#i AM the gay adoptive dad for reals!!!!!!

[thanonymousotp]

pia dragalia lost send tweet

[welcometoteyvat]

jing yuan and yanqing are giving zhongli and xiao if the latter’s canon relationship was Actually fanon’s made up father figure/adopted child dynamic

[newnlovesjennie]

one piece au where literally nothing went wrong everyone is alive and happy hc's

nami

belle mere is still alive obvi

the attack on her island was less of an attack and more of like a alliance? like the fishman pirates pulled up and were like hey we need a hideout can we pls use ur island. and they were like yeah offer us protection and in turn u can use our island! no violence no blood nothing!!

in this au fisher tiger is still alive and the fishman pirates are still what he envisioned before his death, so he’s the captain, not arlong

speaking of arlong he’s like hella toned down. he got the jinbei affect in the sense that koala changed him and showed him humans aren’t all bad. yeah sure he’s more radical and unhinged than the other pirates but he’s just like the weird conservative uncle you tolerate at thanksgiving not a real threat

hachi and nami bonding!!!

nami never develops an obsession with money, she gets to put her full effort into map making and exploring that talent

she makes maps for the fishman pirates completely out of her own free will

she joins the movement for fishman human equality woohoo!!!

yeah in this au that movement actually gets taken seriously instead of played off and the fishmen actually make progress in equality 

koala visits sometimes! koala and nami bonding time!!!

law

doflamingo is toned down like 1000% in this au he’s not a family killer in this one he’s just odd

like seriously idk how the logistics would work but maybe somehow after the whole “doffys family becomes human” thing the humans don’t persecute him? so in turn he just kinda is pretentious and misses being rich instead of holding a particular grudge against humanity?

either way he’s also just the weird conservative uncle you see at thanksgiving 

corazon is number one dad ever did he offer law henny for his 8th birthday yes does he know how to do laundry or cook not at all but he is trying his best!

LAW BABY FIVE AND BUFFALO AS COUSINS. PLEASE!!!! dellinger too maybe idk if he’s a kid or not tho

the executives like trebol diamante whatever the fuck also aren’t as evil either they just tryna do their own thing yk just black market deal in peace but no unnecessary killing 

donquixote family stays pirates instead of going and trying to take a whole kingdom (took a shit ton of convincing for doffy to accept that)

the whole pirate warlord thing gives doffy enough prestige he don’t need to be a king necessarily 

law eats the op op fruit, doffy tries to get him to make him immortal, corazon slaps him, doffy changes his mind

(i am taking so many liberties in this au omg)

zoro

kuina didn’t fucking fall down a flight of stairs!! yippee!!!

their whole competition abt who will be the greatest swordsman is still on

they venture outside the dojo and become pirates

both bounty hunters maybe

kuina is so so gay

hear me out…. kuina x tashigi? LET ME COOK

yeah zoros just there

they find their way to mihawks island without the whole kuma blasting zoro to a random island thing

they beg mihawk to train them but he’s like wtf get out of my house but they show potential and he’s like ok fine ill train y’all 

persona is also there bc i said so FUCK MORIA ALL MY HOMIES HATE MORIA she left him and somehow ended up with mihawk he also let her stay for some reason (he needs to stop adopting kids)

hear me out…. perona x kuina? or at the very least they become besties

once again zoro is just there

robin

olvia and saul are still alive

all of her island is still alive, don’t ask why the world government is ok with that they just are shhhh shhhhh 

robin grows up an archeologist but decides she needs to find the poneglyphs and discover the truth of the world

so she becomes a pirate and joins baroque works, led by crocodile

he respects her (WHAT) doesn’t try to kill her (WHAT) and they actually have a fun friendship a friendly lil boss secretary relationship its adorable

she helps crocodile get with doffy because god knows he couldn’t do it himself

ok if this is how this au is going robins gotta be besties with bon clay come on. mr three hello?? 

[beanghostprincess]

Trans buggy is my lifeblood and I am SO HAPPY YOU LOVE HER TOO and I'm feral I'm shaking the bars of my cage FUCK I LOVE WOMEN

Like. Yes. Absolutely, Shanks and Buggy have little bits and pieces of ALL their parents, specifically Ray and Roger but No Adult Was Safe From Their Assimilated Found Family, Alright?

Shanks does this one movement when he's showing off and being SILLY about it that he picked up from Oden. Buggy uses chopsticks more easily than forks and spoons, which is mind boggling to those who know her and how clutzy she is.

Crocus was the KING of unexpected and frankly terrifying threats, something Buggy learned like a damned religion. Shanks got his penchant for Gay Uncle On Holiday clothes and patterns from him.

A lot of Shanks' attacks and swordplay was taught to him by Roger and Rayleigh, so his style is a mix of their own with a TWIST that's all him. Buggy wasn't as interested in swordsmanship, but she certainly isn't a novice at it. The forms and katas to her are meditative, and she can't really sit still for normal meditation ((AuDHD Buggy my beloved)) so THIS is her way of grounding. Her knife fighting is also derived from Ray's style, with quick, devasting blow that focus more on backlash damage, Haki and agility.

Buggy and Shanks both have Roger's grin, and when Rayleigh sees them, grown and side by side and beaming and greeting him so warmly, part of him breaks and heals and splinters and oozes love. He of course will not show weakness and instead teases them, as is his love language.

Also consider Cross Guild adopting the Seraphims. Stuff's normal at first until they give the kids some children's books. Cue "what is a dad? What is a mom?" questions. The adults answer them, and the kids simply nod before wandering off again.

Then, a few hours later, Buggy feels a tiny hand tug-tug at her pants. It's two little dark haired tykes, big saffron and violet eyes staring up at her. She blinks. "What's up, munchkins?"

"Mother, we want a snack and fathers are busy."

"Oh. Yeah, sure thing, sweeties, let me ju- WAITWHAT-?!"

Shanks is frothing, seething, crying in the window like a Victorian woman betrayed when he gets word that Buggy and the other two have "sons". He then proposes they have a baby too, to be fair.

Then the kids call him uncle or father twice removed and he is suddenly living his best life wdym he's gonna be the BEST uncle ever, hey kids wanna go harass people-?

Buggy is BEYOND flustered but she's also.... really flattered? Shanks wants a baby? With HER?? Like a real, whole ass baby. Wow. And she already has two sons! Maybe. Her little Birdie seems a tad unphased by the concept of gender anyway, so she won't push. She has two kids. And Shanks wants a third. Wow. Wow~ ♡

And then Crocodile has to go and ruin it by suggesting the kids stay with "auntie Al" for the weekend, while the guys see if they can get that baby idea rolling~

Buggy proceeds to blush so hard she's STEAMING and promptly faints.

I FUCKING LOVE WOMEN TOO!!!!!!!!!!! SCREAMING THIS EVERYWHERE I GO!!!!!!!!!

Both of them having traits of all their parents and role models and keeping them with them forever,, When Rayleigh sees them again he's so fond of their little gestures and :(( He loves them so so much.

Also, the whole thing about Cross Guild adopting the Seraphims is just so so cute. And them calling Buggy 'mom'??????? Crying and sobbing, idk. Cute family that is not dysfunctional but pretty much not normal my beloved.

Honestly, Buggy as a mom just feels so right. But especially as an adoptive mom, you know? She just keeps seeing outcasts and understanding them so well and wanting to take care of them. Tbh, Shanks and Buggy should just,, Find a kid in a treasure chest and keep the baby.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Do you think gay marriage is legalized in the WW (at least in Harry’s time in the 90s)? I lean towards no as I don’t really see the WW being that anymore progressive (most likely less) than we are when it comes to sexuality (Also I don’t think it helps that they are a culture that highly values continuing the magical bloodlines). What’s your take?

I agree with you here. I don't think it's likely that they legalized same-sex marriages.

In Hogwarts Legacy, there are Nora and Priya Tradwell who are two women who were married to each other in 1890. That being said, I don't really consider HL 100% canon since other aspects of it contradict the books (the castle is gorgeous but why is the potions classroom not in the dungeons?!). So, I'm kinda picking and choosing what's canon when it comes to the video games.

But in the books, we don't see any indication that it's legal or treated any differently than in the muggle world at the time.

The only real reference I could recall from the books to anything gay (explicitly) is Dudley taunting Harry about being gay (because this happened):

“What d’you mean, I’m not brave in bed?” said Harry, completely nonplussed. “What — am I supposed to be frightened of pillows or something?” “I heard you last night,” said Dudley breathlessly. “Talking in your sleep. Moaning.” “What d’you mean?” Harry said again, but there was a cold, plunging sensation in his stomach. He had revisited the graveyard last night in his dreams. Dudley gave a harsh bark of laughter then adopted a high-pitched, whimpering voice. “ ‘Don’t kill Cedric! Don’t kill Cedric!’ Who’s Cedric — your boyfriend?” “I — you’re lying —” said Harry automatically. But his mouth had gone dry. He knew Dudley wasn’t lying — how else would he know about Cedric? “ ‘Dad! Help me, Dad! He’s going to kill me, Dad! Boo-hoo!’ ” “Shut up,” said Harry quietly. “Shut up, Dudley, I’m warning you!” “ ‘Come and help me, Dad! Mum, come and help me! He’s killed Cedric! Dad, help me! He’s going to —’ Don’t you point that thing at me!” Dudley backed into the alley wall. Harry was pointing the wand directly at Dudley’s heart. Harry could feel fourteen years’ hatred of Dudley pounding in his veins — what wouldn’t he give to strike now, to jinx Dudley so thoroughly he’d have to crawl home like an insect, struck dumb, sprouting feelers — “Don’t ever talk about that again,” Harry snarled. “D’you understand me?”

(OotP, 15)

I can't say much more than Harry is bothered, whether it is about the assumption that Cedric is his boyfriend or that Dudley makes fun of Cedric's death is up to guesswork (I think it's probably a bit of both). But it doesn't appear other sexualities are any more accepted or openly talked about in the WW compared to the muggle one. I'd say even less in all likelihood.

I also agree with you on how important having children and continuing the family line is for pure-bloods (which is at least 50% of their population), I doubt they encourage gay marriage. Honestly, the more accepting pure-bloods probably treat it like: "Sleep with whoever you want in your free time, but get married and give us an heir", while other families are probably worse.

That being said, we do see on the family tapestry that both Alphard Black and Cassiopia Black didn't get married or have kids, so if you have enough siblings to carry the family line for you, you could get away with not getting married and having children. But with how Andromeda was disowned for marrying a muggleborn, it's likely anything less than the perfect pure-blood marriage would have had to stay fairly hidden for you to not get disowned.

I also agree that with how archaic many aspects of their culture are (from quills to their education standards, to candles, to the fact canning students was practiced at Hogwarts when Molly and Arthur Weasley were students, etc...), it's highly unlikely they're more progressive than muggles when it comes to, well, anything. Like, indoor plumbing supposedly came to Hogwarts in the 18th century alongside the muggle advancements in this field, but it was noted in Pottermore that wizards rarely copy from muggles to such a degree. So, I don't think wizards would be pioneering gay rights or anything like that.

So, yeah, I agree, I don't think same-sex couples could legally get married in the Wizarding World as there is no indication they can, but I don't think they're getting executed either (as was the case in the UK in the late 19th century), so, there's at least that. I think it's treated like a dirty secret that'll cause a scandal in some circles, but it's not illegal to be gay in the WW.

[therealdeathoracle]

Since people seemed to like my incorrect bsd quotes from my coworkers I decided to do another one with quotes from my friends

Atsushi: “Been ignored so much bitches call me terms and conditions.”

Akutagawa: “At least you get accepted no matter what.”

——————————————————————————

Kunikida: “Bitchboys! Wait what are they called? Dazai! Yes!”

Ranpo: “I'm going to start calling him that.”

Dazai: “You want to see the real bitch come out?”

——————————————————————————

Chuuya: “Ok I think I have a solution.”

*Explosion in the distance*

Chuuya: “Don’t worry about that.”

——————————————————————————

Atsushi: “That was before I realized he was my dad.”

——————————————————————————

Chuuya: “Fan-fucking-tastic just trying to enjoy my meal and god decides to show up!”

——————————————————————————

Ranpo to Fukuzawa: “Hey look! An old gay white man! That's better than an old white straight man!”

——————————————————————————

Kyouka: “Murder is fun, cool, and hip!”

——————————————————————————

Jouno: "I am going... to hurt something."

——————————————————————————

Akutagawa: "Don't tell me how to breathe!"

——————————————————————————

Dazai: "Want to know what they called me in college? Application Denied!"

——————————————————————————

Kenji: "Mom says its my turn with the brain cell"

——————————————————————————

Sigma: “Fyodor! Nikolai is grave robbing again!”

Nikolai: “Well it’s not like they need this stuff anymore!”

Fyodor: “He has a solid point, do you need help?”

——————————————————————————

Kenji: "This thanksgiving I’m thankful for Fukuzawa, Ranpo, Kunikida, Yosano, Atsushi, and uh... Kyouka. Yeah that’s everyone."

Dazai: "I really appreciate how I’m not on that list."

——————————————————————————

Chuuya: *Attacks someone for picking a flower off a bush*

Chuuya handing the flower to Dazai: “Here’s your flower back, freaking freeloaders.”

——————————————————————————

Jouno: “Hold that thought, it’s time for me to beat up Tecchou.”

——————————————————————————

Jouno: “Well time for me to fight Tecchou and kill some bad guys, and I’m all out of bad guys.”

Tecchou: “Oh shit!”

——————————————————————————

*During the ADA’s DnD game night* 

Kunikida: “Dazai, you can’t play a bard. We all know you’re just gonna fuck everything.”

Dazai: "THAT’S A LIE! I just want to hit someone over the head with a lute! Then I’ll fuck someone!"

——————————————————————————

Akutagawa: “Dazai is my personal favorite swear word.”

——————————————————————————

Akutagawa: “I’m like a battery, I’m never included in anything.”

——————————————————————————

Fukuzawa talking to himself when Ranpo is refusing to do work and Dazai hasn’t shown up yet: “Am I surprised? No of course I’m not I bet on it!”

——————————————————————————

Yosano: “Oh you don’t feel so good? I have a fix for that!”

Yosano: *Pulls out a gun*

——————————————————————————

Jouno: "I am very angry- *notices Tecchou nearby* HEY HE’S THE ONE WHO STOLE MY PANTS!"

——————————————————————————

Atsushi: *Panicking running through the ADA with a trash can that he accidentally set on fire* “NO ONE SAW THIS!”

Kunikida, Dazai, Yosano: “WE SAW THAT!”

——————————————————————————

Yosano: *Listing off what she ate today* “I’ve had cheese, crackers, vodka, and egg salad.”

——————————————————————————

Kenji: “I’m gonna do this all on my own!” *turns to Ranpo* “Help me.”

——————————————————————————

Yosano: “You son of a bitch!”

Ranpo: “HEY! DON’T CALL FUKUZAWA A BITCH!”

Yosano: “No I’m calling you a son of a bitch! YOU ARE ADOPTED!”

——————————————————————————

Kenji: *Angrily muttering affirmations to himself*

Yosano: “Is this toxic positivity?”

——————————————————————————

Dazai seeing Chuuya using corruption: “This is what gay panic is mothers and fuckers.”

——————————————————————————

Dazai: *Hands Akutagawa 4 cents he found on the ground*

Akutagawa: “I get to eat tonight!”

Dazai: *Takes back 1 cent* “No you don’t.”

——————————————————————————

Chuuya: *Sees Dazai flirt with some girl*

(What he tried to say) “Great now I’m sad and lonely.”

(What he said) Chuuya: “Great now I’m gay.”

——————————————————————————

Chuuya: “That’s kinda gay, not gonna lie.”

Dazai: “You sound kinda gay, not gonna lie.”

Akutagawa: “I have cheese, not gonna lie.”

——————————————————————————

Dazai: “This is not gonna go well.”

*2 minutes later*

Dazai sprinting down the street: “OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!”

*2 minutes later*

Dazai: “I LOST MY KNIFE!”

——————————————————————————

Dazai: “What gender am I today?”

Atsushi: “12.”

Akutagawa: “32.”

——————————————————————————

Chuuya to Akutagawa: “What’s your opinion on the plan?”

Akutagawa: “Cheese is good.”

Chuuya: “That wasn’t the question.”

Gin: “But it’s the answer.”

——————————————————————————

Akutagawa trying to flirt with Atsushi after getting advice from Kenji on what he likes: “ONION! I HAVE AN ONION FOR YOU! TAKE THE ONION!”

——————————————————————————

Akutagawa: *Trying to show Dazai the new nice outfit Chuuya bought him*

Dazai: *Not even looking at him* “Nice.”

Chuuya: *Angrily* “It’s ok, we all know you hate poor Aku.”

Dazai: *Starts fake crying*

Chuuya: *Sarcastically* “Awww you gonna cry?” *Seriously* “GOOD!” *Leads Akutagawa away while telling him he looks great*

——————————————————————————

Chuuya: “Nothing says pride like dick.”

——————————————————————————

Akutagawa after someone was mean to Atsushi: “You don’t think you’ll end up in hell for what you’ve done, but sweetheart I’ll be seeing you there soon.”

——————————————————————————

Dazai: “I don’t care if you have a cunt or a dick, either way I’m gonna fuck both your mom and dad.”

——————————————————————————

Ranpo giving directions to Kunikida after he got Fukuzawa and himself lost: “Look for someone dressed like it’s Halloween and someone dressed like a single dad.”

——————————————————————————

Kunikida: *Referring to Chuuya being drunk* “I think he’s in denial.”

Dazai: *Also drunk* “Nah he’s in da Amazon!”

Chuuya: *Absolutely wasted using his ability* “I am in da air!”

——————————————————————————

Akutagawa about Atsushi: “I love his heterophobia.”

Akutagawa: “I meant to say heterochromia.”

@stinkyme

[thetravelerwrites]

Growing Pains (Centaur Dads)

Rating: General Audiences Additional Tags: Adoption, Gay Dads, Exophilia, Centaurs, Kids Series: Part 17 of Shelter Forest: The Towns Words: 2,068

When their son comes home from school upset, two centaurs must figure out how to have The Big Talk about what adoption means. Please reblog and leave feedback!

Rollie stalked through the front door with his head down and dropped his writing board by the hall tree. Without bothering to say anything to his fathers, he immediately went to his room, not quite slamming the door but certainly shutting it with more force than normal. Beyram, a Rahvan centaur, and Alphons, a Haflinger centaur, looked at each other in concern and made their way through the open layout of their cottage, knocking on their son’s door. Rollie was a bright, happy eight-year-old child, so for him to be silent and brooding was wildly out of character.

“Rollie?” Beyram asked. “Everything alright?”

Rollie didn’t answer. 

“We’re coming in, alright, son?” 

Again, Rollie said nothing, and his fathers eased the door open. Rollie sat on his bed with his arms crossed sullenly, a tear rolling down his face. 

“Hey, buddy,” Alphons said gently, patting his back softly. Both centaurs folded their legs carefully and knelt next to the bed. “What’s going on? What’s got you so upset?” 

“The kids at school make fun of me,” He said. “They said it’s weird that you both have four legs and that I only have two. They said it means that I’m not your real son.” 

Alphons and Beyram looked at each other and winced. They knew that they’d have to have this conversation eventually, but they hadn’t known it would be so soon. Rollie had only just started going to the local school, and while he enjoyed it at first, he slowly seemed to become more introverted. Now they knew why. 

“Listen, buddy,” Alphons said. “You are our real son. Just because we adopted you doesn’t mean you’re not our son.”

“Adopted?” Rollie asked, looking up in confusion. “What does that mean?” 

“Well,” Beyram began reluctantly. “Da and Pa can’t have babies like other families can–”

“Why not?” Rollie asked guilelessly.

“Oh, god, we don’t need to have this conversation too, do we?” Alphons said in an undertone. Beyram ignored the question.

“Since we can’t have babies the normal way, we decided to look as hard as we could for a child that we could love, and we found you and brought you home with us. That’s what adoption is. It doesn’t matter that we’re centaurs and you’re human, you’re still our son. You’re someone we picked out specially. We chose to love you and be your fathers.”

Rollie frowned, still looking confused. “I don’t understand.” 

Alphons and Beyram looked at each other, at a loss for what to say. 

“So… I am different from you? You’re not really my parents?” 

“No, that’s not it at all!” Alphons insisted. “Of course you’re our son! You can’t ever doubt that! You’re our son and we love you!”

“Listen, son,” Beyram said. “Let’s take a trip tomorrow. We’ll show you what we mean. Alright?” 

“A trip to where?” 

“The place we found you. It’s called an orphanage. It’s where you became our son. Would you like to go see it?”

After a moment of contemplation, Rollie nodded. “Alright.”

The next day, Rollie sat on Alphons’s back and the three of them set off for Coleville, where there was an orphanage that was run by a lizardman named Cetzu and his human wife. It took about a week for them to get there since they traveled slowly and took frequent breaks. They wanted Rollie to have fun on the trip as much as he could, so they went camping and mushroom picking and frog hunting and lots of little activities that Rollie loved to do. He seemed in much better spirits during the journey. 

They reached Coleville and went straight to the orphanage, where Cetzu was outside, sweeping the front steps. Alphons and Beyram had sent a letter to Cetzu in advance, so he had been expecting them.

“This is where you lived before we adopted you,” Beyram said as they came up to the building. “You were only a baby back then, so it’s no surprise you don’t remember.” 

“I lived here?” Rollie asked. “Why?” 

Alphons nudged Beyram, and he fell silent. As far as they were aware, Rollie had been left on the doorstep of the orphanage when he was only a few days old. Thankfully, the orphanage regularly paid mothers in the town to be wet nurses for the infants, otherwise Rollie would have starved. They weren’t sure how to break it to Rollie that he had been abandoned, and had carefully avoided answering direct questions. They knew they’d have to explain it at some point in the trip, but they were dreading that conversation. 

“Welcome!” Cetzu said, rushing forward to shake hands with the centaurs as they arrived. Cetzu was quite tall, but the centaurs dwarfed him by a wide margin. “I’ve been waiting for you. My goodness, is this Rollie? He’s gotten so big!” 

Rollie wasn’t normally shy with strangers, but the nature of the trip had caused a bit of trepidation in him, and he hid a little behind Beyram’s foreleg. 

“Hi,” He said in a small voice. 

“Hello, there,” Cetzu said brightly. “I’m not surprised you don’t remember me, you were barely a year when you left us.” 

“Da and Pa said I lived here when I was a baby,” Rollie said. 

“That’s right,” Cetzu said. “My wife and I looked after you until your fathers came to get you. Would you like to come in and meet the other kids?” 

Rollie nodded and stepped forward toward the garden where about ten other children were playing. He only needed a small amount of encouragement before he was darting around with them, playing chase. 

“We really need your help, Cetzu,” Alphons said a little desperately. “We’ve been hedging the question, but we can’t avoid it forever. How are we supposed to explain that he was abandoned?” 

“Well, we don’t know that he was abandoned, necessarily,” Cetzu said. “It’s entirely possible that his parents died or met with an unfortunate fate. It does happen.” 

“You know what I mean, though,” Alphons insisted. “He keeps asking why. We don’t know how to explain it to him without hurting him.” 

“Well…” Cetzu said sadly. “There may be no avoiding a little bit of upset, I’m afraid. But your job as his parents is to reassure him that he’s loved. Regardless of why his birth parents gave him up, you chose him and you love him. Just make sure he knows that. That’s really the most important thing.” 

“Yes…” Beyram said, watching his son play and laugh. 

“Maybe ask the other kids to help you,” Cetzu suggested. “You’d be surprised how well kids grasp these concepts, regardless of their age. They’re all dying to get adopted. If Rollie hears how excited the kids are to find their own parents, he may understand how special it is to be chosen.” 

“That’s a good idea,” Alphons. “It’s is alright to talk to the children?” 

“Of course,” Cetzu said, stepping aside and waving to the children. “Go right ahead, I’m sure they’d be happy to.” 

Beyram and Alphons stepped into the garden fence. The kids stopped their game and gathered around the centaurs, their faces curious. It wasn’t surprising: centaurs were unusual here on this continent. Beyram and Alphons only knew of two or three others in the region, and they very rarely crossed paths with them. 

“Circle time, kids!” Cetzu said, motioning for them to sit. “Leave room for our new friends.” 

The kids circled up and sat expectantly. Cetzu sat with them and instructed Beyram, Alphons, and Rollie to sit alongside them.

“So,” Cetzu said. “Our new friend Rollie just found out he is adopted. What do you all think about that?” 

Every one of the children raised their hands. 

“Coby?” Cetzu said, pointing at a young boy of perhaps seven. 

“I think it’s great!” Coby said. “I can’t wait to get adopted!” 

“Why?” Rollie asked him. 

“Because I want to have a family, like all my friends from town. I want to have parents and siblings who love me.” 

“How do you know they’ll love you?” 

“Why would they adopt me if they didn’t want to love me?” Coby asked, his head tilted. 

Rollie looked introspective. “How come you don’t have parents? What happened to them?” 

“Nothing,” Coby said matter-of-factly. “They just didn’t want me.” 

“Why?”

“Rollie, that’s rude,” Beyram said in an undertone, but Cetzu shook his head. 

“It’s alright,” Cetzu said, turning back to Coby. “Do you want to answer that question?” 

Coby shrugged. “I don’t know why they didn’t want me,” Coby said. “But that’s not my fault. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m great.” 

The other kids laughed, and Rollie cracked a smile. He still seemed a little confused, but he kept asking the others questions. The others had similar things to say, that they were abandoned or that their parents died or couldn’t take care of them for whatever reason. Beyram and Alphons weren’t sure if Rollie really understood, but they were happy he seemed engaged in the conversation. 

Rollie asked them if they really wanted to be adopted, and they all said yes. When asked why, the answer was the same: They wanted what every other kid in town had. They wanted a family. They wanted to be loved.

Rollie asked the other kids questions for hours, until the sun began to set. Cetzu invited the family to have dinner there, and they accepted. After dinner, Beyram and Alphons left a large donation to the orphanage and left for the local inn. It had a stable room that was rented out to four legged folks, and Beyram booked it. 

As they were settling down for the evening and laying out Rollie’s bedroll, Alphons asked, “Hey, buddy, how are you feeling?” 

“I’m alright,” Rollie said, getting under the blanket. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah,” He said, looking up at his fathers, who were kneeling next to him. “I get it now. I’m special. That’s why you chose me, right?” 

Beyram smiled. “That’s right. You see,” He said, scratching his neck. “When Da and I got married and began living together, we always knew we wanted to have children, but we knew we couldn’t go about it the normal way. We always knew we needed to go about it differently than other families, so we knew we were going to adopt. It took us time to get the house set up the way we wanted and get everything prepared, but as soon as we did, we started looking for our baby.” 

Alphons nodded. “It was a while and a lot of trial and error, and we were worried we may not find the right one, but then we saw you, and it just clicked. We realized you were our child, and you always had been. It just took us a while to find you.” 

Rollie looked pensive. “What happened to my other parents?” 

Alphons sighed, apprehensive. “We don’t know, son. All we know is that Mr. Cetzu and his wife found you outside on the doorstep. There could be any reason why, but we don’t really know.” 

“Hmm…” Rollie hummed. “It doesn’t matter.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah,” Rollie said, standing up out of his bed and throwing his arms around Alphons’s neck for a hug, and then did the same to Beyram. “You’re my parents now. And you love me, right?” 

“Of course,” Alphons said, ruffling Rollie’s hair. “We love you very, very much.” 

“Absolutely,” Beyram said. “We’ve loved you since the day we laid eyes on you, and we always will. You’re our son.” 

“Then it’s fine,” Rollie said, getting back into his bedroll. “Goodnight, Da. Goodnight, Pa.”

“Goodnight, son,” Beyram said. 

“Goodnight, buddy,” Alphons replied. 

Rollie wanted to stay another few days before returning, so it was almost another two weeks before they made it back home. Beyram and Alphons were both worried that Rollie wouldn’t want to return to school, but contrary to their expectations, he wanted to return right away. 

When he returned home from school the first day back, he gave his fathers a hug around the middle and sat at his little table for a snack.

“How was school, son?” Beyram asked. “Did the kids pick on you again?” 

“Yeah, but I didn’t care,” He said nonchalantly. “They didn’t get chosen, so they don’t know anything.” 

Beyram and Alphons smiled, kissed the top of Rollie’s head, and gave him his apple slices.

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi, becoming a Patron, or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[beetlebugdash]

My live thoughts during The Owl House finale! (Major spoiler warning!)

Why so late at night for this finale

But 10/10 for disney for doing a marathon before the finale

WHY AM I ALREADY TEARING UP IT HASNT EVEN STARTED

HERE WE GO

Oh the song

It hurts OWWWWWWWWWWW

ALL THE CHARACTER GROWTH

Here comes the tears 

Oh that wasnt the episode?

Black screen?

Oh no different dimension

HEY!

bELOS?

Creepyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Im just as confused as you luz

DID STRINGBEAN JUST SAY HI?

I dont like this

NONONO PETREFICATION

O MY

LUZ VS AMITY?

Nightmareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

EDA WHATS GOIN ON

NO

Oh shush lilith 

ITS ALL THEIR NIGHTMARES

Willow?

Are they puppets now and their living through the nightmares?

Nice suit evil dream Gus

NOT THE SHOVE

O gosh not hunter

A WITCHES BATTLE?

Its a witches duel

ITS NOT REAL!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

SMART VERY SMART

Now its the title!

And on a rubix cube

REUNITED YAY

THE KISSES AW

RAE RAE

DONT TOUCH FRANCOIS

Dog?

Belos is acting horribly sus rn

MANIPULATION EW

NOT FRANCOIS

“I can imagine”

WAIT HOW DID IT HAPPEN

EDA’S PALICEMAN IS ALIVE!

“Itty bitty spiders”

Kid dosent understand death….. Owch

Thank god there isnt any commercials

HES ALIVE?

RAINE FIGHT IT FIGHT IT

AMITY MOVED

WAIT I DIDNT KNOW THERE WERE COMMERCIALS

I DONT WANT A HACHIMALS FAMILY VACATION

NO

Ooooooooooooo owl house marathon monday (at 8pm smh)

Finally were back

JUMPSCARE PACMAN

10/10 music

Stinger hehe

Marbles?

KING ACTING LIKE A HAMSTER

JENGA!

The blushing and sadness awwww

Lucky number 13 hehe

USING THEM PRONOUNS FOR THE COLLECTOR

THEIR JUST A KID 

COLLECTOR LORE!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Abandonment issues ow

COLLECTOR IS AN INNOCENT KID!

ADOPT THE COLLECTOR 

THE LIGHT GLIPH

NOT BELOS

YES FIGHT RAINE

RAINE VS BELOS

“IM DONE” AHAHAHAHAHA

THATS THE TITAINS HEART

WAIT OWL HOUSE ABRIDGED YAY

Uh ohhhhhhhhhhhh

NOT THE MERGE NO

Im scared mom come pick me up

LIGHT GLYPH

MISS LILITH teehee

SAFETY FOR LUZ

Back to the owl house

“The bird house”

Series recap! Tying all the episodes together!

TALKIN ABOUT SPINOFFS

The mountains!

Kindness and forgiveness

Scary animation

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Holy crow thats a lotta magic

DID RAINE DIE?

YEAAA COLLECTOR MAGIC!

tHAT DOSENT WORK COLLECTOR

NONONONO

AMPHIBIA?

WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Oh my OH MY WHAT

EVEN HER MOM KNEW

KING AND EDA ARE PISSED

IM PISSED

Yep shes really gone wow

Dimension portal?

OW

Who what huh

HOOTY?

KINGS DAD

IN GHYPH PJS

BAD GIRL COVEN TSHIRT

“King and queen, best of both things”

AW BEST PARENT AWARD

Is that king andrias’s va?

THE BOILING ISLES

POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aw saying something to king TELL ME

Epic music is epic music

Rest in peace

CAMILLA IS AWAKE

Uh oh 

ARE THEY PULLING A SVTFOE?

Theyd better not be

YOU BROUGHT PAPER YAY

THE TEARS AND APPOLOGIES

BOOM

NEW FORM LUZ

WOA

LONG HAIR AND MATCHING EYES TOO

YOOOOOOOOOOO

COLLECTOR HELPING!

SMOOTH ANIMATION

AW

BOOM LIGHT

THE GLYPH IN THE MOUTH

Woa skys above

THE SMILE

NOT THE FLIPPING COMMERTIALS

FINALLY

Whistle?

RAINE!

AW

TEH KISSING

“Fluffier?”

AZURA SPEECH BUT LUZ

OH NO COLLECTOR

NOW EAT THIS SUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Is he gone for good?

“I dont feel so good” -belos

AW THE ACCEPTANCE

ITS SO PRETTYYYYYYYYYYYY

Philip?

Oh just kick him already

KICK HIM YAY

Transformation sequence?

Back to nomal form aw

I LOAF YOU AW

Aw

IS THAT HOW IT ENDS?

STEVE!

AW REUNITED!

GAY KISS!

DARIUS AND HUNTER!

Idk how i feel about the music?

THE CUDDLING!

KISS!

HOOTYS LASHES

FRANCOIS!

Awwwww at least the collector gets a happy ending

No more glyphs…

Awwwwwwwww

LUZ!

COLLEGE?

TIMESKIP

PORTAL WORKS!

AWWWWWW

HUNTER MAKES PALICMAN

A flapjack gravestone awwwwwwwwwwwwww

THE MUSTACHE

LILITH GLOW UP

AMITY LOOKS AWESOME

Prof bump the gardner awwwwwww

Oooooooo new power

DARIUS AND AMITYS DAD SHIP?

Raine looks GOOD

GUS LOOKS COOL

EDA YESSSSSSSSSSSS

Eda became what she feared, a headmaster

KING-CENERA AW

A DRESS AND AZURA CAKE

Wow king is big

Aw a shooting star!

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Oh that was a PERFECT ENDING!

[genderascendant]

✨ofmd fic rec list✨

Here it is, the list absolutely no one one of my friends all of you have been waiting for: my our flag means death fic recs!! Now, I mostly like AUs and long-ish fics and am ambivalent about smut, so that's what most of this list is; but I put a couple of very special post-canon fics at the beginning, and shorter or one-shot fics at the end. My absolute favorites are marked with 🌸. Enjoy! 💖

post-canon-ish

🌸 Chiaroscuro by @menaceanon - WIP, 22k, T - gratuitous Mary and Ed get to be buds content. Their friendship and bonding is so so sweet, and especially since Jenkins said Mary probably won't make a return...... enjoy it here!!

Uncle Ed by StormySeaWitch - WIP, 21k, T - twin narratives about Ed adopting the kiddos, and one I actually like even more: Stede and co. slowly plotting and executing a takeover of the English naval ship that rescued them:') It's great Stede competence and killing-with-kindness content

Wayfaring by @justkeeptrekkin - 35k, E - Unbelievable masterpiece where Stede and Ed have to make up on the deserted island they're stranded on. The exploration of EMOTIONS. The ROMANTICISM, the SCENES. I have no words, you just have to read it

🌸 the only proof the field existed by @nonagethimus - 22k, M - Also a masterpiece. Part 1 is a searing character study of Ed and Lucius, and part 2 is a perfect reunion. Screaming and crying and throwing up.

AUs

🌸 it's what isn't in the name by tciddaemina - 41k, M - the entire Season 1 rewritten as a daemon AU. Absolutely love the characterization here and it feels so real, i came out feeling like i had an entire extra version of the season in my brain.

it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do by lacecat - WIP, 33k, M - Stede opens a gastropub. Ed owns the dive bar down the street. An accidental murder leads to... them getting married the day they meet so they can't be made to testify against each other. It's SO well plotted and sweet and funny that so far, it's my only reread.

🌸 Ship in a Bottle by @neverwaswise - WIP, 14k, NR - HRRRNGH i am so obsessed with this one. Lighthouse keeper Stede, literal kraken Ed. The characterization is INCREDIBLE and i absolutely LIVE and am FERAL for this Little Mermaidy version of Ed. THE SWEETNESS!!!!! Shutting up now!

Bark and Bite by @amuseoffyre - WIP, 32k, M - the vampire/werewolf AU of my DREAMS. Season 1 rewritten with vampire!ed and werewolf!stede, of course. It's incredibly silly and sweet, and I love how they work the au into the canon. An update always brightens my day!!

🌸 this tired world could change by @sassygwaine - 95k, E - FERAL I SAY. Stede is a depressed office worker at his dad's company, Ed is a mechanic and ex-enforcer for the mob. The way their relationship is written and grows is.......... so, so beautiful, I can't even. There's a sequel coming!!

We were the winds -writing our names in the sky- by sapphos_gh0st - WIP, 37k, T - What if Ed and Stede met as teenagers? Impossibly sweet and fluffy, literally soothes my soul. Boys finding the love and sweetness and care they DESERVE *clenches fist*

🌸 Once Upon a Summer in San Francisco by samwise - WIP, 95k, M - This fic has me in a fucking chokehold. I am rabid about it, obsessed. 1970s AU, Ed is a drug dealer with a record store front, and meets Stede at a music festival. Their lives and their world feel so real and lived-in, which makes their love story that much more compelling. Excellent and often HYSTERICAL prose, especially from Lucius, and I want to live in Stede's gay commune-house with the crew SO badly.

Our Flag Means Rock by @captain-athos - 22k, M - This one has really taken up residence in my brain! 1960s pirate radio AU, and the author really knows and cares about music history. Made me go listen to the Beach Boys!

This Could Be Love by @zombee - 16k, E - Ed is an ex-professional skier who meets Stede at a hotel conference... and fake dating AND only-one-bed ensue! I particularly love their take on DESPERATELY horny Ed

shorter AUs and whatnot

you'll marry a music man by @soft-october-night - 7k, T - "Poor man's Elton John" Stede covers one of Ed's songs! Soooo sweet and funny

in the margins by @weatheredlaw - 3k, T - Ed and Stede find each other over and over, in every life. This one is so healing, kind of ties the whole idea of reading AUs together, and is especially nice after watching Everything Everywhere All At Once

a small adventure by @sassygwaine - 4k, T - Dungeons and Dragons podcasting AU! Their exchange about tabaxis is probably going to stick in my head forever!!

Dealt a Soft Hand by @mintly - 12k, M - ACCIDENTAL DRUNKEN VEGAS WEDDING, and also Ed is a professional gambler. Funny and sweet

🌸 Washington Square Park Dog Run for Larger Dogs by @fortinbrasftw - 6k, T - Ed and Stede meet at the dog park, and later, Izzy and James Flint meet at the dog park. Hilarious, perfect characterization. I've never seen Black Sails and it did not impact my IMMENSE enjoyment of these fics at all.

that's all for now! got recommendations? reblog or reply! 💖

[yeetus-feetus]

mother: what do you mean you don't want kids?

Me: I said I don't want to birth kids.

Mum: why adopt when you've been given the gift of life bearing?

Me: first of all gross. Life bearing? Ew I feel queezy just thinking about something growing inside me that's 🤢. Second why not adopt? There's so so many kids that need loving parents and stable homes.

Mum: yeah but the gays can adopt them.

Me: ??? Are you forgetting I'm gay? I'm bi, mum.

Mum: no no, that's just a silly phase. Bisexual isn't real, you'll meet the right man one day and give me beautiful grandchildren.

Me: again. Gross. I don't want to birth your grandchildren. I already told you the thought of another being literally growing inside me makes my skin crawl. It makes me wanna throw up just thinking about it.

Mum: well I can't understand why. It's literally in your biology-

Me, walking away because this is going nowhere and I've already had this conversation with her 3 times this week:

Hey guys it's actually because I'm trans and I can't tell her that because she'll just gaslight me even harder. I would like biological kids but that's not option for me because I don't have a cock. Otherwise I'd probably already be dad.

Also I'm pretty sure my mum is only saying this to me because her mum forced her to have kids (boomer breeding kinks istg). But I'm not her therapist and I'm not going to unpack that for her. Plus she has an extremely homoerotic friendship with her bestie wich she's still in denial about because she knows she's not a lesbian but still strictly refuses to believe that bisexuality is a real thing.

But I am so tired of having this conversation with her. So so fucking tired. She should just hurry up and go kiss a woman and leave me the fuck alone istg. Like just because she's policing her own queerness doesn't me she should be projecting that onto me.

Also fuck my stupid grandma because all of this is ultimately her fault. Like why was she so obsessed with my mum having kids? Look what that caused, a handful of gay kids with severe daddy issues running around being autistic and depressed. And where is the father? Sticking his dick in anything he can breed.

Why do older people have breeding kinks?? That's actually an important question that I'm very curious about. And why is it so much more prominent in Christian households?? Like I thought sexy was unholy or something?

I'm gonna ask my grandma maybe. I won't get any answers, probably, but she'll definitely look mortified and start praying in tongues or something which will at least be entertaining.

(side note: if I had a dick I'd probably also have a breeding kink but we'll avoiding dissecting that unwelcome inheritance.)

[unlimitedgolden]

I have toontown headcanons to share so I'm going to just go for it + canon honorifics

PRONOUNS!!!!!!11!11 ROMANCE!!11 AHHHHH1!!!11

Deep Diver is a bigender baddie, she/he (Mr/Ms). Update: I think it'd be really funny if Deep Diver was bigender and bisexual. baby bi bi bi,,,

Gatekeeper she/her (Ms) and also the swaggiest butch lesbian you'll ever see

Firestarter he/they (Mr/Mx) otd. My brain says demiboy and I KNOW he is gay as hell

Featherbedder they/he/she (Mx/Mr/Ms), non-binary in some way, most likely genderfluid. I don't know enough about them right now so that's all I got

Major Player he/hymn (Mr) (this is straight up from the official server), and I honestly think he's pan with a preference to men (Buck Ruffler and their freaky fusion)

Chainsaw Consultant looking like a he/they (Mr) transman, I also think he's bi

Mouthpiece my grandma. She/her (Mrs) and I am a trans grandma truther. She is the elder transhet to me.

Rainmaker she/they (Ms/Mx) and CALL ME INSANE BUT I think they're transmasc and I love her ok. Also bi

Witch Hunter he/him (Mr) and I don't know enough about him yet except he seems like a miserable bloke and a hater

Duck Shuffler he/they/it (Mr) transmasc (projecting lowkey) and he is gay as hell as well idc

Treekiller he/him (Mr) and I don't know enough about him yet either SORRY

Plutocrat he/him (Don/Mr) he seems cishet but I also don't know enough about him either

Bellringer he/him (Mr). I think he's cis but experimenting with he/they. Bi, British, Bell.

Prethinker he/him (Mr) transman? Transmasc? Not sure but he's transgender. Also pan

Multislacker He/They but maybe she too (Mr/Mx) methinks genderfluid. Its the colourscheme I promise. Somewhere on the asexual spectrum to me. Romance? Maybe, maybe not. Not sure.

Pacesetter he/him (Mr) + transman swagger with the gay gay boyfriend on top

RELATIONSHIPS + FAMILY WOOOAHHHH

Prefacing this with the warning of multishipping for funsies and I am a believer of polycules argue with the wall

Deep Diver according to cogs.ink hates Gatekeeper and Treekiller which is so funny to me because I think Deep Diver and Gatekeeper would be cute together

Deep Diver/Gatekeeper with Rainmaker is also so fire. Polycule them NOW

Firestarter and Pacesetter canon boyfriends

Also that one headcanon of Firestarter and Rainmaker being siblings is so cute I'm adopting it

Major Player fused with Duck Shuffler that one time and even though its not a canon event they're really good together. Love wins in every universe

Chainsaw Consultant with Duck Shuffler (thanks Sludge) kissy mwah mwah

Chainsaw Consultant and Rainmaker t4t swagger btw

Rainmaker already mentioned all above but yeah she should get soooo much love. Love wins. Multishipping wins. Polycules win.

Duck Shuffler has two hands to hold one for Major Player and one for Chainsaw Consultant. Polycules babeeey!!! And then I'm on his leg like a diseased animal.

Treekiller and Chainsaw Consultant brothers for realsies

Sometimes I think about that animatic with Plutocrat being interested in Mouthpiece with the spongebob audio. Yknow the one by cogmics. Lives in my head

Bellringer and Prethinker kissing. Idk where it came from but I think they're cute too

Also whoever came up with Pacesetter and Multislacker having a sibling like bond os brilliant. Adopted that hc now too.

Other STUPID HCS before I forget

RUNNING IN TO EDIT THIS BEFORE I FORGET. DUCK SHUFFLER AUTISM ADHD COMBO

CHAINSAW CONSULTANT AUTISM HC REAL TOO

I was talking to my sister about this one but I think it'd be funny if cogs reproduced by just building their offspring like in the Robots movie.

Building my son from scrap parts I found

And again in convo with my sister it'd be funny if toons reproduced by just drawing their children since they're literally cartoons

She said if you look ugly as a toon sorry your parents were just bad at art LMFAO

Furthermore this was to build our own lore on why our toons are siblings but different species and since we agree our dad would be a cog (which I did design) that he must've drawn our toons

Mfw we are our fathers oc

OK I think that's everything for now. I'm immediately sending this to everyone I know for approval

[onegianthotmess]

Amelia’s Ikemen Vampire Contact List

The contact names and group chats I would have for these chaos men.

Napoleon Bonaparte - Panty Sniffer👀☹️

Either this name or “Trashy Fanfic Author✍️💕” would be my contact name for him

IRL Napoleon wrote a self insert love novel, so I’m saying Ikemen!Napoleon did that

It would probably switch between those two, if I’m being honest

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart - Fucking Germaphobe✋🙄

Pretty self-explanatory

I’d make fun of him for it and he’d probably yell at me for sneezing and coughing around him-

SORRY I CAN’T CONTROL WHEN I SNEEZE, YOU CLEAN WHORE-

Leonardo da Vinci - The Bisexual Cat Man💗💜💙🐈‍⬛

One, this man sleeps like a fucking cat

Whenever and where ever he wants

Two, you can’t tell me Leo and Comte haven’t at least had one maybe maybe not drunk night of sex together

Also, it’s a historical fact that Leonardo da Vinci, in real life, was most likely gay

But I’m saying Ikemen!Leo is definitely bisexual

His sex drive doesn’t discriminate-

And there I go rambling again, this isn’t my headcanons on what these sexuality of these weirdos is, it’s what their contact names would be in my phone-

Arthur Canon Doyle - Attention Slut Writer💃✍️

He doesn’t charge for attention, he gets it for free-

Also we’d probably just end up sending each other weird memes that we find while we’re up and on the internet at, like, one in the morning

Vincent van Gogh - Bubba😇🎨💛

As I’ve stated before, the van Gogh brothers have unofficially adopted me, so I’m their baby sister now

And I’m pretty sure people would ask if I’m actually related to them since me and Vincent both have the baby face curse-

Theodorus van Gogh - Bubba🖕🥞💙

Again, unofficially adopted older brother

Except we’re assholes to each other because that’s how we show our love to each other

Even though the bitch calls me a damn hondje-

I’m using salt instead of sugar in his pancakes for a month-

Dazai Osamu - Window 🪟

Seriously that’s all I got

He just climbs in through the windows to get into rooms, even my room

He’s a weirdo, but so am I, so I can’t really judge him-

Isaac Newton - Apple Pie 🍎🥧❤️

I’m his mom friend, I’m allowed to tease him

Also it was either this or “Fucking Nerd 🤓” and I didn’t want to be that mean

Also I’m the only one allowed to make apple pie for him because I don’t make fun of him for it outside of one tiny comment-

William Shakespeare - Wilhelm Shookspear🎭📝🍐

Tbh, I’d mispronounce his name just to piss him off

And then I invite him over to piss off Theo so that Will won’t be mad at me because I find him at least decent

Also, he’s Vincent’s bestie, why would I keep my unofficially adopted big brother away from his bestie he’s probably kissed while drunk once or twice

Le Comte de Saint-Germain - Mommy Comte🥰🥰

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, Comte is the mother of the mansion and Leonardo is the chill as fuck dad

Also, the residents are his children

It’s literally canon that he unofficially adopted them

Sebastian/Akihiko Satou - Husband 🥰

Self-explanatory

I could’ve been mean, but I love him too much and he’d revoke my affection privileges for a week and replace them with twice as many forehead flicks

Meanie bobeanie

But I love him-

Vlad - Strawberry Shortcake🍰💐🥀

It was either this name or “Dusty Old Man😐”

And he’s pretty as fuck, so that name didn’t really fit in my opinion-

I give him free strawberry desserts, he gives me free flowers to decorate the mansion with

It’s a win-win, really

Johann Georg Faust - Pyromania💥💥💥

Tbh, I’d make fun of him for his death all the fucking time

Mutual agreement that we insult each other and try to kill each other half the time and the other half we civilly interact with a sprinkle of petty insults

It’s fun!

Charles-Henri Sanson - Baby Blues💙💙

He has pretty eyes, what do you want from me?

Also he’s a babie, he needs love!

I’m borderline adopting most of these idiots at this point but I don’t care-

THEY’RE TRAUMATIZED AND ADORABLE!!

ESPECIALLY CHARLES

[beanghostprincess]

HiyorixKuina anon again!

I was thinking about Kuina more than average and I came up with this concuction.

So you often see that in many Modern AUs you have Perona and Zoro being Mihawk's adoptive children, and while I like this what if Kuina 2as also his adoptive daughter???

Imagine, you have Zoro being an orphan from a young age so he gets taken in by his relatives. But then something horrible happens (could be Kuina's mom dying or Koushiro kills her since everybody seems to agree he is murder coded) so Kuina and Zoro are taken away by CPS and are assigned to Mihawk, who had already adopted Perona. (I hc that Moria would be her bio dad, and he lost custidy due to his experiments on corpses and other stuff)

What we get is a sit-com like dinamic of middle aged single parent swordsman with 3 kids: one is goth, one is insane, one is bith and they are all gay.

I think that Kuina would really like Mihawk since he would teach her and not discriminate (as far as we know) and he would also reconize that Kuina is a better pupil than Zoro, which would add another layer to their rivarly and relationship.

Plus Perona and Kuina being vastly different older sister who are the two opposing extemes on the lesbian spectrum but still come togheter for each other when they need it and to annoy their dumb little brother would be so funny to me. I think Kuina would protect Perona from bullies and general pricks and they would both do wierd shit togheter like mutilate their Barbies to scare people.

I think Kuina would really get along with Zoro's friends siblings, obviously Ace and maybe also Sabo since they both reject the bigoted values that some people impose, but I think she would like Nojiko as well. The two of them both know the horrors of the real world so I think they would use some of the darkest humor ever with each other. And all of them would obviously keep talking about their siblings, that can't be avoided.

I also think Kuina might be Sanji's rival too. After all he treats women vastly different from men (even if its with benevolent intentions) and Kuina woukd interprete thus as Sanji thinking women are weak. So its Zoro and Kuina coming togheter against their shared rival: swirly eyebrowed dumb cook. But ironically Kuina would be fond of the dumb cook's boyfriend, after all Usopp is also a very underrated genious who defyes people's expectation to prove himself as strong and worthy.

Bonus headcanon: Yamace and Hiyoku double dates. Wlw and mlm solidariety at its finest.

HEY BESTIE!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAA I love all of this. It's awesome. I just know Kuina and Perona would be complete opposites but would love and protect each other a lot. Like, they're weird in their own ways. People don't like Perona because she's all dark and creepy and with a very princess-like personality and people don't like Kuina much because she doesn't fall in the standard men have for women and swordsmen. So they fit together perfectly even though they're different. And they'd take care of Zoro and also make fun of him 24/7. This is great. Also, Mihawk be adopting children every fucking where. I don't know if I should be sorry for him or not. At least his family is cool. Perona is his princess <3 Kuina is his fav pupil!! And Zoro is Zoro. He's just Zoro.

This is basically the situation:

(He does care btw, he's just shitty when it comes to feelings and Zoro isn't as cute as his girls)

And yes, Kuina would definitely not stand Sanji but love Usopp. I agree completely. Their views don't match at all but well, Sanji can live with it (he can't. He's crying).

AND YAMACE AND HIYOKU DOUBLE DATES!!!!!!!! CUTE!!!!!!!!! It'd be a bit chaotic, honestly. Both couples have such a different energy 😭😭 Ace might seem a bit more relaxed but the second Yamato goes insane about something, he probably does too if he likes it. So I can definitely imagine Kuina like "I wanted this to be an actual date,, I am sorry, I should've thought about this better-" and Hiyori would just laugh softly at Yamace's shenanigans because she's having the time of her life.

[cas-coding]

ughhhh i want to write a dean seeing lisa like fifteen years later bc jack and ben go to the same college and YES lisa remembers dean because hello she had photos of him and he met her family :|. anyway lisa screams at dean first and is so mad at him and hes so so so sad babygirl and is like im so sorry lisa. i am so so so sorry. i can't tell you why. i cant make you understand. but come over to my place for dinner and maybe jack and ben can be friends???

and then cas answers the door and lisa's like oh i didnt know dean was having a bunch of other friends over too hi how are you who are you? and cas is like oh! no it's just family, im deans husband :) and lisa is like okayyyy i misread this shit. dont remember why he broke up with me but its bc he was gay. good to know. and lisa makes it through the whole dinner without asking and then finally when dean refers to jack as 'his and cas' kid' she fucking explodes and shes like okay i get it ben's not your blood so he's not good enough for you but this kid isn't your blood either and suddenly he deserves a father figure?

dean is like. im sorry lisa. i didn't think you remembered me. i didnt want to cause you pain. and lisa is just going off on this man bc lets be so real he does deserve it a little bit. but shes just telling him how much ben could have used a father in life and cas is the one who is like dean is not obligated to do that! and lisa gets quiet and says softly, 'i know. i think we both wanted him to be, though. so its hard seeing him have that with someone else.' and they all get quiet and dean says it wasn't lisa's fault at all. he loved her. he was just scared then. and as much as he wants them to work he knows they won't. because he was really really scared of hurting lisa whereas cas makes him brave. and he knows thats cliche and hes sorry and ben can still be his son. if ben needs a dad dean can be that for him. he can teach him how to change the oil in his car and play ball and hes sorry.

thats the story of how dean ends up adopting a bunch of fatherless kids from jack's college and they come over once a month to do fatherly activities with their dads dean cas and sam who all kind of swap out the dad duties. bc theres so many of these kids.

this is not where i thought this was going but hey i dont control the muse

[menacingdino]

Weirdest greatest phone call

Inspired by this post !

chap one — [ao3]

Steve living with El was.. Weird.

He’d assimilated some but her moving things around in her sleep with her mind was still a fresh feeling. And the three AM Eggo trips. He heard the toaster and knew it was his moment to be a big brother and give her emotional support.

Oh yeah, they’re kind of siblings. Steve got kicked out for his “sinful acts” (being gay). Then Hopper found him on his doorstop one day.

“Hey, um, I’m sorry but.. Can I stay for the night? I got no where to go.” He mumbled and stuttered in the rainy night. And soon that night became seven nights. To three weeks. To many months. To a fucking year with the sheriff and his quiet daughter. Which ended with Hopper going to court to legally adopt Steve. And fuck, his parents agreeing did hurt. But now he has a real dad. And a real sibling.

So a lot changed. The only consistency being his best friend Robin and his family video job.

Which was now being interrupted by a call.

“Hello, family video.”

“Hey, Steve.” His dads voice surprises him.

“Hopper? Are you okay? Aren’t you working?”

“Yeah, yeah all is good but listen,” Steve sighs, “I’ve got a 17 year old in the back of my car right now and he’s your type.” Absolute silence.

“What?”

“Yeah I showed him your picture and he thinks you’re cute, I also gave him your number.” All of Steve’s blood rushes to his face. Good God why is his dad like this.

“Dad!! Stop giving my number to random guys!”

“This is the weirdest greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.” The kid said loud enough for Hopper to hear but not Steve.

“C’mon he’s nice; for a criminal.” He mumbles that last part. “I’ll pay for you guys to go get McDonald’s or something.” Steve can see Hoppers face right now, brows furrowed with that ‘I’m your dad I know best’ look.

“McDonalds is.. A horrible date idea.” Steve chuckles. “But— Whatever I’m working and so are you. Bye.”

“Alright alright. Bye, love ya.” Steve says it back still having to get used to the affection. He hangs up before pinching his nose. At least he’s accepting?

“What?” Robin peered over Steve’s shoulder.

“My dad set me up with another criminal in his car.” He shakes his head as Robin cackles.

“Dude, you are lucky!” She pushes his shoulder, “accepting dad reeling in the bad boys.” She wags her eyebrows.

——

So it seems like Steve has a date. He tells himself he doesn’t care, he’s not going; but he’s still fixing his hair and wondering about wether or not his outfit is good enough.

“I’m home!” Hopper yells and Steve can hear El run over. But Steve’s still too busy frowning at himself in the mirror.

“C’mon, kid, you gotta get goin I told him you’d be there at 6.” Hopper reminds him leaning on the doorframe. Steve just groans and drags himself to the car.

“You have fun now! Be safe! Wrap it up!” Hopper yells out the door making Steve hit his head so hard against the steering wheel in embarrassment it honks.

——

Steve fidgets with his jacket at the Olive Garden table waiting for this mystery boy to show up. And then he shows up and God, his dad was right. This boy is his type.

He can’t even get himself to say hi back because he’s too busy staring.

“Um.. Hello?” The guy waves his hand in front of Steve’s face.

“Oh! Hi.” Steve finally snaps back to reality. “Um, I’m Steve.”

“Hey, I’m Eddie.” The guy— Eddie, gives Steve this kinda dorky grin. Steve’s gonna have a heart attack in the middle of this Olive Garden.

And fuck he has no clue what to say. But Eddie beats him to it.

“You’re probably wondering what I did.” Eddie says what Steve wasn’t gonna dare to. He shrugs. “I was just selling some weed.” He half way whispers. “Promise I’m not dangerous or anything.” Steve giggles a little.

“Well that’s good. I mean I didn’t think my dad would do all.. That if you were like charged with assault or something.” Oh my god Steve why would you bring up your dad.

“No, yeah, he seems cool by the way— For a cop.” Politics on the first date, very cool Ed. “Never had a cop set me up on a date with their handsome son.” He leans forward a little. And Steve is blushing, he’s never felt so easily flustered with anyone else.

“Well this may be his best pick so far.” Steve says.

“Oh so I’ve got competition?” Eddie tilts his head.

“Barely.” They are far too close now in public; but all Steve can think about is the big brown eyes that are in front of him. Eddie just hums and Steve can swear he sees his eyes drops to Steve’s lips.

The waiter comes with water and the two practically jump back getting a very suspicious look from her.

“…. Water?”

“Yes please.” Eddie says looking everywhere but the people near him. “I’m fucking parched.” He says the last part under his breath.

——

“Thanks for the dinner, Steve.” He hadn’t noticed until now that they were standing outside the restaurant Eddie was quite shorter. Looking up at Steve through dark curly eyelashes; he’s pretty like a girl.

“Yeah I enjoyed it.” Steve’s grin is giddy and almost innocent. They share kind looks in comfortable silence before moving to their respective cars.

——

“So?” Hopper grins into his coffee cup; much too late for coffee.

“It was good..” Steve can feel the blush on his face and he just sneaks into his room before he can endure further questioning. Screaming into his pillow and kicking legs.

“It was good..” Steve can feel the blush on his face and he just sneaks into his room before he can endure further questioning. Screaming into his pillow and kicking legs.

“It was good..” Steve can feel the blush on his face and he just sneaks into his room before he can endure further questioning. Screaming into his pillow and kicking legs.

“It was good..” Steve can feel the blush on his face and he just sneaks into his room before he can endure further questioning. Screaming into his pillow and kicking legs.

——

“So?” Hopper grins into his coffee cup; much too late for coffee.

“It was good..” Steve can feel the blush on his face and he just sneaks into his room before he can endure further questioning. Screaming into his pillow and kicking legs.

[kookie-doughs]

Happy Meal

Hawks / Keigo Takami X Reader

-As a young mother YN didn't know what to do when the number 2 hero had taken the last happy meal that her son so desperately want.

Chapter 22: Family

"Kei," You pull him to the bed you share with a smile. "Thank you."

He gives you a kiss. "For what exactly I think I need you to stroke my ego."

You giggled, "Well thank you for being here for me and Sato. Thank you for letting me stay with Tenko. Thank you for giving everyone a chance."

He looks at you so tenderly, his stare making your heart skip.

"YN, I love you. Anything you want, I'll do it. And Tomura, he wasn't a lost cost. All Might saw hope, and who else would be better to change him than Sato and you. Not to mention after what he did for Sato."

"Youre letting him stay with us. That means so much to the three of us."

"He's your family." He kissed your forehead. "Despite him thinking otherwise all those years ago, I know you think of him as family. That's why you couldn't leave him that time."

"He never saw me romantically honestly. It was just attachment. No one else was there for him aside from me."

"Well he's still attached, but at least not the 'I'm going to keep you chained to me' type of attachment anymore."

"Yeah I think I like the lost dog attachment more than that."

"How are you okay after he kidnapped you though? You're not upset, you're not feeling anything."

"I was never scared of him. I trusted him. Not to mention it was my fault for leaving him that time. I could've taken him with me. I'm glad, he turned a new leaf."

"Fatherhood does that. Hell, I'm not Sato's real dad and I'm changing."

"You are his dad. You and Tenko."

"Dabi is our dog."

"You are so mean!" You laughed.

He pulls you to his chest chuckling, "They're not bad. They make it fun. It's like... we have 2 other kids."

"I wonder what's going to happen if Tenko gets a girlfriend." You giggled at the thought.

"Oh yeah I live with my ex girlfriend, who i kidnapped, her husband, who almost killed me, and our son. You wanna know what happened? Well I was a mass murderer and killed even as a kid you know just this and that. Then my ex, I got obsessed with her but she was my stepsister so it wasn't a good idea."

"That's so stupid! Why am I his stepsister?!"

"You practically were! Your dad adopted him so, siblings but not by blood. Stepsister."

"Why are you my husband?"

He smirks and pulls you closer, "Because I am. I'm going to marry you. Someday."

"You forgot to add Dabi in the story."

"Ooh, what if Dabi ends up being his partner!!"

"No."

"You're so boring."

"I'd rather not think about those two being intimate."

"Tomura is only going to love Sato. No one else. I can feel it. He's going to be our basement dweller."

"Dabi is gonna be a ladies man. Give people time to adjust, make them forget he was a villain, he'd be popular."

"Sato is gonna be the greatest hero. Imagine having so many quirks. Everyone is gonna be jealous of him."

"Are you not going back to being a hero?"

"I think I'd rather focus on family. I'm done being a hero. Been a hero since i was a kid, early retirement isnt bad."

"Who's part of that family..."

"You, Sato, Tomura, maybe another kid. Occasionally Dabi too."

You smile at him. "Tomura is family?"

"He is to you, and since we're getting married your family will be my family."

"I can't wait for our family."

Your lips met in a kiss that spoke of everything left unsaid, a celebration of your shared journey, and a promise of an everlasting connection.

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AFTER SO LONG I FINALLY FINISHED IT! IM SORRY IF THE ENDING WASN'T GOOD BUT I COULDN'T REMEMBER THE ENDING I FIRST HAD IN MIND

But I'm so glad I got this over with😭 Im sorry it took so long

I hope the time it took to write this doesn't discourage you when I write my other stories🥲 thank you for your support I hope you continue to do so hehe

lov ya guyssss

-kookiedoughs

Taglist?

@gayer-than-the-gayest-gay @faithneko @officiallykuute @pinksilk @applepie-macaroon @lolawassad @grinnwolph @nykie-love-anime