#householder

[tiger-grace]

Jason: it’s always “we love you, you’re apart of our family too, you’re enjoyable to be around, please come home for dinner, blah blah blah,” until you make ONE trauma compensating joke…

Duke: Jason you said “damn this chicken tastes better than the concrete floor of that warehouse lmao” on the anniversary of your own death

Tim: you literally made dick cry

[astrologerbydefault]

Power your life with the easiest daily routine

Everyone who wishes to to improve their energy can use this simplified daily routine. This is based on the Vedpurva karmakaand. This routine comprises of simple activities to connect with the divine which can be easily incorporated in the daily life.

There is a oft repeated question for a simple daily routine which householders can easily perform for improving the energy in their lives. Householders are required to follow the Vedpurva karmakaand which includes activities of various types repeated daily – Nitya karma. Some activities are repeated occasionally – Naimittik karma. And some are linked to fulfilling desires – Kamya karma. But doing…

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

[ottermatopoeia]

Everyone's all "i'll fuck your dad" until they realize that means they'd have to fuck someone over 40. and those people are weak.

[hinamie]

post-graduation trip airport looks

[brainrotcharacters]

wade's undiagnosed ADHD (giggling everytime Logan stabs him) is only ever matched by Logan's undiagnosed autism (stabbing Wade with his claws when he's overstimulated)

[catcrumb]

[wondersinwaynemanor]

Gothamite 1: Mr. Wayne looks more tired than usual.

Gothamite 2: Must be women problems.

Gothamite 3: I heard Wayne Enterprises is going bankrupt.

Gothamite 4: He must be really sick cus he has that Timothy boy doing the work for him. Although, that kid has been gone for quite some time now.

Gothamite 5: I heard he's gay and working at a club at night.

meanwhile, Bruce is just trying to balance life as Batman and as a father while dealing with his de-aged kids.

he knew he shouldn't have brought them with him on the mission.

Young Dick, tugging a toy: I'm going to kick you in the butt if you don't give me that stuffed toy back!

Young Tim, balancing an energy drink with one hand while pulling the toy from Dick on the other: You're so selfish, Dick! It's my turn!

Young Jason: *reading a book outloud by the corner just to annoy everyone else*

Young Cass: *on the floor, trying to balance her waffles on the table, with syrup all over the area*

the whole place is littered with fruit loops and cookies, milk splattered on the floor, the curtains are torn, dirty footprints are on the couches, a cape from one of their Robin suits is hanging on the chandelier, and the flat screen is damaged.

Steph: Ooof, it's bad, B.

Damian: Tt. Is Zatara even in this planet right now, Father?

Bruce, pinches the bridge of his nose: I think she's off world right now.

Duke: I'm more worried when Alf comes back from vacation and he sees this whole mess.

Bruce: I--

then they all hurriedly move to the children when they start to tackle themselves on the floor.

[j0celynh0rr0r]

.

[egophiliac]

tsum events really are just the best, huh

[as-i-watch]

God bless this cliché and trope breaking show

[lieutenant-columbro]

[elliocrett]

Loid "talk bad about my wife and you're dead" Forger

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

best thing about batman is that he's a superficially grimdark character, gothic & brooding & angst ridden etc..........but then it turns out he has a million hobbies, regularly goes on adventures with his besties, and has a dozen adopted kids he's raising with his devoted foster dad. good for him

[dcxdpdabbles]

Alfred: Who is this?

Seven year old Bruce: His name is Danny. He's my older brother

Alfred: You're an only child. You don't have a brother.

Bruce: Mom? Dad? Do I have a brother?

Thomas: I only ever loved your mother, and I find baby-making repulsive—no offense, Brucie—so biologically, no, you don't have a brother. Emotionally, on the other hand, if you feel like he is your brother, I don't mind calling him my son. It's not like I can't afford it, nor can this lad outrun me.

Alfred: That's... kidnaping, sir.

Martha: Oh don't be so uptight Alfred. You Brits worrry about the sillist of things.

Alfred: Silly thing? You mean the law!?

Martha: Yes, that's a pesky thing. Besides, he has my eyes and Thomas' nose! That's obviously our son.

Bruce considering Danny: He does have your nose, dad.

Thomas proud: A chip off the old block that one. Good job catching your brother Brucie.

Bruce: Thank you! I used my innocent face like you said, Mom!

Martha beaming: A pretty face is a valuable weapon, darling!

Alfred whispering to Danny: Blink four times if you want me to get you out of here. The Waynes are not entirely sane.

Danny:..... The kid just said he needed someone to walk him home cause he was lost.

Alfred: That's how they get you. I once offered Master Thomas my coat during a suprise downpour. That was four years ago, and now I'm a butler. He gave me an embroidered apron with the words, "You're mine now, Brit"

[beybuniki]

they should go on a fishing trip pt.1