#i love playing with colors though but definitely is a different approach to the way i color gifs but anyhow

[logicheartsoul]

Sam Wilson (Captain America) in Avengers: Quantum Encounter

[victoria-grimesss]

tear you apart - part II

masterlist

-> Pairing: König x fem!reader

-> Words: 3.5k

-> Warning: MDNI! nfsw, fem!reader, dominant!könig, size difference, over the desk, blindfold, unprotected sex, rough sex but there’s aftercare, google translate German.  

~> A/N: first time writing smut please go easy on me I beg of thee. 

It’s been a couple days since the training session with König. You've built up a nice routine around the new base and made some friendly conversations with some other new recruits both bonding over the complexities of your new home away from home. 

Would it be weird to say you miss the presence of the colonel? 

Is it strange that you’ve already become so attached to having him near those few times. Having his eyes gaze into you as though you’re all that exists? 

No right? 

 Right. 

 He haunts your dreams, appears to you when you’re most restless to smooth your hair under his touch and whisper sweet things to you, how he wants to be your eternal love, to live a life filled with passion and fire. Your veins run with lava as his hand in your hair traces down to your neck, so small in my grasp, he tells you, how easy it would be to wrap my hand around and squeeze, he says it so sweetly to you. You hum listlessly, lost in his gaze and willing for his touch. You are mine and mine only you understand? You always wake before he even takes off a glove, you're drenched in sweat and the blankets stick to you. But these dreams are common since you’ve met him. You wonder if he dreams the same; if he’s coming to you in these dreams and expressing his deepest desires. 

Silly girl you think, he wouldn’t. 

 Sometimes you think you see him, the corner of your eyes play tricks on you. He’s too big to move that fast, but you feel the burn of his eyes on the back of your head when you’re in the kitchen making your morning drink at times. It feels the same as it did when he laid eyes on you in the meeting room, electric.

 “L/N!” You turn, it’s your captain.

“Sir.”

“Look honey I’m runnin late and these papers need to go to the big guy you mind handing them over? Thanks a lot.” He basically shoved them into your arms and you have to gather them up quickly as to not let them end up as a heap on the cold floor. This whole interaction lasts the better of 30 second.

Your eyes roll at the pet name and how this work could have been shoved on anyone else but no, gotta be the new girl. 

A new girl who most definitely totally doesn’t have a crush *ehem* ~ creepy infatuation with the boss. ~ 

 You vaguely remember the way to his office; the captain shot some directions at you as he walked away from handing off his task to you. 

To the left then the right then the door second to last one on the right. You repeat these as you readjust your grip on the papers.

 As you approach you grow more and more nervous, it’s just your super-hot boss who you’re giving papers to nothing more nothing less. But your hand stays still at your side, your other full of papers.

Just knock.

Your hand is in front of the door, and you knock loudly making your presence known.

 “Enter.” He sounds just as he did last time. Domineering.

You open the door slowly, the light in the hall behind you flickers and your heart beats in time with the moth's wings that fly directly towards that light. You feel like that moth drawn to the light. 

He sits at his desk, papers in his hand, he’s shed his utility helmet and usual mask for a plain black baklava which is fitting all the same for him. The whole room smells like him, it envelopes you and swallows you whole as you close the door. 

His eyes stay on the papers but his concentration isn’t on them anymore, it’s on you.

You’ve come to him, as he thought you would. His mind has been on nothing but you, your file is always on his desk, he’s memorized every word on it.

His favorite colors are now those of your eyes, hair, lips and skin. You’ve become his very own Medusa and he can’t help but become stone when he sees you. If only you knew the grasp you had on him. If only you would grasp him and hold him tight.

 “You have something for me yes?” The lamp behind him casts him as a shadow and illuminates his figure but his eyes are bright.

You walk closer, the room is quiet besides some soft music on the record player on the far side of the room next to another door. 

“The captain requested I bring you these papers, important intel I suppose.”

“Shame. And here I was thinking you’ve just come to visit me.” There’s that teasing tone again. 

Your cheeks heat up despite your best effort to maintain a cool façade. You’re upset you don’t have a mask to hide your expression.

 You hand him the papers, neatly organized now. He reaches with one hand and takes them from you, his gloved hand brushes yours and you lock eyes, goosebumps race up your arm from the point of contact.

You grin and look down.

“I would think you’d have more interesting visitors than me colonel.”

He grows stiff at your mention of rank, calling him by his title. 

His eyes scan the papers noting the important parts.

“Schatz, you are the most important visitor I’ve had the honor of having.” His gaze is heavy on you.

You are still at his words, is he insinuating what you think he is? 

He’s holding bait right in front of your face. 

“I highly doubt that sir, a guy like you must have many visitors….I’m sure you have many beautiful suitors.”

You bite.

He chuckles, it’s low and deep and he groans at the end. 

“I have my eyes on one Ja. She has become the object of my attraction.”

Your heart skips a beat wondering if he means another woman besides you. You bite your lip wearing at the skin. You open your mouth to start and then close it.

He watches your mouth as you do so and wishes to feel it upon him, as you take him wholly.

“Speak, do not hold your tongue.” 

“I-I um I suppose I’m just curious as to what woman could gain your attraction. To be honest sir I thought you were married.”

His attention is most definitely no longer on the papers, or anything job related. His mind wholly encompassed by you and your words. 

He hums lowly and you imagine that it vibrates his chest.

“Come to this side of my desk Schatz.”

You obey, walking to the other side of his desk and standing next to him, facing the door you entered in.

“My desk, do you see any family portraits?”

“No sir.”

He takes off his gloves and you feel like a Victorian man seeing an ankle.

“Do you see a wedding band?”

“No sir.”

After this he stands, his full height towering above you combined with the soft music, dim lighting, and the way he looks down at you makes your knees weak and your lower stomach burn. He walks over to the door you entered and stands for a moment. You wonder if you’ve asked too much, dug yourself a hole and he’s about to ask you to leave.

“I’m sorry if I stepped over the line I didn’t mean it, I can leave if you want.” He locks the door. Your heart locks up all the same at the sound.

“No, Schatz I’d rather you stay, and I think you'd rather stay too. Am I right?” He turns his head to look at you and the way he’s standing you can see all the muscles in his back defined from the lighting and you yearn to rake your nails over them and leave a well-deserved mark. 

“I would.” Your words are breathy, and you hardly know if you spoke at all but his response confirms you did.

He walks back over to you and your feet are stuck in cement. He stops when he's behind you. You can hear his breathing behind you so you know he’s actually there, he's real and this is real.

“You know I watch you right? Does it frighten you?”

“No colonel.”

“None of that here, not anymore. Just König ok Süßes Mädchen

Your knees actually nearly do give out this time, God he’s too much. Your breathing is quick now and you feel feverish he’s not even touching you yet but standing there and you don’t know what will kill you first your rapid heart rate or the anticipation.

“You want me, Ja?

“God yes.” You nearly whine and he lets out a deep laugh. He readjusts his stance.

“Do you usually get this worked up before you’re even touched?” His voice is lighter now, he’s teasing.

“Only for you.” You say almost immediately.

“Say that again.” His voice is dark again and it makes your stomach twirl.

“Only for you König.” You’ve stepped headfirst into the lion’s den and you know there's no going back from this, you thought it was just a silly crush but this is so much more, for the both of you.

He inhales deeply and lets it out, even with his mask you can feel it lightly on the back of your head. 

His head is spinning with thoughts of what he wants to do to you, you were making him crazy. 

“Ich schwöre bei Gott, Liebling, du wirst mein Tod sein.” [I swear to God darling, you will be my death.] You're not sure what he said but you hear his groan at the end so it must be erotic. 

“Konig, please.”

“Shhh quiet Schätzchen.” 

There's a beat of silence and you think your heart stops then you feel his hand on your back. It travels up until he gets to your hair, he grabs a handful of it but doesn't pull or tug, just holds. You’re growing wetter by the minute and you ache deeply. You rub your thighs together and that’s when he pulls. 

He tugs you back into him and your head is pointed up now so he's looking directly down at you. You whimper and his eyes are nearly pitch black as he stares at you, he drinks you in as if you’re the last bit of water on earth.

“Scheisse you know if we do this there is not going back, I will not let you lay with another and I will never lay with anyone besides you.” His words echo in your head and you weigh your options,

Option A: sleep with König, your superior and maybe face some very serious consequences.

or…

Options B: go back to your room and absolutely resort you what’s in your bedside drawer to relieve yourself…..

Survey says, option A all the way.

“I wouldn't want it any other way sir.” You make sure to say it extra breathily as to draw him into the spiral he's sent you into.

His grip tightens ever so before he releases and you stumble a bit but a hand on your waist catches you and the coals within you are stoked even more to where they rage into an inferno.

“I would like to share more of myself with you eventually but for now... This will have to do.”

He says no more before fabric is enclosed around your eyes and your vision darkens. It must be his regular mask because it smells so strongly of him it makes you dizzy, his scent all encompassing.

“König.”

“My name sounds so sweet when it comes from your lips, I beg to hear more of it.”

His hands, both of them, are on your middle now he holds you steady and moves them upwards and cups your breasts above your uniform you let out a soft breath.

He closes his eyes and inhales deep against your crown.

“I knew you would smell wonderful Mein Schatz. You feel like heaven in my hands you know that?”

His hands move to the buttons of your uniform and he wastes no time in discarding it to the ground along with your undershirt. 

“Turn around.” 

You turn around and he once again grabs tight on your hair pulling your head back and exposing your neck.

He pulls up his baklava knowing he won’t be seen.

He bites.

Hard.

You let out a shameless moan and quickly slap a hand over your mouth, but he grabs your wrist and holds it behind you back your other hand is grabbing onto his hair.

“You’ll express your pleasure. I want everyone to hear so they know I’m occupied.”

He’s sucking dark bruises into your neck and leaving teeth marks in his wake. He lavishes in the way your skin tastes. He knows you sweat at some point today and your perfume is on his tongue.

“König please, I need more.”

“Gladly.” You feel him smile on your skin.

Next thing you know you’re spun around again and you’re pushed down over the desk his hand heavy on your neck.

“Stay.” He commands.

His hand is removed and he works at your pants pulling them down and to your ankles, he slides his hands all around the newly exposed skin and you hear his drop to his knees.

“Mein Gott, you are something to behold, you are beautiful you know that?”

You blush the heat growing hotter between your thighs.

There’s no time to respond before he’s diving into your heat tongue hot and wet upon you as he sucks and licks like his life depends on it.

“You taste divine, I could die here and die a happy man Liebling, scheiße” 

You moan and your cheek touches the cold wood of the desk as he continues his ravaging.

“König please, I need-need more.”

He hears your pleas and it spurs him on, he’s desperately hard in his pants and palms at it a few times before collecting your wetness and entering one then two fingers. 

“Is this enough for you? Or do you need more? So bedürftig.” He teases as he pumps them in the out in a come-hither motion getting quicker and quicker. 

Your breathing picks up. It’s in short pants now as you get close and closer to the edge. He can feel you squeezing his fingers tighter and he latches his mouth back on as his fingers works faster.

“Come on Schatz give me a show.” He smiles and teases and he just can’t get enough even as you try to thrash and tense on his fingers reaching your high you chant his name and he’s heard nothing sweeter.

“You make such beautiful noises Meine Liebe .” He bites at the inside of your thighs as he stands.

You hear a belt buckle and a zipper undone, mouthwatering in anticipation as you’re still coming down from your previous high.

He takes himself out and strokes it slowly a few times placing a hard harshly on your hip as he lines himself up and teases the tip at your entrance.

He’s massive compared to you and he’s burning up looking and predicting the way you’ll feel around him.

“Schatz, one last chance to change your mind.” He grits through his teeth.

“Please König, I need you badly.” 

He takes not a second longer after you answer to sink fully into you and to say you’re surprised is an understatement. He’s huge, incredible deliciously huge and the stretch of him knocks the breath from your lungs and he bends over you, his whole body laying just above you so his mouth is right next to your ear.

“You feel even more incredible than I could ever dream, you wrap around me so sweetly.”

He pulls back and braces both of his hands on your hips with a bruising grip and starts moving, he’s deliberate and calculated with his movements thrusting deep and harsh.

You moan loudly with the blindfold all your other senses are heightened. You grasp and scratch behind you trying to slow his movements you mind hazy with only thought of how good he’s making you feel. 

“P-please, god König.” You can hardly make out your own thoughts, he groans and continues his onslaught of torture on you.

You try to slow him again but this time he takes a hold of your wrists and slams them down onto the desk. You continue to moan with abandonment.

“You’ll take what given to you, understand?” He leans down and kisses your cheek, panting you can feel the sweat on his face combining with yours.

Leaning back, he watches the way he enters you and the noises are unholy, seeing you bent over his desk so willing and drunk off of him nearly makes him cum right then and there.

Suddenly a knock at the door.

He doesn’t stop and you clamp both hands over your mouth now. He growls deep in his chest.

“Busy.” He grits out.

They knock again but he doesn’t stop.

“Are you fucking kidding me? c’mon be a good girl and let them know I’m busy.” His accent is heavy and laced with need.

You can hardly think straight and his words sound underwater. You only become semi-conscious again when he picks you by your shoulder, up holding you up to his chest by your neck as he continues his onslaught.

“Take your hands off your mouth unless you want me to tie those up too, I told you to tell them I’m busy.” He growls right by your ear and he thrust particularly hard and deep you choke on your sobs and a moan rips from your throat. It’s so erotic you hardly recognize yourself, the last knock was cut short, and you hear quick shuffling down the hallway. 

“Braves Mädchen, so good for me. Fuck, need you to cum with me I won’t last much longer.”

“F-fuuck don’t stop.”

The coil within you is growing and winding and you feel you’re heading headfirst into a spiral panting and calling his name with no care for the outside world you reach up and claw at what you can reach of his expansive shoulders certainly leaving marks and he groans and grinds to show his appreciation.

“Cmon, give it to me, give it to me.” He says, each thrust his hand on your hips growing even tighter and his thrusts getting sloppy as he nears his high. He grips your jaw now slipping a finger into your mouth and you taste yourself on them and the coil snaps.

Your ears are ringing, white blinds your vision, and you’re overcome with oxytocin unlike no other.

König fills you deeply grinding to the hilt so none of him is left exposed.

You feel boneless and limp in his arms but completely and utterly satisfied.

The blindfold is removed and he’s tapping your cheek, the finger that was in your mouth leaving spit in its wake but you have no care.

“Y/N, Y/N, come in back to me Schatz.” You open your eyes and hum.

“So good.” You hiccup and you see he has his baklava fully on but his eyes are crescent shape, his eyes look lovely when he’s smiling.

“I take it you enjoyed yourself?” He’s pulling out and you wince but he’s quickly pulling his desk chair out for you to sit and gain you sanity back.

“That’s putting it lightly...” you can’t seem to wipe the dumb smile plastered on your face.

He’s pulling up his pants and re-buckling his belt, you get butterflies watching him do it.

He then walks to what looks like a bathroom connected to the office, coming back with a washcloth and cleans you gently kissing the top of your head.

“Cmon let’s get you dressed then yeah. As much as I love seeing you in my chair like that, we’ll play that scenario out another day.” He picks up your panties and stuffs them into his pocket and helps you put on your pants.

“I need those König.” 

“I’ll buy you some more, these are for my personal collection.” You huff, legs feeling like jelly, and he rubs your back as you’re buttoning your jacket.

“Very well, I won’t fight a losing battle for those, at least they’re not my favorite pair-

“I’d like those as well.”

“Stop it!” You both laugh and he sounds so wonderful worry free. 

He gives you some water and sits back at his desk. You stand in the same spot you were in before everything happened.

“That was a great pleasure and I hope it brought you the same.” God he’s so formal after just rearranging your guts, you laugh like a schoolgirl.

“I did, I um, would love to do this again, or just spend more time with you.”

His heart lights up and he knows he’s got you for good,

“Schatz, my door is always open to you, granted both my office and bedroom door.” He winks at you and you blush.

You walk to the door and look back at him before you leave.

“Don’t forget about those papers I brought you.” You fake authority.

“Yes ma’am.” He laughs and watches you until the door is closed.

He takes your panties out of his pocket already missing your presence next to him, next time can’t come soon enough.

[maggstar]

𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐃𝐢𝐞

───────────────────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹────────────────────

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 18+, mni DNI!

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 365 days since the incident, in which Heeseung's life turned upside down, is today. Will he be able to save her this time?

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut, hard angst, veryyy emotional, trauma bonding/coping, cop!Hee (injured reader, guns, shooting, kidnapping, violence, death) kissing, biting, marking, handjob, oral (f. receiving) , fingering, vanilla, very intimiate and loving unprotected s3x, missionary, spooning, lotus.

!!!TW: ED, suicidal thoughts, mentioned attempts, s3lf harm (both characters)

𝐖𝐂: 21k+ (ehm..., yea)

𝐀/𝐍: Finally. It is here. this one is for ♡ anon. ily. I want to say I loved writing this whole fic even though it was emotionally difficult. I wrote about heavy topics, so please be aware before reading as this might not be everyone's cup of tea! Both characters are in pretty messed up mental states, but their love to each other is what keeps them going. I hope you guys enjoy this fic as I never put this much effort into any fic before.

Please leave any sort of feedback: reblogging and commenting is the best for me, so let me know!! ───────────────────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹────────────────────

As Heeseung approached the town, he immediately recognized the steep, rocky road that led to the street of his most ominous memories. Despite the passing of a year, everything remained the same. The familiar layout felt like coming home after years of being abroad. In a way, he had been. 

He found it amusing how visiting his past brought such mixed feelings. Given how messed up things were before his departure, he was afraid to face all the negative emotions. Merely thinking about the events crawled an uncanny sensation. 

Yet, here he was, letting the comforting sentimentality alight on his heart and beam at the faint breeze entering through his window as he soaked up the evocative atmosphere. It had a hint of gloom as the rain amplified with his reappearance, making the ominous night colder than usual. Goosebumps took over his body, observing the surroundings while the car shifted its gear to neutral. 

The park was abandoned at this time, reminiscing on the children's laughter in the evenings, playing for hours without a care. He liked to come there after work, sit for a few minutes, and listen to them. They still had the monkey bars and pirate-themed wooden ship in the middle of the playground, which he helped paint. 

He examined the residences next to his old one, all appearing the same. Looking at the colorful houses with picturesque gardens pierced an arduous nostalgia. A few had undergone reconstructions as the previous owners seemed to have parted. 

Some even had new furniture or repainting, their garages containing bigger and more luxurious vehicles. New additions like swings or slides for children were also notable. A small number of areas were also seemingly building new homes for the future, expanding the population in the tainted town.

With a glance beside, he examined the house he spent his student years in. 

"Would you look at that," he scoffed, studying the untouched exterior, still covered in that sensational buttermilk paint. 

Even the pecan concrete tiles on the roof were there, with additional solar panels. The current owners also installed a masonry chimney to the side - something he had always wished for but couldn't afford. 

They were definitely more knowledgeable in Botanics than he was. The garden looked completely different. The condition Heeseung left it in was atrocious, with dead flowers and dried weeds scattering the place. Zora Neale Hurston once quoted: "Trees and plants always look like the people they live with." He didn't know if this disclosure was comical or tragic, heavily soughing instead. 

Currently, the place had more of a Japanese style: a little lake in the middle underneath beautiful white lotuses. Oak and cherry trees surrounded the layout, whereas perfectly cut bonsai trees greeted passers-by in the front. The family likely had their roots there because it was uncommon to opt for this type in this area. Yet again, he was inexperienced in this topic, so who was he to say anything? 

He sighed, lowering his head to take a deep breath to process all the garnering memories reaching the surface from the seabed. It was bound to happen, and he still didn't manage to prepare for it. 

Back then, there was too much weight on his shoulders. From college to his family, there was only so much a teenager could handle. 90% of his memories were the ones he sincerely wished to omit evermore. He didn't want to rub salt into his wounds by reliving them, aiming to concentrate on the better side.

After all, it was this place he achieved and lost everything at once. The city that welcomed the lost pup with open arms after the death of his parents, soothing with empty promises and fraudulent head pats. 

Back then, he was too naive to differentiate malicious intentions, foolishly jumping onto every proposition. He thought people wanted to help and not take advantage of his incapacity, that they would aid the broken one with the loving words he needed. 

Fundamentally, he was an emotional wreck, emptiness and numbness following him all day. 

There wasn't anyone left in his life, just miscellaneous pictures gathered in a photo album and recollections of happy moments in carton boxes. Going through their belongings hurt more than anything, smudging their smiles with tears and repeated callouts to which no one could respond anymore. 

In other words, it was the worst period of his life.

His nights were established on puffy eyes, a terrible headache, and a stuffy nose, suffering in silence for months. The money he was supposed to spend on food went to tissues, trashing the whole place. Getting up in the mornings was incredibly demanding, failing often at convincing himself. Staying in and laying in his PJs permanently tolled more promising.

No one seemed to care about his late arrival to classes anyway. The teachers were the exclusive individuals, questioning his defect of attendance and interest. They often came to various false conclusions. They didn't consider asking for the real reason behind his struggles at handing in assignments and essays on time without lying to dodge admonitions. 

In the same way, no one doubted the sunglasses he wore every day. They assumed it was part of a fashion trend when, in reality, it was an excuse to hide the redness and semicircle exhaustion. 

The clothes that fit him weeks ago began loosening, appearing enormous on his underweight body. When his friends pointed out his lack of appetite during lunch, he put it behind him and led the conversation in another direction. That way, he felt he had control over reality. 

In reality, he knew it was avoidance. He wasn't ready to concede he was struggling. Something wasn't alright, and he deteriorated with each passing day. 

Reminiscing on the past, optimistic Heeseung wearing a warming smile mirrored the numb motionlessness, not containing enough confidence to face the drastic and tragic change.

The only courageous people were the Choi family. 

He turned his head to the left, catching a glimpse of the elderly couple sitting at the table inside their closed terrace. They were laughing and enjoying dinner, accompanied by two other people, handing out the freshly grilled food on their plates. A little boy was attending the meal as well, gesturing widely. He leaned forward to examine the guests, scanning their faces. For some reason, they were so familiar...

"No way," a gasp forsake, realizing that turn of events. 

The handsome, tall young man with an athletic build was no other than Choi Hyun-woo, the son of the married pair. Heeseung facepalmed himself for taking so long to figure out his identity, doubting his dexterities.

His parents had introduced the two after a few weeks of Heeseung visiting. Around that time, he was in a custody battle with his dangerous wife. That adjective was an understatement when considering her malicious threats. They were predominantly about hurting their son if he didn't leave her alone or running away with him.

That wasn't the only crazy part. The more unsettling information he learned, the more he feared for the safety of the small boy. Besides being mentally unstable, she also struggled with psychosis. The doctors warned her countless times, but she didn't reflect on any of their words when entering a new relationship. If anyone was the victim in this situation, it was Hyun-woo. 

Seeing them reunited was all he could have ever wished for them, smiling at the cheerful sight. 

"Thank you for being here for us, Heeseung. We just want you to know we're also here for you," he could hear the oldster sighing while patting his back, sensing the weariness from the mere flicker.

"We're all humans in the end. Even the strongest ones cannot lift the weight the world pushes on us." The stogie burned further whenever he would take a whiff, passing it on for a moment of peace.

"Life hasn't been easy on you, has it?" the bearded man turned to face the youngster, quietly sitting and observing the night sky. 

"No, sir, it hasn't," he took the long roll of tobacco to try it out, analyzing its shape and thickness.

"Pretending to be happy when you're in pain is an example of how strong you are as a person, Lee."

"Never doubt your strength, you hear me?" he repeatedly swung his index finger to reprimand him. 

"Yessir," Heeseung nodded before inhaling the cigar, not foreseeing its power. On the other hand, the veteran couldn't help but enjoy the outcome, laughing as he expectorated. 

"How can you smoke this?" he punched his chest numerous times to get the bubble of smoke out of his system. 

"Times were different back in my days. We had nothing else."

"Still..."

"Do one thing for me," the senior flipped the page, taking another load and slowly exhaling a white cloud into the cold fall night. Heeseung faced him after successfully getting rid of the awful irritation in his throat. He sat there, waiting for another round of sagacious words from the wise man. 

"Don't give up. Whatever it takes, don't give up, son. Even when you feel like there's no purpose, don't because nothing lasts forever. It will get better."

It was those words that made Heeseung push through the days. It was almost unbelievable how much of an impact it had on him. Never in a million years would he have thought a motivational speech could get him back on his feet. Then again, he never gave anyone a chance to see behind his facade.

Although they were the ones who required assistance, Heeseung ended up receiving all of the help. 

"Have you eaten? No? That's unacceptable! Come over as soon as you're done with school!"

Mrs. Choi's disappointment still rang through his ears, envisioning her in her French kitchen with a spatula in her hand. It was a vista he missed, alongside the delectable smell of her exceptional cooking.

She constantly checked on him, calling once his school was over and asking if he needed anything. Cooking him meals became a habit whenever he stopped by to help in the garden, practically shoving packets of food into his chest. She knew it wasn't much, but for Heeseung, it meant the world. Knowing that someone actually appreciated his company and cared about his well-being without solely thinking about theirs was unknown. 

So unknown that in the beginning, he assumed the lunch boxes in his backpack ended up by accident and that Mrs. Choi had mixed it up. 

That's how messed up people have been to him that his mind found it unbelievable. Every bit of aid had to have a twisted meaning behind it because why would anyone care about him? No one was there when he was bereaved. No one came to say their condolences or ask if he was alright. It was just him in the columbarium as he placed the ceramic pot with the last remains of his loved ones into the repository. The sole visitor on his free days, leaving the deceased ones' favorite snacks underneath their memorial. He was the boy the guard always had to wake up and send home. 

"It's just thee, thy, and thou, huh?"

"Yes, Mr. Choi."

It is how he achieved his dream and became a successful officer and the person he is now. 

All the hardships and woes he underwent in his early adulthood built up the future he worked for without resting. The mornings and nights would meld into one, struggling to distinguish AM from PM. Around that time, his coffee intake started slipping out, and he tried out every possibility to stay awake and finish everything. 

So much he had to do in such little time. Heeseung didn't understand how he finished it, but his body did. It was giving up, slowly but gradually, because he wouldn't stop pushing the limits. He thought he could do more each time, twisting the meaning of "just a bit more."

One day, the strings finally tore off, and his body had enough. 

Without looking back, it gave in. It handed in the shattered pieces of his soul to the unknown, streaming down like a feather. Nothing had left within, no recollections to reflect on his actions. All his hopes had dashed, molding his fears into a vase of entrapment. The more he tried to climb out of the well, the deeper he fell back, the walls elevating. He screamed into the darkness, the exclamations reflecting due to the scarcity of allowance. 

The next thing you know, he woke up in an unfamiliar and cold environment, with doctors coming in and out. They kept asking various questions and filling out some forms before leaving. The 

He expected the nurses checking up on him now and then to answer the question marks in his head, watching them flush the tube in his nostrils.

It was when he opened his mouth to ask about it that one of the nurses responded, explaining its essential purpose.

She called it "Nasogastric tube feeding". A line delivering nutrients directly into his stomach through his nose. Heeseung kept listening while the woman cleaned the skin around his nose with a warm washcloth, describing his situation. 

Apparently, he had been in the ICU for a few days, and the doctors ran various tests to unravel his deficiencies. The stats showed the deceleration of cardiac activity, leading to low heart rate and blood pressure. They also mentioned low body temperature, which Heeseung had been battling for centuries. It exemplified why he felt faint and weak all the time. Maybe it even answered his apathy toward life.

The results of his BMI indicated severe underweight, whereas the blood test showcased micronutrient imbalances. Heeseung couldn't fathom all of the details his doctor kept streaming, closing his eyes in a vain attempt to ignore the consequences of his stubbornness and lack of eating. 

Not only did he have to wear a plastic tube, but he also had to talk with dietologists and healthcare professionals to make changes in his life.  

Heeseung loathed it and didn't listen to anything they had to offer because, in his mind, he had already decided what was best for him. Suggestions like attending occupational therapy gave him a laugh, not comprehending the reason for such an absurd and useless alternative. There was still a belief that everything was alright, and the situation was being blown out of proportion. 

Even after all that information, he refused to accept reality. If he did, he would have to reconcile with his aggravating condition and shape. He would have to acknowledge how bad the situation was. That if he didn't take action now, it could end terribly. 

And Heeseung wasn't prepared to admit it aloud. Admit he had been suffering for so long that he lost track of days because they began blending into one endless loop where he couldn't live in peace. Confess the terrible feelings of hopelessness, loneliness, and emptiness. The feeling that he woke up to bypass that motivating bright sun hiding behind those dark, self-destructive clouds. The ones which slowly perished his soul.

Disclose the deep yearning for love, tenderness, and affection lingering in his sore throat. Reveal the hope to knit his tattered heart, wrapping around his neck so delicately that he didn't want it to stop. Divulge the need to end everything trussing in the back of his head, increasing whenever an obstacle occurred, doubting everything about himself. Concede the crossing between life and death, questioning the meaning of existence. 

Relent that the word suicide kept repeating in his mind like an old cassette player, seeing the curse inscribed over everything. Allow the guilt to take over and condemn him for leaning towards the balcony whenever it whispered the word "jump". It conveyed it so alluringly that it made him go crazy, holding onto the railings in pure despair. 

Describe how sharp blades appeared veracious. Explain why he deleted the Google search history to hide the questions on overdoes. 

He wasn't ready, but he had to be. Otherwise, he would ultimately lose himself in the hollowness and disperse forever. 

So, he decided to bite the bullet and push through by turning the page.

Thanks to his determination, he could now sit in a police car and help those in need. Do a job where he could be the person he needed others to be at his lowest. 

There had been one. However, Heeseung was forbidden from ever thinking about that person. 

Why? Because he made the biggest mistake of his life, which he atoned for till today.

A beautiful mistake that he deeply missed every hour, every minute, every second.

"Dispatch to Patrol One," the sudden statistic transmitted through the two-way radio, pulling back the officer from daydreaming. 

"10-04," he quickly responded, grabbing the transmitter and acknowledging the callsign. 

"Are you alright, sir?" the worry conveyed, belonging to none other than Seo-Jun. 

"Yes," He sighed, resting his head on the steering wheel. 

"Sir, pardon me, but you don't sound like it," the young officer evoked, tentative about probing her senior. 

She could hear him repeat the proverb: "Curiosity killed the cat." It wasn't her best trait, and she knew it. It was always these times she couldn't help but push it forward and let concern get the better of her. 

After all, it was Lee Heeseung, the guy who managed to turn her life over. 

If he hadn't helped her escape from her toxic ex-boyfriend last summer, she wouldn't be sitting in the obsolete office now. She was lucky to dial 112 in time and come out alive. If he had been a few minutes late, she could have suffered to death from the undying abuse. The memory was deeply engraved in the depth of her heart, recalling him standing by her side during the hospital procedures. He never wanted to admit it, but he was the town's hero for saving the mayor's daughter. 

Therefore, her gratitude towards him was prodigious. And for the same reason, she wanted to be there for him during tough times. No matter how hard she tried, her approach would emerge unsuited and unfit each time. People told her to get ahold of her steps countless times, and she still made the same slips every time. Nevertheless, she didn't give up and reached out to dial the official. 

"Seo-Jun, I-"

"My apologies, sir. I've crossed my line," she hastily tried to cover up her actions, slapping her forehead for being nosy and pushy. 

"I'm not okay," the voice on the other side emitted into the discomfiting silence, a heavy sigh following the statement. Seo-Jun opened her eyes to perceive the sentence, staring at the floor beneath her as the declaration reiterated in her brain. She widened her pupils when she finally realized what he had uttered, almost falling off her chair after swiftly turning and grabbing back the radio. 

"Sir, is this about the note you've received?"

"What note?" he frowned, backing up. 

"Well, you've got a message on your account, and you know it goes through me first, so I might have accidentally read what was on it-"

"What note are you talking about?" The stern change in speech startled her, contemplating if it was due to her admitting her horrible demeanor or the want of information. 

"The one that states: Broadway 123, 11:30 PM," she reread the email, stuffing her mouth with another strawberry-flavored lollipop. At this point, it was a miracle her teeth hadn't fallen out yet. 

"Any signatures?"

"Just two initials: K.J."

Heeseung's stomach dropped at the revelation, which only confirmed his prior thoughts. It was the 13th of March, after all. What was he thinking?

He looked at the time on the display, typing in the coordinates to the navigation. It showed an estimated arrival in 15 minutes. His jaw clenched, attempting to pulverize the inexhaustible alarm ringing in his skull.

"Fuck, why didn't you tell me earlier?" his panic disseminated into anger, hastily starting up the car. He grabbed the gearstick, his leg pressing the accelerator. 

"I'm sorry, sir. I thought you knew about it."

"You know goddamn well I never check my email," he shifted to 3rd gear already, turning on the emergency lights on the car. They switched from one color to the other, the sound of sirens following right after every blick. 

"I'm really sorry, sir, but what does it even tell? It sounds dangerous."

"Cause it is," Heeseung cut her off, "and that's why you should have told me earlier." 

Seo-jun's voice went quiet, the time on the call prolonging without either side speaking. 

She had nothing to say, as she realized the severity of her actions. 

Frankly, she had difficulty understanding the whole situation and why it aggravated Heeseung this much. She stared at the email, trying to find a hidden clue or something that would cure her curiosity. 

Despite her attempts, she ended with disappointment, leaning back on the chair with a loud sigh. 

She turned her head to the side while Heeseung turned his back on the road, which was moderately clean, with no traffic jams preventing him from reaching his destination. Most cars quickly reacted to the situation and pulled to the side of the road. 

He looked in the rear mirror, seeing a silhouette sitting in the backseat with blood all over her face, a faded smile visible. 

"Help her, I beg you," The voice echoed in his ears as he made a left, entering the mentioned street. 

He fought the unwanted shakiness in his body, the sentence replaying like a broken cassette, causing him to break down the walls he had built in the past months.

He had to be more collected. His duty was to stay calm under pressure and not to invoke panic, but here he was, gripping the wheel too much. His nails began to hurt from the prolonged force, eyes ungluing from the road for a split second. He looked at his image in the mirror, sensing a faint taste of blood. There, he could see the deep cut on his lip, his teeth responsible for choosing the wrong coping mechanism. 

He could also see the same hopeless look as the one on that day, anger building up from within to curse him for being a wreck in such a crucial situation again. The consequences of it taunted him, internally punching him for his incompetence. An officer who couldn't control his emotions was the same one trying to rescue someone. He couldn't even stop himself from deteriorating, and here he was, seeking to thwart others.

It was all foolish, just like he was at this moment. 

What a fool he was for wanting a chance to right the wrongs. 

Without a second thought, Heeseung immediately parked near the reported location, practically jumping out of the car. He checked if his gun was locked and loaded again before heading out. 

He looked around, eyes looking for potential gang associates in the surroundings. He expected at least some bodyguards or watchdogs near the building, but no one was around. Grabbing his flashlight, he took an overhand grip, shortening the distance to the building with each cautious but fast step. 

The residence was outdated, definitely abandoned by the looks of its upkeep. What seemed like a factory was now an empty, deserted residence. No one had visited this place for a long time. 

He approached the door, reaching the porch to see if anything was happening inside. 

The front door was locked from the other side, the darkness concealing the image inside. Heeseung had to go through the back to enter, listening for any noise on his way. It was too quiet for his liking, not a single peep emanating from the residence. He climbed over the wire fence, sucking up the pain the metal left after puncturing his skin. 

Nothing was more important than reaching inside.

He did suspect the message, wondering if it was another prank pulled by the bored teenagers. Sadly, it happened quite too often, with them lining up the emergency number and creating false stories to bring out the hirelings for their entertainment.

Still, none of them knew about his past, so the chances were nearly impossible. Not even his colleagues knew why he decided to take a day off today. They had zero keen on why this day was so important for him. They had no idea it was this day that turned his life around.

He took a position behind the wall as he glanced for the back door, peeking out carefully. To his surprise, it was wide open, bestowing him an entrance. 

He approached it slowly, looking out for a possible intruder since the unusual stillness wasn't preventing the tension in his muscles from stiffening. When he met no obstacles, he determined it was clear to proceed, stepping inside.

The uneven concrete underneath welcomed him back, permitting a path towards the middle. Just like last time, he thought to himself, before approaching the cursed center. 

Here.

It all happened here.

It was where he found Seo-Jun. Right here. 

He could see the silhouette in the wooden chair, bound by duct tape. He could still feel the hopelessness and helplessness.

A supposed rescue mission turned into a shootout, in which he had zero back-ups to overcome the opponents. 6v1, and Heeseung barely came out alive, with one bullet shot in his right arm. The female he was supposed to save bled out on the spot because of fatal injuries, and there was nothing he could do to help her. He tried so hard to stop the bleeding and apply as much pressure as he could in his injured condition. All just to witness her slowly part away in his arms with a painful "thank you".

Heeseung blamed himself for her death till today. After all, he was the one to blame for it. That's what her parents kept repeating.

"Murderer! It was your job to protect her!"

"She's dead because of you!"

"It should have been you who died, not her!"

They were right. 

He agreed with everything they said. It was the truth. He had failed, and there was nothing he could do to bring her back. 

Nightmares of the terror night practically became the fairytale of his sleep. He would wake up drenched in sweat, pushing himself to successfully save her in his dreams. He was so close but so far away at the same time. 

It was all humorous. How returning to this unfortunate place stirred the wrong memories. How it managed to discern the familiar gut-wrenching feeling in his system. The one he had to take medication for every day to keep his head clear. To stop seeing the silhouettes of her everywhere. 

"Seo-Jun, don't do this to me," his head dropped to his feet, refusing to reexperience his trauma. 

"You're not here anymore," he bit down on his lip, gulping down the ascending guilt.

"But it's not me, Heeseung." 

His eyes rose, staring at the silhouette. They struggled to decipher the person in front of them, barely having the energy to stay open. 

He stepped closer, his heavy steps echoing through the enormous vacant room. He was expecting it to disappear as it was a part of his imagination. However, it stayed there, clear as a day.  

It was her.

Not her her, but her.

The voice that haunted him every night in his nightmares. The one that begged him to save her sister from those psychopaths, putting the last bits of hope into him. The screams replayed in his nightmares when he had come out with her sister in his arms, barely holding the victim as he was close to passing out himself. They soon turned into weeps, coughing up the pain in her system, unable to stop her body from shaking at the sight of her sibling in agonizing pain. 

He remembered the way she looked up at him while the paramedics carried her inside the ambulance, face covered in shock and desperation. 

It was as if both knew the outcome awaiting them in the hospital, not prepared to admit the painful reality. They wanted to pretend like they didn't know, even if it was only for a minute. 

He recalled her running after the car, legs giving out in the middle, getting up over and over again without thinking twice about the damage on her knees. 

The same pain he felt back then kicked in right now, pounding into his stomach because despite disappointing her, she was the one who checked up on him in the ER. She was the only person who turned up. The only one worried about his condition, holding in the tears.

"I know my sister was glad someone tried. That someone cared and wanted to save her."

"I'm happy to know that the last face she saw was yours and not those bastards'."

"Mr. Lee, thank you. Thank you for everything."

Despite everything, she said those words to him, managing to smile at him before leaving. He felt her release the painful ache through the door, mourning for the lost one as the hospital tiles created a path stained with sorrow. 

"It's your chance, Heeseung."

"To do what you couldn't with me."

He looked around to glimpse a ghost of Seo-Jun, to believe it was all real and not a part of his disturbed imagination. 

But she was nowhere to be found. 

It was Y/N instead, encircled by the cause of her sister's death.

The same person he stopped visiting every day after the incident, too thoughtless to leave her all alone in that big city while the perpetrators roamed around freely. 

He thought it would have been for the better to give her space to grieve properly, without him appearing at the door to remind her of the incident. 

She never complained, though, but rather showed her gratitude for the concern, not managing to function alone with her parents passing on their sadness to her. 

It was a difficult time for her to be in, especially alone. That's why Heeseung's presence brought her the peace and comfort she needed. He helped her move out her sister's furniture, going as far as to seclude a deal to sell the apartment so the family could have a proper funeral, which he ended up attending himself. 

Her parents weren't exactly hiding their anger at his presence at such a personal event, holding him accountable for the happening of the ceremony. 

However, she was the one who had invited him. She chewed their disapproval and asked him to stay beside her. She needed someone to hold on during the event, both mentally and physically, thankful for his hand lingering on hers as she watched her other half disappear into the ground. 

He stayed with her for a long time after that, coming every morning to help her get out of bed and get ready for the day, becoming her caregiver for the following weeks. 

She was suffering inside, and he could tell by her blankly staring into the walls, movements so slow it looked like it hurt. It was difficult to convince her to eat, noticing the loss in appetite she kept ignoring, blaming it on her stomach troubles. 

Nonetheless, she never protested when he wanted to feed her, always cooking or ordering something from outside. She felt like a baby in those moments, with him practically begging her to open her mouth, putting a smile on her face instead. 

They talked a lot over those weeks, with Heeseung opening up about his past and traumatic childhood, sharing the fragments of his parent's death and how it has affected him. He talked about the car accident, the one he was also in. He was the sole survivor, the sole person to exit the hospital and not be transferred into the morgue.

He had never told anyone before, and conveying the lingering heartache was such a relief that he couldn't stop talking, gathering up every detail he had in his memories. 

In a way, it connected the two more, having gone through the tragedy of losing a loved one. Y/N couldn't help but notice the feeling of safety in his company. The more he transmitted, the closer she felt, like she could trust him with her whole life.

While she was fully aware of the effects he was having on her, Heeseung was too busy focusing on her condition to catch the sparkles of joy. 

Whenever she opened the door to him, he couldn't help but beam. His heart would fill up with contentment, dopamine levels increasing at the brief touches they shared, hiding the butterflies amassing inside. It was wrong for him to catch feelings after everything he caused her, and the guilt expanded in his chest at the realization.

Unfortunately, he wasn't the only one who had caught up on the situation. Soon enough, her parents personally contacted him and asked to meet without their daughter's knowledge. They were the real reason for his departure, the why for abandoning her when she needed him the most. 

He never had the opportunity to tell her the truth, to tell her he didn't go on his will but was forced into that decision. He wished he could have told her he was threatened with being sued and losing his career forever due to their belief about his negligence on the mission. Either that or he had to leave her alone and go as far away as possible if he didn't want his life to be over. 

That is what he meant when he said he was a coward: a coward who couldn't even tell the truth. It followed him wherever he went, the mere image of her constantly transmitting in his thoughts.  

And now, the image was trapped in another nightmare with little time, falling into his hands yet again. 

This wasn't how he wanted to meet up, but fate had its way of managing things. The only thing Heeseung knew was that he couldn't let her down again. 

She had to come out of here alive.

No matter what it would take.

"You came," a raspy voice loomed from the darkness, causing Heeseung to hastily stand up and point his gun at its origin. 

His stomach dropped when he locked gazes with the criminal. 

"Kang Joon-Woo."

"It is I indeed," he fixed his tie covered in a fleur de lis pattern, showing off his wealth in the black tuxedo. His auburn slick hair drew attention to his green eyes, which turned stone cold once his gaze landed on the officer in front. They were empty, vacant, without any emotion. It was like staring into a deep well at night, manifesting fright and unpleasantness. 

"It's a pleasure to meet you again, Mr. Lee." his silver crown shone as the moonlight sheathed his face, lowering his head before looking back at him again. He exuded the same stare that day, slicing through deeply and threatening with its lethal power. 

Kang Joon-Woo, one of the lead rings of the cooperation of Kang Holding, was the chairman and the mastermind of the whole operation a year ago. Kang Jun-Seo was his right hand, more like a lap dog. 

They were both known criminals in the district he used to work in, successful businessmen who led one of the most influential companies in the city. They ran many hotels scattered over the country, using them as a front to conceal their actual intents by managing and commencing new deals. 

Beneath the surface, they hid several classified secrets, ordering various exchanges between dangerous parties. Some reports revealed drug usage and distribution, contacts with the black market, and even active participation on the deep web.

However, their main focus was on sex trafficking, exploiting young women for their income. It has been going on for many years, with the two predators selling out females to different countries, motivated by the big numbers on the cheque. They were both aware of how these girls would end up, forced to become objects for whoever had bought them. That was the twisted part in itself. The fact that the two went off to doing this.

He found out himself when he got ordered to take over one of these cases since the department had a lead and had a high chance of uncovering the trafficker's location, hopeful about the retrieval. So was Heeseung, especially after the Chief of Police had picked him out personally for the case along with two other ambitious corporals as the sergeant was sick that week, unable to operate. It was his biggest chance to prove himself and stand out amongst his coworkers. 

"Months of searching, and now I have you both at my feet," the snarky laugh punctured through.

"What have you done to her?" Heeseung looked back at Y/N from the corner of his eye, unable to bypass her drugged state. He knew he had to act before it was too late, struggling to piece a plan together at the revelation. 

"I just gave her some candy. You know the ones that bring you to another dimension?" he pulled out a pack of Arrirangs from his pockets, finding the whole situation hilarious. It was uproarious to watch the terror in Heeseung's eyes, darting from the girl back to him. 

"You fucker," Heeseung quickly hovered over her, checking her pulse and breathing. 

"Calm down," he scoffed in amusement, taking a whiff of the toxic elements his body lacked. "I need her to be alive as well." 

"What do you want?"

"Come on, Heeseung. You're smart enough to know," a sigh parted in the heavy ambiance, playing with the cigar between his fingers.

"You know goddamn well someone has to pay for the losses you caused on that day."

"Leave her out of it. She has done nothing."

"Who called you on us?"

"She did the right thing. They just chose the wrong officer."

"Fucking pathetic indeed. You couldn't even save her in the end, could you?" the man burst into laughter, brushing back his hair. He was loving every second of this.

"Since you failed to save her. Now, we need someone to replace her place."

"Jun-Seo was thinking about this beauty right here, but I told him it was too dangerous. Didn't I, brother?"

Heeseung froze at the callout, feeling the mentioned one's presence behind him. He also felt the weapon pointed at his head, threatening to be blasted at a slight movement. Every possible curse flashed in his mind, all pointing towards him.

He was screwed.

"Drop it," the baritone ordered. 

Before he could even look at the famous criminal, the man punched him in his back, amplifying his directive. Heeseung had no other option but to comply, slowly placing his gun on the floor. The guy immediately kicked away the weapon, far away from their reach. He stood there with his hands aloft, looking back at the man ahead.

"And what did I also say?" his tongue clicked, putting on a pair of black leather gloves.

"To have her, we must get rid of the cop."

"That's right." He snickered, approaching the injured girl. 

"Poor girl, she has no idea what's happening," his fingers wrapped around her neck, snickering at the beauty. He turned her face to the side, his filthy eyes scanning her features.

"Don't touch her!" Heeseung shouted, attempting to step closer.

"You better calm down." 

"Or do you want my brother to pull the trigger already?" her hair twirled around his finger, "I want her to see it first." He quickly pulled onto it, causing her head to fall with the snatch.

"No, she has nothing to do with this. I killed your men, not her. Let her go, now!" 

"I'm afraid I cannot do that, Heeseung. My client wants a replacement for his previous loss."

"And we decided to give him the other sister," the twin snickered, licking his lips. 

"You're fucking sick." Heeseung looked at the man above Y/N, passing on a distrustful smile. 

"I think we have waited far too long for this one," The snarky laugh punctured through, running his hands on her exposed thighs. 

"I said don't fucking touch her!" 

The delinquent just laughed and took a knife, putting it under her neck. He played with her hair, leaning closer to her ear, whispering something, and smirking right after. Whatever it was, Heeseung was sure it was appalling and lewd. 

"So," the edge of the weapon traveled down her T-shirt, "I'm going to have my fun." He sneered as its sharpness cut the clothing in two, exposing her body to the filthy losers. 

"And you're going to watch."

"You fucking piece of shit!" he jumped the guy, not thinking twice about it. They both rolled down the floor, one trying to keep the weapon, whereas the other risked to grab it. 

"I'll kill you. Right here, right now," Heeseung hissed, head-bumping him as soon as he had the opportunity. 

"You fucker," Joon-woo immediately covered his nose, staining his hand with his very own blood. He was sure it was broken, but it wasn't enough to stop him from returning the favor. 

Heeseung looked back at the other brother, who attempted to shoot the man in black, raising his arm to carry out the movement. 

However, Heeseung was quicker, avoiding the fatal hit by rolling over in time. He still had Joon-woo on his back, getting on his hands to perform a leg sweep. With that, he fell on his back, pushing all the air out of his lungs with a curse.

"You are dead meat, Mr. Lee," the man coughed out, barely having the energy to properly look him in the eye.

Heeseung knew he was minutes away from another blast from Jun-Seo's gun. Without wasting time, he quickly stood up and ran into the other perpetrator with full force. He successfully knocked both of them over, the firearm vanishing in the far distance. The stunt in the movement allowed him to yank and throw the firearm into the far distance. 

"Get him!" the other twin ordered, quickly taking out his Glock 19 to point it at Heeseung. Jun-Seo got on his feet again, shooting a death glare. Despite not having anything to defend himself with, he relied on his strength, rushing to him. His arm extended toward Heeseung's direction, and a sudden hand appeared in front of his face. 

"I should have killed both of you when I had the chance," Heeseung panted, evading each punch like a pro. It was too easy to fight with such an incompetent loser like him, managing to switch positions in the meantime. 

"We should have gotten rid of you two sooner," Joon-woo yelled, shooting into the brawl. He only didn't predict Heeseung doing the unthinkable by pushing the brother in front of him. The bullet entered the wrong body, disappearing in Jun-Seo's chest with a loud gasp. 

"No!" The shooter yelled at the turn of events, watching his twin fall to the ground right next to his feet. He panted in pain and brought his hands to the wound his sibling unintentionally caused, his eyelids losing their tension as his pupils dilated. 

"You piece of shit!" The scourge unleashed from between his lips, a pair of heartless eyes darting back. He looked back to see the cop with his gun right back where it belonged, pointed at him, the main suspect.

"You did all of this just for this stupid bitch!" He raised his arm, turning in the direction of the abducted innocence. 

"Step away from her," Heeseung yelled, blood rushing through his veins.

It was a relief to have taken down one of the obstacles in his way without getting his hands dirty. Nevertheless, there was still the main problem standing in front of him, aiming to assassinate his victim. 

He knew the sicko could pull off a dangerous stunt since his actions were unpredictable, scanning the expressions on his face. He was expecting furrowed brows, hands clenched into fists, or a death glare at least. 

All he got was a loud sigh, followed by a prolongated laughter. The kind of laughter you would hear The Joker do in a quarrel with Batman whenever the two would argue. It was almost as if he was amused or pleased with the outcome, even though his brother was lying inches away in a puddle of blood, practically minutes away from dying.

"You really are a jokester, Mr. Lee," he lowered his gun, ignoring the confusion on the cop's face.

He just passed on a stare and a scowl, fidgeting with the weapon in his hand like it was a toy with no bullets in it. His behavior was so bizarre that Heeseung couldn't help but stare at him in confusion. 

The thing was, the stare he carried didn't belong to someone who had just given up. It wasn't of someone who just surrendered and accepted his fucked-up fate. 

It was the complete opposite of what it was supposed to be -malicious, daring to some degree as if he was taunting him with his capability. He challenged him with a gradually growing smirk. 

At that moment, Heeseung realized it wasn't a renunciation but a part of the plan. The plan that had been constructed from the beginning. Composed to every little point to lure out the enemy. She was his weakness, and they damn well knew about it. They were cruel enough to use it against him. 

With another look, he noticed the turnabout in Joon-Woo's glare, the shade of wrath igniting. 

"For thinking I would let her off so easily," the loud bang emitted through the silence, a sharp "pop" following right after. The noise yielded Heeseung to register the situation, his eyes widening as they quickly scanned for the landing. His gaze landed on the girl in the chair, uncovering a bullet point of entrance on her chest. 

Heeseung's heart dropped as he looked over to the side. 

His eyes widened in horror, staring blankly at the injured girl.

His body went numb, but he still tried to remain as stoic as possible.

All he could do was stare, frozen in fear, as the girl's white shirt slowly turned red.

Heeseung knew he couldn't repeat the same mistake, not hesitating to respond as he pointed his gun directly at the shooter. It was what had to be done. Jun-Seo was going to die today, next to his brother.

His heart skipped a beat as the adrenaline rush towards his veins intensified. He pressed the trigger, watching the evil twin staring back at him in shock, falling back. 

The loud thud confirmed the man was no longer alive, the bullet in his head adding to reason. 

Heeseung slowly approached the corpse, looking at him one last time to ensure himself. 

At that moment, he indeed felt the unbearable weight on his shoulders falling off, all of it evaporating in the air. 

Heeseung finally exhales, dropping his gun to the floor. His heart rate slows down, but the poundage in his body becomes heavier, almost as if the world was collapsing in on him.

"Where-" he quickly turned around at the origin of the sound, his eyes meeting the girl's.

Heeseung instantly rushed to her side, trying to assess the damage.

Her blood flowed onto his hand as he pressed it on the entrance wound, attempting to stop the bleeding.

"I'm going to save you, just hang on..." he whispered, applying pressure after dialing his collegaue. 

As she struggled to remain conscious, her eyes locked into his.

She was unable to express her gratitude with words, so she gave his hand a light squeeze, letting him know that she understood his intentions.

She trusted the man for some reason, even though she couldn't see his face. Everything was pitch dark.

She hoped for the misery to end soon, letting her eyelids rest.

She only waited for the moment to end, for the afterlife to welcome her.

Heeseung was overwhelmed with worry and fear. He knew how close she was to dying, watching her breath grow shallower and more shallow after each passing moment.

He saw her eyes flickering in and out of consciousness, but all he could do was gently stroke her hair away from her face, hoping and wishing for a miracule. 

His hand rested on her chest, feeling her heartbeat. He desperately implored it to keep going, pleading with the higher powers, begging them not to let her slip through his fingers.

"Don't leave me, please," he whispered, kissing her hand.

Heeseung noticed her breathing pattern becoming erratic, her pulse slowly becoming weak, indicating that she was losing the battle for her life.

"Don't go," he whispered, placing his face closer to hers, willing her not to leave. The tears rolled down his cheeks, shaking his head in denial. He desperately tried to keep them from falling again.

"Please stay with me," he beged, unable to handle the thought of her dying in his arms. He continued to caress her cheeks, his voice muffled as his face grew redder and redder.

"Please..."

He recalled all the memories they encountered, the bad and the good, and burst into tears again. He didn't even try to stop them, unable to hold it in any longer.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you..."

Heeseung's voice filled with anguish, and ha piece of his heart ripped out of his chest. 

His desperation grew as her heartbeat grew weaker and weaker. Her chest rose and fell, labored. 

Each breath was battle for her life, and her body was not winning the fight. It started to grow cold, and her heartbeat became even fainter, as if it was trying to slip through his grasp.

"I'm so sorry." 

"I should have protected you," he cried, pressing into her chest. 

"I love you, Y/N."

Her hand rested on his, a faint smile spreading across her face. 

---------------------------------------------

"Y/N," 

"You-"

"It's you?" her brain refused to believe the alternative, pacing back and forth, forth and back, like a spectator at a tennis match. 

Lee Heeseung? 

Her Lee Heeseung?

No, that's impossible.

She foolishly wanted to hold onto the strand of hope even though it was perilous. She knew it would relish on painting her walls within in qualm, scribbling various disquietude lines, and doodling frightening visions.

It appeared so compulsive, eyelids concealing the water amassing beside. The droplets traced her rubicund cold cheeks, reaching the corners of her quivering mouth. She tasted the woeful hopelessness accumulated over the past months. 

How hopelessly she wished for it to be real.

For him to be with her. 

If there was one thing she had been yearning for, it was his return. 

Somewhere deep down in her shattered soul, she dreamed of a reunion. A reconvene in which she could hold onto him without fear. Without having to worry about him letting go once she would look away. Without being afraid of falling asleep because he wouldn't be there in the morning. 

It was the only thing she had been longing for. 

"No. You're not here. I'm seeing things again, right?" She looked around, laughing while groping the mattress. Doing so, she failed to detect the unknown material, repeating the same motion. It wasn't the same at home. It wasn't the latex filling she was used to. 

She swiftly looked around, eyes darting around the unknown layout. They glanced over its walls sheathed in snow without a single trace of a painting, the dim lamp gleaming in the corner. It smothered the gloominess in a soothing tint of beige, strangely comforting. 

It was so familiar, yet so unknown. 

Was it because this wasn't her first time being in this room?

"Why am I here?" Her rapid breathing complicated the question's delivery, hands clutching onto the duvet to prevent them from shaking even more. 

You fool.

She looked down, studying the IV line inserted in her vein. Her eyes popped out of their sockets, desperately trying to recall what had happened to put her in this situation in the first place. 

"Calm down," the man beside appeased, holding her hand. 

Compared to her ice skin, he was a burning flame. 

He wanted to believe it was because of his anticipation and not because of her declining health. 

He didn't want to be attentive to her paper skin or her bones visibly sticking out. Oh, how much he wanted to believe her knuckles weren't poking out next to his hand. 

However, he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to denial when these were all the signs he harbored before. 

The last time he saw her, his thumb couldn't reach his pinky finger. When he wrapped them around her tender wrist now, they managed to join. 

All of these signals were so familiar that he couldn't ignore them. They weren't normal and he knew from experience what effects it could have if not properly treated. Consulting with the doctor during her sleep was a necessary procedure, but he couldn't tell her everything now. 

For God's sake, she couldn't even acknowledge it was him caressing her hand. 

He felt like a stranger sitting there, with a worried expression and no response. He didn't know what to do. The only thing he wanted was to hold her and tell her everything was over. That he had finally accomplished what he should have done a year ago. Something he owed her from the day they met.

Where was the feeling of joy he was supposed to encounter? First and foremost, he executed an outstanding performance on the job tonight. Thanks to him, the case that was open for years had finally come to an end. It was due to his commission the two criminals now lingered behind bars.

"Is this one of those dreams again?" she suddenly grasped his shirt, unable to distinguish fantasy from reality. She held on to the cotton fabric with dear life, knuckles beginning to hurt as the grip amplified. The oaky fragrance disbanded into the air, entering through her nostrils to allow a segment of remembrance. 

Her fingers slid against the black clothing, studying the outlines of it, tracing down and up again. His chest rose with each unanticipated touch, brows sliding upwards to inscribe a few lines. Worry was written all over them when she gaped at him in confusion, refusing to accept his existence.

"Where I hopelessly look for you and never manage to find you?"

The headache was overlapping her brain in confusion, and she struggled to fathom her surroundings. She didn't comprehend the quick change of emotions on his face, looking at her as if she had announced the death of a close relative. In the end, she went through these nightmares almost every night. So, it wasn't abnormal to her. Yet, his stare was intense and frightened, screaming in concern, the complete opposite of her disclosure.

It wasn't.

It couldn't be after all.

He left a long time ago.

"I'm tired of those dreams," her voice broke down, replacing it with a weep, "because I never manage to find you." She broke down, releasing the suppressed pain gathered in her system. 

The mere thought of them ran shivers down her spine, completely despising the state they left her in. The number of times she woke up crying, desperately trying to hold onto the comfort beside was too much to count. The way she would open her eyelids only to realize there was nothing but a cold and untouched bedside. 

She would always look at the empty spot with hope. 

Hope he would come into the room with that dazzling look and hop back in the bed to hold her tight in his embrace. She wanted him to say everything would be okay, just like he used to. She wanted to hear his smile again, see his laughter, and feel his love in her hands. 

Was it that selfish to ask for the undoable? 

It was.

After all, he had always been a far stretch - an unreachable beauty, like a star in the sky she could only admire from afar. Too unreal to be authentic. Too perfect to exist. Too good to be true. Just like their relationship. 

Even stars die eventually and gradually start fading away. It was simply natural for them to end as well. 

So why was it so hard to say goodbye?

Over 365 days have passed since the day, and Y/N still stood at the beginning of the road. It was as if her feet were glued to the floor, trapping her in the moment she desperately tried to eradicate. 

If a samurai's katana could slice through her stomach now, it wouldn't manage to do more damage. Nor his bow stricken to embed in her lungs. It would simply sting for a second before disappearing into the mist, just like everything else in her life. It would form a pool of blood beneath, assembling a shattered reflection. A reflection she would reach for and fall into its never-ending well of hatred and pangs of conscience.

"I did something wrong, right? That's why you left. I was so annoying with my constant mood swings, wasn't I?" 

Heeseung closed his eyelids to prevent the accumulated sadness from firing, trying to stay collected so as not to evoke more sorrow. 

His hands turned into fists, aching to swing on the coward's head.

What a selfish idiot he was. 

He was going to cry? Him? When he was the reason they were both in this room right now?

It was his decision that caused all of this. He wouldn't be right back at the start if he hadn't given her up for his stupid career. If only he had just listened to his inner heart, things could have been different, better.

It was like someone was ripping him open, cutting and slicing with the sharpest blade, puncturing endless rebukes. Not only was he screaming from the pain, but also from witnessing Y/N uncontrollably crying in front of him. 

Her petite hands held onto her hospital gown, slanting over to let out all the misery he had caused her. She couldn't stop herself from wailing in agony and torment, feeling so hopeless and confused with him reappearing in her life. It was a hard pill to swallow. The kind that gets stuck in your throat, and water cannot drown it. 

"I'm so sorry I couldn't control it," she sniveled, clutching her hair tightly and pulling it to inflict more pain on herself. 

"I'm so sorry," she screamed into the duvet, countlessly snuffling. Her cries were muffled, the airways between her lungs and nose becoming tighter with each one. She was practically yelping for air, hyperventilating. 

"I love you, Lee Heeseung. I love you so much that it hurts," her trembling index pointed towards her heart, repeatedly tapping her chest.

At this point, she was out of breath, wailing and gripping her clothes as if they could release the painful embrace around her chest. She lifted her gaze to meet the apples of his eyes. They were glutted with sorrow and guilt, heartbreak and commiseration. They were merely reflecting his feelings - complete hopelessness. 

"I can't live without you, Heeseung. I can't-" Her sob got cut off by his sudden maneuver, palms gently cupping her cheeks before drawing her face closer to him. Now, he stared into her chocolate eyes, gazing at his hickory ones with surprise. 

"I love you more, Y/N." His nose rubbed against hers, foreheads aligning with one another to create an intimate moment between the lovers. They used to do this often, almost every morning, just holding each other and laughing in joy. It was like a routine, something mandatory before getting out of bed.

"More than anything else in this world," his tears caressed hers, tracing them upwards with his lips. He replaced the traces of sorrow with caring pecks, making sure to collect every drop. 

"Heeseung," her hand clutched his shirt, trying to stay sane even though, deep down, she was melting in his touch. 

He lightly tilted her head back, gaining access to her quivering mouth. She had it slightly ajar, huffing the compressed air through the small gap. Waves of electricity were dashing down her cells, causing an upheaval of homeostasis. The more he looked at her, the harder it got to breathe without a strain on her lungs. She had no choice but to say, "Please, just kiss me."

There was no time for that request to have been adequately thought through, as the circumstances deemed the opposite effect. For once, Y/N didn't want to think over her decisions. She wanted them to happen and worry about the consequences later. 

"Can I really?" his hand slid back, holding her head to grant her maximum relaxation. 

"You fool, I just told you to do it."

"I only want to make sure," he murmured, his lips automatically attracting with hers, like two magnets of opposite poles. 

Perhaps it was a lofty comparison, but the way neither side hesitated before carrying out the deed proved otherwise. They have been yearning for this moment ever since they have parted ways. 

Hell, they spent all of their time convincing themselves they weren't a match made to last for centuries when they were. Their love was so powerful that the glue in their bond never dried out. 

Even though they were two completely different people, it was their love that brought them together. No one could change that.

"No one."

"Not ever," he whispered while he damped her lips with his wet and warm tongue, panting with each smacking sound.

It was like entering heaven. 

He could almost feel the bright rays of happiness encircling them with its mighty power, not to mention Y/N's whimpers, which were like music to his ears.

Or maybe it was his poetic description of this incredible ecstasy that made it appear so illusory. 

He felt like a teenage boy again. His hormones were all over the place, and his heartbeat was agitated with an uncomfortable tension in his boxers.

God was cruel for putting his body into this state, especially in this situation. However, he couldn't control it. A whole year without Y/N meant a year full of bottled-up pain and tension. He never went out and slept with someone else because he knew too well no one could compare to her. 

Fuck, no one could be her, so there was no point in doing anything reckless. Plus, his heart wouldn't be able to do something so dishonest. It was loyal, unlike him, and it never erased nor forgot the name of his soulmate.

"I missed you so much," she cried, her grip around him tightening, so afraid he would let go and the feeling of safety would disappear with him.

"I know, Y/N. I missed you, too." Heeseung's hand slid up her arm, then her neck, until his hands rested on her cheeks, and he gently pulled her closer.

"But I'm here now," he continued, his voice filled with tenderness and affection. "And I don't plan on leaving your side ever again."

She looked up with red eyes, swollen and aching from the pang inside her heart. "You promise?" she asked innocently, not ready to receive a no for an answer. 

"I promise." His voice was firm, his words soothing. 

He kissed the top of her head, feeling her grip tightening around him while tears still ran down her wet, rosy cheeks. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, refusing to let go. 

"I'm not going anywhere. Not this time."

As if by instinct, she buried her face in his chest yet again, breathing in his scent and feeling his warmth as he enveloped her petite body in his warm embrace. 

Y/N felt her heart beating faster, the rush of emotions overwhelming and confusing her in the process. God, how much she has missed this. Being held, taken care of, and loved. For the first time, she allowed herself to feel vulnerable and let out a pained sob. She had held it for so long.

"Breathe," he whispered in her ear, noticing her shallow breath in a poor attempt at composure.

Her body couldn't stop shaking in his arms, the waves of emotions and shock deluging her.

"I'm here." The man of her dreams whispered, his words soothing out the bump of worries in her head. He stroked her lusciously dark hair once again, caressing her cheek as she leaned her head on the crook of his neck.

"I've got you."

That was all she needed to hear. 

They both remained in each other's arms, the silence broken only by their heavy breathing. At the same time, Y/N leaned in for his hands, holding them in hers. They were big and mighty next to her small and delicate ones, swallowing them in his palms. She played with his fingers, wrapping her digits around each one like an adorable baby. 

She has done this so many times before. It felt so natural each time as if their hands were sculpted to fit between the gaps of their fingers. Every insertion and removal was smooth like butter. She repeated it over and over because she couldn't get enough of it.

It was his hand she was holding and her hand he was kissing.

"Is this alright?" he asked foolishly.

She replied with a passionate kiss instead, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling the strong man as close as possible. Her body pressed against his, so gentle with each movement that it made him shiver. He leaned into the squeeze, letting go of his worries once and for all, only focusing on her warmth blending with his. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, the heat of her against his own sparking lascivious ideas. 

Her lips pressed softly against his skin, enticingly murmuring her name as a result. 

"Y/N..."

"I missed hearing you saying my name," she whispered into his ear before gently biting onto its helix.

Heeseung closed his eyes and exhaled a deep and long breath. He leaned closer and caressed her chin, tilting it upwards so he could meet her eyes again.

"I want to be with you forever," he said softly, hand gently caressing her hip.

"I want to wake up next to you every morning and sleep with you by my side."

"I want to hold your face and feel your lips on mine every chance. To feel our love growing more and more each day."

"I want to spend my life with you. To know you're my home, my heart."

She gaped at him in shock, not expecting to hear such a meaningful trail of confession after everything. It contradicted his ambiguously lengthy absence in which Y/N went through hell thinking about what she had done wrong. 

Now, he sat before her, eyes full of ardor and sincerity, brushing his devotion on her like a naked canvas. 

"I've made the mistake of letting you go once," he held her hand, placing it on his chest. She felt his rhythmic heartbeat gradually increasing with each prolonged second of his speech. 

"I won't make the same mistake twice, Y/N." 

Heeseung's voice is filled with sincerity and truth, determined to finally carry through his feelings to her like he should have done. 

"I can't promise I will always be perfect," he expressed, his hand intertwining with hers. "But I promise, I won't let anyone tear us apart again."

He squeezed her even tighter as if she was the only thing holding him together.

"What do you mean? Who tore us apart?" her face changed instantly, confusedly staring into his apprehensive eyes. The cat was out of the bag, and Heeseung finally had to face the harsh side of reality.

Instead of answering, however, his gaze drifted away. 

His expression became darker, pupils dilating from the rise of anger within. It wasn't directed towards the reason, but himself. He was furious for preserving this crucial information from her for so long.

He looked away, his hand still over hers as he tried to find the words. He took it and brought it to his lips, gently kissing it as he spoke.

"Your parents..." Heeseung said quietly.

"They never approved of us, and I knew."

Heeseung paused, unsure of how to proceed or what to say next. He didn't want to ruin her relationship with her parents or affect their reunion. Telling the truth was the best choice, but he wondered if she would forgive either side.

"They threatened to sue me and ruin my career. They said I was negligent on the mission. That I wasn't a good enough person to be with you."

He stared at her, doubtful of how much information to share. 

"They didn't want me to talk to you ever again," he disclosed, his tone guarded. "They told me either I stayed away from you or they would ruin my life."

He sighed and looked down at the ground, a slight sense of shame on his face. 

"It was their disapproval, combined with the threat of losing everything, that forced me to leave."

"So you chose your career over our love?" she scoffed, pushing his arms away.

"Your career was more important than our relationship?"

She shook her head in disappointment. 

"No..." Heeseung quickly replied, stunned and hurt by her sudden change of attitude. "You know I'm not like that."

The truth was that he completely understood her reaction. He responded to his terrible decision the same way, turning against himself for being such a selfish prick. 

Nevertheless, so much was at stake that he couldn't have done it differently. That's what he wanted to explain. To make her see his point of view and hopefully make her understand. 

"You're the only person who knows what I had to go through to become an officer, Y/N. You know what kind of future I envisioned for myself, for us."

He wavered, rethinking his wording so as not to make it sound wrong. His voice slightly trembled, incredibly scared of what might come after all of this. "It would have been my entire future they would have destroyed."

She shook her head in denial, not wanting to believe her bloodline would stand in the way of her happiness. She couldn't believe her mother and father put her into that misery and pretended to be clueless. 

They blamed him for everything, constantly pointing out how right they were about him from the beginning of their relationship. They kept telling her that he would eventually leave and never look back when, in reality, they were the ones who would cause it to happen. They were pulling the strings behind her back. 

This whole time, while she deteriorated from the uncontrollable pain all alone, they were the culprits of her suffering. 

"I," she covered her mouth, the urge to vomit intensifying at the repulsive revelation. 

"Why," she looked up at him, anger and resentment burning in her eyes. 

"Why didn't you tell me right away?" she whispered, her voice hingeing from the lack of power.

Heeseung shut his eyelids, unable to speak at first due to the words choking him up. He couldn't even look his love in the eyes as he lowered his face in remorse.

"I thought you wouldn't believe me," he replied calmly, his voice full of emotion. "They are your parents, after all."

Heeseung searched for the correct words to express what he felt in those moments right before he took the decision to leave her for good. 

"I thought me leaving would be the least painful, the least harmful choice. I didn't want to ruin your family for one incompetent coward like me."

"Bullshit!" she yelled, throwing all of his attempts away. She was so angry at him and her parents all at once that it molded into one tangled wool of wrath that gushed obstreperous amounts of ire. 

"I would have believed you, Heeseung. These are all just excuses-"

"How can you say these are just excuses," Heeseung oppugned, his voice breaking at the end of the sentence.

"You think I liked being forced to make that decision? You think I liked seeing you in pain because of me?"

He sharply inhaled, almost hissing when exhaling. The words were pouring out of him as fast as a waterfall, and no one could stop him from speaking his mind now.

"Don't you think I regret all of it? Don't you think that I wished every single day that I had just told you the damn truth?" he snapped back, his tone rising at each word. 

"Do you have any idea what I went through this last year?" she shut him down, firmly pushing him away.

Do you have any idea what I was thinking this entire time?" she panted, the wrath inside her escalating through the roof.

"I thought I wasn't good enough for you, that I couldn't even make you happy, that you left because I only rubbed off my bad mental state, and you couldn't handle it anymore. This entire time, I thought it was MY fault you were gone, and I wanted to die." The curses escaped her chapped lips, fists hitting the mattress out of frustration and lack of control over her emotions. Her eyes burned with ire and disarray, quivering from undergoing sudden shock.

"Every day, I dreamt about dying. Every night, I hoped I wouldn't wake up the next day and that I would just die." She shouted into his face, her yells soon enough turning into painful sobs. 

"After you left, Hee, there was no point for me to live anymore."

Heeseung stared at her, totally awed and stunned by her words. He was blind this whole time, ignorant about what was happening behind the curtains.

He couldn't form a sentence, experiencing such strong and intense emotions that he couldn't even find the words to describe them.

"I tried to end my life so many times," she cried, covering her face with trembling hands, entirely losing control of her body.

Chills ran down his spine at the weight of the last sentence, which unraveled the extent of her suffering. 

His worst fear became true: she was hurting because of him. 

From the start, he tried to do what was best for her future. Yet, he only made it all worse. He ruined her and became the cause of her nightmares, of every second of her affliction.

His heart broke into a million pieces. The amount of guilt he had never experienced before struck him intensely, leaving him breathless.

Tears slowly rolled down his cheeks as he realized he had worsened her depression. 

First, he took away the person who loved her the most and then disposed of the one she loved the most. All at the same time, because of him. 

He wanted to shout, to kick himself for being so oblivious. He wanted to hug her and hold her, cry with her, and beg for forgiveness.

But all he could do at that moment was stand like a deer caught in the headlights, completely speechless.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured.

"I never wanted to cause you... pain." His voice broke as he said those words, the guilt eating him alive.

"I-I should have been there for you, I-" Another sigh parted away.

"I failed to protect you."

"Yea, you fucked up. Now, go," her tone drastically changed, sitting up as she crossed her arms, head turning towards the window.

The world outside seemed so much calmer than the one in the room, the tension sticking on the walls.

Heeseung didn't know what to say. He tried to protest, to say something, to do anything to fix things, but after your dismissal, he knew he had to accept the fact that he had messed up beyond all reasoning.

He walked towards the door, waiting for her to change her mind and ask him to stay. 

However, his wish was replaced by a soft "go."

No other words were necessary for this goodbye.

He turned to face her one final time, his eyes full of regret and misery. They couldn't even match hers for more than two seconds before a tear rolled down his cheek.

He had to look away, refusing to see the pain in her eyes and her trembling face.

"No," he said, turning around.

Heeseung was frustrated and felt misunderstood, lost in the words of frustration and anger thrown his way. 

It broke his heart to hear her say these things. Although he expected the worst possible scenario, he couldn't come to terms with this alternative. There was no way he would let her go again. 

He paused, taking a deep breath to process what he was hearing.

"I failed you as a lover and a friend," he whispered, the tone in his voice filled with sorrow and disappointment. 

"I should have been there for you, I should have stayed and fought."

Her stare was still focused outside, refusing to communicate with him further. There was a lot of bitterness and pain inside her to pursue a polite conversation. Any minute, she would go off like a bomb. He was pushing the time until detonation.

Heeseung took a deep breath yet again, looking around the room in disbelief.

He had never seen her so angry before — not even when she was angry with her parents. This was a whole new level of anger.

He couldn't bear the thought of leaving in such a condition while being furious and hurt. Even if he thought she no longer wanted him around, he needed to prove that was not true. He wanted to prove to her his love was real and was not as shallow as she thought.

"Don't make me call the staff and get you kicked out," the threat set a foot on the floor, directly aiming at him.

She finally made eye contact, handing a cold glare, her brows furrowed and her nostrils flared.

For a few seconds, Heeseung was utterly stunned by her sudden threat and the intensity of the stare. Once she made eye contact, he saw deep down the pain and hurt that she was frantically trying to mask.

"I just want to say one more thing before I leave," he whispered, his tone gentle and apologetic. He looked away, unsure if he was doing the right thing.

"I don't want to hear anything from you," she sat up and got her slippers, aiming to stand up and walk him out.

However, a sharp groan escaped instead, her hand automatically positioning on the ache in her chest. His heart sank once again as he noticed the sudden wince in her facial expression.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice full of worry and concern.

He wanted to reach out but knew he did not deserve to comfort you in such a critical moment. It was all his fault.

Therefore, he remained standing, but only a meter away, as his worries grew over.

"I just need you to leave me alone." her expression changed nattily, practically hissing out the sentence.

He remained silent, not saying a word.He could hear her breathing and the slight wheezing with each inhale. Other than that, there was only the silence of the room.He couldn't find any words to say in such a situation, not when her voice bore hatred and disdain.

Slowly, he backed away from her, his feet making light sounds on the floor, almost unable to hear them. She winced when attempting to slightly move, each muscle in her body tensing at the unexpected action.

Tears summon in her eyes, crawling back from the overlapping ache and sorrow combined into a deadly mixture. Heeseung noticed how her body reacted, recalling the doctor's orders. He couldn't hold back anymore. He couldn't stand idle.

"Wait," he said quickly, his tone filled with worry and panic. He rushed to her side, putting a hand on her shoulder to prevent her from getting up.

"God, you're such a-" Her whine swallows the curse word, shutting her eyelids due to the ascending pain.

"You can hate me as much as you want, but you must lay down this instance," Heeseung sighed, noticing her effort at resisting his actions even if it was all for her safety. He tried to lay her down slowly but firmly, making sure he didn't hurt her any further.

He gently pushed her backward on the bed, hoping the pain from the movement didn't worsen.

"You're a pain in the ass," she coughed, eyes still closed to avoid any form of direct eye contact. His presence beside was enough to rile her up and clench her fists.

He had to hide his smile as her attempts to push him away and the occasional bursts of insults were adorable. She might have been furious at the moment, but her actions gave away the small hint of weakness underneath.

It made him want to apologize for coming back at the wrong time, but he remained silent and waited by her side for the pain to subside.

He sat on the edge of the bed, looking out of the window with a heavy pang in his heart. He stayed silent for a while, content with sitting in silence, even if she was still furious at him.

He occasionally glanced at her with a sorrowful look, as if he was sorry for causing you so much pain and distress.

Slowly, he turned his head back towards the window and exhaled, the only noise he made for the following minutes.

"I should be furious and mad at you for everything," she whispered, "Yet, I can't because it hurts even more."

Heeseung's eyes widened once she spoke up. She might have not looked at him, but he heard her perfectly.

She still sounded angry, but it sounded more like regret than anything else. It was the first time he saw her defenses crack, and he was starting to wonder how long until she completely broke down.

"I prayed every night to see you again, to be held in your arms," she paused, suppressing the wave of tears from flushing down her face.

"I-" she put her arm over her face, fighting herself from speaking up further.

He remained silent, watching her struggle with her emotions. He couldn't help but feel a pang in his heart seeing her trying so hard not to break down in front of him.

With a light, tender gesture, he wiped the tears away from her cheeks and put his hand over her fist, trying to hold her fingers while remaining careful about the injuries.

"I hate you," she whimpered.

"I hate how much I love you after everything."

Those words hit him like a knife to the heart.

Hearing her confess her love and hatred towards him was a bittersweet feeling. Although her words still harbored anger, there was no denying his heart was aching for her.

He looked at her, not saying anything, just staring, his eyebrows furrowing, waiting to hear what else she had to say.

"You broke me, and somehow-" she lingered on her words, snuffling, "you're the only thing I think about."

Heeseung's heart ached with each word she spoke, hearing the emotional confession.

He didn't quite know what to say. Her love for him seemed just as conflicting as her rage and hatred as if both were trying to take the throne as the primary emotion in her heart.

Her tearful, trembling voice made him feel vulnerable too, his entire being consumed by the emotions that made him want to hug her so tightly, wanting so desperately to make everything better.

"You turned me into a mess," she covered her face with her palms, refusing to be seen this vulnerable and weak again.

He couldn't even argue with that statement because, at that moment, he knew she was right. He had turned her into a mess. He had left her without a single thought about if she would be alright, what it would do to her given her psychological condition. 

He had forgotten how much she loved and needed him and how his sudden disappearance would affect her. He was unable to stand her vulnerable state any longer.

He grabbed both her wrists, pulling them away from her face, letting his eyes meet hers.

"Look at me," he said in the softest way possible.

He was doing exactly what she didn't want him to do.

She was concealing her reckless emotions from him, forbidding him to see her like this any longer.

At his words, she reluctantly let go of and slowly lifted her face. She didn't want him here, but she did. She craved, no, needed him.

She looked directly into his eyes, feeling her heart ache, not wanting this moment to end but also wanting to escape it. His orbs had the most solemn expression, looking at her with sorrow and empathy.

He couldn't help but feel how her emotions were constantly switching between rage and sadness, and although she didn't say the words, his heart was still willing to believe that she still loved him.

Because she truly did.

And that's why she hated herself so much.

Heeseung's heart couldn't take it anymore.

When she looked away from his eyes, he saw how much she was still struggling to keep her emotions from breaking down completely. He wanted to help her, he wanted to make everything better, but he didn't know how.

With a light tug, he pulled her close and tightly hugged her. The warmth from his body spread to her, the smell of his cologne filling her nostrils.

As if the whole world had turned upside down, she had officially reached her limits. There were no barriers in her way anymore and she let her emotions burst out.

At last, she allowed herself to cry in front of someone again. In front of him. In his arms, in his embrace, in his chest.

With the sound of her trembling breaths, Heeseung could feel how real this moment was. Every tear falling from her cheeks, every sniffle, and every sob.

He didn't mind one bit. He didn't care how vulnerable she was right now or how weak this moment made her look. To him, her hugging hugging him back and feeling her body pressed against his was all that mattered right now.

She was finally home.

She was finally safe again.

She was where she was supposed to be all along.

With her lover, her soulmate, her other part.

She could finally smile again.

Heeseung tightened the grip on her body, wanting to bring her as close as possible to fill the space of loneliness in her heart.

The feeling of her warm body against his was all he needed to feel complete again. It was like he found the last missing piece of the puzzle. With it, the picture was complete. His heart was finally beating again. 

He kept his arms around her, not letting go of her for a single second. He hoped that this was just the beginning of their second chance.

Her hands rested on his chest as she lifted her head, inches away from his lips.

He brought her closer, making the space between their faces even shorter. He slowly lowered his head to meet her lips, his breath slightly trembling as his heart pumped rapidly in his chest.

She moaned into the kiss, closing her eyes and letting him take control. She was so tired, both mentally and physically, but craved him intensely.

Their tongues collided against each other leisurely and intensely at the same time, desperate to have one another as close as possible. 

The kiss was hungry, both despairing for each other that they were practically devouring each other rather than just simply enjoying the moment.

Heeseung's arms tightly wrapped around her, holding her firmly against his body, his lips moving with a steady pace alongside hers. There was no need for any words, as their entire bodies had already expressed everything they needed to.

His hands ran under her hospital gown, sliding upwards on her back. She arched her back at the contact, moaning and lightly biting onto his lip.

Heeseung couldn't help but moan at her reaction. The feeling of his hands on her skin sent shivers down her spine, his fingers feeling like little sparks of joy spreading through.

He moaned against her lips again, wanting this moment to last even longer.

She was all his, and he was all hers.

There was nothing that could stop them from being so intimate and together right now. All the anger and hatred that lingered inside was washed away by the sheer joy of being reunited.

He began tracing her spine with delicate, light touches, sending a chill down her back despite the warm sensations that the gesture caused.

When his hands moved further up, her back began to arch involuntarily, breathing becoming heavier.

His fingers found themselves tangled in her hair, pulling back as the kisses became even more passionate.

"Someone could come in any moment," she panted as he pulled away for a minute, gripping his shirt for stability since she was in a daze. Any hospital staff could barge in, and she certainly didn't want anyone to catch her engaging in lewd activities...

Heeseung let out a chuckle at her reminder, still feeling his heart pump and his lips vibrating with a warm, fuzzy feeling.

"I don't mind," he whispered, his lips hovering near hers again, teasing.

At that moment, the kiss felt so perfect for him, so right that he didn't care if anyone saw them in such a vulnerable state. He looked around the room and back at her, a small, mischievous grin appearing on his face.

"You're crazy!" she wanted to protest, but he kissed her again, sliding his hand behind her neck so she could fully transfer her weight onto his hand.

"Don't worry," he said, getting up and heading towards the door, getting a "do not disturb" sign out of the shelf and putting it on the door's front handle before locking themselves in.

He was glad he had decided to take her to a private hospital, not only because the surgery was done quickly, but he could also stay the night with her.

She couldn't help but feel a little bit of relief wash over, knowing that they wouldn't be interrupted by anybody walking by. The two of you could finally have some privacy to let the passion and desire run free.

With the heat between both of them building up, Heeseung returned to the bed, this time straddling on top of her.

"Oh," she gaped at him from below, her hands holding onto his arms next to her.

Her gaze landed underneath his shirt as he hovered over her, allowing her to fully see his abs. They were still as sculpted and defined as she remembered, perhaps even more visible now. Her mouth slightly hung loose, biting her lip to conceal her arousal.

He looked down at her, seeing the intent stare at his abs as her finger lightly trailed towards the edge of his shirt.

With a soft smirk, he lifted his arms, letting her expose his entire upper body, the abs, and pecs flexing slightly as he moved. He let her admire and touch every inch of his muscle, even letting her trace the veins on his arms.

For some reason, seeing him suddenly topless caused a couple of fireworks to set off in her stomach, immediately looking away to hide the wave of heat mantling her cheeks.

Heeseung couldn't help but giggle softly at her shyness, finding it utterly appealing. He still got butterflies each time she blushed like this, finding it to be one of her most endearing characteristics.

He leaned closer, lifting her hands off her face and caressing it with his own hands.

"So beautiful," he whispered, pressing his forehead against hers.

"Don't be shy. You can touch any part of me you want."

"Hee," she panted, feeling breathless from the lewdness of his words.

He chuckled, noticing how overwhelmed she got.

"I can't believe how easily flustered you get."

He paused for a few seconds before placing one of his hands on her pink cheek.

"It's okay to be touched like this, you know," he whispered into her ear.

"You've touched my heart so many times already, you can touch me as much as you like."

"If you keep talking like that, I'll melt," she sighed, placing her hand on his face as his gaze only evoked more attraction.

Heeseung laughed, finding her response to his comments sweet. He could see her already trying not to blush and feeling quite embarrassed, which made him want to tease her even further.

"Is that so?" he inquired, looking at her with a teasing smile on his lips.

"Well, maybe it would be better to see you in liquid form. Then I could at least drink in your beauty all at once."

"What are you even saying!" She widened her eyes, slapping his arm and covering her mouth out of embarrassment.

Heeseung smiled and played with a strand of her hair.

"Am I making you upset?" he teased, "and there I was, planning on making you melt all over me so I could lick it all up." With a smirk, he brought his face closer to hers, letting her feel his breath against her lips.

"You're such a pervert," her head turned to the side on the pillow, closing her eyes as the tip of her ears began to redden.

"You like it, though," his voice was tinged with a teasing undertone, almost daring her to deny it.

"Is this making you nervous?" he asked lusciously, "maybe I should keep kissing your neck until you can't take it anymore."

She moaned and grabbed his back the moment his lips brushed against her neck, breathing heavier than before.

He knew damn well how sensitive her neck was, and he always used that against her. He smirked at her reaction to his kiss, noticing how her body tensed up.

As he continued kissing her neck and leaving hickeys all across it, he could hear how she was trying to repress her moans.He didn't plan on going too far with this, but he was incredibly tempted to make you her out with his touch.

She pushed him away for a minute, her whole body practically shaking from the stimulation.

Heeseung smirked, knowing he had pushed her limits with the kiss.

Still, he didn't hesitate one second to get close to her again and place light kisses across her face.

"Is that too much?" he asked, his voice still maintaining that teasing tone, "I could do even more you know. We have a whole night ahead of us."

"I hate you so much," she grunted, letting him peck her face with smooches.

"Such harsh words coming from such a cute mouth." Heeseung laughed as she kept resisting his kisses, only making him want to tease her more.

"You can hate me all you want, but you can't escape my charm," he grinned at her, kissing her forehead and letting his fingers trail downwards.

"You could have gotten me naked instead of blabbering on."

Heeseung raised his eyebrows and smirked at the straightforwardness of her comment.

"Is that an invitation?" he inquired, "cause if it is, then I accept it completely." He brought her close to his body again, still keeping a firm grasp around her waist.

"Let me make your desire come true."

"Be careful, it hurts," she sat up, holding onto him.

Heeseung smiled softly at her actions, letting her sit up and gently lifting her onto his lap. He saw how tired she was, the exhaustion of the surgery still weighing in on her.

"Are you sure you want to do this right now?" he inquired in a concerned tone, "we don't have to do anything, and still…"

He wavered for a moment, leaning her body against him.

"I still want to be near you."

She nodded, running her hands on his bare chest before giving it soft and tender pecks.

He let out a soft groan as his chest was bombarded with so many kisses, his body feeling warm at the spot her lips placed on. He let her body lean on him, enjoying the softness of her skin on his own. He couldn't stop but smile at how soft and gentle her every gesture was, making him feel the need to protect her.

She traced upwards, bringing her lips to his neck. She soaked up the smell of his scent, letting her lips slowly brush against his honey skin, licking and biting occasionally.

After kissing his cheek, she let her face rest on his shoulder, sighing at the warmth they were passing onto each other.

Heeseung cuddled her, running his hands through her silky hair as he enjoyed the closeness of her presence. They were both lying in silence for a couple of minutes, letting the quietness of the moment envelope them both. He felt content, and so did she. She floundered to explain it, but being in his arms made her feel safe and protected as if she was in a cocoon away from the outside world.

"Help me take this off, please," she pointed at her gown, slowly kissing him one more time.

"You don't have to say it twice."

He paused for a moment, feeling her tongue gently slide across his lips. It was as if she couldn't wait to feel his warmth all over her body. The thought made him eager to get rid of the clothing, so he began pulling the strings to the side, slowly untying them before she could slip the dress over her shoulders.

She looked down to see her chest wrapped with bandages from the surgery, sighing at the sight. Her eyes darted away, slanting a bit.

Heeseung's eyes followed her gaze, realizing how uncomfortable and self-conscious she must have felt about it. Wanting to ease her tension, he smiled and placed his hands on her shoulders before whispering next to her ear.

"You don't have to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. I am your lover, and nothing you show me will make me love you any less."

With those words, Heeseung's voice was tinged with kindness, as he wanted to make her feel at ease and wanted.

"I'm sorry for looking like this," she lowered your head, trying to hide her chest.

Heeseung gently caressed her face, lifting it so he could stare directly into her eyes.

"Never be sorry for something you have zero control over." He lifted his hand and placed it on top of her chest, his thumb running across the bandages.

"I was here to support you during the surgery, and I'm still here now to support you through your recovery, and no matter what, I will always love you."

She felt her eyes watering, sobbing as his kind words caressed her soul with love.

He didn't hesitate to pull her in a tight hug, soothing her as he cradled her in his arms.

The comfort of his touch was evident, not only from how her body quivered from the sudden embrace but also from her sobbing. It was clear as a day that she was going through a lot, but the thought of being in his arms was enough to calm her nerves and soothe her soul.

"I love you," she whispered, looking for his lips with hers.

"I love you more, Y/N."

Heeseung brought their bodies closer. It was a tender moment, full of affection and love, as they shared a deep kiss full of care and adoration.

"So you still want me? Even though I look like this," she foolishly asked, worried he could be less attracted to her after the surgery. Not only that, but she had lost a lot of weight, and she wasn't comfortable in her skin.

Heeseung was instantly alarmed at the comment, well aware of her insecurities. The way she was concerned was the last thing he needed to see right now.

"Don't ever think like that again," he placed his forehead against hers, wanting her to understand how he felt.

"Nothing will ever make me love you less. You've been through this surgery and lost some weight, but have I ever told you how beautiful you still look? How much I still want you?"

"Please tell me," she hiccuped, getting goosebumps when he cupped her cheeks and softly caressed them in his big hands.

Heeseung smirked softly before leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"You are incredible to me. Nothing has changed how I feel about you. In fact, I feel that my love for you has multiplied, and I want you more than ever."

He waited for a minute, letting his words sink into her heart.

"You've gone through so much today, and all I want to do is take care of you and help you recover fully..."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, sobbing from receiving so much care and affection. She had gotten used to being alone and not having anyone for so long that she forgot how it felt to be loved.

Heeseung saw how his behavior was having a huge impact on her, and although he was touched by seeing her reaction, he also felt a certain joy in it, since it meant she was letting him into her life. The more she let him in, the more he felt satisfied, seeing how she accepted his protection. 

"Let me cuddle you again," he smiled, caressing her hair as he pulled her closer to his body.

"No, make love to me, please," she leaned back, letting him gently hold her close.

"I want you so badly."

Heeseung was a bit taken aback by the suddenness of her demand, but the tone of her voice was tempting and irresistible.

He let his hands crawl down her body until they ended up resting on her hips and butt.

"Are you sure you're feeling good enough to do something like this?" he whispered into her ear, not wanting to do anything that could potentially hurt her.

"As long as you're gentle," she smiled, caressing his face in her palm.

Heeseung let out a low growl as she touched his face, delicate yet sensual, enough to make him harder. The more she touched him, the more he felt his heart racing and his breath speeding up.

He moved in closer, their bodies touching from head to toe as her breath hitched.

"I'm all yours," she whispered.

Heeseung was speechless the moment he heard those words leave her mouth. 

It was the most beautiful thing he could ever imagine. 

Someone who truly loves him and wants to be with him.

He looked down at her, letting his orbs get lost in hers.

"Do you mean those words?"

She nodded, pressing herself onto his erection.

"My heart only beats for you and you only," she smiled, intertwining her hands with his.

He let out a low gasp upon seeing her take control, feeling some blood hastily flowing to his lower regions.

Her words were like music to his ears, and he kept grinning like an idiot. He was so happy she felt this way about him. He lowered his head, kissing the small space between her shoulder and neck.

"Take off your pants, Hee," she grabbed his belt, trying to take it off.

Her command had him on edge. He was so eager to obey that he didn't waste a second and quickly complied, undoing his leather belt and taking off his trousers as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Seeing him completely naked in front of her made her nervous, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear while looking over to the side.

Why did he have to look so ethereal and luscious?

The moment she averted her gaze to another direction and started playing with her hair, urging him to be even closer. He let out a slow breath and took in her appearance from head to toe.

She always had a way of looking vulnerable yet seductive that made his heart flutter with every heartbeat.

He leaned over, gently laying her back on the bed, getting on top. 

She gasped quietly, having him this close making her feel some type of way. Her hand wandered on his neck, pulling him lower to get a taste of his luscious lips one more time.

Heeseung moaned as she tugged him downwards and let her explore his body. It was a feeling that left him with no words.

He let his body rest on hers, making sure she was in a comfortable position as his hands roamed around her flawless body, trailing upwards until they ended up on her breasts.

She hitched once his warm palms held them, cautiously caressing them. Her hands rested upon his, guiding them to cup her breasts a bit more.

His touch was tender and careful, making sure not to hurt her while molding his hands to fit her curves. Her hands encouraged and guided him more, immediately tightening. Nevertheless, he made sure to keep the pressure at a minimum.

The feeling of the heat between their bodies, the sensation of their fingers running over each others' bodies, and the delicate kissing was enough to make his breath pick up pace as he groaned softly.

"You're so beautiful," she breathed out, every bit of oxygen getting cut off in her system whenever he looked at her with that dazzling gaze.

He sensed a deep level of contentment, letting his lips brush against hers. They were warm, and the feeling of her soft body under him left him feeling so excited that his heart would burst.

The fact she even wanted to be with him in that moment made the experience more fulfilling to him, the love only growing with each passing second.

He guided his mouth lower, from her neck to her collarbones, until he had reached her petite breasts, rubbing his face against them. He couldn't get enough of her scent and warmth, kissing and licking her nipples.

The tingling sensation of his tongue made her body shiver, bringing a rush of excitement. Her hands moved upwards to his hair, letting her fingers run through it. She failed to hide her moans, a few escaping, causing a surge of ecstasy to run to her toes, which curled in response. It was quite difficult to maintain her composure.

Her whimpers drove him crazy, glazing her teats tenderly like they were his favorite type of ice cream he couldn't get enough of.

She looked down at Heeseung's erection, grabbing it in her hand. Her fingers wrapped around it gradually, her heart rate racing, mind all over the place. She was lost in passion and had a hard time believing this was happening.

He leaned to her ear, his breath brushing over her after whispering her name. Her touch sent shivers down his spine, but he was also excited at the same time. It's been a while since the last time he had felt the sensation of a woman's touch on him, and he liked it.

She kept guiding her hand, traveling up and down his shaft. He continued twitching in her hand, overstimulated by her touch and existence. She struggled to properly inhale, the intensity of their activities sucking in all the clear oxygen roaming around the room.

Heeseung was going crazy. He was shivering and jolting, all his sensations heightening, and his body was becoming a little sensitive. She didn't have to touch his sensitive area to make him squirm. The way she used her hand to stroke him made any self-control he had left fly out of the window. The pleasure of her touch was overbearing.

"I missed you so much," she confessed, her thumb pressing on the head of his member, causing him to hiss in pleasure.

"I missed you too, Y/N," he whispered, letting a low moan slip out of his lips. She had his full attention. Not even his breath would slip away.

The way she took pride in making him squirm and moan, the way she traced him like a paintbrush across a canvas, made his heart skip a beat, wanting more of her.

He slowly thrust his member into her hand, practically using her to ease his arousal. She guided her palm gently down his shaft, letting him pleasure himself using her body. She kissed his neck, gently biting it. It was fun to care for the dominant one in the relationship.

Heeseung groaned as her lips kissed and nibbled on his neck. The feeling of the kisses left the blood running hot through his veins, sending a rush of heat through, slightly spasming below.

His hands moved down her body, one of them grasping her hips. She groaned as he felt his fingers circling her sacred part, spitting down for easy access inside.

"You shouldn't be doing this," he panted, his index playing with her clit.

"I should be the one pleasuring you," he stopped her from doing anything more, not wanting her to feel as though she needed to compensate him in any way.

His hand moved down to her body, skimming over her skin and body before settling down between her legs. His fingers caressed her folds, sending shivers.

"But I want to," she pouted, attempting to close her legs when his face was inches away from her exposed lower part.

"I know you do, but it's time that I got to return the favor to you," he cupped her thighs, squeezing them gently as he lifted her legs over his shoulders.

She covered her mouth, closing her eyes the minute his tongue brushed over her woman parts, causing her to throw her head back from euphoria.

Heeseung's touch was gentle but firm. He wasn't being forceful, he wasn't being rough, he was merely enjoying the moment of watching her body shake and tremble.

His hand moved lower and lower, his finger tracing your entrance.

His spit slipped inside, alongside his fingers, moving them in and out with ease while licking her clit. He pushed his fingers in more, curling them upwards to hit that sweet spot that would make her moan and groan in pleasure.

"Hee," she panted, drooling over how good she was feeling, tugging his hair since she needed to hold onto something. After all, she was going through cloud nine.

His touch left her gasping for air like a dying woman. She had no choice but to squirm and moan, letting a wave of ecstasy take over. It felt like she was in another world, the feeling extremely intense.

Heeseung's fingers circled and moved inside her, causing her to dissolve. She gritted her teeth, hands forming into fists as the pleasure overstimulated her.

His were moving slowly and methodically, focused on her that the world around him almost didn’t exist anymore.

It was as if the both of them were in their little worlds, enjoying the feeling of being together, their breathings syncing, bodies blending into one blossom. His hands slowly picked up the pace, going slightly quicker while remaining gentle.

"Hee," she called out softly, fighting to contain her lewd sounds, legs shaking slightly as the stimulations were overlapping. She felt like she was going to explode any second.

He knew what you were going through because he could see her expressions rapidly changing with each lick and curl. She was reaching that point where she couldn't hold it in anymore. It made him happy since this was proof that he was capable of pleasuring her to such an extent.

"I love you," she cried from the pleasure, arms crossing over her face to hold it all in. His fingers were quickly moving deeper and faster. He wanted her to experience as much as she could right now.

The words of affection got Heeseung feeling all mushy inside. He wanted to please her, to make her experience everything he could give.

"I-" her mind went blank, turning your head from one side to the other, feeling her climax building up inside. She was so close, and she couldn't hold on anymore. Her hand immediately grabbed his free one, tightly gripping it.

Heeseung didn't stop, speeding up to drive her over that edge.

"Hee-" she called desperately, legs shaking as he kept licking and moving his fingers quicker.

"Relax… Just relax, Y/N… Let go, let go for me," he said, his voice soft but commanding.

Without another minute, her nails dug deeper, her body shaking and tugging rapidly as she reached her climax, completely covering his fingers in her arousal. Heeseung smiled, licking all of her cum from his fingers and entrance, edging her with his kitten licks.

"Fuck," she cursed, overstimulated by everything.

She felt like all the tension had left her body - as if gravity had let go, and she was floating in the air. Her mind was blank, body trembling, breath quick and shaky as the feeling of pleasure was running all through your system.

"Heeseung," she whispered, pulling him closer.

He smiled a little as he moved his hand up to her cheek.

She wrapped her arms and legs around his body, kissing his neck over and over again.

"Please, put it in," she begged, resting in his embrace.

The moment she spoke was almost like music to his ears, and Heeseung knew exactly what you were asking for.

He gently pushed her down onto her back, leaning over with his hand trailing down her shoulder and chest to her neck. He let his other hand move lower slowly to touch her properly.

"Are you ready?", he whispered.

She kissed him, letting her actions speak. Her tongue immediately slid inside, breathing and moaning into his mouth.

He matched her energy, his tongue fighting with hers. He wasn't being gentle, neither was he being a beast. He was allowing the moment to unfold, not rushing it. The wet kisses were leaving them yearning for more.

"I don't want to wait anymore, Hee," she conveyed, wholly resting her body on the bed. Her legs were still wrapped around his waist, putting her arms above her head.

It was her way of letting him know that she was ready. That she needed him, now.

Those words sent his blood boiling, causing his member to twitch and jolt from the feeling of wanting her so badly.

He looked down at her marvelous body, noticing the position she had placed herself in for him - the invitation he saw in her eyes made him go wild.

He leaned down to her, his breath handling her with every word that came out of his mouth.

"Are you sure you can handle me?" he whispered, his voice a little low and husky from the intense moment.

"Stop talking and just do it already," her patience was getting thin, rubbing her lower part against his.

He grinned, unable to hold back the smile on his face after she snapped at him. With his body resting over hers, his hands went to the back of her legs, squeezing them slightly.

He looked into her eyes once more before pushing his body forward, aligning his shaft at her entrance. It wouldn't have been Heeseung if he hadn't teased first, rubbing his member against her slickness. He enjoyed watching her whimper in agony and frustration.

Her mind went blank the more he teased, swept away from his touch. There wasn't one single thought in her mind, merely focusing on this moment.

Her hands gripped his muscular arms, moans getting louder with each moment he rubbed against her beautiful body.

Heeseung's mind was on nothing but giving her satisfaction. Her legs gripped his back, voice becoming more breathy and soft as she wanted him to ease her arousal.

He smiled, and without a warning, he put himself in, his dick sliding inside her smoothly, causing both of them to moan loudly.

Her slippery and hot walls trapped him inside, trying to soothe his tugging and jerking shaft. He groaned, his abdomen drawing in at every push, shaking his head from the vigor of pleasure. She was unreal, her beauty, her body, just all of her.

Heeseung opened his eyes after calming down, his breathing deepening. His lips agonized for hers, huffing his compressed desire and longing into a powerful and passionate kiss. It was the longest one of today, sucking her lips in his mouth, his tongue grazing over, between, or under them continuously. He couldn't get enough, cursing at how unbelievable this was.

Her heart was beating so fast she could feel it in her ears, not believing that this was happening to her right now.

"H-Hees…" she could barely say his name as her voice quivered. He was using one hand to hold her against him, his other moving down to her hand.

"Y/N…" He breathed out, his voice husky and shaky. His thumb rubbed her hand, squeezing it gently to the point she could feel his touch.

The feeling of him being inside was a mix of many things, but the main factor was that it felt right. His body fit like a puzzle inside, like two pieces finally joining together.

She had used this expression before, but there was no better way of describing this bliss. It was too perfect to be true.

She was losing her mind, forgetting to breathe.

“Take a deep breath,” he whispered, the words barely audible from being so lost in the moment.

His hips slowly moved alongside her, their bodies now both thrusting together, absolutely lost in the moment.

All of his thoughts disappeared, the rush for pleasure consuming him. His lips met her shoulder between kisses, his tongue licking along it.

She did as he said, inhaling and exhaling filthy noises, turning him on even more. Her eyes were teary, not because it hurt, but because it felt too good.

“Good girl,” he whispered, caressing her hair.

His hips kept moving, taking longer, his back arching as he did. It took everything in him not to lose himself in the pleasure, to hold back and make sure that this was a long and enjoyable experience for both sides.

"Don't ever leave me again, please," she pleaded, realizing how emotional she was getting with each thrust. The fear inside was climbing over her walls, ready to ambush.

"Never," he vowed, kissing her with such desperation that he couldn't control himself any longer. It was like he was craving more of her.

Her hands held onto his hips, nails digging into his skin for support. Her legs were starting to give up, shaking from the intensity and ecstasy of their lovemaking.

Heeseung noticed her legs, moving his hand down to grip her thigh and hold it up slightly. He knew that he had to make adjustments to take it slower and not wear her out so quickly.

“Heeseung,” she breathed out, watching their bodies moving together with every single thrust. How he slid inside her and pulled away, completely disappearing inside her while hitting her hallowed spot. She threw her back, the image sending goosebumps all over.

He watched her body twitch and shiver, nails digging into his back. His breath was growing shaky, incapable of thinking about anything but being inside of her, enjoying the moment when the two of them were connected completely.

She looked at him through her droopy eyelids, toiling to look straight as he kept pushing himself deeper. Her mouth was drooling slightly, a light string of saliva tracing down her neck. This had to be what they meant by being fucked until your brain was empty.

"I love you," he moaned, his voice shaking and his breath increasing in speed. He could barely keep himself from falling in that moment; he was trying his best to keep a steady rhythm.

Her eyes rolled back, completely deteriorating in his thrusts. The deeper he fucked her, the more her insides quivered.

Heeseung pushed even deeper, his mouth open and his breaths coming out in small puffs of white air.

Her nails left long scratches on his back, losing control over herself.

"I'm here," he whispered against her neck. "I'm not going anywhere." Every word he said had a sense of urgency and determination to it. He was there, in her arms and he wasn't leaving her.

"I love you so much, Hee," she sobbed, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. Her moans occasionally slipped out due to his magical thrusts, becoming one with him.

"I love you too," he said quietly as he raised his other hand to her forehead and gently ran his fingers through her bangs. His hand came down to caress her cheek and he looked directly into her eyes. The passion he felt for her was overwhelming, and he couldn't think of anything at this moment but her and the wonderful moment they were sharing.

Heeseung moved his mouth back to her neck, kissing and nibbling softly. This feeling of belonging and unity between the two of them was just incredible.

His thrusts were longer but at the same time slower, his hand moving down her thigh and moving her legs down to his, he needed more grip for the both of their pleasure.

She bit her lips, eyes shutting at the phenomenal experience, throwing her head back and slightly arching. Her chest started hurting a bit, as their intercourse was getting a bit intense.

"Hey," he breathed, pulling himself out for a moment from your body. "Are you okay?"

It seemed that he caught on to the fact that she was beginning to feel some pain. He moved to the side and looked down at her, his face concerned.

"Sorry, it just," she pointed to the wound, exhaling loudly.

He realized that he made her discomforted. He couldn't stop himself from frowning, his face looking concerned.

"Don't apologize," he said, his voice a little low. "Just tell me what I can do to help relieve the pain, alright?"

"Maybe if we lay on our sides," she proposed, struggling to make herself turn

"That's a good idea," he helped her turn, leaning behind her and putting his arms around to help her stay in that position. His body eased into that position, laying his head behind her, arms holding her, and his chest touching her back.

"That's better," she smiled, breathing a bit easier now.

"I'm sorry for hurting you. I was enjoying the moment so much that I got a little carried away…"

"No, it's ok, I was enjoying it as much as you," she turned her head back a bit, grabbing his hands and putting it on her stomach.

Heeseung's body relaxed after her reassurance, leaning in more to wrap himself around her, the top half of his body covering her while the lower half pushed deeper into her.

She whimpered when he slid back in, squeezing his hands with a resonant sigh. This time, he was slower and more gentle, kissing from her nape all down her spine, leaving a lengthy trace of ardor. His mouth traced slowly down her back, turning his adoration into a sensational experience.

It was different this time because his concerns about her comfort were clambering. He never wanted to hurt her, only aiming to give her pleasure. Hence, he grabbed her leg, putting it over his so he had more space to enter deeper, to hit that spot that sent her through the roof.

As expected, she let out a deep gasp, the sound escaping from her almost involuntarily. Heeseung's tongue traced another slow line down her spine and back up again, savoring her taste.

He caressed her inner thigh, moving his hand back to her chest to play with her teats. His thumb and index grabbed them, twisting them around. He loved her appearance, but her breasts were the real treasure he never got enough of.

Words weren't able to describe how incredible this moment was, how their bodies connected and merged into one blossom of fervor.

His hands trailed up and down, drafting her marvelous curves. His touch felt light and gentle, yet there was still a sense of urgency and power behind it.

"You're so fucking beautiful, it's driving me crazy," he cursed, squeezing her breast.

"You're… you're so perfect," he spat out in between kisses, his body getting comfortable and used to this position. He bit down more forcefully on her neck, his kisses leaving more and more red marks.

"Hold me close, please," she whimpered, looking for his hands on her body.

"I got you," he said, body shifting to fully align with hers, arms gripping her from behind to tighten. He brought his face into her neck, his breathing speeding up with each kiss he gave her.

"Never let go," she sobbed, squeezing his hands with her trembling ones.

"Never, I promise," he pledged, holding her close to his chest.

She could feel his heart beating in time with hers, both sounding like they were about to explode.

"Never," she repeated, praying it was going to become true.

Heeseung kissed her deeply and passionately, pressing his body up against hers.

He was aware of her intonation, the worries raking in her head. Every kiss was stronger, more intense, and hotter than the last as he had to destroy all of them, one by one. His lips moved along her neck, tongue encircling on her neck, licking along it as he left no spot untouched.

She sat up, pushing him back on the bed. Heeseung's eyes widened, his reflexes quickly grabbing her wrists to prevent her from falling back.

She slightly groaned, lowering her head a little to catch her breath.

"Can you also sit up?" she proposed, wanting the two of you to make love while hugging each other.

He did as she asked, lifting himself a bit, leaning his back against the bed as he sat up with his legs spread. His hands held her back, one of his hands moving down to hold her leg as the other rested back on his. His mouth met hers, giving her a long kiss, not letting go of her in any way.

"I wanted to look at you," she voiced as she guided his shaft back inside her, scrunching her face.

"That's fine," he breathed out, his voice hoarse from being in her again, the constant switching driving his member to aggravate.

His eyes looked at her while her body trembled and twitched, his body feeling incredible. It was almost like being high, heavenly, and divine.

"I can feel your heart beating against mine," she smiled, her chest brushing against his, her perky nipples stimulating themselves.

Heeseung's heart beat faster every time she did that, her soft hands tenderly caressing his body, as if it would break in her delicate touch. She went over the muscles of his leg, his stomach, his chest, and eventually his arms. Her touch sent shivers down his spine and made him moan and sigh, realizing just how much she was driving him crazy.

"I missed you so much," she chuckled, masking the pain in her voice by cupping his cheeks.

"I missed you too," he breathed out, his lips locking with yours, making sure to kiss her deeply to show how much she meant to him.

Every kiss and bite seemed to drive a feeling of euphoria through his body, like every time he kissed her, a wave of happiness and satisfaction coursed through.

She closed her eyes when he caressed her back, circling it with a tender push. He made her feel so comfortable and safe, all with just one look, one touch, one kiss.

His kiss was the sweetest thing, his hands and lips exploring every inch of her. He wanted to feel all of her curves and touch every inch of her skin.

Her fingers wandered into his hair as the kiss deepened, huffing into his mouth while gently moving up and down, making both of them feel the most wonderful fractions inside.

He pulled her closer, their bodies wrapped around each other, unable to let go of one another. Their hands rested along each other's sides and their legs slightly entwined underneath.

Heeseung's tongue slid in and out of her mouth, exploring all of the areas he had already tasted before. He licked her upper lip after moving his hands down her hips.

He firmly gripped them, guiding her up and down his cock while he sucked on her neck, leaving trails of hickeys.

His breath warmed her icy skin and his lips kissed and nibbled along. Her body was starting to tremble and shake, his tongue returning to her lips. His kisses were extremely passionate, the ones where she forgot to breathe or think.

She pulled away, staring into his eyes through her lax gaze, mouth slightly agape, lips covered in their saliva. Her brain was empty, not thinking about anything but his presence and being inside her.

It felt like a deer caught in the headlights, clueless and innocent.

Heeseung smirked, watching her stare back but not knowing what to say. She appeared so pure it made him want to kiss her over and over again, fully swallow her in smooches and happiness.

He ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her face towards him again, this time gently kissing her neck.

Her wet lips brushed against his neck, quietly puffing and huffing. Her saliva was pooling on his shoulder since she rested her face on it, unintentionally drooling from the sensation.

Neither of them had any intention of stopping, wanting this moment to be eternal. When he saw how much she was enjoying herself, when he felt how aroused she was and how much he was giving her pleasure his lips curled into a satisfied smile.

His hands moved back from her cheeks to her hips again, squeezing her waist. His kisses still moved along her neck, his tongue occasionally nibbling at her collarbone and leaving it slightly red from the small love bites. 

She was drunk-dazed from his love and affection, from his kisses and touch, from his presence. One man was enough to wreck your entire world over and gather it up back, and that was Lee Heeseung. 

"I love you," he muttered. 

Nothing else was on his mind other than how gorgeous she looked, how incredible she felt, and how good it was to see every expression on her face from pleasure to satisfaction.

"Say it again," she murmured into his ear, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"You want me to.. say it again?" he asked, his voice a bit playful, yet his smile warm and genuine.

He moved his tongue to the side of her neck, running it from her ear to her collarbone, kissing it softly.

"I love you."

"Again," she smiled, closing her eyes from the exhaustion.

Heeseung chuckled, caressing her cheeks and running his fingers through her hair.

"Hmm, should I?" He teased, his voice mischievous.

"Should I say it again?" His breath and hand fondled her neck with marks.

"Mhm," she nodded, lazily dragging her lips on his neck.

"I love you..." he breathed out, moving his lips down until they reached hers.

"How many times do you want me to say it?"

"Until the day I die," she mumbled, eyelids shut and mouth still drooling, body completely relaxed and leaning against his.

"I love you," he repeated, giving you a light kiss.

"I love you." Another kiss

"I love you." Another one.

"I love you." The last one, slightly rougher than the rest. 

"How much, though?" her eyelids open a little, giving him a tired, but extremely seductive look, the one he lost himself in each time. 

"Hmm.. let me think," he chuckled, feeling the hotness mounting in himself from her look alone.

"If I could, I would take all of your pain away and replace it with the happiness you deserve. I would give you the whole world just to see you smile in my arms every day. I would give my life to make yours wonderful. I would sacrifice anything just so you can feel safe and loved. "

She whimpered at his words, eyes watering and insides rolling over. Her nails dug into his back again, hiding her flushed, red face in his shoulder.

"I would fight for you and protect you with my life, not allow anyone to hurt you ever again. I would fondle you in love and affection, from the moment you open your eyes till you close them," Heeseung breathed out, her scent intoxicating him.

"S-stop," she whinced in pleasure, eyes rolling back. The more he spoke, the closer she was to cumming, his words messing up her insides.

"You're my world, my life, my home, my reason to breathe every day. I want to take care of you and protect you, make you happy, and keep you warm every single time you feel cold or sad," his breathing shallowed as he spoke, feeling incredibly turned on by her reaction.

"E-enough," she pulled back, throwing her head back. He grabbed her wrists, not allowing her to escape his love.

"Never," he responded, pulling her back into his arms.

"I want to be with you all the time, I want to feel your body against mine, I want to make you feel loved, I want you to be mine and me to be yours until we die."

"S-shut u-up," she stuttered out, knowing she was minutes away from her orgasm.

"Why would I stop? " he asked, moving his thumb over her shoulder, circling and brushing her skin with the slight graze of a nail, leaving little marks on her skin.

He was also close to his climax, so he was more determined to finish the job than ever. His body tightened around her and his kissing became more profound and stronger.

"You need to hear the truth," he hissed in her ear, clasping her buttocks in his hands, pushing her onto his dick. 

"H-Heseung, I'm gonna-" she trembled, biting onto his shoulder to keep her loud moans in.

"Don't hold it in," his mouth ran along her shoulder and her arm, the marks getting darker with every kiss.

"Cum with me, please," she pleaded urgently as if her life mattered to it. 

"I will, don't worry," he kissed her cheek, caressing her head. 

Without another minute, her nails dug deeper, her pussy trapping his shaft in her fully. Her walls spasmed in a periodic pattern, sucking him in. Her clear cum glistened his shaft, wrapping him in its warmth and comfort. 

"Good girl," he whispered, his jaw twitching slightly. He wrapped both of his arms tighter and pulled her into a messy kiss.

His release followed up right after, managing to pull out just in time to cover her abdomen in his crystal white load. He panted as his fingers traced his cum on her stomach, spreading it all across her. 

His other hand gently laid her down, licking all of his mess off of her, the same way he did with her own. 

Perhaps it was the overstimulation he loved to observe on her or the fact that she clung to him more after cumming. Either way, he didn't stop rolling his wet tongue along her body. 

"My good girl," Heeseung whispered into her slick hole, pushing his tongue inside to slurp up all of her cum like it was a treat. 

Did he love her? Yes.

However, was he a bit of a sadist? Yes.

A low moan escaped his lips as he felt his mouth filled with her cum, his free hand gripping hers tightly. 

"H-hee."

He lifted his stare, landing on her adorable one, beseeching him to hug her. 

"You look so cute when you’re all tired like this, Y/N," he smirked, a faint peck landing on her cheek. His hand intertwined with her, the other playing with her hair. 

Sometimes, the amount of love he harvested for her managed to surprise him, finding himself falling apart in her touch and gaze. 

"H-hee," she whispered, closing her eyes. She tried to fight her exhaustion, but it was starting to get to her.

He saw how drowsy she looked, so he pulled her tighter to his body. 

"Go to sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up," he kissed her, his voice very relaxed and comforting.

"You promise?" she murmured, half asleep on his chest. 

"I promise," he assured, kissing her forehead and tucking her against him, pressing her body against his.

His hands stayed on her side, keeping her safely in his warm embrace.

"Until the day I die."

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Taglist: @end-hyphen, @hee-pster, @jakeswifeyy, @gegeetime, @heerated, @jayked, @forjongseong, @enhastolemyheart

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! ^^

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@maggstar

[prince-liest]

some recent thoughts on Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao, and why even though I find Nie Mingjue very frustrating in the midst of his Baxia-induced anger issues, I think he’s also a pretty sympathetic character as a whole and it’s really understandable why he thinks the way he does

(as someone who ships 3zun and nieyao, and through the lens of “Jin Guangyao is my blorbo”)

I’ve seen a tendency to paint NMJ and JGY’s relationship in black and white in terms of who was fundamentally more in the right, which to be honest is not really the approach I take to fandom in general. to me the tragedy is that NMJ and JGY before JGY's casting-out had immense respect and perhaps even love (platonic, romantic, whatever) for each other. in the end, a lack of mutual understanding of each others' circumstances that could have otherwise eventually been overcome was driven, by bigotry, Jin Guangshan, and the Nie cultivation style, into becoming an insurmountable difference that eventually killed them both

NMJ definitely Did Not Get where JGY was coming from when JGY was making survival decisions and keeping secrets. he was simply not raised in a way where he ever even had to think about the types of choices that JGY has been forced to make since he was quite young. but at the same time, NMJ was a teenager raising his brother and his sect from a very young age and I think it's a disservice to his character to fail to acknowledge that his entire life he expected to die a young and horrific death, just like he watched his father die, and that this expectation deeply colors his approach to the world. JGY plays the long game. NMJ does not get to think about that, he just has to raise his brother, win a war, and try not to drive his sect into the ground before he kicks the bucket in a violent and gruesome manner. he does not have a choice about any of these things.

and said things are extremely difficult to do, especially as a teenager, which I think is a reflection of MDZS's whole thing where their entire generation is just traumatized by war and conflict and a dearth of genuine, honorable guidance and leadership, which leads to such fractures

but it's also a series of tasks that required the kind of attitude that Nie Mingjue develops, and that in combination with Baxia’s influence gives him this really immovable perspective on life that he just won't budge on with JGY. I think it’s really significant that when Jin Guangyao does regularly play Clarity for NMJ, they get along quite well. and I also think it's really understandable why NMJ is so stubborn and headstrong - he's had to fight his way through being sect leader and not take "no" for an answer, because what the hell else can a young, new leader do to avoid being taken advantage of? frankly even if he had taken up a bit of whatever guile Nie Huaisang didn’t hog from the Nie gene pool... why would he direct it towards self-preservation? he has no room for that kind of fear because he is going to be dead in a few years.

importantly as well, Nie Mingjue unjustly judges Jin Guangyao because he is unable to understand the context that JGY is coming from, but that same righteousness is the reason that he's the first person to have given Meng Yao a fair shake and rewarded his hard work and labor, and that matters a lot to Jin Guangyao and their relationship as a whole. you can’t really have one without the other unless you give Nie Mingjue time to grow up.

unfortunately, Nie Mingjue died his 20s, and was in his teens when the Sunshot Campaign began. look me in the eyes and explain to me what kind of behavior you expect from a 20-something with a magic rage sword.

[hoesplay]

𝕂𝕒𝕚𝕤𝕖𝕣 𝕒𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕔𝕣𝕦𝕤𝕙

𝘩𝘢𝘩𝘢 #1 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘣𝘰𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘒𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘳

𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘖𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 <3

ｗｏｒｄ ｃｏｕｎｔ： １１３３ ｇｅｎｒｅ： ｆｌｕｆｆ （？） ｔｗ： Ｋａｉｓｅｒ ｉｓ ｋｉｎｄ ｏｆ ａ ｊｅｒｋ

·        Kaiser who looks at you with gleaming eyes, so tender and uncharacteristic, but only when you don’t notice him. The moment you turn your head in his direction, he’s rolling his eyes and scoffing. He makes you wonder what the hell is his problem a lot; last time you checked, you didn’t do anything to be on his blacklist. Or does crushing his ego count?

·        Pleasant is a big word. If being mean would be a love language, it would definitely be Kaiser’s. Afterall, his looks don’t seem sufficient to gain your attention, so he has to compensate for it. He gets frustrated a lot about this. Are you ill? Do you have an eye problem? Do you prefer girls instead? He’s a young talented athlete, well-built, pretty tall and beautiful on top of it. He takes a lot of care of his physical appearance, and adding the bright future that’s awaiting him, it propels his ego to astronomical levels. Confidence is not something he lacks, but whenever he is in your presence, it just seems to shrivel.

·        He is used to having people swarm around him, praise him and all that “Emperor” bs. Having to work to be by your side was not something that was appealing for him. “Why do I even care so much in the first place?”

·        At first, he was 100% convinced that he hated your guts. He wanted to convince himself that you are inferior to him. He would do things out of his way to flaunt his achievements in your face.

·        The moment he started to see things in a different light was when Kaiser noticed you warming up to one of your classmates. He was denying the budding feeling that was rumbling in his chest. “You have to be kidding me.”. He felt like his entire existence was denied. He tried confronting you about this matter. “Are you really chasing after that runt when you can do so much better?”, you raised your eyebrow at his out of the blue question. “Better? Do you mean I should chase after you? No thanks.”

·        Since then, he started noticing small things about you, and that’s when he was doomed. You weren’t treating him like the big shot he is, you were considering him like everybody else. No hierarchy, no theatrical roles, no stage to play on.

·        He takes some time to put the pieces together and he comes at the conclusion that he has a massive crush on you. Nothing made sense though; you were not the damsel in distress that needed her prince’s saving, as he imagined in the theatre of his mind.

·        Kaiser tries to keep an indifferent façade. He doesn’t know how to approach his newfound feelings, so he wants to see if it’s “just a phase” that would pass. But the jolt in his heart didn’t make it any easier, he only seemed to get worse. He likes to imagine situations where you would do little acts of service for him, like massaging his shoulders when they are stiff, doing his eyeliner with gentle hands, giving him a small kiss as a good luck charm and so on.

·        Kaiser thought at some point that he could court you with big extravagant gestures. He would bring you expensive gifts on a daily basis, even though you always rejected them. You’d hear him whisper under his breath “Hmm, so they don’t like this color. Noted”. He didn’t take a hint until you told him directly. “Stop buying me stuff. It’s so unnecessary. It’s not like I don’t appreciate it, but it doesn’t hold any significance. Don’t you have better things to do with your money? I don’t even know why you’re doing this. Do you want to flaunt your wealth? Or do you want to buy my attention? Either of these is extremely rude.”

·        He also tried inviting you to fine dining, offering to bring you along on expensive trips, ordering flowers to arrive at your door frequently. When all his attempts got turned down, he felt as if his list went out of options. He didn’t want to give up just yet, so he started asking the girls that were flocking around him what was their favorite romance movie. He got the worst ideas after watching them.

·        Making you jealous is out of the question, since you would already have been if that was the case. Afterall, any girl would die to be in his presence. I won’t start to describe the describe the atrocities that went through his mind. By far the worst of all was when he forced a kiss on you. It was just the two of you, he looked intently at your face, contemplating his decision, before thinking “What could possibly go wrong?”. So he grabbed you by the collar, catching you by surprise, before smashing his lips on yours. He was hoping it would be just like in movies and you would melt into his arms, returning the kiss with ardor and want, but it didn’t happen. All that he got was a stinging bruise on his cheek.

·        Kaiser apologized to you profusely the next day, and then decided to let things rest for a while. No crazy ideas or other aberrations. He realized he crossed some boundaries, so the next logical thing would be to let you approach him in a romantic way. The thought of confessing to you never crossed his mind, he wanted you to declare your undying love for him.

·        Things went back to normal in a way. He keeps bothering you, flirty pick-up lines, ruffling your hair, pinching your nose or cheek, and just being Kaiser. When it’s just the two of you, he shows his affection through small gestures that come more naturally. Are your shoelaces untied? He will bend down and tie them for you (sometimes he would attempt to tie them all together and you smack him). He gives you his jacket or scarf when you are cold (then proceeds to complain that he can’t afford to get ill since he’s a pro athlete). He buys you your favorite dessert when he sees you gloomy (he asks to be spoon-fed after but shuts up when you give him a nasty glare).

·        Of course, he won’t stop the teasing gestures. How is he supposed to compete when his personality was mid-tier at best?

·        It’s quite funny how you can humble “God’s chosen Emperor”. Whenever he exaggerates anything, one quirked eyebrow is enough to shush him. Of course, you’re not blind. You know that he has a crush on you (it’s not that hard to miss). You’re just waiting for the time he’ll grow up, get some balls and confess to you properly.

·        Only God knows how you have the power and patience to handle him.

𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 :)

[sugarbabey0]

Glamrock Bonnie x GN Reader

——————

Summary: You started at the PizzaPlex as a nighttime security guard weeks ago, and had yet to run into the infamous Glamrock Bonnie. When you finally do, he offers to bowl with (or technically against) you.

Little did he know you sucked at bowling. Bad.

Basically Bonnie teaches you to bowl after you pathetically embarrass yourself :D

Word Count: 2,637

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hi this is really self indulgent because i want more silly bonnie fics and there’s not enough for me. so i just wrote my own yippeeee

(this can also be found on my ao3 @/bonnieluvr05)

One last stop. One last place to check before you could reside in the security office with a large cup of coffee and some snacks for the rest of the night. Finally. Not that being the only human security guard-or just human, period- in the PizzaPlex was bad, it just got a little lonely. And once you got to the office, you could scroll mindlessly on your phone and occasionally check the cameras. Once you did a sweep of the whole plex, the rest of the night consisted of watching them to make sure no one snuck in. And nothing happened. Ever. It really just served as a time for you to catch up on shows or play games on your phone. And that, you didn’t mind one bit. Getting paid 20 dollars an hour to do basically nothing? Sounded like a plan.

The loud sounds of the Fazcade- that you could still somehow hear over your earbuds- faded as you walked towards your last stop for the night. You’d just so happened to leave your favorite place for last. Coincidence or not, you let out a relieved breath as the Bonnie Bowl logo came into view. Ever since you started here a few weeks ago, the vibe of the bowling alley seemed to be the one you were most drawn to. You’d never actually bowled here or met the infamous bunny mascot, but when you would do your routine sweeps, this place put you at the most ease. Maybe it was the nostalgia of bowling alleys since you hadn’t bowled since you were a child.

Avoiding the various security bots patrolling around, you came to a stop in front of the elevators to enter Bonnie Bowl. You pushed the button and waited before stepping in. Once it reached the top floor and the doors opened, you stepped in with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm. You couldn’t help it, you really did love the atmosphere of this place. And you got to relax after you were done.

You flicked on your flashlight and began checking the main lobby to make sure there was nothing unusual. As you scanned the area, you stalled on the rows upon rows of bowling balls of various colors and patterns. One on the far end caught your eye though. It was isolated, to begin with. Standing upon its own stand was a deep indigo ball with red stars of different sizes scattered among it. You kept half heartedly scanning the area with your light as you approached it. When you got to the ball, you reached your hand out to feel it, and you could tell by the rough exterior this was a well loved ball.

You were busy examining it when you heard a muffled voice. You froze. Who on earth was that? You didn’t think there was anyone when you scanned the area, but then again you were so excited to look at all the bowling balls that you did a half ass look around. The voice in your head began pulling far fetched scenarios out, making you hesitant to do anything. Surely if it was someone here to hurt you they’d have done it by now, not talked to you. You pulled an earbud out slowly, and kept your stare on the bowling ball in front of you.

“-you like?” The voice became clear after your hearing was back to normal, but you still were scared and confused. If it were a trespasser, they’d definitely not be talking. So, you turned around. And standing in front of you was none other than Glamrock Bonnie himself.

The animatronics were still something you were getting used to. You were never a fan of them as a child, as their blank stares and jerky movements always rubbed you the wrong way. But when you started working here, your whole perception of them was flipped. These animatronics were fluid, had expressive faces, and their ai made them feel oddly human. It was quite the opposite of the ones you’d known as a kid.

Bonnie was one you’d never even seen in person. You caught a glance of the main four of the band on stage finishing a show one night as you came in, and the daycare attendant personally sought you out and introduced himself to you on your first night. Once or twice you’d bumped into Freddy before he went off and did… whatever it was they did at night. But other than that, you tended to steer clear of them. They still freaked you out a little and you’d rather get your job done quickly.

You realized you’d been staring for a good while and cleared your throat awkwardly.

“Oh. Hello.” You said quietly. You felt a lot more relaxed after you saw it was just one of the animatronics, and not a murderer. Still a little uneasy, but not scared. You realized he said something earlier but you didn’t pick it up.

“What were you saying?” You asked, offering him a small smile. He stepped closer to you and pointed to the bowling ball you’d been examining.

“Said, see something you like?” His eyes gleamed with pride as he smiled and said, “That one’s mine.

Ah. That would explain it being isolated. You shrugged as you glanced back at the ball with a frown. “Was just trying to remember the last time I even bowled. It’s been a few years. I used to love it as a kid.”

When you looked back up, Bonnie was grinning instead of smiling. Wow, these animatronics sure were expressive. He gestured to the rows of bowling balls. “Pick one out and we’ll play right now.”

You stared at him. What? You started to fabricate a lie, because in all honesty you just wanted to get back and relax in the office. “I’d love to, but I have to get back to the security office so I can watch the cams,” You gave a small smile as an apology and began to walk towards the door, but a metallic hand on your shoulder stopped you.

“You’re passing up an offer to bowl with the Glamrock Bonnie. You sure? I don’t offer that often.” He said in a voice that seemed to be challenging you. Great, now you couldn’t say no.

With a sigh, you turned back around and looked him in the eye. “Okay, okay. But I can’t stay long, because I don’t wanna be fired. Maybe one round.” He seemed to perk up at this, and you noticed his ears stood a little taller. Cute.

You scanned the racks of balls and decided on a neon pink one. After you picked your bowling ball up and Bonnie grabbed his, the two of you headed for the lanes. He had a huge smile and kept looking back at you, almost like he was expecting you to be gone. But every time, you were still right there, and still lugging the heavy bowling ball you’d picked.

Once you got to the lanes, you both put your balls into a return machine. You looked at Bonnie, waiting for him to start.

“We’ll play one round and then see what time it is. How about that?” He offered as he typed his name into the screen. He looked at you, waiting for both your answer and to put your name in.

“Yeah, sounds good to me.” You answered as you walked over and typed in your name, noticing he set his as GLAMBON. You looked over at him and giggled, “Do people call you Bon often or did your name just not fit?”

Bonnie’s ears twitched and he shrugged. “Um, didn’t fit,” he mumbled, and you saw he was avoiding looking at you directly. “Should’ve just put Bonnie, Bon’s a stupid nickname anyways..”

You shrugged. You thought it was rather cute, and asked simply because of that. You didn’t say anything, though, as it seemed you already embarrassed him enough.

Bonnie waited for the screen to light up signaling it was ready and walked to the edge of the lane. He looked over his shoulder at you with a glint in his eye. He had his challenging tone back as he spoke, “Ready to get your butt kicked?”

You simply laughed, knowing fully that you probably wouldn’t even come close to his score. He practically lived and breathed bowling. He was the bowling animatronic! You watched as Bonnie threw the ball in one fluid motion, it rolling down the middle of the lane and hitting the pins. All 10 knocked over.

You were honestly impressed.

Bonnie turned around and dramatically bowed, opening one eye as he bent down to gauge your reaction. You dismissed him with a chuckle and picked your ball up, ready to be publicly humiliated. You got to the lane and glanced back at Bonnie.

“Don’t laugh,” was all you said as you pathetically rolled your ball down the lane. It veered to the left, and ended up in the gutter in seconds. You put your head in your hands, shaking it as you heard zero pins be knocked over. Just your dumb ball rolling into the back of the lane. And then you heard it get returned, and that’s when you finally lifted your head and began to turn around.

Your turn got cut short when Bonnie appeared directly behind you with your ball. “Here, I’ll show you how.”

You jumped at his sudden appearance and felt your ears turn red. You hoped him showing you was just him literally showing you and explaining. This was embarrassing enough that you sucked ass at bowling. Now he was gonna teach you how like you were a child. You grabbed the ball, turning back around as quickly as you could. Now you didn’t know what to expect.

What you really didn’t expect was for Bonnie to grab both of your forearms, his entire form engulfing yours as he stood behind you. This was weirdly personal and you could feel every movement Bonnie took. He guided your right arm up until it was bent at the elbow and the ball was right in front of you.

“You want to start here. Really lets you wind up to roll,” he said slowly, “Make sure you support the ball with your other hand.”

His voice vibrated his whole body, which in turn made yours rumble, too. He moved your other arm to support the ball, not that you needed it. He was supporting it all. You were pretty sure your face was bright red from a mix of embarrassment and some other emotion at this point, but you simply nodded as a way to let him know to move to the next step.

“Then,” he started as he moved your right arm back down, pulling you down as well, “you want to slightly bend over as you start to wind up.”

You tried as hard as you could to retain this information, but your mind was going a million miles per minute. You tried to knock some sense into yourself. He probably did this all the time with children, right? Kids suck at bowling, you suck at bowling. Easy solution. Nothing else going on, just his bowling and childcare programming kicking in.

“Okay, then do I just roll it?” You asked, looking back at him from over your shoulder. He laughed, shaking his head.

“Too impatient. You could, but then it won’t go where you want it to. You have to wind all the way back first,” he said, still speaking softly. He pulled away from you. “Stay crouched down, too.”

You mentally groaned at the loss of Bonnie behind you. It was oddly comforting. You listened to him and stayed in a lowered position, trying to remember how you got here. He finally let go of your arms and stepped to the side.

“Now put it all together and see how you do this time.”

You sighed, partly from the loss of Bonnie’s hold but also because you retained maybe two steps. Standing to your full height again, you ran back through the steps. You rolled the ball and it stayed in the middle, for the most part, and as it reached the pins all but three knocked over. You turned to Bonnie, a wide smile growing on your face. His expression matched yours as he started clapping.

“I did that! How did I do that?” You exclaimed, grabbing his arm and shaking him excitedly. Never in your life had you bowled that well. He let you celebrate and watched with a soft look in his eyes.

“See, I’m not the bowling mascot for nothing,” he shrugged, that challenging tone back. You realized he’d gotten vulnerable with you while showing you how to bowl, but quickly covered that side of him back up as soon as he’d shown it.

The two of you played a full round after that, you slowly improving. Even though you got no strikes, nor got close to Bonnie’s score, it still was enjoyable.

“Got my butt kicked, for sure..” you mumbled, staring at the screen in front of you. Bonnie chuckled and hesitated above the ‘play again’ button. He looked over to you for an answer.

You glanced at your watch, seeing that it was already 4 am. You were scheduled until 6, so technically you could stay…

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. Just glad you played one round with me,” Bonnie said quietly, cutting off your thoughts. You frowned at his saddened state, and shrugged.

“I could stay. It would just be your fault if someone broke in and trashed the place,” you laughed, reaching over and hitting the button before he could answer.

——

After the two of you played for longer than you probably should’ve, a beeping from your watch pulled you out of the game you had been in the middle of. You looked down and quickly realized it was the alarm to remind you to clock out and leave soon.

“Wow, it’s already 5:45. I’ve gotta go soon,” you said quietly, looking over as Bonnie came walking back from the lane. He frowned.

“Aww, really? The score was just starting to get close!” He exclaimed. You laughed in response.

“Yeah, I finally know how to play. Thank you,” you smiled, patting his arm. He beamed, dramatically bowing again.

“Oh yeah, forgot I taught you how to do all those cool tricks,” he grinned, standing back up and putting a hand on your shoulder. “Come back next shift, we’ll have to have a rematch.”

You felt your ears turn red hot and nodded. It made you smile knowing that Bonnie liked you enough to invite you to come back again to bowl. Then again, you wanted to come back anyways. You were probably going to drop by Bonnie Bowl more often on your shifts now, whether he invited you or not.

“Okay, gotta go for real now. I have to actually get the place ready for the openers,” you smiled, and gave Bonnie one last glance before starting to walk toward the elevators to leave. You got cut off when Bonnie grabbed your forearm. You turned around, cocking an eyebrow up in question.

He held his arms out, silently asking for a hug. You chuckled as you wrapped your arms around his mid section.

“See you tomorrow, Bon.”

You heard Bonnie’s internal fans kick on as the nickname left your mouth, and you let him let go of the hug first.

“Okay, get out of here before you make me actually overheat,” Bonnie said with a small laugh, patting your head and beginning to walk back towards the lanes.

You smiled and left, looking forward to your next shift for once in your life.

[t-h-i-n-g]

stiles x fem reader

she hates everyone but him trope?

pls and ty xx 💕

Get To Know Them A Little

a/n: you know what i love? going into writing a fic to expect it to be like 600 words and then doubling that. idk why. anyways TY FOR REQUESTING I WAS WAITING FOR A STILES ONE!! Hope you enjoy :))

word count: 1.2k

summary: it wasn't that you hated them per say. more like stiles was just more tolerable than the rest… even if he can be a nut at times.

warnings: none, if there is any let me know!!

teen wolf - mastelist m.masterlist

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You sat in your car, driving to your lover boy's house. The light from the sun glaring into your eyes as it was setting. The streets were surprisingly quiet for a Saturday night. But it was still early. The radio softly played. A tune you weren’t really familiar with hummed quietly as you took a left turn, down onto Stiles’ street. His house slowly came into view. His blue jeep popped out among the neutral colors surrounding it. A light smile grew on your face, before it instantly dropped.

A different vehicle was in the driveway. One that didn’t belong to Stiles or his dad… that you knew of. Maybe Noah had a friend over to y’know catch up and stuff. Getting out of your car you shut the door gently, making your way up the concrete. You paused on the top step, taking a look back at the questioning vehicle.

It seemed so familiar but you just couldn’t place your finger on it. Your brows furrowed as you faced the front door once again. Bringing a hand up to knocked twice. A light rustle could be heard beyond the door. A familiar voice made its way to your ears. A smile once again finding its way to your features.

“I got it,” Stiles said, voice muffled behind the slab of wood. His footsteps grew closer as your smile did as well. Just as he approached the door, someone cut him off.

“No, it's cool. I can get it.” Your smile instantly dropped as the owner of the unknown car opened the door. “Y/n, hey! Are you ready for movie night?” Your attention turned the brunette who stared at you over the man’s shoulder.

“Yes, Scott I am,” sweet venom laced in your voice, “I didn’t know Stiles invited you to our weekly movie night.” Stiles’ face scrunched up at the emphasis of ‘our.’ Sweet oblivious Scott didn’t seem to even notice.

“You guys have these weekly? That’s so cool we should definitely come more often then.” Stiles’ winced, noting how he made a mistake. You gave Scott a tight lipped smile as he turned around. Patting Stiles on the shoulder before heading into the living. He watched him go before turning to meet your eyes. You raised a brow, giving him an expression that could only be read as, ‘really?’ Stiles moved towards you wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Y/nnnn, so glad you could make it. How was the ride over? Any difficulties? How’s your dog? Is Joe doing well?” You let out a snort, bringing yours arms to his shoulders .

“Who’s Joe?”

“Joe mama- I mean isn’t that the name of your mailman?” Another laugh left you. Leave it to Stiles to distract you in the stupidest ways. Once you quieted down you looked him in the eye.

“Seriously though, why is he here?” you asked. He furrowed his brows trying to come up with a way to explain this in the nicest way possible. For your sake and his.

“Well it’s not just Scott-”

“Stiles, where do you keep your chips and salsa?” Lydia questioned coming from around the corner. Making your eyes widened. Lydia turned to look at you, a smile making its way to her lips. “Hi!” An uneasy smile fell onto your features.

“Hey, Lydia. Is it just you and Scott or…?” Her brows scrunched together before her eyes widened. She looked at Stiles accusingly.

“You didn’t tell her we were all here for movie night?” It was your turn for your eyes to expand the size of balloons. Stiles sighed, gripping your waist tighter. Lydia slapped him lightly on the arm before making her way to the kitchen. Deciding she can find the food herself.

“Everyone’s here?” you asked a little flustered.

“You make it sound like a whole army. It’s just Scott, Lydia, Kira, Malia, and Liam.”

“All of them have supernatural powers, Stiles. I’m pretty sure they could count as an army,” you stated.

“I mean technically they could but-”

“You still haven’t answered my question,” you cut him off, “Why did you invite them.” Once again Stiles remained silent for a moment.

“To try and get you to ease up on the group, a little. I figured if you spent more time with them, you would learn to love em,” he tried to explain.

“I don’t hate them, Stiles,” you mumbled,” I just don’t tolerate them well.” He let out an airy chuckled.

“I don’t get how you can stand me, but draw the line at Malia or Scott.” You shrugged, pulling him closer.

“They didn’t swoop me off my feet.”

“That was cheesy.”

“Says you.”

“I’m not cheesy.”

“You and I both know that’s not ture.” Stiles rolled his eyes playfully at your claim.

“Whatever, my point is, all I’m asking you to do is to try and get to know them better.” You purse your lips pondering the thought.

“Fine.” You’d do it for his sake. Stiles fist pumped the air in victory, bringing his lips to yours for a quick kiss before pulling away to head after Lydia into the kitchen.

“Good, good. Now go talk, mingle, converse. I’ll be there in a sec, I’m gonna go grab your chips,” he said, pointing a finger at you. You gave him a salute before dragging yourself into the living room. You entered, all eyes falling to you. Liam spoke first.

“I saved a spot for you and Stiles on the couch,” he informed, gesturing in the direction. You gave him a light smile, a small thank you leaving your lips. His eyes widened at the words before he snapped himself out of it and nodded. “No problem.”

You awkwardly sat down by the arm. The others eyeing you wearily, not really getting the change in atmosphere. Clearing your throat, you spoke up.

“What movie are we watching?” A wave of silence washed over while you looked across the individuals for an answer.

“T-top Gun,” Kira informed, “Malia hasn’t seen it before.” Malia shook her head, confirming she had never saw the film. You nodded once more, turning to the screen as the previews played. Scott looked at Kira.

“Is it just me or was that a little weird?” he whispered to her. She agreed.

“I don’t know if she's ever started a conversation before. Only ever speaking when spoken to.” Stiles made his way back into the room, a bowl of food in hand. He stepped over Liam to his spot next to you. The pair continued to gaze the two of you. A soft ‘Hi’ lift your lips as he placed an arm around your shoulders. You brought your knees to your chest, sinking into his side. A hand moving to crap a couple of chips.

“Unless it's him of course. Then she’s more than eager to talk,” Scott mumbled.

“Well, duh he’s the one she’s in love with,” Malia muttered butting in, nerd ropes in hand as she took another bite from it. “You guys whisper really loud,” she informs. The pair ignored her comment, seeing, how when Stiles whispers something in your ear you try to silence your giggle in his shoulder. He smiles against your forehead, placing a light peck there. You set your head onto his chest while he rubs your back gently, digging into the bowl to fish out some chips with the other.

“Honestly, I’m not even mad she doesn’t talk much. If Stiles’ is happy with her then I’m happy for them,” Scott said turning back at the screen.

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likes and reblogs are appreciated :)

[sjofn-lofnsdottr]

Hey! I love your gposes, and I was wondering if you had any tips on how to get better at making them.

Oh, thank you! You're kind to say so!

I'm gonna approach this like you're super new to it, so I'm sorry if I'm telling you shit you already know! And if you have other questions about something specific, you can DM me if you like, I don't mind. Honestly, that goes for anyone reading this!

I can sense this is going to be stupid long, so I'm also gonna hide a bunch of it behind a cut.

So starting off with vanilla gpose advice, in a general sense I'd say play around with lighting a lot. I usually try to get at least some light spilling onto people from the side (ideally where a light source would be anyway) in order to give them more definition. I know there's gpose lighting tutorials out there that can probably explain it so much better than I can (like this one? maybe?), but it really makes such a huge difference overall. Even when you're taking a picture outside in the sun, a little bit of extra lighting can make stuff look more interesting.

(I might be a little biased, I was a theatrical electrician for a while. I think lighting is neat.)

Another vanilla-applicable thing I'd say is get really, really, really embarrassingly familiar with the in-game emotes, and practice your timing for when you want to freeze them. And don't forget that the 'expression' emotes will override an emote's usual face, which can change the vibe in some fun ways:

And the third piece of vanilla gpose advice I'd give is to mess around with the filters the game has on the 'general settings' tab. Honestly, you've probably done this, but mess around with ALL the things in the gpose menu. Push every button, waggle every slider, just to see what they do.

I'm currently loitering at an art party, so let me show you a little bit what I mean.

So to start, I go into gpose and see what's what. I let all the background people stop facing the camera, and move the camera a bit to an angle I like. I'm sitting in a corner, which is going to mess with the camera more than usual, but in this case, it's messing with it in a way I like, getting me nice and close to Dusk:

Dusk could stand to look friendlier, right? So I head to the emotes tab in the menu, and pick 'beam' for his expression, because it's the smile I like best on him:

Still kinda bleh. Things look a touch murky, and flatter than I like. Before I do ANYTHING with the lighting though, I go here:

And then I save the hell out of the camera position. Saving the camera position has saved me so much pain. This is because placing lights in gpose requires you moving the camera, since they drop exactly where your camera is. But I like this angle, and I don't want to lose it. So I save it! It'll also save lighting settings, which I find handy occasionally, but not nearly as often (it's a lifesaver when I accidentally hit the hotkey that turns off lights though).

I've taken a lot of pictures in this venue, and the pink/white color scheme is uh ... tricky for me, sometimes. But on the upside, white walls and floors bounce light really well! For this picture, I think I want some light coming from the left of the frame to give Dusk slightly more interesting shadows, and a blue light much further away and above to soften the harshness of the white and pink:

My next step is to use the gpose-provided color filters to see if there's anything I like, just in case:

Bright 1 is one I've wound up using a lot, even though it ruins my eyes and makes everything look dark as hell once I come out of gpose.

Now, the white coming from the left is hitting Dusk pretty much exactly how I want it to, but it's lighting up his moogle sundae more than I'd prefer. The way I usually deal with this is using the 'limb darkening' slider. What it does is darken the edge of the picture, to varying degrees. It even has different colors, although I use black pretty much always:

I only used one tick, but it's made me much happier about the sundae! My one complaint now is that I had to turn off depth of field in order to keep Dusk from being blurry (it's a slider, but by the time Dusk looked focus, it might as well have been shut off anyway), but it's something I can live with for a vanilla gpose.

I have reShade installed though, so let's mess with that for fun. I tend to stick to presets that don't stray too far from what the game itself does unless I'm doing dumb vampire artsy things:

But honestly, in this case I don't think it was really necessary.

As for getting better with crimes, I would again stress getting familiar with the game's emotes and attack animations, because they are often a fantastic starting point to modify into something you're wanting to see. Also, this sounds weird (probably) but when I first started out, I did a lot of throw away pictures that no one besides my Discord knitting circle will ever see because everyone is naked in them. I did this for two reasons. Wait, no, three:

I was high when this idea came to me and therefore I lacked my usual shame.

Clothes clipping was driving me crazy and I wasn't good enough to handle it yet. Stripping everyone naked took that out of the equation, so I could focus on actually moving the dollies in peace.

However! It also meant I couldn't depend on clothes to mask some of my worst shortcut sins as far as moving limbs and what it did to their joints went. This meant I got a lot better at knowing how to move the dollies I was working with in the way the models want to be moved and still look right.

Obviously a saner thing to do would be ~beach pictures~ with everyone in swimsuits. Good thing Dawntrail is coming!

Some of the things I learned during this naked process:

While I try to make a pose look good from multiple angles, because I rarely know what angle I'm going to ACTUALLY want until stuff is at least roughed in, if I know for absolute certain I'm only going to take it from one particular angle, it is best for one's sanity to make sure it looks good from that angle and ignore everything you can't see otherwise.

If you ARE taking more than one angle of the same pose, it is not a crime to make little adjustments after you change the angle! This is extra true when you're doing something like a kiss, because noses are the worst. Go ahead and nudge something that looked right from Angle A but a little off from Angle B. No one will know your dark secret.

Somewhat related, sometimes little tweaks are really all you need! This is especially true when it comes to faces. Try not to overthink what you're doing too much.

Very often, if you want to move, say, an arm from position A to position B, you should start by adjusting the clavicle and work your way down. At first this was kinda slow and annoying and required a bunch of passes, but it resulted in way more natural looking results without asking people to politely ignore wonky elbows and such. Like everything else in the world, this gets a lot faster with practice and is 1000% worth getting halfway decent at.

Hands are the devil, but they also really make or break a pose for me a lot of the time. The more natural you can make hands and fingers look when touching something, the better, I feel. On the whole, I find FFXIV hands are a lot better at gentle-looking touches than rough-looking ones, but that may be my own limitations talking here. Spend time just messing with hands to get familiar with them, just like the rest of the skeleton. Eventually it'll start to get easier and easier to move stuff to where you want it without having to do a million little adjustments on the way to where you're aiming (I'm down to about half a million these days).

Eye contact is fucking hard too. I try to get the models to do as much of the work for me as possible as I go into gpose. For example, I'll make sure Dusk has Farron targeted, so he'll already looking down at him, but most of the time I'm going to be moving their heads or bodies too much for that eye contact to still look right. The way I usually do it is put the camera behind the person being looked at, and then make that person disappear and adjust the looker's eyes from there. Then I check from the angle I actually want to shoot from and make tiny adjustments to make it look more 'correct' to my eyes. Sometimes when I post Camera A/Camera B angles? It's because the eye contact only looked right from those angles no matter what I did and I'm making you all just have to deal with it.

Double check everything! It's easy to rough something in and then go blind to it being not-quite-right.

It takes me about 5 minutes to stop noticing nakedness because I am too busy swearing about elezen necks or something.

Once you start letting your dolls wear clothes and armor again, you have to start thinking about clipping and physics and such, which will also take practice, but I feel like people on the whole are a lot more subconsciously forgiving about that, because we all play this game and we all got trained to ignore a certain amount of clothes being weird because of it (this goes for most clipping, really). Which is good! I try to minimize clipping without actually having to touch any of the clothing bones if at all possible and only really mess with those if I absolutely have to because, say, the entire tail of Dusk's coat is clipping through the chair he's sitting on.

I suppose that's another thing, sometimes ... sometimes a glam is just a nightmare to work around and you just wear something else.

I hope this was ... helpful at all, I know it's long but hopefully not full of shit you knew already, or overwhelming to read. But I wanted to say more than just 'practice,' since that's hard to do if you don't even know what you should be practicing! And again, if you have a more specific question (or follow up questions?), definitely send a DM or something!

[mbakuetshurisprincess]

Back to Black Part 2

AN: Hey y'all! The love on Back to Black was actually mind-blowing, like I had no idea y'all would like it THAT much lol. I’m glad though it was definitely really fun to write something different for Shuri and make her (I don’t wanna say the villain that seems so harsh lol) not the good guy in a fic. This is turning out to be more of a slow burn but I PROMISE all will end well… eventually. Also about the music, I’m a HUGE Amy Winehouse fan, like love that white woman DOWN! So I’m gonna pick a different song from her discography for every chapter of this fic, something that relates to the theme of this chapter. That taglist was hell to do and I don’t even think it worked fr fr, how do the pros do their tag list??

Summary: After vowing to never step foot in Wakanda again, unforeseen circumstances bring you back and face to face with everything (and everyone) you left. 

Pairing: Shuri x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, alcoholism. 

Word count: 3,085

Suggested listening: Love Is a Losing Game by Amy Winehouse

“Love is a losing game

One I wished I never played

Oh, what a mess we made

And now, the final frame

Love is a losing game”

“Sit.” You instructed Shuri, positioning her body over the closed toilet seat. She sat down with a sigh, leaning her head back against the wall behind the toilet and closing her eyes. You took the moment of her eyes not being on yours to look at her in the light. 

She had lost a lot of her color, and while her skin was still a deep chocolate color, it lacked the depth that Wakandan sunlight brought her. Her jawline had gotten sharper, a telltale sign that she wasn’t eating as much as she needed to anymore. And although her eyes were closed, her brow remained furrowed. As if even in her thoughts she came face to face with the problems she was trying to avoid. 

Shuri opened her eyes and caught a glimpse of you looking down at her. She recognized the look that you were giving her, it was the same way you looked at her the first time she had come out of her lab after her six-month self-containment. At that time Shuri swore she would never do anything to make you feel like that again, clearly by the look you were giving her, she had failed. 

“Unbutton your shirt and get undressed, I’m going to run you a bath okay?” Shuri nodded in response and you turned on your heels, breaking your gaze from her. You approached the tub and reached to grab the tablet that controlled it. 

“I- I haven't let anyone change anything Y/N, all of your settings are still there,” Shuri spoke hesitantly. She was referring to the presets you had on set up for the tub. Shuri realized when you were dating just how much you loved baths, so as a surprise she tricked the whole tub out for you. Allowing you to make custom presets that each had varying temperatures, scents, and even playlists. You smiled lightly to yourself at the memories as your fingers clicked the relaxation button. Instantly hot water began flowing out of the tub spout and the drain locked. Your playlist entitled “Best of Amy Winehouse” started playing and the smile never left your face. The smell of lavender filled the air and even though this was supposed to be for Shuri you immediately felt calmer. 

Remembering Shuri’s word about not changing anything you opened the drawers next to the tub grabbing a bottle of lavender bubble bath. You poured a capful in and instantly bubbles filled the tub, another one of Shuri’s more mundane inventions: crazy strong bubble bath. 

You turned back to face Shuri and found her in no better state than you left her in. Her hands were fiddling with her buttons, the tired expression still on her face. She hadn’t made it past the first button. 

“Let me help you Shuri.” You said softly walking over to her. You crouched between her legs and allowed your fingers to find the buttons she struggled on. Shuri didn't move her hands and after a second she started swatting yours away. 

“I can do it myself Y/N.” She said looking down at you through her heavy lids.

You took a deep breath in and exhaled softly. “You never could let anyone else help you could you?” She was now stuck on the second button, her slender fingers unable to push it through the hole. 

“I-” Shuri went to speak before deciding not to, you were right and even in her drunk, hungover state she knew it. She dropped her hands to her sides and broke her eye contact with you. Your hands resumed their place and quickly undid the button. 

“I’m not going to fight you Shuri.” You said moving on to the next button. “I’m not gonna sit here and fight you with every step of this. I’m here to help and if you don’t want it I have no problem leaving.” You looked up at her and she sent you a nod of understanding.

You finished the rest of the buttons and pulled the shirt off of her shoulders leaving her in only the wife beater she wore as an undershirt and her shorts. You stood from between her legs and held your hands out for her to take, she obliged. She delicately placed her hands in yours and stood up, standing a good amount taller than you. You unbuttoned her shorts and slid them down her legs as she stepped out of them. Both of you were aware of how little physical space now existed between the two of you. 

Seeing her now in this more vulnerable state you were aware of just how sick she looked. While Shuri had always been slender you could now see her ribcage peeking through her skin and her once-toned body had lost much of the muscle she developed through hard training with Okoye. Shuri felt the concern in the way you were observing her and it instantly made her cross her arms to her chest, not wanting you to see any of her new scars. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare.” You said, removing your eyes from her body and putting them on the floor. “You can um finish undressing, I’ll go get you a towel.” You started walking backward away from her, creating distance between the two of you. 

“You don’t have to leave sthandwa.” Shuri’s hands found the bottom of her shirt, pulling it up revealing some of her torso. Her hands caught your eyes, following her hands, and would they have continued as she pulled her shirt up further but the sound of the water stopping pulled you back into reality. At the sound, you spun your back to face her and walked quickly out of the room, face flushed. You needed to get your head back on straight. A few pet names and a flash of her body weren’t enough to make you forget what had happened. 

You heard the sound of her body entering the water and a groan accompanying it letting you know that Shuri was in the tub. You dug through the dresser drawers and pulled out an array of butters and lotions for Shuri after the shower, along with a variety of hair products. You retrieved a large fluffy towel with a matching washcloth, a hair wrap, a new set of pajamas, and some of the hair products. You set the pajamas down on the bed before making your way back into the bathroom. Shuri’s body sat emerged in the tub with only her collar bones peeking out above the bubbles. You hung the towel and hair wrap up on a nearby towel warmer and returned to Shuri. 

Her eyes were closed and her head was tilted back, resting on the edge of the tub. You grabbed some of the body wash and squirted it onto the washcloth, dipping it into the water and rubbing it together to get it soapy. You removed her arm that was closest to you from the water and started washing it. Your mind had memorized the various scars and bruises that littered her body and as you moved further up her neck to her collarbone the memories of how she got each one faded back to you. 

It wasn’t until you got to the part of her chest that peaked out of the water that you noticed a new scar. It was no more than three inches long and by the looks of it couldn’t have been there longer than a few months. You ran your finger over it and felt the ridges signifying that it hadn’t healed correctly. 

Shuri could read your mind by the expression on your face and the way your hand gently touched her chest. “It doesn't hurt Y/N.” 

You looked over at her, you hadn’t even noticed Shuri open her eyes. Assuming the hot water and lavender had put her to sleep. You wanted to speak, to tell her that you would make sure that it healed correctly, but the words wouldn’t come to your mouth. It was almost as if your body was reminding you that healing Shuri in that way wasn’t your place anymore. So you simply nodded and continued cleaning her body. 

After you felt her body had been cleaned, you grabbed the showerhead off the wall and positioned it over Shuri’s hair before turning it on. Once again Shuri let out a soft groan as the warm water touched her scalp. You used your free hand to start finger detangling some of her curls, upon realizing this was going to be a job that needed both your hands you grabbed a bottle of leave-in detangler and poured it generously over Shuri's head. You set it down on the side of the tub and massaged the substance into her scalp and curls with delicate hands. 

“I miss you Y/N,” Shuri said, opening her eyes and tilting her head to look up at you. 

You took a deep breath before speaking “Shuri, you moved your head, I was working on the back, and now I can’t reach it.”

Shuri tilted her head back down and you continued your work in silence for a minute before she spoke again. 

“That is all you have to say?” This time she didn’t move her head so she didn’t catch you rolling your eyes. You dipped your hands into the water washing the excess product off. You stood finally from the spot you had been in for the past hour and looked down at Shuri. Normally she could tell your mood by the way your eyes looked, but for some reason now she couldn’t place your emotions. 

“What I have to say is,” You walked over to the towel warmer, grabbed Shuri’s towel and hair wrap, and set it on the sink next to her. “This is your towel and hair wrap. I left lotion, butters, and pj’s on the bed. Dry off, lotion up, get dressed, and call for me when you're done, I’ll be outside the door waiting to do your hair.” The first part of the sentence was almost cold enough to make Shuri think you might not have any feelings left for her, but the second half. She heard the softness come out in your voice when you mentioned doing her hair. She hadn’t lost you yet. 

She thought about giving a witty remark but didn’t want to push her luck with you on your first day back so Shuri responded with a simple “Okay.”

You exited the bathroom and then your room closing the door behind you. You leaned against the door and took a deep breath, “Focus.” You reminded yourself. You figured it would take Shuri at least twenty minutes to get herself situated given her state, you chose the time to enter her room again, opening her blinds immediately. You called to Isoke who stood guard outside of the door and she came in. 

“Yes ma’am?” She spoke softly, her eyes looking straight down. You hadn’t seen her much during your time in Wakanda and if you remembered correctly she had just graduated when you left. 

“Can you please have the cleaners sent in? I want this place looking more like a home when we bring Shuri back here.” Isoke nodded and turned on her heels. 

“Oh and one more thing.” You spoke, causing her to pause in her tracks. “Every bottle of alcohol, every ounce of weed, all her paraphernalia, everything. I want it boxed up and burned. Do you understand me?” She nodded again and quickly scurried out of the room. 

You couldn’t place it but something about her leaving you feeling unwell. You walked around Shuri’s room to see if you could find anything else to help you understand Shuri’s mental state. In her bed, you found an object that nearly brought tears to your eyes. It was the Build-a-bear you two had made on one of your trips to America. By the way its fur had started to matt you could tell she had been sleeping with it. You couldn’t tell how much time had passed but the soft call of your name brought you out of Shuri’s room and back to your own. Where Shuri now sat in the all-black pajama set that you had picked out for her, waiting for you. 

You looked once more at the hair products you had pulled out, ensuring that you had everything you needed. Once you were sure you sat down on the edge of the bed. You and Shuri had done this before but unlike normal this time, she waited for your signal. You gesture in between your legs and Shuri quickly scurried into her place, being this close to you was all she desired. 

Before the cheating and couples therapy and more cheating, when you were still able to pull Shuri from her lab with just a sweet smile. You would devote Sunday evenings to doing her hair, an intimate act she had only let her mother do before you. She would sit in between your legs and speak of anything that frustrated her or what inventions were not working. You would listen as you detangled and twisted her hair, preparing it for the long week ahead. Eventually similar to a child when she had finally tired herself out of complaining she would lean her head against your leg and pepper kisses to the inside of your thigh before she fell asleep. The feeling of Shuri letting you take care of her was something you cherished, especially as your relationship furthered and the time you spent together became less and less. Every once and a while when she was particularly stressed she would come to you and ask you to do her hair. And you always obliged. 

You silently began your work on her hair as she sat, first separating her hair into four sections and then working with her hair a fourth at a time. You ran a wide tooth comb through her hair, starting at the ends and making your way up, in order not to snag any knots. After detangling, you split the section into fourths and twisted each fourth. You had made your way through the second section and were onto the third when Shuri rose her voice and spoke up. 

“Why did you come back Y/N?” You stopped humming, considering if you even wanted to give her an answer. 

“Nakia and Okoye came to get me.” You continued combing through the third section. 

“And you just agreed? All the messages I sent you begging for you to come back to us didn’t mean as much as their words?” You had not forgotten what drunk Shuri was like and this was a symptom of that. There was a hint of anger in her words that didn’t go unnoticed by you. 

You let out a sigh, clearly a common theme for the night, and spoke. “No, I didn't want to come back Shuri, when I said I never wanted to return, I meant it.” 

“So why did you?” Shuri snaked her left arm under your left leg, wrapping it around so her hand could rest on the top of your thigh. Her words seemed accusatory but the way her hand was sitting on your thigh, that was nothing short of romantic. 

You started twisting her hair before you spoke. “They told me you started drinking again.” 

“I-” Shuri tried to speak but you cut her off. 

“Although truthfully that wasn’t what did it.” You moved on to the next twist. “Nakia begged. She said you refuse T’Challa and begged that I get you out of bed and back into his life. 

Shuri had nothing to say to this, shame ran hot through her face. She moved her hand from your thigh and sunk more into the floor. As you finished the last twist you started to feel bad about your response but she was the one who asked. 

“Shuri.” You spoke her name lightly, leaving the conversation like that felt wrong. 

“Hmm?” You took down the last section of her hair and started combing, repeating the process for the final time.

“Of course I missed you. I spent six whole months in the states missing you. So consumed with my want to be with you I couldn’t do anything but cry and sleep.” You separated the last section and started twisting. “But after six months, Shuri, I had to ask myself what was I missing. Was I missing the dates you stood me up on? The nights I went to bed alone while you were in the lab tinkering away with your latest technological development? That couldn’t be what had me throwing my life away. So I stopped missing you.” By the time you finished speaking you had finished the last twist, letting it plop down on her face. 

Shuri nodded her head, there was nothing she could say. You were right, Shuri hadn’t treated you the way she should during the final year of your relationship. 

You grabbed the silk scarf from next to you and wrapped it around Shuri’s head. The words you wanted to say to her blossomed in your mind. “But I do miss you, I miss when it was simple and just us.” Even so, you kept them to yourself. 

You tapped Shuri’s shoulder and she stood from between your legs, giving you the space to stand up and stretch. You looked at the clock on the table and the time read 11 PM. Shuri followed your eyes and sighed knowing her time with you for the day was nearing a close. You smiled at her sigh and you turned to start removing objects from the bed to give Shuri a clear place to sleep. She walked over to the bed and pulled back the covers, looking back at you as you nodded signifying that you were serious about her sleeping. Shuri slipped under the covers and watched as you walked over to her. 

You sat on the edge of her bed and placed your inside hand on Shuri’s cheek, she melted into your touch and placed her hand on top of yours. You leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead. 

“Goodnight Shuri.” You removed your hand from her face and stood from the bed. Shuri caught your hand before you could leave. 

“Stay? Stay with me tonight?” Your breath caught as you thought about her words. 

“Okay.”

TAGLIST: 

@vevethirst @angelsmist @coalmistyy @eriksjournal @avsphroeg @nil-eena @zane2408 @homie0sapien @noneofyabuisnezs @ilacknames @rotten-toenails @starrknessblog @adaya08 @bigbigbigfan @cour1ne7 @gaspyghosttt @gardenofshuri @chrome-edition @londyn-loves-u @shuri-my-love @trixielwt @arielna2805 @syupakingcowbaby @luxuriouslokistan-3 @shuriswift @raydestin @liv444me @aphroditeisamilf @blkmystery @bestfriend491 

[yxndereblogs]

Congratulations on the 100 followers sweetie!! 🎉💕 Can I request the whole alphabet with Dean Winchester?

of course! and thank you so much!! 🥰

Yandere!Dean Winchester Alphabet 🖤

Attachment: How do they become obsessed?

It didn’t take long for him to become obsessed. He became obsessed with you because of how much love you gave him when you both would hang out. It was like meant to be for him.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get for their darling?

Pretty messy. Dean would be high up on the scale in all honesty.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling when they kidnap them? Would they mock them?

He doesn't want you to be scared, so he tries to make it comfortable as possible for you (if it will even work). He would also never mock you. He would hate to see you so upset.

Delusion: How delusional are they when it comes to their darling? Do they believe their darling loves them?

Dean has his moments of delusions. For the most part though, he knows you’re utterly terrified of the situation and that it will take a lot of you to love him again/things to go back to (semi) normal again. So, he would be pretty medium on the scale.

Erratic: How unpredictable are they? How quick are mood changes?

It depends on the day for him, so with that said, he can be rather unpredictable. Some days, you would think you’re walking on egg shells around him when he was angry or even upset. You just never know with him. Mood changes don’t happen quickly, but at the same time, they aren’t infrequent.

Fight: How would they react if their darling fought back?

At first, he would think you’re just messing with him or joking around with him. When Dean realizes you’re being serious, he restrains you gently and tries his best to reassure you and telling you to calm down. Even though it may not work a lot of the time.

Guilt: What would it take for them to feel guilty about their actions? Or do they feel guilty from the start?

Dean would feel guilty from the start/when he first sees you upset and/or angry at him. The last thing he would want to make you feel is sadness and anger, so seeing you in the state makes him feel so guilty.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worse experience with them?

Whenever you get caught in his fits of rage. He tries to contain them around you, but there are times where he just can’t and he just starts yelling and throwing things, some things even hitting you. Afterwards, he would be so upset (at himself) and try to comfort you, but you would just be too terrified to even let him near you.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Living away from the hunting business, maybe somewhere where you both can have a nice-sized family with some pets running around, with his brother living nearby of course.

Jealous: What makes them the most jealous?

I know it may be basic, but whenever other people flirt with you. It just makes Dean’s blood boil, and that is why he hardly lets you leave, even with him.

Kidnap: How would they go about kidnapping their darling? How much do they plan out?

Dean has everything planned out, from the day he’s going to do it to making sure your soon-to-be room is all nice just for you. So, he tries to make it as stealthy as possible with little to no struggle from you.

Love Letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He definitely flirts with you. A lot. He tries to play it off as making it playful flirting and as if he doesn’t truly mean it, but he wants you to somehow know his flirting is genuine.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they acted before?

Not really. Dean acts pretty much the same, except for maybe he isn’t as stone cold around you as he is around a lot of other people.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Isolation. I know that’s a very common answer among many of yanderes, but with Dean, that is the worse he is willing to do when it comes to punishing you.

Outrage: What makes them furious?

Besides the supernatural and all of that, he gets mad whenever you just ignore him, whether when it comes to affection and/or he is talking to you.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Again, it mostly depends on the day for him. Some days, he is very patient and is willing to wait for you/with you. Other days, his patience is on a thin line and that line can break with anything “bad” you may do that day.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

No. That’s it. No.

Rage: How do they act when angry? How do they calm down?

As mentioned before, it mostly is on the inside, but he also yells (a lot) and will throw things, him trying not to throw it at you if you so happen to be around. He calms down either by a drink or hearing your voice whenever you try to calm him down, aka you feel like you have to calm him down.

Self-Indulgent: How possessive are they? (If at all?)

Yes. Is that an answer?

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry and/or isolate themselves?

Dean would be heartbroken and blame himself for your state. He would absolutely be devastated seeing you so upset and would try his best to calm you down or at least get you to sleep so you can calm down.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Besides hunting supernatural beings and getting help from them when you die, escape, are upset, yada yada yada, he's a pretty normal yandere.

Vicious: How vicious can they get?

Around you, not at all. Around other people/people that may hurt you or he believes they can hurt you, very.

Weakness: What weaknesses can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Dean have been touchstarved for god knows how long, so showing him affection in any way is an easy way to let his guard down.

Xenodochia: How quickly would their darling cut them off after they escape?

It wouldn’t be easy, but at the same time, it wouldn’t be the most difficult thing in the world for you. So, it would take only a bit of time for you.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

About half a year, maybe less than that if he’s extra impatient to have you.

Zero Tolerance: What is the thing that always makes them snap? What things will they not allow their darling to do under any circumstances?

Dean does not want you to be involved in the supernatural business under any means. Doesn’t matter if you were before he kidnapped you, you are not going to be involved in it anymore.

[kimbap-r0ll]

Hey hey this is my first time requesting and I don't know if you do requesting like this but can I request a mitsuri like reader (unnatural have color, affectionate, positive, eats alot etc) with the dormleader minus Kamil ty!! <3

Hello! Ah this is a really cute idea, thank you!

Dorm Leaders (-Kalim ;-;) with a Mitsuri!reader

Riddle

Your bubbly personality is really cute to him, but he won't say that to you because it makes him embarrassed

He doesn't mind the nicknames you give to others, but if you decide to nickname him anything ("tomato-kun" haha) expect him to turn red and stutter for you to stop

Your caring attitude does hit a soft spot for him since he's never grown up with a lot of affection. If you guys date each other, this will be the first reason he fell for you

He hopes you enjoy the food at the unbirthday parties, and he'll invite you often to them so he can meet you more.

Don't worry too much about the hair. He might get surprised by the colors but it's nothing new to someone like him who's grown up with people with different kinds of hair colors. He might find it suiting to you since it matches your bright personality

Leona

He might get annoyed by you super easily since he's always trying to sleep but you end up stopping him

He'll grow fond of you though, since your so kind to everyone and it's honestly a bit adorable to see you nickname everyone

The two of you probably share a voracious appetite, I won't be surprised if he stole some of your food during lunch and you did the same to him. Ruggie will see this and probably laugh it off, thinking you guys are a couple or something haha

Overall, he'll act like you're a nuisance, and at first he might think that way. But as you two grow closer, he'll start to grow warm to you, and he might feel like he has to protect you sometimes

Azul

If you're ever affectionate to this man, even just a little bit, I can imagine how much his confidence would boost.

You'll never see him tear up in happiness with how much you care about him, but he definitely grows fond of you

Visit Mostro Lounge often! He's more than willing to see you there often, he might even give you discounts since you guys are close!

He might think at first you're super gullible, but he finds out that you're someone that simply wants the best for everyone. He admires your benevolence, and simply thinks that you're too kind to ever make a contract with

Vil

Your hairstyle might've been the first thing Vil pointed out about you. It's just what's in style right now! With the fading colors and everything!

Other than your appearance however, Vil might think you need to stand up for yourself more, even if you already do. He wants you to drop your childlike personality in the beginning, until he gets attached to it

He finds your nicknames familiar, since Rook is also someone that does it. He won't stop you, and he might find it endearing!

What he admires the most however is how caring you are. It makes him think of the characters his rival, Neige, plays in all of the films Vil has been part of. Vil has always wanted to play that part, and seeing you act like the characters he admires makes him gain a soft spot for you

Idia

Probably mentioned you reminded him of someone in an anime he watched ("the one where a boy's sister gets turned into a demon by like, some fedora guy, and they have super good animation, you know?")

He'll be intimidated by you at first because of how approachable you are and how bubbly your personality is. But later on, he'll grow attached

He's never been the best with affection, but it makes him feel warm inside. Please give him care, he really needs it ;-;

Ortho loves you by the way, and sees you as an older sibling. Idia won't mind either, and he loves spending time with you because of how much your smile makes him happy

Malleus

Humans have always had different styles of fashion, and your hair definitely proves it.

He's surprised by how caring you are to everyone, since it's something not as common in a dark/scary place like the Valley of Thorns. But more importantly, he can get worried you might get tricked and harmed because of your caring self

He loves hearing the kinds of nicknames you give to people, it's just small things in life that make him happy. His time alive is long while for humans like you it is short in comparison, so he admires every detail of you

He wonders if anyone has ever given him the kind of affection that you give, and he concludes that perhaps Lilia was the closest. Please give him love too, he's always been a lonely boy and needs warmth ;-;

[onomatopagu-et-cie]

The Killing Vote (ep. 1-5 notes)

I’ve been enjoying this drama and I wanted to post some thoughts about it! This last week’s episode kept me on my toes! It’s a crime they only air a single episode per week, truly a crime aaaa

I don’t really know if people watching this drama are on tumblr but I’ll post here anyway!

Have a nice week!!!

(SPOILERS UP TO EPISODE 5!!!!)

I love Joohyun’s relationship with Kwon Seokju so far, the scene where she played for him Mozart’s Requiem (if I’m not mistaken) while we see her hanging Narae’s stuffed bunny was soothing! Seeing a different approach than Kim Muchan is nice!

KMC’s relationship with KSJ is really intriguing: we only get KMC’s (quite unreliable, that’s what makes it even more interesting!) pov in the first episodes with almost no dialogue between the two of them, and the recent episodes give us another side to their story through KSJ! I really wonder how their relationship got soured (especially from KMC) to the point KMC advises Joohyun not to get too close and get manipulated by KSJ: besides his own guilt for not being able to save Narae in time nor catch her murderer and the fact that the one he looked up to killed Byun Wootaek, something else must’ve happened for it to get THIS sour. What is going onnnnnnn? Or is it all an act? (and KMC/Park Haejin has some sad puppy eyes on par with Im Siwan's and Jung Haein's I can't haha) He affirms KSJ is arrogant and wouldn’t hesitate to take the law in his own hands if it can’t solve the problem while he himself pushes investigations with ways off the record to arrest culprits. He shows a bitter attitude in front of KSJ and Joohyun most of the time when he talks about him, but at the same time he also confided his guilt to Joohyun in private and seemed to regularly ask how KSJ was doing in prison during the past 8 years. I also get the feeling he was asking the warden if KSJ was regularly getting health checks by a doctor out of worry besides the investigation.

(This is some crack theory, but what if the one who murdered BWT was KMC and not KSJ? At this point, the narration is really unreliable so I wouldn't even be surprised!)

On that subject, I wonder if the drama will address KSJ’s health issue with his collapsed lung/asthma again ; his medical visit also seemed shot in order not to show the doctor’s silhouette at all, I wonder if this will hold any significance later on (it could be Jihoon’s grandmother, who knows!)? Not to mention Uhm Eungyeong, the culprit on ep2, was poisoned by Gaetal knowing she had asthma????

When the judge ruled Byun Wootaek’s acquittal (ep4), his gavel (a symbol of the justice) was shot struck right in front of KSJ’s silhouette, above his head, as if justice itself crushed KSJ. A similar symbolism is used in ep5’s Killing Vote:

The flashbacks are beautifully shot, ep4 was really moving. This scene’s lighting furthered the tragedy: it’s as though the orange light and the blood on Narae burn into KSJ and KMC’s profile as they find her, contrasting with Narae and the background’s cold tones:

Also when KSJ recalls how he murdered BWT, the same orange hue colors the shots.

In ep5, we finally hear the voice of a man who is thought to be Gaetal, when he’s talking to KMC over the phone. The opening shows the cast’s profiles, but there’s this one character we haven’t seen yet:

The man in question could totally be this character that wasn’t introduced yet! He’s probably the ‘executor’ of the Killing Vote, who was chatting with the teacher Lee Minsu.

I think Gaetal is definitely not the work of only one person: there’s at least the executor, tech-savvy people organizing the vote (the stream, the text messages, the hacking, …), the one on the stream (or maybe there’s more than one on the stream, a different one per case because the tone and attitude are never the same: agressive, vengeful, or bubbly, or caustic…) and perhaps someone in the police.

The teacher could be Fan no. 1 and/or Gaetal (if it’s not the same person/group): In ep4, we learn KSJ’s « Fan no. 1 » (1호팬, [ilho fan]) regularly sent him letters which would describe in details how the culprits subject to the Killing Vote would be ‘judged’. In ep3, the teacher talks to this ‘executor’ under the pseudo ‘justice15’: if 15 is read with the sino-korean numbers for 1 (일 [il]) and 5 (오 [oh]), the pronunciation would be close to ‘no. 1’, so this could not be a simple coincidence. Also ‘justice’ could be a taunt directed towards KMC’s vision of justice (he uses 정의 to describe his ideal of justice to KSJ) since he seems to deeply resent KMC.

Gaetal uses KSJ and KMC’s words (‘devils deemed innocent’, ‘rational justice’) and interestingly, another character who talks about rationality is the assemblywoman (‘rationality, moral sense and mothers are stronger than the law’)!

Also, this dude is on some twisted christian trip: in ep4, we get a glimpse of the teacher’s tattoo, a cross on his chest that reads… ‘My daddy My hero’… which was what Narae used to say to her father (her hero, making her safe because he’s always there to protect her) and a part of her room’s decoration…

Well, if he killed Narae and his mother made Byun Wootaek the scapegoat for every crimes he committed this far, something must have gone wrong this time for him (and his mother) to deeply resent KMC to the point of wanting to kill him: they managed to pull the strings of the police and judicial system, but KMC must have discovered Lee Minsu was the real culprit (perhaps after KSJ killed BWT) and tried to kill him, which might’ve worsened his heart condition somehow.

(And it’s interesting how the second screenshot shows the teacher discarding his now bloodied watch in disgust after hearing KMC saying ‘I was willing to break rules to catch this heinous criminal as soon as possible’ mmmmh…)

Just as Captain Oh completely denied his liability in ep5, he must have felt wronged, Narae’s case being the only one that 'sullied' him (and this must be why he changed names, from Lee Yunseong to Lee Minsu). Associating the accusations he must’ve faced because of Narae’s case and KMC to the Passion of the Christ in a sick, twisted way, he must’ve thought this tattoo as his own crucifixion leading to his rebirth/his revenge through the Killing Vote?

If the teacher is the mastermind behind the Killing Vote, choosing culprits involved in CSE, SA and CA so far for the votes could be: 1 — to mask his true identity, seemingly siding with true justice while he’s one of those he judges. Also, choosing keywords associated to BOTH KSJ and KMC could be to mislead the police to believe Gaetal is close to KSJ and both KSJ and KMC to suspect one another 2 — a sick way to play with KMC’s concept of justice and using KSJ's trauma (and KMC) ; 3 — to hide the final objective of the Killing Vote: since he gives the public a pretty convincing and sophisticated fact-check all the circumstances surrounding the culprits’ crimes (Gaetal even said in one of their streams that a culprit wouldn’t be subject to the vote if their crimes weren’t true), this could lead the public to believe every case would be exposed truthfully. Which means one of these cases could be fabricated and nobody would realize it at first. If the teacher organized the Killing Vote to get back at KMC (this also seems to benefit his mother’s campaign), perhaps the last vote would accuse KMC or KSJ of Narae’s murder (since no culprit was found guilty) or another crime.

At his final trial, KSJ accused ’the police who released BWT because they cared more about their performance’. We now know the police commissionner, KMC’s superior and the assemblywoman were all linked somehow to what happened 8 years ago. We also got a flashback of Choi Jinsu, KMC’s colleague who was also the detective in charge in both Narae and KSJ’s case, who gave KMC the hint of Byun Wootaek being the culprit. KMC, unlike him, ‘isn’t interested in politics’… He also recognized the teacher as Lee Yunseong, potentially his name before murdering Narae. In ep5, Joohyun automatically ruled CJS out of the suspect list because he’s not close to KSJ… If the premise that Gaetal must be close to KSJ is wrong, then his involvement could be possible: perhaps he was ordered to tamper with the procedure and the pieces of evidence during the two cases? Also, I wonder if KMC’s reputation will get addressed, his superiors must’ve pressured him to follow unofficial orders or he got to discover these orders (eg. maybe in Narae’s case?) and ever since he’s the man to ask for to do the dirty work? Or KMC could have deliberately gained his ‘Wipeout’ reputation to get closer to the truth of what happened 8 years ago?

In the first episode, the video test Joohyun found on Joomin’s laptop is named ‘Lrae091515’: if the drama takes place in 2023, the tragic events surrounding KSJ, KMC and Joohyun ‘8 years ago’ would have taken place in 2015! Could this refer to the final day of KSJ’s trial (or the day Narae was killed)? The pseudo ‘justice15’ could also be a reference to that date.

As for the ‘Lrae’… It could be a wild WILD guess but ‘Lrae’ could be ‘irae’ as in Dies Irae/day of wrath (capital i looks like a lowercase L), which is a sequence in Requiem mass!

The video test was only found on Joomin’s laptop when all the Internet cafe computers got the virus: the one who hacked the computers likely targeted Joomin or her sister, a police officer deliberately.

The tag in Narae’s room (‘the 13th was wrong’):

(It’s also a bit disturbing the tag was sprayed right on top of the ‘My daddy My hero’…)

— the narrative makes us think the tag refers to the 13th failed stab but it could be something else entirely (and perhaps KSJ is keeping this hint to himself?) — if the christian subtext truly exists in this drama (especially with the teacher’s tattoo), 13 is a number often linked in superstitions to the Cena, Judas (who betrayed Jesus, thought to have been the 13th guest to sit down to the Last Supper) and bad luck: whoever tagged this maybe wanted to signal KSJ the man he killed wasn’t the true culprit.

There is also a similar version in the norse mythology I found here:

« In his book “Extraordinary Origins of Everyday Things,” Charles Panati traces the concept of the cursed back to Norse mythology, when Loki, the god of mischief, gate-crashed a banquet in Valhalla, bringing the number of gods in attendance to 13. Deceived by Loki, the blind god Hodr was tricked into shooting his brother Balder, the god of light, joy and goodness, with a mistletoe-tipped arrow, killing him instantly. » And… we see the teacher communicating through the ‘Loki’ network (a wordplay for what would be Tor I guess, just as Apple would become a pear on laptops in media haha)!

(This is quite a reach, but for posterity in the opening, the 13th character shown is KMC, and in reverse order Jihoon haha)

The tag neither the news articles on Narae and KSJ’s cases weren’t in Gaetal’s video test:

idk how to explain, but I get the feeling that person A (who leaked the video), B (the Gaetal we see on the video), C (the Gaetal who’s now organizing the Killing Vote) & D (who tagged the wall and pinned the news articles about KSJ and Narae) could be different characters with respective objectives too. The drama highlights a bit too much the premise that Gaetal is one single individual that’s close to KSJ haha At the very least, whoever leaked the video knew someone else, especially KMC, would eventually be able to recognize its contents (‘devils deemed innocent’, Narae’s room and her stuffed bunny). Also for posterity, KMC was the one who ostensibly redirected KSJ’s attention to the picture of the tag on the wall.

The assemblywoman and the teacher both have a habit to touch their ear sometimes (eg. when she talked to him about KMC ; when the teacher was watching the student during PE). Jihoon also did it right after the teacher left: was it to try to reproduce what he did to understand what he was watching or is he linked to them?

At the very least Jihoon seems to know some things about the Killing Vote, the teacher as well as KMC:

— In ep1, he bumped into Joohyun as he went to retrieve one of the cups the teacher seems to make a collection of.

On the cup, there’s an ’S’ graved on it, just as the telltale sign of the Killing Vote is the character ㅅ/siot (시옷), the first character of 사형 (death penalty/capital punishment).

— He seems to know more than he lets on about the Killing Vote and keeps staring at the teacher (as though he knows his past crimes, eg. the closeups on the teacher grabbing/borderline groping Joomin’s shoulder, watching the students during PE etc.).

— He seemed startled when Joomin talked about ‘zombie PCs’.

— In ep3, Jihoon says: « I think [he] took it too far this time. » right after he saw KMC being alive and the man with the cap escape (which could totally be this character in the opening we’ve not yet seen). In Korean, the subject is often omitted and deduced from the context, it’s the case here: the drama keeps the ambiguity on whatever Jihoon meant here.

— Him being Narae’s friend would also make sense: as Narae was 8yo, she would be around Joomin and Jihoon’s age if she was still alive. There’s also Narae’s drawings that keep being showed, a boy/young man is always drawn on it.

As a child’s representation of adults and children could be inaccurate (the height, physical appearance, etc.), the characters we see on her drawings could be alternatively KMC (who was close to KSJ and given KSJ’s answer, also doted on her daughter), KSJ, a boy Narae used to play with (it could be Jihoon), the teacher or BWT, the son of the driver and the housekeeper who were also close to Narae and KSJ.

The assemblywoman asked her assistant to observe her son closely: I guess that refers to his health but it’s also to make sure he doesn’t commit crimes anymore. She also said to her son he definitely knows she’s ready to do anything to make Gaetal join her so that her campaign is successful: this + joking on TV how a mother is above the law suggest she definitely pulled strings to save their reputation (eg. using BWT as a convenient scapegoat ; tampering with the trials ; changing his son’s name etc.).

Joohyun thinks Gaetal acts like a hacker. That would also make Jodan (in ep5, he revealed he was arrested for hacking), Jihoon, the teacher and Joohyun herself suspects!

KSJ’s interest in Joohyun is curious: he even looked into her background once he met her & seems to focus on her habit to scratch her scar ; KMC’s comment on how unusual KSJ’s behavior was (specifically requesting Joohyun to communicate with ; negotiating his pardon — while he didn’t regret what he did at all) makes me think that: — in the letters or in some other way, Gaetal must’ve instructed him to obtain a pardon (perhaps they even told him to get rid of the letters to make him indispensable to the police) — Gaetal must’ve told him he would seek the truth to what happened to Narae: for someone who didn’t regret avenging her daughter, revealing Byun Wootaek was a scapegoat and the true culprit is roaming free out there would be plenty enough drive for him to find a way to get out of prison — whoever they are, Gaetal must’ve an ulterior motive to involve Joohyun, KSJ and KMC together

The first episode showed similar shots of KSJ and KMC (same backlighting, same low-angle shot, KSJ avenging his daughter and KMC lashing out on Bae Gicheol to stop him from abusing his wife):

I wonder if we’ll get to see KMC’s relationship with the woman on his photo (likely his mother), this is probably the only shot we get of him smiling not out of spite ;;

For Mu in Muchan, one of the hanja that can be given as a name is 橅, which means law, and it’s ironic given how the law failed him and KSJ ; sometimes characters are given names that will hold meaning in their development eg. Donghoon & Jian in My Mister ; Dongsik and Juwon in Beyond Evil.

For Ju in Seokju, there is 澍, which means timely/long-awaited rain ; rain has marked 2 important events in KSJ’s life: when he discovered his daughter’s body and when he was arrested by KMC after murdering Byun Wootaek ; there’s also 炷 which means wick, aligning with the OST lyrics (a fire burning in one’s eyes)

[im-657-mv]

yandere alphabet mike wheeler

[requested]

-[A]ffection-

How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

it can be hard for him to express his emotions sometimes

but trust me, he would do anything for you

he can be distant at times but he hates when you talk to other people

-[B]lood-

How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

honestly i can't see him doing anything remotely harmful to others

he plays more with emotions

so no i don;t think he would kill another human

-[C]ruelty-

How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

he wouldn't know what to do

plus you're probably a crying mess and he's just standing there

just watching you

he would try his best though to make you "comfortable" by his own definition

-[D]arling-

Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

yes but i dont think he could if he wanted

he is an awkward person and i think he would rather just watch

and lets be honest here this man is clueless

-[E]xposed-

How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

none

he just wants to hear about you

you and only you

-[F]ight-

How would they feel if their darling fought back?

pissed

not really like fuming angry just more of disappointed

why? why would you leave his safe presence?

-[G]ame-

Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

no

he just genuinely loves you

he wants your everything

and he wants you safe, from other people

and things

-[H]ell-

What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

him kidnapping you

he would be physically dominating and would probably accidentally hurt you in some way or another

and he would definitely knock you out with a frying pan or something

-[I]deals-

What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

you safe in his arms, away from all the chaos in both of your lives

somewhere warm and cozy

-[J]ealousy-

Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

oh definitely

this man sees you with another person and immediately his nostrils start flaring

and he would definitely pull you away from whatever conversation you were having just so he can be with you

-[K]isses-

How do they act around or with their darling?

surprisingly sweet

but quiet...

-[L]ove letters-

How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

stalking lol

very protective and jealous

and kinda forceful when you actually go into a "relationship"

loves holding your hand too

-[M]ask-

Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

no

he's cold, jealous, protective, and easily aggravated

-[N]aughty-

How would they punish their darling?

isolation

he would probably lock you in his basement until you behaved properly

-[O]ppression-

How many rights would they take away from their darling?

the right to have friends

why would you want to talk to anyone other than him?

-[P]atience-

How patient are they with their darling?

surprisingly patient

-[Q]uit-

If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

god no

he would hunt you down until you're by his side

-[R]egret-

Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

no

-[S]tigma-

What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

the feeling of needing someone there

and also because of everything

he has to protect you

even if you hate him for it

-[T]ears-

How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

as cold as he may seem

he hates seeing you in pain

-[U]nique-

Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

no, just a classic yandere

-[V]ice-

What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

you can definitely play up into being in love and gaining his trust

-[W]it’s end-

Would they ever hurt their darling?

no

he crosses many lines

but hurting you is not one of them

-[X]oanon-

How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

i dont think he would necessarily worship you

but he would try to pull you away from your friends

slowly but surely

-[Y]earn-

How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

years

he loves you but he would hate to go to extreme lengths

-[Z]enith-

Would they ever break their darling?

yes but not on purpose

[nalyra-dreaming]

Love your blog!! hopefully this makes sense⬇️

Do you also find it frustrating that people don’t understand or ignore the interconnectedness of the relationships in iwtv? I keep seeing people say they fear relationships are being shoehorned into season two specifically Lesmand and DM.

But it’s confusing to me that people only want a Loumand season because both characters in that relationship are heavily influenced by their relationships with Lestat. So to me, it’s kind of impossible to understand those characters in the Paris and Dubai timelines without seeing flashbacks and revisiting scenes. Armand’s past deserves to be shown, as it will influence his relationship with Daniel and Louis. Which means that we need flashbacks to DM and Lesmand (even Marius).

Season one is slightly different because Loustat is the relationship which introduces us to the characters. They got the main focus because you don’t want the first season to feel overwhelming showing loads of timelines and relationships to casual viewers. The end of season one introduces us to Loumand and season two will show their story which means Lestat being shown as he’s vital to their past.

Maybe it’s just the hardcore shippers worried about this stuff? I understand people wanting their favourite couples having screen time. I trust Rolin Jones he will do them all justice. I just want to see vampires being absolute freaks in every era no matter what the ship.

I don’t know if I articulated my point properly but I hope you get what I mean.

I think I do :) (And glad you like!)

The thing is... this show is not like the others. In a good way. It's color-conscious, it's not shying away from the difficult stuff, it puts its proverbial fingers into wounds, and it clearly, obviously does not simplify the relationships.

Said it yesterday, but who would've thought we would get this. Honestly.

So... I can understand why that is something that needs to get used to by "casual show only viewers". I get it.

And on top of the show and its approach you have a source material which does not shy away from anything either. Like, Anne Rice was ... something. Definitely not unproblematic, but also fucking fearless.

And the combination of this... dense and vivid source material in combination with this kind of approach?!

It's just something that's not really been on screen before, imho.

Show of the decade, and all that :)

This combination is also why the show may be so hard to grasp for many more casual viewers, or even book readers who have maybe "only" read the first few books. Because the show is not doing only the first few books. It's doing the big arcs. It's putting in hooks, "seeds" as Assad called them iirc, to be taken up later, to come fully into play only much later.

There is a plan behind it all.

And I think that's amazing.

So to come back to the "shipping" - I have ranted about this before^^, but all the "ships" are valid in the VC. That is another thing that sets it apart from other medias and shows I think.

And that is something fandom in general might not be quite "used to" either. Because a ship does not usually need to be canon or valid in the source material to be shipped.

But here?^^

There is no need to fight or defend, or establish or justify.

They just are.

Yes I do find it frustrating at times, especially with the time that has past between seasons... but I also understand it.

It's just not like (in) other shows and that will take getting used to.

I think the show will let them be the "freaks" in every era though, and I think that's very, very beautiful :)))

[tamelee]

hi tamelee!

I'm here to ask for a little bit of advice if that's okay (: about a month ago I bought a Wacom drawing pad so I could start experimenting with digital art. artists like you here on tumblr have really inspired me to start making art. but I feel kinda.. lost. I've been mostly drawing naruto manga caps and I'm getting better but I guess I don't know where to go from here. coloring and shading scares me lol. I'm using clip studio paint and it's just a little.. intimidating. I feel discouraged, like I won't be able to do it. how did you do it tamelee? did you watch a lot of tutorials, or did you experiment until you figured things out? any advice you'd have for a beginner artist I'd really appreciate.

thank you veryvery much for your time ^^

Hi Nonee! 🧡 Sure!

Oh I think that’s a very good place to start. As well as drawing subjects you like ^^! Hmm, tbh I’ve just experimented a lot, but I don’t think my way of having done things was the most efficient. You might want to follow tutorials step by step? You can try coloring only with flat colors until you feel a bit more confident with that as well as cell-shading (toon-shading/non-realistic, like in anime) instead of rendering further as that can all be confusing at first. I personally never truly understood shading until I studied cell-shading and made my art a lot more readable. A lot of Anime uses this; 

You see how there is a base color, a darker color for shadows and highlights? (Sometimes not even highlights.) 

When you start to study it from existing work you’ll start to notice things like color always being in the same area of saturation and when you suddenly have a color that is way more saturated than the other it can look off. (See example.) But this is a guideline, not a rule. In your own art you can especially use saturation and brightness to help aid you to direct a viewer's focus and even tell a story.

I LOVE ‘How to train you dragon’ and ‘Kung Fu Panda’ for this because their coloring is so inspiring and if you truly want to learn from professionals... well those are the type of media to look for of course! I have an entire folder to inspire me just based on those.

Do you see how calculated those color combo’s are?!?! Here you see both analogous and complementary schemes and it is actually through looking at the things I like that I learned it >< The orangey colors stand out and are bright which helps you to focus on that area whereas the complimentary scheme is used to bring characters together.

If drawing Manga-caps is something you love to do, then maybe for coloring you can study screen-caps from Anime or even other animated films. I’d recommend to take it step by step, though I haven’t really applied it myself, from the video’s I’ve seen and artists I’ve followed it is always advised to have an art-goal that you can work toward. Maybe you first want to focus on lineart and then laying down a base color where the colors are harmonious and next would be cell-shading maybe and then you can start adding another light-source etc- eventually you can decide to create more depth or practice with monochromatic coloring, maybe even greyscale to learn values. But right away that can all sound a bit intimidating doesn't it? Find things that you like and then maybe you can open them in your program and just study. Find a brush you like, put on some music or a show on the background and for a moment play around with it without needing to create a finished piece. This is also how I learned how things like adjustment layers work or what all the different kinds of tools do. I have to agree with you, CSP is intimidating for me as well >< so this is kinda how I approach it as there are so many add-ons and additions within it but I try to only learn what I need for that moment so I don't overwhelm myself.  I definitely try to find video’s that can help me with creating Manga though! ^^ There are plenty!  It'll get easier eventually, you'll learn the program and you start to recognize placements for shadows and you will get a feel for the coloring- no worries 💪 Learning something new will always stay intimidating, every time I open up a new document I feel it too. It's not easy at all, but you kinda have to allow yourself to experiment and even make mistakes because practice is never perfect. I have some beginner tips written here- I hope any of this is somewhat helpful 🌷🫶

[yandere-mc-yt]

Your alive POG. You wouldn’t believe how fast I got to reading these alphabets which got me down bad for cryptid Techno. Can you cook one for him? Imma like to be 🐘 anon too if its not taken

Sure! 🐘 anon it is! :)

Warnings: Yandere Themes, possessiveness, violence mentioned, injury mentioned, maiming mentioned, abuse mentioned, Stockholm Syndrome mentioned, forced relationship

Cryptid!Techno

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Affection doesn't come wasy to Trchno but once he's past seeing his darling as meat, he's extremely affectionate. He's very cuddly and loves physical intimacy- especially after he's taught what kissing is. He LOVES tasting every part of his darling.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

VERY messy- like EXTREMELY messy. Techno has absolutely no qualms in killing anyone that may try to get between him and his darling.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

He'll definitely make it apparent that now that he has them, Techno wasn't letting go of his prey. Would he mock them though...? Maybe if they're crying and pleading and trying to get away.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

YES- a lot of things. I think I've talked about in an ask before so I won't elaborate.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

The old beastly god doesn't really do "vunerable"- not unless you count him snoozing away and baring his underbelly for his darling.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Amused greatly- two can play at this game and his darling may not like it when he wins.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

In the beginning before he got attached to his darling it was definitely a game and the escape attemptd wherea fun chase. After he had gotten more attached to his darling he didn't think lightly of it anymore.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

God where would I even begin..... maybe catching Techno in an extra bloodlusty mood where he wanted to taste his darling’s blood AND he wanted to bone. It's not a fun experience- his bites are far from gentle and he's definitely not small down before. It's a miracle that he didn't kill his darling during this.... or the dozens of other times when he's done it.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

At the beginning, darling was just a meal to savor until their eventual demise but now he wanted to keep them by his side forever. Just like other cryptids, he wants to make his darling immortal.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Can't exactly get jealous if any rivals for his darling die- but he CAN get a little jealous if a fellow god/immortal creature has his darling’s attention or if they're trying to steal darling away.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

He's very adamant about darling staying by his side unless he needs to run off for something and is very domineering until they eventually learn to behave. As time goes on and darling goes from being seen as a meal to savor to a mate, Techno does get a bit kinder and more considerate of them.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Techno has never been a romantic but based on what he's seen animals do and ancient human did, he'll certainly try his best to court them once he's dtarted falling for them. It's mostly tribute kills but he's also more attentive and somewhat gentle.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Nope not at all.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Techno is all about physical punishments- breaking or even TAKING his darlings limbs are on the table.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Not many? Other than keeping them close by, he won't take away electronics as long as they can't use them to escape somehow. Also not really a right to lose straight off the bat but darling can lose use of their legs or arms if push comes to shove.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Not very patient- he's quick to get annoyed if his darling isn't listening

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

I've answered about what he'd do about darling dying before so in regards to if they leave? He'd definitely try to get them back.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

If darling survived long enough that Techno changed the way he feels about them...... he kinda can feel guilt? But also like only in really special circumstances- like if the darling gets injuried or ill and he can't help them get better. He may be a god but he's not magically inclined and if getting another god involved like Phil doesn't help then he'll fight with himself about whether he should let his darling go back into society so they could be saved..... which then he will eventually concede and let them go.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Very simple answer- darling is tasty.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Annoyed at the beginning but when his feelings for his darling change over time, Techno.... is still annoyed. But in a different kind of way that's really frustrating to him.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Honestly I don't really know how to answer this- maybe it's because he's not exactly a classic yandere? Techno's obsession isn't romantic in nature (at the beginning at least) so I guess that's a big difference- that and the fact that he's not a normal person that exists in normal people society.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

His hibernation is a MASSIVE weakness and despite being aware of it, there's nothing Techno can really do as he can't resist his instincts. It's really lucky that he manages to wake up when his darling tries to escape.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Yeah a hundred percent and no need to elaborate.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Techno definitely doesn't feel reverence towards his darling- while he does eventually grow to love them, he almost doesn't even see them close enough to being an equal. He doesn't really care to win his darling over in the begining of their relationship but later on, he definitely puts in SOME kind of effort.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

There's no real pining for him in the begining but if his darling escaped before he could nab them the first time they meet, he'll do the next best thing to pining which is trying to stalk them like prey.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Possibly? It's easier to develop stolkholm syndrome instead but if darling pushes all the wrong buttons, they can end up getting broken- well if Techno doesn't accidentally kill them first.