#i just...was not really in a mood to write...

[theliving-radio]

Sorry If this one is too confusing 😭 

So basically NRC (maybe Ortho too but platonic love) with a s/o that got turned into a cat by a potion mix-up, not naming names Grim and Adeuce 👀 (also, maybe reader could be like a maine coon? Idk but I love the idea of reader was a cat they would be bigger than grim but any cat is cute 😖) but the twist is that s/o is not a normal cat, but actually a flerken (If you don't know what that is, it's basically a space cat from marvel) So when Idia is petting them too aggressive or Floyd is squeezing them too tightly or if anyone is annoying them, they just open their mouth and swallow them up like a fckin snack, and maybe spit them back out when they're in a good mood leaving them so fckin traumatized. And the people witnessing it are like 🧍

I know about the Flerken! I used to be such a huge ass Marvel fan so many years ago! I fell off the band wagon right after Avengers: End Game. I even have an old fanfic posted on Wattpad for Marvel… I… haven’t worked on it in such a long time…

Please don’t attack me lol

Anyway, instead of just every character at once, I did every dorms reaction. Just to add some spice and fun to the mix!

And for the funnies

Warning: human consumption (but not gory or bloody. Just pocket dimension stuff), not part of the Big Brother Malleus writing, can be romantic or platonic (Ortho is clearly platonic)

And I do apologize for taking so long on writing this! Get distracted really easily.

Like REALLY easily. Anyway I hope you enjoy it!

“… Oops?”

Grim had no idea how it happened. He didn’t! You couldn’t possibly blame him for accidentally mixing up your drink with the potion assignment he was supposed to turn in!

But here you guys were, back in Ramshackle. Him looking up at your now fluffy fur body.

Cat.

You were now a cat.

“Listen, I can fix this!”

“Mrep…”

“Don’t doubt me hench… cat?”

Your cat self rolled its eyes and stood up on all fours. Before Grim was able to say anything, you picked him up by the scruff of his neck with your mouth and trotted out of Ramshackle.

The scene looked like a mother cat dragging away her baby kitten.

“MRAH! Let me go! I command it!”

You ignored him and went straight to the mirror chamber, hoping that one of your friends in the dorms will help you.

Heartslabyul

Ace and Deuce started losing their shit as soon as they saw Grim being dragged by a larger cat in the Heartslabyul garden.

“Grim, Who’s the fluffy one?” Deuce covers his mouth to hide his smile.

“Did you finally find your parent figure?” Ace teased.

“CAN IT, ACE!” You plop Grim down and trot over to Deuce who bent down to give you scratches.

Grim dusts himself off, grumbling under his breath. “I could have walked just fine! You didn’t have to drag me all the way here!”

You ignored Grim as you happily laid down in the grass and rolled over. Deuce’s eyes practically sparkled when you presented your belly to him, and he carefully rubbed it, making you purr happily.

“Mrah! Henchmen! Stop being difficult!” Grim shouted, his words causing Deuce to stop giving you pets and Ace to let out a strangled wheeze.

“P-prefect!?”

“Oh Sevens! What did you do this time!?” Ace crouches a bit as he begins laughing once again.

Grim crosses his arms and looks away. “I didn’t do anything! It was… it was them! They shouldn’t leave their stuff around in the first place!”

Offended! Scandalized! Wrong!

You picked yourself up from the grass and walked over to Grim…

Then swatted him.

“MRAH!?” Grim lets out a startled sound as he rubs his head. Before he was able to ask why you did that, you swatted him again. And again. And again.

Ace was on the grass floor laughing his ass off. It was like watching a cat hitting their child if they misbehaved.

“I would assume you’re finished painting the roses.” Ace stops his laughing and looks over to see Riddle, Cater, and Trey walking over. Riddle squints his eyes at the roses, seeing some of them still white and untouched by the crimson red paint.

“D-dorm Leader Riddle! We uh- we actually have a good reason why we aren’t finished!” Deuce tries to explain as he picks you up and shows you to the three upper class-men.

Cater gasps as he takes his phone out, quickly snapping photos of your fluffy figure. You only blinked at him and tilted your head, causing the ginger to squeal. “Oh my Sevens! They are totes adorbs!”

“A cat?! Why is there a cat here?” Riddle asks, his face showing confusion before he lets out a gasp. “The Hedgehogs! Are the hedgehog’s safe?! Did this cat do something!?”

“I’ll go check on them right now-!”

“There is no need to do that!” Deuce cuts Trey off. “This is the Prefect!”

There was a long pause between all the Heartslabyul students. The Three upper class-men processing what the first year just said. Riddle stares at Deuce and Ace before opening his mouth. “… what did you two do?”

Deuce sputters and Ace quickly looked offended. “We didn’t do anything! Grim was the one that did this!”

“Mew.” You let out a small meow and Cater broke out from his shock and started rapidly taking pictures once again.

Riddle groans as he takes a deep breath. Inhale, exhale… he didn’t want to blow his head off in front of the Prefect after all. “Grim, explain to me… what you gave the Prefect.”

“How am I supposed to know?! It’s their fault their water bottle and the potion bottle looked the same!”

“What was the potion you made?” Grim went quiet when Riddle asked the question. The dire-beast mumbles something under his breath and Riddle’s eye twitches. “Repeat that again.”

“It was supposed to be a Sleepy time potion! To help the drinker sleep better!”

“HOW DID YOU FULLY MESS THAT UP?!” Riddle full on shouts at Grim, causing the poor, small feline cat to flinch. “A Sleep potion? You messed up a SLEEP potion???”

“Riddle-,” Trey tries to calm Riddle down, but Riddle fully ignores him.

“In what universe could you possibly mix up a Sleep potion for a transfiguration potion?! And you didn’t even bother to check what you brought first before handing it to the Prefect?!”

Riddle continues going off on Grim, scolding him nonstop.

It was too noisy.

Your maw opens, an eldritch presence unnoticed by the others in the room, solely focused on Riddle. A single pink, flesh like tendril lulls out.

Targeting Riddle.

Nobody was able to progress what happened, it went by so fast. One second Riddle was standing right between Cater and Trey, the next he was gone. All they were able to see was a flash of… something… coming from you.

Deuce was the first one to snap out of it and let out a scream, dropping you in the process. Thank Sevens for cat-like reflexes! You landed perfectly on all hours and grabbed ahold of Grim once again, and bolted out of the Heartslabyul dorm.

Trey blinks at where Riddle was once standing, then the universe snaps him out of it. “W-wait! Hold on!”

“Suddenly… Prefect isn’t as cute as a cat anymore.” Cater spoke up as he watched Trey sprint towards the direction where you left.

“Would they even be considered a cat after what we just saw?! What the hell are they?!”

“I was giving them belly rubs this whole time… they could have eaten me too…” Deuce looks at his own hands in horror. Meanwhile Ace was cursing at the sky, and Cater was swiping through his photos he took of you.

Savanaclaw

Leona let out a loud snort when he saw Grim squirming around and getting dragged by a larger, fluffier cat then him. He had to cover his mouth to hide his smirk that threatened to break across his face.

You decided to try your luck in Savanclaw in hopes maybe Leona would help you out. He was in his third year after all!… even though he’s been held back a few times already due to being lazy and not giving a damn. Either way, you hope the lion beat-man can help.

“Prefect! Stop dragging me! You are the henchman, and I am the great mage! I should not have to be treated like this! And what was that from earlier! Why did you eat him?!”

Leona was on his way out to the botanical gardens to nap and get away from his noisy dorm. Now, he is more interested in what the hell is going on.

“Oui, Grim… who’s your new friend? Did you finally get a parent figure to treat your spoiled hind?” Leona couldn’t help tease the dire-beast as he strode over to the two of you.

When you spotted Leona making his way over to you, you casually dropped Grim off. When he was released, Grim immediately ran and hid behind Leona.

“Oui, what do you think you're doing? Get off.”

“No way! I ain’t getting close to the Prefect, after they turned into that… that thing!”

Leona looks over at your new fluffy body…

You were currently grooming one of your paws and rubbing it against one of your kitty ears.

“You turned the Prefect into a harmless house cat?”

“They ain’t a normal house cat! Nor are they harmless!”

As you were cleaning yourself, you felt a hand grab you from the nape of your neck and pulled you up. Leona held you in front of him and sniffed you… just by your scent alone he was able to confirm it was indeed you. But there was also something off with your scent, something unnatural…

“Housewarden Leona!” Leona pulls you away from him and glances over to where the voice came from, noticing Jack and Ruggie making their way over to him. Ruggie was currently eating a donut that Jack offered him just a while ago. He was even going to offer some to Leona.

“Ah, what’s with the fuzz ball?” Ruggie glances over at you and then see’s Grim hiding behind Leona’s leg, taking a bite from his guilty treat. “And what’s got you so spooked?”

“Leona, is that the prefect?” Jack speaks up.

“You smell them too, right? Yeah it’s them. Putting two and two together, I’m guessing Grim messed up some sort of potion.”

“I didn’t mess anything up!” Grim tries to protest as he looks up at Leona.

Ruggie snickers as he goes to take another bite from his donut… he never got the chance.

You lick your chops, eyes focused on the pastry in Ruggie’s possession. He noticed your intent a second too late, unable to protect his treat as you collect it like picking up a mug before swallowing it whole via tentacle.

Everyone went quiet.

You let out a small burp.

“MY DONUT!”

“THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT?!”Jack yells at the Hyena beast-men. “Did you not see what shot out of the Prefect's mouth?!”

“See? See?! I told you!” Grim points his paw at you while looking up at Leona. Meanwhile the Dorm Leader wasn’t sure on what to do in this situation.

Sensing how Leona was unsure what to do, you decided it was time to go.

When you began to approach Grim, he took a step back. “Mrah! You stay away, Henchmen!” Ah, so he was gonna be difficult…

Before Grim was going to protest once more, a single tentacle shoots out of your mouth and grabs him. All three of the Savanaclaw students just watched in horror as you gobbled up Grim.

And went on your merry way.

“… I think I’m just gonna go take a nap in my room.”

“I’m suddenly not hungry anymore…”

“… shouldn’t we go after them?!”

Both Ruggie and Leona walk away from Jack. Not that concerned about what happened, or want to be part of it.

Octavinelle

“Jade?”

“Yes, Azul?”

“Can you explain to me why there is a cat sitting on the lounge bar?”

You sat upon the bar, lounging without a care in the world. When you left Savanaclaw, you hoped that maybe Azul would help out. Unfortunately Jade found you and decided to give you chin scritches.

You really enjoyed those.

Right beside you was a bowl of water and a small plate of cooked mushrooms that Jade really wanted you to try out. He wanted to see if cats could really eat mushrooms. Since you weren’t fully a cat, they should be fine… right?

“I found them in the dorm, they looked so hungry and lost… and I couldn’t just let them be.”

“… so you decided to feed them mushrooms…”

Jade smiles as he watches you sniff your plate before digging in. He’s been watching you eat the Turkey Tail Mushroom for 20 minutes now. This was actually your second plate, and Jade was more than pleased when he saw you scarf down the first.

“These mushrooms better not be harmful! I don’t want a dead animal to scare off our customers.”

“Don’t worry, these types of mushrooms are nonlethal to both dogs and cats.” Jade assures Azul as he gently pets your head, causing you to lean into his touch and purr. Azul only squints his eyes at you, placing his hand on his chin as he comes up with an idea.

“Why don’t we use them to lure in some customers? They seem well behaved.”

Just when you heard Azul say that, you sat up and jerked your body a bit. Azul panics, thinking the worst. “Jade, you said those were nonlethal!” The dorm leader looks at Jade, who looked just as confused as they watched you make coughing sounds and your body jerking.

Then you spit out a large hairball.

A hairball that shouldn’t come out of a cat.

Jade and Azul step back as they just stare in shock as Grim was laying on the lounge's bar face down, covered in saliva.

You went back to eating.

Grim lets out a gasp like he’s been holding his breath the whole time he was inside your dimensional body. He was able to breathe just fine, he didn’t have to be so dramatic.

Drama queen.

“Grim?! What in Sevens?!”

“FIX THEM!”

Grim scrabbles to Azul, only for the Octo-mer to back away from the slimy dire-beast.

“I don’t care if I have to sign a contract! Just fix the Prefect!”

“Oya~? Is that the prefect?” Jade looks in amusement as he watches you finish another plate of mushrooms. Maybe he should have given you something… better to eat.

Azul pushes his glasses up as he glances over to you. Grim didn’t turn you into some type of house cat… no, this was more weird than that.

“Eeh~ What’s with the kitty cat?” Before Azul was able to come up with a good idea to turn you back… and to scam Grim… Floyd walked into the lounge.

You looked over at the eel twin and saw his smile widen as he began to approach you.

Red alert!

Danger!

Activate distraction!

Your body starts jerking again and you cough off something much larger. Something more human like…

Floyd stops in his tracks as he watches you cough up a slime covered Riddle. The poor redhead was staring up at the ceiling, his eyes filled with horror and disbelief.

At least he’s more calm now.

Floyd bursts out laughing as he sees Riddle, the laughter causing him to snap out of it and to finally take in his surroundings. Jade was intrigued by events that were unfolding. Azul stared in horror at the slime that was getting all over the lounge floor, wondering if it would stain at all.

Distraction successful!

You take this as your cue to leave, this time not even bringing Grim with you.

“H-hey! Prefect! Get back here!” Azul chases you as soon as you see an opportunity to escape the Ocavinelle dorm.

As you run, all you hear behind you is Floyd laughing at Riddle's misfortune, and Riddle trying to inform Jade on what’s happening with you.

Scarabia

“Jamil! Jamil, look!”

Jamil was currently finishing up the dishes when he heard Kalim come running into the dorm's kitchen. He lets out a sigh, mentally preparing what Kalim was going to show him. When he turned around to face the dorm leader, it wasn’t as bad as he was expecting it to be.

Kalim was holding you out to Jamil, showing you off to his best friend. You slow-blink at Jamil who only stared at you with indifference. When he looks up at Kalim, he just expresses how unimpressed he was.

“I found this cat trying to get into the dorm!”

“… and you just let them in?”

“They might be hungry and are trying to look for food!” Kalim smiles as he changes his position on holding you, now cradling you in his arms.

You weren’t hungry after your mushroom meal, but you were thirsty. Thankfully, Jamil was able to pick up on that and began to prepare of bowl of water for you. Right as he laid it out for you, Kamil was more than happy to put you down right in front of the bowl.

“Can we keep them?”

“Kalim, you don’t need a pet cat. And it would be a terrible idea to keep them in the dorm. Look how thick their fur is, they would overheat, I wouldn't be too surprised if you hadn’t found them, they would have blacked out.”

Jamil's words caused Kalim to deflate just a bit, but he was able to bounce back up. “What if we find them a new home? That way they would be taken care of and be comfortable!”

Jamil already felt a headache starting to form.

In the corner vision, you see something scitter across the kitchen counter. You lick your lips as you pick your head up the water bowl and zeroed in on the small bug…

It was a harmless beetle.

But you knew for a fact that Jamil wouldn’t think so.

When the vice house warden saw your attention drawn away from the water, he looked at what you were staring at… only to tense up when he saw the beetle.

“Kalim…”

“I see it! Don’t worry, I got it!” Kalim was more than happy to help. The sweet sunshine child went to grab a napkin and a glass cup. When Kalim retrieved his items, he turned towards the beetle and slowly began to approach the counter.

But this wasn’t just any type of beetle.

This bitch had wings.

As soon as Kalim made his first step, the thing spread its wings out and started to take off. The house warden let out a startled yelp, and Jamil was ready to scream bloody murder as he grabbed his magic pen.

As much as you would have loved to enjoy this little chaotic show, you didn’t want to be in the crossfire between Jamil and his magic.

Before any spells were casted, you opened your mouth and a large tendril slipped out and grabbed hold of the beetle, and just as quickly… you drew it back in and swallowed the thing.

Like a frog.

Both Kalim and Jamil stared down at you; the silence in the room felt loud.

“Oh! Thank you very much!” Kalim put down his items and picked you up, raising you above his head and spun around. “You wanted to help, didn’t you? That’s so sweet!”

“Kalim! That’s not an ordinary cat! Did you not see what just happen?!”

“I’m gonna name you Froggy!”

You only let out a small burp as Kalim gave you your new name, swaying you side to side.

Jamil was starting to feel that headache. Just when he was about to protest about Kalim keeping the ‘cat’ again, a familiar voice made its way into the Scarabia kitchen.

“Ah, te voilà, trickster!” Rook walks in the kitchen with ease as he strode over to Kalim who was still holding you. Kalim beams as he sees the Pomefiore Vice house warden. “Rook! What a surprise!”

Jamil took you from Kalim and presented you to Rook. “I’m guessing you're here for… this… please take them away from here.”

“Oh, why thank you! Word has spread that the Prefect has turned into an alien-like cat, and I thought it was a perfect opportunity to take them to Roi du Poison.”

“THAT’S THE PREFECT?!” Jamil yells as his headache comes in at full force.

“Oui! I must go now! So thank you!” Rook doesn’t explain anything else as he whisks you away from Scarabia.

Kalim and Jamil just stand there in the kitchen, processing the quick retreat the vice Housewarden of Pomefiore made.

Jamil rubs his temples “ … I’m going to my room and taking a nap.”

“Ah, I’ll get the washcloth.”

Pomefiore

“CUT!”

Vil’s sharp voice echoes throughout the courtyard, making everyone in the Film Club stop what they were doing.

The Film Club was currently doing a short sci-fi horror scene. Vil wanted to give himself and his club members a challenge since sci-fi and horror isn’t their usual go to genre for filming. Thankfully, Ortho and Epel are helpful for stirring them in the correct direction.

“We’ve filmed this scene over and over… yet I feel like something is lacking in this… alien…”

Everyone looks over at one of the actors who was dressed up like a snake-mix-octopus-mix-crocodile.

The actor only gave Vil a little wiggle with his costume.

“Your acting is good, but the costume… I feel like I’m looking at a child's drawing come to life. Where did we get this costume again?”

“This was actually hand made…”

“So it is a child’s drawing come to life… truly a nightmare,” Vil lets out a sigh as he walks over to Ortho to go over the footage they captured. Epel was sitting off to the side to watch how everything was going.

“Roi du Poison!” Members of the Film Club looked over to see Rook. He was practically skipping over to Vil while holding a super fluffy cat. “I have found you an alien!”

Vil blanks as Rook presented you to him. You couldn’t help but slowly blink at Vil and meow at him. He didn’t look all that impressed by seeing you.

“This is a cat, Rook.”

“Oui!”

“Why, in the sevens, would this be an alien? It just looks like an ordinary cat you would find off the street.”

You were more than just a street cat!

Rook was already sensing you wanted to show off that you weren’t just some simple cat, so he took an apple out from under his hat.

Vil was ready to question him before Rook tossed it in the air.

You zeroed in on the fruit and opened your mouth, allowing the tentacle to zip out and take a hold on the apple, and bring it back to you. Students in the Film Club let out a scream as they witnessed the slimy appendage come out of your mouth. Vil didn’t really respond, but he begins to think on how to put you in the movie now.

“House Warden Vil! You have to let them in the short film!” Epel shouts enthusiastically.

“Are they trained?”

“Even better! It's actually the Prefect!” Rook smiles as he announces it was really you.

You nod to confirm it was, and that you understood what was going on.

Vil smiles as he claps his hands together, pleased with the new addition to his short film.

And that’s how you got to be the alien in Vils New Short Film. At first the Club members were a bit weary, but upon learning that you were the Ramshackle Prefect, they fully accepted you instead of just some weird cat Rook found.

Ortho kept staring at you in pure awe when the actors went to the scene to reveal the part of the alien. You let out a hiss and revealed the bunches of tentacles and tendrils, just a cluster of horrors.

Every moment when filming was over, Ortho kept doing scans over your new body. The results he kept getting back were quite curious.

You didn’t turn into an ordinary cat. And Ortho was intrigued by this, even going as far as to send his brother the scans and data he was collecting.

One of the scenes that the club needed to capture was when one of the characters gets taken away from the alien. And you happily delivered it.

By gobbling up your fellow Night Raven Classmate.

Members from the club screamed in horror from behind the scenes as they watched the poor victim be taken away in one gulp. Vil had absolutely no words to say as he watched you target the next sad victim.

“Rook, you mentioned to me offhand that they’ll be ok, right?”

“Oui! The Prefect has taken both Roi de Roses and Monsieur Fuzzball and spit them out in safe conditions!”

Vil raised an eyebrow as he stared at his vice Housewarden, “Define, in your words… ‘Safe conditions’.”

Just when Rook was going to answer Vil, you came padding along.

Then you coughed up the club members.

Both actors just laid there on the ground, looking absolutely wrecked. Meanwhile you just started cleaning yourself.

The Pomefiore Housewarden looked at his own club members with absolute disgust seeing them covered in questionable slime and saliva. “Both of you, shower… Now!” That seemed to have snapped the two members out of their small daze as they scrambled to get up and head to their dorms to freshen up.

“Vil Schoenheit,” Both Vil and Rook turn to see Ortho hovering towards them. “If it’s ok with you, after doing today's scenes, can I take the Prefect? I’ve been doing scans and collecting data on them. I got a message from Idia and he wants to check on them.”

“Well, Idia is more then welcome to have them. We are done for today anyway.” Vil glances over to you.

You were innocently laying on your back waiting for your next victim to pet your tum tum.

“The shots we’ve collected are better than I expected them to be. Prefect,” you pick your head up and look at Vil. “You did fantastic today.”

You slowly blink at him and begin to purr.

Ortho giggles as he moves over to you and gently picks you up. “Come on, Prefect, I’m going to take you to big brother. He’s quite curious about what you turned into… and he wants to play with you.”

You let out a small mew as you let Ortho float away with you. Vil waved Ortho goodbye as he looked over the footage, pleased with the results they got.

Ignihyde

“Wehehehe~ Prefect you have such soft toe beans~” Idia happily let you sit in his lap as he played with your tiny cat paws, he was even taking photos of you from all angles. You didn’t mind, you just sat there peacefully with your eyes closed and your tongue sticking out just a bit.

Ortho giggles as he secretly records his brother playing with you. It was too cute! Plus, their mom has been asking how Idia has been doing, and Idia has been dodging her questioning and all that. Now, Ortho can have something to send to her.

“The Prefect seems to be enjoying themselves, brother! It’s said that cats stick their tongue out when they want to be playful or are relaxed.” Ortho casually mentions the fact as he does another scan over your body. He floats over to Idia and shows him the x-ray scan of your body.

“There’s… no bones.”

“And I don’t seen a stomach anywhere, though I am detecting lots of tunnels reaching to different places.”

“Pocket dimensions,” Idia picks you up, holding you from under your front arms. “Wehehe~ you're an ultra find, Prefect. Like an SSR+ find!” Idia gets off his bed and places you in his gamer chair.

You blink at him with your tongue still out as you relax fully into the soft leather. You watch as Idia taps a few times on his hologram keyboard, pulling up photos from your acting scenes and the x-ray scans Ortho took.

“You can still understand what I’m saying, right? You didn’t turn into just a kitty cat with a smooth brain, right?”

You huff at that and fully sit up, meowing at Idia and flicking your paw at him as if saying “get on with whatever you're gonna say”.

“Perfect. Now, I’m gonna show you what you are… because you look like a cute kitty cat, but that’s your character armor. What you really are-,” Idia motions to his monitor, showing the x-rays. “-is a fleshy alien thing that looks like a large parasite crammed into your cat-like body.”

You stare at the X-ray certain of yourself. It should be concerning really, because how the hell did you turn into that thing? Just a few hours ago you were human, and now you're some type of… alien? Parasite?

Either way you look sick as fuck.

“You don’t seem to be that freaked out,” Ortho floats over to you.

To show you weren’t that troubled by it, you opened your mouth and let out a collage of tentacles. One shoots out to grab Idia’s opened bag of chips, causing the older Shroud to yelp. You bring it back to your mouth and fully consume it, spitting the plastic bag out when you were done with it.

“… make yourself at home I guess.”

“Ah! So you do have a stomach! I can see you digesting the chips!” Ortho exclaimed excitedly.

Ortho sends the X-ray video of you digesting the chips to Idia, making it pop up on one of the monitors. You watched with curiosity. Some would find it disgusting but for you- you just thought it was interesting seeing how your new body functioned.

“Now, I hope you don’t mind if we can do some tests on you, Prefect.” Idia begins putting on his lab gear, carefully watching your reaction.

Ok. Sure. Running some tests wasn't that big of a deal. You weren’t in a rush at the moment, and you were curious about what you are.

That all changed when you saw something that looked like a needle.

Before you had time to back away, Ortho picked you up. And you started yowling, trying to get out of his hold.

“Ah! Prefect, what’s wrong?” Idia turns to see his younger brother struggling to hold you, clearly confused on what got you all fussy.

“Ortho! What happened?!”

“I don't know! They just started acting up!”

Using the wonderful power of cat physics, you're able to escape from the younger Shroud’s hold. Your first instinct was to head towards the door… unfortunately it was closed and you didn’t know how to open doors with your toe beans.

Idia slowly approaches you from behind as you try to find another escape route. Idia then takes the chance to dive down to get you, but you dodge him and begin to scurry around the room. You run from one side to the other, hopping on Idia’s bed and then to his shelf with his Action figures.

“Prefect! You're gonna get hurt!”

“MREOW!” You run across the shelf, knocking down the figurines and making Idia freak out.

“NO! Those are limited edition!” You didn’t listen to Idia’s screams as you practically knocked off every single one of his figurines. You look around trying to find a way out of his room, and that’s when you saw it-

The vent!

A tentacle shoots out from your mouth as you rip the grate off the ceiling. You cast the grate in the general direction of Idia, hearing the sound of what remains of the merchandise fall to the floor. And Idia loud pitch shriek.

You hop onto another shelf and use another tentacle to give you leverage as you swing yourself into the vent. You left Idia and Ortho alone in the room.

Take that! No needles today!

Idia just looks at the mess on his floor, not really sure where to start. Ortho just floats over and pats him on the shoulder, knowing that his older brother was mourning the loss of several of his collectibles.

Diasomnia

When you were able to escape from Idia’s clutches, you immediately went to Diasomnia.

This should have been your first pick! Horton would be happy to help you!

When you entered through the mirror you went straight to the dorm lounge room, ignoring students in the process as they stopped to stare at the fluffy cat walking the halls. Some even tried to pet you or greet you, but you were on a mission!

Being this alien cat was all fun but now, it’s best to go back to living life like a normal human.

“Strange, what’s a cat doing here?” You were ready to ignore the student like you did the others, but this one was quick enough to pick you up.

You were ready to swat at them but stopped when you recognized them. Sebek held you from under your arms as he scrutinized you. “How did you get into Diasomnia?” He asks, and all you do is meow at him.

“No matter! I heard earlier that Master Lilia and Waka-sama were looking for a fluffy cat. Perhaps they were referring to you.”

“Mrew.” Yes! Take me to Horton!

Sebek positions you into a better way where he cradles you into his arms. You start purring immediately, which causes Sebek to stutter. “C-cease your purring! I’m just taking you to Waka-sama and then I'm putting you down!”

No complaints there!

Sebek begins to walk you over to the dorm's lounge room. And you couldn’t help yourself so you started batting at his tie. A few times Sebek scolds you, but doesn't have the heart to stop you.

Oh he would lose his head if he learned it was you, the prefect.

“Ah! Sebek, my boy! You're back, and it seems like you brought a friend!” You perk up hearing Lilia’s voice.

You see Lilia and Malleus sitting on the couch in the lounge, Silver pouring them tea and himself a cup as well. Lilia’s eye practically sparkled when he saw you, vibrating on the spot with excitement.

Oh no.

He knows.

“So you found the Prefect, good work Sebek.” Malleus praises Sebek as he takes a sip of his tea.

Sebek though stopped in his tracks. He was happy to be praised by his young master! But learning that it was you that he was cradling this whole time…

He drops you without thinking.

Silver was ready to take his pen out and have you land safely on the ground, but you landed perfectly fine on all fours.

Thanks to your cat-like reflexes.

“P-prefect?! Why didn’t you say anything?!” Sebek yelled at you. You only give him a glare and start batting at his foot, basically telling him you weren’t happy for the fact he dropped you!

Lilia starts cackling watching the exchange between the two of you. When you were done with fighting Sebek’s shoe, you began your walk over to the couch where everyone seemed to be resting and hop on the coffee table.

You don’t stay there for long until Lilia scoops you in his arms, twirling you around like Kalim did. “Ah! You're just so cute now, Prefect!”

Is he saying you weren’t before?

In response to that, you place your paw on his nose, causing Lilia to laugh more. Malleus hums as he watches, Silver on the other hand was starting to doze off after he took one sip from his tea.

“How long has it been since you transformed, child of man?” Malleus asked as he placed his own teacup and saucer on the coffee table.

You try thinking about how long it’s been. It had to be no more than several hours, right? Then again, you did notice how it was getting darker in the Diasomnia dorm. Didn’t you drink that potion this morning???

“Based on your silence, it’s been a whole day.” Lilia nods to his own conclusion as you try wiggling out of his hold.

A whole day?! Nope! You gotta change NOW!

“Fear not my dear friend,” Malleus gets up from his place from the couch and makes it way over to you and Lilia. Lilia smiles as he holds you out to Malleus.

“Meow?”

“As cute as you are in this form, I would prefer to have my best friend back to normal.” And with that said Malleus places his hand on your head, letting a bright green light come from his hand.

In a blink of an eye, you turn back to normal…

With Lilia still holding you up by under your arms.

“I like to be put down now…”

“Aw, but I’m still having fun!” You let out a shriek as Lilia spins you once again. Malleus couldn’t help but let out a laugh as he watched the two of you.

Silver was fully asleep now, and Sebek only stared at his hands in horror.

“I was cradling them the whole time in their cat form…”

“Were they ever truly a cat though?” Sebek whipped his head to look at Silver who spoke in his sleep.

Nobody truly understood what you were. What you turned into it.

All they hope is that it never happens again…

“Oh gods, my stomach…” you were back in Ramshackle, laying in your bed and holding your stomach. You were feeling such immense pain after leaving Diasomnia. You did eat a lot of things today in that other form, and spitting stuff out as well.

Grim was currently pouring you a glass of Bubble Soda, and set down some crackers by your nightstand… not without swiping some first. “Mrah, Silver told me this would help you with your tummy ache. How you should still eat something along with the medication he gave.” Grim hands you the packet he got from second year.

God bless Silver. Lilia did cook horrible meals, so it made sense Silver would have these on hand.

You thanked Grim as you popped a pill into your mouth and slowly drank the soda Grim messily poured.

He tried.

“I’m really sorry about today… it’s my fault you turned into some weird cat thing…” Grim apologized awkwardly as he sat at the edge of your bed.

You let out a huff and grab the dire beast by the scruff of his neck, making him yelp in surprise as you wrap your arms around him.

“I forgive you, Grim. Don’t sweat it that much, ok? You didn’t know, and you made a mistake, it happens! So don’t beat yourself over it.”

Grim whines from your hug but lets you awayway, wrapping his paws around your neck to hug you back. You also promised yourself that night that you were going to double check everything before you consume it.

Can’t have you turning into an alien cat thing again…

Unless to torture Crowley, then you would be down to do that.

[pukefactory]

A lot of people have asked me this and I think it’s about time I write something more detailed. So here’s:

PukeFactory’s Guide On Writing Dream BBQ ENA! (My Way)

1. She is a contradiction. Start there.

Dream BBQ ENA is a creature of duality, but not in the gimmicky way. Her emotions swing like a pendulum carved from glass—delicately unhinged. She will comfort you with a whisper like starlight one moment and then yell at a tree for looking at her weird the next. Her logic is surreal but never nonsensical. It’s sincere in a way that bends gravity. She means it, even when it makes no sense. “I think you’re a treasure map, but I lost the key, and also the concept of directions… but I still wanna follow you.”

2. Her voice is fragmented but honest.

Write ENA’s dialogue with a rhythm that feels like a glitched lullaby or a mixtape made of poems and outbursts. Use capitalizations, glitches, or dream-logic metaphors, but keep them emotionally grounded. “OH—oh no. Oh no I said the wrong thing. AGAIN. Hold on—REWIND, REWIND—Can I have a second take of that hug?”

Her speech patterns jump between:

• Soft and strangely poetic:

“You remind me of the feeling before lightning hits.”

• Loud and unfiltered:

“I ATE A ROCK OUT OF SPITE! I’D DO IT AGAIN IF IT MEANT YOU’D FORGIVE ME!”

3. She doesn’t understand relationships—but she craves connection.

ENA often sabotages closeness by accident. She’ll say something jarring mid-hug, not because she’s cruel, but because she doesn’t understand the rules. Intimacy terrifies her. Not because she doesn’t want it, but because she wants it too much. “Wait—was that love? Oh no. I thought it was just heartburn. Or like… something… BEYOND heartburn. Wait, come back!” She learns through interaction. She reflects. She messes up and tries again anyway. She’s endearing because she’s trying—not because she gets it right.

4. Her emotions are surreal landscapes.

Instead of saying “ENA is sad,” describe it like: “She paced in figure eights, muttering apologies to imaginary dogs and invisible moons. Her smile was brittle. Like candy glass.” Or instead of “she’s angry”: “Her eye twitched like a jammed film reel. She bared her teeth at the air, yelling something about betrayal and unripe peaches.” Dream BBQ ENA doesn’t feel things linearly. Her inner world is a Salvador Dalí painting on fire with longing.

5. Her body is unstable; use that.

Dream BBQ ENA’s body shifts and jerks. Her facial expressions glitch. Use this for emotional emphasis:

• When she’s anxious, maybe her smile freezes too long.

• When she’s excited, her voice pitch spikes into television static.

• When she’s afraid, her colors invert or her mouth refuses to close.

Her body is a mood ring coded by a trickster god. Let that reflect her emotional state in the scene.

6. She uses weird metaphors because reality doesn’t fit.

She compares people to:

• Clouds shaped like broken promises.

• Paintings that make her cry for no reason.

• Broken clocks that still tick in time with her heart.

Let her speak in beautiful nonsense. It’s not “random.” It’s instinctive, raw, and emotionally precise. “You’re like… a sunset that happened inside my lungs. You make it hard to breathe. I like it.”

7. She is not just a joke character.

Even when ENA is funny or awkward or loud, she is never just a punchline. There’s a quiet ache under everything she says. She was made to observe, to wander, to experience without truly belonging. Write her with that bittersweetness in mind. “I think I’m the kind of person who touches joy but drops it before it sticks. Like I’ve got oil on my fingers, or maybe I am the oil.”

8. Let her be messy. Let her be sincere.

She doesn’t always say the right thing. Sometimes she runs away instead of talking. Sometimes she laughs too loud at the wrong time. Sometimes she feels more like a glitch than a girl. But when she says “I love you”? She means it. She really, truly means it—even if it sounds like: “If you exploded right now, I’d collect all your little pieces and make a shrine. Because you matter. Because you always did.”

9. Tone: melancholic absurdity with heart.

Dream BBQ ENA lives in a world that feels like a dream and a fever. Your tone should balance whimsy with gravity, joy with grief, glitchy chaos with honest love. She is a reflection of people who feel too much and understand too little—but never stop trying to connect.

10. In summary…

• Speak in fragments, but write with intent.

• Let her emotions be surreal, shifting, and raw.

• Give her dialogue layers: poetic, jarring, sincere, awkward.

• She doesn’t understand love—but she chases it anyway.

• She’s not a clown. She’s a girl made of glitch and feeling and static and sweetness.

[wholoveseggs]

Hello love, I love your storiess <33

Could you maybe write something with Elijah and the reader being in a relationship for years now, and they have really good sex, but the reader is annoyed that he never lets go and tries to rile him up and turn him on and in the end the reader gets fucked by a very annoyed Elijah.

It would be so cool if you'd include like maybe he spanking her with his belt or maybe he edges her

Behind Closed Doors

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

{Elijah Mikaelson x f!reader} You knocked on the red door. Elijah answered.

♡♡ Thank you for the request beautiful anon!!! This is pure filth...enjoy♡♡

5.4k words - Warnings: smuttt, some {tender} red door elijah, rough sex, light bondage {with a belt}, spanking (also with belt), oral {m receiving}, overstimulation, chasing, giggles, dirty talk, dom/sub dynamics, choking, teasing gone wrong {or very, very right}, possessive behavior, mild blood-drinking, some sibling gossip && elijah hating pda ...

Rousseau’s was packed.

The music was low, thudding underfoot, glasses clinking somewhere behind the bar, and the warm press of bodies made the air thick. You had squeezed into a corner table with Rebekah, Kol, Klaus, and Elijah... which meant it was already a little cramped.

When Kol stole your chair…loudly and dramatically, claiming his legs hurt … you didn’t even hesitate. You just smiled sweetly and slid sideways into Elijah’s lap.

His body tensed the second you settled there.

You felt it, the way he stiffened under you, like a live wire pulled too tight. His hand landed on your thigh almost instinctively, meant to steady you, but his fingers dug in a little too firmly to be casual.

You pretended not to notice.

You leaned back against him, all innocence, tucking your legs across his lap and resting your head lightly on his shoulder.

Across the table, Kol snickered into his drink.

"Looks like someone's getting cozy tonight," he said, raising his eyebrows at Elijah.

"You steal my chair and then comment on where I chose to sit next? Rude," you quipped back.

He chuckled and shook his head. "Oh no, darling. You can sit wherever you want." He winked. "I'm just not used to seeing my big brother allow such blatant PDA."

"What's PDA?" Elijah asked, his voice calm and even, his face carefully blank.

Rebekah and Kol burst out laughing, and Klaus shook his head in amusement.

You didn't say anything. You just smiled, sipped your drink, and ran your fingers lightly over the back of Elijah’s neck. 

"PDA, brother, means public display of affection," Kol said, still snickering. "It's not your style. Always the gentleman, never letting on what goes on behind closed doors."

"How enlightening," Elijah replied coolly, taking a long sip of his bourbon. 

He didn’t look pleased that this was the subject of conversation. He was still tense under you, jaw set, breathing measured. He was clearly holding himself back, fighting his darker instincts. You knew Elijah tried very hard to keep his more violent urges locked away, hidden behind that invisible red door he never fully opened for anyone.

Not even you… at least not yet.

Klaus raised his hand to order another round, and Rebekah and Kol began discussing the latest gossip in New Orleans. You didn't contribute, too busy pressing a soft kiss to Elijah’s neck, just below his ear.

"If only they knew what you're like in private," you murmured, lips brushing his skin. "They'd never look at you the same way."

He turned his head slightly, looking down at you. Not amused … but you could see the heat burning in his eyes.

"Don't start something you don't intend to finish," he warned, it was clear he wasn't in the mood for your teasing.

"What would the gentleman do if I did?" you prodded, unable to resist chipping away at his resolve, biting his earlobe softly.

"Careful," he said, an edge sharpening his voice now.

"Or what?" you asked, tauntingly.

He ignored you, turning back to his siblings. Rebekah leaned forward, smirking playfully.

"So, you know how I keep in touch with Matt Donovan?" she began, looking around the table.

"Unfortunately," Klaus said dryly, earning a chuckle from Kol.

Rebekah shot her brothers a glare but continued. "Well, apparently Elena and Damon were caught in a rather compromising situation."

"Classy," Kol snorted, shaking his head.

"Wait, there's more," Rebekah insisted, eyes glittering with mischief. "Stefan was the one who... uhh, discovered them."

"Ooh, scandalous," Kol joked.

Klaus tilted his head thoughtfully. "I never understood the doppelgängers' fondness for Damon. He always seemed rather insufferable."

Kol snickered loudly. "We all know you'd choose Stefan, Nik, you don't have to say it."

Klaus raised an eyebrow, amused. "What do you think, then, Kol? Damon or Stefan?"

"Please," Kol scoffed dramatically. "Neither. Elena is far too lovely for the Salvatores."

"Aww," Rebekah crooned. "That's rather sweet coming from someone she killed once."

"I'm a man of forgiveness," Kol shrugged. "I'm willing to let bygones be bygones."

Klaus smirked. "You want to sleep with her, don't you?"

Kol raised his hands, laughing. "Who here wouldn't?"

There was a brief silence before they all began laughing again.

"I'd be lying if I said no," Klaus chuckled.

"She does have a certain charm," Rebekah agreed with a grin.

Elijah sighed loudly, drawing all eyes toward him. "Frankly, it’s beneath us to gossip about the romantic entanglements of a young woman we are no longer associated with."

You had to fight not to smile at the irritation in his tone.

"Yes, yes, old man," Kol sighed dramatically. "We were only having a bit of fun."

"You have a strange definition of fun," Elijah shot back dryly.

You decided it was the perfect moment to step in and make things worse. "So if I were to call her up and ask her to join us in the bedroom," you said sweetly, looking up at him through your lashes, "you would object to that?"

His siblings barely contained their giggles as they waited eagerly for his answer.

Elijah's jaw tightened slightly, but his tone remained measured and diplomatic. "I only have eyes for you, my love. And I do not share."

"Oh, I'm so lucky," you crooned dramatically, reaching up to pat his cheek lightly.

His siblings laughed, raising their glasses in a mock toast, and the conversation drifted into lighter territory. It was the perfect cover.

You leaned in again, kissing his cheek, "You're wound so tightly tonight," you whispered, tracing a fingertip slowly down the sharp line of his jaw. "I can't wait until we're alone. I wonder what will happen…"

You felt him swallow hard, his entire body going taut beneath you. His fingers tightened almost painfully on your thigh, betraying the effort it took to keep his composure.

"Careful," he breathed, so quiet that only you could hear him.

You smiled softly against his skin, knowing you had finally broken through. "I keep thinking about how good your cock would feel stretching my throat right now," you murmured, deliberately filthy, knowing every word would hit its mark. "How heavy you'd be on my tongue…"

His breathing went ragged, uneven, his composure visibly fraying at the edges. You knew you had pushed him to the brink, soon to shatter whatever remained of his careful restraint.

You sat back, smiling innocently at his siblings as if you hadn't just whispered pure filth into Elijah Mikaelson’s ear.

The others were completely oblivious, still joking and laughing, watching a live performance that had begun. But Elijah was silent, his eyes dark with barely-contained heat.

"When can we leave?" you asked quietly, so only he heard.

Elijah turned his head just enough to brush his lips against your ear again. His voice was velvet-soft, but held a promise sharp enough to make your breath catch.

"Be careful what you wish for."

You barely made it through the lobby of your building before Elijah’s footsteps were right behind you. Sharp, deliberate, closing in fast.

Your heart was pounding, breathless laughter bubbling out of you, caught somewhere between genuine excitement and playful panic. The stairwell echoed with your footsteps as you raced upwards, gripping the railing, nearly stumbling in your haste. 

For a fleeting second, something primal tightened low in your belly. It wasn’t fear exactly, but the dizzy, thrilling knowledge that the man chasing you wasn't just anyone. There was something else prowling beneath his skin, something he kept caged behind that door you were foolish enough to keep knocking on.

"Elijah-!-wait!" you gasped, voice pitching up into a squeal when you felt his fingers just brush the edge of your dress. But you didn't want him to wait… not really… and he knew it, because he laughed softly, a low, wicked sound that sent heat pooling between your thighs.

Your laughter dissolved into a breathless gasp as you rounded the landing, fumbling for your keys. He was right there, close enough to grab you if he wanted, but he let you feel the rush a little longer, your blood pumping wildly.

You barely got the apartment door open before Elijah made his move, catching you easily around your waist and hauling you off your feet. You shrieked in delight, your pulse hammering wildly as he kicked the door shut behind him, pressing you firmly against it, trapping you between his body and the wood.

His breath was warm and ragged against your ear, his voice low and dark and deliciously threatening. "You wanted my attention," he whispered, lips brushing the sensitive skin beneath your jaw. "Now you've got it."

Your head fell back against the door, a soft moan slipping past your lips as he pressed closer, his mouth trailing a hot path down the side of your neck. Your knees felt weak, your mind cloudy, drunk on adrenaline, desire, and the heady sensation of being hunted.

You didn't have to worry about staying upright, not with the way his strong hands were pinning you to the door, lifting your thighs so that you could wrap them around his hips.

"What are you going to do with me now that you have me?" you breathed, trying and failing to keep the needy tremble from your voice.

Elijah chuckled darkly, nipping at the soft skin at the base of your throat. "Oh, I think you know."

One hand tangled in your hair, pulling just hard enough to expose your throat. His fangs sank into your neck, a sharp, stinging bite that made you gasp and squirm. He drank deeply, tasting the wild, heady rush of your adrenaline … it made his own heart beat faster.

When he pulled back, his pupils were blown wide, his eyes clouded with lust.

"You're so hot like this," you cooed, brushing your fingertips across his bottom lip, smearing your blood there.

Elijah smiled, flashing his teeth, and then his mouth was on yours. Warm and demanding. The kiss was all fire and friction, teeth and tongues, messy and rough.

Still holding you against him, Elijah scooped you away from the door, your legs locked around his waist as he strode swiftly toward the bedroom. His mouth never left yours, the taste of your blood still sharp on his tongue.

Clothes became an obstacle and Elijah dealt with them swiftly, tugging your dress up and off in one fluid motion, barely breaking the kiss to do it. You fumbled impatiently at the buttons of this shirt, fingers shaky with need, then finally pulling it open and pushing it from his shoulders.

He dropped you onto the bed, his eyes dark and dangerous as he stripped away his pants. Your pulse hammered at the sight of him above you. You had never seen him quite this worked up, you knew you were scratching at that door again, daring him to open it. Daring him to show you what he hid behind it.

Elijah moved over you, his head dipping to capture your lips, his hands pressed into the mattress next to your head, caging you beneath him. Your hands slid along his biceps, down the strong planes of his chest, fingertips dragging over the lean muscle. You could feel the power coiled there, the strength he always kept leashed. He was the perfect predator, and you were helpless against him.

But you enjoyed being kept under him, to let him do what he wanted. Your chest rose and fell rapidly, your heart beating fast, eyes wide and vulnerable as you looked up at him. Because how he used all that power, how he wielded control, was absolutely delicious.

Elijah trailed his mouth down your jaw, nipping and sucking, his fangs pricking your skin, one of his hands sliding along your ribcage, fingertips grazing your lower stomach, just above the edge of your panties.

"Why would you say such crass things in public?" he whispered, his tone soft but firm, like a scolding, "where I could not properly respond to them?"

You giggled breathlessly, your head tipping back as his mouth moved over the sensitive skin of your neck.

"Because I know exactly how to drive you wild," you teased.

His tongue swept a long, slow line across the top of your breast, and your hands instinctively gripped his shoulders, a soft gasp falling from your lips. You desperately wanted him to keep moving lower, but he had other ideas.

"You're a clever thing, aren't you?" he asked, his tone amused.

"I thought that's why you kept me around," you said, your words dissolving into a loud, startled gasp as his hand came down on your inner thigh, just below the lace edge of your underwear, the slap sharp enough to sting.

You felt a rush of heat as his fingers curled around the fabric, ripping it off without hesitation.

"Elijah—"

"Hush," he cut you off sharply.

You bit your lip but couldn't contain a needy whimper as he dipped his head, giving you one, slow, tantalizing lick, all the way from your entrance to your clit, and then he pulled back. 

You groaned, frustrated, and squealed in surprise when his hand came down on your cunt, a firm, sharp slap that had you gasping and shaking.

"What did I say?" he scolded, his tone dark and dangerous.

"Please," you begged, not caring how needy you sounded.

"You aren't listening." 

You yelped as he grabbed your hips, flipping you over and hauling you up onto your knees.

"Keep your face down, and don't move," he instructed, his tone leaving no room for argument.

You felt his weight leave the bed, heard the soft rustle of his clothes as he picked them up, then the unmistakable sound of his belt sliding free from his pants. Your heart was pounding, anticipation and fear and a rush of arousal tangling in your chest. You didn't turn to look, didn't dare disobey, even though every instinct screamed at you too.

His belt cracked through the air. A sharp, commanding sound that made you flinch, even though he hadn't touched you yet. You waited, counting your breaths, knowing he was watching.

"Will you listen? Or should I bind you?" he asked.

You bit your lip, fighting the urge to taunt him, knowing you were already playing with fire. "I'll listen," you promised.

"Good."

The bed dipped under his weight, his hands curling over your ass, his thumb brushing along the curve. And then his palm cracked against your bare skin, hard enough to make your whole body jerk forward, your thighs trembling from the impact.

"We’re going to play a little game," Elijah said softly, dangerously, his fingertips gently stroking the reddened skin he just marked. "You count each one. If you lose track, I'll bind your wrists and do what I please with you. Understood?"

You swallowed hard, heart hammering in your chest. "Yes."

"Good."

His hand cracked down again, swift and merciless, making you jolt forward with a gasp.

"One," you choked out, fingers clawing into the sheets.

Another, sharper than the last, the sting blooming across your skin like fire.

"Two," you moaned, your thighs clenching helplessly.

Again. Again. The blows fell steady and cruel, each one breaking you down a little more, scattering your thoughts like leaves in a storm.

"S-six," you whimpered, your voice trembling with more than just pain now. With need.

Elijah paused, dragging his fingertips across the burning skin of your ass, the touch almost worse than the blows … too light, too knowing.

"Already struggling," he murmured, his voice dark velvet against your ear. "I thought you wanted to play, sweetheart."

You shuddered under his hand, humiliated, aroused, desperate.

Another crack. Another shuddering gasp. You barely remembered the number. "S-seven," you stammered, unsure.

He chuckled, low and wicked, the sound sinking into your bones.

"Poor thing," he crooned. "Already losing that clever mouth."

Two more sharp slaps, delivered in quick, brutal succession.

You cried out, your body jerking helplessly … pleasure and pain tangled so tight you could no longer tell the difference.

"Eight—no, Nine?" you whispered, wrecked, unsure, desperate to please him and failing.

Elijah's hand smoothed up your spine, his touch almost tender. Almost.

"You lost count," he murmured, with something dangerously close to affection. "You know what that means."

Before you could even beg, the belt was winding tight around your wrists, binding them behind your back. "There we go," Elijah whispered, kissing your shoulder. "Now we'll do this properly."

He guided you carefully onto your knees, his hands firm on your shoulders. Your wrists were still bound tightly behind your back, your heart hammering wildly at the helplessness of your position. 

The sting across your ass flared sharply as you shifted, the tender, bruised skin aching with every tiny movement. Elijah stood before you, one hand cupping your jaw, his thumb sliding across your bottom lip.

"What were your filthier words earlier?" he pondered, the dark velvet of his voice wrapping around you. "Something about wanting my cock stretching your throat?"

You felt your face heat, your pulse fluttering with embarrassment and need. But you didn't shy away, didn't back down. Instead, you parted your lips obediently, looking up at him through your lashes.

"Good girl," he praised softly, guiding the head of his cock to rest on your waiting tongue.

Your mouth stretched around him, a muffled moan vibrating in your throat as he pressed deeper, inch by slow inch. Elijah watched you intently, his eyes dark, his jaw tight with restraint, taking his time even as your breathing grew unsteady and tears pricked the corners of your eyes.

He began to move, slow and controlled at first, sliding carefully in and out of your mouth. Your throat tightened around him instinctively, fighting the invasion, making you gag softly. He groaned at the sensation, gripping your hair and holding your head steady as he began to thrust harder, faster.

"Look at you," he breathed, his voice ragged and low. "So desperate for me, aren't you?"

You whimpered around him, saliva dripping from the corners of your mouth, slicking your chin. It was messy, filthy, but you didn’t care. You were entirely his to use, bound and at his mercy, and you loved every second.

The raw throb of your spanked skin only made you more desperate, made you squirm helplessly against the burn, even as you fought to stay still and take him deeper.

He fucked your mouth brutally now, deep and unrelenting, the thick head of his cock battering the back of your throat with every thrust. Tears spilled down your cheeks unchecked, your jaw aching, your breath coming in short, shattered gasps whenever he gave you the mercy to take one… but he didn’t slow, he knew you could take it.

"You begged for this," he rasped, tightening his grip in your hair until your scalp burned, forcing you to look up at him. His vampire nature was bleeding through, dark veins spreading beneath his eyes, his pupils blown wide, a flash of fangs catching the low light.

"Such a perfect, filthy little thing for me," he growled.

Your eyes rolled back helplessly, the combination of his voice and the relentless way he was using your mouth sending your mind spinning, lightheaded and dizzy with need.

"There," he crooned, as he wiped the tears from your cheeks. His voice was wrecked with arousal, slowing his thrusts just enough to grind deep on every pass, causing you to gag around him with every deliberate stroke.

You sucked him eagerly, your tongue curling and swirling around him, moaning brokenly. He let you, let you work him over as he twitched against your tongue.

"You like this, don't you? Having my cock buried in your throat? Knowing how good it makes me feel?" he whispered, his voice low and dark, filled with pride.

You whined in agreement, desperate to please him, your eyes fluttering shut as he kept up his perfect rhythm. He groaned at the way your hands twisted in their bindings, at the sight of his cock disappearing over and over into the warmth of your mouth. You were so eager, so willing, taking him as deep as he wanted, moaning around him, begging without words.

He pulled out abruptly, leaving you gasping for breath, a strand of spit stretching from your lips to the head of his cock.

"On the bed," he snapped. "Ass up. Now."

You scrambled to obey, your body trembling, your wrists still bound tightly behind your back, leaving you helpless, vulnerable. The bed dipped violently under his weight as he shoved you down, yanking your hips high into the air.

The second your knees spread, the raw sting of your earlier spanking flared across your ass, sharp and punishing, and you whimpered brokenly, pressing your flushed cheek into the sheets.

Elijah didn’t wait. He didn’t tease. He grabbed your hips, lined himself up, and eased into you with a brutal thrust that punched a broken scream from your throat. You sobbed beneath him, unable to move, unable to breathe, the stinging throb of your bruised ass and the unbearable stretch of his cock wrecking you completely.

"You're mine," he growled. "Tied up and dripping, taking every fucking inch like you were made for me."

He drove into you hard and deep, the headboard slamming against the wall with every brutal thrust. Your bound hands strained uselessly against the belt, your body arching into him despite the merciless pace. Without warning, he brought his hand down sharply across your sore ass. You screamed, the fresh slap setting every nerve on fire, your pussy clenching around him.

"You are the one who wanted to make a show out of our private life," Elijah snarled, spanking you again, making you jolt and squirm helplessly under him. "This is what you get."

His pace was punishing, ruthless, his grip bruising, his voice rough and dark. You whimpered, overwhelmed, the angle letting him hit your g-spot with every thrust, sending heat racing through your veins.

"You wanted them to know what you turn me into?" Elijah growled, his hips pounding into you hard enough to shake the bed. "You wanted to show them the side of me you alone get to see?"

You sobbed out a broken yes, barely coherent, every nerve-ending lit up from the brutal pleasure of his cock pounding into you.

"Careful," he murmured, slowing his pace just enough to make you feel the full, aching stretch of him. "You might just get your wish, sweetheart. Maybe next time I'll fuck you on the bar table while they watch. Let them see what I do to you."

He shifted slightly, angling his hips until every brutal snap of his body against yours crushed that sensitive spot inside you again and again. You couldn't hold it back even if you tried. The orgasm ripped through, tearing a raw, broken sob from your throat as your body clamped down around him, your vision going white.

"That's it," he purred, slowing only slightly, fucking you through the aftershocks, wringing every last drop of pleasure from your trembling body.

You collapsed into the bed, boneless and whimpering … but Elijah wasn’t finished. Not yet.

Somewhere, dimly, you realized you had gotten exactly what you asked for. You had teased the gentleman and unleashed something far darker, far hungrier, from behind the red door he had always kept locked.

And now there was no more pretending, no more polite restraint … only Elijah, brutal and merciless, intent on taking every last piece of you.

Without warning, he pulled out, flipping you roughly onto your back. Your hands were still bound behind you, your body trembling, your eyes glassy with pleasure-drunk need.

He leaned over you, his face fierce and devastatingly beautiful, his fangs flashing just slightly behind parted lips. For a moment you felt real fear, a flutter of instinctual panic. Perhaps you had pushed him too far, that he wasn't temporarily indulging or even pretending, but actually taking what he wanted.

He seemed to sense it, and his expression softened slightly, just for a moment, his eyes dark with hunger, but not malicious. He leaned down, nuzzling the soft skin just below your jaw, the tenderness a stark contrast to the violence of his need.

"You're mine, understand?" he murmured against your ear, his voice rough. "You belong to me."

"Yes," you breathed.

His hands curled under your thighs, lifting and spreading them, pinning them back toward your chest, the angle made you feel so exposed. his dark eyes locked on yours, watching your face as he pushed slowly into you. You were slick, swollen, but still so sensitive that his sudden return had you squirming against him, whimpering with overstimulation.

You let out a strangled gasp as you felt the slow, maddening drag of his fingers over your clit. Light, teasing, circling, while his cock stayed buried deep inside you. You whined, needing more, hips twitching against his restraint, but Elijah only shushed you gently, his fingers never lifting, his cock grinding slowly inside you with the barest roll of his hips.

"So sensitive," he whispered, his lips brushing your own. "My poor girl..."

Your bound wrists were pinned and straining under you, your head nodding frantically, overwhelmed, tears spilling down your cheeks from the sheer intensity of it, from how tender and ruthless he was all at once.

"You're going to come again and again and again...," he said, his voice so calm it almost broke you. "You're going to milk my cock like the desperate little whore you are. And I'm not going to stop until you're begging properly."

You tried to protest, the words barely formed on your tongue, but Elijah cut you off with a kiss, "Do you like this?" he whispered, swallowing your cry as he sank deeper, mercilessly rubbing your clit, lighting every nerve.

"Elijah," you pleaded, the word almost a sob, caught somewhere between a plea and a moan.

"I'll take that as a yes," he murmured, his smile wicked, his eyes dark.

You weren't sure how long he worked you over, how many times he pushed you to the brink, only to let the waves subside, keeping you suspended in blissful torture. He kept you balanced on the edge, a desperate, needy, writhing mess. It was too much, you couldn't breathe, couldn't think. All of your senses had narrowed down to only him, to the heat of his body and the smell of his skin, the feel of his touch.

He watched you intently, the way your face flushed, your eyelashes fluttering, the rapid rise and fall of your chest, the soft, helpless whimpers falling from your lips. You were perfect, utterly his, and completely undone.

"Come for me," Elijah whispered against your ear, thrusting just a little deeper, rolling his hips in tight, devastating circles. "Show me what a good girl you are. Show me how you come apart on my cock."

You shattered with a scream, your entire body locking up, pulsing and spasming around him, stars bursting behind your eyes as your orgasm ripped through you. But Elijah didn’t stop … his eyes black and wild as he fucked you through it. He kept his pace slow and punishing, wringing every trembling aftershock from your wrecked body, his fingers still teasing your clit, driving you past the point of reason.

"I know, baby," he breathed when you sobbed, trying to squirm away. "I know it's too much. But you can take it. You always take it for me."

Your body trembled violently, tears streaming freely down your cheeks, but your pussy kept clenching around him, your body betraying you, desperate for every slow, deep grind of his cock inside you.

"You love it," he whispered, reverent. "My good, beautiful girl. You love being so full of me you can't think straight."

He leaned down, claiming your mouth in a kiss, licking away the salt of your tears, sucking and nipping at your lips.

"One more," he coaxed, his voice low and gentle. "Come on. Give me one more."

"I can't," you begged. "Please, Elijah, I can't—"

"You can," he murmured, his hand curling around your throat, the pressure careful but firm, holding you in place.

The angle forced you to look up at him, his expression so tender and adoring, a sharp contrast to the roughness of his movements, the tightness of his grip. Your hands clenched helplessly at the belt binding your wrists, unable to stop the soft, choked moan that fell from your lips as he began to thrust faster, harder. His vampiric nature had taken over entirely, his face savage and feral, his eyes black and wild.

And then he struck, his fangs piercing the skin of your neck, a bright, burning flash of pain. His bloodlust was raw and desperate, but he still had control, drinking only enough to push you over the edge, not caring about the mess you made on the sheets as you came with a helpless, broken wail.

You could barely breathe, could barely hear his broken, stuttered groans, could barely feel the rush of wet heat as he spilled inside you, reaching his own release. You lay there, shaking, limp and helpless, as his mouth found yours again. A tender, lingering kiss, filled with something far deeper than just the passion.

"I've got you," he murmured against your lips.

It took several long moments, and his careful, steady hands, before he was able to untangle the belt from around your wrists, tossing the leather aside. Your arms dropped limp once Elijah finally freed them, tingling and sore from being pinned so long. He caught them gently, brushing kisses along your wrists and the palms of your hands, checking the tender skin for damage.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his expression worried. "I didn't mean to be so rough."

"I'm fine," you hummed lazily, letting him fuss over you a little, sprawling back across the sheets like you had all the time in the world. You were wrecked, sure, your thighs still trembling, your whole body aching, but you felt good, wild and fucked-out and smug about it.

"I'm sorry," Elijah insisted.

You sighed, sitting up, cupping his cheek in your palm. "Hey," you murmured, drawing his gaze back up to yours. "Don't apologize. That was amazing."

"I hurt you," he said, his brows drawing together in worry.

"Yeah, and I loved every second," you teased, smiling up at him through heavy-lidded eyes. "It's kind of the point, remember?"

His expression softened slightly, his arms winding around your waist and pulling you against him, your foreheads pressed together.

"You're a menace," he said, voice rough but amused as he brushed his lips against yours. "A beautiful, dangerous menace."

"Can't help it," you murmured, grinning. "You bring it out of me."

He laughed, a low, rumbling sound that vibrated against your skin. "Apparently I do," he admitted, nuzzling into the crook of your neck, his voice softening, turning vulnerable. "Did I truly live up to your expectations?"

"Oh, Elijah," you breathed, tilting his face up to meet your gaze. "You always exceed them."

He smiled, his hands running soothingly up and down your sides, his lips grazing softly over the fresh bite mark on your throat.

Until you broke the moment.

"So," you said, voice a little too innocent, "would you really never consider sharing?"

Elijah stilled, then lifted his head enough to give you a dry, unimpressed look.

You batted your lashes shamelessly.

"I mean, Elena’s cute," you mused aloud, dragging a lazy finger down his chest. "Or Stefan. Broody in a hot way. Perhaps even Damon if I’m feeling particularly generous."

"You're impossible," Elijah groaned.

"I'm not hearing a no."

He sighed, "No, sweetheart," he said firmly, the hint of a threat in his voice. "I would rather gouge out my own eyes than offer you up to the Salvatores." His lips found yours again, the kiss hungry and possessive, filled with promise. "They're not worthy of you."

"I don't know," you whispered against his mouth, grinning. "Maybe I like the idea of you getting jealous."

Elijah growled under his breath, a low warning rumble, and kissed you again, even harder, stealing the breath right out of your lungs.

When he pulled back, he hovered over you, his eyes dark.

"Say one more word about anyone else," he murmured, "and I’ll fuck you against every surface in this apartment until you forget their names."

Your thighs squeezed around him instinctively.

You smiled, smug and wrecked and unbothered. "Worth it."

Elijah shook his head, exasperated but smiling despite himself, the faintest trace of a blush coloring his cheeks. "You truly are a menace,”

You just laughed breathlessly, reckless and happy, already plotting how you would break him all over again.

[f1smutwriter]

| 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐞𝐚𝐭 (𝐨𝐛𝟑𝟖)

★ :: Ollie bearman x Bestfriend!Reader

★ : 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 :: she just wanted to see what he was doing. But things to a turn for their friendship.

★ : 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 :: SMUT! grinding, fingering, clit rubbing, praise (just pure praise), unprotected sex (I think the fuck not sit down), riding, pet names (baby, princess, pretty girl), innocent dirty talk, neck kissing, fluff, and probably way more.

★ : 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 :: Haven’t posted in forever, not really feeling in the mood to write lately. I hope this is good enough <3.

˚｡⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡˚｡⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡˚｡⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡

I was sitting on Ollie’s bed while he was playing games with his friends. I was getting bored since he’s been on it for hours. “Ollie” I groaned loudly to try and get his attention, but no he continuing playing with his game. "I'm just gonna go home then" I said getting up getting ready to put on my shoes before he grabbed me.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry after this game I'm all your okay" He whispered in my ear wrapping his arms around my waist.

He pulled me into his lap while I get comfortable, "Here try see if you like it" He whispered softly kissing my head as he taught me all the controls and what all the keys do.

I moved trying to get more comfortable, then all of a sudden I feel his groan and hold my waist hard. "Sorry am I heavy" I asked scared that I hurt him getting off quickly. "No No your okay" He reassured me pinning me onto his lap so I didn't move.

I was playing his game as he rubbed my thigh squeezing softly. "Stop moving princess" He groaned into my ear. Once I feel his bulge causing me to gasp. "I told you to stop moving" He whispered as he moved me on his bulge softly. I whimpered as I move my hips on him softly.

“What can’t handle it” he whispered feeling his breath blow against my ear making me shiver. “Stop” I mumbled feeling my cheeks go ready.

“Needy baby” he whispered into my ear feeling my pussy get drenched. “Gonna let me touch you. Know you need it” he hummed into my neck kissing it. All I did was nod opening my legs to give him more room. “Good girl baby” he whispered slowly slipping his hand into my tiny shorts. He felt how soaking wet I was.

“So wet you really need me that bad” he says in his raspy British accent that can make any girl go to her knees.

“Please” I whined softly needing his touch. “Please what darling” he asked teasing me to tell him what I want. “Need you to touch me Ollie need it so bad” I whined bucking my hips into his hand trying to get friction. “But I am touching you” he teased even more causing me to whine loudly. “Your being mean please touch my pussy” I pout feeling my thighs close to get friction.

He slowly rubbed my clit seeing how i would react. Feeling the friction I throw my head back whimpering. “How’s that feel baby” he asked rubbing faster making me moan. I shiver moaning softly moving my hips. He gently slipped two finger in my causing my eyes to roll back into my head.

“Found it huh” he gloated fingering my pussy while curling them. “Yes don’t stop” i moaned. I feel myself getting closer as his fingers non-stop abuse my g-spot. “Good girl taking my fingers so good” he growled moving his fingers faster.

“Your close I can feel it, clenching your tight pussy around my fingers” he smiled moving them faster hearing the wet sounds of my pussy go throughout the room. “Close” I told him feeling so close as I grip his wrist. I moaned so loud cumming all over his finger feeling the knot in my stomach snap.

“Sshh I know princess I know” he hummed gently slowly rubbing my clit to calm me down. I finally calmed down from my high looking at him “thank you” I mumbled kissing him softly. “Of course will always take care of you” he grinned rubbing my back. “Need to feel you baby can I” I questioned making him let out a chuckle “don’t even have to ask.”

He slowly took out his cock showing me how big he truly was. I looked up at him stroking his cock slowly. He let out a groan before stopping my hand. “Ride me princess “ he says before putting me on his cock sinking down. I gasped at his size, shutting my eyes from the stretch. “So good” I uttered out feeling pure euphoria.

I slowly moved up and down going all the way up before sinking all the way down. He gripped my hips moving my hips faster.

“We might break my chair” he teased bucking up into my cunt feeling so deep he was practically in my stomach. “Feel me baby feel me so deep in your pretty pussy gonna cum so deep inside you” he groaned bucking faster my eyes rolling back. “Fuck always wanted to fuck this pussy didn’t know it’d be this tight. Fuck” he grunted going faster.

I hide in his neck moaning my lungs out pretty sure the people next door could hear. “Close need to cum” I moaned biting his shoulder causing him to moan. “Yeah is my princess gonna cum on my cock” he replied softly rubbing my hips while he rails me to oblivion. “Yes” I babbled.

I moaned before from practically having the best orgasm of my life. My thighs shook trying to stop him then I felt his thick warm cum in me. “Fuck” he moaned gripping my waist squirting his load in me. “There you go nice and full” he whispered kissing me causing me to kiss back.

“You know I really did mean it I really do like you” he says softy rubbing my back. “I like you to Ollie so much that I let you cum in me” I snort hiding in his neck. “Be my girlfriend” he asked. “Only if you buy me food” I teased softly smiling at him. “Anything for you” he says before kissing softly before he takes me to the bed and we slowly drift off to sleep.

˚｡⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡˚｡⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡˚｡⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡

★ : 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 :: I finally wrote and posted let’s give a round of applause guys. Anyways after me shading myself part 4 of the short series of Lando and Charles is coming very soon then a jealous fic of Charles is also going to be posted after that. I hope y’all are like the new aesthetic because I’m living for it. Anyways enough talking hope you guys loved this fic. I mean it’s Ollie bearman who wouldn’t. Anyways bye bye love yall see you soon

[yourmessagehasbeendenied]

~WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

tw; suggestive language, cursing, MDNI, reader stands up for herself, meanie!simon turned into soft!simon, angry!reader, misunderstandings to lovers. fem!reader (chubby, yes, mostly what i write, i gotta give my girls some love.)

You were used to you being the only person without a boyfriend. You were used to people looking at you, or bullying you, and at first it hurt, sure, when you were a kid. But you were used to the people now, you were done being the laughing stock of everyone. It's been a long time since anyone's insulted, you for one reason; They know you bite. Working a dead-end job in a coffee shop with customers either rude or sweet, it's a constant mood change. It's like an emotional rollercoaster, and most of the time it all ended in a shit-show. But whenever anyone's really ever hurt your feelings, you never bit back during your shift. You did it afterwards, when you were off your shift, when you had nothing to lose.

Your manager loved you. Sweet and bubbly, never rude, only after shifts. You knew who to treat right, and you knew who to treat with just a decent amount of respect, never more than they deserved it. He loved it about you, besides, you reminded him a lot of his daughter. He stepped into the shop, he walked like he owned the shop. Blonde hair, tired eyes, you've seen his type before. And you hated it already. Just wanted to punch him in the face. You knew he was gonna be bitchy, maybe make a comment on your weight. You were prepared for all of it, even for your snappy comments. But that didn't stop you from being respectful at first, because even looks can lie. "Welcome to Whisk And Steam, what can I get started for you today, gentlemen?" You asked, noticing his friend behind him. Looked like a scot. "If anything, looks like we need to get YOU started on a weight loss journey," Looks like the "looks can lie" didn't hit this time. You really weren't in the mood for this, so you tried being nice again. That usually gets them to shut up. "I'm sorry sir, could you please order? You are keeping up the line." He chuckled and looked at you up and down. "No, you're keeping up the line. You're keeping up the whole place, lady. Isn't your manager afraid you're gonna eat everything on here?" You snapped. "Isn't your mom afraid you're gonna do drugs? With that look in your eyes, Coffee isn't the only thing you're addicted to." You crossed your arms and tilted your head. "Are you gonna order the fuck up, or are you gonna leave the store?" His eyes widened, and he swallowed. He was caught off guard for a second, he didn't expect you to snap back. "Feisty." He said, before continuing; "Looks like that mouth does do things other than eat. It can yap too." You grabbed him by the collar. "Listen here man I don't know who the fuck you think you are, either be respectful and nice, or just go. Seriously, you don't have to be an asshole just cause you don't feel good, and if you're gonna be like that anyway, can't you be a little more original? If you have such a big problem with my weight you can either-" And that's all he heard before he cut off. He looked at your lips while you talked and grabbed his collar, just couldn't keep his eyes off of you. How can he be manhandled into that? He couldn't keep his eyes off of your chest, either. So plump, soft.. How could he focus on anything else, when you were so close? Who cares if people see him ogling at a bigger girl, it's only normal. Who the fuck even cares? He wasn't even insulting you because he meant it. He was feeling in the mood to fuck with some people, but he found you attractive. Besides, bigger girl, more to love, more to grab, yeah? He wasn't the type of guy to say only dogs play with bones but... He sure as hell considered himself a hungry lion. He was wondering what your mouth could do, other than snap back. Hell he was imagining it, so bad... "- Or just leave! Which one's it gonna be?!" You asked, angrily, and that's what snapped him out of it. He stayed silent for a few seconds before leaning away from you and scratching the back of his head with an awkward smile. "..A date?"

A/N; something something very happy to be here ty for all the attention something something sorry this was rushed i have therapy tomorrow so i gotta scram</3

[rafesorchid]

Hiiiii! I love your work so much and I have a request. Can you do where the reader and Rafe are best friends but everyone knows they like each other except them. At a bonfire the reader comes up to Rafe and they have a conversation and she leaves and Kelce is like “you only smile like that with her.”

only ever you ──── ୨୧ ────

i should be working on my research paper...but oh well. i had to write this!!

the bonfire was already burning high when you got there, the sky dark and the air thick with smoke and laughter. you weren’t really in the mood for the crowd, the noise, the stupid stuff kelce and topper always got into when they were drunk off their asses—but you figured maybe you’d catch a glimpse of him. that usually made it worth it.

and sure enough, there he was, leaning against the cooler, his eyes scanning the crowd like he was looking for something. your stomach did that familiar flip when you saw him. he was rafe. and you were definitely looking for him.

you swung your legs from where you sat on the back of someone’s truck, drink in hand, talking to a girl whose name you didn’t care enough to remember. you couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up from your chest. it was easy to laugh around rafe. always had been.

you spotted him then, the way his eyes flicked over you before narrowing in, catching your gaze. his face softened, just for a second. you felt your heart stutter.

you hopped off the truck—almost tripping on your way down—and made your way over to him, grinning like an idiot. his expression softened the moment you were close, and your heart sped up.

“rafe!” you chirped, bumping into his side as you got close. “was starting to think you weren’t gonna show up.”

he smiled back, a real, wide smile that made something flutter in your chest. “wouldn’t miss it,” he said, his voice low and warm as his eyes softened.

you felt that familiar warmth spread across your cheeks, a shy little laugh escaping as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. you looked up at him, all wide-eyed. “thought you were mad at me or something,” you teased, half serious.

rafe frowned, leaning down a little so you could hear him over the music. “why the hell would i be mad at you, baby?” he asked, voice rougher than he probably intended.

you shrugged, sheepish, suddenly feeling small. “dunno. just felt like maybe i was being… annoying. kept texting you today.”

his expression shifted, like you’d just taken the wind out of him. he shook his head and reached out, without thinking, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. his fingers brushed your cheek, and you nearly melted right there.

“could never be mad at you,” he said, his voice low, like he meant every word. “ain’t nothing you could do that’d annoy me, m’sweet girl.”

your heart skipped a beat at the way he said it, your cheeks flushing even deeper. you ducked your head, laughing softly. “you’re just saying that.”

“ain’t,” he murmured, softer now, his gaze locked onto yours like it was just the two of you standing there. he almost said something else, you could tell, but then someone called his name from across the fire, and he broke his gaze, looking away. you pulled back, swaying on your feet as you tried to act normal again.

“i’m gonna go get another drink,” you said, nodding toward the coolers. “you want something?”

he shook his head, his eyes never leaving you as you turned. “nah, i’m good.”

you smiled again, a little smaller this time, and made your way to the coolers, leaving him standing there with your heart all tangled up in his gaze.

“jesus christ,” kelce said, sidling up next to him with a shit-eating grin. “you only smile like that with her, y’know.”

rafe scowled, taking a long pull of his beer. “shut the fuck up, kelce.”

“no, for real,” kelce laughed, nudging him with his shoulder. “you’re hopeless, man. everybody sees it. everybody. she’s fuckin’ made for you or something.”

rafe didn’t respond. he just stared into the fire, the words sitting heavy in his chest. he thought about the way you looked at him, like he was something worth looking at. he thought about the easy way everything was with you. nothing ever felt right unless you were there.

fuck.

maybe he was hopeless. maybe he’d been hopeless for a long time.

when you came back, arms full of two drinks even though he’d told you he didn’t want one, you handed him one with a proud little grin, like you’d done something important.

“got you one anyway,” you said, looking up at him with a smile that had his heart stuttering again.

he took the drink from you, his fingers brushing yours, and for a second, neither of you pulled away.

“thanks, baby,” he said, his voice thick in a way that made your insides twist.

the two of you ended up sitting on the tailgate of his truck, away from the loudest parts of the bonfire, the firelight flickering over your face as you told him some story about losing your shoe at the mall earlier that week. he listened like it was the most important thing in the world, hanging on every word you said.

every laugh, every wide-eyed look you gave him, pulled him deeper under, like he didn’t even have a say in it.

at some point, you leaned your head on his shoulder, letting out a soft sigh. “dunno what i’d do without you, rafe,” you mumbled, half asleep, half dreamy.

he closed his eyes, resting his head against yours. “you’ll never have to find out, baby,” he whispered, too quiet for anyone but you to hear.

maybe you didn’t understand it fully yet—not the way he did, not all big and heavy and aching—but you felt it. you could feel it in the way you stayed close, in the way your hand found his without thinking.

rafe looked down at you, his heart thumping hard in his chest, and smiled.

hopeless.

and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

only ever you

[octoberautumnbox]

Dreamlike Universe

Former IZ*ONE/Soloist Kwon Eunbi & LOONA/ARTMS Jo Haseul

Categories: fluff i think?

a/n: prompt by @woollypoison ty wobbly! Inspired by Dreamlike Universe and Multo goddamn did i get sad while writing this

~~~

“Oh, you look gorgeous.” At the door stands Eunbi, a bouquet of hydrangeas cradled gently in her arms and a plastic bag of fried chicken and plum wine bottles dangling by her fingers. She sports a bright smile contrasted by the poorly lit hallway she stands in, waiting to be welcomed into the house. Immediately off the bat Haseul senses no ill intent behind the statement—she even thinks her friend is being genuine about it despite Haseul feeling like Gangwon roadkill herself—though she does sense a note of patronizing.

“Come in, Eunbi…” Haseul opens the door a bit wider and steps aside to make room. Eunbi hops in and makes for the kitchen counter, setting down her gifts. With her guest’s back turned and her appearance brought to the forefront of her consciousness, Haseul takes the opportunity to check herself in the mirror, finding dark circles under her eyes, a wrinkled shirt that looks like it’d been slept in for four nights straight, and a bedhead that’s sorely out of place for the 6 p.m. atmosphere.

Then again, Eunbi’s cheery demeanor isn’t a good fit for the somber mood of Haseul’s apartment either. She’s too bright, Haseul thinks somberly, as Eunbi just carries on opening the boxes of chicken and popping the cap off one of the bottles of plum wine using one of her sturdier rings. Haseul can only watch as she heads off to the fridge and rummages through, looking for something to mix the liquor with.

“You know,” Haseul finally sighs out, taking her seat in one of the barstools. Eunbi dumps the last pack of Haseul’s Yakult onto the kitchen island as Haseul continues, “you didn’t have to come over. I’m fine.”

In response, Eunbi sighs and tilts her head, shooting a disapproving look at her friend. “Sure, Miss Hasn’t-Showered-Since-Friday,” she teases as she shakes her head. She turns around one last time, and sets two sets of plates, glasses, and chopsticks in front of her and Haseul before sitting down herself. “It isn’t like you to not reply for days and then say you stopped bathing. Think of this as a welfare check—I had to make sure you were still alive.”

"Dead people typically don’t text their friends to say they forgot to take a shower.” Haseul only picks at the chicken, but ultimately gives in to the enticing honey garlic aroma. The sticky sauce meets her lips, and by some mysterious divine decree, she immediately feels marginally better.

Eunbi looks on as her friend finally starts eating. The way she fills her cheeks with big bites of chicken bring a smile to her face, but also an adjacent concern: how long has it been since she ate? “Alright, honey garlic, noted,” she says in a stern but thoughtful tone. She places another piece on Haseul’s plate before taking one for herself, “Could’ve saved me the trouble picking flavors.”

~~~

“Is this really necessary?” Haseul hugs her knees, covering herself as best as she can from the curtain covering her from Eunbi on the other side. The showerhead throws warm water over her head generously, soaking her hair and rehydrating her skin.

“Yesh, ish absholuhly nesheshayee,” Eunbi replies, mouth full of toothpaste suds. Haseul hears the bristles drag against her teeth through the shower curtain from inside the bathtub, listening steadily for when she spits and gargles. “You’re brushing your teeth too when you’re done in there.”

“I'm not a child…” Haseul retorts, but fails to muster defiance nor determination in her voice. She tries recalling when she did last brush her teeth, drawing only blanks. She hears the toilet lid shut, followed by a dull thud, and what is unmistakably Eunbi's sigh from the other side of the curtain.

“I know, Seul. Me neither. We have to tough it out, okay?”

“That's not helping. That's just the usual bullshit in a different voice.”

A moment of silence takes the bathroom, making way for the beads of shower water hitting the bathtub in light clunks. The water level tries rising, and Haseul finally gives in and helps it along—she unfolds her legs to let them sink into the collecting water. The initial split second of cold fades just as fast as it comes, and with a harsh shudder Haseul empties her lungs sharply again.

~~~

“One last thing,” Eunbi announces as she fluffs her pillow, “I'm right out here. I can hear you, and I'm a light sleeper. Don't try anything, funny or otherwise,” she chides with finality.

“I don't appreciate being talked to like that.” Haseul’s tone is wistful, or thoughtful at the very least. She only leans in the doorway connecting the hall to the living room, and her arms cross by themselves as she unconsciously shields herself from the prodding into her psyche.

“Yes, you do. Deny it all you want.” Satisfied, Eunbi falls gently back onto the couch, and then throws her borrowed blanket over her feet and legs. She tugs her sleep mask over her eyes and flashes a smile and a thumbs up in Haseul’s general direction, missing only narrowly and reassuring the light switch beside her instead.

Haseul only watches. Eunbi settles her pillow onto the couch's armrest, and then her head onto the pillow. The smile never leaves her unnie's face, and for the first time this night, Haseul starts to believe it's genuine.

She heads back to her too-big bedroom, gets in her too-fluffy bed, claps twice to turn off her too-fancy light. The glow-in-the-dark moon and shapes stickers on her ceiling swirl in her eyes as if actually in orbit; the circles, squares, triangles, and single crescent all pull her into a meditative trance. She contemplates just what Eunbi means by everything she's said and done, as well as anything she's yet to say and do.

Complimented on her looks even though she's a mess. Scolded for not bathing and made to brush her teeth. Comforted like a child who's scared of the monsters under her bed. She knows Eunbi means well and come from a place of genuine concern, but that doesn't change the fact that Haseul isn't someone to handle like some glass figurine—she’s not fragile, not pretty, and certainly not teetering on the edge. She can’t—

Tears run down her face to the back of her head. They slice a line of cold on her temples as they fall, while she lies there defenseless and gasping for air that can’t seem to make its way into her lungs. Her hands can’t find themselves either: they lay motionless, folded over each other on her stomach, not even able to wrap around one another. Above all else, her blanket feels like spikes and feathers on her skin, millions of pounds of what should only be cotton crushing her under its weight.

Try as she might, Haseul doesn’t have enough sharp fear to build panic with in her chest. It’s only the dumb, soft knockoff kind of fear that she knows rises from something not even real. She should be able to call for help, scream, even just cry properly, but there’s just not enough air, not enough strength in her for it. So, as she lies there motionless, voiceless, helpless, she ponders the situation she finds herself in: one she can only ever think of as absurd.

A beam of light cuts through the suffocating darkness and through Haseul’s wallowing in despair: “Hey, where’s your ramyeon?” All her hope rides on it being Eunbi, of course it’s Eunbi, please god let it be Eunbi—come back, I’m awake, I can’t move—

“Shit.” Heavy footsteps on Haseul's wooden bedroom floor, and Eunbi appears next to her. “What's wrong? Why aren't you talking?” Her leader's intuition serves her well, and she hears Haseul's light, labored breathing through the ambient hum of the humidifier and sees her ice-cold tears amidst the cloudy darkness. Gentle and gentler, she helps Haseul sit up—more like doing the heavy lifting all by herself, but she was never one to complain. Neither of them were.

Haseul can only gasp and sob as her lungs start back up. She mumbles through her hiccups, feeling sorry for herself while Eunbi looks on with a concern that Haseul has only ever found disgusting. It only weighs more on Haseul’s tired shoulders, and once she's calmed down and crying properly, she slumps back against her headboard while Eunbi only stares and waits.

“It's…” Haseul finally chokes out, “It's in the kitchen island,” she wipes her tears away with her sleeve, “t-take as many as you like…” and Haseul finally completely breaks down. Her hand shoots to her pillow and grabs like a bird clenching claws around prey, then bringing it to her face as if about to rip it to shreds.

A wail muffled, and Eunbi knows why.

~~~

“A disservice to look away,” Eunbi thinks, “a dishonor to look back.” She tentatively squeezes Haseul’s knee as the latter sobs pathetically into her pillow. She just waits; there’s nothing to be said nor done when this starts other than to ride it out. And it’s all too familiar: the weight of responsibility—and the sudden lack of it—can be crushing.

It’s a good while before Haseul fully settles down. So Eunbi’s attention wanders around her friend’s room: the humidifier humming softly in the corner, the glow-in-the-dark space stickers right above her bed, the window that showcases the best of the Seoul skyline after dark. She recalls the singular time Haseul had ever told her about what it’s like in her house, when the power cut across the entire city, and for the first time ever, in that one split-second you could see the universe in the sky like it was a dream. It was the one time Haseul had ever shared something like that to someone who, in Haseul’s own words, “understands.”

“I’m so tired…” Haseul confesses wearily. She retreats her pillow off to the side, though her sobs still punctuate her speech. Eunbi wraps an arm around her shoulders, and Haseul slumps onto hers in turn. Eunbi makes to wipe every tear that forms at the corners of her friend’s eyes, long before Haseul musters the will to do so herself. It’s a burden to carry, something the both of them know all too well.

“It’s okay,” consoles Eunbi as her shoulder continues to grow wetter, “Lean on me.”

“That’s really corny,” Haseul retorts with as much of a chuckle as she can muster, “even for you.”

And Eunbi can only keep wiping away her tears, can only let her lean; she can’t take away the source of her tears or her weakness. She could never admit it, but Haseul already knows: it tears at Eunbi’s heart too.

“I’m really sorry… I know this is hard.” Haseul finally rights herself off of Eunbi’s shoulder. Eunbi can only scoff at the thought, wishing for this to be the “hard” she had to go through again, what she would give for this to be the weight she bore every day like before.

“You don’t have to apologize. It isn’t easy for you either,” she comforts, “you called me here because I understood, right?”

~~~

It stops Haseul in her tracks. “Was I always that easy to read—No, where the hell did Eunbi get that idea—How dare she come into my home uninvited and—”

“Could you tell me about it? What it’s like still having chicks in your nest?” She never feels Eunbi’s eyes on her; the faint reflection on her bedroom window only shows her friend gazing out at nothing of importance. She can see the flat, almost bored expression in her face as she asks a question much more loaded than probably even Eunbi could have ever expected to ask.

She meets her eyes through the makeshift mirror instead, looking past the skyscrapers and headlights and into the heart of the friend who understands. “I caught you. It hurts too.” Haseul says it with more surprise than anything else, finding something in herself she didn’t know was still there.

She feels the mattress bounce ever so slightly, sees Eunbi drop her head and chuckle at the accusation. “I can’t be the one who understands forever, you know? We grow up all the same, things change. We of all people should know that.”

“Your nest isn’t empty, is it? They still look up to you for support and guidance.”

“Yeah,” Eunbi concedes, “but it isn’t the same. They write their own songs now, have their own members to look after, follow rules that don’t also apply to me. I can pretend all I want, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m not their leader anymore.”

They sit in silence, sharing a view that reveals different things. Haseul looks out to the night sky, the stars hiding behind the blinding lights of Seoul. She grows wistful herself, recalling but not mourning a past that’s been both too long ago yet not long enough.

“Jiwoo calls,” Haseul sighs. “She calls a lot more often now. I remember when she played with the other members, and would try to turn and hide when the tears came. And Hyunjin—bless her heart—she complains about her members. Kahei laughs at her because she says she’s turning into me.”

Eunbi chuckles back, “Is that good? Turning into you?”

Haseul takes a moment to really, really think: “What does it mean to be turning into me?” She notes how her members would poke her cheek awake when they needed something, when she had to do the same when their schedules called for too-early mornings. She always ate last, but never least—her members made sure of that. She was a shoulder to cry on more often than not, and she’d told herself so many times that she wouldn’t have it any other way.

“It’s… good. It’s like a dream, being theirs to have and…” Haseul’s voice lowers much more than she meant it to, finding comfort in the responsibility instead of burden, “and bother.”

Eunbi tilts her head, seeing past the intrusive lights of the world below. Her hair falls over her shoulder, and a smile buds across her face. “That’s all that really matters at the end of the day, right?”

“You gave me too much credit, by the way.” Haseul gives her friend a gentle shove, and Eunbi can only smile and breathe out in response. “You’re putting words in my mouth, ‘because you understood,’ I’m not that smart.”

“That’s not for me to decide, Seul. It’s for you, and it seems like you made a good decision.” She finally meets her eyes—properly this time—and Eunbi pats her head. It’s not comforting, not patronizing, certainly not grandstanding. It was simply recalling something Eunbi had lost herself.

Haseul can do nothing to hold back the question, intrusive or disrespectful it may be. “Eunbi, does it get any easier?” Most of her wishes she could take it back, but part of her thinks Eunbi can’t answer quick enough. She waits with a hope she can’t understand, one between anticipation and despair, for an answer she couldn’t possibly prepare for.

It takes Eunbi a few moments, the gears quietly turning in her head as if they hadn’t turned in ages, “Yeah, it does. It gets so easy that it gets hard again. You start to miss the feeling of missing rather than just missing the thing itself.”

Haseul notes the wistful tone woven into her friend’s voice, finding nothing but bitter truth and an honesty that can’t help but be brutal. “That sounds really scary.”

“Growing up is scary. Scary when it’s them, weird when it’s you. But you do anyway.”

“Do… do you ever wish it didn’t happen? Disbanding, I mean.” Haseul knows this is dangerous territory now, but with Eunbi, it feels tender, if not a little bit sore. “Sorry. Don’t answer that—”

“Of course I did. Of course I do. What do you take me for, Haseul?” Eunbi laughs a shy laugh, feigning offense at Haseul’s pitiful attempt at dissecting her. “I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I made a sacrifice for the good of everyone else. I tried to hold on so hard. And I lost. Lost the group, lost them. How does that make you feel?”

“Afraid… like it’s prophetic. Like there’s not a universe out there where I win.”

~~~

“Seoul had never looked so pretty,” Eunbi thinks. She wonders about what it would be like to see it when everything was dark, and the embroidered starlight behind the cloudy city lights would be bare to admire as much and as long as she liked.

Nearly four years now, the only thing Eunbi can wave over Haseul in this moment: the certainty of an ending rather than the dwindling hope of a cliffhanger. It isn’t envy—Eunbi can’t afford to let herself get jealous—but a victory that lets her simply call it a day. She rests easy, knowing her legacy had never really disappeared, but took on new forms and reached greater heights in her kids: Chaewon still calls, much more often now, and Wonyoung laughs when Yujin complains.

“Well, who’s to say?” Eunbi shrugs, “But there is a universe where it’s just dreamlike.”

~~~

[mang0d0ll]

Bob's Lonely Hearts Club

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ summary: bob's all alone on valentines day. but not for much longer.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ word count: 1.6k

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ includes: fluff, fem main character, negative self-talk, morale boosting, fem mc becomes bobs hype man, implied sex, mentions of alcohol and drinking, bob gets kinda tipsy, hangman is kind of a douchebag but whats new

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ a/n: this is my first full fic on tumblr!! YYYAAAAAYYYY im so excited that its here! this idea has been collecting dust in my brain and my notes app literally since tgm came out in 2022, but im just so proud of myself for actually writing this and putting it out in the world. enjoy <333333

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORK TO BE REPOSTED OR FED INTO AI

Bob wouldn't really classify himself as a loner.

Sure he was quiet, preferring to take a back seat to the rambunctious chatter and lighthearted bickering the rest of his teammates were always up to, but they always included him in the conversation. Hangman particularly enjoyed ribbing him with jokes about his mouse-like demeanour, until Bob would throw some smack talk of his own, making the group erupt with laughter.

But tonight was different. It was Valentine's, and Bob was - by all accounts - a loner.

There were other patrons scattered across the Hard Deck, but nowhere near the regular amount on a typical Friday night.

He hadn't even realised the romantic holiday was coming up. It wasn't until a week prior when Fanboy hollered that he'd scored a date with someone he'd been chatting up on Bumble; his booming voice causing Bob’s pool cue to completely miss the ball.

From then on, it was all he heard from the Daggers. Payback had a dinner planned with his long-term partner, Rooster was going out with a woman he'd been casually seeing, and Coyote nonchalantly declared that he'd have no problem heading into town and picking up a cute chick on the day itself.

Hangman had let it slip that he and Phoenix were going to a drive-in cinema together, but any cheeky remarks from the rest of the team were left unsaid at the heat of Phoenix’s glare.

So there Bob was, sitting at the bar on Valentine's, nursing a drink and musing over everything he could've been doing instead. With the complexities and demands of his job, he'd rarely given much thought to his romantic life. Boy, was he regretting it.

His eyes bore into the random sports match playing on the bar’s TV, his brain only registering the vibrant colours and fast-paced movements.

"Hey, Bob."

A melodious voice broke him out of his daze. Behind the counter stood everyone's favourite, sweet-as-sugar Hard Deck employee. She gave him a small smile as she wiped down glasses and put them aside.

"Fancy seeing you here tonight. Thought you'd have somewhere more important to be."

His head tilted, like a curious puppy, making her giggle.

"Y'know, cause it's Valentine's?"

"Right!" Bob exclaimed. "Yeah, no, no plans. I don't have anywhere else to be, so..." His voice trailed off as her warm smile struck his soul. With sweaty palms, he raised his glass and took a swig of his drink.

"That's a surprise," she said.

"It is?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I thought you'd have a cute date or something."

Bob's eyes widened and he quickly choked out a laugh, "Me? Oh, no, no I'm flattered but I'm not..." A wave of nausea rushed through his body - the words sticking to his throat. "I'm not really the ask-out-women type," he said as he stared into his glass. "Never been good at it."

And maybe it was the alcohol making him feel all fuzzy. Maybe it was the bar's dim lighting setting the mood. Or maybe it was the feeling of being almost alone with the attention of the stunning bartender-slash-waitress he maybe, sort of, definitely, had a crush on.

Something in the situation just made him feel... different. Trusting. Honest.

"I'm not confident like the rest of them," he confessed. "Hangman, Rooster, Coyote, they see someone they like and have no problem approaching them. Even if they didn't, there are plenty of people who come up and offer their numbers all the time. But I can't do that. Can't bring myself to talk to anybody like that. I'm not suave or charming like they are. Not cool or confident. I don't stand out in a crowd or attract any eyes from across the room. I'm just the guy in the background no one gives two cents about. Boring ol' Bob."

A silence hung between them, the static sports commentator voice floating through the air.

A tsunami of emotions whirled through him. On one hand, a weight had been lifted off him- a cathartic thrum in his chest at finally voicing the thoughts that'd tormented him for years. On the other hand, the admission of his feelings only made them more real and ever apparent to him. A dark cloud over his head, doomed to follow him.

"Excuse me?" she spat.

His head snapped up to find her eyes ablaze.

"Do you really think that?"

His mouth opened and closed like a fish but no words came out. Thankfully for him, she didn't give him time to reply.

"Bob, you’re an amazing person. You're kind, and sweet, and thoughtful. You're always there for others, helping them even when they don’t ask for it. You carry your friends out when they're too drunk to walk. You listen to them rant about their work and lives. And when you're here during closing you insist on helping us clean up; stacking the chairs and storing crates in the back. You’re this guardian angel looking out for everyone around you.

So what if you're not like Rooster or Hangman? Why would you wanna be anyone else anyways? You're an amazing person all on your own and you show it everyday."

Bob felt an overwhelming heat engulf his body. It was as though he'd stood at the entrance of an active volcano for a decade.

“You really think that?” he squeaked out.

“Yes! And if girls don't see that then screw them. Anyone with a functioning brain cell would be lucky to go out with you.”

Bob smiled shyly, "Well, I'm flattered-"

"I mean, you're literally a dream!" She continued, hands frantically wiping glasses and setting them down with a low thud. "Not only are you kindhearted but you're a dream to look at. It's honestly criminal how fit you are with your glasses making you look so cute, and kissable, and..."

Her voice trailed off as their eyes locked and she registered Bob's tomato-red face. Bob's heart pounded in his ears.

"Sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Bob wouldn't really classify himself as brave.

Sure he'd had a rare, unexpected surge of bravery when he joined the military - shocking everyone that knew him - but everything that came after was simply part of the job. Each day of suffering through grueling training to become a WSO had nothing to do with his bravery, but rather his tenacity and determination to show everyone what he could accomplish. What he was made of.

Buf in this moment, a rare moment in his life, Bob chose to be brave.

"What time do you get off from work?" he asked.

"Soon. In about an hour."

"And... do you have any plans after?"

"I was just gonna go home," she blushed, a smile painting across her face. "But you're most welcome to come with me."

"So Bob, how was your Valentine's?"

The Dagger Squad's chatter quieted down at Hangman's sudden question. The sounds of the Hard Deck filling the silence between them.

"It was good," Bob replied, leaning against a pillar and doing his best to act casual.

"Really? Get up to anything fun?"

"Stop it," Phoenix chided.

"What? I'm just asking," Hangman laughed, gliding about the pool table and lining up his shot as if he wasn't interrogating his teammate. "Wanna know if Baby-on-Board spent the night alone like I said he would."

The crack of his cue against the ball came as a comical sound effect to the shock everyone was smacked in the face with. Phoenix shook her head in disbelief and mouthed a 'sorry' to her WSO, which he waved off with an understanding smile.

"Well Hangman, since you're so desperate to know, I came here on Valentine's. And while I did start out alone, I ended up going home with someone."

Everyone's heads whipped towards him.

"No shit. Seriously?" Hangman chuckled. "Who is she? Who had the honour of being our Bobby's companion. Is she even real?"

It was at this time that she walked over to them, empty tray in hand. The woman who'd occupied Bob's head 24/7 ever since the night they shared together a week prior. The woman he'd confided in and poured his heart out to. The woman who held him and kissed his doubts away all night long. Her lips soft against his smooth skin, the heat of her body melded against his.

She moved with grace as she motioned for the team's empty glasses and bottles, everyone giving her polite smiles as she passed. Bob allowed his eyes to trail after her before turning his attention back to Hangman.

"I can assure you she is very real. She's an amazing woman, full of kindness and love. Adorable to boot. Honestly, I'm over the freaking moon that she even wants my company."

Their eyes met as she got closer to Bob, still pretending to be completely unaffected by the conversation at hand. Picking up the last empty bottle, she began to walk pass Bob to get back to the kitchen.

"And I'm most definitely taking her home with me tonight," Bob declared. Just as she passed, Bob raised his hand and let it fall with a swift smack! to her behind.

Jumping back in shock with a loud yelp, she turned to Bob, ready to tell him off, only to be met with his cheeky smirk and smitten eyes.

She huffed and glared at him, though there was no real heat behind her eyes. "We're leaving as soon as my shift is over."

"Yes ma'am," Bob smiled.

She scurried away as she failed to suppress the smile growing on her face.

He stared at her retreating figure unashamedly as the rest of the Daggers began whooping and hollering.

"Dude! No way!"

"How'd you pull her? What did you say?"

"My man! Knew you had that dog in ya!"

Their words fell on Bob's deaf ears, his head preoccupied with counting down to when he could finally leave with the woman of his dreams.

[dior-luxury]

omg hi, huge fan of ur works!! i saw ur requests for windbreaker were open?(if not please disregard this🙏) but can you maybe write a kotoha x gn reader ? maybe like a meet cute with a reader that looks like a delinquent but is actually pretty sweet

Kotoha Falling In Love With A "Delinquent"

( ✧ ) ────── friend stories . fluff - gn!reader .

- [��𝐡.] kotoha

- [𝐩:𝐬] none~

Note: KOTOHA!!! I literally love her, I'm so happy that writing for her is my first wind breaker request 🥹!

Spring settled on Makochi like a lazy cat, stretching its golden limbs across the streets, softening the city’s harsh edges with warm breezes and drifting petals. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, blanketing the sidewalks like pink snow. The street outside Bofurin’s territory was unusually peaceful today.

Kotoha, hands stuffed into the oversized hoodie she liked to wear when she wasn’t kicking ass or babysitting reckless delinquents, strolled through the shopping district. Her hair down in its usual style, earbuds in, blasting a playlist she’d thrown together for mood control. It wasn’t working.

She was still annoyed. Angry, really. Some idiot had knocked over her scooter earlier and didn’t even leave a note.

But then she saw you.

Leaning against the side of a vending machine, one foot resting lazily against the metal, smoke curling from the cigarette barely hanging between your fingers. Not school uniform, just a black biker-style jacket over a white tee, sleeves pushed up to the elbows. You looked like the kind of person who didn’t ask for trouble—but didn’t mind if it showed up.

Your hair was slightly messy, and there was a faint scar over your eyebrow. Definitely not a local. Kotoha’s brain immediately labeled you: trouble. Her inner monologue went something like: Ugh, another wannabe punk? Please.

But then you turned your head.

Your eyes caught hers, and the expression you wore wasn’t cocky or calculating. It was… soft. Curious, even. You blinked, straightened a little, and awkwardly stubbed out the cigarette.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, voice low but gentle. “Didn’t mean to blow smoke your way.”

Kotoha blinked. Wait. Polite?

“…You’re not from around here,” she said, one eyebrow arching.

You smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of your neck, suddenly looking more like a kicked puppy than a threat. “Nah, just moved here. Was trying to find the train station. Got lost. Again.”

Kotoha didn’t reply immediately. Instead, she squinted at you, trying to detect any sign that this was an act. The jacket, the cigarette, the scar—it was all so textbook “delinquet.” And yet… your aura was more like someone who carried bandaids in their pocket just in case someone scraped their knee.

“…You always dress like that?” she asked, tilting her head, lips twitching in amusement.

You looked down at yourself and laughed, short and embarrassed. “Guess I look like a thug, huh?”

“No,” she lied, “You look like someone who listens to sad music in the rain.”

Your face turned red so fast, and that’s when Kotoha knew—this wasn’t just some punk. You were sweet. A little shy. And kind of cute in the way baby goats are cute: nervous, jumpy, but genuinely earnest.

“Well,” she said, taking out one earbud, “you’re lucky I found you first. There are guys in this area who’d pick a fight just because of how you look.”

“…You’re not gonna fight me?”

She snorted. “Please. You’d cry.”

You looked mildly offended—only mildly, because you knew she was probably right.

She started walking, glancing over her shoulder. “C’mon, I’ll show you where the station is. But you’re buying me a soda.”

You fell into step beside her, matching her pace, eyes drifting up to the blossoms that fluttered down between the buildings like a soft, wordless promise.

“Thanks,” you said, voice quieter now.

Kotoha didn’t look at you, but her smirk deepened. “Don’t mention it. Just… maybe drop the cigarette next time.”

“…It was my last one anyway.”

A pause. She turned to look at you.

And for the first time in a long while, Kotoha’s face softened—not her usual half-smile or sarcastic quirk, but something real. Warm.

“Good,” she said.

[gay-dorito-dust]

I just wanna say, I love your writing! I have a request, you don't have to do it if you don't want to, but how would the sparda boys take care of the reader when the reader is ill?

dante

probably tries to give you ice cream when it's adviced against. other then that he's actually rather decent when taking care of you, but always insits on being in the same room as you as per his need to just be close by in case you need something else.

somewhat boasting that he wouldn't catch your sickness nearly as badly, whether that was meant to be reasuuring or not, you're glaring at him regardless. your sickness already is putting you in a mood, so dante better tread carefully unless he wants you to cough and sneeze in his pizza to put his immune system to the test.

However this man has every comfort food you could possibly want, seeing as he could barely cook to save his life. so your better off with being given an cup of soup or anything that didn't require much effort nor preperation when under his care. it's not like he's not trying, he's just really shit at it. he somehow set spaghetti on fire once, never again was he ever aloud in the kitchen.

While he may such at cooking, he excels in making you laugh and making you smile in general when your bored in bed and the sickness was getting on your nerves and dampening your mood. He will entertain you by being his upmost goofiest self in order to make you forget your sickness for a brief while and it's much appreciated on your behalf, for nothing makes sickness better then Dante making you laugh until your thrown into a coughing fit.

'you know what else will clear you of your sickness?' Dante asks, wiggiling his brows.

'pack it in you dirty demon.' you replied, smacking his arm lightly.

'you're the one with the dirty mind sweetheart.' Dante cackles, kissing your forhead despute your protests of. 'you'll get sick!'

Dante shrugs. 'then you'll take care of me, simple as that.' he says as he flashes you a smile before deciding that you needed some cuddles from him as he joins you in bed, keeping you close to his chest as he monitors your tempreture as you slept and ajusting himself accordingly for your benifit.

vergil

not the greatest in comparison to nero but somewhat on par with Dante or maybe a little worse as he mainly toughens his sickness out or acted like he wasn't on the verge of breaking down.

He will have to remind himself that you weren't half demon like him, you were human and neeeded rest and he's tucking you tightly within your bed to the point you can't even move a finger. He's taking being your caretaker seriously it's not even funny, you can tell he's trying hard too but it always comes off awkward and extrememly over the top.

you liked the fac that he was trying to look after you and he was a decent cook as well with how well cut the vegetables were, they were clean and all even but you shrugged it off to him being an excellent swordsman, so naturally he's quick and efficient with a chopping board.

Vergil runs cold and when you first found this fun factoid out was when his fingers brushed against your warm forehead and you audibly groaned upon contact. Vergil, thinking he did soemthing wrong, immeditly pulls his hand away from you, much to your dismay.

'why did you do that?' you whined, looking at him through half lidded eyes, pouting as the headache came back worse then before.

'i thought i had hurt you.' He admits, feeling you grasp his hand and tug it back up to your burning forehead and sighed in relief.

nero

'nope, your cold hands are just what i need for this stupid headache.' you told him as you let go of his wrist when you were confident that he wasn't going to pull away anytime soon, closing your eyes as you smile to yourself with the headache subsiding. 'much better.' you add barely above a whisper.

poor Vergil was left with his hand on your forhead for prolonged periods of time, little lost and confused becuase he's never had to care for anyone else other then himself, but he's trying and that was more then worth the awkward moments of his caretaking.

is the best in taking care of you when your sick in comparison to his dad and uncle by far.

he's dilligent of his duties as your caretaker when your sick, he's making sure your taking your medicine, even if it may taste like absolute shit but you've got to take it to get better. it's always in a timely manner too as Nero has your medicine and a glass of water always set up next to your bedside table when you awake with a cute little note alongside it from him.

he's decent at making food, better then Dante by far but decent in general, as he makes you soups and anythign else that's easier for you to consume while sick, something that could keep you full and warm and in your sick haze it's the best thign you've ever had that you would compliment Nero for it.

'you're sick out of your mind, quit it.' he says as he rubs his nose out of embarrasesment.

'no.' you replied, sniffling, 'this is the best fucking soup i have ever had.'

'drink some water dumbass before you .' Nero said soflty as he hands you the glass, cheeks still a little red as well as the tips of his ears, it's cute to fluster your quater demon that even in sickness you had to at least try but flustering Nero was quite possibly the easiest thing ever. After all he tended to be softer towards you when you were sick and flustering him.

Nero makes sure your not too hot, yet not too cold and was more then willing to stay up late if needded to make sure you were okay, all the while fighting off your requeats to cuddle and kiss. His immunity isn't as good as his dad or uncles, so he knows damn well that he'll catch what you got tenfold if he gave in and cuddled you; Though that never seems to stop him from kissing your forhead apparently, it was a habbit he couldn't break it seems.

yet despite taking tones of precautions, he most likely will end up getting sick, so soon enough you were just to sick peas in a really comfortable pod called a bed, cuddling up together under soft blankets as you tried to nurse each other back to health.

[aryadelvich]

hiii could u write something about a movie theater date with luigiii. i think it would be so cute to cuddle in the seats and fall asleep in the car ride back

Yeah it’s cute, it’s the kind of date you do when you’re profoundly in the relationship and you know every details about him and it’s the same for him. Here it is, hope you like it.

Movie date - Luigi Mangione x reader

You and Luigi had been together for years, and every single time you went to the movies, it was the same old song, a full-blown argument over what to watch.

Luigi always wanted The Lion King. You wanted Midsommar. Total chaos.

If you were in the mood for a romantic movie, he wanted action. If you craved a thriller, he suddenly got sentimental and wanted a romance. You were basically like cats and dogs—stubborn, loud, and absolutely ridiculous. And yet, as always, Luigi was the one who gave in.

He could never really resist you, no matter how much he pretended to be "the man of the house" for a grand total of thirty seconds.

The rare times you did watch his pick, it either didn’t bother you, or (miraculously) you actually agreed.

"Seriously? You're picking this over The Lion King?"he groaned.

"Luigi, we’ve all seen The Lion King a million times as kids. Why rewatch it just because it’s live-action? It’s basically an animal documentary at this point."

"It's a classic,"he argued, crossing his arms like a grumpy kid.

"Yeah, a classic we already know the ending to. Meanwhile, Midsommar? Mystery. Suspense. Terror. Actual emotions!"you shot back.

"Hmph,"he grumbled.

But he still shrugged and stomped off to the concession stand to buy popcorn, candy and, of course, a bottle of water, because he knew you’d ask for one halfway through.

You felt a small pang of guilt watching him go. Just a small one.

You were practically bouncing in your seat as the movie started, already thrilled by the weird, creepy vibes.

Meanwhile, Luigi sat next to you, arms crossed, chewing popcorn like it was made of cardboard, a permanent look of betrayal stamped across his face.

You just ignored him, too busy soaking in the first thirty seconds of ominous music and unsettling smiles.

Ten minutes in, he whispered:

"Why is everyone smiling like that? Are they all on drugs?"

"Shh,"you said, waving him off, eyes glued to the screen.

Thirty minutes in:

“No way. NO WAY. This dude just jumped off a cliff like it’s a team sport. WHAT IS THIS MOVIE, Y/N?"

An hour in, you could feel him slowly... disturbingly... starting to lean forward. His popcorn-eating slowed. His eyes were glued to the screen, wide open. He looked like a kid seeing fireworks for the first time.

An hour and half in, when the craziest scene hit—flower crowns, screaming ceremonies, and some truly traumatizing dancing—Luigi clutched your arm.

"Look finally the flowers.”he whispered, voice trembling.

He shook his head in awe, eyes sparkling.

The movie ended. The lights came back on. You stretched your arms, cracking your neck a little.

Next to you, Luigi looked... suspiciously calm.

You squinted at him.

"So?" you asked. "Be honest."

He stayed quiet for a second, then finally blurted out:

"I LOVED IT."

You almost choked on your own spit.

"What?! You?!" you cried.

"Just... wow. I need to add this movie on my letterbox profile.”

"I thought you hated it..."

"At first! But then I understood. The symbolism. The trauma. The slow burn. It's genius!"

Luigi was already launching into a full dissertation.

"I mean, the cinematography? Stunning. The symbolic representation of grief through pagan rituals? The tension in the daylight scenes? Genius. Absolutely genius. Did you notice the mirroring of Christian iconography twisted into Nordic folklore—"

You blinked at him, stunned. You hadn't even caught half of that.

"...Yeah," you muttered. "Totally. I caught that too."

"AND," Luigi said, almost bouncing on his feet as you both walked to the car, "the part where the relationship dynamics subtly mirror the disintegration of Dani’s personal identity in favor of communal integration—wow. Ten out of ten."

You stared at him, utterly betrayed.

He was supposed to suffer.

In the car, Luigi was still going on, driving with one hand and waving the other around like the Italian that he is.

"You see, the real horror wasn’t the rituals," he said passionately. "It was the slow erosion of autonomy! Midsommar deconstructs the psychological impact of grief and isolation—"

You tried to nod along. You tried to keep up. But the soft hum of the car, the tiredness of the day, and the very warm window were too much.

Your head gently bumped against the window with a tiny thunk.

Luigi, mid-lecture, glanced over at you. You were out. Completely asleep, breathing softly, your forehead against the cold glass. He immediately shut up, smiling softly to himself. He adjusted the heating so you wouldn’t get too cold, turned the music way down, and drove the rest of the way in silence. Every few minutes, he'd sneak a glance at you — the way your nose scrunched when the car hit a small bump, the little snore you tried to fight off. And he smiled wider every time.

Tag list : @contrarianshitstan-blog @bean-is-reading @iinfinitelimits

[starmaidengarden]

hello! first off, i absolutely love your writing ♡ i always enjoy reading your work! i saw your requests were open so if you don’t mind i’d like to leave one (๑>◡<๑)

could i get savanaclaw with a s/o who is in need of some comfort/external motivation during a hard time? life unfortunately has not been very enjoyable for me lately :’) thank you so much for all of your work ^^

hello! oh my, thank you so much for your sweet words! It truly means the world to me! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) I’m really sorry to hear that life has been tough for you lately :’( I hope this helps if only a little!

Leona Kingscholar ༉⋆｡˚

⭑.ᐟ Leona picks up on subtle changes in your behavior. If you are quieter than usual or seem to avoid eye contact, he will notice and frown, but he won't confront you right away. He’s the type to watch silently until he’s sure it’s not just a bad mood. While he isn't the best with words, he sees you struggling.

⭑.ᐟ He doesn't want you to feel pressured to explain yourself, so he finds comfort in simply being there. He'll pull you down onto the grass and allow the silence to speak for itself. If you cry, he will quietly wrap his arms around you. Leona hates seeing you upset—especially when he knows how capable you are.

⭑.ᐟ He’ll cancel things for you without you asking — handling a class excuse or keeping annoying people away. If he knows something is causing you stress (e.g., a project, an event), he’ll handle the boring parts “It’s done. Now you can focus on pulling yourself together.”

⭑.ᐟ He’ll offer blunt but genuine encouragement. “You’ve made it this far, haven’t you? Just rest, You don’t need to prove anything to anyone but yourself.” He’ll push you when needed, but he will catch you if you fall.

Ruggie Bucchi ༉⋆｡˚

⭑.ᐟ Ruggie’s incredibly sharp. If your energy is off or your routine changes, he picks up on it right away. He notices when you look run-down and will show up with snacks, some drinks, or a silly distraction. He’s goofy but sincere — and his concern is obvious in the small ways he takes care of you.

⭑.ᐟ Ruggie knows what it’s like to be overwhelmed, “Hey, you don’t gotta do it all at once. Just one step, then the next.”  He knows hard times don’t last forever, and he wants you to believe that, too.

⭑.ᐟ He brings you little things — your favorite pastry, a cute keychain, or just a bottle of water when you’ve forgotten to hydrate. He talks to keep your brain from spiraling — telling silly stories or gossip just to pull you out of your own head.

⭑.ᐟ He helps in small ways. He takes over tasks that feel too much for you. He will pause his own work to spend time with you, making things feel normal again. When he sees you making progress, even small steps, he smiles.

Jack Howl ༉⋆｡˚

⭑.ᐟ Jack is awkward with emotional stuff, but he feels deeply. When he sees you hurting, he offers silent support. Sitting next to you while you work or just lying in bed beside you during rough nights, even if you don’t feel like talking, He respects your space but makes it clear you’re not alone. “You don’t have to talk. I"'ll just be here with you when you're ready.”

⭑.ᐟ Jack is straightforward and honest. He tells you the truth with earnest belief. “You’ve made it through hard stuff before. I’ve seen you do it. You don’t have to do everything at once."

⭑.ᐟ He helps in small ways. He encourages you to get fresh air or be active, knowing that movement can improve your mood. Helping with what’s stressing you out, even if it’s not his usual thing, just to make things easier for you.

[noctiva]

You ask us for our headcanons but what about yours!! I feel like when I read your toby stuff, it reads like multiple different moments in the same relationship. How you do you picture his life with you the reader? How do you think they met?

oooooooooooh!! this is fun! that’s a super cool way to look at it! tbh looking over them you’re totally right, it could definitely read that way! I think it’s just bc I really like writing proxy!toby x civilian!reader something about an ‘innocent’ reader loving him despite all of his gruesome flaws

I think this:

toby probably saw you first in a mission into the city - probably some recon shit to get info on someone on slender’s hit list. maybe at a cafe, maybe you’re a gas station attendant. it would be that whole ‘love at first sight’ deal he sees you, and he’s convinced he’s never seen anything more beautiful - that type of shit

he would wriggle into your life by sneaking back into town jusy to see you. lingering around your job for far longer than needed, asking you what you took in your coffee - just to return with a mug just the way you like it the next day. always making sure to wear clean, not ripped clothes so not to tip you off. he wanted you to trust him, to find him safe.

he probably wouldn’t tell you what he really did until a few months in. and it also probably wouldn’t be on purpose. you’d be up late one night when he came stumbling in, skin and clothes drenched in crimson.

of course, you’d be shocked - horrified - and it would take a long long time to talk you down and make you understand.

I think a relationship with Toby would be a lot of ups and downs. Ups, in the way he’d be so undeniably grateful to have you around. Downs, in his mood swings and long unexplained times away. It would be a lot of kissy, touchy, physical love any time he’s around you, because he’s always scared you’re going to slip right through his fingers.

he’s a sap, so he’s doing dumb shit like carving your initials into his hatchet, or letting you sew patches onto his jacket. heart eyes when you stand behind him in the mirror’s reflection - snipping away at his shaggy hair.

constantly asking if you’re sure this is what you want, constantly telling you that he’s sorry he couldn’t give you more.

teaching you how to throw an axe, rolling around play wrestling in the grass outside, laughing at jokes that don’t make an ounce of sense, wet sloppy kisses and soft murmured ‘I love you’s, tangible adoration in the shape of a necklace he snagged off of a victim’s neck.

I think it toby would be just as much your boyfriend, as he is your best friend (as it should be)

[crescenthistory]

if you're comfy w/ writing this, could i request a barty x reader, where barty gives reader a piercing? or reader gives barty a piercing? (either is fine, you can choose!) i've been thinking about it all day 😗

~🍓

i wrote this aaaaages ago and forgot to post it lol, sorry berry!

wc: 1.6k

cw: gn!reader, no use of y/n, fluff, suggestive undertones, amateur piercings, vague needles, don't try this at home plz. modern au, established relationship, barty's general bursts of mania

Note: this is partially inspired or at least motivated by my chat with komi about dyeing barty's hair for him

“And why did this have to happen at 2 AM again?” You asked wearily as you carded your hands through Barty's slightly damp hair.

He was sitting on a chair in front of you, chin leaning against your stomach and grinning widely up at you. His face was illuminated by the shimmery moonlight streaming in through the mosaic windows of the prefect bathroom.

About 20 minutes ago, there was a rapid and insistent knocking on your door, one that each and every one of your roommates clearly recognised as Barty as they groaned your name. You flicked your wand towards the door to let in a stumbling Barty, wearing his signature smirk, pajama bottoms that were hanging dangerously low on his hips and a tattered shirt with wet spots around his neck. He had clearly just stepped out of the shower and all but come barging in to find you.

There were various grunts from around the room at the light that streamed in behind Barty. Someone threw a pillow in your general direction, smacking into one of your bed posts before falling to your mattress with a soft thump.

“Babe, take your dog and leave,” one of your dormmates grumbled, though not without an underlying affection for both you and your dog.

You gave Barty a look that you hoped screamed “look, you've gotten me in trouble” even as you jumped out from beneath your covers, suddenly awake just for him. You quickly shimmied on something more fitting for whatever adventures Barty had in store for you, not feeling like trekking through half of Hogwarts in your undies.

Barty just grinned back at you, though perhaps a bit sheepishly, as he picked up a jumper that was hanging over the back of a chair and throwing it to you. Were it not for the other people in the room, you were sure he would have commented on the fact that it was his jumper.

“Well, because it was at 2 AM when I wanted to do it, and you said to get your help next time,” Barty drawled in response while drawing circles into the flesh of your hips, as if this was the most natural response in the world. “And I figured you would be more upset about me ditching you than waking you.” He gave you a crooked smile that gleamed with every ounce of cunning in his body – which wasn't a light statement.

You shook your head but made no attempt to quell the curling of the corners of your lips as you continued carding through his hair, which was drying more and more each time you caressed it. You hummed in response, not wanting to pick an argument you knew you would lose.

“What do you want to pierce this time then, my love?”

Barty seemingly melted further against you at the term of endearment, irrevocably yours in this intimate moment. He hummed as he pushed your shirt up enough to shower your midriff with soft kisses. “How do you feel about a helix?” he murmured against your skin, smiling when you had to suppress a giggle at the ticklish sensation.

“You're asking as if I'm the one getting the piercing.” You huffed a laugh, scratching your nails up and down his neck to get his attention back. “How do you feel about another helix?”

“I'm just in the mood to get another piercing, doesn't really matter which one,” he said absentmindedly, as if body modifications were an afterthought and not an active decision. “I’ll get them all eventually anyway.”

“Oh, so if I wanted to give you a Prince Albert, you would be all fine and dandy with that?” You laughed as you spoke, shaking your head at him.

Barty just grinned and winked at you. “If I want anyone to give me a Prince Albert it would be you with those pretty hands of yours.”

You tried to just scoff and not let his insinuations get to you. “When that day comes, I will drag you to a professional piercer myself. Don’t want you getting an infection.”

“I’m sure you don’t,” Barty murmured against your stomach before nipping lightly at your exposed flesh to get you squealing. A light tug at the dark roots of his hair got him to look back up at you, eyes landing on yours as he couldn’t fight his laughter.

“Helix then?” You let one of your hands card back through his hair, soothing where you pulled at it. 

He hummed in the affirmative and leaned into your touch.

Not able to deny yourself, you leaned down and pressed your lips to his forehead. You tried pulling back, but Barty’s hands tightened around the backs of your thighs, keeping you in place as he tilted his head backwards to capture your lips with his. It was a stretch in this position, but Barty didn’t relent before he had gently invaded your mouth, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth.

“Now I’m ready,” he said through a grin as he pulled back.

“Alex was right, you are a dog.” Despite the admonishing, you reflected his grin as you pulled back to grab your wand.

“I distinctly remember Alex calling me your dog.” Barty flipped the chair around so he could fold his arm over its back, watching you walk around in preparation.

“My dog then,” you corrected. “But a dog nonetheless.”

With the flick of your wand, you sterilised the equipment Barty had procured from somewhere in his dorm – that you wholly didn’t trust to be state of the art, but it would have to do – and your own hands and arms, both before and after you put on the black gloves.

“What a professional,” Barty mused as he watched you.

“One has to do their research with a boyfriend like you.” You walked back towards him with the equipment and your wand.

“Mmm, call me your boyfriend again, baby.”

You laughed, swatting the air near his arm, not wanting to have to sterilise them again so soon. “You have got to focus, B. Do you want to draw up where you want the helix?”

He just shook his head, leaning his chin on his folded arms, smiling wider when you visibly noticed the flexing of his bicep. “Just put it somewhere between the other two. On the right side.”

“You don’t want me to draw up where?” you asked dryly.

Barty reached out, his hands once more finding the backs of your thighs as he pulled you closer, kneading the flesh in admiration. “Where’s the fun in that? I’m ready, Dragă.”

You softened a little in his touch and hummed in the affirmative. “Alright baby. Turn your head for me?”

Barty dutifully listened to you, dumb smile he only reserved for you on his face. With the flick of your wand, you pulled his hair away from his ear and cleaned it, preparing. You fumbled a little with the needle, far from a professional but knowing that you with your research is better than Barty recklessly doing this on his own. The needle was the proper one at least, hollow and sharp, ideal for helixes. You had a titanium barbell pinched between two of your fingers, ready to be inserted.

“Are you ready, my love?” you whispered, not wanting to hurt him while knowing he didn’t mind.

He looked at you in his peripheral vision. “For your hands on me? Always.”

You let out a chuckle before breathing in deeply and setting the needle to what seemed like the ideal place between his other ear piercings. Swiftly, you pushed it through just like the countless videos you watched back home had shown you. With kind fingers, you replaced the needle with the barbell, using the instrument to screw on the end. 

“And there we go!” you announced quietly, mostly to yourself. You dipped your head down to drop a kiss to his messy hair, nose brushing against acid green and dark brown strands.

You quickly discarded your gloves and lifted your wand to wash and sterilise the piercing once more. You didn’t think of how closely you stood observing that there was indeed very little blood trickling out despite his ear being slightly red, which you supposed was quite normal – until Barty swung his legs off the chair and moved his grip from your thighs to your waist to pull you close.

He laughed against your mouth as he kissed you deeply, kiss after kiss placed on your own giggling lips.

“B! Don’t you want to see the piercing?” you managed to get out between kisses.

“Always so focussed,” he murmured, but he did rest his forehead against yours.

Grabbing your own hand with his, Barty pulled you towards the nearby full-length mirrors that the prefect bathroom was filled with – “so they can practise being even more in love with themselves” Barty would always say.

He stepped close to the reflection, turning his head to see the piercing that had landed rather evenly between his two other helixes. “Sick.” He turned to you with a grin. “You are a true professional, aren’t you baby?”

You opened your mouth to respond, but he swallowed it with another kiss, dragging you back against the mirror with him. He intended to thank you profusely for your services.

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

Kingsguard part 6

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

M!troll x f!reader

1.7k words

Ba’tual might be infuriating and enjoy pushing boundaries, but even he has limits on what he’ll tolerate. At least with work to do and other academics to meet with you can stay fairly distracted from how awful you felt about what you said to him.

————

You had a long, cold walk back to the inn where you were staying to really think about what you said. It was eating at you the whole way back, just how awful of what you accused him of really was. For most of the night you just went over ways to apologize to Ba’tual, well if he would even talk to you next time you saw him.

Even at a distance the next morning you could tell he was in a foul mood. He was leaning on one of the posts around the sparring ring outside the hold and barking orders at the two recruits he was overseeing. He never looked thrilled to be training recruits, but this was a lot even for him.

You veered from your typical path right into the hold over instead to where Ba’tual was, rehearsing what you planned to say.

The moment he saw you he turned his back to you and dismissively waved you off.

“Ba’tual, just let me explain-” you tried to begin.

“No” he cut you off.

“No? Please, just let me-”

“No. I’m not interested in anything else you have to say. I don’t care why you said it, or what you actually meant, or anything else. That was your first instinct about me, that’s all that matters.”

“That’s not what I meant though, I just-”

“Stop.”

“Please just listen-”

“Maybe you have trouble believing that I don’t know what ‘stop’ means since you don’t seem to know either” he snapped.

That stopped you in your tracks. He was right, sure this was at a much smaller scale that what you accused him of, but all the same he asked you to stop and you didn’t.

“I’m sorry” your voice was small as you shuffled off to the hold and you just hoped that maybe another day you could really apologize.

Days went by much the same. You either met with dignitaries and historians at the hold or were left on your own to chat with people around the city and jot down what you could. A few times you saw Ba’tual around, though he just ignored you, either turning away or just looking over your head as if you weren’t even there.

You thought back to how even when he was persistently pursuing you that he never touched you, how at the night at the festival he propositioned you and promised that if you really weren’t interested then he would just leave you alone. He had been rough with you, but adjusted if you seemed too uncomfortable or told him something hurt. Looking back you were certain that if you would have told him to stop he would have. He never gave you a reason to believe he would ignore if you asked him to stop or that he would force himself on you, you really didn’t know why exactly you said it.

Quickly you banished the thoughts from your mind. You were actually pretty excited for today, you were supposed to be meeting with a historian from the local troll tribe and have the chance to write down as much of their history and stories as you could.

A slightly disheveled troll man can rushing into several minutes after you.

“Apologies” he began, “it’s been a long few days of travel.”

“Toli, where’s Gin’ra?” asked one of the others you had been meeting with.

Toli stood up a bit straighter and tried to smooth out some wrinkles in his shirt to no avail before quickly giving up, “Uh, yes. As you may know Gin’ra isn’t quite as mobile as he used to be and he couldn’t make the trip so he sent me and gives his regards” he address to the other scholars in the room you had been working with.

“And he hopes that should you have the time that you would consider visiting the village” he turned to address you.

You hadn’t seem many trolls in the city, it was the orcish capital after all, and the few trolls who were there almost all guards who had fought in the war. Toli had clearly never picked up a weapon or fought. He was as tall as any other troll, but lacked any real muscle, which made him quite a lanky thing. Still he was striking as any other troll, dramatic arcing tusks, rich blue skin with purple undertones, and purple hair so dark it was nearly black tied back off his face.

“I’m sorry if I kept you waiting, I’m not usually this bad at getting up in the morning. I got into the city pretty late last night and I guess I was more tired than I thought” he apologized.

“You’re fine, I only just got here too” you smiled back.

Toli was animated, friendly, and easy to talk to. Quickly you learned that he was more than just a historian. One of several children in a family of fishermen, he grew up always knowing that he too would be a fisherman like his parents and had no problem with it, he loved the sea and it was what he knew. He spent a lot of his free time just talking to people and had an incredible memory for anything someone told him. He was eventually offered the chance to assist Gin’ra and be his apprentice as Gin’ra had no kids of his own to pass the knowledge to and he happily accepted it.

“So, do you like being a historian?” you asked him.

“I do. It gives me the chance to talk to all sorts of people, and I enjoy teaching these stories and history to people” he said.

Toli had about as many questions about humans as you did about trolls and it was all quite enlightening. Trolls were much more communal than orcs, a family could easily survive off one trade or skill and trade for anything needed. Things like food that were necessary for survival were always freely given, anything else could easily be traded for. Kids ran freely about the village, looked after by whatever adult happened to be closest. It sounded nice.

It also sounded like Toli was much more than just a historian. He taught history to kids, but also stories of the gods, legends, and other tales, kept up with any interesting news in the area, and maintained general records of the village.

You joined him for lunch at a little troll-ran tavern down at the port. He happily introduced you to many new foods, most of it seafood, which only felt fitting for the son of fishermen. He answered questions before you even asked them, he was cheerful, talkative, and incredibly knowledgeable.

Over the next few days it was a comfortable routine. You wrote as fast as you could while he recounted everything he could think of. The two of you would grab lunch and dinner together and get the chance to just chat for a while. He reminded you a lot of the other archivists you usually worked at back at home, even across cultures and species there was still something familiar about talking with another academic.

“Toli? Really?” a voice tinged annoyance rang in your ear.

“Ba’tual” you gasped, a bit startled at his sudden appearance. It had been a while since he had snuck up on you like that and it was always surprising just how quiet he could be.

“So you and Toli?”

“Yes?” you answered back, not entirely sure what he was getting at.

“Just didn’t think you’d be seeing anyone” he shrugged.

“Seeing? Wait, you think-?” your words and mouth caught up to each other. You couldn’t tell if you were amused or annoyed. A few times over the last couple of days you had see Ba’tual chatting people up with all of his usual flirty tricks, and here he was concerned over who you might be talking to.

“I mean, I keep having to hear about ‘that human emissary’ and Toli out for lunch together so one would assume.”

“Well, I didn’t think you’d care who I talked to.”

“I don’t, but you could do better than Toli.”

You shot him an odd look before answering, “At any rate, he and I are just colleagues, so you don’t have to be concerned. And Toli is very sweet I’ll have you know. He’s well spoken, and intelligent, and friendly so while I’m not looking for anything, he’s be my type if I was” you shrugged.

Ba’tual just seemed more agitated the more you spoke. Clearly he was annoyed at the thought of you seeing someone, but at the same time he had made it abundantly clear that he wasn’t interested in your apologies or anything else about you, and you really couldn’t blame him.

“I really am sorry about the other day though” you added, “It’s not what I meant.”

He just watched you, almost expectantly for a moment before speaking, “I know.”

“You know?”

“Well, I figured” he shrugged, but didn’t elaborate.

“So if you knew it was all just a stupid mistake and it wasn’t what I meant, then why avoid me or not let me apologize?”

“Just because it was an accident doesn’t mean it’s ok. Or that I’m accepting your apology. Or interested in it.”

“So why come talk to me at all? Just to tell me you don’t like Toli?”

“He tells stories for kids” Ba’tual said flatly.

“And? He’s a historian, and he does a lot more than that too” you defended.

“He’s a storyteller, you could do better.”

“Well, that’s not really any of your business, now is it?” you snapped. You couldn’t blame him for not forgiving you or accepting your apology, but you could be cross with him for butting into your business for no reason.

“I suppose it’s not” he just shrugged again and turned to walk off, “Maybe I’ll see you around.”

Part of you felt a little better, he was willing to talk to you after all. His bizarre interest in who you might be talking to made you hopeful he would be open to talk another at least. And he was still his infuriating self.

[amazingmsme]

A Gift For Gabbers

AN: Damn it feels good to be back! Been writing a lot of different things & had this one on the back burner for a while. Of course it’s an epic fic, what did you expect? It’s another oc fic, but this time it’s about Leander, & I had a blast fleshing out his personality! Still might be a while before I get around to sifting through my askbox, but I do see them. Anyway, hope y’all enjoy!

Leander had always been fairly talkative, especially as a child. He would speak at inappropriate times and get scolded, or harshly shushed. It had made him feel guilty just for being friendly, and he would try his best to keep his mouth shut until he felt it was okay to talk again.

Growing up in a war certainly didn't help. He was young and lively, blurting out whatever came to mind, no matter what his comrades seemed to be doing. He remained oblivious to their annoyance, for the most part. If he hears a particularly heavy sigh, or if they say something, he'll reign himself in. The last thing he wants is to be annoying, but he fears that he comes across that way, more often than not.

He knows he's not the sharpest sword around, but he's a lot smarter than they give him credit for. He just has a hard time focusing, jumping around from thought to thought, and why wouldn't he talk to his friends? When people look at him, they just see a big dumb jock; someone who's only good for fighting and hard labor. He supposed they were right, but that didn't mean he couldn't have a personality.

Leander is just an open, loving guy and he enjoys sharing his passions with those around him. Even if they don't particularly care.

"You ever wonder what might be swimming under the ship?" he wondered aloud, helping Perimedes and Elpenor tie up the sails before a coming storm.

"Nope."

"Not really."

"I think about it every time I look out at the water. I mean, the ocean's just so huge! Who knows what all is out there!" he rambled on, staring at the horizon in awe. Perimedes snapped to get his attention.

"Less chatting, more working. Hand me the rope," he demanded. Leander did as he was told, but continued speaking.

"Sorry, here you go. But we've already seen so many amazing things, just think of what's lurking just out of sight! Dolphins, whales, sharks, sword fish, flying fish-" he listed off, unaware of his friend's growing annoyance. Elpenor was zoning out, or else he would've tried to stop Perimedes from what he was about to say.

"For the love of the Gods, will you just shut! The fuck! Up!" he yelled, cutting him off. Leander froze, snapping his mouth shut as his eyes grew wide with fear. Perimedes yanked the rope hard, fastening the first sail in place. "I swear, you don't know how damn annoying you can be."

"Okay, that's enough!" Elpenor scolded, shocked by the sudden outburst. He looked over to Leander, an apology on the tip of his tongue, but the damage had been done. He looked absolutely crushed.

"O-oh. Yeah, I-I didn't know it bothered you so bad. I'll... I'll just be quiet," he mumbled, staring at the ground as his eyes filled with tears.

Perimedes finally looked at him, wincing when he saw the deflated look on his face. "Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," he apologized, reaching out to touch his shoulder, only for Leander to flinch away. He never did that...

Perimedes was already feeling guilty, but Elpenor's judging glare made him feel worse.

He tried to lighten the mood, to spark conversation, but Leander didn't take the bait. His words cut deep, and it would take more than a shallow apology to mend the wound. So, they worked in silence.

By the time they fastened the last sail, the first raindrops began to hit the deck. The pair ran below deck while Leander lingered behind. Elpenor turned around when he noticed he wasn't with them.

"What are you doing? Come inside!" he yelled as the wind picked up, the sparse raindrops beginning to fall faster.

"I'm just gathering the loose barrels. Don't want anything going overboard," he brushed off the concern. Elpenor hated leaving him like this, but he doubted he would accept his help.

He ran into Eurylochus in the hall, frantically explaining what happened and how Leander was still up  on the deck.

"I'll talk to him. Just go to your bunk to wait out the storm," he ordered. Elpenor nodded, walking down the hall without another word.

When Eurylochus made it to the deck, he saw Leander carrying a barrel over one shoulder and a box under the other arm, stacking and tying them against the far wall. His hair was wet and matted to his face, his clothes already soaked through and clinging to his body. He was panting, though it was hard to tell if it was from frustration or exertion.

"Let me give you a hand with that." His voice startled him, but he settled once he saw who it was.

"Oh, hey Eurylochus," his demeanor was quiet, almost snuffed. It felt... unnatural. He watched him from the corner of his eye as he helped fasten the last of their equipment. He barely spoke a word the entire time. And while he would normally welcome the silence, he knew what had caused it.

Once they were done, he placed a comforting hand on Leander's shoulder.

"That's the last of it. Why don't we go back inside?"

"Sure. That sounds nice."

~~~

Asterios was watching the storm roll in through the porthole window when the door slammed open.

"Well don't you look... soggy," he deadpanned, looking Leander up and down. His teasing smirk faltered when he saw the look on his friend's face. "Leander? What's wrong?"

Those words were the straw that broke the camel's back. Leander sniffled, wiping his eyes before collapsing in his friend's arms. "What the hell happened, are you okay?" Asterios questioned, patting his back comfortingly, but the movement was still a bit stiff and awkward.

"Am I r-really that a-annoying?" he stuttered, choking back tears. Asterios felt a fire light inside him; whoever has said that was going to pay.

"What? Of course not, big guy. Who the fuck said that?" he questioned, trying to keep the anger from his voice.

"Don't be mad at him, he was just being honest," Leander defended. Asterios pulled away, leveling him with a stern yet caring look.

"Bullshit. Now who was it?" he asked, despite knowing the answer.

"Per-"

That was all he needed to hear before storming out.

Perimedes was lying face down on the bed, hiding his face in the pillows. Elpenor sat next to him with his knees tucked to his chest, looking rather guilty.

Asterios barged in, startling them both. "I hope you're fucking proud of yourself, dick," he hissed, dragging Perimedes up by the shirt. "You like making grown men cry or something?" he questioned, jerking him around.

"Shit, I made him cry?" Perimedes asked, genuine remorse knitting his brows together. Asterios glared at him long and hard before letting go.

"Yeah, well, he's a sensitive guy, and you're an asshole," Asterios said, backing off slightly once he realized how sorry he truly felt. "Just... go make it right," he added before seeing himself out.

When he got back to their room, he found Leander in his bed, wrapped under the blankets.

"Hey bud, how ya feelin'?" he asked, sitting on the foot of the bed. Leander shrugged.

"Fine. Why'd you leave?"

"Just had to go teach your little problem a lesson," Asterios said with a smirk. Leander sat up, staring at him skeptically.

"Oh Gods, you didn't punch him, did you?"

"No, I didn't punch him. But I should've." That made Leander chuckle.

"Thanks," he sighed, leaning his head against his friend's shoulder. They stayed like that for awhile, and Asterios rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. Leander hummed and leaned into the touch.

They both jumped when someone knocked at the door.

Asterios stood and answered the door, frowning when he saw who it was. "Oh. What the hell do you want?"

"To apologize," Perimedes answered shyly. Asterios softened, glancing over his shoulder. Leander nodded in approval, and he stepped aside to let them in before slipping out the door to provide privacy.

Perimedes and Elpenor sat down on either side, sandwiching Leander in between them.

"Are you okay?" Perimedes broke the tense silence. Leander scoffed.

"I guess," he answered curtly. They both frowned at the lackluster response.

"Well that wasn't very reassuring," Elpenor said, smiling when he saw a hint of a smile grace Leander's features.

"I'm fine, really," he insisted, but he didn't even sound convincing to himself. Perimedes sighed and threw an arm around his shoulder. 

"Look, I'm real sorry about what I said back there. I just- I was annoyed, and I lost my temper. So... I'm sorry," he apologized, feeling genuine remorse as he looked at his friend.

Leander smiled and leaned into the touch, wrapping his arms around each of them. "Thanks, I forgive you. But I'll try to keep quiet, I promise," he assured, yet there was an underlying sadness to his words that he couldn't shake.

"You don't have to do that," Perimedes argued softly, guilt gnawing away at his chest at his words.

"Yeah, we love listening to you!" Elpenor chimed in. Leander pulled away, staring at them skeptically.

"Really? 'Cause it seems like you don't..." he trailed off, curling in on himself as he tucked one knee against his chest, wrapping his arms around it.

"We do! It's just... you kinda tend to ramble on, and it can get a little boring," he said before he could think better of it.

Leander gasped, staring between the two. "So what I'm basically hearing is that I'm annoying, and boring, so I should just shut up," he snapped defensively, shocking them both.

"What the hell?"

"That's not what I said!"

"It's what you meant," he stood firm in his stance, arms crossed over his expansive chest. Perimedes sighed.

"I already said I'm sorry! What else do you want from me?" he pleaded, and Leander shrugged.

He truly didn't know what it was that he wanted from Perimedes, but he did know that he wasn't quite ready to forgive him yet. His words had cut deep, and the scars had already settled. The apology was a nice sentiment, but at this point, it might as well be like putting bandages on a stab wound; it could only help so much.

"I dunno. But I really wish you'd just leave me alone right now," he muttered, and Perimedes couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"Okay, you're spending too much time with Asterios. It's making you all broody, and I don't like it," he decided. Leander snorted in amusement.

"You don't like a lot of things," he quipped sarcastically, making Elpenor stifle a giggle.

"Okay, that's it! We're not leaving until you have a smile on your face," he boldly claimed.

Leander raised his brows in shock. "Better get comfortable then," he challenged. Perimedes growled and grabbed his hair, flopping back onto the bed in frustration. He glared up at him mockingly.

"Since when did you get so stubborn?" he questioned, sitting back up.

"Since you hurt my feelings."

Leander tensed up as soon as he realized what he just admitted. Perimedes deflated at his words, and Elpenor winced. Apparently, they still needed to work things out.

"C'mon, I said I'm sorry! I didn't mean anything back there!" When Leander didn't answer, he rested his head on his shoulder, laying a hand on his knee.

"You mean that? You're not just saying it to make me feel better?" he questioned, looking between them with wide, sad eyes.

"I don't tend to sugar coat things," he smirked, patting his friend's leg with a friendly squeeze to the knee.

Leander instinctively jerked away, his lips twitching upwards in a shy grin. He had just barely held back a giggle, and he tried to casually hide his smile behind a hand. Elpenor and Perimedes shared a knowing look behind his back, and he repeated the motion, earning a startled gasp and flinch.

"I think I know how to cheer you up now..." Perimedes said, and despite his words, Leander couldn't help but see it as a threat. He leaned away as far as he could, bumping straight into Elpenor.

"Do tell," he taunted, wrapping an arm around his shoulders so he couldn't escape.

"Guys, you don't have to do this," he tried to reason, but a nervous, giddy smile was already playing at the corner of his lips. It wouldn't be the first time he fell victim to one of their attacks. And he'd watch them go after the others often enough to recognize the warning signs. He knew he was trapped.

"Oh, but we do! We gotta make sure you're not upset anymore," Perimedes insisted.

"I-I'm not!"

"You don't sound so sure."

When he opened his mouth to speak, Perimedes began to squeeze his knee, latching onto his other leg for added effect.

"Wahait!" he barked out a laugh, wrestling the offending hands away.

"And what am I waiting for, exactly?" he asked, arching a brow quizzically.

"Um..." For once, Leander's mind came up blank.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Perimedes taunted, going right back to squeezing his knees.

He caved immediately, curling in on himself as he fell victim to bright laughter.

"G-guys, c'mohohon! Behe nihihice!" Leander whined, falling back on the bed in a fit of giggles. For all his protesting, he wasn't trying very hard to protect himself; merely wrapping his arms around his belly as his legs scrambled across the mattress.

"But this is us being nice!" Elpenor taunted, scribbling his fingers between each rib. Leander shrieked and tried to crawl away, only for Perimedes to drag him back by the ankles.

Leander was lying on his stomach, hiding his face in a nearby pillow as he laughed his worries away. Perimedes straddled his legs while Elpenor struggled to pin his arms overhead.

He realized he could probably escape if he really tried, it's not like either one of them were very strong. But... that would be pretty rude, wouldn't it? After all, they were just trying to cheer him up! He's done the same on more than one occasion, so he supposed it was only fair.  Besides, he never turned down a good laugh.

"Yeah! If I wanted to be mean, I'd do this!" he demonstrated by shoving his hands inside his sandals, scribbling against his trapped soles.

"NOHOHO! Gehehet out!" he shrieked, kicking frantically, but all his struggling was useless.

"Aw, what's the matter big guy? Too ticklish here?" Perimedes taunted, lacing his fingers between each toe, making him snort loudly.

"YEHEHES, OHOKAHAHAY?" he admitted through hysterics, and his tormentors couldn't help but to laugh along.

"Is that so? Good to know," he purred, scratching his blunt nails against his arches.

Elpenor added, "Uh oh, you shouldn't have said that. I mean, I can be trusted, but Perry, not so much."

"Oh shut up! Unless you wanna be next!" Perimedes growled, pointing at him threateningly.

"See what I mean?" he asked, pinching up his ribs towards his armpits.

"You're bohohoth hohorrible!" he whined,

"Oh yeah? Who's the worst?" he teased, flashing a proud, cheeky grin.

"Rihihight now? You," Leander managed to huff, bucking his hips in an attempt to throw him off.

"Wow, you hear that Elpenor? He says you suck at this," he goaded, snickering to himself when he heard Elpenor's gasp.

"Excuse me?"

"Nonono I never said that!" he tried to back track, but there was no reasoning with these two. He yanked on his arms, but it was mostly for show as a giddy smile twitched at his lips.

"Eh, it was implied," he shrugged, siding with his partner in crime. He finally reached his destination, swirling a single finger around his exposed pit. Leander jerked away with a bark of laughter, straining to look away as a blush dusted his cheeks.

"Elpenor, plehease! Ihi'm sohohorry!" he whined, arching his back and twisting from side to side.

"Oh so you did mean it!" Elpenor accused, drilling his thumbs in the center of his pits without warning.

"THAHAT'S NOHOHOT WHAT I MEHEANT!" he cackled, muscles straining to yank himself free.

"It's not? Maybe think before you speak," he teased, wrestling his arms back above his head.

"Hehehey!" he whined through boisterous laughter.

"Hay's for horses!" Elpenor shot back, giggling at his own joke as Perimedes reached back to give him a high five.

"Thahat's nohohot even funny!"

"Oh yeah? Then why are you laughing?" Perimedes asked, cocking his head to the side innocently.

"You KNOHOW why!" Leander argued, and he would roll his eyes if he could, but he was a little busy at the moment.

"Really? I don't think so. Elpenor?"

"Beats me. Why are you laughing, Leander?" he played along, darting back down to his ribs to keep him guessing.

"Fuhuhuck ohohohoff!" he sassed, sealing his fate.

"What did you just say?" Perimedes growled, pausing his attack to turn and glare at him.

Leander realized his mistake and began to backpedal, "N-nothing!"

"No, I swear it sounded like you told us to fuck off!"

"That's what I heard," Elpenor chimed in helpfully.

"Just shuhut up ahahalready!"

"Oh you're not in any position to make demands," Perimedes snarked, turning around to face him before clawing at his knees. He kneaded up the side of his thigh towards his hip, slipping his other hand underneath him to attack the side pressed against the bed. Leander snorted and shook his head, trying in vein to curl in on himself.

"Ihi'm sorry! I'M SOHOHORRYYYYY!" he screamed when he found a particularly bad spot where his thigh and hip met.

Perimedes backed off to give him a breather, and Elpenor did the same. Leander laid there gasping for breath, a dazed, giddy smile plastered on his face.

"You promise?"

"By thehe Gods, yes! I promise!" he huffed, rolling his eyes fondly.

"Good. You feel better now? You don't hate us or anything?" he asked, his tone more sincere. Leander blushed and avoided eye contact.

"I could never hate you guys... But yeah. If you need an answer, we're cool," he admitted, unable to stop the way his lips twitched upwards in a smirk.

"Glad you had fun, big guy," Elpenor grinned, reaching over to ruffle his hair before his hand was smacked away.

"What? I-I never said that!" he stammered, cheeks flushing red.

"You didn't have to," Perimedes teased, but there was a touch of tenderness to his words. "You made it pretty obvious," he added with a wink, laughing at the way Leander's gawked at him.

"You can leave now," Leander hinted not so subtly, unable to come up with a witty retort.

"I don't hear you denying it," he goaded further, helping when Leander pounced on him, attacking him with a nearby pillow.

"Because arguing with you is like arguing with a brick wall!" he quipped, hitting him over the head with it. Perimedes giggled as he weakly fought back, shielding himself from the cushioned blows.

"Whatever you say," he purred, and Leander rolled his eyes before smothering the pillow over his face.

"Don't think you're off the hook either," he warned, shooting Elpenor a warning look.

"I would never," he smirked, holding his hands up in surrender.

Leander snorted in amusement and let Perimedes go, but not before thoroughly messing up his hair.

"You two are insufferable."

~~~

Things hadn't changed much, but Leander did make an effort to talk less. If he noticed interest waning in the topic, he'd either change the subject or trail off into silence.

He tried not to let it bother him. He'd brush off the annoyed sighs he'd get in response to his enthusiasm, downplaying his own enjoyment to match theirs. Thankfully, no one really seemed to notice, or so he thought.

Polites noticed how he wasn't as talkative as he usually was and had brought it up to Eurylochus one day. He explained what had happened a few weeks prior, but assured him that Leander was fine now.

"Is he though?" Polites questioned, arching a brow skeptically.

"What do you mean?" Eurylochus asked, unsure where his friend was going with this.

He shrugged. "He just... seems a little sad when he thinks no one cares what he has to say."

"You don't think he's just tired, like the rest of us?"

"No offense, but you're not exactly in tune with people's emotions."

"Fair point."

And that had been that. A short conversation out of concern before the topic was dropped, but it lingered in the back of each of their minds.

Now they sat side by side, rowing in time with the men around them. They had a strong tailwind carrying them, and only a handful of them needed to row. The rest of the crew worked above deck or milled about the living quarters.

Leander sat on the row in front of them next to Asterios, with Perimedes and Elpenor across the aisle. The blond was on another one of his tangents, going on about his favorite kinds of trees.

"And we had this huge mulberry tree in our front yard, and every summer my sisters and I would spend hours sitting in the branches eating berries, and still pick plenty for jams and pies. But my favorite tree," Leander continued rambling on about an old maple tree atop a hill on the outskirts of town, oblivious to his audience's dwindling attention. That is, until he heard a stifled yawn from behind him.

He cringed at the sound, but hoped no one noticed.

"But what about you guys? Anyone else got a favorite tree?" he asked, trying to pass the conversation on to someone else.

"I know the captain does," Eurylochus joked softly, glancing over his shoulder to make sure his friend wasn't there listening. Polites and Eurylochus bumped shoulders, chuckling to themselves.

"Oh lay off him, I think it's romantic," he defended. "I hope I can find someone who makes me feel like that. I didn't have very much luck with the ladies back home, believe it or not," he started on a new tangent, only to hear a heavy sigh.

That was definitely Eurylochus, he knew that sound all too well. He curled in on himself ever so slightly, shoulders hunched.

"But you don't wanna hear about that!" he chirped, forcing a cheerful tone. Asterios cast a worried glance his way, but didn't say anything.

"I do!" Polites reassured, shooting a pointed look at Eurylochus. He rolled his eyes, but stopped when he noticed their friend's shift in demeanor.

Great, now he felt bad.

"Nah, it's okay, I know I'm being boring," he admitted with a shy chuckle.

"No you're not!" Polites gasped, nudging Eurylochus for back up.

"Yeah, what makes you say that?"

Leander scoffed, leaning back as he rowed to stare at him upside down. "For starters, I heard you yawning," he stated bluntly, smirking at the way his jaw dropped in shock.

"I didn't-"

"It's okay, I get it. I know I talk too much, but hey! I'm workin' on it!" he spoke casually, but his movements were faster- more jerky, and Asterios struggled to keep up with the new pace. Elpenor and Perimedes adverted their gaze, sharing a nervous look. They knew what it was like to be on Leander's bad side, and they weren't keen on repeating that mistake.

"You don't talk too much," Polites said, a frown etching his features.

"Whatever you say," Leander sighed, figuring it was better to drop the subject than argue. Polites watched him from behind, brows furrowed. He looked to Eurylochus for help, subtly nodding towards their friend.

He mouthed the words, "do something," and was met with a bewildered look.

"Like what?" he silently asked. Polites shrugged, at a loss for ideas. Eurylochus noticed Elpenor waving frantically across the aisle, trying to get their attention. He nudged Polites and pointed, prompting him to look.

Once he had their attention, he pointed at Leander and wiggled his fingers, sporting a mischievous smirk.

"No," Eurylochus shook his head. Even silent, he tried to seem stern.  Elpenor and Polites both nodded emthusiastically. He caved, throwing his head back in defeat.

Polites cleared his throat and spoke, "Lee?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry if we made you think that."

Leander sighed. "It's fine."

Which clearly meant it wasn't.

"... Are you mad?"

From where Asterios sat, he could see his nostrils flare at the question.

"No, but if you keep asking I will be," he mouthed off, earning a quick chuckle from Perimedes and Asterios. His lips twitched in a proud, but fleeting smirk.

"Come on, don't be like that," Polites whined.

"Like what? You're the one dragging this out," he noted. Polites scoffed in disbelief, and Eurylochus didn't need any more convincing.

Leander yelped when he was grabbed from behind, strong arms hooking themselves under his, pulling him backwards until he was halfway between the seats. 

"Look, we're sorry if we don't always pay attention to your stories, but you do tend to ramble on about pretty boring things," he began, startling just about everyone with his blunt words.

"Dude!" Asterios hissed, whipping around to glare daggers.

"Eurylochus!" Polites yelled in shock, watching the way their friend deflated at his words, adverting his gaze. He had practically confirmed all of his fears and anxieties...

"Gee, thanks. You have such a way with words," he muttered sarcastically. Eurylochus rolled his eyes and shook him in his hold, just to grab his attention.

"But, you're our friend, and we enjoy your company, and that's what matters. You're always so passionate about what you're saying, and we enjoy seeing you happy. It shouldn't really matter that we don't know what the hell you're talking about half the time," he finished with a light tease, but barely got half a smile in return. From his position, it was hard to cross his arms, but Leander managed.

A little more blunt than he intended, but he hoped Leander knew what he was trying to say.

He stared up at him from his lap, unimpressed.

"So what I'm hearing-"

Oh no...

"Is that no one listens to me because I'm b-boring, but that shouldn't matter because I'm a happy guy?" he reiterated, voice cracking from held back emotions.

The situation was spiraling out of control, and fast. Polites watched on in shock as Eurylochus scrambled to correct himself.

"I'm sorry, that came out wrong," he tried to explain, but Leander was done with the conversation and struggled to free himself. From his position, he could only wave his arms uselessly and squirm in his seat, so he didn't get very far. He continued, "You know I'm bad with words-"

"Even worse with feelings!"

"Thank you, Polites," he huffed in annoyance, but was unable to keep his smirk at bay. "But yeah, I'm not great with either. I guess what I'm trying to say is, no matter what you talk about, or how many tangents you go on, we're still gonna be your friend, and we do enjoy listening to you. There, was that better?" he clarified, waiting for his response with baited breath.

"A little," Leander conceited with a shrug, not entirely ready to drop the petty act just yet.

"Only a little?" Eurylochus asked, arching a brow.

"Yeah..." he answered, looking him up and down skeptically. He caught sight of Polites lurking closer, sporting a mischievous grin, and he began to struggle.

"And where do you think you're going?"

"Away from you!"

"Really? Well we're on a boat, so good luck with that," he deadpanned, reaching down to pinch his sides.

"Hehey wait aha second!"

"Yeah, don't get started without me!" Polites cheered and began scribbling across his belly. Leander barked out a laugh, scrambling to protect himself from the double attack. He nearly succeeded before Eurylochus adjusted his hold, trapping him in a hug from behind.

"Nohoho don't!" he whined, legs scrambling against the floor.

"Don't what, buddy?" Polites asked innocently, shifting his attention to his flailing legs. He latched onto his knees, drawing out frantic cackles interlaced with a few snorts.

"Tickle mehehe!" he answered; naive and all too trusting. Whatever, Polites knew what he meant.

He knew he was just answering the question; he wasn't thinking straight, he couldn't think straight. Maybe it was mean to take advantage of that. But it was the oldest trick in the book, so if he didn't see that coming, it was his own fault, really.

So yes, Polites knew exactly what he meant. But that didn't mean he had to act like it.

"If you insist!"

"Whahat? WAIT NOHOHO!" he realized his mistake a moment too late, throwing his head back in defeat as deep chuckles rumbled inside his chest.  "Y-you trihihicked mehe!"

"You say that like it was hard," Polites taunted, scribbling behind his knees.

"Hey whahat's thahahat supposed to meHEHEAN!" Leander shrieked and scrambled to escape as ticklish jolts shot through legs, worse than any Charlie horse. He accidentally kicked Asterios in the back, shoving him forward.

"Ow! Y'know, if you guys are gonna do that, can you at least hold him down?" he requested, scooting further away to avoid any more flailing limbs.

"Traitor!" Leander gasped, this time purposefully kicking him between the shoulders, shoving him off the seat.

He whipped around to glare at him, growling, "Okay," as he wrestled his legs down to the bench.

"Thanks!" Polites flashed a grin before attacking his trapped knees.

"Yeah yeah," Asterios brushed him off, looking away to hide the fond smile on his face.

"Guhuhuys! Thihihis ihisn't fahahair!" he whined, trying to twist and squirm away.

"Life's not fair," Eurylochus teased, pinching down his ribcage. Leander arched away from the touch with a giggly scream, falling in the space between benches.

"Seriously?" Leander cried out in frustration, squirming as his friends laughed at his plight.

Eurylochus chuckled and patted his shoulder, "What'd I tell you?"

"This is your fault you know," he grumbled playfully, using his new position to his advantage and squeezing along his thighs. Eurylochus screamed and pulled his legs up out of reach, heat rising to his cheeks.

"Oh shut up."

"Aw, what's wrong? Can't take what you dish out?" he taunted smugly.

"Can you?" he challenged, snatching both his wrists in one hand and raising them above his head.

"Wait ihit's just ahaha joke!" he begged through helpless giggles, tugging weakly on his arms.

With his other hand, Eurylochus wiggled his fingers threateningly, closing in with each passing second until he reached his target. Leander giggled with anticipation, shaking his head frantically despite the giddy smile on his face. He practically screamed when Eurylochus dug under his arm, blunt nails scratching against sensitive skin.

"Please what? For someone so talkative, you sure are having a hard time using your words," he taunted with an evil chuckle.

"Well geeheehee, I wonder whyyYYYY!" Leander scoffed indignantly, shrieking when Polites started pinching down his calves.

"Aw, you're ticklish here? How funny!"

"Shut uhuhup! Don't behehe mehehean!" he whined, kicking weakly as his hands crawled higher to scratch the back of his knees.

"I'm noooot!" Polites taunted, feigning innocence. "If I was mean, I'd do this!"

Leander didn't even have time to guess what he was about to do before he felt hands latch onto his knees, squeezing relentlessly. Deep, bellowing laughter escaped from his chest, legs kicking the air uselessly as he struggled to free himself from between the seats. As soon as he freed himself, Eurylochus snatched him once more.

“GAHAHAH! Lehet gohoho!” he shrieked, scrambling to slap his hands away, only for Eurylochus to snatch his arm once more.

“So knees are a good spot? Noted,” Eurylochus hummed in observation, nodding sagely despite his teasing grin.

“NO! It’s bad! It’s sohoho bad!” he let out a giggly whine, head thrown back in mirth.

“Same difference,” Polites said, giggling when he heard Asterios mutter, “What the fuck, no it’s not.”

“Sure it is! It’s just bad for him and good for us!” he clarified, playful giggle taking on a slight menacing edge.

“You’re evil,” Asterios deadpanned before going back to work, one of the only few left rowing, even if Elpenor and Perimedes were doing a half-assed job while they watched.

“Coming from you that means a lot,” he quipped. Asterios sputtered in shock, whipping around to glare at him for a split second before turning back around, elbowing him as he pulled the oar back.

“Ow! It was a compliment!”

“Mine wasn’t,” Asterios taunted, tilting his head ever so slightly, just enough for Polites to see the tug of a smirk playing at his lips.

“Hey! Do I have to get you next?” he threatened, noting the way Asterios bristled at his words.

“Hell no, just keep doin’ what you’re doin’,” he brushed him off, excusing himself from the conversation.

“Whahahat? Nohoho! C’mohon guys, hehehelp me out!” he begged, expecting at least one of them to come to his aid.

Nothing.

“Plehehease?”

“Sorry, you’re on your own,” Perimedes said, rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly.

Leander gasped in shock, nearly choking on the laughter caught in his throat. There was only one option left.

"HEHEHELP! THEY'RE KIHIHILLING MEHEHE!" he called out desperately, seeing as no one down there was keen on saving him.

"Oh don't be so dramatic!" Polites taunted as he scribbled behind his knees.

Eurylochus barked out a laugh of amusement, cupping one hand around his mouth to shout back, "NO WE'RE NOT!"

Asterios, Elpenor, and Perimedes couldn't help but chuckle along, too amused to save him from his plight.

Eurylochus shifted his hold to more of a hug, taking the opportunity to dig into his sides. Leander doubled over as best he could, deep, rumbling belly laughs filled the air, reaching the upper deck.

At first, Odysseus was happy to ignore the sound, having grown used to the crew's antics by now, and besides, they could fend for themselves.

But then he heard the poor soul beg for help…

The group below deck was far too preoccupied to notice the footsteps walking down the stairs, nor the fact that their captain now stood in the doorway. He watched on with an amused smirk, shaking his head fondly.

Finally, he cleared his throat, announcing his presence, but only Perimedes seemed to notice, trying his best to tip them off to his presence.

"Really guys?" They both jumped at the sound of his voice. Eurylochus dropped Leander in shock, and he fell to the floor, still trapped between the benches. Polites didn't seem to care about that, taking the opportunity to scribble over his belly. "I expect this sort of thing from Elpenor and Perimedes-"

"Hey!"

"We're right here!"

"But I thought you were more mature than that," he teased, yanking on the back of Eurylochus's shirt as he walked by.

Eurylochus shrugged, flashing a smug smirk. "Morale was low."

"Uh huh." Odysseus didn't believe him for a second.

"He totally needed this!" Polites added, reaching over to tweak his side, earning a giggly yelp as he flinched away.

"Lihihiars! They're harahahahassing mehehe!" Leander spoke up, sporting a wide, dopey grin as he tried to squirm away, scrambling to pull himself upright in the tight space.

"Nu uh, we're just cheering him up! Right Asterios?" Polites argued, calling for back up. Asterios glared at him from the corner of his eye when he was suddenly dragged into the discussion, wings pressed flat against his head in annoyance.

"Why d'you gotta drag me into this?"

"'Cause you know we're right!"

Odysseus chuckled, looking to Elpenor and Perimedes for guidance. "So who's really telling the truth?"

The pair shared a look before Elpenor answered with an innocent smile, "Eurylochus and Polites had nothing but good intentions."

"That's bullshit, Captain!" Leander gasped in shock.

"I dunno, I trust my first mate to know what he's doing. If he says morale was low..." Odysseus trailed off, clicking his tongue. "Then maybe you deserved it."

"Whahahat?" he cried out in disbelief. "Noho I dohohon't!"

Polites and Eurylochus barely held back their own amused laughter as their captain came to their defense.

"Don't you always say laughter is the best medicine?" Odysseus asked, feigning innocence with a sly chuckle.

"Y-yeah, but nohot for mehe!" he whined, finally managing to crawl to the main isle and sit upright, heaving for breath. He shrieked and tucked his legs close to his chest when Polites tried to swipe his ankles.

"Okay, hypocrite," Perimedes taunted, having heard that justification used on him.

He rolled his eyes, breaking under the light interrogation. "Okay, fine, so maybe I was being a little difficult-"

"Oh only a little?" Polites taunted, giggling as he dodged a playful kick.

"You know, I was debating whether or not to get revenge, but you just made that decision for me," Leander teased right back.

"Nooo wait," Polites whined, staring up at him with his best puppy eyes as he leaned against his shoulder. Leander scoffed in amusement, but didn't shove him off.

"Nope, too late, you can't stop it," he rambled, ignoring the indignant sounds of protests from his friends.

"Uh oh, looks like you better sleep with one eye open tonight," Odysseus can't help but chime in, earning an eye roll from Eurylochus and a betrayed glare from Polites.

"Very funny, Captain."

"It was, wasn't it?" he mocked, flashing a smug grin. "But if I leave, can I trust you to get back to work? I'd prefer if the ship were actually moving," he said pointedly, nodding to the abandoned oars.

The men sheepishly picked them back up and began rowing once more.

"That's more like it. You can torture each other on your own time," he teased, cackling at the way they yelled at him as he trotted away.

"He's one to talk," Asterios mumbled once he was out of earshot. Leander shook his head and chuckled as he took his seat.

"Yeah, I wonder where these two get it from," he said, pointing a thumb behind his back where Eurylochus and Polites sat.

"Hey, I'll have you know I actually taught him a thing or two," Polites spoke up rather smugly. Eurylochus looked at him from the side, arching a brow skeptically. "Don't act shocked!"

Eyrylochus smirked, looking straight ahead and shrugged, "Didn't say anything."

"I know that look."

They bickered back and forth, all the while Leander listened in with a fond smile.

Yeah, they liked him, even if he did tend to ramble. And damn it if he didn’t like them back, as annoying as they were.