elpneedsfriends

[just-about-nothing]

albuquerque’s so cute i think i just heard four gunshots :D

and like.... my momma swears up & down they arrested a seventeen year old while he was sleepin w an automatic + several thousand dollars of opioids in his room like two blocks away lmao

[romanticintheory]

Hello!!!! I was wondering if you could write an angst with Ghost/Simon where the reader was too clingy after having a bad day and he lashed out on her but he didn't think anything of it because the next day the reader was acting normal. He only noticed after a few weeks when reader became more distant and quiet. Feel free to ignore if it's too weird or you don't like it!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

this one is dedicated to all the ones who were hurt and never got that apology. hope this alleviates the pain.

simon "ghost" riley x gn!reader || masterlist || request rules

-there was no one specific reason as to why today turned out to be a bad day. it just was.

-from accidentally burning yourself trying to make breakfast after waking up late to having to deal with the most insufferable customers, it just wasn't your day today.

-but it was okay, because you had simon to return to when everything was said and done.

-the frown on your face immediately softens the moment you see him walk through the door to your shared home. as soon as he pulls his mask and boots off, you make your way toward him and engulf him in a tight hug.

-you are painfully (but understandably) unaware of the thin veil of his patience and the frustration that had been brewing within him in the past few hours. he half-heartedly returns the embrace.

-"how was your day, si?" you ask him gently.

-"fine," he responds shortly, hoping there isn't more to the conversation.

-even after you pull away from him, you trail behind him as he moves around the house. this wasn't irregular behavior from either of you. simon wasn't usually the most talkative person in the room, anyway, but he loved to hear your voice. that was one of the things he loved about the two of you together; you filled the space he couldn't.

-today, though, was different. he was pissed off at all different kinds of people. for some reason, couldn't bring himself to tell you that he was having a bad day and needed some space, especially because it was evident you were having a bad one yourself.

-so when he turned on his heel after listening to your rambles for as much as he could take and lashed out at you, he tried not to think about the unbearable amount of guilt seeping into his veins.

-"would you just stop clinging to me for five minutes? god, 's like i can't get away from you or your constant fucking talking!"

-you had heard stories, mostly from simon, about the kind of man he could be when pushed to his limit. mostly, it was of violent, physical acts when it came to work or protecting the ones he loved. other times, he would tell you about when he'd lash out at others just like he did to you, now, and he always told it to you with a quiet fear. there was an unspoken meaning to him telling you about the times he's acted out: i don't want to do the same to you. i don't want to hurt you.

-but here he was, towering over you with a coldness in his eyes and a dryness in his throat from the sheer volume of his words.

-averting your gaze from his, you let out a meek, "'m sorry," and watch as he slams the door in front of your face.

-when he slinks into bed next to your sleeping form later that night, ridden with shame and guilt, he misses the tear-stained face hidden from him. after his outburst, you felt like all of the energy in your body had been taken away from you and retreated to bed early. you cried on and off for hours.

-you always thought you had a clinging problem. it was an insecurity you carried with you starting from childhood. friends would become acquaintances and family would keep you at arms-length. after years of believing the issue was you, simon walked into your life and told you different.

-if you stopped talking because you thought he stopped listening and was uninterested, he'd always turn back to you and genuinely ask why you stopped talking. whenever you apologized for hugging him for too long or asking to spend time with him for the third time that week, he'd always tilt his head at you and say in that low, sincere voice, "but i love you?"

-for all those reasons, you tried to give him the benefit of the doubt despite how much he hurt you. so, when he tries to bring it up the next morning, you do your best to brush it off. he was having a bad day. that was all. no need to make a fuss.

-"listen, love," he calls to you as you pop your piece of toast out of the toaster. "about last night-"

-completely disregarding his words, you look at the clock and stuff your phone into your pocket. "it's fine. honestly, simon," you tell him with the best smile you could muster. "i'm gonna be late. i'll see you tonight."

-you were so adamant on getting out as quick as possible that simon had no time to respond. he thought to himself that maybe he was making a bigger deal out of it than you. maybe there were no hard feelings and you were completely fine. after all, he was always overly worried for you, anyway.

-so, when you came home, he didn't mention it. it was as if last night didn't happen, and the two of you were perfectly fine. there were times where simon thought you were being a bit more restrained in your movements or words, but he tried to chalk it up to just him being overly paranoid. you said it was fine, so it was better not to push you on it, right?

-at first, you were doing really good at keeping yourself from overthinking the situation. however, as time went on and you paid more attention to how you acted around your boyfriend, you began to wonder if you were really that clingy.

-as the week progressed, your state of mind would deteriorate. what if it wasn't just a bad day? what if that was what he thought the entire time and was just waiting for the right moment to tell you? had he just been trying to cheer you up about your insecurities the entire time? and if he was, how much of this relationship was even real, then?

-the more you thought about it, the more distant you became. the last thing you wanted to do was make simon feel like he was being suffocated by you. you slowly stopped initiating physical affection with him, restricted talking about your day to a few sentences, and tried to answer simon's questions in one word when possible.

-he notices. of course he notices, it was like a stranger was living where you were supposed to be, and he missed it. he missed you.

-he asks you about your change when you're getting ready for bed, pulling the rest of your nightshirt over your head. despite being exhausted from work and looking like you were sitting out in the wind, he thought you never looked more ethereal than you did now.

-"(y/n)," he said.

-"hm?" you hummed to him, not turning toward his direction. you sat down on the edge of your side of the bed, turning off the lamp at the same time.

-your lack of emotional presence was starting to eat at him. he sat down next to you, the mattress dipping beneath his weight and forcing you to lean toward him.

-"you alright?"

-"yes. why?"

-"i dunno, you just seem..." his eyes tried to find yours, but you couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze. "quiet."

-it was then that you looked at him, and it was scary to simon because he couldn't make out the emotion in your expression. there was nothing he could read.

-"isn't that-" you had to pause to try and stabilize your wavering voice. "isn't that what you wanted?"

-there was a tension-filled silence that settled in the room, and for a second you were worried that what you said was somehow incredibly offensive.

-finally, he chokes out, "i'm sorry."

-again, you try to muster up a smile. "it's fine, i already told you. i should've known you wanted space."

-"no."

-"no?"

-"it was my fault," he explains. "how could you 'ave known? i didn't tell you i wasn't in the mood that day, and that's not even considering the way i talked to you. i shouldn't have- nothing excuses what i said to you."

-still, you were convinced you were to blame. "well, i have a history of being clingy, so," you were trying to come up with more excuses for him. for most of your life, you had decided that you were the issue. it couldn't be any other way, right?

-"i know. it's one of the things i love you for," he says quietly. "not to sound cheesy but it's what makes you you, and i don't want you to lose that jus' 'cause i'm still shitty at communication."

-you knew in some capacity he was right. there was no excuse for how he talked to you, but the next words you wanted to say evaded you.

-simon thought about talking some more. instead, he grasped your back with one hand and slid his other underneath your legs, repositioning you on his lap. it was like a silent plea from him, a way of proving that he wanted to be close to you just as much as you wanted to be close to him.

-"you're sure i'm not too clingy?" you ask tentatively.

-"positive," he reassures you, rubbing small circles on your back with his thumb. "you wanna know something?"

-"what?"

-"if i wasn't so fucked up-"

-"you're not fucked up."

-"right." you never let him talk badly about himself. that was something he was still getting used to after all this time. being loved and learning to love himself. "well, if i didn't grow up the way i did and became the person i am, i'd probably be way clingier than you."

-"that's impossible," you deny, unconsciously letting yourself lean into his touch.

-"you don't know how much i want you. if my mind and body would let me, i'd be close to you all the time, showing you the attention you deserve."

-"you give me plenty."

-"agree to disagree," he stops with the circles and pulls you impossibly closer to his body. "but 'm trying. 'm trying to learn to let you love me and to not be afraid to love you. 'm sorry, love. i stopped trying that night, and i think it'll be the death of me."

-you let his words sink in, a thoughtful look on your face.

-"next time you'll tell me, right? what you're thinking?"

-"pinkie promise," he agrees, letting the hand under your legs slide out and raise his pinkie finger toward you.

-in return, you link your pinkie with his to seal the promise, and it feels as though the heavy tension in the air has cleared away.

-"i love you," he says, feeling bold from his previous admission.

-"i love you, too." there's that smile on your face. he never realized until now how he probably couldn't live without it.

-he kisses you on the lips, and for a moment the two of you just stay there in each other's arms, forgiving the past, healing the present, and dreaming of the future together.

[reidmotif]

Behind Closed Doors Pt. 2

Summary: Reader and Spencer get caught having sex in the storage closet, in possibly the most embarrassing way possible.

A/N: This is a requested Part 2 to my other fic by the same name, "Behind Closed Doors" . For the full experience, read them back to back!

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Smut

Content Warning: Reader POV, drinking/drinking games, rough sex, unprotected sex, hair pulling, semi-public sex, tipsy sex (if you squint), exhibitionism (kind of)

Word Count: 2.9k

The storage closet at the BAU had become somewhat of an unlikely sanctuary for Spencer and I. 

I didn’t realize how much I’d end liking it, especially since my boyfriend and I had always managed just fine with no PDA at work for long periods of time, but once I got a taste of it- I was fucking addicted. 

Maybe it was the thrill of knowing we could be caught at any moment, or the idea of someone hearing my moans through the thin door of the small space, begging Spencer for more and more until I was practically sobbing. 

Or maybe it was that Spencer seemed to lose all control when we were in the closet, any and all previous inhibitions and protests leaving him as soon as we closed the door, his hands immediately sneaking under my shirt, cupping my bra and removing it, touching me in any way fathomable.  His lips would make their way down my neck, teasing me until I was needy and desperate, and then he’d let loose, fucking me like we’d never get the chance to do this again. 

All in all, the closet was definitely a wonderful addition to the places we’d had sex in.

When Spencer and I had arrived at the bar for drinks after our most recent case, we weren’t really expecting too much from the night. It was meant to be celebratory, to commence a job well done from the entire team and while nights like this could get rowdy, Spencer and I had already planned to leave earlier into the night than usual to spend some time with just each other. (And to just have loads of sex, truthfully). 

Spencer had his hand in mine as we entered, spotting our team in the back in a little booth, already seeming to have gotten started on their drinks for that night. They smiled and waved us over and we approached them. Spencer let me slide in first, while he scooted in next to me, our thighs touching due to the small and intimate setting of the booth. It didn’t bother him, and he let his hand let go of mine before placing it on my thigh. It was comforting, as if a way to subtly tether us to each other even while we were in front of the team. 

We all exchanged hellos and pleasantries before Derek pushed two shots towards us. 

“Drink up.” He said, with a smirk. “For being late.” He added. 

I rolled my eyes playfully, before grabbing the drink and tipping my head back and taking it. The familiar burn of tequila hit the back of my throat, and I made a face. 

“Eugh. Tequila? Seriously, Derek?” I said, scrunching up my face and placing the shot glass down, watching as Spencer mimicked my actions, having a similar reaction, albeit less pronounced than mine. 

“Come on, pretty girl.” Derek said, winking. “Live a little. Plus, we all did them before you were here, so it’s only fair.” 

I laughed a little, already feeling a little tipsy and nodded. “Fine. Fine.” I said. “I’m not leaving here without at least one Cosmo in me though.” 

After a trip to the bar and a few drinks, conversation became lively, and jokes were exchanged freely. Everyone had loosened up quite a considerable amount, including Hotch, who was known for a much more stoic appearance at these things. 

It was JJ who eventually suggested we all take part in a drinking game, a habit from her teenage years emerging, when the options for entertainment in her small town were limited between drinking or visiting a local grocery store. If there was anyone skilled at turning a seemingly mundane situation into a lively one, it was her.

“Ooh!” Penelope said, clearly enticed by the idea. “What do you propose we do?” She said, clasping her hands excitedly together and laughing. 

“How about Never Have I Ever?” JJ suggests, smirking. I internally groaned. Never Have I Ever was fun, but when it turned sexual it was always a bit awkward for Spencer and I specifically. Whereas the married members of our team had the luxury of not having their partners there when risque questions were asked,  Spencer and I would awkwardly put down both our fingers at the same time, watching as our team put two and two together and realize we’d actually done that thing together. It was all in good fun and it didn’t bother me or him that much. We were a couple. Of course we had sex- but still. Having everyone at the table know that the man who was the cause for all my put-down fingers and empty shot glasses was actually right next to me always proved to make some interesting situations for the two of us. 

Still, we agreed good naturedly and smiled, as noises of approval spread among the table, everyone seemingly on board with the idea.

JJ looked happy, opting to ask the first question, since it was her suggestion in the first place.

“Okay, okay.” JJ says, excitedly. “Never have I ever.. slept with a coworker.” She flashed a mischievous smile, her eyes seemingly drifting towards our side of the table.

Spencer and I immediately groaned and the table erupted in laughter. 

“Sorry, sorry.” JJ said, putting her hands up in playful defense. “You know I had to. It’s practically tradition at this point when we play."

Spencer and I clinked our respective drinks with a small smile exchanged between the two of us, letting the bitter and burning liquid plague our throats. Penelope took a shot as well, since she had been with Kevin. We all argued for a bit that technically JJ’s relationship hinged on the fact that she’d met her husband working on a case. It was eventually decided that since Will never worked at the BAU specifically, JJ was void from putting a finger down. Even then, JJ wasn’t about to turn down the opportunity to drink and took a shot anyway, and grinned. “Onto the next person.” She said, raising her shot glass to the person on her right. 

Derek beamed brightly, being the next person in succession to ask a question. “Alright, my turn.” Derek pauses. “Never have I ever had a threesome.” He says, confidently.

Emily smiled, sipping from her glass. “That’s me.” She said, tipping her head back and seemingly having no reaction. 

“Really Prentiss?” Derek said, smirking a bit. “How was he?” 

“Who said there was a ‘he’ at all?” Prentiss fired back, with a smirk and Derek nodded, raising his eyebrows and nodding. “Damn.” 

“Damn indeed.” Prentiss said, laughing a bit. “My turn. Erm. Never have I ever had sex in public.” 

Spencer and I glanced at each other, hesitated, before lifting up our drinks to our lips simultaneously. The entire team’s eyes widened, watching us. 

“Hold on- what?” Penelope said, leaning over. “No way! You two are so.. proper!” She exclaimed, in disbelief. “Where would you even..?” She says, trailing off, trying to figure out how she could reason this in her mind. 

“Hey, I don’t kiss and tell.” I say with a smirk. Spencer let his hand snake around my waist, away from the eyes of our incredulous coworkers. 

Derek laughs a little. “Well, at least we can be sure you two aren't the closet couple.” Derek remarks, and the team laughs. "That isn't something you'd ever do."

“Closet couple?” Spencer says, and even if he’s trying to hide it, I could sense the edge in his voice. 

“You know!" Penelope said, excitedly. “Nobody knows who they are- but there’s this couple who keeps sneaking into the storage closet off the hallways to have sex.” 

Prentiss interrupts. “I’m telling you, it’s that guy and girl downstairs in Records.” She says, nodding with absolute certainty. “All alone in that basement all day? I’d want sex that makes me scream like that too.” 

I heard the words and could feel my cheeks immediately heat up. Jesus, they were talking about me. Spencer and I were fully aware of the fact that we could be caught, especially since we weren’t exactly the best at staying quiet, but hearing our team discuss us- our sex, right in front of us without even realizing it was a mortifying experience nonetheless. 

“I just wanna know what he’s doing to her in there.” JJ muses, and everyone nodded in agreement. “Like, are you having sex or absolutely murdering the girl in there?” 

Spencer blushed at that, and now both of us were avoiding eye contact with the team, but they seemed totally unfazed, considering they were continuing their conversation about the aforementioned couple. 

“I swear, somedays I want to stand outside that closet just to see who comes out, but they spend such an ungodly amount of time in there and there’s only so long you can listen to two people having sex before it gets weird.” Emily remarked, and JJ laughed. 

“We’d have to take shifts, trying to catch them in the act.” and everyone agreed, nodding. “He must last long if they can spend that much time there..” JJ noted, offhandedly. 

“As fun as it is to speculate on who’s having sex in a closet.” Hotch starts, “It’s getting late. I’m going to finish us off with an easy one.” Hotch says, looking at the team. 

“Never have I ever had sex in a storage closet.”  Hotch says, clearly expecting none of us to take the last few remaining shot glasses on the table. 

Spencer bit his lip, hesitantly reaching over the table to take two shots for himself and me, and we both downed it. As we set our glasses down, we were met with the shocked faces of our coworkers. Derek's mouth was slightly agape, and Penelope pointed between the two of us, trying to connect the dots.

“You know what?” I say, loudly, before any of them can say anything. “I think that’s our cue to leave.” I comment, starting to push Spencer out of the booth, and he immediately understands my urgency. He grabs my hand and nods. 

“Yeah, it’s getting late.” He says, hurriedly getting out of the booth. “We’ll see you all on Monday!” He let his strong grip nearly drag me out of the booth, and we had our backs to the team in a split second.

“Hold on! You can’t just-” Penelope called out, but we’d already made it halfway across the bar before our coworkers could question us about what had just happened. As we left the bar in a panicked rush and felt the cold wind nipping at us, we took one look at each other and burst into laughter. 

“Is it safe to assume they know?” Spencer said, through laughs. 

My own chuckles came out a little embarrassed. “Incredibly safe to assume, actually.” I said, smirking at him nonetheless. “Now we know that all our coworkers think you’re murdering me during sex.” I say, playfully nudging his shoulder. 

Spencer wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me into a soft, yet passionate kiss. It takes me by surprise but I immediately melt into it, wrapping my arms around him. I can feel his lips moving against mine, and when he slips his tongue in, I can feel the taste of liquor transferring from his mouth to mine. He pulls back and grins, boyishly. 

“I’ll take it as a compliment.” Spencer said, his lips brushing against mine as he spoke.

I bit my lip. He looked so fucking sexy right now, the adrenaline from the game and the drinks making his complexion look rosy and hot. His hair was messy from our kiss, and his lips slightly swollen. Despite what felt like embarrassment in the bar, I realized it didn’t corrode the fact that I desperately wanted the man.

“Spencer.” I say, tugging on his shirt. “I need you.” I breathe out. 

"I need you too, baby." He responds, rubbing small circles into my waist.

"No, I need you. Please." I say, hoping he caught onto what I was asking for, without me explicitly saying so.

He knits his brows, understanding, and he let his hands linger on my waist. “Okay, baby.” He says, hesitantly. “Let’s get back home-” 

My desire, only heightened by the alcohol I’d consumed, caused me to shake my head. “No.” I interrupted. “Please, I need you now.” I say, using a voice that would go straight to his cock, full of broken desperation and need for him, just for him. 

It worked. He took one look at my blown out pupils and my parted lips and looked around. “I don’t wanna go back to the bar since the team could see us.” He groans. 

“Then here.” I say, frantically. 

“(Y/N).” He says, rubbing my shoulders. “I love sex just as much as you do but the front of a bar is not-” 

“Not here.” I say rolling my eyes. “The back. That one alleyway?” I say, praying to every God that my boyfriend would just say yes. And thankfully, he did. His face broke out in a smug expression, realizing we could actually have sex now, nearly dragging me as much as I’d allow him. I could feel the exhilaration and lust permeating from both of us, and as soon as we got to the alleyway, he got to work, kissing up columns up and down my neck. He didn’t even bother to check if someone was out there, turning his entire focus to me, to us, and how badly he wanted this. 

With every kiss and bite at my neck, my whimpers grew louder, and he cruelly put a mouth over my mouth, muffling my sounds. 

“Stay quiet.” He growled, and I looked at him, my eyes begging him to just fuck me already. 

“I think enough people know how much of a needy slut you are already, mm?" He says, beginning to undo my jeans and flipping me around, so his broad chest was up against my back.  "Or are you that much of a whore that you want the people at the bar to know too?”

He let the hand encompassing my mouth drop, and leaned over to whisper in my ear. “Make one noise, and I stop.” I then realized that I could feel the head of his arousal rubbing against my folds, and my knees nearly went weak from the sensation. I hadn’t even realized we’d moved this fast, and suddenly, he entered me with a rough thrust, nearly pushing me into the wall. 

It took everything in me not to let out a yelp of surprise, and the bite I had on my tongue in this moment was sure to draw blood, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was every rough thrust that Spencer fucked into me, holding my hips with a bruising force, jutting into me like a man possessed. 

“You like that, mm?” Spencer whispered, leaning over to let his ears brush over the shell of my ear. “You like the idea of being caught? Of everyone knowing how fucking well I treat you?” 

I nod, wildly. “Yes.” I whisper. “Spencer, please-” 

But my words are cut off by another pass of his cock in me, leaving my jaw dropped but no sound coming out. 

“Come on, baby.” He grunts, cruelly. “Gave you one rule, didn’t I?” He says. He notices how weak my knees have gotten in the midst of our rendezvous, and he quickly grips onto my hair, pulling me up against him. “Can’t be a good girl for me?” He teases, a ruthless lilt in his tone. 

I whimper, nodding. “I can. I can” I mumble incoherently. I start to fuck back on him, matching the movement of his hips into mine, feeling myself rapidly approach my orgasm. “Please. I need- I need-” and without thinking of the consequences, I come, feeling the tension leave my body in pleasure inducing waves that cause my entire body to convulse. This only spurs him on to go faster, feeling the clench of my cunt around his cock. 

“Fuck- you feel so good. So fucking good around me.” He praises, and in an instant, his head is thrown back and I can feel him emptying himself inside me with a shudder, still gripping my hair with a desperate, primal need. He's panting, and breathless, and he pulls out as he finishes, tucking himself back into his pants quickly. He lovingly turned his attention to me, fixing me up as well. I whimpered softly as he took care of me, brushing my hair back and pressing small kisses to the back of my neck.

He turns me back to face him once he managed to get my underwear and jeans back up, and caressed my face, planting a tender kiss on my lips, then my forehead, and then bringing me close for a hug. I can feel the scent of sex, liquor and his cologne swarming my senses, and it only causes me to retreat into him deeper. I sense him breathing in my scent, and it makes me smile, knowing we both derived the comfort we needed from each other in that moment.

Finally, he mumbles against the top of my head. 

“Let’s get a cab and go home. Let me run you a bath. You’re so good to me.” He murmurs, still holding me in his arms like I was the last precious thing on Earth. 

I giggled against him, nodding. “Yeah. Yes, please.” I say, still a bit breathless, retreating from his embrace. “I’m surprised I managed to convince you to do that.” I remark, smirking a little, despite myself. “I can’t imagine how many germs are in an alleyway.” 

My boyfriend, of course, cringes. “Don’t remind me.” He says, squeezing my hand. beginning to lead me to the main road to find a cab. He then looks at me, a little smugly. “But I’d say it was worth it, right?” 

“Absolutely.” I respond, squeezing his hand back, a smile gracing my face. He smiles back, and I feel my heart jump.

I don't think I'll ever stop feeling like I’d won the lottery when it came to him. 

ahh! only got it out 1 day late. so that's good. hi! hope you enjoyed. nearly 4 people requested a part 2, so i hope you guys liked my take on the team "catching" them. any likes, reblogs, comments are so appreciated. thank you for reading. i am eternally grateful. ty!!! cannot say it enough

[euovennia]

oh oh - and if it’s not too much trouble to ask, an addition to mom/dad friend simon, maybe another hc where reader takes a bullet for him and he’s like "why would you do that" and she’s all like "because your my friend" and he’s like "🥹" rubbing my hands together deviously

so for anyone new, this post is a continuation of this request, but it can be read as a stand alone if you so choose! i will say simon may be a bit ooc but you've already been besties forever so it's fine. thank you to the anon who requested this, i hope i did it justice. now please, enjoy <3

so by this point it's become well established that you and simon are pretty much a package deal

one can never be seen without the other trailing too far behind

unless of course one of you (usually simon) is actually trying to do their job

but even then you both have a tendency to hover

well

the hovering is usually done by simon who will take it upon himself to sit somewhere in the same room as you while you work

but you're more direct in your approach

which basically means you have no hesitation in pulling up a chair and talking his ear off

depending on his mood/what he's working on he'll either slide something your way in hopes of distracting you into silence or he'll take part in your mindless chatter

it's usually the latter much to the annoyance of price whose come to notice that simon tends to submit his mission reports just a tad later than normal when you're around

but he doesn't dare say anything because he's just happy simon finally has someone to keep him company

even if it does mean him missing a deadline here and there

now with the amount of time you two spend around one another, there was the small concern that you two may become a bit more reckless on missions together

but honestly?

that couldn't have been farther from the truth

as much as you like messing around with simon, you're very aware that your line of work requires your full attention

so, despite how hard it can be at times, you limit your jokes and general shenanigans to the bare minimum so you can get the job done

and obviously it goes without saying that he does the same by shedding the name simon riley and becoming the infamous ghost

it was a bit startling for the team to witness this change at first

they honestly thought you two were mad at each other

but after the mission was said and done, you and simon started hanging out again and it just kinda clicked

simon probably uses you as an example to soap to be honest

anyway, point is

you both know how to keep your friendship out of the way in the field, you've practically mastered the art of it

but the moment you see him get into a knife fight with an enemy soldier on a mission, you can't help but worry

and you can't help the way your worry morphs into panic as you see a tiny red dot plant itself on his body as he finally drives his knife into the neck of the rival soldier

and you certainly can't help the way your feet seemingly begin to move on their own as you sprint toward ghost and practically ram him into the ground

and you most definitely can't help the yelp of pain that drops from your lips as you feel a searing hot pain rip through your lower abdomen

so much for those bullet proof vests

simon looks up from his position on the ground, knife in hand and ready to stab it into the poor soul dumb enough to tackle him like this

but then he sees you

he sees your face, eyes wide with shock and mouth agape

his eyes trail down your body and he swears his world nearly crashes as he stares at the dark red spot currently staining your shirt

he can only fear the faint sound of yet another gun going off before you're tumbling onto the ground

he snaps out of his daze to catch you and he can't help but feel horrified upon seeing another bullet wound lodged into your thigh

he can hold in his cry of agony and heartbreak as your breathing soon becomes labored and your eyes fill with tears

he gives your struggling form a once over before sucking in a sharp breath and dragging you to a nearby hill that was littered with enough rocks and boulders to offer shelter from the incoming storm of bullets

he settles your head onto his lap as he harshly barks out words you can't even begin to understand through the comms

you can barely register the way his hand gives your face a small smack

your eyes connect as he pulls a roll of gauze from his tactical backpack, "come on, kid. don't do this to me. just a bit longer."

even with the searing hot pain that was overruling all your other senses, you can't help but smile

you grab onto his inked forearm and he stops as he looks back at you, eyes wild and frantic

"hey simon?"

"what?"

"thanks for putting up with me."

your eyes begin to flutter open, a small hiss of discomfort escaping your mouth as you cringe at the bright overhead lights

you make a move to bring a hand up in front of your eyes to shield yourself form the harsh fluorescents, but stop your movements when the lights suddenly begin to dim

confused, you begin to look around the room only to see simon standing by a wooden door with his hand on what you assumed to be a light dimmer

he stares at you through the eye holes of his balaclava, "better?"

you offer him a nod paired with a small smile and open your mouth to offer your thanks but stop when he puts the lights back up to their full brightness causing you to let out a groan

you open your mouth once more to vocalize your complaints and throw a half-hearted insult his way, but stop when you hear the heavy footfall of simon's boots making their way over to your hospital bed

he comes to a stop by your bedside as he glares down at you, a swirl of emotions darkening his already hardened gaze

after giving your eyes a few moments to adjust he speaks, "you're the stupidest person i've ever fuckin' met."

your eyes widen as your jaw goes slack, "excuse me?"

he leans down and stops just a few inches short of your face, "i said you're stupid and i'd yank you off the field myself if i could."

you can feel your heart drop at his harsh tone but decide to soldier on, "you're in a good mood today, aren't ya?"

his eyes narrow and a growl of anger and frustration escape the lips hidden by his mask, "don't give me any of that shit, you know what you did."

you sigh, "i'm in a hospital bed, simon. i don't think i could've done any–"

you don't even get to finish your sentence before he's interrupting you, "why'd you do it?"

you stare up at him, confusion and annoyance evident on your face

"simon, what are y–"

he scoffs, "the fucking bullet! you took the fucking bullet! why'd you do that? what made you think that was a bloody good idea? do you have any fucking clue what you put this team – what you put me through?"

oh

right

your expression melts into one of sheepishness as you attempt to get in a word, but stop when simon decides to continue

"i had the situation handled, i could've taken care of myself! i'm smart, i'm capable, and i have years more experience than you do so tell me, i can handle myself! i don't need you steppin' in and throwin' yourself in front of bullets! you coulda fuckin' died!"

"simon–"

he points a finger in your face as he continues on with his rant, "no, you don't get to call me that, not anymore. from here on out, you either address me as ghost or lieutenant, nothing else until you can learn how to handle yourself on the field. we need soldiers, not daredevils. do you understand?"

you exhale, "no."

before he can continue with his angry tangent you sit up with a painful grimace and grab the pillow the pillow your head once rested upon and fling it at him

he narrowly dodges it and stares at you with a mix of rage and pure disbelief with a glare that practically screamed, "what the fuck."

hit block limit again. i'm afraid this may become a habit. anyway.

taking his silence as your cue to speak, you do just that, "okay fine, you're right. i probably shouldn't have tackled you down like that and taken a bullet for you, i probably should've remembered that you're a fully capable man with more experience than me, and i probably should've remembered that the field is no place to be playing favorites. you're right, i should've kept that all in mind but–"

you let out a small sigh as you avert your eyes to the think blanket draped over your body, "when i saw that gun pointed right at you i...i couldn't bring myself to care about any of that. at that moment, all i saw was you in danger and i couldn't have that so i did what i did. you can reprimand and punish me all you want for doing it, but i don't care. i stand by my actions."

simon eyes you for a few moments longer before grabbing onto a chair nearby and settling it beside your bed

you watch as he sits down with a small sigh, his eyes never leaving yours

"why?"

your brows knit together in confusion

"why what?"

"why'd you take a bullet–no, why'd you take two bullets for me? you and everyone else on this team know i could've handled it, so why?"

you frown, "because you're my friend, simon. why else?"

once those words leave your mouth, you're greeted with his blank ghost stare

again, he's just 👁️👁️

and you feel a small wave of concern wash over you

like

this is the same man who was torturing you with the bright fluorescent lights and lecturing you to hell just a few minutes ago and now he's just staring at you

still and silent as ever

you almost ask if he's okay, but stop yourself when he brings his large hand up to the edge of your hospital bed and begins inching it closer to yours before eventually resting it over yours

it's quiet for a few moments longer before he speaks in one of the quietest voices you've ever heard from him, "you took that bullet cause i'm your friend?"

you can't help but soften your own voice as you respond, "my best friend."

upon hearing you say that, simon can just feel the small well of tears that begin building up in his eyes

and as much as he wants to fight them off, he just can't

you, already being able to sense the internal war he's got going on inside his head, simply turn your hand so you can grip onto his and give it a firm squeeze

and by god he hates you for that

because now he can't help but disconnect your hands in favor of surging forward and wrapping his arms around you

you swear you can feel the small rumble of his shoulders as he tries and fails to conceal his quiet sniffles but you decide to overlook it because oh my god simon 'ghost' riley is crying in your arms and it's all your fault

so you decide it's best to just hold onto him as tight as you possibly can

he notices this and he just melts

what did he do to deserve you?

what overpowering force of life felt that he was good enough for the sunshine that is you?

who gave him the honor of being blessed with you?

he's not sure but quite frankly, he doesn't really care

not when you're holding onto him like your life depends on it

not when you pull back from the hug, look into his eyes, and offer him the brightest smile he's ever seen

and certainly not when you grab onto his hands and speak in that sweet honey voice of yours, "i'll always take a bullet for you. i can't lose you, simon."

jesus christ you're going to make his heart burst

he sucks in a small breath and squeezes onto your hands, "i can't lose you either, kid."

you only smile, "you won't, i'm always gonna be here with you."

words that once would've annoyed him to no end now set his cold heart alight

"you fuckin' better."

your smile widens and you lean forward to capture him in yet another hug

with his arms wrapped tightly around your body and you pressed up against him, he can't help but smile

it's definitely nice to have a friend

:)

[pinkyqil]

Can we get a fluffy night fic with gfn Jenni Hermoso?

Days with you // j.h x reader

Summary : jenni being the clingy gf she's

Author's note: hope you enjoyed reading this added a little twist to this and if it's anyone's brithday who's reading this well happy brithday and as always feedbacks are appreciated hope you all enjoyed reading this and have a great day

© PINKYQIL

You loved spending time with your girlfriend and today was no exception considering the fact you guys are on vacation after her many game schedules that limited your time with each other.

But you would always find a way to make up for missed time.

Today was really special to you as it was your birthday and jenni had organized a whole day filled with fun activities catered to your needs. she made sure your day went smoothly and was perfect for you.

The first half of your day was spent getting spoiled rotten by her you guys went shopping anything you glanced at she instead on buying it. when you tired carrying your shopping bags she beat you too it.

It wasn't that she was never attended but today she made sure you knew how much she loved and would worship the ground that you walked on.

While the of your day with her was spent doing intense workout that mostly you both enjoyed.

You got of the bed as quietly as you could not wanting to wake jenni up. Well you we're wrong the moment you moved from the bed to the bathroom she was just right next to you.

"amour go back to bed I'll be back soon". you told her.

"I'll go back when I got you back with me". she said wrapping her hands around your waist as you tried doing your skincare.

"You can wait there but no disturbing me hermoso". You told her firmly she knew your skincare routine was something you don't play around with.

"Fine".

You should've known jenni and patience was something that never went together cause it hasn't been a five minute mark and she's already interrupting you.

"Amour are you done yet?". She asked knowing damm well you hadn't even started

"No jenni". You answered her

"Are you done now?".

"Nope I just got started".

"How about now".

"Jenni hermoso if you ask me the same question again I'll lock you out of here". You threatened her this time around even though you wouldn't actually fo it.

"Fine".

You colsed the tap before grabbing jenni's hands and leading her back to you guys bedroom.

"querida you haven't even finished". She told you.

"I know but it's better to wait know other stuff deserve a handful amount of attention". You told her not wanting her to feel bad has she gets that way some times.

"Sí". She told you bit what you didn't expect was for her to literally swipe you off your own feet and carried you to bed.

"Hermoso be careful". You yelled surprised at her actions that should have been expected.

"You're fine amour". She said before placing you down and leaving a gentle kiss on lips as you both got to bed.

[dailyadventureprompts]

The Mechanics of Baldur's Gate 3

As someone who's constantly tinkering with the mechanics of my favourite RPG, I LOVE a lot of what Larian has done with D&D; not only accurately translating the base system but improving upon in ways I never thought of.

Playing BG3 feels good, and I want to see how much of their work I can adapt for my own table. As such, here's a breakdown of a bunch of little tweaks they've made to 5e (taken from the bg3 wiki) and whether or not I think they're a good fit for regular pencil and paper d&d.

Shove is not a part of the attack action. It is a bonus action available to all characters. Shove only pushes the target back an amount that depends on the shover's strength and the target's weight. It normally does not knock them prone unless they are shoved off a high ledge.

This might be THE best design Larian implemented and is instantly going in my games. Bonus action shoving is such a natural addition to combat, gives so many more tactical options. My one protest is that I am NOT calculating the weight of every creature and object ( mainly because I'm terrible at guessing weights for things) so I'd go with the distance calculation based on the creature's size and con score.

Gaining inspiration based on backgrounds

Gee, a mechanical reward for roleplaying your character, one that's way more straight forward than the DM arbitrated "ideals, bonds, flaws," system. From now on I'm going to give each of my players an upfront " You gain inspiration when you ______" note on their character sheet based on their backgrounds.

The party is limited to two short rests per long rest. Short rests restore each ally's hit points by an amount equal to half their maximum HP (rounded down). There is no hit die rolling. Long rests require camp supplies, which are food items that must be looted or purchased. In towns you will be able to rest at an inn.

This is a mixed bag for me only because I like hitdie as a mechanical abstract and I don't want to see them removed. Tbh I wish more mechanics interacted with them and they were called something abstract like "stamina" or something. That said I ADORE the camp supplies idea because it not only gives you something minor to reward exploration with besides GP. On the otherhand tracking all those supplies without the game's inventory management would be tedious as hell so it'd need to be highly simplified.

I especially like the idea of limited short rests/supplies in larger survival based adventures where time isn't at a premium like it is inside a dungeon.

If you hide while not in a creature's sight cone, you automatically succeed. If you try to hide while in a creature's sight cone, you automatically fail. If you are hidden and enter a creature's sight cone, you must roll stealth against the creature's passive perception. This may be a straight roll, advantage, or disadvantage, based on the creature's senses and the level of lighting. Some creatures with different senses such as blindsight may follow different rules

Congrats on fixing stealth rolls Larian. No notes.

LOTS more opinions under the cut.

When a creature is at least 10 ft above their target and makes a ranged attack, they receive a +2 bonus to the attack roll due to high ground. When a creature is at least 10 ft below their target and makes a ranged attack, they receive a -2 penalty to the attack roll due to low ground.

This is fine, and quite inline with a lot of fixes I've seen for flanking rules. I'm fine with a little extra battlefield math in order to make moments of advantage (spending inspiration, reckless attacking etc) shine.

The game does not stop a character from casting a leveled spell with both an action and a bonus action

Mixed on this, on one hand I've played enough clerics to know how much it sucks to have to use your bonus action to do a necessary spell and then be stuck with a so-so cantrip or melee attack for standard. On the other hand there's some design balance issues at play here.

Help is an Action. This ability allows characters to aid an ally in combat and remove negative Conditions. Using the help action on a downed ally brings them back to 1 hit point and leaves them prone.

Love the idea of help doing multiple things AND being a solution to minor status conditions. and giving everyone the ability to help means I can be a lot more aggressive when it comes to knocking character to 0. if I had to further patch this, I'd say that this also allows for a medicine check to allow a creature to spend a hitdie when they're downed, or allows the helping character to make a "SNAP OUT OF IT, WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS" charisma roll for charmed allies.

Jumping is a bonus action which consumes 10 ft of movement speed. With a Strength score of 10 or below, a creature can jump 15 ft, and this increases by 5 ft for every two points in strength above 10. At 20 Str a creature may spend 10 ft of movement speed and a bonus action to jump, and can travel 35 ft effectively increasing the creature's movement speed by up to 25 feet.

This, combined with the prone rules (see below) is JUICY, as it allows for risk-reward battlefield mobility . That said I'd add some caveats/clarifications: The jump always succeeds in moving you, but if you're taking damage, jumping up or down more than 10ft, or into rough terrain you need to make an acrobatics check not to beef it and fall prone (ending your turn). Your jump is likewise a buffer for how far you can willingly fall before taking damage, but if you fall after your jump, you always land prone.

Weapon actions, 'nough said.

It's more complexity than I'd give to first time players but HOT DAMN if it isn't a great idea to give the martial characters some options instead of just making the same attacks over and over again. I've actually been sockpiling 3rd party versions of this for a while now and I can't wait to add them in.

All The conditions are great:

Blinded: In addition to the other effects, ranged attacks are limited to 15 ft range. Blinded creatures can also make opportunity attacks.

Frightened: Creatures which are frightened are unable to move at all (rather than being unable to move toward the source of their fear), unless the effect instead makes them "fearful" which gives them the frightened effect as well as making them flee.

Prone: Being prone gives disadvantage on Strength and Dexteritysaving throws, attacks against a prone creature have advantage out to a range of 10 ft rather than 5 ft, and ranged attacks against a prone creature do not have disadvantage. Your character cannot do anything while prone. Starting the turn while prone will cause you to automatically use half your movement to stand up. Becoming prone during your turn automatically ends your turn.

Wet: This is a new condition that prevents the character from burning (e.g. from Searing Smite) and grants resistance to fire damage, but also makes the creature vulnerable to lightning and cold damage

[sagencelestient]

Love in the Storm

⋆☆.⭒.~~Genre: Smut!

afab!virgin!reader x dom!Scaramouche (Not wanderer, but they're basically the same person)

⋆☆.⭒.~~Warnings: Fingering(?), Giving head, Intercourse, and some degradation

-⋆☆.⭒.~⋆☆.⭒.~⋆☆.⭒.~⋆☆.⭒.~⋆☆.⭒.~⋆☆.⭒.~-

You definitely didn’t think this was how you were going to spend the night. You listened to howling winds and the absolute pouring rain that was outside the small cave you and Scaramouche found. The storm didn’t show any signs of stopping, so you and him were definitely going to be stuck in here for some time.

The fact that you thought that everything was going to be fine too! You and Scaramouche were paired up for a mission before all this happened… Well, the only thing you can do is to wait it out.

You were very ill-prepared for this, as your bag had a limited amount of food, and the clothes you were currently wearing weren’t the best choice for the rapidly dropping temperatures of the cave. And with no means to light a fire, your only choice was to pace in circles to try and conserve as much heat as you can.

“My god, COULD YOU STOP WALKING AROUND?!” Scaramouche chided, “Your footsteps are getting annoying. Just sit still. Are you really that pathetic as to not even be able to stay still for a few minutes?”

“I’m just trying to keep warm, okay!?” You shot back at him. The cold was getting on your nerves, and he would soon be too.

You continued to walk around, ignoring what he said earlier.

“When’s this rain going to be over anyway? This is wasting my time. And you’re making the time pass by slower!” 

“So then? Help me find a way to warm up without moving! We can’t make a fire or anything, and I don’t have any spare blankets! So what do you expect me to do? Cuddle with you or something?!” You retorted.

“I wouldn’t touch you with a metre-long stick, you know,” Scaramouche spat out.

Suddenly, an idea popped into your head on how to warm up. Maybe you should try to get him to cuddle with you. You begin to walk toward him, before throwing yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck, and sitting on his lap.

“Hey- What are you-” Scaramouche spluttered, turning a bit red, “Get off of me!”

“Nah. Since you didn’t give me any more ideas, this is my solution.” You said while smirking. 

Though you did notice that he wasn’t any warmer than the cave you were in, but you weren’t gonna give him the satisfaction of getting off of him, so you stayed put.

Surprisingly, he didn’t make any attempts to shove you off of him, so that was a good sign. You two stayed like that for a few moments— you hugging him, and him being frozen in place, before you noticed something poking at you.

So you unwrapped your arms around his neck to look down and confirm your suspicions.

“You- you’re kidding me right?” You said in disbelief, “How can you have a- a that right now?!”

“...I told you to get off of me.”

An unbearable silence stretches out for a couple of moments. What could you even say in this situation? Well… you could hel- no. Who knows how Scaramouche will react to that? He may be disgusted and never interact with you again! You don’t want that!

But maybe it’s worth a shot..? Maybe? Might as well ask, right?

“So, um, do you… need help with that?” You asked, stumbling over your words a bit.

“What did you just say?” Scaramouche asked, sounding amused. While he was saying that, you noticed a smirk appearing on his face.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Was he mad? Was he into this? 

“Hm? What’s that look on your face for?” he whispered into your ear, “You were the one that asked that, you know?”  

You feel his breath against you and you start feeling warm. Very warm. You suppose your “method” of warming up worked after all.

“Hmm? Cat got your tongue?” He teased.

After a couple of seconds, you respond.

“W- would you like help or not?” You manage to get out. You could feel your face flushing up with embarrassment as you mutter out those words.

“Well,” he responded, “since it is your fault-”

“I guess I should then,” You interrupt, hopping off of his lap, and onto the ground.

“Desperate, aren’t you? Worried I’d change my mind?” 

You ignore his mockery as you move in front of him, staring at the bulge he had.

It was right there… right there…

You look up at him, waiting for him to give you any sign of permission.

“Go ahead, I’m waiting,” he responded, looking down at you.

You sheepishly begin to move your hand to the waistband of his pants, pulling it down, and freeing his dick from its confines.

You experimentally put your hand on it, and stroked. Scaramouche tensed slightly as you did that, and you scootched a bit closer to him to be able to do what you were about to do. 

You held it close to your mouth, giving it a kitten lick.

“Hurry up! We don’t have all day!”

You scoffed at that, “We most certainly do, considering outside has gone to shit right now,” 

You still decided to indulge him though, putting the tip in your mouth, and sucking. He inhaled sharply at that, thrusting his hips a bit. You’re only able to get in a few more inches before you start to gag a bit. Scaramouche didn’t disappoint in that aspect. You wrap your hands around the parts that weren’t encased in your mouth, and you start to slowly bob your head up and down on it.

He groaned at the sensation of you sucking him off, gripping your hair ever so slightly. You continued on, doing the best you can. Suddenly, he thrusted hard, his dick hitting the back of your throat, causing you to gag.

He continued to basically throat-fuck you, while you were trying your best to multi-task trying to breathe, and trying to suck Scaramouche off, and make him feel good.

“Breathe through your nose, dear,” he said.

You glared at him as if trying to say: “Thanks a lot, genius, didn’t know that.”

Scaramouche kept on thrusting in your mouth, and at some point, his thrusts got sloppier.

Oh shit, he was about to cum, wasn’t he?

And with a final snap of his hips, he did, filling your mouth with the warm sticky liquid. You removed your mouth from his dick, wiping the sticky fluid off of your lips with your tongue and swallowing it down.

“Satisfied now?” You asked.

“Well yes, but there is one more thing you could do…” Scaramouche said, his eyes glinting slyly, but you hear a tinge of hopefulness in his voice.

“Oh? Like what?”

He glanced down at his dick, before looking at your… area.

You burned at the realization of what he meant.

“I- W-What?!” You stammered, “You can’t be serious, right?”

He shrugged, “Well if you don’t wanna, we won’t.”

“Well, I do.”

A look of surprise materialized on Scaramouche’s face.

“What?” You said, “ I sucked you off a few minutes ago, why not go all the way?”

He smiled mischievously at you, “Well, I wasn’t expecting you to accept so fast. Were you waiting all this time for this opportunity, just to have sex with me?”

“Wh- what?! No!” you say, caught off-guard by the question, though you could already feel a wet patch forming.

“Really?” he hummed, reaching towards the hem of your pants. 

You put your hand on his, and pull it down, revealing your panties. He smiles, and notices the wet patch forming down there.

“Wet already? Are you sure you weren’t waiting for the opportunity?” he teased with a smirk, before sitting you on his lap and moving his hand closer to your pussy.

You felt him touch it, and it sent shivers down your spine. 

“Is it your first time?” He questioned.

“W- well…” you trail off, “it is. I- I haven’t really lost my virginity yet…”

Right as you said that, your breath hitched. You felt him slide his fingers onto your panties, massaging your pussy from the outside. It was slow at first, but he began gradually speeding up. He then moved up to your clit, and your breath hitched again. Was it… supposed to feel this good…? Not only that, but his other hand was busy fondling your breast. His touch was so light and soft, yet rough at the same time. It felt like heaven. His pace quickened on your pussy, as he sensed that you were about to release.

“S- Scara! I- I’m going to-” you start, but you quickly feel the sensation that you were just feeling leaving, as quick as it came.

You look down, and you notice that he had removed his hand from the surface of your panties. His fingers were covered in your slick, even though he hadn’t touched under. You look at him in a mix of disappointment and longing. 

“Why? Why’d you stop?” you ask, desperate for him to continue.

He smiles.

“If you want me to continue, dear, you better beg for it,” Scaramouche answered, whispering in your ear.

“B- beg?” you asked.

“Get on your knees, take off your panties, open your legs, and tell me how much you want me,” Scaramouche directed, “and tell me how long you’ve been waiting for this moment. And don’t lie. I know you’ve been waiting for a while, darling!”

“Wh- I- I can’t-” you stammered, noticing a bulge appearing in his pants once again.

“Your choice.”

You are unsure what to do. It’s so embarrassing, doing something like that. But at the same time, you could feel the heat building up down here. It was throbbing. You need some relief right now, and the answer to your troubles was right there, in front of you. 

You gulped, swallowing your pride, as you obeyed. Your panties drop to the floor, and you lay down, opening up your legs so Scaramouche could see how wet you were for him. 

“P- please… Scaramouche, I need you…” you beg, “I- I was waiting for this moment for so- so long, I’ve always wanted you, so- so please, put it in me…”

You were obviously desperate, and so he pulled down his pants and boxers, revealing his hard dick once again. You wondered if all of it would even be able to fit. It’s big, to say the least. He comes closer to you, placing his tip right at your entrance.

“What a whore!” he laughed, “But so cute too… since you’re being good, I’ll give you a gift.”

It hurt at first. Only at first. Your eyes widened as his length slowly penetrated your pussy, taking your virginity in the process. You needed a moment to catch your breath, trying to get used to the feeling of his cock inside you. After you adjusted to the feeling, slowly, you motioned to him to start moving. 

He started off slow, of course, allowing you to enjoy the feeling of his cock slipping in and out of you. He then leaned over, entangling his hand in your hair, and started kissing you. His lips were so soft, yet he was violent with it. Your tongues intertwined as your saliva mixed, and strung out when you pulled apart. As he thrusted into you, a hand of his was playing with one of your soft boobs and his mouth was sucking all over your neck, sure to leave marks the next day.

“You look so hot right now…” Scaramouche muttered under his breath, “I love you so much, y/n.”

You moaned as Scaramouche quickened his pace. You felt as if you were going to cum. Desperate to reach your high, you grinded onto him as well, getting a little bit of extra stimulation to send gooey white liquid out of you.

“C- cum inside…” you say, right as Scaramouche follows, releasing his warm seed into you. You could feel it filling you up, as your eyes roll back in pleasure. You were barely able to think, yet you were still longing for more.

“A- ah… It’s all inside,” you say, weakly, “I- I think you can… do it… harder this time, since I kinda k- know what to expect now,” you mouth, barely making a noise.

But Scaramouche heard you, and he was glad to give you what you wanted. After all, you were such a good girl today, just for him.

⋆☆.⭒.~La Fin!~⋆☆.⭒.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hey, allo anon with an ace partner here. I wanted to say thank you so much for the well wishes! I figured I would send this in here again, so anyone else who is curious about what this experience looks like from the other side can see it.

My girlfriend came out to me a little over 2 years into our relationship. At the time it surprised me a lot, because she'd never given me any signs that she wasn't enjoying what we were doing. After we talked more I understood that she wasn't repulsed by sex and she didn't hate it, but she didn't really love it either and wanted to stop doing it for a while (so a sex-neutral ace).

Honestly, at the time, I did get anxious about it. Not just because of social conventions, but because I had viewed sex as an important bonding part of our relationship. I don't do well with change, and I was super worried about how a lack of sex would change our dynamic. I also had some insecurities about my own body, and my girlfriend admitting that she didn't see me as sexy was upsetting. But after speaking to my therapist, I realized that I was projecting my own issues on to the relationship. So I spoke with her again, and she reassured me that she wanted to be with me, and that she was confiding these feelings because she trusted me. She likes how I look, she just doesn't have the same sexual impulses I do.

So, I realized this was pretty much like cuddling. I love physical touch a lot, and I want to cuddle for a much longer time than she does. I like it when someone lies on top of me. She doesn't want me on top of her chest during cuddling. She still cuddles with me, but she tells me when she's satisfied, and we stop.

A few months went by, and I noticed that she wasn't spending any less time with me; she was actually spending more. We would still call every evening when we didn't meet up in person, we would still joke around, and she still told me she loved me and did everything she could to show it to me. We also began trying out new stuff together, and playing games and watching stuff more often. We also still had plenty of physical intimacy with things like cuddling and kissing, which made me really happy.

I realized that I didn't feel like anything was missing from the relationship. I just needed her to show and tell me she loved me in the ways she normally did. Sure, I am still attracted to her that way, but it wasn't something that would make or break the relationship.

It's been years since she came out, and at this point, I never expect anything sexual. It happens rarely, and I always check in with her multiple times before and during. We stop at any point she tells me. There are quite a few hard boundaries about what is and isn't off limits, and I always keep them in mind. I would rather satisfy myself forever than make her uncomfortable, and she knows it.

It's been over 5 years and we are still going strong. I am hoping to ask her to marry me in the next few years, because honestly, I can't picture wanting anyone else by my side. She is kind, funny, beautiful, intelligent, and treats me well. I could never ask for anything more from a partner.

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing. I myself definitely lack knowledge of what it feels like from an allo's perspective, so this was very educational for me, but beyond that... You have no idea how much hope this gives me.

From you being aware of how much sex meant to you in the context of your relationship and still being fine without it, to just... Heck, even your therapist for not blaming her for the situation. Therapy is still very much, in my country at least, an area where the absence or lower levels of sexual attraction will be hastily labelled as something wrong physically or mentally, so... Yeah, the amount of relief I felt reading that, you have no idea. And I can only imagine how much your partner appreciates it too.

Honestly I teared up a bit reading this - I sincerely wish you guys all the best and I hope you have a bright future ahead! (Also fun fact, seems you guys have been together as long as my partner and I have, it's nice to be able to relate to that too hehe^^)

[justfandomwritings]

An essay on why I won’t be watching next season.

1. Obviously actors have to promote their shows and hype them up. But the interactions between Nicola and Luke during the press tour were, in retrospect, clearly also acting performances, and it is rare to see acting within the press tour to the degree that those two put on while grossly exaggerating things like how sexy this season would be or how much Polin we would get. I don’t blame them. It’s clearly what they were told to do. And it’s fine to hype a show, but I think a lot of people felt genuinely lied to with the WAY this season was hyped.

2. The casting has been color conscious and inclusive in a way I greatly admire. But they have not been inclusive in other ways. And that’s not to say they should have to be. One show shouldn’t bear the responsibility of being inclusive to everyone and making up for an industries worth of exclusion. But we have exactly one size inclusive character in this whole show, and I’m not even demanding more, but to butcher the season of the only size inclusive person in this show this badly and in these ways sends me a clear message of what the writers thought they could get away with with a curvy actress and how they saw her.

3. The wait times for this season and next season are just too long. The hype dies down too much between seasons such that we care less and less each time we get a new one, especially when you only give eight episodes, regardless of their length. You know who also gave us a season in 2022 and then an eight episode season this year? house of the dragon. And they have to CGI a fuck ton of dragons. Yall were sitting on this season being done filming for over a year and for what? What did you do in post? A bee? And then to have the audacity to do it in two parts? Fuck off.

4. Add to that. The costumes and new sets looked so much cheaper this season than previous seasons. Where did the budget go.

5. The plot is too crowded. Maybe you thought a curvy girl couldn’t carry a season. Maybe it was bad writing. Obviously you needed Cressida and Eloise to have decent amounts of screen time but you also did half of Francesca’s story and set one up for Violet and Benedict that collectively took the majority of the screen time and left us with very little Pen and Colin. Which was a disservice you never gave Anthony or Daphne’s seasons and was why they were good. We got enough crumbs of the others to tell us what was happening but not enough to make them feel like main characters or to make it feel like an ensemble show. There were leads in season 1 and 2. This season it was an ensemble with too many moving parts. But everyone’s said that. It’s not surprising.

6. My biggest problem is the tone. The blame. Admittedly I’m a woman who relates strongly to Penelope so I’m not impartial here. But for a character who spends her entire life being abused by every single person in this show, who is pushed to her absolute breaking point before finally giving her mother and the tonne a taste of their own medicine. For that character to receive no grace, no understanding, no respect, for the vast majority of the season hurt. To not only have zero understanding of her situation but to frame the entire plot of the show around the fact that SHE alone should be sorry. To have minimal to no groveling from Colin over what he said last season, to have no acknowledgment of how he treated her as a safety net, to humanize Cressida who made her life hell with minimal acknowledgment of that fact, to have Eloise get ONE comment from Cressida of all people about her friendship with Penelope but no real reflection from Eloise or acknowledgment on her part or apologies for what a truly SHIT friend she was for DECADES. That hurt. Because the message is that sure, they can push you to your fucking limit, you can break after years of being bullied for your weight and your looks and your status. Your own mother and sisters hands can be filthy with insults and abuse. Your friends can treat you like utter garbage for years. They can befriend your bullies. Your soon to be husband can, very recently, insult you to his friends behind your back. But you owe them the apology for breaking after years of abuse. It’s not that the tonne couldn’t be angry or that they all should’ve fallen at Pen’s feet. It’s that those arguments never happen at all because once again, just like when she was being used and abused by everyone, everything was put on Penelope. And the cycle continues.

7. Colin should’ve groveled more. I know I said that in the previous point but it really ruined things for me so I want to emphasize it. I wanted that man on his knees the whole season, and I should’ve known I wasn’t gonna get that when y’all dropped the list of songs and there wasn’t any of the A List Yearners on the list. But I’m still mad.

8. Actually that’s a good point. Did anyone else think the songs didn’t go as hard this year? Except Pitbull were we excited about any of them?

9. You did the Pride and Prejudice ballroom trick with the dancing alone thing and you didn’t nail it. If you’re gonna do that trick it has to fucking HIT. (And it has to be enemies to lovers.) And you did it half assed. You should be ashamed.

10. There was a two second window there when Cressida asked the maid for help where I thought they were gonna swap lives and the maid would go with her aunt and Cressida would become a maid and I was like “holy fuck is Cressida gonna become Bennys love interest?” and that would’ve been better than what y’all did I think. And it would’ve justified her excessive screen time.

11. I love gender swapping Michaela and making Francesca bi. We love it. But why was Francesca immediately interested. Once again the writers don’t understand pining. Michaela is PINING for Francesca and can do nothing but love her from afar. Francesca loved John completely and whole heartedly. Michaela was a beautiful love story for her but was also a second chance. She loved John completely. She would never have an emotional affair on him. How did you immediately ruin such a beautiful second chance romance?

12. Where was Pen’s friendship with Anthony or Lady Danbury? Why wasn’t Colin proud of Pen the way he was in the book? To make her even more alone? To emphasize that she was alone and at fault and helpless? Fuck off.

I just don’t have it in me to watch this show deteriorate further.

[footballerimaginess]

Fluff Alphabet | Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! Here is a a fluff alphabet with Joao Felix, hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think of it. Word Count: 1,347 ADVENT CALENDAR - You and Joao were like little children and had to get advent calendar's each year, each year you'd get chocolate but this year Joao made you a book calendar and he wrapped them all up and left them out in the mornings for you to collect. It was the cutest thing anyone had ever done for you.

BAKING - There were so many new recipes that you wanted to try, there were just so many you'd seen on TikTok that you wanted to make and you knew you had so much time and were ready to prepare some sweet treats for Christmas. CHRISTMAS DAY - As this season you were back in Spain, you were so excited to be celebrating in Spain with his family coming over and you were just so excited to be with everyone DECORATIONS - "There are just so many decorations here, why do you need even more?" he asked as you shook your head. "I dunno, I am obsessed with just picking up new decorations. They are cute right?" you showed him as you took the new sparkly lights in the box. "I guess, but we don't need anymore" he moaned again. EMOTIONAL - When Joao handed you your presents, you were feeling extra emotional. "This is for you" he smiled as he sat down beside you as he watched you pulling the ribbon off of the box. "Shit is this what I think it is" you muttered as you opened it up and it was the bag you had dreamed of for years. FOOD - "We just have so much food" you laughed as you plated up. "It all looks so good" you grinned as you watched as everyone played up. Smiling away as you were just so proud of how you had achieved so much in one morning. GENEROUS - You were just so generous at Christmas and had to buy so many gifts and never stuck with the spending limit. Christmas was one time of the year where you had to really treat everyone. HOT CHOCOLATE - You and Joao were snuggled up on the sofa together as you were sipping on your hot chocolates that you had just made. Laying under the blanket as you were watching Christmas films. ICE SKATING - One of your traditions is going ice skating with Joao. Despite the both of you being absolutely shocking, you still loved going yet embarrassing yourself was a talent in itself. JOY - Seeing your family all together at this time of the year was just so joyful and it was always the most amazing get together's. KITCHEN - The kitchen was a complete mess, there was just so much stuff around, where you hadn't cleaned up at all. "How can one person make this much of a mess when you are only cooking for two people?!?" you turned around as you looked at the mess. "I know it is crazy, I just kept picking up dishes and making stuff" you laughed. "I suppose you'll have to be helping me" you smirked. "Hmm, don't think so LOVE - You and Joao were so in love, this year was the first proper year where you had time to relax and just enjoy Christmas whilst you were resting and taking it easy. MARKETS - "Ooh look at those churros, can we get those?" you asked Joao as you pointed to the stand. "yes sure, but what else do you want? because that smells so good" you muttered. "Fine let's go and see what else we can get. Everything looks and smells so nice" he grinned.

NORTH POLE - You and Joao were going to Lapland, you had hinted at wanting to go for ages now. "This is so magical, but my god it is sooo cold" you shivered as you felt like you were just so cold and had no way of warming up as you grabbed his hand as tightly as you possibly could. "I feel like this is what it would be like if we went to the north pole" you let out a laugh and immediately regretted it as it was just so cold you were frozen. OUTFIT - Your Christmas outfit just needs to be comfy, it was all about your comfy clothes at this time especially as you were eating so much yummy food.

PRESENTS - The amount of presents underneath Christmas were crazy considering there were only a handful of you here for Christmas. "This is madness babe, think we went overboard" you smirked. "Nope, never" you giggled. QUEUE - The queues for the shops were just insane, all you wanted was a last few minute Christmas presents and you had been standing here for about 35 minutes now and you couldn't wait any longer. But it was slowly worth it. REINDEER - "What are all the reindeers called?" Joao asked as you were watching it on the tv. "Rudolph, prancer that is all i can remember" you laughed as you grabbed your phone and decided to google the reindeer's names. "I, Vixen and Cupid" you told him. "There are 9 but I could have sworn there was way more than that" you laughed as you showed all of the names. "There was no way I was going to remember all of that" you laughed. SNOW - A white Christmas is all that you wanted, you were just so happy and it was just so incredible. "Wow J, look how beautiful it looks. I have never seen snow at Christmas time, it is just so beautiful" you whispered as you watched the large snowflakes falling down as it hit the window. TINSEL - "What is this?" you turned around and saw Joao holding tinsel in his hand. "Tinsel?" you looked at him confused as you knew he had seen it before. "You know what it is right?" you asked as you turned to face him. "Yes but what is the purpose of it?" you shrugged as you didn't know yourself. "I dunno, just decoration. It always makes me think of my Nan so that is why I have to have some in the house" you smiled as Joao nodded, knowing how much she meant to you. UP (couldn't think of anything lol) - One of your favourite things to do was watch dinsey movies at Christmas. Your choice of film this year was UP, it was one of your absolute favourites and I just couldn't wait to watch it. Joao would moan because you never ever picked his favourite film which annoyed him, but this time it was your choice. VOICE - You hated singing and wasn't going to even attempt to sing, but Joao loved singing even though he always told you that he hated his singing voice. But you'd always catch him singing a Christmas song or two. WINTER WONDERLAND - When you were in London with Joao, you really loved going to winter wonderland. So when Joao had a break for a few days, you headed to London so you could go to winter wonderland. "This is so much fun, I am just glad we could do this again. Feels weird that we were in London for only one season, I miss being here" you replied as you walked around. "Course I miss it too, shame it didn't work out for us" he shrugged. Xxx - Christmas was the best time to be with family and you were so excited to have your own family one day and make Christmas even more special. YOU - You and Joao were so happy this Christmas, it felt different. Last year was completely different from being in England for the first time. You were excited to do something different but this time you felt so content with life and was so excited for the year. Zzz - Christmas was so hectic that all you wanted to do was sleep, you had to have a small little nap on the sofa whilst Joao sorted all his presents out because he had to get rid off all the boxes straight away. You just napped your Christmas away.

[dwtdog]

fem dnf week day 3 :P

--

“Hey Dream,” George says out of the blue, leaning forward from where she’d been relaxing against the couch cushions, phone held lazily above her face. Dream’s head is in her lap, her eyes fluttering slowly open when George calls her name. “Oh shit, were you asleep?”

Dream yawns, lips stretching over her oddly sharp canines, before answering. “Mm- no. Was just resting.”

“That’s good,” George smiles down at her, tracing a finger along her hairline. Dream looks to be on the verge of actually falling asleep, and George has half a mind to let her- her girlfriend is always working too hard, rarely giving herself moments to rest. But out of the corner of her eye, George sees the TikTok that had inspired her original thought still playing on loop, and it gives her the conviction to ask. “Do you want to do something?”

“Like what?” Dream asks, tilting her head back against George’s leg to chase after her fingers as they hover just over her. George obligingly pets through her hair, careful not to tug too hard on messy curls. 

“Like you let me do your makeup,” George says, shutting her phone off with a little click. “And you can’t give me any advice.”

That gets a small smile out of Dream. “You just want an excuse to touch my face,” she says accusingly. 

George pokes her eyebrow. “What, like I have been for the past few minutes?”

“Exactly,” Dream giggles. “I think you like me. Maybe you even have a crush on me.”

“Well you’re the freak who let’s me touch her face even if you’ll complain about breaking out. You’re obsessed with me,” George pokes her cheek this time. 

“What, you want me to stop?” Dream pouts, lips comically turned to a frown. “I think you don’t.”

“I plead the fifth.”

“You’re British, you can’t,” 

George huffs. “Fine, whatever. I hate you, and I’m leaving you here. No more pillow. I’ll steal your makeup and use it on myself.”

“Now that I’d like to see,” Dream says, sitting up and freeing George’s legs. “But fine. You do my makeup, no help whatsoever. But you have to let me try your guitar.”

George groans. “Ugh, fine. I guess that’s fair. But if you break it you’re buying me a new one. A better one.”

“What, that’s no fair,” Dream says. “I’m letting you use all my fancy shit with no guarantees.”

“You sound like an advert.”

“You started it!” George shoots back, earning a confused look for Dream as she, as a matter of fact, had not started it. “Whatever, come on. Or I’m going to eat the fancy lipstick you’re always talking about.”

Dream stands quickly, eyes darting between the door to her room and George, who follows suit and stands as well. They’re close, George having stood almost directly into Dream’s chest, which makes both of them blush. 

In a rather devious move, George darts forward, standing on her toes to place a quick kiss on Dream’s cheek, before turning and running for the bedroom door. Dream takes a moment to chase after her, the kiss a suitable distraction, and George gleefully pulls the door open, heading straight for the vanity, and all of Dream’s normally off-limits makeup.

It’s a rarity in their relationship, for anything to be unshared. But Dream is very particular about her makeup, because it’s a collection she’d curated for years- one of the few things she ever let herself spend large amounts of money on. She’d been shy the first time she’d told George about it, as if expecting her to judge the expansive collection. 

But George had been in awe, completely enamored with her girlfriend’s technical skill at the craft, and how cute she got when she talked about things she was passionate about.

Dream had done George’s makeup a million times before- George didn’t like the feel of it all that much, a bit of a sensory nightmare for her, but she enjoyed Dream’s hands and her gentle touch, so she endured. They’d found a fix eventually, something that had started as a joke- Dream would use clean, dry brushes on George, explaining the colors and products she’d use if she really were doing her makeup.

It’s the only basis of knowledge George has for her current endeavor, but she’s hopeful that her determination will make up for her lack of knowledge.

She’s really not even that sure why she’s so driven to do it all of a sudden. The TikTok had been cute, sure, small touches between a couple who seemed absolutely enamored with each other. It was something about the way they’d looked at each other that had made George misty eyed and wanting, and Dream had been right there.

So here she is, in front of the huge mirror that hangs over the equally ludicrous vanity, covered in all sorts of products. She’s already lost, in tubes and brushes that seem indistinguishable from each other.

Dream appears behind her, arms wrapping around her waist- a common position for them. She rests her head on George’s shoulder, swaying them slightly as they look, together, at the display before them.

It takes George’s breath away, to see them pressed together like this. She likes the way Dream’s hands look hooked in front of her stomach, the way their hair brushes in a mix of dark and light. 

But she has a mission. 

“Sit,” she commands, stepping away. Dream whines, but she goes to pull the chair from the desk, spinning it around to sit and still be able to face George. “Good job,” George adds cheekily, nudging Dream’s knee with her own as she approaches the desk, eyes scanning for a place to start. 

She can feel the way Dream is itching to give her advice with the way she shifts in the chair, socked feet pulling her closer to the desk. George grabs a tube of lipstick.

In the mirror, she sees Dream bite her lip, eyes flicking between the lipstick in George’s hand and her face in the reflection. 

George, not one to be stopped by judgemental girlfriends, pops the top off the tube and twists it up, turning to face Dream with her eyes squinted in concentration. 

“Do this,” she demands, pursing her lips like a fish. Dream takes a moment to comply, making a few more pointed glances between the lipstick and some other, nondescript tube that George had written off as irrelevant, before finally copying George. 

George is careful as she smudges the lipstick along Dream’s lips, wary of damaging it for all her teasing. It hardly seems to work, coming out in patchy bits. She frowns, but keeps trying. She can see Dream already trying not to laugh, her shoulders shaking lightly with it. 

When the lipstick ends up on Dream’s skin, just above her top lip, it’s both their faults. George pulls back, frowning at Dream. Dream just blinks up at her innocently. “What? Did you do it?”

“I did- something,” George says, rubbing at the mess with her thumb. It works, surprisingly, and she sets the lipstick down to peruse her other options. “This is harder than I thought it would be,” she announces after a moment, turning to glare at Dream like its her fault George had gotten the idea in her head.

That softens Dream’s expression. “Yeah, it can be a lot at first. Look- do you want me to show you?” Her voice gets all shy, like it did the first time she’d talked about this with George. 

George melts. “Please,” she says, setting down the palette she’d picked up. “Just- walk me through the eye makeup. I always like it when you do it.”

“Okay,” Dream says, beaming. “It’s kind of tricky, but you have a steady hand which is half the battle.”

Nodding, George picks up a different palette, this one all shades of blue. They seem to glow in the light of the room. 

“That’s the palette I used for our first date,” Dream says. “Since you said you were colorblind I figured it would look the best because- y’know.”

“Oh,” George says, breathless. “Can I use it, then? On you?”

“Of course,” Dream scoots closer, until her knees are wrapped around George’s. “But you’ll want to do a primer first.”

She’s a good teacher, walking George through the process with methodical steps. She points out all the products, and explains what they do just like she does when she does George’s makeup, but it’s easier for George to remember when she’s the one using them, touching them, seeing the colors come to life with every touch. 

Her hands are steady, but she does mess up a few times. Dream only smiles, saying it’s a good chance to explain the best way to fix mistakes, and walks her through it. 

Finally, they get to the last step, which Dream says is the most important element.

“You’ve got to seal the deal,” she explains seriously, looking up at George through her lashes, now clumped with mascara. George hadn’t gotten that part quite right, too afraid to hurt Dream by hitting her in the eye. 

“Didn’t we already do the spray-thingy?” George asks, confused. Dream smirks.

“No, that’s not it,” she says. “It’s a special final step, for when you’re doing you’re girlfriends makeup. Super important.”

George wracks her brain, thinking back to the countless times she’d been on the opposite end of this treatment. The problem is, by the end of it she’s usually sleepy and love drunk, overwhelmed by all the small touches used to build the final look, or the pretend version of one. 

“I got nothing,” she admits at last, tapping her fingers against the wood of the vanity. 

Dream stands, and now it’s George’s turn to look up at her. “You seal it with a kiss, idiot,” she says, her tone not at all consistent with her words- honey sweet, dripping from messy red lips. 

George giggles, taking Dream’s hands in hers. She has to admit, the final look is passable, especially from this angle. 

Dream’s lips are warm against hers, the lipstick slightly sticky. George uses their joined hands to pull Dream closer until they’re pressed together, all hot bodies and muffled sighs as George demands more, pressing her lips harder against Dream’s, running her tongue over her lips. There’s a bit of a fascinating almost plastic taste, and George chases it.

When they break apart to breathe, George chokes back a laugh. If the lipstick had been messy before, it’s a downright tragedy now, 

But Dream is laughing too, her eyes fixed on George’s lips. George whirls to see her reflection in the mirror, groaning when she sees her reflection- an equally disastrous look, and she’d managed to get some of the stuff on her teeth.

“You can be in charge of makeup from now on,” Georeg declares, rubbing furiously at her face with the back of her hand. Dream stops her with gentle fingers on her wrist, shaking her head as she guides it away. 

“Thanks baby, and here I was thinking you’d be taking my job,” she teases. George drops her head against Dream’s shoulder, groaning. “But seriously,” Dream adds, bringing a hand up to rest on George’s head. “You weren’t so bad. Really! You have potential.”

George just shakes her head, the fabric of Dream’s shirt soft against her forehead. “You’re just saying that ‘cause you’re my girlfriend and you have to be nice to me.”

“If I had to be nice to you I’d let you win in Minecraft more,” Dream says in the same sweet voice, and George just sighs. She wouldn’t trade this idiot for the world. 

[usmsgutterson]

Hi! I’m here to send in a request for platonic crows x reader where the reader can shapeshift - The main thing I was thinking of was just kinda friendship w the crows in general and their reactions to different things they learn about reader overtime and what they first though about reader vs now. Also here’s some ideas I’ve had about reader for if you do choose to do this request that might help!

-> I feel like reader would probably be able to change their body to be able to take on like a half form of things so like they could give them-self ears or something and depending on if they have a ‘Main form’ of sorts they could probably have some of the features of that thing like idk enhanced hearing or their good at being quiet/Sneaky.

-> Also I imagine that they might get like aches if they haven’t done it in a long while just based on the fact that in a way it’s like changing your bones/Bone structure if that makes sense so if they do it too much (Like an unhealthy amount like every single day for hours on end) Or haven’t done it in a long time they’d get aches n stuff

-> and also (Last thing I promise) They would probably use smaller/Quieter forms to scare/sneak up on people and just be an overall menace rlly

And of course if you aren’t interested in doing this request that’s fine too! Just let me know ^^ hope you have a wonderful day! :]

(Also could I be an anon? If so could I be 🍒Anon?)

Platonic! Crows x gn! Shapeshifter! Reader Headcanons

Hi! You can totally be the cherry anon if you want, that's cool with me! I'm sorry it took me a bit to see this, I've been writing requests from the bottom of my inbox to the top of it lately so that I could get the oldest requests done first, and seeing this in my inbox, I just knew I'd have a blast! I was right, writing this was so much fun.

I did it as headcanons to keep the fic from breaching a 15k word limit which I knew I'd get to if I let myself and I didn't want this fic to run too long! I hope that that's all right with you and if not, I apologize and I can rewrite if you'd like me to!

Fic type- fluff

Warnings-mentions of tarantulas, flies (the reader once turns themself into a fly on the wall) and spiders

(no gif because I sadly couldn't find one of the crows on the rooftop)

Okay, so!

Your status as a shapeshifter is kind of just...known amongst the crows? 

Like, they all know about it and it just kind of exists as another one of your attributes. It’s not a big deal, and nobody has ever really made it out to be.

You’re able to enhance your hearing so that you can hear pretty far out, which comes in handy a lot on heist jobs, especially if you can make it so that you can be standing on the total opposite side of wherever you need to be for the heist and still be able to hear Kaz and Nina bickering at the checkpoint. 

You’re also able to make yourself quieter, which comes in handy a lot on jobs too, especially when you need to focus on being stealthy and go unseen and unheard. 

Now that I think of it, there’s probably a way that you can shift to match your surroundings or like, make them match you kind of, and make yourself invisible, which is actually a super cool concept and I don’t want to get sidetracked by it, so next thing!

There’s a healthy amount of times that you should shapeshift on a regular basis. You go off that and start doing it too much or not doing it enough, you get really bad aches and pains.

I feel like you’d get them all over and they would hurt as much as a really bad migraine. It happens at random and can sometimes last a couple of days, too. All in all, the pain part of it isn’t really a fun or enjoyable experience so you try to shapeshift consistently

YOU WOULD TOTALLY SHAPESHIFT INTO RANDOM SHIT TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE-

forgive the caps, I would a thousand percent do the same thing and I got excited when I remembered that that was a possibility.

You’d probably shapeshift into something like a tarantula and just spend hours relaxing in a random corner of Wylans lab weaving webs and hanging from the ceiling and being all cool, and then Jesper comes in and you go to greet him and he’s like “saints, what is that?"

and then Wylan is just like “it’s Y/N? Their favorite color is the dots on their back? How could you not recognize them?”

“Oh, I’m sorry Wylan, I’m just not so used to seeing my best friend as a bloody tarantula!” 

You probably shapeshift into a cat to be a menace to Kaz 

the concept of you just kind of showing up at his office window and then doing that thing that cats do where they nap in direct line of wherever the sun is coming in is something I love more than life itself

that’s nOT MENACING, BACK ON TRACK

AFTER you’ve sunbathed an appropriate amount of time, you, in the form of a cat, jump onto Kaz’s desk and glare at him the entirety of the time that it takes you to bring his to-go cup of coffee closer and closer to the edge of his desk, until it tips over and spills. 

that concept has made me laugh for the last ten minutes

Kaz almost hates you for that every time you do it, even though he knows you’re only doing it because he did something to piss you off first and he just considers it fair when he remembers that much. 

You also buy him a replacement coffee out of the kindness of your heart, though you never actually apologize to him

to be menacing in the direction of Matthias and Nina, you also take up the form of a spider. Neither of them really like spiders and you just kind of mess with them for two minutes before it gets old and you switch into something else.

Inej is a cat person through and through, and there aren’t many ways in which you can mess with her, nor do you want to because knife wife WILL use knives if she doesn't recognize the fact that whatever you shift into is you and the possibility, though slight, is still there.

You go to Inej as a cat the most often, though. 

You’re able to keep up with her when she’s running through the barrel on her missions for Kaz, and the naps in the sun are best when you’re laying on one of Inejs coats while she spars with Jesper

You’ve also been a literal fly on the wall to get intel for Kaz before, but that was because you’d offered, and it was exhausting. You got a lot of good intel from that but you were like “nah, never again. Not for less than a hundred million kruge. Never”

generally, it’s a very chaotic but a very fun existence, and you wouldn’t trade a minute of it for anything

[9w1ft]

i also wouldn't be so hasty to judge everyone taylor spends time with by their political beliefs considering to most swifties karlie is one of the "trumpies" taylor has hung around lmao

i assume youre speaking with regards to some general sentiment that has been floating around

not that i have some definitive judgment on what is and isn’t okay, but i understand and think it’s fine for people to not like her hanging out with brittany. that’s not such a big deal, people have reactions to stuff like this in passing every day in the world.

its the sense of expectation that i see from the way people talk about it that makes me worry, if anything.

for me it’s moreso a philosophy of life that i’ve decided for myself, where i believe it’s not worth putting the energy into getting fired up over certain things that i really can’t change. in this case the certain thing is “who taylor shows herself socializing with” — i would rather put any extra energy i have at the end of the day into other things that improve my everyday. of course, people have every right to feel uncomfortable and speak on it. it’s not my place to say people should not feel certain ways. but i do think it’s worthwhile to point out when i think it might be an energy sink, though. based on observation. point out opportunities for people to minimize the hit point damage they might take.

for i do worry sometimes people assume that they will be able to influence taylor’s actions. and when it doesn’t happen they get frustrated. and it’s just a recipe for disaster in terms of maintaining one’s peace as a taylor fan.

i’ve been here just since 2018 and in that limited time i have seen time and again how taylor responds to (or doesn’t respond to) stuff like this, and all the people she’s gone on to be around, and i’ve just decided it’s not worth the effort for me to get into each and every thing that doesn’t sit well with me. because by and large it’s just gonna happen anyway, and again.

“problematic fave” used to be a phrase that was thrown around a lot and i do think it’s useful in a way, people all around the world use this kind of phrase and its logic to engage with shades of grey so as to avoid falling into a crisis of conscience each day. i think a lot of people engage in fandom for people that aren’t passing a purity test but just say oh yeah they’re my problematic fave, and then move on about their day. it probably shouldn’t be wholly one approach or the other but, some amount of balance might be good in ones life, i think.

[topazadine]

A masterclass in how not to market your books, in one singular tweet

Yes, I have redacted the username because I don't want you to go harass said writer. Don't do that.

Now, let's look at how we can learn how NOT to market ourselves using this tweet.

Stop trying to justify yourself.

Don't bother telling me that it is a "purposeful stylistic decision" because frankly, I do not care about your stylistic decisions, same as no one cares about my stylistic decisions when reading my books. I care about how I engage with the work. Your feelings as an author do not matter to me, and I know they don't matter to my own readers, either.

If you are constantly getting criticism for your prose being too dense, then that is a YOU problem. The market is telling you that your writing is unpopular because you're making it too difficult for the average person. Instead of doubling down and insisting that you are right and special and perfect, listen to the criticisms you're receiving.

Do not talk down to readers.

If you condescendingly tell me that "it's okay to look up words when you're reading," I am not going to read your books, even if I am perfectly capable of doing so. You have just told me that you think I'm an idiot. The last thing I need in my life is to be sneered at by an author whose product I have purchased.

I have a BA in British Literature and an MA in International Relations. To say that I am familiar with dense prose would be an understatement. Read some Robert O. Keohane and you, too, can hear your brain cells liquifying in real time.

And that's fine, because not only is Robert O. Keohane a celebrated scholar of international relations, he is explaining complicated concepts that involve a lot of moving parts. Your fantasy book should not be so complicated that I need to take notes so I know what the hell is going on. (I have ranted about this before.)

I will suffer through this kind of prose if I am paying significant amounts of money to do so. I will not struggle through this kind of prose if I am under no compulsion.

Unless your book is required reading in a class (highly unlikely), people are reading for enjoyment during their limited free time. It's one thing to have a few funky words here and there that are clear through context cues, quite another to litter your books with so many weird words that I have to spend half my time hunting through a dictionary.

Don't try to tell people how to read.

You, as an author, do not get to tell readers how to read your books. That's not your job. You don't have the right to patronizingly tell people to "take it slow." You provide a product, and then the readers take it from there and get to engage with it however they so choose.

Yes, I roll my eyes at TikTok girlies who say they skip long paragraphs or only read dialogue. I have the right to say I think this is stupid, but ultimately, I don't get to tell them how to read.

If that's how they want to engage with the product they have purchased, that is their right, same as I'm entitled to make bread in my rice cooker or turn my iron into a doorstop if I want to.

Your readers don't care about you, but you need to care about them.

You know those directors who have a clearly obvious fetish because they include that same thing in every single movie? Yeah, we laugh at them. We don't think it's cute and quirky, we think it's weird and gross. If you're forcing your reader to think about you constantly by interjecting your own opinions and needs into your work, it's off-putting.

A good book does not force you to think about the author at all. You are absorbed in the story and forget that someone even created this because it feels real. It feels genuine.

Yes, it's your handiwork, and your essence will be in it, but that should not be the primary focus.

Stop letting your ego get in the way.

Your readers are not sitting there going "waow, so cool" when you churn out a 500-page screed of PhD dissertation prose to talk about two elves fucking. They're probably thinking, "wow, this author is really far up their own ass."

Then they have a few options:

Continue reading because they think it will make them cool and intellectual to finish a self-important screed about elves fucking

Put the book down because it's annoying and they don't care

Grit their teeth and keep going even though they hate it because they are a completionist

None of those bode well for your reputation as an author. Except maybe the first one, if you are attempting to appeal to an extremely limited audience of pretentious nerds.

If you are trying to sell a book for profit, then you need to know what people want from a book they purchase. Clearly, the author has faced complaints about the dense prose, and instead of realizing they have a market mismatch, they make it everyone else's problem because their ego won't let them change.

The instant you feel the need to defend yourself against justified criticism, you have failed.

Of course, if someone misinterprets your work or uses it as their own soapbox, or attacks you as a person, then you are more than welcome to defend yourself.

But if you get worked up over someone complaining about your prose and condescendingly tell them that they need to just get good, you have failed as a writer. You've failed to tell a story people want to read because you just had to ensure everyone knew you're super special and smart.

I've seen a lot of queer writers do this, sadly: get sucked into stupid drama because of their ego and then turned a bunch of people off.

This person writes books that are within my genre and interests, but they've just told me that if I want to read a book for idle pleasure and not devote all my brainpower to it, I'm stupid and not reading it correctly. So why should I give them money to spit in my face and tell me I'm an idiot? No thanks, not my kink.

I will tell you right now that you're more than welcome to dislike my books. You can think 9 Years Yearning is the stupidest fucking thing you've ever read if you want. You can say that on the internet for everyone to see. In fact, I encourage you to. Leave a brutally honest review.

DNF it, tell your friends you didn't like it. Whatever. I can't control your thoughts and I can't tell you how to read it.

That's your right as a consumer. If I failed to tell a story you enjoy, that's my fault.

Will it hurt my feelings? Sure. No one likes to be told they didn't do a good job. I want you to like my work because I wrote it for people to enjoy. I made up these little guys and put them in a situation, hoping you'd experience a fraction of the happiness I feel when writing.

But ultimately, I know you don't care about my feelings as the author. You care about your enjoyment of the work and your experience, as you should.

Don't listen to authors who talk down to you and imply that you're stupid if they write a book whose prose style you don't like. They're speaking from a place of ego, and that's their problem, not yours.

[slenderfurdirty]

Since this blog seems to be gaining a small amount of traction, I suppose it’s time I make an actual intro/pinned post.

Obligatory Minors DNI: seriously, there is shit in this blog that will fuck you up mentally and emotionally. I speak from experience.

I go by Fang, mostly. More on that later.

My clean blog (mostly for fandom stuff or the like) is @slenderfurclean

My writing blog (that I swear I’m gonna start using again) is @thewornoutandtired

While I’m accepting of most people, I don’t consider anything I’m involved with a safe space for anybody’s mental health. Consider this a warning.

I try to respond to asks as I see them, but I work long hours so it may take time.

Still with me after all that? Then welcome! You can get more info on me below.

Names

You can call me Fang, Pup, Angel, or Bro (Little or Big Bro is fine too). Most pet names (baby, sweetie, darling, etc.) are fine too.

Please do not call me pet, toy, slave, or degrading names unless I have given you permission to do so.

If you wanna call me something else that you don’t think is covered here, just ask me. I’ll tell you yay or nay, with no hard feelings.

Actual intro

I’m a 26 year old bisexual submissive guy, though I call myself a switch because on rare occasions I like to think about domming. I live in the US, and spend what little time I’m not working either reading, writing, gaming, or laying in bed craving death. I try to keep politics out of my tumblr life, but there’ll probably be some in here eventually.

Kinks you’ll see in here:

It’d be impossible to list em all, especially with how nuanced kink is becoming, so I’m just gonna hit some of the big ones and warn you that you’ll find all kinds of stuff in here.

Femdom

Pegging

Humiliation & degradation

Praise kink

Crossdressing/feminization

Omorashi/watersports

Teratophilia/monsters

Furry

Chastity

Exhibitionism

Fauxcest

Overstim

CnC/dubcon

Intox

Petplay

Masochism

Hard Limits

Things I won’t do. I’m a snarky bastard, so if you push me on them, expect to get told off if I don’t just block you. This list will expand as things come up.

Snuff

Gore

Vore

Scat

Diapers

Vomit

Musk

Feedism

Feet

Findom (I’m so fucking broke)

Minors (seriously, leave the kids alone)

Branding

Extreme damage

Rape (giving)

[daddysfangirls-dc]

The Arrangement

CH-9 Lunch with Dick

Damian Wayne x OC! Female

Prev | Next

Syn closed her eyes and leaned back, fidgeting with the jewels Damian had adorned her with. Together, they were waiting for his brother to arrive. It was a fancy restaurant, and while it wasn't empty, their area was secluded, giving the illusion of privacy and few eyes and ears. The sight of the waitresses and waiters peaking around the corner said otherwise. 

"You're late" Syn opened her eyes to see Dick already taking a seat. " This meeting was arranged to adhere to your schedule. The least you could do is be punctual."

"Damian," Syn said, " he's only two minutes late. It's alright."

"No, no. He's right, actually," Dick said " I know how your time in Gotham is limited and cannot be wasted. I'm sorry." Guess that answered the question of whether his family was aware of her new residents or not. 

Damian waved the waiter over for menus. " I was surprised when Damian said you wanted to meet." 

"Yes, well, I don't believe the original dinner gave enough to learn about you all individually. I figured an individual meeting would be better, thus a simple lunch date." she looked around the fancy restaurant with its handlers, sparkle decor, plus seats and curtains. " Well, not here exactly." This was Damian's choice.

"Yeah, really fancy one you picked here, Damian. I would have been fine with a Diner."

"Public diners do not offer the same amount of privacy. " He nodded his head to the near-empty floor and privacy curtains. The peeping staff was gone. No doubt, a manager reprimanded them and reminded them of their place. A waiter came, took their orders and menus, and then closed the curtain. 

"I'm happy to see you back in Gotham. Hopefully, you'll get more this visit than your last."

Syn looked to Damian, who gave a small nod. " Thank you. I'm happy to be back. And actually, I plan to stay a little longer than my last visits."

"Oh, really! That's awesome. Do you have any plans in the city?"

"No, actually. I'm here for Damian." They both looked at him as she spoke he blushed and turned away they chuckled at his sudden shyness. " I want to spend more time with him and get to know his family. Can't do that at a distance."

"Aww."

The waiter came with their food and left, closing the curtains again. 

"SO, out of all our family, why am I honored with the first meetings?"

"Oh, you're not." the look of betrayal on Dick's face should not have been so amusing " Alfred met her before the family dinner. He was quite taken with her." Damian said a bit smugly. 

Dick turned to Syn " Here I thought I was special," he pouted.

"Well, you're still the first sibling I meet outside the house. Points for that, yeah?"

"Don't fuel his ego."

"No, please do," Dick says, fanning his eyelashes; she giggles.

Damian doesn't talk for most of the lunch, letting Syn and Dick have the conversation. She enjoyed the silly stories about their family. Especially the ones about him, where she was full of laughter. He'd take the slight humiliation just to hear her laughter. It was a rare gift for her. By the time dessert came around, she was feeling pain in her guts from all the laughter. Damian ordered for her. 

"Your lives sound so amazing," Syn smiles.

"I'm sure you have some interesting stories as well," Dick said 

"Interesting, yes," she says, a little uncomfortable," but not as entertaining or wholesome?"

"Sorry, I forgot for a moment" DIck forgot who she was.

While she didn't vibe like a regular civilian, she gave more of a vigilante/ hero aura, which made him feel more comfortable with her. But also forget who she truly is and how she was raised. She wasn't another cape and tights. She was a killer. 

"It's okay; I forget sometimes, too." No, she doesn't. She never forgets who she is. She has too many scars, too many bodies, too many nightmares, too much blood. And as sick as it all was, it made her. It was her, She could never forget. The atmosphere changed, and the amusement slowly tricked away to a sobering silence. 

"I remember," Damian began, " Once when we were in the league, your favorite place was the balcony, roof, and any place with height and a view. You always loved the view if it wasn't the sky it was the sanctuary. You named every animal in the sanctuary -"

"Of course, it was a true shame being called 2nd female lion, 3rd female lion, a lion cub. They had personalities; they deserved names... They are doing well, by the way. Leo is thriving." Syn said. 

"She taught me the constellations."

"No, our teacher did. May he rest in peace."

"he taught the stars. You taught them stories. I enjoyed your nighttime stories." Syn stared at him for a moment, then turned to Dick. 

"He used to say he hated my stories, would push me off the roof, and said I talked too loud."

"You did. I'm surprised we never got caught. But looking back they probably just left us lone... I miss stargazing," Damian says, a bit of sadness leaking in his voice. 

"Yeah, Gotham Skies aren't the prettiest. Pollution," Dick says apologetically. 

Gotham was a beautiful city with beautiful skies, but it was very rare to see them. Sadly, Gotham's beauty was constantly covered by pollution, so not everyone could see it. 

"I hear Gotham has a wonderful Observatory -"

"Would you like to go?" Syn turned to him, confused. Dick looked on in glee, watching as the romanize unfolded in front of him. " Would you like to go to the observatory with me?"

"I... Yes, Yes, I would. I'd like that very much," SYn said.

"It's a date," Dick whispered, squealing.

They ignored him.