#he is my stupid bitch wife btw

[flutt3rb4tz]

i still need to finish silent hill 2 but theres genuinely something so grossly beautiful about how it tells its story. like even when im frustrated bcs the game fucking hates me or im lost or when im joking theres just something so enthralling about the world.

the narrative is so fucking impactful that it doesnt need you to take it seriously. you can howl with laughter after blasting past a laying figure on the street with the funniest visual glitch ever and the game still makes you feel the same dread it doesnt need you to be genuinely scared all the time because its such an uncomfortable experience by default that it still keeps you unsettled. even when you are distracted

like i knew i was safe in The One Part In The Museum but i was still scared shitless!! i still ran down there like shaking because it was fucking scary! it was completely safe but that didn't fucking matter!! and silent hill managed to do that through NEARLY NOTHING!!! a few enemies that are easy to take care of and a weird room! thats it!

n dont get me started on character. i love the characters so much

[babygirl-riley]

Hii🌸 if u don't mind would u pls write for simon w fem reader who's having a difficult pregnancy??:'( if not that's ok, luv ur stuff btw🩷

In Sickness and Health

Simon’s heart breaks when watching going through your first pregnancy

A/N: Omg i watched my old co worked go through a hard pregnancy. It never looks easy no matter how it is going. I love this idea too ❤️

Warnings: sickness, pregnancy, hard pregnancy, underlining depression, arguments, marriage, soft!simon, husband!simon, dad!simon, fluff, little angst, swearing

simon x reader guide

simon x reader fluff/angst

When you found out you were pregnant, it was obvious. No period. Your cravings became intense. You threw up every fucking morning. Simon and you were excited that you were pregnant, people encouraging you that the morning sickness would pass. Instead. It came harder and longer. You cramped all the time, you bled once. Thinking you lost the baby when in fact you didn’t. Doctor reassured that it was normal in some women.

However, both of you didn’t expect the pregnancy to get harder than what people said it would have been. Your mom even said that what you are going through isn’t what she did. You are through your third trimester and nothing changed. Eventually your midwife came to put fluids in you since you couldn’t hold anything in. Throwing up was your new aesthetic. It got harder for you to work so you had to quit your job and stay home. Best friends with your toilet, you slept there day and night until your body grew bigger.

Simon was ordered from Price to stay home until the baby arrived and settled. Price heard from Simon about how the pregnancy has been not the best. You been up all night not being able to sleep from being too hot to throwing up to not being comfortable. Which caused Simon not to sleep, due to being worried about you. He would hold your hair up if you were too tired to even notice it was falling inside the toilet. Simon would wash your hair as you cried. Shushing you to keep you from having a panic attack.

You hated all of what was happening to you where you couldn’t enjoy being pregnant. Counting the days not to see your kid but to have her out. It was like you were hating the fact of everything no that was happening. Feeling like a curse then a miracle. Simon was the opposite even though he was heartbroken to see his love going through only hardship, the thought of having a mini both of you made him warm inside. Bringing it up once had you excited until you would hurl once more.

Simon would bend over backwards for anything you needed. Needed a bath Done. Needed a craving. Done and done again. Needed to be carried to the bed. Done. Needed a belly lift. Done. Anything was possible for Simon if it was for you. Nothing would stop him from helping you.

Was it perfect? Not always. Even when you both were tired and exhausted, you would fight, he would always be right by you. No matter what the fight was about, lately things that were ridiculous.

You both finished a fight and made up as he pet your damp hair, rubbing his other hand on your swollen belly. You were laying on his chest in bed, having your belly rest on the comfort of the mattress.

Sweat consumed you, your body working overboard on making your child and keeping you from not dying from everything else. It was silent before you sobbed. You were done, nothing for you. Your feet hurt. You felt like a whale. And your husband hated you. You’ve been only a bitch since you got pregnant and you were done.

You kept repeating in your head that he truly didn’t want to be here that you were just an excuse of a wife. That he never wanted to help you. That he wished you were gone. All because he didn’t get you your pebble ice. Simon had to leave the house for a while and what did he bring back? The stupid fucking ice. You called him a coward for leaving and not say anything about you said just for him to gift you?

Simon’s heart broke when your son burst out, your body shaking. Concern written on his face as he made your face turn to him. “Love what’s wrong?”

You cried harder as you laid your face in his shirt. “I want her out. And I feel terrible that I don’t want to do this anymore. That I have been a bitch. That I can’t stop throwing up. That this whole pregnancy hasn’t been what people have been saying.” He listened to you rubbing your back in soothing patterns. “I’ve been a terrible wife. I can’t believe I have been awful to you. You only been kind and generous and loving.”

Simon shook his head. “I could never do what you are doin’ dove,” He said quickly as he rubbed your shoulders. “This pregnancy is not been the best for ya.”

You sobbed harder as you clenched your hands into his shirt. Simon started to hush you quietly and soothingly. “You don’t deserve me.”

Simon froze from the comment, he used to say that to you at the beginning of your relationship. Telling you that he is a monster and that he would plague you with his darkness. That you were the angel and he was a demon, instead you showed him that he was the opposite. He was just lost in a broken world of his. Simon knew you were not like this. Not confident. Angry. Negative. No, you were the opposite of all of it.

Simon scooted so he would have you sit up against the frame. “Don’t you say that.” He said sternly.

You scoffed. “It’s true, I called you mean things. I said mean nasty things that are not true. Just over ice? Like how…”

“Stop,” He said stopping you dead in your tracks. “I know you didn’t mean it. Never have you showed me that. Baby,” He watched as your lips trembled, as your skin paled. “I know you love me, you are in pain just like I was. Let me help you bring yourself back as you make our child. You’re almost there love.”

You inhaled deeply as you looked away. “I’m sorry,” You turned to him and placed your hand on his cheek. “I love you Simon.”

Simon smiled and grabbed your hand kissing your knuckles. “I love you too. This is through sickness and health yeah? We promised each other that. So that is what gonna happen.”

You laid back down on him, your heart swelled with joy. You didn’t know how you got such an amazing husband. But all you knew is that he was your soulmate and you were his.

Another month went by and the baby was in distress from your body. She would be a month and half early which could lead into problems. However since your was fighting off too many things it wanted the baby to come out. You laid in the hospital bed as they induced you to push your baby girl out. You cried as Simon held his hand on yours and a cloth against your forehead.

“You got this mama,” The gynecologist announced looking up at you. “She is almost there!”

You looked at Simon concern written on your face and his. “It’s al’ight mamas. ‘M right here.” He whispered soothing you by brushing your damp strands back.

With a couple last pushes you heard a wail. Immediately relief went through your body as you laid all the way down into the bed. You panted as nurses and the doctor tended to the baby. Simon watched back and forth between you and the baby. “Go-Go see her.” You whispered gulping air.

You watched as he gave you a concerned look then nodded. You watched as he looked over the shoulders and smiled. Your heart fluttering. One of the nurses came to look over you. She said something but you couldn’t hear her. You felt nauseous and weak, lightheadedness coming in full swing.

The nurse called out as you felt your eyes roll. After that it was dark, you felt like actual sleep took hold. When you woke up, you were in a different room in the hospital, mouth was dry. When you looked over you saw Simon asleep with your baby girl against his bare chest.

You smiled. “They have been so cute,” You turned your head to see the doctor walking in. “How are you feeling?”

You hummed and coughed a bit. “Thirsty.”

“I bet. You had a blood clot form after giving birth to your baby girl. It can be common and could cause from your body being on overdrive to fix you. You are on blood thinners so take it easy. You have a healthy baby girl, she might be a little smaller than usual but that is expected from a early birth,” she explained looking over your vitals. “Your husband knows what to do. Just get to know your baby and rest.”

That you did, Simon once again by both you and both of your baby girl. Never have you felt so much relief and love. You smiled as Simon changed her diaper humming softly to her. In sickness and health. Is all you thought of as he gave you a kiss handing you your baby girl.

[ynbabe]

LOGAN FIC REQ!! (i love your messages au smmm btw THEYRE SO GOOD AHH) ok anywayssss

can you pls do logan x super super famous!reader.(preferably an actress but i don't mind any) so both of them are dating but are trying to keep it a secret since they've only been dating for a short amount of time. one night they decide to go on a date but paparazzi was there and it was going VIRAL. reader regrets not double checking if there would be any paps. sooo then everyone starts investigating on logan as the internet does and since everyone doesn't watch f1, they only see logan crashing and blah blah blah so they see him as a "bad driver" and he starts getting A LOT of hate because people think reader deserves better. they also start comparing him to reader's "more better and famous ex". reader and logan take time off social media and people think they broke up until reader releases an instagram post defending him and yeah a lot of fluff and hurt/comfort.

idk if this made sense but pls feel free to change anything!! again i love your work sm 💕‼️

Hiiii, omg thank you so much! Love love LOVE the fic idea and without any further ado- here's the fic, it isn't exactly as the prompt but I hope you love it-

Keep my wife's name OUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH ୨୧ Logan Sargeant x famous! reader

As a celebrity, you don’t often have the privilege of privacy. The cameras seemed to follow you everywhere, from outside your house to the restaurants you ate at and even to private celebrations with your friends and family.

Your last relationship had gone south exactly because of the paparazzi, making assumptions about the seriousness of your relationship and even spreading pregnancy and marriage rumours, scaring the man away.

You had wanted to take it slow, heart broken from your previous relationship but then you met Logan and for the first time in a long time you felt like you could breath, like you could do what you wanted without being judged.

You knew who he was and he knew who you were and that was perfect.

The both of you had spent a perfect week in your villa in Bali, it had been risky but no one caught on, surprisingly.

You thought your luck would continue and you threw causation to the wind, not asking your assistant to check for paparazzi at the sushi restaurant you were going to in Shanghai.

Unfortunately, you were caught just as you were leaving the restaurants waking up to a host of notifications, some good and some gut-wrenching.

Logan on the other hand tried not to throw up, his eyes wide, you could tell he was scared. Would his team drop him? No, no. Why would they? Right? Oh God.

"Logan, Logs, baby are you okay?" You called out, dropping to your knees and cradling his face in your palms.

f1waglife

f1waglife Y/n nation how are we feeling tonight? Logang? How are we? This was definitely not the couple we expected but is this the couple we deserve?

Username OH HELL NAW- WHY IS THIS FLORIDA MAN DATING QUEEN Y/N?????

Username Y/n come home the kids miss you

Username Omg mans is in love

Username Get someone to look at you the way Logan looks at Y/n

You saw some of the comments and while some made you smile, some made you want to slap a bitch, unfortunately, a scandal would not help, so you called up your PR manager, and the post was gone within a minute.

Logan's race had gone sour, with him getting an unfair penalty and points on his licence. The already poor start to your day had turned even worse when you saw Logan tiredly storm into the room collapsing on the bed, burying his face in his pillow.

"What... the..... fuck?" He screamed into the pillow making you smile a little. The small habit he'd picked up from you, screaming into the pillows as a way to think, one that you had picked up from one of the characters you played a long time ago.

"Why do people even care about who's dating who? That's so stupid." He rolled his eyes.

"Don't we binge Keeping Up with the Kardashians every Monday?" You asked.

"That's not the same though-" He paused and switched his phone off, he already didn't have access to his own Instagram, having given access to his manager a long time ago, he now didn't even want to talk to his friends or colleagues many of whom just wanted an autograph from you along with an explanation how he could be with you.

He turned around, pulling the blanket on him, tired from the day.

You pulled up Twitter as a habit but were greeted with a terrible chain of tweets judging every aspect of your relationship and even worse criticizing Logan without even knowing anything about the sport.

"What the fuck-" You cursed out loud, you knew your fanbase was slightly (an underestimation) larger than your boyfriends but how could they call themselves your fans, when you have been a fan of Logan's since his first season in f1? All your co-stars American or not knew your borderline obsession for the man, every race week you'd be posting Williams on your story, how could they still hate on him?

You looked next to you, where your boyfriend was sleeping a small scowl on his pretty face.

PR be damned, he didn't deserve this.

y/nl/nofficial

y/nl/nofficial To anyone who calls themselves my fans and talks shit about my lovely boyfriend, UNFOLLOW ME ASAP. Logan is the kindest, sweetest, most talented man I've had the pleasure to know and he deserves better than the bullshit he gets from some assholes who don't know anything about him. To quote my friend Will: KEEP MY WIFES NAME OUT YOUR DAMN MOUTHS-

username oop sis snapped

username you tell em girl

username LOVE a gf whos rabidly in love with her bf

username now why would y'all try and shame Mother's boyfriend when all she does is post about him for race weekends??

username fr shes been a logan fan before logan fans have been logan fans

Williams We stan a protective gf 😮‍💨

username admin you'll always be famous y/nl/nofficial Cant help it he looks really pretty in blue 🥰 username oh she in love love

username shall we start calling him Father?

The way I was struggling to write this fic cause I had to write bad things about Pookie Bear Logie is insane. But- I hope yall like it, please do let me know in the comments or reblogs!!!

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

dannies are like “yeah i know i have the worst taste. don’t worry i know i’m garbage. also sorry for having a lesbian crush on dan howell idk how to explain it he’s just my wife sometimes. also i hate him but it’s only ok for me to hate him btw. i’m very ashamed but sadly i was just born this way and lady gaga told me to love myself the way i was born but i make it pretty fucking hard to do that. dan is an annoying dumb whiny bitch and he’s everything to me. phil is a god and deserves to be worshipped as such i just belong in the trash bin with dan. it’s where i was born it’s where i grew up and its where i will die. its who i am inside and out to my core. i cannot tell you what this man means to me. he’s so stupid and he owns my heart. every time he talks i scream SHUT UP at my phone and here’s his handwriting tattooed on my arm. love is love okay and god has cursed me to love a cringefail whore that’s just the way it is. yeah ‘embrace the void and have the courage to exist’ was my senior quote so what. what about it. let me have inferior taste. yknow what why are you interrogating me” and honestly we’re so real for that

[ivys-garden]

I, like many of yall, have noticed a vocal minority of people showing there support for Wilbursoot, going as far as to attack shubble and her supporters. In this post I'll go through the main points I've seen them argue with and explain why I believe that they are all wrong.

“Shubble was the real abuser” - No. If she was, William would have spoken up. There is no evidence for this, well, that isn't faked or saying one thing is another (like the guy saying a pic of will crying was because of shubble or the guy trying to pass a stream of a completely different girl of as shubble abusing will… live. On stream. Yah, think we would have heard of that before now.)

“She has no proof” - genuinely fuck of. In domestic abuse cases there won't always be hard proof, that's one of the reasons the police struggle to do anything about it. If a wife is struck by a husband and it leaves no mark that doesn't mean it didn't happen “why didn't she show the bruises” have you guys ever been bruised? Bruises heal quickly, and she doesn't have any to show since the allegations came out after their break up, all the bruises would have healed. “Why didn't she take photos at the time?” Look at it this way, if I punch you across the face you will have a lot of thoughts, none of them will be “I should take a photo of this so people belive me what I say it happened”

(Also don't pretend that people wouldn't just say the evidence was fake if she did have pictures)

Oh and she does have evidence, the fact William admitted to it.

“She just did it for attention” - bitch, shubble doesn't need attention she was doing great. Just because you never heard of her didn't mean she was some underground indie youtuber, she didn't need to lie to get attention. Also lying about domestic abuse is not a good way to do this since it's really easy to disprove. The other party would come out instantly to tell everyone the truth. William didn't do that because shubble WAS telling the truth.

“Her story changed” - no. It didn't. Even the idea that she changed whether or not wilbur bruised with the bites or made her bled (both of which are still bad, btw) is made up, she never said that, as was clarified by shubble herself

“She encouraged death threats” - She openly decouraged death threats. Saying she was like: “everyone go and tell people to kill themselves” is literally putting words in her mouth

Also, this by no means goes for everyone, but arguing about death threats while, wilbur hasn't told his supports not to send death threats and that wilburs supporters have been saiding threats to shubble and her fans while condemning the few shubble fans who sent death threats, is kinda stupid

(Also this is by no means the main point but I have seen people who support wilbur literally begging for death threats, soooooooo)

(Oh aslo I was mistaken in the early version where I said shubble had implied that she didn't belive wilbur could change, that was another misconception and I'm sorry for spreading it. Shubble does belive that people can change IF they put in the work to do so)

Also remember, William has not been shown to actually change yet. He still hasn't even given shubble an apology that takes proper accountability, when he does that, apologies to everyone else he's wronged, and puts in the effort to actually be better moving forward, then we can forgive him. But at the moment he has not shown that.

So until then: support shubble. Belive victims. Raise awareness for these issues in the gaming space (this has been going on for a long time). And don't engage with people who make up evidence to support there parasocial relationships, don't send death threats (obviously, because that's wrong) but also don't engage in any other way. This will be my last post on this subject. Move on from William and the support for him will die down when they realise there's no one to disagree with, and then William, Shubble and all of us can move past this and into the future as a (hopefully) better space

[asoiafsworld]

HEADCANON; HAVING RHAENYRA'S AND DAEMON'S CHILDREN

pairings; rhaenyra targaryen x fem!reader x daemon targaryen

warnings; mentions of death in childbirth, pregnancy, labor, nsfw (18+), pregnancy kink, mentions of breeding kink, degradation, praise, power play, tooth rotting fluff

author's note; i know what happens in fire & blood and in house of the dragon and i choose to strongly ignore it! i will make daemon a good father and i will make rhaenyra a happy mother so take that hbo 😒 im accepting requests btw so pls send them to me, wether if its your own ideas or a req for a hc in this series!!

first part | second part | third part | fifth part | masterlist

⊱ ───────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ───────── ⊰

➼ both yours and rhaenyra's pregnancy was going well and you both felt happy and healthy

➼ you were certainly both glowing and anyone could see how happy you both were

➼ rhaenyra and daemon were incredibly protective of you

➼ like not letting you out of their sight and making sure you weren't doing anything too dangerous

➼ also obviously you got pregnant by daemon's never ending hunger for breeding you

➼ but it's rhaenyra's child just as much as it's daemon's and she certainly shows it

➼ "i will let no man or woman near our children until they turn of age, maybe not even after that... they are just babies!"

➼ she's still convinced that you have twins and won't let anyone say otherwise about it

➼ and it makes your heart clench to hear that she claims your children as her own and you do the same

➼ you lay on your bed with her, your head on her bump, listening for kicks from the little one

➼ "oh, i heard something! i think it's talking to me! i can't wait to hold you in my arms, my little dragon."

➼ rhaenyra and daemon are so endeared by the nickname you have given to her child

➼ overall you take care a lot of her during the pregnancy since she is two months further than you are

➼ make sure she eats and drinks enough, are there for her when she feels sick, read to her when she wants to fall asleep but can't

➼ give her so many kisses on her swollen belly and she swears that it makes her feel better, especially when it's direct skin on skin contact

➼ she gets horny easily during pregnancy so she might just get wet from those kisses

➼ and you're her needy slut at her service so when she demands you to eat your queen out you do it without question

➼ which leads to daemon walking in on both of you and watching you with hunger as you are at your queen's mercy

➼ technically rhaenyra is at her weakest during her pregnancy and can't physically command you to do anything for her

➼ but it just shows how much power she holds over you and she loves it

➼ you are also just very submissive for her and would drop on your knees whenever and wherever she asks for it

➼ but as i said daemon walks in and he can't resist it and toys with you just as he always does

➼ shoves your face closer to rhaenyra's pussy and keeps a hand on the back of your head

➼ "you're a hungry little pup, hm? want to please your queen so badly, you can never resist her... you filthy little bitch."

➼ you moan into your wife's cunt and it doesn't take long for her to release all over your face and you gladly drink it up

➼ and then daemon splits you open on his cock because of course he does

➼ but you don't realize how much it turns him on to fuck you when you're pregnant until he does

➼ he keeps holding a hand to your stomach as he fucks into you and kisses your neck as you whine and whimper at the way he keeps hitting your deepest spots

➼ "so beautiful and round, you see how fast i got you pregnant, my love? everyone who sees you pregnant knows that i breed you like the stupid whore you are, that you are and will forever be mine to fuck and claim. my pretty little toy thing, just for me to use. i will breed you so many times and get you pregnant so much until the entirety of dragonstone is filled with our children, until i decide that i'm satisfied... and i will never, ever be satisfied with you. i will fuck you until my last breath."

➼ your eyes roll back into your skull, crying from how good you feel and you're delirious at his words, wishing he could get you pregnant again as soon as possible after you give birth

➼ your head is on rhaenyra's breasts as you get fucked and she smiles at you as if there was a sweet moment between you and daemon happening

➼ she was going through your hair with her hand and kissed you a few times, it was so gentle that it felt like a whiplash with daemon's unrelenting hard thrusts

➼ eventually he came inside you and was very proud of himself for it

➼ "i fucked you so hard, i'm sure you're pregnant again."

➼ "daemon... that is not how it works, you silly dragon!"

➼ when rhaenyra goes into labor you are right beside her, holding her hand and telling her that it will be alright and that she had done this five times before, she could do it again

➼ seeing her in this state terrified you a little because it's what you would go through in just a few weeks but you knew that you would be fine because rhaenyra would be by your side too, holding your hand tightly

➼ rhaenyra tried to send you away because seeing her might upset you in your state but you didn't listen to her, only kept telling her to hold on and to push

➼ eventually she gave birth to a healthy and strong baby, finally a girl

➼ she asked you if you liked the name visenya and you agreed on it although you were confused why she asked you

➼ "it's yours just as much as mine. i already asked daemon and he wanted visenya too but i want you to have a say in these things because they are your children as well, just like yours are already mine."

➼ it touched you to hear this and you give her the most loving kiss ever

➼ rhaenyra holds visenya in her arms and she's such an adorable little thing, looking around so curiously

➼ rhaenyra falls asleep quickly after the birth from exhaustion and in that time, you take little visenya into your arms

➼ "so you're my little dragon, hm, visenya? you look just like your mother, the same eyes and same nose... but i fear you got your rather large forehead from your father."

➼ daemon walks in at that moment, having been out flying with caraxes and immediately made his way back when he was told that rhaenyra was in labor

➼ "i heard that!"

➼ you only giggle at his fake hurt exclamation and his heart blooms when he hears you so happy so he can't say anything about it

➼ you place visenya in his arms and his face lights up the moment she looks at him

➼ "she's a cute little girl. look at her tiny nose! looks just like her mother."

➼ the kids start to come in to see the child and all coo over their baby sister

➼ jace takes her into his arms and keeps telling her how he's going to be the best big brother and teach her how to wield a sword and to take care of her dragon

➼ syrax was constantly churning out dragon eggs so you and jace chose one for little visenya from the many that were available

➼ you went with a white scaled dragon egg and it was placed in her crib with her from her first night, just like with her mother

➼ the following few weeks between visenya's birth and your labor were calm and peaceful and all three of you took a lot of care of visenya

➼ even though rhaenyra kept telling you to rest since you didn't have much left until your little one was coming

➼ but again, visenya was your child too and the urge to see her and take care of her was just as strong as rhaenyra's

➼ but before long, your labor was starting and you were incredibly scared

➼ one of your sister's, the one that reminded you of baela a lot, had died in childbirth which is why it was fearful for you to go through this

➼ and obviously it wasn't just you scared of it

➼ both rhaenyra and daemon's mothers had died in childbirth as well so everytime, it was a challenge and fear to go through this

➼ but they were constantly by your side through the entire labor, holding each of your hands and reassuring you that you would be fine

➼ they were partially saying that to keep themselves calm too because they wouldn't know what to do if they lost you too

➼ rhaenyra was constantly kissing your forehead and telling you that you were doing well for her and that she couldn't wait to see your little dragons

➼ you gave birth to your son and he came out squealing and crying loudly

➼ but the midwife told you to keep pushing because the maestar had been right, you did have twins!

➼ your daughter was born shortly after and your babies were both as healthy and happy as they come and you were okay as well, just tired from labor

➼ after they were cleaned up they were each put in your husband and wife's arms since you were too weak to hold them

➼ they came as close as possible to you with them and you smiled, unbelieving that you had born two living and breathing creatures

➼ daemon had your little girl in his arms and rhaenyra your son, both doting and cooing at them

➼ "i knew i was right. i could feel that there were two of our little dragons inside you."

➼ you roll your eyes at rhaenyra's insistence and watched her give a little kiss to your son's forhead

➼ you chose rhaegar for your son and alysanne for your daughter, two traditional targaryen names and your husband and wife both loved them

➼ they had told you that you didn't need to necessarily give them valyrian names and could choose from your own house as well

➼ "no, my family doesn't mean much to me. my children will be targaryen by name and blood, they will ride dragons and should bear their ancestors names."

➼ rhaenyra and daemon were so happy to hear that and were glad that you knew how important their valyrian ancestry will be

➼ the kids come flooding in and take their time to hold the children as well

➼ you had given baela and rhaena the task of choosing eggs for their siblings and they were happy to show them to you

➼ your son, rhaegar got a light blue scaled egg and your daughter, alysanne received a purple scaled egg, both put in the cribs with the children

➼ rhaenyra, daemon and you were mostly happy that your pregnancies were over since the danger was always big but you were so lucky with the three little new ones

➼ their cribs were in one room together because you all agreed to have them grow up as siblings

➼ rhaenyra however didn't let the wet nurse touch visenya, rhaegar or alysanne just like she didn't let anyone else still her sons before

➼ she stilled not only visenya but rhaegar and alysanne too because they were her little babies too after all

➼ you were familiar with this feeling but rhaenyra was not familiar with having children that were not her blood so breastfeeding them was her way of bonding herself with them

➼ you thought it was so cute that she wanted to do this for you and you of course did the same for visenya and she was just as happy about it

➼ so both of you sat in the nursery taking turns to feed your children and after that made sure to cuddle them closely and give them all the love in the world

➼ daemon came to the nursery a lot with you, sometimes he just took one of the babies and held them close to remind himself that he had helped create these beautiful little humans

➼ he tells the children tales of his adventures and tells them that they will never experience doing such dangerous things because their father was daemon targaryen, an insanely overprotective husband and father

➼ he seems to especially love alysanne a lot who keeps gurgling at him and trying to reach up to his face

➼ the smile he has on his face is so sweet when he holds her, it's visible that he's endlessly proud of her and loves her

➼ the other children come sneaking into the nursery too, thinking that no one would see them but all three of you know about it

➼ jace and luke are very much in love with rhaegar who was a strong and big baby

➼ they always tell him that he will be a great dragon rider one day and that they will be great big brothers

➼ joffrey seems to love alysanne a lot, always wanting to look at her closely since he can't hold her yet

➼ "my little sister, you will be the best swordswoman in the seven kingdoms! i'll teach you everything you need to know!"

➼ plays peek a boo with little alysanne and she absolutely loves it, always giggling when joffrey plays with her

➼ baela and rhaena look after visenya a lot and you know that it means a lot to them to have younger sisters now

➼ you know that baela is especially taken with her since she knows that she'll be a mother soon as well and you know that she will be a good one with the way she treats and holds visenya

➼ overall you love your huge patchwork family and would give anything for them and hope that you will be happy forever with them

[saintslewis]

Graduation

pairing: lewis hamilton x black fem reader

summary: in which you celebrate your graduation day with your husband and family/friends

saint’s notes: in honour of graduation season, here’s a fic for y’all 🫶🏽 first f1 fic let’s gaurrrrrrr

social media + real life au

taglist: @thisismeracing (i really love your acc so this is to just say 🫶🏽)

ynhamilton

liked by lewishamilton, bellahadid and 7,838,839 others

ynhamilton i’ve successfully served cunt academically

view comments

user she is mother and no one can say otherwise

landonoriss mom finally graduated 🥹

ynhamilton not even gonna say anything anymore-

lewishamilton congratulations my love! i’m extremely proud of you and i love you

ynhamilton i love you more 🥹 thank you for the gift btw 🤭

lewishamilton i love you way more but okay 🩷

user what degree did you get???

ynhamilton a masters in English Literature 😋

user oh so you smart smart?

ynhamilton pretty much

pierregasly10 so no more doing homework in the wrong motor homes? (alpine misses your frantic typing)

ynhamilton it was one time and i’m a mercedes girly so pls

mercedesamgf1 i know that’s right! 🤭

charles_leclerc congratulations y/n! making me feel like a proud parent

maxverstappen1 weren’t you crying when she got on stage? 😭

carlossainz55 he was and it was the funniest thing ever

user damn, so the whole grid was at her graduation? 😧

user basically yeah 😭, i was graduating as an undergraduate and when they called her name, they cheered so loud

user and when lewis yelled ‘that’s my wife!’ I shed a couple of tears

bellahadid babe omg!!!!! congrats, so excited to see you omg

gigihadid bella shhhhh

sza you guys aren’t good at this 😭

danielricciardo you did serve cunt

ynhamilton thanks Danny 🥳

susiewolff what do you guys say? you ate them up!

ynhamilton that’s the spirit Susie!!

youryoungersister CONGRATS

ynhamilton thanks stupid

youryoungersister since you got your degree and yk everything fucking thing-

ynhamilton degrees*

youryoungersister celcius bitch

sophiarichiegrainge i literally love you so much

ynhamilton you’re too sweet, i love you too

The traffic of getting out of the campus was tough, the occasional fan coming up to the car to either take videos of it for social media or to interact with both you, Lewis or the other drivers. Having the top down for the fans to have better access to the both of you resulted in paparazzi at the gate of the university, trying to grab pictures of you mainly.

“Babe look! They’re calling it the Paddock Grad party.” You chuckled as you chuckled at the tweets you were scrolling through as you found out that you were trending on the app. The wind wasn’t too harsh on your faces as he cruised down the streets, constantly congratulating you and doing an amazing job at distracting you from the fact that the rest of the grid that attended your graduation had driven past you.

Reaching the infamous Hidden Hills gates, you were greeted with balloons from the guards, already putting the biggest smile on your face. Driving towards your LA home, you noticed all the super cars, hyper cars and luxury vehicles leading up to your driveway with each car having a gold balloon strapped around the mirror. You were absolutely stunned by everything you were taking in and Lewis looked at you as if you hung up all the stars in the night sky, extremely proud of your achievements.

With him helping you out of the car, you noticed the white rose petals scattered around the front yard and the music blaring from your backyard. The thought of all your favourite people coming together to celebrate your newest achievement was bringing tears of joy to your eyes, refusing to cry and ruining your lashes. Walking into your home, you noticed the incredibly large table of gifts as you walked into your foyer and Lewis just following behind you as you marvelled at everything in your home.

“Y/n,” He called out as you were a few feet away from the door leading to your backyard. Looking back at your husband, you held his hand. “Don’t you want to change your shoes?” He asked, noticing your discomfort from your heels after the graduation ceremony had ended. You nodded with the most love sick smile on your face as he brought out your favourite Gucci platform sandals from behind his back. He let out a little giggle at the look on your face and got on his knees to undo your shoes for you. Sighing of relief as your bare feet hit the cool ground, you slipped your feet into the sandals, noticing the height change between you and Lewis as he was taller than you. He placed a kiss on your forehead then your lips, repeatedly kissing your lips until your giggle stopped him.

As you walked into the kitchen which had access to the patio door, you noticed all the food and dessert beautifully decorated with white and gold, the one thing catching your attention the most was the doughnut stand in the middle of your island. You gasped and immediately went for the stand, grabbing a white chocolate doughnut that wrote ‘congratulations, y/n!’. You split it into two pieces and offered to Lewis knowing he would definitely decline it but he surprised you by taking the other half. “What? I can’t say no to a celebration.” He winked at you as he took a bite out of it.

Almost forgetting about the party he quite literally planned to happen in his backyard, he held your hand once again and led you to the party outside with all the guests waiting for you. As he opened the door, the sounds of Kaytranada were heard and people talking as they turned their attention to the door you were walking out from. The cheers started as you fully walked into the yard with Lewis squeezing your hand and letting it go, stepping to the side to let people celebrate you.

The first person to approach you was your mother, embracing you in a loving hug as tears threatened to fall. The next being your younger sister, trying her hardest to stay cool as she looked at you so proudly. Your immediate family had come up to congratulate you before letting your friends celebrate you.

After receiving hugs and congratulatory messages from everyone, taking many photos from the Photo Booth that was rented and a little bit of dancing, it was soon time to eat as the sun was setting beautifully as the hues of pink and orange hit your skin. Placing your graduation cap on the hook of your chair, you faced everyone as you sat at the head of the table. During your meal, you decided to make a speech to say thank you to everyone.

“Hey everyone,” You greeted as all eyes turned to you when you stood up. “Um, sorry for interrupting your eating. Just wanted to say a speech to you guys.” You began and you heard Daniel Ric’s iconic ‘Ki ki’ noises that you’ve had the honour of hearing live many times. “Thank you Daniel for that, gratefully appreciated.” You smiled, causing the whole table to laugh.

“I would like to start off by saying thank you, truly. To my family for supporting me through everything, to myself for getting these degrees, to my friends that i have met along the way and to my loving husband for sticking with me and loving me.” You expressed, seeing smiles from everyone around you. “I remember leaving home, just graduated with my undergrad and i wanted to spoil myself and I took a solo trip to the Monaco gp with an extremely limited budget and i didn’t know what i was going to eat for that week but my younger delusional self knew that I wasn’t going to struggle because a driver will see me on the stand and instantly fall for me and well, that’s exactly what happened except now I’m the designated paddock mom.” You chuckled, reminiscing on that life changing week.

“Years later, I’m married to the love of my life with my master’s degree on lock, just hitting the millionaire status from my career and the best people by my side supporting me through and through. I truly love all of you so much and lemme stop before i ruin this makeup.” You laughed, grabbing a serviette and dabbing your eyes before tears fell.

The night had carried on beautifully as your friends had made speeches about how it was when you’d complain about your work load to them or the iconic moments you’d take your homework along with you to a few races. Having your favourite desserts and dancing with your friends until late had made you feel happy about everything that you’ve accomplished for yourself.

[trashiewrites]

More girlboss ghost's wife plz 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

HAHAHAHAH!!!! MORE BAD BITCHING AND I LOVEE IT!! btw for those who have sent in requests, I am doing them in the order I get them! I don't have that many but work has been killing me recently!

Don't Fuck with That~

Ghost x F!Reader (Never really mentioned gender-wise)

Rating: B for Boss Bitch

Warnings: Harsh language to women, and alcohol? yeah

Words: 1150

One thing you may expect about the life of a mother of two is chaos, especially with your husband gone for long periods of time. It's a lot, you will admit. Yet, you bring the Bad Bitch you were and made it looks like child's play. To be honest, you didn't know how the fuck you did it yourself, but you managed! After a month or so you do start to lose your mind, saying that you barely have any free time after handling things. Luckily you have the best husband ever!

On days when Simon would return home after a mission, the first thing he does is take the kids to go see your family! Or if that isn't available, he'll ask the boys to babysit for the night. Usually, Soap loves to babysit the little monsters. In any case, the kids are out of your hair! Simon takes this to have you go buck wild wherever you want. This time you chose to relax and have drinks at a dive bar! Nothing is more distressing than the one day you can pump yourself with your favorite alcohol!

Simon, during this time, stays relatively sober just to watch the chaos unravel. You being drunk is what he calls a spectacle. "You know Simon," you looked over at him taking another swig of your glass, "how did you of all people end up with such rowdy sperm monsters??" You growled as you leaned upon the table. Simon chuckled, sipping some more whiskey.

"I don't know," he placed his glass down, "why don't you ask their mother?"

"Yeah, you're right!" your face lit up for a mere moment before fully taking in his words, "wait a fucking minute you bastard! I'm their mother!!" 

"Exactly," He took another sip, "Look at yourself, I love you but those rascals get it all from you." Simon chuckled before looking back to see you gulping another glass. 

"Bartender, another glass for me please!" You spoke in a mopey tone, "Imma need more to drink away the sorrow of my husband's harsh but true words!" Having said that, you burst into laughter. Leaning against your husband's shoulder as you tried to grasp your breath. Simon shook his head, leaning his head upon yours. 

"Honestly, what do I do with you." He chuckled as the bartender motioned that this was your last drink. Wasting no time, you took a large gulp; letting out a refreshing sigh you flashed Simon a content smile. "Enjoy that drink, It's your last." You placed your hand over your mouth, so close to spitting out your precious booze. You leaned your head back downing what you had in your mouth. 

"Says who!" You clutched to Simon in desperation, "How could you deprive me of my only day off!" Simon finished his glass, motioning for another. He pointed to himself; the bartender nodded.  "How come you get another!"

"One, the bartender. Two, I'm going to be here for a bit." Simon nodded as he swapped his old glass for a newly filled one, "Lastly, cause I'm not nearly as drunk as you." You huffed in defeat, despite being hammered, you could tell you were HAMMERED. You downed the rest of your glass, standing up from your seat. 

"Imma head to the restroom," you kissed his cheek and left. Simon took a moment to look around. Most things you'd see in a bar were there; The noisy folk, the drunk asleep in the back corner, and groupies of all varieties. One thing caught his eye, more like he had caught their eye if anything. A group of ladies whispered among themselves as they looked over to one of them and then back to him. Not necessarily an uncommon sight for him, saying he is fairly attractive without his mask on. Yet he looked away, paying no heed to the group and returning to his drink. Surely no one is stupid to hit on him seeing he had been hanging with you this whole time... keyword he thought...

"Hey, there Handsome," a voice called out next to him. He ignored it despite no one being on the other side. Until sadly, someone poked his shoulder. "I'm speaking to you sir; can I buy you a drink? " Simon sighed, a frown staining his face. 

"No thanks, for your sake you should leave; I'm happily married." 

"To that wreck? Oh, honey, I can show you a real woman." the woman cackled as she leaned closer, "I can rock your world baby; just give me a chance. ~" she spoke in a seductive whisper into Simon's ear. He placed his hand on her shoulder, gently pushing her away. 

"One last time, it's best if you leave." 

"Oh, come one, leave with me, baby!" She beckoned, "you'll send those papers after one night with me, trust me. ~" 

"I wouldn't fuck with that if I were you," Simon turned to face you, "you must be blind 'cause I'm sure you and your group of whores knew he was mine." Your eyes flared with anger. You cracked your knuckles, leaning your head to the side with a cynical smirk. The women slowly turned around, seeing the demon incarnate festering with glaring eyes that could kill. She went pale as a ghost, "Now, I suggest you turn tail to your groupie before I shove something in those open legs of yours that you won't find pleasurable."  The woman gulped loudly, comedically loud. Rushing off to return to her little gang, you laughed loudly as you watched her run, "Go on run faster bitch; pick a better target next time!" You sent a kiss in her direction and returned your gaze to your husband whose eyes were on you the entire time, admiring you with a soft grin. "Liked the show?" 

"I believe that's your best performance yet." You walked to him, and instead of sitting in your seat next to him, you sat promptly on his lap. He wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder, "Extremely attractive, if I may add; Despite all these years, you continue to amaze me, dove."

"Can I have one more drink then?" you turned to face him, hitting him with big puppy eyes. Simon sighed, never one to give in to puppy eyes, yet perhaps today will be his exception. 

"Fine," He motioned for two more, "last one, so enjoy it." You cheered happily, grabbing Simon's cheeks and giving him a big smooch. 

"Thank you, thank you! You're the best husband ever, Simon!!" You hugged him tightly; in response, he rubbed your back, "I love you so much, Simon..." You spoke softly. 

"I love you too, (y/n)," he whispered in return. Taking his glass in hand and handing you yours, "Cheers?" You stared down at your glass and then back to him with a warm smile, both sharing that longing for each other. 

"Cheers." 

[static-errorcode]

adamsapple oneshot for @rius-cave, @sugarry-sins and @aesusen

Im huge fans of you you guys btw. And I hope @aesusen would possibly use my hazbin hotel heaven oc

Also slight nsfw stuff (which i hate) , and tuns of swears

Adam pov:

I couldn't believe this, I mean I literally couldn't. First I was the first man on earth, then I was the first human soul to enter heaven, then head exorcist, now I'm a stupid demon on a fucking leash, and owned by the one who fucked my wife's. All because I needed a place to stay, and it was so I can apologize for all the damage I did to the old hotel.

And I knew he was enjoying this, always teasing by saying stuff like "if you be a good boy for daddy, I'll give you a reward~" and "who's my little bitch~" and let's not forget "Look how far you've fallen~". All of those things he said made me turn into a tomato. I hated his constant flirting but I signed my soul to him. So I had to just deal with it

Today I heard lucifer calling my name somewhere after breakfast, and since he owned my soul, I had to. I went to the main entrance of the hotel, seeing lucifer waiting for me with what seemed to be a bunch of papers next to him. I was confused on why there were so many. I hope I wasn't going to hold all of them at once. I looked at lucifer who was turning around to notice I was there.

"Ah you made it! Your such a good boy for daddy~" lucifer said makeing me flush out of embarrassment. "Today will be a simple task, as you notice I have a fuck ton of papers" lucifer said in a energized tone. He looked kinda cu- WHAT! DID I JUST FUCKING THINK THAT?! I I HATED THAT WIFE STEALING MOTHER FUCKER. WHY WOULD I NEARLY THINK HE WAS CUTE?!

I snapped back into consciousness after lucifer waved his hand in my face. "Hey you back" lucifer asked me as my face blushed, I nodded as I looked back at him. "So anyways these papers happen to be fliers for the hotel. If you can put up at least half of them..." lucifer said as they looked at me to finish the sentence "I'll give you a reward~" lucifer finished his sentence as he grabed my chin so i could look at him better, making me blush slightly. "Fine" I groaned out as I picked up half of the papers like luci said.

"But why half" I asked "because I want to make sure that my little pet is safe~" he said Making my face turn red as he chuckled "I just thought after all the really hard work you'd deserve a little less" luci explained the real reason.

28 minutes later

I was walking around hell putting up the fliers to advertise the hotel. While I was doing that, I couldn't help but think about earlier. I didn't know why I nearly thought lucifer was... cute. Just thinking about it makes my tail wag a little. All I could think about was his red cheeks, his toothy smile, his red eyes. I didn't get why I'd think fhat of him after stealing my wife's.

Eventually I reached the p@rn studio. I always got uncomfortable every time I was there. I overherd that angel dust talking about Valentino, and how he described him made me not wanting to meet the guy. I went to the alley, knowing well that sinners go there all the time, to do whatever they do. Placed the last flier on the wall. All the sudden I felt a hand Placed on my shoulder, I turned around to see it was Valentino himself.

"My my, if it isn't adam, the first dick ever" Valentino said Making me uncomfortable. "Yep that's me, look man I got to go" I tried to walk away but Valentino stopped me. "Whats the matter? We have some time~" Valentino said on a flirty tone, Placing his hand on my chin. I was nervous on what he was gonna do to me

Lucifer pov:

I was in the main entrance waiting for Adam to return. "He should of come back by now" i said to myself. "Well your highness, you own his soul, couldn't you just sense where he is" I herd husk say cleaning the bar. "That's a great Idea" I said as I started channeling my energy to Is conjure up a mirror type thing to look at where adam was. When I found him (spiritual) I saw Valentino trying to seduce Adam, as Adam looked uncomfortable with it.

I felt angered. Ever since Adam got into hell I started to develop feelings for the guy, and he's about to get r@ped by Valentino, the one who licked my daughter's arm. I dashed out of the door forgetting to close the mirror to show where Adam was. I was too focused to save Adam. I've grown to attached to him to much to let him get hurt.

Adam pov:

I was backing up away from Valentino feeling the most uncomfortable I've ever been ever. I eventually backed into the end of the alley, there was no way out of this. Valentino pinned me to the wall as he lifted my chin as he grind, "a fallen angel huh~? That could be anyone's kink~" Valentino said as in a flirty tone. "YEAH WELL MY KINK IS SMASHING BUGS YOU HORNY BUG" I herd someone yell before he hit Valentino with a shovel.

Valentino got knocked out and fell to the ground to show lucifer, dropping the shovel on the ground. It was kinda ho- DAMIT I DID IT AGAIN?! WHAT IS FUCKING WITH ME TODAY. Lucifer ran up to hug me, making me shocked and made me blush a bit as I returned the embrace. "Thank God your ok" lucifer said as he placed his hand on my cheek, making me blush. We stared at eachother for a bit, looking into eachothers eye's for I don't know how long.

Lucifer eventually closed the gap between us, clashing are lips together as we kiss. It felt like an eternity to be honest, the kiss was nice, I never expected to enjoy a kiss from lucifer out of all people but I did. After a few more minutes we broke the kiss as we looked at eachother. My eyes widened as I touched my lip "holy shit luci, that was-" " I know, it was kinda... nice" luci cutting me off as he cherished my cheek, making me blush at my comment of are kiss being nice

"I- I think I love you luci" I said, all flustered of are situation. Lucifer chuckles at my comment "I love you too, now come on, let's get back to the others" lucifer said as he walked me back to the hotel.

EPILOGUE

Lucifer poc:

I was on the couch cuddling Adam as I slowly started to fall asleep. I opened my eyes to see a dark empty void, I knew what was going on, and any moment now SHES gonna appear. "Well, well, seems like someone's got a new boyfriend" I herd a feminine demonic voice echoing in the black void

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ROO" I yelled out, trying to get answers. Red eyes formed all around me as a figure started to form from the distance. "Oh you know what I want" roo said as her spider like limbs made of what appeared to be wood on her back move closer to me. "I'm not giving you my soul. You might own Liliths, but you can't get me" I said as I turned away from roo.

"OK, but make sure your little boyfriend is safe, never know what could happen" roo said as she opens the palm of her real hand to show a flame with a silhouette of adam in the middle, as her black hair with a fade of red glowed showing her eyes being lifeless, her mouth being shut with a smile even as they talk, her outfit of rags having holes in them, her legs representing of of a goat like animal.

"Don't... you... DARE HURT HIM" I yelled out in anger, "who says I'm planning to. But... even if am, what are you gonna do about it" she said with a demonic echo in her voice as her arms became somewhat of some sort of stone monster, with her hands becoming the color of blood. "You know I'm the root of all evil, the reason hell exists, the one who grows more and more powerful with each death in hell has. So even if you tried to protect him..." she opens her other hand with another flame, one with the silhouette of Charlie "you still have a daughter ot protect" she claws me. Making me wake up from that nightmare

"You ok luci" Adam asked out of general concern for me. I looked at him both happy that he's safe but also concerned of what could happen to him. "Yeah I'm fine, just a nightmare" I said sounding rather calm of what just happened. "Don't worry I'm here to protect you" Adam said sounding confident. "Thanks my apple" I said as I snuggle up to him "but I need to protect you" I thought to myself as I look back at him

Roo pov:

"Soon luci, soon you'll be under my control" I walk around the giant hell tree representing the tree of knowledge with a force field in an opening letting me see hell. I walk to my toy chest, pulling out three puppets, one of Eve, one of Lilith, and the final one of alastor "I mean it hasn't been hard to make these three my play things and with one being a guy inside at all times" I laugh maniacally as I grow bigger and stronger, showing a new soul has died permanently. "Isn't that right..... eve" I say as I turn around at eve. Who was chained to the ground cause of me

"Yes mamm" eve said in q scared tone

This seems like a plot of a episode tbh. And I hope my three heros read this. Also I am proud of this!

[separatist-apologist]

What are the worst wrong takes you've seen about Feyre and Elain?

Btw I dislike Bryce too I think I would've enjoyed cc more if it the mc was just anyone else but her.

Rhysand, what is the point of brain melting/misting power if you're not going to use it?

Wrong feels subjective. People can have whatever headcanons they want.

My least favorite opinions that get touted as fact are:

Feyre was recently illiterate which makes her too stupid to be in a position of power

Feyre didn't "earn" her position like the other High Lords did (I have such a rant half written about this because tell me more about how the magic system that chooses people at random is picking the most worthy individual)

Feyre is too young to be a (good) mother

Elain is stupid for never planting vegetables

Elain is even stupider/has so little curiosity that she doesn't know how to break a mating bond

Elain wants to be a wife and mother only

Feyre should have sat Tamlin down and told him she was suffering and/or acknowledged the trauma HE experienced watching her die

Feyre wasn't That Bitch for what happened in ACOWAR and needs to be held accountable by modern standards that don't exist in the book

Feyre is spoiled and expects people do everything for her

Feyre doesn't deserve everything she got

[scoonsalicious]

Hey pocket!! Whats the most ridiculous thing you’ve seem tony do?

Hi!

Wow, okay. First one's a fucking hard one, huh? I mean, to start, have you met Tony Stark? Everything the man does borders on some level of ridiculous, I swear. For the sake of this particular answer, I'll tell you the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen him do that doesn't involve sheep (that's a story for Chapter 19!). So, to misquote my Spirit Guide, Sophia Petrillo: Picture it, NYC, 2004. A young peasant girl is in her first or second year working for one of the greatest tech companies in the world, when she gets an urgent call from her boss out in Malibu. Tony's frantic on the phone, begging me to fly out there as soon as possible. Says he's got an emergency situation only I can fix. Me being young and dumb, and not fully realizing yet just how totally unprofessional Tony Fucking Stark is, I hop on a plane, thinking I'm off to solve, like, the energy crisis or some such bullshit, you know? Stupid fucking me, thinking it would be something rational. I show up to the beach house early the next morning after dragging my ass onto a redeye and let myself in, probably looking like stale leftovers, and there's this woman in Tony's kitchen, wearing a pair of his boxers, and literally nothing else, making French Toast. Like, tits on parade. We kind of stare at each other for a minute, and it's hella awkward, and I'm thinking "this is still Tony's house, right? He didn't move without telling me?" and this girl just looks at me and goes "Who the hell are you?" Fair enough-- Tony's got a new lady and she's surprised when a random chick with a suitcase just walks in, right? Makes perfect sense. I'm about to apologize and introduce myself when Tony comes slumping down the stairs, and that son of a bitch throws a huge-ass frown on his face and is all "Oh no! Honey, you weren't supposed to be home until the weekend! I'm so sorry! I'm scum! You weren't supposed to find out like this!" and I'm looking at him like "What the actual fuck, Boss?" and he just turns to this other girl and goes "This is my wife."

Obviously, the girl is pissed at Tony, but she's being all apologetic to me, so sorry for wrecking my home and shit, and I'm trying not to die laughing, which probably just makes me look like I'm about to fucking cry or something. So, she's collecting her things, calling Tony all kinds of names that I, as a lady, can not repeat ;) while telling me how sorry she is, and then she's out the door. Tony is fucking relieved-- apparently, he met her at some sort of fundraiser in LA, brought her back to the house for the night, which somehow turned into six nights?, because bitch just. wouldn't. leave. I'm so confused, because why not just ask her to go? Or, I dunno, call the cops or something, right? You have to make me fly all the way across the country to kick a girl out? Granted, this was before anyone really started talking about carbon footprints... but, I digress. His answer? He couldn't ask her to leave because he couldn't remember her fucking name. Men. We ended up having a decent laugh over the French Toast she made. I gotta say, it was fucking delicious. That chick's a senator, now, btw. We ran into her at a thing in DC a few years back, and she was so thrilled we'd managed to make our "marriage" work, after all these years. I made him buy me a beagle after that, lol. PS: Shout out to Pep for willingly taking on this man and his bullshit. She is a fucking saint, you have no idea.

[siriusblack-the-third]

Okay, lets talk about Patronuses.

To my understanding, a person's Patronus is either a physical representation of their character, or takes a form that is the animal version of somebody who is dear to that person or someone who that person looks up to.

Harry's Patronus is Prongs, a stag— his dead father's animagus form. His dead father, who everyone says Harry looks like (except his eyes. He's got Lily's eyes), who Harry looks up to, who Harry idolizes throughout the series. I think it's interesting to note that Harry doesn't have an animal that corresponds to his personality— the dursleys were never a place where he could nurture or grow his own identity, and Hogwarts was always riddled with too many dangers for him to have time to figure himself out. Up until the end of the war, he had no aim, no direction, no idea what his own personality was like. And so, his Patronus took the form of a stag, a tangible representation of his parents' sacrifice, of his physical likeness to his father, of his love and admiration for people he couldn't remember.

Snape (barf) had a Doe Patronus. His obsession with Lily was so strong that it became his personality. His obsession was the only reason that prompted him to betray Tom Riddle, the only thing that prompted him to make an oath to Lily that he would protect her child (bang up job he did of that, btw- just superb), and the only reason he made an effort to stay alive. If it had been the Longbottom family that was under attack, Snape would have gone down in history as one of the cruelest and most loyal Death Eaters of Riddle's army who did terrible, horrible things in the name of his "love".

Now to the main point of this little rant: James Potter, Lily Evans, and Sirius Black.

The Terf Extraordinaire has declared in Extracanon that James' Patronus was a stag, and Lily's patronus was a doe. Imo, that is complete bullshit. James Potter and Lily Evans are famously known for having started off on the wrong foot— he's an arrogant, bullying bastard and she is a sanctimonious, hot-tempered bitch (bear with me, please, I love both of them).

I can't believe Lily's Patronus being a doe— she had too much love in her heart for it to be a representation of her own personality. Even if it was that, it is entirely too inaccurate. Does are considered delicate, weak, innocent creatures. Lily in canon has too fiery a temper and too sharp a wit for her Patronus to be something so mundane— she hurries to rescue Snape in SWM with such rage, unafraid to go against the worst pranksters in the school. And if the angle that Rowling wanted was for it to be an indicative of her love for James, that her Patronus was a doe instead of stag was because Lily was a female, then that's utterly, completely stupid. Lily hated— no, Lily loathed James with her whole being for the first six years of their school. They canonically began dating some time in their 7th year, and even if Patronuses were taught only in the 7th year, Lily wouldn't have fallen in love with him so fast; he had been an utter dick thé previous years, and Lily is canonically too smart to let herself fall for someone who had changed so very recently. She gave him a chance in seventh year, but i believe that she fell in love with him much, much later. All of this just points to the fact that Lily's Patronus being a doe right off the bat is just.. weird. And something I can't imagine happening. If I was to give her a Patronus before she fell in love with James, it would be either a big cat or a dragon. And hey maybe her Patronus changed became a doe to match James when she married him, but then I don't like the connotations of a wife having to submit herself fully to her husband. So no. No Doe Patronus for Lily.

James Potter having a representation of himself as a Patronus is much more believable; he is confident, smart and self assured— traits we don't often see in teenagers. The thing is, though: James loved Sirius. Whether canon or au, platonic or romantic, they are always described as "never see one without the other", as soulmates, as two people who had a legendary friendship. His love for Sirius did not become his entire personality, but it was an integral part of his growth as a character and his story arc. They were best friends who liked each other's company so much that they literally made magic mirrors to talk during detentions. You cannot tell me that James' Patronus was a stag; his patronus was more likely to be Padfoot. He wasn't obsessed with Sirius like Snape was with Lily, he just had more love for Sirius in his heart than he had arrogance in his mind.

Vice versa for Sirius, who had Prongs as his own Patronus, because James was the one that saved him. James became his friend, irrespective of his last name. James took him in when he ran away from home. James was there for him, always, every time, every day of his life since he was eleven. James was his first friend. Sirius' Patronus was Prongs, and you can't convince me otherwise.

[demonkidpliz]

Things I learned while re-watching Star Plus Mahabharata (Part 20/many):

Really glad that the women chose to stay in Kurukshetra during the battle.

I will never get over Dushasan’s Dyson air-wrapped hair.

I just love the bond between Bhishma and Vidur. So pure.

Krishna and his giant cocktail ring.

Wait, Krishna is doing past life therapy now.

I am so here for the Panchal princes, Shikhandin and Dhrishtadyumna. I love writing about them in my stories also.

Shakuni is right. This war is between him and Krishna. And ironically they both want the same thing. The destruction of the Kurus.

Oh! Arjun bragging about his ability to shoot in the dark. I have a story about this btw.

Oh God, I love this line from Shakuni. If a woman is a mother, she is revered. If she is a wife, she is adored. If she is a daughter, she is someone’s good fortune. If she is someone’s daughter-in-law, she is respected.

Too bad they didn’t adhere to the last part.

Yudhisthir is Yudhisthiring.

Also, everyone here seems to be a TERF or whatever the equivalent is for a trans man.

Why do they keep showing a water body near Kurukshetra? What even is it? The Ganga? The Yamuna? Why does it have waves?

When Shikhandin says that the war was born out of Gandhari and Shakuni and because of what Bhishma did to both of them. Chills. My man speaks FACTS.

Indra is going to pull a fast one on Karna, isn’t he?

But Daddy Surya is going to come and warn him beforehand.

Karna went from being my most favourite character as a child to my most hated as an adult. This is what I call character development.

Karna is co-opting the anti-casteism movement and my man is not even low caste?

What is this ego class between Bhishma and Karna?

Oh, nice foreshadowing with Karna and the stuck wheel!

I’ve said this before but I do not appreciate Starbharat reducing Duryodhan’s relationship with Karna as one of use. Yes, Duryodhan used Karna but they were also best friends. Don’t take that away from them!

Karna recognises Indra, doesn’t he?

Indra has always been a little bitch.

Sometimes Karna reminds me of another annoying, self-righteous person that I can’t stand—Yudhisthir.

Indra to Krishna, probably: hello, nightmare child.

FFS, Arjun doesn’t even recognise his own daddy.

Even my mother is impressed by Shaheer Sheikh’s hair game.

Arjun has finally realised and he’s on the run? What does he want to do? Warn Karna?

I don’t understand how the earrings were protecting Karna? Maybe they were just for style.

It’s time Arjun accepted himself as a nepo baby and moved on.

O RLY? Arjun bringing up Ekalavya is a class act. As if he wasn’t the one who told Dronacharya in the first place that he couldn’t teach Ekalavya—that mini casteist.

Indra says that a part of the Gods (Karna’s earrings and armour) cannot participate in the war yet Narayan himself is participating in the war on the side of the Pandavas. What is this hypocrisy?

Krishna (probably): FFS, Indra. Now I gotta come up with a backup plan for this Indrastra.

Did Krishna just summon Shakuni with dirt?

Oh, Duryodhan seems concerned for Karna and not just upset that he gave away his armour and earrings?

Shakuni looks rightfully disappointed.

Shakuni now casually quoting Balaram???

Don’t be a dumbass and tell your sons about Karna’s birth, Kunti! Your stupid sons will never fight in this war then.

Mamashri Shayla’s hairline is sending me.

Ashwatthama! I am seeing him after so long!

Shalya dragging Dhritarashtra and Gandhari is a 2023 fever dream.

Sahadev, the most inconsequential of the five Pandavas, killing Shakuni is my jam.

How does Bhishma know about Karna’s true parentage? Maybe his mother told him? She’s another piece of work.

Wtf Bhishma is not even related to Arjuna, let alone Karna, FFS.

Duryodhan stroking his sheathed sword is such a…mood.

Duryodhan telling Bhishma to resign as Senapati—you fool, that’s what he wanted all along.

Good done, Duryodhan. You have Drona and Bhishma, neither of whom will touch a hair on the Pandavas’ heads. And now you have Karna who will also not hurt the Pandavas (other than Arjun). But you don’t even know that.

It’s so much nicer in my story where Arjun asks Krishna to be his charioteer.

All the warriors bowing before the Hanuman statue except for my main man, Krishna, coz Ram does not bow before Hanuman.

Krishna looks so done with Yudhisthir’s Yudhisthiring.

Bhishma pulling an UNO reverse card.

Krishna still looks done LMAO.

OG Grandaddy is here.

Dafuq. Satyavati was still alive? How old was she? 300? She saw her grandsons’ grandsons’ kids? My brain cannot comprehend this.

Upset that everyone is calling Ved Vyas, Bhagwan, and not Daddy Pitashri.

Sanjay has been turned into a satellite dish.

Arjun already looks like he is having second thoughts.

Goddamnit it, Arjun.

Krishna is like, now is my time to ✨ shine ✨

Never seen Krishna look so disappointed by Arjun.

My man Arjun is a simpleton. Don’t confuse him further, Krishna.

Did Krishna just call Arjun…impotent?

I love it when Krishna gets mad.

The Bhagavat Gita is going to be one long exercise in calling Arjun stupid it seems.

Krishna has been acting dodgy his whole life. Arjun has known him for most of it. So has he been living under a rock that he doesn’t realise that there is more to Krishna than what meets the eye? He was married to his sister. They are literal cousins. How could he be so oblivious?

Ahimsa hi param dharma hai. We will revisit this in avatar #9.

Arjun is like show me the receipts Vishwaroop.

[malicious-fisheeves]

wrote those ideas down

Very loose, mostly because Im just trying to excise this outta me so I can move on with my life. Feel free to take any of these btw I have no strong attachment

‘Land of Shadow’ more akin to weird purgatory? Ala Hunter’s nightmare where its a weird demi plane kinda thang that twists and warps strangely and has pieces of a physical location but is. Not entirely just that, ie calling into if Marika Literally warped this past land in some kind of way to be inaccessible and hostile and miquella is just kinda twisting it to be less so in a capacity

Da Goal: miquella still seeks godhood bc he’s an idiot. Trying to break the cycle by just recreating it. Dumb ass 😔

Miquella puts the shard bearers in purgatory/eeby derby super hell kind of confinement. Again, it can be vague, but essentially he has trapped their souls in a bottle and is threatening to shake them vigorously if they won’t give him what he wants

In exchange for each soul he acquires, maybe he gives up a piece of himself ala the DLC and we get to see a gradual change theresuch. Maybe he expresses doubts that over time fade and he’s like ‘it’s fiiiiine don’t worry about it I’m just doing what needs to be done :)” - the way we See this change is that we need to interact w miquella to get the scadutree fragment upgrades

Maybe snippets of Marika lore that can be calls both her and Miquella’s parallels

Back the shardbearers you essentially go around their subrealms trying to get them to give up their shit to Miquella. Either for not wishing to do it himself or because he physically can’t, but Miquella can’t just Take their souls from them. Miquella also wishes to convince them to give up ‘willingly’ so as to cement their followers new loyalty to Him instead.

Rennala fight 2.0: hell have her be the rellana fight??? May give us some more of her lore but continue to be vague, could also allude to the horror of The Egg that’s not just ‘boohoo radagon left her :(“. Spooky library 2.0, but Beeger and Magickier…

Follower: Ranni? Or moongrum, or a previously unmentioned carian knight perhaps. Or maybe she doesn’t get one, who knows

Can also get maybe snippets of pre-fuckening carian siblings, more insight onto their relationship albeit still very vague

End of fight: Rennala gives up the goat but again mourns the loss of her children, now again having to come face-to-face with how her love and guidance couldn’t stop her kids from getting themselves killed in the end. In the overworld, she leaves the Academy altogether and can’t be found. It’s unclear if she A. found the resolve to say fuck this i’m out, or B. had a death of dispair. She leaves the egg for you to respec tho

Rykard: Didn’t get to think of this one so much but I had an idea that you’d actually fight some sort of Amped Up Tanith eg you try to fight rykard but he just gets back up bc he’s like haha my hot wife will succeed me 😏 and then you kill her, extra, and he’s like. Fine. here’s your stupid thing. I hope you choke on it. It can perhaps speak to a better clarity of vision Rykard might’ve once had while not necessarily justifying his actions. I also just had the image of Rykard cradling Tanith in pitch darkness, slowly fading from view from the player and it being a moment where you are supposed to go. Hm. maybe what im doing isnt good?

Tanith is like it’s less that I don’t agree with Miquella and do want to see the Erdtree burned down but i am a ride or die bitch so you gotta Earn It, kid.

Radahn: Miquella puts Radahn in the Eternal Torment Pit, mostly out of a personal vendetta even though Miquella’s like No Its Fine I totally get that he nearly killed my sister it was a War You Know *smiling so hard his skin peels off* (again, speaking to Miq’s mortal flaws). Radahn’s done the rigamarole enough time that in between thunder dome hours he does some sort of peaceful activity and maybe even acts like a vendor for the player. He expresses regret, in some capacity, for his wanton past violence, but says he won’t give up his soul because he Does Not Trust Miquella to do whats right.

Jerren is his follower. Allusions to mlm relationships that are not incestuous coercion. Perhaps. 

Mohg/Morgott: Again not entirely certain. I was sort of imagining a sort of nightmarish Subterranean Shunning Grounds But Worse (more frenzy stuff to be found here ala Midra’s manse?) evoking their memories of terror and abandonment. Perhaps by the time we get to them morgott and mohg have already killed each other. Or something, not sure. Someone else have a better idea

That one unused NPC that Loved Morgott Shanehaight and Annsbach (although i refuse to do the mohg-was-manipulated-angle I think we can still have annsbach be like. Well he used to be cooler i guess just having all that power and undying devotion made him like way worse. You know. Like a theme, or something)

Godrick: I actually want to treat him seriously but I can’t think of anything. Maybe he’s just like in the opening area and you can just ask him and he’ll be like. Yeah fine I guess.

Ranni: i think ranni actually did something really funny by upending Miquella’s plans without meaning to. You might fight her body’s pre-death memory of herself. Just me wishing to see Ranni with a huge fuck off weapon like her brothers. Maybe again spiritually guarding Rennala? Again could also be like a ‘sucks to suck miq i yeeted that shit forever ago’

Malenia: final shardbearer you get The Item from. I think Miquella has, in an attempt to be kind, tried to sugarcoat it for her. You find her in some pretty flowery field in the nice warm sunlight, and she’s just waiting for you. She knows why you’re here. She feels betrayed by Miquella. But acquiesces, because she doesn’t or can’t think of not doing so. So you kill her, again.

Finlay as a follower? I like the idea that the entire realm, the boundary between life and death, dreams and memory, are all blurred.

You are given the option to give some part of their leader back to their follower and make changes to the game world or the outcome of a questline. Giving Rya the item from Tanith/Rykard shows that she was wanted, and loved, and not any more an ugly thing than the world itself. Maybe doesn't change that much buy hey. Jerren gets some peace of mind or puts to rest some lingering doubts he had. Annsbach and/or Shanehaight’s endings could be opposites where Annsbach comes to his DLC thang (lord of men not gods etc) whereas Shanehaight’s faith is shaken by how His Guy was an omen.

You get Miquella’s his things and he’s like Thanks Bestie :) see you at the Erdtree. So you go and you fight Radagon and Elden beast and Miquella just stomps the shit out of them. Turns that space worm into creamed corn. And then miquella’s like alright I need a consort to ascend now.

Could be a moonpresence thang where if you didnt get his great rune you can’t say no. ends ominously on an “age of abundance” where your character is charmed.

If you do say no, he will try to kill you. Bossfight. Ends on an unfortunate note, back to base game endings.

[dootznbootz]

pretty please, I will give you a cookie if you tell us what dio thinks of the water wife. (I love her btw. she gets a cookie too)

Thank you so much for the ask and cookie! :D I'm giving you one also!!!

Just a heads up, this probably won't be the answer you're looking for but it is the honest answer for my writing and that's okay! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

He thinks she's neat and is happy for Odysseus! :D

But in all honesty, he has not much thought on her because Odysseus and Diomedes relationship is basically this post in summary to me.

Odysseus and Diomedes are exes in my writing (More on that) and so when Diomedes learns that Odysseus is crushing SO hard on Penelope during the suitors of Helen/Oath of Tyndareus, he walks up to him and is genuinely like "Hey, just so you know, I'm happy for you." while Odysseus is a snappy little shit :P

Diomedes feels bad for Odysseus during the war though, despite the fact that Odysseus bullies him throughout it and the Iliad especially because he's petty. As that's how their relationship read to me. While they work great together during battle and missions, they don't do much of anything outside of that in my writing. (Reasons why he's petty and mean. People can enjoy different things and disagree and still respect each other! :D )

Penelope used to think poorly of him based on how Odysseus talked about their "romance" but Diomedes, alongside Sthenelus, does visit her after the war to tell her about Odysseus. Diomedes never really knew Penelope before the war but talking with her a bit makes him realize why Odysseus loves her so much.

"You two are the exact same."

Diomedes and Sthenelus plays with young Telemachus as well 😝

And she even mentions that to Odysseus when he returns and he's still a little shit about it

Penelope: He's not that bad, Odysseus! He played with Telemachus even! Odysseus, even more angry as he realizes that Diomedes got to play games with Telemachus before he did: ...Prick >:(

In conclusion, he thinks she's neat. He's happy Odysseus is so happy. He doesn't really have thoughts about her otherwise. With Odysseus, he just thinks is a petty little bitch of a co-worker who can't let stupid things from when they were teens go.

I'm really sorry if I disappointed you but it's my writing so I do what I please! That doesn't mean you can't write your own though! :D

[blnk338]

I figured out this personality test and I’d like to see what Reaper gets!

would Nadya be a big game hunter or trophy fisher? (I’m also curious to know Rigos choice as well!)

i dont think rigo or reaper care much for big game hunting, but I'm a firm believer in the idea that rigo demands they go on a weekend getaway to tahoe or something (can you even fish at lake tahoe? idk you can now) and he spends like hundreds of dollars on gear they'll use just the one time

...

...

...

[unedited]

"You're an ass."

"It's a man thing! We're manly!"

"How is sitting around for four hours for some fish to bite a metal thing, manly?" Reaper sighed, adjusting the bucket hat over her head as she climbed in the boat after him. Clad in sunglasses, a stupid fishing hat with the text "fishing to avoid my bitch wife" embroidered across the front, plus the most heinous tan cargo shorts ever; Reaper was right as rain to fish. Rigo, on the other hand, bought "tactical" fishing shorts and a "tactical" fishing vest and a "tactical"-- you get the idea. "What are we catching then? Sturgeon?"

"You think there are sturgeon in this lake?!" He laughed out loud as his friend began to paddle them into the center of the sunny body of water. "I don't know. I'm not really a fish expert. It's not like they have much to say."

"That's so offensive."

"Like, at least sharks are cool. They're like big sea puppies. Stupid and bite you sometimes." Rigo, excited that she brought it up, happily grinned her way. "And I appreciate you appreciating them, but there aren't any sharks up here, just trout and stuff!"

She sighed loudly and kept paddling as Rigo continued to set up the rods. "Still, I think we're gonna come out of this with nothing and you're going to be disappointed."

"You're being a negative Nancy."

"I'm floored by your insult." About ten more minutes of paddling and she was wiped, landing them in the middle of the lake as they threw their lines out. One second passed. Two seconds passed. Three seconds passed.

"...Riveting, really."

"Shut up!!" Rigo yelled, his own hat taking up the entire fucking sun, adjusting his glasses. "Now we sit, wait, and be patient and happy-- we're bonding!"

But four sandwiches and two sodas later, Reaper was passed the fuck out after about three hours of gossip and shit-talking with her friend, quietly dozing off.

Tug, tug.

Rigo, who was just about to lightly smack her, jumped and started to reel in his catch. Leaning left, right, left again, pulling back, releasing, all the shaking began to wake Reaper up. Glasses falling slightly off her face, they shot open as she watched her friend pull in a massive trout. Beaming ear to ear, Rigo held up his prize, albeit slippery in his fingers, grinning with pride.

Sure, did Reaper fall asleep? Yeah. But did she manage to catch Rigo's joy just in the nick of time? Absolutely. At the end of the day, she enjoyed the trip, and the fish, and Rigo knew it deep down.

this was rigos hat btw