#he's just a kid and he just doomed himself to a terrible fate to save his terrified baby sister

[ssaalexblake]

Manu Noonien-Singh here being an absolute hero of a big brother here while also proving that being an older brother in this show is a fatal concept.

[the-tyler-as-in-skyler]

posting more svsss fanart this time half finished doodles of a lil au that’s been cooking in my brain for a few weeks

fox shen yuan aus have my heart and soul anyways he gains more tails the higher his cultivation is :33

plot points for this below the cut (also apologies for the terrible image quality she’s been through a lot (my google drive))

- shen yuan is a fox demon, he gets popped into a very young fox demon similar to how airplane gets dropped into baby shang qinghua (airplane is sqh in this au but that’s not plot relevant yet)

- little fox shen yuan, still getting the hang of his powers and creating a human form, runs into shen jiu in the woods, realizes this “random” teenager looks a lot like he did in real life, and unconsciously shifts to look like him

- shen yuan and shen jiu become kind of friends (in that shen jiu feels like he needs to protect shen yuan because he thinks he’s naive and also thinks it’s funny when he’s a bitch and shen yuan also thinks that shen jiu is funny when he’s a bitch and that he should probably keep this kid from dying or screwing himself up with his clearly demonic cultivation too bad)

- shen yuan eventually figures out how to look fully human (prior to him and sj going to cang qiong mountain)

- sy and sj become disciples on qing jing together! how does shen yuan cultivate? well sj is the only one who knows he’s a demon but they manage to swipe a fox demon cultivation manual from qing jing peak’s library for him

- when the qing generation ascends shen yuan leaves cang qiong to go be a wandering cultivator and write a bestiary

(at this point you may be asking, where is zhuzhi-lang? he’s in the doodles, why hasn’t he shown up yet? fear not, he is coming)

- while traveling shen yuan decide that the mortal realm is too boring and there are far too many papapa plants there so he travels to the demon realm to record more beasts

- at this point tianlang-jun is still the emperor of the demon realm, and, through shenanigans probably, shen yuan manages to save zhuhai-lang from a rather dangerous plant that mimics normal demonic plants and gets introduced to the emperor

- it does not take long for shen yuan to realize that this is luo binghe’s father and decide, hey, maybe he can help this guy and hopefully get both of luo binghe’s parents to survive so he can have a kind of normal life without the trauma (he is still masquerading as a human at this point and there’s quite a bit of controversy about the demonic emperor taking advice from a human cultivator, linguang-jun later mocks mobei-jun for ‘following in the late emperor’s footsteps’ when he takes shang qinghua as his primary advisor)

- this plan does not work, shen yuan is exposed to the cultivation world as a demon and a traitor and gets his ass tossed into the endless abyss so he can’t warn zzl and tlj about the plot against them

- (shen jiu goes to see him before he gets sent in: “why’d you do it?” “i… i wanted to try and let them (su xiyan and tianlang-jun) be happy together…”)

- sy is stuck in the abyss making himself a little house and strong arming the various horrors down there into liking him

- cut to shen jiu, now shen qingqiu, extremely bitter about the fact that the only person he considered a friend betraying him the cultivation world, and seeing baby binghe who looks just like the guy his friend got tossed into the the abyss for and figures out that this must have been what shen yuan was trying to protect

- shen qingqiu is livid and takes it out on binghe

- yet another cut, we know what bingge’s childhood was like, and binghe’s gets dropped into the abyss (sqq thinks that it’s fitting he sends the beast to the same fate that trying to protect him doomed shen yuan to)

- binghe wanders the abyss, being miserable, for several years before he comes across… a house? the bamboo house from qing jing peak? is he hallucinating? but no, it’s not quite the same, it’s made with whatever freaky bamboo equivalent grows in the abyss and there’s a pen with a six-legged carnivorous horse around the side of it

- shen yuan built himself a version of the bamboo house because he really liked it and he helped build shen qingqiu’s bamboo house as a sort of present/congratulations for ascending to peak lord status and he wanted a comfortable place to relax where he’s less likely to be attacked by a beast

- binghe is very confused when he is enthusiastically greeted by a fox demon who looks like his scummy teacher but is rather quickly endeared and intrigued

- they bond, shen yuan helps binghe find xin mo and they get out of the abyss and into the demon realm together with shen yuan acting as an advisor for binghe similarly to how he did with tlj, with the condition that binghe helps him release tlj and zzl from their prison

- this is the main catalyst for them going to huan hua in this au (most people have forgotten what sy looks like or they were too young to remember his trial even happening, it wasn’t anything super public because publicity for the great sects is very important so they kept things very hush hush)

- shen yuan reunites with zhuzhi-lang and tianlang-jun! it takes them a while to figure out how to properly break them out but they do manage it!

- at some point in the demon realm shen yuan and shang qinghua run into each other and clock that the other person is a transmigrator pretty quickly (they both have a habit of muttering in chinglish during court and they hear each other and do the spider-man point meme)

- sqh and sy bond and binghe and mbj don’t exactly know if they should be jealous about it, they’re very close and seem to share some sort of strange dialect that only the two of them speak and spend a lot of time together?? (they’re arguing and maybe kissing a little bc… cumplane my loves)

- shen yuan eventually has the misfortune of running into liu qingge (who survives here because i love him and i think that sy would at least try to prevent his death because he found him endearing when they were disciples), while sy is delighted that his shidi is alive he’s less happy about having cheng luan pointed directly at his throat in a secluded alleyway when he was just trying to browse the market of a town he remembered being pleasant

- reuniting with lqg leads to reuniting with the rest of cang qiong (and getting yelled at for his incompetence by shen qingqiu before they make up)

- shen yuan has (just barely) convinced binghe that torture is not the answer to solving his trauma so shen qingqiu does not get water prisoned but they aren’t trusted alone in a room together for a good long time

- eventually this probably ends in shen yuan collecting a harem on accident (not that he’s very upset about it but still, he’s confused how he managed this)

- neither binghe nor shen qingqiu are particularly pleased about the harem thing but like… they love shen yuan and if it makes him happy they’ll put up with these other idiots (they totally don’t like some of the other harem members what are you talking about? there’s nothing going on there stop asking them about it)

[stupidsexpotflanders]

Luke being a bad person/doing bad things makes him more tragic as a character,not less

This is(mostly) a copy-paste from a meta I wrote on Reddit. Besides,I'm only talking about the books,the tv show is 100% ignored in this analysis.

Disclaimer:this isn't to excuse Luke's actions or to diminish their severity,it's just that his terrible deeds are a fundamental part of his character as a sympathetic villiain when it comes to both words,not just the latter one.

Luke's life was extremely turbulent. First,he was raised by a mother who not only couldn't properly raise her kid,but she also yelled about his terrible fate while her eyes had a supernatural glow. To top it all,Hermes didn't give any sign,no matter how much Luke prayed. An unpleasant way to get introduced to the divine,I'd say;

Because of May's "crises",Luke ran away from home. There,he had to deal with all of the crazy stuff homeless kids/teens have to,besides the monsters wanting him as breakfast. Perhaps it was during this time he learned about how dangerous the demigod life was,plus desensitization to violence - at least,the beginning of it. Another amount of time Luke prayed for help,but none came until he was 14. To top it all,Hermes said growing up in the streets "builds character";

Camp Half-Blood itself. It surely beats living in the streets(being protected from monsters,training,regular meals),but it's far from flawless. The place has a blasé attitude towards violence and death. Besides many demigods(especially unclaimed ones) going on suicidal missions just to get claimed and/or a smidge of the godly parent's affection,people get slaps on the wrists as punishments for maiming and killing other demigod campers during Capture The Flag(no desserts). If Luke wasn't indifferent towards murder before CHB,he surely became. Now that I think of it,Sally is the only one who deserves credit for Percy's moral code when it comes to authority figures;

After all that happened,Kronos appeared and decided to manipulate Luke. TBH,I think the failed quest was just the last drop. Luke had way too many reasons to get angry at the system,two decades of trauma(he was 19 in TLT,but I'll round it up). Kronos was a bad influence to Luke,using his ressentment to make Luke undego several kinds of decay - including moral;

Using seduction as a weapon on young teens isn't such a dealbreaker for me,as a Luke fan,and even that is part of the tragedy of Luke Castellan. Not only he had to grow up early and his ideas of youth are warped,but there's also the infamously small demigod lifespam. Besides,Luke's exposure to the good parts of the mortal USA moral code might very well be limited(not to mention he himself was unprotected by society). On a tangent,him falling for Annabeth is stupid - whether it's canon or not (I don't want to debate it). Rick wrote them as having a sibling relationship,makes a big deal about a "family promise",then decides to make a love triangle? Way to trash an emotional arc. Now,back to the main topic. Luke being a manipulator and victim of manipulation at the same time is a great way to show how "hurt people hurt people";

Negative emotions. Rick Riordan said Luke's fatal flaw was wrath,and it surely fits. However,another thing that repeatedly doomed Luke was some sort of emotional fragility. First,Luke said Kronos paid him compliments and gave him important stuff to do as a sign of appreciation. Then,the Titan Lord himself said Luke hated and envied Percy. Envy is very hurtful and often stems from a feeling of lack. Luke also was shown as someone who needed validation. From TLT(namely the praises),to TLO(Luke,hosting Kronos,mentioned something about how Chiron "said the gods cared about me"). Even to save Olympus,Annabeth had to offer Luke support.

[melishade]

ok so how about part 2 the attack on titan characters meeting Ironhide and ratchet

Okay, so for this I'm strictly sticking with TFP characters. I don't really know much about Ironhide anyway. Sorry.

However TFP Ratchet is a different story. Let’s say TFP Ratchet does decide to leave Cybertron to process his grief about losing Optimus...

...only to find him on the Attack on Titan world with Megatron and a bunch of humans.

Ratchet can’t properly compute this at all.

Optimus quickly provides memories to Ratchet to help prove who he is, but Ratchet becomes overjoyed at the fact that Optimus is alive...but then immediately tries to jump Megatron and Optimus has to restrain him.

Levi already likes him.

So once Ratchet is given the run down of what’s going on...he is a little reluctant to help but does it anyway because he just got Optimus back and he’s not losing him again. Although he refuses repairing Megatron for any injuries for a while. It would be literally defying any ethical code in repairing the guy responsible for nearly every patient that came under his knife that he failed to save. Hanji hears Megatron’s muttering something about Ratchet being Optimus’ lap dog and almost rats him out for the fun of it.

Although, the Survey Corps could not help but be more relieved that Ratchet is here, because they no longer have to worry about Optimus’ health and what they would need to do if Optimus ever got injured or fell ill.

Ratchet getting along with the Survey Corps would be a little bit harder than most. It took time for the kids to grow on him in the TFP series, him bonding more with Rafael. Levi and Ratchet prefer silent company. Nothing more; nothing less. Both appreciate the arrangement. 

Ratchet has mixed feelings about Hanji. On one hand, he’s never met a human that fascinated with Cybertron: ever, and he’s more than willing to share the pride of his culture. On the other hand, Hanji can’t keep her hands to herself, and has nearly broken his supplies. Boundaries have to be set up.

Ratchet, later, is actually quite mortified about the 104th because of how young they are. Ratchet actively complains to Optimus that they are Jack and Miko’s age and this is some messed up slag. He slowly starts to become a mother hen and scolds them for reckless behavior.

Ratchet feels terrible for Eren and Ymir. This power that he has, and it shortens his lifespan. Ratchet thinks that’s horrible and will start finding ways to extend their lives. No matter how he feels about the humans, they didn’t deserve this kind of fate. He’s seen how that power and responsibility has hurt Optimus and scarred him. He doesn’t want that happening to anyone else.

Because of Ratchet’s involvement, both technological and medical practices advance at a pretty alarming rate.

-Ratchet has shouted “I needed that!” at least once.

-Ratchet would have threatened Zeke, calling himself the ‘Doctor of Doom’ to make it stick.

[themidnightcleric]

TW death, transphobia, blatant suicidality, ableism, terrible thoughts u should not indulge

vent post

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..I actually don't think no one loves me. I just fundamentally believe they're wrong and will inevitably be disappointed when they discover I am a husk person not a real human being and that's my fate and believe or not most of this is related to ADHD bc I can't fix it or stick with anything and all the meds make me sick so I feel doomed to do fuck all until I rot and die. Every time I get hopeful my body betrays me. Fucking MCAS.

Icannot emphasize enough that I will take myself out of at least run off into the woods to try and live like an animal, if something does not change in the next 2 years to make it possible for me to exist in society. Like getting disability j guess would help. I am a dog. Not a person. I cannot give anymore.

it is not worth living this way. Every day is an endless punishment for all the things I cannot do and at this point the pit is so deep i will not get out.

And so like posting in this way and alienating myself are a way of pushing everyone out but simultaneously hoping somehow the cry for help will reach someone who can genuinely help me. I know this isn't me, this isn't the bigger spirit that animates me speaking this is the thing that wants to kill me, but can't even show itself to the people who say they love me. We have seen too much and the desire to destroy something significant is getting stronger. I guess this is an admission I understand su*cide bombers and crave going out burning a bank or a church or a detention center. simultaneously a desperate plea for someone to show me some kind of other way that isn't this plodding, hesitating half life. Two of my friends before I left my home state told me I should have been dead by now. I know what they meant and it's great I am alive but I don't see a future other than death. It's so close, so intimate. I go to sleep with death every night waiting for her. The funny thing is not many people I know closely have died. If they had it actually might be easier like I could live for them. But instead it feels like I'm the one who is supposed to die. I live with that every day and I know I'm not the only one but with everything that's happening I no longer can believe things will get better. I'm just trying to do as much good as I can before it comes for me. I don't see anyone who really needs me here. Or wants me bad enough to merit staying. Like it's all pipe dreams, could have beens, obligations. Fake. In the clouds.

I haven't been real since I was a kid.

I'm sorry y'all. I'm really sorry. I don't know if it will even matter when it happens. Like a candle burning out. Who is gonna notice beyond another little wave of sad posts. Currently I'll probably be buried by my family as a woman. They'll say it was inevitable. I was always so mentally unwell. Kill me and blame me for it.

I have so many ideas and so much passion but no discipline for it and frankly I feel like a piece of paper god put a sketch on and crumpled up and threw away. Like that episode of Gravity Falls where Dipper clones himself and there's a Glitch Dipper who everyone sort of feels bad for until he dies. Two headed calf. All I have ever tried to be is kind while people saw more in me than I could give or sustain. At least I got to see the stars.

My soul is good but it can't live here on this plane right now. It doesn't want to. All the people I love are fighters who metabolize everything into medicine and power for the future or at least stick around hedonistically. I am not built like that. I find no pleasure in pleasure. I am weak and too fragile to exist by myself and at every turn am reminded of this. I try to play it off as kink or funny but really, I don't think anyone can survive the level of self erasure that my system has developed.

My friend keeps telling me to play Disco Elysium but it's 40 dollars and I have to save all my $ for gas and credit card payment. To be responsible. Why do I even fucking care. I'm scared if I stop caring anymore I will just let go and become fully catatonic.

Hopefully this is rock bottom and somehow I will bounce up into a new perspective tomorrow. I pushed myself into burnout because all this messaging online about Palestine and genocide is like you aren't doing enough and that really really works against my ability to do anything like the PDA I cannot help and have been fighting my whole life to just like, brush my teeth. I can't watch these people beg for help and so many turn away in hatred and then not even make phone calls. I am trying to look for the helpers but I think the fascists want to kill all of us.

It's gonna take a miracle to get through this winter. I wish I could show somebody how desperate I feel. The pills are right there. I never get rid of them. I could do it tonight. But I won't.

I don't know how long you have to scream for help. I don't think it helps anyone. People fall down the spiral. Maybe there is something to live for for others but for me, it's all conjecture. I have full responsibility to bring about everything that I could live for. If I give up, it doesn't happen. If I give up, the good things in this world go on without me. No one ever knew me really. I feel so fundamentally separated & invisible.

I'm mad I feel this way and am wasting my life talent and time. I am tired of being depressed and low key a shitty friend. I am ready for God to take me and use me for some new form of life that has a fighting chance to be something.

If only that weren't just a delusion. I wanted my life to mean something and leave a mark but at the end of the day this voice tells me it's not even worth that, that no one will remember me.

Pathetic. Jesus. How do you fight this.

I'm tired.

I'll keep fighting another day at a time. But there's no way to be okay right now. I have to live with this person the world has made me into and let go of who we could have been with more love.

[professorspork]

Floating Array Anon here! Those are all really good points! And I'll concede that "weapon" was probably not the best term to use. I just think there's a really interesting debate to be had about the moral implications of creating (or raising) a sentient being for a specific purpose, especially if that purpose involves violence and death. There's a conversation somewhere in there between Penny and Pietro that I really want to see, since Pietro might blame himself in a way for his daughter's fate.

Oh, absolutely! [And here’s that Floating Array post, for those of you just tuning in.]

Part of what’s interesting here is that the show has encouraged us not to think of Pietro that way, because Ironwood is right there. I was going to make a “Penny has two dads” joke about it, but the crux of it, really, is that she doesn’t. She has one boss, and one dad. Whereas Ironwood consistently talks about her like a tool to be used (“Penny is completely under my control”) or a robot as unfeeling as he is (“If there is no Mantle then there is no reason for you not to work with me”), Pietro unequivocally thinks of her as his daughter. That’s what he tells the kids-- “my daughter’s told me so much about you.” Obviously the big crowning moment of this is in Amity, when he straight up says he does not care about saving the world, he doesn’t want her in danger. He wants her to live her life. But that wasn’t an eleventh hour first-time admission. He’s been consistent about this as long as we’ve known him. I’m thinking about his conversation with Ruby in Worst Case Scenario as a sort of prime example. He frets over “what people want to do to my girl,” and then explains:

Pietro: When the General first challenged us to find the next breakthrough in defense technology, most of my colleagues pursued more obvious choices. I was one of the few who believed in looking inward for inspiration. Ruby: You wanted a protector with a soul. Pietro: I did. And when General Ironwood saw her, he did too. 

Every time Pietro talks about Penny in terms of what she can do, her purpose... it’s voiced through other people. The General wanted defense technology. Ruby’s the one who calls her a protector; he just agrees. 

The moral quandary Pietro needs to reckon with isn’t that he made a weapon and called it a girl (see: Rhodes and Cinder), or that he raised a girl and called her a weapon (see: Marcus and Mercury Black). It’s that he was asked to make a weapon, and instead he raised a girl, and now he buries his head in the sand and despairs when she and everyone around her still talks about her in terms of violence and utility. Penny believes she’s not a weapon, most of the time, but she’s a little shakier about what she is, instead. And no wonder, because Pietro’s been dodging the question since day one. He delivered the opposite of what was asked for and then let himself pretend that’s not what happened. Ironwood asked for a thing-- a thing that would stand between Atlas and the darkness, a thing that could protect people... ostensibly so PEOPLE wouldn’t have to get hurt. But Ironwood isn’t squeamish about this because of human cost, he’s intent on it because of efficiency. What’s better, squishy soldiers or an army of combat drones? A dozen tiny Huntsman or one fuckoff giant mecha? Of course he greenlit the Penny Project; it’s all the benefits of a human combatant-- the improvisation, the discernment, the ability to prioritize-- with, as far as he’s concerned, none of the risks. There’s no death for a thing that can be rebuilt, and no pesky feelings to deal with. As far as he knows.

But the problem is Pietro made a person instead, and loved her. But everyone else still needed and expected her to be something else, because that’s what was commissioned. And I don’t know that Pietro knows how to process his own hand in that, and how poorly it went, without framing it as regret for making her, which he absolutely doesn’t. So what would coming to terms with that look like, instead? If Pietro were to blame himself, he’d say something like “I never should have let them use her like that.” But she was made to be used-- he would never have had a Penny to lose in the first place if he hadn’t agreed to make a military asset. There is no scenario where he could have woken up one day and made himself a daughter; he’d never have gotten the funding or materials. He must learn to accept the chicken with the egg. How does he square his complacency with the Atlas war machine with his pride in what he did in spite of it? How does he make amends to someone he doomed by making, when she became so much? I don’t know. That’s not an easy question to answer. Ozpin’s had thousands of years to dwell on it and he still hasn’t figured it out.

Because the thing is, Pietro’s waffling over her purpose got Penny’s sense of identity caught in the middle. She’s getting mixed messages. So many of her most important conversations are about her struggling to figure out if her experience is universal or only her burden to bear. Ruby (and to some extent, Winter) must reassure her over and over: no, that’s normal, everyone feels like that, your emotions are relatable and also valid. She feels so much guilt-- for not being optimal, or for not following orders. She wasn’t able to single-handedly keep the Grimm out of Mantle and therefore ensure everything else could go as planned; she wasn’t able to save Fria; she stole Winter’s destiny from her. If she were what they made her to be, surely she wouldn’t have failed, right? It’s why it’s heartbreaking when she pulls Ruby aside in Refuge:

“I was the protector of Mantle, but now, I am much more than that... and I wish I was not.”

But the thing is, if they bring her back-- and this is one of the many reasons I believe they have to-- she won’t be.

Finally.

This has been the goal all along. Ruby outwitted Ambrosius because she was desperate to get Penny out from under the burden of her terrible purpose-- to do what she’s ordered to, to be at the beck and call of those who outrank her, or die trying. And then Penny went and sacrificed herself anyway, which: of course she did. Because she was taught it was all she was good for, if you want to be mean about it, or-- or because she thought it was the right thing to do, if you’re forgiving. It’s the same thing any of her friends would do, if they were in her shoes. I’m giving you a head start. That’s what love looks like; it’s the choice heroes make. Isn’t it?

But to get at the root of the problem, we have to rewind back further. Penny was reactivated the first time not because Pietro wanted her to be (though surely he did), but because she had a job to do. The contract wasn’t finished; Ironwood wasn’t going to give up on his fancy new toy just because it fell apart. But now? There’s no more Mantle to protect. Atlas has fallen. And beyond that-- her friends don’t need her to be the Maiden, either. That’s a mutable title, and one that has passed her by; they still have one, even with her gone.

So this next time around... she’ll have the chance to process why she made the decisions she did, and to move past it, because she’ll know how much she’s worth to them. Not the Penny Project, not the Winter Maiden, but Penny Polendina.

Which is to say: they don’t need her, they just want her. 

They want her. 

[confused-as-all-hell]

i am thrilled to announce the second installment in my idle series, focusing solely on jesper and wylan. i would simply like to remind everyone, however, that these are meant to be poetic and full of prose, rather than serious and solid fics, that's all.

tag list was removed for bewildering reasons, but anyways

Wylan Van Eck hadn't always loved him.

Once upon a time, he had only been a quiet boy from the largest city in the world, lips smudged with paint, copper lashes low over eyes bluer than the fucking summer sky.

Once upon a time, he had spent his days sequestered in his favourite studio, head tilted just so slightly, dappling the canvas in shades of green and gold, a spare brush between his teeth.

Once upon a time, his evenings were spent alone at the piano, slim fingers hovering over the keys as if he could wring his childhood from the notes, copper curls damp with bathwater.

Once upon a time, artwork meant slender brushes and sticky gouache and glass jars of paint; now he could only define it as eyes like dusty sunlight, soft lips that tasted of forgiveness, a grin to light the world aflame.

And Wylan was fucking aflame.

He was burning.

When he was sketching sleepily at his desk, the sun a dying cinder at his back, sharp angles and vivid coats and pearl-handled revolvers sprawled from the tip of his charcoal pen.

When he was laying alone in the bath, water lapping over the hard planes of his body, the room aglow in soft shades of bronze and green, all he could do was dream.

When he was sitting in a lecture hall, information and dates and names pounding through his ears, all he could see was the elegant figure before him, scrawling down his notes, one leg kicked up against a girl's chair.

Wylan couldn't help but track the careful movements of his hand, the graceful loops and lines of his writing, one finger braced against the metal spiral of his notebook.

His name was Jesper, he knew. Jesper Fahey.

A soft name, the sound a rolling wave on his tongue, rising and falling. It tasted like whiskey, smooth and sweet, every note rich and unfettered.

He wanted to find out how it would feel in his mouth, during the final hours of the night, how it would sound.

He wanted to hear his own name on Jesper's lips, a breathless gasp, a quiet moan, a pleading whisper.

He wanted to hear Jesper say his name, so simply.

He wanted to hear his name.

The very first time Wylan painted him felt like taking a drug. He was sprawled in his bed, staring dazedly at a dark spider clinging to the leftmost wall, and he was losing his fucking mind.

He couldn't get the image of Jesper's hands out of his head. In the chamber of his mind, he had locked away the sight as if to keep it safe and sheltered; those fucking beautiful hands, broad and warm, lines etched into the calloused palm, nails squared off, three rings circling each finger.

He wanted to draw them in charcoal and graphite and ink.

He wanted to paint them in gouache and acrylics and watercolour.

He wanted to line them in silver and bronze and emerald.

He wanted to lift those hands to his mouth and kiss them.

And so at three in the morning, still in his pajamas and hair utterly bedraggled, eyes swollen with exhaustion and limbs sore, he was setting himself up before a blank canvas.

"Just one painting," he whispered, touching a slim finger to a brush.

He promised himself a quick sketch, just the soft shape of his hands, or the lilt to his smile, or maybe even the blazing hue of his eyes.

One painting.

He made quick work of locating his favourite paints, a set of vibrant gouache his mother had gifted him, bottled neatly into little glass jars.

And, so fucking tenderly, he selected every single colour that he had likened to Jesper.

Rich gold and heady crimson, molten copper and softest ivory, prussian blue and clinging silver, dreamy amethyst and clear chrysocolla.

They stained Wylan's hands as he dappled the bare canvas in every prismatic hue, smudging over his wrists and fingertips and the limber handle of his brush.

When the sun rose, fierce and proud against a backdrop of blue blue blue, he only wiped a droplet of copper from his lip and kept going.

There was something utterly consuming about being locked away in that room, the strong scent of paint and turpentine, the haze of shades and light and quiet piano music, the blur of being trapped in lands one never wanted to leave.

He spent hours kneeling there on the floor, head bowed over the canvas as if the painting was his altar, reveling in every last detail. And there were Jesper's hands, soft and gentle, and the sight nearly drove him mad.

He wanted to feel those hands tangled through his hair.

He wanted to feel them on his bare skin.

He wanted.

"Just one painting," he echoed, and set down his brush.

But when he glimpsed Jesper laughing in the fields, snow dripping down his cheek like tears, he wanted to capture that indomitable joy in acrylics, brilliant in their beauty.

But when he caught Jesper downing a mug of his friend's coffee, he never wanted to forget the way he winked, the way his hand wrapped carelessly around the cardboard cup.

But when he saw Jesper dancing against a curvy girl in red velvet, he couldn't tear his eyes from the sharp set of his jaw, the lowered lashes, the vulnerable angle of his bare wrists.

He wanted to trace them in charcoal, wanted to preserve the sight in paper, never to be lost or forgotten.

Jesper grinned lazily at the girl, one corner of his fucking beautiful mouth lifting, and then he was pressed up against a different boy, head thrown back in laughter.

He whirled past his partners, leaving them with only a whisper or a slow, deliberate kiss. They grabbed for his attention, for the gift of his smile, reaching out with greedy hands.

Then Jesper was scanning the club, honey eyes roaming over the floors and walls and bars. They locked on Wylan, and something in his gaze lit.

A blazing match.

A building on fire.

A city burning, burning, burning.

And Wylan never knew how he found the courage, but suddenly he was striding up between the writhing bodies, and the ocean was roaring in his ears, and he was saying lightly, "Would you favour me with a dance?"

It was not graceful and elegant and slow.

It was stumbling and gasping and and breathless laughter.

It was drowning within the cacophony of pulsing music.

It was drowning within the steady depth of Jesper's eyes.

The flashing strobe lights were pulsing blue and green and red and pink, and the sounds of laughter and shuffling steps filled the club, and there was music echoing up the walls and skittering up the vertebrae of his spine.

It felt like being trapped in a prism where time did not exist.

Wylan's eyes fluttered shut, and he thought, I will burn as those cities burned.

And when Jesper lowered his head and whispered, "What would you say to a kiss, Wylan Van Eck?" he was fucking gone.

Jesper had never looked more handsome, his lashes low, the curve of his jaw sharp, every glint of gold in his eyes sparkling.

Wylan wanted to draw him bare and asleep in his own tangled bedsheets, the elegant lines of his body extended, every single angle and plane etched deep.

He wanted to draw the way he looked in that very moment, beautiful and brash and bold.

And that was a terrible idea for so many reasons.

It was a terrible idea because Jesper was raucous and brazen as the sun, and Wylan was soft and elegant as the moon, and neither of them could read the stars, but surely it was fated somewhere that dark and light did not find peace within one another.

It was a terrible idea because they were two fucking stupid collage kids who could never, ever find a life together.

It was a terrible idea because it was Achilles and Patroclus all over again, the boy who thought he could save his heart, the fucking idiot who believed love was indomitable.

Love would not absolve Wylan of the quiet terror that had sunken into his bones. Love would not ease the addictions that had crept upon Jesper like hungry vines.

He would not be the boy waiting, dishonored and broken, in the war tent.

He would not be the boy who watched as the world's cruelty took all that was dear to him.

He wouldn't.

But there was Jesper, with his lilting smile and the fierce look in his eyes, the scent of brandy clinging to him like smoke, and all Wylan could do was croak, "Yes."

And when Wylan staggered home at four in the morning, his hair a tangled copper halo, he couldn't help but think even Achilles and Patroclus might have hoped once.

They might have made out like teenagers and laughed in between kisses.

They might have been doomed, fated to die within the stars, but perhaps Wylan and Jesper would defy the odds. Perhaps Wylan could bear the magnanimity of his father's terrors, and perhaps Jesper could set down the playing cards and walk away from a bad hand.

They didn't have to be the heroes made history, legends turned legacies.

They could just be Wylan Van Eck and Jesper Fahey.

And in his paintings, they were.

In his paintings, they were very simply two boys kissing in the dark, all roaming hands and breathless gasps, shirts unbuttoned and sleeves rucked to their elbows, lips that tasted of redemption.

But as the days whirled past, and spring blossomed, Wylan came to realize life was so much more than soft, secret paintings. Life might even have been better.

Because life was Jesper asleep in his bed, one hand tucked beneath his cheek, limbs sprawled out across the silk sheets, sunlight gilding his bare body.

Life was standing at the stove with Jesper beside him, bickering over who got the first waffle, nearly doubled up in their laughter, exchanging sleepy kisses that tasted of sugar.

Life was laying in the fields with Jesper, leaning against him ever so slightly, their shoulders pressed together, the quiet brush of the wind lulling them to sleep, sweet as any melody.

Life was Wylan playing the piano in the midst of the night, cold moonlight easing through the blinds and slanting across the elegant notes, and Jesper's head was pillowed on his lap, and he was whispering, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Wylan hadn't known love could be so simple.

He hadn't known.

And sometimes Jesper would read to him, the low cadence of his voice a melody sweet as sunlight, and Wylan would listen with his eyes fluttering shut, and he would think, If this is burning, I will spend the rest of my life with my hands in the fire.

There was the fierce freedom of open roads and summer air and vibrant artwork and daring kisses.

There was the quiet freedom of elegant piano music and large windows and scalding coffee and history books.

There was the unfettered freedom of them, of leaping across the broad rim of a water fountain, Wylan turning his face to the sun, warmth and light and the soft glitter of water, and Jesper's eyes were the colour of hope in the haze of dusk, and he whispered, "You look like a fucking prince, Wy."

Ice cream on his hands and seawater dampening his curls and blinding sunshine everywhere, and Jesper thought he looked like a prince.

What do I see, when I look at him?

Starlight slanting through their windows, grazing the idle curve of Jesper's lips.

Chocolate ice cream dripping down the cone, catching on Jesper's tongue.

Glittering rings of silver and amethyst and veined gold, looped around Jesper's fingers.

What do I find beautiful about him?

Was it his laughter or his smile or the way he buttoned up his shirt in the morning?

Was it the soft cadence of his voice as he read aloud, or the way he stroked Wylan's curling hair idly?

Was it the clever lilt of his smile or the quick wink of his lashes or the mocking shrug of his shoulders?

Was it the very simple fact that when the morning sunlight swept through the windows and slanted over the bed, Jesper looked as though he'd been crowned by the gods, a vision in bronze and gilt and amber? With his hair rumpled and his lashes low and the hard planes of his bare body clear as he knelt, Wylan had never seen anything so fucking wonderous.

What do I want to remember?

Their mornings, a sleepy haze of pancake batter and orange juice and tangled bedsheets, of rambling stories and dazed kisses?

Their afternoons, a blissful tangle of shared smiles and iced coffee and inside jokes, of hurried texts and chocolate bars?

Their nights, a frenzied blur of pulsing music and strobe lights and bedraggled hair, of breathless moans and fizzing champagne?

All of it. I want to remember all of it.

So what do you see, when you look at him?

Wylan saw love.

He saw salvation.

He saw soft lips and blazing eyes and broad hands.

He saw cities burning, burning, burning.

He saw Jesper Fahey.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if vampire Bella took Renesmee and ran away with her? What do you think would happen?

Well that would be an entirely different story on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin.

First, when is Bella running away and why?

Per your ask, you specify that Bella is a vampire. This means that this is not beginning of Breaking Dawn AU where Bella, terrified Edward and the Cullens will force her to abort, flees from them in order to save Renesmee’s life (sacrificing her own in the process). 

For the record, though you didn’t ask, I imagine Bella would have a terrible time, starving in the jungle in Brazil, probably drinking the blood of dead road kill until Renesmee pulls an alien and bursts out of her womb and stomach. Renesmee then eats her mother’s corpse.

Edward would never find her because he’s an awful tracker, he’d probably do what he does best, goes to Rio. Eventually, he shows back up on Aro’s doorstep telling him it’s time for assisted suicide again, because Bella is definitely dead this time. Just to make sure they actually do it this time, he walked into Volterra shirtless.

Aro just stares, gets up, and walks out of the room. He has a very terrible phone call to make to Carlisle and then a hybrid vampire (and probably an immortal child) to track down somewhere in South America.

Caius looks at Marcus, Marcus looks at nothing, Caius tries to decide if he’s more insulted by being Edward Cullen’s assisted suicide express or by Edward Cullen’s existence. It’s a very tough call. I imagine that, rather than let Edward slip away again after breaking the law several times over now, Caius goes, “Okay” and lights him on fire.

But you specified that Bella’s a vampire, meaning this is happening post birth and possibly post Breaking Dawn.

To be honest, I think towards the end of Breaking Dawn, Bella’s left the planet. Her world is a surreal haze that has nothing to do with reality. She had this horrific pregnancy, she actually died, went through three days of agony, and is now this alien being.

She prances through fields of flowers in beautiful clothes, she has a lovely five-year-old precocious daughter, he has Edward and a small little cabin where they have the world’s tamest sex, she’s able to keep Charlie in her life, the realities of vampirism are miles away from her.

Bella’s not living on Earth anymore, she’s in the headspace only Esme of the books lives in. And, to be honest, I think Bella’s doomed to become Esme 2.0. Bella will go full incest at high school (as you know she, Renesmee, and Edward will be posing as triplets), probably bake cookies for Renesmee (who probably can’t even eat them), thinks vampire hunts are the equivalent to camping and a wonderful bonding experience, has 0 awareness that every relationship in her life is falling apart, and is just this deeply weird and frankly creepy person.

Renesmee is more... a concept to Bella than a person. I mean, I don’t blame Bella in this, Bella goes from never thinking about having kids to suddenly having an alien five-year-old in a month. How do you process that?

The damning part is Bella thinks she knows her daughter very well. She looks at Renesmee and sees this alien thing that she can’t gauge at all (she keeps trying to guess Renemsee’s physical and mental age in human terms when Renesmee isn’t remotely human, her DNA is completely different, she just has this human shell). Bella concludes she’s very mature and adult in mentality. Renesmee seems to read Bella’s favorite books, (which by the way are really weird reading material for children), and Bella bonds with her daughter by reading Wuthering Heights to her alien child. 

Bella sees a miniature Edward in her child (in terms of sophistication and intelligence) and thinks everything’s wonderful.

Bella’s life is perfect. Everyone else’s lives, including Renesmee’s, are perfect. Why would she ever leave?

So, for Bella to take Renesmee and run, we need a catalyst.

I believe Edward will inevitably cheat on her (yes, I know, I haven’t posted a meta yet but you can’t simply open the dark box labeled Edward Cullen and emerge unscathed, these things take time). But I think that would prompt Bella herself to leave or, more likely, be the Yoko Ono effect that breaks up the Cullen coven.

It’d be devastating, but has nothing to do with Renesmee. I imagine Renesmee would just sit there, eating rats like she’s eating popcorn, looking rather bored as she saw this coming ages ago and she has no idea why everyone’s losing their collective minds.

I also imagine she takes this as permission as that she can eat Edward (I imagine Renesmee and Edward’s relationship is... not good, but that’s for another meta).

The Romanians may come calling and try to sweet talk Bella into the necessity of destroying the Volturi. That, or Edward himself will decide it’s his god given mission to destroy the Volturi and free mankind and vampirekind from their tyranny.

However, while that will result in a horrific dystopia, it doesn’t necessitate Bella and Renesmee breaking off from the coven. That, and Bella’s so far from reality, that I imagine it doesn’t sink in for a long time and perhaps ever that she now lives in a hellscape.

I think it’d have to be a direct threat to Renesmee from Edward. And a clear, non-negotiable, horrifying threat at that (which Edward is fully capable of).

I say Edward, because that would be the biggest betrayal to Bella. After New Moon, I believe that Bella thinks her fate with the family rests on Edward’s opinion alone. Edward can make them flip on her in an instant. If it was someone else threatening Renesmee, then Edward could come with her or they could do something about whoever’s gone crazy.

If Edward decides that, no, it is time to kill the demon child then Bella will lose faith in the entire coven. She’ll panic, and she will run with Renesmee as far and as fast as she can.

Volterra’s off the table thanks to the Breaking Dawn fiasco, I imagine Bella would be too paranoid to seek out any of Carlisle’s friends as she’d lump Carlisle in with the threat that is Edward. So, likely, she and Renesmee would go to Antarctica or somewhere else completely uninhabited.

Edward would go to Rio.

Bella and Renesmee would probably finally talk to one another. Though it’s probably mostly Renesmee trying to deal with the emotional, depressed, mess that is her mother whose entire fantasy has now completely fallen apart.

Renesmee gets to be the new Jake!

Carlisle, meanwhile, is wherever the Cullen family has moved to, trying to process what even happened and what he’s going to do. He’s probably lost all faith in Edward and finally acknowledged that something’s not right and is desperately trying to get a hold of Bella and Renesmee, who aren’t answering his phone calls.

[wishingicouldfly]

I've been actively blogging for more than six months, even though I've had a tumblr account for ten years. I started reading One Direction (specifically Larry) fanfiction about the same time.

Originally, I read exclusively canon compliant fiction--I was hungry for industry insider, what-could-have-happened narratives. But I've slowly branched out into other genres. I find fanfic--good fanfic--super calming. When I've had too much stunting, too much noise, I grab a fanfic and immerse myself. So I thought it was time to do a post about my favorites. Keep in mind, I'm terrible at cataloging, and I have over 150 bookmarks on my A03 Account, so this is by no means an exhaustive list.

I'm not including the classics like Tired, Tired Sea and Escapade. While I do love both of those (so well written), because a lot of people know about those already.

My all time favorites are by @helloamhere

1. The Multipicity of Powers - https://archiveofourown.org/works/28580229

Maybe in another universe he isn’t different. Maybe he hadn’t been given an impossible choice. Maybe he wouldn’t have lost everything and broken everything and then fallen impossibly, irrevocably in love with the first next thing that was kind. Maybe in that universe he doesn’t feel like he’s never breathing, always pretending, teaching the kids even though they all have to learn alone, trying hard not to read the headlines, and so afraid, every day, that he won’t be a good enough teammate to the superhero he can’t live without. He knows that love isn’t supposed to feel this way, slid secret under your skin like a surgical razor, an invisible war held close over the tender vein that keeps you alive. On the other hand, Louis wonders, had he ever known how to do it any other way?

Maybe there’s a universe where he doesn’t have to keep all his secrets on the inside.

But this isn’t that universe.

//an X-Men AU.

Me: I never thought I'd love a super hero 1D cross over, but this is so well done. The backstory, the pacing, the characterization, the friendship. Read it.

2. Saving Symphony Hall and it's prequel Night Out - https://archiveofourown.org/works/12633921

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

Me: The best sex scene I've ever read is in the prequel Night Out. Sexy, but tender. I love the characterizations in this duo--ABO but not traditional. Doesn't feel out of character.

3. Just Let Me -https://archiveofourown.org/works/11695350

The party was going well. So well, Niall had already sworn undying love to one multi-tiered chocolate cake, two friendly corgi-poodle mixes, Zayn’s hair, and the entire population of Los Angeles. So well, Zayn had only laughed and ruffled Niall’s hair and not even twitched towards a cigarette. So well, nearly everyone had spilled far past the boundaries of the night’s original plans, extracting bottles of vodka from the cabinets and losing a lot of clothes. Harry had proclaimed that he was finally going to throw a small and very grownup dinner party and of course here they were three hours later, fifty people half-naked in the pool. Soon to be full-naked, if Louis had to guess. Everybody in LA loved a heated pool. Everybody loved Harry.

Me: I love love love this. Harry is so gentle, and Louis is so stubborn and needy. It's ABO but subtle. I'll read this one again and again. It's comforting.

@HelloAmHere is one of the best writers I know--amazing stuff. I also love their werewolf story, but it's not finished, so I won't link it here.

Other favorites:

1. Seven Up by cherrystreet - https://archiveofourown.org/works/5828539

Very loosely based on the British TV show "The Up Series" and somewhat inspired by the song “Something I Need” by Onerepublic, we follow the lives of Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson in an interview setting every seven years. They fall apart and come together, their lives and emotions recorded. Harry calls it a time capsule. Louis calls it a pain in the arse.

Me: Trigger Warning, major character death. I literally SOBBED through the end of this. It was lovely and devastating. So good. But be warned.

2. Light, Spark and Fire series by @greenfeelings

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

Or, Louis and Zayn run a music label, Liam is Britain’s up-and-coming pop star, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down until he builds his own up, and Niall holds them all together without realising he does.

Me: A nice healthy three-parter. Characters you just want to live with for a while.

3. Relief Next to Me by dolce_piccante - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117942

AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more.

Me: This one is super long, so be prepared when you dive in. It's got a lot of lovely bits, and some great smut.

4. 2012 'Verse by ashavahishta - https://archiveofourown.org/series/27601

Me: This is a five-parter and satisfies my love of canon compliant stories. It spans most of 2012 and into 2013, and illustrates the difficulties of Harry and Louis' relationship amid the band success and management disapproval.

5. Love After the End of the World by mercurial-madhouse (writing_practice) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/31251434/chapters/77248901

Society shattered when all electricity suddenly cut off across the globe, plunging the world into darkness. Now, Prometheus Industries is the sole remaining supply of power, a saving grace to those who survived Lights Out. As fugitives in no-man’s land struggling to break into Prometheus HQ, death lurks around every corner for Louis and Zayn. Things get complicated when a routine recon falls apart and Louis collides with Harry and his mates Niall and Liam, survivors with their own agenda.

When staying alive is already a constant battle, the deadliest weakness is to be in love. For Harry and Louis, finding each other sits on top of the endless list of What Else Could Go Wrong.

Me: Really unusual (as far as I can tell) end of the world story. I loved the characterizations of soul mates here at the end of the world.

6. Flightless Bird by audreyhheart - https://archiveofourown.org/works/6401653/chapters/14656807

AU where Louis Tomlinson is a principal dancer with The Royal Ballet. When his rival from ballet school, moody dance prodigy Harry Styles joins the company, old wounds are reopened and old passions reignited. During the company's production of Swan Lake the secret that doomed their love is finally revealed, but will it be too late?

Me: Trigger Warning, sexual assault (by an original character to a major character). This was a little brutal because I hated to see a broken Harry, but it was well written and has a happy ending.

7. Wear It Like A Crown by zarah5 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1816771/chapters/3900322

AU. As part of a team of fixers hired to handle a gay scandal in Buckingham Palace, Louis expects Prince Harry to be a lot of things—most notably a royally spoilt brat. Never mind that the very same Prince Harry used to star in quite a number of Louis' teenage fantasies.

Me: I loved Louis in this one--actually they are both pretty great. Scratch that, they are ALL pretty great.

8. Shake Me Down by AGreatPerhaps12 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/3331958/chapters/7285322

Harry's new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

Me: I don't like the self-hate here, but it was necessary for the story and H comes around. Found family vibe.

9. Gods & Monsters by Velvetoscar - https://archiveofourown.org/works/2090982/chapters/4550871

The instructions were simple: seduce and destroy Harry Styles. Not once did they discuss the option of Louis actually falling in love. So, naturally, that's exactly what he did.

Me: I loved Harry in this one. Louis gets there. I don't like Liam, but I don't think you're supposed to. Zayn is great.

10. Own the Scars by crinkle-eyed-boo (KimmieRocks) - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1010796

Louis has never felt like he was good enough: for his stepdad, for his life-long best friend, for the life he's supposed to want. After an accident that nearly costs him his life, Louis' parents send him to rehab where he’s forced to face his demons. On the long and difficult road to recovery, Louis must confront the truths he’s been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth. Because before he can love anyone else, he’s got to learn how to love himself first.

Me: Harry is lovely in this one. Trigger warning, substance abuse and near death.

11. Wild Love by purpledaisy - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1030904

AU: Two best friends try to date each other for forty days. It's supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated.

Me: I loved this way more than I thought I would. It's lovely and messy and I love it.

12. Victorian Boy by audreyhheart - https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosann1986/readings?page=6

Victorian AU. Harry the virgin Duke of Somerset knows little of love, while Louis the sly Duke of Warwick knows too much. When the two dukes come together for the Bilsdale fox hunt in York, Harry finds himself drawn into Louis' bed. But when secrets from Louis' dark past come to light, Harry fears that the fox isn't the only one being hunted.

Me: Historical fiction I didn't intend to love. I LOVE Harry in this one. LOTS of smut, so be warned.

13. Keep Me Closer by zanni_scaramouche - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30752633

Louis expects Harry to react poorly, maybe even file a formal complaint and that’s gonna suck ass but Louis won’t say shit cause he knows he deserves it, so he prepares an apology before Harry’s even turned around.

What he doesn’t expect is Harry to fucking drop.

Me: lovely, protective Louis just trying to do the right thing.

14. Turning Page by purpledaisy for SockstheDog

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11826345

AU: Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been.  Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other.

Me: sweet love story. Niall owns a bar, and is pretty great.

15. Freedom Always Comes With a Price by Cyantific - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30278514/chapters/74624262

A shared dream brings them together onto the X-factor stage, but one decision changes Harry and Louis’ lives overnight. Thrust into a world of instant stardom, they're forced to live a lie to sustain their dreams, but years of living in the shadows and under strict management takes its toll.

With the bands impending hiatus, there’s no better time for change, so they think.

Desperate for a solution, they turn to an unlikely source with a radical plan. An unfortunate accident sets everything in motion, but not how they intended, leaving Louis’ memories altered, Harry broken-hearted and full of regret.

Can Harry figure out a way to fix everything? Will he even want to once he sees how Louis moved on after the hiatus? Will Louis ever find out the truth of their past and can he forgive Harry after all this time?

In the end, two friends find out that memories are elusive, trust is everything and love is the only antidote.

Me: Heartbreaking when they lose each other, but really good in the end.

16. Little Technicolor Things by scary_crow - https://archiveofourown.org/works/6025519/chapters/13821628

Louis is a poor writer and recent university graduate, depressed, anxious, and living in London when he meets Harry, an artist with a secret who likes to paint sunrises and pretty boys from California.

17. Hold You Now by solvetheminourdreams - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30253536/chapters/74556744

Three years ago, Harry Styles said goodbye to communications consultancy firm McQuiston Worldwide, leaving a life of travel and agency PR behind. When he accompanies his best friend to a family wedding across the Atlantic, he'll be forced to reopen old wounds and face his past—one that no one wants to hash out, but may just have to.

Me: Niall is great. They almost miss each other in this one, and you just want to bash them over the head. But they figure it out.

18. At Risk, I Fold by clare328 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/26542480

2015 is a stream of hotel rooms and whisky on the rocks, tired glances and touching hands under tables. It’s the bears and the bees under a rainbow sky, and Harry and Louis have to figure out how to grow up together, instead of apart.

Me: A canon compliant fic that feels like it could have really happened. Set in 2015. Lovely first chapter and scene where Harry writes If I Could Fly--i could read that chapter over and over.

19. Into The Blue by zarah5 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1035822/chapters/2065499

AU. In which Louis is Harry's scuba instructor and quite happy to provide the requested special treatment, pun fully intended. It can't be all that difficult to convince Harry that they're on the same page, right? Also, Niall and Liam may or may not be dating, and Zayn is surrounded by emotionally stunted idiots. He bears it with dignity.

Me: AKA the Scuba fic.

20. Tie Your Heart by ArcadianMaggie - https://archiveofourown.org/works/546688/chapters/973236

Harry grows wings.

Me: How can you not love a fic where Harry grows wings? Trigger warning: injury of a major character.

21. I think I'll end this here. My last and probably first favorite (read it more than once) is...

my heart is breathing for this moment in time by usedtothebeach - https://archiveofourown.org/works/934996/chapters/1820282

When Louis first saw Harry at the 2010 X Factor Auditions, he thought he was watching a peculiarly special stranger. But Harry has known Louis ever since he was five years old.

Because Louis has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to Time Travel to important moments in his past and in his future - and to Harry, always to Harry. When they're put into a band together, it seems like everything Harry has been waiting and wishing for has finally come true. Except for the small fact that Louis doesn't know that Harry is in love with him- that Harry's always been in love with him. Fate, it would seem, is just getting started.

A story about growing up and growing together, and the impossible love that makes it all worthwhile.

Me: I LOVED the Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, and I'm a huge fan of time travel, so this is right up my alley. It's really well done, weaving canon into fantasy and then going years forward in tme. I love everything about it. Great character development. Really good smut. Trigger warning, there's a little underage sex, so be aware. Anyway, LOVE this one so much.

I'll add to this but it's already longer than I meant it to be.

[semper-legens]

65. The Dolphins of Laurentum, by Caroline Lawrence

Owned: Yes Page count: 207 My summary: Times are tough for Flavia and her family. Her father’s ship was wrecked at sea, leaving them bankrupt. To get them out of Ostia, her father sends her and her friends away to their friend Pliny the Younger’s villa - but rumours of treasure in a nearby shipwreck might save them all. But Lupus has other ideas of what to use the treasure for... My rating: 3.5/5

Back into Roman Mysteries, and it’s time for a story about Lupus! The character, not the disease. Throughout the early books, there is an enduring mystery about Lupus and exactly what happened to him. His tongue was cut out, and he was abandoned on the streets of Ostia, but nobody knew why and Lupus wasn’t telling. Well, here’s our opportunity to find out. The thing I’m noticing as I progress through these books is how dark they are for a series aimed at the 8-12 market. It shouldn’t surprise me - I’ve always been drawn to such media - but Lawrence doesn’t really sugarcoat how brutal life in Ancient Rome could be, even for children. We see that with Nubia, whose fate could have been horrible had Flavia not been there, and now we’re getting Lupus’ side of it.

Lupus is the son of a Greek sponge diver, whose mother was lusted after by his uncle, a slave dealer. His uncle killed Lupus’ father, said he killed his mother, cut his tongue out, and abandoned him in Ostia. This explains something of the dual nature of Lupus’ character - he’s seen to be at once a cheeky, mischievous kid (he’s the youngest of the four) but also have this dark core to him. Lupus spends this book trying to get the treasure so he can hire an assassin to kill his uncle. When that fails, he tries to do the job himself. He’s, like, nine. Poor kid. One thing I like about this is how Lawrence walks the balance between this darker material and being appropriate enough for her audience. Ancient Rome was a horrible place to live, and while this series doesn’t go into the gory details of every terrible thing that could happen, it’s still interested in not sanitising this era, which I appreciate.

Meanwhile, back in Pliny the younger’s villa, there’s a love triangle going on. Everyone’s lusting after Jonathan’s sister Miriam, despite the fact that she’s betrothed to Flavia’s uncle Gaius. Not that Gaius is too quick about getting married - understandable, given that he lost his home and farm to the eruption of Vesuvius. This made me a lil uncomfortable when I read it as a kid, and feels even weirder now given that Miriam is 14 and all of her potential suitors are at least five years older. Gaius is in his thirties! Anyway, unlike earlier love triangles centred on Miriam, this one felt a bit like padding; I get it, everyone loves Miriam, she’s the most beautiful woman to ever exist. But I’m not sure how necessary this was.

But yeah, this book’s mostly about revenge, and I really like how it showed Lupus becoming completely absorbed by the idea of revenge while still showing that he’s a kid, he’s not going to be as singlemindedly driven as an adult in his situation. There’s a balance going on in Lupus’ mind between his quest to take his uncle down versus him wanting to just live his life - as represented by the dolphins the kids swim with earlier. And in the end, he kind of gets his revenge. He doesn’t kill his uncle, but his uncle still dies in trying to get the treasure to redeem himself to Lupus, and ends up leaving his ship to Lupus. Lupus is still messed up about it, but he’s more at peace now that his uncle can’t hurt anyone. It’s a little more complex than the straightforward ‘revenge is bad’ message of some kids’ media, which I appreciate.

Next up, still on boats, for some historical fact and the fate of two doomed vessels.

[angel-tries-to-write]

New life from the darkness: Love me when I don’t

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: Teen and up Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Hanji Zoë, Eren Jäger x Mikasa Ackerman, Armin Arlert x Annie Leonhart Word count: 2157 Genre: fluff, humor, comfort

Eren feels down and his friends help him feel better again.

A/N: The choice between helping Erwin or Armin in this universe didn’t involve giving titan serum, because I needed Bertholdt alive. Something else happened, I don’t really care what exactly.

The dinner was quite peaceful that night. Everyone was silent and focused on eating, yet the atmosphere was comfortable and nice, everyone was chill. Alright, not everyone, Eren was the exception. He clearly was lost in thoughts, not really pleasant ones, judging by the way he kept stabbing his food, instead of eating.

“Eren, what's wrong?” Mikasa asked quietly, she was worried about him. When they met earlier that day, he seemed fine, yet suddenly he wasn't.

“Nothing” he answered, almost automatically.

“You don't look like it was nothing.”

“I'm fine, I promise” he looked her in the eyes and forced a smile.

“Oi, stop lying, brat. You look like someone kicked your ass and you spoil the dinner with that grumpy face” Levi spoke and Eren looked at him, his fist clenched with anger.

“Excuse me then, I'll go somewhere I'm not ruining anything” he growled through his gritted teeth, stood up and tried to walk away, but Mikasa's strong grip stopped him.

“Don't go. Finish your dinner” she said calmly.

“I'm not hungry.”

“Eren, what Levi means is that we're worried about you and we can't enjoy our time together knowing something is bothering you” Hanji said, trying to encourage young man to reconsider his actions. “You know that he's not really good with words” they added. Eren looked at Hanji, then at Mikasa, and sat down. “Good, can we talk about it now?”

“I don't feel like talking about it. There's no point anyway” he replied quietly. “We've already talked about it, Hanji-san, and I don't feel much better. I don't feel like a good kid.”

“I thought I made myself clear the first time: actions mean more than intentions” Hanji stated firmly. “Stop blaming yourself.”

“Care to fill us in?” Levi raised his eyebrow.

“Eren thinks we hate him for what he tried to do. Well, not Mikasa and Armin, but everyone else” they sighed. “And I don't know what to say to make him believe we actually care about him.”

“Oh? So you think you mean nothing to us and we've come this far to help you, only to prove that you're nothing but a dumb weapon, someone so useless that we don't have to pretend we actually need you?” Levi asked with his low, calm voice and Eren winced, unable to look him in the eye, his words were painfully true, that was exactly how the young man felt. “I know that feeling. When I first joined Survey Corps, I was perceived as nothing more than a weapon. I know Erwin needed me only to fight, I was disposable to him at that moment. Maybe it never changed, he just was good at hiding it. And honestly, if it wasn't for some four-eyed, annoying freak, I might have never come where I am today” he confessed.

“Awww, Leviiiii, that's so sweet” Hanji interrupted, looking at him with affection.

“But even the person you trust the most can disagree with you at some point. When we faced the decision whether we should help Erwin or Armin, Hanji had a very different opinion than me. We even had a fight about it. Do I regret my decision? Maybe, but that's my problem and my burden to live with. The point is that Hanji heavily disagreed with me, but not even once left my side. They were always where I needed them. And what I'm trying to say is that sometimes we can't accept what someone we care about is doing. Sometimes we can't agree with them. But it doesn't mean we stop caring about them. So just because you tried to do things we strongly oppose, it doesn't mean we hate you” Levi concluded, looking at Eren, who lifted his eyes sheepishly, seeking confirmation of these words in the rest of his friends.

“Is this really what you're thinking?” he asked quietly.

“You already know my opinion” Jean shrugged. “You're a huge jerk and an idiot. But you're our idiot and if we ever again have any chance to save your sorry ass, we'll gladly go for it.”

“We've been friends for too long to let a few mistakes ruin this relationship” Connie added. “I'm cool with you, no hard feelings.”

“You are an idiot indeed. But Armin trusts you with his life and if he can do that, then I guess I can try as well” Annie admitted.

“Honestly, we all trust each other with our lives. Even you” Jean pointed out. “You were a traitor, you did a lot of terrible things, but that's the past. If I had to fight by your side now, I could totally trust you to cover me and have my back.”

“I agree with Jean” Sasha announced, stopping eating only to say these words.

“Same” Connie agreed and Mikasa just nodded.

“Y-you trust me?” Annie asked shocked, her cheeks blushed and she hid her face behind her hair.

“Of course we do” Armin smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. “You've changed and redeemed your mistakes. I don't see why we wouldn't trust you” he looked at her with obvious love in his eyes.

“Despite all that I did?” she asked, looking at Jean.

“I thought what I said was clear for the first time” he answered. “I personally can't forgive you or forget what you did and pretend nothing happened. But I can trust you, because since you're back, you've never did anything like that, you even helped us. Besides the others forgave you and I trust their judgement. We won't be best friends, but I can keep it civil.”

“Well said, Jean” Levi agreed with him. “I find it difficult to forget the past, but it doesn't mean I can't believe in you, Annie” he said and only Hanji knew how much it meant. The Female Titan murdered his squad, Petra, Oluo, Gunther and Eld were dead because of her and Levi couldn't simply accept that and pretend it was nothing. But just like Jean, he was willing to keep it down.

Suddenly Eren started to laugh. First he just chuckled, then fully laughed, even a little maniacally, finally he stopped and pressed his sleeve against his eyes. No one seemed surprised, they got used to it. He reacted this way to stress and emotional overwhelming. Mikasa pulled him close and hugged, leaning his head on her shoulder and hiding his face in the crook of her neck. She could feel him tremble with overwhelming emotions as he did his best to hide his crying.

“It's alright, Eren. It's alright. See? I told you they don't hate you. If we could forgive Annie, Bertholdt and Reiner, we can easily forgive you” she assured him, caressing his back and hair. “I know you're not used to care and affection from other people, at least other than me or Armin, but I promise you it's true. You mean a lot to all of us.”

“You are family. Sometimes the only one some of us have left” Hanji smiled, trying to reassure him about their point. Eren let go of Mikasa, his eyes were still glossy and her shoulder was a little wet with his tears, but no one commented it.

“Thank you, guys. You have no idea how much does it mean to me. I thought my fate was doomed and if I pushed you all away, it would be easier to do what had to be done. But you were so stubborn, you didn't let me do any of it and I'm forever thankful for that, because you saved me and the world from myself. I'll never thank you enough for that.”

“You can thank us by settling down and living happily ever after” Armin answered, patting his best friend's back.

“That can be arranged” Eren said, looking at Mikasa, who hid her face in her scarf. “But seriously, thank you. All of you.”

“Can we finish the dinner in peace? Without tearing up and being disgustingly kind?” Levi asked with irritation.

“Especially thank you, Captain—”

“Levi.”

Everyone looked at their captain with shock, even Hanji was surprised.

“What?”

“I've been thinking about it for a while and I decided that we're not really in military anymore. You don't have to call me "captain" then. Just "Levi" is fine” he explained his thoughts.

“Levi, that's... very kind of you” Hanji smiled with affection.

“Tch. Don't test my patience, four-eyes.”

“I love you too” they laughed.

“Please, get a room” Armin whined.

“But they are cute” Sasha protested.

“Enough!”

“Sorry.”

Eren smiled, looking at his friends — his family. He didn't doubt them anymore, this one dinner was enough to learn they loved him as much as he loved them. He wrapped his arm around Mikasa's waist and she covered his hand with hers, smiling lovingly at him. And to think he could lose all of it because of this stupid ideology he believed in... He didn't even want to think what would happen if he didn't have these people in his life. Fortunately he did and he was forever grateful for that.

“By the way, Armin, how was your date?” Jean asked, said man blushed with nervousness. Eren looked at his best friend with betrayal written all over his face. How did Jean knew something about his best friend that even he didn't know?

“Ah, so you took my advice?” Levi looked at him too, with amusement, while Hanji looked disappointed.

“I did. You were right, cap— I mean, Levi-sama. I should have done it a long time ago” Armin admitted. “We wasted so much time, fearing what if our feelings aren't mutual, only to find out they were, from the very beginning” he smiled affectionately at his girlfriend.

“Leviiii!”

“What do you want, four eyes?”

“You've ruined our fun! Me and Eren were supposed to take revenge on Armin for calling us out about our feelings, while being a coward himself” Hanji explained with a pout.

“Grow up” Levi rolled his eyes. “Shouldn't you be happy and proud, like you always are?”

“Oh, I'm thrilled, believe me. But I'm also disappointed that we won't have our fun” they answered, clearly having mixed feelings about it.

“Uhh... I'm sorry?” Armin said sheepishly, not quite sure what did they expect.

“No, don't be. It's fine” they waved their hand, emphasizing that it was no big deal. “I'm actually glad that I won't have to put any effort into it, because you did everything on your own. I'm even proud of you, I didn't expect it's possible without drastic measures.”

“Why don't you believe in him?” Annie spoke up. “Armin is capable of doing anything he wants.”

“Please, you've been in love for years and none of you said a word” Mikasa deadpanned. “We do believe in Armin, but we're just being realistic. None of us is particularly good at talking about feelings” as usual, she was speaking facts.

“Can't argue with that” Annie admitted, recognizing Mikasa's point.

“I have a different question. How and why did Jean know about it and I didn't?” Eren asked, he on the other hand couldn't get over it as easily as Hanji.

“Oh, I was so distracted after talking to Annie, that I nearly collided with Jean, so I told him the reason of my distraction. I would tell you, I swear, but you were working with Hanji-san and before you came back, we already left. Besides, you didn't tell me you were dating Mikasa at first too. I had to find out the hard way” Armin explained, reminding his best friend that he wasn't innocent either.

“Armin, you and her literally made me give up on everything I believed in and come back to you by telling me how much she loves me. Don't play dumb and act like it wasn't obvious” Eren stared at him, not believing in what he'd just heard.

“Alright. You have a point. It wasn't obvious to me, but I can't disagree with your logic” he admitted, realizing his mistake.

“Wait, but since you are together, let's call it officially, does it mean none of us has to hide anymore?” Eren looked at Hanji, who narrowed their eyes in a warning sign. Their deal wasn't valid anymore, but it didn't mean they wouldn't want to murder him if he said a word about them and Levi.

“It's not like you were particularly discreet” Jean pointed out. “But it would be nice if you kept your pda down.”

“Oh, don't worry, I'll make sure of it” Mikasa stated.

“You'd better. Otherwise I'll have to use drastic measures” Levi said and Mikasa narrowed her eyes.

“You know I'm not afraid of you. Especially now. What drastic measures you can possibly use?” she asked daringly, but he only smirked.

“Hanji.”

“Fair enough” she admitted, knowing well that while Levi might have been humanity's strongest, it was his partner who should had been feared, in fact.

[writing-frenzy]

I Wouldn’t Risk It (SVSSS Fic)

Summery: In which one annoyed Shang Huan does not know why he puts up with a certain Demonic Cultivator- “I owe you.” ah, that’s right.

Warning: some Violence and blood, and cursing. All good things to be found in svsss canon~

(In which @hamelin-born is a terrible, wonderful enabler, thus this is how it came about.)

EDIT: Part of Wager verse, first Part HERE

----

“Welcome to- oh wait it’s you.” Shang Huan started to greet some incoming customers, only to give the pair that came in a flat look instead.

“Greetings Uncle Shang!” Cao Mei, an actually adorable raven haired girl, her purple eyes so dark one could almost think they were black if it weren’t for certain lighting here and there. Puberty was obviously treating her well, seeing she must have been 19 at least, was developing some curves, her baby fat also finally melted off. But despite this, Shang Huan was unmoved, as for one, he wasn’t a fucking pedo, and two, he could easily see that same matching intelligence and calculation she inherited from her grandfather’s own dark purple eyes.

As expected of Wife #45; not only a knock out beauty in the making, but even had more IQ points then most, along with a more developed character and backstory then a lot of his later wife plots.

Though, he could admit he was taken off guard with her story then most; the cause of that being one certain person-

“I see the place hasn’t burnt down yet; congratulations for that.” was huffed by said anomaly, making Shang Huan focus his deadpan face on the other.

“Thanks, my kitchen staff is always trying though.” and no sooner were the words spoken, then what sounded like multiple firecrackers going off in said kitchen... He could even swear he saw what looked like a blue firework of a bird fly out from there, before one of his handy golems ate it as it passed...

Closing his eyes, Shang Huan counted to three, before opening them once more; he would never be able to count as high as he really wanted, but time was rarely on his side, so three it was. Hazel eyes once more opening, Shang Huan was able to look at a source of many headaches, one Dark Poison Sect Leader, Cao Xiaowen, a true doting grandfather who still looked like he was only in his late 20s, his blood red hair peppered with black from all the resentful energy surrounding him, and greys from stress of life actually catching up with him.

And a character that was never in Proud Immortal Demon Way, but yet again from one of his other stories; a Demonic Sect Leader that had just been a random background character, just to flesh out that world a bit more. He had only named because while he could get away without naming the Sect the guy made, it wouldn’t make sense to have Cao Xiaowen be nameless, seeing as he had bullshited a whole bunch of techniques this infamous and well known demonic cultivator was supposed to have made...

Making a face at that smiling face before him, Shang Huan felt some regrets; just some more to add to his pile stashed in his closet and under his floorboards, but what can one do? Especially with a story that seems to make sure he can never forget any of them, always seeming to push willing to push cheery, willful mistakes into his face.

i.e. the Demonic Sect Leader before him.

But then again, to see these two characters, Cao Xiaowen and Cao Mei connect here, in this living world of PIDW and other mash ups, was honestly rather amazing, just with Demonic Cultivation and the same last names... It was as fascinating as it was paranoia inducing. Cao Mei had been just another revenge wife plot, the young woman wanting vengeance against her Mother for killing her loved family members along with trying to kill her... as well as to save her young baby brother, who their Mother was trying to mold into her perfect image of Sect Leader. The girl had only been able to survive for as long as she did because one of her dying relatives had sacrificed themselves, turning themselves into her Spirit Familiar and protecting her...

.... And as for Cao Xiaowen, when he had mentioned how he went down in his end in his own story verse, Airplane had only said that it was due to betrayal and sacrifice, that being the only ending he gave the character...

(How many other fucking throwaway lines does he have to worry about ohmygodwhyisthishislife-)  

“...So, why do you choose now to darken my doorway?” Shang Huan asked, the unspoken ‘I-know-you-hate-this-place-much-less-willing-to-bring-your-beloved-granddaughter-with-you.’ not said, but easily heard.

“... You would be glad to know, but I must now introduce you to Sect Leader of the Dark Poison Sect, Cao Meihui.” Cao Xiaowen introduced as he motioned to the young girl. Shang Huan stared for but a moment before closing his eyes once more, even as whispers broke out all around them in his place, from the gambling tables to even the bar and restaurant.

This time he allowed himself to count to 10, as a treat.

“Follow me this way, Elder Cao, Sect Leader Cao.” and with a simple hand motion, a few of his workers already getting things done, the Ruby Room already to entertain his ‘guests’. It didn’t take to long after all, with his standards and staff precision, but he needed to make sure there was nothing to spy on in this conversation.

Because oh, does he have a lot to say right now.

Once the door was closed and all the silences spells and talismans in place, Shang Huan rounded on the now sitting pair, letting his hands slam on the service table before him.

“Can you not?!” Shang Huan seethed, even as Cao Xiaowen grinned, his heir now leader beside him shifting ever so slightly beside him, smartly making some space between them.

“Why, Shang Huan, what ever do you mean?”

“You politic in my place again and I will make sure to show the world just how much I can beat you into the ground.” was practically growled, Cao Xiaowen smartly raising his hands in surrender as he did. “Why the hell did you even need to do that, didn’t you already get the stalker bitch killed and dispersed last year? I distinctly remember being there for the mad ramblings.” 

-Urgh- he never wanted that much TMI into someone’s deluded sexual fantasies, especially rounding around this who-me? Demonic Cultivator! Body stealing and marrying the guy’s son just to get a possible chance at him, and then killing him and half his family when she still couldn’t get what she wanted to spite him?

Shang Huan doesn’t move, but that still doesn’t mean he’s not fighting a shiver of repulsion at the thought. Seeing the way Cao Xiaowen grimaced at the reminder, Shang Huan was actually starting to feel in a better mood. 

“While she and most of her supporters are now gone, traces of those who still hold sympathies for her and her ideals still remain.” the man scowled, even as he took out a small sachet, handing the small plain back over as he did.

Hmmm, spicy roasted melon seeds; say what you will about the man, he did know his bribes at least.

“They’re also trying to push my little didi to be the next Sect Leader, even though he never wanted it in the first place!” Cao Meihui scowled in turn, taking out a beautiful, yet still deadly battle fan to fan herself. “Really, he has suffered enough under that woman’s ‘care’, he should be able to choose however he wishes to live in life!”

Shang Huan doesn’t even wince at those words, even as he thinks on the poor fate of canon fodder Cao Yun, a young boy desperate to leave his harsh home circumstances, even joining a certain Righteous Sect set to be doomed and destroyed, loosing his home once again and setting him in turn on a doomed quest to stop Luo Binghe...

Well, considering the boy had left home at 15, and had only just turned that this year, maybe that path could be prevented; there were still plenty of other Sects still up and running when his protagonist came into power, maybe he could join one of those?

Still though, maybe he should give the kid a transportation talisman for his birthday; you can never have too many of those after all.

“That still does not explain why you had to announce Young Mei right in front of my store.”

“Please, it’s the perfect place too; not many completely neutral places around anymore, what with Hua Hua Palace trying to police everyone and dragging the other Righteous Sects into it... Speaking of which, they haven’t bothered you after last time, have they?” Cao Xiaowen asks, with what looks like could be actual concern in his eyes.... Ha-

“I’m pretty sure they won’t forget my warding anytime soon; not to mention the rest of the towns folk’s farewells.” Shang Huan replies dryly, remembering just how all those golden pricks were beautifully thrown from his store, some of his staff even joining in on the beatdown the protection brought forth. If he remembers right, it soon became a whole town wide event to run them all out. 

And when you have a whole town seemingly a melting pot filled with Spiritual beings, humans, and demons, they definitely are going to have their wounds to lick.

“But again, my place is, as you said Neutral; so why are you bringing in politics here? Announcements of a new Sect Leader should be only at official events or places that one is already allied with after all.” The Owner of the Gilded Plane asks lightly, those hazel eyes taking on a deadly touch, like molten liquid gold is taking over bronze, a sunset of colors being the last of the sky you will ever see, easily to see it all reflected in the blade at his side.

(Ah, how terrifying, seeing the threat of Fortune’s Favored all out to bare, Dujin Xue at his side, the spirit weapon willing and bloodthirsty to take out any threat to its master.)

For a moment, all is silent, before finally, the red haired cultivator takes from his sleeves, a few boxes simple in their decorations and yet obviously of the finest Jade.

“I almost forgot; I have with me some of the finest of Blight and Poison Talismans with me, not to mention my newest creations; a Pipa made with Blood Drain White Wood and using heart strings of an abyssal creature, painted with curse residue.” Cao Xiaowen motions to an opened box with said black and purple instrument with white accents, truly a work of art and power, even unbound as it is, no master to really work those deadly strings just yet.

Another box is soon opened as well, revealing a twin pair of daggers, their blades white with a beautiful red handle for a hilt. “Not to mention these Ancient Necromancer’s Bone Daggers, recently uncovered in an old tomb, plenty of resentful energy and dark desires just waiting to be unveiled in any upcoming battle, madness in but a cut to be delivered...” the former Sect Leader says, a bit of sweat coming from his brow, those dark eyes uneasy even as he hides behind his bluster and charm. His granddaughter, Cao Meihui watches intently, her own dark eyes worried even as she is awed by her beloved grandfather’s work, and the man who can make him so nervous. 

The one Fortune’s Favored watches and listens, and waits, even as he is showcased all the wares most people would die to get their hands on, each item worth more then most lives to some.

“... I will give you a warning and you will be Marked for it; there will be no next time if you try and pull this stunt again, you hear me Xiaowen?” Shang Huan allows, eyes turning back into that warm and soft hazel, even as he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he does. Well, at least he now has more good things in store for his gambling patrons, who will no doubt go crazy for these goods.

(Never noticing how the familial pair relax, a breath of relief taken for their own that this gambit actually worked, even if they are now Marked by all the staff.

Best behavior is a must for now at least.) 

-----+----- 

~15 Years ago~

Cao Xiaowen, once just regular Cao Xiao, was a man most would never dare cross; as a Demonic Cultivator, you wouldn’t even be able to escape through death. He had cultivated carefully along his chosen path, having no talent for what was Righteous roads, so turned down to darker paths and alleys to get what he wanted. He had been smart about it, and equally talented for Demonic Cultivation, becoming a Bounty Hunter to be able to hide just what practices he used.

Not only did it get him much needed gold, but the resentful energy and blood of the wicked were quiet useful on his path. Unlike other Demonic Cultivators that sought to take in the energies as fast as possible to form their Obsidian Cores, killing innocents, and eventually needing Cauldrons in the end to balance themselves and to go farther in their Cultivation, Cao Xiaowen went for a more steadfast pace.

He first started with crafting items of Resentful energy, talismans and amulets to get a better feel for the delicacies of the energy he chose to work with. With time and effort, along with plenty of meditation and blood on his hands, he found a cultivation path that suited him rather well, untraditional as it was for the usual brutal force most Demonic Cultivators usually went. His path was like a slow acting poison, letting the wicked energies ever so carefully, ever so gently gather into his meridians, building up a steady foundation before he ever focused on building his Core.

And the results for it were astounding; when compared to traditional Demonic Cultivators, not only could Cao Xiaowen hold his own with those stages above his own, he could beat even those whose Cultivation that was said to be an entire level above him. Not to mention just how devastating his spells and attacks were against those of the Righteous Sects.

It was no surprise that when he founded his own Sect, he had plenty of disciples to chose and pick from...But he wasn’t stupid.

He knew he had plenty of enemies all around him, some just jealous of his power, others hateful of just how he got it, being a Demonic Cultivator was a sin for some even if he only went after criminals. That he was a rather attractive even as his red hair was peppered black and grey, and even a few tigers acting like pigs to be fatten all came for him in the end. He knows people were waiting in the shadows, eager to take him down and steal everything he worked for, salivating over his abilities and life work...

Though despite it all, he never expected the betrayal to come so close to home.

“P-papa.” was stuttered out by his honestly rather adorable Granddaughter, the young four year old sobbing as she reached for him; his daughter in law smiling all the while even as she held one of his crafted knives to the little girl’s throat. He had to give it to her, not many women could still look so devastatingly beautiful, covered as they were in their husband’s blood. He never expected the raven haired woman to be so ruthless, honestly sure the woman loved his son.

Looks like he still has errors in his judgement, even at his age; taken off guard on what he though would be a simple material gathering mission, only to be crippled and threatened by a woman he thought he could trust even as she slit his beloved child’s throat before his eyes.

“You really shouldn’t have refused me all those years ago; this all could have been avoided if you had just agreed to be mine... oh well, too late for regrets.” The woman mourns softly, making Cao Xiaowen feel his brow crinkle, dark eyes confused.

But trying to parse the words of the mad woman was not something he had time for, seeing as his lovely little granddaughter was suddenly in his arms, the both of them finding themselves being pushed off a cliff, and into the Broken Jaw Ravine.

Using what remained of his spiritual energy in his blighted Obsidian Core, Cao Xiaowen was fully prepared to become his dear granddaughter’s Familiar Spirit to protect her...

When in the end, it turned out unnecessary; they ended up landing in a Spirit Capture Net. And judging by the pure color and Qi he could feel running through it, a high quality one at that. Feeling how it blocked him from using any of his spiritual energy and Qi, he looked to his darling dear grandchild, the (forcibly) retired Sect Leader couldn’t help but feel so relieved to see her shaken, but well at least in body.

And then he heard the cursing.

“What in the fuck you soggy old vulture of a corpse! Curses on your fucking clothing to never be nice and pristine, to always stub your toe on the corner, to be miserable even when you have your favorite food! Do you know how long it took to make that net?! Could you have fallen somewhere else? No, of course the skies would decide to shit on me with some young man in my beautifully crafted net! Probably jumped off for the heck of it knowing how fucking dumb most Demonic Cultivators are! ARRRHGGGG YOU DAMN WALNUT!” was practically ranted below them, a young brunet man yelling up at him, who couldn’t be more then in his 20′s. (Though rather impressively at the Peak of Core Formation from what he could sense.)

As it was, two pairs of dark eyes could only give the ranting rouge a wide eyed stare, even when, in the end, the young man let them down, hazel eyes narrowed in on them. He raised one brow at his child that was with him, but easily narrowed them back onto Cao Xiaowen’s own.

Ah, he could probably sense his power (use his weakness).

“So, this is how it is going to go down. I’ll help heal you and your kid, won’t even leave her in debt... tho your ass is mine; I say jump, you better do it and ask if this is high enough. You will owe me till the end of your day and then some, and in return I will benevolently help you out. You agree or should I leave you and the kid here for any unpleasant fates?” was the rather grumpy, if smartly given offer, Cao Xiaowen finding he can’t help but respect it, even as crudely as it was put. Looking down to his innocent little Cao Mei, the grandfather could only nod at the offer, no other recourse that could ensure his little gem a better chance at life.

And thus marked the first meeting between the terrible and powerful Dark Poison Sect Leader Cao Xiaowen, and the Rogue Cultivator Shang Huan, who would one day have a title even greater then his own.

Amazing really, how some things start (and others end).

-----

:D Here we are, another story from this verse; it was really fun! (even if I actually had to create a damn timeline to make sure everything was straight TTxTT)

Anyways, here is an ally of Airplane! Their relationship can be described as.

Shang Huan: Why do I put up with you again?

Cao Xiaowen: Because I have the best gifts bitch. *Inwardly sweaty*

But Also-

Cao Xiaowen: So... Demonic Cultivating involves a lot of... Dual Cultivating huh... And are those innocents being brutally murdered over there?

Rando: Yeah, ain’t it great? :D

Cao Xiaowen: ... *proceeds to make a cultivation path that involves as little Dual Cultivation as needed while also being one of the nicest ironically* Ah, that is better, better get more wicked blood~

These two were really fun to write together, and with PIDW, I can make as many ocs as I want~ So much to do, so much to play with~

Oh yeah, Shang Hua’s blade, Dujin Xue means Gilded Blood :3

Cao I picked for being a common last name, while Xiaowen means red skies. Mei means red gem, but for Meihui I liked the meaning of monstrous/demonic beauty~ As you can see, I had fun~ 

[sapphicambitions]

like when I say I think Luke Castellan is gay I don’t mean it as a cutesy “don’t u wish ur fave was gay” kind of way I mean textually and seriously I believe he was gay. 

I could cite the petty stuff like “he only had female friends growing up” and “he clearly never showed interest in women even though many women were interested in him” or “he is one of the few people in the series who didn’t actually have a serious love interest / partner” or whatever but i feel like it’s actually much deeper than that. Luke was a young person who had a difficult and strained relationship with his parents. He saw how flawed the system was and how it was treating people like him, and sought to change the system, give power to people like him, and start it all over. (Yeah, he fell victim to people who influenced him to the dark side but that had nothing to do with his gayness, imo.) He just reminds me a lot of characters like Nico and Catra from She-Ra: repressed gay with a strained relationship with parental figures, angry and willing to take down the world. In this essay I will-

.......like no but seriously

Luke had a very troubled childhood because of his mother’s damaged mind, and the fact that she was constantly having fits and telling him how terrible things were going to be for him. When Luke is (angrily) describing his childhood to Hermes he says: “You could’ve helped me when she was having one of her fits, shaking me and saying crazy things about my fate. When I used to hide in the closet so she wouldn’t find me with those glowing eyes,” like!!! he even mentions hiding in a closet (let me find the subtext where i want it)  but seriously, you know what’s one of the first things my mother said to me when I came out to her? “You know how much harder your life is going to be, don’t you?” So then Luke ran away from his home and found a new family, one that looked out for each other and loved each other more than their blood family ever did. This is a queer narrative!!

And with Hermes, it was all sorts of fucked up. His father kept him at a distance. Made Luke feel like there was something wrong with him, like he didn’t love him. His dad made it very clear to him what his expectations were of him, tried to encourage him to be a great hero, like all the heroes before him (when he was talking to him about sending him on a quest and Hermes said “You will get a change to be a great hero before…”) but Luke didn’t want to be the person his father expected him to be. He wanted to be something new, something true to himself. Luke was always burdened down with the weight of his parent’s expectations, both the expectation that he should strive to be a perfect hero and the knowledge that his future was doomed. 

So one time i was at a bar with friends and me and the only other queer person there were talking and he was like “gay men and their dads, you know what i mean?” and I was like “yeah also gay women and their moms” and we had a whole discussion about growing up with a certain set of expectations of who you’ll be from your parents and the gendered expectations they have for you and having to crush all of that when you come out to them and navigating the difficulties that come with that when you want to be your own person so like there’s your real world comparison / evidence for that argument

ALSO Luke ran away from home but then kind of immediately went to Camp Half-Blood where he was shoved into the Hermes cabin with all of his siblings and undetermined kids and then still expected to scrape part of his food in the fire and be thankful to his deadbeat dad. That would suck! He was already harboring all of this rage inside of him, and then he went on his quest. Saw the world. Was exposed to other schools of thought. He understood that he was just being used as a pawn. He came back a different person, he didn’t quite fit in at camp anymore now that he’d seen the world. Kind of like when I went off to be gay at college and then came back to my childhood home and had to be straight around all my high school friends. just saying.

Luke saw the flaws in the system, the way the gods ruled the world. The way the gods treated their children and how much it hurt them. He felt so betrayed and hurt and abandoned by his dad and all the gods, so instead of sitting with it, he thought “I can do better.” Luke sought to rebuild the world, scrap it all and start new. Start with new leaders who took better care of everyone, who did things completely differently than the way it was done before, and raze anything before it. We’re going to ignore the fact that he was influenced to the dark side for a moment because it’s not related to this essay, but I also feel like this is a very queer narrative. (how many times can i say that phrase in this essay) Seeing the flaws in the way the world is treating people like you and wanting to do better. Luke said (this not an actual book quote more of a dramatic sentiment): “I won’t be used and I won’t be who you want me to be. I will become my own person and there’s nothing you can fucking do to stop me. I will make a new world, better than before, without you, for people like me, and I will tear down the walls of the previous world if I fucking have to” and i just think that’s very gay rights of him.

A thing that I’m a big fan of is seeing specific character types and relating them to each other. For example: our fave Nico di Angelo and Catra from She-Ra. (If you haven’t seen She-Ra, she’s the DEFINITION of an angry repressing gay) We can see from Nico’s narrative and from Catra’s narrative and also just straight up my own personal narrative that sometimes when you’re gay and repressing and afraid of becoming the person you are warned against, while also knowing that you were meant for more but maybe not quite understanding what that more is yet, and overall just want to feel accepted and loved as who you truly are but not receiving that, it can tend to make one lash out in angry and irresponsible ways. It can make one isolate themselves from those they previously were close to. It can lead to irrational and impulsive choices for all the wrong reasons because you don’t feel right and you don’t know why. Not at all saying this is the same across the board for queer people, it’s just something that honestly happens to some people and I can relate to when i see it in characters. 

I see that in Luke. He is weighed down by everything his parents want him to be, both good and bad, and is trying to scrap the world and make a new one for people like him. He wants to take his turn, pushing aside anyone who’s hurt him. Luke was someone who was constantly being torn apart by the world and just wanted to feel safe and secure in who he was and the world he was in. He was acting in anger and fear and hurt and revenge for his childhood and because he still felt like there wasn’t a place in the world for him. He lashed out against his father and his family and his friends and pushed them all away. Sure, he had some friends at Camp Half-Blood, but Annabeth’s devotion to him was not enough to make up for like, all of his childhood trauma. First everything with his mom and then being on the run for so long and then meeting his dad and then losing Thalia (which also fueled his anger and hatred of the gods but like we knew that) and his quest and just everything. He was dealt a cruel hand and he didn’t handle it well. Not that that has anything to do with him being gay but I’m just lamenting over the tragedy of his life. Anyway.

Also not to quote the Lighting Thief because it’s not technically in Rick’s canon but i still think they perfectly understood the characters so I’m including it, but the idea that Luke has tried to be a good kid, he’s tried to do what was expected of him, he’s done everything they ever asked of him, but it didn’t pay off. It didn’t matter. It still wasn’t a world he belonged in. “you know this world will never be ours as long as our parents rule over the stars” and “it’s time to make the world our own” strikes me very much to the tune of LGBT activism. once again ringing in that idea of “if you won’t make the world better than i will do it with my bare hands” he also sings “the gods were never on our side, so i think it’s time we watched them fall” which gets to me every time because like he was just a kid! he was just a kid who had so much hurt and anger inside of him and he went about everything the wrong way but he was just a fucking kid! 

also YES to be petty and shallow but while Annabeth and Thalia refer to luke romantically, he never mentioned the same for him. Kelli the sexy monster hits on him during Battle of the Labyrinth and was clearly interested in him and he pushes her away without any hesitation. IN FACT the only demigods referenced on Luke’s ship are Chris and Ethan (why we didn’t see any of that trio, I’ll never understand), with Ethan working much closer with Luke and being a major player in the Titan War. (also I think Ethan is queer too but that’s a battle for another day.) And Rick LOVES romances. pretty much every character gets paired up with someone in the original series (percy and annabeth, grover and juniper, even Clarisse and Chris) which is fab thank u rick for my percabeth rights but Luke is the only character who does not get a girlfriend!! because he’s a homosexual!!!! you know what other character didn’t get paired off in the original series??? NICO, a known homo!!!  i do think that luke is a case of “accidentally written homo” because this was before rick saved the world and gave us nico’s coming out and really started pushing for queer rep in the books (thank u again rick!!!!), so I’m allowed to find my gay subtext in the original series, thank u very much!

listen all im saying is that my favorite character narrative is “angry gay coded villain who is repressing and lashing out at the world because of it” and i truly believe luke fits into that narrative and I stand by my argument.

Thank u for attending my TED Talk

[ask-the-crimson-king]

Tales from D&D: Ket-Ket the Kenku

[Hello you beautiful bastards and bitches. I have a new saga to tell. 

AND this is related to 40k! Who would’ve thunk it, huh?

Anyway. This is about my character, Ket-Ket the Kenku. He is a “sorcerer” [Chronurgy Wizard because wizards > sorcerers fight me] of the Thousand Sons who was a part of a botched ritual, and thus lost a good portion of his psychic talents and is now slowly relearning them. 

Thanks to Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything, I was able to have him take a feat, which is the Telepathy feat. So he mimics everything around him, and he still has some telepathic skill/communication with others.

ALSO: IF YOU ARE MOCHI OR GAL, DON’T READ THIS! SPOILERS!

So this campaign is a 40k campaign for D&D 5e, with some homebrew alterations of course. And the party is all gathering for various reasons to meet with Ezekyle Abbadon himself. 

And let me tell you, Ket-Ket gives 0 shits that he is the “Warmaster”. 0. None. Magnus also doesn’t respect him very much. And so Ket-Ket, who is armed only with spells and a staff (walking with bird legs is hard to get used to), has used said staff to thwack Abbadon.

Many. Many times.

In fact, when they first met face-to-face, Abbadon didn’t want to read a note. So Ket-Ket telepathically asked why. With a natural 20 to Persuasion, Abbadon admitted, in VERY botched Prosperine, that he didn’t learn to read. He’s dyslexic. So what does this 5′ tall fuckin birdboi do?

Mimicks precisely what he said, in his exact tone, volume, everything, and then just says, 

+Your accent is terrible. Please work on it before you speak my native tongue again.+

He just. Does not care. And Abbadon was getting angry, and decided to test the party.

Forgot to mention; Ket-Ket is level 1 at this point. So. 10 hit points. Against Abbadon. Yeah. Uh. He didn’t die. He was actually pretty useful. 

Later on, after some pit fighting (and a level up!), Abbadon reveals that he has 2 kids in his care: one who is a shard of Horus Lupercal’s soul, and another who is a partial clone of Abbadon. Abby then says to the party that he wants them to let the partial clone (named Lunaer) to accompany them and learn about being an Astartes.

So we do so, going off to find our temporary quarters within the Spirit, and suddenly Lunaer complains of chest pain and collapses.

So apparently Lunaer has holes in his hearts that are worsening and cannot be cured by any means. Using Ket-Ket’s neat Warpsight-Investigation roll, he’s able to see that Lunaer has a botched soul, and that the Emperor has dug his claws into the kid. Fucking. Fantastic. 

Summoning a disk of Tzeentch, he moves Lunaer onto it once his surgery is over, and then storms off to go find Khayon in the library. The Iron Warrior in the party, Tabar, takes Lunaer to go look at the books while Ket-Ket RIPS into Khayon for being a complete fucking dumbass and NOT looking into why this kid got his soul fucking ganked.

Cause y’know. A fractured soul. Does it remind anyone of anything. Especially concerning the THOUSAND SONS. 

Yeah Ket-Ket basically equated what was happening/going to happen with Lunaer to what happened to Magnus with his soul shard on Sortiarius because Khayon was being stupid and was like “well it’s only the soul so his mind should be fine” and Ket-Ket fucking thwacked him and was like “THE SOUL AND THE MIND ARE LINKED, IDIOT. DO YOU NOT REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR FATHER?” 

Not in those precise terms (his psychic speech is well spoken, his mimicked speech... not so much) but you get the point.

Khayon spits out what Ket-Ket wants to learn (thanks to Ashur-Kai being like ‘tell him already’) and it’s essentially Abbadon’s fault because he’s like “Oh Lunaer is perfect, there is NOTHING wrong with him.” SO now Ket-Ket is pissed at ABBADON too. After a couple more thwacks and more ranting about “YOU ARE A THOUSAND SON. It is our fucking DUTY to investigate matters like this and improve the lives of many. I can see why the Rubric failed,” he finally calms down once Falkus Kibre appears from behind a book case.

Ket-Ket exchanges words, then leaves to go attune to a fancy ring he got and to cast Find Familiar to summon Kazakh. (Which, if anyone does want Kazakh’s D&D statblock, just hit me up)

The following day, Abbadon summons him to the Strategium promising answers. He wants the birb to come alone. 

Ket-Ket comes in and says “Hello. Neglectful Dadbaddon.” (That was said in three different voices; Kazakh, Khayon, and Lunaer respectively)

Abby starts asking shit like “Do you feel among brothers here?” to which Ket-Ket is like “Pfft no. My Legion is my home.” And then he asks about fears and shit and then Ket-Ket says:

Abby keeps dancing around the issue, so Ket-Ket straight up tells him, “Look if you don’t give me answers, I’m leaving, and the kid is coming with me. We’re going to Sortiarius to have people who know what the fuck they’re doing actually take care of him.”

AND after some more bantering (and the appearance of Warp-blob Horus), Abby says this:

And Ket-Ket. Goes. OFF.

TL:DR, Ket-Ket says “BITCH WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ‘I DON’T NEGLECT LUNAER’??? You refuse to acknowledge that there is anything wrong when there so fucking obviously is, you did NOT have your BEST PSYKERS LOOK INTO WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HIS SOUL, and you’re trying to talk like you know what the fuck is going on. You know nothing, bitch. Shut up.”

Blob-Horus responds with “then what would you suggest should happen to fix him” and Ket-Ket is like “MAGNUS THE RED. HE EXISTS. MY ENTIRE LEGION EXISTS. ME. US. USE THE THOUSAND SONS. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON.” with some added “you’re fucking dooming this child you actual moron.”

Then Abby says “I’m trying to save him” and Ket-Ket is like “How? How? By just ignoring what’s wrong? By sentencing him to a similar fate my primarch suffered? Or by maybe making him Emperor food? How the FUCK are you going to save him if you aren’t even acknowledging the fucking issue here you halfwit?”

This ensues:

Horus uses a Calm Emotions spell, which I rolled a fucking 5 to (WITH DOUBLE. FUCKING. ADVANTAGE. My dice rolls have been extremely cursed for the past couple days) and then this happens:

TL:DR; Horus explains what’s up after Ket-Ket threatens to walk yet again, and then Ket-Ket lays into him and Abby for their collective 0 fucking braincells. He also explains why the fuck he should’ve gone to MAGNUS FIRST. For FUCK SAKES, ABBADON.

Then Abby wants to talk some bullshit:

TL:DR, more roasting and also some added “Fuck you for asking if I’ve ever been like ‘spare that one in particular’, do you even remember Prospero, bitch? That was only a short while ago, asscravat.’ And then some more laying out of what Abbadon should have done and why he is just being a complete dumbass in the eyes of this short, thwacky Kenku.

Note: I didn’t have to roll persuasion or anything. I just. Roasted Abbadon. And hit him. A lot. With my thwacky stick. 

Abby fesses up, admits he’s been stupid, and agrees to go to Sortiarius to deal with Magnus and try to save this child. 

In the end, I love this fucking bird. I love him so fucking much. He looked the Warmaster of Chaos in the eyes and called him a stupid bitch. It’s so good. And he’s Level 2. I fucking love him.]

[nokomiss]

ficlet ft batmen and robins

I couldn’t get this out of my head, SO. this is set pre-DCeased/normal timeline (for Bruce, Dick and Tim) and post-DCeased: Hope at World’s End #5 (Damian and Steph)

*

It’s a totally normal evening in the Cave, Bruce is at the computer doing some detective work, Dick and Tim are sparring but mostly gossiping about their various teammates, and then an alert goes off.  Temporal anomaly.

Dick’s all casual, “Haven’t had one of those in a while,” and Tim’s curious, because time travel is always interesting. Often frustrating, always headache-inducing, but definitely more interesting than their previous conversation.

There’s a shimmer, and a portal is appearing. Bruce stands up, puts on his cowl, and Tim and Dick join him, flanking him on either side.  Then two figures emerge, and the colors are familiar: black and grey and the bat ears; red and yellow and green; but it’s clearly not Bruce, and definitely not either of them.

Batman is tiny, and Tim has absolutely no doubt who he is -- Damian, near enough to the same size as he is now that Tim has a terrible, terrible feeling about the near future. Robin is a head taller and blonde and Steph’s smiling at them, but it’s-- it’s the same smile he’s only seen when she’s pretending like she’s not heartbroken.

Bruce is stock-still, and Tim can do the math, can figure out why Damian might be wearing the suit. Knows Bruce would already have come to the conclusion.  He shoots a glance at Dick, unsure what to say.

It doesn’t matter, because Steph beats them to it. “Go on, hug him,” she says, shoving Batman’s shoulder-- Damian’s shoulder. “I’ll explain.”

Then Damian’s running towards them, flinging his arms around Bruce. His shoulders are shaking, and Tim realizes he’s crying. Damian’s saying things to Bruce, quiet and quick and private, full of emotions that Tim kind of assumed the kid didn’t even have. He’s so caught up in that that Steph’s words feel like they’re coming from a different world. He supposes that really, they are. “So here’s the thing. The world ended.”

Dick says, “Again?” like it’s time for a joke, and Steph’s smile cracks, just a bit.

“We’re gone, aren’t we?” Tim says, because Steph looks like she’s staring at ghosts.

“You went quick,” she says, like that’s any reassurance. “Most of humanity did. Earth’s done for. They’re building arcs-- apparently the best idea we could come up with was to abandon the planet altogether and hope the virus doesn’t follow us to a new one.”

Damian pulls slowly away from Bruce, and then flings himself at Dick. He doesn’t say as much, because Dick is the one telling him how much he loves him, how proud of him he is. Bruce looks shell-shocked.

“I’m guessing that you think we  stand a better chance of stopping it before it happens,” Tim said, trying to focus on Steph. It’s strange, seeing her as Robin, trying to picture this strange new Batman and Robin, but… Tim is surprised that he doesn’t feel jealous. Instead he can understand, can picture the terrible confluence of events that would lead to this partnership, and from the way Damian’s expressing emotions, flinging himself into sentiment over the mission -- it seems to be working.

“Hopefully, but honestly, it’s probably doomed,” Steph said with an easy shrug, as if she wasn’t talking about the apocalypse, the destruction of the planet, of abandoning hope. “If it works, yay, but the kid needed to see his dad one last time before we leave everything behind.”

Tim blinked, and as Steph explained what had happened and how to avoid it, Damian hugged him, too, tight and fast, and then straightened up, wiped away the tears.  

“We don’t have much longer,” he informed Steph, in that inflection of voice that always made Tim want to throw things at him, but in the cowl, what should have looked like a kid playing dress-up was suddenly-- not.

“I will keep this future from happening,” Bruce says in a voice that sounds harsh until Tim realizes that he’s speaking through a tightened throat, jaw tight, emotions barely held at bay.  He looks as though he already wants to hug Damian again. 

Damian says, “I hope so. But even if you do, it will simply create an alternate timeline where things will be-- better.”

He spares a second to glance up, as if imagining his younger, more innocent self upstairs.  Steph wraps an arm around his shoulder, squeezes, and then faces Bruce directly for the first time. 

“I’m taking care of him,” she says, and it’s a promise and a update all in one, and the dynamic of this Batman and Robin is crystal clear to them all -- Damian’s resolve and training and pledge to uphold the legacy contrasted with Steph’s determination and emotional experience and refusal to back down in the face of certain doom.  “As long as I’m able, I’ll try.”

Their dynamic makes absolute sense and makes Tim’s head hurt all at the same time.  

“Thank you,” Bruce says, and then turns to Damian, like he’s going to say more, but Damian shakes his head. “You already said everything that needed to be said.”

A future Bruce’s dying words to his son, and Damian doesn’t want them underwritten.  Tim wonders if he’d do the same, in that position.

“Thirty seconds,” Steph says, looking at a dial on her wrist-- analog,he notices, and Tim can think of a hundred things that they need to back up, that they should change now that this threat is apparent.  Neither Steph nor Damian has given a timeline, but Damian himself is a glaring warning sign.   It’s close, and they have to stop it.

Then Steph surprises him by throwing herself at him in a hug, at Bruce, then even Dick, who looks surprised. “Keep this from happening, okay?” she says, glancing back at Damian, who is staring at them like he’s memorizing every feature, every movement, every sound.  “Please. Don’t let our fate be yours.”

Then the shimmering portal reappears, and Steph is pulling Damian through. They can faintly hear her say, “We can’t just stay, Dames, we have too much work to do.”

It hadn’t occurred to Tim that that could even be an option for them, and the second the portal disappears, he feels the ache of their loss, the pressing and driving urge to save them.

“Write everything down,” Bruce says immediately, opening a file on the computer and beginning to type.”Both of you, so we can compare. I may have-- “ he stops to clear his throat. “I may have missed a few details.”

Tim can still practically feel the ghost of the hugs he’d received, the weight of Batman and Robin’s arms around him, and knows exactly what Bruce means.  

Dick said, quietly, “It must happen soon. Damian wasn’t any bigger than he is now.”

Tim nodded. “We can stop this.”

And tried not to think about Damian’s words, about knowing that they had managed to bring themselves back to simply -- warn them, to create a new timeline, knowing that they themselves were doomed to their own hellish one.

Had brought themselves back just to get one last goodbye.

[aedelia]

The Best Gifts

How do you thank someone for not only saving your friends and family’s lives, but your future too? Saying it is a good start, but Danny thinks a gift would be nice too.

               Danny was bored.  He was beyond bored actually.  Two days into Spring Break and he has nothing to do.  Sam and her family were off on a trip to somewhere in Europe. Tucker has relatives visiting and can't hang out, and Jazz has practically been living in the library to work on some big senior project that will be due when school gets back.  Even his parents were gone, some exclusive paranormal conference in New York, and they wouldn't be back until the weekend.

               Danny heaved a heavy sigh.  No ghosts had attacked for the last four days and now knowing the value of good time management, he had already managed to finish all of his schoolwork.  He listlessly tapped his fingers against the kitchen table where he was seated.  Playing Doomed solo was an option, but it's nowhere near as fun by himself, and it feels weird to play video games so early in the day.  He got up from his seat and paced for a bit.  He could go flying, but he didn't want to tempt the peace or any ghosts hanging about.  He stopped and drank a whole glass of water just for something to do. Hydration is important, right?  He resumed his pacing for several more minutes, wracking his brain for any ideas that could interest him.  He would work on a model rocket, but he had finished the one he got for Christmas over winter break.

                 He stopped in front of the fridge and glanced at the clock on the wall, it's not too early for lunch.  He grabbed a box of saltines out of the cupboard and pulled out a handful. Setting the box back on the counter he eased open the fridge door.

"Hey guys, I have a nice snack for you." he said as he checked for any loose ectoweenies.  He couldn't help the sad noise that escaped him when he saw the plate with last night's leftovers had been cleaned bare.  At least one weenie must have gotten out of the drawer.  He placed a cracker on the plate to lure the escapee from hiding.  Small, high-pitched growls greeted him as he slid the duct taped drawer open a couple of inches and sprinkled crushed saltine in the gap.  

                 The ectoweenies were kind of cute when they weren't eating his lunch. Jazz was by far the best cook in the family and he had been looking forward to enjoying the meatloaf again for lunch.  His musings were interrupted by tiny crunching sounds. "Aha!" he exclaimed as he snatched the miscreant up off of the plate.

 "You've had enough of an adventure, time to go back home," he dropped the weenie through the open gap in the drawer. "Ouch!" he yelped as it managed to bite his thumb on the way down.  Danny pouted as he stuck his thumb in his mouth to suck on the bite.  The returned weenie was growling its story to the others as he toed the drawer closed before using his free hand to reseal the duct tape.

               "For some reason, I'm not that hungry anymore..." Danny muttered as he inspected his thumb.  Thank goodness for supernatural healing, what was a bleeding cut a moment ago was already reduced to a light pink line.

                 Danny resumed his pacing for a moment before sitting back down at the table. He rested his chin on his arms as he watched the seconds tick by on the clock.

 ‘I have so much time and all I can think of doing is watching the clock tick.’  He mused on the irony of trying to make time and when he finally has some, he can hardly use it.

   ‘I wonder what Clockwork does when he isn’t pretending to try to kill me.  To think that he had planned for us to try to escape to the future to see Dan in order to set me on the path of overcoming that future.’  He frowned, ‘Even then I didn’t actually make it in time to save anyone.  It was really nice of Clockwork to not only save them, but to set me further back afterwards so that I could keep my secret and do some damage control.  I didn’t even get a chance to thank him for his help.’  He rose to his feet and started pacing once more.  “I really should thank him.  I think I remember where his lair is.  It might take an hour or two of flying if nothing interferes… Should I just show up?  That seems kind’ve rude.  Maybe I should get him a gift?  Thanks for saving my family and friends, and you know, not killing me when you could have.  Yeah I should definitely bring a gift, that would be the polite thing when just showing up at someone’s home.”  His pacing slowed as his thoughts deepened.

                 “But what gift do you give the ghost who can control time?  And also saved you and your family from terrible fates... He said time is like a parade that he watches from above but it was more like he was helping to direct the parade than just watching.”  Danny grinned in delight as inspiration struck, “I know the perfect thing!” he said as he dashed out the door at a quarter to eleven, patting his pocket to check for his wallet as he went.

                                                            -----

               A quick scooter ride later and he was at the outlet stores by the mall. He looked fondly at the video game store before parking his scooter and walking into the music store.  He browsed around the aisles, poking at one or two of the display instruments. ‘I remember when we came here so Jazz could pick an instrument in Middle School; I don’t think she’s played since then.’  

 When the lady at the desk finished with her short line of customers (mostly band kids buying reeds or random accessories), Danny popped out from the shelves to ask her, “Hey, do you guys have the kind of baton that bands use in parades?  I’m looking for a gift for a conductor I know.”

   She pursed her lips in thought before sliding her chair over to her computer next to the register.  “Hang on; let me see if we have anything like that in stock.”  Danny tried to keep from fidgeting as she spent a couple of minutes typing and clicking away at the computer.  He was trying to decide whether or not to scratch his nose when she turned back to him.

  “So we don’t have anything like that in the store right now.  You could special order one if you’d like but that would take a while and unless you wanted a gag gift, would be pretty expensive…” At his crestfallen expression she continued, “However, if you would like to get your conductor friend a conducting baton, a good quality one runes about $20-30 and we have a nice selection I can show you.”  

 Danny’s face lit up, “It’s not my first idea, but that would be just as good!”  The store clerk smiled at him and standing from her computer chair, she led him to one of the display cases by the register.

   “These are arranged by price and material.  This side is the lower end and is mostly fiberglass and cheaper wood or rubber,” she said, gesturing to Danny’s left, “and these are the nicer, more durable ones to your right.  My favorite is the rosewood style right there.”  She pointed to a medium priced baton with a nice reddish wooden bulb.

 “Tell you what, since this is for a gift, if you get one of the wooden ones I’ll engrave a name for you for free.”  

 Danny grinned at her, “That rosewood one you pointed out would be great!  For the name, could you put it as Clockwork?”

 She smiled back at him and chuckled a little, “As in, when they’re conducting everything runs like clockwork?”

 “Yeah kinda like that, it’s a nickname, so could you capitalize the C?”

 “Of course, that’ll be $25.96 after tax.”

 Danny paid her and watched as she pulled a slim case from below the counter.  She popped the end cap off and pulled out the new baton.  

 “Looks to be in perfect shape, give me a minute and I’ll have the name engraved for you.”  She picked up a small tool slightly thicker and longer than a pen and flipped a switch on the side.  A low buzzing filled Danny’s ears as she carefully engraved the name on the shaft in neat handwriting.  The tip of her tongue was sticking out of her mouth as she concentrated.   She flipped the tool off and stowed it out of sight before blowing on the engraving to help cool it and to remove any dust.  She waved it a couple of times before neatly sliding it back into the case and handing it to him.

 “There you go, one personalized baton for your friend!” she chirped.

 “Thank you so much, I’m sure he’ll like it!” Danny effused before heading out the door with a wave to the friendly salesperson. He retrieved his scooter and helmet and headed back to Fentonworks.  The whole trip only took about half an hour.

                                                           -----

Once back at home, Danny stowed his scooter and made a quick stop back in the kitchen. He slapped together a peanut butter sandwich so he wouldn’t have to deal with the ectoweenies again.  He scarfed it and washed it down with another glass of water.

“Ok!” he said, talking aloud to help psyche himself up.  “I should leave a note for Jazz somewhere in case I’m out when she gets home, and then I need to store the gift in my ghost space pocket so I don’t lose it on the trip.  I think that’s everything,” he said with his arms crossed and tapping his fingers against his elbow.  He nodded and then reached for the notepad next to the fridge to write out a quick note for his sister.

‘Hey Jazz, I’m going for a visit to see Clockwork, he’s the guy who helped me out during the CAT stuff.  Nothing is wrong.  I’m going to thank him and probably visit for a bit.  Don’t know how long it’ll take but don’t worry if I’m not home yet.’

“She’ll probably still worry and tell me that it’s her job as my big sister, but at least she’ll know I wasn’t kidnapped or something.  This should keep her from looking for me too.  She’s not going to go searching for me in the ghost zone unless I’m gone a really long time.”

He put the note in the middle of the table then grabbed the gift and lightly skipped down the stairs to the lab.  A quick flash of light and Danny tucked the slim case into the special space pocket where he normally keeps his thermos and cell phone.  Discovering that ability had made his ghost fighting a lot simpler, no more racing to his locker to grab a thermos or trying to discreetly pull it from his bag when he says he’s going to the bathroom.  He still keeps a spare in his locker and under his bed.  Sam and Tucker both keep a few too.  It never hurts to be prepared, especially when it comes to ghost fighting.

               He pulled off his glove and unlocked the portal.  It was kind’ve funny that his DNA was still recognizable to the Fenton scanner in ghost form.  After pulling his glove back on, he slipped through the portal and was on his way.

                                                            -----

Danny hummed cheerfully as he flew through the green and purple mists of the ghost zone.  He had been so bored, but he found the perfect thing to do!  Even better, since his parents weren’t home, he won’t have to worry about being locked in the zone.  

               He did a loop and waved at some cute blob ghosts before significantly increasing his speed.  ‘I might be able to shave off some of my travel time if I fly near top speed, it’ll be good exercise too.’

               Danny continued to increase his flight speed until his surroundings blurred and he weaved among the floating islands, rocks, and other debris with minute adjustments to his path.  Amazingly enough, he didn’t encounter any ghosts itching for a fight. ‘Maybe it’s because I’m in the Zone, most ghosts that come through the portal have some sort of goal.  Most in the Ghost Zone just want to be left alone.  It could also be partly the speed I’ve been going, harder for anyone to try to fight me if I’m already gone by time they notice me.’

               He slowed his pace down as the floating gears that fill the space near Clockwork’s lair began to appear.  ‘I wonder where all these gears come from.  He does have a lot of clocks.  Maybe he used to have more?  I can always ask him later if the visit goes well.’  Danny gently touched down in front of the large door to the lair.  He took a deep breath, thinking, ‘I hope he doesn’t mind a visit.  Of course he probably already knows I’m coming here, but still.’ and then firmly clanged the doorknocker.  

A few seconds passed and then Clockwork opened the door with a slight smile, “Daniel.  Please come in.,” he said while beckoning with his free arm.

“I hope it’s ok that I just showed up.” Danny said as he stepped into Clockwork’s lair for the second time.  

“It’s perfectly alright.  You are welcome here Daniel, I can always make time for you.” Clockwork replied as he closed the door behind them.

‘Did he just make a pun?’ Danny wondered, pausing in his surprise before following Clockwork into a lounge area that he hadn’t seen on his initial visit. ‘Not that I really had much time to look around with everything going on and Clockwork manipulating us for a better future. On the subject of that diverted timeline, I shouldn’t forget what brought me here in the first place.’

Clockwork, currently in adult form, had stopped and was now floating by a flat gear suspended at coffee table height.

“Clockwork,” Danny said, “I really want to thank you for your help with that horrible future.  I really appreciate that not only did you save my friends and family; you also gave me a second chance to fix my relationship with Mr. Lancer about the cheating thing.  He let me retake the test and actually let me study for it during detentions.  He even answered questions that I had about the material!” Danny paused to take a breath, “To show my gratitude for your help and to say thank you for giving me a chance, I got this for you.”  He rotated his arm slightly to reach into his sub-pocket and pulled out the slim case holding the engraved baton.

               As he handed it to Clockwork he said, “It’s not much but I was thinking about how you said you see time like a parade that you’re watching from above, it felt more like you were directing the parade a bit and I’m really glad you kept it from marching off a cliff…”  Danny trailed off, halting his ramblings as Clockwork opened the case and gently withdrew the baton.  He phased to his older form as he lightly ran his gloved fingers over the engraving of his name.  

“It is a lovely gift, thank you Daniel.  It is very thoughtful and especially fitting in your case.  I will cherish it.,” he said as he slid it into an invisible pocket up his sleeve.  “I am glad that you decided to come by.  Due to my actions on your behalf, I have been given charge and responsibility for you.  Think of me as your ghostly guardian, or mentor.  You should feel free to visit me anytime, whether you have questions, are looking for advice, or just want to spend time in a safe place. Cookie?” he offered as he switched to his child form.

               Danny was sure his jaw was hanging loose as Clockwork finished informing him of their new potential relationship.  Given that he was currently in ghost form, that could be a lot more literal than normal.  He was still trying to process this bombshell when his whole train of thought derailed at the sight of the cookie that Clockwork was holding out to him.

“That cookie is green.  And glowing.” he said as he cautiously reached out for it.

“Of course it is, “Clockwork replied, “The flour was soaked in raw ectoplasm before it was baked.”

Danny looked slightly repulsed but curious as he examined the cookie now in his hand, “Is it safe for me to eat?” he asked.

“Yes it is, and actually, on the subject of nutrition,” Clockwork said, phasing back to his adult form once again, ���You need to increase your ectoplasm intake if you want to remain healthy while using your powers.  The easiest ways for you to do this would be to accept it into your diet, such as with these cookies,” he gestured towards the still uneaten cookie in Danny’s hand, “or you can absorb ambient energy from spending time in the Ghost Zone.”

“Wow, you’re being a lot more straight forward now than when you helped save the future.” Danny remarked.

“When I helped you, my hands were tied by my employers; they wanted me to eliminate you instead of solving the root of the problem. Now that I have responsibility for both you and the alternate phantom, I am able to directly advise you when you have a problem as opposed to the convoluted run around that was necessary to keep the Observants from interfering further.”  He shifted to his elder form and concluded with, “Maybe they wouldn’t be so shortsighted if they had two eyes instead of just one.”

               Danny smiled slightly at the dig at the pretentious eyeballs.  He had encountered them a few times while exploring the zone but hadn’t known what their jobs were at the time.  “I know I promised that I’ll never turn into Dan, and I’m planning on always keeping my promise! But, is there anything that I need to watch out for to keep everything on track?”

“Do not worry.  The actions that you have taken and the choices that you have made have decisively prevented you from ever becoming Dan.  You have committed yourself to doing what is right, and remember, Dan was not just you, he was a combination of Phantom and Plasmius.  You have nothing to worry about as long as you keep going as you have been. Eat your cookie.”

               Danny nibbled at his cookie and was surprised that it tasted really good to him.  It was a sugar cookie with a lemon-lime aftertaste that somehow worked really well.  As he finished the cookie, he realized that it satisfied a craving that he hadn’t realized he had.  Like finally scratching an itch.  Danny ate another ecto-cookie from the plate on the table as Clockwork looked on in his child form.

“So I can visit tomorrow too?” Danny asked.

“Of course you may Daniel, you are welcome here any,” he paused and smirked slightly, “…time.” he finished, shifting to adult form.

               Danny grinned at him, Clockwork liked puns too!  He floated over to the older ghost and tentatively reached for a hug. Clockwork did not hesitate in holding him tight and completing the embrace.

“You are a good and precious child; I already am anticipating your next visit.  Unfortunately, you will need to be leaving soon if you do not want your sister to form a search party.  She has finished early at the library and will be heading for home shortly.”

               Danny hid his smile against Clockwork’s chest as he felt his hair being ruffled.  The ticking of the clock under his cheek was comforting.

               “Thank you again for saving my whole world.  And thanks for the advice and the open invitation.  I’ll definitely be visiting more this week.”

Clockwork gave Danny’s head a final pat before separating, “As long as you fly the same speed or faster going home as you did coming here, you will avoid any encounters and will make it home with plenty of time to reassure your sister and to tell her about your day.” Clockwork shifted to his elder form and with his characteristic smirk, stated, “Later Gator.”

Danny beamed with delight as they floated to the door.

“After a little while, Crocodile.”

“We’re far too gharialous for a traditional parting.”

It took Danny a moment to work gharial and garrulous apart before he could shoot back, “Caiman, these puns are getting old.”

Clockwork replied by waggling his eyebrows and shifting to his child form, “Actually, you will find that they are getting younger.”

Danny laughed and waved to his new mentor as he floated out into the ghost zone proper, “I’ll see you tomorrow, bye!” he shouted as he turned and sped off towards home.

Clockwork shut the door once Danny was out of sight and moved to his time viewing room where Danny flying home showed on the main screen.  Some of the smaller screens floating off to the side showed him dropping the ecto-weenie back into the drawer in the refrigerator and eating dinner with his sister.

“There are some advantages to being the master of time, and taking care of such a wonderful and delightful child is definitely one of them.  The puns are a bonus too.” he mused with a slight lisp and fingering the baton that he’d been gifted.  He watched Danny talking to himself during his flight home.

“…and I should ask him where those gears around his lair come from tomorrow.  Oh! And if the ectoplasmic contamination in Mom’s cooking is actually a good thing for me.  I need to learn about more types of animals and things so I don’t run out of puns!” He was flying home with a huge smile.

                                                        -----

True to Clockwork’s words, Danny once again didn’t have any unfriendly encounters while he travelled.  He had even managed to shave a couple more minutes off of his flight time!  He slowed down as he approached the Fenton Portal and slipped through at normal speed. When he popped through he startled his sister where she was fiddling with some ghost hunting gadgets.  “Danny!” she yelled, dropping a Fenton Thermos and some miscellaneous inventions that didn’t actually do anything.  She threw her arms around him as he transformed back to human form.  “I read your note but I was starting to get worried!  I finished early at the library so that I could get dinner started.”

Danny gave her a quick hug back before responding, “I’m fine.  Actually, I’m way better than fine!  I’ll tell you all about it upstairs, do you think you could make meatloaf again?  An ectoweenie ate all of the leftovers.”

               His sister ruffled his wind-swept hair before tugging him towards the stairs. “Of course, little brother, I’m so glad that you had a good day and weren’t just playing video games or bored the whole time.”  They headed upstairs together and Danny started off his story, “So I was really bored this morning.  Incredibly bored.  Then I got the perfect idea…”