just like other people. Rook himself is not an exception, he also lies and hides many things away even to his friends or someone like Vil. Also I think the lyrics fit him really well, with constant mention of love and lies many times throughout.

''Stolen? Just whatever do you mean?'' Feigning ignorance today as well Having made a vow, to you and you alone Declaring this loveless love of mine in front of you" "Stolen? Just whatever do you mean?" Committing myself to this performance, set lines and all Those memories we've desperately created and clung to, they blend together and feelings between us intensify” “Dance away liar This love has swelled up like a balloon let's turn it into a lie with the prick of a needle On the count of "I-love-you" “Dance away, liar It's too late to apologize We're already partners in this crime called "love" Who cares if there's no going back?”

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💀 Ignihyde 💀

Idia: All I Need are Things I Like

While there could be many other songs that fit Idia, I decided to pick this one because of the lyrics and overall meaning. The song talks about indulging solely into one’s interests and favorite thing everyday, almost every time without paying much attention to reality much at all. Even though the singer sounds happy and satisfied, they also sound lonely, deprived of energy and strength and also longing for actual companionship instead of coping up to the things that they like. It sounds like Idia himself after what happened to him and also his backstory!

"I don’t like weekdays, I like the weekend I don’t like work, I like going back to sleep It’s impossible to live on slacking like this My consciousness recedes" "I don’t like vegetables, I like hamburgers I don’t like barley tea, I like juice Don’t be sweet on me, but I like sweet tasting things My lifetime’s first page" "Only looking at things I like gradually my eyesight gets worse Only being filled with things I like gradually my mind gets duller" "I don’t like living things, I like machines I don’t like the real world, I like the virtual Your tastes were always biased deteriorating and ceasing to think" "Surrounded by the things I like I’ve become unforgiving to the things I don’t like Living only with the things I like I'm resented by someone, somewhere"

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Ortho: Near

This song is gentle, yet emotional and bittersweet, its meaning also fits Ortho and Idia + their relationship a lot if you take it into their backstory context too. At first, Ortho is just a robot that only acts according to how he was programmed but gradually, he starts acting outside his intended programming and learns his own sentience and emotions - just like the robot girl as the song progresses. Overall, I think this fits him a lot!

“Hey, Near. If I don't make fun of someone And if I won't be able to forgive myself How do you feel about This horrible person?" "Hey, Near. Watching other's strides Stepping out without a purpose How do you feel about this Dull person? Hey Near” “Hey, Near. I think living every day with a smile Is something natural How do you feel about This arrogant person?" "Things that do not take any form and cannot be predicted Will interfere with the calculation process" Even so" "Ah, I'll still continue to believe And ask you who doesn't have a heart Because your hand was So much warmer than mine”

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🐉 Diasomnia 🐉

Malleus: Hare wo Matsu

I feel like this song fits Malleus the most with how the lyrics constantly talk about one’s loneliness and about past’s memories. For Malleus, his biggest fear perhaps is his dearest, most cherished people leave his life, like Lilia - his guardian that raises him up ever since he’s still a little lizard or maybe even MC - his ever first friend that treats him so dearly despite his status or his fearful magic power unlike others who is afraid of him. Even the beat is also beautiful but sad, full of longing for your loved one when they leave - just like Malleus himself.

"I'm not getting tired of this morning, One that I've waited for. Very faintly, I'm laughing while appearing to be sorrowful, And wishing to completely forget you." "Because there's no end to this curse Of sleeplessness and the painful past. I'm singing a song in the morning glow, If only I could completely forget, it would end." "There's just one thing I can't yield, And still, without knowing the reason, I live, even now..." "Since I don't have a dream I want to protect, These are days with no answer, But that isn't kindness, isn't it?" "Look, since absolutely nothing hurts, It's alright," I say. Someday, when you'll be gone, ah~ Will I be living alone?”

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Lilia: Kanade Tomosu Sora 

I feel like this song fits Lilia the most in terms of the vibe, the lyrics that matched well with his backstory. This song, while sad, full of longing and reminiscent from the past yet it’s like a glimmer of hope somewhere in the deep, dark sea of sad memories. Lilia was the same too despite how we see him acting outwardly. He gives love to others, but he also needs love and hope. He went through events that could crush him easily and yet, he still stayed strong - for a whole 200+ years, for the sake of others. (I recommend checking out the 25ji, Night Code de version too!)

“Every time I trace back my memories, I feel as if I’m going to be crushed, yet Since I have no place to take refuge,  I just keep questioning myself over and over. Ah…” “There are too many things in my way,  It’s as if there are only things I can’t see Is it alright if I try touching it a little? I want to say it. Even though it might surely be impossible, I want to somehow. Hey, more; hey, more; I want to see more” “So I can turn the images I’ve found of your world still unknown to me Into song" "Blaming myself all this time,  I simply live and breathe but only just barely I’ve always shut it away in a cage I’m not asking for a plain, simple story. I simply wish to hear your voice” “It still hurts. Words keep tightening the cord round my neck, but... These eyes of mine I closed so gently as well, still hurt a little, but… I want to say it. Even though now, I still don’t know when it’ll be but someday for sure. Hey, more; hey, more; I want to see more”

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Silver: Ice Drop

I think this song fits Silver a lot mostly because of the lyrics, and the deep sea could symbolize the dreams that he dives into in Book 7. Although it’s upbeat, the lyrics are full of longing and reminiscing of the past and also his father, but eventually move on and “grow up” from it.  Not to mention, you could even take it as a SilverMC song if you think about that aspect! But even if it's not in a romantic sense, it's still a song talking about how much the past affects us and how we long for our loved one even if it's just a memory, that's why to me this song is really for Silver!

“Even the memories of the past are merely a thousand-year tale I take a deep breath as I fall into the deep sea” “Uh- that voice of yours drenches my whole heart Tangled up and captivated by each other, we sing our unchanging love once more You, not letting go of your hands become a rule of mine It's a heart that will melt away the rusted last page That one and only magic will turn this world around” “I’ll be waiting. Inside my dream, I reach out my hand” “Uh- On this planet, I fell in love without sleeping I longed for you and hesitated what to do, but from now on, I'll grow up You, If it’s with you, I’ll dive in without hesitation”

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Sebek: Kashika

Sebek was the hardest to find for me in the entire list mainly because while he has his own character, he doesn’t have too much depth but I tried my best and I think this song fits him the most! This song is powerful, full of willpower and hope towards tomorrow despite the hard, tough times. The song encourages us to keep living, even in the most uncertain moments, you need to cherish each moment of your life as well your living heartbeat, which represents the tenacity and perseverance of life. I feel like the energy as well the meaning of the song fits Sebek a lot overall for his character - with the desire to rise, stand up and protect he always have.

“When my quivering voice breathed life into a song, It was then I realized, That was the first time my breath could be seen. They say that in the end, the value of music is subjective– Well then, I'll sing as I please, I'll show you the message I want to convey. I won't despair over Or be afraid of my mistakes. They say to "live the right way," But I want to fight against that. My whole life has consisted of "it's my fault." Even if I'm treated like a fool, I'll be hurt and I'll hurt others, I'll live, causing both kindness and injury. The present I see is everything to me, So I don't want to cling onto ideals of the past or the future. Beat, beat, o heart of mine! It might be unsteady, but even so, this is my pulse.”

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[natelia-aldelliz]

more ghost!Roach with accidental necromancer Soap, their first interaction !

(please ignore the fact that i can't draw the same character twice lmao)

[angelyuji]

yandere headcanons :0

across the spiderverse characters: peter b parker, miles, gwen, miguel, hobie, pavitr

warnings: the usual yandere stuff (kidnapping, manipulation, stalking)

(imagine miles, gwen, pavitr like college age) (gender neutral reader)

peter b

literally so in love with you

he’s not the type to sit and stalk you from a far, but he’s also not straight up kidnapping you

he’ll watch you, find out your interests, find your social media, everything he needs to figure out how to be your perfect lover <3

he becomes your friend and integrates himself into your life

if you like him, he has no reason to separate you from your family or friends becuz he’s the perfect boyfriend. no one has anything negative to say abt him

if you don’t… he’ll do anything to make you like him.

convince you your whole family is evil and he’s the only one really looking out for you

he’s awkward and sweet and kind and so funny and it’s hard not to believe him

wants the American dream life: white picket fence, house in the suburbs, marriage, kids

that’s his dream for the both of you and he doesn’t really care if you don’t have the same dream

“you’re my dream, (y/n). everything i do, it’s always been for you.”

miles (aged up!)

miles is similar to peter b but like also not

very stalker but like without knowing, he’d pass your place over and over during his patrols around the city without realizing

he’d never kidnap you or do anything reallyyy morally wrong

howeverrr he’s absolutely in love with you, so like small little things

stalking, stealing small things from you, finding out the shampoos or different things you use or eat.

he feels closer to you, knowing he knows you better than anyone else.

after a long time, he’ll work up the courage to talk to you (“accidently” bumping into you at a coffee shop or a place you visit frequently) miles (albeit awkward) is a charmer, so you’re instantly smitten.

plus! he loves all the things you do, so you’re a match made in heaven :)

“hey, (y/n)! we meet again!”

gwen (aged up!)

gwen doesn’t try to interact with you much

she’s definitely afraid of putting you in danger or losing you just because you got close

she’ll watch over you and protect you from danger tbh like

for example, sayyy someone was harassing you at work and/or school, you’d probably successfully get that off your ass or at least they leave you alone for the day, butttt gwen would not feel satisfied.

gwen would find where they live and absolutely beat the living shit out of them

seeing someone bother you makes her vision go red like

basically your guardian angel

she would never bother you really just protecting you from afar

you’ll never notice tbh

unless some big bad guy found out that ghost-spider has been following around a random civilian…

well then, she’ll have to keep you safe

she’ll keep you safe in her apartment, whether you want to be there or not.

“every single thing i do, i do it to keep you safe.”

miguel (won’t be writing in spanish cause i don’t know spanish srry guys) (but he def calls you cute nicknames in spanish)

HEHHEHEHEE (my bad im just literally in love)

gwen but like 10000000 times more intense

the moment he lays eyes on you, babes you’re FUCKED

he’s snatching you up

however! the first thing he’ll check is if you’re super important to the “safety” of the timeline

no offense but ur not at all important saurrr FREE GAMEE

he’s definitely kidnapping you and keeping you hostage at HQ

he doesn’t bother with the whole stalking thing or becoming friends or anything like that

he doesn’t care if you don’t want to come with him, your opinions do not matter to him at all

he believes that he’s your protector, that everything that he’s doing is for your own good

you don’t know what’s best for yourself, only miguel knows what’s best for you (at least that’s what he thinks)

his only goal is to keep you with him, he wants a family and he believes that with you… he can achieve his dreams

if you’re a part of the Spider Society, Miguel can’t really do anything to you without other people noticing or disrupting the timeline

but yk… it’s better to be a rando from whatever universe to have miguel’s attention (but that’s just my opinion i suppose)

“you are mine. you will never leave me.”

hobie (will not be writing his british accent sorry im bad at accents)

i love him he’s so funny

you’ve been friends for a long time, he was in a band with you before he quit

he doesn’t really stay in one place for long

he’s a lot like a mix of gwen and miles

he believes keeping you safe is by staying close to you, but he also watches over you when you’re alone

he falls for you because of how positive you are, you never talk badly about anyone, but you’re always down to do anything.

you always join him for every protest, at his every show

he flirts with you constantly, loving how you blush away at the attention

constantly giving you attention and love, but a little manipulative about it at the same time

he never wants to kidnap you or keep you hostage, it’s against everything he stands for

he knows that if you didn’t like him, you’d never be by his side

so he believes that keeping you free is what keeps you near him

“we’re free birds, (y/n). with you by my side, we’re unstoppable.”

pavitr (aged up!) (this is gonna be very non-yandere tbh) (ILOVEHIM)

my little cutie pie i love him

i can’t really imagine being a yandere type character but he would be similar in miles and hobie

no kidnapping or stealing tho

slight stalking, just watching over you all the time, making sure you’re safe

he’s my little cutie pie moroenfakds

he’s flirty and funny

you’d be classmates when you meet him

you’d click very quickly tbh he’s just so easy to get along with

he’s absolutely terrified of your parents, very respectful tho so your parents love him

very passionate about how much he likes you, would quite literally shout it from the rooftops (and he does every day)

ugh i love him

"you're my world, (y/n). i love you so much."

[gravesbf]

YOO IM IN LOVE WITH UR HCS THEY TASTE LIKE CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRIES AND FRUIT TEA :3

Request here 🙏🙏🙏

Could you possibly.. *leans on Bugatti with graves wrap on it + an inflatable eagle and American flag flying from the bonnet* write some hcs for 141 + König with a gn s/o that has had a really bad day and just needs some comfort? So eg, just being pampered and having their hair washed, being told they’ve done well, that people are proud of them and love them, etc?

Ive been having a really shitty past few months with my depression and anxiety and it’s really overwhelmed me so I’m kinda projecting.. 🧍🏼🧍🏼

If you can’t do it, that’s ok!!! No pressure <33

But if you can, may your skin be clear and may your crops flourish 🙏🙏🙏 (with america rizz) (im british)

i hate brits but ill make an exception for u 🫶 /lh i hope ur day gets a littol bit better for u pookie :< ik how hard it gets fr <3 we r in this together :)

cw: depression (not delved into !!)

simon "ghost" riley:

☆ this guy getss it !!! he doesn't open up much about his feelings directly but let's all be fr and agree he's not the most mentally stable

☆ your self care day is hiss self care day, thrives on cuddling and using you as weighted blanket while he rubs your back

☆ has himself a tea while you both cuddle, and trust me it's good tea. the night might turn into a cuddle and see how many teas simon can make before you run out

☆ before you fall asleep fully he kisses the crown of your head and says that he's proud of how far you've come

john "soap" mactavish:

☆ tries to be more lowkey w how he comforts you because he doesn't want to come off as overbearing

☆ has mastered the perfect balance of praise and touch, he holds your hand while you tell him about your day and he makes comments trying to sympathize w you

☆ lets you scritch his mohawk while he tells you how much he loves you and how glad he is that you're around and here with him

☆ lays his head on your chest when you both go to sleep so he can listen to your heartbeat and tap your arms to the beat of it, has both of you asleep within 5 minutes

john price:

☆ kinda awkward with comforting but he tries his best, he's always a little bit confused about how somebody like you could be so upset about anything

☆ he knows that it's not his place to fully understand though, so he sticks to doing what he does best: being an old ass man

☆ showers with you and washes your hair while you vent (or not) about how you've been feeling, he stays mostly silently except for humming to let you know he's listening

☆ towel dries your hair and changes the bedsheets to clean ones so you can be fully clean because he's a firm believer in being a little more tidy can greatly improve somebody's feelings

kyle "gaz" garrick:

☆ king of pampering in general, he's waiting on you hand and foot constantly. honestly he probably knows it's going to be a bad day before you even start your day

☆ he's always making you food to eat throughout the day, little snacks that aren't too big but are just enough to keep you energized and full

☆ ditches his military soaps for your nice ones when you take a shower, secretly (not rlly) loves when you laugh at him building bubble beards on himself and doing price impressions

☆ making you laugh is his goal in life tbh he's constantly cracking jokes while you both cuddle, some of them are so bad it's funny

könig:

☆ another guy that genuinely understands everything you're talking abt, his anxiety also makes him have awfulll days and due to being the military around lots of people he's learned coping mechanisms

☆ takes hot showers with you a lot in general, but even more when you're having one of those days. he's already washing your hair and face as soon as you get in

☆ lets you braid his hair while he talks idly about how missions are and how he adores you, though he says that in german. you've picked up on him saying cheesy stuff in german though so it's fine :)

☆ lets you sprawl out on him like a starfish when you both finally go to sleep, around 2am because of how many shows he wanted to watch with you

[boltonbritreads]

I am at the point of truly begging anons to stop sending hate to writers and ruining the ability for people to share their writing and others to get to read and engage with it. It literally just ruins everything for everyone and taints a space that’s supposed to be anything from comfort, escapism, a creative outlet, to hanging out with friends.

truly- what is the goal? what do you get out of pushing writers off the platform and making a fandom have even less engagement? I wish there was a “stop, are you really sure you want to send that message” screen before you could send anons sometimes so bc of that…..

🖤🖤 Eddie Munson Fic Rec List! 🖤🖤

as a reader who gets so much comfort and vital escapism from fanfic I want to just shout out some incredible stories I’ve been following/read lately:

*totally non exhaustive and just what I could remember at work!!* I’m hoping to add more & eventually made a proper list

@munson-blurbs’s “Trapped Under Ice” - truly lovely single dad eddie story that has so much heart and fluff and getting to see Eddie and Ms Sweetheart build their relationship and grow together has been so satisfying and lovely to read

@corroded-hellfire “As You Wish” I can’t even put into words 😩 I’m so down bad for this eddie and this fic and every single time reader gets to gets to spend time with Luke and Ryan and eddie gets even more smitten I melt

@upsidedownwithsteve’s “Simmer”!! I am truly losing my mind over simmer and as a fellow crybaby who just needs that extra comfort sometime, I yearn for Simmer!Eddie. Truly this fic means so much to me and I relate so so much to reader it makes me cry

@pinkrelish “The Yes Policy” - I mean, do I even have to say anything? It’s everything you could ever want and more in an eddie fic and the descriptions and imagery in every chapter my god ♥️🐭

@abibliophobiaa “Daylight” - holy shit I can’t express the itch this fic scratches it’s just the best and an absolute fluffy comfort fest. Lovesick Eddie, Unplanned Pregnancy reader, strangers to friends to lovers, cuddling in bed?? what more can you ask for?? I really love how *spoilers* eddie has accepted his feelings for reader and is just waiting for if/when she decides to go further with him, ball in her court

@sunflowergirl522 - “M’Lady, M’Lord” oh my this was so good and fun to read!! I’m such a sucker for goofy eddie and seeing reader meet him where he is and be playful back is just *chefs kiss*

@ghost-proofbaby - ok so basically anything Ghost has ever written is incredible but my highlights are “24 hours” because of course it is like ?? such a cool concept and the execution was perfection. I haven’t felt like I’m on the edge of my seat week-to-week for a fic in a while and seeing everyone react to each chapter and collectively lose our minds was so fun and something I love about fanfic!! After you’ve read “24 hours,” head on over to “So Scarlet (It was Maroon)” for some angst and pain and then chase it with “Coffee Shop Blues” for cute slice of life at a coffee shop with barista!eddie 🥰

@neonghostlights - “To the Moon & Back” alien eddie!!! I’m loving this series so far and how much fun and tension can be built into the dynamic of alien eddie and reader who have some language/cultural barriers but also like…..eddie gets it 👀👅

@harrywavycurly - there’s truly so much to choose from!! their master list has so much and there’s all kinds of text fics to dip into and a whole universe of Eddie’s! I personally love and am following “Trouble Next Door,” “It Was Just One Night,” and “Eddie’s Wish.” I desperately want TND eddie and reader to just get to smooch and cuddle but uh….I think getting over being cheated on and getting a divorce takes longer than I’d like 🫤

@carolmunson “Orange Coloured Sky” the older!eddie of dreeeeeeams my god 😍 from start to current this story has been so fun to follow and I’m loving the characterisation of this older eddie who is confident and hot but also….such a dork like immediately texting Steve “she said I’m the best she’s ever had 😎” I can’t

@luveline - ok anything and everything Jade has ever written, literally an entire treasure trove of a master list and the obviously heavy hitters are “June Baby!” and the “Eddie and Roan” series for all of the baby fever of reading about eddie and a cute baby but I also wanted to shout out the fic “A Quest for Bed” because it was so gosh darn sweet and fluffy and I love seeing eddie take care of reader once in a while

@trashmouth-richie - again another obvious incredible gorgeous fic “Honey I’m Home,” it’s so so beautiful and heart wrenching and funny and I’m in awe of the compassion and tenderness show towards the characters in this story. I adore HIH with everything but also “Do You Like How the Water Tastes” has been such a fun new story to dig into! I feel like I truly can’t predict what each chapter will be like and I keep being surprised by how Eddie interacts with reader and it makes each new chapter so exciting to read bc I think it’ll go one way and then I’m totally surprised!!

[peachyloveswriting]

Can a get headcanons for konig, ghost, and soap for a reader who got her period and needs cuddles

DOMESTIC FLUFF --- könig, Ghost, and Soap

SUMMARY: Fem! Reader gets comforted by the military boys while on her period. :)

NOTES: I'm also up for writing one shots for these guys so request those too please.

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

KÖNIG

-> könig is a man of his word, so whether it be on base or at home he's always willing to be right by your side when you need him and when he promises. This includes when it's that time of month and you want comfort. If he knows he's can't be there for you he'll leave something for you to have from him.

-> Asking him for anything will always be a yes. You ask for one of his shirts because it smells like him and you need comfort, he'll give it to you without questions. He'll buy pads for you even if it makes him really nervous. Pain meds aren't even in the question because he already has them for when you get cramps. He's prepared and always willing to do anything for you.

-> He always knows when it's close to that time because the week before you'll start doubting yourself and getting frustrated easily. No need to worry though, as he's always here to reassure you. He knows that PMS sucks and that it's just your hormones being all wack so anything mean you say to him is immediately excused. If someone else doesn't know this and they get mad at you or decide to start a fight he'll immediately step in. In public he normally doesn't have to do this because he's an absolute giant that lurks behind you all the time, who would want to mess with him. On base however, he'll step in physically and pull the person aside to explain that it's not your fault, usually they walk away annoyed in most cases.

-> He's very understanding about the pain you're in before and during your period. He understands that your boobs will be sore and your back will begin to hurt like hell. He'll crack your back for you if it's bad enough and he'll get you out of work if he really has too. But when someone pokes fun at you for being on your period or states that 'its not that bad' it's not going to end well. König would rather talk it out but these kinds of people don't change so it ends with someone leaving with a broken nose and a mental note to not disrespect you again.

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

GHOST

-> Ghost, bless his heart, has never been good with this kind of thing or just women in general. However he does his best to make sure you're okay and have what you need. He'll ask if you'd like him to get you anything and whatever it is that you want is in your hands within the hour and that's a guarantee. At this rate his main goal is to make sure you're comfortable.

-> This poor man has a hard time telling when you're beginning to PMS, he'll just assume you're being an asshole to be an asshole and sometimes this sparks an argument which can lead to you crying. This man never fails to make this happen but when it does he's relentless in his journey to make you feel better. At this point he'll give you two of his shirts or jackets during the time you usually start.

-> Even though he doesn't like talking outwardly about periods he'll still buy you the supplies you need like pads and whatnot. Unlike König, when people start questioning why you're so bitchy Ghost will just simply state the word period and it gets left at that. But the moment someone makes it an issue he'll very calmly threaten them life and limb, this is no exaggeration either, I do literally mean calmly. That's normally when he's in public though, on base he's ready to jack people up by their throats if he has to.

-> Ghost knows that your emotions are hard to control during your period so he's okay with you being mad at him during this time unless he doesn't know beforehand then it's a fight all over again. However, the moment someone steps out of line is the moment that someone tells you to grow a pair or to get over it. Then he's fucking furious. It's a natural occurrence that you can't control so he just becomes so utterly enraged, if you ever wanted to test his strength this is how you fing out. Not even Soap or König can hold him back now.

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

SOAP

-> John's already a very caring man when it comes to you but when you add your period into the mix he's like a sweet little angel. He'll buy you gifts, give you massages, and let you borrow any one his clothes. He understands that it can be rough sometimes so he's just trying to make sure you feels your most possible best at any given moment.

-> Being a confident man he has no issues buying you pads whenever you need them, even at base. After your first period with him around he always kept Motrin in hand just in case. And he doesn't mind the PMS, it's a natural part of the female reproductive system and he's wants to make sure that no matter what, the situation is the best outcome for you and whatever you're going through. He's great at comfort, so your random burst of anger and sadness go over like butter. He knows just the right things to say that make you melt in his arms.

-> He finds no shame in you wanting discrepancy about it and if you don't care he just wants to be sure that others knowing doesn't bother you. Regardless, if the situation calls for it, he'll say something. If someone claims that you've been acting out of line or being a wuss he's calm enough to explain the situation to them once but no more than once, if it happens again he's threatening people left and right public or not. And don't let this man find out who told you that periods where for weak minded people becauses he's going to commit murder and be kicked out of the military. He doesn't care what anyone has to say, the moment they disrespect you is the moment they're dead.

-> Asking Soap for favors during this time isn't an issue. He's always willing to do what you need for anything. On the base he's okay with telling off Price because of your needs or wants, he doesn't care just so long as you're happy. This includes when someone makes a comment about him making it a big deal, doesn't matter if it's Ghost he'll rip them apart just using his words. It's all simply because it is a big deal to him. He cares.

[ohcorny]

i need to post loic soulsov character analysis because if i don't i'll die. he's been plaguing my thoughts for *checks watch* like three to four days because we get SO much information about him and who he is in just this one nugget of the game and i'm spinning out of control about it.

spoilers for the most raw bits of the prelude so obviously go play the game first and then come back and read me ramble and make wild assumptions about this man and the direction of his character

so i have been obsessed with this (paraphrased because i'd have to whip through nearly the whole game again to correctly quote it) exchange between the voice and loic:

"Are you prepared for the world Ysme would create?" "Could it really be any worse than this one?"

and god. bro. bro. the absolute devastation necessary for this man to feel this way, about a woman who lied to him from the moment they met (which he clocked! very early on!), mugged him with a gun, SHOT him with that gun, and then when she became his ghost-god immediately realized she could force him to commit suicide by cop if she wanted. this woman did all of this to him, and when given the opportunity to just let her die--arguably justifiable given her goals and how she threatened him and the fact her death was entirely of her own doing--he doesn't. even though "don't let this woman die", a morally good thing on its face, is actually "let this violent, selfish woman become god with the ability to remake the world in her image, while also becoming her slave" and he knows it.

because to him, that's preferable to the world he lives in. your world has to be so bad for that to be the case.

and it is! his world is that bad. not the physical actual world, which yes, is harsh and cold and dangerous outside the mosaic, but his world, his daughter, in an incurable coma. there is a cruelty to somebody you love being incurably sick. to the selfish, hurting heart, it can be worse than if they were just dead. you can mourn somebody who's dead, and move on from your grief, but as long as they're still living, you're shackled to hope, constantly grieving. there is no moving on, there is only waiting for it to end. you might bargain, as loic does in his search for the flower to cure her, but it's still just waiting.

and when ysme comes into his life, he gives up on waiting. he has been haunting his own life until then, doing good at lamplight because it was within his power while he was there, but i don't think it was ever with dedication. it was something to pass the time as he looked for the flower. essentially selling his soul, surrendering his free will to ysme, this incredibly dangerous, selfish woman, is better than living as he has been. because he's selfish too.

what i like so much about loic is that he's presented as this very kind, soft, unassailable dad who wants to do the right thing. A Down to Earth Good Guy, to contrast with the chaos of ysme, but he's fucking selfish! while he couldn't have predicted the raw physical power of exalted ysme, he still knew she would receive the power to remake the world. and he still decided: fuck this world.

the natural assumption is that his kindness will balance out ysme, and i'm here for that narrative, but honestly. i think she's going to make him worse. the seed of selfishness is already in him, and he's indulged it by giving her power over him, and that must be in some way a relief. he's effectively surrendered responsibility for himself and his actions over to her. he can no longer be fully blamed for anything now that she has power over him.

and i think he's tired of being nice. i think he's ready to go apeshit.

.........and while that would make a good button to end this on, i have to mention: there is a non-zero chance he thinks she's hot and the idea of being a goddess' slave is hot. he's a grown ass man who we know for a fact HAS fucked, and while ysme was like "i thought you were a dead wife guy. i guess you still could be" my money is on divorced. my theory is lia was going over to her mom's house in that flashback.

like yes, all of that above is the main motivator, but i'm not ready to discount sex. loic wants to be lifestyle dommed. because what i just described about surrendering his free will is literally the appeal of being a sub: giving somebody else control, so you don't have to feel the weight of it. this is a story for adults about adults and it is on that le guin shit of linking a sexual fantasy inexorably to the world building and plot thrust, and i am ESPECIALLY here for that.

and i think that's everything i had to say about loic soulsov. i am exorcised. i'm better now.

[dangermousie]

I love so much that Young Hwa developed feelings for Do Ha. It's glorious!

The thing that makes me positively wild isn't just that he rescues her, in contrast to his dream at the beginning of past ep but that here is his supposed solution. All he has to do is to remove his hand and she falls and dies by his hand and he gets his goal (since he believes the curse will break if she dies by his hand, though I am beginning to think it will actually break if she makes it past 30 just once.) And it does not even occur to him.

Instead look at them:

His face at that! But she isn't wrong, you know. I think the dad has been murdering her over and over to make the curse keep going and now he's finally got the chance to save her and that is what will break it. But meanwhile I am incoherent at the way he just drinks in, stunned, being held by her.

And her confession...

That is the ending I would adore but it would never work - he's a ghost in a body of a terminally ill man, so how would it even go? But please please.

We all know the answer is no.

I also loved that he told her about the part of the curse where she dies before 30 every single time and it took her a little bit but she ultimately believed it. And then we got to this:

That is truly horrifying. The more we learn about the curse, the more horrific it becomes for both - she never gets a full life and he? It was bad enough when I thought a man who wanted to die was just trapped never being able to die and a man who was lonely was trapped being alone. But it's worse. It's a man who loved a woman so much, having to watch her never remember him or interact with him and die horrifically over and over and over again. When he finally gets a body and goes to kill her right after hugging her, there is a reason it never felt like a result of rage - I think for him by then it's a mercy killing for the both of them, so the are finally free of the curse and can reincarnate into people with normal life. To him it's salvation for them both.

Honestly, horrifying. He was man who wanted to die and cannot die but also the man who wanted his woman to live and has to watch her die over and over. Good God.

But I do think there is a reason daddy is so frantic for her die before she hits 30; if she makes past it the curse will be broken. And I love how past is connected more and more to the present - loved that she realized that the bracelet that protected her was made from the beads Do Ha gave her past self way when and the whole thing the monk told her about "items that contain strong wishes eventually find their owners" and she realizes that the item Do Ha got her 1500 years ago to protect her has been protecting her in this life; - that was glorious!

[thelunarfairy]

The lonely prince of the moon 🌙

Have you made your wish to him today? Did not you know? The Moon Prince can grant wishes, but he asks for one thing in return.

If your desire is to find out more about him, then you will have to give him your patience, because this little boy will not fulfill your wish so easily, how long have you been waiting for this?

Amane and Hanako, two names of the same person. Two versions, same story. It's incredibly contradictory how at the same time he can be such a charismatic boy and so isolated.

But, if we are going to talk about our little dreamer, let's separate him into periods.

Amane, the shy and introverted boy. He had no friends and didn't seem interested in finding any. He lived alone with his own thoughts. Could this boy be more mysterious? The marks on his skin left a trail of violence without us knowing who was to blame, and even if he was, for Amane there was no guilt.

The marked boy, the way he looked at the marks, as something he had to bear alone. People shouldn't meddle, that's what he decided.

Loneliness…

A word that is apparently part of his life, despite being born alongside the person he loved most in life. He was lonely, and didn't seem to feel loved. He wanted to leave Earth, such a bad place for him.

Amane wanted to conquer the Moon, she was so brilliant, the feeling of welcome she gave him, as if she said that if he could reach her, he would be free, he would be happy.

The way he found to get to heaven…

He went, but didn't reach the Moon, the Earth pulled him back.

Amane dies and Hanako is born.

Equally lonely and with a big weight on his back. He had two sins now, that of having killed his own brother and of having taken his own life, at least, that's all we know.

The so fragile and defenseless Amane was suffocated into his chest. And he was trapped for so long that when he resurfaces, Hanako doesn't know how to act.

When does Amane return?

When a little mermaid decides to show him her charms.

Mermaid?

Who was the girl who called him the first time?

He likes to call her Yashiro. I think you know

The first person who saw him. He wasn't an evil apparition, nor a ghost, nor a strange, perverted boy, he was her friend. Isn't that what she said?

She was the only one who little by little helped Hanako to show a little of Amane, because even though now he is the great 7 of the 7 mysteries, the great powerful ghost… He is still Amane.

There is a big difference between them. Hanako is extremely charismatic, fun, likes to joke and make stupid jokes. He has good intentions and protects those he loves. And above all, he is not a coward. Even if he made a mistake, he admits his mistake and regrets it.

But, it doesn't end up that way. He is also the person who killed his own brother, he is the person who has good intentions in some cases but solves problems in the wrong way, he uses people to achieve his own goal without thinking about what they will feel.

There is a dark side to him.

And he hates him.

This dark side that we gradually get to know, even if it hides it. And he does it so well it scares me.

People always find justifications for what he does.

He wanted to lock the girl he loves in a fake world without giving her the chance to choose, because he knew she wouldn't want to, and he decided on his own that she would live happily without him.

Good intention, bad execution.

Hanako's dark side became justifiable because people fell in love with him. Because of his dangerous charisma. Because of Amane's fragility, which sometimes reflects on Hanako.

Make no mistake, Hanako didn't stay social after he stopped being Amane Yugi, he likes Yashiro, she was the only person he had any real interest in.

Kou joined the group by force, if you remember how it all started.

Where are Hanako's other friends?

The other supernaturals either respect him or hate him. There is no middle ground.

Why don't Amane and Hanako like the idea of having friends? If there is this charisma if he has this personality that is so easily captivating, then why did he choose that?

To hide the secrets? Because he is afraid of doing something to his own friends and is afraid of losing them?

Because in the PP arc, where the ideal world of the "protagonists" was reflected, did he have friends? Did he want this?

What was stopping him?

Hanako has reflected the waning Moon in his own eyes, a well-lit and beautiful part that draws everyone's attention… And another dark part, that no one can see what it hides….

That sums it up well. The lonely prince of the Moon who wanted to be loved, but was afraid to love too much…. Why?

The boy who only had a short time to live, the one who wasn't going anywhere, the one who pushed his younger brother away just because he wanted to be healthy like him. The boy who cried at night while waiting for his brother to return, who perhaps asked the moon to bring him back. He was alone, but he didn't want to be.

So when Brother came back, he didn't feel like he was enough. Because of him Amane couldn't help but fear that one day he would leave again, because of him Amane endured things he didn't know he could, because of him Amane committed his greatest sin, or what affects him most, because of him the Amane didn't allow himself to love again.

He didn't deserve to love and be loved. That's what he thought. He didn't deserve to be alive, nor to go to the moon to fulfill his own dreams. He deserved to be alone and suffer for eternity, because nothing he does will take away the guilt.

But he got a new chance.

He is being loved again, or for the first time.

Even though he's running away, he wants this… He wants to be loved, to be forgiven, he wants to make things right.

All Hanako, or rather Amane, wants is to have a normal life, like everyone else. 🌟

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Alex Eagleston is insufferable:

literally causes the end of the world by being The Absolute Worst and has done so multiple times including his alternate selves. he technically has three (and a half) love interests (cause theyre the only characters he can/attempt to kiss or express any attraction to) and he treats them all poorly first three vella sammy and essentia 2000 are cause hes a misogynist but they all get different flavors of it sammy gets fridged for the plot of the game and is basically never relevant again outside of a secret(?) ending. shes also based off of a real life dead person for no fucking reason. vella is subjected to weird speculation about her age in her introduction scene with alex saying something along the lines of she cant be older than him cause shes too pretty (alex is like 24 and vella 27 from what i recall its been a few years since ive thought about yiik) and has a weird internal monologue about his feminist ex girlfriend prompted by vella just existing. theres a weird scene when alex asks her if shes korean n says she looks vaguely ethnic making her uncomfortable. One Of His Alternate Selves Literally Caused Her To Leave Her Home Dimension Cause Of How Poorly He Treated Her and the context behind that is that to leave the world/timeline/dimension/whatever you're originally from you basically have to be super suicidal and he pushed her to that point by ghosting her for a while and next time vella saw him he was hooking up with a girl noticably younger than her (<- remember this) and immediately after being told this he can attempt to kiss her which has no actual repercussions. essentia 2000 is like technically supposed to be evil i guess but her goal is supposed to be killing alex so i cant fault her on that. the in game day after they first meet alex has like a monologue about how special and attractive she is ""she was like water filling all my cracks"" or some shit. all three girls are alternates of eachother and are on a sliding scale of how objectified they are by alex with who got it the worst depending on which aspect you're focusing on. other sort of love interest is rory (diversity loss!) who alex can attempt to kiss after he confides in him about something when rory is like 18-19 (hes meant to be about the same age as michael whos recently graduated high school) and depending on how alex treats him can literally kill himself and alex's reaction to learning this is to only focus on how terrible he feels before moving on n rory's death never being mentioned again. the whole point of the game is that alex is a piece of shit who cant even buy groceries for his mom without throwing a hissy fit about it but it undermines itself constantly by having characters forgive or just stop being mad at alex on a dime after hes been exceedingly shitty towards them in various ways and any sort of charm or endearing traits he had quickly wearing off due to him never shutting the fuck up. near the end of the game all the other party members are killed off in quick succession leaving alex by himself and all he can do is sulk in self pity before going on a space adventure or whatever to stop an alternate him thats linked to an alternate essentia and enlisting the player as a different alternate him to help fight various superficial flaws of himself (which arent even like the actual things that make him insufferable n a bad person) n then finish the job for him. i need to punt him into the sun

He constantly goes on annoying monologues about things that nobody cares about. In game he is meant to be kind of an asshole, but they never give him the necessary character development to make him feel like a proper flawed protagonist, yet the narrative makes him out to be a character who is ""deep down a good guy"". Also he doesn't seem to care about any of his friends/party members.

"""YIIK"" is a poorly written, irony-poisoned RPG using a real life actual unsolved murder as the basis for an inciting event, altered so that what happened to the victim was some ~scary supernatural stuff~ and also Alex was there being vaguely misogynistic the whole time and monologuing to no-one in a way no real human person thinks uncritically.

The game intends to paint Alex as a bad person, but this is implemented in such a snide and uninteresting manner which has nothing to actually say about him being this way, nor is it at all fun or entertaining to experience.

He has no idea what's going on, blindly following the plot with the vague motivation of being suddenly stricken with affection for a girl he basically called a freak as soon as he met her five minutes ago. He is self-absorbed, lazy and overconfident, constantly bemoaning and ignoring the needs and feelings of others. He is the only character given enough breathing space to have something to him, and yet manages to not even feel any sort of dimensional.

Also his shirt is an ad for the dev's last game.

An incel who always screams about everything and yet is overly pretentious about everything.

Propaganda why Scott Pilgrim is insufferable:

He is not a good person. He doesn’t take other people’s feelings into consideration. He mooches off his one real friend. He’s dating a teenager as a grown ass man. Every girlfriend he’s ever had hates him for good reasons

Stupid idiot

dated a 17 yr old

kind of a cop-out answer since he's like deliberately made to be an annoying person but

[callmegaith]

your real honest opinion on David's character. GO!

I feel like this implies I've been trolling everyone for the past 6 years about how much I love this silly lil guy. Is there supposed to be a /j at the end of that, anon??

Bestie I would not put this much effort into a troll ever 😭 like do you think I sat there and made a whole comic series for a funny little gag??

In case this is genuine tho:

LONG READ AHEAD

cuz of course. You give me the chance to talk about David and I'll TALK

My real honest opinion on David

Paradise

Silly funny fella. Goofy as hell. I think you can read David's attitude multiple different ways in Paradise. To some he comes off as just an asshole

To others he's just a kid being a kid

I personally read his character as somewhat sarcastic and spiteful towards Jakob. His smile? Sarcastic. His "it's been a while brother"? Sarcastic. "I hope I'm not the one who died tonight" while knowing full well it ain't him? Sarcastic.

I'll talk about this more later when I talk about Mr. Rabbit!David.

David has the characteristics of most youngest siblings; He's annoying, he's childish, maybe a little spoiled and needy for attention too.

Not to jump ahead in this analysis and all but in Birthday, the box he needs has text on it that reads "hungry ghost", "ghost who is unable to be reborn" or preta. They're often spirits of people who died full of greed and jealousy. In Japanese, a preta is also "a spoiled child" or "brat"

Based on that information I thought maybe David was jealous of Jakob cuz he wanted to be the golden boy, ya know?

Tldr;

Paradise!David is just a funny lil guy who most likely harbors negative feelings towards Jakob who overshadowed him despite not even being there.

Mr. Rabbit

Who David is now. An older more mature David. Something clicked in his brain and he realized 'okay actually we're all fucked. Peace out guys I'm looking out for myself.'

Brown Rabbit:

I feel like he represents the last bit of David's naivety, innocence, and child-like spirit. The white rabbit (David from the future) sees that rabbit get killed from the window. He can no longer deny what's happening. The child within him he used to retreat to when things got bad is dead. There's only the white rabbit now

I feel like that's also something represented in David's masks

The older he gets, the more devoid of joy he becomes

He becomes more and more aware of his situation.

As a child, you have the blessing of ignorance. That's why the world feels like a safer more colorful place to you until you grow up and you can no longer protected and shielded from the world.

To me, I think that's where David's trauma comes from. His ageing and how fast he's had to grow up and become a man, despite his attempts to remain a child.

In paradise, it's likely he was still pretty much "fingers in ears going LALALALALA" with his eyes closed tightly.

Brown rabbit is all that remained of his ignorance, and now it's gone, leaving behind only the White Rabbit. The David that knows and acknowledges the cruelty of his life. A ghost of his former self.

Speaking of:

White Rabbit

What are we but the products of our traumas and life experiences.

The white rabbit, David from the future, is on a journey to save his soul and be reborn. Obviously, the goal of all the corrupted souls. There is a soul we know succeeded in that and was, in fact, reborn. And that soul is Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was the collateral damage in a battle she had no hand in. She is probably the most innocent victim in all of this family feud going on, and I think because of that, Jakob allowed her to be reborn.

Something he did not allow David to do. I think it's safe to say Jakob and David do not like each other. Seems like David's plans clash with Jakob's and so he has to be taken out of the picture, and yet, David always seems like he has tricks up his sleeve.

Somehow, David is able to go back in time to save himself. What happens after that? We don't know yet

You could argue that he failed and died in the blue cube memory of Birthday. Or that he is simply still out there rn waiting for his story to be told. Both are true cuz that's the nature of Rusty Lake.

David seems to be on his own grand journey, stuck in his own Paradox, desperate to find a way to he reborn.

The thing that stands out of course is David's corrupted soul, or rather, the many different forms of it:

This is probably due to there being multiple different David(s) from the paradoxes he's lived through.

But what is the White Rabbit David if the brown rabbit is David's reborn Asura? Is the white rabbit not his Asura too?

Hard to say. We never seen a corrupted soul take form like David's white rabbit one before, and even more than that, one that retains autonomy. After all, David had enough control over himself to write and leave Dale a letter, meaning he is fully aware of what he is doing. Yet he is prone to violence the way regular corrupted souls are.

It's likely the white rabbit is an advanced form of a corrupted soul, probably the last stages before rebirth.

That or.... Well.... It's just a mask. After all, in Paradox, David spoke with a regular human voice over the phone, meaning he was not a corrupted soul.

In that case tho, if he was already reborn... Why did he say he needed to escape his current "hungry ghost" state?

Obviously Paradox is the most unreliable game narratively cuz you're just going through Dale's jumbled up memories. It's likely he's just recalling an actual conversation he had with David on the phone at the time (which still makes no sense cuz that would mean at the time David was still a human. Or it means he's recalling some conversation he had with David at some point in his life, not necessarily Birthday. OR... That's just a memory the machine is feeding him and it never really happened. Point is, paradox can't be used as a fact for anything)

Timeline is fuuuucked when it comes to David's story so uuuh

We don't know where he is now, what actually happened to him, or wtf is going on with him.

What we do take from his whoooole story tho:

Conclusion

(you did it, chat. You made it this far into my rambly post!!)

David is a really cool and very interesting character that might not appear to be so on the surface. You only really get how complex his character is when you think of everything that has happened in the games. He has a story that is either left for us to piece together or is still not yet fully explored.

To me, David is a character born of defiance and rebelliousness, as well as the need for survival and self-preservation. He is someone who has challenged his own fate, knowing damn well he's up against higher powers, but still taking the chance to save his soul. He is resilient, and stubborn, and just won't accept his fate and die. He has challenged his position in the food chain, a rabbit who is meant to be at the bottom, proving that he should not be underestimated. To me, that's worth loving and admiring. AND IM CHEERING HIM ON! GO DAVID! GO! IM SO PROUD OF YOU MY SON!!

And that's my real honest opinion on David

Thank you for reading.

[nonstoplover]

more moments to remember ~ pierre gasly (pg10)

my masterlist | my f1 masterlist

pairing: pierre gasly x single mom!reader

summary: short stories of happy memories with pierre and his newfound little family | this is pt.2 to this fic, but it can be read as a standalone piece

words: 5.7K

warnings: basically dad!pierre, kid has a name (Austin), pierre with a kid (*-*), mainly only pierre and austin with reader often missing from the scenes sorry not sorry, not betaread

a/n: i became so caught up in the idea of pierre with a kid (my baby fever isn't helping me rn) that i couldn't stop thinking about situations in which i want to see pierre and austin interact, so i just had to write it. also, i got a rb where they said they need more of pierre and austin (same) and it gave me the final push to write it. so thank you kodzusficrec, this is for you <3

tbh i literally cried a lot writing this. yes, pierre himself has this effect on me. especially when he's with a kid.

reader, please don't be a ghost, all feedback is well appreaciated, rb or comment!

taglist: formulapierre

It all starts after a race when Pierre's very first thought is instinctively to call (y/n) and Austin, just wanting to hear their voices before anyone else's. It's only been a week since she agreed to give the two of them together a chance – it took quite a bit of convincing from Pierre's side, but he was always fully determined to achieve his goals, and this time it wasn't any different.

He knows why she hesitated so long, she's been scared that her being a mom already changed everything. It did change things, but only in a good way. Ever since meeting Austin, the little boy has been Pierre's ray of sunshine even on the darker days, even only the thought of him, something (y/n) was probably too scared to notice. Scared that it would only make things difficult, him being a race car driver and them just being... them.

In her mind, he deserves something else, not a single mom with an always over-excited kid. And on the other hand, Austin has already lost one father – though without knowing him in any way –, so the last thing she'd want is for him to experience loss again, in case things didn't quite work out with her and Pierre. Especially since Pierre was his role model in life, his favourite F1 driver. Who knows how bad he would take it if one day Pierre left?

Ever since Austin was born, (y/n) only went out with a couple of guys, and no one stayed long enough for her to introduce them to her son. This was completely new. Still, Pierre's determination and him having a solution and answer to every question or fear she voiced, it all eventually led to her finally agreeing to give it a try.

Now it's been a week, and he's already so absorbed in the small family that the first people he wants to talk to as soon as he gets out of his car is them two. It's a feeling in his chest and his mind that he wants to remember forever. If he could somehow immortalise it, he would.

That's when the thought pops in his head that he should keep a list of things, moments that he never wants to forget – a separate note in his phone's notes app dedicated to (y/n) and Austin.

"What if I fly out tomorrow and we can meet again?" Pierre suggests when he's finally able to FaceTime the young woman.

Her surprised eyes momentarily freeze on the screen due to bad connection, then her almost disbelieving chuckle enters his ears through his earbuds. "You'd want to do that? You have a race weekend next week as well, don't you have to be there soon?"

"I can manage to be with you for a little while," he shrugs with a soft smile on his face – something that is just always there when he looks at her, he can't help it. When he sees the doubt still being apparent in her expression, he's swift to add, "I really want to see you again, coeur."

It only takes this one sentence to melt her resistance – and honestly, she wants to see him just as much, he's proven to be the best company she's had in a very long time, with him life seems better, easier, and way more fun. She feels like a teenager with a crush, experiencing slowly falling in love for the first time, as if she's not a mom already, as if she went back in time to when it was simple just going on dates with nice guys.

It's just that she doesn't want to cause him trouble with having to fly out to her when he has a race so close ahead. But with that sentence and that smile she can't fight it anymore. She simply says okay with a wide grin.

—

The second thing Pierre eagerly types in his special note is when he meets Austin in person again, the first time after that particular race he holds so close to his heart, when he first had the chance to really have a conversation with (y/n) and her son.

She's been reluctant to let the two boys meet again sooner, not wanting to cause unnecessary hurt for her son – she had to be sure things work out with Pierre in the first place, with his hectic schedule and being away so much, she had to be sure that the initial connection they both felt with the other wasn't just some projection of her desires, something she only imagined.

Well, turns out things definitely work out with him, actually a lot better than she could've ever expected it. They have so many things in common, their personalities matching as if it was meant to be.

When Pierre enters the apartment, following her steps, he can feel his heartbeat going fast. It's ridiculous, he hasn't been this nervous even when he met (y/n) for the first time after that race. And he knows the little guy likes him. Why is he so anxious then?

It all disappears though when he stops in the doorway she led him to, the one that leads to the living room, and Austin looks up from his spot on the carpet where he's been playing with toy race cars. For one moment he's just looking without a reaction, but then he springs into action. The absolute joy that appears on his tiny face as his eyes fully take in the driver is enough to calm Pierre down in an instant.

"Pierre came back!" Austin screams, probably directed at his mom who's standing at the side of the room, talking with the babysitter who's just getting ready to leave. (y/n) glances to the side, right at the boy, smiling wide from seeing his happy, excited expression.

The kid jumps up from his spot, leaving the cars behind without a second thought, as if they didn't even exist and he hasn't been in the middle of a race just a couple seconds beforehand, and he rushes towards the man, throwing himself against Pierre's legs, grabbing onto them tight, like he's afraid that if he didn't hold them strong enough, the driver would disappear.

It's such a warm welcome, Pierre can feel his heart filling to the brim with happiness, nearly bursting from it, and suddenly he's not sure if he can ever leave the little boy again – if yes, then it's definitely only for the feeling of getting another welcome similar to this once more when he comes back again.

—

When he experiences a happiness this huge – almost unbearable – again, it's the time he realises he's started to come to (y/n)'s apartment as if it was his too. There's no nerves anymore as he gets closer to the building or the front door, no standing around on the corridor slightly afraid to knock, then waiting for the door to open whilst smoothing out the nearly invisible wrinkles on his shirt.

Now he just gets out of the car and walks inside, calling out her name as he does so to announce his arrival. It's almost like coming home.

And then Austin bursts out of the bedroom, both his small hands full with those toy cars, his favourite toys, telling Pierre to go follow him to the living room because they have a race to do, a rematch to last time's race. He's yet to notice that the man always lets him win, he seems to think Pierre's only good at driving real cars, and not the tiny toy ones.

The man doesn't mind the slightest, he might have a really competitive personality, but as long as he can watch the young kid enthusiastically push around the miniature Alpha Tauri race car Pierre got him – he honestly struggled to see Austin play with a Red Bull and a Mercedes, something that (y/n) found very entertaining – he can actually enjoy coming in second (and last).

That one car actually became the boy's most favourite, most treasured toy, as soon as he tore the wrapping paper off and his (y/e/c) eyes fell on it. "It's like I'm you! I will always win from now on whenever I play with my friends, because it's your car I'm with!" the kid exclaimed, so sure in himself, and out of nowhere Pierre noticed tears blurring his vision.

Anyway, since Austin keeps on winning again and again, whenever he plays with Pierre, his mom or even the babysitter, his conviction has yet to break still.

—

Then comes the very moment that almost makes every happy moment he's ever had in his entire life suddenly seem less thrilling.

Pierre has decided to bring them with him one weekend to the upcoming race – and only had to reason with her for a surprisingly short time. He knows how much Austin would enjoy being in the paddock, and he himself would be more than happy to have the two of them there.

He knows it was the absolute best decision he could've made, not just when he sees the clear, genuine delight on the kid's face as he tries to take in everything around him with wide eyes, but also when he leaves to change into his race suit and comes back to find Austin proudly showing his Alpha Tauri toy car to Yuki. His teammate is smiling contentedly, asking questions from the little boy, with (y/n) watching from the side.

But the best part comes when he takes them around some more, Austin sitting in the crook of his arm so he won't get lost in-between the dozens of people rushing around the paddock and also to make sure that he gets a better view at everything. It's crazy how well the boy fits there, on his arm, as if he was meant to be there – it makes Pierre feel more than delighted, and somehow also very proud.

He doesn't even need to hold the kid with two hands anymore, like he did that very first time he held Austin like this, many moons back, for that first picture taken of the two of them – one that has since been followed by many, many more. Pierre comfortably balances the boy on his arm, his free hand reaching out in search of (y/n)'s fingers so he could intertwine them with his own.

A couple people Pierre knows better around the paddock and who are not in a hurry, approach them on their way and strike a short conversation. Not many people knew up until now that Pierre had a girlfriend – and even less that he even had a kid now.

"And who are you, little boy?" one of them asks, smiling sweetly.

Pierre glances down at the boy's face to see if he'll answer or he has to do it for the kid. "My name's Austin," comes the reply with that adorable self-assured, high-pitched voice Pierre came to adore so much in the past weeks. "I came to watch my dad race."

And this is the sentence that makes Pierre nearly drop the kid. He can hear the small gasp that escapes (y/n) at her son's announcement, and his heartrate is so high he thinks even during the races he's never experienced something like this. Glancing up at the man they've been talking to he notes the surprise in his eyes just as much. It's safe to say none of the three adults here expected such a reply – but Pierre would and will never correct it, or add any further explanation.

It's genuinely one of the most delighted he's ever been. Austin called him his dad.

—

From then on they spend even more time together, Pierre flying out any time he can to be able to be with them, with his son, or arranging for them to come meet him if he really can't get away from his tasks.

And that's how the next addition comes to his special note. One early summer day (y/n) manages to convince the kid to go out to the nearby park instead of playing with his cars at home – only with Pierre's help though. Austin seems to pay attention to his dad more now, dad somewhat taking mom's place in the top position in his eyes, but (y/n) doesn't mind. Not even the slightest bit. Her son finally has a father.

So she helps the boy get dressed, tying his shoelaces carefully so they wouldn't come undone in the predictable running around he would no doubt do. She tells them to go ahead as she locks the door, grabbing the bag she's packed with some water to drink and snacks to have in case they get hungry while out.

She catches up to them on the street, approaching the two while watching gleefully as Austin jumps around, telling some story to Pierre. The driver glances back above his shoulder to check if she's coming and flashes a smile her way when their eyes connect for a couple short seconds before his attention turns back to the kid.

Her hand slips into his immediately – it's become an instinct by now for both of them, and she falls into rhythm with her boys. Pierre reaches out without tearing his eyes away from Austin, grabbing onto the strap of her bag to take it from her, wordlessly insisting that he'll bring it instead of her with the motion of his hand gently pushing away her protesting palm she's held out in front of her.

As soon as they arrive to the park, Austin's off to the playground, befriending the kids already there without a problem – a quality (y/n) has always envied, never being someone herself to make friends easily. But maybe it's simpler for children.

They sit down on a closeby bench, immersing in their own discussion without the kid being there to direct the flow of conversation with his own stories. They talk about the past races and the upcoming ones, her being a Formula One fan since her teenage years helping her knowing quite a lot about the sport and understanding most of the things Pierre shares with her about strategy and about the car itself. And whatever's past her current knowledge, he's always more than happy to explain everything, making sure he speaks understandably but without making her feel dumb for not knowing.

When a couple hours has passed and the time comes to go back home, Pierre calls out Austin's name, the two adults standing up and gathering their bags, (y/n) checking around the bench once more to make sure they don't leave anything there – there was one time a year or so back when she and Aust accidentally left one of his toy cars underneath a bench, and he wouldn't calm down until she rushed back the same way they went home to find it for him, and it's something she never wants to experience again.

As Austin arrives to his parents, his tiny hand reaches up and moves against Pierre's palm, fingers clasping around the man's hand so casually as if that's completely normal – but he's never done it before, and so the naturality of the movement makes it even more special for the driver.

(y/n) turns back towards the boys to find Pierre grinning so wide it reaches from one ear to the other, and all of a sudden she just wants to grab his face and kiss him until they're both out of breath. He's just so amazing. The best father to her son she could've ever asked for, even if he's not the man who actually helped create said boy.

Austin's small fingers press into his skin and Pierre holds the child's hand delicately but tight enough that the connection wouldn't accidentally end by a sudden movement made by either of them. The little boy then turns his head towards his mom, grabbing onto her hand too, and even though Pierre enjoys having her touch on his skin as much as possible, holding her hand whenever they're walking somewhere, right now he doesn't mind at all that he can't do just that.

They're walking home like a real family.

—

When (y/n)'s birthday is coming up and she plans a night out with her best friends, it's the first time Pierre babysits Austin. The first time it's only the two of them. (y/n) didn't want to leave him like that, with a tiring job like that to do, and he even had the option to join her, but eventually he told her that she deserves some time spent with her friends, and her friends only, and since he loves being with Austin so much, it would never feel like a job looking after him.

That's how early in the evening she gently presses a kiss on Austin's head as he's sitting on the couch, then walks to the door with Pierre by her side. She says a quick thank you, for what is probably the hundredth time that day, and he softly shuts her up by capturing her lips with his own.

"I love you, mon chéri, have fun," he mumbles against her lips and feels them curl into a smile before she pulls away, saying back the same three words and moving out the door into the night.

"Okay, kiddo, what should we do first?" Pierre asks as soon as he's back in the living room.

Austin simply points at the controller that belongs to his favourite car race game, and Pierre happily joins the boy on the couch to spend the following hour or so with the two of them racing each other, trying to go faster and faster to gain more points.

When they grow tired, eyes having been focused on the swiftly changing screen for so long, they eat dinner – some leftover from lunch –, then decide to bake a surprise cake for (y/n) for the next day. Aust has a very clear vision about what he wants to make, trying to explain the best he can to Pierre how the cake should be in the form of a Formula One car, and preferably the same colours as an Alpha Tauri one.

It's not easy collecting every ingredient from around the kitchen and pantry, the two boys have to check almost every cupboard and cabinet, Austin sitting on Pierre's arm most of the time to be at the needed height so he can get the things they want.

A recipe is open on Pierre's phone, the screen getting more and more dusty by flour and powdered sugar as they keep on touching it with dirty fingers, right until it gets a bit difficult to read the words of the next step and he has to carefully clean it with a clean spot on the fabric of his already pretty stained shirt.

When the batter is ready, they look at pictures of race car shaped cakes online to use as inspiration and help, but eventually decide that it's way above their cake baking skills so they decide to make a normal, rectangular cake instead, and to only draw a race car on top with the coloured frosting. In the end that becomes quite the challenge all the same, both of them trying their best to make their own drawings – one car each – recognisable, but not being very successful in that, they have to admit.

With the frosting left Austin has the idea to sign the cake (as if we're giving our autograph to a fan, papa!), and they scribble something resembling their names in-between the two terrible-looking cars. Aust has the tip of his tongue peeking out from between his lips as he's concentrating deeply to not mess up the letters, having only learnt how to write his name not long ago.

When they're finished and have put the cake in the fridge, they go back to the living room to watch a movie, and even though Austin chose it and has been utterly excited throughout the first ten minutes or so, he gets more and more quiet as time passes, and eventually he falls asleep, his head laid on Pierre's lap. The driver carefully reaches out to grab the folded blanket from the armrest of the couch and covers the boy with slow, gentle movements in order to not wake him up.

(y/n) comes home not much time later, and taking off her shoes she hears some distant noise coming from the living room so she moves that way, thinking she'll find her boyfriend in there. She was right, he's sitting right there on the couch, but as the credits roll on the screen with some soft music playing in the background, his head is leant back against the headrest, eyes closed and lips slightly parted as he's fast asleep.

Noiselessly she pulls out her phone from her purse, snapping a photo of her two favourite boys in the world sleeping soundly on the couch, Pierre's hand resting on Austin's shoulder as he still lays on his lap, the little boy's hand wrapped around two of the driver's fingers. It's one of the most heartwarming sights she's ever seen, her boys sleeping so peaceful and contented, completely knocked out.

The picture immediately becomes her new lockscreen, one that would keep on making her smile every time she glances at it – and one that makes a cute blush appear on Pierre's cheeks and neck when he sees it the next morning, but not without a wide smile taking over his features all the same.

—

There soon comes the first time Pierre goes to pick Austin up from school by himself, first of many, and another addition to his favourite memories. As he gets out of the car, he can already hear the kid screaming the word dad – something he still hasn't gotten fully used to, so it still makes his heart skip a beat –, standing just outside the front door, next to his teacher and a couple of other children who are waiting for their parents.

Pierre jogs up the stairs leading to the door, immediately greeting the teacher. The woman smiles at him saying nice to meet you, then Pierre squats down to check if Austin is fully ready to leave, shoelaces tied and jacket properly zipped. He impulsively presses a kiss to the top of the kid's head as his hand grabs the small backpack hanging from Austin's shoulder.

"So you're the famous dad Austin always talks about," the teacher speaks up again, making Pierre look up from his crouching position before straightening himself, a bit of nerves creeping into his bones. "If only half of what he says is true, you're doing a fantastic job," she chuckles.

Pierre's heart feels like bursting. It's the first time he's ever been complimented in the role of a dad. Blood rushes to his cheeks as he murmurs a thank you, averting his eyes in his embarrassed happiness – still the woman can't help but notice how he somehow stands taller all of a sudden, his shoulders squared from hearing her praise.

After saying goodbye, Pierre holds his hand out to signal to his son to grab it and they make their way back to the car, Austin clearly super excited that his dad came to pick him up – he loves it when he can sit in the back with Pierre driving. He always pretends that they're in a Formula One car, racing – and in the end winning, of course. It doesn't matter to him that Pierre doesn't actually go even the tiniest bit above the speed limit. He's an F1 driver and that's all that is important.

Getting to the car Austin climbs into his seat and Pierre fastens the seatbelt carefully around him, making sure it doesn't fall in a place that would make it uncomfortable for the boy, his fingers now moving just as professionally as (y/n)'s did once back in the parking lot next to a race track, with Pierre watching on from her side, not having a clue about what the future held – only hope.

He then moves around the car to sit in the driver's seat, and as he's settling down, just about to start the car, something appears in the corner of his eye – Austin holding out a big piece of paper from his seat in the back towards him.

"What is this?" Pierre asks as he takes it from the boy.

"I made it!" the kid announces proudly. "We had to draw a happy memory we have with our family and I chose this."

Pierre's eyes move from the image of the boy in the rearview to the paper now in his hand and his breath hitches. Obviously it's not a perfect drawing, anyone could see it was made by a few-year-old kid, but it's still easily perceptible what it portrays.

He sees the figures of three people on the colourful drawing, two bigger and one small in the middle, all three holding hands. To their right, there's something that looks very much like his real-life race car, in the background probably a garage at the paddock, with Austin's crooked letters at the top saying Alfa Tauri. Pierre makes a mental note to teach the kid later how the team's name is spelled correctly, but for now he just savours the feeling overtaking him watching the drawn picture.

A happy memory with his family, and Austin chose this.

"Hey, Aust, can I keep this?" Pierre turns around in his seat to look at the boy, already thinking about how it would definitely go on his fridge, somewhere he could look at it all the time and remember this very moment.

"Sure," the boy nods with a serious look in his eyes. "But it has a price."

"Oh yeah?"

"You have to buy me ice cream on the way home and you can't tell mom."

Pierre has to bite the inside of his cheeks to repress the chuckle that's threatening to burst out, expecting nothing less from the kid. "You got it, petit."

He's definitely his mother's son.

—

As the end of the season is slowly coming to an end, Pierre decides to finally make the next move in his relationship with (y/n). One night as they're having dinner in a small restaurant, out on a date night with Austin spending the night with her parents, in the middle of a casual conversation, just as he's listening to her ramble on about the dessert they're sharing and without his eyes ever leaving her (y/e/c) coloured ones he reaches up with one hand, placing something on the table right in front of her.

(y/n) glances down mid-sentence, curious about what he's placed there, and she nearly drops the small fork she's been holding in the air with another piece of the dessert balancing on top, what she wanted to say immediately forgotten. Lightly coughing because she nearly choked on some crumbs, her eyes take in the shiny key with a dark blue ribbon delicately tied around it, with a simple name tag hanging from the end of it saying her name.

"Are you– what–" she mutters, seemingly unable to form a complete sentence.

"Would you move in with me?" Pierre asks as simply and naturally as if he's only asking whether she enjoys the dessert or not.

Her wide eyes are still trained on the key, still somewhat in shock by the sudden turn of events. They haven't even been together for a year and he'd want them to live together? He wants to live with Austin?

"I've been thinking about it for a long time, don't worry, ange, I'm sure I thought about everything," he reasons before she could voice her possible doubts and fears, reading the way her eyes move as an open book and knowing what's going on in her mind. "I truly want you and Austin to be around all the time, without any of us having to fly to somewhere else. It's enough time spent apart that we have to do because of my job, I don't want the rest of the time we could finally spend together having to be wasted away because we live apart."

She honestly feels as if all her vocabulary left her, no words in her mind anymore that she could use to somehow answer him. Her eyes get glossy with tears as a disbelieving grin appears on her lips. Pierre watches on with racing heart as the most beautiful sight unfolds in front of him.

(y/n) nods vigorously, trying to compensate the loss of words with the movements of her head, grabbing the key with slightly shaking fingers. Blinking away the teardrops she looks deep in his eyes, pressing the key to her chest, somewhere above her heart.

"I would love to," she speaks finally when words seem to come back. "And I know that Aust would love it more than anything too."

—

When their one year anniversary comes, they use the next race-free weekend and go for a little getaway trip on the northern French countryside, Austin now spending time with his other grandparents, Pierre's parents in Rouen – the little boy stealing their hearts about five minutes after arriving when Pierre first took his new family home to introduce them during the summer break of last year.

The couple spends the day after their arrival sightseeing in the nearby villages, walking hand in hand and enjoying the feeling of not having to rush anywhere for once, and then they cook pasta for dinner together. Even when they have the chance to eat at restaurants, they rarely do, somehow the act of cooking together is far greater joy for both of them most of the time.

Before sitting down at the dining table right next to the window, with the colours of the gorgeous spring sunset seeping through the lace curtain and pouring onto the table, Pierre pulls out a candle from his bag, placing it carefully on the table and lighting it as (y/n)'s giggles fill the air. "What a romantic soul you are," she remarks joyfully.

"Is it too much?" he glances up from his task grinning.

"Nope, never," she replies with a single shake of her head.

They peacefully eat dinner, a comfortable silence hanging over them for a couple minutes only broken by the jingle of the cutlery mildly hitting the plates with each bite they take of the delicious dish.

"Actually, I wanted to–"

"I think this is the perfect time–"

They start talking at the same time, both of them bursting into a soft fit of laughter when they realise how in sync they really are.

"You go first," Pierre smiles, motioning for her to say whatever she's wanted to just a minute earlier.

(y/n) clears her throat, placing her fork down on the side of her plate. "So, as I was saying, I think this is the perfect time for me to give you something." With that she leans to the side and reaches into her handbag that's been laying on the ground next to the dining table, his eyes following with slight confusion. Didn't they agree on no anniversary gifts?

Without another word spoken, she hands something small wrapped in brown paper to him above the table. Pierre eyes her for a moment, letting his fingers wrap around the object without him actually paying attention to the movement of them, but he can't read anything from her (y/e/c) orbs.

He slowly looks down and starts unwrapping it, right until the paper falls down – nearly landing in his remaining pasta – and he lets out a gasp. In-between his fingers there's a pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test.

"Is this–?" his eyes shot up to her face, now split in two by her absolutely gorgeous grin.

"Yes," she lets out a giggle. "We're gonna have a baby."

"A baby," Pierre repeats in slight disbelief, tears gathering in his eyes.

"You're going to be a father, for real this time."

This sentence breaks him from the trance he's been in and he lets out a cheery whoop, jumping up from his seat and rushing to her side, falling to his knees by her chair. His hands gently grab the sides of her face and pull her in for a heated kiss, the wet, salty stains his rolling teardrops made on his skin brushing against her cheek.

Ever since he became a stepfather to a toddler, he's been dreaming of having his own child with (y/n) – dreaming of how the said child would look like, with her elegant, perfectly shaped nose and his piercing icy blue eyes. And now his dream will actually come true.

Mid-kiss one of his hands leaves her cheek and comes to a rest on her belly, wanting the baby in there to feel a connection with their father no matter how impossibly tiny they still might be. When they break apart in need of oxygen, (y/n) giggles once more, eyes gazing down at the way he's softly pressing his palm into her stomach.

"Austin's gonna be a big brother," Pierre notes dreamily.

"Yes, he will," she replies joyously.

As the driver slowly stands back up again to return to his seat, she speaks up again. "What is it you wanted to say?" Pierre has to force his mind from going a hundred miles an hour from this beautiful piece of news to think back to a couple minutes before, having completely forgotten that he was about to say anything in the first place.

Then he suddenly feels the small box pressing into his thigh inside his pocket and everything comes back to him. "Oh, I actually planned on making this evening special and beautiful and memorable, but I guess you already succeeded in that, mon ange," he chuckles.

Nevertheless his fingers move inside his pocket and he pulls the box out, putting it on the table between them, in the meantime opening it so she can immediately catch a glance inside. Now it's her turn to gasp, her eyes landing on the simple yet dazzling ring nestling inside the little velvety box.

"I wanted to ask you a question," Pierre continues, even though half of his mind is still somewhere else – in the not so far future, his inner eyes picturing himself with a newborn baby in his arms, the young woman, his wife laying on the hospital bed, exhausted and with her hair messy but still looking perfect, smiling blissfully happy up at him. "Mon amour, will you marry me?"

.::the end::.

my masterlist | my f1 masterlist

[jwirecs]

Recommended BTS Fics of November 💖

hello, hello! here are my bts recs of november! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

10 Hours || @angelikook​​💕✅

↳ When your three best friends want to stay at school overnight, you can’t say no. After all, nothing will go wrong, right? Well, everything goes wrong, actually, but in ways you never imagine.

Fall Back In Love || @bukguhope​​ 🔞💕💔✅

↳ jungkook somehow grew a reputation of sleeping around on campus, leaving him lonely and inexperienced with relationships. so when you, his old childhood best friend moves onto campus, he discovers what a relationship can feel like as he finds himself falling in love with you

Matilda || @babystrcandy​🔞💕💔✅💯💯

↳ Loneliness had always been a constant for you, haunting you like a ghost; until your older brother’s best friend, Min Yoongi, came into your life. You both promised each other something back then - you’d always have his support and he’d always have yours. But with time and age, you weren’t sure how much that all still stood to be true.

The Lucky One || @babystrcandy​​🔞💕💔🔄

↳ Growing up you only had one goal: beat Jeon Jungkook. Sometimes you’d win, other times you’d lose. Sometimes he’d lose, other times he’d win. But you’d both walk away from the match thinking the other was the lucky one.

Vows || @hamsterclaw​​🔞💕💔🔄 (not too sure if it ended at part 2, but just incase its still ongoing)

↳ You've been in your arranged marriage with Yoongi for five years, and he's never once retaliated for anything you've done to him. One day you realise you've lost your appetite for provoking him, and you set about trying to win his heart instead.

Already Mine || @i-am-baechu​​🔞💕💔🔄💯

↳ “I do.” Two simple words that changed her whole world. The man that gave her love that she never had before and a child that looked just like him with her eyes, a story for the ages. It wasn’t until the mornings changed and the warmth he once had turned cold. Nothing made sense but at the same time everything did. All she wanted was him but maybe that's not what he wants...

Rope Bunny (Helping Hands Halloween Special) || @euphoricfilter​​​​​​🔞💕✅💯

↳ Yoongi had never been too fond of Halloween. Hated that one tacky day of the year with every fibre of his being. All it takes however, is your little surprise to convince him that maybe, just maybe, Halloween isn't all that bad.

On Camera || @agustdiv1ne​​​​​ 🔞💕✅💯

↳ jeon jungkook, also known as kookiemonster97, was a youtuber and, more importantly, your boyfriend. your sex life was great, amazing really, but what happens when he asks if he can film you two one day? he did have the equipment, after all.

90 Days || @ttaehyungtrashh​​​​​💕💔🔄💯

↳ All you want is for your new cat hybrid friend, his unwilling older wolf hybrid brother and his other 5 brothers to keep safe and warm during the winter.

About Love || @mochiimac​🔞💕💔🔄

↳ Becoming a best selling thriller author? Part of the plan. Living in the city and isolating yourself from everyone? Part of the plan. Inheriting your late uncles home in the woods, his sassy assistant and fortune after he died mysteriously? Not part of the plan. Oh, and he failed to mention the 7 ‘surprises’ he left you as well.  And come to think of it… was his death an accident? Or is your imagination going wild again?

Daddy’s Money Makes The World Go Round || @underthe-northernlight​​​🔞💕💔🔄

↳ The daughter of a filthy rich businessman is gifted hybrids by her father. But if only he knew that would lead to her gaining the confidence she will need to break free from what he deems the right place for her. Follow her as she learns to navigate the worlds and stay alive.

Pet Food || @moonlightkoo​​​​​💕💔🔄💯

↳ Taehyung never wanted to own hybrids. Jungkook just wanted to be independent. You didn't want anything. But somehow you all ended up together, and nothing better could've ever happened.

Purrfection || @moonlightkoo​​​​💕💔🔄💯

↳ Bangtan-Mansion’s security camera footage shows something very interesting.

Things That Matter More || @leewriting​​🔞💕💔✅

↳ At first, getting a new roommate after your friend had moved out appalled you. Just thinking about sharing your space with a stranger put you on edge, but as the weeks went by and the rent went up you had no other choice but to post that stupid ad. In many ways living with Jungkook is perfect for an introverted med student like yourself. He pays rent on time and is seldom home leaving the apartment quiet and clean. On the other hand, there is the small problem of him stumbling in at three in the morning, hurt and letting blood stain your new carpet.

Chronicles of My Witchy GF || @yoonieper​​🔞💕✅

↳ Just Jungkook and a few cute tales about his witchy girlfriend~

Claret Cravings | Skin Of The Mother, Mouths Of The Babes || @vvh0adie​​💕✅

↳ Emotions run high when you tell your lil’ vampire bats that they won’t be drinking cow’s blood this week. It stresses you out, and they unfortunately feel the brunt of it.

Forever || @oddinary4bts​​🔞💕💔✅

↳ three years ago, your relationship with jin ended in fights and tears. When life puts him back on your path, you catch a glimpse of light in his eyes that you thought had died when you broke up. Will your relationship blossom into a well-deserved forever or will you lose the love of your life again?

Repeat Offense || @gimmethatagustd​​🔞💕💔✅

↳ The are only two constants in life: the promise of death and the infuriating existence of the man who ruined your life. Will your immortal punishments keep you in an infinite loop, or will you one day be able to rid the world of the evil that is Kim Seokjin?

Resurrection || @bonny-kookoo​​​💕💔🔄

↳ In which you’re saved by the very thing that’s been trying to kill you.

Sunrises & Liquor || @aamalaaa​​🔞💕💔🔄

↳ after a failed academic pursuit and a few meaningless and disappointing relationships, you decided to go back to what you never thought you would: the bar industry. There you find a family, friends, heartache, misunderstandings and one particular barman who just won’t get out of your head.

Three Tangerines || @kithtaehyung​​🔞💕💔🔄 

↳ “when yoongi told you he would be there if you needed anything, this isn’t what he had in mind”

Til Death Do Us Part || @justimajin​​​🔞💕💔✅

↳ If someone told you that you’d be marrying the Kim Namjoon, you would think you were being lied to, or worse, that you were hallucinating. However, fate seems to have it’s own ways of making the impossible possible and before you even know it, the title of Mrs. Kim is bestowed onto you. There’s just one problem: you’re not sure if Kim Namjoon is the person he says he is and the truth of your own identity is dangling by the strength of a mere thread.

Turn Back Time || @raplinesmoon​​🔞💕💔✅

↳ After total humiliation at his middle school baseball try outs, Kim Seokjin wants nothing more than for his awkward years to fade away until he’s thirty. Cue a magic baseball glove, and his wish is finally granted. Seokjin suddenly wakes up seventeen years later, now the star pitcher of the team he’d always dreamed of playing for. Confused and overwhelmed at the prospect of the new life waiting for him, he turns to the only person who seems to understand him — you. Will Seokjin learn what it truly means to be thirty, flirty, and thriving? Or will he find himself wishing he could turn back time?

The Art Critic || @mooniyooni​​💕✅

↳ (just yoongi being a dad)

Midnight’s Minuet || @bangtansmauyeondan​​ 🔞💕💔✅💯💯

↳ While gallivanting around the world pursuing his love for music and architecture, Yoongi was forced to come back home when Seokjin, his older brother, asked him for help to run the family business. Having been born with a silver spoon, Yoongi longed for a bit of normalcy and independence; hence, agreeing with Seokjin’s request didn’t come without any of his own conditions— first, he’s going to oversee the hotel’s kitchen; second, he’s gonna let him live a normal life— no luxury cars, no high-rise building apartment, no special treatment. Yoongi was pleased that everything seemed to be going well with his return… until he met you, the roadblock to everything his brother has agreed to.

Camboy!Tae Mini Series || @hisunshiine​​​🔞💕💔🔄

↳ (tae being a wonerful camboy. thats it, we love that.)

Compromise || @here2bbtstrash​​🔞💕✅

↳ you're torn between the two loves of your life - but maybe you don't have to choose.

Red Riding Hood (Petrichor Drabble) || @purpleyoonn​​💔✅

↳ It was Halloween in Seoul and you were talking about your home traditions compared to South Korea’s with Haneul and Kingpin when you were interrupted. Now, your mates tried to tease you, but you were the one doing the teasing.

Do check out all of the other BTS Fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

[mari-lair]

I like the choice to have Akane grabbed Aoi’s neck in chapter 69, I feel like people don’t get the point, or simply turn a blind eye to the context of why Akane did that.

It oddly parallels Mitsukou in chapter 35.

Why did Kou grab Mitsuba's face instead of the shoulder or anywhere else? Because Mitsuba turned his back on him, and Kou can’t handle Mitsuba dissapearing again. He is forcing Mitsuba to face him, he screams when he said “Remember it!!” because being remembered is very important to Kou.

Kou needs to make sure Mitsuba is listening to him, he can't accept being forgotten.

Kou is going through a lot after failing Mitsuba’s ghost, so this desperation, this need to be heard, is only natural when he finds the supernatural Mitsuba.

Now let’s focus on Akane and Aoi, and remember that just like hell of mirrors, chapter 69 does not exist in a void: There is context.

Akane’s is a very bold and proud person, when he feels like what he wants to say is important and needs to be heard, he has always made sure the person he is talking to is looking at him in the eye. He does not care if he has to be rough to get their attention, or if he comes across as violent.

It’s a part of his character since his intro arc, all the way back to chap 25, with the clock keepers.

And Aoi is no exception.

On their day-to-day, Aoi pays attention to him, and even when she doesn’t, her behavior makes her feel ‘happy’, which is what Akane wants most, so he doesn’t need her to look his way. He believes she knows she is loved, and that she genuinely enjoys life even with her flaws and fake smiles. The second he loses faith that Aoi is happy and knows he loves her, he takes a more aggressive approach.

It is very important to him that Aoi feel loved, and that she understands how much he loves her, so after she attacks him with her centipede, he isn’t gentle with her, he makes sure she is immobilized and looking at him in the eye when he confesses again. He makes sure she is paying attention.

He have also been stabbed, which, understandably, put him in a bad mood. Just look at his face, he is in a shit ton of pain.  

Since he can tell Aoi will not go back to the human world on her own, understanding by her behavior that she will go to No.6 instead, he chose to drag her with him, something he recognises is selfish, and apologizes for.

Despite clearly being in pain, his original goal to bring Aoi back wasn’t shaken: He want her by his side, but he want her alive and well, not in this hole they fell into.

He has been apologetic during this whole arc.

It’s been failure after failure ever since he let No.6 kidnap her.  

He treated her with the same lovesick behavior as usual even after he blacked out from the pain of being stabbed.

Akane isn’t recentful that she stabbed him and planed to leave him to die, in fact, the self-destructive boy acts as if it wasn’t her fault at all, he never even comment on his injury (only to point out how ‘kind’ she is for patching him up)

What ‘flipped his switch’, and made him drop the ‘loverboy’ attitude were Aoi’s words. Her desire to disappear and her explanation as to why she feels like she should remove herself in the first place.

Kou was scared Mitsuba would disappear if he let go. Akane knew Aoi would disappear if he let her go. She even said ‘goodbye’.

So when he finally understood what the problem was and what had to be communicated. He did not hesitate, he already failed enough this entire day, he will make sure she listens.

He went for the face like Kou because he is also desperate, he forced her to face him because he can’t handle her running away.

Akane needs Aoi to look at him in the eye and listen to him. The message needs to get across.

Akane was far more aggressive with her than usual but his actions are still careful. He does not choke her, at no point is it implied Aoi’s neck hurt, or that she have trouble breathing, as a choking character would.

Here is kou being choked on chapter 20 as an exemple. (Shoutout to @bpzau-art​  for pointing out how diferent chocking is despicted in the manga )

Akane doesn’t want to hurt her after all, he just want her attention, that’s all. This isn’t revenge on Aoi or a power trip. He said “I wasn’t planning on telling you this” because he know it would hurt Aoi, so he didn’t want to do it.

This is his attempt to force Aoi, a girl insecure and yet arrogant enough to want to run away from her life over the idea she might be betrayed, to stay quiet and listen to him.

And the message does get across.

Even when his hold grows laughably loose, not even holding her neck, just lightly touching her chin, Akane still has her full attention. Aoi didn’t cry when she was thrown into the water, she broke out of her detached self and cried when Akane said he hates her, and she believed.

He got her attention, despite wanting to run away from the start, Aoi ended up staying and listening.

His smile only stops being tense and pained and fake when it becomes clear his message got across and Aoi understood what he wanted to tell: That he hates her habit to distance herself, but not her. That he can see her ugly side just fine but still love her.

Just compare it for a moment. This is a happy Akane:

This isn’t:

[polyhexian]

*holds up a weird plotbunny* So this one's kinda different. It's not quite Agony and not really eventually and is kinda mostly inspired by that second-to-last shot of the Jabberwocky animatic.

Jasper dies.

It goes down exactly like it does in Jabberwocky. The moments after happen the same way we saw them in the Collector's memory in Agony. At first glance, there's no difference.

There's a lot of aspects about magic that TOH never fleshed out. I don't even think that's because of the whole cancellation debacle, I think it just wasn't important to the story. Aside from the basics, the details about how magic works are delightfully vague and give a lot of leeway to play around with--even if it's annoying that some fields of magic were barely touched on at all.

We don't really know much about oracle magic in general, but ghosts and spirits exist. Hooty coughed up a bunch that one time. We don't really know how they occur, but if our own ghost lore has anything to do with it…

Jasper died desperate to protect his child. If you want to go the unfinished business route, Hunter is still in Belos's clutches. Jasper's final moments were intensely emotional and unjust and pretty much perfect to cause a haunting.

Except he doesn't haunt a physical place.

Hunter's nannies remark on how unusual it is for a baby to sleep through the whole night. He'll wake up when he's hungry or needs a diaper change, but never for no reason. Belos has never had an infant Grimwalker before so he chalks it up to the lack of humanity and spins some words about the Titan's small blessings, blah blah blah.

Hunter rarely has bad dreams as a child. Sometimes one will try to take hold after a bad day, but it's always pushed aside, and it almost feels like someone he can't see takes his shoulders from behind and gently steers him away to kinder thoughts. (When he was very young, it was a much larger hand holding his own, and shaggy blonde hair and bright magenta eyes like his and a gentle smile as he was led to nicer thoughts. But that stopped before he could remember it.)

As Hunter grows older and his responsibilities and expectations pile up, it gets harder to find kinder thoughts to steer to. But the nightmares are still held at bay. The nights after a punishment when he's cried himself to sleep, he dreams of strong arms holding him against a broad chest, his head tucked under someone's chin, and he doesn't know why but he feels safe.

Jasper is…idk, how does one cope with being dead and accidentally haunting your son's mindscape? It wasn't PURPOSEFUL that's for sure. There's so much that can go wrong here. But for the first few years it's like, Hunter's a BABY, he's a TODDLER, at the very least Jasper can be there for him for now! Crap he's learning how to talk, better back off, wouldn't do for Hunter to start telling people about having an imaginary friend. Except double crap, Hunter's life is shit, there's no way Jasper won't help him, he'll just have to make sure he manifests in Hunter's dreams mostly as a sensation and faceless if he has a form at all.

Obviously this can't go on forever cuz that'd be unfulfilling for the plot but idk what would actually trigger them meeting, so to speak. Hunter passes out on his mountain trial or gets knocked out during training/a mission and Jasper is desperate to get him to wake up again? Hunter innocently hyperfixates on oracle magic and mindscapes for a month, realizes from his readings that his dreams are actually really unusual, and purposefully dives into his subconscious to confront Jasper himself? Darius is a jerk to Hunter and Jasper is so angry about it that he accidentally fully manifests in Hunter's dreams while he's angrily pacing around the mindscape that night and when he realizes Hunter is staring at him he just kinda freezes awkwardly like, shit?

Also not sure how to navigate the reveal… I feel like they have to come to some kind of terms or agreement with each other. Like, the end goal here is that Hunter 1) Understands that yes, he's been haunted his whole life, and 2) Understands that he cannot tell anyone about it.

It's not even for Jasper's sake, though Hunter might think it's for Jasper's sake. I imagine one of Jasper's biggest fears is some oracle witch realizing that Hunter has a ghost in his brain and telling Belos. Thank Titan Osran doesn't pay much attention to the kid. Jasper doesn't really want to haunt his kid, but he REALLY doesn't want to deal with the fallout of an exorcism. If Belos learned that Jasper has been haunting Hunter this whole time, he'd kill Hunter immediately, just as a precaution.

I also imagine Jasper wouldn't come clean about everything for a very long time. Belos will let Hunter live so long as he's loyal. Jasper would love to get Hunter away from Belos, but he's dead. So Hunter has to stay loyal until there's a viable escape route. Jasper isn't going to spill everything about how Hunter's a Grimwalker and Belos is evil and Hunter needs to run away, it won't help and it'll add to the poor kid's stress and he'll have to pretend he didn't know these things and then he'll slip up and Belos will kill him. All Jasper can really do is offer emotional support and advice.

But this is Hunter we're talking about so like. A little emotional support and advice goes a LONG way. Hunter becomes extremely attached to his live-in brain ghost, who may or may not be his family. Look at this, an AU where Hunter actually wants to maintain his sleep schedule because it gives him access to the one person who gives him positive attention, even if that person is incorporeal, and also dead. He infodumps about whatever he's reading about lately, or he rambles about some issue he's having while Jasper helps him think through the problem solving, and he really appreciates all the tips Jasper gives him about fighting and using the artificial staff. (Maybe in this AU Jasper actually teaches Hunter how to teleport, not Lilith.)

Hunter would dive into oracle magic over this, too. Just a personal side project, y'know, no big deal. Idk how much oracle magic a magicless witch could use, Luz at least seemed to be able to use that one crystal ball a bit. But at the very least Hunter could probably establish a better link to his mindscape, allowing him to choose to talk to Jasper even when he's awake.

And that's all the general ideas I have for this, I don't have very many specific ones, but here:

Belos starts in on the child abuse, and Jasper realizes that Belos didn't hurt him because Jasper was imperfect, Belos hurt him because Belos hurts people, and Belos was always going to hurt Hunter.

Would Darius's relationship with Hunter continue as it did in canon, or would Jasper decide "screw this" and tell Hunter exactly what to say to Darius to make Darius realize "holy shit is this Jasper's kid and am I shooting myself in the foot here??"

Hunter really does like Jasper but as the years go by Jasper slowly starts insinuating that he doesn't like Belos and by canon he might even be trying to get Hunter to question Belos because he's getting desperate and it causes a bit of tension.

Luz and the gang trying to talk or argue or fight with Hunter and he grunts and glares at her but his standoffishness is also covering for the fact that his attention is split by Jasper going SHE KINDA HAS A POINT, MAYBE YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO HER, ASK IF YOU CAN CRASH ON THEIR COUCH.

Flapjack chooses Hunter and is also fully aware that Jasper is present and both of them are like "what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck"

Hunter and Jasper being absolute dumbasses who reinforce each other's dumbassery over very stupid things. Hunter goes undercover at Hexside like "I bet teenagers like authority and rules!" And Jasper has never been a teenager and is too dead to read parenting books but he did know some scouts who joined the coven as teenagers so he's like "Sounds right to me!"

As Hunter's friendship develops with Willow, Jasper watches all the trees in Hunter's mindscape slowly morph into willow trees.

Hollow Mind happens and through the handwavey powers of mindscape magic Jasper also manages to be there somehow. Caleb Wittebane's Hallucination Ghost is also lurking in Belos's mindscape and the two of them just stare at each other for a minute. Belos sees Jasper but figures he's just some weird manifestation of his guilt for killing his brother's clones, even when Jasper punches him in the face while the kids escape.

Hunter having his melt-down post-Hollow Mind and freaking out because YOU KNEW??? And Jasper tries to apologize and tries to calm him down but Hunter is so upset that he just shuts down that mental connection and refuses to sleep for 24 hours until he passes out at Hexside. He expects Jasper to show up and yell at him or try to explain or something, but instead his dreams that night are like the ones he had as a kid--strong arms and supportive silence and apologetic love.

Belos tries to possess Hunter in TTT and Jasper is just like SURPRISE BITCH. It doesn't go well for Belos, but it goes much better for Flapjack.

Idk what the endgame would be here, exactly, but I feel like Jasper can't haunt Hunter forever. It's not fair to either of them, Hunter needs privacy in his own mind and Jasper needs to pass on peacefully. But if you go the unfinished business route, well, Hunter is safe after Belos is dead, and he has real living friends and a support network now, so Jasper COULD move on finally. A bittersweet ending.

Hdjsjdnnf Ghost Dad (1990)

Maybe he tells him oh, he's the memory of the last Golden guard here to help train him, yeah, sure, that's most of the truth!

I do also kind of like the idea of him manifesting as like a Ghost-Ghost sometimes because. I want him to meet Papa Titan. I want him to Learn All The Lore. Also to go play cards with kings dad when Hunter is hyperfixating on like algebra or something that jasper finds boring and a little frightening

GOD tho... Ghost jasper running into ghost Caleb in Belos' mindscape.and they stare at each other in silence. I'm imagining Jaspers lips parting with this look of shock and apprehension like he wants to say something, but then he hears Hunter cry out in the distance as he gets schlorped up by the ground and his eyes linger for just a moment before he turns and runs in his direction... And you just see Caleb's head turn silently to follow him, then his expression shift ever so slightly toward pity before the camera cuts back to the action

And the DRAMA of brain ghost j-

Oh my god. Brain ghost jasper. Oh my god

The DRAMA of brain ghost jasper jumping from the darkness in front of Luz and hunter between them and Belos and hunter being like :0 when Belos recognizes jasper and is fucking PISSED to see him.

I don't even know how this would fit in but I have this image in my head of Darius sneering at little Hunter and saying like your predecessor would be ashamed of you and jasper is so fucking filled with vicious anger and passion that he just sort of snaps forward and accidentally possesses the little guy. Tiny little like ten years old hunter staring up at Darius with an older man's eyes and-- I don't even know what if have him say but it would be something sharp and so unsettling it fully throws Darius the fuck off his game like hang on what the hell. And jasper is immediately like oh fuck oh shit [poof] leaving hunter like what. The hell was that. Why did I just say that

Oh my god possession arc brain ghost jasper..... R/possessthemback

[gem-tavvy]

IMPROMPTU TAVROS NITRAM WRITING COURSE

VOL. 2 ~ OF HEROES AND VILLAINS

(note: originally this was not gonna be a fully fledged tavros writing post. it started as just talking about tavros' culpability in jake harley's death, but later i get into some heavier stuff that i feel is worth addressing. in order to write tavros, you have to understand what he goes through in canon itself.

a lot of people will tell you that tavros was "done dirty" by homestuck, or that hussie didn't do a good job of writing him. i will not ever say this. i believe that in order to understand and appreciate tavros, you need to understand and appreciate what happens to him in canon. even the bad.

if all you see in tavros is his nice interactions with other characters, you are missing the point. tavros is a deeply tragic character who interacts deeply with a lot of homestuck's greater themes. childhood and adulthood, loss of innocence, abuse, trauma, heroism, independence. all of it.

i don't think homestuck would have been better if all the bad stuff that happened to tavros didn't happen. that would have made it a far less interesting and impactful story. and even if i would have enjoyed a happier ending for him, i understand that that was not what the author wanted to write and portray. because in the end, i did not write homestuck. neither did you. all we can do is enjoy and analyze it. we cannot demand any more from it.

before i get to the actual post, i also wanna state for the record that i think the idea that tavros didn't get a satisfying arc is just flat-out wrong. but i'll save that topic for when i get the chance to delve into GHOST tavros, because that storyline is very dear to me.)

all i'm saying is that the idea that tavros "killed" grandpa harley feels like a misunderstanding. technically speaking, the only thing tavros DID was commune with bec to redirect a bullet!

think about his wording here. "aS A WONDERFUL BONUS AND COINCIDENCE," "aND AS FORTUNE WOULD HAVE IT,"

tavros's only intent was to save jade's life. we should REALLY be blaming bec here for jake's death, not tavros. imagine if you told or asked someone to save another person from being crushed by a falling piano, and in order to do that, they threw another innocent bystander under it instead. is it YOUR fault that the person you delegated to thought a murder was the best way to achieve your goal? probably not!

and of course, when tavros recounted this tale to jade, he spoke about it as if it was a good thing. culturally speaking, for trolls - a child and a lusus is a natural familial unit, and adults are fucking SCARY. his nonchalance about the situation was understandable up until jade explained it to him.

now, what tavros is REALLY guilty of is being incredibly awkward when trying to ask a girl out. i see a lot of people take this part in a really bad faith and uncharitable light. they see him as a creepy, predatory weirdo, but that's deeply unfair.

you have to remember how much bullshit he's gone through at this point. he spent a lot of time being harassed by vriska, but when aradiabot beat her to near-death and she tried to psychically convince him to put her out of her misery, he became deeply traumatized, and fell into a deep depression for the remainder of the game. he spent more time asleep on prospit than awake.

after the trolls had to hide away in the veil, kanaya and equius collaborated to saw off tavros's legs ahd replace them with robotic ones.

this was very explicitly not something tavros asked for, but something imposed on him for "his best interest," as it were. desperate for something to ground himself, tavros hyperfocuses on his new legs as a source of self esteem. he feels awful after the vriska god-tier incident, but maybe if he can be more like her, robot prosthesis included, he'll be better! she kept making fun of him for the disability she caused. she wanted him to be like her. now he is!

that's why he tries to meddle in jade's past. why he starts referring to himself with the ableist, derogatory terms vriska used against him. why he rejects rufio and proclaims his utter fakeness. tavros is completely unraveling at this point in the story. this conversation is deeply uncomfortable to witness, not just because tavros is coming across as an awkward creep, but because this is the compounded culmination of everything vriska did to him. all her tormenting, her manipulation, over all the time she's known him. tavros is at his rock bottom, and is trying to emulate vriska in a last-ditch effort to regain some control over his life.

after tavros gets to experience the singular sensation of being on the other side of his experience with vriska's domineering advances, (though i should reinforce here that tavros backed down pretty quickly after jade's rejection and understood her feelings) he gets contacted by vriska herself.

vriska, of course, sees his attempts to emulate her for what it is. on some level i am sure it burned her just a little to know that that's how he saw her - if that's how he tried to mimic her. with jade not reinforcing vriska's method with reciprocation and vriska herself tearing him down definitively (and reinforcing the idea that she isn't really even worthy of emulation; she helped create bec noir, endangering everyone) tavros doesn't have anything left. all the walls are torn down. his childhood innocence was destroyed. his chance at a normal life, gone. romance, utterly tainted. every single fantasy and bit of joy he could prop himself up on was systematically burned to a crisp, and he had only one thing left.

anger. pure, righteous anger, the kind he should have been feeling this whole time.

it took her a long time, but she did it. she got tavros to "grow up," in some way or another. his whole life, he's just wanted to keep to himself. to play games, to rap, to have fun. to be a kid. but she paralyzed him. she traumatized him. and when the last fantasy he was clinging on to was the idea that maybe vriska was right, that she was a good person all along, that she was helping him - she disillusioned him.

this part of [s] wake is kind of the perfect summation to this. the host plush: a symbol of his childhood innocence. a game he used to play that made him happy. fiduspawn - a game in which the host plush is destroyed in order to give the a fiduspawn life. by decapitating it, tavros is at last symbolically shedding his childhood, and by using it to threaten vriska with death, also shedding his natural aversion to conflict and violence.

if this were any other story, tavros would have triumphed over vriska, slaying the treacherous bully and being all the more heroic because of it. but this is homestuck. tavros was heroic, sure, but being heroic isn't always a good thing. sometimes being a hero is the worst thing you can be. vriska was a hero. bro strider was a hero. bro strider's heroism broke dave - made him loathe the idea of heroism. sure, dave never accomplished his destiny, but he's happier.

tavros was being heroic in this scene. but there's a reason that gods in homestuck can only ever be killed by heroic means or just. heroism is a heavy burden.

that's one of the most important lessons in homestuck.