#i just KNOW his ass is crazy I can FEEL it

[all-purpose-dish-soap]

TF141 & sexy clothes

Gaz absolutely supports you wearing whatever you feel sexy in. however, in his heart of hearts, he believes the sexiest thing you can wear around him is your pjs, your ratty old tees, your sleep shirts, your big hoodies, your slouchy garbage clothes. he just wants to know you're comfortable. not to mention the idea of you letting him see you the way nobody else gets to... letting yourself be totally vulnerable around him... that lights up a certain (slightly needy) (slightly possessive) part of his brain. interesting how easily his hands can slide past the hem of your clothes when they're bigger and slouchier, too.

Ghost loves lingerie, though. like wrapping a present just for him. it's less about the lace (or the bows, or the straps, or the leather, whatever you prefer) and more about the time and attention you're expending to make yourself look all sexy. all this work? for him? even if his usual compulsion is to act aloof and pretend it's no big deal, he can't hide the greedy way his eyes devour you--for me? don't mind if i do. it's a toss-up whether he decides to unwrap you completely or just push his calloused hands into your lil outfit and muss you up until it's not covering anything anymore. or maybe he'll just leave the wrapping on so he can keep admiring all your hard work while he pumps into you.

Price says he loves you in lingerie, and he does. he doesn't tell you how fucking crazy you drive him when you're dressed for business. that might mean the clothes you wear into the office every day; it might mean fatigues; it might mean a particular uniform; it might be sportswear. he's big into seeing you focused and in your element--your competence is sexy--while also knowing there are so few layers he'd need to peel off before he could have you completely forgetting yourself if he wanted. and hey! if the lace at the top of your thigh-highs happens to be peeking out from under your pencil skirt, or if your ass fills out your uniform just right? that's just fine with him. you do you. (for now. he'll do you later.)

Soap's preferences are simple. he likes access. skirts. dresses. obviously, if he could convince you to be naked 100% of the time, he would. sundresses are pretty, though. so are your studded black skirts if you're gothy. or your sharp, practical, form-fitting pencil skirts if you're professional. you can even wear a kilt if you'd like. his kilt. he doesn't mind. (he only asks that you wear it as it's meant to be worn--without a thing underneath.) on days you do wear a dress or skirt, you're lucky to make it out of the house without him darting after you, pulling the hem up your thighs, and wondering aloud how you managed to find any undergarments at all; he'd swear he hid every last pair. he peels your underwear off--don't protest, hen; you know how this works--and after that, your chances of getting out the door are slim to none.

...

more multi-141 and poly 141 / masterlist tag

[dazednmatthews]

(crazy how) this love thing seems unfair~ m. sturniolo

short mini fic cause i lurve this song so bad. angsty asf w a semi-happy ending. enjoy my loves <3333

“mattttttt,” her voice is coated in sleep. “come back to bed.” matt is standing at his closet door, rubbing his own tired eyes. it’s about nine in the morning, much too early to be doing anything other than laying in bed with her.

“you know that i can’t, sweetheart. i have to go work with the guys.” he finally picks a top, a soft, white sweatshirt that’s semi-cropped.

“boooooooo.” she sits up, pushing the curls that escaped her bun away from her face. the look on her face almost makes matt want to say fuck it and stay right here.

after he puts on his shoes and cologne, he walks to the side of the bed and sits. she sinks into him, body melting into his touch. they sit there for a moment, no sound in the room except their breathing. it’s peaceful.

she leans up in his arm and places a kiss at the shell of matt’s ear, making the boy groan softly. “don’t do that. it makes me want to stay right here.”

another kiss, this time under his jaw. “that’s the idea.”

one of matt’s hands are kneading the flesh of her thigh, pausing momentarily to rub circles with his thumb. the other hand is planted gently on her waist. he grips a little tighter when she kisses the corner of his mouth.

“stop touching me like that if you’re leaving.” she whines, pulling away slightly. “so not fair.”

he pulls her back. “give me a real kiss.”

she shakes her head. “ew, no. morning breath, hello.”

matt gives her a flat look. “i put my literal tongue inside of you twenty four seven and you think i give a fuck about morning breath?”

she shoves his shoulder with an incredulous laugh. “it is nine in the morning, matthew!” her eyes are sparkling now. “tone it down.”

matt shrugs. “i’m just saying.”

there’s a brief moment where they lock eyes, and suddenly it’s like all the air in the room has been sucked out. matt moves his hand up, feeling the thrum of her heart beating rhythmically. it’s one of his favorite sounds.

she moves into his lap, his hands coming to the swell of her ass to steady her. her arms loop around his neck, face close.

she pulls him in, gently connecting their lips. the way the interlock is something out of matt’s wildest dreams, serenity coating him from head to toe. he’s tugging and grasping with all his might, always needing her closer.

he can feel her lashes on his cheek, can feel her nails on the nape of his neck, can feel her love through every swipe of her tongue. he never wants to be anywhere but here.

there’s a knock at the door. “matt, we gotta go!” it’s chris. “y’all are too quiet in there so i’m staying my ass out here.”

she breaks the kiss with a giggle. “duty calls.”

he groans, resting his head on her shoulder. “so not fair.”

though it’s a fight, from matt mostly, she untangles herself and stands. she extends a hand to pull matt up, giving him a chaste kiss. “it’s okay, matty, go. i’ll be right here when you get back. always.”

***

turns out that always didn’t mean forever.

there’s a low static sound coming from the t.v, but matt pays it no mind. he’s been sat there for what feels like hours, staring into the distance. he has no idea where his brothers are, something about a friends house or something.

it’s been a couple months since the two split. since matt’s entire world shifted off its axis. he hasn’t seen you since you came to drop off the box of stuff that was filling your apartment. still hurts like the first day though.

matt fights with the same urge he gets every night at about this time. during the day is easier. he’s either asleep or so busy with work that he doesn’t really think about the you-shaped hole in his life. doesn’t really think about the absence of your toothbrush in his bathroom, or the lack of your perfume on his sheets. yeah, the day is infinitely easier.

it’s at night, when he cracks. when he turns in bed and there’s no one there. when he can’t hear the sink running because you’re doing your ridiculous sixteen-step skincare routine. when he walks to his bed just fine because there’s no ill placed bag in the middle of the floor to trip over. it feels like walking into a room and immediately forgetting what you were meant to be doing. he knows something is missing, but he doesn’t know how to get it back.

he wants to call you. wants to talk. to sort through all the communication that wasn’t handled well. it wasn’t a messy breakup, or even a hostile one. and somehow, matt thinks that’s worse. he’d prefer yelling and arguing and just knowing you weren’t right for each other anymore.

but it wasn’t that. instead it was distance and tears and feeling like right now there just wasn’t enough space in each others lives for one another.

he didn’t want this. at all. he wondered if you felt the same. he’d stared at the phone countless night willing himself to dial the number. to draft a text. he’d spent just as many willing you to do the same. it never came though.

matt knows tonight is different. the hum of the ac is lulling the anxious feelings in his stomach. he knows by the way his shaky hands grab his phone that this time is going to be the one.

he doesn’t know what to say, nor how to get it out. he wants to pour his heart out, but he also can’t do that without looking at you. without seeing you and feeling the rush of unwavering love he always got whenever his eyes met yours. it wouldn’t be fair.

so he starts off light and hopes for the best. you always did used to say that he had a way of knowing you better than anyone else.

he hopes to god that’s still true.

a/n: i’m tewwwwww good to y’all fr. jus sumn lite bc i love that damn song soooo bad and it came on this morning and a giant ass cartoon lightbulb went off in my head. anyway number neighbor part five & six later today cause ik that’s what u guys really want 😭 i hope u guys like this okie bye i love you all sooooo bad!!!

TAGLIST:

@sturnioloco @peachmels @sugrhigh @tastesousweet @rootbeerworshiper @hollandsangel @sturnolio-luvs @mattsobvimyfav @misscocodiorsblog @ilovechrisssturniolo @pepsiboyy @braindead4l @mxqdii @fawnchives @hearts4chriss @certifiednatelover @nmegamett20 @imaslut4kehlani @dominicfikue @wovenribbons @streamermattsgf @pr1ncessmatt @pinksturniolo @yourfavoritefangirl @nickmillersn1gf @freshxsturniolo @sturniolobltch @mattspolitank @lookingformyromeo @alorsxsturn @imwetforyourmom @kiarastromboli @sleepysturnss @mattscoquette @sturncakez @inkyray @simply-a-simper @lanas-doll @wh0resstuff @giannasturn @iluvmattsbeard @mattsmad @bambi-slxt

(also if i add tags based on requests and on comments so if u ever want to be taken off let me know!!!! jus send me an ask or a message and it’s no problem <3333)

[sterekorgtfo]

Buck’s eyes jolted open and his heart began to race as something alerted his body and jolted him out from his slumber.

He was momentarily disoriented given that this was the first time he was sleeping in Tommy’s bed and he didn’t recognize the feel of the pillows, comforter, or the sight of the dresser across from him.

After a moment of grasping where he was and what was going on, he recognized the distinct sound of Tommy laughing his ass off behind him in the middle of the night.

“Do you mind telling me what you find so funny at 2 in the morning?” Buck groggily asked as he rotated over to face his hysterical boyfriend.

“Wh…what I’m laughing at?” Tommy asked through the laughter. “Are you saying you don’t know?”

“Given that I was deep in a very heavy REM Cycle, no. Absolutely not,” Buck replied in an annoyed tone. “Our first sleepover is not seeming very romantic right now.”

Tommy let out a few more chuckles and then began to calm his breaths. “Really? I was just thinking the opposite,” Tommy teased playfully. “Your snoring is adorable. Louder than my chopper and my bike combined, but adorable.”

Buck groaned and buried his face in the pillow. “I thought Chris and all of my girlfriends were being over-dramatic.”

“I’m sorry,” Tommy interrupted through a giggle. “Christopher and multiple exes of yours experienced this, and you still had doubt?”

“Chris commented on it when I was babysitting him, and kids are dramatic; and my girlfriends…have also had a history of being dramatic,” Buck explained.

“Uh-oh. I’m dating a ‘all my exes were crazy guy’? That’s a red flag,” Tommy teased.

“No, they’re not,” Buck defended remorsefully. “I just hoped it wouldn’t happen here.”

Tommy chuckled at his boyfriend and Buck felt a mildly judgemental gaze his way. “You thought it’d just be gone by tonight?”

“Kinda?” Buck said sheepishly.

There was a lull in the convo, a moment of silence before Tommy wrapped his arms above and below Buck. “Come here.”

Buck let out a minor yelp as he felt himself be pulled closer to his boyfriend. He felt the warmth of Tommy’s bare muscular chest and arms envelop him. “I think your snoring is adorable, Evan, and I will happily suffer through so many sleepless nights as long as it means you get to fall asleep in my arms and I get to wake up next to you in the morning.”

“You say that now-”

“I do say that now. And I’ll say it again each night until my body won’t let me fall asleep without the sound of you,” Tommy insisted with a confident assurance.

Bucks heart raced and his body instinctively shuddered, and his instinct to roll away was coursing through his whole body.

“Evan? Evan, what’s wrong?” Tommy asked with concern.

“It’s nothing,” Buck lied as he rolled away from Tommy.

“It’s not nothing,” Tommy countered as he allowed his boyfriend some space. “Did I say something wrong, Evan? I’d really like to know if I did.”

Buck winced his eyes and took a deep breath. He was thankful that they were laying in the dark and - *click* oh great, there was the nightstand light on Tommy’s side.

“Evan, will you please look at me?” Tommy tenderly inquired.

Buck really didn’t want to. He wanted to hide himself under the comforters in embarrassment. He didn’t want to be vulnerable right now, but pushing Tommy away wasn’t going to help the situation. Tommy deserved better.

He begrudgingly rolled over to face Tommy and Buck’s heart was struck with guilt as he saw the pain and concern painted across Tommy’s face.

“Evan, baby, can you please tell me what’s wrong?” There was that sweet, genuine sincerity that terrified the hell out of him.

“It’s just…you make all these super sweet promises that sound like you’re gunna be around forever; and we don’t know that,” Buck explained.

“So am I coming on too strong? Do you want me to stop? I don’t mean to rush things or put pressure on you-,” Tommy nervously began to explain.

“No, it’s not too strong. And no, i don’t want you to stop. I like it a lot. Too much, actually, and that’s the problem. I’m scared at how much I like it and I’m terrified about getting too used to it in case this all goes south. You sound like you’re promising forever but you can’t.”

There was another pause as Tommy began to process everything Buck said. “Can I hold your hand?” Tommy softly asked. Buck gently nodded in response.

Tommy moved his free arm to Buck’s, and entwined their hands together, locking fingers. “Evan,” Tommy began, holding his gaze. “You’re right. I cant promise forever. I don’t think our very first sleepover warrants any ring-talk.”

Buck let out a small chuckle. “Yeah, please do not. That’s a red flag.”

“Fair,” Tommy said playfully. “But here’s what I do know. I’m 39, almost 40. I have no intention of plying the field and I’m tired of meaningless flings. I get the feeling you are too based on the handful of threats I’ve received about treating you right; which I absolutely plan on doing.”

Buck chuckled at the thought of everyone giving Tommy the ‘If you hurt him speech.’ “Who all gave you the speech?”

“Maddie. Eddie. Bobby, who found it pertinent to remind me that Athena is a police sergeant,” Tommy explained.

“Oh my god,” Buck said. “I’m surprised you didn’t run on the spot.”

“Well you shouldn’t be,” *Tommy said sternly. “I have no intentions of going anywhere. And granted, it’s possible life is going to throw us some shit. But I’m willing to fight for you, Evan. And as long as both our lives are better with each other in it, then I’m willing to give this a genuine shot. I’m ready to put in the effort for this.”

Buck stewed and marinated and contemplated Tommy’s words. “Is that not a sentiment most people have at the start?”

“No it is not,” Tommy answered matter-of-factly. “Especially in the gay community. I’m not saying everyone, but I’ve ran into my fair share of guys only looking for Mr. Right Now. Or a daddy.”

Buck started to laugh heartily at the thought of Tommy being a ‘daddy’. He understood, though. Buck kinda agreed.

“I want off the hamster wheel, Evan. And I will do everything I can to reassure you that I mean it.”

Buck leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend deeply. Tommy wrapped his arms back around Buck and held him tight.

“I don’t want to hurt you either, if it’s any consolation,” Buck replied.

“I appreciate that. I don’t know if I have another heartbreak in me either. I spent too many years being inauthentic to myself and unhappy. I don’t want to waste anymore time of my life.”

“So we’re in good hands with each other?” Buck asked.

“I think so,” *Tommy said with a soft, warm smile that made Buck feel so safe and happy with it.

“I think so, too,” Buck said as he leaned in for one more kiss. “Ready to go back to sleep?”

“I suppose that’s up to your nose,” *Tommy said playfully as he turned the light off and pulled his boyfriend in close.

[ghouljams]

Thinking more fallout au thoughts.

Cw: branding, dub-con, mean Ghost

"Would you quit squirmin'." Ghost tells you, yanking your pants down over the curve of your ass. He's got you pinned over his lap, your arms held tight against your sides with no hope of escape. You squirm a little harder, give a valiant effort towards escape, and he swears. "Wouldn't have ta do this if ya quit wandering off."

Branding you, he means.

His words don't inspire confidence, and certainly don't stop you from trying to wiggle you way off his lap. Who cares if you've got your pants around your knees, anything is better than what Ghost has planned.

"This is crazy!" You tell him, "You're crazy!"

"And you're a thief," he responds easily, "won't hurt too bad, animals used ta get branded all the time and they never complained." You thrash. You don't appreciate name calling in a situation like this, but he could at least use words you know.

"Stay still." Ghost spanks you hard and you whimper, dropping your head at the sting. In your brief moment of stillness Ghost reaches over you and pulls a length of metal from the campfire. He holds you tight, keeps you from moving too much when you start to squirm again. He mutters something about you messing up his work, and you freeze when you feel the blistering heat near your skin, then pain.

You scream.

Ghost holds the brand to you for a few seconds before pulling it away. By then you can feel the burn in earnest. It feels hot, obviously, but far past what you thought heat could feel like. It's blistering, stinging, like a scratch that keeps digging deeper. Ghost uncaps his flask and spends it over your ass while you sob. It flashes new heat over your skin but it's cool. It helps a little, at least as long as it takes for his flask to run out of water. You sniffle, try to tough it out until it's just the dry Mojave air on your new burn, then the tears start again.

"I can't believe you," you sniff, trying to sound less pathetic than you feel. Ghost leans sideways, settles the metal on the sand beside him. You don't bother attempting to escape even when his grip loosens, you just slump to wallow in your misery.

"It's barely second degree," Ghost's fingers prod at the warm edges of the burn. You flinch, and he pulls back. The dips and grooves of his hand as it rubs over your unblemished asscheek tells you he's taken his glove off. It's the only warming you have that he's going to slip it between your legs.

You don't have the strength to struggle against his hold again. Ghost drags his fingers along your slit, the calloused and scarred skin rubbing gently against your clit. A different sort of heat. One your body seems all too eager for. You press your hips back into the feeling, eager for some reprieve from the pain still radiating off your skin. It earns you a chuckle from Ghost, a burst of embarrassed warmth over your cheeks, and a more firm, focused attention between your legs.

"There ya go," Ghost coos, "wasn't this the deal? I don't kill you, and you do-" he clicks his tongue, adjusts his grip and smears your slick over the back of your thighs, you hadn't realized how wet you were, "-'ow'd you phrase it again?"

"Whatever gets you off," you whimper, filling in the words you remember all too well. Usually a more rewarding experience and with less burns.

Ghost wiggles a finger into your cunt, pumps the thick digit in and out, curls it to stroke your walls, and makes you squirm desperately. "You want me to kiss it better sweet'art?" Ghost asks, almost mocking in his tone.

You nod anyway, and end up grinding your desperate cunt against his mouth the same as you always do.

[mishellii]

♢ᴘᴇᴛ ɴᴀᴍᴇꜱ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ♢

naruto, sasuke, shikamaru, kiba, shino, neji, iruka & kakashi

a/n: sooo,, i SHOUld be working on my uni essays and on the bf!neji texts BUT this had been sitting in my notes app for a while so i decided to post it ;D (the neji texts will come soon i promise). some are longer, some are shorter for which i apologise,,,,,, please ignore typos, i can't spell & enjoy MWUAH

likes & reblogs appreciated <3

warnings: some NSFW parts! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! :) also not proofread as usual

masterlist

♢ɴᴀʀᴜᴛᴏ ᴜᴢᴜᴍᴀᴋɪ♢

✿oh my baby boy

❀first off: angel. 100%.

✿because u are his angel u feel me

❀he can't go a day without telling u

✿then also just the basic baby

❀but mostly when he wants something from u or he's apologising for dumb stuff he's done

✿puppy eyes and all

❀and also during sexy time

✿it's his most used name for u there

✿fight me on this

❀big on his own self made nicknames for u

✿for instance: u fell down the stairs once?

❀"hey, stairs, how you doin'"

✿and just silly ones like: boo, pookie, apple of my eye

❀he's weird like that c'mon we been knew

♢ꜱᴀꜱᴜᴋᴇ ᴜᴄʜɪʜᴀ♢

✿now this guy is a wild card

❀he'd prefer ur name through & through

✿but he'd slip in a casual babe sometimes which makes ur knees weak obviously

❀because he barely ever calls u that

✿if ur married he'd only call you his wife

❀doesn't even let you answer questions on your own sometimes just so he can hit them with

❀"well, MY WIFE, thinks you suck ass, so.."

✿during sex he can be quiet mean 

❀I DONT THINK in the derogatory way but more in a teasing way

✿"c'mon, sweetheart, look at me."

❀when ur just about to black out??

✿but like i said 

❀not big on pet names but he'll use them more often if he knows u enjoy it <3

♢ꜱʜɪᴋᴀᴍᴀʀᴜ ɴᴀʀᴀ♢

✿pretty

❀just pretty bro.

✿not ALL THE TIME, especially not in public as i don't think he's big on PDA

❀but in the comfort of ur own 4 walls? definitely

✿now don't HATE ME for this but,,,

❀woman. and brat.

✿but only in petty situations, like when ur scolding his lazy ass and he hits u with a "go easy on me, woman, i just woke up."

❀or u've been going on his nerves while he's working

✿,,i'm busy, brat.''

❀in bed tho???

✿love or doll

❀i'm almost CERTAIN.

✿like,, can u imagine?? in his dumb fucking charming voice ???

❀PFFF i'm on my knees 

♢ᴋɪʙᴀ ɪɴᴜᴢᴜᴋᴀ♢

✿now this fucker

❀teasing names through & through

✿ur shorter than him? 

❀"hey, shortie, need help?"

✿ur taller than him?

❀"hey, giant, how's the weather up there?"

✿he's a DICK ok (affectionately ofc)

❀but he can be sweet too i promise

✿he's having fun with calling u bunny during sex or simply baby 

❀also ???? "okay, boss." when he's been annoying u all day and u finally snap at him?

✿he's a menace with nicknames i'm telling u

♢ꜱʜɪɴᴏ ᴀʙᴜʀᴀᴍᴇ♢

✿you probably guessed it and bully me if you'd like but,,,

❀bug or lovebug

✿come oooon he loves his bugs AND he loves you?? it fits PERFECTLY

❀not one to do it infront of other people either but in your private space he just wouldn't stop calling you one of these

✿i also see him using the regular honey but the abbreviation so hun because it's short and sweet and he doesn't like those long ass names

❀apologies if ur name is long LMAO mine is too tho

✿takes the hun into the bedroom but prefers a gentle love while having sex

❀shino's not a sweet talker in my mind, but the pet names make up for it FOSHOU

✿ALSO big brain idea i just had:

❀i think shino can't fully express his emotions verbally so before going on missions he definitely writes u letters and that's where he's blooming

✿''u keep me going everyday, sunshine.''

❀and it doesn't even matter if you have a bubbly personality or not

✿UGH lovesick fr

♢ɴᴇᴊɪ ʜʏᴜɢᴀ♢

❀this pretty princess doesn't even know ur name when ur alone with him 

✿ESPECIALLY when ur texting

❀sweetheart, love & darling

✿he'd make u fall in love over again whenever he calls u one of those i'm just saying

❀because he's always so sincere when he's talking to u it drives me crazy just thinking about it 

✿during sexy time too, he would NEVER

❀& i will die on this hill 

✿NEVER use any degrading names for u

❀ur his baby don't make him do that

✿even when ur fighting, he'd always address u in such a kind way i'm actually going insane

❀"have you had dinner yet, dear?"

✿ sedate me pls

♢ɪʀᴜᴋᴀ ᴜᴍɪɴᴏ♢

✿AAA this guy

❀soo,, like father like son,,, angel

✿u can't change my mind

❀being the kind hearted person he is, it just fits u can't tell me off

✿but i will also say he'd use some funny ones in private because we all know he's just a silly lil guy deep inside

❀i'm thinking toots & peach

✿especially when greeting u !! like ''ey, toots, how's it going?''

❀during sex he will be quiet awkward at the start of ur relationship, settling in angel as he's most familiar with it at first

✿but after some time he'd pull a babydoll or gorgeous on u

❀i mean,,, i'd cry but idk about y'all

✿oVERALL he loves using pet names and wouldn't be opossed to u calling him some sweet ones as well <3

❀call him handsome and he'll go through the roof

♢ᴋᴀᴋᴀꜱʜɪ ʜᴀᴛᴀᴋᴇ♢

✿AHEM

❀so this man,,

✿at the start of ur relationship he's such a shy lil bean so he'll only use your first name

❀but once he's been with you long enough he gets so so comfortable

✿starts of with the regular baby because u are his baby aight.

❀his most frequently used one too i'd say

✿but then he'd go like 

❀"hey, beautiful." "y'alright, sweetheart?"

✿and idk about u but i'd faint

❀HE KNOWS ABOUT HIS AFFECT ON U TOO

✿uses it against u during sex SO OFTEN

❀grunting a "there y'go, darling." into your ear with a sly smirk on his lips 

✿i'm (s)creaming

❀but he's a very private person so don't expect too much of that in public !!

✿a side from a "yes, ma'am" when u tell him not to die on a mission <3

a/n: i hope this doesn't SUCK ahemm,,, and i'll see you beans next time bye bye x

devider by @enchanthings

[beemochi-art]

THE SEEKERS

STARSCREAM

Air commander! Leader of the seeker! And second in command of the decepticons! By far he is the most talented flyer of all the cons. All these decorations sure bumps up his ego, which cause him to go barking up the wrong tree. He’s got a scar on his face to remind him of each failed attempt at dominance.

Decorate that.

In the beginning he knew Megatron and they looked out for each other. Megatron trusted him and viewed him as a friend. But when Starscream had his lil seeklet something clicked in his brain. Starscream began scheming for more power. He started holding his family closest to him and pushing away the rest. He wanted the best for them and was tired of seeing them pushed into battle like common soldiers, they are not common to him. He couldn’t imagine Slipstream being hurt.

One day on the battlefield, Megatron was trapped in a crashing ship. Megatron desperately called out for his friend. Starscream looked him in the eyes and left him. As second in command he would be air to the the throne, he enjoyed it for a while thinking Megatron was dead and his family being the ones to boss everyone around. Knowing that his bitlit wouldn’t have to face battle like a commoner but instead like a commander.

Until of course Megatron came back. Starscream was challenged. He fought and lost badly. Megatron was highly emotional and almost killed him. Slipstream was deeply traumatized by seeing this. She’s scared of him.

Starscream is still second in command. It’s hard to tell what Megatron is thinking.

NOVASTORM

I wanted to make her a girl cause why not. She’s an ass, but what seekers isn’t??

She’s gorgeous and she knows it. She’s constantly flashing her stuff. (Honestly a big ego and being a narcissist is standard seeker behavior.) she has a crush on Thundercracker and has been trying to court him for years. (To her courting is being annoying and mean and accusing him of being a perv.)

She’s constantly picking fights with the rest of the seekers. But she’s nice to Slipstream. (She’s like the the sassy auntie.)

THUNDERCRACKER

He stoic and doesn’t talk to much, he the strongest out of the seeker. He’s also the biggest. He pretty much lets the rest of the seekers walk all over him. However he’ll sometimes put his foot down with Starscream and Skywarp (mostly skywarp.) he reminds them that he could crush their heads with his bare hands.

However he loves the two girls. He recognizes Novastorm is flirting with him. He mostly is just dead pan only because she makes him nervous. She gets away with everything.

Slipstream he sometimes pretends she’s his own. He gets her gifts and when she was very little he actually broke his silent streak and begged starscream to hold her. Slipstream could yell at him to move and he’ll do it fast. He lets her get away with too much.

SLIPSTREAM

The youngest, the smallest, and has the most to prove. She exudes teenage angst. Most soldiers are surprised she screams at the second command the way she does.

She is Starscream’s daughter. Even tho she can be a mean, hurtful little shit, she loves her dad. She hates seeing him hurt. Tho she’s not super affectionate (Starscream isn’t either.) he knows she loves him. And the rest of the seekers (not skywarp). They are her family. The rest of the seekers feel the same way (still not skywarp.) they’ve known her since she was small and looked after her when Starscream couldn’t.

SKYWARP

The seekers resident psycho. Skywarp has a very special power that makes him crazy! I’m sure we all know what it is. He doesn’t care about anyone. Surprisingly a goof tho, doesn’t help his scary appearance.

He has an artifact in his helm that lets him warp. He’s a killer and likes to hunt. He intentionally antagonizes his fellow soldiers. And he will make anyone suffer when they are weakest. He see Slipstream as the weakest.

[ackermai07]

hi there !! i hope you're having a great day so far ^^

i wanted to request the three musketeers (katsuki, izuku, shoto) that give prince/ss treatment to reader ! like the reader is just so tooth-rotting sweet that the boys can't help but treat reader that way ฅʕ◍·̀·́◍ʔฅ

you are so free to ignore this if its not up to your taste ^^ thank you in advance !! 💌🍰

girl you're crazy if you think this isn't up to my taste, you literally blessed me with this! Anyways I hope you have fun reading, enjoy!

𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: Todoroki, Bakugou, Midoriya, fem!reader

𝗪𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: headcanon, fluff!

Don't repost!

The one thing we all agree on.

He'll cook for you.

No one argues with this; he's literally your personal chef.

He'll always make sure you eat well, whether you're a big eater or not.

This damn guy will literally stuff your stomach and cook for you anytime.

You can wake him up even at 2 a.m., and he won't mind, like:

"Hey, Katsu... I'm feeling kinda hungry... so-"

"Shut up, I already know."

And boom, he'll get up to cook a delicious meal for you and make sure you go to sleep feeling full.

He also loves styling your hair, no matter the type.

Straight, wavy, curly, it doesn't matter.

Just tell him how you want your hair, and he'll do it professionally.

He does most of the chores for you, like cooking, washing dishes, doing laundry, etc.

He absolutely hates seeing you tired or exhausted; he sees himself strong enough to do everything.

"You weren't created for exhaustion, not even your beautiful ass deserves to be tired from sitting."

Another reason he always holds you in his arms when you're alone together.

He always brings snacks for you at school.

At the end of each class, he turns around to give you candy or chocolate to keep you energized.

(He completely refuses to admit he brought them for you, always saying he got them by chance.)

When you're sitting in the dorm with others, he lets you rest your head on his shoulder if you're tired.

He absolutely doesn't let you go downstairs; he always carries you bridal style while going down while you're in his arms.

His excuse is that you're too foolish and will definitely trip and fall and hurt yourself.

(He loves you dearly and worries about you like crazy.)

Did I mention he's your guard dog?

Wherever you are, he walks behind you and gives death glares to anyone who dares to stare at you.

He also makes sure every day that he's the first person to say good morning or goodnight to you, whether in person or through messages.

He's not a big person with words, but he makes sure to say "I love you" enough times because he knows it makes you happy.

Believe me, he's just there for your happiness (I would die for this man).

This boy is the epitome of sweetness.

He's not just a green flag, he's the whole forest.

One thing I'm sure of is that he'll take notes for you during classes.

Even if you've already taken your own notes, he doesn't mind.

He still brings your notebooks and edits your notes to make them look like his own.

If you ask him why he does this, he simply replies:

"Just to ensure our information is the same so we don't have any problems when we study together."

He just loves being the reason behind your intellectual growth and knowing that he's helping you.

Every night, literally every night, he braids your hair.

Because he simply read that braiding hair before bed helps keep it healthy.

(He loves touching your hair and smelling its scent.)

Speaking of nighttime, he takes you for walks at night when everyone else is asleep and lies on the grass to watch the sky just because you told him you love seeing the stars.

He's literally the kind of gentleman who lays his jacket over a puddle of water for you to walk on so you don't get wet.

He has a sixth sense about you, so for example, whenever something bad happens to you, he's already there to fix it.

He's 100% ready to defend you against anyone and doesn't feel embarrassed to stand up to them either.

He carries your bag for you on the way to school and back to the dorm, insisting on it even when you say it's okay.

He loves sharing his food with you; he always does.

No matter what it is, he always makes sure you take at least a bite of it.

"I don't taste the food's flavor until I share it with you."

He always keeps your hands intertwined and makes sure you're close to him, especially in crowds.

Every day, he makes sure to kiss you on the cheek and tell you how perfect you are, how lucky he is to have you, and how much he loves you.

This guy is literally like a character from books.

He has a top-notch degree in princess treatment.

He buys you anything you want, no matter what.

Even if it's a car plated with gold, he'll always fulfill your desires.

He flirts with you, but in poetic ways.

For example, he reads a love quote or a poem and makes sure to dedicate it to you.

Either he writes it for you on a paper and places it on your desk in your room before you wake up, or he whispers it in your ear just to drive you crazy.

He loves seeing you shy and flustered.

He also buys you books, a lot of them.

The reason for that is your talk about a story or a novel.

Be sure that by tomorrow he'll present you with the entire book series along with a red rose.

"Shoto! You didn't have to do that!"

"If my girl desires something, she gets it."

(Help me... I'm melting while writing this)

He lets you do anything to him literally.

Braiding his hair, putting makeup on him, dressing him up as you wish... etc.

Just say the word, and he's like, "Yes, ma'am"

(Once you put your daily makeup on him, and literally you cried because he looked more beautiful than you by miles.)

This man is literally carrying your bags when he takes you shopping.

And he doesn't complain; it gives him a sense that he's your strong man.

He also allows you to try makeup on the back of his hand.

(He's as pale as hell.)

He carries you on his back if you feel tired from walking.

Or in other words, if he feels it, which means he always carries you on his back.

So you won't tire from something as silly as walking.

He knows that everyone is looking at both of you, but does he care? Of course not.

(I feel like he's read "The Art of Indifference" at least 100 times.)

He's the kind of guy who allows you to wear anything you want.

You might come to him not sure about your clothes, and he simply shrugs in indifference.

"Wear whatever you want; I can fight."

(But not too revealing because you won't get away with it.)

One of his greatest features is that he uses his quirk to either warm you up or cool you down according to the weather.

He always gives you his jacket even without you asking because he knows that his scent calms you down and also ensures that you're warm.

Like the others, he makes sure you eat well and goes crazy if he knows you haven't.

(I think this is an Asian thing...)

This might seem gross, but on the contrary, it's not the case for him, but he allows you to spit out the food you didn't like on his hand.

He tells you to do it in the most poetic expression ever.

He hugs you a lot, first because he loves being close to you and secondly to stick his scent to you, so people can smell you and know that you're his

(he has a special scent so..)

(I've written a lot for him, I know, and I'm sorry, but I love him so much that I couldn't stop!!)

I hope you had fun reading! Please feel free to request more whenever you like!

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐝.

[tojiscursedtool]

Requesting headcanons for Jujutsu High Teacher Male!Reader being in a "Colleagues With Benefits" relationship with hung!Gojo.

R doesn't like Gojo (but Gojo's friendly with him), but he loves sucking on Gojo's big fat cock, and Gojo loves how well R can handle it with such skill & ease.

🏮| ° .• Satoru H/Cs . ‹𝟹 ` ֶָ֢

Note ~ thank you so much for the request I really hope this is to your liking, thank you for explaining the details in DMS too!!（╹◡╹）♡.. I’m really sorry though if you do not like this or if it’s not to your liking!

MENTIONS — Male!Reader, Teasing, Face Fucking, Blowjobs/Handjobs in public, harsh/aggressive face fucking, praising from gojo, spit/saliva, photo/video taking while sucking him off, making out as you stroke him off.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

— Hung!Gojo who would force you to completely take his cock down your throat with a tight ass grip on your hair just to feel your warm hot mouth around his cock.

— Hung!Gojo who knows you don’t like him but proceeds to tell you how much he likes you and how cute you look when you suck his massively big cock.

“You’re so cute when you’re like this..so pretty f’me. So perfect.” He’d probably say corny shit too but he really does mean it, he finds you so cute and pretty even when you give him that mean glare when sucking his dick. He knows you like it when he fucks the back of your throat, it’s feel good to you but you’d never admit that to HIM.

— Hung!Gojo who praises you for any little thing you do while sucking his cock, especially wrapping your long tongue around his shaft, he’s never really had anyone who could really suck his dick properly. They’d complain saying ‘it’s too big’ or that ‘I can’t take it!!’ But you were a different story, you could take his cock in your throat with ease.

“F—fuck. Good boy..keep goin’. Doin’ so well f’me..such a perfect hole to fuck.” He grunted out as he pushed your head down onto his cock, you looked up at his messed up face with that cold neutral stare you gave him everyday. You liked getting those reactions out of him though, especially when you used your long tongue to lick and swirl all around his shaft he couldn’t help but slam his hips pounding his cock into your mouth.

— Hung!Gojo who loves how skilled you are when taking his huge cock, even when he’s rough with you. You take it like a fuckin’ champ and he loves every minute with you, especially when you’re able to swallow all of his cum. Gojo knows that when he comes it’s a lot more than the average person and his cocky ass is obviously going to be proud of that.

— Hung!Gojo who whimpers and whines when you tease his cock by kissing the tip and purposely avoiding eye contact with him. He hates when you tease him he loves when you completely take him in your mouth. you know how much he loves eye contact and it drives him crazy. You dislike him so much but yet you use your mouth to please him..sometimes you wanted to be mean and make him beg until he couldn’t take it anymore:

“P—please. Baby..ah. Stop teasin’..ya’know how much I hate it..please?” He begged in a whining tone leaning towards you a little trying to look you in the eye to keep eye contact but you purposely avoided his gaze. Your hands barely stroking him just lightly rubbing it, you could feel his cock twitch and throb in your hand. You continued to barely suck his big cock, just kissing and licking the tip.. he was little our little whimpers you didn’t even know a man like him could make. You didn’t take him for the pathetic type but here he was..begging and whining like a little bitch. You smirked slightly as Gojo cupped the sides of your face with his shaky hands, his breath was hitched and shaky as well. He needed you so bad and he would pretty much do anything just for you to please and take him in your mouth, after all you were the only one who was able to take him.

— Hung!Gojo who sometimes stayed the whole day being pent up due to your teasing, you’d only kiss and lick on the tip of his huge cock and stop completely leaving him there to take care of himself. You were so mean to him. He kinda digged it though because that meant later on he could be rough and punish you..

— Hung!Gojo who waits for the day to be over with so he can absolutely fucking destroy you. He’s been bothered all day with the teasing you did to him and you know damn well what you did. He’d wait till you’re alone until he drags you with him and puts you in his domain. Before you could even get a word in next thing you knew his dick was in your mouth and he was shoving it down your throat making you take it.

You were shocked by the sudden way he just overlapped his domain keeping you there, making you suck his cock. He liked you so he wasn’t going to be so rough with you but he was still kind of mad, you were petty so he wanna gonna give you that same attitude back. Kind of..his hips moved back and forth harshly and quickly making sure the tip of his huge ass dick hit the back of your throat causing you to gag a little while sucking his cock. You felt every vein throb in your mouth as he coated your throat with his pre-cum. He wasn’t even close to coming yet..he wanted to ruin you..or at least try to. His dick was so big that there would be a bulge in your throat each time he moved his hips forward to make his cock sink more into your mouth. He had a smug look on his face as he used both hands to hold the back of your head slamming it onto his cock. “Your tongue, start using it.” You hesitated but did what he asked, you used your tongue to swirl around his thick cock as you kept looking at him in his bright blue glowing eyes. Your gagging and slurping noises echoed through out of the domain and you swore you heard his voice whispering in your ear even though he was standing in front of you making you suck his cock. Your body felt more sensitive and you could feel yourself growing hard from him? From Gojo? No way. That must’ve been a delusion but it really was true, your face didn’t really change it was still the same from earlier, not much expression just a neutral stare but what was different was the slight blush on your cheeks. Not because you liked him, no, you hated him but you were embarrassed he was able to catch you like this..you were going to unbutton your pants and deal with yourself in front of him but the sole of his shoe laid on your bulge pressing on it as he slightly rubbed it with his foot. “Ah ah..keep sucking my dick baby. You focus on me and only me..understand?” He patted the back of your head before you could nod or try to agree he came in your mouth, it was more than usual. It was so much but you were able to handle it, of course you were. You were perfect for this and so skilled at it..his whole body shuddered as he let his load out inside your mouth filling up your throat..after he was done with his orgasm he pulled out making you open your mouth to make sure you swallowed it all and like always..you did. “Good. Don’t let that happened again or else it’ll be your ass I’ll fuck the shit out of.” He said staring at you smiling as his domain was now off.

— Hung!Gojo who knows you love sucking on his big cock no matter the day or time it is. It could be all alone in the classroom, full of a bathroom with people trying to be quiet, in the dorms, in the meeting room all alone, in his car, anywhere. He’d give you it anytime of the day too, as long as you ask.

— Hung!Gojo who loves to hold your hands as he watches you suck his dick with no hands to help you, the he’s impressed with how you suck his big cock with your cute warm wet mouth. He’d even coo at you and tell you how good you’re doing.

— Hung!Gojo who goes on a rant about how perfect your dick sucking skills are, how you do better than any woman or man who’s ever tried to ever suck his cock, he’d even spoil you with lavish gifts and buys you whatever you wanted. Even if you didn’t ask he knew, he knew you so well. You may have hated him but he loved you and your perfect skill to be able to take his fat cock down that throat of yours.

— Hung!Gojo who would probably ask you to suck his dick in the middle of a mission or have you stroke him off during a meeting.

— Hung!Gojo who would constantly repeats how much he loves you and how he adored you more than anyone while sucking his dick. He didn’t care if you didn’t care he just wanted you to know how much he loves you..so much.

— Hung!Gojo who would sometimes lay back and let you do all the work when you insist to..you want to do your own thing here and there and go at your own pace. By ‘your own pace’ you mean absolutely breaking him. You’re able to make your throat squeeze down on him and make it feel like his own personal little glory hole when in reality it’s your throat making him feel good.

— Hung!Gojo who loves when you stroke him off before sucking his large cock, he loves the feeling of your cold hands touching and squeezing around his cock, he loved the way you’d sometimes sit on his lap and making out with him keeping eye contact as you rub and stroke his cock. The small moans he let out during the kiss turned you on sometimes if you were feeling nice enough you’d let him thigh fuck you for only 5 minutes.

— Hung!Gojo who’s cock is 7 inches long when soft and around 11 inches when hard with a bit of a pale pink flushed tip. How he would always produce pre-cum when you kissed and sucked the sides of the shaft of his cock. He enjoyed when you licked and cleaned the pre-cum off of his cock.

— Hung!Gojo taking videos or photos of you while you went at it and sucked his cock, praising you, leaving sweet comments, commenting on how well your dick sucking skills are, how you swallowed up his cum like your own special little beverage. He’d even ask to recreate some videos or photos if he enjoyed them that much.

— Hung!Gojo who spits in your mouth and makes you use his saliva to make his cock slide in your mouth with more ease. Not like it was hard for you anything..he just found it hot how you would do so.

— Hung!Gojo who loves the way you look at him when you suck his dick, your expression is usually cold with him but it softens when you’re sucking his dick. He finds it absolutely adorable and doesn’t comment on it, he doesn’t want you to hide this little side to you. He loves it too much. Although it doesn’t change THAT much it still looks cute and he’s into it. He’s into you. He loves you.

— Hung!Gojo who’s dick is is too big to to only use one hand while jerking him off, you’d have to use both hands AND your mouth if you wanted to please him right.

— Hung!Gojo who sends you pictures of his bulge/dick completely out while you’re doing your job, at home, or just anywhere.

— Hung!Gojo who loved to fill up your mouth with his warm cum, how you’d whisper a thank you or tell him to give you more, sometimes he’d make you beg or ask him but you didn’t really care..you just wanted his ridiculously huge cock.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

[youandiwerealive]

Need some relief [rd]

Author’s note: writing this destroyed me 🥵 thank you to the anon who requested this one and I’m sorry it took so long! I hope you enjoy this, mwah 🤭

Warnings: OOOF, hold on because this one has it ALL!! Unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, squirting, some ass slapping, a bit of portuguese dirty talk like yall have been asking, frustrated, crazy, hard and raw sex with Rúben after City losing against Real Madrid 🫣 let me know if I’m missing something! MINORS, GET OUT!!

wc: 2110 - English is not my first language! Feedback is always appreciated

His face when he got out of the locker room, at the end of the game, already said every thing to you. Rúben is absolutely devastated for losing to Real Madrid in the penalties. He’s sad and angry, the team dominated the game and still, they were eliminated from the Champions League.

You were waiting for him outside the boys room, waiting to go home. As soon as Rúben steps out, he immediately goes to you as you wrap him in a tight hug, trying to comfort him.

He gets out of your embrace and immediately wraps his hand around your neck gently, while his mouth finds yours to give you a heated and rough kiss. You feel yourself getting hot already, by the way Rúben’s tongue is threatening to travel through the entire space inside your mouth, almost down to your throat.

He stops the kiss and looks into your eyes. “Let’s go home”, he says in a stern voice and you only nod your head.

You already know what’s going to happen once you two get home. Whenever City loses a game, it takes a toll on Rúben, and you’re the only one that can help him feel better, by helping him release all his frustrations. You can feel that he needs you by the way he kissed you earlier, and how his hand is now dominantly resting on your thigh, dangerously close to your center.

His face is shut, his angry expression not changing to a happier one - but you don’t take it personally, you know Rúben too well. He’s not directly mad at you, and you just need to soften him up a little bit.

Once you two arrive at your place, Rúben sloppily discards all his bags and takes off his jacket. You are taking off your shoes, when you notice him looking at you with hunger in his eyes. He grabs you by the hips, kissing you hungrily like it’s been years since he last touched you. You kiss him back, your hand travelling to his hair, so you can pull slightly at the feeling of your tongues fighting for dominance. You try your best to win, but Rúben is not losing anything more tonight.

His right hand leaves your hip to slap your ass and tightly gripping it next. You moan at the sensation and he pushes his tongue even more inside of your mouth. You close your lips around his tongue, sucking on it lightly in a teasing way.

“Don’t start teasing me babe, you’ll regret it” - he told you in a warning tone, speaking directly in your ear.

“Punish me then” - you say in a sexy tone while looking him directly in the eyes. That alone could make Rúben lose his entire composure, but he’s feeling fully dominant tonight, needy to have you to his own will and pleasure. And you want it too. You love frustrated sex with Rúben, you always get your best orgasms from nights like this one.

Just like that, your words ignited a fire inside of him. He picked you up and carried you to your shared bedroom, his mouth never leaving your neck, collarbone and mouth.

Rúben laid you on the bed, already undoing your jeans anxiously. You were still hearing his game shirt, and as you try to take it off, Rúben stopped you.

“Need to fuck with my name on your back, baby” - he said, fire in his eyes already.

His mouth is on you once again, kissing you hard and passionately, letting you know that he wants it all, he wants you entirely. You start palming him through his jeans, but he grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

“I need to take care of you tonight love, let me do it for you” - he begs as his mouth starts travelling down your body, grabbing your shirt between his teeth now, lifting it up slightly so he can start kissing down your torso.

Rúben knows exactly what he’s doing, and starts to focus on diving south of your navel. He kisses all the way down until his mouth is kissing your pussy through your panties.

“Já estás tão molhada para mim, amor, olha para ti” (you’re so wet for me already love, look at you) - he says as his fingers start running up and down your folds, feeling how wet you are through the fabric of your underwear. You can’t help but moan at his portuguese words, barely understanding what he’s saying, but turning you on like crazy, hearing his dirty talking with his thick and raspy voice.

He removes your panties, and starts licking your folds like a cat, slowly but hungrily. You breathe out in pleasure, dying for Rúben’s touch on your skin.

“You taste so good, amor. God, I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you” - he whispers, blowing cold air on your warm cunt, making you hiss and lift your back from the bed slightly at the new sensation.

His tongue coats your pussy with his saliva, mixing it with your own juices - feeling incredibly wet and throbbing just at the sight of your man’s head between your legs. He’s now fully eating you out like he’s been starving for hours, his tongue lapping at your folds while his nose is purposely touching your clit, giving you an immense amount of pleasure.

You moan out loud when he inserts two fingers inside of you, thrusting fast and hard, not being in the mood to make love right now.

“Foda-se, Y/N… tu deixas-me maluco” (fuck, Y/N… you drive me insane) - he says, looking up at your whimpering state, unable to lay still at the skilful way he’s touching you.

His mouth goes back to your pussy, sucking on your clit now, his fingers deep inside of you, touching your sweet spot on purpose to make you squirm under his touch. He holds you in place as he keeps devouring your pussy with his mouth and fucking you with his fingers, already feeling your juices dripping down to his hand.

“És tão boa para mim, amor” (you’re so good to me, love) - you whimper as you feel your orgasm ready to hit you.

“That’s it, baby… cum for me” - he’s now lapping at your clit fast, his fingers never slowing down inside your pussy.

The bubble on your stomach bursts as you cum on Rúben’s hand and mouth, him helping you riding out your high as you firmly grip on his hair, making him groan at the pain.

You breathe heavily as Rúben kisses all the way up your body, reaching your mouth and kissing you passionately. He undoes his pants, palming himself through his boxers until he takes them off as well.

His dick is already hard, ready to fuck his frustrations out.

“De quatro, agora” (on all fours, now) - he whispers in your ear as he slides the tip of his dick through your folds teasingly. You obey his command, your face now on your pillow, your back arching in front of Rúben so he can have the most perfect view of your ass. His hands slide through your butt cheeks, gripping them tightly before slapping your ass. You hiss at the feeling, and he rubs the spot to soothe the pain.

His soft touch relaxes you a bit now, but he gives you another slap. And another one, and another one. Your ass is fully red now, but you can’t help yourself and moan at the feeling - the pain now turning into pleasure.

“Preciso tanto de ti, amor” (i need you so much, love) - he says behind you, while he aligns himself with your entrance and pushes his dick inside your pussy, already thrusting deeply into your center.

He moans at the feeling. “Foda-se, não há melhor sensação do que estar dentro de ti” (fuck, there’s no better feeling than being inside of you) - his breathing now sounds shaky, as he continues to trust deep and hard inside of you.

Your moans and whines are muffled, burying your head on the pillows as you feel Rúben’s entire dick roaming inside of your cunt. The wet sounds coming from your pussy are perfectly audible right now, getting mixed with the sound of your bodies slapping against each other as Rúben is now thrusting like crazy inside of you. “Being so good to me, having my name on your back because you’re mine. You’re all fucking mine” - he says cockily.

His hand goes to grab your shirt tightly, lifting your body from the mattress, getting you even closer to him. Your bodies are now one, his mouth is glued to your neck, marking you as he licks and sucks all your sweet spots there. His hand goes to your face, holding you roughly and dominantly, kissing you hard while you feel his cock incredibly deep inside your pussy.

It’s hard, needy, hungry. He could whisper the most dirty things in your ear and you would love it. He could say the world is yours and you would believe him.

His hands wrap around your hair, making you scream out of pleasure. Your hands search for his head, pulling you closer to yourself as you continue your heated make out session.

Your hips are now moving on their own, merging with Rúben’s, feeling so hot and needy for his dick. You breathe heavily and your head can’t stop thinking about how much you won tonight. Rúben wraps his hand around your neck and applies some pressure, while his mouth goes to your ear.

“Gostas tanto disto, não gostas?” (You love this so much, don’t you?) - he teasingly asks you, his other hand gripping your hip like he’s guiding you, pulling you even closer to him, if that was even possible.

“Amo-te tanto” (I love you so much) - he confesses, his dominant side softening a little bit, while he bites your earlobe.

You’re a moaning mess, your mind is feeling mush, completely lost in all the pleasure that Rúben is giving you.

You can barely answer, but you feel like you’ve found all the answers for all the things that you never even asked. Tonight, it’s just the two of you. You don’t care if it’s loud and dirty, you and Rúben are pleasuring each other, and nothing else matters, you just want to do what you want and what makes you feel good.

“I needed this so much babe, fuck, you feel so good” - he breathes.

“Quero-te tanto” (I want you so much) - he kisses your neck as his fingers now finds your clit, rubbing it furiously while picking up his pace, both chasing your highs.

You’re both saying loose and incoherent words now, grunting, whimpering and moaning while you hear the sounds coming from your bodies, losing count of your senses.

“Que se foda o jogo, és o maior alívio que posso ter” (fuck the game, you’re the biggest relief I can have) - he rubs your pearl faster, you can feel your orgasm approaching already, moaning his name and telling him how good he feels inside of you.

“Vem-te para mim, amor. Deixa-me sentir todo o prazer que te estou a dar” (cum for me, love. Let me feel all the pleasure that I’m giving you) - he licks up your neck as you cry out his name, squirting hard on his dick.

“That was so fucking hot, babe, holy fuck” - he moans as he keeps thrusting into you, making you see starts until he finally cums inside of your desperate pussy.

He holds you still, both of you breathing heavy, helping you lay on the bed.

While you two gather your breaths, Rúben lays on your chest, giving you sweet pecks on your chest and cheek.

You smile at him while you two are making eye contact.

“Thank you” - he sincerely says. “For being my relief, my support, my heart out of my chest. You’re everything to me, you are even better than everything I could have asked for or dreamed about” - he confesses while you hug him tightly.

“I’ll always be by your side, through the good and the bad” - you give him a kiss on his forehead.

“I know. And nothing is more important than us, our bond, our connection. I want this forever” - he whispers in your ear as he starts spooning you, trying to get your body to rest after the previous events.

“You have me forever” - you admit as you snuggle into his body more, ready to fall asleep next to your partner in life.

[nereidprinc3ss]

BESTIE. I was just casually thinking about your whole dybmn series and now I’m wondering, as both reader and Spencer become more confident with their spicy dynamics, what kind of lover would Spencer become with her? New k!nks, maybe?, I JUST genuinely think that Spencer is so whipped for her that he would definitely use toys and anything else, not only to experiment but to get to know and find out about all of her secret facets.

I believe she would be his “creation” like he would be so proud to see her development in her confidence in spicy times like smirking all over as she does anything to please him and he’d be like “yeah, I created that” because I’M BITING MY PILLOW RIGHT NOW and gonna dig up a hole after this to hide myself because my thoughts are so hideous. Girlie, what did you do to me? I wasn’t like this. 😩

oh let’s discuss

18+ long ass rambling and things i think about A Lot ……..

in my opinion (which is not the end all be all everyone can perceive them however they’d like) reader and spencer definitely bring out more sexually adventurous sides of each other like they just have a shit ton of chemistry and for a while ithink spencer would just be easing reader into sexuality so nothing that crazy would happen aside from the power dynamics we see pretty much from the start. i think those would definitely get stronger and occasionally more variable. im not usually into sub!spence but i think there would be times he would definitely allow reader to have more control (i don’t ever think he’d be like calling them mommy lmfao) but aside from that i could also see him veering VERY rarely in a slightly harder!dom direction. like he’ll never hurt or seriously degrade you but in p3 reader says something about liking it when he acts like they belong to him and he was really into that. as the relationship progresses i think he would almost start taking more ownership of r’s body in a way, like obviously nothing is ever nonconsensual but he just knows you so well that it’s like… well he knows you better than you know yourself sooo you let him call the shots, but at his core i think spencer is forever oriented to please. he just wants to make you feel good, that’s always gonna be his goal, so he’s always going to listen and even if the power dynamic is weighed in his favor you are actually always the one in control bc he’d do anything for u lol

in terms of kinks…. idk, i never really see spencer as a super kinky guy? like he just knows too much about paraphilia and obviously sexual violence ties into a lot of his job so i sincerely doubt he’d find giving or receiving pain arousing beyond like slapping your ass or you scratching his back or whatever. love is always at the heart of sex for him and that’s going to be the most important part, he’ll never be able to see you just as a body. he’ll always see you as the person he’s in love with and there are things he’s simply not willing to do to the person he loves.

because of his trauma he’s super duper hesitant about bondage BUT i think he wouldn’t be completely opposed to very light restraints on you or him, he’d just have to be in a specific mood. i also never see him as being someone who’s super into toys because he’s such a luddite, he can barely stand having an email i doubt he’s going to have an extensive collection of sex toys. but he would so use your vibrator on you or make you use it on yourself in front of him again if he’s in a very specific mood

oh but YES he DELIGHTS in having defiled and corrupted you. idc idc im not accepting criticism on this. like he spoils you so much that you’re used to getting him whenever you want and so you’re not very subtle about it. if you get all needy in public and start draping yourself all over him and giving him looks and pulling on his sleeve because you want to go home he’ll fuck you in rossi’s bathroom because he wants to encourage your lewd behavior.

obviously he has boundaries tho and he has respect for you and the people around him like he won’t do anything that draws attention and he’ll only ever do things he knows he can get away with without anyone else noticing

later seasons spence also LOVES when you leave marks on him he thinks it’s cute how you mark your territory and he’s not at all embarrassed if there is a hickey above his collar at work. in his mind it’s like. why would he care about other peoples opinions on his sex life when they have nothing to do with it god i think about this all the time

anyway im sorry if this was disappointing😭 idkidk, thank you for asking about my thoughts tho bc i am always down for headcanons

[tipsyleaf]

No okay, cause Leon’s wife def had an old stinky cat that just wouldn’t die when they were first dating. That cat had probably lost all of its 9 lives already, it was hanging on by a thread. But it was so loving! Poor kitty, was probably rubbing up against her stomach all day the day she went into labor with Violet. Isn’t that crazy, cats can predict when women go into labor before they even feel anything??

Eventually the poor kitty passed, and as time passed by and they had more kids, I could see Leon getting a family dog. Probably a German shepherd or golden retriever. The kids had some pets as well, I could see Violet having some weird pet like a snake or a bearded dragon, which her mother would deathly be afraid of.

Cecilia probably has a cat, she calls it kitty. Or a hamster. That hamster randomly just disappeared one day, and no one knows where it is.

- Anon! 🎀

(God this was fun to think about this stuff!)

His wife had an old crusty cat that was almost as old as she was when Leon and her met. Just a little old lady cat named Winnie who would scream at Leon until he picked her up. You knew Leon was the one because she usually hated men but adored him with her entire little old lady heart. I imagine she probably died not long after Violets first birthday. But everyday that cat would be laying by her tiny humans crib. Protecting her as she slept.

The dog probably came after Cecilia was born (DI Era Leon cause the timeline matches up) a dog that got brought into the DSO as a therapy animal. His name's Smokey and Leon took him on. That dog is as spoiled as the kids are. Constantly up Leon's ass wherever he is in the house. You think it's the universe giving you a pat on the back for all the times he's bugged you while trying to have some time to yourself.

Violet would have a male ferret. Name it Stretch. And it's not that her mother's scared of the ferret... It's just very noisy and messy. But Violet loves this thing. Carries him around the house on her shoulders so he can "feel tall". She taught him how to play dead. Wears him like a decorative scarf and he doesn't care. Violet probably even has a tunnel system going around her room leading different ways just to go back to his cage.

Cecilia definitely has a teddy bear hamster. She originally wanted a rabbit so her parents got her a hamster as a starter pet to see how responsible she is. Puff, the hamsters name, often goes missing... Not on purpose! He's a tricky little bugger that even got away from her mom and dad when she went away to camp for a month during the summer. He was missing for a week but you woke up one morning and found him in the cabinet in the kitchen when making coffee. Nearly had a heart attack, but he was perfectly fine. So eventually you and Leon upgraded this hamster to the life of luxury, a giant tank with attached playground for him to run around in. He hasn't escaped since!

[coryothesub]

Can you imagine that Coryo gets turned on by being caressed or having his hair pulled?

Okay okay Coryo loves little caresses and getting his hair pulled it literally drives him crazy. Also this is gonna take place in the gym because I’m writing this like 20 minutes after I left the gym so here y’all go.

nsfw / mdni / sub!coryo / softdom!reader

You loved seeing Coryo in his cute little gym attire. It wasn't so little in fact because he liked to be covered from head to toe wearing loose shorts over his jogging pants and a long sleeve gym shirt paired with loose fitting tank top.

The top part of his hair was gathered in a tiny half bun to prevent stray curls from falling on his forehead and that was your favorite part. Poor boy felt a good deal of self consciousness among all the hunky gym bros, but it seemed to disappear when he was with you. Mostly because you were simply eating him up with your eyes shamelessly turning the workout into an act of foreplay.

You watched him stretch before the warm up, his slim long limbs looking so fine while he was assuming rather suggestive positions right in front of you.

His face was all serious as he was always extremely focused. Oh you loved watching him in the gym. And he loved watching you.

But it was nearly impossible to only use your eyes. You just couldn't keep your hands to yourself while he was flexing his muscles and letting out pretty little groans here and there.

You walked right up to him as he was setting up the biceps curl machine and somehow you just found your hand on the small of his back and then it slowly traveled upwards sending warm shivers down his spine. 

Your fingers traced his broad, slim shoulders finally crawling their way up to his curls and tugging on them gently. 

Coryo gave you a slightly confused look before he noticed your flirty smile. The boy immediately realized what was happening. You had decided to turn this whole workout in a sweet little torture session and Coryo couldn't say he would exactly mind. In fact he was kinda happy about his decision to wear those loose shorts over his leggings because the feeling of your warm touch went straight to his cock.

You stood by him watching his biceps flexing as he did his arm routine. Your hand landed on his shoulder and you let your fingers slide down the strained muscle.

“You're so hot like this, baby boy,” he heard a barely audible whisper, immediately deciding to do a few more this time just to bask in your sheer lust as your hand traveled back up his arm in a gentle caress.

Your fingers found a stray curl sticking to his neck and you pulled at it causing him to let out a quiet whimper. It was so fun to play your little games in front of everyone yet making sure that no one would notice just how heated up you both were.

Your reaction to his arm routine encouraged him to do some pull ups and you of course offered your assistance, helping him to get back on the ground safely. There was no particular need for that but he didn't mind your arms gently hugging his waist and pressing your bodies together in a moment of pleasant friction. You bit your lip feeling that his cock was already so hard under all those layers of fabric.

You grabbed his perky ass while you two were walking to the free workout zone and he gave you a bratty little smirk knowing full well what he was doing to you. You felt wetness pooling up in your panties feeling ready to climb him like a tree right then and there.

“Patience is a virtue,” Coryo whispered to you before getting down on the mat to do some crunches.

You were holding his legs in place, running your hands up and down his thighs. Coryo tried to focus, letting out sharp exhales at each move, but you could recognize that lusty glimmer in his eyes. He just wanted to have you so bad and his eyes widened seeing you strategically placing your upper body on his knees so that he could stare right at your cleavage each time he lifted his shoulders from the floor.

You both were burning for each other when it finally got to the final stretching. Coryo asked you to help straighten his back and you didn't hesitate to pull at his curls harshly causing him to let out a little whimper. Coryo looked at you, his eyes full of longing and despair, you both just knew there was no way you’d be able to wait until getting home.

Luckily the sauna was empty and you pushed your hand under the waistband of his trunks while his long slender fingers pushed aside your bathing suit.

You pumped him frantically while he fingered your wet cunt squelching sounds filling the hot little room. You were both covering each other's mouths with your free hand, feeling both terrified and aroused by the very real possibility of getting caught at any moment. 

You both sped up your pace to the max feeling the climax approaching as a wild adrenaline rush took over your sweat covered bodies. You watched Coryo's eyelids flutter and small beads of sweat running down his forehead as his fingers curled against your sweet spot making your whole body twitch at the sensation.

Muffled moans filled the sauna room as you came all over Coryo's fingers and a thick load of cum covered your hand.

“You did so good angel,” you hummed against his lips after they met yours in a quick kiss.

Coryo let out a cute giggle trying to clean up the mess you’d both made.

“You should join my workout sessions more often.”

[ladykissingfish]

*Kisame gently bathing an injured Itachi*

Kisame, speaking quietly: So many scars you have. Your skin certainly tells an interesting tale.

Itachi, head hung down, half asleep: A tale of abject failure, maybe.

Kisame: *sighs* You’re certainly in a mood this evening, aren’t you? Lift your arms, please.

Itachi: *does as asked and groans* God … I feel so sore. And this headache just refuses to leave.

Kisame: Perhaps this’ll encourage you to actually listen to me when I try to warn you about overusing those eyes of yours …

Itachi: I know, I know …

Kisame: I know you know, but my point is that you don’t listen. Every battle, every encounter we have, you lean on that sharingan until you’re at the brink of exhaustion. When is it going to be enough, Itachi? We CAN train in other means of combat, you know? I’ve seen your Taijutsu before, it’s pretty fiercesome, so why —

Itachi: You worry too much, you know that? *scoots over and playfully swirls his fingers around in the water* Why don’t you climb on in here with me, and I’ll show you some of my other skills ~

Kisame: *gives Itachi a wry smile and shakes his head* Nice try, brat, but it’s not working. *holds out Itachi’s robe for him* Come on, you’ve been in there long enough. Let’s get you into bed and a hot cup of tea in your hands.

Itachi: *steps out of the tub and into the waiting robe* When you say “bed”, do you mean —

Kisame: Yes; my bed. I prefer you there, anyway. Easier to keep an eye on you.

Itachi, indignantly: Oi, you’re acting like I’m some child that can’t be trusted. Worse than that, you’re giving me the same treatment that Sasori-san gives Deidara, or Kakuzu-san gives Hidan! Don’t lump me in with those immature brats! I’m not —

*from down the hall*

Deidara: Danaaa! You’re being a jerk, hm!

Sasori: If me being a “jerk” means preventing you from jumping off the roof to “prove that death is a social construct”, then I guess I’ll just keep on being a jerk.

*from the opposite end of the hall*

Hidan: ‘Kuzuuuu! You never let me have any fun, you bastard!

Kakuzu: Fun? For the love of that fake god of yours, how is wrestling a just-out-of hibernation bear FUN?! I KNOW your stupid ass can’t die but can you think of me for once, eh? Can you think of the guy whose gonna have to sew your ridiculous body back together??

Itachi, to Kisame: See?! I may overuse my eyes but at least I’m not actively doing crazy things like those two! I —

*Tobi walks up*

Tobi: Itachi-senpai! Are we still having our dango eating contest tonight? Tobi is positive that he’ll beat your record of 142 dango in one hour!

Kisame:

Itachi: … Okay, even half-blind I can still see that smug look on your face, Kisa.

[alieninvasionsarenotajoke]

Everymanhybrid headcanons you have?

Ohmygod you have just opened pandoras box my friend and I thank you so much for it Before Slendy/The EMH channel: So I'd like to think all the boys met in Highschool with Jeff and Vinny meeting first and Evan joining the friend group around sophomore year. Evan gives me the vibes of an extrovert who adopted two introverts and never left them. He was also probably the one who introduced them to their other friends (Nick, Daniel, etc) and the rest is history !

They all like skateboarding, mainly Evan. He's the one who taught the other two how to with Vinny absolutely KILLING it and Jeff.... not so much.

This is less headcanon and more canon since Vinny and Jeff have guitars lying around. But they all play some sort of instruments and have definitely thought about making a band before. Jeff would be on the guitar, Vinny maybe the bass or keyboard, and Evan would go crazy as a drummer.

Speaking of which Vinny and Jeff give me big band kid energy. Mainly Jeff.

I can also see Vinny being a theater kid.

OH! Steph was homeschooled and chronically online (in a millennial way) because of it. This lead her into so many fandoms and she wrote so much cringe fanfiction. Some she wouldn't even let Evan see.

Also Steph is really into 2000s animated MTV shows and kinned Pheobe from Downtown.

One more thing about Steph because I love her and I'm 100% not projecting onto her ;D She loves mindless self indulgence, she wants revenge, and modest mouse. I feel like Vinny and her bonded over music, especially Modest Mouse.

After slendy/emh channel: Vinny is a very big Modest Mouse fan, like listened to all the albums and probably knows the bandmembers names and lore. His favorite album is "The Moon and Antarctica" which became a comfort album during his time living with Habit. He listened to "Alone down there" over and over because it reminded him of his friendship with Evan.

Sidenote if you haven't listened to "The moon and antarctica" you really should cause most of the songs give me EMH vibes. Especially Alone Down There and Tiny Cities made of Ashes. I honestly want to make a analysis on that album and how it fits with EMH, but that's for another time. :D Back to headcanons. Habit loves frustrating boardgames like monopoly or uno. Mostly because he feeds off the emotions. When Vinny lived with Habit, he would always bug him about playing Monopoly specifically. Vinny gave in one time and played for a bit until he realized Habit was somehow cheating.

Habit also ate the pieces in front of Vinny as a power move.

He also likes how metal tastes.

Habit might have pica.

That's all for now because if I go on any longer I'd start writing a whole ass book. If you'd like more headcanons I'd be glad to post some cause I have plenty !! Sorry if anything here is confusing I'm bad at putting thoughts into words sometimes XD

if you've read this far, here have an Evan:

[reidsdimples]

POV: You're Spencer's dom/mistress

Spencer Reid x Reader

18+

Submissive Spencer/ Dominate fem/ begging

"Sit down, Spencer," you demand again. You're pacing back and forth in front of him, his eyes unable to leave you.

You surprised him in his apartment, already dressed in the leather little get up that weakens him. He had a long few days at work, you know that. You know he's tired and stressed. But you also know that's why he needs this, he needs the release that only you can give him. God does it drive you crazy to see him tensing with need, his eyes blown wide, his eyebrows arched in curiously.

His hair is deliciously tousled from a long plane ride and he's shocked you're there. You purposefully ignored him all day just to put him on edge, just to make him squirm, and now you're going to make him beg. He loved to beg for it.

He does as he's told at takes a seat in the wooden chair, his eyes scanning over your exposed legs, ass, and breasts which are being pushed upward by the lingerie. You take the tip of the riding crop and use it to tilt his chin upward so he meets your eyes.

"Were you good while you were away?" You ask him. His brown eyes widen at that and he looks away briefly. "No?" You tilt your head before bringing the riding crop down on his leg, snapping his attention back to you and causing him to jump.

"I- I was good but I needed t..." he trails off when you crouch down in front of him. "Please mistress, I'm sorry," his cheeks are red. He made himself cum without telling you, without your permission.

"Bad boy," you tut. But you love it, you love the thought of him alone in a hotel room stroking his cock and biting down on his whimpers as he makes himself cum. You trace the leather tip of the riding crop down his forearm, across his long fingers, and back up to his neck until goosebumps appear. He's nervous, he doesn't know what you're going to do.

"Please, I- I need you," he whimpers. His perfect mouth forms the word 'please' so prettily, you'll never tire of it. His cock is straining against his pants, his mouth watering.

You bend down in front of him and hover your lips above his, teasingly close. You finally kiss him when his breathing shudders, the need burning him alive. He needs to taste you, to feel you, he desperately needs to come apart at your command.

He mouth melts into yours and it's heady the way his taste goes straight to your head. He reaches up to grab at your waist but you place a hand on his chest and pin him back into the chair. He huffs in frustration.

You palm his cock through his pants suddenly, forcing him to still completely. He tilts his head back when you start rubbing the length of him slowly, your own pussy quivering with need for it. This little game you two play is equally as fulfilling for both of you. You pull his cock free of his pants a step back, he snaps his gaze to you as you take him in- hot and needy and exposed.

"Show me how you made yourself cum, show me just how bad you were, Spencer," you demand and sit on the table in front of him.

He swallows nervously but does as he's told- gripping his cock and pumping it slowly. You spread your legs, your feet on the bench below you, and run your fingers between your pussy lips. His mouth pops open as he takes in the sight of you. You rub circles around your clit through the thong before pushing them to the side to give him a better view.

"Fuck," he groans and picks up his pace. His jaw clenches as he pumps himself harder, faster. You plunge your fingers into yourself, soaking them. He eyes your dripping pussy and licks his lips as he squirms and pumps his hips into his hand.

"Stop," you demand. He does, but not without narrowing his eyes on you. He bites back whatever sassy thing he may have thought to say. "Come here, now."

He doesn't hesitate to close the space between you. He leans on the table, arms on either side of you, eyes digging into you. You love when he becomes more dominate as his need grows. But this is still your game. You shove your wet fingers between his pouty lips and he sucks them in deep, his tongue swirling and lapping up every bit of your arousal with a satisfied moan.

You keep your eyes locked on his and lay back on the table, raising your legs onto his shoulders.

"Fuck me, Spencer," you instruct. His jaw relaxes, his mouth falling open in awe at the sight of you below him.

He grips your hips and pulls you closer to the edge of the table, the thong hurriedly removed. He sinks his cock into you, filling you so completely that you moan as he works his way in.

He grips your ankles, hugging your legs as they're wrapped around his neck and thrusts into you. He finds a quick and violent rhythm, pounding into you as you urge him on.

"Fuck yeah, baby just like that," you nod and grab at his tie so he looks at you. "You're such a good boy," you reassure him which only causes him to fuck you harder.

"I'm your good boy," he breathes out as he arches to find that spot inside of you that causing you to cum.

"My good boy," you roll your head back, taking every inch of him as your orgasm builds. He pulls your legs to wrap around his waist, finding an even better angle and begins rubbing your clit.

"Spencer," you moan as you exploded around him, soaking him in your orgasm. He looks down, eyes wide and in shock. You'd cum for him many times but never squirted. He smiles and continues his thrusts into you, more desperate, more sporadic. "You're close, you can cum for me," you give him permission.

His nails dig into your thighs as he whimpers, the sounds of wet flesh slapping together filling the space. It feels so good, too good. His breathy moans and grunts of appreciation intensify as he grips your tits, squeezing and rolling the nipples between his fingers.

"You're doing so good," you moan.

You feel that send him over the edge, his pulsing cock pulling another orgasm out of you with a scream. You tighten around him as he pumps you full of cum, both grinding out almost pained sounds of pleasure. Too good, it feels too good. He shudders and stills, holding himself up on the edge of the table.

Your eyes meet, both of you panting. But the night is just getting started.

[fandomtrxsh19]

I present to you...

BG 3 Companions (+ Others) as Sonic Adventure 2 Snapcub fandub quotes

Astarion: Talk about a low budget flight! No food or movies? I'm- (Gale peeks out of the doorway) Gale?! What are you doing here?

Karlach: You need to go back home. (Karlach jumps off of a cliff with her axe that just appeared) I have a suspicion you left the oven oooooooooooooonnnnnn!

Gale: Please. Stop. Your mother would be very disappointed.

Astarion: The password is "eat my asshole".

Shadowheart: Awwwwwwww, that's not an actual passwooooooooord....

Astarion: And my social security is 69.

Wyll: DRAMA DETECTED. BLOCKING ACCOUNT.

Dame Aylin: I miss my wife, Shadowheart. I miss her a lot.

Karlach: Did we ever establish our names? Hi, I'm Karlach!

Wyll: No. Nice to meet you. I'm Wyll. Ow.

Karlach: Sorry for hitting you so much. It's just... it's part of the narrative. Wham!

Shadowheart: I'm taking over Victoria's Secret, I'm taking over Best Buy, the news is MINE, and everyone else can leave! You see that PLANET!? I'M TAKING IT TOO!! It looks like a fucking WALNUT!

Minthara: Fuck you, Moon! You never had the cheese I wanted!

Lae'zel: I hope you're ready to die, It's gonna be like Evangelion. Get the fuck out.

Karlach: Whoa...

Astarion: That is like, Evangelion or some shit man, that is crazy. Anyway.

Wyll: Wait a minute, I have an epiphany!

Karlach: Wait, what's-

Gale: Let's go!

Karlach: What's an epiphany?

Gale : How do you think I feel being CUCKED by a HEDGEHOG?

Shadowheart : Well, it might upset you to know that I also fucked your wife. [pulls out artefact] 

Karlach: AND SHE HAD AN ARTEFACT IN HER VAGINA?

Lae'zel: Good job.

and last, but certainly not least

Lae'zel : I've come to make an announcement: Shadowheart's a bitch-ass motherfucker. She pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, she took her istik fuckin' quilly dick out.-and he pissed on my fucking wife, and she said her vagina was "THIS BIG", and I said "That's disgusting!" So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter dot com. Shadowheart, you got a small vagina! It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller! And guess what? Here's what my vagina looks like!  That's right, baby! All points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! She fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck Faerun! That's right, this is what you get, my SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on Faerun, I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOON![ HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, SHAR? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!  You have 23 hours before the piss DRRRROPLLLETS hit fucking Faerun! Now get out of my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!