#i already have to decide too many things for teaching i cannot decide more things

[itfitsitshipsart]

So I've feel like I've started to get into the swing of things class-wise. And that means I feel I need to bring in some game time at night for myself.

But... I'm stuck on which game >3<

Help me pick, friends?~

[elicathebunny]

FINALLY CLOSING THE GAP BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR HIGHEST SELF IN 2024.

You are going to STOP scrolling endlessly for self-help and advice content and you are going to STOP and apply the knowledge you have endlessly gained. Obtaining help and advice knowledge is useless if it goes through one ear and comes straight out the other. STOP becoming addicted to the idea of scrolling and scrolling for your problems yet you already have the resources to fix them. A fool is a person who cannot decide to take action despite having access to the information needed to do so.

BREAKING FREE FROM THE SCROLLING CYCLE

Learning and Applying is one thing, but Learning and Staying Stationary is literally brain rot. You're addicted to the idea of change and the end result, but you never take the steps towards discipline with a personal structure to get that result. You keep looking for quick fixes and easy hacks, but life is not a quick fix and no hack can elevate your life from 0% to 100% without visiting the rest of the numbers first.

TAKE A BREAK FROM SCROLLING

Take time away from your usual scrolling and learn to be on your own. Learn your own ways of self-care, learn what works for you and understand what you need, because nobody is the same. Following a millionaire's morning routine will not make you a millionaire. This routine has worked for someone to feel and be productive in the morning and was probably curated over the years to suit their current lifestyle. So, seeing other people's successes and comparing their working ways to your life is unrealistic if you are not in a position to implement them. Going straight from 0% (Being unproductive and procrastinating) to 100% (Being incredibly Productive and in tune with self) will not be sustainable for someone who has not built the discipline and the inner foundations required for it. STOP seeing information online and taking it without ALTERING anything to your personal situation.

STOP ASKING HOW TO AND JUST DO

"How to lose weight, How to become more social, How to do this and that"

Most of these things you ALREADY know the answer to. Everybody knows that to lose weight, you need to burn more than you consume. There is literally no other way, no magic and no secret hack, just that simple fact. I guarantee you know that to become more social you just have to be social. Learn to be comfortable in social situations which will require inner work, but it's not a difficult concept. Most of us know what we need to do, yet we still try to find quick fixes or another way that same message is presented to us differently. We act as if we are improving and developing on our "improvement" journey yet we are just finding coping ways to feel like we are moving, yet we are still in the exact same place as before. I know you know what to do, I know you have researched what you should do and ways you can do it. So why are you not doing it? Why are you still not where you want to be? If you are not where you want to be, then what you're currently doing needs to change. You cannot do the exact same thing you've been doing for years and expect a different outcome. You need to curate a routine suited to your needs that is realistic and achievable to adopt.

LEARNING TO MOVE ON YOUR OWN, STOP DEPENDING ON OTHERS TO FUEL YOUR SUCCESS JOURNEY LISTEN TO: NOBODY IS COMING TO SAVE YOU BY JULIENHIMSELF Make yourself your safe space, your foundation. When you see yourself in the mirror you should be able to tell yourself "I love you", you should be so sure in what you do that nobody else can contradict what you believe in yourself, this is the end goal of self-improvement. Many of us have put aside our goals because we "are not ready", "people may judge us" or "I need to be/achieve ___ to.." Now don't get me wrong, I'm on this journey with you. I write on this blog to teach my brain how to think in the higher mindset that I'm creating for myself. I too have thoughts like this which is why in 2024 we are going to break out of our old selves to make room for our new selves together. We have to lose ourselves to find ourselves. If you're mood and self-worth are controlled by other people's opinions, then you will never advance further with yourself and will remain stationary. You have to stop allowing other people to determine whether you are allowed to pursue your desires or if you shouldn't because of fear of rejection. Don't take life too seriously, we are only here for so much time. So what if people make fun of you? In a few years will you look back and be proud and fulfilled of your past or feel regret and disappointment? LISTEN TO: WHY YOU CARE SO MUCH BY JULIANHIMSELF + LISTEN TO: HOW TO DETACH BY VICKITA TRIVEDI

The only way to get to 0%-100% is by doing.

Embody your potential

[facioleeknow]

The art of pleasure ch.1

Caress ° Bang Chan

When one girl in your class makes fun of you for being a virgin at a party, you are left distraught. It's only natural that you decide to whine about it to your best friend, Bang Chan; but he does more than lending a shoulder to cry on, he comes up with a solution. He and his 7 friends will help you and teach you all about the pleasure of the flesh. What could go wrong?

Genre: College AU, SMUT 18+ ONLY wc: 1431

Warnings: fraternity skz, inexperienced reader, experienced chan and stray kids, kissing, frat party, a bitch, insecurities

The art of pleasure masterlist

A/N: Hello, thank you so much for the support on this series!! This chapter is pretty tame BUT IT IS THE FIRST, so don't worry about it!! Channie girls don't worry he's gonna get some later ;)

Another semester. Another party at the only frat house on campus, it was nothing out of the ordinary. The usual room filled with flowing alcohol and the usual people, dancing to the usual songs. You’re sure it might be the idea of fun of some of the people that surrounded you but not yours, obviously not yours. That was why you were the only unusual thing in there. You weren’t a party animal, you weren’t so extroverted as to go to a party to have fun. Unfortunately it was also your best friend’s birthday who happened to be the president of the fraternity, so you really couldn’t have said no to his invitation. 

The scene in front of you shifted. A drunk girl started approaching you.

“Oh my god, Y/N! You’re here, I’m so happy to see you,” the girl, from one of your classes, threw her arms around you and squeezed tightly. The feeling of her foreign body pressed against yours made you shiver uncomfortably. 

“Oh, c’mon Y/Nnie, loosen up a little!” Alice said with a sly slime. Before you could commit murder in cold blood in front of your whole year, your two (out of three) friends pulled you away into a more secluded area of the room. In front of you laid a messy circle of people, intently focused on a spinning bottle.

‘Yuck’

“I can't believe people still play spin the bottle at their old age,” Shuhua mumbled as disgusted as you.

“You read my mind,Shu.”

“Omg Y/Nnie! You want to play spin the bottle? Wouldn't it be embarrassing tho? Since you're a virgin at your big age,” Alice fell into a fit of giggles, soon followed by her friends.

“God, she cannot be serious,” you whispered to your friends while you all collectively side-eyed the bitch. And that was exactly what she was, nothing other than a bitch. But then why was your face burning in shame and your heart racing? Why were your palms sweating so much? You shouldn't have been that affected but you were.

For the whole night you couldn’t help but think about Alice's words, because no matter how spiteful they were and how much of a bitch she was, they were also true. You were a virgin “at your big age”, but that had never bothered you until you had entered college. Never in your life had you seen so many people get involved with each other and in some ways you felt pushed aside and in the dark about this magical new world that everybody had already discovered, everybody but you. 

The red solo cup in your hands wrinkled slightly under your fingertips as you squeezed it. You shouldn’t have been thinking about those things, why were you hyperfocusing right now?

“You’re supposed to collect the cups, babygirl, not strangle them,”a masculine voice pulled you out of your train of thoughts. Bang Chan, the birthday boy and your best friend. You and Chan had known each other since your first year of college, he had saved you from making a fool out of yourself the first day and walked you to your lecture hall. Since then he had stuck by your side and helped you make some new friends even if you were extremely picky with people.

“Ew, Christopher, I told you not to call me that,” you grimaced at the cringey name. He just giggled.

“I know, but I like annoying you too much,” another giggle. A small smile threatened to break your “angry” facade, this carefree side of him was a rare sight and the fact that he was showing it to you was making you giddy.

His warm hands snatched the trash bag away from you before clasping around your smaller ones. 

“Seriously, what is going on?”

Lying wasn’t an option, he was way too observant for his own good, he always knew when you lied even when you didn’t yourself. You scoffed.

“Just something Alice said,'' and with that you tried to grab the bag from behind him to resume your job. No movement, he had an iron grip on you.

“What did she say?”

“Just her usual nagging, you know how she is,” you tugged and tried to get away from his grip to no avail.

“Tell me,” he wasn’t asking and that was obvious to the both of you.

“She said that it’s embarrassing to be a virgin at my big age.”

Chan finally let your hands fall to your sides and in exchange wrapped his arms around you and squished you against his chest.

“Bitch, she shouldn’t have been here, she wasn’t invited,” his chest rumbled with his words, “I’m sorry Y/N, I hope you know she’s in the wrong.” 

With your arms wrapped around Chan and your face squished against his chest, with the gentleness of his voice caressing you, you found it hard to lie so you just stayed silent.

“Oh baby, don’t think about it, okay? She’s wrong and there is nothing wrong with you. Let’s go to bed, I can clean up tomorrow morning.”

For the whole night you tossed and turned with always the same thought in you mind, hoping not to wake Chan who was sleeping soundly next to you for once.It was no surprise that early in the morning you felt exhausted, your limbs were heavy and your mind was foggy, but you still couldn’t fall asleep. 

“Did you sleep at all? I heard you move around a lot,” Christopher groaned next to you, his arm lazily draped over your middle.

“Sorry,” you tried to utter in your half dead state.

“I had an idea while I was sleeping,” he dragged your body against his and started to gently rub your arm to ease you to sleep. You only hummed in response.

“You should let me and the kids teach you about sex, you know us and we’re good people, we would never push you to do anything. We can take anything at your own pace, we’ll teach you well,” he spoke like he was saying the most natural thing in the world and not suggesting you get passed between him and his other seven friends. Sensing your confusion, Chan gently shushed you and started rubbing your arm again.

“Think about it, we can talk about it when you wake up.”

A witty response was about to come out of your mouth but darkness enveloped you like a hug. Chan hugged you tighter to his chest and sighed. ‘That went well’, he thought.

When you woke up, a blinding light was filtering through the window. Damn Christopher who never closed the blinds.

“Good morning,” the said man chirped happily from next to you. The moment you laid your eyes on him, the conversation from that morning resurfaced to your mind. The frantic beating of your heart sent a shot of adrenaline through you.

“I take it you remember what I asked you,” he put his phone back on his nightstand to fully give you his attention.

“Chris..” you started but he swiftly interrupted you.

“We’re not doing it out of pity, we are all attracted to you, we wouldn’t make it awkward and if you refuse it’s gonna be like it never happened,” Chris answered all of your questions like he could read your mind. You were confused, your heart (and your vagina) wanted to say yes but your head told you to refuse. 

‘Fuck it, stop thinking.’

“Okay, let’s do it.” Chris stayed silent, only your synced breaths could be heard in the room. The tension was thick and full of desire.

“Can I kiss you, pretty girl? Just a kiss and you can stop me anytime you want.”

“Yes, please.” With that Chris  pulled you in his lap in mere seconds and attached your lips together. He wasted no time and pushed his tongue in your mouth, still his movements were gentle and slow just like yours were slow and hesitant. His whole persona dripped in gentle dominance, it made you hot and sweat and made your pussy throb. His hands roamed your body and tentatively groped around, testing your limits. Your lips moved more and more confidently the more time they were attached to Chan���s.

Your lungs burned from the lack of air but you didn’t care, you were drunk on his touch, his taste, you were drunk on him.

Chan was the first to break the kiss and immediately giggled when you tried to kiss him again.

“Patience baby, we have a lot of time.”

Taglist:

@kflixnet  @hann1bee  @bahng-chrizz  @staysinbloom  @laylasbunbunny @caitlyn98s

[rivendell-poet]

*･༓˚✧❝𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 (𝐋𝐨𝐭𝐑)❞‧͙⁺˚༓˚✧ « scenarios »

○ Aragorn ○ Legolas ○ Frodo ○ Sam ○ Merry ○ Pippin ○ Boromir ○ Faramir ○ Éowyn ○ Éomer ○ Bard ○ Thranduil ○ Tauriel ○ Lindir ○ Haldir ○ Elladan ○ Elrohir ○

GN!Reader | Wordcount : 3.7k (each individual around 220~ words) | Read on Ao3

TWS : Faramir's self esteem issues (Faramir)

Notice : This is a scenario set before they have confessed to you.

« 1, 6, 7, 8, masterlist »

𝐀𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐧

✧ Overall, Aragorn still thinks it’s a good idea not to tell anyone about his feelings for you - but that doesn’t stop him from getting irritated when others try to flirt with you.

✧ Especially when his older brother decides to flirt with you.

✧ Realistically, Aragorn knows the two of you are joking around - but the idea of you two smiling over something he cannot do (or at least does not come as naturally to him) is unnerving.

✧ Aragorn tries not to hover over you when this happens and instead focuses on something more productive, like trying to teach the hobbits how to spar.

✧ It isn’t until you and Elrohir come to the training ground, clearly looking to train together, that he finally does something about his jealousy.

✧ “Brother! I have sparred with the hobbits for so long I worry they are growing used to me, would you care to make sure they are prepared against more enemies than just the Dúnedain.”

✧ By the smile that suddenly shows on Elrohir’s face, his sibling can see through him, but the son of Elrond doesn’t complain as he goes to the hobbits. Instead he steps aside to allow you and Aragorn to spar.

✧ It’s only after the spar that Elrohir makes a comment. “Jealous of me, Estel? That really isn’t very noble of you.”

✧ (It’s also probably not noble when Aragorn kicks him in the shin after, although it is satisfying).

𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐬

✧ Realistically, Legolas knows that you don’t have any interest in Boromir. You’ve been around him long enough that the two of you would already have formed a romantic bond, and the two of you haven’t.

✧ But you also share bonds that he hasn’t got. The two of you are both from Gondor, and there’s a light in your eyes when you talk about your home that he will never fully get. And the two of you are both human.

✧ It never gets too bad, mostly manifesting in anxious looks between the two of you from far away and when no-one is watching.

✧ The only time it ever gets bad is when you and Boromir are both on the archery course together, attempting to outscore each other.

✧ Because that’s the thing that you two do together.

✧ He watches for a while, and eventually his feet take him to the archery course subconsciously. Announcing his presence by shooting an arrow from behind into your target, hitting a perfect bullseye.

✧ It’s petty, but he still lights up when you turn around and greet him - almost as if it’s just the two of you there.

✧ (Until you invite him to join yourself and Boromir.)

𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐨

✧ Frodo isn’t a very jealous person naturally, and it’s this lack of jealousy is only reinforced when he’s one of the only people you talk to in the Shire.

✧ As you visit more often you eventually interact more with other hobbits, even if it’s just a dipped head or a few words, but everyone knows you're just here for the Baggins' family.

✧ (Although Frodo is very happy when you immediately bond with Sam, and that Pippin and Merry can make you laugh easily.)

✧ The only issue arises when a fellow ranger greets you, showing up on one of your walks together and immediately trying to hijack the conversation.

✧ It’s a little intimidating, more because of the height than anything else, and Frodo is reduced to stewing in the corner of the Green Dragon as you two catch up.

✧ When you step away to get a new drink, it’s just Frodo and the ranger there as he tries to channel Bilbo’s inner pettiness.

✧ “I’m very sorry, but I fear I’ve forgotten your name. Hobbits meet so many people, you see, and I don’t think (y/n)’s ever mentioned you.”

✧ You come back before anything else is said, and this time Frodo launches into conversation with you. He feels a little bad about the incident afterwards, but not enough to try and apologise.

𝐒𝐚𝐦

✧ Sam also isn’t a very jealous person, at least not when it comes to the people that he’s close with and them being around you.

✧ He’s glad when you can smile and laugh with his friends or with yours, because it shows you have people who care about you - and that’s what he really wants for you. People who care (like him).

✧ What he takes issue with is flirting and messing around from strangers who neither of you know.

✧ Because they don’t have your best interests at heart.

✧ They’re looking at you and only seeing looks, they’re not seeing the smile you make when you see the first flowers bloom or Sam’s found a recipe for just the right amount of sweetness and you’re tasting it for the first time. They don’t actually like you.

✧ He’s still generally confined to glaring from across the room, but every now and then - when someone gets too rowdy - he’ll come over to you and place his arm around your shoulders.

✧ It’s more a show of protection to support you than it is being jealous, but a small part of his heart is happy when they stop trying to get with you because of him.

✧ Always apologises for it and asks if you’re ok after.

𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲

✧ Everyone in the Shire could tell that something was going on between the two of you - everyone.

✧ (In fact, it had been a lot of people’s rumour of choice yesterday. Which Pippin certainly made sure he heard about.)

✧ Which made it even more egregious when someone had started flirting with you the second Merry had gone to get you drinks.

✧ In about twenty seconds, someone had managed to weasel their way to your side and was very badly attempting to flirt with you.

✧ The second you saw Merry re-appear, you had looked from him to the random guy in an obvious ask for reinforcements.

✧ Coming over with a smile, Merry puts on his biggest grin and holds up the drink for you before taking a look at the person next to you.

✧ “I’m sorry, are you the one who’s been guiding them around all day and is paying for their drink?”

✧ He leaves it at that, although he could go on, and is quite satisfied to see them immediately go back to the corner of the bar.

✧ You thank him for helping you, and he only feels a little guilty about the selfish reasons he’s done it.

𝐏𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧

✧ Doesn’t get jealous about the Fellowship being around you. You’re all going on a quest to save Middle Earth together and it would be childish of him to be upset about you hanging out with the people you’re going to be travelling with for months.

✧ However, he does get a bit jealous when some of the elves of Rivendell speak to you, such as one of the tall dark haired ones whisking you away to discuss something.

✧ Not that he does anything or complains - because they’re all slightly terrifying. He just waits, patiently, then insists it was no bother to wait before cursing hobbit-politeness that doesn’t allow him to complain about his hosts.

✧ Merry notices his stewing, it’s very obvious when Pippin is just standing outside a doorway and impatiently tapping his foot.

✧ Pippin only actually stands up for himself once. The dark-haired approaches you two, twice in the same day, and this time he puts himself in front of you.

✧ “Actually, we were about to train together…. If you don’t mind of course, only this is a prior engagement and-”

✧ He ends up going on a bit of a tangent, unseeing of the fond smile on your face as you watch him, before he finishes awkwardly.

✧ Erestor lets you two go in peace, and the two of you quickly head out to train - you pretending not to notice Pippin’s blush.

𝐁𝐨𝐫��𝐦𝐢𝐫

✧ As custom with the rangers first day back in Minas Tirith, the taverns are soon filled with soldier’s of the White Tower - swordsmen and bowmen alike.

✧ You and him both end up in the same one, along with recruits from both sides. It’s tradition for the captain to cover the first round, and Boromir has deep enough pockets to fund it, so he gladly puts the coin down and takes drinks out himself.

✧ Looking around, he tries to spot you as a second ranger suddenly comes out with two drinks, one for you and one for him.

✧ It’s a small gesture, but one that he wanted to make for you. A gesture that he wanted to make you smile with, not for a random soldier to brighten your day.

✧ Taking the drink you smile before seeing Boromir, raising your glass to him and mouthing he can’t quite make out.

✧ He gives the drinks away as quickly as possible, going up to you - his heart skipping a beat as you immediately move up for him, gesturing to a spot by your side.

✧ The gesture instantly warms his heart, almost enough for him to forget about the perceived slight, and the warm atmosphere that soon takes over everything is more than enough to keep the rest of the negativity at bay.

✧ (Him being close to you for the rest of the night certainly helps, too.)

𝐅𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐫

✧ In all honesty, there’s such a small period between you knowing each other and you starting to court that there really isn’t that much for him to be jealous over.

✧ Except when he learns of your potential betrothal to his brother.

✧ It’s never been a tradition his fond of, Gondor’s hopefuls giving away their children to the stewards, but it’s something he’s endured. Faramir knows his brother will never find someone this way.

✧ Until you are a candidate. Because who would not choose you, if they had a chance for your hand?

✧ He certainly would, and he expects Boromir too as well. He watches as, for another time in his life, he is forced to be on the sidelines even as his new love is a few feet from him.

✧ When Boromir greets you, it takes Faramir biting down on the inside of his cheek - only enough to distract - so that his disappointment and jealousy will not show.

✧ Faramir now envies little for his brother, but when your heart is involved it becomes fiercer than ever.

✧ (The insecurity of him being almost convinced that people will always choose Boromir over him does not help with these emotions either.)

𝐄𝐨𝐰𝐲𝐧

✧ As the dawn has finally risen on Helm’s Deep, and the noises of war no longer echo in the gorge, Éowyn is finally allowed to leave the cave and search for her loved ones. She is delighted to see all her loved ones alive, and Éomer’s return, and it is even better when the Golden Hall is decorated for celebration.

✧ When you all return from Isengard she is the first to greet you, and you gladly keep to her company once you dismount.

✧ It is not you leaving her that makes her jealous, but rather the large amount of Rohirrim who suddenly seem interested in one of the heroes of Helm’s Deep.

✧ She supposes a potential future ruler of Gondor must have good diplomacy, but she wishes you wouldn’t extend it to practically everyone in this hall who’s only looking for a quick flirt.

✧ Eventually, as yet another person fills the gap she takes their place, offering you a drink from the Cup of Kings. You take it, drinking a sip before meeting her eyes and whispering for her to not go and to protect you from yet another person.

✧ Éowyn gladly agrees, intervening when other people try to speak as soon as you glance her way, and the rest of the night is spent with you.

✧ (Also supports whatever decision you make when Éomer asks if you’ll join the drinking game. Either a loyal defender of your right not to drink, or the best support-woman you ask for.)

𝐄𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐫

✧ Even when pining for you, when in some ways it hurts him to be near you - reminding him of his love - he still goes to your training sessions, cheering just as loudly.

✧ He can more easily recognise the way his heart flutters in joy when you look for him in the corner of the room, and how quickly he smiles when all you do is acknowledge him.

✧ And then one day, he can feel your eyes on him, the smile you get when you notice him, before your eyes slip away and search for someone else.

✧ Éomer knows he should expect this, that there are other people you care for, but it’s like being plunged into cold water.

✧ Following your line of sight, he sees when your eyes light up again and immediately tries to determine who’s making you smile like that.

✧ It’s his sister, of course.

✧ The worry leaves him immediately, replaced by embarrassment. Even more so when Éowyn notices him staring before looking between you and him, a knowing smile on her face.

𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐝

✧ He understands it’s your job to be decently polite to people, when they aren’t actively breaking the law, so doesn’t mind when you're nice and friendly with people. In fact, he quite likes it and it helps reassure him you’re the right person for him.

✧ However, he’s been on one to many night shifts where some of the residents have gotten too drunk.

✧ Knows you can handle it, but doesn’t think that you should have to handle it.

✧ Tries to let you deal with them but is certainly hovering there ominously in the background, ready to be backup should you need any backup.

✧ However, as he can see a man try to approach you during the festival, Bard decides he’s finally had enough for tonight. Tonight was supposed to be the two of you.

✧ As he gets closer, Bard simply puts a hand on his shoulder - firm enough to stop him in his tracks.

✧ He can feel the man tense up but just speaks quietly to him, a tone of forced politeness.

✧ “I assure you, they're busy.”

✧ You turn in time to see the man take hasty steps backward while Bard looks a little too pleased to be innocent, but when you tilt your head in question he just grins.

✧ Deciding to run with the string of luck, you don’t chase him further; you simply accept what’s happened and spend practically the rest of the night with him.

𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐮𝐢𝐥

✧ Thranduil does not see it as jealousy, because jealousy implies that he is unstable. Jealousy implies he has a genuine belief that you would be interested in any of the elves that give a passing smile to you.

✧ If he had to pick a word, he would choose protective. In actuality it’s closer to ‘possessive’ but you aren’t his - not yet at least - and therefore he has nothing to possess.

✧ He does, however, have plenty to protect.

✧ Making sure never to abuse his powers, he understands that you make your own choices, he will occasionally keep an eye on things.

✧ It’s only ever subtle shifts, like the overly flirty elf you were complaining about in your talks being transferred from his doors and into a regular guard patrol. He sees your slightly lighter step, and hears no words of complaints from you.

✧ Is fine with you having relationships (such as friendships) that you’d appear to be closer to - simply because they are your friend and he is your king. Until he can truly bridge that gap, there will always be some level of formality between you two.

✧ (That doesn’t stop him from wishing you could be that comfortable around him, however. The fact he wishes for the friendly touch or wider grin you give to others.)

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐥

✧ Becoming part of the royal guard is, for the most part, exactly what Tauriel had dreamed of for both herself and for you.

✧ There are a few things she would change, of course, like the two of you being able to spend more time together - but these are minor things.

✧ Then there’s the minor thing of Caraitur, an elf that you patrol with. Tauriel knows that he doesn’t actually mean anything with his flirting, but he still annoys her. The way he tries to hold the door open for you, or smiles at you.

✧ Doesn’t confront him but is actively petty. If she’s on any duty regarding taking care of helmets or weapons his are always not quite shiny. Perfectly functional, but something looks off about them.

✧ Always enjoys being very affectionate with you afterwards, hugs and lots of smiles. (Sitting right next to you while sending a smirk at him.)

✧ ✧ She’s careful to make sure none of what she does can be traced back to her, but that doesn’t mean she can’t still reap her reward.

✧ You’ll ask her why she’s smiling and she comes up with either the most nonsensical answers you’ve ever heard or just say ‘you’.

𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐫

✧ Lindir had always been very grateful for his elven qualities, and never considered the fact he was an elf to be anything less than a gift.

✧ Except for certain aspects when it comes to you. There are the more unpleasant aspects, of course, but also simpler ones that in some ways annoy him more.

✧ Like the fact he will never be able to bond with you over certain things that are small to some people (like the crunching of snow effortlessly beneath your feet), and deeper meanings.

✧ To him, you seem to light up more when around the race of men. Like how you are doing with Aragorn, the king’s heir, back to briefly visit Imladris.

✧ He’s not naturally a confrontational person, so prefers to try and ignore his envy while stealing glances from the two of you from afar. Trying to convince himself he isn’t seeing you laughing with so much mirth, or smiling so widely.

✧ Eventually, he can’t take it any more. Spying the two of you in the gardens, Lindir also moves to go there - running into the two of you with a deep bow.

✧ Careful not to stutter with his words, or allow his blush to show, he asks if he may walk with you soon as the two of you have been more distant lately.

✧ His heart is lifted almost immeasurably when he asks you to walk with him now, leaving the human behind to be with him. And seeing you smile and laugh with him, it alleviates his worries very well indeed.

𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐫

✧ To be entirely honest, there isn’t anyone he truly feels jealous of - at any point in time when you aren’t courting.

✧ He understands that you are travelling with the Fellowship because of your duty to protect Middle Earth, and he’s glad you get along well with your companions.

✧ When the two of you are out on patrol he gets to know you more as you speak of them to him, and tell him about your thoughts.

✧ That you speak fondly of the hobbits, but in a familial way - as though they were younger siblings, or at the least ones to be protected (and not romantically interested in).

✧ Although you are more tolerant of the dwarf than he may have liked, Haldir recognises the annoyed-but-affectionate tone you employ about him to be one of friendship.

✧ He fears not for either of the men, as one is in love with an elf already and one is in love with his city.

✧ Haldir is still protective of you, trying to spend as much time with you as he can while you are in his realm, but he is assured enough to never be jealous of anyone - only the time you spend with them.

✧ Even that he can understand, and he combats these feelings by simply asking you to join him on patrol.

𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐧

✧ Elladan knows he should not be jealous of his own brother, especially when his own brother is doing this very deliberately to make him jealous.

✧ But, now that Elladan has finally come to a realisation about his feelings, he knows that he wants to be the one with his arms around you.

✧ He knows that he wants to be the one to make you smile. He knows that he wants to be the one who makes you laugh. He knows that he wants to be the one for you.

✧ And he certainly does not need his brother to give him a ‘helpful nudge’, thank you very much.

✧ Elrohir gets slightly closer to you, and Elladan finally comes out of his hiding place and coughs to announce his presence.

✧ Trying not to smile too obviously when you brighten, he pretends to be entirely innocent before asking if he can join the two of you.

✧ You agree quickly, and Elrohir feigns annoyance before suddenly remembering something important to leave the two of you alone.

✧ As Elrohir leaves Elladan can see him mouth ‘good luck’ before winking.

✧ Unfortunately, you don’t see that part. You just see Elladan mouthing ‘bastard’ back. It still makes you laugh.

𝐄𝐥𝐫𝐨𝐡𝐢𝐫

✧ Of all the elven figures, Elrohir is by far the most jealous. And also the most irrational with his jealousy.

✧ For him, it isn’t about who or even what you’re spending your time with, just that it’s so much more than him. And that he wants you to look at him with love in your eyes, of any kind.

✧ As you pour over more paperwork regarding Gondor for the fifth hour that night, he lets out a despairing groan that matches the look in your eyes.

✧ “Oh come on darling, will Gondor truly collapse if you take a little break? I’m going to break if you keep ignoring me.”

✧ Looking up, you give him a small smile before going back to… Gondor’s agricultural imports regarding fruits of Rohan.

✧ With a grin, he makes sure to be gentle before whisking the paperwork away from you. “We can make someone else do it. Faramir would be happy to help his twin out, or we can bully my brother-”

✧ You make a swipe for the paperwork, but he can tell your heart isn’t in it which only increases his grin. Pulling you up, he instantly begins to get you out of the door and into your city.

✧ He reasons it might be nice to see what your city looks like again after only seeing it in official documents, but both of you know it’s simply a poor excuse to spend time with you.

A/N : Hope you enjoyed! Next update is the confessions, so we're finally getting completely romantic. Also, if the writing is different then it's because this was written at 8am, 2pm, and 9pm respectively... so. Also - I now have a taglist! (feel free to fill out the form if you want to be tagged)

« first scenario, previous scenario, next scenario, masterlist » wish to be tagged?

[dreamjoymemoir]

raising a family with him

(cw: brief mention of pregnancy, but gender-neutral reader)

-anaxagoras is not exactly someone who would be described as "good with kids," but he treats them well in his own way. he respects their intelligence and agency and speaks to them like adults while keeping in mind that their brains are still developing; there's no need for him to be overly harsh with them, they are simply learning. he too was once a curious child scorned and ridiculed by adults. when he thinks back to those memories, he scoffs and tells himself that he would never be so cold-hearted.

-so this is my pitch that he would be a great father. he's very well-informed from the day you tell him you're expecting or when the two of you decide to adopt a child. as a naturally curious person, he reads all the books he can get his hands on about the process of child development and rearing; hell, he might even start writing his own books if he's not satisfied with the current knowledge. if something is to be done right then it obviously has to be done by himself!

-anaxagoras is already used to running on odd hours and little sleep, so it doesn't particularly bother him that having a baby in the house means that neither of you will be sleeping much for a while. when you wake up dazed in the middle of the night to the sound of crying, he's already out of bed and telling you to go back to sleep while he goes to check on your little one. you ask if the noise bothers him, and he just chuckles and shakes his head.

"a vigorous child is something to be cherished. who am i to say that they cannot assert their opinions at such a young age?"

-he is so cute. it goes without saying that your child's bedroom is filled with soft dromas toys of many kinds, from plushies to board books, and they grow up with an appreciation for amphoreus' humble creatures. being a teacher means that anaxagoras is always trying to enrich his kid's mind and teach them new things, but he also knows that having fun is important too; he follows whatever your child is interested in and indulges those interests wherever possible. he probably crafts a few toys himself just because he can.

-he hasn't forgotten the warmth of his big sister and the hospitality of his hometown, and he's just as kind and selfless to his child as he remembers how he was cared for. this new family is an invaluable gift that he never takes for granted. as long as you are happy and your child is raised well and safely, he'll drink more coffee, excuse himself from lectures, and endure the trials of parenthood with his usual nonchalance and lunacy.

[thehistoriccemetery]

Heya 👋 I enjoy reading your headcanons, and I love your prompts… could you write the ladies for #5 Tav fainting from a hidden injury?

Tav Faints Due to Hidden Injury

Hey! I always enjoy reading yours as well! Feel free to use any of those prompts as I’d love to see your take on them.

I probably won’t do anything more injury prompts for a while; there’s only so many ways I can hurt poor Tav.

Here’s prompt #5 for Shadowheart, Lae’zel, Karlach, and Minthara.

On the way into Baldur’s Gate, while all of your companions watch the lands free themselves of the shadow curse, you manage to walk carelessly into a broken cart handle. You’re no healer, but you know Shadowheart is going to have a thing or two to say if you ask her to patch it up. You decide it doesn’t look that bad, and patch it up yourself. It’s an exciting day, finally arriving in the city. Why bring down the mood with a fresh gash in the side?

Shadowheart

The two of you are taking a short walk to familiarize yourselves with the new camp at Wrym’s Lookout.

You had been trying to keep your cool, but as you climbed up ladders and dodged rumble, you felt the ache in your side start to grow.

You stop and lean against a beam for support, clutching your side and breathing heavily.

“Are you alright, love?” Shadowheart asks tenderly, approaching you slowly before you quickly collapse on the ground.

She rushes over, trying and failing to catch you. She rolls you over on your back, lifting your shirt.

She sees the makeshift bandages you’ve wrapped yourself in and carefully slices away at them with her dagger.

She flinches, seeing the deep gash in your skin. Luckily, you just happen to be in love with one of the best clerics around. A cure wounds spell patches you right up.

You wake up almost immediately to a very unhappy looking Shadowheart.

“Care to explain the massive laceration I just found under your shirt?” She quips. “Or, are we just withholding such information with one another these days.”

“You’re one to talk about withholding information,” you attempt to joke.

She does not laugh. “So I suppose you’ve just forgotten how you acquired such a wound?”

You sighed. “It was on the bridge on the way over. I-I impaled myself with a piece of wood.”

She hits the back of your head with the back of her hand. “Ow!” You shout.

“It would’ve taken me two seconds to heal that wound up fresh. Now you’ve probably got a variety of different diseases swimming around from how poorly you packed it.”

She reaches out a hand to help you to your feet. “Let’s go,” she says. “I’m going to teach you how to properly wrap a wound.”

Lae’zel

You and Lae’zel walk alongside the city walls, just outside the city. Looking for clear signs of damage from the Netherbrain.

She comments a few times on how you are moving slower than usual. “We cannot afford to be so sluggish in the days to come,” she tells you.

It isn’t until you fade paler than Vlaakith herself that she notices something is seriously wrong. You fall to the ground before she can think to catch you.

She notices blood beginning to speckle your undershirt. “Tsk’va!” She curses, cutting away the fabric entirely.

You’re too far from camp and losing too much blood for her to get you back in time. She’s going to have to deal with this herself.

But she couldn’t tell you the first thing about closing a wound.

Hair. She remembers a ghustil sewing her up with a strand of her own hair. She plucks a hair from your head and gets to work.

You wake up halfway through the delicate operation, half crying from the pain of the repeated rough stabbing of your already tender wound.

“Silence!” She shouts, lazer focused on the task at hand. It doesn’t take a psionic tadpole connection to tell that she is angry.

When she’s finally finished, the wound looks… unpleasant to put it mildly. But it should be enough to get you back to camp.

“I didn’t think I needed to explain to you the stupidity of hiding grave afflictions,” she spits.

You open your mouth to apologize, but she cuts you off. “I will not hear apologies, only promises that it will not happen again.”

Karlach

Growing up on the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate, Karlach is all too excited to revisit some of her favorite places with you.

Her excitement makes for an easy distraction. She is so focused on her surroundings she doesn’t notice the way you grind your teeth together in pain.

“Hey Soldier, check this out,” she shouts excitedly, walking back towards you with some cool plants she found.

You try to smile, but whiteness clouds your vision as you fall to the ground. She drops the plant and runs to hold you up.

“Soldier? You know you’re not supposed to go and pass out on me. I don’t know how to…”

Panic starts to rise in her chest and she lays you gently on the ground. “Alright Karlach, you got this,” she assures herself.

She lifts the base of your shirt, starting to panic again when she sees the blood soaked bandages.

She gingerly removes them revealing the nasty gash underneath. “Oh boy, you really did a number on yourself,” she says.

She looks around, trying to find absolutely anything that could close the wound. She didn’t know any spells, nor did she know anything about sutures.

She sighed. She had an idea, but she didn’t like it. “Okay soldier, I’m just gonna need you to stay asleep for a little while longer. Can you do that for me?”

Dammon had fixed up her engine so she didn’t burn so hot anymore, but she was pretty sure she could just get hot enough….

She pinched the wound together, then, with clenched teeth, she placed her other hand on top of it. She channeled all of her anger until she smelt the burning of flesh.

You jolted awake with a scream and she pulled away. The wound was now replaced with a cauterized burn.

“It worked! You’re okay!” She exclaimed, rather impressed with herself. “You are never allowed to do that to me again.”

You groan, sitting up. Your head is still spinning from pain and blood loss. You sway ever so slightly.

“Woah, slow down there soldier,” Karlach says, gently pushing you back to lie down. “Again does include right now, you know. Come on. Let’s get you back to camp.”

Minthara

You and Minthara take a stroll around the outer city, allowing her to take in a surface city for the first time.

Not far into your walk though, you begin to feel lightheaded. “Minthara I think I need to sit-“ you are cut off abruptly by your own collapse.

You fall limp onto the cobblestone on the city streets.

She is quickly down beside, cooling your face with her cool hands. It’s only then she notices the bloody bandages under your shirt.

Confused, she cuts away with them away, revealing your injury.

Her face immediately pales. The wound is mild, nothing she is incapable of handling with a simple laying of hand. But you kept this from her.

She patches the wound with a gentle touch. But her mind continues to race. Why would you not tell her? Do you not trust her? Should she trust you?

You stir awake with a whine. The pain in your side is dulled, and you’re able to sit up with relative ease.

Minthara stares harshly back at you, silently awaiting an explanation. When you don’t offer one she asks, “why have you kept this from me?” She tries to hide her hurt behind anger.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize. “It’s just- I knew you were excited to see the city- and it was a stupid injury anyway I just- I didn’t want to be a bother.“

She looks dissatisfied with your answer. “We do not keep such grave secrets from one another. My trust is a fragile thing.”

You sigh, defeated. “I know. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

[sister-lucifer]

Taken To Another World 

⊹₊⟡⋆A Multifandom Fantasy AU Themed 5K Celebration Writing Challenge⊹₊⟡⋆

Special thanks to @ghostboneswrites2 for inspiring this! 

Interested? Keep reading! 

There will be two prompts for each genre; a pair for fluff, a pair for smut, a pair for angst, and a pair for horror. Each prompt comes with its own criteria, so read carefully! 

How To Participate: 

Reblog this post (for reach! thanks!) 

Pick a prompt (or multiple) 

Write your fic 

Post it and tag me (feel free to send it to me directly if I don’t see it!) 

Use the tag #lucifer’s 5k fantasy challenge 

The fandoms this challenge is open to are as follows: 

Obey Me!, Creepypasta, Marble Hornets, Batman (and all related media), Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure (all parts), and any original characters/universes.

Don’t see your fandom? You’re still free to use these prompts (and please tag me if you do so I can see it,) but it unfortunately will not count as an entry for this challenge!

Rules: 

Feel free to pick multiple prompts, but you cannot enter more than one fic per prompt! 

The fics can be part of your own ongoing series, but they must be able to stand alone as their own piece without the additional context of the series 

Please state which prompt you chose somewhere on your post 

Feel free to cross post your work to another site such as Ao3, but please, do mention that it was part of my challenge 

Anyone can participate in this challenge, however I ask that minors stay away from the NSFW prompts 

You are free to bend the prompts as you wish, there is no mandatory time period or setting 

My inbox and messages are always open if you need to ask questions, consult me, or just want to discuss ideas!

The fics can be Character x Reader, Character x OC, or Character x Character; relationships can be platonic or romantic as you wish

Some prompts are written with pairs in mind; feel free to modify this to fit in as many characters as you’d like. Poly relationships included!

Absolutely NO incest OR pedophilia under any circumstances 

NO AI, NO using other people’s writing, and NO using a piece you’ve already written

Pay attention to the criteria! Prompt 1 will have a required quote, and Prompt 2 will have a required plot point/action

The Deadline is currently undecided. This will be updated soon 

Winners: 

I will choose up to 3 finalists for each prompt.  The finalists will be presented in a poll, and the readers will choose the winner. 

The winner of each prompt will get their own shoutout/promo post including an analysis of what I liked about their fic, & at least 3 fics I recommend from them and why. 

Does all that sound like fun? Good! Here’s your prompts:

Over The River, Through The Woods…

Fluff + Faeries

Prompt 1:  In a fit of rebellion, a naive royal flees from the castle and into the woods. They stumble upon a faerie who, against all they’ve ever been taught, seems rather…kind. 

Necessary Criteria: “Anyone can do a good thing if they try.” / “Well…how often do you try?”

Prompt 2: Fae don’t often leave their villages, except to gather. Unfortunately, one foolish faerie has found themself entangled in a trap left behind by a human hunter. Even worse, the human has returned to see what they’ve caught; although, they seem far more curious than hostile. 

Necessary Criteria: One of the characters teaches the other a new word in their native tongue. 

Magic Begins In Superstition, And Ends In Science…

Angst + Alchemy 

Prompt 1: The job of an alchemist’s apprentice is rarely an easy one. Magic is a fickle mistress, after all. When the apprentice’s companion tries to pull them away from their work, the argument gets heated, until the pressure becomes too much and causes an intense explosion…literally. 

Necessary Criteria: “You’re not even smart enough to understand what I do, and you think you get to tell me when to stop working?!”

Prompt 2: The alchemist’s work is starting to consume them. Blinded by their pursuit of knowledge, they recklessly decide to slip a bit of their newest experimental concoction into their companion’s meal without their knowledge. The alchemist convinces themselves this is all for the greater good, and surely nothing all that bad could happen, but soon comes to regret it. 

Necessary Criteria: A horrible transformation. 

The Tongue May Be Twice As Sharp And Thrice As Lethal As The Blade…

Smut + Swords 

Prompt 1: A rivalry between two swordsman gets a bit out of hand when the pair decide to make a salacious bet over a duel: whoever loses must play submissive to the other, starting from the moment they drop their sword. 

Necessary Criteria: “Don’t think I’ll surrender that easily.” / “Mm, I didn’t think you would…I like it so much more when you’re fiery.”

Prompt 2: A courageous knight rescues a royal from the clutches of peril, and their majesty simply can’t let their hero leave without thoroughly rewarding them for such bravery. 

Necessary Criteria: The pair narrowly avoid being caught in the act. 

Cursed Is The Man Who Dies, But The Evil Done By Him Survives…

Horror + Hexes

Prompt 1: Foolish explorers accidentally wander into a witch’s garden. One of them can’t resist plucking a berry from a bush, not giving it a second thought as they swallow it down, only for the horrific consequences of a curse to start taking form the next day. 

Necessary Criteria: “Please…you have to tell me you know how to make this stop.” 

Prompt 2: While treasure hoarding is generally frowned upon among honorable bounty hunters, some simply can’t kick the habit. This quickly proves to be a terrible mistake, though, as a cursed trinket starts to warp its owner’s mind and plunge them into a darkness that turns them on the one they love most. 

Necessary Criteria: Creative use of an everyday object as a weapon. 

Final Reminders:

Most importantly: Have Fun! 

Make sure to read the rules carefully! 

You’re always free to ask questions! 

Tag me in your entry + use the tag #lucifer’s 5k fantasy challenge! 

Happy Writing, everyone!

(even if you don’t plan to participate, please reblog and share this post so others will see it!)

[multifunctionalnitroglycerin]

The Radiant Dawn, Leona of the Solari – an analysis

Leona, Leona, what to do with you, oh Radiant Dawn, daughter of the Sun-forgers? You who scorn love so, in the face of duty?

What with the latest season of Arcane having fully come out, and many of us still grasping to comprehend the ending of that wonderful series (I will maintain that it’s probably one of the best pieces of media I have ever had the joy of consuming), I got to thinking about another military dictator that leads a scourge against her lover’s people. So, strap in and grab your drinks, cause this is going to be a long one.

I have seen some funny posts juxtapositioning Violyn/ Caitvi and Leodia, and while one cannot deny the first glance similarities in the stories, especially with the new route Piltover’s finest took, the premise of their stories is at its core different.  BUT today we will not explore the similarities and differences in the premise of the broader systems that both stories take place in, but rather take a deeper look into our beloved obstacle of a Targonian “cult leader”, Leona.

            Now Leona’s character in league is rather…unremarkable at first glance. More of an obstacle than a worthy adversary, a mindless cultist that perpetuates the oppression against her peoples’ sister tribe, too blind to see past that, even when her lover begs her to. Personally, I prefer to think of Leona as an unremarkable character with remarkable potential, should Riot decide to ever do anything with it. The roots of a good story have already been planted. Because yes, in Arcane we also talked about oppression, class stratification, abuse of power, and a twisted corrupt judicial system, but now, in Targon, we’ll talk about cults.

I am no expert, but cultism and totalitarian regimes do have a few common points in the way they function, thus the perceived similarities between the two storylines. However, I feel in the hands of capable writers the Targonian storyline can become a beautiful story about religious fanatism, and cultism, the struggle of individuality, and how challenging it is to escape from them, if at all… (I do like some tragic lesbians, sue me. A happy ending that does justice to the inherent tragedy of those two will have to be earned, and if a tragic ending is what does them justice, I will accept it.)

It’s high time we got this party started though, isn’t it?

Leona is born in the Solari tribe of Targon, a tribe that venerated the Sun more than any other upon the mountain. Which at first glance seems innocent enough, right?

Cults in principle, and to my limited understanding, are authoritarian systems that revolve around a particular belief, that have rules and dogma and encourage their members to isolate themselves from would-be questioners of their faith. By taking a look at what we know about the Solari, most of these terms seem to be fulfilled. An authoritarian system based around the worship of the Sun, with strict rules, rigid principles, and rituals, led not by one charismatic leader, as many cults are, but by a council of elders, that determine what is acceptable and what not in Her worship. While they also take care to mindfully curate the available information in the temple and discourage or silence those that oppose their teachings.

Leona is a child born to the Sun-forgers Melia and Iasur, and takes to her parents’ faith with a stride, comfortable in its rigidity and its unrelenting structures. She is reportedly as seen both through her bio and the letter to her parents in “Rise with me”, a near perfect acolyte, her devotion, and excellence in seemingly everything but that one oration class, inspiring envy in her peers, and admiration in her elders, all of them certain that she would one day become a Ra’Horak, a holy warrior of the Solari.

The thing is, that children growing up in cults are a tricky thing to write despite its supposed straightforwardness. Especially if you want to create a character as complicated as I hope Leona will turn out to be. The basics of it are things we already know; children are extremely vulnerable to adult influence; their minds are sponges and their parents’ world is their world. They listen, observe and absorb the behavior, the views and opinions of the people around them, and accept them as reality, because they are children and do not know any better. As one might imagine, the extent of fanatism that Leona grew up with is variable, depending on how her own parents acted and how deep in they were themselves. Now I am a bit rusty on Rakori and Targonian lore, but if we take the short story “Rise with me” into account, I think it is safe to say that Melia and Iasur were in pretty deep.

Another thing to note about children that grow up in cults is that the cult leader and the cult’s needs come first. Which means that the child rarely enjoys their parents’ attention, much less love and affection. Something that in my humble opinion would drive some of them to strive for perfection and trying to satisfy their parents’ every wish and every whim, in hope of getting even a hint of affection. That is something we can see rather clearly in the story if we want to examine a bit Leona’s relationship with her Dayblessed parents.

Before we dive into that, however, what we can summarize from all of the above is that Leona is, in principle, a person that likes rules. Someone that grew up heeding them. That thrives in hierarchical systems, and well-structured environments, with clear denominations for right and wrong, for what one should and should not do. According to the bio this rigidity brings her comfort, and solace. Because it is familiar and comfortable. It’s what in all probability she grew up with. Moreover, Leona is a perfectionist. Something we are told, through her bio, and her own letters and diary, but we can also see when looking at her through the lens of Diana’s eyes.

To continue with my previous point, though, when looking at her relationship with her parents…well, I’ll let you figure this out on your own. We only have her diary entries and letters sent and unsent to garner information from, but that is enough to paint a detailed enough picture of what her relationship with her parents entails. Even without looking at it from the “child that grew up in a cult” angle, we can see there is little affection between them. Even from her first letter, we can feel the clean-cut, prim and proper courteousness of their communication, accompanied by the hints of affection every child holds for their parents. It is, however, far from warm, or heartfelt. It seems more like kind interest, than any real investment, in her parents’ or siblings’ wellbeing and then proceeds to become a report on her achievements and perceived weaknesses. Even the title of the section, the opening of the letter, “Letter from a devoted daughter” holds no personality, as if Leona’s entire being can be compressed and described by those two words.

We do get a similar impression from the letter Polymnius sent to Melia and Iasur. The letter itself contains the priest’s thanks for the new lanternglass crafted by the sun-forger, and also devolves to a report of Leona’s progress after his communication with all of her instructors, and his observation of her skills in battle. Now on the one hand, Polymnius could be just a family friend or the priest responsible for communicating with the acolytes’ families. On the other hand however, one might start questioning just how much control Leona’s parents can exert over her life, even in their absence. Do they hold sway with the priesthood? Are their immense expectations passed on through priests and teachers, adding more and more to the pressure Leona faces every day? To be strong, devout, worthy and good? And again, the letter ends with  “I know you would be proud.” I am sure they would Polymnius, I am sure they would.

            At this point I’d like to point out that he is probably the only person that worries that Leona is taking her duties far too seriously and needs to take a few steps back to relax and delight in the Sun’s gifts. (And honestly, same.)

Moving forward we have the Letter from Sunsworn Priestess Nemyah to a shining pupil, that once more applauds Leona for her achievements, with little to no fanfare. And again we note that sense of depersonalization, of Leona being defined by those characterizations, by her achievements, her rights and wrongs. 

            And then of course we get into the fight between Leona and Diana and the disciplinary letter sent to her by her parents. Which honestly goes about as well as you would expect,

We know that you are capable of better and expect you to rise to the occasion. Leaders in Her Light do not run into impediments that they cannot overcome, nor do they get hindered by such earthly mischief as “a shouting match at school.”

And of course

…will speak with you about how better to secure your future then.

So much for parental love… If anything, it’s a declaration of disappointment, with clear expectations and measures to be met, We know you are better than this, we expect you to be better than this, leaders do not fumble. Sounds particularly loving, doesn’t it? Definitely not like they worry about their reputation, and their image in the community more than their daughter’s wellbeing and most certainly not like they have her future already decided for her. A future they can benefit from, of course.

I will try to keep this at a reasonable length and will not overly analyze Leona’s own unsent replies, for they are pretty straightforward. They are characterized by Leona’s anxiety, fear and guilt for disappointing her parents and failing to reach the tremendous expectations they have set for her.

            So to sum this part up, Leona was raised by overly strict parents, in an environment in which she received little to no affection and positive reinforcement, even for her achievements that far exceeded those of her peers. She has also been burdened with a set of rather impossible expectations, that she strives to reach no matter what. We saw that Iasur and Melia are quick to discipline her and voice their disappointment, rather rancidly might I say, and yet made little to no mention of Leona’s multiple achievements that have been noted by multiple instructors as well as Polymnius. As for Leona herself, one might say she is afraid to be herself and express her own thoughts. Even when she writes a letter that truly encompasses her thoughts and feelings, in that same letter she resolutely states that she will not send it.

So insofar we have an affection-starved, rule-loving perfectionist, that probably hasn’t had any positive reinforcement since she was like 5 and has her parents and everyone around her connect and define her worth as a person though her personal achievements and services in Her light. It would be safe to assume that from a point on, Leona herself starts putting herself in those boxes, limiting her sense of self and worth to the glass ceiling of their expectations, adding more and more expectations on herself, back bending further and further back, until inevitably reaching her breaking point. And of course, this is all she has ever known. The rules, the hierarchy, the expectations, the dogma, is what she grew up with, is what feels familiar, and in a twisted sense, “right”.  We could thus somewhat explain why Leona holds her duty in such high regard. She has come to define herself and her worth as a person, through it. It’s all she has ever really known.

            Not to say that things are as bleak as they seem at first glance. For there is one shining light in Leona’s life, one guiding beacon that tries to break her out of the glass cage, at least at the point in time when Rise With Me takes place, and it is none other than Diana.

            Now, according to Leona’s bio, she saw in Diana an ever-curious spirit devoted to the search for meaning, and the truth, and that’s sth that holds up in the short story as well. Diana’s ingenuity and unique perspective of things, her being the one dissonant voice in the harmonious chorus of the elders’ teachings, intrigue young Leona.

When looking into the respective missives that Leona sends to Diana in respects of their shared oration class, starting from the first one even, we can see that despite all the greatness she has achieved, all her triumphs, and graces, she remains shy, and humble. Even knowing that she is amongst the best of her peers, and the priests’ favorites, she does not brag, does not demand, does not exert any power or control. Instead, she approaches her faults humbly and asks for Diana’s – the outcast’s - help in a respectful manner. She does not let her shortcomings define her or hinder her. She recognizes them as something to improve, and humbly asks for help from someone she believes she can benefit from, someone that will help, and not just shower her with mindless praise.  She recognizes Diana’s ingenuity and applauds her argument construction; while pledging to help her in return should Diana need assistance herself.

Leona is humble and kind. Though to a certain degree we might even consider her having a bit of a people pleasing attitude accompanied by a slight lack of confidence. Perfectionists as a rule hate making mistakes or seeming inadequate. It’s a big blow in their confidence and the sense of self they have constructed around the concept of said perfection. After living for so long in an environment of such heavy expectations, it’s no wonder one might start second-guessing themselves, no matter how good they are, even for the smallest of mistakes.

            Back to Leona though, she is humble, kind and considerate, perhaps even to a fault. There is this sense of her not wanting to impose on Diana’s schedule, on which she rather insists. She doesn’t want to be trouble, she does not want to be a burden, and of course she then offers her own help in return should it be needed, which is the decent and honorable thing to do.

            Leona’s diary entry where she considers asking Diana to the festival is what also gives us a glimpse of the person behind the armor, behind the rule abiding student, behind the mask of achievements and perfection. To no surprise, we get a more in depth perspective of Leona’s own thoughts and feelings, as long as her take on “how to ask the girl I like out without coming across like a total fool, or indoctrinating asshole?” She is anxious, thoughtful and tender, considerate and sweet in her approach, and a little bit hopeless, but I think we can forgive her. She is downright smitten and hasn’t realized how much just yet. She even goes through with one of her plans to ask Diana to practice with the shields, and well, forgive me if I say it is adorable.

            Diana’s presence in Leona’s life and story, however, is not important because the will-be Aspect of the Sun is absolutely smitten with her, or even because she encompasses the total opposite of what Leona is (which let’s be honest, she doesn’t. They are complimentary to one another, not opposites), but because Diana makes Leona think.

            That’s the reason Leona approached her in the first place, her ability to think and construct cohesive and compelling arguments. Something that Leona herself is lacking in, because alongside most of the other Solari acolytes, she lacks critical thinking. An essential component of trying to construct an argument of any sort - if you do not want to parrot something you learned in a book once.

            Diana’s arguments, thoughts and criticisms on their given materials have Leona thinking, examining what she is taught, and what she says in oration class herself. Diana teaches Leona how to think, she teaches her how to construct arguments, how to reinforce them, to find fallacies in arguments and counteract them. In her quest to learn how to defend her point, Leona starts learning how to look deeper into things, to examine their essence, and construct counterpoints. And we can see that she starts thinking about it, if only superficially. She doesn’t go full out critical thinking, or questioning everything she has ever known, it doesn’t work like that, but the seed has been planted.  “Why do you think I need to go deeper than that when it’s widely known already?” It’s not much but it is a start to the path of critical thinking.

And then after an undetermined amount of time, comes their shared ascension. And that’s where the discrepancies in the story start. Mind you the bio was written a few years before the short story came out, so the characterization obviously is not entirely in line with what we know.

            This Leona is one that debates with Diana still, but wants to persuade her not to look further into their faith, and just accept it as it is. At Diana’s sharing the secret of the alcove, Leona is a stone wall of resistance urging her friend away from the climb, afraid for her wellbeing should she inspire further ire from the Solari. When Diana inevitably climbs the mountain, and while her first instinct is to alert the elders, Leona resolves to help and protect her friend instead and follows after her into the night. Against all odds they manage to reach the peak, and she is wreathed in golden light, fighting tooth and nail to keep her sense of self intact. And she wins.

            At this point, I think we can all see the difference between bio-Leona and the Leona that the short story sets the foundations of. Obviously for the sake of storytelling and with some tweaking these two could co-exist as canon versions of Leona in different times of her life. We could potentially be talking about a tragic story about how religion and blind adherence to duty and tradition drive a wedge between two people that very much love each other. Or the bio could be a bit of a “historical account” of what happened, and Leona having had to care for Diana after her punishments one too many times puts up a wall of resistance, an ultimatum of the “I don’t want to lose you” kind.

            No matter the case, and despite of what Riot might decide to do to expand on their story, and either give us a critical thinking Leona, or a very good reason for not having a critical thinking Leona, the point is that Leona is incredibly loyal to those she cares about.

            And now comes the point of the ascension. The critical point in their story, where instead of going with Diana, and living their happily ever after away from the system that tortured them both, albeit in completely different manners, Leona chooses to stay.

            And I think sometimes when thinking about Leona, we do not always recognize that this is the point where everything is going down. This is the point where everything we have so far discussed comes into play. Because their ascension is a traumatic experience. One that upends everything Leona has ever known. The process of their ascension is traumatic, the very essence of it, bloody terrifying. Because it is a jump into the unknown. It challenges the truths that she has constructed her whole sense of self around, demolishes the very principles that she grew up enforcing.

            There is this interaction in Legends of Runeterra, where Diana urges Leona to understand that Day needs Night, referencing the visions they both saw upon Targon’s peak. And what does Leona reply? “Visions from memories not my own.”

            Full-blown denial. Not that I particularly blame her initial reaction. Because what is it that we have here? We have that affection-starved perfectionist that grew up in a cult, that wounded inner child that has come to tie her worth as a person to the degree of her personal achievements. We have that honorable, rule abiding, and duty loving person, a person that finds solace in strict structures and hierarchies, that thrives in them, thrown into absolute CHAOS.

You have Leona, that rule abiding idiot, that transcends her own limits that takes that one calculated risk to follow Diana and save her from the mountain’s clutches and ends up with watching a blast of divine light slamming into Diana. She goes to help, and before she can help a blast of divine light slams into her, filling her head with a second divine conscience, with visions and memories of other Sun Aspects, of times when truly the people of the mountain were united. And then the onslaught ends, and she faces a Diana different from the one she knows, a Diana dressed in the colors of the enemy.

            So Leona, bearing all of the characteristics we mentioned above, is bloody terrified out of her wits. She is faced with such terrifyingly foreign notions, with such stress, that what is she going to do? She regresses back to what she already knows. And what she knows are the elders and the Solari, and the priests, the rules, the scriptures, the dogma. In face of that terrifying truth she regresses back to the perceived safety of that toxic and unhealthy system -that on top of everything is a cult- that she grew up in.

            Now this brings forth this thought about ignorance. Because Leona is ignorant of the truth. She is, however, intimately familiar with the narrative she has grown up with. People are familiar with their ignorance, and oftentimes they choose to bear the ills of what they know than to fly to others that they know not of. And thus, they are cowards. (Hamlet anyone?)

Leona is a prime example of that. Instead of sitting down and considering the new information, the truth revealed, the unknown future ahead, she clings to her ignorance, to her half-knowledge of the story, because it is familiar, and safe. And she is bloody terrified of the new unknown that Diana proposes they follow.

Now that is not to say that everything we have discussed boils down to Leona is a coward. Though that is partly true. But she is also a kid that grew up in a system that fostered that kind of cowardice. She is someone that grew up in an environment of cultism and religious fanatism, and she grew up ingrained to it. Contrary to Diana as one might point out. And these are all things we need to take into account when handling a character like Leona, and care that we do not flatten such immense complexity of conditions and circumstances, such depth of thought and emotion to “brainless genocidal cultist”. 

(Now if you ask, why does Diana have critical thinking, why did she not get ingrained and lost in that system despite growing up in it for as long if not longer than Leona, what is it that makes her different from the other cult kids, I have absolutely no idea, but that’s not the point of this particular post.)

To finish this off, the point of this post is not to excuse Leona of all the horrible things she has done, or even to argue that she is not a genocidal cultist- she very much is, and the point is definitely not to say that it is not her fault and she was just a product of her circumstances. We all are products of the circumstances that surround us, but we are not passive participants in those conditions. No, the point is to try and understand where Leona might be coming from, and to demonstrate that even the simplest and most obtuse of character concepts can have an intricate and complicated story behind them.

If you did manage to reach the end of this, congratulations! Have a cookie and don’t forget to hydrate!

[lucifers-rubber-duck]

im back with more chaotic modern reader x hazbin crew... 👀👀

just imagine a reader who cannot take things seriously. like, oh you're sad? their response is either "not a slay" or "that didn't eat". oh Angel and Husk are having yet another argument and the rest of the hotel is tense (-Alastor)? reader just obnoxiously sips tea. oh Adam is going on his "I'm better than you all" rant during the fight? reader just obnoxiously chews popcorn.

A/N: I rewrote this a few times because I had too many ideas on what to do but didn't want it to be too long. Anyways, hope you enjoy Anon!

• You just don't get why people make such a fuss about stupid things, they're already in hell, what are they whining about? This place isn't even that bad, it is way different from what you were teached at least, you actually enjoy being here.

• You're not the most reliable person to go to when it comes to having a serious conversation, you just don't give two shits about anything, why should you? Does it really matter in this place, even if some demon gets angry at you, it's not like you can die again.

• You saw Charlie crying or just really stressed out about the hotel, you either tell her to suck it up or don't even bother engaging and go call Vaggie to deal with it, not your girlfriend, not your problem. Sir Pentious says his sinceres sorries to you? You tell him to go fuck himself and still gives him death stares for a week, he destroyed the wall Alastor made you clean up earlier that day and you hold grudges very easily.

• Husker and Angel are having a discussion? You're filming it and whispering “Fight fight fight” in the back, you'll take any drama that happens at the hotel. And when they come back all friendly and even being gross with each other you put your head on the bar's counter and let out a disappointed sigh; “You two are flirting now? For fuck sake, I can't have jackshit in this hotel can I?”

• Lucifer is coming to the Hotel? You cared at first, but then realized he was not as hot as you imagined the king of Hell would be and decided that you won't mind, you only really pay attention to when he and Alastor are fighting. Your eyes did tear up a little bit when Lucifer and Charlie solved things with each other but you won't ever say that out loud.

• When Vaggie finally revealed that she was a angel to everyone, you took it as the biggest gossip of the year instead of and actual emotional moment and did not understand why Charlie was so shocked at this information, like, c'mon, that shit was the best.

• When the final battle is close, the one that you can actually kill you for good, you don't get all emotional, your side has a army of cannibals, Alastor and the princess of Hell, why should you worry? Still, you find yourself drinking with your hotel mates the night before the fight, you find yourself talking happily to Charlie and Vaggie, telling Sir Pentious to just kiss Cherri Bomb already, you congratulate Angel and his future relationship with Husker which makes him laugh.

• This is Hell, you're here because you deserve it, but tomorrow is another day that no one can tell what happens so might as well enjoy it while it lasts, but you totally don't care about the hotel, yeah… Totally don't care.

[monbons]

WIP Wednesday

It's Wednesday somewhere, so I am posting early! Because what are rules? But also, I have real WIPS to share and both of them are so stinkin' cute and you really need to have them in your life. However, you do need to be caught up on two different fics to enjoy, so I've put everything below the cut.

To help you decide if you can peek, I am including a snip of Chapter 3 of Better Than This (my gift fic for @thewholelemon). I am also including doll art for @whogaveyoupermission's fic, The Tooth Fairy .

If you can't peek but would like some adorableness of the sexy and naked variety, may I recommend that you check out my EGF fic, Beautiful Things. Here are some more reader comments to convince you:

"Monica, I could cry. This... this did something to me... Your prose leaves poets weeping."

"arianna: excellent art as always! absolutely crushed your goal of smutty drawing!"

"Still. So. HOT. 🌶🌶"

SENTENCES I have been celebrating my friend-aversary with Jenny all week by posting the fluffiest story of all time. It's what she deserves, and honestly, what the boys deserve too.

Here is a quick preview of chapter 3, which will post later today. Jenny's even blocked off her work calendar to ensure she is free when the chapter drops!

Baz remembered it clearly. Their first night together. At home. Alone. There were no more night nurses to help change nappies or warm bottles. No experts to interpret Lucy’s tiny grunts and cries.  It was just them.  Simon and Baz and Lucy. They’d spent the last several hours in bed, Lucy draped across Simon’s chest as they whispered around her. Baz stroked the soft fuzz on her head, so sparse it merely hinted of bronze. A promise more than a color.

Did your heart just explode? Mine did.

STITCHES Since COC Day 20: Teeth, I have been obsessed with The Tooth Fairy. As always, the best dolls have the most distinct looks, so when Chapter 2 posted, I reached out to Amy to start plotting this absolute masterpiece.

Look at this sparkly and pink baby! Don't you love this Baz already? I just want to squeeze him! If you think he cannot get more beautiful and sparkly, you are wrong. I have so many plans for this gorgeous boy before we are done.

Ok. Enough from me. GO READ MY FICS! Leave a comment and you too can be a WIPSday celebrity!

@alexalexinii, @argumentativeantitheticalg, @aristocratic-otter, @arthurkko, @artsyunderstudy

@best--dress, @blackberrysummerblog, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @bookish-bogwitch,

@confused-bi-queer, @cutestkilla, @drowninginships, @emeryhall, @facewithoutheart

@harrie-leithillustration, @hushed-chorus, @iamamythologicalcreature, @ic3que3n, @ileadacharmedlife

@katatsumuli, @larkral, @letraspal, @martsonmars, @messofthejess

@mooncello, @noblecorgi, @orange-peony, @prettygoododds, @raenestee

@rbkzz, @rimeswithpurple, @roomwithanopenfire, @run-for-chamo-miles, @shrekgogurt

@skeedelvee, @stitchyqueer, @supercutedinosaurs, @talentpiper11, @technetiumai

@the-beard-of-edward-teach, @twinkle-twinkle-up-above, @theimpossibledemon, @thewholelemon, @valeffelees

@whatevertheweather, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @youarenevertooold

[dereks-unrelenting-heart]

SFTH Chaotic Highlights (The Meringue Haberdashery)

Part 2 of the longforms, here we go:

So first things first, when I heard this title I had to google the definition of haberdashery because both myself and my mom thought it was one of those words that basically meant nonsense. Apparently it doesn't even mean that in America so idk where we got that idea

"I teach you nothing, I only show you the way" Someone needs to tell Don Juan the definition of 'teach'

"I sewed the funeral suit, she looked better than when she was alive" Not the best time to be prideful of your work but go off I guess

"It was a difficult time, and I found myself, uhhhhhhhh-" Absolutely no one knew what was going on at any point in this entire play and I'll never get tired of the chaos that vibe created

God, there's so much to say about the fucked up flashback sequence- The confusion over whether the dead girl was Don's wife or child, AJ assuming Sam was playing Don's child self as opposed to the kid who died, Don Juan being continuously 'in the flow' while no one seemed to know wtf he was on about, the girl's name changing to Nikita, AJ stage slapping the shit out of Sam, and ofc the fucked up death of a needle going through the child's eye shown via Sam's brilliant stagecraft

Also I think "You can sew a waistcoat perfectly, but you cannot sew a narrative together" deserves its own bulletpoint, I love that line so much

"I've had a difficult life, Don Juan, and if you want to live it... Then go for it" Words of wisdom from Don Juan #1 there

Even in a brief moment, we really get to see the gears turning in Sam's head when hearing the word 'sopa', searching the 'Spanish vocabulary' section of his mind before confirming Luke is in fact talking about soup

"You ever wonder why you and him have the same name?" Luke bringing up the elephant in the room that will soon become a surprising plot point

"He has no ambition!" "He's had a rough year!" He's like damn, give my name twin a break, his daughter died in a really traumatic way, of course he's not alright

"For many years his daughter was alive and healthy! Yet the shop stayed the same size! W H Y ?" Luke's delivery on 'Why' is perfectly over-the-top, as always

The back and forth of the soup bit "Give me a spoon" "I gave you a spoon" "Oh. Well this spoon is shit, get me a better one-"

*insert Adam Driver 'good soup' meme*

This is just a question, but could anyone tell me what Luke says after Sam says "He could maybe find some closure, some religion, something else-" because I can't for the life of me understand, and the autogenerated captions completely gave up on it

"I am a very sexy man" - Tom, in every goddamn improvised play (unless of course, he's a very sexy woman instead)

Luke deciding to become a ghost/hallucination of Don Juan #1's dead daughter- I know she ends up being a ghost, but the first scene really has vibes of 'oh this man has PTSD' so idk what the original intentions were

Idk if it was Nikita's voice or the fact a customer had just stolen the store's bell for some reason, but Don Juan has lost his ability to form words! That shit wasn't even stuttering anymore, it was full-on, natural-sounding gibberish, like he was playing the translator game with a language that doesn't actually exist

"Don Juan.." "Yes, Don Juan?" Ah yes, the culmination of the joke I've been waiting for

Sam suggesting AJ already tried giving himself a lobotomy after AJ speaks fluent alien-speak again is top-tier comedy

Unexpected Don Juan lore drop: Not only was he born and abandoned inside the haberdashery, he also constructed the entire building himself, as an infant. The more you know!

"Just like the namesake of this haberdashery, you are cracking! Like a meringue that's been left out too long... I can't watch your mind fracture like a meringue under a hammer" Guys I think Don Juan #2 might be trying to remind us of the play's title and that it's totally relevant to the plot

Hey so has the fandom decided on what the dead daughter's name is? Or is it like a Billy/Timothy/Benjamin type thing? Because I need answers

"Has your dead daughter been saying things to me fro beyond the grave? No! ... My wife on the other hand-" I don't have anything to add here, I just like that bit

Sam caught that needle in his hand like he caught the cocktail in The Hare Who Wore A Sweater

"You know anti-psychotics could cause mental cracking in healthy minds, so we're just wondering, what's going on here?" The tone of this whole conversation is as if the doctor is trying not to cause drama, as they actively (and accurately) accuse the 'sick' wife of drugging the town. I can't tell if that's just the characters general vibe or if they're worried about their own safety if they piss this lady off

Luke: "What are you doing?" Sam: *silently trying to figure out who the hell this character's supposed to be* "Nikita-?" Luke: *closing one eye to make it more obvious* "What are you doing??"

Sam goes through the same confused thought process after the 'What are you doing to yourself?' line

"Who is making you do this?" "He is" "Who is making you do this?" "He is making me do this-" "WHO is making you DO THIS? Come on!" "I- I'm making me do this-" ".. It's your wife, your fucking wife" Nikita/Luke is so tired of Don Juan/Sam's shit

"Do you ever wonder why you and my father have the same name?" Luke started this plot line, and now he's the one to end it

Luke being the translator for the audience is so funny. He said 'es verdad' and was like 'fuck you aren't gonna know what that means, here I'll spell it out for you'

"I was never sick.. I just don't like working!" Understandable villain motivation

"He said I was a bad influence and he kept me away" I mean you did drug the whole town, I can imagine you weren't the best influence back then either

Also wow, they made the daughter's death even more fucked up than before-

Tom being summoned to stand and represent 1000 Don Juans, as his singular self

"We really have to finish the show" "So it finishes with the villain winning!" A villain played by Luke winning is the only kind of unhappy ending I want to see, really it couldn't have gone better

Final thoughts: Everyone that thinks The Lighthouse is the most chaotic SFTH play needs to rewatch The Meringue Haberdashery right now

[cultkinkcoven]

If you're making a Blog to be a safe space It should be common sense to not post anything controversial on it. You actively chose to make your blog a space of drama when you made a post empathizing with pedophiles and other problematic people. And you only furthered that when you chose to be close-minded and then tried to validate that close-mindedness and refrain from reflecting on yourself by pretending a god said that you can be close-minded. You also brag about how you are a vessel of controversy because you claim that's what Lucifer would want from you. All of that makes your blog a controversial space and you cannot have a space that is safe and controversial at the exact same time. This seems more like you realize you said and did some really shitty and questionable things and instead of apologizing you're trying to make people feel bad by claiming your safe space that never existed was destroyed instead of just owning up to what you did.

oh you seem to have misunderstood.

I can use my blog as a platform to share controversial ideas from time to time and open up a dialogue, that is a part of my practice and Luciferianism. Controversy will be had. I can choose to engage in controversy at times, that does not mean I am consenting to making my entire online experience about constantly addressing controversy. Nor does that mean I am obligated to entertain you any longer than I want to.

I share controversial ideas from time to time as a devotional act, but that is not the purpose of this page, it is a thing I do from time to time, and no, I don’t want my entire page to become a debate room just because I engage in debate occasionally. I decide when I want to open those discussions up and I decide when I want to disengage. My piece was said. My sanctuary was not destroyed by anyone else, it was only slightly affected because I personally lost focus. And not because I made that post, but because I became too over consumed with doing damage control afterwards.

As I’ve already said before, if you believe I am close minded and you believe I am incorrect, that’s totally fine. My God didn’t give me permission to be close minded, he gave me permission to think in a way that you personally do not appreciate. I don’t think my position that the mentally ill deserve empathy is as close minded as the opposite.

I don’t brag about being a vessel of controversy. I am a vessel of Lucifer, and to be so means I will always attract controversy, and Lord Lucifer finds it delightful. I would not be a true Luciferian if I wasn’t tempered by the flames. The ideas I present will always be uncomfortable to many, that doesn’t mean I crave controversy, it means I know I am inevitably going to receive it. I didn’t make that post so you all could lose your minds, I made that post so I could write down and remember complex ideas based on the conversations I was having with him. You all lost your minds anyways.

I am a Luciferian, he teaches us how to deal with controversy, and yes, he is proud whenever I can face it and emerge through it. “Emerge through it” does not mean becoming consumed by it. This is not the first time and it will not be the last. I follow my God in earnest regardless of how it makes strangers feel.

At the end of the day, I still stand by that post, I don’t believe it was incorrect or shitty, that’s why it’s stayed up. I am not sorry about it nor the conversations that occurred because of it. I do not regret making it. It will stay up. I own up to what I did and I stand behind it 10 toes down.

But no, I don’t consider that conversation to be overarching permission to use my page as a debate ground at all times. It’s not mandatory that I do so. Just because I choose to engage in debate from time to time does not mean this page is any less my safe space. I invite different opinions into my world so I can be challenged, but I am also just as within my right to decide when I want to shut those conversations down and move on.

I can’t have a safe space that encompasses both safety and controversy from time to time?

I don’t believe you. Watch me.

[nomatterwhatnomatterwhere]

What a (Not so) Strange World XIX

(Don't just) Wait and Trust to Fate

A.N: I'm really sorry this is so short compared to the others chapters, I tried, really, but I didn't like where it was headed - honestly I'm not even really satisfied - but I felt that If I kept on re-writing it I would be forever stuck on this -more than I already was I mean . There's still a little bit of world building, because I like that, so let me know what do you think

Part XVIII Part XX

As a teacher, Crewel was used to not fully understanding the actions and reasoning of his students.

Most of them were puppies who did not yet fully understand how the world worked outside school - no matter how much many of them needed a leash to mitigate the damage of their walks.

Sometimes he found himself thinking that even some adults needed someone to teach them manners, given how some of their actions didn't make the slightest bit of sense.

Crowley did not really fall into this category: it was rather common knowledge that the role of HeadMaster was awarded not to the person with the greatest magical power, but to the person who had demonstrated an extraordinary ability to reason.

It went without saying that these people were often peculiar in the way they did things, and their motives were not always clear, but there was usually reasoning behind their decisions.

Crowel had proved to be that kind of person, so despite everything, it was hard to question what he did.

You didn't have the slightest confidence in him, you'd made that clear from the start, you'd made no secret of it, from the time you'd arrived at the NRC to the unpleasant situation Mr Roseheart had found himself in, there had never been a situation where you hadn't complained about the HeadMaster's manner.

Crewel had found it amusing at first, your obvious displeasure - and probable disappointment - in Croweley, but neither he nor Trein had really given too much thought to the situation.

The Headmasters were also involved in matters outside the school, increasing the burden of responsibility.

It hadn't been that strange that he'd forgotten to escort you to the room they'd prepared for you, plus there was also Yuu's situation to consider in all that.

But this was the first time in a very long time that Crewel found himself wondering what exactly was going through Crowley's mind

"So, you're telling me" he began, running through his hair, as if trying to see if he understood "That the Headmaster appointed Yuu and Grim to investigate all these incidents, you and a few other Heartslabyul students decided to join them, looking for possible targets and possible clues…"

"The Headmaster didn't appoint Yuu and Grim, he threatened them! How… this is…", shaking his head, irritated at the mere recollection. Puffed " Riddle and the others decided to help after what happened to Trey, but it seems that Riddle had already noticed that something strange was happening, so Cater had already noted down some possible targets. But we still don't know who the culprit might be."

"But you're working on something, I assume’"Your eyes had lit up. Crewel knew that light, it was the one that came on when you learned something new, when you got an idea ‘Is that why you came here?’

You felt yourself blush on your face. It wasn't as if you were trying to hide the reason for your visit, but the fact that it was so clear embarrassed you.

(But Crewel knew you, he knew how to react to certain things, and it wasn't as if you were so difficult to read.

You just had to observe carefully)

"Kind of…" you looked around at the various books, ledgers and filing cabinets in the room ‘ There is an archive for Unique Magic that I could use?…’

Crewel weighed your words for a moment, before heading towards an inlaid wooden bookcase.

" Every country does have a register of Unique Magic, but as far as I know you cannot see them without a permit. If you want to know more you should ask Professor Trein".

He levitated a pair of registers towards you.

" Some students develop their Unique Magic before enrolling, but some others do actually develop it here, and when they do, it gets written in here."

"And I can… have them?"

"Usually not. A Unique Magic is something personal to a Mage, and while for some it's not a problem to make it known, for others it is. But this seems to me to be a situation where an exception can be made. If your student has developed his Unique Magic during his schooling, you will find it written down".

He messed up your hair, advising you to get to class before you were too late.

(On the way you peeked, to see if the deer was still where you had seen it, but it was already gone).

You had felt a little guilty during the lesson.

Trein was going over the concept of magicpens, explaining their importance to a wizard, but you hadn't followed a single word: you were too busy trying to get something out of what Crewel had given you.

You had concentrated on the students of Savana Claw, following what Rook had told you, but you hadn't been able to find much.

The roster Azul had given you listed the players who possessed Unique magic, so you went to check which of them had developed it at the school, but none of their spells seemed likely to cause the incidents that were taking place.

All that remained was for you to investigate what the Unique Magic of those you hadn't yet eliminated from the list might be.

To think that the Housewarden was among them was already giving you a headache.

From what you remembered they hadn't been very hospitable the last time you'd shown up in their territory.

(When the lesson was over, Trein sent you an admonishing look, probably knowing that you hadn't followed his lecture at all and that this would affect your schooling.

It was no mystery, you knew that Trein always marked who attended the lesson).

You were near the courtyard when you heard Grim's shrill voice shout something, forcing you to turn in the direction his voice came from.

You were not surprised to see the three Problem Child and Yuu. What surprised you was seeing a third person with them.

You only realised who it was when he walked past you, moving away from the first years, while you did the opposite: it was Savanaclaw's little hyena.

While Deuce was worrying about how Riddle might react to the fact that “they'd let him get away”, you went to get the magic pens that had been - very kindly - left on a nearby wall.

Yuu filled you in on what had happened as Ace and Deuce - and Grim, especially Grim - got into a fight with Jack, who, honestly, you hadn't even seen coming.

Still, it certainly wasn't hard to notice.

The scene must have been funny from the outside: three students and a cat having a fight and two other students not far away chatting as if nothing was happening.

The fact that they had managed to find out that Ruggie was the culprit before you had mildly irritated you: sometimes you really complicate your life.

The fact remained that what Ruggie said was true: there was no proof that he had caused those incidents

(Semantics; if you had managed to organise things well you would have been able to find something, you were sure of that, but first it was better to listen to what Jack had to say)

"Cowardly tricks make me sick! There is no meaning in such a victory! I wanted to use my power to claim victory at the summit!"

"Ah" you heard Ace sigh "This guy is a pain in the ass."

You couldn't help but smile "You'll find that Jack here cares a lot about honour."

("I get it! I really get it! That feeling!"

‘We have our nuisances too’).

The information Jack had was extremely interesting - although the part where he talked about Leona made you smile: you remembered how he used to talk about Vil when you were younger - and had somewhat confirmed your suspicions

( and what Rook had told you. Now that you thought about it, you were ready to bet that the blond knew exactly who was behind this plan. )

You were astonished when the wolf said he didn't want to take part in the plan that Riddle - who had arrived with Carter - was about to explain, but you had to hold back a laugh when Yuu pointed out to him that he wouldn't be able to do much on his own

"I-it's back…' Prefect, blunt insight."

As you listened to Riddle's plan you couldn't help but think, amusingly, that Ace reacted to Jack's way of being, the same way you reacted to his

It had been a while since you'd found something funny.

As always let me know if you wanna be tagged

@jessiegerl, @mewchiili

Divider by @sweetmelodygraphics

[serpentface]

I don't remember if you've ever said, but I assume Hibrides' children aren't coming along for the pilgrimage so...who are they staying with? Janeys' family? As a bonus, what's the schooling/care arrangement like for them and kids living in the larger Wardin cities in general?

Yeah they're left behind. Janeys' household is being managed by one of his aunts, but most of the children's care is in the hands of their tutor and his one permanent hired servant. These two also provide the majority of the practical day to day care for the children in general. This is in large part due to 2/3 of the parents involved not wanting to be parents at all, but is not outright atypical of a noble family- it's very common to delegate much of the basic childcare to servants. Janeys' main involvement in his children's lives is Being The Guy That Is Ostensibly Their Father And Exists In The Same Household, Hibrides does Some childcare and is teaching Erubi to weave but is like, emotionally distant, Brakul kind of just does whatever he can get away with (the one thing he consistently gets to do is tell them stories).

The children are too young to for school and probably will never attend (unless either gets nepotism-inducted into the Odonii and thus attends a priestly school, which has already been suggested but not officially decided for Erubi). Janeys and Hibrides both came from families that utilized private tutors for homeschooling instead of attending school and consider this to be a superior form of education.

---

Parents are expected to provide some degree of education in basic skills for their children, which is somewhat separated by gender- mothers focus more on teaching daughters women's tasks and will have them assist in rearing of siblings, fathers will have their sons accompany them at labor. This separation is less intense in the lower classes (eg: textile work is an endless everyday task, women and girls may perform the bulk of the work but husbands and sons will participate in free time) and more intense (with less parental involvement) in the upper classes (which will typically have servants to assist in domestic tasks, lightening the workloads of both parents and allowing more separated roles).

Being formally educated (and ESPECIALLY being literate) is culturally valued, but education is not compulsory and there are significant class (and citizenship) barriers to comprehensive, longterm education.

Formal education is largely inaccessible to the rural poor, and necessary life skills will typically learned by working with family and community members hands-on. Schools exist primarily within the major cities, generally as boarding schools that the children will live at semi-permanently for 4-6 years. The majority of these schools are run by temples (though are separate from priesthood-specific schools) and separated by class. Some are specifically made for children of nobility (or those otherwise wealthy enough to afford it), though will occasionally offer scholarships to notably promising commoner children. The rest are Effectively free and considered a benefit of citizenship, but more easily accessible to the mercantile classes (many poor families need their children to assist in labor and household tasks and cannot afford to send them away).

In terms of nobility or otherwise very wealthy families, hiring private tutors is often preferred over school attendance. These will typically be scholars who have received higher education and are considered capable of providing a comprehensive one on one education to children. Depending on the arrangement, they will usually visit (or even live in) the family's home on a daily basis for lessons, and often serve additional functions in providing some childcare. (The hiring of servants is also ubiquitous in any family that can afford it- this is generally for household tasks, but most wealthy families will have servant(s) that specifically assist in childcare).

A standard, basic education will include: literacy and writing, religious and moral topics, civic duties, some basic mathematics, and other broad life skills. Education for girls includes all of the above and is otherwise mostly tailored towards domestic tasks (cooking, textile work, home economics, etc). Boys will receive training as warriors (which is very important- all citizen men can be called to combat as footsoldiers and are expected to have basic competency).

An upper class education additionally includes: calligraphy, poetry, music (mostly song and dance, which have important religious roles in addition to being valued art forms), etiquette, and specialized civic duties. The education of upper class boys will delve into politics, rhetoric, economics, law, some basic philosophy, and higher-skill warrior training that includes mounted combat and swordsmanship (intended to funnel these boys into ranking groups of soldiers). Upper class girls typically are granted a greater spectrum of educational topics in addition to domestic tasks, with a particular focus on the arts.

Most major priesthoods have their own schools for child initiates, which typically teach a basic core curriculum in addition to specialized skillsets of their respective priesthood and a more in-depth religious education. In these cases, the children are sent away permanently and the majority of their rearing is performed by priests and attendant servants.

[maabelasdaruth]

The more I consider my rewrite of knowing everything about Solas, the more poignant the lack of knowledge hits in the original romance. Especially as the only Dalish elf among humans. She's only ever known her clan, looking to Solas as her person, someone of her culture who even with his hang ups about the Dalish is the elven apostate who saved her left after the temple. He's so clever, and mirrors her own admiration. He's calling her Lethallan, a single familiar face among a sea of other, especially compared to Sera, a city elf whose introduction is the "too elfy" comment.

Flash forward to whenever her clan dies to humans (elf is the only background with multiple death conditions at multiple decision points as far as I remember) She has been the lone Dalish among humans for weeks or months but now she is alone. A spy who was suddenly made a representative for the Dalish of Clan Lavellan, but there is no more clan Lavellan. It's the prominency of HER NAME that brought the attention towards them. They are scattered and lost. She is alone, the Keeper is likely dead, and she was the first of clan Lavellan, she's who would be next in line as Keeper, but even if there were surviors, she cannot leave. In truth she lost that life the moment she became Herald. She is no Keeper. She is the Inquisitor. Her clan is scattered or slaughtered, and she is a worlds away.

So suddenly Solas, her vhenan, is the last thing she's able to cling to of her culture. The idea of her completely trusting and loving him. Giving all of herself to him with no idea he's the thing she's been warned about all her life. The power of secrets and the inequality of information and power in their dynamic is intoxicating. By building a character who has to do the same calculations Solas does in every word they speak, the dynamic changes. The original Lavellan is following the story beats, falling in love and having their heart broken and learning the truth behind their lovers actions only years later. Whereas, my spirit possessed Lavellan is falling in love with him because HE'S REAL NOW and that's intoxicating but, she's already obsessed with him before they met (full decade now). In a very real way, he is the thing binding her to the world. As much as I love so many of the other characters I am posting on a blog dedicated to Solas, quite literally titled my sorrow is eternal -> ma abelas dar uth, because I'm also a drama queen. So this new character rewrites so much of the original story dynamic which makes it an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORY in a very fun way that helps me appreciate the original more because like:

Lavellan now knows the events of inquisition and Veilguard when they go as a spy to the Temple of Sacred Ashes. So they're walking into their potential death with the intention to prevent the horror of what the Inquisitor could become. Especially because despite what Veilguard did in only having one world state, the decision of who became Divine changed that world profoundly. And the Inquisitor set the tone for that and mage/Templar freedom. It can't be anyone else because she/I am prideful enough to believe it should be me. But those big world reasons are equally important to meeting Solas as the person who he will feel the whole world change when you meet because that's what becoming the person who could be real to him costs. Also she's not sure if it's to change his mind or let him change hers. I'm not so decided that the veil should stay up, especially all it cost to keep in place in Veilguard. The elven condition across the world is so often suffering and the Dales the Dalish were named after tried to isolate from humans in order to regain their own immorality, why wouldn't she take that change. I understand the game needs you to be dedicated to order but I am a creature of chaos and dream. Let me make the dreams real and bring the magic back and let everything sing again like Sandal was on about back in Dragon age 2!

Also the Dalish teach that spirits want to destroy the world in their jealousy which is discussed in early Solas questionings and as much as Solas tried to protest that it's not true, that's exactly his plan just over grief and regret rather than jealousy. How fun would it be if spirit Lavellan would help with that! Two spirits destroying the current world in order to bring about the next, bound by Pride and Obsession/Desire. Even if I could fix him, wouldn't it be fun to be worse together! He wouldn't let you help him in Trespasser but that's original Lavellan whose world he's destroying, what if you clawed your way into the world with Titan and elf blood, placed yourself on the path to the title of Inquisitor and confronted him in Crestwood.

What would it look like for his failed confession to be interrupted by her/my own?!

"I can love all of you, Solas and Fen'Harel. Can you love me in my totality, as Lavellan and MYSELF?"

[xx-riffraff-xx]

I have yet to learn how to make posts look pretty. Here’s my characterization chart for Zayne because Love and Deepspace has me in a chokehold and I need to write something about this man before I fucking explode. Picked from various sources, SOME NOT MY OWN!!! (Canon, other headcanon lists, my own life, my imagination, etc.) If you recognize any of these headcanons as your own, PLEASE let me know and I will credit you here or remove! I don’t have the recorded history to find and credit everyone whose headcanons I liked. List under the cut it’s really long.

His nose is perpetually cold. He likes to tuck his nose into your neck to stay warm. It’s a requirement for all his favorite cuddle positions.

And boy does he love cuddling! He is so touch-starved and his favorite thing is settling in on the couch with you after a long shift at the hospital.

Secretly a little spoon. It doesn’t matter if he’s taller than you, he likes to be held.

Either an excellent cook or a terrible cook and I can’t decide which yet.

If he’s a terrible cook and you are not, he makes sure you have everything you could possibly want in the kitchen to cook with so you can make whatever you want. He’s always willing to learn whenever you try to teach him.

If you’re both terrible cooks, a few of your dates are cooking classes together. He takes classes more often because he wants to cook a candlelit dinner for you sometime. Eventually, he can cook a variety of dishes with no cookware-related tragedies. The first thing he chose to learn to make was your favorite.

I think he may start out as a terrible cook but through your influence, he becomes a decent if not excellent chef!

Workaholic. We know this from canon, but when I write things I want to take it to the ultimate level.

Related concept, self-sacrificial idiot. Everything from choosing to make dinner when he’s already exhausted to literally giving his life for you. It’s really difficult to get it through his thick skull that you don’t need him to sacrifice so much for you.

STUUUUUBORN. If he sets his mind to something it takes weeks to change it and he has to think it was his idea.

Fortunately, you have a leg up in this scenario in that he is absolutely WEAK to you. If anyone can convince him of something, it’s you.

Will not tell you if he’s in pain or injured or tired. Will try to push through whatever pain he’s in due to self-sacrificial attitude mentioned above.

This also applies to his evol. If his evol acts up he will not be telling you that, no matter how badly you want him to.

MAAAJOR guilt, anxiety, and people pleasing problems. For Zayne it’s due to being a doctor and for Foreseer!Zayne due to what Astra put him through. Foreseer!Zayne might get his own list we’ll see how crazy I go.

Cannot take care of plants. Partly too busy, partly he just can’t.

Cat person, also known from canon.

I think he’s a poet. I have next to nothing to support this, I just think he gives you poetic compliments and he’s melodramatic in the way many poets I know are.

Very small physical tells for what he’s feeling, which is why he comes off as cold. (Tiny curl at the corners of his mouth for joy, subtle softening in his eyes for admiration, crease in his brow for worry, tiny head tilt for confusion, clenches his fists for anger, more if I come up with it and remember to edit this post.)

Not a very feelings-y person. It takes a lot for him to open up to you and actually say what he’s feeling.

Related, has a very hard time asking for things he wants and needs.

Cries at Disney and Ghibli movies. (I know, seems odd with the prior points, but I just think wholesome things would get him more than anything else because of all the sadness and tragedy he’s seen.)

You introduced him to Ghibli and he has cried at every movie you’ve shown him. Every single one.

Does not get jealous, but when he does… woof.

Always always always thinking about your health. Texts you throughout the day reminding you to drink water and makes sure you eat enough veggies.

Pastries are his favorite. He loves chocolate-filled croissants the most.

Easily embarrassed by silly nicknames, but loves all the ones you come up with.

Royal purple and navy blue are his favorite colors.

He primarily listens to classical and jazz I think, but cheesy pop songs are his guilty pleasure.

If he were to play an instrument I think he’d be a cellist. (Something something cello and flutes sound like snow to me and he is not a floutist.)

Proper grammar when texting.

A very affectionate and giggly drunk, does not drink often. Does not like the taste of alcohol, so sweet fruity cocktails are his favorite.

Side sleeper.

Collects plushies because you got him into it.

Cannot think of anything else at the minute, so this is the completed list. Bye lmao