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#how many more people can i meet in the next month? three months? a year? going to events like that
rjzimmerman · 2 days
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Excerpt from the Substack Distilled:
In the last few months, the Biden administration has quietly passed multiple federal policies that will transform the United States economy and wipe out billions of tons of future greenhouse gas emissions. 
The new policies have received little attention outside of wonky climate circles. And that is a problem.
Earlier this year, I wrote that Biden has done more to mitigate climate change than any President before him. For decades, environmentalists tried and failed to convince lawmakers to pass even the most marginal climate policies. It wasn’t until Biden took office that the logjam broke and the climate policies flowed. And yet few American voters are hearing this story in an election year of huge consequence.
It’s been two and a half months since I wrote that article. In that short time, the Biden administration has passed a handful of climate policies that will collectively cut more than 10 billion tons of planet-warming pollution over the next three decades, more than the annual emissions of India, Russia, Japan, South Korea, Canada, Saudi Arabia, and the entire continent of Europe—combined.
One climate policy that flew under the radar recently was the administration's latest energy efficiency rule, unveiled at the beginning of May. The new rules will reduce the amount of energy that water heaters use by encouraging manufacturers to sell models with more efficient heat pump technology. The new regulation is expected to save more energy than any federal regulation in history. 
Most people give little thought to how the water in their homes is heated, but water heaters are the second-largest consumer of energy in the average American home and one of the largest sources of climate pollution in the country. 
A few days before the administration announced its water heater efficiency rules, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) announced another sweeping policy.
According to the new rules, existing coal power plants will need to either shut down or install carbon capture technology capable of removing 90% of their carbon pollution. The policy will also require any new natural gas power plants that provide baseload power—the ones that run throughout the day and night, as opposed to the peaker plants that only run for a small fraction of hours in the year—to install carbon capture technology. 
The new power sector rules are effectively a death blow to coal power in America, which has slowly faded over the last two decades but still emits more carbon emissions than almost every country in the world. 
The water heater rules and power plant regulations will help the country meet its goal of cutting emissions by 50% by 2030. But impactful as they will be, they weren’t the most important climate policy that the Biden administration passed in the last two months. 
That honor goes to the EPA’s tailpipe rules, which are set to transform the auto industry over the next decade.
Today the transportation sector is the largest source of climate pollution in the United States. Within the sector, passenger cars and trucks are the biggest contributors to emissions. While electric vehicle adoption has grown in recent years, America lags behind many other countries in decarbonizing its vehicle stock. 
The EPA’s new rules will force automakers to reduce the amount of pollution and carbon emissions that come from their vehicles. The federal policy doesn’t specifically mandate that automakers produce EVs or stop selling gas-powered cars but instead regulates the average carbon emissions per mile of a manufacturer's entire fleet over the next decade. That means automakers can still sell gas-guzzling, carbon-spewing trucks in 2035. They’ll just need to sell a lot more EVs or plug-in hybrids to bring their average fleet emissions down if they do.
Like the power plant rules, the EPA’s new auto regulations are designed to avoid being thrown out by a conservative and hostile Supreme Court. 
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Mutuals I wish I could talk to you all in person cause I'm so much more cool and fun and engaging irl
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charliemwrites · 4 months
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…. So Mister(s) steal your girl, huh?
Content: Unhappy Relationship, (Brief) Gaslighting, Sad Reader
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Bombshells, you always thought, were supposed to making a whistling sound before landing. A high pitched warning of impending doom. Too late to escape the incoming devastation, but at least it wouldn’t come out of nowhere. There’d be some time to brace, for all the good it would do.
Maybe you watched too many movies.
Three months. That’s how long you got to enjoy the bliss of engagement before the world began to fall around you.
Your fiance came home and sat you down, his hand around yours. You thought he was breaking it off for some reason. What he did instead was worse.
In the aftermath you can only remember snippets of the one-sided conversation. Like tinnitus, an awful running in your ears left over from a dropped bomb.
Things like,
Still young, I want to explore…
How will I know you’re my forever unless I know what’s out there?
Last bit of freedom before being tied down…
If you love me and our relationship…
You love your fiance and your relationship. You don’t want to lose it just because you’re selfish. He’s still coming home to you, after all. You’re the one with the ring and all the plans for the future. So what if he wants to… explore? He’s even offering the same to you.
An open relationship, he calls it, like it’s some innovative idea.
You’ve heard of them before, never had much interest. Still don’t, honestly, but it was that or the desolution of 4 years.
You insisted on a long engagement. Your fiance promises that you two can revisit the open relationship when you’re married.
Within a week of agreeing, he’s leaves for the weekend. He doesn’t tell you where he’s going, who he’s meeting. He comes back Sunday evening smelling like someone else’s perfume with a hickey on his collarbone. When you refuse any advances, he sighs and says he “understands that this is a transition” and goes to shower.
It’s like that for six months. Weekends without him. Sometimes sending him off Friday morning and not seeing him until Monday evening. Lipstick on his collars, strange perfume invading the laundry. You start doing his clothes separately.
Six months. You spend months suffering in silence, sniffling through Saturdays and drifting through Sundays. Adjusting meal plans to cook for one.
The last straw is when you try to make plans on a holiday. You and your fiance haven’t done on a proper date in months. You want to go out, have all his attention on you, not shared with his phone.
“Ooh, sorry dear, I’ve already got plans with Malorie. Rain check, yeah? We’ll do something next week.”
You decide to go out anyway, sick of feeling sorry for yourself. Nothing fancy, just a bit of self care. You buy yourself a cute new outfit, put on a bit more makeup than usual, do your hair. Find an interesting little late night book shop. They serve wine and food and have comfy booths for people to read or talk or play board games.
The perfect place to be out but alone.
You’re debating the merits of a romance novel when a voice comes from your left.
“Love that one.”
You blink, glance up. Find a handsome man with eyes simultaneously so dark and so warm. Coals, you think. There’s a cheeky little quirk to his mouth as he nods at the novel.
“It’s good if you like will-they, won’t-they.”
You hum. “I’m more in the market for something… easier? If that makes sense.”
He hums, gives you a solemn look. “It does. Here, you might like this then.”
He plucks a book off the shelf and offers it for inspection. You feel awkward reading it the summary thoroughly, especially when you can feel his eyes on you. But you skim it, it looks promising, and a hot guy just suggested it, so…
“Read a lot of romance?” you ask curiously.
He ducks his head a bit, endearingly shy. “A bit, yeah. Call me hopeless.”
You bite the inside of your cheek, but can’t help saying. “I think it’s just romantic.”
His eyes light up. “Yeah? And what kind of books d’you usually like?”
Before you know it, you’re talking thrillers and horror novels with him. Recommending your favorite spooky novel and then following up that you always read a comedy afterwards as a palette cleanser.
You end up touring each other around the shop, talking books and authors and genres. Yet you’re somehow surprised when he asks if you’d like to sit with him. But you agree, a little thrill in your stomach that you haven’t felt since… a while.
You each buy a stack of books, then claim a booth and proceed to read none of them. He tells you his name is Kyle, that he’s in the military but on leave right now, stocking up on entertainment for flights or long spans of hurrying up and waiting.
You’ve never met a military guy before, and you trip over your curiosity. Trying not to pry but interested in what he does. He’s polite and patient, admitting there are a lot of things he can’t tell you but he’ll answer. You don’t stay on the subject long, figuring the last thing he wants to talk about it work.
He gets you back in the department of uncomfortable topics when he notices the ring on your finger. You’re quick to explain the situation, hot with shame all over again, eyes stinging despite yourself.
Instead of mocking you or just getting up and walking away, Kyle sits back looking flabbergasted.
“That’s fucking mental,” he says, “excuse me for saying.”
You burst into laughter. Haven’t told anyone any of this out of embarrassment, but hearing someone on your side is… good.
“I thought so too, but… he’s happy,” you admit.
Kyle frowns. “What about you?”
You blink, can’t look him in the eye. You know the answer but make a show of thinking about it.
“I’d… like to be again. This — the open relationship thing — seems to be working for him. So… maybe it’ll work for me too?” You shrug. “Worth a try.”
Kyle reaches across the table, a big warm hand enveloping yours. There are callouses you’re not expecting. Tantalizingly different.
“Would you like to try it with me?” he asks. “Don’t have to put a label on it or anything. But my schedule is a bit… it’s hard to keep up a traditional relationship, you know? But I like you, and I think your fiance is a knob.”
You snort, but flip your hand around, thumb brushing over his.
“Yeah…” you muse, and after saying it, a surge of confidence infuses you. “Yeah, I’d like to try this with you.”
His smile is absolutely brilliant. You won’t admit — not even to yourself for a long time — but you fall in love a little right then and there.
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doobea · 10 months
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I CAN MAKE YOUR BED ROCK - RIN ITOSHI
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synopsis: You're a famous online smut author, married to an international superstar athlete, and everyone around you thinks you have the perfect sex life. What they don't realize is Rin sleeps in the guest room and you're still very much a virgin.
contents: fem!reader, arranged marriage, suggestive themes but nothing too explicit (read with caution), characters are all in their mid/late-20s, reader has a small supportive friend group of other smut authors, mentions of alcohol, sex toys, and lots of failed attempts to seduce an oblivious (?) husband, mdni word count: 2.4k a/n: you guys already know that this is gonna be a wild one. is this my debut attempt to write smut but make it a romcom? maybe. this is gonna be a four-part series!!
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一 : Oh baby, I be stuck to you like glue ->next.
To say that you’re infamous on the internet isn’t an exaggeration but a truth. No, you haven’t posted anything controversial regarding your marital status and haven’t gotten yourself into a crazy D-List influencer scandal; you’re infamous solely because of your erotica literature and, surprisingly, your in-laws were fine with it.
“Whatever brings home the money.” Your father-in-law would always chime. 
You weren't ashamed of your career, and it practically all started in college when you wanted to pass the time writing for your favorite fandom. In a short amount of time, you had gained a small devoted following on your blog that made a lightbulb switch go off in your head - what if I could do this for a living? And so you did. Fast forward three years, now you are making a comfortable living working from anywhere with a wifi signal available and have over 950k followers on your socials, all under your alias 'YN Finalis'. With that many followers, most people would feel worried about their personal life being breached, but you're not dumb; you like to keep your personal life on, what you like to call, "low battery" mode.
Here's what your near million followers do know about: you’re 24 pushing on 25, you've come from a rather wealthy background, you’re married to an athlete, you’ve written well over 40 original explicit stories, and you have a plethora of sex toys and contraptions in your master bedroom.
What they don't know is: you're in an arranged marriage with Rin Itoshi for the past year, he only sleeps in the guest bedroom, and you're a virgin with a really creative mind.
Crazy, right?
But it's not like you're alone in your thoughts, today was the day when you decided to finally vent to your close fellow internet authors about your sexual frustrations.
"My in-laws keep asking me the same thing every time they call," Your voice reaches your laptop where your weekly meeting was set up on the kitchen counter. "I mean just how do they expect us to have a kid when my own husband doesn't even touch me?" You finish the remaining wine in your glass in dismay as sudden gasps were heard from the laptop's speakers.
"He hasn't initiated sex with you in these last few months?" Chigiri gasps.
"More like in the entirety of our relationship." You cry as you pour out another glass. You pick up your laptop, frowning seeing everyone's solemn looks, and make your way to your living room couch. "I'm still a virgin for crying out loud, like who's still a virgin at 24?"
Probably a lot of people but this is about you, not them!
"Oh my god," Hiori looks like he was going to cry for you. "Maybe your husband's just shy? Could it be he hasn't found the right time for it?"
"But a whole year?" Bachira is next to speak. "No wonder your stories have been popping off, you've been super horny."
You try to hold back your drunken sniffles. "I just don't understand! It's not like I'm ugly or anything, plenty of people wanted to date me back in college! He comes home to a clean house, I make fantastic meals that aren't just a ham and turkey sandwich, and for his past birthday I even gifted him an all-paid trip to Okinawa!"
"Shit," Shidou whistles, "I'd fuck you if you made me a ham and turkey sandwich."
"Not now for jokes." Hiori scolds and his tone softens when he speaks to you, "Outside of sex, has your husband been good to you?"
You pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration. "God, yes. He's so good to me you have no idea."
It wasn't like Rin was neglecting you in other forms of intimacy. Hugs and brief kisses were frequent both in and outside of the house. He loves holding your hands, shopping for clothes with you, giving you forehead kisses, and kissing you 'good morning' and 'good night' every day. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him, other than the occasional 'I'm irritated and I need my space' phase that required a whole evening to himself - but that was beside the point.
"Have you guys even talked about it?" Hiori continues.
"Oh god, absolutely no, it's an arranged marriage for fuck sake. What if I come off too strong and he doesn't even see me like that? Then the whole marriage will just be awkward!"
"But he's willing to do all those other things you listed down, maybe he is just shy." Bachira retorts.
"You think maybe he swings the other way?" Shidou asks but it's genuine this time.
A long period of silence falls over everyone as they try to figure out what they could help you with. But ultimately this was your husband to figure out, Rin wasn't married to them and they don't even know who Rin Itoshi was.
“Ah, whatever!” You swirl the wine in your glass around, frowning at your sullen reflection. “Maybe we’ll just end up adopting a baby instead of having one, maybe his parents won’t be able to tell the difference. And maybe I’ll just have to resort to reading other smut to satisfy my lack of intimacy. Chigiri, when is that next chapter coming out?”
A few clicks are heard from the other side of the screen before he says, “You’re in luck, I’m about to have my friend beta read this and it should be up by tonight.”
Perfect, you thought.
Chigiri, whose online username is RedPanther, has the third most followers on the adult website that everyone in the group was a part of. He's known for his works centering around the tropes 'forced proximity' and 'enemies to lovers', often the smut he writes will include a steamy threesome that has some sort of pegging involved - but that's always towards the second to last chapter.
"Oh!" Bachira calls out your name with a smile, "Aren't you working on a new story yourself?"
“Remind me again,” Shidou leans forward, "what's this one about?"
You find yourself feeling slightly lighter now that you've vented and the topic has shifted to something you're more confident speaking about. After a few seconds of rummaging through your Word documents, you drag the file labeled "I CAN MAKE YOUR BED ROCK - rough outlines & ideas.doc" to the group chat. Rarely do you ever share your creativity flow with other people but, after your unwarranted trauma dump, you figure it was better than nothing.
"Funny enough, it's loosely based on my marriage." You confess sheepishly, "This is my way of coping with it, I guess."
"Nothing wrong with that." Hiori chimes in, "It's free compared to having a shitty therapist!"
"Damn woman," Shidou's pink eyes dart back and forth from the screen, eyebrows furrowing up and down as he makes his way through your well-detailed outline. "you need to get laid, ASAP."
You click open your story file to follow along. In the tags section, you listed: Arranged marriage, unrequited love/one-sided, brat tamer, BDSM, choking, spanking, spitting, breeding kink, cum slu–
Okay, maybe Shidou is right (which is a surprise), you do need to get laid. But it's also okay to get slightly defensive for the sake of your ego, right?
You playfully roll your eyes at your group mate. "Ok ok, no need to judge that hard coming from the person who literally writes degradation kinks for a living!"
"Well, I think this story will be your best one yet!" Chigiri and Bachira both flip you a thumbs up over on their end of the call.
After a few more exchanges of small story updates in everyone's life, you all decided to end the call since it was getting rather late in the afternoon and you have yet to get started on dinner. You briefly thank Chigiri for his upcoming update and hop off, just in time before you hear the familiar sounds of the front door opening.
"I'm back."
"Welcome back, Rin!"
You can't help but feel slightly embarrassed and guilty that you were essentially gossiping about your husband's lack of sex drive to your friend group, which he hardly knows about, when he comes home with a large bag of takeout and your favorite coffee order. Rin is dressed in his typical workout outfit, which consists of a black form-fitting t-shirt and grey sweatpants that were just loose enough that you can still make an outline of his 'magic jewels', as Bachira likes to write.
"Baby, you didn't have to." You quickly grab the items from his hands so he can set down his gym bag.
He hums in response, briefly kissing your forehead before making his way into the kitchen to fetch a tall glass of water. "You've been cooking all week so I wanted you to take a small break," Rin says with a smile.
Your ears go warm and mimic the smile back, “Thanks, how was practice today?”
He sighs through his nose and wipes away the remaining sweat-covered bangs sticking to his forehead. “Rougher than usual but nothing too crazy. Isagi was more annoying compared to yesterday.” Rin says with a small pout.
“Boo,” You stick your tongue out in agreement, “how dare he annoys my one and only husband?”
“Oh, shut up.” He flicks a finger to your cheek and lets out the slightest fake scoff.
After hydrating, Rin announces quietly that he’ll come back to eat as soon as he takes a shower and darts to the guest bedroom. And with that, you’re reminded of your odd predicament.
He is a good husband and knows that you care for him and vice versa. When both sets of parents first introduced you two, it was awkward and you knew from reading his background that he wasn’t the most sociable of people but you were, and still are, patient. This arranged marriage was more or less a business deal between fathers; your father held the CEO title at a top entertainment company in the nation and Rin’s father wanted to secure the spotlight for the growing star athlete. Rin didn’t say much during that meeting, and neither did you.
Your first kiss with him was also on your first date. It was at his apartment, both of you shared the same hobby of playing horror games, and you were sitting thigh to thigh on his two-seater couch. You were dying multiple rounds in, fingers bruised from button-mashing and mind-busied with inappropriate thoughts as you kept stealing glances at your painfully attractive fiance. It didn’t take long for Rin to notice because it was stupidly obvious. He sat his controller down, took one look at you, and asked, “Do you want me to kiss you?” with a weird little smile that was seemingly almost out of character from what you knew of him. And the kiss was … awkward to say the least. You remembered him leaning down and you were leaning up, mashing lips and a little bit of teeth together. No amount of research that you had done days prior could’ve prepped for that. And it was almost as if it was his first time kissing too, but you fixated on your inexperience than pay any mind to his mysterious relationship track record. 
One year later and you’re still stuck at first base.
As if on cue, you feel your phone give out a series of buzzes in your back pocket, already knowing that it’s from your online penpals. You break out from your thoughts and scroll to the top of the messages:
Bachira M. [BluntBangs] “You should try seducing him tonight!” Hiori Y. [ChoppyCyan] “You remember reading Chigiri’s fan favorite short story - “Till Death Do Us Part”? There was this one scene where the characters had to share one bed because the other bedroom got ruined by a leak! Maybe you can “accidentally” make that happen too?” Chigiri H. [RedPanther] “I remember I had a fun time writing that scene. You should definitely try and flirt with him, y/n.” Shidou R. [HornyDemon] “And if your husband won’t fuck you then I will /jk” Hiori Y. [ChoppyCyan] “Shut up you’ll fuck anything that has a pulse”
They weren’t necessarily wrong. You didn’t want this dynamic to potentially go on for another year or even for the rest of your life - trying wouldn’t hurt anyone, right? 
You quickly fill up a pitcher of water then peer into the spare guest room and notice warm lighting bleeding through the cracks coming from the bathroom door and the sounds of running water. With Rin still busy washing up, you take the liberty to start messing around for your impromptu operation. You weren’t exactly sure when or who suggested sleeping in separate bedrooms to start but, to your knowledge, this is the first time that you’ve actually sneaked around in his room.
You start with the closet, opening its double doors and seeing his clothes all hung in order and by color. His sneakers and cleats were all stored in separate clear cases in the bottom corner while there is a small center shelf in the middle that holds his cologne, deodorant, and moisturizer. He’s neat, you think to yourself before deciding that it’s probably best to leave his belongings alone and focus on ruining something in the room that was less personal. Next is the carefully made bed with extra fluffed pillows, then the freshly well-kept plants on the window sill, followed by the small framed photo of your wedding day on the bedside table. Guilt immediately rushes over your consciousness.
“No, this won’t do either.” You groan, suddenly feeling like this is the dumbest thing on earth now. “I should just give up.” 
“y/n?” Rin’s voice calls out and you snap your head towards his direction, soon to be met with a series of incoherent sputtering from the male as you realize that he’s completely wet and naked.
“Oh my god!” Hands and pitcher fly to your redden face as you try to come up with an excuse but nothing comes out the way you want it to, “I-I uh–water! I thought you needed more water–I’m sorry!”
You hear him scrambling around the room, most likely searching for a towel to cover up his impressive lower half. “You’re fine,” Rin’s voice sounds flustered and unusually high pitched, “just give me a second–”
“N-No I’m sorry! I don’t even know why I’m standing here I should just go and–” Closing your eyes might’ve been the worst choice all day because soon your body meets the wall and soon the floor, spilling the pitcher’s contents all over you in the process. 
Your phone vibrates again, text reading:
Bachira M. [BluntBangs] “Did it work?!”
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dalliancekay · 2 months
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Aziraphale does NOT need to suffer MORE
Can't believe I have to say this. TW: grief, mourning, death (sorry) I have, since falling into the fandom 6 months ago to escape real life, seen many takes on how Aziraphale needs to suffer in S3 to match Crowley's suffering. Mainly as the counterpart to the moment Crowley thinks he lost Aziraphale as he's looking for him desperately in the burning bookshop.
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Then drinks, we suppose, to dull his pain, waiting for the Armageddon. Also, the way Crowley suffers at the bandstand argument, the 'I Forgive You' moments, which many people find utterly devastating and incredibly heartless from Aziraphale. Not to mention when he doesn't react in the 'right way' to Crowley's confession in the Final 15. And then on top of that, 'abandons' Crowley. Oh and also for, and I quote: "The smug and entitled way Aziraphale went around in S2 assuming Crowley would love and follow him everywhere." And for all this pain that Crowley endured for him, Aziraphale should suffer in S3, to I assume, even out the scores. Some people want to see him lose it, show his emotions, to cry or beg or otherwise show how much he misses Crowley and how very sorry he is for what he's done.
Now for the TW grief content I motioned above. You can skip to the next sentence in bold.
WE ALL SUFFER DIFFERENTLY I was on holiday late September last year, visiting my mum, stepfather and my two younger brothers. We went to a cousin's wedding. It was great. The day after, as I was hanging out reading a book my mum got a call. The kind of call every mother fears. My youngest brother (he was 27) died in an accident. We needed to speak to police and the coroner. She cried and cried. She's still crying. She asks questions. She gets no answers. I did not cry. I talked to the police. I googled a funeral home. I bought my brother his last set of clothes. He lived in a hoodie and torn black jeans. Mum wanted a suit. But he died in the one he bought for the wedding. I texted a lot of people. I bought snacks for the many friends who came to the funeral and wanted to speak to us after. My grief feels like a vice. I am not sad. I do not appear sad. Contrary to what people expect. But I am ANGRY. I am furious. But nobody can see this. I am not fine and I wish no one would ever* ask how I was again. TW/Personal content over. Since I was small (because I am weird like that) I genuinely wondered if, finding myself in danger, I could scream like people in films do. I don't think I could. I cope with hard situations, fear and stress and anxiety by shutting down, sometimes by retreating too, by furiously trying to find a way out. And I think Aziraphale does the same. And that's why I love him so much. And why I feel get him and understand that people sometimes can't tell how much he's actually feeling. I also express love the way Aziraphale does - by organising things for people I love, inviting them places, making plans. When Crowley said you call me for three things (and it's basically any old reason) I felt SO SEEN. This is what I would do with a friend who I know is feeling unmoored, sad, stuck. I'd text them with any old thing. I'd never actually say I love you, how can I help though, I would try to get them to talk, meet me, go somewhere. Aziraphale does not express emotions the same way as Crowley.
But his emotions are valid nonetheless. He is worried for Crowley from around 3 minutes into their acquaintanceship. And he NEVER stops worrying.
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And are we quite sure he has never lost Crowley?
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How many times did Aziraphale's heart freeze in horror when he realised Hell has taken Crowley and he had no idea if he'll ever come back and what is happening to him?
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How did Aziraphale spent the night after vanquishing the demons and starting a war? He had no idea where Crowley was. He was probably sick with worry that Hell just took him away. We didn't see him drink, but surely, the worry must have been overwhelming. The wait for what will happen.
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ALL his worries over the Arrangement. Was he worried for himself? Do we really think that?
Crowley thought he lost Aziraphale in S1, yes, we saw that. And what happened to the angel then?
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He got blown into atoms which I bet wasn't pleasant and when he arrives in Heaven he limps. Why is he hurt? Why is he quickly pretending he isn't? Why is he always hiding how he feels? Also, he immediately deserts, wants no part in the Holy War and quickly finds an extremely unconventional way to get back. It's not a grand gesture, he doesn't deliberate, doesn't worry that he will Fall (although surely that must have been what he thought), there's no pomp around it, he thinks it and then does it. No hesitation.
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Is this coming from an angel who just can't leave Heaven behind and longs to be a part of it? Who loves to follow rules? And let's not forget in those moments Aziraphale thought Crowley was most likely gone. That he probably left for Alpha Centauri. Last he heard from him he was told he was talking to an old friend and had no time for him. Why we NEVER talk about how that might have felt for Aziraphale?
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Things are not as simple as Aziraphale has been supressing his emotions and lying to himself about how he feels and he should get over it and become free. That's not how this works. He was suppressing his emotions OUT OF LOVE. His main goal was always to keep Crowley safe. They simply couldn't run away or hoodwink Heaven and Hell. They had nowhere to go. They had no hope and yet they kept loving each other. That's courage. I know we all grew up with Romeo and Juliet and Heathcliff and Cathy and we FORGOT that those were CAUTIONARY tales. And this is not what Aziraphale wants for them. He would never allow himself to go so fast he would hurt Crowley. He feels guilty enough for agreeing to the Arrangement and for meeting Crowley at all when he knows they can be discovered and punished at any point. And Crowley knows it and RESPECTS it. He does not tolerate Aziraphale's decision to not go on a date and to hell with circumstances. He understands Aziraphale's reasoning and he respects Aziraphale's decision. Don't forget, they have NO POWER. They can't change Heaven and Hell. They can't stop believing in God and work on their religious trauma. Their Heaven and Hell are real places with real power and they BELONG to them. Aziraphale's trauma and his personality are deeply intertwined and he'd probably never be the kind of person who is open in showing their grief or stress. He will learn to be more open, I' sure. With his love especially, we see him reaching for and touching his demon in S2. Openly being with him, looking at him without guarding himself. They got a little bit of freedom for themselves despite ALL odds. So. Just because Aziraphale is not crying and screaming and I dunno, tearing his hair out or whatever some people would have him do, does not mean he isn't overflowing with pain, fear, uncertainty, doubts, worries, and so much anxiety that if he let it all out, half of the solar system would turn to ashes.
Aziraphale does not need to suffer in S3 to level out Crowley's suffering. They are, unfortunately, equal in their pain as they are in love. If there is one thing Crowley would never abide, it'd be this take from the fandom. * One more note on grief: (obviously from my personal experience) As initiated by @anthony-crowleys-left-nut in a comment
It's not that I mind to know people care and worry etc, but asking how I am can only end in me lying (fine, thank you) and both of us knowing it's not really true and feeling awkward or not lying (I feel like shit, mostly cos I can't sleep and think the world is a stupid unfair place) and both of us feeling awkward anyway. Does that make sense? I wish I could tell friends/colleagues to ask what I've been up to or something similar instead. What I've been reading (um, AO3, but I'll make something up), watching, do I want to go see some spring flowers bloom (I do).
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luvyeni · 3 months
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❛THE WEEKEND❜ ( j. sungchan )
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p. bestfriendsbrother!sungchan x fem!reader w. 3.6k+
— 𖦹 warnings. sungchan is lowkey obsessed with reader even tho he just met her, oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex, size kink, breeding kink
— 𖦹 (you didn't intend on meeting your best friends brother, let alone fucking him, but hey it's the weekend ) !
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“Hey how about we have a sleepover this weekend?”
You turned to your new friend who sat next to you; it had only been a few months since you started at your new school — not many people were welcoming to you because it was in the middle of the school year; everyone had made their respective friend groups and your shy nature made it hard for you to even make friends.
Then came jung soojin; your saving grace— she was a relatively popular girl who approached you first offering a seat to you; then sitting next to you at lunch, and then as the days went by your friendship blossomed. she’d been over your house multiple times, but you’d never been to her house. “th-this weekend?”
She shrugged, the teachers voice playing in the background. “yeah, it’ll be fun, we can watch a bunch of movies and eat a ton of snacks.” She smiled, you thought about it for a second. “okay sure.” She nodded. “great, we can head over to your house after school and get your clothes, and then head over to mines.” She explained. “okay.” You both turned back to the board, excited for the weekend to come.
After the bell rang; she dragged you to her car, driving over to your house — your parents were always happy to see her, chatting her up while you grabbed the things you need for the next three days, running back down the stairs before they could embarrass you. “that’s enough mom.” You grabbed soojins hand. “we have to go.”
“okay, well you girls have fun, i’ll see you sunday.” You waved, dragging her back out. “I love your mother.” Soojin started the car, you rolled your eyes. “yeah because she’s not spreading your business too people.” She laughed, driving off in the direction of her house.
“Shit.” She cursed pulling into the driveway. “he wasn’t supposed to be here.” She whispered. “who?” you questioned. “my brother, he's home from college, he wasn’t supposed to be here until next weekend.” She frowned. “im sorry.” You’ve heard of her brother once or twice; but this was the first time you’d be meeting him. “it’s okay.” You smiled. “we can still have fun right?” she nodded. “of course, he probably won’t even bother us.”
You both got out of the car, making your way up to her door, opening it and walking in, taking your shoes off at the front. “lets go to the kitchen first and the head up to my room.” You nodded, following behind her, looking at all the pictures they had hanging up. “you have a nice house.”
“thank you.” She held a bunch of snacks in her hand, handing them you so she could grab some more. “you think we’ll be enough to last until dinner?” you chuckled. “im almost certain it will.” She sheepishly smile. “Jesus, other people live here you know.” A deep voice shocked you, making you jump a little. “you’re taking all the good snacks.”
“you’re not even supposed to be here today.” You friend said. “I came home early to surprise our parents.” You turned to face the attractive voice — being met with an equally attractive face. “they aren’t here, they went to a wedding for the weekend, yn is gonna spend the night.”
He shifted focus to you, he was probably the most gorgeous man you’ve even seen, perfectly good symmetrical face, his hair fitting for his face— and he was tall, making you feel small; he made you feel nervous and you didn’t even know his name. “this sungchan.” Your friend said. “my annoying older brother.” You smiled. “h-hi.”
Sungchan took a look at you, eyes scanning you up and down — you hands full of snacks, looking up at him with doe eyes; you nervously rocked on your feet; you were cute. “hello yn.” You liked the way he said your name, it gave you butterflies. “we’re going to my room, so we won’t bother you.” Soojin said. “so don’t bother us.” She warned.
“Why would I do that?” he scoffed. “shotaro is coming over later to play basketball, we’re gonna order pizza if you want to eat.” You watched your friend’s eyes light up. “He is?” You just knew you had to ask her about it. “I’ve told you he doesn’t like you.” She scoffed. “how do you know?” she said. “he has a girlfriend.” He pushed past her, you watched them bickering as he filled up a cup filled with water. “okay , im done, you’re boring.” He said. “great didn’t want to talk to you anymore either.”
“Good.” He approached you, his body towering over yours. “leave her alone.” Soojin said. “can I have those?” he pointed to the bag of chips in your hand. “h-huh?” you were too lost in his eyes, he smirked; you were so cute. “these are the last bag and they’re my favorite, can I have them?” you held the chips out, handing it to him. “h-here.” He smiled taking the chips. “now go.” Soojin said. “nice meeting you yn.” He walked back up the stairs. “my gosh he’s so annoying.” She rolled her eyes.
“He’s okay.” You said. “please, you don’t know him, get to know him more, and you’ll be tired of him.” She guided you up the steps to her room — looking down the hall, seeing a quick glance of his back as he walked into his room, soojin pulling you into her.
“He’s so cute isn’t he?” soojin looked out her bedroom window; where sungchan and his friend played basketball in the front of their house. “and look at his abs.” you got up, looking out the window— both of them were out there, shirtless; but you only paid attention to sungchan, his toned six back, dripping in sweat as they played. “him and my brother have been friends since forever.” You nodded, not really paying attention, unable to keep your eyes off the older boy.
You were so focused on him, you didn’t even realize he was also staring back at you until you heard soojins voice, pulling you back to reality. “He’s looking up here, oh my god he’s so fucking fine.” You laughed at your friend, silently thanking god that she was too busy lusting over her brothers friend; to notice you lusting over her brother.
You heard the door shut, your friend jumping up. “let go downstairs so I can see him.” She pulled you up, dragging you down the stairs. “be calm he’s not here.” Your breath got caught in your throat, he was glistening with sweat. “he went to go pick up the pizza.” Your friends smile dropped. “ah! so annoying.” He heard your little giggle, turning to you — you were no longer wearing the sweater, giving him a full view of your white blouse that was unbuttoned, a sliver of pink from your bra peeking through the shirt, making him want to unbutton your shirt and get a full view. “when will he be back?”
The boy shrugged. “I don’t know, I also told him to stop by the market and get some beers and chips.” He said. “but i think he’ll be around an hour, might want to go fix that ugly face and outfit if you want his attention, im gonna shower. She slapped his chest as he walked upstairs. “asshole.”
“I have to go shower, yn make yourself a home.” She chirped. “we’re gonna eat out here with them.” She winked , running back up the stairs, leaving you in the kitchen. “she’s never ran that fast as long as I’ve known her.” You laughed to yourself, making your way into the living room.
15 minutes later; you saw sungchan walking back down the steps, shirt cut so you could see his rib cage — and a peek of his abs if you looked hard enough, and a pair of basketball shorts. “she’s still in the shower?” he asked, you nodded. He didn’t say anything, walking into the kitchen you turned to your hand, picking at your nails. “here.”
You looked up, he was now standing in front of you, a soda in his hands. “oh thank you.” He watched you open it, taking a sip, the red liquid falling past your lip, dripping down your chin. He chuckled to himself, sitting down right next to you. “so messy.” He said to himself.
“h-huh?” you asked, eyes wide open at how close he was. “you made a mess.” He said, your face was hot, you wipe your chin, sitting the soda down — he stared down at your thighs, watching you nervously picking at your skirt. “sorry.” He laughed, opening his water bottle. “no need to apologize.” You stared at his neck, watching his adams apple move as he drank the water, letting out a sigh, that sent your body off.
“So you must be new.” He said. “I know all my sister’s friends.” You nodded. “I-I moved here a few months ago.” God you were so cute; back at his university he was popular amongst the girls, going back to his shared apartment with shotaro, but none of them were like you — cute and nervous, so small and ready for him to ravish. “your sister was the only one to talk to me on my first day.” He listened to you talk. “she’s been a good friend to me.”
“I’m glad; if she hadn’t the I would’ve never gotten to meet you.” He said, you eyes jump to him, back to your knees. “so cute.” He said, you felt his hand come to your chin, lifting your head up to face him. “So shy cant even look me in the eye.” He chuckled. “I make you that nervous baby?”
You wanted to speak, but you were still stuck on the nickname that you couldn’t even focus, until you felt his hand caressing your cheek. “it’s okay baby I don’t bite.” He smirked. “I saw you looking at me earlier, you almost started drooling.” He teased. “I was looking at you too.” His thumb ran across your bottom lip, you let out a low whimper. “you sound so pretty just now.” He hummed. “I wonder what other noises I can get out of you.”
He was so close you could smell the scent of his shampoo and body wash flooding your nostrils; his arms trapping you, your eyes quickly flickering to his lips. “you want a kiss pretty girl?” you bit your lip, shyly nodding. “well then come get it.” He whispered. “wh-what?” he chuckled. “you want to kiss me right? So kiss me.” He watched your face get closer and closer to his, until he could feel your lips on his.
It was a quick peck, he almost laughed. “not like that.” He cradled your cheek, pulling you into a deeper kiss; you let him take charge, pulling you closer. His hand moved from your face, to your thigh, his hand inching up your skirt, you whimpered against his lips, he smirked pulling away. “keep making those noises pretty baby and your friend is gonna walk in on me doing something to your pretty body.” You could feel his lips on your neck, you let out a small moan. “su-sungchan.”
Fuck you sound so pretty moaning his name into his ear, his shirt balled up in your shaking hands; his cock begging to be freed — he knew he didn’t have more time, hearing the bathroom door open, the front door rattling open. “shit.” He pulled always, pulling your skirt down. “I got pizza!” shotaro entered the house, looking at the both of you. “am i — shotaro!”
You thanked the man above as your friend ran down the steps; distracting the man. “soojin , hey.” He smiled at the girl, you watched them interact. ‘he definitely likes her’ sungchan was too busy looking at you, your shirt was unbuttoned more, you’re a little ruffled; his hard cock jumping; you looked so ready to be fucked. “lets eat!” shotaro called out. “I’ll go get some plates.” Your friend said. “I’ll come too.” Shotaro following behind. “he definitely likes her.”
Sungchan quickly moved next to you, his hands on your chest, buttoning up your shirt. “you look so obvious baby.” He smiled, patting your hair down. “so cute.” He pulled away, leaving you breathless once again as soojin shotaro returned. “shotaro this is yn, my friend who just moved here.” You waved. “it’s nice to meet you.” Shotaro looked at the scene in front of him; shaking his head. “it’s nice to meet you yn.” You friend jumped. “oh yn, let’s go get some drinks from the kitchen.” You nodded, following behind her.
“She’s cute.” Sungchan turned to his friend. “nothing like your sister other friends, is that what you find attractive?” sungchan scoffed throwing a pillow at him. “please don’t act like I don’t see you flirting with my little sister.” He shrugged. “touché.”
You all sat around eating the pizza and talking; you watched your friend and shotaro flirt back and forth; occasionally turning back to sungchan who was already looking at you like he was ready to pounce on his, his presence making heat boil up in your stomach— your hands were so shaky, spilling some of your soda on your legs. “oh! yn you okay?” you nodded, sungchan reached over, grabbing a napkin. “here.” He patted your skirt, cleaning your legs, his hands lingering a little too long for your poor heart.
“look at you , trying to be a gentleman.” Soojin said. “too bad you’re actually a ogre under that.” You giggle, taking the tissue from his hand. “thank you.” He nodded, moving his hands from your legs. “I actually have to go soon, I have to help my mother out tomorrow.” shotaro said. “and it’s getting late and she’s a early bird.”
“I’ll come back soon.” He stood up. “let me walk you to your car.” Your friend said, he nodded. “nice to meet you yn.” You wave. “could you help put the trash away?” you could see your friend begging with her eyes. “yeah, i’ll help.” He picked up the empty pizza boxes, you grabbed the cans following behind him as your friend left out the door.
You threw the trash away, ready to walk back upstairs to wait for your friend so you could get ready for bed — but you were stopped by sungchan pulling back against him, you could feel his hard on against your ass. “you feel that?” he sighed. “you feel how much I want you pretty baby?” you pushed back against him, he groaned stopping you by grabbing your hips. “not right here fuck.” He was truly loosing the war. “when she goes to bed.” He pulled away, ready to feel your warmth again — what were you doing to him?
You could still feel him on you; smell his scent on your skin, even after you were showered and in your pajama — you could hear him groaning how much he wanted you as you listening to your friend go on and on about the kiss she shared outside with shotaro. “I felt butterflies.” You smiled watching her dopey smile. “he was so soft and sweet, it was perfect.”
“I knew he liked you, the moment you came down the steps.” You said watching her giggle, looking down at her phone. “he just text me good night, look!” you nodded. “has he asked you on a date yet?” she hummed. “next weekend.” She squealed, her face getting serious. “but enough of that, this is our weekend, time for us to have some girl time, I have face masks, nail polish and gems.” She said. “and a few movie and of course snacks.”
Many movies and snacks later; face masks washed off and your freshly painted pink nails, soojin was knocked out cold beside you; phone in her hand, you could still see the messages against her and shotaro. You pulled the blanket over her body, slowly making your way out the room, and down the hall to the bathroom.
You reached for the handle, but it was already open, you stepped back, revealing the boy who you longed for — his chest fully exposed, your eyes traveling down to his abs. “h-hi.”
He looked down at you outfit; his cock hardening once again in his basketball shorts, a big shirt eating your small frame straight up, coming down to your knees — it wasn’t his but he fucking wish it was, wanting to see you in his clothes as he fucked you. “nice pajamas pretty girl.” He smirked. “i’ll let you do what you need to do.” He moved to the side, letting you into the bathroom, closing the door.
You did what you needed to do; brushing your teeth, spitting into the sink, before making your way out of the bathroom. “where you goin?” you felt him coming up behind you. “she sleep?” you nodded, breathing heavily as you felt him feeling up your body. “good, cause im not going any longer without your pretty little body on mines.”
He took you by the hand, guiding you to his room, letting you in, closing the door behind him; turning to you, the lamp from his bedside giving you a good look at his darkening eyes. “been hard ever since earlier.” His hands came up to your face. “you’re so fucking cute baby.” He pulled you into a messy kiss; grabbing at your shirt, pulling away from you. “lift your arms up.” He breathed.
You slowly put your arms up, letting him pull the shirt over your head, throwing it to the floor, the cold air on your nipples, making them pebble up. “so cute.” He back you against the wall. “su-sungchan.” You moaned as he pinched your nipples. “keep making those noises for me.” He placed a kiss on your chest. “I wanna hear them all.”
Kissing down your stomach, he stopped at your pajama shorts, pulling them and your panties down in one go, also dropping down to his knees, your back arching off the wall. “such a tiny pussy baby.” He pushed your legs apart. “need to taste you.” You gasped out as you felt his breath on your heat. “su-su— oh my god.” You moaned out as licked a fat strip on your clit. “so good pretty.” You bawled your fist up, desperate to grab a hold of something.
He grabbed your hands without stopping his assault with his tongue, putting it in his hair, giving you leverage. “sh-shit sungchan.” You tugged at his hair, whining. “gonna cum.” His nosed brushed against your clit, humming against your cunt setting your orgasm off, grinding against his face as you came, legs shaking. “good girl.” He pulled away, kissing your cunt. “came so much for me.”
He stood up; now towering over you, making you feel small. “you want my cock pretty baby?” you nodded. “words baby, I want to hear you say it.” you whined. “ne-need you sungchan.” He that’s all he needed, to lift your body up like it was nothing holding you . “fuck you’re so adorable.” He pushed his shorts down to the ground. “need to feel you on my cock.” He grabbed the base of his length, his read leaky tip kissing your entrance. “gonna stretch this tiny cunt.”
You winced feeling his cock protruding your hole, both of your moan as he mounted you down on his cock. “fuck you’re so tight.” He groaned. “your tiny pussy barely taking my cock.” You moaned out. “so-so full.”
He moved his hips up, fucking you. “I knew I needed to fuck you the moment you walked through those doors.” He moaned. “so tiny, so cute.” He kissed your chest. “needed to see you struggling to my cock.”
He felt so addicted to you already, he knew this wouldn’t be the only time; shit the way you felt around his cock he probably would be able to have sex with another girl without thinking of you. “sh-shit pretty girl im gonna cum.” He groaned. “wanna feel my cum filling you up.” He flicked your nipples. “need to breed this pussy.”
“pl-please.” You whimpered into his ear, tears streaming down your face. “please come inside me.” He kissed your tear stained cheeks, his cock twitching inside you. “cum with me.” He sped up his movements, you came for the second time, feeling his cum entering you cunt. “fu-fuck take it all for me.”
His lips pressed against yours, as he held you in his arms, moving to his bed, laying you on your back — slowly pulling out, watching the cum leak from your puffy cunt. “so pretty, tiny pussy can’t keep all my cum inside.”
He wiped you down, cleaning you up, whispered sweet nothing as he got you dressed. “so, so pretty baby.” he kissed your lips softly— giving that this was your first day meeting him, you felt more loved by him than you did with your ex who you gave your virginity to.
“i don’t think this can be a one time thing.” Sungchan said, laying in bed next to you. “I don’t want this to be a one time thing.” You sat up, he followed sitting up on his elbows. “well you have to go back to university.” You said. “I know.” He frowned. “but we can still talk all the time, and it’s not like I won’t be here for the summer.” You said. “but summer is a while away.”
You nodded. “yeah, but we can still talk.” You smiled. “and we still have the weekend left.” You said. “let’s just have the weekend” He grabbed your hand, kissing it.
He'd figure it out before he went back to college cause he knew he couldn’t just have the weekend.
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©️LUVYENI
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love-that-we-were-in · 4 months
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indelible scars, pivotal marks
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pairing: luke castellan x implied apollo!reader
summary: you might be the only person who actually knows luke castellan. you don't think anyone else is willing to try.
a/n: what if i told you i got yelled at a lot after writing this. enjoy! oh this is also my first x reader in the 5 years i've been writing who cheered. have fun !
Luke is fourteen the first time he can remember sleeping through the night. He’s barely been at Camp Half-Blood for three hours, skin still splotched purple and blue, Thalia’s yells echoing in his skull. There’s no silence, a steady hum of nature that’s leveled by the voices of people he doesn’t know, and he knows he shouldn’t sleep. They’ve lost Thalia, left her just beyond the borders of an unknown place, and it’s a risk to welcome the flimsy pillow they gave him. He does it anyway, eyes closing to the sound of Annabeth’s soft breaths. 
The respite lasts one night.
By morning, he’s recounted the last five years more than he ever wanted to. Annabeth clings to him then, a known comfort. She knows the broad strokes of the story, could recount them herself, but there’s gaps from before her time, and there’s things Thalia made him swear not to tell. If she notices, she doesn’t comment, just keeps her fingers close to her side. He knows that’s where she keeps her dagger - he wonders if Chiron can tell as well.
Chiron brings them to Thalia, explains what happened and how lucky it is. Luke looks at the tree, the first time Thalia has stood taller than him since they met - something she always swore she would do one day - and leans back against it as Annabeth sobs into his shoulder. 
Mr D sends Annabeth to the Athena cabin before lunch. Luke doesn’t need to be told to make his way to Cabin 11. He knows who his father is. His backpack is left at the base of a bed in the far corner of the room, a group of boys gathered around the area turning to watch him the second he walks in. They move away but they don’t stop their stares.
Sleep doesn’t come as easily to him that night.
*
You meet Luke Castellan when you’re fifteen, standing on the edge of the lake as a golden sun rises in the horizon. It’s your first morning at camp, your first morning admiring the sunrise in months, and you think you could find a home here. Within the hour, you’re sure the calm won’t be the same – too many kids in the same space, swords and satyrs and strawberries guiding the day along – but for now there’s sunlight. 
“Breakfast isn’t for two more hours,” someone says from behind you. It should be scarier than it is, put you on high alert with the way he creeps into the space without a sound. “Just in case someone forgot to mention that.”
He’s pretty. Strong chin, dark eyes. On most people you’ve met, that’s where pretty ends. Not him. There’s this way he stands in your periphery; comfortable in his worn camp t-shirt, like he was made to live in it, to have it define him for an eternity. Very few people are pretty in a way that speaks of forever.
“I like to watch the sunrise.” 
He hums. “I’m Luke.”
He waits, steps away, until you offer him a seat beside you on the grass. It was something you were told once, an eclectic art teacher draped in shawls and chunky jewelry, how the sun is only as beautiful as it is when shared with another. As Luke sits next to you, you enjoy the quiet you’re positive isn’t built to last.
*
Luke becomes a counselor that summer. Everyone saw it coming, the way he’s known to everyone and not just the Hermes kids. Whispers of a legacy, of a potential legend in the making, followed him already, two years at camp creating grand ideas for his future – counselor status just helps to further them. It’s not that big of a deal normally. It’s potentially defining when you’re the best swordsman in almost three hundred years.
You find him on his way back from the Big House that evening, heading in no particular direction but with a clear idea of where he doesn’t want to be. It’s something you’ve learnt to read in the last few weeks, the way Luke fluctuates. How he dips in and out of personas as if it’s possible to switch them out. It comes with renown, you suppose. 
“Counselor Castellan, is it?” 
He smiles something bitter. “So they tell me.”
Without hesitation, you take hold of his hand. It’s warmer than yours and you feel the difference in your bloodstream. Luke doesn’t look at you, doesn’t comment, and you lead him away from the cabins and down to the lake. 
There’s maybe an hour until sunset. You’re almost attuned to it now, mornings spent watching it with rapt attention. Luke normally joins you, sword dropped between you. Some mornings, the thud of metal onto stone is the only reason you know he’s arrived, still so silent in his arrival that you wonder if it’s on purpose. 
“Does it make you anxious?” You ask when the silence stretches on for too long, when Luke stares unblinkingly at the horizon for longer than he should. He blinks, irises shifting from a glassy bronze and back to muted brown as the film clears. “Did they even ask if it was something you wanted?” 
He scoffs and you wonder if this is where everything changes. Luke always has things he wants to say, balancing on the tip of his tongue until he figures out how to swallow them down and burn them. It’s like you can see it play out in real time, his jaw shifting, arm tensing.
“Mr D told me it was a great honor. Chiron told me it was long overdue.” 
“You weren’t given a chance to say no.”
It’s a pattern you’ve noticed, not just within camp but with all the Gods. Clarisse was sent a spear with no note, but everyone knew who had sent it. Annabeth’s hat was exactly the same. Gifts. All gifts. No receipts or return addresses provided. Life at camp was something to be grateful for, always, considering the alternative most of you had already been forced to live. To comment on it would make you an enemy of those too powerful to consider.
Looking at the tense set of Luke’s shoulders, you kind of want to say it anyway.
“I’m about to have all the glory Camp Half-Blood could offer me,” Luke says and the sun begins to dip below the surface of the lake. His palm is warm in yours again. “Why would I complain?”
*
There’s a flurry of new arrivals no one anticipated the next summer They come in pairs, mostly, with the odd trio. Always one unclaimed within the group. Always one who gets marched to Cabin 11 in the middle of the night, sometimes after hours of questioning.
You know the nights that it’s happened, taking in the way Luke’s movements are less sharp, the way he breathes more shallowly. A conservation of energy. It doesn’t affect you much until it does, the sharp sting of Luke’s sword on your arm as he loses his footing, turns too suddenly at the sound of your footsteps. 
“This is insane,” you say as you press your shirt into the cut. It’s not bad, something that will heal quickly and fade into nothingness, but Luke locks his gaze on the red dotting your skin as if he doesn’t understand how it got there. “They can’t keep waking you up in the middle of the night for this.”
“The only other place they can go is the med bay and none of them have been beaten up badly enough to be worth waking an Apollo kid.”
“I’ve seen some of the kids when they’ve gotten here, Luke,” you mutter, shirt hem dropping as the wound stops bleeding. You glance up at him. “They could do with being patched up.” 
He sinks down to the floor. You stay on your feet. “This is what I signed up for when I took the position.”
There’s this way Luke’s voice gets sometimes, sharp and low and just a little spiteful. A build-up of years with little mercy granted. That’s how it is now, speaking through clenched teeth, completely biting back the vitriol and pretending there’s no heat to his words. 
He’s always been pretty in the sunrise, from the day you met, but you think he might be prettiest right now – lying to himself more than he can lie to you in the moments before there’s any sunlight at all. When you would let darkness spill into itself, Luke forces light to filter in. If you caught him at the darkest hour, you wonder if that would remain.
Taking in the way he digs his nail into the fabric of his pants, you doubt even he would know how to stop himself then. 
*
You aren’t chosen for Luke’s quest. He finds you after the ceremony, face pulled taut and bag thrown over his shoulder already. There’s no regret in his eyes, no determination either. You stand straighter when you hear him approach, grateful that he cared enough not to take you by surprise for once. 
“Don’t be mad at me.” 
“Why would I be mad?” You say. It’s disingenuous to your own ears, the way it pitches, so you fold your arms across your chest. “Chris and Ethan will be great questmates. A band of brothers.”
Luke swallows. “Is that really what you think this is? That I wanted to make my quest a guys trip?”
“I don’t think anything of it, Luke.” 
In the middle of the day, you can see him clearest. See the golden boy of Camp Half-Blood the way everyone else does. In broad daylight, there’s few things more noticeable on Luke Castellan. The slope of his nose, the straightness of his back, the comfortable weight of his sword on his hip – almost a tether to who he proclaims himself to be. It’s your least favorite version of him.
“I would’ve chosen you. In a heartbeat, I would’ve chosen you,” he says, brown eyes shifting from dim to desperate in moments. A plea to be heard. You know you’re the only one to ever truly listen when he speaks.
“Doesn’t really seem that way.”
“I just needed a reason to come back when it’s over.”
It stills the air around you. The words tangle themselves together in your brain, drown out the archers in the distance, the birds overhead. They echo and twist and they maintain their tone, the low pitch Luke uses when he’s decided to say something he doesn’t want to be heard. They bury themselves in the corner with the other times he’s used it, forever ingrained, and you don’t know what to make of them. How to define them at all.
He waits, gaze firm, until you nod slightly. You keep your chin low, determined to give little satisfaction to the situation. To Hermes giving Luke a reused quest, to the possibility of losing him because you aren’t there. It curdles deep in your gut, refusing to remain unknown.
There’s a moment where Luke hesitates, his hand twitching slightly, arm moving minutely higher from where it hangs down by his waist. Instead, his fist clenches and he exhales long and low. 
“Promise to be here when I get back?” 
“I’ll be really annoyed if you’re not the one knocking on my cabin door.”
He turns back to face you after he joins Chris and Ethan at the border. They’re all capable, with a history of working together. They’ll succeed, return to praise and glory and everything they deserve to have. The sun beats down on Luke as he nods goodbye and you wonder if it shines on anyone else at all.
*
The scar becomes a part of him. 
It fades into his skin with time, going from raised and rotten to a streak of pale across his cheek. You overhear some of the Ares kids praising it as symbolic of his win, a prize of sorts, and some of the Aphrodite kids saying it makes him more appealing, makes him look stronger. You’re not sure what you think of it, tracing it with gentle fingers as it heals. 
It becomes a habit, running a knuckle down Luke’s cheek each morning. Feeling where the skin tied itself back together. He never comments. You want to ask if he minds, that you’ll stop if it’s too much. The first few times you did it, in the days right after his return, he had flinched, features pinching together. Your hand had dropped, all too aware of the matted skin, how it probably still ached but Luke had taken your hand and placed it back where it had been. 
His scar becomes a statement, a badge of skill that everyone at camp can recognise. There had been little debate on the truth of his swordsmanship before but now it hardly existed, undeniable proof the first thing people noticed when introduced to him. 
Most people don’t bother to ask Luke about it. Percy Jackson isn’t most people.
“You got attacked by a dragon?” 
It’s the first time in years that anyone has joined you and Luke at the lake this early. Annabeth used to, on the rare occasions the worst of her nightmares returned. It’s different with Percy, like being close to the water rewires him completely. It makes sense days later when you watch him push open the door to the empty Cabin 3.
“Last year,” Luke hums, one hand resting softly in yours and the other keeping a loose grip on the sword handle in his lap. Percy had wanted to see him in action after hearing the stories, so you’d both obliged. “I made a wrong call and I paid for it.”
“At least it looks pretty cool.” 
The way Percy says it is different to everyone else. It’s not ingrained with this odd lust, whether for adventure or the story or Luke himself. It’s more muted, a fact of life. He’s not saying it to make anyone feel better – he’s saying it to disregard. A scar is just a scar to Percy Jackson, as if he’s known too many to care.
“I guess it kind of is,” Luke says and the three of you listen to the morning begin.
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sometimesanalice · 4 months
Text
I Like Your Cinema
Synopsis: Bradley wasn’t sure why you wanted to see the movie again, especially when neither one of you had particularly liked it the first time you’d seen it together. But when you’re tugging down his zipper, things start to make a lot more sense.
Pairing: Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw X Female Reader
Length: 6K
Warnings: Unapologetic Smut (minors dni)
(author's note: this fic is set in the 'Like I Can Universe', but can be read on it's own! )
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Bradley wasn’t expecting to find himself rolling up to the mostly empty movie theater parking lot at 11am on a sunny Saturday morning. But here he was.
He’d had to exercise more self-control than he knew he was capable of when you’d all but skipped out his front door wearing the tightest pair of jeans he’d ever seen. It was all he could do to follow after you to the Bronco, his eyes glued to all of your denim clad curves, instead of pulling you right back into bed with him like he wanted to.
In the passenger’s seat next to him, you’re surprisingly upbeat for someone who was only running off of two cups of coffee instead of the usual three you needed to become a semblance of a functional human being. You’d happily hummed along to the songs playing on the radio the whole ride to the theater.
The two of you had already seen the movie a few weeks ago. It had been fine, but they’d clearly used the funniest moments in the trailer as a way to get people in the seats. It wasn’t one he was particularly interested in seeing again in theaters, but he’d never been good at refusing you. Not when he was younger and certainly not now. So if you wanted to see it he’d be there seated right next to you, just the way he liked to be.
Although Bradley was still trying to remember just when last night it was that the two of you had talked about going to see a matinee showing of it again. He can only guess that it must have slipped his mind after the way you’d come on his mouth.
Less than an hour ago you were hustling him into the shower, he was thinking he was about to get lucky until you’d told him to hurry up or the two of you would be late.
“Wait, late for what, kid?” he’d asked confused. To his knowledge other than meeting up with Mav and Penny for dinner later that night, your Saturday was wonderfully free of plans.
He was getting used to having more morning of waking up with you than less. In his bed, in your bed. There was nothing he like more than feeling all your warm skin under his palm before the sun was up. After so many years on hard beds, it was your softness he was always seeking out still half asleep before getting up for the day.
He’s learned so many things about you from a lifetime of friendship, but he’s only had a couple of months learning what makes you sigh and gasp and keen and come.
It was one thing to know that you weren’t a morning person, regardless of how much you claimed you to be one, and another to see your adorably sleepy pout first thing in the morning with the pillow crease still etched on your cheek.
Bradley liked knowing what your preferred brand of toothpaste was and how many steps were in your bedtime routine. For as well as he’s always known you, there was so much more to discover and he was loving every new bit of you he got to uncover.
He liked your cozy apartment filled with all your pretty things and framed pictures on the walls. He’d never thought of getting a rug for in front of the sink in the kitchen until he was doing the dishes one night at your place, that night he’d ordered one for himself. However, he’d rather see your impressive shoe collection next to his minimal assortment of boots and sneakers in the closet of his condo.
More often than not, you were coming to his place with a tote bag full of your things, spare clothes and travel sized products. He didn’t want you to feel like a visitor passing through, he wanted to be your home. He was still working out how to ask you to move in with him, but he’ll figure it out. He always does.
He wanted more mornings, more nights, more days with you.
“For the movie,” you’d said slowly, looking at him deliberately. Tilting your head at him like his confusion was confusing you.
“Sweet girl, what movie? When did we talk about this? I literally don’t remember.”
The exasperated sigh that came out of you would have been funny if he hadn’t been wracking his brain trying to catch up with something he didn’t realize he was missing to begin with.
“Bradley, come on,” you huffed, petulantly, “We talked about it before bed last night. You said you’d come with me, I already bought the tickets for it.” You wiggle your phone at him like it’ll somehow help to jog his memory.
Well, that explains it. You’d done a number on him last night.
“Last night, huh?” he smirked, grabbing your hips and pulling you to him, “Was this before or after I coaxed you into sitting on my face?” Bradley chuckled at the bashful look that coasted over your face as you shoved at his shoulder lightly, but he’d just tugged you in closer, “Awh, c’mon, don’t get shy on me. It was hot.”
He liked being the one that gets to make you all flustered.
You just shook your head at him, not taking the bait, “It was after.”
“Well if it was after then you can’t blame me for not retaining that conversation.  You should know by now that you can’t hold me to whatever comes out of my mouth when I’m still pussy dru-”
“Don’t be crass,” you’d tutted at him, tugging at the hem of his worn Navy shirt.
He slides his thumbs under your shirt, letting them skim over the soft skin above your underwear, “We both know how much you like this mouth, especially when it’s ‘crass’.”
You’d hummed at him- admitting nothing, denying nothing - before a mischievous grin overtook your face, “That’s a good a tidbit to know though, seems like the kind of thing that could work in my favor for the future.”
Those dimples would be the end of him.
“Troublemaker,” he’d said, pulling off his shirt and dropping it onto the bathroom floor.
You weren’t subtle about the way you checked him out, “What are you going to do about it?”
The sweatpants came off next and your eyes weren’t anywhere near his face when he replied, “Come get in the shower with me and I’ll show you real quick.”
You’d sauntered up to him slowly. And for a moment he thought you were going to reach for his cock, instead you’d grabbed a fluffy white towel and pressed it into his chest, “Not going to happen, Bradshaw. We’ve got a date with seats F9 and F10 in 40 minutes. Chop-chop, pretty boy.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Although, it didn’t stop him from snapping the towel at your ass when you’d spun away in your triumph.
He’s given up trying to remember the conversation from the night before or when you bought the tickets because you are happily tugging him towards the doors to the theater and he’d do just about anything to see the pretty curve of your smile.
Including seeing the action comedy that had one too many explosion sequences and a car that ends up in space for whatever reason.
The last time he made a fuss about you not letting him be the one to buy something for the two of you, you’d given him a look that had nearly pinned him to the damn wall and then said: “Don’t be a caveman. It’s not the 1950’s, I am allowed buy you things too.”
He’d hate to be called anti-feminist, so he was trying to get better about letting you pamper him in your own ways. But that didn’t stop him from trying to be the first one to reach for a credit card every chance he got. You were his girl and he couldn’t help himself.
Bradley opens the door for you and is hit with the smell of freshly popped popcorn. He looks down at you in time to watch as your nose scrunches the same way it always has in all the years that he’s known you.
Once the tickets on your phone are scanned by the yawning teen at the podium in the lobby entry, you’re lacing your fingers between his again, “Let’s get some snacks.”
“How are you even hungry right now?” He’d made the two of you a big breakfast to recoup some energy after being thoroughly worn out by you last night. So he doesn’t know how you even have junk food on the brain right now.
“We’re at the movie theater, Bradley, we’re legally required to get something with some Red Dye 40 and an obscene amount of sugar in it.”
“My bad, you’re right.”
“Of course, I am,” you preen.
He huffs an amused laugh as you lead him to concessions stand. It’s early enough that there’s only one person working the counter. The two of you get in line behind the family with three small kids who have their faces and little hands pressed against the glass display with all the colorful boxes of candies excitedly making their selections.
Bradley is watching as you mull over the choices on the flat screen TVs displaying the theaters offerings, your lips quirked to the side deep in thought. As he watches you, it dawns on him that the two of you will have plenty of time after the movie to run a few errands before they meet Mav and Penny for dinner.
“Hey, I was thinking about getting for a new dresser. I think mine might be too small now that all my things are here in San Diego now. If you’re up for it afterwards, do you want to come help me pick one out? Anything outside of IKEA is bit outside my area of expertise.”
With your help over the last few months, he’s been picking up a few new things to make his place feel more like a home and less like something temporary. Like some throw pillow for the couch, some nicer towels for the bathroom that all match. All little things but he liked that your fingerprints were all over his place even when you weren’t there with him.
“Oh yeah?” you say as you turn your face to look up at him, eyes alight with interest, “I’d be happy to, it’ll be fun! I can think of at least 5 places off the top of my head. You’re in good hands, trust me.”
“Don’t I know it,” he winks and drops a kiss on your cheek.
When it’s your turn to order you get a Cherry Coke for yourself and a Root Beer for him. Along with a bag of gummy bears, a box of Milk Duds, and a packet of Red Vines. But it’s your final request that surprises him.
“Oh, and a large popcorn, please,” you say with a smile.
He peers down at you quizzically, “But you hate popcorn.”
“What are you talking about? No, I don’t.” He just gives you a skeptical lift of his eyebrow. “Ok, maybe in the past,” you allow, with a little nonchalant shrug of your shoulder, “But today I want some, it sounds good.”
Bradley has never in his life seen you eat anything other than the homemade stuff from on a stovetop, but at the determined tip of your chin he isn’t about to press it. You’ve always been the type of girl who knows what she wants. And gets it.
“Whatever you want, kid,” he says handing over his credit card to the girl behind the counter. Feeling more than a little pleased with himself as she swipes it since you’re still trying to reach for your wallet in your purse.  
You smile and shake your head at him as you press that overly large bucket of popcorn into his chest for him to take, it’s shiny and yellow with artificial butter. You grab a stack of the thin, single-ply napkins and stuff them into your purse before grabbing the rest of the goods from off the fingerprint covered counter.
He trails after you popping a few salty buttery pieces into his mouth, admiring the curve of your ass in those jeans. His own personal preshow entertainment.
The seats you had grabbed were to the left side in the very back row of one of the smaller theaters that are usually reserved for movies about to hit on-demand and streaming services. Bradley can’t say he’s too surprised that the zoom kaboom movie isn’t going to have a long theatrical run.
It doesn’t escape his notice the way you set his drink in the cup holder on the left side of his assigned seat, your own soda going into the cup holder on your right before you settle into your own seat. It’s the little things you do for him, like putting his cup on his dominant side or stocking the fridge at your place with his favorite beer, that make him fall more and more for you every day.
The two of you get competitive when the movie trivia segment plays. You’re a split second faster than him blurting out Matt Damon in Ocean’s Twelve and securing your win against him. Your victory shimmy in your seat is cut short when a man comes walking down the aisle heading towards the front row of the theater.
Bradley plays a couple rounds of the beer pong game on his phone that you always tease him about in between eating handfuls of popcorn waiting for the lights to dim and the movie to start. He offers you the bucket, but you press it back towards him and tell him you’ll have some later.
He thinks he catches the movie app with the seating chart from the corner of his eye, but you’re probably just closing it out from using it to get the tickets scanned earlier. But you’re more fidgety than normal. It’s only after he clocks you pulling your phone for the third time that he asks, “You seem antsy, you ok?”
“I’m just excited to see the movie again,” you reply, putting your phone on airplane mode and tucking it back into your purse.
“I didn’t realize you liked it so much.”
“Well, I did. I think you’ll like it more this time too, it takes at least two watches to catch all the nuances.”
“I didn’t realize a Kevin Hart movie could have so many layers,” he jokes as the lights turn down.
“You shush, it’s starting.”
As the opening sequence plays, you push up the armrest between the two of you to lean your head on his shoulder, curling into him as much as you can. When you rest your hand on his stomach he decides this might be his new favorite way to spend a Saturday morning, with you pressed against him in a darkened room and breathing in the smell of your shampoo.
Bradley isn’t surprised in the least when you turn down his offer of popcorn again 20 minutes later when it’s revealed the best friend in the movie is actually a rogue CIA agent. He smirks to himself when you push until its resting on top of the thigh furthest away from you. He couldn’t wait to tease you about it after the movie was over.
As the movie builds to the first big action sequence, your hand slowly slides lower down his stomach. It’s all he can to do try and focus on the movie in hopes of distracting himself from getting a hard-on like some horny teenager rather than the grown ass man that he is.
But then right as the chase scene through the crowded streets of London starts, you’re popping open the button on his jeans and tugging down his zipper.
And then you’re pulling out his now very hard cock.
“Oh, shit.”
Your delicate fingers are teasing along the length of him with a featherlight touch. He couldn’t care less about the half a million-dollar car on screen that’s on its way to the junkyard with the way it’s getting destroyed, and is entirely enthralled by the way your hand looks loosely wrapped around his cock as you toy with him.
“This ok?” you ask quietly, in a way that has him wanting to flutter his eyes closed. Your thumb sweeps slowly along under the flare of his head in the way you know he likes.
He’s always been a bit adventurous, he likes the adrenaline rush both in the air and on the ground, and he was learning you were too. You’d never come so quick for him as you did the night in the parking lot of the Hard Deck when the fire alarm went off unexpectedly causing everyone to start flooding out as you were riding his cock in the driver’s seat of the Bronco.
Bradley had never been more thankful to have arrived late enough that he’d had to park on the other side of the dumpsters. The only person who was allowed to see you undone and unraveled was him.
“So fucking ok, sweet girl,” he rasps as soundlessly as he can. The one other person in the theater with them is quite a few rows ahead of them, but he wasn’t about to give away what was going on in the back row of Auditorium 17 at the AMC Chula Vista 10.
“Shh, don’t you know talking during a movie is rude, Bradley?” you whisper into the shell of his ear. And god does he want to laugh, but he has to grit his teeth together to hold back the moan he’s desperate to release when you more firmly grasp him in your hand.
He already knows that is something that’s going to keep him occupied on those nights the two of you spend apart. Something to dream about on a cramped bunk bed on a carrier in the middle of the ocean when he is thousands of miles away from you.
You and your pleased smile and your hand on his cock.
There’s no way he could have prepared himself for the way you lean over him and lick up the length of him with a broad stroke of your tongue.
You’ve got one hand at the base of him and the other braced on his thigh supporting you. He’s clutching at the rim of that damn bucket of popcorn like it’s a lifeline as you drop wet, open mouthed kisses along his cock.
His pulse is thrumming in his throat and he can’t quite remember how to push the air out of his lungs. He’s had years of learning specialized breathing techniques and it all flies out of his mind at the stroke of your hand and the bob of your head and the swirl of your tongue.
Bradley is desperate to see you face, there’s nothing he loves more than looking into your eyes when you’re treating him to your perfect mouth. It’s not possible at this angle, but he gathers your hair into his fist so that he can see your lips stretched around him. He’s not guiding your motions, he just wants a better look at you. Even in the dimly lit auditorium, he can see how spit-slicked you’ve gotten him.
You’re taking as much of him as you can, with each dip of your head more and more of him disappears into your hot mouth.
And when he hits the back of your throat he nearly loses his mind.
“Jesus,” he curses up to the ceiling, throwing his head back and trying not to pant. Thankfully in time with some explosion on screen and he knows without a doubt that you’d done it at that moment on purpose.
You pull off of him and the string of spit glinting between your lips and his cock is going to fuel his one-handed fodder for the next month. He watches in rapt until its pulled taut enough to break. Your lips are shiny and wet, there’s a satisfied smile on your face as you take him in, still pumping him with your hand.
Your teeth graze his earlobe, and goosebumps erupt along his forearms. Your words hushed so that only he could hear them. Only meant for him. “God, Bradley, you’re so good to me. You’ve always been so good to me.”
“Sweet girl,” he whispers, roughly. His chest is tight with his sheer want of you.
You kiss his cheek, “Just enjoy the movie, Bradley.” Your hand is gliding up and down his shaft easily, your thumb skimming over his sensitive head on every upstroke.
Your tongue dips out to lave at the divot at the base of his neck and you nudge him with your nose in a silent request. He leans his head back along the red velvet seat and angles himself away to give you all the access to column of his throat. With his eyes tightly squeezed closed, every touch feels that much more heightened to him. Your hot breath on his throat is at stark contrast to the air conditioning wafting through the auditorium.
The feel of your lips mouthing and sucking and licking along him is worth any shit he’d get if he goes onto base on Monday wearing your handiwork on his neck. He’d do those extra push-ups with pride.
He looks down to where your hand is working him in smooth strokes, your fingertips not touching until they reach the from ridge of the head of his cock. He knows he’s not small by any means, but in your hands he looks huge.
It feels so wrong and so right. The movie is loud enough to cover any slick sounds your hand is making and the other person is far enough away that there’s no way the two of you will be caught, not above the surround sound of screeching tires on pavement and the shattering of glass.
Your lips graze his ear, “You always know just what I need and what to say. You make feel so seen and so special.” With every generous word, his heart hammers harder and harder against his ribs. Your sweet voice and your hand working his cock have him dizzy with need. “And it’s not just me. I don’t miss the way you check to see if anyone else needs a drink before you go to get another one or the way you’re always the first to help when someone needs an extra set of hands. It’s so hot the way you take care of everyone.”
Bradley’s face feels warm, he’s sure he’s flushed pink. He’s trying to keep his breathing under control, but you’re making it difficult for him. He’s never shied away from the praise that comes with his career, he’s worked and sacrificed for that. But with you, he never wants to stop earning it from you.
“You’re so damn handsome,” you hum, your lips brushing over one of the scars on his neck, the ones he’s never told you the full story about just how he got them. “I’ve never been so desperate for someone before, I want you all the time. I didn’t know it could be like this, Bradley. I lo-like you so much.”
He breathes your name unevenly.
He didn’t realize how hungry he was for those three words from you until just now. He’s loved you his whole life, in the affectionate way that friends do, but it’s been increasingly clear to him over these last few months that he is also in love with you.
Bradley already knew he was never going to feel the same way about anyone else the way he feels about you.
He’s never felt more himself than he does with you. You know the best parts of him and the worst, you’ve been there and seen it all. He doesn’t have to just be Rooster or Lieutenant Bradshaw all the time. He can just be.
It’s never been like this for him before either. He’s always orbited around your sun, but now you’re his whole universe.
He loses himself to the sound of your voice and pretty praise, soft and low, and to the feel of your lips and tongue on his skin as you work his cock in the way that he knows is going to have him seeing stars soon.
Bradley can feel your grin against his neck right before you drag your teeth down the column of his throat, “No one has ever fucked me as good as you do. I’ve never come so hard as I do with you.” 
He has to swallow down the groan that almost escapes him as he jerks into your hand as a tidal wave of masculine pride crashes into him.
Damn right you do.
You are his girl.
He knows your body. He knows you.
His. His. His.
Yours. Yours. Yours.
A cough from the front of the auditorium startles the both of you. The tension makes his throat tight, but when it’s followed by a sniffle rather than a second more pointed noise, the two of you know you’re safe to continue.
“Bradley.” He can hear the request in the way you say his name. With no minimal effort, he cracks his eyes open and turns his head to you. Half of your pretty face is illuminated by the movie playing in front of the two of you.
Holding his gaze, you slowly stick your shiny, pink tongue out to him and he almost comes on the spot.
He can see the playful dare in your eyes and the wicked curve of the corners of your mouth around your waiting tongue.
You know exactly what you are doing to him. A menace, his favorite menace.
His favorite person.
Bradley leans over and cups your jaw in his hand, his thumb skimming along your cheek right before he spits into your open mouth.
You let him admire his handiwork for a moment and then you wink at him.
It’s in that instant that he knows he’s played right into your winning hand because you’re leaning back down over his cock and letting the combination of his spit and yours drip right on to the top of him.
The two of you watch as the thick dribble slowly slides off and down, down guided by the thick vein along the length of him.
When it reaches the base of his cock, your mouth is chasing after it as you take him right down to the hilt.
His stomach and thighs are tensing with the strain of holding himself back when you hollow your cheeks around him. He almost doesn’t want to give in just yet, but the feel of your soft lips and the firm strokes of your hand on him is just too good.
That pressure that has been steadily building behind his bellybutton is too hard to ignore. He’s so close now. You must be able to tell he’s right there too because you’re humming around him in that way that makes his lower stomach and inner thighs coil in anticipation. He reaches for your leg, driven by the overwhelming need to touch you. Bradley can feel all your soothing warmth through your painted on jeans under his palm.
And with a tricky twist of your wrist at the base of his cock as you tongue at the firm ridge of him, he spills into your perfect mouth as you finish him off.
Bradley’s mind goes blank with pleasure as it hits him like a sucker punch. 
It’s intense. It’s a rush. It’s all because of you.
Spent and sated he melts further into the comfortable movie theater seat as you clean what cum you couldn’t swallow with your tongue, laving at him until you were content before tucking him back into his boxer briefs.
He doesn’t know how he made it through that without sending that giant bucket of popcorn to the floor, but the rim of it is noticeable crumbled on one side. He balances it on his leg as he adjusts himself and rebuttons his jeans.
When he looks over at you, you’re popping a Milk Dud into your mouth like a prize for a job well done. And you grin widely at him.
“C’mere,” he murmurs, affectionately pulling you back to him. He kisses the top of your head as you tuck yourself into his chest, that box of candy clutched in your hand.
The rest of the movie passes in a hazy blur as his heartrate returns to normal while he plays with the ends of your hair.
He tries offering you the popcorn again, but once again you push it away. This time he does laugh and you tilt your head up and press a soft kiss at the base of his throat. He can’t help but smile to himself every time you hold up one of the chocolate-covered caramel candies up for him to eat, your eyes never leaving the screen.
And this time, he’s not even annoyed when they misidentify the Immelmann Turn for a Barrel Roll Attack. Although how they got a Pontiac Fiero airborne is still beyond him.  
When the man in the front row leaves as the credits start rolling he turns to you, “Well, you were right, sweet girl. I think that might be my new favorite movie.”  
Your smile is beaming, but your laugh is even brighter.
He still can’t believe that just happened, but he’s already planning to preorder the damn collector’s edition Blu-ray the second he can. “Can I ask what brought that on?”
“You keep trying to get handsy with me at the library, but you know I can’t desecrate the books. Knowledge is power, Bradley. But I figured this was something you might like too.”
“Are you telling me you brought me here for the sole purpose of getting me off in the back row, kid?
“I am and I did,” you preen.
Bradley chuckles and leans over for a kiss. It’s soft and sweet.
He pulls away and looks into your eyes, grinning he asks, “So you like me, huh?” He knows he’s probably pressing his luck, but he’s willing to take a gamble if it means he gets to hear that from you again.
You press you lips together trying to fight back your own smile, “I’m not saying those three words to you for the first time after blowing you in the back row of an AMC, Bradshaw.”
“Is it just the AMC then?” he teases, setting his bucket of popcorn to the side before pulling you into his lap. Your knees balanced on the seats to either side of him as you settle on him, “Because we could hit up a Regal if that’s more your speed. Or-”
“Bradley,” you laugh, trying to cover his mouth with your hand.
He catches it in his and presses a quick kiss to your palm, “And what if I told you I like you too? Would that change anything?”
It’s no secret what he really means. He knows what almost slipped out of your mouth. But if you’re not quite ready to say it then he can be patient. You’re more than worth the wait.
Bradley sees the way your eyes light up and the way your smile gets even wider only a sliver of a second before you’re ducking down to eagerly kiss him.
For a moment he feels like he is a teenager again, making out with his girlfriend in the back of a movie theater without anyone around. Wild and reckless and carefree.
Your hands slide up his chest and into his hair, your nails on his scalp have him sinking further into the seat. His hands grip your ass, just like the way he’s by dying to touch you since he saw you in them this morning. He takes advantage of your gasp to slide his tongue against yours. He didn’t know that happiness tasted like the Cherry Coke you had been sipping on, but it does and he can’t get enough of it.
He probably would have kept on kissing you if it were for the pointed clearly of a throat that has the two of you flying apart like you’ve both been electrocuted. The teen standing in the aisle just awkwardly lifts up the broom and dust pan.
You bite your lip to keep from giggling at getting caught as you scramble off of his lap collecting your things, hastily shoving the candy back in your purse and babbling a sorry, sorry that he personally didn’t think sounded too terribly apologetic. He’s quick to follow your lead, checking his pockets to make sure he still had his wallet and keys, not forgetting to grab that large cardboard popcorn bucket as you head for the double doors to the auditorium.
The two of you manage to keep it together until the swinging door closes behind and then you’re bursting out into a fit of laughter in the hallway.
“Oh my god, Bradley, I’m mortified,” you giggle into his chest, “We can never come back here.”
“Nah, I’m sure that’s not the first time that kid has busted people for necking in the back row. Plus this is the best reviewed AMC in the area,” he says with a grin, dropping his arm over your shoulders. “Hey, I’ve still got at least half a bucket of popcorn left should we make it a double feature? I’m more than happy to return the favor. Those jeans of yours might make it a little difficult, but I’m up for the challenge.” He gives you a playfully suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.
“Maybe next time,” you grin, reaching up and threading your fingers through his to tug him towards the exit. “I am worried we might be arrested for public indecency if we stay here a second longer.”
He tosses the popcorn bucket into the trash as the two of you pass by the concession stand on your way out.
“Ok, kid, but I have to know, why did you order the biggest size they had if you weren’t going to eat it too? We both know you hate movie theater popcorn.”
“You’re not allowed to tease me if I tell you.”
“I promise not to tease you,” he says holding open the door for you.
“I thought it might help to block any potential wandering eyes,” you admit, blushingly, “Just in case, there was any last-minute Kevin Hart super fans who wanted to go to a matinee first thing in the morning.”
He tips his head back and laughs, “She’s smart and pretty.”
“And you like me for it,” you say, squeezing his hand in yours.
“Oh, I more than like you for it, sweet girl,” he confirms.
Any other plans he had for the day are forgotten when you press him against the Bronco for another thorough kiss.
It was a miracle the two of you weren’t late meeting Penny and Mav later that night.
He still wants to get a new dresser, he wants you to have a place to put things in his home. But if his girlfriend wants to spend the rest of their Saturday in bed together, who is he to deny you.
Not when he knows you like him.
You don’t make him wait long to hear it though.
They are the first three words he heard out of your mouth the next morning.
And it is without a doubt the best thing he’s ever heard in his life.
Nothing has ever felt as easy or as right to him as it does saying it back to you against your smiling lips.
I love you I love you I love you I love you
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Shout out to the AMC Chula Vista 10! They're the real MVP here. Bradley and Sweet Girl definitely return, and the next time she wears a dress 🤗
A big thank you to Jordan (@gretagerwigsmuse) for being the ultimate hype girl, I know when the vibes are right when the ALL CAPS come out. Ames (@laracrofted) you saved the day with the color edit for the banner, thank you! And Elle (@callsignspark), you know what you did and I thank you for letting me join you on the 'spit in my mouth' agenda, haha!
If you enjoyed these two, you can read their story from the start here!
You can read my other stories here!
Tag list:
@gretagerwigsmuse @sehnsuchts-trunken @notroosterbradshaw @tongue-like-a-razor @laracrofted @bradshawsbitch @starryeyedstories @top-hhun-main @startrekfangirl2233 @callsign-viper @teacupsandtopgun @shanimallina87 @angelbabyange @oneelleandaneye @mizzzpink @cornishkat @alana4610 @20th-centu-fairy-girl @pono-pura-vida @donttouchmycarrots @eg-dr3amer3 @whaledots-blog @a-beaverhausen @hangmanscoming @mandolin22 @theweekndhistorybook @lilpeekabooze @high-bi-imgonnacry @ahintofkiwistrawberry @ruewrote @spiderman-stilinski @jayniebop @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @imaginecrushes @keyrani @chicomonks @artemissunn @mayempress @eddiemunsonreader
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cheralith · 3 months
Text
to a heart's content — 「 single father!miguel o'hara x reader (part iii) 」
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content warnings ; fem!reader, implied fem bodied!reader, use of she/her pronouns, reader wears dresses and makeup, mild violence mention
contains ; single father!miguel o'hara, boss!miguel o'hara, assistant!reader, angst, angst with some comfort, unedited/not beta read as of 2/24
word count ; 8.5k
notes ; we're so back. am i severely late to posting this? very. did i at least get it done after too many months? also yes. i also apologize in advance to those i tagged that are no longer interested in the series, as i merely tagged people that had commented regardless of time. lmk if you no longer want to be tagged in the last part, i promise i won't take offense at all!
parts ; one two three four (tba)
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THREE YEARS AGO
“My name is (Y/N) (L/N), it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. O’Hara. Please let me assist you at any need possible.”
Miguel peered at you through his reading glasses, averting his attention from his laptop to fully examine the stranger that stood in his office. Dark hazelnut eyes scan the appearance of a young woman dressed in black slacks and an ironed white blouse standing stiffly next to his superiors that eyed him with more eagerness than he liked. He could already tell that you were a shy one, a person that wasn’t too accustomed to the outside world and its people; you stood with stiff posture; it was one that exemplified nerve rather than confidence from the way that you almost seem paralyzed in your place. 
Caldworth, one of the superiors that stood by your side, placed a wrinkly and veiny hand on your shoulder and showed you off to him as if you were a painting up for bidding. “We choose a sharp one for you. (Y/N) here is rather attentive, so don’t be shy about letting her get to know you better, Miguel.”
Miguel stayed quiet, still skeptical about this sudden new arrangement for him that was brought up at the last minute. He lacked a certain sort of anticipation that would usually behold anyone else in his position—a new person entering their work life would usually be an exciting, rousing meeting seeing as how it would be a new addition to what the higher-ups would refer to as “family.” A loose term, Miguel often thought… very loose, even. To even have the courage to compare coworkers to something as intimate as family was something that didn’t sit well with Miguel. Blame it on the certain circumstances on his own familial life, but even anyone else that had their brain in the somewhat of the right spot would understand that mere coworkers were nothing compared to family.
At least in his case.
“I’ve greatly admired your work in the past,” you said almost robotically, “so I hope I can be of any help in your future accomplishments—no matter how big or small.”
Miguel cocked his head. He fought the urge to raise an eyebrow at what he began to concur was something scripted via his superiors. Something about your tone of voice seemed… flat; devoid of any actual enthusiasm. 
Caldworth and his partner began to see themselves out, leaving him to babysit you. “Well, you two have at it! Maybe go out for a cup of coffee to familiarize yourselves, get to know each other better since you both are essentially going to be around each other all the time,” Caldworth stated, making Miguel twitch from the last part. 
Just before they left, Caldworth offered the glint of his eye over his shoulder, the peek of a tight-lipped grin ever so slightly visible.
“And don’t forget, we’re all family here!” he cheered before the slam of a door shut you and Miguel in.
Immediately, Miugel noticed that your shoulders caved inward, indicating that you were finally able to breathe properly without the surveillance of people that were essentially in charge of your life. He eyed you again from the top of his glasses before he took them off and rested them in between his fingers, letting them dangle lazily. 
“Did they tell you to say that?”
You jolted in your spot. Nerves seemingly reshocked with the same anxiety from before, you turned yourself to face your new boss again with a much more paled, yet evident expression—wide-eyed, pursed-lipped, gritted jaw—and swallowed thickly. Almost in a shameful manner, you silently nodded your head. 
“W-was…” you started, “was it that obvious?”
“Somewhat,” Miguel murmured simply and closed his laptop. “Don’t listen to what they say, just make yourself as comfortable as possible. I’m sure neither of us want to be that comfortable with each other.”
Your lips pressed themselves into a tight line, hitching a sharp breath before it’s replaced with another stiff nod. There was no user’s manual of sorts that was given to you by your superiors. They merely told you to do exactly what Miguel needed, so if this is what he wanted—for you two to maintain distance—then so be it. If anything, it’s easier to breathe this way for both parties. 
And it was like that for a rather long time; the both of you never came too close to the other person. It was strictly a professional workplace relationship, one that didn’t issue any room for intimacy because it wasn’t needed. There were no lunch or dinner get-togethers outside work hours, there was barely any small talk between you both, and you and he didn’t even bother getting each others’ personal numbers despite being consistently around the other like air—both parties thought the work phones were more than enough. There was no need for you to learn about his likes, his dislikes, his favorite foods, and Miguel couldn’t certainly be bothered with your own slices of life. To each their own, if you minded your business about him, he’d do the same to you. 
It was a fair trade and a sufficient barter that satisfied you and him; there need not be any excess of the unnecessary.
That was, until a certain day that Miguel was held back during his usual hours to continue working on lab reports—work that didn’t allow him freedom from this hell of a company to see his own salvation.
“If it’s an urgent matter, Mr. O’Hara, I don’t mind taking on some of the workload,” you had said softly as you placed the last stack of packets on his desk that needed proper annotation. “I’m your assistant, after all. It’s my job to help you out.”
Miguel rubbed his forehead out of exhaustion and shook his head, “You’re my assistant from 9 to 5 only. I’m not gonna be like those shocking pricks and work you longer than needed,” he muttered and stretched out his neck, joints crackling. “Go clock out, (Y/N). I’m sure there’s someone waiting for you at home that needs attending to.”
Suddenly, the atmosphere had gone awkwardly quiet. The tension was only broken by the scritching of your shuffling feet before you coughed. 
“Um, there’s no one in particular like that for me, unfortunately,” you whispered through a forced laugh that quickly dissolved. “So again, I don’t mind staying late…”
Miguel stiffened in his seat and mumbled an apology for his blatant inconsideration. Right… you were still rather young and didn’t seem the type to have a family yet. “No boyfriend? Or girlfriend… I’m not one to judge.”
“No, Mr. O’Hara.”
“No parents?”
“I moved out, so no.”
“Not even pets?”
“None.”
“... perhaps friends of sorts?”
“...”
Another sigh heaves itself from his aching lungs. What he’d do for a cigarette right now to kill this awkward tension. You were a rather shy person that isolated herself from most people, but Miguel didn’t think you’d detach yourself this much from the crowd. 
You proposed your assistance once more, as third times always a charm. “Please let me assist you, Mr. O’Hara. I truly do not mind staying overtime if needed.”
Miguel, at first, thought you might be kissing his ass for a possible raise, but the thought quickly disappears when you genuinely appear concerned for his well-being given the fact he looked ultimately much more disgruntled than usual. Despite your timidity, you could be a stubborn one, so Miguel gave in before he tired himself even more with mild arguments that he was sure would drain whatever life he had left in him.
He inhales sharply and fiddles with his bag for a bit before he pulls out an array of keys, gently detaching a pair of them. One of them is his car key. The other—his house key. 
“Take these,” he said and gestured them to you. “I’ve trusted you enough to drive my car on multiple occasions, so now I’m entrusting you to my daughter.”
Your eyes widened briefly, brows raising to new heights. Blinking in the alikeness of an owl, you repeated, “Your… your daughter?”
Miguel supposes this is what succumbs to him after not revealing even the most personal, yet basic parts of himself to a coworker. He hasn’t even revealed his birthday to you, let alone his family, so he can’t say he’s too surprised at your reaction. 
“Yes, my daughter,” he repeats and starts scribbling on a post-it. “Her name is Gabriella, she just turned five and is in kindergarten. I’m gonna call up the daycare and tell them that you’ll be picking her up from school. After that, drop her off at the house and just… just kind of stay there until I come home. There should be leftovers in the fridge if she gets hungry. I’ll take a cab home… I dunno.”
Miguel sticks out the post-it note containing both the address of the daycare and his apartment number. With caution, you take and examine them closely with a mild surprise still on your face of the new information about your boss that you thought you should’ve learned a while ago. You begin to see yourself out of his office with an evident nervousness in your being before Miguel spontaneously gets up and grabs your wrist tightly, forcing you to look at him.
A chill goes down your spine when you see a menacing and unusual red glint in those pools of mahogany. His once-drained face is suddenly stony and rugged with his teeth bitten back to avoid any unnecessary threats. The physical contact makes your nerves go cold and paralyzes you into place to force you to stare into those eyes that you’re not sure aren’t even human, a sort of malicious crimson tint gleaming over brown hues.
“Do not… let anything happen to her,” he hisses under his breath, his tone jaggedly sharp, “Not a single scratch, yes?”
It takes a while for air to breathe itself back into your lungs, yet only a partial amount of it revives your body because all you can reply is a choked out, 
“Yes.”
Miguel lets go of your wrist like it’s a heated iron rod, the burn of it stinging his hand with the aftertaste of your skin still damped on his palm. You quickly leave after that, leaving him to sigh and stare into nothing before clutching the picture frame of his daughter that sits on his desk—praying that you’ll live up to his expectations and arrive home to an unscathed Gabriella.
And throughout the duration of the three years you and Miguel have spent side by side, with each repeated question he’d contritely ask again and again, he did each and every single time you had to take care of her. The hours became longer, more strenuous, and created a blockage between Miguel and Gabriella that only you were able to bridge between. Gabriella—whose particular shyness reminded Miguel of a certain someone—eventually warmed up to you and began to treat you much more familiarly as time passed, growing accustomed to wrapping her body around your legs when she saw you during pick up and always asking what was for dinner that evening as if you’ve been there since her birth.
Gabriella grew very fond of you, Miguel noticed. There was some sort of mimicry in her actions at times that mirrored your own habits like how she’d tilt her head and purse her lips to the left when she was confused like you did or she’d randomly walk briskly in the same fashion you marched. She’d slip in a mention of your name during small discussions here and there, a praise never failing to tail her words. 
“Miss. (Y/N) bought this headband for me! Isn’t it pretty?” 
“Oh, Miss. (Y/N) taught me how to solve that problem yesterday.”
“Can you make cookies like how Miss. (Y/N) does? Yours taste weird.”
While you weren’t always present around the O’Haras, Gabriella made sure it seemed like you were. 
There was a particular time that Miguel was helping her on some homework assigned over the weekend. The assignment had discussed different careers that children might be interested in the future and when Miguel had asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, Gabriella, who couldn’t have been more than six or seven around the time, replied all too simply, 
“I want to be like Miss. (Y/N).”
Miguel was astonished. He had expected an answer like a professional soccer player due to her love of the sport or a scientist like her father, but to aspire to be someone that seemingly was just an occasional companion? To him, it didn’t make sense.
“Like, do you wanna work for Daddy when you’re older?” Miguel asked, attempting to clarify what she meant since she knew enough to understand you were associated with her father. 
Gabriella shook her head and mindlessly continued to draw what seemed to be a portrait of you in… a pink dress? “Nuh uh. I wanna be a princess like her.”
Through furrowed brows, Miguel chuckled a little aimlessly. Of course she’d still believe fantasy and magical things—she was just seven after all. Initially, he wanted to merely correct his daughter, but was a little curious as to what sort of silly information you had been feeding her. “Miss. (Y/N) is a princess?” 
“Yep, she told me herself!” Gabriella exclaimed, her hand fisting a yellow marker that scribbled on a crown on the drawing. “She said she used to be a princess, but she ran away ‘cause a giant, fire-breathing lizard tried to kidnap her!” 
“I think it might’ve been a dragon, mijita,” Miguel corrected gently, trying to go along with the usual trope fairy tales portrayed.
“Nuh uh, it was a big and creepy lizard, she said!” she retaliated stubbornly.
“Well,” he started again, attempting to choose his words a little more carefully this time around. “How come you don’t wanna be like Ariel? Or Tiana? They’re princesses, too, right?” 
She shrugged. “I like them. But they’re not Miss. (Y/N).”
Something unnatural began to seep into Miguel’s chest. He knew that Gabriella liked you quite so, but he didn’t expect for her to almost admire you in such a fashion that inspired her to be like you. In his eyes, you were nothing but the assistant that loyally stood by his side and abided by his every word—to him, it seemed like you were more of a butler or servant than a princess. 
But in his daughter’s eyes… 
“Why? What’s so special about (Y/N)?” Miguel inquired with a growing curiosity to try and see you in the same light as Gabriella. 
She shook her head, displeased with the informality given to you by her father. “You gotta say Princess (Y/N). I don’t have to ‘cause she said it’s okay.”
He sighed, “Okay, fine. What’s so special about Princess (Y/N)?”
Gabriella set her marker down carefully and thought for a little while. Her eyes suddenly lit up with delight, an affirmative grin set on her lips. 
“Well, she’s really pretty… like reallyyy pretty. I wanna be just as beautiful as her one day,” she praised, making Miguel’s brows rise at the sudden compliment. “She’s really nice, too. She never shouts at me like the teachers or coaches do… and she always lets me have extra dessert when I do a good job on my homework.”
Miguel fell silent. Perhaps it was more than mere admiration, but idolization for Gabriella. She viewed you in a way that Miguel hadn’t even thought of because he only viewed you as his coworker. But in Gabriella’s eyes, you were more than just her babysitter—you were literal royalty to her. He shouldn’t be one to complain though—he’d take his daughter following in your footsteps over some others that might lead her astray. You were… sufficient enough, he supposes, even if Gabriella didn’t think so.
“She’s super smart too—like you, Papá! Maybe even smarter,” she retorts, making Miguel twitch. “And I like her voice a lot. I really like it when she reads me a story because her voice is pretty. Sometimes she sings this song to me to help me sleep.”
“Oh?” Miguel questioned, “¿Y, qué canción es esa?”
“I keep forgetting the name and words of it…” Gabriella pouted after a moment of attempted concentration. “But it went somethin’ like…”
She began humming an off-tune melody that struck a dissonant, yet familiar chord within Miguel, but it was impossible for him to find why it was so eerily familiar to him. Was it perhaps from an old song? Or a film he’d seen before? It was a calming song, one that was perfectly suited for a child’s lullaby, but something about it seemed almost so customary to him. 
“Ya gotta marry her,” his daughter said plainly and began to resume her artistry, ignoring the sudden startle she gave her father. “So that way, I can become a princess, too.”
Miguel helped himself to the nearby cup of water to soothe his choked throat after the scare she gave him. “Sweetheart, I’m not a prince, though.”
“Yeah, I know,” his daughter replied without missing a beat. “But you know what you are, though?” 
Dare he say that Gabriella had grown akin to you the same way she had with her father. Something about her praise and regard for you seemed to mirror the way that reflected alike to her father, yet Miguel couldn’t tell if she had managed to draw a line between the images of you and him. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if Gabriella could even define a difference in her adulation between you and him besides the fact one was her parent. 
But when the thought of Gabriella potentially viewing you as sharing the same title as him—a parent—something seeds inside Miguel. He doesn’t know what it is or what it will grow into, but there’s one thing he knows for sure. 
The seed of you in his life and hers is here to stay, whether he likes it or not. 
Gabriella’s smile grew wide before she happily announced,
“You’re her knight in shining armor!"
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PRESENT
If he squinted properly and took a closer look, perhaps Miguel could make himself hallucinate enough to try and visualize the golden chandelier above your head as your haloing tiara. It was the main light source nearly the entirety of the venue, but something about the way the light glistened around you made you seem almost holy, like you were a divinity gracing your presence on the wretchedness they called Earth.
Blame it on the wine, but Miguel couldn’t help but notice that you looked more celestial tonight; a unique sort of ethereal that he’s only seen in the finest of paintings. The banquet hall is covered in layers of silkened gold, only emphasizing your best features in the spotlights of reflecting amber. 
You’re talking idly (per usual, unfortunately) with a coworker from Human Resources that he’s seen you often have mild conversations with on the weekly, a rare familiarity that he only knows he’s been graced with in full; so it’s truly no surprise that there’s a placid stir of envy growing within Miguel as you’ve decided to not give your semi-cold shoulder a break even tonight, even with the rarity of a compliment given by him. At least there’s been somewhat of an improvement—you’re actually holding miniscule conversations with him every now and then as you both chatter with the crowd as long as there’s a third party.
Yet he still hasn’t been granted mercy of having a proper one-on-one with you, yet.
But beggars can’t be choosers, so Miguel must make do with what he’s offered.
The coworker, finally, is called by one of his project managers and politely excuses himself, leaving you to Miguel’s devices at long last. Like a flower’s petals given little to no care, your smiling face wilts into the solemn countenance that Miguel has grown accustomed to seeing for the past week when you turn your gaze back towards the table, a sliver of Miguel caught in the corner of your eye. In time, he just barely catches a glimpse of your eyes flickering toward his figure before they return to stare at the nearly empty plate of food with a slight dismal.
A choice of what words to say jumble in his mouth. They toss and jump about while not giving him full comprehension of what they mean and Miguel grows frustrated at his lack of intelligibleness because it wasn’t every day that his resolve could be so cowardly in front of someone. Usually he was the one that made egos shrink, but upon your grace, his own could only grow so small. 
You can tell there’s an awkward silence amongst you both despite the audible chatter throughout the banquet hall and the idle conversations among your tablemates, so you break it first but stiffly shuffling out your phone and dialing Gabriella’s babysitter for tonight—a blue moon occasion since neither you nor Miguel could be present. Gabriel is out of town and because there were only so many people in the world that Miguel could trust with his beloved, the elderly next-door-neighbor was the last resort. 
“I should probably check up on how Mrs. Darcie is doing,” you splutter with a dry mouth. “I forgot to teach her how the TV remote works and I’m sure she must be bored out of her—”
Unconsciously, Miguel gently pries the phone out of your shaking hands, the connection between skin and skin electrifying his nerves more than he liked. He takes notice of the size difference between your hand and his own and eyes carefully at how easily your fingers would be able to slip into the gaps of his all too easily; like two connecting puzzle pieces. 
He places it face down on the table to avoid further distractions. “I’m sure Mrs. Darcie is alright,” he attempts to soothe as he places his hand over your own, nearly caging it between his fingers. Miguel struggles with fighting the urge to squeeze it delicately—he doesn’t know if he’s earned that privilege, or if he ever did. “Gabi is most likely preparing for bed, we shouldn’t distract her.”
Eyes flickering toward your covered hand, the warmth that envelopes it from Miguel’s makes you swallow thickly. 
“Ah,” you murmur and timidly pull back your hand to place back on your lap to Miguel’s disappointment. “Right… Never mind then.”
And suddenly, he’s back to square one. Silence plagues the air again between you and him, only this time, it’s thicker and grimier almost. Perhaps it was the oddity that was the physical contact that added to the musk of it; Miguel prays that you didn’t find it uncomfortable. 
A fork is plucked between your fingers and you go to idly poke at your food to fidget with something other than your hands. “I hope she’s okay. Gabi, I mean. I-It feels a little odd leaving her with someone other than you. 
Rays of hope and enthrallment embellish Miguel’s being from the fact that finally… finally you’re the one attempting a conversation with him after much too long. And not only that, you’re beginning with something bold, even if you don’t realize it. Despite the fact you’re rather unconscious of what you’re saying, something within Miguel perks up at the fact that you’re worried about Gabriella in the same sense… that he is.  
That a parent is.
He fights the urge to physically shake his head to brush the thought off. Miguel hums, a semi-sorry attempt at being suede and casual. “Mrs. Darcie has had eight children in her lifetime, I’m sure that she’s definitely had her experience of taking care of kids,” he says seemingly nonchalantly. “Gabi, if anything, is lightwork to her.”
A soft delight pings in his chest again when you reply almost instantaneously, “She is indeed a good girl, very well-behaved.”
“She has her moments,” Miguel snorts, fondly remembering a few of younger Gabriella’s temper tantrums and outbursts of tears.
Something golden, something bright blossoms within him when he hears you let out a soft chuckle at his reply. It’s abrupt, but it’s short and sweet enough that he feels accomplished, enough for him to savor the taste of it. “All children do from time to time. But she’s definitely one of the better apples of the bunch.”
Miguel thinks you’re right; it wasn’t often that parents, new ones especially, were granted with the privilege of having obedient children, so he’s one of the lucky ones. Perhaps Gabriella being a good kid was the universe giving him mercy as a single parent, as society often thinks it takes two to tango when it comes to childcare most of the time. 
But that’s why you’re here, isn’t it? Even if Miguel wasn’t aware of it, some of the responsibility was lifted off his shoulders when you entered the picture, as the duties of nurturing a young child were now in your favor the moment you had signed your work contract. For that, he harbors guilt from time to time when he thinks that you never exactly signed up to be a babysitter, let alone a parent figure to his kin that you were still unaware of. 
And then it hits him.
It comes all of a sudden—his senses downpouring from the cloud of his daydreams and thoughts.
It’s not a good realization by far. If anything, it’s the very opposite, one that’s one the other end of the spectrum. It’s a deathly epiphany and one that he doesn’t like to acknowledge but is forced to.
Miguel stares blankly at the tablecloth, eyes droning into the satin folds of it as they mimicked the waves of a crashing ocean. A sort of paleness infects his face, the color of it draining slowly and he goes still when he feels his heartbeat thundering in his ears. 
You’re quick to take notice of your boss’s current disposition, growing wary of his wide, blank eyes and gritted jaw, along with his knuckles growing white as they fist his slacks. A shallow breath is echoed from him; you furrow your brows.
“Mr. O’Hara?” you murmur, leaning toward his figure. 
Miguel’s mind stirs. If Gabriella views you as a parent-figure, what exactly would you think of it? You’re not much younger than Miguel is, only falling behind a mere four or five years, but you’re still significantly young that you’ve got your whole life ahead of you that you’d need to experience by yourself. The remnants of youth are still planted onto you despite being well-adjusted to the adult world, so to put the responsibility of a child on your shoulders? Miguel feels contrition flood into him.
What if you didn’t even want children? 
It’s a fact that you care for Gabriella, but do you harbor the same type of love for her that she has for you? Does she even understand what your role is in her life and that there’s a strict boundary between you and Miguel and Gabriella? He knows he can’t just shackle you onto a weighing responsibility, but when Gabriella is a part of this dilemma, the complication increases tenfold.
Your boss seems to be frozen in time, seeing as how not a muscle in his limbs nor his face were moving, but his eyes were wide open, almost glazed with fear. A feathery hand goes to place itself over his tightened fist before you ask again, “Mr. O’Hara, are you okay?”
It’s a fact that you care for Gabriella, but do you harbor the same type of love for her that she has for you? Does she even understand what your role is in her life and that there’s a strict boundary between you and Miguel and Gabriella? He knows he can’t just shackle you onto a weighing responsibility, but when Gabriella is a part of this dilemma, the complication increases tenfold.
The worst case scenario infects Miguel’s thoughts—you standing in the same shadow of his ex, exiting through the same door she had walked through just a few days after his daughter’s birth and breaking his entire being into little pathetic pieces.
This time, however? He wouldn’t be the only one with a shattered heart.
A thick swallow goes down your throat. You gently shake his hand with your own to attempt to break him out of his frigid state, a worry beginning to settle itself in your stomach. “Mr. O’Hara? Can you hear me?” you declare a little louder than the first two times.
Your voice makes him blink and he clears his throat, feeling his cheeks warm at the sudden loss of composure. “Yes, I-I’m fine…” he mutters as he tugs at the tight collar of his dress shirt.
You nod with visible skepticism. Miguel turns away from your gaze to avoid further questioning, since he knows you’ve been at his side long enough to know his behaviors. “Are you sure?”
He nods and stifles a sigh, nodding. The flurry of what had just occurred in his mind lingers almost painfully and it takes him a while to remember where he is and why. Right… the annual celebration gala… with you… to make up for the date that never happened.
His mind is a mess. It’s an incoherent tornado of everything and anything, with images of all kinds flashing throughout his mind—young Gabriella’s drawing of you and her as princesses that she insisted on framing, your face of disappointment that you gave him when he ditched out on the date, a flashback of his ex slamming his old apartment door on him as an infant Gabriella screamed and wailed in her crib, you hugging his daughter after her winning goal, Miguel’s frazzled self as he showed up too late to his daughter’s first Parents Day with a teary-eyed Gabriella, him finding you quietly reading a sleepy Gabi a bedtime story after a long shift at work, you making baked goods in the kitchen with her.. you tucking in her into bed… you suddenly with a suitcase in hand, a sobbing Gabriella in the back as Miguel begged you to stay before you slammed the door behind you and leaving them—
Miguel stands up abruptly, making you jump. The collar and tie around his neck suddenly seem too tight and his throat runs dry. The air grows hotter and his vision starts to blur. 
“Mr. O’Hara,” you start as you also stand up, “Is everything alr—”
“I need some air,” Miguel barely chokes out before he leaves the banquet hall without another word. He can just barely hear you ask if there’s anything you could do before he turns a sharp right and leaves the entirety of the building altogether, choosing to remain in the back garden to breathe in fresh oxygen, a relieving chill to the air.
A hand goes to loosen his collar and tie and he can feel himself gain consciousness again. The sky is draped with an ink blue all over, speckles of the night stars scattering all around. The floral smell of many garden flowers fills his senses and Miguel grounds himself properly before he settles himself on a stone bench to balance in his mind.
He attempts to reason with himself. 
Clearly, you don’t mind being with children, and obviously you don’t mind being with and taking care of Gabriella. She’s not simply a job to you that you’re forced to work with—you’ve said it yourself. Otherwise, you wouldn’t go to her games nor would you remember to bring her small gifts of her liking. You’ve done things for her out of your own initiative many times. Gabriella is your world, Miguel thinks, as much as your hers.
Now there’s the problem of you being with Miguel, if your feelings haven’t changed all too much. In all honesty, Miguel thinks if he’s with the right person, he’s sure to put in effort into stabilizing and nurturing a proper relationship. He hadn’t had the time to go around and look for love because of work and Gabriella, so serving as this sanctuary that came to him was basically a perfect fit into his life—don’t mind it took him three years to notice it. You’re worth putting that effort in.
Finally… there’s the possible chance that you reject Miguel’s proposal of being Gabriella’s secondary caretaker.
Miguel attempts to process it in a more… positive light. One that won’t send him spiraling. 
But it’s nearly impossible.
How is it possible to settle a middle ground of happiness, or at the very least… satisfaction, between you and him and Gabriella? How do you imagine a happy ending to a dawning of Gabriella’s happiness? How can Miguel ever face you after asking such a thing?
His vision shakes again, another hurricane of impossible questions begins whirling in mind. The bile in his stomach churns uncomfortably and his hands grow clammy again. His feet feel like they’re sinking in the dirt. Somehow, even at a staggering height compared to most of his colleagues, Miguel feels small once more. 
Would he be able to cope with such a—
A loud crash and multiple screams suddenly break Miguel out of his state and he whirls his head to see what was happening inside. The peek of something green slithers inside the massive hole in the glass ceiling indented in the building, and it doesn’t take Miguel long to know what’s happening.
He sprints back inside the building and into the banquet hall, the opposite way where everyone is headed and takes a swift peek inside to what was happening. 
A horrifically large green lizard crawls on the floor, letting out an agonizing roar of sorts with its tail swishing about and knocking everything and everyone in its path over. Dr. Curtis Connors, the one foe Miguel had fought a few months ago and had just managed to escape his grasp, had come back for revenge in a newer, more improved, more terrifying form of his initial self-experiment. News of his identity had leaked out immediately the moment that he had defeated the mad doctor, and every work that was researched by him that was deemed irrelevant by Alchemax was unpublished and/or destroyed—that included raiding everything in his personal lab—an urgent executive order made by Tyler Stone himself. 
Hungry for revenge for the destruction of his work, Miguel was certain he was back for revenge as back when he was still sane, the amount of research that Dr. Connors had put in was extensive and yielded long years in the making, spanning over nearly three decades of research that was wiped away in the matter of a single day thanks to Alchemax. 
Miguel quickly turns a corner, hidden from the public eye, and commands his suit on before quickly re-entering the banquet hall. He swings up towards the domed ceiling and carefully analyzes the area.
There’s still a few people scattering from the room, shrieks echoing from the walls. His eyes go to search for where you are in desperation, praying you’re safe somewhere outside, but a flash of light pink catches the corner of his eye. He nearly snaps his neck when he finds you running in the opposite direction of where most people are headed—towards the garden.
“(Y/N)!” Miguel yells out without thinking and slaps a hand over his mouth. Thankfully, you don’t hear him due to the commotion inside the area as you swim against the current of people. You fight the urge to fall down with every person that bumps into you amidst the chaos before you thankfully make it near the exit.
He lunges down from his spot on the ceiling, lassoing a few people that nearly get crushed under Lizard’s humongous tail and bringing them to safety properly on the way, making his way towards your figure. Rubble from the many columns begin to collapse on themselves; clouds of dust and debris fog the first floor of the hall with the wreckage already trapping some people inside. 
A large chunk from the wall creaks and begins to teeter over the south exit, where you’re headed. A certain distraction diverts you from noticing the large cement framework around the exit that’s about to topple on you to Miguel’s horror. In the nick of time, he just barely manages to snatch you by the waist from a thrusted sprint just before the framework collapses with a thunderous boom. 
You and Miguel cough from the dust it created. It takes a good second for you to process what your fate might’ve become, and it takes just another second for you to regain your consciousness. A good part of the exit is now blocked, but that doesn’t stop you from taking off your heels and attempting to climb over it. 
Miguel barks out and grabs your arm that’s now scathed with slight scratches. “The hell are you doing?!” he exclaims worriedly. 
You turn back with a teary and troubled look on your face, much to his shock. Abruptly, you turn back towards the exit and attempt to tug back your arm from his firm grasp. “M-my boss… he’s inside the garden,” you croak miserably out as you try to pull yourself over the fallen column. “I need t-to know if he’s safe…”
Lizard lets out another mighty howl and patters toward the stage, his tail once again swinging haughtily and ignoring anything in its path. Miguel shouts at you to duck and pulls you down along with him. You prop back up and without his arm on yours, you use it to your advantage and grunt yourself forward onto the column. 
Miguel wraps a large hand over your ankle and weighs you down from moving any further. “Hey, you need to get out, now. You can’t be here, no one should be,” he urges.
The shake of your head concerns him—right, you’re too stubborn for your own good. “I’ll be fine. P-please, just leave me be.”
“Not when you’re about to get killed,” he declares and juts your ankle more towards him. The motion makes you fall into his chest and Miguel uses one hand to properly secure you to himself, the other launching and swinging a web to the north entrance. 
You squirm and fight against him, pleading desperately for him to drop you and leave you alone. A frame of tears threatens to fall from your eyes from frustration and despair when you get put down. Miguel has to physically stop you from running back into the banquet hall once again—you put up a fight though. You thrash against him, clawing and weakly punching at his stronger arms, imploring for him to let you back inside. 
“You don’t understand—” you gasp as the remnants of the people inside flood out. Looking over his shoulder, you gaze at the exit solemnly. “Please… I need to know if he’s alright—he h-has a young daughter back at home and if anything happens t-to him—just please let me go!” you wail.
He grabs you by the shoulders forcefully and settles you down, the stream of tears falling from your eyes running his throat dry once again. Miguel has never seen you cry, or even come close to crying. Not when Gabriella forced you to watch what she considered “one of the saddest movies in existence”, not when an entire glass beaker had toppled and its shards pierced your skin, not even when Miguel had first scolded you about your many mistakes on the very first document you turned into him. 
Glassy eyes meet concerned, masked ones. Your lip trembled violently, the words all jumbled in your mouth about to spill. “Just let me check if he’s alright,” you just barely whisper.
He bores his gaze into yours as his composure does its best to upkeep him as best as possible. Miguel, from the inside of his mask, bites his lip and sighs. “I promise you, I’ll make sure Miguel gets home safely.”
“What if you don’t?” you accuse with furrowed brows.
“I’ll bring him home safe and sound,” he says firmly. “You said he has a daughter, right? I won’t let her become an orphan. I swear on my life I won’t.”
Your gaze doesn’t falter, even when Miguel attempts to soothe you by chafing the chilled skin of your arms up and down in a calming manner. Unbeknownst to you, you and him share an image of Gabriella in your minds; it brings a sting of ache to your chests.
“How can I trust you?” you ask dryly. 
“Because,” he goes to weave a string of webbing through the north entrance and takes you out into the safety of the outside. He settles you on the corner of two intersecting streets that sit nearby the building, with your tears still falling and hands trembling. A hand carefully holds your cheek and wipes away descending tears on your chalky face, Miguel ignoring the squeeze of his heart with each one that puddles on the sidewalk. 
“... I’m your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.”
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Spider-Man leaves you on the sidewalk idly with the blurry figures of your co-workers and other people in the company whizzing by you with no concern for anyone else other than themselves. It takes a moment for you to understand what just happened and with whom, suddenly hit with the pang of realization that you had just met the Spider-Man: the well-known vigilante protecting Nueva York from all corners, beloved by the public. Excitement can’t seem to conjure itself within you, however, your gaze still lingering on the building that Miguel was possibly in. 
A hesitant step takes you forward back to the building, but your phone vibrates abruptly from a notification from Mrs. Darcie. Word must’ve gotten out so quickly that it reached the O'Hara's neighborhood, as her text was asking if you and Miguel were alright. Your thumbs shake as you try and type up a response to let her know that you were at least alive, but you know that Gabriella wanted you both home. 
The least you could do is make sure half of that concern was eased. You were counting on Spider-Man to do the rest.
With an arm reaching out for a taxi, you rush into one and tell the driver to step on the gas, promising to tip extra. You’d be willing to give all the money you had with you if it meant that you could be with Gabriella for tonight.
You’ve underestimated the nightly rush hour this Friday night had brought upon, because there’s a sea of cars that are equally as stuck as you are amidst the road. Tangible fingers go to grip your hair frustratingly, and asking the driver to go any further was basically useless. Each minute you wasted on the same road you had been on for what was nearing twenty minutes made you more anxious by the minute. 
“I-isn’t there some sort of shortcut?” you ask the driver hoarsely. “I don’t care what roads you have to take, just please get off this one. I’m begging you. I have a child that’s waiting for me.”
His eyes give you a quick glance in the mirror, and empathy embeds itself in his equally tired eyes. He must be a father himself, you think, as he gives you an affirmative nod and swings off the road onto a much more bumpy and gravelly, but visibly less dense one.
It’s nearly an agonizing hour later off the road—it would’ve most likely reached around two or even three if you stayed on the main road—but you thankfully make it to the O’Hara’s residence. Your body moves on its own, flying out the elevator and speeding down the floor of the apartment. You burst open the door, visible sweat misted on your forehead and an ache to your limbs but all that is ignored when Mrs. Darcie greets you with relief, with a sleeping Gabriella settled soundly on the couch as her favorite TV show buzzes in the background.
She grasps you tightly by the arms. “My goodness, thank heavens you’re alright,” she murmurs quietly. “That must’ve been quite a scare… are you alright?”
“I’m okay,” you gasp out tiredly. “But how is she? Gabi, I mean… d-does she—”
Mrs. Darcie shakes her head. “She fell asleep a while ago, she doesn’t know. I just managed to get informed thanks to my son who works near the building. But where is Miguel?”
Dread floods your face once more, remembering why you left the banquet in the first place. Somehow, however, your phone vibrates and receives a text from the one and only. A loud sigh escapes your lips and you crumple to the floor as the feeling returns to your numb legs as Miguel’s texts ease your worries. 
Hey I’m alive and alright. I saw you leave earlier, hope you’re safe. I’m omw home. 
You fight the urge to burst into tears from the relief as Mrs. Darcie helps you back up. “I’m assuming that’s him,” she says gently as she encourages you to take off your heels. “What a waste of night and beautiful dress. Shame that blasted giant iguana or something had to ruin it.”
A broken laugh leaves you from her gentle humor. You glance down at the dress that the mysterious Lyla had given you tonight and sigh sadly at the many tears of the tulle and fabric. The dress looked expensive and you planned on wearing it again for formal events, but alas, fate has decided to toy with you.
“That’s alright,” you mutter as you help Mrs. Darcie gather her stuff back up so she can finally leave. “I have plenty of others to use in the meantime.”
The elderly woman leaves you inside their apartment after bidding you a goodnight to tend to Gabriella, who’s still sound asleep and oblivious to what was happening to the world and people around her. That’s a good thing, at least, you think to yourself as you tidy up the living room around her quietly. Ignorance is bliss, sometimes.
She’s still small enough that you’re able to carry her to her room even at her age and it reminds you a lot of when she was younger, when she’d pretend to be asleep so you could carry her yourself to go back to her room. Nowadays, she knows her bedtime and does it by herself, but assuming she had been waiting for you or Miguel to come home, sleep had snuck onto her as she waited and waited.
You put her down gently, hoping not to get any of the leftover debris on your soiled clothes onto her freshly-washed body. The action just barely stirs her awake, her eyes slitting open at the slightest bit. Your blurry figure just barely makes it to her senses and she grins sleepily.
A titter escapes her lips. “You look like a…” Gabriella starts, her words faltering due to a fading consciousness. 
“Like a…?” you whisper softly, a hand stroking her hair gently.
“Like a…” you can tell she’s trying to find the words in her very limited vocabulary currently, her brain threatening to shut off at any second now. “Like a princess, I think?”
You raise your brows at her description as Gabriella immediately falls back asleep. You suppose you do look much more dressed up from usual, but your cheeks tingle a hint of warmth at the comparison of literal royalty. You blame it on the drowsiness.
Your own tiredness begins to crawl up your spine as you stay by Gabriella’s side in her darkened bedroom, her quiet breaths soothing you like a lullaby. With heavy eyelids threatening to shut close at any minute, you fight the urge to give into the Sandman, insistent on Miguel’s return.
Miguel…
His name rings aloud in your mind for a moment.
Miguel…
Miguel…
“I promise you, I’ll make sure Miguel gets home safely.” 
Spider-Man’s familiar voice suddenly jolts you awake. Your brows crunch together. How on earth did Spider-Man know Miguel’s name when you merely referred to him as your boss? Perhaps he saw Miguel in the garden beforehand? Maybe Miguel had an earlier oncoming with him from before and Spider-Man just knew him from that one incident? Or… he just happens to know the names of all the citizens of Nueva York because… that’s just how Spider-Man is? 
Or, was Miguel actually Spid—you shake your head in the same second you think of such a stupid reasoning. That’s impossible…
… you know in your heart that it just is.
Any reason that you attempt to give, you think of it as either obnoxious or just simply impossible. Maybe you did let it slip that your boss’s name was Miguel… that just seems like the most plausible reason. After all, your adrenaline was at an all-time high and you could barely remember what had happened before the takeover, let alone the conversations you had. 
Whatever it was, it was going to bring Miguel back home, and that’s what ultimately had mattered in the end. It probably wasn’t even your business to prod around.
At Gabriella’s visible sleeping state, you stand up and start to head towards the bathroom to fix yourself up, but the sound of the master bedroom’s window suddenly shuffling open makes your nerves electrify. Miguel’s bedroom sat just right next to Gabriella’s, and it was also the bedroom that was nearest to the complex’s fire escape, so a break-in at this time of night was highly plausible. 
Grabbing one of the displayed metal baseball bats on the wall, you turn off Gabriella’s lights and lock the door behind, ensuring her safety first before yours. You’re careful to tiptoe around the more creaky parts of the floorboards, desperate to make yourself not seen by the intruder as you step closer and closer to Miguel’s bedroom. The door is just barely ajar, and the lights are on. A distinct shuffling, bed springs, and a masculine groan echo from the crack of the doorway and when all is silent from the other side of the door, you make your move and burst in, ready to swing at whoever threatens the O’Hara residence.
The bat is suddenly grabbed from your hands from a familiar neon orange webbing and thrusted to the side of the room, where it thunks against the wall and falls limply. You gasp aloud and with nothing to defend yourself with, you look up with fear in your eyes that suddenly turn to shock from the sight in front of you.
There, standing in the same blue and red vinyl suit you had crossed paths with earlier, without its mask completing the look… and thus, exposing the face of the man you had been waiting for to come back home to you. 
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a/n ; second to last part to this mini-series and once again, i apologize for this nearly six-month delay, last semester was rough for uni. almost made this into two parts, but i felt like they just belonged together and i quite like the blend of them together.
thanks for the patience for those who stuck around and have waited far too long for this, you deserve this! i'm glad to see you all again <3 thank you endlessly for reading and likes/comments/reblogs are always noticed and appreciated (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡
taglist ; @secretlyrexlapis @urbimom @p1nkliquor @julesclues @averagefloydlover @apurpletrashcan @raeisthebae @mvchmp @um-well @nintendh-e @eddieslooneymoonie @deputy-videogamer @xochyw @honeybeeznuts @aspens-cove @btszn @scaleniusrm @goldenpoison @the-pan-liquid (if you'd like to be either added or removed from the taglist, please lmk! i know it's been awhile, so hi again haha)
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heeliopheelia · 11 months
Text
"look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't fucking lie to me" (heeseung x reader)
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genre: angst word count: 0.7k requested by @flwrshee ♡
warnings: swearing, break up, heartbreak, lying
a/n: fuck i love angst sm LMFAO absolutely looooved writing this one
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The silence is starting to feel heavy as you sit in Heeseung's parked car right next to your apartment complex. You're just coming back from a meeting with his friends and throughout the entire ride you haven't uttered a single word to him.
"Baby, talk to me, please," he sighs out after the uncomfortable atmosphere starts nearly itching his skin.
"What do you expect me to tell you? I just found out our entire relationship is basically a fucking joke," you say, face turned towards the window.
You don't even try to maturely approach the subject. Because how else is one supposed to react after realizing that their boyfriend most likely still has feelings for his ex? The sole thought of it makes your skin crawl and Heeseung can clearly see it as he swipes his eyes over your frowned side profile.
He tries again, feeling as if he's losing you already, one by one. "Nothing about us is a joke to me."
You want to get out of the car, you really fucking do, but at the same time you know that it's probably the last time you see him, the last time you're this close to him and the weak part of you that still wants to stay with him doesn't allow you to leave yet.
You feel goosebumps spiking your skin when his fingers hesitantly touch yours, so you quickly jerk your hand away.
"I feel like some fucking rebound, Heeseung."
"YN, baby," he starts quietly, trying to gain your attention. Pressing your lips together, you try your hardest to hold your tears back. "Will you please look at me?"
And you do, turning your head away from the window, hard eyes finding his immediately. For a second you take in the uneasiness painted on his face, his wide open eyes only making you want to cry even more. So you drop your gaze to your knees.
"I hope you had fun at least," you finally say, fiddling with the bracelet he gave you on your birthday three months ago. "Playing with my feelings like that, hope it was worth it."
"Don't say that, love," he pleads, hand itching to reach out to you again. "You can't believe everything people say so easily."
You scoff, looking at him in disbelief. "These people are your best friends. I see no reason as for why wouldn't I listen to them."
Realizing he's a step away from blowing his entire relationship with you, he finally engulfs your slightly trembling hand in his and brings it to his lips to press a kiss on your knuckles. His jacket around your shoulders suddenly feels all too heavy and burdening, a complete opposite of the comfort it used to bring you so many times before. The smell of his cologne is too strong all of sudden, the warmth of it nearly suffocates you.
"You know I lov-"
You interrupt him quickly, the sharpness or your tone startling him slightly. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't fucking lie to me." You swallow the bile in your throat as he sits in stunned silence, eyes gaping at you hopelessly. "I need to hear that she means nothing to you and we'll forget all about it."
"I- I can't," he stutters out, rubbing his face with his hand. "Fuck, I'm sorry. But I'll get over it, I promise. I can't lose you too, YN."
You jerk your hand out of his hold as if it was burning you alive and shake your head with a bitter scoff. "Then what the fuck are you even doing? Leading me on like that, do you realize how much this is hurting me? It's like the entire year we've been together meant absolutely nothing! That's so fucked up, Heeseung!"
"I know, I know!" He groans, pressing his palms to his eyes. "I'm sorry, I just thought that I'd lose these feelings along the way in a relationship with you. I never expected that she'd still have such strong hold on me even a year later."
"Well, since my love is clearly not enough for you, I'm finally gonna stop wasting both of our time," you nearly hiss at him, shrugging his jacket off your shoulders and shoving it into his chest. He catches it, eyes as wide as a deer caught in the headlights. "Thanks for the ride, Heeseung."
"Wait, YN!" He calls after you as you walk out of his car. He reaches out to grab you and somehow try to make you stay but his fingers only manage to graze the edge of your top as you turn around to him. "Don't leave."
"Stop being so fucking selfish. Goodbye. Don't call me again," you let his pleadings go past your ears before you shut the door and leave Heeseung in shambles.
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permanent taglist: @bambisgirl @arizejkt19 @luvmura @milisabunny @cathy-1997 @venividibitchin
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angelrari · 9 months
Text
gossip girl · pt. i
based on the tv series gossip girl
max verstappen / charles leclerc x socialité!reader
fc: elsa hosk (y/n) · taylor hill (léa) · barbara palvin (jolie)
a/n: hi! i guess you can tell i've been rewatching gossip girl. hope you like this idea and enjoy it a lot! also, friendly reminder that english is not my first language, so there might be some mistakes. please, bare with me!
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gossip girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of monaco's elite.
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the cold salty air sneaked under the fabric of your clothes. autumn had finally arrived to the coast of monaco and, after spending the last two years in the dark cambridge, there was nowhere else where you wished you could be, although many things had changed since the day you left.
these past years, you focused on your studies and that was not compatible with the lifestyle of monaco's elite. a few months after you had moved to the united states, you decided to cut ties with you childhood friends. long story short, you realized you were growing apart, their lives could no longer be compared to yours and you knew that was the only way this would not obstruct your studies.
jolie, your sister, was the only one who kept you updated on what was happening in monaco (and gossip girl). she had always loved the perks of the upper class, she enjoyed attending to the numerous events and she loved meeting new people, unlike you, who found all of these a more of an obligation rather than leisure. jolie, who loved the drama more than anyone, was the one who had broken the news to you that charles and léa had started dating.
charles had been your first love. you had met him when you were a kid, his parents were close friends of yours and they had introduced you at a very young age. you stared dating on your sixteenth birthday and it ended on a spring day when you were twenty. those years were the most beautiful years of your life and it had everything to do with him.
and léa was a childhood friend. you do not remember when did you meet her, somehow she had always been around. you had spent many days by her side, so many you would not be able to count them if you wanted to. from kindergarten to collage, you had always been together, until you the day you left monaco to study abroad.
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yourusername
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liked by gossipgirl, joliedebelle and 102.873 others
yourusername sweet home.
view all 1.312 comments
gossipgirl welcome back, we missed you.
joliedebellie glad to have my partner in crime back ❤️
username i will tell my kids she was the princess of monaco
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joliedebelle
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liked by arthur_leclerc, yourusername and 87.828 others
joliedebelle last day of birthday planning with my favourite sister @/yourusername
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yourusername you don't have another sister
joliedebelle that's why you're my favourite😁
arthur_leclerc can't wait!
landonorris the event of the year!!
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"is lando coming?". you asked and she nodded. "i didn't know you two were close".
"oh, we aren't. i met him during the monaco gp. you know, arthur."
"of course". you took a sip of your cocktail and looked outside the window.
"are you sure you don't mind charles and léa coming to the party?". she asked, worried about how you felt about your best friend dating your ex.
"no, not inviting them would be worse. plus, your day, your guests".
"i agree, it would be weird if i didn't when i have known them since forever". she added. "you know who else is coming?".
"mmm, no?".
"max!". you looked at her confused. "verstappen!"
"oh, god. do you now get along with every f1 driver or-".
"it was arthur!". she giggled. "you know him, right? max?".
"yes, charles and him have been good friends for ages, he introduced me to max even before we started dating. it's been such a long time since i last saw him, probably three, four years. he was a nice guy back then".
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yourusername
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liked by arthur_leclerc, zoejoire and 117.725 others
yourusername jolie's tweenty one
view all 1.532 comments
username what's in monaco's air
sofiarichiegrainge the prettiest ❤️
username i want to ask where is the dress from but i'm pretty sure i wouldn't be able to afford it
username i feel you sister
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venerawrites · 21 days
Note
Hi! I feel so blessed to have found your blog, your fluff is top tier 🫶🏻 Can I please request fluff for Kakashi x fem!reader where they take their son (who looks exactly like Kakashi) to meet Team 7 and they're all enamoured by baby Kakashi and how happy he is with wife reader? I feel like it'd be so cute~ I hope that's an alright request. Thank you so much! 😘
author's note: this is such a cute request and it has been sitting in my drafts for a while, since I have been waiting to be in the right mood for it! It was such a pleasure to write it and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do! Thank you for requesting! <3
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If there was anything Konoha did best, it was celebrating.
Compared to many of the other villages, the Leaf had some form of a festival almost every month. The first Sakura trees have blossomed? Celebration. The war is won? Celebration. The Hokage has a birthday? Celebration. 6 months without any outside threats? Celebration.
For the outsiders these constant festivities were both bizzare and a bit foolish. They could only imagine how much money were spend from the yearly budget, yet somehow the village blossomed economically. The other Kages tried to ask Lady Tsunade more than once in the past how exactly do they manage to do that, but they could never get anything more than a smug smile from her.
You, unlike your husband, loved a good party. During events like this everything felt different - the people were happier, the streets were busier, even the air felt more fresh! You have been waiting for the Spring festival for a while now - not only because you loved trying all the delicious street food, but also because this year you were taking your baby with you.
Being only a few months old, your son was an exact copy of Kakashi. His hair, his eyes, his nose, his lips, even the way he pouted was absolutely the same as your partner. There were times when you sat next to his crib, looking at him for hours, trying to find at least one thing in his appearance that he may took after you. While there were none, you found solace in the fact that he showed at least some traits of your personality - the main one being obsessed with Kakashi, of course.
As you watched your husband gently rocking your child in his arms and whispering sweet words to him, you couldn't stop the smile from spreading wide on your lips. Kakashi hasn't noticed your presence by the door yet, too busy booping your baby's nose and listening to his happy laughter.
He was definitely the favourite parent.
"I can't believe I carried him for nine months and I am still the second best in his eyes", you finally said, making Kakashi whip his head in the direction of your voice. He smiled sheepishly at you, his one free arm extending for you to take.
"You know that is not true, my dove", he tried to reassure you, his attention moving back to the bundle of joy who kept twitching in his grip, "No one can replace mommy! Isn’t that right, little man?"
Almost if understanding his words, the baby turned toward you, reaching one of his small hands toward your face. You immediately melted at the gesture, before carefully grabbing it in yours and lying numerous small kisses on his little fingers.
“Do we really have to go?”, your husband groaned, looking at you pleadingly. If it was up to him the three of you would stay in your house, enjoying a cosy evening just playing and goofing around the living room. With his new role as a Hokage, your time together was limited anyway and he liked to grab any chance he got to spend a few hours with you at home.
“You were the one that promised Naruto you would finally let him see the baby”, you cocked one of your eyebrows and Kakashi immediately shut his mouth, knowing he cannot argue further.
Even since you told Team 7 that you are pregnant, Naruto has shown an enormous enthusiasm about welcoming the baby. He self proclaimed himself “the best uncle to ever exist” and has bought dozen of plush toys and clothes before you even found what the gender is. Both you and Kakashi found this amusing, yet cute, promising him that he would be one of the first people to see your son once he is born.
However, things didn't go as planned and since he was on a mission outside Konoha for the last three months and a half, Naruto was now one of the last people to meet your child. Sakura has asked you countless of times during this period to let her and Sasuke come to your house, but feeling it was unfair to Naruto, you refused every single time.
Now that the blonde was back, however, all three were eagerly waiting to meet the young Hatake.
Kakashi gently passed you the baby, while he went to the corridor to grab the baby carrier wrap he liked to use. One thing about your husband was that he absolutely refused to use a pram.
"It is safer for them to be close to me", he often said, not even hiding his overprotectiveness. Despite your baby already being the village's favourite, he only allowed people to watch him, but never touch him or hold him. It was almost like your son was some kind of a rare jewel, which was so delicate, it had to be admired from a far. And while you found Kakashi's behaviour funny, he was being very serious about it, going as far as to glare and hiss a warning at Guy and Genma every time they tried to pinch your baby's chubby cheeks.
Once the little one was safely wrapped against your partner, you both made your way toward the village centre, where you could already hear music sounding. The streets were flooded with both adults and children, who were all eager to try some foreign food and watch special performances. Every year there were entertainers coming from different lands, performing traditional songs and dances from their cultures. While you knew you couldn't stay for all of them, since you had to put your child to bed quite early, you were excited to see at least some.
You felt one of Kakashi's arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you closer to him, while he shielded your son's body with the other one. While there were none real threats or risk for any of you, the amount of people made the man anxious. You were just about to grab his hand and try to make him relax, when Naruto's loud voice sounded from somewhere in front of you.
"Kakashi-sensei! Y/N! Over here!", he waved his hands energetically in the air, while both Sasuke and Sakura looked away embarrassed from his behaviour. Your smiled at the blonde, waving back, while your husband couldn't do anything else than let out a sigh.
Once you were a few meters away, the Uzumaki ran toward you, his whole face lighting up once his eyes met those of your son. He pushed past you, without even paying any attention to you, before leaning his head close to the baby's.
" Kakashi! That's your twin, dattebayo!", he shouted and moved his finger between his sensei and your son. Kakashi flicked his hand away, glaring harshly at his student. You sniffled a laugh, before you felt Sakura's hand on your shoulder. Turning around, you offered a smile to both her and Sasuke.
"Don't touch, step back and only watch from a distance", Kakashi instructed, his eyes narrowing at Naruto. The blonde, however, didn't acknowledge his words in any way, instead turning toward you.
"Can I hold him?", he asked, his blue eyes sparkling.
"No!", Kakashi immediately answered for you and you rolled your eyes at your husband, before moving toward the males.
"Of course you can!", before your husband can protest, you gave him a stare and he reluctantly picked up your son from the carrier wrap. He held him in his hands for a few more seconds, eyeing Naruto with suspicion.
"Be very, very, VERY careful!", he said, while passing the wriggling baby to the boy's stretched out arms, "And make sure to support his head! No, not like that... Naruto, I swear to Kami-"
You cut off the white haired male's rambling by wrapping your arm around his waist and placing your head against his shoulder. The Uzumaki was doing just fine, but Kakashi being Kakashi started to panic just at sight of someone else holding your little treasure.
The baby seemed to like the blonde, as he giggled, stretching his small hand toward his face. Sakura, who has been patiently waiting for her sensei to relax a bit, immediately rushed to her teammate's side, uncapable of controlling herself longer. She wriggled her forefinger in front of the child's face, her heart melting once he caught it.
"Hello, little one! I am auntie Sakura!", the baby grinned at her with its toothless smile and she let out an "aww" sound, before turning to you and your husband, "Kakashi-sensei, he really is your exact copy! Y/N, are you sure that's your child?"
You laughed at her joke, before shrugging your shoulders and pressing yourself closer to Kakashi.
"Trust me, I ask myself that every single day!"
Finally tearing your gaze away from Naruto and Sakura, you looked over to Sasuke, who remained frozen in his place. His eyes were focused on the little baby and there was a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, but unlike his teammates he maintained a safe distance. Feeling someone was watching him, he turned his head in your direction, his cheeks going bright red once he realized you caught him staring.
"Sasuke", you smiled at him and everyone's attention went to the Uchiha, "Do you want to hold him too?"
The dark haired male gulped, his eyes widening. He nervously scratched his shoulder, his gaze going down to his feet.
"I...", he became silent, stealing one more glance at the baby. You found it almost amusing how he was a fearsome ninja that could take dozen of enemies at the same time, yet he felt scared to hold a tiny human.
Looking over at Naruto, you nodded your head, signalling him to pass your son to Sasuke. The blonde let out a huff, dragging his feet toward his teammate.
"Be careful! And hold the head!", he warned the Uchiha, who rolled his eyes in response.
"I know how to hold a baby, dobe! I am not stupid!"
"Language!", Kakashi warned next to you and you looked up at him, only for him to shake his head. It must've been hard dealing with these two for so many years, yet you knew your husband wouldn't had it any other way.
At this moment, surrounded by so much love and happiness, you felt like you finally had everything you wanted in life - an amazing husband, a healthy child and enormous support by anyone around you. If you could choose to re-live only one moment of your life, it would be this.
"You okay, my dove?", Kakashi whispered and you nodded your head, laying a small kiss on his covered chin.
"Never been better."
Unbeknown to you, all of Team 7 smiled at both of you, admiring how happy their sensei was. After decades of suffering and loss, Kakashi took the leap of faith and opened his heart to you. While he was unsure in the beginning if he was ready to be with someone and have a family, looking back he was glad he did.
Pulling down his mask, he laid a soft kiss on your forehead, before nuzzling his nose against it.
"I love you."
"I love you more."
cc artwork: Pietro Smurra
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cerisahh · 1 month
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STARGIRL!
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SYNOPSIS ꒱ one of dg’s fangirls becomes his partner (reupload)
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REQUEST ꒱ here for dg crumbs 🥹 with a non fighter, average reader, like she is average and doesn't have much that stands out to her and is a dg simp. she simps hard for this man. not a toxic or psycho fan but a supportive one. we need more dg content!! 🤧 oh right! it could be james with an average non fighter s/o as well. it would make my day if you could do this really! thank you for reading! - 🐇
NOTE ꒱ hi rabbit anon 🐇, sorry it took so long to get around to this, i am lazy! i won’t write for james just yet as i haven’t got far enough in the manwha to really know his backstory and personality, so i hope this is alright instead! hope you enjoy the read regardless though - and thank you for requesting!
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• you first met at one of his autograph signings.
• you were the last person to be let into the line, luck was on your side!
• by the time you had gotten to the front, dg was pretty exhausted, it had been a long day and he was looking forward to an evening of relaxation.
• you come forward, you go through the basics - he thanks you for coming, a little small talk, he signs a few pictures.
• you were allocated five minutes to talk to him, but to his surprise you begin saying your goodbye’s early. he’s confused, usually people try and go over the five minute limit, not under.
• after he informs you that you still have three minutes left, you get a little flustered and explain that he looks pretty tired, and that he should get some rest.
• in his head he’s like how does she know… nonetheless you bid eachother a good night and both leave to retire to your homes.
• dg thinks about your interaction whilst getting ready for bed that night, not many of his fans are that considerate or pay much attention to his body language, he mentally thanks you for your consideration when his head hits the pillow.
• you on the other hand are going ballistic. did you JUST meet dg??? omfg. AND you had a conversation?? you were just thankful you didn’t stutter over your words. you comb through the pictures he signed and stick them around your vanity.
• you meet more times after that, mostly at his meet and greets but he's spotted you in a few event crowds.
• your conversations gradually get more friendly and personal. he actually finds himself forgetting to keep up his idol persona when in your company.
• he makes the first move, asking you if you want to grab a drink after his meet and greet is over.
• and OH BOY do you struggle to hide your excitement, you agree and meet him at the place he mentioned.
• he’s in disguise, of course. a mask, sunglasses, and a brown wig. you don’t recognise him at first but he waves you over to a booth table.
• he doesn’t mention it but he’s glad you didn’t recognise him. if you didn’t see through his disguise, not many people would.
• these little lunch get togethers continue for a couple months, gradually you guys come to expect hanging out with eachother on that specific day of the week.
• dg likes that you don't hold him to any ridiculous standards. you didn't when you first met, you don't now.
• a year in, as the coffee get togethers graduate from; “see you next week!” to, "it's getting late… wanna crash at my place?", dg begins to realise he likes you.
• when he does realise this, it's really out of the blue. the pieces just click into place and he's like - oh!
• dg enjoys your company, of course! but he’s hyper aware of his idol status, he doesn’t want to bring you into that world if he can help it.
• he already knew you liked him romantically. i mean, he's got thousand of fans, he's used to them having crushes on him, it's always obvious - it just so happens that you found your way into his life.
• after his journey of self discovery he clears his hectic schedule the best he can to spend more time with you.
• when you two do eventually get together officially, after an excruciating amount of time dancing around blurred lines, you don't publicise your relationship.
• you and dg both understand the consequences it would have not only on his idol career but on your wellbeing, fangirls can be insane! you would know.
• i feel like his love language would definitely be quality time. since he usually has so little of it to spare, every moment counts. those focused and uninterrupted conversations, where the only thing that matters is you two, on that moment.
• to be honest, i’d put acts of service high up on this too. i don’t think he’d care all too much about gift giving (with how rich he is, material objects lose their value), physical touch i reckon he’d be normal with, it is given and received in moderate amounts.
• words of affirmation are at the bottom of the list. honeyed words are all good and nice but actions speak louder than words. he’d rather show he cares than simply say it.
• he does offers to teach you how to defend yourself, whether you accept or not is up to you!
• i also think this man is the OPPOSITE of a blanket hog. like he sleeps with the THINNEST sheet over him and every time you ask him if he wants to come under the nice warm duvet covers he says he’s too hot already.
• yet he still cuddles with you at night, hmmmm 🤔.
• don’t even get me started on if you offer to massage his shoulders after he’s had a long day. dg is sure he’s been sent an angel from heaven.
• going out for your dates requires caution, but at this point dg would do anything for you.
• usually date nights take place in your apartment though. dg is very much a classic kind of guy so make sure you’ve got some vases because you should be expecting flowers from him by now.
• relaxing with you at the end of the night is often the highlight of his day. free from flashing cameras and over eager fans - not that he didn’t appreciate his glamorous lifestyle! after all, it’s how he met you.
• so when you’re both curled up on the sofa or in bed, with you fast asleep in his arms, he allows himself a moment to think of his future, your future. together.
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© CERISAHH 2024 — all fics on this account belong to… ME! don’t steal my shit.
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moondirti · 1 year
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Ok so I’d love to imagine Simon’s reaction to an s/o who’s been put through the ringer, like I’m talking hell and back again, has definitely been covered in the blood of her enemies at some point, but still managed to be the team’s ray of sunshine. Laughing, unafraid to trust them as soon as she meets them, affectionate with all of them even. I imagine that as soon as Simon has her, he’d never let go. Even if the voices in his head are reluctant to welcome her in the first place, doing everything possible to convince him he’s undeserving.
I have so many feelings for him 😭❤️
okay but he definitely would initially think smth along the lines of 'what the hell is wrong with this girl' because, well:
It's the festering aftermath of an awry mission; a gaping wound, splattering continuous ichor onto tiled floors. They'd lost three men. No one is doing good - not even Soap, who usually has some quick intervention, alcohol he seemingly pulls from midair.
You're new, only familiar with Gaz from a previous mission. Ghost thinks there might be something more between you when you smooth your hand on his shoulder and mutter a quiet word to the man.
But then you drift over to Soap, who attempts to crack a smile when you sit next to him and prod at how he's doing. It's... bizarre; the most the men share is a gruff 'you broken?', the bare minimum when it comes to reassurances. Yet, you breeze past all that, feathered grace, and stick your hands a little deeper, right over where it hurts.
After you get Johnny to genuinely laugh, you start to approach Ghost.
He leaves before you can ask.
And you don't change. Not after a month, not when it's been a year - packed with never ending, hardened turmoil. He sees you lose the people closest to you, comes to learn about how you got here in the first place. It's some tough fucking luck, he admits. Enough to drive the strongest wild.
So when you still extend a positivity he knows you lack internally? Ghost makes a silent vow to himself to try and extend the favour. He can never measure up to you, will never move with such kindness, but-
He keeps an eye on you on those particularly rough days. Makes an effort to silently learn your favourite snacks and brand for socks and leaves a bag full of them by your room. He takes care of himself so when you see him next, he can answer with some semblance of honesty:
How are things?
Solid.
And he has you to thank for it.
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goodluckclove · 17 days
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On Not Writing
Hi! I'm back. i had a fun two days of doing absolutely nothing writing related, including scrolling this blog. Wife and I played a lot of Valheim. Took a lot of bike rides. Watched Interstellar for the first time - pretty good, kind of silly at the end. It was my first two-day weekend in probably three months, so it was much-needed, hard as it was.
And it got me thinking of some things I wanted to say to the community here. It's especially targeted towards younger writers, of which I used to be one, but I think it can apply to anyone who finds themselves despairing over how much they aren't writing.
Let's imagine you're sitting with me in this coffee shop. It's an overcast Portland morning and I just inadvertently vivisected a croissant. And as we sip our drinks (I ordered a lavender latte), you lament to me. I don't know what to do, Clove. I just haven't been writing!
You know what I say to that?
Good.
This is a new hot take of mine that I, once again, worry about upsetting people with. Because I see a lot of guides here about how to write, or how to write consistently, or how to write through writers block. But I haven't seen a single person talking about the inverse - how to not write. Or - perhaps more accurately - how to exist as a human being separate from your identity as a writer.
This is a problem for me.
Listen - I started young. I was 12 when I wrote my first novella, and 13 when I completed my first novel the next year. Adults in my life were impressed by the big-eyed child writing so many words. They encouraged me. I wrote two more novels, and they continued to encourage me. Because of the potential, right? I could be successful. I could be famous.
People stopped pushing me to try other things. I saw I was getting validation as a writer, so that only pushed me to continue fixating over something I was already enjoying and getting pretty good at. Dad had me writing two thousand words every day, because that's what Stephen King did. At 16 I finished four full-length novels, which everyone thought was really cool and interesting. I was also sporting dual hand braces every day throughout the winter to cope with the carpal tunnel I still struggle with to this day.
There is encouraging a person in their passion. There is also poisoning them with the belief that their self-worth comes from pursuing that passion. This is entirely, absolutely, even more true for younger writers and artists.
I am enraged for the young writer in my heart and in my head. Because they worried about a lot of the same things I see people worry about on here. Oh, if I don't write I'm not a writer! And to an extent they're right, as to be a writer you need to at some point write some stuff.
But here's the fucking thing, Young Clover - a child should not strive for the work ethic of a professional adult. You did not need to write 2k words a day to be a writer. You were a writer as soon as you updated that terrible Invader Zim fanfiction you wrote when you were 10.
And more than that, though, the most important thing to a person should not be their job and aspirations. If you don't write every day, you're still a writer. If you've never written anything, you aren't - and that's fine. You might write something later down the line, or you might not. Either way you are still entitled to exist on the planet and capable of living a full and passionate and wonderful life.
Hear my words: being a writer is not more important than being a human being.
If you aren't writing right now, maybe you're not supposed to be. Maybe you're meant to be nurturing your relationships, or nurturing yourself. Maybe you're supposed to be volunteering. Or meeting new people. Or gaining a new field of knowledge. Or getting really good at making focaccia bread. Or watching every Mark Wahlberg movie.
I don't like to hear this any more than you do. If I was told that I, for some reason, was not allowed to write for the rest of my life, I would be miserable for maybe a long time. After that passed it's my hope that I would move on and do other things, because my worth is not dependent on being a writer. I like doing it. I like being it, and I hope to be one for the rest of my life. But I never want it to be the first thing people see when they look at me. I don't even like bringing it up in conversation with people I don't already know.
So yeah, if you have "writer's block", maybe consider putting down the pickaxe and getting some rest. Step away entirely from the large boulder that stands between you being the next Stephen King or Brandon Sanderson or Teen Dystopia Writer no. 2321. Take a break, and I mean an ACTUAL break, not the kind where you spend the whole time sulking about work.
I am legitimately begging the writers on here to have developed lives and interests outside of writing. I am begging because I do not have that and it has consistently been one of the hardest things of my life.
You prioritize living outside your writing and it will improve the quality of your writing when you get back to it, as it'll allow you a frame of reference that extends beyond our niche industry. Or it might make you realize that, while you enjoy writing, what you really love is ceramics. Or game developing. Or mutual-aid activism. Or the movies of Mark Wahlberg.
It is not your job to treat yourself like you already have a dozen deadlines and an audience teetering on the edge of disappointment. That's ultimately not going to help you. Your job on this earth is to exist fully, for the sake of the universe that wants so desperately to live vicariously through you.
So breathe. Breathe and calm down. You aren't a failure and there's nothing you have to prove. All you have to do today is drink some water and have a nice snack while you look at a cloud.
Please be kind. All of us need to be kinder to each other and to ourselves.
That's all I want to say. I love you dearly. Please let me know if you need anything.
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meowmeowmeowmeow4x · 1 month
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Dark Blue Moon and the Suffering Sun Chapter 11
hope u enjoy this :D and please comment and reblog! each and every one of them warms my heart up so much <3
credit to @brekitten for betaing this. Seriously she was lowkey amazing and i exploded from it
and by lowkey amazing i mean just straight up amazing
credit to @adonneniel (at least I think that's them. I'll correct it next chapter if not) for the I Spy joke inspiration :3
MASTAPOST
Jack Fenton’s mad driving had them racing up the mountain path. Bruce couldn’t even enjoy the beautiful scenery as every corner seemed to invite a brush with death. He wasn’t sure if the orange man was insane and lucky or one of the best drivers he’d met in his life. In no time at all, they reached the top of the mountain, a noted campsite for many an adventurous teen or young couple.
Many teens, except for the missing trio at this moment.
Bruce already knew Daniel Fenton wouldn’t be here in all likelihood. And if he wasn’t here, there was little chance his two closest friends would, either. No, it was almost certainly a lie to disguise some other kind of activity, but it didn’t sit right with him that they might be doing something normal for a rebellious teen. Gangs, drugs, petty vandalism, dares. Something about their secretive demeanour and false aloofness pointed to a more fantastical answer. A more dangerous one.
As Bruce and the Fentons hopped off the SAV, they confirmed his suspicions. All he could see was trees, campfire stones, and bits of litter.
From his profile of Sam Manson, she would never tolerate such a thing. Every time he saw her, it was a protest of some kind, or loudly accosting litterers and people wearing leather jackets and carrying crocodile handbags, which practically confirmed his suspicions.
“Let’s spread out, we’ll cover more ground, and then meet back here in ten minutes.”
Ten minutes later, the three parents returned to the SAV, utterly empty-handed. Jack looked distraught, and Madeline was idly squeezing the handle of another gun. He hadn’t noticed that before. How many weapons did these people have?
“No sign. Nothing. Zilch.” Madeline muttered. “Why would they lie to us?”
Why wouldn’t a teenager lie, to be honest?
“Have you ever seen them do anything strange or out of the ordinary?” Bruce asked, the softer voice of a worried father.
Jack gasped. “What, like drugs?! Gangs? We chased those suckers out of town years ago! Danno would never get tangled with them!”
That was a story that Bruce would probably have to look into later.
At the same time, Madeline’s brow furrowed. “He did go missing half a year ago…”
Jack’s expression softened. “Yeah, kid was so shaken he never spoke about it. Can you imagine? Gone for a week, then shows up back home outta nowhere and didn’t even wanna talk about it.”
Bruce nodded, understanding fully what they had felt. Jack punched his open palm. “I oughta find whoever was responsible and tear them apart. Molecule by molecule.” His body slumped, voice losing its vigour again. “But Jazzy told us it was only gonna hurt him, pressing for info, so we haven’t.”
“After that, his grades started dropping. Danny’s a genius I tell you. A Fenton in every way, but after we got him back, he started skipping class, and making vague excuses all the time…” She shook her head and sat down, body seeming to gain days of exhaustion in a second. “It’s like he’s changed, somehow.”
Bruce considered this info… Sixth months ago? The timeline was suspicious. Six months ago, Daniel Fenton had gone missing. A week later, he shows up out of nowhere, refusing to speak of his experience. Soon after, sirens began to terrorise the city, with Phantom playing sometimes hero, sometimes criminal. Daniel Fenton’s behaviour changes drastically. Daniel, his two friends and Damian disappear on the same day. What was the connection?
Jack Fenton crouched on the ground beside his wife, frowning. “But that’s surely gotta be some kind of trauma response, right? That’s what Jazzy always says.”
“Maybe…” Bruce muttered.
Jack picked up on this, and looked up to where Bruce was still standing. “Maybe what, Brucie?”
“No, it was just a curiosity I had. I’m so sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering about Phantom. Didn’t he appear six months ago too?”
Instantly, the Fenton parents scowled. Madeline clenched her fist around the gun. “That damned fishboy. He parades himself as a hero but we all know he’s a menace! Just last week he stole one of the prototypes for the Fenton Wrist Ray! How?! He doesn’t even have legs!”
And that right there was the big question, but there were a few hang-ups before he could move forward with his theory.
“I thought some of the previous sirens who attacked had legs.”
Jack shrugged, his hands making a so-so motion. “Well it’s actually kind of interesting. See, sirens’ bodies are based on a-“
Maddie laid a hand on his shoulder. “Honey, maybe we should keep the explanation short this time.”
“Right! The answer is we don’t know!”
Madeline face-palmed. “Some sirens demonstrate the ability to shift between their true form and a human-passing form. That being said, we’ve never seen Phantom’s human form, so we don’t even know if he can’t, or just hasn’t. We know for a fact there are some sirens that straight up can’t shift, but what determines that fact is unclear.”
Bruce hummed. A moment of pause before the next thought. “What if he didn’t need to shift?”
The Fentons’ mouths gaped open. “Are you saying…?”
“The last time I talked to your son before he disappeared, he didn’t seem to share most of your opinions towards the siren race. He seemed… evasive.” More than that. Daniel Fenton looked like he had the world on his shoulders, and he couldn’t share it with anyone. Or rather: couldn’t share it with his parents.
“That’s impossible! Danno would never-” But Madeline interrupted her husband.
“He has been running off a lot. Jack, how else would our inventions get into Phantom’s hands?”
Jack Fenton stared at his wife for a minute, eyes slowly opening in horror. “Floundering fishes. The punk’s brainwashed him!”
Bruce waved his hands back and forth frantically. “Maybe that’s going a bit far, don’t you think? I’m sure there’s-”
Madeline grabbed his arm and yanked him into the SAV with surprising might. “No time! I know where the kids are!”
Bruce startled, even as Jack Fenton jumped into the driver’s seat. How on earth did she make that deduction?
Of course, he didn’t doubt their intelligence, only their sanity. They were smart enough to figure out all of this tech, but detectives they were not (the profile he had done on them was thorough). Perhaps he underestimated them.
Hold on, what was he thinking? His deduction was that the kids were somewhere on the coast, in one of the many coves around Amity Bay, where they likely snuck out often to contact Phantom.
In that case, why on earth was Jack not turning the duckboat around?
“Dr Fenton, what are you doing?!” The high-pitched squeak at the end of his question was regrettably not entirely fake.
“The fastest way to rescue the kids!” Jack said, a manic gleam in his eyes visible via the rear view mirror. The mad scientist slammed the gas. Bruce’s seat slammed into his back. The billionaire braced himself.
The SAV charged through the campsite, weaving in between trees and rocks and debris. Up ahead the woods cleared to reveal the ocean over a cliff.
Jack did not slow down. He sped up. The cliff came closer. And closer. Jack sped up further.
There was no longer any ground beneath the wheels.
We cut to preserve Bruce Wayne’s dignity.
Meanwhile, in the middle of the ocean…
Damian scanned his left. He scanned the right. He glanced up into the clear sky. He peered down at the dark. He took a peek behind his shoulders. With his decision made, he made his declaration with poise and finality.
“I spy with my little eye, something b-”
“IT’S THE WATER!”
Damian’s eye twitched.
Danny nodded eagerly, like a lost puppy begging for attention. Scratch that. Lost puppies were far more lovable. “Come on. It’s the water, right? Right??”
“I spy. With my. Little. Eye. Something beating. You imbecile.”
“Crap. Uhhhmm…” Danny blinked, eyes turning sky high as he searched for answers. “Is it a bird? Because some people call their movements wingbeats.”
Damian’s jaw dropped. “No! It was your heart! Your heart beating!” He punctuated every word with an aggressive tap at Danny’s translucent chest, a still frighteningly visceral display case for his blue heart.
“That’s stupid! I could’ve come up with a better one!”
“The last three you did were the water, the sky and the sun respectively.”
“I said I could, not that I would!”
“I do admit. I did not account for birds’ wingbeats.”
“HAH!”
Back to the parents…
Never had Bruce ever feared for his life more than what just happened.
May he never speak of it again.
“See Brucie? Jack Fenton is an ace driver. You’ll never fear for your life in my capable hands!”
Madeline nudged her husband. “Honey, focus.”
“Oh sorry. Where to, sweetie?”
“The cove!”
Bruce shook the adrenaline off. Back to business. Coincidentally, he’d just received a pertinent message from the Cave.
“Hey B.” Tim’s voice filtered through the tiny ear piece Bruce kept at all times, accompanied by rapid clacking, almost fast enough to merge into a continuous clackackckackackack. “Half the footage you sent was corrupted. I saved the other half, but I haven’t been able to look through it. Currently fighting a hacker and trying to get back into Amity’s servers. Just got a breakthrough though. He’s based in Amity, currently location: the cove just underneath the mountain on the main island. RR Out.”
Bingo.
That cove being a hollow space in the mountain carved out by seawater and erosion. There was a small waterfall covering the entrance and obscuring view. As the SAV drove past the barrier, Bruce heard two gasps of shock.
There they were. A black boy in a yellow shirt and red beret, skin caked in sweat, hunched over a desk with a laptop glaring brightly in the otherwise-dimly lit room. Beside him, a pale girl in all black, clutching an old tome and glaring viciously at him.
But where on earth was Daniel Fenton?
And where was Damian?
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