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#i Did Too Much yesterday and the day before at work
prapaiwife · 2 days
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Pavel's long message on Twitter for his award yesterday! It's worth the read he's so grateful for everything, and everyone is just so happy for him🥺
Today, boy naret prompaopun has done it successfully na my cat army. i never thought, not even a single bit, that i'd get this popular series actor award 🥹 and in addition pitbabe also got series of the year in the same day 😭 all the tiredness from everything we've done is gone now... ytd when i went to the event, i didn't think i'd get the award, tbh i did prepare a speech for the pitbabe award just in case, but my individual award? i really didn't prepare. i've been seeing you all inviting each other to vote all this while, and i've been seeing the numbers every day ... and every candidate was so superb 😨 and the night before the event i saw, and i thought i'd probably not get it already... so i didn't prepare but all of you surprised me alot, the staff told me after that the votes dropped alot :( i can tell you that i was shocked when the mc said my name into the mic .. at that time, there were a lot of emotions in my head, i was happy, excited, proud of all of you, and scared about what to say... Thus, i want to type it out now bc i won't be able to finish saying all of this...
i want to say that i love you alot pavel's kittens, all of you changed me alot, gave me the courage to do things and believe in myself and gave me the courage to love.... i want to thank you all for having my back from the start, some of you even before pitbabe staying with me for over 5 years .... no matter how long has passed, all of you are my top priority in life. very soon it'll be 1st anniversary of pitbabe the series, i wanna tell you all that i'm very happy and i try my best to make everyone happy. i want us to love each other and in times where we have problems arise that make us uncomfortable, i want us to love each other for a long time na. sometimes people will say that i don't care or something like that... but please dont think that way, i love everyone very much and i want to give happiness to everyone ❤️ no matter if you come to find me at events or support me from home, sometimes i can't do everything for everyone cuz there's too many people :( i want everyone to know that i love you na ❤️ all of you probably know right? that i do my best to produce good work for you all, non-stop and without backing out, i'll do it well whilst being happy and not stressed na ❤️ love you na please stay together like this for a long time na i'll be your strong meow dad and sulky mu na my cat army. no matter what the future will be like, i'll focus on doing my best in the present and i won't make my cat army disappointed na ❤️
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Like I have said before,
Live,
Develops,
Enjoy.
PitBabe has ended, but the legacy stays.
But the new legacy will be born, soon.
Stay with me till you can. I’ll continue enjoying my life with you all.
Mumma, I fcking made it.
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Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad Activity Report
Part 3
5/16 (Sat) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba
Uh, this is Takeba.
Actually, Tartarus is closed today, and Kirijo-senpai told me, "School take priority over SEES activities!", but it's tough to stay holed up in my room all day, so I snuck out. That being said, I don't really have anything to report.
Oh, I'm lying, there was one thing. Well, Sanada-senpai is a little scary. Haha. Apparently the doctor told him yesterday that he'll be okay to start boxing in about a week, and he's really happy about that.
Of course, since it's before the exams, he seems to be studying properly in his room, but when I went out to the stairwell, I saw him running up the stairs at a great pace. I was surprised and talked to him, and he said that he had been taking a break and couldn't stay still. Do you even know what a break means? But I'm glad he's doing well. Yes.
Well, I don't want to relax too much, so I'll get back to studying. This is Takeba.
5/17 (Sun) - Reporter: Junpei Iori
Well... Good evening, I'm Junpei Iori. I don't really have anything to report, but Kirijo-senpai told me to hold the microphone. I guess she told me to calm down and complain or whatever because my cries from the heart are getting in the way of the wonderful training... but somehow, haven't I lost sight of my original purpose for this activity report?
…Oh, that's right, there's something to report.
No, I don't want to sit at my desk any more this afternoon.
I don't want that to happen! I'm stuck with that feeling.
Wait, I went to Paulownian Mall to change my mood.
Then, I felt some strange tension.
A self-proclaimed "reporter" told me about some strange things happening recently.
She asked me if I had information.
When she said something like "I'll be rewarded if you give me any information," I was tempted for a moment, but then I thought, aren't we just heroes of justice who work in secret? Of course, I said "I don't know," and rejected her. Then the reporter just said, "Oh, okay," and walked away... It's a bit complicated...
5/18 (Mon) - Reporter: Akihiko Sanada
Well, the exam finally starts today. There's no point in rushing now. I'll just do my best.
However... I know this may be unnecessary, and it may not be the right topic to talk about at a time like this, but I am really concerned about the injury that happened to our physical education teacher, Mr. Aoyama. From what I heard, he had been drinking after work and was on his way home in a good mood when, an accident was caused by a falling sign, but the accident happened just as the day changed... around the Dark Hour.
Well, shadows wouldn't have to resort to such a roundabout means to drop a sign and injure someone. It's probably just paranoia born from the frustration of not being able to return. Forget it.
5/25 (Mon) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo
It's Kirijo. The results of the midterm exams were announced today. Akihiko was amazing! Excellent!
He had a hard time returning to the fight, and he seemed to be quite anxious before the exams, so I was worried he might lose his concentration, but he did a great job.
I told him that, but he turned his back on me, saying that he had to do it because it would set an example for his juniors. He's really not honest...
I'm a bit worried about the others. The leader seems to have been doing his best, but Takeba seems to have been staying in her room every day.
It seems she ended up with average results, and Junpei was... unbelievable.
As expected, they must be tired from going to Tartarus and defeating large shadows one after another. Although they look energetic, we need their help, but we can't let our activities affect their studies... We should be a little careful.
5/26 (Tue) - Reporter: Akihiko Sanada
Seriously... if you're going to make that much of a fuss then you should have just studied properly from the beginning.
Ah, sorry. Just when I came out of my room, I heard some voices coming from Junpei's room saying things like "Pathetic" and "What am I doing?", just pathetic and wondering what he was doing. Well, I guess it's understandable with those terrible test results.
Mitsuru was also quite upset about the grades of her juniors, but this was something that couldn't be helped unless everyone put in an effort. After hearing that shout, Junpei would probably think things through properly next time. Probably.
Plus, we happen to be living in the same dorm.
If push comes to shove, no matter how much he doesn't want to do it, I'll just force my way into his room and make him do some pre-exam practice.
Intensive training...that's a good word. I'm looking forward to the final exams.
By the way, we are still investigating Yamagishi. Let's hope she will become a valuable addition to our team.
5/27 (Wed) - Reporter: Junpei Iori
O-ki-na-wa!
…Oh, no, they were talking about Okinawa's beach opening on the evening news, so I just did it.
I was talking about that, so I just did it.
So, it's Junpei! The sea is really nice. My exams are over, and I want to have some fun, but I don't have any money or time... Ugh, I'm not going to be able to go to the sea for the rest of my life.
I feel like I say this every summer...ugh.
But the sea is nice. Blue sky! Black bikini! White sand! Red bikini! I want to go and play. Oh, by the way, what happened to the new girl? Does she like the sea?
5/28 (Thu) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo
It's Kirijo. As always, Iori's report seems... stupid.
Well, from the beginning, I started these reports as just a memo for myself, and I don't have any strict reporting obligations. I'm just going to blurt out what I want to say, and if that makes me feel better, then that's fine.
It's good to use even if you're in the middle of nowhere.
Oh, speaking of Iori, I overheard him talking to Takeba in the lounge today, and it seemed like he was worried about his poor grades. It's easy to tell them to study, but I'll think about what I can do to help them more.
However... I noticed while Iori spoke that Magician's Arcana should have high magical power, so why does Iori's Hermes have such low magical power... Maybe next time, I'll get permission from him and study the correlation between abilities and Persona parameters? It's hard to find samples like that...
5/29 (Fri) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba
Uh, this is Takeba.
The exams are finally over, and there's some good news that we might even be hiring a new female member, so I should be in a good mood, but I'm in a bit of a bad mood today.
I overheard an unpleasant conversation in the school corridor...it was bullying.
I don't know who they were, but the two girls who seemed to be the bullies were talking about how they'd found out someone's weakness and how funny her crying face was, and stuff like that... and they were laughing out loud. Well, it wasn't an unusual story, so I just thought, "They must be bored," but... I ended up feeling annoyed afterwards.
Right now I have the power to call a Persona, right? Regardless of the type of power, the power is there to accomplish something, right? But even seeing that bullying scene and not being able to do anything...it's pathetic.
Sorry for complaining again. This was Takeba!
5/30 (Sat) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba
Well, it's Takeba for the second day in a row.
I was wondering what to do, but Kirijo-senpai asked me to keep a record of the matter, so I will continue on.
I don't know if it's related to the bullying issue I reported yesterday, but I found one of the girls I'd heard talking yesterday infront of the school gates this morning.
Yesterday, she was saying things like she was hearing voices and things that sounded like radio waves, so I thought something was a little strange...
However, I don't know the details. I hope it was a coincidence. This was Takeba.
6/8 (Mon) - Reporter: Junpei Iori
I'm seriously dead today... Oh, crap, report, report. Huh...? No, you see, when you get lost in the Dark Hour, your memories are somehow erased, that's common knowledge for Persona Users, right?
Well, it's a bit late now though.
Ugh, sorry. I'm so tired and just want to go to sleep.
Umm, can I just post them all together?
A girl named Fuuka Yamagishi was locked in the gym because of bullying, and ended up wandering into Tartarus. The reason she was safe after being lost for a week was because, while time here stops during the Dark Hour, time there also stops outside of the Dark Hour... or so I think.
When examining the clock on the bike/backup equipment that Kirijo-senpai brought to Tartarus, it seems that you can tell the difference in the movement of time inside and outside... or so it seems. Hmm, it's complicated and I don't really get it.
So, we sneaked into the school in the middle of the night, took the same route as Yamagishi and entered Tartarus, and a large Shadow appeared, but we defeated it with our efforts, um... was there anything else? Ah, that's right. Yamagishi's Persona was amazing. It seemed to have a radar-like function, and can see all the enemy's weaknesses!
Oh, by the way, Kirijo-senpai has an unexpected lack of humor. If I said she was cute, I'd probably get punched. Well, I thought she was hard to get along with, so I've changed my opinion of her a little. Oh, I forgot something important! The large Shadows appear on the full moon! A customer who comes once a month! This is important information!
6/9 (Tue) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba
Well, it's Takeba. Today, Kirijo-senpai and Sanada-senpai are away visiting Yamagishi-san and their friend Moriyama-san. So, Tartarus is on a break. I'm still tired from fighting a large Shadow, so I'm not in the mood for Tartarus anyway. Oh, did I mention I was watching over Yamagishi-san? But it's not like I'm being selfish or anything.
On the contrary, she was extremely effective in the battle against the large Shadow, and it feels like she might be the strongest. Now she's collapsed from exhaustion because she used all her powers at once, so she's been hospitalized just to be safe.
If I had that kind of power, I guess I would join in... but this time she learned that SEES' missions are life-threatening. It would be great if she would join, but I don't want to force her. Ah, but the leader was quite welcoming and pulled her in...
Ugh, I'm thinking about a lot of things. Anyway, I'm really glad that Yamagishi-san is safe and that we were able to defeat the Shadow. This was Takeba.
6/10 (Wed) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo
It's Kirijo. Seriously, if I had taken my eyes off Iori for just a second, he'd have been a complete flop... What a poke. I admit that I do lack common sense in some areas, but... Oh well.
Well, today after I returned from visiting Yamagishi and Moriyama, I did some light sword training.
With Yamagishi joining the team, I will likely be on the front lines as well, so this is training for that.
The fencing club was on a break due to the midterm exams, and I didn't go to club activities as often as I thought because of my Student Council activities. It seems my skills have deteriorated more than I thought. I'm trying to be a little better so as not to be a burden to the hard-working second-year students.
I need to train hard.
Not only the leader and Yamagishi have shown remarkable abilities, but Iori and Takeba also have something special, even though they are still developing. As one of the original members of SEES... I can't lose. Maybe I should follow Akihiko's example and try that "special training" thing once in a while?
6/11 (Thu) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba
Ah, it's Takeba.
Good news... Yamagishi-san has been accepted into SEES. Kirijo-senpai's invitation seemed a bit pushy, and I was a bit worried she wouldn't accept, but she seemed keen...
For now, Junpei is simply happy. He's a really enviable guy. This was Takeba.
6/12 (Fri) - Reporter: Junpei Iori
Hi, Junpei here! Today is truly a joyous and memorable day! Ahem... congratulations to our newest member, Miss Fuuka Yamagishi, on moving into the Iwatodai dormitory! Hip, hip, hooray! Yay! Cheers to our new friend, Fuuka!
Gulp gulp gulp... Phew! Oh, it's not alcohol. It's just Yotsuya sake.
Well, today Fuuka moved into the dorm, and I'm always excited to meet new people. Hehehe, it's good to have more members.
Yukari-chan seems a bit indecisive, but since they're both women, they'll quickly become friends. I heard that she was scheduled to move into the dormitory tomorrow, but it seems like she couldn't wait. Yeah, that's not bad!
Ah, speaking of Fuuka... It seems like her homeroom teacher, Ekoda, has been punished for this incident, but I guess this was the work of the seniors... Well, even us students were getting annoyed with his nasty remarks, so it was like, "Serves him right!" When I asked Senpai the truth, she grinned and said, "Do you want to know, Iori?" No, that smile was probably many times scarier than when Senpai was angry. Ugh, so scary! I have to make sure I don't say anything unnecessary.
6/24 (Wed) - Reporter: Junpei Iori
Hi, it's Junpei.
Hehe... Ukukuku... well, Kirijo-senpai's report yesterday was about how worried she was about us and it made me really happy, but... there was one thing that really hit the spot.
Umm, the part at the top that says "Takeba, Yamagishi, and Iori should talk to each other"...oh, the leader has been forgotten.
Hey! Ahahahaha!
Oh man, sorry sorry, that was a bit too funny. Well, as Sanada-san said today, I get the impression that he doesn't worry too much and just gets on with things calmly, right? Sanada-san said he doesn't envy him, but honestly, I do.
No, you see, I'm at an age where I have a lot of worries, right? Bad grades at school, worries about not being able to get a girlfriend, I'm on the verge of going bald from all the worries... but I should point out that I'm not actually bald, I just have street fashion.
...
Now, back to serious matters... I appreciate your concern, Kirijo-senpai. Thank you. But at least I am okay. That doesn't mean I don't have any worries... I have to figure them out and solve them myself.
More importantly, are you okay, Sanada-senpai?
Today you seemed worried in front of the boxing club room. You've been working hard ever since you came back, so maybe you're tired?
I may not be able to be of much help to you, but if there's anything I can help you with, please let me know.
6/26 (Fri) - Reporter: Fuuka Yamagishi
Good evening, this is Yamagishi.
I feel like I've gotten used to these activity reports. But when I listen to the records from the past, I think they feel more like a communication notebook than an activity report. Hehe.
But I think it's good. This way, we can communicate our feelings and understand each other.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that were the case?
Until recently, I was always thinking about how my words were not being understood by the people around me. But it's not like that here. Everyone, is considerate of each other. Even today, the Chairman of the board of directors came all the way out of his way to come... Well, there is a limit to what you can say, though. Phew...
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ninadove · 8 hours
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Nina reads Dracula 🦇
September 24th
I hadn't the heart to write last night; that terrible record of Jonathan's upset me so. Poor dear! How he must have suffered, whether it be true or only imagination. I wonder if there is any truth in it at all. Did he get his brain fever, and then write all those terrible things, or had he some cause for it all? I suppose I shall never know, for I dare not open the subject to him.... And yet that man we saw yesterday! He seemed quite certain of him.... Poor fellow! I suppose it was the funeral upset him and sent his mind back on some train of thought.... He believes it all himself. I remember how on our wedding-day he said: "Unless some solemn duty come upon me to go back to the bitter hours, asleep or awake, mad or sane." There seems to be through it all some thread of continuity.... That fearful Count was coming to London.... If it should be, and he came to London, with his teeming millions.... There may be a solemn duty; and if it come we must not shrink from it.... I shall be prepared. I shall get my typewriter this very hour and begin transcribing. Then we shall be ready for other eyes if required. And if it be wanted; then, perhaps, if I am ready, poor Jonathan may not be upset, for I can speak for him and never let him be troubled or worried with it at all. If ever Jonathan quite gets over the nervousness he may want to tell me of it all, and I can ask him questions and find out things, and see how I may comfort him.
Can we talk about how cool Mina is for a second? Her first reaction upon finding out is disbelief, of course, but she turns around so quickly so she can A. support Jonathan and B. potentially save the world. She knows her skills are valuable and she immediately puts them to good use. It’s not hard to see why Jonathan fell in love with her!
It also means that everything we’ve been reading so far is courtesy of her work, by the way. Which immediately prompts two thoughts:
She apparently wasn’t jealous at all upon reading the Three Weed-Smoking Girlfriends bit Jonathan was so worried about, otherwise she would have edited it out;
She had to transcribe Lucy’s journal and her own letters… She had to add the “unopened by her” mention herself…
Everybody say thank you Mina!
And now for the bit where I genuinely shed a tear:
I pray you to pardon my writing, in that I am so far friend as that I sent to you sad news of Miss Lucy Westenra's death. By the kindness of Lord Godalming, I am empowered to read her letters and papers, for I am deeply concerned about certain matters vitally important. In them I find some letters from you, which show how great friends you were and how you love her. Oh, Madam Mina, by that love, I implore you, help me. It is for others' good that I ask—to redress great wrong, and to lift much and terrible troubles—that may be more great than you can know. May it be that I see you? You can trust me. I am friend of Dr. John Seward and of Lord Godalming (that was Arthur of Miss Lucy). I must keep it private for the present from all. I should come to Exeter to see you at once if you tell me I am privilege to come, and where and when. I implore your pardon, madam. I have read your letters to poor Lucy, and know how good you are and how your husband suffer; so I pray you, if it may be, enlighten him not, lest it may harm. Again your pardon, and forgive me.
I’ve said it before, but there are some similarities in the way Dracula and Van Helsing talk. Well, there are some in the way they write too!
You may remember this little bit from May 3rd:
"My Friend.--Welcome to the Carpathians. I am anxiously expecting you. Sleep well to-night. At three to-morrow the diligence will start for Bukovina; a place on it is kept for you. At the Borgo Pass my carriage will await you and will bring you to me. I trust that your journey from London has been a happy one, and that you will enjoy your stay in my beautiful land.
Your friend,
DRACULA.
The letter opened and closed on a fake declaration of friendship, foreshadowing Jonathan’s imprisonment.
Van Helsing does something very similar here, but A. with desperate apologies and B. recognising his status as someone who is very much not Mina’s friend (yet?). So what does it mean?
It means he is breaking down
We saw him run himself ragged to save Lucy and fail. We’ve seen him fall from witty and pretentious banter (with Seward) to hysterical sobbing and laughing (also with Seward) in the span of a few weeks. We’ve seen him hide the truth while also giving out clues, we’ve seen him break down because he knows, and doesn’t want to burden anyone else with this knowledge, but realistically can’t bear the weight on his own.
So when he reads Mina’s letters — the ones Lucy never got to open — he has no choice but to reach out. Mina is not a doctor like Seward, she’s not a Strong Young Blood Donor like the suitors, she’s just a young woman who is also struggling and also loved Lucy, and this fifty-something genius finds a sense of kinship in her, and immediately decides she is the only person who can help him.
But that means she must know, and therefore be trapped in the same Hell he is. Hence the structure of the letter. I LOVE THIS BOOK
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dreamer1084 · 11 hours
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Some Strange Feeling I found in Natsuyuu Ch.131
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Ever since I finished reading this chapter yesterday, posted the spoilers here, went to bed and then got up to go to work, I have been having a strange feeling in my heart.
So I'm going to share about what makes me feel strange. Well, maybe I just think too much, but I don't feel comfortable without talking about it.
Spoilers under cut.
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First, just like what I said yesterday. Natsume talked about things sometimes got weird at home with his expression nature.
Maybe he had finally gotten used to the fact that Youkai often come to Fujiwara's house. But just...not like that?
If there was really something strange at home, shouldn't he worry about the Fujiwara couple's safety first?
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Than, in this page. I saw someone else mentioned that Tanuma's reaction was a bit strange. Personally, I don't think it's an issue. Maybe he just didn't understand cuteness well LOL
But the point is, when Taki asked Natsume who he wanted to give it to, this page does not directly say who. It is odd. Because Natsume wanting to give Touko-san a gift is not something that needs to be hidden. We readers understand everything. I think only a line of dialogue is needed, like "because Touko-san said she likes rabbits, I want to give it to her", it doesn't even take up much space. And Tanuma's respond also didn't have the subject ('who' will be happy?) , though it is normal in Japanese grammar. From the context of the context, we can assume that he wanted to give it to Touko-san. (And got another one for Shigeru-san) But why do the dialogue need to be hidden here?
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Natsume thought that Sensei would catch mice. This did make me feel a little odd, but it wasn't really weird.
But the scene of Touko leaving the house should be on a different day than before ('I also have something to do today'). It's just the panels of this page that made me think it was the same day when I read it at first glance. There is no scene change from day one to day two. I don't think this is a storyboard(name) issue, maybe it's intentional?
.
OK, I am not saying Natsume in this chapter is not Natsume. But he felt too relaxed. Someone said the whole chapter is like in dreaming, I start feeling the same...
Or maybe I really just think too much.
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nogenderbee · 1 day
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♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ ℙ𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕪 𝕒𝕣𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕔𝕥 ₊˚ˑ༄
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @miya-akane request: To celebrate me getting kaveh, can you write an oneshot bout kaveh with fem s/o that would gush over his beauty everytime and everywhere to anyone (basically a simp) cause i love how pretty he is
Perhaps even showing off like 'i have the prettiest boyfriend in the whole world and you cannot argue with that' and etc
-🌹
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ OMG CONGRATS IN GETTING HIM!!
Also YESSS hihihi I swear I had so much fun writing it >w< So hopefully you'll like it too!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff
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It was a normal day at first... you were just getting your work done around Sumeru city when you noticed your boyfriend arguing with his roommate. Kaveh seemed to be a bit irritates as he walked away, so you made it your mission to catch up to him!
"Kaveh!! Wait a second!"
You ran after him yelling throguh whole city, some people even turned to look at you two... And so did your blonde boy~ He was a bit shocked to hear you though...
"Y/N? What are you doing here?"
He stopped in his tracks to look at you and wait patiently for you to come over.
"Oh I was just out running some errands~"
You chirped and quickly threw your hands at him as soon as you came closer to him. Hugging him closely, not hiding how much you missed him.
"Have I told you before how pretty you are~?"
You began again as you looked up at him admiringly. He was so pretty after all! His face was so perfect... his hair was soft... and gosh, those mesmerizing eyes!
"Hehe~ I believe it was yesterday~"
He answered your question, reminding you how you spent whole hour yesterday spoiling him with compliments because you had to go different ways, since it was already midnight...
"One day too long!"
Quickly excusing yourself, you leaned in to plant a few kisses on his cheeks, keeping your hands at the back of his head to keep him even closer. Your voice was filled with sweetness and love too~ And he could sense it!
"You're just so... ADORABLE!! Your cheeks are so soft... and I could play with your hair for decades!"
He on the other hand quickly got flustered despite preparing himself mentally not long ago for what's about to come. His cheeks got slightly more pink and he had problem keeping his hands steadily around you when he was actually melting right now...!!
His hands were still at your sides but he was holding you so gently that you wouldn't have slightest trouble pulling away if you wanted. He tried his best to appear calm since you were in public, but he was doing a horrible job so far... And of course, you noticed it.
"Awwwh~ Look at you! Your cheeks are even cuter now!!"
You poked his cheeks as you pointed out the blush he was having on his face, which only made it deepen.
"Y/N... everyone's looking at us..."
"So? Everyone would agree you're so pretty anyway!"
"Yes but- can we please move it to somewhere private?"
He asked seemingly begging fate to let you agree to move it anywhere else than middle on the city, as you are now. And it seemed to listen to him for once!
"Sure~ My place?"
"Sounds perfect."
He quickly agreed to your offer despite the fact he was supposed to buy some resources for his new architecture project... Right now, he only wanted to move this little scene somewhere more cornered so both his reputation wouldn't get hurt and so he could enjoy your attention only to himself~
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
@bleachtheidiot - come get your architect beuty~
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morganaspendragonss · 2 hours
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you only see the light shine in dark times
5.01 has apparently given me inspiration again we love to see it! enjoy! ao3 | 1k | 5.01 coda, angst and hurt/comfort
He’s grown used to it by now, to Carlos rushing off in the middle of lunch dates and coming home in the middle of the night. He’s grown used to the thousand-yard stares and the constant presence of that case looming over them. He’s grown used to sleeping alone.
But it still hurts. It still aches something deep within TK when he spends yet another night with only Lou Two for company. He could invite people over, the crew, his dad, but he doesn’t want them to know that this is what his life – his marriage – has become. They wouldn’t understand, and he thinks perhaps his dad would understand a little too well, which is an uncomfortable thought.
Not that his marriage is going to end up like his parents’. TK won’t let it. And he is proud of Carlos; deeply, wholly, overwhelmingly so. Seeing him on the news tonight, standing at the chief’s right hand, the youngest Ranger in the line-up by far, had sent a pulse of love and pride directly to TK’s heart, where it still sits, beating strongly away. He loves Carlos for his dedication to his work, and he wouldn’t have him any other way.
But he would have him at home.
The loft isn’t a big place, smaller even than his New York apartment, but right now it feels cavernous, yawning around him. He can almost hear the echo of his feet on the concrete as he sets Lou back in his tank and clears up for the night. The remaining peppers go in the fridge, alongside the leftovers of a dinner he’d made last night in the foolish hope that they could share a full meal together without worrying about call-outs or cases. Instead, TK had been left with too much chicken pasta and Carlos had eaten vending machine energy bars and peanuts.
TK doesn’t fully trust that he won’t do the same tonight, but there’s nothing he can do about it now, except leave the light by the window on. He imagines it’s a beacon, a sole light in the dark, and he imagines that Carlos can see it from his office all the way across town. 
Come home, he thinks, wishes, prays. Come home to me.
Even after he gets in bed, he always tries to stay up for a while, waiting to hear the door rolling along the tracks, Carlos shuffling about, the click of the lamp being turned off. It’s a rare occasion, but it’s happened once or twice, and TK likes to feign sleep until Carlos is finally settled next to him. Then, he’ll pretend to stir, just a little, and he’ll roll over to pull him close.
Tonight, as with most nights, he doesn’t make it, though he’s not sure what time it is when he finally falls asleep. All he knows is that it’s late and Carlos still hasn’t come home.
*
While nights are an ever rarer privilege, TK can usually count on at least a few minutes with his husband in the mornings. Which is why he panics this morning, when he wakes up not to Carlos in bed with him, but to coldness on the other side of the bed. It’s happened before when he’s overslept after a long or late shift, but yesterday’s was neither, and a quick glance at his phone tells him it’s not even seven yet. If Carlos hasn’t come home… But he has to have come home, because who will TK call now that Gabriel is gone? 
His phone is in his hand anyway before he’s managed to disentangle himself from the bedsheets, but it’s proved unnecessary a second later. The bedroom door slides open and Carlos appears on the other side, smiling despite the exhaustion lying heavy across his features. 
“Hey, I thought I heard you,” he says, coming to sit on the bed next to TK. He puts a hand on TK’s knee, his thumb rubbing gently across the skin. “You look upset, what’s going on?”
TK waits before answering. It’s a difficult question to answer these days; he can’t let Carlos know what’s really wrong because that… Well, that’s an argument he doesn’t want to have just yet. 
“Nothing,” he decides. “Just, weird dreams, you know. What time did you get in last night?”
Carlos’s expression shutters and he pulls his hand back, ostensibly to look at his watch. “Uhh, no idea. I stopped for something to eat on the way, so.”
“Good.”
The silence that falls between them is tense, awkward in a way it so rarely is between them. TK doesn’t know how to fix this, doesn’t know when it broke in the first place. It was gradual, cracks forming with every missed dinner and late night. Sometimes it feels like the only thing connecting them is that light by the window, left on as a sign that there is someone to come home to. 
Carlos sucks in a deep breath and TK turns to him, already knowing what he’ll say. 
“I was just about to head out, wanted to see you before I left. You should go back to sleep.” He pats TK’s knee again and makes to stand, but TK snatches his hand before he can fully pull away. 
“I’m awake now,” he tries, pouring as much love as he can into the words. “Maybe I can drive you to work, we can pick up some breakfast on the way? I’ll pick you up when you finish.”
Carlos smiles, but it’s small and regretful. “I already ate, and I don’t want to bother you on your day off.”
“It’s not–”
“Besides, I might stay late again,” Carlos interrupts. “I’m not sure, but I have to keep working on this, TK. I can’t– I couldn’t forgive myself if I stopped.”
TK nods. “I understand.”
And he does. He does. Still. His heart sinks as he lets go of Carlos, allowing him to stand up and leave.
“I’ll leave a light on for you,” he calls out as Carlos reaches the door. “I love you.”
Carlos turns back once, smiles. “Love you.”
Then he’s gone, and TK is alone again.
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angelasscribbles · 1 day
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Law's End: Murder at Vista Heights Chapter 7
Series: Law’s End
Episode 1: Murder at Vista Heights
Fandom: The Royal Romance (loosely, there is zero canon, I've just borrowed the characters)
Pairings: None yet
Word Count: 2,582
Rating: MA
Warnings for series: adult themes, any given chapter may contain murder, violence, language, drinking, drug use, etc.
My other stuff can be found here: Master List.
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The conference room in the homicide division of the seventh precinct was filled with the smells of coffee and fresh pastries. It was early. Too early, considering they’d all been there until well after midnight interrogating witnesses.
The food was Bertrand’s way of making up for the fact that no one had gotten much sleep the night before, but everyone still turned up bright and early, ready to work.
“So, she does have a history of stalking.” Liam flipped the file across the table to Flynn.
Detective O’Malley reached for the manila folder and flipped it open. “Who’d she stalk?”
“Clarence Coleman. An app developer. The police reports are in there. He was granted a restraining order. I’ve left a message for him to contact us. See if he’s heard from her lately.”
Flynn skimmed the information in front of him. “This was three years ago.”
Liam nodded. “It’s likely that she stopped harassing Cole when she started sleeping with Trent.”
There was a knock on the conference room door and Rashad entered, carrying a laptop. “There are no security cameras at the vic’s apartment complex, but I found a late model Nissan Pathfinder registered to the suspect and scrubbed video footage from nearby traffic cameras.” He placed the laptop on the table and flipped it around for the detectives to see.
Liam leaned forward to get a closer look. “Is that our suspect?”
“Yes,” Rashad confirmed, “Three blocks away from our vic’s house, heading that direction, fifteen minutes before the 911 call. And this….” He swiped to another image. “…is her ten minutes after the call heading the other direction through the same intersection.”
“We need more than that for an arrest warrant,” Flynn said as he zoomed in, looking for any evidence of blood visible in the photo, but it was too grainy. “It’s not illegal to be in the vicinity.”
Liam pushed away from the table. “Let’s get back over to the apartment complex and show her photo to the neighbors. Maybe someone will remember seeing her that morning.”
An hour later, he was seated in a small but elegant dining room as Stella Haltom served him coffee. Flynn was canvassing other neighbors, ones they hadn’t been able to reach yesterday.
Liam had tried to decline, but Stella was insistent.
“You’re very young for a homicide detective, aren’t you?”
“Yes, ma’am, I—”
“Are you single?”
“I am. But—”
“Really? A young, handsome, successful man like you?”
“Well—”
“You know, if things don’t work out between my granddaughter and that nice reporter—”
Liam shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Ma’am, if we could get back to business. I just have a few quick questions—”
“Oh, yes, of course! You wanted me to look at more photos?”
“Well, one more.” Liam pulled up the photograph of Sabrina Simmons on his cell phone and held it out to her.
“Oh, my yes!” Stella somehow managed to convey disapproval with a nod of her head. “That was the one that was over there the most.”
“Did he entertain a lot of women?”
Stella snorted so hard she choked on her coffee. Once she recovered her breath, she clarified, “Whatever you think a lot is, multiply that by at least three!”
“That many?”
“Yes, and now that I think of it, two days before the murder, this one,” she gestured toward his phone, “showed up while one of the other ones was there.”
“Was there an argument?”
“Was there an argument?” She scoffed as a frown pulled her lips down. “Woke half the building with the screaming. I’m surprised no one called the cops.”
“Thank you. This is very helpful. Did you happen to see her on the day of the murder?”
“No, but that doesn’t mean anything. I was gone for most of the morning.”
“Where were you, again?”
“I left to help organize the church rummage sale early that morning.”
Liam checked his notes. “So, you overheard the argument between the two men when?”
“On my way out. I had to walk past Mr. Hayes’ apartment on my way to the elevator.”
“Just to review… you overheard the argument at roughly seven a.m., left for the church, followed by brunch, and returned home just after noon.”
“That’s correct.”
“So, you were home when the gunshots were fired?”
“Yes.” She shuddered. “It was terrifying!”
“And you didn’t see or hear anyone else coming or going from his apartment that day?”
“No.”
“Is there anything you can think of that you noticed that day? Anything at all?”
“I already told you everything yesterday. And that lovely reporter as well.”
Liam sighed at the mention of Riley. He couldn’t forbid a private citizen from speaking to the press, no matter how much he wanted to. But it did remind him of something. “Speaking of Miss Brooks… she mentioned you saw a woman at the victim’s apartment the night before the murder?”
“Yes.”
“Was that woman either of these?” He showed her the photographs of both Sabrina and Katie again.
Stella peered at both, then shook her head. “No.”
“Do you know who she was?”
“No, sir. I’m sorry. I couldn’t keep up with all the women that were in and out of that apartment. Besides, I don’t like to get into other people’s business.”
It took a concerted effort for him to not react to such an obviously false statement.
He jotted down a general description of the woman before extricating himself from the conversation. “Okay, ma’am. Thank you for your time.”
“I’m always happy to help the boys in blue!” she smiled proudly. “You have my number in case you have any further questions, right?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ve got it.” Liam flipped his notepad closed. “If you think of anything else, please let us know.”
He stepped out into the hallway and reconvened with his partner. “How’d it go on your end?”
Flynn shrugged. “I found multiple witnesses that identified Sabrina Simmons as Trenton Hayes’ girlfriend, but none that could definitively place her at the scene on the day of the murder.”
“I confirmed there was a third woman here the night before the murder, but I don’t know who.”
“We’ll have the plainclothes canvas again and try to find that information. I think it’s time you and I go have a conversation with Ms. Simmons.”
“Agreed.” Liam pushed the button for the elevator. When it dinged open, he found himself face to face with Riley. “What are you doing here?”
“Good morning to you, too.” She stepped back so they could fit into the lift with her. “Probably the same thing you are.”
Liam made a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat as they stepped into the elevator. “Where’s your sidekick this morning?”
“Max?” She looked surprised at his question. “I don’t know. Probably sleeping in after that late night we all had. Why do you ask?”
Liam shrugged. “I’m just used to seeing the two of you together.”
“When I need a photographer.” She studied his demeanor, then a small grin crept across her face. “Why so interested in who I spend my time with, detective?”
“I’m not.”
Before she could answer, the elevator rocked to a stop on the first floor and the doors slid open. As they stepped off, a familiar face caught her eye. “Drake!”
The PI turned from the concierge desk to face the trio, his eyes lighting up. “Riley! What a pleasant surprise!” He was less enthusiastic as he greeted the two men. “Hello, detectives.”
The men exchanged handshakes as Liam asked, “Why are you here, Walker?”
“I’m investigating the murder of Trent Hayes. I was officially retained to do so this morning by Sadie McGraw. I was thinking it would be in both our best interests to collaborate.”
“I don’t know—”
Flynn’s phone cut through the conversation. He pulled it out and glanced down at the screen. “This is the boss. Hold on.”
Flynn stepped away to take the call, leaving Riley with Liam and Drake.
Not awkward at all.
After a brief conversation, Flynn returned to inform the group, “The chief just got out of a meeting with the mayor. We are to collaborate and cooperate fully with Walker here.”
“Great!” Drake gloated.
“Great,” Liam grumbled.
Flynn shot a pointed look at Riley. “If you’ll excuse us, ma’am, we have a case to discuss.”
“Don’t let me get in your way. I’m just going to grab a latte and update my notes.” She gave them a disarming smile and turned on her heel, disappearing into the small coffee shop located just off the main entrance.
She really was going to update her notes, but she had no intention of leaving without an update on the case. Liam was never going to crack, but she liked her chances of getting information out of Drake. She fired off a quick text as she waited for her drink.
Ten minutes later, Drake was at her table. “You said you had some information for me?”
“I said I was willing to trade information with you.” She gestured for him to sit as the barista approached to take his order.
He ordered a black coffee and then returned his attention to the reporter. “What information do you have that I can��t find out for myself?”
“Maybe none.” She lifted a shoulder. “But it took me three hours of knocking on doors to find out the identity of the woman Trent was with the night before the murder. You could spend the next three hours doing the same or we could help each other out.”
He regarded her thoughtfully for a moment. He didn’t have to reveal anything about his client to slip her the information about who the police were looking at as their prime suspect. “I suppose I could share a detail or two. You’re going to find it out on your own anyway.”
Her eyebrows raised. “How do you know that?”
“Because I did a little digging. Your investigative skills are impressive. No wonder you’ve won the Edward R. Murrow Award for journalism as well as two Scripps Awards.”
Her eyebrows arched even higher as she took a long sip of her latte before placing the cup carefully on the table in front of her. “Wow. You really did do your homework. I don’t know whether to be impressed or alarmed. Are you stalking me, sir?”
“Hardly.” He snorted. “Are you going to tell me that you did absolutely no research on me after agreeing to a date?”
“I agreed to dinner. No one said it was a date.”
“Semantics, but fine. Dinner. Answer the question. Did you not look into me at all?”
“You mean did I find out that you graduated from the police academy at the top of your class but quit six months into your first year to go into business with your father? That you have one sister, Savannah, and that you’ve never been married?”
He gave her a smug smile. “I knew you were into me.”
“Please,” she laughed, “It’s just common sense to find out what you can about a man you plan to be alone with.”
He leaned across the table with a smirk. “So, you plan to be alone with me?”
She hid a grin behind her cup. “At the very least I’ll be getting into a car alone with you when we go to dinner.”
“Is that all?”
“Well, we’ll see how the evening progresses, won’t we?”
“Can’t wait.”
“Now, are you going to tell me what you learned from the cops?”
“I don’t know. Are you going to tell me who the woman from the other night is?”
“If your information is good enough.”
“I know who their prime suspect is.”
“Is it Katie or William Sloan or Dean Collins?”
“No.”
She sat up straighter. “There’s another suspect in play?”
He twirled his coffee cup in his fingers. “Yep.”
“Okay. Yes, that’s a fair trade. Who is it?”
“Sabrina Simmons. She was his secretary when he was engaged to Katie. He cheated on Katie with Sabrina. That’s the reason they broke up. After Katie dumped him, Sabrina became his girlfriend. Last weekend, she showed up while he was entertaining someone else. Several neighbors heard the argument. The theory is that she got fed up with his womanizing. She has a history of stalking, and the cheating gives her motive.”
“Interesting theory, because the woman that was there Monday night is his current secretary.”
“Sounds like he has a history of sleeping with his secretary. What’s her name?”
“Sarah Foster. She’s not at work today. I already called.”
“Well, her boss slash boyfriend was murdered yesterday. I can track down a home address for her.”
“Way ahead of you.” She shoved her notes into her bag as she stood up. “Wanna go question her together?”
“How the hell did you get her address already?”
It was Riley’s turn to smirk. “I have my sources.”
“Okay, let’s go. But I’m driving.”
“I don’t want to leave my car here. I’ll meet you there. Here’s the address.” She quickly scribbled the information on a piece of paper.
He threw some money on the table to cover the coffee, took the slip of paper from her, and then pulled his phone out and opened the contact list.
“What are you doing?”
“Holding up my end of the deal with the CCPD. Collaboration works both ways.”
“Could you at least wait until after we have a chance to talk to her?”
He hesitated as he considered her request. “Why?”
“Because you and I both know that once the police get there, I won’t be allowed to talk to her! Police protocol this and interfering with an investigation that, blah, blah, blah… Come on…. You wouldn’t even know who she was if it wasn’t for me.”
“I would have eventually knocked on the right door and found out.”
“Yeah, hours from now, by which time I would have already interviewed her for my article. Don’t make me regret sharing information with you.”
“Fine.” He slotted the phone back into his pocket. “You get ten minutes with her, then I’m making the call.”
“Deal. Let’s go!”
The drive from Vista Heights to Sarah’s apartment complex took nearly forty-five minutes. Riley found Drake waiting for her in front of the entrance.
The apartment complex was a stark contrast to Trent’s. A dingy brick building surrounded by other dingy brick buildings, it had no doorman, and the front door was propped open. There was certainly no concierge desk or coffee shop in the lobby.
No elevator came when Drake pushed the button. “Looks like we’re taking the stairs.”
“Good thing she’s only on the fourth floor.”
As they approached apartment 412, Drake suddenly stopped and put his arm out to halt Riley.
“What?”
“Shhh….” He moved in front of her and pulled a gun from his hip. “The door is cracked open. Stay here.”
Riley Brooks hadn’t built her career by standing down. The moment Drake pushed the door open and stepped across the threshold, she followed, keeping quiet so he wouldn’t notice.
“Hello? Is anyone home? Sarah?” He called out as he made his way through the living room. He entered the kitchen and stopped in his tracks. “Well, shit.”
Riley entered right behind him, craning her neck to peer around him. Well, shit was right.
Sarah Foster lay on the kitchen floor in a pool of blood.
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lilyaceofdiamonds · 2 years
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TFW the only thing getting you out of bed is that you can take more pain pills
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bunnihearted · 4 months
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goddess the body feels sooo good after a workout 🫠
#it feels so warm and heavy and so comfortable omg#have y'all heard about exercise and stretching it is amazing owo#my thighs are super gooey tho like can barely sit and stand#luv it!!!#it feels extra good bc i woke up today super depressed (bc yesterday was rough)#and i just wanted to keep my earplugs in and cry and stay in bed all day#but somehow i managed to get up and walk all the way to the gym#and i worked out for almost 2hrs lol like when i get started i dont wanna leave#i did more on the crosstrainer (my bby i love the crosstrainer) and i dared to use the leg machine i wanted#i could adjust the seat this time phew. and i tried just one bump heaver weight for everything too#owoowowow and for some reason i didnt totally wanna throw up when i had to observe myself in the mirror skskk#so yeah it was a good session today ^-^#as always tho i do feel stupid and inadequate... bc almost everyone who is there is in great shape#and they know what they're doing and they're doing complicated exercises with very heavy weight and im there#with my 2kg dumbells getting strains in my wrists (im careful tho dw!!!!!)#im definitely doing it at a very low level but last time i worked out was before my knee got fucked and before all of these weird pains#😃😃😃 so im not even as strong as i was when i was overweight.. i never felt weak when i was#but i go to the gym because i enjoy it since it's fun and even the low intensity stuff i do makes my body feel nice#and if i keep going regularly for years maybe i'll also get in good shape and do more and more stuff#i wanna be a gym bunny!!!!!!#i used to actually love the gym so much i wanted to work at one skksks
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marsixm · 2 months
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i did so much today im so tired
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#it's so weird trying to describe yourself when u really aren't something u used to be#like until i was probably 21 or so id say i was shy. very very shy. but now im like was that even true? was i ever shy bc im not now#maybe i was just quiet and anxious. maybe thats just what being shy is. but im still both of those things but im not shy#im sorta like a hermit. i dont really go around ppl if i can avoid it but i dont hate being around ppl. its just that im less anxious when#im alone. but if u put me around ppl i like to talk to them so im not shy. ill say whatever. i dont really give a fuck#but if u throw me in a group i go back to being a non entity. i guess thats just being an introvert with an asocial streak#thats a thing i noticed while i was at the grad weekend i attended in march. the group would gather and do things while i kinda just#wandered away from them to poke at trees and sit in the snow. i dunno i just feel better away from ppl. my brain gets a lot louder if ive#been too social. which is a shame bc its interesting to watch ppl and understand how thry work#my friend came over to day goodbye before i leave next week. which was nice. i wish we would have hung out more in person but so it goes#and i think in my head im a lot more contained thst i actually am. like if u set me a task that becomes my focus but im also sorta all over#the place. partly bc i think my brain works on like a lag. and also my mood is a little elevated rn so im sorta like *jazz hands* and#talking too fast and too much and oversharing. yesterday i was instrucing an undergrad and felt so bad bc my brain was all over the place.#could not b made linear. im tired now tho bc theres nothing more draining than being emotionally honest and talking for like 2hrs. woof. it#so hot. like fucking so hot bc the monsoons have started and humidity is up so my swamp cooler is fucked and its gotta b at least 80 degree#inside my apartment. holy christ. and the temp has been over 100 degrees for like at least 2 weeks. its so hot its kinda alarming. and im#glad my friend was also freaked out by how hot its been bc oh god its hot. and i cant focus. ive done fuck all today. but i did get rid of#couch which is so so so great. ugh. someone make the sun stop making it so hot#unrelated#its been over 100 degrees outside for like 2 weeks. not on my apartment#and when i say i wish i spent more time with my friend irl. i mean it in a distant sort of way. like thats how im supposed to feel. like i#dont kno if thats actually what i feel or i kno im supposed to b social but idk if i actually mean it
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zippers · 11 months
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wish i could gain weight without eating 😭😭😭 like a sims slider i just wanna gain like 15 pounds in 15 seconds is that too much to ask of my body?!?! apparently
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boomerang109 · 1 year
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spent my birthday money on replacing my loops cause somehow i lost them and this world is too loud
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lucysweatslove · 1 year
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You would think as a person who recovered from an ED I would learn NOT to weigh myself, like, ever, but of course I keep doing it because curiosity and it only causes distress.
#tw for the tags since it talks about weight#and tw for calories too#mainly because like this should be the lowest point for cycle and hormonal based weight#but somehow I’m up 1.2 lbs from last week#logical me is like yes you had a high salt day yesterday#but then I see the scales BIA basically pegged it all as fat gain#and then I see the whole plot since I’ve had the scale and it says my water weight % hasn’t changed in a range of 20 lbs#I’m trying a little bit to just feel better and wear clothes I feel comfortable in and stuff before school#I thought yeah if I work at it I can be down a little before rural clinic and more before white coat ceremony#but instead compared to 4 weeks ago I’m not even down a pound#I actually did try meticulous counting and weighing for the last two weeks#granted I still refuse to say no to social foods that I can’t be so meticulous about#but I really struggle to see how at my lean mass with how I’ve been eating vast majority of the time HOW even a day could mess it up#like when I’m eating ~1450 calories a day in average with 100g protein how is my weight not changing#especially when I’m lifting 2-4 hours a week and doing cardio for 2-3 hours too#keep in mind I am large rn and I do have decent lean body mass#like if I were to drop to 20% body fat but keep all my lean mass I would still be classified as overweight#so yeah it’s just frustrating#its not so much that I can’t accept my body as it is but that I know I’m being constantly judged on it and I don’t want to deal with that#anyway gonna go cry and consider making breakfast but bring too frustrated to actually cook
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Tell me how I was 400 cals over my limit yesterday and today I had 500 cals In chocolate chip cookies but when I just weighed myself I’m somehow at my low weight ?
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petitgalaxy · 1 year
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.
#btw this isn’t like a sad vent i just can’t sleep and figured i’d talk on here for a bit#so i have an ear infection (pain i wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy fr it is so bad)#and the pain for the first 3 days was AKSJQJWJSJJAJAJAJSJWJSJSJSJSHSJSJSHSH like i was writhing in a hot bath with my eyes shut#gripping the tub walls and shit couldn’t play music or anything to distract myself bc it hurt too bad#and i went to doc the day after it developed and got antibiotics and was taking a shit ton of ibuprofen and acetaminophen#and the pain reduced a lot after those first few days (thank fucking god. the only thing more painful that i’ve experienced was foot surgery#and that was on my bones). but my ear is completely clogged#can’t hear shit at all and for the past week it’s been draining tons of disgusting pus and other fluids#like fucking soaking and staining parts of my pillow from all the liquid 🤢#but i finished my course of antibiotics and was trying to go abt my life#messaged the doctor after a while like ‘hey i’m done with the antibiotics and the pain is better but i cant hear anything#and i’m literally leaking everywhere all the time’ and they were like ‘your symptoms will resolve w time’ and i said ‘how much time’#and they said ‘weeks idk’ and i was like fuck alright but i guess this isn’t that bad#and THEN the day before yesterday i was eating lunch and noticed that my bottom lip felt numb or something like weird#and i kept having to wipe drool and food off the corner of my mouth which is not normal for me and it was freaking me out#and by evening by eye is constantly watering and i can’t figure out why like there’s nothing in it to irritate it#and the next day i go to work and by the time I’m done with work I’m like this is not right and bc i’m a hypochondriac i’m like#‘am i having/did i have a stroke’ and so i go through the FAST stroke symptoms thing (face / arms / smile / time)#and i realize that i cant SMILE like the right side of my mouth will not do it and it’s all lopsided so i freak out and call my mom#she’s not sure that it’s a big deal at first but then she’s like okay make a dr appt bc something is up#so i call dr and luckily there’s an urgent care w our insurance that’s still open and she takes me there an hour later#turns out 1) the ear infection never went away and it’s still swollen and inflamed to all hell 2) i’ve developed swimmer’s ear on top of it#(which i’ve had many times before when i was an active swimmer so that’s not that bad)#and 3) and most importantly i’ve developed something called bell’s palsy which is partial facial paralysis#caused by the infection damaging my facial nerves#so the right side of my face (infection side) is partially paralyzed#most noticeably in my bottom lip and my eye#in that i am having trouble doing things like blowing air out of my mouth#sucking on a straw or eating food (soup was a nightmare) or smiling or drinking etc#and my eye can’t fully close bc the muscles don’t work so i’m constantly crying out of that eye and it’s getting more and more irritated
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