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#i just wanna enjoy all my things but i cant when im listening to a song an ten diffrent people come to mind so i have to pick between them
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dose anyone else hate going to another fixation even though you know that you'll come back to it because you really like it and nurotypical people (and sometimes nurodivergent people) have drilled into your head that nurodivergent peoples need to have only one thing they like and obsess over throughout their life even though, like i said before, you know you'll go back to it bacause you always go back to it, no matter what it is.
anyways
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dancing-with-stars · 7 months
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guys. guys !!!!
#vanu is rambling#ok idk this is gonna b a happy post but i think there are lots of people who love me in this world. or at least enjoy my presence.#like i always always always ALWAYS doubt if my friends or family like me and in my head they all secretly hate me#but like for these past couple months things have been different.#i don’t feel so left out (like i usually do in groups) or alone.#like my friends genuinely want me there like they always ask me to go places with them. and i almost always say no because im so busy or#i just cant but they still ask me everytime. yesterday the whole group was calling and playing a game and i got a bunch of texts like hey#where are you u shud join the call it’s rly fun ! but i just couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone at that moment.#today they were rly happy when i joined the call and idk it made me feel like. oh. maybe my friends do like me#and also i have two moods: i’m either super talkative or i go into my little shell and don’t say anything/add to a convo. and like during#those moments they’ll be like hey u ok? or they’ll just listen to me talk about ceramics and how fun it is or how much i hate eating pears#and like. we laugh so much together. like i have so much fun with all of them i love every single one of them omg#and scary thing is we might not even be friends after we start college. but yk what? that’s okay i don’t wanna think about that.#because like who cares? i’m not gonna let my fears ab the future ruin my friendships. i’ll always love them anyways. and we’ll always call.#i’m glad i met them. they’re all such beautiful and funny and amazing strong willed-people. they are my friends.#it’s just so crazy to me that they willingly want to spend time w me and are sad when i can’t. and they’re so understanding at the same time#they don’t get mad about it. and like they have mad eng last year in high school so much more enjoyable.#someone told me that this is ur last year do things so when you look back you don’t regret anything- so you can be proud of what you did#and my friends helped me with that. and like i still feel lonely the majority of the class because despite this there’s like a permanent#stain of sadness right there at the bottom of my heart. but they make the hard days more manageable.#like i’ve been on call with these people until ungodly hours at night just laughing and i go to sleep feeling a bit lighter.#they introduced me to the tech side of theater which i never thought i’d get into but here i am. they teach me silly facts and words in asl.#they taught me dances- knowing full well i SUCK at it- because we all had fun with it. theyve taught me it’s OKAY to be vulnerable in#friendships and that sometimes being open/yourself is quite literally the best thing you can do for your own soul and others. they’re cool#people really. really cool people
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pizzapizzadickz · 2 years
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#diary#personal#i was gonna journal but im far too tired now and i cant.#so instea imma ramble here.#anyways. i was thinking lately how as i got earlier i sorta would just. cut off parts of myself.#like. id observe everyone around me. figure out what was socially acceptable. and remove what wasnt.#sometimes... people would say little things. and i work very very hard to to fix that about myself.#like. if i dont understand humor. i worked REALLY hard so i could. and so i could figure out how to joke and talk with others.#and god. anytime i make friends i try REALLY FUCKING HARD to make sure i like. do their activities that theh like.#i just sorta hope that i can have friends that way. if they like cars well now i do. if they like computers now i do. etc.#and like. i used to try hard to keep up with pop culture shit so i could feel included. cuz otherwise id be left out.#honeslty all of elemetry school i remember trying so hard to fit in and it really made me feel like i lost myself in it all.#i remember in high school a lot of this came to a head and i sorta just. felt lost a lot.#i like. feel a lot better now. i dont do things i dont wanna. i dont try so hard to blend in. but its still really hard sometimes.#i remember. i used to always have to ask what people mean. what a joke was about. i felt excluded from things a lot.#i sorta. gave up on friends in like. grade 7-8ish. i was also sorta depressed. so id just. watch people#and in the winter. id sometimes walk around in little circles and make patterns in the snow. recess wasnt long enough tho#i remember in grade 3 when i sorta became the token loner id just. walk around aimlessly at school.#it was sad being excluded but i really learned to enjoy it to. to really feel the wind. to listen to the sounds. to feel present#i love the swings. still do. might be why i rock so much now? ive always just loved throwing my body around violently.#it honestly makes me really sad now bc it hurts now. i cant move in ways that are fun anymore.#i can rock tho. and i do a lot. yknow i saw a girl(?) on the bus the other day rocking#it was so... strange to see it from the outside. i wonder if thats what i look like now that i think about it.#it was distressing tho bc they seemed upset. bc thats how i rock when upset. just. very regimented.#theyd stop abruptly. then continue. i could really only see myself in that. i wanted to ask if they were okay but...#i felt that it could potentially cause more stress. besides. idk if theyre autistic or whatnot. it could be invasive. i hope they were okay#mn. i sorta wish i had never just. cut away at myself. removing what i deemed garbage.#im... so much different from the way i portay myself sometimes.#i love looking at things. just. staring at stuff. watching people. and. when im with others i remove that.#when i work i have to remove the fun from things. and that sucks.
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toxycodone · 3 months
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oviposition anon teehee i wanted to elaborate more last night but i was tired as fuck and zooted off the penjamin. but like getting separated from the rest of the party and encountering the slime creacher alone with Laios.... you think he'd tell you what the thing is? im sure he knows alllll about it, like he has a private little list of all the most fuckable monsters and of course the damn oviposition slime is on there. do u think he just dives right in head first, or does he try to create some kind of plausibly deniable situation in battle? youre terrified cause you cant make heads or tails of this creature in order to kill it and arent strong with fire magic but.... why does he look like he's having fun? and is that his clothes getting dissolved in there....? and why is he so hot all helpless suspended in the pink gel (ive just now decided the slime is pink), shuddering with pleasure as each near transparent egg enters his body? if you were to get caught by it without knowing what it is i dont think he'd leave you in there, but when he pulls you out of the goop his raging hard on is impossible to ignore and just BEGS questioning.... maybe you need to go seek out another one? or maybe i need to get writing
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LISTEN TO ME. ANON YOU ARE ONE HUNDRED PERCENT ONTO SOMETHING. (And I would 100% be down to read something full about this bc oh my god???) and pink slime is the superior color you’re based.
contents: monster fucking, mutual masturbation? if you can call it that?
When you two encounter the slime, Laios is oddly…excited? I mean, he’s always excited to see monsters, but this. Is different. He doesn’t brandish his weapon or look stiff at all when you two encounter it, so you put away yours and you’re like…what the fuck is the deal man??
Laios looks between you and the slime. After a few moments, he casually walks to you.
“Well…um…this slime. They’re usually aggressive, but, you can tell by the color that it’s breeding season. And they’re unusually docile when this occurs…”
So you’re like? Okay. Awesome. No fight required. Let’s get out of here.
But Laios taps his fingers. He looks away a little as he plays with his thumbs.
“You see…it’s docile. But it doesn’t mean we can just leave. Unless we want to find another route. But it’s going to keep going until it eventually finds an adventurer…to use as a host….”
And you’re kinda like um? So do you wanna kill it? Or
And Laios is like “I HAVE AN IDEA. So…the secretions of this slime numb pain and promote healing. If we help this slime out…we can get some of those. It may be useful when Marcille’s out of mana….” Laios then puts his hands on your shoulders and looks at you seriously. “I PROPOSE…we let this slime use us as hosts. And in return, we collect its secretions and save any other unaware adventurer an encounter with it!”
And you’re floored. But once he explains to you, it’s just eggs (they lay them in adventurers to spread their kind to other floors). And it’ll feel *good*. You put your hands on your hips.
“Let me guess. You’ve been waiting for us to encounter this monster, huh….?”
*Cue that iconic Laios blushing panel.*
Anyways, you accept. Laios gives you the rundown from his guide and notes from his journal. First, you have to remove your clothing. The slime will get them soaked and likely tear them to shreds anyways, and if you don’t have a spare you’re screwed. Then, the slime’s secretions will coax you into relaxation. You’ll feel yourself go limp, but it’s not a bad thing. It’ll just make it easier for this whole process—so don’t fight it. Lastly…just enjoy? The slime does all the work and the eggs aren’t dangerous. You’ll pass them in a few days when the incubation period has succeeded (Laios wants to keep one or two to eat, but he doesn’t explicitly say that now).
And so you agree. It seems…oddly fun. Neither of you get time to really do anything sexual while dungeon crawling. And this seems like a good release.
And so you let it happen and it’s fucking MIND BLOWING. The slime’s secretions are absorbed through your skin as it surrounds you, making you feel some weird mix between drunk and high. Your body is limp, but everything you feel is extremely heightened.
The slime teases you all over and gently prods at your holes before slowly opening you up. (if you have a cervix) it’s numbing properties keep it from hurting as it spreads you open and pumps its eggs into your womb/hole. It’s honestly one of the best experiences you’ve had.
It’s like. Some sort of ethereal mutual masturbation experience with Laios, because when you look at him his skin is almost as pink as the slime. His brows are furrowed, eyes shut tight as he moans wantonly, not a care in the world. You can tell when an egg is laid in him bc his face contorts, but then his licks his lips and lets out a shaky moan. There’s already streaks of white in the slime and you’re not sure if it’s just a ton of precum or if he’s already came from the slime.
But you don’t have a lot of time to think about that before you’re shuddering from your own orgasm. It seems the slime coaxes as many as it can from you and Laios—as the more you relax and enjoy the experience the easier it is to continue pumping eggs into your system.
And afterwards, the slime resumes its usual light blue color and withdraws from you two. If you weren’t mistaken…you’d think it was blushing….theres two pink patches left on its “cheeks” as it slithers away, streaks of cum and slick still present in its body.
And. Of course. In typical Laios fashion, while you two are coming back to your senses, covered in slick and slime and who knows what else. All he can do is look at you with that same dopey lovestruck expression and mumble about how much he loves you.
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cokou · 1 month
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I HAVE RETURNED ONCE AGAIN!!
first I wanna say congrats to my pookie for getting over 100 followers 😍😍 (im so late 🤭)
but my request today is strawhats x gn!reader (or any gender you like) and literally just random cuddling headcannonss- ngl ive been feeling lonely af and need 2 get 2gether (I should be going for therapy, but instead I sit in my room and simp for fictional anime boys that will never be real 😔😔)
-(ps; this was ashs1mps4ace ☺️)
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Note ✉* ~ OMG TY SM FOR THE CONGRATS I LOVE YOU BB || Last fic of all before i go hiatus because I love this request and i should do it so i did!! 🥰🥰 || Do not translate, transfer, or reform, this is my only account (exp. Ao3), will not be cross posted anywhere. || 𖤐٭┆Masterlist
Summary* ~ Title itself, cuddling hcs! Warnings* ~ sweet cuddlings😋 || Genre* ~ SFW
ᶜᵃʳᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ˢᵒᵐᵉ ᵐᵘˢᶦᶜ, ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ?
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❝MONKEY D. LUFFY❞
•Honestly, he is such a silly boy. I just know that he would use his gum-gum fruit and wrap his arms around you more than 10 times!
•Coming in as number 2 for the most softest and most smooth skin ever, i mean he's basically rubber right? He would be very nice to cuddle with especially with him fruit. You could hug him tightly and you'll feel like you're hugging a piece of huge HUGE pillow.
•Did i mention that he laughs every 5 seconds of cuddling? Yeah, he would be laughing for an hour straight with his arms wrapped around you.
•He isn't the top fan of cuddles, but whenever you initiate it or maybe if he's feeling a bit under the weather he would make it as an exception.
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❝RORONOA ZORO❞
•Said no the first time you had asked him if you two could cuddle. After you convinced him, he actually enjoyed most of it and would never admit that he did.
•Whenever you ask him he'd say, "Again with that stupid thing? Okay let's go." Would drag you to the bed and never let you go untill he's asleep or you need to go to the bathroom.
•His skin is fairly rough but also soft, his muscles could headlock you anytime and you're afraid of it happening. He squeezes you so tight and he thinks that he's doing it softly and that you were enjoying it, but reality is you cant even breathe with his arms around you.
•Falls asleep as soon as you land on the bed and snores so loud it deafens you.
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❝NAMI❞
•She 100% initiated to hug and cuddle with you! Super sweet, super soft, super smooth, and smells amazing. You enjoy being in her arms everytime you get the chance, so you savor every second.
•Usually happens everytime she's irritated and wants to get off some steam and happens every night you two will be going to sleep.
•Arms so soft you fell asleep as soon as she wrapped her arms around you, and she smells so nice (money) that you always end up falling asleep on her arms and got her complaining that she cant feel anything other than a familiar static feeling in her arms.
•Although when you are the one who initiate it, there would absolutely be no problem at all, neither of you two turns down the offer of the endless soft cuddles!!
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❝VINSMOKE SANJI❞
•HIS USUAL HEART EYES BABY!! Would 100000% initiate it and would NOT stop bothering you until you accept his offer, luckily it only takes you 1 time to actually accept his offer.
•He prepares the bed wayyy before he asks you, designs it with rose petals, scented candles, roses on the bed, the room smells like your favorite scent, and of course his cooking!!
•Once you two cuddle, he will never let go. His hug is suprisingly loose, to make you comfortable. He would offer you everything you need, foods, blankets, more pillows, you name it!
•He also smells like rose petals and little bit of deo (for hygiene ofc) and that makes it even more enjoyable in his arms!
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❝USOPP❞
•... "Whats that?"
•Had to go on a full 1 hour explanation of what cuddling is and how it works to him. He listens so intense and he almost looks like a child missing the point of a lesson😭. He also bombards you with soooo much questions.
•But after all, he agrees to cuddle with you and you both enjoy the time being with each other. Also he doesn't know how to cuddle so you take in as the big spoon!
•Im sorry to say this but, i personally think he smells a bit like guava. It's not in a rude way but personally because they're sometimes so busy that they cant even take a bath, so cuddles with him are only happening after he takes a bath.
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❝TONY TONY CHOPPER❞
• "Hehe, asking me to cuddle isn't gonna make me flattered!"
•THE SOFTEST OF EVERYONE, i mean he's a furball right? He feels like a cuddly bear and he doesn't like that. He thinks that it offends him whenever he gets called anything else other than a reindeer.
•Would only accept cuddles if you'd help him with his rumble balls making, Which you always do so it isn't that big of a problem. The only thing is that the ingredients are most definitely the hardest part.
•He smells like a newly bathed puppy in strawberry scented shampoo. He also falls asleep very fast in your arms and would deny that he enjoyed his time with you, he thinks you're very sweet and kind so he reluctantly agree (he'd refuse to everyone)!
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❝NICO ROBIN❞
•You would be the first to initiate and she would accept without hesitation, so many reasons why. She thinks that you're the sweetest of every strawhat (besides chopper) and that you seem very delicate.
•Her hair smells like fresh flower scented shampoo and she is very soft, her arms gives you so much comfort and of course she uses her devil fruit whenever you two cuddle.
•Her devil fruit helps her big spoon you and gives you extra warmth in her arms that youll never forget, ever. She's also sometimes the one who initiates the cuddling session but mostly you.
•Cuddles happens regularly before sleep and waking up, with her beside you and arms on you, you take long before getting off the bed with her wince you wanna stay with her in that position forever. We love Robin!!
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©Cokou 2024, all works belongs to me.
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magisland · 3 months
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THE DRUMMER
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“cmon, yn, just this time!” your best friend whines, “we’re gonna have fun, i swear!”
“seokmin, i told you a million times, i hate concerts! im not going” you say and watch your best friend pouts, already knowing what’s about to come: his endless sulking. “…fine! im going to the concert with you”
“youre the best!” he immediately smiles brightly and hugs you, “now lets go! we cant be late!”
arriving at the place, you already regret going, theres some many people talking and drinking, some of them already tipsy. you sigh and follow seokmin who’s walking towards the stage, wanting to get a clear vision of the concert when it starts.
the band finally appears and the vocalist introduces themselves, The Volunteers, before they start to play and sing. not gonna lie, the song is good and the vocalist has a pretty voice, but youre paying that much attention on that, your eyes are fixed on the drummer.
its like youre hypnotized by the way his blonde hair falls on his face while he plays and the way he smirks when he glances at you, like he noticed youre staring at him. youre mentally cursing yourself and trying to stop looking at him, but it seems like your eyes dont want to listen to you.
this keeps going until the end of the concert, your eyes leaving his sight only when he goes backstage. “so, what did you think? they’re so good, arent they?!” seokmin asks you all excited.
“yeah, they’re good… who is the drummer? do you his name?”
“the drummer? not sure, i think it starts with a j, jisung? juyeon?”
“jeonghan,” the person behind you says, you turn around and, to your surprise, its the drummer “its jeonghan. yoon jeonghan” he smiles while looking at you.
“bro, youre such a great drummer! i love your band and the concert was amazing!” seokmin says, but jeonghan only nods with a smile on his face before looking back at you “what about you? did you like the concert?”
your best friend gets the clue and start to walk away from you two, you look at jeonghan and nod “yeah.. it was good”
“good? only good? you seemed like you were enjoying the concert a little bit too much.. or should i say, enjoying the view a little too much?” he smirked.
“oh.. so you noticed, huh?” you chuckle, mentally wanting to hide yourself because of the feeling of embarrassment but trying to keep it together.
“how could i not notice? my first fan, which happens to be beautiful” he smiles proudly when he sees you blushing. “well, now you know my name, but i dont know yours”
“ah, its yn” you smile a bit shyly, trying your best to not look too shy around him.
“yn… your name is as beautiful as you. but i have to say, i want to know one more thing about you”
“what is it that you wanna know?”
“your number”
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starsxblazing · 8 months
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Im so happy your requests are open. Could i request azriel x reader where they're already in a relationship and reader overhears azriel mention hed like to add a 3rd person in the bedroom. Reader just shuts down and cant believe hed even think of such a thing. Shes so hurt and distant even his touch makes her wanna vomit. Maybe she breaks up with up with him while hes thinking of marrying her. And then he finds out why shes so distant and it was just a huuge huuuge misunderstanding (idk maybe she walked in at the wrong time and overheard cassian talkin about how hes gonna get azriel in a 3 way for azriels bachelor party once he asks reader to marry him.) And now hes gotta win the girl back and grovel on behalf of his stupid brother lol. angst with a happy ending.
I just want to say just how much I appreciate all of the requests with the amazing ideas that I get. I enjoy writing each one so very much!
Misunderstandings
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You padded silently through the river house in search of your boyfriend, being sure to use every lesson of stealth that Azriel had taught you to surprise him. It had been three days since you had seen him due to Rhysand sending you out to speak with other courts. You had been told that he was here with Cassian but the bottom floor was empty so you continued on. A smile formed on your face as it usually did when you thought of him and all of the amazing years that you had been together.
It was as perfect as you thought that a relationship could be and you were happier than you ever were in your entire existence. He was the only person that you could ever imagine spending the rest of your life with. There was no way that any other male could compare to him and how well that he treated you because not a day went by that he never failed in making you feel like a queen. 
After listening through every closed door, you still came up empty handed until you were outside of Cassian’s door. His laugh could be heard, clear delight and mischief in it. Even though it was unlike you, you lingered outside of the door to listen in on the conversation that was apparently amusing.
“A threesome,” Azriel stated.
“It will be the best time of your life,” Cassian laughed. “Y/N and another girl? Can’t tell me it doesn’t sound like a blessing from the Mother.”
“I think bringing another female into our bed is exactly-”
You darted from the home as your heart dropped at what you heard. The thought of sharing your boyfriend with anyone had your stomach turning as the betrayal hit you in full force. Returning to the home that you shared with Azriel only made you feel worse and you found yourself in front of the toilet, releasing everything that was in your stomach.
Once you could muster up just enough strength, you made your way to your bed on shaky legs. Mental images of the love of your life so much as touching another female had you feeling sick again and the tears came in full force. You couldn’t stand the thought that he was still there more than likely discussing which female he should pick to present to you.
It made you feel like you were nothing and your entire relationship had been a lie. Had he had these thoughts often? Did he lust after other females and you never noticed? Had you failed to please him in bed? Had everything been for nothing? The more that you thought, the more that you cried until you were finally taken by sleep.
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“Absolutely not.”
Azriel stared at Cassian, his arms crossed and jaw clenched. The last thing that he would ever want was someone else in his bed. The thought of touching another female much less anyone else touching you had his anger spiking along with his stomach twisting. 
“You really don’t want to accept my bachelor party gift?” Cassian asked, a hand on his heart as if he was offended.
“How would you feel if it was Nesta?”
“Sounds fun.”
He could only glare at his brother, unable to comprehend how the male could stand such a thing. Azriel’s jealous territorial streak shot through him that was followed by his own pain of seeing you broken hearted for simply suggesting such a thing. Even if it was something that he truly did want, he knew you wouldn’t want another female touching him and rightfully so.
“I haven’t even asked her to marry me yet,” Azriel scoffed. “She might not even say yes.”
“Are you kidding me!?” Cassian exclaimed, sitting up in his seat in disbelief. “She’s crazy about you just as much as you are with her! You’ve had that ring for weeks now. What’s up with that?”
“I don’t know,” he muttered but he knew full well that it was his own insecurities. “I need to get home. She should be home by now and it’s already getting late.”
“Yea, yea.” His brother waved a hand in dismissal as Azriel stood. “Even though I think you should stay and have more wine with me. It’s one of Rhys’s good bottles.”
“Of course it is.” Azriel rolled his eyes, making his way to the door before glancing at Cassian again. “You better not ever mention this conversation. To me or anyone else.”
With that, he left and rushed home. If there was nothing else that he loved, it was falling asleep beside you at night. The way that you always moved as close as you could get made it all the more special. He had finally gotten the one thing that he had always wanted most in life and he knew that he was blessed and he would never do anything to jeopardize it.
When he arrived home, there wasn’t a light on in the entire house which only made him frown. You usually waited for him to get home no matter how late it was and the fact that the sun had just gone down had him worried. The lightest scent of your tears hit him just as he made it to the bedroom floor, causing his stomach to drop.
He found you already in a deep sleep and his frown deepened on his face as his eyebrows furrowed when he noticed that your eyes were indeed swollen from crying. As he silently changed his clothes, his shadows became as restless as his thoughts, wondering what could have caused you such distress.  
He eased as gently as he could into the bed so that he didn’t wake you but when he went to pull you into him, you flinched and jerked upright. Even in the darkness, he could see your hateful glare before you moved as far away from him as you could get. He knew then that something was seriously wrong.
“What’s wrong, love?” he asked gently, a hint of panic starting to rise in him.
You didn’t respond so he tried touching your arm and you simply jerked it out of his grasp. His heart dropped into his stomach and panic continued to rise to the point that he wanted to drop to his knees and beg you if it was needed to get answers. Instead of doing so, he let you sleep in hopes that you had simply had pent up frustrations from your mission that you weren’t ready to talk about.
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You awoke early the next morning since you had gone to bed so early and was relieved that Azriel was already gone. His side of the bed was cold as it was most days of the week. Your relief soon faded when your thoughts nagged at you, making you wonder if he was out scouting the city or maybe another court for another female.
All of the trust that you had in him was completely shattered as you wondered if he had been cheating on all of the late nights that he alleged that he was on missions for Rhys. If he had a secret mistress, you thought that may be an option for him if the other female could keep it a secret. Unable to handle the disgust rolling through like a storm, you packed what you could into a bag and left the one place that had been your safe haven.
It wasn’t hard to find an empty apartment in the city and even though it was unfurnished, you didn’t care. It would be just as easy to have a mattress placed in a bedroom. Paired with enough food to get you by, it would be enough. Your only intention was to hide away from the people that you had seen as your family. It wasn’t just the betrayal of your boyfriend but also with Cassian who saw you as a brother. He was wholeheartedly encouraging Azriel to basically cheat on you. You had thought that Azriel felt the same way as you did and wouldn’t want anyone else touching you but it appeared as if you were wrong. 
After two weeks of being alone in your bare apartment, the depression had completely taken over. You missed him more than you ever thought that you would but your thoughts were always on repeat of mental images of him putting his hands on another female how he had always done you now that you were no longer his problem to deal with. 
It was late in the night and since you hardly slept anymore, you instantly noticed the piece of paper and pen that landed on the floor beside your poor excuse of a bed. You blew out a sigh of relief when you instantly noticed that it was Rhysand’s handwriting but that feeling quickly disappeared as you read the message.
“You are needed at the river house tomorrow afternoon to discuss an issue that we are having with the court.”
Having to leave the safety of your apartment would mean that you would risk seeing Azriel. What was more, going to a meeting with the Inner Circle meant that you would have to see your boyfriend. Or maybe your ex boyfriend now. It was something that you weren’t ready to face. Not ready to face the possibility that there may be a new female by his side.
Sleep never did find you that night, your anxiety too high to do anything but sob as your body shook uncontrollably while your heart pounded wildly in your chest.
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Azriel came home that night to find you gone, your scent barely noticeable. It was enough to tell him that you had been gone for a while. Hoping to find some form of answers, he took two steps at the time to the bedroom only to find it vacant. Your drawers to your armoire were open and empty, the sight paired with how you had acted the night before sending his heart racing in true and utter panic. 
He instantly took to the skies, hoping to find you anywhere. Unfortunately, it was later in the night so there weren’t many people that he could inquire to about your whereabouts. He came up empty handed so before the sun could fully rise in the sky, he was at the river house in hopes that you were there. He felt as if someone would have told you if you were but there was also the chance that Rhysand could find you. 
“Please tell me you have seen her,” he begged as soon as his sleepy eyed brother opened the door.
“Who?” Rhys asked, his voice still full of sleep as he rubbed his eyes.
“Y/N!” he snapped. “I haven’t seen her since last night!”
That was enough to get the High Lord’s attention and bring him fully to the present. There was a gentle caress on his mental shield so he dropped the barrier to let the male see his memories. Rhys flinched as he pulled away but there was sympathy that he didn’t want on his friend’s face.
“Don’t panic,” the High Lord ordered in a gentle tone. “We will find her.”
“How are we going to find her when we don’t know anything!?” Azriel snapped, worry, panic, and pain lacing into every word.
“It didn’t appear as if there was a struggle and there were no unusual scents to indicate that she may have been abducted,” Rhysand mused. “Even if it was the case, she is trained well enough to handle whoever could have managed to come in.”
“But-”
“Has there been any disagreements as of late?”
“No-”
“Has she been expressing any discomfort with either of you being gone too long on missions?”
“No!” he exclaimed, frustrated because he had already come up empty handed on those thoughts as well. “Everything has been as perfect and happy as it could be!”
“We will find her,” his brother repeated gently.
Azriel’s chest began to heave at all of the horribly possible scenarios that could have happened to you. The thought of you being taken and injured hurt but what hurt him the most was the nagging suspicion that you had left him. Not only had you left him but done so when he wasn’t present and hadn’t communicated anything which was unlike you. Communication was a strong principle of a relationship for you so he must have done something irreparably wrong for you to leave him without a trace.
Unable to sit idly by and wait for Rhysand to search for you, he returned to the city. Despite the fact that he had searched all day and asked everyone he came across, it was as futile as the night before on any information about you. The pain felt as if it was eating him from the inside out while suffocating him in the process.
There were so many things that made him feel unworthy of anything but you had come along and changed that. There had been so many things that had hurt him in his life. If he lost you, it would be the one pain that he wouldn’t be capable of enduring. 
A week passed and each day was a repeat of the one before. He was sure that the citizens of Velaris were sick of him asking about you, especially when he was doing his best to be discreet. At the end of each day, he found himself curled up in the bed that he used to share with you to release the tears that he did his best to keep locked away until he was alone. His appetite had completely disappeared and he was unable to even force himself to eat. 
By the end of the second week, Rhysand had formed a plan. He watched as the High Lord wrote a note to you requesting your presence. The letter disappeared and he was reassured that if nothing else, you would come when the court needed you. His shadows had been restless the entirety of the two weeks of you being gone and tonight was no different. He was just as restless as they were with anticipated hope.
The entire day was spent pacing in different rooms to pass the time while thinking of any and every speech for whatever he had unknowingly done wrong. Feyre had done her best to calm and reassure him but nothing would soothe him until he saw you. It was what he had thought until you strode through the door of the river house.
Your scent hit him so hard that it made him stumble when he went to take a step towards you. He froze on his second step when you didn’t look at him but instead opted to watch your High Lord with anger in your eyes. It was at that time that he took a moment to do a full assessment of you only to find that you appeared to be in the same emotional state that he was in. You had lost weight and the dark circles were a harsh contrast to your unusually pale skin.
“I’m here,” you snapped, causing Rhysand to frown. “I’ve got things to be doing.”
“Care to fill us in on what ‘things’ you are busy with?” the High Lord countered.
“It’s not your business what I do with my personal time.”
“The personal time that a member of my court has used to stay hidden for two weeks.”
“I may be a part of your court, Rhysand but I do not have to report all of my movements.”
“No,” Rhys agreed. “But as a member of my Inner Circle, I would like the courtesy of knowing that you are safe when you decide to disappear without a trace. Maybe I should make you a spy as well since you do such a good job of it.”
“I don’t have time for this.” You bared your teeth at the High Lord who only smiled in return, the action causing you to huff. “Call me if there is actual business.”
“Y/N,” Azriel started when you glared at him once you began to make your way to the door. 
“Don’t fucking touch me,” you growled.
The four words had him recoiling his hand from where he tried to stop you. There was a hatefulness in your eyes that had never been laid upon him before and he could feel the burning beginning in his eyes. He loved you more than words could ever explain but yet here you were, staring at him with so much disgust. It made him feel lower than he had ever felt in his life. Lower than how he had felt as a child locked in a lightless cell.
“Please, please tell me what’s wrong,” he begged, blocking out everyone else in the room around them. “Please.”
“I really can’t believe you Azriel.” Tears filled your eyes and the pain in them had his knees buckling. “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”
“Y/N, please-”
He tried once again to grasp your arm to stop you but your face paled as if the simple thought of him touching you made you sick. Every insecurity that he ever had began to resurface, every insecurity that had been healed simply because of your support. His worst fear had been confirmed but he refused to give up until he knew what had gone so horribly wrong. 
“Please tell me what I did,” he begged again once the both of you were outside. “How can I make it right?”
“You can make it right by going back to whatever bitch you wanted.” You swirled on him so quickly that he hardly had time to register that you did so, leaving nothing a handful of inches between the two of you. “I wasn’t enough so go find better!”
“Y/N, what are you talking about?” he asked in astonishment. “You are all that I’ve ever wanted. You are everything that I have been searching for my entire life.”
“I’m all you want but yet you have no problem with wanting a threesome?” His heart dropped as he realized what had happened. “Did you really think I would go along with that? Or were you planning it with someone else?”
“I wasn’t-”
Azriel took a deep breath and dropped down onto one knee while pulling the small box out of his pocket. He had kept it with him every single day and he was thankful that he did even if he was silently cursing his brother for ruining the proposal. Before opening it, he wrapped his arms around your middle and pulled you into him before burying his face into your stomach.
“Cassian,” he mumbled with a defeated sigh. “Is a fucking idiot.”
“Oh, I know all about him encouraging such an idiotic thing!” you exclaimed while halfheartedly trying to wiggle free from him. 
“He was trying to talk me into accepting a gift from him for..”
“For what?”
He took a deep breath, savoring the contact, before he pulled away and looked up to you. A small gasp escaped your lips when he opened the box that held the blue sapphire engagement ring. 
“For a bachelor party if you said yes when I proposed.”
Hope was the only thing that he could cling to when tears formed in your eyes as they darted between him and the ring. He took note that your body began to shake just as the smallest smile formed on your face.
“You- You were..”
“This isn’t exactly the way that I had planned it out,” he chuckled, feeling relieved to see some light back in your eyes. “My life has been nothing but darkness until you came into it and lit it up as if you were the brightest sun that could ever exist. A sun that made all of the dark disappear and made me feel truly seen for the first time in my life. I have never known true love and happiness until I was able to call you mine and it would be the greatest honor that I could ever receive to be able to call you my wife.”
Tears were falling freely down your face but your eyes never left his. The love and adoration had returned and it took everything in him to stay on one knee until he received a reply of some sort.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!” you exclaimed.
He was barely able to stand in time to catch you before you launched yourself onto him, throwing your arms around his neck and squeezing tightly. It bordered on pain but he didn’t dare complain now that you were back in his arms.
“Thank the Mother.”
You giggled at his words and then gave him the brightest smile when he slid the ring on your finger. He crashed his lips to yours, appreciating every single thing about you in a way that he hadn’t before. When he pulled away, there was a mischievous grin adorning your face.
“I think me and Cassian need to have a nice long chat.”
He laughed, a genuine true laugh, before following you inside and enjoying the scolding that his brother earned.  
@amara-moonlight @allygrace74 @sidthedollface2 @historygeekqueen @hnyclover @kalulakunundrum @historygeekqueen @bubybubsters @thisblogisaboutabook @mybestfriendmademe @caroline-books @justvibbinghere @wisdomofthebrain
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eustasskidagenda · 11 months
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omg hi hi! i adore your writing so much :3! if its alright with you, could i get headcanons for how crocodile, law, kid, and ace would be with an autistic s/o who loves to infodump, but is nervous to do so. theres always this odd bit of shame that accompanies infodumping for me because i get so excited i cant properly articulate myself *lays down* its just a mess of stimming, stuttering, and laughing at my own jokes. i feel embarrassed after, even if its totally an illogical response. im unsure if you write for autistic y/n so feel free to ignore this if you dont. thank you so much <33
☆Crocodile, Law, Kid & Ace with an autistic s/o who loves to info dump 
Hello, dear anon! I'm not used to write autistic y/n, because I don't know enough about this and I wouldn't like to be harmful. However, the situation you're describing is something close to ADHD, which I know well. So I've made some additional researches to be sure and come up with something, I hope you will like it. Thank you for your request, it was a sweet one ♡
CW : g/n reader, slight curses for Kid, fluff 
WC : Around 1,500 words
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Crocodile 
Crocodile doesn't talk much, he's always serious and quiet. It's just that he's often thinking about his business and plans. But he's a good observer and would immediately notice if you want to say something but are too nervous to do it. He knows you perfectly, so he would recognize the way you're fidgeting.
He's a man with good manners, so his first reflex would be to lock the door and make sure no one can enter and destabilize you. When it's done, he will point his chair towards you.
"Sit. I'm listening, y/n." 
Actually, he likes hearing you speak during hours. He knows it's a way to express your love and feelings. He's flattered that you want to share your world with him. Go ahead and speak, he will listen. Even if he's just nodding or commenting short sentences in response, he has a good memory and will remember everything you said to him. 
If you're talking too fast and start to get really flustered, he will let you know that you're speaking too fast, like 'y/n, what did you just say?' 
Your hyper-focus and info-dumping are appreciated by Crocodile because he enjoys learning new things and you're a source of knowledge. Maybe he's impassive and struggles to express his feelings, but sometimes you will hear him talk about what he learned with you, so clearly he listened to every single word. 
"Don't be ashamed, it was interesting. Can we talk more about this specific point?" 
If you say something that he is really curious about, he has no shame asking for more. It's a way for him to express his genuine care for you. For him, it's a way to prove to you that even though he's always quiet, he cares.
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Law
Law is similar to Crocodile in his lack of emotional expression and limited speech. He is always busy, struggling with his parasitic thoughts and taking care of his patients. Finding some private time with you is a challenge for him. 
If you run into Law with excitement about your passion or new hyper-focus, he may feel embarrassed because it's not the perfect time for him. Autism is something he knows about, and he is an intelligent and educated man. And, he wants to make you feel safe and comfortable. 
"I'll be yours in a moment, y/n-ya."
He has a complete understanding of you and is an excellent observer. The way you're already blushing, fidgeting, and swallowing nervously. He can even hear your heart racing. So first thing first, he will tell you to take a deep breath. After all, he’s a doctor. 
"What do you wanna talk about?" 
As Crocodile, he's a great listener. When you're full of passion and excitement, he thinks you're cute. He likes the sound of your voice. He loves when you want to find him and talk about your passion, because you're offering him a break from his work. If you weren't there, he would be stuck either in work or in his own head. When he's with you, he can forget about his dream of avenging. You're his safe place, truly. 
He doesn't speak a lot. But he is listening.M and asks questions from time to time.
"Yn-ya, there's been no urge. Take your time." And if you're stuttering a lot, he would just say nothing because it's pointless to make a remark, as long as he can understand what you're saying, he will never say something about your elocution. 
"That's interesting, where did you learn that much?" 
Law is a curious and intelligent man, so he likes to learn more about almost everything. If it can help him with his plans or maybe his patients, it might even be beneficial for him.
During your bedtime together, he would ask you to talk about your passions. The way you talk and laugh is like his own lullaby. When you speak, he can find inner peace because it shuts down all the voices in his head. He might fall asleep sometimes when he feels tired. It's just that you're providing him with some relief. When he wakes up, he would be deeply sorry. "So, yesterday, you stopped at this precise point… what were you trying to say after?"
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Kid 
Kid is so goddamn loud. And really passionate. He's focused on his goal of becoming the next PK and has loved mechanics and robotics since childhood. He would be aggressively sweet, like frowning when he notices how stressed and nervous you act towards him. "Hey, Y/N, why are you so fucking nervous? Just speak" 
He thinks you're cute with your cheeks all red. On the flip side, he's a bit confused. Why are you nervous? Is it his fault? He knows he's loud, hard to love and rough, but he cares about people he likes. Have you seen how he acts with Killer and his crew? He loves his people. 
And, as a punk, Kid is marginalized. He knows a lot about being different, and if you feel ashamed about it, he can understand. "Come on y/n, let's find a private place" 
Grab your wrist in an aggressive yet sweet way and lead you to his workshop or bedroom. He sits you on the bed with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised. "Now we're alone." 
So, you start talking nervously. It doesn't matter if the topic is interesting to him or not, he will listen. Because as I said, Kid is a passionate. Everything can be made interesting by passionate people. So, yeah, talk about birds, cakes, plushies, or anything stuck in your head. He will like it. And he enjoys the sound of your voice. He’s even flattered to be your special someone, the one you’re looking for when you need to talk. It fuels his ego and pride.
He will deal with your stuttering as he deals with Killer's laugh. He'll shut up and smash all the people making fun of you if there's something you hate about yourself. You're his s/o, no one can laugh at you and continue to live without facing his rage.
"Goddamn, slow down" yes, not the best with kindness, but at least he's paying attention. 
He wouldn't help but think you're really cute, with your eyes shining as you finally manage to relax and express how passionate you are. He understands your excitement because when he talks about robots, music, punk or weapons, he's exactly the same. 
Kid is not the most culturally advanced, it depends on the topic. He enjoys learning new things thanks to you or Killer, it's important for him to be credible, and he hates looking inferior in front of others. 
"See, there was no reason to be that nervous" When you finished speaking.
Just poke your cheek, grin and leave a mark of lipstick on your front-head before returning to his activities and yelling proudly to everyone he knows everything about the subject you just info-dump about.
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Ace
The sweetest. Ace's personality is both compassionate and protective. He grew up with Luffy, so passionate and talkative people are something he knows a lot about. As he's proud of his brother, he's proud of you and can listen to everything you say for hours. 
"Y/N, is there something wrong?" 
Yeah, he would immediately notice that you're starting to get nervous. His first reflex is to find a more private place, if that's not already the case. He wants to do everything to make you feel safe and loved. If it's winter or just cold, he would even use his DF to warm the room. As soon as you're all comfortable, he'll run his fingers through your hair. "You know I will always listen." 
Ace doesn't speak a lot about what's on his mind. He's way too stubborn and always struggles with guilt due to the blood running through his veins. So he enjoys having someone like you. Your voice is soothing him, and he loves how passionate and honest you are always. 
For him, it's even amazing and unreal to have someone talk to him. You're treating him like a normal human and not a failure, because he feels like it often: unloved, unwanted and unworthy.
"Sweetie, you don't have to rush, we have the time, I'll always listen" if you start to speak too fast.
Would entwine his fingers with yours when you're stuttering and laugh heartily at your jokes. You remind him of his dear little brother. He feels lucky to have you by his side. 
"I could listen for hours." And he's totally honest.
If someone makes fun of you, he's truly mad. You are as significant to him as his brother or Whitebeard. And if someone makes fun of his loved-one, Ace is merciless and really impulsive.
"Please, say more about this specific point!", "Oh, really, that's so funny?" He wants to make you talk even more. Until you're finally relaxed and able to speak without stuttering, blushing, or anything else. He doesn't mind it, even if it lasts for hours. Once you're done, he has his usual sweet smile on his face. "That was so interesting, why are you so embarrassed?" 
So you explain to him that you feel embarrassed about your info dump because you're afraid to annoy people or talk too fast etc." It's alright, you won't bother me." 
You're his sunshine. He feels loved with you. He feels more than just the son of someone; he's just Ace, and that's the most beautiful thing in the world for him.
Such a sweet boy. ♡
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luvanniiee · 1 year
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tonight
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[ateez drabbles]
• pairings : ateez x gn!reader (individual though) hongjoong x reader , seonghwa x reader , yunho x reader , yeosang x reader , san x reader , mingi x reader , wooyoung x reader , jongho x reader
• synopsis: they work hard as idols to provide for you. they sacrificed a lot of things ……. even spending time with you. so this is what they do when they come home from touring!
• warnings : slight angst , smut mdni! , sex is mentioned but i dont go too much into detail. pet names, suggestive as fck,
• a/n : i hope you guys enjoy this , i might do a txt version or twice ! let me know! anyways thanks for all the support bookies !! okay ima not talk too much, just enjoy! oh wait also you might wanna listen to “tonight” by summer walker, that was the inspo for this!! okay byee
• story under the cut!
hongjoong
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he had just come home from a 2 month tour. literally felt like hell for both of you. hongjoong felt like he couldn’t properly focus on his work , he missed you in more ways than you wouldve ever thought. but now he was home , in your arms. you cooked his favorite meal , and showered together , and put his favorite movie on, but he wasn’t interested in that. he was eyeing you like a piece of meat. take a picture , itll last longer. you said to him as you turned to him. im not interested in the movie anymore baby, i want you. i need you. please i just wanna make up for lost time. he said, need was dripping like honey in his voice. you felt your cheeks heat up. this was a first, usually you would be the one who was desperate for a touch. but he seemed like he would explode in the next 2 seconds if he didnt feel some sort of you. ive been on the road too long , tonight i wanna have good fun! he said as he pushed you down on the couch.
after playing catch up , you were left with drool coming from the sides of your mouth , legs shaking , and hongjoong still wanting more
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seonghwa
you pace to get ready , seonghwa is coming home today. normally you would be happy, well you are happy that hes coming home, and he’ll be able to touch you the way youve been trying to touch yourself. but thats what your scared about. see prior to this , you broke one of his rules. absolutely no touching unless 1. youve asked and 2. hes given you permission. you were on the phone with him, and hes busy talking about how excited he was to see you, until you let out a small moan on the phone. what was that? he asked. oh..uh..nothing! you said. i hope my baby isnt touching themselves without daddy’s permission. he teased, he knew you were touching yourself to his voice. so he told you that he was going to punish you for breaking a rule. and thats how you are in this situation now. just then the door opens, revealing an angry and horny seonghwa. he only stepped forward to close the door behind him. his eyes burning holes through yours. oh…hey baby… you said trying to ease some tension. is that my name? do you need me to remind you honey? does daddy need to teach you a lesson and punish you? he said in a teasing low tone.
after that, you were covered in love marks, tears , sweat , legs are shaking hard from the times hes made you cum over and over. but after it all, he still kissed you and gave you the best aftercare ever, and even told you about the things hes seen while on tour until you fell asleep in his arms.
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yunho
normally, yunho doesnt make the first move. but being away from you for 2 months really drove him crazy. you and yunho were supposed to be playing a board game. but as you were moving your peice, you kinda realized that the game was no longer yunhos interest. his eyes were on yours, eye fucking you. he wanted to fuck you as soon as he stepped in the house. but he dared himself to see how long he can go before actually losing his mind. you okay? you asked. he nodded lightly then stood up to walk over next to you. he started to kiss your neck leaving marks on you. fuck i cant hold back anymore. yunho moaned out as he laid you down. he leaned over you and started kissing you. soon it turned into a lazy makeout. then you started to thrust your hips forward for an ease in the ache between your legs. fuck baby please. please let me make up for lost time. he said as he looked in your eyes. it only took a nod for him to go absolutely insane.
afterwards, he cleaned you up. did you still wanna play the game? you asked. not really , but i do wanna play with you again. he smirked. one hell of a night for both of you.
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yeosang
although he has a reserved and calm demeanor, on the inside yeosang knew he has too pent up to be calm. there was a welcome home dinner for him. his parents and yours all at one table, welcoming yeosang home from his tour. it literally took everything in him to not kick everyone out and have his way. the way you looked as you took a sip of your drink, the way you would lick your lips clean, it drove him up the wall. excuse me. he said as he excused himself out of the room. he went to the bathroom to wipe his face. he had to do something to distract himself. just then you opened the door and the. locked it behind you. you want it as much as i do dont you? he said. you just stepped forward and kissed him. it didnt take long until he was stripping himself and stripping you too. you both started to feel on each other. then he bent you over the sink, and forced you to look in the mirror.
after that you walked out, both parents gone. but there was a note. ‘if yall are gonna fuck, at least have the decency to give us the boot.’ both of you visibly embarrassed but laughed it off later.
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san
you and san were just chillin on the couch. tv was background noise at this point. both of you wanted to so desperately feel each other after a long time. but the thing is, you both want to see who will cave first. san was the dominant one in this relationship so obviously hes gonna try to out wait you and make you cave first. you just wanted to push his buttons. you looked at his side profile, admiring the way his jaw would tense here and there. he took a deep breath and looked at you. you know you want me baby. he teased. you knew if you touched him first, you would not only lose a bet but you would be in for a shitload of teasing. oh san, youve been gone for 2 months, all pent up. only having to use your hand to relieve yourself. i had a vibrator. so i think you need me more. you cocked back. your reply shocked him but it also made him mad. so all he did was pull his pants down, licked his hand and started pumping himself. you cant lie, you really wanted to taste him. but youll be teased.
fuck it. you decide and replace his hand with your mouth.
you should play this game more often, you thought.
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mingi
mingi has just come home that day. you and him spent the entire day hugging and kissing each other. you couldnt get enough of him, you missed his scent. so when night time came, it was about dinner time. you cooked his favorite food and you even volunteered to clean the dishes. but he insisted that he helped you. so you didnt turn him down and as you washed he rinsed. you started to lean over the sink to relieve some of the pressure in your lower back. so water was splashing on you as you washed. he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. the way your hands were moving in the water, the look of concentration, it was a bit much for him. it took a lot for him to restrain himself from doing you right then. so he waited until later that night.
baby… mingi would whine. yes? you replied. please, i need you to touch me. i miss your body so much. please i cant hold back anymore. he confessed. who were you to deny him? so you started by kissing him slowly, then marking him, touching him softly. he couldnt take this slow pace much longer. baby… i cant wait. he moaned slightly. so he flipped you on your back, he starter to grind his hips into you to relieve some pressure. you both moaned at the contact. want this? please tell me you want me as much as i need you. he whined. it turned you on because of how submissive he sounded. you nodded and thats all it took for him.
after that, he started to talk about how good the tour was, how much fun he had with his bandmates, all while youre laying there with your legs shaking like crazy, and your eyes could barely stay open.
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wooyoung
this man just couldnt wait to hear you. wooyoung had some friends over, but he was starting to regret it. the more he sat next to you, inhaled your scent, it made him crazy. there was a movie on, and all his friends were watching it. you tried to watch, but all his teasing touches were really distracting you. sometimes his hands would slide a little too close to your pussy. you let out a loud sigh that sounded almost like a soft moan. his friends would glance occasionally, but wooyoung would tell them that it was because you were “yawning because your tired”. but soon after all the teasing, he finally touched you. he started to rub you, drawing small quick circles over your clit. you had to excuse the moans that would slip a little as a yawn or something. but when he started going faster, you couldnt contain it anymore. so you put your head in his neck, and bite down softly to quiet yourself. wooyoung could hear your small moans and whimpers as you came on his fingers.
in the dark it looked like you were resting your head in him. if only they knew about the dirty things that were happening under the cover you had across your lap.
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jongho
it all starterd with a facetime call. you were wearing one of his shirts. he was on his way home from the airport when you started teasing him. flashing him and giggling afterwards, or moaning his name, just teasing him to the point of no return. but when he got home, it wasnt funny anymore. all the teasing you did to him made him sexually frustrated. the smile on your face disappeared when he opened the door and said strip. you wanted to retaliate but there was no way you were gonna do that. no way you were gonna fuel his fire by bratting even more. so you did as told. bad girl, teasing me like that. jongho said. his voice was dripping with lust, making it deeper. it turned you on. im sorry, i just uh wanted to play a little. you said as your voice cracked a little. oh you wanna play? ill play with you. he said teasingly.
to make a long story short, one of the best nights you’ve had.
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teehee
©️ luvanniiee on tumblr !!
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msperfect777 · 1 year
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big sister talks : chapter 2
1. if you care about what other ppl think of you, ur wasting ur life
spending time worrying about what other ppl think when they look at you is sooo useless. you are creating imaginary and false ideas of urself thro others. you walk past a group of ppl and you immediately become voice insecurities to yourself. who even are those ppl? they are nothing compared to you. thinking that their “prettier” or “richer” or “smarter” is stupid asf bc all those are just society aspects that are false. there is no such thing as being prettier than blah blah blah. you are you just like she is she and he is he and they are they. we are all our own ppl so why waste time thinking ur less than in other ppl’s eyes? spend that time telling urself how valuable you are. realize that insecurities arent real. theres literally nothing wrong with you. you are perfect period. society may tell you that you arent but who tf are they? you wanna stick to a victim mindset or you wanna be accurate in knowing you are already perfect?
you cant spend all your life worrying about what others think of you. stop being goofy and know that the only opinion that matters is you. focus on the thing that rly matters: you. love urself bc ur the one that will never leave ur side.
recovery tips: dance in front of the mirror naked while listening to your favorite song. notice how perfect your body is. the thought that ur ugly is the same as the thought of your pretty. theres no difference right? so now you know how much of a waste of time it is to think you arent perfect.
think about how the ppl you think are thinking bad about you are a bunch of nobodies. do you think they care about those insecurities you think you have? no. so why would you care and stress about their useless opinions. notice how those thoughts are coming from you. those thoughts say that they are staring at you and that they think you look weird. thoughts arent real🤡. all this is an illusion. so enjoy the ride and dont get caught up in useless little things like thoughts and other random ppl. enjoy yourself bc you can.
2. dont waste your time on male validation
as a female in this society, we are expected to look up to men and please them…first of all.. look at what a beauty you are. you rly think a beautiful being like you would have to worry about pleasing others, especially men?? nahhh. never. remember that that little part of you that feels the need to impress men is just a result of this society. forget about it. the only one you need to impress is you.
recovery tips: know that you are a powerful limitless being. never accept impressing others. your so high up that ppl have to impress you. its never the opposite. listen to bad bitch edit audios. watch iconic 2000s movies. realize that you are the main character. why would a queen and a main character focus on impressing ppl that are already below her??… exactly.
3. be spontaneous and free
go out for a damn walk in the park or wherever. dont even worry about where your going. just walk. just enjoy the moment. get tf off the phone and take some fucking sun. for all my beautiful black angels, we all know that our afros grow towards the sun. you notice how when ppl start to get locs, they get thicker like a tree branch? while afros grow like a tree itself. we are nature. go out to the sun and let it bless your beautiful melanated skin and incredible afro hair. for everyone now: go have fun in the sun. humans are not meant to stay at home all day on they phone like stop being stupid and take a walk wherever.
dont worry and dont plan. just do and it will be exciting believe me.
4. love your beautiful black hair.
when i was little, i didnt know how to take care of my pretty type 4 hair bc my mom didnt have the same hair type as me. i would always look at the girls with straight hair or loose curls and wonder why i dont have that hair type. now im in love with my hair bc i learned to take care of it. the tight curls, the way i can put it in twists or cornrows or leave it in an afro. my hair is so versatile! theres no way i cant love it. idc if ppl call ur hair “difficult” or “too hard” or “ugly”… thats bc they will never know what its like having perfect hair like this. they could neva compare and thats a fact. it took me years to love my hair and i wish all little black babies grow up to know how perfect they hair is.
black barbie hair tips:
get a moisturizing shampoo and deep conditioner. i recommend companies like shea moisture, mielle organics, camille rose naturals, kinky-curly, and there are more just research and try which ever works for your hair
soak your hair in warm water and massage your scalp. use your shampoo and scrub with your finger tips not your finger nails (or else you can get cuts). shampoo 2-3 times.
put ur deep conditioner and when you detangle ur hair, use your fingers and detangle in small sections. do not use a small comb. use a wide tooth comb if you want. then, you can put ur hair in twists and put a cap on or steam it in the shower so that the deep conditioner moisturizes your hair.
rinse and use a moisturizing cream / leave in conditioner and put it on ur hair in sections and comb thro. do big or mini twists to lock in product.
when you have on an afro, do not pick your curls and pull it. this can cause breakage and split ends. when you have twists on, water your beautiful hair with water and some product in a spray bottle everyday / few times a week. think of your hair like a plant, you have to water and care for it.
when you take out your twist of any other protective styles, take your time to reduce breakage. and its better to detangle hair when it has conditioner in it. try using pre-shampoo when detangling dry hair.
spend time understanding your hair. thats how special it is. love it bc its raw black beauty.
everyones hair is different so what i do for my hair and the products i use will not always work you. research your hair porosity and hair types. a hair care journey starts off messy at times but the more it lasts, the easier it gets. you can start off hating your hair but you will soon realize how much of a perfect prize it is 💋
© msperfect777
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yeondollie · 7 months
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ʙᴀᴍ ʏᴀɴɢ ɢᴀɴɢ ౨ৎ ♡ .ᐟ
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'i closed the chapter on the days we spent together.'
. . warnings ; ANGST .ᐟ, breaking up, argument, fem reader, taehyun is kinda mean, crying, heartbreak, reader is needy, taehyun gets annoyed of reader, just over all sad ecfhuehfusih !!
a/n ; i have been listening in bam yang gang on repeat its so so so good but so sad :(. the beat is so adorable and so is bibi i love her sm sm but the song is so sad and as soon as i heard it i thought about making a story with it . this is just a drabble so i dont have a word count sorry :< anyways, enjoy !! ₊˚⊹ ᰔ
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"why do you want so much out of me? can i have some peace and quiet to myself? god.." here we were again. arguing with taehyun was getting more and more common, though you hated it. taehyun knew you were a sensitive person and didn't like conflict but you were just pissing him off lately.
you didn't know what to say really. though you were only trying to check up on him after work, he wasn't having it. "it's like you're attached to my hip, truly." you suck in the tears in your eyes as he says this. you didn't wanna fight, you just wanted to please him in any way you could.
"yes i-i.. i'll give you time. i’m sorry." you say, tearing still welling in your eyes. this, for some reason, set taehyun off completely. why couldn’t you stand up for yourself? it was pathetic in his eyes. “see! thats why im upset. you’re like a doormat- you get walked all over, it’s pathetic.” he scoffs, letting out a small laugh even.
holding the tears back, about to flow, you mutter out some words. “you’re r-right, i’m s-sorry.” you sniffle a bit, looking up at the ceiling to avoid the tears falling out of your eyes. you’ve never felt more pathetic in your life, it was such a horrible feeling. taehyun didn’t seem phased at all, walking up and getting in your face.
“so thats it? sorry? you think thats gonna fix everything?” he says, his face only inches from yours. it was weird, usually when he was this close he would be kissing you or looking at you longingly but no. not this time, not anymore. the only time he looked at you was with lust or anger behind his eyes.
it felt like the two of you would only have sex or only argue, it was tiring- so tiring. he used to hold your cold hand in his own warm hand. he used to kiss your forehead and play with your hair, what happened? the tears flickered down your cheek as you answered him. “t-tyun i.. i don’t know what else to d-do.” now quickly wiping your own tears.
when he realizes you’re crying, he doesn’t bat an eye. its like all his love for you was drained from his heart- you hated it so much. “you know what _____? we’re done. i cant fucking do this with you anymore. you’re just so.. so needy and dumb!” he raises his voice, now watching you flinch in front of him.
you didn’t even have the energy to stop him, watching him with blurry eyes. watching how much he changed over the span of you two dating was shocking and saddening to you. oh how you longed for the sweet taehyun you once had.
before he could exit your house, forever saying bye to him you did one last thing. “taehyun..?” you whisper, not even having the energy to talk loudly. “what?” he whips back at you. you grab his school name tag he gave you, when he first confessed his feelings for you when the two of you were still in high school.
grabbing his name tag, along with your own- you walked up to him gently. you placed your name tag in his hand, looking into his angry eyes. “so you can remember me, you promised me you’d never forget me right?”
his eyes flickered with sympathy one final last time.
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ive been turning these 2 around in my mind so so much lately... id like to share why i like them, so ill do so under cut :)
what draws them together? both of their traumas are part of them. neither of them are going to 'get better' in the expected way. they can learn to cope with their struggles, possibly get medications to help with that, but that's it. theyre similar in many things ('their trauma isnt leaving', both are suicidal "feeling suicidal/i wish i wasnt alive" "i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL"), neither like who they are as people "all the pretty girls make me not wanna be me" "do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know?") and both of their songs are about their relationships with other people, even if its not the main theme
weevildoing said this about disposable girl. with chemical girl, its more obvious
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this gives them both a deeper understanding of each other !! even though their traumas are still different, theyve got this similarity. they could talk about that, relate to each other, etc...
another thing that draws them together: their interests, id say! she was a skater girl she was a fitness girl, can i make it any more obvious... most of their hobbies arent the exact same, but they are at least in a similar vein id say - anime and gundam, skating and fitness, rap and megan thee stallion. they could easily enjoy each other's interest, i think!:)
what stands in the way? misunderstanding and miscommunication. i think that (when theyre first getting to know each other, at least) disposable wouldnt stand up for herself/tell chemical when shes uncomfortable/when chemical says something that upsets her ("being mistreated would at least mean im real" "that at least means youre someone that they wanna be around"). she'd feel like voicing these things would cost her her and chemical's relationship. i also feel like she wouldnt see this as something worth communicating, possibly
thatd be a problem in all relationships ofc, but itd upset chemical girl especially. she has a hard time forming relationships ("i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know?"). she pushes others away so that she cant hurt them ("theres no point in getting close, leave me alone"). i think that if she and disposable got close, and she found out that it isnt communicating its feelings, shed be upset !! yknow ?? thinking that youve finally found a friend that likes you as you are, when in reality ur just hurting them with everything that you say... getting close to someone for the first time in forever, opening up, just to find that out would probs frustrate her
have an example of smth that i think that would happen when theyre first getting to know each other
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i think they'd communicate this eventually tho:) yay yippee! im communication and im understanding🏳️‍🌈the girlfriends
what are their good traits? they want to be there for each other, to help each other grow, to understand one another!! like in "what draws them together?", they understand each other more than the average person. they could help each other accept this - like, its easier to accept people for things that you beat yourself up about, yknow? were more strict with ourselves than other people, its easier to deem someone else as deserving of love than yourself, etc etc... since theyre similar in many things, they could learn to love themselves while they start to love each other !! i hope that makes sense..
them sharing hobbies would be SOOO so cute!!! chemical teaching disposable fitness so that she has an outlet for her frustration, disposable teaching chemical how to skate... chemical showing it gundam, her figurine collection, disposable showing her anime, them listening to rap together.... it would be so cute !!!!! i think disposable would enjoy fitness, but would be embarassed by being bad at it/being slow/sweating a lot/etc. chemical would be cheering her on, proud of her for the smallest improvements... likewise, i think chemical would suck at skating. steps on the skateboard and it explodes. u know how it is
what makes them hopeless at romance? ARGHHH "what to do, when everybody that ive loved has only up and left me?" "im alwasy left out of everything" "nobody fuckinf wants me" vs "theres no point in getting close, leave me alone" "i dont think you should come by my place tonight" "nobody can keep up with me"... need i say more...
i think they should latch onto each other like leeches and never let go
thank you if youve read this far:) theyre so everything to me !!!! theyre sooo... god... shaking them!!!! arghrrrr!!! chemwaste!!! save me chemwaste!!!
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(both of these poses are from mellon_soup)
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miowritings · 6 months
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can i request an akito fic where reader is a new member and quite shy so she dosent interact much? so akito would think they’re useless ? but they actually have a really soft voice and cute personality >.<
꧁“𝐍𝐞𝐰𝐛𝐢𝐞”꧂
Akito shinonome x shy!gn! Reader
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✮A/N: HIHI so sorry i took long to finish your request😭 im very inactive on all my platforms cause im focusing on my life rn and exams are coming up, nevertheless hope you enjoy<33
✮Synopsis: you, a shy new member, impress akito with the song you made!
✮Contains: slight ooc?, Not proofread,akito here is slightly judgmental?
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Akito wasnt... That fond of you,not that he hated you or anything, he wasnt.. used to you, you could tell, when he made music, he'd give you the most simplest lines, or the shortest.. not that youre complaining, you just wanted more!
nevertheless, the group would still care and try to make you feel at home, they would call you by your first name or a nickname, tell some jokes, tease you, and anything as long as you feel happy around them
all changed until you decided to make music, all on your own, ofcourse with the help of friends but it was mostly you! And after weeks of making, you wanted to let the group have a listen!
the group was astonished when they heard the beat.. it was strong and intense, they were surprised when you were the one making the beats and tunes, you were so shy that its unlikely of someone to make music as intense as this
"y-you made this..? Oh wow! I wouldnt have expected that you could make songs like this.." Kohane smiled, An happily listened, while Toya and akito listened close
"This could work for this new gig... I remember Kotaro saying that the people who were attending had hardcore-ish vibes.. not that i know what he meant" Toya spoke up, an and kohane nodded in agreement. "This sounds.. pleasant.. right, lets use this.." he says, now looking at you.
weeks passed and you were finally able to make the lyrics with the help of Kohane, now was to split the lyrics
"hm.. y/n, can you try singing this part? Im confused if you or Kohane should sing this.." an asked, looking awkward.. "oh, nono, y/n can take this part.. they made the music, ofcourse they should have more lines" she says playfully, making you giggle
"hm.. okay" An nodded, now looking at you, she gave you a small nod, indicating that you could start singing... Honestly, the way an and akito practices feels like having to audition to be in an idol band..
you cleared your throat and started singing, that when Akito finally took you seriously, he puts his things down and listened.. you voice was.. adorable.. soothing..nice? He couldnt tell, after all, your voice is amazing and that he had a hard time describing it, once you were finished, all of them gave you a big round of applause, including akito, which made you feel.. fuzzy after all, it wasnt always that he'd cheer for you.
Once the sun was setting, the environment got darker, kohane left first, then toya, then an, it was just you and akito both..
Before you could keave, akito stopped you, grabbing you lightly by the shoulder. "Hey.. uh.. just wanted to say that.. your voice sounds nice.. please, keep up the good work y/n" he gave you a genuine smile, you nodded to reply "o-ofcourse.! I'll keep practicing til i physically cant!" You blurted out "oh? Haha, please dont.." he replied, sounding concerened, but quickly hiding it. "Wanna walk home with me? My House isnt that far from here" he asked you nodded and followed him through the exit. "Sure, i'd love too..!"
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Im just gonna allow myself to yap about supernatural and see where destiny takes me. SIDENOTE IF U WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS WITH ME LITERALLY PLEASE I WANT TO PLEASE INTERACT WITH ME.
Okay first of all im starting with the start (s1+2). BEST LIGHTING TO MOOD EVER EVER EVER. Like you want dark scary monsters??? ITS THERE. I remember there being a reason they changed the lighting (smugly: yes i listen to the podcast) but i CANT REMEMBER. The characterisation of the macho eldest son coded scared eldest daughter Dean is unreal and parallel in epicness to repressed queer allegory something is inherently wrong with him little brother. The brief moments of emotional vulnerability. Dont get me STARTED on Dean's monologue in the s2 finale i'll start crying. It's crazy how rude john is to Dean like excuse me he raised your kid and now ur bitching about him? Try saying thank you for once. I think the only reason john actually said im proud of you was because he realised when azazel said it dean was like "ur not my dad" and to john it was a little "oh shit" moment. Sam has every right to be angry but every time he gets angry at dean something in me shatters a little because deans trying so hard for himself and sam and sam doesnt know who or how to lash out (emotional dysregulation baybee) so aims for deans jugular like nooo honeyyyy noooooo. This era was the best sam in my opinion.
Rest of the show down here:
Onto S3-5. Cant remember jack about season 3. Season 4 CASTIEL MY BELOVED MY LIGHT MY LIFE MY REASON FOR LIVING. Absolutely loved everything about Weird Cas and i wanted more of him why did they have to domesticate him. His and Deans dynamic was impeccable and yk something??? I wanted to see Dean in hell torturing people i wanted to see it on his face how much he hated that he enjoyed it and i wanted to see Cas' face at watching the righteous man lose. Like the best we got was Yellow Fever GOD I LOVED THAT bit when he was hallucinating the book and it said "you gonna cry?" Like so many people think thats a funny episode but it makes me so sad because he is DYING and from such a young age hes been told to stow it away, lock it down to the point hes HALLUCINATING IT. Cas falling for dean. Im sorry i just. They are the best love story. LUCIFER. He was scarier back then, but i do love later seasons lucy too. Something about the peeling skin and the "we will always end up right here" just slapped. ENDVERSE EPSIODE god so good can we just take a moment to think about it. Okay cool thanks okay. Demon blood Sam arc was fun but had unfulfilled potential. Cant give you specifcs rn its late and my brain needs to get this all out so if you know you know. The whole meta stuff with Chuck was eh until he was confirmed as god and then i was like duuude the faint strings of marionettes are glistening in the sunrise like how do we know --- im getting ahead of myself.
S6-11. I know, its a big chunk. But basically the whole thing could be renamed "Crowley's unrequited love story". Cas and crowley were the best duo i almost forgot like they are genuinely so funny together and i bet it would be great to be tortured by them UMM THE BETRAYAL i honestly loved Cas' episode the only thing i didn't like was how the reveal itself was done like... Idk just a bit... Kryptonite???? Anywho i Loved the tension between Dean and Cas DEAN LOOKED BACK. Um leviathans were my favourite monster but they became so dumbbbb after washing up liquid killed them. BOBBYS EPISODE ALWAYS MAKES ME SOB MY EYES OUT "i raised two boys and they became heroes" allow me to DIE. Also damn impressed a shot to the head didnt take him down but it was lovely to see Deans first world, first solid rock properly crumble around him (forgetting john okay he wasnt a healthy rock) . PURGATORY DEAN JDJSJDJDJD kill me please his fight or flight mode was SO. So sad we didnt get more of purgatory like i would pay to see more i would kill probably but we'll overlook that. Benny my beloved. They definitely all got together Cas included like who wouldnt at that point. Smth i didnt like is how wheneer they went back to purgatory, unlike how dean described it "360 battle 24/7" or some shit like that it was EMPTY. Like please,, i know the plot needs convenience BUT PURGATORY ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE CONVENIENT. But dean recrafting his own memories to make himself believe that he failed to save Cas rather than what he perceived as Cas giving up on him- hang on i dropped my jaw somewhere, gimme a sec i need to go find it-- LIKE. HHHH. The whole mind control shit going on with Cas because his ties to Dean had been severed (saw a post about that and loved it but cant rmb it) and HIM BEING THE ONE TO BREAK IT. The crypt scene mmmm i love. Want more. Mark of Cain dean was literally my favourite. A violent, mentally unstable man who also has bad mental health and is often covered in blood? Yes pls. Cas being with him every step of the way. I havent mentioned Sam in a while. Hes just kind of been there. Hate that he slowly became 2D. Far away in the background hes got his worried expression and is rocking, saying "Dean? Dean? Cas? Jack? Dean?" Like writers why did u strip his personality except for worry. Do Not get me started on the whole Amelia thing ill stab someone. But yeah cas saying he'll watch dean murder the world is my universe :). If someone said that to me id say "omg really?" And develop a huge fat crush (somehow). CHARLIE DYING WAS AN ABOMINATION When they brought back Eileen why not charlie like. Dont bring characters back at this point because theres all sorts of issues grr. Amara was cool af but i didnt like the whole amara x dean stuff because it was just weird. Luciferrrrr hes so girlypop i love him DEAN DIDNT KNOW IT WASNT CAS but thats only because lucy purposefully wore less clothes around him to distract him.
S12-14. Im running out of steam. MARYYY. It hurt to see Sam get along with Mary becsuse he never knew her as anything else while all dean wanted was a mom and that wasnt who she really was anymore. He loved her so much but couldnt break through that barrier of "it wasnt the perfect marriage until after she died" vibes. God that scene in s5 where its suggested dean saw +/ smelled what happened to Mary and he was literally backing himself into a corner BROKE me. Havent mentioned the Wayward sisters but please know they are so important to me they are my everything. Jack is also. Loved Kelly, very sad she had to die. Wanted Jack to be a baby but thats not good for television is it. But i love Jack so much hes such a sweetie who can kill with a thought. Alternate universe michael and Michael!Dean was epic af but michael dying like that was so anticlimactic gonna be honest i think they were just reaching for ways to lose Jacks soul. Garth GARTH!!! Hes so cute. I loved all those "hand recorded" episodes btw like ghostfacers and that one teen wolf type stuff. Dean hiding in his room is so me. Free Will Theory is so fucked up at this point ur sat there saying gods been pulling the strings this whole time and i supposed to be okay with it?? I so get why deans angry but i definitely think thats something Chuck emphasised (crappy excuse for crappy writing) to an extreme level because WHAT. Like dude. I cant even describe how out of character he felt at some times.
S15. Currently rewatching and cant rmb much of it. 3 characters dead in the first 3 episodes. They either kill off all side characters or we dont hear from them at all to tie up or shove away loose ends. I cant even talk abiut the finale please i cant rn im way too tired. It straight up didnt need to exist, it could've only been 19 eps. Cas. Castiel. He did want you my darling.
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jacedified · 2 months
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things i cant stop thinking about !!
most of this is going to imperium related so enjoy my brain turning mwah
also pls ignore my mid sentence rambling i have a serious problem
warnings: gore/mentions of death , violence , imperium , swearing :D , adult with internet access cant shut up
- yandere caller being a shade
(someone said this on a hc list and now im actively running with it)
- sams eyes being brown
(as a brown eye haver i know he misses them dearly and i wnna give him the worlds sweetest biggest longest hug)
- the idea of gavin “slicing” peoples threads for kody in imperium
(forcing my husband ((i need therapy im married to a fictional incubus)) to do such acts simply because you want to you sick freak ILL FUCKING KILL U- oh wait gavin already did xoxo kiss my ass from hell kody)
- the look on kodys face at the end of it all
(as previously stated i wanted that man dead.. i just wanna make sure hes actually gone yknow)
- what asher’s smile looked like when him and david were together (imperium)
(knowing that david was gone, hearing the random audience member asking for david to be alive and left alone in the first imperium video, knowing they were mates, knowing how heartbroken asher was after his death i just wanna see them happy maann ((it feels criminal to use emojis on tumblr)) 😭😭)
- if lasko calling freelancer “my dear” when you first met him in the haven was a sneak peek for his later ((is the word prime for like normal redacted universe characters i can’t remember, like prime lasko yada yada)) listeners name
- if no one was watching gavin WOULD HE HAD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IMP!HUXLEY???
(the amount of shit talking hux did when freelancer and gavin first get to the haven had me ready to fight in an instant ((it mightve just been my overwhelming adoration for gavin but still)) like he was acting like an annoying jock who gets a job as security for some fuck ass rich university and thinks hes on top of the world like dont piss me off huxley or damien gets it in the other universe so help me god)
- is anyone else as attracted to the tension between vincent and asher in imperium as i am..
(i have no words for how “yippee kicking my feet happy smiley kiss now kiss now what if u kissed rn” i was when asher and vincent are talking but also i feel like pet ((is that vincents listeners name or vegas I CANT REMEMBER PLS)) was behind a door listening in and getting jealous bc “that should be me holding your hand..”
… excuse the outburst)
- vampire milo.. thats all
(GAWD hes so hot like he always is and always has been but jesus FUCKING christ theres something about him having been a vamp did something to me that i cant even explain)
- what was avior saying to lasko to make him irritated with him..
(i mean yeah hes a yapper but i feel like it was just “hey we need help down here” and lasko rolling his eyes and waiting two weeks before actually doing anything)
- WHERE TF IS ELLIOT WHERE TF IS SUNSHINE CAN I BEAT BLAKES ASS??
- what would have happened had milo not broken the ward
(again someone else mentioned this ((i would tag them but it was 6hrs ago and i was just scrolling and reading)) and now i cant stop thinking about it)
- what is avior hearing in his last video
(its been a while since ive actually listened to aviors playlist again but there was a voice or sounds he was hearing after getting out of the meridian and its just been on my mind)
- gavin having a myspace account
(he would love myspace i just know he would and i feel like he’d be an avid tumblr user but like its just him posting his favorite pics of himself from the week and updates on whatever small pet him and freelancer would very obviously inevitably get bc he saw it in a pet store or on the street and couldnt resist)
- what happens when freelancer gets old..
(freelancer is just that.. a freelancer. they arent a vamp, or a demon, or even some secret third thing.. what happens to them and gav when they get old. have they had that talk yet? i shouldnt think about this bc it makes me spiral into a bucket of tears and sadness bc its the same thing with sam and darlin’ like we wont know what theyll do when their partners get old and they are still young and immortal.. sigh 😔)
- can i cut the meridian open with a knife if i tried?
(how thin is the meridian? how easy is it to access? how long would it take me to literally stab it open? ((i have serious issues)) )
- imp!damien..
(yea i have a crush on him or whatever nothing crazy)
- is the person asher catches in imperium baabe or is it just random listener #18683 ?
(obviously my first thought when i listened to imperium like a year ago i thought baabe nd asher would be together ((i was delusional and on an asher high)) but then when it was revealed that he and david were mates in that universe did that mean baabe just doesnt exist or are they the person that gets caught by him or again some secret third thing)
- what happens to angel in the mess that is imperium, honestly what happens to all the shaw pack listeners
(obviously sweetheart is left out of this equation bc them and milo are still happily obsessed with each other in every universe BUT angel, baabe, and darlin where yall at??)
- WHERE ARE THE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EMPATHY DEMONS IN IMPERIUM UNIVERSE??
(this just popped into my mind but WHERE IS MY SON?? what have u done with my son WHERE IS MY SON??!!?)
- is anyone else as obsessed with just erik and his mind?
(that handsome blessing to my youtuber universe.. i could listen to him babble for hours and will do so bc it feeds my “listening to nerdy man babble on abt his fixations” quota)
- what imperium versions of characters do people prefer over their counterparts
(personally i prefer imp! huxley, damien, and vincent over their prime versions ((still dont know if im using the term prime in the right context)) idk what it is but well i know what it is for huxley and damien but we dont need to get into why i dont like hux and dames rn :D but for vincent i just like seeing a different version of him i think.. hes so confident with his decisions, and knows what he wants in imperium i just want that for regular vince too.. sigh)
uhh anyways.. i think thats enough thinking for now, going back to sleep
stay safe out there
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dr-spectre · 17 days
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So brainwashed Callie in official content is cringe. Do you feel the same about it in Fanfiction? Have there been any takes on Hypno Callie that you enjoyed?
Honestly? I don't feel the same way about it in fanfiction. There's a lot of information and different takes floating around about certain things in the franchise so I dont necessarily blame people for using the word "brainwashed" for Callie in their fanfiction. The English localisation of Splatoon has said she was brainwashed despite other languages and the original Japanese version not using the word. At least from my own knowledge. So I get why most fans would take that information and immediately believe it's true.
Plus there's more people talking about what actually happened to Callie on twitter and tumblr which is really incredible to see!!! Im so happy to see Callie being treated with more respect!!!!! It is a night and day difference compared to the treatment in 2017 to 2020.
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Surprisingly enough I don't actually consume a lot of fanfiction. I can read my own writing easily but I can't read others that well and... I feel really bad about it... but I have read a bit of this one fanfiction that got Hypno Callie 99% right. I fucking forgot the name but i was recommended it by someone in the past, it had "dome" in the name? It was about DJ Octavio and the Octarian domes.
The way they explained the shades was actually really interesting and unique! It's basically shades that play catchy music and that's how Callie got hypnotised. It fits in line with DJ Octavio too as he's well... a DJ. Plus daydreaming and listening to music goes hand in hand so it has some basis in reality too. Everyone at some point has been put into a daydream state when vibing out to music.
Although I say 99% because there's this one line that Callie says, "Are these shades brainwashing me?" And it was so clunky I'm sorry LOL. And there's this implication that its also doing something further to Callie's brain but it's not that explained well, which i really dont like. Other than that, my Hypno Callie content is mainly fanart and 99% of that has been phenomenonal and powerful stuff.
However.... my biggest fucking gripe in "fan content" if you wanna call it that is... timeline videos and people going over plot details and stuff like that.
These people actually do RESEARCH and spend a lot of time analysing the story of Splatoon and trying to put the pieces together. Yet for Callie it feels like they just do a quick read through of Inkipedia and that's it because they dont give a flying fuck about her character. It drives me fucking psychotic and i cant be safe watching Splatoon videos anymore. How hard is it to say hypnotised? HOW HARD IS IT?!?!?! JUST USE THAT WORD!!! THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO DO!!! GOD DAMN!!!! DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD BRAINWASHED AT ALL?!?!?!
It's really disappointing to me that this outdated timeline video is the ONLY VIDEO to say Callie was hypnotised and not "brainwashed." And that... makes me kinda pissed off.
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YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE CHOSEN ONE!!!!
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YOU TOO!!!!
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I can't even watch these videos anymore man. I'm sad. I'm not even trying to send hate over to them, they put in a lot of work... except for a character I really care about....
Imagine you like a particular character and you feel really strongly about them. Now Imagine people saying wrong or yucky things about that character and treating it as fact despite you knowing "Hey something is not right here. I think there's more here than people realise." And all the most popular and well liked content is spreading that kind of information around about your favourite character. It would drive you crazy yeah? I'm sure everyone has that one character in every fanbase.
Anyways, thanks for the ask! Sorry if it was long... I tend to ramble about Hypno Callie LOL! (Autism)
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