#he told me through an ouija board

[ceofcatgirls]

'DOLLARS TRILOGY' director Sergio Leone confirms 'The Man With No Name' is bisexual.

"He's bisexual and stuff"

[corvidaedream]

i love children who decide on a tour with a particularly quiet group that they are going to be my hype man. this is usually either a teenage girl or an elementary school boy.

today it was a little boy in a celtics jersey who followed me around like a little duck the whole tour and had overdramatic reactions to everything i said, including frequently nodding and saying "so true, bro."

[dankmaths]

I'm like 90% sure if I don't get more of your ghost au I may just implode so like 🥺👉👈

not necessarily my AU but i ended up drawing smth based on a scene from @novethegreat's fic, "In Love With A Ghost". ooohhhh you wanna read it so bad ooooohh

+more google doc delusions ive had in my head for a long time and havent been possessed to draw under the cut please work god please

i like to think once yosuke gets over the whole undead roommate thing he starts to feel bad for leaving yu at home all day. (like a pet dog.....) so at some point he invites chie and yukiko over. maybe it’s a study session. but at first yukiko can’t make it so it’s just chie. yosuke tells yu to stay put in the room since chie is scared of ghosts (just like yosuke she’ll never admit it though lol). chie says that she and yukiko have been working on a new recipe and offers to cook which yosuke shoots down Very quickly, offering to cook himself, since a "friend" of his has been teaching him-- he very conveniently leaves out the whole undead roommate thing. but when he’s preparing the food he accidentally cuts his finger. yu forgets what he’s told and rushes through the walls into the kitchen scaring chie on accident.

yosuke: OW shit

yu: (phasing through the wall) yosuke! are you ok?

chie: yosuke! are youuuuuuUUUUAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

yukiko, the occult lover, is unable to see/hear ghosts… but when she hears abt "OHHH HANAMURAS APT IS HAUNTED ITS SO SCARY ITS AWFUL!!! i mean the ghost didnt kill me or anything he was actually pretty polite but its AWFUL!!!!!!" from chie, she gets sooo excited and begs yosuke to invite her over (for the ghost obviously not for yosuke. which is a bit of a blow to his ego LOL). and she comes in with a ouija board so she can talk to yu

yukiko: so. where is it?

yosuke: his name is yu. damn, not even a hello.

yukiko: well, where is he?

yosuke: …right over there.

yu tries to play along bc he thinks its fun, to yosukes exasperation. however he has trouble staying solid for very long so it takes foreverrrrr. but basically i think yu and yukiko writing each other notes to communicate like point blank pen pals would be cute… also when the others are around who can hear yu, playing telephone with what he says to yukiko and fucking it up (on accident OR on purpose) would be rly funny

[dinneronvenus]

Doesn’t Matter Now

⭑ Gojo x fem reader

⭑ inspired by the song “doesn’t matter now” by flyingfish (listen to that while you read for max effect)

⭑ tags: ANGST ON 100, description of a jujutsu technique that forfeits the sorcerer’s life, death, a funeral, a hopeless and depressed Gojo goes to a medium, hinted reincarnation

⭑ synopsis: Gojo already lost his only true friend, so he never thought losing a woman could hurt him so badly

“There’s nothing you could’ve done, Gojo. You didn’t even know.” Utahime spoke softly, her own pain wanting to break through in her voice. “Nobody did.”

Gojo remained silent, eyes glazed over, a cocktail of negative emotions mixing in his mind. He couldn’t even look at Utahime, whose outfit would remind him of you. They stood in the ruins of the shrine your family had built and ran for generations. It had come under attack by many cursed spirits and you had fulfilled your duty to protect the people who lived and worked there, as well as its secrets. With everyone else safe, it would be rebuilt and restored to its original glory, something that should have been a silver lining.

“It is not uncommon for a high priestess to give her life for her people.” Utahime said, voice breaking at the end. This brought Gojo even less comfort.

“You think I don’t know that? You think I hadn’t heard her say those exact words to me before?!” He snapped, still not able to take his eyes off the scene in front of him. It was Utahime’s turn to stay silent.

In the middle of the leveled temple, there was the evidence of your bravery. A set of heavy stone doors bearing an ancient inscription, left open by whatever you had summoned to walk through them, loomed over the two sorcerers. Gojo already knew they’d be used as a gate to honor your memory and remember your sacrifice. His eyes begged to see any scrap of you in the rubble. Maybe this was just a trick, and you were hiding behind one of the doors.

“What could her technique have been to have killed her in the process?” He whispered to the open air, not thinking anyone could’ve heard him.

“Gehenna Gate, it is a technique with the highest of costs,” A raspy voice broke the unbearable quiet. It was your mother, who despite everything, managed to keep a small smile on her face for your surviving friends. “I am sorry she never told you that properly. She wanted to protect you, in her own way.” Her hand came down on Gojo’s shoulder and the kindness in her touch almost burned him alive.

“I didn’t… I wish she…” Gojo stuttered out, hot tears stinging his eyes. Your mother pulled him into a hug, shushing him like a child.

Five days later, your funeral was to be held at your family cemetery in the mountains overlooking the temple. Gojo had no idea how he would survive that. He spent the time until your funeral looking for someone who could communicate with the dead. Thanks to his power and connections, he found one the night before and prepared himself to have one last conversation with you.

“Welcome, sir. I assume you’re here to see Mistress Takemi?” The young man spoke just loud enough to be heard over the jingle of the bell from the door shutting behind him.

“Yeah, and she knows already so I’m just gonna head back there,” Gojo sauntered through the foyer and down the hall to the back room where a woman in black and purple robes standing over a large glass table was waiting on him.

“Welcome Satoru,” she spoke cheerfully with a deep voice that echoed her years of life.

“Don’t call me that. Can we get started?” The overly familiar attitude irked him. The woman cleared her throat and dropped her cheerful act.

“I suppose we can get right to it then.”

The woman had a technique that essentially made her into a human ouija board. Her hands rested on the glass table and it began to glow a soft greenish-blue. Gojo could see the dark circles and puffiness of his eyes in the reflection, suddenly feeling ashamed of himself for being this unable to accept that you were gone.

“Satoru?” His name again, but this time he could hear your voice mixing with Takemi’s voice. He said your name in disbelief, tears of joy in his eyes.

“Yes, yes! It’s me, I wa—”

“You can’t do this, Satoru. It’s against the laws.”

“Please, don’t tell me that right now. You hid so much from me, please just let me ask you one thing.”

Silence. Fearing he’d miss his chance, he went ahead with his question.

“Did you ever really love me?” The depth of sadness and desperation in his voice was unbearable to you, even in your disembodied state. “Why couldn’t you have told me? I could’ve helped you, I would’ve done anything to have saved you.”

“In the mountains where they’ll bury me, follow a trail that begins with pink and white flowers. You’ll find everything you want to know at the end. Goodbye, Satoru.”

“No, no, no,” He wiped the tears from his face and gripped both of Takemi’s shoulders, shouting. “Please come back! I can’t do this again!”

Regaining full control of herself, Takemi pushed Gojo off her and had him escorted out of her shop. The whole world was one hideous shade of grey. He walked for a while with no destination in mind but the grave. He wanted to go find that trail right now but he didn’t have anything else left in him. He wanted to sleep for the rest of his life. Returning home, he set his alarm and went to bed with your instructions in mind.

Utahime and Gojo walked with each other up the mountain to the funeral site. Utahime thought it was odd but refreshing to see him dressed in more traditional clothing. Just one more thing that only you could get him to do.

Everyone took their places, and your father stepped up to the podium. “We are gathered here to send our beloved high priestess to her place of final rest with her ancestors…”

Once the funeral was complete, no one but Gojo, Utahime and your mother lingered too long.

“I’m sorry again for your loss, ma’am.” Utahime said, bowing deeply. Your mother gave her another one of those wise, otherworldly smiles.

“I don’t think I’ve really lost her.” She said before taking a last look around the cemetery and turning to leave. “Why don’t we give him some space?” She motioned to Gojo and Utahime followed her.

Now alone with your memory and your ghost, Gojo began to look for this trail you had mentioned. It took him a while to find it but when he did, his path to the end was quick. It led to a small clearing where the grass was lush, and he was consumed by the smell of many different kinds of flowers and plants. The sight of the small garden was as beautiful as you were to him.

Looking around for anything that could be the answer you spoke of, he saw a faint bit of energy coming from inside a tree. When he got close to the tree, he found it had a hollow spot in it where you’d left a diary. He fished it out and walked to a shaded place in the clearing to begin reading it. Every page was an entry about the two of you together. All of your private feelings from when he was just a crush, and once you had gotten closer, you even glued in pictures you’d taken together.

Gojo couldn’t control his tears or hide his sobs. His body shook against the tree as he held the diary close to his chest. He calmed down enough to continue reading it, with the last entry being dated a week ago.

She knew she was going to die… He thought. You had written about the rise of cursed spirits in the area of increasing numbers and strength and how you felt like it was time for you to fulfill your duty to your people. More than that though, you wrote about how you wished you could have told Gojo. How you wanted to stay with him forever, how he was the only thing you’d ever loved as much as you loved the Gods, and how because of that you wanted to make sure he was safe and didn’t have to fight for once.

It was all too much, Gojo swore he would drown in his own tears right there. The wind picked up and blew the diary’s pages, landing on entry from before you two had met.

6.25 — Training Notes: after a long session of training and studying my technique’s history in my family. I have learned of a way I might be able to circumvent its cost. If I summon a deity of destruction that has the ability to reincarnate, then I will reincarnate too! One of my ancestors did that long ago, although it took 59 days for them to come back.

Gojo couldn’t believe what he was reading. He wiped his eyes on his sleeves furiously and scrambled to his feet. He stored your diary in an inner pocket of his kimono and made his way down the mountains to the temple ruins.

He inspected the gate and found exactly what he needed to be able to accept the loss of the only woman he’s ever loved. Utahime was strolling the grounds when she noticed him in the air, getting a close look at the doors.

“Gojo, what do you think you’re doing? Get down here!” Utahime found his behavior so disgraceful. He chuckled on his way back to earth.

“I was just checking on something. Had to be sure that I wasn’t seeing things.”

His eyes were red and puffy, but his annoyingly cheerful attitude was starting to return. Utahime couldn’t tell if she was relieved or annoyed.

“Checking on what?”

“Eh,” Gojo put a hand over the diary in his pocket.

“Doesn’t matter now.”

[flamingpudding]

Modern (Fenton) Ghost Hunting Part 1

Ties to: Post from under 'It started with a Ouija Board' found in the Masterpost

A/N: I got a little stuck with this and there is another bigger fanfic project I started working on that has me distracted. But I wanted to post at least part of this before I might end up in radio silence for three weeks cause I am visiting family out of country and have no idea about internet access there yet 😅

Danny was in a good mood as he slurped the ecto-shake his mom had made upon his return from the Zone. It was one of the more harmless and ghost helping food inventions his parents had come up with, once the truth was out of the bag when he was more or less forced to take on his kingly duties. Though his mom's ecto-fudge special (that was also one of the few ectoplasm infused foods not coming back to life) made for only him and Ellie was even better than the shakes. It wasn't better than their special family recipes their Dad loved so much but it came a close second.

He sipped on it more as he fell back into the couch as he flicked through some TV channels. His last trip to Gotham had been a month ago and he mused that he probably would need to visit soon to update Lady Gotham on the status of the Garbage Disposal Leaks. It was a pain to deal with but hey at least he, for once, got to be the mean guy to yell at the observants how they could have left these alone for over a hundred of years.

Seriously? If he could, he would stick Sam and one of her righteous rants onto them too.

So yea Danny was in a good mood he had gotten rid of another leak which only left a couple more to take care of and then put the observants into their place with another petty with hidden insults filled and Sam inspired as well as co-authored lecture.

He would give Lady Gotham a present for giving him such a great opportunity with this problem, even if that wasn't her intention. There was also a rumor in the GZ that Box Ghost and Walker had gotten beat up by Lady Gotham several times while he was busy, he would like to hear what that was about.

In all this Danny completely forgot about his encounter with the vigilantes and that his parents told him about a new business partner that was interested in their Fenton Ghost Tech that wasn't weaponry but focused on co-existence, like the Fenton (blob-)ghost feeder.

So when the doorbell rang and Danny went to open the door, thinking it might be one of his friends. He nearly choked on his ecto-shake as he came face to face with a person he only knew from paparazzi shots or Tucker's endless rants about their technology.

"Hello, I am Tim Drake-Wayne! I believe I have an appointment with the Drs Fentons? I am not too early am I?"

-------

Red Robin was on his wits end. After the first success he had used various more 'modern' summonings in hopes of getting their ghost to show up again. But most of them ended with the same white ghost or only one other ghost claiming their name as Box Ghost to appear. Strangely when they did appear, after about a minute after their appearance an invisible force started to attack them to which these ghosts instantly turned tail and 'unsummoned' themselves. They didn't even give Red Robin the chance to ask anything.

In the end after the third time of summoning that white ghost called Walker, the ghost peeked out from that portal once and the moment they spotted him sunk back into it. Not even bothering to tell him about any rules RR might have broken. Since then none of his summons appeared to work anymore.

Though the vigilante at least concluded that whatever had attacked their teenage ghost most likely was also the driving force behind Walker or any other ghost refusing to answer his summonings. He had suspicions that might have something to do with Lady Gotham, the teenage ghost mentioned and had been unable to summon at all.

Of course Red Robin couldn't leave it like that so he dug deeper into the whole ghost cult thing and came across published research papers. Apparently the ghost cult wasn't just an occult but also a science, that he highly doubted was real. The deeper he dug the more concerned he became, for one that ectoplasm they mentioned looked awfully a lot like Lazarus Water, and second the research from the Drs Fenton he found was awfully a lot biased until a year or so ago when they suddenly invalidated all their previous research and published a nearly completely different thesis.

Though the teenage vigilante had to admit everything they offered on their website looked a whole lot more modern and right out of a SyFy movie than any of the tools he had already purchased, from a ghost Wikipedia (which surprisingly included information about Walker and that Box Ghost), to protective gear, to feeders and ectoplasm infusers.

So after a small recon with his siblings and listening to their disagreement and another rant from their youngest about Pit Demons, Red Robin made the decision to check these Drs Fenton out undercover. And who better to do that than Tim Drake-Wayne, CoCEO of Wayne Enterprise who got interested in their ectoplasm-powered gadgets designed for co-existing. After all Gotham might just be as hunted if not more with the crime rate they had.

His siblings were not happy, he knew that but he took the earliest chance he had, to take a private plane to Amity Park and made an appointment with the Fentons on a saturday afternoon.

He made sure to smile pleasantly as the son of the Drs Fentons opened the door and took his time staring. Before finally inviting him in after a shout from the Drs. resounded somewhere behind him in the house. Tim of course eyed the glowing green shake the other teenager was drinking, already forming plans on getting a sample of it the first chance he got.

"Mr. Drake! Such a pleasure to have you here! You have already met my little boy Danny, my husband will join us later he got hold up by my daughters. But we do have a couple of inventions prepared for showcasing, we could also go over some of the theories first if you prefer until my husband can join us.." A woman came up shaking his hand and the teenager, Danny, stepped away from them retreating further away but staying in earshot, Tim noted.

"Dr. Fenton, thank you for having me. I am looking forward to learning about this ecto-energy and your Fenton-inventions, I believe one was called an Ecto-Infuser?" Did he imagine it or did that boy cringe? Also the boy was clearly watching him, he tried to appear nonchalant but the way the other teen's eyes followed Tims every move as well as the guarded look in his eyes was making it obvious.

"The Ecto-Dejecto, originally designed to weaken ghosts but is now one of the many medical tools that can help a ghost survive if they do not have a steady supply of ectoplasm." Dr. Fenton easily explained while leading him over to the seating area.

"Danny be a dear and bring our guest something to drink. Coffee or Tea?"

"Coffee would be fine." Not like he would actually drink it. As much as he and his siblings made fun of Bruce's paranoia, he was not about to drink coffee offered by people who research ghosts. Besides, looking around, he wasn't sure how well they followed OSHA and he wasn't about to potentially drink a coffee infused with Lazarus Water. If that ectoplasm was Lazarus water. But he would take it with him as one of many samples.

"Sure things mom. Should I bring out the fudge too?"

Tim's ear twitched and he turned ever so slightly in the direction of the son. No it couldn't be, could it?

"Oh please be so kind."

"Will be right back."

Now Tim wished he had forced at least one of his siblings along. Because if his ears didn't betray him then this teenager had the same voice like the ghost kid. Though his memory could be slightly impaired because of the time frame since he had last heard it. He would need to get a voice recording now too and play it to his siblings.

[wol-fica]

-𝕎𝕠𝕖 𝕀𝕤 𝕄𝕖?- ℙ𝕋𝟜

pairings - wenclair x daughter!reader

summary - closer comes with apologies to your mothers, but will that peace last?

warnings - none

an - you can read this while you wait for the new smut fic

————————

Humans are creatures of prescribed non-perfection.

No matter how hard one tries, they will never be the best version of themselves. They will never fit the puzzle piece of a perfect society member, and they will always have at least one thing wrong with them. 

With you, your imperfections came at an alarming rate and were exceedingly wrong in most people’s eyes. Instead of playing with barbie’s as a kid, you played with knives and ouija boards. Instead of running around at the playground with Luka, you chose to snatch kids and drag them into the woods while they screamed and cried for their mommies. While every other “normal” child grew up to do normal things, you stuck with the abnormal side of the world.

In simple terms, you were just weird.

“I don’t understand.” Luka said, eyeing you carefully while you ate your salad, “You told mom and mama that you didn’t love them anymore?”

“Contrary, I just told them I wish they weren’t my parents.” You replied, chewing on a cucumber while you read your book.

“Basically the same thing.”

“No it isn’t.”

“Ehhh it sounds the same.”

“Luka.” You said, setting your fork down and turning to him, “Stop pestering me about it.”

“But-.” He started before trailing off when he saw the look you were giving him, “Okay.”

You nodded, reaching over to give his shoulder a gentle pat. He smiled at you, then turned back to his own lunch; raw cow thigh. It was still parents weekend, but the rest of your family wouldn’t be joining you until later for the carnival hangout.

You weren’t nervous, that’s not the word you would use, but you definitely were feeling uneasy about being around your parents. You knew how your mothers temper could get, especially if your mom was upset about something. You’ve never been in the line of fire with her temper, but you have witnessed the twins getting the heat on their necks from time to time. 

To say it’s scary is an understatement, the way she yelled at them was a terrifying sight to see. Your mother was one of the very few things you were afraid of, hence why you steered clear of getting into trouble with her when she was angry.

Unfortunately, now you were the center of her frustration due to your honest comments about how you felt neglected, which ultimately leads to her being salty with you all of the carnival day. At the moment, Luka was dragging you around to each and every game he could find, your brothers are your heels while your parents trailed behind.

“Oooh, Y/N look! You could totally beat that one!” Louis said, pushing you towards an archery game. 

You scowled, shrugging his hands off of you to turn to face the game clerk. He held his hand out for money to play, and Luka slapped five dollars into his hand with a smile.

“Our sister is gonna dominate this game.” Louis yelled, sneering at the game clerk.

“And she will make sure none beat her name.” Leo added on, a devious smile on his face.

“Ten for ten?” Luka asked from your right, watching as you picked up the cheap bow, “Should I bet on you?”

Your lips quirked into a small smirk, your eyes flickering to him, “If you do, you’ll definitely be rich.”

You drew back the first arrow, staring into your brother's icy blue eyes, and let go. The arrow flew forward, and pierced right through the center of the first target. Your brothers cheered, clearly happy with how your first shot went. To your left, you could just barely pick up on your mom lightly clapping, while your mother brooded next to her. 

“Yeah, you will be rich.” You mumbled to Luka before hitting the next nine shots perfectly. 

“That’s why you’re my favorite sister.” He chuckled, taking the large teddy bear from the now butthurt game clerk.

“I’m your only sister.”

“Exactly!”

You rolled your eyes, taking your bag from him and slinging it over your shoulder. Louis and Leo hurried past you and looped their arms into Luka’s, dragging him away towards an ongoing hotdog eating contest. You turned, just in time to see Wednesday hurry past you to follow them. Soon you were left alone with your mom, an awkward silence between the two of you. 

“Your archery has gotten better.” Enid said, walking closer until she stood beside you, “Have you been practicing with Xavier’s daughter?”

“Yes, Mika has been giving me tips.” You replied, eyes trained on Luka stuffing his face with four hotdogs. 

Another pregnant pause, one that made a bubbly feeling of anxiety rise in your throat. Your hands started to feel clammy, but before you could say anything, your mom beat you to it.

“I know you didn’t mean what you said.” She murmured, staring at you with warm eyes, “At least I hope you didn’t.”

You nodded, silently agreeing with her words. She smiled, and moved closer to bump her shoulder against yours in a playful way.

“Wednesday is upset,” She began, reaching out to brush a lock of hair behind your ear, “But I’m positive she would be happy if you apologized.”

You nodded again, sniffling softly as tears made their way to your eyes. Your mom picked up on that, and was quick to pull you into a hug. Your arms immediately went around her body, nuzzling your face into her chest for comfort as you tried to suppress your sobs.

“It’s okay.” Enid said, her lips pressing to your temple, “You are always allowed to cry.” 

At her words you broke, letting the tears fall down your face and into her sweater as you hiccuped and cried into her chest. She rubbed your back, whispering words of comfort into your ear while she held you.

“I’m sorry.” You whimpered, tightening your hold on her, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean any of it.”

“I know, I know.” Your mom cooed, softly cradling your head, “It’s okay, I forgive you baby.”

You cried quietly, your sobs soon shrinking down to sniffles against her colorful sweater. She held you close, gently swaying from side to side to help calm you down. You vaguely heard footsteps approaching, but your senses were overwhelmed with tears and your mom that you couldn’t comprehend who they belonged to.

“Hey Y/N/N.” Enid whispered, giving you a small squeeze, “Wednesday is here.”

You sucked in a breath, leaning back to look up to your mother, meeting her black eyes. Her gaze was softer than usual, yet still held its brooding demeanor. You gulped, choosing to stare at the ground instead of her.

“I’m sorry…for saying what I said.” You mumbled, playing with your hands, “I didn’t mean it, and I never will.”

Enid had her hand on your back, gently caressing up and down to help calm you. You stood in silence, expecting your mother to rain hellfire down on you, but nothing came. 

Instead, she moved forward and pulled you into her arms, giving you a tight hug. You stiffened, unsure of what to do since your mother almost NEVER gave hugs. She held you, pulling your body close to hers.

“I forgive you.” Wednesday said, pulling back to look at you, “Thank you for apologizing.”

You nodded, feeling a bit awkward just standing there. Enid came up next to you, leaning over to whisper something in your mothers ear. She smiled and nodded, but before you could even question anything, Luka comes barreling out of nowhere with a trophy in his hand and mustard all over his face.

“I WON!” He screamed, almost tackling you to the ground, “158 HOTDOGS!”

“Amazing.” You said sarcastically, pushing him off of you, “You smell like mustard, get away from me.”

He gave you a cheesy grin and turned to your mom, showing her the trophy in which she squealed to. The twins ran up with their own miniature trophies, and soon the four werewolves were jumping up and down in pure joy. You scowled at the sight, glancing at your mother who wore the same exact look, and let out a little laugh.

“What’s so funny.” She asked, turning to you.

“None of your business.” You shot back.

“It is my business if you’re laughing at me.”

“Who said I was laughing at you? Is everything about you?”

Wednesday snorted, pulling you into a side hug with a kiss to the top of your head. You hummed, leaning your head on her shoulder while your arm went around her. 

“Thank you for forgiving me.” You said, looking up at your mother.

“Of course, I’ll always forgive you.” She replied, a small smile at the sight of her family in front of her.

“I…I love you mama.” You mumbled, tucking yourself closer into her side.

Wednesday froze up, and looked down at you, taking in the fact you said that before smiling warmly.

“I love you too, bonita niña.”

———————————

taglist: @cartierdreamx@tundra1029@red1culous@vorsdany@andsoigotabutterfly@theafterofnevermore@yomomisgay@house-of-lovin@slvt4lanadelrey@thenextdawn@nepobaby08@dunohilly@somekindofpoet@alexkolax@cinffy23@pedrosprincess@amberfreemansburntface@myfturn

[psychwxrdd]

MORE STEP BRO DONNIE IM BEGGINGGGGGG

so sorry for taking long sweetheart, i've been working on a lot of requests but i'm really hating everything i write lately. you guys have so many good ideas i wanna write about all of them, at some point i swear i will, just need to work on this because i want it to be good. donnie makes me so inspired y'all can send any requests about him whenever y'all want to !!

Rumours

Summary: Donnie, your step brother, takes you to Middlesex "most haunted house" on Hallowen's night, where apparently, a terrible case of murder happened. He wants to play with Ouija Board. You always believed in demons and evil itself, but never would've imagine it to come this close to you.

masterlist

Warnings: Horror, Demonic Possession, Supernatural themes, Ouija Board, Domestic Violence, Murder, Non Con, 18+

english is not my first language btw, always apologize for any mistakes!

do not read this if any of the warnings makes you feel uncomfortable or triggered. i explore horror, grotesque and dark themes, if you can't stand it, just don't read PLEASE

"Are you sure this won't get us in trouble?" You hissed, already regretting for even suggesting the house near Donnie. You knew he was a freak, knew he would have some stupid idea and he would persuade you to do it, in one way or another. Hands sweating, heart anxious and a belly ache. Felt like you'd die at any second with so much panic.

"Trust me, we're gonna have fun, it's much better than if we just went to some boring party, you wouldn't have a story to tell your kids." He tapped the back of your head and you sighed. You were finally in front of the so called haunted house.

It didn't looked awful, not at all, it was pretty preserved. The rumours said the crime happened back in the late 60s or early 70s, a couple used to live there with their only children. Not a child, actually, probably a teenager or a young adult, you weren't quite sure which one was the "true" history - If anything really did in fact happen, so many different versions were told. They were italians apparently, and the dad was an alcoholic, violent man. You even heard a version telling there was a sister but that she had depression and tried to kill herself, so he send her to a mental hospital. Not because he cared, he didn't wanted people to associate her to them.

Then one day, while his wife and son were sleeping, he woke up and shoot them both. He told the authorities it was the house, that "they told him to do it ", and since they moved in his behaviour had changed completely, making him act like a mad man. No one ever told you the end, what could have possibly happened to him; Was he arrested? Checked in a mental hospital for insanity? Did anyone took it seriously, the possibilty of a possession?

But again, it was just a urban legend. Just some history to tell to your friends in school and make them hold their pee because they are too scared to walk to the bathroom alone. It was stupid to consider and fear this.

"You're coming?" Donnie asked and you blinked, realizing you were thinking too much about it, more than you should. At your big age, shouldn't be so scared of ghost stories.

"Yeah."

"Y'know i won't let anything bad happen to you, first noise and we run as fast as we can" He reassured you, cleaning the Ouija Board with a piece of his shirt. You just nod, too nervous to reply. "Hey, look, we can leave if you're really scared"

"No...I'm not a coward." You tried to act confident.

He opened the door, a sharp sound ringing through the empty, big place. It was definetly very old, smelled like something rotting, something left behind for enough time to be forgotten.

"Shit" Donnie muttered. His eyes scanning the whole living room, a bit amazed. If the family stuff was true, then they were surely rich and europeans in fact. He couldn't help but feel disturbed by the slight different tone of colors next to the window, it didn't looked just dirty, it looked like something you can not wash away, something penetrated permanently. Like when you break a glass of grape juice and take too long to clean, like you slept for days and forgot it there.

You were too tense to dive on it, tho. You didn't wanted to think about what was that, maybe just some other dumb teenagers who got inside the house to drink, do drugs or have sex. It could be anything really.

"C'mon, let's do it Donnie"

"What a badass" He smiled, teasing. You just rolled your eyes.

"Should we do it right here or upstairs?"

"I don't know if those stairs are trustable"

"Or are you just scared?"

This time, Donnie stared at you with an annoyed look, making you laugh.

"I don't fear anything."

"Yeah, sure" You crossed your arms. "I wanna see the bedrooms."

Sighing, he just agreed. Very carefully stepping ground by ground, afraid of it might breaking all of sudden. You held his arm, strongly, more scared of falling than of any ghost.

In fact, the house was very big, you would easily live here - if you had the money to afford it in perhaps another life. The first room was probably the guests one. Following to two big bathrooms, one with a bathtub, and more five rooms. It was hard to guess which one could had possibly belonged to any of them. Again, maybe there weren't any of "them".

"Look at this" Donnie grabbed your wrist, and you felt your mouth opening. That room belonged to a teenager, for sure.

Bowie, Morrison, Nick Drake, MLB and Sharon Tate's posters on the wall, cars and trucks miniatures, organized shells of books... Someone surely used to live there.

"You think his ghost will curse us if we steal some...?" He asked, and you tapped his arm.

"Shut up" You were still curious about everything, but mostly, you were paralized by the fear that hit you once you realized maybe the rumours were true after all. "We're playing it here"

He widened his eyes. "...Okay"

"Whats the stare for?"

"I just don't think it's a good idea, you know, if this was really the son's room and if the history is true, we're being hella disrespectful"

You chuckled, sarcastically.

"Are you fucking serious? Donnie this was your idea! It doesn't matter which place from the house, we're already here for only one reason, that would be disrespectful at anywhere!"

He sighed. You wanted to punch him in the face.

"Yeah, but-"

"Cut the "but", don't be a fucking coward!"

Darko's face went to a blank expression. "Okay, i'm not a fucking coward."

You sat on the floor, no longer wasting time. He followed you.

"You know the rules, don't you?" He asked in a serious tone, you nodded. "Answer with words"

"Yes, i know the rules!" You noticed how tense he was by the mood swing.

"Once we start this, you can not leave, not take your finger off of the board, you have to be focused, alright?"

"Alright" you breathed, heavily. You kind of wanted to cry, you didn't even really wanted this in the beggining, Donnie convinced you. Then he gets scared and regret and now he's dead serious, it did something to your brain. You felt like you were about to have a panic attack at any second.

The silence was bothering you, way too much. You wanted to turn your head and stare at the door every 5 seconds, but you couldn't. The only sound in the room was you and Donnie's heavy breath.

"I start" He explained. You just stared at him, your fingers were holding so tight against the board you saw it was white. "Try to control the shaking hands"

You tried your hardest, but it was almost impossible. You were too nervous, even your chin was creaking a bit.

"Dear spirits, we want to talk. Is there any spirit in the room with us right now?"

Nothing.

"Is anyone else here?"

Nothing.

Your hands both stood there, not moving for anything in this world - and out of this world, mostly. Still, nothing happened.

"Is any spirit in the room willing to talk to us right now?"

Then, it moved. It fucking moved. You felt your whole body tingling, your heart beating faster and your hands felt cold. It couldn't be really happenin, could it?

You knew - felt - Donnie was also scared as hell, but he was stronger than you, he tried to be. He wanted to show you he would protect you, that "he had no fear". Fear is not what move us as human beings, he hated that idea.

"Now that you're in the room with us, please, tell us your name"

Your hands both moved to random letters. It didn't made any sense, it seemed like just a bunch of non sense words. You were quick to come with one, it was "bowshed".

You were both paralized in fear, you could feel Donnie's hand sweating.

"How did you died?"

Again, the hands moved to random letters. The same letters. "bowshed".

You could tell Donnie was trying hard to figure out what word was that, what the hell did that meant.

"When did you died?"

The hands moved to the numbers over the board. "31/10/1973"

Your eyes were filled with tears, but you breathed and swallowed, you had to be brave.

"What do you want?" Donnie asked, and you stared at him with wide eyes. The wasn't exactly a proper question to ask to a ghost you invoked, probably.

"Donnie, what are you doing?"

He then took his hands off of the board, all of sudden, standing up, moving towards you so quickly you thought it was inhuman. He grabbed you by the throat.

"Don-" You struggled to finish, chocking on his strong hands "Donnie..."

There was something different about his eyes. It didn't looked dark, or red, or any other color. But it looked like someone else's eyes. It wasn't Donnie, it looked so weird, so disturbing. If it wasn't for his hands on your neck, you would scream in fear.

"Who invited you, bitch?" He hollered, you smelled alcohol and weed on his breath. "Huh?"

His veins were popping out of his forehead in anger, his face looked red.

"Cat got your tongue?" He threw you on the floor and you desperatedly cried and gasped for air, crawling backwards in direction to the door. But before you could get there, you heard it slamming hard.

Donnie, or whoever was that, kept staring at you. He took his belt off, and you frozed, crying hysterically. You were ready to feel the pain against your skin, but then you heard a woman screaming.

You opened your eyes, and the scene in front of you made you feel chills all over your body; Donnie was smiling at you. Not the usual smiles he gave you, this was sinister. You just wanted to run to your mom now, you were in fact a coward, it didn't mattered.

You heard now also the sound of what it seemed to be a boy crying, it was horrible to hear. There was blood all over the floor, you couldn't tell where was it coming from.

Then he suddenly grabbed you, turning you around and pressing your face agaisnt the floor. This couldn't be happening. He sat upon you, lifting your dress up and beating the belt on your ass.

"Gotta teach you some manners, whore. Teach you to not fucking get to whats none of your business"

He hitted, again. Again. Again. Again. The more he hitted you, the more you heard the woman voice's screaming. You never wished so bad to have a nightmare, you wanted this all to be nothing more than a nightmare.

"Please, stop..." You begged, sobbing.

You heard him unzipping his pants. No, no, no, this wasn't happening. You were not there.

"What did you do to Donnie?" you cried, "Where is my brother, what have you done to him?"

He said nothing, only putting your panties to the side and spitting on your clit. He rubbed slowly, and your body reacted slightly, as terrible as it sounds.

He placed himself inside you, and you screamed at his size. "Thats it, my little step sis" You frozed, how the fuck did that thing knew that?

You cried and he held your hair with one hand, pounding into you like you were just as inhuman as him. The pain started to feel like pleasure, somehow, maybe it was just your body protecting you. You never felt so terrified, ever, this was all unreal, this was an horror movie.

It wasn't a movie. It was your life.

"He is dead" He mumbled. "Bloodshed"

Your eyes grew wide. "What...What did you just..."

"Bloodshed. They are all dead."

[slyther-bi]

I'm back with my happy snape family au 😊

◇

5yr old Severus: Can we go out to get icecream?

Eileen: Did you ask your father?

Severus: He said no.

Eileen: Then why did you ask me?

Severus: He's not the boss of you.

Eileen, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

◇

Teen Severus: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce.

Tobias: What's wrong with you??

Severus: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention.

Eileen: No, he means other than that.

Severus: Ohhhhhh.

Severus: I haven't slept in 4 days.

◇

Teen Severus: *gets a text* Oh! It’s my parents.

Teen Lily, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff?

Severus: Yeah, they says they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood.

Lily: Wow! Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood?

Severus: You wanted fake blood?

Lily:

Severus: I’ll go call my parents.

◇

Tobias: Why would you give a knife to our 12 yr old son?!

Eileen, shrugging: He felt unsafe.

Tobias: Now I feel unsafe!

Eileen: I’m sorry…

Eileen: Would you like a knife?

◇

*The Snape Family using a Ouija board*

Tobias: Tell us… Is there a spirit in this house?

Spirit, through the board: YES.

Eileen: Great! Rent is due on the first of the month.

Severus: Oh, and movie night is on Friday if you want to hang out.

Spirit: WAIT, WHAT—

◇

Tobias: Okay, how do I look? Be honest.

Eileen: There’s no critic more honest than our 5yr old son!

5yr old Severus: Bad.

◇

Teen Severus: Mom, in your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

Eileen, turning to Tobias: How tall are you?

◇

Tobias, talking to an 11yr old Severus on his first day at Hogwarts: Well Severus, whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘would your mother do that?’ and if she would, I do not do that thing.

11yr old Severus: …

Eileen, from behind Tobias: He's not wrong though

◇

Tobias: What do we say when making bread?

10yr old Severus, glumly: That's the dough rising.

Tobias: And what do we NOT say?

Eileen, sadly: That's the yeast fucking.

◇

Eileen: I dropped our son!

Tobias: Eileen, what the fuck!

◇

Eileen: I told your father that his ears turn red when he lie.

Severus: Do they?

Eileen: No.

Severus: Then why did you tell him that?

Eileen: Because I can do this.

Eileen: Hey Tobias! Do you love us?

Tobias, with his hands over his ears: No.

[rottenpumpkin13]

It is Halloween soon! Zack throws a Halloween party on the 49th floor (can be big, can be small, however you'd like to write it) and has decided to use an ouija board. What chaos breaks out?

(Also i was bday anon, thank you so much, your posts are life 💞)

Zack's Halloween Party

• To cease the arguments over who gets to host the annual SOLDIER halloween party, Director Lazard comes up with an idea.

• He writes down each of his SOLDIERs' names on small slips of paper and places them in a huge bowl, then summons them all to an impromptu meeting.

Lazard: Whoever's name I pull out will be the designated party organizer. Does that sound fair?

Zack: YES! I WON! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO THROW A HALLOWEEN PARTY!

Lazard: No, Zack. I mean, does my selection process sound just?

• A chorus of agreements echo throughout the room.

Lazard: Good. And the winner is *he sticks his hand in the bowl, pulls out a name, then sighs* Fair.

Zack: Yes, Director! We agreed that it's a fair process!

Lazard: No. Zack Fair, you won.

Zack: YEEEESSSSSSS!!

• A chorus of no's and groans sweep the room.

Zack: Don't worry, guys! I'll do my very best! You'll see! This is gonna be the best Halloween party ever. *he interlocks his fingers evilly* and I have just the tool to make it fun...

• The day of the Halloween party arrives. To everyone's surprise, the party's rather ordinary. There's good music playing, Halloween decorations everywhere, flashing lights, fog and candy bowls stationed everywhere.

• Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal step off the elevator. Sephiroth is dressed like a grim reaper with Masamune fashioned as a scythe, Angeal is a zombie, and Genesis is a queen? king of hearts.

Angeal: Huh. Look at that. No one who knows Zack personally would've ever guessed he would be responsible enough to pull this off.

• Angeal snatches a candy bowl from Sephiroth's hands.

Genesis: I know, right? It almost makes you feel bad for underestimating him.

• Kunsel (dressed like robocop) and Roche (hippie) walk by carrying Skelesis Bonesodos.

Kunsel: Where are we hanging Skelesis?

Roche: Zack told us to hang him by the dancefloor.

Genesis: Son of a bitch.

• Angeal fails to notice Sephiroth nick an entire platter of spaghetti and meatball eyes from a passing server.

• Zack (dressed like a pirate) comes bouncing up to them

Zack: Arrg! Hey, guys! Sweet party, huh?

Angeal: Yeah, actually. I'm impressed. It's just a regular party without any crazy additives.

• Zack pulls out a Ouija board.

Zack: Or so you thought!

Genesis & Angeal: ZACK, NO.

Zack: Zack yes!

• Genesis snatches the ouija board away from him.

Genesis: I refuse to compliantly sit here and watch you damn us all by bothering the spirit realm. You have no idea how dangerous it is!

Angeal: Are you serious? Ghosts aren't real.

Zack & Genesis: Yes they are.

Angeal: No, they're not. And I'm not letting you mess around with anything paranormal. I don't want a repeat of last time.

• Collective flashback to the time Zack purchased an EVP recorder and refused to shower for a week because the ghost insinuated that it'd possess him in the bathroom.

Zack: Oh, please! That was ages ago. Besides, how cool would it be to have a real entity at my party!?

Genesis, sarcastically: So cool! One minute you're doing the Monster Mash and the next we're calling a priest!

Zack: I'm not gonna get possessed!

Angeal: You're not gonna summon anything! Ghosts and demons aren't real! Right, Sephiroth?

• Everyone turns to see Sephiroth working his way through another bowl of candy.

Angeal: Give me THAT!

Sephiroth, chewing: Honestly, it wouldn't hurt to try to use the ouija board.

Zack: Ha-ha! You rock, Seph! I knew you'd be on my side.

• Zack and Sephiroth high five.

Genesis: I give up. Summon the demon, damn us all to lifetime of paranormal prosecution. What do I care? It's not like anyone listens to me any—*he looks across the room*—HEY! KUNSEL! STOP PLAYING CATCH WITH SKELESIS BONESODOS! YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK HIS HIP!

• Zack leads the four of them to a vacant office room. They sit down in a circle on the floor and sets up the Ouija board in the middle of them.

Angeal: This is the stupidest thing I've ever done.

Sephiroth: Don't say that. I would argue that purchasing that questionable, over-priced plant from that man in the slums that turned out to be plastic was the stupidest thing you've ever done.

• They all place their fingers on the planchette and slide it around three times.

Genesis: We're going to die.

Zack: Shhh! Oh great spirits that reside in the Shinra HQ! Make yourselves known...please—pretty please? I really want a party ghost!

Sephiroth: Do you gentlemen think a person's soul can become trapped within the sword that kills them? I often hear Masamune whisper to me in the middle of the night.

Angeal: And you mention that NOW?

Genesis: Ho-ho! I thought you didn't believe in ghosts!

Angeal: I don't. I believe in Sephiroth inevitably succumbing to psychosis due to years of trauma.

Zack: Guys! Shhh! You're gonna distract the—

*The planchette moves on its own*

*Everyone screams*

Angeal: WHO DID THAT? WHICH ONE OF YOU MOVED IT?

Genesis: IT WASN'T ME!

Zack: IT WAS THE GHOST!

Sephiroth: Fascinating. Zack's Ouija board has proven to be a reliable tool for demonic communication.

Genesis: I wanna leave! I'm not playing with this stuff!

Angeal: You moved it, didn't you, Genesis? You wanted to scare me and be right about the paranormal.

Genesis: Shut up! I have my limits too, you know!

Zack: Guys! Shhh! Let me talk to it!

Zack: Dear Mr. Ghost..... Or should I say Mrs. Ghost? Ms. Ghost? Wait, what if the ghost is gender neutral?

Angeal: Ghosts aren't real!

*The planchette moves again, this time right on the letter G. Everyone screams and starts panicking*

Sephiroth: Is that real enough for you?

Genesis: It's spelling something out!

Angeal: Shut up! Look!

*The planchette continues to move until it spells out GET OUT*

Genesis: YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE!

*He gets up and runs out the door screaming. Zack and Angeal follow him, also screaming. They leave Sephiroth alone at the table, snickering with his fingers still on the planchette*

Sephiroth: Suckers.

*He pulls out a jumbo bag of Halloween candy and starts eating*

[ofstarsandvibranium]

My Sweetheart: Part 3

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: You purchase a vintage sweetheart bracelet from an antique store and with it, comes the spirit of the woman who owned it. Through her, you go on an interesting journey to find out what happened to her old lover.

Part 1 Part 2

Bucky brought you up to the compound where he and other Avengers stayed. You were immediately greeted to a girl, who looked to be in her teens, in a fighting stance.

Bucky shook his head, "Kamala, we're fine."

"You never know," she relaxed but watched you carefully, "So, what's your deal?"

"Um, well, I'm going to have Bucky talk to his deceased girlfriend via ouija board," you gesture to the board in your hand.

Kamala's eyes widen, "Okay, that's no where near to what I expected you to say," she gasps in excitement, "Can I watch?!"

"I guess."

"No," Bucky says firmly, "Go hang out with America or something."

Kamala groans, "Fine," with a pout she walks away with slumped shoulders.

You follow Bucky to the kitchen where he pulls out a beer, "I need a little something to help me get through this. You want one?" he holds a bottle out to you.

You shake your head, "I'm good, thanks. But I know the feeling. Trust me, this entire thing has been pretty...interesting."

Bucky grabs you a water bottle just in case and with his metal hand, he opens his beer bottle with ease. He then gestures for you to follow him to another pair of elevators. He presses R2 and the elevator moves one floor up.

You continue to silently follow him to the end of the hall where he opens the door to reveal his room. It's pretty bare. There's very little decor but he has a few knick knacks laying around.

"So, uh, do I need candles to set the mood or something?" he asks as he nervously scratches the back of his head and sips his beer. You can tell how uncomfortable this is for him.

"If you have any, great. If not, it's fine. Either way, I'm pretty sure she's here with us."

Right as you said that, the chair at Bucky's desk moves, scaring Bucky, "Holy fuck!"

You were used to Dot's antics, so seeing Bucky, an Avenger, get spooked was so amusing to you. You burst out laughing, clutching your stomach, "Oh my gosh that was funny! I didn't expect you to be scared!"

Bucky frowns, "It took me by surprise!" He plops onto his bed and grumpily sips his beer, "Can we get this over with?"

"Yeah, yeah, alright," you say after calming down. You clear your throat, and place the ouija board on his bed. You then pull out the planchette and set it in the middle. You slip the bracelet off your wrist and place it above the board. You then kneel at the edge of the bed and lightly place your fingers on the planchette, "So kneel beside me and lightly place your fingers beside mine."

Bucky does as he's told, "Good. Now, I'm going to lead the planchette to say "hello" to open the portal. After that, we can talk to Dot. She'll lead the planchette to the letters to spell out her responses."

"Yeah, alright," Bucky responds unenthusiastically.

"Alright. Let's do this."

_________________

On the other side of the veil, Dot watches you and Bucky at the board. When she followed you to his room, she was saddened to see how lifeless his room was. No pictures or warmth to it. It's clear that he's gone through a lot, maybe still going through a lot. She had hoped for a lot of different things pertaining to his fate, but she didn't expect this.

"Hello, Dot," you say as you move the planchette to 'Hello'.

Dot watches as you move the planchette back to the middle and give Bucky the go ahead.

He clears his throat, "Um, hi, Dot. Uh, how are you? Wait, no. That's a stupid question."

Dot chuckles to herself. Bucky's changed a lot, but she's glad to see her old Jamie coming through in bits and pieces.

"So, you wanted to see me, I hear. I just," he pauses to let out a sigh, "I'm sorry I didn't fulfill my promise. I-" he pauses and chuckles to himself, "I got caught up in a lot of bad stuff, and...I just hope you ended up living a happy life and that you didn't wait around for me for too long."

With her hand, she moves the planchette to each letter: H-A-P-P-Y-L-I-F-E.

Bucky nods, "Good. That's good. Hope the fella that you ended up with knew how lucky he was."

She moves the planchette to "YES".

"Good," Bucky clears his throat, "I guess, this is where we say good-bye? Because, Dot, you shouldn't stay here. You should be...somewhere else. With your husband, probably. There's nothing else for you here. I'm sure your kids and grandkids, if you have any, are taken care of. Move on. It's okay."

Dot had always been a stubborn woman. She's heard it from her parents, her siblings, hell, from Bucky! She thought after seeing him, she'd be ready to move on, but seeing the state he's in, she knew, there was one more thing for her to do: make sure Bucky's happy.

With determination, Dot moves the planchette to "No".

Your brows furrow, "No? What do you mean no? You're not ready to move on still?"

The planchette moves to "Yes."

You groan, "Aw come on! You said you'd move on after this! What changed?"

B-U-C-K-Y-H-A-P-P-Y-?

You look up at Bucky and he looks like a deer caught in headlights, "Um, is she asking if I'm happy?"

"I think so," you give a shrug.

Bucky clears his throat, "Um, well, I'm pretty content. You know, I'm a hero."

"That doesn't answer the question, Bucky."

"I'm not...depressed or anything. I just," he sighs, running a hand through his cropped hair, "I've accepted the life I've been given."

Dot frowns and shakes her head, moving the planchette to spell out: N-O-T-H-A-P-P-Y.

You snort, "I agree. That doesn't sound like you're happy at all."

"Okay. So, what? Dot, are you just going to continue to stay here until I'm happy?"

YES.

"Well shit."

You groan, "So looks like you might be stuck with me for a bit longer."

YES.

"Great. Thanks, Dot," you grumble and move the planchette to GOODBYE, closing the portal between the physical and spirit world.

You sit back as Bucky chugs the rest of his beer down. When he finishes, he let's out a sigh, "I'm gonna need a few more of these," he wiggles the bottle and stands.

You grab the board and planchette, stuffing it into your tote bag and slip the bracelet back on. You're following Bucky towards the elevators. You enter behind him in silence and when the doors close, you ask, "Now what?"

"You can leave," he says plainly.

"What? Why?"

"There's nothing else for you here."

"Dot won't cross over until she knows you're happy and judging from this entire interaction, it's clear you're not really happy."

"I'm content."

"That's not the same!"

"Listen," Bucky looks at you with a stern look, "I've gone decades of doing what I was told to do without any say in it. I'm tired of people telling me what I can and can't do. I'm under no one's control but my own. I'm sorry, but looks like you're going to have to get used to your ghost roommate."

When the elevator door opens, Bucky's the first one out and he points to the other set of elevators that leads to the lobby, "You know your way out."

With clenched fists, you go to the other set of elevators and punch the down button. You mumble to yourself, "Dick," as the doors open and you enter it.

When the doors close, you run a hand down your face, "Well that went well. Guess we're stuck with each other, Dot."

[babiebom]

So, I was thinking and would like to make a small request, how about Harvey x medium!reader?I just want to know what that would be like 🫂

(Sorry if the English is bad 😔)

A/N: I used to watch this show about a medium and for some reason I thought it was one of those ghost show where they’re ghost hunters and then I found out it was like a fake show (scripted actors ykwim) and my whole world came crashing down.

Tw:talks about death, maybe some cursing

Bc: at least 10

Stardew Valley Masterlist

Avoiding ghost in Pelican Town was harder than you thought it would be

Having the town cemetery in the middle of town instead of in some far away corner meant that when you walked through town you had to keep your eyes ahead of you

It wasn’t hard to know if what you were seeing was a ghost or not

Only a couple of people lived in Pelican Town which meant it was easy to ignore someone that you knew wasn’t one of the handful of people currently living there.

When you had first moved in it was difficult, seeing the dead and not realizing that they were in fact dead and not some random villager

But now more than two years of staying in the town there was no way to make that mistake anymore.

Well there wasn’t anyway until a new family (a dad and his daughter) moved in

You had ignored them both and walked past them into Pierre’s because no one had told you that there were new people arriving

And they complained to Gus who was confused because the FARMER? Being RUDE? NEVER

He in turn asked Harvey what was going on because he happens to be the town doctor and also happens to be your boyfriend

Harvey is SUPER CONFUSED because HUH what do you mean they’re being rude let me check on them.

And when he comes to talk to you you’re just like……they’re REAL, LIVE people?????

And he’s like WTF do you mean real live people of course they are

And you have to play it off like you’ve been feeling off for a couple of days

But him being a doctor, that just makes him suspicious because you’ve never acted weird in the last couple of days, nor have you said anything about being off.

The way he cares about you is insane like

He will find out what’s going on he needs to make sure nothing bad is happening.

He is the nosy significant other that almost gets you caught if someone is blackmailing you or something.

He wears you down until you confess exactly what’s going on

And by wears you down I mean he looks at you with those big ass hazel eyes and you immediately break down and tell him.

He doesn’t believe you at least not at first and is like “haha babe are you sure you’re okay?”

So you take him out to the graveyard at 3 am.

You set up some candles and an ouija board in the middle of all the gravestones.

He still doesn’t believe you and is HELLA afraid like dude doesn’t like this AT ALL.

Unlike with witches Harvey is TERRIFIED of ghosts even if he doesn’t think they’re real (they are you see your grandpa sometimes when he visits)

At some point things pop off with the ghosts and thankfully before everything goes wrong you close all communication and connections to the other side.

He thinks it’s cool but would prefer to NOT have ghosts in y’all’s house.

[ae-azile]

Progression, Chapter 21: Preview

“Would you like me to call Pete?” 

“No!” Tankhun says, feeling a buzzing, hurt rage in his head as he updates his Instagram feed. Again. Still no pictures or announcements.

“Why haven't they posted anything?!” he says, tossing his phone to the side, “Pete just posted the kittens yesterday! Vegas posted a story of Pete helping him cook breakfast with a heart as the caption this morning! Where’s the baby? Vegas was NOT holding some doll in the cemetery, and he referred to Pete as Papa!” 

“Maybe they adopted her and it isn't finalized yet,” Arm says gently, “Or maybe they are fostering her and can't post pictures. We don't know the situation, which is why I am offering to call and ask Pete for clarification. We talk to him pretty regularly, and I don't see him keeping this from us unless he had a reason.” 

“The reason is Vegas,” Tankhun mutters, “He probably told Pete to not tell us. He's rude like that.” 

Arm lets out a sigh and takes his hand, “Tankhun. You have been worried sick about Vegas the last few nights-” 

“Lies!” 

“You said you thought Douglas hurt him too, and then you have been blaming yourself ever since,” Arm continues, “Why don't you…talk to him?”

Tankhun stares at his deranged boyfriend incredulously, “Absolutely not.” 

“You said you used to babysit him a lot,” Arm says quietly, “And when you made a mad dash out of the safe room to get to me during the attack-” 

“To save you, which I did!” 

“You crossed paths with him, and he left you alone,” Arm says, “And when we found out about him getting shot, you broke down and cried.” 

“Hmph!” Tankhun says, because it is much more preferable than admitting Arm is telling the truth. 

“He's been the main thing keeping you from actually hanging out with Pete in person, but he never stopped it from happening the few times it has occurred,” Arm says, now massaging his hand, “He seems to be very content out of the business as well, and you just found out you, Kinn, and Kim may share an abuser with him-” 

“We don't know if that's true,” Tankhun says, feeling his voice grow hoarse, “He may have just had to pee.”

Arm breathes out, “...And he just so happened to drive out of his way to a cemetery to pee on the freshly dug grave of a man associated with your family?” 

“...Fine. That is far-fetched,” Tankhun says, “Maybe it was a witchcraft ritual, and that is why he was so okay with us holding a fake seancé. Vegas had a fixation on witchcraft when he was eight! I still think he likes the aesthetic, to be honest, but when he was little? He and I would be dark witches, and Kim would be a nice witch. That's all he would play for a while. Uncle Gun hated it, but Auntie Milan thought it was funny, especially when Vegas made a Ouija Board and we insulted our stupid, dead grandfather through it because we both hated him-” 

“Tankhun,” Arm cuts in, “You're doing it again.” 

Tankhun tilts his head at that, “What do you mean?” 

“Talking about your cousin with fondness.” 

“I did no such thing!” Tankhun says with a gasp. 

“Lies,” Arm says simply, and that is true, but still! 

“Will you be okay with never knowing for sure if Douglas hurt him?” Arm asks, “Because I would understand if that is the case. There is a lot of bad blood, and the feud your father had with your uncle strained things between you and your cousins. If you want to keep your distance, I will support you. But I thought…I don't know. We have been together long enough-” 

“Two years in a little over a month,” Tankhun reminds him. 

“It's coming up very soon,” Arm says, a small smile forming on his lips, “You have opened up to me a lot during that time. More than you ever did when I was just your friend and your guard. So I know enough to know that at one point, you really cared about Vegas. Loved him, even. And when we found out about Namphueng, you told me you wondered if we had fought for the right side.” 

Tankhun looks away at that, “...I felt that way because Pa faked his death, let us mourn him, and got people killed. And because Kinn told me Pa kept Namphueng locked in a room and away from her sons. I also felt that way because he told me Uncle Gun saw her and cried, which wasn't like him. Uncle Gun wasn't good either. He became despicable too. But he wasn't evil enough to lock a woman up in a room and keep her from her family for years, let alone medicate her with...whatever she was being given."

Arm says nothing, and Tankhun understands. No answer Arm can give will be a good one. If he defends Pa, it undermines everything horrible he did, and how many lives were ruined or ended because of him. If he sides with Uncle Gun and Vegas, then it would ignore the fact that several of his coworkers died by their hands.

But there is no denying Pa is the one who set it in motion, regardless of what happened to any of them. He and Kinn were just expected to fight for their lives until Pa thought it was appropriate to make himself known, and they just went along with it because that was all they knew. 

And when he thinks about it that way, he supposes Vegas was in a similar situation and trying to meet his own father’s horrible expectations, that he was groomed by him, just like Pa tried his best to groom his own sons, albeit in a different way. 

Just like he might have been groomed by Douglas like Kinn was. 

Just like Vegas may have been threatened or hurt by Douglas like he and Kim were. 

“Ugh, I'm mad at you!” Tankhun says, jumping to his feet to glare down at Arm, “I don't want to talk to you for the entire night!” 

Arm’s entire face drops, “Khun-” 

“The entire night! You can sleep on the couch!” Tankhun reiterates, then storms off to his room and slams the door behind him. He shuts his eyes and tries to stick to his resolve. How dare Arm make him overthink their strained family ties? He is supposed to be on his side! Also, it makes no sense for Arm to encourage him to reach out, even if Vegas had been hurt. Vegas hurt and killed several of their guards. They may not have been guards Arm was close with, but they were allies and their lives meant something. 

Even though Pa clearly felt differently, since he triggered the whole attack purposely. 

Arm is so annoying! If he weren’t so smart, compassionate, gorgeous, and incredible, Tankhun would be DONE. 

Although, Tankhun supposes he has made mistakes of his own in the past. Arm has just taken them in stride, or sometimes worked with him on the occasions Tankhun expressed he would like to change the way he reacts to certain triggers. 

But that doesn't make him less annoying! Arm is supposed to be aligned with HIM, with Pol coming in second because Arm loves Pol as a brother and Tankhun loves Pol too. 

Just like they love Pete. And Pete is with Vegas, which makes that relationship strained because their relationship with Vegas is strained. And now, Pete and Vegas have a baby, and Pete hasn't said a word. That's probably because a baby binds him and Vegas together forever, and that means Pete will never leave Vegas. 

Especially if Vegas actually treats him well and truly makes Pete happy. 

Ew! 

“What are you still doing on the couch?” Tankhun asks sullenly as soon as he opens the door again. 

Arm meets his eyes and lets out a sigh, “I did pace for a little while and hover my fist over the door. But I wanted to give you space if you needed it.” 

“No,” Tankhun says, lightly stomping his foot, “I want you in here.” 

“Ah,” Arm says, standing up, “I must have misunderstood.” 

Tankhun nods once in agreement, then leads Arm to his bed so they can both sit down. 

Their bed. Arm stays here more than enough for this to be their bed. 

“I can understand your concerning willingness to make up with Vegas,” Tankhun says, “You just found out one of your best friends is raising a baby with him. Of course you would like to extend an olive branch. Of course you would like to hang out with Pete in person a lot more. I get it, because…because I want those things too. It's just hard.” 

“I know.” 

“And…” Tankhun continues, swallowing the sudden lump in his throat, “The thought of getting Vegas’s confirmation that Douglas hurt him upsets me. I used to babysit him when he was younger. I used to adore him, and I know there is no point in denying that. So if he admits Douglas hurt him too, that means I failed him as well, and I don't know if I can handle that.” 

Arm puts his hand on his back and rubs it, “Would you be able to handle never getting a confirmation, always wondering, and just continuing to have weekly FaceTime chats with Pete? Or is that preferred over finding out what Vegas went through and possibly...mending things? I don't know if that's possible, but it might be a step in the right direction if the issue is thought out and approached in the right way.” 

Tankhun thinks on it, then breathes out, “I think it should be Kinn who reaches out. That would be the best way to go about this.” 

Arm looks slightly startled by that, “But he hates Kinn the most-” 

“But Kinn was also hurt by Douglas the most,” Tankhun interrupts, “And if Douglas actually managed to hurt Vegas, he may be bitter over the fact that Kim and I fought back and managed to get out of whatever Douglas planned to do to us. And if he got away from Douglas like we did, I…As much as he resents Kinn, I can't see him being happy about a fourteen year boy being sexually assaulted. I can't even see him being happy that Kinn went through something like that, because at one point, he loved Kinn.”

“...Do you think Kinn would be willing to admit that to him?” Arm asks. 

“I don't know,” Tankhun groans, “Probably not. But Porsche is in contact with Pete and Vegas and visits them. Maybe he can help set up and facilitate a conversation like that. I just…Fuck, Arm! You are SO annoying!” 

“You have said that before,” Arm acknowledges as Tankhun pulls out his phone. He sets up a group chat with Kinn, Porsche, and Kim before adding Chay at the last minute. Chay games with Macau and talks with him. Maybe that connection could provide a backup plan that Tankhun doesn't fully have formed in his head yet. 

But regardless…

Tankhun: I need to have an important meeting with the four of you. Kim, Chay, I know you two have been working on music all day, but please take a short break. I hope we can come to a decision about this and move forward with my plan within the next couple of days.

Kim: What is this about? 

Porsche: It sounds serious. There are no emojis. 

Tankhun: 🎾🐁🌬️🎫📟🖨️🩻

Kim: You never even use any of those. 

Tankhun: That's because I need to have a serious conversation with all of you. Come here. Now. Kinn, you too. 

Kinn: Is everything okay? 

Chay: What do you want to talk about? 

Tankhun takes a moment, then types one word. 

Tankhun: Vegas.

Tankhun: 🎰

[frozenjokes]

Signing Back In, Apparently- 6

Prev/Next

*suggestive*

Everything was fine, fun even, until Oli started talking. Mumbo had settled behind Scar, content to watch everyone else distracting and making fun of him. It was surreal after all, for the Kestrels to be holding an event like this. To try and get Scar to admit his ghosts were real. They had no idea. Well, everyone but Oli at least. Apparently, Oli had quite a detailed idea.

“Now I know you tell me whenever you see me to mind the noise, or don’t think too hard about, or whatever, but gosh Scar, you are so loud in that room of yours! And I get it, everyone talks to themself from time to time, so I wouldn’t have said anything if I hadn’t heard who you were talking to! I mean, you even call them by names! The night you had your, for lack of a better word, seizure, you were talking to a Grian! And then there was another night where you were talking to someone else! I heard his voice!”

“Oli,” Scar spoke through gritted teeth, words almost like a growl, “Oli, shut up.” Mumbo tensed, backing away. Grian stopped what he was doing immediately, straightening up in alarm. Impulse raised his head in a confused gesture, but Pearl didn’t seem to notice.

“I thought you just had another pirate over for the night, you know, but I didn’t recognize his-”

Pearl sat up immediately, noticing Mumbo’s and Grian’s mortified looks for the first time, “Another.. What’s he talking about? Grian?”

Scar leapt from his chair, passing directly through Pearl to grab Oli by the wrist, “I told you to-” Pearl yelped in surprise, floating up to avoid the fray. But no one answered her.

“Guys? Who else was talking with Scar?” she asked again, her tone gaining a sharper edge, “Was this with the ouija board?” Pearl’s gaze turned to Mumbo. He nearly tripped over himself trying to avoid her eyes. “Mumbo? Why didn’t you say anything?” A look of hurt flashed across her face, and Mumbo heard Scar gasp as Martyn pulled him off Oli.

Grian floated between them, trying to block Pearl’s view from Mumbo, “He told me. Don’t get angry, it’s more complicated than I can explain quickly right now. Impulse doesn’t know either.”

“Well- okay-” Pearl looked very much like she was struggling with this idea, “But if Mumbo used the ouija board with Scar.. I.. What did Oli mean by ‘had someone over for the night,’ did something happen? Mumbo, did you get a chance to attack or fight or- I don’t understand.”

“Well he did almost kill Scar!”

“No! Nothing happened!” Grian and Mumbo spoke at the same time, giving each other startled looks.

“Guys!” Pearl’s voice raised an octave, looking between them rapidly.

“Pearl, it’s okay, just give them a chance,” Impulse drifted behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder. But it was clear he was also quite confused.

“I think I’m just going to excuse myself here,” Mumbo waved a hand and turned away.

“Okay, so, you guys know dementors right? From Harry Potter? Like how when they kiss you, you d-” Grian tried his best, but he did not get to finish.

“WHAT?” At the same time Pearl yelled, Scar cried out in pain, clutching his stomach. He started to say something else, but none of the ghosts were listening. The cracks in Mumbo’s own form were starting to splinter. “Mumbo! I’m going to need an explanation please!”

“He didn’t intend to kiss Scar-”

“Grian! Stop trying to protect him.”

“Well stop attacking! I told you it was complicated!”

“Pearl, you need to calm down. We are going to figure this out,” Impulse strode past her, standing beside Grian, but she pushed through both of them, making a beeline straight for Mumbo.

“I want to hear it from you,” she said, voice terrifyingly even. There was no escape. Backed into a corner, his fear shifted into hot anger.

“ Fine,” Mumbo spat, “I got Scar to use the ouija board with me. I had questions. I still have them. It didn’t work the way we expected it to, and we kissed. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Mumbo- that's not-” Grian tried to cut in, but neither of them were listening now.

“Why? ” Pearl hissed, eyes wide and shocked.

“I don’t know! Maybe I just wanted to! Sit on that! You’re so obsessed with hurting him, you haven’t even considered that not all of us care! I’m not interested in sitting around and being miserable, just to try and make Scar feel the same way.”

“What do you mean you don’t care? Scar murdered us with a goddamn smile on his face! He’s still hurting us. Since when do you care more about Scar’s wellbeing than ours?”

“I didn’t say that! I don’t care about him any more than you do. Maybe I just want to know why he did what he did- Grian cares about that too! Is that a crime? And you know what, maybe I’m just trying to find out. Or maybe I’m just being selfish! God fucking forbid I do something for myself.”

“Grian didn’t kiss Scar. Grian is still fighting him, just like the rest of us! Have you already forgotten what Scar did to him just a couple days ago?”

“Guys, please don’t-” Grian tried to get between them, followed closely by Impulse. But the words were already on Mumbo’s tongue.

“Well, maybe , Grian provoked Scar first.” The regret hit Mumbo instantly, making him stumble back. Grian’s eyes burned through his, shocked and hurt, but before he could open his mouth to apologize, Pearl was on him.

“How dare you ,” she snarled, closing the distance, “No wonder you abandoned ship to see Scar when Grian needed us. All of us. ‘Finding out what happened’ right? What, was that just a prime opportunity to make out with Scar while we were all distracted?”

“That is not what happened-”

“I don’t believe you!”

“Pearl! Mumbo! Stop it. Both of you. Look what’s happening to your bodies- we don’t want a repeat of this,” Impulse shoved himself between them, pushing them apart with his hands. The sudden separation shocked Mumbo into listening. He looked at his hands. It wasn’t just the cracks splintering apart his form; the lines that separated his body from the air shifted too. He looked up to see Pearl, whose own body was fluctuating and unstable. She met his eyes.

“Get out of here.”

Mumbo didn’t have to be told twice. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Grian, so he looked at the rest of the dining hall as he left. It was empty. Mumbo closed his eyes. Well, there was one person who could tell him what he missed. At this point, he had nothing left to lose.

On his way to Scar’s room, he ran into the Kestrels in the tavern. Well, the Kestrels and Scott. Based on the way they were speaking in whispers, he had a feeling Scar was upstairs. He lingered just long enough to hear them speaking about ghosts, and more specifically, how to get rid of them. Mumbo wasn’t keen to stick around.

Scar wasn’t doing well. Mumbo heard his strangled whines from outside, which Scar was usually relatively good at hiding. Inside, he was laying face down on top of his sheets with his shirt off, retching into his pillow. Christ. Surely even Pearl wouldn’t take joy in watching this.

Scar never looked up, so Mumbo went to him, waving a hand gently in front of his face. It took a couple seconds for Scar to even notice. Scar’s face was red and splotchy, slick with sweat, as was the rest of his body.

“Come on,” Mumbo said, knowing full well Scar wouldn’t hear him, but he got the message loud and clear when Mumbo pointed across the room. With uncoordinated limbs, Scar pulled himself out of bed and to the floor, where the ouija board still lay. Mumbo sat across from him. They didn’t speak as Mumbo laid his hands across Scar’s, the only sound being Scar’s shaky sigh of relief. Mumbo let Scar’s warmth wash over him.

“You know, Impulse doesn’t usually get this upset. Never had it that bad before,” Scar drew a hand to his throat before quickly putting it back on the planchette, “Well, besides that, would you believe me if I told you it wasn’t that bad?”

“No. Absolutely not.”

Scar laughed, falling forward into Mumbo’s shoulder. His brain short circuited a bit, but he decided not to think too hard about it. The warmth was all that mattered.

“You’re fuckin bony. Did you know that?”

“You’re sweaty and gross. Did you know that?”

“Don’t be mean.”

Mumbo laughed, not that Scar heard, but he would feel the soft bounce of his shoulders. It was all too nice. A wave of bitterness coursed through him, that Scar would never have allowed himself something like this when the crew of The Flying Jellie lived. They could have had this. No complications. Mumbo squeezed Scar’s hand to get his attention.

“Mmm?” Apparently, that counted as a question.

“I need something from you, if you’re not too tired.”

“Right now, I’d do anything you ask. Whatcha need?”

“A distraction. A kiss. Anything to forget about today for a while.”

“Why, Mumbo Jumbo, I would be delighted to indulge you,” Scar smiled into his shoulder, moving ever so slightly to his neck. Mumbo tilted his head, closing his eyes. It felt so good to breathe. For it to hurt when Scar nipped at his skin, then kiss it all better. To not think for a while.

Scar moved a hand to the back of Mumbo’s head, brushing his hair with delicate fingers. It was so amusing for Scar, being who he was, to be so gentle. Mumbo ran a curious hand down Scar’s chest, absently considering his many scars and curves. He wondered about his own marks scattered along Scar’s back, moving to trace the rougher patches of skin with grim satisfaction.

“You really made a mess of me back there,” Scar mumbled, turning his gaze to Mumbo’s lips.

“Good.” Scar didn’t hear him, but he understood, responding with a grin. God, Mumbo hated that smile. He grabbed at the side of Scar’s face, pulling him up into a kiss. A rush of anger fueled his passion, a messy impulse to never see that grin again. He clawed at Scar’s cheek and grabbed at his hair; anything he could think that might wipe it away, but the telling curve of Scar’s lips never faded. Honestly, it was starting to make him more difficult to kiss.

“Didn’t take you as the aggressive type! Bad day?” Scar snickered on Mumbo’s lips as he took a moment to breathe.

“Shut up.”

“What did I do to piss you off so bad-” Scar yelped as Mumbo tugged on his hair, catching himself with an arm. Mumbo took the opportunity to push him back further, climbing on top.

“You’re going to have to move the board, Scar.”

“Gladly.”

[underworld-park-offical]

TOLKIEN: Can you believe this shit, Jimmy?

JIMMY: H-h-h-hey

JIMMY: D-d-d-d-don't d-d-d-diss s-s-someone w-w-w-with b-b-b-big d-d-d-dreams 

JIMMY: N-n-n-not cool

TOLKIEN: I will if said dreams are ridiculous and stupid

TOLKIEN: Like being a jackass influencer

STAN: Can we shut up about Craig being a Dollar Store Addison Rae, please?

STAN: I'm getting a migraine listening to this idiotic babbling about how many likes he has

STAN: Just stop, he already does it enough

KYLE: Didn't you start bullying him though?

KYLE: Because it was funny?

STAN: Well it's not now sooooo…. shut up

CLYDE: WHO WAS MOVING THE POINTER THINGIE ON THE BOARD PLEASE CONFESS I WILL CRY

KENNY: I thought you were “manly”

CARTMAN: Woah Kenny, it is 2023 and you’re still throwing around male stereotypes?

CARTMAN: You’re getting C A N C E L E D 

CARTMAN: GUYS KENNY DOESN’T THINK MEN SHOULD CRY

KENNY: HE LITERALLY SAID HE HAD BIG MAN HANDS

KENNY: HE ADMITTED TO GOING TO HOME DEPOT????

KENNY: WHAT AM I BEING CANCELED FOR TELLING THE TRUTH?????

CRAIG: Wow, Kenny, and I thought we were friends, Smh my head

KENNY: WHAT????????

TOLKIEN: Can you move things, Mr. Spirit, sir?

CRAIG: That was so  gay of you

CARTMAN: Why would you assume it was a man???

TOLKIEN: Why would you assume, it's an it?

CARTMAN: ….

TOLKIEN: Exactly

CRAIG: Preach 

CLYDE: IT'S MOVING IT'S MOVING IT'S MOVING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

KENNY: CLYDE SHUT UP!!! AND STOP MOVING, I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING BEHIND YOUR FAT HEAD

CLYDE: I'M GONNA CRYYYYY

KENNY: GOOD

KYLE: S….u…..r……e

CRAIG: Sure?

CRAIG: So the ghost wants to be basic?

CRAIG: Lmao based

STAN: Oh my god shut up

STAN: Please.

TOLKIEN: It could have just used the yes, why would it go through so much effort to give an answer?

CLYDE: Maybe they want to be best friends and are worried about messing things up or being impolite?

CRAIG: That's so based of them, frfr, lol

STAN: A ghost wanting to befriend a bunch of high, lowlife teenagers?

STAN: Yeah, I'm not buying it

CLYDE: F….u….

CLYDE: AWHHH

JIMMY: N-n-n-n-nice g-going st-st-stan, you r-r-ruined our ch-chances of be-be-bef-f-friending C-Casper, a-asshole

STAN: There is no way you actually believe this, right?

STAN: We are all in a simulation

STAN: None of this is real

STAN: We are all in a coma because the government wants to control us

STAN: Trying to make us all boy kissing gays

STAN: But not me, no

STAN: I'm smarter than all of you, so I know I can't be controlled

STAN: This Ouija board is the way for the government to mind control us

STAN: Do not be deceived.

TOLKIEN: Shut up Stan, quit talking out of your ass

STAN: Ass….A…S…S……Actual…..Super…..Sexual…..Sexual as in….Homosexual….

STAN: YOU'RE A GOVERNMENT SPY!

KYLE: Ignore him, Tolkien

TOLKIEN: Have been.

STAN: YOU’RE ALL CONSPIRING AGAINST ME!

CRAIG: Lmao holy shit I need to record this

STAN: YOU'RE ALL JUST MAD BECAUSE I KNOW THE TRUTH!!! YOU ALL ARE BRAINWASHED!!!!

CRAIG: Stan…. bffr… smile for the camera

STAN: NO!!! THOSE CAMERAS PUT MICROCHIPS IN YOUR HAND LIKE THEY HAVE THE VACCINES

CRAIG: Is he /j or /srs rn?

KYLE: He's serious, unfortunately

KYLE: Let's just move on before I get an aneurysm

KENNY: Good idea

KYLE: Is…. anything moving?

TOLKEIN: Oh I don't know, Kyle, can a blind person see?

KYLE: ….

TOLKIEN: No, exactly

CLYDE: IT'S SO DARK IN HERE I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK!!!

TOLKIEN: No, Porkchop, you aren’t

CLYDE: I AM NOW!!

STAN: Everything is all so dark

STAN: It's what they want

KYLE: It's what who wants? STAN: Aliens…. they want to steal our sun…

CRAIG: Haha lmao imagine believing in aliens, couldn’t be me

JIMMY: Wh-wh-wh-what's that n-n-noise?

JIMMY: C-C–C–C–C-C-Craig…. Is th-the ac on?

CLYDE: TURN THE AC OFF YOU MONSTER!!

CLYDE: LEAVE US BE!!

CLYDE: WE WANTED TO BE FRIENDS BEFORE YOU TOLD US TO GO FUCK OURSELVES!

CLYDE: BUT NAY! NAY WE SAY! CLYDE: WE, THE HUMAN COUNCIL

TOLKIEN:...... What-

CLYDE: SAY GO FUCK YOURSELF

CLYDE: GOOD DAY SIR OR MA’AM CARTMAN: OR MX!

CLYDE: OR MIXTAPE

CRAIG: Lmao okay slay, ate, ate and left no crumbs. Not a single crumb inside, bro ate the plate too frfr

(EDITS MADE BY @Pissblanket)

[wouldntyou-liketoknow]

My EgoPats Meeting the Canon EgoPats (Brought To You by Incorrect Quotes)

Yep, I finally decided that this post deserved to be expanded on. So, to absolutely no-one's surprise, I gave it the ol' college try with memes.

___

[Caliban has just returned from visiting Theory Manor. He’s now ranting to Murdock about WarfPat]

Caliban: Listen to what one of my STUPID doppelgängers did! Caliban: Apparently one of his “guests” ended up dying in his studio, and he offered the body to me. And since we’ve been in-between jobs lately, I was like, “Sure, why not?” Caliban: So, I cooked the best parts, then I went to town. . .and every two minutes, he added salt. Caliban: And it was weird. It almost tasted like sweet potato. Caliban: I asked, “Did this guy eat a lot of candy before he died? Or was he on drugs?” Caliban: And Warf said, “Noooo.” Caliban: Every two minutes, he added salt, salt, sALT, SALT! It was like he wanted to poison me! Caliban: And when I finished eating, he asked, “How did you like the human flesh wiTH SUGAR?” Caliban: . . .HE USED SUGAR INSTEAD OF SALT! Caliban: *starts shaking Murdock by the lapels of his overcoat* SUGAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!

___

[The EgoPats are using an Ouija board] The Detective: Tell us. . .is there an otherworldly creature in this house or on its grounds? LevianthanPat: *is right outside the nearest window, but has decided to use his powers to speak through the board before he actually starts talking* ¥ê§. MadPat: Great! Rent is due on the first of the month. WarfPat: Oh, and movie night is on Friday if you want to hang out. LeviathanPat: *genuinely caught off-guard* . . .Wåï†, WHĆ—?!

___

Mack: So, for that party I told the guys about. . .do you, uh. . . Patty/DancePat: Oh, are you not sure how to dress for it? Mack: *panicked* WHAT IS CLOTHES???

___

The Detective: If I have to clean one more bloodstain from this carpet, I’m going to murder someone. Caliban: Sounds a little counterproductive.

___

WarfPat: Hey, new guy! Trick or ye— LeviathanPat: *conjures an Uno Reserve card* ñÖ

___

The Detective: I'm not doing too well. Penn/Pennsylvania: What's wrong? The Detective: I have this headache that comes and goes. [LeviathanPat manifests outside the nearest window] The Detective: And there it is again.

___

The Hermit: What is toothpaste if not bone soap? Caliban: . . .You are a complete and total treasure. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: We call that a traumatic experience. Penn/Pennsylvania: *turning to The Detective* Not a “bruh moment” Penn/Pennsylvania: *turning to The Hermit* Not “sadge” Pennsylvania: *turning to MadPat* And DEFINITELY not “oof lmao”

___

Mack: *scoffs* Clearly, you don’t own an air fryer. Clearly. Caliban: *chuckles dryly* I’m not gonna be talked down to by some arrogant, condescending, delusions-of-grandeur-prone SIDE-DISH. Caliban: If you want to insult me, go right ahead. But you have no idea how brutal that’s gonna get. You don’t even know my name! Caliban: *steps closer to Mack, almost getting in his face* I ' m t h e c o m b i n a t i o n o f y o u a n d a c r a z y i s l a n d h e r m i t f r o m a d i f f e r e n t t i m e l i n e .

___

The Detective: Define “dream”. LeviathanPat: Ðrêåm—†hê £ïr§† †hïñg þêðþlê åßåñÐðñ whêñ †hê¥ lêårñ hðw †hê wðrlÐ wðrk§. The Hermit: Oh, c’mon! That’s just too dark!

___

Ness: Do you support LGBTQIA+ rights? Patty/DancePat: . . .I’m literally a girlypop and exotic dancer?? WarfPat: He’s avoiding the question!

___

MadPat: Gatekeep, girlboss, and. . .what's the other one again? LeviathanPat: †hêrê ï§ñ'† åñð†hêr ðñê. ¥ðµ'rê ¢råz¥.

___

Caliban: He doesn’t deserve you! If he doesn’t treat you right by now, you’re gone! Ness: *taking a deep breath* I’m gone. Caliban: *nodding and grinning* Now gO CHOP HIS DICK OFF—

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: I can’t tell if you’re a genius or just incredibly arrogant. Mack: Well, on a good day, I’m both.

___

[The EgoPats are discussing a plan. Ozzie has taken his turn to speak, standing with a whiteboard at the head of the room] Ozzie: Anyone have any questions? Ness: Is this legal? Ozzie: . . .Anyone have any relevant questions?

___

The Detective: Are you seriously making human-bacon for breakfast?! Caliban: *looking away from the bacon-filled frying pan he’s using* Yeah. What’d you have for breakfast? The Detective: . . .Nothing. Caliban: *shrugs, returning his focus to the frying pan* I’m doing better than you, man.

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: What’s up with you? Mack: What do you mean? Penn/Pennsylvania: You’ve been nice and helpful and considerate all day. What’s your game?

___

[The Detective recently griped to Caliban about a recent case. Now Caliban is trying to convince The Detective to do something highly unconventional to make progress with said case.l]

Caliban: DO IT! The Detective: NOOOOO! GOD, PLEASE NO! Caliban: MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! The Detective: NO! Caliban: JUST— The Detective: NO! Caliban: — D O I T ! The Detective: N O O O O O O O ! ! !

___

Patty/DancePat: I can't believe you've done this. . . Ness: I'm sorry, I didn't know—! Patty/DancePat: *on the verge of tears* YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE WHEN I HAVE NOTHING PREPARED FOR YOU IN RETURN! NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE JERK!

___

The Hermit: Onion rings are vegetable donuts. Mack: Sure. . . The Hermit: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed. Mack: Okay? The Hermit: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake. Mack: . . . The Hermit: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio— Mack: Jesus, that one is a little— Caliban: *was just passing through but is now interested* No, no. Let him continue

___

[A plan involving paranormal investigation has gone terribly wrong, and The Detective is almost out of options]

The Detective: *begrudgingly holding a dark ritual* If you are here, speak to us! LeviathanPat: *slowly manifests outside the window. . .and starts singing “Don’t Stop Believin’.” With each lyric, his voice shifts in a very disturbing way* JÚ§† Ä Ç̆-Ä¥ ßÖ¥! The Detective: *grinds his jaw, having even more regrets than before* LeviathanPat: ßÖRñ ÄñÐ RÄ̧ÈÐ Ìñ §ÖÚ†H—!

___

WarfPat: What kinds of sounds annoy you? Ozzie: Are we talkin’ real sounds or imaginary ones? WarfPat: *now interested* Lets say imaginary. Ozzie: Spiders wearin’ flip flops.

___

[MadPat is trying to talk killer-to-killer with Caliban. So far, he’s only succeeded in annoying Caliban]

MadPat: Every time I go out there, I feel like I do my best and they don’t! Caliban: *has heard all about how sloppy Mad’s methods are, how much evidence Mad always seems to leave behind, as well as how Mad trapped himself in a fire only to get caught by the police* Let me ask you a very fair question—What do you do successfully? MadPat: . . . Caliban: *raising an eyebrow* QUICKLY. MadPat: *scowls and storms off*

___

The Detective: You need a hobby. LeviathanPat: Ì ålrêåÐ¥ håvê å hðßߥ! The Detective: Terrorizing people is nOT A HOBBY!

___

Ness: Ducks are better than rabbits. Penn/Pennsylvania: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks. WarfPat: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey. Ness: We’re not talking about flavor, Warf! WarfPat: Flavor counts! The Detective: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone? Mack: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers. Who’s cozier? Penn/Pennsylvania: Okay, but— Mack: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER? MadPat: Why don’t we just take a rabbit and a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out? Penn/Pennsylvania: BECAUSE THAT’S ILLEGAL! MadPat: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT! Caliban: *sitting in the adjacent room, listening in on the debate. He’s not sure if Snare could get roped into it, because Snare is a hare and not a rabbit, but he’s still holding him protectively* . . .

___

Ness: *calling up the stairs from the kitchen* I made lightly-fried fish fillets for dinner! The Detective: . . .Ness, it’s one-fifteen AM. What the hell? Ness: Do you guys want the lightly-fried fish fillets or not? Ozzie: *pokes his head out of one of the guest rooms* Well, I mean, yeah. Ness: So come downstairs before they get cold. Penn/Pennsylvania: *comes out of another guest room* Wait, you just made them? Ness: Yeah, I wasn’t tired, so I decided to make lightly-fried fish fillets. LeviathanPat: *has been watching/listening to all of this through the kitchen window* §å¥ "lïgh†l¥-£rïêÐ £ï§h £ïllꆧ" ðñê mðrê †ïmê.

___

Patty/DancePat: When you’re shopping at Lush and another customer comes in and bites one of the soap options because they think it’s cheese. . .I talked to one of the employees about it, and apparently this sort of thing happens way more frequently than you’d think. Mack: Well, if Lush stopped literally presenting soap as deli food, then this wouldn't happen so frequently. Patty/DancePat: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese??? The Detective: . . .Who goes to the deli section of a store and just takes a bite out of the cheese?!

___

[MadPat keeps trying to antagonize Caliban, as if THAT will somehow change Caliban’s opinion of him]

MadPat: *pacing the floor in front of Caliban* And I’m not gonna conversate with you! I’m not gonna invest time in— Caliban: *organizing some Black Market stuff on his laptop, not paying Mad too much attention* I think it’s “converse.” MadPat: . . .Huh? Caliban: *rolling his eyes* Just say “talk.”

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: I haven't slept in seventy-three hours. Ozzie: Eighty. Democratically elected leader of insomnia over here. MadPat: Bitch, it's been ninety for me. I'm going for an even one hundred. Ness: . . .You guys can be terrifying sometimes.

___

The Detective: Oh, you’re back from that outing. What’d you think of that Patty guy? Ness: I can’t remember how we got on the topic of beaches, but he referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter." The Detective: . . . Ness: I don't know how someone so awesome can be so anxious all the time!

___

Mack: You’re making fun of me now, aren’t you? Ozzie: What? Oh, no-no-no, Mack. I’d never—*suddenly points past Mack* MACK LOOK IT’S CALIBAN! Mack: *turns around in a panic* WHERE?! [As it turns out, Caliban is, in fact, nowhere to be seen] Mack: *blinks, pretty much frozen in place* Ozzie: *falls to the floor, laughing hysterically*

___

The Hermit: Let's all agree that going up the stairs on all fours is actually the best experience on earth. Penn/Pennsylvania: Conversely, going down the stairs on all fours is actually the most terrifying experience on earth.

___

Patty/DancePat: Yeah, so, my latest shift at the club was a little rough. Heh. . . Ness: *concerned* Why are you looking up? Patty/DancePat: I need to CRY, but my foundation cost FORTY-EIGHT DOLLARS.

___

The Hermit: How do ethical philosophers feel about murder? Ness: Well. . .I mean, it’s frowned upon. Caliban: Yeah, but what if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier? The Hermit: *nodding along* That’s okay, right?

___

LeviathanPat: ¥ðµ kñðw whå† Ì’vê rêålïzêÐ? The Detective: Some thoughts are better left unsaid? LeviathanPat: ñï¢ê †r¥, åñ¥w套

___

Ness: So they were just using me? Penn/Pennsylvania: I’m sorry, Ness. Mack: *trying to contain his amusement* You must feel pretty stupid right now. Ness: . . . Penn/Pennsylvania: Okay, that’s a time-out. Mack: No, I was just trying to— Caliban: *using his meat cleaver to gesture to the corner of the room* Go sit over there! Mack: *walks away in defeat*

___

Mack: *entering the room, unable to see what's going on just yet* I’m going to dunk on you— Patty/DancePat: *is wearing heels AND is currently practicing some new pole-dancing moves* You’d better bring a ladder, then.

___

The Detective: *exhausted from supernatural shenanigans* Please, God, just let me have one peaceful day?! LeviathanPat: Öh m¥ GðÐ, ¥ðµ ågåïñ? Gïvê ï† å r꧆, ßµÐÐ¥! The Detective: I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU!

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: A riddle for you, my friend! So it’s raining, right? And you pass a bus stop. There are three people there—your most trustworthy friend, a pregnant lady who needs to go to the hospital, and the person of your dreams. However, your smart car only fits two people. What do you do? Ness: Oh, I’ve heard this one before! You lend the car to your friend so they can take the pregnant lady to the hospital, and then you stay at the bus stop with your dream person! Penn/Pennsylvania: Oh, so close, but wrong. The correct answer is as follows—you go home and reEVALUATE YOUR DAMN LIFE! Penn/Pennsylvania: *grabs Ness by the collar and starts playfully shaking him* YOU! BOUGHT! A! SMART! CAR!

___

[Caliban leads Mack over to a closet]

Mack: *walks into the closet* Um. . .what’s in here? Caliban: Oh, it’s just—*turns the room’s light off and grabs the door handle* —YOUR DEMISE. Mack: AHHHHH—! Caliban: *slams the door and locks it*

___

@sammys-magical-au @insane4fandoms @b-is-in-the-closet

[sohemotional]

My Brittana/Glee Fics - Masterlist

Ongoing/Incomplete Fics

Leo and Aquarius

"Brittany and Santana are like the North Star; you're always going back to each other." - Naya Rivera

A collection of Brittana-themed one shots, some canon compliant-ish, some in AUs, showing Santana and Brittany’s love for each other in every universe.

Read on AO3

Read on FF.Net

The Best Thing That's Ever Been Mine

After her breakup with Brittany, Santana is lonely and struggling to cope with life in the big city. The last thing Santana expects is for Brittany to show up at her door and tell her she’s pregnant with their baby.

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

Snow Angel

Santana and her little sister Rachel are rich, spoiled college girls who go to a ski resort during their winter vacation. The siblings aren’t all that athletic but Santana is determined to show off her skills and fails spectacularly. Meeting flirty, super hot ski instructor Brittany makes everything a lot better for her. (Discontinued/On Hiatus)

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

A Walking Study In Demonology

Years after the tragic death of their father, Santana asks Rachel to join her on a mission to save their missing mother before it’s too late. Despite being from a family of hunters, Santana can’t seem to resist the allure of a seductive blonde, blue-eyed enchantress called Brittany along the way. Inspired by Supernatural.

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

Wildfire

Santana, a firebender and the Crown Princess of the Fire Nation falls in love with ditzy, eccentric airbender Brittany of all people, much to the surprise of the nation. Brittana ATLA AU

Read on Tumblr

My Love’s Like The Warmth of the Sun (One Shot Anthology)

Part I: Brittany gets a terrible sunburn during a Glee Club field trip to the beach and it's up to Santana to take care of her. Back in their hotel room, the two can't seem to keep their hands off of each other anyway. A collection of summer-themed Brittana one-shots.

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

Completed Fics

My Name Is No (You Need to Let It Go)

Santana is an egotistical celebrity who instantly falls head over heels in love with Brittany and tries anything to get her attention but the coy blonde keeps playing hard to get. Can she make Brittany fall for her too?

Read on AO3

That Don't Impress Me Much

Brittany is tired of being taken advantage of by selfish, egotistical jerks, so she makes a plan with her friend Tina that she can make some idiot fall for her and then ditch them after she has had her fun. Her plans backfire when she’s swept off her feet by arrogant yet surprisingly sweet celebrity Santana Lopez. (Companion piece to My Name is No, told through Brittany's POV)

Read on AO3

The Ghost in You

Brittany begins flirting with a lonely, mischievous ghost she meets through her Ouija board. Brittana AU Halloween Fic

Read full version on AO3 Read on Tumblr

Are You My Other Mom?/Single Mom!Brittany AU

Brittany’s a single mom with a six year old son who can’t stand any of his mommy’s boyfriends and girlfriends. Now that she’s dating “mommy stealing” Santana, he’s determined to drive her away but Santana has other ideas.

Read on Tumblr

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

Tell Her About It

A confused and heartbroken teenaged Santana gets love life advice from an unlikely source on Valentine's Day. Pre-Season 1 Brittana

Read on AO3

My Future Wife

After being dumped by her boyfriend, Brittany, a naïve and innocent girl from the 1980s with a secret time machine in her garage embarks on a quest to find her perfect husband or wife from the future. In modern times, she meets a cynical Santana Lopez who comes from the wrong side of the tracks and doesn't believe true love exists.

Can these two opposites attract? A.k.a. the Glee Meets “Blast From The Past” AU that absolutely no one asked for.

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

Grumpy Cat

Brittany is a waitress at an old-fashioned diner and Santana is the grouchiest guest they’ve ever had. Even though everyone warns her away from the bad-tempered woman, the blonde is determined to make Santana smile, if it’s the last thing she does.

Read On AO3 Read on FF.Net

Breaking Girl Code (Two Shot)

Girl Code Rule #1: Don’t fall for your best friend’s sibling. Too bad Brittany has already broken it.

Or

Rachel and Santana are sisters but they couldn’t be more opposite in personality. Much to the preppy good girl’s confusion, Rachel’s cheerleader best friend Brittany has a huge crush on the brunette’s badass older sister and will stop at nothing to get her attention.

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

5 Times Santana and Brittany Didn’t Have a Baby (And One Time They Actually Did) (Two Shot)

Ever since they were six, Brittany has always been planning their future babies but Santana isn’t entirely sure she’s ready to be a mom. Maybe she can be convinced otherwise…

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

Put A Ring On It (One Shot, Canon Divergence)

What would happen if Santana had been honest about still having deep feelings for Brittany when the blonde moved on to a new boyfriend? A jealous Santana confronts Brittany and tells her how she really feels after her duel with Sam in the auditorium. An alternative take on 4x13 Diva.

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

I Won’t Say I’m In Love (One Shot)

Santana refuses to ever admit she has feelings for Brittany... yet when the bubbly blonde goes on a date with someone else, Santana can't resist following her to "scope out" the competition and makes a total fool of herself when Brittany catches her.

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

I’m Just The Villain (One Shot)

After Santana storms out when Rachel and the rest of the New Directions insult her, Brittany is the only one who goes to her. Santana is desperate to know if the girl hates her as much as everyone else seems to. Set during Silly Love Songs.

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

Firestarter (Two Shot)

Santana has two secrets that no one in the world can find out about. One is the fact that she’s head over heels in love with her best friend. The other is that she has the superhuman ability to create fire from thin air.

Or

Exposure to a strange, red meteor rock gives Santana the ability to create fire and now it’s threatening to burn her up from the inside out unless she admits her true feelings for Brittany.

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net (Part II of Kryptonite Verse)

Your Eyes Are Like Starlight Now (One Shot)

Brittany thinks they should go to the Glee Club's Christmas Eve party but grumpy Santana just wants to do Christmas in bed with her girlfriend instead. When Santana turns up the charm, the coy blonde can't resist her lover's seductive side.

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

Be Your Teenage Dream Tonight (One Shot)

Brittany and Santana decide to do a duet together after all but on Santana’s terms with the song "Teenage Dream." Their performance doesn't go the way Santana expects. Set during Glee 2x04 Duets.

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

Make Love, Not War (Two Shot, AU)

A scandal ensues on Mount Olympus when the least loved deity, Santana, goddess of war, is caught in flagrante delicto with Brittany the goddess of love, who’s married to Artie, god of blacksmiths. Brittana Greek Mythology AU

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

The Kissing Disease (One Shot)

When Santana gets the flu, it's up to Brittany to play nurse and make sure she gets better. A sick Santana is a force to be reckoned with but the last thing the blonde girl expects is for her best friend to start confessing her secret love for her in her feverish state. Season 1 Era Brittana

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

When A Black Cat Crosses Your Path (One Shot, AU)

Tina puts a hex on Santana and turns her into a cat. The only way to undo the spell and return to her human body is to find someone who loves her and love them in return before the full moon...but who could ever love the aggressive, beastly Santana?

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

Supermom

Santana and her babies all come down with a cold at the same time and caring for sick, whiny Lopezes is no easy feat. Supermom Brittany to the rescue!

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

Making Out in 7-Eleven (One Shot AU)

Santana has always had a huge crush on her childhood friend's older sister, Brittany but is too shy to admit it. A trip to the local convenience store somehow changes everything. Brittana AU

Read on AO3 Read on FF.Net

Other Glee Fics/Other Ships

Nice Guys Finish First

Golden boy quarterback Finn just wants to run with the popular crowd and that means pulling pranks on Rachel Berry with his friends shouldn’t bother him, right? Except despite what everyone tells him, Finn can’t help but feel guilty. Getting stuck alone with a half naked Rachel Berry in the girls' locker room while trying to rescue her from a humiliating prank wasn’t part of his plan. Pre-Season 1 Finchel AU AO3 Link

Sweet Tooth

Finn is a pastry chef at Carole's Cupcakes who's just trying to make it through the Christmas season while Rachel is a Broadway star playing the lead role in Funny Girl. The two seem to have opposite lives but after an unexpected encounter at the cupcake shop, they discover that they have more in common than you'd think. Finchel AU AO3 Link

I’ll Keep You By My Side (With My Superhuman Might)

Rachel has a habit of getting herself into trouble... good thing her amber-eyed hero is always there to save her in the nick of time.

Or

Years after his falling out with Lex and Lana, Clark is now a happy family man. When Clark and Lois' superpowered teenage son Finn gets close to Lex and Lana's sheltered daughter Rachel, their feuding parents want to keep the two apart. Finchel AU AO3 Link (Part I of Kryptonite Verse)